#they’re probably just like yeah she’s on her bullshit again ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ and waiting it out until it blows up and i go cry to them about it

[backtodecembertv]

i love it when you look my way

[mandowh0re]

Peter’s Emergency Contact

Part 3

A/N: I got so many requests to continue this... So I did. And I think I’m going to keep continuing it with each chapter being something different relating to the first chapter. Thank you for all the love on this story.

Also, two things: 1) This one is very spideychelle centered and 2) I realized too late that I switched tenses from present in the last two chapters to past in this one... Sorry  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Warnings: cursing (obviously, everything I write have fucking bad words apparently)

Word Count: 1449

Part 1/ Part 2/ Part 3

Happy reading!

***

Tony had tried to prepare Peter for what was to come after the interview.

“People will treat you differently. There will be people who try to be your friend, and people who will try to hurt you because they’re jealous.”

Peter nodded, his knee bouncing from nerves.

“If it becomes too much, do not hesitate to call me and I will come get you. Ned has my number too.”

“Since when?”

“Since this morning. May said it would be a good idea since you like to torture yourself and keep things to yourself.”

Peter rolled his eyes.

“Promise me, Peter. You’ll call if anything happens or it becomes too much.”

Peter huffed, “I promise.”

So here Peter was, walking into Midtown High, trying desperately to ignore the stares everyone was giving him.

He successfully got to his locker where Ned and MJ were waiting for him, MJ spotting him first.

“Hey, loser.” She called.

Peter smiled, “Hey guys.”

“Hey! You doing okay?” Ned asked.

“I’m not really liking all the attention, but I knew what I was getting into.”

“We’re here for you if you need anything.” MJ said, her voice softer than usual.

Peter looked at her and smiled, “Thank you.”

The bell rang, and Peter hurried to put his books in his locker.

He and MJ walked to physics, Ned veering off to Calculus.

Peter got through half the day without incident, the only thing really happening being the teachers acting weird around him.

Then lunch came.

The trio was sitting at their usual spot, Ned and Peter animatedly arguing over whether the newer or older Star Wars movies were better while MJ quietly read her book, pretending not to listen.

Suddenly, a girl Peter had never spoken to before sat down next to him.

He had seen her around, she was pretty popular and really pretty, and a grade ahead of him.

“Hey, Peter.” She greeted him, leaning on the table and placing her hand on his.

“Uh, um, hi?”

MJ looked up from her book and tensed, her heart in her throat.

The girl shot a look at MJ, then moved back to Peter.

“So, I’ve thought you were cute for a while, and my friends made me come over here to ask you. But do you think you’d wanna go out sometime?” She asked, her voice at an annoyingly high pitch, making MJ grasp her book harder.

Peter quirked an eyebrow, pulling his hand away from the girl’s.

“I, um, thank you. But I kind of, uh, like someone else.”

The girl’s face turned to that of annoyance, “Who? That loser?” She jerked her head towards MJ.

Peter got mad then. Who did this girl think she was?

He straightened his posture, “I think you should go.”

She let out a nervous laugh, “Come on, now, Pete-“

“He said, leave.” MJ told her, seeing red. She knew exactly what this chick was doing.

The girl flipped her hair and stood.

“Fine, whatever. Your loss, Parker.” She walked off.

Peter turned to see MJ looking at him with wide eyes and Ned smirking.

But before any of them could speak, the bell rang to leave.

MJ quickly grabbed her things and left, not waiting up for the other two.

That’s how the rest of the day went. MJ ignored Peter, and subsequently Ned.

At the end of the day, Peter waited at the doors of the school for MJ where he knew she would walk out.

“Parker,” a voice came from behind him, startling him.

He turned to see Flash.

“Uh, hey, Flash.” Peter said, keeping his eyes on the hallway.

“I, um, just wanted to apologize. For not believing you when you said you knew Tony Stark.”

Peter almost gave himself whiplash turning to Flash, “What?”

“I’m sorry. For not believing you. And for being a dick about it.”

Peter was about to answer with a snide comment, but then saw a head of familiar brown curls out of the corner of his eye and just went with, “Yeah okay. Whatever, thanks dude.” And speed walked over to MJ, grabbing her arm and pulling her into a closet.

“Hey!” MJ shouted, trying to pull away, but Peter was using his super strength.

When he closed the door she tried again.

“Peter, what are you doing?” She demanded.

He turned on the light and turned to her.

“What’s going on? Why are you ignoring me?”

MJ looked at Peter, trying to keep her facade up.

“I’m not.”

“Yes, you are.”

“Peter, I-“

“You’re using my real name. I know something’s wrong.”

MJ thinned her lips into a line and looked at the floor. Damn. She didn’t realize that. Did she always do that when she was mad?

Looking up at Peter, her eyes met his, and suddenly her filter came off.

“The girl at lunch,”

“Is this about her calling you a loser? Because if it is-“

“No, Peter. I don’t give a shit what someone else calls me.”

“Then what-“

“I’m mad because… Because…”

She took a deep breath and reached out, grabbing his neck and pulling him into a kiss.

It lasted only a second, and she quickly let go.

Peter stood stunned.

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be.”

He intertwined his fingers with hers, and pulled her back into him, kissing her again.

He broke it off again after a few seconds, but never let go of her hands.

“You don’t know how long I’ve wanted to do that.” Peter whispered.

MJ smiled, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear.

“I think I do.”

They stood there quiet for a moment before she spoke again, “I’m mad because I’m being selfish. I tried to stop but the thought of you with her, or anyone else, I can’t-“

“Hey, it’s okay,” Peter said softly, “If it makes you feel any better, I've felt the same way for months.”

MJ closed her eyes and sighed.

“Plus, I’m glad it’s you. Ya know, this way I know you don’t like me because I’m ‘Tony Stark’s son’. Since you hate him and all.”

MJ giggled, making Peter’s smile grow bigger.

Just then the door to the closet flung open, revealing Tony and Ned, startling the teenagers.

“Well well, look what we have here.” Tony looked at the two with a knowing smirk.

“It’s not what it looks like!” Peter’s voice broke.

“Bullshit.” Ned replied, grinning like a maniac.

“Yeah yeah, whatever. Come on, I have to get you and your girlfriend out of here and past the paparazzi.

Peter almost argued that she wasn’t his girlfriend on instinct, but then shut his mouth.

The three followed Tony out of the school, Happy walking up and trailing them, keeping cameras out of their faces.

“Do you need a ride?” Tony asked the other two.

They denied, claiming they could walk home.

“Are you sure?” Peter asked.

MJ rolled her eyes, “Yes, loser, we’re sure.”

Peter smiled and squeezed her hand.

“You’ll probably be in the tabloids tomorrow.” He said apologetically.

She shrugged, “Maybe the other girls will back off then.”

Peter chuckled.

“Okay, children. Enough with the heart eyes. Happy’s getting impatient.” Tony said, ushering Peter into the Audi.

“I’ll see you tomorrow.” Peter told her.

She shoved his shoulder slightly, “You better.”

Peter waved to his friend and new girlfriend as the car pulled away.

“I thought she wasn’t your girlfriend?” Tony asked, a smug look on his face.

Peter shrunk in his seat, “She wasn’t.”

“Mhmm.”

“How did you find us, anyways?”

“When you didn’t come outside, I thought something was wrong, and your heart rate was higher than normal. So I came inside to find you, only to find Ned looking for both you and Michelle. It doesn’t take my ridiculously high IQ to put two and two together.”

Peter raised an eyebrow, “That doesn’t explain how you found us.”

“Oh, I tracked your watch.” Tony said, waving a hand flippantly.

Peter looked down at his wrist, forgetting he even had it on.

“Shit.”

“Hey. Language. And yeah, shit. Please take that thing off if you two decide to, ya know-“

“Mr. Stark!” Peter squeaked.

“I’m just saying! I’d rather not get an alert to an elevated heart rate when it’s just-“

“Please can we not talk about this? I’ll take it off.”

“That also reminds me. Have you had the talk yet?”

Peter hunched over, putting his hands on the back of his head, “Oh my God this can’t be happening.”

Tony slapped Peter on the back, “Sorry bud, it’s either me or May.”

Peter groaned, falling back into his seat.

Tony started, “So when a man and a woman really like each other…”

***

Iron Dad tag list: @tranquility-or-chaos @a-black-pegasus @phiauniverse @justsomeone-notimportant @do-you-downey @ididntdothatnope @marvelbased

Permanent tag list: @a-place-to-blog-marvel-stuff @yaarthoetree @yes-iamironman-blog @paradoxicalblueberry @kristin5687 @the-regal-warrior

Strikethough means I can’t tag you.

[zoemurph]

your midnights

posted on ao3 on new year’s eve!! only getting around to posting it here now cause uhhhh ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

on ao3

For flor

I wrote and upLoaded this from my phone. It's surprisingly hard to do. Also I wrote this in a few hours with no editing at all while at a family party so it's a mess but it had to be done

Is alcoholic champagne better than non alcoholic cause uhhhh gross

Will probably be edited when I get back home!! I'm away visiting family and have no wifi so. Wild.

Enjoy~

Evan glances to the clock. It's not even eleven yet, but it feels like they've been waiting for midnight to come for hours. He leans back against the couch and watches Zoe win another round of Bullshit. Jared throws his cards in the air as Zoe laughs and Alana flips the pile of cards in the center over to see how much of it is actually correct.

It's nice.

Evan's never really done anything for New Year's Eve before. There were parties, there are always parties, but he didn't go to the ones that were open to all and he was never invited to smaller ones before.

The last time he did something for New Year's Eve was probably six grade. Back when Jared and him were still close.

Connor drops down next to Evan on the couch. Connor lifts his cup in a toast to Evan and Evan rolls his eyes and knocks his own plastic cup against Connor's. He's only drinking apple juice, but Jared insisted everyone use red solo cups for the party aesthetic. Alana agreed, but only as long as no pictures with red cups end up in the internet.

"Colleges look at the internet," Alana had said seriously.

Evan had swallowed thickly and hoped that they don't read into any of his tweets. He didn't think he'd ever written anything bad but he wasn't not sure.

"Let's hope they don't find Murphy's emo tumblr," Jared had said with a smirk.

Connor had rolled his eyes.

"What are you drinking?" Evan asks Connor.

Connor swirls around whatever in his cup. "The alcohol free champagne Jared brought."

Evan wrinkles his nose. He tried some when Jared pulled it out, but he hated the taste. Jared also brought actual champagne, but they're saving it for after the ball drop. Evan probably won't have any, if it tastes anything like the fake champagne he's perfectly fine without it, but Zoe made everyone promise they wouldn't have any more than two cups.

"We aren't getting champagne drunk in Evan's house," she had said.

"We could," Jared pointed out.

Zoe threw a pillow at his head.

Connor laughs at Evan's expression. "Don't like it?"

"It's gross," Evan says. "How do you stand it?"

Connor shrugs. "It's not that bad."

"You also ate dirt once," Evan remembers, "so I don't know why I'm talking to you."

Connor bumps their shoulders together before he moves his arm to rest on the back of the couch. If Evan was braver, he could grab Connor's hand and pull his arm down around his shoulders.

Jared shouts as Alana beats Zoe and ends her running streak. "I love you, you over organized disaster!" he yells before launching himself at her over the pile of cards.

Zoe snorts and falls backward onto the floor as Alana laughs and tries to shove Jared off him as he smothers her.

Evan smiles and leans a little closer to Connor.

Connor lowers his cup. "He's gonna hurt himself one day."

"You say that like he hasn't."

Connor raises his eyebrows. "Has he?"

Evan shrugs and takes a sip of apple juice. "I love embarrassing Jared, but he'll probably kill me if I tell you the story I'm thinking about."

"Really? I could take him."

Evan shrugs. "Ask him about the biology incident sometime."

Connor narrows his eyes.

"Are you talking about me?" Jared asks, looking up from where he's still flopped on top of Alana.

"Maybe," Connor says. "What is it to you?"

Alana pokes Jared in the side. He yelps and rolls off of her as he curls up in a ball. Zoe takes Alana's hand and pulls her so she's sitting upright as she giggles.

Jared flips Alana off as he gets to his feet. "Don't go and give away my secrets, Hansen."

Evan mimes zipping his lips.

"I can't believe you don't trust me," Connor says. "I thought we were closer than that."

Jared scoffs and grabs his cup off the table. "Keep dreaming, Murph."

"I wasn't talking to you, Kleinman." Connor taps the top of Evan's head with the hand that's been sitting next to his ear. "I was talking to Evan."

"Evan would never betray me."

Evan puts down his cup. "Okay, so we were in seventh grade and we had just started the unit on—"

"We get it!" Jared interrupts.

"No keep going," Zoe says from where she's sitting on the floor. "I wanna hear the rest of this."

Jared carefully puts his cup on the coffee table and backs away from Evan with his hands raised. "Don't hurt me, I won't hurt you."

"Are we done?" Alana asks, gathering up the cards.

"Yes," Jared says immediately. "I'm not losing to Zoe again."

Zoe smiles brightly. "I don't know, I kind of want to kick Jared's ass again."

"Nope!" Jared flops back onto the couch, narrowly avoiding landing on Connor. "Let's do a social media check."

Evan shifts uncomfortably. "Or we could...not?"

"Social media check?" Alana asks. Zoe hands her the last cards and the card box.

"See what the other parties are like," Jared says, pulling out his phone.

"What we're missing," Connor mutters into his alcohol-less alcohol.

"We aren't missing anything," Zoe says sharply. "Unless any of you want music that's too loud and massive hangovers in the morning."

"We can have hangovers here," Jared says. He doesn't look up from his phone, but points in the direction of the kitchen, where there's too much pizza and a bottle of champagne. The twist off kind, not the cork one.

"We aren't getting drunk on champagne," Zoe says. She gets to her feet. "Remote?"

Connor scoots over and pulls it from between the cushions. "Catch." He tosses it to Zoe and she catches it with minimal fumbling.

"What are you putting on?" Alana asks.

"Ball drop?" Jared suggests.

Connor groans. "That's boring as fuck, let's not."

"He's right," Alana agrees. "It's incredibly anticlimactic. It doesn't even drop, it just lowers. I expected more."

"Life motto," Jared mutters.

Zoe flips through a few stations before opening Netflix. "Anyone have any preference?"

"Nothing targeted for children," Alana says.

"Does that mean no Disney?" Zoe asks as she scrolls through movies and tv shows.

Alana fixes her glasses. "No that's okay. I've been spending a lot of time with Theo this week and I'm getting sick of her shows."

"You should've asked me to babysit," Connor says before taking a sip of his drink. "I don't mind watching that shit with her."

"That's because she loves you," Alana says. She holds out her hand and Zoe passes her her cup. "And you don't have to see her every day."

"I could."

"Whipped," Jared stage whispers into his cup.

Connor shrugs. "I won't deny it."

"It's sweet," Zoe says. She crams herself into the space on the couch between Evan and Connor, and Evan regrets not moving closer to Connor before. "I can't believe he spends so much time with a six year old."

"How long until midnight?" Evan asks.

"It's eleven oh three," Alana says.

"And I want pizza," Jared announced. "Anyone want anything from the kitchen?"

Connor holds up his cup as Jared passes by. "Fake champagne."

"Grab me a slice," Zoe says. "It can be cold."

"Sweet." Jared takes the cup from Connor.

"Don't destroy the kitchen," Evan calls out after him. "You had to clean it up if you do."

"You're a bad host, Evan," Jared shouts back.

Evan huffs and leans back on the couch, careful not to pull on Zoe's hair.

Jared comes back with a drink for Connor and two slices of pizza. Jared joins Alana on the floor and Evan grabs them pillows and blankets as Zoe and Connor bicker over what Disney movie is best.

They both turn to Evan.

"Lilo and Stitch," Connor says.

"No, Tangled," Zoe argues.

Evan blinks. "Uh..."

"Treasure Planet is better," Jared counters.

Evan rolls his eyes. "That's because you had a crush on Jim."

"That I did," Jared says with a serious nod.

Alana takes the remote from Zoe as Zoe and Connor go back to their argument.

Zoe slides down off the couch to join Alana and Jared on the phone, effectively ending the argument.

Connor smiles triumphantly at Evan. "I win by default."

Zoe scoffs. "That's not how this works. I'm just trying to enjoy time with my good friends."

"Good friends," Jared echoes sarcastically.

Zoe shoves him away.

Alana ends up putting on Trolls. She admits that she can quote parts of it, which Jared thinks is hilarious and Zoe thinks is incredible. Evan tries to inch closer to Connor without him noticing.

Evan finds himself weirdly invested in the movie and physically a lot closer to Connor than he expected to be when Jared sits up with a jerk.

He leans over Zoe to grab for the remote "Pause it! Five minutes until midnight. We have to find the ball."

Connor knocks the side of Jared's head with his foot. "I thought we greed that it was boring."

Jared shoves Connor's foot away. "Yeah but it's still tradition."

Alana hands over the remote. "We don't have any traditions."

"Well we're making them now." Jared pauses the movie and starts flipping through the channel guide. "If someone wanted to Google the channel number that'd be cool."

"I'll grab the champagne," Connor says, standing up.

Zoe glances up at him. "Not drinking it, right?"

"Nah," Connor stretches his arms up. "I'll stick to the fake stuff."

"Hey, Evan, your mom still have champagne flukes?" Jared asks, not looking away from the screen.

"If you promise not to break them." Connor offers Evan his hand and pulls Evan to his feet.

"Cross my heart, hope to die," Jared promises.

Connor follows Evan into the kitchen. Evan directs him to the top cabinet where they keep wine glasses. They carefully cover the counter in glasses so Connor can pull the champagne flukes from the back.

Connor grabs the two champagne bottles, actual alcohol and fake alcohol, and then starts helping Evan put the glasses away.

Evan finds himself leaning against the counter as Connor reaches up over him. Connor glances down at Evan. Evan feels his face heat up as he hands Connor the last glass.

"Three minutes!" Jared shouts from the living room.

Evan inhales sharply as Connor closes the cabinet. "H-how do you um— do you want to grab both bottles and I take the glasses or do you want me to take one or we could take two trips and—"

"I'm early," Connor says.

Evan blinks at him. "You're...what?"

One of Connor's hands comes up to brush against Evan's cheek. "Like by two minutes."

Evan is about to ask what Connor means like that because he's not making sense when Connor leans forward and presses his lips against Evan's.

It's quick and gentle and leaves Evan breathless when Connor pulls away, gathers up three of the flukes in one hand and a bottle in the other, and disappears back into the living room.

Evan brushes his fingers against his lips.

"Two minutes!" Zoe and Jared shout together. Zoe starts laughing and Alana says something that Evan doesn't hear.

"Took you long enough," Jared says.

"Couldn't find the glasses," Connor explains.

"Evan get in here!" Zoe shouts.

Evan takes a deep breath. He grabs the bottle of champagne that Connor left, the real one with actual alcohol, and the two remaining glasses. He walks into the living room and tries not to look too much at Connor.

Evan puts the glasses on the table with the others and the bottle far away enough from the half finished bottle of nonalcoholic champagne that they shouldn't get mixed up.

"One minute!" Jared yanks Alana to her feet.

She laughs. "Jared it's just another day."

He grabs her face. "Lana, it's the end of another shitty year. And we all made it. Celebrate."

Alana's eyes flick to Connor. He's too busy elbowing Zoe as she tries to put beads over his head — where she got necklaces Evan has no idea but Alana's wearing a golden one and Jared has about six — but Evan notices. Alana and Evan make eye contact and Evan quickly looks away.

"Celebrate," Alana repeats. "One minute till midnight," she says with a gentle smile.

Zoe manages to get a string of purple beads around Connor's neck and hands Evan some blue beads with a smile. Evan dutifully puts them on without a fuss.

"Ten!" the crowd on the television shouts.

Jared throws his arm over Alana's shoulder. "Nine!" he chimes in.

"Eight!"

Zoe laughs and lets Jared wrap his other arm around her waist and pulls her in. "Seven!" she yells.

"Six!"

Jared grins at Evan. "Five!"

Evan smiles weakly and then glances over to Connor.

"Four!"

Jared gives Evan a serious look and nods. Zoe gives him a thumbs up.

"Three!"

Evan inches closer to where Connor is on the other side of the room, watching the television with a weird amount of intensity.

"Two!"

Evan wipes his hands on his pants. They're shaking.

"One!"

He grabs Connor by the collar of his shirt and pulls him down to him and kisses him. Their noses bump and it's kind of messy but Connor's arms wrap around Evan's waist to pull him closer and Evan is kissing Connor and Evan's heart is pounding in his ears, so it's not all bad. There's cheering in the background and Zoe is laughing and Evan just smiles and kisses Connor harder.

When he breaks away, Connor leans back in and kisses the corner of his mouth before pressing their foreheads together.

"Happy New Year," Evan whispers.

Connor is smiling and Evan swears he would do anything to see that smile all the time. "Happy New Year, Ev."

"We did it!" Jared shouts. "We killed 2017!"

Evan turns away from Connor to see Jared twisting open the champagne and pouring it out. He shoves a fluke at Alana as Zoe holds out a glass to Connor.

Connor takes it from her, but keeps his other arm around Evan's waist. "Happy New Year, Zo."

She smiles and hands Evan the other glass. "Happy New Year, guys." She presses a kiss to Evan's cheek and ruffles Connor's hair.

Jared hands her her champagne before lifting his own fluke in the air. "We made it!"

Zoe raises her glass to clink it against Jared's.

"Happy New Year, everyone," Alana says and Evan thinks there might be tears in her eyes.

"We made it," Connor says softly and, Evan thinks, mostly to himself.

Evan smiles and taps his fluke against Connor's. "We made it."

[drunklander]

Drunj!Der Yells About Outlander

Thoughts on Ep. 309

*puts Lonely Island on repeat* Shipnanigans are here!

I was originally kind of not looking forward to the second half of the season because this part of Voyager is absolutely batshit bananas. But then I was wicked underwhelmed by the part of the season I thought I would love.

So fuck it. Bring on the ridiculousness.

I like this episode. But only if I try to watch it pretending like the first part of the season didn’t happen... Because if I watch it with the other episodes in mind, I just get mildly ragey that we skip over the important emotional work Jamie and Claire still have to do in favor of fluff followed by another separation. And yeah, I love fluff. I love secksi times. I love Fraser snuggles. But the jump from the end of ep. 308 to the start of ep. 309 leaves me salty that we’re yet again asked to headcanon the reconciliation between Jamie and Claire. *side eyes the similar jump between ep. 207 and ep. 208* Whatever.

Get your towels ready it's about to go down. Everybody in the place hit the fuckin’ deck. But stay on your motherfuckin’ toes. We runnin’ this, let's go.

New credits! And the title card... Take a good hard look at the motherfuckin’ boat.

Ok this opening bit. Like Jamie was an asshole for the last two episodes. Claire never actually got to tell her side of things. She basically was like nope, I don’t think I even want to be here. But now it’s like all good, she’ll go on this 18th century sea voyage to find Jamie’s nephew. For real? They couldn’t have made a handful of tweaks last week and the beginning of this week so she could say she was going because she wanted to be with Jamie and keep working on their relationship? And Jamie’s apparently never going to apologize for being a massive piece of shit toward her? They do a good job over the course of the episode of showing them together but still with the insecurities and stuff, but jumping from where they were on the cliff to where they are in this episode makes me side eye the show like whoa.

And yes, I know that she’s really going on the ship because she wants to try to make it work with Jamie, but geez, let her say that. Let her tell him that he’s been a dick to her but she knows he has it in him to be not-shitty and she’s going because she thinks he can be better than he is in the last couple episodes. I don’t know why it bothers me so much when they make us fill in the blanks ourselves on stuff that seems definitely important enough to actually show. And then make it seem like we’re dumb or bad fans or something for wanting to actually see things instead of just headcanoning them in, because that’s how this production team rolls.

Replacement Rupert and Angus just aren’t the same as the originals. Like no one can replace Rupert and Angus, but like, I can’t bring myself to give a crap about these randos?

For real though, Claire’s inner monologue is probs like yeah, never thought I'd be on a boat. It's a big blue watery road...

And I get her 20th century scoffing at superstition, but like, girl. You’ve been in trouble for being a “witch” enough times now that c’mon. Don’t act like you don’t understand what’s going on with the sailors.

Marsali is my everything. I love her. I love her so much.

As much as I want Jamie to stand up for Claire, I do like that Fergus does it. Because Jamie, my dude, you deserve everything Marsali’s throwing at you.

Claire’s “No. You don’t.” as she drags Jamie away is also my everything.

Oh hey, a trunk of clothes! Got some swim trunks, and some flippie-floppies. But not a nautical themed pashmina afghan in sight. Welp. Can’t have everything.

I know it’s supposed to be sweet that Jamie wouldn’t let anyone get rid of Claire’s clothes. And a nice inverse to Frank burning her clothes. But I’m still just kind of chuckling because it’s not like he ever saw them? What with him living in a cave and then prison and then Helwater and then with Laoghaire. But whatever.

“Would you care to dine with me this evening? We drinking Santana champ, cause it's so crisp.” This captain is seriously the human equivalent of  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. Like dude. You’re the captain of the ship and you’re just like welp. Can’t do anything about the men. They’ll do what they’re gonna do. It’s not like I’m the one in the position of authority or anything.

High fives to Fergus for calling Jamie on his bullshit revisionist history.

Although it’s kinda icky that Jamie knows all of the girls who Fergus has banged? And also fuck him for being super chill about Fergus banging tons of girls but so fucking uptight about Marsali and Bree. I know, I know, it’s a different time. That doesn’t make him not a hypocrite though.

Slash Jamie’s the last person who should be lecturing *anyone* about the importance of honesty right now. But whatever. No real consequences for lying soooo... *pretends the last few eps haven’t happened*

Yi Tien Cho convincing Jamie to do acupuncture is also my everything. Seriously, I know I had a *rull* low bar for how that character was going to be changed, but I’m really, really loving him.

I for real can’t wait for more of Claire and Marsali. Like yeah, Jamie’s marital status *was* Claire’s business, and Jamie hadn’t been living with Laoghaire and the girls for ages so Claire also wasn’t really breaking up a family or anything, but I really like that Claire just lets Marsali’s comment slide. Like call Jamie out on all of his bullshit, please, but Marsali’s a teenager whose life was thrown through a loop and I feel like trying to talk to her when she’s in this kind of mood isn’t going to get anywhere. So by just being like “well the whore should get the bigger bed, shouldn’t she” it’s like telling Marsali that she’s not going to be cowed by the snark and also that she doesn’t need to justify her place in Jamie’s life to a rando. Like she’s not going to concede power by trying to explain herself to Marsali.

But for real, I love Marsali.

I honestly don’t get Jamie’s aversion to Fergus and Marsali though. Like they’re not making the age difference a thing in the show. And Jenny’s fucking kids have apparently been married and spitting out babies since they hit puberty. Like I get it makes for some tension with Laoghaire, but who gives a fuck? She hates them all already?

Claire and Yi Tien Cho are my favorite pair that I was not expecting to like so much. But like her being genuinely interested in his story and him being open with her, which is probably the first time he’s gotten to talk like that with anyone since he got to Scotland, is so great.

Oh. Another VO. Cool. It’s basically like I'm on a boat motherfucker take a look at me. Straight flowin’ on a boat on the deep blue sea. Bustin’ five knots, wind whippin’ out my coat. You can't stop me motherfucker cause I'm on a boat.

Ok this insecurity in Jamie about hurting Claire’s feelings about the tea and acupuncture is adorable. Asshole Jamie’s insecurity of the past few episodes wasn’t. He was just an asshole.

And also, broseph, this is the kind of secret it’s ok to keep. Small, insignificant, adorable. The other one, not so much.

“My return has been confusing and frustrating. But it’s never been a question of whether I love you.” Confusing and frustrating is putting it a bit mildly, Claire, but apparently we’re done having real talk and Jamie doesn’t have to own up to being a fuckwad. Bqhatevwr. (Don’t get me wrong, I’m 1000% here for the fluff in this episode. I just have to pretend they actually did more of the hard convos in order to get to where they can have the fluff again.) And I’m pretty sure it *literally was* a question of whether you loved this Jamie, Claire. We all know you loved the old Jamie. But like, the whole thing on the cliff was literally about whether you loved the new Jamie. Y’know. The thing they never bothered addressing beyond the question being asked. Because lol nothing matters, fans can headcanon it and if they don’t they’re whiny and #badfans.

Whatever. *actively doesn’t think about past episodes* Here for pincushion heart eyes. Lookit how cute they are.

Cause of death: Claire telling Jamie about reading Bree Goodnight Moon.

And I love them talking about the moon like with the science of men flying there and the folk tales of the man in the moon representing each of them. They’re gonna fly this boat to the moon somehow. Like Kevin Garnett, anything is possible.

“You miss her.” “Terribly.” Glad they’re highlighting Claire still feeling the loss of what she gave up to come back to Jamie. Still salty at his non-reaction to learning about his kid. And even here, like one line from him about Bree to let Claire know he loves her too? Or thinks about her too? To let Claire know she’s not alone in missing Bree? Please? No? Ok.

Here for the cuddles. I want the fluff. Believe me, I am trash for the fluff. I just wish again that the fluff felt more earned because they’d actually come to an understanding about where they stand with each other rather than just glossing over the hard part of coming back together. They showed the angsty set up then skipped the resolution and went straight to the fluff.

Whatever. Back to pretending the last few eps didn’t happen. Give me all the fluff. It’s fucking wonderful. I love fluff. I am a broken record.

I feel like the gif of Claire saying “that’s insanity” is going to come in quite handy...

Jamie going to save his dude like fuck land, I'm on a boat, motherfucker. Fuck trees, I climb buoys, motherfucker. I'm on the deck with my boys, motherfucker. And no one is gonna mess with his Ardsmuir boys.

Really reaching to fit some of these lyrics in and I’m not at all sorry.

The way they chant Jonah is def the angry mob way to chant it, but in my head I def kept being like Jo! Nah! Jo! Nah!. Like pumping someone up at a sports thing or something. You’re doing it wrong, brain.

I have a lot of feelings about Yi Tien Cho giving up his story and letting it go before he wanted to in order to save Jamie and his men. Yi Tien Cho really is the best of them.

And honestly Jamie telling the captain to let YTC speak is maybe the most decent thing he’s ever done for the man.

And then the papers fly off in the wind and I realize that I give not a single fuck about the actual plot of this episode.

But Claire saying thank you to Yi Tien Cho is so much more than just thank you for quelling the fight. Like this guy just told the story of his life, of where he’s from, and now he needs to give it up. And she recognizes and respects and appreciates what it’ll cost him to give it up since she too is from a place the fuckers on the ship couldn’t possibly understand. And he did it for this group who, as he so passionately said, thinks the worst of him. I have so many feelings about Claire and Yi Tien Cho, guys.

They kept in the ship quickie! I def thought they were going to cut it! Bless them for keeping it. Blesss. Same feelings about the rest of the fluff still apply, but this show is probs always going to pull stuff like this so I clearly just need to get over it and accept the fluff I’m given like a #goodfan.

Jamie’s like believe me when I say, I fucked a mermaid.

(I swear, I *hated* the line last week when Jamie said Jenny would sooner believe Claire was a mermaid than from the future, but at least it means the most ridic lyric in the fucking song fits perfectly.)

And Jamie being cute about Claire’s hair. Awww.

I hate the king of men line. Hate it. Hate that the production is so fixated on that. And that they think it’s cute to keep including their weird in-jokes in the show itself.

But whatever. Snuggle time! Yay for snuggles! Embrace the fluff! Forget your issues with the show! Stop being a sourpuss!

Oh snap, the British are coming!  Never thought they’d see the day, when a big boat comin’ their way.

RIP Lt. Babyface. Long live Capt. Babyface!

Yay for Claire telling Jamie about her oath. And yay for Jamie actually getting it and respecting what she needs to do. It’s like ep. 306 Jamie again with the whole respecting Claire’s calling thing. So like, we should just ignore ep. 307 Jamie? Because he was an asshole about it.

Oh man, next week is gonna be rough, isn’t it. *All* the puking. This ain't Seaworld, this is real as it gets.

For real though if the puking noises next week are like the brothel noises in ep. 306, I’m going to just watch on mute or something with the closed captions because it’s over the top, show.

Ok if Thomas Leonard is Capt. Babyface, I guess that makes Elias Pound Midshipman Fetus.

Oh man the cook being all like I'm flippin’ burgers, you at Kinko's straight flippin’ copies. Don’t fuck with Claire when she’s in Dr. Claire mode, my dude. You will not win that fight.

Yeah. If I pretend like this episode is the first one of the season, I like this episode. I’m kind of pissed that the show managed to make me salty about fluff. I love fluff, why you make me salty about fluff, show? And now I just want a goddamn fluffernutter.

And since I’m ignoring everything that could have been up until now, it doesn’t bug me that Jamie and Claire are separated...again. Because lol nothing matters.

Fucking give me all the badass Dr. Claire you have, show.

She’s on a boat motherfucker, don't you ever forget.

[unitedspoonsofvulcan]

Thanks to @herequeeranduncomfortable for tagging me in this thing!

THE LAST:

Drink: very cheap, very flat champagne

Phone call: Technically my voicemail, but actually my Mom lol

Text message: A long text containing my conspiracy theory on how James Franco is an asshole who takes advantage of the gay community for the $$$ and how much I hate him

Song listened to: “Beth” performed by Kina Grannis

Time I cried: It’s been a stressful time for me lol. So like a few hours ago?

HAVE YOU:

Dated someone twice: I don’t have enough dating experience for that to even be a possibility ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Kissed someone and regretted it: I guess a little? Once when I was drunk I made out with a straight girl who I kinda disliked and was not attracted to. But I’m flattered that I was her first gay experience so it kinda levels out for me lol

Been cheated on: again, I haven’t dated enough for that

Lost someone special: not to death, but I’ve lost some close friends due to personal circumstances

Been depressed: Yeah for like ten years now lol

Gotten drunk and thrown up: ooooh yes. But I don’t let it stop me from continuing to drink lmao

LIST 3 FAVOURITE COLOURS:

Royal blue

uhhhh navy blue

black?

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU:

Made new friends: I’ve met one or two people I’m friendly with, but we’re not *friends* friends

Fallen out of love: no

Laughed until you cried: Probably! There’s this one story I can’t tell without absolutely losing my shit laughing, so I”m sure at very least I cried at that

Found out someone was talking about you: Yeah kinda but like I could tell what she thought about me in the looks she gave, so it wasn’t really a surprise or a secret when I heard what she told other people lol

Met someone that changed you: I haven’t had a very social year, so no. Maybe in the upcoming months though? Who knows.

Found out who your friends are: I think I already knew

Kissed someone on your fb friend list: No actually! Sadly I haven’t kissed anyone all year.

GENERAL:

How many of your fb friends do you know irl: All of them except for a handful

Any pets: At “home” I have a cat named Kitty who I’m going to get to see again very soon!!!

Do you want to change your name?: I’ve always hated my first name, but I could never come up with a fitting alternative. I’m fine with just going by my last name though.

What did you do for your last birthday: Cried a lot lol. My friend did end up making me a really nice last-minute dinner but other than that it was a really bad day tbh

What time did you wake up: sometime after 4PM. I’m on that summer sleep schedule

What were you doing at midnight last night?: Definitely on the couch. Possibly napping? If not then I was watching tv or something

Something you can’t wait for: Moving out of the state of Louisiana

One thing I wish I could change in my life: Idk I guess being more personable/less hateful would probably make my life a lot easier for me.

Listening to right now: Literally at this moment? Nothing. In general in my life? Also nothing lmao I’m just listening to the same shit I have been for years

Ever talked to a Tom?: I don’t think so

Something getting on your nerves: Kinda everything lmao I’m an easily aggravated person

Most visited website: Youtube/tumblr

Moles: Yeah I have quite a few! I’ve got some little constellations on my arm, and a really cute one on my ear. My favorite is this one between my boobs tbh

Marks: I guess the only one is the skin just below my nail on my index finger, which is permanently slightly pink and swollen form years of picking at it

Childhood dream: The only thing I specifically remember wanting as a child was “a big ball of cats”

Hair colour: Kinda dark brown

Long or short hair: Short! Although it’s a little shaggy at the moment

Do you have a crush on someone: Nah I’m aromantic

What do you like about yourself: Usually almost everything but currently nothing

Piercings?: Three in each earlobe, plus my nostril

Blood type: idk

Nickname: I don’t think I have one? I had Syrup for a short period of time when I was little

Relationship status: single

Zodiac: Capricorn

Pronouns: I don’t really care what people use for me but she/her is fine

Fave TV show: I can’t really narrow it down to one but I like Pushing Daisies, A;TLA, Over the Garden Wall for a miniseries. Maybe Star Trek DS9

Tattoos: None as of now, but I’m considering getting a Sasha Velour tattoo because I’m in love with her

Right or left hand: right, although I did try to learn to be ambidextrous when I was little. It didn’t work obviously lol

Surgery: I’ve had my wisdom teeth removed, but no real surgeries

Hair dyed a different colour: I died my hair black during my goth days, and for a short while I had blue streaks in it

Sport: lol no

Vacation: I’d love one to anywhere, but probably won’t be going on one for quite a while

Pairs of trainers: I have two pairs of cheap sneakers. One is for looking cute and makes me a little taller. The other is for comfort so they get worn a lot more

MORE GENERAL:

Eating: I’m really picky about condiments I guess. Like I think they put too much sauce on almost everything that has sauce on it. I also I hate the texture of mushrooms

Drinking: I used to be really into New Amsterdam Red Berry vodka, but the smell and taste have started to make me sick. Lately I’ve been drinking cheap white rum instead.

I’m about to: Probably watch another movie and/or try to find a relaxing game

Waiting for: A good job, a workable living situation. Possible therapy? Hopefully medication

Want: To not live alone or with my family

Get married: Idk I don’t necessarily believe in romance but I like the idea of having a life partner and tax breaks. So I guess I’d like to get married but I don’t necessarily see it in my future

Career: death

Lips or eyes: idk not to be That Person but I’m usually just attracted to people who are nice lol

Shorter or taller: my height or close too. Significant height differences would cause inconveniences

Older or younger: Older with lots of money to share with me

Nice arms or nice stomach: again for me it’s mostly about personality. Although I do enjoy Muscle Girls and usually their arms are more visible

Sensitive or loud: I don’t think that these are mutually exclusive. But loudness does make me nervous

Hook up or relationship: I guess relationship but either would be nice

Troublemaker or hesitant: Hesitant I guess?

HAVE YOU EVER:

Kissed a stranger: Not a stranger, but people I barely knew

Drank hard liquor: yes lots

Lost glasses/ contacts: Yes!! The reason I stopped wearing my glasses was because I lost my favorite pair. I think I lost them in ecology class one day so they’re probably in a literal ditch on the side of the road somewhere

Turned someone down: Only once directly in the fifth grade, but I’ve also ghosted a few people

Sex on the first date: no

Broken someone’s heart: nope

Had your heart broken: no

Been arrested: nah

Cried when someone died: Yeah my literal grandpa and then my space grandpa (Leonard Nimoy). Probably other celebs too. I’m an emotional bitch

Fallen for a friend: -ish? I used to convince myself I had feelings for my friends. I was deep in denial but even at the time I knew it was bullshit

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

Yourself: Depends on what it’s in relation to. I know I’m smart but I’m also very lazy so I’m useless at go-getter-type activities

Miracles: Very unlikely coincidences are bound to happen sometimes

Love at first sight: Bruh I don’t really even believe in regular love

Santa: Welp I’m an adult so no

Kiss on the first date: If I ever go on a date we’d better bone down immediately

Angels: I’m a pretty strict skeptic, so no

OTHER:

Current best friends names: All of my friends are the best! I don’t want to have to pick lol

Eye colour: brown

Fave movie: Uhhh maybe But I’m a Cheerleader or Hard Candy or something. That’s another hard one to narrow down though

And yeah that was fun! It’s been a while since I got tagged in anything interactive lol. I’m going to tag @marlar and @smolsweetpotato, and @inthemirrordorkly. Plus anyone else who wants to participate :)

[mittensmorgul]

For the first time in weeks, I had exactly zero messages, anon or otherwise, asking me about the new episode. Let me say, I feel y’all’s apathy. There were a few things that are worth mentioning, though.

First of all I AM THRILLED THAT GAVIN WAS RESTORED TO HIS PROPER TIMELINE. As to HOW and WHY and all the rest of the details surrounding Gavin’s return... I’m just gonna...

BUT IT IS DONE. I am more than willing to just close my eyes to the timey-wimey bullshit fixing their original problem dredged up. It’s just gonna give me a migraine trying to sort through this problem. I just... can’t be fussed to care.

For ~plot reasons~ I’m just gonna... handwave the whole mess and pretend it’s just... not a problem anymore and just move on with my life. Especially since it didn’t really seem like Bucklemming themselves could be fussed to do it much justice. The whole plotline played out with the feeling that they’d been ordered to clean up their mess by Dabb and they went about it in the most perfunctory and grudging manner possible.

Okay. :)

On to the other important plot-related stuff, in order from least disappointing to most disappointing:

Mary’s descent arc is moving along apace. Those BMoL weapons that we find absolutely morally reprehensible (that mutate vampire blood to poison them en masse like some sort of radiation sickness, and now a ray gun that boils rugaru brains at twenty paces), Mary thinks they’re neat and effective tools. Her “training” session with Ketch was a more voluntary and only slightly less horrifying callback to Castiel’s “training” under Naomi to kill a warehouse full of Deans. To an extent, I think when Dean learns the entire truth about Mary’s involvement with the BMoL, it’ll have the same metaphorical impact. Basically a room full of “you’re dead to me” Deans... a la “the face.”

(aside to note that all I could think of when Mary complained about “the face” was Phil Dunphy on Modern Family talking about how “in the know” he is about the kids’ lingo... before listing off the acronyms he knew... including WTF, which he sincerely believed stood for “why the face.” WHY THE FACE. And yes. This was a serious WTF for me... in the correct meaning of wtf...)

So yeah, Mary’s come ~partially~ clean to Sam and Dean. She’s been willing to accept Ketch’s statements about Toni having been a “rogue operative” who wasn’t working within the authority of the MoL, but Sam and Dean have seen just a little bit too far behind their curtain. They’ve also had experience with these sort of shady deals, and unlike Mary, they’ve grown FAR past the “shoot first, ask questions later, just kill ALL THE MONSTERS” mentality. Mary still believes in that definition of hunting. On top of all the guilt she feels personally-- rightly or wrongly-- for the lives her boys ended up leading.

That fundamental core belief is in need of some serious shaking, and I think (I hope!) that 12.14 begins to address that for her. She’s still keeping some secrets (like her role in having been ordered to steal THE COLT in 12.12...) so Sam and Dean are still partially in the dark as to the extent of her shady dealings. There’s definitely more revelations to come to light before they have all the information they need to begin putting the RIGHT questions to Mary...

Dagon’s an interesting character. Kinda relieved she was used so lightly in this episode, so they didn’t have a chance to do anything regrettable with her... but still... both she and the two angels had no trouble finding Kelly, when Cas and Sam and Dean have been looking for her for weeks now with no success. I’m now rolling my eyes at the logic gap with that one, but then I remember Bucklemming and again it’s just easier to handwave it and accept they lack a grasp of narrative continuity and logic. *HEAVY SIGHING*

I’m slightly confused as to how she was able to just annihilate two angels so easily when Ramiel needed to use Michael’s lance on Cas... but then again maybe he could’ve just poofed Cas to death and he just wanted to watch him suffer with the wound from the lance instead. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

(I should probably just title this essay *shrug emoji*)

(anyway, moving on)

Rowena was a delight, as usual. I love that she’s developed her own interesting relationship with Sam and Dean, independent of Crowley. And despite the fact that Rowena has worked with Crowley when their motivations were to defeat a common enemy, it’s interesting to see the sort of situation that has the power to drive a wedge between them.

I’m glad that Rowena’s grudge over being forced to kill Oskar has finally gotten a little payback. I also find it interesting that her revenge also including a “child” who had been “displaced in time.” Rowena had given Oskar immortality, which in its own way is just as problematic as Crowley’s desire to give Gavin a shot at a normal life in the wrong time.

Crowley’s weirdly powerful feelings toward Gavin, I believe, stem from just how human and vulnerable he’d been through most of s9 when he was at the peak of his human blood addiction. Granted by 9.21 he’d “recovered” a lot from that, but he was also biding his time waiting for Dean to completely succumb to the Mark. Crowley had some weirdly familial feelings for Gavin, after having largely ignored the boy for most of his life. Getting a chance to give Gavin a taste of normal modern life was probably the least he could do to repent for that... but the fact he STILL seemed to care so much now is just... weird. IDK.

I saw another post complaining that Sam and Dean didn’t “let” Crowley have a proper goodbye, and Rowena had frozen him when he’d reached out to Gavin. BUT CROWLEY WAS NOT ABOUT TO SHARE A TEARFUL GOODBYE. HE WAS ABOUT TO BOOP OUT WITH GAVIN AND TAKE HIM TO PLACES UNKNOWN TO PREVENT HIM FROM RETURNING TO HIS PROPER TIMELINE. So, no. I don’t think their actions there were hypocritical.

Dean’s shirt during the “Send Gavin Back To The Bottom of the Ocean” scene was eerily similar to the ugly plaid couch on which Cas nearly died in 12.12. So, watching Gavin reunited for all time with the “love of his life” while wearing the goofiest look on his face as these people who were brought back together by the power of their love in order to repair a broken timeline and restore a bunch of innocent people to life... *it’s all about the love... and love* and I mean thanks costume and props folks for dressing Dean in Castiel’s 12.12 couch basically. I see what you did there. I only put this so far down the list because it’s interesting, but that’s all it is.

Cas and Dean are still having private phone calls. But after the intensity of 12.12, and the revelations about Cas and his feelings, what we were given as a reminder here was just... underwhelming. There was just no weight to it, as if 12.12 hadn’t even happened. As if Cas hadn’t nearly DIED, and confessed his LOVE and feeling of FAMILY and BELONGING. It’s just... opportunity wasted to have given some sort of (or ANY sort of) emotional punch to the fact that Cas has just ~randomly left the bunker to fruitlessly continue the random Kelly search~ all alone. I mean... ???

Crowley. Oh dear. Can you say, Character Assassination??? I mean, wtf, bucklemming. After one of Crowley’s strongest episodes in YEARS, where we got a plethora of incredible insight into his motivations, his history, his intelligence, and his FEELINGS for the Winchesters-- including Cas-- all of a sudden we get this ridiculous disaster of characterization?

Seriously, WHAT THE FUCK.

What was both ridiculous and terrible here:

Crowley really had no idea that the Winchesters had failed to kill the nephilim?

THEY HAD BEEN IN PRISON BUCKLEMMING! REMEMBER? WHERE YOU’D PUT THEM WITHIN MINUTES OF THEM BANISHING LUCIFER IN THE FIRST PLACE?! AND IT WAS YOUR STUPID FUCKING PLOT HOLE THAT ALLOWED THAT TO HAPPEN IN THE SAME MOMENTS THAT KELLY WAS ALLOWED TO “ESCAPE.”

I mean, you could’ve just left her in the White House with the President and had Cas escape safely with Sam and Dean, BECAUSE YOU, CROWLEY, HAD THE ABILITY TO JUST BOOP IN AND PICK KELLY UP TO DO WHATEVER YOU WANTED WITH HER DOWN THE LINE. BUT NOOOOOOOO IT’S YOUR OWN DAMN IDIOTIC CANON ACROBATICS THAT HAVE LED US TO THIS INANE PLOT SITUATION FROM WHICH THERE IS APPARENTLY NO REPRIEVE. YOU STUPID FUCKERS.

So in order to make this entirely idiotic and contrived plot line work, you have to warp a character so far beyond logic that they barely even seem to be the same character we saw the week before... and no. After the brilliant writing, the loving recollection of past canon and the incredibly nuanced characterizations we’ve had over the prior three episodes, this just felt THAT MUCH MORE FUCKING CONTRIVED AND WRONG FOOTED.

I’m not really gonna forgive this bit.

Crowley, Mr. “i’m the only one on the board who doesn’t underestimate those denim wrapped nightmares,” Mr. King of Protecting his own Self Interest, Mr. You’re Good But I’m Crowley... you... bucklemming... want us to believe that in ANY ITERATION OF REALITY that Crowley is not only petty and vengeful enough to have his demons pull the same “resurrect the meatsuit” bullshit they pulled to fix your meatsuit with in 11.01 TO DIG UP AND REPAIR LUCIFER’S FORMER VESSEL NICK, as well as “studying the molecular makeup of the cage” in order to forge some weird dog collar thing strong enough to hold Lucifer, and that you would risk unleashing Lucifer on the world again ENTIRELY OUT OF PETTY VENGEANCE BECAUSE YOU WANT TO FORCE HIM TO CLEAN YOUR FLOOR WITH HIS TONGUE?!

I’m sorry. That’s just... no. That’s too much no.

AND IT GETS WORSE!

Not only is Crowley suddenly behaving idiotically out of character here, HE IS ALSO SUDDENLY MORONIC ENOUGH TO LET INFORMATION SLIP IN LUCIFER’S HEARING? Like the fact that he even had a son at all, let alone was having some sort of ~personal issues~ surrounding this weird parental family dynamic?

AND CROWLEY IS REPEATEDLY PUTTING HIMSELF IN A SITUATION WHERE HE’S LET HIMSELF BECOME COMPROMISED THIS WAY?!

I mean... this is NOT the Crowley we’ve seen lately. The Crowley who would sacrifice the only weapon that could potentially put Lucifer out permanently. One of the FEW weapons that could even protect him from what he should likely expect will be the revenge of Dagon and Asmodeus after Crowley essentially broke his deal with Ramiel... yet he’s too busy being a petty little tyrant toward Lucifer to be concerned about them?

I guess I’m particularly outraged about this 180 degree about face in Crowley’s characterization because after three OUTSTANDINGLY character driven episodes in a row, what we got here was a TERRIBLE FUCKING MESS.

Most of s12 so far has felt so deeply personal, like all of the major plot arcs have been deeply rooted in the characters own feelings and history, and have revolved around the questions of what is family and what is love and who am I and where do I fit in this world.

And in 12.13, it seems like ALL of that was just tossed out the window in favor of a couple of utterly contrived and flimsy plot points.

With a few obvious exceptions as stated above, it just felt entirely out of step with the rest of s12. In the hands of a capable writer, that could’ve been an entertaining and believable episode. But what we were served lacked any of the finesse and character development we’ve grown accustomed to.

Pro tip for writers: You have to make the plot actually fit the characters you’re writing for. This episode is an excellent example of how NOT to do that... >.>

[ainaraoftime]

oh fuck i forgot to post the draft of me liveblogging the end of the trial. i’ll go ahead and add thoughts at the end of it too

(uh, content warning, talk about incest i guess)

“wanted to make 100 friends”??? could’ve this all been avoided if he’d discovered social media websites?

i wonder who is monodam gonna kill this time

“for the one i love” jeez, they’re really bent on making parallels with tsumiki’s trial, huh?

THAT’S... A KINDA NSFW SCREENSHOT. what was the rating of this game again? 16? anyways, let me guess... his sister? i like Nate’s idea that it’s fukawa. would be very funny

oh, his girlfriend then i guess. they just looked really alike

OKAY NEVERMIND IT IS HIS SISTER

...oh

OH

EEEEWWWWWWWWWWW

“ there’s a note in the corner and it says that they uh, “were not bound by flesh”, and i think that means they didn’t actually fuck, so, yknow, if you want that...” well thanks for the translation Jess. i mean, still, eww

HE’S A SERIAL KILLER TOO?????? JESUS

“i was so sad that i almost went crazy” yeah, almost...

i love it when ouma’s making weird faces in the background of a shot

so he only kills girls, eh? he’s reverse syo... “all of the girls except for harukawa and iruma were fit to be friends with my sister” flksldñs

oh no... oh no, that’s right, tenko volunteered to do it instead of yumeno... she gave her life for her without knowing it :(

oh no... tenko was a great choice because she loves women so much AGH I HATE THIS CHAPTER

man i’m expecting some great character development for yumeno. either that or she’s gonna pull a saionji and die before that happens ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ anyways, execution...

i....

have no idea what just happened. but hey, he’s dead now. not as brutal/shocking as chapter 1/chapter 2 but the ghost part was pretty cruel, i’ll give it that

NOOOOOOOOOOO but on the other hand i’m happy to hear her VA being allowed to show, like, emotions

okay! all done with chapter 3. so far in chapter 4 ouma grabbed the card that’s supposed to be the new motive and now he’s god-knows-where. maybe the library? i think it had a card reader

ALRIGHT THOUGHTS. i... have mixed feelings on this chapter! seems like they went out of their way to make the motive as fucked up as possible, and i mean, they succeeded, but... his motive was “killing people for the sake of my lover, who is dead”, which is basically... tsumiki’s motive, but with extra incest, for shock value. (although a good thing him and tsumiki shared is that both their breakdowns were very entertaining and very well voice-acted)

as for the victims... i mean, tenko is my favorite girl so yeah i’m sad to see her go, but at least she showed us her sweet side before dying, and she seems like she’s gonna be one hell of a motivator for yumeno’s character development. which, their relationship is reminding me of koizumi and saionji right now, except that 1. their relationship had a more complex basis than “you’re nice to me! you taught me to tie my kimono” (don’t get me wrong i love koizumi and saionji but) 2. tenko had more of a presence than koizumi i feel 3. Actual Confirmed Lesbian Crush this time around! 4. i’m hoping they don’t pull a saionji and kill yumeno next chapter, because it was a waste to kill saionji in dr2. i like saionji more than yumeno, and i’m more invested in saionji’s “mean character becomes nicer person” arc than yumeno’s “lazy person becomes less lazy” arc (also saionji’s more entertaining than yumeno), but hey, i’ll take what i’m given!

angie is ALSO similar to saionji in that her death was... walking in on the murderer doing preparations, being killed for being in the wrong place at the wrong time, get her unplanned death quickly covered up. it feels less like bullshit this time around, though. maybe because it wasn’t so rushed. maybe it’s because angie was being a minor antagonist and raising death flags left and right, as opposed to hiyoko “my character arc is gonna be SO great you guys, just wait” saionji. dunno what else to say about her! she had an antagonist role, which is nice ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ that’s it really

so yeah! i’m liking the game so far. one of my three faves is dead, and the other two haven’t done much yet (although the moment ouma does something is probably the moment he dies) (i’m expecting him to be a killer but we’ll see). i dunno if i can tell what my favorite chapter is, but my favorite culprit is probably the chapter 2 one, even with her surrealist backstory