#they’re like the only saving graces of my past few birthdays everyone else either forgets or makes the day worse somehow

[deityofhearts]

I maintain that the worst birthday gift I’ve ever received was from my aunt and uncle who on the day of my birthday were driving me home and stopped at the local hallmark store while I was told to sit in the car and then when we arrived at my home presented me with a card, a tiny santa clause shaped chocolate bar and a little charm with a “P” on it as my gift, things that they so very clearly got from the hallmark store while I sat in the car

[bodytoflame-ao3]

it’s brighter now

absolutely no one prompted this but it’s my birthday and i get to choose the self indulgent fanfic so here’s some early relationship wlw percabeth

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i don't wanna look at anything else now that i saw you

i don't wanna think of anything else now that i thought of you

daylight ..//.. taylor swift

Percy won’t stop holding her hand.

It’s still summer, and her palms are a sweaty mess, but Percy’s still holding her hand through camp, every chance she gets.

Annabeth loves it. Loves that she gets to walk around with Percy’s fingers entwined in her own, without thinking twice. The breeze flows through her hair — it's a crisp August night — but the only sensation she can pay attention to is the connection between them; palms together, arms tangled up. She still has no clue how to act around Percy — the dynamic between them completely shifted in the new light of their relationship — but this, this feels natural; her hand finds Percy’s without even thinking.

They don’t talk about it much. Instead, they spend every minute they can of each day with their hands linked; sometimes a still-awkward meeting of lips stolen in silence. She clings to Percy’s side with a newfound dependency — something she’d be embarrassed of if it didn’t give her such a thrill. Even though she knows she’s strong enough to face the world herself, there’s something oddly comforting in being protected by the girl who saved Olympus. Almost as if she could keep her safe from the gods themselves.

She feels like a child (and maybe she still is) trying to navigate this; new, and unexpectedly confusing, since it’s Percy — who was once so innately familiar — now such a new concept quite literally at her fingertips. Annabeth stops, pulling Percy back when she continues walking, turning to face the lake together. This place is… calm. It always has been. She knows, especially so, for Percy. And calm is good.

Percy’s the first to speak. “You know, last time we were here I wanted to kiss you so bad.”

“I wish you had,” she says, “I wouldn’t have had to sulk over you for a year.”

“I thought you didn’t know—?”

Annabeth laughs, leaning her head against Percy’s shoulder. “I’m a smart girl, Percy. I would’ve figured it out.”

She is — smart, that is — and it makes her wonder how she could’ve been so ignorant for so long. That it was not only to protect her friendship, and Percy’s feelings, but also for herself. Her pride. Because that’s hard to admit to herself, still. She thought she’d figured herself out by her seventeenth year. To feel something so different, so new, throws her so far off track.

And Percy is someone she trusts without hesitation; she doesn’t have to think twice about how her hand fits into hers, and so gently. More than herself, she admits. Annabeth would reach for her hand before trying to save herself — not because she doubts her own strength, but because she believes in Percy’s. She believes in her loyalty; her mind; her heart.

So she’s not sure why they’ve been sneaking around like they’re some sort of clandestine secret. They were both sure Clarisse would have told someone by now, after all, it’s been two weeks. They haven’t told anyone either. Of course, Grover probably knows, what with the whole empathy link deal (and Percy had mentioned he'd been goading her about it for years). But… even Sally doesn’t know yet; and Percy tells her everything. Annabeth wonders if she’s worried about what she’ll say, or just dreading the inevitable onslaught of questions. It’s not to say people haven’t noticed them, holding hands all around camp. And she’s not sure if they’re too intimidated by both of them to say anything, or actually unaware it’s evolved into something more.

Some part of her just wants to just kiss her in the light of the campfire, and say fuck it. But it’s hard to know that other people knew her feelings for Percy, when even she didn’t know herself. Like, somehow her opinions are invalid, because she wasn’t smart enough to see the feelings hurtling towards her like a damn freight train. After all, how could she be a competent leader if she couldn’t even deal with her own problems? It’s hard to get over without internalizing it so completely that she genuinely feels wrong for even thinking it in the first place.

Percy’s arm wraps around her waist; Annabeth turns to look at her, shaken out of her spiraling thoughts — and she laughs, remembering the words that sent her there in the first place. “You can, you know that, right?”

“What?”

Annabeth answers, quiet. “You can kiss me.”

Percy chuckles, and she does. Quickly, right on the corner of her lips, but long enough that Annabeth can melt into her embrace.

When her heart's stopped pounding in her chest, Annabeth takes a step forward, pulling Percy with her, towards the dock. “Come sit.”

She follows, and they kick off their sandals, legs dangling off the edge of the dock and into the water, taking in the last minutes of the sunset, warm oranges and purples melting into deep, burnt reds and desaturated blues.

“We have to tell people eventually.”

“I know.” Percy leans against her, slouching; her hand finding Annabeth’s once again by her side. “It’s awkward though,” she adds.

“Percy, I like you, I’m not afraid to admit that.” Not anymore.

“I mean… I don’t know,” Percy sighs, “It’s not that, it’s… I don’t want things to change.”

“Practically everyone here adores you.”

Percy’s head tilts up towards her, a cheeky grin on her face, “Aw, practically? You trying to tell me you don’t?”

Annabeth chuckles, nudging her, “Jerk. I’m serious.”

“So am I.” The smile falls from her face. But it’s hard to put into words. There’s a feeling deep in the pit of her stomach that feels foreboding and bad, though she can’t pinpoint why, or what it is.

“As fun as it is sneaking around — and I don’t even know if they’re completely fooled — I want our friends to know.”

“I like you. You know that; I really like you.” She’s such a clingy girlfriend. But, wow, she’s her girlfriend. She sighs, “It’s stupid.” Before Annabeth can chime in, she continues, “No, really, it is. I… don’t want anyone to treat you differently. And that’s dumb because, well, you pretty much saved all of their lives at least once and there’s no way they’d ever not be grateful for that, plus, like, we’re demigods, so who even cares if we—”

“Hey,” she raises her eyebrows, “Different… isn't exactly a bad thing. If it'll make the boys stop trying to flirt with me…”

“…I’d be quite grateful.”

She scoffs, and shoves Percy, inadvertently a little too hard, sending her tumbling into the water. It's not enough warning for her to deflect any of it; she surfaces a second later spitting out water and pushing her wet bangs out of her eyes. She doesn't even bother with drying herself, since before Annabeth can react, Percy's pulling her in by her foot, and sending herself into a fit of giggles.

“This is not a fair fight,” she remarks, pulling her barely-saturated curls into a lumpy bun on the top of her head, a quick dip not enough to soak her hair, but enough to be incredibly annoying.

Percy manages a response as her laughter subsides, “You should've thought of that when you decided to push a daughter of the god of the sea into the water!”

“I didn’t mean to!” Annabeth laughs, blushing furiously.

Treading water, Percy swims closer, flicking droplets of water into her face with a mischievous smile. “I still deserve a bit of revenge though, don’t I?”

Annabeth lets out a frustrated sigh, mainly towards herself for finding it so endearing. She can feel her clothes getting stiffer in the water, rough against her body as she treads. But still — Percy’s right here in front of her, with that charming grin. Against her better judgment, Annabeth seeks out these moments; moments she used to find annoying; or at the least, frustrating. It’s nice to see her smiling; the levity in her laugh making everything feel so much more normal. For a second, she can almost forget they’ve saved each other’s lives far too many times to count.

Her hands seek out Percy’s face with outstretched arms, bridging the last few feet between them, and kisses her. The lake is fresh, but somehow Annabeth can still taste the sea on her lips. She pulls back, hands still bracing Percy’s cheeks, letting a teasing smile grace her lips, “You’re infuriating.”

“Yeah?”

Annabeth pulls herself back up onto the dock, helping Percy up with a hand. “Yeah.”

She tries, desperately, not to focus on the way her camp shirt sticks to her body, suppressing a laugh when she sees Percy’s eyes dart away in the same way.

Percy doesn’t fix her hair or her clothes. Instead, she lays back on the dock without another word, staring up as the first stars start to appear in the sky, the mugginess of a lukewarm night setting in. Annabeth follows; it doesn’t help a bit. Her shorts are heavy, her shirt feels like it’s cemented to her body, and the air is murky. It’ll take all night to get dry, if at all. She stays anyways.

“What if we don’t tell anyone?” she asks.

Percy turns her head. “What do you mean?”

“Nothing has to change… we can just be a couple without announcing it.”

“I… yeah, I guess we can?” She hadn’t thought of it like that. It’s immensely appealing, much better than any other way she’d considered.

“Good,” she says, “I don’t want to be a big deal.” I’ve had enough of that the past five years.

She takes Annabeth’s hand again, against the worn, splintering wood of the dock. “Me either, gods. I mean, at all. Not just with—”

“I feel the same way. I just want to be… invisible for once.” She catches the irony before Percy can point it out, “And — don’t you dare. You know what I mean.”

“I do,” Percy admits. “You know I actually had a crush on you for years?”

She squeezes Percy’s hand, letting the action speak for her.

“That night in the rain. You asked me when I knew.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah, and I kinda gave you a half-assed answer,” Percy laughs.

Annabeth chuckles in response, rolling onto her side to face her, and listens intently.

“There was this girl from school — middle school — and… I mean we never talked, not really, but that’s when I started wondering…” As much peace as she’s made with the fact herself, it’s a million times harder to explain it to Annabeth. “And then it was another two quests, and I just… let myself forget, or… whatever.” She trails off, sighing. No, she never really forgot. But staying alive was more precedent; so it took a backseat in her mind’s list of important things. (Numbers one through one-hundred: don’t die. Number one-hundred and one: Deal with the fact that you’re in love with your best friend.) “Then there was Rachel, and she was always flirting, but I didn’t know if… if that was something I wanted too, or just…” She pauses. “I still don’t know if it was.” Rachel was a great friend; fun to be around — she still is. But Percy isn’t sure if she just wasn’t into her that way, or if her feelings for Annabeth were that overpowering. She figures she’ll have to be okay with never knowing. “And then there was Mount St. Helens, and — that’s when I knew. That’s when I really knew. But even before, I—”

“You don’t have to explain it, Percy. It doesn’t matter about all that. Not now.”

“But it does.” She doesn’t justify why. There’s no concrete reason in her mind, just that… it does, somehow — it’s a part of her.

Annabeth sits up, and pulls her up by the hand. “I was so dense that I thought you couldn’t possibly like me, because I would’ve noticed it; because I kissed you, and you never said anything about it.”

“I didn’t know what it meant.”

“Neither did I,” she admits.

“You mean…” It really was a heat of the moment thing.

“I didn’t… not for a long time. There were so many things that didn’t make sense. They do now.” She shrugs, like it isn’t a problem. “Don’t get stuck on that.”

“I’m trying not to.” In the silence, she sees Annabeth fiddle with the hem of her shirt, trying to unstick it from her skin. She dries them both off without a word.

“Thanks. That was getting—”

Percy breaks into a smile. “—Kind of gross. I was trying to live in the moment, but…”

Annabeth laughs, agreeing. “We should get back before the harpies try to turn us into their dinner.”

“Good idea.”

She walks Annabeth back to the Athena cabin in silence, still not letting go of her hand. Percy stands awkwardly in front of her, fiddling with her hands, as they reach the door. “‘Night,” she says, sheepish.

Annabeth grabs her by the shoulders, and kisses her square on the lips, disappearing behind the door to cabin six with a quiet “Goodnight, Percy,” and an amused shake of her head.

Percy’s eyes dart around; there’s no one she knows very well, but come morning, she knows everyone will have heard. She blushes all the way back to her cabin, hands smug in her pockets.

[mallorymwebb]

20 Things I’ve Learned by the Age of 20

Today is my birthday and I’m incredibly grateful that God has allowed me to live on this earth for another year! I know I’m still pretty young, but I wanted to share with you 20 things I’ve learned so far. I’m still in the process of learning and living by some of them, but I hope you can learn from them as well! (I’ve included some of my favorite Bible verses, lyrics, and quotes in this post.)

1. Surround yourself with people that are only going to bring out the best in you. In Proverbs 27:17, it says “as iron sharpens iron, a friend sharpens a friend.” I always want to be around people that are going to sharpen me to be my best; not dull me down. In the past, I’ve been surrounded by people that love to gossip and talk negative towards other people. The more time I spent with those people, the more I started to act like them. It just wasn’t the type of person I wanted to be. When I met the friends I surround myself with now, they spoke with such loving and kind words and they constantly encouraged other people. Suddenly, I didn’t want to gossip or talk negatively anymore because their ways rubbed off on me. They also encourage my dreams and the gifts God placed in me, constantly pulling me towards His divine plan for my life. Those are the kinds of people you want to be around; not the ones that bring you down or push you away from the love of God. Pastor Joel once said this in a sermon: “you can’t hangout with chickens and expect to soar with eagles.” I love that quote because it’s so true and it gives us a perfect picture of who we should surround ourselves with. If you want to “fly high” and do all that God has called you to do, you must surround yourself with people that have the same vision as you and the people that can see what God has placed in you.

2. Enjoy the little moments and never take a single one for granted. One of my favorite things to do is go outside and write in my journal, whether it’s on my front porch steps or on my pool deck. In those moments, I stop, look around at all that God has created, and just soak it all in: this very present moment. In this time that we are living in, everything is so rushed and fast paced. We go from one big moment to the next barely even stopping to think about where we are right now. I also love to go outside at night and look up at the stars. I feel so happy and grateful when I see those twinkling lights in the sky. Sometimes it’s like time stands still and nothing else matters. It’s the little moments like that. I understand that not everyone loves nature, but there are tons of other little moments that you can enjoy such as just being with your family and friends. There are a million moments to enjoy and be thankful for; we just have to recognize them!

3. “Don’t let the sun go down on your anger.” (Ephesians 4:26) This is definitely something that I try to remember every time I get into an argument with someone I love. The Bible specifically tells us not to go to sleep angry at someone. I’ve read somewhere that if you go to bed angry, over time your heart will begin to harden and you will harbor unforgiveness. That’s not what I want to do. I want a soft heart that forgives quickly, so it’s always my mission to apologize, make amends, or forgive that person before I go to sleep. It’s not always an easy task, especially when you are as strong-willed as I am and don’t believe it’s your fault. But it’s worth it when it’s all said and done and you’ll feel ten times better when you can lay your head on your pillow at night and fall asleep with peace and forgiveness in your heart.

4. You don’t have to be at every outing, you can be alone sometimes and that’s alright. There’s this acronym called FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out) which I sometimes struggle with. I used to think that if I was alone, I was missing out on  all the fun. Snapchat and Instagram don’t help it either. In today’s society, everyone is constantly posting on social media what they’re doing. They take a video or a picture of the happy moments - of them having fun for everyone to see and you’re sitting at home and suddenly, you feel down about yourself. We’ve all been there, haven’t we? But it’s okay to be alone from time to time. You don’t have to be with your friends 24/7. You can just be with your family sometimes or you can be by yourself. These are the moments that I find myself becoming closer to God because it’s just Him and I. (sidenote: you also don’t always have to post what you’re doing on social media. Enjoy the moment just as I mentioned in number 2! :) Don’t live it all through a camera lens. You will never get that day back so enjoy it through your own eyes.)

5. We should always thank God for waking us up every morning. This is something I’m currently working on and want to make a habit of. Every morning when we open our eyes and get to live another day, we are very lucky (actually, we are very blessed). Sadly, not everyone will get to see another day. And I know that sounds very harsh and depressing, but it is true. Everyday that we are alive and well, we are blessed and we should live like that - always grateful. :) 

6. A broken heart isn’t always a bad thing. I know this one doesn’t really make sense, but let me elaborate. When someone breaks your heart, it hurts.. terribly. I’ve been there, done that. I completely understand. But when you give all the broken pieces of your heart to God, He will take them and build something new. He will make you whole again and change your desires to want to honor Him and seek after Him. When you change your perspective and realize that everything happens for a reason and God always has your best in mind, it makes better sense and gives you peace in your soul. In Psalm 34:18, it says “the Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” My heart is not broken and hasn’t been for a few years now, but I just felt like I needed to add this for anyone that is going through a difficult time, whether it be a broken heart over a person or some news you just found out. This season won’t last forever and you will be happy again. “Weeping may endure for the night, but joy comes in the morning.” (Psalm 30:5) That’s the Bible verse that gets me through any tough time because I know that the night won’t last; the sadness won’t last. Better days are coming! 

“But the hard times are golden ‘cause they all lead to better days.” - Be Alright, Ariana Grande

7. Do what you love to do. God has given us all different gifts, talents, passions, and hobbies. Embrace what you love to do and don’t be afraid to be yourself. I absolutely love writing in my journal prayers to God. I love going out on my pool deck at night and stargazing. I love going to church every single week, more than once. If there was a church service every day, I’d be there! I love redesigning my room over and over again and I love scrolling through Pinterest for hours, dreaming about the house I want to build someday. I love listening to music everywhere I go and I love writing songs from time to time. These are all of the things I love doing. If you enjoy doing something, do it. Don’t let anyone tell you you’re weird because you like doing something that they don’t. You’re not weird. You’re unique and special and God created you the way you were supposed to be created. Find your passions and go for it. :)

8. “All you’ve ever wanted is on the other side of fear.” This is definitely one of my favorite quotes. If you really think about it, it makes so much sense. Many times we want to do something, but we don’t do it for two reasons: either we are lazy or we are scared. There’s a great lyric from an Andy Mineo rap (haha) that says “fear kills more dreams than failure.” It couldn’t be more true. Don’t let fear hold you back from all that God has called you to do. Your purpose and destiny is far greater than that. I know it’s much easier said than done and I’m definitely still learning this one, but we must trust in God. Plus, He hasn’t given us “a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and a sound mind.” (2 Timothy 1:7) Take that leap of faith and face fear head on. You never know what incredible things you’ll discover on the other side. :)

9. If you feel you should do something, do it before it’s too late. I learned this one the hard way. I don’t want to go into much detail because it’s very personal, but let’s just say - for weeks (maybe even months) I felt a tug on my heart to do something, but I put it off and before I knew it, it was too late. I will never get that opportunity back again and it will haunt me for the rest of my life. I know that it was God and I should have listened to Him. I just want to encourage you that if you feel a nudge at your heart to do something, please do it before it’s too late. Don’t procrastinate. Do it now and you will never have to live with regrets!

10. People’s opinions about you don’t determine who you are. This is a difficult one to learn because it’s easy to get caught up in what man thinks of you, rather than your Heavenly Father. So many of us start to believe this lie that our value comes from our appearance, how many likes/followers we can get on instagram, or even our grades in school. I know I struggle with these things from time to time and if you don’t, then you are very blessed! But the truth is, what people say about us and the numbers we see on our screens do not define who we are. The love and grace of God defines who we are. And we are His children; sons and daughters of a great King. Don’t forget that! You are “fearfully and wonderfully made.” :) (Psalm 139:14)

11. Surrender your will and plans to God. Often times we love to plan out our future (or at least I do). I dream of so many things that I’d like to do or that I’d love to happen, but the truth is, we can plan all day, but for the most part, things will never work out the way that we intended them to. That’s why we have to give everything to God and live in the moment. In Proverbs 16:9, it says, “We can make our plans, but the Lord determines our steps.” You see, God is in control of the whole universe. He holds our lives and our future in His hands. If we surrender all of our plans into the hands of God, He will work them out for our good. Our plans will turn out better than we could have ever dreamed up on our own because the One that created us is in charge of it all. When you think of it that way, it lightens your load a little bit, doesn’t it? You don’t have to worry about the future because it’s God that guides us and determines where we should go. He has your best interest at heart and He’ll get you to where you need to be in His perfect timing. 

Another good Bible verse is Proverbs 16:3, “Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and He will establish your plans.” 

12. When you get what you’ve been praying for (and wishing for), don’t ever take it for granted. During the time that I was brainstorming a list of the 20 things I’ve learned by the age of 20, I had a dream. In this dream, a prayer was answered that I’ve been praying for quite some time and I remember writing down “when you get what you’ve been praying for, don’t ever take it for granted.” Obviously, it hasn’t happened yet, but when it does I’ll be sure to remember this one. I began thinking of how this could currently relate to my life and I realized there are many prayers that God has answered for me. It’s sometimes easy to forget to be thankful long after God answers our prayer, but we should always remember to do just that. There was a season in my life when I couldn’t drive to my church because I was scared and inexperienced, but I wanted to be able to so badly. Throughout that season, I prayed and prayed about it and it took patience and some things changing in my life, but in time, God answered that prayer. I remember all the nights I was upset because I couldn’t be at the young adult services. Now I’m driving there every Sunday night. Sometimes it can be mundane for me, going every single week, but I constantly have to click back and remind myself that at one point this is something I really prayed for and now I get to live it out. There was also a time in my life - right after I graduated high school - where I really didn’t have any friends to hang out with. Pretty much everyone moved away for college and I was left at home by myself. I began praying for God to bring friends into my life that were good for me and sure enough, in time, He did. Now I have many friends and I never take them for granted. Every person in my life is a blessing to me! So when God answers that prayer that you’ve been praying for, for a long time, don’t forget to continually thank Him for it. :)

13. Always treat others how you would want to be treated. This is something that my mom has always taught my sister and I. In the Bible, it says “do to others whatever you would like them to do to you.” (Matthew 7:12) - it’s the golden rule and something to always live by. I try to be kind to others because I know how it feels when someone is rude to you. I’ve experienced it many times and I never want someone else to feel that feeling. I truly believe that you should treat others equally, no matter who they are - a celebrity or a custodian. God loves them just the same and you should love them, too. This world is already full of negative, hateful people and we need more kind ones full of love. In the wise words of Ed Sheeran, “Love could change the world in a moment.” (from the song: What Do I Know) 

14. God has big plans for you and I. “For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord. ‘They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.” (Jeremiah 29:11) That’s a very popular Bible verse and many of us have heard it tons of times, but sometimes we don’t really think about it or even believe it. Well, let me tell you, it’s completely true. It doesn’t matter how old you are, whether you’re 12, 17, 36, 55, or 80 years old, God has a plan specifically for you and He wants to use YOU to bring His love and word to people. You were placed on this earth at this time for a reason - just as it says in Esther 4:14, “perhaps this is the moment you were created for.” Isn’t it beautiful to think that God could have put you in any time period but He chose to put you in this specific one? That means you have a gift or a talent to use right now to reach people all over the world. Trust and believe that He has wonderful plans for you, if you just give Him a chance and let Him use your heart.

15. Even if God doesn’t answer our prayers, We should still continue to seek Him. This is something that one of my pastors at church, Pastor Nick, preached about a couple of weeks ago. He spoke of the story in the Bible about Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego. If you don’t know the story, I’ll sum it up for you quickly: basically King Nebuchadnezzar wanted these three boys (and everyone whom he ruled over) to worship his golden statue and if they didn’t, he would throw them into a blazing furnace. Well, Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego worshipped God and they weren’t going to bow down to anyone else. They told the king: “If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God whom we serve is able to save us. He will rescue us from your power, Your Majesty. But EVEN IF he doesn’t, we want to make it clear to you, Your Majesty, that we will never serve your gods or worship the golden statue you have set up.” (Daniel 3:17-18) That takes faith to say something like that. The ending is a happy one though; King Nebuchadnezzar ordered some of his men to throw them into the furnace. But God didn’t let them die. Suddenly, King Nebuchadnezzar looked at the furnace in amazement, watching FOUR men walk around in the fire, unharmed and one of them was the Son of God. It took a lot of courage for those three boys to say that even if God didn’t rescue them from the fire, they would still serve Him and only Him. Often times we pray for certain things and when God doesn’t answer them or it doesn’t go our way, we give up on Him or we become angry and bitter. I’ll be completely honest with you: I did this years ago when I was younger, naive, and immature. Something that I prayed for and wanted for so long did not come to me and when I realized I wasn’t going to get it, I gave up on God. I told Him, “I still believe in You but I just don’t know if I want to continue following You.” Obviously that did not last long because God’s grace and love always beckons you back in (and what I thought I wanted God knew it wasn’t His best for me). I’m a different person now than I was then, but I tell you this to make a point: often we view God as a magic genie that’s just going to grant our wishes but He is much more than that. He wants a relationship with us. Pastor Nick said this and it changed my heart forever: “You didn’t start following Jesus so that He could give you everything you want. You started following Him so that you could just be with Him.” It’s changed my perspective and opened my eyes a little wider to the idea that He just wants me to be in His presence and love Him. So even if I never get married, even if I never have children, even if I never build my dream house that I’ve been dreaming of for so long, even if the songs I write never see the light of day, and even if I never write that book, I will STILL seek the One that rescued me, the One that gives me grace, and the One that loves me because He just wants me to be with Him.

16. Patience. Honestly, this is one that I’m still working on and probably will always be working on. I’m apart of a generation that wants everything now and if they can’t have it now, they get annoyed and antsy. This is the age of the internet where you can get all the information that you want right at your fingertips and you can order something and it will be at your house in no time. These are the days of “no waiting.” But when you want God’s best for your life and you desire the things that He wants, you will almost always have to wait. I’ve heard this saying many times: “God’s timing is not a microwave. It’s a crockpot.” And that couldn’t be more true. In this time of waiting on the dreams God has placed in my heart, He is teaching me to be patient and trust in His perfect timing. It’s not easy. There are many restless nights where I have to ask God for His strength and peace because my heart gets weary, but I know it’s all for the best. Patience makes you appreciate the prayer more when He decides to answer it because you had to wait for it. It also allows you to draw closer to Him while you are waiting and that’s a beautiful thing.

17. You should always be growing. And I don’t mean in the physical sense. I’m talking about mentally. I love this concept that we always have room to grow; we’re never the absolute best versions of ourselves, but we’re always striving to be just that. I’m human, I’m not perfect in anyway, I’ve made many mistakes in the past, and I will continue to make mistakes. But I love the idea of learning from them and becoming a better person. I love learning in general - about myself, about new things - and I’m entering into my 20s, a new chapter in my life! I’m so excited to learn about who God wants me to be and where He wants me to go and to just continue growing in my faith and becoming a kinder person. :)

18. Have manners. This one may seem a little insignificant compared to the others, but it means a lot to me. My parents have raised me to always say “thank you”, “no thank you”, “yes ma'am/sir”, “no ma'am/sir” and to just be polite all around. I’m definitely going to raise my children to do the same as well. :)

19. Nothing else will fulfill you like the One that created you. I’ve wrote a blog on this before called “Jesus is the Something More You’ve Been Looking For” if you want to check it out. I don’t want to repeat myself, but in the past, I have searched for things to fill my heart that couldn’t do that. Many days I’d feel depressed and anxious for no reason. It wasn’t until I realized that God was the only One who could fulfill my heart because He created it. I like to imagine that we all have a “God-shaped” hole in our heart and every time we turn to worldly things such as money, alcohol, drugs, sex, or even people to fulfill it - it just goes straight through. But when we choose to pursue God, we find that He fills it up and we no longer will feel empty inside.

20. God loves you. This seems like a given one, seeing as I’ve been a Christian my whole life but I didn’t truly believe that God loved me unconditionally, until a few years ago. Growing up, we went to many churches and I sort of had this perception of religion and God as an exchange - “I do this for you and then you love me in return.” But the truth couldn’t be farther from that. The truth is, God loves us no matter what. He doesn't want anything from us except a relationship. Religion makes you think that you must do something in order to earn God’s love and grace, but He gives it freely if you just believe in Him and accept His son, Jesus Christ, into your heart. You don’t have to work for His unconditional love or His grace. I used to think that, so when I messed up, I would automatically think God doesn’t love me anymore or He’d rather not use me for His plans. That’s a lie that Satan whispers to you. When you make a mistake, you ask for God’s forgiveness and get back up. Let His wonderful grace wash over you and keep going. But that doesn’t mean you should take advantage of the grace He gives to you. You should strive to do things that honor Him; things that are pure and good. But there is nothing you can do to make God love you more. He already loves you, in this very moment - whether you just made a mistake or didn’t. He wants you just the way you are. You are enough. And He will never stop loving you.