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samgirl98 · 1 year ago

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Mending a Family 9/?

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Dick knows I know about you. Don’t worry, your secret is safe with me, but I don’t think they’ll ever give up.

Jason put away his phone; he would think about that later. Right now, he wanted to give Jazz all his attention and know what happened to make Danny a cute five-year-old.

“I don’t know how much you know about Danny’s and mine biological parents,” she trailed off while rocking Ellie.

“I heard enough,” Jason answered while Danny said, “Almost everything. Except how I got de-aged ‘cuz even I don’t know or the few days leading up to that.”

Jazz nodded, “good, that’ll make things easier.”

Jazz put a now asleep Ellie on the rocker and looked at Jason and Danny. They were sitting in their new living room. Jason had chosen a little house with the closest neighbor two miles away. They were still in the woods but twenty minutes from a little town with schools, a library, and a general store. Would it be easier to disappear in a city? Maybe. But Danny wouldn’t be able to use his powers as well in the city.

Plus, it’d be easier to avoid Oracle, too.

“Mom and dad were supposed to be out of the house that weekend. They were going to test a new invention. The Fenton Demoleculizer. It was supposed to tear ghosts apart ‘molecule by molecule,’ as they liked to say. It didn’t work that way.”

“Things rarely do,” Danny chirped.

Jazz sighed.

“Ellie had come that weekend to visit. They both took down a ghost and returned them to the Ghost Zone.”

“Stupid Skulker,” Danny added.

“Mom and dad caught them both transforming. They didn’t hesitate; they shot Danny first. Thankfully, I had come down the basement when mom shot Danny. If it had been dad, well, let’s say he’s a horrible shot. Thankfully, the Demoleculizer didn’t work how it was supposed to and only de-aged Danny.”

Jazz sighed and rubbed her eye.

“I was able to get Danny and throw him through the portal, which is how I assume he ended up with you. Mom and dad were furious and thought I was overshadowed. They were ranting about how they didn’t notice their baby boy was dead and were tricked by a filthy ghost. There was no talking to them.”

“In the chaos, Ellie got hit with the Demoleculizer, too. I knew there was no going back at that point, so I got her and went through the portal. Those few minutes must’ve been days here, though, because, well, you know, we didn’t land at the same place or time that Danny had.”

Silence reigned as they all digested what Jazz had said. Jason couldn’t believe any parent would turn against their child that way.

But then again, Sheila did the same to me, he thought.

“So now what,” Jazz asked, “we can’t mooch off you forever, Jason. As much as I appreciate what you’ve done, it isn’t fair that you have to feed three extra mouths now and leave your old haunt for Danny.”

“Whoa, hey, it’s no trouble to me at all. Besides, I already think of Danny as my kid, and parents are there to care for their kids.”

Jason took a deep breath, “Besides, I wasn’t in a good place before Danny. I won’t lie to you guys; I’m not a good guy. I’ve—I’ve killed before; I’ve hurt my family. If anything, I would understand if you guys don’t want to be around me.”

“When you said you’ve killed, have you ever killed innocent people or…?” Jazz left the question hanging.

Jason shook his head and told his story of how he had been killed and returned to life. The Lazarus Pit and League of Assassins were hard to get through, but Danny and Jazz deserved the truth. He told them about his return to Gotham and how he set up a criminal empire. (One that he abandoned for Danny.) He mentioned Titan Towers and his so-called revenge against Tim. He told them all his sins.

Jason turned to Danny, “Do you understand now, Danny-lad, I deserve their anger.”

Danny got up and hugged Jason tight, “You came back angry. It’s not your fault, either.”

“While I’m not too glad to hear about the killings, I understand why you did it. Besides, you’ve left that behind, and you’re taking care of Danny. I’m not here to judge but to take care of my baby brother and sister. And you, Jason, have taken in Danny and protected him. Not many people would do that. So, for that, I thank you.”

Jason almost felt like crying. The Fentons didn’t judge him, and they didn’t refuse to give him their love and forgiveness. Jason felt like he belonged to a family for the first time in a long time.

“Now, it’s time we redecorated. Isn’t that right, big brother?” Jazz asked with a smile.

____

Tim had been able to follow the cold anomaly north. It had disappeared somewhere in Vermont.

“What do you think it is,” Tim asked Barbara.

“I don’t know, but do you think it’s related to Jason disappearing?”

“It’s too much of a coincidence for it not to be.”

“Hmm,” Barbara hummed, “I’m going to set it up for the program to look for this anomaly in Canada. It has disappeared in the continental US; Canada is the only logical conclusion.”

“Should I tell Bruce?”

Barbara sighed, “Let’s give it a few more days and see if anything new comes up. If it doesn’t, we will have to tell him about it, but let him come up with his conclusions. If anything new shows up and leads to Jason, I suggest we observe him first instead of getting the whole family descending on him.”

“What, why?” Tim asked incredulously.

There was silence on the other side.

“Why, Barbara?”

“Tim, Jason left for a reason. There are no signs of struggles, and he took everything he had; he doesn’t want to be found by us. Shouldn’t we honor his wishes?”

“But everyone misses him. Bruce is going crazy looking for him.”

“I love Bruce, but he’s a hypocrite. He ignored Jason when he was right next door, and now that he’s gone, he wants him back. It sounds like he just wants some control, like usual,” Barbara said angrily.

“But Dick is also,” Barbara interrupted him.

“Dick isn’t much better. Look, I love everyone, but how we’ve treated Jason,” she sighed. “If he’s just living his life and not killing people, then I see no reason to make him miserable.”

“If that’s how you feel, why are you helping me look for him?” Tim couldn’t help but ask.

“Because I’m a hypocrite, too.”

Then she hung up.

Dick knows I know about you. Don’t worry, your secret is safe with me, but I don’t think they’ll ever give up.

Jason put away his phone; he would think about that later. Right now, he wanted to give Jazz all his attention and know what happened to make Danny a cute five-year-old.

“I don’t know how much you know about Danny’s and mine biological parents,” she trailed off while rocking Ellie.

“I heard enough,” Jason answered while Danny said, “Almost everything. Except how I got de-aged ‘cuz even I don’t know or the few days leading up to that.”

Jazz nodded, “good, that’ll make things easier.”

Plus, it’d be easier to avoid Oracle, too.

“Things rarely do,” Danny chirped.

Jazz sighed.

“Ellie had come that weekend to visit. They both took down a ghost and returned them to the Ghost Zone.”

“Stupid Skulker,” Danny added.

Jazz sighed and rubbed her eye.

Silence reigned as they all digested what Jazz had said. Jason couldn’t believe any parent would turn against their child that way.

But then again, Sheila did the same to me, he thought.

“Whoa, hey, it’s no trouble to me at all. Besides, I already think of Danny as my kid, and parents are there to care for their kids.”

“When you said you’ve killed, have you ever killed innocent people or…?” Jazz left the question hanging.

Jason turned to Danny, “Do you understand now, Danny-lad, I deserve their anger.”

Danny got up and hugged Jason tight, “You came back angry. It’s not your fault, either.”

“Now, it’s time we redecorated. Isn’t that right, big brother?” Jazz asked with a smile.

____

Tim had been able to follow the cold anomaly north. It had disappeared somewhere in Vermont.

“What do you think it is,” Tim asked Barbara.

“I don’t know, but do you think it’s related to Jason disappearing?”

“It’s too much of a coincidence for it not to be.”

“Hmm,” Barbara hummed, “I’m going to set it up for the program to look for this anomaly in Canada. It has disappeared in the continental US; Canada is the only logical conclusion.”

“Should I tell Bruce?”

“What, why?” Tim asked incredulously.

There was silence on the other side.

“Why, Barbara?”

“Tim, Jason left for a reason. There are no signs of struggles, and he took everything he had; he doesn’t want to be found by us. Shouldn’t we honor his wishes?”

“But everyone misses him. Bruce is going crazy looking for him.”

“But Dick is also,” Barbara interrupted him.

“If that’s how you feel, why are you helping me look for him?” Tim couldn’t help but ask.

“Because I’m a hypocrite, too.”

Then she hung up.

Dick knows I know about you. Don’t worry, your secret is safe with me, but I don’t think they’ll ever give up.

Jason put away his phone; he would think about that later. Right now, he wanted to give Jazz all his attention and know what happened to make Danny a cute five-year-old.

“I don’t know how much you know about Danny’s and mine biological parents,” she trailed off while rocking Ellie.

“I heard enough,” Jason answered while Danny said, “Almost everything. Except how I got de-aged ‘cuz even I don’t know or the few days leading up to that.”

Jazz nodded, “good, that’ll make things easier.”

Plus, it’d be easier to avoid Oracle, too.

“Things rarely do,” Danny chirped.

Jazz sighed.

“Ellie had come that weekend to visit. They both took down a ghost and returned them to the Ghost Zone.”

“Stupid Skulker,” Danny added.

Jazz sighed and rubbed her eye.

Silence reigned as they all digested what Jazz had said. Jason couldn’t believe any parent would turn against their child that way.

But then again, Sheila did the same to me, he thought.

“Whoa, hey, it’s no trouble to me at all. Besides, I already think of Danny as my kid, and parents are there to care for their kids.”

“When you said you’ve killed, have you ever killed innocent people or…?” Jazz left the question hanging.

Jason turned to Danny, “Do you understand now, Danny-lad, I deserve their anger.”

Danny got up and hugged Jason tight, “You came back angry. It’s not your fault, either.”

“Now, it’s time we redecorated. Isn’t that right, big brother?” Jazz asked with a smile.

____

Tim had been able to follow the cold anomaly north. It had disappeared somewhere in Vermont.

“What do you think it is,” Tim asked Barbara.

“I don’t know, but do you think it’s related to Jason disappearing?”

“It’s too much of a coincidence for it not to be.”

“Hmm,” Barbara hummed, “I’m going to set it up for the program to look for this anomaly in Canada. It has disappeared in the continental US; Canada is the only logical conclusion.”

“Should I tell Bruce?”

“What, why?” Tim asked incredulously.

There was silence on the other side.

“Why, Barbara?”

“Tim, Jason left for a reason. There are no signs of struggles, and he took everything he had; he doesn’t want to be found by us. Shouldn’t we honor his wishes?”

“But everyone misses him. Bruce is going crazy looking for him.”

“But Dick is also,” Barbara interrupted him.

“If that’s how you feel, why are you helping me look for him?” Tim couldn’t help but ask.

“Because I’m a hypocrite, too.”

Then she hung up.

So I don't know yet if I'm going to make that Barbara would help Jason from time to time and actually talked to him (kind of like how she helped him during the Cheers story line) or if she should also be one of the ones who ignored Jason. I'll think it through.

@idontgetpaidenoughforthisshit @skulld3mort-1fan @theauthorandtheartist @emergentpanda-blog @jaggedheart11 @fisticuffsatapplebees @booberrylizard @fantasticbluebirdfan @thegatorsgooseoose @cyrwrites @kjoboo91 @crystallicedart @amaramizuki666 @spekulatiusmuffin @meira-3919 @kilasmess @bubblemixer @lexdamo @wonderland-daisy @mj-arts-n-stuff @amyheart19 @dolfay @the-church-grimm @undead-essence @aph-mable @lizisipancardo @purrloin77 @writer-extraodinaire @charlietheepic7 @sinfulloccultist @nootherusernameworked @coruscateselene @chaoticchange @itsberrydreemurstuff @gmkelz11 @feral-bunny31 @paroovian @thatonegaybitch68 @d4ydr34min9 @overtherose @fandomwandererer @vipower001 @thordottir45 @blackrabbitt3t @rosecinnamonbun @bianca-hooks123 @epilepticnerd @dat1angel @consouling @flamingenchiladadragon

#mending a family #dc x dp #dp x dc

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wrestlersownmyheart · 1 year ago

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Hi. I love your stories. I have an idea for a ficlet. I would love one where Randy Orton and the reader go to a haunted house and he protects the reader from all the Scary things

Aww thank you so much sis! Hope you enjoy what I did! 🙂

Title: Haunted House Pairing: Randy Orton X Reader Summary: You and Randy decide to visit a Haunted House on Halloween night and you get so spooked he has to protect you. Disclaimers: I own nothing or anyone associated or affiliated with WWE. I own only the original characters. This is just a fictional story that came from my imagination. Content/Trigger Warnings: None. Just fluff and an attempt at comedy.

NOTE: I have never done a Haunted House before, so bear with me. I hope I did this correctly.

Haunted House

“I don’t know about this,” you said, taking Randy Orton’s large hand. “I’ve never been in a haunted house before, Randy.”

“Oh, come on, Y/N,” Randy coaxed, his bright blue eyes flashing. “It’ll be fun. Besides, you can’t go to a Halloween carnival without visiting the haunted house.”

You were both dressed up for Halloween as Han Solo and Princess Leia from the Return of the Jedi. Your costume was complete with the golden bikini and a super long clip in braid.

“Yeah but they say this house is actually haunted,” you argued. “Like, for real. That’s like deciding to pay the Amityville house a visit! Are you crazy??”

Randy chuckled, and brought your hand to his mouth, kissing it softly. “Why so scared? I’ll protect you.”

“I don’t doubt you’d try,” you replied, “But how are you going to protect me from a ghost, or worse, a poltergeist?”

He chuckled again and led you up the walkway toward the house. “It’ll be fine. If it gets too bad, we’ll find the nearest emergency exit and leave. Deal?”

You nodded reluctantly, “O-okay.”

You went through the, what used to be, white gate of the picket fence which framed the large yard and walked toward the front door. A small group of teenage girls were behind you, already giggling hysterically.

“Somehow, I think if we’re stuck in front of them the whole time, I’m gonna be ready to climb the walls before this is over,” you remarked, with a roll of your eyes.

“Don’t worry, they’ll be more quiet when they get scared,” Randy chuckled deviously. “And I can always scare them worse than this house would.”

You nodded your agreement with a soft hum of approval.

He was telling the truth. Randy was an insanely attractive man, but he could definitely turn into a scary lunatic when he wanted to–usually when he was wrestling or filming a segment for the WWE.

You stepped up to the first step of the porch, and–

“ROAAAR!!” A Freddy Krueger leapt out from behind the open front door.

At the same time, you jumped out of your skin and your hand shot to your chest as the teenagers squealed, and Randy laughed aloud.

“This is gonna be fun,” he exclaimed.

“If you say so,” you said under your breath.

You both stepped into the house, followed by the annoying teenage girls, and you were already cringing when a goblin flew by your face, shrieking in laughter, it’s ragged clothing brushing across your cheek.

“It’s just a bunch of jump-scares,” you griped to Randy. “Can’t we just forget about this?”

“Once you enter, you don’t exit,” came the killer’s voice from the Scream films. Right behind you. You turned and immediately screamed at seeing Ghostface run at you.

“How the heck did he hear me,” you demanded. “I wasn’t talking that loud. Randy, this is freaky.”

“Relax, babe, it’s just part of the show,” Randy said, leading you forward. “I won’t let anything touch you.”

“Okay,” you agreed reluctantly, letting him take your hand and lead you further into the house.

You both turned down a hallway and immediately heard a door slam in the near distance followed by a woman’s scream. You couldn’t decide if it was sound effects or if the “for real” haunted house was beginning to show its true colors.

That thought nearly sent you into a panic. “Randy, I really want out of here. Please.”

“Okay, baby, we can leave,” Randy said, turning you toward the way you’d just come. He affectionately squeezed your shoulders. “We’ll go back out the front door since we already know what is lurking there.”

You nodded as he led you, and you immediately felt bad. “I’m sorry. I know you wanted to do this.”

“No worries, babe. It’s not a big deal. I just thought since you’d never been to one that it’d be fun for you. If it’s scaring you that bad I don’t want you to do it either.”

“Sir,” an authoritative voice said from behind the two of you. You turned and saw that “Freddy Krueger” was acting as hall monitor, so to speak. “Sir, you’re not allowed to leave back through the front door. I’m afraid you have to go through the remaining haunted house to get to the actual exit.

“Please,” you started. “I’m freaked out and I just want out of here.”

“There’s only a couple of hallways to get through ma`am.”

It was surreal for Freddy Krueger to be speaking so politely to you. But polite or not you wanted out of this house and you wanted out now.

“I don’t care. I’m not going and you can’t make me,” you said feeling childish, but nonetheless justified.

“Ma`am…”

“Look, Freddy,” Randy started sarcastically, popping his knuckles and clearly losing his patience. “We’re going out the front door. If you don’t like that, I don’t think there’s a lot you can do about it.”

“I can stop you from going through the door.”

Freddy was getting pretty snarky.

“And I can slap the taste out of your pizza-faced mouth,” you said in retaliation.

“Now listen,” Freddy started, pointing his finger blade at you. “I-”

“Don’t you dare point that blade at me,” you cried indignantly. You let loose and slapped him across the face.

“HEY!” Freddy was suddenly angry and latched onto your arm with his gloved hand.

“OW,” You cried, as the metal of the glove dug into your skin. The blades were thankfully dulled down to where it didn’t actually cut you, but it still hurt.

“Okay, that’s it,” Randy said a second before driving his fist into Freddy’s face.

Freddy was down for the count.

“Come on, let’s get out of here,” Randy said, taking your hand and heading for the front door.

You both hurried through the door and were instantly out in the cool night air.

“Thank you, baby,” you said softly as you walked away from the house and headed out of the carnival toward Randy’s car.

“No one's gonna put their hands on you on my watch,” he said, as he walked you to the passenger’s side of the large SUV. “No one.”

He opened the door for you and helped you into the seat, before gently closing the door again. Then he was jogging around to the driver’s side and getting in himself.

“I love you, Randy.”

He looked over at you and smiled. “I love you too.” His dimples appeared then. “In fact I was going to do this after the haunted house, but Freddy screwed it up,” he chuckled, pulling a velvet box out of his costume’s pocket. He opened the box to reveal a diamond ring. “Y/N… Would you marry me?”

“Oh my God, Randy! Yes!” You squealed the words and latched onto him kissing him passionately. “Yes,” you said again, as he placed the ring on your finger.

“I’m glad.” He said, reaching over and kissing you softly. “You’ve just made me the happiest man on earth.” He started the car as you admired your ring.

“And you’ve made me the happiest woman on earth,” you replied, gazing at him. “Let’s go home and celebrate,” he said with a wink.

THE END

If you want on my tag list, just ask! 😃

Tagging:

@oreillystolemyheart @lookalivesunshine-x @shortyiceheart @vebner37 @claymorexpunisher @kalliravenne @swamptrashwithasideofsass @beardedbarba @emisrose @sweetpea-1970 @sassymox @pikapuff-316 @heavymetalgirl420 @bigpsychicbagelauthor @darktammy @waywardwrestlewritingwaif @sultryfandoms @blondekel77 @demonqueen29 @amariemoore @letsgivethisonemoreshot @thelastemzy @springgirlwaiting4fall @vampirepixi @wwenhlimagines @louisianalady @swthrt890 @librathepheonix13 @justanerdwholikestoread @kiwiedge @ironshamelessyouth @1234ilikecowsthanyoumore @moonwolfdemonprincess21 @moxkindagirl @jstarr86 @oliviasinematic @southerngirl41 @claymoresofinfamy23

#Randy Orton #randy orton x reader #randy orton imagine #randy orton fan fic #randy orton fanfiction

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mopillow · 1 year ago

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Better stick to math

I need to clear the notes from my phone so bear with me while I dump my trash fanfics, please note that I never finished a single one since I don’t know how to write and they’re done while I wait for my coworkers to finish their part…

Costco cake

-Hey let’s check that place around the corner- this was the only place they haven’t tried, he was starving but at the very least he didn’t get upset unlike HT who invoked demons every time he was hungry, JY was getting tired of this living situation, how long does it takes for an apartment to get fixed after the kitchen caught fire??? It wasn’t his fault on the first place he just asked for popcorn, who knew HT can almost burn the building down preparing popcorn?? Not him for sure… it doesn’t matter anymore, he needs to focus on finding food, and it has to be fast because HT is looking dangerous right now -I heard wonderful things about it-

-are you seriously suggesting to eat from a place that looks haunted?? I’m pretty sure is a paradise for health violations- HT was really picky for a person who can’t even boil water but he was hungry and maybe that place is run by ghouls but is open and is close, at this hour they’ll be lucky to get pizza but eating that for two days in a row is no good for him so m*rder alley it is -they better be good JY… ok what’s the phone number?-

-hmmm yeah about that we need to go over there and leave our order in a box and then they deliver the food-

-… so you want me to walk all the way over there to order my food all that while avoiding getting murdered in the process-

-come on HT, who would try to attack you? Me yes, i look harmless but you? No, no way, nobody is going to do … ow ow ow, stop, do you want to go or do you want me to cook something??-

-let me grab my wallet-

-it’s cash only-

-ofc is cash only, why would they take any other kind of payment, they don’t even have a phone-

…

-are you gonna finish that?-

-yes HT I’m gonna finish my food, could you stop licking your plate for a second and help me find out if he has a special someone? Ask He Cheng, I don’t care, I just want to know if I have a chance-

-what do I win with that? I don’t want you to creep him out and then I won’t be able to order any more food-

- can’t you see that I just met the love of my life? I would do it for you

- Jian Yi do you think I need your help to get anyone??? Don’t you dare to ruin this for me, I have never tasted anything so delicious in my life…now if you want to keep talking just give me the rest of your food and I’ll listen-

- I’ll give you my food if you help me-

- … if you ruin this for me you’re going to pay-

- I thought you were too fancy for a place like that-

- I don’t know what you’re talking about, are you gonna give me the food or not?-

- Promise me that you’re going to help me HT

- I promise, now give me the food-

He should have put more attention, he should have grabbed that plate like if it was the most precious jewel but now it was too late, the food was all over the floor and if HT was a pain when hungry he was even worse when he didn’t had what he wanted, now he just need to run for his life and try to get more food for this devil.

…

He definitely wasn’t lucky the place was closed by the time he got there, curse his bad luck, now what he’s gonna tell HT? How can he get out of this problem

-hey-

Damn now he’s really in trouble, out of nowhere came this guy who looks like trouble, is this the way he’s going to die? He just found love, life can’t be this horrible

-I said we’re closed, but you can come tomorrow morning, the menu changes for breakfast but is just open for 3 hours-

Wait a second, why is he not getting murdered? Does this guy also works here?? Maybe he knows the love of his life

-can I ask you a question?

-you already did, you’re not here for the food?… are you here for something else?- JY didn’t knew what to say, he was here for the food but he was also going to take the opportunity to ask about that delivery guy that he saw not so long ago - look leave him alone, ZZX is just kind to everyone, is not like you’re special you fucking creep- ok it’s time to snap out of it, this guy looks dangerous - no no I just wanted to congratulate the chef, I wanted to ask if you knew him- JY was covering his face with his arms, why is this guy trying to hit him just because he wanted to ask about the delivery guy

MGS stoped his fist and just looked at the floor, no one ever tried to congratulate him, he wasn’t a chef yet but he wanted to be one, he was about to punch this guy and turns out that he came all the way here to compliment his food, just like that someone smacked the back of his head - you need to be nicer with our clients Mo, this is exactly why we only deliver food instead of open the restaurant like we were supposed to-

…

I don’t think I’ll ever finish any but if you guys have any ideas I may try to do a better job in the future

#fanfics i’m never going to write #if you see that title you can skip the trash I write #that’s what my hs career counselor told me #honestly he did it for my own good

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autumnrevisited · 2 years ago

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Interview with Geoff Rickly about No Devotion and No Oblivion by Gen Handley for issue 64 of New Noise, Sep. 2022.

full text under cut

“It’s like a blessing and a curse,” explains Geoff Rickly, smiling on the Zoom window a bit sadly. “When you really love an album, you can’t wait for people to hear it… but (you’re) also set up to have your heart broken because they won’t love it as much as you do.”

“Right now, to me, it’s my favorite record in the world,” he continues. “But soon it’ll come out, and for some people, it’ll just be a blip, and (they’ll) think it’s not for me, and that’s how it is.”

The record in discussion at the moment is the second, unexpected album from No Devotion, a band that emerged from the ashes of horrible tragedy and released my favorite album of 2015. And not to stomp on Rickly’s genuine humility, but No Oblivion is much more than a blip for some, an album that many people did not think would ever get made, Rickly included. The fire reignited when guitarist Stu Richardson sent Rickly a demo for their rousing, intense first single, “Starlings.”

“I was obsessed with it,” he recalls. “I didn’t’ think I was going to do anything with it, but whenever it rained, and I’d take a cab—when people were still taking cabs in New York—I’d put it on in the back of the cab and think, ‘This is the kind of music I wish I was making right now.’”

They ruminated various plans for the song, but ultimately decided that it should be a No Devotion song after the magic they felt when they played it with guitarist Lee Gaze.

“We thought, maybe we’re not done with No Devotion yet,” Rickly says, shrugging with a big smile.

The haunting result is a refined collection of eight harmonious songs that returns to the art of the album where every single song is there, in that spot, and in that order, for a very good reason that was discussed at length.

But most importantly, it’s the first album, in nearly 30 years as an artist, that Rickly has been sober and made a piece of work with vulnerability and cobalt beauty aching from every line sang by the shadowy artist whose voice has never sounded stronger, more gripping. This is from an artist who already captivates listeners and audiences around the world, an insatiable creator whose beautiful words and melodies and screams have gotten many of a sufferer through dark times—myself included.

And while they wrote much more than eight tracks for their second record, No Devotion kept returning the original songs which were created during an intense two-week flurry of creativity when the trio reunited. (There’s also a record’s worth of 10 songs that he “loves” but kept off of No Oblivion and is still deciding what their fate will be.)

“We thought it was a really short record, but every song we added would throw off the balance… making it too long and too dark, or if we brightened it up with a big pop song like from the first record (Permanence), it didn’t fit and kind of ruined the mood.”

Rickly is mostly known for his visionary work in Thursday who is still playing shows, but not ready to create new music.

“The reason I think No Devotion kept going is because Stu and Lee and I have this really intense ability to know what each other’s thinking and push in the same direction for a song—it makes writing a real pleasure,” he says. “With Thursday, we all see it going in different directions and writing a song is like a street fight. Every single time.”

He laughs.

“So the fact that Thursday is working at all right now and playing shows and having fun and loving each other and getting along, is such a newer development,” he admits. “I wish I was joking. We all love each other, which is the crazy thing.”

What’s behind the album title and the second track, “No Oblivion” come from?

Well, we had this song first and I think a lot about this band in visual terms—for every song, there’s different projections, and I think there’s going to be a video for every song on this record… My partner’s a director, so we work on a lot of stuff together. I was thinking about how much I would love to have a song that’s just a list… a list of “nos” and see how that played out.

So that was how the song came about, and we kept on playing with versions of the album cover that were just the words for the No Oblivion song, and the graphic designer mentioned why “No Oblivion” works so well typographically is because it’s the same number of letters as No Devotion, the band name, so all there were all sorts of possibilities that opened up; we thought maybe we shouldn’t keep it as the cover art and make it the name of the record. Then we thought about what the title No Oblivion implies, and it seemed to really fit.

What does it imply for you?

A double-negative is sort of like a gesture towards the positive…so a rejection of nihilism or a rejection of death and drug use. The years before I started working on this record were pretty dark for me, and this is first music I’ve made sober. I’m almost five years in, so this a really raw experience for me.

Congratulations on five years—That’s big.

Thanks, it’s coming up in November.

Is it a lot different writing music sober? Is it harder?

I’ve heard a lot of people talk about how it’s harder to let go, but I found it to be quite the opposite for me—That for me it’s harder to reign it in. I’m feeling a lot more clearly, and I have to be careful about sculpting them into something that’s art and not just an outpouring of feeling.

We do want our art to have artifice because that’s where you lose yourself in it. There’s this idea that’s become popular in culture: for the performer to use masks so that they can lose themselves and become who they really are. I think there’s a certain element of that in lyrics and songwriting… if you can use a device or structure or something that makes it not just your incredibly specific life experience, then not only can the listener find themselves more clearly in the emotional experience—because it’s more oblique and they can find an entry point—but as a singer and as an artist, you can find yourself more clearly in it.

When we try to say exactly how we feel, I think it’s very easy to misrepresent ourselves. Whereas if we try to make it a little more oblique, then it finds us through a more subconscious route… I think, quite often, it is much more honest than being honest.

With this honesty and your sobriety, how therapeutic was making this record for you?

The most therapeutic thing for me since I got sober is being of service to people… so sponsoring other guys, setting up chairs. A lot of the most mundane tasks can become quite therapeutic when they’re done in service of something greater than yourself. So, I really found that to be my therapy. With (the album), I found it to be more therapeutic in the sense that in the past, I’ve always been quite self-conscious of my own ability… I’m known as a singer who’s tone deaf or can’t sing—it’s a criticism that I’ve heard for a lot of my life.

I don’t necessarily disagree, but I also recognize that there’s something that I communicate that seems to resonate with people and that’s why I’ve been able to do this for 25 years. There have been so many better singers than I am, technically, who don’t have careers and will never have careers. twenty-five years in popular music is like a unicorn. (laughs) It’s all about youth. I think it used to really eat me that I couldn’t put my finger on what it was I did, whether I was just incredibly lucky or if I actually had any talent or not. This record was a real turning point for me where I realized that I can sing; I do have talent; I do know what I’m doing… I now trust myself that I have the kind of taste that I want to hear.

I don’t expect everyone to see the world how I see it, and I don’t like stuff other people like. I’m kind of a hater. (laughs) I’m a real, old-school hater, and I don’t like that about myself but whatever—I just try not to be too much. (laughs)

This record sounds like a new beginning in a way.

Yeah, it’s basically a new band and starting from scratch. When we started Permanence, it was less of a new band because all of the artists involved had such a following, and that’s changed. It’s a different time, a different world; people aren’t waiting to see what Geoff from Thursday does next because Thursday’s still going. It’s just a whole different dynamic.

I’m just really appreciating everything I’ve been given… just being able to have a life as an artist at all. I’ve had 30-plus years of a career as musician. How many people in this capitalist world get to even have one job, regardless of it being rewarding? So I feel ok about whatever comes next.

So then are you feeling more content these days?

I don’t spend much time being content because there’s always something else I want to try, but I do feel that I’ve gotten so much more than I ever could have dreamed of.

#no devotion #no devotion band #no devotion interview #geoff rickly #geoff rickly interview #new noise #gen handley #no oblivion #starlings #repeaters #lee gaze #stu richardson #stuart richardson

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emergency-51 · 2 years ago

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Emergency! Fandom Intro

A/N: Not really an “intro” per se because I’ve been here for a while, but I found this, and I thought I’d answer a few formal introduction questions!

OP: @johnnys-green-pen ... an amazing blog that you should totally check out!

1. How’d you find this show and the fandom? How long have you been here?

My mom grew up in the 70s and Emergency! was her favorite show growing up. It inspired her so much that she’s been a paramedic pretty much all my life! I started watching Emergency! when I was like six. As far as the fandom, I just kind went searching through the tags on here and found the community!

2. What made you stick around?

I just love the people in this fandom! It’s a small community, but I love it.

3. Who’s your favorite character?

Johnny. Has been since day one.

4. Are you a shipping kind of person? If yes, what are your favorite ships?

Ehhhh. Not particularly a shipper. Platonically, though, Roy and John.

5. Favorite moment/scene/quote? Yes, you can pick more than one.

• One scene that stands out to me is when Dr. Morton is talking to the singer who overdosed on tranquilizers and she’s talking about how her career is finished and he tells her that he doesn’t believe that it is — it always touched me idk.

• Another is the episode with the big brushfire (Season 3) and Roy is talking to the wife of the fireman who got badly hurt and she says to Roy: “What’s worse than a complaining wife?” And Roy says, “A wife that doesn’t care.” — that one always makes me tear up.

• In season 2, the episode called “Seance” has a scene where they repeatedly report to a house of this couple where the wife thinks her dead sister is haunting them (I won’t get into it) but during one call, the husband asks Johnny and Roy to scope out the house and it’s always been funny to me because they’re actually scared they’ll find a ghost.

6. Do you have a favorite episode? Feel free to pick one per season if you can’t decide.

• Season 1: “Botulism”

• Season 2: “Virus”

• Season 3: “Snakebite”

• Season 4: “Smoke Eater”

• Season 5: “Involvement” and “The Nuisance” -- I couldn’t pick just one.

• Season 6: “Loose Ends”

7. Most underrated character, either among the fandom or one of the writers never utilized to their full potential?

I would say either Stoker or Morton. I know Stoker wasn’t really intended to be a main character but I just always liked him and his occasional lines/appearances. Morton I feel like had a few episodes where he really shined but I think they totally could’ve done more with him.

8. One thing you’d have liked to see more (or less) of in the show?

ROY’S PERSONAL LIFE!!!! We hear about Joanne and the kids ALL THE TIME and I think we see her like once. I would’ve loved an episode where Joanne or one of the kids are a main plot point.

9. Do you have a fanwork recommendation for us? Fic, art, video, whatever?

I wish. I hardly can find any fan work :(

10. Any fanworks you’d like to see?

Literally all of it. I’m also involved in the Harry Potter fandom and I’ve been spoiled with the endless amount of content there.

11. Any favorite headcanons you’d like to tell us about?

Brackett has a pet turtle.

12. Free space! Anything else you’d like to mention!

This was fun, and I love this fandom <3

#E! intro meme #ask game #emergency! ask game

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blondrichclosetwitch · 1 year ago

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The truth will set you free, but first, it'll piss you off

But you know what they say, you can't help who you fall for

I bet you think about me when you say "Oh my god, she's insane, she wrote a book about me"

You'll never wait so long

Venus

Maybe the riddle of this accident goes back to your gossip with a ferocious strategy you play wounded in his cockpit

but I think that you forgot my days of teenage hustling

It's going to save me, save me, save me, save me, save me, save me from your dirty dealings

My time coming, voices saying they tell me where to go

California, a prophet on the burning shore

Standin' on the beach, the sea will part before me

I know where to go

Those women got them evil loving ways make a man go crazy don’t know what they’ve done

A man can do anything they wanted to

one thing that I asked my baby: bring yourself up

All I wanna do is jump in your saddle and ride. You’re my sweet little mare, I’ll ride you everywhere. Let me ride.

Little girl, 17

I could fly that night. Shotgun. And a sheriff behind. Keep on running.

I know when there’s some cookies baking, I can smell ‘em a mile away

Mama, turn your oven around.

You want some entertainment?

Go on, shove it up me - if you must.

Jarvis' comments: “I've always been fascinated by plants growing in places where they shouldn't really be - like weeds growing in cracks in the paving stones. For some reason I thought: "That's a bit like humans in a city - you're a natural thing but you're growing in this slightly hostile, crappy environment but somehow managing to survive." I started thinking about how most good music comes from people who are in shitty circumstances and then the Svengali comes along and makes all the money and the artist gets fucked off. Then there was the drugs connotation. There's a slumming-it mentality in our society which is going back to a Common People theme - people getting a buzz from scoring drugs off a council estate: "It's so authentic, I was in a real council house, and these people had tattoos and everything." It's like they've got real contempt for these people and they'll spit on them, but when they want some drugs or they wanna shag a prostitute they're OK. And then there was the whole thing about weeds being considered to be weak things. You get called a weed in England in a school if you're supposed to be a weak person, and yet weeds, as far as i can see, are the most tenacious plants 'cos they grow in very hostile [places] - they'll grow in a little tiny bit of soil. I always like it when you're going down a street and you see a roof and there's this big bush growing off the top of it...”

I know I keep you amused, but I feel I'm being used

Oh, Maggie, I couldn't have tried any more

Five to one; one to five

No one here gets out alive

Why do you come so far?

" Trying to get to you”

Used to be that my head was haunted

I feel strong, I feel lucky

Said I'm going to get to you

I've gone and quit my worshipping of the false gods and golden sins

Cause we've made love in the Tower of Babel and it fell down

It'll take a lifetime to clear your name

Betcha if you had ur way you’d turn back the hourglass

Somebody call 911 and leave his name

Oh, still running game, y’all

I dare you to stay with me

One way to find out if it ever gets better than right now

Maggie. Do you want to hear a story? It goes like this:

Every morning, I do a Latin clearing prayer on my shoes and the kids “spirit tools”, so I won’t fall and they’ll be clear. And there’s a thing I say three times.

The first time I see Bubbles. The second, the Tarot Reader. And the third, you. And every time I envision you, I hear either “I’m sorry” or the word “sad”. And you def look sad in my mind. End of story. Could be worse; when I see the TR, I hear the word “evil”.

And then Chloe in the Afternoon is your three of swords song today. The day I died for a sec.

Girl, I feel ya.

You analyze me, tend to despise me, you laugh when I stumble and fall

There may come a day when I'll dance on your grave

“And I yearn for the truth that you know of the years, years ago.”

Put a little music in my day

She's a real good friend right to the end

(Ain't no woman like the one I love, people)

I don't know why it is but I have to laugh when she reveals me

Tough on the teeth, but what the hell?

How long before the judgement day? Before we cut the fat ones down to size?*

“Did you hear what I just heard?”

You know this space is getting hot

I've been on the other side; then you call me, call me in

You think I am your possession

So maybe I let your big wheel turn my fantasy…I've been drinking down your pain.

White Ferrari. I know the car was white and sporty, I’m a glutton for detail.

(Sweet 16, how was I supposed to know anything?)

“Mind over matter is magic; I do magic.”

Que sera, sera

But I never got over the secrets I kept

The woman that you once dated: Who were you then, and who is she now?

I've heard lies that could curdle your heartstrings

(Drunk girls)

Rih

It’s such a long journey, children

You guys know I’m going to leave this blog, right

And then what will you do

#today is a 22/4

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justcandidlife · 2 years ago

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a little life

never would i’ve thought that i would end up writing about how a book has affected me before i’ve even finished it, but as stone cold as i try to present myself - i’m human, and there’s only so much a human can bear.

i could stay here and try to sympathize with what jude is feeling but there comes to a point where less and less people on this planet can relate to what he’s been through.

i read the warning at the beginning, i knew how bad it would be, how downhill my already fragile mind could go and, still, i went for it, fearlessly and confident that i was strong enough.

i’m halfway through it and my entire body has never felt so affected by a piece of fiction. because although i know it’s fiction, it can very well not be. this could be someone’ story, this could be a stranger’ story, this could be my friend’ story.

it’s physically painful to read, but i force myself to continue, maybe they’ll be a happy ending once i turn the page, i keep going until my eyes are so swollen from crying that i can no longer read the words in front of me. even so, i turn the page in one last effort as tears keep escaping my almost closed eyes and i shut them, reading jude’s unfortunate life continue.

his adult life is spent listening to people say, disagreeing with him, his life is worth it, he’s worth it but be constantly proven right every time he’s pushed, punched, beaten down. you see this young man surrounded by people that love him, that care deeply about him, believe the words of someone that doesn’t matter and will never matter, but to jude these people finally proved all his thoughts and beliefs were right. jude who thinks he deserves every bad thing that happens to him, jude who will never take his friends for granted and counts the days until they get tired of him and leave, who no matter how broken, how helpless he is won’t ask for his friends’ help unless he has already crashed and is burning.

how heartbreaking it is to read him finally opening up to someone new and read the relationship going step by step into something so wrong and then there’s a push and the entire house falls down.

and what do you do when you see the owner of the house build it up again but it isn’t the same and he won’t allow anyone else near it again afraid it’ll break again? what do you do when he believes he deserved the storm that ripped him off his home, of the place that granted him a sense of safety un-obtained by anything else on the planet?

jude is and i think it’ll always be one of the most complex character i’ve read. he represents a past many thank god they never had to go through. he shows how it can haunt you for life no matter the people around. i want to hug him and tell him everything is okay, tell him he’s loved by people that’ll never turn their back on him, tell him he didn’t deserve all the things done to him and that it wasn’t his fault.

i really wish jude would believe me. i really do.

also, fuck you caleb.

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darkdevasofdestruction · 4 years ago

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Brahms's Lullaby ~ Brahms Heelshire x Reader

Note: Why do I love Brahms? Fuck if I know. Anyway, this is what happens when a a meek, cute girl moves away from her old life to turn the page and find herself once again...And yet, her dark past quite literally comes back to haunt her.

'That's one huge manor...' Y/N thought to herself, the back of her neck straining as she scanned it from the bottom to the very top of the roof. The grip on her luggage tightened as she gulped in anxiety, and after taking a few deep breaths, she entered in this house, and immediately got greeted by the elderly woman who was the mistress of the house.

Y/N wasn't sure if it was her who was just nervous about the drastic change in her life, or if the woman was simply incredibly intimidating, but hey, as far as she was concerned, this woman won't be staying with her, so she will be all alone in the house, taking care of a child...How bad could it be?

Oh wait. Y/N hates children. They are so loud, bratty, obnoxious, entitled, rude...And the list could go on for ages, but she couldn't loiter in her mind any longer, and instead, she had to memorise where each room was, and what instructions the woman was saying.

She couldn't believe it, but she was glad she chose to wear a pair of comfortable sneakers, for she kinda got tired going up and down the manor...But what could she do anyway?

The kitchen got introduced to her, the woman told her to keep the leftovers in the freezer, told her about Malcom the delivery boy and how he's the only one allowed to bring her stuff. Weird, but what could she do? P'haps the child has a very strict routine that they must stick to, otherwise they'll feel weird and uncomfortable. Who knows?

And then, she showed her the music room, and while she wasn't paying much attention to the woman who turned on the music on the radio rather loud, Y/N looked around, inspecting the musical instruments, especially the piano, and the music sheets neatly displayed - "Brahms's Lullaby" it was called.

"Oh, is the child a fan of Johannes Brahms?" Y/N asked with a soft smile on her face, as she gently traced her fingers over the keys. "Yes, he is. In fact, the child is called Brahms." the woman spoke a bit sharply, looking her up and down with eyes that almost seemed...Judging, for some reason. "What a lovely name. When will I meet little Brahmsy?" she asked, and as soon as she used that nickname, the woman's jaw got set, and Y/N could swear she was gritting her teeth in anger at her. "...Brahms. His name is Brahms. You will meet him right now. Come on." the woman went on ahead and opened a room, where a doll was sitting in a chair, neatly dressed like a gentleman, while next to him, crouching, an elderly man, who she could only assume was the woman's husband, the master of the house. "Oh, my dear Brahms...This is Y/N, she is here to be your new nanny. Miss L/N, this us Brahms, and he will decide whether he accepts you or not." ...a doll? She...Has to babysit...A doll? Well...The pay is good, and she's veeeery far away from her old home, so...No new beginning happens within your comfort zone, right? "Hello, Brahms, it's great meeting you. I hope we'll get along well." with a sweet smile on her face, Y/N crouched down if front of the chair and took the little hand of the doll, shaking it carefully. "...Fine enough. Now, could you give us some time alone? Brahms will decide now." with that look on her face, while the old man looked at her with pity, and...Relief, maybe? Y/N exited the room, only to see a man standing in front of her, wearing an amiable smile. "Oh, hello there, you must be the new nanny. I'm Malcom, the delivery boy. Well, delivery man. Nice to meet you." very charming... "Ah, yes, I've heard about you. My name is Y/N, nice meeting you as well." she replied politely, although she could sense the flirt he was failing to put forward. "If you want, some day, I can show you around the town. It's small, but kinda pretty." he continued in the same manner, and Y/N replied with simple answers, until finally, the woman opened the door widely, with an even wider smile. "Brahms has decided that you are suitable to be his new nanny, congratulations." how the human behaviour can change so drastically, doing a whole 180, in a split second. "Thank you so much for accepting me, Brahms! I'm sure we'll get along well!" Y/N clapped her hands together to her chest in a cheerful manner, as the elder man left as well, allowing his wife some more farewell words with the doll. "Here, I made you a simplified list of rules you must follow. You don't have to wake up at 7 in the morning every day like my wife told you, but you must make sure all of these are taken care of, alright, miss L/N?" the man asked, handing her the paper which she attentively read. "Yes, of course, I will do as instructed without fail. Thank you for having trust in me with your dear Brahms. Have a lovely trip and I hope you get a well-deserved rest!" Y/N wished them, and for a split second, she almost thought the man's eyes flashed with shock and sorrow. What was going on anyway...? This family is...Peculiar, to say the least. Well, no matter, she will be paid weekly, and with the pretty generous amount she earned while working as a doctor, she should be able to afford anything she'd want, so she won't get bored.

And so, the Heelshires left, and she was all alone with the doll - Y/N decided to make her new bedroom to her liking, as much as possible, with Brahms sitting on a nightstand, as she was humming whatever tune that went in her mind, and swaying carefreely.

"You know, Brahms? I wasn't expecting you to be a doll. But frankly, I think this is better. Children are annoying...But you? You're really nice. And you're not loud or obnoxious. I think we'll be great friends." speaking to a doll...I guess that's how far in my loneliness I've gotten. Tragic, really...She thought as she realised how much of a crazy person she'd look like, were someone to see her. "Since it's already evening, let's go make some really good dinner, and then we can play the piano a bit? Maybe even watch a movie together?" she picked up the doll and went to the kitchen, and looking in the fridge, then at the utensils available, she put together a nice dinner, and put it split in two plates, one for her, and one for the doll, and to keep away the boring silence that hung painfully throughout the house, she put on some LoFi music on her phone, and ate, feeling more peace now than she ever did. "Hmmm...I know your mum told me to put the food in the freezer...But it's better eaten while still warm. I don't think you'll like it if it's stone cold...So, I'll leave it here, on the table, and see how it is. If you don't like it, and you want me to put it in the fridge, just tell me, and I'll do as advised." ...Just tell me? JUST TELL ME? Girl, are you out of your mind?! As if a doll could speak...

After she washed her plate, fork and knife, she picked up the doll once again, and went to the music room, putting the doll on the piano, and cracking her fingers, she let them glide over the claviature, creating a beautiful melody echo through the room, and maybe Y/N didn't realise, but she had a glowing smile on her face, and she visibly relaxed and felt at ease, as if she was flying through the fluffy clouds.

"I haven't done this in so long, I'm surprise I'm not rustier. I hope you liked it too, Brahmsy. Now, let's go to be. Do you want to sleep in my room? Come on, I'm a bit anxious to sleep by myself in this huge, creepy house." she mused as she got to her room, carefully putting the doll on her pillow and after going to the bathroom to change in her cutesy Unicorn Pusheen nightgown, and turning on her laptop, she put on Harry Potter, one of her comfort movies, and cuddling with the doll, she gave it a little kiss before getting engulfed in the story once again, and falling asleep without realising.

Everything was peaceful in the house in the morning, until Y/N reached the kitchen to make some light breakfast, only to find a paper on the table, with beautiful cursive writing in ink on it.

"Warm is better, thank you :) "

Frankly speaking, it freaked her our enough to get a panic attack and barricade herself in her room for the whole day, her bedroom locked and too afraid to leave that place for the whole day.

Oops.

After this, days on end, and then weeks passed by uneventfully, as Y/N took care of Brahms with no problem, Malcom came by to give her the groceries, the pay and anything that she'd order online, she'd chat with some old friends, would watch movies, would go out to plant flowers and tend to the garden, would dance around, happy to bask in the warm Summer sun, would read whatever books she likes, with the doll in her lap, and she realised that she never felt more relaxed and free in her life.

It was pretty cool not having to work for money, huh?

But one day, when she was out in the garden, barefoot and with a cute, flower dress on, her long, beautiful hair, accessorised with a colourful flower crown, and she was dancing to the music on her phone, she noticed a figure somewhere from the forest. It was unmoving, almost as if it was staring, and it startled Y/N. It startled and frightened her so much that she quickly picked up the doll and went inside the house, making sure all windows and doors are properly locked, and the drapes are closed, so nobody could get in.

That night, she kneeled on the bad, an upset frown on her face, as she felt her eyes watering slightly, looking down at the porcelain doll of the little boy.

"It's moments like this when I hoped you were human, Brahmsy. Not a child...But a man. I'm scared...I'm so scared...I don't like being alone. There was some creep outside in the forest, and it was staring at us. What do I do, Brahmsy? What am I supposed to do...?" as she felt a few tears streaming down her face, she sighed, hanging her head down, raking her fingers down her face in mild desperation. "...Who am I kidding, you're just a doll, you're not human. Why the hell do I even bother. I'm going to die here, sooner or later..." her voice was filled with dread and resignation as she got under the covers, clinging onto the doll as if her very life depended on it.

Since that very day, she continued seeing the silhouette of a tall man, standing there, menacingly stalking her every single day, from different places, until she heard the phone ring, and reluctantly, she answered.

"...Hello? Who is there...?" she muttered, gripping the phone anxiously, awaiting and answer. "You don't recognise the voice of the man that made you feel good every night?" her breath stopped completely hearing that awful voice she hoped never to hear again. Instead of answering, she slammed the phone down.

But it rang again.

And again.

Until it drove her mad and she disconnected it completely.

It wasn't like anyone would call her anyway, and if they wanted to contact her, then they could text her on her private phone, or on social media.

Why can't she just get some peace anywhere? She just wanted to get away from all hell she was put through at home...But now, it seemed like Hell was inclined to follow her to the ends of the world.

The stress and fright from this increased when she received multiple pictures of herself from either outside the house, or even inside, which is when she realised the stalked from outside was, in fact, the one who called her on the phone. It was her horrible ex.

And one horrible night, as she gripped on the doll to dear life, walking down the corridors of the huge manor, checking for the thousandth time that everything is locked tight, she heard a noise.

What was she supposed to do...? She couldn't run out of the house, everything was locked...And could she hide? Not really, she was sure he'd check all the rooms without fail.

So...What could she do except try to hide in her room?

She waited in her wardrobe, knowing very well that, if he were to get inside her bedroom, he would check every nook and cranny, but even so, she felt safer in a cramped, tight place, than outside in such an open room.

Mere seconds felt like outright centuries, she heard the door slam open, making her jump in fright, her hand to her mouth, so she'd muffle any sound she'd potentially make from her hyperventilating. She knew, it would be long before he checked the wardrobe, but gosh...The anticipation made her anxiety skyrocket.

Until it finally happened.

Y/N found herself being dragged from inside her safe place by the hair, thrown to the ground, but not once did she let go of the doll that became some sort of a comfort object for her.

"So that's where you were, Y/N! I missed you! It's been a while, hasn't it?" oh no, that overly sweet voice...It's nothing but poison. It was so bad that her bottom lip started quivering with fear as she tried to crawl away from there, but obviously, to no avail. "Wheeeere are you going, darling? Didn't you miss me? Come on, give me a hug!" he grinned, grabbing her and trapping her in his arms, and she couldn't help but tremble in disgust and fear as she felt his hands roaming in places it shouldn't. "Why aren't you talking to me? Why aren't you saying anything? Come on, let me hear you voice! ...DO SOMETHING, DAMN IT!" ah, his facade crumbled much faster than expected, and that aggressive scream in her face as he roughly pushed her in the wardrobe door made her whimper and wrap herself around the doll, trying not to let tears fall down her face and just...Praying for all this to be over...To be just a nightmare..."What the fuck is with that doll anyway? Why do you cling on it, and not on me? Give that here." but she didn't let go, and seeing how she was opposing him, he forcefully grabbed her face before slapping her before snatching away the doll from her arms. "Sheesh...It's so fucking ugly. No wonder you stay with this, it's the only thing that would stay with someone like you. So ugly, dumb, annoying...You should be grateful that I'm here! Nobody in this world wants you! You're worthless and you deserve nothing. Do you hear me? You ARE nothing! Better thank me nicely for coming all the way here for you! Nobody would bother doing ANYTHING for you!" he yelled at her, as she cradled her face, crying, but also fearing being seen crying, remembering how bad it would get. "Don't her Brahms...Please...Please don't hurt him..." she begged and pleaded over and over, but it only seemed to ignite more anger in his eyes. "You only beg me with that sweet voice of yours...To save your stupid...Thing? Really, Y/N? You're pathetic. You're stupid. You're disgusting. Fuck you and fuck your stupid doll!" and with that, the jerk started slamming the fragile porcelain doll on the wall, ignoring the desperate pleas from the girl. "NO! NOOOOOOOO! No....! Brahms, no...! What has he done to you..." Y/N crawled to the place where the doll's porcelain head was slammed apart, and she let tears fall over as, with shaky hands, she tried to piece together the overly-fragmented head, only to get pulled back by the hair and slammed on the ground, as he pushed himself upon her, his hands grabbing at her exposed flesh, her light nightgown offering close to no protection from the lecherous predator, and her weak, noodle arms, just like before, offered no resistance to his significantly stronger, bulkier built, and no matter how much she tried to fight back, she knew...She knew that struggling never helped, no matter how much she tried. It never did. And it only made it hurt more.

But then...Before she knew it, a loud noise, like that of an explosion, or destruction, came from somewhere in the room, startling the poor girl enough to make her scream in fright, while the predator jumped to his feet looking at the hole in the wall...

Only for a pair of hands to slowly creep out of the wall, tredging along the wooden walls, and then, a head wearing a porcelain mask creepily got out, followed by 2 legs and a body. It seemed to be a man, very tall - In fact, taller than her ex - , but while yes, his dramatic entrance startled the two, the man only got angrier, ready to fight the intruder, while the petite girl only got more frightened by the commotion, dragging herself in the safest corner of the room, shaking, guarding her head with both her arms, hoping again and again that this was all a nightmare, and it would end already - It was beginning to look so much more incredible, like a weird fantasy movie...This can't be real, right?!

"Y/N! Help me!" the voice of a child called out her name, almost strangled and desperate, and peeking at the brawl on the ground, she noticed her ex trying to strangle the stranger, whose head was leaning, his eyes fixated on hers.

He went out of the wall as soon as she got attacked...He was trying to protect her...Maybe? So...She got up, trying not to attract the attention of her ex, and taking ahold of the lamp on her nightstand, she brought it down hard against her ex's head, making him groan in pain...But he didn't fall. He didn't faint, like you see in movies. Instead, he got up, glaring at the meek girl and snatched away the lamp, throwing it away.

"You fucking bitch...Now you've done it." his voice was so dark that she was sure this was game over, so she bolted out of the room as fast as she could, but the labyrinthine house was impossible to navigate, and before she knew it, she found herself in a dead end, with no escape.

However, instead of seeing her ex with the wrath of a raging bull, she noticed the stranger slowly making his way towards her, his shoulder slouched, his dirty, once white, tank top now splattered with fresh blood, as is the rest of his outfit. But his hands were up, almost as if to say that he 'surrenders', as he stepped right in front of the trembling girl.

"Please don't kill me. Please don't hurt me. Please, please, please, I will leave you alone, I will go away, I will do want you want, please don't hurt me." even her voice was shaky, her arms crossed to protect her face, and her eyes closed in fear, so she didn't notice the curly haired man slowly crouching down in front of her, his head tilting slowly, before he gingerly grasped her wrists, pulling them away with such gentleness that she never knew. It was so weird for someone to be so careful with her body...With her...That she opened her eyes, doe-like, looking at the man's wide eyes that peered through his mask. "I am Brahms." but this time, his voice wasn't like that of a child, but not did it sound rough and hoarse, like her ex's. It was soft and delicate, masculine, but not too much. It was soothing. And what Brahms once saw to be the most frightened eyes, remembering how scared Bambi was when his mother died, yet now, they had more of a curious spark. "I won't hurt you. I promise. Don't leave." the once tense girl visibly relaxed under his touch, as he let go of her wrists and letting his knees touch the floor, he leaned forwards, between her legs, to get closer to her, and touched her face with both of his arms, wiping away her tears, surprised at how soft her skin was...Is it was a flower petal feels like? He remembers overly descriptive books where women are seen as different delicate things...A flower, a fawn, a butterfly, a nightingale, the Moon, and so many others...And he could finally understand why. "You are safe now." he continued, thinking it would make the girl smile, but instead, even more tears leaked down her face, and she threw her arms around his neck, bringing him closer to her, his body flushed to hers...And he stood there, stiff, shocked at the situation he was in.

What was he supposed to do now? Touch was so foreign to him...But he loved it so much! It was so warm, it made him happy! He wanted the girl to be closer and closer to him. He remembers what she did daily to his doll - What was it called...A cuddle? - Yes, he wanted that. He NEEDED that.

He hated that man touching her - He was hurting her - Only HE can touch her. He deserved to die. He deserved to fuck off. All he has to do is get rid of the body, and the rest can go on as it always has been - Except, instead of Y/N cuddling the doll, she will cuddle him every night, and she will kiss him.

"Thank you, Brahmsy. Thank you. Thank you so much." she continued thanking him over and over again, but he didn't answer. Instead, his hands slowly made their way on her waist, then went to the curvature of her hips, then to her thighs, and without any warning, he lifted her up, indirectly forcing her to glue herself to him even more - Not before hearing her cute squeal of surprise - And he carried her to one of the guest bedrooms, shivering a bit as he felt her warm breath on his bare neck - It excited him, but he didn't understand really what it was - But it was enough to make him bite his lip behind the mask and his grip on her thighs strengthened a bit, under the pretext of making sure she doesn't fall by mistake.

Luckily, he reached the bedroom and closing the door behind, he got in bed, holding her close as she stood in his lap, so close that he could feel her rapid heartbeat slowing down little by little. It was no misunderstanding, she was getting more and more comfortable around him. He was her protector, and he wasn't going to let anyone hurt her ever again. She was his. Nobody else's. Only his.

They stood like that for a while, just holding each other and calming down, before Brahms turned the both of them to the side, and he hugged her tightly to his chest, playing with her hair, not letting her go for the whole night. His embrace was warm, and Y/N felt so safe - As never before, not even in her parents' home. She felt...Good.

The next day, she woke up still in Brahms's arms. She wasn't sure if he woke up or not, but she leaned to plant a soft kiss on the forehead of the mask, as she raked her fingers through his dark, curly hair, but before she knew it, a pair of arms wrapped around her torso, hugging her close to his chest.

"Good morning, Brahms. Did you sleep well?" her sleepy voice was so cute...He wanted to wake like this every day...As an answer, he merely nodded. "I'm happy to hear that. Come on, we have to eat breakfast, then take a shower...And after that, we can do whatever we want. Sounds good?" she asked, getting up and holding his arms, urging him to follow her. "No shower!" ah, the childish voice again, I see... "Then...How about I shower with you? I have some cute rubber duckies, if you want." she tried to appeal to his inner child, which seemed to pique his interest. "...Only if you wash me." he muttered, making the girl chuckle. "Okay, sure, sure. Let's eat something first. I think there's some milk and cereal." she remembered how much she loved to eat that every morning before going to school, when she was little.

She prepared two bowls and they ate in silence, until Brahms muttered that he wants to hear the music she usually puts when eating - And grinning at him, she put on LoFi music once again, which seemed to make the boy happy too.

After that, they went to the bathroom, and while Brahms waited for the tub to get filled, Y/N went to get the clothes in the washing machine, while getting some fresh clothes for the both of them. Apparently, he actually had other clothes, he just didn't want to bother washing or changing...For who knows how long...

As Brahms got in the tub, only briefs on, playing with the duckies, Y/N kneeled by the tub, taking the flower-scented showed gel and the sponge.

"Get in the tub too." Brahms put his arms on the tub edge, leaning his chin on them, looking at her attentively. "We don't have much space in the tub." she explained, but he had none of it. Instead, he rose from underneath the water, picked her up with a weird ease, and got her in the tub, not before splashing her, so her nightgown was soaked so she couldn't protest anymore. "...Fine, you got me. Let me clean you, then." she shook her head with a sigh as she heard him chuckle, gripping her wrists and pulling her to sit on his lap. Did he really like it that much, she wondered. "Can I shave your chest and neck, Brahms?" she asked as she trailed her hands over his chest, shoulders and arms, scrubbing with a sponge, one hand always finding its way on either her hip or her leg. The answer came in the form of a nod, and she reached to the sink to get a shaving blade and very carefully, making sure not to irritate his skin, or cut him by mistake, she cut down the overgrown, stinky, unwashed hair. In the end, his skin was finally clean and soft and smelling like roses and vanilla. "Let me sit behind you, I have to wash your hair." he seemed pretty exited, feeling her legs on either side of him, his head leaning back so her fingers could work miracles - He felt in heaven - He was so spoiled, and he loved every second of it. The shampoo smelled really nicely too, he had to admit. But her fingers massaging his scalp...Ahhh, it was so perfect, he was almost sure he'd fall asleep. "Let me wash you too!" he said, and in a split second, he could feel the girl's body stiffen, her eyes going wide, and her face...It was beginning to turn pink...? Was she...Blushing? "Ah, uhm...Well...Y-You can wash my hair, if you want?" she was stuttering! So cute! So cute, in fact, that he pinched both her cheeks, and they felt like marshmallows. "H-Hey, stop, that hurts." she pouted as he teased her. He loved that. "Yay!" Brahms cheered as he got her back glued to his chest, his hand gingerly tracing her neck, making her lean her head back, just as he did...But why did he like the sight of his hand wrapped around her neck? He didn't want to hurt her...But the visual was getting him feel weird things.

He followed the same routine as she did to him - Massaging her scalp, putting shampoo, rinsing, then this...Conditioner? Oh, it smelled nicely...And this is called...Hair mask? Ah, this is coconut scented! And she is smiling! She has a kitty smile! She looks like a cute little kitty!

After the bath time was over, Y/N wrapped him in a bathrobe, and while he wasn't paying attention, she quickly took off her nightgown and put another bathrobe on tying it tightly, and guiding the man back to their room, so she could use a hair dryer to dry both their hair, before brushing it neatly, so they could dress up...And he insisted she dressed in that cute, flowy, flower-patterned dress

"There, all good. What do you want to do now, Brahmsy? Do you want to go in the garden and see the flowers?" she asked, a bright smile on her face, both her hands holding his, and he could see her eyes were basically glimmering, pleading him to go out with her...But he hated the outside...Hmmm...

He grumbled a bit, but ultimately, he let himself be dragged outside - He hissed a bit, as if he was a vampire getting burnt by the sun, but after a while...He didn't find it that bad...? And the flowers in the garden were so pretty...!

"Hey, Brahms, take off your shoes and socks. Feel the grass. It will make you feel so calm and peaceful...Here, how do you feel?" she asked, intertwining her fingers with his. "It's...It tickles." he muttered, looking down and wiggling his toes to get used to it. "Come sit down with me. Watching the clouds is really relaxing." she said, helping him sit down, then laying on their backs. Instead of staying apart, however, Brahms pulled her close to his chest, her head resting on his shoulder. "...But it's kinda boring..." he muttered, as he started kneading her arm up and down, massaging it from sheer boredom. "Look, Brahmsy, that cloud looks like a bunny, don't you think?" she put her finger up in the air, pointing to one of the clouds passing by. "Ah! You're right! And that one looks like a dragon! And that one looks like a butterfly! Look, Y/N, it's so pretty!" his boredom dissipated quickly and it got replaced by excitement instead - Very wholesome, the girl thought as she looked at the person next to her getting so happy over such simple things.

They stood outside until evening came, and they could watch the beautiful sunset, the sky painted with the most gorgeous shades there are. "Let's get inside, dear, it's getting cold. We don't want to get sick, right?" she smiled at him, only for him to hang his head down, and then he took off his cardigan and put it over her shoulders and pulled the girl between his legs, her back glued to his broad, warm chest and his embrace made her feel so warm and at ease. "Brahmsy...?" she asked softly, tilting her head up, before feeling his chin on top of her head, but she was met with silence. "The stars are pretty. You are pretty. Y/N is the prettiest, brightest star. Y/N is my star. I love my star." his soft voice was heard, almost whispery, and after a few more seconds, she felt the softest, sweetest kiss on her hair, then on her temple and on her cheek, before his chin found its place back on her head. "I love you, Brahms." she said, with teary eyes, intertwining her fingers to his, pulling his arms closer to her and squeezing his hands. "And I've never loved anyone more than I love you."

Needless to say, that comment made the man giddy and happy, for he, too, felt happiest now than he ever did before. When they felt tired, Brahms picked the girl up and got her back to their now shared room, dressed in their sleeping wear and cuddled, yet this time, Y/N was holding him, his head resting on her chest, as she played with his hair, soothing, and humming a lullaby to help him sleep.

It was Brahms's Lullaby.

#brahms #brahms heelshire #brahms x reader #brahms imagine #brahms heelshire x reader #brahms heelshire imagine #brahms the boy #the boy imagine #the boy #the boy x reader #brahms heelshire the boy #brahms the boy x reader #slasher #slasher boyfriend #slasher imagine #slasher x reader #slasher boyfriend imagine #slasher boyfriend x reader

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thefanficmonster · 3 years ago

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Deep Breaths

Valkyrae x Reader (Gender Neutral)

Warnings: Panic Attack, Mentions of past domestic abuse, Mentions of alcohol and drug abuse, Swearing

Genre: Hurt/Comfort, Angst to Fluff, RPF (Real Person Fic)

Summary: Having received a call from the correctional facility where their alcoholic/drug addict mother is being kept, Y/N gets some intense nightmarish flashbacks to a time that still haunts them despite a decade having passed. Luckily their girlfriend Rae is there to comfort therm.

Requested by Anon. Hi dear! Thank you so much for your lovely request, I hope I captured what you wanted to read! Sorry it has taken me so long to complete and post the fic, but I hope you enjoy it nonetheless. Love, Vy ❤

“Hey Y/N, I-“ One step in the living room and that’s all it took for Rae to pick up on the melancholic mood in the room.

Her partner hasn’t even noticed she’s entered. Instead, they are sitting hunched over on the couch, elbows on knees, hand seeking their hands’ support to stay upright and their eyes hiding a thousand yard stare that’s got Rae worried sick.

“Babe, what’s wrong?“ She asks softly, inching closer to the couch to take a seat next to Y/N, “You can tell me anything, you know that, right?“

Through the fog surrounding their brain, they somehow manage to catch onto Rae’s words, forcing themself to give her at least a nod in response as to not scare her with their unresponsiveness. They can’t bring themselves to speak, it’s too hard on them to even think of what to say let alone spit it out, especially when their chest feels like it’s caught fire and their mind is still going haywire, heartbeat thumping in their ears as the adrenaline rush refuses to cease.

“Hey, look at me...“ Instead of sitting down, Rae ducks down in front of Y/N, taking their hands in hers, almost wincing at how cold they were. “Tell me what’s bothering you, baby.“

The girl is trying her best not to freak out or lose her cool, despite her already quickened heartbeat she can hear in her ears. She has every right to be reacting the way she is. Her permanently happy, bubbly, optimistic and cheerful partner who always seems to be as energized as though they’d just had a gallon of coffee is now a pale ghost sitting statue-still, staring off into the void with eyes that look empty yet terrified simultaneously.

Y/N’s mouth falls open as though they want to say something but the words die out somewhere along the way, refusing to leave their mouth and give them the relief of sharing their pain with the only person they trust limitlessly. “I-...“ They finally manage to find their voice though their gaze is still avoiding hers, “I got a call from the correctional facility where....” They trail off, a bitter taste forming in their mouth, making their stomach turn and bite the inside of their cheek as they feel the urge to throw up start to become unbearable. “She wants to s-see me...”

They don’t need to say anything else, Rae’s already connected the dots and her complexion has gone just as pale as theirs. She knows how sensitive and triggering this topic is for Y/N, how many bad memories are tied to this one person in their life. To make matters worse, they’re the one person who was supposed to take care of them yet she couldn’t even take care of herself - Y/N’s mother.

Rae distinctly remembers the night Y/N told her the truth about their family life - or the lack thereof - almost a year since the two had started dating. Rae never questioned their secretiveness and respected their privacy enough not to ask about it, patiently waiting for them to tell her on their own time and own terms. It was no secret even from the very start that Y/N had a very hard time connecting to people and trusting them. It took them maybe two or so months to be able to call their now-girlfriend a friend instead of an acquaintance. Rae didn’t question that too, didn’t push to pursue a friendship with them since, from her point of view, they were already her friend, so she patiently waited for them to come around and start trusting her enough to accept her within their tightknit circle of trusted people called ‘friends’.

Things progressed from purely platonic to sweetly romantic a little more quickly which pleasantly surprised Rae. The two were quick to grow to be inseparable though that didn’t mean Y/N gave up all their secrets. The darkest one, which happens to be this one regarding their mother, is the one they hid the longest and the last one they had to share with their girlfriend. The night they did tell it was a very emotional one: plenty of tears were shed by both Y/N and Rae but luckily they had each other’s embrace to seek comfort in and protect themselves from the ghosts and demons of a past Y/N spent so much time running away from.

An abusive parent is not a bit of baggage you can just get rid of. It’s something that weighs so heavy on you and is such a big part of who you are that you can feel it as a part of you. It haunts you no matter how much you try to run or hide. It’s not something you can shake off or forget. You might have physical and visible scars from the time spent with said parent or the trauma can be entirely psychological - regardless, it lives within you. Follows you around, raises questions you’re not sure you want answered, degrades you - making it seem like what happened was your fault in one way or another - it destroys you slowly very time something triggers a memory of that time, be it a simple conversation that has nothing to do with the subject or be it the glimpse you accidentally catch in the mirror of a scar on your body - a scar you remember being inflicted on you like it was yesterday.

That’s how Y/N’s been living. Feeling responsible, feeling unloved, feeling chained to their past. They’ve done all in their power to appear unbothered and let it be visible, not even when around Rae since they don’t want to worry her.

But seeing as their past has caught up to them now and they inevitably have to face it, they’re forced to let it show, they couldn’t hold it in even if they tried. Although they don’t wanna play the unbothered, unfazed part any longer. They have been strong on their own for far too long and it’s taken a toll on them. If they keep up with the act, they’ll be completely and utterly crushed.

Not that they’re feeling any better at the moment.

“Stay with me, Y/N. Stay with me. Keep your eyes on me, ok? Take deep breaths. Deep breaths, baby. I’m here, I’m not going anywhere. It’s ok. You’re ok.“ Their short-circuiting brain has been spasming under the influence of the adrenaline, anxiety and panic brought on by the memories of every time they felt small and helpless while at the merciless hand of their alcoholic, drug addict abusive mother, begging to be spared the pain of being hit with whatever object the deranged woman could get her hands on - yet somehow, Rae’s voice still reaches them through all that messy dark fog. “Come on, Y/N, stay with me ok? Please don’t do this, I’m right here, there’s no need to be afraid,”

“I...“ they can barely hear their own voice over the racing of their heart, “I don’t...I don’t wanna go....“ is all they manage to say, a tear falling from their eye.

“It’s ok, we don’t have to go. We won’t go. Your mental health is the most important thing here, Y/N. We’re not going and that’s final.“ Rae replies vigorously, tightening her hold on Y/N’s hands.

Despite the state they’re in, Y/N can’t help but take notice of the use of the word ‘we’, Rae’s reminder that they are not alone, that she’s there for them and will not let them go into this alone. That brings a small smile to their face, calming their heart and panic ever so slightly, “N-no, I have to. It...it’ll help me.” They sigh before attempting to express themself again, “It’ll give me...closure, I guess.”

Seeing that Y/N’s doing a bit better, Rae’s hand move to cup their face instead, pushing the stray strands of hair away for their features to be full exposed to her, especially their eyes, “Are you sure you want that? Can you handle it? It’s not supposed to be your obligation, Y/N. I mean, the woman’s a monster and she hasn’t even thought to contact you in half a decade, and now she suddenly wants to get back in contact? She has the audacity to disturb you after all this time? You don’t have to agree to this, Y/N.”

Y/N shakes their head, “No, no, I want to. I want to agree to this. I want to live a normal life, Rae. I want to leave her and all she did to me behind. And I can’t do that if I keep running away. What happens when I stop to catch my breath? It still catches up to me like I made no progress whatsoever. That’s not a way to live, not the way I wanna live, at least.”

Rae nods slowly, fully understanding what Y/N is referring to. She maybe hasn’t said anything about it ever, but she’s always seen that little bit of darkness behind the happiness and excitement Y/N always displayed. Rae’s heart ached every time she caught glimpse of those little signs Y/N was putting on a performance while actually hurting on the inside.

And if a meeting with their mother was what would help them finally fully embrace a happy life, then who was she to stop them.

“Ok.“ The girl sighs, “Ok, we’ll go see her, but only if you’re 100% sure you’ll be able to handle it.“

They shake their head again, sighing with unease, “I can never be 100% sure, my emotions have a tendency of being unpredictable so I’ll just have to pray I don’t have a breakdown or a panic attack.”

Rae swipes her thumb over their cheekbone wiping the tear that just escaped their eye, “If you do, don’t worry, I’ll be right there. You know the drill: squeeze my hand, take deep breaths and most importantly, don’t forget I’m there for you. Ok?”

Y/N nods their head, the small smile reappearing on their face. They squeeze Rae’s hand and take a long inhale. “Hand squeeze, deep breaths, noted.” They say when their eyes meet hers, “Thank you so much, Rae. Thank you so much for putting up with me and all my shit and thank you so much for never giving up on me no matter how much work I am or how hard dealing with me and my demons becomes.”

Rae’s heart stings at Y/N’s words, tears brimming her eyes when she raises a bit on her knees to press her lips against Y/N’s forehead. “Don’t thank me, angel. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you and I never want to get gratitude for it. Love doesn’t ask for gratitude, and neither do I.”

Y/N lets out a small laugh to cover up an emotional sob that escapes their lungs. “I love you, Rae.” They say with a trembling voice.

“I love you too, Y/N.“

This time, the Y/N’s lips met the lips of their girlfriend, reminding themself that their safe haven isn’t a place, it’s a person - their girlfriend who means the world to them.

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honeypiehotchner · 4 years ago

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intelligence & issues (Hotch x Fem!Reader) -- chapter twenty-two

I’m liking this two updates a week schedule because I hate leaving you guys hanging like that!! I hope this chapter makes it all better xx.

Oh btw the title of this chapter and last chapter are lyrics from “Hold On” by Chord Overstreet! (Also I know the gif is irrelevant but the ~emotion~ of it is relevant)

ALSO (wow I have a lot I keep forgetting to add) I meant to @ her last chapter, but all of these medical scenes and things were 100% done with the help of @thedumpsterqueen because I know next to nothing about all this stuff and she was an angel and let me ask all the crazy questions <333 (P.S. she has a Hotch fic called Standards of Performance on her blog that you guys should alllll read if you haven’t already!! It’s SO good it’s one of my favorites)

Warnings: angst and sadness, but that’s pretty much it

Previous chapter || Fic Masterlist

Chapter Twenty-Two: I can’t imagine a world with you gone

Everything is a blur in Hotch’s mind before and after the first gunshot rings through the air. He didn’t need to hear the buzzing in his ear to know it had hit you.

He took off at a sprint, as did the rest of the team.

His ears are ringing. His thoughts are racing. He’s never been a man who talks frequently to God, but he’s praying. Hoping you’re alive. Begging you to not be dead.

Aaron would never forgive himself if you died. As it stands, though, he won’t ever forgive himself for this.

Prentiss, Reid, and Rossi take off in one direction. Hotch and Morgan take the other. Police officers fill the gaps and follow behind, everyone searching for you and Savannah.

Morgan is the first to stumble on the room. His throat aches when he screams for Hotch, keeping his weapon aimed at Savannah.

“Put the gun down!” Morgan yells.

Hotch comes skidding to a stop in the doorway a second later, weapon raised, but his eyes are focused on you. Savannah’s boot is pressing into your thigh, blood oozing from your wound, soaking your pants, spilling onto the concrete. Hotch’s heart drops at the sight. He’s seen enough bullet wounds to know how much blood should come from them. That is too much.

The bullet must’ve hit the major artery. And the thought terrifies him.

Morgan takes the shot when Savannah refuses to move. It hits her stomach and she stumbles for a moment before falling. Morgan yells for the paramedics again, distantly thinking they should be in here by now.

Hotch falls to the ground beside you, his hands cupping your face, not caring who sees. His thumbs tap your cheeks, willing you to open your eyes. You have a pulse, but it’s weak. Weaker than what it should be.

He presses hard over your wound, hoping to slow the bleeding, but there’s more surrounding your leg than he wants to see.

“Y/N?” He says, his eyes watching your eyelids for any movement. He lets out a momentary sigh of relief when your eyes open. “Y/N, please, can you hear me?”

You stare back at him, no signs of his words registering in your eyes. They’re empty. Haunted, again, but for a different reason this time. This time it’s different. “Aaron…”

“I’m here,” Hotch says gently, pressing his hand harder, his heart breaking when you groan in pain. “I know,” he says, shushing you.

Your eyes travel around the room then, and Aaron follows. Morgan is pressing his hand over Savannah’s wound, speaking into his wrist, asking the others where the hell the paramedics are at.

But Aaron doesn’t want you to see that, so he cups your jaw again, turning your eyes back on him. He smiles as best he can, the tears beginning to spill from his eyes as he takes in your face.

“There’s my girl,” he says softly. “Keep holding on. They’re almost here.”

“Aaron,” you try to say, your voice low and strained, and Aaron shakes his head, trying to get you to stop talking. “Aaron...I don’t wanna go without-- I need to tell you that I--”

“Shhh,” he tries again, not wanting you to waste any energy. “You don’t need to.”

“I love you,” you finally get it out. And he’s stunned to complete silence and tears. “I love you so...so much. It hurts.”

“Y/N,” he says, panicked. Your eyes are closing. “Y/N! Come back, Y/N, come back to me. Y/N. Y/N, please.”

Hotch is too caught up in holding your face and keeping pressure on your wound to notice the paramedics have arrived. One team goes to Savannah, relieving Morgan, while the other comes to you, trying to usher Hotch away, but he doesn’t budge.

“Hotch,” Morgan tugs on the unit chief, grabbing at his arms, his heart breaking for the both of you. “Hotch, you need to let them get to her.”

Reluctantly, Hotch backs up, clenching his bloodied fist, grimacing at the way your blood sticks his skin together.

Everything else is a blur.

What does it need to be clear for, anyway? If you’re not here?

+++

You’re still in surgery.

It’s been an hour. But it feels longer. It feels like it’s been an entire twenty-four hours.

The entire team has taken up camp in a waiting room at the hospital.

Reid is reading and rereading every magazine he can get his hands on to distract himself, never mind the fact that he reads them so fast that he rips a page on one from turning it so quickly. Morgan has Garcia on the phone and has left to get coffee at least three times, the first time returning with a tray of steaming cups and the next two times returning with only one, but two tearful eyes. Emily has been pacing and will wear a hole into the tile at this rate if she walks for another hour. JJ has been staring at the wall, chewing so hard on the inside of her cheek that she flinches when she draws blood.

Rossi has been staring at the wall, too, but mostly he’s been worrying about and watching Hotch.

Aaron has been biting his nails, tugging at his hair, angrily wiping away tears, and left once to go on a walk before returning two minutes later, asking if they had heard anything. Those two minutes had felt like two hours and he was worried sick for all 120 seconds that he missed something.

Dave hasn’t tried to say anything to Aaron, though he wants to. It’s heartbreaking to watch Aaron like this.

You’re going to pull through. Dave — and the rest of the team — can’t afford to think otherwise. And they refuse to think otherwise, unable to imagine what it would be like if you weren’t here.

But it seems like Aaron is thinking otherwise.

Truthfully, he is. But he’s thinking about so much more.

You love him. You love him. You love him.

And he was too stunned to say it back. The one chance he had, and it might be gone now. Ripped away. Forever.

He sent you in there. He did this to you. He had his reservations, but the call had already been made. You seemed so sure. You wanted to do this so badly. He didn’t want another fight about him not trusting you because it’s not about his trust for you, it’s about how terrified he was for you.

He’ll never forgive himself for this now. Not ever.

It’s a world he can’t even bear to imagine. One without you in it.

Yet here he is, grappling with the fact that he might not have to imagine it soon. He sent you in there. He knowingly put your life in danger. And now he’ll have to live with the consequences.

+++

Aaron is shaken from his trance by the doctor and a nurse coming in to inform the team that you’re out of surgery and that it went well.

But you’re in the ICU.

“She lost a great deal of blood,” the doctor says gravely. “But we think she’ll pull through. She just needs to be watched closely for the time being.”

Everyone nods silently, not sure of what else to say, other than feeling relief that you’re alive.

“Visiting hours are long over, so I recommend you all get some rest,” the nurse says. “She’s in good hands here.”

“Thank you,” Rossi replies.

The doctor excused himself, but the nurse stayed, offering to answer any extra questions. “Visiting hours start at seven a.m.,” she says first. “And in the ICU, only two visitors are allowed in her room at a time.” She doesn’t voice an apology, but one is in her tone as she glances between the six team members.

“Can I stay?” Hotch blurts out of nowhere. The team member’s heads all turn to look at him in surprise. “Can anyone stay the night, I mean.”

“Uh, yeah,” the nurse nods. “One person can.” Her eyebrows furrow sincerely. “Are you her dad?”

Morgan internalizes a snort.

“No,” Hotch replies kindly. “I’m not, but I’d like to stay. I’m her boss.”

Still the nurse looks skeptical. “Would she be okay with—”

“She’s his girlfriend,” Emily blurts out, tired of waiting. And when Hotch sends her a look, she says, “What? It would’ve taken you hours to say it.”

“Oh,” the nurse chuckles, embarrassed. “I’m so sorry. Yes, of course you can stay.”

Hotch lets a tiny smile shine through, but it’s not much. Truth is, he’s terrified to see you. But leaving you here alone – even if this is a hospital – terrifies him more.

The rest of the team says goodbye to head back to the hotel for some much-needed rest, if they can sleep at all. They know they’ll wake every couple hours to worry about you before sleep consumes them once more.

In the meantime, Hotch will be here to look after you for all of them. You’re like a little sister to the rest of them, even though Morgan is the only one to have voiced that. You’re loved here. Loved more than you’ll ever be able to comprehend.

You’re loved by Aaron much more than he’ll ever be able to articulate to you. But he’ll try. He’ll try to help you see.

+++

Hotch is finally walking to your room in the ICU after another half hour of waiting. The nurse said they had to get everything settled in your room before he could come back, which only made Hotch’s worry spike even more.

But eventually, he’s in your room with you. A pillow and blanket is in the chair by the window, but he’s not paying attention to it.

You. You’re asleep, of course, and probably will be for a few more hours. The nurse said you had already woken up once, but because of the pain medicine and the overall stress your body has been under in the past few hours, you fell back to sleep almost instantly.

Tears well in his eyes at the sight of you, laid up in the hospital bed, IVs and wires all over you. The beeping of the heart monitor is the only real sign to him that you’re even alive. Your chest is rising and falling, but it’s barely visible underneath the gown and blankets and wires.

You have one regular IV placed on the top of your left hand. Some other line is in your upper arm, and another in your wrist. He has no idea what they’re all for, he just knows he hates seeing you connected to so much.

Aaron wipes at his eyes angrily. Does he have a right to be this upset when he’s the one who sent you in there?

He turns and sets the pillow and blankets in the other chair, knowing he won’t sleep tonight even if he wanted to. Instead, he pulls the chair closer to your bed, where he can place his hand next to yours.

And, if you happen to wake up, you can reach for him if you need to.

+++

Three hours pass and you still haven’t woken up. Aaron knows. He’s been watching you the entire time.

The nurses have come to check on you a few times, assuring Aaron that it’s normal for you to be sleeping like this. But he just nods silently.

He wants you to wake up. Just for a minute. He needs you to just open your eyes and look at him, just once. That’s all he needs.

But it’s wishful thinking as the sky begins to lighten, showing the first signs of dawn.

Aaron links his pinky with yours, afraid to do much else and risk messing up your IV. Holding pinky fingers is enough right now. Or at least, it’ll have to be.

“I’m sorry,” he says out loud, to you, or really to no one at all, because he’s not even sure you can hear him. “I’m just so...sorry, Y/N.”

Stupid tears gather in his eyes again, clogging his throat, stopping his words.

But he keeps going.

“It’s my fault,” he says. “And I know you’ll try to convince me that it’s not, but Y/N, it is and I’m so sorry. I can’t believe I let this happen to you.”

He leans his head into the palm of his free hand, tightening his pinky finger’s grip on yours.

“I love you,” he blurts it out, tears warming his palm as they cascade down his cheeks. “I love you and I need you to wake up because I need you to hear it. I love you. I don’t think there’s ever been a day that I’ve known you that I haven’t loved you.”

He sniffles, loud and body-rattling, glad he’s alone in this room with you because he’d never let anyone else see him like this. No one but you.

“I tried to get it out before, but you were already gone, and I— You need to wake up. I need you to wake up. Please.”

Aaron keeps his eyes closed and head down for a few minutes longer. He doesn’t even see that you’ve opened your eyes.

Until your pinky finger gently squeezes his.

He lifts his head quickly, eyes wide and wild when he sees you’re looking back at him, eyes glassy with tears and exhaustion.

And just like that, just seeing your eyes open and looking right at him, the dam breaks once more. He’s a mess of tears when he leans his head down onto the bed. You lift your hand and thread your fingers through his hair, closing your eyes as more tears slip down your cheeks.

You scratch a soothing pattern on the base of his skull, moving your other hand over your body to hold onto his arm. He senses the movement and lifts his head, grabbing your hand and pressing it to his lips.

He’s not sure how long he stays there, all he knows is his back aches when he straightens up again, and you’ve fallen back asleep.

Next chapter

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the-cult-of-russo · 4 years ago

Text

Biggest Regret

Pairing: Billy Russo x Reader

A/N: This one wasn't a request. I have Billy on the brain so much that I literally woke up and this popped into my head as I was laying there trying to fully wake up and I had to write it lmao It's just a little thing. A letter from Billy to you. I know a lot of you guys might want a part two for it, the resolution to the letter and there's a few ways it could go. So if anyone asks for a part two, let me know how you want it. Angsty? Fluffy? A mix? And I'll see what the general consensus is. I already have a slight idea about it but I wanna know what you guys want.

Also this is my AU dreamland where Billy didn’t betray Frank looool

Warnings: cursing, angst, sadness and regret from Billy. Talks of pregnancy and babies and abandonment.

-----------

Y/N,

I know it's been a while and I don't even know if you still live where you did back then or if you'll get this. I'd say some shit like I hope you're doing well, which I am, but… I know you won't want to hear it.

I'm overseas again right now with Anvil. Me and Frank are taking point on a serious mission we're doing. Anvil's doing pretty well right now and we just got a contract from the CIA which is how we ended up here. Being out here like this, it reminds me of being deployed. Part of me missed it, I guess.

It's given me a lot to think about. It's funny how life and death situations do that to you, puts it all in perspective. And I know… I know you probably hate me and I don't blame you but I just hope if you do get this letter that you at least read it all.

I never should have walked away last year. I used to think I was a brave man, I mean the shit I've faced in the marines and with Anvil… I never backed down and I always fought. But with this. With you and the baby, I tucked tail and ran and I'll never forgive myself for that.

Honestly, I was terrified. I didn't think I could be the man you and the baby needed. I don't know what it's like to have loving parents and I hate myself so much for walking away. I don't want to do to my own kid what my mom did to me. I don't want them to grow up thinking I don't care, that I don't want them. It was never about that. I was never angry you were pregnant, I was never resentful. I was just scared that I'd fuck it up beyond repair so I got out of there before I had the chance.

I should have been there for you, Y/N. I should have been there to hold your hair from your face when you got sick. To go out at 3am and get you pickles or whatever the fuck it is that pregnant women love to eat. I should have been there with you at the birthing classes and the scans and the appointments. I should have been there to hold your hand in the delivery room, to tell you what an amazing job it is you're doing. I should have been there to hold my kid when they came into the world. To be there for you and them.

I can't take that back. I can't rewind time and be there and I wish I could. I don't know anything about my own baby which hurts the shit outta me and it's my own fault. I don't know if they're a boy or girl, how old they are. I know they'll roughly be a few months old based on when I walked away but that's about it. Do they look more like me or you? Are they a happy or fussy baby? This is the shit that's been running through my head out here. Fuck… I don't know if…. I don't even know if you kept the baby and that shit hurts too deep to even consider. But I know you well enough. Or at least I think I do. And I don't think you would have done that. As much as it would kill me inside, if you did I wouldn't blame you. I'd left you all alone to deal with it and I know neither of us planned a kid.

Frankie was the one who told me to write this. He's been putting up with me nonstop the last month of us being out here crying talking about you and the baby. He and Maria miss you, the kids too. Maybe that alone should have told me back then how important you were to me. I'd never introduced any of the girls I slept with to them, but it just felt natural to me back then. I'd wanted to. I couldn't even see just how much you meant to me.

It's like they always say, you don't know what you've got 'till it's gone. And I didn't know just how much I cared about you until that day I walked away and I fucking miss you, Y/N. Frank and Maria always ask if I'd heard anything about the baby or if I've reached out and it breaks my heart every time with how disappointed they are. I guess I never really thought they'd be excited for me to have a kid. But they're my family, of course they would be.

Frank roughed me up, you know that? I didn't tell him right away about the baby. He'd ask about you and I told him we decided it wasn't working like the coward I am. But then a few weeks after I told him the truth. He clocked me in the jaw, yanked me around as he yelled about how stupid and selfish I was. And I let him. He was right and I deserved it. I don't think I've ever seen Frankie so mad before and that's saying something.

I know I should have reached out sooner, but being out here on the front lines like this, it reminds me of how fleeting life can be. And I wish it didn't take something extreme like that to give me the balls to man up and write this to you but I think we've all established I'm not as brave as I once thought I was.

I have no right asking you for anything, I know that. But I miss you and I want to be a part of our baby's life. And you can ignore this letter or tell me to go fuck myself and I'll listen. If you tell me to stay away, I will. I owe you that much. But I'd… even if you could tell me about them a little, it would mean the world everything to me. And I know I don't deserve shit but I'm selfish and asking you anyway.

I've seen and done a lot of shit in my life and your face has haunted me every single night since the day I walked away. I saw how scared you were. You were just as terrified as me about the baby and I wasn't there for you. I didn't comfort you or reassure you that we'd get through it together. Instead I shut down and told you I couldn't do it, I wouldn't do it. And then you looked at me with such heartbreak that it makes my chest feel tight and I fucking hate it. Every time I close my eyes I remember those looks and I know I'm a piece of shit for ever putting them on your face.

It hurts more that you just accepted it. Like you expected it from me. I guess you knew me well enough to have an idea how it would go when you told me. And then you fucking respected my wishes and didn't contact me about anything. You didn't owe me that. You should have harassed me, called me a piece of shit, fought me, got child support. Fucking something. But of course you didn't. You've always been too kind and caring for that. Always looked after me even when I least deserve it.

And I guess I'm hoping that even through the hate and betrayal you feel for me, that maybe somewhere in there you still care even just a little. Enough to put me out of my misery. Enough to send even a letter with the bare minimum details about our kid. I'm hoping that I didn't change you because you were perfect as you were and the last thing I want is to have fucked you up because of my own insecurities.

There isn't a day that goes by where I don't think of you. Think of the baby. I wonder how you're both doing and if you're happy. I know you'd be a great mom and despite it all, I'm glad that if I had a kid with anyone that it was you. I'm coming back stateside in three weeks. It's gonna kill me not knowing if you've wrote back or not but I won't hold it against you if you don't.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry for all the pain I caused you. For making you go through all this alone. For walking away from you and the baby like I did. If I was there I'd be down on my knees begging for forgiveness for what I did. All I can hope is that you take some mercy on me, even just a little.

I miss you, Y,N. I miss you so much it hurts and I'm just sorry. Whatever you decide, I'll understand and respect it. I love you. And yeah I probably shouldn't say that, might feel like a smack in the face after everything I've done, but I do. And I know I never told you that when we were together. We were never really 'serious' or whatever, or at least that's what I told myself. But it was only ever you. When I was with you there were no others. And I couldn't see it at the time but I'd fell in love with you the moment we met in that damn grocery store. I don't know if you ever felt the same about me but I know even if you did I've ruined that. I don't expect anything from you. I fucked up and I know that. But it doesn't change that I want to be there now. I want to know about our baby, I want to be part of their life. I want them to grow up knowing I care about them because I do.

I hope to hear from you when I'm back but I won't hold my breath. I hope… I hope you're both doing okay and I'm just sorry for everything. I hope one day you'll be able to forgive me.

Billy

#billy russo #billy russo x reader #the punisher #billy russo imagine

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yoontaethings · 4 years ago

Text

normal kind of love — jjk (1)

pairing: jungkook x reader

rating: explicit

word count: 2.5k

warnings: a lot of cussing and some teasing if you squint, but other than that none really (the warnings will come next chapter lmao)

you’re one half of hollywood’s on-screen it couple. the greatest chemistry known on-screen with the one and only, jeon jungkook, the bane of your existence.

a/n: this was supposed to be a longer chapter but i decided to split it in half to tease potential readers mwahaha btw this chapter is very very unedited, though i did postpone the upload because i had to remove some parts because i just thought the story didn’t need those bits anymore lol but the rest of this story i haven’t even read through yet, i just wrote and wrote and wrote so please excuse any errors (my tenses might also not be consistent but i’ll edit this soon)

taglist: @min-nicoleee @thisartemisnevermisses @ggukkieland @kokoandkookie @somelazysundays

There was no way.

There was no way in hell they were pairing you up with him. Again.

You were confirmed to be cast as the female lead in the movie before any other characters were casted. They should have chosen a different male lead for this romance film. Heck, even Kim Taehyung, a friend of yours, received an offer for the role and you were certain he planned to take it. Unfortunately for you, even if Taehyung wanted the role, he couldn’t accept it because of scheduling conflict with another film he’s already working on.

Jeon Jungkook, an actor you starred alongside in “Dangerous Illusion”, was just confirmed as the male lead of your upcoming movie “Chosen for Pleasure”. The same man who seemed to make it his life goal to ruin you. After Jungkook was confirmed to play the male lead in your upcoming movie, fans on Twitter have been blowing up about it and made you two a trending topic worldwide. Elated fans mentioned you in their tweets expressing how happy they were to see you two again together. You wish you could say you felt the same.

The previous movie you worked on was a thriller/mystery. You played the part of Jungkook's wife in the film. The film was a blockbuster hit, as a result of the well-thought storyline, yet additionally because of its leads. Fans adored the chemistry between you and Jungkook, regardless of not having a lot of romantic scenes in the film. There were a lot of fans who wanted to see you two on-screen once more, this time, in a romance focused film. Looks like their wishes were coming true.

To add insult to injury, your impending film was going to be an adult romance. It required some steamy scenes that normally didn't trouble you because you were a true professional, yet absolutely irritates you now since you need to do them with Jeon Jungkook.

The script reading was to be done today and your eyes opened an hour later than the time you set for your alarm because of the fucking snooze button. Seriously, why were snooze buttons even invented? They just allowed people to sleep through their alarms continuously.

Hand reaching for the phone on your nightstand, you knocked over a booklet that was over it. It was the script you spent hours reading to grab a sense of the character you were going to portray. Obviously, you already knew the basics about the part you were going to play, but knowing the entire story helped in portraying your character.

Your eyes squinted at the bright light of your phone that had the numbers 8:33 glaring at you, unlocking it to see a couple of texts and missed calls from your manager.

‘Are you awake yet?’

‘Please don’t tell me you forgot about the script reading today’

‘Ok I know you’re still asleep but just make sure you get ready on time, being late won’t do you and your image any favors’

‘I’ll pick you up at 9’

You rolled your eyes at his messages. You loved Hoseok and he was the best manager you could have been given from your agency, but he nagged too much. He was also your friend and his endless nags made you want to rip your eyeballs out sometimes because even when you’re supposed to unwind with him, he never forgets to remind you of your job.

‘I’m the fucking lead, Hobi, they’ll wait for me’

You slapped your phone back onto the nightstand and started going about with your morning routine. You didn’t have a lot of time, and even though you knew they would definitely wait for you, you hated being that bitch who made people wait so you took a quick shower and slapped on some sunscreen, powder, and finishing off with your go-to lipstick. You didn’t bother with makeup and dressing up. This was just going to be a script reading and sure, there were going to be photos taken but the thousands of dollars you’ve spent on facials and treatments already made sure your face was at least flawless despite the lack of effort.

Bringing only your phone, wallet and script, you exited your building and as usual, a shiny black van already awaited outside. Hoseok was leaning on it, scrolling through his phone when he sensed your presence and looked up.

“Oh, thank god you’re on time.” He exhaled in relief, pocketing his phone.

“I value sleep but you’re well aware I also value my career.”

Hoseok grinned. “Now there’s the y/n I know.” He then slid the van door open and you entered without another word.

The drive was pretty much uneventful, with you scrolling through your social media, seeing what fans have been tweeting about recently and with Hoseok humming along to the random pop music playing.

You longed for a distraction, something much more interesting than working your thumb throughout the drive because of the chasm that you were about to jump into when you arrived on set. You weren’t stupid enough to forget about the man who got the role of your romantic interest in the film. But you were wise enough to not let it haunt you for the past weeks. Now though, you can’t really avoid it anymore since you were supposed to be seeing him in person again after almost 2 years. You didn’t exactly leave on the best terms with Jungkook but who knows, maybe you’ll be able to act civil around each other.

At least you were sure you were going to act civil around him, already decided on taking the higher path. You’re not so sure about him, but fingers crossed he’ll at least be an adult about the situation and pretend he can stand being in the same room as you.

Soon enough, you were entering the room the script reading was to be held in. Bowing and greeting the actors and staff seated around the table as you passed by to get to the last vacant seat. You caught Jungkook’s eyes following your movements as you sat down. Luckily, he was seated across from you and it was easier to ignore his presence with the staff members greeting and coddling you.

As always, script reading began with actors introducing themselves and the role they’re going to play. As the female lead, you started off.

“Hello everyone. I’m y/n y/l/n and I’m going to take on the role of Yuri.” Hands clapped around you as you sat back down.

“Hello, I’m Jeon Jungkook and I’ll be playing Ryan.”

You didn’t bother clapping unlike the rest and avoided the eyes of the voice’s origin.

The script reading continued without a hitch– for the most part. The other cast members were very friendly, and laughter was exchanged during the read. The same couldn’t be said for you and Jungkook though.

When lines between your characters were exchanged, there was a weird tension in the room. It felt like everyone else were holding their breaths and waiting for either of you two explode and announce that you can’t do this film anymore. As dramatic as that would be, none of that happened. Instead, cheesy romantic lines sounded flat and bored from both you and Jungkook. The director made a tsk-ing sound whenever that happened.

“It’s always been you.” You read. The script said that Yuri and Ryan stared in adoration towards each other before Ryan uttered his next words.

“Marry me?” Jungkook asked.

You nodded your head as a wrap for the script reading. According to the script, there was supposed to be a kissing scene at the end, so you make ridiculous smooching noises. The cast burst into giggles before the director stood from his seat.

“…and that’s a wrap!” He clasped his hands together. “Hopefully when we start shooting things only look up from there.” He flitted his eyes between you and Jungkook.

Honestly, you wish that too but from yours and Jungkook’s history, you don’t really think that’s possible.

You were both professionals though and you’re sure you could at least count on him to make the on-screen romance feel real.

“I’m sorry.” Hoseok said with pity in his eyes.

“Wha- but… why?” You asked, confused with what was happening.

Your part in the new film ‘The Notebook: Remake’ has apparently been withdrawn. As one of the rising stars in Hollywood, this was a really great opportunity for you. It’s one of the most anticipated films and accepting the offer of being the female lead in the movie was a no-brainer. Anyone who refuses that role is just stupid.

But now they were apparently taking it back.

Hoseok sighed. “There were too many scandals surrounding you recently. It doesn’t matter if they’re true or not, but you’ve been seen in hotels that Jeon Jungkook has been in too, and in everyone’s eyes you’re now secretly seeing him.”

“But we’ve never even been seen together in any of those photos. Don’t people know the word fucking coincidence?” Your brows furrowed, fists clenching at your sides. “And what does this have to do with my role in the film?”

“It seems they wanted someone with a ‘cleaner image’ and someone who’ll get the film to be a hit. Apparently, the romance won't be convincing if the female lead is dating someone in real life.”

You stared at Hoseok. He stared back waiting for a lash out, an angry outburst, anything really, but you remained silent, eyes unmoving. Soon enough, the dam doors burst open and the tears suddenly came streaming down your face. Hoseok exhaled and wrapped his arms around you.

“Hobi what did I do so wrong to deserve this?” you sobbed into his chest.

“Shh, it’s not your fault they’re all dumbasses. But you know the industry, y/n. We’ll find better films for you, okay?”

“Why is Jeon Jungkook such a thorn on my side? Why is he always ruining everything for me?”

“We can’t blame him, honey. He’s probably a victim in this too because of those damn rumor outlets.” Hoseok rubbed his hands along your back.

“But I’m getting the short end of the stick! The rumor is probably just feeding his bad boy persona!”

“Life’s unfair, y/n. Surely by now you’re aware of that. Just remember, karma’s going to bite them in the ass someday, okay? For now, do you want to call it a day and go home? I’ll drive you back and I’ll just report to the agency that you’re not feeling well.”

You nod your head, too listless to bother answering with words because there was only one thing on your mind right now.

Fuck Jeon Jungkook and his good looks. He just ruined the best opportunity for you. You were going to get him back for this. Like Hoseok said, karma’s going to bite him in the ass someday. And that karma was going to be you.

You were supposed to be looking forward to filming one of your dream movies with your dream director. But all you felt was dread when you arrived on set. You promised yourself that you’d stay unaffected to Jeon Jungkook, but you couldn’t help the distaste for him to be left on your face while filming.

The scene you were shooting was when your characters first met and the first takes were a total disaster. You and Jungkook barely spared each other a glance, even when your character was supposed to be enticed by him, breaking down Yuri’s cold exterior. A break was called after the 6th take because the director was so frustrated that he looked like he was about to call the casting director and replace his two leads.

You sighed, not knowing what to do with yourself after the announcement of a break. Your feet led you to your dressing room, ready to pass out on the couch but before you could, someone barged in. Your head turned towards the door, expecting it to be your manager or the director or anyone really, just not the person who currently stood at the doorway.

“Can we talk?” Jungkook asked. Your eyes were suddenly drawn to his biceps which bulged from his shirt as he crossed his arms. The damn arms looked delicious. Too bad they belonged to someone you would never ever be attracted to.

“Sure.” You shrugged your shoulders. You were sure he came here to talk to you about filming and how to work out your indifferences and shit like that and honestly, you were so tired of hating him you’re ready to just go along with whatever. Hating someone actually takes a lot of effort, you realize.

Jungkook stepped towards you until he’s close enough that you had to tilt your head upwards to look at his eyes. His eyes locked on yours for a moment before his arms uncrossed and one of his hands landed on the wall behind you. He successfully caged you in with no way out. His lips part and your eyes are drawn to the movement, feeling his exhales on your nose. You swallowed nervously.

Good lord his breath smelled so good.

“Babe, I’m sure you’re just as thrilled as I am to be working with you again as you are with me, but let’s not mess this up okay? Let’s get this over with perfectly and quickly so we don’t have to deal with each other again after. Deal?” His eyebrows raised in question and you nodded dumbly, unable to form a coherent sentence with how close he was to you.

You felt a sudden rush of heat down there and was mentally cursing the man in front of you for how much he was affecting you. He tilted his head to the side and leaned in closer to your face as if he was about to kiss you then he suddenly stopped, his mouth forming a smirk, taunting you.

That smirk was all it took for you to snap back to reality. No, you were not going to let him take the upper hand here. A burst of confidence surged through you as you leaned closer to him too and allowed your lips to brush lightly against his cheek.

“Deal.”

You pulled away, satisfied with how his lips drooped apparently not expecting that. You looked down and there it was, the tenting of his pants that brought a coy smile to your lips. Ha, take that.

You glanced back up at him, your fingers trailing over his thighs. “Aw, didn’t realize you saw me that way Jeon.” You abruptly pulled away and walked out of the room without another word, leaving him hard and defeated.

This is the beginning of his karma, you thought as you grinned to yourself.

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graysonmydarling · 4 years ago

Text

thin line

summary: what happens when you finally cross the thin line between hate and desire?

word count: 2.1K

warnings: swearing, smut, secret relationship

There’s a very thin line between love and hate, a line you were all too familiar with. After all, you’ve been edging the line between being enemies and lovers with Dick Grayson for years now. You weren’t even sure how this ‘feud’ between you and him had started, only knowing that you were both too stubborn and proud to admit that maybe you were wrong, besides you could hardly take back years and years of despising each other just like that. So you kept any objectionable feelings you might have developed to yourself and pretended that his face didn’t haunt your dreams at night.

A dark expression clouded Dick’s features as he went over the mission plan for what felt like the 1000th time but he was still no closer to figuring out how to get into Deathstroke’s hq without immediately alerting him. Donna sighed, bringing the team’s attention to her, “I don’t understand why you’re trying to make this harder for yourself. One phone call and we can get in and out without him ever knowing we were there.”

“Absolutely not. I’m not calling her.”

Donna scoffed, “Damn right you’re not calling her, I’m gonna call her.” She picked up her phone, hitting your contact number before he could stop her, “Hey Y/n, I’m sending you an address, we need you for this mission.” She hung up, sending him a triumphant smile.

You checked your phone for the 100th time, checking the address that Donna had texted you before sending her a message to tell her you were waiting outside. The door buzzed open and you took the lift up to where you assumed Donna would be, the doors slid open and the smile fell from your face as soon as you saw him. As much as you hated to admit it...he looked good, even if he was scowling at you with his arms crossed over his chest like a child, speaking of his arms....it felt like your brain was short-circuiting as you watched his muscles flexing. He glanced over, meeting your gaze, “I was against you coming here. Just so we know, I think we can do this without you.” And he just had to go and ruin it, didn’t he?

“Then it’s a good thing I didn’t ask for your opinion, isn’t it?”

He straightened up, taking a step towards you, “Oh you’re such a-”

“Uh uh, don’t you dare finish that sentence, Bird Boy. I told you to be nice to her.” Donna marched over to you, pulling you into a tight hug.

“Maybe she shouldn’t make it so difficult to be nice to her.” Dick retorted, still glaring at you.

She gave you both an exasperated look, “Well no one else finds it difficult to at least be civil with her. Look, she’s here now so you two need to put your stupid feud aside, at least until this mission is over and then you can have a fight to death for all I care.” She grabbed your arm, pulling you out of the room with her.

“So Dick....Why do you hate her?” His jaw clenched from Kory’s question and you grinned at him.

“Yeah why do you hate me?” He didn’t answer but you could see how physically tense the question had made him, you turned to Kory with the pure intention of pissing him off further, “You know, I actually have a theory that he likes me and this is his way of showing it. You know like how little kids are mean to people they like, I guess Dickhead Grayson over here never grew out of it.”

He whipped around with a dark look in his eyes, he was furious and it was kinda hot, “Y/n….a word, in private.”

You got up and Donna called after you, “Remember no murdering each other until after the mission.”

He dragged you down the hall and into his room, locking the door before turning to you, “What the fuck was that?”

You shrugged, feigning ignorance, “I have no idea what you’re talking about, Pretty Bird.”

“Don’t call me that. And you know exactly what I mean.”

“Would you prefer if I went back to calling you a dickhead?”

He let out a frustrated groan, “I’d prefer if you’d shut up for once!”

“Do you know what I think?” You continued, not caring about his response, “I think you only hate me cause I turn you on. I think I frustrate you.”

His jaw clenched, his voice so low that it sounded like a growl, “Shut up.”

“Make me.”

And then without warning, you found yourself pinned against the wall as he surveyed you with a ravenous look. His face was barely an inch away from yours, his eyes glinting as he smirked at you, “What’s wrong? Had so much to say earlier.” He caught your gaze on his lips and his smirk widened before he pressed his lips against yours, kissing you roughly as his hands slipped down to your waist, pulling you into him, your hands tangled into his hair, kissing him back. Kissing Dick felt like relief, the tension that had built up between you for years was finally broken and you wondered where you’d be now if you had only done this earlier.

Your back hit the wall and you buried your face into his neck to muffle a moan as his hips ground into yours. He abruptly pulled away from you, “I’m not gonna touch you unless you beg for it.”

You didn’t say anything and a devilish smile creeped onto his face as he slowly traced his fingers up your thigh, smirking as he heard your breath hitching, “I said beg, sweetheart.”

His fingers painfully close to where you needed him, “Dick...please.”

His fingers pressed into your thigh, a shit eating grin plastered on his face, “Please what?”

You glared at him, your fingers trailing along his chest before your hand slipped down to palm him through his jeans, “I don’t care what you do as long as you do me.”

“He picked you up, his lips on your neck as he carried you over to his bed, gently dropping you on top of the mattress. He hovered above you, after he’d helped you out of your clothes before taking off his own, his eyes burning into you before he leaned down, pulling your legs to rest over his shoulders. You frowned at him, “What’re you ohh-” You cut yourself off with an almost embarrassingly loud moan as he buried his head between your legs, your hands immediately fisting into his hair as his tongue roughly flicked against your clit. His fingers slipping into you as you whimpered his name, he moaned against you as you involuntarily tugged on his hair as his fingers hit a particularly sensitive spot.

The coil in your stomach tightened as he brought you closer to the edge, “Fuck- Dick...I’m gonna-.” You couldn’t even finish your thought before you came undone on his tongue. But he wasn’t finished with yet as he trailed kisses up your body, hitching your leg to rest around his waist, biting down on your shoulder as he pushed into you. “Such a good girl for me, aren’t you baby?”

You nodded, not trusting your voice as you prayed that the rest of the Titans were still in the kitchen so they wouldn’t hear the sounds of your moans or the bed-frame slamming against the wall as Dick thrusted into you. You felt your walls clenching around him as he moaned your name into your skin, his hand slipped down to circle your clit, “Good girl, cum for me, baby,” He murmured in the hottest voice you’d ever heard, but you’d always had a secret thing for his voice, digging your nails into his back as he guided you to your release, your name spilling out of his mouth as he came before pulling out of you and tugging you into his arms.

It was silent for a moment before Dick sighed, “You were right.” You raised an eyebrow in confusion and he continued, “I only hate you cause you frustrate me.”

You laughed and he tensed up, “I knew you liked me, but for the record? It’s definitely mutual.” You paused, “What are we gonna tell everyone else? They’re gonna ask if we’re suddenly all lovey dovey after being at each other’s throats for god knows how long.”

“What if....we just don’t say anything? We could just pretend to still hate each other and avoid an awkward interrogation from Donna.” He captured your lips in a gentle kiss, making it very hard to say no to him.

Pretending to hate Dick was proving to be a lot harder than you’d anticipated, in theory it seemed easy, you’d practically been doing it for years now but now you knew your feelings were reciprocated but you still couldn’t hold his hand in public. Your relationship consisted of dark corners and locked rooms, you knew deep down that it was probably for the best when it was still so new but you couldn’t help the way your blood boiled when you had to sit and watch Kory dancing around him like that. It wasn’t that you were jealous of Kory, more that you were jealous of her ability to openly flirt with him while you could only have a civil conversation with him behind closed doors. Thankfully no one had noticed that you had practically moved into Dick’s room, mornings with him were like your safe haven. You always woke up first, just so you could admire the way the shadows fell across his face, making him look like an angel when he finally opened his eyes.

Today was one of those mornings, he squinted at you, before his arms tightened around your waist, pulling you closer to him as a fond smile appeared on his face. “Good mornin’, darling.”

“Speak for yourself, I still can’t feel my legs!”

His smile widened, tugging you closer, “Shame, guess you’ll have to spend all day in bed with me, won’t you, sweetheart?” He rolled over, hovering above you before leaning down to kiss you lovingly. Unfortunately you were interrupted by a loud knock at the door, you moved to slip out from under him but his arms tightened around you, keeping you with him, “Just ignore it, they’ll go away.” He mumbled in your ear, burying his head in the crook of your neck. He groaned into your neck as the knocking got louder, begrudgingly letting go of you and pulling on his sweatpants before stumbling over to the door, opening it an inch so you’d remain out of sight.

You smiled as you listened to him grumbling at his younger brother, pulling your lower lip between your teeth as your eyes trailed over his back, watching how the muscles flexed as he stretched. You were so preoccupied that you didn’t notice Jason leaving until you heard the door locking and your eyes darted up to meet Dick’s gaze. “Didn’t anyone ever tell you that it’s rude to stare?”

“I wasn’t staring, I was admiring. Two completely different things.” A smile tugged at your lips as he crawled back into bed with you, his lips ghosting over yours. “Admiring hmm?”

You rolled over so you were looking down at him, “I’ve heard it’s rude not to admire beautiful things and you, Richard Grayson, are one of the most beautiful people in this world, no doubt about it.”

He laughed and you gave him a questioning look, “I’m sorry but two months ago, you were telling me that I was the ‘most insufferable person to plague the earth’ and now-” He trailed off and you reached over to brush the hair out of his eyes.

“And now?”

He swallowed the lump in his throat, “And now, you’re saying things that make it really hard for me to stop myself from falling in love with you.” He reached for your hand as he spoke, running his thumb over the back of your knuckles.

“You expect me to believe that my favourite boy wonder is scared of falling in love with me?” You asked in a teasing tone, not actually expecting him to respond.

“No, he’s actually terrified.” You paused, searching his face for any hint of insincerity, wondering if he could feel your heart racing. “What are you saying?”

He sat up, “I think I might be in love with you.”

You shifted so you were sitting in his lap, “Well the feeling might be mutual, Pretty Bird.”

His face scrunched up at the nickname, “Didn’t I tell you not to call me that?”

You shrugged and his hand came up to cup your cheek, pulling you into a gentle kiss.

Tagging a couple people (let me know if you wanna be removed!!): @catxsnow, @starxfires, @pricetagofficial

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blu-joons · 4 years ago

Text

Dispatch Reveals Your Relationship ~ Son Hyunwoo

As soon as he saw you sat out in the living room, Hyunwoo was desperate to walk back out again. However, as soon as his eyes met yours, he knew that there was no escaping the situation, as his eyes then fell on your laptop which was open on the coffee table with the article on too.

“I wish this wasn’t the way,” he frowned, taking a seat on the sofa beside you. “I don’t know how this has happened, or what we can do Y/N.”

He leaned forwards and pushed the lid of your laptop down, unable to look at the article or the photo of the two of you that had been snapped for any longer.

Your relationship was something you mutually decided to keep secret, you were careful, and aware at all times, or so you thought. When your friend first sent you the article, you thought it was some sort of wind up, but as soon as you saw the photo, you knew how real it was.

“Where do we go from here?” You asked Hyunwoo, noticing how distant his eyes were from you. “The fans are already expressing their anger; I’ve got a huge target on my back right now.”

It was the backlash that he never wanted as Hyunwoo watched his worst nightmare unfold in front of him. He always hoped that his fans would support him if he found happiness, but anything but that was happening for the two of you right now.

“We have to tell the truth,” he sighed, brushing his hands over his face. “It’s not like we can try and convince them we’re not dating when my lips are against your cheek.”

“I just don’t understand, we’ve always been so careful of what we’ve done.”

Hyunwoo shuffled closer towards you, resting his hand against the top of your thigh. His eyes glanced across to your shirt, noticing that it was the same you wore in the photo, his bulldog shirt, as if the evidence wasn’t already conclusive enough for the fans.

Looking back, the two of you knew your decision to wear the shirt was a mistake, you’d gotten away with it before, but never with Hyunwoo right by your side.

“I know it’s scary right now, but I want you to know that I’m not going anywhere,” he quickly assured you, trying to put your mind at ease. “Whatever the fans, the media, the company think, I’m sticking right by your side whilst we ride this out.”

Your head nodded, but words failed to greet you as you tried to remain composed. The words Dispatch had haunted you for a long time, but even more so now they had revealed all about you.

“What are you thinking right now Y/N? Do you want to leave, or do you want to stay?”

Your eyes darted to your right to look at him, as if that was even a question that he needed to ask. It was so sudden, it almost made you doubt yourself.

“What do you want me to do?” You questioned, flipping the question back on him as you tried to understand where Hyunwoo stood through it all.

Instantly, he tightened his arms around you, hoping that would give you a clear and obvious answer. There was no way he wanted to face this alone, not just because he didn’t know what he’d do without you, but also because he knew the world was far too dangerous right now for you to face without him right beside you.

“How are we ever going to be alright again?” You questioned.

“We just get through it, together.”

He almost managed to make it sound easy, but your situation was far from it. You’d never heard your name spoken so many times or seen so many negative comments attached to it. It was heart-breaking for you to suddenly feel like you were drowning in amongst it all.

“We can’t go anywhere Hyunwoo.”

“Why not?” He asked of you. “Just because a few people aren’t happy about us, I’m not going to let that stop us doing our thing.

Hyunwoo was never going to allow himself to be driven into a corner, he was proud of you, regardless of what anyone else had to say about the two of you. He’d always done what he wanted to do, he wasn’t prepared to have anyone tell him how to live his life, especially with you. What others thought, simply didn’t matter to him.

“This is about so much more than us though Hyunwoo.”

Your relationship had always had the full backing of the boys too, they encouraged you more than anyone to be open and happy regardless.

“I won’t let it, no one can change anything.”

Your head nodded, but you were far from convinced. You worried slightly if Hyunwoo had been blindsided by the fact that the fans still loved him, even if he was with you.

But for Hyunwoo, seeing his name continue to be praised only made things harder. He would swap positions with you in a heartbeat and let the fans be angry with him. He was the one that had gone behind their backs to date, if anyone deserved their anger, it was easily him.

“I’ll release a statement,” he suddenly spoke up, “make sure the fans know that their hate won’t change a thing for me, that I’ll still be with you.”

His arm tightened around you once again, “how can you make a promise like that though? There’s so many people around who have things to say, your management for a start will definitely have something to say about all of this, it’s not as easy as that.”

As much as he knew that his company would have something to say, just like the boys, they had been very supportive of the two of you. Just like Hyunwoo, they knew the time would come when you’d become public, but this wouldn’t have been they hoped for it to happen.

“What about you too? Are you just saying this because you don’t want to hurt me?” You quizzed.

“No,” he stated, kissing your cheek gently. “When I told you on our first date that I do what I want, I meant it. Management might be disappointed right now, but they’ll support us, I just know that they will.”

It was easy for Hyunwoo to rely on promises, but to you, this was so much more. You couldn’t bring yourself to open up your phone, let alone answer the endless worrisome calls that came from your friends and family.

They trusted Hyunwoo, and they knew that he’d look after you, but that didn’t stop them worrying about how you were doing too.

“Regardless of how this plays out, I’m right here with you,” he reminded you once again, “we’ll get through this as long as we stick together, if that’s what you want.”

“Of course. I just don’t want to see you get hurt along the way.”

His head shook, cupping the side of your face, “I don’t want to see you get hurt, none of this is your fault, if I wasn’t famous, then we could just be a normal couple.”

“We can’t think about that,” you sighed, “you are famous, and this has happened. Now, we just have to find the right way to respond.”

“Together is how we respond, we prove to the fans that no matter what they have to say, they won’t drive a wedge between us.”

Your head nodded in agreement, “I don’t want any of this to break us Hyunwoo.”

“We won’t let it, I promise you.”

---

Masterlist

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