#they wrote absolute bangers for the hunger games

[grondds-and-roses]

Sometimes the strongest thing in the world is an album written by a 19 year old girl

[grungost]

Hiiiiiiiii :3 (again)

Haha, I would *never* stop posting for almost three quarters of a year... Anyway, Senior years almost over, whatever, more importantly Dragon's Dogma 2 was released and is absolutely incredible. Once again breaking out the superlatives: one of my favorite overall games. Ok, I don't think I even want to go into that, so what am I writing about here? This is basically public journaling, or would be if anyone really read these. I'm not complaining, though, it's pretty much fine. I started watching House MD, another absolute banger show, scratches a similar itch to SVU, but instead of being about cops its about doctors and occasionally disparages cops (edit: obviously a positive, just to make that clear). I read Roadside Picnic, the book that Stalker is originally based on, that was super good. I don't read as much as I used to when I was in grade school or whatever. I started reading Gardens of the Moon, first book in the Malazan Book of the Fallen series; haven't gotten far, but its cool. Uhhh, I don't think there's much else really. Still like magic; I didn't even read everything I wrote in my last post, but I saw it was about some magic stuff and I still think that stuff's neat. Oh, there have been a bunch of really good original songs from some of the Hololive JP members (I don't think I ever mentioned that particular interest of mine, I'm pretty into both JP and EN vtubers), Suisei's "Bibidiba," Kobo's "Help," and Marine's song that I don't remember the name of. Whatever the latest one was. All of them bangers.

I don't think I ever mentioned that I got really into Fear and Hunger in the past year. Oh wait, that happened after my last post! Man, that was back in October and my last post was in August. Anyway, Fear and Hunger; what a difference between when I first found out about it. When I first played it, it had such an oppressive atmosphere, genuinely upsetting at times, if only on account of the fact I'd never played a game so visceral, bodily, and sexual; pretty unique experience. Once you get into the swing of things though its just a bunch of fun. Oh, it was incredible though, making it to Mahabre for the first time; I was sick for a significant portion of the summer, had a hacking cough and a persistent headache or something (wasn't Covid, thankfully), and when I first went there, the music, the bizarre underground sunlight, the feeling of digging into the secret and divine realm that undergirded everything I'd been through to that point, all of it was heightened by my dizziness. It was pretty worrying at the time when I was so tired and had a coughing fit long enough that I passed out for a minute or so, but in retrospect it totally enhanced the experience and I can't help but appreciate how the experience as a whole positively affected my perception of the game. I won't talk as much about F&H 2, it wasn't as good. I appreciated that it was going for something else, but I much prefer the straight up fantasy setting of the first one. don't get me wrong, still a great game, just not my favorite.

I think that about wraps it up. I'm not gonna promise consistency again, but maybe I'll keep my page up in a tab and it'll remind me to write sometimes. Maybe if I had a topic... Maybe I could write about Fox Junction, a PS1 JP-only roguelike that isn't especially fun but has such an incredible atmosphere I can't help but love it. Maybe I could write about Tunic, my favorite game of all time (I still don't remember, but there's a good chance I already did in my previous post on account of how similar the subject matter is re: synchronicity and a spiritual world). Or maybe, just maybe, I could write another long, rambling post about nothing in particular. Who's to say what I'll end up writing about, there's simply no way to be certain. Alright, later!

[2ofswords]

top 5: plays, words, chapters/fics you wrote,items of clothing you own, ships

That’s... a lot of questions. I’ll try...

Let’s talk theater!!!

Okay, for he first one… Are we talking written plays or shows? Because there are…. Very different answers there. I’ll just include both since a lot of my favorite theatre productions are not about specific texts. (I just like a lot of them so much and want to mention them!) Also note: I live in Germany and study German literature with a focus on theatre so there will be a lot of that.

5. Die Winterreise written by Elfriede Jelinek This one is actually about the text. I guess it is not the most provocative work from Jelinek but… the themes man… the themes. The whole “passing of time” and the sadness of it. It kind of goes through all seven stages of grief about it and… well it’s Jelinek so there is much more. The whole part about the lost father near the end that just goes on forever and doesn’t stop and it is so bleak and also melancholic and full of love that cannot be properly expressed an… god. Also the first page of this text is one of my favorite written pieces of… anything really. Sometimes I just read it to… read it. This play also started my interest in theatre studies! I wrote an essay about it out of spite! I was just really annoyed by everyone calling it autobiographical (which to be fair: it absolutely is) and basing the narrator only on Jelinek’s own life when the whole narration has her style of deliberate vagueness and can be applied a whole lot more interesting. But people only relying of autobiography aspects is a pet peeve in literature studies I have in general. (Yes, I am looking at you, people who cannot shut up about Franz Kafka’s father!!)

4. Kill your Darlings by René Pollesch I have to go with one Pollesch play and while I also really liked Probleme Probleme Probleme, this one just has some banger sentences and also an octopus costume. Which is all I ever needed in a theatre production.

3. Ibsen: Peer Gynt by Markus&Markus This one is not a written script but a play. And it’s a really interesting one. It follows a group of performance artists who spend a summer with a man who has dementia and they are trying to make a play about Peer Gynt from Ibsen with him as the main role. It is part of a series trying to find the characters Ibsen writes about in our time and this is the last part of the trilogy and… it really hits. It’s just… super interesting and the plot twist is… Good. There seems to be some debate around the play and the group in general (and I actually have seen one other play from them that I really didn’t like) but this one is genius and I think it handles the discussion with a lot of dignity. Also the connections to the actual source is super interesting. There are a lot of really amazing monologues in there too!

2. Les Robots ne connecaint pas le blues oder Die Entführung aus dem Serail by Gintersdorfer/Klaßen God… this one is so good! Sadly this is another one that was played by the group and cannot be seen anymore. But god… it’s a masterpiece! It’s an analysis of the opera “Die Entführung aus dem Serail” and applies a lot of postcolonial theory, queer studies, gender studies and just… personal experiences and viewpoints. It’s thorough, it has an amazing aesthetic, an entire opera orchestra and a Coupé-décalé dance-off… It’s just a blast and so fucking clever! I really love the analysis and style of Gintersdorfer/Klaßen in general and can really recommend the group!

1. Draußen vor der Tür (The man Outside) by Wolfgang Borchert Surprising absolutely nobody. This is definitely the play I loved most through school years. But let’s be honest here: It’s mainly number one because I made my own production of it with one of my university’s theatre groups and that was – no exaggeration – the best time of my life. The magical semester I had. It’s also really good and really sad though.

The other lists are under the cut because this post is getting too long!

Okay, what’s next. Words?

Uuuuuuh. I like words. I don’t really have… specific ones I love… Uuuuuuuummmm…. I’m going with German here. There is also some great English ones but… I know more words in German… Sorry… The other lists are written in English again!!

5. erwidert mein Lieblingswort, um “sagen” auszuweichen direct nach “fragt“ und „antwortet“. Erwiderungen geben einfach recht viel Dynamik in die Sache hinein und strukturieren Dialoge. Yay!!

4. jetzt Um… ich weiß, man soll keine Füllwörter benutzen… Aber an die Regel habe ich mich noch nie gehalten? Ich mag meinen Sprachrhythmus? Und „jetzt“ ist einfach super praktisch, wenn man eine zusätzliche Silbe braucht, aber einen schnellen Sprachfluss erzeugen will. Es setzt ein bisschen druck in den Satz und lässt sich dabei sehr schnell sprechen. Außerdem eignet es sich auch sehr gut, damit wörtliche Rede ein bisschen umgangssprachlicher klingt, ohne besonders umständlich zu sein. „Was machen wir denn jetzt?“ „Das kannst du jetzt echt nicht ernst meinen!“ „Ich habe jetzt aber wirklich genug von euch!“ Fun stuff.

3. demnach Ich hoffe niemand hier hat irgendwelche großen oder interessanten Worte erwartet… Das hier ist ein Hausarbeits-Wort! Argumente! Sie lassen sich zusammenführen! Und man kann dieses eine Wort benutzen, um von einem Punkt zum nächsten zu kommen! Es ist ein Wunder! Um ehrlich zu sein, bevorzuge ich es, dafür „in diesem Sinne“ zu benutzen, aber das ist kein einzelnes Wort.

2. Enzensbergerexegetenschelte I… am out of words: Aber hier ist ein wort, dass den Buchstaben „e“ ganze zehn Mal beinhaltet und in einem lustigen Gedicht vorkommt.

1. Oh.

 Okay, about my own fics:

I rarely revisit my fics so I will just see where my gut feeling takes me. Also if I talk chapters, I will only include one chapter by fic, so that this list doesn’t become my favorite Blank Rune Chapters.

5 Shenanigans by the sea (Pathologic Fanfiction) It’s so silly but also so happy and genuinely one of my best pieces of writing! Definitelly one of my better Pathologic fanfictions and what can I say? I like to write scenes with a lot of characters that I can switch around. It was super fun! Also lifeguard Saburov is still one of the best ideas I ever used for anything.

4 “Durchführung” in Nur ein Spiel („Execution“ in Just a Game? – Hungergames Fanfiction) Another chapter of my hunger games fanfiction and… well it’s one of the most memorable I would say. I remember that I absolutely loathed writing it because my personal favorite character died and also the favorite character of my best friend but… worth it tbh. The whole love confession in it is also…. Cheffs kiss.

3 How to play. A dramatic text in three acts (Pathologic Fanfiction) I think this is the best Pathologic fanfiction I wrote. It’s just… I can’t help but love it and it’s one of the very few pieces I actually reread from time to time. I love the wordplay in this one and I really love how it mirrors some more abstract forms of theatre and… I don’t know I just think it’s one of the few times I managed to write something really smart.

2 The Last Gebo-Chapter in The Blank Rune (Hungergames Fanfiction) It’s short but… I think it hits. Don’t even think it’s the best chapter from a technical view and also… not the one that hurts the most but… It has the exact sweetspot of hurt and loving it and I worked a long time to finally get to a point in the story where I was able to write it. Also that fucking last sentence…. It symbolizes a lot of what I wanted to do with Blank Rune.

1 Das Glasperlenhaus (The Marbles‘ Shed – Original Work) It’s short story of mine an I really really love it! It’s actually hard to say what it is about but I wrote it for a competition that had the theme “Haunted House”. I guess it’s about some guy who visit’s a pretty weird small house next to a park and how that house affects his life. And also there are a lot of marbles that get knotted into a string and I guess that is metaphor for life and death or something.

 Items of clothing I own

Oh! I have a lot that I really like!!

5 The one black dress with the flower ornaments!! It’s just so… insanely pretty! It’s more for special occasions and I need to be in the mood for wearing it but man… makes me feel very fancy and fairy like.

4 All of my woolen socks! They. Are. So. Warm! And my feet are very cold. Bonus points if at one point they got extended and now have completely different types of wool attached to them? I don’t know, I really love that!

3 The one grey jacket, that kinda looks like a biker jacket where the person who made it didn’t get the memo, that these are supposed to be made out of leather. It’s just a wacky item and still very much my style and very comfy. Also I need another leather jacket, my old of kind of… faded into nonexistence…

2 The blue outdoor jacket that kind of looks like one of the cloaks in kingdom hearts but some fool painted it dark blue and so it got thrown out of the world that never was and directly into… a tom tailor outlet store I guess Ummm… Much nostalgia, I guess? Also it has some fluffy clothing parts an is super warm and comfy…

1 … my binder Not really an explanation needed, huh… Just when binder days are there it’s amazing to have it and I feel awesome wearing mine.

 Ships

5-1 Evergreen’s Ever Given

[thechipsinfluencer]

why i made "stay safe" | lyrics and meaning

"stay safe" is a song that i wrote in response to the #ownupbarbie drama, where the royale high community is in shambles and in chaos going towards the misrepresentation of communities of color, especially black and brown communities, and the lack of updates that are racist, homophobic, or fucked up in general.

it's a parody song of drive safe by rich brian, the one sad song that I love to listen. and because this song is a banger and it contains very sad vibes of being left off, caught in the past and unable to enjoy the good times of the present, i decided to switch the lyric's gears and turn it in response to the drama, and to convey a message that i had enough with this shit that the devs of the game were doing, and to wish the royale high community and the entire roblox community, their mental health safety.

verse 1:

someone’s fucking my head, man, you gotta go rogue

2023, well this isn’t matter, you hope

you don’t press gas no more

there’s drama every turn on the road

the meaning behind "someone's fucking my head" is the gaslighting that these devs are trying to do, possibly because one of the mods, Kat, reported that they were told to "fuck it, go back to your daily lives". who the absolute fuck told you to ignore black history month? it literally is an important event to the community, because every one of us is diverse. fuck off. "2023, well this isn't matter" that's what a racist dev say that 2023 black history month event in rh would be gone because the devs are uncomfortable to handle school. i hate this godforsaken community.

there's drama every turn on the road. i fucking mean it. and it's all because of that piece of shit head developer.

Living life, thinking why it looks like 1998

9 year olds, those minors, bloody hell of a show

I’ve fucked up way too long

It’s the twilight of my sanity alone

you know what happened to twitter after someone announces a misconduct or someone got into a drama? CHAOS. it's all chaos every fucking where. i referenced it and it goes way back to the Indonesian demonstration in May 1998 where there's a hell of a riot gone down there, because of our fucking people got tired of hunger in a financial crisis worse than the US Great Depression. and that's what twitter really is. drama, chaos, toxicity, repeat. that's how it happened when thousands or millions of uneducated minors react to a drama, while us, we're just responding and reacting professionally. and yes, it's the twilight (declining) of my sanity alone, and it's gone forever. insanity remains king.

fuck all the good times, it’s so past tense

It’s Armageddon, wake up Barbie

You need to act quick, boycott’s happening

Question every day, “Where’s your heart went?”

i referenced the tag #wakeupbarbie that is a trend on twitter a year ago, because of the need for a royale high valentine's day update. And now, it's like Armageddon. The BHM update is gone. Forever. It's too late to own up to your problems, because we have almost past BHM which is this February. And I wanted to ask a question to Nightbarbie and the mod team: "where the fuck is your heart?" "are you sleeping, sleeping in ignorance?"

pre chorus:

You’ve gone too far, sis, time to get your milk and bread

Your change is worth my wait, here comes better days

"time to get your milk and bread" meaning, that barbie and the mod chief somehow needs to go back to school and learn something precious from professionals and communities of color. if you're being racist, have some black girls to teach you how to become their ally. SAY THEIR NAMES, RESPECT THE BIPOC COMMUNITY. I DON'T CARE. DO IT, IT'S FOR THE GOOD OF EVERYONE.

i'm waiting for your change. you've gone too far, now change to better days.

chorus:

all those thoughts fucked up in my brain

got me going hard, uncertain

i'm trying hard to stop the rain

cause RH doesn't feel the same

i just called to tell you stay safe

see the light in all the dark days

'cause i don't want to fuck this up

‘cause this chaos, man, i had enough

"we don't just sit down and hope for the best, we make the best happen." - Russell Adler (from COD Black Ops Cold War)

I wanted to convey a message to the community, that wherever you are listening to my song, especially Kat from the mod team, stay safe, see the light in the dark. It doesn't feel the same, RH has a lotta work to do, but they are trying hard to make this chaos forgotten enough, I hope.

verse 2:

the smile turned to frowns quick

one ally turned enemy

Learn from your mistakes, girl

don’t fuck up no more

you want to make the school

but you are still dumb

aw man, this shade just got so far

this isn’t spectacular

barbie ISN'T AN ALLY. She's an enemy to the BIPOC community after announcing the update was cancelled. you wanted to make the updated royale high campus, but prioritize BIPOC over everything, prioritize the community FIRST over everything.

BHM project turned into a fighting scene (bruh)

Thank you for addressing this, I don’t know what it means (bruh)

It’s falling, don’t know how to fix it, you need a minute

When you’re owning up to this shit, you’re far from finished

Just own up to your problems, homie, need it right now

Don’t mind the school, get this done ASAP, hands down

This ain’t no sleeping time, we don’t have much time

this drama has no time for sleeping, do it quick. ASAP. hands down, get it done. i don't care about shit that they do, but prioritizing communities is a must for you. IT IS THE TIME FOR TAKING RESPONSIBILITY WITHOUT BIAS.

I hope you understand what the lyrics are. This song is really complex to make and it's even harder for me to sing, so I'm sorry if it's on crack. Thank you.