#they werent posted i just have them in my images pool

[reigningmax]

You just mentioned in your tags the pictures of max hugging his new pr are cute! Do you know where the pictures were posted? I'd love to see them!🥰

Edit: never mind apparently this is a mechanic!!

[violetnotez]

Okay, can we get more of that Mineta being a perv and the guys protecting their s/o from him shit bc??? Damn that was good. Maybe with like, Todoroki, Sero, Shinsou and maybe a girl?? Like Jirou?

Yes babes I gotchu!!! I’m sorry I don’t write for girls, I have t actually written for one and I’m afraid I’ll screw it up-maybe some day! 🥰

Pairings: Shoto x reader, Shinsou x reader

Original Posting: Includes Kaminari, Bakugo, Izuku, and Kirishima

Shoto

◦Your muscles were aching, your head was pounding slightly- you were just over and done with everything in general and just

◦Wanted. To. Sleep.

◦You were sitting on the couch next to Uraraka and Iida, watching out of boredom as Kaminari and Mineta played Mario Kart

◦You got up, excusing yourself from the sofa-

◦“I think Im gonna go take a shower and get ready for bed, night guys,”

◦Iida and Uraraka politely said good night, Mineta’s ears perking when he heard you say ‘shower’

◦The little gears in Mineta’s perverted head began to start spinning, a plan beginning to concoct in his head

◦ Unknowing to you, Mineta had been staring at you all during training and by staring I meant your chest and ass

◦ So of course this boy is gonna try something to see more of that

◦ Mineta faked a yawn, overly stretching his body- “I think Im gonna go take a nap- night!” and zoomed off, confusing the crap out of Kaminari

◦ MIneta followed you slowly from behind, making sure to stay a few feet away so you wouldnt notice him

◦ He waited for you to enter the girls’ bathroom, making sure no one was around once he heard the shower water start to run

◦ He knew he didnt have much time, so he fought the urge to sneak a peak at you in the shower and decided instead to snatch your clothes off from the counter and run to the living room- if his planned work it would be his best plan yet

◦ What a rude awakening once you stepped out of the shower though, only to find your towel sitting there- you remember grabbing your clothes- so why werent they there?

◦ You then noticed the door to the bathroom was slightly cracked open-there was no way you would leave it open like that

◦Your exhaustion instantly turned to annoyance- it had to be one of your classmates

◦ At that point you didnt care who saw you- you wrapped your body in your towel, your wet hair leaving droplets on the floor as you stomped out into the living room

◦ “Oh verrry funny guys- now were the hell is my clothes!?” you yelled out

◦ Kaminari turned around, and short circuited seeing you only dressed in a towel, Iida was rambling about public deceny as his cheeks turned bright red, Uraraka running up to see what was wrong

◦ MIneta was drooling from behind the couch, his fingers mindlessly looking for his phone- he needed the image of a fresh-out-of-the-shower you permanently in his phone

◦ While you were taking a shower, Shoto had went into the kitchen to make himself some food (yes its cold soba what else would it be) and was just chilling and sitting on the counter of the kitchen eating

◦ But when you came in the living room, clad in nothing but a short towel, your legs glistening, and your hair wet....he almost choked on his soba

◦ Holy crap- he thought you were beautiful, of course he did, but you dressed like that- his body physically couldnt handle you looking that sexy

◦ His body instantly went up a few degrees as he unknowingly stared at your chest for a few moments, shaking his head out of the daze, his cheeks red

◦ He got up form the chair, going to see what was wrong- until he noticed a purple blur out of the corner of his eye

◦ He then saw Mineta, his eyes practically bulging out of his sockets, staring at you, his phone out, the camera aimed. At you.

◦ If you have never seen Shoto mad- ohohoh today is the day

◦ Shoto is usually so calm and collected, but right now, he was practically seeing black- all he could think about was stomping that little purple grape into the carpet. He quickly grabs the phone out of Mineta’s hand, Shotos face clearly pissed off

◦ “What the hell, I was doing something-” Mineta started, but instantly squeaked out of fear once he realized who had taken his phone

◦ Shoto was towering over him, aggresive flames licking up his hands

◦ “What exactly were you doing, Mineta-kun?” Shoto’s voice was dangerously low, his tone filled with venom

◦ “I-I-I-hey!” Mineta shrieked, his wide eyes watching as Shoto froze his phone into a solid block of ice “its not my fault your girlfriends hot!”

◦ As Uraraka was trying to help you brainstorm where your clothes could be, you looked up to the sound of Mineta screaming bloody murder

◦ Shoto currently had MIneta’s shirt balled into his left hand, his right hand raised as flames licked up his skin

◦ You instantly put two and two together, runnng over to stop your boyfriend from doing anything he’d regret later

◦ Shoto was in a pure rage mode, but when he felt your hand on his arm, and turned around to see your face, his anger went down some

◦ But also- your towel had kinda slipped from running over, so know it was exposing more of your legs, and your boobs were pushed up even more as your free hand tried to keep up the towel

◦ His cheeks instantly turn red and lewd thoughts popped into his mind- he had to admit it to himself, he could see why Mineta was being so perverted

◦ But it was still inexcusable- He isntantly wrapped you into a hug, blocking your body from sight

◦ Mineta scrambled across the floor, pulling your clothes from under the sofa- “You’re insane! Here-take them back!”

◦ You had never seen the grape run so fast in his life- after that little incident Mineta was too afriad to even be in the same room as you or Shoto

Shinsou

(*in this one the reader is tipsy, so if your not for that, just skip to the next one 💕)

◦ Shinsou sighed, starting to regret letting you drag him to one of these parties you two are always invited to

◦You always begged him to go, but he always declined-until tonight

◦You had decided to go on your own, wearing a tight black dress that outlined all your curves, your hair and makeup accentuating all your best features

◦You looked delicious, and if he could have his way he would keep you home all night in that little dress-but you were persistent, insisting on going

◦The hell he was going to let you go like that by yourself-he was gonna make sure he supervised you all night

◦Once you two got to the party, all the 1-A girls instantly crowded around you and took you to the dance floor, something Shinsou would be caught dead doing

◦He decides to go sit on the couch and just people watch

◦But immediately he was invited to play some pool with Kaminari and Sero, so he reluctantly played for a good hour or so

◦When he went to go check up on you though, oh was he in for a sight

◦You were clearly pretty tipsy, a red cup clutched in your hands as you laughed a little too much, your hips swaying to the music

◦He looked down, though, and his stomach turned- that purple idiot from Class 1-A was definitely checking you out

◦ Shinsou watched as Mineta’s face twisted into an evil grin as he watched your hips sway as well, his height making it perfect to stare at your ass

◦ Shinsou seemed to watch in slow mo as Mineta’s hand went out to grab your ass, Shinsou already predicting he’d try doing something-

◦Shinsou grabbed his hand, earning a terrified squeak from Mineta-

◦ “I wouldn’t do that if I were you.” Shinsou’s face was harsh and his voice cold like ice, making Mineta gulp

◦Your cloudy mind heard Shinsou’ voice, turning around, oblivious to the whole encounter

◦”Hey baby!!” You drawled out happily, wrapping your arms around his neck, placing a sloppy kiss on his cheeck

◦He found your drunkenness kinda adorable, his cheecks flushing-but still, he had to admit that you could easily be taken advantage in this state

◦He was inwardly kicking himself for not watching you and making sure you were safe as you cocked your head confusedly

◦ “Wait arent you the grape guy?” You asked, giggling at Mineta’s pale face, “Your hair is really funny-isn’t it Shinsou?”

◦ Mineta’s face fell, beginning to walk away as he realized you were already taken. You continued to innocently laugh at his hair, somehow thinking it was the funniest shit in the world

◦Shinsou rolled his eyes playfully, happy you didn’t realize what could have happened a few moments ago-if you knew what he was trying to do, you would have been furious

◦He grabbed your wrists gently, pulling you in front of him

◦”Your a giggly drunk, arent you doll?” He asked with a smirk

◦You were still laughing, butterflies forming in your stomach- “I’m not drunk...I’m just-dancing!” You argued back, a hiccup escaping out of your lips

◦”Uh-Huh, and my hairs not purple.”

◦You began to protest, something Shinsou knew you would do-you were stubborn and never wanted to listen to him unless you absolutely needed to

◦,”Alright, kitten-“ He sighed, throwing your body over his shoulder, “I think it’s time for us to go home.”

I’m so sorry I literally have no motivation to write for Sero, so I hope these two boys are enough! 💕💕💕

[fizzingwizard]

Tumblr has literally gone INSANE.

I just checked my “flagged posts” for the first time in a while and was reminded of the one from Sims 4 that they decided was definitely Bad and didn’t allow my appeal lol it’s Sims 4 with no mods

Anyway, there’s a LOAD of new posts Tumblr has decided are now in violation! They are:

- Screencaps from Tsubasa Chronicle, a manga for twelve year olds!

- Pictures of baby turtles!

- A person petting a cat!

- LIKE EVERYTHING FROM SIMS 4 I’VE EVER CAPPED. What is with that? Is it because they’re sometimes wearing swimsuits because they’re at the pool??? oh the horror

- Someone’s totally SFW Daiken fan art, like, you can sort of see Ken’s bare shoulder in one image if you squint, but ONE MILLION MOMS ARE HORRIFIED!!!! STOP SCARRING THE CHILDREN!!!

- An even more SFW fan art of Hikari holding a camera????????

- The scene from Tri - Soushitsu where Yamato tells Agumon he doesn’t hate Taichi. Saying you don’t hate someone is taboo, WAY too touchy-feely, that could lead to the other kind of feels, the Satanic kind that should be saved for after marriage!

- The scene from Tri where Sora makes some food????

- The scene from Digimon Adventure where Plotmon looks sad because Vamdemon and the scene from Tri - Soushitsu where she’s all cuddled up with Hikari

- BEAUTIFUL ARTWORK OF NATURE AND INSECTS FROM A GHIBLI MOVIE I REPEAT A GHIBLI MOVIE

??????? seriously what the fuck??? somehow the algorithm has gotten even WORSE over time?? my guess is what they do is if they find one nsfw post on a blog they mark the entire blog and everything on it as adult content. that’s RIDICULOUS.

Also I can only appeal the ones I posted, but the rest say “This post was flagged because somewhere in your reblog there might be adult content.” What does that even MEAN. In my reblog?? Meaning something I did??? But - but I didn’t even comment on ANY of them????? I just hit reblog???? Do these get put back if the original poster appeals them or are they just locked forever because someone who reblogged might have been inappropriate?????? (except they totally werent)

i mean... could tumblr be more of a useless garbage dump

lots of people I used to follow have moved on... maybe its time for me too. any suggestions?? dont say discord. there’s gotta be another website thats friendly for text or images buuuut my guess is maybe no and thats why there are still people like me hanging out on this shitty excuse for a website xP

[trixiesouphanes]

Okay so this isnt a cool quote just the really fucked up dream I just had

So I was in the pool alone after browsing instagram all day and I was thinking about this one account that just posted a bunch of absolutely beutiful pictures and I was sad cuz I might be only to be that pretty if I had as good as a photographer/camera as them

So I went to the pool and for some reason it was night and there were a lot of other people there trying to figure out the puzzle answer for a door and I couldnt figure it out either

The next day I hopped back in the pool and there was no one there at like a really pretty sunset and at the time I was thinking about the pretty pictures on instagram I just had my arms on the side of the pool and my head down staring at the sunset

I decided to go inside when I catch a glimpse of a dude and for the stupidest reason looked like Vance waggoner but like the bojack horseman version... yeah

But also this other lady about the same age holding like a tablet I think? There were both smiling crazy as hell so I just rushed inside

I didnt think much of it thinking they were just playing a game and then it skipped to the next day, I went back in the pool

I was still alone, just kinda chillin and swimming around, then I wanted to back inside again cuz it was sunset again. But i turned to get out and my top had unhooked itself. Outside of dreams, my pool is in my backyard, surrounded by a million trees, so no one would see me put it back on

I was walking towards the stairs and i didnt realize that 'they' were still out but I was putting them back in so I didnt matter

But as soon as I started walking towards the stairs I see the man and the woman, both staring at me with these horrible smiles. The dude is behind the woman, and the woman is behind the tablet she was holding, a large tablet but somehow I knew that the camera was open. I tried to jump so I could swim away but I was too late...

I heard the sound of a camera starting to record and my jumping did not help me, I tried to say something like "IM TEN" to get them to stop or at least get the video taken down from wherever they post it, but they had stopped the recording by time I did, and they started running as fast, as fast as they could away from me and I just stood in the pool and cried.

I went back inside and who was waiting for me there? The man and the woman. In the dream my parents werent home, late shifts I think

They started trying to lecture me about how pretty I actually looked and I might feel ugly but the problem is the camera all the time

I cant rememeber word for word what they said except for this one quote I cant get out of my mind,

"You think you need a lot of makeup, but you've got it. We took this in the pool and you looked stunning anyway" and then he took the tablet and showed me the picture they took from the first day of being alone in the pool

The lighting, the aura, the angle, and just the general sound of the image was all amazing. For once, *I* was amazing. I didnt want to but they had started to change my mind slightly. I was sitting on the poolside with my head on my arms staring at the sunset with long, beautiful, wavy hair stretching out in all directions behind me.

And then, they showed me the short video

I had jumped at the second I saw the guy take a screenshot of me, my tits were perked up but you couldnt see the look of horror creep onto my face yet

And for the most horrible reason, they were out, up, and I had looked so... grown. From behind me the sunset had not only pretty colours but also did that thing where the sun had those pretty shapes from a line that always happens in movies

I hated it. I hated how much I loved it. It was so pretty, *I* was so pretty and I was exposed. At a shot, I tried to take the tablet from him but he was too fast and ran off, driving away.

I then turned to the woman. She told me her name was sherry, so at least that was good to know, I checked my phone after getting a notification of them posting something and I checked

It was me, the first picture was my long hair out, and the second made me cry.

I saw hundereds, if not, THOUSANDS of comments of people telling eachother my age, my school, my address, and worst of all, my profile

In seconds to minutes, I immediately started getting spammed with dms telling me how pretty I was, and that they wanted to see more, others telling me I was a slut, more telling me if I wanted to do "photography" with them...

I was sobbing. I had how real it all seemed. Then for some reason I wasnt in the same house anymore. I was upstairs looking down at a staircase and I saw the woman

I pushed her, obviously, she was threatining me with a taser if I said anything to anyone. So I pushed her

I took the cord she had the laser powered with and ripped it apart, and then started smashing glass on her wherever I could find it.

She was knocked out by now, and I ran and sat down screaming about why I had done this, and why this was happening

And in that moment of absolute helplessness, that desperation for something to stop going wrong, something to stop it, I rememebered theres a landline in the house

Ya know brain, I couldve gotten a dm from someone saying how they knew this was all something horrible happening, and that they wanted to help me. That would have been something really nice, brain. But no, you had to make me fill up with white hot rage and stomp to the landline phone

(This is where it gets worse)

I saw the woman was up and she was going to tell people that j was insane and was going to check me into a mental institution so no one could fight against her

I was trying to call 911 but I kept not getting the numbers right, because dreams suck like that. While I was doing this, she too, was calling the cops

I finally got the numbers right and waited for them to pick up but I heard nothing. It rang and rang for what felt like at least two whole minutes but... *nothing*

That's what did it. That's what made me feel like my life was over and I was going to throw up. Nit the picture, that would somehow eventually go away. But a mental institution? I would never get out to live

Then I heard sirens, and i wanted to destroy her

So I got up and grabbed everything I could to knock her unconscious again, and whatever didnt it still felt a little good to beat the shit out if her

I went outside and for some reason, dream reasons probably, the cops werent there anymore, it was my mom

It was dark as hell outside, and I had forgotten about how I was still wearing my swimsuit. My mom was trying to be angry, thinking that I had been swimming at dark, then she saw me crying and covered in bruises and broken glass.

I told her that sherry was still inside after showing people porn of me, "bastards"

I watched my mom call the police and when we both went inside, the Vance guy was there looking at what had happened to his partner

My mom tore him to shreds with screaming, and I could see he was about to start running, so I slowly creeped back outside and was going to grab him from the side door

I heard his footsteps going fast so I quickly opened up the door and grabbed him, threw him to the ground, and bit his neck. With my jaw chomped down, I jumped up, with a gory mess surrounding me

The police arrived and while I was thinking about how I was going to say something like "temporary insanity" in court, I woke up

Like I said, that dm could have saved me. If you see this happeneing, just tell them that its *okay* that everything is going to get better, that their life isnt over.

But I'm awake now, no swimsuit, no glass in my arms, not a slice of someone's jugular clamped down with blood filling my cheeks

Just a few tears and the hate for my brain

[winchester-reload]

I accidentally drunk-posted this to ao3 last night, so I might as well post it here too since it’s episode-related. There’s a second half I’m not done with yet, but this bit stands on its own as a coda, or whatever.

Pairing: Dean/Cas

WC: 1400

tags: first, kiss, angst, episode 14x12 pre-coda

also on ao3

Cas came into the bunker like a thunderstorm, expression cloudy and eyes hot enough to start brush fires. He dropped the big book that’d been tucked close to his chest onto the library table in front of Dean, and it coughed dust as the water-warped pages accordioned together, fluffed up again. Kicked the old, thread-bound cover back, revealing the yellow vellum page; Possessionem, atque tutelam &, Vatican Ed. 1723, it said.

Dean uncurled from his book, hands slipping to the edge of the mahogany as he pulled in tight. Cas wasn’t supposed to be back yet. Last text Dean got said maybe Tuesday would see him in Kansas, and that meant Dean wasn’t supposed to have to deal with this. He should have already been gone.

Wonderful.

He cleared his throat. “Who’s your friend?” he asked, trying to keep it light.

“Oh, that?” Cas puffed, carelessly spilling into the chair opposite Dean. The airiness of his response was drowned out by the vinegar he had pickling his words. “It’s a book, Dean.”

“Well, shit, Cas. You don’t say—?”

“Yes. It’s a book that Jack and I managed to track to— and retrieve from—a catacomb in New York. Now, ask me why we went to all that trouble.”

Dean hesitated. Then, “Why?” because he was nothing if not a glutton for punishment.

“Well, because we heard it had some particularly potent protection sigils, which, might— ” He pecked an elbow onto the tabletop, twisted his hand in an overly-animated open shrug “—hypothetically—be beneficial to someone harboring an unwanted invader. Why? What did you do this last week?”

It was baited. Dean didn’t need the all caps, period-after-each-word, version of it to see that. He chewed his cheeks, slid his copy of Vonnegut away. Dog-eared pages flat against the table now until someone else bothered to pick it up. “Okay,” he said scratching his neck. “I’m gonna go out on a limb here and guess you talked to Sam.”

“What would give you that impression?”

“Cas, it’s a ma’lik box—”

“Yes—” Cas said, mocking, “I’m familiar with them.”

It triggered that little muscle twitch at the back of Dean’s jaw. “Okay, here we go—” and Cas shot back out of his chair.

“Jack and I were out trying to find literally anything that might help you, and all the while you were out building some stupid, secret box to go bury yourself in— And you weren’t even going to tell me—? So, yes, Dean. Let’s “go”,” he spat, throwing the quotes. “Why are you so impossible?”

“Alright, back off—” Dean bristled. He wanted to keep it civil—fuck, he needed to. The last thing he wanted was to have to ruminate on a fight with Cas for the next forever-billion-years, but the asshole was a button-pusher. Always had been. “I get it, okay? You’re pissed. You wanna be pissed, be pissed, but it ain’t gonna change anything. Billie said what she said.”

Cas rounded on him surprisingly quick, leveled a look so dark, it practically bred its own shadows. “No,” he said, flat, “you’re right, of course, it doesn’t change anything. But do you know what does, Dean? The fact that you’re lying!”

A fingernail of shame suddenly surprised Dean, twisted into his chest. “No—” he stumbled. This was getting away from him quick. Too quick. He scoffed, smiled, tried to brush it away. “Uh, no. You’re wrong—”

“Uh, yes. I’m right—” Cas contested. “See, because if Billie’s answer was to bury you with Michael at the bottom of the Pacific, there would have been no death note to hand you— because, in that scenario, Dean, you’d never die! And maybe Sam doesn’t know that, but I do!” He plucked his chest, tie swinging as he leaned in. It dredged up all those old, angelic chills Dean had filed in the archives of his memory; the weight Cas carried with him like churning ozone when he was all keyed up. “So, why don’t you tell me what the book really said?” he suggested with a low growl. “What you’re actually running from.”

Dean swallowed, tried to hold Cas’ eye, failed. They were close enough now that Dean was all but boxed in his chair, and butterflies played his pulse in response, kicked his heart up into his throat. “Okay, you’re—” he started. Then, “But, that’s totally—” and he stopped, watched Cas’ balled fists turn white at the knuckles. Fuck. “Did you tell Sam?”

“No, but I will tell him. I’ll tell him right now.”

“Don’t—”

“Then what did it say?”

“It said I die old,” Dean muttered, and it was like prying nails from his ribs just to get it out. “ It said I die happy. Natural causes. No Michael. No monsters.”

Cas blinked, caught off guard. The anger in his face diffused then fused again into something so much more knotted up. “I don’t understand—”

“There’s nothing to understand because it doesn’t matter! All the rest of ‘em said I die bad, Cas. All of ‘em! Michael burnin’ me out while he destroys the world—!”

“How does ignoring this one spot of hope fix that?”

“That ain’t hope! I don’t know what to do with that— I don’t even know where to begin to try to make something like that happen! The box is what fixes it! The box, I know how to do!”

Cas’ fingers spread, hands coming up like he wanted to strangle Dean, but couldn’t bring himself to get close enough. “Did it ever occur to you—?” he said slowly. Eyes rolling closed before peeling open again. “—that, maybe, your first step in accomplishing a happy ending, is to stop running? To stop this— suicidal ideation? To just... love, and let people love you?”

Dean shook his head, Cas’ words pooling at the hinge of his jaw and making it hurt. “It wouldn’t matter,” he said, looking at the bookshelves, the corners. Anywhere but Cas.

“Why—?”

“Because no one's gonna love me—” Dean spilled. “Who’s gonna love me like this? An archangel stuffed up in my attic and the rest of me so fucking screwed to hell, I can’t even sleep on a good night!”

Cas balled hands into his own chest, shoulders high and body tight like they were both about to go over some invisible cliff if he didn’t stop the vehicle soon. “I love you!” he pleaded. “Sam loves you! Your family— You are not unloved, Dean!” He had tears in his eyes, but it was easier to ignore them.

Dean shut his eyes, heat washing him. The image of Cas dying on an old couch at the back of the barn flared fresh in his brain— I love you, I love all of you— He tried to swallow it, but it was too sour. Tried to rub it away with the heel of his hand, but it only spread, made speckles. He shook his head, instead, pulled his already loose collar looser. “No, I… Not that kinda love,” he said quietly.

Cas suddenly deflated, arms falling to his sides, weight shifting between his feet. He sunk to the floor at Dean’s knees, looked up, face raw and open and done. “Sam loves you,” he said again quietly. “Jack loves you. Your mother—”

“Cas—”

“—loves you…” He suddenly touched Dean’s knee, stretched up onto his own, wedged between Dean’s legs, quiet and hot, cheeks wet with tears as he pulled all that electric energy in. “But, I—” He grabbed Dean’s face, cradled it between his hands as Dean’s fingers clawed into the fabric at Cas’ sleeve— holding him there, holding him back, he wasn’t sure which. “I love you,” Cas whispered. Something in Dean cracked, split open. He let their foreheads brush. Their noses.

Let Cas kiss him, soft and slow.

Cas kissed like he’d imagined it a thousand times, mapped it. Studied it over and over and over again, until every jump of his lips timed with the thrum of Dean’s heartbeat. The curl of his fingers at Dean’s jaw.

Then it broke, quick as it started, but Cas and all his hasty energy didn’t move back. Neither did Dean. “I don’t know another way to say it,” Cas admitted to the small space between them. His voice finally wavered, broke. His hands uncurled, flat palms drying the tears Dean didn’t know he’d lost. “You have to tell me because I don’t know.”

Dean suddenly remembered to breathe and it came in sharp and unsure. It came in with the smell of Cas and a hit of his blue eyes close enough to taste. Dean swallowed the salt building in the back of his throat and dug his voice out of Cas’ rubble. “That was it,” he whispered back. “You just said it.”

And it seemed utterly ridiculous how everything suddenly felt so simple.

[survivordivergent]

EPISODE 4 - “I WANT TO REACH MY GOATENTIAL” - GEO

Welcome to Survivor Divergent, where's it's 14 inactive people and 6 people actually playing

I'm pretty damn busy today grading final assignments, and I'm pretty sure my frustration yesterday was enough to paint a target on me going forward, but I don't much care. This tribe's work ethic is for shit. I don't belong here. I can't just sit back and not do things. Ed can't, either, because it's such a deep-seated belief of mine that it permeates through him too. Not submitting things is just not my speed.

What pisses me off more than anything is that so far, I've been the only one to put in any concrete work. Percy got the theme based on a writing prompt. Payton's been offering suggestions. Dani's offered to do both the poster and the write-up. Meanwhile, I did the poster (deliberately at a level below what I know I can do, because I've been saying all along that I'm not good with Photoshop.) I did the write-up. Last time I felt so alone in one of these creative challenges, my tribe lost and I was the one sent packing at the next tribal council.

It's bullshit. I hate it I hate it I hate it. And while I love the people on this tribe based on our limited interactions, Peter can fuck off back to the inactivity pool from whence he came. Lucy can find a clue while she's busy finding a last name. And Geo... man, Geo is the biggest disappointment of all, only because we've SEEN what he can do. And it's like he's choosing not to do it. I get that we all have lives and that we're all super busy. I'm running myself so ragged that I'm going to hibernate clear through the holidays.

But that's the key difference: you make time if it matters to you. And if this game doesn't matter to anyone else, why should it matter to me? More importantly, if I get to jury, where's my motivation to vote for any of these people who couldn't — or wouldn't — step up when they're needed?

This is frustrating. I miss Megara Tribe. I miss Bondoso Tribe. I even miss Drohend Tribe. I like tribes that work hard, like each other and trust each other as a result. And this tribe fits maybe one of those three criteria. It sucks.

Six: The amount of posts in our tribe chat per day. God damn.

I'm pretty sure the hosts hate six. Like.

On 12/18/16, at 12:09 AM, Payton Rodriguez wrote: > also, y’all are rigging this against the 90% inactive tribe

On 12/18/16, at 12:10 AM, Payton Rodriguez wrote: > its not mine and ed’s fault that the rest of them are flops like if we went offline for three days the world would fall apart and you know it

no, i dont think they're actively rigging. i think my tribemates are sabatoging and we're not gonna have fucking numbers going into merge. sluts.

Okay so it's been a while, let's see if I can catch up. Last time I made a confessional I was stuck on trying to find the Erudite idol. I was so frustrated, and then we lost reward. I didn't want there to be a chance that someone from Six would find the idol, since the clues stack, so I panicked and asked Melissa for help. She figured it out in 2 seconds bc stupid me doesn't know the alphabet or how to count. Ugh. So we work through the next few pages, and then we get stuck again. But after looking at it for a few minutes, I realized I needed to use the keypad on a telephone to get the next word, and I figured it out. To show some good faith, I tell Melissa right away, but the next page.... whew. I looked at that page for a good half hour and couldn't figure it out. Then I'm reading what's on the page and it looks like song lyrics? So I decided to google them. I copy and paste it into google, and i noticed in the search bar are words I did not see before. So I go back to the page and highlight everything. Sneaky Jenna hid the link to the next blog in white lettering on the page. Very clever. So I go to the next blog, and I need another password. Crap. Well, I'm hoping that whoever is looking for this idol on the Six tribe gets stuck at the password too, so they wont be ahead of me. I decide to not tell Melissa that I figured it out. I want to see if she comes to me with that information. And she does, the next day. So I know I can actually trust Melissa. Like, I know I'm in an alliance with her, but I wanted to like, test her trust? I guess? So there's where we are on the idol journey...

I've been talking to Jill bc, you know, former Candor, and she brings up starting an alliance with Kyle. Me, already being in an alliance with Kyle, am completely down for this. Jill's plan is to have a former Candor/Amity alliance with me, Kyle, and Will, and bring in Melissa as a 5th so we have majority. Kyle and I, already being in an alliance with Melissa, are completely down for this. We decide to tell Melissa about this alliance, because we want Ugly Fruti to be our core, our majority within the majority, if that makes sense. Melissa seems fine with it.

So then we wind up winning the Battleship Immunity, and I am really enjoying not going to Tribal. If we can keep it this way until merge, that would be fantastic. Things have been really quiet around the tribe lately. I haven't been on much because of things irl, but I'm going to try and be around more. I dont want to be first boot from this tribe for inactivity, even though there are people who are way less active than me. I'm just hoping our movie poster is enough to win reward so we can continue on that Erudite clue...

Every single day, I feel myself slowly becoming someone that I am not. And honestly, I kind of like that.

I think Payton is pretty set on getting to know who I am but I'll keep bouncing that carrot in front of her face because the longer I keep her focused on my identity over the game that I want to play, the better it is for me in the long run. Payton is a threat because shes so talkative (albeit annoying as hell) and has Percy in her back pocket. She even came to me and said,

[10:14 PM] Payton Rodriguez: So I think I kinda decided Percy would be safe if we went to tribal again, at least from my vote? He really did help with making that poster look good

Of course that's a valid excuse but you should be willing to vote off anyone at any given moment in time. I don't care who we're going after, but I kind of think that Peter does need to go next. He's just going to do whatever people tell him to do later and he contributes almost nothing to my game, except acting like a little pawn for the time being.

I still have my Abnegation idol, so I'm going to hold onto it as long as possible. I think this is an idol I need to use on myself only because if I try to use it to make a huge move, like playing it on the target to get rid of a threat, then it could backfire and if my own target ends up getting saved, I could go out on a revote. If I just had the regular old thing, then I'd be more willing to be #dauntless and whip it out to save someone else and *ciera voice* make big movez.

Also I'm being really patient with myself and trying to make a lot of spelling/grammar errors and ignoring most forms of punctuation. I want to, in addition, have perfect grammar, spelling, punctuation on my regular account so that people are somewhat confused about my identity. I'm still going with my "pretty, spoiled girl" image that I'm adopting so that everyone thinks that I'm two completely different people. Maybe its working, maybe its not. But I need to start cutting the bullshit and start being as realistic as possible. No more talking about the unrealistic life I don't have, but being real. I have to adopt true parts of my own personality so I'm not looking like a bullshit artist. I have that tumblr blog, so maybe i should share it with the people so they choose to follow me and understand that maybe this is something i'm committing to. we'll have to see how that works out for me, of course.

ok i know im not supposed to but i cant help but get uncharted flashbacks rn im sure its not but lake is giving me ari vibes

Gosh it's been a long time since I've made one of these.

Nothing has really happened. We've been winning immunity and I haven't really helped at all.

I've been trying to staybtalkative with the most active members of the tribe and I feel like there's at least 2 or 3 people that could be voted out before me.

I feel so bad cause I havent done one of these in a long time. Im usually good with confessionals <.< sorry hosts.

I feel like im wadting time with the amity idol but oh well ill keep chugging along

Dani scares me. Theyre really smart, they know who i am, and i feel like theyre not playing with abnegation (obviously they werent from thay tribe) and theyre gping to use it against me. I want to get her oyt, but i think shes better connected to people, therefore attempting to do so will get me oyt instead, and i want to play with loyalty, i dont want to ve a flipper again and again. Dani is in an alliance with me so that wont be good as the others may be wary of me.

Im concerned as well as people arent actually talking that much to me. They dont message me, only dani and payton. I love payton or logan if it is them and i believe theyre going to be a bigger target ahwad of me in the future.

I want to play a very goat game. Previously my competitors and friends viewed me as someone who cant win and is very well aligned and a flipper. I havemt made ftc, and thats my goal. I dont care about anything else. If im loyal and very nonthreatening, people will want to take me as they view me as a goat and i could potentially use that strategy to win? I want to reach my goatential, and see whether i can lose at the end or not. Hopefully i dont.

Im typing this on my phone and i didnt put the heading, sorry for all my messiness. #Goatential #Geoat #loyalty #noflippers #mystrategy

I want to conspire to vote Dani out. I think that might be too risky right now but I don't trust her.

I'm glad we won tribal! But I really, REALLY want to send Dani home. Like, yesterday.

I'm tired of people outside the game talking to me about this game. Stop.

Um, it's been a confusing past few days. The biggest things to come out of them:

1. Six won immunity! Woo hoo! Payton was trying to argue that they were throwing it, but I refuse to believe that. We cam together as a tribe and we showed how much more effective we are when we work together, and that's that. So I guess another way of saying it would be, I don't care what they did. I care about what we did. And we crushed it. And frankly, as great as Payton has been for moral support and activity, her frequent willingness to couch thoughts with 'if's and 'but's really rubs me the wrong way. That's not the way winners think.

1a. That said, Payton is still my #1 for now. She's got a tremendous grip on the tribe socially and is realistically one of the shot-callers around here. The longer I can stay under the radar and vote with her, the more likely I can make merge. And then we're golden.

2. Danielle approached me with 'evidence' that Payton took the advantage, but it was very... sketchy. Which is not to say I don't believe it. I had my suspicions. But I wonder if Dani is trying to throw Payton under the bus for something. There seems to be some bad blood there for reasons I can't fathom.

3. Payton approached me with 'evidence' that Danielle or Geo are fabricating receipts, but it was very... sketchy. Which is not to say I don't believe it. It seems like something both would do, based on what little I know of them. But I wonder if Payton is trying to throw Dani under the bus for something. There seems to be some bad blood there for reasons I can't fathom.

3a. Déjà-vu is the sensation of seeing something you feel like you've seen before.

4. This Erudite idol is maddening. 'Center from the start?' What the hell is that??? I've tried everything – the letter a, the titles on each of the blogs, the word 'hosts' which is the 'center' block on the 'start' page, every past clue in every single blog... I know the clue points to a page on one of the blogs I've already visited, as opposed to the latest one. But I'm so stuck and it's so frustrating and I can only hope others are as hopelessly irritated as I am. I need that next clue, and hopefully this time it'll be something new rather than something I'd already been trying. Talk about bad luck.

5. Peter has been very quiet, but at least he showed up for the comp.

6. Lucy has been very quiet, but at least she showed up for the comp.

7. Geo has been very quiet, but at least he showed up for the comp.

3a. Déjà-vu is the sensation of seeing something you feel like you've seen before.

I will make a longer confessional if I survive tribal, which honestly, I think I will. Me, Kyle, and Melissa are in alliances with pretty much everyone on the tribe, so I think we are fine. The vote should be for Amanda, which is a relief for more than one reason. One, she's getting on everyone's nerves, and two, its so weird for people to be talking about Amanda and to remember its not me. There's only room for one Amanda in this game, hun! Ahhh anyway, after this tribal, we are supposed to be on a holiday break for a while, but I have a feeling before that happens, we are gonna be split into 3 tribes of 5. I'm really hoping not, but if so, I have Kyle and/or Melissa with me, or that I end up on a tribe with a Four Tribe majority. Ahh okay, I'm out til later