#they were so good and so heckin valid

[rustic-space-fiddle]

Hello! I just wanna say your art is heckin valid! I love your style and your ocs 👀 Your treasure planet pictures were the first to capture me and I was entranced ever since. Keep up the good work!

(Holy good gravy, this is from 2020 how THE HECK did I not see this?!)

Thank you so much!💙✨

[thedialup]

tumblr: uwu non passing trans people are so valid ur so valid and cute and sexy and I like you way better that way ur so valid so don't do anything at all to even try to assert ur transness or be gross and scary and smelly and trans in the way I don't want you to be bc ur so heckin cute and valid just give up. X333

also tumblr: if you mention anything to do with ur agab you will NEVER PASS you will NEVER BE LOVED you will BE UGLY you will be HUNG AT THE STAKE AND HAVE YOUR ENTRAILS STREWN THROUGHOUT THE TOWN because you were trans in a way I didn't like ITS NEVER EVER GOOD OR SAFE TO BE TRANS EVER JUST GIVE UP

[tsareviich]

i swear i had a lot in my head but not i'm as head empty as that gif of vasily. but seriously when i read the books i didn't put much thought to vasily ( you know, similar to LB ) so i was surprised when i saw a blog for him come up on my dash. and then i started to see you on my dash more and i was like okay!! i can see it. i can see him being more than just what we saw on the pages. and like tbh i always enjoyed reading your and sarah's threads even before i became friends with you guys. it was always so obvious the care you put into his characterization to create a multi dimensional character that was not only fun to write with but also made sense in the canon material he came from

i am seriously so thankful to have you as an rp partner and it's been so fun to throw the idiots into many different situations and i can't wait to see what we come up with in the future for them. you're an amazing rp partner and an even better friend and i'm very thankful to have you in my life. even if your portrayal of vasily is so good that i both love him and want to shake him on a daily basis

-- give me validation.

i'm sure you weren't the first one that though that tbh. but i'm glad you were willing to give me a chance bc idk what i'd do without you and the idiots. i love them (and you obvs) so heckin much okay.

you're stuck with me forever <3

[dragonfruitsoup]

road to ninja merc akatsuki was such wasted potential. please. pls. give. bring them back. [pounds fists on table] BRING THEM BACK!!!

[not-your-fucking-kacchan]

Alrighty then! Ima go for it! Believe it or not it is neko based. But, with a male y/n to be exact lmao. The quirk being Cat: The user is given cat like ears and tail, however they are givin feline like instincts that they can’t necessarily control. But the user is aloud to transform into a house cat, and can look like their natural hair color. The user can only meow in this form, they can’t talk like a human duh. The user has cat like senses, being able to hear very well, see in the dark, and have really good balance. The user can talk to/ attract felines alike mostly house cats as they seem to be the most popular in Japan. They are known to be flexible, and have balanced landing. And oml that is heckin long look i just copied and pasted from the last time i wrote about this quirk i hope you can forgive me. 😔 But anywho, i can just see Aizawa being absolute friends with this chad, like maybe y/n is a therapist to kids because he can literally comfort them due to his quirk, or just like a detective of sorts because of he can turn into a cat and be an excellent spy. Im so terribly sorry if this is long, i guess this more of an idea giving thing, maybe some inspiration for ya? I wanna see what you come up with. I think it’s about time we get some Neko Dilfs in our lives. 😎 what do you think?

Ooo jejkdbfkd I haven't even watched that fricken program and I'm already thinking of chat noir 💀

But of course I had to make it cute and romantic <3 sort of

Masterlist <3

Aizawa x Male!Neko!Reader

It was hard not to stare at Shouta Aizawa when you first met him. He was in his usual outfit, teaching his class 1-A and training with them when you had arrived at the training area, where the class was being held.

You had just been hired as a new teaching assistant because of your reputation as an underground hero, and their thoughts were that it would be best to have another underground hero to teach you the ropes.

He was standing there in all his glory, looking over the kids and making sure that they were making the most out of their training by giving them pointers and keeping track of their progress. It was so hot.

You tried your best not to fanboy over the poor man but you really just can't help yourself at this point. What makes it so much worse is your daddy issues, so this is kind of like waving candy in front of a kid and being like "Yeah you can only look, and you can't eat it. Have fun!", as if!

You were a complete simp for this man, and you always have been since you first heard of him.

He had taken some time out to train you alone in both the physical and mental areas of being a teaching assistant, and his very few complements and praises stuck in your mind like glue.

"I see... A cat quirk, huh? I'll tolerate you because cats are my favourite animal, -but only because of that."

That was a complement in your eyes, at least. He likes you! And he acknowledges your quirk!!

As of right now, you're halfway through your training and you've gotten pretty close to your mentor, though you've told him nothing of your dream to meet him, or of how much his mentoring really means to you. You both regularly chat and you pride yourself on even having made him laugh on some occasions, though he has absolutely no clue how much you admire and crush on him, and he never will.

At least, that's what you think.

In reality, Shouta Aizawa is a much smarter man than you give him credit for, and he could tell from the get-go that you were crushing on him, and hard. He had grown a soft spot for you in the time you've gotten to train and work together, and he had grown to love those twitchy, fluffy little ears of yours, and he wanted to pet your tail so direly, because this man is just an absolute sucker for cats.

He could also tell you had some rather substantial daddy issues too, from your aversion to part from him and your inferiority and abandonment issues, along with your constant need for validation. He found it very, very amusing that you thought he couldn't tell.

As you sit down with him in the faculty room, alone, you have to physically restrain your tail from patting happily against the sofa, your eyes, pupils as wide as the iris itself, avoid making contact with those of your hero.

He chuckles at your shyness despite that fact that it's been almost half a year now since you've met, and the two of you, along with the entire class, have been through thick and thin together and bonded like superglue.

Why were you so shaky around him all the time?

He sits with his legs crossed, an arm slung over the back of your couch and behind you, making you almost quiver as you keep averting his gaze out of sheer embarrassment at this point. He had grown to truly respect you and your accomplishments, knowing about your past with providing free therapy for kids.

That was one specific thing that caused his respect for you to increase dramatically when he first heard about it though, especially since it hit so close to home. His students have been though so much already that most rookie, full-time heroes haven't had to deal with yet, but somehow none of them classified for therapy? Or could even get it at a reasonable price? It was a longstanding struggle that Aizawa had fought long and hard against for his kids, yet he didn't have the power to do anything more for them until you came along. And you did it for free?!

He knew that he wouldn't have much trouble getting along with you at least, since your moral standpoints seemed to allign quite nicely.

He turned out to be right, although somehow no amount of psychology training could help you resolve your own issues, apparently.

"Why are you so tense all the time? 's not like I'm about to drag you to the nearest dark alley and threaten you for spare change. You need to relax"

All he receives in response is a shaky nod, and that's when he gets fed up, taking your chin in his hand and tilting your head towards him, forcing you to make eye contact with him. Your pupils are blown wide with love and adoration, much like that of a real cat, and your left ear twitches slightly, prompting him to pet it as he leans in to press a peck to your lips.

You freeze. It was like you had been struck with Todoroki's ice, because you could only sit in shock as your long time crush kissed you. He's just so dreamy and hot, and you can't stop your cheeks from going bright red again.

"I-... I-... S-so..."

"Let's date."

You nearly faint.

You can't help but ask if you're dreaming, and this only ilicits a low chuckle from the dark haired man which has your knees and heart weak, and as you look back at him and take the sight in fully, your little heart skips a beat. You must be the luckiest guy in the world right now.

[bitchassbucky]

Ｂｏｔｈｅｒ

📎Word Count: 2.2k

📎Warning/s: smut! minors DNI. mean!fuckboy!bucky x f!reader. unprotected sex. little to no foreplay, because, well, he just wants to get his dick wet. denied orgasm :( no aftercare too lol he’s an asshole in this one. messy facial! some heckin’ words.

📎A/N: jesus fuckiNG CHRIST okay this is one of my longer fics, i’m trying to get back into writing long fics again so, bear with me. fuckboy!bucky playlist to accompany you while reading this <3 

📎reblogs, likes, and comments are all welcomed! shower me with validation pls

📎Masterlist || Ask || AFTERDARK

The bass line and the drumbeat made your heart pump in sync. The room reeked of cheap drinks and expensive perfume—sweaty patrons swirling, mingling around, keeping their drinks cold, their hearts warm.

Chatter peaked when the band finished the song, a round of applause rising the frontman’s ego. The spotlight shone brightly on him, the stage lights hitting his back, lighting up his silhouette with pinks and purples.

He beams with adrenaline. All perfect smiles.

Slinging his stickered guitar to the side, he speaks into the mic, “thank you all for coming. We’ve been The Commandos. Goodnight!” The frontman flashes his million-dollar, megawatt smile and bows, earning another applause from the audience.

The rest of the band slinked out the back, bowing, giving out air-kisses and waves. Another band piles onto the stage, waving hello to the gathering crowd.

You sigh, the bottom of your shoes sticking to the dirty floor of the bar. The overhead lights of the bar a bright yellow contrast to the stage’s red hue. The beer in your hand condensing, the tips of your fingers damp in the process. The warmth of the place piling on your impatience.

Pushing yourself off the bar, you make your way to the back, one thing echoing in your mind. Familiar faces crowd your vision, sending a polite smile their way.

A door stands in front of you, the wood stained with stickers and posters and autographs. You knock twice before turning the knob.

“Where’s Bucky?” You say, leaning against the door frame. The door slowly swings open.

A blonde man, what’s-his-face, looks at you and puts down a pair of drumsticks, “‘Dunno what to tell ya, but he’s not here.”

Your roll your eyes, sending him a mirthless smile, “yeah, obviously. I was hoping if you could tell him to meet me tonight.”

Steve—you suddenly remembered his name—eyed you head to foot, a smirk plastered on his face, “Sounds important. Why don’t you hang out with us while waiting for him?”

A chuckle escapes your lips, “no, thanks. I’ll meet him outside.”

Steve makes a face, quirking a light brow to the rest of the group. All of them sharing the same look, “alright. Suit yourself.”

The clock ticks just ten minutes after 11, your patience growing thin as a needle. A gaggle of drunk patrons stumbles out the door when you spot him—leather jacket, distressed, ripped pants.

“Where’s my ring?” Without missing a beat.

Bucky’s lips quirk into a smirk, “whoa, baby, we fucked once,” he made you come thrice, “and you’re asking for a ring already?”

A shiver runs up your spine, whether it’s from disgust or something else, it wasn’t clear, “you know what I meant. I left my ring on your nightstand.”

“Deliberately, or…”

Your hands curl up in frustration, your left shin itching, “c’mon. Do you have it or not?” 

His intentionally undone boots scuffed against the floor as he stalks closer to you, his perfume invading your olfactory senses. Oh, he smells good. 

“D’you wanna find out?” His voice dropping a couple of octaves, whispering into the shell of your ear. His thick arms caging you against the bar and the wall. Fuck, he smells really good.

A feeble attempt to make room goes unnoticed, your breath hitching in your throat, “If you don’t have it on you, I’d gladly receive it through the mail.”

Bucky licks his tinged lips, a vein in his temple ticking—the lighting reflecting in his blue eyes, “why would I mail it to you when you can pick it up from my place?”

A rational voice in your head echoes, fighting with your impulse. The closeness of both of your bodies radiating warmth and electricity.

“Fine.” You relented, impulsivity is what got you there in the first place.

The drive to the place shouldn’t take too long, the little shit deliberately took the long way to his place. 

While you sit on the passenger side of his car, he keeps sending you amused glances. As if he couldn’t believe you’d willingly go with him tonight. Well, technically, it really wasn’t part of your plan.

“You wanna get burgers first?” He offers, lowering the music coming from the car’s stereo.

“I wanna get my ring back, Bucky.” You say, reminding him—and yourself—of what your agenda for tonight is.

He dismisses you, as per usual. And pulls over a drive-through of a local burger place, ordering himself a meal.

Instead of getting back out on the highway, he parks the car, rolls down the window, and eats.

“Jesus- fuck, Bucky!” You exclaimed in frustration, “look, if you want to waste my time, then-”

“Then, what?”

“Then go fuck yourself.” You left in a huff, swinging your legs and slamming the car door shut. Hoping that he’d go deaf in one ear.

Making sure that you’re well visible and in a brightly-lit place, you pull out your phone to book an Uber. Only to find Bucky making his way to you for the second time tonight.

“Hey!” Didn’t even used your name to call you, great work!

“I do have it, it’s really back in my place. By the lamp on the bedside table.” The truth lingers out on the night air, waiting for you to acknowledge it.

You meet Bucky’s statement with a wary squint, he meets your rightful doubt with a smile.

“No more stopovers.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

Bucky’s place is a liminal space for you. 

The familiar shadows and corners welcome you, the surfaces on where your bare skin sat hissed at you. You stood by the doorway, not wanting to prolong the journey.

“Hey, c’mon, it’s just me. Sit down.” Exactly, it is him.

You shake your head, leaning by the wall like a stranger, “I’m good. You’re not gonna take long anyway.”

But instead of retrieving your jewelry, his form retreats to the kitchen. A few seconds pass and you hear the crack and hiss of a beer bottle being opened.

“Y’know, I think I’ll just get it myself.” You toe off your shoes, placing them by the door. Your jacket still hanging off your shoulders.

You passed by Bucky, walking towards a love seat, two beers on one hand, “hurry up, then. Got a drink for ya.”

Hazy images play by memory the last time you were here, his damn cologne seeping into your nostrils.

Your head hanging by the edge of the bed as he laps your cunt like a man starved.

The headboard supporting your balance as you bounce up and down his thick cock.

Carpeting that gave your knees burn as he fucked you from behind.

Like an etch-a-sketch, you shake your head to get rid of the scenes that made themselves known.

A shining glint from the bedside table catches your eye, you swipe the ring and stashed it down your jacket pocket.

Coming out of the room with your ring, your slight smile falters as you saw Bucky lounging shirtless. As rightfully so, this is his home anyway.

You steeled yourself despite the heat that’s making its way up to your neck, “uh, I already got it. Thanks, Bucky.”

He shoots you a look—a lingering one. Like a predator about to pounce on prey. His stare chasing the goosebumps under your clothes.

“You sure you wanna go? It’s–” he glances at his phone for the time, “–past midnight.”

“I can take care of myself.”

“I know you can.” The setup.

“How about I take care of you for a change?” The trap.

And then just as sudden as your arrival, you find yourself pressed up against the wall. The agenda of the night has already been forgotten.

Bucky’s mouth finds its temporary home on your jaw, moving down your neck. His large hands already clawing their way under your shirt, the suddenness of the moment stirring the heat in your belly.

Rushed hands and panted breaths meet feverish lips.

The moment his tongue slipped into your mouth was the moment where you lost all inhibitions. Your hands fly to his nape, tugging his hair, effectively making him moan into your mouth.

“You know me so well.” He purrs against your lips. Hitching your legs up his hips as he presses you harder against the drywall.

“Lots of people know you so well.” You bite back, knowing for a fact that he sees others behind your back.

“True,” he’s murmuring against your pulse point and you sigh, “you’re my favorite though.”

Your jacket clutters against the floor of his bedroom, along with his pants and your shirt. A yellow stream of light emits from the living room.

Bucky tosses you on the bed, sending the pillows crashing on the floor. Though the room is darkened with curtains, your eyes adjust enough to see him as he pulls your ankles towards him.

His abs are chiseled like a Greek god, his skin tanned, decorated with tattoos. His left nipple adorns a stainless steel piercing. Like the last time, he grabs your hand, trailing it along his torso, letting you feel his deep v-lines.

A lewd moan escapes your lips as you cup his hardening cock through his boxers. Thick and heavy, a perfect fit.

“You like it?” Bucky taunts, jutting his hips against your hand. You squeeze him lightly, earning you a deep groan from the man above you.

His hand suddenly tightens around your throat, pulling your head towards him, “I asked you a question.”

Giving him a small nod and a meek yeah seemed to have sufficed until he flips you on your stomach and forces your face down the bed.

Your skirt joins the growing pile of clothes on the floor. Your panties do too.

“You’re so wet for me, aren’t ya?” Bucky taunts, one thick finger swiping the wetness between your folds. Spreading it around as preparation. A muffled confirmation made him chuckle as he pinches your clit with intention.

Taking his leaking cock out of his boxers, he swipes the bead of precum from his angry-red tip. He takes his sweet, sweet time before even thinking about pushing into your pussy.

Bucky drags the head of his cock up and down your fold, earning a needy moan from you—coating his entire length with your wetness.

After seemingly an eternity on your side, the sheets already imprinted their impression on the side of your cheek. Bucky finally, fucking finally, pushes into you. A short, white-hot burn shoots through your nerves, making you whimper.

His hand stays on the back of your neck, pushing you further down the bed as he moves. Your pussy lips gripping his dick like a vice, “so fucking tight. God.”

Bucky’s chest swelled up with pride as he notices your fingers digging into his sheets, “no one can fuck you this good.”

The bed squeaks with both of your weight shifting as he reaches around you, his fingers working around your bud. The pressure of his upper body makes you gasp with every thrust of his hips.

He continues to work you—his fingers circling tightly on your throbbing clit, his cock nudging the soft, spongy spot in you. Your toes curl with red heat as your orgasm begins to burn up your legs.

“I’m gonna-- ‘m so close,” your pleas fell on deaf ears as Bucky chases his own high. His balls slapping against your skin, his hips stuttering as his cock pulsates inside your velvet walls.

He curses, grabbing your shoulder and flipping you upside, kneeling before you. His hand pumping his dick continuously as it twitches—the veins even more prominent.

“Open your mouth, I’m gonna cum in it.” Bucky orders and you obey. Your fingers finding their way to your abandoned bundle of nerves—your climax threatening to fade away.

Thick ropes of cum shoot over your mouth, painting your lips and chin white as he misses.

“God, fuck, look at your mess.” Bucky sighs, he’s already tucked back into his boxers and handing you a shirt—presumably to clean yourself up.

“You got your ring? Anything else?” The annoyance in his tone is evident. The clock ticks half past midnight.

You dangle your purse in front of him as a gesture, the wind picks up and your shoes are loose on your feet.

“Alright, well, you could wait for your ride here, I guess.” Bucky dropped the act the moment he got his dick in you.

“Yeah, he’s just around the corner. Thanks for the, uh, ring.”

He hums, looking at his phone. His thumbs dancing over the keyboard, “Try not to bother my friends again when you wanna reach me.”

You weren’t sure if you wanted to laugh or to smack the phone out of his hands, “yeah. Tried calling you but I’m pretty sure you blocked my number.”

A curt laugh echoes out from him, “‘m sorry. Out of habit. You know how it is.”

“Right.” And an awkward beat falls over the both of you.

A black car pulls up by the street and you silently thank the stars. By the time you turn around to at least do the right thing and bid Bucky goodnight, you find yourself facing a closed door.

[brutal-nemesis]

Arthropod Day 2021: 🦀Time For Crab 🦀

Malacostraca Moment 😳🦀

So fun story I wanted this to be on a Saturday because SIDEWAYS SATURDAY but when I was deciding on the date I looked at the calendar for July without realizing it. Happy Sideways Stuesday I guess? 

Castys Masterlist

Ingredients: drowning mention, animal attack (kinda chill tho it’s not really violent), dehydration, autocannibalism mention, parasitic insects, partial nudity, heckin surgery (but it’s CONSENSUAL (⊙ˍ⊙) who am I), suicide for convenience (immortal)

“This looks like a lovely spot for a vacation; thank you guys so much for finding it for me.” The small dingy had just landed on a sandy beach enclosed by dark rocks on either side, a lush forest leading deeper into the island. Casyts’s captor glared at him before harshly tugging the rope tied to his wrists, trying to get him to stand and step onto the beach with her.

“Shut your trap, Ragnarok, or I might change my mind about gagging you. Now get up or I’ll have my men drag you.” 

Castys sighed and rolled his eyes, getting up and following her so his rope burn didn’t get any worse. “Aye aye, Yvonne.” 

“That’s Captain Veldna to you,” she growled, jerking him forward. He stumbled a bit, but he was able to catch himself before he got sand up his nose. He debated trying to yank the rope out of her hands and running away or stealing the boat, but her very strong men were right behind him and that would probably just end in him having extra bruises. So he just followed her like a stupid little goat as she led him towards the rocks, hoping she wouldn’t leave him tied up so he could at least enjoy his time being stranded. But no, this was about sending a message to his crew or making him suffer or something. He didn’t really remember, he’d been dazed as hell when he’d initially gotten captured during a fight between their two ships. Blood loss was a bitch sometimes.

They forced him to sit with his back against a large rock, yanking his bound hands above his head and worming a large nail through the knotted rope before hammering it into the rock. “Not gonna lie, this seems a little extra. I’m not going to go anywhere, so, like, just let me-” Yvonne slapped him harshly across the face.

“You’re not here to have fun, you annoying little parrot.” She looked over at her men, who had just finished tying his ankles together and nailing them down in a similar fashion to his wrists. “If you lot are done, let’s leave.” She turned back to Castys, a wicked grin on her face. “I wonder how many times you’ll die before your crew finds you?”

“My money’s on eight. Do you want me to keep track and tell you next time we see each other? If only I could write in a diary what horrors I suffer sitting on this warm rock that you tied me to during high tide so I won’t even drown later. Now that-agh!” Yvonne stabbed him in the stomach, and Castys bit back a scream as she twisted her blade. 

“The sound of your silence is something I could get used to.”

“Well, the real question is, is silence actually a sound-” Castys’s very valid observation was cut off by the bitch yanking out her sword and promptly kicking him in the stomach. He couldn’t help but cry out, doubling over as far as he could. Yeah, yeah he should probably just shut the fuck up and let them get on their merry way before he got more unnecessary injuries. 

“Enjoy your vacation, Ragnarok,” Yvonne spat. As one last gesture of maturity, she kicked sand at him before walking off, and some of it definitely got in his stab hole, so that was nice. He watched them row away, sighing. Now it was just boredom city, but hey, at least he had a nice beach view. The sun was a few hours away from setting, not that it mattered that much since his skin was dark enough that he probably wasn’t going to get sunburned. 

Being tied to a rock on the beach was...just about as boring as he expected. His arms got all tingly after a while from being stuck above his head, so he couldn’t even properly relax, and a man could only watch little waves roll for so long. He had a nice view of the setting sun, and hey, that means the light of dawn wouldn’t be shining in his face. While the sun was still a little ways above the horizon, he heard an odd rustling noise over in the vegetation, different from the background sounds he had gotten used to. He looked over, hoping it was a friendly man with a knife.

It was not a friendly man with a knife. But it wasn’t something bad, either. “Oh shit hello crabs!” Castys watched as they scuttled out of the treeline onto the beach, glad to have something fun to watch. One of them was slowly making its way towards him, and Castys wondered if he would be able to convince it to snip his bindings. “Hey there mister crab man, come on down, and please for the love of god untie me.” Yes, yes he was talking to a crab, because why not go full send on the insanity right away? It would be so much more fun, and it’s not like anyone else was here to judge him. “Yeah crab get in my zone-wow you’re kinda big.” He’d thought the crab was closer to him, but nope, it had been farther away but giant. Not like giant giant but not, like, normal crab size. It was almost as big as his torso maybe, but he was never great at estimating the relative sizes of things. 

“You’re large but you’re a gentleman, ain’t ya? I don’t know why, but you just seem like a polite fellow.” The crab stopped not too far from Castys and just looked at him blankly. Or maybe it was making a face at him, but he couldn’t read crab body language. Could anyone read crab body language? Crabs, he would hope. “Could you bring me some tea, good sir? Or just...water. Water that’s not salty. I don’t actually like tea it literally tastes like nothing but you know what I would drink it now because I am thirsty.” There was a moment of silence. “Not like thirsty in the weird way some people are. I have no idea what that’s about. But like, I want water. Or...oh my god, Mr. Crab, bring me a coconut!” Castys closed his eyes and leaned his head back. “Yeah… that would be nice. Food and water and it’s prepackaged and I don’t know how I would eat it because my hands are tied but I’ll figure it out.”

A sudden sharp pinch against his wound jolted Castys out of his daydream. He looked down in horror to see that the crab was holding something in its claws. Something pinkish-red that was dripping blood down onto the sand. The bastard. The crab brought the piece of his flesh to its mouth and just ate it while staring right at Castys. “That,” he blinked in surprise a few times, “was incredibly rude.” The crab stayed still, watching him as it did its weird mouth movements that were maybe chewing. “You are absolutely not a gentleman. I rescind everything. You little garbage boy. Rapscallion. I bet you never get invited to the crab raves.”

And the crab. Had the audacity. To reach out its stupid pincher. And do it again. “Little bitch!” Castys yelled, squirming against the ropes in an attempt to scare the thing off. Shockingly, it did not work, because wounded, dying prey squirmed all the time, and...that’s pretty much what Castys was in this scenario, wasn’t he? He was just stuck sitting here while that stupid crab ripped off little pieces of him with its stupid crab pincher and put them in its stupid crab mouth. If he was lucky, this would make him bleed out and die faster and then he wouldn’t have an open wound anymore, which would be a bonus. Though, it had sand in it, and then if it healed…

A problem for another day.

Not the next day, though, or the one after, because, hooray, he was still tied to a rock, so even though he did die a few hours later, he couldn’t do anything about the Sand In His Insides. He made up a song about it, but singing it loudly did absolutely nothing to scare away the crab, whom he had named Crabstard (Crab Bastard). Crabstard seemed to think Castys was his new best friend, coming back regularly for meals. Castys liked to imagine killing and eating Crabstard as a show of dominance, but that made him wonder...would eating Crabstard be a form of autocannibalism? Because Crabstard had eaten him...

He wasn’t sure what was worse, Crabstard and his stupid giant pinchers, or the mosquitoes. There weren’t a ton of them, but their bites were just awful, littering his arms and legs with swollen, white boils, which were unusual and also very concerning but what the fuck could he do about it. Because of course he couldn’t scratch them, and they itched so much it hurt and he just had to endure it. Just like he had to endure fucking everything. The heat of the sun, the awful tingling in his arms, the soreness of his wrists, Crabstard pinching off bits of his flesh, the maddening pain and itch of all his bug bites, the hunger and thirst, the boredom, and the...the loneliness.

No, he was fine, he was fine with just himself, it was always just him anyway. He wasn’t imagining his crew rowing to shore and untying him and tending to him in his cold, dark cabin, because he couldn’t get his hopes up, because they probably weren’t even coming for him. They were just going to leave him behind like everyone else and fuck he was wasting water like a useless idiot and he couldn’t stop or even wipe them away and he probably deserved this for everything he’d done so what did it matter?

And, great, the next day he started hallucinating a passing ship and a rowboat coming for him. Thank you, dehydrated whore brain! Let’s get our stupid little hopes up! Dang, the people on the boat kind of even looked like some of his crewmates, which was rude of his brain to make this so realistic looking.

It wasn’t until his first mate, Kaveri, was untying him that Castys realized that this was real, that they’d really...really come for him. “I’m so glad we found you, Captain.” She pulled him into a hug as soon as he was free, and he hugged her back as best he could with his sore arms. 

“I’m glad y’all did, too.” He leaned back when she let go and looked down at himself, wincing. “Well, before we get back to the ship, I am going to deliver a much needed death upon mys-“

“Captain, Captain, wait,” the ship’s medic, Sixtus, called as he ran over. He knelt beside Castys, taking his arm and examining the bug bites closely. “I knew it. These bites all over you are...they contain fly larvae. We’re going to need to dig them out before you heal yourself.”

“...what if I’ve died since I’ve gotten bitten. Like, earlier.”

“Well.” Sixtus breathed in sharply. “We will just have to wait for them to, uh, let us know where they are.” He sighed. “For now, let’s get you back to the ship and I’ll get out the ones I can. I don’t have the tools for it with me.”

“Can I kill Crabstard first?”

“Crab...stard?” Kaveri gave him a concerned look, and Sixtus felt his forehead.

“He’s a very impolite giant crab. He is my rival. I wish to vanquish him.” The other two shared a look.

“Do you know where this...this crab is?” Sixtus tried.

Castys held up a finger and opened his mouth, pausing for a second before shutting it and blinking a few times. “I. I do not. He just scuttles out of the trees to commit crimes every now and then. He has no friends.”

“Alright, in that case, no. You’re in no condition to wander around the island looking for a crab.” Sixtus held out his hand. “So, come on.”

“Fiiiine,” Castys groaned, letting the taller man help him to his feet. He was a little unsteady, but he was able to make it to the boat with Kaveri’s help. As they rowed away, he turned back to the island one last time, cupping his hands around his mouth as he yelled, “Fuck you Crabstard I hope you starve and die in a pit and the other crabs eat you!” 

Once they made it back to the ship, Sixtus ushered Castys into his office, instructing him to sit up on the examination table and take his shirt and pants off. Kaveri helped him, opting to stay in case Sixtus needed a hand. He examined Castys thoroughly, using a lightstone to get a good look at the swollen bug bites littering his body as well as the number of small wounds in his side.

“These from the, uh, crab?” Sixtus asked as he gestured to them.

“Yup. Him and his stupid pinchers.”

“Alright, I know you don’t really get infections, but I’m going to clean these out just to be safe.” He paused. “Also it just feels. Really wrong not to. It’ll bother me if I don’t.”

“Do whatever, doctor man.” Castys did his best not to let his pain show as Sixtus dabbed at his wounds with a stingy liquid. It really didn’t hurt that much, but when Kaveri placed her hand on top of his as he gripped the edge of the table, he didn’t wave her off. He’d let it be Fuss Over The Captain Day. For their sake. Because they seem to have been worried about him. 

“Alright, I’m all done with that, so if you could lay down, Captain, I’ll get started with removing those larvae. Kaveri, get him some rum and then hold him down.” She nodded, leaving and returning soon after with a small cup.

“You know, I haven’t had water in days,” Castys mused before winking at her and downing its contents. Kaveri shook her head.

“You literally emptied my waterskin while we were rowing back.”

“Oh dang, I forgot. Nevermind I’m actually not funny and am just stupid.” He scooted a bit and laid down with his hands behind his head. “Get rid of my worms.”

“They’re not-they’re not worms, Captain, they’re insects, since-” Sixtus stopped himself, folding his hands in front of his mouth. “Nevermind.” He cleared his throat. “Arms at your sides, please. Kaveri, if you would.” She nodded, holding down his shoulders as Sixtus turned Castys’s arm, locating the first larva he was going to remove. Castys breathed in sharply as the knife sliced into his arm, doing his best to keep still as Sixtus slid a pair of tweezers into the wound. The rum dulled his senses enough that it didn’t hurt as much as it could, but it certainly wasn’t painless, and he couldn’t help but gasp as Sixtus slowly pulled a small, wriggling grub out of the incision. He dropped it in a metal tray, cleaned the wound, and picked up his knife.

Then the process started all over again.

Castys didn’t bother counting how many times those tweezers probed around inside him, how many wet little plops he heard as another larva dropped into the tray. He focused on staying still, on the prickle of the rough wood table against his bare back, on the feeling of Kaveri’s hands on his shoulders, more comforting than restraining. They reminded him that he wasn’t alone in his suffering, for once. But he wasn’t supposed to need comfort, he was their immortal captain, the one who’d been through everything before and was strong enough to go through it again, the one his crew could always depend on to be strong. And here he was, teeth gritted against the pain, his forehead resting against Kaveri’s arm, fists clenched to mask their shaking, all over a few cuts and some little maggots.

“Alright,” Sixtus wiped his brow with the back of his hand, “I think that’s all of ‘em. That I can see, at least.” He looked down at Castys. “You had seventeen of those things in you, Captain.” He grimaced. “And possibly more, so please let me know if you feel anything, uh, wiggling. But for now, you’re free to...die.”

“Can’t believe I got a new world record for worm friends.” Castys grabbed the small leather pouch that usually hung around his neck from his pile of clothes, pulling it open.

“They’re not worms-”

“Thank you, Sixtus.” With that, Castys stuck his finger in the pouch and touched his death stone. He came back to life feeling infinitely better, but Kaveri and Sixtus still insisted he rest after he cleaned himself up. He grumbled, but he let Kaveri force him into his bed and bring him something to eat. Once he was finished, she collected his plate and stood awkwardly by his bedside.

“Do...do you want me to come back, Castys? Will you be alright?”

“Look, I’m honestly fine, you’re good. I’ve been through a lot worse, and I’m all healed up now so it doesn’t really matter.” 

She pursed her lips. “I suppose, but that doesn’t mean that that didn’t still take a mental toll on you, and…” she sighed. “Just...call me if you need anything, alright?”

“Will do.” She nodded, but as she started to walk away, Castys realized there was something he’d rather not leave unsaid. “Wait, Kaveri?”

“Yes?”

“Th...thank you. For, uh, finding me.”

“Of course, Castys. We’ll always be there for you.” Castys opened his mouth to reply, but he stopped himself and just smiled and nodded, his shoulders only falling once she’d left.

He wished that were true.

Castys Cult: @as-a-matter-of-whump​ @blackrosesandwhump​ @fanmanga1357-blog​​ @thehopelessopus​ @just-a-whumping-racoon-with-wifi​ @hearse-song​ @muddy-swamp-bitch @whumpasaurus101 @yet-another-heathen​​ @galaxywhump​ @starnight-whump​ @his-unspoken-words​ @misspelledwitch

[i-moved-blogs-ffs]

Aaa your blog is so cute and aesthetic and detailed!! I'm in love!!! And you like Kiibo?? Heckin' SCORE! I love it when people appreciate him! With that said, could I request Kiibo with a S/O who is very affectionate and romantic? (i.e very cuddly, planning dates and giving him gifts all the time, showering him with praise, always holding hands and giving him gentle kisses.) I just want him to feel loved and valid <3. Tysm and I'm looking forward to what you make in the future! :D -⚙️

HDHGDH MY HEART- I THINK I'M GONNA CRY YOU'RE SO SWEET- thank you so so much ⚙️ nonnie!! I've gotten a lot of requests/asks wishing me luck and complimenting my blog and I'm jUST AAAA💘💝💖💘💓💗💘💝💝💘💓 YOU GUYS ARE SO NICE-

And yeah, Kiibo's amazing!! He's one of the characters that got me into Danganronpa in the first place, actually! He's just,,, very very good and deserves the world,, 👉👈

Anyway, enough of my rambling- let's get started!

- 🌸🍭mod mikan🍭🌸

Kiibo with a super sweet and affectionate S/O!

FLUSTERED FLUSTERED FLUSTERED-

Like I think you're gonna break him- he's overheating so much when he's around you!

He probably gets Miu to upgrade his cooling systems to overdrive because the ones he had before just failed him all the time-

He gets a little worried whenever you hug or cuddle up to him. Won't you get hurt? His body is made of metal.

But you never seem go mind. He was your boyfriend, and you were gonna love and adore him, metal body or not!! He usually offers wearing something like an oversized hoodie or sweater, so his exterior would be softer to the touch, but you're like "no 😾 ur perfect without a hoodie now gimme kith 💕"

He gets so shy when you give him kisses, because he just never expects it. His brain just- blanks out for a few seconds and he feels the heat rising to his face.

Looooves forehead kisses. They make him feel safe. Like... There's something fluttering in the pit of his stomach.

He sometimes gets confused by these fluttery feelings, and his feelings in general, which is understandable.

However, he usually goes to Miu for help, because he feels too shy to talk about it with you. This can go two ways: him getting an actual answer or him having to turn to Google.

"what's a horny and why am i it???"

And not to be lewd but,,,, *whispers* h-h*nd h*lding😳

Absolutely loVES IT-

It feels so nice,, You're like- connected! With your hands! His body always warms up when you intertwine your fingers with his, or link your pinkies together.

It's very wholesome and sweet and he just goes "(>///<)👉👈"

He likes showing off his functions to you! No matter how useless they may seem, you always praise them!!

And he's so so happy and grateful that you do!

When you actually give HIM praise is where the party starts.

He pulls a Deku from bnha and lowkey freaks out. Covering his blushing face, nervously smiling, his voice raising a bit on accident as he tries to compliment you back.

That being said, he always makes an effort to return your affections! He wants to understand love as best as he can, and he's learned a lot from you.

He really just wants to impress you, and sweep you off your feet!

But little did he know, you're already whipped.

Aww man, these ended up being kinda short, huh? I'm sorry if you wanted something longer, dear!! I didn't really have that many ideas for this as of now.

Either way, be sure to wash your hands, stay hydrated, take any meds you may need to and stay safe, my lovelies! You were so brave, have a lollipop! 🍭

[rk1k-hyperfixated]

I love rk1k and idk why it always rubs me the wrong way when peeps be writing conner as uwu ✨soft boi✨? I love it in small bursts like. He can be really cute and soft, but this boi is a badass. And I wish I could see more of markus just being in absolute astonishment of the skill and badassery of conner. Like terrified yet turned on by how heckin scary conner could be from an outside perspective. Yknow?

This is so valid I do not know where to start.

Connor is definitely badass, what with taking down armies and all that, and he’s been programmed to be a killer machine under his cute facade (there’s that part where he openly told Hank the purpose of his puppy face design). I think it is precisely that outer appearance that misleads people. He might be a newborn deviant in that sense, he might come off as naive (because clearly he is discovering new things every day) and maybe he is gentle, deep down, but that doesn’t, in any way, negate his badass side.

Pretty sure, at least from my POV, that Markus saw the badassery potential in Connor the moment he suggested infiltrating CyberLife alone. If it were anyone else, Markus would have decided against it, but he knew Connor was probably the only one capable out of all his people, so he trusted him with the task.

I think the portrayal of Connor being soft is, in the end, a matter of taste. I personally lean more towards a mixture of soft and terrifyingly hot. But as a deviant, I think Connor would be more peaceful. So he probably would have occasional outbursts of badassery, but otherwise he wouldn’t harm/hurt anyone on purpose. (Maybe this is what makes people read him as soft)

At the end of the day, I love rk1k because it portrays, in my eyes, a good balanced dynamic. If Markus is peaceful, I’d assume Connor would be too. They have a common aim and they would do anything to reach it (including being badass). That’s what makes them compatible. 

This is just my take on it. A personal opinion. 

Thank you for sharing your thoughts with me!

[pinkknight999]

Hey fren! I’ve decided I wanna start trying to get to know my moots a bit better so here is your…

Question of the day!

What are your top five favorite TV shows at the moment and why?

Anyways have a good rest of your day fren!

Oh jeez ummm well I guess in no particular order

1. The first show that comes to mind is actually the one we've been watching here and there in my ASL class, and that's Switched at Birth! It's about these two families and their daughters, as the name of the show suggests, were switched at birth and proceeded to grow up with the other family, so now they're trying to cope and figure out what to about it and stuff. And one of the girls has been deaf since she was like three so there's a lot of, like, trying to deal with ableism about that. And, y'know, that's why we're watching it in an ASL class. Worth noting that there is teenager and relationship drama but even though that's not really what I look for in a show, imo it's still overall a really good show so far and I recommend it.

2. I think Switched at Birth is the only show I'd say I'm watching right now but I am also semi-patiently waiting for s3 of Miraculous Ladybug to come out on Netflix or Disney+ or anything so I can watch it and stop having to worry about spoilers on the rare occasion that MLB content comes across my dash. I'm pppppprrrreeeetty sure it's more well-known than Switched? Sooo I am going to take that as a valid excuse to not have to write a synopsis not get into explaining it bc also if I do I can't promise I won't go off on a ramble-y and/or rant-y side tangent.

3. I mean like I feel obligated to say Avatar the Last Airbender at least somewhere on this list. Like. C'mon. It's heckin' Avatar. It was such a good show for having been aimed at such a young audience. Need I elaborate?

4. Shoot, what else... Ooh! Glitch Techs! That's a cool show! Absolutely no idea how well-known it is in general but I really like it. It is sorta a more... I guess formulaic? show where each episode is kinda just its own deal for the most part and some baddie shows up so the protags have to go deal with it, y'know, like that. But at least imo and so far it's done a really good job of not feeling formulaic or repetitive, and I REALLY like that it lets the two main protags be opposite genders without trying to force their relationship into a romantic one. They're just best buds. Good platonic relationships are amazing and I wanna see more of them, opposite gender or not. Just. Being really close and supportive of each other without it having to be romantic.

5. And last but not least... Hmmm... This is like so super different from any other show on this list or even any show I can remember watching that isn't on this list, but honestly I think the only show I'd wanna put here is Top Gear/Grand Tour, which I think can totally count as just one. Shush. But yeah Top Gear/Grand Tour-- I watch it with my dad sometimes, and even though I don't speak car and I can't say I'm a fan of their often... inappropriately childish sense of humor, my dad and I do both really enjoy watching the guys go out of their way to mess with each other and screw each other over as much as as they can and just seeing things go hilariously wrong, as they so often do.

[kuromichad]

different subject that’s heavy on my mind rn but since i’m already being harsh let’s get into it. i wish it wasn’t automatically presumed to be some kind of truscum attitude when someone tries to express that different parts of The Trans Community have like, different needs and different risk levels and different experiences and that we have the ability to talk over each other, harm each other, etc... like when i put it that way people generally are like ‘of course that’s true!’ but is it ever really understood in practice? a number of people (not a large enough number, but still) are able to loosely understand ‘you can be trans and transphobic’ when it’s applied to the matter of transmisogyny but when a trans person tries to express distrust of or frustration with afab nb people due to how common it is that that category of person will, despite being trans/nb, espouse bioessentialist, anti-medical-transition, radfem-adjacent if not outright cryptoterf rhetoric, suddenly ‘trans people can be transphobic’ gets applied to... the person with a complaint about transphobia. 

because he’s clearly an evil truscum man! regardless of if the person making the complaint is a trans man or trans woman, oops, lol. he’s a bad person who is attacking and invalidating and totally hatecriming the heckin’ valid, equally at-risk transgender identity of “an afab woman who isn’t a woman except when she pointedly categorizes themself as a woman because being afab makes them a woman who is ‘politically aligned’ with women but she’s not an icky unwoke cis woman because they don’t like being forced into womanhood although Really When You Think About It 🤔 all women are dysphoric because obviously the pathologized medical diagnosis of gender dysphoria in transgender people is something that equally applies to cis women just default existing under patriarchy 🤔, and no, equating these things totally does not imply anything reductive about or add a bizarre moral dimension to the idea of being transgender, whaaaaat, this woman who isn’t a woman doesn’t think there’s anything immoral or cowardly or misogynist or delusional about being transgender, they would never say that because THEY’RE transgender, except when she feels it’s important (constantly) to make clear that she’s Still A Woman Deep Down Inherently Despite Not Identifying As One, and none of this ever has any effect on how they treat the concept, socially and politically, of people who actually wholly identify with (and possibly medically transition to) a gender different from the one they were assigned at birth, be it ‘the opposite gender’ or abstaining from binary gender altogether or ‘politically aligning’ with the ‘opposite’ gender from their asab. never ever!”

and like maybe that sounds like a completely absurd and hateful strawman to you! but in that case you’re either like, lucky, or optimistic, or ignorant. i’m literally not looking at random nb people and declaring that in My Truscum Opinion they’re ‘really a woman’ just because they’re not medically transitioning or meeting some arbitrary standard of mine. i am looking at self-identified afab nb people, who most often use she/they because, y’know, words mean things, especially pronouns, so people who are willingly ‘aligned with womanhood’ typically intentionally use she/her (sorry that i guess that’s another truscum take now!!! that pronouns mean things!!! the bigender transmasc who deliberately uses exclusively he/him wants it to invoke a perception he’s comfortable with!), who actively say the things listed above (in a non-sarcastic manner). 

like, the line between a person who says “i don’t claim to really not be my asab because i know no one would ever perceive me as anything else” because theyve internalized a defeatist attitude due to societal transphobia, and a person who says that because they... genuinely believe it’s impossible/ridiculous/an imposition to truly be transgender (in the traditional trans sense, beyond a vague nb disidentification with gender) and are actively contributing to the former person’s self loathing... is hard to define from a distance! i think plenty of people who are, in a sense, ‘tentative’ or like ‘playing close to home’ so to speak in their identity are ‘genuinely trans’ (whatever that may mean) and just going through a process. they might arrive at a different identity or might just eventually stop saying/believing defeatist stuff, who knows. but there are enough people saying it for the latter reason, or at least not caring if they sound that way, that it’s like, dangerous. it is actively incredibly harmful to other trans people. and it’s fucking ridiculous that it’s so difficult to criticize because you’ll always get the defense of “umm but i’m literally trans” and/or “well i’m just talking about ME, this doesn’t apply to other trans people” when it’s an attitude that very clearly seeps into their politics and the way they discuss gender.

because it’s just incredibly common for afab nb people (most typically those that go by she/they! since i’m aware that uh, i am also afab nb, but we clearly are extremely different, so that’s the best categorization i’ve got) to discuss gender in moralized terms, with the excuse of patriarchy/misogyny existing, which of course adds another difficult dimension to trying to criticize this because it gets the response of “don’t act like misandry is real” (it’s not, but being a dick still is) and “boohoo, let women complain about their oppressors” (this goes beyond ‘complaining’). a deliberate revocation of empathy/sympathy/compassion from men and projection of inherently malicious/brutish/cruel intent onto men (not solely in the justified generalizations ‘men suck/are dangerous’, but in specific interactions too) underpin a whole fucking lot of popular posts/discussions online, whether they’re political or casual/social, and it absolutely influences how people conceptualize and feel about transness. 

because ‘maleness is evil’ is still shitty politics even when you’ve slightly reframed it from the terf ‘trans women are evil because they’re Really Men and can never escape being horrific soulless brutes just as women can never escape being fragile morally superior flowers’ to the tumblr shethey “trans women who are out to me/unclockable are tolerable i guess because they’re women and women are good; anyone i personally presume to be a cis man, though, is still automatically evil, and saying trans men are Just As Bad is progressive of me, and it’s totally unrelated and apolitical that i think we should expand the concept of afab lesbianism so broadly that you can now be basically indistinguishable from trans men on literally every single level except for a declaration of ‘but i would never claim to be a man because i’m secure in the Innate Womanhood of the body i was born into, even as i medically alter that body because it causes me great gendered discomfort.’ none of this at all indicates that i feel there’s an immense moral/political gap between being an afab nb lesbian vs a straight trans man! it says nothing at all about my concept of ‘maleness’ and there’s no way this rhetoric bleeds into my perception of trans women and no way loudly talking about all this could keep trans people around me self-loathing and closeted, because i’m Literally Trans and Not A Terf!”

again, if that sounds like a hateful strawman, sorry but it’s not. i guess i’m supposed to be like ‘all of the many people ive seen saying these shitty things is an evil outlier who Doesn’t Count, and it’s not fair to the broad identity of afab shethey to not believe that every person who doesn’t outright say terfy enough things is a perfectly earnest valid accepting trans person who’s beyond criticism’ but like. this cannot be about broad validation. this can’t be about discarding all the bad apples as not really part of the group. we can’t be walking on eggshells to coddle what are essentially, in the end, Cis Feelings, because in the best cases this kind of rhetoric comes from naive people who are early and uncertain in their gender journey or whatever and are in the process of unraveling internalized transphobia, and in the easily observable worst cases these people are very literally redefining shit so that ‘actually all afab women are trans, spiritually, all afabs have dysphoria, we are all Equally oppressed by Males uh i mean cis men <3’ because, let’s be honest, they know that the moment they call themselves trans they get to say whatever they want about gender no matter how harmful it is to the rest of us. and those ideas spread like wildfire through the afab shethey “woman that’s not a woman” community that frankly greatly outnumbers other types of trans people online, because many of those people just do not have the experiences that lead you to really understand this shit and have to push back against concepts of gender that actively harm you as a trans person.

like that’s all i want to be able to say, is Things Are Different For Different Groups. and a willful ignorance of these differences leads to bad rhetoric controlling the overall discourse which gets people hurt. and even when concepts arise from it that seem positive and helpful and inclusive, in practice or in origin those ideas can still be upholding shit that gets other people hurt. like, i don’t doubt that many people are very straightforwardly happy and comfortable with an identity like ‘afab nb lesbian on testosterone’ and it would be ridiculous and hypocritical for me, ‘afab nb who wants to pass as a guy so he can comfortably wear skirts again,’ to act like that’s something that can’t or shouldn’t exist. it’s not about the identity itself, it’s about the politics that are popular within its community, and how the use of identities as moral labels with like, fucking pokemon type interactions for oppression effectiveness which directly informs the moral correctness of your every opinion and your very existence, is a shitty practice that gets people hurt and leads us to revoke empathy from each other.

like. sorry this is all over the place and long and probably still sounds evil because i haven’t thought through and disclaimered every single statement. but i’m like exhausted from living with this self-conscious guilt that maybe i’ve turned into a horrible evil truscum misogynist etc etc due to feeling upset by this seemingly inescapable approach to gender in lgbt/online circles that like, actively harms me, because when i vent with my friends all the stuff i’ve tried to explain here gets condensed down to referencing ‘she/theys’ as a category and that feels mean and generalizing and i genuinely dislike generalizations but the dread i feel about that category gets proven right way too often. it’s just like. this is not truscum this is not misgendering this is not misogyny. this is not about me decreeing that all transmascs have to be manly enough or dysphoric enough and all nbs have to be neatly agender and androgynous or something, i’m especially not saying that nb gender isn’t real lmao or even that it’s automatically wrong to partially identify with your asab; this is not me saying you can only medically transition for specific traditional reasons or that you don’t get a say on anything if you aren’t medically transitioning for whatever reason, now or ever. i just. want to be allowed to be frank about how... when there’s different experiences in a community we should like. acknowledge those differences and be willing to say that sometimes people don’t know what they’re talking about or that what they’re saying is harmful. without the primary concern being whether people will feel invalidated by being told so. because these are like, real issues, that are more important than politely including everyone, because that method is just getting vulnerable people drowned out constantly.

[bounce-a-coin-off-your-witcher]

If they/them pronouns vibe with you, go for it! If they only vibe with you sometimes, that's valid!! If they vibe with you for a month and then they don't after that, that's heckin valid!! Your pronouns are yours to choose and change and experiment with, especially in an online community which tends to be easier than in every day life. You're loved, Bouncey. With any and every pronoun that suits you 💕

Ahhhhh thank you guys so much.

I grew up in a Fundamentalist Christian Household where stuff like this was Very Much Not Allowed, so I’m overcoming a lot of trauma and taking baby steps towards figuring everything out. Coming out as Bi was easy because so many of my friends are queer and it was a very welcoming community.

They were a little gate-keepy about pronouns tho, which is why I came to you guys first. Thank you so much <3

Bouncey’s official pronouns as of now are she/they! Feel free to use either! :D IT FEELS GOOD TO FEEL GOOD ABOUT YOURSELF! I AM CRYING!

[rouiyan]

and i said-

copyright © 2020 rouiyan all rights reserved.

pairing — lee jeno x (fem.) reader genre — fluff, just fluff aus — high school au, prom(posal) au disclaimer — swearing length — 1.2k 

synopsis: "yes, a thousand times yes."

a/n: my heart sings for every time i see pride and prejudice and fanfiction come together, hence why i wrote this.

__________

"i think blue would be better, wouldn't it?"

"jeno, i'll let it go just this once because of your limited knowledge in-," jaemin waves his hands around to gesticulate, "-love, and all that, but blue doesn't really, you know, speak love language."

"but blue is her favorite color so i think it does kinda speak love language."

"i mean, i'm not gonna force you to get the pink one or anything, but if your girlfriend says no, well, you'll know why."

haechan appears at the end of the aisle, a neon orange poster board in hand and only catching the last half of jaemin's sentence. "shit jen, when'd you ask her to be your girlfriend?" jaemin's mouth hangs in disgust as he scrutinizes the jarring color of the board. 

jeno flushes, the words girlfriend and boyfriend and other in the same spectrum still very much foreign to him when put in the context of you. he swallows thickly, hand coming up to the locks of hair at the nape of his neck, "i think the whole poster and flowers setup is too cliché for y/n's taste. it just doesn't seem like something she'd love." jeno's mutters are received with chaos from all sides and all at once.

haechan: "for shit's sake, why are we here then?! i’m outta here."

jaemin: "the hell do you know about love?! even if she doesn't like you i guarantee she'll say yes to the mother fucking pink poster!

chenle: "why not, though? if anything, isn't the poster and flower setup like the safe way to go?"

renjun: "i don't understand why you need to buy her something just to ask her to go somewhere with you. seems to me like you're trying to bribe her into saying yes."

jaemin ends up 'winning' the argument and having jeno buy the goods. not because he was right, per se, but rather because all the boys were in over their heads from having to listen to the former's long-winded and nonsensical sales pitch. 

__________

jeno sighs deeply, looking at the crafts materials in front of him. he knows, without even having to look, that the obnoxious pings that are coming from his phone are from jaemin's incessant texts on how to draw this and what color to use for that. he knows this because of the specific ringtone he'd set for the boy since variations of this very scenario happen on a daily. he also has a specific ringtone set for you and it's this that he's subtly waiting to hear, a valid excuse to draw him away from the damned pink poster and towards the girl he loves most.

it's then that he hears it, the one distinct sound that sends his mind into overdrive on just what exactly you wanted to say to him. he makes haste across his bedroom and clicks on your name atop the screen with no hesitation. 

you: in need of a rant buddy + study date, you free?

jeno: pick you up in five.

jeno busies himself in tidying up his appearance with the little amount of time he has. with prom coming to view in just under a week, he's panicking. sent like a gift from the gods, wrapped and delivered right to his front door, he knew this was his golden opportunity. straightening out the straps of his backpack, he gives one last look at the halfway completed poster and the deep red roses beside it before setting off without either. 

__________

"so i was just walking to fifth period when this girl from my econ classs started running down the hall, yelling for me. and when she got to me, she told me that mark needed to see me like right then and there." you would've noticed, had you not been fully submerged in the art of storytelling, that jeno's face had morphed into one of dread. 

continuing, "i was freaking out too because she was going absolutely nuts and i ran with her halfway across the school and at that point i was already heckin' confused because there was a giant crowd outside the gym. and then i saw the hundred or so roses and his friends behind him with the posters that spelled out 'prom?' kind of embarrassing, for me that is." jeno was beginning to think that coming with at least the flowers might've been a better idea than coming empty handed, even if he knew deep down you wouldn't appreciate it all that much. he was also completely unaware of where the story was actually going, his own suspicions lodged in the forefront of his mind. 

"you could've just turned and left, you know." jeno was also beginning to get irritated, upset that he wasn't there to steer you away. whatever cruel god that sent him this 'golden opportunity' must be snickering at this moment, he thought.

"well, i didn't think it'd be very nice to just leave him hanging like that. in front of the whole school too."

"so what'd you do?" jeno was at the edge of his seat. not out of anticipation, but out of readiness to get up and go. he didn't like the thought of you eyeing him in shock and confusion as he bawled instantaneously at your response. 

"well i went up to him, real close so only he could hear. and i said-"

jeno didn't let you finish. there was no way around it, he couldn't keep his mouth shut any longer, "will you go to prom with me?" 

fuck the streamers, the hundred roses, the garish pink poster. cliché was jaemin, all jaemin and none jeno. jeno didn't know for sure if you were to say yes, he didn't have anything guaranteed. hell, none of this was even remotely thought through beforehand but all he knew was that he didn't want to hear the end of that sentence, he didn't want to know if you wanted to go to prom with some prick you weren't all that interested in. all jeno wanted to know was if you wanted to go with him.

such ardently plucky courage from a boy who was so unsure of himself. jeno could sense, in the moment, that he hadn't blinked in a long while, his eyes feeling dry and hardened. try as he might, he couldn't help but notice how your lip twitched into the briefest of smiles before the full-on tsunami of blush hit your cheeks with vivid force. then, he let himself blink, the tensions resting on his shoulders releasing ever so slightly but the pace of his heartbeat pushing supersonic speeds. 

your eyes fell shy and it was like the whole world shrunk to fit just you and jeno for there was nothing, nothing else that you could see. it felt exhilarating as you voiced aloud, "yes, a thousand times yes."

so much for a study date, this might as well just be a date. 

__________

[peachpitmp3]

i change my pfp so many times on discord, but not that much on tumblr, weirdly. i get Bored of Myself easily shdfglkjsd

IN THE LEAST MEAN WAY POSSIBLE, YES. I DO HOPE TO BREAK MANY HEARTS >:D i shall break your heart like a mirror during an angsty movie scene, as soon as i figure out how to Write. (bleh)

hfsdklfjklsdjf i'm so glad that it isn't just me.

!!!! i think you were the one who told me about cm in the first place, and some of my irls really like b99 so. :DD

fhsdjklzfsldf well now i'm gonna watch criminal minds even hARDER. it's alright, i'm sure it's worth it !!! and yeah!!! different shows are definitely better for different episode lengths.

OH MY GOD HDSJLF. i love that. Emotional Support Jules™ <333 you're p o r t a b l e. ohmygod. BATTERIES SOLD SEPARATELY. i love that job!!! i can definitely see you doing that /pos /gen.

wHAT. BESTIE. fiusoxchsdjk "we could be in the same forest and we could find mushrooms together!!" is the sweetest thing ever. ilysm /p, and i would absolutely get stranded in a forest to do that with you <3

oooh ok that's actually really smart /gen. because sometimes you just want to rant and tell someone, and then other times you're just waiting and nobody says anything and anyway- yeah i like that idea for a tone indicator!!

JKSLDJFLSJDF you're so valid. tbf i'm very hypocritical with my pet peeves. i'll go "my pet peeve is when people bounce their knees like. cmon, you can just-" *looks down* *realizes i've been bouncing my knee in a very annoying way* "well fu-". get it together body! trying to make a point here and the point is not that i'm annoying.

hmmm. i think i'd like to be an Official Moodboarder and Describer of Aesthetics. i can't write very well but !!! describing people's aesthetics and just aesthetics in general is. my favorite thing ever. i'll make people moodboards and i will Perceive the hell out of everyone i love (affectionate threat).

i'd like to say a mattress that's too soft? because at least it would be comfortable, especially for stuff like watching youtube/netflix in bed. although people do say that sleeping on the floor is good for your back, and a hard mattress would be like sleeping on the floor while also NOT sleeping on the floor. which,, actually doesn't sound appealing so. too soft it is! i think some country music is good, aka women being badass, and pointedly not men singing about their trucks and beer and women. i'm sure there is good country music, but i just don't really listen to the genre in general.

icebreakers are. ok ig sjdlkf. they're mainly used in Social Situations and that's very very awkward and can be painful, and not that effective, but with friends or something like that, sure!! no!! i would not sleep if i didn't have to, at least for the most part. a few years ago i was actually quite anti-sleep because i found it boring, which is probably a very childish take but i don't care >:(. (see, childish!) sleep is nice, but i'm convinced that if i didn't need to sleep, i could get the same feeling of relaxation and refreshment elsewhere.

would you sleep, if you didn't have to? what was your favorite toy as a little kid? what was the last joke you remember hearing? song lyric that's stuck in your head? opinion on origami? - 🌵

"i get Bored of Myself easily shdfglkjsd" god what a fucking mood. actually it's funny i change my tumblr pfp so often but never my discord one.

actually yes go off break all the hearts do ur thing yes !!

omg ur irls are so good then!! b99 is amazing!! and ahhh yeah cm is pretty heckin good :D

sdghsldjflsdkfj thank you im glad you believe in my abilities.

aaaah okay okay let's find a forest and some mushrooms and then we can simply vibe ™

NO OMG SAME IM SO HYPOCRITICAL TOO. i completely get what ur saying LMAO. like half the time someone is doing something that im annoyed at, i'm either doing it or will do it like 5 minutes later. "get it together body! trying to make a point here and the point is not that i'm annoying." HGSLDFSDHGSLDJFLS YEAH NO LITERALLY

dude oh my god yes be a professional moodboarder and aesthetics describer!!! that's actually such a good fit for you i could totally see it and oh my GOSH yes perceive EVERYONE. i love the "(affectionate threat)" thats so true lol.

yeah ok that's valid. lol one of my friends sleeps on the floor cause it's better for their back and honestly... i don't know what to think about it. like ok do ur thing but also ur an idiot and why would u pass up a comfy mattress. OMG SO TRUE. okay. yeah. literally. women being badass >>>> men singnig about whatever they sing about. unless it's reggie peters singing about how home is where his horse is. there is always that exception.

yeah that makes lots of sense. social situations are not fun lol. LMAO anti-sleep because you found it boring. i mean yeah ok that's "childish" but also it makes... so much sense. "but i don't care >:(" SDFLSDKFJLSDFJLSKDFJ. yeah! i'm sure you could get the same refreshment from some other source if you didn't need sleep!

i honestly don't know if i would sleep! like on the one hand there's so much to DO, but on the other hand i don't think i could handle being conscious for 24 hours a day, day after day lmao. i'm not sure.

my favorite toy was this dog that i got when i was super super young and still have! theyre falling apart a little bit but it's!! okay!!

the last joke i remember hearing... bestie i have a shit memory. uhm. yeah okay i do not. remember. im sorry lmao

omg a song lyric that's stuck in my head. "you know we're all calligraphy / you know we're all just suffering" from uh. some song i used to listen to i forget what it's called. oh it's young again by SXYE. good song.

i cannot do origami but it's so frickin cool!! anyone who can do it has all my respect and also please make me something thanks

god you have so many good questions and i have no brain cells okay. hm.

what's your favorite app on your phone? do you have a lot of games downloaded? what's a song lyric that's stuck in your head right now? what was your favorite toy as a kid? what's your favorite store to go to? do you like camping? what are you most looking forward to in the next week?

[hunxi-guilai]

Wow that’s very interesting that most of the CQL cast were voiced over apart from Ji Li - is the reason Ji Li did his own voice dubbing due to his talent/experience? Also, I’m curious to know if there has ever been a drama you’ve watched where the voice dubbing just didn’t seem to match the actor/actress that’s stopped you watching on when the drama’s been otherwise consider a success??

(follow-up to this conversation about dubbing in Chinese dramas)

I’m afraid I don’t know any details about Ji Li or why he did the dubbing for his own character, but @elenirlachlagos mentioned something about this in the comments on that post!

And alas, I have to admit that I’ve only actually watched three dramas from start to finish, and they are Nirvana in Fire, Nirvana in Fire 2, and CQL. All other shows that I’ve given a shot, I’ve usually dropped within the first five episodes because I couldn’t deal with their content (sometimes period dramas are just so… dumb??? Which is a valid thing to be but I like some moral quandaries in my media consumption???)

Dubbing generally doesn’t bother me, since the all the television production departments are very, very good at it, but I will say that 《长安十二时辰》/ The Longest Day in Chang’an technically qualifies for what you’re asking because 1) I gave up on it and 2) part of it was for dubbing reasons (and by all reports, this show was a success even if the plot was monumentally dumb). Ironically, I gave up on it for the opposite  reason – they chose not to dub their dialogue over, and once I lost the subtitles to the episodes (idk I was watching some weird Amazon Prime version), I just plain couldn’t understand what they were saying 70% of the time. 

But also the show got progressively stupider. They have an even worse grasp of pacing than CQL. 真的感觉整个长安城只有张小敬一个人可以办事。

But goddamn the production value. Heckin’ transcendent. They spent seven months building a historical Chang’an to shoot in. They lowkey invented a signal tower system based on a lot of bullshit and the 《易经》Yijing / I Ching. It has some of the best fight scenes I’ve seen in a Chinese historical drama (which, to be fair, isn’t hard, but they had me sold on one-man-army Zhang Xiaojing tearing pretty successfully through a building of enemy combatants, and I’ve been a hard sell ever since I took a semester of stage combat in college). 

…um, I’m rambling. tl;dr no, haven’t run into a show where the dubbing has been prohibitively bad enough for me to give up on it, but I have run into plenty of shows where I’ve given up on them for reasons more significant than just the dubbing

[queenrhenpendragon]

You know whose arc gets me every time?

Dameon’s. Dameon Maurva's arc is so beautiful and significant and affects not only himself but multiple other characters and also the entire heckin plot of the game and it moves me Every. Single. Time.

So I’m going to rant  about it, welcome to the post I’ve been waiting to make for fourteen years.

First of all, this precious sun, this dear one, this absolute angel, was most likely raised mainly by an Ahriman sympathizer-- like, c'mon, am I supposed to believe Talia kept a child in the dream realm? Even without the nightmares it's dangerous, and very isolated. If something were to happen there would be nowhere she could send Dameon while she dealt with it. It’s one thing in fanfiction, but when I actually consider the logistics, either she was a truly terrible, irresponsible parent, or Dameon lived in Aveyond with his father. I've played Ahriman’s Prophecy; responsibility is Talia's middle name. Dameon was raised in Aveyond.

He has to have been a lonely child. He most likely had no human friends, and definitely none his age. Maybe the binis or fairies or sometimes Vata babysat him when Mr. Maurva was unavailable. Maybe not. Either way, such contact couldn’t replace his need for love and validation from his incredibly busy and important parents.

He probably constantly sought his parents' approval and was constantly falling short because how do you impress an immortal sun priest, millenia old and the last of his kind? Especially one who is apparently becoming disenchanted with the ideals he once fought for, the ideals his fellow priests died for. How do you impress a half-fairy who saved the world at the tender age of 17, who then became the Guardian of Dreams and is responsible for the safety and well being of every mortal creature? Especially! When! You only see them when they’re not busy keeping the universe running smoothly!

Furthermore. 

Please understand that I love Talia and do not wish to vilify her in any way. I point out her flaws because I love her, because her shortcomings are so human and tragic and are part of what make the story as impactful as it is. And Talia... does not easily express affection. She is not likely to have cuddled Dameon during the times his father took him to the Dreamworld-- which just can't have been often, I just can't imagine a parent who even kind of cared about their child taking them to such a place frequently. She is not likely to have praised him or spent any notable amount of time showing interest in his interests. I do not say this to condemn her. She had a lot of responsibilities. She had never been a mother before-- and yes, she had a great example of motherhood in her Grandmama, but her own mother also left her in the care of others, abandoned her to pursue a louder call. Is it any wonder that she ultimately did the same to her own child?

She has no real relationship with Dameon. Even without all the evidence I have already laid out, this much is obvious in the way they speak to and about each other. Talia doesn't even mention Dameon is her son when she first tells Rhen about him. She gives him no more than an epithet, "Dameon, the sun priest." She does not express particular concern over his safety, even though she knows the druids are in danger and she herself was almost killed. 

And Dameon calls her “mother,” and it is not because of the dialogue style of the game. Talia calls her parental figure “Grandmama.” Rhen calls Tailor “Pa” and “Daddy,” and Ma is known only as “Ma.” But Dameon calls Talia “Mother,” and his father “Father,” because that is the level of familiarity between them. The Maurvas live a strict, solitary life. Is it any wonder that Dameon is stiff and formal at the beginning? Is it any wonder he struggles to connect with others beyond a thoughtful compliment or an antiquated form of greeting? He doesn’t like himself, let alone trust himself. No one has ever taught him how to. He is so isolated, and lonely, and touch-starved, and unloved, and if that was the end of his character it would still move me. But there is more.

Talia literally killed his father, her own husband. It had to have happened when Dameon was still very young. If you take into account Devin’s apparent age, and the fact that a barely-aged Jack in av2 remembers Alicia as queen of Thais when we know that you can only ascend to the throne of Thais if you are married, and a few other details which I would be happy to pull up if anyone is interested, you will realize that Dameon can’t possibly be more than a year older than Rhen. More likely, he is younger, and this would be in line with the other canon ships we see throughout the Aveyond series.

 And we found out in Rhen’s Quest that his father was murdered “many years ago.” MANY! YEARS! He was still a child, maybe 11 years old, at my best guess. He most likely hadn’t even attended a magic school yet. It’s possible he wasn’t even thinking about it. And then he had to take the position as Druid of Light. When he was a child, still mourning the death of the person most precious to him, at the hands of the only other person he could have had any semblance of a relationship with in all of Aia.

The people who were supposed to be teaching Dameon how to be gentle, loyal, and upright instead taught him how to hurt, and betray, and murder those closest to him. Even without Ahriman's influence, how is a child raised in that environment supposed to turn out healthy and good? 

And yet he is still good! He is gentle and thoughtful towards not just Rhen but everyone he meets on the quest. That includes heckin MAD MARGE if you forgot. That includes an actual ogre. That includes people who are spiteful and dismissive towards him. He treats Rhen like she outranks him, the Guardian of the Sun, when she is still a peasant with a practice sword. He is kind to literally everyone except Talia, and he is at least respectful even to her. He never raises his voice at her. He never calls her anything except Mother. Never traitor, never murderer, never any of the curses we know Amanda had no qualms about using because she used them plenty in AP. Just Mother. 

In fact he appears to be the reason Ahriman decided against killing Talia. Yes, Dameon wants justice for his murdered father. I think anyone who is being honest with themselves can admit they would, too. But he doesn’t want to kill her. He doesn’t want her to die. He just wants her to understand what she did, to understand the hurt she caused. He is apparently so against killing her that Ahriman has to change his carefully laid plans before he can convince Dameon to change sides.

And consider. During all of this, Dameon is literally possessed by Ahriman, or under his demonic influence, or however you want to phrase it. This influence likely began even before the game, but even if you ignore that, it is no small thing. Remember how quickly Mel became corrupted under this influence? Remember how quickly Galahad, who resisted the urge to drink blood for actual centuries, became corrupted? The fact that Dameon has any shred of goodness at all, after years of exposure to such darkness, even if you ONLY take into account the actual duration of the game, is evidence that Rhen is right; Dameon has a genuinely good, incredibly strong heart.

And speaking of that conversation. Please allow me to share some of my favorite screenshots in the entirety of the series. 

My precious sun really went from this: 

To having this very level-headed and respectful conversation, of which I have shared only two tiny snippets:

To THIS:

This. Is tangible, real difference, at a rate which makes sense, and I am so proud of him. I have seen people try to dismiss it, and his other development, by saying he is just pretending in order to make Rhen trust him. That literally. Does not make any sense. First of all, if this was part of his efforts to persuade Rhen to join Ahriman he would have done absolutely anything except agree that perhaps Talia was right. He would have tried to convince Rhen that Ahriman was right, not admitted he may have been wrong. And second, even if you ignore that incredibly obvious discrepancy, he either would have forgotten about the conversation with Rhen by the time they returned to the sun shrine and his mother asked him the question again, or he would have pretended to have forgiven her completely. Instead, he acts as though he is uncertain, because he is uncertain. 

And his actions in the dream realm, confronting and fighting Agas for attacking his mother and desecrating her shrine, prove that he is sincere. Of course it takes him some time. Of course he hesitates. Forgiving someone for taking your parent from you is an enormous act. Forgiving someone you trusted for causing you that much pain is unfathomable. His progress is profound and inspiring and does not deserve to be treated like any less.

And he makes this progress while still under Ahriman’s influence! Can you even imagine! Aasgakadgjlkjklj. He tries to do what he believes is right even at the cost of those things most precious to him, his beliefs and ideals and the sacred memory of the person who raised him. ONE conversation prompts him to question everything. While Ahriman still has possession of him. I cannot even begin to comprehend being that brave. And this is just one small example.

I have seen many negative, unfair evaluations of the fairy dust scene. It is deeply tragic to me that such an important, eloquent, beautiful symbol could be so widely misunderstood. I have tried to explain it before. Allow me to indulge myself once again. 

Fairy dust always reveals the truth. This effect is well established, not just in Rhen’s Quest but even in Ahriman’s Prophecy. It heals physical wounds (aka HP) and reveals the truth, and that’s all. There is never any indication that it can change hearts or magically “goodify” anyone or anything. It is not a deus ex machina. It was included specifically to exclude the possibility of that interpretation. It only reveals the truth, and if Dameon had already been aware of the truth, or if he truly honestly wanted the same things Ahriman wanted, it would have changed exactly nothing.  That’s why Rhen’s choice to use it is so significant. It shows that she trusts him, as he is. She knows that he has a good heart and will do what is right when he knows what that is; she has been saying so for the whole game. In the final battle she gets the chance to prove she believes that.

And she does. 

And she’s right. 

When the truth is revealed to Dameon, he follows it, at the cost of his chance for justice, at the cost of living forever, safely, with the one person who has ever shown him any significant amount of affection, at the cost of everything he ever dared to want in his short, lonely, miserable life. While still under Ahriman’s demonic influence! Ahriman is still in his head! And he chooses to resist even though it means he will lose everything. 

Now, this whole plot could have worked without the fairy dust. Previous cutscenes in the game have already proven that Dameon listens to Rhen. The screenshots I included are just a few examples of this; trust me, I could go on for a while. Dameon believes her and believes in her and trusts her, where he doesn’t trust himself. Amanda could have had Rhen just tell him what to do. Rhen could have had another conversation, told Dameon to switch back, and that would be that. It would be consistent and believable with what had happened in the game thus far.

Except then Dameon still wouldn’t trust himself, or like himself. He would still be lonely and self-loathing and miserable, or even if he wasn’t, there would be plenty of room for that interpretation. 

But instead Rhen gives him a choice. Instead Amanda makes it clear that his redemption is not Rhen’s responsibility, or her decision, or her doing at all. All Rhen does is throw the fairy dust, and then lets Dameon realize what is right, and choose for himself what action he will take. She gives him the opportunity to trust himself, to believe in himself, for perhaps the first time in his life. She makes it clear that she believes in him. She gives him the support he’s been starving for his entire existence, and then she steps back, and let’s him choose.

This part is so significant for her arc, too. I have ranted about it elsewhere but allow me to sum up: Rhen has spent the game feeling like she doesn’t have a choice, and questioning her own judgement and her own significance. Dameon is the first to give her a choice, one which she seriously considers. She realizes she’s always had a choice. And she finally acts on her own judgement, without prompting from anyone else (in fact, without prompting even from the player, because as you might recall the choice the player is offered has always been “fight Dameon,” and yet Rhen never lifts a finger against him). She trusts her own heart and invites Dameon to trust his. She has always been a hero but this is the moment she really steps fully into the role. She saves herself. And then she gives Dameon the choice to do the same. 

And they fight Ahriman, at staggering personal costs. Dameon fights while, again, still under Ahriman’s influence. He has to fight Ahriman physically and mentally, or spiritually, or all of them, most likely. He is not free until Rhen plunges the Sword of Shadows through Ahriman’s heart.

This part. I cry every time and I am crying thinking about it. Dameon has been a prisoner for likely as long as he can remember. His father supported Ahriman. He likely let that influence into the sun shrine. He let it affect Dameon. Dameon has likely never known a life without that darkness. Or if he did, he was too young to remember it. And now, finally, he is free. There is light for the first time. And because Rhen gave him a choice, he has the confidence and experience to stay free, to make himself and be proud of himself and not be just what he thought his parents wanted. 

His gratitude to Rhen is profound. He has always been respectful and supportive of her, he has always listened to her and trusted her, as demonstrated during their first conversation when she meets him in Aveyond, and their conversations in the manor in Sedona, and every other tiny interaction they have. He looks up to her immensely.

And I think that is part of why he is so resolute about continuing in his role as the Druid of Light. Rhen has spent the game shouldering responsibilities that no one else could or would. Being the Guardian of the Sun is his responsibility, and he is determined to follow her example. 

It is also the only thing he has ever known.

In the midst of his own uncertainty, still reeling from his own losses, resigned to a lonely eternity in his childhood prison, he still offers Rhen his support and devotion. This is before she ever makes her choice. He listens to her, sympathizes with her, and encourages her. He loves her, explicitly, out loud in canon dialogue, in literally. Every ending. No matter what she chooses. Nobody ever taught him how to love and yet he does it so scrupulously. 

And in the canon ending, the True Ending as many of us like to call it, he finally, finally gets a chance to grow beyond his family’s legacy. To love someone and be there for her. To be adored by her. To be happy. To make a difference. To live a good life and die of old age and be buried beside his best friend and true love, and to face the shadowy unknowns of the afterlife together.  And he accepts it, in an instant. 

This is redemption not only for himself but for Talia, and Nino. All the Maurvas with their good intentions, who never got to see their happy ending because another call was too strong. Talia gets a second chance to watch her son grow, this time in a kinder world. And she gets a second chance with one of her dearest friends. Nino's legacy of absence and broken trust is finally set right. They all get a second chance to become who they intended to be, before they heard the calls they could not ignore. All because Dameon chose truth and love over every other voice, at every cost. 

It was a very fairy-like thing to do. In overcoming his families' legacy, he steps into their true heritage. Aian Fairies value truth and love most of all. 

There is an inscription on the statue that guards the fairies in AP.  It has always resonated with me and I think it will help describe what I mean here:

Heart of gold thy secret guards

Love, felicity, light

Gaia's precious children

I am moved. I do not know a better way to say it. Dameon Maurva inspires me, and comforts me. His example has made me a better person. He has made me a happier person. I am so grateful to Amanda for being brave enough to tell the story she did, and being brave enough to stick by it. Her story changed my life and I honestly, truly do not believe I would be here without it. Her story saved my life, and I can never praise it enough.