#they were roommates rmb

[cleekleequlee]

Reflecting on development - a personal note

Memories come back to me from time to time for different reasons. When discussing the elusive topics of the more-than-human and posthumanism, at the same time I think of my distant childhood days, when at the age of twelve I lived in my middle school for about a year. It was not a proper boarding school, just an old classroom with 14 bunk bed / 28 roommates in it. All my belonging was in one big wooden box (like one of those boxes in old days woman get married with filled with marriage deposit by her parents. I wonder where that box is now?). There was no toilet in the building, meaning in the winter days of -5C you have to walk outside of the building to wee. Nor is there water supply. We each had a bucket which we fill with water and carry upstairs each day for brushing teeth and washing face. Of course no hot bath.

It sounds not only old, but like last century (indeed it is last century). But that was the humble upbringing of mine. My parents were distant from the start, maybe because I'm diciplined and too scared / anxious already.

Amid the frustration of finding I'm still not as confident, as outspoken, as articulative as I wish, as what you see young people from top universities naturally do today, I have to remind myself again and again the path I have walked to simply get here.

But what is this experience of any value other than self-content and even indulgence?

This summer I had the chance traveling to Australia and States. Somehow the kitchen and toilet got my attention. The western kitchen demonstrated a standard (or at least expected by airbnb users) - full sets of dishes (one big and one small) and cereal bowls, glasses, mugs, wine glasses. Behind these are their long maintained lifestyles. The form of the kitchen is compatible to (and co-evolved with) the sets of utensils over the period of 1-2 centuries. Even deeper beneath the organization (and diligence put in by housewives) is the aesthetics of order and cleaness. Walking into this kitchen from a chaotic, hot and splashing (dangerous!) Chinese kitchen, one can easily come back feeling ashamed and not "modern". (Let alone the fact that Chinese kitchen has exploded with kitchen appliances catering every particular needs in life thanks to consumerism and its big population base.) I myself has been one of them, coming back and trying to imitate one trick or two for a long time.

But this time I start to ask two things: what is the logic of a Chinese kitchen if it is not purely order and cleaness? And what are the the conflicting forces behind the kitchen that makes it "feeling messy and outdated"?

Memory comes again... not in a linear thread of thinking, but I thought of in my Western China hometown, noodle and potato was the stationary food. The only vegetable supply at the time was Chinese cabbage, and mom works diligently to make tomato sauce of our own each year - not for the sake of special flavour, but for keeping some tomato for the winter that goes to almost every dish. Local food is the manifestation of local produce and local economy. We had so much carb and so little meat and vege, and fish was a once in a year event. That's why hot oil splashed chili is a stationary on the dining table and can be added in every dish. We simply needed some flavours to go with all the carb.

And I remember how, in my teenage years, I bought a Dove chocolate bar, probably a 50 gram one, with 5 RMB (less than a US$). I ate it slowly, wrap it up carefully after each bite, and finished it over a week time.

Rather than thinking of this limited variety of food as a "lack", I'd say I didn't feel that way at all at that time. Lack is only when comparing to another and believing the other is better, being it a spatial comparison (seeing other people in other places) or temporal one (looking back from today). And really a spatial comparison when done in a particular and embodied way doesn't really lead to a feeling of lack. I remember when I was in primary our family visited my uncle's family in Shanghai. Their food was terrible in my then opinion. My taste is coupled with the food I grow up with.

So what does all this lead us to? Development (in postcolonial sense), or the project of modernization, is the backdrop of my upbringing. In a timespan of only 30 years I (and many people around me) in China marched from our humble food and kitchen, weekly hot shower, and 28-people dormitary to a modern life. We opened our kitchen, tore the wall, expanded it to host all the things that were shiny and new that we brought from our trips, that we invented in the same learnt spirit (or we think - I think of the Piet Mondrian style glasses that were in every Chinese family in early 90's, even no one knows his name at all. I think of the italian country style crochet sofa panel that never existed with a Italian grandma).

Is there a thing of our own? Did it exist? Can it be retrieved? Or maybe, among the rich and messy details of reality, among the memories like how I learnt to make noodle from scratch when I was 8 or so, such a "tradition" only exists when articulated and abstracted?

If the whole development project was a messy example of "learning another culture, or way of living", it seems to be an explosive one that bombed the original texture of life into pieces. Were we to do it differently, not in a way that the "advanced" trying to teach the "primitive" and the "primitive" trying to absorb and catch up, but as two strangers getting closer and conversing, both trying to understanding why are the difference there in the first place, to not only take the form of Monderian or crochet, but the logic of order and cleaness and the appreciation of Sicilian sun and time, could the process and result be different?

And what does that teach us to become "posthuman"?

[umichenginabroad]

Week 11: Explore！

"Is Shanghai fun?", my uncle had asked me in the first week during May. My first impression of Shanghai had been its sheer size, so big I didn't know how to start exploring. Now, with less than two weeks left here, my answer to that question is a confident YES! To recollect my memories of the fleeting moments, I dug into my photo album and saw familiar faces and recognizable landmarks belonging to the different cities I've traveled to. For this week's blog, I want to share some of my experiences here (and tempt you to come to China). Now let's get to it!

May

The first month was all about exploring Shanghai, before classes started to hit and the electric fan started to blow warm air. It was about overcoming unfamiliarity with a new environment and making new friends as walls came down, revealing lively personalities. There were times when conversations dropped, replaced with awkward silence. Later, I became comfortable with the group's silence at times like when we crammed and stressed over our approaching midterms, or when we're so tired we collapsed on the hotel's beds and napped the day away, or when everyone scrolled on their phones as we stood, squatted, and inched forward on the super long line for one short and bumpy ride. With the new friends I made here, and my cousin who's doing the same program, and my other uncle who was vacationing in China and joined me for a bit, I explored a lot of places and got to know them all better. I experienced the magical air of Shanghai Disney, witnessed the frantic bike rush after class, got good canteen food with my buddy and classmates, explored the other SJTU campus at XuHui district, and held a concert glow stick for the first time at a meetup with a Shanghainese friend.

Between studying for classes and enjoying the summer, I have chosen my priority. I went from taking the ambitious 12 credits to doing the bare minimum 6 credits. My mindset changed as I realized I can take classes anywhere anytime, but I only plan to study abroad this one time in my undergrad years. I am not good at multitasking to handle both classes and traveling, so I made my choice. I'll have fun in China and lock in when I'm back in Ann Arbor. With my classes down to Calculus 3 and a Chinese culture class, I'm aiming to get A++ for both classes!

June

June was the rainy season. Shanghai became wet and humid, unfavorable weather conditions for biking, so I rode on cabs a lot. My traveling outside of Shanghai peaked this month, and my photo album overloaded from all the picture spamming during the weekend trips. I wrote three travel blogs during this time. Over the Dragon Boat Festival weekend, I traveled to Qingdao and Yantai and saw a memorable sunset over the bay. I came back on Monday and had the holiday food ZongZi (glutinous rice wrapped in bamboo leaves that can have sweet red bean paste or salty pork belly for fillings) for dinner.

Scrolling down my June album as I write, on the following week, I took an hour long subway to Qipu Lu (七浦路) to shop for Qipao. I have something to share about the marketing and sales here. At one of the first stores we visited, we decided to look around more and compare our options before paying hundreds of RMB on a traditional Chinese dress. However, the owner was not chill about it and began to persuade us to buy the Qipao by offering more discounts. Despite our assurances that we would come back, she insisted we were her first customers and that it would bring bad luck for the day's business if we left without purchasing. Sellers can't force customers into buying, so she eventually had to see us go. That was my first time in Shanghai watching and experiencing such direct sales tactics. Anyways, we ended up getting our Qipaos at another store and dressed up for Suzhou :)

Later in June, I went to Hangzhou twice, once on a program trip to the water-town Wuzhen (乌镇), and the other time I visited the West Lake (西湖) with my roommate. Here are some pictures, some of which I'm stealing from my previous blogs.

Shanghai

Yantai

Suzhou

Hangzhou

July

July was when I brainstormed indoor activities to avoid the heat. I wanted the rain back. I would gladly welcome the dull cloudy sky, the humid weather, and even the puddle splashes that stained my shoes, anything but the glaring sun. Despite the heat, I traveled every weekend. In the following order, I went to Changzhou (常州), Changsha (长沙), Nanjing (南京) & Yangzhou (扬州), and Fuzhou (福州).

This is Changzhou, where I went up the tallest pagoda in the world.

2. Changsha really surprised me.

It's even more crowded than Shanghai and has a vibrant night life. We arrived in the morning and checked into a cute family room that has a rocking horse seat, mini teepee, and astronaut themed decorations on the wall. We napped for hours and came out at around 5pm to see the city.

Changsha is known for their good food. I missed their 果呀呀 fruit teas and 茶颜悦色 milk teas topped with whipping cream. I also had the authentic ChangSha stinky tofu, and it didn't smell as strong as the ones in other cities.

We waited for the DuFu River Pavilion to light up at 7:30pm. It was built to remember the famous poet DuFu from the Tang dynasty, and here's a screenshot from the video as we counted down.

We saw the gigantic sculpture of Chairman Mao below.

3. Nanjing and Yangzhou

Nanjing Massacre Memorial Hall and Museum

4. Fuzhou was to see family, bring luggage to make moving out easier, and rest at home.

Okay, that's all on traveling. I've been exploring China for almost three months now, and there are still so many places I want to visit. Seeing giant pandas before I leave is one of my wishes, and I'll be able to fulfill that soon at Chengdu next week!! I had hoped to give helpful tips for planning weekend trips and crafting itineraries, but my writing power is faltering, so I think I'll save them for another time :) 拜拜!

Vivien Lin

Computer Engineering

UM-Shanghai Jiaotong University Joint Institute

[thechaosoflonging]

cute tings my besfwen during da 4 days we spent hanging out tog when he came back 2 ie:

when we were on da train he said “let’s make this more romantic” as he opened his bottle of chardonnay

when we ate w his frens in da pub he also said “how romantic” when he was sitting across from me sharing a bowl of chips but i dun rmb what da context/joke was lol

said he rly liked da matching phone case i got him n let me put it on for me him in da car when normally he heyts ppl touching his phone

grabbed me by the waist in the yaccuzi and pulled me onto his lap. he gave me a kith on my neck and we sat there as the sun was setting

took lots of photos of me in da yacuzzi/tiny house location & even a secret candid shot of me walking under sum pwetty lights which he said were v cute

lent me his tshirt 2 wear after his shower bc i forgot my sleeb shirt

was super respectful & didn’t try anything w me bc i’m aseagul but also we both slebt in our underwear

took a shower tog after da yacuzzi

da next morning he showered while i brushed my teeth in da bathroom idk it made me feel like we were living tog

told me i looked gorgeous in my swimsuit

let me lean on his shoulder in da yacuzzi and also on da bus ride from town back to his house

bought me ice cream even doe he didn’t want 2 initially

paid for an hour of pool

told me abt his work/living sitch/roommates idk he prob doesn’t open up 2 ppl abt dat stuffs in full detail bar his mom & his guy besfwen

showed me sm music & was telling me stories abt them & told me deep down how he felt abt old music vs modern music

was holding my hand, playing w my hair, held da side of my hand and did da scratchy ting he always does & sang/dedicated cute ass lyrics n moments to me

bought 2 deformed gingerbread man as a way 2 make me laugh & also bc there was 2 of us~

fed me gingerbread man as i was cooking tteokboki

told me he wanted to bring his lab coat n glasses into my crèche n do an experiment w my toddlers “o shit i didn’t bring my lab coat w me, i must come down w my lab coat & whoever is talking gets to wear the lab coat”

[kiconwrites]

Where the Heart Is

Bokuto / Asahi • 8k • Rated T

Azumane Asahi needed to find an apartment in Osaka right as Bokuto Koutarou needed to find a new roommate. It was perfect timing, and meant to only be temporary, but as time goes on it becomes more and more permanent...

Written for the "They Were Roommates" Haikyuu Reverse Mini Bang.

AO3

[utterlyinevitable]

I Loved You First (BONUS!)

Part I ⩫ Part II ⩫ Part III ⩫ Part IV ⩫ Part V ⩫ Part VI

BONUS: The years to come. 

Pairing: Colin x Penelope Rating: T+

Series Summary: What if Colin loved Penelope first

Chapter Summary: Author’s Note & a scene from Colin and Penelope’s wedded bliss.  

a/n: thank you for reading! this mini series has been so much fun to write

______________________

Author’s Note: 

I’m sorry for how the series ended and for crushing your expectations. From the beginning it was always planned to end this way, right back to the beginning of RMB with a slight new perspective. 

I just want to clarify some things that popped up in the comments section. 

Yes, they still take 10+ years to get together. They’re both still too immature to end up together right now. I firmly believe that both Colin and Penelope need to be comfortable with themselves before they can be open enough to build a love together. What they felt when they were teenagers was, for the most part, just a crush. 

Colin doesn’t yet know what he feels for Pen is, except that she is his favorite person and dearest friend. When his roommates brought up marrying her (a girl the same age as he), Colin went into protector mode (whether he realized it or not) - he wouldn’t do anything to ruin his best friend. He was scared that he’d scandalize them both and end them quite before they could even begin. Colin needs to find himself and his purpose, become less self-centered and consumed by only being perceived as charming, before he can understand his feelings. There are times down the line where Colin would rather have asked Pen to come traveling with him - and if this was modern day, he would have gone gallivanting with her by his side. Totally definitely moderately platonically of course.

Pen doesn’t expect him to grovel for stopping their correspondence. She trusts him implicitly; that he would stop it for a good reason. He is a good man away at school where he surely doesn’t have a spare whim to entertain her with. 

Does he feel bad when he sees her and she asks how the rest of his learning went? Yes. He does try to apologize for stopping abruptly and hurting her feelings in the process. That he enjoys their friendship. Pen tells him she understands and she enjoys their friendship too.   

As annoyed and disheartened as Pen becomes with being ‘on the shelf’ for so long, she is content. By age 28 she has a thriving business and two wonderful friends, and a family in the Bridgertons whether she has their last name or not. Penelope doesn’t need Colin to love her back romantically. Their oddly close friendship is enough. It must be. She feels loved by him even if it’s not in the marriageable way.  

Over the years Colin brings her gifts such as books and ribbons, and writes her letters. Little trinkets of understanding. He calls upon her first and foremost when he’s back in London, dances with her and compliments her outfits no matter the color (more so if it’s garish to lift her spirits). He takes notice of her because he always has; always will be in tune to her. He notices her more and goes out of his way to spend more time with her for the three years prior to their engagement. Maybe because he’s finally seeing her as a woman - he sure has had a lewd dream of her every now and again (that he tries to forget before facing her every time). Maybe it’s because he’s spending most of the year abroad and he just misses her presence.  

His love for Penelope is so ingrained in who he is that on the doorstep of Bridgeton House when he declares he will not marry Penelope Featherington before his brothers, Colin does so out of embarrassment and self-preservation. Wanting to end the conversation swiftly, and not spending a glazed moment entertaining what life would be like married to Penelope in front of his brothers. He stands firm he won’t marry her because she has never been so inclined, nor was he ready to settle down yet. Her reaction to overhearing the conversation stoked something deep within him. 

His love for Penelope is so ingrained in who he is that it took him far longer than he’d like to verbalize those three words. That already being wed, being bare of all their secrets, being joined together in ways they couldn’t fathom back when they were fifteen, were all it took for the words to align with his heart. She may have said it first, in the heat of the moment. But he meant it first. Who she is and scandals that may follow be damned. Colin Bridgerton is in love with his wife. 

And many months into their wedded bliss, stood on a veranda somewhere looking out over to dusk scenery, his arms wrapped around her waist, Colin Bridgerton pepper’s sultry kisses down her neck. 

“I thought you were hungry,” she says. 

“I am,” he nips at her exposed shoulder, “For you.” 

Penelope rolls her eyes and turns in his arms. She reaches, tines her fingers through the long locks at the base of his neck. A look of pure unadulterated devotion mirrored between them. 

“Sometimes I still cannot believe it,” she mutters. “That we are here. That we are wed.” 

“I love you, Pen. All my life.” 

She smiles brilliantly; “But I loved you first.” 

“You may have said the words first, but I felt them first and foremost.”

“Colin Bridgerton, I have loved you since I was 16 years old.” 

“Penelope Bridgerton, I have loved you since the first day I met you.” 

“Do you truly remember the first? Please, enlighten me.” 

“Alright, maybe not exactly the first time. Definitely that season. That is a season you irrevocably changed my life.” He takes a breath, a chance to run his thumb across the apple of her cheek. “I remember you asking me a question and then you laughed. And I have been enamored with you ever since.” He could feel his wife melting in his hands. “Now tell me.” 

Penelope happily obliged. “You fell off your horse, and I too was done for.” She boops the tip of his nose, “No one else for me but you.” 

He sputtered a laugh. “Embarrassing myself is what’s done it?”

“The way you looked afterwards. How are you just carried on like nothing happened.”  

Colin smiled through trying to remember the moment. Anything that could place him in that time from their shared past with her. But nothing - he couldn’t even remember falling off the damn horse that season. And just when the silence dragged on a little too long he says: 

“Thank you” ever so cheekily, “That officially means I loved you first.”  

“If you loved me first then why had you taken so many years to declare yourself?” 

He saw the challenge for what it is. Instead of volleying back, he simply asked: 

“Would you have given up Whistledown as soon as I married you? After Oxford?”

“I…” 

“I still like to think I would like to travel after university. And as my wife you would be required to join me. That means not being back for the season or engaging in the gossip of the ton…” 

Resigned Penelope replies, “No, I should think not. She was just starting to do good business by the time you finished your studies. It would have broken my heart to give her up right before the hit its best years.”

Musing, honestly, Colin adds, “I would have been a terrible husband back then.”

“No, you wouldn’t have. Less sure of yourself, but still… attentive.” Her eyes twinkled, rivaling the incoming stars. 

A gleaming and boyish smile curved Colin’s lips. “I love you.” 

Penelope rose to the tips of her toes to lessen the distance between them. Her face mere inches from his, her soft yet determined words caress his skin. “I love you most.”

________________

a/n: thank you! i love these characters so much and am really hoping to explore them further 💞

[your3fundamentaltruths]

WIP Game

Post the names of all the files in your WIP folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. Let people send you an ask with the title that most intrigues them and then post a little snippet of it or tell them something about it! And then tag as many people as you have WIPs.

Thank you to the wonderful @jake-amy, @sofwrites, @useyourtelescope for the tags! I've lost track of who else has already been tagged, so please feel free to consider yourself tagged if you haven't been already!

So, I'm limiting this to Bridgerton WIPs. Polin unless otherwise noted, but I love to include arcs for other characters/ships in longer fics.

Active WIPs

can't we talk it over in bed (canon-era AU)

I think I've seen this film before (and I didn't like the ending) (modern AU)

the last seven years continuation (kinda active, insofar as the main story was posted) (canon-era AU)

the pen's in my hand (modern AU, includes a bunch of other significant secondary ships)

please don't take him just because you can (book missing scene, family fluff)

turn around, bright eyes (canon-era AU)

Unpublished WIPs

all my scars are golden (canon-era fic, book/show fusion)

all these things will catch up to you (canon-era fic, book/show fusion)

and they were roommates (modern AU)

a careless man's careful daughter (canon-era AU)

do not disturb (book missing scene)

Edmund Lives AU (canon-era AU)

the golden age of something good (canon-era AU)

IIHK missing scene (book missing scene)

matchmaking AU (canon-era AU, Polin and potentially also Francesca/Michael)

mia out (modern AU)

the other side of the door (canon-era AU)

put him on his knees and give him something to believe in (canon-era AU)

RMB/WHWW missing scene (book missing scene)

RMB + EATM NG (next-generation fic)

some things you just can't speak about (Anthony & Nicholas-centric canon-era fic)

that's a fine-looking high horse (canon-era AU)

there was a love affair in this building (canon-era AU)

a true soulmate is a mirror (canon-era AU)

waking up in vegas (modern AU, Polin and significant platonic Peneloise)

why can't you see (canon-era AU)

you will be loved by somebody good (canon-era AU)

Mostly Just Vibes

first comes baby (modern AU, Nicholas/Georgie and Polin)

a kiss is for two people (canon-era AU)

miss my wife (book missing scene)

mother knows best (book missing scene)

my brother's keeper (book missing scene)

prêt allez (book missing scene)

twice comes scandal (canon-era AU, Nicholas/Georgie and Polin)

[spookysh00ky]

SOMEONE PLS HELP ME FIND THIS FIC!!!

Can someone help me find this yoonmin au where jimin has a crush on this guy from his dance class but he wants to be experienced in kissing so he asks yoongi. Jimin and yoongi weren’t really that close but yoongis the only person who he could ask and yoongi says yes. they kiss in yoongis bed and then jimin runs away. a few days later jimin goes back and talks to him that he still wants to learn and they kiss. There was a scene were jimin fell asleep in yoongis couch (i think he was roommates with joon) and since it was later he slept with yoongi. I think there was also a scene where jimin and yoongi go to his crush’s cafe (he bakes) and the dude brings a cake for them and yoongi leaves so they can spend time together but i think the dude called jimin cute or smth and he didn’t like it bc he didn’t want him to see him as cute or smth. I can’t rmb anything else. I’m not sure if it’s an ao3 fic or if it’s from twt. pls help me🥲

[adashofniallandasprinkleoflunacy]

ANDREA!!! Hi i love you, hope you’re staying hydrated and well! Just wanted to ask if you knew who wrote super moody art student Harry and i can’t rmb if it was OC or Y/N who was his roommate and she was his subject for his final and something and H used photography as his medium for his final and they were caught in the rain and showered tgt or something

HI I HOPE YOURE WELL TOO!! I don’t know this one, sorry :(

[iloveyouw]

16 Nov 2022 omg its my brothers bday 9.30am ish

here is my attempt on giving my life review.

1/5 stars. hate the old me actually but here goes. honestly dk if this is what u want, but i think i shall express it in my own thoughts.

when i was with Gary i was young. he was my first love. and it wasnt how i thought it would be. i think he is a great person, but and a subpar boyfriend. thats maybe cos of our age gap. i always felt very small with him and i hate being "shut down", i was young and energetic. i had goals and dreams. i wanted to be an art director. when i was 19, we all had that conv of what do we see ourselves 5 years later. i said i dont know. it feels far away. little did i know the worst years of my life was about to happen. when i was 19 i was already a broken person. what happened to me the first time to an unknown stranger, it felt forced. i wasnt ready 100%. i was pessured because back then the ppl around me were not virgins anymore. it felt like i was in a rush to prove myself. i know. i know. that sounds fucking, incredibly dumb. what can i say? i was young and stupid. i always find the need to lie about my numbers. i told gary he wasnt my first, just because im scared of feeling more than less than if it were the case. i told him he was my third or second. i dont rmb, i rmb lying about it. i was ashamed, he had like 9 or 10. again, incredibly stupid. i could never be myself. as i grew older, i always learn and find myself being ashamed of who i am. who i was. who i would eventually turn out to be. theres just, always a reason to be ashamed of myself.

when i broke up w gary i wasnt in love with him anymore. i did not give him proper closure. he was left in shambles. right away, i went to exploreeee, i am 20 now. i was scared of hooking up. haziq warned me about how the first times would be like. its a thin fine line to thread. i threaded it and narrowly escaped. matt. the first hook up. i took it pretty well. it was awkward as hell. like fucking awkward. uncomfortable awkward. but i wanted it. i wanted to try. i knew i had support. i always make sure i am cushioned if i fall. horrible thing to say yeah; well matt used me. i didnt know that until 6 months later he snapchatted me and ask if i were around. he didnt even remember i dont live there. i met 7 australians in the span of 2 weeks. well sorta. i rmb being ghosted by 1 and i left 1 half way. i rmb i told him (i need to pass my roommate the keys to the apartment, its v last min srysry) and i up and leave, we were at a bar LOL. i was scared. so minus that 2 i met matt, jerry, guy 1 (where we just made out), guy 2 (where i just gave him a bj lol horrible too), alex (the one that begged me to go over). matt wasnt an issue, i forgot how he looked like, but i rmb his dog. and i rmb it being extremely awkward. but i told haziq i think i got attached. but i was not la. i was confused at that time. but it deep down i know it wasnt anything. horrible guy for expecting me to go back 6mths ltr.

jerry. he was a great person. he didnt use me. jerry wanted to hang out with me and get to know me, like actually. within a week, we met like 3 or 4 times? it was different yknow, he treated my like a local and respected me! he brought me to get groceries beers, hummus, snacks and we sat at a park. it was a beautiful day and view. weather was great. we talked. thats the first time. then the next one he brought me to a rooftop bar!! v cool place along the melb street. i miss that place. not the disgusting men. but i fell in love with melb!! then after he brought me over. but we didnt hook up yet. we sat at the porch and listened to our fav music. i shared turnover with him and he shares his with me. i dont remember though. after awhile it go warm we head in, ordered pizza and watched black mirror. he was the one that got me hooked to the show!! he bought everything including ubers and shit. we smoked a joint and it was very common there. everyond had weed in their pockets. like 9 out of 10 people have. then i got comfortable with him and thats when we hooked up! i stayed the night i think. then next morning he sent me back. i think he was in the midst of moving, so the next time we met was his new place? really cant remember. but we hooked up again and he was the first guy that bother to pleasure me. come to think of it. gary like nv go down on me before. not any that i can rmb of anyways. back to it, i didnt know how to cum lol so i pretended it was nice but really i dont know how to feel. and then i cant rmb but i think he send me to school that morning and when he dropped me was like alot of traffic and i almost got banged haha and he texted like be careful u almost got smooshed. so thats nice. thats all ah. to me jerry was a nice cute little relationship that we both got like a lil attached but knew it couldnt be anything. and nothing better than both parties feeling mutual yet agreeable. so i liked that! plus he was essentially doing my dream job, abit different but still hes creative! (back when i had dreams)

and then comes the shitty people that i always try to forget, like the one that ghosted me -.- and the one that i knew i wasnt gna get anything out of it but felt obliged to meet since we agreed. then i sucked him off which honestly, did i want it? back then maybe. but it felt more like, compliance. which i know, again, horrible. then the skinny one, at least he have the decency to buy me a drink... but thats the least he could do honestly. not worth, 0 worth. but i tried saying no. and i wasnt firm enough. so that happened. i will give him credit for sending me back the next day. although it made me feel like shit so he ought to. honestly he ought to do more but ugh whatever.

dumb dumb dumb and dumbest thing about to happen u ready? i came back and that was when i knew kegan. so i give u an example. it wasnt the exact dates ah, but its how rmbed it to be. nov i knew qai, dec i knew kegan, jan i got tgt with kegan. so qai was there all along. he liked me, i just didnt like him like that. we kissed cos i didnt know what to do. I KNOW HORRIBLE TOO LOL but he wanted more and i pushed him and said no. i knew i didnt want to have anything like that with him. i guess i dont know how to say no. its true. then kegan lai liao lor. first time we met i think we talked first. yknow, hes an asshole. he had to cheek to tell me (when we were alrd tgt) that the first time we met he purposely suggested somewhere near my place so i would say yes) i got baited wtf. i have something thats unrelated that i can tell u about kegan, if u wna know i tell u but im not gna write here, but just for my reference it is about matthew.

first time we met, i just came back from australia. im "new" and "changed", yknow, not timid jo anymore. proud of what i did. c00l. so i acted like im not afraid of meeting new people and hooking up. "its normal what" mentality. so first time meeting kegan, i told him "u want or not" HAHA and then he said i was bold and he liked me. and i tell u kegan is the biggest loser of all time. i fucking hate him. hes the biggest shapeshifter, he is NOT who i thought he was and he was amazing at doing that. again, maybe the meth. omg do i have a special spot for him in my heart cos i turned out to be him... living a fake identity and trying to run away but get pulled back by meth.... ok i stop here for now. i go think about that first then cont LOL its been an hour ish alrd. i dont know if this is what u want. i will just post it it can serve as a reminder for me to... although im afraid of whats to come... hais. ok nnww

side note, in melb i walked alot. i walked everywhere. i rmb walking for like 3-4 bus stops and go shopping alone, i just opened my google maps and see a mall, i maps my way there, then this old lady asked me for directions, which was very cute!! i acted like im a local haha and used the map to show her where she was going, then she gave me coins LOL and forgot what she said, but smth like get ice cream or smth. so thats very cute.

[5llowance]

When someone says China is the world's 2 largest economy via /r/China

When someone says China is the world's 2 largest economy

Whenever someone mentions that China has the 2nd largest economy and implies that the people must be living high quality lives, the following comes to mind:

The majority of people i knew while in an urban part of China were considered middle class

They usually lived with 5 other roommates and had to share a community bathroom/shower

Their couldn't afford or refused to pay for the convenience of having hot water or AC or heater

They mainly ate 5-15 RMB meals which was mostly noodles mixed with some shit who knows what was in that shit, or dumplings, mantou, etc.

They only went home during CNY

They worked from 8am-9pm Monday through Saturday

They usually never owned their own cars. Either bike, ebike, or public transportation

They rarely could afford the latest iPhone. It was either 2nd hand iPhones or just Huawei/xiaomi/oppo.

Their clothes were low quality. Like, very low quality and had terrible fashion.

Is this considered high quality?

Submitted June 16, 2020 at 02:47AM by LePastuor via reddit https://ift.tt/2N0uVLo

[wannawrite]

I Latte You Very Much

Wanna One’s Hwang Minhyun X Reader

Word count: 1761

• talented af barista! Minhyun like srsly he can do anything • your friend [ created character, Sujin ] suggested this new cafe • you now spend most of your time there…wonder why ;)

awwwww this one was adoraBLe I LOVED IT I HOPE YOU DO TOO ANON THANK YOU FOR REQUESTING. I’m sorry I only got it out like 3 weeks later :( i hate disappointing you guys still, thanks for showering us with love. We love you guys 💓

- admin L

PS: to be edited [ 8/8/2017 ] 

edited 11/8/2017 __________

The pen that was once in your hands landed with a soft thud on your workbook, uncapped. You had tossed it down with an irritated growl, upset about a certain mathematics equation that seemed simple enough to solve yet it had twisted you in circles for the past 10 minutes. It was driving you mad.

Just as you were about to give up studying as a whole, your best friend, Sujin seemed to sense your mood was off and called you.

“Hey!” She greeted enthusiastically before you had even said a word. “Remember that new… well two month old cafe everyone at school was talking about? The one with the insanely good coffee and really good looking baristas? I’m having trouble with homework too, want to meet there? Its like a 2 minute walk from your house anyways.”

“Uh, sure. Okay. Dress cute.” You mumbled, almost too tired for words but the prospect of good coffee AND cute boys made your feet move a little faster.

“Okay! See you then.”

Beep.

Your homework glared at you, the mountains of papers seemed to grow by the second. You had to finish them, this was a good chance. You were killing three… or four birds with one stone.

…

It was rather late when you arrived at the coffee shop but lucky for you, it was those kinds that stayed open until 2am. The lighting was rather dim and ambient around the seating area but you were almost blinded by the spotlights at the front of the shop.

However, if it weren’t for those lights, you wouldn’t have noticed the incredibly handsome barista who was currently taking an order.

His smile seemed to illuminate the room, his hair looked fluffy and softer than swan feathers. The man’s eyes twinkled as he beamed brightly.

You were stunned by his beauty to say the least.

So as to not seem like a freak, you forced your legs to move, to unroot from your spot in the middle of the entire shop to where Sujin sat, her table nearly hidden by books. The cafe was pretty crowded, she was lucky to be able to clinch a booth. You had a feeling the both of you were going to be here until closing time. College was hard work.

Sujin smirked as you approached, settling your things down beside her. She reached over and grabbed your forearm as you moved to take your wallet. “So, you think he’s cute?”

You furrowed your brow, faking confusion but she had been your friend for the longest time and saw right through your facade.

“Well, I don’t know much about him but his name is Minhyun. He’s in the music course with Sungwoon, he works here almost every day and yes, he is single.” She winked, taking a sip of her iced vanilla latte. It seemed to satisfy her tastebuds, that made you look forward to getting one too.

You blinked once, staring blankly at her. “I didn’t need that information though…What are you-”

“I saw the way you looked at him. Your heart jumped. Did it not?” Sujin smiled smugly. “Did it not? Hmm?”

A blush filled your cheeks as you bonked your wallet gently on her head, chuckling while trying to remain a calm composure. Now that you pondered about it, you had seem his handsome face sometimes in between classes. He must know Ha Sungwoon and Ong Seongwoo, two of your other friends in the music course.

Perhaps I could ask Sungwoon about him….

Shaking your head, you banished all the odd thoughts from your mind and walked forward into the queue. Sujin tapped away on her phone and you hoped she wasn’t texting Sungwoon or Seongwoo about Minhyun. If she did…you weren’t sure what would happen to her after you were done with her.

Sujin owes me a coffee. Ugh…should I get a strawberry cappuccino or a regular latte with requested foam art?

The customer in front of you ordered a iced matcha latte so you figured those must be pretty good.

“And… your name is?”

Oh my god, it was a place where they asked for your name. Sometimes I really hate this concept.

“Oh come on hyung, we live next door to each other,” the youth in front of you whined.

Minhyun laughed, scribbling down the boy’s name. “Okay, one iced green tea latte for Lee Daewhi. Hi, what can I get for you today?” He smiled at you.

You felt your steps falter as you approached the counter, it was suffocating to be in the presence of Minhyun’s beauty. On top of that, he seemed to have a nice and friendly personality.

“Uh���uh, um. What do you recommend?” You blurted out after a series of incoherent stuttering, your cheeks flushed red right after realisation hit you like a truck. “Sorry, that was so dumb of me.”

“It’s fine. Don’t worry about it,” Minhyun reassured, he put his pen to his lips, deep in thought. “If you like tea I really recommend The Sunset which is pomegranate, mango and peach tea combined. Hmm…what Daewhi ordered is a personal favourite, especially with azuki beans and chocolate sauce. Uhh, my friends seem to like the macchiatos but Bae Jinyoung is in charge of making those today and I would advise against trusting him.” ( rmb when everyone felt played bc Baejin tricked all of them hehe ) Minhyun drummed his hands on the counter, lips pursing as he thought hard. “What about a secret menu drink?”

That caught your attention, you looked at him with wide eyes. “Really? You’d do that?”

Minhyun nodded. “Yeah, of course. I can hone my barista skills. Give me a minute or two. Jisung hyung!” Another man came running from the kitchen, drying his hands on his apron and taking over Minhyun’s job at the cashier. He winked at Minhyun suggestively causing the him to roll his eyes and shake his head.

“Thank you!” You called cheerfully as you watched Minhyun gather several ingredients, he smiled but didn’t take his focus off his task. The sweet gesture made you blush and your heart fluttered madly in your chest. It was such a random yet genuine offer. Your face didn’t cool down even after you returned to your seat despite how dim the lighting around there was. Sujin resorted to fanning your face lightly with a stack of worksheets as she giggled.

“Oh my god…oh my god……Y/N finally has a crush!”

…

You pressed your lips together, the sweet taste of the secret drink Minhyun had created still lingered on your tongue. You remembered how he had came up to your booth and asked for your name, bashfully, ears tinging pink before retreating back to the safety of his bar and hastily scribbling your name on a plastic cup. Sujin had found it adorable, she teased you all night long and it was hard to tolerate but at least you got through majority of your papers. Last night felt like a good dream but the washed plastic cup that sat on your nightstand with your name on it kept you in check.

It was around closing time when Sujin decided enough was enough and packed up despite your protests, she dragged you out of there insisting you had worked hard enough. Minhyun was nowhere to be seen and you sighed in disappointment but acknowledged the fact that he too needed his rest.

Buzz. Buzz.

9.23 am

Sujin: guess what ;) You: what Sujin: sungwoon says minhyun’s single but looking ard ;) You: k so? Sujin: damnit girl take ur chance Sujin: i think you two wld make a good couple You: thanks but no thanks

10 am Sujin: want to go out today? movies? You: wish i cld :((( but i need to finish my work Sujin: aww okie :( gd luck bby

Truthfully, you were going to spend the day at the coffee shop your cute barista worked at, studying of course.

…

“Hey! Uh, uh… Y/N! Secret drink girl, hello,” Minhyun greeted cheerfully when he spotted you entering the shop. “So? Are you up for another off menu surprise?”

You giggled, blushing as you hung your tote bag on your chair. There weren’t many people today, good.

“Surprise me,” you said, winking and surprising yourself at your boldness.

Minhyun seemed… shocked yet undaunted, he appeared to like you posing challenges. “Okay, no problem. Miss Y/N.” He smirked, turning away to form a new creation.

You too, spun away to face your books. The constant whirring and mixing of different machines kept you from concentrating, the sounds only added to the excitement and anticipation. You heard the telltale steps on Minhyun and pretended to be deep in thought when he placed the mug on your table with great precision. Your gaze met his.

“Hey, I hope you like it. By the way….we have never met formally, so, hello. I’m Hwang Minhyun. I think I’ve seen you hanging out with Ha Sungwoon?” He bowed slightly out of respect which you returned.

“Yes! Sungwoon and Seongwoo are my friends so I suppose you have seen me before. Thank you, my name is Y/N,” you replied albeit it was a lame one, you were glad you hadn’t tripped over your words. Your eyes widened when Minhyun slid into the seat across from you.

“It’s off peak right now and I think I should give Baejin a bit of experience. Let’s talk, you seem like a nice person,” he suggested, looking hopeful. “Wait, try the drink first.”

You took a sip, leaving a minor lipstick mark on the side of the mason jar mug. It was very satisfying to your tastebuds, the drink fulfilled every craving you had ever had for sugar. “Mhmm. It’s so good! I love it! Did you come up with it yourself?”

Minhyun shrugged modestly. “I mean, I was just experimenting with some of my roommates and they insisted it was delicious but I only offer it to special people.”

“You have to teach me something! This is like a need now!”

“Maybe,” he told you, batting an eye. “We’ll have to see. How about you give me a call one of these days.” Minhyun slid a small folded up piece of paper across the table, grinned and left without another word.

Your jaw dropped, speechless. Everything he did only deepened your crush on him. The butterflies in your stomach and happiness coursing through your veins weren’t from the boost of caffeine.

Perhaps it was more than that.

[fuckyeahexofics]

fic search #143

the admins goofed the queue and accidently posted our searches out of order. ^_^’;;;;;;;; Please respond to this one using the reply function as we are on hiatus.

1. Athanasia by Leftfoottrapped

do you guys know the fic where tao and jongdae(?) are vampires, (i think maybe tao is a vampire but dae isnt) and tao kills baekyeol then taochen basically have sex in front of their dead bodies? LMAO i KNOW that fic actually has a plot, but i only rmbr the porn hahahaha. id be so grateful if you could find this!🌷

2. deleted

hello! i'm looking for a kyungsoo/jongin/baek fic that i believe i read on ao3 and was chaptered. in the fic, kaisoo were a 30-something couple who started sleeping with baek, who was in his 20s and had pink hair? and eventually they started 'dating', and kyungsoo and jongin had a fight about him and ksoo said he didn't want/like him, baek overheard and they broke up? i think that was the last update i read. anyway, if the admin/readers have any idea, i'd appreciate it!!

3. we walk (hand in hand) by khrysallis

hi!! so there's a fic i think baekhyun was a girl and kris got her pregnant, but he stays with her?? i remember she also falls off a ladder somewhere in the fic LOL thanks guys!!

4.

Hello, admins!!! This blog has been giving me awesome reads for quite while now and I couldn't be more thankful!!! Anyways, can you please help me find this Yifan/Junmyeon fic where Kris was a girl (Kristina) who had really long hair and Junmyeon was looking for a roommate but he didn't expect it to be a girl. I also rmb Kris being an artist and she cut her hair short in the middle of the story??? I hope you can help me!!! Thank you so much!!! ♡

5. Breathing You Back In by leroy_benedict

Hi, there's a fic Ive been searching forever for. I'm hoping it hasn't been removed so asking is my last resort now. It's a fic where kyungsoo is a designer and he meets Jongin's wife who wants him to make a suit for Jongin. The main story is that Kaisoo has a child together but Kyungsoo had left him(or was he asked to leave?)

6.  DELETED FIC SEARCH, PLEASE KEEP IN MIND THAT WE DO NOT SEARCH FICS THAT DON’T FOLLOW THE BLOG RULES. PLEASE. IF IT CONTAINS RAPE AND SEXUAL ABUSE WE WON’T PROMOTE THEM IN ANY WAY.

and the fact that you tried to conceal it, by not mentioning it in the description is just wrong. please guys.

7. tumbleweed by yukkuri

Hello! I'm trying to find a fanfic that I was reading on AO3 awhile ago but lost, I'm pretty sure it was the pairing was Baekhyun/Kyungsoo, and Chanyeol and Jongdae may have been his best friends although I'm not too sure. I remember that Baekhyun has an abusive uncle that works in the town's coal mine and Baek works at like a gas station or grocery mart of sorts and Kyungsoo comes in drenched fetus rain outside. I hope this is enough info, thank you for your help!’

8. 

Hello! I'm hoping someone can help me find a fanfic I read a long time ago (around 2013?) It was ot12, and they were all in an office. All I remember about it is that in one chapter, they all go out to a club/bar, Tao gets drunk, hits on some random guy who smells like gucci black (such a random detail to remember lol) and somehow he and kris end up making out. I think they all go to jail too and CEO!Chanyeol (I think) has to bail them out. Any help is appreciated thank you!!

9. Repent on Your Sins by AbiIsTheBomb and deadgirldancer

I've been looking for this fanfiction for months okay so : Luhan and Sehun are brothers (luhan is 16 sehun is 17) and they grew up in a very religious family leaving luhan quote innocent. However one day he follows his brother out and sees him smoking with his boyfriend jongin, his best friend baekhyun and spends the night with them. Luhan develops a crush on Jongin and watches him and sehun have sex their sister is also either bi or gay- one phrase I remember 'just a bunch of fucked up kids'

10. 

Hi! I'm looking for a sekai fic in which they were together then broke up for some reason but reunited in hong kong or macau after many years. Jongin had been celibate all these years waiting for sehun and they have reunion sex and sehun was working at a restaurant at the time I think. Sorry if this is undetailed, I read it a long time ago and that is the only scene I remember :(

thank you @1chenbaekxi and @thekentraptor, hazecake, jlunmyeon, janette014, godkyungsoo, @k1mk41 for your help!

[monday2econlive]

Name: Junxi Fang

ID: 001034237

Date: Mon. 2:00 pm

Background: 

My father is an authentic music lover, which drives him to purchase a large amount of various albums and play them on his car. Consequently, when I was about 7 years old, I happened to listen to the Jay Chou’s music in my dad’s car.  Then, I became a die-hard fan for him. 

Main body:

As you can see in the first picture, the Bedtime Stories is one of Jay Chou’s albums, which was released in 2018.  

As I have mentioned above, I knew Jay Chou through his CD played on my father’s CD player of his car.  However, at the very early time when Jay Chou  opened his career as a singer, we could only listen to his music through the tapes（ picture 5).

At the early years, Jay Chou's music is basically Private Good, since  CDs and tapes of are both private good, which is excludable and rival in consumption.  You can only listen to his music by these two ways and once you buy a CD or tape of Jay Chou, the other person may be unable to purchase the same one since the production at that time was truly limited. 

As we had entered the electronic age, we can now listen to his music online through many music player websites or APP for free.  At that time, his music became a public good, which is not excludable and not rival in consumption. Everyone who could surf the internet was allowed to listen to his songs without any cost, and there were unlimited  resources of his songs online updated by other. 

Then, there are many online music players appearing in the market. Here I only want to mention three of them, which are NetEase music, QQ music and Spotify.  NetEase music and QQ music are the most famous online music players in China.  All most every Chinese who love listening to the music would like to download one of those two APP on there smartphones. Additionally, the number  of the costumers of these two APP can be counted to more than billion. Simultaneously, the Chinese fans of Jay Chou is also in a great amount( I guess it must be over 10  million as well).  Both of them noticed that the copyright of his music can make them good profits.  Therefore, they suited each other for the copyright.  As you can see on the pictures, NetEase lost the case and QQ music won the copyright.  And there are many cases like that: some companies would like to give the copyright of their singers to QQ music instead of NetEase music for higher profits, some are on the contrary. 

QQ music and NetEase music both have their unique designs and pay the celebrities to advertise their product.  Time flies, they became the most well-know ones in the market.

 As a result, NetEase music and QQ music are now the duopolist of the online music players.  They both published the VIP service, NetEase music charges 9 yuan in RMB per month, which is approximately 1.5 dollars; and the QQ music charges nearly the same price, which is 12 Yuan in RMB per month , around 1.7 dollars.  Just as the picture shows, we have to pay 20 Yuan (around 2.5 dollars) to listen to Jay Chou’s new album at the early time when his album was released.  

Now there are many things we need to consider: the first thing is should I pay the 2.5$ just to listen to his album as soon as possible ? Or I can wait until the copyright expired, then I can listen to that album for free since I have already paid for the VIP Service. 

Oh, I forgot to mention: now Jay Chou’ music become both private good and club good for certain condition.  If you want to listen to his music at the first time his album is released, you need to pay 2.5$ for one electronic copy of it online, then it is the club good( excludable for people who don’t pay for the Entry Fee of the digital album, but since it is digital, it doesn't rival in consumption).

Or if you are not in a hurry, you can purchase the VIP service and then listen and download his new songs in that album for free( think about the margin ).  It is apparently a Price Discrimination on Jay Chou’s music.  For the die-hard fans just like me, we are definitely  willing to pay the 2.5$ just for his new songs at the time his album is realized.  But for the rest of fans, they might wait until Jay Chou’s album is free to listen again (since  they only pay 1.7$ for the VIP).  

The second thing is the opportunity cost.  The opportunity cost is even you can buy the VIP service on these two APP, there are still many albums you need to pay for additionally on their online electronic music stores.  Once you spent 2.5$ for one electronic copy of Jay Chou’ new album, the 2.5$ you paid cannot be able to buy the other electronic copy of other singers’ new albums you like.  For  “rich fans” like me,  we can buy whatever the digital albums we like on the online stores of these APP.  But for the costumers who are short of budget, they might only be able to purchase one digital copy of their favorite singers' new album.  They have to make hard choice between Jay Chou and Taylor swift. 

For the digital albums, there is one thing need to be mentioned : the price of the same digital albums sold on the online stores is the same, which shows the  concept of Resale Price Maintenance.

There is also an alternative choice for those consumers who don’t want to pay a cent for the music that is using Spotify.  Spotify is free online music player where you can listen to whether the music you want once these songs are produced by the big companies(I notice that I cannot find any Chinese rappers’ songs on Spotify, which can be found on NetEase music and QQ music).  But you may be forced stopped to listen to the advertisement on the Spotify, which is also an opportunity cost of your valuable time.  You can also purchase the VIP service on Spotify to cancel the annoying advertisement, which is 0.99$ per month.  Personally, I use QQ music and NetEase music the most since you can’t see the lyrics on Spotify, which is not that convenient for hip-pop fans like me.

Ending:

I usually play the music at night while I am reading the economic books, which can be both positive and negative externality for my roommate.  If I play the classic music, it can actually help both of us concentre more on the text, which makes my music a positive externality for him.  If I play electronic dance music(EDM) or hip-pop songs, he will be distracted and think my music is an negative externality for him.

There is a singer Name Joke Xue  promised that all of his songs are always free for all, which made his music the public good.  Even though I don't like his personality, I have to admit that he is quite a good singer for love song.

That is the combined knowledge of Music and Economy. Thank you for patiently reading!

[ace2light]

💕

Let’s just talk about poon.

It all started back in korea where people could tell he had interest in me, I couldn’t tell at all. This was how block headed I am. Even Ashley could tell which surprises me because I don’t really talk to him in class. Jiawen was the first one to tell me, I shrugged it off by saying ‘how could it be possible? I am so much older, not feminine, not pretty, not nice figure, so quiet.’ I thought it was because I happened to know xingxi and I went out with the guys in room 423 because jiawen was injured. That’s why we all became friends. I was awkward af then, cos all guys. The only person I ain’t awkward with was xingxi. I got to know poon from here. I didn’t talk much to him initially, I don’t normally talk to people unless orientation because I am anti-social and don’t know how to initiate conversation. Hahaha, I always remember the subtle and small things, my memory isn’t that bad afterall. I am surprised by myself too.

There was once, we were all at the supermarket buying stuff, the guys didn’t take the basket, I took the basket, everyone put their stuff with me, end up the basket was a little too heavy for me to carry. Then poon offered to help. I don’t remember how many times he offered to help and carry it, but I clearly remember he did, that move, I plainly thought he was being nice and gentleman.

Then as the time passes in korea, I started talking to him more as I was more comfortable speaking to him now. He always pat my head, it was the first time someone actually asked for my permission to pat my head, I am surprised lol. Everyone just loves to pat my head because I am short. Regardless, I always like it when people pat my head so nothing surprising. It makes me feel I am being taken care of. As the only child, I always yearns for that. One thing that shocked me was I knew he took photos of me without me knowing in Korea, because his roommate, my close friend took a snap of the photos he uploading on this computer to me. I knew long ago, I had my suspicions when I saw those photo taken, I didn’t trust that someone would actually take photo of me, cos I ain’t pretty. But I didn’t think about it after that.

Then, we started texting abit in korea, which I find it pretty weird, I don’t normally text or call people whom I just know, which explains my replies were either short or late reply to him then. Oops sorry. I just feel that he is friendly so I just reply out of courtesy. I just feel that he is another sean then, pretty touchy. I did tried to avoid abit then. I am still very scared of physical contact due to 2 harassment and 1 uncomfortable encounter with my uncle. I tend to avoid touchy people, especially those that I just met.

Then somehow somewhat, we end up at the rooftop and swing alone, it was then I get to talk more to you, get to know more about you. Normally in a group, I seldom talk because I don’t want to overpower voices so I tend to just listen. I also don’t like to cut conversations, and I don’t know how to enter conversations too. I tend to make more connections with people when I am alone with them. Honestly, I thought poon is an extrovert based on how he carries himself in front of me so I was surprised when he told me he is an introvert. In my opinion, he don’t look like an introvert, I thought he always put on his earpiece because he loves to listen to music/ watch videos.

On the last night, jiawen, poon and me mainly stayed on the rooftop almost the entire night, to play with his camera and to slack. Then jiawen was telling me, why would someone keep trying to write my name.

The last day, we were packing our stuff, jiawen and me finished packing already, we wanted to catch some sleep after packing because I only slept for 3h plus before I started roaming around in school on my own when jiawen is sleeping. When I was about to sleep, poon suddenly appear in our room, I thought he wanted to grab something or borrow something, but he just came to slack lol. I wanted to sleep but he was there, I was randomly meddling with my ipad because he was there I can’t really sleep in his presence, it took me some days to get used to jiawen being in my room, needless to say him whom is a just a friend then and he is a guy. I was sitting on the table in the room, he decided to piggy back me, it was the first time I was piggy back by a guy. I think I almost choked him, Cos my arms are strangling him in a way as I avoided my chest touching his back. I am still aware of the physical contact with him.

Then in airport, we went to eat as a group, people started teasing him and me together. I plainly thought it was for fun so I didn’t say much. I was so tired when we were at the airport Cos I didn’t have much sleep the previous night. I literally lost my energy to be enthu and joke around, I just nua on the chair while waiting to board the plane. He offered to lend me his cap to cover the light off Cos I wanted to sleep. I borrowed his cap till I reached Singapore. Sitting beside him was purely coincidental and a bit of on purpose. Lol. I rather sit with someone I close with than a school mate, so I decided to sit beside him on a plane. I was shocked when the hand rest was pulled up, but then I realised he wanted to put his camera there so hahaha. Then after a while, he decided to offer me his shoulder. I am very scared of take off and take down, so I tend to keep chewing sweets, I have no idea how many packs of sweets I chewed before take off. If I am a frequent plane taker, I prolly would be suffering from diabetes. But anyways, I shrugged off his offer by saying we eat first. I was so awkward, Cos in my opinion, I thought only Boyfriend’s or husband’s or mum’s does that. So I was a little reluctant because of the high degree of awkwardness. Then I was fidgeting so much, then he asked again, Cos I usually sit inside, I always lean to the window but I am sitting outside, I can’t lean. So I gave up and lie on his shoulder awkwardly. It was nice for my neck, I didn’t know it was so comfortable. But my back is breaking Cos I was avoiding as much physical contact with him. There was a pillow between us on off. Towards the end, I felt that his head was on my head, I can’t confirm it until jiawen told me. But then, I pretend I didn’t know to avoid more awkwardness. To be honest, I managed to rest, I didn’t sleep at all that night. I was still scarred by the harassment, so I tend to be awake in front of others and it is near impossible for me to fall asleep in front of others unless I didn’t sleep for 2/3 days.

After we returned to Singapore, I am surprised we are still texting each other cos I thought, the texting would probably stop but it went on, and texting each other more. I totally forgotten to take my portable from him at the airport. He wanted to meet a day after we arrived in Singapore, but I am too tired and lazy to get out of my house. I felt bad to reject, so I said the next day, and I normally don’t want people to specially deliver my stuff from elsewhere to near my house, so I suggested accompany me to watch a movie, I thought as a close friend mah, no other hidden meanings. It was indeed awkward but the awkwardness slowly diminished. As the movie was ‘cringe’ to him, he kept leaning towards my shoulder on and off. Then dinner, I obviously heard what he said but I wasn’t sure. I said sth friend he said girlfriend then I just told him don’t anyhow say ah.

I have no idea how we end up meeting each other frequently also. Meeting in clubroom to watch anime and do a bit of report. I shouldn’t be allowing outsiders into clubroom but who cares. Then we both went for a walk in a ‘forest’ near school, it was damn dark, I was super scared. It was the first time I held on to a guy’s hand, cos I am too scared. I didn’t really dare to grab it as much cos holding hands are for couples, we are just close friends, i was awkward but then I was scared so I rather feel a bit less scared than care about the awkwardness in the dark forest. After we came out of the forest and there’s light, we still continued to hold hands lol. That was when the real awkward came hahaha. Got once he fling my hand off, I was a bit sad then but who am I to hold his hand also.

Certain texts are cringe, initially I thought it was for fun, after a while, I don’t think so already. That’s why I decided to ask him. I don’t know why I kept asking him to accompany me out ever since we touch down in Singapore. Just instinct bah. All these things I’ve shared with my besties cos being a blockhead like me, I don’t get it de, I might feel it but always deny it because of my low self-esteem.

I just randomly asked him to accompany me to the beach to dig out a can I buried. I honestly did buried a can but I couldn’t find it. I also don’t know why I asked him then. I just felt like it. Lol. We drank a can of cider and was just chilling and chit chatting on the beach. Tbh, I totally forgotten what I said then, I only rmb what I did, I rmb holding his hand, and I know I didn’t want to let go also. Cos he usually put his arms around me, but he didn’t put as much this time, I was a little sad. Hahaha.

The way we got together was also very cute lol. I am already sober now. I was randomly sharing with him how much physical contact I dislike cos he said ‘why did he bring me here’. It seems like it was not a happy memory for him cos he found out a girl actually had a boyfriend there. Then I want him to be happy so I decided to ask him the question I had been so curious about. I wouldn’t have asked that question if I not really sure about it. I just wanna confirmed it. Then somehow somewhat it became getting together. Was quite sad he didn’t explicitly say ‘do you want to be my girlfriend?’ Cannot blame him as it was his first time also and prolly came in unexpected. As it was my first time also, I am so scared I accepted him based on infatuation, but then I asked my besties before I asked him whether or not I like him. They all said yes. But I wasn’t sure myself, I only knew I was comfortable with him, I can say whatever that is on my mind, like those normal ones, cos sometimes normal stuff I also don’t say it out to friends. Then after a few weeks, I finally realised and confirmed I really like him. That’s when I finally told him after he constantly asked me to say what I wanted to say, ‘I like him’ to him after the camp. Cos the camp made me extremely stressed, my mood became better when he appear and we hug, instantly became better. The warmth and support and the listening ear he provided really helps a lot. Then before that, jiawen and me spoke almost the entire night, and confirmed I like him.

Then I still didn’t dare to say ‘I love you’. To me, love is a big and ambiguous word. So I wouldn’t say it unless he’s the one. And yes, I said it, which also means I am admitting he is the one. Although he is very far from my ideal type of partner in life, but ideal and reality is different ah. As long as I am comfortable with him, and the feeling is right, these are all that matters to me.

Initially I didn’t dare to say a lot cringe stuff, or be crazy, I filter out a lot of things as I scared he would misunderstand certain meanings like sex. After telling him, I didn’t want, I became more daring to say whatever I want. After telling him what I really wanted and don’t want, I was so scared then, it was like my real thoughts exposed, never had I like my thoughts and true feelings exposed like that, now I am daring and filtering less and less of my words and my actions, at most it is just me being embarrassed and shy.

Although he is younger than me, there are certain things that he seems to be more mature than me, like relationship with things and people. He guided me when I was lost as to what to do, he listened to my rants, showered me with warmth and support whenever I am not happy. I ain’t a person who easily cries in front of others, it is very hard, I have many layers of personality within me. To me, crying is a weakness. I don’t like to show my weakness out. I think he reached the inner layer, cos for me to cry in front of people is extremely hard, given how well I hide myself. His existence is a huge relief to me, whenever i am feeling down, meeting him and either him hugging me or me hugging him is a huge comfort to me, little did i know I would rely so much on a person, it is the first time i actually rely so much. I always have trust issues with people, i never actually let people know about how i feel about them, cos to me, they don’t have to know what i feel, it is not important and doesn’t matter anyways.

After i sent him a long essay about what i felt, i am extremely comfortable with him. He is very handsome and looks smart when he is doing his work, hehe. I always remembered the time he was unhappy when I self-harm, I didn’t know i am so important to someone. I always felt i am not important due to my family. He was the one who gave me the power to stop self harming, each time i almost do it, i think of him, then i stopped. He is very important in my life. I am so used to him now. I love to cuddle, I always like to hug things, now i am slowly hugging him on my own accord cos i am comfortable now. I am also daring to say more and more stuff on my mind although i am still very shy. Hugging him or him hugging me instantly changes my mood, provides me with security, warmth and comfort. Him asking about my day makes me feel there’s always someone there for me. I can find him anytime, i can go to him anytime. It’s like there’s never enough time to spend with him.

However, i still have trouble trying to fall asleep totally in front of him. Well, i have issues sleeping anywhere apart from my own bed so hahaha. I managed to fall into short stint of light sleep already very good le. I like it when he cuddles me regardless of how was it done. I like it when i am being treated like a kid when i am obviously older than him. I like it when he says i am cute, this is really thick-skinned. I like it when he calls me ‘dear’ or ‘darling’, but i still feel it is selfish of me still being extremely shy to call him ‘poon’, i already tried my best. I am a very shy girl. I actually like it when he says cringe stuff, hehe. He prolly don’t know. I don’t mind him being possessive with me at all, I like it anyways. There are times I wanted to let the whole world knows he is my boyfriend, but for the interest of us, I stopped and resisted. I like whenever he says ‘anything for you’, awww, heart melted. I like it when he gives me stuff, whichever the gift is, as long as it is from him, i like it all and I would treasure it. Before i said to stop all those sexual stuff, i am actually surprised he could control himself, that’s what make me trust him so much. I like the fact he respected me. He is literally my pillar now. I listen to him a lot. I never thought i would get so close with someone, including Boyfriend. I like his straightforwardness cos I don’t really have to guess certain stuff.

I am always afraid he got scolded by his parents because of me, i dont want that to happen. So there are certain times, I didn’t dare to ask a lot from him, i tend to try to handle things on my own, also I didn’t want him to be overwhelmed by my problems. I don’t want him to be burdened by me. There are times I wanna just spam him but I resisted it cos I scared I annoy him.

Through these 2 months plus, i really felt a lot of love from him, especially after telling him what i wanted in a relationship. I understand how horny he can get so i only allowed him to touch my boobs, that’s the leeway i gave him. Really hope we can last, i love you truckloads, poon poon darling. Thank you for appearing in my life and become my Boyfriend, i never regretted the stuff we did also. I really hope he would be my one and only Boyfriend.

He prolly didn’t know, the place we got tgt is the my favourite place now. He prolly not the most romantic guy but he is definitely the most caring person for me, for a person who is so wounded.

[kengowasinchina]

Day 1 - Arrived in Beijing!

First day here and we’ve kicked off to a pretty amazing start! The views of the evening sunset from when we left Heathrow were stunning. Since I hadn’t slept much the night before I was able to get quite a lot of sleep, albeit not the best quality.

Arriving in Beijing was certainly an exciting experiance. On the bus to the terminal one of my UoR companions Tam would say I would grin like the Cheshire cat, and for sure I could not stop grinning. After going through immigration and a relatively quick baggage claim, we walked into the arrival lobby where we found a student with the peking University summer school sign. We originally planned to get a taxi but decided to wait 3 hours for the coach instead. Our time was not in vain however since we were able to get know a bunch of the friendliest people from different corners of the world who also came to study at the summer school. After we got on the coach we got our first close up glimpse of the phenomenal architecture of Beijing, huge towers with neon Chinese script, some in unique shapes, others literally appearing to be copy and pasted throughout the cityscape - we have indeed entered an entirely new world.

After checking in and leaving our luggage everyone got together to eat at the on campus restaurant. It was fun experiancing the way Chinese food is shared with the big rotating disk, spinning it round to pick what you desire. We ordered so much food from pork, beef, lamb, dumplings and was all so good, even if it was a bit spicy! And it came down to merely 30 rmb per person which was about £4. The notion of drinking hot water (热水) as a normal custom was interesting too. All in all we had a great time.

Later on I had also met Kafka my Chinese roommate. I wasn’t sure if I scared him at first but then he came to me and gave me a small welcoming gift as well as a few tips on living in China. All I can say is so far I get quite a welcoming vibe from the Chinese people and left me quite heartfelt.

We’ve only just arrived but it’s already felt like a great adventure! Next is registration and orientation so we’ll see how that goes.

[victakestaipei]

WEEK 8 RECAP: The Journey Home

Monday:

Today was a struggle to get up. I sat there all day in class zoning out. We had a vocab quiz today and are working on finishing up lesson 10, our last chapter. We also talked a lot about our bonding event last Friday and poked fun at Felix who was acting a fool at karaoke after drinking too much booze. 

We had such a great time and it hadn't fully sunk in how much I'm gonna miss this small class. After class Bunny and I went to the computer lab to work on our listening homework, but not before I asked my teacher to write a recommendation letter for me. Which she happily obliged. I'll probably get it emailed though since I asked her pretty last minute. I also went down to the main office in the building to request my grade (Record of Study) for the month of August to be mailed to my house back in Reno. It's all really coming to an end. Bittersweet. After class today Bunny and I went to one of our favorite potsticker places right by campus. We stuffed our faces with veggie, curry, and spicy Korean style potstickers while reminiscing over the past two months. After we ate we headed home to relax and start the packing process.

Tuesday:

Today was our last day of class. Our teacher brought us egg scallion pancakes as a parting gift, as well as my letter of recommendation in a sealed envelope. I’m so surprised!! Our class was pretty laid back today. Wednesday is the actual last day of class but both Bunny and I leave Wednesday to head back to America. I'm so excited to surprise my friends and roommates by landing in Reno on Thursday instead of Saturday!!! It's going to be great. After class, and taking our last pictures and giving our last hugs, Bunny and I headed home as we weren't too hungry and needed to finish up packing as well as do laundry and a bunch of other stuff.

Here’s some Taipei flicks I took from the bus window... I’m going to miss this city!!

Later in the evening Bunny got us some boba, as I wasn't too hungry still.. I also got Bunny to start watching Insecure. She loves it and I'm so happy she's watching it!!!

For dinner we ate at the soy sauce braised place. Everyone there was so happy to see us and loved my hair (it was in a fro). When we left we told the workers we were going back to America and that this was our last meal here in Taiwan, and one of the workers even hugged us goodbye. So so sweet. We rode the bus back home and took the scenic route to take in the last few sights of Taipei night life.

We also watched the live stream of the eclipse tonight. It was cool!!!! I watched it on twitter because the US is like the only place where it's a full eclipse. It's only partial in other countries.

Wednesday:

Today I got up at 9:30am to get ready. It was so sad seeing Bunny’s stuff all cleared out already. She had left early this morning around 5:30am. I got up, and went to breakfast alone at our neighborhood spot. It was delicious as always, but I was eating all alone which made pretty sucky. I hadn't realized how attached to Bunny I was until I had gotten back to the room and was sitting on my bunk bed steps crying. I had an emotional moment and I was SO happy to be by myself. After I pulled myself together, I packed up the rest of my stuff and headed down to the main office to return our keys.

I left the house around 11 to head to the bus with all my luggage. It was a struggle getting around but I managed to make it to Taipei main station and onto the express train to the airport by 11:45am. I got to the airport around 12:30. I tried to check into my flight just before 1, but was told it was too early to check in for my 5pm flight, and I had to wait until after 2... So I found a table and an outlet and just sat and waited it out. I came back down to the ticketing area around 2 and was able to weigh my bags and my big bag was only a few pounds overweight!!! PROUD!!!! So I switched some stuff around and got the weight down with no problem. I was checked into my flight by 3 and headed to security. I got some food at Burger King (it was cheapest) and ate there in the food court. I headed to my gate and sat there a while before they moved our gate and delayed my flight by an hour. So I switched gates and waited at the new gate on a lower floor. We began boarding at 6:20ish... and our original flight departure time was 5:20. But the flight is only 2 hours and I have an aisle seat, fairly close to the front of the plane (because I checked in so early), that it shouldn't be too bad. Part 1 of my journey home begins NOW!

After getting off the plane I went to baggage claim and got my bags. My smaller bag came out first. I originally thought my bigger bag didn’t make it (because it was taking so long) but then I saw a small woman dressed as a flight attendant standing next to a huge burgundy bag (my bag) and looking around. She retrieved the bag from a separate baggage carousel, right next to the one all the other bags were coming out of. This other carousel was labeled "oversized baggage claim"... lol of COURSE. So I waved her down and rushed over and took my bag off her hands.

After getting through customs which was a breeze, I looked up the hotel on my phone to see how far it was. It was only an 8min walk!! So I decided to hit the road, dragging my suitcases behind me. It was dark at this point as it was after 10pm, but I found the hotel with no problem and checked in and went up to my room. I was exhausted. I talked on the phone with my mom and some friends (those of which still don't know I was at a hotel in China rather than in my dorm room), and I took a shower and knocked out. I woke up fairly early, around 6:30am and forced myself to go back to sleep for a few more hours. After 10am I checked out of the hotel, and caught the free shuttle service the hotel provided to drop me off at the terminal up the road.

I got in line at the ticketing counter and none of the workers had arrived yet. There were other passengers waiting too, but they weren't behind the ropes like I was. So when the time came for everyone to get in line, I was first in line bc best believe I didn't move when all of them tried to cut the line ;) lol.

I checked in and checked my bags with ease. I had to go to baggage inspection after ticketing , and I found out I couldn't bring lighters back to the US from China. So I had to throw away two really cool lighters I got as gifts for my stoner friends lol. The guy who was also working the baggage inspection was a total prick. HE BROKE THE HANDLE OF MY SUITCASE!! Asshole. But it's okay. I got through immigration and security pretty quickly and now I'm sitting at the gate eating a subway sandwich. I also got two cookies but they aren't half as good as they are in the US. The 12in sandwich and cookies cost me about 95 RMB.... Money of which I didn't have to spend because I was given some money by that kind Chinese guy who helped me buy my hotel on my way here back in June. This journey back to the US is 99% better than the journey here, and for that, thank you JESUS.

I board my plane in about an hour and 15 minutes (1:15) and from there I'll be on the plane for 12 hours before landing in LAX at 11am (pacific time).

My flight to Reno from LAX isn't until 6:30pm, so I'm hoping I can hop on a standby flight earlier so I can get home earlier... I'll keep you all posted ;)

On my flight to LAX from Nanjing, I got another awesome aisle seat only 4 away from first class. I’m feeling BLESSED to be at the front of the plane, but I know it's due to me checking in so early yet again. Thank goddddddd. Emptiest plane I've ever been on. The flight attendants started to close the overhead cabinets, and each row, including mine, had 1 or more empty seats in it. I was the only one in my row. Best believe I'm about to lay down and nap. 

Update: Our flight has been delayed an hour and a half on the tarmack. We are just SITTING HERE!!! Doing NOTHING!!! This is the worst ever.

Second Update*: I could not sleep a lick on the plane. I am delirious. I have watched what seems like a million movies and I feel like my eyes are BLOODSHOT.

I also have had to pee a million times since I’ve gotten on the flight so I keep getting up to run down the aisle to the toilet in my socks. HELP!!! This flight feels like an ETERNITY!!!

Our flight landed in LAX around 1pm (the original arrival time was 11am) and I can say I’ve never been more glad to be in America!! GOD BLESS AMERICA!!! After speeding through customs, and baggage inspection, I headed towards Southwest to check my bags for my evening flight to Reno. While I was in China, Karis texted me saying that she will be able to pick me up from LAX and spend some time with me before my next flight, so that’s exciting!! I can’t wait to see her!!

Update: Karis never showed. She texted me as if she was waiting for me at the Southwest counter, but come to find out, MY MOM COMES WALTZING FROM AROUND THE CORNER!! I AM SHOOK!! AND ECSTATIC!! MY MOMMA SURPRISED ME!!! Her little devious self. So SO cute. She made plans for us to grab lunch and catch up. I’m so so happy.

For lunch, my mom and I visited this restaurant on the marina that we’ve been going to for as long as I can remember. The food was so good, and you already know I had to order a MIMOSA!! God bless America.

After lunch, I actually still got to see Karis, despite her LIES!! Momma dropped me off at the LMU campus and I spent about 45 minutes with Karis catching up, before she dropped me at the airport. I’m so thankful to have a best friend like her. The surprise was the best welcome home present ever.

I boarded my flight to Reno with ease and am scheduled to land around 7:30pm. I am probably going to Uber home because no one knows I’m coming hehe. I can’t wait to surprise everyone. It’s going to be so great.