#they were my mutually aesthetically pleasing gay ship your honor

[bittertomato]

I miss YachiShio 😭

[volturialice]

the twilight fandom 2019 ace exclusion drama: G Reminisces

gather round my foolish infants who showed up here sometime after february 2019 and never had to walk two miles uphill in the aphobic snow both ways to Tumblr University. in honor of aroace visibility week I’m gonna try and recount the events that transpired that month ✨💕 SO tw for discussion of aphobia and brief mentions of biphobia and transphobia under the cut

also I should probably mention, for context, that I am a bi ace in case you’ve forgotten 

let me set the scene: early 2019 was the roaring first crescendo of the Twilight Renaissance. twilight had been rereleased in theaters for the 10th anniversary mere months before, and follower counts were skyrocketing as more and more people flocked to tumblr to rediscover their tweenhood fave and make gay shitposts about it. midnight sun was a hilarious punchline that would never be published, carlisle cullen was an unproblematic cinnamon roll king, and you could be canceled for thinking too hard about the volturi. people who had the idea to ship bella with edythe or jacob with benjamin were given the nobel prize for these groundbreaking gay discoveries. in short, everything was Effervescent.

my own fledgling blog was just starting to gain a little traction. my first “that blew up” post was mere weeks old, and I was mutuals with all the Big blogs in the fandom, but had nowhere near the, uh. for lack of a better word, “clout” I would later obtain.

when out of the fucking blue, one of the aforementioned Big Blog Mutuals made a crack to the effect of “haha isn’t it funny that these hets are rebranding as ‘ace’ and think they’re lgbtq+”

and everyone else collectively went

and asked them to please elaborate their Stance on ace inclusion. so they doubled down on exclusion (in a real nasty way, iirc!) and when asked where they stood, their friends also responded with casual, jokey aphobia. the nicest ones came out with weakass takes like “oh I think being aro/aspec are valid identities they’re just not lgbtq c: !!” and then reblogged sillyfun posts from their friends comparing aroaces to the poor persecuted ogres from shrek, or laughing at the “forever virgins.”

again, at the time these were like 60% of the biggest, friendliest blogs in the fandom (granted most of us had only known each other for 3-6 months, but that’s EONS in internet time.) blogs known for their fun shitposts and aesthetic gifsets and cutesy oneshots. and suddenly they were out here unironically spouting classic takes like “it’s not a REAL identity it’s just a phase before you realize you’re actually straight or gay,” “you’re not ace you’re just a traumatized survivor,” “aroaces haven’t been systematically persecuted so they can’t possibly be lgbtq+,” “being aroace isn’t visible so it’s not lgbtq+,” “aroaces are just hets invading lgbtq+ spaces...” y’all can imagine. the same bullshit arguments that have been use by t*rfs and biphobes for decades, repackaged and redeployed against aspecs. (intersectionality ftw!!)

that was a fucking crazy rough time for me personally because, since coming to terms with my own ace-ness a few years prior, I had been quietly coasting along, never imagining people out there, some of whom were my mutuals and “friends,” not only held so much fucking bonkers irrational contempt for me and my identity but were gleefully self-congratulatory about it to the point of capital-C Cringe.

suddenly I was having to question every single new person I interacted with to see whether they would turn and sneeringly accuse/gatekeep/scoff at me for what I had thought was a pretty non-dramatic facet of my identity. I remember DMing @flowerslut​ like “hey...so....are you an aphobe? please don’t be an aphobe” and shannon being like “lol no I’m a bi ace” (hard to believe there was an era before we had gotten drunk together and thrown axes and shaved each other’s heads on separate occasions. always shave your friend’s head sober)

but it was also a crazy...not good, but significant and transformative time for me, because I was learning so much. how to slam the block button, for one. but I was also learning a lot about myself, and how much stronger and kinder and more mature I was than I had ever imagined, and that was an incredible self-discovery. I was forced to reckon with my own ace-ness head on in a way that I hadn’t been before, and found myself with the confidence to come out to family and friends as a result. I had never thought too hard about whether or not I (and other aspecs) “counted” as lgbtq+, and now I found not only my own convictions that yes, OBVIOUSLY we do, but also a community of people who went to BAT to support us and try to educate the fandom at large. I made so many new friends and discovered some truly amazing blogs I am still mutuals with to this day! (y’all know who you are. this is me reminding you I love you 🎃)

and I also gained, like, a fuckton of followers just for making my own asexuality more visible and doing the bare minimum to be vocally supportive of aroace inclusion. and that’s what you call ironic

I don’t have any of the aphobic posts from the period preserved (for obvious reasons,) but for anyone who’s curious, here are a few posts I reblogged from that time. &

I also wanna extend an open invitation for anyone who has questions (about ace-ness, or bits of recent fandom history like this, or their own sexuality, or anything) or just wants to talk to DM me! I’m not as active on here as I used to be, but I do check messages.

finally,

to the haters:

first of all, thank you for helping me rise to power it feels great and i’m gonna use it to spread my nasty little agenda 

second, oh yeah you guys sure are cool leftist queens for [checks notes] recycling transphobic/biphobic talking points in order to harass and gatekeep a bunch of stangers on 2019 twilight tumblr for [checks notes again] minding their own business not feeling sexual/romantic attraction and daring to identify as queer. you’re a regular marsha p. johnson they should throw you a parade

anyway I sincerely hope y’all have learned and grown and educated yourselves since then and that you’re having a blast in the fuckin. law and order pixar fandom or wherever lmfaooo 😘

I love being a forever virgin shrek ogre uwu 🤠✨💜🖤💚

HAPPY ARO/ACE VISIBILITY WEEK