#they usually just end up being traumaholders or symptom holders

[piplupod]

i think i'm becoming immune to being cringe because i have animatronics in this brain now apparently

[traumaholdercultureis]

hey um not sure if I'm a system but yeah I have this one person in my brain. I mean. I have many people in my brain. like. 10. but this one person is the sad one who holds everything. I think that's a trauma holder? shes sad and shes really very much depressed. shes a bit scary. little me doesnt like her very much. is she the trauma hol der? and like. how did you figure out you where a system? only answer if you are comfortable of course! thank you!

-🌻 anon (might become my sign off if it turns out I'm a system)

Hi anon! I’ll start off with a little disclaimer. I am by no means a professional, just someone sharing their experiences. I may get things wrong. (If I do please correct me!)

With that out of the way, I discovered my system when I first started therapy. I noticed how my therapist said that I acted differently in sessions. I didn’t remember acting different, so I took her word for it. Later, during a particularly “intense” session (aka one where I talked about trauma) I felt like I couldn’t control myself. I was talking about things I didn’t remember happening. In hindsight, I know that it was actually a traumaholder co-fronting with me.

I was very confused after that, so I began researching all the symptoms I was displaying. I was in the questioning phase (not implying systemhood is a phase, I just mean you won’t be questioning forever!) for about two or three years.

What finally made me realize and accept that I was a system was cofronting with a protecter during a very stressful situation. He introduced himself to me and began talking about how to cope with the situation. And the rest is history! /lh

Moving on to the other part of your ask, I usually classify traumaholders as parts/alters/headmates (or whatever your preferred terminology is) who deal with trauma in a way others don’t. By dealing with it, I mean coping with it, remembering it, talking about it with therapists, etc. Some alters may remember trauma without them being traumaholders (gatekeepers for example.) It varies from system to system.

Another important thing I’d like to mention, is that it’s completely okay for you to question if you’re a system and end up realizing you aren’t. I think the OSDDID community puts so much emphasis on labeling yourself as a system that it ends up confusing people. But system or not, your trauma matters. Dealing with it in a healthy way is extremely important.

That’s all, and good luck on your journey!