#they taste ok- a little different like all USian sweets do compared with UK and EU

[wild-at-mind]

Did German sweet brand Haribo make it to the US?

[steamshovelmama]

Too many jokes about warm beer...

OK, guys, This has cropped up about five times in the last week in the, “Do you Brits really drink warm beer?” sense. A few people actually seem to be serious, so here is a Public Service Announcement about British Beer.

Firstly the question, “Do you drink your beer warm?” (which for the sake of this post is defined as room temperature, or more likely, a little below because no one actually drinks warmed beer whatever the Americans think...) This is like saying, “Do you drink your wine warm?” To which the answer is: it depends. White or Rose - hell, no! Red - of course.

Only a philistine would drink chilled red wine. It would taste horrible. The complex flavours would be lost and it would just taste thin and bitter. On the other hand, white wine is distinctly unpleasant when not chilled. Different products.

Thus it is with beer. Many USians do not seem to realise that what they casually refer to as beer is actually only one style of beer. It’s descended from a European lager. Lager is brewed with a bottom fermenting yeast that is specific to that style of beer. Lager is relatively young as a drink, dating back only to the late 15th/early 16th C. The yeast is much more cold tolerant than traditional ale yeasts (of which more shortly). This strain of yeast ferments slowly in cold temperatures producing a clean and crisp but relatively uncomplex flavour which is very different to ales whereas ale yeast stops fermenting in cold conditions. The yeast is also sensitive to alcohol so lagers cannot be brewed to as high a strength as ales. Lagers were traditionally laid down in the cold atmosphere of caves (actually known as lagering, giving the style its name) and the long slow fermentation followed by a long settling period means the sedimentary particles present in the brew dropped out leaving, again, a clearer, crisper, simpler drink that is most suitable served chilled - or traditionally, at the lagering temperature which would be considerably warmer than we now, in the age of easy refrigeration, usually drink it. However, the clean, simple taste copes well with temperatures associated with modern refrigeration. Just like white wine.

Ale does not.

Ale is a style specific to the British Isles. There are similar style beers scattered throughout Germany and Belgium - and Northern Europe generally - but they are so much of their own local tradition that it is fair to say that ale is a British drink.

There are several types of ale - mild, bitter, porter, stout, barley wine etc - plus subdivisions of each of these. They all share the same process of fermentation with a traditional ale yeast which is top fermenting. This yeast (Saccharomyces cerevisia - also used in bread and wine making) ferments at a higher temperature than the lager yeasts and is stopped dead in its tracked by cold weather. This meant that in most places, ale brewing did not take place over winter. The fermentation process was faster and shorter than lager’s, producing a drink that retained a lot of substances that affected the flavour. Because of this, ale’s flavour is heavier, more complex, and bitterer than lager. This is why, in Britain, lager is often derided as a young person’s drink - what you drink before you can cope with the Real Stuff. That or a Lady’s Drink (in half pints, in a suitably goblet shaped glass...) There is a grain of truth in this because many of the commercially available lager styles in Britain are utterly awful, being (sorry guys) basically bland, US style lagers. And, overall, US style lagers are pretty bad. Guys, you lead the world in many things, but not large scale lager/beer production. That’s why so many areas of the US have a flourishing craft beer and micro-brewery culture. Proof? Get a bottle of your Budweiser and a bottle of the original Czech Budweiser (usually marketed as Budvar) and compare the two. Budvar is a gorgeous traditional mid-European lager. Clean, crisp, but with a proper mildly bitter flavour. Budweiser... well, frankly, it’s piss.

All the lagers that are worth drinking in Britain are European imports or brewed under license - Stella Artois, Becks, Peroni etc. They are also noticeably more expensive.

But ale... ah, the ale styles are cheap, numerous, individual and very, very interesting. They are “live” beers (ie not pasteurised), served from tap or handpump and you have to have a level of skill to keep and serve them succesfully. They are best served at their traditional temperature which is “cellar” temperature. That would be cool but not actually refrigerated. Chill it and it loses the flavour - mostly. In fact, stouts are usually chilled these days, and the lighter end of the scale - the golden ales - are often served lightly chilled as a summer drink. But your true bitter or mild is best drunk at slightly below room temperature. Just like red wine.

Having said that, many chain pubs in the UK (looking at you, Mr Wetherspoon...) have taken to serving all their drinks at virtually sub-zero temperatures. This renders the shit lagers drinkable (you can’t taste them) and the ales undrinkable (you can’t taste them). There is a fashion amongst younger drinkers to want to have ice cold drinks, regardless of the style. For proper UK beer, find a smaller local pub, and you’ll find out how this stuff is actually supposed to taste. Probably... Although, it’s also possible you get some nasty, ropey crap that will give you a bad stomach - remember what I said about the skill needed to keep this stuff? If it tastes vinegary, or has a faintly stringy feel (”ropey”) don’t drink it, demand your money back and go elsewhere. There aren’t many pubs with truly bad cellarmen these days but you run into the odd one now and then.

Having said that, the best cellarman in the world can have the odd barrel that’s not as it should be. It’s perfectly acceptable to return a pint that’s a bit not right. The barman should taste the drink himself and if he agrees the barrel is off, or coming to the end (beer may be a bit sedimenty) he should get it changed immediately. Well, immediately after offering you another pint, either from a different barrel of the same beer if there is one, or another beer if not. It’s also acceptable in many pubs to ask for a small sample of a beer you haven’t tried before to see if you like it. This will be free. And, yes, the beer flavours do vary to that degree.

Every area of Britain has its own local brew, often available from a pub attached to the brewery “the “brewery tap”). Popular ones can also go nationwide - Doombar Ale is probably one of the current most fashionable ones. Black Sheep Ale is another.

TYPES OF ALE

Stouts and Porters

Originally Stout was a term for a strong beer, but now it means a very dark one. The colour of an ale is dependent on how dark the barley was roasted. Obviously this also affects the flavour. The term porter was coined because the drink was popular with London porters in the 18thC. Eventually different strengths of Porter were brewed with the strongest being known as “Stout” porter - which just became stout. WIthin this group are:

“Milk Stouts” (contains lactose which cannot be fermented so it is sweeter. Was thought to be healthy and used to be given to nursing mothers)

Dry/Irish stout (basically just standard stout without the lactose/sweetness. The style became associated with Irish brewing and Guinness is the most famous example though there are several others)

Oatmeal stout (contains oats as well as barley)

Chocolate stouts (usually just a stout with chocolate notes in the flavour but a few of these do contain a small amount of chocolate)

Oyster stouts (yes, these are actually brewed with a handful of oysters in the barrel. I did say complex flavours...)

Imperial Stout (a style similar to the stout that was exported to the court of Russian Empress Catherine II. The only real difference is the strength which is usually above 9%)

There’s a Baltic Porter too which is a (usually Polish) recreation of the Imperial stout exports.

Bitters

The “standard” beer served in British pubs. Not actually that bitter - the term was coined in the 19th C to differentiate these sharper, hoppier beers from the... well, milder milds. US drinkers are probably familar with IPA (India Pale Ale) which is a style of bitter that ended up closer to lager in look/taste (though remaining more complex and less crisp) because of the effect of the export journey to India. People liked the flavour and IPA became a style of its own.

Bitters vary from pale gold to deep brown but, unlike stouts and porters, are not opaque. They are descended from the everyday drink of the British and should not be noticeably alcoholic as you drink, though they can creep up on you if you’re not careful... in pubs you can generally find ABVs between 3.5%, suitable for drinking all afternoon, and evening, and about 6%, suitable for 3 or 4 pints over a night out, preferably with food!. Pubs don’t usually serve stronger bitters as a matter of course, though near Christmas you may well find an Old Ale or a Barley Wine, which are much stronger. The Golden Ales which are popular lightly chilled on a summer afternoon fall in the bitter category.

There are traditional names for the various strengths. Session beers are below 4.1% ABV, Best or Special Bitter is between 4.2 and 4.7, Premium or Strong Bitter, is 4.8 and above.

Milds

Originally meant “young” beer with less of the hoppy tang of aged beer. They tend to be deep brown and have an ABV of 3 - 3.5%. However, just to be confusing, there are paler “light milds” and the occasional one as strong as 6% ABV. Sometimes you’ll see them called “dark milds” or “ruby milds”. This just refers to the colour of the liquor and has no other significance. The darker ones are sometimes called “Brown Ales” though this term is a bit old fashioned now.

Incidentally milds are where the Xs in beer names come from. Originally the number of Xs denoted strength so a name like “Castlemaine XXXX” (another dreadful gnats piss lager, but Aussie this time) would indicate the strongest brew.

Old Ale

A strong, dark, malty beer, over 5% ABV. Some are called “Winter Warmers”.

Barley Wine

Strong to insanely strong beer, between 6% and 16% ABV. There’s little meaningful difference betwen the Old Ales and Barley Wines, except you’re marginally more likely still to be able to walk after an Old Ale... Like the Old Ales, it is most often found in pubs around Christmas. If bottled they can be extensively aged. Expect it to be served in half pint glasses.