#they sure ain't human tho👀

[b--b-3]

Sooo I've decided to finally cross-post my Obey Me crack-fic from ao3, I hope you enjoy!✨️

°•°•°•°•°

Cheek Clappin' Behavior

Ch.1

summary: Mc gets bamboozled by the game we all know and love 😭. They also happen to get yeeted right into it at full throttle, oops. How, you ask?? Who knows-

warnings: swearin/strong language, a quick innuendo, Mc just bein straight up wild tbh

misc: this fic doesn't accurately follow the story, literally just random shits 'n giggles for now lmao [pls it's so unserious ajfjshsjs] + the memes you see edited were done by me in my absolute mess of a gallery 💀

word count: almost 1k

It was just an ordinary day for Mc… Well, that is if you could call simping for fictional characters from a story-based gacha game ordinary. Okay, maybe they're a liiiiiiittle bonkers in the head, but we still love 'em 😋.

[Mc's POV]

'You've gotta be clappin' my cheeks unequivocally rn.'

"How tf am I gonna pull up AND get bumblefucked by this yee yee ass game 🤨🤨🤨??" Okay, so maaaaybe I got raw-dogged by a fictional world, but I can fix this for sure‼️

.

.

.

Oh.

I didn't fix this. Far from it, in fact. Yet another 10 pull, wasted… 😟

Welp, whatever‼️‼️ Back to the story then hehEHEHEHE— HOLY FUCKIN' MOTHER OF GO— MAMMON YOU ABSOLUTE BABYGWORL TF YOU DOIN' LOOKIN' LIKE THAT?? 🤭🤭🤭

Even tho he plays hard to get, he ain't a match for MY sluttish behavior 🤪—

THIS? FUCKING?? $ Ł Ü ✝️? ? ? "The absolute fuckin' audacity I swear— AND this mf blushin' too? Consider tears runnin' down my leg fr fr for real fr‼️" YOU SEE THAT TUB OVER THERE MAMS?? YEAH HOP IN THAT BITCH CUZ I'M BOUTTA 😩😩—

Ahem.

Caught myself lackin' for a sec there sorry bout that y'all 💀—

I then end up playing this damn game for a psychologically questionable amount of time. Such a long time, in fact, my raggedy ass fell asleep with the game open. O p e n. I didn't even get to charge my shit— hot damn 😬.

.

.

.

Next thing I know, I'm exposing my eye sockets to a ridiculous amount of light.

✨️OWIE✨️—

Oh.

'Now why in the ass-eatin' fuck does this place look familiar?? This ain't my house OR my room🗿. Tf is goin' on in here on this ass-chappin' day 🤨🤨??'

Like, the more I look around, the more shit's appearance becomes clear to me [no d U h Mc?? C'mon get it together 😭].

'Tho it does look a bit [a fuck ton tf you mean?? 💀] like my room in Obey Me…🤔'

.

.

.

"Did my bitch-ass get isekai'd into the world of Big Boobie Bitches— I mean Obey Me??????⁉️🗣📢🔥"

.

.

.

' …You've gotta be tuggin' my schlong rn this shit is a different breed. No, literally. Does that mean I'm a whole ass sheep now⁉️ This ain't gonna work. I swear on my left kneeca—'

All of a sudden, someone's headass bursts into the room. I was about to chew them tf out like a baddie, but then I SEE 🕕🫦🕕—

'CERTIFIED BABYGWORL??? AJDJSJEEJ OMGOMGOMG IT'S HIIIIIIIM IT'S MAAAAAMMMMS OH MY—🥺🎊✨️🫧💖‼️🥰💛'

"Yo, human! Ya were s'pposed to hang out with me today! What's goin' on?"

I—

'Ugh. What a cutie 🥰. Look at him, lookin' at me like that 'n shit 😭💖.'

I stare right back at the white-haired babygworl— I mean demon, trying a lil TOO hard to fight the inner voices that are telling me to jump him unprovoked.

"Well, tbh tbh honestly tbh, I haven't the slightest fuckin' clue Monie.. Buuuuuuut you can still take me out if you want tho 👀." I give him a lil look. Yano, a look. A little lookie look. A look that looks like a lil look because it looks—

"Whatever, let's just go. You've been makin' The Great Mammon wait long enough." He then drags me outta the room as if I'm his bitch.

'OW MY PUSS- now hold on for just a diddly ding dang darn second ☝️🤓— here I thought it was supposed to be the other way around 🤨🤔❓️ ❓️ ❓️'

Welp I'll just have to worry about it another time ig 🤷.

Anyways, now we were makin' our way [downtown] through the Big Ass House of Lamentation, BAHoL for short, trying to get to wherever tf Mammon has plans for. Well, that is until we run into a certain someone.

.

.

.

'GAAASSSPP IT'S HIIIIIM‼️ LEVIATHAN THE SWEET BOOOOOOYYYYY OHFUCKOHFUUUCK 🥰💖🫧🧡✨️‼️'

"Yooo, Levi! Funny seein' ya outside ya room for once." Both Mammon and I then proceed to start gigglin' like two lil bitches lmao.

Until this mf turns around 🗿.

…My face just about shriveled up inside itself.

'DID BABYGWORL #3 GET EVEN QUIRKIER 😳😳😳⁉️'

"Levi.. you good?? You're looking a bit differently different there bud 😭😭."

'I swear to shit there are literal SPARKLES just shootin' me in the eyes rn.'

"Idk what you're talking abt lol." He blinks and just shrugs at me like absolutely NOTHING is wrong like wtf my g—

"Tbh tbh honestly tbh Levi you're looking MAD ✨️bbg✨️ rn and idk how to cope with that so I think it's best you induce an anime withdrawal for just a singular sliver of a second the sake of my sanity 🗣🗣."

It takes him a couple seconds for the matter inside his cranium to process whatever tf just came out my mouth.

"B-Bbg!? WOOOAAAHHHH❗️🗣🗣🗣📢💥.. I-I can't believe you're calling a no-good otaku shut-in like me that!" He takes a moment to cover his now blushing face sextillion times more than his hair already does with his hand.

'Omg what a lil cutie I swear— got me swooning 'n shit <3.'

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever! We've gotta get goin' now. See ya later, Levi!" Mammon cuts off the ENTIRE interaction quicker than it even started before dragging me away like a fucking rag doll.

'L?? M?? A?? O?? Tf is all this motion for 🫨🥴?'

What the plans are?? I still haven't the slightest of darn clues, buT I GUESS WE'LL FIND OUT 🗣.

.

.

.

I kid you tf not we literally only managed to reach the main entrance before getting jumpscared by none other than Lucifer himself—

'EYE- SWEET MOTHER OF DIAVOLO'S (. )( .)‼️—'

[✨️To Be Continued✨️]

[blackberry-gingham]

👋 hello love your blog and toad content feel free to ignore this. Maybe it will give you some ideas idk

I just was on clock app and watched Esmeralda edits AND IT FITS SO WELL with Mortimer and reader concept like that scene where Esmeralda dancing on festival (?) (I don't remember how it's called) . Unfortunately I can't send an edit but THIS THIS SCENE I'M TALKING ABOUT p. s. I'm really sorry if there any mistakes english not my native language

First of all, sorry this took so long to get to 😭

Second of all, may I just say, your username is ELITE lmao 😂 easily in my top three favorite usernames I've ever seen, right along with dilf-hunter69, I believe it was

Y'all have easily twice the creativity I do lmao

Definitely a cool idea tho! There's lots of cross over for Quasimodo's story and Toad's, I honestly wouldn't be surprised if some of his character iterations were inspired by it all. I do love a good "sad, ugly mutant man gets picked by pretty reader character". Hm....

Ooooo you know what would be cool? Like a straight up au of sorts revolving around the hunchback of Notre Dame + X-Men 👀

This turned into a little blurb, so here you go :) reader is gender neutral btw!

Imagine being a mutant rights activist at like a rally or protest or something and of course the brotherhood are in the area, possibly fighting cops or whatever- something to get the X-Men's attention ig. To speed things up tho, Magneto has the team set sights on the bystanders, which includes you of course.

The rest of the brotherhood doesn't care so they do it, all humans are the enemy after all- even ones who claim otherwise. But... Toad's not so sure. He has reservations, but as usual it only takes a stern look from Magneto to put him in his place. He joins the fight and you and your fellow protestors scatter.

You run because you're getting chased- chased by Toad, it seems. In the rush and the panic, you fall, even getting trampled by the human stampede a little. Toad's on you in no time, and there you lay... Hurt and helpless. He could kill you right now and maybe earn some approval with his master.

Or...

He looks left. Then right. Then over his shoulder for good measure. No one is looking....

"Get up!", Like you weigh nothing at all, he flips you over and sets you on your feet to face him.

You look scared- but he's used to that. Besides, he's not sure he can even blame you. Fear is better than hatred at least. And anything's better than disgust.

In a moment of weakeness, a thought comes upon him; Is this really what he wants to be? Feared and distrusted, by actions of his own doing? As though his face isn't bad enough- isn't he just making things worse? You weren't here to fight or cause trouble after all. Quite the opposite, in fact.

Lost in his mind, he studies your face for a long time... Just about as much as you study his.

A minute well spent- he lets you go gently, sneering even as he does. Toad looks around one more time, backing away to save face until at last he turns to you, a growl of a whisper as his voice, "Go on- get lost, then!", he looks at the surprise in your eyes... Then looks away. He doesn't deserve even that.

"I ain't gonna hurt you... but thems all will if yo-"

Surprise is the least of all the feelings that wash over him when your arms interrupt his warning. Hung tight in an embrace across the back of his neck- Mort suddenly remembers... When was the last time he ever was hugged?

For a fleeting moment, he thinks to return the gesture. Somehow, this feels better then anything he's ever imagined. Better then he ever thought something was silly as a simple touch even could. Your waist is right there, too.

If he'd only move his useless limbs, then maybe he could just...

But the moment passes. And with a gentle, sincere smile- another in the line of first times for him today, you let him go with a hurried thanks before turning to run.

For a long while yet, just long enough to commit your wonderful face to memory... He watches you go. Something in his chest feels tight as he watches you run from him, all the way until you're out of sight.

"Toad! You fool... You let one get away!", from somewhere far away, Magneto growls and degrades- taking a break from the mayhem to round up his troops for the X-Men's approach.

No.... Not running from him, Toad thinks.

Running from-

Erik Lehnsherr mutters yet another insult under his breath, before issuing a new command, "Don't just stand there, go with the others! Charles' men will be here any minute!"

Even as the master of magnetism threatens and barks his orders- His pathetic pawn, this shell of a man, finds he can't help but look after the corner he saw you turn just a little longer... Toad watches. And he thinks. And at last, he turns, face pinched in bitter contempt.

Maybe... Even a Toad could aspire to something better, he wonders. Better then... This. Anything, would be better than this.

But for now-

"Yes... Master..."

[paranormaljones]

oooooh tell us more about dark eyes brown hair boy? 👀 (only if you want to tho lol) also the other mixed signals boy sounds like he SUCKS if he ain't sure and decisive with his actions he's lame as heck and doesn't deserve your time and energy <3 <3

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA YES

i seriously considered trying to draw a rough approximation of dark eyes brown hair boy to answer this ask because obviously i won't show a picture of him but i just want to convey how much of a sweet, warm person he is. just like, imagine the human embodiment of the word "sweetheart" and that's what he looks like. he has the most adorable smile and his eyessssssssss 😭 from what i have been able to see, he's kind and funny and soft-spoken and genuine.

i know him from afar through the church we both go to and multiple people who know him much better than i do have genuinely described him as a total sweetheart unprompted. he's obviously very well-loved by everyone who knows him. i really, really hope to get to know him better soon as a friend. i gotta be careful to not let my mind run away with the idea of him before i actually know him 😂

as for blue-eyed blond . . . yeah. it's entirely my fault that i've been hung up on him for so long, but the mixed signals have not helped in getting over him in the slightest. but i'm super tired of that so i'm doing my best to get past it. and the emergence of dark eyes brown hair in my life is helping greatly. 😂

[jodjuya]

Achieved a whole bunch without blogging about any of it.

Finished the jetbike race, explored around and did all the Future stuff, reached The End Of Time, learnt magic, travelled back to 65mya for the heck of it and am exploring randomly to see what can be seen.

Climbed up to the top of the pterodactyl mountain & espied a twinkling red star. I wonder if that's the volcano monster en-route to earth...? 🤔

Nothing else here so imma have to climb all the way back down and see what I can trade for all these feathers, fangs, et cetera I've been collecting...

Oh, and I got a yellow Pokémon at the Arena Beyond Time, or whatever that place is, and have been sending the little guy out for training.

Back to our own time, arriving in the wardrobe of some poor random guy on Monster Island. Sorry bro!

Geez, everyone here is super racist against humans.

Oh dear, they're trying to resurrect the Fiendlord and awaken Lavos? That seems bad. Y'all know that y'all live on the same planet as us, right? You still wanna destroy it to get us??

"no humans can defeat the mountain monsters because they don't know magic" 😏

More and more I find myself annoyed at this not-quite-turn-based combat system.

Welp, another boss monster defeated without bothering to find out why. Simply fighting back against being jumped while innocently exploring for the sake of exploration.

Backtrack to the one human on this island, and all he does is sell weapons I already have...

Sure is convenient that the underground waterfall flushed us back to our home continent instead of to our certain doom by drowning...

Oh, whoops, I guess nobody told my mum that I escaped my death sentence...

Probably shouldn't show my face around the castle again then too 👀

That kid I rescued gave me a bunch of free mid-ethers tho, so that's nice.

"zero grains of cat food" whoops, how do I feed my cat... 😬

Or have I arrived back in time before my own trial? That old man and his unguarded lunch are still here. Imma steal it again to teach him a lesson for testifying against me. 😡

Huh, why did the time portal send me forward to The End Of Time instead of back to 600AD? 🤔

The King has been wounded, but everything's okay because The Hero has arrived?

Also, the Fiendlord army has arrived at the bridge, but the soldiers there don't have enough food to be able to fight? (...I thought that the bridge was smashed to bits???)

Well, guess we'd better head to the castle and find out what's what... 🤔

King not here, somewhere else alone with The Hero. Gotta say, this ain't passing the vibe check... :/

Oh, the king is wounded in bed and The Hero has gone off to find some legendary sword. Okay, the bad vibes are lessening...

I should pop my head into the kitchen to find out what's happening with the food situation... K, nothing I can help with there, it seems...

Oh! Nevermind! I have a delivery to make! \o/

Fucking necromancy?! Unacceptable! Time for Ozzie to die!

Magical attacks heal the skeletons?!?! That's SO unacceptable!

The bestiary (which is fucking terrible from a usability standpoint) says they absorb Shadow magic. Woe unto me for not intuiting that a fire-and-ice combination attack produces Shadow damage. 🙄

Man, Zombor was an obnoxious fight.

These customers at the inn have good tips! Dissipate whirlwind with a wind slash, and disarm Ogans by burning their hammers.

All this talk of The Hero and I'm more and more strongly suspecting that it's just me from a different timeline or something...

Find rainbow shell for anti-magic armour. Gotcha, will do...

Monstrous frog beast in the woods? I wonder if that's my homie, Frog? 🤔

It is my homie, Frog! 🥳

Join the party, you sad sack! You're enough of a hero to kick around with me!

Fine, stay in the woods by yourself, loser. 😡

Toma says the rainbow shell is on an island but he doesn't know which one.

Everyone in this tavern is saying The Hero is some annoying little brat. Guessing I'm gunna have to go rescue the tyke at some point soonish...

Tata is apparently climbing the Denadoro Mountains (where the monsters are at) to find The Sword... I'll head there I guess

Frog is still being a little bitch. Guess he'll just have to snap out of it in his own time. 😒

I guess that little boy who just ran past was the brat hero??

Huh, I was not expecting to fall down that waterfall. How do I get back up again? 🤔

At least I got a silver earring out of that fall...

Oh, getting back up very easy. Now I just fall down the other side and get ...a different silver earring. Pretty good one though!

Good, finally tracked down and killed that cunt who was throwing rocks at us. Fuck that guy!

Why... Why is there a random small child in this cave on Monster Mountain pretending to be the wind???

Shit! This kid can jump like Yoda!

Hey wind kid, can I have your magic sword plz??

Oh, I have to fight the literal personification of this sword before I can claim it?

Oh god that wasn't even their final form

What do you mean "fix us"??? Did I come all this way for a broken sword??? 😡

Wasn't there a sword guy at the Millennium Fair, who said he lived in the East somewhere? Maybe he can fix it...? 🤔🤔

Let's go see if that brat Tata made it home...

Wait, he nicked the Hero Badge off Frog when he was drunk?? Useless fucking Frog... 😒

Maybe NOW Frog will finally join us?!

Frog, you stupid slut here's your stupid badge back AND I even fetched the legendary sword Masamune for you! If you don't get your ass into gear the next thing imma gunna fetch is a salt shaker! 😡

Who the fuck is Melchior?? Did I meet him already? Was he that guy I recently backtracked to only to find that he only sold weapons that I already had??

"there are none alive who can mend Masamune 😭" FROG YOU STUPID LITTLE PIECE OF FUCK WE ARE LITERALLY TIME-TRAVELLERS!!!!

I AM GOING TO GO GET THIS SWORD FIXED JUST SO THAT I CAN COME BACK HERE TO STAB YOU WITH IT!

I'll go let the king know what's up then I'll start time travelling around to look for a swordsmith...

...he doesn't give a shit. Oh well.

Melchior needs a glittering red stone to reforge Masamune? Didn't the cave man chief have such a thing...? 🤔

Ayla the unstoppable force of bisexual cave-woman energy! Poor flustered Lucca lmao! 🤣

Wish I didn't have Robo with me so I could have seen Ayla's reaction to Marle...

Robo is unfun but at least Lucca knows how to party.

Drinking contest go!

Urgh, my last save was an hour ago. Cbf replaying every single thing since finding the silver earrings just to see Marle partying with cave people. 😒

Kino missing, reptites went to forest maze. Yeah, I can put two and two together...

StrategyWiki says I missed a speed tab right before I fought Masamune. Maybe I will go back and replay the past hour after all to get that and to see Marle partying...

(I went to the wiki to see how to trade with the old man to save myself the trial-and-error)

At least I can follow in the footsteps of my own liveblogging to retrace them faster.

I wonder how the party is going to decode Melchior's maker's mark on the sword hilt without R-66Y's ability to read the ancient script... Might have to metagame this one, boys...

Oh, Lucca just knows how to read it. And Marle knows who Melchior is. Handy!

Marle is into Ayla's flirting lol

I am SO GLAD I reloaded that old save to replay this section with Marle in the party instead of Robo! I love getting to see Marle dancing. Wish I could make Crono dance too.

Oh, derp, I didn't need the wiki for the trade costs after all. There's a guy standing right there who explains it all to you! 🤦🏻‍♂️

Grinding away in the hunting grounds...

This post is long enough, time for a new one.

[rurifangirl]

ayy i finally woke up, so have oc asks💃

Kayn's opinion of higheals? would he ever wear them? if so, what kind of heals would he wear?

if Syndra could dropkick onw person, who would it be👀

would Rui or would they not try to choke me to death for eatin their gems askin for no reason👁

why did ya give Lyva such pink vibe👁👁 i luv her she's a fave

Shou's opinion on this lil shit

does Qiran hate anyone? like trully hate? is it justified from Qiran's pov?

Naexi's opinion on this fuck. specifically.

Evelyn's opinion on gore👀

Hakdkskk bestie now I understood shit so Imma reply Ig🙄/j

Kayn

Ahkeosk If anything he kinda likes them. Like probably wouldn't wear those but that's more because of uh, bitch Is a tree n if he ain't gettin help he's gonna trip with them 😭😭 And I'm sure that since some members of the gang still wear em he'd still find them aesthetically pleasin. I feel like rather than buyin em for himself he'd probably give his opinion on which are the cutest onto others tbh. All I'm seeing Is him helpinh out 7/Ruri w choosing them and being the himbo he is

Syndra

Ywjekdk surprisingly so not really anyone that Is currently alive I mean other than ti annoy someone she doesn't really have anyone in particular. For It so much time passed that even if she still holds grudges it's usless for it to get mad at them, since she was the one to do many, shitty and questionable things during its life.

If she could get back it would absolutely kick the shit outta of someone, but they're still not introduced so imma leave this ask with some sort of interpretation.

👁️👁️

Rui-

Yes. 100%. No question asked 😭😭 Why would ya even steal em from them, ya wanna get killed or somethin? Know your place you swine 🙄/j

Agdjkskw on a serious note they're extremely attached to their gems and would do anything to prevent them getting touched/stolen/broken, even going after you till the day you die (/hj)

They'd even change paths if that meant the safety of their gems tbh

Lyva-

Bestie i have no idea but sameee 😭😭 Even tho she ain't my fav she's one of em, but good news Is that Myst (my upcoming oc that idk when to upload honestly) Is gonna be kinda important for everyone and specifically Lyva, so you'll prolly get more content of them 😍

and also because i want to make more content id die for them too

Shou-

"What in the lord- Qiran, are you even sure it's my ask? ...You didn't get mixed up? Very well then. I have no knowledge nor want to know what that thing Is, rather than you shall keep It the more distant from me, if that is not a difficult task. Thank you in advance. :)"

Qiran-

HOHOHOHOHOIHOO YES THEY DO.

Remember when I said that they lost their friends because of something? Well let's just say that they didn't lose em because of natural causes, rather than something had brutally killed them.

Now I initially intended to make this one of the main members of the Cult, as they do have their reasons to take them down (Alias some of Qiran's friends knew too much), but now I'm kinda torn whether to make that another own character or not.

Or even giving the fault to some character I've already mentioned that Is kinda tied to Qiran too👁️👁️ (yes im now having doubts whether to make that a group of people or shous dad yes im serious).

But either way, they not only resent them BUT THEY ALSO resent their older brother, which again Is the other oc I gotta introduce, but everything Is gonna be explained better in his own post👀.

Naexi-

"what a... wonderful creature! is it tied to any human practice or tradition? it seems like a fun way to seek for comfort too, I suppose? thank you for showing me this :>."

Evelyn-

"Man that shit's nasty, I 'on like it and thinkin bout that makes me wanna curl up onto Naexis carpet or somethin n 'ucking vomit, and Shoe bein fuckin disgustin in their other shitty form ain't helpin 🙄 Damnin Weirdos" ( They actually care but are too much of a prideful bitch to admit It)

Tags undercut:

@a-chaotic-dumbass @spoopy-fish-writes @damnfoxx @dopesaladlady @audre-falrose @nadi-117