#they still fucking tap the screen and get pissed when it doesnt work

[clearlyaginger]

There is no species dumber than the retail customer.

[katsukis-sad-angel]

Based on a True Story

Summary: there's this boy who makes you super uncomfy and doesnt take a hit, but you're to sweet to tell him to back off. Katsuki Bakugou, the more blunt end of the friendship, is happy to tell him off and free you from that sorry bastard.

Pairing: Katsuki Bakugou x Fem!Reader

Warnings: possible tw, a lot of swearing and some pretty colorful insults, there are guys that are really fucking creepy, based on the actual events of February 7th, 2021 at around 10:30 pm

A/N: this was very very rushed, I just wanted to write myself some comfort real quick and go to bed last night and I didn't have time to properly edit! I'm really proud of some of the banter lmao, please enjoy and never be afraid to punt a ballsack! I'll add tags later🙄🙄🙄

A message popped up on your screen and your once neutral expression went sour. Slamming the face of your phone onto your pillow, you groaned angrily into your bedspread, catching the attention of a certain ash blonde sitting in your comfy desk chair a few feet away. Katsuki Bakugou, one of your best friends, gave a questioning glance but refused to meet his ember gaze

“What’s your deal?” He asked, not letting his genuine curiosity as to why there was such a pained look on your face, show.

You opened your mouth but paused.

Katsuki already knew about this boy and scolded you every time he saw his name pop up in your notifications, telling you to ‘fucking block him already’ for the umpteenth time. It wasn’t like you had feelings for the guy anymore, you were just too nice and polite to cut him off completely and tell him to go fuck himself.

The ash-blonde had already volunteered to do it for you, but you always said no because you knew he’d just find another way to contact you.

“It’s that piss baby again isn’t it?” 

“Yeah…”

“Wow, did you just agree with one of my insults?”

“Suki, I’m about to take you up on your offer to tell him to go fuck himself.”

He snickered, “Now you’re talking sense. What the hell is that pansy bitching about now?”

You sigh and roll over on your back and Katsuki moves to sit on the edge of your bed.

“I cut him off for a while, I really did! It felt so good to be free of him, but then he got my number again and started bothering me a few days ago. I saw him at school yesterday and told him I wasn’t interested in dating at all and he was like whatever so I honestly thought he could keep it in his pants and we could just be friends but nooo! He calls me a simp for anime guys, I tell him to stop being a hypocrite because he used to simp for me and he was like “I still do. You’re the only one” yeah like I’m stupid enough to actually believe that!”

You paused to catch your breath, but before you could start speaking again Katsuki interjected, “Well, you are stupid…”

You socked him in the bicep and he hunched over laughing. You looked so fucking adorable when you got royally pissed at him.

“Oh go to hell.” You snapped, crossing your arms and continuing, “Anyway, this guy used to simp for my goddamn sister! Not only do I reject being a replacement for her, but if she rejected his sorry ass, that means he’s a huge piece of shit because she’s super picky.”

“I might’ve mentioned that once or twice-”

You punched him again to shut him up. “Plus he’s super creepy and gross and it always feels like he’s undressing me with his eyes and whenever he’s around I want to dive into a pool full of only chlorine and drink it. I’m just trying to coexist and just be nice to him but apparently, a female looking in his general direction means that they want dicked down by his micropenis. He’s so fucking dense too. Why can’t he see that I’m not interested, especially after I EXPLICITLY told him that?!”

By that point, you were on the verge of frustrated tears, bottom lip trembling just slightly with bottled up emotion.

Katsuki could see it.

You felt trapped in something you never signed up for and you’d do anything to get out. All of this frustration had been stored inside of you for so long and it just kept mounting and multiplying until you burst into tears.

“Goddammit, come here dumbass,” He growled, gathering you into a warm embrace, “You can’t keep all this bs inside okay?”

He let you sob into his shoulder, one calloused hand supporting the base of your neck and the other crossed firmly over your back so you’d feel safe and secure; away from the world full of horrible people and into a small one of just your best friend’s warmth and the sweet sweet scent of caramel.

“Why don’t you listen to me? You’re just too fucking nice to every shitty dickhead that sees you as an easy, fuckable target. Something really fucking bad is gonna happen to you if you don’t shape up and learn how to punt a dude’s excuse for a ballsack and tell him what you really think.”

You raised your head from the solace of his shoulder to look at him with big, reproachful doe eyes and whimpered, “I tried that!”

“Have you tried punting their fucking balls first?”

“No… that would hurt.”

“That’s the point.”

“But if I did it without reason I could get suspended or charged with aggravated assault!”

It was Katsuki’s turn to sigh.

“That’s not the point dumbass, the point is that you need to tell these bastards off when they start getting creepy. You know what? Why don’t you just fucking ignore their sorry asses in the first place!”

You sniffle and drag a hand over your cheek to dry your tears, then resume your position with your face in the crook of your best friend’s neck.

“I feel bad for them.”

“Well stop. I’m gonna call him now alright? After that, we’ll block his stupid ass on every fucking app, you hear me?”

You nod and hug him tighter as he leans forward to grab your phone and opens it with your passcode, swiftly finding his name in your contact list and pressing the call icon, then he tapped the speaker button and waited.

The call was picked up almost immediately and a voice on the other line said, “Hey cutie! I was just about to call and ask to see if you wanted to come over on-”

“She’s not here.” Katsuki cut him off with a dry snarl, “And last time I checked she wasn’t interested enough in your sorry ass for you to be calling her ‘cutie.’” 

You could almost hear his lip curl in utter disgust.

“Who the fuck are you?” The voice asked, dropping its sickeningly sweet tone to something more appropriate in light of the previous insult.

“I’m her fucking boyfriend you dickwad-” You popped up from your haven in surprise, mouth open to sputter in protest but he put a finger to your lips and smirked, “who the fuck are you?”

“No fucking way that whore has a boyfriend-”

“Ex-fucking-scuse me? Shut your mouth, you mother fucking pussy, insult her one more time and I’ll fuck you up so bad you won’t be recognizable by the time you get to the hospital.” He snapped back, “She’s crying right now because you’re too dense to realize she doesn’t want any business with some horse-faced piss baby like you. Take the hint right fucking now you useless bastard so you don’t make the mistake of coming near her again because I. Will. Kill. You. Delete this number because she’s too sweet to block you herself, but I will.”

“Fuck man, I was just tryna get laid. She’s the one who started rubbing herself all over me-”

“I said delete this number. Damn, you are a dense piece of shit aren’t you?”

“Hey, I-”

Katsuki pressed ‘end call’ and blocked his contact, moving from Instagram to Snapchat, to any social app you had, and blocked him left and right until he was satisfied.

“Feel better?” He asked softly, tossing your phone aside and peeling you off.

You carded a shaky hand through your hair and wiped your eyes, giving him a watery smile and a nod.

“Why did you tell him that we were in a relationship?” You asked, voice on the edge of a taunt.

“To make him mad.”

“I mean, it worked, but is that the only reason?” You giggled.

“The hell are you insinuating?”

“Do you… possibly by chance… have feelings for me?”

You batted your eyes at him and he retched, but the smirk was still present on his handsome features.

“What’s it to you?”

You squirm a bit, but something pops into your head so you can stall a bit longer.

“I mean, you’re not THAT ugly-”

He responded with a simple, harsh flick to the forehead to make you whine and try to whack him, but he easily intercepted your fist and pushed you on your back, caging you in nothing short of a horizontal kabedon.

It was your turn to smirk, “Yenno ‘Suki, I could very easily… oh what was your phrasing? ‘Punt your fucking balls’ in this position…”

“Just shut up and tell me what the hell you want.” Katsuki snapped.

“You’re cute when you’re flustered.” You prod.

“You look like a pissed hamster when you’re mad.” He shot back.

“You smell like a fucking candy store after training.”

“You’re the dictionary definition of a dumbass.”

“You have a better hourglass figure than Yaomomo.”

“You're quickly becoming an extra.”

“Date me.”

“Fine.”

“Wait really?”

“It’s the only way I can kiss you, protect you, and keep you all to myself.” He shrugged, leaning in dangerously close, “You don’t fucking understand how hard it is to watch you prancing around with one failed abortion after another and watching you cry because they leave since you don’t want the one thing they’re after.”

“You’ve always been there for me ‘Suki… I guess I just took you for granted, and I’m really sorry.” You met his soft vermillion gaze with a meaningful and apologetic one and reached out to squeeze his hand.

“‘S okay. You’re mine now, right?”

You nod, smiling. 

“So it doesn’t matter how dense you are anymore.” He smirked, laying down on your bed and dragging you down with him so you were tucked comfortably under his chin.

You grabbed the remote and flicked on the tv, preparing to turn on an anime you had in mind.

“What romance garbage are you inflicting on me this time?” Your new boyfriend groaned, burying his face in your hair.

“One that’s super sappy and romantic and sad just to piss you off.” You pouted, clicking on each letter to form the desired word in the search bar.

“Have fun with that.” Katsuki snarked, beginning to move away, but you stopped him by deftly pressing your lips to his.

You slowly pulled away, blushing furiously, but happy to feel strong forearms snaking around your front and crossing over your stomach.

“I certainly will.” You respond.

[ilynong]

misunderstanding | han mubo

Han Mubo doesn’t like you, but you’ve literally never spoken to him before.

for anon:  I would like to request a "Hate to lovers" with him. Like y/n was a new staff member but she was always fooling around, joking and being loud with the baby line... Which according to Mubo only made them more difficult to handle and that's why he doesnt like her, because she was "unprofessional".

yall im really sorry i didn’t like how this turned out but im so exhausted maybe i’ll come back and rewrite yikes

under the read more bc this is hella long

so you were a new staff member on the idol producer set

you were hired as an intern, since you were still in college and majoring in film production

it was you and two other people from your university who were hired, so the three of you mostly did things together

and since the three of you were younger, you quickly became friends with the younger trainees on the show

they were under a lot of pressure, so it wasn’t uncommon to see the three of you with the usual suspects-- zuo ye, li quanzhe, justin, qian zhenghao and the other munchkins

you’d joke around and tease them, and it really seemed to help them take their mind off of how stressful everything was

and you formed a particularly close friendship w zuo ye!!

he was just so sweet and kind and you felt super protective of him

but one night, you were cleaning out the practice rooms when you found him crying by himself????

and so the two of you talked and he explained that he felt like he would never be as good as his ges

and ofc after that he came to you for a lot of advice

one afternoon, you and zuo ye were chatting about the upcoming position evaluations

zuo ye was laughing at a joke you’d made when han mubo came down the hall, both of you quieting at the sight of him

you hadn’t ever really talked to mubo, so you were confused as to why he was glaring at you like that???

you’d literally never spoken to him, but it really seemed like he didn’t like you

“zuo ye, shouldn’t you be practicing?” mubo asked casually, still glaring over at you

you raised an eyebrow at that, patting zuo ye’s shoulder, who nodded and trotted off quickly, obviously intimidated by the dark atmosphere

there were a few beats of silence, and then mubo spoke

“can you maybe not distract my trainees? i know that it isn’t the same for the staff, but these are our dreams, and zuo ye really doesn’t need anything distracting him.”

you scoffed at that, glaring back at han mubo

“if you think what i’m doing is distracting, maybe you should check yourself and your ability to lead,” you shot back before stalking off, fuming at the encounter

as filming continued, you kept noticing instances where you’d be joking with a trainee or something and mubo would roll his eyes or cross his arms

you’d even spoken with qin fen about it, who was pretty chill, and he just shrugged

“this means a lot to mubo, i know it’s hard to understand but he really cares deeply about this project.”

grudgingly, you did admit to yourself that you understood his perspective, but you were still pissed about how he’d approached the situation

when zuo ye and the others were eliminated off the show, of course, you were heartbroken

but you and zuo ye stayed in touch (ofc !! he’s ur son???) while you continued with filming

and you could just sense mubo being salty about it

anyways so eventually, the final episode rolls around

all the staff are super stressed and pressured bc it’s a live show

so literally everything has to be perfect

mannn they got you running around the place, buying gallons of coffee as the writers and producers pull multiple all-nighters

you chat with qin fen a few times, asking how zuo ye’s doing and such

a few nights before the livestream of the final episode, you’re in a training room helping a few members of the ‘mack daddy’ team get their timing down, since the dance instructors were all busy

qin fen is sitting next to you, citing his old bones as the reason why he wasn’t practicing

as ziyi shows chen linong a move again, qin fen turns to you casusally

“you know, mubo feels bad for yelling at you,” he said offhandedly, making you roll your eyes

“han mubo can tell me this himself,” you retorted, leaning back against the mirror as linong copied the move. “linong, you were a beat off.”

linong shoots you a thumbs-up as qin fen groans, running a hand through his hair

“mubo...” qin fen’s voice trailed off, “he’s bad at expressing his emotions. trust me, i’m the one who he vents to.”

you glanced down at the clipboard in your hand, “that’s nice.”

with a sigh, qin fen got to his feet, rejoining the formation of sweaty boys

your conversation with qin fen is forgotten until the day of the final filming, when zuo ye tackles you with a huge hug, clad in his grey idol producer suit

he’s immediately chattering away as you guide him to where the boys are supposed to sit, peiyao, zimo and mubo a few steps behind the two of you

as the two of you talk, you can feel mubo’s stare trained on you, and as you turn and make eye contact with the older, you feel your heart speed up for a quick min??

but you shrug it off, running to join the film crew that you were assigned to

about an hour before the show goes live, one of the cameramen asks you to grab his clipboard

“it’s in the office on the floor of the dorms,” he says, shooing you off, “hurry, hurry!”

you nod, trottiing off towards the main building obediently, feeling your lungs burn with the simple exercise

rip

anyways you grab the clipboard and hurry back to the elevator, punching the button as many times as possible

“wait, hold the elevator!”

you watch with wide eyes as mubo barrels into the elevator, clutching an inhaler in one hand, obviously out of breath

“um,” you say intelligently, refusing to acknowledge how good mubo looked with his hair and makeup done

mubo looks down at you awkwardly as the doors of the elevator close, hand going up to ruffle his hair

instinctively your hand shoots out to stop him, grasping his wrist

mubo’s eyes widen at the contact, hand going back to his side

“sorry,” you say softly, blinking quickly, “instinct. the stylists are always scolding us for not monitoring you.”

mubo chuckled at that, shifting his weight slightly

“no worries,” he replied, a little less awkward now, “i just had to grab qin fen’s inhaler, don’t want anything to happen.”

you glance over at the inhaler in his hand, nodding in understanding

there’s a few moments of silence, and you’re actually about to die from how awkward it was

“hey, um,” mubo coughed, “listen, i’m sorry for what i had said before. it was out of line.”

you peer up at the taller, raising an eyebrow

“did qin fen put you up to this?”

“peiyao, actually,” mubo grinned, and you chuckled at his joke

“it’s fine,” you replied as the elevator doors open, the two of you walking back to the big filming studio, “i mean, it wasn’t fine, but i understand why you said what you did.”

“i’m really sorry, though,” mubo reiterated, “i tend to get really tense and weird around people i--” mubo’s voice cut off, and he coughed awkwardly again, “um, around people. i’m weird around people.”

you raised an eyebrow as mubo metaphorically crashed his car of a sentence and watched it burn

“fuck, sorry,” mubo groaned, almost dragging a hand through his hair before you sent him a withering glare, “ugh, fuck, i’ll just stop talking.”

you giggled at that, the two of you entering the big studio

immediately, the sound of staff and trainees alike yelling, chattering and practicing their various songs washed over you, making you wince at how loud it was

mubo had a similar reaction, visibly flinching before starting to head over to where the oaca trainees were seated

“hey, mubo,” you called out suddenly, surprising yourself as well as the other, “good luck today.”

mubo paused in his steps before sending you a smile

“thanks.”

the final filming went past in a blur, and soon you were congratulating the trainees who made it and comforting those who didn’t

and before you knew it, you and your classmates were packing your things and on the long bus ride back to beijing

(rip)

on the bus ride back, you had a lot of time to yourself to reflect on the events

and your thoughts kept coming back to that moment in the elevator with mubo

like bruh that’s some shit from a fucking drama or something

you’ve finally figured out that you have a crush on mubo, and you’re traveling miles away from your one chance

your friends from uni pick up on the fact that your mind is clearly somewhere else, but at this point, you know that there isn’t anything that you can do

your only connection to mubo is through the other oaca boys, but you knew it would be awkward to reach out to him in this way after the odd way you’d parted

about a month after the end of idol producer, you’re sitting in a cafe near your university, working on a paper that was due in a few days

as you sigh, rubbing your eyes, you hear someone cough

“(y/n)?”

you look up from your computer screen, and your eyes widen in surprise as you see han mubo standing there, also looking a little startled

“oh, mubo?” you raise an eyebrow

“do you mind if i sit with you?” mubo asked tentatively, taking the seat after you nod quickly, moving your notebooks off the table quickly

“what are you doing here?” you ask in confusion, tapping your fingernails against the keyboard on your laptop

“oh, we’ve been coming to this cafe for a while,” mubo explained

the two of you struck up a conversation after that, catching up on everything that had happened after filming ended

you felt bad for zimo and zuo ye, with the amount of homework they were still catching up on

and to your surprise, the conversation with mubo wasn’t stilted or awkward at all

in fact, you found yourself giggling as he made a few jokes in between sips of his coffee

mubo glanced down at his phone offhandedly as you laughed at his latest joke, swearing under his breath

“shoot, i’m late for practice,” he said, quickly tugging his sweatshirt on over his head

“oh, i’m sorry to keep you,” you apologized quickly, instantly feeling bad

“no, no,” mubo shook his head as it poked through the neck of his hoodie, “this was really nice! i just lost track of time.”

you nodded a bit awkwardly, unsure if you should ask mubo for his number or social media or something

“hey, we should do this again,” mubo said suddenly, hovering over you with his fingers running through his hair, “chill at a cafe or something, i mean. you’re really chill to talk to, and qin fen has been on my ass about asking you on a date.”

you laughed at that, shaking your head as you imagined qin fen scolding mubo

“get my number from zuo ye,” you said playfully, smiling up at the trainee, “you’re already late enough for practice.”

mubo’s eyes got wide as he fully realized just how late he was, hurrying out of the cafe in a dash

“i’ll see you later!”

was the final episode of ip filmed in a different city from the training site? yes. does this make this scenario factually inaccurate? yes. do i care? yes. am i tiredt and not willing to figure out a better plot device? yes.