#they sometimes in fact like to shapeshift into a pigeon to annoy others

[seven-thewanderer]

due to certain events, I am adding a lil thing about Strayed! Bloodmoon

they both really love pigeons.

[shuttershocky]

@friendliest-human Oh boy get ready

Apologies in advance for the long post there's no Read More on mobile. I'll edit it later i promise.

So like, Team Fortress 2 is a Spy-Fi set in the 60's, where two businessmen, brothers Redmond and Blutarch Mann, wage war over the right to be the sole owners of their inheritance, which their father explicitly left for them to share.

Thing is, this war had been going on since the 1800's. The Brothers Mann had invested in both the cutting edge of technology and the greatest mercenaries on Earth in order to both extend their lifespans and kill the other.

While doing so, both men hired a woman, The Administrator, to direct their forces. Playing both sides, The Administrator locked them into a stalemate to last several generations of assassins, manipulating the brother's fortunes and amusing herself with the unending bloodsport.

Now the thing is, the world of Team Fortress isn't quite the same as ours. Australia is the single most technologically advanced country, due to it being the only source of Australium in the world. A mineral that looks exactly like a bar of gold with a man punching a kangaroo on it, exposure to Australium turned even the biggest moron into an engineering genius with massive muscles, a big mustache, and bushy chest hair in the shape of Australia. It turned, in The Administrator's words, "a nation of idiots" into the most powerful force on the planet, and she used the Mann's fortunes in order to study it and used it to create their life-extending technology.

Speaking of idiots, the current crop of mercenaries are the most unstable and ridiculous batch yet. Nine of the dumbest, deadliest men in their history, all gathered to fight over what is by the 1960's a completely worthless plot of land.

Scout is a young American (specifically Boston) guy who can barely read, loves baseball enough to go to war with a bat, and was created by God to have sex with every woman on Earth. He's not very succesful in that regard. He has a crush on the Administrator's assistant, Miss Pauling. The middle child in a large family, he learned that the only way for him to ever get attention was to arrive first and be as loud and annoying as possible. He also has the amazing ability to defy physics and double jump.

Soldier is a rocket launcher using American soldier, who is heavily brain damaged due to drinking water filled with lead. He's paranoid, violent, and very stupid, but an incredible combatant and a master of rocket jumping, or the act of shooting your feet with a rocket and riding the blast upward. His roommate was the dark wizard Merasmus, who his team must battle every Halloween. He once fought a bear naked and covered in honey, and won. He also once put the whole team in mortal danger by creating a massive bread monster.

Pyro is a mask wearing pyromaniac who terrifies everyone else. Nobody knows who they are, what they're saying, or knows what they look like under the mask. Their teammates believe they are a monster and the most cruel being on Earth. Secretly, Pyro is literally unable to comprehend violence and sees the world through rainbow lens. Their axe is a big lollipop and their enemies are baby angels, and their flamethrower is a bubble blower, and they're playing around and making friends with everyone.

Heavy is a big Russian man with a bigger minigun. He's the most normal and well-adjusted of the mercs, being a fan of Russian literature, teddy bears, and good food. He is however, prone to temper tantrums and he enjoys danger a little too much. His best friend and constant partner is the Medic. His English is slightly broken, but nobody dares make fun of it in fear of their bones getting very broken. Later on the comics introduce his little sister, who's also a gigantic woman with an even greater dangerlust than he does. She gets engaged to the Soldier after they kill a few dozen men together with their bare hands. Heavy is not pleased.

Demoman is a black, Scottish explosives expert with only one eye. Despite being a raging alcoholic, he is shown to be the most succesful of the mercs, being extremely rich and housing his mother in a giant castle. He is however, a great shame to his family, who pride themselves on losing both their eyes in battle. Despite Demoman trying his best, he's simply too good a fighter to lose his other eye in combat, and his mother berates him for this daily. He's also very skilled with a sword and shield, and can build to be a melee fighter. He lost his missing eye after discovering the Bombnomicon, Merasmus' cursed spellbook, and enchanting his eye into a bomb spewing monster. His team does battle with his haunted eye every Halloween. He and Soldier used to be best friends, but suffered a bad breakup through The Administrator's manipulation.

Engineer is the grandson of the first man the Administrator dosed with Australium. A mechanical genius from Texas, his sentry guns, teleporters, dispensers, and occasional cyborg arm are often the biggest nuisances in the game. Like the Heavy, he's quite normal and well-adjusted, although maybe TOO well-adjusted to all the bullshit.

Medic is a quack doctor from Germany whose lack of morales is only matched by the sheer insanity of whatever the fuck he's up to. Having lost his medical license ages ago, he implanted his teammates with megababoon hearts in order for them to survive the steroids his medigun hits them with (which he calls ubercharge). He once sold his soul to the devil for a pen, and then scammed him in order to revive from death. He has a pet pigeon called Archimedes that he sometimes leaves inside his teammates' bodies. He keeps the severed heads of his enemies alive and inside his fridge, where they can talk to him and beg for death. He's very close with the Heavy.

Sniper is the one Australian who doesn't sport a giant mustache and a giant chest. An extremely professional assassin, he seems alright at first... Until you realize he makes bombs out of his pee. He's very focused on his job and may be a little paranoid; one of his personal rules is to have a plan to kill absolutely every single person he ever meets. He's also skilled with a bow, and likes to fight with kukri knives.

Spy is a Frenchman with the amazing ability to shapeshift and perfectly imitate anyone's appearance, voice and mannerisms. Able to kill with a single backstab, his disguises and invisibility cloak allow him to infiltrate the enemy base and take them out from the inside. He likes to think of himself as above his teammates's bullshit, but really he's one of them in every single way. He once taught Scout how to romance a woman, after Scout begged him for help since his only pickup line was "Hey we both got buckets of chicken, wanna do it?" but it went disastrously. His relationship with Scout in general is weird since he once fucked Scout's mother. He later realizes that he may in fact be Scout's father. Knowing that Scout would both never accept him and that he had no right to call himself that, he also disguised himself as Scout's idol Tom Jones in order to comfort Scout as the younger man lay dying, while telling Scout about how he had dropped a Sex Bomb on his mother. When Scout went to heaven, the angels helped preserve the lie by snapping the real Tom Jones' neck just as Scout was about to meet him. In heaven. Since the real Tom Jones was dead. To Spy's chagrin, God raised Scout back from the dead.

There's a lot more - I haven't even touched on the third Mann Brother or Saxton Hale or Miss Pauling yet - but this should be the general gist of TF2.

[rollertoasteroflife]

These Things Are Fun Lets Give It a Go

Tagged by @katyaton heyyyyyyy!

RULES: answer all questions, add one question of your own and tag as many people as there are questions. (…yeah I don’t know that many people...)

tagging: @deaded123 @showmethestarlight and if anyone that follows me wants to please do but you two are the only ones that actually reply to these things and I can’t be arsed to go through all of my followers when no one does them anyway :D

1.      coke or pepsi: coke definitely

2.      disney or dreamworks:  oh god ummm i love disney cos that was my childhood but dreamworks have done some truly amazing films and they gave me how to train your dragon which i love far more than is probably normal...

3.      coffee or tea: *whispers* both definitely both...I drink so much coffee and tea and currently green tea I’m probably 70% hot beverage at this point

4.      books or movies: ah fuck. um I have to say finding a favourite book feels so much better than a favourite film but like I literally work in the film industry so I honestly love them too but yeah imma have to say books (that was really difficult D:)

5.      windows or mac: windows cos it’s what i know

6.      dc or marvel: um I’ve seen more marvel so I’ll say marvel but I’m not particular opinionated on the matter

7.      xbox or playstation: I am abysmal at playing games so again not really my question. however i have finally worked out how to use my housemates xbox as a dvd player so woo

8.      dragon age or mass effect: I don’t play them

9.      night owl or early riser: Permanently tired pigeon here but more of a night owl.

10.  cards or chess: Oh god um  actually can’t choose because i grew up playing card games and i really love them but i have a massive sentimental personal thing about chess so yeah i can’t choose here

11.  chocolate or vanilla: Chocolate what am I? dumb?!

12.  vans or converse: Converse 

13.  lavellan, trevelyan, cadash, or adaar: I do not understand

14.  fluff or angst: um in like fic reading or my life?? because my favourite fan fics are often angsty ones but I get wayyyyyyyyyy too emotional about them and yet still tend to read them over fluffy ones. Yet in actual life my life has enough problems please cover me fluffy things i’m tired

15.  beach or forest: beach because there’s sea but i fucking love forests so much!!

16.  dogs or cats: Cats!! but puppers are great too!!!

17.  clear skies or rain: Fucking rain I love rain!!

18.  cooking or eating out: I really like cooking it’s what I resort to when I’m having issues with life not working out.

19. Spicy food or mild food: I don’t like massively spicy food but I will fight you over bland food so like somewhere between the two??

20.  halloween/samhain or solstice/yule/christmas: I only really started doing halloween like a couple of years ago but i do enjoy it (woo for fancy dress) but i do really love christmas!

21.  would you rather forever be a little too cold or a little too hot: cold definitely i hate the heat. It was 15 degrees c today (59 fahrenheit thanks google) and i was dying and complaining most of the day

22.  if you could have a superpower, what would it be: Shapeshifting!!!! 

23.  animation or live action: Again with the whole job thing, live action but i love animated films too!!

24.  paragon or renegade: eh?

25.  baths or showers: i shower more often but my house doesn’t have a bath and i really miss it. also currently with my leg injuries i would love a bath because they ache so bad D:  

26.  team cap or team ironman:  umm i don’t know?? I’m not gonna choose sorry

27.  fantasy or sci-fi: Fantasy but scifi is awesome!

28. do you have three or four  favourite quotes? if so what are they: Presume not that I am the thing I was - Shakespeare Henry V

The planets and heavens will move for you. - this is a quote from a poem @deaded123/ @breathingtheworldinwords wrote for me which is my favourite poem

I am constantly coming across quotes i want ot remember but i never write them down so yeah...

29.  youtube or netflix: netflix

30.  harry potter or percy jackson: Harry potter but am currently working my way through the percy jacksons series which i do enjoy and rick riordan is an awesome human!

31.  when you feel accomplished: when i remember how far i’ve come from what i was and how hard i’ve fought to be where i am now. Also I once forgot what happened in a battle on an history exam so proceeded to talk about the battle of helms deep and cut the orcs and elves. I got 100% on that paper. ;)

32.  star wars or star trek: star wars......it was my childhood and i love it so much

33.  paperback books or hardback books: i do love me a good hardback but my paperbacks have kept me company for a long time

34. horror or rom-com: ummm i’m not great at horror but it depends so i’d probs watch the rom com and just be cynically sarcastic throughout...(the fact that i enjoy rom coms when i’m not great and actual romance annoys myself)

35.  to live in a world without literature or music: that is just mean :P but i’d have to chose literature as my life is based around stories

36.  pastel colours or dark colours: dark definitely!! other people look aweosme in pastels but i don’t like wearing them and honeslty just feel kind of suspicious of them as a colour group (i have no idea why i have such storng opinions on pastels or why i am suspicious...)

37.  tv shows or movies: Tv shows as you go through so much more. Also it suits my attention span better

38.  city or countryside: can i have like a town?? i love the countryside but i also need to be around other people or i get very morbid

39.  if any other zodiac sign could describe you, what would it be: i don’t understand??i’m a leo and honeslty haven’t looked at the others enough to know the traits!

40.  if you could only listen to one album for the rest of your life what would it be: i would currently choose one of sia’s albums as just yes

41.  cinema or theatre: cinema because i love films but i do enjoy theatre

42.  if you could be any fictional character’s best friend, who’d you be: hmmmmmmmm i honeslty don’t know as my favs are people like me but being around someone like me as a best friend is kind of an odd thought...pass?

43.  smiling or smirking: smiling to me means just being free and comfortable to be happy and smirking in my mind is the silly little in jokes that tyou have with friends in the middle of a conversation or when you’ve thought of something inappropriately funny both of which i do a lot.

44.  are you an ‘all or nothing’ type or are you more consistent: all or nothing probably

45.  playlists or your whole library on shuffle: shuffle because i’m too lazy to make playlists

46.  travelling or staying at home: Travelling,but i like to have a base somewhere. but yeah i get bored of places easily and am not attached to anywhere as a ‘home’ as a concept i’ve never really got that feeling about anywhere? um it’s hard to explain so i’m just gonna stop cos i don’t know what my point is

47.  books or fanfiction: both are literature and they’re both stories and i fucking love stories in all forms! right now i’m reading more fanfiction because when i need to work lets get lost in emotions about fictional characters right?! but seriously i have a bunch of favourite fanfics which i keep rereading and most are novel length so like not much of  a difference!

48.  If you could live in a fantasy world, what world would it be: the chronicles of ixia world probably but like god there are so many that i’d want to be in!!

49. your favorite cartoon: um i don’t really watch that many cartoons... cacn i claim the Dragons tv series that accompanies httyd? it’s animated......

50.  name the weirdest five songs on your itunes, current or past: um ok so i have a bit of  a weird thing about my music in that i don’t like talking about it too much...i’m getting better but yeah i don’t want to answer this :)

51. mountains or plains: Mountains!!!!!!! they give me liiiiiiiiiife

52. favorite anime (or tv show if you don’t watch anime): Yuri on ice is the first anime i’ve watched and honeslty have fallen in love with it and it has ruined my world right now (it’s what my anxieties are currently directed out instead of at my work which i’m cool with) and the only other one i’ve seen is ouran high school host club which i actually watched half of yesterday whilst working as a friend loves it, it’s amusing :)

53. which social media platform are you most like yourself on: err i don’t really do social media much. i have facebook to talk to uni people, a couple of group chats with home people and it’s the only contact i have with my dad’s side of the fam as most don’t live in england but i don’t actually post anything except about work i’ve got donea dn funny photos of my friends. obvs i have tumblr which i overshare about myself way too much but this is probs a very accurate summary of my shit sense of humour, tv shows, and everything else in my head! though i do sometimes get concerned about my oversharing on here cos y’know internet safetyand all D: oh i have snapchat too but i mainly use it to talk to 2 friends one is in germany so i can’t ring her like i used to and the other we pretty much just send each other selfies with a lot of heart emojis! i’ve been debating getting instagram but haven’t decided yet...

54. What are some of your passions:anyone that knows me or reads my frequent oversharing will know i work in costume stuff so yeah i can literally talk about costuming and historic fashions for days and not get bored so yeha don’t ask about that unless you ready to learn!! ;) um i’m also an archery instructor, really love drawing, and just yeah the various tv, film and book obsessions that i go through (currently it’s yoi but i do try and keep my obsession from fully taking ove rthis blog-80% of it is still my shit sense of humour

55. Favourite food: I will fight everyone to get a proper roast dinner with yorkshire puddings and also chocolate.....and pomegranates.....and sugar snap peas......

This was fun!!!