#they say intelligent ppl are lonelier right? :')

[mithliya]

About friendship with trans people, I'd befriend people who suffer from dysphoria because I suffer from it to an extent. I live in an uber-conservative country, so it's inevitable; a LOT of girls and women suffer from it, even though they do not want to become male. However, I always knew surgery cannot change sex, so I never identified as trans. Living in a conservative country, all my friends are female, and I know them for a long time (since childhood, and only bio women were allowed into girls' schools); had they been trans (ftm), I would've known. Male friend that might turn out to be female? The chance is zero because I don't have male friends. I wouldn't go out of my way to befriend the sex of people who congratulate criminals under posts about honor murder or rape. Openly defend honor murder in front of me. Or type of "friends" that come up with a bullshit term like "friend-zone". Extreme sex segregation is the only thing I like about where I live. Now, had my friends been trans (ftm), I would've known. Let's say there's a 2% chance some of my friends are ftm, I wouldn't care because if their mindset or behavior hasn't bothered me so far, then it's not my business; I'm not going to dump them just 'cause they're suffering from dysphoria and want to transition because they think it will ease their struggle, which is not easy but it's legal; their choice. But going out of my way to befriend people who I'm more likely to fundamentally disagree with? Um...fuck that! I had this mindset in the past and remained friends with my muslimah friends after I left the religion, and everytime they talked I felt like someone was trying to drown me because I disagreed with what they said, but I couldn't say my opinion because that is how some of my family had to flee the country; because of their waste of space friends who wanted to get them killed/arrested. Then, one day, I told the most laid back one out of them that I'm "deist". Yes you heard me right, deist! And she went apeshit crazy. It was very, very stressful and I won't go into detail but the only way I managed to shut her up was blackmailing her back. So from that day on, I've promised myself that I'd only befriend people that are more likely to be similar-minded or at least I will agree with them in fundamental stuff. I'm doing much better since that decision. Believers? People who I fundamentally disagree with? They are my acquientances at best, not friends. Life is shit as it is in a collapsing third world country, and I'm not a masochist to make it shittier. I'm not going to converse with people who are more likely to get on my nerves and try to directly or indirectly insinuate that women here deserve to be second class citizens because prophet said "women are deficient in Intelligence"; or "gendure is innate", "anyone can identify as man/woman" or whatever. There are trans men who don't externilize misogyny, there are! But I don't have a detector, and I'm tired of the guessing games.

I don't owe friendship to people who laugh at radfems who post about the friends they've lost to gendur ideology, telling them they deserve loneliness, blah blah. I used to watch a TRA YouTuber for three years and he did laugh at an online community of "terves" grieving for their lost friendships. If anything I've learned from living in a theocratic country where my blood is halal, is that respect goes both ways. I'm tired of empathizing with everyone. They have enough friends of their own.

i think there’s nothing wrong w a woman not wanting to befriend males & it makes perfect sense not to befriend ppl if there is a fundamental difference in ur worldview. its also why i used to have trans friends but not anymore lol like im open to befriending a trans person if they dont buy into gender ideology but thats quite rare nowadays so realistically speaking its highly unlikely for me. as u mentioned its just not comfortable befriending someone who thinks badly of u and is ready to come after u over ur difference in beliefs no matter how tame. if someone believes im evil for not thinking ppl are born in the wrong body n for thinking transition shouldn’t be the immediate response to dysphoria or that males can turn into women then… let them.. i wont sit there proving my humanity to someone 🤷🏾‍♀️

[fairycosmos]

hey queen whats up! been thinking about being queer and lonely and not out irl and wondering about whether theres gonna be a time where it won't be like this and just...... feeling connected to history & how the queer aspect of my loneliness is shared between like every lgbt person ever... and also being able to shed all of that every now & then at a queer club night and suddenly im surrounded and connected and it feels so shallow personally because they're all strangers but also theres a certain safety & sense of understanding??? but then I go home to my parents house and just wait until I can feel connection to others again.. the inherent loneliness in queerness and the inherent queerness in loneliness!!! but obviously what I really want is intimacy & friendship with the added bonus of queerness so its like... how much of this is just regular old loneliness & isolation? I'm just greatful im queer bc theres any amount of connection to a specific group at all but who would I feel that way towards if I was straight? everyone or no one??

godddd i love when people are smart and intelligent and beautiful and cool like this in my inbox idc if im being cheesy - i love it more than words. i feel this so much, it speaks to me in ways that i cant even articulate. reminds me of that one quote about the closeted kid who would call all the gay bars in his town and not say anything just to hear the nightlife and the people. just to know that there's a world out there that exists beyond this alienation, literally just to know. anyway i totally hear you. i'm also closeted to most ppl irl and there is absolutely nothing that compares to the fundamental lack of understanding and connection i feel on a daily basis. i almost don't let myself think about it too much, because if i start thinking about it i realize how much it's dictating my life in a way that i can't really do anything about, and it's so painful. the endless dichotomy of being lgbt = finding community and being lgbt = being outcasted is interesting and sad. how both of those things are so endlessly true and real, how these contradictions intersect in our lives so strongly. i also often wonder what it'd be like if i was straight, or if i was out, but i always find myself back in the same place. queer and nobody really knows, and it is what it is.

i'm really glad you've managed to find some sense of community despite it all. it is so, so deserved. hope youve been having the time of your life at all the clubs and being in the midst of it all, even if you do have to come back home at the end of the night. i truly don't believe it'll always be that way for you, that it'll be a long process of breaking out and finding the right people and the right environment for yourself with time and just like, the natural progression of life. but i know that's not the point. and i do think there's a lot to be said about regular old loneliness, especially with the pandemic and ppl generally being quite estranged from one and other in general. but there's definitely a specific layer added when you factor in how it feels to not be able to be authentic with the people in your immediate reality just because of your orientation, you know? it's hard, it really really is. and i see all of these ppl my age being out and proud of who they are esp online and i just can't, which is the flip side of being able to easily find other queer ppl on the internet. but that's a whole other thing! anyway, i think a lot of lgbt ppl have this exact internal battle often and it's like you said - even in your alienation, you will always be a part of that experience and that community. there will always be people who relate to what you're going through, and you are never truly in it alone!! even though i'm always an (unintentional) downer even i can't deny the beauty and comfort in that :)

[rnajorarcana]

               ❛  can’t tell if i’m really here , i think i’m leaving this body -                                              bye - ye - ye - ye - ye !

                                                        oliver oli d’angelo . 23 . pan . he/they .                                                                              angel boy .                                                                              ( bullying , toxic relationships )

✧ ˖ * ° ><> ╱  ross lynch,  genderfluid,  he/they —  look  who’s  fresh  from  the  ferry,  aren’t  you  OLIVER  “ OLI "  D'ANGELO  ?  your  eroda  brochure  says  you’re  TWENTY - THREE  and  that  you’re  currently  residing  in  MARMOTON.  your  favourite  tourist  attraction  to  hang  around  is  SEA ROCK BREWERY,  and  the  locals  around  these  ports  would  describe  you  as  SILVER  TONGUED  &  CLEVER,  RETICENT  &  INSECURE.  your  resting  fish  face  really  gives  off  SHADES  OF  BLUE  REFLECTING  THE  SEAS  &  SKIES ,  TATTOO  INK  MIXED  WITH  GLITTER ,  THE  MAGIC  IN  HIS  VEINS  &  THE  DIAMONDS  IN  HIS  BONES  and  i’m  a  big  fan  of  the  DECK OF TAROT CARDS  you  seem  to  always  be  attached  to.  well,  if  you  see  the  minister  this  morning;  make  sure  you  head  on  home  as  quick  as  possible,  you  never  know  what  bad  luck  he  could  bring.

                       i . past

there is a saying that the amount of kind people in the world is diminishing ; and given exactly what you’ve been through , my dear boy ?? you could attest to that . kind people are forged in fire & have blood leaking from their mouths , given bruised knuckles and black eyes - yet here you are .

eroda born you grow up shy & quiet , gentle & sensitive - the type of kid that is easy to befriend if you talk to him but is equally as easy to shove into a locker . you are sketchpads & soft smiles but bruised cheeks & visits to the principal’s office and you’re told boys will be boys so there isn’t much the school boards can do about your constant harassment . you’re different than them because you don’t fit into their mold ; girls like you because you don’t pull their hair or make fun of them for being girls and that makes the other ones jealous , further worsening the treatment .

all you have is you , taking solace in the two things you know - artwork & video games . you imagine yourself as a gallant hero - like the one in the zelda games - riding alone but still kind & brave , and these drawings you make consist of both the characters from your comfort and yourself as such . you bury yourself in your nintendo ds , carrying it everywhere , and maybe one day you’ll be the link to a story where there’s a courageous hero needed and you can fill that slot . of course , your interests only contribute to the fact you’re seen as high school’s punching bag . you take it .

but things get different the one day you get pushed to the ground - because high school’s like that - and your beloved drawings get torn , your ds held from your grasp like a toy held from a jumping dog . and oli d’angelo , the ‘ angel boy ’ , with red lips & cherub cheeks & puppy eyes , decides he’s had enough and clocks his assailant back . principal’s office visit again , you’re suspended , but your darling mother ( she’s all you have ; your father strolled out the door before you could know him & the woman is a bit broken from hoping he could come back after all these years ) rubs your back , takes you out for ice cream , and tells you that you did the right thing .

doesn’t feel like it , since your limits were simply pushed .

graduation , art school , new horizons . oliver d’angelo meets trevor frost , and they instantly click , and with words exchanged across library tables and eventually kisses behind bookshelves , a budding romance is formed . he’s rich ; he even offers to pay for your tuition , but you fall in love with him because he looks at you like you are everything , but you don’t realize the wool pulled over your eyes - because you’re an angel who’s naive & innocent and he’s the monster that berates you & digs at you with even the most syrupy words , then lulls you into coming back . you spend your nights crying thinking you are to blame for things he’s done to you - finding he has more bedmates than just yourself , being accused of things that aren’t your fault or your doing . . . you are broken down , piece by piece , and once more . . . there’s a day where you can no longer take it .

screaming , hellfire , a broken angel finally breaks free of his chains and runs away , even though the monster tried to clip his wings . you pack up your things and leave , and you realize that your financial support is gone , but you need to get out . 

. . . this life , it’s tested your kindness & your patience - you’ve been tossed through the wringer endlessly , and as you leave his apartment , you make a resolution that you can no longer allow yourself to be hurt . you cannot be vulnerable .

you are now oli , and oli shows up to his high school reunion with a new air of confidence . obnoxious confidence , like a party boy - but he retains his charm , words of silver leaking from his lips and charisma among a crowd enough to bring in even those who treated him unkindly in the years prior . he becomes the LIFE OF THE PARTY , but he doesn’t actually want to be there . this new persona - this arrogance , this annoying voice , this being who participates in every vice possible . . . he is nothing like the sweet & gentle boy that lies underneath . but he’s a mask , a suit of armor that you carry - so you can numb yourself over the loneliness & hurt that’s plagued you over the years .

new horizons , take two . you complete a tattoo artist apprenticeship , get your license - ship yourself off to another chapter of your life that hopefully means things will change . you’re black clothes & sunglasses & tarot cards & tattoos , silver tongues and smiles that only signal mischief . long conversations and words flying a mile a minute because your mouth is your greatest weapon . the good thing is nobody here knows you . . . even though maybe , you’d want them to - but if you do , you run the risk of getting hurt again .

oliver gets hurt , but oli is a courageous hero ( maybe ) that can go up against anything needed . . . you can be oli for now , even though that hurts just as much . 

                      ii . present

SO OLI . . . god this is my son . this is my oc i’ve written forever and god do i love him . 

so !! he’s an artist , loves to draw , paint , etc , now employed as a tattoo artist ! and . . . he’s also . got a lot of bad habits since he’s got a party boy facade to keep up and tries to make himself into someone else since , who he actually is , he’s scared to be in fear of getting hurt again . 

on the inside , he’s sweet and gentle and introvereted - he doesn’t like big social gatherings and would much rather vibe on his own or with a few close friends ( if he had friends ) than anything else . but he’s afraid , again , of being himself or being vulnerable towards anyone else because he’s seen as an easy target , and his feelings are easy to manipulate . . . 

so on the outside , he’s much different . he’s fucking annoying , to start - he’s a talker , always has something to say , and he’s very good at keeping a conversation . he’s a charmer , and paired with his big brown eyes and his award winning smile he can talk a snake out of its basket . but he also , again , maybe says too much and doesn’t have any fear or realization of consequences , and indulges himself in things like alcohol , sleeping around , loud parties , etc . because that’s the persona that keeps him guarded . and he’s gotten used to it , but he doesn’t like that this is what he’s known for . he wants people to get to know him for him but . . . this is his only option , since if he lets people inside , he gets hurt . so he just has to deal . 

he’s that person that talks so much , you think he’s oversharing when in ACTUALITY he’s telling you nothing of importance . oli is fucking smart & intelligent and he knows how to read a room , how to pick his words - all survival techniques he’s learned from navigating the world around him . he’s . . . an expert at this social stuff , even tho tbh he much rather wouldn’t be . 

some ppl want to kiss him some ppl want to kick him it be like that sometimes

he’s still nice !! he’s very nice - but maybe a bit more crass and unafraid to say shit that you wouldn’t expect anyone else to say .

but also also it’s like i said before - he is very into artwork and video games , the latter especially being his huge comfort . first is his passion , second is his comfort . oli loves games and he’s lowkey nerdy as hell , even though he’s trying to conceal some parts of himself THAT always bleeds through in some shape or form . 

he’s also extremely into witchcraft , and that’s a major part of his character as well . he likes hanging at the brewery because it’s easy to get people who want tarot readings from him , and he always keeps a sigil or a crystal or something on his person . always has a water bottle of witch tea , always enchants his clothes or items , cleans his workspace at the tat parlor he works at with moonwater - that stuff . he’s known as two things - the angel boy or the magic boy . 

o also he’s genderfluid so rly any titles are valid for him , comfy with anything . diagnosed bipolar ii & adhd bc i’m a bitch that loves to project . 

HE’S . . . HE’S A GOOD BOY . he’s just . afraid to show that he’s a good boy . he’s got a heart of gold but he’s scared that if he shows it someone else is gonna use him again .

ANYWAYS !! like this n i , light , the bastard , will message u for plots !!

[conelly]

( luke hemmings, twenty-two, cismale, he/him ) did you see BYRON CONELLY walking down main street earlier?  you know who i’m talking about, they’re a DECKHAND.  everybody in town says that they’re SANGUINE & NONJUDGEMENTAL, but have a tendency to be IMPRESSIONABLE & VOLATILE too.  BYRON has been in town for ONE AND A BIT years. c'mon, they’re always requesting SWEET CAROLINE by NEIL DIAMOND at karaoke nights.  well, i’m sure you’ll see them soon! ( ooc: sunny, 22, she/her, est )

hi thanks for tuning in, SUNNY here to tell you all a lil bit about westmere’s very own new nd improved favorite loser below. sorry for this summary being all over the place, it’s kinda how my brain works heh which is kinda perfect bc byron will for SURE be all over the place too ( u can rly tell at a certain point i was like ok i give up + i’m posting mf ). let me know if u have any questions about ‘em and most importantly, lmk if you would like to plot a lil connect or sumn 😙

@westmerestarters​ 

FAMBAM + BACKGROUND

born 14 years after the elder conelly ( wanted brother connect !!! ) entered this word to two parents who didn’t seem to read the job description, it was clear that byron wasn’t planned. and down the line, he’d soon realize through the tumultuous household he was brought up in - perhaps never even wanted.

byron’s parents had one constant - and that was fighting. over anything, all the time. there just wasn’t any love between the two and they stayed together for whatever meaningless reasons until byron hit middle school. ( there might’ve been a super short lull in toxicity once byron was born, but it had to be short as his first memories are nothing shy of toxic. )  it was a messy separation ( they never paid the full legal fees for a full divorce ) - his father moving to the coast of nj & his mother moving to a smaller apartment nearby her own mother ( which, due to the negative relationship among his mother + grandmother, also called for more tension ). he’d often be dropped off @ his grandmother’s house for baby-sitting or when he was ‘ becoming too much to handle. ’ eventually his grandmother moved into his cousin’s house ( MONROE ) and although grateful he made a practically new brother, similar tendencies of feeling unwanted occurred when byron noticed their grandmother praising and coddling and favoriting monroe just a bit more.

( his mother was a struggling addict ( and had been her whole life ), but the loneliness, newfound pressures and whatever excuse she was able to name caused her drinking to spiral worse than byron remembered ( even at his young age ) before. )

( his father was rarely in his life, but when he was, he was THE coolest. always played good cop in any situation regarding his mother, despite choosing not to have an active role in byron’s life. byron looked up to him like no other. when he WAS around, he taught byron how to surf, skateboard, play sports, they’d play video games, they’d eat junk food - honestly anything that byron wanted to do. his dad was an adrenaline junkie and created the stepping stones for byron to be one too. he was a marine biologist & pretty successful at that. passionate,  intelligent, but seemingly finding his newfound life a lot better than his previous - which is why he never wanted byron to stay too long, the boy reminded him of her, of the past. )

( his older brother moved out of the house when byron was just a lil kid, they’re not very close and don’t have much in common ... or so it seems. he lives in nyc and they only talk here and there on holidays. he was never a huge part of his life, but it does bum him out to think what could’ve been / could be. )

TO GET THE GIST 

due to never receiving the attention he craved from his family members, he made up for it tenfold in school. he was always talking to everyone, loud, boisterous, gregarious, life of the party; he wanted people to like him and they did. he become a total people pleaser, molding himself to make sure everyone was content and stayed around. impressionable, adaptable. he felt less this way towards adults and had a bit of a rebellious phase, hanging with the wrong crowd & getting into things he probably wouldn’t do otherwise. old habits die hard and he still tries his best to make everyone crack a smile, to remember him - since he believes he won’t be remembered for much else.

after he just barely skated by in high school ( his grades were never as good as his cousin’s and never lived up to his father’s expectations ), byron felt a bit lost. a lot of people had plans, were heading off to college - but already under the assumption he couldn’t reach any expectation in that realm ( a lil self fulfilling prophecy am i right pals ), he stayed in town - caring for his mother who hardly had anything together, his uncle who got sick very quickly & passed, spending time with his grandmother, while he himself fell into a rut. most of his days meant he drove out towards his dad’s place ( dad hardly there now, out and about with his new family ), surfing, smoking, and grabbing some cash doing odd jobs any way he could. he lost any purpose he once had ( but yall would never know it bc who wants to be in someone’s life who’s a buzzkill ? all smiles, baby, all smiles. )

IN WESTMERE

when his cousin offered the opportunity to travel cross-country in his van, byron had nothing to lose. always adventurous in spirit, he immediately said yes - deciding to ignore that ‘obligation,’ that feeling to make sure they were a-ok that he felt towards his parents. he needed an out and this was it. 

after landing in the small connecticut town for the night, the two fell for it - especially since when they got there along the water, it was a summer night + everything landed into place. they decided to stay there a bit longer ... and that eventually turned into more than a year. still antsy to keep traveling and to move around, byron has been ready to head out ... but stays for a few reasons - and them all being people ( bc lbh the surf is not even on point here ok )

his current job is a deckhand ( on a bunch of boats, ppl prob hired him as word of mouth got around that he knew what he was doing ). prob got that knowledge from being by his dad’s on the water when younger ( he’s ... obsessed with the water ) ! and also he’s just a quick learner ok ( ps: if your charrie has a boat pls let’s make somethin happen )

TO KNOW [ headcanons + more ]

his fav karaoke song is sweet caroline bc he knows everyone will be able to sing nd party along. he does it for the ppl, ppl.

he never saw too many baby / kid pics of himself which was kind of a bummer bc he really only remembers negative times - somehow they overpowered ( i bet lil byron was cute as fuck too fml )

he’s super into drugs, hallucinogenics, honestly you name it. it started off w/ him being impressionable, then bored, and now he just enjoys it. despite his mother’s addiction running through his blood, he still continues to do his thang.  

longboards around town so watch your toes

uses 🤙🤙 all the time and not ironically 

has an existential crisis on the daily about purpose but keeps that to himself most times 

WANTED CONNECTIONS

someone pls give me a sugar mama idc how we plot it out they don’t have to hook up they can idk idc i just want someone giving him money or expensive things it can be so much fun ok ,, pool boy ? idk sign me up

pls if your muse has a boat, let him be the deckhand ok it will also be so fun and potentially angsty if he fucks something up

a fling 100% - even multiple ? idc listen he is currently sharing a tiny VAN with his COUSIN he needs a place - like an actual bed - to crash on at night

can he save someone who was potentially drowning pls??? he used to be a lifeguard, it can be a cool/fun thread to write out

omg off of that can he teach someone how to swim 

look if anyone is into marine bio, can they somehow know byron’s father ?? i feel like that could make room for a cool plot

also i have an older brother connect on the w/c’s page lmk lmk

give me a good influence that will somehow have him open up + tell him that it’s weird to be so sunshiny all the time. maybe someone who witnesses him at his worst + stays, ya know ??

a bad influence plot where y/c takes this impressionable young lad and puts him through the ringer tbh ( srrsly he’d do a lot for ppl, so ask him to do something illegal for them it’ll be fun )

party pals, smoking pals, on the water 24/7 pals, 

co-worker, other ppl that work on the water ( fishermen?? more deckhands?? captains??)

gimmie someone he accidentally bumped into while longboarding ( he’s a large human it might’ve done damage ok )

i want and need enemies ok i know he’s chill as fuck and wants everyone to like him but there’s always a way to find enemies >:o. anything angsty for REAL.

unrequited thing? where he led someone on?? i’m sure he does this constantly

don’t ruin the friendship thing omg plsssss always so fun

look i’m open for it ALL. every plot u have in mind so lay it on me

[normal-thoughts-official]

Ok uhhh claia, lukemaryse and malec superhero au headcanons

first of all, id just like to say that i love this new trend of u guys sending me really vague prompts and giving me complete creative freedom to do whatever i want with them. i think it really shows that u trust me to create good, interesting content, and that means a lot to me. second of all, that trust is entirely misplaced. why would you ever think that id make something good. have you met me. what im trying to say here is basically: this is your own fault

behold:

In a world where everyone has a superpower, the world is bound to work a little different. No one knows what determines people's superpowers; some are fairly common (like teleportation, which led to a lot of ppl working as cabs, taking ppl to and from wherever they need) and others are unique and particularly powerful (and also dangerous, which is why particularly powerful people are part of an elite squad dedicated to keep the world safe; our very own superheroes)

Alec's superpower is definitely unique: he can sense trash. That's it. Hes just going around, living his life, sensing trash. He knows when people are littering. He can sense it from a pretty far away distance. Everywhere he goes, he knows where all the trash cans are. His life is just. Him and the trash, everywhere, haunting him

No one's ever heard of this before. Alec's mom, maryse, can bend all four elements, and is part of the Elite Squad; so is his father, although he retired from action and works behind a desk now. His sister izzy has superspeed and was trained to perfect combat in the hopes she would follow their footsteps, but ultimately decided to give it up and become a biologist instead. And Alec. Can sense trash

This was the source of a lot of Family Drama, since alec's parents were pretty strict and held their position as elite superheroes with pride, expecting nothing less from their children. But after many years of trying and failing to somehow make up for it, Alec decided to say fuck them and fully embraced who he is, refusing to live in apology. Once he finally left their house to live on his own, maryse realised he meant wanting to cut them off his life for real, and came around. Robert's lack of understanding was one of the factors that led to their divorce

Alec became an architect and works to build better and efficient waste collection systems in the country. Due to his power, he knows which places need the most infrastructure investment, as well as the problems that lead to the littering. He also knows which companies are illegally discarding their waste and how, the exact effects of that on the environment, and a lot of stuff that would otherwise only be possible through extensive research. He is an activist for both a better public, free, universal waste removal system, and stricter regulations on companies that profit from environmental destruction.

And the thing is, he likes this life. He's passionate about it. Everyday at work he gets to do a little something to make the world better and fight against injustice and use his place of privilege that comes from his education and his so-called "useless" superpower for change. He wouldn't trade it for the world and he's really passionate about what he does, even if it does take up most of his time

So when his mom comes in one day saying that a new villain named Trash Man is going around and killing people and they need his help to track him, Alec is not. amused.

First of all: Trash Man? come on

But he kind of has no choice, since this is top priority at the moment and the very ministery of security is calling him or something - every citizen is required to register their powers so they know exactly when they're needed

So he goes, and for the first time, he meets the rest of his mom's Top Secret team; first of all, there's the leader, Luke: his power is persuasion and hes very good at de-escalating events to guarantee minimal damage and better solutions, making him the most valuable asset of the team. Then there's Maryse, and under them, a team of relatively young, but very powerful, heroes: maia, a shapeshifter; clary, who can summon weapons and is very good at Stabbing; and Magnus, who can bend time and space

Magnus is also kind of the Group Genius; his power also got him an special interest in physics and chemistry, meaning that he is not only able to use his power intelligently and creatively, but effectively enhance it; he's also very good with tech and responsible for a lot of their non-power-related assets. Honestly, he likes that part way better than the crime-fighting blah blah blah, but he kind of has no choice over what he does because he's an orphan and extremely powerful, meaning he's viewed as a threat by the government while simultaneously being dependant on them, and would pretty much have nowhere to turn to if he didnt start working for them

But really, he wants to be a scientist. He wants to do good things. He wants to create stuff that will make people's lives, and the world, better. He doesn't even believe in this whole "crime fighting" shit; he believes in a just world crime would be minimal and using their resources to fight bad guys instead of working on crime prevention is an absolute waste. But it's not like anybody asked for his opinion.

Alec and Magnus immediately hit it off; Alec was kind of tense at first because surely these guys would have the world's hugest chip on their shoulder, right? But instead everyone welcomes him, and Magnus kind of jokes that he envies him, which takes him by surprise

Because Maia and Clary are both Magnus' great friends as well, Alec also gets closer to them; Clary can be a little self-centered and annoying, but she's cool and Maia always calls her out on it. Maia is a fierce, amazing, smart girl and Alec can totally see why she and Magnus are so close, with their similar sense of humor, shared experiences (Maia is not an orphan but she ran away from home when she was pretty young), and gleaming, almost mischievous intelligence and talent. Alec can hold a conversation with them alright, since as an architect he needs quite some knowledge of physics and as an activist he can also hold pretty good and deep conversations with them about the system and its flawed, unjust logic; but there are some topics they get into that just kind of escalate and seem to get them in their own little world. Alec finds himself watching from the sidelines sometimes, and while he admires that - and doesnt miss the way clary will sometimes sit beside him and watch them as well, a small smile on her face that tells him everything he needs to know - he finds himself... a little upset by it, too

Not that he has a problem with them, but he finds himself wanting to feel like he belongs, and that's kind of- new. It's not like his life is a sad wet sock of loneliness or anything, he has his sister, he has some friends, but he's a private kind of guy and he finds himself more comfortable at the sidelines than the spotlight, except when it comes to his work, because hes good at that

It's just his luck, then, that Trash Man turns out to be really smart and hard to track due to [vague plot noises], giving him all the time he needs to, well, figure this out

So he spends more time with them, particularly Magnus. The both of them will sometimes sit talking for hours, and soon learn a lot about each other. Magnus listens, enraptured, whenever Alec goes on a passionate Trash Rant™ and Alec is always in awe by Magnus' smart solutions. They begin some sort of camraderie that's also laced with Magnus' oh-so-smooth flirting, which started strong and eventually died out as Magnus began to realize he really liked Alec and his usual confidence and devil-may-care attitude vanished. But Alec mistakes this as Magnus losing interest or him seeing things. Cue lots of mutual pining

At least once Alec gets thrown through a wall by some villain; but, little did he know, it wasnt just a normal wall that he broke; it was the fourth wall. Alec looks straight into the reader's eyes, and goes: "I can sense trash. That's why, in this AU, i was never friends with jace". Then Magnus comes in and takes him back to the other side of the wall, and Alec blinks, confused, not remembering what had just happened. This is never mentioned again

Idk theres some gay shit in here, Alec introduces Magnus to Izzy and Magnus is absolutely in awe with her work. Izzy specializes in pollinators and works trying to restore the bee population and guarantee a more sustainable environment. Her work crosses with Alec's a surprising amount of times, and Magnus, who loves both animals and the incredible amount of knowledge her research requires, and they become super good friends almost immediately, which makes Alec very pleased.

More gay shit, Alec and Magnus decide to team up to try and get Clary and Maia together, only to be knocked sideways when they find out they're already dating. Maryse is like "do the four of you ever work" and Alec is hit with the realisation that his mom, too, kind of lives in the sidelines when it comes to things that arent work; luke seems to be kind of the mediator between her and the rest of the team, which is kind of sad. She does seem to have a good relationship with Luke, tho

Eventually they defeat Trash Man and Alec is no longer required to work for them and can go back to his trash activism; and when he does, so does Magnus, who is invited to work with izzy's team, which he gladly accepts

Somehow Alec confesses? And Magnus is in awe because he of course never expected Alec to like him back but. It turns out Alec is the most confident out of the two of them despite their exterior telling most people otherwise. And Magnus just says that yes he likes him back and will go out with him and they kiss passionately in the middle of the lab surrounded by bees but there are also flowers so theres that. And then they get married. I mean not right after but some years later

Magnus leaving inspires the rest of them, in some ways; Maia, Luke and Maryse start actually fighting to change the crime fighting policies to investment in crime prevention because new supervillains will always keep coming. The romantic tension between them finally snaps and they start going out. Maryse seems like such a different person now, more open and happier. Alec is pleased

They save the bees and the trash and the impending environmental apocalypse that looms over us is avoided idk that's all Ive got

Again this is your fault

The end

[silvrtcngue]

dominic sherwood :  cismale : he/him : student : afraid by the neighborhood  ϟ  did you see draco malfoy ? you know ,  22 year old pureblood who is in slytherin. some say he can be quite +dutiful but are known to be -abrasive . they are secretly aligned with the neutrals .  maybe that’s why they remind me of pressed, white button downs; old history books with delicate bindings; the scent of dew on an early spring morning; piercing eyes looking off into the distance filled with horror and distraught;  ϟ  penned by rhia : 20 : est : she/her .

𝐏𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐄𝐒𝐓 𝐏𝐀𝐆𝐄  //  𝐒𝐏𝐎𝐓𝐈𝐅𝐘 𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐘𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓

hi  hello  my  name  is  rhia  &  i’m  super  excited  to  be  here  with  all  you  lovely  ppl  !!  i’m not  going  to  lie  to  y’all  ,  this  is  my  first  time  playing  as  draco  ,  so  i  wanna  apologize  in  advance  for  any  inconsistencies  or  errors  on  my  part  ,  there  will  definitely  be  a  bit  of  trial  &  error  at  first  BUT  he’s  one  of  my  fave  characters  from  the  hp  universe  so  hopefully  i  can  do  him  justice !!  as  a  general  warning  though  ,  he  will  definitely  be  canon  divergent  bc  i  like  adding  my  own  twists  to  canon  characters  (    it’s  more  fun  for  me  that  way  tbh  !!    ).  anyways  ,  enough  rambling  ,  onto  the  good  stuff  !!

𝐁𝐀𝐒𝐈𝐂 𝐈𝐍𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐌𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍:

full  name  : draco  lucius  malfoy

birthday  :  June  5th  ,  1980

hogwarts  house  :  slytherin

blood  status  :  pureblood

sexuality  :  unsure  (  he’s  still questioning  atm  )

height  :  5′11″

hair  colour  :  silver  -  blond

eye  colour  :  gray

wand  :  10" ,  hawthorn  ,  unicorn hair  (   ❛    hawthorn  wands  may  be  particularly  suited  to  healing  magic  ,  but  they  are  also  adept  at  curses  ,  &  the  hawthorn  wand  seems  most  at  home  with  a  conflicted  nature  ,  or  with  a  witch  or  wizard  passing  through  a  period  of  turmoil.    ❜        ❛     unicorn  hair  :  wands  with  these  cores  produced  the  most  consistent  magic  ,  were  least  subject  to  fluctuations  &  blockages  ,   were  most  difficult  to  turn  to  the  dark arts.     ❜   )

𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐎𝐍𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐘:

likes  :    reading  ,  quiet  nights  on  the  astronomy  tower  ,  nighttime  strolls  around  the  castle  ,  the  bubbling  of  potions  ,  receiving  top  marks  ,  proving  himself  right.

dislikes  :    constant  pressure  ,  conformity  ,   loneliness  ,   the  idea  of  conflict  &  war  ,  the  fear  of  him  being  a  disappointment  to  his  family  &  the  malfoy  name.

positive  traits  :  dutiful  ,  intelligent  ,  charming.      

negative  traits  :  abrasive  ,  cowardly  ,  selfish.  

boggart  :  a  mirror  image  of  himself  ,  standing  before  him  wearing  an  evil  sneer  ,  &  bearing  the  dark  mark  on  his  forearm. 

amortentia  :  the  scent  of  a  rainy  day  ,  peppermint  ,  freshly  baked  cookies  ,  &  roses.   

patronus  :  draco  hasn’t  learned  the patronus  charm  yet  ,  &  probably  wouldn’t  be  able  to  successfully  cast  one  due  to  his  lack  of  happy  memories.  

𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐁𝐎𝐘 𝐖𝐇𝐎 𝐇𝐀𝐃 𝐍𝐎 𝐂𝐇𝐎𝐈𝐂𝐄:

              the  silver  haired  bundle  of  joy  came  into  the  world  on  a  sunny  june  morning  ,  wrapped  in  love  &  adoration  by  his  parents.  draco  lucius  malfoy  ,  a  name  he  would  find  difficult  to  live  up  to  in  the  years  to  come.

                  his  early  memories  were  no  different  than  many  young  purebloods  growing  up.  he  was  spoiled  ,  anything  he  wished  for  was  his  with  just  a  snap  of  his  fingers.  to  many  people’s  surprise  he  was  a  soft  young  boy,  with  nothing  but  love  for  those  around  him.  he  was  a  bright  white  light  amongst  darker  souls.  that  bright  light  would  be  diminished  soon  enough  ,  once  his  father  got  a  hold  of  him.  draco  taught  to  hate  those  with  ❛  tainted  blood  ❜  ,  as  his  father  plainly  put  it.  he  never  questioned  the  older  malfoy  ,  but  there  was  doubt  buried  deep  within  him  ,  quietly  waiting  to  bubble  up  towards  the  surface.

                     lucius  malfoy  was  always  a  difficult  man  to  please  ,  although  that  didn’t  deter  draco  from  trying.  as  he  aged  ,   draco  was  desperate  to  earn  his  father’s  affection.  he  dove  into  many  of  the  books  in  the  malfoy  manor  ,  learning  everything  &  anything  he  could.  he  constantly  harassed  muggleborns  &  those  deemed  less  than  him.  yet  ,  nothing  ever  worked  towards  draco’s  favor.  there  was  always  someone  better  ,  &  was  always  compared  to  those  around  him.  his  mother  ,  however  ,  was  more  compassionate  towards  him  as  a  boy.  although  she  never  defended  draco  when  lucius  would  go  after  him  ,  picking  up  the  broken  pieces  left  behind.  it  saddened  draco  for  a  while  ,  but  mostly  encouraged  him  to  do  better  ,  breaking  his  self  image  along  the  way.    

                       his  school  years  were  no  different  at  first.  he  achieved  high  marks  in  a  majority  of  his  classes  ,  &   tormenting  muggleborns  whenever  he  got  the  chance.  still  ,  it  never  felt  quite  right  to  him.  (  death  mention  tw  )  it  wasn’t  until  cedric  diggory’s  death  that  everything  he  had  tried  so  hard  to  repress came  towards  the  surface  ,  &  he  could  feel  himself  faltering.  he’s  conflicted  in  who  he  is  as  a  person  ,  &  who  he  wants  to  be.  the  worst  is  still  to  come  ,  &  draco  knows  the  expectations  laid  before  him.   time  is  running  out  for  him  ,  &  soon  he’ll  be  forced  to  pick  a  side  ,  a  decision  he’s  too  afraid  to  even  make.   

𝐖𝐀𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐍𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒:

honestly  give  me  all  the  plots  ;  friends  ,  exes  ,  friends  with  benefits  ,  confidants  ,  quidditch  rivals  ,  etc.  maybe  even  someone  who’s  muggleborn  that  he  finds  himself  tolerating  (  but  like  in  secret  idk  ???  )  or  even  like  helping  him  find  the  right  side.  or  even  a  death  eater  who  keeps  pushing  draco  towards  the  dark  side  ??  he’s  at  a  tug  of  war  with  himself  atm  so  he  could  go  either  way  lol.  just  know  that  shipping  with  draco  will  probably  be  v  tricky  bc  he’s  got  a  lot  of  insecurity  &  shit.  even  if  we  plotted  before  ,  i’m  always  down  to  try  new  plots  !  i’m  open  to  brainstorming  as  well  !!

also  note  :  i  tried  to  kinda  keep  his  backstory  vague  but  these  are  my  personal  headcanons  about  draco  &  his  parents  ,  things  are  subject  to  change  if  we  ever  get  a  lucius  or  narcissa  but  yeah.  just  wanted  to  mention  that  too.

[byeoltan]

btw gajah in malay means elephant, and elephant in korean is 코끼리 (kkokkiri), and if we consider some homophones 길 (kir/gil) means path/way, while 길이 (kiri) means long, and gajah is spelt as 가자 in korean. which means let’s go. i’ll let that sink in for a bit :)

now let’s a look at the bridge,

you too, shouldn’t hesitate either just.. whatever you want to do, do (it) cos you know, right now in a person’s day i’m saying tomorrow too (in person’s day) you can never tell what’s going to happen, so just kkokkiri step kkiri kkiri step we should go ahead with kkiri step kkokkiri step kkiri kkiri step we should go ahead with kkiri step

i thought this a brilliant play on words while at the same time the message is clear: do what your heart desires cos life is short, cos your life is yours♡

but did you know that elephants, besides being one of the most peaceful and intelligent animals in the world, are also known for possessing self-awareness and show empathy for dying or dead individuals of their kind? elephants are one of the sweetest animals on earth and the hook really imo conveys a rather subtle message, in addition,

that whatever you want to do, go ahead with it but be kind in however you roll ^^ and take one slow step at time if you must, but make it deadly positive impact, one that ppl will remember and talk about, take an elephant step to get it out of the room, you know? ;)

there’s so many ways you can go about with the song tbh what with the sewol tragedy the political state of their country and the society but with the psychedelic visual of the mv, i can almost feel the exhaustion in gaeko’s lyrics. guy’s prob tired.. of everything going on his lifeㅜㅜ and sweet namjoon’s like, i know hyung but

life is just (life just) comes thru (like that) we ain’t never want to (we’re) all players that have been forcibly selected (in this world) you don’t choose life chose you life that is (full) of color is just a pretense, it really is mono cuz everything so grey even the night is longer than the nile river our grief is vague in this complicated world there’s one thing that is clear the situation of you and i that is shoved in this existence destiny, that bastard, paints a value for us (puts a price on us) and for a life time, forces us to buy loneliness if there is a lot of discord in the world we’re kind of like the black keyboard for sure in that case, you’re too, a part of the piano (just) stay still, take a seat (and) take a shot at the the black keys think about it, are you going to be a star, or are you going to be a starfish? no disrespect for starfish but if you want a fish be selfish today in the morning (this morning) if you had looked in the mirror try think carefully of what you had thought about and then try to look (at teh mirror) again and say (to yourself) you fight for yourself you sharpen your blade for yourself

now how’s that for motivation? ;)

[frizzhle]

this is really random and idk. sorry. i just need someone to talk to because i feel like crying and i dont really want to disturb any of my friends. or anyone for that matter. which doesnt really make sense because im disturbing you atm haha sorry for rambling. i just feel really really really lonely rn. which also doesnt make sense bc i hve ppl who love me. tho i know why. bc i dont trust them. i cant trust anyone, not even myself. i feel like drowning. why is love such a hard thing to accept?

right now i just want to give you a big big fat hug and hold you for as long as you want to cus i hope it’ll take away your insecurity and loneliness. i want you to know that someone out there loves you and is willing to listen to your rambling, ranting, crying, and your silent screams. i hope this doesnt creep you out and i hope that you see physical contact as tenderness rather than fear. if you like hugs then i suggest you to go this website (http://thenicestplaceontheinter.net/) i hope it will make you feel better!!! remember what you’re feeling now, the sadness, feelings of isolation, won’t last forever! you WILL pass through this phase only if you have the will power to do so!! start by looking at the mirror and saying ‘you’re beautiful’ to your reflection. look at your achievements and say ‘i’m intelligent’. look at the worries you’ve overcome and say ‘i’m capable’. wear your favourite clothes and say ‘i look great’. soon you’ll notice your boosting self-confidence and it will glow from within. your family and friends will seeing things in you they’ve never seen before and love your for that. bless you & hwaiting/fighting!

[xthinkingtoomuch-blog1]

Get to know me

1. Selfie: do u wanna get eye cancer? 2. What would you name your future kids: gosh, that's a tough question; probably something like asshole, son of a bitch or slut (ok tbh, Olivia, Vince and Oscar r kinda cute) 3. Do you miss anyone?: I should. But I don't. I think I'm hiding my loneliness from myself. 4. What are you looking forward to?: My trip to London 5. Is there anyone who can always make you smile?: no, not when I'm truly depressed. I'm always faking my happiness. 6. Is it hard for you to get over someone?: idk, I've never been really close to someone and lost that person afterwards 7. What was your life last year?: horrible but I got to know the best hoes ever and got more independent. 8. Have you ever cried because you were so annoyed?: I guess. But I almost never cry. 9. Who did you last see in person?: That slut @allyousaidisshit 10. Are you good at hiding your feelings?: I'm not aware of my feelings 90% of the time 11. Are you listening to music right now?: Yeah, Lana del Rey - Ultraviolence 12. What is something you want right now?: happiness 13. How do you feel right now?: empty 14. When was the last time someone of the opposite sex hugged you?: uh, never? I don't hug ppl 15. Personality description: not being funny but thinking to be funny, sarcastic, introvert but open minded, weird but most of all: a Bitch (I'm actually kind I think) 16. Have you ever wanted to tell someone something but you didn't?: all the time 17. Opinion on insecurities: everyone has them and they suck af 18. Do you miss how things were a year ago?: no, but 2 years ago 19. Have you ever been to New York?: no but I'd love to 20. What's your favorite song atm?: Love by Lana del Rey 21. Age and birthday?: 17, 9/6/99 22. Description of crush: myself lol 23. Fear(s)?: failure, spiders, disappoint ppl 24. Height: 5'5 I think. 165cm 25. Role model: Emma Watson 26. Idol(s): IamKareno on YouTube (style) 27. Things I hate: Sadness, loneliness, disappointment, hate, walking really slow XD 28. I'll love you if: you make me feel happy and are able to endure me 29. Favourite film(s): Harry Potter 1-8, Fantastic Beasts, Everything Disney (especially Lion King, Bambi, Big Hero 6, Zootopia, Nightmare Before Christmas) , Inception, Interstellar 30. Favourite show(s): Stranger Things 31. 3 random facts: I'm very picky - I get annoyed and bored quite easily - I'm scared of relationships 32. Are your friends mainly girls or guys?: Hoes 33. Something you want to learn: Ballett 34. Most embarrassing moment: my life 35. Favourite subject: English, Art, Biology 36. 3 dreams you want to fulfill?: being truly happy - having kids - finding a potential husband (that's gonna be tough) 37. Favourite actor/actress?: Emma Watson, Leonardo DiCaprio, Asa Butterfield 38. Favourite comedians: my ass 39. Favourite sport(s): napping 40. Favourite memory: spending time with my mother as a child 41. Relationship status: married to food 42. Favourite book(s): Harry Potter (and all the sequels) The Neverending Story 43. Favourite song ever: Guns For Hands - TØP 44. Age you get mistaken for: 14-15 45. How you found about about your idol: spending too much time on the internet, exploring cool people 46. What my last text message says: "Alter, hol dir das Buch selbst du Hure" 47. Turn ons: making me smile, being respectful, sarcastic and intelligent 48. Turn offs: arrogance 49. Where I want to be right now: at the beach or at Disneyland 50. Favourite picture of your idol: idk 51. Starsign: Virgo 52. Something I'm talented at: being annoying 53. 5 things that make me happy: friends-vacation - great coffee - a good book - animals 54. Something that's worrying me atm: my whole life but especially school and my confidence 55. Tumblr friends: none 56. Favourite food(s): rice, (vegetarian) sushi, apples, strawberries, spaghetti 57. Favourite animal(s): dogs, deers, lions, bunnies, guinea pigs, cats, hedgehogs, squirrels 58. Description of my best friend: Opfer 59. Why I joined Tumblr: @allyousaidisshit forced me

[blanketheals-blog]

I have been reading about all the cliché stuffs people talk about love. That I would find ‘somebody’ one day finally, if I could focus on developing my true self now, that love comes unexpectedly, etc. I’m not too old for love to be depressed, ppl say, but I’m rather old I know. How come things are so difficult for me? Well again, I’m questioning and complaining as usual, but sorry I truly mean it.

I feel like it’s time to admit that it is highly probable that I will never find love. My standard is getting lower and lower through time as well lol. Lately I realized that I am up to no one’s expectation of a lovable person, so I kept my head low. And still, no one likes me. I know I sound pathetic to spit that out, but that’s the way it is. I know I’m ugly, not pretty, not lovely, not kind, not talented, not intelligent. I know I lack all of the desirable features. Even I hate myself quite many times, how could I expect others to not to?

But well of course I do realize that people who love and find love are different from me in their behaviors. Ofc I don’t match up to them in any criteria, but maybe I could try to open myself more? But no one’s gonna take it I know. 

What I hope right now, is not really somebody to love and love me. That’s way too dreamy. But I wish I could sweep all these negative feelings out of my mind. I want to live my loneliness happily.