#they normally help me because there's little i love more than annihilating a goal

[comfortlesshurt]

i cannot stick with a title to save my life, but progress update on the two bigger rough drafts i've got going on (also venting in the tags!)

[natsukitakama]

What kind of Yandere Floch is ?

Could I please get Yandere Floch since I’m really curious what type of yandere would he be but with a fem s/o who isn’t member of yeagarits and she’s with Hange and others instead, wanted to stop Eren. She’s also afraid of Floch since she can sense something odd about him

Hey I’m that anon who request yandere Floch with a reader who isn’t a yeagarist, well just so you know they’re not dating but perhaps they are friends and the reader is type of person who’s not ready to be in relationship even if she has a crush and Floch is aware of that. you could reply this ask at the same day when you post this request

Hey it’s me again, the same anon who request yandere Floch, there’s something I want to add more is that the reader figure it out that eren was using and manipulate Floch and the reader was telling Floch that he’s being used so really curious what would he tell her. Once again reply this ask until this request is posted which I know you’ll take long but I’m fine with it since I’m patience

Author note : Hi there, first of all thank you for being so patient with me ! I hope you’ll enjoy your request. It’s like a HS of my what kind of Yandere are they with two part : part 1 and part 2, the only difference is this headcanon got context

Before we started, let me reminds you those relationships are TOXIC please be careful. No one should treat you the way they did in this headcanon, you’re precious and deserve someone who’ll be able to take care of you properly.

Warning : violence / Mention of stress / Toxic relationship and behavior / slight nsfw / mention of violence / Spoiler from season 4/manga if you didn't catch up with the manga you might be spoil so be careful

-->if you don’t feel confortable wit those kinds of things don’t read, I want you to feel good on my blog this is a happy place.

Masterlist

We’re going to start with the basic, during a long time you guys got a hate/love relationship

None of you knew if you hate each other or if you were too into each other, like you were always teasing each other, always trying to get on the other’s nerve.

It was kinda cute until it became an obsession for Floch.

He didn’t notice it though. Not at first, he thought that he was genuinely crushing on you. I mean you were pretty hot, you got a big mouth not afraid to tell whatever you had in mind, you were even bold enough to argue with Floch with that damn smirk of yours.

Before he could acknowledge it he was already in his kneel for you (not literally not now though).

But to you, you were just friends. With your life and what was going own outside of the wall you knew it wasn’t the right time to get in a relationship, so even though you were in love with Floch you decided that it wasn’t appropriate to start dating.

But Floch disagreed with you. It was already too late, he was into you. He wanted to be by your side, he was craving for your attention whether it would be by arguing with him, fighting (not in a bad way you know just teasing each other) or even romantic attention.

He wanted to get everything that you might give him.

And he was ready to do everything in order to get what he was craving for.

At first you didn’t mind it, you didn’t even notice how bad the situation was. I mean, you were in love with him and as you got to know him you realized that he went through a lot of things. You were aware that the Shinganshima’s event left a huge mark on his soul and now he was dealing with a trauma that might stay forever.

It pained you to see him sometimes struggling with his dream because he was always dreaming about the death of his friends, the way he almost dies and for nothing. Yeah they got Shinganshima back but now they needed to be strong in order to fight the whole word outside the wall.

He needed to be strong so he wouldn’t live this again, he needed to be strong so no one would be able to touch you. He knew at this point he became addict to you and you were the only who can maintain a sort of serenity around him.

So yeah when it came to Floch you weren’t exactly unbiased, you cared a lot about him, so you couldn’t manage to just straight up and tell him to let go.

And he knows it oh boy he knows and he is not afraid to use it against you.

Especially when it was time to choose your side, would you be a yeagerist or would you stay with Hange ?

He expects you to make the right choice ( aka follows him in case you were wonderin)

But it was more complicated than that, of course you were afraid. Since you’ve realized that your nightmare started because some people outside of the wall (who used to be your boundaries) decided that you were monster who needed to be killed because some of your ancestor made war against them. You weren’t a fool, you were aware that talking won’t be enough, it’s been decades since the outside hated you, but you weren’t ready to use such a powerful and dangerous power (aka the rumbling) against people without being a hundred percent sure there weren’t a way out.

So for now you decided to follow Hange much to Floch’s dismay

Not gonna lie he was ready, I mean he knew everything about you so of course he kinda expected you to not follow him easily (where’s the fun then ?)

Even if he expected you to confront him and not follow him already, he couldn’t help but feel disappointed. I mean why you wouldn’t follow him while all he was doing was fighting for a better word for both of you ? Why wouldn’t you agree with him when he was protecting his people ? Why would you disagree when he was obviously right

So yeah he felt bitterness against you, especially because since you’ve decided to join Hange’s side all you were doing was to confront him about his relationship with Eren. « He is obviously manipulating you ? » « Why are you following him ? I thought he was an ass ? » « We didn’t even try to talk to them how could you be so sure there is no other way ? »

Quickly you came to realize that you couldn’t change his mind which pains you, even though you weren’t ready to be in a relationship for now, you couldn’t help the feeling of emptiness each time you were thinking about him.

Yeah you were missing him, you missed the way you two used to tease each other, you missed his cocky smile each time he was showing off to own some of your precious praise.

But sometimes you swore this man was scaring you, the way his eyes was always on you no matter what (he could have been talking to some of his companion his eyes would remain on you)

Sometimes, you swore that he was following you even though you didn’t have any proof that he was doing it, you just felt it. He was here no matter where you were he was here looking at you from your usual spot to your training spot, you were even starting to think that he was here when you were showering or when you were sleeping.

This sensation was driving you crazy, everyone started to believe that you were a little bit paranoid (yes the man was always looking at you but he told you he was in love so it’s normal right ?)

The feeling became stronger after one of your last confrontation because his behavior (and himself) change brutally :

When you decided to follow Henge-San no matter what, you knew that it would affect your relationship with everyone especially the one you got with Floch. After all he decided to become a yeagarist and to betray everyone in order insure paradis’ safety. In his mind everything made sense, his trauma, all the things he had to go through was because of them, because some people behind the wall decided that paradis was the real danger and needed to be annihilated. What he couldn’t understand was why you hadn’t join him yet ? His goal was noble, he was doing everything to provide you safety. Why were you against him ? Why would you meddle into his plan ? At first, he thought you were playing hard just to amuse him, because you used to love teasing him and while he was enjoying a little opposition coming from you, now that he was about to betray everyone including his superior by changing them into titans he needed to have you by his side. He couldn’t wait anymore, the plan already begun so he needed to convince you to follow him.

That’s why you were here now, in jail behind the bar while Floch was looking at you a frown on his face. No, it was more than that, it was the face you made when you were about to scold your child from acting like a brat. He looked disappointed and quite angry, though you got some ideas why he might be angry you couldn’t however understand why he was so disappointed. After all, you told him that his plan was insane so why was he acting like this ? To be honest you should be the one being angry, he got the nerve to send some rookie from the survey corps find you to arrest you so they could bring you to your jail. You’ve been here since your last argument with Floch and it was like a week ago.

« You know I always knew you were a bad looser but I didn’t expect you to bring me into jail for not being cooperative. Don’t you think it’s a little bit excessive ? Like a LOT »

« Always sassy right Y/N »

« It’s not sassiness at this point it’s just being rational »

« Rational ? You are talking about being rational while being the one who claimed that my plan was full of shit ? »

« I didn’t really say that I just underlined the fact that we still got some cards to play before sending whatever Eren want to send »

« The rambling »

« Yeah whatever that’s not the point »

« It’s definitely the point »

« Absolutely not there is plenty of things to do before even consider sending them titans to kill a whole population »

« A WHOLE POPULATION ? Did you hear yourself y/n ? THEY kill us, THEY were the reason we don’t have a home anymore THEY are the reason so many people died and for what uh ? »

« Not because their government want us dead does it mean the people want our death most of them are probably innocent. There are other way Floch »

« There is no other way y/n the world has to be fix »

« Fix ? Now you are scarring me Floch »

« It doesn’t matter what you think y/n »

« May I ask you why ? »

« Because you’re not leaving this jail »

« I beg your pardon ? »

« Look, here you’re safe from both them and the yeagarist »

« I’m not afraid I’ll kick their ass »

« I won’t take the risk of losing you, so you’re going to stay here all you cute for me yeah ? I Wont be too long I need to work on a little problem then I would be back and you could yell at me as much as you want ok ? I’ll be back »

« No no no Floch look come back OI come back ! I’m not going to stay here you now I’ll find a way out »

« No you won’t nobodies know you’re here I told the yeagarist that you were dead. They won’t look for you, your friends believe you’re dead too. I’m the only person who knows where you are. But it’s okay, it was always about us right ? »

With that he just left your jail, without even a look, all he could was your scream but he didn’t care. The jail was hiding under the military court no one would even think about looking for you here. Besides the wall was thick enough so no one would hear you screaming, for now he decided that you will remain here until he was done saving paradis. But of course, he promised himself to take great care of you so don’t worry.

After this « incident » (aka his way to save you from the trouble outside according to him), his behavior change toward you. You noticed it, he became possessive and rather paranoid when it came to you.

So you might ask what kind of Yandere he is ?

Possessive : I mean he was already possessive before he became the Yandere that he now is, he just lost so many people that now he was afraid that you would be next. So yeah he always makes sure to have his hand on some part to your body mostly your hips or even better holding your hand, since you were attracted to him you let him do his things. But as he falls gradually into darkness, his touch which used to be light touch became more rough. Floch wasn’t holding you anymore he was grabbing you, as if to demonstrate to everyone that he owns you. It wasn’t a mark of affection, but a way for him to illustrate your affiliation to him (as if you were wearing a leash). Speaking of leash, he started to think about it when he notices way too many people was looking at you as if they didn’t understand that you belong to him. And when you two started to be intimate, he was more than ready to mark each inch of your body whether from his teeth, mouth or even from the way he is grabbing at your thigh. It quickly became a habit of him to ask who you belong to especially each time he was giving a rather hard slap from his hips or his hands (because if you think he wouldn’t spank you for being naughty or a brat you’re wrong he loves that) and even though at first you didn’t like the idea of moaning your belonging you quickly discover that it was better for you to just do as he said.

Paranoid : It might because of his trauma from the mission in Shinganshima or because he was more aware about the fact that everyone outside the wall want to erase paradis from the world but he was afraid to loose you. I mean since he joined the survey corps all he has do was losing someone, he lost Erwin, he lost his friends, he lost a part of his mind, he almost lost his life. There is no way he was about to lose you. So yeah as you may notice before, he started by locking you from the world in a jail under the military court after claiming to everyone who wanted to hear it that you were dead. One night he woke up after dreaming that one of the yeagarist would discover you in jail after bringing another prisoner, what if they unlock you ? So after multiple days in jail, without any light, he decided that he couldn’t let you here it was too dangerous, although he claimed to you that he did because he noticed your unhealthy body cause of the lack of light. But since he wasn’t sure if he could trust you enough, he took some handcuff with him so he could link you and him, which made him laugh cause it was as if he put a ring on you. That day he locked you into a house secluded from the world, meaning that you couldn’t reach any city without a horse, it was safe for him and for you and here he was sure no one would ever notice you.

Threatening : Of course, you wouldn’t let him do as he pleased, so some times you tried to kick his ass to steal his horse, or to climb into a tree to help you finding the closest city. You even tried to make him believe you kill yourself so he went completely crazy, screaming, crying so you could knock him you. Unfortunately it never works, and after your failed attempt to leave him he started to threaten you. At first he uses light poison, like he gave you a poison that he mixed on your meal or your drink without you noticing so you were ill during the whole day and you needed to wait like a good s/o that your lovely husband as he calls himself, so he could give you the medicine. Sometimes he even let you believe that he might give you something that will change you into titan like : Do you remember all your officer ? Yeah ? They all drink that famous spinal liquid that change everyone into titan, what if you drank it by accident mh ? Maybe when he gave you food he already mixes your drink with that poison ? Whether it was true or not no one will know, but it works you never attempt to leave him after that.

Violent : I hate to say it, but at some point when dark would entirely cover his mind, he would start being violent against you. Though he would never be something that could kill you, he wanted you to remember that you were living a peaceful live because of him, you were safe because of him. To him you got no reason of being such a brat to him, not when he was giving you everything you wanted. He took care of you, you had no right to be mad at him. So yeah sometimes he had to break your ankle, or maybe your leg so you won’t escape. Sometimes he would strangle you slightly just enough to knock you out. It barely happens because to act like this he needed to be really really angry, like loosing every common sense you know ? So it barely happens but it happens. Your body still have so marks as proof that you shouldn’t get on Floch’s nerve. Despite his physical violence, he tends to be quite violent with his word too so it wouldn’t be a surprise that you’ll break. The emotional amusement in addition with the physical violence would be enough to break anyone so you shouldn’t be ashamed. After all maybe he has been looking for this since the beginning ? Who knows ?

[inumaqi]

top ten tagged by @linkspooky 🍊 explanations under the cut! sorry for rambling xo → rules: name your top ten favourite characters from ten different fandoms, and then tag ten people - @osomanga @kara-suno @anonimarevolts @zeninmaki @wildbishonen @shysheeperz @tkmewthyou @kaldurlenn @joxterism @marshmallowdonutsprinkles

snufkin okay so he’s the only one not from an anime or manga but i had to put him on bc he’s the most important fictional character to me, ever. i grew up watching the moomin cartoons in the 90s and thinking about it instantly calms me down - they used to air the episodes early in the morning when it would still be dark outside: the landscapes were moody and cosy, the characters were so softly spoken and articulate... it’s just peak nostalgia. anyway, snufkin is moomin’s best friend; he returns to moominvalley every year to be with his friends during the spring and says his goodbyes to go adventure again come winter. it upsets moomin when he leaves but snufkin is adamant that quiet and solitude are important and healthy, and it’s not fair to expect him to compromise on his independence - that made a really big impact on me as a kid, especially as someone who never really had their ‘own’ space (twinsies). relationships aren’t weakened by physical distance or time, they’re about communication and understanding. that was important too. i don’t think i realised just how influential it had been until i was an adult but snufkin is an anarchist. he first shows up in the comics when moomin and sniff are talking about opening a bank - he tells them they should plant fruit trees instead. he destroys private property and rescues orphans, he refuses to participate in things that don’t bring him joy. when he’s asked where home is, he replies, “nowhere. or everywhere! it depends how you look at it” - the whole world belongs to him, and the whole world belongs to everyone else too.

yomo renji in general, i like characters that trudge along in the background and do the nitty-gritty work that supports the main story. i like people like that irl too. more than anything else, yomo is desperate to form human connections, even though he’s shackled by self-doubt and self-loathing. he just wants to positively contribute to a community, thinking he’s most useful keeping a quiet eye on people who might need protection/guidance (while still giving them space to grow and act themselves) or foraging for human corpses so that others aren’t in danger or moral anguish doing it for themselves.

bird boy is a total weapon - “the perfect ghoul” - and you’re reminded over and over again but a lot of his growth is about rejecting violence and repurposing his power as something productive that he can use to help the people around him instead of hurting people (the yang to uta’s yin). in the first few chapters, he says he kills humans (he’s a ghoul, humans are food, it’s natural) and yet he’s consistently framed as a scavenger who seeks out ‘roadkill’ [suicide victims] for sustenance, even before coming to anteiku, and implements a system so other people can do the same.

suguru getou i was originally gonna say meg bc i love him but, having just finished The Flashback Arc, i can’t stop thinking about getou and i’m beyond impressed with how akutami has managed to ground him so well, so sympathetically. getou is the sick, warped darkness to the hopeful light that gojou commands but... in an uncomfortable twist, the reverse is true, kind of.

actually, gojou is arrogant and confrontational and hyper individualistic. he’s a dissident. getou is obedient, compassionate, self-aware... he has a sense of social responsibility and passionately believes that his skills should be used to protect those who can’t protect themselves - non-jujutsu sorcerers - and all of the suffering he endures as a result is worth that. idk if others are reading his downfall differently but, from where i’m standing, that overwhelming responsibility never goes away, he doesn’t give up on it - he just starts to view the social landscape differently and begins to see how jujutsu sorcerers are vilified and mistreated in spite of all the good that they do. the ‘weak’ aren’t really weak when they’re able to organise and assert collective power over a minority, and so his sympathies shift.

the nail in the coffin for getou is learning that the hurt and pain could be eradicted from the world by cutting the head of the proverbial snake: non-jujutsu users generate cursed energy, so get rid of non-jujutsu users and cursed energy won’t be generated. it’s all horribly, weirdly rooted in good intentions that weigh him down and misdirect him.  shinazugawa genya i feel like the bond that slowly starts to develop betwen tanjirou, and zenitsu and inosuke (in particular) is nicely foiled by genya’s lonely journey towards becoming a pillar. after losing almost all of his family and having sanemi walk away, genya is angry, antisocial, rude, violent, evasive...

he’s characterised as competitive, as if he hates his peers and wants to leave them in the dust as an act of self-satisfaction, a power fantasy or whenever, but this is a deliberate misdirection to cover for the fact that he’s scrambling to be a pillar so that he can reconnect with his brother and prove to him that he can protect himself; that sanemi doesn’t need to shoulder everything alone like he used to. his entire goal is an act of apology.

and in a story where so many characters are able to hone these exceptional skills, genya is uniquely disadvantaged as the only one who can’t master breathing techniques. rather than having a hero moment and powering up, his need to reconnect with sanemi is so strong that he essentially decides to compromise his humanity and become a kind of monster by ingesting the demons he’s pledged to annihilate. amajiki tamaki i wish i had a a longer explanation for this one but it’s actually super simple: tamaki is a really, really, really good portrayal of a person burdened with severe anxiety. the way he physically carries himself, the way he hides his face, his manner of speaking, his dependency on his mirio, how he interprets compliments as trickery, how he needs to be pushed and pushed and pushed before he’s finally able to release his potential... every single scene with tamaki felt deeply personal when i was reading bnha and i knew exactly what he was supposed to be feeling. shinmon benimaru sometimes good, nice people don’t fit a little friendly mould and i like that benimaru is hostile and rough and antisocial, even with people he cares about. he doesn’t expect anything of people, he doesn’t want them interfering with him, and he wants to help and support them all the same because he believes in community. he’s completely oppositional to the special fire force because he thinks it’s a tool to pursue an ideology rather than to protect people, which is why it’s so important when the eighth are finally able to win his approval - they become the only company the seventh consider allies, and it’s proof that their objectives are righteous. despite his reputation as... kind of a nuisance, his skill is acknowledged by everyone and he’s universally regarded as the strongest fire soldier there is. in spite of his antisocial attitude, he agrees that it’s important to share that with younger fire soldiers - he’s incredibly patient and understanding with them, helps them to individually adapt. the way he (and others in company seven) operate in contrast to the other companies when fighting infernals is really cool to me for two reasons: (1) it provides a commentary on how cultures and traditions often struggle to survive when they’re systematically (forcefully) replaced through power and wealth - although the subtext is a little troubling because it’s unclear whether ōkubo is conflating multiculturalism with globalisation which, uh, big nope; and (2) philosophically speaking, the approach to death is interesting. where the other companies essentially perform last rites and offer absolution to the deceased, benimaru personally takes responsibility - at the request of the people in his district - for sending them off in huge public display, kind of like a festival intending to celebrate their life. i think it speaks to how profoundly he values life. akihiko kaji i liked akihiko from the beginning because he’s stoic and introspective and also excitable and dumb. he’s a people watcher and waits for opportunities to softly guide uenoyama and mafuyu when they’re quietly crying out for help but doesn’t interfere any more than he thinks is necessary because he knows they can make their own way to where they need to go. i liked akihiko even more when he got really fucking messy. his relationship with ugetsu is sweet and it’s incredibly ugly and unhealthy because they both fail utterly to communicate with one another - they’re both to blame for avoiding and hurting each other, and i think that’s a really normal issue that people find difficult to overcome. i’m super interested (and really nervous) to see how his relationship with haruki develops. he’s done some horrible things to haruki and i want him to be accountable for those things and have them affect their relationship in a realistic way.

tanigaki genjirou one thing i really, really love about golden kamuy is the way noda satoru incorporates the importance of minority cultures into the story, and tanigaki’s apparent abandonment of his matagi heritage is really beautifully written. matagi hunting traditions shaped his life as a young man, it’s how he was able to really assimilate to the people around him and form relationships and - without getting too spoilery - he divorces himself from it all when he’s overcome by grief and hatches a plan for revenge against the person responsible. so, by allowing himself to surrender to negative feelings and thoughts instead of seeking support and learning to heal from what happened, he becomes a total shadow of himself. 

makimura takeshi i know i’ve gushed about it before but i can’t properly explain just how incredible it felt seeing an asexual character in manga dialogue about being asexual, and devils’ line does it twice. the reason i’m so attached to makimura in particular is because he doesn’t seem to have fully figured it out - and he’s kinda... comfortable with that. he wants to be with someone and he wants to be monogamous but he can’t understand why he doesn’t feel sexual desire towards her; he knows his feelings aren’t platonic but doesn’t know whether they can really be called romantic either.

not to go dark mode but i very vividly remember just how lonely and horrifying it was battling with those uncertainties when i was a teenager, thinking i was broken because i didn’t have Normal Human Feelings and needed to be fixed. i was so worried about it that i thought about all the boys i knew, picked the one i thought was the nicest and actively tried to develop a crush on him. it was dumb as fuck but, ten years later, i realise it was really desperate and sad too. i forced myself to have ~my first kiss~ (it was horrible) because i felt like i was getting left behind and i think i would’ve put myself in worse situations as i got older if i hadn’t suffered with such bad social anxiety.

i hadn’t really thought too much about a lot of this stuff for yeaaars but it all came flooding back when i was reading devils’ line. it was bittersweet bc i was remembering all of those shitty feelings but also watching this character grapple with those same questions and go: i don’t know yet and that’s not weird, let’s just grow with it. i still don’t totally know whether i’m ace or aro or bi, or whatever, but i’m trying to be okay with just... not knowing.

misora shuuji anyway, devils’ line isn’t actually a manga with a specific focus on sexuality and gender but shimanami tasogare is and all of the characters are written beautifully. if you haven’t read it yet... then why haven’t you read it yet? misora is only about twelve years old and watching them battle with their growing pains is really compelling - they’re closeted but, through the lounge, they have somewhere to explore their gender and all the questions they have about it. they’re amab and present as traditionally feminine wrt clothes, wigs, makeup, etc. but can’t quite tell if they see themselves as a girl, a boy or non-binary.

with the onset of puberty and anxieties about physical changes to their body, misora’s story puts a lot of emphasis on the pressure they face to just ‘make up their mind’ about something that’s actually incredibly complex and doesn’t have any easy answers. they snap and shout and get upset, especially when tasuku (the protag) tries to push them into a corner because he wants a concrete label or identity he can attach to misora, even though space is exactly what misora needs.

[truisticrhino28]

Twilight

Written by TruisticRhino28

Prologue:

It is the year 2463 BBY. A heated conflict rages on between the Dark Council and the Jedi Order, the Imperials and the Republic. One man, on the twilight of light and dark, stands poised to destroy everything…

 Grandmaster of the Jedi Order, Garro Selenus was seen as one of the most respected people in the entire Republic and the wisest Jedi the Order had seen in centuries. Meditating in his chambers, he fell over on the floor as he received a terrible vision: One man, whose identity was all to familiar to Garro, was going to obliterate the entire galaxy in his own destruction.

 Leader of the Dark Council on Dromund Kaas, Darth Necro had a reputation for being ruthless to his enemies, and decisive in his choices in war. He wanted nothing more than to see the Jedi Order destroyed. Suddenly, he received a vision: Someone familiar to the fearsome Dark Lord of the Sith was going to cause chaos galaxy-wide because of his own actions, someone who could be used to the Sith’s advantage.

 Chapter 1: Visions of Destruction:

Grandmaster Garro Selenus was meditating, contemplating the disturbing vision he’d had about the man who would destroy the galaxy. He was deeply perturbed by this vision, and wondered if any others in the order had felt one like it, if any vision at all. He summoned his apprentice, a male Cathar named Rylo Amaska. Rylo entered the chambers, bowed with respect, and asked, “I sense you are troubled master. What seems to be bothering you?”

“Have you experienced any visions recently?”, asked Garro.

“No Master I have not”, replied Rylo. “What sort of vision did you experience that troubled you?”

“I saw… death… and destruction and chaos sowed across the galaxy all because of the actions of one man.”

“Who master?”, questioned Rylo.

“A man who I have not been associated with for some time, yet a man who has caused trouble of this sort in the past.”

“What could possibly be done about this master?”, asked Rylo in great concern.

“Nothing as of yet. But there is something you can do: I will need you to scour the Order for anyone who has experienced visions like this, and if anyone has, bring them to me.”

“Where will you go Master?”, asked Rylo.

“I have to see someone, an old friend, if you will”, replied Garro.”

Suddenly, Garro was hit with another vision: He realized his mortal enemy, Darth Necro, ruler of the Dark Council, had experienced the same vision as he.

In concern, Rylo rushed to his Master yelling, “Master! Master, are you alright?”.

“Yes, I am fine”, responded Garro, “But this situation just became far, far more dangerous”.

 Chapter 2: Visions of Glory and Chaos:

Darth Necro was pacing in his private quarters, pondering the vision he’d experienced about the man sowing chaos across the galaxy, when another vision hit him, causing him to fall to his knees in pain: With great ire, he realized that his mortal enemy, Grandmaster Garro Selenus of the Jedi Order, had received the same vision. He realized his ultimate goals of using the chaos the man sowed from his vision would become much more difficult with the Jedi in the mix. After pondering the visions he’d experienced, and figuring out how each sect of Force-users would fit into his plan, Necro summoned a meeting of the Dark Council. Besides himself, there were 4 other members: Darth Oppress, Necro’s former master, as it turned out, Darth Aggress, who had a reputation for being the Councilor that was the quickest to action, Darth Fury, who, on the contrary, had a reputation as the Councilor that would fuel his rage and hatred and focus it on a single target, and finally, Darth Strife, who had a reputation for killing in the most creative ways possible. Once all of the Councilors had taken their seat, Necro began,

“Welcome my friends, to this meeting of the Council. Today I wish to discuss a vision I have experienced.”

“You have experienced many visions in the past, none of which have come even close to fruition. You understand if I have doubts about acting on your vision”, stated Darth Fury.

“If it shall bring the slow, painful, obliteration of the Jedi, I say we act on this immediately!!”, shouted Darth Aggress.

“I think we must consider whether to act upon the vision after we actually heard what the contents of the vision are, keeping in mind that the Force is always in motion, so the details may or may not be accurate”, stated Darth Strife, who also had a reputation for being the wisest of the Dark Council members.

“I actually experienced 2 visions, though both are very closely related. The first vision involves a singular man, who is a nexus in the Force with perfect control of both the light and dark sides of the Force, but is losing control of his power, and my vision showed me this could be used to sow chaos across the galaxy and allow us to instill order the way we always intended. The second vision is much more irritating and presents severe complications to the plan: In this vision, I learned the Grandmaster of the Jedi Order also received the same vision I had.”

“This is most curious, a nexus in the force, a man with perfect control of both sides of the Force. Did your vision happen to explain why this man was beginning to annihilate himself?”, asked Darth Oppress.

“No, it did not, though the explanation seems quite obvious. If someone that powerful was also a nexus in the Force, it would be easy to assume that, with time, the sheer amount of power would overwhelm one man”, explained Necro.

“Did your vision give us an identity, a planet of location, other pertinent information?”, asked Darth Oppress.

“I can assume that the planet was one named Mortis, a powerful nexus in the Force that not many actually know about, much less speak of. It is located on the bare fringes of this galaxy, almost in another galaxy entirely”, answered Necro.

“What about a name?”, questioned Darth Fury.

“It did not”, lied Necro.

“Well then, this is not nearly enough to act on. We simply do not possess enough information, plus the inclusion of the Jedi complicates the matter on a new level entirely”, stated Darth Fury, slightly irritated.

“Calm yourself, Fury. You are not one to haste so easily. I think my curiosity overwhelms my knowledge that there is too little information in this matter”, responded Darth Strife, who had remained quiet while Necro was explaining the details of his visions. “I propose, however, that we put this matter to a vote”.

“I say no, because I do not feel like this Council possesses sufficiently actionable information”, stated Darth Fury.

“I, of course, say yes”, stated Necro in an obvious tone.

“I say yes! Any chance to crush the Jedi into oblivion is most welcome”, expressed Aggress very clearly.

“While I would normally agree to explore the curiosity of the whole matter, pragmatism dominates my mind in this matter, and I must agree with Darth Fury in this instance”, stated Oppress.

“Darth Strife, that leaves you with the deciding vote”, said Necro.

“I agree with Necro”, Strife said calmly.

“Then it is the verdict of this Council that we investigate this matter. I adjourn this meeting of the Dark Council.”

  Chapter 3: An Old Friend:

Garro left the Jedi Temple and went to meet with an old friend in a bar in the depths of Coruscant. He was meeting someone he’d remained in contact with throughout the entirety of his childhood and adult life, even as a Jedi: Markus Zamast. If there was anyone, even a non-Jedi, who could help Garro better ponder his visions, it was him. Garro entered the bar, and noticing Markus in a secluded corner booth, walked to join him.

“No drink?”, asked Garro in a joking tone, because as long as he’d known Markus, Markus had always loved a good drink.

“Nah, I’m trying to go sober. Impress my wife.”

“How are you, old friend?”, asked Markus. “You look troubled about something. Come, have a seat.”

“I’m troubled by many things, Markus, I’m the head Jedi for goodness sakes.”

“Well then, tell me what’s bothering you.”

“I had a vision. One of a man that I knew, but also didn’t know at the same time. This man caused the destruction of the entire galaxy.”

“That does seem pretty bad. Do you have any clue as to where this event took place, or a name of this person?”

 “It is on a planet named Mortis, a powerful nexus in the Force that is on the barest fringes of this galaxy. I do not know the name of the man.”

“I would try to stop it. Of course, I am not a Jedi and don’t understand the Force, but, if it means saving the entire galaxy from certain destruction, I would certainly take that chance.

“You’re right. Thanks, old friend.”

And with that, Garro exchanged goodbyes with Markus, and left the bar to return to his quarters in the Temple, pondering how exactly he would save the galaxy from almost certain destruction.

 Chapter 4: A Nexus in the Force:

Rigar Levosio was meditating, when suddenly he was thrown out of his meditation in horror when he realized his doom was impending. No. The split. It’s finally begun.

“I must begin making preparations. My time has come.” Rigar Levosio was a nexus in the Force, a point in the Force incredibly strong beyond any normal Force-users comprehension. He was a rare anomaly in this category though, because he had perfect control of both of the light and dark sides of the Force, and adhered equally to both codes. However, as he had realized as he’d been thrown out of meditation, he was beginning to fall apart, due to the fact that both of his light and dark personalities, Grandmaster Garro Selenus of the Jedi Order, and Darth Necro, leader of the Dark Council in the Sith Empire, had both received visions of his impending doom, though they had both previously existed privately with no knowledge they were a part of him. He lived on the planet Mortis, a planet that was also a nexus in the Force that resided on the bare fringes of the galaxy. He would need to initiate a ritual in the center of the planet that would disintegrate himself and subsequently the entire planet, but would stop the overloading Force energies within himself. However, if his worst nightmare came true, and his personalities converged, the energies inside himself would gain strength and overload his person, causing an overwhelming explosion that would obliterate all life in the known galaxy, which he could not let happen. He was not incredibly worried however, as he’d lived in isolation on Mortis for decades, and no one else, as far as he knew, and he knew a vast amount, that no one else knew the location of Mortis. Entering one of the planet’s many extensive cave systems, he made his way down into the planet’s core to obliterate himself.

 Chapter 5: March to Mortis:

Darth Necro left his chambers in Kaas City and headed to the main tactical center of the Empire’s army, where the army’s top generals and fleet admirals were meeting to discuss the assault on Mortis. As he entered the chambers, the soldiers and officers bowed to him in respect. There were 2 fleet admirals, 3 army commanders, Darth Oppress, and Darth Aggress. He began the meeting saying, “The time has come at last, my friends, for us to, at long last, conquer the galaxy through ultimate destruction. This operation will be known as: Operation Chaos.”

“When will we be able to slaughter the Jedi?”, asked Aggress eagerly.

“With the plan, physically slaughtering the Jedi will not be at all necessary, my friend.”

“What is the plan exactly?”, asked one of the army commanders.

“A very just question. We will march to Mortis and obliterate the entire planet, down to the core, where I have foreseen the ritual will take place.”

Garro Selenus was meditating in his chambers when his apprentice entered saying, “Master, the others are ready for you.”

Upon hearing that, Garro stood up, left his chambers and entered the Jedi Council chambers to discuss the plan for Mortis.

“Here is the plan”, Garro explained after greeting the other Masters. “We are going to go, stop the Empire’s forces, and hopefully peacefully end the destruction so no lives are taken.”

“And what if a peaceful resolution cannot be reached?”, asked one of the Masters.

“That would be an undesirable situation, however, if it comes down to that, then we must stop the source before it takes any lives.”

 Chapter 6: The Fate of the Galaxy:

Rigar was very close to the core of the planet, when he fell to the ground with a grim realization: he was going to have company. After realizing this, he hastened his approach toward the core. Upon reaching the core, he began installing the equipment that would siphon his Force energies out of him. The machinery, calling upon ancient Rakatan designs, had been designed by the Rakatans to either infuse or take away a being’s ability to use the Force. In Rigar’s case, it would be used to take away and annihilate his Force energies, and therefore collapsing his physical form, because the Force was what kept him alive. However, if he was swayed toward the light, all sense of evil would be extinguished. The Sith, the Empire, any notion of anyone ever doing anything bad would perish. This would completely destabilize the galaxy, because without conflict, life would stagnate and nothing would ever be accomplished. If he was swayed towards the Dark, chaos would reign and no sense of order would exist anywhere. Rigar’s best hope, he realized would be to accelerate the ritual, however, it held dangerous consequences if anything went wrong. He stepped into the machine, and began screaming in agony as his Force energies were siphoned away and destroyed.

Meanwhile, Darth Necro’s forces landed on Mortis, and Necro, sensing the ritual was taking place in the planet’s core, sent all of his troops into the extensive and followed with Aggress and Oppress close behind.

Garro landed on Mortis with his apprentice and fellow masters and Markus Zamast. The other masters had been very skeptical and dubious of Garro’s decision to bring Markus on the mission, but Garro had insisted that Markus would prove instrumental in turning the tide in their favor. They headed into the cave systems where Garro sensed the ritual would take place.

Both Jedi and Sith entered the very core of the planet, and immediately began fighting each other. Darth Aggress, ever the extreme brute in battle, rushed in brazenly and began murdering Jedi Masters left, right, and center, and ultimately dealt a huge blow to Jedi before being slain by Rylo. Eventually, after all the fighting was over, only 5 remained: Darths Necro and Oppress, Garro, Rylo, and Markus. They each approached Rigar’s machine, neither side entering combat with the other.

Darth Necro began before the Jedi were given a chance yelling, “Rigar! This entire ritual is pointless! You must channel your hatred, use the chaos to destroy our enemies and restore order in the name of the Sith!”

“Do not bear ear to his lies!”, shouted Garro in response. “There is no emotion, there is peace.”

“Peace is a lie! There is only passion!”, Necro cried. “Use your passion to gain strength, your strength to gain power, your power to gain victory and break the restrictive chains of the light! Only then shall the Force truly free you!”

“Do not listen to the vile deceptions of the Sith!”, Garro called out. “They would only use you to cause death, destruction, and chaos, only to impose their order upon all. Remember: There is no chaos, there is harmony. Let harmony exist between all things, and let nothing be tainted by the evil of the Sith!”

All throughout the seemingly endless yelling by Necro and Garro, Rigar was in the greatest pain he’d ever felt. They are so selfish and small-minded in their goals, the do not realize the truth: balance must exist! They only believe the antiquated ideals of their own sides. There is no hope for the survival of either Jedi or Sith. Rigar barely managed to get out, “Don’t you realize you idiots? Balance must exist! The Sith are so small-minded and selfish and only follow their own agendas. And Jedi act as the do-gooders, the perfect beings of justice and prosperity. I am trying to maintain that balance, and right now I alone hold the fate of the galaxy within me! Balance must exist! There is no good without evil! There must be chaos and order!!” All the while, a pull within Necro and Garro was causing excruciating pain for both of them. The pull they felt, was at the core of their beings, their own light and dark Force energies. For a brief time, it caused Garro and Necro’s alignments to switch, causing Garro to briefly fall to the Dark Side and Necro to turn to the light. A dark-turned Garro charged toward his apprentice, and knocked him out cold. Markus, who was not afraid at this point, said, “Garro! Stop!”, right as Garro was about to plunge his massive double-bladed lightsaber into Rylo’s unconscious body. “This is not you. You are not yourself.”

“And what would you know about me?”, Garro asked in a cruel voice.

“Garro, we have been inseparable friends for over 50 years. You are not yourself. Do not let yourself become so engrossed in hatred.”

“You. You have been nothing but a detriment to me, old friend. And now you shall die.” Garro then proceeded to Force-choke Markus in a fierce grip that threatened to kill him.

Meanwhile, Necro begins dueling his old master, Darth Oppress.

“Your evil has paraded for far too long, my former Master”, claimed Necro.

“Is this a joke?”, asked Oppress in complete disbelief. “You are Sith.” And with that, Oppress cast a Sith spell that switched the personalities of Necro and Garro back into place.

Markus fell to the ground, and, after getting his bearings, headed over to Garro to check on them. “Garro, are you okay?”

“Yes, Markus, I am fine.”

Upon hearing that, Markus breathed a sigh of relief, and Rylo woke up, having no memory of Garro knocking him out. Markus thought that was for the best.

Meanwhile, Rigar’s Force energies were almost completely siphoned and destroyed, and his physical form was beginning to collapse. Necro, noticing this, began concentrating his Force energies to siphon over the dark energies that remained in Rigar to himself, with Oppress supporting him. Garro began using the same tactic, with Rylo supporting him and Markus watching from the sidelines. As a result of this, Rigar suffers even greater pain, as he feels his remaining Force energies converging between light and dark in a loop of constant switching, which in turn affects his mind: He is a Sith one second, a Jedi in the next, and himself again after that, and the cycle repeats. Eventually, Rigar gets to a point where his mind is the only part of him intact, and his mind overloads, leaving just a pure canvas of white Force energies…

 Chapter 7: Outcomes:

Garro wakes up, cautious of his surroundings, but realizes that he is back in his quarters in the Jedi temple, and a brief meditation makes him realize that all evil has been extinguished from the galaxy, and he then realizes that nothing can ever go wrong, and there is eternal peace. At first, this seems well, but everything in the galaxy enters a complete and infinite state of stagnation, and without conflict, nothing is accomplished. Garro realizes this, and begins to go insane. He thinks to himself, it’s all happening like Rigar said. I have been such a fool.  What happens now? What do I do? What is happening to me?!?! And then all is white again.

Necro awakes in his chambers on Dromund Kaas. He has no memory of Mortis and its outcome. He rushes to speak to Darth Oppress. “Oppress”, he asks, “I do not remember the outcome of Mortis. What happened there? Did we win?”

“Yes, we won. The Empire instituted galaxy-wide order almost instantly, however, very soon after that, the Empire lost its hold and we are now warring against chaos of all kinds in every part of the galaxy. We continually suffer losses, but we will persevere. That is, and always has been, the true strength of the Sith.”

“Yes, thank you Oppress. That really helps jog my memory.”

And with that, Necro returned to his chambers. He was meditating on what Rigar had said when he remembered what Rigar had said about balance: There cannot be exclusively light or dark. Over the ensuing weeks, more and more reports come in of the Empire’s devastating losses. Eventually, the public starts riots, and the Imperials are unable to stop the sheer amount of chaos building. And then, it is all white yet again.

Garro wakes with a start. What an obscene nightmare, he thought. Just then, his apprentice and Markus entered his chambers and both sighed great sighs of relief.

“Thank goodness your awake, Garro”, began Markus. “You’ve been asleep for months, and we weren’t sure you’d ever wake up. What were you dreaming about?”, he asked.

“I dreamt of many horrible, horrible things that thankfully were not real, and were simply illusions put into my head by the Sith.” But in the back of his mind, Garro could not ever push images of pure, white nothingness out of his subconscious, where the twilight reigns eternal. 

[thaticychica]

Love, Guns and Roses (Mafia AU!) Chapter 1

Summary: After your mother passed away, your father wasn’t able to pay his debt and you were forced to marry the son of the NCT clan’s boss - Kim Do Young, in order to make up for your father’s mistakes. And now you’ll have to deal with your future husbands and the NCT clans business. 

Genre: ...angst, I guess?

Words: 2.3k

„I know I am probably the last person on earth you want to talk to right now, but we have to get going soon.”, a deep yet soft voice spoke when a man opened the door of your bedroom, while watching you from afar.

“I’ll be ready.”, you said, your back facing him.

How pitiful you looked – all curled up in your own yet so unfamiliar bed.

Your bedroom was filled with darkness, not even the slightest ray of sunshine to be seen.

Your hair was a mess, your eyes puffy and your face wet from all the tears that were rolling down.

“Okay… We’re leaving in about half an hour. Meet me at the entrance.”, he half-whispered, glancing at your fragile form one last time, before closing the door – leaving you to your somber bedroom and loneliness.

You took a deep breath and sat up, taking in the room, that was going to be a part of your new life.

You looked to your left, where a sinfully expensive, long dress hung on a hook attached to your new closet and then down to the floor, where a pair of fancy high heels stood, waiting to be worn – “those are going to kill my feet“, you said to yourself.

If you were to determine the worst day of your entire life, it would surely be this one – Today.

Not the kind of “ugh-this-is-the-worst-day-of-my-life-day”, no this is literally as worse as it gets.

>>>      //         Flashback       //

“Why would you do that to me, dad?!”, you almost broke down in tears every time you opened your mouth, trying to protest.

“Darling, please listen to me. Look. I know it’s unfair and I am sorry, that you have to make up for my mistakes, but we do not have another choice.”, your dad said trying to soothe you somehow, when he saw your puffy eyes.

“Dad. Please don’t make me do that. Please don’t make me marry him!”, you begged him for what feels the 100th time today and that’s the exact moment you felt your tears finally rolling down your rosy cheeks.

“I am sorry, I truly am. But if you don’t marry him, they will have no mercy. They might even kill me and do even worse things to you.”

“Why can’t you just pay him the money back somehow!? Ask for more time!”, you tried to argue, even though you knew it would be no use.

“I already did that one too many times. You know the NCT clan’s reputation, you know how much of a big deal they are. They are the most powerful Mafia Clan.”, he was right.

The NCT Clan was one of the most powerful, influential and biggest Mafia Clans. Nobody who was right in their mind would try to mess with them. There were only few Clans that were nearly as mighty and feared as the NCT Clan. 

A Clan feared by most of the other Mafia Clans, as they were known as merciless and cruel. Many of the other Clans tried to compete with them, attack them or even destroy them but all of them failed.

There is only one Clan, that’s considered as equal – the EXO Clan.

Both the NCT and the EXO Clan have many allies however they also have just as many enemies, who try to hunt them down.

Due to the enormous rivalry between the NCT and EXO Clan, both of them have the exact same goal: To annihilate the other.

The mutual desire to destroy each other has led their simple rivalry to a kind of domestic war – a war of the naughty yet subtle kind.

Your family was merely a small yet well off Mafia Clan – you were just little fishes in a big sea full of sharks.

Your childhood was fulfilling – you had everything you desired and even more. A beautiful, big house, a maid, thousands of dresses and so many toys, you could barely count them. Your family and your parents showered you with love – there was only one thing that you’ve longed for more than anything else.

A normal life – visiting a school, having friends you could hang out with afterwards and everything else that comes with it.

Instead you had a home teacher and some cousins your age that would come by every few months. As years went by, you’ve learned to accept this way of life – at least you had your loving parents.

However, the day your mother died in a horrible car accident, everything went wrong – your family went bankrupt, your father became more careless with the little money you had left and here you were.

Forced to marry some strange son of a Mafia-Boss you’ve never seen in your life, sold to the NCT Clan, like a cow back in the days.

“So you really want me to marry some strange, old man!? Someone who probably killed a whole lot of people!? You seriously want your only daughter to spend the rest of her life with a murderer!?”

“I know you’re scared. If I were you, I would be too. But I met Do Young. He is a really nice, well behaved and honorable man. He will treat you just right, I promise. Also, he just turned 23, so he isn’t even that much older than you.”

“Dad! I am 18 years old and I’ve never even been in a relationship, because you…Wait. Did you… No way.”, the moment you heard yourself speaking these words out lout, it felt like everything you believed in fell apart in this very moment.

You finally realized it.

You finally understood. You finally saw everything clear.

All these years your father kept you from having contact to the outside world.

He isolated you completely, as if you would break if anyone touched you.

Like a porcelain doll.  

But it wasn’t because he was afraid of you getting hurt.

It was because he promised the innocent you, to a son of a Mafia-Boss in order to pay back your father’s debts.

“Darling, please. It’s not what you think it is… I am sorry…”

“Please tell me you didn’t keep me isolated from the outside world, because you promised them, that I would marry their son, when I turn old enough to get engaged.”, even though you already knew his answer, you couldn’t help but asking – not wanting to believe your father would do something this unfair to you.

“Please, forgive me. I was so scared, you were so young and your mother… Your mother objected this plan of mine, nonetheless I was able to convince her. I really thought I could pay him back before you were going to turn 18 and I made her believe me... When your mother died, we didn’t have any money left to pay the funeral and I again borrowed money from the head of the NCT Clan…”

“So, you purposely locked me up at home all my life!? And even worse – you made one of the most important decisions of my life, instead of letting me decide who I want to spend the rest of my life with! Shouldn’t you, as my father, want me to marry someone I love!?”, you still couldn’t believe any of this – it’s like the man you knew, isn’t the same man standing right in front of you.

“What I wish for you or you wish yourself don’t matter anymore! You need to understand what’s important. And right now, your only priority should be your and my safety! This is not something you or I can argue with – the decision is made.

You are going to marry Kim Do Young – or else we both are dead! That is my last word.”

>>>      //        End of flashback        //

After you had change into your new, glamourous dress, fixed your face and hair, you took a last deep breath, while starring at your reflection in the mirror.

You were brought to the NCT Clan’s mansion this morning – your father didn’t even bother to escort you there – you were all by yourself, when one of the NCT Clan’s guards led you to the Boss’ office to introduce you to the Boss himself and of course – your fiancé, Kim Do Young.

And to officially announce your engagement to all of the Mafia Clans, a celebration party was going to be held this evening – they clearly weren’t planning on wasting time.

You took small steps, going down the hallway – as if walking slowly was going to change anything.

You could see Do Young standing at the entrance – wearing a luxurious, black suit.

He did look stunning – as much you hate to admit, you couldn’t deny it.

He was handsome, tall, well built and unlike his cold and stern gaze – he had the most beautiful and cutest eyes you’ve ever seen.

As soon as his ears registered the clicking sound of your high heels on the floor, he lifted his gaze and he spoke: “You’re here. You look beautiful (Y/N)…”

“Thank you…”, you mumbled shy, unsure whether he was being sincere, or trying to be polite. Anyway – how could he say that so casually even though you literally just met?

This whole time he acted like this was no big deal for him.

“This guy is Johnny– he is my and from now on also your personal bodyguard. He is of our most talented and loyal men. I trust him with my life and that is why I entrust him with the duty to protect you.”, he explained pointing at the extremely tall man next to him, while Johnny gave you a heartwarming and bright smile.

“Nice to meet you (Y/N). I know this whole situation must be terrifying and confusing but being a part of the NCT Clan, isn’t as bad as you probably think. You’ll see.”, Johnny spoke with reassuring words and somehow these words seem to be calming to your fragile heart, you just couldn’t suppress the subtle smile forming on your lips.

“Wow – look at you. So you actually cansmile, little lady.”, Johnny teased, while knocking his elbow against Do Young’s shoulder.

Before another word can be spoken, the loud sound of the horn of the luxurious limousine in front of entrance gate made all of you jump.

“Well, it seems we have to get going.”, the giant laughed, while turning around to make his way to the car.

While Do Young only nodded, you lower your head – the nervousness slowly overwhelming your body.

“Let’s go (Y/N).”, Do Young announced while gently reaching out for you to take his hand, like a real gentleman.

You immediately complied to his action and took his surprisingly warm, soft hand and like this he led you to the black limousine.

After helping you to climb into the car, he took the seat next to you and soon you felt the car starting to move.

The first few minutes of your drive, no words were spoken and both of you were staring outside the windows. With every little stop, your heart beat faster, in fear of finally arriving at the party – every single of the most powerful Clans were invited.

Every ally. Every enemy. A herd of dangerous men were going to be there.

Were you really going to survive this party?

“You remember the plan?”, Do Young asked, breaking the silence.

“I do. I only speak when somebody is specifically talking to me. No sharing of personal information. And most importantly – nobody is allowed to know about our ‘arrangement’.”, you repeat the rules the Boss of the NCT Clan taught you earlier today.

“Good. What else?”

“Also, we have to act like we’ve known each other for a long time. Act like we’re in love, right?”

“Basically, yes. And in order to make people believe us, I… need to touch you, somehow. Like holding your hand or waist. We’ll also need to kiss at least once – I am going to warn you though before I do anything.”

“Okay…”, you gulp nervously, which doesn’t go unnoticed by Do Young – he was sensing anxiety this whole time.

He knew you’d be scared of everything going on and scared of him – after all you’ve never been in a situation like this and you didn’t even know him one bit.

You were all by yourself when you arrived – shaking like crazy and he saw your eyes brimming with tears. And he just felt so bad for you – you looked so fragile, so small– it made him wanting, to protect you even more. Even though he wasn’t comfortable with this arrangement at all, he was more concerned for you. 

Imagining how lonely, hurt and afraid you must’ve felt…

When the car came to a final halt, Do Young took the chance, to tell you everything, he’s been wanting to tell you.

“Listen (Y/N). I don’t want you to be scared of me. I have no intentions of harming you in any way. I am not the kind of man who gains joy out of hurting or abusing women. I know, right now, you have no reason to trust me in any way. You don’t know me, I am just a stranger to you and on top of that, I am the son of a cruel Mafia Boss. But I want you to know, that I want you to be safe. That is why, I need you to tell me whenever you feel unwell, if someone tries to harm you or if you feel scared. Can you do that? Will you try to trust me?”, somehow his words made you feel better. So much better, so much safer.

Although barely know him, you were able to feel the sincerity in his words, his eyes and his gestures.

Maybe he lied to you, maybe not.

Maybe you were naïve, maybe not.

Maybe you were just so incredibly desperate to have someone by your side, maybe not.

Anyways you were going to try.

“…Okay. I’ll try, Do Young. I’ll try to have trust in you.”

---------------------

...so this is my very first mafia AU! and also the first writing I ever uploaded here. I hope you guys like it :))

[metalchick19-blog]

The Bowers Gang: Ship #10 - Patrick Hockstetter

Request: Hi! I’d like to request a ship post for Patrick( mostly cause I’m a guy and he doesn’t care) I’m 5’6, short blond hair, blue eyes. I wear aviator glasses and I dress mostly in pastels. I’m very friendly and charismatic goody two shoes at first and then when you get to know me I’m a massive trash mouth that never fucking shuts up. I’m super impulsive, and just a stubborn dumbass all round. I make no bones telling people how I feel or getting In fights. I fear nothing physical, only ghosts.

You started off as just another one of the many guys that Patrick fucks around with

Hockstetter legitimately has the longest list of male booty calls ever compiled (i.e. he’s a playboy, regardless of gender), and you were just floating around in that vast sea of meaningless sex for the first few months of knowing him

... Which changed the second he keyed in to your double-sided nature 

Patrick had already planned on taking things farther with you than with most other guys (because he was insanely turned on by your straight-laced, “good boy” image)...

... but officially decided he needed to own you the second he saw you drop that charismatic shit and get angry with someone 

* Partly because your impulsive hot-headedness reminded him of Henry, but we’ll sweep that little tibit under the rug *

Essentially just loved the fact that you were ready to throw down at the drop of a hat (meaning you’re crazy as shit on the inside) even though you come off as someone who’s easy to dominate initially 

Basically became Hockstetter’s new goal in life to see how long it would take him to “break” that strong-willed side of you, and make you just as obedient as the “good little girls” he dates 

In other words, he wants to annihilate your strength of spirit and alpha/omega the shit out of you 

Have fun with that fucked up relationship dynamic 

Makes fun of how you dress 24/7

Could not be avoided 

You’ve literally heard every prep joke in the book within the first 2 months of your relationship, and I can assure you they’ll never stop (”What’s the matter, guy - daddy take the keys to your favorite Lincoln last night?” *Highly judgmental Hockstetter cackle*)

Tries to introduce weird pet names for you on a regular basis (he’s called you “cum dumpster,” “right hand,” and “lady killer” completely out of the blue), but you veto most of them after the first time you hear them

Which is good, because it would be kind of horrifying to hear him call a person “cum dumpster” more than once, and he only thought up “lady killer” to get on your nerves 

Calls you “handsome” sometimes when he’s trying to be manipulative, but, for the most part, just sticks with your name now because you’re not about the Hockstetter brand of creativity (though “right hand” keeps reappearing no matter how many times you say stop)

Sits next to you whenever you have a class together and gives you hand-jobs under the desk (during movies, lectures, etc.)

Sometimes makes sure you get called on right as you’re about to cum so he can watch you suffer as you try to answer a question mid-orgasm (*cue ultra-satisfied Hockstetter grin*)

Always the top in bed

Always. 

Patrick has never bottomed, and never will, regardless of the guy he’s with - just be aware.

Not even willing to do it once, because, in his mind, it’s your job to moan and writhe around on a dick - not his

I.e. Hockstetter will always be in the power position. Asking him to do anything other than that is pointless, and will earn you nothing but a particularly mean-spirited laugh designed to make you feel stupid for asking 

... And while we’re discussing the power position...

... the day you start a relationship with Patrick is the day you stop being able to sit down comfortably.

Yeah. It’s that good.

Never takes you around the guys, because even though all of them have an unspoken understanding that Patrick is “sexually fluid,” the understanding is unspoken for a reason

Meaning that Henry can only ignore the fact that Patrick is into guys as long as he doesn’t make it obvious

If he does (i.e. by actually bringing you/any of the dudes he’s fucking with around the guys), he’ll be ejected from the gang immediately (because homophobia + tough guy image + general dick behavior) 

This doesn’t come up a lot as a problem though, because you’ve seen the way Henry loses it on gay guys (aka: guys Henry thinks are gay, who are probably not actually gay)

It’s just common sense that, when it comes to the gang, you’re safer at a distance

Patrick accentuates your height difference often by setting his drinks on your head, putting his elbow on your head and leaning on you, etc.

Mostly just because he knows it bugs you, and legit gets a hard-on whenever you start to get mad (hence why you always fuck after fights) 

* Warning - some descriptions of violence ahead *

Because you don’t have a problem confronting people when it suits you (and because Hockstetter is a level-10 dick), you and Patrick get into physical fights often - some of which escalate into pretty extreme territory 

Patrick either actively enjoys himself the entire time you guys go at it (i.e. laughing and provoking you with extra asshole comments), or goes dead serious the moment the first punch gets thrown - no middle ground 

Totally depends on the context of the situation 

Typically starts out fairly even either way (Hockstetter has a height advantage, but he’s a twig, so you have weight on your side) until Patrick does something so batshit crazy there’s no way you could’ve defended yourself against it

To put it bluntly, these are the moments when it feels like Patrick might actually kill you (aka: “maximum peaks of insanity”)

Example: Once, after you’d just forced Patrick off of you (effectively sending him hard into your bedroom wall), he recovered slowly and stood in silence for a few seconds (his back to you)... 

...before reaching for a framed picture off the wall in front of him

He then tossed it once in his hand to get a better grip (so casual, one might’ve thought it was a baseball), swung around with demonic speed, and smashed the picture (glass forward) into the side of your face

* Homeboy used his full strength, and it would take several stitches to fix that bad boy up *

But this, of course, sent you reeling in a burst of blood and glass shards

As you lay squirming on the ground (caught between trying to talk, putting your hands up to your shredded face, and trying to process what had just happened) Patrick just watched you for a bit - almost enamored by the image of you dazed and bloody 

Then, the fight ended the way you and Patrick’s fights always do

Patrick suddenly broke out of his fucked up killer trance, righted himself a little (you’d fucked him up pretty good, and usually do even though he always comes out on top), laughed in his usual Hockstetter way, and offered his hand to help you up

You took it slowly (and a little unsurely - he’d tricked you with this move in the past) and stood up in front of him as best you could - mostly straight, but still letting your body loll a bit to the side 

Patrick watched you trying to focus your gaze on him (literally living for how torn apart you were) before coming out with a single sentence:

”You gotta’ little somethin’ on your face there, hot stuff.”

He then plucked a small shard of glass out of your cheek, flicked it across the room, and sauntered into the bathroom laughing his bony ass off 

Your fights literally always end in some version of this same manner 

i.e. With Patrick taking control for a few seconds, becoming satisfied when he feels he’s successfully alpha-maled you, and laughing it off afterwards as if you guys didn’t just have a full-on brawl

But it’s kind of a two-way street 

Meaning, after you fix yourself up, you typically go back to normal too

The fight gets fought, and then you guys are good - it settles whatever you were originally arguing about 

You have had fights about the same issues multiple times because of this though, so ya’ll could probably benefit from real communication rather than acting on your impulses 

... Especially since you basically get maimed every damn time 

Just sayin’. 

Cue 10/10 sex, and repeat in approximately a month

Definitely a very intense relationship overall - however probably not something a sane person would want for the long-term

That being said though, Patrick would probably keep you around forever if he could, because you’re the first person he’s ever been with who can handle his “tier 2″ level violence (most people can barely stand tier 1)

So, if you’re into the pain/intensity of fighting, the connection might actually work out

... Provided you don’t get murdered during an argument

Which might very well happen, so... have fun living that life 

[thedyingmoon]

🖤 I See My Future Before Me 🖤

***

XXV.B

***

Vergil landed on the wrecked balcony of Fleminger’s mansion, clearly noticing its quite undisturbed state despite the Dreadnought’s massive ambuscade. The sprawling mansion, itself, still stood in one piece. The once majestic ballroom may be reduced to a complete ruin due to the Electric Furies’ attack last Saturday and Nico’s reckless driving last Tuesday but, the rest of the huge building’s parts were still intact.

With the Yamato on his hand, he cautiously entered the dark and silent premises, hoping for Fleminger to show up,…

“My Lord?” A familiar voice uttered from a distance. He squinted his eyes, trying to see through the darkness, when he noticed the Master of the house standing at a safe distance away from the entrance.

“Fleminger?” He called as he went closer, and the moment he did, he was unnerved to see the man looking really pale, like he just lost a lot of blood.

“My Lord!” He exclaimed triumphantly, his hands clasped as if in a prayer. “How wonderful to see you finally succeed!”

“Tell me,” Vergil cut him off. “… the Dreadnought. Why is it still alive? I drove the Yamato through her sister’s body and obtained her power. She should be weakened. I demand an explanation.”

“My Lord,” Fleminger began. “… I’m afraid to say that,… you have not gained everything.”

“And what do you mean by those words?”

“Inside the girl lies,… another. You may have her unmatched strength and her ability to look into the future but, you have yet to gain the most powerful ally.”

At the mere prospect of gaining more power, Vergil’s eyes clearly widened with interest. “And that is?”

Tired eyes red and pale hands rubbing against long, black, satin bishop sleeves, Fleminger spoke to him, “Immortality, my Lord. You have yet to gain her immortality. Acquire this and you shall be able put an end to the Dreadnought, once and for all. Obtain this,…” the man licked his dry lips and smiled at him. “… and you will be the most powerful being in existence. Even greater than Mundus, or Sparda, himself.”

Vergil glanced at the man with scrutinizing eyes, searching for something in Fleminger that could betray him of any kind of deceit. And when he found none, he nodded, then turned away from him.

“Then, I shall obtain it. And put an end to that Demon.”

“Even with obstacles before you?” Fleminger innocently asked just when another visitor arrived at the mansion. Vergil found out that it was none other than his son, Nero, himself.

“He is never an obstacle.” The father stated, regarding his own son with complete apathy. “Just a child who lost his way.”

“YOU WILL PAY FOR WHAT YOU’VE DONE!” Nero fumed as blue light radiated from his body, engulfing him and slowly changing him to his Devil form. “V, VERGIL, WHATEVER YOU CALL YOURSELF: FUCK YOU!”

The young Devil Hunter summoned Dante’s sword and charged forward with every intention of beating his father.

But, Vergil had other plans.

With one swift movement, he pulled out what’s left of the black contract markings from his neck, the thick, mysterious ink sticking to his fingers like glue, forcibly summoning both Shadow and Nightmare in the process.

While the golem started mindlessly destroying the place, the demonic feline only looked at Vergil in confusion, asking ‘why?’ without actual words. And this made Nero stop.

“I don’t have time for this.” Vergil told his son. “Play with these nightmares. Kill them, if you must.

"I’m done with them.”

“What are you - ?!”

With those empty words, the cold man simply walked out, changing into the light being once more as he arrived at the balcony, and soared into the skies in pursuit of his final goal. Nero was about to go after him when the abandoned familiars started attacking him.

For a brief moment, Vergil’s eyes scanned the ground below him like an eagle in search of his prey, swiftly descending when he finally spotted the remains of the Dreadnought. He morphed back to his mortal form once his feet touched the ground and made his way towards two distinct figures along the fleshy debris of Shinano Musashi.

That’s when he saw something else,…

… the girl, or what looked like her spirit,…

… who was sitting on the ground just beside her and Dante’s body.

Her head bowed down low, her tears spilling on her lap, her hands on the girl’s limp and bloody hands, she wept for her, her mournful sobs filling the silent place.

And then, Vergil realized,…

“You,…”

The girl looked up, her eyes wide with fear. He knew she wasn’t (Y/N), and yet,…

… the resemblance,…

… was uncanny.

“Vergil,” she uttered, her voice sounding awfully familiar. Like he heard it somewhere before. “… she’s dying. Please, help her. Please!”

And he thought she was already done for! One look at her told him that she’s hopeless with those fatal wounds. No other mortal could survive those.

But, of course, the being was still healing her despite her incorrigible state.

“Why are you still helping her?” He questioned, not caring about (Y/N)’s condition. “She’s dying. There’s nothing you could do to help her.”

The being glanced back at the girl, grasping her hands as tightly as she could as she still tried to heal her. “I,… never lost my faith in her,…” she explained, then looked up once more at him. “… and neither in you, Vergil.”

Her voice,…

The way she uttered his name plucked something in his heart. He knew he had seen her before, heard her voice even. He just couldn’t remember when or how exactly.

“Listen, what you are doing right now is,… futile.” Vergil urged on. “There is no power in this cruel world that could save that weak mortal. Accept her fate and face your one true Master.”

The being closed her eyes, her tears endlessly streaming down, and shook her head in denial.

Vergil sighed. He didn’t want to use the Yamato against her. The being was small and looked weak and fragile, like its resemblance. He knew he could obtain her and her power of immortality. He just needed one last push, or else,…

He pointed at the sky and spoke, “Her sister is wreaking havoc as I speak. If you do not come with me now, the whole world, and humanity, itself, will truly be annihilated, and you would no longer serve any kind of Master.” He prodded on, his patience slowly reaching its limit. “You do not want to make this any more difficult for the both of us.” He exclaimed, then extended a hand towards the being, wanting it to take it. “Come with me. Now.”

The being only looked at him, her facial expression quite difficult to read. “You must understand that, by acquiring my power, not only will you gain immortality, you will also gain the absolute knowledge of my current vessel.”

Absolute knowledge? “I understand.”

“By my sister Andromeda, you became the Protector of The Present. By my sister Cassandra, you gained the Aspect of The Future. By me, the last of the Sisters of Fate, you shall carry the burden of the past. Do you understand?”

Vergil sighed. “Yes.”

The being inhaled, looking like it was actually contemplating its decisions like a normal human being.

Her emotions, her gestures,…

… those eyes,…

In fact, she really was like a normal human girl,…

“Do you, Vergil Sparda, accept all of these conditions?”

“I do.” He gave his unwavering answer.

“Then,” she answered, finally taking Vergil’s hand. “… reunite, we shall, Master Vergil. I pray you do not regret,… your decision.”

The moment their hands made contact, the last of the Sisters of Fate vanished, her body turning into little orbs. These orbs then went directly to Vergil’s skin, merging with him, becoming one with him,…

“V,…”

When he finally succeeded in absorbing the last being, he heard a familiar female voice. His sight was abruptly stolen from him, making him drop the Yamato on the ground. His consciousness was swiftly brought to a place he didn’t know existed. He felt he was floating, hovering for a long time, and when he finally gained his sight back, he saw,…

… her memories.

(Y/N)’s memories.

All of it.

And they came crashing down in huge flashes before him,…

“I love you, Mama! I love you, Papa!”

“STOP HURTING PAPA!”

“NO! DON’T TAKE THEM AWAY! DON’T LEAVE US!”

“I’m here, (S/N). I will never leave you,…”

“What did you do to my sister?!”

“I’m sorry,…”

“Who are you?!”

“ALL OF YOU, DIE!”

“Where am I?!”

“I was not perfect. And I failed to protect her because of it.”

“There is,… someone,… in my visions. A man - with white hair. He plays the violin,…”

“I must fulfill the wish!”

“Nico, make this for me!”

“I was looking for someone,…”

“I said,… STAY!”

“Nico, it’s him! The man in my visions! The one with the markings on his skin!”

“I will protect you, V.”

“Do you know Titanic, V?”

“I think you should go see the world for yourself,…”

“I want to know what’s bothering you,…”

“V!”

“V?”

“V, please,…”

“I love you, V,…”

Vergil closed his eyes and covered his ears to shut the flood of memories away. He screamed, begging for the visions to stop plaguing him.

Then, everything went silent, as simple as that. He could no longer hear her voice, nor see her memories. It was as if the voices and the memories got sucked into oblivion, never to be seen again. The whole world was plunged into total darkness.

And then, he heard it. Another voice but, it sounded different. It did not feel chaotic. It was calm.

“I’ve waited a hundred years. I’d wait,… a million more for you,…”

A male voice sang gently just when a little orb of light appeared from a distance. Vergil took a step forward, longing to reach its warmth and protection,…

“Nothing prepared me for,… what the priviledge of being yours would do,…”

Vergil was transported to a big empty studio where a man was sitting in front of a piano, singing those soothing words.

And then, he saw her right on the corner. It was (Y/N). And she looked just the same, long (H/C) hair tied in a ponytail, graceful movements, perfect posture,…

She looked very much alive and vibrant.

“That beautiful song,… what is it about?” She asked the man on the piano, her curiosity endearing, her voice achingly lovely.

“It’s about a man who regrets the loss of a loved one and the woman who loves him the most. The love of his life. Whom he could no longer be with.” He answered, playing some notes, then sang once more. “If I have only felt the warmth,… within your touch,…”

“Could you,…” she began, positioning herself in the middle of the empty room. “… start from the beginning?”

The man smiled as his hands gently glided on the keys once more.

And just as he began playing, Vergil heard a thunderclap. He turned to look at the windows and realized it was raining outside. He, then, glanced back at the middle of the room, and saw,…

… his former fragile self sitting on the floor with his first demonic familiar, Griffon, just behind him, watching (Y/N) as she began dancing to the man’s song.

He could still remember this exact moment on that abandoned studio that one rainy day. All he could hear by then was the sound of the rain, the thunder, and her light steps.

But, now, it was as if the two memories, his and hers, overlapped and merged into one sad vision, finally enabling him to hear the song she danced to and see once more how graceful and delicate she was.

With the sweet music, the sound of the rain and the thunder vanished. He listened as the man began playing and watched as the girl began dancing.

“I’ve waited a hundred years.

I’d wait a million more,… for you.

Nothing prepared me for,

What the priviledge of being yours,… would do.

If I had only felt,… the warmth within your touch.

If I had only seen,… how you smile,… when you blush.

Or how you curl your lip,… when you concentrate enough,

Oh, I would’ve known,… what I’ve been living for,… all along.

What I’ve been living,… for.”

The music gradually went louder as the girl began twirling, her raw movements in time with the music.

“Your love is my turning page,

Where only the sweetest words,... remain.

Every kiss is a cursive line,

Every touch is a redefining phrase.

I surrender who I've been,... for who you are.

For nothing makes me stronger than,

... your fragile heart.

If I had only felt how it feels,... to be yours,

Oh, I would've known,... what I've been living for,...

... all along,..."

He felt his tears fall down just as the former him began weeping with her movements alone.

He never actually felt,... how it feels to be hers,...

And now, he not only left her, he hurt her, as well,...

... for such a stupid thing as absolute power.

He chose power,... over her.

Over the woman,...

... he now knew he truly loved.

And not because she had the ability to lure Demons like what Fleminger told him, no.

It was because of who and everything she was.

"What I've been living for."

“Ah! I’m so sorry! I would never do this again! I - ”

Vergil snapped from his reverie as he saw his former self hugging her tightly, not wanting to let her go.

"Hey, it's okay." She reassured him. "I'll never leave you. I promise,... "

All of a sudden, the sweet memory abruptly changed to that of the times when he neglected her, rejected her, and that moment when he,...

"I love you, V."

"I choose,... POWER!"

But, still, the song remained,...

"Though we're tethered,

To the story we would tell.

When I saw you,

Oh, I knew we'd tell it well,...

With a whisper,... we will tame the vicious seas.

Like a feather,

Bringing kingdoms to,... their knees,..."

“What matters is that you still have precious people around you, my Lady. You must focus on not losing them, as well.”

"THE PAST WILL WEEP, THE PRESENT WILL KNEEL, AND THE FUTURE WILL DIE!"

Vergil opened his eyes, feeling his tears on his face as he stared at her lifeless body on the ground. And when the thoughts of those painful visions went back to him,...

... he fell on his knees,...

... right before the woman he loved above all else.

And on that heart - wrenching moment, he suddenly felt his own sword drive through him, its tip sticking out of his stomach, dripping with his own blood.

And with that swift, decisive moment, the Sisters of Fate left his body and went directly to whoever stabbed him.

Just like that, they were stolen away from him.

He changed back to his former fragile self, crumbling, wheezing,...

... dying,...

Vergil,... was no more.

He felt the Yamato being pulled away from him as he coughed blood. He fell on the ground just beside (Y/N) and glanced up to find Fleminger with the Yamato.

"There was,... one vital part you didn't know about the story of the Dreadnought, my Lord." The Master, the true enemy and traitor, began, theatrically swinging the Yamato like a cane.

"F - flemin - g - ger,..." V wheezed, his blood staining the ground beneath him, his rage for the man, who was the cause of all this madness, overtaking his whole being.

"There has never been a Dreadnought, or a Shinano Musashi, to begin with. They were only made up. But,... there was a girl named (S/N) (L/N). She was the most perfect girl in all of existence, and my ancestors chose her to be the vessel of Pandemonium, a Demon whose powers rival that of Mundus'. Even greater.

"And Pandemonium did choose her eventually. My ancestors were about to achieve immortality through her when her sister, by the name of (Y/N) (L/N), happened to massacre almost all of them in rage, including the orphans they were raising. Apparently, she was chosen by three equally powerful beings - the Sisters Of Fate, Cassandra, Andromeda, and Galatea - to fulfill another mission. And that mission is to locate you, protect you, and reunite the Sisters back to Sparda's family."

Flemiger walked around V, who was squirming in pain and cowering with fear.

"It seems she succeeded on that mission of hers. You obtained power through her, and I took it from you. I fulfilled my revenge on (Y/N) for murdering my ancestors, thanks to you, my Lord. And for that, I will forever be grateful." The fiend expressed his sincere gratitude towards V. "Oh, and letting Pandemonium, who will only answer to me, destroy everything she wanted was only a collateral."

Fleminger sheathed the Yamato and went to the opposite direction. But, before he left, he turned back to V and smiled at him. He even threw a piece of a familiar leather fabric at him. And in complete horror, he realized whose it was.

It belonged to him,...

Nero,... V thought, his hopes shattering. My,... son,...

"Oh, and have I told you that Galatea, who was the Bearer of The Past, kept (Y/N)'s body safe and in stasis for a hundred years just for you? After all, she was the one who searched through different timelines for the perfect vessel. I did say that the tragedy of Fortuna happened a hundred years ago, am I right, my Lord?" He raised the Yamato at him like a salute of some sort then bowed. "Farewell, son of Sparda."

And with those final words, Fleminger left him.

V felt the whole world around him fall apart as the Dreadnought - (S/N) - started firing her destructive lasers once more.

And who could blame her? After seeing her beloved sister suffer at the hands of the man she loved, could she still think of anyone worthy of redemption?

***

~ I dedicate this chapter to @la-vita for helping me with this fic through XXV.A's German dialogue and her helpful tips for making V IC. Thank you so much. 🖤

~@vergils-daughter , @heaven-on-a-landslide , @micaelagua , @yepps , @sofia-micaela , @lessy86 , @beyond-the-mirror , @gxthghoulfriend , @ehrzeth , @ceruleanworld , @simmy-ships , @boundbysoul , @diabeticsugarush , and @krazy06 . 🖤

***

His hand went to the fatal wound on his stomach. The pain was actually going away as he slowly felt numbness taking over his whole body. Well, he was truly dying now.

And he will die just like that - alone, weak,...

... pathetic,...

And he knew he deserved it.

He crawled towards (Y/N) and reached for her cold hands. He, then, made an effort to pull her towards him for one last embrace.

It was then that he remembered their conversation inside the abandoned studio just after her dance.

"Can you quote something from Shakespeare?" He fondly remembered her asking him with a shy and awkward smile. "After all, Griffon always calls you Shakespeare,..."

"Oh, here will I set up,... my everlasting rest and shake the yoke of,... inauspicious stars from this,... world - wearied,... flesh!"

V quoted, then coughed blood once more. He wrapped (Y/N) in his embrace, not wanting to let her go in this final moment.

"... eyes look,... your last. Arms, take your last embrace. And lips,... oh you the doors of,... breath,... seal with a righteous kiss,... a dateless,... bargain,... to engrossing death,..."

He gently kissed her forehead and took a deep breath, feeling the whole world around him vanish with complete darkness as his eyesight became blurry.

"... if only,... I could go back,... and change,... everything,..."

He whispered, regrets drowning him as his eyelids closed,...

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

"Master, open your eyes!"

"G - gala - t - tea?"

***

🖤🖤🖤

***

~ 12 ~

***

[etlunainmorte]

❤ I See My Future Before Me ❤

***

XXV.B

***

Vergil landed on the wrecked balcony of Fleminger’s mansion, clearly noticing its quite undisturbed state despite the Dreadnought’s massive ambuscade. The sprawling mansion, itself, still stood in one piece. The once majestic ballroom may be reduced to a complete ruin due to the Electric Furies’ attack last Saturday and Nico’s reckless driving last Tuesday but, the rest of the huge building’s parts were still intact.

With the Yamato on his hand, he cautiously entered the dark and silent premises, hoping for Fleminger to show up,…

“My Lord?” A familiar voice uttered from a distance. He squinted his eyes, trying to see through the darkness, when he noticed the Master of the house standing at a safe distance away from the entrance.

“Fleminger?” He called as he went closer, and the moment he did, he was unnerved to see the man looking really pale, like he just lost a lot of blood.

“My Lord!” He exclaimed triumphantly, his hands clasped as if in a prayer. “How wonderful to see you finally succeed!”

“Tell me,” Vergil cut him off. “… the Dreadnought. Why is it still alive? I drove the Yamato through her sister’s body and obtained her power. She should be weakened. I demand an explanation.”

“My Lord,” Fleminger began. “… I’m afraid to say that,… you have not gained everything.”

“And what do you mean by those words?”

“Inside the girl lies,… another. You may have her unmatched strength and her ability to look into the future but, you have yet to gain the most powerful ally.”

At the mere prospect of gaining more power, Vergil’s eyes clearly widened with interest. “And that is?”

Tired eyes red and pale hands rubbing against long, black, satin bishop sleeves, Fleminger spoke to him, “Immortality, my Lord. You have yet to gain her immortality. Acquire this and you shall be able put an end to the Dreadnought, once and for all. Obtain this,…” the man licked his dry lips and smiled at him. “… and you will be the most powerful being in existence. Even greater than Mundus, or Sparda, himself.”

Vergil glanced at the man with scrutinizing eyes, searching for something in Fleminger that could betray him of any kind of deceit. And when he found none, he nodded, then turned away from him.

“Then, I shall obtain it. And put an end to that Demon.”

“Even with obstacles before you?” Fleminger innocently asked just when another visitor arrived at the mansion. Vergil found out that it was none other than his son, Nero, himself.

“He is never an obstacle.” The father stated, regarding his own son with complete apathy. “Just a child who lost his way.”

“YOU WILL PAY FOR WHAT YOU’VE DONE!” Nero fumed as blue light radiated from his body, engulfing him and slowly changing him to his Devil form. “V, VERGIL, WHATEVER YOU CALL YOURSELF: FUCK YOU!”

The young Devil Hunter summoned Dante’s sword and charged forward with every intention of beating his father.

But, Vergil had other plans.

With one swift movement, he pulled out what’s left of the black contract markings from his neck, the thick, mysterious ink sticking to his fingers like glue, forcibly summoning both Shadow and Nightmare in the process.

While the golem started mindlessly destroying the place, the demonic feline only looked at Vergil in confusion, asking ‘why?’ without actual words. And this made Nero stop.

“I don’t have time for this.” Vergil told his son. “Play with these nightmares. Kill them, if you must.

“I’m done with them.”

“What are you - ?!”

With those empty words, the cold man simply walked out, changing into the light being once more as he arrived at the balcony, and soared into the skies in pursuit of his final goal. Nero was about to go after him when the abandoned familiars started attacking him.

For a brief moment, Vergil’s eyes scanned the ground below him like an eagle in search of his prey, swiftly descending when he finally spotted the remains of the Dreadnought. He morphed back to his mortal form once his feet touched the ground and made his way towards two distinct figures along the fleshy debris of Shinano Musashi.

That’s when he saw something else,…

… the girl, or what looked like her spirit,…

… who was sitting on the ground just beside her and Dante’s body.

Her head bowed down low, her tears spilling on her lap, her hands on the girl’s limp and bloody hands, she wept for her, her mournful sobs filling the silent place.

And then, Vergil realized,…

“You,…”

The girl looked up, her eyes wide with fear. He knew she wasn’t (Y/N), and yet,…

… the resemblance,…

… was uncanny.

“Vergil,” she uttered, her voice sounding awfully familiar. Like he heard it somewhere before. “… she’s dying. Please, help her. Please!”

And he thought she was already done for! One look at her told him that she’s hopeless with those fatal wounds. No other mortal could survive those.

But, of course, the being was still healing her despite her incorrigible state.

“Why are you still helping her?” He questioned, not caring about (Y/N)’s condition. “She’s dying. There’s nothing you could do to help her.”

The being glanced back at the girl, grasping her hands as tightly as she could as she still tried to heal her. “I,… never lost my faith in her,…” she explained, then looked up once more at him. “… and neither in you, Vergil.”

Her voice,…

The way she uttered his name plucked something in his heart. He knew he had seen her before, heard her voice even. He just couldn’t remember when or how exactly.

“Listen, what you are doing right now is,… futile.” Vergil urged on. “There is no power in this cruel world that could save that weak mortal. Accept her fate and face your one true Master.”

The being closed her eyes, her tears endlessly streaming down, and shook her head in denial.

Vergil sighed. He didn’t want to use the Yamato against her. The being was small and looked weak and fragile, like its resemblance. He knew he could obtain her and her power of immortality. He just needed one last push, or else,…

He pointed at the sky and spoke, “Her sister is wreaking havoc as I speak. If you do not come with me now, the whole world, and humanity, itself, will truly be annihilated, and you would no longer serve any kind of Master.” He prodded on, his patience slowly reaching its limit. “You do not want to make this any more difficult for the both of us.” He exclaimed, then extended a hand towards the being, wanting it to take it. “Come with me. Now.”

The being only looked at him, her facial expression quite difficult to read. “You must understand that, by acquiring my power, not only will you gain immortality, you will also gain the absolute knowledge of my current vessel.”

Absolute knowledge? “I understand.”

“By my sister Andromeda, you became the Protector of The Present. By my sister Cassandra, you gained the Aspect of The Future. By me, the last of the Sisters of Fate, you shall carry the burden of the past. Do you understand?”

Vergil sighed. “Yes.”

The being inhaled, looking like it was actually contemplating its decisions like a normal human being.

Her emotions, her gestures,…

… those eyes,…

In fact, she really was like a normal human girl,…

“Do you, Vergil Sparda, accept all of these conditions?”

“I do.” He gave his unwavering answer.

“Then,” she answered, finally taking Vergil’s hand. “… reunite, we shall, Master Vergil. I pray you do not regret,… your decision.”

The moment their hands made contact, the last of the Sisters of Fate vanished, her body turning into little orbs. These orbs then went directly to Vergil’s skin, merging with him, becoming one with him,…

“V,…”

When he finally succeeded in absorbing the last being, he heard a familiar female voice. His sight was abruptly stolen from him, making him drop the Yamato on the ground. His consciousness was swiftly brought to a place he didn’t know existed. He felt he was floating, hovering for a long time, and when he finally gained his sight back, he saw,…

… her memories.

(Y/N)’s memories.

All of it.

And they came crashing down in huge flashes before him,…

“I love you, Mama! I love you, Papa!”

“STOP HURTING PAPA!”

“NO! DON’T TAKE THEM AWAY! DON’T LEAVE US!”

“I’m here, (S/N). I will never leave you,…”

“What did you do to my sister?!”

“I’m sorry,…”

“Who are you?!”

“ALL OF YOU, DIE!”

“Where am I?!”

“I was not perfect. And I failed to protect her because of it.”

“There is,… someone,… in my visions. A man - with white hair. He plays the violin,…”

“I must fulfill the wish!”

“Nico, make this for me!”

“I was looking for someone,…”

“I said,… STAY!”

“Nico, it’s him! The man in my visions! The one with the markings on his skin!”

“I will protect you, V.”

“Do you know Titanic, V?”

“I think you should go see the world for yourself,…”

“I want to know what’s bothering you,…”

“V!”

“V?”

“V, please,…”

“I love you, V,…”

Vergil closed his eyes and covered his ears to shut the flood of memories away. He screamed, begging for the visions to stop plaguing him.

Then, everything went silent, as simple as that. He could no longer hear her voice, nor see her memories. It was as if the voices and the memories got sucked into oblivion, never to be seen again. The whole world was plunged into total darkness.

And then, he heard it. Another voice but, it sounded different. It did not feel chaotic. It was calm.

“I’ve waited a hundred years. I’d wait,… a million more for you,…”

A male voice sang gently just when a little orb of light appeared from a distance. Vergil took a step forward, longing to reach its warmth and protection,…

“Nothing prepared me for,… what the privilege of being yours would do,…”

Vergil was transported to a big empty studio where a man was sitting in front of a piano, singing those soothing words.

And then, he saw her right on the corner. It was (Y/N). And she looked just the same, long (H/C) hair tied in a ponytail, graceful movements, perfect posture,…

She looked very much alive and vibrant.

“That beautiful song,… what is it about?” She asked the man on the piano, her curiosity endearing, her voice achingly lovely.

“It’s about a man who regrets the loss of a loved one and the woman who loves him the most. The love of his life. Whom he could no longer be with.” He answered, playing some notes, then sang once more. “If I have only felt the warmth,… within your touch,…”

“Could you,…” she began, positioning herself in the middle of the empty room. “… start from the beginning?”

The man smiled as his hands gently glided on the keys once more.

And just as he began playing, Vergil heard a thunderclap. He turned to look at the windows and realized it was raining outside. He, then, glanced back at the middle of the room, and saw,…

… his former fragile self sitting on the floor with his first demonic familiar, Griffon, just behind him, watching (Y/N) as she began dancing to the man’s song.

He could still remember this exact moment on that abandoned studio that one rainy day. All he could hear by then was the sound of the rain, the thunder, and her light steps.

But, now, it was as if the two memories, his and hers, overlapped and merged into one sad vision, finally enabling him to hear the song she danced to and see once more how graceful and delicate she was.

With the sweet music, the sound of the rain and the thunder vanished. He listened as the man began playing and watched as the girl began dancing.

“I’ve waited a hundred years.

I’d wait a million more,… for you.

Nothing prepared me for,

What the privilege of being yours,… would do.

If I had only felt,… the warmth within your touch.

If I had only seen,… how you smile,… when you blush.

Or how you curl your lip,… when you concentrate enough,

Oh, I would’ve known,… what I’ve been living for,… all along.

What I’ve been living,… for.”

The music gradually went louder as the girl began twirling, her raw movements in time with the music.

“Your love is my turning page,

Where only the sweetest words,… remain.

Every kiss is a cursive line,

Every touch is a redefining phrase.

I surrender who I’ve been,… for who you are.

For nothing makes me stronger than,

… your fragile heart.

If I had only felt how it feels,… to be yours,

Oh, I would’ve known,… what I’ve been living for,…

… all along,…”

He felt his tears fall down just as the former him began weeping with her movements alone.

He never actually felt,… how it feels to be hers,…

And now, he not only left her, he hurt her, as well,…

… for such a stupid thing as absolute power.

He chose power,… over her.

Over the woman,…

… he now knew he truly loved.

And not because she had the ability to lure Demons like what Fleminger told him, no.

It was because of who and everything she was.

“What I’ve been living for.”

“Ah! I’m so sorry! I would never do this again! I - ”

Vergil snapped from his reverie as he saw his former self hugging her tightly, not wanting to let her go.

“Hey, it’s okay.” She reassured him. “I’ll never leave you. I promise,… ”

All of a sudden, the sweet memory abruptly changed to that of the times when he neglected her, rejected her, and that moment when he,…

“I love you, V.”

“I choose,… POWER!”

But, still, the song remained,…

“Though we’re tethered,

To the story we would tell.

When I saw you,

Oh, I knew we’d tell it well,…

With a whisper,… we will tame the vicious seas.

Like a feather,

Bringing kingdoms to,… their knees,…”

“What matters is that you still have precious people around you, my Lady. You must focus on not losing them, as well.”

“THE PAST WILL WEEP, THE PRESENT WILL KNEEL, AND THE FUTURE WILL DIE!”

Vergil opened his eyes, feeling his tears on his face as he stared at her lifeless body on the ground. And when the thoughts of those painful visions went back to him,…

… he fell on his knees,…

… right before the woman he loved above all else.

And on that heart - wrenching moment, he suddenly felt his own sword drive through him, its tip sticking out of his stomach, dripping with his own blood.

And with that swift, decisive moment, the Sisters of Fate left his body and went directly to whoever stabbed him.

Just like that, they were stolen away from him.

He changed back to his former fragile self, crumbling, wheezing,…

… dying,…

Vergil,… was no more.

He felt the Yamato being pulled away from him as he coughed blood. He fell on the ground just beside (Y/N) and glanced up to find Fleminger with the Yamato.

“There was,… one vital part you didn’t know about the story of the Dreadnought, my Lord.” The Master, the true enemy and traitor, began, theatrically swinging the Yamato like a cane.

“F - flemin - g - ger,…” V wheezed, his blood staining the ground beneath him, his rage for the man, who was the cause of all this madness, overtaking his whole being.

“There has never been a Dreadnought, or a Shinano Musashi, to begin with. They were only made up. But,… there was a girl named (S/N) (L/N). She was the most perfect girl in all of existence, and my ancestors chose her to be the vessel of Pandemonium, a Demon whose powers rival that of Mundus’. Even greater.

"And Pandemonium did choose her eventually. My ancestors were about to achieve immortality through her when her sister, by the name of (Y/N) (L/N), happened to massacre almost all of them in rage, including the orphans they were raising. Apparently, she was chosen by three equally powerful beings - the Sisters Of Fate, Cassandra, Andromeda, and Galatea - to fulfill another mission. And that mission is to locate you, protect you, and reunite the Sisters back to Sparda’s family.”

Flemiger walked around V, who was squirming in pain and cowering with fear.

“It seems she succeeded on that mission of hers. You obtained power through her, and I took it from you. I fulfilled my revenge on (Y/N) for murdering my ancestors, thanks to you, my Lord. And for that, I will forever be grateful.” The fiend expressed his sincere gratitude towards V. “Oh, and letting Pandemonium, who will only answer to me, destroy everything she wanted was only a collateral.”

Fleminger sheathed the Yamato and went to the opposite direction. But, before he left, he turned back to V and smiled at him. He even threw a piece of a familiar leather fabric at him. And in complete horror, he realized whose it was.

It belonged to him,…

Nero,… V thought, his hopes shattering. My,… son,…

“Oh, and have I told you that Galatea, who was the Bearer of The Past, kept (Y/N)’s body safe and in stasis for a hundred years just for you? After all, she was the one who searched through different timelines for the perfect vessel. I did say that the tragedy of Fortuna happened a hundred years ago, am I right, my Lord?” He raised the Yamato at him like a salute of some sort then bowed. “Farewell, son of Sparda.”

And with those final words, Fleminger left him.

V felt the whole world around him fall apart as the Dreadnought - (S/N) - started firing her destructive lasers once more.

And who could blame her? After seeing her beloved sister suffer at the hands of the man she loved, could she still think of anyone worthy of redemption?

***

His hand went to the fatal wound on his stomach. The pain was actually going away as he slowly felt numbness taking over his whole body. Well, he was truly dying now.

And he will die just like that - alone, weak,…

… pathetic,…

And he knew he deserved it.

He crawled towards (Y/N) and reached for her cold hands. He, then, made an effort to pull her towards him for one last embrace.

It was then that he remembered their conversation inside the abandoned studio just after her dance.

“Can you quote something from Shakespeare?” He fondly remembered her asking him with a shy and awkward smile. “After all, Griffon always calls you Shakespeare,…”

“Oh, here will I set up,… my everlasting rest and shake the yoke of,… inauspicious stars from this,… world - wearied,… flesh!”

V quoted, then coughed blood once more. He wrapped (Y/N) in his embrace, not wanting to let her go in this final moment.

“… eyes look,… your last. Arms, take your last embrace. And lips,… oh you the doors of,… breath,… seal with a righteous kiss,… a dateless,… bargain,… to engrossing death,…”

He gently kissed her forehead and took a deep breath, feeling the whole world around him vanish with complete darkness as his eyesight became blurry.

“… if only,… I could go back,… and change,… everything,…”

He whispered, regrets drowning him as his eyelids closed,…

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

“Master, open your eyes!”

“G - gala - t - tea?”

***

❤❤❤

***

[sparda3g]

Attack on Titan Chapter 123 Review

Is it possible for a person to take a different path than what was given to them? Is it possible to avoid what could be inevitable? Is it possible if a person said something that could have avoided the path that will bring annihilation? These are the questions that popped up in my head after reading this chapter. One moment could be the decisive factor to the overall story. What’s done is done, and this is the endgame.

The last chapter had me floored with the Rumbling. Eren has unleashed hell or deeper hell on Earth that might as well end with everyone dead. It’s complete madness; I don’t know how this will all end. Instead of the chapter open up with carnage, it begins with a flashback. While I’m not upset due to my anticipation for the Rumbling, I’m upset due to revisiting a forgiving sensation of peace and happiness. It doesn’t help that Sasha was there, so I can’t help but feel moved by this atmosphere. It’s welcoming, but there’s a great reason for this flashback.

It was the time for Survey Corps to visit Marley for the first time. I still can’t fathom that Isayama killed off Sasha, for she still provided humorous moments, including how she blatantly expose themselves as people from inside the walls. I really like the reactions from many characters toward the “technological advancement” compare to their homeland. The car part had me laughing a lot. They honestly thought it’s a species. It’s even funnier with Levi too thought the same, and warned them that it will hurt them. This is a nice change of pace.

The amusement continues with the introduction of ice cream. They made everything “new” seem like a big deal. I like Isayama poking fun on Levi with his stature. The clown thought he was a child, which annoyed him deep inside. Hell, it got intensified (somehow) with the cold stare. It’s only when Levi turned around that everything went back to normal. I do like Isayama’s humor. It’s the soothing atmosphere that fans needed the most. Even Mikasa eating ice cream felt comforting. I promise it’s normal as it sounds; like their beach scene.

In the midst of relaxation, Eren was the only one who appeared lost and possibly broken. If you recall, his goal was to go beyond the wall and see the world with his friends, Armin and Mikasa. Here he was, nothing to glee or feel alive. It’s a downer. He can’t help but look torn in front of his friends, yet they don’t notice his turmoil; or rather, don’t want to notice. It’s a conflicting feeling to deal with. A friend has a problem; how can one approach to them?

The sad part is, the trip didn’t astonish him since he has seen the memory of his father. The memories and likely the future have ruined his anticipation and expectation. It doesn’t help that the notion of Eldain and the mistreatment corrupted his view, even when the outside world is vast. There’s a nice page shot of the market with everyone on a casual time with Eren appearing separated from the rest aside of Mikasa, who was trying to comfort him. I feel bad for the two, but it gets more intimate later on.

The atmosphere changes quickly once Levi apprehended a boy who was pickpocketing. That small moment led to a dark movement. All the citizens instantly turned cruel, like they have flipped the switch from polite to crazy. Mind you, he’s just a boy, yet the citizens wanted to throw him overboard or smash his hand just to make an example to trespassers. Needless to say, it’s ludicrous.

It fortunately leads to an uplifting outcome with Levi saving the boy from crazies. Not to say he never helps, but it’s neat to see him helping without the need of killing. I chuckled at Hange and Sasha playing the family to protect the kid. The kid may have kept the wallet or bag, but it’s all good spirit from all ends. All except Eren, who looked once again lost. It plays a part later however.

They met with Kiyori to discuss the planning for peace treaty. As we know now, that path is definitely no longer an option. However, this established the difficulty that might as well deemed as impossible. It’s the unfortunate situation that resonates with reality with its own world problem. In this case, Paradis Island only wanted to be accepted, but after over a century, not counting on its origin, how can that happen in a day? It hurts to read their interactions, because everything they wanted to avoid came true, including Zeke’s strategy. They didn’t want any part of it. As the recent saying goes, reality is often disappointing.

Eren wasn’t there, which hinted the lack of connection. Yes, he went elsewhere to watch the boy and the family, but the way how he was illustrated to be distanced from his friends is quite telling. Mikasa found him with a tear flow. It is eerie how he noted nothing has happened to the family yet; keyword: yet. Ever since the past chapters, his words have grown cryptic and disturbing. He saw the family as similar as them: lost their home and freedom.

Now, I want to give you a heads-up on the next part. Pardon me for going into a brief analysis mode. Perhaps next time, I will do a separate post for analysis only. This is going to focus on the next scene, which sparked my interest heavily. We may jump back and forth here and there, but it’s for the sake to connect the pieces. Let’s begin.

Aside from the final scene, the one moment that grasped my attention significantly is Eren’s possibly deciding factor to his path with a question to Mikasa. This honestly threw me off as I wasn’t expecting an intimate moment; well, it’s arguable, but it’s unusual, mainly from Eren. He wanted to know why Mikasa is so attached to him. Why would she forever be on his side? What is he to her? That completely flustered her like a flirted school girl in anime. My eyes opened up like a shipping fan. Sadly, she replied with “family.” Ouch.

Let’s start off with Mikasa first. It’s believable for her to be in a confused state. She was easily caught off-guarded from Eren’s question. I felt the same way; it wasn’t like him to ask this type of question. Her pause clearly indicate that she has no clue how to respond with certainty. It wasn’t like she know right away. From the look of it, it appears Isayama has planted the seed to conclude her personal feelings.

One would believe her reply was good enough. However, in the later scene, she questioned herself if the endgame path would have been different if she responded differently, with the panel of the very scene no less. Basically, Isayama has written this scene as a wrong choice. I know the following scene has Eren feeling fine during the party, but it doesn’t dismiss the other possibility that could have been more appropriate for him. There’s multiple paths for a person to take and one may be the best outcome out of the rest. The question is, is Mikasa in love with Eren?

I am aware the series isn’t aiming for romance, though there have been romantic touch lately such as Gabi and Falco for instance. However, it doesn’t mean Isayama can’t ever introduce its element. Throughout the series, there has been hints or indirect moments that connect to Mikasa’s feelings that suggest more than sibling love; that includes the comical jealous scene. This chapter made it clearer that her attachment is above family love with her blushing and hesitation. Also, if that answer wasn’t “good enough,” then the next level is romantic love. I don’t see how lowering her level would please Eren.

Does it mean she knows she loves him? I don’t know. Although her curiosity suggest she does, maybe she really doesn’t know; at least at that time. You can see her either shying away to answer him with her true feelings, or struggled, not realizing what she truly feels and go with the one he already know. Does it matter now since the path has taken off? Possibly. The series isn’t over, so whatever Isayama has in mind with this notion, it’s likely to be a significant factor.

Now, this is tricky as we tackle on Eren’s side. To understand his reason is a puzzle itself. We must keep in mind that we never got to understand his inner thoughts and emotions. We have relied on other characters, or in this case Mikasa, to grasp an idea of his being. We would learn his motive and goal by the end, but we can’t exactly exploit his psychological state. Not to mention, how his mind operates as Attack Titan. It’s important to know his side of the story. We can only theorize until he finally speaks. With that said, let’s think about this.

Why Eren asked her that question? There’s two possible reasons. One in which is to test his fate or future reading. Have she said a different answer, perhaps he would feel a little better to know fate isn’t predetermined. As of late, it has been told that fate appears to be made and nothing Eren can do will change that. However, Zeke tested that and although the outcome may be the same, his statement has some weight left. Maybe the destination point is set, but not the journey. That’s only if Eren and his foreseen future is confirmed set in stone.

The other reason is, perhaps he loves her. Why ask that question that can be presented as romantic? What was he trying to gain there? As you noticed by now, Eren was depressed. He needed a comfort or anything that will tell him, “Life is good.” I’m no doctor at psychology, but often in media, love is described as powerful. Have Mikasa confessed her love, the path may have been different.

Don’t get me wrong. I can’t say for a fact that Eren wouldn’t go with the plan if she confessed. However, I do believe it would have some effect. What kind? We may never know. It’s a “what if” question that has no concrete solution. My main proof is chapter 50. Remember when Eren submitted to defeat and Mikasa expressed her heartfelt feelings, thanking him for everything? Eren turnaround after her words. Maybe Eren was praying for her to open up like last time, but instead, she blocked herself. It doesn’t help when the old man and their friends arrived to break the atmosphere. You can argue that he was frustrated when he said, “Perfect timing.”

It’s worth remembering the scene back in chapter 121 where Eren was watching his young-self wrapping his scarf around Mikasa. He was completely focused; didn’t respond to Zeke’s calling. Was that a hint? Come to think of it, it’s rather awkward to look back at chapter 112. If Eren took her answer as rejection, then the scene where he told her he hated her since the beginning comes off as an odd revenge. Like this is his way to get back at her. You broke my heart; now I’ll break yours. Of course, this is not true, though interesting choice of words from Eren. It was the complete opposite of love. Isayama isn’t shy from subtlety.

You may be wondering, “Why would Eren want love, especially from Mikasa?” For one thing, they are very close. More importantly, it’s likely his personal needs have matured. He’s grown up now; eventually, adulthood kicks in to their mental state. Maybe he saw her as a woman, not a sister. There are many series out there where love can change a person. One has the character converted because of it; saving him from suffering. Eren was suffering. Maybe we would have chapter 125 of “that” series happening here. Weird, because we’re almost at 125. Perfect timing.

Joking aside, it’s abundantly clear Isayama wants the fans to keep this moment in mind. I can’t confirm if this is based on romantic love, but it can possibly go to that route, now that Mikasa’s feeling is finally put into the test. Grisha founded peace with the second family with a better intention. Eren perhaps wanted the same, but judging by the end, it’s too little too late. Back to the review.

On the lighter note, after the tension between Eren and Mikasa broke, everyone joined the feast with homeless people. It’s relaxing and heartwarming. There’s no dialogue, but its visual express the tenderness that won’t replicate again. Quite amusing to see how each character acts when they are drunk. I like how Jeane and Connie brought in more drinks to continue the fun. Only Levi and Hange didn’t join in; must be the clown that stopped them. In all seriousness, it was great. The last panel with Eren, Mikasa, and Armin sleeping left me feeling sad; this may be the last time.

The meeting with the nations destroyed the possibility of peace with Paradis Island as everyone declared them as devils. That was the final nail to the coffin. Eren disappeared and the rest began in chapter 100. Let’s say if Mikasa did confess. Perhaps it would have stopped him from disappearing and instead, stick together. It reminds me of another series, whereas every development counts to determine the character’s fate. With no support, this is his fate.

It’s worth noting this was narrated by Mikasa, which I thought it is fitting. Her narration speaks for us fans on Eren’s true character. We are still bewildered, but slowly, we learning more and more. It’s most necessary to receive his side of the story, so we can only speculate. Based on how she ended, it left her with a regret. I can’t say it will make a huge difference, but anything is better than nothing. It’s back to the present and god almighty, she couldn’t be any more right.

The sight of a Titan army with one incredibly large one, most likely Eren, is bone-chilling. I think it’s safe to say we are in for an Evangelion ending, or in recent years, Devilman. I remember the audio of the ending played at the exhibit. Now it’s making a lot of sense with this revelation. The large incomplete form Titan is dangerously frightening. It looks like it’s forming a dinosaur body, but I think it will be like Rod Reiss’s Ttian, only larger. The fact it’s larger than the army is faint-worthy.

I appreciate the realistic atmosphere of the rising behemoths. It’s so damn loud, Armin has to shout to inform Mikasa on Eren’s true intention. It would be silly if it was all muted, so nice work on the detail. Armin finally enlightens her that Eren has always been on their side. He believes Eren only wanted to do the Rumbling to crush the Allied Forces at Marley and protect Paradis Island. He is right on the crushing the enemy part; however, the scale is far, far more than he thought, and that’s being generous.

It occurs that Wall Maria is also going down, which is unnecessary according to Armin. Sure, the more firepower, the better, but it’s more than enough to crush one nation. I thought the Rumbling was the most likely choice for Eren. While that remains true, the scale is what I got it wrong. By this point, I was shaking as if I was there. It becomes clear when Eren communicates to all subjects of Ymir through PATHS. I got chills from the pages alone.

It’s heart-wrenching with each passing page with each line slowly builds up to Eren’s goal. At least Pieck is alive, so that’s one bright spot. Anyway, it’s probably the first since time-skip that we hear his feelings. He had enough of everyone’s wish to eliminate Paradis Island. In return, he will protect his people and kill everyone outside the island; by that, I mean mass genocide. Well, that went completely dark. I’m honestly stunned. Technically, Eren has become the final villain. God, the last pages were blistering cold level of chills. I felt the anger. To put it simple: the good news is, Eren is back; the bad news is, Eren is back. What a twisted world.

This was a great chapter. It may not have progressed the story further, but the depth of its characters continue to impress. The flashback was an emotional rollercoaster; from tenderness to depressing. I apologize for going on long with the analysis, but I know it’s essential since Isayama highlighted as a turning point in some regards. The present timeline was seriously bone-chilling. The presentation was great. The revelation left me awed. It’s simple, but the depth is what sold me. I’m sure Armin and Mikasa don’t approve this, but the damage is done. If the world wants a villain like Eren, they got their wish. Now, fight or die.

[whenimgoodandready]

4 years ago, I heard about “Star vs. The Forces of Evil”. I didn’t think much of it, but I gave it a shot (it was like a childhood callback to my “Sailor Moon” phase when I was younger) to see how it was. I made a little review about it to let everyone know what I thought and after a couple of more episodes, I was drawn to it! A twist on the Magical Girl genre of the heroine open with her being magical and fighting villains while still going about an everyday life. Neat characters, funny dialogue, cool storylines, original music scores, plot twists and the shipping dramas! I was so obsessed I made fanart/animation, bought whatever merchandise there was of it! (Star and Marco’s Guide to Mastering Every Dimension (original and Stump Day Edition) and The Magic Book of Spells) and been having dreams of the show as well! My reviews have changed since the first season. It started out as just words, but then came frames and then later pictures and now, finally gifs! Writing is my passion. I just love writing down how I feel about things and having others see it and what I have to say about it as if I’m a voice to the people. Speaking of which, I gotta get to this finale review before I’m over my writing limit is up. Lol!

We open with what we saw in the promo for finale. Star transforms in her golden Mewberty form getting ready to enter the portal to The Realm of Magic, say The Whispering Spell there and destroy all the magic. Despite the major drawback to the aftermath (No Starco😢). She turns down Eclipsa and Moons advice on taking on Mina all together and is just single minded on her plan. Star, maybe that would’ve been a better idea. You know, like the whole Total Annihilation Spell thing that Eclipsa used! That could still work! Huh!? HUH!? HUH!? C’mon!!! (are we not gonna call her out for making a hasty decision based on her impulsive anger from her Moms betrayal!?) Before that however, she didn’t tell Marco the bad news of her plan to save him from heartbreak and Hekapoo was cool with Star going forward with her plan. Uh, seriously Hekapoo!? YOU’RE GONNA DIE! WHO’S THIS CHILL ABOUT DYING!? Guess after literally everything she thought, “Eh, I lived a long life. Besides, magic sucks a**”. Okay, I mean, if that’s how she feels then.

Marco goes with her and after getting one last back handed burning slap on the head (“Running with Scissors”), takes the wand from Moon and gives it the old “Marcos wand” look! (“Deep Dive”) Unknownst to Moon that he’s used it before. (the drawn on mole would’ve been a nice touch. I’m just sayin’). This is it! Their one last adventure before the whole things over. With that, they hold hands (Marco choosing the top arm of Stars left) and walk into the portal to destroy the magic. Oh God!

They arrive in The Realm of Magic and Star tries to do The Whispering Spell while Marco eats pudding that Glossaryck left behind for him and Star. Unfortunately, Star starts to lose her memories and Marco realizes he’s still fine. He finds out it’s the pudding! The Pudding!? OMG! You mean to tell me this is why Glossaryck kept eating pudding the whole time!? Not just because it was delicious! WOW! Marco shoves some pudding in Star which help keep her memories and then they see..............

Thomas Draconius Lucitor! Riding on the corrupted dark unicorn from “Mama Star”! Hey Tom! How you been!? Haven’t seen you since well, that episode I just mentioned! Last we checked, you were stuck in your demon form on fire and with that seatbelt still on!..............which you’re now wearing as a sash for some reason. Guess you never were sent back to Mewni, or the Underworld, or wherever else cuz no one bothered to mention what became of you. Tom, we can explain! A lot of sh*t happened in Mewni and it was all Mina (and Moons) fault! Also Starco is for finally canon and Stars gonna destroy the magic! Btw, why do you have glowing blank eyes like Stars real/fake ancestry?....................Tom, you’re scaring us............Tom, why are you charging at Starco!? Are you pissed that they forgot you!? TOM! TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!

Back on Mewni, River and Eddie finally make it to the sanctuary to save Globgor and just before they could open it, Mina catches them and the two biggest idiots of Mewni accidentally blurt out what they’re gonna do! (face palms). No thanks to that, Mina now tries to get into the sanctuary.

Over to The Realm of Magic again, Marco fights off Tom using the wand by blasting every bit of whimsical spell Star does and some with his own while Star finally does The Whispering Spell and for the finale, we actually hear what all that whispering was! “Break the bond, tear the fabric, cleave the stone, stop the magic” again and again. And it works! HOLY SH*T IT ACTUALLY WORKS! I didn’t think her plan would work by doing that, but it’s true! It’s freakin’ true!

However, it still doesn’t work. I knew it, I mean, saying the Whispering Spell in The Realm of Magic to destroy all magic! Puh-leeze! It’s only for the wand! :P. Just then, Moon and Eclipsa w/ Meteora show up and decide to help. That’s the quickest moment of forgiving I’ve ever seen, after all what Moon did, Star just accepted her again! Marco finally stops Tom from killing him w/ the corrupted dark unicorn by feeding him pudding, but in the process, getting stabbed! Don! Don! Don! After Tom is cured, he and Marco head back to Star. 

Star, Moon, Eclipsa and Meteora Dip Down in their Mewberty forms (the fandom gets their wish on seeing Eclipsa do that) and are joined by the Past Queens of Mewni (starting from Skywynne not the 26 before her cuz that’s all the queens the book mentioned cuz the staff didn’t have enough time to come up with designs, personalities, history, etc for them and also Skywynnes mother, Lyric, didn’t save the original Magic Book of Spells :P) in spiritual form assisting them with destroying magic. They still don’t talk as they didn’t have time to that and cuz it’s the last episode and we’re about wrapping up here, so :P to that.

Mina finds The Realm of Magic and charges after Star, Moon, Eclipsa and Meteora, but gets distracted when she sees her queen, Solaria, and gets attacked by the dark corrupted unicorn. Mina calls out to her for help, but Solaria, the queen that created Mina, transformed her and thought of her as her answer to finishing off monsters, did nothing! Nada, ZIP! Sure she hated monsters, but did she hate monsters more than she loves her daughter!? Some things are just more important. 

After he was done with Mina, the dark unicorn goes after the queens, but Marco f**king flips the horse! DAMN! Well, he’s fought monsters, did a bunch of cool sh*t in the Neverzone, helped save Mewni twice and punched Toffee right through him! So yeah! He can flip a horse! 

Suddenly, the magic starts getting destroyed, the baby unicorns melt, the wand is no more and the realm prepares its destruction.

The Queens start disappearing with Moon seeing her mother, Comet, one last time, Solaria accepting of Eclipsas monster love and her hybrid granddaughter and most of all, Glossaryck goin’in bye bye. Farewell Glossaryck, you were pretty annoying, but kinda right. It was nice knowin’ ya. 

Star then tells Marco he needs to go up the waterfall to Earth, but doesn’t answer him on the bad news that they’ll never see each other again :’(. However, I think he figured it out from their tearful good-bye.

 Everyone comes out the well, but Star makes a big sacrifice and decides to go to Earth to be with Marco. Turns out, Marco stayed behind in the destruction of The Realm of Magic cuz he too thought, with or without magic, ღ they belong together! ღ STARCO FOREVER! 

With that, they hug for the very last time with their last bit of magic giving them their glowing cheek marks, unknown what will become of them during the destruction (possibly death) and then 💥BOOM!💥

The sanctuary is now gone along with the magic, well dimension traveling, (the narwhal blasting) and most of all, no more signature cheek marks on Star or anyone else who had ‘em on the show! And Star floats a drift on an alligator where Moon finds her riding on another alligator like a jet ski.

The new Solarian army falls apart and all the Monsters, like Buff Frog and his kids, are now finally safe from harm all thanks to Star. Destroying the magic actually did turn out to be the solution to fix everything (I personally didn’t think so cuz I would’ve preferred Star go with Eclipsa’s Total Annihilation Spell from the beginning) and Stars tapestry did predict the outcome of it:Magic gone, no more Glossaryck, Mina defeated, Monsters safe, Reconciled with Moon, Eclipsa and her family alive and well and the Monster Temple still standing, but still, no Starco 😢. However, Star was still happy all the monsters were okay, her family safe and even Eclipsa and her family safe.

With the magic gone, Mina Loveberry has been brought down to normal and unfortunately, still coo coo! Now, with the other villains in the show, most of ‘em got redeemed (Ludo, Tom and Meteora) and others died (Toffee), but our final “Forces of Evil”, Mina, who can no longer transform into her Hulk-like warrior self, still remains mentally ill (there’s no cure for that). Moon tries to talk some final sense into her and help her out with her diseased mind, but Mina refuses her help cuz despite the fact that she’s depowered, she runs off continuing her goal on eliminating monsters cuz it “lingers to her”. Well, she’s a lost cause and no one really gives a sh*t about her anymore (except maybe Manfred), so good-luck to ya ya psycho b*tch!

Moon apologizes to Star for working along side with Mina and making the biggest f*ck up in history, but Star easily forgives her since she (Star) always f*cks up too. I guess the apple doesn’t really fall far from the tree after all, huh!? Star says it’s cuz all families f*ck up (some more so than others), but that what they need to do is just live and learn from it all. So yeah, it’s true. Star heads back to the infirmary to check up on her friends and since the magics gone, those Solarian fatal wounds have already disappeared and everyones okay. Like Pony Head and Rich Pigeon! Star tells Pony Head that destroying the magic was the only solution there was to defeat Mina and save everyone, but despite the fact that she’s happy all is well and done, the tragedy of it is there’s no more Marco Ubaldo Diaz! NO MORE STARCO! IT DIDN’T LAST! 😭 He’s just back on Earth with Janna cuz that’s where they belong much like how Kelly went back to Woolandia and Talon at that Dragon Spit bar thing and that she can’t deal with Pony Heads sassy character trait stuff right now! 

Pony Head sees how heartbroken Star is and cheers her up by saying that Kelly is crying tears...........of joy! And happily goin’ on adventures with her “Battle Buddy” Jorby and that Talon is making up cool stories about his adventure to the bar taverns and it does in fact cheer Star up.

From the magic gone, we learn what became of the MHC and that they were reduced to just junk. Omnitraxus Prime is now a lifeless skull like the ones you see stereotypically in the desert, Rhombulus is now a lifeless crystal which was originally his head and his free will snake arms are now just regular old snakes and Idk what happened to Hekapoo, but I’m assuming since she was a demoness, she must’ve just turned to a poof of smoke or something. Omnitraxus was so close to be mature, but sadly he failed to realize what Hekapoo saw. Still disappointed in how Rhombulous turned out (sigh) oh so disappointed. Oh! And uh, Sean just overfilled himself on pizza. He was never important. Whatever. 

Just then, Tom shows up and he’s okay too! Pony Head didn’t mention that he was looking for Star after she decided to supposedly leave Mewni to live on Earth and I think it’s cuz she ships Starco now cuz we all know Tomstar failed not once, but twice! Hey! It’s the finale, so I’m tellin’ it like it so :P (third times not always the charm). Any way, Tom shows Star a portal that”s floating around in the distance and that it leads to Earth! (gasp)

Speaking of Earth, since the The Realm of Magic was located under Britta’s Tacos, and is now gone, the restaurant is too. Oh great! 😒 First we lose The Bounce Lounge, then Quest Buy and now the taco place! (as if it wasn’t bad enough we don’t have Starco!). The whole destruction to them was known as an “earthquake”. 

Marco is on a gurney, but he’s safe and healed now that the magics gone with that unicorn wound no longer there and his parents and baby sister are relived he’s okay. Sadly, much like Star, he's miserable without her. 

Janna rolls in on her gurney attached to a heart rate monitor and she cheers up Marco by saying even though he lost Star, they still have each other as friends. Despite the fact that she drove him nuts most of the time, he did in fact consider her a friend and vice versa. Janna then tells Marco about a portal from a distance that leads to Mewni! (gasp). Janna then tells Marco that he should run for it while she fakes her death in 60 seconds to distract everyone. DAMN! RUN! DIAZ! RUN!

So I’m guessing their last bit of magic together while embracing one last time was the result of that portal (no it’s not a “gas leak” from the “earthquake”), but how long is it gonna remain open!? Both our heroes run like Hell to see each again with a build up theme tune playing with Star punching her way through the Forest of Certain Death and Marco violating traffic laws cuz one thing is set on their minds, make Starco canon! 

Marco uses Jackies skateboard to head faster while Star turns down a friendly game of basketball with Ludo and Dennis. So nice that we saw more of the minor characters again. sk8er girl Jackie with her new French mate, Chloe, starter villain Ludo fully redeemed and happy, those two guys that Daron never wanted to exist, Alfonzo and Ferguson, fangirl Starfan13, mean girl Brittany (well finally! Where was she!? Still wish we saw Jeremy though even if he was a little sh*t, I’d still would've liked to have seen him) we even saw that creepy woman and her new dog, “Willoughby”! (”Fetch”). 

Okay enough about them, let’s get back to Starco! They’re getting closer!........

closer!.........

CLOSER! AND- 

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! 

WHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHY!? THIS CAN’T BE! YOU MEAN TO TELL ME I WAITED 4 YEARS, WATCHED 4 SEASONS AND WENT THROUGH 4 SHIPS (JARCO, OSTAR, TOMSTAR AND KELLCO) FOR NOTHING! Why does Daron hate us!? Huh, why!? This is it! THIS is how the story ends!? No Starco, no endgame, no HAPPILY EVER AFTER! NO NOTHING! WHAT’S IT GONNA TAKE TO MAKE STARCO HAPPEN!? WHEN DRAGONCYCLES FLY ACROSS THE EARTH SKY!?

Wait! Are those dragoncylces? Flying across the Earth sky!? Holy Sh*t! They are! 

And are those, mermaids!? Swimming in the aqueduct!? (was that a giant spider?).  

Is that Rich Pigeon getting chased up a tree by Earth dogs!? 

Did a helicopter just fly by the Cloud Kingdom over the Pony Head family!? 

Whoa! Whoa!.....WHOA! Are you telling me, that Earth and Mewni have merged into one whole dimension and that it’s now Earthni!? Was it that last bit of Starco magic from the embrace that caused that portal to open and explode to do this!? WOW! Now I get it! “Cleaved”! Good one there, good one! Okay, so it’s a little hectic what with the two worlds becoming one thing, but maybe with time, everyone will get used to it (shrugs).

So if the two worlds merged then that means.............................

STARCO AT LAST! The final unification! Better than the one from “Battle for Mewni”, not awkward like in “Lint Catcher” just pure unadulterated Starco and with their beautiful theme music playing once again to emphasize it. They meet, they smile, they walk towards each other and...............they say Hi. No big kiss or hug or even a silent stare, just plain old “Hey how ya doin’?”. It’s a little tame, but considering this is a children's show, it’s still sweet and more importantly, it was endgame ;). 

🎶 I wanna be your endgame,

I wanna be your first string,

I wanna be your A-Team,

I wanna be your endgame, endgame 🎶

Since Star Butterfly wasn’t there to do her closing inner monologue like how she did with her opening one in the pilot of the show, I’ll be doing it here. So the show ended with Starco like we all hoped for except with the unexpected twist that both their worlds, Earth and Mewni, collided together. Never in a millions years would we have thought this would happen! I’ve seen fan works of Starco either living together on Earth or living as royals in Mewni with their “Starco child(ren)”, but the fact that we got a best of both worlds finale was a huge surprise! Now the happy couple can still be with their families and friends and even have Meteora and Mariposa grow up together like they promised they would. If you ask me, this sounds more like a new beginning, like how are the Humans and Mewmens gonna adapt to their new surroundings and interactions among each other like it’s the start of a whole new season! But I guess that was left to the fans to use their imagination on how that’ll go cuz so many people already had left the show to pursue other things and that they needed to wrap it up quickly. However, we’re still left with some unanswered questions such as why we didn’t see the Septarian, Seth, and how he was the head honcho of the Septarian army cuz he was a big deal in The Magic Book of Spells and since that book was foreshadowing everything in the final season, I assumed we might’ve gotten a look at him and maybe have him make an appearance since it was last said he disappeared, but I guess like in the book, he’s history. Second, there’s Toffee, from the very beginning he wanted the magic destroyed such as having Star use The Whispering Spell in the Season 1 finale and then corrupting it in the tv movie and it wasn’t until near the end where Star realized he was right to do so after all the chaos that’s been goin’ on. Granted it wasn’t for the same reasons she wanted, but overall just doing away with it to not give anyone an advantage to use against someone. I actually thought (like some fans) that he’d come back again, cuz he was mentioned a lot and it was hinted in the final seasons episode premiere about the use of magic and that he might’ve, but after two seasons and a movie, I suppose it was enough and at least he got a cameo in one. Still, his actions were a big concern for Star. Thirdly, the rebel princesses, last we saw, Meteora blew up the whole school after finding out about her true background and we never saw what became of ‘em. Hopefully, they’re fine like Pony Head is and that our minds shouldn’t go into a dark place thinking about that. Speaking of darkness, monster arm, he looked to be hinted at coming back after his defeat, but instead he was just left as a scare gag and irrelevance to the plot. Lastly, the same goes for that mysterious sun/moon/star room in St.Olga’s. It looked to be a big plot point to bring up in a later episode, but alas, we got nothing out of it! We suspected it had something to do with The Blood Moon, but even that was all for nothing! Never did we find out what that room was supposed to mean and I guess it was never meant to have been pointed out in-universe cuz that was for us fans to see it as an up and coming big Starco moment like how the Blood Moon was never magic and that it was just a gimmick with the whole “soul binding” thing to spice up it’s appeal. The finale was good. Could’ve done it as an hour long special or tv movie to close it off, but since Daron and the staff kept goin’ through so many changes in episode plots (and believe me, I’ve seen plenty of “what-could’ve-been” plots like the original idea for the show with Star younger and non-magical annoying everyone around her with her big imagination of her being a magical girl princess), I kinda think maybe they rushed into it, but even so, it was a nice finale and it left a good memory for me. I found some nice people through this fandom and just to name a few there was that ever popular head cannon blog, @svtfoeheadcanons which than went onto @seddm. Thank you for your words and blog and answering some of my questions (even though it was kinda anon, but I think you might’ve recognized me from my writings) you are brilliant, @moringmark, your comics of the Starco/Jarco child clashing story were fun as well as your Starco Child Headquarters comic and I am now enjoying your “F.R.I.E.N.D.S” parody of the Past Queens of Mewni and also the Meteora and Mariposa comic, thank you for your comics, I always check on and comment on ‘em and last, but certainly not least, my good svtfoe friend, @agentpfangirl1997. Hey girl! I love how I found her and we chatted about what we thought about the show and checking each others reviews and fan arts of it. Her drawings are awesome! Glad I got to know such a great person. Even with the show, we still keep it alive through our love for it and will treasure it for years to come. Thank you, Daron Nefcy! @daronnefcy 

[originalhybridloverfics]

Good to You Ch18

A/N: Okay, so I'm back to typing I haven't written Klaroline in months, I'm hoping this chapter doesn't suck and that characters aren't too ooc.

I apologize for mistakes and hope you enjoy the chapter.

Rebekah sat in confessional. It was ironic considering who and what she was. “I should never have come back here. This is the town where I fell in love - and where love failed us. I assume you know who I'm talking about?” “You should know Marcel and I are not on the best of terms right now.”’ Father Kieran informed her. “But you are an active priest, are you not?” asked Rebekah. “Ready and able to hear my confession?” “Usually the word "willing" falls somewhere in that sentence. Are you even Catholic?” Father Kieran questioned, he really doubted it.   “I've been on this Earth for a thousand years. I can't say for certain that I believe in anything like a God, but I need absolution. From someone. Anyone. So will you hear my confession or not?” Rebekah was growing impatient, she came here to get stuff off her chest not deal with someone judging her. 

Father Kieran nodded unseen by Rebekah.   “Bless me, Father, for I have sinned.” Rebekah began. “I am a liar, a betrayer. I have conspired against my own blood and I doubt even your God could save me.” 

24 Hours Earlier Klaus bit into the young woman's wrist. Normally Caroline would be bothered by someone being turned into a compelled blood bag but she since had learned that the woman wasn’t being compelled and was being paid quite a lot of money by Elijah to tap a vein. Still, Caroline preferred her blood bags rather than drinking from a girl’s wrist, for her guilty conscious sake at least. “Love,” Klaus held the woman’s wrist out to her in an offering. “No, I’m good,” she lifted up her glass of blood as she waved him off, taking a drink. Klaus dropped the woman’s wrist with a nod, focusing back on Rebekah who sat opposite of him, drinking from a cup. The table between them was full of breakfast food just waiting to be eaten. “Have you spoken to our good friend Marcel today?” “No, should I have?” Rebekah said in reply, her eyes flickering to Caroline briefly.   “He's been mysteriously silent - avoiding me, some might say. I thought perhaps he may have whispered reasons into your ear. Along with all of those sweet nothings.” Klaus taunted. Caroline looked up from texting Stefan glancing between the siblings with an arched brow. The tension between them was heavy with underlining issues. For the moment she was choosing not to interfere. “If I see him I'll be sure to ask if he's still sore at you,” replied Rebekah, looking at Klaus with cold eyes.   “Let me give a voice to that look in your eyes,” said Klaus, seeing the accusing look she had been giving him. “My saintly noble brother lies writhing in agony in the bayou, victim of my bastard-brother's-bite when just one or two drops of his blood would ease his pain.” “On the contrary, Nik, I am simply enjoying my breaky waiting for Elijah's healthy return.” She countered dismissively.   “Oh, come on Rebekah, you've been giving me the devil's eye all morning.” Klaus pointed out. “Out with it!” “Perhaps I'm concerned that if I voice my opinion about what you did to Elijah, I will end up on the wrong side of your toxic hybrid teeth,” said Rebekah, frowning.   “Poppycock!” Klaus leaned forward. “ I would never bite you. Elijah made some very offensive accusations about my intentions towards my children. He deserves a day or two of discomfort. Besides, you know my preferred method of punishment for your indiscretions is the dagger.” Caroline shook her head at his words. It was no wonder there was so much bad blood in the Mikaelson family their first go to when they disagreed was violence.   Rebekah smirked, standing up from her chair.  “There is something fundamentally wrong with you.” She turned and left the room. Klaus stared down at the food on the table with a dark expression. “Well, that went well,” Caroline said hoping to break the tension in the room. Klaus looked up, and his dark expression faded as he looked at her, with a faint smirk. “There’s nothing like a breakfast with the Mikaelson,’s love.” “I’ll say.” Caroline finished her glass, standing up. Klaus frowned. “Where are you going?” Caroline flashed him a smile and rubbed his shoulder. “Don’t worry, I’ll be back, I just need to ask Rebekah about our training.” Caroline didn’t wait for a reply as she went in search of Rebekah and caught her just as she was leaving the house. “Rebekah, hey,” Rebekah turned expectantly, brushing her hair back. “What is it?” “I know you and Klaus are having issues but are we still on for training?” Caroline wondered. “I can’t. Not today. I have things I have to do in the Quarter.” Rebekah answered, her eyes no longer held the death glare she’d been giving Klaus all morning. “Maybe tomorrow.” Caroline nodded. “Is there anything I can help with?” Rebekah smiled at the offer. “No. Why don’t you ask Klaus to train you today, I’m sure he be more than happy to fill in for your trainer for the day. God knows, he'd take any chance to spend quality time with you.” she gave a faint smile. “And Maybe by some miracle, it will make him more tolerable to the rest of us.” Caroline watched as Rebekah walked out the door before heading back to the dining room where Klaus still was, she walked back into the room and took her seat, aware Klaus was watching her expectantly. “So what do you think about helping me train today?” Klaus fought back a smile at the hopeful look in her eyes as she stared at him expectantly. “How could I possibly say no to you, Love,” Caroline grinned, grabbing up a grape from a bowl and popping it into her mouth. Klaus watched her, fighting the urge to kiss her and taste the smile on her lips with his own, wanting to be enveloped in her light.   

Elijah laid on a bed in the small hut, Hayley stood beside the bed, hovering in concern. “Here, drink this.” she handed him a cup.   Elijah swallowed down its contents but immediately started to cough. “Forgive me. Please,” he asked of her.   “It's okay,” Hayley assured him, she didn’t blame him. If anyone was to blame it was Klaus. “Remind me to annihilate your brother once you're healthy.” “Yes, remind me to remind you to get in line,” said Elijah in reply.   “It doesn't help that we decided to shack up in a swamp either,” Hayley said and walked outside for some fresh air but when she heard Elijah start to cough even more she returned to his side quickly. “Are you okay?” “I'm fine. Please just... return to your reading,” he told her, not wanting her to worry about him.   “I went through the whole thing. It's just a regular Bible.” Hayley told him. “With an entry in a family tree, that may or may not be me, but you know I've been a little busy worrying about you.” “Hayley, please. This fever will make me unstable. And once the hallucinations begin I'll start to see things. You must leave me here.” Elijah implored not wanting to accidentally hurt her.   “I'm not leaving you like this.” Hayley denied him immediately. Neither was aware of the woman lurking around just outside of the hut in the nearby woods, watching them. 

Marcel arrived at the meeting that he had called. All the vampires in the Quarter had gathered in one place.   “All right, I'm here,” said Marcel. “Let's do this.I'll keep this simple.” he waved a hand at Tyler who was seated in a chair among them. “This kid is an old enemy of your favorite person Klaus. And he's got plenty to say about what that traitor, son of a bitch, has been up to behind my back. Now, for those of you faint of heart, there's the door. Because those who stick around, you're signing up for battle.” Not one vampire left the room and Marcel nodded proudly. "You all know Klaus wasn't always the hybrid. When he broke the curse that kept his werewolf side dormant, somewhere in all that, certain parts were now able to trump his vampire side. Like the ability to pass on the werewolf gene.” Tyler addressed the room. “That's where the werewolf girl he's been hiding from you all comes in. She rode through my town, pretended to be my friend and then ends up hooking up with him. Now she's pregnant with his spawns. Twins.” “What the hell is this?” Demanded Diego. How were they expected to trust anything this boy said when they had no idea who he is or what his true goals are.     “Just listen,” Marcel told him, seeing the distrust in the way his friend stood.   “When Klaus became the hybrid, he figured out a way to turn full-bread werewolves into creatures like him.” Tyler continued, raising his hand. “You're looking at one of them. On the plus side, we had all the perks of being vampires. We're stronger, faster. And the toxins in our bites could still kill a vampire. But on the downside, we were loyal to him. Like, supernaturally loyal.” “Right, and that's why you're here, spilling all his secrets?” Diego shot back doubtfully.   “That's the point, Diego.” Marcel shot his guy a look. “He figured out a way to break free of it.”   “And I helped the rest of them too. Then Klaus killed them for their betrayal.” Tyler said, his hate evident in his eyes.   “Because that is what Klaus does.” Rebekah walked into the room. “Don't mind me, I'm fascinated by this story. Hello, Tyler.” “Rebekah.” Tyler returned. “Long time no see.” “What Tyler was about to tell you is that my brother can use his children's blood to sire more hybrids. What you will all figure out is that vampires don't stand a chance. So, Tyler, I assume you were trying to rally this lot into making sure these babies aren't born.” Said Rebekah knowingly. “Yeah. You don't like it? Go on and take your brother's side.” Tyler sneered at her. “But you know I'm right.” “I believe you've mistaken the ladies intentions,” Marcel told Tyler, moving to stand beside her.   “Alright. What's going on?” questioned Diego.   “You were absolutely right, Tyler,” Rebekah told him. “My brother is a crap enough individual as it is. The last thing he needs is to sire a superior species." she looked at Marcel. "Go on, you can tell them.” “She's not here to fight us, she's here to help us,” Marcel informed the room full of his guys. “That's right. But first…” Rebekah appeared in front of Tyler snapping his neck and watched as his body went crashing to the floor and then she turned sitting down in the chair he had been sitting in.  “That is enough talk about harming those unborn babies. Klaus is the one we're putting a stop to.” “Now, the babies are off limits but Tyler happened to mention the best way to get to Klaus was through a blonde vampire he keeps relatively close.” Marcel addressed. Rebekah’s eyes widened as she realized who Marcel was speaking of. She stood slowly. “Tyler told you about Caroline?” Marcel turned back to her. “Yes, he mentioned Klaus is obsessed with her and that she’s a trigger point for him which makes her the best bargaining chip any of us could have asked for.” “And did he also tell you she was his girl before coming here to New Orleans. You can’t trust anything he says about Caroline.” Rebekah said firmly, hating the idea that Marcel wanted to use Caroline as a pawn in their game against Klaus. “Are you saying that he’s wrong. That she doesn’t mean anything to your brother?” Diego stepped forward. “Becuase if that’s the case it shouldn’t matter what happens to her.” Rebekah's eyes narrowed. “I didn’t say that.” “Then what are you saying?” Marcel stepped toward her. “I’m saying she is not a part of this and doesn’t deserve to be a discarded pawn in this game with Klaus.” Rebekah grounded out. “I won’t let you kill her just to get at my brother.” Marcel stepped forward and set his hands on her shoulders. “No one said anything about killing her. I’m just suggesting we use her to draw him out, set a trap, if he cares about her there’s no way he would leave her to fend for herself against me and our guys.” Rebekah pursed her lips knowing better than anyone that if Klaus believed Caroline was in danger he wouldn’t hesitate in throwing caution to the wind to save her. He had chosen her over his family more than once. Slowly she nodded. “Fine but she’s not to be killed.” She sent a harsh glare around the room. Marcel slid his hands up her neck his thumbs brushing her jawline. “She’ll make it out of this and once Klaus is taken care of we’ll let her go. I promise.” Rebekah nodded even as a twinge of guilt crept into her chest on Caroline’s behalf but she took a fortifying breath, steadying herself. This was her way of finally be free of her brother’s controlling grasp. She had to do this. For not only herself but for her family. Everyone Klaus has ever betrayed or hurt. 

Caroline shifted carefully on her feet, watching Klaus closely the way he stood, his body motion, the movement of his footwork. It was a struggled not to get distracted when all he wore was a pair of jeans, his shirt discarded. “If you really pay attention to your opponent's body, their language, their movements, you have a real chance of knowing what they're going to do before they even do it,” Klaus instructed. “Like dancing?” Caroline questioned stepping left just as he stepped to the right. A smirk tugged at Klaus’s lips as he looked her over, enjoying the view of her in a pair of black yoga pants and a yellow workout top. “Like dancing.” Caroline felt a smile tugging at her lips at his smirk. It was almost involuntarily, she bit down on her bottom lip, tugging it in between her teeth and noticed almost instantly Klaus' distraction, his gaze zeroing in on her mouth, his steps faltering. She grinned inwardly and moved in swinging her fist, catching him across the jaw while he had been distracted. Klaus stumbled back out of surprise more than anything else but Caroline didn't let up she swung at him again but he blocked with his forearm, she swung another right hook but he caught it sidestepping her reach, slipping behind her and holding her arm across her shoulder and neck, he grabbed her other arm and pinned it behind her, pressing in close to her. Caroline grunted pulling on her arms, but Klaus’s grip was too tight. “That was a good shot,” Klaus leaned into her neck, whispering in her ear, his breath fanning out against her skin. “Really commendable, love. You saw I was distracted and seized on the opportunity without hesitation.” “I never fail to miss an opportunity.” Caroline jerked her head back and slammed it into his, making his hold on her loosen, she stomped on his foot next, making him release his hold as he took a step back and she turned quickly thrusting her palm out against his chest, forcing him further back but Klaus grabbed her around the waist and slammed her into the ground, his body hovering over hers. Caroline groaned when her back hit the ground hard, Klaus’s body pinned against her, his hands gripped her shoulders, keeping her pressed down. “Nice try, love but still not good enough,” he smirked down at her. “But points for effort.” Caroline pouted up at him. “That hurt,” One of Klaus’s hand released her shoulder, trailing down her side and slipped behind her back, stroking it soothingly. “I could make it better.” Caroline smiled to herself, hoping to keep him distracted, she slowly slid her hand up his arm, watching as his expression shifted minutely, less guarded but no less focused. She slid her hand up to his shoulder, smiling to herself when he leaned down his mouth brushing against her, softly at first then he pressed forward more, pressing his mouth more firmly against hers. Caroline grinned her hand sliding up further curving around the back of his neck, she raised her leg and hooked it around his, her hips arching against him. Klaus moved his hands from her back and planted his palms on the ground beside her head as he grounded against her instinctively. Caroline tried to keep her mind focus on her task at hand but his grinding made it difficult, sending tiny shocks of heated pleasure through her, steeling herself against the feelings swirling inside her stomach, she gripped onto him, tightening her hold and used the strength of her body, twisting her hips and successfully flipping them. Klaus pulled his mouth from hers, staring up from beneath her as she now straddled him, one hand wrapped around his neck the other planted against his chest. Caroline loved the surprised look in his eyes. “You should never let your guard down in the presence of an opponent, Klaus.” she grinned proudly. Klaus grinned back, he jolted up his arms banding around her to keep her from falling back at the sudden move and pressed her tightly against his bare chest. “You’re very right, love “ he slid a hand up her back and cup the back of her neck, tugging her down. “but I’m not gonna complain at the moment.” Caroline's eyes slid shut as his mouth covered hers in a heated kiss, his tongue licking at the seam of her mouth. She moved the hand around his neck over his shoulder, pulling herself closer, his tongue sliding against hers, hand squeezing her hip. Caroline smoothed her hand planted on his chest up to his jaw, pulling back from the kiss, her chest rising and falling, eyes sliding open to stare into his eyes that darken with lust. Klaus stared up at her waiting, this was the first time he had kissed her since before Stefan had called and interrupted them. She had said she didn’t have regrets but there hadn' been anything more since then and he didn’t really know where they stood. But she was spending more time with him, smiling and flirting, and when he kissed her she didn’t hesitate to respond. That had to mean something, didn’t it? He felt the feeling of anxiety that filled his chest when she pulled away ease as she smiled slowly at him, her hands cupping his face as she leaned back down, her mouth moving over his with purpose. He groaned when she pressed more tightly against him, her chest against his, her legs tightening around his hips, right before she grounded against him. He groaned, his cock hardened as she grounded against him, his left hand slid down her back to her ass, cupping the flesh in his hand as he thrust up against her. Caroline gasped and he wasted no time in exploring her mouth with his tongue, a hand wrapping around her blonde ponytail, gripping it in his fist. Caroline grounded down her hips, grinding, quietly moaning into his mouth, feeling him hard and pressing against her. “ Oh God , I’m sorry.” Caroline wrenched her mouth from Klaus’s at the sound of a female voice, Klaus groaned in disappointment, leaning his forehead against her chest. Caroline turned her head and saw Camille standing in the doorway, face flushing in embarrassment as she stared at them. “I��m sorry, I knocked but no one answered.” She apologized, her eyes going to Klaus. Klaus lifted his head to glare at the other blonde. “Then you should have gone away.” “I’m only here because of you.” Camille accused, affronted by his rudeness. Caroline looked between the two. “Right, I almost forgot you got her helping you by getting close to Marcel.” Klaus sighed at the reminder. Knowing he needed to know if there was anything new with Marcel. Still, it didn’t make him feel any better when Caroline pushed off him. “C’mon, up you go.” Caroline held a hand out to him to help him up. Klaus glanced down at his tinted sweats and back up at her with a frustrated look. “I am up.” Caroline snorted. “We can pick things back up later.” Klaus' eyes shot to her in surprise and he accepted her help, getting back to his feet, he pulled her toward him and pressed his mouth against her in a hard kiss. “I’m gonna hold you to that.” Caroline bit her lip and tugged him down for another kiss, ignoring Camille’s presence for the moment and only pulling away when she heard the other woman make an impatient noise. “You do that, I’m going to take a shower.” she pulled away from him, brushing past Cami. “Be sure to put a shirt on,” she called over her shoulder. Klaus watched her go before turning his gaze to Camille and feeling a flash of annoyance. “You have excellent timing.” “I didn’t know I was going to walk in on you and Carol going at it like that.” Camille protested, her eyes moving over him when they drifted down to his obvious problem, she flushed. “ Caroline ,” Klaus said sharply. Camille's eyes snapped up at his angry tone. “Her name is Caroline and you should do well to remember it.” he pushed past her. “Wait here, why I get a change of clothes, then we’ll debrief.” Klaus didn’t give her a chance to respond, leaving her there standing in the doorway. Alone. 

After Camille told him all she had gathered from Marcel in the last couple days, Klaus instructed her to start writing his memoirs, and she had taken a seat on the couch writing with an old-fashioned typewriter. Klaus paced in front of the window, a glass of whiskey in hand as he spoke.  “They have all forsaken me except for Caroline. My siblings are as deceitful in disease just as my parents ever were. Accusing me of using my children for my own gain, trusting others before their own blood. The only one I feel like is on my side is Caroline.” “Would a laptop kill you?” Cami complained, annoyed with having to use the old technology and hear Klaus praising Caroline. “That typewriter was good enough for Hemingway,” Klaus replied, uncaring of her complaints.   “I see the resemblance.” Cami retorted. “Booze and random acts of violence.” Klaus chose to ignore her irrelative comments. “Elijah and Rebekah have cut to the quick with their vicious lies about me. And all I've done is tried to win this battle of wills over Marcel's control of the quarter in order to reclaim our home.” He glared at her in annoyance noticing she was not typing. “Type, please!” “What's the point? You just repeat the same thing over and over again. Rebekah's out to get you. Elijah's out to get you. Is there anyone who isn't plotting your downfall?” Cami challenged. “I doubt you trust your own reflection.” “Caroline,” Klaus said. “What?” Cami’s brow pulled together in confusion.   “You asked if there was anyone I trust and that’s not something that comes easy to me but if there’s anyone I trust even a fraction it's her.” “You trust her more than your own family?” Cami question in surprise. “If the daggers weren't missing I would put one in each of their hearts. Rid my self of the burden of my siblings for a couple of centuries.” Klaus mused in response, ignoring her question because the answer should have been obvious.   “Look at you! Repeating the same destructive cycles over and over again.” Cami exclaimed. “You are the architect of your own unhappiness.” “Who the hell says I’m unhappy.” Klaus shot back at her. He was finally making real progress with Caroline, it had him feeling more than he could remember feeling in over a century. Still, he didn’t like that this human was questioning him. “I don't remember asking for your advice.” “Oh, really? So of all the people in New Orleans, you choose someone with a masters in psychology to record your life story. You're over a thousand years old. Pretty damn sure you know how to type.” Cami argued offended at the way he talked down to her. “The truth is: You compelled me to come here because you have no one else to talk to, and you want to be understood. Then you compel me to forget everything as soon as I leave your presence because you are too scared to trust anyone.” Klaus opened his mouth to protest. But she cut him off. “Oh, I’m sorry except for Caroline, do the two of you even talk or do you just stick your tongues down each other’s throats?” “Hold your tongue when you speak of Caroline you know nothing about her and have no right to say a single thing about her, keep your judgments to yourself. Secondly, I’m scared of nothing.” Klaus snatched up a piece of paper with strange signs on it.  “What is this?” “It's an ancient mystical plot I'm using to destroy you,” she responded with sarcasm earning a look of pure distrust from Klaus. “Relax, it's a tattoo design.” “Draw on your own time.” he glared annoyed.   “This is my time. You steal it from me!” she snapped, picking up her things and stormed off, Klaus rolled his eyes in annoyance with her dramatic display. “You chase off your compelled therapist already.” Caroline appeared in the doorway dressed in jeans and a dark green tank top and blue jean jacket, her blonde hair falling around her shoulders. “I didn’t much care for her opinions,” he smirked as he looked her over. “I only care for one blonde’s opinions and well she’s snarky and never fails to tell me off when I spark her ire.” “She sounds pretty great.” Caroline stepped forward. “You should keep her around.” Klaus' eyes darkened and he reached out pulling her forward turning her to press her into the wall. “Oh, I plan to keep her for as long as she’ll allow me to.” he ducked down covering her mouth and swallowing her moans as he pressed every inch of his body against hers. 

Marcel and Rebekah took Tyler’s temporarily dead body to the garden. “Where do you want him?” Marcel questioned.   “Just put him anywhere handy until Klaus is taken care of,” Rebekah responded. “Where are we gonna put, Klaus? He needs to be away from all the others. We don't want him fomenting descent. You know he has a knack with words, he could talk his way out of hell.” “Yeah, he's got a spot picked out for him in the back. Only person he's gonna be talking to in the next 52 years is himself.” “52?” Rebekah repeated, curious by the specific number. “One for each year that he kept you daggered in the 1800s.” Marcel clarified.   “You mean you let him keep me daggered?” Rebekah challenged at the reminder.   “And I'll spend every year Klaus is in here apologizing to you for it,” Marcel promised.   “Well, I'll settle for long enough to experience just a little bit of happiness. And ensure that my niece and nephew aren't turned to hybrid breeding machines.” Rebekah responded. “It's gonna be tough to keep him in here. That little witch of yours would put the odds in our favor.” “I can't risk it.” Marcel shot the idea down. “She's got less and less control over her magic lately. I can't even get her out of the church attic, much less rely on her to go to battle against Klaus.” “Then we'll need your very best warriors,” Rebekah stated. “Klaus is strong and crafty, and betrayal makes him particularly nasty. And if you plan on using Caroline I don’t think your ready for how ugly it can get.” “What we're doing is nothing Klaus hasn't done to both you and your brother a dozen times over. You're not getting second thoughts now, are you?” Marcel questioned.   “These aren't second thoughts. They're feelings of regret.” Rebekah told him. “I should have buried him a hundred years ago. A hundred years we could've been together.” Marcel stepped toward her, pressing his mouth to hers, he enjoyed kissing her but he still felt like something else was bothering her. He pulled back watching her closely. “What is it?” Rebekah frowned, eyes troubled. “I don’t like having to involve Caroline in all this. You don’t know her but she’s not bad a person. We haven’t always got along but things with her and I are different now. I consider her a friend.” Marcel knew she was right, he didn’t know Caroline but he did meet her and while she was charming he also knew instinctively she was nothing like the company she kept. There was no way someone like her was with Klaus which confused him as to why she seemed to matter so much to the biggest monster there was. “I don’t intend for her to get hurt, we’re just going to use her to draw your brother out and make him more compliant. If he cares about her as much as you believe then he’s not gonna want her in danger. I promise you as soon as Klaus is taken care of, I’ll let her go, unharmed.” Rebekah nodded, pressing forward, her body to his, their lips meeting in a shared kiss, one with feeling and longing and a history that couldn’t be forgotten. 

Hayley stared out at the lake just outside of the cabin, the quiet of the bayou was almost serene and she found herself feeling more at home here than she did in the Victorian mansion she was staying in with the Mikaelson. However her quiet was broken by the sound of Elijah groaning in pain, she turned walking back into the hut and approached the bed he was laying on, sitting on the edge beside him, she pressed her hand to his forehead in concern. 

A beautiful coral woman was soaking in a bathtub when Elijah walked into the room.

“Celeste?” Elijah’s voice was hoarse as he called for a woman. Elijah's brow furrowed when he saw a flash of brown hair and perfect olive skin, his hand reached out cupping Hayley’s cheek. Hayley instinctively leaned into his touch, feeling his thumb stroke her jawline. “Elijah.” “Katerina.” Elijah breathed, his voice full of longing. Hayley sucked in a sharp breath, jerking her face out of his grasp. Elijah’s eyes widened as suddenly he was no longer seeing Katherine but Hayley. Hayley clenched her jaw, irritation filling her, she didn’t know who Celeste was and she didn’t care and more importantly, she didn’t appreciate being mistaken for Katherine of all people.   “Hayley, I'm sorry.” he apologized guilt nagging at him. “I thought you were someone else.” “Or Several someones,” she replied, trying to push her ire away. “Celeste. Whoever she was, she was smokin' hot.” Elijah frowned, concerned. “Did I let you enter my thoughts? I'm not well. I should go. This is…” “This is fine, Elijah. You're sick, I'm taking care of you.” Hayley dismissed his concern. “Though I can’t say I’m thrilled about being called Katherine. I wasn’t aware you and she have a history." “A very long and complicated one.” Elijah looked past her, there was a woman outside, staring in at them. “We're being watched.” Hayley caught a glimpse of the woman when she turned to look and quickly went outside to investigate. The older woman stood near the hut but when she saw Hayley she took off on a run.   “Hey. Hey!” Hayley called after her but didn’t follow her. She couldn’t leave Elijah   

Klaus walked into the garage, his eyes focused on Josh who stood looking at a car, silently he walked up to stand behind the baby vamp.   “God, man!” Josh turned, suddenly, realizing Klaus was just standing behind him, watching him like prey. “I'll never get used to that. Why do I get the feeling you studied theater?” “All the world's a stage, young Joshua,” Klaus responded, easily. “And it just so happens I have the role of a lifetime for you.” 

Josh dove down the road while talking to Marcel and Rebekah on his cell. “ What do you got, Josh? ” Asked Marcel.   “What do I got?” Josh repeated. “Klaus wants me to steal some dagger from you. It's a test, okay? He knows I'm working for you, I'm sure of it.” “ That bastard wants to dagger us again .” Rebekah seethed, eyes darkening in anger. “ He deserves everything he's gonna get. ” “ Relax ,” Marcel told Josh, hearing the anxiety and fear in the younger vampire's voice. “ If he knew, he would've ripped your spine out through your nose by know. ” “Oh, great. Now I feel totally at ease!” Josh returned sarcastically. “What am I supposed to do?” “ You tell him you searched high and low but you couldn't find the dagger, ” Marcel instructed.   Josh groaned in dread. “God, I'm so dead.” Marcel continued as if Marcel hadn’t spoken. “ Then you tell him you saw I had it on me and if he wants it he'll have to come and get it. Which won't be easy as I'm paranoid and I've beefed up my posse.” 

Back in the garage, Josh continued to talk to Klaus, playing his part.  “Right, so, not doubting your mad vampire skills of destruction or anything, but Marcel's on red alert. Surrounded by, like, an army. You're totally boned. Unless…” “Unless what?” Klaus asked.   “I overheard him arguing with Diego. Apparently, he's clearing out the compound tonight for a date or something.” Josh lied, hoping Klaus wouldn’t see through him. "That's where Marcel will be." “When I run New Orleans, there will be a permanent daylight ring in it for you, Joshua,” Klaus promised. “For services rendered on to your true king.” “Cool,” Josh responded, smiling nervously.   “But if you ever betray me, I will make sure you spend the rest of your eternal life in exquisite agony, wishing for a merciful death.” Klaus threatened, his eyes menacing, he patted Josh on the shoulder and walked away. “Adiós, Klaus,” Josh said when he was gone.   

Caroline was sitting on the porch on the plantation home, sipping at a glass of blood, speaking into the phone with Elena. “So Katherine’s human now?” She hadn’t realized just how much she was missing of what has been going on back in Mystic Falls of late. She mainly talked to her mother and Stefan and neither of them had mentioned what was going on back home. “ Serves her right and let’s just say human does not look good on her .” Caroline could hear the smile in Elena’s voice, Caroline, however, couldn’t help but frown. Don’t get her wrong, she was in no way friends with Katherine of all people but she couldn’t imagine how awful it must be to be human again after being a vampire as long as Katherine has been one. Caroline herself could never imagine going back to being human, she loved being a vampire. She felt more home in her own skin now than she ever did when she was human. Being a vampire was who she was. She couldn’t help but think Katherine must have felt the same thing. “How is she dealing? With everything I mean?” Elena fell silent for just a moment. “ Do you actually care about Katherine?” “I just think it must be difficult to go from being a vampire for over 400 years and then back to a weak human. It must be a terrible adjustment.” “ Caroline .” Elena sighed. “ Sometimes you care too much about people you shouldn’t. Speaking of which, how is Klaus? You’re not letting him mess with your head, are you? He’s not someone you should be getting mix up with. Look at the mess he got you in already. ” Caroline pulled the phone away from her ear, glaring. Was it wrong that she wanted to throw in Elena’s face that getting involved with Damon wasn’t a good idea yet it was still something Elena did without any regards to anyone else? Sighing, she put the phone back to her ear. “Klaus isn’t the problem here. This city is at war with itself and unfortunately, I got caught in the middle.” “ Yeah, because of Klaus, if it wasn’t for him -” Her phone buzzed with another call and she pulled it away and saw Rebekah’s name flashing across the screen. She quickly put the phone to her ear again. “I gotta go, Elena.” she didn’t wait for a reply and hung up. She quickly accepted Rebekah’s call. “Hey, Rebekah.” Caroline much rather talk to Rebekah than listen to all the accusation and blame Elena wanted to lay on Klaus. 

Elijah entered the room, Celeste was soaking in the bath at the sight of him she threw a sponge at him and he caught it. Celeste giggled, smiling, she said. ”Assistance, please, good sir.” “No, I'm much happier taking in such a wondrous view.” Responded Elijah, eyeing her with obvious appreciation. “ It's perfection.” “Your brother is again up to no good. He's challenging the gentry to duels as though they have any chance of a fair fight.” Celeste informed him, her dislike for his brother clear in her tone.   “I do grow weary of sacrificing my joy to temper my brother's mischief. Surely, you can cast a spell to put him in his place.” Elijah suggested.   “It would take a hundred witches to put him in his place,” said Celeste. “Besides, he only ever listens to you.” “Yes. He certainly needs a little discipline. Spanking of some kind is in order. I think I shall need some rehearsal.” His eyes shone with lust. “Come.” Celeste leaned forward, pressing her mouth to his, more than interested in his tempting offer. Elijah surroundings changed suddenly and he was on a bed, Katherina hovered above him, her long hair falling around them, as she leaned forward kissing him slowly, straddling his hips, her hand slowly unbuttoning his shirt the other gripped his chin. Elijah groaned as she ground her hips against his, her body seeking for something more. “Elijah, please,” she breathed, she had never been one to beg for anything but with him, she would and Elijah took delight in it. “Please, what?” his hand fisted in her hair, baring her neck to his mouth, sucking at her flesh. “Don’t tease me, I want you and I don’t want you holding back.” Katherine purred. Elijah grinned against her neck, Katherine let out a surprised gasp that quickly turned into a moan as he moved his body against hers, pressing into her. 

A shiver racked Elijah’s body, “Hayley, please.” Elijah groaned in pain. “This fever. My mind is flooded with these torturous memories. You have to leave.” “What is your deal? You don't like people taking care of you?” Hayley questioned. He kept trying to get her to leave even though there was no way she was going to do that. Not to him.   “There are consequences for those that care. I will not have you pay that price.” Said Elijah, every real connection he had with a woman never ended well.   “So you're having weird retro sex dreams about two different women? Get over it, I'm staying.” She told him, dismissing his concerns. “What about our visitor?” Elijah questioned. “What does she want?” “I'm guessing she's the one that left the mystery Bible on the doorstep last night,” said Hayley. “Would be nice if she'd stick around long enough to tell me why.” “Hayley, you came here to gather any information about your family, not to play nursemaid to a vampire with a temperature. Please, find her.” Elijah urged her to go. “Learn what you can.” “No, I'm staying,” Hayley responded firmly. 

Caroline glanced down at her phone, Rebekah had asked her to meet her in the Quarter, thinking nothing of it and that Rebekah just didn’t want to see Klaus again, she agreed to meet her. She didn’t care about staying hidden on the plantation anymore, she was learning to handle older vampires so she could handle herself pretty well. She looked around at the bar, Rebekah asked her to wait outside for her. She was ten minutes late. She was just about to call Rebekah when she heard the blonde’s voice. “Sorry for having you come all the way out here.” Caroline turned and saw her approaching her. “I just really can’t deal with Klaus, right now.” Rebekah continued. “He’s being a nightmare which is no different from any other day." Caroline knew Rebekah was entitled to her anger with Klaus but she also couldn’t help the strong feeling of needing to defend him. “He’s not that bad.” “To you.” Rebekah snorted. “But to the rest of us? His family? He’s a bloody nightmare, we can’t turn our backs on him for a second because we never know how he will strike out against us.” Caroline pursed her lips. “I know you're upset with him about Elijah but he was hurt by Elijah and Hayley’s accusations and he lashed out. He cares more for those children then he wants to admit.” Rebekah paused, eying Caroline closely. “He talks to you and you try to see things through his perspective. I hadn’t realized you guys were closer more so than you already were.” She hadn't realized how much Klaus obviously let Caroline in past his walls. “I decided to stop basing my judgments based off of others and only on what I know of him and Klaus, he would never intentionally let anything happen to me. He cares for me and if I’m being honest, I’ve really started to care for him.” “Klaus always did have a way of getting what he wants even when he doesn’t deserve it.” Rebekah felt guilt for what she was about to do but she pushed the feeling down and instead focused on her anger about Klaus. “I’m sorry you got mixed up in this.” Caroline looked at her confused. “What do you mean?” Rebekah frowned at her sadly. “When this is over I hope as a friend you can forgive me but this is something I have to do.” “Rebekah,” Caroline took a questioning step forward. “Forgive you for what? I don’t understand.” “I know.” Rebekah’s hands snapped out, gripping her by the neck and snapping it to the side, she let caroline’s body fall to the ground. “Let’s get her back to the compound.” Marcel appeared, scooping up Caroline’s body.   Rebekah looked at Caroline with a feeling of regret. “Hey,” she looked up at Marcel as he looked at her with an expression of sympathy. “She’ll forgive you. When this is done and Klaus is sealed away, you just have to give her some time.” Rebekah nodded, still looking uncertain and vamp sped off with him, taking Caroline’s unconscious form with them. 

“Caroline?” Klaus moved through the house in search of his favorite girl but the house was eerily silent. He frowned, moving from room to room but unable to find her, feeling a niggle of worry, he pulled out his phone, dialing her cell, waiting, impatiently for her to pick up, needing to hear her and silence the sudden voice in his head, telling him something’s wrong. “You reached Caroline, leave a message and I will get back to you. Maybe, Depends how I feel about you to be honest.” Klaus hung up angrily, hating that he only got her voice mail. His phone buzzed suddenly and hoped filled him that it was Caroline but that hope soon diminished when he saw Josh’s name flashing on the screen. “What?!” he barked into the phone.  “I’m a little busy, right now, I don’t have time to-” “ Marcel has Caroline, he realized you were after the dagger he has and decided he was going to take something from you. ” Josh's voice cut through quickly. “ He says if you want her back then you should come and get her.” Klaus’s eyes blackened, crushing his phone in his hand, shattering it to pieces an animalistic growl ripped from his chest, he turned vamp speeding away. There was no time to waste. He knew he was running into a trap but he didn’t care. Marcel had Caroline, that was all that mattered. Everything else was all inconsequential. 

“MARCEL!” Klaus appeared in Marcel’s courtyard, livid. “Where is she!?” “Klaus.” Marcel stepped out of the darkness of the courtyard.   “Where is Caroline?! What have you done to her?!” “You’re girl’s fine and she’ll stay that way as long as you comply with my demands.” Marcel pulled out one of the white ash daggers. “Give her back or so help me..” Klaus seethed, anger boiling beneath his veins. “You are in no place to be making demands.” Marcel stretched out his hand with the dagger towards Klaus. Klaus saw a flash of blonde hair and Rebakeh was suddenly there taking the dagger in her hand. Klaus’s angry eyes steeled over. “What is this?” he demanded. “Did you lure Caroline out to the Quarter so Marcel could get his hands on her?!” “I did what I had to,” Rebekah responded defensively. “I've had enough of your behavior, your actions, always lashing out, holding people accountable for wrongs against you and never taking any of the blame yourself. We have had enough.” “Look at you.” Klaus sneered. “Finally in possession of the one thing that can take you down. How does it feel?” “Great.” She responded with a small smirk. It felt good to finally have the upper hand on her traitorous dagger happy brother. Marcel whistled and a crowd of vampires appeared.   “So this is it?” Klaus questioned. “The evil bastard Klaus has gone too far. Must be punished. And by his own sibling, nonetheless. How positively biblical. And you, Marcel, is this,”  he pointed at Marcel’s crowd of vampires, “your idea of a hit? I taught you better than this poultry excuse for a takedown. Do you think you can subdue me - with this!?” “No. But I think I can with this.” Marcel whistled again, more vampires appeared, circling around Klaus just waiting for Marcel’s signal. “But I’m hoping it won’t be necessary.” Marcel waved his hand and two vampires came forward with Caroline in between them. “Let me go, you son of a bitch!” Caroline cursed angrily, struggling to break free. “You’re going to regret laying one hand on me.” At the sound of Caroline’s voice and the sight of her struggling against the two vampires holding her, Klaus saw red. “Now you’re going to comply with everything I say,” Marcel informed him. “Or your girl, Caroline here will suffer the consequences.” Caroline’s eyes darkened as she glared at Marcel and Rebekah with the dagger in her hand and it was clear to her that they wanted Klaus to accept being put down in exchange for her safety. Fucking screw that. “Don’t listen to a thing they say, Klaus.” Caroline met his blue eyes defiantly. “You’re a fighter. That’s what you do. It’s who you are.” she nodded at him sharply, wanting to get her point across. “So do it. Fight back.” Klaus stared back at her, her words echoing in his head resonating through him. He would do exactly as she said. But First. He vamped sped forward knocking the head off one of the vampires that held Caroline and ripping the heart out of the other and pulled Caroline to him, close to his body, his hand moving to grip her tightly before anyone could so much as make a move against him. He stared at Marcel angrily, Caroline gripped his hand back, glaring along with him, anger working through her, feeling betrayed. It was no wonder Klaus felt like he couldn’t trust anyone and everyone was out against him because from where she was standing at his side, facing down a crowd of enemies including the man who was like a son to him and his own sister, he wasn’t wrong in that assumption.

Elijah panted, his breathing irregular. Hayley sat beside him on the bed with her hand to his forehead, trying to soothe him as he seemed to be struggling against his own mind.   “Celeste.” he panted. “Forgive me. I'm sorry.”

Klaus stood back to back with another man revolvers in their hands. When Klaus spoke, he gave orders in French, he and the other man started walking away from each other and he counted down in French. “Huit, sept, six, cinq, Quatre, trois, deux.” Klaus and the man turned around simultaneously, aiming the revolvers and firing off shots. Klaus remained unharmed, while the man fell to the ground, dead with a perfect shot to his head.   “Is that it?” Klaus taunted smirking. “Is this the best New Orleans has to offer?” Another man walked forward and dragged the corpse to a pile of other dead bodies. “Brother!” Elijah arrives, making his presence known quickly followed by his disapproval. “Please, this is high folly. Is it not enough, you have slaughtered dozens in just these past several weeks? Word of a city littered with bodies will surely travel the oceans. Do you want to bring our father upon us?” “Relax, brother.” Klaus brushed off his brother’s concerns. “I've sent rumor that the bodies are a result of the witches seeking blood sacrifice for their rituals.” “You did what?” Elijah stared at his brother hard with a look of anger. “Have you forgotten? Celeste is one of those that you recklessly point your finger at.” “Who's Celeste?” asked Klaus.   Elijah shot Klaus a meaningful look, his brother knew exactly who Celeste was and why he would have a problem with what he has done.   “Oh, yes! The witch you've been knocking around with.” Klaus recalled with feigned sudden recognition. “Well, fear not. Harlots are like rats in the quarter. You trip over one every step you take.” Elijah pulled out a revolver and fired at his brother. Klaus groaned in pain when the bullet struck him. “You care about her. Well, that is unfortunate. I hear they're rounding up the towns witches as we speak.” Elijah stared at his brother in betrayal. “Niklaus! I’ll kill you, you bastard!” he rushed forward but the moment he reached him, everything around him changed and Katerina stood in front of him. Her long hair falling around her shoulders, lips painted red. “Why can’t you ever choose me?” she questioned, eyes looking at him imploringly. “You know how much I care about my family,” Elijah told her. Katerine reaching forward taking his hands in her and holding them against her heart. “And what about how you care about me? When you’re family comes in to play does what you feel for me just disappear? Is that how this works?” her hands tightened on his, her look becoming hard, eyes glaring. “Tell me, Elijah.” “You know how I feel about you, Katerina. I love you, I always have.” Katerine dropped her hands, stepping away from him with a look of disgust. “But it will never be enough, will it? How much longer are you going to let Klaus rule your life?” “Katerina.” Elijah took a step toward her but she smacked his hand away when he reached her. “If that awful brother is who you choose then go to him, I’m tired of being second to the man whose sole purpose is to kill me like he did my entire family.” Elijah called after her, his hand reaching out but she was gone, he whirled around and Klaus was there laughing. “What a pathetic display, brother.” Klaus taunted, his eyes glinting with mockery. “I don’t know what’s more pathetic, you or your feelings for Katerina?” The scene changed again and suddenly Katerina was in front of Klaus, his hand plunged into her chest, wrapping around her heart. “No!” Elijah roared but it was too late with one vicious yanked, the woman he had spent the last 500 years loving dropped to the ground dead, her heart in his brother’s hands. “God, please, no!” 

“Katerina!” Elijah's name tore from his mouth in a hoarse shout, grief-stricken he jolted up, another hoarse scream tore from his throat. Hayley looked at Elijah, worriedly. “Elijah?” “Niklaus! How could you!?” He whirled on her, not seeing her but Klaus. “All you have ever done is take from me but to rip her away from me! I’ll never forgive you. You'll pay for what you have done. I will kill you myself!!” Hayley slowly got off the bed, cautiously. “Elijah?” she asked scared.   Elijah jumped up, wrapping his hand around Hayley’s neck. Hayley struggled to breathe, his grip so tight cutting off her air supply. She clawed at his hand, fighting for air. A loud bang echoed as the door hit the wall, Hayley caught sight of Dwayne bursting into the room over Elijah’s shoulder. Elijah was torn from her and she watched shock as Dwayne snapped the leg off a chair and slammed it into Elijah’s heart, his skin greying instantly as he collapsed to the ground. Hayley tensed as Dwayne turned to her but when she looked into his eyes all she could see was concern. “Are you alright?” “Yeah,” she nodded, gasping, catching her breath, frowning. “Have you been watching me?” “Yes,” a woman voice answered and Hayley looked around to see an older woman enter the cabin. The same one who had watched them through the window. “And he’s not the only one.” Hayley looked at the woman surprised. “Well, hello to you, too.” 

Klaus stood in the middle of Marcel’s vampires, his hand wrapped tightly around Caroline’s protectively, he looked out at the vampires than to her, his jaw clenching. He was going to have to tear through all of them and she would have to see it, a part of him feared letting her see his darkest side, scared she would regret what was happening between them now. He felt her hand tightened around his and he looked down at their clasp hands, he felt her step closer to him, her body brushing against his and he looked up at her slowly, the look in her blue eyes surprising him, it was hard and unrelenting but full of resolve and then she nodded at him and he knew without even exchanging one word that she was telling him she understood, she would fight at his side. That they would take on this threat together. He didn’t know how she conveyed so much in one look without saying a single word, but he felt it in his bones and it made him fall for her even more than he already had. He nodded at her, trusting her as they stood surrounded in the middle of Marcel’s vampires.   “Let's end this charade, shall we? Vampires of New Orleans!” Klaus called out, looking around at the men and women surrounding them. “Do recall that I am an Original. A hybrid. I cannot be killed. Eternity is an awfully long time. How long, do you think, Marcel will stay in power? What if one of you lot were to release me, knowing I will be eternally in your debt? Oh, I would pity those of you who dared to cross me. I can assure you, your ends would be spectacular. To borrow a trick from an old friend.” He stretched out a hand with a coin in it. “Whoever picks up... this coin... gets to live.” He dropped the coin. “Now which of you, magnificent bastards wants to join me?” He looked at Caroline then back to the vampires. “Join us?” “Anyone wants that coin, pledge allegiance to Klaus. Take it now. Go ahead.” Marcel told his vampires, he wasn’t going to take that decision from his guys. “The choice is yours.” However, not a single vampire moved to pick up the coin. Klaus shifted on his feet, looking around surprised that not a single one turned their back on Marcel for a chance to join him, the Original Hybrid. Marcel looked at him, proud of the loyalty his guys showed, proud that his trust in them wasn’t misplaced. “Take them,” he ordered. Two vampires moved straight for Caroline but Klaus moved her behind him before she could react and plunged his hands into their chest ripping them out, and dropping them to the ground, he stretched both his bloody hands out invitingly for them to just come at him and try. He was ready. Caroline was not going to stand idly by she stepped out beside him, her body tense and ready for a fight, chin raised defiantly. More vampire descended upon them and Caroline struck out, slamming her hand in one chest, she dropped down swept her leg out, knocking off his feet once he was on his back she plunged her hand into his chest cavity, her fingers curling around his heart and yanked out his heart. There was no time to think about what she just did as she moved onto the next vampire, seeing Klaus out of the corner of her eye tearing through the vampires viciously. It was a flurry of sharp brutal attacks, fighting off the enemy back to back with Klaus. The strange thing was, fighting beside him, him trusting her to have his back without a single doubt, she never felt more like someone’s equal in her life and it was exhilarating. She moved faster, her blows harsher as adrenaline coursed through her veins. Klaus allowed himself a moment to watch Caroline embracing the darker part of being a vampire and the way she excelled at it, blood coated her hands, her vampire visage shining through, eyes darkened with bloodlust. She was beautiful even as she embraced the darkness. In his distraction, Marcel vampires, secured chains around his wrists and tried to bind him instead he yanked them to him, using the chain as a weapon. Caroline grabbed a hold of a vampire, flipping him over her head, and smashing her foot into his neck, snapping it. More and more vampires were more focused on Klaus and eventually, they got the upper-hand taking him down, dragging him away, hitting him repeatedly. Caroline caught sight of them dragging him back and she fought harder slamming her foot into another vampire, knocking him back and turning to go to Klaus, he caught her by the shoulder and tossed her back, her back colliding roughly with stone, causing her to give a cry of pain. Klaus' head snapped up, his eyes shining amber gold, his hybrid feature prominent, expression dark and vivid. An animalistic growl tore from his chest. Rebekah stared on wide-eyed, paralyzed by disbelief. In all her years with Klaus, she had never seen him like this. And honestly, fear crept inside her heart, not unlike the fear she felt for being daggered. Hearing Caroline cry out had Klaus tearing through the vampires with a vengeance, using his thousand-year-old strength to rip limbs off, knocking off heads and ripping out hearts, blood coated his hands, he yanked one vampire to him tearing into a vampire’s neck so viciously his head came off, blood dripped from his chin, as he ran for the one standing in front of Caroline as she pushed herself back to her feet. He yanked the vampire back and wrapped his hands around his skull and pulled, tearing the flesh straight from his shoulder, blood spraying him, he tossed the head aside as the vampire’s body hit the ground. Caroline stared at him in shock for a moment before she moved to his back, pressing her's against his, ready to fend off his enemies.   Klaus feeling invigorated with Caroline at his back, shouted. “Marcel! Come and finish this!” Marcel moved readily to run at Klaus. “No!” Rebekah grabbed his arm tightly, holding him back. “Take the coin!” Marcel looked at her confused by her sudden change, this was their chance and it just may be the only chance they get. “What?” “He won't stop until everyone is dead.” Rebekah was desperate, realizing their mistake. They thought taking him down would be simple and easy with it all planned out. They had been wrong. “And he will kill you too. End this. Pick up the coin!” Marcel looked out, watching his guys die, Klaus and Caroline both coated in their blood. “Enough!” he shouted, loud and clear, his voice like a boom in the courtyard.   Suddenly the room fell absolutely silent, what remained of Marcel’s vampires freezing in place, Marcel crouched, locking eyes with Klaus and picked up the coin. “Well, well, well,” Klaus smirked, blood coating his mouth and staining his chin. “The great Marcel, self-proclaimed king of New Orleans, bowing before me.” Marcel threw away the coin in Klaus' direction and he caught it easily in his hand.   “There.” Marcel snapped, glaring, his tone bitter. “I hereby pledge my allegiance to you. You have the keys to my kingdom. It's yours.” Klaus smiled and held out a hand to Caroline and she took it instinctively, uncaring of the blood that wet their hands, as their hands locked together, a sign of loyalty and support. Caroline looked at Marcel and then for Rebekah but she had disappeared, and Caroline felt the sting of her betrayal like a knife, twisting inside her. And she wondered was this what Klaus felt every time he felt his family had betrayed him? No wonder trust was the hardest thing for him. 

Hayley had followed the woman, Eve outside, where the woman had a bonfire going. Dwayne kept close to Hayley, she could feel his eyes watching her constantly. “I'm sure you got questions.” said the woman, looking at her expectantly.   “Only a thousand of them,” Hayley responded. “Like who are you? Why are you following me? Where the hell is everyone and if the people in this book really are my family, what happened to them?” “I'm Eve.” The woman said. “I'm following you because you brought an Original to a werewolf country which is pretty much the same reason why everybody else skedaddled. If you wanna know what happened to the people in that family tree, I'll sum it up nice and quick: Marcel happened." Hayley's jaw clenched, everything that happened seemed to always lead back to Marcel, the self-proclaimed ruler of New Orleans. “What did he do?”  “ “He killed most of them,” Eve informed her. “Later, the descendants of the ones who dodged death, he strong-armed a witch into putting a curse on them.” Hayley’s brow furrowed. “What kind of curse?”   “Swap nature around, inside out. Made it so their natural stay as wolves. They only turn back human on the full moon.” answered Eve matter of factly. “We're hunted by the marks we carry. That crescent moon birthmark - that's why I got rid of mine. I didn't wanna get found out.” “Good evening.” Elijah appeared, interrupting the two approaching Dwayne, looking worse for wear after coming back from being staked. “Think I might have something which belongs to you.” he held out the makeshift stake Dwayne used to dagger him. “Elijah wasn’t his self,” Hayley interjected. “He would never intentionally hurt me.”  Hayley turned to the Original they were discussing. “Elijah, I've got this.” her expression became concerned. “Are you okay?”   “The wound is healed, the fever is broken but for some strange reason I have this sharp and lingering sensation in my heart,” Elijah responded. Dwayne met his gaze head-on. “I did what I had to, I was protecting Hayley.”   “And you did,” Hayley assured him, hoping to distract him from glaring a hole through Elijah. Dwayne looked at her when she spoke and she was unnerved by the way he seemed to be hanging onto her every word like his well being depended on it. Having someone sire to you was definitely something she was going to need time to get used to. Hayley shook her head and turned back to Eve, addressing her. “I have to get him home. But I'll be back, okay? I need to know more.” “Keep that mark covered up.” Eve cautioned, before disappearing into the trees. Hayley turned to Dwayne, he was still watching her. “Dwayne, I want you to stay here.” She didn’t need a shadow watching her every move. Dwayne nodded, not even protesting or arguing against her words. “What happened?” Elijah asked as Hayley turned her gaze back to the trees as if she expected the woman Eve to return.   “I just met part of my family,” Hayley answered, a thin smile playing at her lips. If her family, her pack were out there, cursed by a witch then perhaps she could use her current alliance with Sophie to get her to undo it and give her family back. After all, she should at least get something a little more out of her deal with Sophie after how much she has held up her end. Her hand moved to her stomach, rubbing at the growing bump there absentmindedly. 

The dead vampires were covered in white sheets by Diego and some of the other surviving vampires. Marcel stood at the balcony watching as Diego, poured alcohol over the fallen vampires. “Looking at what you've wrought?” Klaus asked, approaching Marcel, blood still stained his clothes, but the blood that coated his mouth and face was gone, cleared away. “Look, if you're gonna kill me let's get this over with,” Marcel told him. Klaus looked at him. “When I heard you had Caroline. I wanted to. I wanted to rip you apart but you picked up the coin. There are rules of engagement in battle, Marcel. Without them, you'd have anarchy.” he paused, thinking of Caroline. “However if you would have harmed her even that wouldn’t have saved you. When it comes to her I don’t care about rules or anarchy.” his eyes narrowed, his mouth twisting with a dark frown. “I advise you to never go after Caroline again because I won’t hesitate to rip your heart out from your chest and present it to her for any wrongs against her.” Marcel stared at Klaus, his expression dark and unrelenting and knew Klaus wasn’t making an empty threat, wasn’t playing his usual games. He was completely serious. Marcel could practically feel this righteous anger coming off of Klaus on Caroline’s behalf. “I never intended to hurt her. She was just meant to be bait.” “Caroline isn’t just anything,” Klaus said sharply. “You’ll do well to remember that.” “I’ve really grown to hate being Klaus bait.” Klaus and Marcel both turned to Caroline approaching, like Klaus blood stained clothes her own were stained with blood but she had excused herself to clean the blood from her hands. “It’s a pattern I definitely want to put an end to.” she moved to stand beside Klaus. “I think I proved I don’t need you to fight my battles but I do appreciate the thought.” Klaus wrapped an arm around her shoulder rubbing it briefly. “You were glorious tonight, love.” Caroline snorted. Of course, he would think her giving into her killer instincts was something to be celebrated. She focused her attention on Marcel. “Where’s Rebekah?” “Gone. Look, she may have helped get you here but she was reluctant to involve you in this.” Marcel felt compelled to defend Rebekah when she had been hesitant to betray a friend. “I find that hard to believe.” Klaus let his arm drop from around Caroline. “How else could you have known to use her against me?” “Tyler Lockwood,” Marcel answered. Caroline opened and closed her mouth before finally saying. “Tyler? He told you to use me?” She didn’t know why she was surprised, but every time he betrayed her, it twisted a knife inside her that much deeper. He was so far from the boy she had first fallen in love with. She could barely recognize the person had become. And that person wasn’t someone she wanted to know. Klaus looked at her, his brow furrowing in concerned, he wanted to reach out an comfort her but with their audience, it really wasn’t the time. “He said the best way to get to Klaus was through you and after what happened tonight I can’t say he was wrong,” Marcel responded with a bitter smile. “He wasn’t,” Klaus responded. “Enough about that pathetic traitor. I would, however, like to talk about accommodations. Your living quarters, for example. I believe they used to be mine.” ”You own this, fine. It's yours. You can put me back on the street for all I care. But let's make one thing clear.” Marcel stepped toward Klaus glaring. “You will never have this: loyalty. You can't buy it, you can't own it, you can't force it. It comes only out of love and respect for the people who believe in you. You taught me many things, Niklaus Mikaelson, but this I learned myself. And it is something that you will never know. Enjoy your kingdom.” He turned, leaving. Caroline frowned after him, she didn’t know Marcel well or at all really but he wasn’t what she expected. In all honesty, she expected someone worse than him but he wasn’t all that terrible, not really. Klaus clenched his jaw and watched as Diego dropped a lighter, the vampire torches catching fire.  Marcel words drove deep, twisting him in knots but then he felt a hand smaller than his own, slipped into his and knew Marcel wasn’t completely right because he knew true loyalty every time he looked at Caroline. His hand tightened around her's as he turned to her and reached up with his other free hand, cupping her jaw, watching her silently, his thumb brushing her lower lip. Caroline shivered at his touch, the intense look in his eyes, making her skin heat, his silence deepening the moment, she reached up and placed her hand over his and stepped toward him, tilting her head back and leaning up to brush her lips against his. Klaus breath left him in a rush and his hand released hers, wrapping around her waist, deepening the kiss, never willing to waste a moment with her. 

Elijah pulled up outside the plantation home, Hayley was seated beside him in the passenger seat. “So thanks for the ride.” Said Hayley not exactly ready to get out of the car.   Elijah smiled. “Quite the awkward little adventure, wouldn't you say? I'm sorry I tried to hurt you, I would never want that. “ Hayley turned toward him, watching him closely. “Elijah, tell me what happened to Celeste.” “That's not important,” Elijah told her not wanting to talk about it.   “It is important. Thousand years of memories and that is one of the few memories that break's through your fever brain?” Hayley challenged, wanting to know more about a woman who seemed to mean so much to Elijah. She already knew plenty about Katherine but Celeste she knew almost nothing about. “I wanna know. Show me!” Elijah laid his hand on the back of Hayley’s head and images flashed behind her lids. 

Celeste laid beneath a body of water in the bathtub, eyes opened but unseeing, lifeless to the world. Elijah screamed in anguish. 

“It was a cruel and bloody time to be a witch. Courtesy of my wonderful brother.” To do this day he still felt the pain of her loss.   “She died because of Klaus?” asked Hayley.   “She died because of me. Because I cared too deeply for her,” said Elijah the guilt still ate away at him. “I had allowed my brother to slip through my grasp. I loosened the reigns while Celeste consumed my every moment. I had abandoned him in the name of my own happiness. Celeste paid the price. And she wasn’t the only one. Every time I found something, someone who made m happy, Klaus always found a way to ruin it.” “Even with Katherine?” asked Hayley, truly wanting to know. “Especially with Katerina.” Elijah looked at her a moment. “No woman has ever meant so much to me.” Hayley lips twisted. “Why? I’ve met Katherine and she’s awful.” “She was different with me,” Elijah defended. “I’ll show you.” Hayley half wanted to protest, not wanting to see anything to do with Katherine of all people. She hated that she had aligned herself with her no matter how short of a time it was. However, before she could protest images flashed behind her eyes. She saw Katherine with Elijah in an open field, Elijah chasing her. She looked entirely human. The memory changed. Elijah looked at Katherine in betrayal. “I had found a way to save your life.” Blood dripped from Katherine’s chin. “I couldn’t take that chance and now I’m stronger than ever. I’ve never been better.” The memory changed again, Katherine hovered above him, her long hair falling around them as he ran a hand through her curls. “I’ve missed you, Elijah.” The memory changed again, and this time Katherine was staring at him with a look of anger. “Are you ever going to start living for yourself and not Klaus? When does your life start Elijah?” “I can’t turn my back on this. This is our family’s chance.” Elijah stated strongly, reaching for her. Katherine smacked his hand away. “Come see me when you finally move on from your brother.” 

Hayley sucked in a sharp breath, she hated to agree with Katherine especially with the sudden jealousy she felt toward the woman but she was right. Elijah was never going to truly live for himself until he learned to let his brother go. “I don't get it.” She said finally shaking her head. “Why are we here? Why are you trying to put together your family when it's so clear that one part of it is broken?” “To me, the very definition of the word "broken" suggests that something can be fixed,” Elijah responded, locking eyes with her. “I have a whole eternity to accomplish one single task: My brother's salvation. If I surrender this, then tell me what value would I be to my family, to myself, to... to your children?” Hayley reached out laying her hand upon Elijah’s. Elijah shook his head. “Please, Hayley. You've seen what happens.” but despite his words, he held her hand in his for a just moment before opening his car door and exiting the vehicle. Hayley stared after him before reluctantly climbing out of the car. 

“Is the Abattoir really better than here?” Caroline wondered as she gripped her pack bags. “It was mine. It was where I lived before I left int the 1900's. I would like for you to stay there with me in the family home I built.” Klaus told her, catching her gaze. Caroline nodded but turned at the sound of approaching footsteps and a moment later Rebekah appeared in the doorway. Caroline glared at her. “Rebekah.” “Caroline, I-” “Don’t apologize. I don’t want to hear it.” Caroline cut her off. “You know, I actually thought we were becoming friends. Stupid me, right? I won’t be making that mistake again.” Rebekah opened her mouth to respond but Caroline was already pushing past her, calling over her shoulder to Klaus. “I’ll be waiting for you outside.” Rebekah frowned at Caroline's departure but quickly got distracted. “Elijah's home, there's only one dagger. Which one of us will you be punishing today?”   “I contemplated a game of eenie-meenie-miney-moe. You betrayed me. My own sister! You put Caroline in danger! If I dagger you today you will be lucky to ever wake up again.” Elijah walked into the room, stepping protectively next to Rebekah. “Niklaus, don't you dare!” “Perhaps it should be you, brother!” Klaus whirled on him, a dagger in his hand. “Stealing my children away with every fawning moment of tenderness you show to Hayley!” “This has nothing to do with Hayley,” Elijah said flatly.   Klaus pointed the dagger at him. “It has everything to do with her! She's adored you since she arrived and while I could care less about her feelings I do care how my children go up. I care that my children, my blood will grow up to call you father!” “Is that what this is?” asked Rebekah. “You are once again worried that you will be left behind. Has history taught you nothing? We don't abandon you, Nik, you drive us away!” “Is that so? What have I done lately, other than cooperate?” Klaus glared at her, jaw clenching. “I bow down to you, brother, to make up for daggering you. For the greater good of our plan to reclaim our home. I put up with your disregard for someone very important to me. Look the other way, sister. While you repeat the same cycle with Marcel, falling again for a man you shouldn't be with, while he controls the empire that we built! That he took!” his eyes flashed, blackened amber gold as anger coursed through him. “Now, I make no excuses for past sins. But in the one moment when you two could have chosen to stand by me - to believe in me - to believe my intentions for my own children were pure. You chose to stand against me, to side with my enemies. I wanted our home back. Now I have it. So I'm going to live there. And the two of you... you can stay here together... and rot.” he looked at them with a look of disgust. “I don’t need you .” he approached Elijah, handing him the dagger and he accepted it cautiously. Klaus walked past him and out of the house. Caroline and Hayley were sitting on the steps, he walked down them between the two and turned, holding out his hand to Caroline. She accepted it allowing him to pull her to her feet. Hayley glanced at their clasped hands and her lips twisted. “How sweet, you two worked things out while you left me in the bayou with Elijah while he suffered.” “Elijah had that coming,” Caroline responded, she didn’ care for Hayley’s opinion of her and Klaus.   Klaus glared at Hayley. “You're coming with us, little wolf.” Hayley sneered up at him. “Why would I go anywhere with you?” “Because, Hayley, other than Caroline, the children you carry are the only three things on this earth that matters to me. Now you can fight me on this, but you will lose.” he released Caroline’s hand and walked to the car, opening the door to the back seat. “As will anyone else who tries to stop you getting in this car.” Hayley stood reluctantly, glancing back at the house but heard neither Elijah or Rebekah coming to stop her. She shook her head and walked to the car, getting in the backseat. Klaus shut the door then opened the front passenger side door. “You ready, Love?” Caroline stepped toward the passenger seat but hesitated to get in, turning back to him in concern. “Are you okay?” Klaus touched by her concern, some of his anger fading away in her presence. “I have you, don’t I?” Caroline smiled, stepping toward him she brushed a kiss to the corner of his mouth. “Yeah, you do.” she turned climbing into the car and Klaus shut the door behind her before walking around the car. After he settled into the driver seat and started the car, he reached for Caroline’s hand with his free one. Hayley watched them silently with trepidation, Klaus and Caroline’s closeness, their obvious connection, the physical displays, she couldn’t help but worry that the closer they got the worse it would be for her if they ever found out the truth. 

Caroline glanced around at her new room in the Abattoir, there was a large bed and a dresser made of rich red oak wood, there was a walk in closet that was huge, and it had a balcony view which she really liked. She stepped out onto the balcony overlooking the city view. “Will this do? Or would you prefer a different room?” She turned, smiling at Klaus who stood behind her. “No, this is just fine. How are you after everything that happened with Elijah and Rebekah?” “It’s nothing I haven’t experienced before. My family falling apart, turning on me has been a common occurrence for the last thousand years.” “Maybe,” Caroline conceded, laying her hand on his arm. “But that doesn’t mean it makes it any easier.” Klaus' eyes flickered away from her, the understanding look in her eyes making him feel things he wasn’t used to. He was quiet for a moment before turning his gaze back to her. “Thank you for standing beside me, for being here.” Caroline smiled up at him. “Wow, Klaus Mikaelson, saying thank you to someone and actually meaning it.” Klaus couldn’t hold back the small surprised laugh that escaped him. Caroline liked the sound of his laugh, it sounded free and unburdened. “Okay, on a serious note. You don’t have to thank me for being here, I,” she gave a shake of her head. “I actually want to be here with you. When we were fighting side by side, I felt like you’re equal, you know? I wasn’t Vampire Barbie. I wasn’t some baby vamp. I was strong. I was fearless.” “Caroline, you are strong and fearless.” Klaus reached up cupping her neck. “And I do view you as my equal.” Caroline stared at him, his words meaning a lot to her, she pressed forward, her lips brushing against his. Klaus stepped forward, pressing his lips harder against hers, one hand moving behind her to grip the balcony banister, the other sliding into her blonde locks, deepening the kiss. He had always value Caroline’s loyalty and now that she was showing him that same loyalty even if it was just a fraction of it, he promised himself he would make sure he was deserving of not only her loyalty but more importantly her, every day as long as she was at his side and he hoped she would be at his side for the rest of his immortal days.

A/N: Reviews are good for the muse! Thank you to everyone who has ever left a comment. Reblogs are encouraged.

Tags: @caritobear  @blueberrygold @zinebaklaro

If anyone else would like to be tagged for this just let me know. 

[hiphopguerrilla]

Pro Sasuke Uchiha : Constructive Criticism of Kishimoto’s Antagonist

Disclaimer: I am not a critic. To anyone that disagrees, my humble opinion doesn’t count for anything because I’m just some loser in his mom’s basement as far as you’re concerned. I’m little more than a disappointed fan. Thank you for reading if you’ve go this far. Hope you can read the rest with objective consideration and without bias. This will be a long rant, you’ve been forewarned.

So I’ve been on a spree of criticism of Kishi’s work. Cannot help being criticil of an Artist/Writer who has let me down just as many times as he/she has inspired me. So because he let me down he has inspired me to write about some of the things I’m very critical of because I have no closure from the series and I can’t help but feel “Next Generation”  wasn’t about love for writing the story anymore.

In the beginning of the series Sasuke isn’t yet the antagonist, but it’s clear Kishi intended the to of them to be rivals while building what was supposed to be, and in many ways, is a story of incredible bonds and friendship. It was clear he had a motivation behind what he wanted to do as far as the character developing into and I see, it seems anyway, that he deviated from that. 

By the early stages of the character development it is established through Sasuke’s monolgue to Sakura “I am an avenger” that he never stopped grieving the loss of his clan and family and that he wanted the same closure fans never got. He said to Kakashi “I will restore my clan” and while I’m certain this isn’t meant to be taken literally he wanted to do right by their memory. 

Understanding that he didn’t just lose his family, he was literally tortured at the age of 8(forced to endure something that had Kakashi bed ridden for a week), he lost connection to his heritage(remember Madara is one of the founding members of the village yet Sasuke had no clue who he was), he lost his idol in Itachi and was forced to deal with a damaged psyche that no one could really repair Itachi drilling in his head that he was some sort of coward. He has both an inferiority complex and a superiority complex because of the standard the Clan is held to. Rather than knowing what is and isn’t true with his parents to guide him through his mess of a life.

What’s disappointing is by the end of the series that wasn’t the main take away from his character. Why? Because the development of his character was stifled by Naruto. Yes, I’m talking about the main character of the story. It’s very relevant to know and understand that Kishi didn’t take time to develop many of the characters in the story. Tenten, Hinata, Lee to an extent, Ino, Choji, Kiba, and Shino among others I may even be forgetting because....yea its obvious.

So to the point. Naruto borders on being a gary stu because, seemingly, Kishi was more partial to him than anyone Sasuke included. That’s not to say Sasuke didn’t get charcter development, just he didn’t develop in a way that was understandable to the majority of fans.

As I was saying about the end of the story none of this is understood. Worst part being that Itachi overshadows Sasuke’s character in a way that is completely disrespectful to fans who had great insterest in the development of him as Sasuke’s antagonist. I do not in anyway disagree with the choice to make Itachi remain his loving brother, who made a difficult choice for the good of the village and the one he cared for the most, but to be honest the logic that comes out of Itachi’s choice and reasoning by fans loving him so yet having great disdain for Sasuke as describe: Whiny, emo, ungrateful, selfish, among other things is a fallacy. Most of those things are inaccurate as well hypocritical to praise Itachi at the same time. 

Firstly lest start with him being ungrateful or selfish. It was immediately after the death of his clan, that this clearly life altering even influenced him to decide without doubt that he would devote his life to seeing JUSTICE for what happened then. This is how the story STARTED, please understand that it wasn’t until part 2 that this turns into full blown revenge and blind hatred in a completely hypocritical manner that made fans who already disliked Sasuke absolutely loathe him. I’ll say again this is merely so Naruto could play hero and save his soul(see there I’m getting irritated thinking about this already).

If you have a goal like becoming Hokage, or President of the United States, or First Pick in the NFL draft, or becoming head Medic nin, whatever real life or fictional you know that you can’t just decide to give it up because people say it is Irrational. Sasuke’s ultimate goal was to avenge his family. That meant he had to become strong enough to defeat Itachi, which meant sacrifices must be made.

What did he sacrifice. A normal childhood, his friendships, and the closest thing he had to a family since his blood relatives died. Yet Sasuke is selfish? Sacrificing your frienships and chance at a normal life in favor of a decision you made at 8 years old because of the family you LOVED is probably the most selfless thing a person can do. I often see people compare him to both Kakashi, and Naurto in these cases to justify loathing his character and making silly memes to ridicule him.

Kakashi couldn’t get revenge on anyone, seeing as how his only family commit suicide, The White Fang was not murdered/slaughtered. As far as Rin and Obito, they died in the line of duty they weren’t killed simply because some evil bastard(as far as Sasuke knew) wanted to “Test my power.” 

Naruto, had no connection to his family until Jiraiya and also had no concept of vengence until Jiraiya died, and If we are really to give credit where its due, the only reason he chooses not to avenge him is 1. Because it would go agaisnt his Masters wishes 2. Because he see the weight Sasuke’s had to carry and wants to free his friend from that pain. He can’t do that if he chooses to walk a path that was not his. 

Another thing that Kishi made very clear was that was the point. Sasuke was at his best when he was written as a character that manifests his own reality, and walks his own path without regret. Let’s not forgot that Fugaku is nothing like Jiraiya. He didn’t raise Sasuke to aim for peace or anything like that, in fact, one of the Uchiha’s rules is that they don’t take prisoners. Yet another reason Sasuke took it upon himself to kill Itachi, it was his duty.

Then of course, yes I’m about to go there you’ve been wared, there’s the SasuSaku thing. Why? Just why? This relationship, was never called for from the get go. Another reason so many Americans are so messed up that they don’t understand the difference between true love and infatuation. Where does Sakura’s ��love” begin, where does Sasuke’s more importantly? Was that established with any certainty?

In the beginning the bulk off their interaction consisted with Sasuke ignoring her and calling her annoying. The nicest thing he says to her the entire series is “Thank you.” seriously? Not “I’ll miss you.” not  “I care for you...deeply” but “Thank you.” Thats like something you say when someone passes the salt at the dinner table.

What is their connection? I refuse to bring up other pairs because is about Sasuke development as a character not SasuSaku. Sakura does nothing but follow Sasuke around like a love sick puppy and by the end of the series, it somehow pays off and while it may feel like a win for fans of that pair, to me as a fan of the overall series and writing that makes sense even in a fictional world where characters have superpowers. There should be some logic there at least. 

What we know at the start of part one is Sakura is a 12 year old girl with a crush on the most popular boy in school. Hilarious, that’s the foundation of this pairing, never in part one and hardly anything in the series at all does it explain where these “romantic” feelings developed. It least we know why Hinata admires Naruto (sorry nothing more on NaruHina,another time perhaps). 

And Sasuke never shows any affection to her what so ever besides “Thank you.” of course and gently lying her on the park bench. Don’t think I don’t notice the SasuSaku moments either. Like when he was about to break both of Zaku’s arms and Sakura hugs him. Probably as close ot romance as it gets and Sasuke is being hugged from behind. He doesn’t initiate the hug and he doesn’t hug her back, he stands there suprised at probably the first time he’s been hugged since his mother was murdered.

Understand this, if you take that as a sign Sasuke felt the same, fine. That is absolutely acceptable, even understandable. However, for me, that is a bit half assed. It’s really not much to go on over the course of 700 chapters to say they “fell in love”. Because to me love does not equate to trying to force someone to notice you for two years, having attempts at affection met with disdain and even physical assault, like when he slaps the apples she spent so much time carving out of her hands as she visited him and tried to feed him at the hospital. 

I’m sure I don’t have to mention the actual attempted murder at the summit to anybody so that’s all I’ll say about it for now. Now back to Sasuke’s overall story as I prepare to close. The summit was probably the biggest chance to turn Sasuke into an admirable character in fans eyes. 

Instead what Kishi does is comepletely wreck his character, so he can be the antagonist and be saved by Naruto. There’s even this little comparison by Karin where she see’s how evil and corrupt Sasuke is, another innocent he tried to kill, and then sees how pure Naruto’s soul is. It was ridiculous. I understand Naruto is the hero of the story, but that never meant Sasuke HAD to be the villain.

He even turns the entire situation with Danzo and his orders to have the Uchiha clan annihilated into a complete mess. Sasuke has gone batshit, and rather than being a person trying to do right by his clan and his brother’s memory, Kishi turns him into this absolute fiend who will murder even his own allies just to make some silly point based on a story told him by a guy who’s real faces he’s never seen even once. A guy who wasn’t even the real Madara Uchiha. As if Sasuke was never strong enough to separate himself from his emotions and what he believes is right. Itachi was already dying and he wanted Sasuke  to kill him as atonement. He killed the uchiha in favor of the leaf why would he want Sasuke to destroy the village.

If he were written properly Sasuke would’ve killed Danzo and walked his own path, facing Naruto one final time and either dying or leaving all of that mess behind. It would’ve been fine for him to return to the village if he there to sow seed and start a new with the Uchiha clan. Instead he's a glorified prize for Sakura and Sasusaku fans, as well as someone Naruto basically stalked for 2 years just to force him to not even be in the picture anyway.

As I said in the beginning, or someone in the middle maybe. Sasuke was at his best when he was written as an independent character walking his own path and sacrificing what mattered most to him in favor of doing right by his people, his family, his clan. I thank anyone who made it to the bottom of this post.

[kelhirt]

The next leg of my journey: Deutschland und Portugal

Two days later I was on the absolute worst flight of my life to Germany. That is a whole other story in and of itself, so let’s keep it short and hit the high points: 4 delays, 3 airport changes, landing 7 hours later than planned at Ulster Airport, making me take a two hour taxi ride south with strangers at 3 am to get to Cologne, my original destination.  Shout out to the Claussens, my German family, for being patient and still waiting for me to arrive via taxi at 5 am…9 hours later than planned.

The next five days were filled with both fun adventure and relaxing with the Claussens at their home in Bad Honnef, a city right on the Rhine. Jette left the day after I got there to work at a hostel in Portugal, but we were able to visit Burg Eltz and have a family picnic on the island park in Bad Honnef before she left. 

Each day was something new; except for brekky, I always ate the fresh laugen (pretzel bread) with jam because I can’t ever get enough. My mouth is watering just thinking about it! I fell off my bike on a journey with Elise to get cheap Birkenstocks because it was too big, which made for a good laugh for both us, and the people passing by. We hiked one of the seven mountains in the Rhine area, explored Köln, drank lots of Kölsch during a last minute stop at the city’s Kölsch Fest, drove the Rhine River path, and had a cookout. All this time, I was able to practice my German and look like a fool while I was doing it. The last night I had there, I helped Peter coach soccer, which was a grand time! I was playing with and against young soccer stars who wanted to practice their English with an older American woman. When the scrimmage came around, I had a young boy who was my ally and assisted in a goal I made. I tried not to get into my competitive mode and I’ll absolutely give those girls credit for whooping my butt most of the time.

Elise and I overlooking the Rhine Valley

Because the Claussens are family to me, leaving was really tough. Peter dropped me off at the bus stop at night and I woke up in Berlin the next morning. I used the public bathroom at the bus/metro station to brush my teeth, change, and quickly oriented myself with the metro. I dumped my stuff at the hostel and headed out for a full day of sightseeing. I started my day at 8am and ended back at the hostel at 8 pm, where I paid 5 euro for a freaking towel because I was disgusting from walking the city in high heat. I’m sure I looked like an absolute wreck, because the guy in line behind me offered to pay for my towel when I was debating spending the money or not...my desperation was evident and very real.

The day was fantastic though! At first I was overwhelmed with my map of points of interest, so I started with a boat tour through the city which helped to familiarize myself with directions in the city. Don’t worry, if you know me and my love for maps, I still had it out about 85% of the day. I was a full-blown tourist that day as I made a big loop of Berlin, hopping on and off the metro to make sure I saw all the things. I sat down in places that radiated good energy or cried for more attention. I played in a sprinkling fountain at the Berlin Cathedral with two other tourists because it was hot as hell, and we thought there was power in numbers: they wouldn’t think oddly of 3 people vs 1 cooling off in there. When I got back that night, I was exhausted but eager to journal about everything I saw that day so I didn’t forget anything. As I was journaling, a guy from Syria started talking to me.

Side note: The intro line for guys who are smoking: “do you have a lighter/want a cigarette” is NOT a great way to start a conversation. But I had that happen three times abroad.

Memorial to the Murdered Jews

Berlin Cathedral

Back to Berlin and the Syrian guy that disrupted my journaling to ask for a lighter (though he ended up having one, go figure!)  He and his family were refugees and he opened up to me about living in Syria during the war. It was one of the most eye opening conversations I’ve ever had the privilege of having. I ended up being speechless because I had a human being telling me what their “normal” was, which involved bombings a village away and death being a constant. I could never imagine what that was like, a topic I later reflected heavily on. I mean, how blessed are Americans that our (whole) country has not been destroyed physically and socially. (I might argue it’s on its way to social destruction but eyyy, I’m not about to get political. Please just be a genuinely kind person, honestly).  Because he was so open, I felt comfortable asking questions, which led to some pretty intense conversations. He surprised me when he casually showed me where he was shot one morning while enjoying breakfast outside. Holy man. Three weeks earlier I was sitting outside enjoying tea and biscuits, listening to the birds and the ocean on an Irish island, worried about absolutely nothing. Again, I felt overcome with deep sadness for him and the countries that are war ladden and overwhelming gratitude for what I had at home. He moved to Berlin to get a college education in IT, and disclosed that if he hadn’t been shot in the shoulder and taken to a Turkish hospital, he and his family would have died in a bombing that annihilated their village just days later. I can’t make this stuff up you guys. Talk about humbling and opening your eyes to different perspectives.

 On a lighter note (no pun intended), I did the same thing the next day. Started with some laugen (OBVI!) Jumped on the metro and got off near the Berlin Wall, East Side Gallery. I walked it twice and found something new each way. I sort of got scammed, which was absolute crap because I’ve spotted every trap on my travels. Needless to say, all I wanted to do was sit down and cry for being an idiot, but what good would that have done me? None. So I took a hard lesson, got back on the metro and headed to a beautiful little city just outside of Berlin called Potsdam. I saw most of the palaces, relaxed in the gardens, and chatted with other visitors. I still had lots of negative self-talk that I fought with all day for the morning’s unfortunate happening, but I persevered in site seeing anyway. This is one of my favorite things about travel. Making a really stupid mistake and being able to acknowledge it and move on.

Berlin Wall, East Side Gallery: a mile of amazing art!

Potsdam Palaces

 Berlin was so unique; it was equally as exciting and huge as it was cozy and welcoming. Definitely a place I would love to spend an extended period of time in! But I had places to be; namely Portugal with my German bestie, so the next day I hopped on the plane and headed to Faro, Portugal on the Algarve Coastline. My hostel room had 8 beds and was filled with Spaniards my age to a 40 year old Italian men. Quaint and homey, the hostel was not ready for what it would experience during the upcoming week. Brekky everyday was fantastic in the sense it was a time for connection and community. Everyone was eager to learn something new about everyone. I usually ended up eating with two Belgians, one of whom was a pilot, so my fears of flying were squashed when he gave me some very helpful information on planes. It was when I could talk to the people I shared a room with and through that, the Italian man, Luigio, took a liking to me. He was genuinely concerned that I had a great time in Faro, always asking if I slept alright, making sure I knew about the best places to go and reminding me that it is super easy to burn, so make sure I applied sunscreen regularly. When I burned like a tomato, he said: “Kelli, I warned you. What happened?” then told me about his prescription sunburn relief that was in the fridge. He was my acting dad for a few days. He always made me smile.I stayed a week, so people came and went, and later ended up meeting a Brazilian that lives in Dublin. Fast forward three weeks and I’d be staying at her apartment with a friend. Cool how that stuff happens.

Breakfast was also where I met two guys from Austria and Azerbaijan who seemed discombobulated and grumpy the first time I interacted with them. After I got to know them, I realized they were both just to the point and was hangry. Both can attest to that, and they soon became good friends. Wherever Jette and I would go, they would decide to come along. I can only describe them as lost puppies or the background noise you needed on your adventures; I say this in the most endearing way and they know I called them that, just to make sure we are on the right page. I refer to the friends I made in Faro as “a dysfunctional family” because that’s exactly what we were. We went to different beaches every day, out at night, hung out at brekky and on the roof of the hostel playing cards and made up Eastern Europe geography quizzes.

I was supposed to leave on a Wednesday, but Jette and the guys not only talked me into staying, but also found me cheap flights, because obviously money was the only thing holding me back. Nothing but a few solo days in Belfast were waiting for me in Ireland. So, in a last minute move, I extended my trip to spend four more days baking on the beach with a group of really great people.  In that time I was able to: perform at a bar with a musician, learn a new Brazilian dance, see another city, eat what some people might consider a sickening amount of falafel kebabs, attended a boujee rooftop pool party, and spend time with one of my favorite people. Faro was the epitome of the things I love about travel. Connecting with new people and hearing their stories and making friendships that continue beyond the trip. Also a bonus I got to lay on the beach an extra couple days. Thankfully it is easy to stay connected this day in age, and I talk to the friends I made somewhat often.

Germany and Portugal were two spectacular weeks. I know I’m not alone in the feeling of being a goddess following a day at the beach where your skin smells like the sun and sea salt. I experienced so much and built strong connections with others in this time. I still thank God for the people and experiences he brought into my life in these two weeks and for the adventurous soul I was born with.

Luckily, I wasn’t headed back to America yet; I still had four weeks to dog sit in NW Ireland and a visit from my best friend.

[tornrose24]

I remember how someone on here once joked about CU singing ‘Popular’ to Krupp like in Wicked... Hmm... a Wicked AU, or a Wizard of Oz AU ? ... Ah heck, why not combine both?

What would I call it to make life easier…. cu oz/wicked au?

(Also, I tried to present optional possibilities for both the Egg Casserole fans and the Kruppants fans in the Wicked section. Mainly because I’m very aware just how popular the ElphabaxGlinda ship is and I want to offer that possibility to those who will take over their parts too).

George and Harold: Both share the role of Dorothy. I’d imagine they came from either an 1930’s or 1990’s era Piqua when a tornado suddenly took them to a land beyond the rainbow. As strange and fun as Oz is, they know that they need to get back home as soon as possible... especially considering the fact Heidi hid with them during the storm. Instead of ruby slippers, they end up with a pair of bands that contain powerful magic.

Heidi: Ended up with the role of Toto and carries a dog plushie with her to symbolize that. Both George and Harold (but especially Harold) are protective of her when things get out of hand, but she’s also a lot tougher than she looks.

CU: Glinda–oh come on, you knew where this was going. He helps the boys and Heidi out, but he can’t join them because he has other matters to attend to, though that won’t stop him from helping however he can... just don’t trust him to give you proper directions on where you need to go. Also three words: Sparkly cape and underpants. You’re welcome.

Krupp: The Wicked Witch.... yup, I forced him into an antagonist’s role yet again. On one hand it’s because he has to be and because it’s funny. On the other it makes sense when... well, I’ll elaborate more on the Wicked portion of the AU.

???: The scarecrow. Note that revealing the identity of who I chose for the role will spoil a major story element from Wicked. If you don’t want the musical to be spoiled, don’t read the Wicked AU section down below. if you are ok with learning about the spoiler, you can click the keep reading link down below.

Kipper: The Tin Man. I know it’s an odd choice, but he always had that key and he’s someone who could learn to grow a heart. Otherwise I’d be open to Melvin in this role instead. My reason for this choice also ties to how the Wicked section comes into play.

Tommy: The cowardly lion. Ah come on, you know how that kid acts when he sees Krupp and he seems right for the role. He could get braver the longer he’s with the little group.

Melvin: The lead flying monkey (or, as Wicked fans might recall, Chistery). Or else he’d invent a flying machine that has that name. His family is in service to Krupp due to something he did for them in the past. I wouldn’t mind if someone thinks Kipper would be a better fit for this role instead, but I have my reasons.

Poopypants: The wizard. Yup, I had to go there. He just seems like a good fit.

Ok, so how does the Wicked storyline tie into the Oz AU? Click the keep reading tab for how certain roles get expanded.

Krupp: So I can see him having VERY loose similarities to Elphaba. He might of had a not so easy life due to having the same skin condition she had (and we throw in the fangs and freakish strength for the heck of it because, believe it or not, Elphaba actually HAD sharp teeth when she was an infant in the book, so this could work) OR alternatively he looks normal until his negative emotions get the best of him and changes his appearance (like what happened to the Witch in Once upon a Time) OR neither one–his temper always got in the way and he wasn’t good with making friends. In this AU’s equivalent of Shiz, he was working on getting his Masters in Education, but him having magic also caught the interest of a few staff members who wanted him to develop his powers and work for the Wizard one day. There was a time where, despite having a quick temper and being hasty, he genuinely wanted to teach kids and be someone who could be there for them when it seemed that others would not. A discovery of a plot by the Wizard lead to him being framed as a villain, forcing him to be on the run. A series of events and misunderstandings would gradually harden his heart and he’d allow himself to embrace what everyone made him out to be. (Also, I REALLY want to hear Ed Helms sing Defying Gravity right now.)

CU: Would be Glinda for obvious reasons, but much nicer and a bit more ditzier even at the very beginning. About the same age as Krupp, but it took him longer to get to the University because he’s not very book smart. CU is more interested in magic than Krupp is at first, but wants to use such powers to help those who aren’t as fortunate. He gets on Krupp’s nerves and his a lot more popular than him, but an act of kindness brought them together and for awhile they were genuinely good friends who helped support each other. (If you wanted to go the Kruppants route, they harbored feelings for each other, but CU was more open about it). Unfortunately upon also discovering the plot of the Wizard, CU chose to stay behind instead of go with Krupp to see if he could undo the damage and clear his friend’s name. Upon graduating, he began to work solo to fulfill his own goals, though the Wizard and his minions have been keeping a close eye on him. He keeps Krupp from taking the bands from the boys because he was afraid of what would happen if Krupp had too much power, but he failed to realize what the Wizard would force the boys to do until it was almost too late.

Jasper: Nessarose, of course, but he doesn’t have either of the birth defects she has in the book or musical. He was in Shiz University for about a year or two when Krupp was getting his Masters and by this point he met his future wife. Because of his kind nature/ being born normal, he was more well loved in his family than Krupp was, though he idolized his brother and refused to believe that he was as evil as he was made out to be. Unfortunately, there was a tragic incident that would end the brotherly love. Many years after Krupp was declared a villain, he came back to his brother for help to try to end the Wizard’s reign. While it was a heartfelt reunion at first, Kipper (whose his usual spoiled, not-so-pleasant self at the time) came upon his uncle’s spell book and decided to mess around with it, and as a consequence accidentally casted a spell on himself that turned him into a metallic being. Krupp was unable to undo the spell before Kipper ran away and his brother threw him out in anger. There was never a chance to reconnect and Jasper was too angry to give Krupp the bands that could have aided him.

Edith: Fiyero, except maybe she’s a tad closer to the book version, but still a member of the main ruling family of the west. THIS was why I didn’t want to reveal the identity of the scarecrow at first. I estimate that she’s about 10-15 years younger than Krupp, so when she was invited to Shiz University for a few weeks (her family had ties to the school, since they want to send future rulers to the best schools) she was between ages 10 to 15 when she met Krupp, who was encouraged to tutor her to boost his resume. She wasn’t as book smart as her family, but the two developed an unlikely friendship, especially since she saw past his exterior. They’d meet again many years later when Edith was forced into an engagement with one of the Wizard’s minions, which neither her or her family wanted since they were against him, but they had no choice if they wanted to keep his control away from the west. (Yeah, so she’s not engaged to CU like in the musical because I doubt the circumstances would have been the same). Krupp was able to get her out of it in exchange for her family’s aid and while the two were surprised to see each other again, their old friendship resumed once more (and, if you want to go the Egg Casserole route, it of course grew into something much more than what either of them were ready for). Sadly, in an attempt to protect Krupp, Edith was captured by the Wizard’s guards when her family was overthrown. Their torture left her with burn scars on her hands, no memories of her life, and an extreme phobia of fire for reasons she can’t understand. She’d eventually come across a group of children just trying to get home and would join them in hopes of recovering her own memories. Unfortunately, Krupp was left with the idea that she had been killed and it was one of the final turning points to make him embrace the evil person everyone made him out to be.

Ribble: She seems perfect for Madam Morrible, though with less of the fake motherly-ness. She was the one who kept an eye on both Krupp and CU (and didn’t really expect much out of CU due to his seemingly idiotic nature) at the University and let the Wizard know about them.

Poopypants: Ok, so I said he’d be the Wizard, but unlike the musical, he’s NOT Krupp’s biological dad (Oh dear lord would that be odd. Though, if you want the green skin route, Krupp’s mom could have agreed to an experimentation for some extra money that involving drinking the miracle elixir). He wants to go through with his plan to annihilate laughter and/or make a ray that’ll make children prone to becoming violent to keep people from knowing that he’s not actually magical... as well as what his real name is, because you KNOW that wouldn’t be good for a ruler. When Krupp destroys everything, he opts to frame Krupp as someone out to ruin him and take over Oz with evil intentions to keep that attention on something else.

Anyway, it was something I did just for fun. As usual, I don’t mind sharing ideas with anyone else who is interested (though knowing me, I’d be more into developing the version that has Egg Casserole in it. I can do my best with the Kruppants one, even if I’m not a huge fan of it myself).

[justtextmeoppa]

❝ Regret ❞

Regret / Noun

Feeling of sadness, repentance, or disappointment over an occurrence or something that one has done or failed to do  

Warning: Kinda sad… Very sad / Death of a character 

1st January 2017  

It’s the first day of the year and I can’t get off my head the fact that we used to spend it together. Remember? Your excited screams because you had 365 days for you to fill with new memories? The hot chocolate on the roof, my complaints because I hadn’t slept enough, your kisses.  

Those above all, are particularly difficult to forget.  

Those given on my cheek, too busy to clean up the mess of the night before. Those into my hair, your little encouragement to keep me awake because you wanted to do a thousand things in one day.  

Those on my hands, when we got out, you warmed them up because you knew how much I hate the cold and how much even two pairs of gloves couldn’t warm my small and fragile hands.  

Those on my lips. Of those you never tire of, you kept repeating that kissing me filled you with energies and that my kisses were what was most beautiful in the world.  

What you didn’t know, in those moments, is that I ceased to exist. For a second, the time of a breath, I owe myself in the softness of your lips, in the heat that exploded in my chest, in the frantic heartbeat of my heart.  

I lost myself into you and foolishly I never asked you if it was the same for you.  

Taehyung, did you felt the same? Now I’m here, between scattered sheets and forgotten photographs, to ask me: you’ve never loved me in the desperate, intense and annihilating way I loved you??  

1st February 2017  

They advised me to start living again. I was together with Jimin and Seokjin.

Their gazes dense with visible concern.  I know, they thought I didn’t notice it, but it was blatant. By the way they were looking at me, from how Jimin’s hand never left my back, from how Seokjin diverted the speech every time it was required my presence or where your name hovered in the air.  

One of your friends, I don’t remember his name, said my efforts were completely useless. That I was just a deluded to keep believing in a different ending. I have to start living again, it was his exact words. I have to cut the wires that keep me tied to a past that now begins to fade.  

What they don’t know, however, is that for me it doesn’t fade.  

Every single image, memory, moment, whatever is impregnated with your presence is branded on fire in my mind.  

Sometimes I wish it wasn’t like that, that they could erase themselves, that time would do its course. But it’s as if my brain had erected a tall and thick wall, a wall that serves to protect the best that life offered me.  

When I met you I would never have imagined that you would mess so drastically my life. It was flowing smoothly, quiet. Your first smile made me doubt my every idea, my belief, myself.  

Taehyung, have I turned upside down your life in the same way that you have blown mine??  

1st March 2017  

I met Your mother today. She smiled at me and I asked her how she was. She seemed to be fine, but it was obvious the discomfort in her lines, the way she moved or how she fiddled with her hands nervously. And I knew, I knew it was my presence to make her uncomfortable.

Besides, I’m one of the wires that leads her back to you, I’m the person you lived with over six years, the one with which you shared joys and sorrows, quarrels and kisses, happiness.  

You know those cliché phrases that say it doesn’t matter where you are, but who you are with to be happy?? I had never believed it, even because I had always been good on my own, I counted only on myself.  

After you set foot in my life, I could no longer feel that feeling.. Not when I was away from you. It’s wrong to donate your heart, your soul, your life to someone. It’s wrong because you don’t know if it will leave you intact or if over time this someone will break you, but you do it anyway. And it’s something you don’t control.  

I gave you what I was, my love unwittingly. It was my heart who decided that happiness brought your name. That to be able to be fine, to feel complete, you had to be part of the equation.  

Your mother kept smiling while we were talking, and I started to feel a pang in my heart. You didn’t take the smile from her, but in her lines and in her sweetness I saw you and I couldn’t remember how to breathe. 

I ran away, Taehyung. I don’t think she’s blaming me right now, I think she’d want it too. Escape from this world, from this pain, from this void that continues to grow. For a mother, it’s always difficult in this kind of situations.  

You were our happiness, mine. You were the reason thanks to I knew how to really live.  

Taehyung, was I the same for you? Did you feel happy by my side? I was your happiness, even in those times when we hated ourselves with all our being?? 

1st April 2017  

I cooked your favorite dish today. The flavor of the spices that invaded my mouth reminded me of my first attempts in the kitchen. I was a complete disaster, and I warned you, you knew.

But you never cared about it, because you said you loved the fact that I worked so much to cook for you.  

That evening we ended up eating some takeaway, after drinking a beer to head to clear the awful taste of my equally awfully experiment in the kitchen.  

Sitting on the couch, you asked me what my biggest dream was.  

You had your mouth full while the question slipped out of your lips, the face twisted by curiosity and enjoyment that eating edible food gave.  

Before I knew you I was sure I knew what my biggest dream was. I wanted to be a lawyer, that’s what I always aspired to and I dreamed of since childhood. 

I didn’t shelve that idea the day I met you, I just understood that my heart wanted more. Nothing exaggerated, eccentric or exciting. My days with you was all I asked for. But I didn’t answer you in that moment, too embarrassed and frightened. I was afraid that you would have considered me too cheesy or laughed at my love for you.  

So I murmured my dream number two and you clapped your hands, assuring that you would help me realize it.  

You couldn’t know that you were already doing it, just giving me the joy your presence provoked. 

Yet I will never forget your scream of triumph when we discovered that I had been admitted to the law school. You made me feel able to do everything, you looked at me with so much pride that yes, I also felt proud of myself.  

Taehyung, have I ever given you such moments? In my gaze could you read my pride for every little goal you reached? Was I your dream as well as you were mine?  

1st May 2017  

You used to wake me up singing.

Your low and hoarse voice filled the walls of our room and brought me to unexplored places, magnificent and full of wonders. Your mouth always found your way on my skin, your laughter while you got wrong a note was breaking on my neck or my belly, your favorite spots.  

There was no morning when you didn’t give me an emotion, while you put yourself in every single song.  

When I opened my eyes and noticed the twinkle in your eyes, I wanted to scream. Screaming to the world how good it was to see love in your irises, the devotion you had towards music.  

I was wondering every single time why you didn’t turn your love into something more and you, every time,  answered me that you weren’t up to par and adequate.  

And your insecurities were afloat, your fears that always prevented you from becoming what you were destined to be. You hid against me, hiding the disappointment you felt about yourself. I would have liked to scream at that time. To tell you that you were special, screaming to the whole world the wonder that it was losing.  

Yet the only thing I could do was embrace you, saying it was normal to be scared. But you were stronger, you could make it Taehyung.  

I’m sorry I didn’t believe enough in you, or maybe I did it without being able to prove it. I’m sorry if the day you told me you’d accepted to that Music Academy, I didn’t rejoice.  

I was the one devoured by fears that day. Because you’d be too far away and you would have cared for that love of music more than you would have cured ours.  

Taehyung, have you ever hated me? How I did hate you the day you’ve chosen something that wasn’t me??  

1st June 2017  

Thinking back to the past, the first June was the beginning of the end. It was the time when that “us” began to be simply a “You” and "I”.  

1st July 2017  

I spent the nights crying. I never told you that during our previous and inconsistent phone calls. I never wrote it in the letters where I pretended that everything was fine.

The distance wasn’t good, it was destroying us and you didn’t notice. But I did, I saw it, felt it on my skin, I had scars on my heart ready to prove it.  

Every night I lay my head on the pillow and the tears flowed, like a river in full, without I could have a control over my own emotions. I was at the mercy of the emptiness you created.   You, who promised never to leave me, were increasingly distant, increasingly stranger.  

Your voice was different, your way of speaking was different, even your hugs -in those few times you came back to Seoul - were no longer the same.  

And I pretended. I was pretending because you were there, you were there, and maybe it was just my fears that put some strange ideas into my head. To create a house of cards that would soon collapse for the stupidity with which they had been built.  

I just had to wait the day you’d come back without the duty to go back. The day you’d come back to me.  

Taehyung, have you ever cried?? Were your nights desolate and destructive like mine? Did you feel my absence in the throbbing way in which I felt yours??  

1st August 2017.  

I started this “diary” after two years. Two years passed at the mercy of the pain you had decided to inflict. Not just me, but at all.  

It was so easy for you, wasn’t it? At least, so it seemed Taehyung.  

Why the first of every month?? I know you’re asking, I know you. Every first of the month was the day when your letters came. The only day I could feel something, even just a feeble spark of what flowed into me every time I was close to you.

The other days were sequences of blurred image and nothing more. I didn’t exist if not the first of every month.  

The thirty December of 2014 was the day I stopped to exist.  

Because I had given you everything and you decided that by now it was no longer worth to accommodate what was there of me in your heart.  

Your decision seemed stupid to many, you know? Rather than stupid, it seemed foolish. Not me, though. I knew what was in your mind, in your heart. I knew it but I always pretended not to see, too blinded and convinced of your love.  

Taehyung, before you decide do you thought of me? Have you heard your heart to break in the same way you broke mine??  

1st September 2017  

Do you want to know the truth?  

I never loved anyone more than I loved you.  

My life was upset the day my eyes rested on you and I understood that I had found you. That I had found the other part of me.  

I didn’t know what happiness was before I met you. I didn’t know what you could feel to give your heart to someone. You were the first of my every moment.  

If I never stopped being the person I was, it was because in your eyes I saw a whole world apart from the pride you felt toward me.  

I hated you the day I was admitted to the academy because you were the one who encouraged me, even though I was reading fear in your eyes. My own fear.   The first June was the day I realized that I was bad for you. It was the day I realized that I had to take myself away from the equation, that the distance was changing everything. You weren’t happy, but I somehow was. I had the music, I took away the life you had before you crossed the path with mine.  

My tears fell only once, in front of my roommate Namjoon. I cried for three days in a row, I threw out everything I kept inside, I tried to replace that love for myself with hatred. I hated myself for transforming you, for abandoning everything, for abandoning you.  

But I didn’t know how to go back, maybe because I didn’t want to. I was convinced that my distance would help you understand.  Understand that it wasn’t fair to give me everything and have nothing in return. Yet now.. Reading your words, I realize I could give you more than I imagined.  

I could love you, and you really needed just that. My love.  

You were the Thought. You were the only thing I could think of when I decided to put the word “end”. But my heart didn’t break, because six years earlier I had given it to you and you, unlike me, have kept your promise.  

You protected it.  You protected me. You always did.  With your warmth, your love, your inexhaustible energy and your desire to live.  

And now? Now, what do I have? I thought I’d protect you while chasing a dream that only now I understand is totally empty. I thought to leave you free, giving you the chance to start again, was the right choice. I’ve always thought of being the stop of your life, for your career, for your own happiness.  

I’ve always been too dumb to understand that your life was complete when I was there. Every time you said that I thought you were exaggerating, you were smart, beautiful, loved by all.. What difference could I make?  

I was making a huge difference. I just took too long to figure it out.  

My decision turned out to be the destruction of both. That done with the assumption of healing, destroyed. 

And now I’m here, with this journal in my hands wondering how it would be if I had made a different choice.  

I wanted to marry you.  

I wanted to have kids with you.  

I wanted to wake up every morning with you in my arms.  

I wanted to grow old with you.  

But I was too stupid, too blind, too cowardly. The distance pushed me to an abyss of insecurity and we paid the consequences.  

Would you have said yes? To that question?  Yes, I know you’d do it. In your eyes, I had read so many times that answer even without my question.  

But I burned everything. Our future, our love, you.  

And that’s why I deserve this pain.  

I deserve the knowledge that I’ll never hear your voice again, that I’ll never see your smile, that I can no longer savor your love.   I’ll live with the knowledge that I haven’t protected you enough, that I came back too late.  

Now I have everything. Fame, money, my family who forgave me even though I decided to start again away from those who have always supported me.  

Then why does it hurt? Why do I feel like I’m pierced by a thousand swords every time I breathe? Why does it seem that my heart is not in my chest?  

And I also know this answer, because it’s with you. My heart is still with you and you brought him to a place where I can’t reach you.  

You left me in the end, even if it wasn’t in your plans. Cruel fate, isn’t it?  

You know, I thought I could fix our relationship, to show you how stupid I was and how much I loved you more than my own life.  

But time wasn’t lenient, I haven’t been. I let you go when the only thing right for both was to stay.  

I would have made special your last days.  

This is the regret that shall haunt me forever.  

You left thinking I didn’t love you. You left thinking I didn’t feel your absence. You left believing you weren’t special to me.  

I have destroyed the love of my life and I’m sorry that I haven’t been there to remind you that you have enlightened every single moment of my life.  

You were my light.  

You were my whole.  

You are and you will remain my first and only love.   - K.T.  

Just a thing I made at two in the morning. - M. 

[getoffthesoapbox]

[Ys VIII] Endtimes Reflections

After eight grueling days and 100+ hours, my journey on the Isle of Seiren with Adol and his team has come to a close. Ys VIII: The Lacrimosa of Dana was the first Ys game I’ve played through its entirety, though not that first Ys I’ve ever owned. It probably was the wrong place to start the series, but what can I say, good decisions aren’t my forte.

It’s been two days since the end credits rolled, and a dreary gloom has settled over me, which can only mean one thing: a long ramble must be had. 

Spoilers abound, so the remainder is behind the cut.

Despite the game committing several writing sins in the prologue, by the time Adol met Laxia and the two began to explore the island, I was hooked. The battle system is probably to blame for this; it’s an absolute blast. The game does a wonderful job weaving together the three plot threads--the mystery of the Ancient Species, the mystery of Adol’s dreams, and the survival situation--in a way that keeps the player constantly moving. Having never played an Ys game prior to this, I found myself pleasantly surprised by it all. My only complaint was that the emergency battles were tedious, but it’s a minor quibble at best.

The castaways’ experience stirs up some fellow feeling within me. In my own life, I’m currently a bit of a virtual castaway myself, if in a metaphorical sense. For the past year I’ve been experiencing some intense upheaval and transition in my life currently, and have been doing a lot of soul searching. It was a treat to find not only characters in my age bracket in this game, but to find that they hadn’t yet found their callings either or at least made their callings work for them was a breath of fresh air. Usually these kinds of games focus on young people, which is the target audience of course, but it’s nice to have peripheral characters who are experiencing adult issues. 

My own situation in life is probably why I bonded so fiercely with all the characters. Plus playing every day for over 12 hours didn’t help much, I’m sure. It really did feel as though I would go to bed, and then get up in the morning and go exploring with my team. We’d battle giant dinosaurs or hunt for those pesky treasure chests or expand our map horizons. It was a grand adventure, and in a dull and dreary life, a little adventure is a great spice, even if it is only virtual at best. 

This is probably why the ending hit me as hard as it did. 

Despite how much I enjoyed the full game experience, including the ending, I found myself deeply dissatisfied with how the ending unfolded. Partly this is due to the fact that by this point I’d looked into the other Ys games and discovered Adol normally adventures alone or with new party members each game, and that it’s rare for Adol to encounter former allies and friends in new installments. 

But more than that, I think my dissatisfaction stems from not wanting the journey to be over. In my real life, I lost my own team in a devastating way, and this was the first time in over a year I’d felt like I’d had friends again. It’s silly for a grown woman to attach herself so to a bunch of characters, but something about the way the story and the battle system unfolded made me feel a part of the group. Adol being a silent protagonist assists with this, of course. Regardless, losing the team and watching them scatter hurt a lot more than I expected and I’m having a bit of separation anxiety even though I can play the game again if it really is that bad, lol.

It’s funny because I’m a huge Zelda fan, yet I’ve never had this sort of reaction to the end of a Zelda game. Likely this is due to Link’s adventures being for the most part isolated other than periodic assistance from fairies or townsfolk, and also because I know I’ll meet “Link” and “Zelda” again over and over in new reincarnations. Adol’s stories are much more final--he only has one short life, and the likelihood of meeting these friends again is slim. In a way, it’s rather like reality--we can replay the game and enjoy the memories again, but we can’t go on a new adventure with those same people. Yet Adol will still go on adventures in future installments and past installments and his story will continue, but without them.

Still, despite not wanting to part with everyone, and despite not knowing when Adol will return to me with a new adventure to enjoy, I found the game encouraging to me in my own life situation. I won’t be able to change all at once, but even the castaways took their time to steadily work toward their goal--it took them almost a year to make it off the island. If they can do that, maybe I still can too. It’s fun, because the adventure changed the castaways and me with them. I get up in the mornings now and think about what adventures I’d like to have, and it changes the whole color of the day. 

Heh, a strange experience, to be sure. But there’s something about slaying huge dinosaurs and saving the world from annihilation that makes you feel you can take on the world again, even after it’s crushed you to bits. =)

This is a little silly too (and rather random), but I hated having to complete my bestiary by killing the Dyrodox on the plains. I don’t think I’ve ever cried so hard in my life over killing a monster. He never once tried to hurt me; he kept trying to run away. It was the most pathetic battle in history and I just felt horrible and depressed every second. Then I had to kill him again because the doofus didn’t give me all his rare items! It wasn’t as hard the second time, because I distracted myself with some youtube, but goodness I cannot believe the nerve of this game to make you kill a precious buttercup like the Dyrodox in order to complete your bestiary. Thank goodness we have a New Game+ so I don’t have to do that ever again. 

I hadn’t anticipated diving into all the heavy things on my mind so early, but at least that leaves us with the fun and silly things for last. So, this is where I should have started lol. The whole reason I bought the darn game in the first place was because of these two kids--I have three cardinal rules for stories: 1) the presence of a cute guy, 2) the presence of a cute girl, 3) a great narrative. Since you can’t tell #3 until you give a story a try, usually #1&2 are good initial tests for me (I do make exceptions of course, because not all masterpieces have pretty packaging, but I find these rules work out pretty well for me). 

So I went into this game knowing nothing about Ys (and how many darn women Adol has in his harem haha), and expecting an epic love story a la Lunar. Silly me. Instead what I got was a wonderful story of friendship, camaraderie, and appreciation. The narrative focal point was on how the team opened themselves up to Dana and accepted her burdens as their own. 

Strangely, I wasn’t all that disappointed to see that Adol and Dana only had the faintest of budding relationships. Despite being connected across time and space and dreaming of each other, their relationship remained shallow with very little development other than what you’d expect out of comrades. Even Dana’s farewell and Adol’s reaction to her disappearance trended more toward the platonic than the romantic. Laxia’s budding feelings for Adol were much more apparent and fleshed out than anything Dana seemed to express toward Adol. 

To be fair, Dana had a great deal of trouble and responsibility resting on her shoulders, which doesn’t allow for much time for romance. Even her quest was focused around friendship, with Adol merely assisting her. I suppose ultimately it’s good that nothing came of their interactions, given the ending. 

So I come out of this game with no ship, which didn’t disappoint me as much as I thought it would. I loved all the characters, and the friendship was more than enough to enjoy. 

While I’m on the subject of Dana, I really enjoyed how the fitting the title was on two levels. The first level is the obvious one of course, that our band of castaways was caught up in Dana’s extended lacrimosa. But the ending of the game gives the title a different twist as well--Dana becomes literally the goddess in charge of the lacrimosa. All lacrimosas from henceforth are hers to command. This was a neat little twist, and although I’d expected her to sacrifice herself in some way, it was a pleasant surprise that her ultimate fate landed us with a new interpretation of the game’s title.

This story was ultimately Dana’s in the same way Twilight Princess was Midna’s story in the Zelda franchise. Although Adol and his crew played key roles and were indispensable to the success of her plan, ultimately it was her will and her goals the story was pursuing all along. Adol was just along for the ride, which perhaps is true of all his adventures. He seems more of a journey sort of chap. 

And last, but certainly not least in my heart, is my beloved Hummel. He got me good, I’ll admit it. At first I just liked his design and the fact that he was a long range character, but his personality was nothing to speak of.

Then the story starts peeling back the layers bit by bit. He’s good with kids. He’s affectionate to animals. He’s got a weird but honorable code despite working in the black market. He wants to make sure his clients enjoy the items he brings to them and gets bummed out if he doesn’t get the opportunity to find out. He likes to juggle. 

By the end of the game everything Hummel does and says is too precious for this world. Honestly given how affectionate he was with Adol in his scenes, I was shipping the two of them more than any of the other girls, lol. Hummel’d be the best boyfriend. (But then I find out he turns down some chick later, which only increases my suspicions that he’s in Adol’s harem too!)

Heh I feel much better now that I’ve had my ramble. I’ve been listening to the full soundtrack nonstop since I stopped playing the game. There are some fantastic pieces on it. 

I guess I didn’t say much about or intrepid hero. Adol’s character design is gorgeous--I hope they keep the cute red outfit he wears as his default in the future installments (or at least offer it as a DLC for me fufu). But most of Adol’s response choices are a ton of fun, and I love that he’s snarky as well as kind. I got the biggest kick out of him and Sir Carlan (Sir Carlan actually was one of my favorite characters lol). 

This was also the first game where I was able to get a 100% complete without using a walkthrough and only checking the gamefaqs forums for individual bestiary items I missed out on. Dumb achievement to be proud of, but I’m so inept at being a completionist that I always have to rely on other people for help. It was nice to be able to figure out all the secrets on my own for once. =)

Oh and this cracked me up but...I started playing Ys VIII as soon as it arrived in the mail on my Vita. Low and behold I found out that there was no Japanese language option on the day one release! My inner weabo was outraged to the point that I almost refused to play. But then I talked myself out of it, and continued the game. As soon as Hummel arrived in my party, I fell in love with his English voice and once that happened I forgot all about my outrage.

Then I find out (when I’m nearing the last chapter of the game) that there’s a free Japanese DLC for the Vita finally. So I download it, eagerly wanting to hear what I missed out on. And low and behold, the characters sound “wrong” to me because I’ve played them in English the whole time. =P Plus I preferred Hummel’s English voice to his Japanese! Such a travesty. This is why one should never play the dub first. =P It makes things turn out all wrong! 

Anyway, silly story aside, Ys VIII was a great experience and I’m now interested in trying out the other titles. I’ve picked up Ys I & II Chronicles, and I’m quite enjoying the original bump battle system. I’d like to play the games in order (excluding Origins) this time. I do feel I missed out on a bit having never played the games before. Some of the country references and a few of the characters we met were clearly from previous adventures or future ones. No matter, I’ll fix all this soon enough.

And I think that’s more than enough babbling about one game for this evening. If anyone has actually made it this far, I salute you! You are the true champion of this day! 

May your own adventures continue!