#they might have mutual crushes but does that mean they should be in a relationship. kinda thing

[korvoyclic]

think i've worked out why isa's storyline feels so off to me... his entire narrative comes to a head with him confessing to sif slash "overcoming his cowardice". his talk about sif being mean to him essentially came down to "that was a dick move but it's kinda cool you know me so well". he never really has a moment of real disagreement/anger with sif like the others, and he always like, agrees with sif and goes along with what sif's doing. like having a crush doesn't mean you can't disagree with them or get angry with them.

like, isa has a facade & everyone just... falls for it & calls him the emotionally competent one & the smart one & etc. he may be emotionally competent to an extent but he's a lot better with others than himself. & sif is oblivious/self-hating enough that they miss a lot around this kinda thing.

i think i'm not a big fan of "character jealous over people being close with their crush" or "having a crush is 89% of a character's personality" tropes

[mrfoox]

I'm going to struggle to sleep and get up tomorrow

Curse it all

[willieverseetheland]

jingle bells.

spencer reid x fem!reader summary: spencer gets a little too tipsy at the office christmas party.

WARNINGS: alcohol consumption, language, spencer being a dork

fluff, mutual pining, friends to lovers

I know christmas has been over, I just felt inspired.

wc: 1.4k

You've always loved Christmas. It wasn't the holiday itself; it was how it brought people together. Everything just feels so cozy and bright. So when Penelope asked you to help her decorate for the party, you were more than happy to do so.

Although your job can be very depressing at times, the office environment is truly amazing. Everyone is so kind. You couldn't ask for better coworkers. However, there's one fellow profiler you've grown rather close with these past few months.

Spencer Reid was one of the first people you became friends with at the BAU, other than Penelope of course. He's such a good friend, and always seems to be genuinely interested in what you have to say. He notices the little things, like when you were always complaining about your feet being cold, so he bought you fuzzy socks. Or when he overheard you talking to Emily about how badly you wanted this decorative plate set for your new apartment, and he got it for you for your birthday. He's truly the best friend a girl could ever ask for. But recently you've been wondering if it's only platonic love that you feel. Could it be more than friendship? You find yourself putting extra effort into your appearance, but you just chalk it up to wanting to better yourself. You have also noticed how when you shop, you choose clothes you think he might like.

Sometimes you catch yourself wondering if he feels the same way. Does he lie in bed at night thinking of your voice and laughter the way you think of him? Does he get flustered when your knees brush together during debriefs? Does he get that fluttery feeling in his stomach when you lock eyes from across the room?

Now that you're thinking about it, you really fucking like him. You feel like a teenager with a schoolgirl crush. God, how could you let this happen? You know that co-worker relationships rarely work out. But you're an adult, you can be mature about it, right?

You snap out of your daydream and realize its already 6:00. The party starts in an hour, and you only have a quarter of what you need to do done.

"Hey Penelope, think we could get some Christmas music going? I work faster with music playing!"

"It's like you read my mind y/n!"

The sound of bells fills the room and suddenly you find yourself feeling very festive. You hear Penelope humming along.

You work quickly to get the last of the lights and tinsel strung up. You wish it could look like this year-round. You check your watch. 6:53. Everyone should be arriving soon.

You hear the elevator ding and see Derek walk out with a plate full of what is most definitely store-bought cookies.

"Wow, you ladies really outdid yourselves."

"Hello Derek and thank you" you smile.

People begin to arrive one-by-one. Emily, JJ, Hotch, and Rossi. Everyone says their hellos and get settled. Some make their way to the booze faster than others.

It's 7:25 and Spencer isn't here yet. You feel a pit begin to form in your stomach. You were really hoping to see him tonight. You decide to grab yourself a drink and socialize, take your mind off of him. He'll show up eventually, right?

"Y/N! Hey! Where's your other half?" Emily chuckles and raises her eyebrows. You can tell she snuck a few shots in the elevator.

"I assume you mean Spencer. Not sure actually." So much taking your mind off of him. And what did she mean by other half? It's not that obvious right?

You scan the room, hoping to see Spencer, but you don't. However, you do catch Rossi getting rather comfortable with new forensic photographer.

You finish your drink and wander off to get another. Looking at your watch you see that it's 7:47. You're starting to feel a little hopeless. But right as you turn to rejoin the party, you see him. Those big brown eyes and fluffy hair.

"Hey Y/N, sorry I'm late. I had to go pick up some last-minute gifts."

Weight falls off of your shoulders at the sound of his voice. You feel overwhelming relief now that he's here. You had spent the last hour, or at least what felt like an hour, with your jaw clenched and a heavy feeling in your stomach. You hate feeling this way. You know you need to talk to him, but you don't want to screw up a good thing.

"It's alright Spence, I'm just glad you're here now." You give him a warm smile and place your hand on his shoulder.

He gives you his classic dorky smile in return, and you feel those all too familiar butterflies swell in your stomach.

As the night goes on, the wine flows and sounds of laughter fills the room. You stay by Spencer's side practically the whole night. Now you understand what Emily meant. You notice he's had quite a bit to drink. Definitely not more than Rossi, but more than usual. You feel like he's being more playful and affectionate as well. But you assume it's just the alcohol. You desperately hope he's flirting, but you don't want to look too far into it.

Your thoughts quickly dissolve into the air as the room goes silent and Rossi's rather loud voice announces it's time to exchange gifts. You give out your gifts and accept the ones given to you. You receive a cinnamon roll scented candle from Emily, a pair of heart shaped earrings from Penelope, a fuzzy blanket from JJ, and various trinkets and gadgets from others. Spencer hands you a slender box wrapped in shiny blue snowflaked wrapping paper.

"I wonder what this could be." You raise your eyebrow playfully and give a small laugh.

You carefully tear off the wrapping paper and open the box. Inside is a necklace with small heart shaped locket.

"Go ahead, open the locket." he has a drunken grin, and his eyes are eager.

You open the locket and inside is a picture of you and Spencer from your birthday. You feel a warmth spread over your face and you can't help but smile.

"Oh my god Spencer, this is- thank you so much, really." You pull him into a tight embrace. Relishing in the feeling of his arms around you for just a moment. You pull away, smile faltering slightly.

"Would you walk with me? Outside? It's really warm in here." His eyes are glassy and his cheeks are a rosy pink. His drinks have definitely caught up with him now. No wonder he feels warm.

"Of course, are you feeling okay?" you ask with sincerity.

"Yeah, there's just a lot of noise. Just need some fresh air s'all."

You two slip out into the crisp, December night. The sky's clear so you can see the stars. Your breath creates mini clouds in the night air.

You look over at Spencer and wonder what's going on inside that brilliant brain of his. You've always been so fascinated by the way he thinks.

"You look so beautiful right now. I-I mean you always do, but in this moment you..." his voice trails off like he has more to say, but doesn't know if he should say it.

"You don't look too bad yourself." You let out a quiet laugh.

You can hear carolers singing jingle bells in the distance.

You glance up at him and see that he's looking at you. His eyes reflect the full moon. There's a sadness in his eyes but also an admiring, soft expression.

"y/n."

"Yeah, Spencer?" You place your hand on his forearm. His mouth opens and closes slightly like he doesn't know if he should say what he's about to say.

"I love you. I'm in love with you, y/n." his voice is soft and trembling ever so slightly. His eyes jump across your face, searching for a reaction.

You feel like your brain might short circuit. You're overwhelmed with emotion. You feel a sting as your eyes prick up with tears.

"Spencer, I don't know what to say." You see his smile fade and fear that may have been poor choice of words.

You decide maybe words won't do how you feel justice.

You step closer to him, placing your right hand on his cheek and the left just below his jaw. You breathe in deeply and pull his face to yours. You place a soft kiss on his lips. He then grabs the sides of your face deepening the kiss. You feel heat creeping up your neck, and the whole world feels as though it's melting away.

You pull away, catching your breath. He looks starstruck, like he can't believe what just happened. And honestly, you can't either. You almost want to ask him to pinch you.

"I love you too, Dr. Spencer Reid."

[psychedelic-ink]

𝐒𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐍𝐞𝐰 - 𝐏𝐫𝐨𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐮𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐒𝐭𝐚𝐲 𝐈𝐧 𝐁𝐞𝐝

pairing: pre outbreak!joel miller x f!reader, one sided tommy miller x f!reader

genre: angst, smut, romance, slow burn, mutual pining, secret relationship

series summary: After your grandfather’s passing, you find yourself moving into his home in Texas. You meet the Millers; Tommy, his older brother Joel and his daughter Sarah. With time, you and Tommy become close friends and Sarah visits you often. But Joel…Joel keeps his distance. The reason for this is due to one crucial fact you don’t know but he does; Tommy has a crush on you. Which means you’re off limits no matter what. But as your own feelings for Joel grow, things start to get more and more complicated.

additional notes: Joel is 36 and since I saw Tommy's age nowhere, I decided to give them a five-year age gap which will make Tommy 31 in this story. Reader is in her late twenties.

word count: 1.2k

chapter summary: Joel gets a new neighbor.

warnings: none for now!

a/n: thank you to my dearest @pedrito-friskito for editing and allowing me to scream at her over this as always, love you to the moon and back ❤️❤️❤️

chapter one

Joel sits with Tommy on the porch, surrounded by the brilliant warmth of the sun. The sky is a canvas of blue, with a few fluffy clouds lazily drifting by. The air is filled with the sweet scent of blooming flowers, and the gentle breeze feels soft and tender over his sunburnt skin. A car passes by their house and comes to a stop at the next. Sarah is at school, and for the first time in weeks, Joel feels that he can fully relax. He’s speaking to Tommy, but as always, his brother only half-listens, nodding absently as his gaze remains fixed on the woman emerging from the vehicle.

Joel observes the woman stepping out of the car. She looks young, likely closer in age to Tommy than to himself. She carries a box with her as she makes her way into her new home. Her expression is in complete contrast with the bright sunshine and blooming flowers. He knows why. Losing a family member is never easy.

"We should go say hi," Tommy suggests, pulling Joel out of his contemplations. "And maybe help her with the rest of her stuff."

Joel raises an eyebrow, running his tongue over the roof of his mouth before speaking. "You do know how she got the house, right? Her grandpa died. Not exactly a happy occasion."

"Maybe they despised each other—" Tommy counters, but his sentence is cut short as Joel smacks him on the back of the head. The younger brother rubs at the throbbing pain, shooting a glare at Joel, who remains unfazed.

Joel’s eyes drop to the green grass, observing each and every green blade, “The old man talked about her all the time. I doubt there was nothin’ but love going on between them. Have some respect will ya,” 

“I feel like that’s all the more reason to go help,” 

Joel releases a heavy sigh, loathing the fact that his brother is correct. Without a word, he rises from his seat, the short wooden stairs groaning beneath him as he descends. Tommy is quick to follow, a little too enthusiastically, Joel observes.

Joel approaches the door and gives a short, booming knock. He takes a step back when the door opens, the woman looks at the two men with a confused expression, her eyebrow raised in question.

“May I help you?” she asks, eyes flitting between the two. 

Tommy takes the lead, which surprises no one. 

"Hi there, we're your neighbors," Tommy says, his eyes briefly scanning the inside of the house. "Thought we might offer some help?"

"Oh," the woman gasps, realization hitting. She quickly extends a hand, a nervous chuckle falling from her chapped lips. She introduces herself, squeezing Tommy's hand first, then Joel's.

Joel notices the way her gaze seems to see right through him, which makes him feel at unease. He clears his throat and points at Tommy, "He actually doesn't live next door, I'm your real neighbor, me and my daughter Sarah," he says, his hand still cradling hers. "Nice to meet you,"

Tommy shoots Joel an exaggerated look of offense, which he ignores but she laughs at. "It's nice to meet you too," she says, her laughter circling them both.

 It’s a pleasant sound, one that leaves both men speechless. 

“I’m actually done with all the boxes,” she says with a hint of pride. “But I would love to have you and your family over.” she addresses this part to Joel, then she adds as an afterthought; “After I get everything sorted, that is,”  

Joel opens his mouth to answer but Tommy beats him to it, “You got it, sweetheart. If you need anything, don’t hesitate to knock on our door,” 

“My door,” Joel grumbles, his eyes digging holes into Tommy’s skull. 

Luckily his new neighbor doesn’t hear him. The only evidence that the words actually left his mouth is provided by the sharp elbow Tommy digs into his stomach. 

Bastard. 

He winces in pain, hand shooting to his stomach with a cough caught in his throat. Joel doesn’t know how to react when she reaches over and places a soft hand on his shoulder, his pulse skyrockets, crimson red peppering all over his skin. 

“Are you alright?” she asks. “Do you need me to get you a glass of water?” 

“Oh, don’t worry about him,” Tommy says. “He’ll be fine.” 

When Joel manages to catch his breath, her hand is still on his shoulder. His body reacts impulsively, taking her hand and holding it between his fingers. Blood tingles under his fingernails. He doesn’t know why, but in that moment she reminds him of stained glass; beautiful, mesmerizing, delicate. 

What the hell is going on with him? 

“I’m fine, don't worry,” he croaks, letting go of her hand. She seems just as flabbergasted as him. “Well then, we’ll be off.” 

Tommy chirps next to him, his voice like nails on a chalkboard, “Are you sure you don’t want that water, Joel?” 

“I’m sure,” he answers, his brows furrowing. “Let’s not trouble our new neighbor any longer,” 

If Tommy wants to object, he doesn’t. Just as they’re about to leave, her voice calls out to him. He turns, and the world around him shifts into slow motion. Your eyes are glossed over, not looking at him but down to the pavement underneath. He cocks an eyebrow. 

“Did you know my grandfather?” she asks, stunning him further. Joel finds the strength to nod but his mouth is drained of all moisture. “If—If you don’t mind, could you tell me about him sometime? What his life was like living here. I…I hadn’t spoken to him for a while. I didn’t even notice a month had passed since…” 

Her voice breaks and trails off. Joel’s heart beats slow and steady. He looks at her with a sympathetic smile and when he turns to Tommy he sees that his brother is looking at her the same way. Grief is a cruel teacher, they both know.

“Of course,” Joel replies and your face lights up.

With that the brothers walk away from the house. The brief exchange replays in Joel’s mind in a constant loop, lingering on the memory of her smile and the tears that threatened to fall. 

“She’s quite somethin’ isn’t she?”

“Huh?”

Wide-eyed, Joel turns to Tommy. His stomach drops when he sees that same love-struck expression he’s seen his baby brother make since they were youngins. He sharply sucks his bottom lip through his teeth and bites it, he’s feeling anxious all of a sudden. The clear oxygen around him feels polluted, somehow.

“I said, she’s quite somethin’, isn’t she?” Tommy repeats, agitated. “You never listen to me do you? Anyway, you think she’d say yes if I asked her out?” 

“I don’t see why not,” Joel answers with a forced shrug. “Y’re not a complete eyesore which is a plus,” 

“Yeah?” Tommy grins, throwing his arm over Joel’s shoulder. “I think I will.” 

Joel doesn’t have anything to say to that. He allows Tommy to drag him back to their home, the subject has already changed to something mundane. 

But his mind is left at her porch. Wondering when their next conversation will be. 

[brightest-stars-if]

So how soon can we develop a crush on Lux? Will it be possible for it to be one-sided or does choosing to have feelings automatically make them like us too? Who falls first, us or them? Is Lux a "tell everyone we know" sort of person when it comes to our relationship or would they want to keep it more private/lowkey? What's the rating of the game, how detailed will our relationship get? Will our wedding be covered in the game? Married life after? Does Lux want kids? Will there be more of a focus on the adventure with our prophecies or on the mandatory romance scenes?

Feeling like that McDonald's drive thru meme, but I have a lot of questions ^^;;;

I've been keeping this question in my inbox for a couple of weeks because I wasn't totally sure how to answer haha. Hopefully you haven't taken offense, anon. Let me answer your questions in order.

No, the MC's crush won't be one-sided. Lux's feelings emerge around the same time as the MC's.

So to add to the first point, no one really falls first, it's more of a mutual thing. If I include an oblivious route for the MC, then Lux is aware of their own feelings first.

Lux is 100% a "tell everyone we know" sort of person. They're in love with MC and see no shame in that. Though with certain MC-Lux combinations, they might not be publicly as affectionate in certain circumstances. Particularly with a f!Lux and a m!MC. That doesn't mean they love the MC any less though!

The game would have a late Young Adult to New Adult rating I guess? There’s certainly going to be violence more detailed than in chapter 1 so far. As for Lux and the MC’s relationship, romantically it’s going to be very detailed. I will say I’m not going to be writing in-depth sex scenes or anything like that. There’ll probably be some suggestive themes/moments though.

Yes, the wedding will be covered in the game! Opposite-sex MC and Lux combinations actually get married pretty early in the game. It's going to be either at the end of Arc 2 or the beginning of Arc 3, depending on how I feel it fits with pacing. Same-sex MC and Lux combinations can also get married, but this will be much later, during Arc 8.

As a result of an earlier marriage, opposite-sex MC and Lux combos get more married-life content, but same-sex combos should also get some. All combinations get a pretty equal amount of established relationship content.

Lux could take or leave kids, they don't feel strongly about it either way. They're sterile/barren so they can't have biological kids, but there'll be an option to adopt toward the end of the game.

My goal is to divide the game between romance and the prophecies relatively evenly, though I'll probably allocate slightly more time to romance.

[freckliedan]

how do i know if i prefer mono or poly

the only person who can answer that for you is you, anon! i am also not booksmart on polyamory; i just know things about me and people i'm in community with.

i think the answer is to ask yourself questions, and be honest with yourself about your answers? and it's ok if the answers to some of the questions are "i won't know without experience."

i'll list some questions i'd ask if i was in your shoes under the cut

do i have the capacity to find more than one person hot at the same time? to have a crush on more than one person at the same time?

those are morally neutural traits either way, and don't mean you HAVE to be poly if the answer is yes; healthy monogamy has room to acknowledge other people are hot sometimes! but basically asking yourself if you have the capacity for poly desire.

on that note: is dating and/or having sex something i enjoy and want to experience more, with more people?

this one's pretty straightforward. beyond having the capacity for poly desires, would acting on them be enjoyable? would it make you happy and enrich your life?

how would i feel about a partner finding someone else attractive? having a crush on someone else? how would i feel about a partner going on dates with or having casual sex with someone else?

does the way you feel about that change depending on the hypothetical other person's gender? does it change if the hypothetical person your partner is being romantic and/or sexual with is someone you already know? (queer relationships often begin with friendship, yknow?)

jealousy and insecurity still happen in poly relationships! knowing those may come up in some of these scenarios doesn't mean you should automatically Not Consider Polyamory. if the amount of jealousy and insecurity that would come up would make you miserable and outweigh any potential positives, polyamory might not be right for you.

but there's some beautiful emotions that come up, too—being happy that the person you love loves someone and is loved by them & finding joy in their happiness feels amazing.

i will also say: if you have negative feelings about a partner having connection with people of one gender but not another, you likely have some biphobia to unpack, and i would reccomend doing so. i don't ask this out of assumptions about you personally, but because i know it comes up with some frequency.

how do you feel about communication? is it something you enjoy? do you do your best to be proactive when you have an upset or need to talk about? do you put effort into commenting on what is positive and what you are happy about? how able are you to notice and express your needs—do you expect others to figure them out witout telling them, or do you take responsibility and ownership of where you're at?

if you don't have experience dating, you can think about your communication style in other areas of your life. you also don't have to be textbook perfect. but communication is a huge part of polyamory. i and the people i am in community with who are polyamorous all are people who love to communicate and self reflect and who have put a lot of time and energy into developing these skills! it takes a lot of talking and being honest about where you're at.

to elaborate on this with personal experience. right now i am in a romantic/sexual partnership with my husband, and a number of platonic partnerships. and three of those partnerships are in a place where we share mutual attraction we might be acting on in the next year 🤞.

knowing there's attraction there and that we might act on it is something i've talked about with those people, but also my husband, and also a couple other platonic partners of mine who i often process things with.

the conversations with my husband have been along the lines of checking in about where we both still are about polyamory in our relationship, how they might feel about my relationships with some of our friends changing, me gauging & processing my emotions, and us affirming our connection.

my conversations with friends i am blurring the line between romantic and platonic with have included:

talking a lot about how we feel about polyamory and the polyamory we are doing separately from each other

talking about what our connection at the present means to us and building a solid foundation in communication—these are people i am continually saying "i like xyz about you/us" "i appreciate abc" "this is a way i like being treated" & checking in about boundaries and needs ("is there a way i can show up for you right now?" "i'd love if ___, but choose what works for your energy level!"). it's easy to say no to or hear no from them. and that's in casual conversation every time we see each other!

talking about views on sex and bodies and attraction. me and each of these friends are on similar pages about thinking sex is cool and just another activity, and something you can share with friends. they're people who i know are proactive about safe sex, too.

being open about finding each other hot.

that lead to conversations about whether we wanted to start with kissing and maybe add more to our current dynamic, & in those conversations a few months back i said i DID want that someday, but that things were not good with my mental health and that i wanted to wait to experience that kind of change, but probably less than a year.

my conversations with other platonic partners mostly have covered: me processing where i'm at in the present with mental health concerns and how it effects the potential changes in dynamic; excitement about how much i love these friends; processing past experiences with polyamory and how they impacted my self perception in the present, reprocessing what happened in the past in the now.

that's kind of a long side tangent, but like. best example i could give of the amounts of communication that might be happening regarding a single topic?

it's not always easy? like, it takes effort. but it is rewarding, and fills my life with meaning, and choosing this for myself is how i am able to be my most authentic self, live my values, and experience the most joy.

back to the list of questions.

how do you understand and navigate consent?

i don't mean this just about sex. something i've noticed as a very helpful skillset in many of my poly friends and something i have been intentionally doing since i was a teen is actively practicing consent. valuing others' autonomy and boundaries in all day to day conversations and scenarios helps make it easier in more complex situations? here's a post that has a bunch of examples of what i mean. 

not a requirement. but do you have things to unpack around consent, or an already thriving consent practice that will make exploring polyamory easier?

on that note: how skilled are you at setting boundaries? how are you at responding to others' boundaries? how do you act when you find that that you have been wrong/hurt someone? how do you act when someone has hurt or wronged you? how do you navigate healing and repair when there is harm between you and another? how do you navigate it when nobody is in the wrong for the hurt that happened? how do you navigate it when someone is?

i find it important to ask about these communication skills in specific because like. it is inevitable in all relationships that sometimes you get hurt and hurt others! often we do not know something will hurt us or our partner until it has happened: we're all continually learning.

there are many, many new experiences to be had with polyamory! which is awesome, but also means there are many situations in which someone might realize they are hurt and need to communicate that. will you be able to navigate your own & others' hurt in a way that strengthens connections? will you be able to identify what a relationship-ending hurt or pattern of hurts looks like?

where are you at regarding trust, security, insecurity and jealousy in relationships? have you been hurt in the past in ways that make trust and security a challenge for you? do you feel able to reach out for affirmation when you feel insecure? how do you process jealousy when it comes up? how do you navigate all of these things when a partner experiences them?

equally important to communication imo. i am an extremely unjealous person so can't speak much on this? when i experience jealousy i view that as my heart notifying me of a potential need. "i am jealous that person A is doing something with someone else" = "i want/need more connection with person A, or to communicate about expectations i maybe haven't expressed, or to talk about how comfortable i am hearing in detail about their other connections".

how are your scheduling skills, if you start having a Lot of connections? how much free time do you have to share? if you're currently in a relationship or have an idea of what mono relationships look like, are you (& your partner, if you have one) prepared for that to change in the future?

it might not just be about how you spend your time. sexual boundaries might change; if you and your partner are interested in one romantic connection but starting to explore casual sex, and you've not been using any std protection because you're committed monogamously—what do best sexual health practices look like moving forward? if you're looking for multiple romantic connections, how are you going to navigate social functions (family events, work events) where you maybe can only bring one partner?

are you open to platonic partnerships? what would that look like to you? how would that be different from friendship or best friendship?

not a requirement! but a part of polyamory to me. my platonic partners are people i love and share commitment, emotional intimacy, decisionmaking and a lot of material resources with, and who i prioritize and who prioritize me in return. not sharing sex or romance doesn't make it a less important connection to me. this isn't a part of everyone's polyamory though!!!

what do you think polyamory looks like? if you know there's more than one type, what do you think fits you the best? do you believe in hierarchy? is marriage important to you?

there are so many different ways polyamory can look. i am mostly familiar with relationship anarchy (oppsed to hierarchy) and can't really speak at length about other forms. if relationship anarchy is right for you, how do you square with the fact that we live in a hierarchical society? you can only marry one person. there's benefits, but how does attaining legal legitimacy with one connection impact your others? do you plan on having kids?

what does a rich and beautiful life full of meaningful connections and partnerships look like to you? what parts of monogamy and monogamous culture are a part of your life only because you feel like they have to be? are there parts you would choose away from? parts you would choose to keep?

not all poly relationships are equal triads, though i think that's a popular conception! people don't always choose to live with all or any of their partners—solo poly is a thing!

there's a general conception of what building relationship commitment and intimacy looks like in monogamous relationships; dating, sleeping together, meeting friends and family, living together/becoming financially involved, pets, marriage, kids. being the single most inportant person in one another's lives & meeting all of each other's needs.

some people unpack whether this idea of how relationships function and what is significant to them when they figure out they're not straight, and some people don't. polyamory as i know it exists in direct opposition to the idea that you should have one other partner who is the most significant person in your life and who meets all of your needs.

so figuring out what you genuinely desire and what your life can look like if you live it that way—even if the answer for you is not polyamory? i think it's worth it. having a strong community outside of a romantic partner even before i realized i was poly was one of the best things in my life—i have never believed the one person who's everything idea.

you super don't have to have an answer to all of those questions to start trying things. these are just some more specific things you can think about. and very importantly: starting to explore polyamory does not require the strengths you might develop over time if you find it is right for you.

for emphasis on the not having to know thing:

my path to figuring out i was polyamorous was. learning in a sociology class about poly activists fighting for marriage equality/separating the contracts marriage is and being able to share them with more than one person. going "i love my partner but would marry all of my super close friends i wish i could live with if it was legal". having a several month breakdown questioning if i was in love with all of my friends, including a lot of crying to landslide (glee version) in my car while writing questionable poetry parked at the beach.

me and my partner having been on the same page re: celebrity hypotheticals (if famous person asked me out, what would you do? be happy you were happy, i just would still want to be in your life. maybe watch 😳) for a while. us realizing we both had crushes on our best friend bc we both had sexy dreams about them & talked abt it with each other. assessing that odds were good it was mutual. asking him out.

so basically. the only things i was for sure on at that point were my capacity for the desire, opposition to hierachical relationships & the idea that one person should be your everything, and commitment to treating the people i cared about well. none of us knew what we were doing.

we dated for a year, broke up bc external circumstances were making it impossible for our relationship to thrive and that was the option that would let us keep our friendship, and then moved in together a year after that. all while coworkers. very messy path but he's still one of both of our best friends & family to both of us so. it worked for us.

also, for fun, some of what in retrospect were baby poly experiences i had:

in fandoms, not really getting most ship wars/being way more down to multiship than a lot of fans around me

after first being exposed to poly ships, just really enjoying them and seeking them out, for smut fics but also for relationship focused fics. for no particular reason

thinking it's very stupid that most people treat romance as a tier above friendship, and living that value while dating. (being intentional about prioritizing a couple of close friendships equally to my romantic partnership)

wanting to live in a group setting with the friends i was closest with and wanted to grow old with

i know this is just fifty more questions for you to think about. and i really want to shout it that you don't have to have answers to these questions to start trying things!!!!! trying things is one of the best ways to discover yourself!!!!!!!! but i hope that i've given you things to think about that help you evaluate where you're at?

good luck!

[zgvlt]

sending your crush a survey form hcs part 4 second years x reader (separate) -> kalim, jamil, silver

general tags: gn reader, fluff + attempt at humor, sfw, not beta read, mix of text and images (for images, alt text/image description available)

other parts in this series

character: KALIM AL-ASIM premise/trope: sending your best friend a crush form. it's mutual but everybody... sort of just assumed that the two of you were already dating already

HOW HE (AND JAMIL) REACTS WHEN YOU SEND THE FORM LINK

Kalim's amused by many things, music one of the more significant interests he has. So, when he learned that he could customize the ringtones and notification sounds he has for all of his friends, he spends a lot of time assigning a tune for each person in his life.

It's why he immediately jumps up and searches for his phone when he hears the song he specifically chose for you.

Jamil gets it for him the second he recognizes the song playing because he's heard it so much it's ingrained in his memory.

(Kalim does not mute his phone unless specifically asked to. Usually for emergency purposes but Jamil doubts messaging you 24/7 qualifies as such).

Jamil checks the message briefly to make sure you're not getting hacked (it said you sent over a link and, well, there's been an increase in MagiCam accounts getting hacked lately...)

Jamil wishes he never checked it. When he gives Kalim his phone, he wants to walk away immediately. He does NOT want to be on the receiving end of the gushing, no way, absolutely not.

Even if it is a little cute, like some kind of fairy tale that he might have liked in his youth, he just wants to have some peace, and peace did not include Kalim yapping about how lovely and cool and amazing he thought you were.

Kalim's talking about how much he loves you and Jamil's immediate instinct is to sigh and ask why he won't tell you instead. You're his significant other or some other label anyway, right?

Kalim blinks in confusion, his fingers pausing the sticker spam he was inevitably doing.

"We're not dating though?" Kalim says. Jamil pops a blood vessel. "I wish we were! We could go on all sorts of cool dates, we could go visit my family, and then..."

Jamil tells him they literally already do that. They go on cool dates all the time. His family knows who you are (partially his fault, he let them know who Kalim spends all his time with these days, but obviously Kalim's fault for talking about you, too).

Jamil exits the room and tells Kalim to read the questions properly. He also says congratulations in advance.

Kalim's not dumb by any means, so when he realizes what the form is all about he's cheering and giggling to himself, like he wants to get his flying carpet to take a quick ride while, simultaneously, go get his drum kit so he could play his sudden excitement out.

His answers are equally excitable as your questions. Though it's mostly just vibes, he does get some really sweet answers out there about how much he likes you.

HOW HE ANSWERS THE QUESTIONS

AFTER HE ANSWERS THE FORM

Your relationship had been a long time coming... At least, that was how you and Kalim saw it. The two of you were so intertwined in each other's lives that spending your futures together just made sense.

For everyone else, they had thought the relationship was already there in the first place, so imagine their surprise when Kalim announces that there was going to be a party, a party to celebrate his new relationship, with you as the guest of honor.

They call Jamil a traitor for not telling them you and Kalim hadn't actually been dating all this time. Jamil wants to explain that even he didn't know, but he decides it's more fun to pretend he was the outlier who knew the truth all along.

He's planning a celebration for you, actively participating in the creation and setting up process because it's important to him that you would enjoy. He's taking into account what food and drinks you enjoy, how much people you want to attend and who should be in attendance, the music you want playing, even the colors of the decorations.

Initially, he wanted the party to be a surprise but he can't resist calling you. He wants this to be a perfect gift for you! He has to make sure you like each and every thing, so he calls you every few minutes to ask about even the tiniest of details.

It also probably helps that he just... really likes talking and listening to you.

Speaking of talking... While he keeps many of the specifics to himself, he's also talking about how nice and great and cute you are for confessing to him that way. It becomes the talk of the dorm, and Jamil won't be surprised if it becomes the modern day love story of their homeland.

Kalim's the one who seeks you out too, picking you up from wherever you said you were to bring you back to the dorm. He's so excited that he's (finally!) your partner!

The two of you spend a few minutes gushing about each other, and then he says,

"Alright, let's go!" He pulls you along with him, grasping your hand in his. "Let's celebrate the start of our love together!"

character: JAMIL VIPER premise/trope: sending your boyfriend, who you miss very much and is very busy, a crush form to remind him that your feelings have not waned one bit

HOW HE REACTS WHEN YOU SEND THE FORM LINK

You're wonderful to him, really, so you have the decency to send the link a little later into the evening, around the time you know he'd have less chores to do, more academics in turn. It's a time you know he'll allow himself to check his phone, and you know your message will go read.

You tell him you don't have to open the link immediately, to only do it when he's free.

Jamil sees the form file name and title and, well, he thinks it's time for him to wrap up his evening immediately. If he's to abide by your request, that is, to answer the form when he missed you... That would mean answering as soon as possible.

JAMIL : I don't know how to react. Should I call you corny or sweet for pulling a stunt like this?

He tells you that, but the reality is that his body has already decided how to react for him. His face feels too warm for comfort (which says a lot, considering he's rather used to the heat already).

He's hiding his face with his hood on the way to his room, and even when he's in the privacy of his quarters he can't help but want to cover up his face a little longer.

Conflicted between immediately getting back to you (at least, sending in his answers before you go to sleep) and preparing for bed, he ultimately decides to save the best for last, getting his heart to calm down as he undoes his hair and takes off his jewelry.

When he reads through the questions, he goes from being ready to pass out to doing leg kicks in bed and burying his face in his pillow (because he changed from his uniform, therefore no more hood).

Jamil answers the questions a little bluntly (with some quips aimed towards you here and there), but since it's something private, something he's sure you won't share with anyone else, he's comfortable giving you the affection you seek (and which he, too, misses giving and receiving).

(He also, just, has a thing for imagining you as flustered as you make him, so he likes to flirt a little bit. Oops 😊😁🤭)

HOW HE ANSWERS THE QUESTIONS

AFTER HE ANSWERS THE FORM

Morning come, everybody notices that Jamil is in SUCH a good mood, so good he can't even hide it.

It's surprising that he's acknowledging anyone at all considering, upon closer inspection, Jamil's eyebags looked... well, noticeable. Especially since he hadn't put on any makeup yet.

Kalim's usually the mood maker in Scarabia, but Jamil's genuine smiles are infectious, and soon enough everyone else is smiling, too, even so early in the morning.

Though they do wish he would talk to them a little bit more instead of spending his time on his phone (another rarity), but overall they're just happy that Jamil is happy.

(They all consider making some kind of prayer or offering to the Sevens now. Whatever or whoever is making their vice dorm leader having a wonderful morning, may it continue to do so forever)

As for Jamil... He knows he spent a good amount of time talking to you last night, but upon waking his natural instinct is to greet you immediately.

You're his treasure, his love, so if he goes to sleep thinking of you instead of dreading the morning come, and wakes thinking of you instead of the pile of work he'll inevitably face, who can really blame him for being visibly content?

JAMIL : I know I said I'd be too busy this week to commit to a date, but I don't think I can wait that long to see you. JAMIL : I'll find an excuse for Kalim, so... JAMIL : Shall we go on a date tonight?

character: SILVER premise/trope: sending Silver the form should have been relatively uneventful... if not for his well-meaning but nosy family

HOW HE (and the rest of Diasomnia) REACTS WHEN YOU SEND THE FORM LINK

The thing is... Silver's asleep when you send the link. That's not your fault of course, nor is it is. However, the two of you just have the most unfortunate timing. Maybe you shouldn't have sent multiple follow up messages, then it would not have alerted anyone else.

Silver's phone has multiple beeps and, well, his fae companions are a little more sensitive to sound than others. It's inevitable that they'd either be annoyed or intrigued by the constant notifications.

Sebek just wanted to mute it, really! However, the screen lights up when he puts it in front of his face, and he sees your name, and he instinctively says it out loud, and then it's all over.

Lilia and Malleus are taking peeks at the small device as well, trying to make sense of the cut-off previews of each message you sent.

Sebek is... trying to be a good person so he's doing that thing where he covers his face with his hand, but leaves a gap between his fingers for him to read the texts.

They want to wake up Silver because SILVER'S LOVE LIFE IS ON THE LINE WHAT IF YOU DELETE YOUR MESSAGES AND DECIDE YOU REGRET YOUR (admittedly unique) CONFESSION.

Lilia's talking about taking one for the team and he activates the face recognition unlock on Silver's phone. He's not going to look through what you sent or anything (yet) but he does send you a text to let you know that Silver's still asleep and to not worry about why he's not responding.

Well, that stops the message influx.

Ironically, it's the silence that wakes Silver up, and he's immediately suspicious when he sees three fae crowd over his cellphone.

When he finds out you've been sending texts he's very apologetic to have kept you waiting, and when he realizes just what you sent he's extra apologetic... and flustered. Not only did you send him such a thing, but his father, Malleus, and Sebek all got a glimpse of it, too.

SILVER : I'm sorry for taking so long. I feel asleep again. SILVER : I have control of my phone now, in case you were worried about... the others being overly curious again. SILVER : I'll answer what you sent and get back to you as quickly as I can.

Silver's answers are serious and straight to the point, but not to the point that it lacks affection. Rather, he manages to weave in his perception and feelings for you rather seamlessly.

HOW HE ANSWERS THE QUESTIONS

AFTER HE ANSWERS THE FORM

He just meant to let the trio outside his room (he knows they're there, they are not being very discrete) know that he was going to meet up with you for a little bit, maybe talk about the next steps of any relationship you could cultivate in person.

However, they're bombarding him with apologies for snooping (he's already forgiven them, honestly) and questions about whether he's finally having his first romance.

Even Sebek, once he says his piece about making sure to allocate enough time for training and academics, gets pretty into it.

Silver clarifies that he's going to meet up with you specifically to discuss what the two of you should do with your mutual feelings, and then they're talking about what courtship offering he could give and what attire he should wear and what song he could perform ad he loves them, really, but it's a little bit too much.

He lets them know he'll leave as he is and that he'll be back for dinner. Lilia jokes that he should cook something special for the occasion and to bring you along to dine with them.

He runs before he can be pressured into agreeing. Malleus and Sebek look like they want to join him instead of facing Lilia's cooking.

You're talking to a bird when he sees you. The sight makes Silver smile.

"The birds have a great eye. Those colors suit you," Silver says. He makes sure the stem has no thorns before he tucks it between your ear. "Perhaps the forest critters have taken a liking to you, too."

masterlist | end notes

[ 1 ] Compared to the previous crush forms (aside from Floyd's), these ones sort of have the theme of getting people involved in the process. I feel like if I were to make or receive one, I would be sharing them or letting my friends take a look, so it felt realistic enough to have some characters actually tell people about the form and not just keep it to themselves

[ 2 ] I don't think I have to say this, but don't violate people's privacy with their phone in real life HAHAHAHA this is for plot purposes only

< special tags >

@merotwst here bestie ito na yung tag mo HAHAHAHA surry napatagal ng post hihi

If anyone wants to be tagged for when a specific character's form gets posted feel free to let me know :> I can tag you too

[takaraphoenix]

Camping & Bonding (Part 5)

Tags: m/m, Erica Lives, Boyd Lives, Jackson Doesn't Leave, Pack Mom Stiles, Pack Feels, True Mates, fluff, hurt/comfort, camping, mutual pining, m/f

Main Pairing: Derek/Stiles

Side Pairings: Scott/Allison, Boyd/Erica, Jackson/Lydia

Teen Wolf Characters: Mieczysław 'Stiles' Stilinski, Derek Hale, Erica Reyes, Vernon Boyd III, Isaac Lahey, Jackson Whittemore, Lydia Martin, Cora Hale, Scott McCall, Allison Argent

@writersmonth Prompts Part 5: glow + lake

Summary: Stiles thinks the pack should go camping, as a bonding exercise. Much to his surprise, Derek agrees with his plan. So the pack goes off into the mountains to camp together.

This Fic on AO3 | This Fic on FFNet

Stiles Summer Stories 2024

–

Part 5: The End

Going to bed that night was just a little more awkward than the night before, somehow. Snuggling with his crush was one thing, but snuggling with his new boyfriend of literally less than one day? Stiles was so flustered when he got changed, his eyes flitting over to Derek all the time.

"Stiles," Derek growled softly, near reassuring somehow. "It's okay. We're just… going to bed. If… If it makes you uncomfortable, we can sleep apart-"

"No," Stiles wiggled his nose, blushing even harder. "I do like the cuddling I just… I have never cuddled with a boyfriend before. Much less a mate."

A small noise came from Derek that sounded wondrous. "Okay. You know that we will figure all of this out together, right? I mean all of it. I don't exactly have a track-record of well-going, healthy relationships either so I don't have… that much more experience than you either, honestly…"

Stiles blinked as he took in how sheepish and awkward Derek looked. Sometimes, when Derek was being all growly, bossy and confident, it was easy to forget that Derek wasn't that much older than Stiles either and that he has had two relationships that had both ended in absolute disaster. Reaching out, Stiles rested his hand on Derek's, caressing it gently and squeezing it in reassurance.

"We'll figure it out together," Stiles grinned and pecked Derek's cheek.

He got a rare smile from Derek. The kind that made Stiles feel soft and like jelly. Heaving a sigh, Stiles collapsed against Derek's chest, forcing the werewolf down onto the ground – well, more like suggesting it and Derek went along with it to humor him.

"I love you," Derek's voice was muffled by Stiles' hair as he had his nose buried in it. "I never expected you, or anyone like you. But you are… my compliment."

"Shut up," Stiles' voice was muffled by Derek's chest.

He had his face buried in it, rubbing his nose along Derek's collarbone. Derek was his boyfriend now. Derek was his mate now. Stiles huffed out a small laugh that got him a curious noise from Derek. The Alpha's hands were running over Stiles' back, gentle and soothing.

"It's just…" Stiles tilted his head up to look at Derek. "I kind of did plan this camping trip to confront you about a few things, in a moment of peace like… right now. I have been growing more and more suspicious of the betas' behavior. How they listen to me, how they behave around me. I just… I really didn't see it, huh. I mean, I know about pack dynamics. I read up on them. I taught most of the betas about them. How did I not see that I'm the Alpha Mate."

"Because you didn't expect it?" Derek suggested after a moment. "You're good at picking up clues, most of the time you pick them up before you even know what they could mean. Your instincts are great. But you don't have all of the answers either, Stiles."

Stiles grumbled at that with a slight pout. "Still. I know what the Alpha Mate does. I should have been able to put the evidence into context."

"You're… cute… when you're frustrated," Derek grinned ever so slightly.

When Stiles glared at him, Derek kissed him so softly that it melted the glare. Derek was probably right. Stiles had not seen any reality where Derek might love him, much less him being Derek's mate and that was kind of the whole point of the Alpha Mate. Still, it bugged him that he didn't figure this out on his own. Curling together, Stiles got more comfortable on top of Derek's chest.

"Did you have any plans for tomorrow?" Derek asked after a stretch of silence.

"Mhmh," Stiles started to feel too sleepy for talking. "Swimming. Lake."

Derek huffed at the lack of sentences and pressed a kiss to the top of Stiles' head. Accepting that that was it for tonight. They both relaxed in each other's arms and drifted off to sleep.

/break\

After yet another successful breakfast, the pack headed toward the lake where the creek led to, all dressed in bathing suits and swim-trunks. Stiles could not take his eyes off of Derek. Shirtless Derek was one of his favorite things to look at. He licked his lips.

"You are disgusting, Stilinski," Jackson commented. "Stop drooling over our Alpha."

The comment was lacking any heat. If anything, the look on Jackson's face was more that of a kid who wanted his parents to stop the PDA, which just cracked Stiles up so hard. Just to piss the beta off, Stiles walked over to Derek and pulled him into a kiss, his hands sprawled out on Derek's chest. Erica was whistling in the background, Cora and Jackson were gagging.

"Your betas are a bunch of children," Stiles commented dryly. "You deserve it, for turning teenagers. I, however, truly do not deserve this."

Derek huffed out a laugh and wrapped his arms around Stiles' waist to keep him in place, keep him close. The weather today was surprisingly warm for an autumn day, which made it perfect. The first one to jump into the lake was Isaac, closely followed by the other boys and Erica. Lydia and Allison opted to sunbathe, now that there was some actual sun out. And Cora simply walked into the water instead of jumping off the cliff. Stiles sat down with Scott and Allison for a bit, watching how Derek went to jump in after his betas, after some teasing comments about a 'chicken Alpha'.

"You look happy," Allison smiled, nudging Stiles.

"I… am," Stiles whispered, his own smile very soft.

And it wasn't just about Derek. Yes, he loved Derek and he couldn't believe that Derek was his now, but it was about so much more. Being the squishy pack human had, at times, given him self-doubt. Sure, he contributed a lot with his research alone, but when it came to a physical fight? The werewolves always worried so much about keeping him and Lydia safe, it made him feel guilty. Lydia was taking self-defense lessons too, as tired of this as Stiles, and even Lydia had her Banshee powers to aid in a fight if push came to shove. The Alpha Mate though, that was… that was special. He had a special place in the pack, he wasn't just the human that needed protection.

"You look so pretty in that bikini," Scott had a dopey grin on his face as he walked over to them and collapsed right behind Allison, pulling her close. "This trip was an awesome idea."

Allison smiled and leaned back against her mate's chest, relaxing. "Yeah, it was."

Stiles preened a little at the praise of his idea. He relaxed and laid down, taking out the book he'd brought to read at the lake. At least until the betas grew more demanding and Isaac and Scott grabbed him by the wrists to pull him up and toward the lake. Stiles made half-hearted protests and let himself be pushed into the water. It was freezing cold and he shuddered and gasped when he resurfaced. A smile spread over his lips as he saw the entire pack in the water, playing and laughing. It made his heart feel weirdly full. They had each other, they were a pack, a real pack.

They stayed at the lake until it was late evening and the setting sun bathed the water in a soft orange glow that seemed to fit the autumn atmosphere. It was the perfect ending to their trip.

/break\

"This was fun," Boyd's voice was a soft whisper, his knee bumping against Stiles'. "We should do it more often, going on a camping trip somewhere. Maybe just weekends."

"Yeah," Stiles turned to grin at him. "Yeah, we should."

Erica was on Boyd's other side, having fallen asleep after dinner, leaning heavily against her mate. Boyd's arm was around her, holding her close and making sure she didn't fall over. They'd made dinner and eaten together and gathered around the bonfire one last time, all of them. Telling stories and laughing with each other and a part of Stiles didn't want it to end, ever. So the idea of doing it more often, yeah, he really liked that.

/break\

Very early the next morning, they packed everything up and filed back into the cars in the same constellations as they had driven there. There was so much comfort in the air as they drove home, everyone seemed more subdued than when they had arrived, but it was a comfortable kind.

"Good night, guys," Stiles grinned as he dropped Scott and Allison off.

Because Scott wanted to say proper goodbye to his mate so he decided to walk the rest of the way to his own home after getting some alone-time with Allison, after Stiles had once again so 'rudely' separated them to avoid lengthy make-out sessions. He'd already dropped Lydia off at home, meaning it was time to get home himself. He heaved a soft sigh when he noticed the lights were out and his dad's car wasn't there. Something about the past few days left him longing for company. It had been such a high to be with them all like that, the soft, warm sense of pack. To come home to a cold, empty house with nobody to talk to or be tactile with was… jarring.

Making his way upstairs, he sulked just a little bit. When he opened his bedroom door, he let out a startled screech at the moving shape on his bed. His heart was still hammering hard in his chest when he turned on the light. A glare etched into his features.

"Door! We have a door! Why do you-" Stiles huffed and threw his hands up. "Windows are not special werewolf doors, you are going to give me a heart-attack one of these days!"

Derek, sprawled out on his bed, looked mostly annoyed that Stiles had turned on the light. Rude asshole. Why did Stiles love this bastard. Glaring one last time, Stiles dumped his bag in a corner and the shrugged out of his jeans before collapsing on his bed, right next to Derek.

"Why are you even here?" Stiles asked softly. "We saw each other three hours ago."

"Mh," Derek looked displeased. "Went home. Bed too… not smelling like you."

Oh. Right. Mates that just got together. Wolves had a high draw to their mate and after having spent the last couple nights cuddled up to each other, it must be jarring for Derek to go back to his house that only moderately smelt like Stiles and his bedroom that absolutely did not smell like Stiles at all because Stiles had never been in there, he wasn't crazy enough to go into an unmated wolf's bedroom, he knew how territorial they were. A small smile spread over his lips as he realized his Sourwolf had been pining and had then decided to come to his house, because that was where all of that good Stiles scent was stored. Rubbing his cheek against Derek's, Stiles snuggled close.

"If you want, I could come over tomorrow to roll around in your bed."

"Don't make fun of me, Stiles," Derek growled annoyed.

"I'm not. It's a genuine offer," Stiles chuckled. "I know about werewolf instincts. So, if you want me to make your room smell more like me, I could come over."

The Alpha blinked a couple times, staring at his mate. He made a pleased rumbling noise in his chest, nosing at Stiles' neck. Affectionate, giant puppy. Stiles huffed fondly, running his fingers through Derek's hair. This was definitely a side of the Alpha that he liked seeing.

"Thank you," Derek's voice sounded gruff and was muffled by the pillow as they were both squished into the bed. "I think this get-away was exactly what the pack needed."

A proud smile spread over Stiles' lips at that and he tightened his arms around the werewolf. "That's what the Alpha Mate does. Take care of the pack and help out their fearless, strong, capable leader."

Derek squinted at him. "There's sarcasm in there. It's subtle but I can still hear it."

Stiles smirked teasingly at Derek and kissed his boyfriend's cheek, because he now could kiss his boyfriend because Derek was his boyfriend. He tried not to gloat, but honestly, why shouldn't he. Closing his eyes, he nuzzled into Derek's chest and got more comfortable. He was glad that Derek had come here tonight because he hadn't wanted to be alone either.

~*~ The End ~*~

[merthurxxxmerthur]

James and Lily as a replacement for Sirius and Severus

Yeah, damn, the title of this post is a bit crooked, but listen to me.

This thought has been nagging at me for quite some time now, and to be honest I'm not sure I can convey it properly… But let's imagine that Sirius and Severus (together, as a couple, or separately, each with their own family's) were targeted by Voldemort because of the prophecy. They might have had children in their 20s, right after school, for various reasons, but those children (or one child together, haha, if we follow the James and Lily analogy…) would be born in July 1980. So, they would be the ones who fought back against Voldemort 3 times (Sirius as a member of the Order, and Severus as a deserter, a turncoat who now serves Dumbledore), and they and their families would be locked under the Fidelius Curse for safety at Grimmauld Place and Spinner's End. In any case, in this hypothetical scenario, it's obvious that James will walk the path of Sirius. He will play a role in his best friend's death, he will be crushed by it, and being a loyal and devoted friend, he may even end up in Azkaban. He will only come out to save his best friend's child, to whom he is godfather, and he will die for that child just as selflessly as Sirius. There is no doubt that he will speak warmly of Sirius, teach his son or daughter Quidditch, give them a broom, be a father figure to that child. James, as well as Sirius, will be driven by a thirst for revenge on Peter for betraying and going over to Voldemort's side. He will grieve, he will miss him, he will blame himself for Sirius' death. Everything James does will mirror Sirius's actions, with the possible correction that Lily and their children may be on James' side.. I mean, that is, in my opinion, how canon describes their relationship. Their love for each other (platonic or not) is mutual, strong and unwavering. James would take full responsibility for Sirius' child, and would do everything to make sure he was safe and happy, just as Sirius tried to do for Harry. Sirius' child would live in the Potter family and be accepted as their own, with Lily or any other woman, alone or with Remus.

But if we are talking about Severus and Lily… Is it possible? If we follow the canon events, where their friendship fell apart in 1975 or so, and Severus still cared about her and her fate in 1980 when he brought the prophecy to Voldemort, so much so that he even went over to Dumbledore's side, because he loved her like no one else in the world, because she was the only person who cared about him in his entire life, and because he considered himself responsible for her death and swore to protect her child…could Lily do the same for him? I don't think she would become a double agent (she's Dumbledore's woman, in any universe), but could she sacrifice her dreams, her life, her safety and her health for Severus? Who called her a filthy little mudblood just like she called him Snivellius, leaving him to be torn apart by the Marauders, and he forgave her, but she didn't. Sacrificing everything for him, just like Sirius sacrificed his dreams, his youth, the life he could have had with Harry, for James? (just like James would have done for him).

And my answer is no. No.

I mean, it's obvious in canon that she, well, didn't really care about him. She even talks about how her friends don't really understand why she hangs out with Severus. Or when she tells Severus that James saved Severus' life and he should be grateful. She doesn't believe his theory about Lupin, she downplays the damage the Marauders are doing to him… Maybe she loved him once, when they were kids, when he told her about magic and Hogwarts, but not when they became teenagers and their differences became too uncomfortable. I'm not saying Severus is perfect, that he wasn't as toxic as she was, that he wasn't cruel to her when he called her a mudblood. He was. But he also loved her and cared about her. He didn't want her to die at 21, he would have preferred to die instead of her. He still remembered her when no one else in the entire series does. Sirius and Remus don't even talk about her, she has no girlfriends or friends outside of her husband's group, even her sister refers to her as some kind of trash for most of the series. Harry doesn't ask about her the same way he does about James. None of the teachers, except Slughorn in book 6 when the whole secret about her is revealed, remember her. I just can't imagine Lily going through all that hardship for a friend she didn't really care about at 15, let alone putting herself at risk at 20. She couldn't live her life just to protect his child and ultimately die for him. In fact, it's unlikely she would ever feel the longing and bitterness for him that James will feel for Sirius if he dies. Why should she? He didn't matter to her by the time she married Potter and that's okay. It's part of life, friends, even the closest ones, are sometimes not right for us. She didn't love him as much as he loved her and she didn't even have to.

But it just hurts. When Sirius and James have this strong bond that the reader feels even through a small memory of them, Severus and Lily feel like something less, something not as significant as Sirius and James soulmates, well. I don't think their friendship is any less valuable because of this, but the sad thing is that there is no character in canon who would do the same for Severus that he did for Lily.

If Sirius Black dies, James Potter will go mad and give his life to get revenge on Peter. If Severus Snape dies, Lily Evans will shed tears (or not) for him and nothing more.

Anyway, these are just my stupid thoughts:D

[nyxielovespythons]

Why NejiTen should be canon

Before I say anything, I can recognise that NejiTen is not canon, although I want it to be lol. Everyone has a right to their own opinion, so I ask that you respect mine, and if you want to challenge it, you can *politely* do that in the comments.

The major countering ships to NejiTen are: NejiHina and LeeTen, so I will talk you through why these ships don't work out.

First with LeeTen (because I don't want you quitting after the drama of NejiHina). Lee and Tenten are seen as very close throughout the series, though Tenten makes it clear that she finds Lee annoying and hot-blooded. This is the opposite to Neji, who Tenten seems to admire a lot, since she liked to train with him, and even put on lipstick in the manga for his chūnin exam finals. They seem like the perfect best friend duo, in my opinion. Romance doesn't need to be involved in every since best friend duo, there are enough of them already. In the Boruto series, Lee is seen with his son, Metal Lee. Many think that Tenten is the mother, due to the eye shape, and I think she could easily be. I mean, she's the only kunoichi in Konoha in the same age group as Lee (I think, I haven't fact checked yet), and the girl in his team. Tenten is probably the easiest choice for Lee's wife that Kishimoto could've made. However, if they were to be married and have had a son together, they would now be divorced. This therefore means, that if they had got married, then the relationship would not have worked out, and LeeTen would've failed. If they had not got together, then Lee would've married a different woman, and even if Lee then divorced that mystery woman, they clearly do not have mutual feelings for each other any more. They might have had feelings for each other, at different stages of their lives, but they either both grew out of their crushes or it was only one-sided to begin with.

Second. The NejiHina incident. I'm sorry, but I will have to go on for even longer than LeeTen, because some people don't understand that this ship is incest, and I'll tell you why. Excluding the fact that Neji had strong resentment towards Hinata for quite a period of time, they still wouldn't work out. Their relationship only evolved into *family* love, as confirmed by Kishimoto, just as Boruto loves Himawari, or Temari loves Gaara. What's wrong with a "big brother-little sister love"? Why must everyone make everything romantic? Neji cares deeply for his cousin, as does Hinata. She calls him 'Big Brother Neji', showing that she only sees him as her older brother. Besides, Hinata was so deeply in love with Naruto, she would've never agreed to the marriage. Moving on, a lot of people, from a range of cultures, some of which invite cousin relationships, think that Neji and Hinata getting married and producing heirs is okay. Some of them (purposely?) forget that the reason you don't have kids with your sibling is because it increases the chance of genetic defects dramatically. Although having kids with your cousin is legal (at least where I am), it still has quite a high risk. These people try and back it up by saying that the Hyūga clan would've wanted a pure Hyūga-blooded heir. Hm... Uchiha clan, anyone? Sure, this was common, but there are plenty Uchihas that are so distantly related that it would be fine to have offspring (such as Itachi and Izumi). The same could be said about the Hyūgas. Maybe Neji would've been their best option for a pure blood husband, but there would've been other choices, more people that were much further distanced in relation. I've got this far, and I haven't even mentioned another key fact: you know that Hiashi and Hizashi are twin brothers, right? Identical twins, to be exact. Lemme show you something: "Identical (i.e., monozygotic, or MZ) twins share 100 percent of their genes". You see that? It means that Hiashi and Hizashi share the same DNA. And this means that Neji and Hinata are genetically closer than cousins. They're actually genetically half-siblings. Hm. The Hyūgas are smart enough to figure out that it probably isn't the best idea to inbreed them, right? Well. That doesn't matter, because even if they overlooked all this incestuous evidence, there's this. Hinata isn't even the current heiress. If Neji survived the war, he would not have married Hinata in Boruto. If the Hyūga clan forced him to marry the heiress, and have children to keep a pure bloodline, he would've married Hanabi. Hanabi is the current heiress, so she would be the one married to Neji. Got it yet? Neji and Hinata would never have happened.

The last reason NejiTen should be canon: their chemistry. Tenten is shown to greatly admire and respect Neji, constantly calling him a genius, and she has blushed because of him in the manga several times. He believed in her abilities enough to sit under the practice dummy she was hitting with kunai. Neji comments that her fight would be interesting, showing that he thinks she is a good fighter. He is also shocked at her defeat, further proving that. In the first databook, Kishimoto confirms that Neji and Tenten trained every day for a month in preparation for Neji's chūnin match against Naruto. During this training, Neji reverse engineered and perfected the moves only reserved for the main branch of the Hyūga clan, mainly the Eight Trigrams Sixty-Four Palms and the Eight Trigrams Palms: Revolving Heaven. You should also note that while all the other contestants trained with jōnin, Neji chose to train with Tenten. "During one of their training sessions, birds are shown flying in the sky and Tenten tells him that she is exhausted and can't keep going. Neji responds that he thinks he used too much of his chakra and faints. Tenten is seen running to him and asks him if he's alright." Tenten wore a different outfit to watch Neji's match, and as I said, in the manga she also wore lipstick. After his fight with Kidomaru, Neji remembers seeing Lady Tsunade with Tenten. In the Shippuden, during Team Gai's fight with Kisame, Neji rushes to Tenten's side when she seems to struggle in the Water Prison.

In the image above, it shows the two finishing each other's sentences. They can communicate with little dialogue and know what the other is thinking with only one word. Tenten winks at Neji and invites him to go to the bathhouse with her, both in the anime and the manga. Later, after Neji's death, in the manga, she expresses anger, thinks about Neji and asks why he left her. In her memory, Neji doing the "nice guy pose," which has been performed in the past by Gai, Naruto and Lee. The pose signifies that one will keep their promise until death, as Lee states to Sakura during the beginning of the Sasuke retrieval arc after Naruto does the pose and promises to her that he will get Sasuke back. Neji doing this pose before Tenten implies that he promised her something that he intended to fulfill until his death. In the anime, Tenten holds her hands in a prayer and asks why he left her as she remembers Neji doing this "nice guy pose" to her, then she walks away crying and says that she's never going to forgive him. The implied promise that Neji made to her is not known, but it was significant enough for Neji, who tends to be stoic and serious, to use the cheerful and significant pose his "hot-blooded" sensei and teammate have used in the past. When caught in the Infinite Tsukuyomi, Tenten dreams of more mature versions of Lee and Gai as well as Neji being alive and by her side. She's the only person whose Tsukuyomi dream involves not only Neji being alive, but being with him.

They are shown constantly beside one another throughout the entire story, similar to the couples Asuma and Kurenai, and Shikamaru and Temari. While Neji is very formal and strict, he is shown to be comfortable around Tenten. He isn't shown to mind when she teases him or winks at him. He is also rarely portrayed as a character who apologizes to anyone, but he is shown apologizing to Tenten. In both the manga and anime, birds are present during the scenes where Neji and Tenten are shown alone together. In the manga, the only male character Tenten is shown alone with is Neji.

Other Trivia include:

Tenten's name and Neji's themes compliment each other. "Tenten" literally translates to "heaven heaven" in Chinese, while "Hyūga" translates to "place in heaven." In the new Chūnin Exams arc, Neji is shown holding two heaven scrolls with the characters 天天

Tenten's weapons shop in Boruto is named 忍具転転転, which directly translates to "Ninja Tools Turn Turn Turn." Furthermore, the characters "具転転" in the name translate to "revolving." Thus, the name of Tenten's weapons shop can be a reference to one of Neji's primary moves, Eight Trigrams Palms Revolving Heaven.

During the blank period, Tenten wears a uniform that includes a dress with a flame pattern similar to the flame in the Hyūga clan's emblem.

Neji and Tenten are depicted as compatible: the Databooks reveal that Neji is a Cancer and Tenten is a Pisces. In Western astrology, Cancer and Pisces are considered a compatible and harmonious pairing. The Databooks list Neji's blood type as O and Tenten's blood type as B. The blood type personality theory popular in Japan considers O and B blood types romantically compatible.

Neji, during his death, is portrayed as a Phoenix on fire. In the anime, Tenten utilizes the moves "Twin Rising Dragons" and "Exploding Dragon Strike." In Chinese folklore, the Phoenix and Dragon pair symbolize perfect harmony and balance between yin (Phoenix) and yang (Dragon).

Among the Konoha 11, Neji and Tenten were the only ones who were 18 years old during the Shinobi war, whereas Naruto and Hinata were 16 years old and the rest were 17.

Neji and Tenten share the same hairstyles as Hashirama Senju and his wife Mito Uzumaki.

[pineapple-lover-boy]

Oh my god. I’ve been feeling very guilty for the past few days. My friend tried to set me and a guy up. The guy and I (who I’m already friends with) start talking more often. I enjoy talking with him. I enjoy hanging out with him.

For once I can potentially see myself in a relationship with someone.

But then our mutual friends start confirming that he likes me. He starts getting physically closer and it takes me a few tries of telling him to move before he does. I see how he looks at me, though subtle.

Then it all disappears. Suddenly I feel disgusted at the thought of dating him. And so at one point while messaging him I referred to him casually as a friend. He went into a slump and a mutual friend said I should apologize. While I didn’t really mean it I mentioned that I might have been leading him on and my friend wholeheartedly agreed.

Now for some info that I think is important: in the beginning he asked me out to an event that we’d both be attending. I said yes but that I wanted it to be platonic because I wasn’t sure if I wanted to be in a relationship.

In my perspective this meant our relationship could go either way. And that it would be a natural process that we didn’t have to discuss much. He took it to mean that I just wanted to go slow and that he expected us to be in a relationship in the end.

I did apologize and he accepted. We both agreed that we wanted to still be friends. But I’ve still been feeling guilty. I did something terrible. What if he doesn’t actually want to be friends anymore? What if our friends start hating me for what I did?

And then I found out that lithromantic exists. To be able to have romantic crushes but the idea suddenly becoming unappealing and the crush vanishing once reciprocated.

I even found someone online who was lithromantic and had a similar experience. They felt like they had led someone on because they so obviously had a crush on them. But once that person expressed their feelings and insisted that the other person still liked them, they suddenly felt disgusted.

This whole time I’ve been thinking I’m a terrible person for something I couldn’t control. Is it reasonable to think that because nothing had been confirmed that I would still refer to him as a friend? Is it reasonable that I would still want a platonic relationship when I expressed that I might not want a romantic one?

I laid it out in front of him in the beginning but he still assumed that we would end up in a relationship. What if I started talking to someone and got into a relationship? Would it be my fault when for going into a relationship while being single? We had no claim to each other. I understand it hurts but I feel like he should have prepared mentally for that situation if I told him that things were most likely going to stay how they were.

If you’re still reading this, can I have some insight? I only really started feeling bad about what happened once I talked to that friend. I know how it looks on the outside but I can’t control what his expectations are, especially when I told him that I wanted something platonic.

Edit: just found out it was the girl that went to him so she wasn’t a back up. Either way, I still feel the same. I was nothing more than a surface level crush made to feel more and when I made my feelings known I was shamed for, I guess, not figuring it out sooner. I’m just remembering now one of my friends saying for next time to be more sure of my feelings, as if I hadn’t been trying to figure out my feelings from the get go. Sorry, but emotions aren’t on a clock.

[psychedelic-ink]

𝐊𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐬𝐢𝐚 - 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐒𝐢𝐱 𝐨𝐟 𝐒𝐭𝐚𝐲 𝐈𝐧 𝐁𝐞𝐝

pairing: pre outbreak!joel miller x f!reader, one sided tommy miller x f!reader

genre: angst, smut, romance, slow burn, mutual pining, secret relationship

series summary: After your grandfather’s passing, you find yourself moving into his home in Texas. You meet the Millers; Tommy, his older brother Joel and his daughter Sarah. With time, you and Tommy become close friends and Sarah visits you often. But Joel…Joel keeps his distance. The reason for this is due to one crucial fact you don’t know but he does; Tommy has a crush on you. Which means you’re off limits no matter what. But as your own feelings for Joel grow, things start to get more and more complicated.

word count: 4.8k

chapter summary: Due to a power outage in your home, you have to stay with Joel and Sarah for a couple days until it gets fixed.

warnings: female masturbation, accidental eavesdropping, pillow humping/fucking (joel)

Chapter Five || Chapter Seven

You only see butterflies. 

You see them fluttering at the window, in your kitchen, in your bedroom. You see them sitting on top the mirror in the bathroom, you see them in the cupboards. They’re everywhere. They consume you. In every shape and color, you see them. You see stars on top of their wings, circles, hearts. Some are white, some are pink. But most of them are blue. 

They remind you of him. Of Joel. And you draw—you paint. 

You sketch wings on paper. Paint colors that become them. It’s him. It’s Sarah. It’s Tommy. It’s Olivia. Your brother. Your grandfather. It’s everyone that lingers in your heart, in your mind. You see them in the shapes that you draw. All of them distinctly different. 

Joel is a dark red, a dark purple with splattered white. The wings are sharper, longer, the largest butterflies. The ends of his wings have long extensions like antennas. It is beautiful, ethereal, strong. 

Tommy’s butterflies are similar to Joel’s, only softer around the ages and smaller. Blue, golden, a light shade of red. His wings glimmer under both sunlight and moonlight. Sarah’s are the smallest, pink and blue with a lighter shade of purple. Her design is the most elegant, her wings curl at the end, more fairy-like. 

Olivia’s are green, her wings long and slender. You would be lying if you said you hadn’t drawn inspiration from Tinker Bell—green, yellow with light blue specs. 

It’s the early hours of the morning, soft sunlight only just starting to spill from the windows. Despite your sweatshirt and the blanket you had haphazardly thrown over your shoulders, the early chill settles in your bones. You narrow your eyes, tilting the sketchbook, you hold it towards the overhead light. It’s hard to see and your eyes sting when you blink. But you don’t stop, you can’t stop. They’re everywhere and you need to draw them, you need to put them on paper before they disappear. It’s been months since you’ve painted anything. Now that the colors were splashing over white you don’t want to stop. It’s a breath of fresh air. 

Finally, you’re breathing again after being submerged for so long. 

The realization that you had feelings for Joel, and Tommy for you, make this unrestrained desire to create even stronger. You’re breathing because of Joel—because he had told you to draw butterflies. You want to show him what you’ve made, you want to show Tommy as well. It should make you afraid. The things that you feel. He has someone after all, no matter how serious their relationship might or might not be, however, isn’t this the perfect motivator for any kind of artist? You feel pain. A different kind of pain that you can actually use instead of the grief that aches in your bones. 

Pain is one of the fundamentals of art. The beauty of art comes from within, and so does pain,  it’s the process of creating it not the end product. It’s the journey. Some of your favorite artworks are derived from pain; Dorotea Tanning’s Eine Kleine Nachtmusik, Dali’s Elephants, and The Broken Column by Frida Kahlo. 

Despite being transfixed by Dali’s work (his work with butterflies has been a strong inspiration in what you make), you feel most drawn to Tanning’s style of showcasing pain. You always saw yourself as the girl within the Eine Kleine Nachtmusik, walking down the blood-colored carpet, a giant sunflower in front of her, tattered and ruined. You were always curious about the cracked open door ahead, wondered what might be laying within the only room with an open door.

Your thoughts seep through the pencil, become shapes and lines on paper. You admire the texture of the clean sheets, the lead against it music to your ears. You draw and draw, some making less sense than others. Page after page your butterflies become something else, they become more gruesome with split heads and sharp, glass-like wings. You swallow. The sweat clinging to your skin is cold, your fingers numb. 

And just like that you’re buried in muted darkness. 

“Shit.” you hiss, looking up accusingly to the light. “What the fuck?” 

You get up and head to the window, your fingers curling around the edge of the curtains. It’s early but it seems like some of your neighbors are already awake—and has light. 

“Fuck,” you say again. 

The sun warms your back. You’re staring at the blank screen of the TV. You hear the faint murmurs coming from the Miller’s kitchen, Joel paces back and forth, his socked feet silent. Anxiety clawing at your chest, you shove your hands between your thighs and keep them there. Joel appears. You look up at him as he leans down, placing the phone on the coffee table. 

“So it looks like the power outage is gonna take them a couple of days to fix, maybe even a week,” your heart sinks at his words. He notices and a soft smile tugs at his lips. “Don’t look so worried. You can stay here, we have a spare room. I’ll check on them to see they're doing everythin’ right.” 

“Oh,” you say, a hint of worry etched into your voice. “I wouldn’t want to trouble you with all that. I was just thinking of just calling up my brother, or I can stay at Olivia’s.” 

He waves you off in dismissal. “You ain’t troubling anyone. Besides, it’ll be easier to just bring what you need here. Or if you forget somethin’ you can just go and get it.” 

“Are you sure?” 

“I’m sure, darlin’,” he answers, voice dropping a beat. “Stay.” 

A shudder settles at the base of your spine. You nod. You feel a thick knock in your throat as you swallow. You can still see the lines of sleep mapping across his cheeks, his bed hair a sight to behold. Looking down at the coffee table, you try not to think about how good he looks with his gray sweatpants hugging his thighs—you especially try not to think about the night you drew shapes across his hand and forearm with nothing but your fingers. 

You dream of painting him. Putting him on a blank canvas and hanging it on your wall. He’s a beautiful man. Strong body, a pronounced nose, warm eyes. 

Sarah's sudden jump off the last step startles you and interrupts your thoughts. When she sees your expression, she looks puzzled herself.

“Mornin’,” she greets you, ready for school. “Did something happen?” 

“Power outage,” Joel answers on your behalf, Sarah turns to him. “She’s goin’ to be stayin’ with us for a while.” 

Your heart melts at how wide Sarah smiles, you can see the glimmer in her eyes. “That’s great!” she sits next to you. “Well, not great great, but we can have a sleepover! It’ll be fun, you can teach me how to draw.” 

“Sarah…” Joel warns. 

You cut him off before he can say anything else. 

“That sounds great,” you smile. “I actually have a couple of drawings I’ve been meaning to show you guys.” 

“Really?” Joel asks. 

“Yeah, really.” you answer, grinning at his surprise. You pull out the sketchbook from your bag and place it on your lap. Heat grows between your legs as Joel sits next to you, the meat of his thigh pressed snug against your own. 

Both Miller’s lean in closer, staring at your drawings—themselves, in a way. You don’t think they’ll notice, especially not Joel, but you realize that maybe Sarah does. Her fingers delicately move over the drawing that you did thinking of her.

Sarah grabs your arm and diverts your attention back to her, “Butterflies.”  she murmurs.

“How do you like your coffee?” 

“With milk,” you answer. “A lot of it, preferably.” 

“So milk with a dash of coffee,” he grins, amused. “Got it.” 

It’s been a couple of days since you moved in with Joel and Sarah. It was much easier to live with the father-daughter due than you initially had thought. Tommy came over in the mornings, dropping you off to work and Sarah to school, and the brothers went to do their own thing after that. 

With Joel’s back turned to you, you look down at your sketchbook and add another line to what is supposed to be his unruly hair. He really needs a haircut. 

Surprisingly living with him isn’t weird at all. He made you feel welcome. No awkward glances, no awkward touching. Just neighbors helping each other out. He places the steaming mug next to you and leans on his elbows. He looks at what you’re drawing and raises an eyebrow. 

Joel brings the mug to his lips. 

“You’re paintin’ me?” 

“I’m sketching you,” you answer. “You’re a lovely specimen.” 

“Is that so.” 

The scent of coffee fills your lungs. Lifting your gaze, you observe his facial structures. You see the imperfections, take in the sight of his eyes, his bushy eyebrows, and the bald patches in his beard. You want to touch the small beauty park right in the corner of his eye that’s impossible to see unless you’re an inch further away. 

 If he knew how you saw him—if he knew how big he was in your mind— Joel would be terrified. 

“Do you like art?” you ask, taking him by surprise. He takes a sip of his coffee and your gaze drops back to your sketch.  

He hums, fingers thrumming the kitchen counter. “I like your art.” 

“I should take you guys to an art gallery or something,” you say, smiling. “If you like mine, you’re going to go nuts over the things that are out there.” 

Joel pouts and you roll your eyes. “What are you looking at me like that for?” you ask.

“I like your drawings. They’re—They feel close. I don’t know how else to describe it.” 

It’s because it’s you who I think of when I create them. 

“Do you know Salvador Dali?” you ask, then quickly add. “Or Dorothea Tanning?” 

“Sweetheart, the only artist I know is Da Vinci and I’m not even a hundred percent sure he is one.” 

“He is,” you affirm him excitedly, looking back up. “I love surrealism. It’s when everything gets really weird basically. So—wait let me show you. I think I have a couple of pictures between the pages.” 

You miss the way Joel’s lips slowly curl up, adoration and fondness adorning his face, softening the edges. He comes closer. Your pulse quickens as your fingers rush to find the images, and when they do you basically rip them out from between the pages 

“Look.” 

All of them are images from Dali’s artwork. Mainly butterflies. Joel observes them carefully, touching them as if fearing he might stain them. You urge him to take a closer look by placing one between his thick fingers. It’s The Butterfly Rose. 

“Never thought you would do homework for a hobby.” 

“It’s not—” You let out an exasperated sigh, cutting yourself off mid-sentence. “Do you think I want to work at the coffee house forever? It’s not just a hobby. And of course, as an artist, I look at other art to be inspired. They make me feel things.” Seeing the startled expression on his face, you add, “Don’t you get like…shivers or something when you see a very nice wooden table?”

Oh, you made him uncomfortable. You sense that in an instant. His fingers trace the image of the painting, looking down, you notice the crease between his brows deepening with concentration. Was he concentrating on the image? In your words? You have no idea—the only thing you know is that this man concentrating on art is making your insides clench with a need. 

“Sorry,” he grumbles. “I didn’t mean it like that. I do think you’re a serious artist. It’s just…fuck that came out wrong. I just didn’t think you would put in this much effort to somethin’ I said,” he shakes his head. “Shit, I’m bad at this.” 

That undeniable need to touch him comes rushing back. You bite the inside of your bottom lip instead. “ I think I might’ve overreacted after hearing the same thing from my brother all the time. It’s all good. You might be the only one that takes me seriously so it was unfair for me to jump to conclusions like that.” 

“He don’t support you?” 

“He does…” you trail off. “In his own way, I guess.” 

“That doesn’t sound like support,” he answers, clicking his tongue. “And just FYI I like your butterflies better, sweet tea.” 

“Sweet tea?” you ask, lips curling with amusement and eyes widening with shock. 

He shrugs. “You said you liked Dorothea…somethin’---” 

“Tanning.” you quickly say. “So Sweet Tea as in…the last syllable of her name?” 

“Would you rather I call you Tea?” he asks, raising an eyebrow. 

“Nope!” you grin, your heart elevated. “Sweet Tea is perfect.” 

With a soft smile, Joel places the picture in front of you and gently taps on it. 

“Well then, Sweet Tea,” he says. “Tell me more about this surrealism thing.” 

You and Tommy are waiting by the truck for Joel and Sarah to buy snacks from 7-Eleven. You remember the funny looks the Millers gave you when you suggested buying snacks at the cinema instead. Joel had just shaken his head and steered you towards the truck, his hand on your waist. The touch burned you. 

Then he proceeded to explain the thrill of sneaking something through the cinema doors, and how they deserved it due to their overpriced snacks. The latter you couldn’t really object against. However, you had no idea that the Millers were such kleptomaniacs. 

Tommy had a cigarette between his lips, he pulls it out and exhales a puff of smoke. You watch it mixing into the dark blue night. 

“How’s it like staying with my brother and niece?” he asks. “Hopefully Joel ain’t given’ you too much trouble.” 

“Oh. Not at all,” you smile, waving your hand. “He’s been nothing but kind. You have nothing to worry about.” 

Tommy nods, and he flicks the cigarette to the pavement, stepping on it, he comes closer. “Good good.” you feel his heat, his breath. You shudder. “I miss spendin’ time with you…I mean without anyone else.” 

His voice is a low hum in your ear. You had missed hanging out with him too, but now it's clear that your feelings don't quite match his. Your gaze drifts to the windows of the 7-Eleven, where Joel and Sarah are at the register, scanning the items and chatting. A burst of laughter from Joel warms your heart.

Tommy touches your chin, pulling your gaze back to him. Your pulse quickens under his touch. You swallow. 

“You’ve been distant lately,” he states. “Did I do somethin’?” 

“What?” you gasp, then furiously shake your head. “No. No, of course, you didn’t. I’m…It’s just been hectic with trying to get the power back and the drawings—It doesn’t mean anything, I promise.” 

“If you say so, sweetheart.” he smiles and you fight the urge to let out a breath of relief. “Don’t think about it so much. Joel said the electricity will be back in no time, he might’ve…” he clears his throat. “He might’ve threatened them a bit but it was all light-hearted.” 

You snort. “How can a threat be light-hearted?” 

“You know,” he grins. “When you place a hand on a guy’s shoulder and just squeeze it a bit while smilin’. It’s unnervin’ really. He does that a lot, gives me the creeps sometimes. But then again, a man gotta do what he’s gotta do.” 

“Well, I appreciate it.” you gently kick the pavement with the tip of your shoe. “But no threats necessary. I’m sure they’re going as fast as they can.” 

“We got the goods!”

Sarah comes running, a wide smile stretched across her face as she hugs her jacket tight around her. Joel follows, a lopsided smile on his lips.

When Sarah reaches you and Tommy, she looks around then back to you, she opens the front of her jacket. “See,” she smirks, showing you the various snacks hidden underneath the thick layer. 

Tommy whistles. “That’s quite a haul, baby girl. How long is this movie? Five hours?” 

“I wish,” Sarah snorts. “I’ve been waiting for this a loooong time uncle Tommy. Let me enjoy it.” 

Joel appears next to you, his own jacket also looking a bit tighter. You look up, smiling, and he parts his jacket, showing you, as Sarah had dubbed, “the goods”. 

“I just want to say for the record,” you exclaim, opening the back door. “If you two get sick I’m not cleaning up after you.” 

“You break my heart, Sweet Tea.” Joel answers, hand on his chest as if he’s been shot. “And here I thought you had my back.” 

“I do but not for self-inflicted stomach aches.” 

Sarah slides in after you and Joel takes his place at the passenger seat. Tommy looks at you through the review mirror as he buckles his belt.

“Sweet Tea?” he asks.

“Long story,” you answer, “I’ll tell you later.” 

The cinema. A place where every art form, visual or otherwise, shakes hands and comes together to create the most amazing of worlds. 

Ever since you were a kid you had this connection to the atmosphere. The scent of popcorn, the dim lights, the other movie enthusiasts excited to witness the magic of it all. You don’t know what it is that draws you to it. From memory, you remember instances where it would only be you and your brother at the movies, the two of you practically owning the dark room for about two hours. It was fun, it was almost magical. Just you and him. That’s it. It was a small town so it wasn’t a hard thing to come by. 

Now it’s the opposite. The screening room is filled to the brim, not one seat empty. Joel is on your left side and Sarah on your right, next to her sits Tommy. You notice she keeps patting her jacket. A small smile tugs at your lips, it almost looks like she’s afraid that the snacks would disappear. 

Despite the past and the present being drastically different, the feeling is the same. It’s a similar feeling to returning home after a long time. You’re excited, giddy almost. And it’s not because of the movie you’re about to watch—Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, one of Sarah’s favorite franchises— it’s from the memories of it. 

The lights turn off completely, the commercials start to play. 

Joel leans in, his shoulder brushing against yours. His lips touch your ear and your stomach tightens. You’re happy he can’t see your face. It would’ve been a dead giveaway if he did. 

“Pass these to Tommy,” he whispers, handing you a box of milk duds. You do as you’re told, Joel then pulls out a pack of Reese’s Pieces. “I do prefer the cups,” he mutters into your ear, you’re not listening, you just focus on the warmth of his breath and the way he turns your hand over. “But these will do for now.” 

You feel the small bite-sized peanut butter and chocolatey goodness falling into your sweaty palm. Throwing back your head, you plop them all into your mouth. You feel his gaze but purposefully keep your eyes glued to the screen. He’s too close. His presence bearing onto you like a heavy blanket. 

The movie finally starts and you do everything to keep your non-existent attention span on the large screen. 

An hour in, goosebumps begin to rise over your skin. It’s cold. The chill is something you always forget about the cinema. You didn’t really have a need to bring your jacket with you when you went out, the night air being warm. But of course, you’d forgotten that you always got chilly in the cinema, no matter how hot it was outside. 

Joel must’ve felt your shivering because soon enough you feel his fingers curling around your wrist. He shuffles closer. 

“Are you cold?” he murmurs and you nod. His fingers don’t desert you as he moves over Sarah to grab his jacket. He throws it over you, warmth immediately coiling around your body. “Better?” he whispers. 

“Yeah,” you say. “Thanks.” 

You’re hyper-aware that his hand remains on your wrist, some portion of his jacket covering your tangled limbs. His fingers tighten, thumb smoothing over your heated skin. Your skin prickles under his touch and soon he starts to skim your forearm up and down with the tips of his fingers. You cheat a glance at him but his sole focus is on the screen. His lips are pressed tight, brows pinched together. When a specifically bright scene appears on screen, you can see the vein meandering down his neck. 

You want to stare at him forever but you know you can’t. Your eyes flitting back to the screen, you ignore the way his fingers continue to move. His touch is much rougher compared to your own. More textured. His blunt nails scrape against your skin, the pads of his fingers travel to your knuckles then move back up again. 

It almost feels like he’s returning the gesture from before. The thought strikes fear. Is this his way of telling you that he knows? That he’d sensed your emotions through your fingertips and telling you; I see you. 

You want to snatch your hand away and your fingers twitch with the need for it. You haven’t heard Asha’s name for a while— But it’s not like Joel talked much about his personal life, and when your alone times with Tommy became limited you heard very little from the ongoing relationship. 

In the end, you don’t pull your hand back and he doesn’t stop touching you. The darkness hides the want, the need, the attraction. Because that is what this is right? Attraction. You’re not alone in your feelings. You can’t be. This was a silent message. A plea for you to say, I see you, back. 

And you do see him. You always have. 

The feeling of his fingers long lingers even after the intermission has come and passed. It stays with you as you exit the movies, as you listen to Sarah excitedly talk about her favorite parts, as Tommy bids you three farewell and drives on home. 

It lingers still. 

You don’t know what time it is. The only thing you do know is that it’s late. Very late. But no matter how much you toss and turn you can’t sleep. Your mind is wide awake with thoughts of Joel and nothing else. Him and his fingers, his lips, his neck. 

It shouldn’t surprise you that you end up sneaking a hand under your shirt, feeling yourself and imagining it was him instead. 

The sensation of your fingertips brushing over your sensitive skin is electrifying. You close your eyes and imagine it's Joel's hands exploring your body, his fingers tracing circles around your nipples and teasing them until they become tight and hard. His lips trailing down your neck, leaving a burning trail behind.

You bite back your moans as your hand moves further down, slipping between your thighs. Your fingers tease and stroke, exploring every inch of your wetness. You press down harder, your body aching and begging for more, as you think of Joel's hands exploring you. His fingers slipping in and out of your folds, tantalizing and teasing you until you can't take it anymore.

“Joel,” you whisper into the darkness, a prayer. “Joel, please.” 

Your breathing becomes shallow as your orgasm builds, and you moan out his name as you let go. The sensation washes over you, and you can almost feel Joel's hands on your body, his lips on your skin. When you pull out your fingers, you feel like a ragdoll, your limbs buzzing with your fading orgasm. You let out a breath. 

The phone rings. 

Your eyes narrow when you see Tommy’s name flashing on the small screen. Confusion and worry clouding your post-coitus haze, you pick up the phone. 

“Tommy,” you answer. “Are you alright?” 

“Yeah, yeah I’m fine.” he lets out a breath, his voice sounds frenzied. “I…I saw a—” whatever he was about to say he must’ve decided against saying it because the rest never comes. “I want to ask you somethin’”.

“You can ask me anything.” 

You say it but in hindsight, you probably shouldn’t have. Your heart is restless, your stomach clenching and unclenching in the span of seconds. You hear him breathing heavily from the other line. 

“Would you like to go out with me?” he asks in one exhale. “Like…on a date.” 

Joel doesn’t want the day to start. It’s unbearably warm, and unknowing to him, he had cast his shirt to the floor sometime during the late night. The morning chill settles over his back. His eyes are closed, his cock hard. He presses temptingly into the pillow between his legs. He has no idea how it ended up there, but he’s grateful for the added pressure. Joel doesn’t think he could ever forget what happened last night. 

The way he touched your burning skin under his jacket, the way you kept stealing glances from him—it was all still too vivid in his head. But then…then you went to bed, and so did he. 

When he woke up in the middle of the night to get water, he didn’t expect to hear his name coming from your room. He waited and listened, you whispered it again. It was such a faint sound that if it wasn’t the dead of night there was no way he could’ve heard it. His cheeks heat up at the memory. He just stayed there, like a deer in headlights, and fucking listened to you get off with his name tenderly falling from your lips. 

Joel had turned and rushed back to his room, his parched mouth now filled with saliva, water forgotten. 

And now, with those thoughts swirling in his head, he grinds himself into the soft pillow. A low groan echoes from the back of his throat. He squeezes his eyes tighter. What were you thinking about? Was it images of him tasting your cunt? Him fucking his cock deep into your sopping heat? Which one was it? What was it that forced those sounds out of your lips? 

Frustrated by the lack of friction, his eyes snap open with something resembling anger. Joel kicks off his sweatpants, brings the pillow underneath him, and squeezes the ends together, forming a crease. He shoves his aching cock between them, wishing it was you instead. 

He leans back, letting the warmth of the pillow engulf him, and takes a deep breath. His body is trembling as he moves his hips slowly. He lets out a low moan as his hips grind against the pillow, the sensation of it rubbing against his hard cock setting off sparks of pleasure throughout his body. The morning sun pours from between the curtains, kissing his skin. His hands grip the pillow tight as he moves his body faster and faster, letting out a series of moans and gasps. 

He imagines it's your body he's thrusting against, your soft curves, your tight embrace. His breathing becomes laboured, his balls draw tight, his stomach clenches. He sees a dark patch growing across the fabric. Joel collapses, his face pressing into the sheets as he rocks his hip forward like a dog in heat. His skin feels raw and over-sensitive. Every time the fabric rubs against his skin, he hisses. 

With one final thrust, he lets out a long, drawn-out moan as he comes hard, his mind filled with thoughts of you. 

He falls onto the pillow, panting heavily. The aftershocks of his orgasm ripple through his body. His cock is still pulsing with pleasure as it slowly softens. His hands run over the pillow, feeling the warmth and wetness left behind from his release. He can still feel the tightness of his orgasm, the pressure inside him slowly fading away. He closes his eyes, taking in a deep breath and letting out a satisfied sigh. Joel wants to feel you against him, to cage you in between him and the bed. 

His cock twitches. 

Joel turns onto his side, his body feeling heavy. The guilt gnaws at his insides. What the hell is wrong with him? First, he touches you during the movies like a man possessed, then he listens to you through the door, and now he’s fucking his pillow with thoughts of you. He groans and flips over to his back. He presses the heels of his palms into his eyes, another groan leaving him. 

He has a fucking girlfriend, and no matter how lax the relationship was, he couldn’t continue on doing this. He needs to break up with Asha, then he needs to talk to you, get things sorted. 

When he allows his arms to fall to his sides, Joel entertains the thought that maybe—just maybe—everything might work out. 

[bil-daddy]

hi. Same anon who asked if she could info dump about her love life

So I have a crush on this guy I've known for awhile, we've been friends for our entire life and I'm scared to tell him because it could make things awkward and EVERYONE KNOWS (everyone being our parents and siblings) about my crush on him *hyperventilates*

Hey, love life anon. Thanks for spilling the tea (metaphorical) Let's get started (platonic)

If your (hopefully respective) parents and siblings all already know about your crush on your friend, what makes you think he doesn't already know, too? Either by one or more of them telling him, or by picking up on the same signals they are about your crush.

So, I'm guessing he probably has an idea you like him, but hasn't made a move for one of a few reasons:

He doesn't feel the same but doesn't want to make things awkward and possibly lose the friendship

He does feel the same but doesn't want to risk the friendship in case you guys get together now, then break up in the future

He wants to wait until you're both older, to give the relationship a better chance of working out and lasting, if you're still into each other in a few years and want to give things a go

OR

He's completely oblivious, and feels the same

He's completely oblivious and doesn't feel the same

He's completely oblivious, never considered being more than friends, but now that you mention it, would like to try

Now, this list isn't exhaustive. There could be other reasons. But his reasons aren't the only ones that matter. First, you've got to figure out what you want to do.

Lemme ask you a question. How long have you had a crush on your friend? Is this new? Or have you liked him for years?

If it's new, and you think it might be temporary and pass on it's own, then give it a few months before you act.

But if you've liked him for a while, you should probably do something, just so you can move forward whether or not he likes you back.

Either way, start mentally and emotionally preparing yourself for either option, and the different possibilities they entail.

If you tell your friend you like him and want to try being more than friends, what would that look like if he says he feels the same? Since you're friends, you probably already hang out a lot, so what difference--if any--would there be? If he wants to try dating, the two of you can discuss what that means for you both.

But what if he says he wants to stay just friends? What would that look like? Even if you both try, it would be impossible to carry on as if nothing happened--but that's okay. Since you like him, it's already impossible to carry on forever like that. You're just in a pre-confessional liminal space right now.

If he just wants to be friends, you'll probably both have to take a step back from the friendship. Some friendships return to normal after time off, some don't, and some fall somewhere in between.

Same thing if you date, then break up. Some people can go back to being just friends, some can't, and you never know for sure which kind of people you are until it's you and your ex in that situation.

I'm not telling you this to discourage you from confessing your feelings, but just to prepare you so you can be ready for whatever happens. You can also do a little investigating of your own to prepare yourself, as well.

Your parents and siblings have noticed your crush on your friend. They may have also noticed his crush on you--if he has one.

How do you know they know about your crush? Is it because they said something to you about your crush? Maybe teased you about it? If they ever teased you about your crush, was your friend ever around at the time? What was his reaction?

You could try to find out from your siblings and parents, if they've noticed your friend having a crush on you or not. Mutual friends might also have picked up on something, if there is something to pick up on. There might not be. Or he might be better at hiding crushes.

If you can find out in advance how he feels, or at least gather evidence to form a hypothesis, it might help you decide how you want to proceed. Be it, confessing your feelings* or letting the crush pass.

(*And when I say 'confess your feelings', I don't mean a dramatic oscar worthy speech about how long you've been in in love with him. That's for the movies.

What I mean is: "hey, I think I like you as more than a friend, and I want to explore that with you if you're interested" --in your own words, of course, not like a 'healthy relationship communication textbook.)

Anyway, good luck (platonic). Hope it works out for you.

No. I said that wrong. Whatever happens, it will work out for you. One way or another. Sooner or later. Eventually, it will work out for you, whether or not you and your friend end dating.

Have a New Years ox rib (platonic)

[sankariia]

ONE-WOMAN ARMY.

indie, selective, single-muse and canon divergent blog for a MULTIVERSE // POKEMON OC. read the rules below before interacting. no password required. mutuals only.

ATTENTION: this blog follows from @darkestaken.

                  penned by NØX.   (   + 20.   she // her.   cinematography student.   )

ABOUT HERE.

✧  o1. asks & threads.

If you want to make a plotted thread, y'all just need to hit me up ! Be it on my DMs or Discord ( that I only give to close mutuals ), if you send something I should answer it pretty fast. And if you want to continue a thread based on an ask, there is no problem with that, no need to ask !

✧  o2. roleplay memes.

I do reblog karma here ! This means that I would prefer that you reblog a meme on my blog from the source ! I do not like the notification clogging it does ! I am BEGGING you to reblog both memes and musing posts FROM THE SOURCE. It’s such a pet peeve of mine.

Since many people tend to do that, I have decided that after 3 times someone reblogs a meme from me ( instead of the source )  without sending any, I will softblock said person. This rule does not apply if the source of the meme is broken.

✧  o3. language & grammar.

English is my third language, so be ready, there might be some spelling errors and mistakes, heck, there might be some on this page only ! You might find some posts in italian or french.

✧  o4. godmodding.

is of course non-authorized. Killing my muse without so much of a warning and us plotting beforehand will make me automatically drop the thread. METAGAMING unless warned or talked about before is also non-authorized.

✧  o5. art & credits.

The art used on this blog ( icons & graphics ) will come from both my art & commissioned art.

✧  o6. crossover & ocs.

Both are great ! Usually if you have an about page, you’re already halfway good to go. For crossovers, I have to know the universe your muse is from / you gotta have a verse I can work with, as for OCs, I love OCs to bits and I’ve been an advocate for ocs since 2016.

✧  o7. shipping & nsfw.

I am more than okay with shipping, if of course we’re both on the same page about it. One-sided crushes can happen, both from your character and mine, but if the feelings are unrequited I will not push you for a relationship nor should you expect yourself to do the same towards me. i experience shipping anxiety due to past trauma; for that reason, i prefer to ship with friends, people i vibe with, and people i can go to for reassurance.

NSFW will happen only in the form of violence, dark themes and sexual content, and anything will be tagged. For specific triggers, please shoot me a message.

✧  o8. Battle threads.

For any pokémon battle thread, I will be using the PWT battle system. Please give these a good read, and understand that I demand communication during these types of threads. For rolling the dices, we will be using roll dices with friends. Levels of Felicity's team may be adjusted depending on the timeline of events, or simply to make the battles more fair if there is too much of a level disparency. We can also use Showdown.

✧  o9. Blacklist & triggers.

I have very little squeaks, however I understand that others do. If you need anything tagged, tell me so ! I will not interact with The Amazing Digital Circus, other Glitch Production works, as well as any Vizpop Production muses. If you are a multimuse or have a verse that connects to those, please have a tag I can block.

✧  1o. AI art & other stipulations.

I WILL BLOCK YOU IF I SEE YOU USING AI-GENERATED ART. if you are unaware of the problems ai-generated material causes for the art industry, be it illustrators, writers or animators, i implore you to educate yourself on the matter. as someone who would like to enter the industry one day, THIS IS A DEAL BRAKER TO ME. i understand the curiousity and wanting to do it recreationaly, however, BE AWARE that those do cause harm too and feed the machine.

PLEASE TAG YOUR INTERACTIONS WITH MAE // FOXTAIL // SERA // GORE // ANTICUTES AND PAPAYA // AXOLOLT // GLORY. Their presence is pretty triggering for me. Thank you ! Their URL is enough. I WILL ALSO NOT INTERACT WITH PROSHIPPERS. if we're friends & i find out you're a weirdo, i don't care how long we've been friends, IT'S ON SIGHT AND I WILL NOT BE COVERING YOUR ASS EITHER. i'm a recovering survivor of grooming and abuse and i do not wish to be exposed to that kind of content nor people who actively get off it, and that is my right.

I AM NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR LACK OF COMMUNICATION. as a roleplay partner and friend, i try to be as communicative as possible, and i believe that enjoyable interactions, be it ic or ooc, reside on all parties communicating their needs and wants. IF YOU FAIL TO DO YOUR PART, THAT IS NOT MY FAULT. don't be wishy washy about it, i take things at face value; give me CLEAR STATEMENTS.

[canarymemories]

such a fleeting, precious time

rating: general audiences archive warning: no archive warnings apply relationship: narukami arashi/sakuma ritsu additional tags: fluff, kissing, first kiss, mutual pining, i've been thinking about them so much lately, and i feel like it shows ksdgh, happy naruritsu week date published: 2023-09-11 word count: 2031

summary: instead, “kiss me,” comes out of her mouth.

for naruritsu week day 2: kiss

here on ao3

readying her nails to be painted, arashi hums as she files them. she pauses briefly, running the pad of her thumb along the edges of her nails until she finds a small bump and returns to filing. it’s better to find the little imperfections now, after all.

“nacchan,” ritsu says, sitting at the head of arashi’s bed. she’d painted his nails a nice glossy dark purple before she set to start her own. they should be dry by now she thinks.

“hm?” arashi doesn’t look over at him, instead checking once more to if the bump has been filed away. it’s then that arashi feels a slight warmth on her cheek, fleeting before she can even properly recognize it as ritsu’s lips.

she does look over at ritsu then, who stares innocently back at her. the only tells he gives are a slight twitch of his lips and the amused glint in his eyes.

the two of them flirt all the time, ritsu leaning into it far easier than she does. sometimes arashi wonders if there’s more to it, wonder if it’s weird that she wishes there was. she’s had plenty of crushes, but none of them were reciprocated. at least not in the way she wanted them to be.

but now, she can’t be sure where they stand.

heart racing in her chest, arashi whispers, “ritsu-chan?” 

they flirt plenty, hold hands and lean on one another when they sit next to each other. ritsu sleeps in her lap more often than not, but that kiss felt different than their normal antics. it’d felt different, too, that time arashi had gotten so excited that ritsu had somehow found some items from a makeup collection that she’d grown fond of shortly before it was discontinued and given them to her for her birthday. she hugged him tight and kissed him firmly on the cheek. she’d been caught up in the moment, letting him go so she could sort through what all he’d gifted her, and the kiss hadn’t hit her until she was back in her dorm.

they’d continued on after that, seemingly pretending that it didn’t happen, which only made arashi more confused about what exactly they were.

ritsu looks at her curiously, maybe a bit concerned too at her reaction to a little cheek kiss.

arashi searches for what to say. should she ask if ritsu feels the same way she does? would that cross some sort of unspoken boundary between them? she doesn’t know. she could play this off as just a friendly little kiss, but she thinks she’s too far past that now. plus she’s been meaning to figure this out for a while now.

instead, “kiss me,” comes out of her mouth and despite not meaning to say it, she doesn’t completely regret it.

ritsu freezes them, eyes widening.

arashi tries her best to backtrack, feeling silly for having said that. she waves a hand in the air dismissively, a giggle pitched a little too high to be believable accompanying it. “ah, sorry,” she says, refusing to meet his eyes as she goes back to staring at her hands in her lap, one loosely wrapped around the file. “just ignore that, ritsu-chan.”

one of ritsu’s hands come into her vision, resting on her. she can hear him shift closer to her and part of her wants to shrink away, to laugh all of this off. it’s unfortunate she can’t say she has some prior engagement she has to go to and take the chance to run off; they’re in her dorm so she doesn’t have anywhere to hide out until the embarrassment of all of this wears off.

“nacchan, did you mean it?” he asks.

arashi bites her lip. she could say no and let this moment pass by and they’ll never talk about it again, but that also means they might never have a moment like this again. maybe ritsu would back off on the flirting after this. after all, who gets so flustered over a cheek kiss of all things? not wanting to regret her decision later, arashi gives a shy little nod, not quite trusting her voice to respond, not knowing what else might come out on accident.

with that, there’s a gentle pressure — ritsu’s fingers — turning her head to face him. arashi doesn’t have much of a chance to gauge his reaction to any of this as there’s a mouth on hers.

her eyes flutter shut as she leans ever so slightly into the kiss. there’s a strange sense of relief she feels as ritsu kisses her, his lips moving against hers slow and languid. as her stomach does flips, arashi’s hand finds ritsu’s arm. her fingers curl into the sleeve of his sweater to ground herself in the moment. it doesn’t feel real as she kisses back.

when ritsu breaks the kiss, arashi keeps her eyes closed, worried that she’ll wake from a dream. she focuses on the way her lips tingle, the way their fingers are laced together, though she isn’t sure when that happened.

there’s a light bump on her forehead that makes arashi open her eyes. she stares back at ritsu as he pulls back from having pressed their foreheads together for a brief second.

“you’re beautiful,” ritsu murmurs.

with that, arashi surges across the small distance between them, her hands cupping his cheeks as she kisses him herself this time. however, she puts a little too much force into it and she can feel one of his teeth poking her bottom lip. “sorry,” she says against his mouth. feeling the way his breath hitches as their lips brush gives arashi some courage, careful to kiss him more gently this time now that she’s already so close.

ritsu lets her lead this time in a kiss more eager than the first. arashi vaguely notes the hand he sets on her waist, too distracted by him kissing her back and how he’s trying to match her enthusiasm. 

he lets her press a peck and then another to his lips as she reluctantly pulls back. ritsu gets a quick one on her in return before she’s fully retreated.

arashi’s hands fall back to her lap, uncertain of what to do with them now. ritsu’s cheeks are faintly red, lips tinted slightly darker from them kissing. the thing that gets to her, though, is the barely there sheen on and smudged slightly around ritsu’s mouth having been transferred from the gloss she has on.

it’s then that the last couple of minutes click for her. arashi feels hot and she hides her face in her hands. “oh my god,” she whispers. she’d forgotten for a moment that all of this is real and truly happening, that the two of them are sitting on her bed in her dorm, and she’s not having some hyperrealistic daydream.

after some shifting on the bed next to her, a knee bumping against her leg, a pair of arms loosely wrap around her waist and a head is tentatively placed on her shoulder. she’s all too used to ritsu holding onto her like this, using her as a crutch in his early morning sleepiness, although this time is more cautious than normal.

“i’ve wanted to kiss you for a while, nacchan,” ritsu admits after a beat.

arashi’s hands drop from her face as she turns to look at him, only to be met with a face full of his hair on her shoulder. “what?”

“i’ve wanted to kiss you for a while,” he repeats, turning his head so his chin brushes against her shoulder, hovering just enough above it so they could look at each other.

she stares at him. “really?” arashi, of course, has been hoping that whatever was going on between them is mutual, but with having confirmation of that, she doesn’t know what to do, what to make of it.

“did you think all the flirting was just for fun?”

arashi splutters at that. “ritsu-chan, that’s not fair. don’t make fun of me.”

his hold on her shifts as one of ritsu’s hands come up to trace her cheekbone. “but you’re so pretty when you’re all red, nacchan,” he says, a soft chuckle in his voice.

she bats his hand away with a huff. “i didn’t think you would…” she trails off. arashi had been scared about not being loved for who she is, though those concerns have been slowly lessening. she'd, of course, worried about the same thing with ritsu, but that passed quick with all of the kind words and compliments that got her into this whole questioning if her feelings were reciprocated mess. she knows he likes her as a friend at the very least and now... it seems like maybe it really wasn't one sided at all. “that you would want to kiss me.”

“hm? does that mean nacchan wanted to kiss me too?” ritsu rests his chin on her shoulder. the playful shine to his eyes and slowly growing smile lets arashi know this won’t be the end of hearing about this.

arashi turns her head the other way, crossing her arms over her chest. “you already know the answer to that. now stop or else i’ll toss you out.”

ritsu laughs, a pretty little sound, as his arms tighten around her. he nuzzles into her side, his head making its way to her neck where his nose rubs along the side of it. “i’m sorry, nacchan, don’t kick me out,” he says, hardly sounding apologetic.

arashi sighs, one arm lowering to rest on ritsu’s while the other goes up as she pats ritsu’s head. “fine,” she says. “i guess you can stay.”

ritsu hums happily, leaning into her touch as her fingers run through his hair. they sit like that for little longer. he pulls her closer and arashi lets herself lean against him, ritsu’s arms wrapped around her tight but not uncomfortably so. arashi thinks that there really was nothing to worry about.

she’d spent so much time fearing their friendship would be ruined if she ever said anything about her feelings. spent a few too many times burying her face in her pillow and making a variety of noises as she ran through something ritsu had done earlier in the day in her head. she’d even consulted nyanko about this all, only receiving a flick of a tail and a meow.

but seeing that arashi is fairly certain ritsu is falling asleep on her now, there was no reason to be so worried. they’ve stuck together through so much already, so some feelings wouldn’t have pulled them apart in the first place.

but where does that leave them now?

she decides that they’ll figure it out later; ritsu is definitely falling asleep on her and she doesn’t want to be stuck as his pillow just yet. “ritsu-chan, don’t fall asleep on me. i still have to paint my nails.”

ritsu grumbles. “i was hoping you wouldn’t notice.”

arashi laughs, ruffling ritsu’s hair as he starts to move away from her. “it’d be hard to not notice, ritsu-chan. we don’t have much longer before tetora-kun will be back.”

after yawning, ritsu huffs. “why can’t we kick him out when he gets back?”

“ritsu-chan,” she scolds, standing to look through her nail polish collection to choose a color.

“what? it’s my nacchan time and i don’t want to be interrupted.”

arashi rolls her eyes, ignoring the fuzzy feelings she gets from him saying that. picking a color, she returns to her bed. ritsu reaches out towards the little bottle.

“let me do it,” he says.

“are you sure?”

ritsu nods resolutely, so she hands it to him. while he’s busy with that, arashi shifts to sit facing him. he looks up at her once the bottle is open and holds a hand out. she offers her right hand right and rather than beginning with her nails, ritsu leans in and kisses her again a little too long to be considered a peck.

with a proud little smile, ritsu starts on her nails.

it looks like she’ll have to get used to him kissing her. not that she minds.

end notes: title from jewel stone, the full line is "telling jokes, flirting a little, such a fleeting, precious time" which,, certainly fits happy naruritsu week everyone 🥺🥺 they're so silly (just wait until my day 6 piece)

[foulflames]

TROUBLEMAKER !!!

indie, selective & single blog for AMIRA RASHID, OF THE MONSTER PROM FRANCHISE. super cross-over friendly. read about & rules below before interacting. no password required. mutuals only.

              penned by NØX.   (   + 20.   she // her.   cinematography student.   )

INFO.

✧  o1. asks & threads.

If you want to make a plotted thread, y'all just need to hit me up ! Be it on my DMs or Discord ( that I only give to close mutuals ), if you send something I should answer it pretty fast. And if you want to continue a thread based on an ask, there is no problem with that, no need to ask !

✧  o2. roleplay memes.

I do reblog karma here ! This means that I would prefer that you reblog a meme on my blog from the source ! I do not like the notification clogging it does ! I am BEGGING you to reblog both memes and musing posts FROM THE SOURCE. It’s such a pet peeve of mine.

Since many people tend to do that, I have decided that after 3 times someone reblogs a meme from me ( instead of the source )  without sending any, I will softblock said person. This rule does not apply if the source of the meme is broken.

✧  o3. language & grammar.

English is my third language, so be ready, there might be some spelling errors and mistakes, heck, there might be some on this page only ! You might find some posts in italian or french.

✧  o4. godmodding.

is of course non-authorized. Killing my muse without so much of a warning and us plotting beforehand will make me automatically drop the thread. METAGAMING unless warned or talked about before is also non-authorized.

✧  o5. art & credits.

The art used on this blog ( icons & graphics ) will come from both my art, commissioned art, and fery's Parties Are For Losers character's Anya, which is Felicity's face claim.

✧  o6. crossover & ocs.

Both are great ! Usually if you have an about page, you’re already halfway good to go. For crossovers, I have to know the universe your muse is from / you gotta have a verse I can work with, as for OCs, I love OCs to bits and I’ve been an advocate for ocs since 2016.

✧  o7. shipping & nsfw.

I am more than okay with shipping, if of course we’re both on the same page about it. One-sided crushes can happen, both from your character and mine, but if the feelings are unrequited I will not push you for a relationship nor should you expect yourself to do the same towards me.

NSFW will happen only in the form of violence, dark themes and sexual content, and anything will be tagged. For specific triggers, please shoot me a message.

✧  o8. Battle threads.

For any pokémon battle thread, I will be using the PWT battle system. Please give these a good read, and understand that I demand communication during these types of threads. For rolling the dices, we will be using roll dices with friends. Levels of Felicity's team may be adjusted depending on the timeline of events, or simply to make the battles more fair if there is too much of a level disparency. We can also use Showdown.

✧  o9. Blacklist & triggers.

I have very little squeaks, however I understand that others do. If you need anything tagged, tell me so ! I will not interact with The Amazing Digital Circus, other Glitch Production works, as well as any Vizpop Production muses. If you are a multimuse or have a verse that connects to those, please have a tag I can block.

✧  1o. AI art & other stipulations.

I WILL BLOCK YOU IF I SEE YOU USING AI-GENERATED ART. if you are unaware of the problems ai-generated material causes for the art industry, be it illustrators, writers or animators, i implore you to educate yourself on the matter. as someone who would like to enter the industry one day, THIS IS A DEAL BRAKER TO ME. i understand the curiousity and wanting to do it recreationaly, however, BE AWARE that those do cause harm too and feed the machine.

PLEASE TAG YOUR INTERACTIONS WITH MAE // FOXTAIL // SERA // GORE AND PAPAYA // AXOLOLT // GLORY. Their presence is pretty triggering for me. Thank you ! Their URL is enough. I WILL ALSO NOT INTERACT WITH PROSHIPPERS. if we're friends & i find out you're a weirdo, i don't care how long we've been friends, IT'S ON SIGHT AND I WILL NOT BE COVERING YOUR ASS EITHER. i'm a recovering survivor of grooming and abuse and i do not wish to be exposed to that kind of content nor people who actively get off it, and that is my right.

I AM NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR LACK OF COMMUNICATION. as a roleplay partner and friend, i try to be as communicative as possible, and i believe that enjoyable interactions, be it ic or ooc, reside on all parties communicating their needs and wants. IF YOU FAIL TO DO YOUR PART, THAT IS NOT MY FAULT. don't be wishy washy about it, i take things at face value; give me CLEAR STATEMENTS.