#they mentioned deer once and I ran with it

[that-one-enby-kid]

No context art for an uprooted au I’m working on

[scoutswritingcorner]

Hello lovely ~ gonna request what we were talking about~

Alastors antlers shedding♡ literally? Anything you wanna say about it

Shedding Season

Alastor x GN!Reader

TW: Antlers being Shed, Alastor being clingy. 18+ as it does mention Alastor having a rut. Nothing graphic I promise

A/N:This is my take on how he would deal with his antlers shed and how he deals with his rut.

Alastor finds himself needing help with shedding his antlers. You decide to help him out

It started off fine for Alastor, at first it was more of an urge to stay near his lover, you, it didn’t really bother him as he was a busy man and had things to take care of but it got worse after a day or two. The urge to stay in your vicinity got worse as he got even more agitated than before if he strayed away from you or Satan forbid Lucifer or Husker got too close to you. Then it was the constant motion of him rubbing his face into your neck or shoulder when no one was around, you didn’t seem to mind one bit but it agitated him to no end. But the feeling went away once you carefully ran your fingers through his hair, brushing near his antlers and ever so carefully scratching which caused him to pull you closer to him. 

Then it was how his body was reacting, how he couldn’t even wear his own coat anymore. It was like every article of clothing was suffocating him and how he hated it so. The best course of action he thought of was hiding in his room away from prying eyes and ears as he snarled out rubbing his horns on one of the many trees in the bayou in his bedroom. He didn’t need you to see how pathetic he looked and felt, his sweet doe would never look at him the same if they saw him like this. He was sure of it. Despite being in his own room, the wind of the familiar bayou felt on his warm body wasn't enough for him. It wasn’t until he heard a knock on his bedroom door that sent his ears turning to the sound and his head snapping up in anger.

“Alastor? Darling?” You called out from the other side of his bedroom door, his heart pounded before he willed his way towards the door ignoring the pain his antlers were giving him. He shakily gripped the doorknob before opening it only a bit. “Yes, Dear?” He asked softly trying to keep his anger at bay as his chest heaved with every heavy breath. You softly smiled at him, “May I come in?” You asked, holding onto the door frame leaning closer to him.

He weighed the options for a moment before eventually allowing you into his room, finally noticing the small basket in your hands, he tilted his head confused. Closing the door behind you he watched as you sat on his chair and waved him over, “Come here you silly deer.” You teased, causing him to huff but he followed your directions as much as he wanted to argue, he knew better. Especially at this moment. You held out your hands to him, the basket on the side of the chair, he slowly held your hands as you pulled him to sit on the ground in between your legs, his back towards the chair. 

“Need a drink or something to snack on, Love?” You asked him as he shook his head silently, he was rarely ever silent. You reached up and gently rubbed his shoulders noticing how warm his skin felt. “You’re rut is around the corner isn’t it?” He froze at the mention of his rut as his hand reached up to rub at his face. “Yes..I do believe it’s that time of year again, Cher.” He replied the radio static filter from his voice was gone as he let out a deep heavy sigh. 

You reached down and grabbed a cold water bottle to hand to him. “Drink up, Al..I’m gonna try and help you get this velvet off your antlers okay?” You whispered, pressing a gentle kiss to his head. Alastor could only nod and mumble out a warning but you’ve been through this rodeo with him before. You reached down to get the tools from the basket as well as some of his favorite snacks that you got from Rosie earlier today. “They might shed as well, Al..just let it happen okay?” You carefully brushed back his hair seeing as a few strands stuck to his head that was covered in sweat. He could only reply with a hum leaning his head back against you. You were gonna have to get him a cold rag soon as well.

As you began to slowly and carefully help get the velvet off of his antlers he let out a low groan closing his eyes as sweat covered his face and neck. “Want me to go get you a cold rag, Darlin?” You asked softly tilting his head back carefully watching as he opened his eyes, his everlasting smile had dropped a while ago. “No..not yet..” He whispered out, you went back to silently helping him knowing how overwhelmed he gets during these times. 

It was only after you had gotten all of the velvet off of his antlers that something hit the floor with a soft thud making Alastor jump nonetheless. You looked over after making sure you had everything put back up and noticed his two antlers had shed, making him grumble loudly as he leaned his head back into your stomach. “Come on, Al..let me go get a rag for your face and neck.” You whispered slowly getting up as he leaned forward watching you. “Take a sip of water and eat up, okay? I don’t need you dealing with your rut on an empty stomach.” He waved a hand towards you but did what you had asked of him.

The rest of the night was spent with him sitting between your legs as you carefully washed the sweat from his face and neck, whispering soft reassurances as he kept drifting in and out of sleep. Soft jazz playing in the background as his shadow carefully wrapped around your body.

He felt a million times better and he knew that the weeks of his rut would be over soon enough with you helping him with how uncomfortable it made him.

[alastor-simp]

La Vie en Rose🌹 - Alastor X Reader

Requested by @hitherethea

"Ugh FML!" Groaning out loud, your body was slowly making its way to somewhere quiet. Today was a very unlucky day, as there was many mishaps that left you feeling frustrated and emotionally drained. Earlier in the morning, you dropped a few plates while putting them away for Niffty. Niffty said it was fine and cleaned up the mess, but it left you feeling extremely guilty. After that incident, you were tasked with getting some groceries for the kitchen, only to being catcalled and nearly sexually harassed by some grotesque reptile demons once you started to head back to the hotel. Nothing happened to you physically, but god, why do some people have to be so gross?! Once you got back, your head got nearly speared by Vaggie on accident when you walked in through the door. She wasn't aiming for you thankfully, she was trying to hit Sir Pentious after he accidentally blasted her favorite ribbon with a laser gun. She grabbed the spear and ran away to catch Sir Pentious, yelling out an apology to you as she chased after a screaming snake slithering down the hallway.

Lord you couldn't catch a break. Your only place of sanctuary was the porch in your room. The view always helped you relaxed and the breeze was nice, despite the mass pollution in the air. Entering your room, you slowly made your way to the porch. The sky was covered in stars, but instead of pitch black, it was a dark vermilion. Well, this was Hell, so it was better then nothing. Heaving a sigh, you moved to one of the chairs on the porch and took a seat, throwing your head back as you tried to relax from the migraine that was starting to form. A few minutes went by as you continued to lean back in the chair, listening to the sounds of the cars screeching below and people yelling profanities at one another. "Why the long face my dear?" A static voice appeared next to your head, causing you to jolt and nearly fall off the chair. Looking up, you see a certain deer demon, leaning down due to his tall height, smiling like a jester at your reaction. "Not funny Al." Grumbling from your position, you got up and sat back properly in your seat. Alastor stood up to his normal position, and broke into a fit of laughter, probably still finding your reaction hilarious. "HAHA! Apologies, my dear! I didn't expect you to take a tumble!" He made his way over to the other chair and sat down, placing his microphone against the wall, before turning to you with his legs crossed and hands on his lap. Finding his response ridiculous, you rolled your eyes. "Yeah right. You enjoy scaring the crap out of everyone."

Shrugging his shoulders, he continued to stare at you, smiling widely. "Anyhoo! What seems to be troubling you, my dear?" Alastor asked you, as he continued to stare at you. His sharp smile turn to a more soft grin as he awaited your response. Sighing again, your eyes turn back to gaze at the view. "Not a very good day today. I made a mess for Niffty, almost got raped by some gross lizard-like demons when I left the grocery store, and then the icing on the cake was getting nearly speared by Vaggie from her chasing after Sir Pentious." Alastor continued to listen to you, his face changing a bit from slight sadness to extreme anger, especially when you mentioned the demons who tried to assault you. Looks like he has some hunting to do later. He may be a serial killer, but any inappropriate actions towards a lady infuriates him. Pushing his feelings of carnage away, he continued to stare at you. Your body was slouched on the chair as your eyes continued to stare at the sky. Instead of the kind smile you usually wore, it was replaced with a somber frown. Moving his hand slowly, he placed his clawed hand on your head, giving you a slight rub. He wasn't use to acts of affection, so this was the best he could offer. "Is there something I can do to make that frown of yours turn back into a smile?" Surprised by Al's words, you looked back at him. He was still smiling, but he was staring at you with kind eyes. You found it sweet that he wanted to cheer you up instead of leaving you alone in your negative emotions. Thinking long and hard about what you wanted, you came to a conclusion.

"Um, could you sing for me perhaps?" Al nearly froze at your request. Out of all the things you wanted, you wanted to hear him sing? Oh what a charming doll you were! Alastors smile grew tremendously, almost to the point it broke his face. Grabbing his microphone, he turned to you, positively joyful at your request. "My my! What an adorable request! Now then! What song would you like me to sing my dear? Request away!" Alastor was beaming at you. He was surprisingly cute like this, but you wouldn't tell him that. Any song? This was tough. You knew he was a fan of oldies and jazz and detested some music genres. Soon you came up with the perfect song for him to sing to you. Blushing at him, you looked away from him, twirling your hair with your fingers. "La vie en rose, please." Alastor was actually surprised at your choice, as he tilted his head. "Why that particular song, my dear?" You looked back at him, face flushed. "Well, I heard that you knew how to speak French, so I kinda wanted to see if it was true or not." Twiddling your fingers, you continued to stare at Al, who was still smiling. "Can you really? Speak French, I mean?" Alastor nodded his head: "Oui mon cher!" Oh no, that made your heart race. Al's voice was already amazing as it was, now you get to hear him sing to you in French?! Someone better pinch you to make sure this is not a dream.

Clearing his throat, Alastor adjusted his position, placing his mic in front of him, as he was preparing for his small performance for you.

(Credit to Paranoid Dj on Youtube for this awesome cover)

🎶𝑄𝑢𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑖𝑙 𝑚𝑒 𝑝𝑟𝑒𝑛𝑑 𝑑𝑎𝑛𝑠 𝑠𝑒𝑠 𝑏𝑟𝑎𝑠

𝑄𝑢'𝑖𝑙 𝑚𝑒 𝑝𝑎𝑟𝑙𝑒 𝑡𝑜𝑢𝑡 𝑏𝑎𝑠

𝐽𝑒 𝑣𝑜𝑖𝑠 𝑙𝑎 𝑣𝑖𝑒 𝑒𝑛 𝑟𝑜𝑠𝑒

𝐼𝑙 𝑚𝑒 𝑑𝑖𝑡 𝑑𝑒𝑠 𝑚𝑜𝑡𝑠 𝑑'𝑎𝑚𝑜𝑢𝑟

𝐷𝑒𝑠 𝑚𝑜𝑡𝑠 𝑑𝑒 𝑡𝑜𝑢𝑠 𝑙𝑒𝑠 𝑗𝑜𝑢𝑟𝑠

𝑀𝑎𝑖𝑠 𝑚𝑜𝑖, 𝑐̧𝑎 𝑚𝑒 𝑓𝑎𝑖𝑡 𝑞𝑢𝑒𝑙𝑞𝑢𝑒 𝑐ℎ𝑜𝑠𝑒

𝐼𝑙 𝑒𝑠𝑡 𝑒𝑛𝑡𝑟𝑒́ 𝑑𝑎𝑛𝑠 𝑚𝑜𝑛 𝑐œ𝑢𝑟

𝑈𝑛𝑒 𝑔𝑟𝑎𝑛𝑑𝑒 𝑝𝑎𝑟𝑡 𝑑𝑒 𝑏𝑜𝑛ℎ𝑒𝑢𝑟

𝐷𝑜𝑛𝑡 𝑗𝑒 𝑐𝑜𝑛𝑛𝑎𝑖𝑠 𝑙𝑎 𝑐𝑎𝑢𝑠𝑒

𝐶'𝑒𝑠𝑡 𝑙𝑢𝑖 𝑝𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑚𝑜𝑖, 𝑚𝑜𝑖 𝑝𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑙𝑢𝑖 𝑑𝑎𝑛𝑠 𝑙𝑎 𝑣𝑖𝑒

𝐼𝑙 𝑚𝑒 𝑙'𝑎 𝑑𝑖𝑡, 𝑙'𝑎 𝑗𝑢𝑟𝑒́ 𝑝𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑙𝑎 𝑣𝑖𝑒

𝐸𝑡 𝑑𝑒̀𝑠 𝑞𝑢𝑒 𝑗𝑒 𝑙'𝑎𝑝𝑒𝑟𝑐̧𝑜𝑖𝑠

𝐴𝑙𝑜𝑟𝑠 𝑗𝑒 𝑠𝑒𝑛𝑠 𝑒𝑛 𝑚𝑜𝑖

𝑀𝑜𝑛 𝑐œ𝑢𝑟 𝑞𝑢𝑖 𝑏𝑎𝑡🎶

Two words, HOLY S***! His voice was incredible! The whole time during his performance, you were blushing madly, but also it felt like all the frustration you were feeling before slowly diminished. Singing out the last of the lyrics, a sound of applause radiated from his microphone. "Enjoyed the performance, darling?" Alastor looked back at you, noticing your flushed face and wide eyes. "Darling?" Alastor tilted his head at you, confused at your reaction. Breaking from your trance, you started nodding rapidly. "Yes! I enjoyed your performance very much!" Satisfied that you enjoyed it, Alastor gave a nod, as he placed his microphone back to where he left it. Looking back at you, he raised his hand and grabbed your chin with his fingers. "Feeling better, chérie?" His ruby eyes gazed into yours, almost as if he was staring into your soul. Heat rose to your cheeks as you suspected you were as red as his hair. "Y-es I am. Thank you again Al." No longer feeling upset about the day, your emotions improved and you gave Al a warm smile. Humming with approval, Al still held your chin, but not before leaning closer to the point your noses were touching. "Wonderful my dear! Glad your smile has returned especially since you are never fully dressed without one! If you desire another performance in the future, seek me out."

Goosebumps began to form on your skin, as you continued to stare at Al. He is so close!!! Tongue-tied, you nodded your head. Pleased with your response, Al let go of your chin and stood up from the chair, adjusting his suit and hair. He remembered his previous mission, before he sang to you. Feelings of wrath and rage bubbled inside him, but he hid it as not to alarm you. "Well then! I have some business to attend to at the moment! Have a good evening my dear!" Alastor bid you a farewell, as he diminished in a black shadow, and disappeared from your eyes. Watching Al leave, you covered your face with your hands. It was true you were no longer feeling upset about today, but now you were starting to feel other emotions. Your heart was pounding and your palms were sweating. What was this feeling? It wasn't fear, cause you knew you weren't scared of Alastor, so what was it? Admiration? Or was it something else?

[selineram3421]

Deer Demon Child Headcanons

Requested

Alastor & Child Reader

Warnings? ⚠

⚠ implied death, mention of blood, mention of cannibalism, weapons-gun ⚠

It was a surprise to everyone that a child wandered into the hotel.

A little deer demon.

That's you

Climbed up one of the bar stools and stared the cat man down until he finally noticed them.

"Uh..hey? Kid."

"I want juice!", you pointed at a bottle behind him that was on the shelf.

"That's not juice."

While distracting you with magic tricks and cards games, Husk called Charlie to let her know that a new guest had arrived.

The Princess ran to get to the lobby and rushed over to the bar.

"Hi! Welcome to the Hazbin Hotel!", Charlie sings out before noticing the little deer. "Oh."

Everyone is called into the lobby.

"Ok!", Charlie claps her hands together and introduces you to the group. "Everyone, be nice and say hi."

Later on you are asked by Vaggie and Charlie how you got to the "red place."

Mostly everyone left and it was only you three. Four.

"Before I woke up here I was with my moma.", you said while coloring your drawing. "Dad had a shiney toy in his drawer and showed it to me a lot of times. It made fun clicking noises. I wanted to play with it, so I took it out."

As you were explaining you drew out the shape of a gun.

"I wanted to show Moma but she looked scared. And when I tried to make the clicky noise it came out different. It made a bang and then Moma fell."

You drew your mother covered in red.

"I tried to wake her up but she wouldn't get up. I got sad and started crying."

You didn't notice Charlie and Vaggie looking sad.

"Then Dad came home and started screaming at me and took the toy away. And then everything went dark for a while."

Picking up your paper, you showed the girls your drawings.

"And then I woke up to the red sky!"

Charlie hugged you after and said that she'll make sure you go to Heaven.

Oof sad backstory.

Husk literally growls at Alastor everytime he mentions venison for dinner.

Alastor has joked to others that he'll eat you but stopped once he grew fond of you.

"Little fawn.", he smiles as he greets you. "Would you like gingerbread cookies?"

To be honest, everyone is worried that Alastor might kill you. But surprise, surprise! They are shocked when he takes care of you instead.

You're the favorite hotel guest.

Anyone that tries anything will be taken care of.

Charlie did a talent show day and you sang, surprising everyone with your angelic like voice.

You're a curious little deer and the hotel guests and staff find you in odd places.

Once Angel found you upsidedown behind the couch that was against the wall.

"What are ya doing back there?", he asked after pulling you out.

"Niffty said there was treasure!", you smiled.

Alastor finds it adorable that you go to him when someone you don't know/scary person is in the hotel.

Sir Pentious is told to put all of his weapons away.

Everyone dubs you as Alastor's child. Even the Radio Demon himself.

Vaggie threatens Alastor after he jokes that you'll be a cannibal like him.

Of course he'd never do that but its funny to see Vagatha's and Husker's pissed off faces.

Alastor keeps up with the human news and learns that your father went to prison. So the Radio Demon waits for the man to fall.

Art will be provided. (Later)

~Seline, the person.

Art

Taglist@

@ducky-died-inside @scary-noodlesblog @c4rved-pumpk1n @stolas-thebirb @naelys-the-aster @biromanticboba @kiraisastay @faioula16 @pooplyface1423 @lbcreations-blog @+?

ML for Alastor🎙

[hannieehaee]

hi! i hope u are doingg greattt! can u please do a wonwoo fic about when u get into an accident while ur husband!wonwoo was on a tour????????plzzzz do this fic and a happy endingg plzzzz

content: husband!wonwoo, idol!wonwoo, established relationship, gender neutral reader, angst, mentions of an accident, mentions of hospital, (tw for car accident implications), fluff, happy ending, etc.

wc: 1188

a/n: thank u for requesting!! sorry i took a lil while to get to it T-T

masterlist

wonwoo had never felt such fear in his life. i mean, how else was he supposed to react to such an unpredictable situation?

last he had spoken to you had been only three hours ago. on the phone. he had bid you goodbye for the night, letting you know he was about to go on stage and that he'd call you the next morning due to your time differences. he knew you'd be going home from work and head straight to sleep, so he didnt want you to feel like you had to wait up for him as he finished his never-ending setlist.

the next thing he knew, he was walking into the backstage area once more, exhausted but ready to head back to the hotel. except his plans had been interrupted by his manager, who pulled him aside to give him the grim news.

you had gotten on an accident on your way home. there were no more details at the moment. something about your best friend calling wonwoo from the hospital, but his manager had picked up, not understanding much from your friend's frantic rambles. wonwoo's heart immediately dropped at the implication. an accident could mean anything. it had happened on your way home, so that couldve implied a car accident .. wonwoo couldnt breathe anymore. the more he thought, the more his heart raced. his breath became heavy at the bare thought of you scared and alone while at home, not having your husband by your side.

he had been having fun on stage with his best friends while you had gotten hurt. there was no way for him to forgive himself for not being with you right now. he called your phone over and over as he ran to his assigned car, not even caring to change out of his concert ensemble. in the meantime he had his manager book him a flight to you immediately, not giving a second thought to any repercussions to his absence.

it took him a while to receive a response from you, or well, your best friend. she had called from your phone, letting him in on more details of your accident. wonwoo couldnt help but let out a sigh of relief at the news. you were okay. you were alive. you had swerved too harshly in order to avoid a deer that had gotten in your way, which caused the car to crash against a tree. the hood of the car was destroyed beyond reparation, but you had been left injured, but almost unscathed past a few broken bones. it was a broken arm, a broken collarbone, and a few scratches (re: a ton), but it was manageable. he would still dote to you until you healed, but he was just extremely content that you were okay.

regardless of your state, wonwoo still insisted on flying out to you. according to your best friend, you were still passed out. fortunately for wonwoo, his flight would take him to you within five hours, meaning you'd likely be awake by the time he got to you. his heart couldnt help but continue to race for you. the scare was still fresh in his mind, and the thought that he wouldve been away from you had it been something worse made him want to repent.

somehow he managed to fall asleep during the flight, only to be awoken by his manager the moment the plane landed. thankfully, it had been an unplanned flight, which meant wonwoo had the luxury of no one awaiting him at the airport. he had covered himself up – a bucket hat and a face mask sufficed to get him to where he needed to be with no recognition. he made the trip as quick as possible, feeling an instinctual need to be by your side.

after some very inconvenient paperwork, he made it to your room, standing outside as he pondered as to why he was scared to go in. you were fine. and probably even awake by now. but he couldnt help but think: it had taken him a total of seven hours to get to you. if anything ever happened to you, his idol schedule would always get in the way. your husband was not truly a husband. he was always away, always prioritizing his work and his fans, unable to tend to you in such moments. he always knew you'd be better off with someone who partook a more conventional career, but moments like this truly proved his theory.

even now, he felt like a terrible partner. he was pitying himself instead of checking on you. the realization made him shake his head at his own thoughts, forcing them away as he walked in. any thinking prior to that moment had been useless, as his heart became swollen with adoration the moment he saw you look up at the door, smiling as soon as your eyes landed on him. you didnt pay mind to your injuries, sitting up and extending your healthy arm towards him to draw him in.

he couldnt help but fall into your arms, doing his best to avoid any broken bones as he held you against him. he was aware that some of his body weight was above you, but you wouldnt let him pull away to readjust. you wanted him in your arms as much as he did you.

damn any insecurities wonwoo had. he'd be selfish and keep you to himself. if he had to exhaust himself through hours of travel to get to you, he would. or even better, he'd take you with him from now on. be damned anything that tried to get in the way of him and his love.

"my love ..."

"dont worry, nonu. im fine! it was just a freak accident. you didnt have to come, but ... fuck, im so happy you're here," you rambled as soon as you pulled away, still keeping him sitting on the bed as you leaned as close to him as possible.

"ill always come, you know that," he paused, "you scared the fuck out of me, i ... that call. ive never been more terrified. im sorry i wasnt here, im sorry i-"

"wonwoo, no! i understand. i cant believe you flew all the way to see me even if its just a few broken bones. im sorry i scared you."

his hand made its way to your cheek, caressing it gently as he smiled sweetly at you, "dont apologize. ill take a million scares if it means you're okay. i ... is it okay if i stay? i want to take care of you. actually, no, i dont care if its too much, i- i need to be by your side. can i?"

"yes. you dont have to ask, i always want you here."

"good. ill take you home with me as soon as you're discharged. never letting you out of my sight again."

"what about tour, you-"

"shh. ill take care of it. you're my priority. ill take care of you, okay? i love you."

"i love you more, nonu."

he let yet another sigh of relief at those five words, knowing that as soon as he heard those words, he'd be okay. you'd both be okay.

[kingkat12]

icarus burning (roman godfrey x reader)

WARNINGS: stalking, obsession, upir!roman, Roman is a bit of a creep, toxic but sweet relationship?, mentions of sex

summary: sometimes, the deer doesn't know it's being hunted

word count: 2,514

a/n: this was originally supposed to be a requested piece someone asked for, and it was supposed to be a sweet story... but Roman is Roman and I want to do the request PROPERLY, so that's coming up later hihi

It was hard to get a sweet moment out of a guy like Roman, but not impossible— I knew that long before we got involved. Long before that time I started running into him practically everywhere, before he paid for my lunch when I was holding up the queue in the cafeteria because my card didn't work, and before he suddenly started showing up everywhere I was at school. Coincidences. 

I first understood that he was into me the time we ran into each other on my Sunday stroll in the city and he offered to drive me home. It was during that drive that I was trapped with him, unable to run away from the notorious high school playboy my friends had warned me about numerous times. He had put his hand on my thigh, just for a few seconds, just to prove the point of some joke he was making— and I knew I was done for.

Roman eventually got a little weird when he realized his feelings were reciprocated, and it got even worse when he realized his infatuation was growing. He'd text me incessantly, as though he couldn't stay away from me for more than a few minutes at the time, and then proceeded to present as the human form of lukewarm tea whenever we met again in person. Maybe it was the fact that he was absolutely terrified of anything real, or maybe it was the fact that he had his playboy image to uphold— I have yet to ask him this, actually.

However, when I started giving him the cold shoulder, not answering his messages, not caring to put much work into our conversations in the hallway, Roman panicked. Completely. And it was during this time that I started to get a little suspicious about our run-ins— they got more frequent, his demeanour got more and more intense, and I could almost sense that he was spiralling. 

"Just... don't, like, ignore me," Roman mumbled as we strolled through the bread-section at the store, once again having met by coincidence— right? "I get that I've been a little weird recently, but I'm really trying here..."

"Trying what?" I turned to him, hoping for him to be clear about his thoughts for once. "What are you on about?"

Frustrated, lips pursed, Roman ran his fingers through his hair as his voice got lower. "I'm messing this up already, aren't I?"

There was something different about him today. He was fidgety, anxious—  what was happening? I wondered if he felt rejected by my rebellion against his weird habit of going hot and cold. "Messing what up, Roman?" If only he could just say that he liked me out loud. That would make me feel more at ease about liking him back despite everyone around me telling me not to.

Roman clicked his tongue against the roof of his mouth, nodding to himself, mind clearly racing. "Nothing. Forget it," Without even saying bye, he turned the other way and disappeared into the next aisle, leaving me even more confused than before. 

After having thought about our interaction at the store thoroughly, it dawned on me that I hadn't actually seen Roman with an actual girlfriend on his arm. Ever. He was either with a cheerleader he'd change out every few weeks, racing through the cheer-team as though it was a revolving door, or with some random freshman girl who had no idea what she was getting herself into. Now that I really thought about it, I hadn't seen him with either category during the past few weeks we had been talking. I had a feeling that Roman wasn't faking his cluelessness, and that he was genuinely walking around in the dark concerning how to address his feelings and act on them. 

Something told me I had to give him a nudge in the right direction.

The next day at school, I found him rummaging through his locker, possibly looking for a pack of cigarettes he had buried beneath all the books he never used. I leaned my back against the locker next to his, waiting for him to notice me. And when he did, I watched his usual serious face melt away and morph into a look of cocky surprise; "Oh my, look who it is," 

"Yours truly," I said, raising my hands in defeat as I suppressed a laugh. 

Roman shut his locker, his pupils dilating at a rather obnoxious rate. Was he relieved to see me after our conversation yesterday? "What's up?" he eventually said, his green eyes scanning me without even trying to hide it.

"Just wanted to say something," I had to steady my breathing— was I seriously about to do this? I could crash and burn, an event more damning than when Icarus flew too close to the sun. However, I knew I had to pull myself together, not wanting him to know how nervous this was making me; I wasn't exactly here to stroke his ego any further. 

Roman's eyes practically sparkled; "Yes?"

Fuck it. "Okay, so... I like you. And on top of that, I have a feeling you like me too. So I would like it if you stopped following me around and instead took some action," I held my breath, watching the horror wash over his face— did he really think that I'd believe our run-ins were coincidental at this rate? "There's a movie going at eight that I want to see, and it would be nice if you'd join... I'd like that very much."

Roman's lips parted in partial shock— this was definitely not what he had expected me to say. He cleared his throat, straightening up; "Pick you up at seven thirty?"

I had an inkling that I didn't need to give him my address. "Sure," I said, biting back a smirk. "Bring extra cash, by the way. Popcorn is on you."

Roman let out a laugh as he shook his head, clearly in denial. "As if I'd let you pay in the first place," He leaned against his locker, letting out a relieved sigh as he crossed his arms over his chest. "You look nice today."

I did my best to not blush. Later, I have learned from Roman that my attempt was unsuccessful. "I know," I said, trying to hide my growing grin as I kicked off the locker; "Well, I was waiting for you to say that... And now that you have, I'm off to class. See you later, Rome."

Unable to hold back, Roman chuckled as he watched me go, letting out the breath he had been holding. 

Surprisingly, my plan had worked. The cinema date was the first of several that ensued, and I rewarded his normal behaviour by texting him back a little more frequently. However, I wasn't completely sold on dating him further, because the weird situationship-phase was probably a little weirder than it would normally be. For instance, there were times where I wouldn't respond for a few hours because I was busy with friends or family, and feel... watched. 

There was also that one time where Roman just... didn't let me leave the car after a date. It was quite bad, actually, because it was right in that moment where I felt like I had gotten my period and needed to make a run for it to check. But the doors were locked and the windows shut; his voice dropped and his eyes were weirdly dark when he finally turned to me, suddenly not looking like his usual self. "Could you just stay here... a little longer?"

 I couldn't quite pinpoint what was happening, but I noted to myself that he probably hadn't blinked in about three minutes. "I sort of have a curfew," I tried, tapping my fingers against the door, hoping he'd get the point. "It was really nice today, Roman, I had a lot of fun—"

"A minute," he said, almost like a command, voice turning rather raspy. Roman closed his eyes, breathing heavily. 

I wasn't sure whether he thought this was romantic or if he had some weird plans for me. "... I think my parents are going to pissed if I don't go soon—"

And it was in this moment that he leaned over and kissed me, effectively stopping my trail of words. I froze, unsure what this whole ordeal had been about, but all my thoughts of reason and concern seeped out of my brain, melting into the kiss against his soft lips. Maybe he had just been nervous to kiss me, maybe that's what that was?

In retrospect, I try not to think about it too much.

And just like that, everything was suddenly sailing smoothly— I would sit with Roman and his friends in the cafeteria, his arm proudly draped around me. He had started to insist that he picked me up and drove me to school every day, which usually ended with us making out in the backseat of his car before class. And after class. And outside my house after the trip back, not letting me leave before he got a 'proper goodbye', as he called it.

However, at the end of the day, he was still Roman Godfrey. The same guy that had probably slept with the whole cheerleading team, along with half the school. That thought had me shuddering, and I did my best to shove it as far back into my mind as possible. Eventually, it started gnawing on me that he would probably be expecting something more of me soon, something more than just making out in the back of his car, and it made me go all Roman on him— also known as cold and distant. 

"What's wrong?" he said, staring at me from the driver's seat after he had parked at school. "You've been a little weird... Did I do something?"

The situation was starting to make me feel borderline bad. I didn't like having this conversation in his locked car. "No, Roman, it's nothing... I'm fine,"

This was seemingly not the right answer— later that day, I was cornered in an empty stairwell on my way to class. Roman's eyes were so incessant, so strikingly green, I couldn't help but feel nervous. "Stop saying everything's fine when I can feel that it isn't," he said, keeping his voice low in case anyone would hear. "It's driving me nuts, you know me."

I gulped, needing to look away to collect my thoughts. I hated that I had started to avoid being alone with him, just in case he'd ask or try to initiate anything. In reality, I simply wasn't ready, and the fear of him discarding me after we were done was enough for me to postpone it. I also had a weird feeling that if I gave myself to him in that way, that he'd just never... stop. Roman would never get enough— he had already claimed me in every other way possible. "I just... feel like you want more from me than I'm willing to give at the moment,"

"What?" Roman's brows drew together in confusion. "That's just downright cryptic. Care to explain like a normal person? Are you breaking up with me or something?"

"No, no!" I definitely didn't want that. Feeling the tension grow, I ground my teeth together. "It's just... Have you noticed that you try to take off my shirt every time we make out?"

It was clear that Roman disappeared deep into his mind for a moment, scouring his memories. "I'm... sorry? I'll stop, I guess,"

I let out a rather big sigh, feeling my anxiety rise. "I know you might be used to a certain linearity and timeline with a lot of things when you were with other girls, but that's... not how I work," Finally looking up to meet his gaze, I chewed on my lip, awaiting an answer.

However, Roman looked like a big question-mark. "I suppose?" It was clear that he was lost.

I wanted to shrink into a tiny bug and get stomped. That would probably feel better than whatever this feeling was. "I need us to wait with... that,"

"... What, sex?" The way he followed up his words with a laugh made me even more anxious.

"Yeah," I mumbled. "And if that's a deal-breaker for you, then you have to tell me right now. Because I'm honestly not too keen on getting my heart crushed—"

My nervous ramble was cut off when Roman leaned down, capturing my lips in a rather passionate kiss which probably shouldn't have taken place in a school. "It's fine," he whispered against my lips, running his cold, slender fingers through my hair. "I don't care. I just care that we're okay. Because... we're okay, right?"

Smiling, I snaked my arms around his neck, my nose nudging his. "Of course we are,"

"Good," Roman beamed, letting out a sigh of relief. However, his smile wasn't there for long— his eyes rounded out, getting serious, as though he was about to deliver some very, very bad news.  "But... just so you know, when a guy doesn't have sex for a very long time, his dick turns purple and falls off. So when you're ready for it, the chance might not be there... Just be aware of that."

I watched him crack up, giving in to a rather loud laugh which resulted in me giving his arm a playful smack— this guy, honestly. 

And we continued to be okay for a very, very long time. More than okay, actually; it was a continuous walk on cloud nine, and I was officially convinced that he was the man for me. Hence why I decided to put him through the most nerve-wracking situation a teenage boy could be thrown into— meeting the parents.

I was currently fluffing his hair on my front porch, watching his knuckles turn white around the flowers he had brought for my mother. My sweet, sweet boy. "Don't be nervous," I cooed, getting up on my toes to kiss his cheek. "It's just dinner."

"Sure," Roman breathed, clearly spooked. "Dinner. Just dinner. Food."

I couldn't help but chuckle— he was so damn cute sometimes, and he had no idea. "After this is over, we can go up to my room and cool off, okay?"

Immediately, Roman's pale face turned a little rosy. "That's a consolation,"

"Sure is," Before I turned to knock on my door, I pulled him in for a kiss, stroking through his hair. "You'll be fine, Rome, I promise. I adore you, and they will too."

Roman let out a shaky breath, smiling back at me. His eyes had rounded out at the words of affirmation; it was clear to me that he was absolutely smitten, and he didn't have to speak for me to know what he was thinking— you're everything.

I tried not to think about the fact that it was sort of concerning how much he was into me. That I was his actual everything. How he'd sometimes tighten his grip in my hair to the point where it sort of hurt, burying his nose against the top of my head as he held me closely... and how it only happened when I was on my period.

I didn't care. 

... For now.

[emithecharmer]

Sleepovers

Friends to lovers, mentions of reader being followed by a random dude, uhh fluff. Sorry for any mistakes <3

"Hey, I didn't think you were coming over tod-" Chan was cut off as you dove right into him, hugging his torso tightly.

"Did something happen?" He felt you start to shake and he immediately went into protective mode.

"What happened? Did someone hurt you?" You shook your head.

"Some dude was following me." He grit his teeth and closed his eyes, trying to focus on you, and trying not to think about what he would do if he ever saw that man.

"Did he get close? Did he touch you?" He asked calmly, rubbing your back and spinning around in his studio chair, with you in his lap.

"No," You shook your head, "just scared me, so I came in here. The lady at the front desk recognized me." Of course she did, Chan had showed the front desk ladies your picture, and said if you ever walked in, no matter what they were doing, to let you through.

"Well, just stay here for a while, and I'll finish up as soon as I can, then we can go to the dorms, you can sleep over." You nodded.

"I'll give you a shirt to sleep in." He said, maneuvering you slightly so he could work with you still sitting on him.

.

"Y/n!" Jisung cheered as he saw you walk in, running over to give you a hug.

"Channie-hyung didn't say you were coming over today." He said, breaking the hug and walking away slowly, listening for your response.

"It was a spur-of-the-moment decision." You giggled, looking back at Chan and walking with Jisung to the kitchen.

"Awe, did he finally confess." Jisung asked, making you stumble.

"What?" Jisung could have passed it off if he tried, but instead he froze like a deer caught in headlights. Chan was out of range, so he couldn't hear, but Jisung was freaking out.

"Jisung, what?" Your voice was more firm.

"I need to learn to keep my mouth shut." Jisung told himself, straightening his back when Chan walked in. He immediately noticed something was wrong and chuckled nervously.

"What's wrong? You both look like you've seen a ghost."

"I haven't seen a ghost? Have you seen a ghost? You know who else hasn't seen a ghost? Hyunjin, Hyunjin hasn't, so I'm going to go see Hyunjin." Chan blinked as Jisung ran into Hyunjin's room before turning to you.

"What's his deal?" You shrugged silently, opting to open the fridge and start cooking a dinner for the boys.

"Huh."

.

Dinner was awkward, Changbin tried to lighten the mood, but it was hard when Chan was the only one who would reply. You guessed Jisung had told Hyunjin what he did, because every few seconds you would see his eyes go from you to Chan and back again.

.

"What's going on?" Chan asked as you both got into the bed. He watched as you hesitated, something you hadn't done since the very first time you'd slept in the same bed.

"Nothing, everything's good, bro." Chan snorted.

"Bro? Who are you?" He asked, but going quiet when you didn't reply.

"What's wrong, did Jisung say anything weird? Sometimes he does that-"

"Do you like me?"

"What do you mean? I adore you, you're one of my best friends?" He answered, but you could hear the waver in his voice.

"Right." You replied, your voice a higher pitch than normal.

You two laid in silence until Chan sighed.

"He told you didn't he."

"You do?" You asked, sitting up on your side, facing him.

"Yeah, I'm sorry. You can leave if you want, but let someone drive you home-"

He couldn't even finish his sentence before you were kissing him softly. He smiled into the kiss and when he pulled away he giggled a bit.

"So I'm guessing you like me too?" He asked.

"You guessed right." You smiled, kissing his cheek and the his lips once more.

[greenwitchfromthewoods]

broken trust. [part 4] l Joel Miller

Summary:  you used to be very close, but he broke your heart, now your paths have crossed again

Warnings:  angst, swearing, mentioning about death, a few infected, violence (only a little anger poured out on him), crying, guns

A/N: I have a few words for you. First, I wanted to thank you very much, because every feedback is very important and constructive to me. Second, this part caused me some problems, I hope you will be gentle with me. I read so many fantastic stories from such incredibly talented people at that time, that I couldn't look positive at what I was writing. So my uncertainty is understandable. Third, I would like to write another part and I hope I will succeed, because I would like to end this story in a nice way. I will see what will come of it... Now, I hope you will spend a few nice minutes reading my scribbles. a few people mentioned tagging - @vickie5446 @dreamtofus @missladym1981 🖤 

[PART 3]

Why was it so hard? 

You felt guilty that you couldn't get back on track. You saw that Joel was trying to get closer to you, trying to fix that broken bridge between the two of you, but you knew that you were constantly tiptoeing around the biggest problem.

You felt betrayed.

When Joel Miller disappeared from your life, or rather you wrote yourself out of it, you didn't bother with him. You had to focus on yourself, on finding your place and the role you wanted to play in this world, without him. You pushed him to the back of your mind and moved on.

And now you saw him almost every day. Your heart ached every time you looked at him, when you heard that voice you knew so well. And you hated yourself even more when he made those little gestures that should have moved you. Because he cared about you, right?

For a few days, you had been pretending that things were good between you two, or maybe moderately good. After having a drink at the bar, you talked a few more times. Once Joel even visited you at the clinic and brought you:

"I thought of you." he said uncertainly, handing you a small, fresh loaf of bread wrapped in a cotton towel.

You both kept circling each other, keeping up all the appearances and pretending that everything was fine. And you felt everything inside you boiling.

And what should you have said? 

When Tommy asked who was going on the next patrol and you volunteered, Joel was right behind you. You were hoping that getting out of Jackson would give you a little time to clear your head, you didn't need that kind of company. But you didn't say a word, because what were you supposed to say... 

"You okay?" You nodded, packing your bag with water and something to eat.

“It's just a headache.”

You wanted to avoid looking directly at Joel, even though you knew he was watching you. In a strange way, his presence was making you more and more nervous.

You felt that all it would take was a spark to explode everything inside you. But you wanted to avoid it. There was nothing good about it.

The day was cold, although the weak sun was trying to break through the thick clouds. You took careful steps on the forest floor, trying to let your thoughts wander lazily. Joel was walking a dozen or so steps away from you. Sometimes you looked at him.

It was a strange feeling. You knew him. You knew every inch of his body. No one was as close to you as he was, no one knew what he knew about you. You trusted him then and in some way, you trusted him now. But everything between you was torn and you didn't know if there was any point in fixing it.

Joel raised his hand and you stopped, looking around carefully. He pointed out something in front of you, some movement, and after a moment you smiled at the sight of a deer with cubs. They moved uncertainly through the forest, but although neither of you moved, they must have sensed your presence, because after a moment, they ran away, startled. 

You didn't notice Joel approaching you, your gaze still wandering between the trees.

"You seem so absent." he said. "Because of me?"

"Sometimes." you replied, adjusting your bag a bit so as not to look at him again. "Or maybe I've just always been like this."

"You weren't like that. You know… I don't expect things to be like they used to be between us."

"Good. Because it never will be." you interrupted him. "Can we go now?"

"This is Y/N. She will lead you to this area." The old man pointed at you.

"Have you ever been there?"

You looked at the man who asked this question. He didn't say much from the beginning, but he justified everyone with his gaze. He gave the impression that he thought he was much better than you and it was no wonder that you didn't like him from the first moment.

"More times than you, for sure." You replied and pulled a map of the building out of your pocket.

"Is this the evacuation plan for the building?" he asked with interest and leaned over the table.

"Smartass." You mumbled and pointed to the locations you were interested in. "A few walls in this building have collapsed, but we can get through, although it's quite tight."

"And you can handle this?"

This man was getting annoying.

"You definitely won't get through." You replied. "That's why you need me."

"How many infected?"

"Less than in other places. If we do it quickly and quietly, they won't even notice us."

He folded his arms across his chest and looked at the map spread out on the table. The old man looked at you uncertainly, and you sighed.

"You don't have to marry me, just decide if you want me to take you there."

"You wanted someone to take you there, and I say - she will."the old man added, "I wouldn't risk it with anyone else if I were you."

The man finally nodded and extended his hand to you.

"Joel."

You shook his hand.

The room was dimly lit, and rubble was strewn across the floor. Joel held his gun at the ready, listening for any noise, but the building was quiet. A few minutes ago, you had slipped into the space between the collapsed wall and what used to be the door to the medicine warehouse.

No noises came from there either.

"Y/N?" he muttered quietly towards the crack where you had disappeared, "Y/N?"

Nothing, not a sound.

Shit!

"I wouldn't risk it with anyone else." he sneered at the old man's words, "Fuck! Y/N? Is everything okay?"

Suddenly, a bag fell out from between the collapsed walls and landed right at Joel's feet. Then he noticed your hand and the rest of you as you squeezed back in.

"I had to rummage through the shelves a bit." you said, picking up the bag and showing him its contents. "But I think I have everything. It's a real mess there."

"Have you started cleaning up?"

"A simple 'Thank you' would have sounded better." you snapped. "I got you some Viagra. Maybe it'll cheer you up."

You could see he wanted to say something, he even opened his mouth, but he just shook his head in disbelief and headed for the door.

You got to the ground floor and from there to the back exit. Everything was going perfectly. You could already see the door when suddenly an unexpected sound broke the silence. You looked at Joel, he must have kicked something metal.

"Fuck." you hissed when an unnatural noise echoed in the room next door.

Joel aimed his rifle at the door, and you quickly reached for your weapon. You started to head faster towards the door, but at that moment many things happened at once. The door on the other side opened and two clickers fell out.

You stopped, remembering that the noise could have directed them to you. You felt Joel's hand tighten on your wrist, he slowly headed for the exit. However, you didn't notice the glass on the floor and with the next step, the clickers rushed at you.

Joel aimed, but his rifle didn't fire.

"Fuck!"

The second monster rushed at you with a scream, but you didn't hesitate. You aimed and fired a few times. The noise echoed through the hall.

Joel kept trying to cock the rifle, cursing under his breath. You knew you couldn't leave him like that.

"That was stupid." he hissed again as you walked towards QZ.

You didn't answer. He repeated it every now and then like a kind of mantra. You managed to get out of the building, that was the most important thing, and you didn't see the point in going back to it.

"You said there were no infected there." he muttered, catching up to you.

"I said there were fewer of them than elsewhere. They must have come recently." you replied calmly.

"How many times have you been there before?"

"I don't know." you shrugged, "A few."

"Do you go there alone?"

You looked at him, surprised.

"What? Do you think I take guys there on dates? Don't be ridiculous." you snorted, "It's business."

"What you did was stupid." Joel growled again.

"If you think saving your life is stupid then do me a favor, go and get bit by one of them and I'll gladly shoot you in that pompous head!"

Joel didn't say anything, but he followed you. You impressed him, and that rarely happened.

"Would you like to have a drink with me?" he asked some time later as you sat down to look through what you had brought.

"Are you still going to be so grumpy?" you smiled.

Joel felt like an uninvited guest in your life, at least in the life you created for yourself after you left QZ. And although at first it seemed to him that you took your reunion really well, now he felt like you were thousands of miles away from him, even if it was just a few steps.

He could see your back, but it felt like your thoughts were echoing through the forest and hitting him straight. Your silence told him more than a thousand words that could have been said.

You were so lost in your head that even when Joel stopped for a while you didn't stop walking.

Did that mean he had lost you completely? Did he lose you when everything he had done came to light? Did he lose you because he only wanted you to be safe, because he didn't want to lose you? Did he ever really have you for himself?

You finally stopped and looked over your shoulder, searching for him with your eyes. God! Joel thought you looked like a wounded animal. And was he the predator?

He found you lying in bed, you smelled of cheap soap and were only wrapped in a towel. He immediately sensed that something was wrong. He knelt down by the bed and in the dim light he saw your reddened eyes.

"Baby, what's wrong?" he asked, pushing back the hair that stuck to your wet cheeks, "What happened?"

He stroked your arm and felt how cold you were.

"How long have you been lying there? You should get dressed, honey." he murmured with concern.

"I can't live like this anymore, Joel..." you whispered.

He looked at you, frowning, but didn't say anything, he didn't want to interrupt you. The words started pouring out of you along with a new flood of tears.

A few days ago you were at work, busy with your own things, but you noticed the new people who appeared in QZ. The guards were leading them to the quarantine area. These were normal procedures for every newcomer. You saw a family there, and a woman in advanced pregnancy.

You didn't care too much about it though. "Normal procedures" you repeated in your mind. But today everything was different. When you had your break you noticed a car carrying bodies. Normal procedures. But nothing about it was normal.

"I saw that woman, Joel..." you sobbed. "It was her. I'm sure of it."

You sat up in bed, completely devastated. Joel held his hands on your neck, he felt your heart rate increase, how you were gasping for breath.

"Maybe it wasn't her." he said uncertainly.

"I know what the fuck I saw!" you groaned "Her belly… the children that were with her... I thought it didn't affect me anymore, that I had seen enough..."

"Baby..."

"I can't forget about her. I came back home. I tore my skin in the shower for so long to wash it all off, but I can't."

Only then did he notice your reddened arms and hands. Joe felt something heavy sink into his stomach at the sight. He had never seen you like this before, so broken, so defenseless.

"You can't think about it." he began calmly. "You're safe here. With me. You know I won't let anything happen to you."

"Her husband must have promised her that too..."

These words hung between you. You were right, you knew it perfectly well. You had risked your lives so many times, but you were still here. Joel thought it was a perfect joke of fate. He didn't question it, though, because the most important thing now was you. He had someone to do all this for.

"I'll get you out of here, I promise." his voice was calm and soothing. "We'll find a way. We'll get out and I'll take you somewhere where you'll be happy."

"I'm happy with you, Joel..." you whispered, staring at him expectantly.

You were ready to accept any of his promises. You would take anything he gave you to feel better, a little more alive. And he gave it to you. Joel gave you the promise of freedom. It might not have been perfect, but it was yours. Just yours and his. The promise that one day you would get out and see more, live more. And be together, because you couldn't imagine any other life than with him.

"Fuck!"

You fell down feeling the small stones cut your hands. For a moment you wondered if you should just stay like that. You probably preferred lying in the middle of the forest with your knees bruised than having to stay stuck in all this.

But this pain was good, somehow. It took you away from all the dark thoughts circulating in your head and from the emotions swirling in your chest. For that one moment, when you were lying on the ground and smelled the forest, all you could hear was your heart beating, you forgot about everything.

And then it all came back with double the force.

"You okay? Here, let me help you." You looked at Joel's hand stretched out towards you. "You have to be more careful. There are a lot of roots here."

"I can handle it." You replied, supporting yourself with your hands and getting up yourself, but then you hissed in pain.

The stones dug deeper into your skin, cutting you even more. Despite everything, Joel grabbed your arm and helped you up, although you immediately moved away from him.

"Did you hurt yourself?" his voice was calm, as if he hadn't noticed your behavior. Or maybe he had and was trying to be gentle with you?

"It's fine." you mumbled, wiping your hands on your jacket. "It's nothing."

"Show me."

"No."

"Why do you have to be so fucking stubborn, Y/N?"

"And why do you have to be so fucking caring?" you blurted out.

Joel watched you carefully as if he was digesting your words, until he finally shrugged.

"I think you know why." he mumbled. "I care about you."

"Oh, really?" you scoffed.

You pulled a bottle of water out of your bag and tried to wash your hands. It wasn't easy, but when he tried to help you again, everything happened in a flash.

"Don't touch me." you snapped, stepping back. "I don't want you to touch me."

"I just want to help you." Joel raised his hands to show that he meant no harm. "You cut yourself, I can bandage it."

"I don't need your help, Joel! I was doing great before you showed up."

"Really? That's where you got that fresh scar on your side? After you were doing great?"

You were furious. You felt your entire skin burning, and Joel's presence only made it worse. You were standing in front of each other again, like when everything he did turned out to be true. You had kept it to yourself for so long that it had to explode.

"I can't look at you." Your voice was clear, though Joel heard you tremble with emotion. "I can't look at you when you try to pretend that nothing happened between us. That now everything will be like it used to be. You betrayed me, Joel. You told me to trust you, and you..."

"I'm sorry." he took a step towards you "You don't even know how much I regretted what I did. Every day, baby..."

"Don't call me that!" you interrupted him quickly.

He sighed and looked down.

"Ever since you left... I didn't think I'd see you again." he continued with a pained voice "Howard said you left town that same night. I didn't know where to look for you."

"Bullshit!" you snapped "Am I supposed to believe that you filled my head with this crap that we'd get out of QZ together, then you took it all away from me and suddenly you wanted to look for me?! Why?! Who was I to you, Joel?! I was just a stupid cunt who crawled to you every night hoping that she meant something to you..."

You couldn't know how much those words hurt him. You could call him anything, curse him, get mad and pull away from his touch, but when you degraded yourself to the role of an object. No, Joel couldn't stand that.

"You were everything, Y/N!" he roared angrily "Are you happy with this?! You were everything to me, and I didn't have the fucking courage to tell you! I was afraid I wouldn't survive if something happened to you. You hated QZ, but you were safe there! And could I provide that to you outside the walls? No!"

"I don't need your protection! I didn't need it before you showed up and I didn't need it after!" you walked up, pointing a finger at him "You were my partner! My lover! My fucking everything! I would have let myself be torn to pieces for you! And you stabbed me in the back! For what reason? Because of concern? Thank you very much!"

"I made a mistake, okay?! I understood it then, but I can't turn back time! What else do I have to do? How much do I have to apologize to you? Hit me if it helps you, I don't fucking care!"

You hit him in the chest with your clenched hand. You were probably surprised yourself, because you immediately withdrew your hand. Joel raised his eyebrows.

"Is that all you can do, babe? I know damn well that you can do it harder."

So you did it again, and again. And Joel didn't even flinch. He knew you had to get all your anger out at him. He saw your tearful eyes and how with each punch you lost your strength, until finally your knees buckled and you sat on the ground, crying loudly.

You reached your limits. You no longer had anything inside you but tears.

And then you felt him next to you again. He sat down. His strong arms wrapped around you, he let you snuggle up to him and just held you as you burst into tears.

[PART 5]

☆☆☆

Thank you for your time.

[worldofkuro]

Painted Smile

Painted Smile IV

<- Previous Chapter | Next Chapter ->

Pairing: Alastor x Female! Reader

Summary: You couldn't wait to meet new friends. What you didn't expect was this smiling little boy, only one year older than you, that would take such a big place in your life.

Notes: Some angst with a little but of fluff. There is the mention of death but nothing really bad yet. I hope you'll enjoy this chapter, it might be the last where the reader and Alastor are children. Next chapter, they might be around 16 or 17. Maybe I'll just drop some bonus scenarios when they are kids but we will see. Enjoy my deers!

You woke up with a tired yawn. You sat up, looking around. It wasn’t your bedroom… oh yes! You had a sleepover and it seemed like you fell asleep in Alastor’s bed. You hoped Marie wouldn’t be too angry, you did say you would go to her bed once you finished playing with her son. You looked next to you but Alastor’s spot was empty, there was only your plushie. You took him in your arms and smiled.

“ Did you sleep well ?” you stroke its fur before kissing the top of its head. You looked around and your eyes fell on Alastor’s microphone… You looked toward the closed door and then jumped off the bed, grabbing the microphone and holding it to your plushie’s mouth. You changed your voice a bit and spoke.

“ I have never slept better !” you nodded before giggling. You squeaked as you heard the door open to reveal Alastor who was staring at you with a teasing smile. You blushed and hid the microphone behind your back. He shook his head, still smiling and walked toward you before taking the microphone from your hand, his face close to yours.

“ I knew you would play with it.” you blinked at him, looking at his bed hair and couldn’t help but smile. He looked cute like this ! “ Eamon told me you were using the microphone.” You tilted your head.

“ Who ?”

“ Our deer. He needs a name, don’t you think?” he stroked your plushie’s head while mumbling “ even if he looks more like a fawn than a deer…” 

“ He is a deer ! I’m sure you never saw one !” you huffed as you squeezed Eamon against your chest. You quite liked the name, you were wondering if it had a meaning whatsoever… 

“ Actually, I did when Father took me hunting.” he tilted his head as he saw your horrified face. He looked perplexed as you took a step back.

“ You killed a deer ?”

“ No, I saw one. And most of them have brown fur, not like ours who have a white one.” 

“ But…  Why is your father taking you with him.. to hunt..?” you asked, confused. Your father also liked to hunt with other adults but he always said that it was a man’s pleasure! Why would Alastor’s father take him with him? Wasn’t Alastor a little too young ? You watched as Alastor smiled at you, teasingly.

“ It’s not for little girls, that’s for sure. You wouldn’t bear it.” He teased you.

“ Hey! I saw things too, I’m not a little girl!”

“ Like what? What did you see?” he asked you with an intense glint in his eyes. You huffed and lifted your face to his, staring him in the eyes. You looked around, as if someone could hear you then you went whispering in his ears, and you were kind of happy to see him eagerly tilting his head toward you.

“ My father tried to eat my mother one day.”

…

…

“ What ?!” he shouted as he stared at you with a big confused smile. You grinned as you nodded, proud of yourself to have made Alastor react so strongly. “ Why ? How ? What?” you laughed as he seemed so lost.

“ We will talk about it… In our next broadcast ! Stay tuned Alastor~ ” you kissed both his cheeks, more of habitude than anything, it was your way of saying hello now. You took as step back as he tried to grab your arm, it seemed like he didn’t want to wait. You laughed as you ran and jumped on his bed, as he tried to catch you. Unfortunately for him, you were faster and you managed to ran out of his bedroom, running into the kitchen where Marie was waiting for you with breakfast.

“ Good Morning mes chéries, I hope Alastor’s bed was comfortable?” she kissed you on both cheeks with a big grin before laying a plate of pancake in front of you. You nodded as you held your plushie on your knees. “ I guess, this is Eamon, right?” she asked.

“ Yes, Alastor named him.”

“ Did he now? This name means, if I remember correctly, “ Wealthy protector.” “ she smiled genuinely at you. Your eyes widened as you stared at Eamon with a big smile. Did it mean that Alastor saw your plushie as a real protector now? You giggled as you began to eat what Marie prepared for you. Alastor came down five minutes after, washed up. He sat next to you and you put Eamon on his knees, you will not tell him that you now knew the meaning of the name, maybe another time. 

“ Next time, we should have a sleepover at my house ! I could show you my room !” you smiled excitedly. Never once did Marie or Alastor come to your parent’s house. Strangely, Alastor furrowed his eyebrows as he smiled who seemed torn. 

“ I… I don’t like leaving my mother alone at home.”

“ But we will choose a day where your father is home!” you nudged him, trying to coat him to come with you at your house. “ Please Alastor… I really want you to come.” you pleaded as you held his forearms with your small hands. “ You don’t want to..?”

He jerked his head toward you with a twitching smile, staring at you. He seemed so torn at your idea. Did he really not want to come to your place? 

“ Don’t look so down dear, we will find a date for you to have a sleepover with Alastor at your place” she held her finger in front of Alastor as he opened his mouth “ and you know what, I’ll do a sleepover with your mother too ! Isn’t it a great idea?” she said with glee. You nodded eagerly and looked at Alastor who seemed less tense, you could even say he looked relaxed. Maybe he was a mommy boy and couldn’t leave his mother for more than a day?

You finished eating and went to the bathroom to wash yourself up. Once you were dressed up you went into Alastor’s bedroom who was already preparing your broadcast of the day. Your smile widens as you see Eamon sitting on a chair next to the microphone. You sat down and let Alastor begin the show.

“ Welcome New Orleans to a new broadcast! We have a new guest here, Eamon our fawn–”

“ Our deer!”

“--who will keep us company for today’s broadcast. Now, today our singer will tell us about how her father tried to eat her mother. What is this story about my dear?” he held the microphone to you and whispered into it.

“ It was during Christmas, I was getting ready to go to bed but I was really thirsty so I decided to go in the kitchen but I saw my daddy.. He had his head in my mother’s neck, her head was tilted back and… He bit her!” Alastor gasped as you continued your story “ I ran back in my bedroom and the next day, my mother had a scarf around her neck even though we were inside the house!”

“ Now that’s a story to tell ! What do you think of it,  Eamon?” he held the microphone to the plushie, both of you stayed silent for five seconds looking at the deer. “ Yes, me too, I have no words!” He said as you laughed at his jokes. You really loved hanging out with Alastor.

After hours of broadcasting, it was finally time to go home. You ran to your mother’s hug as she scrunched down to lift you up in the air. You laughed as you hugged her, you did miss her even if you did have a great time with Alastor.

“ Do you have everything sweetie? Where is Mister Deer?” she asked, looking around. Deep inside, you wished that you could take it back home, but Aalstor needed more than you. You were sure of it.

“ Mister Deer is now Eamon and he is staying with Alastor !” you claimed proudly. She tilted her head but didn’t ask any more questions. She kissed Marie goodbye as you hugged Alastor and you felt a pure sense of happiness as you felt him return your embrace. “ See you next weekend, Alastor! And Eamon, take care of him okay?” you whispered to Alastor’s ears “ and please… Take care of our Eamon, okay?” you waited for Alastor nod then smile��� I’ll see you both soon, bye bye !” you waved them goodbye before leaving the house, almost tripping on Husker’ which made Alastor laugh.

You couldn’t wait for next week.

~~~

You couldn't wait anymore !

It’s been three weeks since you last saw Alastor ! You were making a scene in front of your mother as she told you that this weekend once again, you couldn’t go to Alastor’s house. You were crying, you have been such a good girl, each refusal you just accepted that you couldn’t go there but each week it was getting harder and harder. You stomped your foot on the floor even harder, not even hearing your mother who was trying to calm you down.  Your father shouted your name, making you gasp as you lift your head toward him. You weren’t used to him raising his voice to you like this. He kneeled down in front of you, wiping your tears, sighing.

“ Sweetheart, I know you are sad because you haven’t seen Alastor for almost a month. But… I saw his father and he told me they had a bad hunting session and Alastor was injured. You understand that he needs to rest, right?”

Alastor…was hurt? You blinked the tears in your eyes, staring at your father. It couldn’t be. You look at the floor as you felt and anger you haven’t ever felt. It was Alastor’s father’s fault. Why did he bring Alastor hunting in the first place? And what if Alastor was dea–

You fell on the floor, your mother hugging you against her chest. You couldn’t think, there was a big buzzing in your head, just like a radio static sound. Was Alastor really so badly hurt that he needed a whole month to recover ? You lifted your head toward your mother, pleading with your eyes. You needed to see him. You would make him smile, laugh, you would do anything for him to forget his pain. Your mother stared at you for a moment then sighed.

“ I’ll take you to him, I’m worried too. But hush, not a word to your father alright? We’ll go tomorrow.”

That night, when you went to bed, you prayed that Eamon would keep Alastor safe in his room.

~~~

You gripped the plate in your hands. You tried to make Jambalaya with your mother, it was Alastor’s favorite dish so maybe it would make him happy. You watched as your mother knocked on the door. Long seconds after, the door opened to reveal a tired Marie. She kissed you as usual with a, what seemed, a sad smile.  You didn’t even wait as your mother hugged her precious friend, you ran up the stairs, holding the plate against you.

You were going to see him, he was going to be okay, he was going to be alive, he was going to be in his room, you’ll play as usual, you’ll do your broadcast , he was going to make fun of you for being worried, he’ll tease you for crying, he’ll–

You opened the door which slammed against the wall. You were breathing hard as you looked inside the room. Where was he–

“ So unladylike. I could recognize your footsteps anywhere.”

You turned your head toward his bed, the voice coming from under the cover. You walked toward him, your frame trembling. 

“ I.. I made your favorite dish..” you whispered, your voice trembling with each word as you tried to speak out loud. His voice sounded weaker than usual. “ Can… Can I see you?”

“ No.”

“ Please…” you begged as tears began to form in your eyes. Why was he hiding from you? “ I was so worried… My father told me what happened–” You saw the cover flinched.

“ What did he tell you?”

“ That… That you went hunting with your dad and–” you approached the bed and flinched when you felt his hand covering your eyes. You stood still, his hand was warm. He was here.. You felt tears streamed down your face. “ Because of your father you- you have been hurt.” you cried, holding his wrist with one of your hands, the other still holding his plate. “ Alastor, I was so scared..!”

“ Keep your eyes closed.”

You heard the cover falling on the floor as you felt him hugging you against his body. You kept your eyes closed as you finally relaxed. He was okay. He was alive. You furrowed your eyebrows as your felt something soft between you both–

“ It’s Eamon. He stayed with me.” he said as he hugged you tighter. “ I… I wanted to see you, you know. It’s not something I’m used to but… Yes, I wanted to see you.”

“ Are you hurting?”

“ No. Remember rules number two: I’m the strongest here.”

 You laughed as you sniffed. You tilted your head down and opened your eyes. Alastor didn’t want you to look at him but you could look at your deer. You gasped as you saw it. Your white plushie looked reddish? Some parts of its fur were pinkish, reddish? You sniffed once more, it smells metallic? What happened to him? You opened your mouth to ask Alastor but he did ask you to keep your eyes closed…

“ I want to see your face.”

You felt his body tensed but he didn’t say no. He took a step back but you kept your head down, waiting for his answer.

“ Be my guest.”

You’ve never lifted your head so quickly, you might have heard a crack. You stare at Alastor’s face. He was.. He was…

Completely normal.

“ But… but..”

“ You said you wanted to see my face, not my injuries.” he smiled cunningly at you while holding Eamon against his chest. 

“ Why do our deer have pink…red spots on him?” you tilted your head, stroking its fur.

“ I’m sorry. I bled on him.”

You looked up at him, he looked ashamed of himself. You stared at him… Did he keep Eamon against him while he was injured? You sat on the bed, next to him and kissed his cheek with the most care you could conjure. You felt him flinching but he didn’t move away. You kept your lips on his cheeks, you hand against his. 

“ I missed you.” you both said at the same time.

You both stayed together on the bed as you told him what happened in your life, even how you cried because you couldn’t see him. He smiled at you and teased you a little but squeezed your hand tighter. You ate the jambalaya you made, of course it wasn’t as good as Marie’s but Alastor didn’t say anything bad.

Before you knew it, it was time to go. Your mother was calling you from downstairs. You squeezed Alastor’s hand, ready to let go but to your surprise he stood up and went downstairs with you. Your mother smiled at him, saying she was happy to see him well. He nodded with his usual smile and then looked at you as both your mothers kept talking with each other.

“ I promise, I’ll see you soon.”

“ You promise? How do I know if you are going to be sick, or injured once again?”

He stared at you before smiling sweetly. 

“ Let’s make a deal.”

He approached his face close to yours and kissed your forehead. You blushed as your mothers were hiding their smiles behind their hands.

“ You always kiss me good morning, so now, I’ll kiss you goodbye. Now, you owe me a good morning kiss.” he smiled at you teasingly as he took a step back. “ Do we have a deal?”

You blushed but your smile was ten times bigger than usual. You squeezed his hand, never letting it go since you went downstairs.

“ Deal.”

Tag List: @lukneetoonz @martinys-world @littlepoetnova @sirens-and-moonflowers @eris-norwega

[1800-page-not-found]

Hi! Glad to see an ORV writer. They seem to be a very rare breed. Like trying to find a needle in a haystack. Anyhow, as you might have guessed. I have an ORV request for you. I got sort of inspired by that vampire. How about having our reader being a phoenix? Ya know the mythical immortal firebird? With the related powers? Like how would KDJ and YHJ react to their “s/o” being one? Like say they seemingly ‘died’ but then ina red flash of flames they are instantly revived, completely healed.

School is starting soon which means my updates are gonna be even scarcer lol

Kim Dokja, Yoo Joonghyuk (seperate) x reader

Summary: You sacrificed yourself for them, but just before they can grieve, you come back to life?

Using the Disaster of Floods chapters when Shin Yoosung obliterated KDJ in the novel.

also, Yoo joonghyuk never dated Lee seolhwa bc plot

Kim Dokja knew you were a phoenix, as it said from the story and your character profile said so. What he didn't realize was the fact that you also shared the same abilities as one (your character was mentioned only a few times in TWSA). So when you died, Kim Dokja was terrified.

Kim Dokja's eyes widened at your body standing in front of him. Nononono! He-He was supposed to take the shot! Why did you do that?! You knew he could revive again!-why?

He dashed to catch your fallen body. "No, no, no! [name]! Y-you can't die! Shit! Why did you do that!?" But your body had already fell limp. Kim Dokja cried for his favorite side character, his lover, his idol.

He held you close, yet tears were unable to fall due to the fourth wall. "I can't even cry or mourn you...What kind of lover am I?" He could only close his eyes and curse fate for doing this to him.

-

You opened your eyes to darkness, until a screen popped up.

[You have died.]

[Revitalization count down has finished.]

[The skill, Phoenix:Revive, is taking effect.]

-

Kim Dokja's eyes opened, then widening as your body started to burn. He could only step back, and watch as your body lit on fire. Your clothes started to burn, besides the ones which were fire resistant. 'I couldn't even give you a proper goodbye and their taking me away from you?...' Kim Dokja thought bitterly. He looked down at the ground, clenching his fists in anger.

-

You opened your eyes, your body feeling warm as a flame engulfed you. 'Ah...how nice it is to be a phoenix...' You sighed in relief.

-

The sound of your sigh snapped Kim Dokja's head up to you. "[N-name]? H-how?" Oh, how he wanted to cry so much right then and there. Too bad for the fourth wall.

You stood up as the flames lessoned and cooled down, dusting off some ash. "Huh?...But I thought you knew? I'm a phoenix remember?" You tilted your head in confusion. Wasn't he the one to realize you were a phoenix the moment you met? Surely it wasn't a bluff right?

"A-ah right...how could I be so foolish..." He mumbled, blushing a bit as his heart rate cooled down from the shock. He ran up to you, hugging you tightly and not letting go, ignoring the sweat and high temperature that surrounded you. "Y-you can't do that again!.."

You stood still, a menacing aura coming from you. "What the hell do you mean 'I can't do that again?' Once the cool down is finished, I won't let you die. Hypocrite. You were gonna take the shot for that wretched man, so why can't I?" You seethed in anger.

"Right right sorry..." Kim Dokja scratched his head bashfully. You were right... "I won't stop you okay? Don't be mad..." (He lied he was going to make sure you never had the chance to sacrifice yourself again no matter what).

---------

Just as Shin Yoosung fired the bright beam, your body instinctively moved. "Joonghyuk! Stop staring like a deer in headlights!-" You grabbed Yoo Joonghyuk by the collar, throwing him back behind you as you took the hit.

"Keugh!-" You fell on your knees, coughing up blood nonstop. "A-Ah..no...[name]?..." Yoo Joonghyuk took fast, trembling steps as he caught your falling body.

"Heuk...it hurts...Joonghyuk it hurt so much!..." You cried, your tears mixing with your blood as it dripped down to the side of your face. "P-please don't regress...These new companions, don't abandon them please. I'll be okay.." You begged, grasping onto Yoo Joonghyuk's clothes weakly, before dropping limp, dead.

"Haah, Haah..." Yoo Joonghyuk breathed deeply. Why did he have to see you die again? His only lover in each regression, who cherished him deeply and believed him when he told them he was a regressor, and stayed by his side no matter what. "Why?...Why did you die for me?" Tears dripped down onto your face. The single fear Yoo Joonghyuk had every regression...your death.

-

You opened your eyes to darkness. 'I wonder if he stayed?' You pondered. He, your lover, the man who saved you from your eternal cure of sleep as a phoenix.

[You have died.]

Ah right, you were a phoenix.

[Revitalization count down has finished.]

Thankfully, the countdown ended, so you could return to your lover.

[The skill, Phoenix:Revive, is taking effect.]

-

Yoo Joonghyuk felt a burning pain in his hands as you were set ablaze. "No!" Yoo Joonghyuk screamed, were the gods not even allowing him to bury you properly? Kim Dokja had to hold Yoo Joonghyuk back as he thrashed around, continuously hurting the man, trying to reach his lover.

"[NAME]!" He shouted, then eyes widening as he stepped back. "[name]?..." Your clothes were a bit burned besides the fire resistant ones.

"I wonder if he stayed?..." You mumbled, looking around. You really hoped he didn't regress.

"Y-you're alive...H-how?" Joonghyuk stood still.

"I'm a phoenix, remember? I can come back to life." You smiled, tears dripping down your face. "I'm so happy you didn't regress this time."

His eyes widened in horror and regret. Does that mean..Every time you died and he had regressed, you came back to life moments later? No...no...how-how much time had you spent alone? How could he leave you?

Guilt crept into him. He took a shaky step towards you. "E-every time...you came back?.." His eyes widened, hands shaking as he reached out to hug you.

You nodded solemnly. "I'm afraid so." A bitter chuckle came from you lips. He spoke, "I-I'm sorry. I didn't mean to leave you, I-" You cut him off and hugged him as he sobbed into your shoulder.

"Its alright, my dear. Just don't do it again alright? Wait for me. I don't want to be alone."

"Alright." He whispered.

[heathermason6060]

Daryl Dixon x f!Reader: Together Apart Ch.2

Warnings/Mentions: History of abuse, neglect, strong language, mentions of character death, alcohol and drug abuse, ptsd, shared trauma, reader is cold, angst, fluff, eventual smut

Summary: Reader gives friendships a try, and the first signs of Daryl changing start showing after unexpected tragedy.

Notes: I love writing Merle and early season Daryl, I hope they're in character!

"I'm ten seconds away from blowing his goddamn brains out."

"Not worth the wasted bullets." Daryl watched as Shane stalked back up towards the Greene house. You scoffed and rolled your eyes when you saw him stopping himself from slamming the door, at least needing to respect Hershel gave him some restraint from being a complete piece of shit. You weren't sure how long that would last though.

"Can't fucking stand these people Daryl. He looked like he wanted to kill me."

"Ya called 'em a homewrecker. The hell'd you expect?"

The days would go by without pause, no matter how you all screamed and cried for just one minute, one minute to get it together and breathe. Everything was constantly changing, and it ended up making you colder. 

The Greene farm was a nice place. You enjoyed the chores you took on there, you got to work with the horses, the cows, and the old barn cat. He'd end up passing away after a while, which would have really upset you if it hadn't been such a peaceful death, he just fell asleep with a stomach full of deer stew and never woke up. 

Andrea's strange half admiration and half disturbed likeness to you strengthened at the time on the farm, which you didn't know how to handle. You'd always wanted a girlfriend, ever since your first one in 6th grade ended your friendship. Your mother had shown up to pick you up from school, so high on Percocet she could barely keep her eyes open. She rear-ended the father of your friend, he got pissed, she spit in his face, and he called the police. ‘My daddy says I can't hang out with trailer trash like you anymore.’ She'd told you the next day. 

You secretly liked the way Andrea looked up to you. It was nice having a woman think highly of you, or any adult for that matter. She would often ask for shooting practice, and you even let her try out your bow a few times. 

She kind of fucked up your budding friendship when she shot Daryl. If you hadn't been so busy helping him get up into the house you would have shot her in her foot, and that's not an exaggeration. You wanted to stay up in that room with him until he fully healed, willing to sleep on the floor just so you'd be with him at all times, but the insecure fear of being seen as weak and clingy prevented you from doing so. You were out in the woods most of those days, hunting or killing any dead you ran across.

It was almost humiliating the way people would update you on Daryl’s condition. At first it was just Rick letting you know he’d be okay, but then it was Maggie and Hershel updating you on his eating habits, how much he ate, when he ate, he was only in bed for a couple of days, but it felt like weeks. Each time someone would tell you the miniscule details of his day you’d respond the same way, ‘Why’re you telling me? I’m not his mamma’. If you could look past the embarrassment of feeling like a worried child, you would be grateful. 

Andrea unknowingly made it up to you when you heard her bitching at Lori in the kitchen once, apparently having enough of her ‘a woman's place is in the kitchen making life worth living, leave the guns to the men' spiel. You complimented her afterwards. 

“Been real sick of that shit.” You had said as you loaded your Ruger pistol. “She's lucky it was you who said it, I think I would've punched that bitch in the face if she said that bullshit to me.”

Andrea was almost too stressed over the Beth situation to fully appreciate the gravity of your praise. She nodded as she looked over the field, eyes squinting against the bright afternoon sun, her arms crossed over her chest. “All my life I've heard that kind of thinking from men. It's different when it's a woman telling you that you're not worth the same as a man. Especially when said man lied about her husband being dead and got in her pants right after.” 

You smirked, stuffing your gun into the back of your jeans as you looked her over. “Wanna go kill some dead people?” 

“Oh, god.” She groaned dramatically. “That's the best idea I've heard all week.”

After you lost the farm, you wound up at an old prison. That was one of the rare times you had allowed yourself to try and be positive, and forced yourself to make friends, although it was obvious all your relationships were strained. Andrea was the only person who had ever made an effort to get to know you, and she was gone. 

Shane’s death didn’t affect you much, truthfully you were glad Rick killed him. The constant tension and heated arguments drained you just as much as Dale’s annoying humanitarianism. You attempted being friends with Lori, Hershel, Carol and Beth, despite the young girl being your polar opposite. She was soft, pretty, sweet and bubbly, you were hard, mean, vulgar and distant. 

Which might be one of the reasons your relationship with her had started to work. Beth saw you as a challenge, like a mean feral cat, and deep down you saw her as a possible redemption. If you could become friends with Beth, the sweetest girl with the kindest heart, you could do it with anyone. 

Lori never trusted you, so you never got far with her. She would look at you with this look on her face, like you were always seconds away from cutting her baby out of her stomach or some twisted shit. You had cursed her out once for said expressions, calling her a stuck-up bitch who thinks every woman that isn't her is beneath her. She died a couple days later, and a part of you that you couldn't push away felt like shit about it, for a very long time.

The whole Governor shit was a pain in your ass. But it was a blessing in disguise, because he was the reason you were reunited with Merle. 

“I want to come.” You stood your ground, grabbing your Ruger AR-15 from its spot on your cell wall. 

“I said no, we’ve got enough concerns, we don't need to be worrying about you.” Rick tried to speak in a hushed tone, his intentions good, not wanting you to feel embarrassed if the others heard you being denied. They knew you seethed at the prospect of being told what to do. You didn't work well with others, that was glaringly obvious.

“I don’t need you to worry about me.” You hissed, tugging the heavy gun over your back so the strap dug into your shoulder. 

Rick repeated your name, using his angry father tone, and that seemed to work. Your shoulders drooped and you growled out a few insults under your breath. You missed when the group members had more say in the way things were. Rick had become more authoritarian after Lori died, and it never affected you until that day. 

When they got back you were waiting at the door, pacing like a mother in those movies whose children had stayed out too late. Your eyes brightened as they filed into the prison, you saw Maggie and Glenn were back, and Michonne had returned as well. 

Your anxious smile slowly faded as the door closed behind them, counting two missing bodies. 

“Where…?” You breathed, looking between Rick and Maggie, your heart racing. 

Rick started having a goddamn mental breakdown after that, screaming at the walls and pointing his gun at things only visible to him. Tyrese, the newcomer, and his group fled, and a part of you considered it as well. If Daryl and Merle were dead, you had no reason to stay. Especially not with Rick behaving like a fucking maniac and no one speaking to you. 

True to your nature, you abandoned the prison in search of the Dixons. You knew they couldn’t have truly left, they would never do that, they'd never leave and forget you. Especially Daryl. He had promised to you one night after you fully secured the prison, that he was the one thing in your life that would never change. He’d never die, he’d never leave, he would always be there. Not in those exact words, of course, but in his own way.

He had stayed true to his promise. You found the two of them on their way to the prison, traveling through the same trails you’d originally used to find the place. 

“Thought I’d never see you two assholes again.” The apocalypse had made you more skilled at hiding your true emotions. You came off as playfully irritated, a contrast to the way you were barely keeping tears at bay. 

“Awww,” Merle teased in a condescending tone, faking a pout, “You miss us?”

“No. Rick’s group makes you seem like a peach though.” 

“Our group.” Daryl’s voice had taken on a strange edge as he walked ahead of you down the trail. “Those are our people now.”

You glanced at Merle to see he was outwardly displaying your same reaction, rolling his eyes and silently mimicking his brother's words. 

No matter how happy you were to see the two of them, Daryl’s reply echoed in your head for a long time. He meant what he said, you could tell by the way he spoke. He was changing, you hadn’t noticed it until that day, he wasn’t the same Daryl from Atlanta, the Daryl you knew. You swallowed your retort and followed him back to the prison. 

The Governor shit was really a pain in your ass after that day, making your earlier experiences a walk in the park. Through the tense days you found yourself around Merle more, the two of you discussing the prospect of just getting the fuck out of there in hushed voices, despite you both knowing Daryl would never abandon Ricks group. It was like he had some sort of unknown obligation to them, something you couldn't decode for the life of you, no matter how hard you tried.

“You're gettin’ real close to bein’ a bonafide pussy, boy.” Merle had said one day, shoving his finger in Daryl’s face. You stayed silent as they argued, biting at the soft skin inside your cheek. 

“Why? Cause I ain't jus’ lookin’ out for myself no more? Cause I actually give a shit about these people?” Daryl standing up to Merle wasn’t a familiar sight, and it made you feel emotions you really weren’t comfortable with. 

“It’s making you weak, brother.” Merle urged, nearly slicing his own scalp when he went to put his hands on his head, the heat of the moment causing him to forget his right hand was now a weapon. “Can't you see it? I ain’t gonna let you die for these sheep.”

Daryl would soon come to regret his last interaction with his brother. You, on the other hand, were lucky enough to have had some peaceful final moments with him before he vanished. 

“Dude, that's my fucking bed!” You shoved Merle away from your mattress, groaning when you saw it shredded and ruined. You’d have to go to the other cellblock and get another, if he hadn’t already paid those cells a visit. 

Merle sat on the floor breathing heavily through his mouth, resting an arm over his propped up knee.

“The hell you do that for?” You grumbled, kicking a chunk of bedding out of your cell and into the hallway. 

“Hopin’ to find some contraband.” 

“Dude, you could’ve just asked me. Holy shit.” You grabbed one of your bags from the corner of your room and began to dig through it, finally pulling out Merle’s old stash bag. HIs eyes lit up and he practically jumped for joy, snatching it out of your hands.

“You’re so fuckin’ beautiful, you know that?” He grabbed your face with his hand and noisily kissed your cheek, making you groan and shove him off. “Oh sweetheart. Whooo! Daryl know about this?”

“No, didn’t want him to know. I’m better at making shit last than him.” You replied. Daryl didn't like drugs the way Merle did, he had his run in with meth and its consequences and he was strong enough to quit and not touch it again. Other drugs were a different story though, you suspected the speed and painkillers would be gone by now if he had known you were the one who stole it.

He fished out the group of smaller baggies he was looking for, full of various shades of white in different textures. He groaned like he just creamed his pants and leaned over, planting another dramatic smooch to your forehead.

You stayed with him on the floor of your cell as he got high, and eventually he left to go ‘clear out the walkers in the tombs’, something you were happy to sit out on. He told you to stay back and you laughed, teasing with a ‘it's all yours, tweaker’. 

Even though your last moments with him were pleasant, you never forgave yourself for not accompanying him. 

@ophelialaufey @carlgrimesgfofficial @theskinniestjackson-denny @dilfish-daydreams @my1fx

[rebelshoard]

Drew my main 4 boys as Golden Shrike deer! Deertails (get it? its like 'details' but-) under the cut!

Go check out @goldenshrikecomic!

Larsky is a Stonekrovn/Fielder mix and his halv is a Horned Lark! First (and only) born son of the jaws of an uncommonly aggressive mouth. Always scrawny, Larsky was pushed hard and trained harder by his father. His mother, Lily, passed during his childhood. Larsky ran away shortly after reaching adulthood, wandering further north and straight into a herd of Northerners, Catali's herd...

Catali is a melanistic Northerner with a Snowy Owl halv! His life having been predominately uneventful so far, Catali leapt at the feeling of excitement that came from the warning of a "dangerous stranger" wandering their territory. Young and bold, he snuck away to see if he could catch a glimpse of the stranger. The stranger found him first. But despite the warnings, the stranger, a young buck close to his age(as far as he could tell), wasn't hostile towards him. Just curious. The two became fast friends in secret and when the patriarch finally learned of this and made to properly banish the stranger, Catali chose to warn him, and without hesitation decided to flee with his new friend. And as they traveled they became more than friends. Somewhere along the way the pair heard of a great gathering of deer and decided to attend, it isn't as if they had anything better to do...

Yukahn is a Coastian with a Chimney Swift halv! Second born son to the reigning Queen of his herd, Yukahn struggled to find his place in the world. Anxious but proud, he tried for years to gain his mother's favor and love, but was never truly able. Eventually shunned from his herd, Yukahn was forced to strike out on his own. Remembering the Gathering that some of their newer herd members had mentioned, he set out east hoping to find it. And he was lucky enough to do so. It was refreshing to be among a crowd that didn't look down on him simply for not being his brother. He laughed, he ate, he sparred. He felt lighter than he had in years. While sparring he challenged an odd, lanky stag with what appeared to be fangs like a wolves'. Something clicked between them and they became mutually obsessed with beating the other and they sparred long after they lost their audience. All except for one at least, a handsome dark stag that seemed to be his new rival's mate. Once exhausted, Yukahn was surprised to receive an invitation to hang out with the pair. They rested and talked and they found they had quite a bit in common. And Yukahn was smitten with both of them. As the gathering came to an end, the three decided to travel together, quite content.

Amadan is a Fielder mix with a Bearded Vulture halv! I... don't have lore for him yet... I'll work on that later lol

[macabr3-barbi3]

Hex: Smile Like You Mean It

guys I'm sorry I have no self control- enjoy my brain worms thinking that there needs to be a Hazbin/Dead by Daylight crossover (you can blame/thank @fraugwinska for encouraging me)

Tags: mentions of murder, blood and gore; brief mention of tentacles but not anything fun lol; vaginal sex; female reader

I have like two more parts planned for this fic specifically (and maaayyybe a little something planned for Halloween with my beloved Frau ❤️)

There was something weird about this new killer.

It took a while to notice the pattern- between the different trials and trying to repair generators and not get sliced to pieces or shoved onto a meat hook from the other killers- but once you got the idea in your head, it was impossible to ignore. You hadn’t mentioned anything to the other survivors yet, wanting to be sure before you brought it up and potentially pissed off all of the men and made them sulky and irritated in the other trials.

But it’s confirmed for you when the Radio Demon gives you a cheeky wave on your way out the exit gate after hooking Dwight, Gabriel, and Felix, his red eyes glowing in the darkness of the swamp and his antlers silhouetted by the light from the incomplete generators, having opened the gate for you as you were searching for the hatch.

He was sparing the women every chance that he could. The only time he even swung at one of you was if someone was trying to get him to drop one of the guys, and it was more like the batting away of a fly than him trying to inflict any serious damage. He would chase for a while before diverting or slipping into shadows to go after one of the men, he tutted disapprovingly when you dropped a pallet on his head, he would stand menacingly off to the side while you worked on generators, pleasant jazz in your ears in lieu of a thudding heartbeat. You had only been hooked by him one time, in a trial with four female survivors, and he had offered you a static-y “awfully sorry, my dear” as he pierced your shoulder, fading into shadows and giving Sable plenty of time to safely unhook you and heal you with her medkit. You all escaped- Nea even hung behind to find the hatch while the rest of you ran out the gate. When she returned to the fire she told you that she hadn’t seen a glimpse of him; the only sign that she wasn’t alone was the distant sound of jazz echoing across the farm.

You should have just accepted it. Told the other girls so you could coordinate and plan your trials when you arrived in them, so they all had some sense of peace in this hellhole. A killer that showed as much mercy as was possible in the Entity’s realm was a rarity- sure, every once in a while Ghostface would ease up and let everyone escape, enforce the completion of generators, encourage you all to help each other and drop pallets and cleanse totems. But the next trial he was always right back to merciless slaughter, like the generosity he had shown was just to change the pace a little, make things more interesting for himself, or maybe give himself something to be angry about the next time he faced the survivors.

But it burned in your mind. Why was the Radio Demon like this? Why was the Entity allowing it? You had just as little information about him as you did any of the other killers; some of them at least had a realm that they were linked to, that could provide some sort of clue. But with him there was nothing- he flitted between maps as trials changed, he never spoke to anyone, and he only went after the men when he could help it. The curiosity, the need to know consumed you.

So this time, when you spawn into the Racoon City Police Department, you work on the generators alone and avoid David, Nancy, and Leon as they run from the strange deer demon. A few minutes and some agonizing screams later, two loud booms ring out as Leon and David are sacrificed to the Entity.

Moments later, the exit gates open, spindly pikes coming up out of the ground to cover the generator you had been working on, and Nancy is at your side. “Come on, let’s get out of here,” she cries, her clothes stained in blood from trying to heal Leon before the Radio Demon downed him, and she’s pulling on your arm towards the gates.

“You go on,” you tell her. “I’m gonna try to find the hatch- I’ll see you back at the fire.” She doesn’t hesitate, only a single anxious nod before she’s off. As soon as you hear the vague humming of the hatch, you abandon the generator and search for the Hex totem- you know he has one, even if you don’t know exactly what kind of powers it grants him. But you do know that cleansing it, dismantling it, will alert him to your presence and hopefully save you the trouble of having to hunt him down. 

You stumble across him before you can even really start searching for the totem- seated at a desk off the main room of the police department, sipping at a mug. “My my, how brave you are!” He says, without turning to look at you, the jazz that he emits soft and somehow soothing in the quiet of the building. “Your little friend has escaped now- why don’t you run along with her?”

“I wanted to talk to you,” you tell him, and drop yourself into one of the nearby rolling chairs as a bell rings out, signaling that the exit gates would be closing soon. One of his ears perks up- and you’ll have to tell Feng that they are ears, because everyone had been debating and she was dead set on thinking that it was just strangely styled hair- and he swivels the chair around to look at you, eyes trailing up and down your much shorter frame. “Why do you always let the women go?”

“Ha! I had wondered how long it would take for one of you to notice.” He smiles, teeth razor sharp and dangerous, reminding you that despite his demeanor and how politely he speaks and the antlers atop his soft and fluffy hair, he’s still a predator- chosen by the Entity for his bloodlust to fuel these forsaken realms and inspire fear. “I merely operate by my own rules, that’s all!”

“And the Entity is okay with that?”

He leans forward so suddenly you almost don’t move back in time, jerking away as he appears in your personal space. “She prefers sacrifices, but she feeds on the emotions,” he says, delighting in the way that your heart rate increases and you grip the arms of your chair. “The uncertainty of not knowing if you’ll live or die. The adrenaline of a chase and knowing that if I catch you, you’ll be tossed on a hook like cattle. The terror in wondering if your luck has finally run out, and that perhaps this will be the time I acquaint you with my knife.” The mentioned blade is at your cheek then, materializing in his hand from the shadow and swiftly moving; not pressing in but merely resting on the soft skin there. “Don’t worry, darling,” he says softly at your sharp intake of breath. “I don’t need to hurt you. You’re already feeding her now- curious, don’t you think? That despite the trial being effectively over this realm hasn’t collapsed and sent us back to our respective areas with the others? It’s like a delicacy to her, a spot of curiosity and intrigue and excitement instead of the usual droll. She wants to see how this plays out.” 

The knife disappears. “Anyway, you’re correct in your assumption- I avoid the women when I can, because the emotions alone are satisfactory. The Entity knew about my… hm, let’s say ‘moral guidelines,’ when she brought me on board.”

You’re still frozen in place, the volatile nature of the situation making you cautious in your intrigue- he was unpredictable, and apparently the Entity was too. “You can’t do the same for the guys, then? If the emotions are enough?”

“Well, I have to bring something to the table, don’t I?” He finally moves back, settling back into his own seat. “She’d hardly have chosen me if she thought I would give her nothing- unfortunately for your male friends, they align more closely with those I targeted in life. In exchange for being able to spare you lovely ladies, the men cannot be allowed to leave.”

“I see.” You sit in companionable silence for a few minutes- imagine that; companionable! With a killer! - before you realize that the sound of the gate timer has stopped. Time is effectively frozen in the realm, like the Entity waits with bated breath to see what will happen next. “So, what happens now? Now that I know for sure, I mean. I don’t imagine you’ll just let me go.”

He regards you through narrowed eyes, the smile never leaving his face. “Hm, a curious situation we find ourselves in to be sure! I don’t presume you would keep my little secret out of the goodness of your heart?” He takes your silence as an answer. “Well, I can’t very well have you running off to tell your little friends, can I? If they know the game there goes all those delicious anticipatory emotions for the Entity, which puts me back at square one of having to kill everyone- despite my own moral obligations, I do fear that She can make me do her bidding if she’s not getting what she wants.”

As if to agree with him, the realm creaks and shakes, pictures falling from the walls of the office you sit in and shattering on the floor. “Quite the conundrum then- what to do with you!” He waves his hand and a tendril emerges from the darkness, circling you in the office chair, applying pressure to spin you in a slow circle before the demon. “Perhaps you could be persuaded to accept a deal for your silence?” Alastor rests his head in his hand, legs crossed at the knee as he watches you closely.

The atmosphere changes, dark shadows growing up the walls that surround you, never taking your eyes off Alastor. “What kind of deal?”

Your chair jerks forward, the wisps of darkness wrapping around the wheels and tugging it forward, tipping you out of the chair and effectively into Alastor’s lap, arms on either side of his head to hold yourself up. “As I mentioned, she feeds more off the emotions than the true sacrifices,” he murmurs, a tight grip on your arm and the other curling around the back of your neck to bring your face closer. His breath tingles against your lips as he speaks. “I believe we could provide her with more… pleasant emotions, if you’re agreeable to it.” The grasp on your arm loosens, sharp claws trailing delicately across the skin, sending shivers through your body. “A bit of a palette cleanser for all of us! Something to look forward to once in a while among all the carnage and death- in return for your silence and playing your usual part, of course.”

He couldn’t be proposing what it sounded like- and yet, his fingers are carding gently through your hair, the softest touch you’ve felt in months since coming to this place, his nails scratching pleasantly at your scalp as you tremble in his hold; fear, adrenaline, anticipation all spiraling and settling somewhere so low in your gut that it feels like arousal despite this world that you’re in, seated in the lap of a man with teeth so sharp they tear through flesh like knives. You should leave while his guard is down- you had no idea if the hatch would still be open but it seemed like the timer had stopped on the gates-

“H- how often?” You ask, instead of fleeing, and the fingers tracing soft patterns on your skin settles onto your waist, claws prickling through the summer dress you had been dragged into the Entity’s realm in.

“I believe that would be up to Her,” he says, and drops his head to the juncture between your neck and shoulder, sharp teeth gently brushing across your pulse point, where your heartbeat makes itself known. “We can’t have our private moments too often I would think; what would all your little friends say if you were missing so frequently? We can sort out the sordid details later, darling- focus on me now.”

And with that he pulls back far enough that his shadowy tentacles can slip between your bodies, pulling your dress up over your head and leaving you perched in his lap in just your panties. Alastor is leaning back in before you can cover yourself, his mouth latching on to the swell of your nipple and sucking it hard into his mouth, tongue swirling around the tip with a free hand coming down to tug at the flimsy fabric of your panties, the mere suggestion of his claws reducing them to scraps. His grip back on the soft curve of your hip, he pulls your body down against him to grind against the wet heat between your thighs, a reverberating groan against your chest that sends heat rocketing through your body.

It’s the most perfect thing you’ve felt in ages- firm pressure against your clit where his erection strains against his slacks, the slickness of your arousal irreparably ruining them. You hope for both of your sakes that despite the strangeness of the trial you were in, your clothing would be reset like it usually was; showing up to the fire completely naked wasn’t something that you wanted to be subjected to, nor was what would be unavoidable scrutiny from your teammates at taking so long in the trial and then showing up unclothed.

“You’re far too preoccupied with whatever is in that lovely head of yours,” Alastor says around a nipple, giving it a parting kiss before moving to the other side. “Am I not adequately entertaining you, my dear?” He continues to rut his hips up against you as he speaks, the tinkling of a belt buckle making you look down to see more of his tentacles undoing his pants so he doesn’t have to take his hands off you. That’s the thought that finally has you releasing the shaky breath you’ve been holding back, hands coming off the back of the armchair to tangle in his hair and clutch him closer to your chest. Sudden, burning heat presses against you, a moan suppressed into your skin as Alastor pulls back, kissing along your collarbone. “I’d so hate for you to be bored,” he says politely, and starts to shift you backwards off his lap.

“Wait!” You resist the pull, sliding forward again until the folds of your cunt rest against his cock, his hissed intake of breath sending your heart rate skyward. Hands braced on his chest now, you place your forehead against his. “Please, I want- fuck, Alastor, please…”

His grip tightens, tilting and lifting you enough that the tip of his cock presses insistently at your entrance. And fuck, you knew he was strong- he had to be, with the ease that he lifted the others, men entirely comprised of dense muscle, onto the hooks; how deep his slices cut with one swing; how easy it was for him to bust pallets and walls and fuck up your generators- but the demonstration of it now as he prepares to fuck you shoots arousal into your bloodstream, sharp and dangerous while he merely holds you aloft like its nothing, the drip of your arousal coating him where you hover in his grasp. “Go on,” he whispers, his lips brushing tantalizingly against yours. “Let me taste what you sound like needing me.” 

So you plead- you let the words fall from your lips like a prayer, to him, to the Entity, begging for release, for the pleasure that he’s promised you as a reprieve from the usual torture of these realms. “Please fuck me, please, Alastor, I need it- oh God, yes…” Your words dissolve into a drawn out whimper of his name as he pulls you down, sinking you onto his cock with such steady pressure that your limbs tingle with the feeling of being so perfectly filled. Your moans echo in the empty halls of the police department, no one to hear you as you settle fully into his lap, his length reaching deep inside you and brushing against that soft sweet spot that many back home struggled to hit with any accuracy. He stills and allows you to adjust to him, claws still gripping the plush skin of your thighs while you breath deeply and force yourself to move slow to start.

Alastor exhales harshly through his nose when you rock your hips against him, a slow grind that has his cock dragging deliciously against your inner walls. The way he’s watching you, the feeling of his tight grip against your skin- it’s all such a contrast to the feelings you’ve been plagued with since the Entity abducted you. There’s still a tinge of fear but with it- burning, glorious pleasure, anticipation that grows in your gut along with the distant ache of an approaching orgasm, the satisfaction of a curiosity being sated. You use the little leverage to have to lift up a couple inches off his cock before rocking back down, a desperate whine escaping you when he bucks his hips to meet your thrust. You establish a rhythm, slow and firm with the pressure exactly where you need it even without a hand between your bodies to rub at your clit. You were sure if you snaked a hand down now it would be over, cumming in Alastor’s lap as many times as you could manage before he finally finished himself. But you were in no rush- you could stay like this forever, you think deliriously, riding this demon’s cock without a single thought to the world outside this room, the dangers of the Entity’s realm that normally lurk around every corner.

Like she can hear the thought as it enters your head, a bell rings out- the world shakes around you as the end-trial timer starts again, shadows that are different from Alastor’s growing up the walls and dismantling the realm at the seams.

“Oh dear,” Alastor says, his hands tightening their grip on your body even as he ceases his thrusting. “It would appear that we now have a time limit, darling. Perhaps you’d better run along now- we wouldn’t want you to get caught in the Entity’s clutches, would we?”

He knows as well as you do what happens when the timer runs out- dark spikes that emerge from the ground to spear the unfortunate survivor that took a second too long in finding the hatch or opening the gate, like the Entity was throwing a tantrum at them not playing her game the way she wanted. And he’s not wrong- if you had any sense of self-preservation you would climb out of his lap and stumble with your weak legs back towards where you had heard the hatch earlier. Fuck, you wouldn’t even still be here if you had any true survival instincts, because where was the logic in staying in a confined space with who was, despite his honeyed voice and thick cock, a confirmed killer?

You didn’t want to risk being caught when the timer ran out, impaled in a far less pleasurable way than you currently were- but maybe the buzz of pleasure was making you a little careless in your decision making. You were so close to orgasm, you didn’t think it would take you long to get there.

He starts to lift you from his lap and you clench your inner walls in protest, stealing the groan from his lips with a fierce kiss. “No, wait- I have enough time, let me keep going.”

You feel him smile against your lips. “I admire your dedication, my dear, but time is fleeting- I’d hate for you to feel rushed, there’s always next time.”

That should sound promising, the knowledge that you can have this again, but instead it spurs you into action. “Fuck, no, need it now-” You rise up and slam back down onto him, your legs digging into the sides of the chair, your thighs straining with the effort you’re now exerting as you properly ride him, fast and sloppy. It’s desperate now, the need that you feel- as the world around you continues to shudder and quake you make quick work with your fingers, finally reaching between your bodies to slide your fingers through the slick of your arousal and rub at your clit, engorged and throbbing in your need. Alastor lets out a soft noise as your walls flutter around him in time with the flickering of the lights, cumming with a whine into his mouth as your body tenses in his grasp, fingers digging into the fabric of his shirt in an imitation of his claws. Your vision goes dark- which might be an effect of the realm disintegrating, now that you think about it- and everything is crackling electricity and white-hot pleasure that drowns out everything but the sound of Alastor grunting as he continues to fuck up into your pliant body, soft and soaked in the remnants of your orgasm.

Black oozes down the walls surrounding you, the full collapse of the police department imminent as Alastor stands suddenly, tentacles sending papers and binders scattering so he can lay you across the desk, thrusting in time with the ringing of the bell. He bucks his hips once, twice, before spending himself with a couple long pulses, the last spilling across the bare skin of your pelvis as he pulls out.

You know that the collapse is going to happen now, that you wasted any chance you might have had of escaping in favor of cumming on Alastor’s cock, but you can’t bring yourself to care as Alastor pants softly, brushing your hair from your forehead and standing, helping you get your feet under you before he takes a step back. “Until next time, my dear,” he says, and before you can even inquire what he means there are cool, ghost-like hands wrapping around your ankles. A glance down reveals that in the chaos of the collapse Alastor had moved the pair of you- shifting through the shadows until you stood outside RCPD instead of the office you had been occupying, the hum of the hatch ignored despite being so close to you.

His shadow grins at you from the fading sidewalk and tugs hard, sending you sprawling through the hatch with Alastor’s glowing eyes watching you from above.

You land hard on your back beside the campfire, immediately swarmed by your friends- Nancy in particular is teary, worried about having left you alone with Alastor after she escaped. After covertly confirming that you were clothed- because thank God, showing up late would be one thing, but late and naked was another- you shoo them off with some fabricated story about Alastor chasing you away from the hatch whenever you got close.

Everyone’s minds at ease, you settle onto a log by the fire, Meg and Laurie on either side of you as they tell you about their own trials; no one else seems to notice the wispy shadow that lurks on the edge of the woods, or the way that it grins and winks before fading into the fog.

[b0xerdancer-writes]

It Wasn't Supposed To Happen Like This Part 5

Eris x Rhy's Sister! Reader

Summary: Eris used to be attached at the hip to Rhysand’s younger sister. Now that he has taken over as High Lord of the Autumn Court, his father’s old high table have been pressuring him to take a wife, he comes up with the brilliant lie that he's already courting someone and has been for several years now. Eris asks Rhysand’s little sister, the best way to get away with it and make it believable, to fake court her.

Warnings: Elain and Mor slander, cussing 18+, some nsfw lean but no sex scenes yet, alcohol, parental abuse, death, murder, arguing. Not proofread.

Trope/Prompt: Fake Dating

Word Count: 4,570

Notes: Rhys and reader talk things out, Lucien is a soft boy and gives the best hugs. Shit starts getting real.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I had only ever been in Rhys’s office a handful of times since he took over after dad. He had remodeled it, gotten rid of any feeling that father had left in that room.  It felt so much colder to me in here now, it sent chills up my spine as I sat in the padded leather chair. The room was empty around me save for my bag that housed my book from earlier and quiet, eerily quiet that had me raking my eyes across every shelf, every nook, and every cranny in observation. 

Eventually the door creaked open and Rhys entered with a tray of cookies in one hand, I could hear the giggles before I saw him. Small pale hands wrapped around Rhys knee as  he tried to shoo Nyx off while he ‘had to deal with some work stuff’. Eventually the child relented, his wide eyes locking with mine like a deer in the headlights; before Rhys handed him half of a cookie and he scampered off.

I had always been distant with my family, it had started with our parents. Rhys favored our mother and saw our father as a bad person but it was the opposite with me, I favored our father and our mother despised me even threatened to clip my wings herself if it would get me out of her hair; I had ran to Rhys crying that night and he didn't believe me but when I told father the yelling within the house could be heard in every room. Rhys’s visits had become scarcer and scarcer after that, then he was sent to Windhaven and mother accompanied him. 

Then into the picture came Cassian and Azriel. I had nothing against them in the long run but they seemed to follow Rhys’s ideology too closely. They saw me as an expansion of my father, and oh how Rhys had told them about him but that I wasn't nearly as bad just needed a steer in the right direction. The only person who had seemed to see me as more than a daddy’s girl at this point was Eris, everytime father and I would show up in Autumn Court it was like a breath of fresh air and he just accepted me as I was. Eris had put his all into learning my interests and favorites, making sure he remembered them and surprising me with little things that I had mentioned here or there to him. 

It went downhill after the death of my mother and sister. I had never met my sister. At that point father insisted she and mother stay in Windhaven and after she reached a certain age then he would bring them to Velaris. We had been in Autumn when father got the news, I remembered the panic as Eris and I rushed back up to the Forest House, we had barely stepped through the gardens archway when father pulled me from Eris’s grasp; I had twisted my ankle in the rush and Eris was steadying me, I barely got the goodbye out of my mouth before we were winnowing. 

I had been to Windhaven only once or twice before my sister's birth. Father had warned me to stay away from it as most of them were brutes and that someone as gentle as I was had no business being there. I felt the chill before I saw the cause of it, as we appeared in windhaven the sight of a torn up cabin greeted us. Rhys was collapsed in the snow on his knees, Cassian and Azriel either side trying to comfort him but grieving themselves. At father’s appearance the boys stilled and tensed either side of Rhys, Rhys looked up at father’s approaching steps. My own smaller ones behind his, blood was splattered on the snow around the entrance and on Rhys’s hands. The grief in my brother's eyes and the blood was enough for me to guess what had happened to a degree. They were dead, murdered I surmised by the violence around me. Father held his hand out in a motion I knew meant to stop and stay where I was, and he pushed through the cabin door; the smell of death and iron was thick but disappeared as soon as the door closed. All three males shot me a look of sympathy and pain as I placed my own hand on Rhys with a small sad smile meant to comfort him in my own way. 

I had hated to admit it to myself but I had accepted her death a long time before it had happened. I had accepted it the night she had threatened to rip my wings from me, she had bruised my shoulders with the strength of her grasp as she shook me and screamed at me. The day she moved back to Windhaven was a relief to me, it no longer felt like walking on eggshells, but I would never tell Rhys that.

Father came out of the cabin tense, it must have been brutal whatever it was. To others the look would seem incredibly cold, and I would bet Rhys thought that as well but to me I knew what was happening behind his cold exterior. He was accepting grief, he  might not have loved her nowadays but he had wanted to once, then she simply saw him as a captor and never gave him a real chance and that she was simply doing her duty to her high lord, and had only ever been cold to him. He had told me that late one night after we returned from Autumn Court, a night the bond in my chest ached so desperately I had ended up crying in his arms. 

Father steeled himself for a moment, but yet patted Rhys’s shoulder as he walked by towards where other illyrians had started gathering including the camp lord. He exchanged words with them before he nodded at them and shook hands with the camp lord.  A few minutes passed before he was pulling Rhys to his feet with a simple shoulder pat and with a nod he pulled me into his side and we were winnowing back to Velaris. I didn’t hear anything else about Windhaven, Rhys, or mother for a while after that.

Before I knew it, my father was disappearing into the underground portion of our court to discuss business with his brother.  It was nearly a month after mother’s death before we visited Autumn Court again, when we finally did and I was meeting with father in the living room, He was looking at me sadly even though I was ecstatic  if I had done my math correctly it would be announced today that Eris and I were to be engaged and wed soon after that. I had simply summed up the sadness in his eyes as the fact he was sad he would be letting me go, the grief of a father losing his daughter to a husband. I could not have been further from correct.

I should have sensed something was off when Eris didn't greet me as excitedly. Instead this day would be full of tears and my stunned silence until I made it home. Eris had cried in my lap as he told me and begged me not to hate him or leave him. I had known about his fathers abuse growing rapidly with every one of his brothers that had been born. I had made a deal with him then and there that I would never be able to hate him, that I would never leave him alone, and that I would always be there. 

When we had winnowed back into the house, all I did was simply sink to the floor as the sobs began to wash over me. Father had wrapped me in his arms and sat on the floor with me rocking, apologizing repeatedly begging me to forgive him. He had sobbed into my hair as he held me that he couldn't lose me too and that though I had every right to hate him that he'd figure out some way to make it up to me. It would never return to the way it had been now that Mor was in the picture.

It had been a rough night after that, the pain in my chest made it hard to sleep, so I had gone down to warm some tea and honey to dull the ache and lul me back to sleep. Instead as I rounded the corner into the living room I was greeted by the sight of Rhys and father touching foreheads, father had one hand wrapped around the back of Rhys’s head pulling him to him. They had both looked up as I entered, they were dressed in fighting leathers black as the inky sky outside. Father had simply beckoned me over and lifted my head by my chin with a sad smile, I had learned that meant something isn't sitting right with him, something was making him anxious. He mentioned they would be back in the early hours of the morning and patted me on the shoulder as Rhys and him disappeared into the world around them as they winnowed, it left a smell like fresh roses. I had understood what was going on without him saying anything, he was going to get revenge for his mate. A pit quickly grew in my stomach, as I stirred the honey into my mug of tea. 

I had stayed up for them that night, anything past Rhys showing back up alone, the obvious signs and scent of becoming Highlord clung to him, was a massive blur. Blood clung to him, and he had given me a sad look and shook his head, I had screamed and sobbed, Rhys had held me there silent and covered in blood as I cried, like he had cried for mother. 

I had become a loner after that, Azriel and Cassian moved into the house, it wasn't as quiet anymore but it had stopped feeling like home that night. Rhys updated the wards around the house, no more winnowing in or out anymore, and said it was for protection. Shortly after that Cassian, Azriel, and Rhys were dragging Mor into the house as she bled out, the scent of autumn clung to her skin.  I had rushed past them out towards the balcony, manifesting my wings to rush down to Velaris so I could winnow to the Autumn Court, to mine and Eris’s spot. I had comforted Eris that day, rage bubbling just under my skin.

I had become bitter with Mor since I had heard the lie she told, since the second she began slandering my mate. I grew closer with Azriel, and Cassian slowly yet surely till I could consider them brothers myself. I couldn't remember when we picked up Amren along the way, but she made life in the house more bearable. Then Amarantha came and I lost my brother for 50 years. I had bought an apartment after a week of hearing Mor bitch at every dinner, after a week of Cassian and Azriel being distant and emotionally unavailable. I hadn’t been at the house  when he showed up murmuring about his mate, I hadn’t even known till the next day when he showed up at my door murmuring about how I moved but he needed me and was asking me to move back into the house; I sold the apartment without a second thought and was back into my old room, Mor was still everywhere so I opted to stay in my room. 

The next few years of my life seemed to rush by, Feyre, Nesta, and Elain joining our circle, well Rhys’s circle. At the beginning I had gotten along with feyre well, and I was still thankful to her for rekindling the flame in my brother but when Elain had treated Lucien the way she did I had snapped at her, I still saw Lucien as the shy young male that hid behind Eris’s legs when he first introduced us. My breaking point with Elain was when Lucien returned from a rough time in Spring and needed a good hug; I had pulled him into one and Elain, despite openly confessing she wanted nothing to do with him and clinging onto Azriel’s arm, had made a comment about how I must have been desperate to go after a male with a mate. It was after she had seen me and Azriel laughing both sweaty and laying on the floor by the training ring and had made a comment about how Azriel was taken and that I needed to stop trying to whore myself out to him.  Azriel had shot her a look of surprise at her answer, and had defended me in saying that wasn't what was happening but shortly after that I stopped training with them entirely. 

Lucien and I had gotten our own apartment shortly after, it had been my idea due to the suffocating feeling the House of the Wind had become anymore, he agreed since he was looking into getting one himself anyways. Elain shot me a dirty look anytime I was in the same room as her nowadays, but wouldnt say a thing to me after I yelled back at her and called her some not so pleasant things. Nesta had completely stopped talking with me after that, and Feyre rarely did anymore unless it was on Rhys’s behalf or on business. Needless to say that due to that strain, I had never been close with my nephew and had only seen him a handful of times since his birth.

I was shaken from my thoughts as Rhys held a cookie out to me, the promise ring on my hand glinting as I reached to take it. Rhys pulled the cookie back, dropping it onto the tray as he grabbed my hand from the air. He turned my hand every which way to observe the ring. 

“Eris really out did himself here really.” It was meant to be under his breath but the tone it came out in sounded poisonous. 

I pulled my hand back from his quickly. “Yes he did, is there a problem with it brother? I agreed to help him.” I’ll admit it came out as a hiss.

Rhys lifted his hands into the air in surrender. “Woah, woah, sorry didn't mean it to sound like that. Just made me realize how desperate he really is.”

“He's trying to reform his court Rhys! He might have to take a few more steps to do so than you did, but you did the same thing when you took over after father died.” A low blow admittedly but it worked.

“Sorry, you're right. I just wanted to check where you are standing on all of this. It's a big ask of you.” His voice was calm,his voice he used for business, void of emotion. He sat the cookies on his desk and took a seat in his chair opposite me.

“He told you I agreed, So you know where I stand. He has always been a close friend to me, if he needs my help why would I tell him no.” He didn’t need to know the whole truth.

Rhys took a deep breath in and dropped his head into his hands. “Your right, you two have always been close. I just thought tensions might be high after your blow up at Rita’s.”

My blow up?

My.

Blow.

Up?

I growled and stood quickly slamming my hands onto his desk and he leaned back in his chair with a flinch as he looked up at me. “My Blow Up? Rhysand. It was you who allowed them to speak to him like that. Do you believe my judgment to be so flawed that I can't decide who I trust with MY well-being?”

“I didn’t mean it like that, just you went off on everyone at that table. Including Mor, and she deserves your anger least, it was him who let her come into harm's way.”

I saw red for a second as the growl rumbled in my chest and I slammed my talons into his mental shield and he hissed at the contact. “Rhysand, mother above, you are the daftest fucking male I know. To fucking high on your horse to realize you are no fucking better than him. None of you are. Do you even know the truth behind what happened to those two? I guarantee you don't because if so you would be giving Cassian looks of pity, not Mor.”

Rhys slammed his own hands palm down on his desk and stood up, looking down on me to try and intimidate me into calm. “No better than he is? Please that male is nothing but his father’s son. Why would I give Cassian looks of pity? Because Mor used him? We all know that.”

His talons scraped along my shield but I didn't even wince, one thing father had made sure I was thoroughly trained on was daemati powers, from the second the power had manifested in me. It was one subject I was confident I had a one up on Rhys in.

I scoffed loudly, a bitter laugh falling from my mouth as I raked my talons across his shield again, a warning and a reminder. “You absolute fucking hypocrite Rhysand. Nothing but his father’s son? Look in the fucking mirror, or the fucking ouroboros for all I care and you will see you are the exact same. Didn’t you make a whole point when you became high lord, especially with the Court of Nightmares actually, that you were just as cold as you said father was? Did you not step back and put Feyre on display under the mountain like how Mor was on display just to save you and everyone here?”

He flinched but knew I was right so even though he opened his mouth to rebuttal he didn't push through when I sunk my talons into his shield cracking it. “No. You don't get to speak hypocrite. Mor has you all in her fucking pocket in regards to that damn story,” I shoved my wrist in his face, the butterfly tattoo on display. “I made a damn bargain with her when she realized I knew, I told her she has to come clean to you all and especially Cassian, and no I will not explain why it is not my place to tell that story, soon in exchange she promised that she will no longer be slandering Eris and if she catches any of you slandering him she is to shut it down.”

His eyes widened as he looked at the wine red butterfly. “You're his mate. Aren’t you?” His voice was barely audible but I had caught it still.

“How?” My eyes widened, and my talons slipped from their grasp.

“You defend him so viciously, and without a single thought or doubt. You tear down anyone who seeks to tear him down, even if it puts yourself at risk to be hurt. Like I do with Feyre now, or Cassian with Nesta.”

I was stunned into silence. Was I really that obvious?

“That book you were reading, about soulmates and the likeness, you were reading it about him I assume? He doesn't know, does he?”He whispered it, his own eyes still wide. I felt his talons tap on my shield asking to be let in, and I pushed back against him in refusal.

“Stay out of my head Rhys.” I hissed. “When did you realize?” I couldn’t have been that obvious, could I? Both Rhys and Lucien had figured it out within 2 days of me and Eris being back around each other.

“Just now, honestly, I just pieced it together. When you mentioned Feyre and I realized if I had seen all those eyes on her now, I would have reacted the same way as you.” His voice softened as he spoke, as the reality hit him. “How long have you known you were his mate?”

“Since we were 12.” I mumbled and looked down.

“Oh. By the mother, that's why you were always so violent towards Mor. Cauldron we were all so blind to the reason behind your rage. I’m sorry.” He sat down and I felt him pull back out of my mind completely.

I took a step back from the desk, the backs of my knees touching the leather chair. I met his eyes, disdain and anger in my own eyes. “If only it started there Rhys. Imagine if you had lost Feyre to Tamlin right after you had just gotten her here that first time. Imagine the pain that would have caused you, now imagine that pain gets worse every time you have to walk away from her with an unsolidified bond for over 500 years.” My words were venom to him. 

His eyes found mine and he seemed like he wanted to cry. “I… I couldn’t imagine Moonbeam. I’m sorry, though I know my apology is nothing to aid the pain you have felt for that long.” 

I crossed my arms over myself, retracting into myself. I had gotten my anger out, I just wanted to retire to my apartment now, just wanted to cook dinner in the kitchen with Lucien while we sang whatever songs popped in our heads. “Remember that Rhys, the next time you want to judge him, and you mock me for defending him. You and him are two sides of the same coin. I have defended him for over 500 years, I will defend him for 500 more even if I’m putting myself at risk. No questions asked. I vowed that to him when we were younger; the day we were told he was to marry Mor I made a bargain that I would never leave him alone in this world, that I would never hate him and that I would always be there if he needed me.

Rhys simply nodded. “I get it Moonbeam. I’d do the same for Feyre if she asked.”

I nodded and looked at the floor. “I know you would Rhys, you aren’t a bad male and neither is Eris. You just have to see past his own mask. I’ve just been lucky and honored to see past it from the get go.”

Rhys looked at his desk, defeated and probably rethinking his actions towards Eris through again. I picked my bag up from the couch and flung it over my shoulder, I wrapped a couple cookies in a napkin and tossed them into a smaller pocket in my bag. 

As I was about to push the door open Rhy cleared his throat. “Does he know?” I shook my head and he sighed. “Okay. I trust you, you know what you're doing acting like you've been courting him right?”

I let out a sad short laugh. “Actually Rhys I honestly don’t have a clue. But he needs me. He asked me to do this for him, and why would I tell him no? I know I’ll probably get hurt in the long run, but what if it's the exact opposite? What if we go through this whole thing and he realizes one day suddenly that I'm his mate, that it's always been me? I can't give up hope because I might break my own heart. I can’t be selfish like that Rhys. If I get hurt I get hurt, but at least I still have him in my life somehow.”

Rhys nodded. “Be careful, okay? I'll always be here with cookies and the stars.”

I pushed the door open softly and looked back over my shoulder at him sadly. “I hate to burst your big brother and father mentality bubble right now Rhys, but you stopped being there before you left for Windhaven. You stopped being there after mother snapped at me, don’t try to be now please.” I let the door click behind me. 

The walk to the balcony was quick, the early night chill greeted me as I manifested my wings and flew down towards the landing of my apartment. I landed on the metal steps right before the small porch area me and Lucien had set up with a small table and two chairs, the wards whirred as they unlocked and music greeted me as I pushed the door open. Lucien was home, thank the mother Lucien was home, I needed a good fucking hug after that shitshow with Rhys. 

Music blasted from the kitchen, from the little enchanted mechanism Lucien had brought home with him a couple missions ago. His bright orange hair was pulled into a loose messy bun on top of his head, and he greeted me brightly spatula in hand, though once he had looked me over he set it down and rounded the counters enveloping me into a hug.

“You look like you had a shit day, what happened.” He rubbed my back softly.

I would die for Lucien’s hugs, he gave the best ones in the entirety of Prythian. “Rhys found out about the bond between me and Eris.”

“Oh?” He sounded worried

“Yeah.” Simple, easy.

“Oh. I’m sorry.” He'd make us spiked cider tonight and we'd forget this evening happened.

“He tried to talk down on Eris.” Anger, yet I hadn’t the energy to be angry.

“You beat his ass?” A sweet effort to make me laugh, and it actually worked.

“Close enough, I put him in his place for sure.” I snickered into his shoulder.

“That's my sister that I know.” He snarked.

I shoved his shoulder and pushed away from him. “I’m not your sister.” 

“Correction: Not yet.” He snickered loudly.

I rolled my eyes at him “I'm gonna go change.” I took my bag off my shoulder, grabbing the wrapped cookies and pressing them to him. He happily took them, popping one into his mouth and sitting the rest on the counter, I sat my bag on the coffee table. 

“Oh!” He waved his cookie at me. “You had a delivery come while you were out.”

“Just my dress Luc, wanna see it?” I raised my brow at him.

“Ohhh there is so much more than ‘Just a dress’ there love. There was only one bag from here. The rest are autumn court tried and true. Gifts from my brother I have no doubt.” He smirked at me.

“Luc… What am I about to find in my room? How much stuff is in there?” I questioned.

“Just your dress, and stuff to get our new roommate adjusted to life in night court.” He hummed smugly.

“OUR NEW ROOMMATE? LUCIEN WHAT AM I ABOUT TO FIND IN MY ROOM?” my eyes widened.

“I don’t know you haven’t named him yet.” He disappeared back into the kitchen and I turned down the hall to rush into my room.

I pushed the door open slowly just enough to peek into my room, low and behold I heard a happy little bark.  A few bags were stacked on my bed, a small fluffy bed was laid on the floor and happily nested in it was a small fluffy shadow hound.

“By the fucking Cauldron. LUCIEN WHAT THE FUCK.” Lucien’s laugh echoed down the hallway from the kitchen.

Taglist:

@stained-glass-eyes0708 @acourtofbatboydreams @abysshaven

@wallacewillow0773638 @azriels-mate2 @sassyslytherinshai

@sparksandstarss @pandabiiissh @saltedcoffeescotch

@cirwin2013 @minnieoo @easchies @melsunshine

@sweetcarolina-24 @florenceivy @inloveallthetime

[mintkookiess]

It's Always Been Her.

A/N before anything else: Hey there I'm Mint! I finally got the guts to actually post something instead of keeping it in my private blog sue me (╯•﹏•╰)

Felt a bit angsty today and I've been practicing more on my writing so, I decided why not post it

Please also note the characters here are aged up, none are minors, and Miles and our dear lovely fem!reader here are old enough to live together (Feel free to think up what age you want esp since there isn't really an age stated her). Plus, this has only been proof-read like twice and ran through grammarly once, hope it turned out okay still with the grammar and typos ಥ‿ಥ

Anyways enough about that, you can go ahead! Hearts and reblogs are appreciated

(Pls be nice ty)

Love,

Mint

P.S. AO3 saw it first here!

Summary: Y/n finds Miles comforting his ex girlfriend Gwen in their home.

Word count: 2.6k

Tags: Miles Morales x Fem!Reader Slight mention of blood (those are paper cuts I promise), angst (no happy ending babe), heartbreak, cutting up onions .°(ಗ д ಗ。)°.

"Y/n...?" Miles looked as if he had just seen a ghost, "How long have you been—" She hadn’t even realized how she stood by the door, crying with her mouth covered, her other hand clutching her aching chest, until he noticed her.

"Miles..." Y/n managed to choke out, her voice barely a whisper as she looked at her supposed lover Miles, comforting Gwen on the floor of their shared home's living room. Her eyes were filled with absolute sorrow, betrayal, hurt, anger, and anguish all rolled into one. She stood there helplessly, feet seemingly glued to the ground even if her brain has been telling her to run.

But she couldn't seem to look away or move a single inch as the tears continued to flow down like a stream down her cheeks that have turned pale from shock. Miles was rendered speechless, he had never seen Y/n like this, and he hadn't seen her cry much either.

"Y/n..." He said with a weak voice, his voice breaking ever so slightly as he slowly unwrapped his arms from Gwen, standing up to take a step towards her. He knew he should come to her, to hug her, comfort her, tell her it's okay but he couldn't seem to bring himself to do it. His hands trembled as he looked into her eyes. Y/n could see the fear and regret in them.

"What... What are you doing with her?" She croaked, still in a tone that made her voice sound like the harsh cold wind of winter. Y/n had watched Miles comfort Gwen for the past thirty minutes, and all she could do was see how vulnerable they were to each other, how Miles' comforting voice that felt so much like caramel soothed his ex-girlfriend who had been weeping like a deer in his chest.

It was another sense of betrayal and hurt, a whole new level of pain that Y/n couldn't even begin to explain. No words could describe how... broken she felt.

"She's... She's having.." he started, before pausing, trying to configure the right words to say to her—"She's having a hard time right now." He finally finished, his voice sounding weak. All Y/n did was stare right at him, tears still rolling down her eyes.

Seeing her cry made him want to do anything—to hug her, comfort her, and just say “Everything’s fine. I'm sorry, please stop crying, I love you." Miles didn't know what to do, it seemed as if he couldn't stop her from crying and it broke him.

Y/n started to let out small sobs from her lips that had dried and cracked from letting out so many tears. Her hands crept up to her face, trying to see if she could wake up from this dream that's become her new hell.

She was shaking her head slightly, shoulders sagging more and more as she felt all her patience thin out like paper. "You promised... You told me that you don't talk to her anymore." Y/n said slowly, her words slightly muffled from her hands.

Oh, how she tried so hard to not have her voice crack, even though she could hear her heart break into a million pieces per second.

Upon hearing her words, Miles visibly flinched. He looked down at his feet as if he was suddenly ashamed of himself. His head tilted back up to her, his eyes filled with shame. Miles stood there frozen, a few feet away from her, unable to bring himself to approach or move a single inch.

It was as if he wanted to make it up to her, but he was too scared, too fearful of what would happen. "Y/n..." The way he said her name was like it was a silent prayer, a plea. "I'm... sorry..."

After a few more tears, she removed her hands from her face. Her head hung low, but her eyes looked up at Miles with newly found determination and courage but still with a tinge of fear and hurt.

"You still love her."

Her words itself may have downright punched her heart as she could feel it gets beaten up and shatter, falling to the depths of her very soul. She didn't want to utter what she had been thinking since she saw the way Miles comforted Gwen with so much love that she thought was only reserved for her. Y/n feared that once she said it out loud, it would become real.

But deep down she knew that this had become her reality, whether she said it or not.

Miles felt like he was stabbed at every syllable, how deep her words wounded him. Yet he had to admit that the truth in what she said made them all the more gut-wrenching.

He looked away from her, trying to gather some little courage before facing Y/n once more. Miles' brown eyes bore into hers, two pairs of eyes containing remorse, regret, and betrayal. "Yes..." He finally answered, the weight of his guilt dragging every word down with him.

The second he confirmed her statement, it was as if her vision went black. "Thank you... for your honesty." Was all she could say.

Y/n's feet may weigh a thousand pounds right now, but she forced herself, dragging herself out the door. The only thing that she could think of was that she had to get away.

To run.

To hide.

To go to a place where Miles wouldn't find her.

His simple “ yes “ reply was enough to tell her that she was no longer wanted or needed. She felt herself to be a burden, someone holding back Miles from truly loving Gwen. Even though he had made promises to her, that he'd keep his and Y/n's relationship safe and out of harm.

As she started to walk away, Miles' heart severed apart with each step she took. He had never felt so lost, so scared, as he did right now. He hasn't even spared Gwen a glance behind him as he tried to take another step towards the direction Y/n disappeared to.

She walked away from him and he could only watch. All he wanted was to ask her to stay, to forgive him. He didn't want to lose Y/n, but he was too scared to act, fearing that it would make matters worse than it already was.

If that was even possible.

Y/n turned right towards their shared bedroom, her eyes sticking to the ground because she refused to take in the sight of the many pictures of her and Miles scattered around the walls and tables of the bedroom.

She made a beeline to the closet, pulled out luggage, and just threw in all the clothes she owned, every accessory in their shared drawers, and every perfume that decorated the vanity.

Y/n was slowly removing every trace of her in the bedroom.

Once she was done, she zipped the luggage close, and stomped to their framed pictures, their polaroids that were clipped to the walls, everything that had the both of them in it, and started throwing them across the tiled floor. She didn't let out a single scream, letting the picture frames break to make all the noise for her as she couldn't let out any noise.

Every time it shattered against the polished floor, her heart broke along with it.

Y/n continued to break and rip every picture, tears streaming hot down her cheek, dripping off her chin, and staining the dissipated pictures and smashed frames by her feet.

Miles stood there, his heart in his throat, hearing the sounds of glass smashing and wooden picture frames hitting the floor. He didn't move, though it hurt to hear that, and seeing the pictures being destroyed hurt even more.

He knew he should do something, he knew he should call out to her—but he was too much of a coward. He watched her destroy everything that held memories of their now-broken relationship.

Once everything was laid out on the floor either broken or ripped to shreds, Y/n fell to her knees, her hands covered in deep cuts as it started to bleed out from how hard her grip was while smashing the frames and destroying the pictures.

But she could only stare, her soulless eyes glazing over her two hands that had so much resemblance to her emotional and mental state. All wounded and cut up, bleeding for the whole world to see.

Her fingers shook ever so slightly, her perfectly manicured nails were now tinted a crimson shade from her blood, and all she could do was stare.

She didn't even feel any pain.

Miles finally snapped out of it, letting out a pained gasp as he sees her lacerated hands. He knew he had to do something and so he tried to walk to her, taking each step as if they were as heavy as lead weights. "Y/n... please... stop... you've hurt yourself..." He said as tears made their way down his face once again.

It was as if Y/n didn't hear him even though she did. She refused to respond, picking up the little pieces of the pictures she destroyed and examining them with her bloodied hands.

Every picture she saw, each one was of them that stared back at her with wide smiles. So much life, so much love and passion.

Now look at them. Look at how they ended up.

It was so pathetic that she thought it was laughable. How could their picture-perfect relationship turn into something so hideous, so ugly? Her mind was on constant replay of the way Miles' arms were wrapped around Gwen, whispering sweet nothings to her as she cried uncontrollably against him.

"Why did you do this to us Miles? We were doing so good..." She muttered. Y/n's face no longer held any sadness or... Any emotion. She was just there, kneeling on the floor with her cut-up hands and body staying still like she became a doll devoid of feelings.

"Y/n—" He started, his voice quiet and unsure. Miles continued to inch closer and closer to her, though it was clear he did so with caution. "I know that right now it may be hard for you to believe me, but... I'm sorry... I didn't mean for things to go this far I swear..." Miles whispered with quivering lips. He was trying so hard to remain composed, but he could feel his emotions overflow and take over his entire body.

He continued towards her until he was inches in front of Y/n, his heart practically beating out of his chest and with hands that were mad trembling.

"Y/n... Please don't leave me..." His voice convulsed in guilt. Miles knelt to be at her eye level, to beg for her forgiveness. He didn't care that the frame shards were probing his knees. He eyed her injured hands, reaching his hands toward her as if he was trying to stop her from leaving him forever.

But he could sense it. They both could. It was the end for the two of them.

Y/n was too tired, too exhausted to push his hands away. She remained in her spot as she felt walls around herself build-up, her soul fading further away from reality, causing her to be numb. Her eyes drifted to the hands that belonged to him, she couldn't help but remember how these same hands were the place she called her safe space for so many years.

Now, she thinks of it as the hands that had ruined her ruined them.

She sees the hands that had comforted someone who wasn't her, another girl who wasn't even supposed to be in their lives anymore. "Go to her Miles..." She whispered weakly, still refusing to look at him.

Miles' breath hitched, and his face paled at the words that came out of her mouth. "Y/n... no..." he tried to say something, to make her stay, anything. There were so many words on his tongue that he wished to utter out, but he didn't have the courage or strength to say a single one.

He wanted to say how much he loved her, but he knew that Y/n was drifting further away from him with each passing second.

So Miles did the only thing he could and stared at her, with a face frozen with shame and fear.

His words slowly snapped her out of her trance, like a spell that seemed to have awoken her back to reality.

She slowly pushed herself up, wiping down her hands on her skirt to remove the remaining blood that hadn't dried out. Her e/c eyes finally looked down at Miles, kneeling before her.

Y/n felt her blood boil at how pathetic he looked. She wondered how he could look in such a way when he was the one at fault, who practically shredded their relationship into pieces the moment he let Gwen inside their home.

"Go to her Miles," She repeated with a more stern voice. Her breathing started to become heavier with all the anger inside of her threatening to spill over. "That's what you wanted anyway right?" Y/n said a bit louder now. "It's her! It's always been fucking her right?!" She was yelling, each word leaving a strain on her throat and a bad taste on her tongue.

Her hands balled into fists, feeling the sting of her nails digging into her new cuts and wounds but she didn't give two shits about it right now.

The fire in her eyes scared Miles. He started to hyperventilate, his chest tightening and feeling his lungs scream in search of air. Her voice was laced with so much malice and hatred that it scared him. “Y/n, please... I—" His words were getting tangled, and they were sounding more and more like a mess.

"It's always been her. No matter how many fucking times I tried to be perfect for you, to be the best woman for you. It was never fucking enough because I WASN'T HER!" Y/n cried out, her hand clutching her chest so hard that she thought she would dig into her skin and her heart would bleed out.

She was heaving alongside him, their chests rising up and down in sync. Her every word tasted sour to her like each syllable was a dart of poison that was stabbing her insides and gutting her out. Miles flinched as her words pierced through him.

It was his fault, and he knew it. It hurt him to see the person he had come to love, hate him. He knew he deserved the anger, the hate, and he just felt himself hit rock bottom.

How could he do that to her?

To destroy her trust?

Gwen had wanted to talk to him about something and started telling him about her problems. He wanted to be there for her, but not realizing that he was jeopardizing his relationship with Y/n until it was too late. Some of his heart still belonged to Gwen, but god did he wish it didn't.

"Well, you should be fine now though, right? You can go back to her because I'm leaving." Y/n said with a newfound calm tone. She walked past him to grab her luggage, wincing in pain from her wounds as she pulled them out of their bedroom, leaving Miles in the heap of ripped-up pictures and broken frames.

She also walked past Gwen who was sitting silently in the living room.

She tried to approach Y/n, but the wounded girl was quick to walk out the door, slamming it behind her as she disappeared into the night, leaving the place she'd called theirs for the last five years.

But now, it wasn't her home anymore.

Fin.

See more of my Miles content here babes!

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[adams-angels]

can you do a story where Adam is drunk and he vents to you about how Lilith and Eve left for Lucifer and you end up cuddling? (not dating btw, just friends)

Oops I made I'm pathetic again lol 🎸

💖 Please send me requests! Send me your own headcanons! I will draw! I'm obsessed rn!💖

Vent

It was late... Really late... You were sound asleep when there was a thump at your door. And then another. And then more. You groaned yourself awake, slipping out of bed. You put your robe on as you make your way to the front door. You rub your eyes as you open the door to see Adam. Very intoxicated, hold either side of the door frame to keep himself upright. "Okay." You sighed. "Took you long enough, bItch." You slurred his words. You pinched the bridge of your nose before moving your hand up, running it through your hair. "What is it this time, Adam?" This was unfortunately a common occurrence. Adam wood come to your apartment drunk rant about work, the seraphim, the women who'd reject him, Lute basically anything that pissed him off that day. You wouldn't mind so much if he wasnt drunk! He'd always try and get it off with you, but you didn't like him like that and you're pretty he didn't like you like that either. It was tiring.

He stared at you. His eyes half lidded. A scowl covered his face. "Do you know how hard it is to be me?" "Here we go." You think. You keep your face expressionless. Not that he'd notice you rolling your eyes anyway. You step aside for him to enter your apartment and he stumbles in towards your couch. He dumps himself on to it with such force you could of sworn you heard a crack.

"like, you think I have it easy?!" He scoffs. "Well, I do.. BUT, I didn't!" You walk over to the couch and sit on the coffee table so your facing Adam. "I had Lilith, right. And she was beautiful, oh my god stunning! But the FUCKING BITCH LEFT ME! FUCKING, ME! FIR SOME FUCKIN' SHORT ASS MOTHER FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT ANGEL!!?! What?! What was it about him, huh? His wings???" He continued. "What? I'm too fuCKIN TALL FOR YOU BABE!!" He yelled into the void, like he was screaming at Lilith.

You couldn't believe it. He was talking about Lilith. Never had he mentioned her. Ever since you met him he never once spoke about his ex wife's. Did something happen? Why is this all coming out? You didn't get a chance to speak, although you never really did when he vents.

"I gOt wiiiinnggggs now!!! AM I STILL NOT-" He stopped himself. "AUGH!" His hands went for his mask, he took it off and stared at the face of it. "And then Eve.... Not as hot as Lilith but a good replacement I guess. And she.. did left me too... For him." He sighed. "Well... Basically... He already took one." His eyes meet yours. "Why did he need her too?" He asked you, he was asking questions that he new you didn't have the answers for. "Why did they leave me, Y/N? What is it about me that's so fuckin insufferable that they left?" His voice waivered. "Why didn't they love me?"

That was it you dived into his arms, holding him closely as he started weeping into the crook of your neck. "Why does no one love me?" He sobbed. "Oh, Adam. You are loved. By so many people." His arms wrapped around you, his clawed at the back of your robe as he continued to cry.

You moved yourself to sit beside him as he continued to cry, you make sure to keep your arms around him. "Why him? What makes him so special?" He continued, he was now cuddled into your chest as he vented. "Everyone just thinks I'm okay, but I'm not. I'm not fucking okay!" He would rant between his sobs. You ran your fingers through his hair eventually he fell asleep on your lap. There was no way you could move, so you accepted your fate a tried finding a comfortable position to sleep in.

When you woke up you saw Adam trying to sneak out. With your snacks. His stares at you like a deer in headlights. "Uh... What are you doing?" You ask. "What's it fuckin look like, bitch? Bye!" He practically ran out of you apartment not saying another word.

～⁠♡✧⁠｡ I really hope you enjoyed! I'm not a writer by any means but I appreciate any support I receive so thank you for reading! ｡✧⁠♡～⁠