#they left so much gutter space just in case mama | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

melancholymetropolis · 3 years

Text

No Idea

Pairings: Athlete!Kirishima x PlusSize!Reader

Summary: College AU The reader is Kirishima's History tutor and they kinda have a crush on each other. It takes an afterparty filled with horny guys and a skin-tight dress for Kiri to realize he wants them all to himself.

Warning: Do I even need to say it at this point? It's smut, obvi. Kinda unedited. The reader and her best friend are black. Kirishima is a football player; he's VERY possessive over the reader. Her best friend is a little gay for her as well.

Author's Note: This was a commission!!!!! The client gave me this insane prompt and I had no choice but to go over the word limit. If you want to commission me, click here! Your support really means the world to me. Enjoy!

Word Count: 5,300

“You’re back early!” My roommate, Liza, yelled from the other side of the apartment-style dorm room. The sound of her chair scraping the floor followed shortly after, along with the light footsteps of her sock-clad feet. “I left you a plate in the microwave, in case you were hungry. I could heat it up, if you’re too tired— why the long face? What happened?”

“He didn’t show up,” I sighed as I dropped my books on the table and sank into a chair.

“How can he not show up?” Liza fumed crossing her arms. “His GPA is already in the gutter from all the other quizzes he seemed to fail before the semester even started.”

“I know,” I replied in a bored tone.

“He’s on academic probation—”

“I know.”

“One more hiccup and he’ll be off the football team—”

“I know.”

“Not to mention how you practically have to bend backward to make time for him—”

“Mhm.”

“Just for him to flake on you for the third time! I just—”

“Liza, please,” I rose from my seat and stood in front of her. “You don’t have to be angry with me. It’s truly okay.”

“No! It’s not okay!” She stormed to the microwave and pulled the cover plate from the inside. She removed the foil and pushed it back into the device, before pressing the start button four times. She turns to face me and forces an angered sigh from her lips. “He likes you, you know that right?”

I lifted my books from the table and walked to our shared room. I took in the words that she threw at me with each step and digested them. Kirishima liked me. It wasn’t as though I didn’t have an inkling that he may be, sorta found me attractive. Although I wore glasses, I wasn’t blind. At least with them on. I saw the way he looked at me when we were less than a foot apart. Shoulders practically touching as we slouched over the Advanced American History textbook. Our hands brushing against each other’s ever so often. The sparkle in his eye when he looked at me longer than a few seconds; the blush on his cheeks when I smiled at his corny jokes. His persistent tendency to walk me home, although most times, we finished our study sessions just before dusk. The way he stayed glued to my side during the journey to my dorm. How he’d carry my books on the way. I noticed it all and practically welcomed it, since I too found him attractive. The spiky redhead just had a way of making everyone swoon over him. Kirishima was genuinely a nice person, not because there was something in it for him, but just because.

The beeping from the microwave brought me back to reality. I placed the textbooks on the designated space on the shelf and fixed my scattered stationery from that morning. Liza shuffled in with a bowl of baked fetta pasta, and a piece of toasted garlic bread a few minutes later. She placed the bowl on the desk, with a fork, a can of sparkling soda, and my favorite metal straw.

“What did I do to deserve you?” I said with a tired smile.

“Helped me pass ‘Text and Ideas’ with an A-,” Liza smiled back and placed a hand on my shoulder.

“Oh right,” I took a seat at the desk and forked the starchy dish in my mouth. “This is heaven-sent.”

“I knew you’d like it!” She deemed walking to her own desk. “I got the recipe from tiktok.”

I hum in response and continued to stuff my face. After a few minutes of silence, I grab the phone from my back pocket and unlocked it. A new message from Kirishima was the newest notification from many and it said:

Hey, I am sorry for not showing up. My teammate got shitfaced and decided to take a dive into the fountain. It took three of us to pull him out. It sucks because I was really looking forward to seeing you.

Since my mouth had already filled to its brink with pasta, I opted for a tight-lipped smirk instead of a toothy one. Kirishima all but admitted that he missed me. My hunch was right: the feelings are mutual. I swallowed the pasta and swiveled around in my chair to look at Liza. Her eyes were glued to her phone, but she snapped her head up to laugh at the content on her screen. Once she was down laughing, I picked my phone up and pointed it in her general direction. Reaching forward, she grasped the device and quickly read the message.

“Don’t respond to him,” she said, handing the phone back to me.

“Why? I thought you were shipping us together?” I asked whilst forking more pasta in my mouth.

“That’s why I’m telling you what I am telling you!” Liza rose to her feet and in a split second, she stood in front of me with a sickening smile.

“I am afraid to ask,” I said with a sigh.

“You don’t have to; I’m gonna tell you anyway,” she squats between my legs and widens her smile. “That boy is already wrapped around your finger, all you need to do is pull away. Just a tiny bit and he’ll come running.”

“Liza. . .”

“Hear me out!” She rose to her feet again and walked to the closet. “Remember when I went thrift shopping last week and I picked up that cute bodycon dress?”

“Yeah. . . ?”

“Well, I washed it and realized that it didn’t have the BODY to fill it out properly.” She pulls the dress from the closet and turns back to me. “And since the Homecoming Afterparty is at the Quarterback's house tomorrow night, I thought it would be the perfect time for you to wear it.”

I eye the dress, taking in its extremely short length and strappy detailing on the front. One wrong move and my breasts would spill right out of it. But, one right move would have them fall onto Kiri’s lap. I tried my best to list the pros and cons of the situation. Pondering what I could get out of the ordeal going to the lion’s den dressed as a gazelle. Yet, all I could imagine was me twerking on someone’s son and taking him home afterward.

💘🖤💘🖤

The dress fit like a glove: perfectly tight, almost like a second skin, but very breathable. I paired it with some hoop earrings, a few bangles on each wrist, and 3-inch kitten heels. My goal was to dress to impress, not nurse my aching arches by the end of the night. The entire ride over to the nicer part of town was nerve-wracking, for one, the Uber driver wouldn’t stop staring at my cleavage from the driver’s mirror. And, secondly, Liza practically had phone sex with her boyfriend, who was going to meet us at the party. I stared down at my phone the whole time, rereading Kiri’s message and the ones he sent afterward. It was true, he was wrapped around my finger. He didn’t double text; Kirishima sent five messages in a row.

Hey, are you free tomorrow? I wanted to talk about yesterday.

I’ll buy you that weird thing you like from Starbucks.

The drink you said that tastes like the moon.`

And I’ll get you those cake pop things.

My heart couldn’t help but flutter; I didn’t know he was paying that much attention to me. I only mentioned that Starbucks drink once in his presence, quite a while ago. It had to be a little over a month ago, yet he still remembered.

The car stopped and Liza popped right out. Her 34 inch Brazilian, straight swaying behind her as she closes the door. Still chatting with her boyfriend, she motions me out of the car with an eager smile. Reluctantly, I detach myself from the cool leather and tug on my dress as I closed the door behind me. I looked up toward the mansion before me, white paint and overwhelming size almost frightened me. But, when I saw a familiar, spiky-haired, redhead, all my potential fear left my body and warmth replaced it.

Kirishima’s back was to me; he was having an intense conversation with his best friend, Bakugo, one of the team’s Linebackers. The blond was so close to popping a fuse but Kiri was struggling to keep from laughing directly in his face. I approach the porch, slow and sensual, my eyes glued to him the entire walk over. Kirishima briefly turns around to address a comer of the group, Sero, an offensive player, when his eyes come up the steps. The humorous expression on his face drops and is replaced with awe. The other two boys look in the direction of his eyesight and replicate his reaction.

“Hi—” I lifted my hand to wave, but it never made it past my abdomen. Liza appeared right in front of me and captured my wrist.

“Girl, it’s our song! Hurry up!” She said as she proceeded to drag me into the house.

“Bye—! Wait, damn!”

Liza pulled me to the makeshift dance floor in the middle of the living room of the home. She starts to bop side to side, swaying her hips in place. It takes me a few seconds to register that “34+35” was blasting the speakers. Liza twirls around me in a fit of giggles and continues to bop along to the music.

“I thought you liked “positions” better than this track?” I questioned as I matched her rhythm.

“I do! I just had to get you out of there,” Liza answered as she swayed her head back and forth. Which made her hair move in an angelic wave behind her bandeau top and pencil skirt. “Those three guys looked like they wanted to run a train on you.”

“ELIZABETH!!!!” I screamed with a shocked smile.

“What?! I’m not lying!” She gives me a bashful smirk. “You look so good, mamas! Shit, you're making me rethink my relationship with Shinso.”

“Oh my god!” I laughed. “I can’t take your ass anywhere, for real!”

The song began to fade out and bleed into “Pussy Talk” with the infamous City Girls. Liza’s soft bops began to move into full booty bouncing. Soon her hands are on her knees and she’s throwing her ass back on my lap. I press my hand flat on her back and lift my other hand in the air. She whines her waist and looks back at me as her inner hot girl is threatening to make an appearance. Shortly after the first verse, Liza straightens her back and dances around me as I bop to the side, bouncing my ass to the music. A smile comes to my lips as my favorite part plays on full blast.

“Pussy talented, it do cartwheels,” Liza and I screamed in unison. “And he pay ‘cause he like how that part feel.”

“Pussy give speeches, heartfelt,” I continued, popping my back against my friend.

“Yuh,” Liza ad-libbed.

“Said the pussy really talk like it Garfield,” I rapped as I felt Liza’s hands glide up my sides.

“It do!”

We danced around each other for the rest of the song and pulled away from the floor, desperately needing to hydrate. We practically stumbled toward the makeshift bar across the living room. We reached into the cooler and pulled out two bottles of water. We chugged the water and tossed the empty bottles in the trash.

“Only water, ladies?” Mineta asked as we turned back towards the dance floor. “You don’t want something a little. . . stronger?”

“Get lost, grape juice,” a familiar voice suddenly came out of nowhere.

Just a few feet behind the purple blob stood Kirishima and Shinso. If looks could kill, Mineta’s body parts would be staining the marble floors and messing up my fresh pedicure. The poor excuse for a human scurried away as both football players approached us. Shinso instantly wrapped his arms around Liza and planted a kiss on her forehead.

“Having fun, baby girl?” His low voice sounded sensual against the harsh music.

A seductive smile falls on Liza’s face. “I would’ve had even more fun if you actually danced with me for once.”

“You know I don’t like—”

“Too bad!” She pulled Shinso to the dance floor.

Leaving me alone with Kirishima. I turned to look at him and offered him an awkward smile. “How was your diving lesson?”

The redhead returned my smile and scratched the back of his neck. “So you did read me my texts? I was starting to think you were mad at me or something.”

“Not at you, per se,” I replied thinking of my words carefully.

“Then who were you mad at?” Kirishima closes the distance between us and puts a finger under my chin. He redirects my attention to his face and gives me a smirk.

He looked good and he knew it. He wore a simple white t-shirt and black ripped jeans. But, he paired it with a burgundy leather jacket and a Cuban link silver chain. He had a gold wristwatch on his left wrist and a simple chain on his right. And his cologne. . . it danced in my nostrils. It wasn’t too heavy or suffocating; you simply had to be close to him to smell it.

Kirishima was playing a dangerous game and he knew it.

“At the people that take you away from me,” I looked at him with doughy eyes and slightly parted lips. A look of innocence was written all over my face.

Kirishima clenched his jaw and briefly looked away. A blush starting to form on his cheeks. “Well, I—. Shit.” He remained silent for a few seconds, gathering his words, before saying “You don’t know what you do to me, Y/N.”

“And what’s that?” I asked while removing his hand from my chin and bringing it to my lips. I gently kiss his bruised knuckles, never breaking eye contact while doing so.

The redhead opens his mouth to speak but is rudely interrupted by a yelling Liza.

“GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE, BITCH!!!! THEY’RE PLAYING OUR SONG!!!!”

While I was talking to Kirishima, the music seemed to slip away. I had no idea what was playing until I refocused my attention on the blaring speakers. “Come on, Kiri. Duty calls.” I drag him to the dance floor.

Liza unlatches herself from Shinso and twirls around me. “I’m not shy, I’ll say it. I’ve been picturing you naked.”

“I’m a little faded, you look like a fucking painting,” I continue the verse as I glide my hands along my body. “Big doe eyes, amazin’. She’s everything I’ve been prayin’.”

Liza walked up to Kirishima and glided her hand along his chest. “Me and your girlfriend playin’ dress-up house.” She pressed two fingers against her lips and poked her tongue out. “I gave your girlfriend cunnilingus on my couch.”

Kirishima blushes a bright red, nearly matching his hair. It takes everything in me not to laugh.

I look back at Shinso and he’s just shaking his head with a smile on his face.

“Go get your girlfriend, before she devours your teammate,” I said giggly quietly.

“Go get your best friend before she kills your loverboy,” Shinso counters looking down at me with a smirk.

“He looks like he's gonna pass out,” I replied, struggling to contain my laughter.

“If you think that’s bad, you should’ve seen him when you were twerking on Liza,” Shinso jested while leaning closer to me. “Eijiro looked like he came in his pants.”

I smacked his arm and leaned against his chest. “You’re lying!” Laughter overcame my body; tears were gathering in the corners of my eyes.

“I swear to god,” Shinso struggled to say while laughing. “Then, when Bakugo called you hot. . . Eiji almost went feral.”

“Stop. . . I can’t breathe. . .”

“You better fuck him like the world is ending. . . I can’t keep stopping him from. . . fighting the entire team over you.”

“You and Liza. . . perfect for each other. . . I cannot. . .”

The song swiftly faded out into another. Yet another one of Liza’s favorites: Buss it by Erika Banks.

The young woman peeled herself from Kirishima and began walking to her boyfriend. I distanced myself from Shinso and walked over to Kirishima. I wrapped my arms around his neck and looked into his eyes. “Are you okay, Kiri?” A smile painted my lips.

His eyes darkened and he gripped my waist firmly. “I want you. . . so bad right now.”

“How about we get outta here?” I suggested with a raised eyebrow.

“Go say goodbye to your friends, I’ll bring the car around,” Kirishima asserted with a smirk. He pressed a kiss to my forehead before detaching himself from me and walking out of the living room.

I turned back to Shinso and Liza, who were seconds away from eating each other’s face off. I tapped the loving couple and cleared my throat. They both pulled away and stared at me.

"We're leaving," I said simply.

"About fucking time," Liza replied with a smirk. "You better come back to the dorm in a goddamn wheelchair, if not, I'm sending you back to his place."

"You have like zero chill," I shook my head and waved goodbye.

"Don't forget to use protection!" Liza yelled after me.

A chuckle fell from my lips as I walked out of the front door. I found Kirishima exactly where he said he'd be: parked in front of the massive house, within a bright red mustang. He exited the car and walked around to the passenger side of the vehicle. He opened my door and helped me get in. Kirishima made sure I was buckled in and comfortable before entering the car on the driver's side.

He starts the vehicle, and places his right hand on my thigh. He gives the plush fresh a securing squeeze before pulling away from the curb.

The drive was short and sweet, averaging around ten minutes. We parked across the street from the boys’ dorm hall and exited the car. Kirishima opened my door and helped me out of the vehicle.

"If you don't want this, I could always take you home," he said as he shut my door. "I don't want to pressure you into anything."

"I want this more than you know," I responded while gripping his hand. "But, if I ever feel uncomfortable, I'll let you know."

Kirishima nods and smiles. "Good girl. Now let's go."

The moment his dorm's door closed, his body was pressed against mine and his hand glued to my waist. His lips massaged against my own, slow and sensually. I moaned against the kiss, and pressed my body closer to his. He felt so good attached to me, almost like he was meant to be against me. His searing hot kisses inched down my jawline and to my neck. Kirishima's hands slid up my abdomen and to my shoulders, he slipped the straps from the curved surface and pulled away just enough just to allow me to remove them from my arms.

He kissed the other side of my neck, leaving little bites here and there. The redhead ran his tongue against my collarbones and I swear a flood rushed to my nether regions. Kirishima kissed down and left my breast, gathering the anticipation that swirled through my body before latching his lips on my nipple. A throat my moan fell from my mouth and my legs jolted slightly. My mind continued to fog as he nestled against the sensitive bud, while happily moaning against the soft flesh. I pressed one hand against the front door and another in his hair.

Pants left my lips as I began to squirm underneath his body. "Take me to the bed, please," I begged while looking down at him. " I want you so bad, Kiri."

The redhead detached himself from my breast and gripped my chin. "Say my name, baby." His red eyes stared deeply into my brown ones, taking in every little detail of my expression.

"Eijiro," I said breathlessly.

"Say it again," he broke eye contact and gripped my waist.

"Eijiro."

His hands slipped down the curve of my rear and to my legs. He lifted limbs from off the ground and wrapped them around his waist. I wrapped my arms around his leg immediately afterward and giggled.

He walked further into the dorm room and passed through another dorm. He sits me on the extra-long twin bed and falls to his knees between my legs. Kiri unlatches my strappy heel and tosses it to the other side of the room. While he does the other foot, a smirk presses against his lips.

"What?" I asked while looking down at him.

"I'm just thinking about how this started," he said while smiling. "How my shifty grades gave me the best thing that ever happened to me."

"Stop it," I counter with a blush on my face. "You're exaggerating."

"Baby, I mean it with every fiber of my being when I say this," he leaned forward. "I've wanted to be with you for a while now, I just didn't know if you'd like me back. And I was kinda ashamed of taking so long to say something because you're so sweet and you really helped me a lot with Advanced American History. I didn’t want you to think I was using you for information or anything."

I leaned forward and pressed my lips on his forehead. "I liked you even before I officially knew you. When you beat the shit out of that guy that tried to home a drunk girl."

"I don't even remember that."

"It was during a Halloween party last year, that was when I first saw you. And I thought, "wow I wish more men like him existed in this world"."

"I can't believe you remember that."

"How could I not? You basically saved that girl's life and dignity. You were the only human being in a room full of predators. That's when I knew I wanted you for myself."

Kirishima laughs. "Greedy, little Y/N."

I shrugged.

"Come here."

I gathered the football player into my arms and pressed my lips onto his. Taking in every ounce of his kiss. Sucking on his bottom lip. Slipping my tongue within his mouth. Tugging against his collar to close the distance between us. After a few seconds, Kirishima kissed down my body again until he was face to face with my heated center. He scrunched the dress around my waist and pulled my panties off my legs before spreading my legs wide open.

"Oh… look how wet you are, baby," he kissed the soft skin in between my thighs. "All for me."

Kirishima dipped his head between my legs and took a long swipe at the sticky mess between them. A shiver ran along my spine, Arching my back, I released a soft whimper and spread my legs further apart. He dipped his tongue into the smooth canal repeatedly, bobbing his head as he completed the action. His calloused hands slid up my legs once more and hooked around my thighs. Kiri moved his hot mouth from the very bottom of my womanhood to the top, leaving a long string of spit along the way. The redhead sucked on the protruding bud tenderly; with hollowed cheeks, he looked up from my heat and stared into my eyes. I bit my lip and moaned loudly.

“Fuck, you feel good,” I arched my back against his mouth and bucked my hips slowly.

Kirishima released my bud with a silent “pop” and began lapping the rosy, pink button in great haste. My legs jolted at the new source of stimulation and a throaty whine fell from my lips. Squeezing my eyes shut, I squirmed underneath his mouth, desperately wanting to add more friction. Kiri noticed my slutty movements and began to move his tongue even faster.

“Ah. . . just like that, don’t stop,” my fingers gathered my bosoms and gave them a firm squeeze. The walls of my slick cave began to clench and release themselves at a faster pace. Tingles rose up my body, swirling against my lower abdomen, almost numbing my lower half entirely. Then, a searing sensation ripped through me, causing my hips to raise from the bed and my knees to shake. A low scream left my mouth as I felt the throbbing of my bud increase tremendously.

“Oh fuck! Oh fuck! Oh fuck!” My hips fell on the bed again and my legs shook violently. Kirishima steadied them as much as he could before a whole another wave hit my body and my entire being went still.

“Ah! Eijiro!” I screamed as the pleasure shot through my body for the last time. Pants left my throat and short spurts, just as sweat dripped from my forehead. I looked down at Kirishima, who had just pulled away from my spasming cunny. He had a look of astonishment on his face, as if he couldn’t believe his eyes. He looked down at my wrecked body, taking in the shaking limbs, the thin layer of sweat upon it, and the scrunched-up dress at the waist.

“You sounded so hot screaming my name,” he finally said after a few seconds of silence. “No one has ever made it sound so good as you.”

“Well, grab a condom and I’ll scream your name for the rest of the night,” I replied with a smirk. “If you can last that long.”

“Oh, baby,” Kiri’s smile widened. “You have no idea.”

He walked over to his dresser and pulled out a box of condoms from the top drawer. He ripped one off the sleeve and walked back over to me. I pulled the scrunched-up dress over my head and tossed it to the side. I looked over at Kiri and he’d already stripped himself of his T-shirt. He was currently unbuckling his belt with the condom packet in his mouth. His massive bulge immediately caught my eye and I moaned in anticipation. Kirishima rips the packet open with his teeth and rolls latex down his throbbing shaft. My walls clench at the delicious sight and I could feel my nipple begin to stiffen

“If you’re still tired, we can wait a little—” Kirishima begins to say before I cut him off.

“Eijiro, stop being nice and fuck me like a slut.”

His lips were on mine within the next heartbeat. His hands roamed every crevice of my body, taking in the soft tissue and stretchmarks lovingly. His throbbing member slowly slid into me with little to no friction. He made sure to thumb my clitoris while inserting himself, just so he wouldn’t hurt me. And I swear, I was seconds away from asking him to marry me. He gently moved his hips backward, and then pushed forward again. Highlighting his first stroke. He looked at the crimson hue on my face and leaned down to kiss me.

“You are so pretty, princess,” Kiri groaned softly, as he moved his hips at a gentle pace. “So, so pretty.”

I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him again. Our tongues danced together as his member tenderly kissed my sensitive walls with each thrust. Kirishima moaned against my lips, as he took in every part of that union. He hiked up one of my legs and hooked it around his waist while he cradled the back of my neck with the other. He looked into my eyes as he increased the pressure of his strokes and their depth. My mouth hung open, and drool poured from the side of it as he kept up the sickening pace. My eyes began to roll back as throat moans rose from the depth of my body.

“Oh God. . .” I slurred as the pleasure increased within my body.

“Aww look at my pretty baby,” Kiri grunted as he rested his hand on my neck. He pressed his thumb between my lips.

I sucked on the digit and looked into his eyes. He moved his hips faster and my lips separated from around the finger. Pants fell from my lips as I felt his member sensually assault my cervix. After a few minutes, Kirishima suddenly pauses and hikes one of my legs up to his shoulders. He readjusts his body, leaving his hand on my neck and placing his hand on my clit. Kiri began to rock his hips in a powerful, but steady motion. He rubs the throbbing bud in a gentle motion, slowly gathering every ounce of pleasure within my body. The pace of my breathing increased rapidly, as the pool in my stomach began to inflate. Whimpers fell from my lips as I gripped the sheets underneath me.

“I’m so close. . .” I whispered through tight lips. “Please don’t stop. . .”

“You’re squeezing me so deliciously tight, baby,” Kirishima grunts as a droplet of sweat drops from his brow. “Milking my cock for everything it’s worth. What a greedy little cunny you have.”

“Eijiro. . . I wanna cum so bad,” I whimpered through pants. “Please let me cum, baby.”

Kirishima curses under his breath and releases his hand from my throbbing bud. He places both hands onto my neck, thumbs pressing against my jaw. He eases his body forward and keeps his sickening pace. “You’re gonna be the death of me, I swear.”

I sucked in a breath and wrapped my hands around his forearms. I furrow my brows and pant with my mouth open. “You make me feel so good, Eiji. So fucking good!”

“You’re mine, you hear me?” He drops his hands from my neck and presses his forehead to mine. “You don’t get to fuck anyone else. . . . .You don’t get to be with anyone else. . . .My name will be the only name you moan for the rest of your life, do you understand?”

I nod. “I understand.”

“You’re mine and no one else's.”

He pulls me into a searing hot kiss. Drinking in all the love and energy throughout my body. I hook my arms around his neck and moan against his lips. Suddenly, I felt an intense rush of adrenaline pass through my body and everything seemed to go silent. A low ringing noise sounded in my ear as my mouth fell open. I dug my arms into his back and clung to his body. Every fiber of my being tensed and my mind went completely blank for several seconds. Then, slowly, my body released itself and collapsed onto the bed. I opened my eyes lazily to see Kirishima’s eyes tightly closed and his hips slightly shaking. Once he finished his ride, his body relaxed and he lowered my leg from his shoulder. He pulled me into an embrace and pressed another kiss onto my lips.

I pulled away from the kiss and looked into his crimson eyes. “Were you serious about calling me yours?”

“Ugh. . . yes?” He replied hesitantly. Then, he added “If that’s okay with you! I don’t wanna force you—”

“I wouldn’t have it any other way,” I cut him off with a smirk.

“Oh, I was worried for a second.”

“The only thing you should be worried about is your Advanced American History grade.”

“Oh, right. . .”

“You miss another one of my sessions, I’ll ignore you again.”

“Please don’t! I will be present at every session.”

“Good. And you have to be Starbucks.”

“The drink that tastes like the moon?”

“Matcha latte with 2 pumps of chai. Yup.”

“And two chocolate cake pops.”

“Mhm. You know me so well.”

849 notes · View notes

josephkitchen0 · 7 years

Text

How to Repel Rats, Mice, Skunks, and Other Interlopers

By Cheryl K. Smith – We’re not the only ones that want to spend our time indoors. Rats, mice, skunks, and other furry interlopers are busy finding their way into houses across the country and setting up housekeeping. They are also interested in cabins and other buildings that are closed up and unused during the colder months of the year. Now is the time to learn how to repel rats and other interlopers.

Sharing living quarters with these trespassers can be an annoying, destructive and unhealthy experience. Being nocturnal, these critters are busiest at night, as they go about finding food, gnawing and scratching at walls, or just running around. Anyone who has ever had a rat or rodent in their attic or wall knows what I’m talking about.

Ice Storms, Power Outages, Blizzards... Are you ready?

Let our experts help you prepare for the worst. Start your emergency preparation by downloading this FREE Guide. YES! I want this Free Report »

These pesky creatures will attempt to create new passes or widen those that already exist, chew up valuables, and contaminate food. They will store food throughout the house. They will multiply quickly, adding to the problems they have already created.

The damage caused by these critters goes beyond annoying and unsanitary. They can not only gnaw on walls but can chew through electrical wires, even leading to house fires. Different mammal trespassers present different problems, so they require a variety of strategies for prevention and removal.

Common Problem Animals

Rats

Several kinds of rats can wreak havoc in a home. These include the Norway rat, the Roof rat, the Wood rat (also known as pack rat, because of its propensity for collecting and storing items) and the Black rat. The Norway Rat is the most common of house rats and is found all over the world.

The first thing you need to know about how to repel rats is what attracts them. Although rats will eat anything, they are particularly fond of dog food, fish, meat, and cereal. They also are extremely destructive, and have even been known to chew through plastic and lead pipes. They need only a half-inch opening to get into a structure.

Mice Mice are similar to rats, only smaller. The same tactics you learn for how to get rid of rats can also be used for mice. One key to determining whether a house is infested with mice or rats is to check their droppings. The droppings of mice are much smaller than those of rats.

Unlike rats, which eat a lot at one time, mice are nibblers. They also like quiet nesting places, which they line with insulation, cloth, and shredded paper.

Male mice are territorial and mark that territory with urine. They need only a 1/4-inch opening to get into a structure.

Mice and rats multiply rapidly, contaminate food and food-storing surfaces with their urine and droppings, harbor fleas and mites that can infest the house and family pets, and carry disease. Hantavirus is spread by mice, particularly in the southwest U.S. and bubonic plague is carried by the fleas that infest some rats.

Skunks and Opossums Most people rarely encounter skunks or opossums, other than as road kill. However, these nocturnal animals have been known to make their sleeping quarters under houses or in crawl spaces. Skunks may be striped or spotted, and are members of the weasel family. They are a nuisance, mostly because of the foul odor they expel when frightened or excited. On the other hand, skunks eat rats, mice, and other rodents, so at least a skunk is one answer to how to repel rats.

Opossums are foul-smelling, unattractive animals that like dog food and road kill. Interestingly, they are resistant to rabies but are known to carry protozoal myeloencephalitis, a disease that is fatal to horses. Because of this, extra care should be taken to keep them away from horse barns.

Bats The bat is another creature that can both help and hinder humans. Because they eat mosquitoes and other bugs, they are essential to the ecosystem. They are not good roommates because of the urine and droppings they leave during their residence in attics and walls. Like skunks, they also are known to carry rabies and, in fact, are responsible for the majority of human rabies cases. During the winter months, bats that don’t migrate to a warmer climate will hibernate. If the colony is not large or noisy, some people never even know they are there or will allow them to stay in the attic or wall.

Squirrels

Squirrels, like other mammals, need a cozy place to nest and to give birth to their young. Attics and walls often fit the bill. While not known as serious disease carriers, they can be destructive and a nuisance.

Raccoons Raccoons sometimes will move into the attic or chimney of a house. They have sharp claws and can cause a lot of structural damage. Like squirrels, they are usually more of a nuisance than anything else.

Preparation and Prevention

The first step to learning how to repel rats and other interlopers is a little advance annual prevention. This can help to prevent unwanted creatures from moving in and sharing your living space. A good strategy is to try to think like the interlopers. Investigate the building you want to protect, looking for cracks and holes that look hospitable. Look in particular at the bottom and the top of the house.

For burrowing animals, adding wire to the bottom of the house is a good solution. Make sure to actually go into the ground with the wire. Remember that even a ¼-inch space may allow access. Attaching lattice around the bottom of a deck is helpful in keeping large animals out. Check for trails that lead to any entrance and patch holes. Double-check any lattice that was previously installed to ensure that these critters haven’t broken through in preparation for the winter.

A common entryway for animals is through the garage. They may start out by moving into the shelter made available by an open garage door and then, over time, gnaw their way into the walls or the home itself. One way to help prevent this is to avoid storing unused or summer items along walls that abut the house, so you don’t provide a cover for their activities as they work their way into the warmer house. Another is to annually organize the garage, discarding or recycling items that you no longer need.

Make sure that all holes to the outside or to the walls are covered or filled with mesh hardware cloth or something similarly strong. Some people have had luck filling holes with steel wool and then spraying in foam insulation to keep it in place. This method will last for a few years but has to be redone regularly, as rodents chew it away over time.

Attics are notorious for sheltering invading animals. Inspect the attic thoroughly for animal droppings (wearing a mask or respirator) and holes or other entryways where they can get in. Screen off trouble areas.

Remove overhanging branches and other vegetation to deter rooftop entry by squirrels and other climbing animals. Some experts recommend cementing pieces of glass along the edges of the roof to deter animals from coming onto the roof at all.

Look at cupboards and drawers indoors, especially where there is a history of rodent occupation. If necessary, purchase new plastic containers for foodstuffs. Trap any mice that may already have made themselves at home and clean the area well with bleach. Get a cat or two, if feasible, to help keep the outdoor rodent population down.

Store animal feed in the barn or other areas in stainless steel garbage cans to discourage access. Rats will chew through plastic garbage cans over time, particularly when they are located in an area that is out of the way and not checked regularly.

Eliminate brush piles or other junk near the house. Elevate woodpiles to make them less hospitable. Put up bat houses in areas where bats are prevalent. Clean gutters. Double-check the chimney and screen it, if necessary.

Eliminating Critters In Residence

Sometimes the first sign that there is an opening into or underneath the house is the animal itself. In that case, make sure to get rid of it before making repairs. Don’t risk discovering (by the smell of decay) that you have trapped an animal in the area you wanted to protect.

These trespassers can be removed in a variety of ways, from live traps to poisons. In some cases, elimination will be simple.

A friend of mine recently had a spotted skunk come into the house through the cat door. This door is located under a deck and enters the bathroom. The skunk had discovered that the cat food was served there. The solution, in this case, was easy: Remove the cat food and block the cat door.

If the offending animal is nocturnal and making forays out at night, close off the opening at that time. Be careful that no babies have been left, though, or the determined mama will dig or scratch in a new entrance to get to them.

With raccoons, skunks, and squirrels, some people have had luck with putting a light in the nesting area when the animal is out at night. This encourages it to stay out because the light makes the area undesirable for sleeping.

Poisoning

Poisoning is a common method of dealing with vermin of all types. It is readily available in supermarkets, drug stores, and farm stores. One problem is that it can be lethal to domestic animals and other animals it wasn’t intended for. Cats or other dogs may either ingest the poison or happen upon the body of an intruder that ate the poison. Another downside to this method is that even when the offending animal eats the poison, it may crawl into a wall and die, causing an offensive smell for a long time as it decays.

Various forms of poison bait are available on the market for those who decide to take this route. These include blocks, pellets, and seeds. Each rodent population is different in their preferences, so trying a little of each may be necessary before the animals are permanently eliminated. Try not to disturb the original habitat, or the rodent may move to another area. Continue to clean and sanitize the area where the poison is located and don’t forget to remove other food sources.

Kill Trapping

Kill traps are another option for how to repel rats and other interlopers. There are electronic, snap or glue traps to choose from. Electronic traps are made to kill rats and mice. They run on batteries and deliver a lethal jolt of electricity to a rodent that has entered.

Snap traps are the common spring-loaded traps that snap shut, killing the mouse or rat when it attempts to get the bait. This mousetrap has been around for a long time—it was invented and patented in 1894 by William Hooker of Illinois. Peanut butter makes the best bait for these traps. To avoid spooking and scaring the rodents away, consider putting unset traps out for a few days before baiting and setting them. The rodents will get used to the traps, even walking on them, and so they theoretically are more likely to feel safe going for the bait the first time it is put out.

Shortcomings of snap traps include that they are messy; rodents can become trap-shy if they set one off without getting injured, and they can be dangerous to children and pets that may get accidentally snapped.

Glue traps, or glue boards, are another method for trapping mice. They have a sticky surface that holds the animal that walks on it when they try to get to the bait. Many people consider these traps inhumane, because the trapped rodents may take a long time to die, frightened and starving to death.

Raising Goats for Dummies mentions a natural way to get rid of mice and rats that was developed in Africa. This solution for how to repel rats and mice consists of a partially buried bucket filled with six inches of water, a corncob and a thick wire. The wire is put through the corncob, and bent and pushed into the ground on each side of the bucket with the cob centered over the bucket. The corncob, which should spin freely, is coated with peanut butter. When the rat or mouse goes after the peanut butter, the cob rotates and the rodent falls into the bucket, ultimately drowning. Sometimes rodents will accidentally drown in livestock water buckets, as well.

Live Trapping

Live traps are the most humane way to remove most invading mammals. They come in a variety of sizes, to enable capturing a range of mammals from small mice to bobcats. They vary in price, depending on their size.

In most cases, people move the captured animal to a distant location after capturing. Be aware that state laws may govern the relocation of certain fur-bearing animals. In some cases, relocated animals have made their way back over many miles to their original location. Spotted skunks, for example, have a 150-mile range, returning to the scene of the crime is not out of the question.

Cleaning Up After Removal

After animal intruders have been removed, thoroughly clean the area where they took up residence. Wear long sleeves and pants, gloves, and a mask or respirator. Gently sweep up the debris or use a vacuum cleaner that has a Hepa filter. Animal droppings can irritate the skin and lungs and, in some cases, cause health problems. Wetting droppings with a sprayer can help minimize breathable dust. Use bleach or another disinfectant to thoroughly clean the area.

Once problem areas are identified, animals removed and the location cleaned, take necessary steps to prevent them from getting in again. When doing the annual pre-winter prevention check of the house, make sure to focus on prior problem areas. These crafty animals know where they succeeded in the past and won’t hesitate to investigate and attempt to get in again.

Trespassing animals can be a nuisance or even a serious safety and health risk. The first line of defense is to prevent them from taking up residence in the first place. Those of us who live near the woods, or in another setting that we share with wildlife, may find it impossible to keep out all interlopers. Taking the necessary steps to prevent them from getting in, remove them when they do move in, and clean up the area when they have been eliminated, can minimize problems.

Trapping & Releasing a Skunk

Items needed: • Two sheets or large blankets • A brick or other object to hold open the trap door • Leather or canvas gloves

Tips For Keeping Unwelcome Animals Out of Your Home

• Keep your property clean. Remove food, trash, and debris, especially around the house’s foundation. • Keep trash cans covered tightly. • Cut back tree branches and other plants that touch or overhang your home or other buildings. • Stack firewood off the ground; store it away from the house, if feasible. • Keep bulk pet or livestock feed in closed metal or plastic containers. • Feed pets indoors or give them only the amount they need for that meal. Dispose of leftovers each night. • Seal all gaps and entry points. • Check for and remove or repair structural damage such as dry rot. • Look for holes where roofs overlap. • Keep gutters clean. • Rotate stored items regularly and keep boxes tightly sealed in plastic bags or containers. • Keep food preparation and storage areas clean and free of crumbs and grease. Use bleach or another disinfectant for cleaning. • If you have a chimney, consider installing a cap or wire mesh covering to prevent entry. • Install ¼-inch wire mesh (hardware cloth) over attic, roof and crawl space vents in order to prevent the entry of mammals and birds. • Provide bat houses for bats.

What would you add to this guide to how to repel rats, mice, skunks & other interlopers?

Cheryl K. Smith is the author of Goat Health Care and Raising Goats for Dummies. She lives in the woods and has had a variety of animals try to take up residence in her home, including opossums, spotted skunks, mice, packrats, and Norwegian rats.

Originally published in the September/October 2011 issue of Countryside & Small Stock Journal and regularly vetted for accuracy.

How to Repel Rats, Mice, Skunks, and Other Interlopers was originally posted by All About Chickens

0 notes