#they knew EXACTLY what the game needed to be abd how it needed to play and its incredible

[mochapanda]

actually #1 gaming development philosophy if your whole mechanic can be cheesed by giving more or less of a consumable its a bad mechanic

[fanfics4all]

Something Good From Something Bad

Request: Yes / No Yeah can i get uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh one friends to lovers Reggie x female reader during s3e5 when reggie reveals his black eye and reader freaks out and is wondering why no one else cares and she abd Reggie leave and he's all like "why do you care so much" and the reader suddenly confesses and then just a lot of fluff ensues? @southsidehufflepuff

Request are closed <3 Have a nice day/night

Reggie Mantle x Fem!Reader

Word count: 1520

Warnings: Nothing

Y/N: Your Name

Y/N/N: Your Nickname

PLEASE DO NOT STEAL MY WORK, I WORK HARD ON MY FICS AND IT’S NOT COOL TO STEAL SOMEONE ELSE’S WORK!

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Masterlist

(Not my photo, credit to whoever made it!)

Nothing can be normal in Riverdale can it? Jason Blossom was murdered by his own father, then we had our very own serial killer The Black Hood, and now this weird game is plaguing our town along with the Gargoyle king. Which brings us to today. Betty had asked Josie, Kevin, Reggie and I to meet her in the Blue and Gold office. She said there was something she wanted to tell us. Once we got there she told us about what our parents did in high school, how they played the game.

“Hold up. You’re telling me that my mother was a rule breaking, anti apartheid activist in high school?” Josie asked. She told us how our parents were pretty much the opposite of what they are today.

“And that she and my dad were together back then?” Kevin added, Betty simply nodded.

“I don’t buy it.” Reggie said and I nodded.

“There’s no way my old man hung out and did like cosplay with a group of lameass nerds.” He said.

“Yeah my mom for that matter, minus the offensiveness.” I said, I loved Reggie and he was my best friend, but sometimes he could be a bit rude.

“Okay it’s true guys.” Betty said.

“And you want us to find out, what exactly?” Josie asked with a sigh.

“My suspicion is that whoever was running the game back then is running it now. Which is why we need to stop them before things get any worse.” She said and Josie and I couldn’t hold back our scoffs.

“Wait, what are you trying to say?” Kevin asked.

“That one of our parents might be responsible for what happened to Dilton and Ben?” I said shocked.

“Maybe, and that’s why you can’t tell them that you know about their Midnight club. Okay? You have to be careful and subtly when you ask them what they know.” She said and we all just stared at her.

“Alright, fine.” I said and everyone looked at me.

“I’ll ask my mom what she knows about this stupid game.” I said.

“You can’t be serious Y/N/N!” Reggie said.

“Look, no offense Betty, but if it shuts you up about this dumb game then fine I’ll ask.” I said and everyone sighed.

“Fine. Me too.” Josie said.

“Yeah, I’ll ask my dad.” Kevin said and we all looked at Reggie.

“Alright fine.” He said and I gave him a small smile.

“Great, thank you.” Betty said. We all left the room and went on with the school day. Once the day was over I went home and luckily my dad was at work and my mom was the only one home. I walked into the kitchen and saw she was baking cookies.

“Hey mom?” I asked putting my books down.

“Yes dear?” She asked putting some cookies on the cooling rack.

“I wanted to ask you about Griffins and Gargoyles…” I said and she dropped the spatula she was using on the counter.

“You’re not playing are you?” She asked.

“No, I’m not into that sort of thing.” I said, her sudden change in behavior made me think about what Betty had told us.

“Then why are you asking about it?” She asked.

“Because I heard that Alice Cooper played it in high school and I know you’re friends with her and were good friends with her back then too.” I said and she spun around to face me.

“I have never touched that game! Whatever you heard from her mouth is false!” She said annoyed and my eyes widened.

“Okay…” I said carefully.

“Now, go up to your room and do your homework!” She said and turned back around to the cookies. I grabbed my stuff and rushed up to my room. That was the weirdest thing ever.

The next day at school we all met Betty in the Blue and Gold office once again. I couldn’t stop thinking about my mother’s weird reaction to me mentioning it. It was very obvious she was hiding something, but there was no way I was going to get it out of her.

“So they said nothing? Admitted nothing?” She asked.

“All they did was lie and act like they didn’t know about G&G.” Kevin said.

“Bury the lead Kevin, They also announced they’re getting married!” Josie said in shock. Kevin pointed to her and slightly nodded.

“Seriously, as what? A smoke screen?” She asked.

“No clue.” Josie said with her head in her hands.

“My mom freaked out on me a little, thought I was playing the game.” I said.

“You think those were crazy reactions…” Reggie said and took off his sunglasses. I gasped when I saw the black eye he has.

“This is what I got when I asked my dad about that stupid game.” He said and everyone sighed. I gently placed my hand on his shoulder.

“Why are our parents being so cagey about something that happened 25 years ago?” He asked and we all looked at Betty.

“Yeah, what aren’t you telling us Betty?” I asked. Before she could answer Veronica walked in.

“Guys, whatever this is, it has to wait.” She said slightly panicked.

“What’s wrong V?” Betty asked.

“I saw Archie.” She said and we looked at her shocked.

“He’s caught up in some diabolical teen fight club and I need to break him out of juvie before he dies or kills somebody. And you all have to help me.” She said. We all agreed and she said she would text her when she has a plan. Betty left to go find Jughead and Kevin and Josie left to go deal with their parents news. I walked in front of Reggie and looked at his eye. I gently touched it, he flinched back a little and I pulled my hand away.

“Come to my place, my parents aren’t going to be home tonight so you can stay over if you want.” I said and he looked at me with a smirk.

“Trying to hook up with me Y/N/N?” He asked and I rolled my eyes.

“You wish.” I said giving him a smirk back.

“Let me just help fix up your eye.” I said and left the room. He soon followed and we were at my place in no time with his car.

“Sit on the couch, I’ll be right back.” I said and went into the kitchen to grab an ice pack. I walked back in and gently held it to his eye.

“This should help that swelling go down.” I said and he pulled my hand away.

“Why do you care so much?” He asked. I bit my lip and looked down at the ground.

“Because we’ve been best friends for so long now…” I said hoping he would buy it.

“That’s not the only reason.” He said and I sighed.

“Reggie… just forget it.” I said standing up and went to go to the kitchen to make us something to eat, but he grabbed my arm and stopped me. I wouldn’t look at him, I knew if I did everything that I’ve held back would spill out.

“Look at me.” He said quietly and I shook my head. He gently pulled my arm and spun me around to face him, we were so close and I could smell his cologne.

“Reggie…” I breathed and his dark brown orbs stared down at mine. I couldn’t help myself, I wrapped my arms around his neck and leaned up till our lips connected. He was shocked at first but soon enough his hands found my waist and he pulled me closer. He licked my bottom lip trying to deepen the kiss, but I pulled away. What I just did hit me and I quickly got out of his grip. I started at him with wide eyes and bit my lip.

“I-I’m sorry Reggie! I shouldn’t have done that, but I couldn’t help it and I just- I’ve just had feelings for you since we were in middle school, and I’ve always dreamed about kissing you and I-” I was cut off by his lips on mine again. He slowly pulled away and looked down at me with a smile.

“You’re always so cute when you ramble like that.” He said, his warm breath fanning my face.

“I thought you would never love an asshole like me, so I never tried.” He said and I looked at him shocked.

“You’re not an asshole Reggie, a little rude and sometimes you don’t think before you do something, but you’re not an asshole.” I said and his smile grew.

“You’re too good for me Y/N/N.” He said and I smiled.

“I love you Reggie.” I said and he pecked my lips.

“I love you too Y/N.” He said and pulled me over to the couch. He wrapped his arm around me and I rested my head on his chest.

“Be mine?” He whispered in my ear and I looked up at him.

“I would love nothing more.” I said and pecked his lips.

Tag list: @les-bio-lie @tashy-bear @xrosesareredx @herokyolachan @ashwarren32 @hollie-blogs @schisbro87 @lover-of-books-and-teas @nerdygaloresposts @alex--awesome--22 @teenwolfbitches2 @genius2050 @drw0301bieber @pharaoh-of-time-and-space @marveloverdcsstuff @lady-of-lies @simonsbluee @hiya-imthatgirl @answer-the-sirens @mindsetjupiter @averysinclaire @mittelerde1999 @sweetest-peas @rousewriter @jjkingston @k-is-cray @camiconfessions @thecaptainsgingersnap @pettyjayy @cenyddtheunicorn @jacksxsouthsideserpents 

[indomitablemegnolia]

Cold, empty, hollow feeling echoes along my nerves as I replay a memory over and over again.  I never had any idea, I always disdained the ingénues in romance tales, the ones that would run panting after some said hero, I never wanted to be one, yet here I am.  My mind conjures life, himself, his pitying face, and yes every time I thought of that creased brow and the laughing smile I wanted to hit it, words echoed, I wished I had just left it with the dead thudding “oh.” Yes, oh, as in my mind is screaming and all my lips can utter is oh, but never knowing exactly when to speak and when to keep my peace I smile, as they say, smile even if your soul and heart are being shredded after being ripped from your body clawed and spit on, split and slashed, yes, always smile, but that didn’t keep my lips closed.

“Oh, darling Life, of all the lies you ever told me, I love you was my favourite, was it ever true?” I surprised myself my voice was light with only a small tremor no catch or watery undertone.

His eyes remained smiling his pity losing its edge, “No”

“So, all of those promised moments, those oaths of fealty, the times you said… forever… they were what?”

“Well I have heard that sometimes forever is just a second.”

“Kiss me, please.” I had to know the truth, no matter how cold it was.

“Just one last time, then I will go.”

“You have to mean it, can you mean it?” I closed my eyes, knowing what he was going to say.

“I never have before.”

“I loved you.”  I whisper, I turn my back, "how stupid;" stopping him before his lips could touch mine; I walk away, I walked away from him before he would walk away from me.  The overlapping voices inside me making such a ruckus that I thought the entire world could hear it.  The Pleas, 'don’t leave me', 'not like this', 'I need you', 'I love you', 'I always will'; then they all quieted as 'Goodbye' ricocheted through me. I didn’t look back, not until I knew he had turned to leave, it was a mistake but I watched the last of his shoulders turn as he slowly faded. I felt living slowly ebb in my soul, it would only be a short while before my heart slowly stops beating; the bitch when it is life who leaves...

In this world of wit and worry in this universe.  In this one there are few things so beautiful they arch eons after ever being seen or felt…swimming in the ocean while it rains; reading alone in an empty library; a childs smile; the sea of stars that appear when you are miles away from neon lights of the city; the dull ache of a bar after two am with the flavour of bourbon on the tongue; lost in the wilderness on purpose or by accident; all phases of the moon; the things we do not know, nor ever will about the universe… and You… yes you Life, watching your face while you let all the pleasure flow through your body is a glorious sight. I know that you’re sometimes conscious of me observing you. It can made you hold back maybe a little, I try not to let that happen. It inhibits you from fully letting your mind follow your body, but when I was able, when all was want and desire and need to prolong the ecstasy washing over us, my god, you’re a sight like no other in this world. This one in the innumerable possible worlds, those other worlds in the other universes. Though as magnificent as I knew this world to be, I also knew there would be one world where we, almost, just ever so might have been lovers soulmates friends. In this one it simply just wasn’t meant to be, Life, himself just couldn’t come to love me.

I can’t have you, Life. You are not here, and will never visit again, this is something I know. I long for arms that aren’t there and never will be. It’s a bad habit I’m getting used to.

I kept walking mindless, finally stopping when I was in my room sorting through my closet.  Life, he finally told me, he never loved me, and this was goodbye.  I ran through my stages of grief, at the end coming to the conclusion, that unlike a usual break up, this one is a final resounding call.  Logically, what happens when Life, himself, says goodbye, time is really running out.  I pulled out the dress I never had the occasion to wear, black satin empire waist beaded and beautiful.  I slide it on, smoothing my hair and smearing on my best lipstick.

I deal in concrete vagaries, delicious ambiguity, my mind scattered to the four winds. I am not exactly sure why, but my thoughts and emotions were now haywire, bubbling up through the broken cracks in my soul, dampening my creativity, confusing my words and sending me on a spiral. I am collecting my thoughts, my mind and the fly away flurries of my soul to have peace for just this moment. I tamp it all deep down into my soul and keep it held tight, this new agitating pain. I know this is perhaps faulty thinking and temporary. Perhaps one day it won’t just be temporary, perhaps someday someone is going to hug me so tight all the broken pieces of my soul will fit back together. Damn you Life, why couldn’t you love me back.

Since I was young, I have always known this: Life damages us, every one and I’ve fallen in love with him. No one can escape that damage. But now, I am also learning this: I did by my actions amplify it. Perhaps it can be mended. My breath becoming short, my legs weak, I shivered; Oh, if only, I had the time.

As I walked on this beautiful night I looked at the sky and wondered how many people feel the way I do at this moment. The icy chill had left as well as that empty echo, I was not resigned but in an odd way… Content but not pleased; happy but in a distant nostalgia; blessed but also very cursed; found but so goddamned lost; I was alive but just barely breathing.

As I walked near a lacquered black door the tinkling of soul pulled at me. I walk into the sedate bar, soft tune playing from a grand piano from the corner, a man with a stingy brim and white suit jacket tippled his scotch while he played some sentimental piece. The smoky smell of centuries hanging on the aged wood and leather, the lighting low with a blue/aqua tinge to it.  Sliding onto the stool I realize that I am still smiling; Oh that programming was so ingrained.  I ran my hands over the warm mahogany of the bar, feeling centuries play under my fingers.  I breathed in the atmosphere deep.  If there were a heaven it might have one of these in it.

The bartender, in a white shirt sleeves rolled up to the elbows and a black velvet waist coat, his head shaved smooth, his skin held a healthy shine.  His eyes the colour of onyx shined with an air of grace, “What’ll it be?” his voice was like honey; thick, rich, deep, his words gathering s delicate click to the end.

I thought for a single beat, “Cocktail du aviation.”

“Its been an age since I have had a call for that one.”  I watched as he built the cocktail.  A chilled metal shaker filled with ice, two jiggers of gin frosty clear, a jigger of Maraschino liqueur a lightly pink colour, a dram of Lemon juice and two Jiggers of Crème de violette a vivid dark purple. He affixed the top and began to shake it to the staggering waltz of the music in the background.  While shaking it for the last two bars he pulled a chilled martini glass out, tossing three cherries with stems into the glass, uncapping the shaker he slowly poured the concoction into the glass that instantly frosts over, the dark purple turning a frosty delicious spring scented nirvana.  He floated three flowers on the top, setting a napkin in front of me placing the glass in the center, resting a longer stemmed bloom on the outer edge.

I lifted the glass, holding it under my nose, breathing in something beautiful and fresh.  “J’ai plus de souvenirs que si j’avais mille ans.” I took a drink of the memory soaked libation.  I rolled the flowers around my tongue, the flavour exploding in my mind, in my mouth, opening my eyes I lick my lips taking in the quizzical look, a laugh escapes me as I let memories creep into my mind, I translated, “I carry more memories, souvenirs,”

“Than I should after a thousand years lived…” his honeyed voice finished with me.  “I knew what it meant, just not why you would carry that much weight?”

I shrug, and take another drink, feeling alive even for a short moment; my heart thumps hard, slowing.  Now that Life, himself has left me flat it is just a game of waiting. 

Softly the piano started a soulful tinkling.  A low baritone began to sing, I felt my heart stop. “Birds flying high, you know how I feel," I took a last shuddering breath; "sun in the sky you know how I feel.” I rocked softly to the melody, taking a long drink, tipping my head back, revelling in the flavour.  Warmth came up behind me, soft breath caressing my ear. Sighing I lean back toward him. 

Oh, Terminus I loved sparring with him, but I also love when he was there to hold my wounded heart.  There was a time I counted him as my arch enemy; now I know he is my only meant to be, now as his warmth calmed that chill from my bones. I felt him sit on the stool next to me, I could smell the sweet bourbon on his breath and in his glass.  I open my eyes and look into his reflected in the beveled mirror.  His heavy lidded green eyes spoke of past and future and promises that from him that never rang empty. He smiled the most exquisite smile, delicious enticing, wrapped in a memory, veiled by reality and tinged by my dreams.

How does one explain an unknowable without sounding unsound? That euphonious nonsound, not an absence of noise but nothing audibly distinguishable. That click that is felt abd heard through the whole universe, that moment when our eyes met, like the switch of a train track, transporting both if us for one miraculous moment, to what might have been or is it what will be? Oh, but it was there.

His voice, lilting, plush, tempting tintinambulation; the result, sweet butterflies rioting through the veins; producing goose bumps, as if the sound has come from just behind the ear, as a warm breath caressing the neck. The exotic feeling of an audible dark chocolate thrills the body, every collected nerve inundated with sweet richness, trailed with a dark bite. In contrast all listening feel the dangerous, opulent, decadence, something almost endemically naughty about the tone that the depth of the words as lush as they felt, were belied with their defined ordinary nature, turning to a sweet erotic rapture

I wanted just to sit next to him and listen to everything he could possibly say about anything ever because there was something about him.  Oh, Terminus, there was always something about you, about the tilt of your head.  I luxuriated in the tone of his breath passing over his lush tongue. It was just the beautiful happening of existence that there he was. I  don’t even know what we talked about, I just listened to the sound of his voice and to his deep sweet laugh and the sound of him softly listening to me.

His beautifully calloused hand carefully caressed mine; his soft caressing whisper, "I remember how seeing the shape of your mouth that first time, I kept staring until my blood turned to rain. Some things take root in the brain and just don’t let go. Oh, Time passes, but she smiles and it may as well have just stopped. Come, closer now and listen my love, I warned you, Life only cares for beauty, and health and dancing and happiness.  You and I will always be.”

“How do you move on?“ I whispered surrounded in that moment by memory.

“You move on when your heart finally understands that there is no turning back.” he looked into my eyes and I finally saw that love I had always craved.  “Do you know the most beautiful part to loving a guarded girl? When she lets you in, it’s not because she needs you. She stopped needing people a long time ago. It’s because she wants you. And that - that is the purest love of all.”

The bartender appeared topping off our drinks. The cocktail was still gloriously frosty, and his bourbon smelled heavenly on his breath  “Anything else you’ll be needing Set?”

“Not at all Charon, I think we are about done here.”

I nodded, “of course, I… Set,” I looked at the beautiful bartender nodding,“Charon, you are beautiful, and mix a hell of a drink”

“Was a pleasure Miss, this was the sweetest tour I have taken. Its not often the boss comes on the trip.”

I laughed, “Now feel foolish calling you Terminus.”

“It fits, it is what I am, but it doesnt have to be a battle, a horror. .. Oh, you used to fight me, now look, you see... We were meant to be.” He took my hand pulling me from my perch on the stool. Handing me my lovely purple concoction. Wrapping his arm tightly around my shoulders, god, he was tall.

He walked comfortably to the door I entered through, but instead of the street...

@pedeka @keeper0fthestars @writernotwaiting @iamhisgloriouspurpose @littletesla

[tumblunni]

Man, god, im just suddenly thinking about "ak/ur/oku" and like.. How the fuck did that even become such a huge thing in early 2000s fandom? Dear god so much early gay shipping in fandom was super unhealthy "sinful" bullshit made by straight people for fetishy purposes rather than genuine representation. But a/kurok/u was such a weird one because it was like.. Just globally accepted and never aknowledged to be problematic?? Man i still remember how lil 13 year old me didnt know there was anything wrong with it, like seriously when stuff like this becomes popularized it ends up sending bad messages to actual queer youth. Learning about your sexuality via the internet cos there's no sex ed irl for you, abd you end up stumbling into toxic fandoms before you have the critical thinking skills necessary to know that this stuff is bad and shouldnt be imitated. Like seriously one of the things i worry about EVERY NIGHT AT 2AM THAT KEEPS ME FROM SLEEPING is that stupid lil 15 year old me made a post on deviantart going like "are pedophiles really all bad? I mean it sounds like an illness. I mean maybe theyre just scared and they want help." Like im terrified constantly that someone will find that old thing and judge me as if i still believe that apologist crap, or as if it was actually an opinion i formed from a fully developed mind, rather than from a kid who (as far as i knew) had never met a pedophile, thinking about pedophiles in the abstract, while being influenced by fuckin pedophile-dominated fandoms and having NO IDEA. and of cooooourse i wanted to believe that i was mature for my age, i thought that was a compliment.. Uuuuugh...

Sorry, going a little offtopic there.

But anyway isnt it kinda weird how akur/oku was just.. Not even regarded as pedophilia? And when i was a kid it wasnt just me not understanding the gross parts of the fandom, i legit never thought axel was that much older than roxas. And it was one of the more popular gay ships cos at that point as far as we knew it was the only person axel had any sort of backstory with, and he cared so much about this guy that he was willing to sacrifice his life to help sora even when he knew roxas would never come back. At the time without further context it seemed like a reasonable assumption to make? And it wasnt until Days that i realized axel was intended to be an adult rather than a teenager, and even worse A LOT OF PEOPLE WHO MADE THAT SHIPPING ART KNEW THAT. Uuugh it was so gross in retrospect to go back and see all the clues i missed that these people were fetishizing roxas's inexperience and veey much writing him as underage. AAAAAAA!

Anyway im glad that shit is now recognized as shit and now we have canon evidence of this dude being old as balls. And honestly i love the relationship of him as a big brother/dad to roxas and xion a lot more, even though as a kid i was desperate for any kind of queer representation in kh. Like.. I never really actually liked the ship that much or felt any chemistry? I just latched onto a few bad writing flubs that could potentially be interpreted as Gay Evidence because i was SO damn desperate! Like i felt like i had to support all these gross abusive ships in fandom cos if i wasnt then i was being 'homophobic', i mean they were THE ONLY AVAILABLE OPTIONS, right? :( Its only now ive grown up i can see how wrong that was, and how people just used it as an excuse to make gross shit and get away with it. Like how in Black Butler all these 'yaoi fangirls' kept erasing the rarest of rare things, a canon trans woman, because 'its sexier if its gay'. Ughhhh. And seriously that discourse still exists for poor Grell, and there's still a lot of these shitty bigoted people pretending to be allies, but like seriously this was EVERYWHERE in 2005! And lgbt rights and even lgbt communities at all were way smaller and less available to the poor teenagers who really needed that positive influence while they were figuring out who they are. So man the abusive side of yaoi fandom was WAY more powerful, and wya more.mainstream, with barely any criticism. And the whole content of this fandom was creepy fuckin adults making pedo porn, and kids who just discovered they were queer and tried to headcanon their favourote characters as being like them. Fucking predator heaven! So yeh that ruined KH for me and definately made me scared of returning to Black Butler for almost a decade. And then i found out that the manga itself has none of that pedo shit and that one of the fandom's biggest abusive gay man archetypes was actually a trans woman this entire time, and just gahhhhh....

Also like seriously this is a tad offtopic but can we kill the anime trope of either everyone looking young or everyone looking old? Or creepy things where just one character looks the wrong age in order to fetishize pedophilia? I dont think kingdom hearts was one of those intentional ones, like i mean there's super bad shit where its like 'this 5 year old looking person is really 9000 years old/actually 18 and just hasnt had their growth spurt yet' (somehow its even more insulting when theres not even a magical excuse) Or the other way around and we have a character thats canonically underage but drawn looking sexually mature with big ol knockers so its somehow okay. The existence of those horrible things is why i end up feeling uncomfortable even seeing ambiguous ages as just a trope in completely innocent anime, yknow? Like in pokemon and digimon all the 10 year old protagonists are exactly the same height as all the adults, and all the female love interests for ash have to be early bloomers in terms of chest and hips, while notably Iris is the only one who actually looks her age and also the first non love interest. Its another reason why i prefer the new art style for the latest season, they make everyone look like kids and Lillie continues to look like a kid even though she's the main girl and has all the cute scenes with Ash. The girls even got very normal looking kiddy swimsuits in the beach episode! Why is that so uncommon, to find the bare minimum thing of underage kids not being sexualized at the beach??

Soooooo yeah, thats at least part of why kid me thought axel and roxas were within a similar age range. Like i thought roxas was maybe 16 and axel was 18?? Somehow?? I dont even know, kingdom hearts isnt even SUPER bad with the 'kids look like older teens,all adults look like age 20 at the most' anime syndrome. Its probably more because id been raised on games and anime that followed that trope, before i played kh. And as a kid you just dont really know the exact differences between 'old', like i mean i knew teenagers were tall and boys get a growth spurt, so somehow it made sense to me that axel could be the same age as roxas?? And man even if i knew he wasnt, i was barely educated at all about pedophilia and i didnt know the nuances of it. I just knew 'its bad for adults to marry kids' like man i was really behind the curve in general learning due to my undiagnosed autism and abusive parenting so like HERE'S 12 YEAR OLD ME NOT EVEN THINKING ABOUT THE SEX ASPECT. And i didnt know that adults in relationships with teenagers was bad too, or like 16/17 year old teens dating kids... I was so fuckin dumb... I really cant believe that not only did i believe stupid adults saying 'pedophilia isnt bad if you're non offending, its okay to make cartoon child porn as long as you dont physically abuse real kids' but also i somehow just DID NOT EVER REALIZE that axel was an adult and roxas wasnt even a goddamn older teen...

So yeh im making a lot of excuses for why my stupid younger self was blindly parroting bullshit, but im not trying to excuse how goddamn wrong and bad it was. I still wake up ashamed in the middle of the night for crapoy decisions i made as a dumb kid, and in terrified that some shreds of it might still exist out there on the internet and maybe someone else could read it?! Gahhhh! Seriously could i have accidentally helped spread that bullshit brainwashing to other kids? And seriously when people say this shit is harmless they just need to look at this, look at how being into problematic yaoi is such a common 'phase' for ACTUAL CHILDREN. Like its not fuckin NATURAL for kids to fall into this stuff, they do it because they dont know any better but the people making the goddamn founding blocks of the fandom are fuckin grown women fetishizing gay men or grown men fetishing lesbians. There's people who do know better who actually conciously decide that a/kurok/u is a good ship while knowing all the goddamn details of what it actually is and exactly what theyre supporting by shipping it. Ughhhhh!

So yeh fuckin Please Stay Safe In Fandom, Kids

And pedophiles have absolutely none of my sympathy, please ignore that goddamn shit i wrote as a little kid being fuckin groomed by a fandom without even knowing it.

This also applies a lot to the rest of LGBT+ aside from just gay shipping, like seriously it took me til age 18 to find any positive representation of trans people or even a proper explanation of what being trans is, yet before i was even 8 years old i'd seen a million 'lol gross man in a dress who gets sexual gratification from wearing women's underwear' jokes in kids shows. And when i was 12 i'd already been exposed to the fuckin hell of m/pre/g thanks to its prevelance of untagged n/sf/w shit in the kh fandom. And by age 15 i'd been exposed to pedophile apologists arguing whether child porn was okay if they only got off to that and didnt personally abuse that kid with their own hands. All of that shit but actually learning about homosexuality and gender in sex ed would have been 'too much' for someone my age...

God what a fuckin mess. Fuck im really really fuckin worried that any of my ignorant comments at those ages could have been read by other ignorant kids and contributed to that disgusting fandom atmosphere. Fuck i think about this so damn often im so damn ashamed of how ignorant i used to be yet i know the adult fuckfaces making pedo shit never reel one lick of shame any damn day of their life. I used to excuse their shit as an actual kid cos i just ASSUMED they would be ashamed and want to seek help! Gahhhh..

[xbarrjallenx]

Nevertheless

Pairing: Grant Gustin x Reader

Request: “Hey as you are taking request can you write Grant Gustin imagine where his girlfriend is a European tennis players and for that thet have lond distance and she injury abd hopibg he will come to meet het but cant and after some time she start playing again and she is having the game in the same place where he shooting first he thought he will come but he say he cant because he bussy but he bring whole flash actors to support her and he also introduced her to all of them.”

Word count: 1.623

A/N: Sorry if I took so long to post this. I was busy at school and I never found time to post stuffs. I am so sorry and I hope that I satisfied your expectations. If not, feel free to send some feedback. Thank you so much.

- G. x

P.S.: My requests are always open, but you have to bear with me because I take so much to write one. I hope you understand my situation. Thank you.

Links: Part 2

Warning: (Y/B/F/N) is Your Best Friend’s Name.

You were living in a great way and you couldn’t ask for more in your life, because you almost had it all. Yes, that’s right, almost. You had a place where to stay, you had enough food to live fair enough, you had your sport career and you’re a well-known European tennis player around the world, you had your loving and caring boyfriend Grant Gustin, who was a famous actor and he is known around the world too, because of the TV series, The Flash. In conclusion, you couldn’t complain of how your life was going. But this is the almost in your life: you and Grant had a long-distance relationship and you couldn’t help but envy those couples that lived together, that had each other in their times of need. It was a difficult situation to cope with, because you were both busy with your careers and you never had time to visit each other. Yes, you have always talked on FaceTime and you both sent messages each other, but it was not the same when the person you loved was not by your side. It was hard to wake up every morning and find the other side of your bed empty, maybe even cold. You remembered that one time when you were injured because you made the wrong move during a tournament and you had to do an operation in your right foot. That happening was the lowest point of your life because, first, Grant wasn’t able to visit you, not even for a short period of time, and you still can remember how your conversation on the phone went. “Love.” Grant said in a melancholic way. You could hear in his voice that he was heartbroken for what has happened to you and he was no help on making you feel better. “Hey babe!” You weakly greeted him. It was late in the evening and you just woke up from a long sleep during the operation. “Your mother called me and I heard what has happened on the news.” You started to recall everything that has happened moments before you were brought to the hospital and your tears started to stream down your face. “It sucks.” You tried to say in between of your choked sobs, you didn’t want to let him know that you were crying. “I know, babe.” He sighed. “And do you know what sucks even more?” “What?” You knew what he was about to say, you just knew it, but you were a masochist and you still wanted to hear it. “I’m too busy at work, love. I have new episodes to shoot, meetings with my managers, photoshoots. I’m sorry, babe, but I can’t go there to visit you.” You were disappointed and his news made you cry even more. Silent sobs escaped your lips and hot tears left their stains and burnt your cheeks. “It’s okay, Grant.” You pretended that it was okay. “I know that you’re busy.” You bit the inside of your cheek and tried to ease the pain that you were feeling. It was surely not okay that he’s not with you. You wanted him to be with you because you needed him, you needed him by your side, you needed his hugs, his kisses, his touch. You needed him, you needed Grant. “I’m sorry.” He said and you just nodded your head, as if he was able to see your response. “I need to go, babe.” You calmed yourself down and stopped crying for awhile. “Bye, thank you for calling.” “Oh, alright.” He answered with disappointment. “I’m calling you once again, okay?” “Okay.” You shortly answered. “Bye, babe.” You weren’t seeing his angelic and sweet face, but you knew that he had a smile drew on his face. “I love you.” “Bye. I love you too.” You quickly told him and you ended the phone call. You curled yourself in a ball and you let your resentments go by crying, luckily there was no one with you in the room. You just wanted to take the weight off your chest. And, second, you had to stop playing tennis for awhile and you couldn’t move that much. You had a plaster cast and crutches to support you for months. And there, you somehow felt useless. You didn’t know that a wrong move could’ve caused such a horrible happening. In short, the idiom kill two birds with one stone was right. But even though you had these difficulties, your relationship with Grant was growing stronger as ever. You were still together after months and months of not seeing, hugging and kissing each other and you both think that it’s your love for each other that bonds you together. You also started to play again and you started to go in tournaments once again. You gained your strength once again and you thought that it was great to be back into the line. In fact, today you were in Vancouver, Canada with your team to join an important game. You were so excited to arrive in Vancouver because you knew that Grant shot his The Flash episodes there and you thought that he could watch your match, but then another disappointment arrived in your way when he told you that his team was out of time and they had to go on with the shootings. This time, though, you got angry with Grant because it seemed like he doesn’t want to see you, but you also thought to yourself that you were being selfish because you knew that this long distance was killing him too. Even though you were dismayed and your head was full of negative thoughts, you still managed to win and to get through the next level. You were sad, but, at least, a great thing happened to you that day. Once it was announced that you made it through the next level, you ran to your team mates’ section to give them quickly a loving and thankful hug, you were so thankful to have them, of course. “Great job, beautiful.” A tall and slim man said while he was standing beside your best friend, (Y/B/F/N). You knew exactly who it was. His sweet wide smile and green happy eyes caught your attention, you knew him and you missed him so much. As you saw his beautiful face, you let your tennis racket fall on the ground and you quickly ran to him as he opened his arms widely. You wrapped your arms around his neck, tip toeing a little bit to reach him, and you buried your face in the crook of his neck. “I missed you, Grant.” You murmured as you enjoyed the scent of his perfume and the security his arms were giving you. “I missed you too, (Y/N).” He pressed his lips on your temple and, all of the sudden, you just forgot all of the disappointments he has given to you in the past few months. “You made me sad, did you know that?” You pouted your lips as you broke the embrace you’ve shared for awhile. “Surprise!” He smiled apologetically and you playfully slapped his arm with your right hand. “Hey, I just wanted to surprise you.” He defended himself as he caressed his arm, trying to take the pain away. “Thank you.” You sweetly smiled and you know that he missed seeing you that happy. “And I’m sorry if I let you down for several times now.” He looked at his converse as if they were the most interesting things in this planet. “I brought you some friends as a token of my apology.” “OMG!” You were exhilarated as you saw Danielle Panabaker, Tom Cavanagh, Candice Patton and Cisco Valdes behind Grant, smiling widely as they watched you and Grant reunite once again. “I love you, babe.” He laughed at your reaction and he introduced you to his friend proudly. “Congratulations, (Y/N). I am proud of you, but I know that Grant is prouder. He never shuts his mouth whenever it comes to you.” Carlos winked and Grant shook his head as he smiled at the ground, you knew that he was blushing. “He always misses you.” Danielle mocked Grant too, joining Carlos. “He always has a picture of you to stare at.” “Aw,” You were fluttered because of the nice words they have said. “I miss you too babe.” “You, guys, never shut up. Do you?” He rolled his eyes. “She needs to know what you do in the set, duh!” Candice butted in and the others have agreed to her. “Oh, I am Grant Gustin,” He changed the topic as he handed his hand out, ready to shake your hands. He didn’t like to be the centre of people’s attention. “your favourite character between these annoying people.” “Oh, shut up!” You playfully slapped his chest and you both made the group laugh, not even caring of the next match going on in the tennis court. “I love you so much, love.” He hugged you once again. “I love you more, babe.” He shook his head. “I love you most.” He contradicted you and you were about to say something, but he cut you off quickly. “Just shut up, (Y/N)!” He slowly grabbed your waist and put his right hand on your right cheek as he leant in to press a passionate and slow kiss on your lips. You then played with his locks as you reciprocated his kiss. Your lips locked perfectly and they moved in sync, despite the distance between you two and the months you’ve been away from each other. Isn’t it crazy how love can bond two people together? Nevertheless the long kilometres, the disappointments, the struggles, the difficulties.

[janineaswriter]

An Ode to HMV

I learnt everything I’d ever need to learn (and more besides) from my time at HMV - I started as a 17 year old Britpop obsessed, music snob and left many years later with such an appreciation and knowledge of all music in all its glorious genres. My interview in 1997 for a Christmas temp role included a quiz on music and film and when I finally reached my life goal of becoming a permanent staff member my induction involved filling out a binder full of information on music genres and questions that everyone in their 1st jobs had to answer in order to keep our jobs!

It didn’t matter that I didn’t like rap music, I could still hold a conversation about rap artists and recommend something to someone because I had read the HMV review or chatted to another staff member about music they liked, or even heard the clean version imports we used to get in. I could even offer an opinion on whether I thought Tupac was still alive and in hiding when asked by the two rap obsessed teenagers that would frequent HMV Middlesbrough every Saturday afternoon. Working in the Specialties (a fancy name for all music that wasn’t considered popular) department I made connections with the customers who loved this quiet space in the basement to browse the HMV Classics or Naxos collections and I’d choose the playlists based on who was in the department at the time - That customer looks like the kind of guy who would love this Kate Rusby album or Sarah Brightman album, let’s put that on! Saturday afternoons on the ground floor were dance parties, because that’s who was browsing the racks on a Saturday afternoon - people waiting for their Saturday nights to begin! We knew what would sell if people had the opportunity to actually hear it and so we played what we thought they should hear. I do believe all HMV shops did this when I worked there though it was definitely getting more uniformed by the time I left in 2008. Forget all you know about HMV being responsible for the first Beatles or Cliff Richard demo, HMV was the first high street shop you could buy the import versions of the first albums by Eva Cassidy, Eminem and Dido’s (sorry about that) and many more besides. It was a place for all people to come together and discover new things.

I still remember the pride I felt at being able to identify what customers wanted by their vague enquiries and some of those enquiries were pretty vague...”hey, I heard this song - get Frankie with me! Do you have it?” “My son wants this album, it’s by a rock band with a female singer. The cover is white with red marks on it” “I’m looking for a singer, Terry Wogan keeps playing her on radio 2.” I knew all those answers and many more.

We were also seen as part of the music community. I will never forget on the day Sinatra died the couple that came in to just talk about him with us. The man was in tears, describing about how much Sinatra meant to him.

80% of my current friend group worked at HMV at one time or another and for the longest time it really did feel like Empire Records... friends hanging out, playing music and getting other people to buy the stuff we liked. I wasn’t a retail worker, I worked at HMV.

And that’s just the music obsessive geek in me. I know all the movie geeks and games geeks who felt exactly the same way - it never felt like work even on Christmas Eve when you wanted to murder that last customer who just refused to fuck off so you could close up and get the store ready for the Boxing Day sales and still make it to the Irish pub for last orders.

I possibly got out in time - my last Christmas involved add on selling crap DVDs and the Paris Hilton CD onslaught (“yes, you only asked for 20 copies but we are sending 200 because we bulk bought so we can sell it for £10!” Music buyer, whoever you were at the time, you may have had my dream job, but I hope that had I been in it at the time I would have fought that decision from the management - I believe in Greenwich we sold no more than 3 and we sat on that stock for months to come. We were not alone.) I feel sad that the powers that be weren’t quick enough to react to digital music or online shopping. Can you even imagine if there had been an online store that was as knowledgeable and exciting as the in store experience? It would have kicked Amazon’s butt that’s for sure.

I feel even sadder that after the last administration scare nothing really seems to have been learnt. Still the cheap DVDs and CDs front of store, with the merchandise tat next to it. Abd yes the market changed but so did the customer. In my last year I got more questions about price matching than I did about artists or albums. But just because most customers stopped asking, it never meant HMV staff didn’t have the knowledge to help the few that did need questions answering. In a world where we have the answers constantly one click away, do we need to knowledge and range of product that HMV was famous for?

Just like Madonna, HMV stopped being ahead of the trends as it had been its entire life and actually found itself scrambling to keep up, desperately shredding prices and finally those knowledgeable people to save money. I hope someone saves HMV again but I hope they know how to make it essential again. Because it does feel in the past decades it became all about making a profit and less about the product required to make a profit and we know from Apple and its ilk that you can do both with the right management and the right vision.

[tumblunni]

AGH IM SO OVERWHELMED WITH LOVE FOR MY GYARADOS

His name is Allegro and he's a shiny i got on pokemon go abd i just got SO ATTATCHED to him cos of the way evolution works in the app. I feel like this is the first time i ever actually experienced the intended experience of magikarp, yknow? Like its supposed to be weak and take a lot of effort to evolve. But in later games simply levelling it up has become much easier and honestly it wasnt even very hard in the original. Just boring,cos you had to keep it in slot one and keep switching it out. Like its exactly the same as just training other pokemon but with a boring thing added. It feels like this poor magikarp doesnt have a part in its own evolution! But in pokemon go you have to catch 400 magikarps to evolve it and its a way more difficult challenge that takes potentially months of real time and encourages you to go out and explore more places to find them. And you can put the magikarp as your buddy pokemon and have it follow behind you to earn bonus evolution candies, so its really like youre earning it together!!!

So thats why im SO PROUD of allegro and i love him so much!! Also i was doing all this running around for magikarps back when i was in a very low mental health state and working on making progress. So i seehim as a personification of my recovery and a big kind happy friend who helped me through it! Going on more frequent walks each week did help a lot, and having this game as a goal was a great way to distract myself from feeling all anxious and awful and staying inside instead of following the doctors orders. And now im more able to go outside on long journeys without the game's help so i think maybe its time to transfer Allegro to the console games? Cos i can see him in full 3D and ride on his back through the ocean!!! Its a shame the latest game doesnt let you cuddle all of your pokemon though, only pikachu. But i can have him follow me everywhere on happy ocean trips and chat to him and just have a grand old time! And find out what his stats would even be in a regular game, lol. I mean even if i get unlucky in the transfer and he turns out to be the weakest gyarados ever i dont give a fuck cos I LOVE HIM! Oh oh oh and he could follow me around in real life again in a different better way! I got the pokeball plus controller so i can upload him into that and do the pedometer minigame exvept this time this one gives him levels instead of evolution. He's gonna be so damn powerful from my love!!!!

Oh oh oh and i think his personality is cute! I know gyarados's personality is supposed to be 'angry all the time' but i just picture allegro as a super calm and peaceful one. He's maybe not too outwardly affectionate but he loves you a lot, yknow? Like a kind of quiet and solitary cat whose way of showing love is just to hang out in the same room together and roll over on its belly to show its not scared of you. I think theres probably a communication difference like that with gyaradoses, theyre a mon whose way of being happy isnt as similar to humans as stuff like dogs or pikachus.so they get a bad rep of being evil and scary and always grumpy when theyre just trying to show you how they feel and theyre sad you dont understand. Like, maybe they boop each other with headbutts as affection and dont realise humans are so much weaker than them so it takes a while to learn how to boop their new friend softly. But when they just hear RARR RARR I AM PUNISHING YOU FOR BEING NICE theyre like ??? and learn to be scared of showing their affection. And then you call them emotionless for it!! And maybe theyre also like a mix of dogs and lizards? Like they lay around a lot being "lazy and bored" when really its just that they need to regulate body temperature when outside of the water by sleeping more hours a day than a human does. And they get yelled at for wrecking stuff arpund the house cos theyre trying to curl up in a shady spot and their bigness means they knock over the sofa. And they move around a lot during their naps cos they need to find cold/damp spot to go to sleep and then lay down half awake for a little while in a sunbeam to get energized to start the day. So of course theyre gonna be a bit fidgety if they dont have their own room with a specialized bed, and of cpurse theyre gonna sleep even longer if they get so exhausted finding a sleeping spot! And then i think theyre very hyper and playful when theyre awake and thats the real cause of their reputation as angry evilness. They just wanna play and they dont understand a lot of the human world and its all so small and fragile. Theyre not doing it on purpose!! Oh and i think maybe similar to scorpions theyre not actually dangerous because theyre aggressive but because theyre scared? Most venomous animals only sting you when they think theyre in danger of dying,cos they only have a limited amount of venom and wouldnt wanna waste it unless its necessary. But scorpions are easily scared of humans so they think we're murderous fiends if we just stand near them, lol! Its understandable cos i mean all they can see is a massive foot and some towering infinate shadow and feel all the quakes it makes in the sand as it approaches. People are spooky! So i think maybe gyarados are very curious critters and tend to get spooked by the stuff they stumble into, like that vid of emus poking the ball toy and running away screaming when it moves. And also gyaradoses can only investigate stuff by forehead bumps, taste and sniffing by wiggling their lil mustache antennae. All things that tend to look like OMG SCARY THING IS ATTACKING ME from a human perspective. Also theyre very big and evolve from something very small so they dont know their own strength! And everything looks so new and fun!

GYARADOS DEFENDER FOREVER they are just big fishie babies and i lovv they

Anyway anyway for Allegro i was thinking of a headcanon of my pokemon trainer sona going through the same stuff i did IRL? Like, an anxious adult who used to be a trainer as a kid but went through a lot of abusive parent stuff and lost their confidence and also lost all their belongings in the process of running away. So that led to trainer-me being all depressed and living in a small crowded town having a boring life and feeling like id never be good enough to start my trainer career all over again. But i find a sparkly fishie of cuteness in the pond and i keep him as more of a pet than a battler but through the power of his love i start taking him out on walkies and training myself to be worthy of being the trainer he needs, yknow? Like 'i hate myself but i cant stand anyone else hating themself'. Cos magikarp is the weak pokemon and maybe he heard humans all talking about that and he felt he'd never get a human friend because of it. Also maybe magikarps are like koi fish and they dont get their full colours until teenagerish age, so shiny ones are just regular orange for the first few years and he didnt even know he was special. And his specialness shined through as we were training together but i loved him even before i knew he was special, just cos he was such a kind lil guy!! And then he earned his big fancy sparkly evolution and now we fly majestically thru the skies on the power of self confidence~! Also similarly to how i got my baby photos back from finding my sister after all these years, trainer-me eventually got reunited with their childhood pokemon and now has eighty bazillion powerfulnesses again. And they all met allegro and they love thier lil bro and now we're going on a revisiting kanto adventure together and everything is great.

And i just think allegro is very kind and soft and peaceful and curls around everyone in a big hug when he goes to sleep and I LOVE HIM and he flies majestically and he really loves it after dreaming of it for so long. I named him a music word cos i was thinking of 'what would you call Splash if it was actually a powerful move?' Splash = jumping = ballet? So he is a graceful squiggly weird wind kite snake worm dragon koifish and i love him and i cherish him and HE IS THE REASON HE IS SPECIAL NOT THAT HE'S LITERALLY A RARE POKEMON. cos the rare coloured gyarados is a gyarados thats the same colour as a.magikarp! Its such a good symbol for the same thing you were self concious about being what everyone appreciates about you, yknow? I love him and he is peaceful and happy and shy and i bet if you hugged him it would be so weird cos its not like you often get to hug a fish that isnt wet. And i mean he's like a half fish half dragon? So it must be like a.lizard but with very prominant scale texture and a leathery whale blubber body or something. And big pointy elephant tusk teeth and the forehead horn thingie! I wanna cuddle him so much aaaaa

SO IN SUMMARY I LIKE MY BIG GRUMPLEFEESH