#they just got blown up fighting a dreadnaught in space

[fieldclover-leaf]

"life hack. become small bear"

"sometimes you need to be a bear with a jetpack"

"i thought i would gain more insight being a small bear"

-my partner playing an ewok in lego star wars. it is nye and we are at a bar and they are playing lego star wars. i love them so much

[star-veil]

Drabble #01

transferred from docs -- not proofread 

as it turned out, more often than not, bb-8 was right.

and more often than not, poe disregarded her warnings and assured her everything would be fine.

today was one of those days.

this should have been the first sign all was not well.

the astromech let out an uneasy burble, but the commander was far too focused on his console than her. "happy beeps here, buddy, c'mon," he muttered, reaching forward to flick a couple of switches and instantly his deflector shields flickered to life around the fighter. "we've pulled crazier stunts than this," yet there was unease hidden underneath false confidence.

that was, arguably, what kept poe alive. improvising, and hope, and pretending everything would be fine.

a warm voice cut through the open comm line, the tone of a chiding mother that made poe want to apologize profusely and never do anything wrong ever again. "just for the record, commander, I'm with the droid on this one." and in moments the adrenaline of the moment obliterated any logical and grounded thoughts.

"thank you, for your support, general." there was a respectful amount of sarcasm there. not enough to get him demoted, but just enough to get the point across that he didn't appreciate her pessimism about his plan.

pushing forward, the ship continued its path right toward an enormous star destroyer than occupied most of the stars ahead, the narrowing nose pointing directly at him- almost like a big arrow that said "look! a tiny fighter literally incomparable to your weapons! opportunity!" yet poe knew they would not shoot him down without hearing whatever it was he had to hear.

whatever it was.

haha.

that earned a dry chuckle from poe, which bb-8 inquired about, but he brushed her off with a little hum.

"happy beeps..."

black one pulled to a stop, and without a stroke more of hesitation, poe flicked open the radio wave with a single push of a button.

"attention. this is commander poe dameron of the republic fleet, I have an urgent communique for general hux." a sharp intake of breath as soon as the name left his mouth.

this was no time to get flustered- he reminded himself sharply- and blinked a couple of times before a voice came back- and it filled him with such an indescribable feeling.

not only was there a tinge of warmth upon hearing the familiar tone but what felt like an icy slap at the sharpness of the words it delivered.

"this is general hux of the first order,"

of course it was. in political affairs, it was not ‘love’, or ‘babe’, or anything of the like. it was general hux and commander dameron. and that felt cold.

"the republic is no more. your fleet are rebel scum and war criminals."

his hud lit up with the progress bar of his booster pod, and he was semi delighted to see it was charging with a rather slow pace. 

"tell your precious princess," hesitance. there was a little bit of a falter there. not inherently obvious, but every little change was evident to poe. any inflexion, any stumble over words. "there will be little mercy. surrender now and your people will be spared."

well, at least he tried. it was darling, hearing hux attempt to sway his mind. real cute.

a sly smirk crossed poe's features. beat.

"hi, I'm holding for uh, general hugs?"

"this is hux."

again, ‘cute’.

"oookay, I'll hold." even across ships, it was like poe could feel hux's fiery gaze burning into him in frustration.

"cut the games, pilot."

"aw, hugs, you're breaking my heart here." sparing a glance at his hud, poe noted he did not have much longer to speak with the general. too bad. "I really thought we had something special!"

he'd apologize later.

there was a really long pause there, and for a moment poe considered the chances he'd pushed a little too hard and his boyfriend was finally going to blast him out of the sky, but a stifled mutter from the comms put a wide grin on his face.

“fuck you, dameron.” 

“actions speak louder than words, general,” poe mumbled in response, giving a little shrug and earning a warning beep from his astromech. “but by all means, armie-”

a rapid beeping cut his attention as the bar on his hud began to blip rapidly.  before hux had a chance to go off on him with that satisfyingly frustrated tone, he slammed one hand against the activation switch and in barely seconds the ship was barelling off toward the dreadnaught to his starboard side.

the force was intense. as soon as the booster pod kicked into action, poe felt himself get thrown against the back of his seat as the space around him nearly warped into light-speed with the rate everything was flying by.

"woah, wooh," poe breathed quickly as the dreadnought straight ahead got closer and closer. as soon as he cut onto the ship's surface, the booster shorted and he grabbed the stick to regain control. "alright, takin' out the cannons now!" he shouted over comms as he pushed off.

bb-8 let out a string of excited beeps.

"let's do this, buddy.”

the cannons proved to be little to no difficulty to take out. with lightning reflexes and a hot trigger finger, poe was basically flying in debris. one explosion after the other blazed his path along the nose of the dreadnaught, a trail of metal and flame signifying his success.

for a moment, he considered taking a little flyby near the star destroyer, show off in front of the bridge for a bit. and under any other circumstances, he would've. but the resistance's life was on the line, so poe kept himself in check.

for now.

it'd only been a week earlier when he had begun analyzing the plans for this great ship. according to the general, they had come by the plans from several brave rebels.

he cut to starboard side, a jerking turn as the ship spun around on her axis and flared full speed ahead. squeezing the trigger with a white-knuckle grip, poe decided this shot was dedicated to those rebels. they'd given so much for this victory. the whole resistance had.

the cannon exploded in a burst of flames.

"you did it poe, now get your squad back here."

no-no-no-no.

he was so close.

not yet

in the heat of the battle, in what felt like the peak of the fight- everything nearly shut down. the drone of the pilots yelling over comms or the beeping of his astromech behind him, became one solid line of white noise.

sometimes he wasn't even aware of his own actions.

so when the general's frustrated voice simply ceased, likely as the result of a 'manual radio malfunction', he didn't question it and kept flying.

suddenly, there were no more surface cannons. through some kind of subconscious miracle, poe's pure adrenaline rush had brought the pair to victory once more with no casualities save for the damage he’d done to the first order battleship.

“tallie, start your approach!” 

he fell back into line with the blue and red squadrons, moving one hand to cut the engines to a trickle as he slowed down. fighters- defend the bombers. that was his job. 

bb-8 amped the engines back up as soon as the bombers reached the nose of the dreadnaught and poe burst forward. beneath his helmet, hair slick with sweat stuck to his forehead- hands slipped under heavily padded gloves. this was going to be tough.

the cobalt squadron, while useful, was incredibly prone to failure due to the fragility of the bombs carried. the ordinance crew was constantly on edge carrying the packages of proton destruction but bravely, the fleet carried them ever on toward the drop point.

pushing the nose of his ship into a frontward spiral, he shot down a quick succession of tie-fighters, but to his dismay the second only knocked off coarse, barelling into a bomber as it slowed to a halt and exploded in a burst of light.

pushing portside, he curved down and closed his s-foils with a quick button press. 

“I know, I know!” he growled as bb-8 panicked loudly at him. “just watch our engines!”

as soon as he’d gained speed, the t-70 spun back on her roll axis and swept underneath the fleet to take up the back where several interceptors were targeting the straggling bombers. 

“shield, beebee!” poe’s s-foils were back up the moment he spoke and in seconds, the interceptors were no more. but not before several plasma bolts rocked his ship, dangerous tremors trailing him away from the fight before he could spin up and over to rejoin the fleet. 

“could use come help-” a comm line from a red fighter was brutally cut short with a scream. followed by the hollow echoing of a blown up bomber. they were losing fighters faster than they could knock out ties- if they weren’t quick, they could lose the entire bombing fleet.

“tallie, watch your center!” poe shouted as he curved around to join the blue leader. she was trailing a singular bomber- and a sullen glance around the cockpit viewpoint told him this was their only bomber.

their last chance.

for a moment, poe was sure they were going to lose the cobalt bomber. but through some kind of miracle, the load dropped and in seconds- 

the dreadnaught was nothing but a memory.

“hell yeah!” cheers sounded through the comms and poe swore he’d never felt so elated.

“black leader, come in!” it was snap- his voice just as excited, but with a different edge. something different. 

“I’m here, what’s up?” poe pulled back on his engines, pushing toward the raddus to dock before hyperspace, a victorious grin still lighting his features.

“the blue squadron’s found a weak point on the star destroyer, commander, we’re sending the last of our fighters. repeat, their battleship is going down!”

a sinking feeling.

breath caught in his throat.

the smile faltered. 

[hadanelith]

Just got back from finally seeing TLJ... I don't think I've been this disappointed in a Star Wars movie since Phantom Menace. This movie was *awful*, both as a Star Wars movie and just as a film.

Massive, total spoilers below the cut.

The opening sequence was bad. While the whole phone call thing was a decently funny bit, it went on about 2 exchanges too long. The space battle that followed was insultingly stupid, between the idea that this Dreadnaught has no effective anti-starfighter defenses and the ludicrous design of the bombers with *gravity bombs*. This sequence was effectively a straight up WWII bombing run, and it just didn't make any sense. Rey's badgering of Luke went on too long, and while it kind of aped the kung fu movie 'seek out the master, he refuses to train you but he's actually testing you/teaching you the whole time he's refusing' thing, it didn't pan out in the end at all, so it felt completely wasted. The rebel fleet escaping to deep space was fine. The FO tracking them was fine. The idea that they would just follow along, shooting at them ineffectively for hours and hours, is just insane. I was specifically irritated that they remembered that ships have shields NOW, but they totally didn't during the opening battle or the starfighter fight that started the chase. Are they going with the idea that starfighters ignore shields for some bullshit reason? If so, why would they not send in a massive starfighter wave to end the battle? The FO had 6+ Star Destroyers plus the Super Star Destroyer - they should have had at least three or four hundred TIEs, and since TIEs blew out the bridge and space Leia, they must be capable of otherwise hurting the ships. This whole ticking clock siege setup was dumb, and the follow on effects were bad too. Spacing Leia felt like 'oh, so that's how they're gonna fix it', and then they didn't. Instead they have her explicitly use the Force, which, okay, fine, but what the hell? I guess they just wanted her out of the way for a while, and couldn't think of a better way? Finn trying to cut and run? Fine. Rose catching him? Fine. Them turning around and hatching a plan to save the fleet? No. The dialogue was bizarre during this bit, and the instant turn-around from anger to camaraderie felt very forced. Poe going with it? Eh, it fits. The casino planet was one sequence that went on exactly as long as was reasonable, without drastically overstaying its welcome. It was a bit on the ham handed side, mind you, but it didn't drag on, the action half was fun, and no part of it felt too out of left field. Getting back to the fleet, Poe's little mutiny could have been completely prevented just by telling everyone the plan. Not doing so was ludicrous. Then there's the Holdo maneuver. Why the HELL did she wait that long? If the whole plan was a noble sacrifice, why wait until half the damn shuttles got blown up to get started? Just do it straight off! It also opens a brand new can of worms. Someone finally realized that a sufficiently fast drive system is also a powerful weapon. Great. Now ramming things at FTL is a thing that you can reasonably do in Star Wars. That's...a solution that no one EVER considered for the Death Stars? Especially since according to TFA, hyperdrive bypasses shields? The Rebels could have just rammed a Mon Cal cruiser straight into Death Star II, ignored the planetary shield, and won with only materiel losses and no personnel! This is a TERRIBLE precedent to set! Finn, Rose, and the slicer on the SSD: eh? BB-8 as a trash can was cute, the evil BB-8 was just merchandising, the shot of the iron descending was actually a fun shot, cinematigraphically. Getting caught, the slicer selling them out, and almost getting executed? Eh. Finn and Phasma fighting? WHY? Why bring back Phasma after they threw her in a trash compactor, just to kill her off anyway in a fight that means nothing and goes nowhere? Not-Hoth: I really liked the visuals. I liked the salt-foxes (but that's mostly just me being a sucker for foxes). But setting up for Battle of Hoth version 2 was really goofy. Why was the big gun ('based on Death Star tech', doesn't look at all like Death Star anything...)TOWED? Why did they tow it with mono-purpose walkers (that were based on Strandbeests, which is cool, but pointless)? Why the FUCK did Rose stop Finn from making HIS heroic sacrifice? I'm sorry, her reasoning is bullshit, and then they didn't even have her die!

Rewinding to Rey: Luke is *completely* out of character. His refusing is bullshit, his lessons are bullshit, his reasoning is bullshit, and the whole thing is character assassination of the highest order. Rey, meanwhile, is stuck with a whiny emo in her head, the poor girl. Those conversations drag on for way too long, and continue to include Irritating Manchild Kyle Ron, so I'm not a fan. The library tree was some hilarious bullshit - up until this point, only Han has called the Jedi a 'religion', so having Luke suddenly talking about the 'holy texts' was way weird. Ditto the idea that they've been on this tiny island on some planet no one's heard of, and not, say, in the JEDI TEMPLE. The FUCK? The whole 'infinity mirror' well of the Dark Side thing was just weird. I liked the effect, I liked the whole bit with Rey trying to figure out what the deal was...but there was NO PAYOFF. I thought they were going to go with some kinda 'many possible futures' thing or something, but for it all to come to exactly NOTHING was really weird. The back and forth about the day Ben Solo became Irritating Manchild Kyle Ron felt like more character assassination of Luke. Also irritating - they keep mentioning other students, but they never bother to show them at all. Then Rey steals the books, and leaves. Joy. Luke's whole conversation with Ghost!Yoda was bizarre. I appreciate that they dug out the old puppet, but why? Yoda was inscrutable, Luke was inscrutable, a Force Ghost had physical effect on the world, which was new and unnecessary, and the whole thing felt way out of place. Rey ends up on the SSD with Irritating Manchild Kyle Ron, and they go talk to Mutant McGrossFace, who is a condescending dickhead, but not as good a condescending dickhead as Palps, so...meh. Special shoutout to Rey summoning the lightsaber and Mutant McGrossFace clobbering her in the head with it. The way Irritating Manchild Kyle Ron kills him was pretty sweet; the big fight sequence was kinda sweet, if gratuitous; the whole 'battle of wills staring contest while doing aggressive jazz hands at each other' thing went on for FOREVER. sigh. Rey...escapes. Off screen. Irritating Manchild Kyle Ron becomes new 'Supreme Leader'. I notice that even his subordinates don't really believe in him very much. Oh, additional shoutout to the last kill in the fight with the red guard guys - that was something people have been thinking was a good idea for a long time, so it was fun to see.

Rewinding again: Chewbacca is in this movie. His little scene with the Porgs was...two shots too long, and completely pointless. And that is basically the sum total of his involvement in this movie.

Right, big finale! Luke shows up on not-Hoth, taunts Irritating Manchild Kyle Ron into fighting him, doesn't actually fight, turns out he isn't really there. This is a major Force Illusion, and it's actually kind of neat, even if it kills him in the end. Rey and Chewie draw off the TIEs in the Falcon in a fun little flight sequence through some salt crystal caves, which is fine. Porgs show up here as comic relief, which is...acceptable, I guess? They don't get in the way, which is nice. The Resistance escapes with the help of the salt foxes, Rey does some pretty significant TK, and they all escape. Luke dies, Rose is comatose, and we end by flying away in the Falcon. Feels like the end of TFA, and not in a great way. The last shot was purely setup, and it felt like some Marvel-style foreshadowing stuff. I do not approve.

Acting:

Decent acting by most people that got to do stuff. Massively hamstrung by the script. I find it telling that Mark Hamill has said (not the exact quote, but the gist) 'I disagree with everything you're doing to Luke, but I'll go do my job as an actor'. Guess it's a good thing they killed him off. But they didn't kill Leia, even when they had an easy way to do so. How the hell are they gonna fix that come the next movie? Kill her off screen? Major shoutouts to Adam Driver and Domhnall Gleeson - they managed to be thoroughly unlikeable villains, turning in convincing performances despite the script. Irritating Manchild Kyle Ron is exactly that, which appears intentional, so that was good acting. Hux was conceptually the worst sort of elitist British Imperialist, and he was exactly that. Apparently Gleeson did a LOT of research on how to portray the role convincingly, and it shows. Boyega does a decent job as Finn, but he has to fight with characterization as someone who is way more naive than the actor. Oscar Isaac turns in a good performance as Poe, despite getting handed the idiot ball by the script. Carrie does fine as Leia, but she doesn't actually get to do much in the movie. As her last hurrah, it's pretty muted. Daisy Ridley does alright with what she has - but she has to play a girl who has Irritating Manchild Kyle Ron in her head AND Massive Dick Alternate Universe Luke Skywalker being a dick to her face. Her perseverance is kind of admirable. They didn't get Peter Mayhew as Chewie. Maybe that's why he's barely in the movie. Andy Serkis is fine as Snoke. He's not as good at being evil as Ian McDiarmid, but what can you do? Laura Dern as Admiral Holdo...she's written as a bitch, she pulls it off just fine. My complaint is her script, not the acting. Kelly Marie Tran as Rose is...fine, I guess? Again, I mostly hate the script, not the actress.

The nitpicks: Do shields work, or not? Make up your minds! Capital ships have never needed fuel before. This is a limitation that they have added for this movie. I wish they hadn't. Gravity doesn't work like that, space bomber friends. How the hell do they *hear* the Star Destroyers arriving on the planet's surface at the beginning? During Irritating Manchild Kyle Ron's big 'fight' with Luke, they couldn't figure out which way he was holding his lightsaber, shot to shot. Porgs nesting in the Falcon's wiring? And Chewie doesn't say or do *anything*? Really? Given the size of the island, what the hell is up with the 'caretaker' aliens? Also, how the hell do they not exist for apparent DAYS, and then they have just always been there? Why the hell do they show us Luke's X-Wing, and then never do the 'lift it from the sea' shot? Or do ANYTHING with it at all? Why is the Mon Cal Cruiser's hanger bay empty for like 150 meters while Irritating Manchild Kyle Ron is flying through it, with a handful of fighters right at the back end? Why in the world don't the FO use all the TIE Fighters they obviously have? Actually, why is the only real dogfight the terrible bomber escort bit at the beginning? This is Star Wars, dammit, X-Wings dogfighting with TIE Fighters is something that should happen a lot. Why are the cops on the casino planet wearing samurai helmets? Why didn't Holdo bother to just TELL Poe (and everyone else, for that matter) the plan? Why did Holdo wait until half the shuttles were gone, just watching, before her (clearly planned) suicide run? Actually, why not evac the medical frigate BEFORE it runs out of fuel, and use THAT to ram? Why does no one but evil!BB-8 question the moving, beeping trashcan? Why in the FUCK does the entire 'infinity mirror' sequence come to literally NOTHING? There's probably more, but those are the ones that came to mind.

Final thoughts: Everything that has anything to do with the Force in this movie is basically garbage (except Snoke whacking Rey with the lightsaber, that was hilarious). The characters all grab the idiot ball, nobody (except Finn and Rose) bother to tell anyone else what they're about to do, and Luke just straight up gets fucked as a character. The space battles are unsatisfying...actually, they're mostly just insulting to your intelligence. Rian Johnson just doesn't GET Star Wars. What it's about, why we watch it, what people like about it.

This film is structurally a mess and thematically a disaster. I rate it way worse than TFA, worse than Episodes II and III. I honestly can't decide if I dislike this more than the Phantom Menace. If you're a Star Wars fan, this movie doesn't want you to like it, and if you're not...then why would you start with Episode EIGHT?