#they got as many years together as Charlotte and George

[winnie-the-monster]

Thinking about this scene again 🥺😭❤️💔🥺😭❤️💔

[kxlitz]

omg love your writing its so GOOD

do you think you could do some more headcanons about growing up with devilsh

np if you cant have a good day or night ❤

★ Growing up with Devilish & Being Tokio Hotel’s 5th member ★ pt.2

AN: I’VE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS ONE !!

I decided to merge the requests because they overlap with one another and simply work. I hope this satisfies you !! I’m writing this as a part 2 to my first « Growing up with Devilish/Tokio Hotel » post since it just works!

Warning! Underage drinking and Smoking,sexual themes touched non explicitly, that’s about it. Friendly reminder it’s Tokio Hotel we’re talking about

≛ This is set in 2003 til 2005 right before the release of ddm as it deserves it’s own post.

~ Enjoy your read ~ (not proof read I’m sorry I had to get smth out of the drafts)

Bill was so excited to land that Starsearch audition, he came running to your house once he got the confirmation.

It’s 8pm on a school day and there’s a frantic Bill knocking at your door.

Or window, if it happens to be on the first floor.

I love the idea of your room being on the first floor, that way the boys can sneak in for silly night-ins discussing about the future of your band or watching some disney movies on your VHS player.

Or sometimes you’d sneak in beer, weed, all that good stuff that 12/13 year olds should not be doing but you did it anyway.

Your bedroom was a hideout and safe place, especially for Bill who found so much comfort in you.

The days following to Bill’s audition were spent practising his singing and putting up a killer outfit that would shock everyone.

Not many people had faith in him, but I’m sure you were certain he’d make it.

So when a letter got home after a few weeks saying that he was amongst the best 16 in the country, you sticked out your tongue and middle finger up to the other 3 boys. “I told you so”

When it came the time to interview the band for Bill’s section of the show, you guys knew you’d have to be your best.

Bill helped out picking your outfits for sure. You needed to look cool for the camera. Maybe this would be a breakthrough moment?

You even got to do Georg’s hair, much to his annoyance.

It felt glorious, there was a television team in Loitsche and it was just for you guys. You were the kings of the town for a few hours.

Charlotte, the twins’s mom allows you to come with her to the show. You were so excited to see Bill onstage! (The fandom knew Mami Kaulitz as Simone but she legally deleted that name and only kept Charlotte) (from now on I’ll only refer to her as Mami Kaulitz though)

Once Bill came on stage you knew he was meant to be there, and you dreamed for your band to be able to shine like this by his side.

You were clapping and singing along so happily, the crowd loved him.

The same can’t be said about one particular judge.

When Bill lost he came running into your arms. Poor boy was destroyed. You only had a couple minutes to gather his things and leave so while his grandma comforted him you helped out Mami Kaulitz at getting everything together.

Standing awkwardly by a crying Bill, his grandma and a bunch of strangers while waiting for his mom to finish talking to the host is definitely not your best memory.

Needless to say the ride back home was silent.

Everyone was so proud of Bill nonetheless.

In the following weeks you guys mostly practiced your melodies with the band and tried out new riffs. Bill was quite depressed and refused to get out of his house.

Not even a new outfit, new song or a cool Barbie doll could convince him to get out.

You would physically have to get in and drag him out of bed by his ankles.

Once you yanked him too hard and he fell right on his butt, knocking his head while at it. Tom was wheezing in the back while you tried to help Bill up, avoiding to burst at his misery.

Bill has always been arrogant, so the loss on Starsearch was a big bruise to his ego. You would have to help him rebuild his self-esteem.

Dressing him up prettily and doing his makeup.

Bill would imitate your makeup techniques, he finds you fascinating.

This is how his iconic black eyeshadow look was born.

Overtime it all got better and you guys went back to the routine.

In a way, you’re the glue that sticks everyone together in the band. For sure you’d be a pillar the boys rely on.

Whenever things don’t seem to go the right way you tend to climb on the rooftop and just talk the night away with Georg. You two can have the longest and brightest (sometimes not so) conversations man has known.

Back to the “storyline” Starsearch was not useless in the slightest. Bill’s voice, the band’s rogue look in the interview and the angelic beauty of one of it’s members caught a talent scout’s attention.

Sometime between 2002 and 3 you guys had recorded your Devilish demo, that along with Bill’s appearance in the show had gained you some newfound popularity in town.

Things were still hard but, at least they knew those five losers had talent.

It was a hard and exhausting process til you guys finally signed with Universal. But! Before you could record an album, you all needed some proper training. So during the summer holidays you were accommodated into an apartment with everything you may need.

Now imagine an apartment with 5 young teens living by themselves.

Gustav was in charge of the cooking because if anyone else touched the kitchen you would burn the place down.

Tom has managed to burn water. Do not trust him.

We all know Gustav is a total chef now, but back then let’s be honest.. he could make instant ramen noodles and sandwiches. So most of the time you guys settled on ordering junk.

You guys had sleeping arrangements but it never stopped you from all ending in one room playing video games til the late hours of the night or drinking til you passed out.

Nowadays you guys sometimes cringe at everything you were doing at such a young age.

Parties were strictly forbidden in the apartment so you would all sneak to the nearest park to raise hell. There were no parents to run after you and barely any surveillance around. You guys were free.

You once got so wasted that on the way back home Georg crashed somebody’s window. You still wonder how you never got caught.

There were nights that the place would get so cold that you all ended up as a pile when it came time to sleep.

You didn’t stay like that all night though. You’d wake up coddled against Tom’s leg on the floor as he took up the entire couch. Georg was sprawled on the bed, Gustav rested on an armchair somewhere and Bill made himself a blanket cocoon.

Bill and you still have a very special friendship, so some nights you would both get into the blanket cocoon in the living room and watch some vhs tapes of Nena, Queen and Bowie’s concerts.

Oh and Titanic, for sure. Bill loves the film.

He confessed to you that he was crushing on both Rose and Jack (Bill actually said this)

If you happen to also be in the lgbtq community, you’re in for a queer ride when watching films with Bill.

ESPECIALLY, Labyrinth.

You washed Georg’s hair in the sink once. You never talk about it.

The five of you are oddly comfortable around one another so there was no shame in that.

Nor in walking around barely dressed, making the grossest jokes and acts and being complete degenerates.

The fact Bill mentioned in his book that they’d collectively jack off still haunts me to this day.

You just let them be.

Or join if you’re drunk enough, you be you bestie.

You’re not excluded from the after hour porn binge watching though, that’s like watching the news for you bunch of hormonal brats.

Anything totally inappropriate for your age aside, the five of you have such a beautiful bond. It’s amazing to watch you go.

Of course the twins are a step ahead, but it doesn’t change the fact that as a band and as friends you’re so connected to one another.

You can have more than one soulmate, and the five of you are linked together for sure.

Ok i’m being cheesy.

I’m sorry but Tom was the type to ask you to make out to “practice”

He likes to snatch your bras (if you wear them) and mock you while holding it against his chest.

“Georg next time you take a big shit open the windows and spray there’s a lady living in here” “Look I’m y/n and i’m the best musician in this band” “Pull up your pants you looser”

In return, you have hit him with a bra. How is you weaponize it? I have no idea but you certainly did.

Gustav and you were always the ones to do groceries because if you let the other ones do it, they would come back with anything BUT groceries.

A new turtle for georg, king sized box of condoms, cigarettes, a kiss the cook apron, supposedly haunted doll they found in the trash and a pack of hot wheels toys.

Gustav might be the dad yet it doesn’t take his chaos away from him. He chased you guys around the apartment with a water gun screaming like a madman.

He drums on bowls while cooking it’s cute.

You genuinely had the time of your lives.

But you can’t forget that you were located there for a reason.

Writing music.

Turning this into a series! I’m honestly way too into this idea not to cover the band’s evolution in it’s entirety. The inclusion of this fifth member is genuinely very fun to write and brainstorm about! I’ll mostly write them as the rhythm guitarist as it’s logically the easiest position to sneak into the band. As well as I must say that I am definitely more comfortable writing afab readers but no worries I can and certainly will do male reader <3

See you ~

- Meryl <3

[laura1633]

It’s coming to the end of the season and I feel like we are getting lots more Lestappen content but I was thinking about the year as a whole and whilst we didn’t get many on track battles there was actually quite a lot going on this year. 

Off the top of my head…(and sorry if I have some of this wrong, I am just thinking out loud)

Bahrain - Max and Charles looking at each other like lovesick teenagers in the press conference. Hopefully you know the look I mean. - the one where Max is staring at Charles and Charles catches him staring and they both look away and smile. 

Baku - Max is going off at George and looks furious but instantly starts smiling the second he goes to congratulate Charles and Charles winks at him. 

Baku - Max showing Charles a picture on his phone and Charles leaning right into him 

Baku - Charles sitting in Checo’s chair because he’s too busy talking to Max to notice and then going and standing in Max’s podium spot and Max being completely fine with that.

Monaco - Max chasing after Charles to tell him he liked his special race suit.

Zandvoort - Charles checking Max out when he didn’t realise he was filming for Mclaren and thought he was just looking at his phone. 

Monza - they are too busy having their little debrief after qualifying and walk off in the wrong direction together and someone has to come and get them (I think this was Monza because I seem to remember Charles having that yellow and red suit on but I could be wrong)

Monza - Charles telling the crowd not to boo Max. 

Qatar - Max winning the WDC and Charles literally jumping out of his car so quickly to congratulate him that his engineer was still talking to him on the radio and wondering where he went.

Padel - The fact they actually did hang out away from the track and played padel.

Brazil - Max being too busy talking to Charles to start his actual interview and then the two of them chatting away in the background as Lance was interviewed.

Brazil - The whole ‘Charlie’ video and the fact that Charles walked passed everyone to go and chat with Max.

Las Vegas - Max bringing Charles into his interview in the press pen and the two of them looking so happy together. 

Las Vegas - Max apologising for the turn 1 incident and the little arm touches, Charles’ concern when he thought Max wasn’t going to be able to get in the Rolls Royce and then the two of them chatting away.

Las Vegas - After Max mentioning the inchident multiple times on twitch streams and doing the inchident thing on tiktok he finally got to say ‘inchident’ in front of Charles. Also the two of them reminiscing about growing up together and karting. 

Social Media stuff - Max getting excited recounting the story about Charles streaming and Charlotte having to buy a subscription to his account to ask him to let her into the apartment. Charles liking Lestappen edits of the sunrise/storm laps. Charles including a picture of Max on one of his insta stories. 

And then, on top of all that we have had numerous photos of other drivers looking like third wheels around them and the two of them chatting away together in press conferences like nobody else matters. 

I think there is actually lots more, maybe I need to put together a load of photos or something at some point but this year has been full of Lestappen. Hopefully next year we get lots of on track stuff too.

[bellaatmclaren]

Chapter Two // Battle of the Paddock

Within two weeks, Bella found herself packing up her life and getting ready for a trip to Bahrain, to start the first testing session of the year. In those two weeks, Bella had forgotten all about her nerves. She had spent most of those days, side-by-side with Lando and his teammate, Oscar Piastri. She had followed Lando to photoshoots, interviews, suit fittings, to see his new car and everything in between. They had gone for breakfasts, lunches, dinners, coffees, and late-night drinks at bars around London. It hadn’t taken long to form a strong bond of friendship.

Over drinks one evening, Lando had confided in her about his break-up with Luisa. They had only been together for eight months, but Lando had been smitten with the model. It had hurt more when the media had started to report that the split came abruptly after Lando had been ‘exposed’ to sending flirty messages to another woman.

“Honestly, Bells. It’s not what happened. I mean, yes, I did send them but that was after we had split up. There’s nothing wrong with that, was there? I was just messing”.

Bella signed and reached across to place her hand on top of his.

“No, Lando, there isn’t but the media are never going to portray it the boring way, are they? You were single, but if the world didn’t know that at the time, how were we to know any different? And so quickly after the split too, I mean, that would have kicked Luisa where it hurt most.”

Lando nodded slowly, letting out a big sigh.

“I know, I fucked it up more than I should, but I never meant to hurt her. She was my world…”

He stared out of the bar window into the lamp-lit street. Bella could see his eyes glistening, deep in thoughts of regret and pain.

“I know Lando, I know. But onwards and upwards now, hey? Let’s focus on getting you that world championship”.

“You’ve always got your work head on, haven’t you? It’s like being with Charlotte all over again”, he chuckled, hiding the darkness away. “I don’t know if I want to fall in love again, I can’t ever feel that pain again. I don’t think I could carry on. I felt so alone after she left.”

“Lando, don’t say that, please. You’re not alone, I’m right here and I won’t leave you, I promise”.

Bella looked at him a little differently after that night, she saw past the external shell of a playful, cheeky chap to hurt and lonely young boy. A young boy that just wanted something, just once to go his way. She knew he was tired of being the ‘babyface’ of the paddock, but she didn’t want him to lose his sparkle either. That set him apart from the other boys. Bella could tell, deep down he was hurting, badly.

***

It was a late evening of a cold, crisp February day when Bella found herself climbing out of a car and following Lando into Heathrow Airport, ready to catch a flight to Bahrain. She was not looking forward to sitting, cramped in an aircraft for near to ten hours. They did have a slight release in a change in Abu Dhabi, but it still wasn’t going to be ideal. Bella could never sleep on planes, not that she had been on many.

Bella’s mother died when she was just a year old, leaving behind herself and her father. As a single parent, he never had much money to spend on exotic holidays, but that had never mattered to her. They had gone to local beaches, rented caravans, and tents, and just enjoyed the time they had together.

She followed Lando toward a huddled group near the check-in desks. Both Lando and herself were wearing the distinctive, orange McLaren jackets but she didn’t see any more orange in the group.

“LANDO NORRIS! Have you grown this winter? I swear that last time I saw you, you were only up to my armpits.” Laughed a tall man that Bella didn’t recognise.

The group laughed and another taller man stepped forward and put his arm around Lando.

“I do apologise about him, you look amazing,” he said as he released Lando.

Stepping back, Bella recognised this second man as George Russell.

“Lando, who is this lovely companion of yours?”

“Oh, that’s Bella. She’s the new Charlotte!”

“Blimey, you have some work cut out for you then Bella!” George smiled, as he stepped forward to embrace her. “It’s lovely to meet you, I’m George and this joker here is Henry”.

He gestured to the first gentleman who had spoken.

“Nice to meet you, Bella” Henry shook her hand. “Welcome to the crew! I could do with some more faces to chat to whilst these lot abandon us for the track”.

“Thank you, yes please, some company would be brilliant. Apart from a few of the McLaren team and Lando, I don’t know anyone else who will be in the paddock with us. Do you work with George as well?”

Henry laughed.

“He wishes, I’m George’s partner so you could say I’m his emotional support advisor. We all know he likes a little cry now and then.”

“Oh, stop it you” George playfully pushed Henry’s arm.

Lando introduced Bella to the other drivers and their PR advisors stood in the group. She had shaken hands with Pierre Gasly, Alex Albon, and Esteban Ocon. Each who were equally as warm and welcoming as George and Henry.

“I thought there would be more of us here this morning?” Asked Lando.

“Well, Lewis, Max, Lance, Fernando, and the others all jumped on private jets because they’re all far too good for us, slumming it on a commercial airline,” said Alex, rolling his eyes.

“Bella, I am so excited about this flight. You can get to know this lot. Have you ever flown first class before? It’s awesome”

���Lando, Bella probably won’t...” George started.

“They bring you drinks, and posh food and you even get a bed!” Said Lando excitedly, almost jumping up and down like a small child.

“No, I haven’t,” She said, “And I won’t be this time. I’m not important enough for the first class I’m afraid. My ticket is for the usual seats, so you’ll have to enjoy them without me”.

Lando’s face fell.

“What? Show me your ticket”.

Bella got out her phone and Lando read her boarding pass.

“No! That’s not fair, Henry gets to fly with us! Why can’t you?”

“Henry only flies with us because we’ve been together for a couple of years, Lando.” George said sympathetically “the first year, I bought him his ticket and then Williams let me have him, but I had to ask them nicely. Sorry buddy”

Lando looked at Bella, to George, and back in disbelief.

“Excuse me, just one minute,” Lando said as he scooted off, leaving his baggage with them.

“Anyway, Bella. Let us go grab a coffee and you can tell us a little about yourself?” George gestured toward the lounge.

Lando approached the check-in desk. He still had Bella’s phone in his hand.

“Hi, excuse me, sorry to bother you but I was wondering if we could upgrade a seat on this flight?”

“Good evening, Sir. Of course, if I just take some passenger details I can see what I can do for you” Said the smiling attendant, taking the phone from his hand.

“I see, unfortunately, this seat would have to be paid upfront for an upgrade. I wouldn’t be able to charge it to your company.”

Lando scrabbled around in his bag and produced his wallet, opening it and handing the attendant a card.

“Just pop it on this card, it’s fine”

“Thank you, sir, I will do that for you now. Did you want me to put her with you? You have an empty seat in your pod”.

“Yes, please”.

Bella, George, and Henry were deep in discussion about growing up in the Kent area when Lando approached them, looking deeply satisfied with himself.

“What have you done now, Lando?” Asked George, raising an eyebrow. “I do hope it’s not mischievous”.

“Nope, but now, Bella is flying with us in first class!”

Lando tucked his wallet back into the pocket of his bag.

“Lando! You better have not just paid for that…” Bella said, exasperatedly.

Lando just winked at her and sat down amongst them to discuss the upcoming practice sessions.

[kulturegroupie]

Yeah I heard he had an affair with Ronnie woods wife. But then I remember seeing a picture of Charlotte, Jimmy and scarlet with two friends outside of their house and this was in September of 1974. This was also around the time he was having an affair with Krissy.

BUT during that time, I think Pattie Boyd was having an affair with Ronnie wood, and I’m not exactly sure if George was hooking up with Ronnies wife(I think he was hooking up with Maureen, Ringos wife). This was also around 1974-1975.

So I know for sure that Jimmy cheated on Charlotte and it’s pretty obvious, but I don’t know what truly happened. But I heard that in the other half of their relationship (like probably from 1975/1976-1983) things weren’t as bad I think they’re relationship was a little better idk.

Idk it’s hard to know because I don’t always trust those zeppelin biographies. Because sometimes it’s like broken telephone you know? I think they had a fuck ton of issues, but he also cared about her. On Instagram I heard she posted about him on her Instagram (her main Instagram is private though). And I heard they’re on good terms. I also heard from people that knew Charlotte and Jimmy that they were both nice. So yeah there’s good and bad.

Sorry lastly I honestly want Charlotte to write a memoir or like do an interview. I’m so curious and I want to know the details with her relationship with Eric Clapton, George Harrison, and Jimmy Page.

hi anon, i believe the partner swap thing between george, pattie, ronnie and krissy happened a year or a few years before jimmy and charlotte got involved with the wood's. pattie and george officially broke up in 1974, so i think it may have happened in '73 or even late '72.

i've read some articles from mid to late 70's about jimmy and charlotte having issues with their relationship and then making up again. they've been through a hell of a lot together, and obviously loved and cared deeply for each other but eventually is was best for them to part ways.

it would be cool to hear/read charlotte's thoughts on her many adventures and relationships throughout her young adulthood, yeah. but if she prefers to stay private, i respect her decision.

[therealvinelle]

How many people do u think the cullens have killed?

A lot.

I’ll try to answer on a Cullen to Cullen basis, and make my estimate as conservative as possible. Also, for this estimate I'll look only at direct kills, complicity doesn’t count, which for example means I won’t add Royce King II & friends to Carlisle’s count, even though he made himself complicit when he helped Rosalie plot their murders.

Without further ado:

Alice has had her accidents, plural, so 2≤ humans. After joining the Cullens, mind you, we don’t know how she lived as a newborn. I’d guess her visions told her to feed from animal blood early on, to accustom her to it sooner rather than later so life among the Cullens would be easier. The interesting thing about Alice having a body count is that her gift should be helpful in avoiding these kinds of situations, meaning that Alice’s accidents have caught her unawares. So, we have at least two humans, and considering the newborn army the number might be higher. Might. Jasper tried his damndest to keep Alice safe in that fight, so it stands to reason he killed anyone who got close to her. Alice might not have had the chance to kill any newborns. If she did, and counting kills she helped with, then I’d put my estimate at a conservative 0-1. Then we have Rosalie, who says she has the second best streak in the family, second only to Carlisle. Rose killed 5 humans (she corrects herself a bit later to 7, but this doesn’t make a difference. She’s still second best to Carlisle). She admittedly doesn’t mention Alice, but if Alice had a better record than her she likely would have. Which jumps Alice up another few steps, to 8≤.

Bella hasn’t killed anyone. 0.

Carlisle had a perfect record until the newborn army attacked. So, no humans, but most likely newborns. When Carlisle attacks Bree in “The Short Second Life of Bree Tanner”, it’s a fast and brutal attack. I’ll just paste the scene: A blond vampire glanced at me, meeting my gaze, and his eyes flashed gold in the sunlight. (...) I turned and really ran for the trees (...) I was a few feet into the trees when a force like a wrecking ball hit me from behind and threw me to the ground. An arm slipped under my chin. (The Short Second Life of Bree Tanner, page 91) For the record, holy shit Carlisle, that was so brutal! I can’t believe that the minute Bella steps off screen the guy rips off his shirt and becomes the Terminator. Damn. ... Point being, Carlisle was an active participant in that battle. It makes ethical sense for him to be, the newborns had to die, it would have been hypocritical to tell his family “you guys go roll in the mud, I’m too saintly to get my hands dirty”, and if he didn’t pitch in his family and the shapeshifters would be in danger. It becomes morally just to join in the battle, and with a zeal at that. Or at least that’s how he appears to have reasoned, because holy shit, Carlisle took the gloves off. So, Carlisle can reasonably be assumed to have killed at least 1 newborn, likely more. I’d say 3 at the most, though there’s the possibility that he co-opted some kills with the others. (I have more thoughts further down).

Edward left for four years to eat people. At first he ate junkies and homeless people, they did not taste good. Would this have motivated him to eat more than one every fortnight? Alas, I’m keeping my estimate conservative, so let’s wager no. So, one human per fortnight for four years. 26*4=104. That’s the lowest possible estimate of people Edward killed, though I’m inclined to think higher. Given his mission to stop evil, if Edward found a rapist it’s not like he’d go “aw shucks, I can’t kill him yet because it hasn’t been a full two weeks!” Add Victoria to that count, and we’re at 105≤.

Emmett killed his two singers, but considering Rosalie’s statement he too falls under the 8≤ number. He helped kill James, which adds +1 to the vampire tally. Then comes the newborn battle. Bree sees him kill one of the newborns, so we know he got some action. I’ll make the same assumption as I did for Carlisle, which is 1-3. So, 2-4 vampires total.

Esme is explicitly stated to have a worse record than Rosalie. She has killed 8 people or more. As for the newborn army, I’m not sure I can picture it. If Esme did kill anyone, I imagine it was along with others. Let’s put her down for 1.

Jasper my poor guy, he’s in another league. Turned in 1863, he lived with Maria until 1938, then met Alice and became a vegetarian in 1948. He’s had a few accidents since. From 1863 to 1938 I think we should assume one person per week, as strength was paramount in the world of newborn armies, blood was a reward for soldiers, and Jasper won Maria a lot of territory. They would not want for blood, and he recounts she rewarded him often. So, 52*75=3900 dead humans. Jasper then runs off with Peter and Charlotte, presumably eating at a normal rate of every other week. We don’t know when he split off from them, but let’s assume an even split and that he left after five years, leaving another five years of lone wandering where he tried to starve himself. So, 26*5=130 for his years with Peter and Charlotte, then assuming he made it a month each fast before surrendering, 13*5=75 for the lone years. We then have accidents. He’s had more accidents than any of the other Cullen children (I don’t think it’s every actually specified that he’s had more accidents than them all, meaning Esme could still have slipped more), putting him at 9≤ accidents. Then comes the vampires he’s killed. We know he killed Nettie, Lucy, and James, so that’s 3. Newborns take time to train, but to make up for that we have a lot of armies. Let’s assume Maria’s army got into one battle every six months. Let’s assume Jasper always killed at least 1 vampire. (See what I meant by conservative? In my defense, Victoria’s army was huge and not at all representative) That’s 130≤ vampires. Jasper also mentions that as a newborn he kept getting into fights with his brothers-in-arms, he killed several. So, let’s assume 4≤, since it sounds like it was certainly more than 2. More numerous are the vampires he executed. Jasper’s gift meant Maria could have a lot more soldiers than most, and he doubled her army’s numbers. His first major accomplishment was to make her an army of 23 newborns. Assuming he kept up this good work, knowing as we do that Jasper was the only vampire Maria never replaced, and assuming some newborns were lost to infighting or battles, we can assume a replacement cycle of Maria needing 20 vampires executed on a yearly basis. 20*75 = 1500. Which... does feel a little high, but Jasper’s backstory is extreme. As for the newborn battle, let’s assume 4.

Renesmée hasn’t killed anyone either, 0.

Rosalie we know for sure, 7 humans. Let’s assume as with Carlisle and Emmett that she took out 1-3 vampires.

(NOTE: When it comes to how many newborns from Victoria’s army each Cullen killed, all we can do is estimate:

The Cullens divided evenly with the shapeshifters. There were 16 newborns at the battle, giving us 8 newborns per Cullen. There were 6 Cullens present, meaning at least 1 each. Jasper did more than his fair share, and Alice and Esme can both be speculated to have been smaller parts in this battle. I think it’s fair to assume Carlisle, Emmett, and Rosalie killed at least 1 newborn each, though likely more, especially if we take shared kills into consideration. I think 1-3 is a fair assumption, and I’m tempted to assume Jasper killed was everywhere and it feels like lowballing to estimate 4.)

Total:

Alice: 8≤ humans, 0-1** vampire. 9 total

Bella: 0

Carlisle*: 1-3**, all vampires.

Edward: 104≤ humans, 1 vampire. 105≤ total

Emmett: 8≤ humans, 2-4** vampires. 10≤ total

Esme: 8≤ humans, 1 vampire. 9≤ total

Jasper: 4105≤ humans, 1638≤** vampires. 5743≤ total

Renesmée: 0

Rosalie*: 7 humans, 1-3** vampires. 8≤ total

*with both Carlisle and Rosalie we have an upper limit. Carlisle’s body count can’t be higher than 15, and Rosalie’s can’t be higher than 22 (I get the number 15 from 16-1 newborns, as there’s one vampire we know for a fact was killed by Emmett alone) and that would be in an extremely contrived scenario where he or she was somehow everywhere at once.

** when adding up the total of vampires killed by Cullens at the newborn army, regardless of the composition of who killed who, the sum is (assuming an even split with the shapeshifters) 8.

Added together, this gives us:

4240≤ humans and 1643≤ vampires.

If we remove Jasper’s past from the equation, because newborn army George who spent 75 years in a newborn army killing every day is an outlier and should not have been counted, then the tally becomes: 

144≤ humans and 10 vampires.

If we remove Edward’s rebellious era from the equation, as he was not a Cullen at the time, the human tally sinks to: 

40≤ humans. (This is counting Rosalie’s revenge. There have been 33≤ accidents.)

This is the lowest possible estimate. The number is likely higher.

Special thanks to @theunexpectedness​ on the Twilight Forever discord for digging up her copy of “The Short Second Life of Bree Tanner” for me so I could get my quotes straight.

Also, feel free to point out errors in the math. I’m sure I’ve made some.

[harrylilies]

The Royal Series | Pt. VIII

The Royal Series Masterlist

"Come on, Henry!" You laughed at your brother, wrapping the scarf you got him around his neck. "It's your best picture!" The green and red scarf had a picture of him fighting a pap in 2004 all over it, ready to be worn.

"You were only 10 when this happened, how did you even remember this?" He laughed, wrapping his arm around your shoulders and squeezing you to his chest.

"Brings out the colour in your eyes." Will said, helping Charlotte off of his lap and letting her run towards you.

"Think you should wear my gift to your boyfriend's family meeting." Harry joked, letting you go.

You rolled your eyes, scooping Charlotte in your arms. "Did you see Granny's face when I opened the gift?"

Harry mimicked, making everyone in William's drawing room laugh. "Admit it, it's a nice sweatshirt."

"The best thing to wear to a first family meeting; Harry Styles have my babies. Excellent choice." You said sarcastically, swaying Charlotte gently in your place.

"Teetee, did you like my present?" Charlotte asked enthusiastically, wrapping her arms around your neck.

"I loved it! I'm putting that picture frame beside me, on my bedside table. So every morning when I wake up and every night before I sleep, I see you and your brother. It's the best to wake up and sleep to, Charlie." You smiled, pressing a kiss to her cheek, "Also, our little squish here wrote me a very nice letter." You nodded towards Kate's baby bump.

Spending more time with your family doing nothing but laughing, teasing one another, and reminiscing the days when you were all younger, it wasn’t long before you were putting on your coat and ready to leave.

"Do you have to go?" Charlotte whined, frowning as she looked at you.

You cooed, "Aw, none of that now, Charlie. I'll be back before you know it."

"Yeah, Charl, Teetee will only be gone for a few days before she comes back." Kate said, standing beside you as she assured her daughter, "We don't want Y/N leaving with us crying and her getting sad, do we?"

Charlotte nodded before letting out a dramatic sigh, "Okay."

"Now, I really have to go. Want to help me get my bags?" To which Charlotte nodded eagerly to, making you grin, "Where's your brother? Where's Georgie?"

"I think he's in his room." Will said, standing up.

"Let's go get him, Charlie. Let old Daddy sit, wouldn't want him hurting his back." You said teasingly as you walked past your brother, hearing everyone behind you snickering.

"Hey! Don't tell my daughter that!" Will joked, making you wave him off.

Reaching George's room, you let Charlotte knock before you heard him give you a "Come in!"

You opened the door gently, peaking yours and Charlotte's head inside to see George sitting on his floor, playing with the train toy set you had gotten him. His head snapped towards you, a grin instantly drawn to his face as he stood up and sped towards you, hugging your legs. "Auntie, you're still here!"

"I am, baby, but I wanted to ask you if you want to join me and Charlie and help me with my suitcases?" You stroked his scalp gently.

"Yes, of course! I'll get my train." He said before walking back to his previous spot, taking one red train before walking beside you, holding your hand.

George opened the door to your room, going inside and climbing up the bed till he sat, his feet dangling and swaying as he made train noises and flew his toy in the air. You sat Charlotte beside him, giving her the small piano toy she had left in your room the previous day, before unlocking your phone, finding 3 missed calls from Harry.

"Shit," you cursed under your breath, turning your phone slightly to find that it was silenced.

You instantly called him back, balancing the phone between your ear and shoulder blade as you opened your plain blue suitcase, double checking that nothing was missing before checking your duffel bag, too.

"I thought you got cold feet." Harry said as soon as he picked up, followed by a heartfelt laugh.

You smiled to yourself, taking your red sweater in your hand, "No, no. My phone's mute button was probably pushed by accident. Is something wrong?"

"No, love. I just wanted to make sure that you're," he cleared his throat, "You know, still coming."

"I am, H. I'm about to leave," you assured him before chuckling, "They still don't believe you?"

"They don't. Even showed them a couple of pictures but they told me that my fans make insane photoshopped pictures. I’m starting to feel very offended."

You laughed, zipping your suitcase. "Good thing I'm spending New Year's with you then, huh?"

"The best. Still sure about that? Wouldn't your family have your head?" He asked. "One, I'm sure. Two, told you it's me who decides. Now," you held your phone with your hand, "I have to go get dressed. I'll text you when I'm near, okay?"

"Yeah, okay. I'm waiting for you. Take care, yeah?"

"Always do. Bye, baby." And so, it slipped from your mouth, making your eyes widen and your other hand to cover your mouth.

The pet name didn't seem to go unnoticed by Harry as he giggled quietly into the phone, giving you an eager "bye!" and a kissy noise before hanging up.

"I'm going to go change, I'll be right back." You informed your niece and nephew who only nodded at you, too engrossed in their toys.

_

With the car door open wide for you, you bent down, hugging George and Charlotte close to your chest, kissing their temples. "Be good for Mummy and Daddy, will you?"

"Yes, Teetee." They both replied, their arms on you.

"Come on, give me a kiss." You smiled, patting your cheeks for them to which they giggled at, leaning forward and planting loving kisses on your cheeks. "I love you."

"Love you, Teetee!"

Getting into the car and blowing everyone a kiss, you nodded at your driver who stood by the driver's door side. "Don't worry, Ben. I’ll be careful." You smiled, "You spend some time with your family."

"I did actually spend a wonderful time with my wife and the kids." He smiled, closing the door after you got in and put on your seatbelt before you put down your window.

"Oh! Did they like my presents? I certainly hope they did. Although I'm not so sure about the sizes, I just picked the ones suitable for your daughters' and wife's ages." You chuckled, looking up at him.

"They loved it, Your Highness! And the sweaters fit them just right. Lilly especially wanted me to thank you and invite you for a tea party." Ben chuckled humorously as he referred to his youngest daughter, only being 5.

You grinned, perking up. "I love tea parties! I'd gladly come if you'd let me."

Ben laughed in delight, nodding eagerly. "Of course we would! You're welcomed to visit anytime, Your Highness."

You smiled, starting the car before waving at him before you drove off, already feeling the nervous butterflies in your stomach at the thought of meeting Harry's family after a 3-hour drive.

Meanwhile, Harry sat on his mother's sofa, laughing at Gemma's embarrassing stories that Anne was telling Michal, Gemma's boyfriend, laughing at his sister's sour face.

"Oh, come on. At least I'm not as delusional as Harold here, says he's with HRH Princess Y/N." Gemma snickered.

Harry groaned, dropping his head low in defeat. "She's coming in a few hours."

"Oh dear, I have to move the pebbles for when the horses arrive on our doorstep." Anne joked.

"She doesn't move in coaches, Mum." Harry laughed.

"Probably wings." Gemma joked, motioning with her arms to wings, making Harry throw a cushion on her.

"Stop it, Gemma. Stop making fun of your brother," Anne said, standing up and taking two of the many empty glasses on the table which belonged to some of Harry's family whom were in their presence but left, "I raised you both to never make fun of troubled people." She giggled, speeding off to the kitchen.

"Hey, why are you doubting him? Harry's pretty big and known." Michal defended him, looking at Gemma.

Gratefully, Harry made prayer hands as he closed his eyes, mouthing "Thank you" to him.

"I'm not belittling him but," Gemma began, "This 23-year-old woman, one of the most beautiful, whose father is Prince Charles and mother is Princess Diana and her grandmother is the fucking Queen and was raised and continues to live in the monarchy is pretty big, too."

"You always believed me when I told you about my girlfriends." Harry gave her a side eye, raising his eyebrows.

"Because you dated what we now call ordinary people, T Swift, Kendall Jenner. If a colleague of mine told me that they were dating them I'd believe them," she stood up, taking a couple of glasses before following Anne to the kitchen. "Better start cleaning before Her Highness arrives.”

Harry rolled his eyes, looking at Michal. "At least you believe me."

Michal chuckled, standing up as him and Harry started helping Anne and Gemma with the remains of the Christmas get-together they threw.

_

"It told me to make a left, so I did." You said, glancing at your phone in its holder before looking at your surroundings. "Alright wait, I'm coming outside." Harry said through the speaker, the sound of some shuffling around being heard next.

"Are you wearing a green jumper?" You asked, squinting your eyes to get a better look at the figure in front of you.

"Yes! Is that you in the black ca-Oh, hi." He giggled as you drove closer to him, finally getting a clearer view. "Bye bye." He eagerly said before hanging up, watching you park in front of him.

You grinned as you rolled your window up and took your keys and phone, Harry opening your door for you.

The moment you got out, Harry wrapped his arms around your waist, bringing you chest-to-chest closer. "You look very cuddly right now," he whispered, kissing your hair. "You always look cuddly now that I think about it."

You laughed, putting your hands on his chest and looking up at him. "I got some nice cocoa powder for hot chocolate. It's the best you'll ever have."

"I think we have marshmallows." He nodded. "Where are my manners?" Harry asked himself. Smiling as he leaned down, he pressed his lips to yours. Your leaned back on your car, smiling into the kiss as your hands moved to his jaw.

"They still don't believe you?" You asked as you took your breath, glancing back at his house before looking at him.

Harry rolled his eyes, "They teased me enough."

You tried not to laugh, though did a terrible job at it, before patting his chest, "Come on then. Let's meet them." You got out of his grasp and towards your boot. Right as you were about to take your suitcase, Harry beat you to it, taking it out, draping your duffel bag on his shoulder before closing the boot.

"I can take it." You said as he rolled your suitcase in one hand, the other holding yours.

"So can I. Come on." You both walked towards his open door, you smiling sheepishly as you tried not to look around.

"It's quiet." You whispered as Harry put your suitcase and duffel bag beside the door after kicking it close.

He chuckled, "They're in the back."

"I got presents." You whispered again, "Oh shit, I forgot to take them from the backseat." You opened the door, practically jogging towards your car before Harry followed you, grinning as he saw you take out neatly wrapped medium sized boxes in glistening and vibrant Christmas wrapping. "I trust you with the sizes you gave me."

"You got Mum that dress you showed me?" He asked, helping you and taking two boxes, leaving you with one which had a card on top of it with your neat handwriting that said “Merry Christmas, Michal!”

You nodded, humming. "And got Gemma the striped suit and the golf watch for Michal. Is that all alright?"

"Baby, I told you that you don't even have to get anything." Harry chuckled, bumping his hip with yours.

"It's Christmas, H. Everyone deserves nice presents." You smiled.

"Let's put these under the tree." Harry said, raising his eyebrows upwards as you both walked inside. Instantly smiling at the cosy aura the place had, your eyes fell on the twinkling Christmas tree by the window. You put the box under it, waiting as Harry put the other two there.

"And your gift is in my suitcase." You giggled, looking up at him.

"Yours is in my room." He replied with a dimpled grin, "Come on."

With his hand on your waist, you both walked towards the kitchen where you heard chatter and clinking, making you look at Harry, giving him a nervous smile. "Oh God." You whispered to yourself, huffing out before putting a strand of your hair behind your ear, your fingers lacing together in front of you, sheepishly.

Harry gave you a quick peck on the cheek before walking inside the kitchen, clearing his throat to catch his family's attention.

You could almost hear a pin drop. All of their jaws dropped, faces going tint red, looking intently at the new addition. You looked up at Harry for a second before looking back at the ones in front of you. "Hi, I'm Y/N."

"What the fuck?" Gemma was the first to speak, Harry cringing as he squeezed your waist slightly. Gemma's eyes caught her brother's, who widened his green eyes at her before she cleared her throat, drying her hands in the yellow towel on her shoulder before putting it on the chair. "Do I-Do I curtsy?"

"God, please don't," You laughed, moving forward and naturally wrapping your arms around her in a brief hug. "You look a lot like Harry. It's insane."

Still at a loss of words, Gemma awkwardly hugged back, looking at Harry from over your shoulder as he smirked at her, cocking an eyebrow. "You look like-" She cleared her throat, "Like how I see you on the telly."

You chuckled, pulling away, "I'm hoping that's a good thing?"

"Yeah, of course. Of course, it is."

"Excuse my daughter," Anne spoke, moving forward and approaching you with a wide, loving smile. "I'm Anne."

You and Anne hugged, her rubbing your back soothingly as she did. "I've heard a lot about you."

"Good things?" She asked jokingly as you both pulled away.

"The best." You nodded in confirmation.

"It's so nice to meet you." Michal said, leaning down and giving you a greeting hug before looking at Gemma, "Guess your brother isn't so delusional after all, huh?"

"Shut up." She said under her breath, covering her face.

"Let's take this to the living room, shall we?" Anne grinned enthusiastically.

"They're starstruck." Harry leaned down, whispering in your ear.

"I'm more of in awe that I'm meeting them." You giggled, holding his hand that was draped from your shoulder.

"Who got-Oh God, did you-" Anne gasped, looking back at you from the tree.

"It's Christmas. It's also a thank you for making me spend New Year's with you." You smiled warmly, feeling yourself get hotter, “I hope that’s okay.”

"Did I just get a present from the Princess of the United Kingdom?" Gemma asked her boyfriend quietly who tried to stifle his laughter and not burst out laughing before his face fell, looking at one box under the tree, "Yup. She got you one, too."

"I read online that's she's known in the royal family to get the funniest Christmas gifts." He whispered back.

They couple both shared a look before looking at you, laughing at something Anne said. "We did make fun of our Harry, honestly. Sorry, darling."

"I felt very offended, thank you very much." Harry put his hand on his heart dramatically before looking at you, "How was your drive here?"

"Very nice and quiet. That intersection you told me about saved me a lot of time." You pointed at Harry.

"No offense, sweetheart but what do we call you?" Anne asked warmly, “We have never really interacted with someone from the royal family this close before, excuse us.”

"Please, don’t worry. Just Y/N would be great."

"And please call me Anne," Anne pointed at herself, "Oh where are my manners? Are you hungry, sweetheart? We had nice turkey and mashed potatoes."

"Mum makes incredible turkey." Harry said from beside you on the sofa, his hand on your knee.

"Thank you so much, Anne, but I think I'm so full. I managed to get myself pizza on the way.”

“How many slices did you have? You can’t be that full, love.” Harry asked.

“Got a large and finished it all actually,” you shrugged, “But actually, I got us some fine cocoa powder if you fancy a nice hot cocoa cuppa. It's homemade." You grinned, standing up to walk towards your suitcase, "Actually if you don't mind, I can make them."

"Oh, love. You really didn't have to." Anne laughed in delight, watching as you shook your head at her with a warm smile, "Gemma can help you."

"Of course!" Gemma perked up, standing up, "I personally love eating cocoa powder."

You laughed, pointing at her, " Me too! My brothers make fun of me for it all the time."

You and Gemma walked towards your suitcase by the door before you opened it, taking the packet of cocoa from one of the pockets and closing it. Gemma hummed, closing her eyes "It already smells so good."

"Trust me, it's the best you'll ever have." You assured her as you both walked back to where everyone was. Harry leaned his head back on the sofa, looking at you upside down before giving you a childlike wide grin, almost as if he was assuring you that it was going well.

_

Standing in the kitchen with Gemma as you warmed the milk, she cleared her throat, getting you to look at her. You felt nervous, almost as if you were preparing yourself for the talk.

"So, you and little Harold? How did that even happen?" She chuckled, looking at you as she leaned on the counter.

"I've been a fan of One Direction for as long as I remember and I've always, you know, kind of had a soft spot for H. I don't get to go to concerts and shows very often but I went to his show a few months ago after getting in contact with Jeff then I met him. We met then we went to this local bar not far away with the rest of the band and we sort of," you shrugged with a smile, "Clicked."

"I bet he was shitting himself," she laughed, turning off the stove before taking out mugs for you. "From what he told us, you haven't been dating for long."

You nodded, "Almost two months."

"I'm sorry if this is too straightforward but does your family know?" Gemma asked quietly.

"My brothers and their partners know that we're together, yes. Uh, my grandparents and father know something is going on but we kind of had," you gestured with your hands, "A disagreement you can say. They'll come around."

"But you're planning on telling them, right?"

You nodded instantly, "Definitely," you paused, sighing as you looked at her, "I know what you're thinking. I really don't plan on hurting Harry."

"What about your family? Do they not?"

Deciding to not take it to heart, you simply shook your head. "My family won't get in the way of what makes me happy."

"I'm sorry if I come off as a bitch, I just," Gemma stopped, looking at you sympathetically.

"I understand," You smiled, "I'd do the same if I were in your place. You're just looking out for your brother and I truly respect that."

Gemma smiled in gratitude before shaking her head, "God, you sound so posh."

As the night went on and everyone was more comfortable, you were tucked in Harry's side, his arm wrapped tightly around you.

Empty mugs of hot cocoa were proof of the success and so were the smiling faces in the room. Gemma, Anne and Michal sat with their presents on their laps as they waited to unwrap them.

First went Anne, neatly unwrapping the present after complimenting your choice of wrapping paper. Her eyes almost widened at the Versace box, opening the lid slowly as she gasped at what's inside. She took the dress out, holding it at arm's length as she gushed over it. "Y/N! This is gorgeous, sweetheart!" She stood up, holding it over her.

"Ooooo, look at you." Gemma grinned, now feeling over the moon excited to open her present.

"This is a lot, Y/N."

"It's not, I promise. You're letting me stay here for 6 whole days, Anne. It's the least." You truthfully said, giggling when she gave you a kiss on the cheek.

Harry grinned at the interaction, rubbing your arm.

"Okay, my turn!" Gemma exclaimed, unwrapping the present before gasping at the Alexander McQueen box, "Oh God," She laughed, opening it. "Ooooo,"

"I trusted H with the sizes." You informed them, watching as Gemma took out the black and white striped jumpsuit out.

"I love you already." Gemma pretended to wipe her tears, making everyone laugh. "Thank you so much, Y/N." "You're welcome, Gemma. I bet it would look so good with red lipstick." You wiggled your eyebrows.

"You know what? We're going out tomorrow and I'm wearing that." She pointed at you. Gemma sat down, elbowing Michal, "Go on then."

Opening his box after unwrapping it, Michal let out an excited laugh as he looked at the expensive golf watch he remembers telling Gem about it a year ago. "That's massive! Thank you!"

"It's no problem. Harry told me you're really into golf. He helped me with this one." You smiled up at Harry who scrunched his nose.

"Did a great job, mate."

_

You left your hair down as you changed into your pyjamas, walking inside Harry's room. Right as you stepped inside, Harry quickly covered something with the covers, making you stand on the doorway with your hand on your hip. "Got something, Styles?"

"Don't know what you're talking about." Harry shrugged, tilting his head at you with a cheeky grin.

You sighed dramatically, "Guess I just won't give you your present then."

Harry laughed, throwing his head back, "Y/N!" He whined.

"Fine," you chuckled, "Alright I got you a bunch of stuff actually." You took the rectangular box out of your duffel bag, holding it out as you sat beside him on the bed, crossing your legs.

"Okay," Harry breathed out, copying your moves and sitting in front of you with his legs crossed, unwrapping the box. "You have really nice wrapping paper."

"Thank you, I take pride in choosing and wrapping them." You giggled, bringing your knees closer to your chest as you rested your chin on your knee.

The first thing Harry got out of the box was a book that had a cat in front books and a typewriter on cover, the title being "I Could Pee On This" along with "And Other Poems by Cats"

Harry burst out laughing; his eyes shut and his head back as his hand slapped his thigh. "Where did you even find this?!"

You only shrugged in response, grinning at his reaction. "I know you love cats and I thought it might be exactly what you need."

"I definitely needed that. Thank you, baby." He laughed, putting it beside him before taking out the next item. His eyebrows furrowed as he looked at the packet in his hand, reading what was written; "Animal butt magnets."

"When I first came to your house, I noticed your fridge didn't have any magnets so I thought you should add a few there."

Harry laughed, turning the packet to you, "You got me animal butts for me to stick on my fridge?"

You nodded excitedly, hugging your legs, "Precisely!"

"You're absolutely mental." Harry chuckled, leaning forward to peck your lips.

"Now for the grand, real gift!" You exclaimed in a reporter's voice, opening your arms wide.

Harry grinned, glancing at you before closing his eyes and taking the last item out of the box. His eyes fell on his hands, laughing, "Love, is that-" He glanced at you before opening the wallet in his hands, "It's a wallet! You got me a wallet that looks like burnt toast!"

"I love all of them!" Harry laughed, moving until he propped himself up on his knees, cupping your face in his hands as he pressed his lips to yours. "Has anyone ever told you how creative you are with gifts?" You hummed, smiling up at him before glancing at his lips, "Maybe one or two."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah." You whispered back, pecking his lips.

"You might not know it but you've been touching your present all along." Harry chuckled, kissing your temple for a second before taking the box from under the covers.

"H, it's made a fucking lump. Of course I knew it was a present." You laughed, looking at the green wrapped box.

You unwrapped the box, Harry watching nervously and silently admiring how gentle you were while unwrapping the box. "Gucci!" You grinned, looking at him, "That's your favourite."

"I remember you telling me you like something of mine so," he shrugged.

You opened the box, "Loafers! You got me loafers!" You grinned, taking them out, "Are we going to be the cliché couple that match?"

"I think we're cliché enough to do that." Harry nodded. "There's something else in there."

You looked down, taking out the vinyl record in your hands, grinning when you read "Piano Man" and "Billy Joel".

“How on earth did you know I wanted this?"

"Might have had Farrah help me with that one." Harry smiled, shrugging sheepishly.

"You take your Christmas presents seriously, don't you?" You smiled, putting the shoes back in the box before wrapping your arms around his torso.

"Do you have any idea how hard picking a present for you is?" Harry rolled his eyes, groaning as he threw his head back.

"Hey, that goes both ways." You raised an eyebrow.

He laughed, raising his hand to push the hair that got on your face away, "You know what I got us for when we're back at my house? For our board games nights and all that?"

"And the Chinese takeaway?" You asked hopefully, making him chuckle and nod.

"And the Chinese takeaway," Harry confirmed, "I got us about 10 massive puzzle pieces."

You gasped, "You genius! I was actually thinking about getting us a new one."

"And now we have 10."

“And I have Gucci loafers.”

“And I have a wallet that looks like burnt toast.”

“Sorry about that, by the way. I didn’t know you took Christmas presents so seriously.” You sheepishly said, scrunching your nose as you looked up at him.

“Hey, none of that,” Harry frowned, “These are probably the nicest Christmas presents I have ever had. ‘sides,” he held up his wallet and new magnets, “What’s not serious about these babies?”

[causeiwanttoandican]

The Times

Prince William’s close friends on what makes him tick — and why he’s not trapped

March 20 2021, 6:00pm

As the world devours the Harry and Meghan interview, what’s going on with the brother who was left behind? He’s embracing his destiny, William’s close friends tell the Sunday Times royal correspondent, Roya Nikkhah

Next month Prince William will celebrate his tenth wedding anniversary — the day he became a duke and embarked on the most formative decade of his life. Back then, the tentative 28-year-old newlywed was not ready to devote himself entirely to royal duties. A decade on, he is in a very different position.

The job of being the heir to the heir to the throne, of finding a balance between life and duty, is difficult at the best of times. These are not the best of times. In their bombshell interview with Oprah Winfrey this month the Duke and Duchess of Sussex accused the royal family and the institution around it of racism and callous disregard for a suicidal newcomer, among many other damning charges. Harry the spare also declared that William was trapped within “the system … My brother can’t leave that system, but I have.”

In the immediate aftermath of the interview William was “reeling”, a source close to the duke says. “His head is all over the place on it.” Four days after the Sussexes had their say, he hit back during an engagement with the Duchess of Cambridge at a school in east London. Asked about accusations of racism, William retorted with restrained fury: “We’re very much not a racist family.” He also confirmed that he hadn’t spoken to Harry yet, “but will do”. By the weekend it emerged they had “been in contact”.

William is thought to have been less than thrilled a few days later when that conversation made global headlines after the American presenter Gayle King, a close friend of the Sussexes, revealed live on air that it had not been an easy chat: “I did actually call them to see how they were feeling,” she told viewers. “Harry has talked to his brother and he had talked to his father too. The word I was given was that those conversations were not productive.” The intervention prompted a senior royal source to say that “none of the households will be giving a running commentary on private conversations”.

A close friend of both brothers says Harry’s “trapped” comment was “way off the mark”, insisting that William does not see it that way. “He has a path set for him and he’s completely accepting of his role. He is very much his grandmother’s grandson in that respect of duty and service.”

When the Queen turned 90 nearly five years ago William admitted “the challenge” that “occupies a lot of thinking space” is how to “modernise and develop” the royal family, and make it “relevant in the next 20 years’ time”. Twenty years now seems like a very long time. In the hours and days after the Oprah broadcast, William was at the heart of all discussions with the Queen and the Prince of Wales about how to respond to the Sussexes. He was keen that the issue of race should be acknowledged in the Queen’s statement as an area of particular concern that “will be addressed”.

William has always railed against being a “ribbon-cutter royal” and the issues he champions — mental health, battling racism in football, homelessness and his ramped-up eco-warrior role — are a window into where the future King William V will take the House of Windsor. A friend says: “He’s a small-c conservative. He values tradition and the need to go around the country, but he realises he can make a difference beyond traditional royal duties.”

Today royal popularity is, to put it mildly, in a state of flux, but William’s strategy has been working. Post-Oprah, he ranks just below the Queen at the top of a YouGov poll of royals. Not so long ago such a position looked like a long shot, when the “workshy Wills” and “reluctant royal” tags plagued him and he was clocking up fewer days of royal work than his nonagenarian grandparents. Pictures of him hitting the ski slopes and clubs of Swiss resort Verbier in March 2017, missing a Commonwealth service that even the Duke of York flew back for, didn’t help.

After the lasting PR gold dust of the Cambridges’ 2011 wedding and the births of Prince George and Princess Charlotte, it was the first public nosedive for William, who was still working as an air ambulance pilot. “That pissed him off,” a friend says. “He was leaving home at 5.30am, getting home after dark and saving lives in between, but people were still being critical of his commitment to his [other] job.” William was based at Cambridge airport with East Anglian Air Ambulance for two years, where he was on call for “some very sad, dark moments”, often working “on very traumatic jobs involving children”. He later acknowledged that “after I had my own children … the relation between the job and the personal life was what really took me over the edge, and I started feeling things that I have never felt before”. But it was a job he loved, because of “working in a team … that’s something that my other job doesn’t necessarily do. You are more out there on your own.”

A former royal aide says: “Immediately after their wedding he had a very clear idea of the pace at which he wanted to take things.” William was adamant he wouldn’t curtail his day jobs, first as an RAF search and rescue helicopter pilot in Anglesey and then with the air ambulance. “If you’re not careful, duty can weigh you down an awful lot at an early age,” he said, insisting he didn’t “lie awake waiting or hoping” to be king. He delayed full-time royal duties until the autumn of 2017, when, acknowledging the Cambridges’ future required more time at “monarchy HQ”, they moved from Norfolk to London and George started school.

He’d had to fight his corner for the air ambulance role. A source close to William reveals “there were lots of raised eyebrows in the Palace when he wanted to do that. While the Queen and his father backed him, some senior courtiers questioned whether it was becoming of a future king to be doing a middle-class role, hanging out with ordinary people. They thought he wouldn’t stick it out, he’d find it boring, or was doing it out of stubbornness to put off royal duties. He was pretty bloody-minded about it, and determined that other people’s expectations in the media or the system shouldn’t get in the way of his own values.” In the wake of Harry and Meghan’s interview much has been speculated about the extent to which royal life is dictated by Palace officials, but it is clear that William has managed to forge his own path. Who knows how high those senior courtiers’ eyebrows rose in 2019, when William spent three weeks shadowing the spooks of MI5, MI6 and GCHQ to learn how they combat terrorism. He insisted on being called “Will” and lunching in the canteen every day.

Those closest to the duke say his resistance to the idea of full-time royal duties stemmed not only from a desire to achieve something for himself but also from a fear of the impact on his family life. Miguel Head worked alongside the prince for ten years until 2018, as William, Kate and Harry’s communications secretary and later as William’s private secretary. “In his role everyone’s going to tell you you’re marvellous,” Head says. “The RAF and air ambulance jobs were about knowing what his abilities were, what he was good at in his own right. Without that he’d still be hankering for something that was his own.” After children came along he says William developed a “visceral determination to give them a life of consistency and privacy that were missing for large parts of his own childhood”.

Another close aide says the plan enabling the Cambridges to have a few years of “normal” married life, away from the full-time glare of the royal spotlight, paid dividends: “For years, the battles around privacy and paparazzi intrusion were all-consuming. He wanted to know, could we build them a credible plan allowing them a family life while slowly increasing the profile of official life? It took years to get there, but the success of that plan allowed him to be confident and content in his role. He’s not worried about his kids’ privacy any more and he has been able to be the kind of dad he wants to be.”

“Marriage maketh the man,” a friend says. “Catherine’s groundedness has been the critical anchor. And where his relationship with the media was once all fury and frustration, he now understands using the power of modern media, so the public feel they’re getting enough access.”

The children’s birthdays are marked with photographs — often taken by the Duchess of Cambridge — and there has been a noticeable increase in their public appearances of late. While not “officially” staged, William was happy to let George and Charlotte be photographed at their first Aston Villa match with Mum and Dad in 2019. Pandemic set pieces have shown the family clapping for the NHS on the steps of Anmer Hall, their Norfolk home, and, before Christmas, their first red-carpet appearance together for an evening at the panto with key workers and their children.

As they celebrate their anniversary on April 29, friends who joined the Cambridges on their wedding day tell me the partnership’s equal footing is key to its success. “They’ve got a solid relationship and she gives him confidence,” one says. “There is no jealousy, no friction, they are happy for each other’s successes.” In private William talks as passionately about Kate’s work as his own campaigns, and takes pride in her growing confidence on the public stage.

William has said his grandmother’s approach to being head of state is to take “more of a passive role. She’s above politics and is very much away from it.” He doesn’t plan to meddle in party politics, but he was not happy about the unenviable position the government put the Queen in with the 2019 proroguing of parliament, which was later ruled to be unlawful and forced an apology from Boris Johnson to the monarch. Constitutionally the Queen had no alternative other than to act on the advice of her government, but in William’s reign there will be “more private, robust challenging of advice”. His last three private secretaries — Christian Jones, Simon Case, now the cabinet secretary, and Head — had all worked in government departments, helping William to keep his finger on the political pulse. The new incumbent, the Whitehall heavyweight Jean-Christophe Gray, who served as David Cameron’s spokesman, continues in that vein.

The former Conservative leader Lord Hague of Richmond was last year appointed as chairman of the Royal Foundation to develop William’s work on mental health, the environment and a raft of new support programmes for key workers. “People internationally and nationally respect his credibility and knowledge on these issues,” Hague says. “He’s very persuasive. You only see that behind the scenes. He knows what he wants and he goes out to get it.”

Charlie Mayhew, chief executive of the conservation charity Tusk, has known William since he was 20. In 2005 Tusk and Centrepoint, the homelessness charity championed by Princess Diana, were the first patronages William took on. “In those early years I kept having to pinch myself to remember how young he was,” Mayhew says. “He was much more mature than his age and very aware of his destiny coming down the track. He had a sincerity, but never without wicked humour. His teasing is merciless.”

William knows some people see his passion for conservation as a posh man’s part-time hobby, but Mayhew says the duke’s “genuine and huge knowledge” undermines that view. “He’ll call and WhatsApp to flag up something that I haven’t even seen in the conservation space. He can be impatient to get things done.” Last year William launched the Earthshot prize, a £50 million Nobel-style environmental award to galvanise solutions to global problems over the next decade. He believes “conservation and the environment … shouldn’t be a luxury, it’s a necessity”, Mayhew says. “That’s the drum he wants to beat. He’s got a megaphone and wants to use it in the most constructive way. He speaks for that next generation and I think they can relate to it.”

A turning point for William was his 2015 official visit to China, one of the world’s largest consumers of ivory, where he met President Xi and condemned the illegal wildlife trade as a “vicious form of criminality”. Unlike his father, who has refused to visit the People’s Republic over its human rights record and treatment of Tibet, William’s view was that despite the UK’s fractious relationship with China, “we’ve got to engage”.

“It was very political, raising the illegal wildlife trade in China. I’m sure the diplomats were having all sort of nightmares in advance,” says Mayhew, who joined the duke in China. “But he was gathering greater confidence that he had the ability to be a mouthpiece for the issue.” Mayhew reveals that while William was visiting Japan before China, he still hadn’t secured a meeting with Xi. “But when the Chinese saw all the high-level meetings he was having in Japan, they changed their minds and Xi made time for him.” Later that year, as Xi began a UK state visit, William appeared on Chinese television condemning the ivory trade. Two years later China banned the trade.

In 2018 he spent months prepping for his most high-stakes overseas visit yet, to Israel and the occupied Palestinian territories that summer. Navigating the diplomatic tightrope walk between Jerusalem and the West Bank, he visited a Palestinian refugee camp in Ramallah. As he travelled back to Jerusalem, he changed his speech for a reception with young Israelis and Palestinians to strengthen his solidarity with the latter: “My message tonight is that you have not been forgotten … The United Kingdom stands with you.” It was a bold move, but both sides hailed his visit a success and the officials breathed a sigh of relief. To the delight of the travelling press pack, William’s engagements on the final day were brought forward, allowing the diplomat duke and president of the Football Association to land back in the UK in time to watch England’s World Cup tie.

Ask him if he’s a peacemaker and William will laugh, saying Kate is the mediator. But according to a source close to William and Harry, his bridge-building skills were deployed in the lead-up to Harry and Meghan’s wedding in 2018, when tensions in the Kensington Palace household, then still shared by the brothers, were running high: “Every time there was a drama, or a member of staff on the verge of quitting, William would personally try and sort it out.”

As the brothers clashed more over the substance and style of their work, and the family hierarchy that William is a stickler for but Harry is less keen on, a split was inevitable. When they finally divided their households in March 2019, it had been a long time coming. But he never thought that a year later his brother would up sticks for America.

The pair went for a long walk to clear the air after the “Sandringham summit” when the Megxit deal was hammered out, but did not part shores as friends. What upset William the most was Harry and Meghan’s surprise launch of their “Sussex Royal” website before the summit, which featured their blueprint wish list of a part-time, commercial royal future. Later, when the Queen decreed they could no longer use “royal” in their future ventures, their website hit back with this bold statement: “While there is not any jurisdiction by The Monarchy … over the use of the word ‘Royal’ overseas, the Duke and Duchess of Sussex do not intend to use ‘Sussex Royal’ … or … ‘Royal’ …” Both “the content and that it’s still online is staggering”, a senior royal source says. “That was it for William, he felt they’d blindsided the Queen in such an insulting and disrespectful way,” says a source close to him, who reveals it was still at the forefront of William’s mind at the Commonwealth Day service one year ago. It was the Sussexes’ final engagement as working royals, and the froideur between them and the rest of the family was unmistakable.

It is a year since the Sussexes left for California and William misses Harry. “Once he got over the anger of how things happened, he was left with the absence of his brother,” an aide says. “They shared everything about their lives, an office, a foundation, meetings together most days and there was a lot of fun along the way. He’ll miss it for ever.” A close friend says William “definitely feels the pressure now it’s all on him — his future looks different because of his brother’s choices, it’s not easy.” Another friend says: “It’s still raw. He’s very upset by what’s happened, though absolutely intent that he and Harry’s relationship will heal in time.”

After lobbing bombs in his Oprah interview, Harry said: “I love William to bits … We’ve been through hell together … we have a shared experience … The relationship is space at the moment, and time heals all things, hopefully.” Harry would be wise not to set his stopwatch.

The first test will come this summer, when the brothers could be reunited for a series of family engagements including the Duke of Edinburgh’s 100th birthday and the Queen’s birthday parade in June. In July they are scheduled to unveil a statue of their mother at Kensington Palace, marking what would have been Diana’s 60th birthday, an emotionally charged occasion with the world watching.

While a chasm has opened up between the brothers, William has grown closer to the Queen and Prince Charles. He has helped them to navigate their way through Megxit, Prince Andrew’s removal from public life following the Jeffrey Epstein scandal and, now, the Oprah controversy. “That has changed the way the Queen sees him and values his input,” a courtier says. William also feels his relationship with his grandmother has “massively improved” in recent years and their views are “more aligned than ever”.

Friends say there has also been a “renaissance” in William and Charles’s relationship. “As the years passed there were strains imposed by the system — money, work, competition, Diana,” one says. “Part of William’s evolution is that as he has become closer to his father, he sees their similarities. At William’s wedding there was a gag in one of the speeches that he was more like his father than he’d ever admit, which made a lot of us laugh. As their respective destinies get closer, it weighs more heavily on them and strengthens the bond. The rift with Harry has also brought them closer.”

William is said to hate “flummery”, though the role of future king comes with plenty of bowing and scraping. But in 2017, for the first time publicly, he didn’t get his way. As a new parent worried about rising teenage suicide rates, he had spent a year convening a Cyberbullying Taskforce with big cheeses from tech and social media giants including Facebook, Snapchat, Apple, Google and Twitter. He wanted them to adopt industry-wide guidelines creating safer online spaces for children. According to William the meetings at Kensington Palace got “fruity” and the tech giants didn’t come close to the change he wanted. He was furious.

Tessy Ojo, chief executive of the Diana Award youth charity, sat on the taskforce. “He was deeply disappointed,” she says. “He didn’t come into it as ‘the duke’, he gave emotional pleas as a father.” William has since publicly condemned social media giants for their “false choice of profits over values” and privately offered support to the family of Molly Russell, who took her life at 14 after viewing images of self-harm online. Ojo believes it is William’s “lived experience of the fragility of life that guides the work he does”.

It also shapes the way he and Kate are raising their family. William has said he is determined that the grandchildren Diana never knew should “know who she was and that she existed”. He “constantly” talks to his children “about Granny Diana” at bedtime, so that they know “there are two grandmothers in their lives”. Earlier this month on Mother’s Day, Kensington Palace’s social media feeds published George, Charlotte and Louis’s cards paying tribute to “Granny Diana”, revealing it is an annual ritual for the Cambridge children. After a difficult few weeks for William, a line in Charlotte’s card provided poignant insight into how he is feeling: “Papa is missing you.”

He is on course to be a more modern monarch than any before him, but William is still a creature of habit at heart. He has the same tight circle of friends from his schooldays, one of whom says that, with William, “it’s all about trust and loyalty”. He plays five-a-side football in his Villa socks when he can, goes to the Chelsea Harbour Club gym he went to as a child with his mother and has a “smart casual” public uniform of chinos, jacket, blue shirt and no tie.

“William’s not trying to be down with the kids,” a friend says. “He never wants to be painted as irrelevant or dull, though he’s allergic to being compared to celebrities. The public doesn’t always get to see his funny side, but otherwise he’s the same in private as in public. He once said, ‘I’ll be in the public eye all my life. I can’t hide who I am because I’ll be found out.’ ”

In 2019, during a visit to a youth homelessness charity supporting LGBT people, William was asked how he would feel if one of his children was gay. “Absolutely fine,” he replied. “I fully support whatever decision they make, but it does worry me from a parent’s point of view how many barriers, hateful words, persecution and discrimination might come.” Such a personal exchange was a radical departure from royal engagement small talk. But William, the first in his family to be photographed for the cover of a gay magazine, had personally put the issue on the agenda.

As president of Bafta he gave the academy a diplomatic dressing down in his speech at last year’s ceremony, expressing his “frustration” over the lack of diversity: “In 2020, and not for the first time in the last few years, we find ourselves talking again about the need to do more to ensure diversity in the sector and in the awards process — that simply cannot be right in this day and age.” The 2021 nominees announced this month suggest his words hit home.

William “thinks the public look to him to keep royal work looking modern”, a confidante says. “The Queen and Prince of Wales are providing continuity and stability. He’s carving out his own relationship with diverse communities. He sees it all as a way of doing things now that will help a smooth transition when the time comes.”

Since the start of the coronavirus pandemic, as a former frontline worker himself, William has led the royal charge supporting key workers. “Now, more than ever, he knows what his role in public life is, and he sees the value in it,” a close aide says. Chatting to NHS workers in January, William said: “Something that I noticed from my brief spell flying the air ambulance … is that when you see so much death and so much bereavement, it does impact how you see the world … as a … darker, blacker place.” Soon after the first lockdown was announced, the Cambridges’ Royal Foundation launched Our Frontline, a round-the-clock mental health and bereavement service for key workers.

Miguel Head says the future King William will continue to campaign on his big issues: “I can’t see him backing away from causes he’s passionate about. And while he’s not someone who loves ceremony, he knows the importance of it. When he gets the top job he won’t do away with it all. He’s mindful the monarchy represents something timeless that’s above all of us, and many people like the magic and theatre of it.”

Roya Nikkhah

Roya is royal correspondent at The Sunday Times. Over more than a decade she has covered royal events for the BBC, interviewed the Prince of Wales and Prince Harry and presented the films Prince William, Monarch in the Making and Meghan and Harry: The Baby Years.

[celticcrossanon]

Despite fittings, Charlotte's dress still looked big on the top. In the photo below, you can see that Ivy's dress has the best fitting at the waist and in the bodice. The other girls look like they got their dresses off the rack. Compare the bridesmaid dresses to those at the Cambridge or Pippa weddings. Or at Eugenie's, where the all the dresses were fitted, diaphanous and carefully produced.

The quality of the material and fit of MM and the bridesmaids' dresses - and the last minute attention RE the flowers - tells me that MM's Tig day looks were carried by stylists' help. She even wrote a blog post quoting someone else's advice about how to style your coffee table. She couldn't figure that out herself at 30 something? Hence her love of stacked books (groan) and artfully draped tchotchkes. Her fashion sense while with the BRF was more underwhelming.

Even though the Litt sisters were 2 and 3 years older than Ivy, respectively, Ivy has no head wreath and has a completely different hairstyle and flower piece in her hair. She appears to have been styled to be unique and different from the other girls, suggesting seniority. A head wreath is a younger look than flowers on pulled back hair.

She has the same hairstyle as Lady Sarah did as the senior bridesmaid at Prince Charles and Princess Diana's wedding. You'll note that India Hicks wore a head wreath. Meghan's friends report that she knew the details of that wedding well.

This day was to be Jessica's bum moment (apparently she openly showed her Pippa moves in Toronto), and Ivy and her brothers' big day. So of course MM didn't want a future King and future Princess Royal overshadowing Canadian royalty (of the political kind). Sorry to the Canadians reading this. I hope you didn't choke on your breakfast.

Thank you for all this information. I’m afraid I didn’t notice on the wedding day - I was watching for Prince George and Princess Charlotte among the attendants, and that was it. The information above certainly supports the rumours about Meghan’s preferential treatment of Ivy, and if true, that supports the rumours of her horrible behaviour towards Charlotte.

Jessica had an epic fail walking up those steps. I saw her deliberately stick her bum out, and it just looked so tacky and obvious. Having a best friend who behaves like that says a lot about Meghan, and was one of the many warning bells for me at the wedding.

Added: Eugenie’s wedding was amazing, wasn’t it? All the clothes were tailored and fit to perfection, she had tights and socks on the child attendants to protect their feet, the music flowed, she and Jack lit up the chapel with their love for each other - just a perfect royal wedding, coordinated and complete in every detail, and not a hastily thrown together mess like Harry and Meghan’s. IMO, anyway.

[whatdoesshedotothem]

Thursday 22 February 1838

7 20

12 5

fine morning F32° at 8 25 am had just saw down to write to Miss B. Maclean when A- came to call me to breakfast at 8 ¾ - breakfast in about ½ hour – then had Edward in – paid him for the 3 months up to today – talk – I merely regretted the opportunity he had lost of gaining my confidence about the smoking – however he would not tell how it was – asked for his travelling expense (13/. here) said there would be nothing about that – I supposed the same would pay his expense back – engaged for a month from this time or a little longer but the time should not exceed 2 months from this time – he should then go home – then walked to see the Lodge to see Matty and William George Farmer – the latter looks ill – the others better? not up – Charlotte Booth there since Thursday – to help them at a shilling a day paid by A- and me – asked George what time (the groom) he was in his stable – at 6 – right

SH:7/ML/E/21/0046

at my desk at 10 – wrote the above of today – A- with Mr. Horner – called down to Bentley (about the Landymere stone) at 10 10 and stood talking to him in the servants hall till the last 10 minutes A- came and we had him in the little parlour till I came upstairs at 10 50 – he is sadly afraid of being outbid, and very anxious to prevent a public letting – offers to pay down 5/. per yard for 2000 yards a flat of 30 yards along the [?] of the present baring x 60 yards up towards Aspinalls + the additional 200 yards how these were to be taken, not stated – term 5 years – the present baring to be thrown in B- taking all the expense of it upon himself – he wants a communication (a road) opening into the new road – A- said she would write this proposal to Captain and Mrs. Sutherland and let B- know the result when she had received the answer to her letter – had just written the last 7 lines at 11 am and sat down to my letter again – then came Booth – sometime talking to him then to John Booth – then in the stables – then with A- (poorly) till came upstairs at 2 pm B- thought a wall along the road embankment 3ft. wide in the bottom  and 5ft. high would take about 12 loads (not 15 loads as I said) stone (1/2 large ½ small) per rood and they ought to be got at 4d. per load 1 load with another – but if the jenny was wanted for loadening e.g. heavy large masses of rock said as used before then they were worth 6d. per load loadening – from 2 ¼ to 3 40 had finished my 3 pp. to Miss Maclean and written 4pp. of ½ sheet and 1p. of envelope to Lady Stuart ‘Shibden hall – Thursday 22 February 1838. My dear Breadalbane – I was agreeably surprised by the receipt of your long, and interesting letter last night – it gave me great pleasure to find you so assured of my being glad to hear of yourself, and the family – I never forget all your kindness to me at Coll-house; and, with regard to the more especial purpose of your letter, I can only say, I am happy to give you my mite of assistance, and beg you to put down

Mrs. Lister, two copies

Miss Walker, one copy.

Vere told me of the marriage of your niece Mrs. Hamilton whom I perfectly recollect as a beautiful girl ten years ago – I heard, too, by the same means, of your being with your uncle sir Hector, of whose health I sincerely rejoice to hear so good an account – I was not aware that your cottage was on the Quinnish property – I had thought only of the situation you pointed out, near Coll house – but the actual site has many advantages, which I remember perhaps more clearly than might be expected, at this distance of time – I cannot image a nicer plan for all parties than that of you and your 3 elder nieces living together – should your inquiries for a house for Mr. and Mrs. Maclean lead you to York, or anywhere sufficiently within reach of here, I hope you will not forget that, tho’ in the present state of my house I cannot offer you a superabundance of comforts, I can at lease assure you of a sincere welcome – But if your letter is not immediately answered, you will, of course, conclude that I am not at home – I hope to leave here for some part of the continent, in the course of some weeks – yet I have been so often disappointed, that I feel rather in hope than in contrary – It is true that, for the last 3 or 4 years, I have been pretty actively employed, would be agreeable – I beg my compliments to Sir Hector – and believe me very truly yours AL.’ - ‘Miss Maclean, 3 Northwick Terrace, Edgware Road, London’ – had just written so far – and copied my letter to Lady Stuart on a separate paper when not feeling sure A- would let me send it  she came in A- returned at 4 20 – Mrs. AW. better – gave A- my letters to read she made no remark on either but did not seem out of temper - folded and sealed my letters till 4 ¾ and left them for the bag – to Miss Mcl- (vide 2 last lines of last p.) and to ‘the honourable Lady Stuart Whitehall’ undercover to ‘Lord Stuart de Rothesay Carlton house terrace London’ – put my things away and went out at 4 50 no! with A- till 5 ½ and then went out for about an out – at Listerwick a few minutes John Booth took up the oven today in Hartleys cottage which oven belonging to John Oates, was returned to him – the range I have bought of Hartley and left standing – returning home met Booth at the back Lodge gates – stood talking sometime and walked back with him as far as the great sycamore and thence home – he had not seen Mr. Harper but had brought me two parcels that must have been left at the Golden Lion by H- B- to come some day about setting out the back Lodge – more talk about the road-wall (vide line 11 et seq. last p.) – 12 loads 2 horse should do a rood (3ft. wide at bottom and 2ft. at top and 5ft. high)

6 gates (journeys) a day =  6 loads or ½ rood per day = 10/. i.e. per rood (from Hipperholme quarry)

stones getting 6/.

Ditto carting 20/.

Labour moving stuff away and walling 20/.  = 46/. per rood but B- thought it should be done for 45/. per rood one rood with another – for some would be rather better to do – came in about 6 40 – a minute or 2 with A- sent off the 2 letters vid. lines 3 and 4 above dinner at 7 5 – letter from a Mr. Joseph Parratt, Bradford applying for the Stump X Inn for himself and for the situation of farming man for his brother – A- better this evening –tea – read her French – wrote the last 15 lines till 10 ¼ - then read the newspaper while A- cut out frocks for the school – came upstairs at 11 at which hour F25° - fine day

[tabloidtoc]

Star, January 11

You can buy a copy of this issue for your very own at my eBay store: https://www.ebay.com/str/bradentonbooks

Cover Story: Hollywood’s Best and Worst Bosses 

Page 1: Shia LaBeouf currently accused of relentless abuse and sexual battery by his ex FKA Twigs was snapped making out with Margaret Qualley after she arrived at LAX for a solid 10 minutes and holding up traffic -- the PDA session was the first time Shia and Margaret who is the daughter of Andie MacDowell were spotted out in public together but the two got well-acquainted a few months ago rolling around naked for a NSFW music video for a song by the actress’ sister Rainey Qualley a.k.a. Rainsford -- Shia went out of his way to charm Margaret as soon as they met and he wooed her with compliments and gifts and flowers and texts and spur-of-the-moment dates where he’d just show up at her house but her friends are concerned because Twigs’ lawsuit against Shia alleges multiple incidents of abuse including choking her in her sleep and knowingly giving her a sexually transmitted disease -- Shia said many of those allegations are not true and he is in a 12-step program and therapy for PTSD and alcoholism

Page 2: Contents, Prince William and Duchess Kate with kids Prince George and Princess Charlotte and Prince Louis for a Christmas card 

Page 3: Candice Swanepoel in a bathing suit in Miami, Jennifer Garner stepped out to run errands in a mask and an expressive sweater in L.A., Ryan Reynolds cuddled up with a puppy to encourage his Instagram followers to donate to the SickKids Foundation 

Page 4: Friends of Johnny Depp are keeping their distance as he gears up for another ugly defamation trial against ex-wife Amber Heard -- after losing the case against a U.K. newspaper that called him a wife beater and a scathing feature in The Hollywood Reporter that dubbed the star radioactive and his career all but dead, former pals want nothing to do with him -- the likes of Jude Law, Leonardo DiCaprio and Channing Tatum have been backpeddling on Johnny and it’s making him furious but to be fair Johnny had already alienated Leo and Channing by calling them Pumpkin Head and Potato Head and accusing them of having affairs with Amber -- Jude’s indifference cuts the deepest because for a time he and Johnny were brothers-in-arms as they filmed the second Fantastic Beasts movie and from Johnny’s perspective Jude hasn’t lifted a finger to defend him 

Page 5: Mossimo Giannulli’s son is speaking out claiming the fashion designer is being treated harshly at California’s Federal Correctional Institution in Lompoc and Gianni Giannulli took to social media to complain that because of the pandemic his dad has been locked in solitary confinement for one full month and is only let out every three days for a few moments to shower and Gianni, Mossimo’s son from an earlier relationship, is irate that his father is being mistreated and he feels sorry for his dad and doesn’t want to see him languishing in prison however his half sisters Bela and Olivia Jade don’t seem too bothered by it

* At age 74 Susan Sarandon has had it with men -- she said she hasn’t really had a large dating career and in fact hasn’t had a guy in five years and it’s not that she can’t get a man, it’s just that the men she attracts are losers or sub-par in some way -- she is happy hanging out in her NYC apartment but still friends can’t help trying to fix her up because she’s attractive and in phenomenal shape but the problem is she scares guys away; she’s a force they can’t handle 

* Two years after sharing her shock diagnosis with multiple sclerosis Selma Blair is struggling with pain and fear -- she was recently spotted getting emotional outside a West Hollywood cannabis shop and she has turned to medical marijuana to soothe symptoms of the chronic immune-system disorder which can include fatigue, spasticity, walking issues, numbness, weakness, vision issues and pain -- on some days she can’t even get out of bed but she’s trying to stay strong for her son Arthur and smile more for him but it’s been hard 

Page 6: Julianne Hough appears to be sweetness and light but she’s a heartbreaker according to her ex Chuck Wicks who split from Julianne in 2009 -- in a revealing podcast Chuck blasted Julianne saying they were both loving life then out of nowhere you find out that they are not the person you thought they were and you break up -- Chuck admitted that he and Julianne agreed to say their split was amicable but it wasn’t fine and it wasn’t his fault

* After holing up at his Oklahoma spread Blake Shelton and Gwen Stefani are having a blast decorating their 13,000-square-foot $13.2 million new home in the Encino area of California’s San Fernando Valley -- the home sits on 1.6 ultra-private acres behind double gates and extensive walls and features a pool and fabulous views -- inside the engaged pair give each other space: Gwen wants a dance studio and Blake gets his own man-cave with a big screen and high-tech surround sound 

* Star Spots the Stars -- Nicky Hilton, Katharine McPhee Foster, Katherine Schwarzenegger Pratt making dairy-free and plant-based holiday appetizers, Jenna Dewan, Natalia Dyer

Page 8: Big Losers -- these stars shed pounds and got healthy in 2020 -- Jessica Simpson, Rebel Wilson, Kelly Osbourne 

Page 10: Star Shots -- Gwen Stefani on the way to the recording studio in Santa Monica, Jerry O’Connell started his morning off with a fresh mimosa and a kiss from one of his dogs, Jodie Turner-Smith is the first Black actress to play Henry VIII’s ill-fated queen Anne Boleyn in a major U.K. TV series in Emley, UK 

Page 11: Nick Cannon pitched in to help distribute 2000 free meal boxes to the Hollywood Food Coalition

Page 12: Demi Moore in a yellow bow for a selfie thanking readers for checking out her memoir, Paris Hilton kicked back for a Coach campaign reintroducing the early-2000s ubiquitous Swinger bag

Page 13: Derek Hough and his dogs Romie and Luna, Irina Shayk striking a pose 

Page 14: Sofia Vergara during a photoshoot, Real Housewives of New York City alum Kristen Taekman is taking advantage of the California winter weather in a bikini in Malibu, Wells Adams takes out the trash in L.A. 

Page 16: Carrie Underwood showed off her comfy at-home style, Vanessa Hudgens and her favorite condiment, Katherine Schwarzenegger celebrates her dog’s birthday 

Page 17: Vanderpump Rules star Tom Sandoval picked up a holiday-themed centerpiece ahead of Christmas in L.A., Katie Holmes slung a guitar over her shoulder in NYC, Dame Joan Collins dropped by The Jonathan Ross Show in London 

Page 18: Normal or Not? Hailey Baldwin shares a glimpse into her beauty routine -- normal, Tiger Woods’ son Charlie showed off his skills ahead of the PNC Championship -- normal 

Page 19: Pete Wentz playing tennis in L.A. -- normal, Pete Davidson hurt himself a few times while making a scarf -- not normal 

Page 20: Fashion -- stars charm in romantic ruffles -- Keke Palmer, Gwyneth Paltrow, Lupita Nyong’o 

Page 21: Kirsten Dunst, Halsey 

Page 24: Ariana Grande announced her engagement to realtor Dalton Gomez with some celebratory shots and she’s telling everyone how she never thought it was possible to be this happy -- the couple began dating in early 2020 when Dalton helped Ariana find a home in L.A. and things hit the fast track amid the health pandemic which saw the two enjoying quality time together in lockdown and realizing they were a perfect fit because they never fight and are totally in sync about how they look at life -- Ariana went straight into wedding mode already deciding on an intimate outdoor setting in mid-2021

Page 25: Jon Hamm stepped out in L.A. recently with girlfriend Anna Osceola and she was showing off a noticeably rounder midsection and there’s a good chance the two are pregnant because they’ve been actively trying to get into the family way -- though Jon admitted in 2016 that having children isn’t necessarily an imperative Jon may have changed his tune after his year-long relationship with Anna and hitting the big 5-0 in March has him reassessing his life and now having a child has become important to him 

* Mila Kunis and Ashton Kutcher will be camping in style now that they’ve purchased a $140K Mercedes Benz Sprinter and they’re preparing to embark on an adventure  -- with sleeping accommodations for four and a kitchen the spacious luxury vehicle is perfect for the couple and their two kids -- other stars can spend their vacations in five-star resorts but Mila and Ashton prefer to keep things alfresco and it’s a tradition they’ve kept all these years; this is their idea of a perfectly fun vacation

Page 26: Cover Story -- Hollywood’s Best and Worst Bosses -- who’s great to work for and who makes employees’ lives a misery -- Jennifer Hudson -- best

Page 27: Jennifer Lopez -- worst, Rihanna -- best, Kenny Chesney -- best, Mariah Carey -- worst, Gwyneth Paltrow -- worst 

Page 28: Keanu Reeves -- best, Sandra Bullock -- best, Emma Watson -- worst 

Page 29: George Clooney -- best, Ellen DeGeneres -- worst, Guess the Bad Boss 

Page 30: Tom Cruise and Hayley Atwell: Man on a Mission -- amid all the tension on the set of Mission: Impossible 7 Tom has been pursuing his costar Hayley to be his next girlfriend and it seems to be working -- Tom has become very active with the U.K. Scientology Branch and is very taken with English women like Hayley and he’d like to make the U.K. his home base -- handcuffed to each other for several scenes in M:I7 Hayley and Tom were also spotted holding hands when the cameras weren’t rolling 

Page 32: Prince Harry and Meghan Markle’s very L.A. Christmas -- the prince spends the holidays 5000 miles away from the royal family but Meghan’s mom Doria Ragland was on hand for the festivities -- the couple were intending to call Queen Elizabeth on Christmas morning otherwise they were happy to celebrate a low-key holiday 

Page 38: Entertainment 

Page 48: Parting Shot -- Sophie Turner and Joe Jonas suited up to hit the slopes stopping by a local store to pick up goodies before changing into warmer gear in Mammoth Lakes in California -- the couple are familiar faces in the ski town and looking forward they will be able to plan even more snowy getaways now that they’ve listed their NYC apartment for $5.9 million and moved full-time to Encino 

[pridebooks]

It’s Trans Day of Visibility, so have some books!!

Full list of books (with synopses) under the cut.

First picture: Books by trans authors (most also have trans characters)

Memoirs of a Man’s Maiden Years by N. O. Body - "I was born a boy, raised as a girl. . . . One may raise a healthy boy in as womanish a manner as one wishes, and a female creature in as mannish; never will this cause their senses to remain forever reversed." So writes the pseudonymous N. O. Body, born in 1884 with ambiguous genitalia and assigned a female identity in early infancy. Brought up as a girl, "she" nevertheless asserted stereotypical male behavior from early on. In the end, it was a passionate love affair with a married woman that brought matters to a head. Desperately confused, suicidally depressed, and in consultation with Magnus Hirschfeld, one of the most eminent and controversial sexologists of the day, "she" decided to become "he." N. O. Body was identified as Karl M. Baer (he/him).

Spy Stuff by Matthew J. Metzger - Anton never thought anyone would ever want to date him. Everyone knows nobody wants a transgender boyfriend, right? So he's as shocked as anyone when seemingly-straight Jude Kalinowski asks him out, and doesn't appear to be joking.The only problem is ... well, Jude doesn't actually know.Anton can see how this will play out: Jude is a nice guy, and nice guys finish last. And Anton is transgender, and transgender people don't get happy endings. If he tells Jude, it might destroy everything.And if Jude tells anyone else ... it will. Matthew J. Metzger (he/him) is a queer trans man.

I Wish You All The Best by Mason Deaver - When Ben De Backer comes out to their parents as nonbinary, they're thrown out of their house and forced to move in with their estranged older sister, Hannah, and her husband, Thomas, whom Ben has never even met. Struggling with an anxiety disorder compounded by their parents' rejection, they come out only to Hannah, Thomas, and their therapist and try to keep a low profile in a new school.But Ben's attempts to survive the last half of senior year unnoticed are thwarted when Nathan Allan, a funny and charismatic student, decides to take Ben under his wing. As Ben and Nathan's friendship grows, their feelings for each other begin to change, and what started as a disastrous turn of events looks like it might just be a chance to start a happier new life.At turns heartbreaking and joyous, I Wish You All the Best is both a celebration of life, friendship, and love, and a shining example of hope in the face of adversity Mason Deaver (they/them) is nonbinary.

George by Alex Gino -When people look at George, they think they see a boy. But she knows she's not a boy. She knows she's a girl.George thinks she'll have to keep this a secret forever. Then her teacher announces that their class play is going to be Charlotte's Web. George really, really, REALLY wants to play Charlotte. But the teacher says she can't even try out for the part . . . because she's a boy.With the help of her best friend, Kelly, George comes up with a plan. Not just so she can be Charlotte -- but so everyone can know who she is, once and for all. Alex Gino (they/them) is genderqueer.

Starglass by Phoebe North -  Terra has never known anything but life aboard the Asherah, a city-within-a-spaceship that left Earth five hundred years ago in search of refuge. At sixteen, working a job that doesn't interest her, and living with a grieving father who only notices her when he's yelling, Terra is sure that there has to be more to life than what she's got. But when she inadvertently witnesses the captain's guard murdering an innocent man, Terra is suddenly thrust into the dark world beneath her ship's idyllic surface. As she's drawn into a secret rebellion determined to restore power to the people, Terra discovers that her choices may determine life or death for the people she cares most about. With mere months to go before landing on the long-promised planet, Terra has to make the decision of a lifetime--one that will determine the fate of her people. Phoebe North (they/them) is genderqueer.

Power Surge by Sara Codair - Erin has just realized that for the entirety of their life, their family has lied to them. Their Sight has been masked for years, so Erin thought the Pixies and Mermaids were hallucinations. Not only are the supernatural creatures they see daily real, but their grandmother is an Elf, meaning Erin isn’t fully human. On top of that, the dreams Erin thought were nightmares are actually prophecies.While dealing with the anger they have over all of the lies, they are getting used to their new boyfriend, their boyfriend's bullying ex, and the fact that they come from a family of Demon Hunters. As Erin struggles through everything weighing on them, they uncover a Demon plot to take over the world.Erin just wants some time to work through it all on their own terms, but that's going to have to wait until after they help save the world. Sara Codair (they/she) is nonbinary.

Out of Salem by Hal Schrieve - When genderqueer fourteen-year-old Z Chilworth wakes from death after a car crash that killed their parents and sisters, they have to adjust quickly to their new status as a zombie. Always a talented witch, Z can now barely perform magic and is rapidly decaying. Faced with rejection from their remaining family members and old friends, Z moves in with Mrs. Dunnigan, an elderly witch, and befriends Aysel, a loud would-be-goth classmate who is, like Z, a loner. As Z struggles to find a way to repair the broken magical seal holding their body together, Aysel fears that her classmates will discover her status as an unregistered werewolf. When a local psychiatrist is murdered in an apparent werewolf attack, the town of Salem, Oregon, becomes even more hostile to monsters, and Z and Aysel are driven together in an attempt to survive a place where most people wish that neither of them existed. Hal Schrieve (xie/hir) is a genderfluid trans man.

This is Kind of an Epic Love Story by Kacen Callender - Nathan Bird doesn’t believe in happy endings. Although he’s the ultimate film buff and an aspiring screenwriter, Nate’s seen the demise of too many relationships to believe that happy endings exist in real life.Playing it safe to avoid a broken heart has been his MO ever since his father died and left his mom to unravel—but this strategy is not without fault. His best-friend-turned-girlfriend-turned-best-friend-again, Florence, is set on making sure Nate finds someone else. And in a twist that is rom-com-worthy, someone does come along: Oliver James Hernández, his childhood best friend.After a painful mix-up when they were little, Nate finally has the chance to tell Ollie the truth about his feelings. But can Nate find the courage to pursue his own happily ever after?  Kacen Callender (they/them) is a demiboy.

Ninefox Gambit by Yoon Ha Lee - Captain Kel Cheris of the hexarchate is disgraced for using unconventional methods in a battle against heretics. Kel Command gives her the opportunity to redeem herself by retaking the Fortress of Scattered Needles, a star fortress that has recently been captured by heretics. Cheris’s career isn’t the only thing at stake. If the fortress falls, the hexarchate itself might be next.Cheris’s best hope is to ally with the undead tactician Shuos Jedao. The good news is that Jedao has never lost a battle, and he may be the only one who can figure out how to successfully besiege the fortress.The bad news is that Jedao went mad in his first life and massacred two armies, one of them his own. As the siege wears on, Cheris must decide how far she can trust Jedao–because she might be his next victim. Yoon Ha Lee (he/him) is a trans man.

Second pic: Books with trans characters

Gracefully Grayson by Ami Polonsky -  Alone at home, twelve-year-old Grayson Sender glows, immersed in beautiful thoughts and dreams. But at school, Grayson grasps at shadows, determined to fly under the radar. Because Grayson has been holding onto a secret for what seems like forever: “he” is a girl on the inside, stuck in the wrong gender’s body.The weight of this secret is crushing, but leaving it behind would mean facing ridicule, scorn, and rejection. Despite these dangers, Grayson’s true self itches to break free. Strengthened by an unexpected friendship and a caring teacher who gives her a chance to step into the spotlight, Grayson might finally have the tools to let her inner light shine.

Beautiful Music for Ugly Children by Kirstin Cronn-Mills - "This is Beautiful Music for Ugly Children, on community radio 90.3, KZUK. I'm Gabe. Welcome to my show."My birth name is Elizabeth, but I'm a guy. Gabe. My parents think I've gone crazy and the rest of the world is happy to agree with them, but I know I'm right. I've been a boy my whole life.When you think about it, I'm like a record. Elizabeth is my A side, the song everybody knows, and Gabe is my B side--not heard as often, but just as good.It's time to let my B side play.

Symptoms of Being Human by Jeff Garvin - The first thing you’re going to want to know about me is: Am I a boy, or am I a girl?Riley Cavanaugh is many things: Punk rock. Snarky. Rebellious. And gender fluid. Some days Riley identifies as a boy, and others as a girl. The thing is…Riley isn’t exactly out yet. And between starting a new school and having a congressman father running for reelection in uber-conservative Orange County, the pressure—media and otherwise—is building up in Riley’s so-called “normal” life.On the advice of a therapist, Riley starts an anonymous blog to vent those pent-up feelings and tell the truth of what it’s REALLY like to be a gender fluid teenager. But just as Riley’s starting to settle in at school—even developing feelings for a mysterious outcast—the blog goes viral, and an unnamed commenter discovers Riley’s real identity, threatening exposure. Riley must make a choice: walk away from what the blog has created—a lifeline, new friends, a cause to believe in—or stand up, come out, and risk everything.

The Art of Being Normal by Lisa Williamson - David Piper has always been an outsider. His parents think he's gay. The school bully thinks he’s a freak. Only his two best friends know the real truth: David wants to be a girl.On the first day at his new school Leo Denton has one goal: to be invisible. Attracting the attention of the most beautiful girl in his class is definitely not part of that plan. When Leo stands up for David in a fight, an unlikely friendship forms. But things are about to get messy. Because at Eden Park School secrets have a funny habit of not staying secret for long…

Mask of Shadows by Linsey Miller - Sallot Leon is a thief, and a good one at that. But gender fluid Sal wants nothing more than to escape the drudgery of life as a highway robber and get closer to the upper-class—and the nobles who destroyed their home.When Sal steals a flyer for an audition to become a member of The Left Hand—the Queen’s personal assassins, named after the rings she wears—Sal jumps at the chance to infiltrate the court and get revenge.But the audition is a fight to the death filled with clever circus acrobats, lethal apothecaries, and vicious ex-soldiers. A childhood as a common criminal hardly prepared Sal for the trials. And as Sal succeeds in the competition, and wins the heart of Elise, an intriguing scribe at court, they start to dream of a new life and a different future, but one that Sal can have only if they survive.

The Past and Other Things That Should Stay Buried by Shaun David Hutchinson - A good friend will bury your body, a best friend will dig you back up.Dino doesn’t mind spending time with the dead. His parents own a funeral home, and death is literally the family business. He’s just not used to them talking back. Until Dino’s ex-best friend July dies suddenly—and then comes back to life. Except not exactly. Somehow July is not quite alive, and not quite dead.As Dino and July attempt to figure out what’s happening, they must also confront why and how their friendship ended so badly, and what they have left to understand about themselves, each other, and all those grand mysteries of life.

I Was Born For This by Alice Oseman -  For Angel Rahimi, life is only about one thing: The Ark – a pop-rock trio of teenage boys who are currently taking the world by storm. Being part of The Ark’s fandom has given her everything – her friendships, her dreams, her place in the world. Jimmy Kaga-Ricci owes everything to The Ark too. He’s their frontman – and playing in a band is all he’s ever dreamed of doing. It’s just a shame that recently everything in his life seems to have turned into a bit of a nightmare. Because that’s the problem with dreaming – eventually, inevitably, real life arrives with a wake-up call. And when Angel and Jimmy are unexpectedly thrust together, they will discover just how strange and surprising facing up to reality can be.

The Pants Project by Cat Clarke - Whoever wrote the uniform policy decided (whyyy?) that girls had to wear skirts, while boys were allowed to wear pants. Sexist. Dumb. Unfair. “Girls must wear a black, pleated, knee-length skirt.” I bet I read those words a hundred times during summer vacation. The problem wasn’t the last word in that sentence. Skirt wasn’t really the issue, not for me. The issue was the first word. Girls. Here’s the thing: I may seem like a girl, but on the inside, I’m a boy.

[thedeviltohisangel]

Ivy//1

She wrote him a letter. It didn’t have many words but it said everything. Tomorrow, he was jumping into Normandy and she wasn’t sure when she would see him again. If she ever would. She folded it nicely and sealed the envelope, pressing a kiss to it for good luck. With a careful hand, she wrote his name on the front then just looked at it for a moment. She wishes she could say the word out loud. But, long ago, her and Dick had agreed they meant too much. That the words were sacred and shouldn’t be said when they couldn’t truly act on them. But she didn’t know how she was possibly going to say goodbye to him without saying them.

masterlist is my url/writing

accepting requests for this pairing

She wrote him a letter. It didn’t have many words but it said everything. Tomorrow, he was jumping into Normandy and she wasn’t sure when she would see him again. If she ever would. She folded it nicely and sealed the envelope, pressing a kiss to it for good luck. With a careful hand, she wrote his name on the front then just looked at it for a moment. She wishes she could say the word out loud. But, long ago, her and Dick had agreed they meant too much. That the words were sacred and shouldn’t be said when they couldn’t truly act on them. But she didn’t know how she was possibly going to say goodbye to him without saying them.

“There she is! Come to say goodbye to us? Maybe a little kiss for good luck?” Charlotte chuckled at Bill as she made her way across the airstrip all of them were waiting on.

“It’s not goodbye, it’s a see you later.” She’d refused to say goodbye to any of them. Nonetheless, she planted a kiss on his cheek. Red lipstick imprint and all. “I’ll be right behind you.”

“What the hell we gonna do if we get banged up before then?” That was Perco.

“Find one of the medics making the jump.” She had watched all of them jump with envy. It looked thrilling. Like something she shouldn’t be allowed to do nevertheless enjoy. Even worse, they had told her it was inappropriate for a lady to participate. She had gritted her teeth so hard she thought they would crack.

“You’re the only female touch we’ve had in a year. Now they want us to give it up because you’d have to wear pants to jump?” Bill said it more to the universe than he did her.

“You’ve been spoiled. It’ll be good to humble you a bit,” she teased back. She looked away from the group and scanned the horizon looking for the man she had come to find.

“To the left, doll.” She hummed her confusion back. “Winters. He’s to your left.”

“Bet he gets more than a peck on the cheek, right Wild Bill?” She was never at a loss for words but whenever it came to Dick, she was rendered speechless. Her cheeks were redder than the blood that rushed to them and she had to look at her feet in the hopes they had all the answers.

“Now, Joe, you’ve made the lass blush.” George slung his arm over her shoulders. “I’ll distract them while you run,” he said with a glint to his eyes.

“I owe you a beer!” she said with a smile as she took his advice and walked briskly where they had pointed her to. There were a few green tents set up on the side where the officers were looking at maps and using compasses to pinpoint where they were going to be landing once the real thing happened. When she watched Lt. Heyliger walk out, she assumed that was where Dick would be.

“Well, Nix, it looks like-” he stopped when he looked up.

“Sorry to disappoint,” she smirked.

“Charlotte. I thought you’d be knee deep in bandages and morphine.”

“I should be. But I had to see everyone one last time before you go. Make sure they tightened their harnesses and all that.” Her heart felt like it was going to beat out of her chest. Her mind was having trouble stringing together sentences. She wanted to cry and laugh at the same time. 

“Well, I’ll make sure to check myself before they board if that helps.” Dick was in no better shape himself. The compass was trembling in his hands. His mouth was dry and he’d lost the ability to swallow. 

“Here.” She thrust the letter at him unceremoniously. “Don’t open until the war’s over or I’m dead. Whichever comes first.” He looked at her in horror. 

“You’ll be safe. They said…” he cleared his throat, “they said the aid stations would be set up far behind the front line.” That had been the only question he asked at the briefing. Nix hadn’t teased him about it afterwards. 

“Still. For the darkest time only.” He nodded, relenting.

“Thank you.” They stared at each other a few moments longer in a futile attempt to remember every detail. Tears hovered right behind her eyes. Had he always had that many freckles? Had his eyes always been that clear? Had she always had that golden streak in her hair? Had she always looked like an angel?

“Don’t forget to look after yourself while you’re over there, okay?” She wasn’t going to ask him to be safe or be careful because she knew that wasn’t fair. There was no way he could promise her that. There was no chance she would put that on him. “I’ll look you up when I get there.” She turned to leave, not thinking she could hold back her tears for one more moment.

“I want to say it. I want to say it but I…” She turned back. His eyes were glassy too. 

“I know. Me too. But we promised.”

“I would never break a promise. Especially one I made you,” he said with a small chuckle at the end.

“Dick,” she whispered his name in desperation. Just like always, he knew what she needed before she did. She fell into his chest and her head nestled under his chin like it was meant to. That only made her heart hurt worse. “I can’t handle the thought of never seeing you again.”

“Aries himself couldn’t keep us apart.” Because Dick didn’t think he could handle this being the last time he saw her either. Charlotte wasn’t going to make him promise.

“Don’t let any of the French girls woo you away from me,” she said in an attempt to lighten the mood. He let his guard down for a moment and knocked his forehead against hers.

“Not likely.” 

“Hey, I was in the neighborhood-Oh sorry!” They jumped apart as Nix opened the flap to the tent. “Jesus go back to doing whatever you were doing! Ignore me!” He had already asked Dick to name their first born son after him. If only the man would kiss her.

“No, Nix, it’s your turn. I have to go finish inventory anyway.” She hugged the intelligence officer and stood in the opening, one last attempt at soaking it all in.

“See you over there?” Nix asked.

“Neither of you better be stupid enough that you need a nurse. But, in case you are, I’m the only one allowed to stitch you up so I can lecture you while doing it.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“Take care of each other.” She knew if she didn’t leave then, she never would. Like ripping off a bandage, she strolled out of the tent and fought every voice in her head that said to turn back. That told her to tell Dick how she felt. That she’d wait a lifetime for him. That the only future she could bear to think about was one with him in it. But she pushed it all down and marched back to her aid station. She watched the planes take off with the rest of them. Watched as the men she had learned to love as family went to a far away place to defend their country and the idea of freedom. And she prayed to God that if He was sending Dick Winters into hell, He would let her go too.

Charlotte got herself into a good routine. She woke up early, ate less than her share of the rations so she could give some to her favorite patients and then washed it all down with whatever it was they called coffee. Then she went around checking on supply levels, doing her best to make sure there was enough at the aid station and for all the medics on the front line. It was normally about then her name was called. There was no shortage of men being carted in. They were varied in their levels of pain but it struck her more so on how many of them wished to return to the line. Some of them seemed perfectly fine, practically begging her to recommend a medical discharge, when others were telling her to do the bare minimum so they could get back out there with the men. 

“How are the men doing out there?” She had heard whispers about the men of Easy and their capture of the German guns at Brecourt Manor but nothing more than straws.

“We were all pretty spread out in the beginning but now that we are coming together, things are looking up.” Charlotte smiled at the soldier who had been lucky enough to only be nicked by a bullet. Only required a few stitches.

“Well, Private, you’re all good to go. Hopefully we don’t meet like this again,” she said with a smile as she gathered the dirty supplies.

“Thank you, ma’am.” He hurried off quickly and she was left with relative peace and quiet.

“You know, if you want news on Lieutenant Winters, you should just ask.” She turned to see Emma, another nurse.

“No because what if it’s not good news?”

“Either way. Knowing is better than you living your life hoping God will project the answer down onto you.” Charlotte hadn’t said his name since their last night in England. Had kept her ear to the ground in case someone mentioned something but she never out right asked. Maybe Emma had a point. Maybe, if something had happened, she should get it over with and start the process of healing. Maybe the next paratrooper that she saw she would ask about Dick Winters. If she had the courage.

For his part, Dick was being just as stubborn. It was the night after Brecourt, as he made a promise to himself that he would live his life in peace if he made it through, that the letter in his breast pocket felt heavy. None of the nurses looked familiar in the town they were staying in and he hadn’t had the courage to ask if anything knew of Charlotte or had seen her. He was afraid of what the answer might be.

“What’s that? A picture of her?” He looked to see that Nix had joined him.

“Maybe. She said not to open until the war was over or if she…” he just shrugged instead of finishing the sentence.

“Did someone say that? Has no one seen her?” Nix looked around wildly like he would start the manhunt now. 

“Haven’t asked.” He tucked the letter back inside his jacket. She was stronger than whatever it was the world was going to throw at her. Of course she made it. She had to. He would know in his heart if she hadn’t.

“It’s been a long couple of days,” Nix mentioned as he watched Dick, “you should get some sleep. Carentan is next. Not going to be easy.”

“Yeah, you do the same.” They both managed a half smile. Too tired for anything more. Nix went to leave but stopped and turned back.

“Dick?” The man in question turned as a way of answering. “You’ll see her again. Things like that...it’s meant to be.” 

“You’re lucky you just caught the ricochet,” Roe muttered as he pulled the bullet from Winter’s ankle. It dropped in the metal tray in a satisfying clink.

“Nothing too bad?”

“No. You gonna be able to stay off of it for a bit?” The sound of guns going off in the distance told Dick that he couldn’t.

“Doesn’t look like it.” Roe smiled.

“Stay here while I get the sutures.” Dick looked back down at the bullet. So small but so much damage. At least not to him. Maybe luck did have something to do with it.

“I’m going to go see if the surgeon needs any help, if things pick up back here just holler.” That voice. He would know it anywhere. It was like music to his ears. Home in a faraway land. Water in the desert. A balm against the rough rhetoric of war. “Dick?” Because she would know that face anywhere. It was a light in the dark. A warm mug of coffee on a rainy morning. The smell of your favorite food as you walked down the street holding hands with someone you loved. 

If all around them was hell, they’d cut out their own slice of heaven. Right her. In an aid station in Carentan.

[xtruss]

Philip, In Role With No Job Description, Was Queen’s Bedrock

— By Jill Lawless And Gregory Katz | AP | Friday April 04, 2021

LONDON (AP) — When Prince Philip married the heir to the British throne, he knew he was stepping into virtually uncharted territory.

There was no official role for the husband of a sovereign queen, no constitutional duty or legal responsibility.

“There was no precedent,” he said when he turned 90. “If I asked somebody, ‘What do you expect me to do?’ They all looked blank. They had no idea.”

His wife Elizabeth knew exactly what she had to do when she became queen in 1952 after the premature death of her father, King George VI. For Philip, though, her ascension to the throne marked the end of his career as a naval officer and a plunge into uncertainty.

But at that crucial moment, he carved out the part he would carry through the decades: the queen’s honest and unwavering bedrock of support through a turbulent reign in which the thousand-year-old monarchy was forced to reinvent itself for the 21st century. It was a role the Duke of Edinburgh played until his death Friday at age 99.

His marriage both defined and constricted his life, placing the irascible, tough-minded Philip three steps behind the queen in public, even if he played a significant role at home, including in raising four children.

His life spanned nearly a century of European history, starting with his birth as a member of the Greek royal family and ending with him as the longest serving consort in British history, surpassing Queen Charlotte, wife of King George III.

He was known for his occasionally deeply offensive remarks — and for gamely fulfilling more than 20,000 royal engagements to boost British interests home and abroad. He headed hundreds of charities, founded programs that helped British schoolchildren participate in challenging outdoor adventures.

Philip saw his sole role as providing support for his wife as she confronted the changing demands placed on a constitutional monarch who began her reign as Britain retreated from empire and steered the monarchy through decades of declining social deference and U.K. power into a modern world where people demand intimacy from their icons.

In the 1970s, Michael Parker, an old navy friend and former private secretary of the prince, said of him: “He told me the first day he offered me my job, that his job — first, second and last — was never to let her down.”

The queen — a very private person not given to extravagant displays of affections — once called him “her rock” in public.

In private, Philip called his wife Lilibet; but he referred to her in conversation with others as “The Queen.”

Over the course of the decades, Philip’s image changed from that of handsome, dashing athlete to arrogant and insensitive curmudgeon. In his later years, the image finally settled into that of droll and philosophical observer of the times, an elderly, craggy-faced man who maintained his military bearing in public despite a host of ailments.

Not content to stay on the sidelines, he promoted British industry and science, espoused environmental preservation long before it became fashionable, and traveled widely and frequently in support of his many charities.

In those frequent public appearances, Philip developed a reputation for being impatient and demanding and was sometimes blunt to the point of rudeness.

Many Britons appreciated what they saw as his propensity to speak his mind, while others criticized behavior they labeled as racist, sexist or out of touch.

In 1995, for example, he asked a Scottish driving instructor, “How do you keep the natives off the booze long enough to pass the test?” Seven years later in Australia, when visiting Aboriginal people with the queen, he asked: “Do you still throw spears at each other?” On one visit to a military barracks, he asked a sea cadet instructor if she worked in a strip club.

Many believe his propensity to speak his mind meant he provided needed, unvarnished advice to the queen.

“The way that he survived in the British monarchy system was to be his own man, and that was a source of support to the queen,” said royal historian Robert Lacey. “All her life she was surrounded by men who said, ‘yes ma’am,’ and he was one man who always told her how it really was, or at least how he saw it.”

Lacey said that during the royal family’s difficult times with Diana, Philip spoke for the family with authority, showing that he did not automatically defer to the queen despite her position as monarch and head of state.

Philip’s relationship with Diana became complicated as her separation from Charles and their eventual divorce played out in a series of public battles that damaged the monarchy’s standing. It was widely assumed that he was critical of Diana’s use of broadcast interviews, including to accuse Charles of infidelity.

But letters between Philip and Diana released after her death showed that the older man was at times supportive of his daughter-in-law.

After Diana’s death in a car crash in Paris in 1997, Philip had to endure allegations by former Harrods owner Mohamed Al Fayed that he had plotted the princess’s death. Al Fayed’s son, Dodi, also died in the crash.

During a lengthy inquest into their deaths, a senior judge acting as coroner instructed the jury that there was no evidence to support the allegations against Philip, who did not publicly respond to Al Fayed’s charges.

Philip’s final years were clouded by controversy and fissures in the royal family.

His third child, Prince Andrew, was embroiled in controversy over his friendship with Jeffrey Epstein, an American financier who died in a New York prison in 2019 while awaiting trial on sex trafficking charges.

U.S. authorities accused Andrew of rebuffing their request to interview him as a witness, and Andrew faced accusations from a woman who said that she had several sexual encounters with the prince at Epstein’s behest. He denied the claim but withdrew from public royal duties amid the scandal.

At the start of 2020, Philip’s grandson Prince Harry and his wife, the American former actress Meghan Markle, announced they were quitting royal duties and moving to North America to escape intense media scrutiny that they found unbearable.

Britain’s Prince Harry talks to Prince Philip as members of the Royal family appear on the balcony of Buckingham Palace, during the Trooping The Colour parade, in central London on June 14, 2014. (AP Photo/Lefteris Pitarakis)

Last month, they gave an explosive interview to Oprah Winfrey, saying that Meghan had suffered neglect and racist attitudes while a working member of the family, though Winfrey later said Harry told her one particularly hurtful remark did not come from either of his grandparents. The palace called the issues raised by the couple “concerning” and said they would be “addressed by the family privately.”

Born June 10, 1921, on the dining room table at his parents’ home on the Greek island of Corfu, Philip was the fifth child and only son of Prince Andrew, younger brother of the king of Greece. His grandfather had come from Denmark during the 1860s to be adopted by Greece as the country’s monarch.

Philip’s mother was Princess Alice of Battenberg, a descendant of German princes. Like his future wife, Elizabeth, Philip was also a great-great-grandchild of Queen Victoria.

When Philip was 18 months old, his parents fled into exile in France. His father, an army commander, had been tried after a devastating military defeat by the Turks. After British intervention, the Greek junta agreed not to sentence Andrew to death if he left the country.

Philip went to school in Britain and entered Dartmouth Naval College as a cadet in 1939. He got his first posting in 1940 but was not allowed near the main war zone because he was a foreign prince of a neutral nation. When the Italian invasion of Greece ended that neutrality, he joined the war, serving on battleships in the Indian Ocean, the Mediterranean and the Pacific.

On leave in Britain, he visited his royal cousins and, by the end of war, it was clear he was courting Princess Elizabeth, eldest child and heir of King George VI. Their engagement was announced July 10, 1947, and they were married Nov. 20.

Then, in 1952, King George VI died of cancer at age 56.

Philip had to give up his naval career and his subservient status was formally sealed at the coronation, when he knelt before his wife and pledged to become “her liege man of life and limb, and of earthly worship.”

The change in Philip’s life was dramatic.

“Within the house, and whatever we did, it was together,” Philip told biographer Basil Boothroyd of the years before Elizabeth became queen. “People used to come to me and ask me what to do. In 1952, the whole thing changed, very, very considerably.”

Said Boothroyd: “He had a choice between just tagging along, the second handshake in the receiving line, or finding other outlets for his bursting energies.”

So Philip took over management of the royal estates and expanded his travels to all corners of the world, building a role for himself.

Since 1956 he had been Patron and Chairman of Trustees for the largest youth activity program in Britain, the Duke of Edinburgh’s Award, a voluntary, non-competitive program of practical, cultural and adventurous activities for young people that exists in over 100 countries worldwide.

He painted, collected modern art, was interested in industrial design and planned a garden at Windsor Castle. But, he once said, “the arts world thinks of me as an uncultured, polo-playing clot.”

In time, the famous blond hair thinned and the long, fine-boned face acquired a few lines. He gave up polo but remained trim and vigorous.

To a friend’s suggestion that he ease up a bit, the prince is said to have replied, “Well, what would I do? Sit around and knit?”

But when he turned 90 in 2011, Philip told the BBC he was “winding down” his workload and he reckoned he had “done my bit.”

The next few years saw occasional hospital stays as Philip’s health flagged. He announced in May 2017 that he planned to step back from royal duties — after roughly 22,000 royal engagements since his wife’s coronation.

Philip is survived by the queen and their four children as well as eight grandchildren and 10 great-grandchildren.

— Katz and Associated Press writer Robert Barr contributed to this report before their deaths.

[kashilascorner]

2, 4, 11 and 15? 👀✨💓

🥰✨

2. have you ever found a writer who thinks just like you? if so, who?

Academically not because I base my own thinking in what I read from other authors and from other opinions/commentary on them and from there, I pick and chose what I agree on and to what extent.

With literature writers, it's probably the same. I share some thoughts with some authors but I don't think I can say there's someone who thinks just like me and that's good. I don't really think about the authors I read in those terms, more like what do they have to say about art, life, society...(not the other way around)

4. do you like your name?  is there another name you think would fit you better?

I do really like my name! I think it's pretty, and I like the meaning (with Laura basically equivalent to victorious), though I don't know if I'll live up to it 😅 also, not fit better, but I like Layla though becauss it sounds kind of similarbut the meaning (night) is lovely, so I went by that name for some time (hence why it's also on my bio here)

11. describe your ideal day.

(This got LONG omg)

I wake up early but not terribly early (let's say 8am). I have a nice breakfast with tea, fruits and eggs or fresh bread. It's a nice day, either a cool spring day or a warn autumn day. There's sun in the sky but it does not itch. I spend the morning in downtown Madrid, probably. Other city can do if I'm traveling obviously. It's not a weekend. I walk a lot in the park (or do some sightseeing if in any other city), then visit a museum preferably classic art. I might visit some cool place like a cathedral. Then I meet with a loved one for lunch. It might be a friend, but it can be a date too. We have a good meal in some cool place, preferably one they recommend. Then we go around walking, maybe do some shopping, maybe go to a nearby place that I haven't seen yet. We go to a market, smell the fruits and the flowers and feel the sun and the people. We engage with whatever is going on: street performers, touristic tours, visit houses, go to the forest, play games, feed birds, go to a spa... Then have dinner in this new town/part of town, somewhere we have never been in. Then we go clubbing a bit, have a couple beers but not too much and we dance and laugh and then we walk the streets at night together till sunrise surprise us.

15. five most influential books over your lifetime.

Hmmm this is hard but I think these will do:

-The Grimm Fairy Tales / The Bible for kids : I know I'm cheating here, but keep up with me. Both of these deeply impressioned me asa child. My mom read me tales, and as soon as I could read, I read them too. These two were beautiful illustrated editions that I still love with all my heart.

-1984 by George Orwell: nothing much to say here. Impactful in many ways, possibly shaped my sociogical thinking in ways I'm not even fully aware of

-Madame Bovary by Gustave Flaubert: look this book TERRIFIED me because 17 year old me really saw herself reflected in Emma rip

-American Gods by Neil Gaiman: shaped/put into words a lot of my own views of how systems of belief work and what faith means and what ideas are made of before I was able to truly express such things. Plus, it's a fantasy book with adventures so!

-Thirteen reasons why by Jay Asher: not getting into the author or the adaptation which I have not eatched but this book genuinely made me think of how what we do affects others.

And I'm adding a short story: The yellow wallpaper by Charlotte Perkins Gilman

Honorable mentions: Palabras envenenadas by Maite Carranza (first narrative without dialogues I ever read, a sordid ya about abuse and there's a sentence about how words shape us as humans that still haunts me to thai day), Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov (another terrifying book and possibly the one that sparkes my interest in writing characters that simply aren't good people and also unreliable narrators!), A clockwork orange by Anthony Burgess (blew my mind away around at the same time as 1984), The red tent by Anita Diamant (read it last year and went straight to one of my favorite books ever), The prince by Niccolo Machiavelli (I WILL defend this book to my last breath ok. How can somethinf be so famous and yet so misunderstood is just), Antología poética del Grupo del 27 ed. Vicente Gaos for editorial Catedra (got me interested in poetry for real)

[princegeorgeofwales]

Prince William expresses fears for his children's future

The Duke of Cambridge speaks about how fatherhood has changed him in the new film

The Duke of Cambridge has called on humanity to "speed the pace up" and tackle the growing environmental threat to the planet.

Speaking in an upcoming ITV documentary, Prince William: A Planet For Us All, the Duke appeared to express his fears about being branded "ahead of his time" about environmental issues in future, as he urged people to "get on top of it" and "be more vocal and more educational about what's going on."

In the film, which is due to air on Monday 5 October, Prince William pays tribute to his grandfather the Duke of Edinburgh and father the Prince of Wales for their work supporting the natural world.

He says: "My grandfather, my father, have been in environmental work for many years. My grandfather's well ahead of his time. My father, ahead of his time."

William adds: "And I really want to make sure that, in 20 years, George doesn't turn round and say, ‘are you ahead of your time?’ Because if he does, we’re too late."

In a clip released last week, the Duke shared that he has "always loved nature" but said that fatherhood has given him a "new sense of purpose".

"Now I have got George, Charlotte and now Louis in my life – your outlook does change. You want to hand over to the next generation, the wildlife in a much better condition," the Prince remarked.

"I always believe it is possible to give young people hope and belief that things can get fixed. I have the belief that if we all work together, we can make a difference."

William has been filmed over the past two years in the UK and countries such as Pakistan and Tanzania for the ITV documentary Prince William: A Planet For Us All, which charts his journey from passionate conservationist to wanting to play a greater global leadership role on the environment.

The documentary captures the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge as they are shown the effects of global warming at the Hindu Kush mountains, where glaciers are melting at record speed, during their royal tour of Pakistan in October 2019.

Kate says: "Everyone's asking all of us to protect the environment and what comes first is actually just to care about it in the first place. And you’re not necessarily going to care about it if you don’t know about it and that’s why we thought it was so important to come here."

William adds: "It's a huge environmental and humanitarian disaster. And yet, we still don't seem to be picking up the pace and understanding it quick enough.

"And I think the young are really getting it. And the younger generation are really wanting more and more people to do stuff and want more action.

"And we've got to speed the pace up. We’ve got to get on top of it and we need to be more vocal and more educational about what's going on."

- Hello Magazine