#they get poor eyesight from donald

[tabl3]

when two of your brothers are blind

[booman86]

Daryl Stand Up To Bully

Riverside High School

Bullying can happen to anyone at any time, at any place. High School is where Bullying commonly happens in most cases. Popular presses the unpopular, brawny go after the brainy. Enter the young lady Kea who had moved into town with her family and had been registered to AHS. Kea was extremely shy and soft spoken, she usually kept to herself and mainly stayed in the background and out of anyone's line of eyesight. Being in a new area wasn't easy to adapt for Kea, not only did she have to get used to a whole new school but also learn how to interact with others that were all around her. Her father was an ex-military man and he instilled strong morals in his daughter from the get-go.

On the opposite side of the spectrum was the all-around pains in the ass of Riverside High. Karen the rich snobbish spoiled little brat. Some people hate her but at the same time they still want her to like them. She is an evil genius, a bully, and a manipulator who loves to make fun of poor people. She is just a really angry girl who had no boundaries or guidance. She is also the girlfriend of douche number two and star of the football team Donald. He constantly bullied anyone who wouldn't fight back against him.

Enter the Archer's family. Nancy Flower Archer famously known as the 50-foot woman had over time grown in size reaching well over 130 ft and would've become a mother to a young human sized son named Terry Archer and an equally towering brunette daughter named Daryl Archer and adopted mother to her adopted daughter Elsa Gilmore who is attended college at Florida University. Nancy was a very loving mother who loved spending time with her children. They were never alone, always with other people present so that they could be protected. Terry and Daryl along with Daryl's boyfriend Alucard were the polar opposites to Donald and Karen. Donald usually gives Terry a hard time when he was on the Basketball team and was getting more attention than Donald himself. However, Alucard usually steps in and confronts Donald and gets him to back off, while Daryl is usually intimidating in her own right thanks to her giant size.

Donald and Karen then set their sights on picking on new student Kea who was busy talking with the school janitor for directions for the school. "Well now looky here," said Donald. "The new kid has made friends with the freak." The entire class laughed at this remark, but it didn't stop there. It soon turned into someone shoving her and Donald and Karen following suit by doing the same thing. "P-please leave me alone," said Kea. "Yeah right, you think we're stupid," replied Donald. "What if I wanted to mess with you?" asked Karen. "You won't get away with this!" yelled Kea. Donald and Karen laughed. "If you don't shut up, you'll see what I'm going to do with these hands!" yelled Karen. "Come on Karen, let's get her!" said Donald. Kea runs off crying with the two hots on her trail.

As Kea runs through the halls, she then ducks into a nearby broom closet to hide from her tormentors. Kea looks around to see if she evaded her bullies. However, she hears a loud cough. There, standing in front of her is Karen. "Going somewhere you little bitch," said Karen with an evil smirk on her face. Kea was about to run but Donald was right behind her and grabbed her. "LET ME GO!!" Shouts Kea. Karen just laughs and pulls her closer. "I bet you're really scared aren't you," said Karen. Kea tries to escape again. Donald keeps her from escaping. "Stop it! Please stop it!" says Kea. "Oh please, I'm just warming up!" said Karen. Suddenly Karen pulls out a pair of scissors and proceeds to cut Kea's hair off. After several students laughed at her, and took pictures of her with their phones, she was left crying her eyes out. Karen ran past Alucard who will get his book at the locker. Alucard hadn't paid any attention, but he had a bad feeling that something had happened to Karen. The Bullying continued over time, for weeks on end. Kea, who had to wear a hat to cover up her clipped-up hair, was always in the duo's sights. But they never hurt her physically, they only tried to humiliate her and call her ugly.

On one particular day, Donald and Karen walked past Kea and then pretended to trip her. Then they laughed loudly. This time the bullying escalated when the duo decided to throw a ball of paper at her. Fortunately, she dodged it. However, the next time they threw it, she couldn't dodge it. The ball hit her right in the face, leaving her with a black eye. This bullying had then gotten the attention of Alucard and Terry. "This is terrible," said Alucard. "We need to help her. But what can we do?" asked Terry. "Well, I have a plan," said Alucard. "What is your plan?" asked Terry. "I think it's time we teach those little bastards a lesson," said Alucard. "Let's go tell Daryl about this too," said Terry. Later on in the day Kea was nursing her eye with an ice pack sniffling. Just then she sees a huge shadow looming over her. She looks up and thinks it's Donald and Karen coming after her again.

"Oh no please leave me alone!!" Screamed Kea. "Whoa whoa, easy there! I'm not going to hurt you." Said the voice Kea then looks up to see that it wasn't her two tormentors but rather Daryl looming above her with Terry and Alucard on her shoulder. "Oh my God," whimpered Kea. "I know. I get that a lot around here," said Daryl. "Sorry I-I didn't mean it like that, it's just that I never seen anyone like you," said Kea. Daryl then smiles at her.

"That's okay, it's fine I get that all the time too." said Daryl. The two then share a laugh with each other. "My name is Kea," said Kea. "My name is Daryl Archer, and those two over here are Terry my brother and Alucard my little boyfriend," said Daryl pointing to Terry and Alucard. "Wait Archer? As in Nancy Archer!?" Kea asked. "Yes, as in Nancy Archer, she's our mother," said Terry. "Wow," said Kea. "I've never met the famous Archer family before," said Kea. "Well, you will if you stick around here long enough. Said Daryl smiling. "I bet you're the talk of the school," said Kea. Daryl giggled a little before she told Kea she attended homeschool. The only reason she attended homeschool was because of her size. Because the school is afraid that she could cause a lot of damage.

"I wish I could be as popular as you were." said Kea as she had gotten a saddened look on her face. "Hi, I'm not that popular. Most people would run from me at the first sight they see me," said Daryl. "Well, I'm new in town and I'm having a hard time trying to find some friends plus I had a less than stellar welcoming party," said Kea. "Oh, I know all about Tweddle Dick and Tweddle Cheese harassing you constantly, Terry and Alucard told me all about it," said Daryl. "Yeah, Donald used to go after me all the time when I joined the Basketball team," said Terry. "Until I stepped in to check his ass," said Alucard. Daryl asked Alucard how he stopped Donald from bullying Terry. Which Alucard told Daryl he began to troll Donald every day at school. Stealing wheels off his brand-new Corvette, pulling pranks on them in school and beating him in wrestling doing PE class. "And Karen is an annoying little pest as well that needs to be humbled constantly," said Daryl.

"Anyway, how about you come by our house next Saturday? You won't regret it," said Daryl. Terry then writes up their address on a piece of paper. "OK, thanks," Kea said. "And don't worry about Donald and Karen, we'll make sure to keep them off of your back," said Alucard. They then gave Kea a hug goodbye. "You guys are the best," said Kea.

The next week, Kea came to school and saw Daryl and Terry standing outside of the front gates. She was so happy to see them. And she was really glad that they hadn't forgotten about her. "Hey there," said Daryl. "How are you doing?" asked Terry. "Doing great thank you," said Kea. Kea then took off her hat. "Hey, your hair is starting to grow back," said Terry. "Yep!" Said Kea. "It looks nice," added Daryl. "Thanks Daryl," said Kea. "So, you're ready for tomorrow?" Asked Daryl. "Yeah, but what do you guys have planned?" Asked Kea.

"Oh, you'll see," said Daryl. "OK, I gotta go to my class now I'll see you later," said Kea. "Bye Kea, said Terry. "OK did you manage to send out the invites for tomorrow?" Asked Daryl. "Already handled," said Terry. "And as added insurance we sent fake invites to Donald and Karen," said Alucard. "Good work we don't need those two messing around," said Daryl.

The Weekend had finally arrived and Kea who was wearing a bright yellow dress and grey coat was on her way to the Archer home. "This must be the place," Kea, who had just arrived at the address and saw multiple cars outside. "This place is huge!" Kea said to herself as she saw the mansion that was home for the Giantess. The door opens and Kea is greeted by the towering mother of Daryl, Nancy Archer herself! "Oh, hello there, you must be Kea," said Nancy crouching down. "Oh my, I never knew that you were this big," said Kea looking up at the former 50-foot woman. "Come in come in Daryl is waiting for you," said Nancy who then carries her inside.

Once inside the Mansion, Kea is welcomed by many people. All of the people were dressed in formal attire and looked extremely handsome and beautiful. "Wow! This is quite the party!" said Kea. "What's going on here?" asked Kea as she came closer to one of the men. He turns around and greets Kea. Daryl then arrives and walks over to Kea. "Hey you made it!" Said Daryl happily. "Yeah, but what's the party?" Asked Kea. "This party is all for you, consider it a welcoming party!" Said Daryl. Kea was overwhelmed and almost on the verge of crying, by Daryl's kindness to her after dealing with Karen and Donald constantly this was a great change of pace for her.

Daryl then takes Kea to the party area where people are dancing in circles and having fun. There were also tables with food and drinks. "This is amazing," said Kea. "I love parties like these," said Kea. "Welcome to the Archer's world, enjoy yourself!" said Daryl. "I will!" said Kea. Kea then sees Daryl sitting next to his mom. While Alucard is laying down on her leg. She goes over and sits beside them. "Hello Kea, how are you holding up?" Asked Nancy. "Great actually." Said Kea. "I'm really enjoying the party."

Meanwhile, right outside the Archers home Donald and Karen had arrived only to find that they were locked outside and kept from the party. "Damn it! That big bitch tricked us into going in circles!" Said Karen. "And there's a huge party going on inside without us!" Donald added. They pick in on the party and see Kea dancing with several people. "So, the little nobody is the life of the part huh?" Sniped Karen. "Well come next week. We're going to knock her and Gigantic the sex bitch down a peg!" Said Donald. After telling about what happened to Kea and the gang, Donald and Karen walked away angered. They weren't able to enter the party because the Archers had locked them out and there was no other way in.

The party continued with many people dancing and enjoying themselves. There was also a band playing music which caused everyone to dance even more. Not only that but Alucard's cousin Mizuki was also performing with the band. "Oh my God. Is that really Mizuki performing?" said Kea. "Yeah. She's Alucard's cousin," said Terry. "I didn't know his cousin was a famous J-Pop singer," said Kea. It was a great time and Kea was having a blast. After some time had passed, Kea was walking through the party with Nancy Archer. "Thank you for inviting me to this wonderful party Mrs. Archer," said Kea. "Oh, please call me Nancy," replied Nancy. "Ok Nancy, I appreciate it," said Kea. "So, Kea, Terry tells me, are you a good student?" Asked Nancy. "Yes, I am Mrs. Archer," answered Kea.

"Is there anything else you'd like to talk about?" Asked Nancy. "No, I mean yes, well...," said Kea. "You want to say something?" Asked Nancy. "Well, um...," said Kea. "Speak your mind," said Nancy. "Well, I kind of feel like I'm not good enough for you guys," said Kea. "Why?" Asked Nancy. "Because you're so tall and everybody seems to look up to you!" Kea said. Nancy looked at Kea and smiled. "Oh, my dear Kea, I don't care about height or size. You are a person and a human being, and I have always treated you as such," said Nancy. "That's good to hear," said Kea. "Now let's get back to the party," said Nancy as she carried Kea back.

A new week had just begun, and Kea was happy to be headed to school. Daryl's kindness had lifted her spirits up in the best way. As she arrived at school she was met with many kind and friendly greetings from a lot of the students there. She was then met by Alucard, Terry and of course Daryl. "Hey Kea," said Daryl. "Hi guys," said Kea happily. They all head off to their first class of the day.

After school Kea's group goes to the library. "I know why I was invited to this party," said Kea. "What do you mean?" Asked Daryl as she was talking to Kea through the window. "My friends think I'm not good enough for you guys," said Kea. "Oh, but we both know that isn't true," said Daryl. "I mean it's just so nice to have someone who cares about me, instead of just being cruel to me," said Kea. "I didn't realize you felt that way," said Daryl.

Kea then looks up at him smiling. "Well, thank you Daryl, it means a lot to me," said Kea. "Anytime my dear," said Daryl. "I think I'll go find some books now," said Kea. She then walks towards the shelves.

Everyone was shocked when they saw Kea walk past them. However, trouble hasn't ended yet as Kea was about to head on to lunch a bright red sports car speeds by and in the process splashes mud all over her. The car it was owned by none other than Karen and Donald. Daryl, Terry, and Alucard had saw the whole thing and go over to intervene. "Oh, I'm sorry did we splash you mud slug!?" Said Karen in a sarcastic tone. "That's for not inviting us to that fat big, butted bitch's party!" Added Donald. "Why are you always after me? I've done nothing wrong to you," said Kea. "Because you little mutt we're the king and queen of this school and there's nothing you can do about it!" Said Donald. Donald walks up to Kea and grabs Kea by the arm. "HI! Let me go," said Kea and she tried to pull away from Donald. Donald just laughs at her as he seems to enjoy seeing Kea suffer. "You're. . . you're hurting me," said Kea. Oh, I'll show you what hurting is," said Donald. Donald was about to strike Kea in the face. Until Alucard grabs Donald by arm forcing him to release Kea.

"You're ok Kea," asked Alucard. Kea numbs her head. Alucard stares at Donald as Alucard's eyes begin to turn red. "You have a lot of nerve to put your hand on a girl," said Alucard. Donald just stares at him with a wicked smirk on his face. "That's just like you, Alucard. Always sticking your nose and other folks' business," said Donald. "It's my business with a douchebag like you always picking on the weak," said Alucard. Donald took off his jacket as he showed that he was about to fight Alucard. "Kick his ass Donald," shout Karen. Alucard looked at Karen and said, "Nobody cares about you Karen or fake ass clothes". "Did you just talk to my girl," said Donald. "Oh, please I won't talk to that stuck up brat," said Alucard. Donald looked at Daryl as you had an evil look on his face. Donald had a plan; he knew Alucard's girlfriend is Daryl. And he knows what he is going to hurt him at. "You know it's kind of funny that my girlfriend is way hotter than your girlfriend," said Donald. Alucard just laughed at him as he began to walk away. "And funny about it, your girlfriend is nothing more than a freak," said Donald. Alucard suddenly stops, as he slowly turns his head towards Donald. "Yeah, he screwed up," said Terry.

"What the hell do you just call my Daryl," asked Alucard. Donald decided to repeat what he said. But before you can finish his word. Alucard delivers a powerful punch, knocking Donald out cold. Daryl then walks up behind both Karen and Kea. "So, I have a fat butt huh?" Said an angry Daryl. "Did I stutter bitch!?" Snapped Karen. "Well, you wanna know what's the best thing about having a fat butt like mine?" Asked Daryl. "What," asked Karen. She then gets her answer when Daryl turns around and slams her big ass down onto Karen's sports car! "I can drop it like it's hot!" Said Daryl grinding her big ass cheeks on to the car further crushing it. "My car!!" Shouts Karen. "You broke my fucking car!" "That's the price you pay for being such a rude bitch!!" Yelled Daryl. "Oh my God. I'm definitely going to bang Daryl tonight," said Alucard. "Dude serious," Terry. "I can't help it, Daryl has a sexy booty," said Alucard. Everyone was shocked by what they had seen. Kea was watching the scene unfold.

Daryl then picks up Karen by her shirt and then hangs her up on the school's flagpole. "PUT ME DOWN RIGHT NOW, YOU FREAK! DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM OR WHO MY DADDY IS!?! THOSE LOSERS HAD THEIR WHOLE TREATMENT COMING, AND YOU HAD NO BUSINESS BARGING IN LIKE THAT JUST CAUSE YOU'RE STUPIDLY BIG YOU GIANT CUNT!!" Screamed Karen.

"Big words coming from a spoiled bitch, someone needs to teach you some respect; and I'm here to teach you some manners, so you're going to stay up there until you apologize to my friend!" Said Daryl. "Never!!!" Karen fired back. "Then enjoy the view up," said Daryl who walked away. "Are you ok Kea?" Asked Daryl. "Yeah, I'm fine." Said Kea. Then Alucard comes up to Daryl and says, "I'm sorry but I couldn't let that happen."

"It's alright sweetie, I've dealt with this before," said Daryl as she gave Alucard a big wet kiss. "So have I, so have I," said Alucard. "Thank you both," said Kea. Then Alucard walks off. After all this drama, Kea and company go out for lunch.

[cotton-tails]

So I saw this last night, and the little angsty plot bunny in my head woke up and I just had to write something. Fully intended to be a drabble of sorts, but of course it turned into a four page tear-fest, so grab the tissues and strap in.

Oh, and I haven't edited this, it's just 3am word-vomit, so enjoy the mess!

-

“So, this hasn’t exactly gone to plan.”

Della snorts cheerlessly at Donald’s deadpan comment, struggling into a sitting position and wincing at a twinge in her elbow. The chains dig into her arms with every movement, a very clear upgrade from the ropes they’d all been able to break out of within several minutes not too long ago. These idiots don’t know who they’re messing with.

Or they do; probably a little too well, hence the plan that fell apart very quickly. And the chains. And the scary looking red lightning below them.

“Shut up!” Heron snaps behind them, cuffing Donald a little too roughly around the head.

He doesn’t react more than a sharp hiss and a dark glare behind him, and Della can’t help the sharp pang of guilt under the surge of anger. She bites back a comment, keeping her eyes fixed on the ground until the villain is out of earshot.

“I’m sorry,” she breathes, keeping her voice low.

“What? Why?” Donald sounds confused but she can’t bring herself to look at him.

“You should be with Daisy right now,” she says, “I’m the one who guilted you into staying, into coming on this stupid trip. And now we’re facing the very real possibility of dying.”

Donald is quiet.

Forcing herself to look up, she frowns at the look on his face. He still doesn’t say anything, but the expression says it all; ‘Della-you-absolute-idiot-what-are-you-blathering-on-about?’

“I came on this stupid trip cause our kids were in trouble,” he hisses eventually, “my family were in trouble! You think I wouldn’t ditch my vacation in a heartbeat for any of you?”

“I-” Della starts, but her voice catches, rendering her utterly speechless. He’s not lying, she knows exactly what he would do for the family, for her. Yet, somehow that knowledge isn’t exactly helping.

She misses her chance to reply, all conversation cut off with the explosive arrival of Scrooge and Bradford through the roof.

Della clenches her fist and almost bites through the inside of her cheek as he slams to the ground. She manages to chime out a ‘Hey Uncle Scrooge,’ with Donald when his pained gaze finds them. Beakley mutters a sarcastic ‘Fantastic,’ from her other side. She can only watch as a now armoured Bradford, armed with the sword, picks him up by the back of his coat and drags him up the stairs. He’s blathering on about something, but she’s stopped listening; too busy focusing on her battered and beaten uncle and how this could have gone so completely and utterly wrong.

It’s the usual spiel anyway, threats to destroy his family, his adventures, everything he had worked for, blah blah blah.

Then the contract is revealed, and her stomach drops to somewhere around her knees. If they don’t find a way out soon, Scrooge will have to either sign his life away or they all die, and frankly, neither option sound particularly appealing.

It’s only when Bradford sacrifices his own agents that the desperateness of the situation really sinks in. It’s one thing to talk about murder, it’s entirely another to actually do it. And if Bradford is willing to throw away his own agents, Della can’t imagine what he would be willing to do to her family if Scrooge doesn’t sign.

He tries to buy some time. Della can almost hear the cogs turning in his head as he tries to figure out how to get out of this one. She huffs out a half-hearted laugh at the sharp quip about the fine-print. He’d figure something out, he always does. Not to mention the kids are bound to have found a way out by now, they’d pick up the rest of their allies and be on their way to disrupt the whole evil plan.

It’s just a matter of-

“Ugh! Enough stalling!”

Never mind.

“You need some incentive.”

Della does not like where this is going.

“Perhaps the life of your most trusted ally?”

The three of them snap their heads forward as Bradford stalks towards them, sword dragging on the concrete threateningly. As the screeching rings in Della’s ears, the only thought racing through her mind is ‘not Donnie, not Donnie, please, don’t take my brother.’

Her heart almost stops when he scoops Donald up by his collar, his cry echoing in her ears.

“Donald!” Three voices scream.

She can barely breathe, crippling panic bubbling up inside. All she wants to do is close her eyes and scream, break these chains and drag him back to safety, but she can’t move, she can’t take her eyes off her twin as he’s dangled over the edge.

“What will it be Scrooge? Adventure? Or your Family?”

‘Just do what he wants!’ She’s not ashamed of the thought. They’ll figure out a way to reverse the contract, there’s always a way, always a loophole. Just do it so she can see her brother safely on solid ground.

“Alright, I’ll do it.”

She can’t say she’s surprised at how quickly he gives in.

“No! Don’t!” Donald screams, “find a way out! You can beat him!”

The pen is already in his hand. “It’s not worth the risk lad.”

They can only watch in horror at the golden glow that circles around him, lifting him up and binding him with unbreakable chains that drag him to the ground.

“I did it!” Bradford crows triumphantly. “The great Scrooge McDuck, now only a poor old man!”

Della’s heart breaks just a little at the look of absolute misery on her old uncle’s face, but she doesn’t have time to mourn properly, because Bradford is talking. Again.

“Normally I wouldn’t indulge in such petty villainy,” he says, his gaze turning back to Donald, still dangling over the edge, with a glint in his eye that makes Della’s blood run cold. “But since this is a special occasion.”

He lets go.

Della’s eyes meet Donald’s for an agonising second, and then he’s gone.

There’s a flash of red, and someone is screaming.

She doesn’t even realise it’s her until a rough hand knocks her back.

“Shut it! Or it’ll be you next!”

Hot tears stream down her beak and she presses her forehead into the cold concrete, not even bothering to choke back a sob. Over the pounding of her own taunting heartbeat in her ears, she hears the sound of the machine powering down (‘Too late’ her traitorous mind provides), of her kids voices yelling something, and Scrooge shouting for them to be careful.

And Bradford, confused and angry as her family finally, finally step in to save the day.

His voice sets off something inside that she hadn’t felt since the day Lunaris betrayed her. A raging anger that burns through her, overwhelming any other emotion and completely taking over her mind.

The chains are no longer an obstacle, and even Beakley can’t stop her from launching herself at the buzzard. They tumble down the stairs, fists flying and feet kicking. Everything blurs after that, which may or may not be a side effect of a rather painful bump on the head as they hit the ground at the bottom of the staircase. She’s kicked off, then it’s just a cloud of lights and bodies and a strong arm holding her back from doing anything overly-reckless and potentially stupid.

The kids, her (their) beautiful, wonderful kids, figure out the loophole and the ever-binding contract disintegrates.

It’s done.

The maniacal villain is defeated once more. The world has returned to rights and the sounds of celebration fill the air.

But Della can only stand and watch, her hands trembling and eyes burning. Beakley stands behind her, hands hovering just behind her shoulders, ready to give comfort if needed.

He’s gone.

Her brother, the other half of her soul; just… gone.

And… oh.

Her knees buckle, a wrecked sob forcing its way from her throat. Beakley catches her with a arm round the shoulders and a hand under her elbow, lowering her gently to the ground as she crumples into a ball. She presses her hands to her eyes in a hopeless attempt to stem the tears as everything comes crashing down.

“It’s okay, let it out dear.”

He shouldn’t have been here. He should’ve been on that amazing adventure with Daisy, sailing together on that old houseboat. After everything life had thrown at him, after all the madness they’d been through, he’d finally caught a break, finally found that amazing person who loved him as fiercely as he loved her.

Then Della had come along, crying about lost time and not being ready. She hadn’t wanted to him to leave, even on a stupid vacation that he would very clearly be coming back from.

Now he wouldn’t even get the chance to go.

And it’s all her fault.

“Mom?”

The obvious confusion and concern in Huey’s voice is enough to send her tumbling over the edge all over again, fresh tears springing up at the thought of having to explain what happened to her- to his kids.

Scrooge hurries them away, and she tries not to listen to the hushed explanation, the startled gasps, and she has to cover her ears for the rest. She can’t stand it.

It’s all her fault.

“DELLA!”

‘What?’

There’s no mistaking that voice.

Her head snaps up so fast she’s half sure she’s given herself whiplash. Even through blurred eyesight, she knows that silhouette, that outfit, that stupid hat. She blinks, sniffing and scrubbing at her face with her sleeve, hardly daring to believe.

It shouldn’t be possible, there’s no way it’s possible. She saw it, she saw him fall, saw the flash of lightning, the empty space where he had been only moments before. She watched her own brother die. So how was he standing ten feet in front of her, laughing as he’s tackled by several small and colourful blurs?

A hand appears in front of her face and she looks up into the stunned face of her uncle. He looks almost as much of a mess as she feels, tearstains tracking down his cheeks and spotting on his coat.

“I think it might be best if we just don’t question it,” he says, helping her to her feet.

His hands are shaking as he holds hers tightly, but she doesn’t comment; it can’t be any worse than her own trembling limbs. They turn back to Donald, who’s ended up sat on the floor under the collective weight of the kids. He’s got a tearful Louie on his shoulder and several kids wrapped around his torso as he struggles to his feet, and Della can see him mouthing a headcount as he takes them all in.

“I swear every time we see you, you have more children.”

She hadn’t even noticed Panchito and José just beside him, grins wide and eyes twinkling with amusement and, in José’s case, something else that she can’t quite place. Donald just laughs at Panchito’s observation, the sound sweet as honey and causing even more tears to well up all round. The pure relief that sweeps through her is almost enough to make her knees give way again, but Scrooge’s hand gripping hers and Beakley’s arm still around her shoulders is just enough to keep her grounded.

Then he catches her eye.

“Hey Dells.”

The kids must see something in her face, cause they have to good sense to dart out of the way just moments before Della hurls herself at her brother. They almost topple backwards, but Donald is able to keep them just about upright while Della just focuses on wrapping her arms around him and burying her face in his shoulder. His arms circle her waist, holding her just as tightly. The tears are streaming freely now, but she’s beyond caring. He can yell at her about ruining his shirt later and she’ll just take it with a grin.

“You idiot!” she yells, her voice muffled by his shoulder, “I thought you were dead!”

“For a minute, so did I,” he says into her hair, “how about we just call it even?”

The soft jibe only makes her laugh, and she holds him just that little bit tighter.

Miracles do happen, and in the end all that matters is love, family and adventure.

But if he thinks she’s going to let him go galivanting off on some adventure without her now, then he’d better think again.

[shadowluver1242]

I finished “The Life and Times of Scrooge McDuck”

I read the full 12 chapters, plus the “Companion” section that had bonus stories in between the chapters, and “The Last Sled to Dawson”, “The Dream of a Lifetime”, and “A Letter From Home.” 

This has to be my favorite comic series I’ve read so far. Not just because it’s Scrooge, but there’s so much heart and emotion put into it and you’re able to follow the story so easily (which for me is hard as I get easily distracted and forget where I’m at). But this story kept my attention and made me want to keep going to the next chapter, every night I thought “just one more, just one more!” I absolutely loved the story. If you want a more in depth review chapter by chapter, read below. (SPOILERS) 

Again, thank you so much for who ever first made me find this (I actually can’t remember but it was probably a mix of everyone) as well as the album that made the story SO MUCH BETTER. Listening to the music while reading the chapter associated, really made you feel like you were in the story with the characters. I highly recommend reading this comic while listening to the music if any of you have not already. If anyone needs links or more info, feel free to ask!

This part will be a chapter by chapter review/my thoughts (some chapters might be merged together if they have similar topics).

“Of Ducks, Dimes, and Destinies”: I wasn’t sure what to expect going into this, but apparently this chapter was the intro, though it’s more like a AU of sorts. I thought it was cute though seeing Magica out of her element. My favorite part of it had to be her not recognizing young 10 yr old Scrooge while confusing Fergus for the rich old duck. But in her defense, they do look a lot alike.

“The Last of The Clan McDuck”: Now the story really begins! I wanted to get more history on Scrooge so that was one of the main reasons I wanted to read this series. It was actually a bit of a surprise to see the pampered, penny-pincher a humbled, poor and very sweet boy. Seeing how he turned into almost a completely different person is a bit sad really, but at least we know in his later years some of that sweet, caring side is still present. I admire Scrooge’s bravery in how willingly he left his family and the only life he knew for uncertainty and possibly danger at only 13 years old. He certainly matured very fast and unfortunately that forced his childhood to end at an early age.

“The Master of the Mississippi”: This was probably one of my least favorite chapters if I’m being honest. It was fun seeing a teenage Scrooge adapting in his new life in America and Uncle Pothole was certainly an interesting character! Plus seeing the Beagle Boys’ origins was interesting as well.

“The Buckaroo of the Badlands,” “The Cowboy Captain of the Cutty Sark”, “The Raider of the Copper Hill,” Also “The Vigilante of Pizen Bluff”: So all of these chapters are in the “Wild West” portion of Scrooge’s life; his teenage years and early twenties. Seeing Scrooge already fighting for his fortune and failing at every turn was almost surprising in that he always seems to succeed in life. I was so convinced he’d strike it rich on the Copper Hill, but fate seemed to have other plans for him. However at this point in his life he’s still staying true to his roots and vowing to earn his fortune honestly. (But to be fair he does get $10,000. And back then that’s got to have been like a million dollars now a days.) I’d also wondered how he’d get along with animals, and it turns out he’s a real Disney princess. He gives love and respect to animals and they love him in return.

“The New Laird of Castle McDuck”: NERVE RACKING. Not only do the McDuck’s risk losing the ancestral home to their arch nemesis, but Scrooge DIES. (or just gets knocked out?) Anyway he goes to McDuck heaven where he almost stays before finally getting another chance (for becoming the stingiest person to ever live). He ends up using all the money he got from the Copper Hill to pay for the McDuck Castle. Plus we also see Scrooge use his specs for the very first time, though it’s only for reading.

“The Terror of the Transvaal”:  Ah Flintheart, you were a scumbag before Scrooge came into the picture. Scrooge is a lion whisperer apparently, and he makes fun of Flintheart in front of the entire town before throwing him in jail, making a lifelong enemy.

“The Dreamtime Duck of the Never Never”: I was excited for this one. Love that Australian Outback theme! Scrooge rides on a camel head, which is perfect. I still love seeing how much animals love and trust Scrooge. He’s started to become less trusting of people due to being tricked at every turn, and therefore is a bit skeptical of the shaman in the desert. However seeing the dream, or prophesy of sorts, come true (which was super cool btw), it starts his admiration of history and architecture. Scrooge almost took that giant Opal that could easily have made him rich, but that would have been dishonest, and Scrooge decides against it (a bit begrudgingly). I’m so happy he got his dime back, it was worrying seeing him lose hope that his fortune would never come. He’s worked so hard and to give up now would be devastating. Thankfully he was inspired and his story finally started to look up.

“The King of the Klondike”, “The Prisoner of White Agony Creek”, “Hearts of the Yukon”, “The Last Sled to Dawson”: ...no words. I knew these would be my favorite sections. Yukon Scrooge, upper 20′s - early 30′s - in his prime, Scrooge. The beginning of his fortune. The beginning of Goldie. GOLDIE. Where do I even start?! Whew, this is going to be long. First of all, the whole ordeal Scrooge had to go through just to get to White Agony Creek was ridiculous. Finally he finds where the gold should be, but it’s not quite that easy. Everyone in Dawson mocks him endlessly for not spending any money on fun, which is completely unfair. The absolute worst part is when that mean old pig kidnaps him and chains him to the smokestacks of the boat. (Seriously this boy gets knocked out so much I’m surprised he doesn’t have a brain injury) The men mock him and then read the two only letters he’s ever gotten from his family out loud, one of which is from his mother who says they’re falling behind on payments for the castle, and the next...his father informing him that his mother has passed away. The men even mock him in his mother’s death. And Scrooge...freaking pulls a Sampson and pulls the smokestacks until they collapse onto the boat, throws a grand piano through a stained glass window, beats up any and all the men who dare fight him, and then drags the pig’s listless body through the main road in town for all to see until he can throw him to the mercy of the ‘law’ in the area. Then comes Goldie, he kidnaps her, and brings her back to his home for stealing his goose egg nugget (the biggest gold nugget ever) to show her how hard a miner has to work. They stay together alone in the wilderness for a whole month. My gosh was this chapter full of sexual tension. I’m such a die-hard Scroldie shipper now I can’t even deny it. Eventually the two part their ways, but end up meeting again in the near future when Goldie saves Scrooge from losing his claim (in a roundabout way). Then we get to see Scrooge’s last trip to Dawson before leaving the Yukon and moving on with his fortune. He loses his sled and has to return 50 years later to get it with Donald and the boys. The only thing of importance in the sled was old memories, but it was worth the fight for old Scroogey. This section was definitely the best, but molds Scrooge’s rough and tough attitude. 

“The Billionaire of Dismal Downs”: After more than 20 years, Scrooge is finally coming home to Dismal Downs successful, he’s a billionaire. The whole town has come to greet him and as soon as he shows up, they give him a big round of...tomatoes and insults hurling at him. After all he’s done this is how he’s treated??! His wild temper quickly flares and Fergus is surprised at how his son has changed, as well as the town who thought he was such a nice boy. The town people believe he no longer belongs in Scotland. After a quick visit to his mother’s grave insert sobbing here Scrooge decides to participate in the games to show how much he belongs, he even wears a kilt! Now Scrooge should have dominated this, however he’s completely forgotten the rules, and therefore disqualifies himself almost every time. A young boy named Scottie tries to show him the ropes, however fails miserably. Eventually they return to the castle where his sisters make fun of Scrooge’s lock of golden hair hurr hurr and they all decide to move to Duckburg, America, that is, except Fergus who says he’s too old to move again. The chapter ends with ghost Fergus (who’s passed away in the night) and ghost Downy waving goodbye to their children before joining McDuck heaven. I literally cried in this chapter.

“The Invader of Fort Duckburg”, and “The Sharpie of the Culebra Cut”: Some more important chapters, but not extremely interesting in my opinion. We see the founding of Duckburg and the Junior Woodchucks, as well as the Panama Canal and more of Scrooge suffering from his sisters, who make him wear his specs full time after he repeatedly makes mistakes due to his failing eyesight.

“The Empire-Builder from Calisota”: Sigh. We see the deep fall of Scrooge’s morals. He visits his sisters, whom he hasn’t seen in quite a while, and takes them to Africa where he’s working on his current dealings with the natives. Instead of making fair trades like in the past, he uses cunning tricks to minimize his costs in buying the diamond mines he seeks. His sisters criticize him, but he brushes them off. He moves on to a voo-doo native tribe (his first mistake) who doesn’t want to sell. After being humiliated in front of his kin, he goes into town and recruits several people to help him burn down the village and destroy everything in sight while his sisters return to camp, ashamed of their brother. Scrooge then puts on a disguise and ‘rescues’ the clan leader who previously embarrassed him, and tricks him into signing over his land. This is far from the kind, humble, honest boy we knew in the beginning. He returns back to camp, triumphant, to gloat to his sisters only to find they’ve left him. There’s a lone note remaining saying he’s not the man they used to know and to come back once he changes his ways. Scrooge is initially enraged, feeling betrayed. However as he argues with himself, his father’s voice comes into his head, reminding him how he wanted to make his fortune honestly, and has now just committed his first (and only) dishonest trade. Scrooge realizes what he’s done, and as he tries to run after his sisters, the witch doctor returns and casts a curse on him to have a zombie attack him. However Scrooge is still in disguise, and quickly makes himself look normal, which tricks the zombie. However for the next several years the zombie would haunt him and occasionally show up. In Scrooge’s quest to apologize to his sisters, he makes many sidetracks in making his fortune. The zombie even causes the crash of the Titanic that Scrooge was riding on. (seriously everything is his fault) Finally, after 27 years, he returns to Duckburg to stay. His family has heard he was coming and decided to put aside their differences and be a family once again, even bringing the young Donald and Della. However Scrooge has completely changed, for the worse, and completely ignores his family, eventually chasing them out of his life, for good, but not before the young and feisty Donald can give him a kick in the rear.

“The Richest Duck in the World”: Feels. All feels. We finally see Scrooge as the miserable old man we know him as. Alone and bitter and cut off from everyone. But he becomes too lonely one Christmas and invites Donald and the boys up to the mansion, if only to show them the wealth and future inheritance when he’s gone. It’s as if Scrooge is expecting to die fairly soon, and he’s completely given up on everything. The bin is shut down, he’s not making any money or traveling anymore, he doesn’t leave his house, and he hasn’t even swam in his money in years. He really has just given up. But the boys manage to inspire him, in a way that they literally make him so angry he just can’t take it anymore and eventually returns the swift kick to Donald. Afterwards we see rejuvenated Scrooge - though still elderly, he feels full of life once again. Start DuckTales story... 

“The Dream of a Lifetime”: I just had to read this because of the jumps in Scrooge’s dreams through his lifetime. It was adorable seeing young Scrooge, especially 10yr old Scrooge cussing out his nephew Donald for interrupting his dreams. Then on top of all that it ends with Scrooge finally reaching Goldie on the burning stage (which never happened), and the blushinggg hnnghhh and then freaking Donald sitting there watching the whole thing, just yes.

“A Letter From Home”: I had to read this one simply because I had read that Scrooge and Matilda make up. Boy howdy was this an emotional roller coaster, starting with Scrooge visiting his parents’ grave. Tears. Literal tears. Then Matilda wants nothing to do with him, that surprised me a bit considering how sweet and soft-spoken she was when she was younger. Plus she breaks the news about how Fergus never wanted Scrooge to find the treasure and calls him a bad son. My gosh my heart is aching for Scrooge at this point. The antagonist suddenly pulls a gun on Matilda, and Scrooge jumps in front of her without hesitation. Thank goodness the gun ‘misfires’. That definitely changed things between the two. Finally we get to see the interaction we’ve been waiting for. Scrooge and Matilda finally yell talk things out, and somewhat uncharacteristically, Scrooge cries and pleads for forgiveness. However, Matilda finally gets to hear Scrooge’s side and realizes just what he’s been through as well. They find a letter to Scrooge from Fergus, who actually did want Scrooge to find the treasure, and told him he and his mother were proud of him. It was one of the only letters Scrooge ever received from his parents, and he never, since the day they died, knew they were proud of him. sobs

That was a lot longer than necessary but even if you guys only read the sections you want that works. Thank you again!

[hermanwatts]

Forgotten All-Star: A Biography of Gardner Fox

Forgotten All-Star A Biography of Gardner Fox by Jennifer DeRoss (Pulp Hero Press, 2019).

Gardner Fox has been a guilty pleasure for over 30 years. I first read of him in Michael Franklin, Beth Meachem, & Baird Searles’ A Reader’s Guide to Fantasy (Avon Books, 1982) that mentioned Kothar and also that Fox had written for Planet Stories. A couple of years later, I picked up Fox’s Kothar and the Wizard Slayer used. The book was a quick read but sandwiched between meatier fare.

Donald B. Day’s Index to the Science-Fiction Magazines (1926-1950) was a valuable reference item that I found in two different university libraries. I used to look at page after page of author entries with intriguing story titles from the pulp era. I remember coming across Gardner F. Fox with story titles such as “Sword of the Seventh Sons,” “Man the Sun Gods Made,” and “Werwile of the Crystal Crypt.” Those story titles intrigued me to say the least. Not long after, I found his Escape Across the Cosmos which I enjoyed.

I finally got to read one of Fox’s pulp stories, “Tonight the Stars Revolt!” reprinted in Brian Aldiss’ Galactic Empires. I thought the story to be hyper-adrenaline driven. Somewhere along the way, I found out about Fox as a comic book writer.

In the early 1990s, I tracked down all of Fox’s science fiction and weird stories in pulp magazines including Planet, Weird Tales, Amazing Stories, and Marvel Science Stories. My description of Fox is his pulp stories read like a cross between Edmond Hamilton and Robert E. Howard with a few Lovecraft references thrown in.

I also started picking Fox’s historical novels and recently had an article in Men of Violence on those. In 2006, I talked with Roy Thomas. What did I talk about– Gardner Fox. Roy said that probably the most exciting thing that Fox did every day was going to the mail box.

Out of the blue, there is a biography of Gardner Fox. Forgotten All-Star is a trade paperback that runs 221 pages including end notes. Author Jennifer DeRoss is described as an “instructional specialist at Lane Community College, co-founder of the website Sirens of Sequentials, and has previously written pieces on Swamp Thing, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Orphan Black, and Bitch Planet.”

Most authors live rather ordinary lives. The most interesting writer I can think of with an interesting biography would be Barry Sadler, the guy who wrote the Casca books. A biography then by necessity shifts to analysis of the writing. That can be very interesting if done right.

I learned some things about Fox. He fenced in college so knew his swordsmanship. He was a devout Catholic. He tried to join the Army for WW2 but rejected due to poor eyesight.

The book has primary emphasis on his comic book writing. DeRoss covers how he got into writing for comic books. He was working as a lawyer but just not enough of a bastard to be a good one. He created The Flash, Hawkman, the Justice Society of America, Doctor Strange, Doctor Fate and others.

DeRoss devotes a whole chapter to Wonder Woman. Apparently, Fox has received flack for making Wonder Woman the secretary for the Justice Society of America. She does a survey of some of Fox’s scripts for the character making the case he was not some Neanderthal sexist. I knew nothing about William Moulton Marston, the guy who created Wonder Woman. Marston was a writer on mental health for magazines and a comic book critic. He was invited by M. C. Gaines to create a female character.  He had the idea that:

“Most men secretly wanted to be dominated by women, who are capable of enjoying both a dominant and submissive role with either men or women.”

Marston put bondage as a common motif in his writing of Wonder Woman. Kinky stuff.

DeRoss covers the implosion of super hero comic books after WW2, then the reaction to comics in the early 1950s resulting in the comics code. She devotes a chapter to the rise of Marvel Comics in the 1960s and the beginning of comic book fandom.

Fox was one of five writers fired by D. C. Comics in 1968 for asking for health insurance and pension plans. I would have liked to have known more details about the “writer’s strike.” I have heard bits and pieces about it over the years. Fox also had a stroke in late 1968.

Attention is given to his Kothar and Kyrik paperback series with some analysis of words used and in regards the hero’s journey. Gardner Fox died from pneumonia suddenly Christmas Eve, 1986. I remember reading about it, maybe in Locus and feeling sad. I was thinking of writing to him.

So, this biography is heavily weighted on the comic book side of Fox’s career. My interest is in the pulp fictioneer and Appendix N side. His first story in Weird Tales in 1944 is mentioned but almost nothing about his pulp career. Fox wrote sports and western stories in addition to science fiction and weird. His paperback career is also glossed over. Fox had a steady number of science fiction paperbacks from 1962-1967 in addition to his historical novels.

I learned some things about Gardner Fox. The middle initial “F” was for Francis, his confirmation name. His middle name was Cooper. He seems to have been a real solid guy that I probably would have enjoyed talking with.

I do have a few quibbles. The DeRoss’ academic side is reined in for the biography, but it does seep through now and then:

“Despite’s Fox’s dismissal of a privileged lifestyle, he most certainly lived such a privileged life right from the start. These forms of privilege prompted Fox’s interest and gave him the ability to follow his passions and share them with the world.”

“Privilege” is a word in fashion these days. It is also a word that should be used sparingly and narrowly. Gardner Fox’s father was an electrical engineer who worked his way as up vice president of engineering for AT&T. Is it privilege to use knowledge and discipline to get an education and then take care of your family? I don’t see a special right, advantage, or favor granted to Gardner Fox in his upbringing. Privilege is your father, using his status to reinstate you to Harvard after being expelled for cheating.

I have thought for years there should have been a Best of Gardner Fox paperback ranging from his pulp days to his last stories in Dragon magazine. There would have been a built-in audience knowing him from his comic book work.

Hopefully, this biography will raise Fox’s profile in the realm of popular culture.

Forgotten All-Star: A Biography of Gardner Fox published first on https://sixchexus.weebly.com/

[radioleary-blog]

Burning Flags and Hosing Native Americans

11/30/16

"Nobody should be allowed to burn the American flag," Trump wrote this week, after a college student in New Hampshire burned a flag to protest the election, "if they do, there must be consequences - perhaps loss of citizenship or year in jail!"

This from the guy who called for registering Muslims and imprisoning his political opponents. “If these people don’t like things the way they are, they shouldn’t burn the flag, they should do what I did, and burn the Constitution!” Trump said, “You think I could get away with all the crazy shit I have planned for this country if I just burned a flag? No way, I’d be in a prison cell right next to Hillary. So the Constitution had to go. You say flag burning is protected by the First Amendment? Let’s get rid of it. Shoot the First Amendment with a gun from the Second Amendment. A Bill of Rights? They sold you a bill of goods! It’s a Bill of Wrongs, folks, that’s all it was. A Bill of Wrongs.”

Trump released his statement through what has become the official White House press briefing source: Twitter. Oh, he loves his Twitter. Probably because 140 characters is just about the upper limit of his attention span. And 140 characters is the perfect length for saying something stupid, and saying it loud. With a lot of exclamation points!!! Trump loves Twitter because he knows he never has to provide details or logically support his arguments in 140 characters. Of course, he couldn’t support most of his bullshit with logic if he spent ten years writing them into a Russian novel. Hmm, I wonder, what would the title be of a Russian novel written by Donald J. Trump? “The Gulag Mara Lago” ? “One Day in the Life of Ivanka Denisovich” ? “Abortion: Crime and Punishment” ? “War and Pussy” ? Actually, Napoleon plays a prominent role in “War and Peace”, and Trump reminds me a lot like Napoleon. Except Napoleon’s hand is always thrust into his shirt, whereas Trump’s hand is usually thrust into a woman’s pants.

And Trump’s other hand is always on Twitter. And since he’s limited to 140 characters, the Donald doesn’t even have to demonstrate he understands the issues he’s tweeting about. Trump somehow manages to always tweet with the same grandiose level of outrage, bluster and threatening huffy-ness on absolutely any topic, especially when he has no clue what the fuck he’s talking about. Just try him, on any topic:

@surrealDonaldTrump:  “Quantum Theory? It’s a hoax invented by the Australians! Scott Bakula is a great actor!! Why no Oscar, academy? Shame!!

@surrealDonaldTrump:  “Picasso and Cubism? There must be penalties for (so-called) artists who support Fidel Castro’s ideas! Cubism!! And only 90 miles from our shores!

@surrealDonaldTrump:  “Handel’s Messiah at the Met? No gingerbread house! No scene where Handel and Gretel get cooked in the witch’s oven? The Met got it wrong!! Boring - cut funding!!

Of course, what he’d really like to do is get the whole Constitution down to 140 characters or less:

@surrealDonaldTrump:  “We/ people -perfect union, just perfect!! More guns- 2 Corinthians. lower corporate tax rate!! No illegal alienable rights- a selfie evidently: life, liberty, etc.”

Trump is the first Twitter President, but he’s also the first internet troll President, and that’s what’s scary; that a man who is always so angry and eager to get into a Twitter war is now able to get us all into a very real war just as fast, and just as furious. The fast and the furious, or maybe the fascist and the furious. What keeps me up until 3 AM? Worrying about what the hell Donald Trump is up to at 3 AM! He gets up at 3 AM not because he thought of something brilliant to say that couldn’t wait till morning, but because he has to pee twenty times a night. He’s not having a “Eureka!” moment, he’s having a “urea” moment. Because no matter how rich and powerful he is, he’s still an old man, with an old man’s prostate and bladder that are just about as worn-out and unworkable as his economic policies. And both his bladder and his economic plan rely entirely too much on a “trickle down” theory that never, ever provides any relief.

So he wakes up every night in the middle of the night, mad at the world and fully capable of any act of irrationality on Twitter. And now, on the world stage. I’m afraid I’m going to wake up one morning and find out we’ve been at war with China for five hours already. I can see the Joint Chiefs of Staff pleading with him, urging him not to go to war, “Mr. President, we can’t risk a nuclear confrontation, it’s madness! The stakes are too high!” To which Trump replies, “Wrong, General, my steaks are very reasonably priced! Believe me. Very high quality steaks.”

Then our military leaders would be begging him to stop the war. “Please Mr. President, there are 1.2 billion Chinese with a standing army of 200 million men! Our troops are being decimated! We told you hours ago to give the order to retreat! If we are to survive as a nation, you must give the order to retreat!” To which Trump replies, “Wait, you said ‘retreat’? My bad. I thought you said ‘retweet’!”

“But seriously, General, we should retweet. We can still win this on social media.”

Hosing Native Americans

I’m deeply disturbed by what’s going on with the DAPL. To us that stands for Dakota Access PipeLine, but to the Standing Rock Sioux tribe, it stands for Damn Americans Plundering Land.

Now I’m a big fan of oil, a really big fan. Fossil fuels? Love them so damn much. They keep me from freezing to death every winter, when New York state turns into the planet Hoth from ‘The Empire Strikes Back’ for five months. More like ‘The Empire State’s Back: A No Hope.’ And even those giant Imperial Walker “AT-ATs” moved a hell of a lot faster than Northway traffic in winter.

So I love oil. I loved dinosaurs as a kid, and now that they’re fossil fuel, I love ‘em even more when they’re driving my ass around in my car. So I understand why we usually look the other way while the robber barons take the land to take the oil, and play the villain in this never-ending Western horse-opera that keeps our lights on. We usually don’t really care that there’s never a Lone Ranger to ride to the rescue and shoot the gun out the villains hand, we’re willing to let the good guys lose if it keeps our cell phones charged. And hey, how the hell did the Lone Ranger always manage to have a non-violent resolution to every conflict...by using guns? I don’t think he ever killed anybody, but he was always shooting and waving those guns around like a guy with flashlights on a runway waving in a 747. It probably was less of a moral stance than the fact that silver bullets were ridiculously expensive. But this really painted an unrealistic expectation for an entire generation of TV-watching kids; that hostile confrontations are more likely to be resolved peacefully once you break out the guns. Everything will be just fine! What could possibly go wrong with teaching kids that random gunfire solves most problems?

And The A-Team? They were an even worse example, they fired guns all day long and nobody ever got hurt. Every episode, the A-Team ended up in a ten minute shoot-out with machine guns at close range, and they still never managed to successfully shoot somebody. These guys were supposed to be ex-military? What branch, the Kiss Army? They must have fired ten million rounds of ammunition over five seasons, but they never managed to kill a single goddam bad guy. Not even accidentally. You’d think someone would at least get hurt tripping over the mountains of spent cartridges. No one ever got seriously wounded or maimed, either. Never a realistic depiction of the awful consequences of close-quarter machine gun fire on the human body. Never a bad guy laying there screaming at the end of the episode, writhing in a spreading pool of blood, desperately trying to cram his intestines back into his body as the A-Team smoke cigars and high-five each other in a freeze-frame over the closing credits. No, when the show was cancelled the body count was still zero. No wonder these guys were kicked out of the military, they were just wasting valuable ammo and helicopter fuel! I guess B.A. stood for Bad Aim. Was it poor eyesight? I think maybe they called them The A-Team because that was the only letter they could read at the top of the eye chart.

But I digress. Back to the pipeline. So the oil companies dig and bulldoze, raze and deforest, drill, lay pipe and pump. That’s where the oil comes from, and we write it all off as Progress. Although, in all fairness, “drill”, “lay pipe”, and “pump” is also where orgasms come from, so let’s not rush to judgement.

The DAPL is a 1,172-mile, $3.8-billion pipeline, which would transport up to 570,000 barrels of oil a day. It’s nearly finished except for a section scheduled to go under the Missouri River. Native Americans of the Standing Rock Sioux tribe are protesting the pipeline, saying any oil spill will contaminate water sources that serve over 17 million Americans. So last week, authorities attacked the tribe with water cannons in sub-freezing temperatures, which put 17 protesters in the hospital. You think we’ve really advanced as a society? In 400 hundred years of Native American relations, we’ve only gone from intentionally giving them smallpox, to intentionally giving them pneumonia. Slightly less life-threatening, I guess, but not a big improvement. Who knows, maybe in another hundred years we’ll only intentionally give them a head cold. Not a bad one, but one that may cause them to call in sick to work and lay in bed all day catching up on TV.

Authorities defended their use of the water cannons. “We warned them repeatedly,” Morton County Sheriff ‘Buffalo Bill’ said at a press conference, “It rubs the lotion on its skin, or else it gets the hose again!” Sheriff Buffalo Bill then tucked his penis between his legs and tweaked his nipples for the remainder of the press briefing.

And do we truly appreciate the sheer fucked-up-edness of using water cannons on people who are protesting to protect water? What Federal Agency was behind this? Did they call in the Bureau of Irony Enforcement? What was the plan, was this psychological warfare, to hose the Native Americans until they say, “You know what? Fuck water. I’m going back to the casino. We have towels there, and our odds of winning are better.”

This is like, say, if there was a protest by PETA, and the police came to break it up by throwing cats at them. “This is a legal order to disperse!” Raawr! “You must leave the area immediately!” Mrowwl! “Sir, the protesters are deploying countermeasures, they have balls of yarn!” “Hmm...get me that big tomcat named Pepper, we’ll see how they like it when he sprays!”

This whole situation shows that we as a people can no longer effectively stop large, powerful corporations like the oil industry from doing whatever the hell they want to us and our land. They determine public policy, and they have lawmakers and law-enforcement to back them up. They aren’t even afraid of lawsuits and litigation from this tribe, and this tribe is called the Sue! Sure, they spell it ‘Sioux’, not ‘Sue’, but everybody knows the Sioux were the most litigious of all the tribes. The Apache were the most renowned warriors, but the Sioux were legendary litigators. Man, they were a formidable legal opponent. Their raiding party would ride silently into settlements under cover of the night, and as the settlers awoke, they would hit them all at once...with subpoenas.They were ruthless; issuing restraining orders, ‘cease and desist’ orders, and injunctions (I think that’s actually where the offensive slur injun comes from; injunction).

Then they would tie them up. In court. For years. Led by the great Sioux warrior, Red Tape. They still talk about the greatest Sioux leader, Chief Council, and his partner in the firm, Running Billable Hours. The Sioux were the tribe that successfully negotiated a class-action settlement against the Iroquois League over faulty tomahawks, and they are the tribe that got the zoning variance for the Grand Canyon. They were also, by most accounts, the nation’s first litigators to use peyote to consult a Spirit Guide during jury selection, but Alan Dershowitz later perfected the technique. It’s sad how little of this you learn in school these days.

But take heart! As I write this, an estimated 2,100 U.S. military veterans were bound for the frozen Standing Rock reservation to aid and support the Sioux and their allies battling the oil baron villains. Maybe I was wrong, it looks like there are a whole hell of a lot of Lone Rangers riding to the rescue. Of course, Tonto was really running the show.

If anyone was offended by any of this, please don’t Sioux me.

[mrmichaelchadler]

Thumbnails 8/17/18

Thumbnails is a roundup of brief excerpts to introduce you to articles from other websites that we found interesting and exciting. We provide links to the original sources for you to read in their entirety.—Chaz Ebert

1. 

"A Friend in Aretha: The Spiritual Power of the Queen of Soul's 'Amazing Grace'": The Ringer's Rembert Browne pays tribute to the inimitable icon who passed away yesterday at age 76. Also make sure to read our critic Odie Henderson's deeply moving obituary.

“At this point in her career, Aretha was already a legend. A year before Amazing Grace, she’d released a greatest-hits album and won her fourth of eight consecutive Grammys for Best Female R&B Vocal Performance. One could argue that while she had a great deal more to achieve, she didn’t have much more to prove. And maybe to an average superstar this would be true, but we’re talking Aretha Franklin, lest we forget. And on those two days, she reminded everyone that while she may have had contemporaries, she had no peers. Sure, Aretha was not the first to grow up in the church and take a booming voice to the mainstream, gaining worldwide fame from secular music. But on these two days, she came back to the black church. And it wasn’t just a sweet reminder that she hadn’t lost a step. She was here for her playground respect, ready to send a warning shot to any that had doubted her—she had gotten stronger. Amazing Grace is Aretha, at her most raw and stripped down, resulting in Aretha at her most powerful.”

2. 

"Dazzling 'Cielo' Provides Dose of Spiritual Awareness": My Indie Outlook review of Alison McAlpine's visually staggering documentary, now playing at Film Forum in New York City.

“In terms of sheer visual majesty, McAlpine’s film ranks alongside Warwick Thornton’s Australian western ‘Sweet Country’ as one of the year’s great achievements in cinematography. Whereas Thornton’s picture, co-lensed with Dylan River, depicts human brutality set against breathtakingly beautiful (and naggingly indifferent) landscapes, ‘Cielo’ juxtaposes staggering nighttime vistas with intimate vignettes centering on the people who live in northern Chile’s Atacama Desert. As photographed by ace DP Benjamín Echazarreta (‘A Fantastic Woman’), the skies hovering above this desert terrain—the driest in the world—seem fraught with life, containing secrets that would be impossible for any human mind to comprehend. Some people may be driven mad by the very concept of infinite space, yet I find the undefinable nature of the cosmos to be comforting. Since the dawn of time, prejudice and bloodshed have been propelled by those mortal beings who delude themselves and their followers into thinking they have all the answers. This grand fallacy provides each belief system with a sense of superiority that swiftly crumbles as soon as one’s gaze is cleared of all blind spots.”

3.

"Trial runs for fascism are in full flow": Powerful commentary published in June by Finian O'Toole of The Irish Times.

“It is easy to dismiss Donald Trump as an ignoramus, not least because he is. But he has an acute understanding of one thing: test marketing. He created himself in the gossip pages of the New York tabloids, where celebrity is manufactured by planting outrageous stories that you can later confirm or deny depending on how they go down. And he recreated himself in reality TV where the storylines can be adjusted according to the ratings. Put something out there, pull it back, adjust, go again. Fascism doesn’t arise suddenly in an existing democracy. It is not easy to get people to give up their ideas of freedom and civility. You have to do trial runs that, if they are done well, serve two purposes. They get people used to something they may initially recoil from; and they allow you to refine and calibrate. This is what is happening now and we would be fools not to see it.”

4. 

"'I Don't Care If It Never Shows in a Theater': Steven Soderbergh on 'sex, lies, and videotape,' 4K HDR and the Studio System": In conversation with Jim Hemphill at Filmmaker Magazine.

“There were a lot of people, as part of the French New Wave and then the British New Wave, experimenting with this idea of unlocking the picture from the sound. I was very intrigued by that, so that whole opening was built to take advantage of the things that you can do when you uncouple those two elements. It was written very specifically to go that way. As it turned out, again, she turned out to be the right vessel to pull people through the story. It’s interesting in retrospect, all these years later, to see how focused the movie is on her experience. All the distance and the time enabled me to see it from 30,000 feet up and I realized, oh, part of the appeal of her character is this idea that she’s not hip. She’s not really with it. She doesn’t really get it. She seems to be the least enlightened person in that quartet. And yet, in a critical moment, she has a clarity that none of the other characters are able to muster. There’s something very appealing about that, watching that transformation happen with her. She ends up having an experience in this conversation with Jimmy Spader’s character that ends up doing something to both of them that neither of them, I think, anticipated. I think that, just from an emotional standpoint, is satisfying, to watch that transformation. All of these characters, without knowing it, are heading into this collision that’s going to reverberate for them for the rest of their lives, but they’re completely unaware of it.”

5. 

"Tonawanda's Larry Titzler, 95, writes book about his WWII adventures": Teresa Sharp of The Buffalo News chats with the father of our longtime critic Susan Wloszczyna about his new book.

“‘It was the Great Depression and I spent my time at Riverside Park, where they had a swimming pool and baseball diamonds, as well as at the Riverside Theater,’ he recently recalled in a conversation in his Tonawanda home. ‘Once in a while, my mother would take me on a streetcar downtown where she’d shop at Hens and Kelly and she’d take me to a movie at Shea’s Hippodrome or Great Lakes Theater, but that didn’t happen very often.’ This 1940 Riverside High School graduate completed a one-year program at the former Chown School of Business in Buffalo before joining Great Lakes Engineering Co. in Tonawanda. He was drafted and inducted into the U.S. Army Jan. 23, 1943. ‘I had poor eyesight,’ he recalled. ‘I was nearsighted and the doctor who examined me for the Army said I could either be 4-F or go into the Army. I decided I couldn’t stay home when everyone else I knew was going in the service and I felt I should contribute something to my country. You know, my mother and father never knew I had that choice. Never.’”

Image of the Day

This marvelous snapshot of Aretha Franklin at the New Orleans Jazz Festival in 1994 was captured by Leon Morris of Getty Images. Click here to read BBC's coverage of the tributes made to the legendary singer.

Video of the Day

The Guardian presents a stirring compilation of Aretha Franklin performing one of her most beloved numbers, "(You Make Me Feel Like) A Natural Woman" over the span of six decades.

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[emarawork2015]

Why Get A Pro For Your Laser Vision Correction Treatment

By Donald Patterson

The world is beautiful. It is made with various shapes and colors. Some shapes are composed of sharp edges. It is very colorful. From the view of the sky to the textbooks that record the history of the civilization, they are very attractive. Unfortunately, not all people can appreciate it like regular individuals do. These people might be born with few illnesses. For those individuals who suffer from myopia and astigmatism, you could now cure your illness. Hence, do not ever abandon your hope. The Laser vision correction Brooklyn NY is always there to help you. Get their expertise and experience, primarily, in curing your eyesight. The operation could be costly. However, try to save for this treatment. Look for a good doctor who is even good at it. That is right. Acquiring the best doctor surely matters. You will need their ideas and expertise, primarily, in healing your condition. Acquire the remedy for your illness. This should be perfect, especially, for those patients who got this issue since they were young. Consult a specialist that perform this operation. If lead is the only thing that you want, the virtual world has plenty of them. From popular specialists to highly competent eye doctors, assure that you will find someone to depend on. Before getting this operation, try to conduct various inquiries first. See to it that you have contacted this best expert for this. You have several options actually. You cannot only read some details on the magazine. Discover various information through the use of words of mouth. Once you have gathered the best name in the industry, try visiting their facility. You should protect your heart. Be proud of what you are. If you think that something is wrong with your eyes, then, all you got to do is to fix it. With the latest technology and innovative products in the market, you can find a cure to your poor eyesight. You can fix them fully. You might be wondering how you can make it happen. You can put an end to it. That is the main reason why specialists and doctors exist. They are not just established to give you false hope. They are there to resolve and fix your issues. If that triggers your interest to try the service, then, you should absolutely consult them about your condition. Just beware in the ability and the skill of your specialists. Remain cautious and vigilant. The internet might be pretty useful, particularly, during your initial inquiries. However, it is not as useful and credible enough as you have expected it to be. Better review and determine the qualities of your prospects before calling them. Gather some proofs and evidence, especially, regarding about their past performance. Remember that you are the only person who could do that. Do this for your future too. Wearing eye glasses are not really fashionable these days. To begin with, not all people are good looking enough when they wear this accessory. That is not the only issue here. It is very troublesome, primarily, if you lose your glasses. However, remember not to focus on this factor too. Check the facility of your specialist. Determine their reputation too. They should be licensed and highly competent in performing the operation. See how good their doctors are. Make some effort in checking their professional background. That will also help too.

About the Author:

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[clubofinfo]

Expert: I’m back!! It has recently been reported that Senator John McCain has an aggressive brain tumor. Not long ago I would have thought: “Good. It’ll be great to be rid of that neanderthal reactionary bastard!” Not now. My kidneys are gone and I’m on (rather unpleasant) dialysis for the rest of my life. My separated-from German wife is in Germany and can’t fly because of the danger of blood clots forming and lodging in her lungs or heart. I’m an avid reader of medical news and almost every day I get choked-up and depressed by the never-ending heart-breaking stories of incurable pain and suffering of the old and the young. So I wish the senator a good recovery, if that’s possible. Probably no more possible than his politics recovering. He just condemned all the neo-Nazi actions in Charlottesville, this man who went out of his way to pose for friendly photos with neo-Nazis in Ukraine and jihadists in Syria. So far the dialysis does not seem to have helped, at least not with my two main symptoms: deep-seated sleepiness at home, resulting in repeated naps, making my writing difficult; and getting out-of-breath and having to stop and rest after a very short and slow walk outdoors. I’m curious about whether any of my readers knows of anyone with a medical problem that was clearly relieved by dialysis. It may be my advanced age of 84 that blocks any improvement. But, supposedly, the dialysis keeps me alive in the absence of functioning kidneys. Incidentally, nine of my readers and friends have offered me a kidney for transplant, but I can’t find a hospital willing to perform it; again it’s my age, though I’m very willing. At least I still have my eyesight and my hearing. My mind is okay. I have all my limbs and am not paralyzed. And I’m not in pain. Much to be thankful for. It’s also very nice to have gone past the hangups my condition thrust upon me and to be back writing my report for the first time in five months. During the recent American presidential campaign I wrote that if I were forced to vote and also forced to choose between Clinton and Trump I’d vote for the Donald. (As it turned out I voted for the Green Party candidate, Jill Stein.) I stated two reasons why I’d choose Trump over Clinton: presumably, a lesser chance of nuclear war with Russia and a lesser chance of the American government closing down the Russian TV station, Russia Today (RT), broadcasting in the US. There was at the time, and now again, growing Congressional pressure to do just that and I’m very reliant on the station. Because of such matters I was willing to overlook Trump’s many and obvious character defects, which I summed up with the endearing word of my people back in Brooklyn –- “shmuck”. But by now the man’s shmuckiness has been writ so large that little hope for him can be maintained. What is keeping Donald Trump from drowning in the very cesspool of his own shmuckiness is a gentleman named Kim Jong-un. Who would have believed that a single historical period could produce two such giant shmucks, men who tower over their pathetic contemporaries? There’s only one explanation for this remarkable phenomenon. Of course. It’s Russia. Moscow is using the two men to make America look foolish. And Russia, it may soon be revealed, gave North Korea its nuclear weapons. Did you think that such an impoverished, downtrodden society could produce such scientific marvels on its own? Is there any act too dastardly for Vladimir Putin? We don’t know yet whether Trump’s son, daughter or son-in-law made any deals with Kim Jong-un. Stay tuned to Fox News and CNN. Those stations, amongst others, put out a lot of fake news, but when it comes to news of North Korea nothing compares to the fake news of 1950. Did you know there’s no convincing evidence that North Korea did what they’re most famous for –- the June 25, 1950 invasion of South Korea, which led to the everlasting division of the Korean peninsula into two countries? And there were no United Nations forces that observed this invasion, as we’ve been taught. In any event, the two sides had been clashing across the dividing line for several years. What happened on that fateful day in June could thus be regarded as no more than the escalation of an ongoing civil war. Read my chapter on Korea in Killing Hope: U.S. Military and CIA Interventions Since World War II for the full details of these and other myths. The response to terrorism I still get emails criticizing me for the stand I took against Islamic terrorists earlier this year. Almost every one feels obliged to remind me that the terrorists are acting in revenge for decades of US/Western bombing of Muslim populations and assorted other atrocities. And I then have to inform each one of them that they’ve chosen the wrong person for such a lecture. I, it happens, wrote the fucking book on the subject! In the first edition of my book Rogue State: A Guide to the World’s Only Superpower, published in 2001, before September 11, the first chapter was “Why do terrorists keep picking on The United States?” It includes a long list of hostile US military and political actions against the Islamic world during the previous 20 years. So I can well see why radical Muslims would harbor a deep-seated desire for revenge against The United States and its allies who often contributed to the hostile actions. My problem is that the Islamic terrorist actions are seldom aimed at those responsible for this awful history –- the executive and military branches of the Western nations, but are more and more targeted against innocent civilians, which at times includes other Muslims, probably even, on occasion, some who sympathize with the radical Islamic cause. These random terrorist acts are thus not defendable or understandable from any revenge point of view. What did the poor people of Barcelona have to do with Western imperialism? Civilians are, of course, much easier to target, but that’s clearly no excuse. As I’ve pointed out in the past, we should consider this: From the 1950s to the 1980s the United States carried out all kinds of very harmful policies against Latin America, including numerous bombings, without the natives ever resorting to the uncivilized, barbaric kind of retaliation as employed by ISIS. Latin American leftists generally took their revenge out upon concrete representatives of the American empire: diplomatic, military and corporate targets – not markets, theatres, nightclubs, hospitals, schools, restaurants or churches. The terrorists’ choice of targets is bad enough, but their methods are even worse. Who could have imagined 20 years ago that an organization would exist in this world that would widely publicize detailed instructions on how to choose a truck to drive down a busy thoroughfare and directly into crowds of people? What species of human being is this? What is needed is a worldwide media campaign to make fun of the very idea that such men, along with suicide bombers, will be rewarded by Allah in an afterlife; even the idea of an afterlife can, of course, be derided; yes, even the idea of Allah, by that or any other name, can be derided; at least the idea of such a cruel God. Appealing to jihadists on simply moral grounds would be even more useless than appealing to Pentagon officials or Donald Trump on moral grounds. The jihadists have to be deeply ridiculed; the small amount of human empathy and decency still remaining in their heart of hearts has to be reached through embarrassing them before their friends and family. Femmes fatales can be used against young Islamic men, most of whom, I’d venture to say, have sizable sexual hangups. Bombing them only increases their numbers. Some thoughts on the question that will not go away:  Capitalism vs. socialism The whole art of Conservative politics in the 20th century is being deployed to enable wealth to persuade poverty to use its political freedom to keep wealth in power. –– Aneurin Bevan (1897-1960), Labour Party (UK) minister The fact that Donald J. Trump is a champion –- indeed, a model, or as he might say, a huge model –- of capitalism should be enough to make people turn away from the system, but the debate between capitalism and socialism continues without pause in the Trump era as it has since the 19th century. The wealth gap, affordable housing, free education, public transportation, a sustainable environment, and health care are some of the perennial points of argument we’re all familiar with. So many empty houses … so many homeless people –- Is this the way a market economy is supposed to work? Twice in recent times the federal government in Washington has undertaken major studies of many thousands of federal jobs to determine whether they could be done more efficiently by private contractors. On one occasion the federal employees won more than 80% of the time; on the other occasion 91%. Both studies took place under the George W. Bush administration, which was hoping for different results. The American people have to be reminded of what they once knew but seem to have forgotten: that they don’t want BIG government, or SMALL government; they don’t want MORE government, or LESS government; they want government ON THEIR SIDE. As to corporations, we have to ask: Do the members of a family relate to each other on the basis of self-interest and greed? Speaking in very broad terms … slavery gave way to feudalism … feudalism gave way to capitalism … capitalism is not a timelessly valid institution but was created to satisfy certain needs of the time … capitalism has outlived its usefulness and must now give way to socialism … the ultimate incompatibility between capitalist profit motive and human environmental survival demands nothing less. The system corrupts every important aspect of our lives, including the one which takes up the most of our time -– our work, even for corporation executives, who demand huge salaries and benefits to justify their working at jobs that otherwise are not particularly satisfying. Several years ago, the Financial Times of London reported on Wall Street’s opposition to salary limits: Senior bankers were quick to warn the plans would cause a brain drain from the profession as top executives seek more rewarding jobs out of the public eye. Unlike other careers where job satisfaction and other considerations play a part, finance tends to attract people whose main motivation is money. … ‘The cap is a lousy idea,’ complained one top Wall Street executive. ‘If there is no monetary upside, who would want to do these jobs?’ As for those below the executive class … When they work, it’s too often just any job they can find, rather than one designed to realize innermost spiritual or artistic needs. Their innermost needs are rent, food, clothes, and electricity. For those concerned about the extent of freedom under socialism the jury is still out because the United States and other capitalist powers have subverted, destabilized, invaded, and/or overthrown every halfway serious attempt at socialism in the world. Not one socialist-oriented government, from Cuba and Vietnam in the 1960s, to Nicaragua and Chile in the 1970s, to Bulgaria and Yugoslavia in the 1990s, to Haiti and Venezuela in the 2000s has been allowed to rise or fall based on its own merits or lack of same, or allowed to relax its guard against the ever-threatening imperialists. The demise of the Soviet Union (even with all its shortcomings) has turned out to be the greatest setback to the fight against the capitalist behemoth, and we have not yet recovered. How could the current distribution of property and wealth reasonably be expected to emerge from any sort of truly democratic process? And if this is the way regulated capitalism works, what would life under unregulated capitalism be like? We’ve long known the answer to that question. Theodore Roosevelt (president of the United States 1901-09) said in a speech in 1912: “The limitation of governmental powers, of governmental action, means the enslavement of the people by the great corporations who can only be held in check through the extension of governmental power.” And what do the corporate elite want? In a word: “everything” … from our schools to our social security, from our health care to outer space, from our media to our sports. “We are all ready to be savage in some cause. The difference between a good man and a bad one is the choice of the cause.” – William James (1842-1910) A few years ago, when George W. Bush came out as a painter, he said that he had told his art teacher that “there’s a Rembrandt trapped inside this body”. Ah, so Georgie is more than just a painter. He’s an artiste. And we all know that artistes are very special people. They’re never to be confused with mass murderers, war criminals, merciless torturers or inveterate liars. Neither are they ever to be accused of dullness of wit or incoherence of thought or speech. Artistes are not the only special people. Devout people are also special: Josef Stalin studied for the priesthood. Osama bin Laden prayed five times a day. And animal lovers: Herman Goering, while his Luftwaffe rained death upon Europe, kept a sign in his office that read: “He who tortures animals wounds the feelings of the German people.” Adolf Hitler was also an animal lover and had long periods of being a vegetarian and anti-smoking. Charles Manson was a staunch anti-vivisectionist. And cultured people: This fact Elie Wiesel called the greatest discovery of the war: that Adolf Eichmann was cultured, read deeply, played the violin. Mussolini also played the violin. Some Nazi concentration camp commanders listened to Mozart to drown out the cries of the inmates. Former Bosnian Serb politician Radovan Karadzic, convicted by the International Criminal Tribunal for the former Yugoslavia for war crimes, genocide, and crimes against humanity, was a psychiatrist, specializing in depression; a practitioner of alternative medicine; published a book of poetry and books for children. Members of ISIS and Al Qaeda and other suicide bombers are genuinely and sincerely convinced that they are doing the right thing, for which they will be honored and rewarded in an afterlife. That doesn’t make them less evil; in fact, it makes them more terrifying, since they force us to face the scary reality of a world in which sincerity and morality do not necessarily have anything to do with each other. Dick Gregory, 1932-2017 Mayor Daley and other government officials during the riots of the ’60s showed their preference for property over humanity by ordering the police to shoot all looters to kill. They never said shoot murderers to kill or shoot dope pushers to kill. When the white Christian missionaries went to Africa, the white folks had the bibles and the natives had the land. When the missionaries pulled out, they had the land and the natives had the bibles. The way Americans seem to think today, about the only way to end hunger in America would be for Secretary of Defense Melvin Laird to go on national TV and say we are falling behind the Russians in feeding folks. What we’re doing in Vietnam is using the black man to kill the yellow man so the white man can keep the land he took from the red man. http://clubof.info/

[itsiotrecords-blog]

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To be fair, not every celebrity on this list ended up choosing their final resting place, but in spite of that, they are, to be sure, strange and/or incredible places all the same. Below is a diverse list of TV writers, novelists, actors, martial artists, musicians, fathers of musicians, royalty, journalists, businesswomen, and the creator of likely the biggest entertainment company in the world, if not at least the best known entertainment company in the world. Each of these men and women— and one special dog— have either been made the lady of the lake, been given a gigantic new prescription for their glasses, stolen a man’s heart… literally, snorted or been smoked, traveled to outer space (or at the very least been blasted across the desert), and have appeared dead on screen… not to say they simply looked dead on screen, but the last anyone saw of them, they were on screen, and actually dead. So here are fifteen weird places celebrities have found themselves in death.

#1 The Game Of Death True, Bruce Lee‘s actual final resting place is in Seattle’s Lakeview Cemetery, where thousands of people go to visit him and his son, Brandon Lee (buried alongside his father), but there is a creepier, much more exploitative resting place of sorts for this martial arts master. Dying, shortly before the famed Enter The Dragon hit the box office, Bruce Lee appeared in several other films, post-mortem. Surely this is not an unusual occurrence, with partially shot films continuing production with stunt doubles, or just cutting with the footage they have, like in Brandon Lee’s final film The Crow, but there is something more sinister behind Bruce Lee’s final shots as a film star. The Game of Death, famous for the yellow jumpsuit that Uma Thurman similarly wears in Kill Bill, and for the epic fight between Lee and Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, got away with using actual shots of Lee’s corpse, from funeral footage, being cut into the film. So if one is ever looking for Bruce’s final film resting place, one need only watch Game of Death.

#2 The Field Where Music Died Buried in the Lubbock Cemetery in Texas, one might not know of Buddy Holly’s final resting place for all of the commotion over the Clear Lake, Iowa memorial, looking over the site of the infamous crash that killed Ritchie Valens, Big Bopper, and Buddy Holly, on February 3, 1959— the day the music died. Along the sorrowful site, which includes an engraved guitar and record memorial, there is a gigantic tribute to Buddy Holly by way of his signature glasses. If one didn’t know any better, one might think that Buddy Holly wasn’t buried elsewhere at all, but left no remains in the crash and therefore had erected an enormous structure to remind people of the significance of his poor eyesight. Smack dab in the middle of farmer’s fields, one has to wonder if this symbol of tragedy is not taking up valuable real estate for the continued growth of that “American Dream” so readily believed in circa 1959.

#3 Princess Diana’s Monumental Memorial Park Buried in an Althorp estate in Northamptonshire, Princess Diana has become the mythical Lady of the Lake. Her resting place is on an island in Round Oval Lake, in a gigantic park (that the general public is allowed to visit one day out of every year), dedicated to the, for some reason, still adored face of the royal family circa the nineteen nineties. It’s not all that weird to have a resting place in a park, but in a park that people can visit only once every year; an enormous park, dedicated solely to her, with its own lake, riddled with ducks and four, specially placed black swans, topped off with an almost palace-like Grecian structure overlooking the island resting place from the mainland of the park… If not weird, it is at least a bit overzealous, to understate the enormity of the memorial. The royal family has not had any great significance since before the Great War, and Diana of all, was loathed by the majority of the royal family when she married into it anyway. Seems a bit weird.

#4 George Harrison Takes A Dip In The Ganges  Once described as “liquid love of life”, the Ganges is a supposedly mystical river in India where good karma flows through the bodies of those who bathe in its waters; a gift from the almighty, graced upon believers and skeptics alike. Never quite escaping the Hare Krishna phase of the Beatles’ legacy, like the rest of his band mates had after the LSD wore off, George Harrison, after being cremated by the friendly folks at Hollywood Forever (facilitators of perhaps the most frequently visited cemetery in the world), was taken to the sacred river, and cast about its waters, as well as at Allahabad, where the Ganges and two other holy rivers converge. The Hindu belief is that spreading one’s ashes about holy waters aids in the process of releasing the soul from one’s body, and escaping reincarnation, to make the final journey to Heaven. Who knows where Harrison is now, besides mingled with the ashes of many others, but My Sweet Lord, he did go peacefully.

#5 Blasted Across The Desert One of the most famous funerals of the twenty first century, to be sure, after taking care of the planning, taking interviews about how his funeral would be carried out and how his remains would be disposed of, and then finally setting the phone down after chatting with his wife and blowing his brains out with a .45, while she was still on the line, Hunter S. Thompson ended his life, but not the significance of it. Shortly after his death, actor and good friend of Thompson’s, Johnny Depp set out to foot the bill for the great tower, atop which sat a double-thumbed fist, holding onto a button of peyote, and through which a cannon would fire the famed journalist’s ashes. With a fabulous fireworks display of red, white, and blue, Hunter’s remains went out the very same way he did: with a bang! The unfortunate missing part of the above video is the moment where, as the cloud of smoke and ash billows over the cheering crowd, one of the onlookers tells his friends to “breathe deep… breathe deep!”; so badly did he want Thompson to be a part of them.

#6 You Know I Snorted My Father, Right? Alright, so this isn’t a celebrity resting place by any direct means, in that Keith Richards has not yet, however surprisingly, been found dead. That being said, this is still the case of a celebrity resting place because while his father was no celebrity, Keith certainly is, and he is now, himself, at least partially, the resting place of his father. “I opened my dad’s ashes and some of them blew out over the table, just because of the suction of the lid, you know what I mean? I looked at my dad’s ashes down there and— what am I gonna do? ‘Do I desecrate them with a dustbin and broom?’ So I wet me finger and I shoved a little bit of Dad up me hooter.” That’s right! Keith Richards snorted his father with, upon further elaboration in an interview, a bit of cocaine because let’s be honest, if you’re already a drug fiend, and you’re already putting your father up there, you may as well get a fix at the same time. Not having snorted the entirety of his father’s ashes, Richards put the rest “round an oak tree, which is coming up a treat.” So a celebrity resting place in a sense, Keith Richards continues to boggle minds.

#7 Just About As Ugly As Ichabod Crane… Making it all the way to the ripe old age of eighty seven (well past ripe in her case), Leona Helmsley was once as big a mogul in the business world as Donald Trump, if not even bigger. Instead of bankrupting herself so many times as Trump, she was caught evading taxes, since “Only the little people pay taxes” according to her view of the world. This billionaire, dubbed “The Queen of Mean” for her incredibly bitchy persona, Helmsley only served twenty one months of her sixteen year sentence, paid her seven million dollars in fines, and had her employees do her pot-prison community service for her. Amazingly not dying of a heart attack at her sentencing in trial, she did eventually suffer from heart failure, leaving twelve million to her dog, and nothing for her grandchildren. Where would such a monster end up? Well, many likely wishing her headless, and absolutely more hideous to look at than Ichabod Crane, Helmsley was laid to rest in Sleepy Hollow, in a 1.4 million dollar mausoleum. It’s doubtful that Washington Irving ever expected such a hideous creature to truly come to the little township North of New York City.

#8 In The Vault, Like So Many Classics What’s weird about this one, is how very not weird it is. The lavish, luxurious Marilyn Monroe, known the world over by men and women alike (and known very well by a number of famous men), after all of her flash and pizzazz, was laid to rest in the Westwood Memorial Park Cemetery, and while she is accompanied by some greats like Dean Martin, Peter Falk, and Frank Zappa, it does seem like a less than lavish way to go, being stuck in a wall of vaults, surrounded by other corpses of former glory. That being said, Monroe’s presence along the crypt wall has certainly raised the price of real estate there, causing a bidding war that jacked the price of the vault above her to a staggering 4.6 million dollars. Surely many wanted to be on top of Marilyn in her time, but in death it seems a steep price to pay for such an honour. All the same, visitors to the site adorn the vault with well-plied, lipstick kisses, which makes one wonder… were there that many women who really loved her, or are there that many men willing to make a last impression?

#9 Shelley & Her Lover’s Heart It’s not so much the resting place here, as it is what is in the resting place. Famed author Mary Shelley (author of Frankenstein), was buried in St. Peter’s Church in Bournemouth, U.K., way back in 1851. Nothing weird about that. What is weird, however, is what Mary took with her when she died. Having drowned many years before Mary’s death, the famed poet Percy Shelley was cremated… all but his heart turned to ash. Unscathed (speculating calcification from TB saving it from the flames), the heart was turned to Mary, who kept it with her in a silk shroud. Unfortunately here is where the story deviates, depending on who is telling it, but the story once went that, wrapped in paper, Percy’s heart was placed in the casket with Mary Shelley. Unfortunately this incredibly romantic story turns out to be a poetic fantasy as the poet’s heart was interred with his son’s body, wrapped in the pages of Adonais (one of Percy’s last poems) in the family vault. So in a sense, his heart was reunited with his wife, but not until some time after her death.

#10 Sewn Into A Pillow After an incredible number of years, toting around a jar of ecstasy pills, snorting cocaine off any surface possible, and indulging in a big breakfast of anti-depressants, it’s no wonder that Michael Hutchence of INXS fame was found dead, hanging behind the main door of his hotel room. Whether auto-erotic or not, Hutchence died of asphyxiation, and thus ended an incredible career of excess. After very publicly and dramatically accusing ex-husband Bob Geldof of murdering Hutchence, and declaring that she would dye her prospective wedding dress black for Michael’s funeral, love Paula Yates attempted suicide, hooked up with a heroine addict in rehab, then fought for the ashes of Hutchence. Split between three urns: one for his mother and father respectively, and one for Paula, Hutchence was morbidly carried around everywhere that Yates went, until she finally sewed his ashes into a Gucci pillow of hers, so that she could still sleep with him. And who knows: maybe some of the prozac, booze, cocaine, and prescription meds are still in the ashes to help comfort her. As for the rest of poor Hutchence, he remains in his mother’s home, and in the ocean blue in the Sydney harbour in Australia.

#11 To Infinity And Beyond Star Trek creator Gene Roddenberry, as well as, eventually, actor James Doohan (Scotty), had the journey of a lifetime, after their deaths, continuing as they did in their work lives: among the stars. Celestis, a company that capitalizes on the grieving families of the deceased, offers the chance for the dead to “experience” space travel. Of course services are given on a sliding scale starting from “missions” to space that then return to Earth ($1,295), to Earth orbitals ($4,995), to Lunar orbitals ($12,500), and finally journeys to deep space ($12,500). Again, these prices are all “starting from”, so the more money you pay, the more fun your loved one’s ashes will likely have in space. Regardless of the ridiculously priced comfort people pay for in terms of grieving, there is certainly no better way for the likes of Roddenberry (his wife also) and Doohan to go than out into deep space, where they spent so much of their lives pretending to be. Though one might wonder what becomes of all of this space junk (especially to those in orbit), since what goes up, must eventually come down, as society has learned one too many times with satellites, and the like.

#12 There’s No Place Like Hollywood… The lovable Terry (Toto), was a Cairn terrier, with a not-so-original name, likely based simply on her breed. That’s right, HER breed. Born at the outset of World War II, and dying shortly after its end in 1945, Terry had performed in nearly a dozen movies with Shirley Temple, Spencer Tracy and, of course, the tragic Judy Garland. After her death, Terry was buried behind owner Carl Spitz’s property, where a number of other four-legged stars were laid to rest (Spitz being one of the forerunners for animal training in Hollywood). During the expansion of the Ventura Freeway, the property was purchased, and the burial grounds were destroyed, and one can only hope that the pet cemetery haunts motorists to this day on the massive freeway. Regardless of the fact that Terry’s remains were disturbed, and covered over with concrete, she remains immortalized as her most famous, male persona with an erected monument to Toto in the Hollywood Forever Cemetery.

#13 Give Me To The Highest Bidder Novelist, screenwriter, playwright, and actor Truman Capote, one of America’s most celebrated (especially for the renowned Breakfast At Tiffany’s), is perhaps one of the first deceased celebrities to be able to claim (if he were alive) to have had his remains sold off. Yup, Capote, after his death, was given to best friend Joanne Carson (Johnny Carson‘s ex-wife). Carson died only last year, and plenty of items went up for auction, including the remains of Truman Capote, packed neatly away in a beautifully carved Japanese box. Not wanting to merely sit on the shelf in death, it seems Capote will be getting his wishes, as the successful bidder for his ashes intends to travel with him, for sure. After his cremation in 1984, Truman was valued at $6000, but just last year was sold at auction for $45,000! A number of other Capote items went on the block as well ranging from clothing, to ice skates, and even prescription bottles that Carson had for some reason, that left the auction for $5000. Always living large, it seems that Truman Capote is still worth quite a bit to people, and will not find some new home in the arms of an anonymous bidder.

#14 Tupac Got Smoked… Literally Tupac‘s remains went just as Tupac himself did: he was smoked. Granted, when Tupac died it was because he was smoked by bullets in a drive-by shooting, but this grandiose hip-hop artist, riding with Death Row Records run by the absolutely, certifiably insane Suge Knight, was hit four times: twice in the chest, once in the arm, and once in the thigh, as he stood out the sunroof of the car he was in. The crime still remains unsolved, and while Notorious B.I.G. was accused of being involved in the shooting, he denied everything, swore he was in the studio recording that night, and was himself, a year later, shot and killed in a drive-by shooting. Dealing with the thug life, as well as the drug life, it’s no wonder that Tupac Shakur, upon being cremated, was partially divvied up among friends, rolled up with some primo ganja, and smoked. Made ever closer to his friends, Tupac went out in both the thug life and the drug life, smoked both ways in the end.

#15 A New Meaning To Disney’s Frozen Resting in the Forest Lawn Memorial Park Cemetery, it is indeed very sad to learn that the claim that Walt Disney was cryogenically frozen is in fact false. How perfect would that have been? That being said, the reason that there are so many claims about Walt being frozen is because of the claims of Bob Nelson, president of the California Cryogenics Society. Before Disney died, rather quickly, of lung cancer, it is claimed that he was in discussion with Nelson about wanting to be preserved until such a time that he might be cured, and then continue to live on (in spite of how shady the workings of cryonics are, even to this date, never mind how they were in 1966). Realistically, Walt Disney Sr. was cremated, and not frozen, no matter how perfect that would have been for Disney today, given all of the hype, even still, over Disney’s Frozen. I suppose we’ll just have to “Let It Go”.

Source: TheRichest

[universeinform-blog]

The American Health Care Act: the Republicans

New Post has been published on https://universeinform.com/2017/03/21/the-american-health-care-act-the-republicans/

The American Health Care Act: the Republicans

House Republicans released their lengthy-awaited substitute plan for the Cheap Care Act on Monday.

The Yankee Fitness Care Act was evolved at the side of the White House and Senate Republicans. Two big questions — what number of people it’ll cool and what kind of it’s going to fee — are nevertheless unresolved: it will probably cool fewer people than the Low-cost Care Act presently does, but we don’t recognize what number of. And the Congressional Budget Office has now not yet scored the law, so its charge tag is unknown.

However what we are able to say for sure is this:

Some of Obamacare’s signature capabilities are gone at once, such as the tax on individuals who don’t purchase Fitness care. Other protections, such as the ban on discriminating humans with pre-existing situations and the provision that allows teenagers to stay on their dad and mom’ plan thru age 26, could survive.

The plan maintains the Medicaid expansion — for now. The Affordable Care Act extended Medicaid to cowl millions of low-earnings People. And, in a big shift from previous drafts of the legislation, which ended Medicaid enlargement immediately, this bill might keep to that coverage enlargement thru January 1, 2020. At that point, enrollment would “freeze,” and legislators count on enrollees could drop out of the program as their learning exchange. The replacement plan blessings people who are healthy and excessive profits, and disadvantages those who are sicker and lower-income. The replacement plan would make numerous adjustments to what Health insurers can price enrollees who purchase coverage on the person marketplace, as well as converting what benefits their plans ought to cowl. In aggregate, these changes could be advantageous to younger and more healthy enrollees who need skimpier (and cheaper) advantage programs. but they can be high priced for older and sicker Obamacare enrollees, who depend upon the regulation’s modern requirements. The bill seems a lot more like Obamacare than preceding drafts. A curious component has happened to the Republican substitute plan because it has developed thru more than one drafts: it has started to look increasingly like Obamacare itself. The bill continues some key capabilities of Obamacare, like giving more help to lower earnings People and the Medicaid enlargement, in a scaled-again shape. This speaks to how entrenched the Healthcare law has become considering its enactment seven years ago, and the way difficult it is going to be for the GOP to repeal it entirely.

Living the American Dream Through Network Marketing

Is the American dream lifeless? Possibly it is just dormant or maybe it released an updated version of itself. maybe it, just maybe it is now not one-of-a-kind or dormant, however, has taken a brand new path for plenty humans. maybe the American dream from 50 years ago, might be similar to today. Too personal a domestic, to be financial at ease, to have an emergency fund simply in case of a meltdown inside the place of work. May want to it simply to have extra freedom as properly for some humans? What’s your American dream? One way to relaxed your goals is to have a livable and sustainable supply of earnings. Although it is working within the out of doors world or even with the resource of community advertising and marketing.

The Dream of Peace and Prosperity

What would you assert if you may obtain and prosper from a career? could you need to realize more? Did you realize you could attain this dream? it’s community advertising and it’s been around for many years. it is no longer a scam, there are lots of humans that installed sincere work and make a respectable dwelling. it’s the effort, the mindset, and determination that fuels achievement. Prosperity isn’t always only for the wealthy, however, is potential for lots of you obtainable. Many retirees are amassing monthly tests for part time paintings and it has eased the financial burden on them.

Locating the American Dream for you

Network advertising is a gateway that enables dreams and creates a sustainable lifestyle for people. it’s a home-based totally business that empowers you to create achievement. Sure, it may be difficult to attain a few desires, however, it does not imply that you can not achieve them. In case you already have fulfilled one dream, it is time to start every other. Discover that freedom and get empowered to alternate your situation. Nothing is guaranteed besides your will and backbone to make things happen. Life is hard paintings and may be challenging, but the type of work you do could make you satisfied If you like it. And In case you do then decide to it.

In case you’re bold and love working with human beings or era, then the network advertising profession can be just the proper ticket and suit for you. you may examine greater approximately community marketing so do a little research. Do not wait any other moment to make this yr, your year to reap fulfillment. Take step one forward to a better and a stronger you. If you want this, please percentage. Thank you for reading.

About The writer

Reading And Your Eye Health – Posture Tips For Better Vision.

Reading is a fave American interest. The advantages of Reading are not restrained to improving your vocabulary but this fun activity has a few amusement cost. As an example, novels with exciting plots create excitement and intrigue with our Analyzing fabric as the tale traces that are unfolding begin to tackle surprising and unexpected twists and turns. But, even as you examine it’s far essential to be aware of certain imaginative and prescient health habits which could end up both enhancing your vision fitness or making it worse. Some of these visible habits are desirable to your eyes while others aren’t. One example of a bad visual dependency even as Reading that has a terrible effect on eye health is bad posture. Therefore, right here are a few motives why poor posture even as Analyzing has a poor impact on your eye health. Moreover, here are some guidelines on what you may do to replace bad visual behavior even as Studying with suitable ones to maintain more healthy eyesight.

While you are Reading it is critical to take a seat in an upright function. That is due to the truth that Studying along with your head slumped down reasons the pull of gravity to your eyeballs to have a bad effect on your eyesight. This exertion of gravity at the eyeballs creates anxiety and stress in the eye muscle groups. This consequences in a series of bad outcomes on eye health. In line with Dr. Sasaki, an eye health practitioner specializing within the field of natural eye care, this results in eye fatigue, eye pressure and strain and anxiety in the attention muscle tissues.

Every other negative effect of poor posture whilst Studying on eye fitness is the improvement of Myopia as the pull of gravity on the eyeballs increases stress and tension in the attention muscle mass. Once this dependency is continued on an everyday foundation it can result in the weakening of the attention muscle tissues and additionally reasons the lengthening of the eyeballs; one of the factors that lead to the improvement of myopia.

You could save you this trouble via sitting upright at the same time as Analyzing. Try to avoid slumping or bending your head down whilst Studying. Instead, sit down upright in a cozy function and keep your Analyzing fabric at a parallel position approximately 20 inches out of your eyes.

Republicans Plan to End Medicare Immediately

As soon as Donald Trump is sworn into office, the first element Wisconsin Republican Congressman Paul Ryan is going to do is sponsor a bill to quit Medicare. He calls it “privatizing” Medicare and “modernizing” Medicare. What that means is that he’ll end the Medicare program and give it to non-public health insurance groups. If you’re over sixty-five, do not forget the way you have been just trying to bear, to make it to sixty-five so that you ought to sooner or later breathe a sigh of remedy when to procure Medicare? In case you’re beneath 65, you’ve got likely been placing in there and looking ahead to the large comfort of now not being at the mercy of health insurance businesses with their big deductibles and co-pays.

Health insurance organizations are not There to Offer Health Care

Medicare and the Veteran’s Administration Health care machine are the best medical health insurance structures inside the united states whose task is to ensure humans get get right of entry to to Fitness care. It really is all they do. The main project of personal coverage companies, then again, is without a doubt to make money for their CEO’s, top executives and percentage holders. Their dreams are to Provide the least quantity of Fitness take care of humans at least price to themselves. This is why, before ObamaCare, we had “pre-existing situations,” where, If you had the slightest Fitness problem, insurance companies should refuse to take you on. They also decreed that, if they had paid out a certain most quantity in your healthcare, you’d be reduce off for the rest of your life.

Medicare has never carried out any of that. We’ve had it from the time we attain sixty-five until we die. We’d constantly have Health care paid for. It really is all going to quit if the Republicans have their manner. Your Republican Senators and Congress people will say that our u. S . can not come up with the money for Medicare and that this may make certain people have lower priced Health care on into the destiny.

Republicans Say We can’t have enough money Medicare

They’re going to say that our u. S . can not afford to attend to its aged anymore; it is too high priced; it is an “out-dated” machine. (This isn’t always true; Democrats have a plan to make bigger Medicare.) Republicans’ plan is to present everybody a voucher for a sure sum of money that they could use towards personal medical insurance. That amount will cover the simplest part of the price of an inferior medical insurance plan. That quantity will also now not maintain going up as medical health insurance premiums go up, so you may be procuring increasingly of the premiums your self, as an alternative of having Medicare. You’ll additionally be paying massive deductibles and you will be paying co-bills. beneath Medicare as We have recognized it, monthly charges are low, the deductible is tiny and there are not any co-bills for the first-class plan, that is Plan F.

[sherristockman]

How to Improve Your Failing Ability to Read Clearly as You Age, With the Help of Sunshine Dr. Mercola By Dr. Mercola Nearsightedness is incredibly common, affecting an estimated 40 percent of Americans and up to 90 percentof young adults in Asian countries.1 According to research published in 2009, rates of nearsightedness in the U.S. have risen by 66 percent since the early 1970s.2 A 2015 study estimated up to one-third of the world's population may be nearsighted by the end of the decade — that's 2.5 billion people.3 The following year, a meta-analysis of 145 studies predicted nearly half of the world will be nearsighted by the year 2050.4 Just what might be causing this rapid mass-deterioration of vision? One longstanding theory was that excessive reading at close distance (particularly in poor lighting) could lead to nearsightedness by altering growth and shape of the eyeball. As computers and smartphones grew in popularity, squinting at computer screens has received a majority of the blame. The "bookworm theory" first emerged centuries ago when German astronomer Johannes Kepler claimed his studies caused his nearsightedness. It seemed plausible enough, especially as rates of the condition skyrocketed in regions like Shanghai, where teens spend about 14 hours a week on homework.5 However, once investigated further, the bookwork theory came up short. When researchers looked at number of books read per week or hours spent using a computer among children in Singapore, no significant link to nearsightedness was actually found.6 According to the authors, "neither reading nor parental myopia history were associated with values for anterior chamber depth, corneal curvature, or lens thickness." They went on to suggest that "corneal curvature and lens thickness may be subject to unrelated postnatal growth control mechanisms." Interestingly, a number of studies now suggest one of these control mechanisms might be sun exposure. What Causes Nearsightedness? Nearsightedness (myopia), is a vision problem in which close objects appear clear but distant objects are blurry. This condition is thought to be caused by refractive errors in your eye. Refraction is the bending of light as it passes through one object to another. When light rays are refracted through your eye's cornea and lens, they become focused on the retina, which then converts the light into messages sent through the optic nerve to your brain, which then interprets the messages into images. Refractive errors occur when the shape of your eye prevents light from focusing properly on your retina. This can occur by changes in the shape of your eye, such as the length of your eyeball or shape of your cornea, and/or changes in your lens due to aging. But what exactly is responsible for these changes? Two studies, the first published in 20077 and the second in 2008,8 found that rates of nearsightedness in children appeared to be closely linked to the amount of time spent outdoors. The greater the number of hours spent playing outside, the lower the risk of nearsightedness. In other words, keeping kids indoors and/or instilling a fear of sun exposure (for skin cancer reasons) may be at the heart of the world's growing myopia problem. Remarkably, according to a British survey, 75 percent of children in the U.K. spend less time outdoors than prison inmates!9 Sun Exposure Needed for Optimal Vision Most recently, British researchers investigated the connection between the time spent outdoors and vision among the elderly.10,11,12 As reported by The New York Times:13 "Researchers … gave vision exams to more than 3,100 older European men and women and interviewed them at length about their education, careers and how often they remembered being outside during various stages of their lives. This biographical information was then cross-referenced with historical data about sunlight, originally compiled for research on skin cancer and other conditions. Strong correlations were found between current eyesight and volunteers' lifetime exposure to sunlight, above all UVB radiation … Those who had gotten the most sun, particularly between the ages of 14 and 19, were about 25 percent less likely to have developed myopia by middle age. Exposure to sunlight up to the age of 30 also conferred a protective benefit." Importantly, this relationship remained even after controlling for time spent reading, showing that gazing at screens or books is more or less unrelated to myopia, while sun exposure appears to be a primary factor. The question is how does light actually affect the structure of the eye? Since blood tests were drawn, they could conclude that the reduction in myopia was NOT related to vitamin D. As noted by lead author Katie Williams, a clinical research fellow at King's College London, "People with myopia have long eyeballs, so there must be something in sunlight that affects how the eye grows, especially in childhood." On a side note, they did find a correlation between myopia and lutein concentrations in the blood. Lutein, found in egg yolks and leafy greens, is known for its protective influence on eyesight and the prevention of age-related macular degeneration (AMD). Here, those with the highest levels of lutein had a 43 percent lower risk of myopia compared to those with the lowest levels. As for how sunlight affects eye development, animal research14 published in 2010 suggests bright light exposure helps protect your eyes by stimulating the growth of key elements in the retina, and by increasing the functioning of antioxidants in the eye. An even earlier study, published in 2008,15 showed that infrared light — found in sunlight — activates cytochrome oxidase, a photosenstive molecule located in your mitochondria. Activating this molecule led to increased cellular activity in the retina, and an increase in antioxidant properties. Meanwhile, research has shown that cytochrome C oxidase deficiency is a factor in age-related macular degeneration (AMD), which is a primary cause of blindness.16 Outdoor Playtime May Significantly Reduce Your Child's Risk of Myopia Another recent study,17 this one from Canada, found that spending just one more hour outdoors each week may decrease a child's risk of myopia by 14 percent. To reach this conclusion, the scientists conducted eye exams on 166 first through eighth grade students. In grade 1, 6 percent had myopia. By age 13, that percentage skyrocketed to 29 percent. The parents were then interviewed to ascertain the amount of time each child typically spent outdoors each week. Again, this turned out to be a major predictive factor for myopia. Previous research by Ian Morgan of the Australian National University suggests that exposure to light levels of at least 10,000 lux for three hours a day may protect children from nearsightedness.18 This is the amount of light you would be exposed to on a bright summer day. An indoor classroom, by comparison, would only provide about 500 lux. Yet another study showed that by encouraging Taiwanese children at one school to spend their daily 80-minute break outdoors, rates of myopia dropped to 8 percent compared to 18 percent at another nearby school.19 According to optometrist Donald Mutti, children who are genetically predisposed to nearsightedness are 300 percent less likely to need glasses if they spend at least 14 hours a week outdoors.20 In Singapore, public health campaigns have even been introduced encouraging children to get outdoors to prevent nearsightedness. The slogan? "Keep myopia away, go outdoors and play!"21 Indeed, it seems clear that the more time children spend outdoors, the lower their risk of nearsightedness becomes, and the more we learn about the influence of sunlight on human biology and health, the more this connection makes sense. Bright Light Is Important for Overall Health When full-spectrum light (i.e. sunlight) enters your eyes, it not only goes to your visual centers enabling you to see, it also goes to your brain's hypothalamus where it impacts your entire body. For starters, your hypothalamus controls body temperature, hunger and thirst, water balance and blood pressure. It also controls your body's master gland, the pituitary, which secretes many essential hormones, including those that influence your mood. Your "body clock" is also housed in tiny centers located in the hypothalamus, controlling your body's circadian rhythm. This light-sensitive rhythm is dependent on natural cycles of light and darkness, to function optimally. Consequently, anything that disrupts these rhythms, like inadequate sunlight exposure to your body (including your eyes) or chronic exposure to unopposed blue light from artificial lights, has a far-reaching impact on your body's ability to function. Some experts even believe that "malillumination" to light is what malnutrition is to food. The best way to get exposure to healthy full-spectrum light is to do it the way nature intended, by going outside, exposing your bare skin — and "bare" eyes — to the sun on a regular basis. Sunlight Is Also Important for the Prevention of Blindness Download Interview Transcript As explained by Dr. Alexander Wunsch, a world class expert on photobiology, full-spectrum light such as sunlight is also a significant factor in blindness and optimal health. More specifically, the widespread use of energy efficient light-emitting diodes (LEDs) may be setting the stage for an avalanche of AMD in coming decades. The reason for this is because LED lighting has no near-infrared light, emitting primarily blue light, and this has biological consequences that impair your vision over time. The heat generated by incandescent light bulbs (which is infrared radiation) is actually highly beneficial to your health, and hence worth the extra energy cost. In your eyes, the near-infrared light range primes the cells in your retina for repair and regeneration from the damage blue light causes in the retina. Meanwhile, LEDs, which have virtually no infrared and an excess of blue light, generates reactive oxygen species (ROS) instead. You do need some blue light, especially in the morning for melatonin production, but you need it to be balanced with the healing and repairing red and near-infrared frequencies, like it is in natural sunlight. This explains why LEDs are so harmful for your eyes and overall health. The same applies to electronic screens such as TVs, computers, tablets and smartphones. They all emit primarily blue light, and the excess ROS generation may have a great deal to do with the deterioration of vision. The blue light is also deleterious for your circadian rhythm. Electronic screens should be avoided at least a couple of hours before bedtime to avoid suppressing melatonin production. Interestingly, research22 shows that infrared light exposure may even reverse AMD. Even more remarkable, infrared light over the thyroid area has been shown to reverse hypothyroidism! It seems the more we learn about light, the more crucial it appears to be for biological functioning and optimal health. It's important to realize that light is actually a significant part of the equation for biological energy production, specifically at the mitochondrial ATP level. Hence it affects your overall health, not just your eyes. Importantly, full-spectrum light — light that includes the near-infrared spectrum (750 to 1400 nm) — generates structured water in your cells, which plays an important role in biological functioning, including your cardiovascular function. To learn more about this, please see my interview with Dr. Thomas Cowan. I also discuss this in my recent article, "Water Supports Health in Ways You May Never Have Suspected." In summary, to protect your eyesight and overall health, be sure to get bright sun exposure especially in the early part of the day and, when indoors, use clear (not white-coated) incandescent light bulbs in areas where you spend most of your time. Candles can also be used, especially at night, and are even better and healthier than incandescents. I also believe it is imperative to use blue-blocking glasses after sunset, unless the only light exposure you have is candles. Once you have your glasses on, it doesn't matter what kind of light bulbs you use. Candles — Another Healthy Light Alternative Candles are even a better light source than incandescent bulbs, as there is no electricity involved and is the light our ancestors have used for many millennia, so our bodies are already adapted to it. The only problem is that you need to be careful about using just any old candle, as most are toxic. As you may or may not know, many candles available today are riddled with toxins, especially paraffin candles. Did you know that paraffin is a petroleum by-product created when crude oil is refined into gasoline? Further, a number of known carcinogens and toxins are added to the paraffin to increase burn stability, not including the potential for lead added to wicks, and soot invading your lungs. To complicate matters, a lot of candles, both paraffin and soy, are corrupted with toxic dyes and fragrances; some soy candles are only partially soy with many other additives and/or use GMO soy. The candles I use are non-GMO soy, which is clean burning without harmful fumes or soot, is grown in the U.S. and is both sustainable and renewable. They're also completely free of dyes. The soy in these candles is not tested on animals and is free of herbicides and pesticides. It's also kosher, 100 percent natural and biodegradable. The fragrances are body safe, phthalate- and paraben-free, and contain no California prop 65 ingredients. You can search online for healthy candles, but if you like, you can use the ones I found at http://ift.tt/2eyIdNT. This is not an affiliate link and I earn no commissions on these candles; I just thought you might benefit from the ones I now use in my home. How to Make Digital Screens Healthier When it comes to computer screens, it is important to reduce the correlated color temperature down to 2,700 K — even during the day, not just at night. It's even better to set it below 2000K or even 1000K. Many use f.lux to do this, but I have a great surprise for you as I have found a FAR better alternative that was created by Daniel Georgiev, a 22-year-old Bulgarian programmer that Ben Greenfield introduced to me. He was using F.lux but became frustrated with the controls. He attempted to contact the F.lux programmers but they never got back to him, so he created a massively superior alternative called Iris. It is free, but you'll want to pay the $2 and reward him with the donation. You can purchase the $2 Iris mini software here. Iris is better because it has three levels of blue blocking below f.lux: dim incandescent, candle and ember. I have been using ember after sunset and measured the spectrum and it blocked nearly all light below 550 nm, which is spectacular, as you can see in the image below when I measured it on my monitor in the ember setting. When I measured the f.lux at its lowest setting of incandescent it showed loads of blue light coming through, as you can clearly see in the second image below. So, if you are serious about protecting your vision you will abandon f.lux software and switch to Iris. I have been using it for about three months now, and even though I have very good vision at the age of 62 and don't require reading glasses, my visual acuity seems to have dramatically increased. I believe this is because I am not exposing my retina to the damaging effects of blue light after sunset. Iris Software: F.lux Software: Diet Also Plays a Role in Nearsightedness and AMD When it comes to protecting your vision, your diet also plays an important role, as your eyes need certain nutrients in order to function properly. Dark leafy greens are particularly important, as they're rich in carotenoids like zeaxanthin and lutein. Zeaxanthin is an antioxidant carotenoid found in your retina, but it cannot be made by your body, so you must get it from your diet. Other important nutrients include animal-based omega-3 fats, vitamins A, C and E, and zinc.23 AMD, as well as cataracts, are largely driven by free radical damage, and may in many cases be largely preventable through antioxidant-rich foods such as: ✓ Astaxanthin ✓ Animal-based omega-3 fat (found in wild-caught Alaskan salmon). ✓ Anthocyanins (found in blueberries, bilberries, and black currants) ✓ Vitamin D ✓ Lutein and zeaxanthin ✓ Bioflavonoids (found in tea, cherries, and citrus fruits) Your diet can also influence your risk for nearsightedness. According to Loren Cordain, an evolutionary biologist at the Colorado State University in Fort Collins, elevated insulin levels affect the development of your eyeball, making it abnormally long, thereby causing near-sightedness.24 Cordain found that when hunter-gatherer societies change their lifestyles and introduce grains and carbohydrates, they rapidly develop (within a single generation) myopia rates that equal or exceed those in western societies. The reason for this is because high insulin levels from excess carbohydrates can increase insulin resistance and disturb the delicate choreography that normally coordinates eyeball lengthening and lens growth. And if the eyeball grows too long, the lens can no longer flatten itself enough to focus a sharp image on the retina. This theory is also consistent with observations that you're more likely to develop myopia if you are overweight or have adult-onset diabetes, both of which involve elevated insulin levels. Following my nutrition plan will help normalize your insulin level by reducing, or eliminating, excess sugar and processed grains from your diet. To learn more about which foods can help safeguard your vision, please see my previous articles, "Eat Right to Protect Your Eyesight," and "The Best Foods for Healthy Eyes." How the Bates Method May Improve Your Nearsightedness Download Interview Transcript If you're already nearsighted, all is not lost. According to Greg Marsh, a certified natural vision coach, clear vision is achievable even if you're already wearing strong corrective lenses. The method Greg teaches was initially conceived by Dr. William H. Bates, over 100 years ago. A board-certified ophthalmologist at the top of his field, Dr. Bates taught his method to many, and it was so effective that it ended up being banned in New York after the optometrists lobbied the local politicians. So how does the Bates Method work? Marsh explains: "Basically, there are six muscles on the outside of your eye, and they're moving it around ... Ideally, these muscles are easily following visual interests ... The problem is — it could be for emotional reasons, physical stress, or whatever — you start to strain. Once you start to strain, your vision starts to go." The action of straining essentially squeezes your eyeballs, contorting them. This makes your vision blurry, as it alters where the field of vision "lands" on your retina. Now you have three basic choices: Find out what's stressing you, making you strain. Let it go, relax, and get your vision back. Bates developed ingenious tools for doing just that Get laser in-situ keratomileusis (LASIK), which permanently alters your focal length Get corrective lenses. The problem with corrective lenses is that now you're creating permanent strain The Bates Method isn't really an exercise; it's more of a mental approach. It's also worth noting that the Bates Method is clearly NOT a medical approach. You still need to see your regular eye doctor for checkups. One of the most famous Bates Method techniques is palming. Look around and notice the level of clarity of your vision at present. Then, simply place the center of your palms over your eyes. Relax your shoulders. You may want to lean forward onto a table or a stack of pillows, to facilitate relaxation. Relax like this for at least two minutes. Then remove your hands, open your eyes, and notice whether anything looks clearer. Usually, it will. The Bates Method is really quite simple, yet it requires patience and a certain amount of finesse. Remember, the goal is not to "train" or exercise your eyes to make them stronger. The goal is to relax them. Greg's program provides thorough instructions that can help you get there. Also, remember that your mindset is important. Bates was also a proponent of sunning the eyes to help correct vision problems,25 and recent research suggests he was on the right track 100 years ago. It just goes to show that, as humans, we cannot extract ourselves too far from the natural world. Indeed, we depend on the natural order of things to thrive, and that includes being exposed to sunlight during the daytime, and avoiding light exposure once the sun has set. Altering this natural order has consequences for our health, including but certainly not limited to our vision.

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this remains one of my favorites

she's ALWAYS choosing violence lol (there's no such thing as chill for Bree Davenport)

when two of your brothers are blind