#they fucking made the lactation jokes with the wrong character look at those things

[dennisboobs]

[thelastangryman-blog]

Ah! You Know What I Mean; Write?

A Three Course Meal Regarding the Current State of Converse Today

 1.       Definition

 When it comes to the Star Trek (series) debate; I’d be partial to Voyager. Not because it’s part of the Star Wars franchise. It was just a good show.

 I liked Captain Janeway and the crew; their adventures as they tried to get home. The Doctor and 7’s relationship – right in the feels that moment he confessed his love to her before the virus that was eating his programme deleted him forever. After he took his last virtual breath... the Captain asked the computer to run the back-up Doctor programme. #morto. But I digress.

One of the recurring enemies was The Borg Collective. ‘We are Borg. We are many.’

They were a human/machine hybrid with a collective hive mind. Totally badass; really got my 15 year old nihilist going, when I wasn’t masturbating to 7 or Janeway. Though as menacing as The Borg were, Species 8472 had The Borg scared.

Though we haven’t reached The Borg level of ‘resistance is futile’ yet, as if we had none of this Otherkin preferred pronouns triggers warnings would have seen the light of day. But we do have the collective hive mind – Facebook, Twitter and Tumblr: where the individual is problematic.

‘We are The Parroting Collective. We are many.  And we have a thousand and one shoeboxes of identity and gender politics.’

 Diluting words to the nth degree: peeling a layer off each time we place it in our shoeboxes until there’s literally nothing left of the word. Just like when Hugh Mungus raped Zarna Joshi.Intersectionalising and filibustering them into dust with no substance or taste left. Any wonder people are hesitant to speak their mind when they no longer know what words are now considered micro-aggressions. Everyone wants to start a conversation but no one wants to contribute. Individual comment is smothered by the collective’s blanket of buzzwords that bring nothing to the conversation but only make it more difficult and confusing. Words have to start meaning something again.

Arguments are now made by unlearning and rewording. As long as you submit a tomb of footnotes to confirm what you’re not saying. Predicating every statement; post and thought with a completed-abridged TL;DR A-Z of the things you stand for and don’t. All those pointless labels that first have to be seen and checked off some imaginary list so what you’re saying/asking can be allowed and only after every problematic word has been over-lapped on Venn diagrams into a black hole: finally to consult color-coded reference charts for the appropriate response.   Or the more frightening reality of discourse today: being fired, doxed or handed the racist, sexist, misogyny card – a hat-trick with as much validity as the original Holy Trinity – shown so many times it’s blank at this stage; you can write whatever you want on them when their definitions change every half hour.

Language itself is in a serious state dysphoria. And what does language trans into? Emojis and hashtags. Hieroglyphics?

 We’ve become so tightly wound, every word is negative-red and we charge-in-positive with hair triggers and its civil war in the comment section over an opinion: a word that is spelt with 2 eyes. I would go even further and say 4, 2 silent ones. We have to stop constructing rebuttals with our feelings. Argue the principle, the point; not the passion. All the facts and figures count for nothing if your passion speaks for you.

Ask any vegan, they’re a funny bunch. They’ve facts and figures for every sort of fact and figure and yet; they’re still a fringe-whinging minority. I sincerely admire their passion but when you share pictures of a child in a baking tray adorned with vegetables and an apple in their mouth… How can you reasonably respond to that?

I do see their point of view. I understand the argument they’re making. But their passion moots their point. Yet, I’d easily debate any meat-eater about the healthy, humane alternatives: though I’m still going to have a chop for dinner. Phss... You know that squirt you get in your mouth when you chomp into a sausage – that blast of hot delicious goodness that, that’s the essence of vegan tears.

And spare me the: you know there’s more potato in McDonald’s chips than meat in a sausage. So. Some people say abortion’s murder. Doesn’t mean they’re wrong. A true reflect of character, the individual as a whole, is not found in an opinion. Or half an argument.

 And if you’re wondering what this has to do with Star Trek? Well, I think we can all agree that that prequel of an abomination can fuck right off.

 2.       The Other R-Word

 Rape can be problematic. I’ve thought about it. I suppose a lot of us have at some point. It can be an alternative or at the very least; it can help reduce your meal costs. But you know yourself… F.C.E, %D.M.D and the other factors. And this all depends: are you fattening cattle or is it for pre-lactating ewes? Ha. Ha.

Make sure you know what you looking at before charging because sometimes son, the curtains are just blue. Whatever happened to face value? Will someone please put up some flyers or photos on milk cartons? But would we recognise it; if we saw it again? If postulating landed you in a straight jacket or the wrong side of the law, then where would we be? Still in the cave and not exploring space through the Stargate Universe. Though I think we moved back in, the cave, sometime ago. Did some renovations; got rid of the rock and replaced it with glass.

 We have to become familiar again with how to listen to the words that people are using and their context in-relation to the topic been discussed: individually and not interpreted through the tone-deaf shared collective. And learn to ignore the echo-friendly conscious bias sound-byte, a hard thing to do in a cave. I’ve always enjoying climbing trees, that’s not a metaphor but this is.

There’s more to a tree than the bright topical, ignorant, leaves on display. It’s not magic that has them floating there. Look passed the red leaves; see the branches they are connected to. Sometimes that’s where the point is made or found. But leaves tend to blow away with the passing breezes. The branches stay there. If you wanted to extend that metaphor, you could say that the leaves are a result of the roots that anchor the trunk to the ground.  But I’m no tree expert. However I do know that timber warms you 7 times.

Of course a words meaning, tone and context can change – I should know; I am literally a bastard, born in a country that used to take them from their mothers (Now, bastard’s the default birth cert setting) – but overtime and naturally. Simply squawking like a hen after laying an egg regarding the term Cis Privilege and how it has to mean something: aren’t you just a delightful little block of wood; Pinocchio.  And speaking of intelligent design, my old friends... The Vegans, God love them. They make funny arguments claiming that A.I (Artificial Insemination) is rape because the cow can’t give consent. And please, don’t take my word for it. Look that up. I dare you; I’ve been down that rabbit hole. Which leads me to the conclusion that, in that context, of a vegan narrative, it would allow for some hilarious rape jokes. I said look it up. I’m just mining the gold I see. The gold that it is. Nobody owns the river, Nestle would disagree. But fuck them.

 The books of Nietzsche and Kahlil Gibran thought me a lot about the individual but so did #197. She was an auld ewe we had years back. I would say she taught me more because she was real. The Internet doesn’t matter. Real life is more important.

  3.       Hocus-Pocus

 Anyone who’s ever received a rejection letter – or as they are known in the biz; a PFO – will know: all the complaining won’t change a damn thing. You have to be precise with your one shot.

 Here’s a classic scene from Cheers.

Sam, the ladies man, was told by one of the barmaids that no matter what her friend asked, he was to say no. And only no! She was worried her friend would be corrupted by Sam and his silver tongue. So Sam eventually agreed. The friend came in and sure enough, she asked Sam this question.

‘Would you mind coming home with me?’

 We have to stop blindly building walls with wonky words then we hold everyone accountable for poor construction when they naturally fall down upon us. Meow. And please trust me when I say: trees are a pure hoor for knockin’ walls and Lady Limestone has taken all my fingernails at some point, irregardless of what I wanted.

What we hear will be an echo of what we ask and we have to stop being so outraged over basic math.  If your figures don’t add up, may be you need to check your calculations then reword them up again. You’d be surprised.

I originally had ‘afraid’ instead of hesitant.  (Part 1, Par 4, line 4)

We have to start taking responsibility for the words we use. They’re all we have to communicate, sincerely and properly. This P.C culture and egregious hyperbole are the 2 current threats to freedom of speech.

P.C for the obvious reasons. Now hyperbole in a piece of work; a character’s narrative – that’s what makes it funny. But everyday interactions with co-workers and strangers; a serious debate; asking out someone you fancy; accusing Hugh Mungus of sexual harassment; a national conversation. No! You have to use proper words. It’s getting to the point where people don’t know what to think, let alone say.

We’re not the Borg. We are individuals. For now, we’re allowed  to hold opinions and ideas that are not your own and ask ‘Why the hell not?’ Or ‘What’s going on here?’ As for your personal experience on the subject in question, be it in-depth or non existence, it has no merit in the argument. (Part 1, 1st par, 2nd sentence) You cannot apply conditions to asking questions. I will disagree with others and not assimilate.

Holding the opinion that the term Rape Culture is akin to Cis Privilege in terms of its validity is not the same as saying ‘I condone rape.’ And I abhor the fact I have to tack on, so cheaply, that caveat. That’s how bad it’s got. We can no longer differentiate between this and that. We’ve forgotten how to separate personal from professional – Kim Davis!

 Words have to start meaning something again. But for the love of every made up Deity: they’re not magic spells; uttering them won’t make it happen, so until then, and only then will word-policing be relevant, needed and necessary. And I’m so confident that that day will never come *Blesses himself* it will also be the day I become vegan.

 Hopefully by then there’ll be an episode of Star Trek where they don’t break the Prime Directive.