#they feel so nostalgic in a way.................

[badhee]

𝑼𝑵𝑩𝑹𝑬𝑨𝑲𝑨𝑩𝑳𝑬 ⋅˚₊ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅

pairing: musician bf!heeseung x skater gf!reader ft. jake & sunoo genre/tags: smut, fluff, some angst, takes place in the year ‘08, scenecore aesthetic, forbidden relationship, references to old media n other stuff, mentions of weed, way too much dialogue, very cringey texting (it’s fitting for that time period tho lol), y/n has a toxic home life, heeseung and y/n get into an argument but gets resolved quickly, mentions of crying, switch!hee (he do be switchin’), fingering, oral (m. rec), semi-public sex, piv, unprotected sex, creampie words: 7k+

[ note. ] — this is another old fic of mines from my old blog that i wrote over a year ago (05/30/23), i felt nostalgic reading this again so i wanted to share it on my page!

No one likes being given lectures or told they can’t do something. If anything— it only drives the person to want to do it more. Unlucky for you, you were about to receive yet another antagonizing speech as soon as you arrive back home. It’s past 10 o’clock and way beyond dark, you should’ve been home a good hour ago. This was all Jake and Sunoo’s fault though; they were the ones who kept distracting you from keeping track of time.

They wouldn’t stop bombarding you with messages on MySpace. Spamming your inbox asking you to meet them at the mall after classes. Sunoo really wanted to get a Skelanimal hoodie from Hot Topic and Jake wanted to look around Spencer’s. You only bought a fuzzy Domo-Kun keychain for your bag. The only goal you had was to save as much money as possible in hopes of being able to eventually move out.

You had overbearing and controlling parents, they were strict and had extreme core values for the household. It was nearly impossible to live up to their excessively high standards so you started going against them. Self-expression was not something they celebrated, instead they treated it with disdain. They thought your dyed hair, dark clothes, and excessive use of eyeliner was “too eccentric” and the work of the “devil”. It also didn’t help that they absolutely hated all your friends, including your boyfriend, Heeseung.

On a random night, you had him over while you thought everyone was gone for a while. Turns out they arrived back earlier than expected and ended up catching you and Heeseung red handed, making out in your bed. Your parents were completely mortified to see a boy covered head to toe in tattoos and piercings with their daughter. Not exactly the ideal man they had in mind for you. It was hell to pay for you after that, they never wanted you seeing him again. Threat after threat to kick you out all because they believe he was nothing but a bad influence on you.

Will you ever listen though? Of course not, you love him like crazy. There was nothing getting in your way from seeing him. You’re an adult and can make your own logical decisions, they still treated you like a baby which infuriated you. Naturally your only choice now was to date in secrecy, sneaking out the house so you can go hang out at his place. You had a solid routine at this point— just wait until everyone was asleep and sneak out through the window. Your house was only one level so ideally it worked out perfect. Once you got out successfully, Heeseung would pick you up and just drive around for a bit sometimes. Today would be no different, you were on your way to sneak out again.

You skated all the way back home from the mall since neither Jake or Sunoo had a car. Listening to Bring Me The Horizon on your iPod while sipping on a slushy from 7-Eleven, one more block until you got home. You pivot your board to the side entering your driveway; feeling that pit in your stomach knowing what’s about to erupt. You lift your board up from the ground and walk inside the house with it.

“Where the fuck have you been y/n?! It’s 10:45 pm on a school night! You better not have been hanging out with those damn junkies again!” Your mom practically screams in your face the minute you walk through the door.

“I was just at the skatepark after class, leave me alone!” You snap back at her viciously, “and for the last time, they’re not fucking junkies they’re my friends!”

Now seeing her face visibly redden with anger, she points her finger at you harshly. “Who the hell are you talking to like that? I’m the one who runs shit around here, not you. Speak to me like that again and you’re going to wish you’ve never been born, got it?”

You really couldn’t help but laugh in her face, you’ve heard it all at this point.

“That’s hilarious, you make it seem like even I asked to be brought into this shitty world to begin with!” You shove her out the way, walk to your room and block out the rest of her nonsensical hollering.

Finally you’re able to text Heeseung in peace. Your heart was still pounding from that whole encounter. You don’t stand up to your mom often enough, praying to God that she doesn’t end up kicking you out right this instant. Pulling out your BlackBerry phone with a sliding keyboard, you text your boyfriend after hours of not talking.

Seungieeee, where r u ? xc

He replies to your message almost instantly,

@ Jake’s. can i scoop?

Yes pls get meee, my mom’s being an annoying cunt again!!

Not again… ok will be there in 10. cul8r

Also Jake is having horror movie night he says i have to come -_-

Tell him we MUST watch bride of chucky or else i’ll fuck him up >:[

I gotchu babe lmaoo :p

You quickly change into different clothes and reapply your smeared eyeliner from earlier. It was safe to say you needed to pack a few things in your bag incase of having to stay over; who knows how tonight might ensue. Since it became frigid outside you put on your favorite hoodie which was previously Heeseung’s. You’ve grown a lot of attachment to it over time. The most sickening part of it was that even after months of wearing it you still never washed it, wanting to keep the scent of him lingering on it for as long as you could. The smell of him brought you a sense of comfort, whenever you’d come home and your mom starts cursing at you you’d just curl up in bed cuddling with Heeseung’s hoodie.

A loud thump clamoring against your window startles you. You come closer in it’s direction to slowly walk up and see what the commotion was.

*Thump*

There it goes again.

You froze in confusion, feeling a bit worried now. Could it just be the wind?

You swing open the curtain to reveal your boyfriend, standing outside the window actively throwing rocks to get your attention. You couldn’t believe he’d attempt something so bold like this, your parents weren’t asleep and could catch you at any minute. Prying open the window so you can finally talk, you tell him to back away and stop causing a ruckus.

“Are you fucking crazy? My mom’s in the living room, quit making all that damn noise!”

“I got tired of waiting, just wanted to see you already!” He whines, anxiously waiting for you the whole time.

He literally just saw you yesterday but is so obsessed that he could never get sick of being around you.

“Gimme one sec.” You pause to grab all your stuff and jump out the window to go meet him.

Almost lost your balance in the process but thankfully Heeseung swooped in to keep you stable. You landed backwards into his chest and felt the warmth of his body against you. Your boyfriend was too dreamy, every part of him made your kitty throb. He was more than just a pretty face though, he was a hard-working musician too. He played the guitar, drums, and could sing beautifully. He was the true definition of a one man show, his real passion was to become a singer and songwriter.

You fully supported him in anything in he does, he uploaded most of his music on MySpace and got thousands of interactions instantly. His songs would continue to grow more popular online and he got more gigs to perform at shows. You were beyond ecstatic for him but also worried about it all in hindsight. The more famous he gets the less quality time he’ll be able to spend with you. You know this sounds really selfish but it always crosses your mind. The fear of losing him was something you just couldn’t fathom or grasp right now.

“Ugh, I’ve missed you so so much my pretty baby.” Heeseung didn’t waste a single minute to smother you in the car. His lips plastered all over your face, always doing the absolute most when showing his affection towards you.

“Missed— you too— babe!” You muffle in between kisses, your heart was overwhelmed with joy.

He looked exceptionally good today too, then again he always does. Bright orange strands hid the side of his face, the semi-oversized black t-shirt he wore clung to his body perfectly, and the snake bites and eyebrow piercing on him was to die for.

“Oh! You like my new piercing I got?” Heeseung announces after pulling away.

He proceeds to open his mouth and stick his tongue out, revealing a shiny silver ball smack dab in the middle. You weren’t shocked that he’d consider another piercing, you’re just surprised by the placement.

“Whoa, your tongue!” You gasp, pointing at it in amusement, “looks so cool, did that hurt?!”

“Not really, and thanks. Got it to please you better babe.” He knew he was causing to get all flustered by this.

“Y-you already please me enough Hee.” It was hard to even get a sentence out without tripping over words.

“I know that! But it can always be improved, right?”

There was nothing he really needed to improve but he found new ways to do it anyway. You really just loved him for who he is, all the extra stuff were added bonuses. He was the best boyfriend you could ever ask for in the whole universe.

“Do you want anything while we’re out? I can stop at the store and get that pink Monster drink you like.” He asks tentatively.

You think about it for a second but you just had a slushy from earlier, “I think I’m okay for now, hopefully Jake has some snacks at his crib!”

Heeseung nods, “Oh he def will, the guy smokes more than a damn chimney and gets a crazy case of the munchies.”

The whole ride there you listened to Heeseung’s music on a CD he burned. You were definitely his biggest fan, knowing all the lyrics to every single song because most were written about you. One of his most popular songs was an entire dedication to you, he never mentioned your name in it but every aspect of the song includes a small detail of your relationship. He liked the art of hidden subliminal messages in his music, knowing that only you two can fully understand.

Finally, you get to Jake’s house and are immediately met with gusts of clouds from all the smoke. You spot a blue-haired Jake and red-haired Sunoo who were sitting on the couch smoking a joint and giggling amongst themselves. You weren’t against smoking it just wasn’t your thing since you knew that you’d be in so much trouble if you showed up home high.

“Jakey! Sunny!” Your voice becomes more high-pitched when greeting your friends as you go up to hug them.

“Y/n! It’s always good to see you again.” Jake says, hugging you back.

“Hii y/n, come sit and watch the movie with us!” Sunoo scoots over to make room for you both.

Heeseung was just here so he didn’t feel the need to say hi to them again, instead just sitting down and having you on his lap.

“What’re we watching?” You ask, looking at the TV trying to make out what the movie is. “This doesn’t look like Bride of Chucky to me!”

“Jeepers Creepers 2!” Jake replies, “it’s not as scary as the first one to be honest but it’s still pretty decent. Oh, and I don’t have that one on DVD sorry.”

“Are you serious?! I could’ve went to Blockbuster and rented the damn movie out!” You were a little upset you wouldn’t be able to watch one of your favorites.

“It’s okay y/n, we’ll watch it next time. Also, I thought this movie was pretty scary Jake. I still get nightmares after watching it alone…” Sunoo admits.

“Of course you did, ‘cause you’re a big baby!” Heeseung teases, “and you’re baked off your ass? This is gonna be an interesting time.”

“You should’ve seen him earlier, he wouldn’t stop crying while watching Silent Hill!” Jake adds, pointing over in Sunoo’s direction.

“That never happened fuck off! You go try watching that shit in pitch black at 3 am and see what happens then!” Sunoo huffs, getting fed up with the both of them.

You couldn’t stop laughing at the whole debacle, playing with your boyfriend’s hands between your legs. The whole day went pretty well, you had a blast with Jake and Sunoo at the mall and now you’re reunited with them again and your boyfriend. The only real problem was your home life, but you had an escape so it wasn’t all too bad.

“Do you have any snacks Jake?” You ask, looking over at his kitchen to scan the area.

“Duh! I got chips, pretzels, ice cream, frozen pizzas, dino nuggets, really anything you could think of honestly. We kinda overdid it at Target..” He says, looking over at a guilty Sunoo.

“Hey, it’s better to be overstocked and than under!” Sunoo did make a great point.

You slowly get up from Heeseung’s lap and walk into the kitchen to get some ice cream. Luckily, Sunoo remembered to get your favorite flavor while they were out. You got a giant bowl and scooped piles of ice cream on top, putting chocolate syrup and rainbow sprinkles to finish it off.

“For me? Thanks!” Heeseung reaches his hand out in attempt to snatch the bowl from your hand but you weren’t letting off that easy.

“Not so fast- get your own loser!” Swiping the bowl away and flashing him an evil glare. You did not mess around when it comes to your favorite ice cream.

Sitting back down on the couch again, you finish watching the movie with them.

“Should I get raccoon highlights in my hair y/n? I been thinking about it for a while but I dunno if it’ll suit me,” Sunoo asks next to you.

You nod your head in agreement, “Hell yeah, do it! But you could rock any hairstyle Sunny.”

“Awe, thanks my dear!” He chirps, making a heart with his hands.

“I look good too, right y/n?” Jake chimes in, he’s always wanting to be the center of attention.

“Don’t answer him.” Heeseung butts in the conversation, giving Jake the side eye.

“Oh but it’s okay for her to compliment Sunoo and not me?!” He raises an eyebrow of confusion.

Heeseung shrugs, “That’s because Sunoo is gay, he poses no threat to me.”

“Yeah but he does for me, do you see the way he looks at you sometimes?!” You jokingly reply.

“I’m not gonna steal your girl bro. Besides she’s literally conjoined to you by the hip, I wouldn’t be surprised if both your hearts beat in unison!” You couldn’t stop laughing at Jake’s comments, he could sound so bitter at times.

“They do. We’re the same person actually,” Heeseung leans in to give you a kiss on the cheek. “You’re my little twin, isn’t that right babe?”

“Only if I get to be the evil one!” You combat, giggling at him tickling your tummy.

“Deal.”

“Ugh, I hate ya’ll. Making me feel like a third wheel in my own damn house..” Jake expresses with disgust over the way you’re both all over each other.

“Then get your own fucking girlfriend and stop looking at mine,” Heeseung was now nibbling on your neck, holding you tightly in his embrace.

You were a giggly mess, you made you feel so high when you were with him.

“Or you can get your own room and go fuck there instead of making us suffer watching you both act like sluts!”

Heeseung pauses to think about it for a bit. “Huh, that actually doesn’t sound like too bad of an idea. C’mon babe, let’s go!” He lightly taps your thigh, signaling for you to get up.

“And the only slut in this house is your mom for not swallowing you,” Heeseung claps back one last time before you both dip.

Sunoo burst out laughing hearing that, almost snorting. Jake was pissed but Heeseung ran out the door before he could even get to him.

“You’re a dead man when I see you again!” Jake yells through the door.

“Yeah sure, you’ll forget in 2 seconds from all the weed frying your brain!”

Getting in the car now, he starts driving but you have no idea where he’s even going.

“I hope you were only joking with him because that was a bit much, don’t you think?” Asking him in a way that wouldn’t come off too blunt.

“Are you serious? I’ve known Jake forever, we just joke like that. Besides, he was taking it a bit too far when he was fishing for compliments from my girl.”

You chuckle, of course he would still be stuck on that. He was pretty possessive over you, he would only be okay with you talking that way with Sunoo but all his other friends were off limits. “Ooh, I think someone’s feeling a little jelly!” You tease, poking his face with your index finger.

“Yeah and so what if I am? You gonna sue me? Come and arrest me? Honestly speaking, you’d look really hot in a sexy cop outfit.” He gushes, sneaking glances over at you while driving.

“Is that some weird fantasy of yours? I come in your room one day and handcuff you to the bed?” You couldn’t even say that with a straight face.

“Now that you mention it, I might actually do.. Can we try that one day?”

“Sure, whatever your little heart desires.”

++

Heeseung parks into an empty lot and stops the car. You can see an old abandoned train station in front of you, the windows were shattered, graffiti plastered all over with overgrown moss on the exterior. It looked like something straight out of a horror movie which seemed to fit the theme of the night.

“How come I’ve never seen this place before?” You ask, stunned by it’s ominous beauty.

“I just discovered it recently while driving aimlessly around town, I figured out a way to get onto the roof, the view’s fucking insane!” He grabs your hand and leads the way inside.

Thankfully he had a flashlight on him so it was easier to navigate through the dark halls. The barren walls were covered in more graffiti, as was the ceiling which kind of freaked you out. There was a creepy porcelain doll sitting in the corner of one area, half of it’s face was broken which was giving you nightmare fuel. You tensely clung onto your boyfriend’s arm for support, closing your eyes so you don’t have to look at anymore creepy things in this place.

“Are we almost there Hee?” You whine, trying to gain your composure but you just want to get the hell out of here.

“Chillax babe, you’ll be fine. No one’s gonna get you, they’ll have to get through me first!” He reassures, squeezing your hand to comfort you.

Heeseung finds his way through the maze and you walk up a few flights of stairs to eventually reach the top of the roof.

“Mission complete!” Heeseung announces loudly, “you can open your eyes now love.”

Your eyes flutter open and adjust to what you’re seeing. You could see almost the entire city from the top, you didn’t realize how high up you were. Your fear of heights were now starting to kick in so you cling back onto his arm like a magnet. Heeseung starts walking towards a certain spot on the roof, “Come with me, I wanna show you something.”

You follow him while holding hands, he walks over to an area and points at one of the brick tiles. You end up spotting both you and Heeseung’s initials + forever carved into the brick with a heart around it, a Polaroid photo of you two kissing was also attached next to it. You couldn’t help but tear up at the sight, it was such a simple yet cute gesture.

“Soo, what do you think?” He was starting to get a bit nervous, hoping you’d appreciate it as much as he enjoyed doing it.

“I-I think it’s adorable. I love it so much, you’re the cutest ever!” You jump into his arms and he wraps you into a tight hug.

“I’m glad you like it. I thought it was kinda corny at first but when you think about it.. it’s only corny if you make it out it to be.”

You loved the thought he put into just about anything. It amazed you how you found such a great guy in your life, but having to sneak around and date him was the worst.

“I love you so much Hee.”

“I love you too sweetheart,” He pauses as if to stop himself but continues, “too bad your parents hated my guts before I could even get the chance to speak.”

“Fuck my parents, I don’t care about their opinions. The only one that matters is mine and yours.”

He shakes his head, “Actually no, don’t fuck your parents, fuck me instead!”

“Oh, eww you know what I meant!” You frown, playfully hitting his arm.

You look up to see a sky full of stars, the distant twinkling mesmerizing you from faraway.

“So, I got asked to perform at this festival coming up.” Heeseung protrudes your thoughts.

Your face lit up at that exciting news, “Oh really? That’s exciting, I’m so happy for you! Where is it?”

He goes quiet for a minute, “10 hours away from here and they want me to perform on both days…”

“I mean, I understand that you’ll be away from me but isn’t this your dream?” You want to be happy for him but deep down you’re feeling depressed.

“It is… but I don’t like not having you with me. It’s like my brain can’t function without you. I wish you could come along..”

“I know, I wish I could too but there’s no way in hell that’s possible.” Your head hung low as you expressed your apprehensions. You’d give anything to travel with your boyfriend to his shows, but you know your parents would never let that happen.

“Why not? I’m tired of doing this shit with you, we’re grown adults but I still have to go sneaking around just to see my damn girlfriend, do you know how exhausting that is? How much of a toll it’s been taking on me? I don’t wanna keep living like this anymore y/n.” Heeseung let’s it all out, this is what he’s been bottling up inside.

“Are you seriously trying to pit all the blame on me? You know I never wanted this to happen! I would give absolutely anything to make my parents like you, that’s just the way they are I can’t change it! I wish you’d stop guilt tripping me into thinking I’m always in the wrong!” You attempt to walk away from him but he pulls you in again. He saw you tearing up now, feeling responsible for his actions he wipes them away and does his best to undo the damage he’s already caused.

“No no, don’t cry please. Y/n stop crying, I didn’t mean to say it harshly like that. Please— I just don’t like seeing you like this.” His consoling words only do so much to mitigate the situation.

It wasn’t working enough for you, you continued sobbing loudly in his shoulder. He tried getting you to calm down but nothing was seeming to suffice. He couldn’t help but tear up too, he really felt like the world’s worst boyfriend right now. He keeps telling you he didn’t mean it and that he was sorry, apologizing over and over sounding like a broken record.

“All I want is to make you happy. Please, baby just tell me what to do and I’ll do it. I’ll do anything! I’ll jump off this goddamn building if you told me, if that’s what I need to prove how much I love you, I’ll do it.”

He was dead serious when he meant that. He was so lovestruck by you that anything was reasonable in his eyes. As long as it meant that you were happy in the end he saw no wrong with the outcome.

“Don’t say things like that, I don’t want you sacrificing yourself for me. I just wish you could see how difficult this situation is for me too.” You finally spoke.

“I know, I never doubted your struggles babe, I’m sorry if it seemed like I was dismissing them. I just really want you to do this one thing for me, I’m not asking much… please. I won’t take it if I can’t have my #1 fan there to cheer me on.”

You crack a tiny smile as you sniffle and wipe your tear stained face. He was always going to pick you first over anything, even his own career.

“You better be so fucking lucky my eyeliner is waterproof, you would’ve been dead meat if it got smudged!” You joke, letting him pull you back into his chest once again.

“It’s not like I’ve never made it smudge in other ways.” He replies, kissing the rest of your fallen tears away.

The mood shifts back to normal. He holds you close to him, hearing the rapid sounds of his heart pacing. It was soothing to you, giving you a sense of tranquility.

“The moon looks so beautiful today.” You quietly say, looking in awe while tracing the shapes of his tattoos on his arm.

“Yeah the moonlight looks nice, we should have sex under it.”

You spring your head up to face him with a questionable look, “Oh my god, you’re such a horndog. Only thinking with your dick!”

“When am I ever not horny?” He lightly chuckles, “but come on, let’s do it! I’m so boreddd.”

His attention span never lasted for too long, always needing to keep himself busy. Partially one of the reasons why you had sex a lot.

You gave in to his desires quickly, letting his hands explore your upper body. He slowly marks trails of kisses down your chin and neck, feeling his lip ring graze over the sensitive skin. His mouth parts open to reveal his flashy tongue piercing again, gliding it over you as you sharply inhale. The sensation was making your brain short-circuit, feeling a second pulse between your thighs.

“Mmh… feels so good Hee.” You whimper, shutting your eyes completely.

Those sneaky hands of his wander lower, coming in contact with your love handles to gently caress them. You gasp once you feel a light squeeze against your ass, grabbing as much as he can fit in his hands. It felt too ticklish when he slid his tongue up, making you squirm a bit. He works his way up to your chin again and plants a soft kiss to your lips. Standing on your tippy toes to slightly lean more into him, he latches onto you tighter.

Your foreheads were glued to each others but that still wasn’t enough, if you could get any closer you would. You had your arms locked around his neck, moving your lips with the motion of his. The kiss grew more desperate with time, playing with the metal bar once he slipped his tongue inside. You rake your hands through his fluffy hair, getting a handful of it, tugging it just slightly enough to solicit a moan from him. He goes bonkers whenever you pull his hair, it was a huge turn on for him.

“Do you want me to take the lead or you?” He asks politely, pulling away slowly before continuing any further.

You both liked to alternate between who’s in control during sex, it was fun having a boyfriend that didn’t mind being submissive at times.

“Why don’t we both take turns?” You reply, your eyes lustfully scanning him.

Something must’ve came over you because once he bit down on his lip you went feral, pushing him up against the door entrance and pinning his body with your weight. He swallows a massive lump in his throat, staring at you with the utmost adoration.

“So hot…” your boyfriend mumbles. Ready for whatever you had in store for him.

Thank God it was the dead of night and no one was around to be seeing or hearing what was about to go down. You’ve fucked in some strange places before, the movie theater, playground, a cemetery, and now on a roof of an abandoned train station. They may not have been the most romantic places of choice but all of them held a sentimental memory in their own ways.

Your lips crash with his again, kissing roughly while running your fingers along the lines of his shoulders. He cups your face in his palms, deepening the kiss to embrace every part of you. You explored a little lower, finding yourself playing with the hem of his shirt, lightly tugging on it to signal him to take it off. He obeys your wordless command, pulling it up over his head and tossing it to the ground next to him. You’ve seen him shirtless countless times but you still never get used to how sexy he is. Trailing your fingers across his chest, tracing the contour of his toned abs and pecs. The more you touch him the wetter you got.

“Need you so bad baby…” He mutters under his breath, looking at you with glossy eyes.

“Don’t worry Hee, I’ll please you soon.”

You place small pecks to his chest, kissing each every spot. You go down a bit lower to his v-line, admiring how beautiful it is; placing another delicate kiss. You glide your tongue on his skin, tracing the deep lines as you go. Now coming face to face with his crotch, you undo the studded belt he was wearing. He quickly unzips his pants, not wanting to waste anymore time to reveal the massive boner he’s been hiding. His cock was ginormous, way above average. You were rightfully terrified of it at first but as you got more used to it you adjust to his size perfectly now after being together for so long.

Your lashes flutter as you drag your lips to his tip, giving a few kitten licks to start off. Heeseung feels his breath hitch as he creates a makeshift ponytail with your hair, making sure to get a clear view of your face. You form more saliva in your mouth and spit directly onto him, coating it with your hand.

“Mmm… love when you make it all messy for me.” He groans while licking his lips.

You smile softly as you look up at him, giving a few pumps to his cock before wrapping your mouth around him. You couldn’t fit most his length in your tiny mouth so you had to improvise. Taking half of him while your other hand strokes the rest. You slowly bob your head, rotating sideways while collecting more saliva to create an even bigger mess.

“C’monnn, you can fit more than that I’ve seen what you can do before babe.” He begs, grabbing onto your hair tighter.

You can’t stand when he bosses you around when you’re supposed to be the one in charge. You detach yourself from his cock and look up to see his whiny reaction.

“What the fuck baby, why’d you stop? Keep going… pleaseee.” He pleads, bucking his hips into the air.

“Not until you shut the fuck up and let me do what I wanna do!”

He gets his act together quickly and stops whining. “Okay.. I’ll be quiet from now on, promise.”

Going back to what you were previously doing, you bring his cock to your face once again. Pressing his tip against your bottom lip, you flick your wet tongue over the slit. Taking slow, deep breathes Heeseung swallows an inconvenient lump in his throat the more you prolong it. You know he wants you to just suck him off already but that’s not what you’re going to do just yet.

You wrap your hand around his shaft, giving it a couple light strokes. You feel his veiny cock pulsating and throbbing in your small hand, making it twitch with each tug you give. You accumulate more saliva from your mouth to spit on his cock some more, rubbing it in to make it wet as possible. It was so slippery your hands kept loosing it out of your grasp, you gripped onto it tighter and accidentally squeezed his shaft bit.

The action makes Heeseung jump up a little and he rocked his hips forward, you look up to gauge his reaction.

“Sorry about that.”

He looks at you with confusion. “What’re you being sorry for? That felt kinda nice actually…”

You were surprised to hear that but you decide to do it again since he seemed to enjoy it. He winces from the light pressure but it doesn’t bother him. Guess you just found out another weird sex kink he has. You continue stroking his cock and he pants heavily for you to do more but you just act like you can’t hear him. Instead you keep stroking him and play with his scrotum in your free hand. He mumbles some gibberish under his breath and you build a steady rhythm, making him whine for more.

“I-if you’re not going to— ahh!” Heeseung could barely get a word out from you making his cock overly sensitive. “If you aren’t gonna suck my cock then let me fuck you already.”

You look up to see a flustered Heeseung, he looked so cute you just wanted to eat him. You let his torture finally come to an end as you get up from being on the ground, coming face to face with your lover once again.

“Hi pretty girl.” He says, intertwining his fingers with yours.

“Hey cutie pie.” You grin, meeting your lips with his again for a quick kiss.

“Take your pants off, pretty please!” Heeseung asks nicely while giving the most precious pout.

You can never say no to that face so you fumble with your ripped jeans to pull them off. He presses your back up against the door this time, having your legs wrapped around his waist for support.

“Gonna fuck you ‘til I have you screaming on this roof begging me not to stop.” He whispers against your ear. His dominance swings back into full force, making you want him even more.

He licks his lips at you, giving a sinful smile. His hands slide under your shirt to toy with your nipples. You let out a sigh as he rubs in gentle circles, hardening them within seconds. He pinches the sensitive bud to make you moan louder for him.

“Want you to make as much noise as you can, okay?” He asks.

Simply nodding your head, you swing your head to the side in pleasure.

He drags his finger along your inner thigh, playing with the fabric of your underwear. You relax into him, letting him take a peek inside to see feel how wet you are. You inhale carefully, watching down as you see him sink two of his digits into your aching core. Your muscles tense up and you feel eyes roll to the back of your head now. All that can be heard are faint slews of moans and the sounds of your wetness while he pumps into you. He kisses you again while pressing his fingers in your cunt faster, making you moan directly into his mouth.

He brings his thumb to your clit and rubs harsh circles, making your bud more puffy and swollen. You mess up his hair and grab onto him tighter. Once he pulls his fingers out, he brings them up to your lips making you suck the juices clean off. You look him in the eyes while doing it, sending a primal spirit within him.

“Can’t wait to fill up that pretty little cunt of yours.” He mutters against your neck, hands aligning with yours to bring you closer while he slides himself in between your sticky folds.

You cry out for him, wanting nothing more than to let him fill you up. You feel so empty as you clench around nothing, begging for him to fuck you already.

“Yes, please baby! Want you to fill me up, need your cock so bad please!” Whining to gain sympathy from him.

He’s not playing your little game though, not after how you tortured him earlier. “How bad you want it?” He groans, his cock still rubbing along your slit.

“So bad! I want you so bad please, I’ll do anything!”

“Anything you say?” He questions while raising his eyebrow.

You nod profusely, “Yes, anything I mean it!”

“Then promise you’ll stay with me forever. You can never break up with me, you’re stuck with me until we die, got it?”

“I promise I’ll never leave you Heeseung, I wouldn’t even dream of doing something like that.”

He smiles and kisses your cheek, “Good” was all he had to simply say.

Repositioning himself to enter you now, he wraps his hands firmly around your waist, sliding into you with ease. He stays with his cock inside you for a bit, relishing the feeling of you around him. Nothing but sweet ecstasy fills your senses when he thrusts into you, feeling so full all you can do is scream. The immense waves of pleasure emitting chills up your spine as he fucks senselessly into you.

“Fuck, you look so good beneath me.” He growls, digging his nails into the depths of your hips.

“Yes! Yes! Right there baby, just like that. Keep going..” You moan out, feeling close to your orgasm already the more he hits your erogenous spots.

His pierced tongue travels down your neck again, sucking and biting on the flesh harshly. You know those will definitely be leaving visible bruises once he’s done with you. You hold onto him tightly, crying out while drooling all over yourself as he quickens his pace.

“Need you to do as I say,” he pants against your neck, slamming his cock into your walls hungrily. “Want you to cum on my cock when I tell you to.”

It was impossible for you to even respond. Anything you said didn’t even sound remotely coherent. His mind was going blank too, the way your tight cunt won’t stop cinching around him was making it harder for him to move.

“Love how I can fuck this pussy as many times as I want and you’re still always so tight for me.” His cock was going into you mercilessly, fucking you so good you feel like you’re going to faint.

Your limbs grew weak and that deep pit in your stomach builds up, feeling your climax approaching by the minute.

“Fuck- fuck- fuck, please don’t stop!” You wail, begging for more as you let him do all work.

Your arousal was everywhere at this point, your shaky legs were dripping with your juices and the sounds of him pounding into you was harmonic to his ears. All Heeseung could focus on was making the both of you cum together. He loved it when you both came at the same time, it makes the moment more special to him.

“Cum with me baby, please.” He groans, sounding drunk off the way you feel, “just wanna fill this pussy up over and over…”

You brace yourself against him, “I’ll cum with you, promise. Just fill me up— need your cum so badly Hee, please!” You can’t stop whining, digging your nails into his back harshly.

The feeling was all so intense, seeing stars from being so cockstuffed. You didn’t even have a single moment to blink before your vision fades entirely to black. You let your orgasm erupt through you as you throw your head back. His thrusts become more erratic as he reaches his high, moaning out a bunch of curses along with your name.

“Y/n, please never leave me..” he says while in the middle of cumming inside you, “I love you so much, my angel forever.”

Even during something this intimate, he still never shies away from telling you how much you mean to him.

“I will never leave you, that’s a promise. I love you more.” Both your hands intertwine with one another, the love you have for each other is unbreakable.

You felt so warm inside, having Heeseung empty all his seed in you. Looking up at him to give him another passionate kiss before he pulls out.

You were struggling to put your clothes back on as you could barely stand up properly. Your wobbly legs would go into a different direction than you wanted. Heeseung helped stabilize you by wrapping his arms around you, pulling you in a half hug.

“How ‘bout we finally get out of here?” He asks, reaching for the door handle to head back downstairs.

“I kind of forgot we were still here actually.”

“Yeah, me too. C’mon let’s hurry and get to the car, I still haven’t tried this tongue piercing on you yet!” Heeseung says excitedly.

Giggling at his enthusiasm you walk back with him into the train station. You wanted to check the time on your phone but of course it was dead. It was way past a decent time for you to try sneaking back in so you don’t even bother going back home that night. Instead, you opt to stay over at Heeseung’s place, not really caring if you’re parents will be pissed tomorrow. This is your life after all, why let others stop you from enjoying it to the fullest?

[lizardsfromspace]

Feels like a whole middle stage of consolidation in modern capitalism is being gradually forgotten. We've simplified things to "we had retail, then we had online monopolies" and left out the part - except for Wal-Mart - where big box chains took over retail

So much of nostalgia for brick-and-mortar revolves around those big chains; Toys 'R' Us and Barnes & Noble and Blockbuster Video etc. But those were the Amazons of their day: the force that drove smaller, indie stores out of business by sheer volume. Toys 'R' Us closing can't be an existential threat to the toy store itself if it hadn't first caused all the local toy stores to close.

Blockbuster gets the worst of it bc I guarantee many of the people nostalgic for Blockbuster now would've hated it then, and yet it's become synonymous with video rental itself. To have nostalgia for video rental is to have nostalgia for Blockbuster...the corporate monopoly that drove all the fun mom-and-pop video shops out of business, and replaced them with a space whose main promise was that they'd have a hundred copies of each and every major studio film, that seeing the latest mediocre action flick would always be possible. Did you know Blockbuster censored content? Not just in the indirect way where they killed off the nascent NC-17 rating by refusing to stock NC-17 & unrated films, but they would demand cuts to content within films. Blockbuster would also just refuse to stock films, like The Last Temptation of Christ, and if you lived somewhere where Blockbuster had pushed out all competition...well, then you just didn't get to see it.

But if you were a 90s kid you probably don't have any memory of indie video stores, and you probably weren't aware of the controversy of how they treated films for adults (hell, I doubt the blockbuster-loving non-cinephile adults in my life were aware of it), so Blockbuster is the video store, just like how Toys 'R' Us is the toy store. Heck, I remember going to game stores that weren't Gamestop & being disappointed when all of them turned into Gamestops or closed, and yet I know the generation after me has only ever known a world of Gamestop and whenever the walking corpse that is Gamestop shambles into its final grave they'll be just as nostalgic for it

(the censorship makes it even funnier when people laud how Blockbuster had a "wide selection" and that video rental stores were better than streaming and we should go back. Like I'm sorry Netflix sucks but the idea that it would be Good to ditch an era where you're just a few clicks away from watching any film ever bc it's *worse* in terms of accessibility and we were truly free when we had to choose from a video rental monopoly that had a single shelf for "Foreign" & a single shelf for "Classics" & that had the capability to make films they disapproved of unavailable entirely is bonkers. I can watch thousands of movies on a whim and they're putting out boutique Blu-Rays of the most obscure 80s slashers, this is a golden age of media accessibility & anyone insisting it's worse is plain nuts. Okay it's only a golden age if you have a good adblocker and VPN, but)

[karikarasuno]

part one

law is handy. well, he's good with his hands. he's a surgeon after all. so when he sees you struggling to push a box that's nearly twice the size of you into your home, he's out of his car in seconds.

sure his arms are sore from working all day and he feels the beginnings of a headache prick at his temple. but he can't help himself when he sees the box you've managed to wrestle upright almost topple over and onto you.

"fuck," you whisper yell, but it's loud enough for him to hear as he quickly approaches you. his hands somehow wrap around yours where they grip the cardboard. the sudden contact startles you and you yelp, jumping back in fear.

"shit, sorry," he's apologizing immediately, pulling the large box away from you and towards himself. "you looked like you needed some help."

"oh so you came rushing over to rescue me?" you smile when you realize it's just him and not someone attempting to rob you.

"i guess you could say that," he chuckles, shifting the box that was clearly too heavy for you to carry alone to one side so he could see you. "do you want me to bring this in for you?"

he watches your cheeks form a pretty blush which satisfies him in a way he doesn't really understand.

"that would be nice actually," you say, your eyes sliding from his hands up his arms. he appreciates the attention even though he won't admit it aloud. "you're probably stronger than me anyway."

"yeah, probably," he laughs through his nose, hiking the box a few inches from the floor as he follows you inside. he didn't think his offer through first, though. because stepping into your home is like stepping into another world entirely.

his house his clean. organized. marie kondo'ed to a tee. and that's not saying that yours is a mess. it's just cluttered. every place has a thing but every thing has a place. its the definition of organized chaos. yet it feels lived in. and comfortable. and nostalgic almost.

and the smell. it’s smokey like bourbon, but with a hint of something sweet. vanilla. oddly enough, it reminds him of his brother. now he’s craving a hug. how weird.

“you can just set it there,” he hears you say, pointing to an empty space in your bedroom. chopper comes bounding out, friendly and excited. you had to hold him back by his collar so law had enough space to put the large box down.

“thanks,” you say as law straightens, “it probably would’ve taken me twice as long to lug that in.”

“it was no problem,” he says wiping his hands on his scrubs, and trying not to cringe once he remembers he’s still in his work clothes.

“yeah yeah yeah you’re big and strong, I get it,” you wave your hands around. he blushes. hard. “but you don’t gotta rub it in.”

he drags a hand down his face to settle the burn in his cheeks.

“you know, i can build it for you too," he offers, realizing that if it was too heavy for you to carry, it might be a struggle for you to build.

"no, its fine," you dismiss him, gesturing for him to follow you out the bedroom. "if you keep being nice to me i'll eventually fall in love with you."

you say it so casually. so flippantly. and he knows you're just kidding, but it still sits in his chest in an uncomfortably full way. but he laughs to cover it up.

"alright then," he says walking towards your still open front door, "the offer still stands if you ever need it."

****

cora is over. he's decided he needs to use law's grill. not that law really uses it. but he conceded to cora's request, because he promised to cook dinner. and law is very much tired of eating grilled chicken and rice since it's the only thing he has time to make these days.

"i have steak, veggies, and a tray of shish kebabs i found at the store that looked interesting so i bought them," cora says, organizing the food on an aluminum platter to take out to the lanai.

he forgets the tongs, so law grabs those from his utensil holder before following cora outside. he's just excited to get a home cooked meal to be honest.

but what causes him to pause-- to stop fully in his tracks-- is the sight of you, downward dog on a yoga mat in your backyard. directly in his line of sight. he's not sure when you took up yoga or when you started doing it outside, but he can't help but stare.

"hey," cora snaps in front of law's face, "gimme this." he steals the tongs from law's loose grip.

you've now moved into child's pose, chopper slumbering peacefully beside you. he has to force his eyes away from you, regardless of how flexible you appear to be.

“who’s that?” cora asks, fiddling with the grill to turn it on.

“just my neighbor,” law says, trying his hardest to maintain nonchalance. but you make it harder for him when he looks up again and finds you standing beside your mat and stretching your arms out over your head.

you’re in a sports bra and shorts. and that’s it.

“right so i gathered that much,” cora responds, clicking the tongs together, “but what i meant was do you know her?”

“as my neighbor, yes,” law says like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. cora rolls his eyes and directs his attention back to the grill.

and maybe, in an ideal world, cora would’ve left it at that, but that’s before he sees you approaching. chopper is running enthusiastically in front of you, tongue hanging outside his mouth as he runs straight up to the screen.

“chopper, down!” you scold as he places his front paws on the door.

“i’m sorry,” you continue, grabbing chopper by the collar and tugging him down, “we’re currently working on his over friendliness.”

“it’s ok,” law says, glancing over at cora who’s staring at the interaction with a little too much interest for law’s comfort.

“hi,” you greet cora, saying your name and smiling politely.

“cora,” he replies. “this guy’s older brother.”

he tilts his head towards law, busying himself once more with the grill. and law’s pretty sure it’s not even on yet.

“Y’know,” law starts as he approaches you, “you apologize to me quite often and you really don’t have to.”

“ugh, I can’t help it,” you complain, exasperated but your lips are stretched with a coy grin. “it’s a bad habit i picked up because of my dumb ex.”

law’s surprised. he wasn’t expecting you to be so open or forthcoming. so casual about your life as if you don’t mind sharing it with him. a stranger.

“anyway, i’ll work on it,” you chuckle, letting go of chopper’s collar now that he’s calmed down again. but now that your hand is free your cross it over your body to hold onto the yoga mat that’s propped on your opposite hip. he knows you don’t do it on purpose, but the gesture presses your breasts together in a way that accidentally draws his attention.

his neck grows hot.

“speaking of, did you ever get around to building that…” he trails off when he realizes he has no idea what was inside the box.

“oh! my dresser.” you shake your head. “turns out you need tools like a drill and not just the flimsy screwdriver I have in my junk drawer.”

“i could have told you that.” he finds you endearing. which is a problem because he knows he’s starting to like you. as more than just a neighbor.

he can also feel cora’s gaze burning holes into his back. nosey son of a bitch.

“yeah well, i’m working up the courage to go to the hardware store to buy one. the men in there are just always so fucking pushy, i hate dealing with them.”

“i have a drill,” he says plainly, trying not to show his annoyance about how offhandedly you refer to the weirdos that seem to lurk in every aisle of that place. like this is just a normal occurrence for you.

“can i borrow it? that would actually save me so much time and sanity.” your eyes light up, hopeful.

“i think it would be easier if i just did it,” he offers again. it’s obvious to him and maybe to you, but most definitely to cora, that this is law’s attempt at trying to spend more time with you.

“i’m starting to think you don’t trust me,” your eyes narrow playfully, and you purse your lips at him skeptically. “and after all we’ve been through.”

you pout. feigning hurt, but your eyes are alight with something else entirely. law’s stomach flips.

“it’s an expensive drill,” he shrugs, stuffing his hands into his pant pockets, silently praying that he looks unaffected by your antics; that are absolutely working on him.

“fine, when then? i’m free tomorrow evening.”

“that works for me.”

the smile you give him is sly. knowing. and completely disarming to him.

“perfect, it’ll give me enough time to think of how I’ll return the favor.”

before he can contest to let you know that you don’t have to return anything to him, your back is facing him and chopper is following happily behind you.

he watches you leave. mostly dazed from speaking with you. and enjoying it more than he probably should have.

but his bubble bursts when cora says, “hm, next time just invite her over for dinner. maybe that’ll make it less obvious that you’re trying to get in her pants.”

[itendtothinkalot]

just navigating

summary: soobin’s always thought of you as his little sister. but now, things are starting to feel… different. with soobin off studying to become a pilot, the distance only makes things more confusing.

genre: fluff!!! slight angst, not too bad

characters: childhood bestfriend!soobin x f!reader

words: 12.5k

warnings: implied sex but no smut

a/n: kinda based on caleb from lnds bec im obsessed LMFAO ;-;

“Guess who?”

Your vision darkened as two hands gently covered your eyes. The warmth of familiar fingers sent a nostalgic tingle down your spine, and you immediately recognized the tiny calluses on them.

A small smile tugged at your lips. “Judging by the lack of moisture in your hands, I’d say it’s a loser.”

A dramatic gasp came from behind you. “Boo, you're no fun.” Soobin removed his hands with an exaggerated sigh before nudging you with his shoulder. “Y’know, I’d assume you’d be happier to see me.” He spun you around so you were facing him, his eyes twinkling with mischief.

You hated to admit it, but he looked good—better than when you last saw him. His hair was slightly longer, brushing just above his brows, but still neatly styled like the perfectionist he was. He wore his pilot uniform with effortless confidence—the crisp navy-blue jacket adorned with insignia, gold stripes neatly embroidered on the cuffs, and a pressed white shirt underneath. The matching trousers completed the look, making him appear every bit the disciplined and ambitious aviator he had always dreamed of becoming.

“And why would I be?” You crossed your arms, looking up at your childhood friend, who stood nearly two heads taller than you.

Soobin placed a hand over his heart in mock offense. “Wow. So cold. Let’s see… The last time we saw each other was a month ago, before your exams. That means the stress is over. You probably missed your favorite person on Earth—me—and now here I am, gracing you with my presence.” He grinned, his voice dripping with playful sarcasm. “So, I don’t see why you’re not grinning like the peach that you are.”

You rolled your eyes, but a smile was already creeping onto your face. “You’re insufferable.”

“Ah, there it is! A smile!” He pointed at you triumphantly. “See? You did miss me.”

You groaned, lightly shoving his shoulder. “Don’t flatter yourself.”

He chuckled, slinging an arm over your shoulder like old times. “Too late, Kiddo.”

“You’ve got to stop calling me that.” You brushed his arm off your shoulder before narrowing your eyes at him. “Also, why the hell are you here? In your uniform, no less… You’re attracting way too much attention.”

Your gaze flickered around, noticing your schoolmates whispering, gasping, and outright staring. Some pointed in disbelief, eyes wide as they took in the sight of your unfortunately handsome best friend—now made even more infuriatingly attractive in his full pilot uniform.

“I didn’t have time to change if I wanted to pick you up,” he said casually.

“You didn’t have to pick me up.”

“Oh? And who’s gonna drive you home then?”

“I’ve been taking the bus since you left.”

“Don’t say it like I abandoned you.”

You wanted to say but you did, but you swallowed the words instead.

“Alright,” he sighed, nodding. “Fine. Next time, I’ll wear a tank top and jeans when I pick you up. How about that?”

—

On the way back, you couldn’t help but steal glances at him. How was work? How was his training? How was—well, how was everything? But somehow, you couldn’t bring yourself to ask any of those questions. Still, Soobin knew you well enough.

“I’m okay,” he said, as if reading your thoughts. “I’ll always be okay.” He grinned, his eyes curling into full crescents.

You nodded. “Good. I don’t need the only person in my life to—”

“I won’t.” He ruffled your hair. “C’mon. I’m me. Do you really think something’s gonna—”

“Don’t.” You glared at him.

Soobin, with his towering height, sharp vision, and unshakable determination, had always dreamed of becoming a pilot. Ever since you were kids, he had talked about flying—how he wanted to touch the clouds, how the sky felt like the only place vast enough to hold his ambitions. You had always supported him, picturing him in a crisp commercial pilot’s uniform, announcing flight routes in his deep, steady voice.

But that wasn’t enough for him. He didn’t just want to fly; he wanted to soar. Instead of charting safe routes in passenger planes, he had set his sights on something more dangerous, more demanding. He had signed up to be a fighter pilot—a career that meant grueling training, high-stakes missions, and a future teetering between triumph and risk.

You had argued with him about it before, pleaded with him to reconsider. But Soobin, stubborn as ever, had only grinned and said, “If I’m going to fly, I might as well reach for the impossible, right?” 

“Soobin,” You attempted to argue but you knew him better than anyone else. He was just as stubborn as he was perfect. 

“I’m gonna be fine and I’m always gonna be beside you. I promise.”

And here he was, right beside you. Just like he promised.

—

The two of you sat at the dinner table, your legs swinging back and forth, occasionally bumping against Soobin’s calves.

“I like what you’ve done with the apartment,” Soobin remarked, glancing around.

“Nothing’s changed.”

“I beg to differ.” He shoved a piece of chicken into his mouth before standing up, making his way toward a single flower sitting in a makeshift vase. He tilted his head, inspecting it with amusement. “And hey, you even buy flowers now.”

“I didn’t get them,” you replied, shrugging. “You know me and flowers… I say it’ll be dead in a few days.”

“Three, max.” He chuckled before giving the flower another once-over, noticing a small tag tied on the stalk of the rose. “Beomgyu?” He turned back to you, raising a brow. “Who’s that?”

“A classmate,” you said casually. “He gave me those flowers for Valentine’s. It’s nothing, really.”

“A boy?” He muttered, his expression shifting as he sauntered over to you. “Kiddo’s all grown up.”

“He’s just a classmate, Soobin.”

You knew better than to admit that Beomgyu had actually shown interest in you. The last time Soobin found out someone had potential feelings for you, the poor boy had shown up to school looking visibly distressed—and nearly teared up every time you so much as glanced at him.

“He gave them to everyone then?” Soobin pressed.

You stayed silent.

"Oh," he smirked, his voice dripping with amusement. "So Kiddo’s got an admirer."

"It’s not like that," you tried to explain, shaking your head. "We just worked together on an assignment, and we did really well. He’s a good guy."

"A good guy," Soobin repeated, nodding slowly. "Not your favorite though, right?"

You laughed, tilting your head at him. "Are you jealous?"

He sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. "Kinda, yeah. I’m worried someone’s gonna take my place."

You hadn’t expected him to be so blunt. Rolling your eyes, you kicked his ankle under the table. He groaned, grabbing his leg dramatically.

"As if anyone could replace you," you scoffed. "Look… you’ve been gone for a month, we barely see each other—maybe two weeks total in an entire year—but I’m still wearing the necklace you got me. Every day. Just in case you actually remember me and decide to show up."

His playful demeanor shifted in an instant. His eyes darkened, lips pressing together as he took a step closer.

"Kiddo," he said, voice quieter now. "I do remember you."

"Sure you do."

His jaw clenched, and before you could react, he was moving—slow, deliberate steps closing the space between you.

"Do you think," his voice was low, almost dangerous, "that a single day goes by where I don’t think about you?"

Your breath hitched. The last time he was this serious was when you had accidentally shut off the electricity in the middle of his ranked game. But this was different.

Soobin stopped at the leg of your chair, leaning down until his face was mere inches from yours. His cologne—clean, crisp, a little like rain—filled your senses. His gaze flickered from your eyes to your lips, lingering there just long enough for your pulse to stutter.

"Because if you do," he murmured, his voice dropping lower, "you’d be lying to yourself."

"Wh-why so?" Your voice came out weaker than you intended.

He exhaled softly, his hand resting on the back of your chair, effectively trapping you between him and the table.

"You always say you know me better than anyone." His eyes never left yours. "So if you really do… then you’d know just how much this—" he motioned between the two of you, his fingers grazing your wrist "—means to me."

Your heart pounded.

"I think about you before I sleep. When I wake up. When I’m in class. Hell, even when I’m up in the sky."

You swallowed hard, your breath shaky. "That’s… a lot."

"And that’s only half of it." His voice had grown impossibly deep, sending a shiver down your spine.

Your fingers curled into your lap. The tension between you crackled, thick, suffocating. Your lips parted involuntarily, and for a second—just a second—you swore he was about to close the distance.

Then, suddenly, his smile returned, effortlessly lazy.

"But of course," he mused, pulling back just enough to make your chest tighten, "I do think of other things."

Just like that, the moment was gone. The breath you’d been holding escaped in a rush, your head spinning from the heat of it all.

Soobin, ever the tease, just grinned—like he hadn’t just turned your entire world upside down.

—

When you were nine, lost and alone for the first time, Soobin’s mother took you in. You were angry—at the world, at the circumstances that had ripped you away from everything familiar. And Soobin, a few years older, became the unfortunate target of your fury. You lashed out, pushed him away every time he tried to get close. You hated everything.

But Soobin never stopped trying.

At ten, something shifted. One morning, you woke up feeling just a little less angry. The walls you had built weren’t gone, but they had cracks. That day, for the first time, you ate the bowl of cereal Soobin had prepared for you. It was soggy by the time you finally touched it, but he didn’t care. His grin stretched wide, brighter than the morning sun, because it was the first thing you had accepted from him.

At eleven, you started lingering in his room. You never asked, never said a word, just sat there as he played video games or flipped through a book. He never questioned it. He’d toss you a controller, let you pick the next movie, slide half of his blanket over when the air got too cold.

By twelve, the two of you were inseparable. He was the older brother you never had, the one who understood your silences, who never pried but always stayed. The one who made a home feel a little less lonely.

“Soobin,” you called out, your voice barely above a whisper. The room was dark, shadows stretching across the walls as the faint glow of the streetlights seeped through the curtains. You had just woken up, your hair a tangled mess, your pink pajamas standing out starkly against the dimly lit space. But Soobin wasn’t there.

You rubbed the sleep from your eyes, shifting uncomfortably on your feet. “Soobin?” you tried again, a little louder this time.

“Kiddo.”

You jumped at the sudden voice behind you, your heart nearly leaping out of your chest. You turned to see him standing by the door, arms crossed, his expression amused. “What’re you doing up so late?”

You felt ridiculous admitting the truth—that the thunder had startled you, that the loud crashes outside had made the emptiness of the room feel unbearable.

“Nothing,” you muttered, hugging your pillow tighter.

Soobin tilted his head, unconvinced. “The thunder scare you?”

You stayed silent, refusing to confirm it, but he knew you too well.

With a small sigh, he walked over and patted the bed. “C’mon. Sleep here.”

Your eyes widened slightly. “What about you?”

He nodded toward the couch in the corner of his room. “I’ll sleep there. It’s fine.”

You hesitated, but the warmth of his presence was comforting. “Are you sure?”

Soobin smiled, the kind of smile that made you feel safe. “Just call my name if you need anything.”

At age 19, when Soobin told you he had been accepted into flight school, it felt like the ground beneath you shifted. You were happy for him, of course, proud even. But the truth was, a deep, overwhelming sense of devastation settled in your chest. Your rock—your anchor—was leaving. The one constant in your life, the person you could always count on, was being pulled away. 

He’d be gone for months at a time, and when he came back, it would only be for a few weekends. Maybe a week in total over the span of a year. It wasn’t enough. It would never be enough.

Tears welled up in your eyes as you turned away, not wanting to face him. Soobin, standing there in his oversized jacket, the duffel bag slung over his shoulder, looked more like a stranger than the best friend you’d grown up with. You couldn’t bear to watch him leave.

He tapped your shoulder gently, but you shrugged it off, determined to keep your composure. You didn’t want him to see how much it hurt, how much you would miss him.

“I’m fine,” you hiccuped, your voice cracking as you tried to stifle the sobs. But the tears kept coming, breaking through the facade you were desperately trying to maintain.

Soobin stepped closer, his hand resting gently on your back. “It’ll just be for a few months,” he said softly, his voice steady, though you could hear the weight of his own emotions beneath it. “I’ll come back to you the moment I can.”

But even then, it didn’t feel like enough.

—

There was something unnerving about people who could sleep through anything, even in the midst of a distressing situation. You watched as Soobin—always so unbothered, so calm—drifted off easily, his breathing steady and deep, while you lay wide awake, caught in your own thoughts.

Your relationship with Soobin had always been easy to define—older brother and younger sister. It was simple, comfortable, and familiar. But as the years passed, as you both grew older, the lines started to blur. You had friends with older brothers, but none of them had the same dynamic you shared with Soobin. Sure, Soobin wasn’t your biological brother, but he had always felt like one. And maybe that was part of the problem.

Lately, you found yourself tossing and turning in bed, wondering exactly what your relationship with Soobin was. You could be yourself around him, no question there. But somehow, there was a hesitation now, a wariness. You walked on eggshells, careful of every word, every movement. Always afraid that you might accidentally do something that would make him see you differently—make him find you... well, embarrassing.

But the thing was, it didn’t matter how careful you were. You always ended up embarrassing yourself anyway. Whether it was a slip-up in conversation or a stupid mistake that left you red-faced, it seemed like there was no escaping it. Soobin never made you feel bad for it, though. He never pointed out how awkward you could be. But that only made the moments of embarrassment sting more, because you weren’t sure if he noticed and just didn’t say anything—or if he actually didn’t mind. Or worse, if he didn’t even care at all.

You sighed, burying your face in the pillow. Whatever it was, it was complicated. And tonight, it felt heavier than usual.

—

“Are you fucking kidding me?” You muttered to yourself, standing at the entrance of your campus, staring at the sky as the rain came pouring down in thick sheets. Your bright dress, now damp and clinging to your skin, felt like a cruel joke in the face of nature's wrath. Of all the days to forget your umbrella, it had to be the day the sky opened up like hell itself.

“Need some shade?” A voice broke through your frustration. You turned to find Beomgyu, his familiar grin plastered across his face.

You sighed in relief. “Oh, thank God. I thought I was going to be stuck in this stupid rain forever. Not to mention, I have about three assignments from Mr. Kang due today.”

“You’re not done?” Beomgyu’s laughter rang out, clearly amused by your predicament.

“No,” you groaned, “I stayed up all night yesterday, playing ranked with someone who wouldn’t let me sleep.” You shot a side-eye at him.

“Weren’t you the one who kept saying, ‘one more! One more!’” Beomgyu teased, nudging you lightly as he stood beside you.

“Actually—”

A throat cleared from in front of you.

You froze, recognizing the deep, familiar voice before you even had the chance to look up. There he was. Soobin. The last time you'd seen him, he had almost kissed you at the dining table, leaving you in a whirlwind of confusion.

And now, there he stood—dressed in his aviator uniform, the same one he’d promised not to wear around your campus. It was a strange mix of familiar and foreign, making your heart skip a beat. In his hand, he held a yellow umbrella, an offering that seemed to make the rain somehow less threatening.

“Soobin,” you blinked, still caught off guard by the unexpected encounter.

“Kiddo,” he said, your nickname slipping from his lips with such bite that it almost felt like a curse, the venom in his tone thick enough to feel.

“Hey, Beom. Why don’t we just catch up next time? I think... I’ll head out with my brother.” You fumbled over the words, the awkwardness of the situation sinking in.

Beomgyu looked between you and Soobin, brows furrowing. “I didn’t know you had a brother.”

“She doesn’t,” Soobin responded, his voice colder than usual as he tugged at your wrist, pulling you under the shelter of his umbrella and away from Beomgyu’s.

As you walked side by side, the weight of the silence between you and Soobin grew thicker with each step. The rain pelted down around you, but somehow, it only intensified the tension that seemed to have appeared out of nowhere. Every step you took toward his car felt like it carried an unspoken question hanging in the air, something that neither of you were ready to address.

The usual playful banter, the comfortable teasing, was nowhere to be found. It was just you, him, and the storm.

“Brother,” he repeated, his voice low, a strange edge to it. “Is that what I am?”

You bit your tongue, resisting the urge to say, Isn’t that what you are? but you held back. The last thing you wanted was for him to be even angrier than he already was.

“You can’t always barge into my school—” you started, but he cut you off.

“I didn’t barge in. And it’s not like I’m always around. I only get to see you three times a year,” he shot back, frustration clear in his voice.

“And whose fault is that?” You raised your voice, the heat of your own irritation rising.

The words hung in the air between you, charged with the unspoken resentment that had been building for months, maybe even longer. Each sentence felt like it was leading somewhere neither of you were ready to go.

“You don’t think this is driving me crazy?” His voice cracked, the frustration in his tone raw and desperate.

“What?” you asked, unable to understand where he was going.

“This…” He stopped walking, turning to face you fully, his eyes dark with emotion. The rain hammered down on both of you, the world around you drowned in the heavy downpour. “I dread every single time I have to go back to school, but you—" He took a breath, his chest rising and falling as if the words were physically painful. "You don’t understand how hard it is for me, do you?"

You shook your head, fighting the urge to pull away. "Then why’d you have to leave?"

His face softened, but there was still tension, thick and unresolved between you two. “This is my dream, kiddo. I can’t just give it up.”

In your head, when you were rational, you understood him. You knew this was his dream, knew he was doing what he needed for himself. But the irrational part of you—the selfish, bitter part—hated him for leaving you behind.

And right now, that irrational part was winning.

—-

Two months passed, and Soobin kept his promise, making an effort to call you, FaceTime you, and stay connected. His presence, even from miles away, felt constant, like he was always there, right beside you, despite the distance.

“My school’s having an open house next week. Care for a tour?” Soobin’s voice came through the speaker of your phone, his eyes bright as he grinned at you through the screen.

You were getting ready to go out with your friends, carefully applying your makeup, with Soobin’s FaceTime open in the background. Every so often, you'd catch him staring at you. A small smile tugged at your lips as you caught him watching.

“Sounds boring,” you teased, tilting your head as you brushed on mascara.

“C’mon. You finally get to see what I’ve been doing!” he pressed, leaning in closer to the screen. The playful glint in his eyes was impossible to miss.

“A bunch of men in sunglasses, walking around—how’s that fun?” you joked, giving him a look.

“You get to see me,” Soobin grinned, his expression softening as if that was the only reason you’d need.

You paused for a second, the playful tension between you two flickering in the air. Soobin never seemed to shy away from making you smile, and just hearing his voice was a comfort, even if it was through a screen.

“Fine. But what do I get out of this?” you challenged, a smirk playing on your lips.

Soobin’s face lit up, his eyes gleaming mischievously. “I’ll treat you to the best steak dinner in town,” he sang, practically grinning ear to ear.

“Fine.”

—

You tiptoed, scanning the expansive campus before you, feeling like a small fish in an ocean of ivy-covered buildings and sleek modern structures. This wasn’t anything like your school. While your own college had its charm—basic yet cozy—this place was a whole new level. Soobin had told you countless stories about his prestigious flight school, but you hadn’t quite grasped the sheer scale of it until now.

You scratched the back of your head, feeling entirely out of place. The student helper had handed you a map with a bright smile, showing you the way, but now, standing here, all you felt was confusion. The buildings were enormous, towering over you in their stark, polished splendor.

Your eyes scanned the map again, trying to make sense of it. "For Pete's sake," you muttered under your breath, "I'm a marketing major, not a map reader." The arrows, the numbers, the squiggly lines—they all blurred together as you tried to figure out where to go next.

You tilted your head, feeling even more disoriented. Maybe it wasn’t the worst idea to just follow the crowd and hope they were heading in the right direction, but the thought of getting lost in this campus—alone—didn’t sit well with you. Soobin had warned you it was big, but you had no idea it was this... overwhelming.

With a sigh, you stuffed the map into your bag and made your way toward the nearest building, hoping for some sort of sign. You were here for him, after all, so you might as well try to make the most of it.

“I knew you'd get lost.” You heard Soobin’s voice before you saw him, and when you turned around, he was standing there, hands casually tucked in his pockets, a grin already playing at his lips.

“Soobin!” you exclaimed, rushing toward him without thinking. You jumped into his arms, and before you knew it, his strong arms were securely around your waist, lifting you off the ground. You wrapped your legs around his waist, holding onto his shoulders tightly as he spun you around with a surprised laugh.

“Whoa there!” Soobin chuckled, his voice low but warm. He adjusted you in his arms, steadying you as you both laughed. “Miss me that much?” he teased, his eyes sparkling with amusement.

“No idea what you’re talking about,” you grinned, playfully pretending to look away as if it was no big deal, even though your heart was racing just a little faster from being so close to him.

“Well, I didn’t know our captain had a little girlfriend,” Soobin heard the teasing voice, and as he turned, he spotted his classmate, Yeonjun, casually strolling over with a knowing grin on his face.

Soobin’s cheeks flushed slightly at the comment, and he quickly shifted his gaze back to you, still holding you in his arms. You, in turn, gave him an exaggerated pout, sensing the awkwardness creeping in but unable to hide your playful smile.

"Hey!" Soobin called out, waving at Yeonjun, and then turning to you with a sheepish smile. "Uh, this is Yeonjun, my buddy from school, and this is my..." Soobin trailed off, his words hanging in the air for a moment as he awkwardly fumbled for a way to introduce you.

You raised an eyebrow, waiting for the rest of his sentence. Your hands still resting on his shoulders, you felt a playful tug at your lips, enjoying the teasing moment.

“Well?” you prompted with a teasing grin, your heart fluttering with excitement.

Soobin let out a small sigh, clearly not expecting the teasing tone in your voice. He rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly, glancing between you and Yeonjun before simply introducing you with just your name.

You smiled, though there was a hint of disappointment in the simplicity of his introduction. It was no surprise, really. After all, things between you and Soobin had never been clear-cut. The bond between the two of you had always felt different than any friendship you’d had before. You weren't sure if it was just the history, the closeness, or something more. And maybe he didn’t either.

But for a moment, you wondered if that was the problem. Maybe Soobin was as unsure as you were about the lines between friendship and something else. You tried to push the thought away, not wanting to make things awkward with his friend or with Soobin, but you couldn't help the way your heart sank a little.

You could feel your cheeks heating up. It was funny, wasn't it? How a few words could stir up so many feelings.

You decided to let it go, brushing it off with a small laugh, not wanting to make things weird. “Well, nice to meet you, Yeonjun,” you said with a smile, even though a small part of you was still wondering what you really meant to Soobin.

—

Soobin was practically beaming as he led you through the bustling campus, introducing you to what seemed like every single person he passed. You were taken aback by how popular he was—lecturers waving at him from across the hall, students stopping to chat, and even the cafeteria lady greeting him by name. 

As he continued to show you around, he gestured toward a large open area ahead of you. Your eyes widened in awe as you saw rows of jets and small planes lined up, gleaming in the sunlight. 

“And this is, of course, where the magic happens,” Soobin said.

You stood in awe, unable to hide your excitement. "This is so cool. I had no idea it would be this... massive," you said, still taking it all in.

Then, with that mischievous glint in his eyes, Soobin shot you a confident smirk. "Wanna see me go for a spin?" he asked, clearly enjoying the attention his world was getting from you.

You blinked, taken aback by his sudden offer. “Is that allowed?” you asked, your voice almost timid as you tried to understand the logistics of what he was suggesting.

Soobin waved off your concern with a casual shrug, the cocky grin still firmly in place. “Yeah, I just gotta make sure the control tower knows what’s up.” He nodded.

You laughed nervously, but the thrill of being with Soobin in his element started to take over. “Alright, Mr. Confident. Show me what you got.” You crossed your arms, trying to look more composed than you felt, but your heart was racing. 

Soobin's world was so far beyond anything you had ever imagined, and yet, somehow, being here with him made everything feel... a little more exciting.

“Soobin, what are you—” you started to ask, but he was already pulling you toward one of the planes, his grip firm but gentle on your wrist.

“C’mon,” he urged with a playful smile. “Just sit here and wear this. It’s gonna get… a little loud.” He handed you a pair of large headphones, the kind you might wear at a concert or a race track, and gently placed them on your head before you could protest.

You adjusted the thick, padded ear covers, feeling a bit out of place but oddly excited. "Loud? What do you mean by loud?" you asked, eyeing him skeptically, though the thrill was starting to build inside you.

With a grin, Soobin gave you a wink. “Trust me, you’ll see,” he said, giving you one last reassuring squeeze on your wrist before heading to the cockpit.

You watched as he climbed into the plane, his movements smooth and confident. He looked like someone born to be up there, and for a moment, you forgot about everything else, just taking in the sight of him preparing for takeoff.

“Ready to feel the wind?” Soobin called out, his voice barely audible but still full of that familiar playful tone.

You gave him a thumbs up, a nervous smile tugging at your lips. “I guess I am now!”

The engine roared to life, vibrations running through the ground as the plane’s power surged forward, filling the air with an electric buzz. The noise was deafening, and the plane’s tires rolled across the runway, lifting off into the sky with incredible speed.

There he was, soaring higher and higher, the once small figure on the ground now a speck in the vast expanse above you. The excitement in your chest bloomed as you watched, a mix of awe and pride flooding over you. Soobin was up there, living his dream, and you could only watch.

As you watched him soar higher into the sky, your chest swelled with pride. The frustration, the anger, all the times you had felt hurt by his absence seemed so small now, like distant memories fading in the vastness of the present moment. Watching him take off, you realized something: those petty arguments, those moments of selfishness, they didn’t matter anymore.

“I’m really proud of you,” you said, speaking into the headphones as if the words might somehow reach him in the air. You meant it with every ounce of your being.

Through the muffled sound, Soobin’s voice came back, light but filled with warmth. “You are?”

You nodded, even though he couldn’t see it. “I am.”

You didn’t know if he could hear the emotion in your voice, but it didn’t matter. He had always known how you felt, even when words were hard to come by. 

—

“Do you really have to go back so soon?” Soobin’s voice carried a mix of reluctance and something deeper, something unspoken.

You glanced at your phone and sighed. “Soobin, you have class at 5, and it’s already 4:30. I’ve overstayed my welcome. The open house ended two hours ago. It’s time for me to go.”

“Where’s your hotel? I’ll come see you after my training,” he offered quickly, his words almost spilling out too fast, as if he were trying to find a way to keep you here longer.

You gave him a small, understanding smile. “Doesn’t your training end at night?”

“It’s only two hours, I’ll be done by 8 at the latest,” he replied, his voice sounding more desperate, though he tried to mask it with that confident tone you were so used to.

You shook your head softly, though your heart fluttered at his insistence. “Then you should get some rest. You have that flying test tomorrow, and I don’t want to be the reason you’re too tired to focus—”

“You sound like you’re trying to get rid of me,” Soobin muttered, a sigh slipping from his lips, though there was a clear sadness in his voice that made your heart ache.

“Trust me, that’s the last thing on my mind,” you said quickly, your voice soft but sincere. “I just want you to be safe, sound, and well-rested. You’re only half a year away from graduating. You need to ace this test, Soobin. You’ve got to be the best.”

“Fine. You’re right,” Soobin sighed again, but this time, there was an underlying weight to his words. He took a step closer to you, his gaze softening as his eyes lingered on your face. It was almost as if he wanted to say more, something deeper, something that was building between the two of you.

You could see it in the way he looked at you, the way his lips parted slightly, as though he was debating whether to kiss you then and there. But instead, he pulled back, running a hand through his hair in frustration, as if trying to push away the overwhelming emotions he was feeling.

“Alright. I’ll rest. But... I’ll miss you, you know,” Soobin added quietly, his voice barely above a whisper.

You smiled softly, a warmth spreading through your chest. “I’ll miss you too, Soobin. Just take care of yourself. You’ve got this.”

–

At the hotel, you paced around, your thoughts tangled in a mess of emotions. It was your last night in town, and as much as you tried to enjoy the moments you had left, something gnawed at you. You missed Soobin. You craved more of those quiet, private moments with him, just the two of you. 

The selfish thoughts crept in again. You thought about how he was always the one picking you up from school, how he was always there for you when you needed him. But now, you wanted to do something for him. You wanted to surprise him. Maybe, just maybe, you could be the one to pick him up for once. He deserved it.

Without thinking twice, you grabbed your jacket, quickly dashing through the hotel lobby. The buzz of the night was fading around you as your heart raced with the urgency of the impulse.

“Taxi!” you called, waving your hand for the nearest one.

The cab pulled over, and you hopped in without a second thought. It was impulsive, reckless even, but you didn’t care. Tonight, you were going to make sure he knew how much you cared, how much you wanted to be there for him—just like he had always been for you.

You knew Soobin took the bus to his rented apartment across town from his school, so you waited at the bus stop for him. 

A few kids stood beside you, their laughter filling the air as they played with a strange contraption you couldn't quite identify. It looked like some kind of toy, and every minute or so, you could hear them squealing with excitement. It was adorable. For a moment, it reminded you of you and Soobin—the way you both would joke around and get lost in your little world.

“Hey, do you think I can be a pilot when I grow up?” the boy asked, gesturing toward the school in front of you.

“Sure, if you magically had good eyesight,” the girl giggled, flicking his glasses.

“That’s not very nice!” the boy pouted, clearly offended.

“I’m kidding! I just don’t want you to go. My mummy says that if you go to flight school, you’ll have to stay here for almost three years. You can’t leave me!” the girl yelled, her tone playful but filled with sincerity.

“I won’t! You’re my friend!” the boy reassured her.

“Friend?” she asked with a dramatic pause.

“Okay, fine. Best friend. But I have lots of best friends. One of them can draw really well, and another one can run really fast,” the boy bragged, puffing out his chest.

“You’re not the only one with many friends. I have one too! A friend who can do a backflip! So I think my friend’s definitely cooler than yours!” the girl argued confidently.

“Nuh-uh,” the boy shot back.

“Yuh-huh!” the girl retorted, sticking her tongue out.

“MISS!” Both kids suddenly turned and looked at you in unison, startling you.

You blinked in surprise, eyes widening. “Huh?”

“Can you please tell us whose best friend you think is the coolest?” they both asked, their little eyes sparkling with anticipation.

Just as you were about to answer, a familiar voice called out from behind you.

“What are you doing here?” Soobin’s voice rang out, and you turned to see him standing there, looking both surprised and slightly out of breath. His uniform clung to his sweaty body, his hair tousled from a long day’s work. Despite it all, he looked… really good.

“Surprise!” you smiled, the excitement bubbling inside you at the sight of him.

He blinked, clearly caught off guard, and then his lips curved into a smile as he took in the scene—the two kids staring at you, waiting for an answer, and you standing there, grinning like you were up to something mischievous.

“Well, now I’m curious too,” he chuckled, his voice softening as he stepped closer, his gaze never leaving you. The tension between you two seemed to fill the air as he stood there, waiting for you to respond to the kids’ question. “Who has the coolest best friend?” 

Your eyes flicked from top to bottom, taking in Soobin as if you were seeing him for the first time. He was a pilot, for Pete’s sake. A damn pilot who looked like he belonged in a magazine. The way his uniform clung to his body, the way his disheveled hair still made him look effortlessly perfect—it made your heart ache in ways you couldn’t explain.

And then, beyond all the looks, there was everything else.

He was the one who cooked for you when you were hungry (even if it wasn’t the greatest, you appreciated the effort). The one who would call you every time a thunderstorm rolled in just to make sure you could sleep through the noise. He was the one who ordered food for you during exam weeks when you’d forget to eat, completely consumed by your studies.

Soobin was the kind of person who thought of you before himself, every single time. And as you stood there, watching him, it hit you just how lucky you were to have him in your life. But it also left you wondering why you had been so reluctant to admit it.

“Are you just going to stand there, or are you going to tell us whose best friend is cooler?” the little boy’s voice snapped you out of your thoughts, his eager gaze pulling you back to reality.

You blinked, a small laugh escaping your lips as you glanced between Soobin and the kids. There was no contest. “Well, I think,” you paused, locking eyes with Soobin. “My best friend is definitely the coolest.”

The girl rolled her eyes, crossing her arms with an exaggerated sigh. “You’re just saying that because he’s handsome,” she muttered, clearly unimpressed.

“Oh please, my best friend’s a pilot—that’s way cooler than whatever you’ve got going on!” you shot back, sticking your tongue out at her.

The boy gasped dramatically, pointing at you. “You’re a grown woman fighting a child!” he accused, his finger still aimed in your direction.

You raised an eyebrow, feigning mock offense. “I’ll have you know, I’m just a grown woman with excellent taste.” You turned to Soobin, who was standing there, slightly amused by the whole interaction. "Don’t worry, they’re just jealous."

The kids both groaned in unison, clearly giving up on the argument. They turned away, muttering something about how unfair the world was.

“You’re such a loser.” Soobin laughed.

—

"So, this is your bachelor pad?" you asked, glancing around the apartment as you took it all in. The black and white decor was sleek and minimalist, just like Soobin himself. It was everything you'd imagined, yet still somehow more.

You hadn’t seen this place in person before, only catching glimpses of it through his Facetime calls. But now, it was real—and you were here.

Soobin had been quiet ever since the bus stop. You didn’t think much of it. He was probably just tired.

"I can cook dinner for you!" you offered, standing up from the couch, eager to do something.

But before you could take a step, Soobin reached out and pulled you back down, making you sit beside him again.

"Huh?" you blinked, confused by the sudden action. "You okay?"

He nodded slowly, but his eyes were heavy, his exhaustion evident. He reached up, his hand gently cupping your cheek before sliding through your hair.

You froze as his face came closer to yours. For a moment, you didn’t quite understand what was happening. But then, your cheeks flushed crimson as you realized. Your heart started to race, and you felt the weight of his presence more than ever before.

"Soobin?" you whispered, voice barely a sound.

"You don’t know what you do to me," he murmured, his voice low and rough. His gaze dropped to your lips, and his thumb brushed gently across them, sending a shiver through your body. "You have no idea how much I want you."

"Soobin?" The whisper left your lips again, barely audible, as you looked up into his eyes, searching for something—clarity, maybe. You weren’t sure.

His hand tightened its hold on your hair, pulling you closer. His breath was warm against your skin, and for a moment, neither of you spoke.

“I’ve been wanting this for so long,” he confessed, his voice barely a whisper, but it felt like the heaviest thing you’d ever heard. His fingers trailed down your jaw, before resting on your neck, gently tracing the curve.

"Soobin..." your voice was barely a breath, filled with an emotion you couldn’t quite name, but your body knew. His face was so close now, his lips hovering just above yours. 

But before anything could happen, Soobin fell back into the couch, his eyes shutting, his body sinking with a soft exhale. The tension in the air seemed to evaporate, replaced by a quiet exhaustion you hadn’t noticed before.

You froze, caught off guard. Soobin's chest rose and fell steadily, his body heavy with the weight of the day.

You sat there for a moment, unsure of what to do next. His hand still rested near your face, but his focus was elsewhere now. His lips were parted slightly as he breathed deeply, clearly drained.

"Soobin?" You tried shaking him gently, your voice soft, but he didn’t stir.

He was asleep. Fully asleep. The weight of the day must've finally caught up with him. You let out a small chuckle, watching the way he looked so peaceful, the kind of tiredness that only came after giving so much of himself.

—

The next morning came with a jarring sound. You jolted awake as loud pans clattered together, and your eyes quickly flicked to the kitchen.

"Soobin?" You called out groggily.

"Shit, did I wake you?" His voice floated back to you, and you spotted him shirtless, moving around the kitchen with a slight sense of chaos in the air.

A part of you wanted to shield your eyes, but another part of you couldn’t help but appreciate the sight. You quickly turned away, reminding yourself that this was Soobin.

"Kinda," you muttered, still avoiding his gaze.

"I was just gonna make you some eggs before you head back to the city," he said, nonchalant, like the situation was completely normal.

You nodded, still looking away, eyes glued on the floor. "Oh."

You heard him chuckle softly as his footsteps grew louder, and then his large palm was suddenly resting on top of your head. You stiffened, feeling the warmth of his touch.

"Something on the floor, kiddo?" Soobin teased, his voice light. "I can put a shirt on if you like."

"It’s okay. It’s your house. I’m just a guest," you mumbled, your voice small as you tried to hide the way your heart was racing from the proximity.

"You’re not even looking at me," he continued, playful.

“It’s not my fault you're walking around half-naked in the apartment–” You looked up, intending to be annoyed, but your words died as you met his gaze, realizing how close your faces were. The air between you felt charged, and your eyes briefly flicked to his abs — defined, sculpted, distracting — before your face turned beet red.

“Cover up,” you muttered quickly, reaching for his shirt and tossing it to him.

He caught it with a grin, but didn’t immediately put it on, still teasing you with that mischievous glint in his eyes. "What’s the rush, kiddo? It’s just me."

You could barely manage a glare, your hands fumbling awkwardly in your lap. "Just... put it on," you repeated, your voice quieter this time.

As you sat on his dining table, you swung your legs, nudging his ankles with yours.

“You still do this?” he said, glancing at you.

“Huh?” you replied, not fully realizing what you were doing.

“Swinging your feet,” he mumbled, glancing at your legs.

“Oh right,” you quickly stopped, suddenly self-conscious.

“I wasn’t complaining,” Soobin said with a small chuckle. “In fact, I kinda miss it. Do you remember how much Mom used to scold you for that?”

You nodded with a smirk. “And you didn’t help when you constantly complained about it to her!”

He grinned, leaning back in his chair. “Hey, someone had to take the fall. It wasn’t like you were going to stop on your own.”

You rolled your eyes playfully. “Right, like you were any better. Always tattling on me.”

Soobin laughed softly. “I wasn’t tattling. I was just... helping Mom keep track of your chaos.”

“I wasn’t that bad!” you protested, though you both knew that wasn’t entirely true. You both had your moments as kids.

“You were always full of energy,” he said with a fond smile. “But I think I miss that. The energy, I mean. Things were simpler back then, weren’t they?”

You paused, the weight of his words settling in. “Yeah... simpler,” you echoed, realizing he was right. Those moments, despite the annoyance at the time, had a kind of warmth to them that you missed.

Soobin glanced at you, his expression softening. "You know, you’re still my little sister, right? Even if you’ve changed a lot, I’ll always see you like that."

You looked up at him, a swirl of emotions swirling in your chest. "I know," you said quietly, a faint smile tugging at your lips.

It was funny—little sister. The words rang in your ears, and though they should’ve comforted you, they did something else entirely. You’d always taken comfort in his protective nature, his constant care, but today, the familiar title struck a chord inside you. Little sister. The term felt almost too distant now. A part of you realized, maybe for the first time, that you didn’t want to be just his little sister anymore. Maybe that wasn’t the role you wanted to play in his life.

You shifted uncomfortably in your seat, glancing down at the table. “I guess I’m still that little kid to you, huh?” you said, trying to keep your tone light.

Soobin’s lips twitched, a small smile pulling at the corners of his mouth. “Always will be,” he said, his voice playful but with an undertone of warmth.

But as you sat there across from him, something shifted inside of you. You weren’t sure exactly when it happened, but in that moment—sitting at his dining table, surrounded by the comfort of the past—you realized something that made your heart race a little faster. It wasn’t just the memories, the shared history, that made you feel so drawn to him. It wasn’t just because you’d always seen him as the older brother who took care of you.

No, there was something more. Something deeper.

The realization hit you like a wave, and you almost choked on your breath. You shifted uncomfortably in your seat, looking anywhere but at him. But you couldn’t shake the truth from your mind.

You looked up at him again, but this time, it wasn’t the same. You couldn’t look at him and think of him as just Soobin, your older brother. There was an undeniable pull between you that made your heart ache with confusion, longing, and something else you couldn’t quite name.

“I don’t get it.” You felt something stirring in your chest, that uncomfortable mix of desire and confusion. “You call me your little sister…”

“Soobin looked up, brow furrowed. “Hm?”

“You call me your little sister. But we’ve kissed.” you continued, your voice tinged with frustration. You let out a bitter laugh, trying to hide how vulnerable you felt. “How is that… how does that work?”

You swallowed hard, trying to keep your emotions in check. The questions were swirling in your mind, and you couldn't stop them from spilling out. "I just—" You stopped yourself, realizing how tangled your feelings had become. You didn’t want to push him away, but you also didn’t want to continue pretending that there was nothing more than what you thought you had.

Soobin watched you closely, his expression softening. “Isn’t that what you want to be?” His voice was quieter now, more sincere.

You blinked, confused. “What?”

"Isn’t that what you want to be?” Soobin repeated, his gaze searching yours. “That’s what you called me…when Beomgyu was there.”

You stayed quiet, knowing what he had said was true.

Soobin’s expression shifted, his eyes searching yours. For a moment, the room was silent, the weight of your words hanging between you both.

“So, what are we then?” His voice was barely a whisper, as if he feared saying the wrong thing.

You swirled your spoon around the oatmeal Soobin had made for you, the warm steam rising as you avoided looking directly at him. You were just as afraid of saying something wrong—afraid you might ruin everything. The delicate balance of the relationship you two had built, the connection you shared.

Finally, after what felt like an eternity of silence, you spoke, your voice barely above a whisper. “I like you. More than I should. You’re not my brother. And I don’t want you to be.”

—

The door slammed open, and there stood Soobin, eyes wild with something you couldn’t quite place. Your heart skipped a beat, and you quickly pulled away from Kai, one of your neighbours friends, the tension in the room thickening in an instant.

Soobin glared at Kai, and it was like a switch flipped inside of him. “What do you think you’re doing?” he spat, his voice low and filled with an emotion that stung.

Kai, clearly startled by Soobin's intense reaction, scrambled to get up. “I—I wasn’t doing anything. I swear, we were just—uh, talking—”

“Talking?” Soobin sneered, his eyes darkening with jealousy. “You think I’m stupid?”

You stared, frozen, watching as Kai stumbled over his words, trying to explain himself. But Soobin didn’t let him.

“I don’t want you here. Leave.” His voice was firm, and even though it was directed at Kai, the words cut deeper than they should.

Kai, terrified now, stood up quickly, nodding vigorously. “Okay, okay! I’m sorry!” He turned and practically bolted out of the room, leaving you alone with Soobin, your blood boiling.

You stared at Soobin, unable to find the words for a moment, but then you exploded. “What the hell, Soobin? Are you really that possessive of me?”

“I’m not being possessive! I’m just trying to protect you,” Soobin snapped back, but you could see the way his fists were clenched, the frustration bubbling beneath the surface.

You crossed your arms over your chest. “Protect me? From what? Him? I can protect myself, Soobin!”

Soobin took a deep breath, clearly struggling with his emotions. “You don’t get it,” he muttered, his voice softer now. “Guys... guys always have screwed-up intentions.”

Your eyes widened with frustration. “Aren’t you a guy?” you spat, your anger rising with each word.

Soobin froze. His expression faltered, and he was silent for a moment, looking at you like he was trying to process what you had just said. His face hardened.

“I’m your brother,” he finally said, his voice gruff.

“No, you’re not, Soobin,” you snapped. “We don’t even have the same parents. I’m only here because I was left alone.”

Soobin looked like you slapped him. His fists clenched tighter, and his jaw tightened. “Alone? What am I then? A doll?”

The words hit harder than you expected, and it stung more than you wanted to admit. You glared at him, your heart pounding in your chest. “You’re being annoying, and you can’t stand to see me happy, can you?”

Soobin’s face turned red, and he took a step closer, towering over you. His voice cracked with frustration. “Can’t stand to see you happy? Every. Single. Day, I spend my life trying to make you happy. Can’t you see that?”

You knew he was right. You knew he was always trying to make you happy, but you couldn’t let him win. Not now. Not like this.

“Whatever,” you muttered, turning to leave his room. But before you could even step away, Soobin spun you around, his hand gripping your wrist, pulling you toward him. Your breath caught in your throat as his hand pressed against the wall beside you, his body dangerously close.

“Tell me to stop, and I will,” he said, his voice harsh, but there was something more behind it. It was almost like he was giving you one last chance to run.

You opened your mouth to protest, to push him away, but your words died on your tongue. The air was thick between you, and before you could even register what was happening, his lips crashed against yours.

The kiss was rough, heated with months of tension, with everything unspoken between you. It was a kiss that demanded something—something you didn’t know how to respond to. His hand slid to the back of your neck, pulling you closer, his grip on you firm, like he was afraid you would disappear if he let go.

Your heart raced, your body frozen between wanting to push him away and pull him closer. Your mind screamed at you to stop, to break free, but you were too lost in the feeling of his lips on yours.

Soobin pulled back, his forehead resting against yours, both of you gasping for air. He didn’t say anything at first. Neither of you did. It was like you were both waiting for the storm to pass.

And maybe it would, or maybe it wouldn’t. But you knew one thing for sure now: everything had changed.

—-

Four years had passed since that day, since Soobin had left for flight school. You’d buried the memory deep, locked it away like a secret too dangerous to acknowledge. After all, how could you look him in the eye again after that moment? The kiss. The way his lips had felt against yours, as if the whole world had shifted in that one breathless instant.

Kai had been a distraction, maybe. Or perhaps he had been a way for you to cope with Soobin’s impending absence, a rebellion against something you didn’t know how to deal with. After all, Soobin had been your anchor, your family, your “older brother” — until he wasn’t. Until he’d crossed that line, and left you hanging in a way you didn’t know how to understand.

You never brought it up to him. You couldn’t. How could you, when the next morning, Soobin acted like nothing had happened? He was back to being your “older brother,” carrying on like it was just another regular day. As if he hadn’t just kissed you like that, like it was nothing. And so, you pretended too. You pretended it was normal. You pretended like you hadn’t spent days afterward replaying that moment in your head, each time wondering what it meant, what it had been.

—-

The silence between the two of you was deafening. After breakfast, Soobin hadn’t uttered a single word. He was lost in his own thoughts, and it felt like the air between you had thickened, each unspoken word hanging in the space between you both.

You quickly excused yourself, heading to the shower in an attempt to clear your mind. The hot water didn’t wash away the discomfort, though. It only seemed to magnify the embarrassing tension that still lingered. You couldn’t even look at him without feeling the weight of your confession bearing down on you. You had told him everything — that you liked him, more than you should — and now he was just… silent.

When you finished, you grabbed your things, stuffing them into your bag a little more aggressively than you intended. You were angry, frustrated, and honestly just tired of the awkwardness.

Soobin hadn’t spoken to you since you’d laid it all out there. Not even a simple acknowledgment of what you’d said, what you’d put yourself through. It was as if it had never happened. And it made you want to scream.

“Asshole,” you muttered to yourself as you slung your bag over your shoulder.

You couldn’t stay here. Not with him acting like a mute pilot. You didn’t need his silence, didn’t need the awkward tension that came with it. It was too much. You couldn’t handle it.

Just as you were about to leave, you heard the faintest rustle of movement behind you. You spun around, ready to give him a piece of your mind, but he was still there, standing by the couch, looking like he was trying to find something to say. But of course, nothing came out.

“Really, Soobin?” you snapped, your voice cracking slightly. "You’re not going to say anything? Not even after everything?"

Your hand reached for the doorknob, shame settling in your chest, when, just as you were about to leave, Soobin suddenly stood up, rushing toward you. In a flash, he locked you between the wall and his arms, trapping you.

“How could I possibly put into words how much I’ve loved you and yearned for you?” His voice was strained, raw, like every word was fighting to break free.

You froze, your breath caught in your throat. This was the moment you’d been waiting for, yet it felt as though time had stopped. The tension between you both was thick, suffocating almost, but there was something undeniable in the way he looked at you — something that made your heart race despite the anger and confusion swirling inside you.

“What?” you whispered, your voice trembling with the mix of emotions you couldn’t quite sort through.

“I’ve been trying to figure out how to say it for so long,” he murmured, his eyes never leaving yours, “but I don’t know how to make it make sense. I don’t know how to explain how much I’ve wanted you — wanted this — without completely screwing it all up.”

Your heart thudded in your chest. You could feel the warmth of his body close to yours, his breath hot against your skin. You wanted to pull away, to push him out of your personal space, but something held you there. Something inside of you, a pull that you couldn’t deny.

“Then why... why didn’t you say anything before?” You could feel the frustration rising in you, mixing with the vulnerability of his confession.

“I was scared,” he admitted, his voice low. “Scared that it would ruin everything — everything we have. I never wanted to make things weird, especially not with you. But I can’t keep pretending that I don’t feel this way.”

You swallowed hard, your eyes desperately searching his, trying to make sense of the storm of emotions swirling inside you. Was this real? You wanted to understand, to make it all make sense, but you were lost in the intensity of the moment.

“You’re my brother, Soobin,” you said, your voice trembling with the weight of what you were trying to deny. “You can’t just—”

But he interrupted you, his voice steady yet filled with raw emotion. “But I’m not. We’re not siblings. You came into my life like a whirlwind, and now... now you’ve completely changed everything. I think about you every night, every night. How the hell am I supposed to put all this... all these emotions, these feelings, into words when nothing... nothing in the dictionary can explain how much I feel for you?”

His face was inches from yours, his breath warm against your skin. You could feel the heat radiating from him, his presence consuming you. It was as though the air between you both had thickened, each word hanging in the space like a confession, unspoken yet loud in its silence.

“Soobin...” You whispered, your heart hammering in your chest, trying to find something to say, something to stop this, but you were rendered speechless by the intensity in his eyes.

“You—” His voice dropped, thick with emotion, his breath shallow. “You, who flipped my world upside down. You, who I can’t ever stop thinking about, even when I try.” He closed the gap between you, his lips so close you could almost feel them on your skin. “You, who took my first kiss.”

Your pulse quickened, and your chest tightened. Every fiber of your being screamed at you to step away, but you couldn’t. His words were pulling you in, drawing you closer despite the storm inside you. The tension between you was almost unbearable, the words unsaid, but felt deeply in the space that separated you both.

“Soobin,” you gasped, your voice cracking. “This... this isn’t... we can’t.”

But his eyes locked onto yours, unrelenting. “We can. If you’d just let me show you.” His voice was barely a whisper, but it held so much weight, so much desire. He moved just enough to make your breath catch, his body a breath away from yours. The space between you was nonexistent now.

You could feel the heat radiating between the two of you, the space narrowing as Soobin's breath mixed with yours. His hands, firm yet gentle, found their way to your wrists, pulling your arms above your head and locking them there. His eyes were searching yours, his lips barely a breath away. 

Without a word, his lips pressed against yours, tentative at first, as if testing the waters. But then, as if something within him snapped, the kiss deepened. It was slow, deliberate, and all-encompassing. His hand moved to the back of your head, pulling you closer, while your fingers curled into the fabric of his shirt.

You felt the world tilt, as though everything in your life had led to this exact moment. The warmth of his lips, the pressure of his body against yours, made you forget everything else.

Soobin pulled away, his forehead resting against yours, both of you gasping for breath. “I don’t want to stop,” he whispered, voice low and hoarse.

You couldn’t even respond. Your heart was racing, your thoughts a blur. The emotions flooding your chest were overwhelming, but one thing was certain—there was no turning back now.

He slowly guided you toward the bedroom, still holding you close.

—

It had been hours since the two of you went to bed. You slowly woke up, peeking under the blanket and realizing what had transpired between you two. "Oh," you murmured, quickly looking away. Your eyes landed on Soobin, who was lying beside you in nothing but the sheets, his back turned.

You glanced at the clock beside you. It had been two hours since your class started, and you were in a completely different city now. One day of missed classes wouldn’t be the end of the world, but your grades? You weren’t sure.

In a panic, your hand reached for your phone to text Beomgyu and ask him to take notes for you. But before you could, you felt Soobin’s eyes on you.

"Texting another guy when we’ve just done it is crazy," he said, his voice deep with a touch of teasing.

You stiffened, quickly responding, "I’m making sure I don’t fail."

Soobin chuckled, his lips lightly pressing against your bare shoulder, sending a shiver down your spine. "You can’t text a Cassandra or a Layla or something? Why does it have to be Beomgyu?"

"Because he’s my friend," you muttered, flustered.

A playful, almost possessive glint flashed in Soobin's eyes. "Right…a friend…" he said, his voice low and teasing as his arms pulled you closer.

Rolling your eyes, you sighed. "Okay, okay. I get it. You’re jealous." You leaned in to kiss his cheek, a gesture of reassurance.

But then, as if to make it right, you softly placed your hand on his chest. "You know, you should really go to class. You need to keep your grades up too, Mr. Pilot."

Soobin pouted slightly, his eyebrows furrowing in frustration. "I don’t want to go to class without you," he grumbled.

You smiled, running a hand through his messy hair. "Well, I can’t exactly go now can I?" you teased, pushing him toward the edge of the bed.

"Fine," Soobin said with a heavy sigh, pretending to be put out but the smile on his lips was unmistakable. "But only because you told me to."

"Good," you said, kissing his cheek once more. "Now go, and maybe I’ll make it up to you later."

As he reluctantly stood up, his expression softened. "You owe me, but I’m gonna let you off the hook for now. Go crush your class, alright?"

You grinned, still a little flushed from everything, but feeling lighter now. "I will," you said confidently. "Now go. You’re going to be late."

—-

A few hours later, you had texted Soobin, explaining that you really needed to get back to the city. You had an exam the next week, and your days had been nothing short of a whirlwind with him.

You could almost hear the disappointment in his response when he begged you to stay at least until he got back from his flying test. “Just a little longer, please?” The text read, filled with sincerity and a subtle plea that tugged at your heart.

You sighed, knowing you'd just barely make it in time, but… after everything that had happened, after last night, you found yourself missing him more than usual. The way his presence had wrapped around you in a way that felt so familiar, so right. You weren’t sure if you were even ready to leave just yet.

Tapping your phone screen, you typed back, “Okay, but only because you’re being so insistent. I’ll stay until you’re back.”

His reply was quick, almost instantly: “You won’t regret it. I promise.”

You smiled at the screen, feeling your chest warm at the thought of him. You hadn't expected everything to feel so natural, so different, so good with him, and yet here you were, tangled in the very emotions that made you hesitate to leave.

—

As you waited for Soobin to come home, you decided to cook him his favorite dinner. You weren’t exactly a master chef, but you were determined to try your best. You chopped vegetables, stirred sauces, and even got a little flour on your cheek from the bread you had attempted to bake. It was a mess, but you figured it would be worth it when Soobin walked through the door. You smiled at the thought of his face lighting up at the effort you put in.

The clock ticked away, and you nervously adjusted the plates on the dining table, glancing at the meal you had prepared. It wasn’t perfect—far from it—but you hoped it would be enough. You had tried. That had to count for something, right?

You heard the front door open and the sound of footsteps approaching. Then the familiar sound of Soobin’s voice calling out your name.

“I’m home!”

You quickly wiped your hands on your apron and rushed to greet him, just as he walked into the living room, still in his uniform.

As soon as Soobin walked through the door in his little pilot uniform, you couldn’t help yourself. He looked so good in it—too good. The crispness of the outfit, the way it clung just enough to show off his figure, the way his hair was perfectly messy as if he had just stepped out of a daydream. You immediately found yourself glued to his side, your body instinctively leaning against him as he entered.

Your hand rested on his arm, almost possessively, as if you needed to keep him close. You hadn’t realized how clingy you were being until Soobin, looking slightly confused, glanced at you with raised brows. “Hey, what’s with you today? You’re unusually handsy,” he teased.

You paused, your hand still resting on his arm, your fingers lightly tracing the fabric of his uniform. It wasn’t just that you missed him or that you were excited to have him home—it was something about the uniform itself. You suddenly realized that maybe it wasn’t just the comfort of his presence that was making you cling to him so tightly. You could feel your chest tighten as you looked at him.

“I don’t know,” you muttered, but then it clicked. His uniform. That was it. You shifted uncomfortably as the realization dawned on you.

Soobin’s eyes widened as he caught on. “Wait a second... you’re being extra clingy because of the uniform?”

You couldn’t hide your embarrassment, and your cheeks flushed a deep red. You averted your gaze, fiddling with the edge of your sleeve. “Maybe…”

He chuckled softly, his hand gently brushing your hair away from your face, though his expression still held a hint of confusion. “You’re so weird sometimes.”

But then it hit him—that moment when he pieced it all together. He wasn’t just an adorable sight in the uniform; it was the fact that you felt possessive of him, protective, maybe even a little jealous.

“Wait, is this why you hate it when I wear this to pick you up from school?” He continued, stepping a little closer to you, his hands gently resting on your shoulders. “It’s because you don’t like the idea of other girls looking at me.”

You bit your lip, suddenly feeling exposed. You didn’t want to admit it, but there was no denying it. “Maybe,” you whispered, your voice barely audible. 

Soobin’s gaze softened, a gentle smile playing on his lips as he leaned down to kiss the top of your head. “You don’t need to worry about that. I’m not going anywhere.”

You looked up at him, the conflict in your heart still there, but it eased just a little at the tenderness in his eyes. He really didn’t get it, did he? The fact that you couldn’t bear the thought of sharing him. It wasn’t about other girls; it was about how much you needed him for yourself.

“I know. But still,” you muttered, not quite ready to let go of your insecurities just yet.

He chuckled, wrapping an arm around you and pulling you into his side, his warm embrace comforting you more than you expected. “If it makes you feel better, I’ll stop wearing it outside the house,” he teased, but there was no teasing in his voice—just pure affection.

You snuggled closer, burying your face in his chest. “Don’t be ridiculous. You can wear it whenever you want… just… maybe not when you’re picking me up from school.”

Soobin laughed softly, “That’s how I feel every time you walk out of the house.”

“Really?” You rolled your eyes.

“Walking out like that, looking naturally cute, is a heart attack waiting to happen,” Soobin said, his voice almost too serious.

You laughed, “Don’t be ridiculous.”

“I’m not! You don’t see the stares you get outside?” Soobin sighed.

“No, I don’t, because when we’re out together, I only see you,” you teased.

“All these sugary words, you do know we’re still not dating, right?” Soobin said, raising an eyebrow.

You crossed your arms. “Doesn’t this morning count? I lost my—”

“I still haven’t asked you out, though,” Soobin interrupted, a smirk tugging at the corner of his lips.

“Okay, go ahead, ask me.”

“Like this? With me in my work uniform and you in a dirty apron?”

“There’s no better timing. Besides, I’d say yes to anything if you ask me in your uniform.”

“Oh, so that’s how I’ll get you to agree with me now?” Soobin grinned.

“Not everything. I still have a conscience and morality.”

“You do now?”

“Mhm,” you nodded playfully.

“Okay then,” he said, pulling you closer. “Wanna be my girlfriend?”

“That’s so lame.”

Soobin chuckled, his hands resting on your waist as he pulled you even closer. “What’s so lame about it?”

“You’ve got this serious, pilot face, and then you hit me with ‘Wanna be my girlfriend?’” You rolled your eyes, but there was a smile tugging at your lips. “You could’ve at least tried to make it more dramatic or something.”

He raised an eyebrow, a mischievous glint in his eyes. “Oh, I see how it is. You want the grand, swoon-worthy proposal, huh?”

“Something like that,” you teased, leaning into him.

Soobin smiled, his grip tightening around you as he leaned in close. “Well, if you want drama…” He paused, eyes locking with yours, the air between you thick with tension. “How about this?”

Before you could react, Soobin leaned in and kissed you softly, but with a touch of urgency that left you breathless. When he pulled back, he looked into your eyes, a playful smile on his lips. “Now, will you be my girlfriend?”

You were stunned for a moment, your heartbeat racing. “Okay, fine. Yes,” you said with a laugh, feeling your cheeks flush. “But don’t get used to the cheesy lines.”

“I’ll take it,” he said with a grin, his voice full of satisfaction. “Guess that means we’re officially together now.”

“Yeah,” you replied, smiling back. “Guess we are.”

[forsaken-headcanons]

Mafioso + Elliot dude clocking in, this time with Elliot and Killer match ups + their vibes

—Elliot and John Doe matches feel very nostalgic for the former. Since WAAPP was made back in 2007 (technically 2009, since the original was taken down for copyright infringement), Elliot's only 1—3 years younger than John Doe's code depending on how old you consider WAAPP. Yeah, it's been gradually replaced with revamped code since WAAPP still gets updates even in the modern era. But there's still that sickening sense of twisted nostalgia whenever Elliot comes across John Doe's corruption in the map.

...Sometimes he has nightmares about whether or not he could be corrupted like that too. He doesn't know how much old code he has left in him, after all. Never even thought about it until being forsakened.

—Elliot and Jason matches tend to either go one of two ways: Elliot gets wounded so bad he can barely walk or is dead, Elliot easily survives the round with little to no effort involved. It's typically the former since he has a nasty habit of pushing low health survivors out of the way of Jason, taking the blow himself so that the others have a chance to run away/stun.

Guest 1337 usually frets a lot over Elliot during these rounds; he also tends to fuss over the pizza boy whenever he gets badly wounded for pulling some absolutely abhorrent shenanigans. Smth smth Guest 1337 probably asked one of these matches if Elliot felt like he was an expendable part of the team, which left the man in question stuck in a mental bootloop (like when a computer tries to boot up over and over again to no avail).

—Elliot and 1x1x1x1... nothing interesting outside of Elliot getting peeved whenever the latter starts talking about his job. 1x1x1x1 is the embodiment of hate, so Elliot opts to view him like a rude customer that isn't entirely morally opposed to murdering the delivery boy.

—Elliot and C00lkidd is where the fun lies, especially since Elliot knew the latter when he was much younger. He's familiar with how c00lkidd used to act and what he used to look like. This is probably when Elliot starts getting the inkling of an idea that something's behind all of this, because c00lkidd wasn't murderous nor too naive to realize snapping necks didn't cause major injury. The possibility grows stronger when c00lkidd mentions Elliot looking "familiar" for the first time. Of course he looks familiar, you used to love exploiting at his work place!

The worst part about all of this is c00lkidd's pizza delivery attack. If you want Elliot to pinpoint a moment in time when he knew he was in hell or some kind of purgatory, seeing that attack for the first time would be it. The thing is: those aren't just flesh monsters. Those were Elliot's old coworkers, faces still intact enough to offer a level of recognition— offer a name in rare cases.

Oh God. I didn't even think about the Pizza Delivery minions like that before. Maybe I should have.

[futuristicanoe]

near-life experiences

it's just the way it changes, like the shoreline and the sea

MALE reader. sub al <3 feelings ; sex ; issues ; tears [ implied unhealthy lifestyles + alcohol is mentioned ]

Going to a party with Alex usually meant standing by his side and observing other people, since you were not much of a party animal. Neither was he, yet he would still find a way to vanish into thin air suddenly if you forgot to keep him close. Uncomfortably close.

This was one of those rare occasions when you two hadn't arrived at the party together, and your first time seeing him after a couple of months of separation was not planned, or even expected. You spent the entire night studying him from afar.

You noticed how he wasn't drinking a lot. Perhaps because he planned on having something worse than a glass of tequila the next day, so he was balancing it out, but you felt warmth spreading through your chest as one of his – friends? – called out your name, and you saw heat creeping into Alex's face when someone joked about you ogling him from across the room.

"Just making sure he isn't getting into any trouble, that's all," you joked back dryly, since that's what you were supposed to do, for some reason. And because you had missed seeing Alex's face break into a smile.

You loved how his eyes would crinkle when he smiled or moved his mouth around a guttural phrase in one of his songs, and it hit you later on, when he stared up at you, eyes half-lidded and brimming with tears as your fingers held his tongue down, only then did the word come to you.

Pretty.

Not that you had never thought of him as a good-looking man before, far from it, but as he knelt at your feet, pushed his flushed face up against your calf, silently begging you to tug on his greasy hair, you realised just how precious moments like this were, and how often you'd find yourself nostalgic because of them.

His deep, growly voice reduced to soft whimpers, pathetic little huffs as you scraped your blunt nails down his hips. Slick and filthy, all over from hair pomade, sweat, the sloppy kisses you pressed just below his ribs and into his inner thighs. His stomach, supple and thick right where the hem of his boxers peeked out of his jeans.

He was divine. Simple as that.

Pretty, pretty.

Now, where did that word come from?

In the middle of that tasteless party, a girl had come up next to you, leaning against your shoulder and smiling as she followed the line of your nearly unfocused gaze.

"Your friend's really pretty," she said, pointing her nose up at Alex, who seemed lost in an awkward conversation with someone you couldn't even recognise.

Feeling her fingers softly curling in the hem of your jacket sleeve, seeing she had an unlit cigarette balanced perfectly between her lips – already stained cherry pink with her lipstick. It came naturally to ignore the strange feeling her small comment had given you. You simply pulled a Zippo out of your pocket.

But it never left your mind. When you and Alex left the party, somehow still together and respectively sober — you brought it up. Curious.

"Some girl at the party said you're pretty."

He put on his signature grin, a makeshift form of mischief gleaming in his eyes like a promise. "You sound surprised."

You scoffed. "I don't think she recognised you, Al."

His expression flickered back to an unreadable one. "What'd you say to her?"

"Not much, till she asked something else, and then I just said you weren't looking for anything. She was nice about it, though. Nice overall."

Alex regretted being sober. "Lying to strangers 'cause of me, I see."

"There was nothing else to do," you said, before laughing to hopefully ease up the tension. "You've got some boring friends, mate. I don't know why I keep... going back."

Alex hummed, slowing his steps. His gaze travelled around the sky, and the moon reflected in his eyes was almost there — burrowing beneath his eyelashes, hiding. Then he smiled again, like that yellowish little circle hanging high and dry above you two actually gave him an idea.

"What'd you want to say, then?"

"What?" You slowed your steps, too.

"If you hadn't been one of my boring friends, what would you've said to her?"

That was it. Time stopped, replacing the future with something plunged right out of your late-night mirages.

The second you got in Alex's bedroom, nothing seemed to matter. Time bent and coiled like reed stems in your hands. He found himself perched on your lap and pushing you back, too proud for his own good, so you nudged him playfully until he toppled over. Falling from your lap, where he had been hoping to keep circling his hips. He stifled a complaint when he realised he had hit his forehead against something solid, – your elbow? – and you scrambled to grab a hold of his waist.

"Baby?"

You tucked his mussy hair behind his ears. Smiling at the sideburns. His eyes fluttered open. Wide, hungry, unforgiving. Stubborn tears threatened to spill down his cheeks.

Something tightened deep inside your stomach at the sight. The rawness of it irresistible and nearly suffocating. And not even then did that word come to you, since all you had the chance to do was to stare at his pouty face a moment longer before he lunged at you.

His futile attempts at pretending to be angry with you died down soon enough because you weren't playing along. No, you kept doing what he feared the most. You unbuttoned his shirt and pressed tender little kisses into his collarbones. All smooth skin and divots only deepening as his shoulders curled inwards, the unfamiliar— nostalgic sensation of your breath tickling his chest had him lightheaded.

Long gone was that dirty look he had earlier, and as you rubbed your thumb over the darkening circle under his eye, you saw it all.

"Oh, c'mon, love. You're fucking me up. What'd you have to look so goddamn innocent for?"

Alex narrowed his eyes at that, like he was going to get defensive. "'m not innocent. Just not used to it."

"To what?"

He huffed. "Don't act like you've got a name for whatever this is."

You grabbed both of his wrists. Pushed them together and held him close, just like that. Uncomfortably close.

"I've got a name for everything, and I don't think you'd like hearing about it," you said. Alex frowned. "God, I forgot how stubborn you get when nobody's been fucking you properly in a while."

He tested if your grip around his wrists was strong enough.

"D'ya have a name for me too, Mr—?"

You shut him up this time. Kissed him until he started pawing at your shoulders, like he had any right to be the one expecting more, begging for attention. Like he wouldn't easily go cold turkey on you and disappear the next morning. He had done that before. Left you with nothing more than a couple of bite marks and a strange little Zippo lighter. It was empty, too.

Pretty, pretty, pretty.

He shut his eyes tightly as you coaxed him onto his stomach, turning into putty in your hands when you pressed down on the prominent line of his spine, whispering a soft, "Can you arch better for me, love?" And if he had been doing a good job of keeping his emotions at bay all night, he couldn't do it anymore after you brushed your knuckles against the short hair on the back of his neck, and told him just how good he was for letting you do this again. Whatever this was. Frisson ran through his entire body, nearly touching his heart, too. Now, that would have been too much, even for him.

With the position Alex was in — hips lifted and face down, — he easily muffled his noises, no doubt drooling on his pillow a bit indecently and acting too much like a messy little thing. You marvelled at the soft curve of his waist, at how effortlessly your hand slid down his back. Your touches were gentle to keep him pliant, but firm enough to have him gasping sharply, twisting his head to the side to look at you over his shoulder.

You didn't pull away or pause your movements after he had come all over his tummy. Even given you a drawn-out whine and one of those adorable keens. You just pressed your mouth against his temple, breathing him in.

You gently helped him turn onto his back. Desperately needing to see his face more than you had ever needed anything in your life. His bitten lips, sticky eyelashes, cheeks shiny and rosy from sobbing a bit too hard.

The colour, or rather the soft glow of relief, looked almost angelic on him. You leaned in closer, asking quietly, "feeling alright, baby?"

Alex nodded, a small grin tugging on his lips as he saw you staring at him, all awestruck and worried. Stupid, he thought, then nodded once more for good measure. The way he looked almost shy again was doing something horrible to you. It wasn't just Alex and his unpredictability. You could barely recognise yourself.

"Yeah," you said, burying your face in his neck for a brief moment. "That's just what you do, then, hmm? But I knew that already."

He smiled. Toothy and sheepish.

"No idea what you're talking about."

You smoothed his petulant frown over with your thumb and wiped his tears away, too. There wasn't much left, most of it had dried already, leaving nearly invisible tracks on his cheeks and a telltale pink colour in his eyes. "Of course," you said, playing along this time. "I don't mind. I've got you."

Alex sighed in response, letting his fingers touch your chin. He wanted to touch you again, but didn't know how. The frenzy was over. In fact, his bones were aching, and he was starting to dread the filthiness surrounding him. It had reached something deep inside him, something that wasn't even meant to be acknowledged, let alone loved. He tapped your chin.

"You don't mind now. But you will," he said.

"I won't."

"You can't know that."

"And you can?"

"Yes," he grinned. "I can do everything, really..."

"Can you do something for me then, sweetheart?"

Almost hesitantly, he nodded.

"Don't let me miss you like this again, because if you do, I won't go about it the long way. I'll just tell 'em you're even prettier with tears framing that little snarl—"

"No, you won't."

"You can't know that," you said, sitting back.

"Well, I know you."

"Then act like it, baby."

Alex went actually quiet. He heard you whisper something about running him a bath. Jokingly promising to carry him if his bones were truly aching that badly — God, did he say that out loud? — But it wasn't really a joke when you asked if he still wanted the chocolate muffins he wouldn't shut up about during the ride home, and all he gave you was a sleepy nod.

He moved back onto his belly, not caring about the filth anymore. Giddy. Pleasantly turbid happiness scratching him like a lungful of daffodils. Blinking slowly. Already missing the solace he knew he'd find in the warm feeling of your weight pinning him down. He shivered.

A/N: the caption is from Hey, That’s No Way to Say Goodbye by Leonard Cohen. <333 tried writing masc reader since everybody (goblin) seemed to want that ... let's hope it's not bad. Mwah.

[kayakima]

Hello I am back with more headcanons

How the 104th Cadet corps smokes 🍃 and what they’re like when they’re high

Plus bonus Porco and Pieck

Eren: Has every form of Rick and Morty paraphernalia in existence. Rolling trays, Tshirts, ash trays, you name it. Unironically says that people need a higher IQ to be able to “fully grasp” the message of the show. Used to smoke indoors but Mikasa pushed him to take it outside or at least open a window. Goes fully nonverbal (for once) but also can’t keep his hands to himself if he’s alone with Mikasa.

Mikasa: Doesn’t smoke a ton but she still somehow has an incredibly high tolerance. Has a pen that she named “Penjamin” and she discreetly hits it at the aquarium/museum. When she’s at home with Eren it takes one hit before their clothes are on the floor.

Armin: Tried smoking but it always just ends up giving him a headache for some reason. Edibles are a bit better but he never seems to really “feel it”, so he prefers to just not partake because he doesn’t want to waste money. Prefers CBD gummies and has a CBD pen on him so he doesn’t feel left out during sessions. A fiend for cigs though.

Ymir: WAKE. AND. BAKE. She can out smoke ANYONE, even Connie. Zeros her bong in one hit and does NOT clean it. Has a whole dab rig and puts grape-sized globs in it just for herself. Unironically watches Jackass and Filthy Frank videos when Historia isn’t around.

Historia: Smoked once and had a panic attack. Does not smoke or partake at all anymore and instead she drinks or hits her crusty ass juul from 2018 that’s covered with faded stickers, and she uses bootleg strawberry juul pods so she feels like she’s doing something. Babysits Ymir when she goes nonverbal and they also can’t keep their hands off each other. She’s the one to clean Ymir’s bong and yells at her when she leaves it on the coffeetable.

Reiner: Can rip a bong like nobody’s business but is classy enough to keep it in a cupboard when he isn’t using it. All his bags and pockets are littered with various brands of mint-flavored dispos because he vapes in public. Gets really calm and quiet and one time when he was with Jean the two of them got way too high together and started making out (they don’t talk about it and nobody else will ever know)

Bertoldt: Surprisingly chatty when smoking. Doesn’t do anything fancy and just has a glass pipe. Taught Reiner what a sploof was so he wouldn’t get caught by his mom. Has a decent tolerance but can sometimes overdo it because he underestimates edibles. “Man this edible ain’t shit” *Ten minutes later*: “dude do you ever think about how our fingers are just bony tentacles?”

Annie: Almost exclusively bums off of other people. Offers a drag of her cig in return. Also gets chatty but not nearly as much as Bert. She’s the one to pick out the movie and she’s the last one to fall asleep. Always jumps for nature documentaries or nostalgic things like Wallace and Gromit.

Marco: Does NOT smoke and sees weed as a gateway drug. Cried when he found out Jean keeps edibles on him and said he didn’t want him to become an “addict” until Jean invited him to babysit a JSC smoke session. Now he dislikes it but tolerates it for Jean.

Sasha: Munchies go with Sasha like milk goes with cookies. Full Mukbang channel with 2 million subscribers. The big draw to the channel is SJC antics and when Niccolo decides to make gourmet food for her to absolutely destroy when high. Eats all the edibles Pieck gives her in like 3 days.

Jean: Has those 5mg Caminos on lockdown in his back pocket to the point where they’ve worn a circular imprint in the denim and he has to clarify that, no, it is neither a tin of dip, nor is it Zyn packets. He keeps the Caminos on hand because they make him more social and relaxed in public without getting too zooted. At home he has a pen but rarely uses it. Prefers 20mg brownies Pieck makes him. Does not smoke with Reiner anymore. (He really enjoyed himself and is scared of the implications)

Connie: spent $600 on a gravity bong because he saw Seth Rogen talk about it. Has a YouTube channel under the name Con-man420 and the videos have titles like “REVIEWING SUPER LEMON HAZExGRANDADDY PURP HYBRID IN 4K HD”. Impossible to tell if he’s high or sober because you’re not ever entirely sure you’ve SEEN him fully sober.

Pieck: Makes edibles. Knows how to make canna-butter and runs a whole under-the-table edible business. Once it was legalized in her state she had a panic attack. When she’s high it’s like her brain completely shuts off and she has to do the little bicep hug with Jean or Porco if they’re out in public so she doesn’t get left behind. Falls asleep every time. Very cuddly and gets handsy depending on who she’s with.

Porco: Smokes out of a pipe shaped like an old-fashioned tobacco pipe. Pieck got it for him as a joke but he loves it. Can do smoke tricks with his pen. Plays Tame Impala and Glass Animals on vinyl and melts into the couch like that one DARE ad

[kleptokure]

Warm Embrace ‧₊˚❀༉‧₊˚.

White Lily Cookie x GN!Reader

A/N: a request from anon <3 I've wrote rules down so you don't have to be left wondering what I will and will not write. And I will get to your SMC request, as I believe it's an adorable idea!

ꫂ ၴႅၴ

Solitude. That is how White Lily Cookie would describe her life. Living in solitude, away from her friends in order to avoid becoming a bother after what she caused.

Nonetheless, a secret longing, a hidden desire, haunts White Lily Cookie whenever her mind goes across the thought. The notion of what she desperately craves, the loving touch from another cookie.

Though White Lily Cookie finds it hard to believe that she could ever be deserving of a beloved companion. After all, she deems Golden Cheese Cookie's prior afflictions to be her fault. How could she trouble her childhood friend? Is she truly worthy of a relationship so tender?

If not, she could always keep Pure Vanilla Cookie close, along with the children that played a part in her rescue.

But she fails to see much reason in carrying that out. Her friends feel so distant, even though forgiveness has been expressed on their part many, many times.

No matter the reassurance Pure Vanilla offers, White Lily cannot come to excuse herself for her past doings. White Lily Cookie dedicates endless effort to overcoming evil. Perhaps then she could be forgiven, but for the time being, she will keep to herself.

Though solitude comes to naught this time around. You, also a friend in her earlier days, came to reunite with her. Of course, White Lily Cookie did not forget you. Your warmth, that some might consider overbearing, was simply too strong of a memory to rid of.

In spite of that, she could not blame you if you fell silent at her reappearance. White Lily would halt her judgement if you went to the same lengths of distance that Golden Cheese has, since she believes such would only be deserved.

Going against her assumptions, you welcomed her with the brightest smile she claims to have seen. You were so giddy to see White Lily Cookie after her lengthy rest, an emotion she failed to foresee.

A reunion that she smiles when thinking of, you rushed to engulf her in a hug. Your arms wrapped around her figure, White Lily Cookie was far too incredulous to return your affection, which she deplores now. White Lily now remembers to reciprocate your fondness each time.

The moment could have brought her to tears, yet a nostalgic smile was laced upon her face instead. She denied ruining the moment with her tears.

White Lily Cookie will forever be thankful for your forgiveness, as without it, she is certain her cookie would be much more frail.

Ever since that day, you have remained at her side, stuck together like glue. The faeries have gotten used to you, considering it abnormal to see you two apart. White Lily would not prefer it any other way, since you have a way of brightening her day like no other.

Might it be a walk through the flowerbeds, tending to the chirpy blue birds, or merely gazing upon the stars when it comes dark out, each occurance is engraved into her mind. When it comes to you, she finds herself wanting more and more of your bubbly personality.

And you are more than happy to give, offering a snug embrace every morning. At dawn, inside of her abode, you tend to braid her hair for her. The feeling of your hands brushing through her hair provide her comfort, and she can only wish to give the same to you.

You insist that all is well, that she deserves to relax for once. With such a genuine expression, you give her sincere compliments for all she has managed to accomplish. Not to mention the consoling touch you hold on her hand. The mass of admiration you maintain for her causes her face to feel hotter, and White Lily is well aware of why.

This time, White Lily Cookie takes the initiative to hug you. It catches you by surprised, but you accept it all the same.

While hugging is always a joy with you, she only gave one to hide her flustered face.

After her discovery, White Lily Cookie has acted a bit shyer, straying from her soft-spoken self. You've noticed, but she denies any accusations you point her way. Avoiding your eyes, along with keeping a foot or two between you both, all while you have not done anything out of order. You fumble to remember the last instance where White Lily has behaved so hesitant.

Mecurial Knight Cookie, always the watchful eye, questions if something is wrong. In spite of what one might think, you settle his worries. You have accompanied White Lily Cookie long enough to be aware of when she is upset in truth, and now, she is not. An emotion more peculiar lies beneath.

Finishing up her nightly duties, White Lily Cookie bumps into you on her trail, which was intended on your side. To make matters worse, the moonlight shines especially nice on your dough tonight. Oh, how difficult you make it to keep a steady face.

"White Lily Cookie," you spoke her name so nicely, it makes her want to crumble. "I know something's wrong. Please, you can tell me." A plead coming from you, how can she refuse? It pains her to realize the worry she has made you experience.

Stepping away from the butterfly arch, you near close to her. This time, she falters to increase distance, allowing your hand to cup her cheek.

Even when she acts out, you continue to save kindness for her, she notes. White Lily releases a shaky sigh, unable to divert her gaze to the pale trees as she wishes. Your eyes are far too captivating.

"[Name] Cookie, I apologize. It's just that..." White Lily Cookie trails off, leaving you brimmed with anticipation. You disapprove of rushing her. Rather, you wait, allowing her to gather her thoughts.

"I’m in love with you, [Name] Cookie," she blurts out, regretting it within the second. To worsen matters, you stare at her with widened eyes. Is it disgust, or mere shock? Her anxious mind makes her believe the former sets as the truth.

Before her subconscious could do anything rash, you embrace her into a hug. White Lily Cookie finds that she fits quite well into your arms, your small cuddle holding tighter than usual.

You whisper, just for her to hear, an acception to her confession. She believes she must have heard wrong. As knowledgeable as she is, White Lily Cookie considers this moment to be a dream, one that she would not mind living in forever.

Returning to reality, White Lily Cookie allows her flower staff to fall, a thump heard when it hits the ground.

Using her now free hands to reciprocate your embrace, White Lily could almost whine. Going nearly a day without your touch is more sufferable than she thought. A mental note is made: to be upfront with her feelings. She deprived herself of love because of her bashfulness, which will be a one time occurance.

Might this be the beginning of a caring relationship, one that she has been yearning for? Maybe being honest with her feelings from the start would not have been so bad.

White Lily Cookie can tell you'll be more insistent to tag along on her checks around the kingdom, which she usually declines since you should be at rest. Though the thought of it does not sound so dreadful, since you will be deemed her partner now. She looks forward to spending even more time with you.

Nuzzling her face into the crook of your neck, White Lily Cookie finds the future of her life to seem additionally pleasing with you present.

Now her solitude will stay shared with another. Please, will you stay for eternity? White Lily is afraid you have turned her greedy. It is now your duty to fill the need you've made her hungry for, which she is certain you'll have no trouble doing. After all, you fullfil the requirement without being asked. What's a bit more to provide?

[lilacxquartz]

Those Late Summer Nights | Chapter 29

satoru gojo x f!reader x suguru geto

plot: moving to the city from a small town was no easy feat, especially to start teaching as a jujutsu sorcerer — warning: this is a yandere story with dark themes throughout.

summary: while on the run, you bond with yuki while suguru indirectly seals satoru’s fate, but not in the way he could ever expect.

masterlist • ao3 • chapter directory • < previous chapter • next chapter >

Chapter 29. Finding Strength

In the meantime, you managed to go quite far under Yuki’s guidance, hastily speeding you both away on her motorcycle within a flash. It had been a while since she had ridden in Japan, but it was easy enough to settle back into, as she even found the scenery to be nostalgic.

As you zoomed through the roads, too, you held on tight around her waist with the last bit of hope you had left. It was, however, still utterly insane to you, that you had to go to such extreme lengths to escape two people to begin with, since you never quite understood the obsession in the first place.

Realistically, you knew that at this point, Suguru was a criminal now after what he had done, but also, that Jujutsu criminals were in a league of their own. The regular authorities were not involved in the crimes committed by sorcerers, leaving the higher ups to navigate the mess. Sure, a warrant could be out for his arrest—or rather death, given that he killed civilians—but even then, it took a good while.

Warped indeed, he was right about that much.

Satoru, on the other hand, you thought, could legitimately buy his way out of trouble as this whole incident could be swept aside as a scandal. In Japan, scandals were pretty life-ruining, but again, it was a different matter with Jujutsu. You learned somewhat about Satoru and his past in passing, some idle gossip that you picked up on occasion from a drunken Shoko, so you were aware that he was already on a muddied slate. You supposed that the little things were forgivable enough, given his cursed technique, and therefore were of huge importance.

Though, you did suppose that it all depended on just how much of the full truth got out. You hoped that if it was revealed that Satoru, even if he was a six-eyes user, was a rapist and abductor, that it would at least set him back socially. But even then, you weren’t too sure.

Yui, for example, a complete civilian, had her scandal swept under the rug. Satoru could very well have that same outcome, especially if you were to disappear, because then it’s his word against some no-name sorcerer.

Ideally, though, you wanted them both behind bars, if that was a possibility at all, but that much was a pipe dream. Given their obsession—which again, you never once understood—you were otherwise just perfectly content with ruining their lives by being just out of reach, never returning whatever it was that they thought they felt with you. Was that petty? Was that weak? You didn’t care too much at this point, as long as they suffered if even slightly. All you cared for the time being was to remove yourself from their lives for good, recovering and then conducting your revenge with a successful life away from them.

Yuki slowed down her bike, tearing you away from your thoughts and meeting with Utahime who gave her a tightly-packed folder filled to the brim with all sorts of papers. She hugged you as Yuki tucked away the contents into the saddlebag of her bike, before calling you over and jumping back onto the road again.

You looked back on occasion, whenever you could, feeling both good about the coast being clear, though also rightfully sceptical. There was no true comfort found from being alone, given just how unstoppable you knew Satoru to be. The guy, after all, managed to find you in the dark of a whole different city. That exact sort of mindset must have been setting you back though, surely, because as long as you could believe he could win—then maybe—he would.

As Yuki too, finally reached the coast, she parked the motorbike a little away from the view as a freight ship loomed just before you both. Quickly, she ushered you into a still-open, large, metal container before punching the interior twice and then the crate was sealed, soothing you by stroking against your arm, and only beginning to talk when the transport seemed to finally settle.

“You’re okay now, I promise,” Yuki spoke, feeding you a warm smile. The crate was dark, but she positioned a phone with the torch mode on, illuminating the whole tight area.

You let out a weary sigh, wanting desperately to believe her, but for some reason couldn’t shake off a particular sinking feeling. “I want to believe that, I really do, but I can’t just… I feel… I feel like… this’ll end badly, just like it always has. He’s the strongest, right?”

Yuki sucked her cheeks, tutting away the concerns. “The strongest, sure, to Jujutsu society, but he’s not invincible,” she soothed, leaning back against the container wall with her arms crossed, “like, we’re going to a place where none of that trust fund, rich-kid bullshit will apply, so it will be over for him,” she paused, trying to offer a warm smile, “trust me.”

Continuing to fret though, you stammered, “B-but…”

Yuki tried again. “I’m taking you to Australia, alright?” she promised, her voice taking on a more hopeful note. “You’ll see, it’s a whole different world. No weird hierarchy, no sorcerer clans—no clans, period—he can’t drag you back into his bullshit there, because it simply doesn’t reach there.”

“D-doesn’t reach there?” you warily replied, not quite believing that fact fully. “He’s so loaded, on both money and power, maybe his influence can’t reach me, but I’m fairly certain that the Gojo clan has good trade connections everywhere…”

“It’s different there, just trust me,” Yuki said, trying her best to sound reassuring , “if some obnoxious heir of a prestigious clan from Japan waltzes over and starts stirring up shit in a foreign country, it’ll look bad and trust me, rich people hate their potential earnings to be at risk—he’ll behave,” she sighed, realising she was talking a little too much, “also, most countries do not care about honour systems or fancy bloodlines—the law is the law and his six-eyed nepotism isn’t gonna change a single thing.”

You calmed down slightly, but then another issue jumped to mind. “O-okay, but… I’m being smuggled there, right? Wouldn’t that make my presence there illegal? If it’s a matter of being protected by a country, then I don’t have that same right, do I?”

Yuki shook her head, fishing out the folder from before. “See this pile of papers? They’re not forged, like before,” she assured, fully aware from going over the plan with Shoko and Utahime that they tried to get you out through illegitimate means, “there’s a temporary residence permit in there, but Utahime’s going to approve the real deal. The thing they don’t really tell you, is that Jujutsu sorcerers have a freedom of movement no matter where they go,” she smiled, leaning back again. “This is typically used for cursed object collection, or finding the on occasion rare sorcerer that isn’t from Japan, because usually it takes a bit of time or… convincing, but you can live anywhere you want while getting that fat jujutsu paycheck.”

“T-then…” you started to reply, trying to reign in your breathing from the whole ordeal, gesturing at the small space you were both in, “w-why are we using such… dubious transportation?”

Yuki simply laughed. “Because, Satoru still has influence in Japan, you were right to be a bit worried there. A regular old airport won’t do, especially since he could easily use his connections to simply not let you fly. Nah, we’re using this old thing. Trust me, I use all sorts of dodgy ways to slip in and out of the country—the whole way people know I’m back is if I let ‘em.”

You sighed and nodded, considering her words and in return, Yuki smiled again, playfully, softly punching your shoulders.

“Relax, seriously,” she murmured, finally content with seeing you not freak out over every little thing, even if she did get it, “I’m gonna be with you each step of the way from now on, hell, I’ll even help you get stronger while I’m at it.”

Within a flash, you grew hesitant again, however. Just the mention of getting stronger alone, pulled up a bad memory for you in mind. “Oh, um, Suguru tried to do that… but I never got too far with his… teachings.”

You shuddered for a split second, remembering his attempts.

Yuki studied your face for a moment, then scoffed with a hum. “Oh? Of course he did,” she leaned forward as she brought her knees to her chest, “he probably didn’t get too far because of his one-size-fits-all mentality when it comes to combat, that’s why,” she replied, trying her best to convince you to let her help you gain strength. “Just… give me some faith, alright? What’s your cursed technique, anyway?”

“It’s a damage reduction technique… like… there’s a radius that prevents damage, usually one person wide, two if I strain myself,” you hesitantly replied, feeling a little shy about it. Nobody ever told you were destined for greatness, and lately, you had found yourself surrounded by special grades. You were a grade 2, good, but again, not great.

Yuki, however, just looked at you with shining eyes, as if almost giddy. “Oh?” she replied, almost foaming at the mouth in thought. “That’s… incredible, you could be extremely powerful—shit—you probably didn’t even realise that, did you?”

You quietly shrugged.

Yuki in the meantime continued, “I’m serious, [name]; if you find your style of combat, then you’ll be practically unstoppable,” she paused for a moment, trying to figure out how to sell your own technique to you, “just think about it, okay? You can stay healthy while bringing the opponent down. Hell, my own technique is all about damage, just imagine if we teamed up.”

You blinked at the prospect, considering it. In a way, it made sense that it could be used in such a way, even if nobody ever told you that it could. You believed your technique to be a support technique, because of what a piece of paper told you when you first enrolled. It felt… nice, almost, to be told that you could challenge that and be someone completely different, even if it started with your technique. You could be strong.

A smile formed at last.

“There we go,” Yuki encouraged, “trust me—I’ll help you the best I can—I have a whole property where we’re going, with so much room to train,” she then leaned back a little, looking around the small space before returning her attention to you, softening her voice a pitch, “and besides, you’ll be able to come and go as you’d like; no more restrictions, okay?”

You nodded, even if your mind kept going back to what you kept thinking was the inevitable. You didn’t want to tamper with the good mood she spent so hard cultivating, so you didn’t deny that you would have a chance to hold your ground, but…

(You also wanted to be realistic.)

“Would that be enough?” you asked, a hint of vulnerability playing into your tone.

Yuki nodded in understanding, keeping her voice low and soothing. “[name], honey, I’ll let you in one something,” she said as she patted the space beside her, encouraging you sit with her and as you did, she continued, “Satoru will only ever be as persistent as he is, as long as he thinks he has a chance,” she revealed, “so, the best thing you can do for yourself—against him—is to deny his entitled mindset; stand your ground.”

“I tried to… for a long time,” you revealed, thinking back to when you at least tried to mentally refuse him, though, you supposed that Yuki had a point in other ways. You rejected him, you denied him, but also, regrettably, you let him break you down. Now that you had a shot to counter that, you didn’t want to fall back into such a possibility. With that in mind, you swallowed down your fears, and settled into a different realm of possibility. “Actually, no, you’re right,” you concluded, “I’ll… deny him again, no matter how many times I have to do so.”

“Attagirl,” Yuki praised, wrapping her arm around your shoulder and giving you an encouraging squeeze before pausing, a playful glint forming in her mind, “by the way—did I ask you yet? What’s your type? In men, women… whoever.”

You blinked at the sudden change of topic, trying to process the question at all. In a way, you never really considered it.

You found that while you liked confidence, you didn’t like arrogance, both of which you found in Satoru. In the same vein, you found that while you like self-assured personality traits, you disliked being cut-off from people when they were going through something, because it made you feel unsure. That was something you found yourself noticing a lot in Suguru. There was something… equally suffocating about them that clouded both of their potentially good traits in a way that could never be lifted.

At this point, all you cared about was the concept of being safe. Everything else—such as looks and what have you—would come after that, as long as you had that main stable foundation to build from.

So, that’s what you settled on.

“My type…?” you asked, with a slight smile. “Maybe someone who makes me feel like I’m at home with them—someone who makes me feel safe?”

Yuki smiled wide at that point. “That’s… a very good answer,” she considered, “it’s a bit of a broad and complicated one, but good—hold onto it and don’t settle until you’re certain that you’ve found someone exactly like that.”

You nodded along and were about to respond, but then the cargo ship came to a jarring stop. The surrounding metal groaned, echoing loudly within the tight confines of the container. Immediately sensing something wrong, you clenched your hands into tight fists, both to calm yourself down but to also feed into your lingering worry.

If this was an official check of any kind, then it still shouldn’t have hit as hard as it did.

Yuki looked around uncertainly, her face only just barely illuminated from the phone sliding away to the other side of the narrow space. She reached out to steady you, taking her responsibility very seriously as her voice came through like the most soothing, reassuring thing you knew, despite the weight of her parted words, “Hey, hey, easy. It’s probably nothing, and if it is something, then let’s just… consider this to be our first practice session together, alright?”

You tried to calm your breathing at the mention, attempting to smooth it all down.

You were tired of being weak.

You were also tired of running.

So if this was a problem, then you would face it head on.

~~~

Back in the house however, Suguru remained frozen as he processed both the swerve and the crash that had finally sank and settled into his ears. He couldn’t track his cursed spirits—nor control them from afar, unless he could see them directly—he wasn’t like Mei Mei who by contrast, could commandeer her crows from a distance. Such a lapse of judgement in his coordination made him fester with self-loathing, cursing at himself for acting without thinking when he could have potentially killed someone he still cared about.

Satoru on the other hand, saw the looming cloud of cursed spirits bubble and cloud the skies, not paying much attention to them as he zoomed away in his car, not taking any time at all to think back to what he now understood to be his rival. Besides, he had a certain idea if Yuki was involved, he could still even sense her cursed energy signature, hinting that she was there at least recently enough.

Yuki Tsukumo might have been able to evade most people, but that didn’t mean she was impossible to find. Satoru, despite the facade he held onto, also, kept tabs on just about everyone, too. He didn’t quite care about Yuki—simply just from never interacting with her, but she got involved—so now his efforts to keep track of her mundane habits were finally paying off. In fact, he had the right idea in mind; you were about to be smuggled out, right?

(Not if he could help it.)

And as he heard something crash and burn in the distance, he didn’t quite pay too much attention to that fact, instead continuing to push through, uncaring of the consequences as he finally lost himself to the full extent of his obsession.

Shoko on the other hand blinked angrily, cursing under breath as she recognised one of the lingering curses nearby as Suguru, immediately assuming that he was being petty one last time. He managed to make her skid off to the side of the road, rounding into a brick wall, but with no real damage to boot.

Though, as she threw herself out and crawled onto the road, an idea formed in mind. Satoru definitely heard that crash. Suguru was at least now willing to redeem himself without any ulterior motive.

“Sorry Utahime, you’ll understand,” she murmured to herself, settling on a plan, she could after all, self-heal after a while, should she get bored from recovering at a conventional pace, before dotting Satoru’s number as her emergency contact instead of Utahime’s, before tipping off the regional authorities about the crash.

She’d get him off your tail, because Satoru’s biggest strength, but also his greatest weakness, was caring, and she was sure to make that his downfall.

As she waited for the emergency services to arrive, she pretended to be more out of it than she was, knowing exactly what sort of warning signs to replicate.

Maybe with some luck, too, she’d be able to shock some sense into the guy.

And if not, then maybe that would be enough time to give you the time you needed.

(It was now or never, after all.)

[haveyouseenthisskeleton]

What if skele's SO is somebody important? like Human kingdom's millitary right hand. how would they reach? thanks for giving us those asks also this feels so nostalgic and so fluffy

Undertale Sans - He doesn't care much. You're his partner, he loves you and that's pretty much what should matter. Unfortunately, he knows it's more complex than that. He stopped counting the number of times you got attacked on live TV for marrying a monster, or simply got asked inappropriate things. Sometimes he wishes things were easier, but luckily he's the best at keeping a deadpan face and not a lot of people can reach under his smile, which preserves your privacy a little.

Undertale Papyrus - Well, he was already some sort of celebrity after he became ambassador, but now he's a super celebrity. No privacy at all, paparazzi taking picture while he's showering, people running after him to ask random things wherever he's going... Ok, maybe he wanted that at some point in his life but now he really doesn't. He misses the time when he could enjoy the silence in his room, and, you know, not hearing the 10-20 reporters under his window wondering how they're going to break in and be a problem. He loves you, really, he does, but he doesn't think his autism can't support all of this for much longer. He needs some alone time or he's going to snap.

Underswap Sans - That's fine, Blue likes the attention, and he's good at staying in control when he gets interviewed from time to time. He's known as the guy who leaves when the questions become too personal. Blue doesn't care. If you want some respect, you're going to respect him, his S/O and his privacy first. You don't, well, he doesn't either and leave. He can even get mad when they intervene while he's working and arrest them. A few learned that way to not piss him off.

Underswap Papyrus - His anxiety doubled since he knows you. It's not just the people following them everywhere, but the huge target in your back, and, well, his. He's tired of having to be under constant protection because you can be assassinated any minute. He's tired he always have to be careful, even when he's going on a grocery trip. He's tired of everyone cooing at him and asking private questions wherever he's going, or Queen Toriel asking him to pressure you on doing things for her. He just wants a normal life. He's not a soldier, he's certainly not a politician. He's just a little dude with anxiety who would love to be able to nap more than a few hours without fearing for his life. Please?

Underfell Sans - Red starts to wonder if he has a type or something. Why are all his closest people military??? Does he need protection so bad that he feels anxious when he's not around soldiers? He's kinda having an identity crisis. But, well, he's glad he has you to not feel like a total loser. Red is not impressed by all the crowd following you around, it was already the case with his brother, so, uh, that's just how relationships work for him? He can even grow a little defensive if people are overstepping your boundaries, which he would never do otherwise.

Underfell Papyrus - He feels Asgore's pressure on his shoulders every step of the way. He loves you, but he knows he can't mess that relationship up, and it's stressing him, as Edge is far from perfect, and he moves on by making mistakes on the way. The fact that any of his mistakes could fragilize the peace between humans and monsters is for sure not helping him to relax. He loves you, really, but he's more acting like Captain Edge from the royal guard than your partner, because he's afraid something turns bad. He's maybe not the best match for you, as the pressure will eventually makes him snap and hurt you without him wanting it.

Horrortale Sans - That would probably not work. Oak is extremely secretive, and suddenly being propelled in the spotlight is not for him. He's not the most friendly toward humans to begin with, except for a few special cases like you, and having so much around him all the time is making him nervous. That would only get worse when the humans noticed he often goes to isolate himself in the forest and decide to follow him to his safe place, which isn't safe anymore, which could trigger him and force him to defend himself. Oak doesn't feel comfortable being with you if you're constantly harassed by people. That's not the life he wants.

Horrortale Papyrus - He's great at supporting you, but like his brother, that would rapidly become a problem as Willow really doesn't like being exposed like that. He can understand you don't have any other choice due to your high rank in the military, but what you do outside has consequences, and he's the one dealing with them. He wishes things weren't this complicated sometimes, and that you didn't need so much protection. He's tired of your soldiers' friends looking at him like he's a bomb about to explode when he's spending more than five minutes with you. If things doesn't change, he might have to take a step back and rethink that relationship. He doesn't want to live like that forever.

Swapfell Sans - That's complicated. Really complicated. His queen wants you dead, your president wants him and her dead, and uh, it pretty much feels like you're star-crossed lovers. Nox has a deep connection with his S/O, so it's not that easy for him to just break a relationship like it is with others, so he's pretty much suffering in silence and not saying everything because he doesn't want to worry you. He goes back into his old habits Underground, overprotective, and stressing so much when you have to leave somewhere without him. It's not healthy. Rus might come to visit you at some point to ask you to please reconsider your relationship to help him. He won't go by himself, but you can force his hands. It's not only about you, and if you like him, you will know what is best for him.

Swapfell Papyrus - Oh, he's fine! Unlike Nox, he loves the attention, especially when he knows it's pissing off Queen Dicktatoriel because she can't control him whatever she does. Rus is defiant of all authority... Which might actually be a problem for you at some point, as it means he won't respect your hierarchy either lol. Rus doesn't mind all the people around you two, he can perfectly entertain himself by pranking journalists. They always have the best reactions. He doesn't mind either paparazzi and their noisy questions. He gives extreme details just so they get embarrassed and decide to leave by themselves. He has no shame.

Fellswap Gold Sans - Like usual, Wine doesn't seem like he's caring at all about your situation and acts like he would with a normal partner. On the inside though, he's a little stressed. You're exposed, a lot, both in the eyes of your people and his. He's not stupid, his King and Queen know you're his partner, which means you're in danger as they won't miss one occasion to try to control him by hitting where it hurts. It comforts Wine a little knowing you're in the military and so perfectly able to defend yourself, but all the weapons in the world are not powerful enough against magic, so he's vigilant. Oh, you'll never know he's a bit worried, he's acting mainly in the shadows, but he knows that if something happens to you, he could never forgive himself. He's playing with fire right now.

Fellswap Gold Papyrus - Coffee is worried about the mess he put himself in. He loves you, obviously, and unconditionally. But, uh, you hierarchy not so much, accusing him of spying for the King and Queen, and for his brother. Well, except his King and Queen actually accuse him to spy ON them and to give Wine and the humans access to sensitive information. Coffee is kinda in the middle of the fire, not really understanding what he's doing wrong when he's mostly at home watching Disney movies with hot cocoa. He doesn't care about politics, and the entire situation is stressing him out. He's glad you're willing to protect him at least a little from everything, and he knows Wine has his back anyway if something turns wrong, but he's anxious. He doesn't want to cause any trouble, and he realizes it might be more complicated than he thought.

[marstonsboy]

i think u like jack marston but idk

nooo. perish the thought! these allegations! i actually can’t stand that guy. that’s why i think about him all the time and am brought to tears by the mere mention of him. and by the way since you brought him up i’m obligated by my special interest to yap at you in an increasingly insane fashion about him. because i don’t like him so much.

there’s a bunch of campfire songs you can stumble upon at beecher’s hope after the sunset. most of the time it’ll be uncle leading the chorus, either with his banjo or without, and abigail and jack singing along. other times it’s abigail singing by herself, but jack will accompany her by playing the harmonica as a backing track.

as far as the ones i’ve seen, i’m fairly certain that none of these are songs you can also see at the various campsites during chapters 2-4. but as they have remained stuck in my head, i like to think jack remembers some of them too. he can still be found playing harmonica in 1911, and i like to think he still would in 1914, if less often. it probably makes him sad to do it, without his momma singing along to her favorite songs that he learned to play for her, but sometimes a tune he heard years ago will pop in his head, and he has to play it to start remembering the whole thing.

a couple times in mexico it’s a handful of words that triggers it. he doesn’t remember all of them, or the order they go in, and lord knows he isn’t good enough at spanish to try and execute it, but it dredges up a very fuzzy, distant memory. one of his uncles playing guitar and singing confidently, while the rest of his family shouted along to the chorus and fumbled their way through the parts they didn’t know.

some dirty joke uncle told him pops in his head, and he laughs at how it would surely disgust both of his parents to hear— and just for a couple seconds, the strings of a banjo. a group of his uncles by the fire, loudly hollering out the words to a song jack was not allowed to hear, as his momma was very quick to put her hands over his ears and yell at them, which only made them laugh harder.

just once, when he’s twelve, he’s reading in the family room at just the right time to hear momma playing something on the piano. it starts off as nothing he recognizes, when she presses the keys experimentally, but soon starts taking shape into something that, for some reason, makes him feel a little nostalgic and a little sad. he hums along unconsciously, just barely loud enough to vibrate in his ears but low enough to not be heard beneath the sounds of the piano.

but he hums a little louder for the chorus, the notes falling into almost the right order in his head as she plays them, and momma stops so abruptly that a noisy wrong note makes him wince. she turns around to look at him. jack tenses, book in hand, afraid he’s done something wrong when momma’s eyes look a little shiny, but she doesn’t look mad.

instead, she smiles. and when she sniffles a little, and when jack asks “are you feelin’ alright, momma?” she just shakes her head, half turned to face him.

“mhm. i just love you so much, you silly boy.” she tells him, and a little embarrassed, jack nods silently and buries his head back in his book.

but after a few seconds, the piano starts up again, and this time momma’s voice accompanies it. halting and hesitating every few lines, like she isn’t certain she remembers all the lyrics, but in the back of jack’s mind he hears a bunch of other familiar voices singing along with her. “jack o’ diamonds, jack o’ diamonds, i know you of old, you rob my poor pockets of silver and gold...”

[yume-fanfare]

(listens to genuine revelation and eccentric party night back to back once) the war truly was the best enstars period

[yutaan]

Papercraft Tohru - and Yuki, and Kyo! And some little fruit details, because, after all... Fruits Basket! 🍎

I got pretty emotional making this one! Fruits Basket had a huge, profound effect on me in my teens, and I often curled up with it for comfort and a sense of companionship during hard times. Now as an adult, it's been a while since I've read the whole series through, but I pick up random volumes fairly often and skim through them to get that familiar rush of warmth. It's still such a lovely series!

[commsroom]

you're remembering this wrong. (by @hehearse)

[c0mplex-heroes]

Maggie smiles, watching after him. After the last few days, this is exactly what she needs... A little normal.

It felt nostalgic in a way. Made her think back to the times when she was a kid. Steve had been her confidant, her best friend back then. Whenever she was lost or felt alone (as she often did back then), he was always there. As much as she didn't want to drag him into her mess, Maggie was so glad he was here. Right now she felt just as lost and alone as that little girl once did.

Taking the bowl, she nods her thanks. She doesn't dig in straight away, gaze becoming distance. "How did you and Sam do this for so long back then? I've only been on the run a few days and I feel more stuck than I did day one."

"Anything for you." He told her.

As he cooked the make and cheese. He couldn't help but be flooded with memories of when she was a little girl. He remembered making the Mac and cheese for her when she got home from school. He remembered her little eyes looking up at him and how happy she looked after eating the food.

When he finished, he came on to the sofa and sat next to her. He had two bowls with him, he handed one to her.

[canisalbus]

Lil guy deserves all the snails :>>

I sketched this out way too fast, sorry if theres any mistakes ^^

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