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#they exist in the same beautiful universe for me
ohgaylor · 5 months
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okay okay okay I’ll admit it! up until now I have really been sleeping on I Can Fix Him (No Really I Can)!!!!!!
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the-casbah-way · 1 year
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so i just finished the birdcage and it has already made its way into my top five films ever like. easily. i have a lot to say about it that i'm not articulate enough to be able to put down in writing, but it's always such a strange and bittersweet feeling watching these kinds of films as a trans person. it's so weird to experience such a strong emotional connection to a community and the struggles they face, when you're not even technically 'part of' that community because the world doesn't see you as a qualifying member. for as long as i can remember i've felt this intense attachment to gay men; i've always known i was one of them in some kind of way but i'm not allowed to be. i spent most of my life being seen as a woman whether i liked it or not, so i've never been allowed to navigate the world as a man, let alone as a gay man. gay men don't see me and know we're the same. and in some ways we are exactly the same and in some ways we exist in entirely separate universes with no bridge between them. when i watch films about gay men and the struggles they face, part of me feels their pain like is my own. i feel it like i've known it myself. and in a way that's because i have, and because the struggles trans and gay people face or have faced at different points do come from the same place and feel the same way sometimes. but the fact is that i'm coming at this from a completely different angle and there are things unique to each of our experiences that the other will simply never understand. to most gay men i meet nowadays, i do pass as a gay man, so from their perspective there should be no disconnect. but for me i am being constantly reminded of the fact that i am just not part of the gay community in the way they are and there is nothing i can do to change it. it doesn't mean we don't belong in the same spaces and it doesn't mean we aren't fighting a lot of the same battles and sharing the same kind of human experience; but i have countless memories of talking to cis gay men and being in cis gay mens' spaces and feeling like i'm drowning in things i will simply never understand. when i watch these films and when i go to pride and when i talk to cis gay men it's this odd confusion of wanting to be one of them, knowing i am one of them, and knowing that at the same time i never will be. these kinds of films are always so hard for me because i do feel the pride and the euphoria and the pain that a lot of cis gay men no doubt will do, but on top of that i'm also feeling another separate layer of emotions that i can't even really explain properly, and it always leaves an odd taste on my tongue. i don't wish i was cis, but these things make my heart hurt in ways that go well beyond what the film itself is intending
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iniziare · 4 months
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Tag drop: Kafka
#kafka. [ we believe that existence has meaning; but that meaning is bestowed by ourselves. not by choices. ]#kafka: ic. [ like a spider in the center of her web. it has a thousand radiations; and she knows well every quiver of each of them. ]#kafka: inquiries. [ apologies for interrupting your little get-together. but I’m sure once you’ve heard my request; you’ll forgive me. ]#kafka: countenance. [ destiny has thousands of faces. why does it choose to wear this one? ]#kafka: introspection. [ it started with sincerity and anticipation followed by a passionate catharsis; with one climax after another. ]#kafka: meta. [ she must have sought something extraordinary. everything she does comes at a great cost. ]#kafka: wishes. [ if you wanna look for some fun. i won't stop you. i mean after all; elio didn't put it in the script; why would it matter?#kafka: etc. [ seems i came at a bad time. / no no; i think you couldn't have timed it better. 23:47:15. very punctual; kafka. ]#kafka: stellaron hunters. [ we all have our own individual goals. we may work together; but we work together for our own reasons. ]#kafka: astral express. [ in pursuit of the most dangerous objects in the universe? in that sense; you and i are cut from the same cloth. ]#kafka: conflict. [ looks like we're the ones getting ambushed. / but they're the ones getting besieged. ]#kafka: nessun dorma. [ da capo. fortississimo. capriccio. recitativo. doloroso. leggiero. ]#kafka: beauty. [ beautiful things have one thing in common: fragility. the more fragile; the rarer. maybe that's what makes it precious. ]#kafka: destiny. [ that's the nature of destiny; it creates a miracle but convinces you of an accident. ]#kafka: pteruges-v. [ it was one of many planets changed by a stellaron. it's a shame i never got to witness how far it fell at the time. ]#kafka: bladie. [ … her voice was very gentle. and even the monster inside his body stayed silent to listen to her. ]#kafka: bladie. [ i long for you; i who usually long without longing; really and utterly long for every bit of you. ] daybreakrising.#kafka: veritas ratio. [ i believe you have fallen victim to a misconception; doctor. who says it is elio who harbors an interest in you? ]#kafka: veritas ratio. [ does it smell of me; veritas? ] avaere.#kafka: caelus. [ i called out to you and you came. you had many choices; but everything led you here. to right here and right now. ]#kafka: caelus. [ everything that you love: you will eventually lose. but in the end; love will return in a different form. ] astrxlfinale.#kafka: elio. [ there's an empty space in my mind; my heart. changing that part of myself isn't something i can do alone. he can help me. ]#kafka: silver wolf. [ ignoring the rules is something she and i have in common. ]#kafka: sam. [ you should really stop playing with your food; kafka. / i know. next time. this time… it's already too late. ]#kafka: v. new babylon. [ i was a devil hunter. when people don't feel fear; they are dominated by desire; pleasure. they become “devils”. ]#kafka: v. present. [ we can only add one gold thread each time but eventually: we will pave the way for the future that is written. ]#kafka: v. future. [ the future is like a labyrinth: every divergence is merely an inducement. there is only one real path. ]#kafka: wishes. [ if you wanna look for some fun. i won't stop you. i mean elio didn't put it in the script; so why would it matter? ]#kafka: little notes. [ the mara's tether is in her grasp. she will not pull it before the designated time. nor shall she relinquish it. ]
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fairy-angel222 · 7 months
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𝐌𝐘 𝐁𝐎𝐘𝐅𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐍𝐃, 𝐒𝐀𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐔 𐙚˙⋆.˚ ᡣ𐭩
—a day with your favorite person on earth leads you to a fancy hotel for one weekend.. where you finally give yourself to your boyfriend, Gojo Satoru.
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content: college au, fluff, biker gojo, nerdy fem! reader, rich boy gojo (he spoils you bad bad), loving gojo, popular boy shy girl trope, smut, virginity loss, gentle sex, pussy eating, a lot of praise, petnames, reassurance
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Friday, marked the calendar on your phone. You stood outside your house swaying lightly on your feet as you waited for your boyfriend, Gojo Satoru. He refused to let you get to school any other way.
You were clad in a simple white sweater and a black skirt, which blew up at the gust of wind created from your boyfriend’s speeding bike. You smiled, fixing your glasses on your face before giving him a pretty smile.
The tall man getting off with a grin on his face. Shaking his hair back into place as he took off his black helmet. Gojo walked towards you to embrace you in a tight hug, his hands around your waist lifting you off of the ground making you giggle. “Hi baby.”
Gojo placed a short kiss to your lips, “Hello princess,” his eyes filled with adoration as he walked you to his bike with his hand still on your waist. Putting on the helmet he made you choose out before helping you onto the seat. “Hold on tight.”
You always enjoyed morning rides like this. The cool wind on your skin as Gojo maneuvered through countless vehicles. Always making sure to not go too fast for your sake.
Your hands rested on his abs from behind, your vision being blocked by his back which you didn’t mind one bit. Gojo turned to ensure that you were alright, something he did every morning. And although you kept telling him that you were fine, he insisted on keeping himself reassured.
You closed your eyes and took in a deep breath, your smile still on your face even as you approached campus. Your boyfriend quick to park in the spot that everyone knew belonged to him.
Girls gawked as Gojo removed his helmet, once again fixing the white fluff of hair on his head before he was getting off the bike. Helping you do the same and removing your helmet for you, pushing your glasses further up your face since they had began falling. “God you’re so beautiful.” Gojo breathed.
And your heart beat sped up as you looked down shyly. Compliments.. you still weren’t very used to those. Gojo’s fingers found their way under your chin to lift your head up, “You’re really cute when you’re flustered you know that?”
He intertwined his fingers into yours, “Plus, there’s no need to be shy around me princess.”
You could feel eyes burning into you as you walked with Gojo, burying your body into his side at all the stares. “Are they ever not gonna stare..” you mumbled, looking up at him as he looked down at you. “They’re just jealous my love, don’t worry.”
You nodded, lips pulled into a tight line at the girls sending dirty looks your way. This was university for goodness sakes.. were they ever going to grow up. Noticing your discomfort, Gojo scowled in the direction of the girls, “The fuck are you looking at?” Watching as their eyes widened before scrambling off.
It was no secret that your boyfriend was popular, every teacher and every student knew his name. He was kind, a little mean and protective when it came to you, but he really was kind to everybody.
You however, you were just a girl who was non existent until you started dating Gojo. How did you two start dating? No one could phantom it.
Sitting on one of the bleachers, you were deep in a book. Your lunch sitting uneaten next to as you scanned through the words on each page. It was a romance, which you usually didn’t read but this one was just.. interesting.
Losing track of the time, your eyes widened when you saw that you were minutes late to your lecture. Hurriedly scrambling up your belongings and making your way inside.
You internally cringed when you pushed open the double doors to your class. All heads turning to look at you while your professor simply ushered you to take a seat. He knew you were never late, so he was very understanding.
Taking a random seat, you were quick to pull out your books and highlighters to take notes. Concentratedly jotting down important points and details, using your middle finger to sit your black framed glasses higher onto the bridge of your nose.
“Mind sending me a picture of those later today? I forgot my materials at home.” a familiar face smiled innocently, his bag hidden near his feet as he waited for an answer.
Gojo Satoru. A name that you obviously knew. He was extremely handsome up close, and his cologne smelt great. And he.. was talking to you? You tried your hardest to act neutral when you focused your attention onto him. “Oh, uh sure. No problem.”
“Great, let me put my number in your phone so you can text it to me yeah?”
You nodded, handing him the device and watching as he typed his number in. Saving it as Satoru. With a heart.
He finished just in time for the lecture to end. Slinging his bag over his shoulder with a wink, “Thanks princess.”
Ever since that interaction the only thing on Gojo’s mind was you. He began texting you for every little thing and talking to you every day. You guys became somewhat of friends.
Then he was holding your hands all day, saying that they were so much smaller and softer than his. Or wrapping his hand around your waist when you two walked. He told his friend Suguru about you, and though at the time you did not know the other male who attended a different school, you’d assumed he was a pretty great person.
Whispers started to float around the school about your relationship. None of which Gojo ever shut down despite knowing he had the ability to.
You and Gojo made it official after he took you on multiple dates disguised as hangouts. And you couldn’t even deny it, you had already started to fall for him by then. So when he pressed his lips to yours, pulling you impossibly closer to him with his hands on your waist. You melted. That was your first kiss, and it was perfect.
There should not have been a difference in Gojo’s behavior considering he treated you like his girlfriend from the get go. But he somehow proved that statement wrong. He was the best thing anyone could ever ask for. And he was most certainly the best thing that happened to you.
He got you used to early morning and late night bike rides. To the point where you began to love them just as much. You two were polar opposites, but he made it work.
One thing you never got used to, were the never ending stares and whispers directed your way. Even though Gojo was always there to put the person or people in their place.
You loved Gojo Satoru, and Gojo Satoru loved you.
The day went by very quickly, you snd Gojo did not share any classes. But you spent every minute in between together. Especially since you both had only morning classes.
Gojo smiled as you two walked towards each other. Happy that he would be able to spend the rest of the day together. Until..
“Hi Satoru!” she smiled sweetly, purposely blocking his movements when he tried to walk past. You bit your lips as you watched the scene, not finding it in you to tell her off.
Gojo sighed in annoyance, “What the fuck do you want.” his voice was stern, she had been bothering him for over a year now, and it only got worse when he started dating you.
She tilted her head, twirling a strand of hair around her finger. “Oh you know.. just wanted to say that if you ever got tired of that ugly slut of a nerd i’ll be right—“
Her high pitched voice was cut off by Gojo holding her roughly by her neck. Something that was way out of character for him. He was just so sick and fucking tired of people talking about you like you weren’t a person. His person.
Backing her roughly into the lockers, Gojo voice was low and aggressive, “If you ever fucking talk about my girl like that again, i swear i’ll fucking-“
“Gojo..” you called out, the man’s eyes softening when he caught sight of you. “It’s fine, let’s just go.. please?”
Gojo nodded, giving the girl another dirty look, “I'd pick her over your ass any day.” Letting go of her and walking in your direction. The girl glaring at you before she stomped away.
Gojo’s hand was in yours once more, your head on his side as you two made your way out of the building. Gojo sighed, “I’m sorry love, got a little pissed off there.”
You smiled, “No, don’t be. I’m.. i’m glad you care so much.”
“Of course i care, you’re my girl and i love you.”
Your heart fluttered, “I love you too.” And you truly meant it.
Gojo got onto his bike after helping you on, both your helmets on your heads with your hands around his waist. Making sure you were secured before taking off. Except it was in the completely opposite direction from your house.
“Baby, where are we going?” you asked curiously.
Gojo only grinned cheekily, “You’ll see.”
You trusted him. Enjoying the ride to wherever he was bringing you. Watching as day turned into night from the long ride.
Your eyes widened when Gojo pulled over at some fancy hotel. His smile never faltering as he got off.
“Annnnnd we’re here.” he spoke, looking intently at your reaction.
“Baby why are we here?” you questioned curiously, still marveling over the beautiful tall structure.
“Giving you a weekend off of school, of course. Gotta take your mind away from all that work somehow.”
You were speechless, “Satoru, you really didn’t have to.” Gojo’s hands grabbed your face softly, tears welling in your eyes at the him going this far for you. Especially when one night alone was almost 400 dollars.
“Hey, look at me. I’m more than happy to do this for you.” He reassured, pressing his lips softly onto yours before chuckling, “Plus, when life gives you this much money, spend it on the person you love the most.”
“B-but i don’t have any clothes,”
“I’m taking you shopping tomorrow.”
Gojo lead you through the grand doors of the building, giving his keys to the valet on his way in. Making your way to front desk, you glanced nervously around you. Everything was white and gold, and you gelt so out of place with the clothes you had on.
“Satoru Gojo.” Your boyfriend nodded to the receptionist who smiled knowingly when she handed him the keys. “Enjoy.”
You waited in anticipation for Gojo to open the door. Your jaw dropping when you took sight of the rose petals making a walkway to the room’s bed. Which had the words ‘I love you’ in a heart spelt out from petals.
There were rose scented candles near the bed, but what really caught your attention was the mini backyard the room seemed to have. “Satoru.. you didn’t.”
He hummed, “Oh yes i did,” leading you outside to a large blanket set up. Candles surrounding it with roses scattered all over. A small picnic basket and a bottle of wine in the center as the moonlight shone down of the most beautiful gift you had ever received.
You wanted to burst into tears. It was so perfect, turning to Gojo with a trembling lip before embracing him in a tight hug. “I don’t even know what to s-say.. it’s so beautiful. I-“ you sniffled, “words cannot even begin to express how happy i feel right now. I love it. And i love you even more.”
Gojo smiled, wiping your tears with the pads of his thumb. “Anything for you love. Anything.”
After freshening up, you wore your boyfriend’s oversized sweater, giggling softly when he extended a hand. “Join me for dinner m’ lady?”
“I’d be delighted to.”
You sat next to each other on the wide blanket. Gojo opening the basket to reveal all your favorite foods and deserts. Your eyes practically sparkling under your lenses at the countless options.
You both dug in not long after, laughing with each other as Gojo messily attempted to feed you a slice of cheesecake. The cherry sauce staining the tip of your nose, and you yelped when Gojo licked it off.
It was amazing, you felt at peace. Especially as you two finished eating, each drinking a glass of wine before laying together. Watching the stars with satisfied hearts as you cuddled into your boyfriend. His arm around you as he held you almost on top his chest. Your legs tangled with his long ones as you matched your breaths to his.
Gojo couldn’t help it when your scent alone started to drive him crazy. The feeling of you on him, your skin on his. It was getting to him.
You could feel his cock growing hard underneath you, poking at your flesh making you heat up. Unsure of what to do, you ended up shifting on top of him. The man letting out a groan before holding you still. “Might not wanna move like that love.”
You playing with his shirt as you contemplated what to say next. You were a virgin, but.. you were ready to give it away, to him.
“Satoru.. I um.. I want.. I want you to f-fuck me.” You stuttered out. And Gojo’s eyes widened at the way you worded it. Fuck, huh? You wanted him to fuck you.
“Love, don’t think that you have to do this because you can feel me hard.” he started, “it’ll go away soon, you don’t have to worry.”
You shook your head stubbornly. “No, I.. I want it, want to do it with you tonight. Please.”
Gojo swallowed hard, his boner straining painfully in his pants. “Are you sure princess?”
“Mhm, i’m ready.”
Gojo smiled, pressing another soft kiss to your lips before he was gently turning you onto your back. The stars seemingly only shining down on you in that moment. “You’re so perfect.” he whispered, his eyes stuck on yours as he peeled the sweater off your body.
Finally breaking eye contact to kiss down your neck and onto your chest. Allowing his tongue to swirl around your pert nipple before kissing his way down your stomach. “Whole body’s so perfect.” he spoke against your skin. And you whimpered when he pulled your panties off. “Fucking beautiful.”
Gojo kissed down the smooth skin, kissing your clit which made you shiver, his tongue licking a teasing stripe on the small bud. Gojo continued his way down, kissing both your folds before his tongue made contact with your wetness. He groaned. “You taste so sweet love.”
Your breathing sled up before he could even start anything. Bringing himself up and stripping out of his own clothes. The moon shining onto his back as he hovered over you. His blue eyes bright and beautiful while lining up with your hole.
“You sure about this princess?”
You whined, “Just do it.”
Gojo chuckled, taking your hand in his before slowly pushing into you inch by inch. “It’s gonna sting a little,” he said right before you winced, feeling your tightness stretching to accommodate his girth. “That’s it.. there we go.. good girl.” Gojo soothed.
You let out a moan, a pleasurable sensation raking through your body when his cock grazed something inside of you. Gojo smirked when he got all of his length in you, your pussy tight on his stilled cock. “Tell me when to move okay?”
You wasted no time, wanting that amazing sensation back. “You can move.”
Gojo abided, slowly easing you into the feeling of him thrusting in and out of you. Your lips parting in loud mewls when he gained speed.
“O-oh Satoru, f-feels good.”
Gojo grinned, his pace gaining more speed with each passing second. Rolling his hips into yours until you were moaning uncontrollably. Feeling your boyfriend’s cock fucking into that same spot before making its way deeper.
Your hands reached up for your boyfriend’s hair. Tugging lightly at white strands with short whimpers which matched his thrusts.
Gojo grunted, “You like that?”
You nodded with a shaky cry, your stomach pooling with heat as your body was rocked back and forth. “Ahh— Satoru.” you mewled, Gojo’s mouth latching onto your breasts with a groan, sucking and licking at one while his hand squeezed the other.
Gojo began kissing up your neck. Littering your skin with small love bites as he made his way to your chin. Kissing your cheeks, your forehead, then finally your lips. Capturing all your cute noises while his hand moved down to your clit.
Your back arched with a cry when Gojo began rubbing small circles. Your toes curling with your moans becoming high pitched loud.
“Nnhg— haah— so g-ood,” you breathed, your eyes closing as your body began to tremble. An unfamiliar coil feeling ready to snap.
“Look at me when you cum.” Gojo husked, watching as you look up at him through your lashes. Your hips arching into his hand before you were involuntarily shaking. Your pussy clenching down on him with a short scream.
“There you go beautiful, let it all out.” he cooed, your pretty pussy gushing messily onto him
“Nngh— feels weird,” you mewled, your legs threatening to close around your boyfriend.
“Just let it happen, it’s gonna feel great. I promise.”
You took Gojo’s word, allowing the newfound feeling to wash over your body before your eyes rolled back, squirting harshly onto Gojo’s cock and thighs.
Gojo could feel his ego swell, “I made you squirt princess. My first time in you and i made you squirt.” he boasted, a lazy smile gracing his features as his thrusts got sloppy. Your moans never ceasing as he got closer to his release.
Gojo groaned, “Hmm— i love you so much. Love so you fucking much.” Burying his head in your neck as his abs tensed, quickly pulling out of you to spill onto your stomach. Your chest rising and falling in soft pants as you both came down from your highs.
You smiled shyly, “That was amazing.”
Gojo tilted his head, “Was it now?” Pressing a kiss to your lips, “I’m glad.”
Gojo took you back inside, running you a bath before settling in the tub with you in between his legs. His chin on your shoulder as he let you relax while he cleaned you up.
The weekend went great. He took you shopping, you ate a delicious breakfast, lunch and dinner. Visited the many pools and buffets. And had sex. Twice. It was better than anything you could ask for. And you wouldn’t give it up for the world.
No school, no ‘friends’, no bothers, no worries. Just you and Satoru. Exactly how it will always be.
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MAYA, I MANIFESTED MY DREAM LIFE!!!!
Okay, I don't know if you remember me, but I participated in a lot of your challenges and the Pink’s challenge, and I found some success! I shifted to my wr and manifested some things, but I could never do it consistently, and it was really fucking annoying.
So, I took three months off and worked hard, using subliminals every day and going on affirmation rampages. I was doing lucid dreaming methods, SATs, meditations, yoga nidra, reading spiritual books literally my whole summer was dedicated to shifting and the void state. I was eat sleeping and breathing it because I could not continue to live the way I was even I can even consider that living …
So What did I do
I just followed your challenge because college was starting, and I couldn't go back to school without my dream life for the fourth time, fearing I might actually harm myself. So played the fields with this rampage (together in two different tabs).
During the Day
https://youtu.be/aLsn6ZK4RZ8?si=Dt_j7ChLjNsQ6tpV
https://youtu.be/gBD4Owz1GC0?si=icOkN1DoFsqP-adT
During the day, I would live in the end. I created albums for my desired realities, re-read my scripts, revised my void list because I genuinely believed I was going to succeed, watched supercell shifting videos on YouTube, and stared at my vision board, realizing it was going to be my life the next day, and more!
Overnight
https://youtu.be/JwV297pP9aw?si=Sxx-xlhE_owInoxH
https://youtu.be/DKB5I9y8SEg?si=PI-UaNw2m_VUWYy1
What I Manifested
- Master shifting abilities
- Master void state abilities
- Having my WR to be a perfect heaven
- Making this current reality a dream: desired looks, desired body, never gaining weight, revised wealth and family, dream friend group, a social media following, being worshipped and respected, being so beautiful by my own standards, dream home (I have a mountain range that goes through my backyard and a farm on my land, it’s enormous), revised city, only attracting wealthy, tall, attractive men, pretty privilege, 145 IQ, going to an Ivy League, getting rid of my anxiety and depression, getting rid of my health issues, no toxic family, so much money, and revised my name to Bella because I love Bella Hadid (my old name was Audrey), and so much more.
I know it sounds nothing too crazy compared to other people who manifest powers and trillions of dollars, but I can shift anytime I want. I’m going to my singing desired reality and high school musical Dr soon and I am so excited I have hundreds of places to explore. My life here finally has stability, and I’m so happy. Not waking up with stress, nausea, and diarrhea is a blessing. My house is clean, my family members aren’t fighting and calling me names, my siblings and I are close. I audibly gasp anytime I see myself in the mirror. My phone is always blowing up with people asking me for plans when it used to be dry as hell, and people forgot I even existed. Everywhere I go, people tell me I should model, want to pay for what I’m buying, are so kind, open doors for me, want to help me for no reason, give me discounts, ask me on dates… I’m so happy and confused. I don’t know how to feel. I am genuinely so loved and respected, and on top of that, I get to explore the universe of my favorite shows and movies.
I’m so glad I never gave up, even though these three months were hard and my life had gotten worse, I am finally free, my hard work paid off, and I hope everyone else will do the same. We truly are God! I was afraid this community was some big joke and big bloggers were creative writers or just laughing at delusional people like me, but I can confirm it’s very, very real.
My love I am so proud of you ! And yes I vaguely remember you and your first shift you messaged me about :)!
I am happy your hard work paid off as well. I remember when everything seemed so meaningless and delusional as well and I also thought shifting was some big joke to target mentally ill teens, but the reality is we truly are all god and no amount of doubt and struggle will ever change that truth. I hope you enjoy your dream life, and I am happy I could help 💖
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cordeliawhohung · 4 months
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Thoroughfare
interwoven; maledicted || ao3
Simon "Ghost" Riley x fem!Reader
Undone fibers and tissue — you are Simon’s magnum opus. The greatest mess he’s ever created.
cw: fucked up soulmate!au, dub-con, smut, alcohol, forced breeding kink, dacryphilia, implied kidnapping, implied baby trapping, simon is a little insane, bound by dreams and memories trope, reader is hyperfeminine
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In his dreams, Simon rips you apart with bare hands and teeth.
Sinew and fibers undone, iron on his lips, flesh filling the chasm of his belly. Fingernails grow short and bloodied as he delicately picks apart every inch of you that the universe reveals to him. Easy as tearing through wrapping paper. You are a gift. The only glimpse of light that can make it through the depths; the suffocating layers of earth and soil he’s buried under. 
At first, he is convinced you are just like any other dream. A figment of his imagination. You appear after he kills Roba, with his skin still slick with the viscera of the men he had slaughtered in the name of revenge. A fine thing to look at. Soft — softer than him — with untainted eyes. A gaze not stained by death and horror. His first dream of you is the first time in a long while that he sleeps through the night without a nightmare. Domestic. You smile and laugh for the entire dream. Gentle. An angel. 
It is not your only appearance. Somehow, Simon is lucky enough to be blessed with weekly dreams of you, if not more. He dreams of warm tea, and hands smaller than his wrapping around a cup. He dreams of bright smiles and flowing dresses. Of liquor sweeter than he’d ever order. A chaste kiss with a stranger. Expert fingers typing at an office keyboard. A scraped knee from missing the landing to your apartment. 
You have become his only solace in a world that wants nothing more than to smother him. Crush him and grind him up until there’s nothing left of him — a red paste to feed the worms. For once, he gets to look at the world and enjoy it in ignorance, just as you do. Soak up the beauty of it without glancing over his shoulder. Smell the roses and not worry about pricking his fingers. He sleeps, so he can dream of you; his strange little visitor. 
It isn’t until a few years after your sneaky arrival into his mind that he entertains the fact that you exist in the conscious plane. Something living and breathing. A tangible being. This revelation invades his mind when he dreams of you in front of your vanity, skin clean and fresh from the shower that still wets your skin. A perfect canvas for the makeup you paint yourself with when you go out with friends. 
If he were conscious, his pupils would swallow his irises at the way the wand of your gloss drags across your lips. His thumb would twitch, wanting to replace it, to feel your breath against his skin. Warm him up until he melts. A dripping mess to pool on the floor and ruin that lovely, pristine blouse. 
Goosebumps ripple over your exposed skin halfway through your routine, and you freeze, fingers still gripping your applicator. The features in your face harden — growing cold as if you’ve seen a ghost — before relaxing as your eyes find yourself in the mirror. Your lips press together, then split open to speak. 
“Do you dream of me too, Simon?” 
He wakes with a start. Thick sweat coating his bare chest, scars angry and searing, heart throbbing against his ribs. It’s impossible to tell if it’s fear or infatuation that has his blood singing the way it is, reverberating through tight veins and arteries like a gushing river. He doesn’t care to attempt to differentiate the two feelings. In his mind, they’re both the same; they both feel like impending death. Instead, he keeps his eyes glued on the cigarette-yellowed ceiling above him as he tries to recall the way your lips moved when you said his name. 
There is not a religious or superstitious bone in Simon’s body. He has seen the brutal truth that if there is some superior power holding the cards, they certainly haven’t cared enough to lend him a hand. But he believes in you. In your existence. He believes there is a heat that dwells underneath your skin that will sear away everything that ails him. A softness to you that counteracts his puffy scars and calloused hands. A sweetness that he wants to siphon out of you and devour whole. 
All he has to do is find you. 
It’s an impossible task when he’s usually on the other side of the planet. Heavy gunpowder, disgusting residue, the recoil of his 1911 in the palm of his hand. Simon is the antithesis of you. Sharp where you are gentle, bitter where you are sweet. He thinks that’s why he’s so drawn to you, polar opposites pulling to one another until they crash and burn; superheated sugar melting and blazing through his skin until all he can think about is the pain and you. 
Your voice speaking his name rings loud and clear on his ears as he drags himself through the threshold of his flat. He wonders if you would say his name in real life just as sweetly as you did in his dream. Dead on his feet, he hasn’t slept in a proper bed in weeks, and the plush mattress almost feels foreign against the ache in his back. Usually he knows better than to try and sleep fresh off of deployment. High anxiety and fried nerves force him to toss and turn for a majority of the night, reliving the feeling of gore soaking the threads of his uniform and gloves. 
Countless weeks of long nights have meant there’s been no time for him to sleep, and if he can’t sleep, then he can’t see you. Whether you know it or not, you’ve become his anchor. His gift. The one thing he can focus on that brings him pleasure instead of pain. So he forces his eyes shut and —
He hates what he sees. 
Fresh, unclaimed skin glistening in the faint lighting of a stranger's room — your skin, that soft and beautiful flesh he dreams of every night — you’re in perfect view of a man he doesn’t recognize. Synthetically sweet moans pour from your lips as this stranger — this son of a bitch, this bastard — lazily pumps his cock into you. Even in his unconscious state, Simon can feel the unbridled rage ignite in his chest, flames licking up the cells of his heart until it’s nothing but embers and charcoal. 
Who the hell is fucking his girl? 
Even from an outsider's perspective, he can tell the sex is terrible. Knees bent awkwardly, heels in the mattress as you lay on your back, hands pawing at your own tits for some sort of stimulation as this man fucks you with the slowest speed Simon has ever seen in his life. There’s no friction. No build up of pressure to get you to keen and whine. Your moans born of pity quickly drown in your flings own euphoria as he whines, cock half buried in your cunt. 
He’s finished already.
An unsatisfied but cleverly covered moan leaves your lips as your fling carefully holds onto the condom as he pulls out of you, being courteous enough to not spill. (It’s the least he can do, saying as how he obviously couldn’t make you come). He quickly ties it off, having already caught his breath (he hadn’t worked that hard anyway. Not nearly as hard as you deserve) before he smiles at you with a sigh.
Then there’s the awkward conversation. A terminal lack of chemistry. Polite laughter and reassurances fall from your lips, rehearsed so well it’s almost painful. Too thoughtful for your own good for someone who couldn’t even consider you in such an intimate exchange. A smile swells in the apples of your cheeks as your partner excuses himself to shower, to rid himself of any evidence of you on his body, like he refuses to bask in what little glory he was able to pull out of you. 
Metal squeaks, and the water heater sputters to life. You lie alone in that bed, half spun, yearning to grow tighter. Simon should have seen it coming — your hands slipping between your legs. It’s only natural for the pads of your fingers to dip and toy with the furious, worked up flesh of your clit. There is nothing leisure about it. No teasing yourself — no, everything you do is expertly done. 
Now, it’s an actual task to keep quiet, to not moan and groan as you fuck yourself open on the three fingers you hastily shove inside of yourself while your other hand works at your clit. You’re a better solo performer than you were with that stranger — that motherfucker, that transgressor — and it doesn’t take long at all before your eyes are fluttering shut. The steady rise and fall of your chest heaves with your breaths as you pulse and writhe around your own fingers. You stay like that for as long as you’re willing to risk until you quickly wipe the lingering wetness on your fingers into your thighs before —
Simon stirs, cock painfully hard, straining against his boxers, throbbing. It’s normal for him to sweat when he wakes up from dreams, but not like this. Sticky, thick, heavy; his want taints him to the point of ruin. Seeps from his pores where it soaks into his bedsheets. He grunts as he props his body up on his pillows, heedy desire too heavy on his body. 
There is not a single speck of shame to be found inside his conscience as he yanks the band of his boxers past the crest of his hips. He wastes no time wrapping his hand around himself, blood pulsing through the veins of his cock, searing his hand with each stroke. Unlike you, with your desperate, quick fingers and unrestrained desire to get yourself off, Simon teases himself. Thumbs over the raging nerves in the head of his cock, lazily bucks into his own hand, squeezes just as hard as he thinks your cunt would. 
You. You. Christ, you’re all he can think about. All he dreams about. Haunting him like the grass stains on his uniform or the echo of a gunshot in a small room. Deafening. All consuming. 
It’s only fair that he consumes you back. 
He imagines what it would be like to undo you. Watch your eyes glaze over until you’re nothing but a content, mindless thing. He wonders if you’d cry trying to take his cock for the first time. There’s a certain girth to him that your lover certainly doesn’t have, and he thinks he’d enjoy the brine of your tears. Salty. The only thing on you that isn’t sickeningly sweet. Something that can match his abrasiveness. 
“I dream of ya. All the fuckin’ time,” Simon hisses. Fatigue coats his vocal chords with thick gravel, rumbling deep in his chest as he groans. Glossy lips around his cock, hands rubbing at the length of him that you can’t reach — he craves it. Imagines it so vividly he can almost taste the sex in the air of his stale, hardly lived-in bedroom. “Dream of you fuckin’ other men. Dream of how I could do it better. You’d like that, yeah?” 
Umber eyes peer through the darkness and land on the vague, fuzzy outline of his body. Wide hips, meaty hands, pulsing cock — he hopes you’ll be able to see it when you sleep. He wants you to wake up with that same burning want that you’ve bequeathed to him. 
“Sweet thing, so soft, arent’cha? I know you. Know what you need. Sweet girls like you always need it rough. Yeah, you’d like that, wouldn’t you? I’ll get you askin’ for it. Have you on your goddamn knees beggin’ for me.” 
Simon doesn’t make a show of it when he comes. There’s no need to overperform for you. He just makes sure to take in every detail. The steady dribble of cum that slides down his cock into the unruly hair at the base, the angry protruding veins, his own hitched breath and panting. He stares, and stares, and stares until he starts to go soft. 
“Hope you dream of this tonight, sweetheart,” he purrs. 
That’s the only name he calls you by. Sweetheart. Whispers it to the void in the morning when he pulls himself out of bed just before dawn. Asks if his scars turn you on as he lazily shaves his face in the mirror. Mutters wish me luck, sweetheart with a gun in hand, and the sound of roaring plane engines drowning his voice out. 
You leave him treats. Luring a dog with a still wet bone. Twirling in the mirror in cute outfits he craves to tear through with a knife. Popping your lips in the mirror after applying a fresh layer of gloss. Your fingers in your cunt after another failed hookup.
He kills a mercenary in Mexico and wonders if the shade of his blood would look good on your lips. Wants that same shade to stain the base of his cock in smeared lipstick and spit. He sees the bright, piercing pink of brain matter and he thinks about your tongue — what it would look like lulling out of your mouth as you moan. Simon expertly weaves the destructive nature of his hands with your delicate existence until you are nothing but a corrupted glitch in his mind. His cherished gift he can’t help but ruin because it’s the only thing he knows how to do. 
There are some nights when mere thoughts and dreams of you alone aren’t enough to quell the tempest that makes his hands itch with the urge to shred and devour. It’s an easy affliction to satiate on the field when he’s got a knife in his hand. It’s significantly harder when he’s on his third week on leave and he hasn’t heard the death rattle of an enemy — his favorite song. While you are mouthwatering, you aren’t quite tangible enough to pick apart the way his fingers yearn to do so, so he wanders to someplace a bit more stimulating. 
Terminus. The end of the line. He always finds his way back to this bar one way or another. Never to drink, oddly enough. There’s always going to be the rough parts of him he refuses to uncover; the rigid scars on his skin, and the sharpness of his teeth. A thick balaclava always covers anything that would give him away as the blood thirsty devil he so desperately attempts to suppress. No, he never goes to Terminus to order a pint and sit in some dark, sour corner of the building while all other patrons crowd around the dart boards or billiard tables. Simon goes to Terminus because it’s a close walk from his rental, and they sell Kentucky bourbon by the bottle.
A heavy wave of heat hits him as soon as he enters the building, but he doesn’t even stumble as he makes a beeline for the counter. Friday night brings a thick crowd with bodies that pulse and dance to their own tunes as liquor courses through their body and rids them of all the pain and filth of the week. He’s waiting for longer than usual as the bartender — a man who Simon reckons is about as old as the establishment itself — zips between customers as they stumble along and order more poison to cure their pain. Normally, he doesn’t show up on a weekend; he knows better than that, but he’s drowning in a special kind of storm tonight.
Simon is a patient man. He has to be, with his line of work. Relentless in his endeavor to beat his enemy to the mark. Yet, even a man as stoic and persevering as Simon gets antsy when his back is towards the entrance. Door swinging open and closed, allowing the slightest summer breeze to waft through the tight room. The urge to glance over his shoulder and assess every inch of that room haunts him, but he ignores the itch underneath his skin. 
Instead, he focuses on the sounds. The idle chatter of guests as they slip throughout the room, crawling over the establishment like insects. Thick wood splintering as tiny needles drive tip first into the dart board to his left. Laughter and heavy accents, shitty jokes, clinking glass, hoppy beer, body odor, dense nicotine —
A giggle. 
Simon Riley never freezes, but he does the first time his ears are graced with your voice outside of his dreams. He’s in limbo. A terrible purgatory that makes his ears ring as his dark eyes scan the bar with the skill of a bloodthirsty dog. Deadly. Efficient. Your blood sings to him, and he follows the song until he finds you leaning against the wooden wall next to a billiards table. You’re watching some nameless freaks play a game as you sip on some fruity drink through a straw. 
Dark, mid-rise jeans sit satisfyingly low on your hips, and the flesh on your stomach is poorly covered by a thin tank top that doesn’t want to roll past your ribcage. You’re melting, sugar sweet sweat coating your chest, caramelizing deliciously on your skin. Cute, dainty, dull, teeth flash as you giggle again, laughing as some poor sod misses an easy pocket. 
He wants to run his tongue along your neck, lick up that nectar glinting in the dim lights before ruining you. Fingers twitch in time with his pulse as his heart beats harder now than it ever has in any other moment — if he doesn’t move soon, it’ll rip free from his chest and run off without him. 
He didn’t even have to track you down. Like a true gift, you fell right into his lap. 
“The usual?” 
The ancient bar hand grabs Simon’s attention and pulls him back to earth with a swift yank on his leash. Sharp eyes shoot back at him — seemingly annoyed he was pulled out of his daydream — before they soften and he huffs. The man looks impatient, irritated that he’s taking up his valuable time during such a busy night. 
“Bourbon. Angel’s Envy. Neat,” he responds. 
Bewildered, the bartender shrugs as he slinks off to get Simon’s drink, and the moment the glass is in his hand he tosses a few quid on the counter before stalking off into the crowd. He approaches you from the side, though he’s certain you wouldn’t notice him if he came from a more direct route. He waits for everyone to crowd the table, waits for you to be shoved to the back, content against the wall, drink in hand — ripe for the picking. 
You don’t flinch when his hand wraps around your waist, thick pads of his fingers digging into the tender flesh of your waist. He wants to grin at that fact — like you already know that you belong to him — but he doesn’t. Cold. Collected. You look up at him with glinting eyes that quickly grow wide with recognition. The beginning of his name forms on your glossy lips, but doesn’t quite roll off of your tongue. 
“Been lookin’ for you everywhere, sweetheart,” he says, voice a harsh whisper. 
Your eyes flutter, enticing and sweet, like you’re trying to blink sand from your eyes. “I… I didn’t think you actually existed,” you admit. 
He raises a brow, and it dances underneath his mask in a challenge. “Yeah? Is that why you asked if I dreamed of you, too? Were just takin’ the piss outta me?” 
“No- well, I mean… I had a feeling. That you existed,” you say, laugh hissing between your teeth as your gaze drops. 
Melting already, and he’s hardly got his hands on you. 
Amber liquid swirls in the glass in Simon’s hand as he holds it out for you to take. You look at it with cautious eyes, teeth sinking into your lip before you look back at him. 
“This is… this is insane, isn’t it? I mean, you’re real. And I’m real.” You swallow thickly, skin heating as his thumb slides underneath the hem of your tank top. “So everything I saw… was real? Your work, you- you’re in the military? You’ve seen me at my most… open. I’ve watched you… you know… And, uhm… I don’t know what…”
He smirks, breath pushing out of his lungs, fanning across your face even through the fabric of his balaclava. “I told you, didn’t I? I know you. I know what you need, sweetheart.” 
You have no time to answer before he’s raising the glass of bourbon up to your lips, and there’s no choice but to drink. Simon tips the glass, and you let the liquor wash over your tongue. He chuckles at the face you make — it’s too brash for something as sweet as you — yet you swallow every last drop. A thin bead sits on your bottom lip, threatening to dribble down your chin, and he uses the knuckle of his index finger to wipe it clean. 
“I know what you need, and you know what I want,” he continues, head tilting to the side — a predator sizing up his prey. “Let’s not draw this out any longer, yeah?”
Once the door of Simon’s apartment is shut and locked behind him, he’s got your back against the wall. Exposed flesh of your arms pinned beside your head, moans muffled by his lips on yours. Despite the bourbon, he can still taste the mixed drink you were nursing before; syrupy sweet. So fitting. His fingers release your hands before they’re ghosting down the center of your chest, tracing your sternum with professional precision. If he presses any harder, he’ll tear through skin and bone, sink into your blood, into the muscle of your heart, fresh ichor coating his hand with a delicious treat. 
Instead, he yanks your tank top up to your collar bones before pulling down the hem of your bra. Your tits fall free with a gasp from your heaving lungs, and he sinks his teeth into his prize. Bite after bite. Sweet as a peach, just like he knew you would be, and you bruise just as easily as one too. You whimper as he marks you, sharp canines staking claim with pressure harsh enough to draw blood. If it’s too much for you, you don’t say anything. 
You try to return the favor. Palm of your hands pressed against the firm, thick muscle of his chest, pawing at him, trying to feel him through his clothes. You’re not intimidated by the scars that paint his skin, or the roughness of his character. He’s always been like this for as long as you’ve known him, and you’re very familiar with Simon Riley. 
So you trust him completely as he yanks you down the entryway and toward the kitchen. It’s implicit. In your nature. Soft, pliable. Bending. And it’s in his nature. Rough. Demanding. Forceful — your lower back collides with the counter where Simon usually prepares his meals, and he’s aggressive when he unzips your jeans and pushes them past your hips. 
“You’ve been dreaming of this too. I know you have.” Simon grunts as he turns you around, hip bones pressing against the unforgiving countertop as his clothed cock grinds against your bare ass. You try not to wince at the sting of the corner cutting into your thin skin. “Every night. Been watchin’ me just as long as I’ve been watchin’ you. My gift. My sweet fuckin’ angel.” 
Though he assured you that he would have you on your knees begging for him, Simon doesn’t have the time to waste. He crouches down, face level with your ass as he spreads the meat of your thighs apart as far as they’ll go with your jeans restricting your knees. There’s no hesitation as he dives in, tongue lapping at your hole, saliva mixing with your wetness. Muscles tense, throat constricts, and heat courses as you bend forward, elbows resting on the counter to give him better access. 
Searing heat builds in your cunt as his tongue explores around your clit. It’s messy, hardly put together. Like a dog that can’t keep the food in his mouth as he’s chewing.
He wants to stay there forever, lapping at you like the bad dog he is, but he can’t. There’s an incessant pressure building inside of him, broiling, threatening to melt you in the very palm of his hands if he’s not quick. So he pulls away, still aching for you, and spits a thick glob of saliva on you for good measure before standing tall behind you. 
Metal grinds together as he unzips his jeans, and your own ears perk up at the sound. “Do you have protection?” you pant. “I’ve got a few rubbers in my bag if- hey- Simon!” 
Flesh burns and stretches as Simon bullies himself into you. It steals the air from your lungs as he presses, and presses, and presses, until there’s nothing left of him that you haven’t swallowed whole. It’s easy. Slick. He forces you open, giving you no choice but to give in. A strained whine leaves your lips as he rocks his hips, thick cock splitting you apart, legs too restricted to even give him more room inside of you. 
“Don’t worry ‘bout that,” he grunts, hands pulling you back against his chest by your shoulders. “We already confirmed, I know what you need, and you know what I want, yeah?” 
Your mind blanks the moment his thrusts bear weight. So full, then void, and then spilling. It racks your nerves, renders them fuzzy, bogged down with too much syrup that you can’t move fast enough through the stickiness to connect the dots. Gooey. Soft like taffy. You stretch and pull for him as his relentless pace renders you as a puddle in his hands. 
You know what I want. 
You know what you need. A good fuck. That’s why you’re here to begin with, isn’t it? To make love to the man who’s been haunting your dreams with gore and violence. To fall into the gravity of him that you couldn’t escape even if you tried. You thought you knew what he wanted. Same as you. To fuck the girl who’s been giving him a toothache from the sweetness of her voice. But now? As he’s grunting in your ear, hands pawing at your tits, fingers gripping your throat? 
Now, you’re not so sure. 
Still, the pleasure rips through you with a demanding ache you can’t ignore. So needy and worked up from the neglect of your failed love life and array of shitty partners, he feels you start to unwind. Melt and separate as your moans fall free — pleasant and the only filling thing he’s had in his entire life. Your face contorts from the intensity of it all, diaphragm spasming as you hiccup and cry, fresh and hot tears streaming down your face. 
Simon coos and coddles, fingers reaching for your jaw as he turns your face to the side. Hot breath tickles the fresh streaks on your cheeks as he chuckles, patronizing. 
“Cryin’ sweetheart?” he asks; a question he already knows the answer to. 
His tongue lies flat against your skin as you whimper, and he licks your tears like it’s fresh bourbon from the cask. He prepares himself for the salt, the addicting brine, but it doesn’t hit him. Even as you’re being torn apart, flesh pinched free from bone in his hands, you’re just as sweet as you always are. 
“S-Simon, please,” you babble, face trying to wrench free from his tongue. 
“Is there a damn thing on you that doesn’t taste this good? You’re a fuckin’ mess and still… could live off of you forever,” he promises into the raw skin of your cheek. 
There’s a few more minutes of nonstop, demanding thrusts from Simon before the pressure snaps and floods around you. You come with a sob, eyes screwing shut as his cock continues its assault — that demanding rhythm that saps you for everything you’re worth. Liquid. Mush. Bone with the marrow sucked free. Undone fibers and tissue — you are Simon’s magnum opus. The greatest mess he’s ever created. 
He finishes not too long after you in a fury of thrusts and a growl you can feel rumbling in his chest. It leaves you raw. Muscles tingling and dancing underneath your skin. Body spent. Eyes blurring with tears. He keeps himself plugged inside of you, grip slowly becoming loose as he trails kisses along the side of your neck — like he only acknowledges how fragile you are after he’s done breaking you. 
“Sweet angel,” he whispers, cock twitching inside of you as he speaks. “Let’s clean you up.” 
You wake up in his bed the next morning with the window open and the birds attempting to chirp over the sound of car engines and city white noise. Soiled clothes cling to your skin, cum staining your panties and the insides of your thighs from the two other rounds Simon insisted on going for. You’re spent. Licked clean until your sugary crust dissolved, and now you’re nothing but a bare, gooey center. Sheets stick to your body as you sit up, body yearning to stretch, only for a tattooed arm to yank you back onto the mattress. 
You’re face to face with Simon, and your muscles are too mushy to argue with him. His fingers trace your makeup-stained face. Old mascara sitting in the creases of your eyes from heavy tears, glitter from your lip gloss seeping into your chin and cheeks. He adores it. A beautiful mess — the only chaos he can create that is still worth loving. 
But you’ve been here long enough. 
“Morning,” you greet, voice faint. He does nothing but hum in response. “If uh… I can shower and maybe borrow your clothes, I can head home here soon. Get out of your hair.” 
“Not happening,” he replies, voice so sharp you flinch. 
You clear your throat in a poor attempt to regain your composure. “Well, uh. We should probably head to the pharmacy. The morning after pill would be a good idea considering-”
You’re silenced by his hand gently grazing your cheek. He looks human lying there next to you, half of his face smushed into a pillow. Almost. There’s something wrong with his eyes. A darkness lurking there that you hadn’t noticed before. Or had you just forced yourself to be blind to it? You watch him with wide eyes as his gaze narrows, a seething question burning on his tongue. 
“The fuck do you think this is, sweetheart?” You swallow, and it feels like razors tear you apart the whole way down your throat. “Dreamin’ of each other? I’ve been craving you for fucking years. Think this is all just a coincidence? Think this was all for one good fuck?”
“You… don’t seem like the type of man to be superstitious,” you admit. 
His glare undos you as the muscles in his jaw tense. He leans up, towering over you as you lay under him, face mere inches from yours as his upper lip fights back a snarl. 
“We’re in this for the long run, sweetheart,” he says as if he’s staking a claim. “I’ll get you nice and fat with my kid if you aren’t already, and I’ll take good care of the both of you. Protect you. Make sure I never have to dream about you again because you’ll always be right here.”
“That’s crazy, you’re speaking nonsense,” you say, “I-I hardly know you.” 
“We’ll go down to the registrar's office,” he continues as if you never even spoke in the first place. “Next month you’ll be my wife and we’ll make good on the mess our minds have been making of each other for the last few years.” 
Palpable fear plagues your body, forcing your bottom lip to quiver as you shake your head at his utter nonsense. This… this is insane. He’s insane. But weren’t you aware of that much? How many men have you watched him kill? How often have you watched him wash the blood from his gloves, or claw out of an early grave? Heard him chuckle as a man groveled and sobbed, begging to be let go, just for him to skewer him with his knife anyway? 
What else did you expect from a man you met at Terminus? 
While Simon dreamed the good dreams — the fair dreams of sweet smiles and smooth liquor — you’ve been the antithesis of him. You’ve had the nightmares, the sweats, the anxiety. Every single image you ever saw of his life had been a warning. A siren screaming for you to run. A premonition of the trained hunter that’s been on your savory scent for years. And still, you fell right into his trap as if you weren’t taught the exact way to wiggle out of it. 
“What else have these dreams been for, sweetheart? I’ve been huntin’ you for years. Not lettin’ you go now just ‘cause you’ve got cold feet.”
Teeth embedded in flesh, now all you can do is squirm as Simon’s lips press against yours. He no longer needs to dream of ripping you apart. Flesh from bone, sinew shredding and snapping. Now, he can do that all from the comfort of his bed as he devours you — his lovely wife — soul and all. 
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lenaellsi · 5 months
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One thing that really gets me about the opening with angel Crowley is that he's not just excited by how beautiful his stars are, or how fun the process of creation is, or how impressed he's made Aziraphale. He’s not in it for the glory or the aesthetics. He’s actually horrified by the idea that the universe will just be "fancy wallpaper" in the future, even though Aziraphale assures him that humans will "marvel" at his creations.
What Crowley loves about his stars is their potential. He is building, essentially, a nursery. Most of the universe's stars, he explains to Aziraphale, will come pre-aged--but his are just starting out! After they're given time to grow, who knows what could happen! Good or bad, black holes or new constellations—there are so many possible futures ahead of them, and Crowley can’t wait to see what happens.
And then Aziraphale tells him that he knows what will happen: those stars will never grow up. They will never shine or burn out or implode or become anything new. They’ll be destroyed before they get the chance.
"You can't kill kids."
“Whose side are you on?” “God’s, of course!” “Same God that wants me to whack the kids?”
"People die." "They do, don't they?"
“Great pustulant mangled bollocks to the Great blasted Plan!”
"Don't test them to destruction."
"It's always too late."
"Nothing lasts forever." "No, I don't suppose it does."
This fear has been chasing Crowley since before the beginning. It’s what caused his first doubts, put the first traces of gray in his wings. He’s been raging at the futility of watching beautiful, complex things be damned or destroyed for his entire existence, and that’s why he seems to the audience and to Aziraphale to be a mess of contradictions.
He loves to follow the trends of the times, but he clings to his classic car in an era of planned obsolescence for vehicles. He lives in an ultra-modern flat, but finds his greatest comfort in the unchanging security of aziraphale’s old shop. He hates the idea of killing children, but is willing to see a child die if it preserves the rest of the universe and foils the Great Plan. He “goes too fast,” but his most unique and notable power is that he’s learned to stop time.
Crowley hates predestination. He hates divine intervention and the removal of agency. Crowley, the architect of free will, is constantly torn between his love of change and choice and potential and his terror that everything will be destroyed by an unstoppable, incomprehensible higher power. That’s his driving conflict in the way that Aziraphale’s is learning to find his own path without following Heaven’s rules, and I am fascinated to see how it resolves.
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serafilms · 4 months
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the golden quartet
art donaldson x reader, slight tashi duncan x reader, slight patrick zweig x reader, wc: 2k
author’s note: basically just a way less toxic (?) version of the movie with the reader inserted. they’re all still incredibly codependent and tashi/reader are very much in love and art/patrick are very much in love and art/tashi have their own kind of friendship/relationship and so do patrick/reader, but really patrick and tashi are one couple, art and reader are another couple, but like they would all live together and probably sleep in the same bed hypothetically. but in a healthy way. i like to imagine a world where they’re all codependent but skip all the “villain” allegations in their mess, and it’s just a beautiful unspoken symphony of love and four-way fidelity and infidelity. will probably write more in this universe.
part two here
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“Tashi, stop it.”
Tashi stops and her eyes lock in on you, racket dropping to her side. “Stop what?”
You watch the way she bounces the ball a few times and don’t miss the way her gaze keeps flitting to your hand.
“Stop analysing me.”
She lifts a shoulder in a shrug, and doesn’t break your gaze. “It’s my job to analyse the opponent so I know how to win the game.”
“Yeah, but you’re not looking at me like an opponent.” Your lips purse. “You’re looking at me like you’re trying to calculate how to get me back on the court.”
“You’re on the court right now, aren’t you?”
“You know what I mean, Tashi.” Your racket falls to the court exasperatedly and you manage a step towards the net. “It’s over for me, I’m done playing tennis and I’m okay with that, but I’m not sure that you are.”
There’s just a tiny quiver in her eyes before her gaze steels itself again and she nods. “Fine. I get it.”
She tosses you the ball. “Just help me train.”
You watch as Tashi gets into position, and pick up your racket slowly. Maybe you shouldn’t have snapped at her. You so rarely do, but you’ve closed the door on that chapter of your life now, and you’re sick of her trying to pry it open. You don’t want possibilities of what you could have had. You don’t want to put in more years just to watch yourself fail at something you never really liked in the first place.
There’s a dull ache in your chest as you serve the ball.
Tashi Duncan has been your best friend for five years. For the life of you, you can’t remember the details of the tournament you were at, but you had a game against her. It was electrifying. You’d never played tennis like that before. It felt like you’d never known what it was like to breathe before Tashi Duncan. She basically crushed you, but you managed to get in a good few points, had the audience and line judges on the edge of their seats, and at the end of it, when you shook her hand, you felt like you’d just discovered a missing limb.
She found you afterwards in the stands and sat with you to spectate the next few matches. And hadn’t let you go since. You couldn’t imagine a life without Tashi. She was there for your first boyfriend, she was there when you broke up with him, she was there when you failed a class and your parents threatened to pull you out of tennis, and she was there when your wrist shattered and you quit.
Tashi never really understood why it was so easy for you to walk away. “You’re one of the best,” “You have so much potential,” “You can learn to play with your other hand.”
She never seemed to hear you when you said you didn’t want to play anymore. She’d look at you, with her piercing gaze then look away and move on. But the conversation was never over. It was like you didn’t exist to her without tennis, like it was your one achievement, and she couldn’t gauge who you were without it.
You suppose you were flattered, touched even, that she cared so much about you, in her own weird way.
Tashi looks at you questioningly when you lower your racket. You smile, “You should rest up. Your drills are perfect. You’re gonna crush her tomorrow.”
She takes a look at her watch, then nods. You can tell she wants to stay longer, but there’s really no reason to. Especially when you can feel her itching for a real match. That you can’t give her.
You bump her shoulder as the two of you walk out. “Wanna grab some donuts?”
The unimpressed face she gives you makes you laugh. “Come on, we can get you one of those healthy ones. The gluten-free, vegan bullshit.”
“Sounds delicious,” she drawls, but makes no further comments. You grin. A success.
She says nothing as you swing your borderline crippled arm over her shoulder, but you feel her muscles underneath relax just a little bit.
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The following day brings a new round of pretentious young assholes on the court. Some of them eye you up as you make your way into the bleachers, whispering to each other. A girl comes up to you and asks for a picture. You’re a little surprised, and feel a little blindsided, but you suppose it’s only been a year since your injury. And well, considering where you are right now, it sure does seem to the rest of the world like you’re not fully done with tennis.
“Yeah, no problem,” you say with a smile.
The girl takes the picture, thanks you profusely then leaves, and you make your way up to the bleachers, and find a nice spot in the middle. Tashi liked you to be right in the middle of the game so you could watch her and her opponent. You wonder if she’s secretly preparing you to become an umpire.
There’s a flurry of whispers all too close to you, and then there’s a shadow blocking the sun to your left.
Two boys stand facing you, staring at you with their mouths slightly agape. You can’t help the amused smile that splits your face.
“Can I help you?”
The brunet snaps back into reality first. “Sorry, we were just— are you Y/N L/N?”
“Yeah, I am,” you say, eyes flitting between the two. They’re cute. Really cute.
The blond shakes his head slightly, like he’s coming out of a trance, and says, “Sorry, this is just the first time we’ve seen or heard about you since….you know.”
He winces, and his head ducks a little like a scolded puppy. “Sorry to hear about that, by the way.”
You let out a laugh that seems to catch his attention again. His friend jabs him in the side with his elbow. “Oh, don’t worry about it, seriously. It’s been a year, I’m over it.”
“Huh,” he says, nodding a little absently. He glances to the brunet, who’s just grinning at him. “Um, by the way, we’re—“
“Art Donaldson and Patrick Zweig, right?”
The blond, Art, looks a little speechless.
Patrick chimes in. “Yeah, that’s us.”
“I watched your game just before. That was quite some victory celebration.”
The way Art’s ears turn red makes you happier than you’d like to admit. There’s a little flip in your stomach as he fumbles, “Yeah, well…”
There’s a flurry of movement as Patrick puts his arm around Art’s neck and pulls him impossibly close in a one armed hug. “Social conduct’s not gonna get in the way of me celebrating with my boy.”
The blond leans away and fights to get Patrick off him, and you smile as you watch. “Don’t worry, it was cute. Plus, I get it. We’re sort of the same way sometimes when it comes to victories. I mean, not the same, but you know.”
That seems to catch Patrick’s attention. “By we, do you mean you and—“
“Tashi Duncan!”
The announcement rings loud and clear through the speakers as she walks onto the court.
It’s almost comical the way Patrick’s jaw goes slack and he slumps onto the seat behind him.
You watch as Tashi waves at her screaming fans, shoots her winning smiles and makes her way to her side. She catches your gaze for a moment and you nod. She looks away and begins to stretch, but you’re not bothered. She knows you’re here, and that’s all you need. Can’t try and take Tashi Duncan out of the zone.
As you sit down, you’re a little surprised to find Art mirroring the action, still looking at you. “So, you’re best friends with Tashi Duncan?”
You nod. “Since we were like, thirteen.”
“Oh wow,” his eyes widen and you can’t help but think how impossibly cute he looks, “that’s almost how long Patrick and I have been friends.”
“Really? Oh, wow.” There’s a beat of silence, just long enough for you to catch each other’s eye and look away with awkward giggles.
Luckily, that’s when the match starts. And your focus locks in.
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“COME ON!” Tashi’s scream is palpable in the air.
It feels like the wind has been knocked out of you. You’ve heard it a million times before, but it never fails to strike you.
There’s something akin to awe in Patrick’s eyes. Art looks like he’s in disbelief.
You can’t help but agree with their faces.
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“So, are you guys coming to the party tonight?”
Patrick’s eyes flit away from Tashi’s to look at you. “Yeah, we were just talking about earlier. Art was saying how excited he was. He just loves parties.”
You can’t quite decipher the smirk on his face, but he looks like the kind of guy who’s never up to any good, so you turn to Art expectantly.
His eyes meet yours and your stomach does another little flip as he says, “Yeah, I’ll— we’ll be there.”
“Cool,” you reply. “I’ll see you guys later, then.”
You manage one quick glance back as you walk away, and see Patrick grinning and shaking Art’s shoulders. A smile plays at the corner of your lips and you leave.
Tashi finds you at your agreed-upon meeting spot, and wastes no time in grabbing your hand. “Come on.”
“Don’t you need to take pictures with your trophy?”
“Got a few, they’ll take more at the Adidas party. We’ve got to get ready.”
There’s a warm feeling like sunlight dancing in your chest as you let her drag you away.
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The party is in full swing by the time you finally spot Art Donaldson and Patrick Zweig lurking in the corner of the yard.
You’d just stepped off the dance floor for a moment, telling Tashi you were going to get another drink. The two boys seem to be arguing about something, but as you close the distance, you can see that they’re grinning too.
“Hey,” you greet the two. Their heads turn towards you in unison and they both stand up straight.
“Hi,” they chorus.
You take a sip of your drink as your eyes flit between the two. “So….what are you guys doing all the way over here?”
“You know,” Art says dryly. “Just enjoying the ambience.”
(Cute and funny. Man, you’re screwed).
“It’s a lot less creepy if you actually talk to her instead of just staring at her.” Your words are directed at Patrick, whose eyebrows shoot up. A smirk falls on his face. His charm instantly covers up the awkwardness.
Art barks out a laugh. (It’s a sound you wish you could inscribe in your mind).
“What makes you think I’m here for her?” Patrick smirks, looking you up and down. It’s so clearly a deflection, but it feels so natural that you can’t help but smile, and you feel your cheeks warm just a tad.
You glance back at the dance floor, and see Tashi excuse herself, glancing at you as she goes for her drink. You reach over to pat him on the shoulder. “Come on, I’ll help you out.”
As you turn on your heel and walk towards Tashi, you hear a slap behind you and an, “Ow!”
“Tashi!” The smile in your voice is audible as she looks up.
“Hey,” she smiles back.
Then, her head tilts to the side and she looks at the boys. “Hi.”
“Hi,” they both say.
There’s a quiet moment in which you all exchange looks, a twinkle in each of your eyes. You can almost feel a spark of something in the air, and suddenly you’re thirteen years old again, meeting Tashi for the first time. Like another puzzle piece has finally fallen into place.
You feel your chest warm. If only you knew what your life was about to become.
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prodbyton · 7 months
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into you ☆ l.at
lee anton x fem reader
your mom and her best friend set you up with your old friend from childhood, and you two pretend to date in order to keep them happy. but what happens when feelings start to brew, and the past gets revealed?
college!au, fake dating, ex friends to semi friends to lovers, slowburn, mutual pining, fluff, a bit of angst, smut 18+ MDNI, anton is a self sabotaging idiot.
🎀 cw. smut (ofc), dom!anton, fingering, not really a size kink but anton's size is mentioned a few times, overstimulation, unprotected sex (pls wrap it up,,) creampie, little bit of dry humping, cum eating
⭐️ wc. 15.7k
🎧 into you . tamia • sycamore girl . rex orange county
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"i feel like it's so humiliating having my mom set me up on a date." you hold the phone in between your cheek and your shoulder, trying your best to find a good enough outfit.
your best friend, sky, was your emotional support through this whole situation. "it's kind of cute though, like she's looking out for you in a way" she says over the speaker, and you roll your eyes at her comment.
"right, because nothing is cuter than your mom saying 'you're so lonely i'm going to take matters into my own hands'," a hard sigh leaves your lips.
"well when you put it that way, i guess you're right. but this could be nice! what if he's nice, what if he's hot-"
"please, i don't really have a lot of hope in whatever nice guy has picked out"
speaking of the nice guy, you heard the doorbell ring and you sigh again knowing that the next few hours you could be spending rotting in bed, you will now be spending with a mystery man who's probably some secret asshole that's masked as an angel by your mother.
you get off the phone with sky and make your way downstairs towards the door, slipping your shoes and sweater on. you look to your side and see your mom walking down the hall with a bright smile on her face. as you open the door, you see someone you never expected to see.
lee anton.
he has this near fake smile on his face when the door opens, making eye contact with you and then smiling at your mom who was behind you.
"hi y/n, hi mrs.l/n" he starts and you have to fight your eyes from rolling so hard. why was he here? surely he wasn’t… no. no way
"hello anton, you look so handsome, come in, come in!" your mom now is pushing you to the side to drag the boy into the house.
"now y/n, i didn't tell you before because i wanted to make sure you wouldn't freak out, but anton here is your date!"
and that's when a piece of your soul died.
"excuse me?" you try your absolute hardest to not yell, but the confusion and slight anger is building up.
ever since you were little, your mom and antons mom always wished that you two would end up together. you two were friends up until high school, but with new friend groups and new interests the two of you went down different paths. it happens and there weren't really any hard feelings, at least until he started completely ignoring your existence. you didn't hate him, but you were not pleased with his past behavior. and you definitely were not pleased right now.
"don't be rude y/n, this is a great thing! you're a beautiful girl, and anton is a handsome boy. you two have known each other since you were kids and you both go to the same university! it's a perfect match. now you two hurry up and go so you don't miss the reservation i made. have fun" she shoves you two out of the door before you could protest any further and anton is saying goodbye to your mom in his fake sweet voice he's always used with her.
if only she knew that you two haven't spoken since junior year of high school.
you fold your arms across your chest while you walk towards antons car, him rushing to catch up to you so he could open the door. 
"how nice of you" you taunted, giving him a fake smile before stepping into the passenger's seat of his car. he gives you that same fake smile before closing the door, not saying a word to you. he walks around the car and gets in, putting on his seatbelt and starting the car.
"you want aux?" he finally speaks, pressing the bluetooth options on his car to connect your phone if you'd like. you happily oblige, not wanting to listen to whatever he wants to put on. even if you two had very similar taste in music, you would always argue that your taste is better. once you press shuffle on your main playlist, he pulls his car out of your driveway and starts the drive to the restaurant your mother picked out for you.
you shift in the seat so you're leaning towards the window, and you open your messages to text your friend sky about the insane situation you were in,
you: oh my fucking god you: its anton you: lee fucking anton!! my mom is sick sky: omg you two haven't talked since highschool! sky: please don't kill him you: no promises sky: maybe you two will fall in love now you: over my dead body sky: if you are gonna be in the same space as him for the next few hours, maybe ask him to put me on with wonbin you: do not use my pain and suffering as a way to get dick sky: i'm trying to find ways for us both to benefit from this! sky: i shouldn't have to suffer because you don't want to talk to anton sky: plus anton is hot! as fuck! i say give it a shot, and if it works out then i can have a shot at his sexy friend you: you are evil sky: update me later babes 
aside from the music playing in the car, the ride to the restaurant was silent. anton wanted to talk, but he just couldn't find the right words to say. not like you would want to listen to anything he'd say anyways. but it was just for the car ride, he told himself he'd talk once you two were seated.
pulling into the parking lot, anton parks the car and turns off the ignition. he got out of the car and did a slight speed walk so he could open your door to let you out, and this time the smile was genuine as you got out of the car.
he's not an asshole, you think. i guess i could try and make the most of this date.
he was never an asshole to you, even throughout the years you haven't spoken. of course, avoiding you and acting like you don't exist at events could be taken as being an asshole, but it's not bad compared to the way you've been treated by other men. he's always been a sweet, well-mannered, soft spoken boy.
you two weren't best friends back then, but it still hurt when the two of you drifted apart.
as you two walk into the restaurant, anton talks to the host about the reservation your mother made and you two get seated at a nice booth near the back.
"so, did you know about this? like, did you know that i was the person you were getting set up with?" you start, not looking at him but looking at the menu to get a feel of what you'd want once the waiter comes around to ask for drinks.
"well not at first, but my mom kept hinting at things that traced back to you. wasn't surprised though, they've been trying to set us up since we were in elementary school." he says it almost with no emotion, and you react with a small laugh that makes him smile.
"what kinds of things did she say?" you're intrigued once you really process what he said.
"well" he starts, and you lean into the table with interest. "it wasn't anything out of the ordinary. she was just like 'you should come to visit this weekend, there's a girl i think you would really hit it off with. you actually know her and you two would make a great couple blah blah blah.' things she's already said to me before trying to set me and you up. your mom really didn't give you any hints about today?" it was his turn now to be intrigued, remembering how shocked you were to see him at the door earlier.
"i had no idea. i was scared she was setting me up with some ugly asshole that she would think i would like, when she really has no idea what my type is. she just told me to come for the weekend and was like 'oh he's a sweetheart you're going to love him!' and that was that." you mock your moms swooning voice and anton laughs. 
the next hour and a half at the restaurant went well, you two were able to break the awkwardness and catch up from the past years. it felt good honestly. the relief of getting a friend back was always the best feeling.
once you two finished eating, the waiter came around to hand you guys the bill. you figured you two would just split it, this was technically a date but you didn't really think of it that way. and you didn't want anton spending his money on you, you both were forced on this 'date' and it wouldn't be fair in your eyes for him to pay for you. you quickly turn to grab your wallet out of your purse, but once you get your card out the waiter is already walking away with antons card.
"dude, you didn't have to do that!" you whisper yell at him, and he just chuckles.
"don't worry about it. date or not, if you pulled your card out it would look like i was some broke asshole trying to split the bill" he says in his soft voice and you nod, understanding where he was coming from.
the waiter comes back around with antons card, and you guys make your way out of the restaurant and back to his car. he opens the door for you again, you step in and make yourself comfortable this time, adjusting the seat to your liking.
the ride to your house was silent, but it was a comfortable silence. you didn't really know what this meant for the two of you. were you guys friends again? was this really a date and there were more in the foreseeable future? was this just a one time thing?
to be completely honest you didn't want to date anton. not that he wasn't attractive, you would be living a lie if you said he wasn't. he was definitely one of the most attractive guys you've ever seen, but it would just be weird to date him. you guys were friends and it was still a semi-mystery on where you two stand in terms of friendship. and did you really want to date someone your mom set you up with? you're still in college and honestly you don't know what exactly you want yet.
"so um, i'll walk you to the door" suddenly the quiet was awkward again as he got out of the car to let you out and walk you to the front door. and now here you two were, standing awkwardly in front of the door both trying to think of something to say.
why was it so weird now? you were both fine holding a conversation not even an hour ago.
"sorry that our moms pushed us into doing this, but it was nice to uh- it was nice to talk to you again" anton puts his hands in his jean pockets and looks down at you with a sheepish smile, and you look up at him and smile back.
"yeah, it was nice seeing you. you're not gonna go ghost on me again after this are you? cus i know where you live, and i'll tell your mom" you threaten him, and he puts his hands up in defense. if there's one thing you remember about your friendship with anton, it was that his mom did not play about you. if even a scratch got on you when you and anton were together, he would get an earful about being too reckless. even if you were the reckless one
"there's no need for all of that! i won't go ghost on you, it's nice to get a friend back"
"well then, i'll see you on campus?" you look up at him, and he nods.
"see you on campus"
and with that, you put your keys into the door and make your way into the house, giving anton a small wave goodbye before closing the door and taking off your shoes. as you make your way through the house and pass the living room, you see your mother sitting on the couch with a smile so wide her face probably hurts.
"next time you ask me to come home for the weekend to go on a date, i'm blocking your number" you joke, and she rolls her eyes before getting up and walking towards you excitedly.
"how did it go? isn't he just the sweetest boy? are you guys going out on another date? did you kiss?" she wiggles her eyebrows and you nearly gag.
"mom! oh my gosh, no i did not kiss anton! what kind of girl do you think i am? i don't kiss on the first date" she lets out a small pfft at your response.
"so you’re saying there's a second date?" the tone in her voice is teasing and expectant, and you shut her down again.
"that's not what i meant... and i wouldn't even call that a date. we had a nice time though" 
"i think you should give him a chance y/n" her hands run up both your arms, giving them a small squeeze when she reaches your shoulders. she gives you a look that almost makes you want to give into her, but you have to stand on your own words.
"i think that, i'm going to go upstairs and go to sleep and forget today happened"
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the next day you're making your way back to campus, leaving earlier in the day so you can hang out with sky before she's too tired to listen to your rambling.
"i can't believe you didn't text or call me last night to give me all the juicy details about your date with anton!" sky whines, plopping next to you on the couch with a frown on her face.
"it was not a date, and i wanted to tell you in person that's why i didn't tell you anything! you should be thanking me for being such a thoughtful and considerate friend" 
"yeah yeah, now let's hear it. how was it? what was he wearing, did he smell good, did you guys kiss-"
"what is up with people thinking i just go around kissing everyone? i did not fucking kiss anton, and i didn't smell him! you weirdo..." you playfully slap her shoulder, and she giggles. "but it was fine. it was more like catching up with an old friend than a date."
"so are you guys friends again? it's been how many years since you've talked?"
"like 3 years now... it's so weird! it was so awkward at the start too, like i didn't know what to say to him and then it being a date that our moms planned just made it even worse" 
"this is good though! now that you two are friends, i can stop trying to avoid his friend." she’s smirking now, and you give her the meanest side eye. she’s been crushing on wonbin for months now, but she didn’t want to date one of antons friends for your sake. You did have some mutual friends, but you wouldn't go past the line of friendship with anyone who was associated with anton because you didn't want to cross paths with him more than necessary. 
"i really can't believe you would take advantage of this situation to hook up with wonbin!"
"i'm just putting it in the air that i would totally fuck antons friend if given the opportunity. and with your little situation you give me the perfect opportunity to shoot my shot" she says matter of factly, and you know that you can't stop her once she has her mind to something so you just sigh.
"you're unbelievable" 
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after debriefing your saturday with sky, you two were still hanging out on the couch watching tv. truthfully, the tv was watching you both since you were both on your phones. while you were scrolling through videos, an unexpected notification pops on the top of your screen.
it was anton. what was he texting you for? technically you two were friends again, but you didn't know you two would be back on a texting basis so soon.
ant: are you back on campus? ant: this is anton btw you: i knew it was you you: but yeah i'm on campus, what's up? ant: can you meet me in the dining hall you: right now? ant: if you're not busy right now, then yeah you: i'll be there in 10
“i'm gonna go to the dining hall to get some snacks, you want anything?” 
“just a soda pleaseee”
you go to your room to change your sweatpants to jeans and throw on a hoodie, then you make your way out of your apartment to meet anton. luckily, it wasn't a long walk from where you lived. it was a small apartment off campus that you and sky split. as you’re nearing your destination, you see the boy standing outside on his phone while he waited for you. he looks up and sees you, waving you over once you notice him. 
“hey” he breathes out once you reach him, and you put your hands in your hoodie pocket while you look up at him.
“hi” you give him a small smile, following him as you two walk into the dining hall.
“you weren’t busy or anything, right? i didn't mean to interrupt your afternoon” he finds a nice table for you two to sit, and you watch as he fidgets with his fingers. 
“no, no don't worry i wasn't doing anything. but what's up?” 
he lets out a sigh and runs his fingers through his hair. he seemed nervous, which was making you nervous. you literally saw him yesterday, what could have happened in the last 24 hours?
“don’t be mad, okay?” 
“you can’t tell me not to get mad anton, now i'm preparing to be mad.” you roll your eyes, the concern you had turning into a lack of patience. he should know by now how much of an impatient person you were, never liking suspense or surprises.
“well um, after yesterday my mom was really happy that we went on a ‘date’,” he puts finger quotes over the word date, and you raise an eyebrow “...and she kept going on and on about us being a couple”
“you told her we weren’t dating, right?” 
silence. it was your time to sigh now, already knowing where this was headed.
“anton…” your voice drifts, and he jumps to defend himself.
“she was just so happy! i didn't want to let her down. so she’s kind of under the assumption that we’re dating.” he puts his head down, probably because he expected you to start yelling at any moment. 
“dude! you can't just do that without telling me, now my mom’s gonna think we’re together too” it was your time to sigh now, confusion and a tang of anger brewing through you. 
“i'm sorry, really. but thats why i needed to see you, i think i have a solution for this” 
“the solution better be you telling your mom that we’re not together, anton” your voice is serious, and you fold your arms over your chest.
“well not exactly, we could just let our moms think we’re a couple whenever we are around them, but we don't have to really be together! that way we can still be friends and they can be happy” he says it like it's the greatest idea in the world, and you stare at him blankly for a few seconds.
“are you insane? i am not doing that.” a scoff leaves your lips, and he gives you a defeated look before he tries again.
“it's just for our moms! no one has to know” it’s honestly comical at this point how he was borderline begging you. but you understand where he’s coming from. if you told your mom that you and anton really weren’t dating, you would never hear the end of it and she would keep trying to get you two together. 
“i'll think about it. but you're buying me lunch”
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you spent the night in your room thinking. it really wasn't a bad idea, but fake or not, did you want to date anton? just for the sake of your moms, and no one else had to know. it would be believable in the eyes of your moms, since you two were friends again you two would be hanging out. 
i guess i could pretend to date him for a little bit. how often would we be around our parents for it to be a problem? if we’re always on campus, they won't expect to see us that much. you were mumbling to yourself, weighing your options before you decided to text anton your decision. 
you: i thought about it  ant: so? you: it's just for our moms you: and you're buying me food for a month! ant: deal
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you have your head in your hands while you try to keep yourself focused for the last 20 minutes of class, bored out of your mind while your professor talks at the slowest pace known to man. you're spacing out now, twirling your pen between your fingers and staring straight forward. letting your eyes drift, they fall on anton. he was sitting in the row in front of you, and from where he was sitting you were able to see his side profile. it almost looked like he was sleeping, which wouldn’t surprise you since you were also super bored. 
how do you go back to being friends with someone after years of not talking? the two of you were cool but you can't help but think that it would be awkward for a little bit until you two were comfortable again. how much has he changed? how much have you changed? what if you have nothing in common anymore, and it was the universe's plan for you two to drift apart?
stop overthinking things, you guys are just friends. there was nothing to overthink, right?
after a few more minutes of arguing with your inner monologue, class is finally over. you're packing up your things when you notice someone is standing over you. you look up to see anton. 
“do you want to get lunch? if you don't have any classes after this, of course. it'll be me and some of my friends, you can invite sky too if you want since i know you’re not very familiar with all of them” he says to you softly. You were kind of hungry now that he’s brought up food, and who would you be to deny a free meal?
“thank god you asked me, i'm starving. let me text sky to see if she wants to join” You get out of your seat and follow anton out of the classroom and to the dining hall.
you text sky to come to the dining hall, and that you'll be having lunch with anton. You tell her that wonbin will be there too knowing that she’ll get there faster than the speed of light. and you were right, once you and anton were turning the corner you could see sky out of breath as she came up to you.
“y/n!! no matter what i do, i just can't get my grade up higher than a c in chem! i don't know how anyone is passing that class, i swear i'm going to kill my professor- oh, hi anton!” sky is ranting to you while barely catching her breath, and then she realizes that anton was standing next to you. she gives him a smile, and then gives you a look. 
if anton wasn’t right there, you would hit her and tell her to cut it out. You knew her look was a ‘he looks good’ type of look, and you didn't want him to pick up on her nonsense.
“hey sky, and who’s your chem professor? i heard mr.jung was a pain in the ass, one of my friends has him for chem too” you all make your way to where antons friends are sitting now, eying the group to see if anyone else you know is there.
“i have mr.jung! i swear im gonna kill myself if he doesn’t raise my grade.” sky pouts, and you all stand before the table, anton going to introduce you and sky to the group.
“guys this is y/n and sky” he raises his voice a bit so everyone can hear him, and everyone waves and says hi to you both. “y/n, sky, this is sohee, wonbin, sullyoon, and seunghan” 
You already knew sohee and sullyoon, you all were partners in a project for bio last semester and got kind of close. and you didn’t know wonbin aside from sky thirsting over him for the last two years, showing you every little thing he posted on social media like he was some celebrity crush. and seunghan you weren’t too familiar with, could be simply because you don't have any classes with him in it and you don't know much of the friends anton has made since you two talked last.
you finally take a seat next to anton, sky and sohee sitting across from you. his friends are cool, you admit as you make good conversation with everyone at the table. you didn’t have a real friend group on campus, you mainly only talked to sky along with a few other people but they were all a part of different crowds. so it was nice that anton let you join in with his group of friends. 
“do you want to get your food now? i can get it for you if you want to stay here,” anton leans over to talk to you, loud enough for only you to hear. 
“no its fine ill come with” you turn to face him and you two let the table know you’re getting food and you’ll be right back. 
you two grab trays and fill up your plates, now going to the line to pay for the food. You decide now you should quickly run over some rules about how this fake relationship is going to go, since you’re hanging out with his friends you don't want any suspicions about what your relationship with anton was.
“we’re keeping this whole thing a secret from our friends, right? ” you ask him, and he takes a moment to think before he responds.
“if you want to keep it a secret then sure, it might be weird to tell people that we’re faking a relationship, and that way we don't have to fake it in front of our friends” he lets out a soft laugh, and you nod in agreement. 
“that’s true, telling sky that you’re my boyfriend would raise all kinds of hell”
Unfortunately, neither you or anton realized sohee was walking up behind you both and was able to pick up on the last bits of your conversation. intrigued, he butts in to stand in between you two. “hey guys, what's all this talk about boyfriend and girlfriend? You two dating?” he smirks, and you and anton stare at him and then at each other in shock.
this cannot be happening.
“What?” you let out a nervous chuckle “no, we’re not” it comes out faster than you can process, and you look at sohee with a smile hoping that he believes you. but he doesn't. not even a little bit.
he squints, giving you a look and then giving the same look to anton and then looking back at you. “You were just saying that anton was your boyfriend though.” you look past sohee to look at anton, he was paying for your food while you were being interrogated by sohee. Your body is heating up with anxiety, realizing nothing you say could get this boy to drop the topic. curse him for being so nosey.
“We just haven't told anyone yet, we didn’t want to make it a big deal.” anton chimes in before you could think of a reasonable response, and now you and sohee were looking at anton with wide eyes.
“this is great! we all thought there had to be something going on with you two,” he’s teasing you two now, and all you could do was sigh. this entire situation taking a sharp turn and you know that sohee was going to tell everyone, and there was no escape from being antons fake girlfriend. 
Why did he have to tell sohee that you two were together? again, doing things without letting you know first. and he’s a bit of a loudmouth, so you know when he’s walking away that he’s going to tell the table that you two were together.
“What the fuck anton? Why did you do that” You whine, grabbing your food tray from him while you make your way back to the table.
You honestly don't even want to talk to him right now. You were annoyed, you were just agreeing that you two would keep it a secret?
anton follows close behind you, understanding your anger since he didn’t realize what he was saying until he said it. truthfully, his mind went into fight or flight for a moment. the easiest thing he could think of to get sohee to leave you two alone was to just give into what he was saying. obviously, he didn’t realize the gravity of his words until after the fact. 
as you two approach the table, everyone is looking at you guys and smiling. You want to scream. this seriously cannot be my life. 
“the love birds are back!!” Wonbin cheers, and the rest of the table follows along with whistles and cheers.
“y/n, why didn't you tell me! you had me thinking we hated him” sky pouts as you sit down, and antons ears perk up at this. you hated him? he took note in his mind to ask you about that later.
“you guys could have told us, y'know. we would have figured it out anyways. the tension is definitely there” sullyoon comments while she takes a bite of her food. the rest of the table nods in agreement, and you let out a small scoff.
What tension are they talking about? the few encounters with anton that you’ve had with him before this weekend were definitely tense, but only because it was awkward. Whatever tension they thought they felt was out of pure delusion. 
You don't know how much more of this you could put up with.
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the week went by slowly. almost too slow for your liking. it was finally friday, and your mom is texting you to come home for the weekend again, and to bring anton with you. 
truthfully, you’ve been ignoring him all week. after that little stunt he pulled on monday, after you finished your food you lied and told everyone you had to get ready for your next class. it wasn’t a full lie since you did have a class, but it wasn't for another hour and a half. You just couldn't bear being at that table, and being around him. he texted you once you left to ask if you were alright, and you just gave him a simple ‘im fine’. he texted you again on tuesday, and then yesterday but you ignored them.  You probably should respond, before he starts asking sky or sullyoon about you. and it would probably be a good idea to stop avoiding antons friends as well when you pass by them on campus. it wouldn’t be a good look for you or for anton, and you don't want to come off as rude to anyone
as you were packing some clothes along with your basic necessities to go to your moms house, your phone starts to ring. You walk over to where you set it to look at who was calling, and of course it was the person you were thinking about. You thought about declining it, but you decided to answer. 
“What do you want, anton.” your voice was monotone and feigning annoyance, not really in the mood to talk to him. 
“Um, are you doing anything right now?” he sounds nervous, and you decide maybe you should relax and talk to him calmly. 
You might be upset with him right now, but you can’t be mean to him even if you tried. he was always sweet to you, so it wouldn’t be fair to talk to him like that if he wasn’t going to talk back. 
“i’m just packing up some stuff to go to my moms. you’re going too, right? she wants to have a dinner or something, with us and your parents” 
“yeah, that's why i called. im actually here to pick you up, it would be better if we showed up together than separately” he chuckles nervously and you hum in response. 
“oh! okay well… i should hurry up then. i'll be outside in a few minutes.” you say quickly, and he lets out a soft ‘okay’ before ending the call. You shove everything into your little bag, not needing a lot since you already had things at your moms and you were only going to be there for the weekend. saying bye to sky, you put your shoes on and walk out to meet with anton outside. 
once you push through the front doors of your apartment building, you see anton leaning on the door of his car while he waits for you. he sees you, and hurries to catch you and help you with your bag. it wasn't even a heavy bag, but the gesture was nice. and of course he’s opening the door to the passengers seat for you, making sure you’re fully seated before closing the door and making his way into the driver's seat.
he’s putting his seatbelt on when you decide to break the silence. “sorry for ignoring you all week. i was just kind of shaken by everything that happened monday” your voice is soft, playing with your fingers while you talk.
he doesn't say anything for a few seconds, and you start to wonder if he was mad at you. You couldn’t blame him, you would be mad if someone ignored you for a week too. 
“it’s fine, i figured you wanted some space. i’m sorry i told sohee that we were dating, i kind of panicked and i didnt know how else to get him to leave us alone. and i didnt think he would go and tell everyone, so i’m sorry.”
“it’s okay, anton. i can't really be mad at you, because i don't even know if i would have said anything better than you did. it just caught me off guard” you’re looking at him now, shifting in the seat a bit so you weren't turning your neck too much. he looks at you and smiles softly, going back to looking at the road. 
a comfortable silence fell between the two of you as he drove, the dreaded talk about monday relieving the awkward tension in the vehicle. as he turns into the neighborhood, you sigh knowing what's going to unfold once you step foot through the front door of your mothers house.
With the combination of your mom and antons mom being crazy about you two being together, you were glad that his dad was the only normal one. he was completely fine with you two just being good friends and you were so grateful for that. often, he would have to be the peacemaker in the room telling mrs.lee and your mom to calm down and let you two be.  
“i think we should make some… ground rules for this whole thing. for now and for back on campus.” you state as he pulls into the driveway, and once he parks the car he shifts so he can face you. 
“i agree, anything you have in mind?” 
You two come up with some standard rules, some things are a hard no and some are subject to change. 
rule #1- don't let anyone know its a fake relationship: it would be embarrassing if anyone knew that rule #2- keep it believable, but nothing extreme rule #3- adding onto number 2, keep the pda and flirting to a safe minimum, and no kissing rule #4- no dating/flirting with other people: fake or not, if people think you’re in a relationship do not try to get into another one.  rule #5- anton owes you food for 3 months for putting you into this situation. its only fair! rule #6- the most important, do not catch feelings. You guys were just friends! two friends, pretending to date in front of your family and friends. it was all pretend though, no feelings were actually involved, right?
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dinner went well, sitting next to anton while the adults talked about their own things and occasionally asking questions to the both of you. luckily not a lot of relationship topics were brought up. You two were able to have your own conversations throughout dinner, which reminded you of the dinners you all would have throughout your childhood. 
once everyone was finished eating, anton helped your mother in the kitchen while you sat in the living room with his parents. 
“y/n, i am so happy that you and anton are finally a couple! i feel like i’ve been waiting for this all my life” mrs.lee cheers, and you smile along with her. “isn't he just the sweetest boy?”
“he’s very sweet, probably the sweetest i’ve been with” you tell her and she's cheesing so hard. honestly, making the relationship believable wasn't going to be hard around mrs.lee and your mom, because you have no complaints about anton. he truly was the sweetest boy. even if you two weren’t really dating, he was respectful and very gentlemanly.
“We have his father to thank for that,” mrs.lee nudges at her husband, and he just gives a small chuckle at the comment.
“ i always taught him to be respectful. but truthfully the reason he’s so sweet to y/n is because he likes you” mr.lee starts, and you have to remember to not reject his words since you were trying to keep up an act here. 
all you could do was let out an awkward laugh, not sure what to say to add onto the conversation. “maybe, but he’s sweet to everyone” you try to act humble, and mr.lee gives you a look that tells you that you were wrong.
“he may be nice to everyone, but i don't think you realize just how differently he treats you than anyone else. even when you two were younger and friends, he was always the nicest to you. and don't tell him i told you this, but he had a little crush on you back in middle and highschool.” he whispers the last part, and you feel your heart drop to your feet. 
“h-he did? i had no idea…” words coming out soft now, you drop your head to stop the blood from rushing into your face. 
“he would always come home and tell us about something you did that day. he got over it after a while, but i bet he’s so happy that you two are finally together!” mrs.lee swoons, and you suddenly feel lightheaded. 
this is all too much. anton used to like you? how come he never said anything? You excused yourself from his parents, and made your way to the kitchen. 
“hey mom, i’m a little tired so im gonna head upstairs.” You walk in to her drying and putting away dishes, while anton washes them. he looks over you, noticing the tone in your voice along with the look on your face wasn’t because of fatigue, but that something was wrong. 
“okay baby, let me know if you need anything.” she walks to the end of the kitchen island where you were standing, giving you a hug goodnight. “anton, why don't you go with y/n upstairs? it's getting late, and i can finish up in the kitchen.” she turns from you to look at the boy scrubbing away at a pot, and he stops dead in his tracks at her words. 
“i was just going to head back with my parents once we finished,” he starts, looking at your mom and then at you, not wanting to intrude. he did want to talk to you, but he didn’t want to be in your space if you didn't want him there. 
“don't be silly, anton! You two are a couple and are old enough now, i don't have to separate you two” she laughs, and you and anton just stare at each other awkwardly. You were going to tell her to let it go, but because of the unique situation you two were in it was probably the best idea to follow your moms orders. You motion for him to follow you, you both saying goodnight to your mom and then to his parents. You’re walking towards the stairs to go to your room, when anton tells you that he’ll be back to get his bag out of his car.
While he grabs his things, you make your way up to your room. You leave the door open, just in case anton doesn't remember which room was yours. Walking to your window, you open it and stick your head out so you can get some fresh air.
What a night, you’re thinking to yourself. You need to calm down. With what happened on monday and what antons parents were telling you earlier, you were just too in your head. too much was happening too fast. Why was this affecting you so much? and with that you hear footsteps coming into your room and then a door closing.
“are you alright? You looked a little flushed downstairs” the soft voice calls to you, and you know that its anton. 
You take a deep breath before turning to face him. “i'm fine. i am now, at least. i just kind of felt bad for lying right in my mom and your parents' faces. i had to get away from them” your voice is low while you speak, looking to the floor once again to avoid his eyes. he takes note of your body language, seeing that you’re a bit tense and awkward now but he doesn’t want to pry. 
“if you want i can sleep on the floor,” he’s placing his bag on the chair by your desk, grabbing something to change into for bed. 
“no, that's too uncomfortable. You can sleep on the bed” you say it in a way where its clear there's no room for debate, and he nods. 
anton would never admit it to you, but he found you severely intimidating. even when you two were younger, he was always intimidated by you. You carried yourself well, you didn’t take bullshit from anyone, always got your way, and you were stubborn. he was surprised your personalities didn't clash, he felt like you wouldn't want to be friends with someone like him. but truthfully that's what brought you two together. it was like fire and ice, you were the fire and he was the ice to cool you down.
but with being the ice, he was too scared to touch you in fear that he would melt. 
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another week passes by, and you feel like you were going insane. You don't know what it is, but every time you see anton, your heart starts racing, your face heats up along with the rest of your body. 
When he holds your hand or rests his hand on your thigh when you two were out with friends, you had to keep your composure to the best of your ability. especially when he would subconsciously  graze his thumb across the back of your hand, the action small and going unnoticed to the naked eye, but feeling too intimate for you and you would pull your hand away. 
the days that he would come over to your apartment or you would go to his dorm to hang out after classes, you found yourself feeling nervous. especially when you two were at your place, seeing him in your room and in your bed had you feeling like jelly. sometimes he would fall asleep before you, and you wouldn’t wake him up. it would be late, and you would feel bad for waking him up and making him go back to his dorm. You were comfortable enough around him anyways to tell him to move, and he never slept too close to you throughout those nights. a deep part of you wished he did, though. but you don't want to think about crossing that path yet. 
a few more days passed, and on wednesday, you went with him to his swim practice so you two could go back to your apartment and order takeout once he was finished. You brought a book with you since you didn’t know much about swimming, and you wanted to keep yourself occupied while you waited. 
an hour of practice goes by and lets just say, not a single page of the book you brought with you was read. not like you would be able to focus on reading anyways, seeing how he swam in the water was a lot more entertaining than you thought. along with how he looked when he pushed himself out of the water, full body on display. his broad shoulders, his toned arms and stomach, the droplets of water dripping from his hair down his back, the way he throws his head back to move his hair out of his face-
Wait a damn minute.
You needed to leave, feeling hot suddenly. Were you really sitting here thirsting over anton? of course, you always found him attractive. You would be silly if you didn't. but you never had any thoughts about him. and you don't want right now, in the campus pool, to be where you start. You walk down the bleachers, trying to think of an excuse of why you’re leaving the building.
“y/n? are you leaving?” anton catches you before you could find him, you turn around to see him speed walking towards you and you almost let out a giggle seeing he hasn't taken his goggles off.
“it’s just kind of humid in here. i'm gonna sit outside until you finish, okay?” you clutch your bag a bit tighter, him standing wet and shirtless in front of you is making you nervous. he’s peering down at you, smiling lightly before he lets you know he’ll be out in around 30 minutes. 
You nearly trip on your way out, feeling refreshed once you finally escape the pool room air. You take your phone out of your pocket, debating on texting sky. she didn’t know that you and antons relationship was all a facade, so what exactly could you tell her? should you just tell her the truth? You couldn't do that, that would be breaking the rules. and who knows what she would do if she found out. You had to mask it with something else in order to get your feelings off your chest.
You: sky You: sky pls You: i'm going insane sky: what what what You: okay so… yk me and anton sky: i’m aware You: well we’ve been together for about two weeks and some days You: and there's been some tension You: that wasn't there before sky: like sexual?  sky: you havent fucked that boy yet? You: omfg You: no! we haven't gotten there yet… sky: so ur telling me, you've been dating a fine ass man… sky: and you havent fucked him… for what reason? sky: better than me y/n… i would have been jumped his bones You: sky you are so unserious You: but help me out here! do i tell him? or do i just go for it sky: i say talk to him first because what if he isn't ready You: ur so right sky ily sky: lyt babes ;)
Using sex fantasies as a mask for your feelings was definitely a choice, but it helped you out regardless. of course, now you have more things to think about. did you really want to date anton? You told yourself you didn't before, but now you weren't so sure. he was the full package, everything you could ask for in a guy. so there was really nothing stopping you. but you two were friends. 
he also used to like you back in grade school. key word: used to. What if he completely got over you and wouldn’t even think about dating you now? this was a tough situation, and you don't know how much longer you could keep this up with repressed feelings. 
after 10 more minutes of overthinking, you can feel a presence behind you so you quickly turn your body to see anton right behind you. 
“You ready?” he’s looking down at you again, hair slightly covering his eyes because of the beanie he wore. his body once again covered up by the baggy hoodie along with the black sweatpants he wore. You would never be able to guess how built he really was under the clothes he chose to wear.
You realize you might be staring a little too hard for a little too long so you give him a nod. “Yeah, let's go” and he’s taking you by the hand while you follow him to his car.
 he drives you two to the nearest food place you guys could agree on. You two agree on getting wings for tonight, and then make your way to your apartment. once you enter, you see sky sitting in the living room. she gives you a look only you two would be able to understand, with anton right behind you.
sky greets you two, and anton greets her back while you take off your shoes and then make your way into the kitchen. You grab two sodas, and walk out to where anton was standing. he was usually a bit awkward around your apartment if you weren’t telling him where to go, too scared that he would touch something he shouldn’t. 
following you to your room with the food, anton shuts the door softly behind him. the boy was already in comfortable clothes, taking a shower before he left the locker rooms after practice and made sure that he brought something he wouldn't be uncomfortable in. You were still wearing a pair of jeans and a cute crop top under a zip up hoodie. 
“i'm gonna change in the bathroom, you can pull the food out and put something on the tv,” you tell the boy sitting on your bed, and he hums in response while you leave the room. Walking over to the bathroom down the hall, you take this time to relax yourself. 
You quickly change into a pair of sweats and an old tshirt, and you walk further down the hall to the living room to quickly talk to sky. 
“are you fucking him tonight? let me know so i can put in my headpho- ow!” you pinched her arm before she could finish her sentence.  
“i am not fucking him! i just came out here to tell you that i'm gonna talk to him about it”
“okay, but if there's a change of plans let me know!”
truthfully you were going to tell him about your feelings, just not tonight. maybe friday, you got invited to a party that sohee was throwing at his frat and you know that anton will be there too.
You walk back into your room now, seeing the food laid out and a movie ready for you as you get situated next to anton on your bed. he put on some action movie, which was a genre you both equally enjoyed. being around anton was comfortable. You two were able to sit in silence, laugh, and talk without any judgments. 
this could either end really good or really, really bad.
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it was friday. the day you would tell anton about your feelings. Was it a good idea to tell him at a party? probably not, but the influence of alcohol might help you build up the much needed courage. What could possibly go wrong though, right? the worst he could say is no, and you two could just go back to being friends and drop the fake dating act. 
You put on your best party dress, it was black and had the right amount of cleavage and rode up just enough for it to not be too skimpy. knowing how crazy sohee’s parties get, you wanted to make sure that you were dressed for the occasion along with getting antons attention. 
sky calls you over, letting you know she’s ready to go. You ride in her car to the party, she’s known as the designated driver for you and your friends since she was the only one who didn't like to drink. What would you do without her?
right as you walk into the house, seunghan is at the door handing you a shot glass. You down it without question, making a face at the liquid burning down your throat. You would love to get absolutely shitfaced right now, but you want to find anton. You’re pushing through the crowd of people before you see him, he’s standing close to the patio window, red solo cup in hand while he talks to sohee and some other guys you’re not familiar with. 
“hey anton,” you look at him happily, and he doesn’t even glance at you while he continues his conversation. Weird, he’s never blatantly ignored you like that, but maybe he thought you were someone else. You call him again and he finally looks at you. he glances at your outfit and then back to your face, little to no reaction to your presence.
“hi y/n” he looks at you with a look you can’t quite decipher, and you feel a slight tinge of pain in your chest at this. why was he suddenly so emotionless around you? was he drunk? “can i talk to you, it'll be quick?” he says loud enough for just you to hear, and he excuses himself from his friends while he leads you to a quiet, dimly lit hallway.
“What's up?”
and that's when he lays it on you. 
“i think that we should end this.”
You nearly drop to your knees when you hear those words come out of his mouth. “huh?” is all you could muster up, playing it off as you couldn't hear him due to the party.
“this whole fake dating thing, i think we should end it. We’re just friends, right? not like we have feelings for each other or anything… and it’s just too much work and pressure to keep up with a fake relationship” he’s not looking at you now, and all you can do is stand there in shock.
it takes a minute for your brain to start working again, finally able to process your own thoughts and words.
“right. You’re right. i guess it’s for the best if we end it. i’ll um, i’ll see you around” and you’re walking away so fast anton didn't have a chance to say anything else and to stop yourself from crying in front of everyone at this party. You quickly find sky, interrupting her flirt session with wonbin to tell her you guys need to go. she’s holding your hand tight through the crowd and out the door, and once you’re in her car you’re letting it all out. the sobs are uncontrollable now, everything you held in 3 minutes ago just coming out.
You tell sky everything on the way home, feeling like there was no reason to keep anything a secret anymore. “that asshole! i’ll kill him, i really will” sky is heated now,  she couldn’t stand seeing you like this and she couldn’t stand knowing who made you like this. 
“he’s never talked to me like that. even when he’s annoyed at me! he’s never looked at me with absolutely no emotion… i don't understand what happened” you start to think out loud once you two are inside your apartment, tears dried and the confusion settling in. you’re pacing around the living room and you feel your phone vibrate in your purse. You pull it out to see anton calling you, and you press decline. 
Whatever he has to say, you don't want to hear it. You should have known not to say anything. maybe if you had just waited until tomorrow. but if he wanted to end things, what would he have done if you confessed?
sky's phone was ringing now, she picks it up and is nearly yelling into her phone the second she presses answer. 
“hello?... Yes, we’re fine. What the fuck is up with anton, man?…okay… i don't think that's going to happen for a while… okay bye.” she sets her phone down, and her eyes soften as she watches you continue to pace the living room. “that was wonbin on the phone, he said anton was a little drunk and he wants to talk to you when you can. they’re trying to sober him up now because he started drinking more after we left. What an idiot,” she’s next to you now, rubbing circles on your back while you stare at the wall. 
Yeah, what an idiot. the both of you were idiots, it seems.
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another week goes by, and you’ve completely shut everyone out. You ignore texts, you skip classes, you don't even leave the apartment to get food. thank goodness for doordash. 
You check your phone, looking at all of the missed calls and messages from the people worried about you. one name sticks out the most, but that's the one name you don't want to talk to right now. avoiding him like he was the plague, along with any of his friends to make sure that he doesn’t hear about you.  
Unknown information to you, but sky was out. she was out with the enemy, to be more specific. she had seen anton in the courtyard with wonbin and seunghan, and she made a beeline for the boy. he noticed her almost instantly, preparing for a well deserved lashing or maybe even a slap to the face, but she grabbed him by his forearm and dragged him to a quiet side of the courtyard where she could talk freely.
“You really fucked up, anton.” she's speaking softly. “she hasnt left her room in 5 days. i don't know what to do to get her out.” 
“i’ve tried texting and calling her every day, but she doesn't respond.” his voice quieter than usual as he tries to explain himself.
“well can you blame her? you shut her feelings down before she could even get them out!” she’s quick to your defense, which was one of the reasons you loved sky. she always had your back.
“i… it's not like i don't have feelings for her, because shit, i’ve liked that girl since we were 13. but i didn't know that she felt the same way and i was too scared to ruin our friendship” he wanted to cry, ruining something that he wanted so badly with his own thoughts. 
he knew that the fake dating would resurface old feelings, but along with the feelings came the other emotions that come with liking you. he was nervous around you, he was too scared that you wouldn’t like him back and that you were only doing this because he put you in this situation. Which was another reason he was too nervous to confess, because this relationship was fake. You two were friends who were just pretending to date. and neither of you were getting anything out of it, so why would you develop romantic feelings for him? he didn't think you liked him, and to protect his heart he had to let you go. but the moment he saw your face drop at that party with tears threatening to fall, he knew he made a mistake. he never wanted to see you make that face again, especially not if it was caused by him. 
“You could have maybe asked her how she felt about you two before you just acted on a made up scenario in your head? like do you even think before you say things…”  her voice is filled with confusion and annoyance, not understanding how someone could sabotage their own relationships the way he was. and you’re her best friend, so she felt obligated to get some answers for you. 
“i was in panic mode! i couldn’t handle being her fake boyfriend anymore when i wanted to be with her for real. do you think she’ll hear me out?” if he had to get on his knees and beg you to give him another chance, he would. he couldn't bear not being with you, and he felt like he’d rather crawl into a corner and die than living his life without you again. 
“i don't know, she’s doing everything in her power to avoid you right now. but you better fix this mess or i'll have your head on a stick” she smiles at the end of her threat, reaching to pat anton on the head before walking way. 
he was going to make things right. 
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With a deep breath, anton is knocking on your front door. You were eating some leftovers from some food you ordered the day before, not bothering to order food today. sky must have forgotten her keys again, you think as you walk over to the front door. 
“sky you can't keep forgetting your ke- oh.” the one person you dreaded seeing is standing at your door with a bouquet of flowers, and a bag of your favorite candy. if you weren't so upset right now, you probably would have swooned over him coming over unannounced. 
“can we talk?” he takes in your appearance, you were wearing a hoodie along with a pair of shorts and slippers. You wouldn't say you looked a mess, but you would have put yourself together a bit more if you had known that anyone other than sky would see you today. his eyes are soft, filled with hope that you’ll let him in.
“i don't really want to talk to you right now” your face is blank, not wanting to show any sort of emotions. You could honestly cry, but you had to stay strong for yourself. 
“please? it's really important,” it almost comes out as a plea, and you nearly drop the cold act. seeing him at your door like this, maybe you should let him in? not that you wanted to hear whatever he has to say, but he came all this way. 
“fine, but make it quick” grabbing the flowers and candy from him, you let him in and you go to the kitchen to put the flowers in a vase. he sits on the end of your couch, and he's tapping his fingers on his knees while he waits for you to walk into the living room. 
When you’re seated on the other end of the couch, you peer your head over to look at anton, who was almost visibly shaking from nervousness. 
“okay, what do you want?” the cold act is back, wanting to hear him out before you fold. the gesture of him coming with flowers kind of gave away what was coming from him, but you didn't want to get excited too fast. he hurt your feelings last week, and you weren’t going to let it run past you that easily just because he came to you pleading with flowers. You could, and hell you definitely wanted to, but you were stronger than that. 
something about anton made you so weak. normally a strong stubborn person, melting and giving in to whatever he says. You don't know how he could have this effect on you, no one else is able to make you putty in their hands the way anton does. but you can't let him know that. not now, at least.
“i need to apologize for everything. not just for last week, but for putting you into this situation in the first place. when this all started, our moms setting us up like that, i didnt think much of it. but then hanging out with you that day brought back so many memories and i didnt want to stray away from you again. so i lied to my mom, and then i brought up the fake dating idea to you. You probably never knew this, but i’ve had a crush on you since we were in middle school. it went away in junior year when we stopped talking, because you had gotten a boyfriend and i was so upset that you were with someone else. i was too scared to confess to you then, and even now i'm terrified. talking to you again resurfaced all of my old feelings for you and i thought that us being in a fake relationship would bring us closer together. and then i panicked, because i thought you wouldn't like me back. We were getting so close and i was too scared of rejection, i couldn’t tell if you had any feelings for me in that way, so i thought ending it now would stop me from getting hurt” he pauses, and you take in everything he’s saying. 
tears that you tried to fight back were falling, you couldn't stop them while you listened to every word the boy beside you said knowing that he was being completely genuine. You could barely look at him, seeing that he looked like he was fighting back tears himself. 
“and seeing you at the party, i was planning on talking to you after the party but you looked so pretty i knew i wouldn't be able to stick by your side as a fake boyfriend when all i wanted was to be your real boyfriend. i didn't mean to hurt you, seriously. it nearly killed me when i saw you look at me so heartbroken. i never want to make you upset like that again.“ he was crying too now, and somehow the two of you were no longer on either side of the couch but right in the middle. not touching, but close enough to feel each other's presence. after a minute of calming yourself down, you try to find the right words to say to the boy next to you.
“You’re an idiot, lee anton” is all you could muster up, almost laughing. You sniffle, and you look at anton while he still has his head down. “You’re really an idiot, because how could i not like you back? i’ve never been around a guy as sweet as you, and i might not have seen it a couple years ago but i see it now. Y’know, the other weekend when we were at my moms and you were helping clean up… your parents had told me about your old crush on me. that’s why i was so shaken up, because i was starting to realize my own feelings for you.” he’s finally looking at you now, tears wiped away and an almost smile on his face. 
“they told you about that? i wanted to be the one to tell you” his face was a bright red from embarrassment, his parents exposing his past crush on you was not something he would expect from them. And the fact that you weren’t repulsed by his old crush caught him off guard. Of course, you have feelings for him now, but knowing that he liked you when you two were cringey teenagers? You should be laughing at him and calling him crazy. 
“ after all the times i friendzoned you during that time? i don't know how you did it. i guess i deserved the rejection last friday as a payback from all the times i shut you down.” humoring the situation was the best thing you could do to ease the tension in the room, and you both chuckle softly at your comment. 
he takes your hand into his, shifting his body so hes completely facing you, and you look down at your hands before looking back at his face. he was back to looking serious, with those soft pleading eyes burning into yours. 
“y/n, i want you to know that i like you. i like you so much, it physically hurts. i never want to be away from you, and i never want to hurt you. and i want us to be together, for real this time.  no bullshit, no rules, no more confusion. You’re the most amazing girl in the world and i can't imagine living a life without you in it. if you’ll let me, can i be your boyfriend?” you want to cry again, this was the cutest confession you’ve ever heard. You take a little bit too long to respond and his mouth is slowly turning into a frown, thinking he's about to be rejected.
“Yes, anton. You can be my boyfriend” you squeeze his hand and now he’s tearing up again. he feels like the happiest person on the planet, finally getting to be with you in the way he wanted. Happy tears stream down your face, and you pull anton into a hug, holding him tightly. He holds you just as tight, breath hitting your neck as he breathes in the scent of your neck. 
“We need to go out and celebrate! I wanna take you out, on a real date, and then we can tell everyone that we’re officially together, and-”  He had pulled out of your hug so he could list off everything he wanted to do with you, and you had to put your hands on his shoulders to keep him grounded. Even though you love his rambling, his words were coming out quicker than his thoughts and you had to calm him down.
“Woah, let's just hang out tonight? We can go out tomorrow. And we should wait to tell everyone, sky probably still wants to rip your head off and we don't need sohee or anyone else talking” he nods, and he’s still smiling from ear to ear while he looks at you.  
“You’re right, i'm just so happy.”  he has his hands on your knees now, and his eyes go from where his hands lay, your lips, and your eyes. You trail your eyes to his lips and to his neck, then back at his lips. It was like you both wanted the same thing, but both were too shy to say something. Subconsciously you were slowly closing the gap, his body leaning into yours as well. Noses almost touching, you look into his eyes and give his shoulder a small squeeze to motion him to make a move. 
“Can i kiss you?” you can feel the words leaving his lips on your own, and a small desperate please leaves you before the gap is finally closed and his lips are on yours. It was a soft kiss, the both of you getting used to each other. His lips were so soft, and they molded perfectly with yours. You felt his tongue swipe your bottom lip, and you let him into your mouth while you kissed him harder. His hands that were on your knees have moved, one hand resting on your hip while the other made it up your body and cupping the back of your neck to keep you on him. Your hands also snake into his hair, playing with the strands while you two softly make out. 
Anton felt like he was in heaven. Kissing you was a dream come true, and it topped anything he could ever imagine. He kissed you softly but full of desperation, like you were going to vanish out of thin air. His grip on your waist got tighter, slightly pulling your body into his and you gasped into his mouth. Pulling away, you look at how dazed anton was. he’s breathing hard, lips swollen and hair disheveled. You didn’t mean to work him up so much from just kissing you, but you can't deny that you weren’t a little worked up yourself. Kissing him was like something you’ve never felt before. A kiss filled with love and desperation was something you haven’t felt before, and it was something you hope you never get used to. You want to kiss him like that every time, all the time.   
“Do you want to go to my room?” you breathe out, and he nods his head happily. You stand up, grabbing his hand to bring you to his room. 
Your body was heating up, feeling slightly nervous. He’s been in your room before, but as your boyfriend? It was like something in the air shifted. A new tension filled the room once you two stepped inside your room, you closed the door softly before antons hands were on you and pressing your body to the door. You gasp at his sudden control, looking up at him and you see how dark his eyes have gotten. With one hand on your waist and one on the back of your neck, he pulls you in for another kiss. It wasn’t soft like before but still filled with desperation, like he was starved of your lips. Your hands move to his hair and onto his bicep, gripping his arm to hold yourself up while he kisses you eagerly. 
He’s strong enough to keep you up himself, but you feel like if you don't hold tightly to him you would melt. The hand on your waist pulls you into him some more, and he’s moving you both from the door to your bed. It was a bit of a struggle getting there, neither of you pulling away to see where you were going. Stumbling on each other's feet, you finally make it to the bed. Only pulling away so he could let you down softly, and you move back to the end of the bed before he’s climbing on top of you. Slotting his own legs between yours, his lips are attaching to your neck and you move your head to the side so he has better access. 
You can't ignore the way his thigh is right on your core, not moving but you feel the heat between your legs with how he’s sucking and biting little marks on your neck. His hands rest on your waist under the hoodie you wore, and you lift them just slightly to get a tiny bit of friction going. With every gasp and whimper you let out, it goes through his ears and straight to his dick. 
Anton feels you moving, and your own leg that was between his was just right below his growing hard on. He shifts so both his legs are between yours, pressing his core into yours and you let out a moan at the pressure. 
You pull at his hair, taking your other hand to run it down his chest and down to his stomach. When your hands stop by his waist,tugging at his shirt indicating that you want it off. “Anton, take your shirt off” you groan out, noticing how he’s too lost in you to notice. 
He quickly pulls away, lips and hands leaving your body. You almost felt cold, not having his body heat on you for those quick seconds. He’s sitting up so he can remove his shirt and you stare him down intently as you watch his muscles flex. Biting your lip, you run your hand down his bare chest, taking in the body above you. 
“Can i take this off you?” he’s tugging on your hoodie now, and you nod before he helps you sit up slightly to remove the clothing off you before laying you back down. He gasps when he realizes you didn’t have a bra on this whole time, and he instantly attaches his hands to your breasts and gives them a squeeze. You would think this was his first time seeing a woman naked the way he gawks at you, but he’s just so in awe of how beautiful you were. 
Leaning back down, his lips are back on yours. It's hot and messy, you can barely breathe the way he touches you. His kisses are trailing back down to your neck, and then his lips find your nipple. You whimper feeling his tongue flick the sensitive bud, one hand tweaking the other. His other hand makes its way down to the hem of your shorts, slightly dipping into your shorts but not enough. Like he was waiting for you to tell him what to do, he left his fingers right there even if you rutted your hips into his hand as a way to get him to touch you. He still wasn't letting up, and you knew that he really wasn't going to touch you unless you told him.
“Anton,” you whine, and he takes his lips off your nipple. His breath on the bud making you shiver, and you whine out again.  
“What's wrong, baby?” You couldn’t tell if his voice was laced with fake or genuine concern, and it was killing you. You were probably fully soaked through your panties and shorts, the ache between your thighs getting almost unbearable. 
“Want you to touch me” a whine slips past your lips, and you move the hand that was on his chest over where his own rests under the hem of your shorts. 
“Yeah?” he teases, finally putting his hand fully down your pants to rub you through your panties. You let out an eager mhm along with a fast nod, his fingers lightly grazing over your clit. You try to lift your hips up, but he takes his free hand to hold your hips down. “Gonna take my time with you, baby” 
Moaning at his words, you moan again when his fingers finally slip past your panties and run through your slit. Collecting your arousal on his fingers, and he lets out a soft chuckle. “You’re so wet,”
“Stop teasing, ton. Need you” you swirl your hips around his fingers, trying to get him to use them. He might be putty in your hands outside the bedroom, but it was the complete opposite right now. He likes seeing you like this. Weak under him, begging for some type of release. He finally obliges, his thumb circling your clit softly while he slips two fingers into you. You moan, the ache in your core slowly subsiding. 
He sits up so he can see your reactions fully. Your eyes were fluttering shut, mouth open slightly from the pleasure he was giving you. He moved his fingers a bit faster, and adding a bit more pressure onto your clit which made you moan. Your hand that was on his wrist gripped him tightly. He was making you feel so good, and he looked so good while doing it. With your half open eyes, you could see him focused on your cunt. His eyes were glossed over, looking from his hand that was in your pants, your face, your tits, then back to his hand. 
 He could honestly cum in his pants from the sight. Your breathing was labored and you were clenching on his fingers tighter, and he could tell that you were getting close. You usually last longer, but he made you feel so good it was overwhelming. And with how hot he was, it was hard for you to hold out. 
“Cum for me, y/n. Make a mess on my fingers” His words were so vulgar, but his voice was so soft. With a few more harsh circles to your clit, your back was arched off the bed while your orgasm hit you. Nails digging into antons wrist while he continued thrusting his fingers in you to help you ride out your orgasm. Other hand was in the sheets, grabbing onto whatever your fingers could pick up. 
When your breathing goes back to normal, anton pulls his fingers out of you and out of your pants, taking them into his mouth. It was so messy, and you moan watching him taste you on his fingers. He hums, pulling his fingers out of his mouth with a pop before running his hands down your thighs. 
“You okay?” for a quick minute the soft boyfriend you knew was back, checking to make sure you were okay and if you wanted to continue. You give him a weak nod, eyes struggling to stay open. Your hands are pulling at the hem of his pants now, and he’s stepping off the bed to rid himself of the last of his clothing. 
Through your half hazy gaze, you watch him taking off his pants along with his boxers. Your eyes nearly fall out of their sockets when you see his cock spring out of his pants. Holy shit, he was big. You knew he would be because he was just so big everywhere else, but it still took you by surprise. He gets back on the bed, settling between your legs once again. 
“How do you want me?” you ask him sweetly, and he bites his lip at the question. He hadn’t thought about it, and now he was thinking of all the possibilities of how he could fuck you right now. He placed his hands on your legs, lifting them so they could wrap around his waist.
“Just stay like this,” he leans down so he's a bit closer to your face, but not close enough for you to kiss him. His lips were slightly parted and his breathing was heavy, and you wanted to kiss him so badly. He almost seems nervous. Which would be insane with the way he made you cum just a few minutes ago. You grab him by the back of his neck to pull him to your lips, and you can feel the way he softens in your hold.
 Your other hand snakes its way between the two of you, grabbing onto his cock softly. He tenses up again, a choked moan comes out before he can process the noises coming out of him. You stroke him slowly while he struggles to kiss you back, and you bite his lip as you pull away. 
“Need you now, toni” you whisper on his lips, and you look into his eyes before he’s sitting up once again. He groans while he pumps himself a few more times, and then he’s pressing his tip into you. 
The both of you let out a moan while he’s pushing himself into you, and you bring both arms up to wrap around his forearms. It takes a minute before he's fully sheathed into you, and when he  is you feel so full. 
“let me know if it's too much, okay?” His hands grip your waist, and all you nod in response.
“Dont worry. I can take it.” you say confidently and he gives you a sly look before he pulls out almost completely, and then thrusts back in with a slow but deep thrust. He hisses, your pussy clenching around him so tightly. One of his hands moves from your waist up your chest, stopping at your breasts to play with one of your nipples while he finds his rhythm inside of you. The stimulation in both areas makes you cry out, your grip on antons arm getting impossibly tighter.  
He was still processing the fact that you were under him. It was an unreal situation. Never did he think he’d be able to get the girl he’s always wanted. never did he think he would be in her room. Never did he think he would be having sex with her. 
His pace picks up, your body jerking forward with each thrust. You could barely keep your eyes open, but the view in front of you was too good to miss. The way the muscles in his arms flexed when he drove his hips into yours, and you could see how his stomach contracted with each thrust. His eyes were focused on where the two of you connected while you stared at him, and your moans got increasingly louder with every touch and with every thrust. 
You bring a hand down to your clit, drawing circles on the sensitive area while he fucked you. He was moaning louder now, soft whimpers leaving him every time you clenched around him. 
“You’re so tight, baby” he’s leaning over you now, moving your hand from your clit and pinning it to your side. He swiftly takes his other hand and places his own fingers on your clit, and you nearly scream, the amount of pressure and speed he adds has your eyes rolling back.
He couldn’t get enough of you. If he put his hands somewhere, it would only be for a few seconds before he was moving them to a different part of your body. The hand he used to pin you down was now grabbing onto your thigh, hiking your leg up so he could put it over his shoulder. 
The new angle had his cock hitting a spot deep inside you that you didn’t know existed, and you bite your lip to stop another scream from coming out. His other hand was still in between your bodies, rubbing your clit with a swiftness. Your hand goes to his chest, subconsciously pushing him from the stimulation. 
“thought you could take it, baby. need me to slow down?” He teases, and his thrusts falter just enough for you to feel it and beg for more. Fingers still on your clit, pushing hard on the bud but not moving them. You could barely think of words to say, but the loss of stimulation was helping you gain consciousness.
“n-no! feelsso good… gna cum” tears swelling up in your eyes, you slur your words trying to tell him that he could keep going. you were so close, and you didn't want his teasing to rip the feeling of your orgasm bubbling going away, so you hoped he would continue the pace and send you over the edge soon.
pushing you into the mattress, he thrusts hard and the tears that glossed over your eyes were now falling down, the pleasure was so overwhelming. with the way he was pressing into you, the way he looked into your eyes with each thrust and you struggled to keep them open, the way his fingers expertly handled your clit while his lips hovered over yours, and the sweet words on how good you felt while you could only whine and babble incoherent words, you were so close to hitting your peak. 
“cum for me baby, i got you” and with that your body almost caves in on itself, your orgasm hitting you like a truck. your legs were shaking and your back would have arched completely off the bed if it weren't for anton above you, still fucking you sensless to help you ride it out. a choked sob leaves your lips, too breathless to let out any moans. it quickly became overstimulating, pushing at whatever body parts your hands could reach. He wasn’t letting up though, chasing his own high now and was lost in the feeling of your pussy squeezing him  deliciously.
“toni, s’too much! too much,” you whine, and the boy removes his fingers off your clit to lift himself up. he brings your leg down from his shoulder, and keeps it around his waist with your other leg. he’s still fucking you, and its still a lot but without the abuse to your clit you could tolerate the feeling of his cock fucking into you some more until he cums. His eyes were shut now leaning back down to bury his face into your neck. your hands wrap around him, running your fingers through his hair and leaving gentle tugs which elicit loud moans out of him
“tell me where to cum, baby. where do you want it?” his voice is rushed, and you know you’d have to think fast because he was a ticking time bomb. 
“wherever you want toni,” your hands leave his hair so you could move him from your neck and cup his face, giving him a loving look before pulling him into a heated kiss, teeth clashing and lip biting. you slip your tongue into his mouth, swirling around with his while you two moan into each other. with a few sharp thrusts, he’s cumming inside of you. his hips still for a moment, your pussy milking his cock of every last drop of cum. he lets out a weak whimper, body feeling weak as he fucks his cum into you.
you moan, body feeling warm from his body heat along with the fullness of his cock and his cum inside of you. the both of you let out small groans when he’s pulling out, his body still on top of yours. he gives you a soft kiss to your forehead, and you give him a weak smile. 
 “did so well for me baby. was it okay?” his soft persona was back in full effect now, sitting up so he could help you get cleaned up.
“more than okay, anton” 
he gives you a quick kiss before he’s hopping off the bed and finding his clothes on the floor. he puts his boxers on and his pants, then leaves your room quietly to go to the kitchen. When he turns the corner, he’s met with sky. she has headphones in so she doesn't notice him at first, but once she feels his presence she nearly jumps. then her startled face turns into disgust. 
“you two are fucking nasty. when i told you to fix things between you two, i didn't mean come here and break the sound barrier.” she rolls her eyes, going back to fixing herself a snack.
“sorry,” an awkward chuckle leaves anton, and he quickly grabs a water out of the refrigerator and leaves the kitchen, slightly embarrassed by the confrontation. he makes his way back down the hall to go to your bathroom, and he rinses his face with cold water, still warm from your little activity just a few minutes ago. he runs one of your washcloths under warm water, and then he’s back in your room to clean you up. sitting down in front of you, he wipes you up in the places you were most sweaty, and then wiping your thighs and carefully wiping up the cum that was dripping out of you. you were still sensitive, wincing at the contact. he helps you sit up, and you run a hand through his hair. you reach over the edge of the bed to grab your hoodie off the floor, slipping it back on. suddenly feeling a little too bare in front of anton since he at least had on a pair of pants. 
You admire the boy in front of you. He was the same, but different to you now. a sweet, beautiful boy, who was now all yours. a sweet boy who just fucked you to oblivion. a beautiful boy, who could put up with your attitude. who was weak for you, who would do anything for you. it makes you smile, the most perfect boy liked you and only you. and he was there your whole life, you two just had to figure it out on your own.   
“i ran into sky in the kitchen,” his voice was low as he handed you the water he brought, and your eyes widened in shock that your friend was home. you didn’t think she would be home by this time, usually staying out until nighttime at the library before she came home. 
“oh god, i didn't know she would be home this early. we’re never going to hear the end of this.” you whine, head in your hands. anton laughs, finding your reaction adorable. as embarrassing as it was to have someone hear you from the outside of your bedroom, he didn't have that much shame. the fact that you were loud enough to disturb the peace in the other room filled him with pride. 
“she’ll be okay. this won't be the last time she hears anything come out of this room anyways” he gives you a cheeky grin, and you scoff before slapping his shoulder. who would have thought he would be so dirty?
“don't say that!! we’re gonna have to keep quiet if she’s home,” 
“we’ll see about that. you talk a big game but you crumbled the second i put it in” he’s still grinning at you, saying it with such pride and you slap his arm again, face heating up at his words. now you have two things that you’ll never be able to live down.
“you’re sick, lee anton” you whine, and he just laughs before pulling you into a bear hug and laying the two of you onto the pillows. you two get comfortable fast, your back resting against his chest while his arms rest over your body after he pulls the covers over you two
“you like it though” he nuzzles into your neck, spooning you and rubbing soft circles on your stomach under your hoodie.
“maybe just a little”
while spending the rest of the night cuddling, you think that both of your moms were right about setting you two up. you’re suddenly grateful about that surprise ‘blind’ date, and that your mom was right about giving him a chance. laying with him just felt right. and you hope that you can lay with him forever.
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A/N: let me know what you guys think !! i kind of half assed the editing, so i apologize if there's any errors + i know the capitalization is a little wacky throughout the fic. i hope you guys enjoyed this fic as much as i enjoyed writing it :)
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two-white-butterflies · 3 months
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★ — lights will guide you home | carlos sainz and multi
Description: Trying to find love after your ex-fiancee told you that his mistress makes him happier. How hard could it be?
part two of it was all yellow
Pairing: actress!singer!reader/multi (undecided), actress!singer!reader/carlos sainz (past).
Trope: Secret Baby Trope
Disclaimer: Everything written in this fanfic holds no truth about anyone's personality or actions. It is made purely for entertainment.
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A/N: this part will mainly focus on the main character and her relationship with pablo, while setting things up with her future love interest + angst with carlos?🤔
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carlossainz55: Everyday Magic! I love you baby.
liked by because.official and 712,923 others
>comments
ynnationlovebears: GIRL...
because.official: aww he looks so cute hubs 🥺 - carlossainz55: ❤️
iggyagaelabeef2: OH MY GOD SHE'S GOING TO KILL U
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The situation was awkward. Pablo was wise beyond his years, he understood the situation - but his difficulty understanding it was obvious. He wasn't comfortable around Carlos, who until yesterday didn't even exist in his little world.
"Give him time." you comforted the older man.
It felt strange, comforting a man who was the reason of your sorrow. He was the reason that you didn't feel confident in your own skin, in your own face, because he thought that someone was better.
You spent these past years trying to look for the faults that he found inside of you, because if he could cheat on you, the next one could.
"Until yesterday, he didn't even know that you existed." you scoffed, attempting to avoid his guilty stare. "I don't know what I'm looking for - or what he likes. Children are a tough crowd." he chuckled nervously, mentally cursing Kirkman for leaving the both of you.
There was a silence, only interrupted by the slight sound of rain on the background. It was obvious that you had nothing in common. You had no desire with being friends with him. "I posted him on instagram, is that fine?" he broke through the thick atmosphere.
You licked your chapped lips.
"Yeah."
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notdanielricciardopriv: this is so scary 😭
liked by 7 others
>comments
notmaxv33: Slendrina - notynln: a lotta nerve from someone singing gagadegadao with my son ??
landofanbasebutreallandonorris: IM SO SCARED RIGHT NOW PLEASE DON'T KIDNAP ME - notynln: 😭
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ynworldupdates: I literally don't understand why Carlos Sainz Jr. decided to cheat on the most beautiful woman in the whole universe 😭😭 like SHE LITERALLY PLAYS TARGARYENS FOR A LIVING MAN!!
liked by 829 others
>comments
birdsofafeather83: literally mother mary incarnate
holypoodlesticks: i want this woman to play a divine goddess
alex_lnc: that's why i love women, men will always CHEAT
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>comments
floppiana83: "that makes her a good friend" MAX YOU ARE NOT SLICK HAHAHAHAHAHA
arianabanana: And they get married and have kids
inchident01: go to 2:01 I'm sensing a crush
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"Charles told me that you were ignoring Carlos' messages." Daniel sits beside me, his face filled with concern.
"I didn't know how to react, okay." you groaned.
A few days ago Carlos posted a picture of Pablo. Your son's face was in full view, everyone began to critique his features - even the looksmaxxing community had a lot to say. It was a boy! A child!
"If you didn't want him posting P - then you should've told him in the first place." he responded, trying to play devil's advocate. It only added more to your fury. "The deed was done, someone probably already saved it - I couldn't just ask Carlos to delete the picture."
"- plus, you know how I get with confrontation." you breathed.
He was about to respond, but he sees your crestfallen face. The same curve of your lips that you miserably wore when you lost a game of UNO, or lost an acting role that you've been pining for.
"I hate him for what he did, but I miss him like a little kid. He makes me feel so stupid and useless."
" - when I'm around him, I can't help but think about my mistakes. I could've been better - maybe then, Pablo would have both of his parents." you sobbed, burying your face in his chest.
Daniel takes a deep breath.
"It shouldn't come from me ... but it's tough being a mother. Carlos can afford to make mistakes, no one will hate him for it - but it's unfair once you're the one who does." he comforted.
Between all your friends, Daniel was the only one who knew how to comfort another person. He was a blessing. A warm teddy bear.
"I-I just wanted to give Pablo the change of having privacy. His father and I never had that as kids. I know how tough it is being in the spotlight, I thought he'd understand." you sighed.
This was another lesson.
"I'll tell him next time." you nodded to yourself. A human being can make mistakes, but as a mother, it's best to not have any.
I've got to learn how to put my foot down.
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yn.ln: a lot of you don't know this but me and @maxverstappen go way back.. i've seen the interview, thank you for calling me a good friend 🤣💚 ps. we first met each other when we were 5 and i'm pretty sure he forgot about me until we met again at 17 🤣
liked by danielricciardo, maxverstappen and 83,293 others
>comments
helaenaslawyer: OH MY GOD ?? SHE LOOKED LIKE RHAENYRA WHEN SHE WAS A KID...THE HOTD CASTING DEPARTMENT NEVER MISSED
emmadarcy: OMG 🔥
maxieworldf1: never beating the sibling allegations
maxverstappen: Have you always been that short? - yn.ln: uhuh mr. tall king? lols
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Carlos was taking snaps of Pablo on his new Kodak camera. The little boy seemed to enjoy being the subject of his father's photos. Daniel nudges your elbows, encouraging you to speak up. "Carlos, will you be posting that on social media?" you inquired.
He looked up with a smile - the smile that used to have you weak on your knees, now instead leaving you with neutral feelings. "If it's okay with you?" his eyebrows merged into each other.
"Uh I actually would prefer it if Pablo stays off the media for a few years, just until he's old enough to make his own decisions." the words slipped out of your mouth like a dam.
His eyebrows raised upwards, surprised.
"Oh I'm sorry that makes sense." his voice sounded defeated, but he quickly returns to playing with his son. You lean back on the sun-bed, flashing Daniel a winning smile. "That was surprisingly easy." you leaned back, watching as he takes a sip of his piña colada.
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yn.ln: this is so 2014 core 🕷 📸 shot by p
liked by maxverstappen and 821,239 others
>comments
helaenaworld: this awakened something within me
holdmybeer: pedro alonso, stephanie beatriz, cm punk, carlos sainz I GET YOU...
bandanaqueef: O M G O M G O M G
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formulaonewagsupdate: because and y/n l/n in one boat?
liked by 82,239 others
>comments
becausefanbase: i get it why carlos cheated HAHAHA
hotpotcentauri: Why does Y/N always look so awk? - ynlncloset: y/n l/n does not belong to you because, mainstream media and parties do... - callmeadefender: She's literally the most charming of all of the ladies in that boat 💀
babyohh: to be a fly on the wall during that yacht ride.
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next part>>
thanks for the support guys. pt. 3 will focus on the yacht ride.
IDEAS FOR THE FUTURE ENDGAME ARE STILL OPEN, JUST BECAUSE THIS CHAPTER IS MAX AND DAN CENTRIC DOESN'T 100% MEAN THAT THOSE DRIVERS ARE ENDGAME.
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hellenhighwater · 3 months
Note
Why all the stars on stuff? Both in your house and in the sculptures.
It's true that I will take the thinnest possible excuse to make anything celestial themed; I will own up to that without shame.
I don't know if I can put it into words. Astronomy was a big part of my childhood--my dad was president of a local astronomy club and we spent a lot of summer nights at a little observatory in the middle of nowhere, chasing lightning bugs and watching supernovas. I learned to make model rockets and how to navigate from the North Star, and that the constellation of freckles on my left arm was only three stars short of Orion. That feeling of warm wind over the fields, the serenity and wonder of staring skywards, will never quite leave me.
But also, as an agnostic person, there's something about the stars that I find so hopeful and isolating all at once. As far as we know, we are the only things in the universe that look at the stars and wonder what other worlds may wait. The cataclysmic power of infinite suns, and none of them wondering if they are alone. The endurance of billions of years of time and space and the eons of distance light has crossed to meet our eyes, looking upwards into darkness, telling stories that turn the nuclear fury of distant galaxies into nothing more than the memorial of a human hunter. Pinpricks of light that will outlive the entirety of our species, named only on our breath. They're a tether to every one of our ancestors, who looked up into the field of diamonds and marveled, and every one who will come after. A star is the ultimate proof that creation and destruction are inexorably intertwined, that utter failure and collapse is not an ending, that light continues on.
In the emptiness between them is the persistent promise of entropy. The reminder that life, for all its glories, is finite, and darkness is not. The warning to savor what hope crosses the deep oceans of universe to reach us, because even that will not last forever. Entropy, the great hunter, will lay stars and souls down in the same grave someday, and all things will end no matter how we fight it. There is a comfort in knowing that whatever awaits us past the final flicker of life spares nothing, not a single cell or a galaxy entire, all of us entering the great mystery together.
We, the stargazers, are the cosmic elite--we alone look out at the universe, which, for all its splendor and vastness, has no eyes to gaze back at us. We alone have the privilege of sapience, not only to exist in the whirl of fireflies in the endless night, but to know it, to get to revel in its beauty, for the momentary flicker of our existence. And still there is hope that we are not alone; that the universe is so incomprehensibly enormous that the statistical impossibility of existence has occurred more than once; that maybe someone else out in the beyond is assigning meaning to our sun.
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roturo · 9 months
Text
⋆⭒˚。⋆ SHE'S BACK! PT2
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GUESS HE COULDN'T KEEP IT IN, SO HE HAD TO KEEP IT INSIDE! (again)₊˚⊹♡ dilf!gojo satoru x teacher!reader
tags: smut, unprotected sex, breeding kink, size kink, jealous!reader, jealous!gojo, fluff, creampie, squirting, matingpress, age-gap, reader is described as way smaller than gojo, tummy buldge, teasing, use of nickanmes, overstimulation, dumbfication, fluff, gojo has an ex-wife, yuuji is gojo's son...
PART 1
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Life is fun.
To say you’ve been having the best months of your life would be an understatement. Starting to know Go- Satoru Gojo has been a rollercoaster of emotions. Mostly the age difference. It wasn’t that big, but 7 years was enough for people to talk. And now that he’s turning 32 people have been checking on him for no stop. You guess he was pretty famous when he was younger, at least more than now. 
Even though he is older than you, he’s a ray of sunshine full of brightness for this sad gray world. He finds fun in the sadness, and that’s why every time you see him, not only his eyes shine because of his beautiful blue orbs, but he makes your life shine with how good he makes you feel.
Another day being a teacher wasn’t like any other- But now you have this pink haired kid running across the classroom, and even though you don’t let your personal ‘persona’ interrupt in your job life, you couldn’t stop from falling into your lover son’s cuteness. But you don’t have favorites! At least you don’t say it out loud…
Satoru always trusted you to keep Yuji Itadori with you whenever he had some extra work to do– and he would spend time with you, sometimes at the classroom while you finish some work, or on special days both of you go out for some ice-cream.
But now Satoru hasn’t called or sent a message. 
You were kinda nervous- Your turn was over and you were waiting for everyone to go home, but you were still wondering what was going on with Yuji.
“Hey cotton-candy, is your daddy coming for you?” You asked the little boy, leaning down to have his attention. Not that you needed it much, you know this kid was about to be as tall as his dad.
“Uh, well…” the kid looked up, shifting your gaze too, looking towards a beautiful woman with pink-ish hair and hazel eyes. holy shit- she really looked like Yuji- maybe she was his-
Mom. Standing next to fucking Yuji’s daddy.
Gojo Satoru.
“Yeah?” He called out your name, you were too lost staring at the couple that you never realized you said his name out loud. Shit. Giving the fakest smile to ever exist in this universe you bowed to both of them, while saying your greetings towards Yuji’s mom.
The little kid called your name, losing the soft grip from your hand and while he ran towards his parents. Real. Real parents.
“Look! Mom and daddy are together! They’re taking me to an amusement park because of my birth-day!” His birthday is next week. You know- you have it in your calendar. But you suppose he wanted to spend a day with both of his parents at the same time.
Does she know you’ve been fucking her hus- ex-husband? And you guess she knows about you by the way she looks at you with a sour face, masked with the hypocrisy of a ‘capitalism smile’
“Oh! You must be Yuji’s favorite teacher- Him and Gojo love talking about you.” The sound of her voice almost made you puke, but the moment she places her hands on Gojo, you swear something inside you exploded. You couldn’t tell how he was feeling- your mind full of how you’re getting yourself out of this situation, and maybe out of the city too.
Are they getting back together? Does he still love her? Is he playing with you?
Does he also have that ‘capitalism smile’? Do you have to be at their economic level? The fuck.. why you’re feeling like this! You and Gojo haven’t even officialized any titles for your…. relationship?
Gojo sensed the change of atmosphere once he saw you staring at them with a lost face. He didn’t intend to come here with her. But he didn’t trust her with you. Your shoulders were tense, that fake broken smile you give to people that have hurt you but way too afraid to speak up towards his way. That kinda broke his heart. 
And what angered him the most, was when the witch laid hands on him. He also felt like he was about to puke, way too disgusted with this encounter that it was almost an instinct when he rapidly moved his body- But at the time he did that, a voice called out your name, making you shift your gaze to the sudden voice.
A tall blonde (not as tall as him), buff, (not as buff as him), with formal clothes he could easily identify that were old but classic- nothing like his style. He was not boring. Came walking towards you, waving at you and later placing his hand in your fucking lower back before both of you paid attention to the family infront of you again.
“Oh- I’m sorry. This is the school principal, Mr. Kento.” He might be overreacting, because a principal shouldn’t be this close towards a teacher, his blue eyed-gaze piercing holes into his face, clearly criticizing any aspect that came from him and fit his mind.
Everything after that was like a bullet piercing his head. Getting in automatic mode to survive this awkward encounter and finish the day as soon as possible. Obviously missing the fact Mr. Kento was married and you were his bridesmaid. 
Gratefully the next was saturday- not losing the chance to get drunk and convince yourself that yesterday didn’t happen. You kinda have problems.
Gojo was worried you didn’t answer any of his calls in the morning. Instead, he went looking for you at your house- using the extra pair of keys you gave him. He was practically married to you. At least what he thinks. 
But he couldn’t understand you. Not once he entered the room and found you staring at the TV, your phone long forgotten somewhere. He called out your name, obviously worried about you. Thank god you showered and cleaned yesterday’s mess. “Baby- Are you okay? What’s wrong?”
“Are you getting back together?” 
“With who? What are you talk-”
“With her.”
Gojo gave you a breathless laugh after the last words came out of you before embracing you with his arms. Feeling the heat radiating from his body, the sun to your moon. “With that witch?-- Ppft”  His chest pressed against yours while he chuckled at your assumption. “Why would I ever go back to her, or even meet other women when I have you?”
He felt the tears coming out of your pure eyes wetting his shirt, before his hand traveled and caressed your cheek– kissing away those awful tears that he hated. If he ever has to see you cry it should be– one, because he fucked you so good, or two because he gave you a ring to be by his side for eternity.
“Are you with him?” It’s now his time to ask questions.
“With who?”
“Blonde old guy from yesterday…”
“Oh, Mr. Kento? He’s my best-friend's husband and he's younger than you Satoru” You said while a giggle came out of your mouth and hit his chest with your hand in a light way. 
“Ouh- You tiny thing- How can you hit so hard?” His movements were fast, caging you as fast as possible in his body while he laid you again on your back into your mattress, filling your face with kisses. Seeing you like this was something different to Gojo, it was… more intimate. Your beautiful smile is all for him to adore. Seeing your small body compared to his affected his brain chemistry, leading his blood all down into his cock. 
“I can’t stop wanting to kiss you when you smile, because I want to steal it from you.” His words went straight to your heart, making you blush and avert his gaze from you. “Don’t hide my love, please- let me show you how much I need you.”
His kisses were tender, starting as pure pecks until those pecks turned into trying to claim you as him all over your neck– making you whimper only by his touch. “Maybe we should fullfish Yuji’s wish of giving him a small sister- what do you think?”
“Satoru…”
“What? He keeps rambling about you even when his biological mother is around. Kids his age don’t know how babies are made- but I would gladly show you how and keep you full of my cum everyday just to make sure, y’know?... fucking you here, at mis house… ffuck- at your desk… whenever I have the chance baby.”
Whimpers became moans once his hand reached your trembling core searching for release. Moving your panties to the side– “Sshit baby- You’re so.. wet.” A moan came out of you when his fingers went back to his mouth and he thrusted his covered hips into yours– also searching for friction.While he undressed you and himself too. “Wanna keep you full and nice f’me. So everytime you sit down you think of me. I would love to see your body once I get you pregnant– Ffuck- Scratch that. I would love to wake up every morning by your side. Wake up because of the cries or sounds of our kids. So be a good girl f’me and get pregnant and wifey just f’me, yeah?... fucking yyeah…”
His voice echoes inside your brain, being a trembling mess once he ponders inside of you. Keeping it there just for a moment and feeling him twitch because of how good you make him feel. His thrusts went feral once he truly realized the size difference and the bump forming in your tummy every time he thrusted inside you. Leading one of your hands to rest on your tummy. “Ya feel that? Yeah baby honey… I’m gonna fill this up with my cum- and you’re just gonna take it.” You were a rambling mess once he pressed hard in that spot- Trying to move his hand away from there because the abuse your g-spot was receiving.
The only coherent thing coming out of you,’ah, ah~, ah’ while he dumped his cum inside of you. Still rock hard and full to do it again. His arms engaged with your legs to have better accesses to your pussy, feeling his cock way goo deeper than the first time– taking you in a masting press.
“Fill me up again ´toru…” And oh shit. That made him go feral. His thrusts were erratic and unsynchronized, but each time you swear you could feel him inside your throat. He knew how to use his thing. Your orgasms were not like the other ones you had before. Coating your sheets and Gojo’s pelvis with your liquids– heavy breathes trying to accompany you while Gojo reached his high while you received him like a good girl even when he could barely fit it in again because of your intense orgasm. 
He would always whisper cute things in your ears after sex. Making the both of you laugh with adventure you were slowly creating with him. The family you were creating. And now? His talk while cleaning you up was about baby names 
A/N: this was an experience... the sex was A LOT for me, i never want to hear the word cock again.
taglist: @sirachano0dles @4imhry @chimmysoftpaws @philiatothephobia @xthatpottahfanx @chaotic-tnt
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chilling-seavey · 4 months
Text
Dreamland (ln4) - Part Two
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↳ A/N Thank you to my girl @grandprixwinnerlandonorris for delivering me like 5000 pictures of Lando in a button up at my request and, as always, being the proofreader for this universe hehe
↳ [Loosely] Inspired By: 'Don't Wake Me Up' by Why Don't We
↳ Summary: With a freshly purchased copy of your most recent book in hand, Lando is one of the first in line for your book signing when your tour brings you to Bristol. Having dreamt about you for months, he’s more than nervous to actually speak to you in person but he certainly gets more than he bargained for
↳ Pairings: Fanboy Lando Norris x Famous!Author!Fem!Reader (NO use of y/n), University Student Lando x Internet Friend George x Internet Friend Alex
↳ Word Count: 20.7k
↳ Warnings: 18+, NSFW, not elaborating on details here for the sake of spoilers!, dirty talk gets nasty, Lando's so incredibly down bad for a girl who doesn't know he exists
PART ONE
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Lando stared at his reflection in the mirror as he tucked his button-up shirt into his black slacks, eyeing up each inch of himself for the uncountable time that morning. He tugged at the fabric of his shirt that was bordering on a size too small, hugging his torso just a little more than he'd like, silently willing it to not make him look absolutely ridiculous. He tried to take a few deep breaths as he fed his black belt into the loops on his pants and fastened the buckle at the front but even his hands were feeling a little shaky with nerves. 
As spring melted into summer, Lando’s semester was coming to an end just when your newest book tour was to begin. He had his eye out for any England dates the moment the tour was announced and much to his relief, there was a local date on the schedule. Much to his absolute horror, however, he had a final exam assigned that very same morning. With the help of his two closest internet friends, Alex and George, Lando planned that day down to the minute in order to attend his exam while still making the book signing in good enough time to get a good spot in line.
His 11:00 class was across campus and for the first time almost ever, Lando was the first one there. He looked far too dressed up for someone about to take a practical exam but he had some very important things to do right after class and thus was prepared to wear his best clothes no matter what. He had someone to impress, after all. 
By 2:00 on the dot, the exam was complete and Lando - who had been waiting impatiently at his desk with a finished exam in front of him - nearly ran out the door the moment they were dismissed and he threw his papers on the professor’s desk on the way past. The university hallways were annoyingly crowded and Lando was pushing past people to make it to the transit station down the street to catch the 2:16 bus, his backpack slung over one shoulder in his haste. 
It was a stunning day in comparison to England’s usually drizzly weather and the sun was tucked behind picturesque white clouds that made Lando feel like this entire day was a dream. He figured the weather cleared up into beautiful skies for the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. He was anxious to see you in person after so many long months of distant adoration. 
The bus was still at the stop when Lando ran across the street without a second glance to catch it, pulling his wallet out of his pocket as he did so and flashed the driver his transit pass as he hopped inside. Lando breathed out a soft ‘thank you’ to the driver for waiting for him and then he went to find a seat. The bus lurched forward and he caught himself on one of the poles before swinging himself into an empty aisle right by the large window to catch his breath. 
It was a bit of a drive into the city so Lando pulled out his phone and turned on his data to refresh his messages on Instagram. The group chat was waiting for him.
alex_albon: Good luck, mister accountant!  georgerussell63: Good luck mate! Get this shit out of the way and you’ll get the best reward later 😏 alex_albon: Hahahaha alex_albon: Mate are you done yet?? alex_albon: Did you make the bus?? georgerussell63: RUN LANDO RUN georgerussell63: Love how we don’t care about how his exam went, just that he catches this bus alex_albon: We have great priorities  georgerussell63: Yeah I don’t want this wedding suit I bought to go to waste y’know  alex_albon: Mate I’m literally so sad that we couldn’t go with him georgerussell63: I know georgerussell63: We look like shitty wingmen now alex_albon: Never! landonorris: MADE THE BUS!! landonorris: I don’t even remember what the fuck my exam was even about I was rushing but I made it landonorris: Waterstones, here I come!!!! alex_albon: YESSS!!! georgerussell63: LETS GOOOOO alex_albon: Fit pic?? What did you go with??
Lando glanced around him to make sure no one on the bus was looking as he snapped a picture of his chest and lap to show his outfit to his two friends. 
landonorris: *sent an image* georgerussell63: Yesss mans looks dashing alex_albon: If she doesn’t jump at you across that table, there is something wrong with her landonorris: Oh my god there’s nothing wrong with her landonorris: Just wanna make sure I look my best landonorris: And she said once she likes guys in dress pants so… georgerussell63: You wore dress pants landonorris: Lol yep alex_albon: You’re a complete simp, Lan alex_albon: Love you for that landonorris: I just hope I don’t freeze up or embarrass myself landonorris: I’m going in all alone here lol alex_albon: You literally have all the backup from us through your phone georgerussell63: Definitely!  georgerussell63: What’s your game plan anyway?? landonorris: Idk really landonorris: I don’t want to come across too fan-y landonorris: Tell her she’s a literal genius  landonorris: Tell her that she’s stunning landonorris: That her books are the only ones that I actually read alex_albon: And that you want her to mother your children georgerussell63: HAHA landonorris: If it moulds smoothly into conversation, sure LMAO landonorris: I’m just trying to not get my hopes up for earth shattering conversation or anything but it’s hard georgerussell63: Just be confident and be you georgerussell63: You’re literally a great guy so she’s bound to see that
Lando glanced up from his phone for a moment as the warmth of the afternoon sun hit his face and he peered out the window at the busy city traffic that had slowed the bus to a near stop. 
landonorris: Bruh we just hit traffic alex_albon: Oh shit how far are you georgerussell63: Can you walk it? landonorris: No way still too far
Lando pressed his face against the glass to attempt to see farther down the street if the traffic would clear but it wasn’t showing much at his angle. 
landonorris: Shit I’m literally panicking landonorris: I need to see her today like I can’t miss this georgerussell63: Panicking won’t help just take some breaths alex_albon: I’m putting so many positive vibes into the universe right now georgerussell63: You’ll get there, don’t worry landonorris: The signing is over at 4 and it’s already pushing 3 landonorris: Oh my God I’m going to cry alex_albon: Noooo! No crying no crying alex_albon: Traffic always feels like it takes longer than it actually does georgerussell63: Yeah! Just go over your gameplan a bit! Distract yourself alex_albon: You have the book with you already right landonorris: Yeah ofc landonorris: Bought hardcover off her amazon site last week landonorris: Honestly this was her best one yet georgerussell63: You say that about every book she releases lol landonorris: Mate no this time I mean it landonorris: There was this chapter that was so fucking hot I had to take a cold shower after georgerussell63: PFFF omfg  alex_albon: No spoilers!! I haven’t read it yet landonorris: Haha okok sorry landonorris: Hurry up though because I want to talk about it with someone georgerussell63: Mate I graduate in a week and then I’ll read it I swear alex_albon: We didn’t have to rush to read it because we’re not the ones about to MEET HER georgerussell63: AYYYY landonorris: 🥰🥰
The next stop that was called through the bus speakers was Lando’s - much to his relief - and in quick surprise he reached up to pull the cord to request the stop. He slid his phone back in his pocket and stood up with a secure hand on the bar as he walked towards the doors before the bus had even stopped, already far past impatient to get to his destination already. When the doors slid open, he called his thank you to the bus driver and hopped out onto the busy Bristol sidewalks in the afternoon sun.
landonorris: brb finally on foot now
Since living outside the city for most of his life, Lando was familiar with his way around and he barely even needed the directions from his phone to help guide him towards the nearest Waterstones bookstore. Well, also partially due to the fact that he had gone over his route almost every day since the book tour dates and locations were announced. 
Lando reached the book store just after 3:00 and there was still an insanely long line looping from the front doors of the store and down the sidewalk. Lando paused in place for a moment, his heart sinking at the time in comparison to the number of people still waiting, and it wasn’t until a stranger bumped him out of the way that he snapped back into place. With a shaky breath, Lando hurried down the line and took spot at the end behind two girls who were about his age as well. They each held copies of the new release and were flipping through it together and talking between them about the plot. 
Lando cleared his throat nervously and leaned slightly towards them, “Excuse me, this is the line for the singing, right?”
They both looked back at him with smiles suddenly flat as if his interruption was distasteful, and they gave him a look up and down, lingering on his scuffed up white Vans on his feet. 
“Yeah.” one answered finally. 
Lando pulled a tight smile and nodded once, “Great. Thanks.”
He felt a little stupid standing in a line of teenage and young adult women as the only few males were so clearly only there to accompany their girlfriends. But the momentary out-of-place feeling was soon replaced easily by nervous excitement as Lando caught a glimpse of the sign on the front window of the store that showed your most recent professional headshot and the announcement of the book release and signing; “TODAY ONLY!” it read. 
Lando was nearly silently begging to make it inside, to at least get a glimpse of you in the flesh, although a small part of him was rising with so much nervousness that he kind of hoped he wouldn’t have to face you. He didn’t want to run away now, not when he came so far. 
landonorris: *sent an image* landonorris: In line now!! Look how fucking long this thing is alex_albon: She’s going to be saying that about you someday! georgerussell63: ALEX LMAO  landonorris: Pfjfjf stop omg landonorris: I’m literally the only guy here though georgerussell63: That’s good georgerussell63: Makes you stand out! alex_albon: More those stunning good looks already do georgerussell63: You are damn right, Albono 😌🔥 landonorris: I’m so fucking nervous boys georgerussell63: Blimey you know he’s serious when our jokes don’t make him laugh alex_albon: Focus on that confidence!! You got this mate
The line was moving slowly but surely and Lando was soon stepping into the front vestibule of the store. He swung his backpack around to unzip it and pull out his hardcover copy of the recent release and then zipped his bag back up again. His was one of the only few hardcovers in line - he noted that the girls directly in front of him and behind him had paperbacks - and that fact brought a strange sense of pride to his consciousness. There weren’t too many people in line behind him as time was drawing closer to closing but the distance that Lando still had to the signing table was vast and his nervousness of meeting you was starting to mould into nervousness that he wouldn’t meet you. 
He was too anxious to even check his group chat messages and he tried to stay as in the moment as possible, rising up on his tiptoes to see if he could get a glimpse of the table where you had been sitting for the last three hours. Other fans rushed past him on their way out the door, bearing signed copies of books and over-the-table selfies on their phone screens and Lando tried not to let the jealousy overcome him. Impatient jealousy wasn’t a good look and Lando tugged anxiously at the front of his collared shirt a little to get some air across his body, hoping he wasn’t about to nervous-sweat through his shirt. That would have been embarrassing.
The line inched up some more and as Lando’s spot moved into the store completely and past the main aisle towards the lounge, he was able to spot you in the distance. It was almost like he scared himself at the fact that he saw you and he dropped back down onto his flat feet from his tiptoes with a soft gasp, eyes wide, heart racing. The two girls in front of him gave him a weird look before turning back to their conversation. After his initial shock, he rose up onto his tiptoes again to see over the shelves of books he would never read across the store and let his eyes find your table at the head of the line. 
You were in a black blazer and an emerald green buttoned blouse and your hair fell in natural waves over your shoulders and Lando swore to himself that you looked even more beautiful in person than on Instagram. He clutched your novel to his chest and rested back on his feet again, biting his smitten grin to the carpeted floor of the bookstore. He didn’t want to look away from you as if he had to soak up each second like it was precious. He didn’t have long and who knew when he was going to see you again. 
As quarter to four approached, the line felt no shorter and Lando was getting antsy and his feet were getting sore from waiting around for so long. He was about at the spot where he didn’t have to lean to get a good look at you and his eyes stared right at you almost without blinking like the simple sight of you put him in a trance. It almost felt like he was dreaming. 
You were so happy, smiling at every person who passed over their copy of your book for a signature and talking to them graciously and modestly accepting compliments. Lando swore your polite little laugh was the sweetest sound and he was completely yearning to just get to the front of the line already. 
But then another woman approached you at your table and leaned down to whisper something to you as you smiled in parting with the girl who just received her book back. You nodded to the woman who Lando recognised as your assistant from a few of your Instagram stories and then you stood up from your chair to address the crowd. 
“Sorry, guys, I know you’ve been waiting a while but I have to take a call really quickly. Give me a few minutes…I’ll be right back!” 
Lando swore his heart nearly stopped in the momentary fear that your initial apology was about to be followed with a ‘times up’ but he took a deep breath and checked the time. It was 3:53 but he would wait for you for as long as you needed, he didn’t mind one bit. 
He opened Instagram again for the first time in a little bit and checked the messages from his friends,
alex_albon: Any updates for us?? georgerussell63: Yeah how close are you? alex_albon: Lando?? georgerussell63: Omg he’s probably talking to her right now alex_albon: He probably is  alex_albon: I’m literally so excited for him georgerussell63: This is insane!!!! landonorris: She’s so beautiful landonorris: Not at the front yet but close alex_albon: Jeez that’s a long line georgerussell63: It’s almost 4…are they going to cut you off?? landonorris: Idk idk idk landonorris: 
Lando’s attention was pulled from his messages to the conversation of the girls who stood in front of him in line. 
“We’ve literally been waiting for an hour and she just blows us off for a fucking phone call.”
“What a bitch.”
“Everyone with a blue check on Instagram is the fucking same.”
“So entitled, honestly, she takes our money and then dips.”
Lando spoke up before he could even think, jumping strongly in protectiveness, “Hey. Don’t say that.” 
The girls turned to him with mirrored expressions of annoyance and surprise at his sudden interruption. 
Lando continued, “She literally just had to take a call. Can you give her a few minutes? She’s been sitting here all day for us.” 
One of the girls snorted in sarcastic amusement at Lando’s defence, “Okay, whatever.”
The other added, “Do what you want, but I’m not waiting here like a fucking lameass follower for her to take a phone call like she’s entitled to make us stand around like sheep.” 
They both didn’t give Lando a second look before they were stepping out of line and walking right out of the store. A few more people did the same as 4:00 came and went and it honestly shocked Lando that they weren’t ready and willing to sit by and wait a few more minutes for her…shocked that a few people thought it was a ruse that she played off to leave early. But Lando waited even as the line thinned. He would wait until store closing if he had to. 
By the time you returned to the table, there were only six more people in front of him and one behind him and Lando was trying so hard not to grin ear to ear at simply the sight of you. As if nothing was different and the line wasn’t measly now, you still looked just as content there at your table with a sharpie in hand, offering casual conversation to each person who approached. 
It was nearly 4:30 by the time Lando was next in line and as if reality hit him all at once, his feet wouldn’t move the moment your eyes locked with his. 
“Hey.” you said sweetly. 
Lando’s left foot scuffed over the carpet in an attempt to walk and then he forced himself towards you, “Hey.” 
Despite his racing heart, he was grinning so wide and his obvious excitement had you smiling right back from your chair as you held out your hand to take his book. 
“How are you?” he asked nervously and passed over his copy of the novel. 
“I am doing well, thanks so much for asking.” you replied easily. 
He watched you carefully as you set the novel down so gently on the wooden table top, perfectly square with the edge. 
“A hardcover. They’re my favourite too.” you said with a smile and brushed your hand over the crisp clean cover and then opened it to the first blanket page. “Haven’t seen many of these today.”
“I noticed.” Lando said. “I don’t know why because your hardcover designs are just so fucking stunning. I don’t know who’d choose a paperback.”
You chuckled softly, “Exactly. Glad to know someone has taste.” 
“It’s hard not to when you are literally a genius.”
His copy of your novel left open to the inside cover in front of you, you shared casual conversation for a moment - something he noticed about you was that you never rushed anyone when they were at the table with you. Lando didn’t want to take up too much of your time either, you were already over your time limit. But you listened politely to him, sharpie tucked between your fingers and wrist resting on the open book as he spoke. 
“I don’t read, like, ever…but the moment I skimmed the first page of your first novel I was completely hooked. I couldn’t tell you a single thing about any other book in this entire store. You just write in a way that completely speaks to me like nothing else ever has.”
Lando didn’t even know what he was saying as his words tumbled from his lips for him. 
“That is so kind.” you smiled bashfully. “I’m glad I could offer you some kind of entertainment in a style that you don’t normally turn to.”
“Entertainment? God, you offer me entire worlds. I wish I had an outlet as strong and promising as yours.” 
“What do you do as your outlet?”
Lando hadn’t expected to talk about himself but of course he was going to answer your question,
“Oh, uh…golf, I guess? Racing? Video games…”
It sounded so stupid coming out of his mouth as he said it - how incredibly lame and boring. 
“Racing? Like, cars?”
Lando’s smile brightened, staring right back at your pretty face, “Yeah, something like that.”
“That’s impressive…and it could make for an interesting plot. Maybe I should write a book about that…you might have just inspired me.” you wagged the end of your sharpie at him with a mischievous grin. 
Lando’s cheeks turned a fierce pink and he scoffed bashfully, “Nah.”
“I mean it! If I ever need any race-related questions answered for research purposes, I know who to call.”
Lando laughed lightly, “Yeah, for sure.”
You glanced back down to the book and tapped the blank page awaiting your pen, “Who am I making this out to?”
“Lando.” 
“Lando.” you repeated in the most gentle tone that it nearly made his knees weak. He had dreamt about how his name would sound coming from your lips for so long but hearing it directed at him so softly, so tenderly, he had to refrain from clutching his hand to his heart in sheer adoration. He also had to refrain from imagining you breathing it into the air just like that in bed but that was a bit more dramatic. 
“How’s your day been? I got so excited about the hardcover I forgot to ask.” you chuckled as he watched you sign his name in silver sharpie on the dark inside page and scribbled a little message before signing it yourself at the bottom. 
“Oh, my day is amazing now.” Lando said easily, “Bristol is usually so disgustingly dreary but I’m glad it’s sunny for you.”
“I’ve heard it’s usually quite rainy. Guess it’s a bit of luck then.” you smiled up at him. 
You closed the cover of his copy of your novel and held it back out to him. 
“Thank you so much.” he rushed out as he took it back. “I’m sorry you had to stay after your time.”
“Oh my gosh,” you waved your hand like it was no big deal, “there’s nothing I love more than this so it’s my pleasure. Plus staying around longer means I got to meet you, so…”
Lando literally blushed pink so obviously that you could see the hint of colour across his cheeks and his little bashful smile had you grinning up at him. It wasn’t often you had boys come out to see you and certainly not the likes of interested and attractive young men who actually read your content. It nearly made you feel just as pink in the cheeks too. 
“Did you want a selfie or something?” you asked. 
Lando stumbled over words for a moment as he had completely forgotten that he could ask that and he pulled out his phone, “Yeah, sure.” 
He carefully hid the fact that you were his wallpaper from your sight as he opened his camera app and turned to have his back to you. You leaned up to rest slightly over the table and smiled to the camera as he clicked a few pictures. 
“Oh, I look…like shit.” he mumbled to himself as he turned back around to face you once more and you sat down. 
He hadn’t expected you to hear but you did so you offered an honest polite, “You don’t look like shit at all, I think you look really good.” 
Lando literally breathed out a shocked, “Oh my gosh.” 
You giggled softly at his surprised expression. 
“Th-Thank you.” he stumbled out and petted a habitual hand over his hair-sprayed curls as he looked down at his outfit. 
“I love the slacks.” you gestured across the table. 
Lando nearly lost it at the fact that you were basically staring at his dick and he held the hardcover book in front of himself casually, and answered with a passé, “Thought I’d actually dress a little nice for your event.”
“Yeah? Well you look very nice.” you complimented, “A very successful choice.” 
“Thanks.”
You held up your index finger to him, “One sec.”
The one person behind him was still waiting close by and you held out your hand welcoming them to come over. Lando shifted to the side a little and tried to control the heat of his cheeks as you took the next person’s name. It was a mother waiting for the signing as a gift for her daughter so she didn't really need to stick around long after simply getting a signature and after a few shared pleasantries, the lady was off and Lando was the only one left. 
“Sorry, I just thought I’d get that poor mother on her way.” you chuckled. 
“For sure.” Lando smiled tightly. 
“Looks like that’s my day then.” you sighed, stretching your arms above your head for a moment, and then leaned under the table to pull out an empty cardboard box. You started to load your leftover copies into it - only a few remaining - and Lando jumped at his opportunity. 
“Do you need help packing up?”
Surprised at his offer, you glanced back up at him with a little laugh, “I’m not going to make you do my work.”
“I really don't mind. I don’t have anywhere else to be.”
You thought for a moment and Lando nearly held his breath in anticipation for your answer. 
Finally, “Alright…if you’re sure.” 
He honestly grinned and tucked his book and his backpack on the ground carefully beside one of the table legs and started to stack up the remaining few novels as you tidied your pamphlets and extra sharpies. Your hired assistant took the half filled box across the store to return it to the cashier for re-stocking, finally giving you and Lando a moment just the two of you on opposite sides of the now empty table. 
You stood from your chair and tucked it back under while you checked your phone habitually and Lando picked up his things from the ground. He tucked his book in front of his slacks again coolly. 
“Where are you headed now? More publicity meetings?” Lando asked. 
You glanced up at him as you slid your phone into your purse with a sigh, “Nope. Dinner and then hotel. Quiet evening for one tonight.”
“Your assistant doesn’t join you?”
You chuckled softly and picked up your tote bag to sling it over your arm, “No she’s kinda older than me so she does her own thing. I don’t mind. Means I can explore the city as I wish.” 
“Do you…want some pointers on the best places in Bristol? I’m kind of an expert.” Lando offered. 
“You want to be my food tour guide?” you chuckled, “I was just going to eat at the McDonalds down the street. I’m not much of an extensive-palette kind of eater.”
“Oh, neither am I.” Lando agreed quickly, passing off the fact that he already knew that about you quickly, “But if you’re in Bristol, you gotta do it the right way. You like Italian?” 
Your eyes narrowed at him in thought and you cocked your head to the side slightly, a smile teasing at your lips, “My favourite.” 
“Then you have to try Giovanni’s. It’s not far from here. Like a kilometre north or so. Their pizza is, like, incredible.” 
You contemplated his offer with a casual, “Just a kilometre from here?”
“Yeah. You can’t miss it. Any taxi driver will know if you just give them the name.”
“Yeah?”
“Yep.” Lando swayed onto the balls of his feet and then back, his nervous eyes lingering on your unreadable expression of amusement as you stared back at him. He pressed his luck, “I can…show you if you want.”
You smiled at him softly as you looked at him down the bridge of your nose, “I dunno…I don’t really know you.” 
“You know my name. What else is there to know?”
You laughed lightly, “You could be a murderer.” 
“So could you.”
“Touché.” 
Lando figured he was grasping for straws with his offer and hardly even took himself seriously until suddenly you were sitting across from him at a table for two at Giovanni’s Italian Restaurant. He hardly remembered the taxi ride from the bookstore or even you agreeing to have dinner with him honestly and part of him felt so hazy like this was some sort of cruel realistic dream. His phone was the last thing on his mind but he managed to send a quick update to the group chat as the hostess led you to your table. 
landonorris: Giovanni’s  landonorris: dinner landonorris: ttyl
With his phone on silent, he was ignorant to his best friends’ spam of confused messages as they knew he should have been finished with the signing by then and they had yet to receive proper updates of how it went. Usually Lando messaged them while he was eating his meals so his sudden disappearance was certainly odd. 
But how could he even think about looking at his phone when he had you sitting across from him in the warm light of the cozy Italian restaurant to look at. It was no fancy venue but it was better than a McDonalds and Lando had to constantly remind himself that this wasn’t a date but this also wasn’t a dream. 
You looked so casual skimming the menu, tucking your hair behind your ear before resting the side of your finger against your lips in thought. They were little habits that social media didn’t permit him to see and now he just couldn’t get enough of you, sitting right in front of him in your business casual outfit and free flowing hair. He felt greedy for wanting you closer. 
The waiter approached the table to take drink orders and you glanced up to place yours first, “Whatever your house wine is…I’ll have a glass of that, please and thank you.”
“May I see your ID?”
“Of course.” you fished it out of your purse and passed it to the waiter to double check. 
When he handed it back to you and turned to Lando, Lando shifted nervously. 
“Just…a water, thanks.” he asked. Playing it safe. 
You tucked your ID back into your purse and offered a casual conversation, “Maybe I should have had water too but after a full day of work, I think I deserve a drink.”
“You do.” Lando chuckled, “You deserve to celebrate.”
“If I used that excuse anything like this signing happened, I may be considered to have a drinking problem.” 
Lando chuckled lightly, sharing in your smile, and when you turned back to your menu, he kept staring at you. 
“You said the pizza is good here, right?”
He hummed in agreement as he rested his elbows on the table and his chin in his hand and shamelessly kept his eyes on your entire being. The warm light looked so good on you and it took a lot out of him to not think about salacious thoughts that often rose to the surface when he stared at a picture of you for too long. He was just lucky that the table covered enough of his lap.
You glanced over at him with your offer, “Do you want to share one?” 
As if in kindergarten again, the concept of sharing brought a flutter to his heart, “Yeah, sure. That sounds great.”
The waiter soon returned and you let Lando choose the pizza to order and with that placed, you were left with your drinks and a moment of silence. You sipped your wine and he sipped his water, keeping his eyes on the table. 
“Did you not want something better than water?” you asked. 
Lando shifted in his chair and chuckled awkwardly, “Uh, no, that’s okay. I’m not much of a drinker…don’t really know what to order that won’t taste like shit.”
Your eyes widened, “Shit, oh my God, wait, you are of age, aren’t you?”
“I’m twenty.” Lando assured you quickly.
You set your hand to your chest, “Jesus, okay, good, I almost had a heart attack there…I saw the frightful headlines already.” 
“Like what?” Lando laughed, “Calling you a cougar?”
“Oh, gross.” you shuttered, “Yeah, prying on the youth of my following.”
Lando rested his chin in his hand again and he smiled over at you, “Nope, I’m perfectly legal.”
“Good.” you chuckled. You glanced around and then slid your glass across the table to him, “Try some if you want.”
Lando’s eyes went wide and he sat up a bit straighter, “You sure?” 
“Yeah.”
Lando sent you a small smile across the table and he lifted the wine glass from the table and took a sip. He licked his lips as he set it back down and you left it between you to share. 
You smiled warmly over at him. He wanted to look back at you but your lingering stare made him nervous and he sat with his hands folded on his lap with his gaze downcast to the tabletop. The restaurant bustled around you with other patrons talking and cutlery clinking against plates but Lando felt like the two of you were in your own little bubble. 
Breaking the silence between you, you spoke, “Do you perm your hair?”
Lando’s head snapped up to look over at you in surprise, “What?”
You gestured across the table to him, “The curls? Is that your natural hair? It’s a really nice style on you.”
Lando was speechless for a moment, mouth literally parted slightly in shock, and when he regained himself, he spoke his honest confession to you, “Yeah. Yeah, this is my natural hair. I’m surprised you like it.”
You raised your eyebrows, “Why surprised?”
“I dunno,” Lando mumbled, tracing the rim of his water glass with his finger, “I figured you were, like, not really into the messy curls kinda look.”
“Why?” a smirk tugged at your lips, “Because of my boyfriend?”
Lando looked to his plate without a word as his heart clenched with that awful tightness that came with the heartache of the mention of your relationship. He was hoping you wouldn’t bring him up - guess it was too good to be true.
“Wanna know a secret?” you rested your forearms on the table to lean towards him, “I trust you.”
He glanced back up at you curiously and nodded lightly, hazel eyes wide with wonder of what you were going to admit to him. 
“He’s not actually my boyfriend. It’s a PR relationship.” 
Lando could have fucking rejoiced out loud in that moment and he audible sighed in near relief as he slouched back in his chair, “Oh my gosh, I knew something was fishy.” 
“We were dating for real but when it kind of fell off, our managers kind of just said we should keep it going because the followers shipped us or whatever the hell. I’m never around him if we can help it. It’s just awkward now.” 
Lando, surged with a strange feeling of protectiveness, leaned over the table himself too, “Why would they make you do that if it makes you uncomfortable?”
“I dunno. It’s fine though. My readership goes up from overlap with his fans and whatever so the selfish part of me benefits.” you chuckled with a shrug. 
“But you can’t publicly date then? Since the world thinks you’re taken?” 
“No, but that’s okay.” you waved your hand casually as if to brush it off, “I’m kinda too busy for all that right now with my book tour and stuff.”
You both reached for the glass of wine at the same time and shared nervous giggles when your hands brushed. You offered him the next sip and he ignored the warm reminisce of your touch as he lifted the glass to his lips and sipped the bitter woodsy red wine before passing it over to you. He couldn’t tell if his cheeks were red from simply being around you or if they were red from the bit of alcohol but you were no different. There was something so intriguing to you about Lando, this random young man who lined up for your book signing and seemed to care far too strongly about you and your work for his own good. It flattered you greatly and you didn’t want to see him go. 
By the time your pizza had arrived and you were well into casual dinner conversation, any hints of shyness had disappeared as you were both falling into comfort in each other’s presence…maybe the wine helped a little with that, just enough to take the edge off. Lando was talking about his degree he was working towards and life at college while you shared the best stories of how many times you were declined trying to get published for the first time. With only just less than a year between you, you had quite a bit in common from growing up and although life took you in different paths, it was interesting to hear the other side of things. You had to admit it was a nice change from the common whiny influencers you had gotten too used to sharing conversations with. 
Lando could draw you in with just his voice, soft yet just perfectly deep, he was only enticing you more and more with each sentence. Not to mention the way he spoke about your writing like he was just as proud of it as you were, rambling on for so long about each book, each character, each deeper meaning, and you went back and forth about your writing until the pizza was gone and the shared glass of wine was empty and the sun had gone down over Bristol. 
The waiter set the bill on the table between you, tucked neatly in a leather pouch. You reached for your purse but Lando was already grabbing the bill and giving it a skim over. 
“I got it.” you offered. 
“No, it’s okay.” Lando reached into his backpack that was resting at the foot of the table beside him and he pulled out his wallet with his credit card. 
“Don’t be ridiculous, I can pay for dinner.” you chuckled. 
Lando smiled boastfully over at you, “Nope. My city, you’re a guest. I’m paying.”
“Well then I wouldn’t have ordered such an expensive glass of wine!” you tisked. 
“Then it was very good that we shared it!” Lando whispered across the table at you as the waiter returned with the debit machine. 
You only smiled at him and shook your head in defeat as Lando paid the bill on his student income and he did so proudly, without hesitation. When the waiter left once again and wished you both a pleasant night, you thanked him and then looked across the table to each other. 
Lando’s heart ached slightly at the thought of having to say goodbye as the night came to an early conclusion but he smiled softly at you, ignorant to how you were thinking the exact same thing. 
“I’m just going to sneak off to the bathroom. I’ll be right back.” you said. 
Lando nodded you off and watched you walk across the still busy restaurant to the washrooms. He finally pulled his phone from his pocket for the first time all evening, having missed an unreadable amount of pestering messages from his two best friends. He only took the time to read the most recent two,
alex_albon: Lando what the fuck mate where are you?? It’s almost 7 georgerussell63: Holding back the updates is one thing but let us know if you are at least back at your dorm landonorris: I took her for dinner landonorris: Can’t really talk but I swear I’ll tell you everything the second I leave georgerussell63: WHAT alex_albon: ARE YOU JOKING?? landonorris: IM LITERALLY NOT JOKING landonorris: WE SHARED WINE AND EVERYTHING alex_albon: HOLY SHIT LAN georgerussell63: WAIT IM LITERALLY FREAKING OUT georgerussell63: How did that happen??? Oh my GOD MATE your plan literally WORKED alex_albon: Get her number!! Or at least her follow on ig! landonorris: I'm gonna try
When he saw you emerging from the bathroom again he typed a quick reply to his friends before locking his phone again and tucked it into his pocket. 
landonorris: Gtg talk later
You returned to the table and sat back down, sending him a polite smile as you did so. Always one to take notice of every little thing about you, Lando silently noted your tidied up hair and re-applied lipstick and his heart did a little jump at the concept that maybe you tried to look good for him. 
“What’s your plan for the rest of the night?” you asked casually. 
Lando shrugged, “Nothing. I was just going to go back to my dorm and make dinner by myself and eat it by myself and watch Netflix by myself.”
“Wow, our plans sounded really similar then.” you teased. 
“Yeah, apparently.” Lando chuckled. 
You both hesitated a moment, glancing out towards the front windows of the restaurant that looked out over the darkening city streets of Bristol. Lando felt at a loss for words, nervous suddenly, and he was thankful to still have his water on the table as he took a long drink. He was just so handsome to you and only seemed more so as the night went on from being the hesitant fanboy at your book signing to the young man you shared a glass of wine with at dinner. 
Lando looked back at you and you shared tight, slightly awkward smiles as if neither of you wanted to say goodbye first. You weren’t someone to often go out with strangers so this was uncharted territory for you and Lando seemed just as uncertain of himself in a similar sense. You just kind of wanted to see how far you could push it without crossing boundaries. 
“Listen,” you cleared your throat bravely, looking right at him with a hopeful smile, “I dunno if you’re comfortable with this but…if you want, you can come back to my hotel with me. Maybe we could stick with our individual ‘watch Netflix’ plans but…together.” 
“Really?” Lando’s eyes widened. “Are you sure?”
“If you want to.”
“Yes. Absolutely.” he assured you almost quickly. 
“Okay.” you bit back a smile. “I’ll call an Uber.” 
“Sweet.” Lando grinned, although he had to turn away from smiling too wide. 
Maybe this was his chance, he thought, to actually make a bit of a move; why else would you be inviting him to your private hotel room after all? This was the last thing he had prepared for that morning and he had no clue what he was going to do with himself if anything went any farther than even a kiss. He didn’t want to absolutely embarrass himself in any way, certainly not around you. His inexperience was apparent and he was just hoping he could play it off enough to not look like a clumsy idiot. 
Waiting at the curb for your Uber, Lando was standing right at your side. He intentionally stood close to you until he could almost convince himself to reach out and brush his fingers over yours if he really wanted to. He had his backpack slung over one shoulder and your purse and tote were on your opposite arm from him, your gaze looking back and forth down the street for the arrival of your Uber. Lando kept staring at you in the city light, disbelieving that he was really standing right there with you and about to go back to your hotel after a dinner for two. Life was unreal in that moment. 
His eyes drifted down your side to where your hand rested casually at your side and he just had to reach out and brush his pinky against yours. You glanced over at him with a small smile and nudged him in return. 
“You probably hear this a lot,” Lando mumbled, “but you’re so beautiful.” 
His gentle words left an unmissable flutter in your heart and you bit your lip as you stared right back at him. Sure, you had been privy to bountiful comments on social media or haphazard compliments in passing over the last while you had been in the media spotlight, but none that sounded as genuine as Lando’s just did. 
It was out of your mouth before you could think, “Do you mean it?”
Lando was taken back by your confirmation as if he couldn’t imagine you or anyone not knowing, “Yeah. Of course, I mean it. You’re literally the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. Your Instagram does not do you enough justice because holy shit…” 
He faded out when he caught himself rambling but you just smiled in near adoration at his sweet complimenting words that went straight to your heart and the flutter that warmed deep within your body. You didn’t want to admit that a near stranger was turning you on but he was so polite and genuine and handsome and you couldn’t help it. 
“Can I kiss you, Lando?” 
His breath nearly shuttered in his chest with the suddenness of his gasp, and he stumbled out a promised, “Y-Yeah-”
On the nearly empty quiet city street, you reached your hand up to link your finger in the collar of his shirt and you pulled him even closer. Lando wasn’t a stranger to kissing but he certainly hadn’t overhyped a kiss as much as he had in his thoughts about his first kiss with you. When your lips met for a moment, you both stood perfectly still as if to savour it, as if to not cross any unspoken lines between you. You were still strangers after all. 
Lando’s fingers ghosted hesitantly over your waist as his lips locked with yours for a few long seconds and then pulled back just long enough to go in for one more together. The plushness of his sweet lips had your stomach in eager knots but you forced yourself into restraint as you broke your kiss after only a few seconds and rested your hand down against his chest, feeling his heavy heartbeat under your palm. 
“Wow….” Lando breathed out of your kiss. 
His eyes found yours under the streetlights and he licked his lips free of the taste of you left behind, lingering with the bitter reminisce of rich wine. He was thankful you were focused on his face because he no longer had your book in his hand to cover the front of his slacks that were now feeling much tighter around the crotch. It was pathetic really, how he got hard so fast and from so little, but to be fair he had been dreaming about that very moment for months. 
You took your hand from his chest with a cheeky little smile of your own and turned back to the road as your Uber approached. Driven by greed, Lando reached out and linked his pinky in yours, just to keep you close as long as he could. You glanced back at him with a small smile before getting into the Uber and he followed behind you eagerly. 
You knew to be discreet in public since your image was only growing with passing days so you had to let go of his hand when you got into the Uber, being extra cautious as the driver kept glancing in the rear view mirror at you. Lando clutched his backpack to his lap, arms wrapped around it, and his gaze focused all on you, not even bothering to be discreet about it. He was in complete awe of you but so innocent and ignorant to the tightrope walk it was to be in the public eye. To him, he could have said or done anything right there in the back of the car but you were silently praying he was smart enough to keep his mouth shut. 
Lando liked to think he could read you well and your obvious tension the moment you stepped in the Uber had him on high alert. It was as if a switch had flipped in your persona and although you made sure to send him a small reassuring smile, you were clearly putting up a divider between you two. It made him nervous, treading in uncertain waters. 
It was a fifteen minute drive to your hotel, crossing over the river that ran through the city and past the bookstore that only three hours before he was lining up cluelessly for your book signing. Lando swore this was a dream and his lips tingled with desire to kiss you again, to get his hands on you properly like he had always imagined. You looked so pretty in the passing city lights and he was so fucking hard. 
When the Uber pulled up to the front of the hotel, you thanked the driver politely and you both climbed out of the backseat. You hopped up onto the curb with him and led the way towards the front doors of the Marriott guided by the red outdoor carpet. Lando felt like a true vip…even though he was embarrassingly trying to hide the obvious bulge in his slacks that he was surprised you were yet to notice. Gladly surprised, however. 
At his side when you walked through the sliding glass doors, you whispered, “Don’t make it obvious.”
Lando nearly stumbled over the front carpet in surprise, “Make what obvious?”
“That we’re anything apart from, like, business partners.” you mumbled. “Don’t do anything to give anyone ideas.”
Lando shook his head quickly, his heart racing in his chest that maybe you thought you had something to hide with him, “Of course. Of course.”
The man behind the front desk glanced up as you walked in and he greeted you both politely. You offered him a just as pleasant greeting before walking as casually as you could towards the elevator bay. Lando couldn’t hide behind his backpack and still make himself look passé and it wasn’t until you were both safely alone in the elevator that he felt like he could breathe. 
“To the outside world I have a boyfriend, y’know.” you explained, pressing the button for the sixth floor, “So bringing some random guy back to my hotel room can be seen as a little suspicious.”
“Yeah.” Lando agreed coolly as the door slid shut behind you and he looked up to the small screen that counted each floor passing by. He was desperate to figure out a way to tame his little situation before you noticed and it got embarrassing. The only bad thing about wearing dress slacks was that it made it so obvious. 
You glanced over at him, a good few inches of space lingering between you, “You okay?”
Lando met your gaze cluelessly, that haze over his face as if he were in disbelief that this was real but then looked away again, “Yeah.”
“You got quiet on me.” you pointed out. “You can dip out whenever you want…if you’re uncomfortable or just wanting to go. I won’t be upset.”
Lando looked back at you quickly, “No, I don’t want to leave at all.” 
“Okay.” you nodded gently, almost fearing that he was lying to you. 
He could see that you were overthinking his answer so he told himself to suck it up and confess his truth, “I just really want to kiss you again…and I didn’t know if I should.”
“You can.” you offered as casually as you could muster despite the heavy beating of your heart. 
You both looked at each other again, meeting gazes before dropping your eyes to each other’s lips as if out of habit. Lando didn’t need much more persuasive consent from you than that and he reached up to take your chin in his hand - like he had always dreamt of - and met you halfway for another soft kiss. You hummed gently against his lips, both of you lingering still for a moment before pulling back just quickly enough to move in for another, lips slotting together ever so slightly. His lips were pillow soft and nearly sweet, you swore, and you raised your hand up to slide over his chest and around the back of his neck. 
Lando was nearly dizzy with shock as he kissed you more, parting your lips with his own to deepen it, sharing slow open mouthed kisses that had you nearly breathing into each other’s mouths. He had spent so long imagining your lips that the real thing was nearly sending him into cardiac arrest. It was everything he wanted and more and he cradled your jaw in his hand, caressing his thumb over your cheek tenderly as you stepped a little closer to him in the elevator. 
Lando opened his eyes a little, as if having to double check that you were still really truly there with him, and he just smiled into your kiss at the sight of your pretty lashes resting on sweet cheeks. The elevator doors dinged as they slid open and you both pulled away from your kiss quickly, both grinning like fools, and you swiped the corner of your mouth with your pinky to make sure your lipstick wasn’t too smudged. Lando had a little bit of the reminisce of your re-application on his own mouth and he wiped it with the pad of his thumb just to see the warm pink colour that was smudged across his skin as if to prove his reality. 
Your hand fell into his lazily and you linked your fingers together as you pulled him out of the elevator and onto your floor. Lando traipsed behind you with a lovestick grin all over his face, rubbing his thumb over your fingers that were tucked casually around his and he felt like a million dollars just from a single thirty second kiss. 
As you fished out your room key from your purse - a task requiring two hands free - Lando greedily let his fingers trace the sinch of the blazer at your waist and down the black fabric to the slight curve of your hips. He made sure that no one else was in the hallway with you before he bravely swiped your hair over your shoulder and leaned in to kiss your neck. 
“Oh fuck.” you giggled in surprise, squirming away from him a little. 
“Sorry.” Lando hurried out, eyes wide. 
“No, it’s okay.” you assured him as you swiped your key and pushed open the hotel room door for you both, “I’m just not used to someone trying to turn me on in the middle of a hallway.”
Lando’s cheeks flushed a brilliant red at your cheeky statement and he was literally at a loss for words, his mouth opening but nothing coming out. He was turning you on? His sudden speechlessness had you laughing breathily and you linked your fingers with his once more, swinging your joined hands between you for a moment in the open doorway.
When you looked at your hands, your eyes were drawn to the bulge in the front of his slacks that was more than obvious. You bit your eager lip and looked back at his face, “Wanna come in?”
“Fuck yes.” Lando blurted out, only making you laugh again as you pulled him into the room and let the door shut behind you. 
The moment you were closed in the hotel room, you both moved in for more kisses, your hands sliding around the back of his neck and his wrapping around your waist. Once cautious and gentle, your kisses were moulding into impatient and hungry and you couldn’t help but lick your way into his mouth teasingly. Lando moaned softly into your kiss, raising a hand up to cradle your jaw again, and he gladly pushed his tongue against yours to meet you halfway. 
He didn’t feel like a stranger to you anymore - to Lando, you never felt like a stranger - and driven by the lust that grew within you, you only seemed to crave him in ways you never would have expected when you met him only three hours earlier. He physically pushed you back against the wall just inside the door and at impact you were groaning pleasantly against his lips and tongue with his body pressed to yours. You seemed to fall into some sort of rhythm together with your heads tilted ever so slightly to the left to let your lips lock between messy tongue filled kisses, bodies almost moving ever so slightly against each other in time with your lips. 
You tangled one hand in the back of his hair with ease and dropped your other to his waist to tug his body closer against yours until you could feel his erection poking against your thigh. Lando ground into you habitually, moaning into your kiss that was led equally between the two of you and his fingers pressed greedily into your hips under the material of your open blazer, his backpack still slung over his one shoulder. 
You slid your hand down his neck to his chest and pushed him back from your lips for a moment to ask breathlessly, “Just checking that you are actually over eighteen, right?”
Lando was already moving his clumsy kisses down your neck, “Almost twenty-one. On Saturday.”
“Fuck, okay,” you breathed, tilting your head back to give him room to kiss your neck and he nibbled right up under your ear, making your knees nearly go weak. You tried to play off your question despite the arousing overwhelm that was growing inside of you, “Not that you look like a teenager…I just…gotta check.”
Lando didn’t even have time to laugh at that because he was so damn focused on what was going on and he could only mumble out an “I know” before pressing his fingers to your jaw to turn your lips back to his. 
You both moaned into each other’s mouths, breathing in steady time, and you arched into him hungrily as your hand grabbed at the side of his neck. Lando’s arm snaked around your waist to hold you close just like that and his lips smacked wetly with yours, pulling more pleading moans from your throat with each tongue-led kiss. Your hips rubbed against his front slightly and his breath shuttered between kisses for a moment, fingers pressing tighter into your waist and he looked down between you to watch how close you stood together, still fully clothed. 
“You got hard so fast.” you whispered. 
Lando restrained himself from explaining that he had been growing hard from simply the sight of you since he first stepped foot in the bookstore that afternoon if not for simply looking at your pictures on Instagram over the last while. His eyes just focused on your lips, swollen from his kiss and smudged with your thin application of lipstick, and he spoke softly, “You’re just so fucking gorgeous…difficult not to get hard when you’re looking at me like that.”
He had so many smooth lines from his plentiful fantasies that involved you and of course he had to put them to the test before he got too in his head to remember any of them. That one seemed to work because you were giggling breathily and pulling him close by the side of his neck to lock your lips again. Lando swore you could take over every inch of his body and soul with ease but in that moment, he wanted nothing more than your mouth on his, kissing him like you were honestly meant to be there with your tongue working right up against his. 
It was such a rush into the hotel room that you both still had your bags slung over your shoulders and Lando slid his backpack down without taking his lips from yours, discarding it to the other side of the hallway. You followed his lead and dropped your tote bag and your purse to the tile floor too without breaking your kiss, keeping your one hand around the back of his neck to prevent his lips from leaving yours for anything longer than a second. 
Within his fit of determination, Lando guided you away from the wall and started to walk you farther into the room carefully to avoid tripping with his attention so distracted by your lips. His hands pushed your blazer from your shoulders and you gladly let him toss it across the carpeted bedroom floor before you were unbuttoning your blouse. You desperately tried to keep kissing as you undressed and Lando pulled his shirt off and dropped it to the floor before your blouse was joining it within seconds. 
“Holy shit.” he literally whined into your kiss as his eyes stayed open to try and get a good look at you. Shamelessly, your breasts were always a bit of a weak spot for him in most of your Instagram pictures so seeing them really, truly in front of him was unbelievable. You kept kissing him no matter how much he was trying to look at you, your hands sliding down his bare chest and to his faint abs that you gently scratched your fingers over to make him shiver. 
“You’re so sexy.” you whispered into his mouth before grabbing his waist to pull his body against yours again as your teeth nipped at his bottom lip, “Touch me.” 
Lando exhaled sharply at your order and you let his lips go so he could properly look at you, wide eyes staring down at your chest pushed up in your black bra. His hands glided up the curve of your waist, over your warm soft skin, and his fingertips ghosted over the lace of your bra as if afraid to touch. It pushed your breasts up so addictingly full and he literally licked his lips as he stared at you and cupped his hands over your chest. His wide eyed wonder had your gaze lingering on him for a moment, trying to read his expression as more than the male desire to look at breasts and instead thinking if maybe this was the first time he had seen any. 
“Sit down.” you instructed gently, taking hold of his wrists to steer him against the side of the neatly made king size bed. 
He sat. His eyes stayed on your chest and his hands reached for you once more. 
You let him touch and squeeze your breasts in your bra as much as he pleased because you were taking to his belt right after. Lando’s quick gasp was obvious and you looked him right in the eyes as you unpinned the buckle and then popped the button on his slacks. 
“You tell me to stop at any point if you want.” you whispered. 
Lando nodded and leaned in to kiss your lips again, playing his inexperience off with a casual, “You too.”
You just giggled softly and unzipped his slacks and tugged open the front before kneeling on either side of his lap. As your kiss broke, Lando’s hands slid around your waist to your back and his wide eyed stare locked on your chest that was nearly in his face. When you lowered down onto his lap, he bit down on his bottom lip in anticipation and when you started grinding on him a little, his hands gripped tighter to your waist. 
“Holy…” he groaned out softly, gaze unwavering from your breasts in his face. 
You moaned softly at the feeling of his clothed erection pressing up against your dress pants, right over your clit, and the friction was unbearably addicting. Greedy slow rocks of your hips back and forth had Lando trying to restrain himself from smothering his face in your chest, his eyes wide with lust. He couldn’t tell which one to look at, licking his lips, and his large hands followed the motions of your hips lazily. 
“Do whatever you want to me.” you whispered to him. “You can touch my tits if you want.” 
Lando’s big hazel eyes blinked up at you like a sweet little puppy and his teeth sunk down into his bottom lip as his mouth formed an eager smile, his hands sliding down the back of your pants to grab your ass with your given permission. 
“That’s it.” you breathed, still grinding down on his lap.
He pulled you into your motions harder and he groaned softly as he leaned in towards your chest. Tongue first, he licked testingly between your breasts and with your soft exhale, he tried again over one of them before sucking gently on your skin as he moved back. You raised your hand up behind you and unclipped your bra and Lando’s breath nearly froze in his chest as the lace fabric fell away to expose you to his eager eyes. 
“God, you’re so fucking beautiful.” he breathed, taking his hands from your ass to grab your chest. 
“You like my tits?” you asked sweetly. 
“Yeah.” Lando groaned, squishing them together before leaning in and nuzzled his face between them. He absolutely showered you in kisses as you laughed lightly at his eagerness and ran your hand through the back of his hair, still grinding down on his lap slowly, watching as he licked and kissed and suckled at your skin. But when he finally wrapped his lips around one of your nipples and sucked on it roughly, you audibly withered, your head falling back for a moment at the sensation. 
Lando’s eyes raised to yours as his teeth tugged at your nipple teasingly and you met his gaze again, “Does it feel good when I do that?”
“Mhm.” 
“Yeah?” he moved back in to suck on the other one, mimicking his same actions and pulling back with a little bite. “You have such pretty tits.”
You giggled lightly, “Thank you.”
Lando dropped his hands back down to your bum as you kept grinding on him back and forth, and he kissed wetly at your breasts a bit more before peering down between your bodies. You both still had your pants on although his were unzipped and resting open tauntingly and he moaned softly as he bit his bottom lip, watching you rub yourself down on his aching boner with almost four layers between you. 
“Mm, that feels so good.” he whispered. “Can I take my pants off?”
You nodded him on and leaned up on your knees to give him room to shuffle his slacks down his legs and he kicked them across the floor. It was only then that he noticed the full length framed mirror on the wall across from him over your shoulder and he mouthed ‘oh my God’ to himself as he watched you drop back down onto his lap. His hands gripped your ass and pulled you into your motions stronger and with your arms wrapped around his shoulders you dipped down to kiss his lips. You shared pleasant moans, tongues welcome into each other’s mouths as the sloppy sound of your kisses filled the hotel room with your heavy breaths. 
“Fuck, baby.” Lando groaned out of your kiss as his head tilted back for a moment to breathe. 
You kissed down his neck and his thumbs bravely tucked themselves in the back of your dress pants and started to pull them down over your ass. 
“Can I leave hickies?” you asked against his ear. 
“Fuck, yes.” Lando answered easily, honestly excited for you to leave your mark on him. 
You licked over a spot on the side of his neck and tangled your finger in the back of his hair to pull his head to the opposite side to give yourself more room. Lando just watched through the mirror over your shoulder as his hands rested on the curve of your bare ass, greedy eyes exposed to the burgundy lace of your panties that was as rich red as the wine you shared with dinner. His nose scrunched up at your first gentle suction and you tugged at his skin a little more and he withered slightly, hands gripping your flesh a bit tighter. 
“Ohh, my God.” he groaned. 
You pulled back from his neck with a soft slurp of spit and left one last lick over the forming bruise before blowing a gentle puff of air across it just to make him shiver. You both shared almost eager little grins as you moved back in to kiss him and when your lips locked, Lando couldn’t help himself but wind his hand back and slap it back down against your ass. The small yelp you let out had him rubbing his hand over the spot soothingly but you just whispered a ‘harder’ into his mouth instead. 
“You’re so fucking dirty.” Lando mumbled, staring you right in the eyes as he spanked you harder. 
“Do you like it?”
“Yeah, I love it.” Lando bit back his grin. 
He went to lean in to kiss you again but you slid off his lap and shuffled off your pants all the way before sinking to your knees between his legs. Lando���s eyes only widened more and you kept his gaze as you placed a careful hand over the front of his black briefs, only giving him the smallest pressure against his aching hard cock hidden underneath. 
“This okay?” you asked. 
“Mhm.” he nodded, resting his hands on the bed behind him to watch your hand rub slowly over the tent in his underwear. His eyebrows were furrowed in disbelieving concentration as if trying to sear into his memory the sight of you touching him just like that, his hips rising slightly from the bed to nudge up into your touch habitually. 
Your fingers ghosted across the taut fabric of his underwear up to the top of the bulge formed underneath and then you wrapped gentle fingers around it. Lando’s mouth fell open silently, still staring down at you as you rubbed him over his briefs with a secure grip around the girth of his clothed cock. 
“You’re so hard.” you whispered up to him, leaning in to press a careful kiss over the black fabric, “You feel big.” 
“You can take it out.” Lando offered, trying to play it cool while on the inside his heart was nearly racing out of his chest. 
“Yeah?” you bit your lip up at him, stringing him along a little longer, “And then what? Want me to put it in my mouth?”
“Fuck.” Lando choked out, “Yes.” 
His obvious eagerness had you smiling and you slid your warm palms up his stomach and leaned in to press slow open mouthed kisses down his abs and right to the fabric of his underwear, pausing to lick teasingly at the little line of hair that disappeared into the waistband. He shuttered under your touch and you just bit back your own excited grin as you slowly started to pull his underwear down. It rested around his thighs for a moment as you let yourself take in the sight of him, how his dick stood tall in front of your face, angled up so perfectly it nearly made you moan out loud. 
Lando was slowly shying under your silent stare and he reached a hand out to cover himself but before he could you were dropping out your tongue and licking at the tip. 
“O-Oh my God.” Lando choked out, his thighs flinching slightly. 
“You have a gorgeous dick.” you whispered up at him, wrapping your hand around the base greedily to hold him still as you dragged your tongue right up the underside. 
Lando was almost scared to touch you as if it would somehow make you stop and his right hand was held clumsily in mid air as his gaping mouth stared down at you in his lap. Your eyes met his as your lips wrapped around the head of his cock and you sucked on it lazily, gently, teasing him a little more. When you pulled back again, you let a string of spit dribble from your lips and down the shaft of his dick to meet your hand as you started stroking it slowly. 
“Oh my fucking God.” Lando breathed shakily. 
Your hand was so much better than his own, so soft and gentle, simply yours, and he stared at your motions as if in complete disbelief. You gave him slow twisting strokes up and back down, letting your eyes take up every inch of him as you licked your lips at the sheer size of him.
“You’re huge.” you complimented as you dragged his underwear down his legs completely and he helped to kick them off his ankles and across the floor. 
Lando never really thought to compare himself to others so he never really knew where he stood but honestly you could have been completely lying to him and he would have believed you. Your voice was a drug to him. Your touch was addicting. Your mouth was even better. 
The moment you took him in your mouth, Lando was whimpering shakily and his hand that was once hovering in mid air raked through his hair to grab a tight fistful to restrain himself. You kept yourself slow, pushing down on him carefully and easing back up with a snug hollow of your cheeks that was gentle for him. He had tried to play it cool but his obvious inexperience was oozing out of him and you saw that well. You didn’t want to call him out and embarrass him so you just took it slowly and made sure he was comfortable. 
With a soft moan, you kept your mouth and hand working together and Lando audibly withered as if his eyes were physically going to roll back in his head. 
“Is this a dream?” he whispered, mostly to himself. 
You giggled as you pulled back from his cock, letting your hand take up the motions that your mouth once was, “Not a dream, baby.”
Lando swore there was no better sight than you between his legs and he hesitantly slid his hand through your hair as if to make sure you were really there. You smiled up at him and then lowered down again, keeping your hand stroking his dick as you sucked gently on his balls one at a time. 
“Oh my God.” Lando gasped out. “Shit.” 
“Feel good?” you asked after licking back up the underside of his dick. 
“Yes.” 
You smeared the tip of his cock over your pursed lips, bubbling out a bit more spit to slick him up some more and then you pressed your tongue right under the head just to see how his nose scrunched up in pleasure. He whimpered so prettily and you nearly grinned as you fed his dick back into your mouth, shaking your head to get him to hit the back of your throat. When you gagged, Lando’s hand gripped tighter at your hair and his head fell back with a lingering groan, only breathing harder in steady time with you as you started bobbing your head again. 
As his moans got louder, you moved slower before finally pulling back from his lap with a deep inhale, leaving him sighing shakily. 
“Why’d you stop?” Lando asked quietly. 
“Because I don’t want you to cum yet.” you answered easily and reached up to grab him by the back of his neck and pull his lips to yours. 
He moaned into your kiss as his tongue fought against yours with fierce desire and both of his hands cradled your cheeks to hold you close. Without breaking your kiss, you stood up between his legs while still stroking him off lazily and he shuffled back farther onto the bed to let you join him. You placed yourself on his outstretched thighs, arms wrapped around his shoulders, and his hands pulled you closer by your ass until his cock was pressed up right against your clothed clit. 
Lando’s hands groped your ass strongly and he moaned hungrily into your mouth as if chasing your breath for more. He was desperate for your touch and to feel every inch of you but the gentleman in him just had to speak up before his inexperienced brain could really process his offer. 
“Want me to eat you out?” 
The offer nearly started himself as much as it took you by surprise, his instant regret pouring through his veins at the sudden remembrance that he would have no clue what the hell to do down there on you. The last thing he wanted to do was make a fool of himself and prove to you that he was a measly virgin. He had no clue you suspected it. 
“That’s okay.” you brushed it off coolly between passionate kisses. 
“Mm,” Lando kept pushing no matter how much he was fearing a ‘yes’, protesting weakly into your mouth, “but you went down on me…”
“So what?” you mumbled, grinding up against his cock. 
“Mph-” Lando groaned, voice strained, “it’s gotta be fair-” 
“Who says this isn’t fair?” you tangled your fingers in the back of his hair to gently tug his head back so he was looking up at you. 
Lando only whimpered, “Me.”
You dipped in closer to bite at his bottom lip once, twice, and then gave it a little tug on the third time, making his breath shutter in his chest when you pulled back. His wide eyes were focused in on yours, swollen lips parted sweetly in awe, and when you slid your hand around to his throat, his eyelashes fluttered with a shaky inhale. 
You spoke to him lowly, voice dripping in lust, and Lando could have came right then and there as you told him seriously, “I just want you to fuck me already.” 
“Oh my God.” Lando withered, sliding his hands up your waist to roll your both over gently. 
Still laying perpendicular to the pillows, his lips magnetized to yours almost right away. He situated himself between your legs that you wrapped around his waist and as his dick rutted up against your panties, he could nearly feel how wet you were, soaking through the fabric. You shared impatient moans into each other’s mouths, hung up on each other’s lips, and your fingers tangled in the back of his hair. 
“Do you have a condom in your bag?” you breathed into his mouth, words muffled slightly by his lips. 
Lando leaned back from your kiss just enough for your noses to brush, “No. Do you not have any?” 
“Wasn’t really planning on taking a stranger from my signing back to my hotel.” you chuckled. 
Lando could have nearly cried with frustration as he sat back from you, resting on his knees between your spread legs. You leaned up on your elbows against the neatly made sheets and you could have smiled at his adorable pout that he was trying so hard to suppress as his hands ghosted down your torso and over your thighs. 
“Lando,” you giggled, brushing your foot over his waist to bring his attention back to your face, “Do you wanna fuck me raw?”
His eyes could not have opened wider in shock, “What?”
“If you wanna. I can just stop to grab a Plan B tomorrow.”
“Are you sure?” Lando questioned. Was it concerning that he didn't even fear an accidental pregnancy? To be fair, he had been dreaming about knocking you up for months so the risk was more to his desires than he’d have liked to admit. 
You bit your lip and nodded, “If you’re comfortable.” 
He couldn’t nod faster if he tried. 
“Okay,” you smiled sweetly and held out one hand towards him, “C’mere then.” 
Lando leaned back over you, holding himself up on the bed beside you as his other hand cradled your face to keep your lips on his for more lingering kisses. You couldn’t get enough of his lips, moaning softly into his mouth as they moulded together like perfection. 
“Fuck, I’m so wet.” you whimpered into his mouth, chasing his mouth for one more sloppy kiss as he tried to pull away, “Mm, I want you so bad.” 
Lando stared down at you as he sat back on his knees again and let his hands travel down your body, over your breasts and hips and to the thin lace of your rich red panties. You draped your arms over your head and rose your legs towards your chest for a moment so he could easily pull your underwear off you and then let them fall to the ground, leaving you both completely naked. In the quiet of the hotel room, Lando nudged your thighs open again and got his first real look at the part of you that he swore he was only going to see in his dreams. 
You were glistening wet and Lando stared in wonder at the effect he had on you. Only egging him on more, you dropped a hand down and spread your lips open with two slender fingers so he could see all of you before gliding your fingers between them to smear around your sticky arousal that nearly dripped from your pussy. 
“Holy…fuck.” Lando licked his lips and then took a deep breath. “You are a fucking dream.”
“All reality.” you assured him with a giggle.
He rubbed his hands over your thighs for a moment, contemplating his next move, and you let him take his time. With a soft call of your name and a hum of acknowledgement from you, Lando had one request, “Can you call me ‘sir’?”
You were surprised by the slightly kinky suggestion, something you hadn’t even thought about at all, “You want me to call you ‘sir’?”
“You don’t have to.” Lando assured you quickly, his cheeks flushing pink.
“No…that’s…really fucking hot.” you admitted with a smile.
Lando’s lips perked up at the corners, “Yeah?”
You nodded with a sultry, “Yes, sir.” 
“Ohh fuck.” Lando chuckled through a low groan and he leaned back down over you to kiss you again. 
You moaned contentedly against his lips, swallowing up his tongue against yours, and then let him go with a smile when he sat back again between your spread legs. He shuffled closer to your body and you pulled your legs back a bit more to give him room, watching carefully as he let a thick string of spit fall from his lips onto his dick and he rubbed it in with his hand. 
“How much dirty talk do you want?” you asked softly. 
Lando answered with ease, “Write me a novel worth.” 
“Oh my God.” you giggled, draping yourself back down against the sheets, “I can do that.” 
Lando nudged the tip of his dick against your dripping pussy and the simple action made both of you gasp lightly. He was honestly a little nervous to get inside you, fearing that he’d cum within seconds and truth embarrass himself, so he teased you a little more by dragging his dick between your legs. 
“Shit,” you sighed out, eyes focused on his face as he watched the head of his cock glide between your wet folds, soaking himself in your arousal, “I just need you to fuck me with your big dick.” 
Lando nearly shuttered at your words and his eyes rose to meet your face. 
You reached down your body and gently stroked the head of his dick with your fingertips, tracing the smooth shape and stroking it right at his most sensitive spots. His hips naturally pushed into your touch and he groaned tightly. 
“Yeah, you’ve got such a pretty cock…gonna fucking ruin me with it. Just want it buried in my tight little wet pussy, sir.”
“Jesus fucking Christ.” Lando groaned softly, keeping a tight fist around the shaft of his dick as you nearly petted the swollen pink tip so tenderly. 
“Do you want that, sir?” you asked him sweetly, staring right up at his face as you wrapped your hand around his and brushed the tip of his dick strongly between your folds, “You wanna fuck me into my bed? Watch me take every inch of you?”
“Oh my- yeah-” he stumbled out. Lando could hardly think of words, all his smooth one-liners completely disappeared from his mind as he watched you rub his dick between your legs. You felt so warm and he wasn’t even inside you yet.
“How do you want to fuck me?” you asked softly. 
Lando swallowed thickly, “This is…fine. This is good.” 
“Okay.” you giggled. You took your hand back from over his to spread yourself open for him, urging him in with no words spoken. 
Lando shuffled forward on his knees again and held a cautious hand down against your stomach as he angled his dick between your legs and started to push inside you. You reached down to help guide him a little, making sure he got the right angle with the gentle re-direction of your fingers.
“Yeah, right there.” you breathed shakily, “Keep going.” 
The moment the head of his cock slipped snugly into your pussy, you both gasped softly at the feeling and Lando moved both his hands to grab your spread thighs as he watched himself ease deeper into you ever so slowly. You felt like heaven and Lando had to blink a few times to make sure that he wasn’t dreaming, far too good to be true. It was a feeling his hand could never recreate and he wondered how the hell he could go back to using his imagination after this, after being blessed with how tight and warm you were squeezing around him. 
“Oh my God, you’re so big.” you moaned quietly as you shifted onto your forearms behind you again to give yourself a better angle to watch behind a bitten lip as he slid in farther. 
Lando couldn’t even form words as he bottomed out and his hips pressed snugly against yours, his cock buried as deep as it could inside you. He was scared to move, worried that the moment he started to fuck you that he’d cum in seconds. 
You reached up a hand to wrap around the back of his neck and he raised his eyes to yours as you asked him softly, “You okay?”
“Mhm.” he nodded and leaned in to kiss you. 
His slight movement had his hips nudging against yours and your muscles fluttered around him at the shift and you both moaned into your messy kiss. 
“Fuck, you feel so good.” Lando rushed out in one hurried breath as he pulled back from your kiss and slowly rolled his hips into yours. 
“Slow.” you whispered, sliding your hands around the back of his neck. “Nice and slow.”
Lando’s eyes locked on yours as he eased deep into you again, resting his hands flat on either side of your head, and your mouths fell open together at the feeling. 
“That’s it.” you breathed. 
Lando moaned tightly into his next achingly slow thrust, slipping inside you so easily. You took his face in your hands and pulled him down for more kisses, sharing soft breaths and moans between you for a moment. 
“Can I ride you?” you asked against his lips. 
Part of him was sort of relieved to have you offer to start for him and he pushed a final kiss to your lips before pulling out of you again. You shifted him over onto his back, moving around so he was resting back against the down filled pillows and you tossed a leg over his lap. Lando’s wide eyes soaked you up eagerly and his hands found your hips to pull you closer before he was taking hold of his dick and helped you to angle it right again. 
It was a bit easier to slide into you now that he had already been fully inside you once and you sank right down until your ass met his thighs. His little grunt as you bottomed out had you smiling down at him and he just grinned right back, a dopey little pleasured grin, and his large hands slid up your waist to grab at your breasts. You rose back up just a bit and then lowered back down on him, starting slowly to start him off. 
“Fuck.” Lando squeaked out, eyes focused down his body to watch how you took him all every time you dropped down. He was just getting slicked up in your liquids to the point that every time you took him inside you, it made the filthiest wettest sound that made his mouth drop open. 
“Can I go faster, sir?” you asked breathily. 
“Uh huh.” he nodded. 
He wanted to take you over so badly but his mind was absolutely racing and he could hardly figure out how to form words. You bounced on his lap a little faster but still pretty slowly, grounding yourself with your hands on his chest as the bliss washed over you easily. 
“Mm, fuck, you feel so good inside me.” you moaned. 
Lando couldn’t help but naturally stumble out, “Good girl.” 
You blushed pink at his deep voice praising you so honestly and you squared your shoulders again and held his hands over your chest as you swirled your hips in impactful circles, “You think I’m a good girl, sir?”
The lust that raced through Lando’s veins had him staring up at you with so much he wanted to say and your taunting dirty talk only pulled it from where he had kept it suppressed with his initial shock of pleasure. He groped your breasts stronger and nearly pulled you into your motions by them, “Yeah, you’re a good girl, baby.” 
His protective walls were falling away as he fell into comfort and you bit back your smile down at him as you moved back into bounces, “God, I love riding you. You look so fucking good.” 
Lando audibly groaned, pulling his hands from your chest to grab your hips again and tried to slow you down desperately. But you fell to your knees on either side of his body and tossed your hair over one shoulder to lean down and kiss him, bouncing your hips back on him as you did so. 
“Mm, fuck.” Lando muffled into your mouth, desperately trying to keep kissing you back but it was growing increasingly difficult. He spanked you once before grabbing your ass and tried to buck up into you with a whine. 
You had only been on top of him for not even a minute and he was already about to burst. He was embarrassingly close and if he didn’t stop you and the way you were riding him he was going to cum embarrassingly fast. 
“Stop, baby, st-stop.” he stumbled out, trying not to show how strained his voice was.
You did, stalling your motions as you pulled back from his lips to look at him, “You okay?”
Lando played it off coolly, “Yeah. Just wanna…”
You let him lead you off of him and he got up to take his spot behind you, naturally urging you onto hands and knees. His direction had you biting back a grin and you looked at him over your shoulder as you spread your legs a little wider and he brushed his dick between your folds again. 
“Put it in.” you whispered. 
Lando took a deep silent breath that he held in his chest as he pushed back inside your sinfully tight body. He groaned lowly and grabbed your waist tightly as he couldn’t help but start to thrust into you slowly as if driven by some sort of natural instinct. 
“Oh fuck-” you gasped, hands instinctively gripping the sheets beneath you. “Yes.”
He slapped a hand down across your ass and you giggled blissfully into the pillows as you slouched down to arch your back for him. Taking it from the back, he could hit so deep that his balls smacked against your clit every time he thrusted into you and the slick sound of wet skin filled the hotel room. 
“Oh my God.” Lando groaned through his teeth. “Good girl…take it.” 
“Fuck, sir.” you moaned pleasantly, unable to hide the honest smile from your face. “Don’t stop.”
Lando’s head literally fell back and he mouthed an “oh my God” to the ceiling as if literally speaking to heaven - it nearly felt like he was in heaven in that moment. You…were heaven to him. His hands gripped tighter onto your waist and he pulled you into his every thrust as he tried to hold himself back. He wanted to cum so badly but it was still so soon and he was trying everything in his power to not think too hard about how good you felt and how pretty you sounded. 
“Fuck me faster.” you whimpered, glancing back at him over your shoulder. 
Lando physically clenched his jaw and forced himself faster, shoving into you messily just to make you moan louder into your arm. 
“Yes, yes, yes!” 
“Feel good, baby?” he asked, unsure of his own capabilities.
“So good!” you cried softly, “Don’t stop!” 
Lando could feel himself growing close again and the filthy wet and warm squelch of your pussy taking him all certainly wasn’t helping him last any longer. He honestly tried to think of his exam he had taken earlier that day, his failing GPA, his current assignments, desperate for any thought that would keep him from finishing too quickly. But you were louder than his thoughts and your jagged fucked out moans and whimpers and chants of “yes” were making it increasingly difficult to hold back. 
So he pulled out again. 
“Ohhh.” you whined in protest. 
Lando tried to steady his breathing, his cock aching with need to cum, and he took his time nudging you onto your back and pulled your right leg over your left so your hips were rotated ninety degrees and left your pussy on perfect display for him. It only took a few seconds to get you situated but by then the knot inside him was diminishing and only leaving behind that unfulfilled throbbing. 
“Okay, okay, okay, okay-” Lando breathed, spanking your ass once more before he was grabbing it in his tight grip and then sliding his dick back inside you strongly. “That’s it.”
“Holy shit, you’re so big!” you cried. 
Lando just started fucking you again, holding you down by waist and chest and your head tossed back against the pillows with a loud cry of pleasure. He couldn’t get enough of you, the feeling he had never been blessed with before, and he stared down at you behind a bitten lip and stormy determined eyes that had your mouth dropping open. 
“Oh my fucking God, yes!” you shrieked, tossing a hand up behind you to grab onto the headboard. “Right there!”
Lando had a one handed vice like grip on your breast but the sting of his grip didn’t phase you as you were too hung up on the way he fucked you. His strokes weren’t completely graceful and were certainly infused with an unmissable desperation but they felt so good regardless and the angle he had you at had him hitting your g-spot straight on. Whether he knew that or not was beyond you but he literally had you going quiet as only the sharpest little gasps were fucked from your throat. 
“F-Fuck-“ Lando whimpered, staring right into your eyes. 
The expression you held was driving him crazy, nothing but euphoria spread all over your face with your mouth fallen open and eyes nearly rolling back in your head thanks to him and him alone. You reached one hand down to grab his thigh, fingers pressing into his flesh as if to pull him closer, deeper, to urge him to give you more. He shifted to grab your ass and waist with both hands, biting hard on his bottom lip as he stared down at how you took him all so deep inside you, drenching him each time he pulled back out just to shove back in, dizzy on the wet squish of your body. 
“Yes, yes, yes, yes, sir-” you rushed out, fingernails digging into the back of his thigh from where you held him and your other arm was draped above your head and gripping onto the pillow beneath you, your moans only growing louder and more desperate, “Fuck, I’m gonna cum! Don’t stop!” 
As your pussy started to grip down around him, Lando physically stopped in surprise, his hips stuttering, and he pulled right out of you again with a startled gasp. Your disappointed groan had his wide eyes raising back to your face again. 
“Wanna cum for you.” you whined, reaching down to rub pleadingly at your sensitive pussy, “Please let me cum on your cock.” 
Lando couldn’t say no to that. He shoved your legs apart again to get you flat on your back once more and you grinned sweetly up at him as he proudly angled his dick between your legs and dragged it through your pooling wetness and pressed it against your gaping hole, already fucked out by him. He eased it inside you slowly, so slowly so he could watch how your body stretched around him and took him all, how each inch made your breath shutter in your chest. 
He knew he really wasn’t going to last long anymore - he had already done literally all he could to hold himself back - and he leaned right over you with his forearms pressed to the pillows on either side of your head as he filled you completely once more. You leaned up to kiss him, lips smacking wetly and sloppily with your passion and heat, and when he rolled his hips into yours, you broke your kiss with a lingering moan. 
Lando stared at your face right in front of him as you wrapped your legs around his waist and your arms around his shoulders and neck and he pushed into you slowly again. Your sweet moans were nothing less than beautiful to him and he thrusted into you a bit stronger to have you making more of those pretty sounds. 
“Please,” you whimpered, cut off by his lips finding yours again as he thrusted into you a little faster. You squeaked against his kiss and smacked your hand down against his shoulder blades in surprise at his change, nails sinking into his skin. 
“This okay?” Lando asked softly, his breath falling against your cheek. 
“Uh huh! Gimme more.” you nodded. 
Lando couldn’t get enough of your filthy words so he egged you on - testing the waters - with a little, “Beg.” 
“Fuck me harder!” you pleaded, “I wanna cum all over your huge cock. Want you to make me cum, sir. Want you to make me scream, sir.” 
“Oh fuck.” Lando groaned quietly, slumping down on top of you a little more as he let his hips take their natural desperation out on you, pounding into you faster. 
“Shit!” you gasped sharply, head tossing back against the pillows, “Yes! Keep going!” 
“Good girl.” Lando breathed, so quiet as if he were nervous to say it out loud but you still heard and it still made your stomach twist. 
Your ankles linked behind his back to keep him as close as possible and you welcomed his lips back on yours to share a few more sloppy kisses and hungry moans before he was pulling back to breathe again. Lando had to tuck his face into your neck because looking at you felt like far too much to handle as he stayed nice and deep and fucked you quicker. 
“Yes.” you squeaked out, digging your nails into his back. “Yes, yes, yes-” 
Lando moaned shakily against your skin, already feeling himself needing to cum again. He desperately thought of his exam again, trying to think about anything to make it last just even a little bit longer. He was getting so close so fast and as you did the same, the squeeze of your muscles only drew him dangerously closer to finishing. 
The sound of his panted, strained breaths against your ear was invigorating and the tight reverberations of his soft groans had you biting his neck to keep yourself composed, to keep from getting too loud between the thin hotel walls. But you still moaned for him, pleading sweet little moans that he felt in every inch of his body and his balls fucking ached to cum after so much edging. It nearly brought tears to his eyes. 
You could tell he was close as he shuffled closer to you on his knees and his thrusts were turning sloppy and his groans were turning into strained little whimpers, his cock pulsing strongly deep inside of you. Just to help it along, you dropped a hand down between your snug bodies to rub at your clit, already so sensitive that the slightest touch had you shuttering with overwhelm. The way it made your pussy clench up had Lando gasping and you held him by the back of his neck to keep his cheek pressed to yours. 
“Do you want to cum inside me?” you asked softly, voice dripping like honey. 
He nodded quickly. 
“Yeah? Good because I want it. I want you to cum so fucking deep inside me, sir. Please, gimme it.” 
Your voice was strained as you were getting yourself close too by the extra help of your hand and Lando’s fists were tightening on the pillows on either side of your head as he fucked you right down into the bedsheets. Your words certainly weren’t helping him hold himself back but thankfully he didn’t have to hold it much longer because in seconds he was privy to the perfection that was your orgasm. 
He could hardly get a good look at your face with how close your heads were but he got the best of it; how your nose scrunched up and head fell back and how you sobbed out his name to the ceiling with a trail of the sweetest moans and whimpers he had heard all night. But the best part was how it felt, how fucking tight you got around him, because the moment your orgasm washed over you, the vice like grip of your muscles sent him to his own rapid conclusion. 
Lando literally tensed so hard he trembled, eyes scrunched closed as he grunted out a whimpery, “Y-Yes…yes- f-fuck-” 
He held onto you so tightly that he couldn’t get any deeper inside you if he tried and he savoured the feeling of coming in something that wasn’t his hand. It was hard to wrap his mind around the fact that it was you. 
Your heels pressed into his ass to grind his hips against yours to make sure he let it all out, your shared breathy moans lingering in the warm air of the hotel room. Lando bucked into you a few more times and you kissed at his neck as he came down from his most incredible orgasm to date. His hands loosened on the pillows and he leaned back just enough to look at your face properly. 
His cheeks were dusted pink and he was blinking away the pleasurable tears that had brimmed in his eyes, parted lips staring down at you in near awe. You brushed your hand through his messy hair and you both leaned in for a quick kiss or two before you were guiding him back by his biceps as he sat back on his knees between your spread legs. 
Lando’s chest nearly hurt with how fast his heart was beating and he pulled out of you slowly, watching the trickle of cum that dripped out in his wake. He licked his lips and raised his eyes up to yours as if asking for permission to touch you as he reached his hand out and smeared his fingers through it greedily. 
“That’s so fucking hot.” he breathed. 
“Feels so good too.” you giggled. 
Lando shifted out from between your legs and fell onto the bed at your side, both of you resting back against the pillows and staring at the ceiling as your breathing steadied. You grabbed his wrist of the hand that had just been in the mess you made and you pulled it up to your mouth to suck off his fingers. Lando exhaled shakily as he watched you lick him clean - nearly deepthroating his fingers as you did so - and then you shoved his hand away with a little blissful laugh and a lick of your lips to linger on the taste of him. 
In the silence that fell for the initial moment after everything, Lando started to wonder if he should be saying something…bringing you something…thanking you? He felt like a fool, not knowing what he was supposed to be doing and he turned his head to look at you again, speaking your name into the warm air between you. 
“Lando.” you replied right back with a little smile, lolling your head to the side to look right back at him. 
“I have to tell you something.” he whispered. 
You shifted your body onto your side to give him your full attention, face falling into slight concern, “What is it?”
He bit at his lip nervously before confessing to you, “I’m a virgin…I was a virgin...”
Your lips pricked up into a tiny smile at the corners and you stroked your thumb across his cheek, “Yeah, sweetheart, I could kinda tell when you kept having to stop to keep from cumming too fast.”
Lando’s cheeks went red, “Oh.” 
“Was that okay though? You didn’t mind losing it to me? I should have asked but I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable or anything.”
Lando propped himself up on his side too with a quick shake of his head, “Absolutely. I wanted nothing more than to lose it to you, honestly. It was like a fucking dream.” 
You shared light laughter and he leaned in - hesitating for a split second - and kissed your lips. You raised your hand up to the side of his neck to keep him there a moment longer, smiling into his mouth as your breathlessly moulded into messy little kisses. 
“Was it okay for you?” Lando pulled back to ask, “I wasn’t…too clueless, right?”
You bit back your smile at his courtesy and shook your head, “No, you were amazing. Pleasantly surprised you could actually make me cum.”
He let out a little sigh of relief and you both leaned in for a few more quick kisses between light blissful giggles. Lando felt a surge of pride for himself, like he was unbeatable, and when you pushed him back by his chest, he flopped back onto the sheets with a smiling sigh. 
“I’m gonna go clean up.” you said, scratching your fingers gently over his abs, “You’ll be here when I come out?”
Lando nodded, sharing in your smiles, and he watched you climb off the bed and retrieve a clean pair of underwear and a t-shirt from your suitcase by the wall before disappearing around the corner into the bathroom. When he heard the door close behind you, Lando permitted himself a deep exhale, raking his fingers through his hair as he stared up at the ceiling with shocked disbelief all over his face. He had been playing it cool for hours and suddenly, with the wash of reality overcoming him, he was stunned to silence by what just happened. 
He mouthed a “what the fuck” to the ceiling and then sat up on the king size bed to locate his underwear from where they had been earlier tossed across the floor. He got up and tugged them on before tiptoeing past the bathroom door to where his backpack was left in your rush of entry. With his phone in hand, Lando returned to the side of the bed and sat down as he unlocked his phone with your birthdate as his passcode and swiped across his home screen that was wallpapered with a picture of you, and opened Instagram. 
His two best friends were chatting to pass the time in the groupchat,
georgerussell63: It’s literally 11:00 right now and I’m going to be so tired for my exam tomorrow but I can’t go to sleep until we know wtf is going on alex_albon: I know alex_albon: I’m so wide awake alex_albon: I can’t even lock my phone I’m scared we’ll miss something georgerussell63: Do you think anything happened? alex_albon: Ahh idk- georgerussell63: Omg wait Lando just opened the messages georgerussell63: Hello?? alex_albon: Lan?? You alive?? georgerussell63: Mate don’t just leave us on SEEN  alex_albon: What happened? We are dying here! landonorris: Guys landonorris: Oh my God georgerussell63: LANDO alex_albon: WHAT HAPPENED landonorris: I fucked her alex_albon: WAIT WHAT georgerussell63: WHAT THE FUCK?? georgerussell63: REALLY? landonorris: Ahherghbj omfg yes really alex_albon: Proof plz omg we need proof georgerussell63: Wtf kind of proof Alex? The used condom? Nasty landonorris: Yeah that’d be difficult since we didn’t use a condom- alex_albon: LANDO NORRIS georgerussell63: WTF georgerussell63: WHY NOT alex_albon: BECAUSE WE WANT THOSE BABIES LES GOO landonorris: HAHA landonorris: Idk she just said she’d take plan b tomorrow and idc pffhf landonorris: I’m fucking buzzing holy shit georgerussell63: Where are you rn?? alex_albon: Give us all the details mate landonorris: In her hotel room landonorris: She’s just in the bathroom so I probably can’t chat for long but landonorris: Yeah I had to tell you guys right awayyy georgerussell63: Hear that Albono? georgerussell63: Our boy isnt a virgin anymore 🥲 alex_albon: I’m literally speechless omg alex_albon: Did you get her follow yet?? georgerussell63: ALEX georgerussell63: Mate georgerussell63: Who cares about a follow right now georgerussell63: The boy just shagged the girl of his dreams 🥵 alex_albon: I'm just ASKING if its a one time thing or what landonorris: Idk it literally just happened so we haven’t even really talked landonorris: I still can’t believe it really georgerussell63: Was she good? 👀 alex_albon: 👀👀👀 landonorris: YES landonorris: She was so fucking loud too landonorris: And her dirty talkkkkk holy shittttttt georgerussell63: YEEESH alex_albon: Oh my GODD
Grinning from ear to ear at how boastful he felt, Lando glanced at the bathroom door to make sure it was still closed before he went over to the full length mirror and opened his camera. He tilted his head back a little to show off the bruising hickey on his neck and the faint reminisce of teeth marks just below it and he snapped a picture for his friends.
landonorris: *sent an image* georgerussell63: Ohhhh you got BRANDED alex_albon: LANDO alex_albon: Fucking get it mate omfg
Lando took a second to look at himself in the mirror as if he were a whole new person. He felt new…improved…absolutely buzzing. He turned around in the reflection just to see the pretty red scratches down his back and across his shoulder blades. With a disbelieving giggle to himself, Lando raised his phone up over his shoulder and took a picture through the mirror.
landonorris: *sent an image* alex_albon: LANDO georgerussell63: SHIT alex_albon: You must have had serious game to be scratched up like that holy shit georgerussell63: You really did it omg landonorris: YEAH I REALLY DID IT landonorris: Four positions landonorris: Not including her getting on her knees first landonorris: The whole time she was basically screaming for it landonorris: Hottest thing I’ve ever fucking done landonorris: She was so fucking incredible  landonorris: Even better than I could ever imagine  landonorris: It felt so good I’ve never come so fucking hard before lol georgerussell63: Geeeeez it’s getting hot in here alex_albon: I’m dying to know what this means for you two alex_albon: If she liked it that much this better not be a one time thing alex_albon: She better have fallen in love with you rn georgerussell63: Our boy’s got such good stroke game he wins girls hearts alex_albon: Hell yeah landonorris: Seriously guys it was unreal georgerussell63: I’m so obsessively happy for you rn it’s probably unhealthy 
Right then, the bathroom door opened and you stepped out, only giving Lando a few seconds to say goodbye to his friends. 
landonorris: gtg talk tomorrow
“You okay?” you asked cautiously.
Dressed in only a t-shirt and panties, makeup washed off and hair brushed away from your face, you were still a vision to him and Lando smiled at you softly as you walked over to him.
“Mhm, my roommate was just asking where I was.” he lied casually, still not wanting to be seen as too much of a cringey fanboy as he locked his phone in his hand. 
You walked into his outstretched arm and slid your hands over his bare chest and around his shoulders, “Do you need to go?”
Lando shook his head, his breath sweet and shallow as his heart rate sped up by just having you in arms reach and he bumped his nose gently against your cheek, “Not unless you want me to go.” 
Lingering just in front of his lips you whispered your response, “I wouldn’t mind some company tonight.”
“Yeah?” he smiled. 
You nodded with a smile of your own and guided him closer by the side of his neck to kiss his lips. He hummed softly into it and raised his hand up to cradle your cheek in return, letting his lips lock so effortlessly with yours. After a few seconds, you pulled him back towards the bed and you both climbed under the sheets together. 
“Did you wanna watch Netflix or something?” you asked. “It’s still a little early.” 
Lando hesitated for a moment at your side, “Is it weird if I ask you to read to me? I missed your reading today after all.” 
You laughed lightly but leaned right in and swallowed his lips up with eager kisses, “Mm, no, that’s so fucking sweet. Get your book.” 
Lando grinned and shuffled back out of bed to unzip his backpack and pull out his hardcover that only a few hours earlier he was waiting in line for you to sign. Now, he was taking it into your bed and passing it to you once more while holding his arm up to permit you to cuddle up against his chest. You rested back against him, both of you propped up slightly against the pillows, and he snaked his arms around your waist and pressed a kiss to your cheek as you flipped to the first chapter. 
“You sure this isn’t weird?” he asked softly. 
You leaned your head back against his shoulder and smiled up at him, petting your hand through the side of his messy hair, “Promise. I love it.” 
Lando smiled back and leaned down to kiss your lips and then your temple as you turned back to your book. You read the first few chapters out loud - only stopping once to order room service for a late night snack and refreshments - and shared kisses between each chapter that only had Lando’s stomach fluttering with butterflies at how sweet your voice sounded reading the words that spoke wonders to him. He made you skip over the smut - whispering that he didn’t think he could handle getting hard again - and you did with a shy little laugh as he admitted that your filthy written words always had such an effect on him. 
When you were both fading, the half read novel was tucked onto the bedside table and the lights were turned off in exchange for the presence of each other’s bodies. He was a stranger to you but somehow he made you feel so warm inside like you had known him much longer than a few measly hours. His fingers twirled through the roots of your hair at the nape of your neck and you were put to sleep in mere moments after such a tiring day. 
As Lando held your slumbering body to your chest, his heart was soaring. He wondered if you could hear it racing for you, all his mind taken up by every last bit of you. 
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Lando’s alarm went off at 8am, ringing loudly from the dresser across the hotel room. You stirred first and your shifting woke Lando as he had been clinging onto you like a koala all night. His tired eyes blinked open, trying to piece together where he was for a second and why his dorm room bed suddenly felt so comfortable and why his pillow he was clutching felt so warm. 
He had almost entirely forgotten that the previous day wasn’t a dream. 
When he blinked himself into consciousness, he shifted away from you at the annoying ringing of his alarm, “Sorry.”
“S’okay.” you yawned as he climbed out of the king size bed and traipsed across the clothing strewn floor to retrieve his phone and turned off the noise. 
He had class at 9:00 but he certainly wasn’t going to make it across the city in time if he took his time with you. In the mayhem of the previous night, he had completely forgotten about his class. 
“Shit.” 
“Everything okay?” you asked, rolling over to face him under the sheets with your hands tucked under your head. 
Lando glanced up at you, in awe of how angelic you looked in the morning, and then looked back down at his phone to pull up the bus schedule, “Yeah…just…forgot I had class this morning.”
“Oh, shit. I’m sorry.” you sighed, “I shouldn’t have kept you.”
“God, no, don’t be sorry.” Lando assured you quickly. “No regrets here.” 
You smiled up at him as he came over to the side of the bed and leaned down to kiss your lips. 
“I had a great night.”
You reached up to hold him by the back of his neck to keep his lips on yours a moment longer, “Me too.” 
Both of you pulled back from your kiss smiling and Lando nearly stumbled over his feet as he turned to retrieve his clothes from across the floor. You giggled at his clumsiness and sat up against the headboard to watch him pull his shirt on and button his slacks up. He looked as passé as one could be but in his mind, he was stewing about saying goodbye to you. He didn’t want to say goodbye to you. He didn’t want to never speak to you again. 
“Lando.” you called. 
He looked up at you from his belt, blue eyes wide, “Yeah?”
“You look good.” 
He cracked a small smile and looked back down to the buckle on his belt, “I feel good.”
“Wonder why.” you teased. 
He returned to the side of the bed and sat down to lean back with one hand propping himself up on the other side of your lap. You stared at each other for a moment, eyes moving between eyes and lips. He needed to ask. He felt stupid asking. 
He forced it out of his mouth, “Can I…can you…maybe follow me on Instagram? So we can maybe keep talking?”
You smiled cockily at him, “I was wondering when you were going to ask. Was starting to think you just saw me as a booty call.” 
Lando laughed awkwardly, relieved, “God, no.” 
“Pass me my phone?” you gestured to your purse sitting against the wall and he got up to reach into it and pull it out for you. When he returned to the side of the bed and you unlocked your phone, he leaned forward a little to peek at your background out of pure curiosity. The aesthetic picture of notebook paper and pen was almost expected. You opened Instagram, right away being notified of dozens of likes, comments and a few follows but you ignored them and selected the search bar. “What’s your user?”
“landonorris.” he said, leaning forward a little more as he spelt it for you, “l-a-n-d-o-n-o-r-r-i-s. All one word.” 
The sight of his profile appearing on your screen was almost more surreal than the sight of him inside you the night before and he bit back his smile as you requested to follow his private account. His follower count looked miniscule compared to yours but you didn’t seem to bat an eyelash at it. 
“There,” you said proudly, “Accept me and then send me a message. I wanna look at all your sexy pictures.” 
“They’re hardly sexy.” Lando scoffed. 
“You’re sexy so they will be too.” you giggled, leaning towards him slightly.
Lando laughed shyly under your strong compliments and he let his eyes flutter closed as your lips met. You both stayed still for a moment, letting your kiss linger between you before moving back in for a few more little ones. 
“You have a bus to catch.” you whispered as you pulled back. 
“Mhm.” Lando pouted. 
“Don’t forget your book.” you gestured to where the hardcover was left on the nightstand. 
He grabbed it quickly as he stood up again, “Right. Thanks.”
“Thank you for dinner, by the way.” you said, “And for a truly unforgettable night.”
Lando smiled bashfully, “Yeah. Right back at you.” 
He dipped down to kiss the corner of your mouth and then he started for the door of the hotel room. As it closed behind him and he was suddenly alone in the long hallway, he slouched back against the wall and let out a deep breath before taking another one in nice and slowly. He opened his instagram requests as he waited for the elevators and he couldn’t help but screenshot the sight of your verified account in his pending follower requests. 
With you now in his followers, he slid into your dms with a casual, 
landonorris: Hey 😉 Don’t forget to stop by the drug store today
The whole way back to campus, Lando was grinning out the window and holding your signed copy of your book to his chest. He felt as light as air and as if he had been living the most perfect dream the last 24 hours. The only thing he realized he had yet to do was read your note you left him in the inside cover of his book. In the light of the morning sun across the streets of Bristol, Lando carefully opened the hardcover novel and admired the crisp silver sharpie inked across the dark inside page in your careful handwriting, 
“Lando,
Thank you for being so thoughtful and genuine.”
Signed with your curling signature and a little heart. 
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Tag List: @black-fireproofs @k3nmakyan @m4rt10ne @strawberryy-kiwii @herebereblogs
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♡ None of the original writing on this blog may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the author.
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rjalker · 2 years
Text
Dear people who aren't physically disabled who plan to write fantasy settings:
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[ID: Several images taken from the Geordi La Forge yes and no meme format, with Geordi holding out a hand disapprovingly for the no section, then pointing in approval for the yes section.
The first image is the meme:
No: "Saying the existance of magic in your setting means there are no disabled people (this literally just means disabled people are killed. AKA eugenics)"
Yes: "Having disabled people who use magical mobility aids and other assistive devices. Realizing that someone is still disabled even if their prosthetic arm is made of magic instead of plastic."
This is followed by four more panels of yes section:
"Geordi la Forge is still literally disabled. His visor helping him does not erase his disability and make him magically abled."
"Toph from Avatar: The Last Airbender is still literally disabled even though her Earthbending helps her. It does not make her disability ~magically~ go away."
"Having your disability be accomodated does not mean the disability goes away. Having a prosthetic hand, even one that's made of magic, does not mean you're not disabled."
"Magical mobility aids do not mean disabled people don't exist. It just means they use magical mobility aids instead of plastic or metal ones. A limb made of magic is still a prosthetic even if it's made of the soul of the universe instead of plastic and metal."
Then another no panel: "'There's no disabled people beacuse magic'".
Then one last yes panel: "'Magic helps disabled people in a variety of ways'".
End ID.]
This also applies to science fiction; just because Luke Skywalker's prosthetic hand is super advanced doesn't mean it's no longer a prosthetic, or that he's not disabled. Same with Darth Vader - just because he has a suit that lets him breathe and walk around doesn't mean he's not disabled. (And Star Wars' propensity for making the villains visibly disabled while the heroes disabilities get covered up by super advanced prosthetics is a topic that deserves its own post, especially with how ableist some of the authors of the books are. Troy Denning is especially ableist)
Edit:
Because people keep being fucking obnoxious and ableist in the tags, yes,,, motherfuckers, if you refuse to have disabled people in your setting, that does make you fucking ableist. If you say that the magic is used to cure all disabled people and that's why they don't exist, that's fucking eugenics.
You cannot ""cure"", more like remove all disabilities without fucking eugenics. Magically automatically destroying disabled fetuses (a very fucking popular trope!) is eugenics.
The only way to fucking "cure" autism is to fucking kill all autistic people, also known as eugenics!
What about people with PTSD? Do you just fucking brainwash them so they aren't traumatized anymore?
Do you force all Deaf people to be able to hear? Do you force all blind people to be able to see? Do you force all anosmics to be able to smell?
Do you magically force everyone with a speech impediment to speak to your standards?
Do you force everyone born with bodily or facial differences to live up to your fucking standard of beauty?
You cannot fucking say "disablities don't exist in this universe because magic cures everything" without inherently saying that eugenics exists in your fucking universe.
Not all fucking disabilities need a cure. If you ""cured"" my autism I'd just be fucking dead. You'd literally just be changing me into what you think is fucking acceptable.
Stop fucking arguing in defence of ableists on my fucking post so you can pretend that eugenics has never been written about in magical settings when it is extremely fucking prevalent.
And while we're fucking at it, let your gods damned characters become disabled over the course of their story, and call them disabled within the fucking story. I don't care if they're a robot. I don't care if they have magic. Not all fucking damage can be fixed. Curses exist. Hardware can go out of fucking date and no longer be manufactured anywhere.
Let your characters become disabled and do not magically fucking cure them back to brand new every single time they get hurt. The only thing you accomplish by doing that is destroying any chance of ever having stakes.
No, "magical healing leaves scars on the mind from the memory of the injuries though!!!!" is not fucking good enough. Let your characters have scars. Let them become disabled. Stop being fucking ableist cowards.
Edit number fucking 2:
No, motherfuckers, you do not get to comment "if the disability was caused by magic it's not ableist to cure it with magic". You are the ableist this post is about. Shut the absolute fuck up, stop treating being disabled as the worst possible outcome, and just admit you're a fucking ableist. If you don't want your characters to become disabled, then don't fucking make them disabled.
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[ID: The Garfield "you are not immune to propaganda" meme, now edited to read:
"If your first thought upon reading this post is, 'Oh, but it's okay to magically cure disabilities caused by magic!' Congrats…you are the exact sort of ableist jackass this post is about."
End ID.]
Edit number fucking 3:
Autistic people exist! People who are born with disabilities exist! You cannot create a setting where disabled people do not exist because we're all "cured" or "fixed" and not inherently say that you are killing disabled people as soon as they're born, or fucking aborting us as soon as you figure out we'd be born disabled! That's fucking eugenics!
There is no way to "cure" autism without eugenics! There is no way to "cure" people with body differences without eugenics! There is no way to make disabled people nonexistant in your setting without eugenics! Thinking you can and should "cure" and "fix" all disabilities IS EUGENICS!
Also:
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[ID: A character shouting at the camera, now edited to read: "Shut up about Dungeons and Dragons! Shut up about Dungeons and Dragons! If the rules of Dungeons and Dragons are ableist, then fucking change them! It is your fucking personal responsability to be a better person than your bigoted society wants you to be!". End ID.]
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[ID: White text on a dark brown background with white and black borders around the edges, that reads:
"I don't fucking know or care about Dungeons and Dragons.
This post is not about Dungeons and Dragons.
Do not fucking throw the rulebook of Dungeons and Dragons at me like it's some sort of 'Gotcha!'.
You will literally just be blocked like the rest of the ableist assholes who've already tried it.
If you play dungeons and dragons, it's your responsability to make your games not be ableist, even if it means breaking the rules.".
End ID.]
I do not fucking care what the ableist rules are in Dungeons of Dragons. Do not fucking throw ableist rules for a game I have never and will never play at me on a post I made so that people could learn how to make their settings less ableist. If the rules in Dungeons and Dragons are ableist, then fucking change them. If you don't want to change them, then stop fucking playing an ableist game.
Disabled people deserve to see ourselves represented in fiction just like everyone else, without any fucking requirements that we be "cured" or "fixed" before the story ends.
How the fuck would you feel if a trans and gay character's whole story revolved around going on a quest to become straight and cis, did so, and only then was allowed to live happily ever after?
Why do you fucking think suggesting people write stories about disabled people going on a quest to be cured because it's the only way they'll ever be happy is any less fucking offensive?
Also:
This post is NOT a place for you to talk about how disabled people in fiction should have the option of curing their disabilities. It's just not. That's the fucking default for this society. That is not a revolutionary concept. It's not novel. We fucking know this society wants us gone. A post about how disabled people deserve representation is not the place to talk about how "Well, actually, in fiction disabled people should be cured!" Like that's not the fucking universal default???????????
Edit #4:
Everyone needs to stop tagging this singing praise for Fullmetal Alchemist. A story that uses disability as a punishment and the characters are on a quest to cure their disabilities is not the amazing representation you're all claiming it is just because the character who is only disabled because of DIVINE PUNISHMENT uses prosthetics.
Read this post, and this one. Fullmetal Alchemist is a hell of a lot more ableist than you people are letting on.
guess what you can now find a PDF version of this post on the web archive.
Edit #5! August 23rd, 2023!
A) Everyone. Disabilities that can only exist in the magical setting are still disabilities.
Trying to cure the younger brother's magical disability of being a soul floating around in a magical suit of armour is, in fact, going on a quest to heal a disability!
It doesn't matter if the older brother doesn't want to get his limbs back when they're going on a quest to heal the younger brother's disability! Especially when they BOTH get magically healed at the end!
Magical disabilities that can only exist in that setting, but not real life, are still disabilities, and it's not okay to magically heal them either! What part of the Garfield meme on this post did you all choose to ignore?!
B) When you leave tags on a post you are reblogging, the original poster can see them! When you leave tags on this post, I can see them!
If you think this post is ""too aggressive"" then simply do not reblog it! Don't fucking tone police me on a post I've had to edit five times now due to the constant ableism people have been commenting since I made it!
I have been called the R slur by multiple people in response to this post! People have literally reblogged this post to defend eugenics abortions! You can't see these comments or replies anymore because I blocked the poster!
If you think minorities are being too aggressive by responding appropriately to bigotry, you're a bigot! And you should either not reblog the post at all, or at the very least, shut the fuck up and not tone police us!
Do not fucking put tags on this post complaining I'm being too aggressive! That's called tone policing and you're a bigot if you do it! Don't fucking do it on anyone else's posts either! They can see your tags too!
C) When I fucking say Harry Potter fans are banned from this post, yes, this means YOU!
Either stop supporting a billionaire who's literally using the profits from her bigoted shittily written books to fund REAL FUCKING GENOCIDE, or fuck off!
By continuing to support the Harry Potter series, you are literally giving JK Rowling free fucking advertising! You are encouraging more people to read the series and watch the movies, spending more money and giving her more fucking money with which to LITERALLY SHAPE A COUNTRY'S LAWS TO COMMIT GENOCIDE. She is literally fucking fighting to make being trans illegal! She is literally fucking fighting to have even more of autistic people's rights taken away!
You cannot fucking be a fan of the Harry Potter series in 2023 and call yourself an ally to all the minorities harmed by JK Rowling and the bigotry baked into her shitty series!
Read another book! The Web Archive has tons you can read for free! Literally every single book on gutenberg.org/ is free! Including audiobooks for some of them!
If you write Harry Potter fanfiction, simply fucking get rid of the names and identifiable features and start writing original fiction instead! It's literally free!
Not supporting a literal fucking genocidal billionaire costs LITERALLY NOTHING! And if you refuse to fucking stop supporting JK Rowling, which is what you are doing when you support the Harry Potter series and squeal over her OCs, you are not an ally to any fucking minority! No! Not even if you're trans yourself!
= = =
Edit again Nobember 28th 2023 because this comment is just. such a perfect example for all of you that think this doesn't happen.
butter-whore2 said, two hours before this edit:
kind of a fan of tumblr's slightly more algorithmically elements for reminding me of the hell's other people construct for themselves but this one hits like five of the boxes. How do people do this to themselves? it's such a bizarre way to act over media I genuinely do not believe is capable of stirring an emotional response the metaphysics of disability here are unintentionally really funny but disability is not a coherent ontological framework, it's a vague descriptor for literally thousands of different things none of which lend themselves to categorizing Moralizing over fiction is incredibly lame.
Liking harry potter is also incredibly lame, it's not morally wrong nor transphobic and you do not get to decide that lol. people literally do get "cured" of their disabilities all the time, many of them have a positive experience in doing so. this is not what eugenics is.
the anti abortion stuff lol
Literally how do you live like this? you guys don't even read real books I don't get it.
Archived version of the comment for posterity.
So yeah, lofl, block this fucker.
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successfulgoddess333 · 6 months
Text
MENTALLY JUST BE, PHYSICALLY JUST SLEEP
The 3D is a RESULT
If you assume something in the 4D(your mind) watch it unravel in your 3D
Why is this???
I’m gonna yell at you now
BECAUSE THE 3D IS CHANGEABLE AND IT IS SO BECAUSE OF THE FACT THAT IT IS A RESULT
The 3D is a result of assumption
The assumptions you created yourself subconsciously
Manifesting a new job is the same as manifesting
A billionaire status
Stop doubting something that’s so easy
Whether you manifest through The void or whatever other methods it is sooo easy
Quit victimizing and babying yourself and get it the fuck done
Ain’t nobody gonna do it for ya
It’s your life baby you write it design it however the heck you want it to be
I’m not one of those bloggers to be be like “it’s ok pookie if you fail🥹”
NO BITCH YOU CANNOT FAIL
THE VOID IS LITERALLY YOU
YOUR GORGEOUS SELF IS THE REASON WHY IT EXISTS AND YOU OVERCOMPLICATING IT FOR WHAT???
Ignore the 3D
It’s physical
The jeans you’re wearing right now or that hoodie
Is physical
You can change it up for you want
The 3D is that
It’s those jeans that hoodie those socks
Change it
If you don’t wanna wear it
THEN DONT
If you feel like you deserve better
ASSUME BETTER
LOOK IN THAT MF MIRROR AND TELL YOURSELF YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL AND YOU ALWAYS BEEN THAT BITCH NOBODY IS ABOVE YOU WE ALL FINE AS HELL
JEALOUSY FOR WHATTTTTT
BBY GIRL ITS ALWAYS BEEN YOU YOU ALWAYS BEEN THAT BITCH
YOU TOO PRETTY TO BE SAD YOU KNOW ABOUT THE VOID CUZ THE UNIVERSE SHOWED YOU YOU ARE THE CHOSEN ONE
ACT LIKE IT GIRL!!!!!!
THIS IS YOUR SIGN TO STOP READING AND GO GET THAT DREAM LIFE
LIKE TF YOU STILL READING FOR
TAKE YOU FINE ASS TO THE VOID AND GET WHAT YOU ALWAYS WANTED
WITH YOUR CUTE SELF😏
I LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH
BUT STOP SAYING “hoW dO EnTEr tHE vOiD?”
👁️👄👁️
Bitch you just did
YOU ALWAYS DOOOOOO
Jesus peanut butter Christ
Cmon y’all
yOu HavE alWayS dONe tHis!!!!
Every time you go to bed
You’re detaching from the 3D(physical reality)
To be in the 4D reality
All you’re doing is becoming aware of it
Oh my god
How hard is that?!!!!
You’re killing me babes😔✋🏾
Please for the love of jell-o
Understand how easy this shizzz is
Bruh
You’re in the 3D void rn
I know that probably doesn’t exist but hear me out
You’re so attached to this reality right
Every day you are aware that you’re here living in this physical world as a physical being
This is like our 3D version of the void state
It’s not actually the void
But it’s like our state of awareness
Just in this 3D world
We’re aware that we are physical
So to shift your awareness to the 4D simply just
Be aware
Just like you’re aware now
“BUtt hoW dO sTaY aWAkE?”
Who said you gotta be sleepy??
Bitch you could do it rn if you really want to
It’s dumb to think you gotta be tired at to enter the void
NOOOOO
You literally are mentally awake
Your BODY is asleep
So why should you??
It’s different if you wanna tap into it WHILE asleep
Like waking up in it
But you don’t need to be dead tired to do it y’all
Listen bitch
You will never make it if you don’t claim your power and go get it
Stop wasting time stop assuming you fail or it’s hard
YOU DA POWERFUL ONE BABE
Sugar baby it’s all in your hands
You’re the God of your reality
Go make your life the way you want it
Quit spending hours trying to find methods to something to you naturally do every night with NO method
When you go to sleep
You are in the state of just being
You’re just sleep
When you’re awake you’re in the state of awakened awareness
You’re just awake and aware
Soooo in the void mix those two together in the void
Mentally Just BE
Physical Just sleep
Omg my new motto
The key to the void state is
“MENTALLY JUST BE
PHYSICALLY JUST SLEEP”
That’s it
That’s all
And If your favorite celebrities can manifest so can you
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anakinsdove · 7 months
Text
𝐮𝐥𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐯𝐢𝐨𝐥𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 | 𝐚𝐧𝐚𝐤𝐢𝐧 𝐬𝐤𝐲𝐰𝐚𝐥𝐤𝐞𝐫
pairing: anakin skywalker x reader
summary: he’d like to make you cry, but in the process he’ll cry too.
c/w: nsfw, sfw, fluff, choking, dom/sub dynamics, dacryphilia, (listen to pretty when you cry by Lana del rey)
discord - twitter: anakinsdove
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𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐨𝐩𝐞𝐧! 。゚゚・。・゚゚。 ゚。Love you
𝘄/𝗰 - 1,263
Anakin loves you, he loves so fucking much, he really does… there’s not a single doubt in his mind and he hates to pretend that he doesn’t love you, the Jedi code, no attachments, only if they knew, he’ll destroy the galaxy to save you, he’ll kill everyone to save you, he’ll kill himself to save you.
This isn’t how it was supposed to be, you’re under him while he pounds you mercilessly, his hand tightens around your throat making it difficult to breathe, to think, to care, he wants you crying, crying for him and begging for him, but when he looked at you, despite the naughtiness of the act, he only sees love, his wife and reason to exist, his entire universe. Anakin can’t help it when he feels tears welling up in his eyes.
You’re there, eyes closed head rolled back, tightening around his cock as it kisses your cervix painfully delicious, milking him. He’s there on top of you, furrowed eyebrows, mouth hanging open ans his hand grips you hips tightly to keep you in place, a bead of sweat falling from his hairline, fighting the urge to close his eyes as pleasure overtakes him.
You’re not going anywhere, you’re not going to slip away and disappear if he closes his eyes for just a second, he tries to fight his thoughts, he growls and comes down to kiss your cleavage sucking marks into your skin, bruising you the only way he’ll ever will and taking your pebbled nipple into his mouth, his eyes won’t leave yours… he massages your other boob pinching your nipple with his index finger and his thumb, your back arches accidentally and you let out a strangled cry.
Your hands pull at his hair and anakin groans muffled by your skin then takes your wrists and pins them over your head with one hand, switches to your other boob so she can receive the same treatment, he’s so eager to please you, he’s eager to make you love him even when you already would sell your soul to be with him, he just doesn’t get it, he doesn’t get it how can he have something so fucking good in his life… or under him precisely.
“Keep your hands in there will you?” You nod dumbly staring at his frowning expression…. “Ani-” “Take it” he says and you wonder how long is going to take him to cum, his cock pulsates inside you and he already dragged 3 orgasms out of you but it’s not enough, he wants more… your pussy is sore and unbelievably wet he doesn’t ever want to leave.
The sounds of skin slapping get louder as he moves erratically against you, he’s getting tired but he won’t stop, his grip loosens up on your wrist releasing them, you take the chance to dig your nails in his back, he groans, it’s painful, it’s perfect… dragging them slowly scratching him… hurting him, the only way you’ll ever do.
“Tell me you love me” his voice is strangled
Everything is blurry, your tears are blurring your vision “I love you” you say, but it’s not good enough.
“Again”
“I love you”
“A-Again!”
He’s losing it, he’s so close, so close to let the white pleasure take over him completely, the kind of pleasure that makes him see stars, the kind of pleasure that will make him hold you so tight it’ll leave marks. “I love you Anakin! I l-love you so- f-fucking much!” That sends him over the edge, and his eyes roll back into his head and hides his face on the crook of your neck, his mouth hanging open, brows furrowing together, it’s too much for him.. who would have tought that Anakin skywalker, also known as “the hero with no fear” by the rest of the galaxy would completely come undone by someone telling him they love him.
Your 4th orgasm of the night hits you without warning as you were concentrating on the beautiful man on top of you, watching him unravel… your back arches prettily as you let out a cry, of pleasure, of pain, of overstimulation, love, everything… it’s the most beautiful noise anakin has ever heard, you lay there exhausted panting and holding him tightly… closing your eyes in pure bliss when you suddenly feel his still hard cock moving inside you again.
“Anakin!” Your pussy clenched around him making him moan… “One more” he says breathlessly “I need one more” tears well up in your eyes at the overstimulation nodding at him as you cry quietly… you’ll do anything that he ask. “Gonna pound you now” he warns.
It hurts for him too, his cock is too sensitive for this but he wants it, he needs it, the sticky mess between your legs only encourages him to fill you up again as the sticky cum drips from your pussy, his hand slides down to your sensitive yet untouched clit to draw tight little circles.
It’s the best thing you’ve ever felt in your life, you hold so much love for him in your heart that it’s almost impossible to think about it without without crying because loving Anakin Skywalker is overwhelming, it’s raw and addicting like a drug, you’re completely high on him and the best thing is that it’s mutual, it’s everything you could ever wish for, he would do anything that you ask, no questions, it’s scary but devotion is everything and if breaking the Jedi code had consequences you’re disposed to pay them, whatever the price is to keep living this life.
“I love you y/n” Anakin breathes out
“You belong to me” he stops rubbing your puffy clit to bring his fingers to your mouth making you choke on them pressing on your tongue so you can taste yourself “Say it”
“I- i belong to you” it’s unintelligible but he smirks
“You’re mine” he growls
“I’m yours”
“No one else’s”
“No one else’s”
You keep choking on his digits as his tip hits that spongy spot inside you perfectly “it’s okay i got you” he says, his mind recognizes the signs of your body when you’re close, not only to cum but to break… “i want you to cum okay? Want you to milk me my love… t-take what’s yours, I’m yours do you understand?”
The pleasure is unbearable and your body comes undone in his arms, anakin captures your lips and muffles your cries, it’s a clumsy kiss considering he’s coming undone on top of you too, he slides his tongue in your mouth tasting you, you taste so sweet and he’s already drunk in you. His hips stutter as more cum drips from your pussy… he wasn’t intending to breed you tonight but maybe he did… he finally breaks the kiss and you’re both left in silence only heavy breathing can be heard… Anakin rests his head on your chest and sighs.
“You’re everything to me” he says and you play with his hair delicately making his eyes close involuntarily getting lost in a different kind of pleasure
“You’re my adoration Anakin” he grins like a child, pure and only happiness behind it
“D’you think you can tell obi wan you’re not going to this mission?” He says
“I don’t know, do you think master yoda is tall?” his boyish giggle warms your heart…. “Hey…. I’m yours until tomorrow, we’ve still got plenty of time alone together” your fingers tug delicately at the roots of golden curls.
“Tomorrow” he says
“Tomorrow”
masterlist 𝗮𝗻𝗮𝗸𝗶𝗻𝘀𝗱𝗼𝘃𝗲 © --- all rights reserved. no reposting/translating/ copying will be tolerated.
dividers - @i92-93
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