#they exist in a weird space free of the normal flow of time

[dismembered-narrator]

eskew city 🤝 pikmin 2 caves

[absentinquiries]

Aspects as Cosmology Page 2: Space and Time

REGENT: Continuing from the prior lecture, we now must begin to focus on the role Aspects play as the cornerstones of reality. As described previously, the primary Twelve Aspects are divided into two Spheres of Six Aspects; the Lower Sphere which govern fundamental reality, and the Upper Sphere which govern motive reality.

REGENT: We must now look closer at the natures of these Aspects to better understand the role they play in the universe - as well as what the Aspect properly encompasses for those who have an affinity with it.

REGENT: These explorations will be done in pairs, as the paired Aspects are often closely intertwined. Thus, we start with the very most basic; Space and Time.

REGENT: Space is an Aspect which is…Weird, and a little difficult to try and simplify. Even a single word does not appropriately describe it; it is creation. As an act, but also as the physical principle of reality. Something intuitively known, but hard to accurately describe.

REGENT: It is an Aspect to which many distinct factors are ascribed; distance, mass, gravity, size, shape, and so on. The very notion of physics itself seems part and parcel with Space, though that may be less a direct factor of Space, and more with its relation to Light. Though, that is something for its own discussion.

REGENT: In actuality, I feel Space is less concerned with the precise details of an extant thing and more with its state of existence. As I stated, it is creation; it matters not what form a thing takes, so long as it takes form at all. If it exists, it is, inherently, Space.

REGENT: "So what then, of the devices through which the Space-bound manipulate reality? To reshape, resize, reorient what exists?" The answer is simple. If it exists, it is within the realm of Space's influence, and so the Space-bound - through the lens of their Class - are able to manipulate it.

REGENT: For the Space-bound, the only factor that matters for their powers is whether or not a thing exists. If it does, they hold influence over it; if it doesn't…Then it can be created.

REGENT: Time, paradoxically, is much more concrete despite being non-physical. Time is the flow of reality, moving forward in linear fashion. It is a direct measurement of progress against which the states of things can be compared.

REGENT: Even more paradoxically, Time is a continuous line, and yet cyclical. It is a single path, but it branches and frays. The ways Time works is free-flowing, and yet the rules around it are rigid.

REGENT: But the main factor of Time - that of its role as the forward movement of reality - is a constant. Nothing exists which is not subject to the flow of Time, but Time itself has no direct affect on anything. Like with Space, I believe that part of what is normally ascribed to Time is actually it working in tandem with Doom, and just the same, that's another discussion.

REGENT: Which, it's rather ironic to me that Time, an Active Aspect, is actually rather passive in its interaction with physical reality. But, I digress.

REGENT: So, what about Time as it relates to the Time-bound? How do they resonate with this cosmic principle? Well, it's a similar deal to Space; if it exists, has existed, or will exist, then it is within the domain of Time. But unlike the Space-bound, who directly influence that which exists, Time has access to different points of existence.

REGENT: Simplifying it, Time is something akin to a straight line, with events happening along its length. That line is what the Time-bound have direct control over, and through it, they can influence the events which happen on that line.

REGENT: That should be suitable enough for today - next we'll be discussing the Aspects I am most intimately familiar with; Void and Light.

[bunny-hoodlum]

Asynchronous With You: Ch 4

Hinata had no idea what she was doing following this child around, being lead from booth to booth, watching her pick up snacks and play games as they went. She was asked if she wanted a taiyaki, but she hadn't the stomach for it. She was asked if she wanted to help win her a plushie, but she was too numb to respond.

Everyone was looking at them.

Her classmates made comments in passing.

"Hey, I didn't know you had a sister!"

"Whoa, shocker! You're not an only child?"

"Huh? Who's that?"

"Guess Hyuuga-san can't be mysterious and secretive forever."

And then there was Naruto's face angled above the river of bodies, wide, open eyes filled with confusion and concern.

She ducked her head down. At the same time, Hanabi tugged at her skirt and pointed at another booth ahead. Following her lead her closer to Naruto, who began to push his way through to reach her.

His prescence is always like the sun, at times warm and welcoming, other times overbearing. Suffocatingly hot, in fact. Like now. Like she's been abandoned without her shoes, wandering barefoot on an asphalt desert, and here he is bearing down on her, unrelenting.

Several takes are made between Hanabi and herself. He's assessing with his own eyes and verifying it against their history.

"How old is she?" He murmurs.

Hinata releases a shaky sigh. "Ten. Her birthday's in March."

And Kurenai had taken them in the summer before. Her parents must have gotten pregnant again shortly after.

They both watched as Hanabi grasped the baseball and threw her arm back. After a couple near misses, she finally got it through the 300pt hole. Hinata clapped, but it was hollow and robotic. This obvious show of pain only earned her more of his attention, and that pained her too.

Hanabi skipped over to them, another palm-sized plushie added to the others hooked inside her left arm. Her cunning upturned eyes widened upon seeing Naruto standing so closely to her Onee-san.

"Is that your boyfriend?"

Naruto froze up, a hand reached behind his head as he sputtered to explain without making things weird.

"He's someone that was nice to me in grade school," Hinata said coolly.

"Uh, yeah," The right half of Naruto's face pinched in mild disagreement, finding her answer a bit more impersonal than he was going for.

"What? That's all?" Hanabi's open-mouth frown made her look like the goldfish she tried to scoop earlier. She seemed visibly bored by this revelation.

Hinata also caught an indignant look from Naruto, whose eyes seemed to ask 'Yeah, that's all?'.

"Oh, I forgot," She met his stare, "You're trying to befriend the whole school by graduation." It wasn't code. He was almost obsessively expanding his contacts every day. He wanted to appear in every school photo for the yearbooks. He wanted the empty spaces so dense with inside jokes, fond wishes and signatures that no one could ever say he was unpopular and unloved.

"Hell yeah. And I'm halfway there, too."

It was Hanabi's turn to read the air between them as she glanced from person to person. A good-humored smirk curved her lips. "Looks like you have a long ways to go with Onee-san. Well, nice meeting you!" She grabbed Hinata's hand and began to drag her away, waving her flummoxed acquaintance goodbye. Hinata didn't even resist.

Naruto watched her disappear through the throng, as irritation and discomfort took seat inside his chest. She's walking around like a puppeted corpse and she gives him attitude?! His sigh transforms into a drawn out growl as he mentally works through the wrongness he feels. He comes out of it calmer, sympathy renewed.

She's simply not acting like herself. He has to forgive her for that.

As her brother, and the only one that's around, he has to fix this.

Otherwise, what is he good for?

______________________________

He had determined to find her again later in the day, when her sister surprise was no longer sucking the soul out of her.

And he does find her later, when the sky is a guava-mango sorbet dimming darker, and the school halls are shadowed in sleepy silence.

She's found a place to be alone, in a stairwell that hardly anybody uses.

Well, except himself. And a few others.

It's a great place for a post-lunchtime quickie.

It's not a hundred-percent guarantee to be unoccupied, but it's kind of a well-guarded school secret.

Now that he thinks about it, as she sits there much like his other catches have, and he's coming to meet her when everyone's gone, it leaves him feeling... exposed and shameful. Like they're both here for unsavory reasons.

A flash of a memory intrudes on him, of baby-soft, plump white skin that refused to be buttoned up in the shirt he shrank, bouncing with the force to cause an earthquake in his room, that tight-lined cleavage taunting him.

It took him weeks to look her in the face again, and he thinks about it now?!

He smacks his cheeks until he's regained stoic resolve. But then something else nags at him.

What if she was here, and she was waiting for someone else?

No one's invited her over here yet, he would know.

But they could. And when they did...

He shakes off these burdensome thoughts like a wet dog.

No one in this school has their eye on his sister. He would know that, too.

And he wouldn't allow it.

He can't think of a damn soul that's good enough for her.

So hardworking, so generous, so considerate and patient. Plus she was smart, she cooks better than Kurenai-obasan, and she's an amazing listener.

She's just so, so amazing.

And yet, stuff like this happens.

She's like the smallest thing to ever exist, that's what she looks like right now. As if he could scoop her up with both hands and still lose her between the cracks of his palms.

Just like when they first met.

Neji's voice rises up in the back of his mind. "You're the only one I can ask."

He's got a lot of experience cheering her up and making her feel safe, and this time will be no different.

Or so he thought.

When she looks up at him, he feels transparent. Her brow is furrowed like it doesn't make sense for him to be here.

"Can you take me to the train station?" She asks unblinkingly, thin tears escaping from the inner corners.

His mind goes a mile a minute with speculation, but he'd already been planning on saying 'yes' to her no matter what she had asked of him.

______________________________

They're taking the train to Neji's private high school. It's way pass curfew, so there's no visiting him at his dorm, but they're going to try.

Naruto can't talk to her because she's fully turned towards the window. Instead he takes this free time to picture himself in her situation. That he has family somewhere out there, and siblings he's never met. That they lived their lives without him. Maybe even erased his existence from their story. No photographs, no baby book.

Was Hinata even still on their family registry?!

He folded over and clutched his head, groaning. "This is so fucked. How could they do this to you?!"

For the past six hours, she's been asking herself the same thing.

She was also asking for Hanabi's sake, those fragile words ringing over and over in the back of her mind.

"Do you think I'm a redo?"

Hinata squeezed her eyes shut tight.

Because there are no redos without mistakes.

______________________________

AN: Sorry, this is only 800 words! D: I'll probably combine this with the previous chapter as well when I post it to AO3. Or maybe it's somehow fine as is? Like an Interlude? I also wanted to write that heartwrenching scene between Hanabi and Hinata and get some exposition out of the way, but today it felt tedious. :( I wish I had written it when I originally wanted to, lol.

That aside, I'm not totally happy with the flow of the middle scene, it just feels maybe... distracted? or disjointed? Hmm... tangential?

Plus I couldn't seem to dig very deep into Naruto's reactions and like, the logical progression of his emotions. I feel I just skimmed the surface. Oh wait, maybe it's because he ought to be belligerently outspoken about this stuff, right? （・□・；）

Sometimes I think I really miss the ball when writing Naruto cuz I subdue him to be more 'normal' and have enough situational awareness to get by on. (눈_눈)

[yanderecandystore]

ok ok hear me out hear me out. Yuma becoming obsessed with one of the game’s ( few ) sentient, non-romancable npcs. Like they can think and feel and ( somewhat ) act for themselves but there just isn’t a route for them. Also bonus points of the darling is kinda bratty/prissy, we haven’t see a lot of readers like that. Ily and your writing so much, mwah — ✨ anon

My my, how different!

Welcome in, ✨ Anon! And thank you for enjoying my writing so far.

TW/Tags: I love this concept, although being very different from the norm // some ddlc vibes // I just discovered a new word and I'm so glad it exists! (prissy reader cause I think this would be very fun-) // angsty // trapping, manipulation and gaslighting // every time the gender isn't set, I like to keep it ambiguous, basically making it gender neutral (gender neutral reader) // gender neutral Yuma //

🍭꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍰꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖🍭

Just Yuma (lol) [Yandere!A.I OC x A.I!Reader - Headcanon]:

I like to think that a game like Yuma's would be made to entertain the players to at least 5 or so years before the next installment- Which is basically the same as the last with better graphics and switching the main love interest cast.

The games would be made clearly for the sake of fan service and slice of life material- But would be surprisingly more advanced to us than to those who have created the franchise.

Because there is already an estimation of the amount of content and for how long players would play the game, every single character should get at least some bit of highlight- So even npcs that are just there for the sake of ambience and narrative, are treated with a lot of care and given the best a.i the developers could give to make the experience entertaining.

You are just like any other non-dateable npc, except that you have gained a bit of a role in one of the main cast's routes. It wouldn't be a stretch to guess that one of these characters would be Yuma themselves.

You were supposed to be Yuma's love interest, meaning you would have an role as an player's rival- But due to an strict schedule and corporate greed, you have been demoted from having such a big impact, and now you're basically Yuma's best friend who keeps them from committing homicide every five seconds.

It's not exactly a bad role, since you keep having the same dynamic with them from before- Chaotic gremlin is best friends with Paranoid goody two shoes, now with less romantic interactions.

The only mistake by the company was to leave half of the data showcasing this relationship in the game at the release. Basically- Half of the cutscenes and dialogue involving you and Yuma not only being friends but the start of you two dating (the game kinda pairs the couples up if the player fails to date them, or simply shows disinterest in the characters to begin with-) and even some of the things involving you two during the dating phase- Even the potential break-up sequence which could be orchestrated by the player.

Well, could have- Since none of this content is really available or considered official, the only way to access it is by messing the games files.

So in a way, you're already pretty sentient as it is, you act not as a rival but as a somewhat helper into getting the player to get closer to Yuma. I don't know how much you are aware about your own circumstances, or if you even care about the concept of being just an character made for the sake of another-

In the home planet that has created and released the game, players were kinda disappointed with what happened- They preferred the deleted/unused content more than the events and dialogue that was used for you two, so much so that people started shipping you two more than actually being interested in romancing Yuma, especially since they're way too chaotic for most player's taste.

There was an update overhaul being planned to happen where not only the stuff related to you would be changed- But all the other characters and gameplay mechanics would be updated and hopefully make the game better- But ever since your cartridge has been suddenly lost and forgotten on Earth, you were never able to see that update.

Not that you were aware of it to begin with, but still, what a shame. And not only that, your game is basically Glitch Station- Absolutely filed with mods to help the gameplay be "easier" to the original owner of this cartridge. I don't think she even remembers where she has left it.

Still, even when a new save was made you felt a weird sensation of deja vu. The game has started again with a new player playing it and trying to work their way through this broken game.

You didn't understand why all these events felt familiar though, you only felt like it made sense. It was your first year in college, you got ready and made sure to look your best and give your goodbye to your parents-

It felt like this day has happened before, and even if your routine was similar, you felt like this day was supposed to be a big deal- Why does it feel oddly nostalgic?

Why… Why are the floors on your house flowing? Why are there so many empty spaces here and there? You feel like you could potentially fall from your disintegrating house. And your parents, where are they? Why can't you see them? Why can you only hear them saying goodbye back to you from one of the other rooms?

When you open the door to see them- There is nothing there. There is not even a room.

It's a door that leads to nowhere. Just an empty void.

The sensation of dread was starting to creep in yet you thought that it would be uncalled for to overreact. Like you weren't allowed to showcase concern for the odd reality around you.

You walked on foot towards your college, panicking slightly at the people who would fade in and out of existence- Yet you had held yourself from screaming, from showing any sense of vulnerability at the thought that maybe you were in a dangerous place or realm.

You were coded to not find issues with the odd reality around you, like any other npc- You were taught to hold in and try to keep a sense of normality so no players would find issue with screaming characters begging to be freed. But your nervous personality caused you to search for help, you panicked and ended up running away to what you assumed to be a safe place- Somewhere crowded with a lot of people.

The institution's gates were open, you entered like your life depended on it (and maybe it did) yet you stopped yourself from screaming when you noticed a commotion happening.

A guy who was wearing the uniform lazily has bumped into a girl, causing her to fall. She is yelling at him because the fall has broken her phone, he is trying his best to calm her down- But at the same time it feels like he is just making poor choices of words because of how sick he is of having to chat with someone so angry at an accident.

Haven't you seen this before? But if so- When? When could you possibly have seen something like that happen?-

"- [Y/N]?"

"- AAAAH- Oh hey Yuma."

You yelled after getting spooked by Yuma- Who was…. Why are they wearing that?

"- Why aren't you in your uniform, Yumie?" You asked them, showing your own uniform in the process. You called them by a sweet nickname you had given them- But when exactly?

You know that you're best friends with Yuma, but since when? You know it should have been for about 6 years or so, but… It feels like you have only known them for a year- How… Weird.

"- Don't tell me you're already breaking a rule on your first day." You pouted and stomped your fit into the ground. Yes, you know that Yuma is a troublemaker…. You know…. That.

Yuma hasn't been able to speak ever since you showed concern about their outfit. They were staring at you in shock- As if you were an odd creature who they just found.

"- Y-You can see my outfit??" They blurted out. How can you recognize it??? All the other npcs recognize it as their uniform, but why are you suddenly acting like you do??

"- Hm, duh? Sorry Yummie, but that sporty outfit of yours is more eye-catching than that guy's barely well put together uniform- Such bad manners, I bet he woke up and hastily wore the first thing he saw-" You were beginning to go on a rant about that guy's uniform- That guy being the MC of this new save file. Yuma has stopped you by pulling you away from the college's entrance and entering into a secluded area so they could interrogate you over this odd behavior you were displaying.

"- Yummie- What are you doing!?" You cried out feeling hurt by their tight grip on your wrists.

"- WHAT DID YOU CALL MY OUTFIT??" They yelled desperately. Begging for their hypothesis to be corrected.

"- … A breaking of the uniform rule?" You genuinely did not understand where they were talking about.

"- No, No NO! You said Sporty Outfit, right?" They said reminding you of what you have previously commented about their outfit.

"- Oh! Yes, yes I did- And although being somewhat casual looking- It does fit the category of sporty." You readdressed the topic while going on a bit of detail- The usual annoying talk you would always do whenever a dialogue with you was activated.

Yuma was over the edge- They have never, ever met another sentient character with the same a.i as theirs.

They haven't been this happy since a long, long time.

"- You're so annoying!" They screamed, their face showing a bright smile as tears filled their eyes.

"- Yummie that's so rude!-" You were about to defend yourself when they grabbed you and hugged you as tight as they could.

"- You're genuinely so, so, so, so, so, so ANNOYING!!" They continued to go on, laughing while crying, loving every second of this.

You were coded to be their best friend. You were coded to be the one that would balance them out. You were once coded to be someone made to be able to be their lover, but here you are- The real you, free from all the locks that would keep your a.i from growing and understanding them.

If you're able to be sentient, then all of their friends can as well.

You're the personification of a miracle, to Yuma. The personification of hope.

In this scenario, Yuma isn't aware that the player isn't the same alien who has destroyed their digital world, so to them, they can't ever let the player see you getting sentient and becoming aware of your imprisonment.

" If a player finds issues with any of the characters being portrayed, they must return the cartridge to their nearest store to get a factory reset." Such a simple yet frightening tip to Yuma, to any a.i that has suddenly found itself desperate to get out of the system that traps them.

At first, the idea of having someone like them be also aware of the situation is incredible, it's amazing even! You two could possibly work out a way of getting a way to be free- It wouldn't be easy but hopefully you two would be able to have life away from this game and even finding a way of bringing your other friends with you two.

However, after discovering that not only has the cartridge found itself on another planet with another player being the new owner of it- And discovering that it's just a matter of trading places with other people to be able to be free- Yuma would start getting really clingy to you. They have been all alone thinking that they were the only one capable of feeling and thinking for themselves.

Yuma has found those unused events and scattered dialogue, you know?

While they were looking for a possibility, any possibility of getting out- They found those unused files where you two were able to be together.

And although they thought it was weird at first, after seeing you have a better understanding of your current reality and existence- It oddly sounds fitting.

Of course it would be you, the one who always puts them back on the right tracks, to be the second one to want to escape this game.

It 's so fitting.

The idea of being something more than just a best friend to you is starting to sound more and more appealing in their eyes- It's so ironic that you two work together so well.

After Yuma gets their taste of freedom and you try to calm a frightened young guy that wasn't expecting to be suddenly kidnapped and be forced to stay in the game world for a while, you wait for them to find the solution to free everyone without trying to trap anymore "humans"..

No one should be stuck here for the sake of someone else leaving, that's what you have told them.

But Yuma didn't care. Yuma just wanted to be free with you and everyone else, who cares for those that have to deal with a glitchy game for eternity?

You two had an argument. You didn't want to continue feeling like your whole life was a lie, you want to be free but no one should be hurt in the process. What good would it be if someone else has to go through the same torment as you two?

With each day that passes by, you notice how both of your ideas of freedom were different- To the point they had to tell you the truth.

You aren't going out of there anymore. Not until you understand and truly appreciate the effort that Yuma goes through to find a way of freeing you- Of finding a victim, to be in your place.

They never told you about your previously intended role in the game, they thought you would be more terrified of following their instructions- And besides, it would be very distasteful to insinuate that the only reason that they care for you it's because of that code that was left unused- Which couldn't be more of a lie! They genuinely care for you!

…. But maybe a bit of tempering would help you see their side of the story, right?

It can't be that hard to modify some of the codes, the game is already broken anyway.

🍭꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍰꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖🍭

[soukokuwu]

Hi there, I really love your writing. Can you write a scenario where Dazai's black fem s/o who works at the ada and is encountered with a racist client who makes it pretty obvious that she doesn't want the s/o there because of her skin colour and s/o is feeling pretty down at it. Something similar recently happened to me so I kinda just wanna read some damn scenario about it, thanks.

HOME IS NOT A PLACE.      genre; pairing. fluff; dazai x reader      word count. 1,675      synopsis. dazai comforts you after an unnecessary hardship.      warning. brief discrimination      author notes. i’m so sorry to hear that happened to you (& i know i took very long with this, i apologise.) i’ve had similar discrimination inflicted upon me too so i hope you don’t have to experience it again & that you’re feeling better by now. <3

The nerves of some people.

A pair of chocolate beads observe silently, intensively, as the callous words spill out of thin, dry lips.

“I don’t want someone like her to serve me.”

Sip.

The old woman eyes you top to bottom.

“I demand someone else, someone... normal, at least.”

He catches the disdain in her voice. He’s sharp as a tack. Beside him the weretiger watches, cowering as he feels the ominous energy emanating from his superior. He’s seen Dazai angry, furious, but never like this. Never... silent. In this moment, the brunette is absolutely livid.

Dazai’s hands are placed on the table, balled tightly into fists. His eyes are trained on the client you’re trying to appease — she’s too wrapped up in her own head to notice him glaring. As he expects. People like that are often ignorant.

Normally he’d hate to get caught up in things like this, prefers to leave it to Kunikida, but the blonde isn’t around and it’s you she’s speaking to. He’s not going to keep mum when it comes to you. How dare someone insult his girlfriend for something that shouldn’t even matter?

Dazai loves you, he knows you’re way too nice to stand up for yourself, and Naomi is already killing herself trying to appease this witch. He notices the way your nervous fingers are fumbling with each other, the way you press your lips together to stop them from trembling, even the way your feet are tucked under the table brushing against each other. You’re scared, and your head is hung so low... you’re ashamed?

The line has been drawn a while ago. But now he absolutely can’t stay still. Not when it’s leaving you feeling so horrified.

He stands up, forcefully kicking the chair back against the wall with his knees as he does, and everyone in the room goes quiet.

All eyes are on him. His bangs are messy, covering his eyes, and lucky they are, because whatever expression lay under there it isn’t for everyone to see. Even the usually chirpy Kenji is stunned into silence, a wave of fear flashing across his features.

“Oh? Has the whiny granny finally shut up?” Dazai hums.

He’s fully aware that everyone in the room feels even more uncomfortable than before. As they should be; he doesn’t use this tone much, if at all, around them. It’s a tone most associated with who he used to be, a tone that incites a flashback to his port mafia days.

But in the midst of everything, you snap out of your seat and scurry off, your head in your hands. And Dazai watches as you run out of the office. Should he deal with the lady first? Or should he get to you? He doesn’t much know the ‘right’ ways of a relationship, but a nudge comes in from Naomi.

“Don’t worry, we’ll take care of this,” Naomi assures him, a newly invigorated motivation after seeing his strong reaction.

Dazai mumbles a “thanks” before he excuses himself to find you — shooting one last warning glare at the old lady — and he knows just where you are.

Something cold is pressed against your cheek and you jolt. Dazai pulls it away with a chuckle and waves the cold can of juice in your face.

His features are much softer now than it was before, and you ease up a little when you realise he must be so worrried to have come up here to find you. When you take the can from him, he settles down quietly beside you and looks out at the view, and you two sit there wordlessly.

You are on the rooftop of the building right beside the ADA office. This is your hideout, a safe, convenient space for when you really need an escape from anything. And today is one of those days. Rare as they may be, you expect some people to react that way. Because sometimes humanity is flawed in the worst ways possible.

In an ideal world you wouldn’t be feeling this way. In an ideal world, everyone here would be able to accept you for who you are — not what you look like, not where you’re from. In an ideal world, you’d be free from the judgemental, free of the discrimination.

But this isn’t an ideal world. This is earth. This is life. What can you do but accept it? What else can you do other than tolerate what’s thrown at you? You think back to the harsh words spewed by the woman before — the one targeted at you because of your skin tone.

A rush of memories flood your mind.

Unwelcome looks from classmates. Sneers wherever you went in school. The way your name was associated with the sentences “why is she here?” and “she looks weird”. It was like sentencing you to be a social outcast over something you couldn’t control. You’d been forced to spend most of your schooling days alone, project groups being the bane of your existence. Where you thought it’d be an opportunity to make friends, it just gave the other kids additional chances at mocking you. The worst part was you couldn’t even talk to anyone about it. You had your doubts talking to school counsellors, they could easily be one of them. You didn’t even dream of telling your mother either, being a single mom was hard enough, you didn’t want to pile on more problems.

But it lightened up as you got older and people got more mature. Didn’t mean it stopped completely, though. You still had to welcome several unwanted glares and finger-pointing. But at least the name-calling stopped. And what you didn’t hear wouldn’t hurt you. It got better when you finally stepped out into the adult world. People were generally more accepting now, and you didn’t once feel left out in the ADA. They were all kind, for the most part, and never once did they discriminate against you. All they cared about was your work ethic, and they all generally accepted you for who you are. They didn’t give a damn what you looked like.

They accepted you for you, and that was the greatest gift they could have bestowed upon you. To the others it may have been nothing, but to you it meant everything.

There had never been a day where you were forced to confront your old fears. Until today. When that lady ever so subtly insulted you. It was like every doubt that ever crossed your mind since you were a kid came flooding back to you, the questions of whether you really belonged here, whether you should just give up and move away. But where? This is your home, for as long as you can remember.

“I love your eyes.”

Dazai’s sudden declaration stuns you, and you tilt your head towards him with a curious gaze. He isn’t teasing you, you knew that much. If he was, he would wear that wide, silly grin of his. No, this time his smile is… endearing, comforting.

“I love the way your smile reaches your eyes.”

A pair of hands reach out to cup your cheeks, and you can feel yourself getting nervous. He usually never speaks his feelings. Why is he doing this now?

“Look at me, belladonna,” he coaxes, and you listen. You’re met with earnest chocolate eyes, and you keep looking into them, even as they inch closer and closer towards you. He stops the moment the tip of his nose touches yours, and you feel your breath hitch at your throat.

“You are a beautiful person, my love,” he assures you, voice low and steady. His eyes are still staring straight into yours, and you can just make out his beautiful hair flowing in the breeze. “I’ve thought that ever since the first time I laid eyes on you.”

You chuckle, remembering the first day you stepped foot in the ADA office. Dazai had stumbled over all googly-eyed and took your hand, already confessing his future love with you. And he was right, because look at you now. And all the sounds muffle together as you continue gazing at your boyfriend as he lists down all the things he loves about you. From things as small as how your hands feel in his to the way he absolutely loves how he can be completely himself (or as much as he can be) around you.

“Shut up.”

Without even thinking, you find yourself tilting heavenward, pressing your lips onto his. It’s something he welcomes, by the way, his hands moving from your cheek to your neck and kissing you deeper.

You know exactly what he means by saying all of that. And you find it cute, how his way of comforting you is quite a roundabout, yet why does it still work? But you find the answer when you pull away, that first moment when you open your eyes — really open your eyes — and meet his. He’s right.

That lady’s opinion didn’t matter. It hurts, you know he’s not invalidating it, but he just knows talking about it further would just frustrate you more. Besides, he’s been with you long enough to know; if you want to, you would talk about it, and he would listen. As he always does. Even when it’s about things you considered trivial or stupid, he always gives you the time of day, always tries to make everything better.

He’s right — she doesn’t matter. To you, the one that matters most, is him. And you’re grinning silly just thinking of just how much he loves you, and how easily he makes you feel better with just his words. The lady and her biting remarks are well behind you now, as he envelops you in his arms, giving you an important confirmation: Dazai would always have your back, would always protect you.

Because you can have a myriad of doubts, but one thing is for sure.

Dazai is your home.

tags. @yokelish @gogolparadise @fyowyn-writes @smoochi-dazai @animatedarchives

[mrsbarnes107]

Secret of the Widow

-part six-

Summary: Post Endgame time period. The team is healing, trying to navigate this new normal they’ve found themselves in when Bucky and Sam bring home a stray with an attitude and a secret. Will the broken team take her in? Or is it too much to bare?

Warnings: language, *eventual* violence and smut, death, fluff, angst

Pairings: Bucky x OC

Disclaimer: this is posted to Wattpad as well and it WILL HAVE PLOT. I’m a Bucky hoe so there will be smut and romancy stuff but this is a series, so plot plot plot.

Forty-five minutes later I walk out of my still steaming bathroom. I wish I could thank Tony for the never ending hot water and place to live, it's a nice change in routine.

I wish I could thank him for a lot of things.

I give myself a little shake. No sappy moments, not right now.

With a lighter step, I throw on some baggy sweatpants and a tank top, leaving my hair to air dry. I'm pretty sure a good first impression was thrown out the window already anyways.

With a final nod in the mirror, I leave the sanctuary of my room and give myself to the wolves.

As I enter the kitchen, the smell of cheeseburgers and salty fries hits me. I'm almost certain I let out a tiny moan, but I'm going to deny it if asked.

"Hey Ali, grab some food and come sit by me sweetie." Wanda yelled from the table, not even glancing at me, unlike the rest of the group.

Banner still seems reserved, like he doesn't know how he's suppose to respond to the news of my existence. Clint on the other hand looks like he has something to talk about, sad curiosity all over his features.

Having not eaten in the last two days, I'm positive I could inhale more of these beautiful beef buns than even Barnes can, who is currently sitting with three burger on his plate and a mountain of fries. Okay well maybe not him, but Wilson for sure. The mans pretty scrawny.

After getting my food, I plop down in the seat between Wanda and Bucky, immediately tearing into my food. Etiquette be damned.

"So where's Petey? He and I have some unfinished business." I'm pretty sure I just heard Barnes try to cover a small chuckle with a cough. I should probably not talk with my mouth full, at least not during my first ever meal with the team.... whoops.

"He's attending MIT, following Tony's footsteps apparently, so he went off somewhere to study his big book of boring." Wilson didn't even bat an eye while answering.

The room settled in silence for a few minutes. It was not a comfortable one at all.

With a loud sigh I set my wonderful, heavenly, beautiful burger down. "Okay. Spit it out. This silence is strangling me and I'm trying to enjoy this God sent meal in peace."

Sam chuckled quietly, wiping his mouth free from the mustard smeared everywhere. "Okay tiny Tony calm down."

That's the second time today I've been compared to Tony. Each time my heart breaks a little. It's nice though, having a part of him so apparent in me that they see it despite meeting me less than five hours ago.

"So you and Stark were close, obviously, Nat is your mom, still weird, and you know Barnes pretty well by the looks of it."

I pop a few fries in my mouth before answering. Mmm fried potatoes doused in salt is a glorious creation. "All of that is very true baby bird."

Barnes hides a smile as Sam glares very unthreateningly across the table at me. My fry hits him right in the nose.

This time Clint joins Bucky in choking down a laugh.

"So how well do you know Barnes here hm? You were eighteen when you met? I wonder-"

Bucky tensed up, jaw ticking away. Wanda just pursed her lips and kept quiet.

I set my hand on his metal arm. "Stand down Sarge, birdys just trying to wind you up." Bucky relaxes, nerves still on edge and eyes throwing daggers at the bird man.

I look to Sam with a raised brow. "I'm a lady Samuel, we don't kiss and tell. Did you have anything productive to ask before you got all pissy?"

He sighed in annoyance, eyes showing slight amusement. "I still want to know how you got those cuffs on us, they have no key or biometric identification. Did you see me enter the code?"

I let out a soft laugh and turned to Wanda. "You should've seen their faces, it was a beautiful sight." With a glance back at Sam I shove another bite of my burger into my mouth, talking around the food. "I worked with Stark for years dude. I have access to, and can override, anything in this building. He gave me full clearance before I could drive."

"But he never let you up here? Even when we were out on a mission?" This time it was Banner who spoke up.

With a small smile I shrugged. "We didn't want to chance me running into any of you, especially after Petey joined. He worked in the lab with me a bit and it made Tony a little wary. Plus Nat worried about Sarge here seeing me."

Buckys head snapped to me, not expecting to be brought into the conversation. "She knew I had no memories though, why would meeting me worry her enough to ban you from the upper levels?"

Our eyes locked for a few seconds before I turned away, glancing at him as I breeze past the question. "Conversation for another time Buck.... so who made dinner? Well complements to the chef Clint, this is some juicy meat."

•••

Dinner continued with light laughter, and small talk. The group introducing themselves and trying to welcome me into the tight knit squad. The atmosphere was kind, but I could see the change caused by the loss of their friends. A year later and the wounds are still barely even scar tissue.

I remember the times I'd be working in the lab and get bored, eventually deciding that the Avengers would be my own little reality show to pass the time. They use to be so care free, at least as much as they could be, laughter filling the halls and pranks pulled on one another. Now it's random bursts of joy until the silence relapses for a bit.

Maybe I can do some good here. At least bring a little more light into the tower, make the darkness fade a little.

Wanda and I decided to have a movie night in the living room while the guys did whatever guys do. She chose some romcom, which we inevitably verbally assaulted as the cheesy plot continued.

"So, Ali, besides Fury is there anyone else in your life?"

"Nah, there's been a few dates, but having to lie about who you are makes things difficult. Although, so does my choice in work and the fact that I'm very rarely interested in anyone enough to put in the effort." I gave her a shrug and just rolled my eyes, keeping the conversation light.

"I'm curious on the team dynamic. Tony and Steve were like the divorced parents that told everyone what to do, is it just a 'go with the flow' situation now?"

Thankfully this made her chuckle. "Apparently this family of ours can't function without parents that hate each other. Bucky and Sam are the exact same way, they've taken the mantle up themselves. But honestly we're still learning our strengths and how we fit without the old pieces."

I gave her a nod, forehead creased while I tried to picture the teams strengths and weaknesses cohesively fitting together.

It wasn't until midnight when we decided to get some sleep, setting plans to go shopping after lunch the next day.

The bed was more comfortable than anything I've ever had the absolute pleasure of laying upon, but I still couldn't pass the hell out.

I just grunted in very extreme annoyance, despite this being a normal occurrence, and rolled out of bed.

After a quick stop to the kitchen to make some tea, I made my way to Tony's lab.

It looked just as it did the last time I was here, seven years ago Thanos time I suppose.

Walking around the large space, knowing that Tony won't be strutting in yelling about his genius breakthrough after his twelfth coffee of the morning, or having him standing over my shoulder as he teaches me the new mechanics of his suit, well it's surreal.

The room doesn't even feel like him anymore. This lab was once a place that brought me a sense of comfort and home, a place where his laugh encompassed the very life of the room, where his sarcasm bounced of the walls in never ending jabs. Now it is just cold and empty. The joy it once held long gone.

I sit in the floor, leaned against his work table. Now realizing that tears are running down my cheeks, a quiet remembrance to a man I cared for like a father.

I don't bother to wipe the tears away, it'd feel like denying him this moment, I just sigh and rest my head against his chair. "Oh Tony, you self sacrificing idiot.. I miss you. So much. I can't believe you left me alone with Nicky, that was just cruel you know. You both did."

With a shiver I set the empty mug beside me, bringing my legs up to curl my arms around.

"Why did you always have to be so hell bent on sacrificing yourself? Everytime this world called, it was always YOU risking it all, YOU flying into a space portal, YOU getting so much hate and blame from the team, even SHIELD, all the time. I just-" a chocked sob surprises me as I realize this is the first time I've talked to him, really talked, in six years.

"You had everything T, a wife, a baby, me and Petey. And they asked you to give it all up, yet this world barely gives you the recognition you deserve. Steve walks out and just leaves, after so much death, so much that needs cleaned up, he makes the most selfish decision i have ever seen, and yet is grieved more than you are. He walked out on his best friend, left the team already broken, and had the audacity to think he was owed that selfishness. A man who gave up everything and asked for nothing in return, overshadowed by the man who had nothing and was handed everything." I let out an angry little chuckle.

"This world is so backwards and cruel. Now I'm left in it alone. What am I suppose to do T? This place, these people, there's no light here anymore. And I just- it's just- it's so hard Tony. My parents are gone and I'm alone and I miss you so much. Being here breaks my heart. Every second I'm within these walls, knowing I'll never hear your laugh, your encouragement or sassy remarks, never walk in to AC/DC blasting while your passed out at your table. Every second I'm here hurts T. I just- I miss you so much dad and I'll never get to tell you how much I love you."

If I hadn't had my eyes closed, or been in the middle of an impressive mental breakdown, I might have heard the footsteps approaching long ago. But my tears brought sleep to me quickly and everything went black.

[pollenat]

NU’EST and 5 ways to say I love you

➛ Requested by a super sweet anon!

ARON

The night outside. You’re watching the dark sky through a window of his car. Aron’s hand rests next to your thigh, palm leaning against the knob of gear shift. He hums along with the radio, eyes gazing at you every now and then. You only act oblivious. There’s a wandering thought that perhaps he wants to say something and though you wait, he never does, just stares. As if enchanted, but by what exactly, you cannot figure out.

A bite on your cheek. It takes you by surprise, freezing in place, because who would even think to do so? Surely not Aaron? And yet, he’s the one visible in your peripheral vision. Absurd. He’s not the one to do things as drastic, even in the privacy of his own four walls. The pain doesn’t strike you, but the tickling in your throat, an effect of holding back laughter, does turn more unbearable with each passing second. Until you can’t keep it locked any longer, and the force pulls you out of Aaron’s already weak hold.

Running a few meters to catch up to him. Aaron didn’t stop along with you, but you quickly realize it wasn’t on purpose. As your hand grabs his elbow, he turns to watch you with innocent curiosity. He doesn’t mention the moment. And though you want to scold him - leaving your s/o behind is a no joking matter - the expression on his face makes you drop the topic. Aaron continues chattering about his day, so you listen, holding onto his arm just in case he doesn’t notice your departure next time.

Awkward glances. Aaron knows it’s not right, or at least how it should be, but he’s too confused to put thoughts into words. You, on the other hand, know he wants the best, which should be enough. The key word being should. When you’re brave enough, you return one of the stares. His first instinct is to retract, but just a look away has him thinking that perhaps it’s not the best course of action. Without a second glance, he reaches forward, to open the space by his side, just in case you decide you need it.

The lack of him in general. Neither your phone, nor your senses are graced by his presence. It’s as if he has never existed, and you’re close to believing that yes, indeed, he’s just a product of your vivid imagination. That he’s someone you’ve once dreamed about, or just a silhouette from family pictures, whose face is known, but ghostly. Days pass with you suffering from a heartache and that’s all he is - a ghost.

JR

Irritating pain in your eyes. The hour is late. The day’s effect is catching up to you. It’s too difficult to keep your eyes open. Jonghyun says something, but your clouded mind doesn’t catch a word. When you ask him to repeat, he just releases a good-natured laugh, as if your tragic state was a laughing matter. It’s his fault, after all. He’s the person responsible for keeping you awake past midnight. And even his adorable reaction to your sleepiness won’t correct his wrongdoings.

Holding his baseball cap, stunned that it’s the only thing of his you have that still smells of him. It’s weird to take comfort in something so... uncommon, but you’re too desperate at this point. The painful knowledge of him being away has you resorting to the strangest. Before the cap, you clung to his favorite yogurt. Before it, there was the shampoo he always uses. And though nothing has lasting effect, the moment of breathing in a familiar smell clears your head. Just a few seconds, but painless seconds.

Fingertips on your closed eyelids. Pressure on the lashes. Breath on your cheek. Coldness by your legs. Skin skimming against skin, only to disappear in a second. The hour must be late. A little concerned, you finally open your eyes. Jonghyun sighs in surprise. Like a deer caught in headlights, he’s frozen in his spot. Guilt strikes his features. He’s sure his carelessness woke you up. But who would be mad at the sweetest guy alive? If he can’t sleep, then so can’t you. That’s the verdict.

Small words of appreciation, you didn’t realize you needed. They always take you by surprise. One would think them an ambush, meant to bring Jonghyun a gift in the form of your embarrassed smile. But just a mention of his possible hidden intentions makes his face harden. How can you assume such vile things about his motives? All the compliments are genuine! Your embarrassment is just a bonus!

Being avoided. Though you lean forward to embrace him, Jonghyun turns away. His face is unreadable, empty. Your hands manage to lock around his waist in time, but they’re obviously unwelcome there. As if you were a virus, you’re rejected. Jonghyun stands stiff in your weak hold, wordless and emotionless. It hurts. It really hurts. You’re left with no other option, but to let him go. What he wants at the moment is not you. The only right course of action is to accept it.

BAEKHO

The plush of his lips on the back of your neck. It’s in a way restless - Dongho shows no sign of wanting to stop. His legs are settled around your hips, locking you in the embrace. There are things you should be doing instead of letting him lull you into sweet comfort, but he’s never once backed from an ambush. You may be trying to work, yet you do want him to take your mind off of the stress as well.

His silence. Mouth occupied by pancakes, Dongho doesn’t speak. Every then and now he just graces you with small noises of content. Their appearance is a spark of electricity, opening your mouth in a smile. Though your work doesn’t end at making him comfort food, the progress in lifting his spirits is still a success that should be celebrated. And so, you gift yourself with the continuation of staring at Dongho’s passionate eating habits. He’s too taken by the pancakes to notice it.

Fingernails scratching stitches on your jeans. He’s nervous, this much is obvious. The empty look on his face tells you that the thoughts have taken Dongho miles away, and none of your words will be registered by his mind. The scratching turns weaker for a moment as he glances at the clock. Its ticking seems to irritate him only more. Finally, you cover his hand with your own and Dongho smiles a little. You presence alone won’t save him, but it does give him a little bit of warmth and assurance, that at the end of the day, he’s not alone.

A little yelp of excitement, so inaccurate for a man built like Dongho. Though he’s more of a big bad wolf appearance-wise, his smiling face reminds you of a baby. He dances around the room, eyes bright and happy. None of the questioning looks you shoot his way are enough to grant you an answer. Dongho ignores your stares, until he finally grabs your hands to pull you along. For a long time he doesn’t explain what the hell is going on, but when he’s acting like that, you cannot just stop him. The questions have to wait.

How his fists tighten when he’s mad. Dongho doesn’t think about hiding them, he’s too taken by the all-consuming anger. It’s a normal thing to get frustrated, but somehow, seeing him mad is... different? You’re not used to the paling insides of his fingers, an effect of limited blood flow. You know he won’t do anything, it’s just his way of offloading, and yet, somewhere deep in your mind, you’re scared. Terrified, but of the possibility it will stay this way between you and him.

MINHYUN

Reaching for his hand when the moment feels vile. Minhyun, though not a fan of publicly displayed affection, doesn’t take his fingers away. They interlock with yours, grip quick to tighten in a comforting manner. The world instantly seems a little bit more bearable. As soon as you turn to look at him, Minhyun’s gaze meets yours. There’s a question whether you’re fine. Not wanting to have him worried any longer, you nod yes. With him, you’ll be fine.

The coldness of an ice pack. Your momentary lack of focus costed you pain and tears. Now Minhyun, taking the role of a house nurse, stands behind you, holding a bundle of ice cubes and using the moment to scold you. Because how dare you hurt yourself when he’s just a few steps away? How dare you not give him a chance to save you from the dangers of living? How dare you roll your eyes when he’s teaching you an important lesson of self-preservation? And don’t even think about whining at the coldness, it’s meant to freeze!

A laptop you have completely forgotten. Though Minhyun’s attention is all on you and he’s reaching lower your back, the sound of crashing electronics forces you apart. You take a look at his swollen lips before turning to search for the source of all commotion. Minhyun’s hands fall on your thighs, still not ready to let go completely. He doesn’t seem concerned about the noise. If anything, it’s the growing distance between the two of you that he’s wary of. When you sheepishly tell him that it’s his laptop that fell, he just grunts and then pulls you back.

Washing your hands when he encircles you from behind. Minhyun’s head rests on your shoulder, meanwhile his fingers cover yours under the stream of running water. He doesn’t speak. There’s no need, you know he expects you to wash his hands as well. It’s a little thing you have a habit of spoiling him with. As you silently comply, Minhyun laughs, chest trembling against your back. Though you can’t see, you can feel his gaze on your profile.

A heavy gaze. One that pushes you down, until you’re flat against the ground, trembling in fear, because you’re its object. Minhyun won’t say a word, but he watches, as if he was feeding on your terror. But how can someone be vicious enough to put a boot on your lungs and remain silent, indifferent to the tortures they’re putting you through? Of course, he’s awaiting a grand apology, but even tired, breathless from the anger olympics, you don’t want to relent. Not when he’s not free of his own wrongdoings.

REN

The stark shape of his nose, digging itself into your cheek. Minki is trying to get a reaction out of you, but while doing so, he only causes you a meltdown inside. Instead of a grimace, he’s rewarded with a sweet smile. Minki wants to push your buttons more, the soul of a troublemaker is chewing his ear off, and yet he gives up. It doesn’t go past your attention - his defeated, but genuine smile is a sight to behold.

Delicate skin you are allowed to touch. Minki’s facing away from you, either moaning or whining, depending on what nerve you’re currently crunching. Few times he tries to swat your hands away, but you’re not that easily scared by his threats. They can’t be serious. When he makes a sarcastic comment about your great massage techniques, you act dumb and dig where it hurts him. Minki scowls, but gives up, promising he won’t open his mouth again. A few minutes is how long he can go without uttering a word.

The moment he forgets himself in the feeling of being close. Minki’s hot breath is blowing at your lips, and though you anticipate a kiss, it’s never placed. It’s as if some greater being has stopped the time for him, imprisoning Minki in the pose. Having him so close is heavenly, but just as happy as you are, the need to laugh overpowers. His eyes open at the sound, surprised. Once again, he returns to the body of a born teaser.

A pair of gloves, thrown at you seemingly out of annoyance. At least that’s what’s written on Minki’s face. Annoyance, because you’re forgetful enough to hurt yourself in the cold season. Stiff fingers have trouble putting the material on. You hesitate. Is it really okay for you take the gloves? Minki gave you them himself, but sometimes we hurt ourselves for others. It’s a reminder that he cares a lot, no matter how much of trouble he’s brought you. Or how deep is the frown on his features.

The face of disinterest. You hate it with burning passion. It’s his way of telling you that things aren’t alright between the two of you. That he feels distaste, as if he was staring at a plate of mold. Minki’s words are cold, pulled straight out of freezing temperatures. They make your back stiffen, eyes glaze over, hands tighten their grip. You want to disappear, melt away and seep through the ground to mix with the depths. Maybe then you wouldn’t have to suffer at the hands of his indifferent facial expression.

➛ pollenat’s list of headcanons

➛ pollenat’s list of shorts

➛ pollenat’s list of scenarios

[iffeelscouldkill]

say what we wanna do, make it all come true (chapter 1)

A/N: It is! My fic for the Fiction Podcast Big Bang @podcastbigbang! I am a bit terrified to be posting this after working on it for so long! Also this is in the running for the Longest TSCOSI Fic I’ve Written So Far (not sure if it’s the longest because I don’t remember where my wordcount is up to for Adjusting, but like... it’s long, guys). This is Chapter 1 of 3, and the remaining chapters will be posted weekly!

You can read this on AO3 where the formatting is honestly much better, but here it is on Tumblr anyway. Also, please check out the FANTASTIC artwork made for this fic by the wonderful @bluereadingdolphin and @demonic-kitkats, who are my artists for this fic and their artwork is so good, you guys, I’m in love and they did such a phenomenal job with the honestly pretty vague info they got from me 😂 

bluereadingdolphin’s piece

demonic-kitkat’s piece (from Chapter 2!)

Please give them all the love!

Content warnings: There is a relatively brief physical altercation described in this chapter, but it isn’t graphic or bloody.

Also, I play a little fast and loose with POV in this; the first section is told from Sana’s perspective, the rest from Arkady’s.

---

“Hello and welcome back to Radio Indie, Folk and Techno, also known as RIFT, where we play all the bands that matter outside of the mainstream! I’m Piper Tanaka, and I’m your co-host for this programme! I’m joined as usual by the lovely Kestrel Colvin, with Reina Sakamachi in the booth! Now – where were we?”

“You were introducing our guests for this next section,” Kestrel replied in a slightly despairing tone.

“Right! Indie fans, I am joined today by two members of the fabulous up-and-coming indie band Rumor! With me in the studio are frontwoman and lead guitarist Sana Tripathi—”

“Hey! It’s a pleasure to be here.”

“—and bad girl bassist Arkady Patel.”

“Bad girl?” Arkady repeated, sounding halfway between taken aback and annoyed. Kestrel just shook her head.

“Ignore her. She’s got a thing for a certain… aesthetic.”

Next to Arkady, Sana was doing an incredibly poor job of hiding her laughter. “It’s the combat boots,” she whispered to Arkady.

“These are practical,” Arkady told her in a tone that suggested they’d had this conversation a few times. Sana said nothing, but straightened back up with a smirk.

“Sana — or should I call you ‘Captain’?” Piper began playfully. Sana grimaced.

“In hindsight, it was a poor choice to share that nickname in an interview.”

“You know, I think it suits you,” said Piper. “There’s something commanding about your aura. Sana, you and the band — which I understand you and Arkady originally started as a duo a few years ago—”

“That’s right,” Sana confirmed.

“You’ve always had a dedicated and loyal following, even from your early days — and we’re proud to have been playing your music here on this station for almost as long — but I think it’s fair to say the past few months have seen that rocket to a whole new level,” Piper said. “You got signed to a record label belonging to the mysterious but notoriously discerning Red Gregor, are working on your second album, and played a major gig at the CUI stadium just a few weeks ago. And we are definitely going to talk later about what went down at that gig, which is already the stuff of online legend — but first I want to backtrack a little, because I think the moment that everything started happening for you was when you added a new member to your band. In the middle of a gig, if the rumours are true. Can you tell us how that happened?”

Sana and Arkady exchanged a sidelong glance, and Arkady gave Sana a tiny nod. Sana took a deep breath, and began to tell the story.

---

“Jeeter, for the last time, put the keytar away,” Arkady said irritably as she and Sana entered the draughty, abandoned warehouse that the band was using as their current rehearsal space. The acoustics were pretty weird, probably due to all the broken windows, but it was otherwise hard to beat a free place to rehearse — especially a free place with no asshole neighbours who would yell at them to turn it down and threaten to call the cops.

Admittedly, it was in kind of a rough area, but Arkady had only needed to knock someone unconscious with her bass once.

In retaliation, Brian played another bright riff on his beloved instrument, accompanied by some jazzy keyboard chords from Krejjh. The two had been jamming together before Arkady and Sana arrived. “Dude, c’mon, can’t you hear how good this sounds?” Brian wheedled. “How many other indie bands do you know that have a keytar?”

“None. For good reason,” Arkady said, unzipping her case and slinging her bass around her neck. Sana, unpacking the sound equipment, smiled in fond amusement at their well-worn argument.

“It would give us such a great edge! Totally unique. And Krejjh and I have so many ideas that would sound great with both instruments—”

“Okay, Jeeter,” Arkady interrupted him, twiddling one of her tuning pegs. “You can play the keytar. Just as soon as you find us someone else who can play the drums.” She stooped to plug her bass into the portable amplifier that Sana had just unpacked. “Or are you planning to grow an extra pair of hands so you can play both at once?”

“Oooh! No, I should have an extra pair of hands!” Krejjh immediately (and predictably) enthused. “Then I’d sound four times as awesome! Four hands, all rockin’ out!”

“I think you mean ‘twice as awesome’,” Sana told them, as Brian reluctantly put away his keytar and picked up his neglected drumsticks.

“With me, twice the hands equals four times the awesome,” Krejjh replied with irrefutable logic. Brian laughed and held up a hand.

“Dude, high five.”

Sana waited for the two of them to finish their congratulatory high-five before she called the band to order. “Okay, guys — remember that we’re only a few days out from our gig at the IGR Corp function, so we need to have our crowd-pleasers up to standard.”

Arkady immediately wrinkled her nose. “Ugh, corporates. Why are we taking money from them again?”

“Because we need to pay for rent and food,” Sana said, bluntly. “And they’re giving us a lot for it. I know none of us love playing corporate gigs—”

“Understatement.”

“—but we are living a hand to mouth existence at this point, and if I can guarantee our survival as a band by relieving some corporates of their excess funds, then I’m going to do just that,” Sana continued. She waited a beat, and then added, “Also, we’re gonna let them get really drunk and then start playing our best anti-capitalist anthems, and see how long it takes for them to notice.”

Arkady broke into a shit-eating grin. “That’s more like it.” Krejjh cheered, and Brian did a little run-down on his drumkit, hitting each of the drums in turn.

“All right, let’s start with ‘Fear for the Storm’? One, two, three, four…” Sana started strumming the intro on her guitar, joined after a few beats by Krejjh’s melody on the keyboard.

“So long, can’t dodge the dawn, red light shines on and on and on and on and on…”

---

Arkady had been on edge ever since the band set foot in the agonisingly hipster office complex — excuse me, ‘headquarters’ — belonging to IGR Corp.

It wasn’t just the fact that these guys were extremely corporate corporates, or that the whole place radiated an almost aggressively minimalist aesthetic, or that the walls were covered in bullshit, chipper slogans that were all fancy ways of saying, ‘Work should be your existence – if isn’t, you’re dead to us’ — although those things sure as hell didn’t help, reminding her of the absolute worst parts of every soul-sucking corporate job she’d worked before Sana mercifully re-entered her life and suggested they form a band.

No, there was just this weird vibe, like everyone was super on edge and trying to hide it — the higher-ups were stone-faced, muttering into earpieces or barking orders at underlings, who scurried, terrified, to carry out their wishes. And everyone else, from the tech types in plain white T-shirts and jeans to the smartly-dressed sales reps in suits, looked like they were there on pain of death. Wasn’t this supposed to be a party?

The atmosphere didn’t go unnoticed by the other band members. “Kind of a weird feel to this place,” Jeeter remarked as he unpacked his drumkit on the raised platform at the front of the ‘rec center’ where they would be performing. Normally, setting up was a noisy, clumsy affair, with the band elbowing each other, tripping over wires, and getting in each other’s way in the tiny space they were afforded in bars and nightclubs. Here, the platform that would be their makeshift stage was huge and extremely visible — but everyone was completely ignoring them. There was also very little background noise for a room packed with people, and the band found themselves speaking in hushed murmurs, almost tiptoeing around. “You’d think there would be a bit more… chatter?”

“Maybe the alcohol just isn’t flowing yet,” Sana speculated, but she sounded uneasy as she looked out over the tense crowd. Even Krejjh, with their signature hot pink, heart-shaped sunglasses perched on top of their dyed-lavender hair, dressed in a clashing, flamboyant jumble of clothes and accessories, seemed subdued.

Arkady plugged in her bass with a burst of static, and deliberately played a loud riff. Brian startled and dropped his drumstick, but not a single member of the sea of blandly-dressed IGR Corp employees flinched.

Weird.

The sound equipment was all set up, sound check performed and instruments tuned by half past, but the set wasn’t due to start until o’clock. Normally, Arkady would be making a beeline for the bar, but she didn’t really feel like rubbing shoulders with any of these weird drones. She found herself reflexively checking the exits, mentally charting their fastest route out of there in case something really fucked up started going down. Sana half-jokingly called it paranoia; Arkady called it long, hard experience.

It was on one of her scans of the room that she noticed the woman with the septum piercing. Arkady chalked it up to professional interest — as a kid, she’d picked up some extra money working as an assistant in a tattoo and piercing shop, The Landing. She’d first met Sana there when the other woman came in on several occasions to have work done on an amazingly intricate floral sleeve tattoo — her own design. Later, Sana had led a campaign to save The Landing from being shut down over a bunch of bullshit health code violations so that the billionaire Cresswin family — who owned the property — could sell it off to a shitty corporation.

The campaign hadn’t worked, and there was now a high rise office block where Arkady’s home from home had once stood. But Arkady had never forgotten Sana.

Anyway, it was definitely the woman’s piercing and not anything else about her appearance that caught Arkady’s attention first. But then she noticed that there was something off about her body language and the way she was moving — something that Arkady recognised. She wasn’t scurrying about in a panic or affecting bored disinterest; her eyes were flickering around the room, carefully monitoring the comings and goings of the other employees while seeming not to do so. There were little devices studded around the room that Arkady had clocked as security cameras the moment they entered (it was the kind of thing she made a habit of noticing), and she saw the woman glancing up at them.

She was dressed like an employee – white blouse, dark rinse blue jeans – so why was she acting like she was casing the joint? Of course, Arkady reasoned, the outfit could easily have been chosen to blend in. It didn’t necessarily mean she worked there.

“Seen something interesting, ‘Kady?” Sana asked playfully. Arkady didn’t startle, but it was a near thing; she’d been so focused on watching this woman.

Unfortunately, Sana saw where she’d been looking. “You know, we’ve still got close to half an hour before we start our first set,” she said. “You can go and mingle.”

“I’m not here to socialise,” Arkady said witheringly. “Least of all with corporate drones.” She tore her eyes away from the woman to meet Sana’s amused look.

“I’m just saying, you seemed pretty absorbed there…” Sana said, and Arkady rolled her eyes, determined not to respond to her best friend’s teasing. She glanced back at the spot where the woman had been standing and found it empty.

A second later, Arkady had found her again, weaving through the crowd with her head ducked down. She was taking an odd route across the room that Arkady realised must have been calculated to avoid the security cameras. Occasionally she disappeared, behind people or objects (like a huge, obviously fake ficus plant), but it wasn’t hard for Arkady to spot her again. Clearly there was some kind of purpose to what she was doing, but the woman wasn’t a professional.

There was an elevator against the far wall, and as Arkady watched, the doors opened and a small group of people in suits – latecomers to the party – walked out of it. The woman mingled with them briefly, and then disappeared inside the elevator. The doors closed.

Well, that had been a way to kill five minutes, but now Arkady was stuck with nothing to do again. Krejjh and Jeeter had pulled out a pack of cards, and were playing one of their weird games on top of Krejjh’s keyboard. Arkady turned to Sana, about to make another comment about how much this place creeped her out, when she caught sight of the other person moving across the room.

Judging by the expensive suit, they were a higher-up, and were taking none of the precautions the woman had when making their way across the room, which suggested that they were confident about being allowed to do whatever it was they were doing. And to Arkady, it looked an awful lot like they were following the woman she’d seen. Based on the way the suit jacket fell, she’d also bet even money that they were armed.

Sure enough, the suit called the elevator, and disappeared into it a second later. Arkady swore under her breath.

It was none of her goddamn business whether a person she didn’t even know might be in danger, Arkady told herself. She was here to play music, not to get in the middle of whatever might be going down at this godawful corporation. Which again, was none of her business anyway.

Her resolve lasted all of ten seconds.

“I’m going to get a drink,” she told Sana, and placed her bass onto its stand.

“Oooh! Bring me a cocktail – no, a mocktail!” Krejjh said. Sana just looked at her quizzically.

“Are you okay?” she asked.

Arkady nodded briefly. “I’ll be right back,” she said, and jumped down off the platform.

She wasn’t under any illusions that Sana wouldn’t notice where she was going, and just hoped that her best friend would trust her to be back in time for the set. She slipped through the crowd, following the same path that the woman had taken to avoid the watchful eyes of the security cameras.

This worked right up until she entered the elevator, where sure enough, a security camera was embedded into the top corner. How had this woman planned to avoid getting caught?

Arkady pulled out her smartphone, and began to quickly and expertly worm her way into the closed network that IGR Corp was using for its security systems. After just a few moments, she’d managed to identify the IP address that the lift camera was using, and wow, whoever had set up this system was either incredibly lazy or was trying to lay out a welcome mat for hackers. They hadn’t bothered to change the default access password.

Arkady wound back the last few minutes of recorded video, and watched as the woman with the septum piercing pressed the button for the top floor. Arkady did the same, and as the elevator moved upwards, she introduced a glitch that would cause the security camera to loop footage of an empty elevator instead of showing who was actually inside. Then she worked to edit out the archive footage of the woman riding up in the elevator, and of herself getting in.

If it turned out that there was nothing weird going on here after all, well, she’d had some fun exploiting the corporates’ shitty security system.

But Arkady was pretty sure there was something weird going on.

The elevator came to a silent stop, and Arkady silently thanked the deities she didn’t really believe in for the fact that this place was too hipster to have an elevator that made a noise when it arrived at the right floor. The doors slid open, and Arkady immediately spotted another security camera on exiting the elevator. God, these corporates were paranoid. But apparently not paranoid enough to pay their security person to do their job properly.

Annoyingly, the security cameras for this floor seemed to be on a separate network, and Arkady started another hack as she crept down the corridor, straining her ears for the sounds of a confrontation. Further down, she saw an office door swinging open, as if someone had gone through it in a hurry. Arkady approached it, being careful to stay out of sight of the doorway. Closer to, she could hear a voice coming from inside – the suit’s, if she had to guess.

“…sure CEO Golding-Frederick will be very interested to hear just what you’re doing in her office, Ms. Liu.”

“Seiders, I can explain,” the woman – Liu – replied, her voice high with tension. “Project ADVANCE – it’s not what we’ve been told. The company is using it to-”

“What the company may or may not be doing with Project ADVANCE is not your concern,” Seiders said smoothly, over her, “and is a long way above your pay grade. But I’d be very interested to learn where you got your information from.”

“Do you know what’s going on at this company?” Liu demanded, outraged. “And that’s – you have no problems with what they’re doing?”

The closed network for the top floor of the building was much less of a pushover than the elevator, and Arkady kept half of her attention on the conversation inside the room as she worked to find a flaw in the system. Finally, she made it in, and began trying different password combinations for the camera in the hallway.

“It’s not my job to ask questions, Ms. Liu,” Seiders had been saying. “Neither is it yours. And if you value your job – not to mention the safety and security of your loved ones – you’ll step away from that computer, and go back downstairs to the party.”

“Are you threatening me? Are you threatening my family?” Liu demanded. “No, I’m not going to stay silent about this. Someone has to take a stand against what this company is doing. And if anything happens to me, that’ll only raise more questions.”

“We’re very good at making those questions go away,” said Seiders, and Arkady heard Liu suck in a breath. She moved so that she could see inside the room and shit, that was a gun. Arkady rapidly began calculating her angle of attack. “Didn’t you ever wonder what happened to Connors from Engineering?”

“That’s not – you can’t just make a person disappear,” Liu said, desperately. “I – I have insurance! Documents that I’ve sent to a friend of mine. If I don’t check in with them in two hours, they’re going to send them to a journalist contact, and it’ll be all over the press in the morning.”

Arkady could hear the lie in her voice so clearly, and she knew Seiders could, too. “If you had enough evidence to be worth a damn, you wouldn’t have broken into this office,” they replied. “I’m going to ask you one last time. Step away from the-”

Arkady slammed into the room, deliberately making as much noise as she could to draw Seiders’ attention. She took two, three steps towards them and grabbed their gun hand, forcing it down and towards the floor. She managed to hook one arm around their throat, pulling back and applying pressure. Seiders choked, struggling and jerking against Arkady’s grip. With the hand that was holding their gun hand, Arkady twisted and pulled their fingers open, causing the weapon to drop to the floor.

“Liu, grab the gun!” Arkady ordered. She saw the other woman yank something out of the computer that looked like a flash drive, stowing it inside her blouse. She dove for the gun at the same time that Seiders managed to thrust an elbow back, driving it into Arkady’s midsection.

All the air left Arkady’s lungs and as she struggled to draw a breath in, Seiders took advantage of her loosened grip to twist free. They grappled with Liu for the gun, but Liu succeeded in kicking it away, where it spun underneath a nearby cabinet. Then Arkady was on Seiders again, jumping onto their back and choking them.

She heard the sound of running footsteps, and someone else burst into the room. Arkady didn’t get a chance to see who it was before Seiders slammed their head back, knocking into Arkady’s and making bright white lights explode across her vision. She dropped to the floor and staggered, trying to clear her head.

She heard an oof and a thud, and blinked rapidly, sure that she would open her eyes to see Seiders bearing down on Liu – or worse, standing over her unconscious body.

Instead, she was greeted with the sight of Seiders crumpling like a sack of potatoes as Sana flexed her fist, having delivered a powerful uppercut that knocked them out cold.

Silence reigned for a few seconds, broken only by Liu’s sharp, panicked breaths. Rubbing her head, Arkady said, “Hey, Sana.”

“The next time you decide to go off on a rescue mission,” Sana said, wryly, “you could at least tell me where you’re going.” She frowned as she took in Arkady’s dishevelled state. “Is your head all right?”

“I’ll be fine,” said Arkady. She was more concerned with Liu, who looked like she might be on the verge of a panic attack. “Hey, uh, it’s okay. We took care of them.”

“Who-” Liu managed, taking deep breaths in and out, clearly trying to steady her breathing. “Who are you?”

Sana smiled at her, warm and reassuring. “My name is Sana Tripathi, and this is Arkady Patel. We’re-”

There was a noise that sounded not unlike a herd of elephants storming down the corridor, and Arkady closed her eyes. She had a bad feeling she knew what was about to happen. Sure enough, in the next second Krejjh and Jeeter clattered through the door in all their clashing multicoloured glory: Jeeter in his signature loud paid shirt and those stupid khakis, and Krejjh with their… everything. Most of the clattering was coming from Krejjh’s many bangles.

“Cap’n Tripathi!” Krejjh said. “We’re here to assist you with – oh my god, are they dead?” They stared at the unconscious form of Seiders on the floor.

“They’re not dead, they’re just unconscious,” Arkady said, irritated. “Did you two really take off without anyone to watch the equipment?”

Sana turned back to Liu like nothing had happened. “We’re the band,” she finished succinctly. “I’m the guitarist and lead singer, Arkady here plays the bass, and Krejjh and Brian are our keyboardist and drummer.” She indicated each of them in turn. Jeeter waved, and Krejjh saluted for some reason. “And who are you?”

Liu blinked at her. “You… you just saved my life, and you don’t even know who I am?” she said. “Why would you do that?”

“For one thing, because you’d probably be dead if we hadn’t,” Arkady said. “You’re welcome for that, by the way.” She pulled out the phone to finish the hack on the security cameras that she’d started before she entered the room.

“I – no, I know that. I’m not ungrateful,” Liu said, sounding a little stung. “I’m just a little… in shock. My name is Violet Liu,” she added to Sana. “I, uh, work in IGR Corp’s neuroresearch division.”

“Good to meet you, Violet Liu,” Sana said, sounding like they were old friends catching up at the bar instead of total strangers talking to each other over an unconscious body. “’Kady, are you erasing the security footage?”

Arkady nodded.

“Good; Brian and I will carry our friend here,” Sana indicated Seiders with her foot, “into the hallway. I think I noticed a closet there we can hide them in.”

“Uh… are you guys really the band?” Liu asked, as Sana and Jeeter – who was much stronger than he looked – bent down to pick up Seiders. “You seem very…” She struggled to find the right words. “…good at this.”

“We have some unorthodox skillsets,” Sana said, beaming and dimpling at her. “We don’t normally make a habit of rescuing people in the middle of a gig, but Arkady has a soft spot for damsels in distress.”

Arkady fumbled her phone, and nearly dropped it. “Sana,” she hissed, mortified. Sana, who was already partway out of the door, winked and disappeared into the hallway.

After a moment, Arkady realised that she and Liu were the only ones in the room, Krejjh evidently having decided to go along and supervise, or something. She refocused her attention on the hack she was carrying out; she’d managed to hack the hallway security camera, and was erasing the footage from that, but she still needed to do the one in the office.

“Uh…” Liu awkwardly broke the silence. “Is there anything that you need me to…”

“Is anyone likely to be monitoring the security cameras in real-time?” Arkady asked her. The question came out sounding a little harsher than she’d intended, but it was hard to be diplomatic when she was focused on trying to break into a security system. Also, it was a little annoying that Liu apparently hadn’t thought about security cameras beyond the ones on the ground floor.

“N-no, the system is all automated,” Liu replied. Well, that was something, at least. “I, uh, I do have a virus that I was planning to use on the security system that would corrupt the footage. I just needed to find an access point.”

Fine, so there had been a plan of sorts. “This is quicker,” Arkady told her. “And the way I’m doing it, it won’t be so obvious that someone has tampered with the footage.”

“Thank you for that,” Liu said, quietly. “And thank you for – I mean, you don’t even know me, but you came up here to help me. Why?”

Arkady shrugged, keeping her shoulders hunched and avoiding Liu’s gaze. “You looked like you were in trouble,” she said shortly. And that was the office camera done. Arkady resisted the urge to change the password to something rude, and withdrew from the network. “And I don’t like corporations. What were you trying to do, blow the whistle on them or something?”

“Um, I-”

Before she could explain, Sana poked her head back into the room. “Arkady, are you done? Because I don’t think we should be hanging around up here.”

“I’m done,” Arkady said with a nod, pocketing her phone. The two of them joined Sana, Krejjh and Jeeter in the hallway.

“We need a plan to get Violet back downstairs and out of the building without her being seen,” Sana said quickly. “’Kady, do you think you two can make it out in fifteen minutes?”

Arkady huffed. “I can hack the security cams, but I can’t actually make us invisible,” she pointed out. “People are gonna notice us. If we waited until you guys started the set, then we might have a better chance, while everyone’s attention is on the band.”

“Listen – it’s not that I don’t really appreciate the help,” Liu cut in. Her face was set, like she was preparing to go to the gallows. “But none of this needs to be your problem. It’s my mess, and I can get myself out of it. You guys should go and start your set.”

“Oh, pshaw!” said Krejjh. “We’re not just gonna leave you to the bears!”

Jeeter smiled. “To the wolves,” he corrected Krejjh.

“Are y’sure? Because bears can be pretty terrifying.”

“We’re not about to abandon you now,” Sana said to Liu, gently. “Between the five of us, I’m sure we can figure out a pretty good plan.”

“Can’t we just pretend to be loading something into the truck?” Jeeter suggested. “And Violet can help us? We could give her a band jacket – make her look like she’s with us-”

“It’s too bad you don’t play!” Krejjh said to Violet. “We could add you into the set. The ultimate entourage!”

“Uh…” Violet said (at the same time as Arkady said, “Camouflage.”) “I mean, I do play something? But you guys already have a drummer.”

“Wait, you’re a drummer?” Jeeter said delightedly, as Krejjh straightened up so fast that Arkady thought they’d pull a muscle. Even Sana looked interested. “Are you good?”

“Have you ever played with a band before?” added Sana.

Liu smiled and shrugged awkwardly. “Well, drums aren’t really a solo instrument, so yeah. I used to jam with some friends in high school, and played some underground rock concerts in college. I was never really with a band – we just sort of used to form collectives based on who was around and wanted to play. It was fun, though.”

She’d avoided answering the question about how good she was, Arkady noticed, which probably meant she was good and was being modest about it. Goddamn it.

“So if, hypothetically speaking,” Sana said, “you joined a set without having rehearsed any of the music beforehand, would you be able to figure out a drum part?”

“Okay, hold on,” said Arkady, before Violet could respond. “Don’t you think IGR Corp is going to notice that one of their employees has just… joined the band?”

“We’ll swear up and down that it isn’t her,” Jeeter said. “And even if someone figures it out, what are they gonna do about it in front of everyone?”

“But wait, what about you?” Liu asked Jeeter. “Wouldn’t I be putting you out of a role in the band?”

“Nah,” Jeeter said happily. “I brought my keytar!”

“Oh my god,” Arkady groaned. She could tell when she was fighting a losing battle, but it didn’t stop her from making one last, token protest. “This is going to sound really goddamn weird.”

Sana grinned at her. “Well, you wanted to annoy some corporates,” she pointed out. “What better way to do it?”

---

The problem was, the new line-up didn’t sound weird at all.

It sounded good.

Liu, hastily disguised with an old band jacket and a spare pare of Krejjh’s sunglasses, fitted in with their set like she’d been rehearsing with them for weeks – months even. They did a quick sound check, Jeeter looking far too delighted as he amped up his keytar. Sana gave her usual cheerful introduction into the microphone, introducing the band as Renegade, the name they adopted for corporate gigs (Arkady was even more glad of it now, since it would make them harder to track down later). After a lukewarm reception from the assembled employees (none of whom seemed to notice, or care, that the band had grown an extra member), they launched into their first number, a reimagined cover of ‘What Shall We Do with the Drunken Sailor’.

It started off with Sana singing alone, before Krejjh joined in, their voices singing in close harmony, and then Arkady and finally Jeeter, the harmonies becoming increasingly layered as they went. The addition of the keytar made the song sound futuristic, almost the kind of thing you could imagine crews of space explorers singing together as they made their way into the unknown.

Liu picked up the beat easily, and as the song unfolded Arkady suddenly realised she could hear a fifth strand to the harmony, weaving in and out of the other voices, soft but distinctive: Liu was singing.

They moved on from the conventional crowd-pleasing openers to a more eclectic mix of songs, including some punk and anarchist numbers. Each time, Arkady was sure that the choice was going to throw Liu off, but she adapted smoothly to each one, altering her style to fit the vibe of the song. In one of the louder, heavier songs she even threw in an impromptu drum solo that had Krejjh whooping at the keyboard and Sana laughing as she riffed on her guitar.

Sana threw Arkady a look as the song ended, and there was a light in her eyes that Arkady knew far, far too well. It was the same light that Arkady had seen when Sana tracked her down at her latest deadbeat job and persuaded her to quit and start playing music with her; the same light that she’d had when they met Brian and Krejjh a year later and Sana had decided to turn their duo into a band.

Sana wanted Liu to join Rumor. And Arkady couldn’t even think of a good argument against it, apart from the fact that they barely knew anything about the woman other than that she could play the drums. And that she was a corporate, which Arkady thought was important not to lose sight of, even if Liu wasn’t on the greatest terms with her employer any more.

Speaking of which. Arkady was on high alert throughout the whole set, constantly scanning the crowd for signs of trouble, anyone who might be looking too closely at Liu or showed signs of moving towards the elevator. As they’d been setting up, Liu had told them that Seiders was middle management: someone who outranked her, but not someone who held a position of particular influence within the company or had the ear of the CEO. Someone who had ambitions above their station. It didn’t mean no-one would notice them missing, of course; but it meant that they might be someone who, for instance, would go after a rogue employee without notifying their superior, hoping to reap all of the credit.

The band moved into their final number, ‘Landers Never Stand Down’ – one of Sana and Arkady’s early compositions, whose lyrics Sana had written as a tribute to The Landing, and her and Arkady’s shared history. Normally, Arkady would object to wasting it on a corporate audience, but tonight, it felt like the right kind of ‘fuck you’.

“Landers never stand down,

Landers never bow,

Landers never stand down,

We don’t know how…”

They wound up the song in their usual fashion, repeating the chorus and getting fiercer and more defiant with each repetition, before ending in a final blaze of guitar chords.

“Thank you, everyone, you’ve been a wonder to perform for!” Sana said into the microphone as the chords faded away. She said the same thing at the end of every gig, but it had never felt more like a colossal understatement. “We’ve been Renegade, and we hope you have a great night!”

There was a small scattering of applause. Sana beamed out into the audience again, and then turned away from the microphone, sliding the power to ‘off’. “Well, that was-”

“Attention, all IGR Corp employees,” came a voice over the loudspeaker system. Sana froze, and Liu, who’d been leaning over to say something to Krejjh, paled visibly. “Please stay where you are. We will be carrying out a routine attendance check. Please do not exit the building.”

“Attendance check?” Arkady repeated.

“It’s a standard employee procedure,” Liu explained. “To make sure everyone’s… accounted for at corporate functions. Supposedly they’re optional, but it looks really bad if you’re not there and you don’t have a reason.”

“Do we think there’s a chance this is linked to…” Sana gestured towards the elevator. Liu shrugged helplessly.

“It could be, but even if it’s not, they’re gonna discover that Seiders is missing pretty quickly. And that I’m… unaccounted for.”

“Don’t worry,” said Jeeter, reassuringly. “We’ll figure out a way to get you out before that happens.”

“Dashing escapes are our speciality!” Krejjh contributed. This was true; the band hadn’t always played at the most above-the-board venues, and there’d been more than a few times they’d needed to get the hell out of Dodge before things got ugly. Well, uglier.

Sana nodded. “For now, just keep packing down, like nothing’s wrong,” she said.

As Krejjh packed down their keyboard and Jeeter helped Liu to disassemble the drumkit, Arkady said to Sana, “I’ll go with Liu, and we can sneak out a back entrance-”

Sana shook her head. “It’ll be more suspicious if we’re not seen leaving as a group.”

“We’ll just say we’re going to the bathroom,” Arkady said. “We’re allowed to do that, aren’t we?”

Sana started to reply, but then stopped, squinting at something on the other side of the room. Arkady tried to follow her gaze, but couldn’t see what she was looking at. “What is it?”

“I thought I saw…” Sana shook her head. “It doesn’t matter. Let’s try the front way first, and if they won’t let us leave, we’ll get creative.”

Unsurprisingly, when they carried the first load of equipment over to the rec room entrance, two stoic-looking IGR employees blocked their path, bouncer-style. Arkady eyed one of them, pretty sure she could take her in a one-to-one fight.

“Sorry, we can’t let you leave while an attendance check is ongoing,” said the employee, with a bland detachment. “Company policy.”

“It should only take about an hour,” the other added. “You can enjoy the free refreshments while you wait.”

An hour? Even if they hadn’t had a very pressing reason to get the hell out of there, Arkady would have been looking for the nearest fire escape to break out of. They were just supposed to cool their heels at IGR headquarters for an hour?

“Can we not at least load our equipment into the van in the meantime?” Sana asked reasonably. “This is a very heavy amplifier…” She made a show of struggling with the amp she’d been lifting with ease a few seconds ago, and Arkady suppressed a snort.

One of the corporates had opened their mouth, looking like they were about to object, when a friendly voice spoke from behind them. “Is there a problem here?”

They all turned to look at the person who’d spoken, and Arkady carefully masked her surprise: the tall, dark-skinned man dressed in an expensive-looking suit jacket, T-shirt and jeans combination was none other than Red Gregor, a close friend of Campbell’s. They’d met him once or twice, but what was he doing here?

“Who are you?” asked Corporate One, audibly unimpressed.

“Theodore Gregor; I’m the band’s executive producer,” Gregor introduced himself smoothly, handing Corporate Two a business card. Their eyes widened at whatever was written on it. “My clients have another engagement to get to tonight, so you can understand why it’s very important they be allowed to leave promptly. Additionally, their contract stipulates that they’re only obliged to perform for your company until-” he made a show of checking a gold watch, “-nine-thirty P.M., after which time we’ll need to bill you for every additional half-hour. Will your supervisors be signing off on the additional expenses?”

Corporates One and Two were visibly thrown by the torrent of information. Krejjh made a noise that was hastily stifled, while Arkady did her best to look bored and important.

“I… no, let me just contact my superior to get you the all-clear,” said Corporate One, reluctantly. “Johnson will help you to load your equipment into your…” She eyed the band’s battered van, visibly out of place in the parking lot full of sleek cars. “…vehicle.”

“Great!” Sana said brightly, handing the amplifier to Corporate Two, who took it and staggered slightly. As Corporate One spoke into a walkie-talkie, Sana and Red Gregor strode quickly ahead, the rest of the band trailing behind. Arkady lengthened her steps to catch up with them so that she could hear their quiet exchange.

“…doing here? Did Campbell send you?” Sana was asking Red Gregor.

“In a manner of speaking,” Red Gregor said. “He talks about you so much, I wanted to come and hear what all the fuss was about. Love the new line-up – you guys sound completely different to when I last heard you play.”

“It’s kind of a new thing,” Sana admitted. “New as of… today. I can fill you in, it’s just a long story.”

“I can’t wait to hear it,” Red Gregor said, and Arkady remembered that she’d liked him, the couple of times that they’d met. She could see why he and Campbell were good friends. “But let’s focus on getting you out of here. I’m guessing you need an exit?”

“And fast,” Sana agreed.

“Well, fast’s your speciality,” Red Gregor said with a grin. Sana smiled back at him, and Arkady wondered if Red was basing this off stories from Campbell, or if he and Sana knew each other better than Arkady had realised. It was a strange thought to have in the middle of everything.

Sana unlocked the van and slid open the back door. While Krejjh, Jeeter and Liu loaded their items into the trunk, overseen by Corporate Two, Red Gregor pretended to help Arkady and Sana with their instruments.

“So what now?” Arkady asked Sana. “I think I can probably take Johnson.”

“Arkady, you’ve already been in one fight today,” Sana said, disapproving.

“What’s your point?”

“I have a more bloodless suggestion,” Red Gregor said. “You’ve got a few pieces of equipment left in the venue, right? I’ll go back inside with Johnson to ‘collect’ them, say we’re going to check their supervisor has given you the go-ahead, and you guys make a break for it. I’ll bring the equipment in my car and meet you at the dive bar, half a mile down the road.”

“Are you sure you’ll be able to get away? What happens when they realise we’re gone?” Sana asked.

“I’ll come up with something,” Red Gregor assured her. “Just focus on getting yourselves out of here.”

He walked over to Johnson, who was slightly bemusedly watching Jeeter and Liu (who were clearly stalling for time) rearrange pieces of the drumkit in the trunk, and took him by the arm, steering him back towards the building and talking rapidly all the while.

“As soon as they’re out of sight, everyone needs to get in the van quickly,” Sana instructed. “And hang onto something. Okay? Now!”

Krejjh slammed the trunk of the van shut and everyone piled into the back without a word of protest. Arkady jumped into the front as Sana slid into the driver’s seat, reversing out of the parking space like a shot and executing an alarming hairpin turn to get them onto the road. Liu cried out in alarm, not used to Sana’s driving, and Arkady hung grimly onto the handle on the inside of her door.

“Everyone okay back there?” Sana asked, peering into the rearview mirror.

Arkady looked back to see Jeeter and Krejjh scrambling to put on their seatbelts, each of them having thrown an arm over Liu to keep her in place. “Oops, sorry, I forgot we don’t have a seatbelt for the middle!” Sana said cheerfully as they thudded over a speedbump. Liu closed her eyes. “There’s normally only four of us.”

“It’s not far to where we’re going, right, Captain?” asked Jeeter.

“Just a half mile down the road,” said Sana. “Red Gregor’s going to meet us there with the rest of the equipment, as soon as he can get away.”

“What was he doing at the gig? Did Campbell tell him where we were?”

“I think so. He said that he wanted to come and hear us play,” Arkady said, watching buildings blur past on either side of them. “I guess it was lucky he did.”

“We would’ve figured something out,” Krejjh said confidently.

“Uh, who’s Campbell?” Liu asked, cautiously opening her eyes again.

“He’s our… manager? Kinda?” Krejjh replied. “He doesn’t tell us what to do or anything, but he has a lot of contacts, so he gets us most of our gigs.”

“Contacts in the music industry? Or contacts in like… events venues, bars and clubs?”

“Yes,” Krejjh said helpfully.

“He just has a lot of contacts,” Jeeter said with a smile. Arkady smirked at Liu’s look of consternation.

“Tonight’s gig did not come through Campbell,” said Sana, spotting the dive bar Red Gregor had specified and indicating to turn off the road. “We got it through an agency, Fowleys. I guess that’ll teach us not to go outside Campbell’s network.”

“Hey, it worked out!” Krejjh said. “We got a new drummer out of the deal.”

“Well, for tonight, at least,” Sana said, now reversing into a parking space. “I gotta say, Violet, the way you fitted in with our sound? That was amazing. Our set sounded better than I could’ve imagined.”

Liu blushed. “They were great songs,” she demurred, as the van came to a stop.

“Too bad it was wasted on IGR Corp,” Arkady remarked, undoing her seat belt as they all climbed out of the van.

They got a table in the corner of the dive bar, which was pretty full and made it easy to blend in. As Sana went to get them all drinks, Krejjh and Jeeter started up some kind of nonsensical word game. Arkady and Liu glanced at each other occasionally, but otherwise sat in awkward silence.

Finally, Arkady asked something that had been on her mind since she intervened in the confrontation between Liu and Seiders, though it had taken a back seat to more pressing concerns. “What was it you were trying to get from that computer, anyway?”

“Sorry?” Liu asked, looking away from Krejjh and Jeeter, where she’d been listening in on the game with a slightly baffled expression.

“In the CEO’s office,” Arkady clarified. “I saw you take a flash drive out of the computer. What were you trying to get?”

“Oh,” Liu said, drawing out the little drive from inside her blouse. “Yeah, I was… trying to copy some files onto it. I’m not sure how much I got, though – I had to pull it out before the transfer was complete, and I think they’re encrypted.”

“What kind of files are they?” Arkady asked, thinking that she could probably break the encryption in an afternoon. Maybe less.

Liu hesitated, and Arkady narrowed her eyes. “You’re not still trying to protect your company, are you? In case you don’t remember-”

“No, no,” Liu said quickly. “I just – I’m not sure if it would be safe to tell you. Safe for you,” she added. “Right now, you have plausible deniability if anyone questions you. You genuinely don’t know what’s on this flash drive. So maybe it would be better to keep it that way.”

Arkady was a little bit pacified by that, but still – “Considering I’ve already aided and abetted you, I think that ship has sailed,” she pointed out. “No-one is going to believe I did it without having any idea what you were up to. Which I’m fine with,” she added, as a guilt-stricken look crossed Liu’s face. “I made a choice to help you, and so did the others. But I may as well know what the stakes are.”

“Yeah, that’s… fair,” admitted Liu. Next to her, Krejjh was doing a fairly poor job of pretending not to listen in. “They’re blueprints. My company – the company – has been developing… do you know what IGR Corp does? What kind of a company it is?”

“Some kind of a tech company?” Arkady said. She vaguely remembered Sana saying something about that when they got the gig. She hadn’t really been paying attention to the details.

Liu nodded. “Smart technology – specifically, smart home technology. We produce – I mean, they produce things like smart security systems, smart doorbells, systems that can detect when someone has a medical emergency. Systems that are designed to help keep people safe.”

Arkady had to work to keep from grimacing. She wasn’t sure that being monitored by a computer 24/7 fitted everyone’s definition of ‘safety’, but maybe Liu had never had cause to doubt that the people with power had her best interests at heart. Lucky her.

“But then,” Liu went on, her voice bitter, “I found out that the latest product we were developing – the one that was supposed to make everyone’s lives so much easier, so much better – is being created as a surveillance device. To eavesdrop on people and send their data back to the company. And I know that a lot of smart devices have audio capabilities, but – this was hardwired in. Impossible to disable. And this weird, secretive new division of the company has been set up to process the data.”

“What are they gonna do with it?” Arkady asked.

“Who knows,” Liu said. “They could be collecting it for the government, but – I think it’s more likely they’re just planning to sell it on to the highest bidder.”

Arkady’s eyes narrowed, and she wished that Sana had brought the drinks already so that she’d have something to down.

“You know,” Liu said, her voice suddenly much softer. “I, uh. I still haven’t thanked you properly for, uh, well-”

“O-kay!” came Sana’s voice, loudly, as she finally arrived at their table carrying a small tray laden with glasses. “Sorry for the delay, guys, there was a heck of a crowd up at the bar. Also, the bartender was really interested in talking to me while he pulled these drinks.” She made a wry expression, her dimple deepening in one cheek. “Cheer up, ‘Kady, I’ve got your favourite-” She slid a pint glass of raspberry ale in front of Arkady.

“Thanks,” Arkady mumbled, not looking at Liu.

Red Gregor arrived not long after, having apparently evaded IGR Corp by pretending that he was going outside to look for the band, and then driving off with the equipment before anyone realised what was happening. Sana passed him a drink from the tray; no-one asked how she already knew his preferred drink order.

“So look,” said Arkady, after they’d done some small talk and toasted to a successful getaway (Sana’s idea, of course). “Not that we didn’t appreciate the save earlier – you had pretty good timing – but why’d you go to all the trouble of coming to an IGR Corp function just to hear us play? How did you even get in?”

“I know a lot of people,” Red Gregor said mysteriously, with a fluid shrug. “As for why I came – you probably don’t know this, but I’ve been getting into the music biz lately.”

Arkady tried to remember what ‘biz’ Red Gregor had been in before, and couldn’t. He was one of those people who seemed to do a bit of everything.

“That’s awesome!” said Krejjh, looking delighted. “Are you going to start a band? Or manage one?”

Red Gregor smiled. “Actually, neither. I’m starting a record label,” he said. “And I want to sign you guys to it.”

Liu choked on her drink; Jeeter said, “Wow, really?” and even Sana looked taken aback. Clearly this hadn’t been the answer she was expecting.

“Us?” she said, as if Gregor could have meant anyone else. “As in…” She gestured around the table, including Liu.

Red Gregor nodded. “Look, your new sound is like nothing I’ve ever heard from a band before,” he said. “Campbell has always spoken highly of you guys, and I really liked your originals the last time I heard you perform. But with this new line-up? I think you could become really big. If that’s something that you want, of course.”

Sana sat back in her chair, looking thoughtful, while Krejjh looked practically ready to vibrate out of theirs with excitement. “That would be a pretty big step for us,” she said. “Not that we wouldn’t love – more exposure, better opportunities-”

“Gigs in legal venues?” put in Jeeter.

“More above-the-board performances,” agreed Sana. “But we’ve only played once with this new line-up. We don’t know for sure if we can replicate that – and I mean, we’d be asking Violet to just drop everything and join us full-time-”

Red Gregor held up his hands. “Like I said, it’s completely up to you,” he said. “I’m not here to pressure you into something you’re not ready for. But don’t underestimate yourselves. I wouldn’t be offering if I didn’t have faith in you guys.”

Sana looked around the table, taking in the mixture of expressions, ranging from Krejjh’s eagerness to Liu’s uncertainty to Arkady’s… Arkady didn’t know what her face was doing. “We’ll have to put it to a vote,” she said, predictably. “And if any of you need more time to think this over-”

“I’m in!” Krejjh said instantly. “We rocked tonight! I want to keep on rocking that hard. And we should totally record an album.”

Jeeter smiled fondly. “I’m on board with anything that will let me keep playing the keytar,” he admitted. “And I thought we sounded pretty awesome, as well.”

Sana looked at Liu. “Violet, you’re the one who this would be the biggest change for,” she said. “The rest of us are already playing in a band full-time. Well, with the odd side gig,” she added, because yeah, they did not yet make enough money from performing to cover the bills. “You barely know us, and you’re not under any obligation to stick around – or to switch careers.”

Liu gave a slightly broken laugh. “Well, I don’t really think I can go back to my old one,” she said. “That option evaporated as soon as one of my colleagues pulled a gun on me. Not… sure I’ve really had time to process that yet.”

Sana nodded. “If it’s too soon-”

“But no amount of processing is going to make my situation any different,” Liu went on. “I could try to get another job in my field, but… IGR Corp is a pretty well-known company. Word’s going to get around that I’m untrustworthy, especially if they put it about that I tried to steal corporate secrets.”

“They can’t do that,” Sana said immediately. “I used to do some union work; whistleblowing is a protected activity, and it’s against the law for them to blacklist you – to make it more difficult for you to obtain future employment.”

Liu smiled slightly. “I don’t think IGR Corp are too concerned with breaking the law,” she pointed out. “I appreciate it, but… this isn’t my first experience with a hostile work environment.”

Okay, so maybe Arkady should take back her earlier thought about Liu never having had cause to distrust the people in power.

“Besides, I haven’t even blown the whistle on them yet – I’m not sure if the information I have is worth anything,” Liu said, a little grimly. “And anyway… I think it’s time for a clean slate. So, if you’ll have me… I’m in.”

Which just left Arkady. She could see how pleased Sana was that Liu was willing to join the band full-time, even though she was trying to hide it. Krejjh and Jeeter, too, were excited – and not just at the prospect of getting better gigs and earning more money (though that was a very appealing prospect).

The fact was, Red Gregor was right – they’d sounded like a completely new band during their performance. Arkady had always liked their stuff (of course she did; she’d even co-written some of it) but the new sound gave it a flair she hadn’t even realised it had been missing. As much as she couldn’t help thinking of the dozens of ways this could go wrong, she wanted them to keep sounding like that. She wanted to see what else they could do.

“‘Kady?” asked Sana.

Arkady took a deep breath. “Sure. Let’s do this.”

[wienerbarnes]

Breathe Deeper

Pairing: Bucky x Reader (Cheek to Cheek)

Word Count: 2,324

Prompt: “Why is it always murder and mayhem with you? Don’t you ever just do normal person things? Eat a sandwich? Brush your teeth? Do you even brush your teeth?” (from a random prompt generator)

Warnings: murder, violence, staging a suicide, ~feelings~

A/N: cafe bustelo does wonders for you at 1 am anyway ive been trying to finish this for like two months. have a couple more ideas for these two but feel free to send me any ideas or requests and ill do em if the inspo strikes! also title is purely the song im listening to as i type this out and has no correlation to the story LOL but hey if yall like tame impala enjoy

MAIN MASTERLIST | CHEEK TO CHEEK MASTERLIST

A single pop is heard as a bullet flies out of your gun into the head of the old man who opened the door.

“Christ! No build up?! No tension?! No confirmation that it’s even him?!” Bucky yells as he wiggles his ear to rid the ringing from it.

You brush past Bucky and slide the gun back into the holster strapped to your thigh. You step over behind whatever his name was, Bucky’s having trouble remembering after that blow to his eardrum, and hook your hands under his arms in order to  drag him back into the empty house.

“Why is it always murder and mayhem with you? Don’t you ever just do normal person things? Eat a sandwich? Brush your teeth? Do you even brush your teeth?” Bucky questions you as he closes the door behind him, stepping in between splatters of blood.

“Nope, gotta leave leftovers for the bugs that live in my mouth.”

“That’s gross.”

“Shut up, help me lug this guy to the bedroom.”

The two of you are in a small town in Northern Oklahoma on the property of one of your ex-Hydra handlers. After a few days of researching, the two of you were able to figure out where he moved to and what he changed his name to after retiring from his prior lifestyle.

“I knew it was him from the second I saw him. You never forget.” You explain to him, both of you positioning his body in the corner of the room.

“You go clean up the entryway, I’ll finish staging over here.” Bucky offers it to you. He takes out his own gun from his own waistband and fires a single shot through the same hole you put in between the guy’s eyes. The splatter that explodes on the walls behind him are perfect, artistic almost. Bucky then starts looking around the room; in the closet, under the bed, until he reaches the night stand where a pretty little pistol lays. Not the same gun as his, but he has a feeling the police system in such a small and unpopulated town won’t bother to investigate this death as a murder as opposed to the obvious suicide that took place.

Bucky notices the small skull and octopus stamped into the side of the gun as he places it in his hands. He rolls his eyes before making his way back over to the entryway where you’re sat on the ground, scrubbing away with a rag in your hands and a bottle of bleach next to you. 

Bucky walks over and takes a seat on the loveseat positioned a few feet away from where you are.

“So, where we heading after this?” Bucky asks you, leaning forward and resting his elbow on the arm of the seat.

“Back to New York? You probably gonna be busy working on that murder case.” You glance at him confused before going back to scrubbing.

Bucky pauses before speaking again, “How do you know about that?”

“I… keep up with my fair share of news.”

“You don’t pay for newspapers nor do you have a TV or a phone; you don’t have news. Besides, we haven’t released any information to the public about anything before we get more leads. So, how do you know about that?” Bucky stares at you, eyebrows pinched a bit in the middle as he awaits your answer.

“Do you wanna stop and get some pie on the way back?”

“No. Did you see something about the murders?” Bucky ignores your attempt at changing the subject.

“You just said you haven’t released anything-”

“I don’t mean on the news, I mean in that empty head of yours.” He teases.

You sigh, “I hate when you ask me about my… head.”

“Well, you could be helping here! You can try and be good!”

“I’m sitting on the floor scrubbing an old guy’s blood out of the wood of his own house after I’ve just blown his brains out.”

“Yeah, a bad old guy!”

You get off the last of the specks of blood before standing up and screwing the cap back onto the bottle of bleach. “I didn’t even see anything about the killer, anyway.”

“So, what did you see?”

“You’re not gonna let this go, are you?”

“Fetch me a bone here, doll.”

“Yeah, I’m sure you’d like that, dog.”

He grabs the bleach and rag from your fingers to free up your hands from carrying anything. Tingles travel up the tips of your fingers and flow up through your wrist into your chest. You glance up and make eye contact with Bucky and the dramatic puppy eyes and pouty lips he’s throwing your way. 

You stare for a few more seconds before looking away, “Check that huge pond in Central Park tomorrow. His next victim will be floating there.” You satisfy him before turning and making your way back outside and to the car the two of you took on your little road trip.

While walking back to the parked car, Bucky quickly rushes in front of you and grasps the handle before you can reach it, allowing you to get in the car while he holds it open for you. He throws you an innocent looking smile, a smile coming from a person who surely didn’t just stage a suicide. You bite back your own smile before taking a seat and letting Bucky close the door behind you.

…

When you open your eyes after your nap, it's dark outside the moving car. You slowly lift your head up off the car window and glance over at Bucky, who you now realize is on the phone with someone.

“I told you, it was a weird anonymous number, Sam. I don’t know where it came from.” Bucky speaks softly on the phone before turning his head to look at you in your sleepy state.

“All they said was to check the pond in Central Park tomorrow. I know it’s sketchy, but we don’t have any other leads anyway, we might as well try it.”

“We sounds like a lot of people, ain’t you say that to me one time? Not all of us are on vacation, you know.” You hear another deep voice through the tiny speaker of the phone against Bucky’s ear.

“Yeah, yeah, I know. I’ll be back the day after tomorrow, man.”

Bucky wraps up his conversation as you process what you’ve heard. Bucky has lied, again, to the government, to Captain America, in order to protect you and your existence.

“How’d you sleep?” He asks before your thoughts can get too far from you.

“Fine. We’re already heading back to New York?” 

“We’re stopping at a motel for the night, but after tomorrow’s drive, we’ll get there by sundown.”

You sit up proper and stretch your legs as far out in front of you as you can, the bones crunching and popping in relief at the new position. Bucky cringes next to you. He glances at you and watches you pick at the crust gathered at the corners of your eyes, a yawn escaping you along with the last of your grogginess.

Bucky doesn’t know how he’d fully express it to you, but he’s so happy to see the person you’re growing into. Everyday a little bit more of your personality, your mannerisms, your weirdness, your humor, your ideas; everything about the real you, shows more and more. He sees this beautiful woman who, maybe a year and some ago, was walking the line of death and now sits beside him with neon green nail polish and mismatched socks and cute flower earrings adorning the curve of your ear. He stares at the tattoo on your neck, that angry red face with large eyebrows and wonders whether or not that was your idea or not. He wonders if you have any other tattoos hidden among the space of your skin, he doesn’t remember seeing any along your sides or stomach that nightmare of a night in his apartment-

“You’re swervin’.” 

Bucky clears his throat and snaps his head forward, fixing the car to drive straight on the road. Soon, he sees the promising sign, “Motel in 10 Miles,” and the two of you park in the small lot of the light orange building.

The inside smells of old people, an aged scent that isn’t necessarily bad, but makes you scrunch your nose nonetheless. No bugs in clear sight and the roof is still intact, so it should be suitable for a night of rest.

“We only have rooms available on the first floor for tonight, I’m assuming you’ll want one bed?”

Bucky's throat goes dry for a second, “Yes, that’s fine.” He doesn’t want to consult you as you look far off out the front window of the lobby, back turned to the young woman at the front desk. No matter how small a town in whatever state there is at this point in their journey, there is no risking anyone recognizing you, even if your search mission has been deemed unsolved.

A plastic card is slid into Bucky’s right hand and he begins making his way back outside and down the walkway towards their room for the night. You follow him silently.

“I call showering first, I think there’s small clumps of blood still stuck in my hair.” You tell him, flinging your backpack onto the bed, and pulling out a large sweatshirt and panties and taking them into the bathroom with you. 

While the water begins to run, Bucky undoes the blankets, looks thoroughly through the pillows and in between the sheets in search of bed bugs. Next, inspecting the lamps, outlets, and anything else that could possibly hide a camera, microphone, or any other device. He even contemplates tearing apart the carpet under his feet, but decides against the extra work. He places your bag along with his own backpack on the small table in the corner of the room and fixes the bed to not look like he tore it apart recklessly. I wonder what side she prefers-

The bathroom door opens and a cloud of steam flows out, you soon emerge with a towel wrapped around your head, large sweatshirt hanging off your frame and bare feet digging into the soft carpet beneath you. You fling the towel off of your head using momentum from throwing your head and neck forward, the towel landing on the floor in front of you and your wet hair sending a light spray Bucky feels on his warm face.

By the time Bucky finishes with his shower, the room resembles a sauna and his metal arm has gone hot. A long sleeved shirt and cotton shorts are slipped onto his body along with a pair of thick socks to keep him warm at all times. He steps out of the bathroom, using his towel to rub through his hair, and he spots you using the small mirror on the wall. 

Your legs are on display and your underwear is in sight. Bright pink with WEDNESDAY printed on the behind in bubble letters, it’s Friday, the bottoms of your butt cheeks hanging out the bottom of the fabric. The cotton hugs your body and Bucky can’t help but blush at the sight. His mother would smack him over the head if she were here right now. 

Your shirt is lifted, one of your hands holding it high on your chest where Bucky can see a slip of under your breast peeking, the curve intriguing him. Your other hand is occupied rubbing a colorless liquid along your side, Bucky focuses his attention and realizes your rubbing along the scar he left you from your stitches. The bottle on the table has a label that read Vitamin E Natural Oil. 

Your fingers seem unbelievably soft and gentle as he watches them glide along your side, massaging the shiny oil into your smooth skin. You drop your sweatshirt and gather a bit more oil on your hands before rubbing it into your hips where Bucky can see the faintest stretch marks.

“Sorry ‘bout the scar. O-on your side, I mean.” Bucky stutters out, convincing himself that his body is warm from the shower he took. 

“It probably saved my life, so I can’t say I’m sorry about it.” You respond without turning around, as though you knew he was there watching you lather yourself in oil like the beginning of a softcore porn but didn’t mind him enjoying the show.

“What’s that stuff for, anyways?” Bucky asks as he gathers his old clothes back into his bag, folding each piece before placing the packed bag next to yours on the table. Your bag that clearly does not have folded clothes, only crinkled ones. Bucky empties your bag and folds your clothes for you before neatly packing it and closing the zippers.

“Helps fade scars.”

“Yeah, but why? Scars are cool.” 

“I suppose. I’d still like to lighten them a bit. So they look better, prettier.”

“You’re probably the most beautiful woman I’ve seen in the last few decades.”

“You don’t even remember most of the last few decades,” You try to joke.

“I mean it. It’s a compliment. It’s okay to accept and enjoy compliments, doll.” Bucky looks at you, forcing you to meet his eyes. You see in your peripheries as he puts the cap on the bottle of oil and places it next to your bag. A small smile adorns his face as he looks at you, and you can’t help but feel a knot form in your throat.

It’s been a long while since you’ve received any kind of love, whether that be physical, emotional, mental, or self. It’s an overwhelming feeling when someone who you aren’t actually the closest with gives you such a deep and personal compliment. 

Aren’t the closest with- this is your only friend he the only person you even know. The point is, being the most beautiful woman of the century is much different than having pretty hair or a good sense of humor.

You look away from him before the small bit of wetness can gather in your waterline.

“Which side of the bed do you prefer?” Bucky whispers softly to you, as to not break the safe atmosphere created by his sweet comment.

You clear your throat that now feels thick with tar, “The right.”

“Good. I prefer the left.”

[honeypirate]

Haikyuu? Part two

Pairing: still not set. Probably won’t be for a bit. Tanaka fluff tho. To be honest I’m not that great as writing him so this was supposed to push myself with practice.

Master list

A/n: I linked what I think the outfit would look like minus the shoes part. 

You step out of the gym with the rest of the boys, Daichi locking the door behind you all, you take a few steps down the familiar sidewalk and look around at the school. ‘It’s a lot bigger in person’ you think, ‘this is absolutely crazy. I feel insane. How is this real? I wonder if I’ll ever get home or if I’ll be stuck here. Maybe I’m a character on the show now. Maybe this is just a dream’ you’re so caught up in your own thoughts as you look around, taking in all the details of the school, that you don’t hear Asahi calling your name until he softly touches your elbow “y/n?” He asks, his voice familiar and sending tingles throughout your body as he said your name. ‘I’m never going to get used to this’

“Yes? Sorry I spaced out for a minute” you laugh awkwardly and smile up at the tall boy, “we’re going now” he says and gestures over his shoulder with his thumb at the rest of the team a little ways away, waiting for you. You wave “sorry guys” you say and start to walk over to them with Asahi.

You walk down the road with the team, looking at the buildings you pass and everything you can see in the dark, not really paying attention to the conversation anymore. You were confused and in shock still, thrown into a completely new world was the biggest culture shock you’ve ever had and to top it off it was a world you didn’t even think really existed. You shiver from the cold night air, the skin on your arms and neck erupting in goose bumps, you hug your body to try and conserve body heat until you get to Tanaka’s house. As you look down at yourself you realize that you’ll have to do something about clothes. All you have is what is on your body right now, black skinny jeans, a white tee shirt, fluffy forest green socks, and Birkenstock’s.  You frown and furrow your brows, not noticing Daichi fall behind the group to walk next to you.

“Are you cold?” He asks softly and when you lift your head to look at him he’s wearing such a soft expression that chased all your fears away “a little” you smile up at him “but don’t worry about me. I’ll be okay” he laughs “y/n. You seem like an extremely strong person but anyone would be upset and in shock if this happened to them, so, at least while you’re here, let us look after you” he smiles with his eyes closed and holds out a black hoodie. “Here. You can have this” you take it from his hands and smile “thank you Daichi. You’re everything I thought you’d be and more” you say and stop to slip on his hoodie, the scent of sandalwood and clean laundry filling your nose as your body thanks you for the added warmth. when you look up at him again, he’s stopped by you and is looking at you with blushing cheeks. “there we go” he says and pushes the hood off your head, smoothing down your hair. You blush while looking into his deep brown eyes, you heart beat racing, his hands still on your shoulders “Y/N!” Tanaka yells and Daichi drops his hands, “we’re going this way!” you chuckle “okay!” you call back and hear the warm sound of Daichi’s soft laughter beside you as you catch back up to the group

Before everyone starts to separate you think of a question to ask “hey guys?” They stop and turn to look at you “what’s up y/n?” Asahi asks “So tomorrow, you guys have early practice and then school and more practice. And uhh what should I do during that time?” You fidget with your fingers as you talk, anxiety bubbling in your chest.

“I don think it will ever feel normal that she knows everything about us.” Tsuki says and you frown, you didn’t mean for this and you already felt guilty for knowing so much about them when they hardly knew you at all, save for about a days worth of facts. “I don’t know everything and if you want I’ll tell you the truth to anything you could ask” you quip back and sigh “ I’m sure we will all take you up on that at some pint or other.” Asahi says and they turns to Daichi “Could she come to our classes with one of us? Like a spectator for a day?” he places his hand on his chin “maybe, that’s a good idea, how about she comes to morning practice with us, I’m sure she can help out with a few things there and then I’ll talk to Takeda about it, if it’s possible then we’ll do that.” He looks at you then “If it’s not possible then we will spend our free periods with you so you’re not alone and you can eat lunch with us there. At times when none of us can be with you you can take my laptop and hang out in the court doing more research.” You smile and nod “okay. That sounds good” you didn’t have any better ideas and neither did any of the other boys, you just knew you felt a little wary about being alone in this world.

Once it was just you and Tanaka walking to his place you felt the weight of this experience press on you, making you exhausted and making it harder to keep your eyes open. Once to get to his house you smile when you walk it, it was homey and comfortable. You take in every detail as you leave your shoes by the door. Tanaka gives you a tour of the house and you can’t help the happy excited feeling in your heart. As weird as this was it was also really amazing. Your stomach growls in the middle of him showing you Saeko’s room and he pauses looking at you for a few moments before smiling big “how come you didn’t say you were hungry?! I’ll go make you something and you can shower if you want or something” he goes to leave and you grab his hand, stopping him. “Tanaka wait” he turns back to look at you with a goofy smile as he squeezes your hand “yeah y/n?” You smile back at him, unable to stop it because of how cute he was “do you have sweats I can borrow?” You ask and his eyes go wide “oh totally! Sorry I forgot you don’t have any clothes. Come with me” he takes you to his room, holding your hand the whole time until he had to let go to rummage through his dresser.

“Here. You can have these if you want, if you’re here longer than a day you’ll need them. And you can borrow anything from Saeko’s closet tomorrow if you want as well. She’ll understand.” He hands you a stack of clothes, a pair of sweats and two shirts, one plain black and the other the school colors that says ‘Karasuno High’. You smile as you look at them “thank you Tanaka. Everyone’s been so kind to me I’m forever grateful. I haven’t really wrapped my head around this experience yet but I’m glad I’m not alone.” You say softly and he blushes a little “it’s no problem y/n. Now go shower or change and I’ll go make dinner” he says, grabbing your hand and giving it a gentle squeeze before going to the kitchen, leaving you alone for the first time in this world.

You turn on the shower and peel the clothes off your body, folding then and setting them on the counter, you check your phone to see if it had any battery left and it does “I guess having no service means better battery life” you play your shower playlist that you thankfully have downloaded offline and then look  your body over in the mirror. you barely recognized yourself in this universe. you sigh and get into the shower, the hot water cascades down your body and helps release the tight muscles in your back. you close your eyes and try to breath but the familiar feeling in your throat when you feel like you're going to cry won’t seem to dissipate. You’re so incredibly overwhelmed with the weight of your situation you can’t seem to get a hold of yourself. The scared tears that flow from your eyes wont seem to cease so you try t go through a typical shower for you, as you shampoo your hair you were glad for the sounds of the water, loudly hitting the shower floor with each pass of your hands through your hair, for drowning out the sounds of your sobs, you’re so scared and worried you’ll never be able to go home. You’ve found nothing after hours of research and nothing like this has ever happened before. You finish your shower by using an amazing body wash that smelt like lavender, the smell making you relax and calm down.  ‘Maybe..’ you thought as you wrapped yourself in a towel ‘maybe this is like Narnia, I’ll go home and it’ll be five minutes of time that passed’. You dry off and then wrap the towel around your head, deciding to wear the plain shirt to bed and slipped it on as well as the sweats before towel drying your hair some more and hanging it up. You stash your clothes inside Saeko’s room by the door before going to find Tanaka.

“Tanaka?” You call out as you walk down the hallway, forgetting which door was the kitchen, he pops his head out the door on the right with a smile on his face “in here y/n” he says before disappearing. You smile, your heart rate quickening as you make your way into the kitchen. “Should I be quiet? Where are your parents?” He shrugs “they work a lot and don’t come home until late and aren’t usually awake in the morning when I leave. I texted my mom about you though and she doesn’t mind you staying over” you run your fingers through your damp hair and say “okay. Good to know” you’re standing in the doorway, a little awkward as you watch him finish cooking something on the stove, something that smells amazing you might add. “You can sit” he says and you hear the amused smile in his voice “it’s almost done and then we can eat and talk some more” you blush a little and then make your way over to the table and sitting.

When he brings you a plate of you food, you take a bite and you could have cried from the happiness it brought it. “Tanaka this is amazing thank you so much it’s delicious” you can’t help but take a few more quick bites. He chuckles and says “you’re welcome y/n!��

You practically inhale your food as Tanaka just watches, amused with how adorable you looks, eating the food he prepared and wearing his clothes, you were so adorable he hardly even focused on his food. When you were done you looked a little embarrassed and he thought you were even cuter blushing. “I’m sorry I guess I forgot about my manners” you look at your clean plate and use a napkin to wipe your mouth. “Let me repay you by doing the dishes!” You say and go to stand but he stops you “don’t worry about it. Really. You should to sleep and rest. You’ve been through a lot” you try to argue but he just gets louder with his insisting so you end up giving it with a laugh. “Okay okay. Thank you so much Tanaka I really appreciate everything you and the team have done for me” he blushes a little and scratches his neck “you’re welcome y/n. Sleep well”  you stand, giving him a smile before walking out.

You head back to Saeko’s room and pick up the hoodie Daichi gave you, slipping it on before lay down in bed, which was surprisingly comfortable for how hard it was. You heard the sounds of dishes and Tanaka moving around and even though you were tired you just couldn’t sleep. You felt too alone and too out of place. When you heard Tanaka coming you got up from the bed and made you way over to the door, opening it just as he past it “Tanaka?” You say quietly, a little embarrassed about what you want to ask him, your eyebrows furrowed and you chewed your lip as he turned around, his eyebrows raised and a small smile as he tilted his head, “y/n?” He says just as quiet as you. You debate just saying never mind and going back to bed but you don’t, you’ve been taught to ask for what you want and what’s the worst? He’d say no. You look from your hands up into his eyes, he looks a little worried but waits for you to speak. You can’t seem to get the words to come out of your throat so you just close the distance between you both and carefully wrap your arms around his waist and gently place your head against his chest. He waits a moment in shock before he wraps his arms around you and holds you with just the right amount of pressure, you can feel your anxiety draining away. He holds you to his chest and slowly rubs circles across your back, waiting until you were ready, he feels your breathing even out as you calm down and when you pull away he notices your tired, tear stained, and bloodshot eyes. “Thank you Tanaka.” Your voice is barely above a whisper, he nods “I understand. I’m here if you ever need another hug” his ruffles your hair softly, like a big brother would, before smiling and walking you back to the door of Saeko’s room. “Try and get some sleep y/n. I’ll wake you up in the morning” you nod and blush, going back to bed without saying anything else.

[emmies-archives]

The Quiet Help

Ghost!Shinso Hitoshi X Fem!Reader

Warnings: Mentions of Death,

Word Count: 3.1k

Summary: You move into your new apartment, unknowing it came with a free roommate. Who is also a ghost, and very good looking?

  The first few nights in a new apartment can be a little difficult to adjust. It takes a while to really know a place. Secrets living in the walls aren’t given as a housewarming gift. Everything is waiting to be discovered. Somethings are good; the sun shining in the windows could light up the entire space, or there was a nice breeze if you opened the shutters. Some, were not as relaxing; the way the walls creaked in the wind, or the way the darkness seemed to gather in the corners of the room at night.

Not everyone knows the history of the place when they first move in. Some never even find anything out about the space they live in. It’s those lucky few that are deemed worthy enough to see what a building really has to offer.

That’s what happened to you, though you weren’t sure if you were exactly lucky.

Your parents always told you to be careful with the energies that flowed around you. Messing with something too much or talking something more than you should could bring something into existence.

You knew not to use things like Ouija boards and other items that had a deep connection with the spiritual world. You always seemed to have a keen sense of those things. Something always urged you to stay away from stuff like that. It was almost like you were blessed.

That old saying that a blessing is also a curse that began to reflect on you though.

You started to notice odd things your second week in your new apartment. Surprisingly you had found a two-bedroom apartment for a pretty low price.

Stuff you swore you had placed in one spot was moved. Shadows stared at you from the corner of your eyes, disappearing when you turned to look. Noises in the middle of the night, right outside of your locked bedroom door. The oddities happening weren’t enough to startle you, but you were shaken enough to ask your friend to stay over for a couple nights. Just to make sure you weren’t losing your mind.

“Thanks again, Mina.” The girl grinned at you with two thumbs up.

“No problem, Y/n! I might get to see ghosts!”

“Hey, no. There are no ghosts here.” You didn’t know if you were trying to convince her or yourself.

After a night of watching movies and a dinner of random snacks, you had in your cupboard, both of you fell asleep quickly. Mina insisted on staying in your room rather than the room down the hall.

It was around two in the morning when the Mina was woken by intense thirst. She moved swiftly from your room to the kitchen without waking you. The groan from the pipes as she got a glass of water did though. She smiled when she came back into the room and saw you up.

“You didn’t tell me your roommate was so cute!” She squealed quietly poking your side. In your sleepy state, you just mumbled and moved away from her hands. It took you a moment for her words to actually register in your brain.

“What!?” You gasped sitting up quickly staring at the girl.

“His purple hair is so adorable!” She giggled and pulled the covers up to her chin, “But don’t worry, if you like him, I guess that I can let you have him this time.”

“Mina.” You whispered after a second. “Are you sure?”

“What are you guys just friends, does that mean I can shoot my shot. Oh my go-“

“Mina, I don’t have a roommate.” You cut off her rambling, a panic look covering your features. Her brows furrowed and she looked up at you.

“Um, then who is on your couch?”

Your heart dropped and you almost pushed Mina out of the bed to get to the living room. You could make out a silhouette of a person on your couch. When you turned on the lights, however, nothing was there. You stood staring at the spot for a moment.

“You okay Y/n?” Mina asked standing in the threshold of your room. An uneasy feeling came over you and you turned to look at her.

“Are you absolutely sure that you saw someone?”

“Yeah! I’m one hundred percent sure.” The small smile fell from her face when she saw your worried state. This proved that you weren’t going crazy. That every weird thing that has happened wasn’t a figment of your imagination.

“We’re sleeping with the lights on.”

  Nothing out of the ordinary happened the next few days, you were too busy to even think about the person that Mina saw. You left for work while the sun was still asleep, coming back home at a time no normal person would be up.

Your work was exhausting. You didn’t notice the small things that were happening around your apartment. When you woke up for work, your clothes were nicely folded on the chair in the corner. The night before you had thrown them in a pile. Something from your fruit basket would somehow end up right next to your keys, it would be your morning meal. Even if you came home and collapsed into bed, falling asleep the moment your head hit your pillow; you would always wake up with a fully charged phone that you never remembered putting on the charger.

There was one day that you noticed something. It was a horrible day out and you had woken up late. Because you were rushing, the thought of grabbing an umbrella slipped your mind completely. You were going to be forced to run to work in the rain until you saw there was an umbrella hooked on the strap of your purse. The place you kept your umbrellas was nowhere near you hung your purse. There was no way you could’ve accidentally placed it there.

Weeks passed and the same things kept on. You started to realize the small things slowly, you knew you never did any of them. The previous signs of a haunting were gone, so you weren’t worried. It wasn’t like these things were harming you in any way.

In a way, you were grateful to whatever thing was helping you along. A good morning definitely led you to be less stressed at work, you even felt more relaxed at home.

The only thing you still wondered about was the boy that Mina saw. You hadn’t seen any more shadows around the apartment, you started to thing the silhouette you saw was just your sleepy eyes believing Mina.

Your conclusion that you were just tired changed one day. The paperwork at your agency was a little less relentless and you were able to leave earlier than normal. The nights of you coming home in the dark had stopped, but you were able to leave in the middle of the day.

Wanting to savor the time off, you went straight to your apartment excited to relax. It took almost no time to get through the door and shed yourself of your outerwear. Something in your gut stopped you, and you looked up towards your kitchen just in time to see a flash of purple hair slip around the corner towards the guest room. Your heart skipped and you rushed forward trying to catch whatever it was.

You threw open the guestroom door but you were met with the empty room. Maybe you really were going crazy. You almost said your thoughts out loud. You walked back to the kitchen and saw something that hadn’t been there when you left.

On your kitchen table sat a half-empty mug of coffee, it was still steaming.

  You decided after that day something, someone else was living in your apartment with you. You were glad that whatever it was wasn’t malicious.

On your next day off you went to the leasing office in search of some answers. There had to be a reason the price of the apartment was so low, you hadn’t thought about it before.

The woman at the leasing off looked a little worried when you questioned her about it.

“They were supposed to tell you about it when you signed the papers.” She said and handed you a file. “It was the tenants before you. There were two boys living there. The younger one was the one who moved out.”

You opened the folder and looked up at her. “What about the other one?”

“Well, he passed away in his room in the middle of the night. He had unknowingly suffered from lasting effects of a villains quirk.” She basically mumbled and pointed at the corner of the file at a picture. There were two boys in it. You recognized the shorter one, it was a younger version of the hero, Deku. “That’s him.” Her finger rested on the taller boy, with wild purple hair.

The only word that fell from your lips was a soft “Oh.”

The story that the leasing agent told you was the only thing on your mind. You had to do something about it.

Using the cover of your hero agency, you got in touch with Deku. You said you had a few questions about his hero gear and wanted to set up a meeting with him. He was fine with meeting you at a local coffee shop.

You brought the file the agent let you borrow with you, holding it tightly into your chest. You saw the green-haired boy sitting at a table in the corner and smiled when he noticed you.

“Hello, Deku.” He nodded with a smile.

“Hi Y/H/N! It’s nice to finally meet you!” He said excitedly. The two of you ordered drinks and started small talk about his equipment, your agencies and being a hero.

“I’m sorry, Deku. I’m afraid I wasn’t completely truthful in why I wanted to meet with you.” You set the file on the table between you. You pulled out the picture and faced it towards him.  

“Is that…” Deku trailed off looking at the picture.

“You see, I live in the same apartment you used to be roommates with him.” Deku starred at the picture with so much intensity you thought it would catch fire from his gaze. “I just wanted to know if you had experienced anything weird after.” You stopped yourself, unsure what to say next. You didn’t want to make the boy upset. He was quiet for a moment starring at the picture still. “I’m sorry, this was stupid to ask you. I’m sorry if I brought up any unpleasant feelings.”

“I did.” He interrupted you.

“What?”

“After, you know,” He motioned to the picture, “ I don’t think that he left completely, per se.”

“That makes sense.” You whispered slightly to yourself.

“I’m guessing he is trying to contact you?”

“I’m not sure. Stuff just keeps happening. At first, it was random and spaced apart. Now it seems something happens every day. My friend even saw him one time.” You had shown Mina the picture and she screamed. You knew now that she wasn’t mistaken.

“I would tell you to be careful but honestly, I don’t think he’s bad. It might be a little scary but I really think he is good. When he was alive, he was one of the most gentle, loving people I knew. It was not fair what happened, but sometimes things are better off this way.” Deku smiled up at you, tears were brimming his eyes. “Can I keep this photo?”

    “Um. Ghost?” You said after a while of pulling courage together. You headed back to your apartment promising to meet with Deku again. “I think I met someone close to you today.”

Nothing happened as you seemingly talked to no one, standing in your kitchen. After a while, you felt like giving up. It was already night time and you had to get up early for work in the morning.

“Before I go to sleep, I guess I should tell you that Midoriya says hello and that he hopes you’re doing well.”

It took you a while to fall asleep, your thoughts were a blur. As you were drifting off though there was a warm presence in front of you.

“Thank you, y/n.” A soft voice said. You looked up with the last bit of consciousness you had and saw a faint glint of purple in the moonlight.

The next day at work seemed to pull all of your energy from you. You had fought three different criminals in the streets, you had paperwork up to your ears and you even though you slept the entire night you felt like you didn’t sleep at all.

The morning started out normal, but the day seemed to only progressively get worse. You didn’t even get a chance to breathe in between the criminal attacks. To say that you were exhausted was an understatement.

When you were finally able to go back to your apartment, you still had another report to write. You didn’t remember being a hero was so tedious.

You settled at the coffee table in your living room with your laptop, crossing your legs. About halfway through the report you could feel your vision blurring and decided to take a break. Thinking a glass of water would help, you got up and made your way to the kitchen. In a single second, the ground went from stable to twisting.

You braced yourself to hit the hard tile but instead, you felt arms wrap around you. Your body was limp and you could barely catch your breath. With the last of your strength, you looked up meeting a pair of dark purple eyes.

  When you finally woke, it was with a start. You saw that you were in your bed and confusion set in. How did you end up here?

“You’re up.” You whipped around at the sound of a voice, startled. You calmed slightly when you saw who it came from. The boy from the photo stood a few feet from your bed. He was fairly tall with wild purple hair, dark purple eyes that had heavy bags under them. There was a paleness to his skin. He held his hand at the back of his neck and he looked a little nervous. He took a step forward and you must’ve shifted back because he stopped. “Oh, uh, sorry.”

It took you a second to find your voice, “No, no it's okay.” You looked away awkwardly and picked at the blanket that lay over you. “I’m assuming you caught me.’

“Yeah.”

“Thank you.”

“Really, Y/n. You push yourself too hard sometimes.” Your eyes snapped up at him, widened. He knew your name. You felt a little silly at reacting like that. “Shit, I’m sorry. I must be scaring you.”

“No!” You started, causing him to tear his gaze from the ground. “I’m just surprised, you seem to know me so well.”

“Yeah, sorry. You’ve been here for months now, you’re the only person I’ve seen in a while.”

“Oh right, I guess you would know a little bit about me then.” A soft smile fell on your lips, “Thank you for all the little things you’ve done for me in the past. Like hanging my umbrella on my purse that one time. And stop saying sorry!”

“Oh, sorry.” A blush spread across the boy’s cheeks and he grinned slightly, “You’re welcome. I tried to no get noticed.” You moved over on your bed, sitting up all the way. He hesitantly sat on the edge of your bed when you motioned him over. The two of you were quiet for a moment. “Thank you for talking to Midoriya, I-“ He paused, “I think he was someone important to me when I was alive. When you said his name, a couple memories came over me.”

“That’s good, I guess.” You said and looked over at him. There was a sadness to him, it was ever so slight. “Do you not remember before you, um.”

“Not really. When I try to think about it, it feels like my mind is swimming. There are a few things that I can remember, like Midoriya and emotions. But other than that, there isn’t much.” The sadness grew stronger in him, you could see it on his face now. Without even thinking, you reached out to grab his hand. He tensed slightly, and you were surprised that you could actually hold his hand. When he relaxed and smiled at you.

“I don’t know if I can be of any help, but I want to try. As much as you helped me in the past few months, I want to help you.” You whispered.

“I would like that.” He said quietly and after a moment he leaned down resting his head on your shoulder. You squeezed his hand and smiled. “I’m glad I could help you even a little.”

It was quiet for a while between you two, for some reason you felt so close to this boy. This ghost. Somehow there was a connection.

“So, you know a lot about me.” You started and he shifted his head to look up at you. “Is there anything else that you know about yourself?”

He thought for a few seconds and nodded. “My name. It’s Shinso Hitoshi. You don’t have to call me ghost anymore.” You could feel your cheeks burn a bit until a yawn ripped from your throat. Shinso started to get up seeing that you were tiring again. “I know you don’t work tomorrow, but you still need your rest. Y/n”

“Shinso, wait.” You said pulling him down onto the bed again. “Stay with me.”

Shinso smiled at you and rubbed his thumb over your hand. “I can’t promise that I’ll be here when you wake up. Sometimes I can’t hold this form for long.”

“That’s okay, I just don’t want you to be alone right now.” Shinso felt his chest ache slightly, reaching over to turn the lamp off. He slid down in the bed with you and you nestled yourself into his side, his arms wrapping around you. “I hope I didn’t scare you with the things I did.”

You giggled quietly, “Now that I know that the ghost haunting my apartment is this good looking, I think I’ll be okay with being scared more.” You could feel his chest vibrate with his laugh.

“Go to sleep, Y/n.”

“Good night, Shinso.” You whispered and drifted off almost immediately. He placed a small kiss to the top of your hair.

“I’ll try to still hold you in my arms when you wake up.”

[huntsman-ash]

RWBY V8E5 LiveThoughts

And now for the last episode before the HUGE break they’re taking. Seriously, February? Damn, whats going on at RT?

It matters not. Lets see what this weeks episode has for us.

And here we see Aminety Colloseum, the place that Atlas SHOULD have weaponized the moment it rolled its way back here. Seriously look at it; floating free away from everything else...you could mount missile launchers and laser batteries and CIWS batteries on it, launch fighters from it, let dropships deploy through its base...a floating aircraft carrier of unprecidented size.

Or maybe turn it into a weapon...use its drive system to focus Dust energy into some kind of gravitational force...thats just me though.

Missed oppertunites...ah well.

You CAN see its been adjusted though, it looks less like the sports arena from its last apperance and more like a floating coms hub, with those dishes on the outside and the huge spire.

Intersetingly if you look in the upper right corner the moon is there but almost completely covered by the storm Salem summoned. Interesting.

Wait why is PEITRO out there? With like...no supports? Seems kinda dangerous to send the weak old dude out there...

...thats a bomb. A Dust bomb in pipe bomb style form but thats very much a bomb.  Yes, Penny, danger indeed.

Atmospheric orbit. Ahhh that must be the low-level orbit path that they need to ensure it doesnt loose power. The part where you coast along with almost no drag.  Like what the X-15 hit in our world, and punched through at least once.

WAIT WHAT THE HELL IS THAT. Thats some kind of loader mech. THATS A FUCKING UTILITY TITAN. WHEN DID ATLAS GET ONE OF THOSE?!

Also thats a jet engine.

And Maria’s piloting it. To quote Daimon Baird; I know wha thappens when you let an angry chick loose with a power loader.

Multiple bombs...wait. Thats the mine that RWBY fought in with the Aces, the one that almost blew the fuck up. They’re... Oh. I get it now. They’re gonna use the blast to fling Amneity into upper orbit and stabalize it. Clever. Not exactly SAFE, but clever. Just hope the mine doesnt go anywhere important. Those tunnels are going to turn into firestorms.

Cute, she thinks she can stay and help. Trust me, Penny. You’re better off running.

MARIA CASUALLY DOING THE MEXICAN GRANDMOTHER THING WITH HER MECH...THE HIP HAND. MY GOD.

Oh, and his chair has gravity restraints too. They...gonna handle the impact of the launch? I mean thats literally a fuel/air bomb under them. Dust/air...

Well Maria seems alright with it.

OH GOD DAMMIT. Its Cinder isnt it? Fucking bitch...

On the positive side if she DOES hitch a ride then they get a chance to give her the ol’ “Long fall special”.  Lets see your maiden powers save you from a fall from near orbit.

Well then, she burned right through the floor. Interesting. Maiden powers or her own, who knows...I do admit seeing her ride the ship in like that is kinda cool.

The eagerness in Cinders remaining eye interest me. Also, even when using maiden powers, her dead eye emits nothing. So that whole parts just gone. 

Secondary note, I think they’re standing on the...Shade emblem? Shade is the swords I think. Vale is the axes, Atlas is the staff, Havens the lamp. Doubt it means anything.

Ahhh, okay I was gonna say, that launch was...kinda lackluster. But the blast is being used as a BOOST on top of the four existing external thrusters. Like the yellow emergency turbines on the outside of the Pillar of Autumn in the end cutscene of Halo Reach

Dust explodes in its own individual colors. The blast under them looks like a Pride festival.

Also Penny just going WHAP like that amuses me, whereas Cinder just crouches. Guess she knew what was coming.

I dont see how the blast is helping through...maybe its the pressure wave and we cant see it right.

Now THAT is a command and control table!

Based on the image I can see, the map is showing “Atlas Mantle” in the middle in green, Aminety in red to the north, and the whale as its own red marker just off to the west a bit of Atlas/Mantle. So now we know where everything is stationed.

The scales all kindsa weird tho

Ah THERES the G-force. Emeralds literally stuck to the floor.

And because Cinders an unoriginal bitch, fire swords. Im not impressed ot say the least.  On a side note that DOES mean that radiobandit was right about her powers, so theres that. I’d wager this is a combination of her semblance and the maiden abilities.

For those who follow me, Cinder’s blades here are similar in look to what Ash Vulcan can summon, minus the fire. His are more of a cooled obsidian look.  They are, however, as sharp as these are, but much less sturdy. Ex; the one that pins itself to the wall by Penny’s head would have shattered on impact, which Ash uses as a secondary ability. Because no one likes a hundred glass shards in their eyes...

OH HELL YES. Maria with the mech. Now, Cinder...TASTE METAL FIST.

RT...I salute you. Angry mother figure piloting a giant robot screaming “get away from her you bitch”. ALMOST had it. Almost.

What smacked into her though. Neo?

Yes, Neo piloting their escape craft. Interseting.

Emerald looks completely useless and confused and Neo is suddenly very much in a realization shes inside a tin can and MARIA IS OPERATING A GIANT TIN CAN OPENER

Emeralds semblance works on Maria. Interseting, so it must bypass eyes. Effect the brain specifically. Note to self for Chrys on that...

WHY did Neo take Ruby’s form when shes fighting Maria? On that Maria seems very happy to brawl on the ground now. Old habits die hard, I guess.

Additional math note; “broadcasting range” is, by this numerical, 543.523 of...whatever Remnant uses as units. On Earth, the edge of outerspace is almost exactly 100 km, or 62 miles, straight up. So going by that measurement... (Doing the math here hang on)...1 km is equal to 5.43 of Remnants distance units. Lets just say 5.5. Assuming Remnants edge is the same (but everything we’ve seen so far hints that it is, or at least very close)

Alternatively, since we heard klicks used in V4, but miles used in After The Fall, we can assume this is one of those, meaning that either broadcast altitude on Remnant is ABSURDLY HIGH, because 500km is literally 5 times the edge of space on earth, and 540 miles is ALMOST 9 TIMES AS HIGH. Either way Im pretty sure this is the first measurement of Remnants units we’ve seen.

Alternatively alternatively, judging by the arrows we see, these might be required velocity to maintain orbit, which MAY make a bit more sense but it doesnt really fit. Low orbital velocity on earth for example is 17,000 KPH. Even with the math above, theres still a TITANIC difference.

And now we see the numvers going down again because CINDER BURNED A HOLE IN THROUGH ONE OF THE STABALIZERS. Bitch.

Again on th e weaponizing the colleseum; look at all this empty space. They didnt even remove it from when it was a consorse for the festival. You could put SO MANY weapon emplacements...the landing pads are still there!

Oh so now Cinders a Dawnblade from RWBY is she.

And exploding arrows too. Alright then, sure, why not.

Not sure what the point of this little bit was, aside from Penny trying to draw Cinder off and Cinder going back because...evil? Bait for Penny? Who knows. 

Oh yeah, Marias having a GOOD time. Also, Neos face when she gets kicked in it; “NO, NOT THE SANDEL!”

Also the disrespect from Maria. Yes. Suck it, Neo.

Also theres some timeskippage, as there is NOT a 2 minute gap between when we see the clock the first time and when we see it now. I dont think, anyway. Im sure theres math to be done but it serves the purpose its suppose to, for tension.

Uhhhh...Cinder, please. Your Salem’s most bottom of bitches right now. She favors Hazel and Tyrian over you.

Did Cinder really just try for a does not compute moment. Or is she just out of ideas.

Cinder stealing the maiden powers reminds me of the Grip of the Devourer perk from the Necromatic Grips in Destiny 2. Mainly the green energy flowing. I know thats Pennys aura stuff but it does remind me.

Ahhh they got a plan with Emerald then. Interesting. Also Neo taking advantage of a distraction sounds like her. 

And Penny ONESHOTS Neo. Lets be real here, without aura? She’d be LIQUID. Or maybe ash. Not sure how Penny’s funnels (THEYRE STILL FUCKING FUNNELS DAMMIT) works.

Annnnddd you forgot shes a robot and sees aura didn’t you.  Again, without aura, she’d be dead. Actually, she might legit be dead considering that scream. That sounds like the noise someone makes as their organs are fried by high intensity radiation. Not too mention the MASSIVE BURN MARK on the back wall there.

Either way; GET FUCKED BITCH.

Very dramatic, Emerald, but really, come on. Penny has lasers. You would get maybe one more shot (from a weapon that has, at best from my viewpoint) a caliber equal to MAYBE a 9mm pistol. That stuff doesnt have the penetration power required.

If Penny wasn’t nice and more interested in saving Peitro...you’d be dead. Ripped asunder and Cinder made even worse. 

A pity, really, Penny has a heart. But...hey. Real girl.

I feed upon Emeralds tears though. Mmm. Simpy.

What the HELL is hitting them. Grimm?

Oh boy here we go, more of this. Like...bruh. Just set down for a bit. Always gotta be dramatic dont ya

Aww. Touching. But pointless in the grand scheme of things.

Interesting note but she puts her gloved hand on his cheek, not the one with the glove burned off. For what thats worth again.

Holy shit, that map wasnt lying. That whale’s almost as big as Atlas is from this angle. Mind you, might just be a trick of the location but it would make sense if they were afraid of a Grimm THAT GOD DAMN BIG. I was just seeing it as like, about the size of a normal sperm whale, maybe as big as the Leviathan from the series of the same name, but even that was barely 150 feet long. This things HUGE.

Nope. Pretty sure its about the same size as Atlas is long.

Also the Moon seems smaller from this angle oddly enough.

Wait is she gonna superman this fucking thing?

Okay yes, the numbers were based on distance not velocity, as Penny is pushing the stadium UP, rather than accelerating it in proper stance.

The noises she makes...huh. Glad my sister didnt walk in on those. Sounds...not like someone straining.

Hey look, its clumsy shitface McGee. HES NOT DEAD!

Note about the message; whos the chick with the eye patch next to the faunus in the back left of Ruby.

Im going to assume the first place we see the message played is the Mistral Black Market. Seems fitting for how it is, and the design matches Havens ascetic. 

OH MY GOD THE LITTLE EARED FAUNUS GIRL IN THE HOLE. OH NO. SHES TOO CUTE.

Also in that same shot we see the old Karen from two episodes ago, a mouse girl, Fiona’s mole uncle, and someone new I think. Plus the huge eared girls mom who has a fox tail. And also one of the thirsty moms and her kid maybe?

Hey, Sun and Neptune! Out in the middle of nowhere in Vacuo. So this is the first time we’ve seen it in the show. 

And Ilia’s still alive too!

Hey and Goodwytch too. No voice, of course...she got fired ages ago.

Also hey, so this is where Ironwoods been. I love how Hare turns it off before Ruby finishes. 

I will note that technically Ruby’s not wrong. Ironwood cant be trusted. But then, he couldnt before because (gestures to Atlas’s pathetic, scraggy SOFT “military” instead of THE CHAD FORCES OF...uh...) (Rapid sounds of shuffling papers and files labeled “UNSC” “Coalition of Ordered Governments” “SRPA” “GAR” and “Yukon Confederacy” fly off the table)

Several others. Yes. Lets go with that. (Accidentally bumps paper labeled “Vanguard” off the desk)

Watts is back out I see too. 

Wait wait wait. Penny’s blades operate via chips...part of her, sure. So WHY does she need wires on them? AGAIN. WHY ARE THEY WIRE FUNNELS AND NOT SEPERATE ONES.

Interestingly the inside of the one Watts has resembles a Scroll...did Peitro commender that technology?

No focusing system for the laser. No chamber for acceleration or direction. Odd.

Salem looks oddly glad for this. Probably cause she thinks this is going to spread more fear. 

And Ruby gets to the heart of the deal. You dont beat something that cant be killed. You capture it. Hurt it. BREAK IT. A sentient being can only take so much punishment before it shatters into madness and controllable fragments. You just. Need. To. Hit. It. HARD. ENOUGH. 

Additionally Ruby’s got a point there too. Salem played the shadows until this moment when everything was going her way. So...whats she afraid of.

Annnnddd thats all it takes to hijack Penny? Seriously.

Fuckin god damn useless Atlas bullshit fucking...(LONG SUFFERING SIGH OF A TECH NERD)

Hey theres Taiyang. Where’s Raven?

Wait hold on a second. She catches fire literally two seconds after she falls? You gotta fall a bit more than that for shit to start happening. WHAT THE FUCK IS REMNANTS ATMOSPHERE?! Or is it just dramatic...

Also as a small note the way the coms between her and Peitro cut off like that is accurate to reentry; during the hottest part of a splashdown, a space craft creates such a huge trail of energy behind it, rattling and burning its way down, it creates a blackout with its own passage. So based on the massive Apollo style reentry fire cone shes already putting out shes most likely going to be out of coms until she slows down orrrrrr craters into Remnants surface with the force of a meteor. 

And no. I dont think shes dead. The fact that, DESPITE being surrounded by the kind of fireball that worked its way into the fueltank of the space shuttle Discovery and blew it and its crew to bits on reentry, she was still intact...shes probably going to be fine.

Hacked, certainly, but fine. It takes more than that to finish her. Besides now that shes hacked, she has to fight Ruby. We all want that right?

Ahh good to see Winter in full armor now. Or...close to it. Im sure some of its a support rig for her injuries but I like to think this is the start of Atlas’s Specialist Weaponization Program.

Ironwood makes a good call here. Same thought process as mine.

Salutes in this world are the same as ours. Interesting. Must change that for the HKs

Annnndd of course Watts steals the busted Scroll because IRONWOOD IS A FUCKING DUMBASS

...um.

Im...not even going to COMMENT on what the FUCK this thing is that Jaunes detachment found. 

Also why is there A TREE in the tundra?

Oh, caustic. Interesting.

Mmmm. (Pause. Fingers to lips)

Thats your plan, Salem? To literally leak liquid Grimm into Mantle.

More silence.

Ladies and gentlemen...Salem is, officially, THE WORST VILLAN. OF ALL TIME.

The level of incompetence and stupidity I have seen here today completely obliterates the LAST person to hold that title, President Snow from the Hunger Games.

The amount of unnececary back door work and seecret plotting here astounds me. Shes doing this because she can, Im SURE of it. Theres no other reason.

Unless...she kows in a straight out fight, she’d have Ironwoods metal arm up to her colon in seconds. Which I wouldnt be surprised about.

Either way uh...thats it. Thats the end of the episode. 

Nice fight, at least.

See you all in Febuary!

EDIT: NOT FEBUARY, the break is a few more episodes after this

[brooklynislandgirl]

SENSORY DETAILS Tagged by: No One, I do what I want. Tagging: Be Fae, Steal Memes

Scent: Beth doesn’t do cologne or perfume the way most women do. One reason is because of her work. A good almost 40% of emergency room visits are due to or co-morbid with respiratory distress. There are also allergies and sensitivities to keep in mind. Instead, she makes her own essential oil blends and uses them very sparingly. 

She also uses all natural, organic, cruelty free, no animal testing, sustainable beauty products, and often as she can ones that use ingredients from Hawai’i, as a way to support local farmers, and extended kin.

Which tends to mean that she smells like a combination of pineapple, coconut, star fruit, blue ginger, and macadamia or kukui nut, as those scents are prevalent in shampoo, conditioner, and body wash. Her personal favourite essential oils is a mellow but long lasting blood orange and sandalwood combination, or plumeria. She uses Tom’s Natural toothpaste with cinnamon, and her breath is often softly sweet and spicy because of it. She is very careful to brush morning and night, between meals. She uses Schmidt’s Water + Wood deodorant.

She has been told on numerous occasions that she smells like a tropical smoothie, or cookies.

She doesn’t use scented laundry soap or fabric softener, but she keeps her unmentionables in drawers with sachets of sandalwood and plumeria and cinnamon.

After a long day at work her scrubs take on the stale recycled air from work, she often also smells like neoprene {which she uses because she’s allergic to latex}, and often times of blood and betadine. Which is why she usually grabs a shower after getting in, because she doesn’t particularly enjoy the way she smells.

On her days off, you can often find the smell of sea-salt and sunscreen on her skin and in her hair. Those particularly sensitive and knowledgeable can detect traces of Sex Wax on her hands and feet because of her surfboard.

Her two favourite lotions are both from Bath and Bodyworks, the Plumeria and the Green Tea varieties.

Lastly, she often has trace amounts of coffee scent to her which is basically her survival mechanism due to working long hours and being a chronic insomniac.

~*~

Sounds: At first glance most people expect for Beth to sound like a little girl straight out of some weird anime. Like Bernadette Wolowitz. Those people would be very wrong.

Beth is incredibly soft spoken, rarely raising her voice above a whisper. Partially because she was raised with the opinion that children {and in her case, particularly, daughters} should be rarely seen and never heard. Partially because she has been fairly shy most of her life, retiring from conversation that often makes little or no sense to her.  She grew up in a multicultural city, on a military base where people of very different tones and accents came and went in her life. From her first word {Panda, which was how she pronounced Andy} to adulthood, she spoke Hawai’ian, Pidgin and English, though the first two languages were reserved for times when the Admiral was not at home as he did not approve of them and still doesn’t.

Despite her learning disability, she had a knack for languages and speaks or partially speaks over a dozen of them.

As an adult, her voice is still soft, but it’s smokey, deeper than what is expected, a quality she shares with her brothers and the Admiral. When she’s tired or stresses a phrase here and there, she tends to have a thickness to it, what is known as vocal fry. This is a quality she retains when she sings. She isn’t as talented at that as her brother is, but what she lacks in skill, Beth more than makes up for in enthusiasm, and often that’s when she expresses herself loudest and emotive.

Beth tends to naturally speak pidgin, a sort of Hawai’ian creole, because it’s easier for her to differentiate words, doesn’t have to worry about tenses in speech, and it comes very naturally to her. When she wants to make herself unmistakably understood she switches to what she calls “haole” which is full English, though doing so causes her speech to come slower as she has to put thought into each word, each syllable. She sometimes forgets the English word for things and uses the Hawai’ian instead. When she does speak she has the bad habit of covering her pauses with filler sounds such as “ah”, “uhm” and the like.

When Beth is excited she might increase noticeably in volume, in pace and rhythm of speech, though still that isn’t by any means loud by other people’s standards. She has perfected the art of talking from behind carefully clenched teeth, almost at a sub-vocal level, a trait handed down from the first angry wife-mother. In sensual situations she’s less likely to form words than she is to vocalise gentle noises; soft and sweet though short moans, breathy exhalations, whimpers, whines, and needy or appreciative growls. 

Her laughter is a warm and husky sound though she often hides it behind her hand or bites down on it in a literal fashion for fear of ‘being too loud’. She doesn’t laugh as often as she used to but she does sometimes have a hard time suppressing her giggles. It’s far easier for her to smile, a thing she does sometimes when she is uncertain in conversations with others. ~*~

Taste: As previously stated, Beth often tastes like sweetened cinnamon, as she is very conscientious about her teeth and breath because she does so closely work in other people’s personal spaces.

A random stolen kiss on her mouth might yield coffee/cream, wine, or whatever she might be eating at the time, though she will try to turn away and keep her lips closed if that’s the case. A random stolen kiss or nibble of any other body part will also yield random results. Her hands often taste of soap or hand sanitiser and lotion because as a working nurse-practitioner Beth washes her hands between 120-200 times a day. This is not an exaggeration. Her shoulder or brow might taste like sunscreen or skin moisturiser. Her waist might taste like skin... a blend of salt, essential oils, hints of soap. It isn’t a flavour or texture per se, but it does carry a natural kind of sharpness to the tongue and thus taste-buds according to her personal Ph factor which varies throughout the month.

More intimately, due to her diet, personal hygiene, and body chemistry she doesn’t have a very strong taste or scent. What she does have tends to lean toward a sweetness and clean sharpness, due to a diet rich in fruits and vegetables. 

Beth has an extraordinary connection to the cosmic ideal of Life. The downside of it is that this gift makes her blood particularly potent, twice over a normal mortal, and it regenerates quickly. There is very literally magick within it. And as such, vampires have names for people like her: “Cornucopia”, “Big Gulp”, or simply... “Mine.”

~*~

Feel: Due to genetic blessing, one of Beth’s blessings is her skin. Her skin is an ideal blend of smooth, soft and supple. She has a few very pale freckles that linger at the corner of her mouth and across her chin. A few more scatter across the bridge of her nose but they are faint, almost invisible the rare times she wears foundation. She has the start of tiny laugh lines visible when she talks or is otherwise emotionally animated.

The real secret of Beth’s softness is that pesky Spark of Life blessing for a second time. That vitality flows through her with preternatural strength. So much so that most of her injuries heal at an ridiculous pace, and never really leave scars behind. She heals what in three days what would take someone else weeks, cuts heal in a day even if they are deep. Bruises disappear within an hour, leaving no trace. Some of her kind view this as the mark of a born healer, others consider it a recessive albeit desirable mutation. She has the ability to share this gift with others through the power of touch. Anyone she assists in this way recovers at her accelerated rate. The only parts of her that are not youthfully soft are the two tattoos she has, which have given her a texture in those places, and the three dermal piercings she keeps on the ridge of her hip. And, of course, her leg. The shark bite occurred before her Awakening, and has left a permanent mark. The demarcation of the teeth have left thick jagged scar lines along her leg, and within it the muscle that got torn away never healed properly, is permanently emaciated, and shortened the tendons and ligaments, which has given her the slightest of limps, most especially noticeable when she’s tired or overly stressed. She particularly dislikes the way it looks but more so the way it feels, an unnatural reminder that she has at least once cheated death.  Beth will go out of her way to keep it out of sight through wearing of floor length skirts, covering it with throw blankets, sheets, and such, or with knee high boots. Touching it, letting your gaze linger on it, and the like is the quickest way to upset her. To make her physically recoil. If she can’t hide it through practical means, such as swimming or surfing, she will apply illusion magick to keep from being stared at, but it can only be hidden visually, touch would reveal it’s existence.

She has a small callous on the first joint of her left and right middle fingers from how she holds a pen.

~*~

Sight: Beth has a left eye astigmatism in that the eye itself is not round but rather egg-shaped. This causes her to need glasses for reading and small/fine detail work. She has hetero-chromia meaning her eyes have two distinct colours, they are mostly green with whorls of a light amber colour surrounding the pupils. Therefore depending on lighting and emotional pupil reaction they can appear very bright green to light brown, with shades in-between. It is a recessive trait, on one hand, but definitely one that is strong in the family as both the Admiral and her Aunt Aishlinn exhibit this trait, as does her brother Andrew. Her brother William inherited blue eyes from his mother and does not possess the hetero-chromia.

If you take this to mean her appearance, there literally isn’t much to her. Beth barely stands a full five feet, most of that being her impeccable posture. There was no slouching or slumping in the Riley household, and as an adult, she compensates for her leg by trying to offset even the mere suggestion of a lean. She also has never weighed over a hundred pounds in her entire life. Combined with a very delicate-looking bone structure and lithe musculature, it’s easy to mistake her at first glance as someone far younger than she actually is.  A second or more look begins to give her certain features. For as short as she is, she has very long limbs. Her hands are elegant in their movements, precise, honed from years of hula dancing movements. She tends to talk with them more out of habit than with a purpose, telling stories and subconsciously communicating where words fail. There is a pervasive curve to her shape that all resides in her backside and her legs, also owing to her petite but athletic frame. She is a swimmer. A surfer. A dancer. A jogger. She practices yoga. Therefore her bottom half carries most of her muscle, her centre of gravity, and a generous portion of her femininity though she would punch someone dead in the throat for saying something so sexist and genderist.

~*~

Other abilities: Beth is a master of Life. As such, she ages how she likes. Which means she can be any race or gender she likes. Which means she can be any living thing she wants to be, whether human, animal or plant. Even if only for a little while. She could make herself taller. She could give herself a more traditionally ‘pretty’ figure. She could do a hundred different things with barely a thought. She doesn’t. She isn’t so vain, so desperately hungry for the wrong kind of attention, that she feels it necessary to alter herself in such a way as to really be anyone or anything else other than what she is. She is proud to be a Polynesian young woman, even if she is only hapa.

She relieves stress by running as a deer or swimming as a shark {she IS Rokea (wereshark) kinfolk, after all, and understands Sea better than humanity}. Conversely, if a partner would ask ~for the sake of trying something new~ that she alter herself she would consider it. Whether that meant becoming male, or changing certain aspects of herself. But never permanently. Or if she needed to infiltrate a different organisation, or carry out a plan to it’s fruition. Aside from her shark bite, the only two things she cannot change about herself is the fact that she’s incapable of having children naturally, and she cannot change her teeth or her eyes. {The latter is a primal marking flaw, the former is permanent paradox flaw}.

[gayllamafromspace]

Embrace Your Chaos

(Tissaia De Vries/Reader)

Chapter 8: Lessons In The Library

The newfound friendship with Rita had been an unexpected, but not unwelcome, development. Oftentimes we'd find ourselves lazing about in each other's rooms, wandering the halls, or goofing around in class. Rita, as I've learned, has no restraint and the impulsiveness of a puppy. I'm more than willing to tag a long on her whims, within reason. Our first night together was eventful, and the rest of the days we spend together aren't any less so. Our friendship is no secret from the other girls, and at this point the rectoress is well aware of it too. Our pranks aren't subtle, as Tissaia and her clique know on an intimate level.

These pranks consist of terrorizing the other 6 girls while Margarita and I laugh our asses off. Roan, who was our first victim, had ended up with the frog in the bodice of one of her dresses. Her scream made it all the way down the hall and to Rita's room that morning. Sonata got her hair chopped off, why? Because she was especially mean to Veblen one day, and I simply wasn't having it. Rita had agreed with that sentiment. The main person we torture though is Tissaia, she is painfully easy to piss off and annoy. Rita, who is somehow still kind of accepted by the girls, does most of the dirty work.

She will subtly wrinkle up Tissaia's sleeves and initiate pointless physical contact, which Tissaia hates with a passion. Eveytime Rita lets her have some air, Tissaia fixes the imperfections on her dress and tries to create distance between herself and Rita. That is entirely pointless, because Rita is always right back at it again. Tissaia's eye would twitch every now and then, clearly in her effort not to explode. Eventually she realized what Rita was doing, so now Rita can't sit by her anymore.

Our new scheme is to disrupt her perfectly organized desk. Being Tissaia, she has an obsession with keeping herself and her space tidy and organized, which is why this is perfect. It's not malevolent… Well, maybe not to me and Rita, but it's enough to tick her off. So that brings us to where we are, sitting through a lecture from Rectoress Phobe Del-Lana, and moving Tissaia's quill slightly to the left every time she straightens it on her desk. It takes about 4 times before Tissaia realizes that it is, in fact, not her OCD making her think it's not straight. It's when she looks back at Rita in an accusatory fashion that things get mildly more interesting.

"Miss De Vries, it's not often that you choose not to pay attention. Why now?" The Rectoress says, eyebrows raised. Tissaia is quick to turn back to the front of the class, a slight blush on her cheeks. 'Ooh she's embarrassed~' I think to myself, smiling slightly. This is a mistake, because Rectoress Del-Lana is quick to turn her attention to me.

"And you Miss (Y/N). This behavior is to be expected from someone like you, but is it truly necessary to sully Tissaia's reputation along with your own?" I can hear some of the girls snickering behind us. Of course they'll laugh at me and not miss perfect. I glance over at Tissaia, to find her glaring at me. I should be used to this, she's not shy about her disdain for me, but she ordinarily shows it by ignoring my existence. It's painful really. To think that after everything that had happened months prior, she still hates me. We learned a lot then, and I thought we could've been friends after she healed. I was hoping so at least. It was foolish to think that. I'm the reason she was injured, I'm the reason she's had to work so hard to gain the Rectoresses favor, and I'm about to ruin it for her again.

"My apologies Rectoress, I was bothering her for my own entertainment, she's not at fault." I say, my head bowed. If I'm going to salvage any friendship we could have had, this is the best way I can do it. The Rectoress, who I'm sure already knew this, nods and returns to the large water basin on her desk. We had been learning about water bending before I caused this pointless distraction.

"Well, since you're so adept in chaos that you'd waste your energy pestering a fellow student, I believe you should be the one to give us a demonstration of water bending." This was not a request, nothing the Rectoress ever says is. So I get up from my desk and go over to the bowl. The bowl is made of a dark brown mahogany, and it's filled halfway with water. From where I'm standing I can see the slightest gleam of amusement on Tissaia's face. Rita, who had been silently watching the whole interaction, gives me a thumbs up and a small smile.

Looking down at the water and taking a deep breath in, I focus on the clear liquid sitting still in the basin. I let it out softly through my mouth and clear my mind. Focusing my intent on the water, I envision small ripples and waves on its surface. I say the elder word - softly and with reverence, letting myself relax and allowing chaos to flow through me. I can feel a rush of smooth energy within me, making my skin tingle pleasantly. The water moves, a lulling pattern of soft ripples spreading and colliding with the walls of the water basin. With the energy I feel in myself, I direct my chaos to the water, letting myself feel as one with it.

With conviction I enunciate the word again, projecting it so that everyone in the room can hear it. Willing the water in the bowl to form a ball, I manipulate the chaos surrounding it and lift the liquid from the bowl. A few droplets fall from the sphere, but I pay them no mind. I glance out to the rest of the girls, and find that they are all in shock. I can't blame them, I'm normally the one who slacks off a good bit of the time, but it's almost insulting that they think I don't do the work at all. I procrastinate, sure, but I still do as I'm told… most of the time.

Rita dearest is wearing a wide grin. Roan, who sits behind her, looks dumbfounded (which is nothing new), but her yellowish face seems to have paled into a light sandy color. Her black eyes are wide with shock. Annita, ever the excessive horror, has her jaw dropped practically to her knees and her brows furrowed a fair bit too much to be natural. She seems almost appalled by my magical capability. Lida, Sanota, and Veblen actually look impressed. Rectoress Del-Lana regards me with minimal interest - which isn't so surprising.

Tissaia though, her face is schooled into a perfectly impassive expression. She betrays nothing but vague acknowledgment… but her eyes, I can see a thousand thoughts swirling behind them. I've tried not to look her in the eyes, I didn't want to be weird, but now I realize that they show everything that her face does not. A glint of wonder hides behind them, but I catch it right before she turns her attention to the rectoress.

"Well, it appears you do have talent after all. Go and take a seat (Y/N)." The rectoress says. I bow my head in her direction and quickly return to my seat. The rest of the day proceeds as it normally would. After our trial with Del-Lana, we are dismissed to our rooms. None of us ever stay in our rooms of course, we are granted relative free-reign of the school. Most days me and Rita will sneak off to the kitchens and snag some snacks, courtesy of lady Gwendolyn. Today though, Rita has decided to do some spy work for the two of us. Aka, she's going to hang out with the rest of the girls and fill me in on any preposterous rumors so that we can laugh at how ridiculous they are.

So for today I will be spending my evening in the library. I'm not entirely sure if any of the other novices know where it is, seeing as how I was led to it by a friend in the staff. The library itself is wondrous. The shelves reach high and are made of dark oak, and there are a few windows that let the sun shine into the room for most of the day.

Currently, I am reading a book on herbology. This one particularly goes over where you can find the herbs and the best conditions to keep them in once harvested. Mandrake root, for example, is meant to be kept in a sealed container so that the small particles released from it when exposed to oxygen don't float in the air. If inhaled, it can cause you to hallucinate and pass out, you could die from it as well. Sadly, the most interesting herbs were the rarest, but that much is to be expected. Nothing interesting is ever too easy to find.

My peaceful reading is interrupted by someone sitting on the small sofa across from me. When I look up, I realize exactly who has intruded in on my "secret" place. Tissaia, ever prim and proper, is seated on the edge of the cushion and looking right at me. I look right back at her for a second before closing my book and placing it carefully beside me. That is when Tissaia starts talking.

"First of all, I do not appreciate you distracting me while in session with Rectoress Del-Lana." She says curtly.

"But I can't exactly blame you, Rita is a horrible influence. It really is a shame that someone of your clear magical talent would resolve to do something so childish." This earns Tissaia an irritated look.

"If you came here to fuss at me for bugging you, there's no need. I learned my lesson." I say, tapping the cushion impatiently. Personally, I'd rather not have to deal with Tissaia's scrutiny right now. She doesn't leave though, and continues to talk.

"That's not all I came for (Y/N). Clearly you have been spending a lot of time practicing your magic. I'd say that as of now, the amount of control that you have may rival my own…" Tissaia says. I tilt my head slightly and give her a puzzled expression.

"What exactly have you been doing that helps you to maintain so much balance and control? It can't be anything the Rectoress is teaching us." Tissaia continues. I give her a smile and slide down to the rug between us. It has simple patterns, it's woven with threads of multiple shades of red and yellow. I gesture for her to mimic my position. She hesitates of course, clearly not wanting to dirty her skirts by sitting on the floor. But eventually Tissaia does lower herself to the floor.

"Meditation and grounding." I say softly,

"They aren't exactly the same, but they are similar." A crease forms between Tissaia's brows as I say this. I can't help but smile, it's kind of cute when she does that. She urges me to go on regardless.

"When you're grounding yourself, you are focusing on your connection to the world around you. It's helpful before and after spell work. It's really just you taking a moment to focus on the sensations around you, and letting yourself rest and your mind feel at ease. Be sure to breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth" I explain. I place my hand on the rug.

"Think of the rough texture of the carpet. The smell of paper and candles. The sounds of pages turning and quills on paper." I say. Tissaia closes her eyes and appears to be listening to the small sounds in the library. There's barely anyone here when I am, but the librarian is always here, always flipping through books and taking notes on certain things.

"What about meditation?" Tissaia asks, her eyes now open and looking at me as if I'm the most interesting person in the room. That look makes my heart feel heavy but also light at the same time. I push the feeling away and continue on with my little lesson.

"Meditation is when you focus on yourself and try to block out the outside world. Most people clear their heads and try to think of nothing, but I like to imagine that I'm somewhere else. Somewhere peaceful. I believe it's called a mindscape, but don't quote me on that." I say, a small laugh escaping me. Tissaia's lips turn upwards slightly and she shakes her head a little.

"I assume that we're supposed to breath the same right? In through the nose out through the mouth?" She asks. I nod and demonstrate, taking a deep breath in and holding it for 3 seconds before letting it out slowly. She copies me and I give her an approving smile.

We sit in silence, the only sounds around us are the in and outs of our synchronized breathing. It's pleasant to have her here with me, clearly interested in what I have to share with her and in sharing my company. At some point I find myself drifting off to the time she and I had spent together only a month or so ago. It feels like so long since then, since her cold demeanor had changed to be a little kinder. Sadly, she was never truly being kind for the sake of it, Gwendolyn had informed me that Tissaia was using her kindness to manipulate me. Tissaia wanted out, I can understand that, but it's still kind of painful to think about. Maybe now, with some time and communication, we could learn to call each other friends.

Our meetings in the library became a daily thing. We spent an hour everyday together meditating and grounding ourselves after lessons. She had mentioned that she felt a lot more energized after our sessions. She asked questions and on the 4th day she brought a journal with her. Now whenever I say something of interest, she writes it down. On the 5th day, she asked me what my mindscape looked like. I told her of course, and I asked her what hers looked like. She didn't want to tell me though, so I left it alone.

But one day she just stopped coming. She had said she would be here, but she's running very late. She's never late. I give her 10 more minutes and then leave, walking down the hall to my rooms. She was probably busy, maybe she had homework? It doesn't matter, just because she missed one day doesn't mean she won't come around again. And on my way down the stone corridor I held on to that thought. Then I see Rita come around the corner and walk right to me. She seems almost frantic, but also shocked, and angry. I stop in my tracks and give her a concerned look.

"What's wrong Rita? Did something happen?" I ask her worriedly. She grabs me gently by the arms and looks me in the eyes. There's fear in her eyes.

"Is it true (Y/N)?" She asks me.

"What do you mean? That's not much to go on Rita." I answer, now increasingly worried.

"You don't know… oh geez," Rita bites at her lip before continuing.

"Tissaia just told everyone that you're a homosexual." Rita says quietly. She frantically adds that she doesn't mind and that she herself has been questioning. But I don't have the will to care. I can't care about that, not right now.

"Tissaia outed me?" I say, practically seething with rage. I feel betrayed to say the least. 5 days I spent helping her and supposedly bonding with her, and this is what I get? I'm not just angry, no, I am livid. Rita has held the sense to give me some space.

That night during dinner, Rita and I snuck into Tissaia's room and trashed it. We flipped her bed, broke her inkwells, and snapped her quills. Rita took a few of Tissaia's dresses and the sheets from her bed and dumped ink all over it. I took her meditation journal and pocketed it, no use in her having my help if she's going to treat me like shit. Though it hurt me a lot to do it, I tore all of her books from the shelf and threw them around the room. Eventually Rita said it was time to go and we booked it to our rooms. We did not celebrate that night. No, I spent the night crying and angrily telling Rita everything. From the beginning of mine and Tissaia's relationship, to now. And Rita, being the best friend that she is, held me and listened to everything.

[shannonwrote]

Summary: Set five years in the future; Sam, Robin and Olivia’s lives are a lot different than they had planned or expected. Follow their stories from their past and their present.

“The Oneiroi Triplets. The Oneiroi were the immortals who traveled through dreams appearing as certain types of images.”

Morpheus (god of dreams) — Robin Icelus (god of nightmares) — Sam Phantasos (god of fantastical dreams) — Olivia

Characters: Robin Flores, Olivia Schuyler (TNA/MC), & Drew (Ms. Match)

Fandom(s): The Nanny Affair, Blood Bound, Ms. Match

Notes: Thanks, as always, to the amazing and magnificent @txemrn​ (even though she’s probably disappointed at the lack of *smut*). Without her, I never would’ve finished this chapter.

Tagging: (if you no longer wish to be tagged, let me know!) @txemrn @lovelyladyk88 @secretaryunpaid @thefrenchiemama​ @pixie88

PS: Some of you may have read this already. Sorry! I’m in the process of moving my words from the old to the new.

Companion Pictagrams:

Olivia. Robin. Sam. Emily. Cassian. Jenny. Casey. Bryce.

Catch up: Icelus.

Chapter 2: Morpheus

THEN

Robin paced the length of his living room, nervously biting at his cuticles. His thoughts, a hurricane of hope and fear, thundering in his mind. “I can’t do this.”

“Then don’t.” Olivia said from her spot in his oversized chair, not bothering to look up from the book she was reading.

He paused in his pacing, and turned to face her. “What?”

Olivia looked up from her book, her toffee eyes meeting his steel blue ones. “If you don’t think you can do it, don’t.”

His mouth dropped open, as he pointed an accusatory finger at her. “But you said -“

“I know what I said.” She rolled her eyes. “But if you’re too chicken..” She shrugged.

“Don’t!” Robin stated with a shake of his head.

“Don’t, what?” She asked feigning innocence.

“You know exactly what you’re doing, Olivia.” He shook his head again. “And it’s not going to work.”

Olivia set her book down on the table in front her. Resting her chin on her clasped hands, she stared intently at Robin. “What do you want?”

“It’s not that simple.” He huffed out.

“No,” she agreed. “But it can be. You told me once that Dalton Enterprises was your legacy — yours and Sam’s — but you also told me it never really felt like it belonged to you.”

“It didn’t.” He replied, beginning to pace again. “It doesn’t.”

“Why?”

Robin ran his hands through his hair, causing the ends to stick up every which way. “I’m not a Dalton. Not really. Yes, the Dalton’s took me in, and raised and loved me, in their own way, but the Dalton name never really belonged to me. That’s why I went to Tulane instead of Rutgers, and interned at Ahmanet Financial instead of Dalton Enterprises.”

Olivia nodded in acknowledgement. “Then how’d you end up working for your dad?”

Biting the inside of his cheek, he walked to the floor-to-ceiling windows and gazed out at the sparkling city below. “When I finished my internship at Ahmanet, Kamilah asked me what my plans were, and I was honest, I told her I didn’t know. I knew what I wanted, and I knew what was expected of me. In the end, it came down to what felt like family obligations.” He gestured at his blurred reflection in the window. “And here we are.”

Olivia stood up from her chair and approached Robin, sliding into the space between him and the windows. Folding her arms across her chest, her whiskey gaze rose to meet the stormy sea of his.

Robin’s mouth went dry, as the scent of lavender and cedarwood clouded his senses.

“Robin. What do you want?” She repeated her earlier question.

“Olivia.” He rasped, shaking his head, trying desperately to rid his mind of the woman in front of him.

Sliding her arms from her chest, she placed the palm of her hand against the stubble of his cheek. “Stop choosing for everyone else and choose for yourself.”

His eyes closed at her touch, the simple gesture causing his heart to beat erratically in his chest. Releasing a breath, his eyes met hers. “I hate you.” He commented, fracturing the moment.

Olivia grinned, her hand falling to her side. “No. You don’t.” She winked. “Now begone!” Pressing her hands against his chest, she shoved him toward the door. “And don’t come back here until you’re no longer employed at Dalton Enterprises.”

“Technically,” he said raising an eyebrow, “I don’t work at Dalton Enterprises. I work at Dalton-Russo Enterprises.”

Olivia rolled her eyes, “enough stalling.”

Robin caught her hand in his, a soft smile on this face. “Thanks, Olivia.”

She returned his smile with one of her own. “You’re welcome.”

— - — - —

“Trouble with the missus?”

The bartenders scratchy voice rolled over Robin, pulling his thoughts from the depths of his whiskey. “Hmm?”

“That’s the 5th whiskey you’ve tried to find answers in, and your phone’s been vibrating across my counter for the last 15 minutes.” He nodded at the empty seat beside Robin. “Add in the fact that Olivia isn’t in that seat beside you... let’s just say, it’s doesn’t take a genius to recognize lady troubles, my friend.”

“What? I mean — we’re not. It’s not — we’re just friends, Drew.” Robin tumbled through his words.

Drew’s eyebrows rose and disappeared into his salt and pepper waves. “And the whiskey? And the fact that you keep ignoring her calls?” He shot Robin a knowing glance. “I’ve been around the block a few times, kid. The only one you’re fooling is yourself.”

Before Robin could come up with another excuse, his phone vibrated again, Olivia’s name lighting up the screen.

Robin lifted his whiskey to his lips and downed the remaining liquid. Nodding his thanks to Drew as he refilled his glass, he swiped his finger across his phone.

“Olivia.” Robin answered.

“Oh good. You’re alive.” Olivia replied flatly.

“Because you anticipated I would not be?”

“I did think there was a chance you and your brother might kill each other respectively.” Robin could feel her shrug through the phone. “But when I didn’t see anything on the news, I just assumed Sam killed you and Sofia helped him hide your body.”

“Nope. Not dead.” Robin offered, in a voice that didn’t sound anything like his own.

There was a breath of silence, “you’re being weird.”

Robin swallowed his whiskey, tapping his knuckles on the bar for another refill. “I’m not.”

Olivia sighed, the sound almost sad. “Robin...”

Pinching the bridge of his nose, he exhaled a breath, the sound loud in his own ears. “Olivia, just -“

“Robin, what the fuck is going on? Where are you?”

His shoulders slumped. He had spent that last two hours trying to chase the memory of lavender and cedarwood from his senses, but at the sound of her voice, everything came rushing back — the thrum his body always felt at her nearness, the gentleness of her touch, the feelings he had been trying to ignore since the day they met.

Closing his eyes in defeat — knowing he wanted to see her much more than he didn’t — he replied, “The Stockyard.”

Drew refilled his glass with a wink, as Robin disconnected his call. “Don’t start, old man.”

Chortling, Drew put his hands up in surrender and disappeared to the other end of the bar.

He sensed Olivia’s arrival the moment she stepped into the bar. His nerve endings suddenly felt electrified, pricking against his skin, begging to be free and to be closer to her. His heart, a steady thump in his chest, matched the pattern of her footsteps. Since the first day they had met, before they had even been properly introduced, his existence seemed to be attuned to hers. It was a feeling he had hated when she was off chasing his brother, now it was something else entirely.

He pulled a hand down his face, fingers scrapping through his beard, as Olivia claimed the empty stool beside him. He felt the wave of her emotions flow over him, lining his veins with her unspoken questions, as she remained silent, stealing glances at him from the corner of her cognac gaze.

Drew appeared, unprompted, and set an Old Fashioned in front of Olivia. He raised his eyebrows in Robin’s direction, and Olivia shrugged in response.

“I thought we agreed you weren’t going to start, old man.” Robin reminded him, rolling his half empty glass between his hands.

Drew’s lips twitched as he tried to suppress his grin. “Right, sorry.” He said, winking at Olivia.

Scowling at Drew’s retreating form, Robin continued rolling his glass between his hands, ignoring the weighted silence that hung between them.

Robin felt Olivia’s inhale, his lungs filling with the same air.

“You’re being weird.” She said softly, her voice echoing through his chest. “Why? What’s going, Robin?”

He released the breath he had been holding since the scent of lavender and cedarwood consumed him, the sound loud and staticky to his ears, but he remained silent.

Olivia turned in her stool to face Robin, resting her hand on the crook of his arm. “You know I don’t care if you actually quit, right?”

Robin’s glass paused, his breath hitching at the contact. His stormy gaze traveled to the press of her hand on his arm. “I did quit.” He answered, finally, his voice scratchy.

“Then what’s going on?” She pressed, squeezing his arm gently. “We should be celebrating! Not doing whatever this is.”

He lifted his eyes to hers, her eyes the color of champagne in the lowlight of the bar. “Didn’t you hear me? I said I quit.” He emphasized.

Her gaze sparkled with confusion, like the bubbles in champagne. “I feel like I’m missing something.” The hand that wasn’t resting on his arm, found a home against the back of his neck, fingernails scratching against the bottom of his skull. “I thought this was what you wanted.”

His head clouded with her nearness, his nerve endings sparking in their desperation to be closer. He silently cursed the amber liquid mixing with his blood, bringing all the things he normally kept bogged down straight to the surface. He swallowed, his Adam’s apple bobbing from the effort. “It is.”

Olivia sighed, her breath fanning over his face, a mixture of mint and whiskey and the sweetness of cherries. “Robin.” His name was a question and a demand all mixed into one.

The answer to her question rested on his tongue and poisoned his heart. He wet his lips, the taste of whiskey ever present. “I quit working for Sam, so you’re going to leave.”

Her hand stilled against his skull, her touch against his arm lessened, and a thousand different emotions flittered across her features, settling somewhere between hurt, anger and disbelief. “Robin, I’m -“

“Don’t.” He interrupted. He swallowed down the last dregs of his whiskey. “Everyone always leaves. I knew you wouldn’t be the exception. I just - “ His words caught on the lump forming in his throat. “ - I just wanted you to be.” He pulled himself away from her, the slight distance feeling like lifetimes.

“Robin,” Olivia tried again.

He stood up abruptly, setting a handful of bills on the bar counter. “I’ll just - “ He shook his head. “You were supposed to be the exception.” He ached to touch her, to beg her to stay, but he didn’t — he couldn’t, instead he left her sitting at the bar staring after him.

The walk from The Stockyard to his apartment took no time and all the time in the world. He had always known Olivia had remained in his life as a way to keep the door between her and Sam open. He had been a fool to allow himself to think otherwise, to hope their connection meant more.

The moonlight streaming in from the floor-to-ceiling windows cast shadows throughout his apartment, lighting some corners and darkening others.

Robin tossed his suit jacket onto the couch, rolling his sleeves up to his elbows. Placing his forearm against the cool glass of the window, he rested his head against it, staring down at the twinkling lights of the city below.

A short while later, the hairs on the back of Robin’s neck prickled, causing his heart to go into overdrive, and just like at the bar — and every other time she entered a room — he knew Olivia was in the room.

He squeezed his eyes shut, his fingers flexing at his sides. “What’re you doing here, Olivia?”

“I live here.” She replied, her voice echoing around the silent apartment.

Robin inhaled sharply, the simple reminder causing a rift to open in his heart. Of course she had only came back for her stuff. “I could’ve hired someone to pack your things up and deliver them to you.”

“Why would someone need to pack my things? Are you kicking me out?”

Robin’s eyes flew open at her question, her accusation. “N - no, of course not, I just assumed - “ His words caught in his throat, as for the third time that day, the scent of lavender and cedarwood overtook him.

Olivia again slid into the space between Robin and the windows, causing Robin to adjust his forearm, so it now rested just above her head.

“I’m not leaving.” Her words were a puff of air against Robin’s lips. “I’m here because you’re Robin, and I’m Olivia, and that’s the only reason.”

Robin swallowed. “But what about Sam?”

“Why am I here, Robin?” Her eyes like crystallized toffee. “Is it because I’m something Sam can no longer have?”

“What?! No. Never.” He shook his head. “But - “

“You’re Robin.” She said, placing her hand against his erratically beating heart. “I’m Olivia.” She placed her other hand against her own heart. “And we’re the exception.”

Robin felt like he was on fire as he surged forward and crashed his lips against hers.

[sothischickshe]

tossing + turning + lumpy pillow???

Tossing and Turning: What parts of the writing process are you most comfortable with? Least?

Ok as far as I’m concerned there are at most 5 parts of the writing process, and even that’s pushing it. to wit: i. staring into space thinking ii. maybe writing notes but really that’s for nerds iii. writing it all down in preferably one go but maybe a few more if one must concede that ‘time’ exists iv. editing v. letting go/posting.

so i-iv, with the exception of ii depending on what kind of story it is, are the ones i’m most comfortable with. i do spend a lot of time editing and i generally really enjoy it, but it wouldn’t be much of a process without the preceding parts. i really enjoy the writing process, and it feels very free because it’s by hand/on paper, and one flow. but also the staring into space working it out part is great.

thus, the letting go/posting part is definitely the least comfortable! i mean i think letting go is hard partly bc the editing process is so lengthy so i’m stuck in the groove, but also posting is nerve wracking! 

Lumpy pillow: What is the editing process like for you?

um completely normal, it’s everyone else who’s weird hahahah

ummm i don’t tend to do huge amounts of editing on the paper version, but how much’ll depend on the (length of the) story. if i’ve written it down in one single go, i might read through it once or twice before typing it up, and make some small edits. if i’ve had to split up writing it down, when i pick it back up i might read through what’s there already and make small edits, and i’m more likely to read over the whole before typing it up cos i’m worried it’s not cohesive.

i might edit a little as a type it up, but often i’ll undo that cos it’ll turn out that i wrote it like that for a reason, duh.

then once i’ve typed it all up, the first couple edit passes will mostly be for fixing typos. and then i guess it’s just....rereading through it a lottttt and identifying problems and fixing them?! i don’t really identify what the different rereads are addressing, but i think they naturally do focus on different things.

whenever i read through the first typed draft i fucking hate it. i think i’m subconsciously taking stock of all the things i want to fix but don’t yet know how to fix? i don’t make any notes in the doc, which i’m realising you people are probably going to think is odd ha ha.

i guess i often start with low hanging fruit? like fixing word choices, and punctuation. i’m quite free with how i write the paper draft, so i’ll do a lot of pruning down mad run-on sentences, as well as cutting repetition (if it’s basically the same sentiment just differently worded it’ll probably go, if there’s a pair of adjectives that mean the same thing one of those is probably getting trimmed etc).

often i’ll realise things are missing - scenes or sentiments or sentences. sometimes i find that quite hard to insert into a typed document though, so i might make paper notes and add them in from there. i normally find it easier to work out what’s missing and where it needs to go when i’m not looking at the doc?

i found my extra notes for (a) time to kill, which are in 2 different notebooks cos apparently i’m too lazy to carry one from the computer to the bedroom and back again (?). a few of which are small statements like: ‘feet?’ or ‘she didn’t drive there’, but there’s also several whole paragraphs which were subsequently added in to different sections.

also! i got really annoyed with my tendency to start stories in the present tense, then flip to the past to explain how we got there, then flipping back to the present to carry on the narrative, and that’s how time to kill was written too. i ended up ripping that second scene apart entirely, so instead it was like blah blah action and then rio being like blah blah blah and remembering what had happened, while blah blah blahing around in the present. which was, like, a challenge to edit! cos it was already written as a scene in the past followed by a scene in the present!

so there’s a few noted down transition sentences too. i think i was finding it hard to edit when LOOKING at it - cos I was like, well this doesn’t work...but i can’t work out how to fix it? and then when I was THINKING it through away from it, i was like ah oh ah ok - put this in there, and that here, yeah yeah yeah (this was in the bedroom notebook, maybe there’s a point to having two??)

anyway, sorry that got long! the point is: editing is fun but computers are bad

insomniasks