pandaman

[yngai]

ada without the suave, classy & semi-flirtatious filter of her persona is such a vile, vulgar, cynical & petty person it makes me wish we got to hear more of her dropping the act to insult & belittle people who aren't simmons (even as she taunts leon openly the filter is still applied). she keeps the mask on tightly, even when she is alone. she never drops the act but there is a fire within her that is suppressed begging for blister & burn with all the rage she harbors for anyone that's dared underestimate her

[hum-suffer]

Of course, you'll hurt me 4 (Rajneeti)

When Amrita wakes up three hours later, it's dawn. She gets ready for the day as quickly as she can and for the first time in months, makes an Americano for herself.

She has a feeling she'll need it.

And she's not wrong, because ten minutes later, her phone rings and it's Prithvi bhaiya calling. Amrita looks down at the empty mug of coffee, the taste of it turning bitter on her tongue and braces herself.

"Amrita, I need you to pick up some books from the district library." He says, not bothering to greet her as he yawns. "And pick up my clothes from the laundry, please."

Amrita frowns as he rattles off a list of self help books. "Finally understanding that you need help, are you?"

Prithvi scoffs. "It's for Virendra. He'll need it, he's going to be panicking."

"I'm not going to let you ruin your career by being petty to Virendra," she says tiredly. "I'll bring the records that are necessary and your clothes. And what about the lawyers?"

"What lawyers?"

Amrita grits her teeth but instantly relaxes as Dev comes into the living room, yawning dramatically as he walks. She flashes him a smile and gestures for him to sit down as she goes to make him tea and pack some lunch for him.

"Lawyers who will make the documentation of the power shift, bhaiya. Chandra uncle is the acting president and you are the secretary." Amrita says, putting the call on the speaker she began boiling milk. "You saw Virendra bhaiya yesterday. He may as well try to prove something wrong."

She can hear the downturn of his mood as he speaks,"Don't give him so much respect, Amrita. And yes, I'll talk to Mamaji about the lawyers. I do think he's already contacted his lawyers, but it doesn't hurt to ask."

"Alright. And the rally we planned? Are we going through?"

"Of course," he says indignantly. "Bade papa would have wanted the party strong."

Amrita wants to groan. She doesn't have the energy for this bullshit, not today, not with so less sleep. She serves the tea in Dev's mug— he has more than three and this one is his favourite, with a print of Ninja Hattori on it. He'll refuse it with his life if asked, but he has a soft spot for the cartoon.

She sighs instead,"I'll be at your house in an hour and half. And, I'll take my lunch break later, I'll spend my lunch with Dev."

Prithvi hums. Amrita absolutely dreads whatever he will want to ask her and she hopes it's nothing about Sharma. If it is, she'll have to cross her boundaries and pull out all the stops. This situation is even more precarious than the last. A singular mistake like Sharma could cost them everything.

He ends up murmuring a quick goodbye and hanging up. It's unusual for him, but not unusual enough that she might investigate. Let him be. Amrita needs to focus more on herself and Dev, rather than the messy affairs of the Prataps. That's another job to deal with.

When she goes to Dev, he's pushing some books into his bag. "Thanks, Didi," he mutters, sitting down instantly. Amrita sits down beside him, serving both of them some snacks for breakfast. When they were younger, their mother had tried to instill the habit having fresh warm breakfast in them but Amrita's stomach couldn't agree with such heavy breakfast and Dev refused to eat alone— if his sister wasn't eating with him, he wasn't eating anything. Amrita had to restort to a compromise of dry snacks in order to get some food in the boy and also make sure she doesn't throw up her breakfast everyday.

"What's going to happen now, didi?" He asks, sneaking a chocolate cookie from her plate. "Bhanu Pratap is a huge leader. If he dies, who'll handle the party?"

Amrita shrugs. "I honestly don't care much about that and neither should you. As long as we get the money, I don't care who handles the party. Though, I am hoping Prithvi bhaiya becomes the Chief Minister from the elections. There needs to be some progress in my life. It's getting boring."

Dev shakes his head and smiles like he doesn't know what to say. "True enough. But I don't like the way Virendra bhaiya seems so distressed about Prithvi bhaiya. It feels off."

Amrita hums quietly. "That's true. Whatever happens, if push comes to shove and we need to choose, know that we'll choose Prithvi. He's reckless but he's been kind to us."

"And Samar bhaiya?"

Amrita gives Dev a side eyed look. "What about him?"

"You've never said anything to him after he's come back. I don't know what happened, but he broke contact with you and left you hanging. Are you sure you want to side with him?" Dev asks, frowning at her as he finishes the last of his tea. "Is he the person you can support, even indirectly?"

Amrita purses her lips and shrugs. She carefully sidesteps the dangers that Dev has planted in his words. "Eh. I don't know him all that deeply anymore, I don't think so. And who cares about him? He'll go back to America, I think. He's kept out of politics for a reason. Let's pray the reasons persists."

He doesn't look convinced but gets up and quickly washes his hands while Amrita grabs both of their bags and gets out, starting her Jupiter. Dev grudgingly sits behind her, muttering about how she never lets him drive. She pointedly doesn't start driving until he wears the helmet she's offering.

Amrita grins and elbows him and starts driving,"Be glad I'm babying you so much. Once you graduate, it's a cutthroat world. Let me treat you like my baby for a while. You've just started your college."

Dev— still a teenage boy, no matter how much she teaches him to show affection— keeps his hands on his thighs as he answers back to her snarkily. Amrita thinks this is the most powerful feeling that she has. She owns no power more important than the power to spend time with her brother, who loves her. Whom she taught how to love and be loved.

As soon as they're at the gates of his university premises, Dev gets off and removes the helmet, bending down and shoving his face between her and the side mirror to tame his hair. "This helmet always ruins my hair," he whines as she pushes him away with her fingertips on his forehead.

"Try mine next time, then." She rolls her eyes at his dramatics. "Come here, you idiot." She pushes his hair out of his eyes and helps him set it in the way she knows he likes. "I'll take you for ice cream after college, deal?"

"I desperately need blueberry ice cream. That's the stall I was talking about." He points at a stall across the street and Amrita shakes her head at his choice but doesn't comment on it regardless.

His watch beeps and he smacks his own forehead in a punishment that Amrita knows won't last anyways. "I'm about to be so late because you drive so slow! Bye, see you!" He pushes his helmet in her hands and turns around, starting to sprint.

She chuckles at him and calls back. "See you!" She knows she's embarrassed him, the poor fresher, but she can't help but enjoy it.

Everyone in the university knows Amrita Arya is an alumnus. And her name is engraved in the lore of the college. Their shared last name and Dev's sheer charm will protect him from any ragtag bullies, if there exist any.

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When she reaches his house with his clothes, Prithvi is talking to one of his bootlickers. Amrita gives Bharti aunty a smile and puts the clothes on an armchair for their house help to later pick up.

"Eat something, now that you're here. You were rushing a lot yesterday, you must be tired," Bharti aunty says, gesturing her to sit down.

Amrita shakes her head. "No, thank you, aunty. I'll feel nauseous if I eat anything this early. How are you? How is Chandra uncle?"

"Arre what will ever happen to me?" She waves off nonchalantly. "Your uncle left for the office headquarters today very early for some emergency meetings. The inner politics in the party needs immediate attention, apparently."

"Stop worrying, Maa," Prithvi says, finally off the call. "Papa knows how to handle everyone. They trust him to make the right decisions."

It's easy to manipulate old men in greed of power.

"Everything ready for the rally?"

Amrita nods. She brings out a file, to show him the route that she's prepared. Ideally, she'd be showing this to him 24 hours prior but Prithvi likes to stall too much. When she turns back to him, Samar is walking into the room. His eyes catch her for a moment and Amrita looks away instantly.

"We'll have to go Ramnagar first and continue down to Azadnagar. Strong seats but we do need to reinforce their belief in us, especially after last night." Amrita says, showing him the city plans. "These are the stats of the last time's election, from these areas."

Prithvi waves her off. "I don't have time for stats. You read through them?"

Amrita rolls her eyes but nods, keeping her eyes trained on Prithvi even as she feels Samar's eyes practically boring into her. "Yes. I've also talked to some people I know and it seems like Azadnagar has a change of views in politics but otherwise, the other areas are still under our influence. Especially, considering the employment drive we did a couple of years ago."

Samar yawns. "And this Azadnagar? Didn't people get employment there?"

"The elderly people of the area got medical benefits but no, we had some disagreements with the company who got the tender for road building and they didn't give us the same ratio of employment reservation for the people of Azadnagar." Amrita says, sighing. She remembers the shit show that particular spat was. Bhanu uncle handled it, but honestly, it was a shit show.

Samar hums, quietly picking up a mug of tea.

(Amrita remembers he prefers tea with mint and Tulsi.)

Samar takes one sit from the mug and his lips purse but he doesn't say a word. The kitchen has no smell of mint or Tulsi and Amrita can guess that Bharti aunty made ginger tea. She's always insistent on how good it is for health. She always griped about how using tulsi for tea is just an unfair way of using the pious plant.

(Amrita feels an unpleasant ache between her ribs when she realises she's right about his preferences still. That she remembered it correctly. Samar Pratap has always sunk into her veins with ease like he's always belonged. Vindictively, passionately and absolutely. Like he belongs.)

Samar decides not to come to the rally, even as a background face. Amrita envies his autonomy that he can say no to this circus. Amrita wishes she could.

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The rally, predictably, goes like shit.

Amrita literally has to take a pill for a brewing headache and plug her earphones in both ears. The overly loud and bright crowd does her no favours and the beginning of a migraine isn't something she wishes to welcome. Both Harsh and Prithvi see her rubbing her forehead every five minutes, closing and opening her eyes to keep the brightness at bay as long as she can.

"You okay there, assistant?" Prithvi asks ten minutes before they're about to enter Azadnagar. His voice is cajoling but she can see the worry in his frown. (Where was this concern yesterday, when someone was staring at her inappropriately?)

Amrita swallows the words and blows out a breath to relax herself. "Just, everything is too bright and loud. I'm okay, bhaiya, don't worry."

Harsh passes a water bottle to her and she grins at him, silly,"Aw, you do care!"

"There's poison in it," he deadpans. "Drink and die."

"Careful there, your wife will get jealous of me if you show so much love!" She teases back and even the mention of his wife brings a smile to his face. "Lovesick." She mutters under her breath with a smile, taking a sip from the bottle.

Prithvi passes her a pair of Ray-Ban aviators. Amrita raises her eyebrows at him in concern and question. He's never been one for sunglasses, says they make him look cheap. And she's not going to use some random bootlicker's sunglasses. Ew.

"They're Samar's," he explains, seeing her disgusted face,"he forgot them in the car when we went out for a drive early in the morning."

Oh, that makes sense. Samar has always liked to watch the sunrise and sunset.

Hesitantly, Amrita puts the aviators on. On an average day, she'd swear up and down and never wear them, but today isn't her day and she'd rather be seen in too big sunglasses than have a migraine.

Prithvi outright laughs at how big the sunglasses look on her face. Before she can realise anything, he clicks a picture of her, scowling.

"I literally hate you." She says without any heat in her words.

Prithvi blows her a mocking kiss and starts to stand up in the jeep. "Keep hating, assistant."

____________________________________________________

Tagging: @akshinayak (sorry for being so late!!)

[beauzos]

Spirit of Justice is such an interesting game to me because although it's about revolution and overthrowing tyranny, it is also a game that is so aggressively about maintaining the status quo at the same time. despite the fact that Khura'in appears to be an absolute monarchy and SOJ shows how damaging it is, they do absolutely nothing to change the institution beyond deposing Ga'ran and just instill a good queen instead! problem solved, i guess! never mind that it seems like the only qualification you need to be queen is to have spiritual powers, and the only reason Ga'ran is removed from the throne is because she doesn't have near the amount of spiritual power (if any at all) necessary to perform her duties as queen compared to Amara or even Rayfa.

but the only reason they even need to depose Ga'ran through proving her lack of spiritual power is because the game is obsessed with the idea of a "clean" revolution; Dhurke has to make it clear that they are actually all totally peaceful and non-violent so the player has no reason to feel guilty or uncertain of supporting the revolution. i think the issue with Ace Attorney tackling revolution is that because it's about characters who participate in the corrupt legal system nigh-unquestioningly (barring in SOJ itself to an extent, of course, considering being a defense lawyer at all is radical within Khura'in), it basically can't allow like. actual revolutionary dogma to exist in SOJ because it goes against the tenets of such a legal system that the gameplay is based on, almost diametrically opposed.

it does attempt to tackle the concept of people using the legal system to abuse others, such as how Paul Atishon manipulates Phoenix to get what he wants, or Nahyuta actively aiding and abetting the corrupt legal system that is destroying his country because he feels he has no other choice. i find the concept compelling, questioning how the legal system can be used for great harm when in the wrong hands. i also think it's completely silly at the same time just how cartoonishly evil the legal system in Khura'in is, as if Japanifornia itself isn't already ripe for examination in terms of corruption.

and yeah, yeah, i know. Dark Age of the Law and all that, but the legal system in AA has always been deeply corrupt, they just kind of act like it's singular characters doing it rather than a cultural encouragement. the legal system is seen as absolute, and therefore, questioning its conclusions is frequently not even considered until Phoenix decides to take a crack at it, and is eventually swallowed up by the corruption himself. even in the Dark Age of the Law arc of the games, corruption and lack of trust within the legal system is attributed to single people (Phoenix, Blackquill) instead of long-standing issues that existed well before Phoenix was likely even born.

SOJ was the first time they tried to address corruption in the legal system on a more systemic level, and although it can still be attributed mainly to Ga'ran as the source, they at least demonstrate that corruption is present everywhere, among every member of the legal system because they're grown accustomed to getting away with anything they want. they even add some nuance by sprinkling Nahyuta's story in there as someone who is unwillingly a part of this tyrannical machine, but... well, since this is the Funny Lawyer Game, revolution can only be done through legal means.

it makes perfect sense for the series, but to me, it feels like it bit off more than it could chew with the revolution tale. i kinda hate how they have to validate the dragons' revolution by insisting they've never done anything hurtful, reinforcing this idea that you have to be perfect and endlessly patient and Morally Superior (in a legal sense) to be a "good" or valid revolution. i don't think Dhurke and Datz should be out there fuckin killing everybody, but i just found that pacifism thing a bit silly, though i suppose it suits Dhurke as someone who was also formerly a part of the legal system.

TGAA does the revolution themes a lot better because it feels much more focused. the rot and corruption goes all the way to the top, but the rot we choose to focus on is in the legal system, rather than Ryunosuke trying to overthrow a whole fuckin monarchy lol. i also think it works because they allow the characters to be more morally grey or in the middle, rather than trying to make everyone you're supposed to care about squeaky clean like in SOJ (albeit you can argue Nahyuta isn't, but SOJ considers him to basically be totally fine at the end because it doesn't want to deal with him being morally grey?). Kazuma may not have killed anyone, but i'd consider him to be morally grey and i LOVE that about him.

idk if this makes any sense. i just think about how strange the themes of revolution are in SOJ. it's all about overthrowing tyranny, but then continuing to happily uphold the absolute monarchy that got them there in the first place once the "evil" is defeated! yeehaw! the monarchy shit seriously feels like a positive spin on the Divine Rights of Kings, and we must have taken a wrong turn somewhere because what the fuck. it's not like overthrowing Ga'ran fixed everything, the epilogue makes that clear, but it is so weird how the revolution is handled. they act like it's all over now that the big bad is gone. buddy, they got a big storm comin'.

overall, the issue with SOJ is scale. it has big dreams it can never possibly live up to because of the themes, gameplay, and nature of the stories told within Ace Attorney. there's ways to do it right, but it was not done very well in SOJ imo.

[jorisjurgen]

Mao Maud: 1, 2, 4, 6, 7, 9, 11, 12, 15, 16, 17, 19, 23, 24, 26, 28, 37, 38, 42, 46 im so fucking sorry im so so so so

I'm also going to take my other (non-krosmoz, they're all from a different fandom) ocs for these asks because unlike Mao Maud I had actually thought about them in-depth before this point because I'm a blabbermouth.

Also if you don't stop apologizing I will attack you violently with a deadly weapon (in my imagination due to the fact I am not in america and in real life it would be bad.)

What motivates your character?

Mao Maud: the desire to escape her old life, despair.

Ko'Kalavari: thirst for knowledge, and later, desire to help people.

Mathias: his friends and fear, and later, desire to help people.

Estaera: the desire to survive, thirst for treasure, despair.

2. How does the public view them? (Doesn't have to be anything major, it could be classmates, friends, strangers in the park, etc.)

Mao Maud: The public doesn't notice her.

Ko'Kalavari: People are very racist to her.

Mathias: Outsider. He doesn't belong.

Estaera: Gaudy peacock of a person.

4. Does your character care about their reputation and/or how others perceive them?

Mao Maud: She will die if people don't like her, but she'd like people not to think about her at ALL.

Ko'Kalavari: She'd rather study temporal cross-timeline shadow magic and lichification of the undead... Wait, what do you mean people fear that?

Mathias: He NEEDS to be perceived as good, and sadly, it means that everyone sees him as a sucker-up on the political ladder. Though them not taking him seriously doesn't end well for the nobles — sucker-up or not, he is ambitious.

Estaera: Cares about reputation, good and bad, equally. Their dream is to be a celebrity everyone knows has committed atrocities and can't prove anything against <3

6. What, if anything, sticks out about their appearance?

Mao Maud: She just looks like any old ecaflip, eh. She likes red a lot, so that probably sticks out.

Ko'Kalavari: She has fully black fur. It's pretty rare.

Mathias: Orange eyes. Very tall. Light teal skin.

Estaera: Redhead. Green eyes.

7. Is your character good with kids?

Mao Maud: No. She is afraid of them.

Ko'Kalavari: Yes. She LOVES kids. But she shouldn't be let near them due to the necromancy and vampirism. She wouldn't hurt them, I just think she's a bad influence + most people fear magic.

Mathias: He's wonderful with them. Like Kalavari. But unlike her, he also doesn't have unsavoury and dangerous interests, which is even better.

Estaera: They think they are, but they aren't. They wouldn't scream at a child, but they would get exasperated and leave, or unironically make fun of/argue with a kid.

9. What emotion does your character feel most frequently?

Mao Maud: Shame, deep-deep shame, for her entire self. "Sorry for my me" kinda character.

Ko'Kalavari: She is in awe of the beauty of the world. Also fear. She gets herself into a lot of trouble with forces even she can hardly comprehend.

Mathias: He tries not to feel emotions. But when he does it's probably shame, or tiredness. Life is a burden on him.

Estaera: Despair internally, and a small shade of whimsy from how little they care about life anymore. Life is a joke, and they are a clown.

11. What events in their past helped shape and influence them into who they are today?

Mao Maud: Having other kids throw fireballs at her, and her dad's death. She can barely remember him. She wishes she could.

Ko'Kalavari: Her kind and loving parents who instilled her with a love for travel and passed away peacefully of old age. Also being forced to eat human flesh once, while already travell—-

Mathias: Being beaten by his mom, and eventually beating her to death when he was 20, and running from the law ever since.

Estaera: Being beaten by their mom, developing alcoholism, and running away from home, falling into a life of crime.

12. What are some of your character's pet peeves?

Mao Maud: Joris, Kerubim, and Atcham keep vital information about the house and their relationship from her because they Forgor or "Didn't Think It Was Important" or "Didn't Think It Would Come Up"

Ko'Kalavari: People don't trust her just because she is a cannibal necromancer vampire witch who studies interdimensional time-travel magic that is reported to make its users "disappear from existence".

Mathias: People asking about his past.

Estaera: They have some specific ass alcohol and cheese opinions.

15. What habits does your character have?

Mao Maud: Fiddling with her clothes and hair because she's constantly nervous.

Ko'Kalavari: She dog-ears her ancient manuscripts. Remarkably casual about the most insane things.

Mathias: Smoking and hurting himself. He's scared of accidentally becoming addicted to something that muddles his mind (he's Seen The Horrors), but he has long accepted that life is simply unbearable if he doesn't do that.

Estaera: They're The Horrors that made sure Mathias DOESN'T have substance abuse issues besides smoking.

16. What is your character's relationship with their family?

Mao Maud: She feels like a disappointment to her mother. Her mom grew up on Rok Island, after Ogrest's Chaos, completely cut off from the outside world — while she grew up somewhere in Amakna, constantly travelling between Rok Island and her home, because her mom wanted her to be a huppermage. She wishes she was born a huppermage immediately, instead of being born an Ecaflip, and she isn't good at huppermagic at all.

Her mom has accepted it — she isn't a bad woman! She just loves her culture and wanted to raise Maud within it. There's no huppermage supremacy sentiment there. She loved her cat husband a lot too, and tried to get Maud into ecaflip stuff too (very cornily, and sadly, she is BAD at it, she doesn't get ecaflip beliefs at alllll.). But childhood bullying and projection (and the protectiveness her mom has due to the bullying) have Maud convinced that this is a deep-seated flaw within her.

Ko'Kalavari: Wishes her parents could have lived forever. I think seeing them age made her afraid of mortality. I think she was really close to them, and hasn't had success in establishing other close relationships since then. So she had to leave, and search for something more. It's one of the reasons she never wants to die too.

Mathias: Killed his mom who liked him more than Estaera and so, beat him less. Hates her, but wishes he had not done that. Misses Estaera a lot. Wears the earrings he gifted to them that they left at home, together with all of their other belongings, while running away.

Estaera: Ran away from home. Feels like they failed their mom, and if they worked harder she might have liked them more than their adopted "brother." Misses said adopted brother. Wishes they could meet again. Is weirdly not mad about Mathias killing their mom.

17. Overall, is there anything special or peculiar about your character compared to others in your story?

Mao Maud: Not really. She is an average girl. I think she's gifted in Ecaflip magic — on the clairvoyance side of things, when she really puts in the effort, but there's thousands of people just as gifted at that as her. Like literally one of her three employers.

Ko'Kalavari: She's the chosen one and it might be poisoning her brain with ideations of domination and power (literally on a cosmic level). Sadly.

Mathias: He's the chosen one, or fakes his way into being one, which is the same thing. Sadly.

Estaera: They're the chosen one, and also a partial soul-shard of a dark evil god of chaos. Sadly.

19. Summarize your character's goals in one sentence.

Mao Maud: Become normal.

Ko'Kalavari: Stop end of the world + become powerful.

Mathias: Stop the end of the world + end slavery via becoming a warlord on Vvanderfell.

Estaera: Don't let the only people who gave them a chance die.

23. If your character is at a loud, people-filled party, how would they act?

Mao Maud: She starts to cry. Nobody knows why. Not even her.

Ko'Kalavari: She's in her prettiest dress and she is so ready to be beautiful and pretty. Ends up leaving early due to boredom but liked the beginning.

Mathias: Soaking in the vibes. Listening on to conversations.

Estaera: Actively taking experimental party drugs.

24. From childhood to their current age, how has your character changed?

Mao Maud: Got more and more embarassed. I think it would help her, to know, that there are people out there far more embarassing, and yet happy. Like, at least three of them, all men, all in their 600s.

Ko'Kalavari: Got more and more scared of death. But... while she is ready to do anything for knowledge, and to save her own life, there is a sort of maturity obtained when she realizes, just how sick it makes her feel to take the lives of others for her selfish goals. She has to find a balance between the horrible things she is ready to do, and the horrible things she cannot do.

Mathias: Felt more and more responsibility. For Estaera's fate. For his mother's death. For his own life. For the lives of his lovers. For the House, for The Guild, for The Country, for The Continent, for The World. In the end it was too much, and he gave up. He will not be responsible anymore, after he fakes his death and leaves everyone.

Estaera: Got worse and harsher, if we're talking about childhood->canon events. Became a different being, if we're talking about post-canon->ko'kalavari's era.

26. What are the top three most distinguishable personality traits of your character?

Mao Maud: Clown the Jester. Weirdly endearing. Scared.

Ko'Kalavari: Fun-loving. Amoral. Scholarly.

Mathias: Ashamed. Secretive. Dead inside.

Estaera: Bojack Kinnie. Party animal. Desperate.

28. What emotion is the most unfamiliar to your character and how do they deal with it?

Mao Maud: Confidence. She doesn't even notice it, when she gets confident — and she keeps being confident as long as she doesn't acknowledge it.

Ko'Kalavari: Empathy. She doesn't really understand other people, at least not until after maturing. But truly connecting with, and understanding other people, is one of the wonders of the world to her. It's special.

Mathias: Pride. It's so rare for him to feel pride, and he feels a bit shameful, when he does. But... he tries to savor it.

Estaera: Happiness. They can't deal with it. It makes them choke up.

37. What does your character want to change about themselves?

Mao Maud: She wants to be a normal well-socialized member of society who has skills that aren't related to "doing huppermagic badly" and fumbling through her words.

Ko'Kalavari: She wants more power and knowledge. Always more. To protect herself and be respected and never die.

Mathias: He would like to be able to change things, but he doesn't really have hope. So, he'd like to have more hope in life. He really wants to have hope.

Estaera: Nothing. Everything. Yes. No. Honestly — they know they're awful, but they're under the impression that they cannot change. In some ways, they're right — they have no home, they're a criminal, they're addicted to multiple different substances. They have no way out of the life they fell into. But taking out their frustration on others has always been their choice.

38. Someone your character dislikes goes up to them and confesses. How does your character react? (Doesn't have to be a rejection.)

Mao Maud: She accepts and then ghosts them, moving to a different city.

Ko'Kalavari: Blushes and fumbles through a refusal.

Mathias: Politely declines. Very graceful and kind throughout the interaction.

Estaera: Humiliates them publically, says they'd rather fuck a cactus, and tells them "kys".

42. What is one thing that your character dislikes about themselves? ("Nothing" is also a valid answer.)

Mao Maud: Actually weirdly not a lot. She hates how talentless and spineless she is, but these aren't innate qualities of her character. She's hoping that working at a real job will fix her.

Ko'Kalavari: Her own actions. She is afraid of half the things she does. Why can't she stop digging through ancient dark magic tomes and summoning demons? The world may never know. But really — she hates how powerless she is. Like an insect. She wants to be powerful, deadly.

Mathias: He's a coward. It shows in many ways — he doesn't like being honest with people, and he doesn't take action when injustices happen. When he attains power — he is forced to play the long game, painfully aware that, technically speaking, he has the power to help so many people.

Estaera: Everything. They disgust themselves completely.

46. Does your character specialize or have remarkable talent in anything? If so, what is it?

Mao Maud: You see..., one of her main talents is inspiring 3 men in particular to pity her.

Ok I'm joking — I think she has some talent for fortune-telling and predicting the future, more than Kerubim (he's so lucky that he can predict what will happen, and Ecaflip has canonically given him future visions). She's not the first nor the last Ecaflip to have prophetic visions, but it's not a normal thing. I think being a maid for the fam, and connecting with her Ecaflip heritage for the first time that way, lets her actually work on this gift.

Ko'Kalavari: She is a walking, talking, cat-shaped, magical nuke. Also, she is good at healing and surviving. Very interested in how human bodies work and how to fix them up (both so they DON'T die and AFTER they die...). She is very young for someone who has a ko' scholar honorific.

Mathias: Politics. Also, while for Ko'Kalavari magic is a natural gift, learning it came hard for him — so he knows a lot about theories, maths, geometry, and biology of it. It made him a gifted enchanter first and foremost — when he can't rely on his strength, he can rely on the way he enchanted his items.

Estaera: They have a magic disability, so they can't use it too much — but it does mean they don't get hurt as easily. They like to use their small pool of power to do illusion magic and employ psychological warfare and human engineering in combat. They are very manipulative, even outside combat. Also, very skilled at ruining lives. Even their own.

[acourtofthought]

I, too, find this theory bizarre because A) how would Koschei have done that and 2) why would e/riel be a threat to him?

Maeve is the only character who’s messed with a bone, and she did that by breaking into other fae’s minds, with extraordinary skill. Nothing about Koschei is even remotely similar? While we don’t know much about Vassa and the others he has trapped, we know he hasn’t messed with their minds because Vassa is very much aware of him, what he’s doing, and actively working against him/to free herself. If Koschei were messing with Elain, Azriel and Lucien, they why wouldn’t he have a tighter grip on Vassa, too? Why would he allow her to plot and scheme, and live with the BoE? Feysand showed that the mating bond cannot be destroyed, nor even messed with in ACOMF/ACOWAR. If the very present, strong smelling Elucien bond were fraudulent, that would be an extraordinary work of magic which would have surfaced/been tied to Koschei in other parts of the story. But as it stands, it’s just Vassa and the girls at the lake. Brillyan was the one hoodwinking others, and very clearly so. There’s nothing to support the feasibility of Koschei messing with or faking a mating bond. Koschei cursed vassa =/= he’s instilled a fake mating bond for elucien.

And then two, what, exactly, is so threatening about E/riel? We already know Az either doesn’t trust or doesn’t allow Elain to put herself in danger. So how could their pairing be a threat to anyone? Oh no, the spymaster and his lover who he keeps secrets from and doesn’t allow to participate in grave tasks! We’re done for! I’ve seen this theory before (as backstory for how E/riel will get a rowaelin retelling despite the fact that elucien already have it) and it’s just so unserious. E/riel is not a pairing who’ve shown that they can and would work together—and by work together, I mean actually work against Koschei together. Elain couldn’t have given a shit about Azriel’s bloody and broken wings in ACOWAR, Azriel couldn’t have given a shit about her desire to find the trove in ACOSF, and both of them have not shown that they can communicate openly with each other. The closest they got was when Elain said “please” when Azriel tilted her head up in the bonus. Outside of that? Casual jokes, conversations about the garden and…that’s it. Not exactly the type of intimacy a unit would need in combat/on a mission. Certainly not the intimacy we’ve seen in Feysand, Nessian, The Valkyries, hell even Feyre and Lucien were more open with each other immediately after Feyre destroyed the spring court and they were on the run from Lucien’s brothers. Can we be so for real—E/riel have displayed absolutely NOTHING to even hint that their union would or could mean the end for Koschei.

🧼💖 and bc I just cannot ✋🏾

Happy Holidays 🧼💖!!! Are you celebrating with family tomorrow? I was happy to see your tag this morning. I find it a bit baffling when people claim Elain and Az have had all sorts of deep, connecting conversations with one another behind the scenes. A. Why would that make any sense? For them to have these moments that prove they've been falling in love when we, the readers, aren't even witness to those moments? That's the entire point of a romance story, is it not? To fall in love at the same time as the couple. B. If that's the theory they're subscribing too then couldn't we say the exact same about Elucien? That all those times Feyre mentioned she was leaving them alone to "talk", they had a conversation about how she just needs time but after she "sows" her wild oats a bit they'll revisit the idea of their bond? That she told Lucien that she's not ready for anything serious just yet and to give her time? Of course I don't think that happened but we could literally make anything up about what went down "behind the scenes" to suit our narrative. Because if that were the case, Elain wouldn't still be hesitant around Lucien and she also wouldn't be shy or have her hands shaking around Azriel. He wouldn't have mentioned that he purposely avoids spending time with her. He wouldn't have commented that she has no idea the things he does. I don't think anything major has happened off page and the things we need to know right now are the things that we've been able to read about. And you made SUCH a good point. Az has never shown any interest in training Elain, encouraging her to handle dangerous situations, etc. Even Cassian was trying to get Nesta to train as early as ACOWAR. Have we ever seen Az suggest that for Elain? And what exactly do Elain and Azriel offer together that would be a threat to Koschei? Spying on him and torturing information out of him? There's nothing about that pairing that jointly creates a concern for him. And I know Koschei made that comment that "he's spent so many months preparing for you" but to me that is less about Azriel then Cassian ( considering Koschei then says "You fell for it rather easily, though you took your time making contact. I thought you'd rush in for the kill, brute that you are" and then he seizes locks up Cassian's muscles so Briallyn can take him. Then he lets Az free. So to me, Azriel never really had anything to do with Koschei. It was always about grabbing Cassian to use against Nesta. At this point, the connection to Koschei is Vassa which leads to Lucien which leads to Elain based on all the hints in SF. Yet E/riels will create an entire storyline to make it about Elain and Az when there are ZERO hints that they together have ties to Koschei while ignoring the text that it's actually Elucien.

[mirobami]

Hey it’s been a while dude! Don’t rlly know if requests are open or not- totally cool if not. But if they are Could I request Midari fic with a reader who’s like very opposite. Like midari is yk vulgar and brass and such and her s/o is very bubbly and friendly. Like a bubblegum and marceline type beat? Midari like introduces her s/o to people and there all like “your…with midari? But why your polar opposites” and that’s basically the whole jist!

↳ complete opposite - m. ikishima

❤ GENRE: fluff.

❤ SYNOPSIS: in request!

❤ NOTE: hey hey it's been a second! I really loved this request, it was super cute, hope you enjoy!

Polar opposites existed blatantly, never as though they were extinct, they were as obvious as a streetlight at midnight. Many times, the expression "opposites attract" came up. If magnets attracted due to how contrasting they were, the same could be said about Midari and her lover.

Even now, she couldn't say how exactly she fell in love with Y/N. Midari could recall seeing Y/N and thinking that she was not going to be involved with her. How could she be involved with someone like her? Midari already had to deal with Yumemi. As a bright and bubbly idol, Yumemi had had Midari wrapped around her finger or so she thought. Midari could see past disguises but she couldn't see past Y/N's. No one in this school was truly kind.

No, she thought, no one in this school was truly gullible. Kindness led no one anywhere, according to her philosophy. She got her position on the council, not out of niceness but out of how brass and bold she was. She proved herself to the president but wished nothing more than to be inflicted pain by the president.

Kirari had rejected her, but did not tell Midari that she had other plans. The night that Midari took out her eye, she sat on her armchair, gazing at her aquarium. Her perfect aquarium, save for the few fish that tried to devour one another. There was a particularly fascinating one that seemed to glow pink under the artificial lights, swimming rapidly towards a catfish, who seemed not to care. Perhaps Midari and Kirari could come to an arrangement.

An arrangement where Midari could find what she was missing and Kirari could have fun watching everything occur.

Y/N was told to go to Kirari's office one day, unaware that what Kirari would tell her was something that would change her life. She stepped in the room and saw the president standing against the aquarium. "President? You called for me?"

"Yes, I did. Have a seat."

Happily walking over to the chair, Y/N waited until Kirari spoke up. "I called you here because I have an offer for you."

"Sure! What is it?"

"I want you to join the student council."

Kirari turned to see her expression, expecting some hesitation from her. She was the most friendly and bubbliest person in the school, contrasting to the darkness and cruelty that lurked through the corridors. The student council was on a higher level than that, able to ruin someone's life easily.

She only nodded with eagerness. "I accept! I've always wanted to join the student council, I just didn't know who to talk to, but I'm glad you reached out to me!"

With a sly smile, Kirari pressed a finger to her lips. "Only one condition. You must be with Midari Ikishima often."

There it was. The hesitation in her face. Kirari craved the fear that was instilled in people, only her expression wasn't fear. It was something more that she could not decipher yet. Either way, it told Kirari everything she needed to know. Y/N asked, "So as her assistant?"

"Of a sorts, yes."

"Well...if it means being on the council, I'll do it! I don't mind being with Midari!"

"Good. You shall join the meetings and be at Midari's side."

Midari wasn't too pleased to see Y/N at first. She was too bubbly, too energetic, too eager to do anything. There was true kindness in everything she did and Midari could swear that the more she did for someone, the more that person fell for her. Midari knew Y/N was technically her assistant, but she didn't want to use her as much. In her eyes, Y/N wouldn't give her the pain she craved.

"I brought you your favorite drink, Midari." Y/N chirped, setting down the drink in front of her as she toyed with her gun.

"Huh? I didn't ask for you to get this for me." Even with the brash words, Midari still took a sip of the drink. "This is my favorite. How did you know?"

If Midari didn't know better, she would say that she just flustered Y/N. She answered, "I pay attention to you." Quickly leaving, she closed the door behind her.

Midari's chest was pounding as she sipped her drink, the flavors even more delightful beecause Y/N brought it for her. This was a weird feeling. It was the same elated feeling she had when she was able to gamble with the president and she realized that the president could kill her if she did the right things. Only this time was different. It wasn't that she wanted Y/N to kill her.

As the days went on, Midari's thoughts were only on her. Sure, she was her complete opposite, but the thought of her being by her side no matter what could have made her giggle like a schoolgirl. She never did, she was only abrasive like always. When she told Yumemi about all this, the pink haired girl laughed.

"Midari, don't you get it? You have a crush on Y/N!"

Midari stumbled back. This was impossible. She couldn't possibly have a crush on the most bubbly and energetic girl in the entire school. No, Yumemi was wrong. This was a stupid emotion.

However, she got curious after a while. It seemed as though Y/N would do anything she asked. One day, she cornered Y/N, one arm on the wall as she breathed out harshly, using her free hand to tilt Y/N's face to hers. "Why are you doing this to me? What the hell have you done to me?"

Midari could feel Y/N shudder at the feeling of her fingers against her skin. She murmured, "What are you talking about? Are you sick? Did I give you something bad to eat?"

Getting closer, almost brushing her lips with hers, Midari was whispering. "You constantly give me butterflies when you're around. It's so annoying. But I hate seeing you with anyone else. I like having you with me. You do what I want without hesitation. Why is that?" She could feel Y/N stop breathing for a second. "If I wanted to try kissing you, would you let me?"

"What?" Y/N's demeanor changed quickly with Midari. Anyone could see that it was clear Y/N had a massive crush on her and it wasn't until now that Midari realized her own feelings.

"Would you?"

Y/N slowly nodded, making Midari smile. "That's what I was hoping for." Her lips crashed to hers, one of her hands on the nale of Y/N's neck and the other on her lower back. She would have been more gentle with the kiss, if it wasn't for the fact that the thought of her being with anyone else but her urging her to deepen the kiss. She was holding Y/N like no one ever had before and it was that notion that made her smile into the kiss. Midari could feel her assistant's hands clutching on her shirt, pulling her closer as if she had wanted to do this for the longest time.

Pulling away, Midari's chest heaved as she stared at Y/N with a softer glance. "I wanted to try that at least once. But...I think both of us want another one, judging by how eager you were. And don't say it's because of how you are, I'm sure you aren't this impatient with anyone else."

Y/N could only smile as she was taken away by Midari, who wanted her by her side only.

From that day on, no one knew that they were dating. Only the two of them did. There were suspicions but they were quickly shot down by the fact that Midari was her complete opposite and Y/N was always friendly with everyone. They thought that she was more friendly with Midari because of how brass she was.

"And with that, we can continue to the third part of this meeting." Sayaka stated, before being cut off by a groan.

Midari was slumped in her chair, staring at the ceiling. "Are we done? This is so boring, even playing with that Suzui guy is preferable right now."

"Midari, this is a meeting about the election." Sayaka tried to explain.

The girl with the eyepatch huffed. "Who cares about the stupid election?"

Yumemi chimed in. "Now Midari, you shouldn't say that! It's very important to some of us! Right, Y/N?"

"Sure." Y/N was doodling on a scrap piece of paper. "Tell me when we're done."

"See?! Even my girlfriend is tired of this, hurry up, we have a date to go on!"

It was as though the devil himself appeared in Midari's place. Everyone was staring at her and then at Y/N. They were staring as though Midari had turned into an alien. The silence lasted a few moments before Manyuda spoke up. "You...are dating Y/N?"

"Obviously. She's my angel, what did you expect?" She twirled her gun in her hand cockily.

Kirari could feel a knowing smile run across her face as Yuriko spoke up. "But Midari, you're...too harsh and she's a lot nicer than you! Why?"

"I had a crush on her for the longest time." Y/N responded.

Runa let out her signature laugh. "Of course! Didn't you see Midari and how she was sweating bullets at the sight of Y/N? Y/N may have fallen first, but Midari has fallen harder for her."

Midari rolled her eyes. "Yeah, yeah, get into the logic of it all you want. Now if you'll excuse us--" She stood up and took Y/N's hand, walking away. "We have a reservation to get to." The door slammed shut behind her.

The room was quiet. Manyuda straightened his glasses. "Midari? With Y/N? Is this a dream?"

"No, it was part of my plan. I knew Y/N had a crush on Midari and well, only I know Midari's type." Kirari answered.

"Oh, Kirari, you're so smart!" Runa exclaimed, tapping away at her PSP.

"Yes, that's great and all but...they took the papers I needed to read off next." Sayaka's arm dropped to her side.

"Wonder if they'll get married." Yumemi asked to herself.

"Are any of you listening to me?!"

"We should go spy on them and toss Midari a ring. President, make a Life Plan for them in which Y/N was to marry Midari."

"That's a wonderful idea, Runa. I will work on it straightaway."

Sayaka couldn't believe she was being upstaged by two people who were polar opposites, who weren't even in the room anymore.

[gallickingun]

so i saw the post about kissing that you reblogged and that made me think... imagine reader retweeting that on twitter and bakugou sees it, then proceeds to kiss her at random times the next day which really flusters her and she wonders why he's doing this because they normally don't advertise the fact that they're dating

a/n: this is a lot of all over the place randomness but... i kind of love it??? short little blurby about bakubaby treating you right!!!

ps, i can’t do anything short, can i? couple hundred words ahead lol 

Bakugou had always been possessive over what he deemed as his.

So, it’s somewhat strange, when he doesn’t necessarily lay claim to you in front of all his friends.

Sure, Kirishima and Mina know that the two of you are secretly attached at the hip, and Denki may or may not raise a brow when you get too close to one another, but overall it’s not necessarily well known that you have been exclusive to one another for the past few months.

Bakugou is genuinely secure in your relationship; the one constant in his life now that the Pro Hero Sidekick gigs are taking off. He knows that when he calls, you’ll answer, and that there is never too much of him for you to handle. Honestly, he never thought much about the fact that you didn’t really show much affection in public because you were on his mind every moment not premeditated on training exercises and patrols and skirmishes in the streets.

No, your affection comes in small doses, here and there and always in private. And you know that the Pro Hero life will be a lonely one at times, but you can’t help the insatiable need for physical affection. It’s something instilled in you, bred in you maybe. The unbreakable desire to feel the pads of his bare fingers, his knee slotting between your thighs as he lays closer to tell you about his day. You even wish you could just feel his hands on the crown of your head, maybe a gentle kiss to your shoulder.

At this point, after a couple of weeks of non-stop action in the streets, you start to grow restless. Your publicist says you need to show more attention to social media, so you take to Tweeter when you have a second to breathe in the agency locker room.

It doesn’t take long for you to find a relationship-based account that posts sappy quotes and cute photos; it makes your heart ache and long for something a little more concrete than what you have now - something just a smidge more open.

In a moment of haste, you post a response to a specific original comment: I was extremely kissable today and do you know how many kisses I received???? Zero!!!

It’s something harmless; a gentle joke with your growing audience. You need to prove to them that you’re relatable, which is all that you’re doing. It couldn’t have come from the darkness of your mind that clouds your vision at night, begging you to crawl into Katsuki’s bed at ungodly hours of the night even if he’s not there; even if the two of you aren’t there yet.

It is another night spent alone, cold ramen on the coffee table as you fall asleep on the couch to old training tapes of yourself replaying on the television. You were trying to pick apart your every misstep, but all you could focus on was the way your body aches for your lover. Your blood beats heavy in your chest, the sound deafening to your ears when the pulse throbs at your temples and in your jugular. The edges of you crave something solid to fall against, to fall into.

You want Katsuki.

Instead, you step into your hero shoes and get ready to conquer another day at the agency.

When you step out of your car, you’re surprised to find Bakugou’s vehicle parked next to your usual spot. Even though he’s an early riser, he’s usually patrolling or attending appointments during the morning hours, so it’s a bit out of sorts to see his car already in it’s place.

The front door is pulled open for you by a familiar face - ashen blonde hair framing crimson irises, a small smile tugging on his full lips. You tilt your had in silent questioning as you step over the threshhold and into your persona for the day. 

You let out a strangled sound when those very lips find yours, right in the middle of everything, the hallway full of people turning to look at the two of you.

“Good morning,” he murmurs as he steps away from you, vermillion irises trailing over your frame, “sorry I didn’t make it over last night. Patrol was a bitch.”

You shake your head but you can’t reply because your mind is foggy, dizzy in its haze to attempt and figure out why he’s done what he’s done. There are several people staring at you now, mouths slightly agape at the obvious display of affection that is rather unusual for the pair of you. Most of those that you’ve now given full access to the validity of your relationship only hinted and gossiped about it prior, unsure if the lingering gazes you might send one another are truly that of longing rather than carelessness.

“S’okay,” you manage, “no big.”

He’s smiling, squeezing your arm before turning to walk his own way. You’re left breathless in the front entryway, hand covering your mouth as you watch him fade further into the hallway until he’s boarding the elevator.

You blink once, squeezing your eyelids tightly so you see stars. And then you take the first step forward to start your day, desperately trying to ignore the effervescent champagne bubbles in your belly but failing miserably with each passing moment. 

The tap on your door at lunchtime brings your attention back to the present, eyes finding the bulky frame of one Pro Hero: Ground Zero at your door. Your jaw goes slack but you stand to your feet anyway, “H-Hey, what’s up?”

“Can’t I take my girlfriend to lunch and it not be a whole thing?” Bakugou clicks his tongue against the roof of his mouth, crossing his arms and rolling his eyes. “C’mon, dummy, let’s go.” 

Bakugou actually takes you by the hand - a gesture he hardly does even in the confines of your personal home - and walks you towards the food court near the center of the agency. When you stand in line, he kisses the back of your head and pulls you closer to him. The people around you stop and stare and you know it’s because the big, bad Ground Zero finally appears to have shown that he has a heart.

The pair of you eat in relative silence, focused on scarfing down the food in front of you before you turn to speech. Bakugou is finished first, kicking his feet up on the chair next to yours. He smiles across the table at you and offhandedly asks you about your day. 

Through a mouthful of noodles you mutter something along the lines of a whole lotta paperwork, which makes him laugh. You tilt your head, marveling at this new version of your significant other. You aren’t sure if you should enjoy it or be worried, but the revelry you’re sharing in the way people look at the two of you now that he is being openly affectionate makes you keep your mouth shut for the time being.

It is only when he drops you back off at your doorstep and asks you to consider taking the rest of the day off with a kiss to your cheek that you finally broach the burning topic. The words are like acid on your tongue, “What is going on with you?”

Bakugou brushes his thumb over your jaw, leaning back enough to look in your eyes. Something falters in him and you step closer, palms finding his chest, “Katsuki, did I do something wrong?”

“No,” he snaps immediately. Bakugou turns his face away from you so he can compose himself, “I did something wrong.”

Your mind wants to flood with the horrible things he could be talking about, but Bakugou is already interjecting with another sentence before your imagination can wander too far off of a cliff. 

“I saw what you posted yesterday and I feel like I’m being a really shitty boyfriend by not just fucking telling people that we’re together.” He runs his hands over your arms, tucking his thumbs into your gloves, “This is my way of trying to make up for it.”

The tips of your cheeks are painted pink and you can’t help it when you surge up to kiss him square on the lips. The action leaves him breathless, eyes half-lidded as he tries to work himself down from the adrenaline rush.

You bite your lip, “I just decided that I’m taking the rest of today off.”

Bakugou cups your face, fingertips tickling the nape of your neck, “Sounds like a plan to me.”

[masshirohebi-moved]

With parent-teacher conferences underway, Ryū gets to serve as the attending medic to give the class their physicals. Upon Orochimaru's attendance, she gives a polite bow in welcome. "As I'm sure you know, Mitsuki-kun is in perfect health. It would seem he takes after his parent - he's fit as a fiddle, and can move right along to graduating!" (I don't watch Boruto so hopefully this is okay - let me know if not!)

Only a select few are allowed to see the serpents true appearance within the walls of Konoha. For only a few can be trusted to not spark panic, to not instill fear within fellow shinobi. An outbreak of concern would not settle well in the hearts of the new generation - the Hokage would not permit it. All the same, the man could not force child and parent to be a part. So leniency is granted to the serpent, where they are under surveillance, under henge, unless informed eyes are the only gazes present.She is evidently one of the trusted few, and it is not to their surprise when they see her badge of duty. A medic needed to know intimate details about their patients, knowing where Mitsuki hailed from, knowing his ancestry, would prove critical for her analysis. All the same, her greeting is accompanied by a bow, and then one step further of respect to announce that she assumes them to be well informed already.A truth all the same, for they had personally given their son many medical exams during his life. A keen eye kept to ensure their children never suffered the cruel ailments of being human. For the boy would be exempt from bodily fragility, at least for as long as the Sannin had anything to say about it. All the same, her words while boasting mostly politeness, also carry an element of acceptance. Her exclamation of his good health certainly insists she isn’t hateful, or if she is, she is a definite master of hiding her true feelings on a person. Then again, they imagine any good medic should have that masked ability.

It is needless for them to say that they expected as much - she has already proved that she is aware of the Sannin knowing the tests results ahead of time. So instead, they merely nod their head lightly in confirmation of her report, golden eyes catching in her stare, fixated for a moment. The serpent makes it their business to assess the highly talented shinobi. This woman had been compared to their old friend, Tsunade. A feat worth investigating in itself. So as much as she knows them, they too know her. Whether she would find a sense of unease, or pride for having caught their obsessive attention, is up to her.“He’s a capable child. I am sure he will be most pleased to move ahead with his comrades,” they state, a fanged smile lining their lips, “you must be Ryū-san, correct? I have heard quite a lot about you dear.”// @kusunokihime

[seriestrash]

You Me Her

1 || 2 || 3 ||

Chapter Four: Drama Club

Word Count: 2674

↠ ♥ ↞

After Kai whisks Riley away from Lucas and Maya, he leads her out to the courtyard where they first met that morning. The boy sits himself on an empty table top and rests his feet on the bench seat attached. Riley quietly sits herself adjacent to him at the end of the seat. 

“Back to the scene of the crime..” Riley lets out a nervous giggle. 

“Again I stress, that was not me.” Kai crinkles his nose in disgust at himself. 

“And bursting through doors crying like a weirdo isn’t me either.” Riley tries to make light of it even though she was actually embarrassed. “May I ask why you were out here?” 

“Well considering I already know why you were upset I suppose it’s only fair I share my truth.” Kai sighs. 

Riley deflates a little once she’s reminded how people know her business without her even having to explain it. Still, Riley tries her best to listen respectfully as Kai gives an explanation. 

“I’m in this group chat with the other kids in the drama club and we were discussing auditions for the winter musical- Which is Grease, by the way.” Kai continues. “And I said I was going to audition for Danny Zuko and they laughed at me.”

“Why?” Riley asks cautiously as she had a feeling this could get heated.

“Apparently I look too soft.” Kai says with an eye roll. 

Riley had thought it - not that he wasn’t right for the part - but Kai certainly did have an innocent look about him. In the short time Riley’s known Kai, she realises looks certainly don’t describe a person, not this person anyway. Even though there were in the same year level Kai was never on Riley’s radar so that morning was really the first time she’s processed his existence. At first glance Riley got immediate shy guy vibes from him. He had that soft and pure look to him that the other drama club members mentioned. After Kai handed her a tissue out in the courtyard Riley felt a kindness from him and when he whisked Riley away in the hall moments earlier Riley sensed a protective nature. In the conversation that follows and many more after this day Riley realises just how the opposite Kai is to how he looks. It’s not that he isn’t pure it’s just that he’s confident, bubbly and so personable. Definitely not shy. Riley can’t believe how many people he knows. It has her questioning her own friend group and Riley wonders if it was healthy how consumed she was with so little people but then she thinks about quality over quantity and ends up on a thought spiral for hours. 

“So I came out here to prove to them I wasn’t soft.” Kai continued. 

Riley nods along as he speaks, not saying much herself. 

“What do you think?” Kai asks. “Do you think I’m soft?” 

“Ugh..” Riley isn’t exactly how to answer without offending the boy.

“Oh my god you think I’m soft!” Kai groans. 

“No, no, it’s not that!” Riley scrambles quickly. “If I’m being honest you do have a... sweet... look about you but it’s acting. How can anyone say you’re not able to play a part?” 

“Thank you!” Kai exclaims. “It’s not like I’d wear my glasses and snort on stage. I’d be in costume acting like Danny.” 

“Exactly!” Riley nods with a smile. “I say you quit the teen rebel act and put that energy into your audition.” 

“I knew this friend thing was a good idea.” Kai wears a wide grin. “Now, you’ve got the ‘too pure to be pink’ part down so I think we should work on the ‘You’re the one that I want’ Sandy.” Kai eyes Riley.

Riley squints at him wondering if Kai realises he’s just used the same sort of remark on Riley that offended him in the first place and as if he read her mind because Kai mumbles an explanation how he means it positively. Like she’s already nice so they didn’t need to work on that aspect of the roll. Either way Riley wasn’t offended but more so shocked at what Kai was suggesting. 

“You think I should audition for Sandy?” Riley gives him a quizzical look. 

“Did you want to be Rizzo or someone else?” Kai is confused at her shock. 

“They’re a bit.. I don’t know.. Major rolls?” Riley laughs nervously. 

“Your point?” Kai coaxes his head. “You audition for the main and then if you get something smaller you get something smaller.” 

“I can’t be Sandy.” Riley shakes her head. 

“Why not?” Kai questions.

“Well for starters I have brown hair...” Riley scrambles nervously. “Sandy’s blonde.”

“Riley please, it’s 2017, I could audition for Sandy.” Kai chuckles. “I don’t think being a brunette will hurt your chances.” 

“I don’t know.” Riley shakes her head.

"Have you ever acted before?” Kai questions. 

“I played Juliet in Romeo and Juliet back in middle school... But that turned out to be a disaster.” Both the play and the promise that Lucas made her after it.

“We could do a joint audition!” Kai beams. “That way you’d be less nervous having a friend up there with you! We could be Abigail Adam’s very own Danny and Sandy... You know if Danny was more interested in sleeping with Kenickie.” 

Riley lets out a soft and genuine giggle which makes Kai smile. “So you’ll be my audition partner?” Kai asks. 

Riley’s just about to nod when another doubtful thought flows into her mind. “Grease is a musical... I don’t sing.” 

“There’s a difference between don’t and won’t.” Kai says with a crooked smile. “We can work that out together.” 

Riley nods finally. “So you don’t think I should start small? Maybe go for a minor roll or something?” 

“You’re Juliet, Riley.” Kai holds her gaze. “You’re not.. Capulet number five.” 

Kai was so encouraging of Riley and they were practically strangers but his terminology like calling her his friend after five seconds of knowing each other was so inviting and it really made Riley feel good about things too. 

It’s clear to Riley that the play is important to Kai and he’s placed faith in her with their audition, something of such monumental importance. Something about Kai- Everything about Kai, his confidence, kindness and blind faith in Riley saw her taking her own leap of faith and actively agreeing to audition with him for the lead rolls. 

After the new friendship was born it was only three days until auditions for the musical so the two teens worked religiously on their lines together every afternoon. Kai quickly deducted Riley was more of a ‘won't than don't’ in regards to singing so he helped her loosen up and they had fun with the songs. 

The two watched the movie three times over for ‘research' and each time they’d end up bouncing on Riley’s bed singing the tongue twister of a final song over and over for practice. Three days with Kai and Riley was back to her giggly self. Given, any moment of Riley’s spare time was poured into her new friendship which really took her mind off other pressing issues.  

Riley is quite trusting and easily places her faith in new people. This isn’t always a good thing as it can turn out negatively for her but Riley’s newfound friendship with Kai was anything but negative as her faith was put in possibly the best person she could and as time would tell Riley had made a lifelong friend in Kai. 

The afternoon of the audition arrives and Riley nervously finds a seat in the auditorium. Kai is busy as an existing member of the drama club. He and the other nine students - a few from each grade - were all given jobs by Ms. Mitchell - the drama club teacher - to ensure the auditions ran smoothly.   

Riley sits anxiously in her seat and watches as student after student takes the stage. Riley believes each one to be a hundred times better than her. Fifteen minutes in Riley is approached by someone.

“Is this seat taken?” He asks quietly not wanting to interrupt the audition process.

Riley smiles softly at the boy and motions for him to take the seat. The whisper belonged to Noah Pearson a boy in Riley’s year level. She knew him from her English class although they’d never actually spoken. Noah is intimidatingly good looking and also a star player on the football team despite only being a freshman. Had Riley of not seen him around school before she might have been nervous in his presence but Riley had first hand witnessed his kind nature so she felt instantly at ease with him.

“So, are you auditioning or just spectating?” Noah whispers.

“Auditioning... Regretfully.” Riley lets out a quiet and nervous chuckle.

“I’m sure you’ll be great.” Noah gives her a warm grin. “Your English speeches are always so effortless and captivating.

Noah’s short but kind statement boosted her confidence entirely. “Thank you.” She whispers back. “What about you, are you watching or auditioning?” 

“Watching of course!” He giggles nervously. “You’ve seen me stutter through my speeches in class. Performing isn’t really my thing.” 

Before Riley could attempt to build his confidence, Ms. Mitchell calls a short intermission and Kai approaches Riley to tell her they’re on next but when he spots Noah he scrunches his face into a scowl.

“What are you doing here?” Kai snaps. “You and your football pals here to make fun of the drama geeks?”

“Kai!” Riley frowns at him.

“I was just watching.” Noah says sheepishly. 

After another moment of awkwardness goes by Noah decides to leave and Kai’s scowl follows him on the way out. 

“Kai that was mean.” Riley continues her frown. 

“I’m looking out for you, Ri.” Kai takes the seat previously occupied by Noah. 

“I don’t understand... Noah was being nice?” Riley knits her brows together. 

“Probably because he wants to get in your pants.” Kai crosses his arms. 

“He wants to what?” Riley squeaks. 

“Oh my sweet, Riley,” Kai gently strokes Riley’s shoulder. “Ever since word got out that you’re officially single it’s like you’ve become every meatheads main target.” 

Before Riley could process Kai’s statement or question it further Ms. Mitchell is calling them both up to stage. Riley takes a few deep breaths and tries to remember the confidence that Noah’s words instilled in her. Although, any of the bravery she found washes away the moment Riley steps on stage as she witnesses Maya and Lucas slip into two seats at the back of the auditorium. They were only there to show support to their friend but the surprise certainly shook Riley into fumbling her audition. Kai held his own and tried his best to help Riley though her parts.

After practicing for three days Riley knew Kai had all the potential to be Danny Zuko but ultimately the mediocre audition landed Kai as Putzie and Riley as Jan. The minor roll made Riley feel more comfortable about the play but she still felt horrible about ruining Kai’s bigger goals and she continuously apologises for it. Kai was anything but mad and he brushed off her apologies every time, assuring Riley that he knew the part of Danny was always going to go to someone older and that he was still a T-Bird so he could stick it to the bitches in the drama club that said he wass more suited for Eugene. 

Somehow Kai manages to turn Riley’s complete frustration about it all into a positive and he even convinces the brunette to join the drama club. Kai is quick to give Riley a rundown of each member. He concludes that six of the nine students that weren’t him were indeed snooty and not worth her time and the three others - including himself - were pretty cool. With this in mind Riley still goes in trying to eliminate preconceptions of the other students and give them all a fair chance. Still, Riley also concludes that six of the ten - now eleven - drama club members were also not really her crowd. Maybe it was the fact that the other members were freshmen so they didn’t have a sense of higher importance than the ‘snooty’ students but whatever it was about the other three they certainly made Riley feel welcome.

After the announcement of the rolls the rehearsals began immediately as the play was set to open in one month. So again all Riley’s free time is sucked into the production. Also, with the play came the expectation that Riley spend more time with the drama club so at lunch and after school Riley found herself having less time to hang around her friends as she was trying to build new friendships with these kids. A process that is bittersweet for Riley. On one hand she felt happy in the new environment and it got her away from having to watch Lucas and Maya be, well, Lucas and Maya but on the other hand Riley missed them. Another thing that goes in circles for the quirky teen as she spends time away from them and longs to be with them but when she does eventually hang out with them she slips into her down mood and longs to be anywhere but there.

Riley is known to have a dramatic flare with her over the top reactions and neurotic thinking when it comes to certain situations. Sometimes this trait is seen as cute amongst her friends but she’s not oblivious to the fact that sometimes she can be ‘too much’ for them so she has tried her best to be more rational about things. Although, Kai encourages this part of Riley and he basks in every bit of her wacky reactions. Hanging around Kai made Riley feel special and ultimately happy so naturally she wanted to spend more time with him. At first Riley sticks to her whole stance about how she’s unaffected by Lucas and Maya even though Kai had seen her crying about it but still he smiles along and sticks to the trivial stuff with her but eventually Riley opens up to him and their lines of communication are opened completely and there isn’t anything the two couldn’t discuss with each other. 

Having Kai and the drama club was a perfect out for Riley and she felt bad for thinking of it as that. She felt bad that she wanted to escape her friends but she also felt like she was using the drama club and Kai. Kai knew this and he encouraged her to use him whenever she wanted because he truly cared about her emotional state and he knew how she overthought it all. They were friends now and she’s supposed to use him and he was happy to be used in anyway she needed. 

Eventually it wasn’t an excuse anymore, Riley found herself wanting to be with them and it made her feel guilty when she thought it over at night in bed. Riley knew it wasn’t her friends fault and she’d never want to pass blame onto them but Riley couldn’t help but feel so down whenever she’s with them.  Riley thought maybe it was her fault for more reasons than one but the main being that she created a fairytale scenario for all of them which made reality hard to live up to. With that being said Riley’s mood was being uplifted by her new drama pals and it left Riley feeling that she could be happy in all aspects of life including the one with her her original friend group. 

Just as Riley’s working out a healthy balance between the two, one spills into the other before she’s ready and Riley realises that as much as she hopes for it to be different sometimes hope isn’t enough because other feelings are stronger. Riley realises that hope isn’t the most powerful thing in the world because sometimes other feelings can be stronger. 

↠ ♥ ↞

End Notes: Firstly, sorry this chapter took so long! I was trying to rejig it and yeah blah blah. 

Secondly, I hope it’s not a cruddy chapter as I’m trying to build the other journey Riley’s about to take with new people in her life. The last paragraph may be vague and confusing but next chapter is when her two worlds collide as we embark into Riley’s sophomore year. 

The next two chapters after this are very Lucas x Maya x Riley based so stay tuned! This story is more than Lucas choosing Maya and then wanting to be with Riley. It’s a journey about Riley and her growth after ski lodge. Each chapter are important parts of that journey. This chapter being the friendship established between Riley and Kai. 

As always I appreciate any feedback given! I hope you’re enjoying thus far. I know I said it was a trial period but I’m pretty invested in the story now so hopefully you stick with me :) x