#they don't give us much. a couple of pic in 6 months is nothing :) and that's good for everyone.

[goldenpinof]

I don't know why... but from the things that they have been posting since the beginning of the year, I feel that they are becoming softer and more open about showing their relationship. The phude, the shoe pics, the hair video, and even Phil's "dinner together" album with Dan's lingerie pic. They feel so domestic yet intimate. I wonder what makes them change their mind. Is it because they decided to show us the Phouse at some point this year, and it's inevitable to somewhat expose their relationship?

All I want to say is nothing happened this year is on my bingo card, and I am loving every bit of it:)

"expose their relationship" as if there's anything left to expose :)

i think it has a lot to do with a couple of things:

- Dan going on tour and seeing how gay and accepting of him being gay we are irl (ii all over again but older and gayer);

- dnp deciding to revive dnp brand at some point. and it all started after Dan came back from Australia/NZ (say thank you to Katie @cardsagainstdnp for pointing that shift out). why the decision was made? who knows. again, the tour played a huge role in their future plans imo.

- yes, a possible forever home tour. but i think it's just a continuation of them being more open and stop lying (partially, because it doesn't work 100% anyway. partially, because they are probably so proud of what they've done design-wise, they just wanna brag about it).

- their audience grew up and stopped being problematically annoying. no matter what they do, it doesn't create a mayhem anymore. we do discuss exciting things and news but within a day or two we calm down. and we stopped bothering them directly with stupid assumptions and questions? dnp don't make headlines, and if they accidentally do it's not because of us, and we actually don't like when some magazines make weird-ass articles about them. we are on dnp's side, gay or not, if you know what i mean. and i think they are aware of it by now.

there's probably something else, but what do i know <3

[uchiha-gaeshi]

~ Introduction Post ~

Last updated: 2024-11-13

Hello, and welcome to my blog! Right now, I'm trying to make this blog more Naruto fandom focused, so you'll find non-fandom and personal posts here: @chronically-insecure. Unfortunately, you'll find people like @shin-suusenju running their mouths with shit takes.

This blog was formerly sasuke-did-nothing-wrong.

Note: If you have an empty blog (i.e. default profile pic, "Untitled", and nothing reblogged or posted), I might assume you're a bot and block you.

Also, if you're new to Tumblr (or still barely have a grasp on how to use this site), find some helpful posts here, here, here, here, and here.

~ Navigation ~

~ Here are some things to know about this blog ~

Right now, I post/reblog Warring Clans/Konoha Founders' Era content, although I do dabble a bit in other parts of the Naruto fandom.

Since this also functions as my main blog, you might see a couple non-Naruto or non-fandom related posts

I mostly reblog things I find neat, and I often ramble and yap in the tags. I am over 18, so there will be a smattering of nsfw posts. I usually tag them as nsfw (#cw: nsfw) and/or nsft (#cw: nsft).

If you see me spam-liking your posts without a single reblog, that's probably because the posts are stuck in my queue. You'll hear back from me in 3-5 business days (or...weeks. I have enough posts in my queue to last at least 2 months).

Most posts, including original posts from me, are queued (right now I’m trying to clear out my queue since apparently you can only have 1 000 posts in the queue, so I’m churning out 50 posts a day)

This is a pro-sasuke, pro-uchiha, anti-konoha, anti-hiruzen, anti-danzo, and anti-hagoromo blog.

I change opinions as often as I switch outfits, so if you see a take you think is dumb, drop by again to see me contradict myself. I contain multitudes.

Don't be shy about stalking my blog and spam liking/reblogging!

My asks and DMs are always open! Just make sure to be a decent human being and we'll be good.

______________________________________________________________

~ A little bit about the person behind the blog ~

Name: you can refer to me as Nana Akua, Eugene, or UG

Pronouns: they/them

Age: 23 (apparently)

Gender: non-binary, for brevity's sake

I'm neurodivergent (adhd)

I'm Black (Ghanaian-American)

pro-palestine, pro-lebanon (can't believe I have to say that), so if you're a zionist you're not gonna have a fun time on this blog

I've been into Naruto since I was like 6 (in hindsight, I don't think someone that young can really understand what's going on. Hell, you got dudebros in their 30s who don't really know what's going on, and also.... I'll just stop there)

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~ Characters of Interest ~

This is a blog that focuses on the Founders' Era, so this list includes pretty much every character named in the databook and also: Hashirama and Tobirama's unnamed mother (because who gives a fuck about those amirite \s), Madara and Izuna's unnamed mother, and Madara's unnamed siblings

Obito

Sasuke

Granny Chiyo

Temari

Tsunade

Comfort Characters: Shizune, Yamato, Omoi, Sai

______________________________________________________________

~ Ships ~

Yeah, I'm one of those dreaded shippers. So, here is a non-exhaustive list of ships (romantic, platonic etc.) I like, dislike, or have certain thoughts on. This is just a very limited snapshot of what piques my interest now, and these can change at any time. With mlm/wlw ships, I don't really care who tops/bottoms, and if I do it's because I'm being a contrarian.

OTPs: HashiMada, SNS, TsunaDan (this is now my token het ship)

BROTPs (i.e. familial, platonic, mentorship etc, NOT ROMANTIC): Hashirama & Tobirama, Sand Siblings, Madara & Izuna, Madara & Obito, Sasuke & Itachi, Kakashi & Obito (this is also a romantic ship I find intriguing)

NOTPs: most UchiSaku (including, but not limited to: MadaSaku, SasuSaku, ItaSaku), Akatsuki x Sakura (Don't get me wrong, I ship the girl with anyone, but I'm a contrarian at heart and get tired of seeing her paired with these characters in particular. I mean, the Konoha 11 is right fucking there!!!), any incest ships (sorry that's not my thing)

Ships I find intriguing (a non-exhaustive list): MinaKushi (has been demoted from my OTP list thanks to this post), HashiMito (same thing going on as MinaKushi, but it's in that grey area of OTP and intriguing ship), MadaMito, HashiMadaMito, TobiIzu/IzuTobi, MadaGai (it could also count as my OTP), JiraOroTsu (toxic polycule version), InoSaku, MadaTobi (it reeeaaally depends on how the character are depicted tho), MikoKushi, KakaGai, KakaYama, among many, many others

Ships I ship because I think it's fucking hilarious (i.e. crack ships): Madara x Gato (nooo don't leave the blog), Tobirama x Sasuke (aged up, pls don't come for me), HiruDanzo (because I want the absolute worst for these characters), HashiMadaReto (found this ot3 on a blog that stopped being active in like 2016)

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~ Other media I've had interest in before (and might create sideblogs for who knows) ~

The Walking Dead (it was my hyperfixation from late 2022 to around fall 2023)

Blue Eye Samurai: my BES sideblog is @mizusgendermakesmeinsane

One Piece

The Boys (my hyperfixation in 2021)

Arcane

Invincible

Scissor Seven

Death Note

The Crown

Code Lyoko (did anyone watch this show in the 2000s?)

ATLA

I've listened to a significant number of episodes from the following podcasts: Behind the Bastards, Noble Blood, You're Wrong About, Maintenance Phase, A Bit Fruity

[elliegoestodownton]

Quite excited for the return of OneChicago tonight. Still watching last season properly but keeping up with it. As usual, I have my own hopes, which I don't think will have much chance of becoming true but one never knows. A couple of reflections on spoilers I have read for Fire under the cut. They're proper spoilers so don't blame me if you read them and don't wanna be spoiled.

The bad: There's gonna be a 6 months time jump. And once again we're (meaning me) being robbed of a hospital Plouch scene. I really wanted to see a bit of drama there (give Amy something to do! The woman's got acting chops, let her use them. Trudy's not a FedEx messenger! And that goes for PD as well obvs) and a sweet moment between Mouch and Trudy.

The meh: Apparently Herrmann is gonna be injured in the season premiere. Hasn't he gone through enough already? This might have potential for some drama. I just hope it's nothing major.

The meh x2: Boden is gonna experience family issues. Do not dare make him divorce from Donna! Or cheat on her. DON'T YOU DARE!

The good: I am very happy Violet is going to be upgraded to PiC once Sylvie's gone. That was her initial rank, which she gave up when she moved to 51 so it only makes sense she goes back to it. She's demonstrated plenty of times she's great as a paramedic and look forward to seeing her being in charge. Also curious about new potential partners (hoping for another woman tbh).

The supergood: Mouch is alive! He lives! He's gonna be still there on the couch, dispensing sage advice and sarcasm. Hope he'll have a substantial role in the Brettsey wedding (because that's happening, right?) and obvs more Plouch!

[final-script]

Private Relationship |CL16

Pairing: Charles Leclerc x Reader

Sumary: Both value their privasity but are willing to sacrifice it a little.

Warnings: English is not my first language !!!There are probably many mistakes (I will correct them later).

Pic: Pinterest

------------------------------------

From the moment they met and knew, that what was forming between us was very real, that is to say that it was not something temporary, they made the decision to live the relationship privately.

The world knew that the Monegasque driver was in a relationship, but they had never seen the girl in the paddock, or that's what was believed because luckily they were good at getting out of the cameras.

There were some pictures of both on their social networks, but they were pictures that didn't reveal much, just two people hanging out.

6 months later, they were both ready to show a little more to the audience.

If they might not have shown their whole face in a picture before, they will start doing it.

If they ever walked in the most discreet way they could, they would now be ready to be photographed by the paddock photographers and fans around them.

They would still leave things private, but they were ready to show off a little more.

(…)

Holding my hand tightly, Charles and I first entered the paddock together, obviously attracting the attention of many.

I was sure that in the time we walked from the entrance to Ferrari hospitality, more articles had been written about us than I could imagine.

But it didn't bother me, I knew that presenting us in this way was something that would happen.

Pierre who knew what we would do today, even when he saw us, he smiled at us.

P- But look at nothing else, Couple of the Year!, I can finally stop hearing Charles complain that you're in the garage with him. Mocking his friend.

CH- shut up you want!

Y/N- Don't pay attention, one day it's our turn to bother you.

For a moment the Frenchman erased his smile, causing us a laugh.

We arrived at our destination and Pierre continued on his way promising to meet us later for dinner.

CH- You wait here and then we go to the garage?. Arriving to an area quite familiar to me.

Y/N- It's okay. Kiss me the tender way and leave me alone.

The loneliness didn't last long as Isa Carlos' girlfriend came to me as we waited for our guys.

I- I said I wouldn't believe it until I checked it with my own eyes. Giving you a loving hug. -I am glad that you have decided to take this step.

Y/N- Believe me too, I may not say it but I know how much it needs me close and I don't talk about being here, you understand me ?

I- I know, with Carlos at first it was the same, that's how good communication is. I smiled and gave him the right.

A while later, both boys appeared in the signature racing monkey.

Greetings to Carlos who was also very happy about the stance Charles and I were taking.

The 4 of us walked to the garage where Charles showed me where I could sit.

CH- Win this race for my #1 fan.

Y/N- And I will support you as your #1 fan.

We kissed and went to prepare for the race that wasn't long before.

I had no idea what will happen from now on, but I was willing to stand by her side and see what life brings.

We love our privacy, but occasionally showing it's not so bad.

---------------------

ANOTHERS

First Moments - Mick Schumacher x Reader

The First I Love You - Lewis Hamilton x Reader

-------

@zhours @laura-naruto-fan1998 @alwayzbeenale

If you want to be tagged in my next F1 stories, just send me a direct message.

[krastbannert]

And one more for the ultimate ship meme. Zutara.

Ah, Zutara.

Just kidding - sorry, I couldn't resist. It's my responsibility as a Maiko shipper to regard your heathen lovely ship as my arch-enemy.

(Okay to those people reading this who ship Zutara, and don't know me: I actually am joking. Just having a little fun.)

General:

Rate the Ship - Awful | Ew | No pics pls | I’m not comfortable | Alright | I like it! | Got Pics? | Let’s do it! (I actually do like it; I'll admit that sometimes I get tired of seeing constant ZK content, and I'm much pickier about ZK fics in general, but I like the ship) | Why is this not getting more attention?! | The OTP to rule all other OTPs

How long will they last? - So, the way I normally think about Zutara, it happens in one of two ways: a hard and fast burn with a less-than-stellar ending (I think them being exes-turned-best friends is hilarious), or they get together when they're older, after Aang and Mai are gone, and live out their golden years together. So, in canon, it's either a few months, or in the years until their death. I could see them working well together fairly well in an alternate universe, though. (The other sections of this ask assumes this AU version because fuck it, I can).

How quickly did/will they fall in love? - It took them a hot minute to get there; years post-war. I figure maybe in their early-to-mid 20s. They were best friends for years before that.

How was their first kiss? - Probably frustrated, mostly with each other. They're each dancing around their feelings and one of them just says "fuck it" and plants it on the other.

Wedding:

Who proposed? - Zuko would, eventually. He'd definitely give Katara a beautiful betrothal necklace, and make a lovely proposal under the Southern Lights, or maybe in the Crystal catacombs (first place they saw the good in each other).

Who is the best man/men? - Same answer as I did previously: Sokka, and Aang would be one but he's helping Zuko's former crewman Koji officiate.

Who is the braid’s maid(s)? - Probably Toph, Suki, and Mai (yes, I know this might sound strange, but think about it: Katara and Mai being best friends? Hilarious.)

Who did the most planning? - Probably Katara, she seems like the type to get really into it.

Who stressed the most? - Zuko. He knows that Katara loves him.

How fancy was the ceremony? - Same answer as my Maiko one: I figure they'd have 2, 1 public and 1 private. Back of a pickup truck | 2 | 3 (their friends, Hakoda & Ursa (are they dating? Maybe), Iroh, Gran-Gran & Pakku, and Zuko's old crew) | 4 | Normal Church Wedding | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Kate and William wish they were this big (they're royalty; huge wedding is required)

Who was specifically not invited to the wedding? - Um. Well. Ozai is pretty obvious. Other than that...I really can't think of anyone. Jet, maybe, if Katara and he never make up post-war (although I like to think they would, eventually).

Sex:

Who is on top? - Katara's often on top.

Who is the one to instigate things? - Hmm I feel like it would be Zuko. He can't resist; Katara's just beautiful.

How healthy is their sex life? - Barely touch themselves let alone each other | 2 | 3 | 4 | Once a couple weeks, nothing overboard | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They are humping each other on the couch right now

How kinky are they? - Straight missionary with the lights off | 2 | 3 | 4 | Might try some butt stuff and toys | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 (they like to change things up a lot, keep it fresh, and with two benders...well, they have to put their abilities to use, you know?) | Don’t go into the sex dungeon without a horse’s head

How long do they normally last? - For some reason I get the feeling they'd do a lot of quickies, so that's the norm, but when they want to go all night? They really do go all night.

Do they make sure each person gets an equal amount of orgasms? - Okay, I feel like the answer for all the ATLA guys is the same: yes, they damn well do.

How rough are they in bed? - Softer than a butterfly on the back of a bunny | 2 | 3 | 4 | The bed’s shaking and squeaking every time | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Their dirty talk is so vulgar it’d make Dwayne Johnson blush. Also, the wall’s so weak it could collapse the next time they do it.

How much cuddling/snuggling do they do? - No touching after sex | 2 | 3 | 4 | A little spooning at night, or on the couch, but not in public | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They snuggle and kiss more often than a teen couple on their fifth date to a pillow factory.

Children:

How many children will they have naturally? - I feel like they would have at least two (Izumi, because of course, and I like the common headcanon of Kya being one), and I could see them having 1 more.

How many children will they adopt? - I could maybe see them adopting a kid in a modern AU, but in the canon timeframe I don't think they adopt any.

Who gets stuck with the most diapers? - Zuko might be the Fire Lord, but the wife is still the boss. Zuko's busy but Katara makes sure he does his fair share. (He wants to do his fair share, he just gets lost in the work sometimes.)

Who is the stricter parent? - I feel like Katara would be, publicly, even Zuko's actually the strict one. Katara doesn't mind the kids getting into a little trouble, she just wants them to be safe.

Who stops the kid(s) from doing dangerous stunts after school? - Katara. Zuko's getting in trouble with them because he's doing them, too.

Who remembers to pack the lunch(es)? - Servants do it. Modern AU is probably Katara who does it more often; she's a night owl so she's up, anyways. Zuko does it, too, though, he just has to beat Katara there.

Who is the more loved parent? - Honestly, it's about equal. Katara and Zuko are amazing parents, and their kids know it.

Who is more likely to attend the PTA meetings? - Uh both, honestly.

Who cried the most at graduation? - No matter who you pair him with, it's gonna be Zuko, I swear. He can pretend to be a bad boy all he wants, but he's a softie. (Katara totally cried, too.)

Who is more likely to bail the child(ren) out of trouble with the law? - Zuko's the one who got them into trouble. They don't get caught when it's Katara leading them.

Cooking:

Who does the most cooking? - Probably Katara; she teaches Zuko a lot, but he just can't get Water Tribe food right (he inevitably adds spice to it), and Katara loves her WT food.

Who is the most picky in their food choice? - Katara because she can't quite handle Fire Nation spice. She doesn't mind low-to-medium levels, but Zuko likes the spicy stuff and Katara thinks he's out of his mind. (Azula agrees.)

Who does the grocery shopping? - Well, servants do it in-universe, but in a Modern AU it's probably Katara, and she brings Zuko out whenever she can.

How often do they bake desserts? - Katara has a sweet tooth, especially when pregnant.

Are they more of a meat lover or a salad eater? - Zuko is all about the meat (Sokka really approves of this), and Katara likes salads as a side, but she loves meat, too.

Who is more likely to surprise the other(s) with an anniversary dinner? - Zuko, probably, since he's a sweetheart.

Who is more likely to suggest going out? - Katara. She's not very familiar with the Fire Nation, especially at first, so she really enjoys going out and walking around.

Who is more likely to burn the house down accidentally while cooking? - Considering Katara is a waterbender and can pull water from almost anywhere, it ain't gonna be her. So, Zuko.

Chores:

Who cleans the room? - Servants, most likely, but they both clean when they can.

Who is really against chores? - They're both just kinda used to it, so they don't mind too much.

Who cleans up after the pets? - Servants, probably.

Who is more likely to sweep everything under the rug? - Between them, probably Zuko.

Who stresses the most when guests are coming over? - Katara; she wants to make sure everyone's taken care of. (Zuko's almost as stressed because he's an awkward potato.)

Who found a dollar between the couch cushions while cleaning? - Katara. She invested it. Made an absolute shitload of money. Now she's in charge.

Misc:

Who takes the longer showers/baths? - Hmm I figure it's probably Katara. She likes the water.

Who takes the dog out for a walk? - Katara, same reason as in "more likely to suggest going out".

How often do they decorate the room/house for the holidays? - Katara loves decorating, and she never got much of a chance to as a kid - life was always about survival in her tribe - so she decorates for every single holiday, Water Tribe and Fire Nation.

What are their goals for the relationship? - Grow old. Be happy. The usual.

Who is most likely to sleep till noon? - Katara, the resident night owl.

Who plays the most pranks? - Hmm between them, I get the feeling it would be Zuko.

[niawritess]

The Lovestruck~Chapter 30

(18th December)

6 months later.

Black gown around you and black cap in your hand while you stood in the hallway of your college, roaming your eyes around with an overwhelming feeling and a sad feeling growing as you realized that you won't be coming here anymore since it was your graduation day today.

"Y/n!"

You looked at the direction of the voice to see Ria with her camera in her hands as she gestured you to pose which you did by making a peace sign and smiling joyfully.

"Woah! That came out great!" She gave you a thumbs up. "And now you're not shying away, huh?"

You just smiled, shrugging and saw your other friends coming behind her as they all aproached you standing in their black gowns and caps.

Oh, you were so going to miss them.

Rowoon heaved a sigh. "I can't believe, we're already graduating."

Sooyoung clicked her tongue. "Why are you talking like we're not going to meet again?"

"Right?" Mark spoke."We are going to meet occasionally but still I'm going to miss you all."

He hugged the both girls which they reciprocated and then to Rowoon who instantly put a cringed face making you all laugh before he hugged you.

"Hands off my wife!"

Everyone startled at the voice and you both pulled away to see your one and only Boyfriend standing in a white knitted sweater and jeans while a bouquet in his hands as he made his way towards you frowning at Mark.

"Y/n, You're already married." Rowoon gasped and you shook your head before Baekhyun wrapped his arm around your shoulder. "Consider us married."

You just rolled your eyes smiling while your friends were contemplating at what reaction they should give this gentleman beside you. Suddenly, Ria raised her camera causing you and Baekhyun to smile at her where she took a picture and then her camera's angle went behind you.

You all looked behind to see Chanyeol aproaching with a bouquet in his hands and Ria kept snapping his pics until he was standing infront of her. They were exchanging those shy grins and looks as he handed the bouquet to her while you all were standing there with a weird look on your face.

"Excuse me? We're here too." Sooyoung spoke looking done with the couple and they chuckled looking back at you all.

"Anyway," Baekhyun started as everyone looked at him."I hope you guys have a great life ahead and Thank you for taking care of my Y/n."

You looked away from them getting all shy while they groaned before Ria spoke. "It's our cue to leave."

Baekhyun chuckled. "I like you for being quick-witted."

She gave him a look playfully before they all walked away to the hall where the graduation ceremony was being held.

"Happy graduation day." He held out the bouquet and you stood infront of him taking it smilingly. "Thank you. So, you made it."

He nodded. "I had to, I don't want to get beaten up by my girlfriend."

You hit his arm playfully with your cap as he laughed before you tilted your head creasing your forehead. "Isn't it wife?"

Baekhyun put a surprise expression. "Right!"

You chuckled before hugging his waist and placed your head against his chest staring outside before feeling his arms wrapping around you as he kissed your hair. "What's wrong?"

You closed your eyes sighing. "Just thinking about how much I am going to miss this place and it's making me sad."

He hummed caressing your hair. "I know this feeling very well and it's okay to be sad since this day won't come again. But you know, someone said this to me, that it's the way of life."

"You live in the moment of present and it becomes a past memory to reminisce." He trailed off to pull away as he wore you the cap before cupping your cheeks. "So, let's cherish these moments together."

You giggled nodding. "Wow! That someone must be genius. Who's that?"

Baekhyun chuckled raising his brows teasingly. "My wife."

"Alright. Let's go! " You laughed as you linked your arm around his and walked towards the hall.

_____________

You were standing outside with your classmates, friends and your professors for a group picture while your female classmates were squealing to see Baekhyun standing there at the side with your parents who arrived after him.

"Okay, throw your caps in the air when I count to three."

As the countdown was made, you all threw the caps in the air and the moment was captured before you took some pictures with your parents and friends.

Chanyeol who went to attend an important call, came back and then you friends took a picture in a group with your boyfriends. Lastly it was you and Ria, the forever besties, you both kept making weird faces while taking the pictures making everyone laugh.

Not long before, your friends were busy got busy with eachother while you and Baekhyun decided to take last tour of your college. You were passing by the garden area where Baekhyun instantly stopped as his eyes spotted the spot where you always sit and the night of the event came across his mind which made him smile remembering it.

You, on the other hand, were recalling the days where always sat with Ria and then glanced at Baekhyun to see him smiling which made you confused. "Why are you smiling?"

He turned to you and chuckled shaking his head leaving you even more confuse before he looked up at the window of the music room where he would always look at you from. Shrugged off his thoughts, he pulled your perplexed figure with him to the Basketball court, from where he actually began to know you more.

"You know," He trailed off as you looked at him to see him staring at the bleachers side before he pointed towards it. "You were sitting right there when I got to know know about you studying in the same college as me."

You smiled. "You still remember it?"

"How can I forget that?" He chuckled, roaming his eyes around the court, the days of him with his friends playing freely flashed infront of his eyes before he took the ball in his hand and threw it in the basket making it perfect score.

"I want to do this too." You jogged towards him taking the ball and attempted to throw it but it bounced away making you pout sadly.

Baekhyun chuckled coming behind you as he made you hold the ball before instructing you. "Bend your knees a little and let your shoulder relax, then focus on the target and throw it."

You nodded understanding and did as he instructed before throwing the ball and surprisingly it went in.

You gasped. "It went in!"

He giggled behind you caressing your hair. "You're a fast learner."

You shrugged, smiling before he wrapped his arms around your waist as he placed his chin on your shoulder. "So... We're graduated now."

You let out a hum nodding where he sighed. "I think we graduated too early."

"Why?" You questioned confusingly before he he turned you around, still holding you still. "We could've spend more time together here and do other things too."

Grasping his words, you smiled reaching out to wrap your arms around his neck. "Well, we could have but this is not bad too."

He bit his lower lip, nodding. "I think I'm still thankful for Ria to take you here for the basketball game that day, if it weren't for her, I probably wouldn't have known about you studying here."

You tilted your head, thinking. "You're right, actually you should be thankful for her."

He rolled his eyes before slightly tickling your waist causing you to squeal as you pushed him away playfully while his laughter echoed in the silent court.

And that's how your day came to an end with your last day of college.

________________

( 26 December )

8:42 pm

Sniffing, you fixed your beanie before fishing your hands in your black thick jacket pocket since it was month of December and the cold was increasing more. Walking through the cold path from your home to your usual place to meet Baekhyun who seemed to be already there as you can see his broad back sitting on the bench. Smiling you advanced towards him carefully not to make any noise and wrapped your arms around his neck from behind where he flinched causing you giggle.

"Hi." You put your chin on his shoulder as you felt him relax before he turned his head to give you a light smile while wrapping his hands around you wrists pulling you closer.

It's been a week to your graduation day and tomorrow was an important day for Baekhyun as the game he and his employees have been preparing, was finally going to be presented tomorrow.

"Don't think about it too much, it's going to be alright." You tilted your head to peek at his face who was lost in his thoughts staring ahead.

He nodded. "It's just...we have been preparing for months now and the day is finally here, so I'm just really nervous."

"It's okay to feel like this." You caressed his cheek with your thumb making him close his eyes. "You've been preparing for this day, so it's normal to feel nervous. But don't let your nervousness take over your confidence because I know and I believe you're gonna do your best."

He smiled at your words before looking at you. "You think so?"

Kissing his cheek, you smiled. "I know so."

He giggled kissing your palm before resting his temple against your cheek while staring ahead. You heard him sighing constantly making you worry as you couldn't see him like this.

You smacked your lips. "Baek, get up."

He frowned. "What?"

"Get up and let's go."

"But why? And where?"

You clicked your tongue. "Don't be an Ajjusshi, and let's go."

Baekhyun rolled his eyes. "This girl seriously! If you don't stop calling me that, I'll start calling you Ajjumma."

You raised your eyebrows amused and looked at him. "Try it then."

He stared at you before opening his mouth but closed it instantly as nothing came out and pouted looking away.

You giggled. "I knew it."

He huffed, cutely standing up. "Just you wait, after our marriage I'm going to call you that."

Your brows knitted as you both were making your way to his car. "No, what if our kids start calling us that."

He laughed. "Wouldn't it be great? Instead of calling mom and dad, they'll call us Ajjusshi and Ajjumma."

You face palmed your face. "God, I can already imagine you spoiling them."

"Hey! I won't!"

"Ugh, I don't know! Gimme your car keys."

Pulling over the car around the nearby park before you glanced at Baekhyun who was just staring at you with a confused look which made you chuckle. You unbuckled your seatbelt and motioned him to do the same where he sighed but did as you told him without questioning.

Taking off your beanie, you scrunched your nose as your hair fell over your face before pushing the strands away and Baekhyun giggled helping you with it.

"Come on." You brushed your fingers through your hair last time before getting out and Baekhyun did the same where you dragged him to the basket ball court as he stood there staring perplexed.

"Stay here, I'll be back!" You sprinted away without letting him speak as he watched your tiny figure running away making him smile before he looked ahead rubbing his cold hands to warm them.

"Baek!" He heard your loud voice behind causing him to turn back before a ball was thrown in his direction which he instantly caught in a reflex.

"Oh~ Nice catch!" You exclaimed as he looked at you before you let out a smile. "Let's have a game!"

Baekhyun chuckled before nodding and you jogged towards him before stealing the ball from his hands then ran away giggling. "Lost one's going to grant a wish!"

Baekhyun who was still standing there dumbfounded before he turned around

"That's cheating!"

You bounced the ball perfectly as Baekhyun was running towards you and you instantly ran passed him before throwing the ball in the basket which went in causing you jump excitedly.

Baekhyun watched you amazed as an amused smile crept on his lips. "You're really getting good at this."

You shrugged sassily. "I learnt from the best."

He chuckled nodding before grabbing the ball and you both kept playing by blocking eachother or stealing the ball from eachother but you were happy seeing him forgetting his worries and having fun.

As he was about to throw the ball, you ran towards him and stole it from him laughing as he began to chase you causing you both run in the circle. Soon, you felt his both arms around your waist from behind and you lost your balance causing you both fall down lying beside eachother.

The ball was gone from your hands, don't know where and you didn't even care since you both were laughing mess with your head resting over Baekhyun's arm.

Baekhyun faced his body towards you who was catching her breath while lost in laughing and him lost in you. Soon, he came to a realization that whatever his worries were in his life, you were enough for him to make his life better and happier.

_______________

(27 December)

Next day

7:35 pm

You were standing outside of the Café waiting for your brother as Rose was already gone while you stood there facing the direction to wait for your brother's face to pop up soon. Although, you have told him not to pick you up now but your brothers and your boyfriend along with your dad didn't agreed, hence you were here tapping your foot while waiting so you can go home as you still haven't got any call from Baekhyun since his phone was switched off.

Your phone buzzed, causing you to fish it out to check where a smile crept on your lips seeing the name before picking it up but before you could answer it, his voice reached your ear. [You really don't listen to me, don't you?]

You frowned. [Hm? What?]

[I told you to wear something warm so you won't catch cold again]

You were about to reply but then it hit your brain causing your eyes to widen as you instantly turned around to him standing behind, not so far away.

Dressed in a Grey suit and a black coat reaching his thigh while his hair styled upwards making him look good than he already was where you frowned with your phone still pressed against your ear. [When did you get here?]

[Just now, but can you hang up and hug your boyfriend now?] He asked, hanging up as he spread his arms motioning you to come with his chin while smiling widely. Smiling back, you jogged towards him and engulfed him in a hug where his arms wounded around your waist sweeping you off the ground slightly.

Placing you down gently, you attempted to pull away only for him to tightened his grip on you as he placed his chin on your shoulder. "Don't, I had a very long day today."

You smiled. "You did well today and you won. I'm so proud of you."

He pulled away holding you by your waist as your arms were locked around his neck and his brows crashed. "How did you know?"

"I can see through you." You said and he mouthed your words together with you making you both laugh. "And I knew you would win. Who's boyfriend are you?"

"Oh~ Confident, huh?" He raised his eyebrows smirking and you shrugged smiling before he leaned his head forehead against yours. "And yes, we won."

"But weren't we meeting at home?" You questioned and he nodded. "That was the plan but Sehun told about the presentation on the group and now they want a treat."

"I guess my card is going to be empty by the night." He sighed, looking up and you laughed making him look at you with a playful glare before smiling. "And I can't just count you out, you know."

You nodded as you both pulled away before he looked at you up to down wearing a thick knitted sweater and jeans. "Don't you think, you're taking the winter too easily? You have made a vow to make me worry."

You frowned. "It's not that cold."

"Yeah?" He took off his coat before wrapping it around you as he took your cold hands in his hands to warm them up. "But your strawberry nose is telling me otherwise."

You sniffed, making him giggle before you held out your hand. "Can I drive?"

Instead of handing the keys, he grabbed your hand before taking a quick peck from your lips leaving you blushing as he walked ahead. "No can do, I love my life."

You snapped out before slapping his arm. "Hey!"

You were seated around a long table where your friends and Baekhyun's employees were present who went with him while others couldn't be here for some reasons. Sehun was telling how the atmosphere was serious that he almost forgot what he was going to present and how Young Joon, his employee's face was making him laugh but he didn't dare to infront of them. Their experiences were hilarious making everyone laugh at the table.

Ria was also getting along with them as how her personality is and told you that she had applied for a teaching job which she always wanted to do. You also had applied to a publishing company as you always wanted to work there.

You were relieved as everthing was going well and on the right track.

"Hyung, since we have been working without a break, give us some day off." Sehun said more like a demand and Baekhyun nodded while casually pouring you the chicken soup making you smile at his gesture.

Not others though, as Sehun rolled his eyes making you give him a boring look before continuing your meal.

"Wow, it's so pretty." Ria spoke staring outside the glass window as it was snowing and Chanyeol chuckled. "You're more pretty."

Ria blushed hitting his arm lightly making him giggle while you all stared at them weirdly before Kyungsoo. "Let me eat peacefully."

You chuckled staring outside and suddenly the day where Baekhyun confessed to you while it was snowing crossed your mind making you smile. You turned to look at him and he was already looking at you smiling as if he was thinking the same.

"Wait- what's with this staring?" Sehun asked suspiciously and Baekhyun chuckled. "It's our thing."

"Ugh, Must you do this when I'm eating." Jongin groaned making everyone laugh.

"I'm opening a restaurant soon." Kyungsoo spoke gaining everyone's attention where you all halted while the latter was eating nonchalantly.

"Wow! Really?" Ria exclaimed loudly and he smiled at her reaction while you gave him a thumb up.

"That's a good idea." Jongin said looking at him with twinkling eyes. "I have always liked your cooking.

"Deliver some to our office too." Baekhyun joked casually making him laugh and giving him a nod.

"Kyungsoo-yah, I'll eat a lot for free." Chanyeol said laughing but Kyungsoo's reply made all of you laugh. "Who's letting you in though?"

Chanyeol pouted throwing him an air punch and Ria patted his back. "Don't worry, i'll let you come with me. We'll stay hidden."

You all laughed together before Baekhyun suddenly stood up. "You guys enjoy, I have to take Y/n somewhere."

You frowned but stood up as you helped him wear his blazer and Ria awed. "Just get married already."

Baekhyun chuckled at her and you glared at her before hanging his other coat in your arms. Then he took your hand and led you outside before you both bid goodnight to them and left.

You kept taking glances at your boyfriend imersed in the driving and then outside the silent road. "Mister, we have been driving for like twenty minutes now and I'm asking this hundredth time. Where are we going?"

Baekhyun took quick glance at your confused frustrate face before looking ahead. "And I'm telling you this hundredth time that be patient, Missy."

You huffed. "You know I'm not patient."

He nodded. "Right. So, be a little patient."

You clicked your tongue huffing and leaned your head against the headrest while looking outside before your eyes widened to see the road getting dark and huge trees either side of you.

"Are you throwing me off somewhere because I have been whining lately?" You asked gasping dramatically while making a cry face before looking at him questionly.

Baekhyun looked at you and then ahead before chuckling. "Stop being cute. You're distracting me."

"So just tell me, hm?"

He sighed before looking at you as a mischievous grin crept on his lips. "You're being kidnapped, Coffee bean. Is that answer enough?"

You widened your eyes playing along. "I should call my dad this instant."

"I already told him." He trailed off to look at smirking. "And guess what? He was happy."

"So, this is what I get for being a good girlfriend?" You looked outside with a dramatic expression while Baekhyun couldn't stop smiling at you before he suddenly made a turn and entered in a place filled with trees.

Your eyes enlarged as the car halted in the middle of the forest around a grass areas and you looked at him in surprise. "You were serious about throwing me off?"

He chuckled shaking his head. "Let's get out."

You shook your head vigorously with your eyes going huge. "Haven't you watched horror movies? Mostly ghost wander in forests and the protagonists gets possessed."

Baekhyun watched you blabbering cutely and smiling, he just got out leaving you perplexed and scared before walking towards your side. You rolled down the window and looked at him fearfully. "Baekhyun come inside. What if something happens?"

He chuckled leaning down as he rested his folded arms on the window. "Don't worry, the ghost won't do anything to me when the owner is sitting right here."

You frowned but then your jaw dropped as you attempted to hit but he backed away laughing. "I hate you!"

"No, you love me."

"And why he's so right about this." You muttered huffing before he leaned down again. "And you're going to be the most beautiful ghost ever."

You looked away trying not to smile before looking at him. "And this most beautiful ghost is gonna haunt you forever."

He smiled widely. "And I would love to get haunted."

You both giggled together before he suddenly opened the door and leaned down to unbuckle your seatbelt but you stopped him. "Are you sure?"

Baekhyun frowned. "Are you sure you're a horror lover?"

"That's different!" You whined and he giggled pecking your nose before making you get out of the car.

"Why are- Wow." You gasped as you roamed your eyes around with a shocked face before it turned into an amazed one. The whole area seemed so silent yet it gave a calm feeling with the stars and moon above you looked so beautiful.

Soon, you felt his arms around your shoulder from behind making you smile as you tilted your head to look at him while your arm caressing his arm slowly.

You looked up again. "How did you know this place?"

"The day I went to meet the client and my car broke down around this area. So I roamed around and found this place." He trailed off as he his hand went to your wrist. "When I saw this place, I just had this thought. Ah, I should bring Coffee bean here."

You smiled before feeling something on your wrist as you looked down to see him wearing you a bracelet. You brought your wrist up to see a silver bracelet with your and his first names initial filled with tiny stars around.

You smiled caressing the initials softly. "It's beautiful."

Baekhyun smiled back placing his chin on your shoulder. "Since you love stars, I prepared it like this."

You frowned about to say something but he instantly came infront of before placing your both hands on his shoulders while his hands went to your waist as he lifted you up and placed you on the bonnet.

You blinked couple of times blushing before he wrapped his coat around your legs while walking towards the other side and sat beside you. Smiling, you wrapped half of the coat around his legs making him smile as he scooted closer to you.

Then something hit you. "How do you know I love stars?"

"You told me at the night of the event." He paused to look at you frowning. "Don't tell me, you still don't remember?"

You shook your head smiling sheepishly and he sighed. "I'm never letting you get drunk again."

You giggled wrapping his arm around your shoulder as always while placing your head on his shoulder before kissing his cheek taking him by surprise.

"What was that for?"

"Just, for taking me here."

You both sat in comfortable silence gazing the stars and out of nowhere, a question popped up in your head. "Can I ask you something?"

He sat up as you leaned away before he looked at you. "Let me prepare myself."

You rolled your eyes before staring at him seriously. "How did you know that you love me?"

He was taken aback by your unexpected question but instantly recovered sighing as he licked his lips. "The day when you and Ria met an accident. Your trembling voice through the phone was enough to make me go crazy with worry. And that day I realized, I loved you too much to lose you."

You stared at him amazed by his answer making you feel so lucky to have him by your side and your lips stretched into a smile.

Baekhyun tilted his head. "What about you? How did you know?"

You widened your eyes blinking and looked away before shrugging. "It's nothing special."

Baekhyun frowned. "Everything about you is special to me. So, tell me."

Butterflies erupted in your stomach by his sudden heart fluttering words and you hesitantly looked at him. "Don't laugh, okay?"

Baekhyun raised his hands surrendering. "No, promises."

"Seriously!"

He giggled. "Okay, okay!"

You sighed. "I don't know exactly when but I got a little bit jealous and that was when I realized as why I was feeling like this because I liked you."

"Wait, you got jealous?" He asked amazed before frowning. "But I don't think, I have ever hung out with girls, then who?"

You bit your lip looking away. "Um, that day when you introduced Somi to me."

He bit his lower lip grinning. "Seriously? And here I thought my girlfriend doesn't get jealous."

You sighed closing your eyes. "I shouldn't have told you, you're going to tease me forever."

"You're so right about that." He laughed and you whined pushing him lightly but forgetting your great strength which made him almost fall off the car.

You instantly grabbed his arm at the right time pulling him towards you and you both stared at each other shook before bursting out laughing.

You hugged his waist while leaning your head against his shoulder staring above. "Let's be like this, always."

He wrapped his arm around your shoulder making you both lean back against the windscreen before kissing your temple and looked up.

"Always."

__________________

@wooya1224 @buttercupbbh @jddcfc-blog @usernameloaa @gominieni @shesdreaminginoverdose

_______

[iammarylastar]

1. Alone amongst brothers.

"Cal! Hey mate where are you?" Snowballs clicked his fingers under his nose, startling him.

Bad idea. Never startle an ex cop ex Marine who hadn't slept for years.

Chris -his real name was Chris- came out of his reverie and offered a poor smile to his brothers. Obviously missing his goal to reassure his squad.

Who was he kidding?

He hadn't been here for years. For 3 years. 3 fucking years.

He hadn't been the same since he came out of prison. Since his brother, his real brother fled to Canada, to never return.

Since Oyster, his little brother killed that asshole in a bar.

Thinking about it, all this shit had started after their mother died.

Big, huge mess she had left behind.

He reluctantly came back to the world, that world without his mom nor his brother, that world where he's a useless piece of shit, forbidden to serve his country in any way.

Reverie couldn't have been more inappropriate. Living nightmare would have fit better.

"Next round on me." Jaeger announced with too much enthusiasm.

"Same?" He quirked an eyebrow at Cal, who just nodded, not bothering to say a word.

He didn't need another beer. Alcohol free. Taste free too. He'd been nursing the same bottle since he settled his ass in the bar, mind absently scratching the corner of the label with his nail.

He had been sentenced to 6 years and spent 3 at Pittsburgh Correctional Institution. He got a release, good behaviour. He'd been lucky, somehow, half of the prisoners were there because of him. Death had waited for him at every corner, but freedom hadn't tasted better.

A lot had happened in 3 years. Life had gone on whilst his had stopped behind the bars.

Snowball found his soulmate Carlo, Jaeger finally got Claire back, they married last year and were expecting their first child. Milk spawned two boys, fuck he'd been out for a long time.

Brotherhood meant leave no one behind. He had Oyster's back, he did what had to be done to save his brother from jail. Sentencing himself, ruining his own life.

He got nothing left. No wife, no family. Sure, his bros had always cared, hanging out, working out, having him in for all their kids birthdays, family barbecues, even last Christmas when Claire and Jaeger announced the good news.

They all exploded, hugging Claire and clapping Jaeger's shoulder, whooping and cheering like madmen.

He was genuinely happy for both of them and tried to ignore the stab in his guts.

For once he wanted and was in the mood to celebrate. Till his eyes landed on the blessed couple's wedding pic pinned on the wall, then spotted another showing his brothers in uniform, proudly posing with the groom.

Stab.

He wasn't there and it killed him.

Claire told him they got a seat settled in his honor and it hurt more deeply.

He had missed so many events, so many people.

Oyster.

He had spent most of his miserable life to raise his little brother -half brother but who cares?- kicked his ass every morning to have him secured at school, kicking his own ass to quit both grief and booze and pass his exams to assure them a future.

Look what future both fucked up.

If only he could have the slightest news of him, knowing his brother was fine and safe somewhere in Canada, a letter, a call, an emoji on whatever social media... but no. The cops were still looking for Oyster for Ben Daley's murder and as a cop -ex cop- he knew he and his mates have been under surveillance since day one.

Oyster had been MIA for 3 years with no chance of brightest days.

And he was left alone with nobody to care for and nobody to love.

His sentence had him kicked out from the police department, along with his staff sergeant status. No job. No rules to give rhythm to his days. No incomes but a few light works here and there in the neighborhood. The people he knew always put in a good word about him and hopefully people didn't ask for his criminal record before hiring him for fixing their roof, painting their fronts or uprooting a tree stump.

Yeah he had a lot to add to his resume: by-the-book cop, dauntless staff sergeant in the Marine corps, 2 rounds in Iraq, baby sitter and groundskeeper. Impressive.

"Man, look at this chick over there." Milk nudged him. "She's been eyeing you like she's willing to drop her panties for you."

Cal finally lifted his eyes and glanced at the girl in question. Thin, sexy, a blouse full of goodies, gaudy red lipstick, prying eyes.

Maybe he needed to get laid. He hadn't had sex since he came out of prison. His mates planned a party to celebrate his freedom and got him a working girl for the occasion but he wasn't in the mood.

He hadn't been interested in sex, not after what has happened in prison, not even a quick handjob while watching a porn. No. Scratch that. He's been forced into lame and painful wankings when his balls threatened to explode, but it was no fun at all. Far, far from it.

A slight nausea invaded his throat of the reminder and he forced the thought out.

Double sentence. If he hadn't suffered PTSD after what he did and witnessed in Iraq, then he got his trauma.

He might never use his cock again. Playground out of order. Broken.

"Nahhh... She looks cheap. Guys I don't need another blind date, you know. Your Tracy girl was crazy, she scared the shit out of me with her earlobe-licking... fetishism." Cal rubbed his earlob with a disgusting frown on his face, having all his skwad laughing out loud, wiggling all tongues out.

"Listen Cal. You need to get laid. You need a good fuck to come back to life. You're hot stuff still, you just need to pick up some gorgeous chick and have some fun! Before your dick just deceases from dehydration." Jaeger joked, hilarity ensued.

He looked around the crowded bar, tired. Tired to pretend he could be interested in that kind of date.

He didn't need a one night stand. He didn't need some cunt to fuck. He needed someone to love. And be loved in return.

Like the ol'time when he lived with his mom. Or with Oyster. He needed someone who cared.

"Thank you guys but I'm tired. I better go home and get some sleep. Need to wake up early and..."

His lame excuses got cut off by an angry Milk.

"Oh yeah, because you do have so much to do tomorrow, don't you? Cleaning up the house and walk Mrs Riley's pet? That's why you're leaving your brothers now? Cal, when are you going to get rid of this shit and be alive again? It's been 3 years already, move on for fuck sake!"

Cal didn't blink. He deserved to be scolded by his gang. He's been no fun, nothing more than a burden for them. A big piece of shit, whining about all he'd lost. Poor thing. Soon he'd lose them.

He was whining again. He's got the best friends he could dream of, people he could call his brothers, who were totally devoted to him, heart and soul.

His family. His home.

Those guys made it all easy for him while his time in prison. Paying him a visit each week, twice a week when they were off. They paid for his lawyer, his loan for the house so he wouldn't be homeless when he got out of prison. So he didn't have to break into his savings and get ruined in 6 months.

They did it in a heartbeat, without thinking nor asking for his permission. They told him it was the right thing to do. The same way Cal had them home, safe and sound after their tour in Iraq. Beside Jaeger's leg, abandoned there. How guilty he had felt, and still.

He owed them... everything.

He leant on his elbows and rubbed his face. He considered staying and trying to relax and have some fun, but his mood was definitely shitty.

Time to shake his thoughts and his big ass. He survived the war, survived in jail, he could survive this night.

"OK fuckers. But I don't want to bury my future here." He emptied his drink, slammed it loudly on the table.

"Let's get home and shake the walls!"

He grabbed his other beer and clinked glasses with his mates, and chugged it whilst his bros cheered and downed their own drinks.

"Last one at my mailbox is a loser!" Cal jumped on his feet and started running through the door.

"Ohhhh, you bastard!" Milk shouted, running after him, quickly followed by an enthusiast Snowball.

Jeager rolled his eyes and took out his wallet to pay the bill. He wouldn't win anyway, his fucking metal leg was no match for those big machines.

The three guys were messing around by the front door, playfully wrestling to pass first.

Cal jammed Milk's head in between his bulging biceps and disheveled his neat hairstyle, having him struggling even more for his freedom, grunting with rage. Snowball was stuck against the wall, the two heavy guys struggling were keeping him to head towards the door.

In a joint effort to get free, Snowball and Milk pushed Cal with all their strength until he popped out like a Champagne cork, sent flying against the wall. Just as the door opened on someone coming in.

Cal ended up glued to them, pinned on the wall, crushed against his broad chest.

"Whoah, whoah, whoah! What the hell?" A muffled voice came from underneath Cal's body.

"Holy shit, I'm sorry!" He apologized, peeling his body from a smaller and thinner one.

His hands flat against the wall, each side of a face. A beautiful face. Still blurry, he was too close to focus.

Never too close... he thought. Her smell itself made him stop.

"I'm sorry!" He uttered, forcing a step back. Finally able to focus on delicate features.

"I'm fine, I'm fine...uh, hey... I'm Jessica. " She said in a big grin as she rearranged the strands of hair away from her face.

"Nice to meet you..." She started, inviting him to introduce himself.

"Milk, nice to meet you gorgeous." The bastard spoke first, getting on Cal's business, more than happy to embarrass his mate.

"And this is Snowball" he continued, shamelessly stepping on Cal's toes and bluntly pushing him to the side.

"Ma'am!" Snowball bowed before an amused Jessica, glancing at the three boys with a smirk. "Please, accept our sincere apologies. I hope this giant idiot didn't hurt you when so roughly trying to get your attention."

Jessica let her eyes wander at the big stud's body and face, making sure it didn't turn into a stare. The man was built like a brick house, huge arms, solid chest, his short hair suggested he was a cop or a soldier, his handsome face obviously annoyed by his friends' demeanour. His gorgeous self nodding his head while pressing his so soft looking lips together. She felt her heart stop and her inside melt when they locked stares. His blue eyes were captivating and something slapped her in the face. Through his hilarious expression and attractive features, he looked so... sad and lonely. So much she wanted to pull him in in a hug and never let him go.

She forced her eyes back at the two dummies still making the show for her.

"And this!" Milk nudged his pal, "this is Chris Callahan, the man you need.

The thoughtfulness itself, well, when it's not nearly killing you, this guy is not only strong, courageous and handsome, thanks God he's also single."

Cal wanted nothing more than vanish from embarrassment after getting rid of that motherfucker of a so called best friend. On a definitive way.

But the more Milk was blurting his shit out, the more Jessica looked amused and kind of interested in him.

Eyeing him. The cutest smile on her lips. Which she bit when she finally was caught staring.

"This big sweet heart is to take darling, and you'd be a fool not to try your luck with him."

Milk got a little closer and lowered his voice "I heard he's got amazing skills, like... look at the size of his feet!"

The 2 guys barked a laugh, clunching at each other while Cam just chuckled and sighed, more uncomfortable than ever. Jessica shared the guys big laugh then winked at Cal, before glancing down to judge their size by herself.

Milk wiped the tears from his face, oh Lord he loved making fun of his mate so very much. Calming down his panting, he stepped back, still hooked to an exhilarated Snowball.

"If you want to excuse us mylady, we're up for a male race contest, where the loser will have to walk butt naked the entire week." He said, bowing out at Jessica, then stepping out of the bar with renewed loud laughs.

Cal just shifted uneasily on his spot, figuring out a way to stop looking like the dumbest guy on Earth.

"Sorry... That was... pretty awkward, wasn't it?" He shyly tried, mentally kicking in own ass to not have found something clever to say.

"Found it very funny actually, you guys made my day!" Her genuine smile cheered him up a little.

"Those guys are total weirdoes, please do not believe a single word of what they say." Cal flashed one of his best smile, pretty sure it would work for him.

"Seems your friends think very highly of you. The resume they made of you is quite appealing, you know." She made it sounds like a joke but couldn't help wondering about that nice guy, nice looking guy all in embarrassment in front of her.

And the size of his... feet.

"Yeah... Well, wait to meet them once they're not drunk and you might hear a different story." Cal shoved his hands deep in his pockets. Looking so cute.

"So... Cal, I'm looking forward to hang out with your smartass group of friends, and hear all kind of stories about you, I bet each more embarrassing than the last!" Jessica's fingers were playing with a strand of her hair against her will, flirting.

And it seemed this didn't get unnoticed, by the way Cal's stare lingered on her delicate features.

"I... I've got to go and look after those drunken asses before they get into more trouble. I won't stop hearing of it if I don't beat them tonight. It was so nice to meet you and again, apologies for so rudely bumping into you."

Chris scratched the back of his neck, torn between two options. Stay and risk to embarrass himself more and more, or leave and risk to never see her again.

"It's OK, Chris I'm fine. We would find a way to make it up for nearly knocking me down earlier. Go get them, we could meet another time. I'm new in town but I'm here for some time, let's catch up later!"

Chris chuckled, mumbled a cocky "sure!" through an enormous grin, dared to throw a wink at her before turning heels and walked out of the bar.

"I hope you lose!" She shouted at him as he reluctantly started to jog towards his mates.

"Thank you...?" Chris turned to face her again, walking backward, wearing an astonished expression. That was not the kind of support he expected.

"I may not know much about you, but I figured seeing you walk up the streets butt naked could be fun!"

Chris couldn't help the large grin taped on his face to turn into a big smile, that charismatic pant-dropping smile that had been MIA for years was finally back.

As he jogged back to his drunken brothers, in absolute no hurry, a light in heart, he felt like that stupid smile wouldn't leave his face for quite a while.

[malexfan10]

Now that my anger has calmed down.....

We got a season 2 renewal!!!

I can't say how happy I am about that. To get the renewal so soon after that wreck of an episode last night means everything! If we had to wait a whole month.....

Trusting the writers to fix what they broke is a whole other thing after that finale. But it can go two ways.

Either they completely decide to screw everyone over and have M&M be endgame (if Michael says 'I never look away' to Maria I will be completely done with it all) or they will test the waters with M&M and when they decide they've had enough, break them up and have Michael go back to Alex. I'm thinking scenario 2.

Now how should this all play out? It sucks that we even got a triangle to begin with and the fact that Michael said 'I never look away' and then ended up looking away to Alex's best friend no less brings my anger back from last night. The fact that Alex was sitting there waiting and wondering, looking at his watch, sad and alone while M&M was happening is not a visual I will forgive the writers for anytime soon. To top that, this ending made Carina happy if it ended there? That still puzzles me. Seriously, lady?? BUT what's done is done. Can't change the past. We can only hope that season 2 is not a terrible shitstorm like last night was.

So how can this all play out? Will Alex be waiting in the sidelines, depressed and upset, watching his best friend and true love across town being happy? I hope not! If they have M&M explore a relationship for half the season or even the whole season, then Alex deserves to move on as well. Do I still want Malex to be endgame? You betcha! But both sides to that relationship deserve happiness, not just Michael. If they can't have it with each other right now because one side has decided his happiness lies elsewhere, then Alex deserves the same treatment.

The last thing I want is for Alex to take that rejection as a sign and shoot his walls back up. He has done amazingly in terms of growth this season and I need his character to keep growing. The boy deserves so much happiness! So does Michael after all he's been through but because he chose Maria and because I dislike the triangle and how those M&M feelings came out of nowhere, he's not my focus right now.

Should a new relationship for Alex be with Kyle? I love that dynamic and I don't want anything to mess with that. Plus, in terms of where they are with each other, there is still so much healing that needs to be done. These two were probably best friends as kids. I love Kyle a lot but you can't fix that friendship overnight. Little by little, they've been making wonderful progress so I want that friendship to flourish next season and an added complication of a relationship won't exactly help. If Malex were completely done, I'd be gutted but I would change my tune on Kylex. But for now, let Alex be with someone new.

All of this is if they keep M&M together for half or most of the season. If it's a one or two episode storyline, then I don't want Alex getting involved with anyone else. But they put the effort to push this triangle so unfortunately, it doesn't seem likely that they will abandon M&M that easily or anytime soon.

Michael and Alex have been through so much in 13 episodes, together and apart. It's why we love their characters and storyline as much as we do because we feel for them and our hearts hurt seeing them tortured. Michael was always searching for a family, for a sense of belonging and when he found his mother, she was taken away in the most cruel and tragic way. But all these people around him see him as family too. They care for him from one degree to another. He's been through a lot on the show but he still has such a huge capacity to love.

For Alex, he started as an abused, scared, gay teenager terrified from his father's actions into choosing a life he never wanted for himself. Did he end up enjoying the Air Force? I think he did because like he said, it felt good winning battles. But at what cost? He put his life and happiness on hold for 10 years and lost his leg in battle. He's the definition of pain and suffering on the show but despite it all, he has always maintained this incredible kindness in his heart that is unmatched.

Alex started the season closed off and unsure and the journey he went through was beautiful to see. He found his inner strength, he faced his demons (Jesse) and he started forgiving those who had hurt him by seeing who they are now (Kyle). He finally reached a place where he wasn't terrified to open his heart to love again. That scene with Michael last episode? That was so pivotal to his storyline. He showed Michael how important he was to him, not just through actions, but through words. Words that have been lacking between them for so much of their history. He was willing to stay and die with him. He wouldn't have been able to have that moment with Michael at the start of the season. Where he was and where he ended up showed the biggest growth from all the characters in my mind. It was easily my favorite personal story arc of the season. Sucks how that growth got spat on last night but it doesn't take away from who Alex is now.

Do I want to see Malex be separated? No, I love them wholeheartedly. I haven't been this invested in a TV couple in a long time probably since Pacey and Joey back in the day. Oh, just a side note - Carina mentioned how she wants Michael to be the Joey Potter of Roswell. Giant No Thank You to that idea. As much as I love DC and PJ, the way Joey ping-ponged between him and Dawson was just ridiculous, never knowing who she wanted until literally the final episode of season 6. That is not what I want to see for Malex. Hope she changes her mind on that idea quick.

But anyway, with Michael choosing his version of a happy ending last night, then Alex certainly deserves the same. I hate that Michael chose Maria. I hate that he knew he and Alex were going to talk but he blew him off and went straight to Maria anyway. I hate that they kissed. I hate that Maria acted on her feelings knowing what Michael means to Alex. I hate that neither thought about Alex in that moment. I hate that he played the guitar in front of her. But if we're going to be forced through more M&M, then let Alex try to move on too.

I want Malex together, of course I do! But if Malex is endgame, and I think that they are, the writers are definitely not making the road easy for them or us. In the meantime, while I fast forward through whatever M&M scenes we're going to be getting, let Alex have some pleasure too. I want them to explore his family more, his mother, his heritage. Just give that boy some love and happiness please!

I love both Vlamis and Tyler equally but it shows how inexperienced Vlamis was with TV fandom. Tyler was a lot more reserved with his interviews - he'd been through it with PLL Haleb vs Spaleb. He expressed how he felt about Malex but that wasn't all he touched on. Vlamis (Oh how I still love him) was all Malex, Malex, Malex for weeks and then the shift in his tone was so obvious. He spoke about M&M a lot more towards the end. The powers that be advised or urged him to do so because everyone knew how the season was ending. But I still love him and of course I love Tyler. The Vlamburn bromance is everything.

I just want to add that Tyler's tweet today really helped heal my heart a bit. He's such a sweetheart for reaching out to the fans and trying to assure us. Knowing we have a season 2, I choose to believe him.

Sorry for the long post. I still hate how it all went down last night, how Alex was left alone and pining while M&M got together. I hate how both Alex and Maria were nothing but props for Michael's storyline. The finale felt rushed and I could probably pick only three things that I liked from the whole episode. Kyle, Liz and Max hugging in the desert and Rosa. I didn't even like that Malex scene in the trailer or Michael telling Isobel he loves Alex because of where it all went.

But now that we have a season 2, we have to look forward. I want to see filming pics and behind-the-scenes when they start planning the season. Hoping that M&M won't be depicted as some grand romance next season because seriously, what the hell? I hope that Alex can continue to grow and his friendship with Kyle grows even stronger. In the end though, I want Malex. I wanted them last night and I want them in the first episode of next season. That's obviously not realistic anymore so all I can hope is that they don't make Alex a sad, lonely, heartbroken 3rd party while they explore M&M being together. Because if they do, this fandom will seriously riot! And no more giving sacred Malex moments to Maria either. Please stop doing that. And flesh Maria's character out more next season too. Away from Michael, preferably, but more than being the bad best friend who hooks up with her besties soulmate. Like, honestly, come on. Girl's got such great potential.

In the meantime, I will bury myself in writing fanfic to tame my anger at that crap ending until season 2 🙂

Vlamburn ❤

[punkscowardschampions]

Ali & Caleb

Ali: Do we know when Carly's funeral is going to be yet? Ali: I need to come back but I don't want to pester her parents...I sent a message but no response Caleb: I did too and got nothing either Caleb: I'm feeling they dont want us to be knowing Ali: Think so too Ali: Which is rich considering Ali: Trying to be understanding but where have they been Ali: I know I was away too but Caleb: you kept in touch Caleb: they haven't met their grandchild yet, have they? That's their vibe Caleb: imma leave them in peace but its not cool Ali: everything is so fucked Ali: how did this happen Caleb: never seen my mum madder Caleb: she's not praying for them saving 'em up for indie & drew Caleb: you gotta make sure you handle your own goodbye Ali: Can't blame her Ali: thank God she and Meena were there or they could both be gone Ali: What the hell is going to happen now Ali: Yeah, I'll have to, I don't think we're getting in to the real funeral but, it won't be her anyway Ali: they don't know her Caleb: I wish I had been, caught my mum crying hard later & that was before all this Caleb: she's down to take her in but I dunno if he'll allow it Caleb: Carly's parents could take her still its mad here rn Ali: I owe her big time, I didn't know what else to do, she wouldn't go to Hospital so I can't be sorry I did it but I am sorry for the fucking trauma of it all Ali: In a way, that might be better for her, but then...they've not done a good job with Carly, have they? Would they let history repeat itself Ali: but Drew, fuck Caleb: it's all good, like nah, but as far as my mum goes Caleb: you did the right thing Caleb: I dunno man they might be feeling like they're getting a second chance with her but will it be? Caleb: you heard from him? Caleb: im blocked Ali: Thanks, I'm doubting everything I did and said now Ali: but I really tried Ali: I truly don't know what's for the best but it will have to be worked out Ali: Poor baby Ali: No, not since this whole...mess Ali: I think he genuinely feels guilt for this one Caleb: You handled shit better than I could. Better than most I think Caleb: Estou orgulhoso de ti, querida. Caleb: yeah my heart's breaking to look at her Caleb: He won't let me help him & truth be that I don't even know where to start Caleb: No idea what he wants, you know Caleb: could be what the kid needs but as easy could not be Ali: You're too nice for your own good Ali: He probably feels like he doesn't deserve it, and rightly so frankly but not going to spite Indie just to prove a point Ali: She's so innocent Ali: Oh God Ali: I'd do it myself but the social would never sign off on that Ali: who am I, like Ali: She's got family Caleb: I ain't feeling it. I'm raging Caleb: I get that I don't get to speak on it, and he's hurting so I'm not going there but I dunno how he could let her go like that Caleb: With the bab there Caleb: Shit's beyond fucked Caleb: We could try. You were Carly's family Caleb: She'd want you looking out for indie Ali: I don't know Ali: It was hard to know how to help her Ali: but he didn't even try Ali: well, from what we can see from our outside perspective Ali: she seemed to think he did but Ali: I don't fucking know Ali: It really is, thank God Indie won't remember any of this Ali: Drew will have to, and that's his punishment Ali: I asked Mum, its pretty much a no go, if she got put in the system, if none of them claimed her, then maybe, but not whilst I'm at Uni and away and I already have too many kids to deal with by standards Ali: especially for a single parent, they wouldn't favour me over a nice, older well-off couple with everything to give Caleb: She wanted to bounce so says my mum, he shoulda let her do what she needed to do, she had to be in shock having her way it went Caleb: gotta keep your babies safe they're defenseless Caleb: anything could've happened them playing at family how they did Caleb: Filho da mãe! Caleb: Okay but hear me out...what if we went at this together? Caleb: You still got your ring, you're still my missus, legal or nah Caleb: se você me tiver eu estou disposto Ali: She did, she had, she told me where she was Ali: I just think its too easy to think over all this now Ali: its plausible he was trying to keep her safe by bringing her back, its not out there Ali: arguably was safer who knows where she would've ended up Ali: its happened regardless of all the what-ifs and woulda coulda shoulda Ali: better focusing on what we can all do now, Drew included Ali: See, too nice Ali: Of course I do Ali: I still don't think it'll happen but of course we can try Ali: if it comes to that Caleb: True Caleb: He was outta his depth, feeling like he could get Carly to turn it all around, let his kid have the ma he never Caleb: It's sad man Caleb: Good Caleb: We can't worry on that yet but I've been stressing over you out there on your own Caleb: Can I hit you with another idea? Ali: Yeah, exactly Ali: Very fucking sad Ali: Oh, I'm fine, like, not right now but, you know Ali: Go for it Caleb: Try not to get vexed at me for sneaking but it's been a while Caleb: I've been hitting up job offers round you and they've said yeah to some part time things Caleb: I wanna come out, help with the kids more than ever now Caleb: What you think? Ali: You're serious? Ali: I think its the best news I've had in a long while Ali: Well done you! Caleb: what happened got me thinking Caleb: and its the only thing that makes sense Caleb: us all together, you feel me? Caleb: It won't be easy but neither is this rn Ali: I've been feeling the same Ali: but I was too scared to put it out there Ali: Family should be all that matters Ali: the rest is just bullshit to deal with Ali: the kids are going to be so excited when are you coming Caleb: my bad for leaving you hanging this long but I didn't wanna mess you around, not only with the job, you know Caleb: but my heart's sure Caleb: I dunno what I'd do if shit happened to you, cos you're my baby mama yeah, but cos you're you too Caleb: I still feel the same, not trying to change it these days Caleb: Gotta help Gus get my cuz ready to do my thing but won't take no time Ali: Not at all, it had to be right Ali: It would be all the more painful and wrong if you came and we couldn't make it work Ali: I love you Caleb: I love you too Caleb: You've been all on my mind since I last saw you and thats how I want it Ali: Wait Ali: before you commit fully I have something to tell you Ali: might change your mind, I don't know so you need to know now before Caleb: You can tell me Caleb: I'm listening Ali: [Sends bump pic] Ali: About 5/6 months Ali: Your Bday, Christmas, remember? Ali: I didn't say because Ali: Last time Ali: I've not told anyone else though, no one Caleb: Shit man! You been dealing on your own Caleb: That's so rough, Ali Caleb: You should've said, hit up your fam if not me Caleb: I get not wanting to say it but I gotta ask, was there anyone else on the scene? Caleb: I know what I think but I need to hear it Ali: It was worst for you but Ali: it wasn't exactly easy to tell them Ali: I know they were all disappointed or disgusted or whatever else valid feelings but it wasn't fun Ali: No, no one else Caleb: We gotta tell them Caleb: Mine too Caleb: What's the story? What's the doctor said? Are you both good? Ali: Yeah, my blood pressure's a bit high but to be expected, I told him I ain't got no time to chill Ali: are you happy? Ali: do you think anyone will be? or have i had one too many to soon to get the congrats now Caleb: I'm gonna make time for you to chill Caleb: Swear down Caleb: Eu nunca estive mais feliz Caleb: And they'll be happy for us too. Trust Ali: That would be nice Ali: don't think I've stopped since I came here Ali: If they aren't, they aren't Ali: Its coming, like Caleb: I'll rush through what I gotta do here, be with you sooner Caleb: More I can do to take care of the bubs the more you can have that you time Caleb: I'm not slipping on you or this baby, you're gonna be all good Caleb: Gus'll throw us a party, he misses you like I do Ali: You don't need to do that, tho no shade to your cuz but some talent you just can't teach Ali: #natural Ali: I miss him too, I miss everyone Ali: Oh shit Ali: Has anyone told Ro? Did she even know Carly was pregnant Ali: We've not spoken much, I've tried to give her space, let her live her Uni dreams Ali: Fuck Caleb: You don't need to hype me but I'll allow it Caleb: yeah no lie I'm a bit scared about heading over gotta be done for my culinary arts tho like, keep the restaurant game fresh for my fam Caleb: Oh damn! Meena maybe? I dunno Caleb: She swerves me & everything happened fast Ali: You're gonna love it Ali: I've found so many amazing places already, I can't wait to show you Ali: Even Junie's trying new things Ali: I'll have to ask her, God I hope so Ali: If not, oddly maybe it'll be best coming from me? Seems wrong but Ali: she knows I was friends with Carly Caleb: That's my boy 💪💚 Caleb: I'm excited too, trust Caleb: yeah we all felt the love Caleb: Hope she didn't hear it from the wrong peeps but it'll be what it is Ali: I dread to think how fast the rumour mill be spinning Ali: Wankers Caleb: Least she got that distance Caleb: You're the furthest and closest Caleb: I hate that it's gotta be this way for you Ali: I'm just glad I got to know her Ali: I was lucky enough, none of them were so Ali: say what they like, they did when she was alive, like Caleb: I should've known her better Caleb: I knew what Drew was doing Ali: We all did Ali: what could we have done? stop him? stop her? Ali: they both made choices, even if they were poor ones, or made not in their best state and mind Caleb: True Caleb: I let him make a lot of bad choices, shit went on too long Caleb: It's not on me to pull him back anymore I got focus elsewhere Ali: You can't blame yourself for him Ali: its his to shoulder Ali: yeah, a lot of bad shit happened to him but, he's made a lot of it happen since Ali: not his excuse of a Ma Ali: she's not been around for a long time Ali: Meena still manages to be good and do the right thing, y'know? Caleb: Exactly Caleb: He's grown now and he needs to act it more than he's been Caleb: There are two kids in this Caleb: Behaving like her isn't what he wants but we can't do the changing for him Caleb: It wasn't on Carly to help me out with that either Ali: Right, though, clearly he won't acknowledge Edie unless I'm dead Ali: Fucked up thing to say but more fucked up that its real Ali: I know Ali: but she loved him, she wanted to Ali: he shoulda treated her so much better, she gave him everything she had and for what? Caleb: over my dead body would he mess that kids head and life up if you weren't here Caleb: it's not right Caleb: I don't feel I know him nowadays Ali: I know Ali: you're a better Dad to her than he could ever be Ali: just the truth Ali: I know Ali: its a shame but you and your fam have done all you can for him Ali: can only wait and see what he does now Caleb: I'd adopt her but I'm hoping against hope he'll wanna be her dad Caleb: But if not now when like? Caleb: Now he's got to take care of Indie alone that's the excuse he needs Caleb: shit man Caleb: he doesn't deserve either of those girls Ali: She'll know Ali: we don't need a piece of paper to make it official Ali: she feels the 💚 Ali: No matter what happens, we have to look after Indie too, okay? Ali: Make sure she's good Ali: Promise Caleb: I promise you Caleb: nothing's gonna happen to any of these kids on my watch Caleb: she'll feel the love too, all we've got Caleb: 5 babies or 15, gonna keep my word Ali: Same Ali: we're not doing a bad job, are we? Ali: I don't want to prove everyone right Caleb: We've been slipping but it'll be all good when we're together again Caleb: Better with you than without Caleb: And we've always done the bubs right no matter what Ali: Yeah Ali: You're right Ali: haters got me trippin' Ali: don't tell Caleb: I'll pick you up on the quiet Caleb: when you going to the doctors again? I'll time my trip so I can be with Ali: its not 'til next month Ali: so that should actually work out reasonably well? Caleb: Fated Ali: if not its only a checkup so its chill Ali: but we can aim for it Caleb: Sooner the better for me Caleb: Don't tell the kids I wanna show up and see them lose their shit like on the vids Ali: That will be too cute for words Caleb: forreal Caleb: Imma try and get Junie on the songs cos I got my girls to help me Caleb: he's already a chatterbox we halfway to it Ali: they've learnt this Malay nursery rhyme Ali: its sick, they're so good at it Ali: I'll let them show you when you come Caleb: they can teach me Caleb: gimme a leg up Ali: Yeah, and Mandarin Ali: like, you'd get along fine with English but its so much more fun and just respectful to try Ali: I want them to learn as much as they can whilst we're here Ali: and wherever else we end up Caleb: I feel that Caleb: I got an app on my phone but with everything that's been going down I haven't tried Caleb: Sampled some fusion cooking tho which'll be sick now I've got more peeps to get stuck into eating it Caleb: Getting a belly here Ali: 😍 Ali: oh I've missed you Caleb: won't have to for much longer 💚 Caleb: i'll be counting down them training days honest Ali: speaking of Ali: gotta run Ali: got class in an hour and best believe i need all this time to get those kids out the door Caleb: oh I be knowing Caleb: go get your genius on Ali: talk soon ✌ Ali: love you Caleb: te amo 💚💙💜

[liv-healthy]

Hi! I just found your blog and wanted to say a massive well done at all your hard work! You look so much happier in your progress pics, it must be a great feeling :) I wanted to ask (although don't feel pressured to answer!) because you mention you're open to discussing mental health, do you have any tips for dealing with MH stuff while trying to create a healthier attitude to food/excercise? (1/2)

(2/2) A couple of years ago I experienced a psychotic episode which it’s taken me a long time to recover from. I’ve worked really hard on a lot of aspects of recovery (I’m back in education doing my Masters!!) but there’s still a part of me that maybe feels I don’t deserve to feel good about myself? I still shy away and feel so negative about myself, which I know is not a healthy mindset and something I want to change. I suppose I’m having trouble getting started again….Anyway, don’t feel any pressure about answering! Your blog is a fantastic motivator and you should be so proud :)—————–I don’t think a lot of people realize how much physical health correlates with mental health. They are so deeply intertwined and it’s hard to have one without the other. Poor physical health, especially when it comes to being severely overweight or underweight is often a direct symptom of mental illness.  It’s so important to take care of both, but while there’s a lot of guides and information readily available for taking care of your physical body - it’s a lot harder to find solid information out there about caring for your mental health. Before I say anything else: 1. Nothing beats having a good doctor (or in some cases - doctors) and a solid treatment plan which may include different types of therapy and medication. 2. I am not a doctor, so everything I say is from my own personal experience.  Anyway, now the disclaimers and stuff are out of the way for anyone else who might be reading, I just wanted to say thank you for writing and sharing a bit about your own experience. I showed your messages to my boyfriend, and the first thing he said was, “Wow, that hits really close, how are you going to answer?”It’s interesting that you ask me this now, because exactly one year ago today I was in a psych unit at a local hospital. I was admitted into the hospital when my psychologist didn’t think I could keep myself safe. If you read my chart for the reason I was admitted it would read, “Severe mixed episode with psychotic features.” It was one of the worst experiences I’ve ever had, and it kept me exhausted for months and months and months afterwards. It left me very unsure and heavy with doubt about everything, especially myself. I isolated very very deeply for a long time. I think I can understand and relate to how you’re feeling, and it’s something I am still continually working on myself. A few things that have helped me change my mindset:  1. Be as consistent as possible. Knowing what I’ll be doing day to day is so helpful. Creating a sustainable routine really helped stable me. 2. Having some sort of support. I am incredibly lucky to have such an understanding, supportive boyfriend. He is well aware of my mental health issues, has gone out of his way to research and learn about them, lets me feel however I feel while making me feel safe and supported, encourages me to do things that are good for me, is always on my side etc. If you don’t have someone you can lean on I would suggest looking to see if there are any support groups in your area. I used to go to Depression and Bipolar Support Association (DBSA) meetings for young adults and I found that very very helpful. They don’t force you to share, even just listening to what other people are going through is helpful if you’re not comfortable at first. 3. Surround yourself with positive motivating people, if it’s hard to find this in person even a positive online community is beneficial. Such as the fitblr community! Otherwise joining a fitness group, taking a regular exercise class or learning a new sport can also be a good way to meet positive people who value health and have similar goals.4.  Get involved in external things. Seriously. If you tend to isolate like I do, you need to break out of it even though I know it’s incredibly difficult. Human beings are very adaptable though, things will be hard and scary for a while, but the more you push yourself to do it anyway the easier it becomes until it’s no big deal. In addition to some of the external things I mentioned in number 3, you could also take an art class or maybe join a volunteer group. 5. I work hard to hype myself up about what I want my life to be like/feel like, the sort of person I want to be. Having dreams and goals and doing a little something to get closer to them everyday makes being alive feel good. Create an exciting vision of your future, then look and see what small steps you can take daily to get there. Set relevant goals, etc.6. Good role models! Having positive role models is so helpful! Whether it’s someone in your own life, a blogger/vlogger, a cool celebrity etc. If you see someone and you like their vibe, it’s totally cool to try and emulate that a bit. You are your own person, but it’s awesome to be able to look at other people and instill some of their good qualities and characteristics in yourself. People who genuinely make you feel good. I don’t mean someone you’ll compare yourself to and make you feel worse. I really like people like Iskra Lawrence and Mindy Kaling particularly for myself. 7. Avoid negative influences and media at much as possible. Things or people that support or promote unhealthy thoughts or habits, fuck that. Other than that, like I mentioned earlier I follow my doctor’s orders. I go to my therapy sessions and I take my meds. Anyway, I hope there was something helpful that can be taken away from all this. I know it’s super long. You should be so proud of yourself for not giving up and getting back to your education. I myself am starting at Penn State to finally get my BA (in psychology no less) in fall after like four years away from school, so I totally feel that. It’s so exciting! You’re going to do so good, your struggles will make you stronger as you continue to overcome them, and you will deserve all the good things to come.

[j2madhatters]

Alrighty, so. I don't know if you ever got my ask (from last December I think) about Jared being less active on SM (I'm not judging, only noticing) and looking sad during the few appearances and photos we had since the announcement of Genevieve's pregnancy, because of all the bearding. He seemed very happy at HousCon so I thought he was doing better but I'm beginning to have doubts. I'm all for couples not spending all their time together but it seems strange to me (1/?)

that Jensen attended SNS last night while Jared was in a club. They rarely spend time apart. (I thought I saw a post saying Genevieve and his kids were at Vegas too (can’t find it anymore) but I doubt they were with him at the club so it still doesn’t make any sense to me.) What worries me though, is not so much that they were not together, but Jared’s behavior. In one of the pictures taken last night he seems to have an injury on his right hand, like he fought with someone. And then (2/?)

there’s his tweet. I’m not gonna give my opinion on whether or not I think what he did was right or wrong, that’s not the point. But he’s aware of the shitstorm that followed the last time he did this. And if I know one thing it’s that Jared is not a bad person, so for him to do something that may cause hate toward him or someone else is, for me, a sign that he’s not alright. (¾) 

I feel that something is off. I don’t even know where I’m going with this ask but I’m really worried about Jared to be honest. But maybe I’m also reading to much into things. I don’t know. Anyone else has that feeling?

I’m sorry, but I just have to thoroughly disagree with most of this, I think you’ve maybe missed a few things? and are making more out of the J2 drought than is there. I’ll try to address all your points:

1. Yes, they’ve had to beard it up a tiny bit and at least appear to be apart but, really it’s very little bearding. It just seems like a lot without our usual flood of J2 to balance it out. But it’s mostly been mentions, or photos of Gen without Jared (the last one he tweeted of them together was December, November on IG), or old photos (Gen’s collage).

2. They haven’t actually spent all their time apart, as evidenced by the girl who saw them last month in Van shopping and being silly together, they’ve just kept it on the down low. I firmly believe the only “Gen” in Hawaii with Jared was Jensen, since only one fan mentioned her by hearsay, Jared never mentioned her, and didn’t post any pics with her. And we just found out at VegasCon that J2 spent the Superbowl together and, apparently, they’ve been practicing the ‘pen pineapple apple pen’ dance together. Also, J2 just had a week off in Austin together before VegasCon, then both stayed at the Bellagio in Vegas and flew back to Vancouver together today.

3. Jared has only attended the SNS twice IIRC (three if you count Jailbreak), so it’s not strange at all that he didn’t attend this one. IMO, he doesn’t attend them because TPTB frown on it since J2 just can’t help themselves (Jensen literally serenaded Jared at SFCon 2015 and JIB 2016, and Jared felt Jensen up at PhoenixCon 2016). And Jared seems to enjoy the gambling and crowds of Vegas far more than Jensen does, Jensen is rarely seen out and about there.

4. The last three conventions, some desperate het has posted about seeing Gen there, yet no corroboration, no details, no other sightings, no photos, nothing. I don’t believe any of them.

5. That’s a stamp on his hand, not a bruise. If you look at the photo in full size, you can see that the man behind Jared (right side of pic) has the same stamp in the same place.

6. I’m not going to cover Jared’s tweet, Admin N did already and did it very well. I’ll just say that I support Jared’s right to the same inherent rights that I have as a citizen of the US, that being famous does not make him less of a human being or more of one. It also doesn’t make him magically perfect, and I don’t hold him to higher standards than I hold myself (aka another human being).

Sure, he’s undoubtedly under a bit of extra stress here and there. Having to pretend you’re not with your SO when you are, and having to pretend you’re with your beard when you’re not, has to be annoying at the very least. Plus, new babies are always stressful, no matter how joyful, and the show seems to be trying to find a balance between emotional/physical episodes (that we know drain on Jared, he’s spoken about it) and appropriate time off for both of them. However, I don’t think anything “is off”. -Admin D