#they don’t have claritin in arulen

[arulens-least-horny-jongleur]

today i am absolutely crying with laughter over the idea of rangers with seasonal allergies.

sniffly, sneezy, miserable rangers who get sinus headaches and avoid people as much as possible so they don’t lose their “rangers are black magicians” rumours due to a poorly stopped sneeze giving them away.

terrifying rangers who lose their voices and sound like they’re chewing gravel when they demand bandits put down their weapons.

rangers who look constantly furious because their eyes are dry and blurry so they’re glaring and squinting at everything but can still somehow hit targets with their arrows.

and then it rains, and the pollen gets mostly knocked out of the air, suddenly the rangers with allergies are all back out in force, and rumours begin to not commit crimes on rainy spring nights, least the rangers somehow invariably discover you and hunt you down with supreme vengeance.