#they deserved an update and I made them even hotter

[fl0pera]

and here we have Evan's mom 🚨milf alert🚨

[macabr3-barbi3]

New Love, New Skin (Chapter 5)

I realized I hadn't updated this fic since June and the brain worms finally decided to start earning their keep again!!! Just so y'all have an idea going forward- we've got 5 more chapters in this fic, which will land us just before the events in Heart Reset. Then we move on to 'Memory vs Time,' which will be from Kora's POV and give us a little more of her backstory and her side of things before we move past the events of the oneshot and onward💕 Thanks as always to my love @fraugwinskaFrauGwinska for her love and support (and the awesome banners she makes for me out of the goodness of her heart 😭) Also: you can see the playlist I made for this fic and series here!

Chapter 1 📺 Chapter 2 💛 Chapter 3 📺  Chapter 4  💛 Chapter 5

January 1960

After this year’s extermination, Vincent made plans to take Kora somewhere nice. It’s not any sort of real anniversary- though he realizes he’ll have to figure out when exactly they had started officially dating, so he wouldn’t miss the real thing- but it had been officially two years since they had met, since she had rescued him from the streets and gotten him on his feet. She deserved to be treated, to see how those that looked down on them lived.

It would, hopefully, be a nice little sneak peak into the life that he wanted her to have- the life that they would have, if he could keep his head in the game like he planned. Vincent was making headway at the station, finally actually on the screen with Rich and Joy. Sure, it was as a meteorologist, and his lines every day were, “it’s hotter than Hell; watch out for that acid rain!” But it was something. It was progress. That was what mattered, and the slight pay bump he had received was fantastic as well. His savings were untouched, growing steadily at one of the least shady (and least robbed) banks in Hell; he wasn’t doing quite as well on the ‘one year’ plan he had set out on, but these things took time! And he was happy to take some time off to spend with Kora, to thank her, to show her how much she meant to him.

She was everything. The reason for his drive, why he worked so hard, why he wasn’t rotting away in a ditch somewhere with a still busted screen, instead getting to come home to this beautiful woman in their cozy apartment where he was happy and safe. He would do anything for her- a nice night out for dinner would just be a small token of his affection for her.

When Kora came home from Viv’s and spotted him still on the couch, her brow had creased with concern and she was immediately on him. “What’s wrong? Are you sick? Can… can a television get sick?” She worries her lip between her teeth, running her hands along the sides of his screen. “Do you feet hot? I can’t tell.”

“I’m fine, Goldie,” he tells her, and takes her hand in his to press a kiss to her palm. “I asked for the night off to take you somewhere- if you’ll come with me, of course.” He flashes her his smile- his real one, soft and sweet, not the one that he used for the news that was wide and would make his face hurt if he had a real one. “Got a special evening planned for us.”

She eyes him in suspicion. “Really? You’ve been kind of tight on spending lately- not that there’s anything wrong with that!” She assures him, stepping closer to drape herself across his lap. “I just don’t want you to waste money on me-”

“It’s not a waste,” he immediately interrupts, and he can hear the click of her teeth with how fast her mouth closes. “Really, baby, it’s not. I wanted to treat you- you deserve it. And it’s been two years since you pulled me out of that scrapyard so, it’s kind of a special occasion, yeah?” He pulls her closer so her head is resting against his screen, the heat of her breath fogging the glass. “Let me do something nice for you tonight.” Forever, his mind corrects, but he doesn’t want to spring that on her so early into their relationship.

Kora smiles, the lines under her eyes crinkling as she does. “You’ve convinced me,” she says, pressing a kiss to his casing. “Where are we going? Somewhere nice?”

“Upper Ring, baby- I’m taking you to Dante’s.” It was one of the higher class places in the Pride Ring, where Overlords held meetings on neutral ground and the security was tight, and the chaos of Hell around them was left at the door- he had practically begged Rich to vouch for him when he made the reservation, needing personal references before he would even be allowed within a mile of the place, and Rich had done him one better by offering a reference for Kora as well. 

She does an excited little dance in his lap, twisting to face him properly. “You really broke out the big guns, huh? I’ve been looking for an excuse to wear this dress Eris gave me- but you’re sure it’s okay to spend that much money on a date?”

“I had to pay to make the reservation, sweetheart; we’re not backing out now.” He pulls her closer, chest pressed to his and letting his tongue trail softly along her neck- she shivers in his arms, adjusting her seat in his lap to settle more comfortably against him. “We’ve got a little time before we have to get ready,” he murmurs against her throat. “How about you let me treat you a little more?” He runs his hands down her sides, slides one up into her hair to pull her into a kiss- when she nods her affirmative, he stands, wrapping her legs around his waist and carrying her to the bedroom, depositing her onto the bed where her hair fans golden across the sheets. She lifts her hips up, slowly shimmying her bottoms off, and reaches to twist a hand into his shirt.

Vincent wants to spoil her. They could fuck now, but this night was about her,  what she meant to him, what he was becoming for her.

Her eyebrow quirks when he drops to his knees, rising up on her elbows to look down at him. She can’t even get a question out before he’s ducking his screen between her thighs, pulse pounding at the cry of his name as he circles his tongue around her clit and sucks. His cock throbs at the sweet sounds that she makes for him, but he ignores it in favor of holding her hips down with one hand and using the other to slide a couple fingers into her wet heat. Kora clings to his arm, her own claws scratching tiny marks into his skin as she’s overwhelmed by sensations while he fucks her on his fingers and tongue.

He keeps an eye on the clock, and keeps her on edge for a while- bringing her right to brink before easing off. She’s cussing above him when he finally pulls back and presses a kiss to her thigh, glaring down at him with glazed, teary eyes. “Keep in mind where your throat is,” she remarks, “because if you don’t make me come I’ll strangle you with my thighs, and the reservation won’t do us much good.”

“What a way to go,” he says with a dreamy sigh, leaning down to nip at her sensitive nerves- she jerks in his hold with a halfhearted pull at his hands. “But don’t you worry, baby, I’ll get you there.” And he’s back to the task at hand, careful of his claws as he crooks his fingers and sucks harder, wishing he had hair she could yank on as she came with a low whine and her fingers scrabbling at his casing. He cleans her up with his tongue, licks the remnants of her release from his fingers while holding her gaze, pleased when she finally flushes and looks away.

He makes a show of looking at the clock, like he hadn’t known exactly how long he had the whole time. “Look at that! Just enough time to get around, who could have guessed?” He stands, holding a hand out to his girl to help her up on her unsteady legs.

“Wait, let me-” She reaches for his zipper and he stops her, threading his fingers through hers. “Vin- let me do you, please?”

And it’s hard to tell her no when she makes that fucking face, but they had a schedule. If he let her get a hand or a mouth on him, it would be blown to shit. “Not yet,” he tells her, and lands a kiss on her forehead. “You can ravish me after dinner, okay? The cab is prepaid, we have to be out the door by nine thirty- and even though you’re perfect as is, I know you think you need time to get ready so I accounted for that.”

He can almost feel plastic melting inside his screen with the smile she gives him. “Maybe if I’m quick enough we’ll still have an extra minute,” she offers, squeezing his hand before she steps back and heads towards the bathroom.

Something Vincent was thankful for since coming to Hell was that ‘getting ready’ for him took a lot less time- without hair, the time it took to head out the door was cut in half. He had been horribly vain about it when he was alive, meticulously grooming it, going to the barber every other week to maintain the shape and length. And he missed it sometimes, but he couldn’t deny it made his life a little easier at times like this. He stepped into one of his news suits (borrowed from Rich until he could justify buying his own), laced his shoes up, and he was all set. He caught a glimpse of Kora in the bathroom mirror as he left the bedroom- she had some sort of shimmery shit on her eyelids and was lining her eyes with a dark pencil that looked like a torture device until she spotted him and stuck her tongue out as she worked. He rolled his eyes fondly and went to wait on the couch for her.

He wished he had a cigarette. He had taken up smoking at the station, stepping out when everyone else went out for a break and thinking it would be rude to decline when someone offered him one. He kept it social though, only lighting up when he was with his coworkers so that Kora wouldn’t find out about the habit. But after doing it for months the craving for one would hit him out of nowhere, when he was bored or waiting like he was now- even though he knew Kora would be worth waiting for.

Vincent had never been more correct in his life. When Kora stepped out of the bedroom she glowed; she was wrapped in fitted gold and silver, folds of fabric that reached outwards from the center like sun rays and looked stunning with the soft tan of her fur, the blonde of her hair. Thick straps came over her shoulders, a couple thin, golden chains dangling off her shoulder on either side, drawing attention to the soft curves of her. The makeup she wore was light and ethereal, her hair in soft curls pinned back with a little clip that had the sun on one end of it.

She crosses one foot behind the other, a simple gold heel that she rocks on nervously. “Do you think this is okay?” She asks, like she doesn’t look like a Goddess that had lost her way and ended up in Imp City by mistake. “I got it from Eris, it was a little too big for her- do you think it’s nice enough for Dante’s? I don’t think I have anything else that would work-”

“Kora.”

Even Vox is surprised by the roughness to his voice, and he clears his throat before he stands and approaches, gently crowding her against the wall with the bracket of his arms and brushing a piece of hair back from her face. “I need you to understand how beautiful you look right now,” he says seriously. “And I also need you to know that if the cab outside and the reservation weren’t already paid for, I would have you against this wall right now, Dante’s be damned.” 

She flushes under his intense gaze, crossing her arms in front of her chest. “You don’t have to go overboard, jeez,” she mutters, but her smile is still firmly in place as she ducks under his arm and escapes towards the door; he takes a deep breath, willing his body to get it together before he follows her into the dark outside their apartment.

Vincent fights to keep his hands off her on the drive to Dante’s, something that Kora enforces by sitting all the way across the seat from him. He’s just managed to pull her closer when the cab rolls to a stop and the driver hops out to open Kora’s door for her. He shoots the bug a glare- he was being the gentleman for Kora tonight, not some lowly chauffeur- but still takes Kora’s arm and leads her to the velvet rope in front of the restaurant.

There was no line because they didn’t allow walk-ins, the Hellhound bouncer at the front more for appearances than anything else, since everyone knew that you just didn’t mess with this place. He gives them a nod as they approach, the photos he had submitted with the references from Rich enough to verify their identities and let them into the establishment.

Kora’s gasp at the crystalline chandeliers that dangled above them was worth every penny that the night was going to cost him. The blue of her eyes fucking twinkled in the soft amber glow from the candles that reflected the lights, casting it across everyone else that dined in the building. She clung to his arm as they were lead to their booth, her smile warm and genuine and fucking perfect in it’s sincerity as he guided her into her seat. Immediately there was a waiter at their side offering them wine, which Kora gladly accepted a glass of and took a sip while casting her eyes around the room.

She looked at ease in the environment as they looked over the menu and ordered, and he wondered distantly if Gideon had ever taken her out like this; dressing Kora up when he couldn’t appreciate her beauty, just to keep up appearances for the people around them by showing off his ‘pretty wife.’ His eye twitches thinking about the bat that hadn’t deserved her, his mood easing when he reminded himself that it didn’t matter- once he had accomplished what he was setting out to do, they could be regulars here at Dante’s. He would spoil her to no end; she could primp and pamper herself on a weekly basis if she wanted to, he would take her anywhere she wanted. The power he would have once he got where he wanted to be at the station- next to Rich, in Joy’s place, or even front and center on his own- was inconsequential compared to the thought of having her beside him, taken care of, happy.

They ordered some fancy appetizer, something that Kora was resisting the urge to dig into with her fingers if the look on her eyes was any indication- thankfully she resisted, using her fork to spear the croquettes that were placed down, her eyes fluttering and a soft, pleased moan escaping her lips. “You’re sure this is Hell?” She asks him, stabbing another and holding her fork out to him to sample- he minds his teeth to avoid the screeching noise that he knows her ears are sensitive to as he takes it into his mouth, and yeah, people weren’t kidding when they said the food was good. “This tastes like heaven.”

“I’m sure you’d know all about that,” he says softly, trailing a claw down her arm, “considering you look like an angel tonight.”

The blush that takes her face over has perhaps a little to do with the wine, but it’s charming nonetheless. “You’re too sweet,” she says earnestly, and takes his hand across the table. “And you know how to show a girl a good time, because wow.” She gestures out across the restaurant, the other patrons that dined and laughed under the soft light, alongside the sweet music that played. “Come on, stop holding out on me- what’s the real occasion?”

They’re interrupted by the waiter coming over with their dinners, placing steaming plates piled high with food in front of them. He takes his time before he answers, taking a few bites of his meal- rich, decadent, everything he wanted from a meal, from life- while he thinks about the ‘occasion.’ He wants to sound genuine but not sappy, a thin line that he seemed to constantly balance on when it came to Kora. “I wanted to thank you,” he tells her, and she pats her mouth with her napkin so she can properly listen to Vincent. “It’s been two years now since that first extermination when you found me, and without you I would probably still be a pile of busted parts in the street. I probably wouldn’t have my job at the station without you helping me get back on my feet. I definitely wouldn’t be here, at a high end restaurant with a beautiful woman at my side that I can’t wait to ravage when we go home.” He releases his fork to slip his hand under the table and trace his fingers up her thigh, grin triumphant when she blushes before he backs off. “You just… you deserve so much more than Hell has to offer you- more than I have to offer you. I just wanted to show you that I’m thankful for you, and glad you’re in my afterlife- you’ve made it a hell of a lot better than it ever was up top.”

He thinks he catches the glint of tears in her eyes- fuck, fuck, had he said something wrong? Hurt her feelings somehow?- before she takes his screen in both hands and kisses him soundly. Perhaps not an appropriate display for a restaurant like this, but Vincent wasn’t going to complain right away when Kora was being so enthusiastic in her thanks. He does catch a couple whispers from nearby tables within eyeshot, so he eases her back into her seat and towards her meal. “Easy, doll,” he murmurs, and she chuckles while she brings a finger up to gently wipe the unshed tears away without smudging her makeup. “That wasn’t too much?”

“No,” she sniffs with a chuckle, “no, Vin, that was beautiful. Thank you.” She keeps one hand placed firmly in his even though it means she has to eat with her non-dominant hand, something that she manages to do rather well still. And throughout the meal she keeps releasing these soft, pleased noises- relishing in the taste of the food, the atmosphere, his presence beside her. Vincent wants her to make those sounds next to him forever; not even anything sexual, but auditory confirmation that she was here and she was happy with him.

She releases him for dessert, a decadent affair of chocolate and cream and sinful cake, and when he calls for the check she rests her head on his shoulder with a contented sigh, trailing her finger up and down his forearm and sending pleasant tingles across his skin. He pays the bill, ensuring that Kora doesn’t see how much the evening cost- it actually wasn’t as much as he had anticipated, but he knew she would still make a fuss about the number- and has the waiter call for their cab to come back. He escorts her outside, draping his suit jacket around her shoulders, and they stand there in the dim street lighting while they wait.

She huddles into his chest, her hands never ceasing in their movements as she slides them along his back, his casing, his waist. “I cannot wait,” he tells her earnestly, “to get you home and take this off of you.” He emphasizes his point by fingering the golden chains that hang over her shoulders, and she smiles brightly at him. 

“If you really can’t wait, there was a bathroom inside,” she offers, probably only teasing, and she laughs when his face glitches as he seriously considers it.

“You deserve better than that,” he tells her earnestly, and cups her face in his hands to press his screen against her forehead. The wine he’s drunk has gone to his head, everything tingly and light and radiant when he looks at Kora. “You deserve better than all of this. You deserve Heaven.”

She looks away from him, hiding her face in his chest and fisting her hands in his shirt. “I love you,” she says softly, it feels like everything in his body simply freezes- biological and mechanical grinding to a halt at the words, the sincerity that she whispers them with. “You don’t- you don’t have to say it back, I know it’s early. I just want you to know.” She burrows further into him, so all he can see is the top of her head, the little sun pinned to it on the side. “After marrying Gideon and then ending up here I didn’t think that I would ever find that, this happiness that I have with you. So thank you.” She falls silent, her breath heated through his shirt as he processes what she’s said.

I love you. I love you. I love you.

It’s not the first time he’s heard the words from a woman before; when he was alive they were usually whispered late in the night between silk sheets from someone that he had taken out a few times, and he used it as the indicator that Vincent needed to end things before they got too serious. It was usually met with a laugh or a lewd joke, so he could play it off without hurting the girl’s feelings (or even acknowledging them).

They’ve never shot through his entire nervous system before, leaving him reeling at the revelation and struck speechless.

How did she continue to do this? To catch him off guard with her words and her actions, her goodness. First with taking him in in the first place, when she could have easily left him to die; announcing their relationship publicly before he had even fully defined it; and now this, shyly declaring her feelings for him after a beautiful night out, somehow confident and demure about it at the same time, refusing to take the words back even though she had buried her face in his shirt as she said it.

I love you. I love you. I love you.

He’s saved from having to answer when the cab pulls up, that same bug driver leaping from the front seat to open Kora’s door for her. He guides her in gently, throwing a leg up onto the seat so he’s semi reclined, creating a flat surface for Kora to lay against on the drive back down towards Imp City. He runs his hands along her waist and she snuggles further into him, releasing soft breaths that tickle his neck when she exhales. She doesn’t fall asleep, but he thinks it’s a near thing, and he keeps her present with the hint of his claws through her dress as he trails them over her frame.

They head inside after he pays the driver, Kora’s arm looped through his, and he thinks he should say something as they climb the stairs, as Kora unlocks the door to let them into the cozy darkness of their home. But what to say? He couldn’t say it back- just thinking the words makes his throat burn unpleasantly, like he was going to cry if he forced them out, and what would she think of him then? But he doesn’t want to let them linger between them, unacknowledged, because what if she interpreted that as a rejection of her feelings? He’s distantly aware of her helping him remove his jacket, slipping her shoes off by the door, and it takes her saying his name a few times before he registers it and is pulled back to the moment.

“Vincent?” 

He blinks hard and looks down at her, her eyebrows creased in concern like they had been when he came home. “Are you okay? Was the date more expensive than you were planning? I don’t have much as far as savings, but-”

“No! No, you don’t have to worry about that, Goldie. The date was perfect, you don’t need to pay me back for anything. And I’m fine, I just-”

“You’re thinking about what I said.” It’s a statement rather than a question, but just like usual for his girl, she doesn’t back down from his stare. “I’m sorry if that made you feel uncomfortable. But I’ve just.” She cuts herself off, bringing her arms up to fold across her chest, like she was protecting herself. “I’ve spent so much of my life and my afterlife letting emotions just bottle up inside of me and I don’t want to do that anymore. I won’t take it back, but I won’t say it again if you don’t want me to.”

“God, Kora,” he breathes, and he pulls her into his arms again like they had been on the street. He holds her tighter than he had been, enveloping her completely and mindful of the way she shivered in his embrace. “It’s not anything like that. You caught me off guard, yeah, but that’s not- I just can’t-”

“It’s okay.” Her arms come around his back as well, a complete link between the two of them. “You don’t have to say it back- and I won’t say it again.”

“Please do.” The words spill from his mouth before he can stop them, his arms tightening around her. “It’s- I’m not uncomfortable. I like it; I like hearing that you feel that way about me, that I haven’t irrevocably fucked all of this up somehow. I just have my own shit to sort out before I can- you know. Express feelings like a normal fucking person.”

He wants to say it. He just knows that her face would simply light up with joy at him saying that he loved her back, but something dark and ugly claws at his mind and prevents him from doing it- does he love her? Surely if he did the words would just come forth, not get stuck in his throat like bad bread, thick and cloying and making him feel like he was going to choke. It wouldn’t be so hard to tell her if he did; she had made it look so easy.

Kora pulls back, looks him in the face this time with a smile so soft it makes him ache. “I love you,” she tells him again, and something whirs inside his head at the sound. Hands on either side of his screen she pulls him down, kisses the words into his mouth. “Take me to bed now?”

Vincent is looking down at Kora, spread naked beneath his hands atop the sheets of the bed, and wondering how he got so lucky.

I love you. I love you. I love you.

The words rattle off the parts and components in his head, as he takes his time in kissing her from head to toe. She sighs contentedly as he works, his fingers gentle where they touch her as he moves down her body, his lips pressed to her collar, her wrists, her navel, her thighs. His head is still a little fuzzy from the wine but even with the excitement of the night, here he knows what he’s doing. 

He lets his fingers part her folds, groaning at the slickness he finds waiting for him and relishing the sharp breath she takes in anticipation. He presses one into her, slow and deliberate the way she likes it best, before he adds another to crook against the sweet spot inside her that always makes her whine and tremble. Thumb pressed gently against her clit, he works her to a swift climax that leaves his fingers drenched, his name having never sounded better when torn from her mouth.

“Please,” Kora whines, and uses a gentle hand on his screen to try to guide him up towards her mouth. “Please, I need you.” Her hips rock against the bed, eyes glazed and needy while she looks down at him, and suddenly he can’t bear to have her gaze on him.

I love you. I love you. I love you.

He guides her to flip over, her hips in the air and her head buried in her arms as he slowly sinks into her cunt, his breath catching at the way she shakes in his hold with his cock reaching so far inside her. Kora was so tight like this, her slick walls clenching and fluttering around him with such intensity he found it hard to focus on thrusting and not just staying buried as deep into her as he could get. He focuses on his breathing when he pulls out and slams back in so he doesn’t immediately finish, determined always to make sure she got there before he did. He keeps his pace steady and his thrusts hard, muffled sounds of pleasure escaping from Kora’s mouth to be lost in the pillows.

I love you. I love you. I love you.

He leans forward presses his screen against her back, closing his eyes against the words while he fucks her, hands roaming over her body; pulling her harder into his hips, running his thumbs over the peaks of her nipples, spreading the wetness from where they’re connected to her clit to rub at the sensitive nub with care. She had come for him twice this evening already but he needed it again, the sweet clench of her on his cock when he brought her to the edge before he would allow himself to spill inside of her.

“Say it,” he murmurs against her skin as her volume increases, still stifled into the pillows- he fists his free hand in her hair and tugs back so she’s lifted from her auditory protection, her whines and cries now out in the open with nowhere to hide them. “Tell me again, Kora- please.” 

“Fuck, Vin, love you- oh God, there…” She might have been crying, likely overstimulated by the two orgasms he had already wrung from her, but her hips still rocked back against him, chasing the promise of a third. Her tail moved jerkily, pressed between them as it was with little room to move with how close Vincent was holding her. “There, there, there,” she chants as he angles her hips ever so slightly, pulling back enough that he has the leverage he needs to ram the tip of his cock against the tender expanse of nerve endings inside of her. 

I love you. I love you. I love you.

Her voice is a tethering thread to keep him in the moment as their orgasms crash into them at the same time- Kora’s cunt ripples along his length as she comes, his name a keening cry from her lips while he fucks her through it, finally spending himself with a drawn out groan against the delicate heat of her back. The rhythmic clenching of her walls draws it out, as do her soft mumbles against the skin of his forearm when they both collapse forward, her lips sweet and gentle against him.

They stay like that for a moment, stuck in the position of their frantic coupling until Kora wiggles her hips beneath him- his cock twitches inside of her, making them both gasp. “Come on,” she whispers hoarsely, and he realizes he definitely is going to owe her some sort of honeyed tea after how loud he he had made her with pulling her hair like he had. “We can’t stay like this all night.”

He nips his teeth against the back of her neck and she shivers. “Why not? Seems optimal to me- when I get hard again we can start over, and then you only have to clean up once.” He doesn’t actually think he can go again. His nerves are shot, a slight tremor to his frame that he hopes she can’t pick up on with their positioning, and the alcohol has left his system. He no longer feels tingly or buzzed; he feels raw, exposed, vulnerable in a way he wasn’t familiar or comfortable with.

He pushes it aside in favor of gently pulling out, smoothing his hand down her flank and helping to flip her over again. Her hair was a disaster from being wrapped in his fist, tear streaks beneath her eyes from the stimulation, but she’s still a vision of beauty as she watches him with softened eyes and a sweet smile. She lifts her fingers up to trail them down his screen, down his arm, to tangle their fingers together and lift them to her mouth to kiss before she gets up from the bed to clean up.

When she comes back, she’s dressed in the ‘fuck’ t-shirt, the one she had let him borrow his first night, and his chest aches at the sight of it. She clambers back onto the bed, flops herself down on his chest with a giggle and a contented sigh. “You okay?” She asks, concern lacing her voice, and he kisses her before she can ask anything further.

“I’m great,” he whispers into her hair, despite the frantic kick of his heart inside his chest. “Tonight was perfect. You’re perfect.” 

She hums happily and settles down, and it isn’t long before her breathing slows and her body goes limp against his. He extricates himself from her weight, making sure she’s comfortably settled in the bed before he goes to the bathroom.

I love you. I love you. I love you.

Finally alone, he watches his reflection- there’s a tremor to the pixels on his screen, and his breath is coming in faster. He thinks he might be freaking out a little, bent over the sink and trying to breath as steadily as he can, the sound of it a harsh rasp to his auditory processors. And fuck, he knows this isn’t a normal reaction; Kora loved him. He should be fucking ecstatic, because that meant she wasn’t going anywhere and all the hard work he had been doing wasn’t a waste, that there was something he was working towards and doing it for her meant something.

But his dad’s voice creeps back in, like it had been since that conversation with Eris. Telling him that when someone loved you, you could disappoint them. You could hurt them. It wasn’t Kora’s confession that had rattled him- it was the idea that her feelings might inadvertently turn against her if he fucked up. And Vincent would never forgive himself for that.

He watches himself in the mirror and slowly, finally, he calms. He would just have to work harder, he reasoned- if he was perfect, made the right moves at the station and got where he wanted to be, Kora’s heart would be safe. He would be worthy of her then, and there would be no risk of hurting her.

And hopefully, he could repeat it back to her.

Chapter 1 📺 Chapter 2 💛 Chapter 3 📺  Chapter 4  💛 Chapter 5

[fitpacs]

Fitpacs my beloved. qsmpblr positivity :D

Whoever calls you the sunshine of this community is so correct. in the months since the server went down you have been a constant source of positivity for all of us. You are honest to god the beating heart of qsmpblr. You help connect us and encourage us and bring us together like you always have. Even if it's just questions like 'what is your favorite qsmp character and why' to stuff like this, you open the floor and get us thinking and sharing and I appreciate you so much.

but you aren't just the heart of qsmpblr, you are also an amazing writer. From your au's to the cannon compliant they are all wonderful little peaks into the world you've created or are exploring. I love all the fluff, and sometimes I just want to watch our little family be happy and in love. I think my favorite is still 'I think your roommate is hotter' (I still remember you asking who would be in a friends with benefits with Pac and I said Cellbit. I think that was before I followed you but reading that fic and seeing that you thought it was a good idea was wild to me XD ). That whole fic is wonderful and i need to reread it soon. I also adore Diamond Blossom, every time i see it's updated is wonderful and it's a gift in my inbox.

Thank you for everything FitPacs, you are never a burden and you deserve all of the happiness and every kind message. I hope you have an amazing day <333

lills 🥺

i genuinely don’t even know how to begin to respond to this, i’ve written about four responses now and deleted them all because they don’t convey how emotional and genuinely touched this has made me feel

i’ll probably reread this ask tomorrow morning and cry but honestly thank you so fucking much for this, i appreciate you endlessly x

[serialfirstdater]

After the Sun: Round-Up #4-6 for 2022

I was told some people are still reading this blog, and considering that I have re-entered the dating scene for 2023 after a three-month break from the apps (gasp, what happened there? I will get there soon), I will update this blog with the rest of my 2022 dates. I am going to try to give snippets on everyone versus giving them full blog posts. Since frankly, not all of them deserve a whole post and I don’t have the time anymore lmao. But I want to at least document it before I start a fresh batch of dating stories for 2023 (if I can keep up).

#4: The Letter Grade Guy

I went on a date with an engineer who took me to a really nice restaurant in Toronto. I was quite impressed with his restaurant choice (Marked) and we had a really good conversation.

During the date I told him about my dating experiences and how I gauged my dates compatibility with me. He joked how even though I am not a fan of the sciences in school, I dated like a scientist because I analyzed and took data on everything (like how I’m recording my dates on this blog LOL).

Anyway, I thought it was a good first date. After the date, he texted me and asked what his “letter grade” was. He asked because he knew from the questions he asked me, I would rate a guy and the dates I go on (I personally would not volunteer the info myself!). I said something along the lines of “No letter grade perse. Thought we had a good conversation and got along. The restaurant choice was great!” I never heard from him again, LOL. I guess he didn’t like the fact I wasn’t heavily praising him, even though my comment was not negative.

#5: The No-Marriage Dentist

I matched with a guy that I thought was sorta cute from the photos. Until I saw him irl and realized, he wasn’t really my type physically (minus him being a bit taller than me and the fact that he was a dentist). When I agreed to meet up with him, we have barely spoken at that point via the apps. But I was free and down so I said yes when he asked me out.

I soon realized how incompatible we were, especially when he told me he didn’t believe in the institution of marriage. People like that, no offence but, makes me roll my eyes. If they are afraid of marriage because their parents didn’t work out, that’s more understandable. But once it gets very political, I’m out.

Either way, I knew that it wasn’t going to go anywhere. I wasn’t sure where his interests in me lied during the date but he at least knew I was looking for something different. His personality also truly irked me, a mix of condescending (or narcissistic) and socially awkward. AND he lied about his name. He claimed his name was Adrian on the apps and he even said it when he texted me. But he revealed to me his real name in person and I was immediately turned off. Apparently it was for privacy because he didn’t want to be recognized by clients or something as a dentist? Anyway, I thought that was dumb. 

He took me to a couple of nice bars though, so I will say I appreciated that at least. We never spoke again afterwards.

#6: The New Realtor

Ahhh, I feel really bad for the New Realtor (who only got licensed very recently when we have met, hence the nickname obvs). When I first met him, I was completely taken by him. I was so into him, like Cupid’s arrow. I thought he was so cute. He had a tattoo too, so I thought it just made him hotter. He also seemed like a husky fit guy too. So on our first date, I thought it went very well and I expressed my interest.

However after talking about him with my friends, I obviously showed his photo to them. The moment my best friend saw his picture, she couldn’t control her reaction and immediately went, “Ew.” My other friends were like, “Don’t say thatttttttt.”

But it was too late, it was like a seed that was planted in my head. I was convinced by my other close friend to tell him to take me to CNE (a huge fair that happens in Toronto at the end of summer every year). As a romantic, I always wanted to go on a CNE date or some sort of fair date. So I told him I was interested in checking out the CNE and he agreed.

When I saw him in person for our second date, something in my brain started turning and my interest started to gradually decline before it went full speed ahead as the date progressed. He was nice enough to also drop off another friend I was with at the CNE since she was going to see a mutual friend there. 

For the date, he decided to get us the unlimited rides, which I thought was excessive and when I later realized how I lost complete interest in him, I felt AWFUL. But I thought I should at least make the best of it, right? Wrong, I got sick after the third ride.

Maybe it’s because I was about to hit 30 but the third ride spun so much and did too many turns that I had some sort of vertigo. The New Realtor tried to be as gentlemanly as possible. Offered his arm for me to hold onto when I was dizzy, offered to get me food, still got me food when I said no and a bottle of water to hydrate with. Basically, he did everything I would want on a cute date.

However, I knew it was completely over when he tried to put his arm around my seat at a simple ride we did later and all I could do was to sit as far away from his arm as possible. When I am physically repulsed, I literally cannot change my mind. The ick was too strong and everything he did bothered me. I felt terrible.

Towards the end he kept offering to get me food but because I knew I had to reject him later, I didn’t want to take anymore of his generosity. When his car stopped in front of my place to drop me off, I immediately turned to him and went,

“I want to thank you very much for this date. You were a great guy and this date was very lovely. Unfortunately this would have to be the last date for us.”

Instead of asking why or being upset, he said, “That’s okay. Feel free to hit me up whenever you want.” He took it so well that I felt even worse for not liking him anymore!

In the end, I realized that I lost all attraction in him physically and also realized he was not as fit as I thought he was... Alas, I hope he finds a really nice girl that likes him because he would treat her like a princess. Unfortunately I was not his princess.

[roosterforme]

Is It Working For You? Part 3 | Rooster x Reader

And here is Part 3, because you are all lovely and I now have 100 followers! Thank you!

If you need to start from the beginning, check my Masterlist.

Summary: You feel bad and you should; Rooster looks like a kicked puppy.

Warnings: angst, some swears, adult banter, getting more into 18+

Length: 2600

Pairing: Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw x Female Reader

You wanted nothing more than to go home and climb into bed. You literally felt like shit. Worse than shit. You felt like a villain, and even your heart was mad at you about it. And of all things, you were shocked to realize how much involvement your heart had in this scenario. 

You leaned forward and let your head hit the desk in front of you. "All right there, lieutenant?" Maria asked you viciously. She was currently so mad at you, you could feel the daggers she was glaring. Apparently she had heard more of your lunch conversation than you originally thought she had, and she was firmly on Team Rooster.

"No," you muttered and raised your head just as Cyclone and Warlock were returning from their lunch break. It was time to get back to work, but you had no motivation. You were supposed to be going over software updates that would help the Dagger aviators with training. It was literally your responsibility to keep them safe on this mission. As safe as you possibly could. Your stomach soured even further as you realized it might be Bradley flying this course for real in just a few weeks. That was enough motivation for you to open your computer and get to work, at least for a few minutes.

Unfortunately, from your seat in the tower, you had the perfect view of all the aviators down on the tarmac as they had a meeting with Maverick before heading to their F/A-18s. There was Bradley, looking hotter than sin. But now his hair was a mess, as he kept running his hands through it, and he was sporting a frown. As soon as they were dismissed, he headed right for his aircraft and started on his safety checklist. 

The tower radios crackled to life, and Maverick announced that the next group up would be the Green Team, consisting of Phoenix, Bob and Rooster. You tried to focus on everything you needed to get done, but you could hear Bradley communicating with the tower before taking off. 

You sighed and rubbed your eyes. "You deserve to feel bad. You clearly ruined his day. And you made him frown," Maria told you in a monotone voice as she typed up an email. She was literally giving you the cold shoulder, turning away from you slightly even though she was sitting right next to you.

"You did not react like this when I turned down Jake Seresin."

"He didn't frown and look like a kicked puppy afterwards. Also, it was probably good for Jake that you did that, he seems like the type who always gets what he wants. Today, on the other hand, with Bradley Bradshaw?  What even is your problem?" she asked, glare intensifying. 

"It's not like you even know him! I barely know him! Why are you so invested?" you asked as Lieutenant Cam Harvey, your friend since your Naval Academy days, slipped into the seat on the other side of Maria.

"Because he's perfect for you! And I can tell you like him," she replied indignantly. 

Your heart bounced around in your chest. You had wanted to tell Bradley yes, you really had. He seemed sweet, and he was funny, and oh so easy on the eyes. But you really needed to focus on your career instead of giving any appearance that you were getting places by sleeping around with other officers.

"Who is perfect for her?" Cam asked cautiously, alarmed by Maria's tone.

"Rooster," she told him, still keeping her shoulder turned away from you.

 "Why don't you ask him out then?" he asked, leaning over to look at you.

"He just asked her out, and she said no!"

"I have my reasons, okay?" you told them both quietly as the flight proceedings were about to begin. "It's hard enough for women here, I don't want to make it seem like I want attention from all these pilots. I don't want to look like the one who sleeps around to get a promotion, okay? Female officers are already outnumbered seven to one, and I don't want to look like a joke. Plus, Rooster will most likely have moved on in a few weeks. He will have probably literally and figuratively shipped out. You know how these guys are. So what's the point? And if I keep it casual and try to keep it quiet, everyone will find out anyway, and I'll be labeled a slut. It was bad enough what happened with Kyle when I tried to keep it casual. So please, drop it."

Maria turned toward you sympathetically. "Okay. I get what you're saying. But, maybe he's different. I mean, you are interested in him, right?"

"Obviously," you groaned as Rooster's voice sounded through the radio. 

"Tally, tally, Maverick at eight o'clock low! Break right, Phoenix!"

"Breaking right! Talk to us, Bob!" 

You listened to the three of them try to outmaneuver Maverick, something that sounded impossible to your somewhat untrained ears. They went at it for a long time, before Maverick forced a move on them. 

"Phoenix, now!" Rooster called over his radio before Maverick got him in his sights and eliminated him. 

"He kind of sounds like a stand up guy. He just saved his teammates and their mission at his own expense," Cam mentioned as he adjusted his glasses and worked on the software protocols. "None of the other leaders have been doing that."

Of course Bradley was good to his team! Of course he was! You listened as he cheered on Phoenix and Bob as they successfully eliminated Maverick. They were the first team to do so in almost two weeks. This made you feel even worse. 

After they all landed, Bradley gave Phoenix and Bob a massive bear hug between their F/A-18s. They looked absolutely elated. And when Hondo came out to count off his push-ups, Bradley looked more than happy to do them. 

Your heart lurched as several of the other pilots cheered him on. 

Perhaps you had made a mistake. 

-------------------------------------

This had to be a new personal record, eight hundred push-ups in the last two days. But these ones felt good. 

When Bradley had twenty more to go, Bob and Phoenix joined him in solidarity. Their team had managed to finally eliminate Maverick. Sure, he'd been eliminated first, but he set Phoenix up for a massive slam dunk, and of course she followed through. And it felt fucking good to nail down Maverick like that.

"Down! 199! Down! 200! Good job, Rooster." Hondo gave him a firm slap on the back and headed back inside the tower. Phoenix and Bob went in as well. 

But Bradley needed another minute before he could stand, his arms were absolutely throbbing. As he propped himself into a seated position, he saw the next team was getting ready to take off. Distracted by this, he didn't notice you had come outside. 

"Hey, you look thirsty. Thought you might want this." You reached toward him, a cold water bottle in your hand. "And congrats on taking down Maverick."

"Thanks," he grunted, barely meeting your eyes. The elation he felt while flying today almost made him forget about his lunchtime fiasco. Almost. He drained the water bottle in one go and stood to head back to the meeting room.

You licked your lips, seemingly trying to find the words to say what was on your mind, but you remained quiet. Had you just come out here to torture him? Make him smell your sweetness over the odors of jet fuel and hot pavement? Make him look at your gorgeous face? 

Probably. You were already capable of torturing him. But that was his fault, not yours. You hadn't really done anything to deserve it, but he turned away from you anyway without another word and went inside.

As soon as he was inside, he realized that trying to hurt you just made him hurt himself more.

-------------------------------------

You spent the rest of the week regretting what you did, but as far as you could tell, there was no coming back from it now. Rooster was avoiding you at every turn. When you sat down at his table for lunch on Wednesday, he inhaled the rest of his food and then power walked out of there. And then on Thursday, you and Maria were supposed to brief all of the aviators on the updated communications system designs, and Bradley went so far out of his way to get Maria to explain it to him instead of you, it wasn't even funny.

Maybe you thought that water bottle you gave him on the tarmac was going to be some sort of peace offering, but clearly Bradley was done. And it took you until Friday morning to realize it, but he had made you feel special. Appealing, even. You'd barely even scratched the surface of getting to know him, but when he spoke to you, you knew you had his undivided attention. 

He hadn't said so much as good morning to you since Tuesday, and by Friday, you were determined to get him to talk to you. You cornered him near the door to the meeting room as he strolled in. It was like being hit over the head; it was literally absurd the way your body reacted to him. He was so much taller than you, you had to look way up to meet his beautiful brown eyes when he was this close. And you could feel his body heat. Your heart was racing.

You could tell he was trying to keep his face as calm as possible, but you could see something under the surface. Maybe he was angry at you, maybe he was still disappointed. Either way, if he avoided you when you were right in front of him, you were going to have to excuse yourself to go hide in the ladies' room.

"Good morning, Rooster," you managed, barely above a whisper. To your immediate relief, his lips quirked up into the tiniest of smiles.

He shook his head slightly as he said, "Good morning. You look really nice in your head to toe khaki today."

A laugh bubbled out of you, and his smile grew a bit more. "Don't be mad at me," you told him.

Bradley ran his fingers through his hair and told you, "I couldn't be mad at you, even if I tried."

You felt like you needed to touch him like you had at the Hard Deck. You wanted his fingers on your wrist again. But he quickly ducked around you as soon as Maverick and Cyclone walked in, grabbing a seat next to Fanboy. 

----------------------------------

Bradley wasn't sure what you wanted from him, so he would just play as nice as he could. But inside, it was a different story. He still thought about the shape of your body and the sound of your voice. He still thought about pinning you against the wall, and he wondered what kinds of noises you would make if ever you let him take you to bed. But mostly he thought about how hard it was to get what he wanted when it actually mattered to him. 

This was one of the times he hated that he had nobody to talk to about this. For a while when he was younger, he believed he would have Mav in his life for this stuff. If his mom were still around, she would have been giving him the best advice. As a teenager, Carole told him to make sure he was always a gentleman. She also told him to always wear a condom and never take a girl on a date just to get in her pants. That wisdom only went so far nearly twenty years ago, as he was a sixteen year old virgin when she died, but he did try to carry it with him as an adult.

But now he was thirty-five years old, for fuck's sake, and yet somehow too stunted to be able to figure this out on his own. What kind of adult was totally unequipped to deal with wanting to date someone instead of just sleeping with them? Maybe he went too fast with you. Maybe he should have waited awhile, got to know you as a friend first. The problem was, he didn't generally want to sleep with his female friends. And the females he wasn't friends with, well they were always fair game for a hookup. But you seemed to fall into a brand new category. 

On top of all that, his brain felt fuzzy from a long day of flying. And that's how you were able to blindside him for a second time on Friday. He had been doing a stellar job of keeping contact with you to a minimum since Tuesday, but when he exited the locker room to leave for the weekend, there you were, smack in the middle of the elevator car. And of course you were completely alone. Thankfully you only had to ride down eight floors together. 

Your face seemed to light up as he stepped inside, and you made no room to give him more personal space. So he just squeezed in next to you as the doors slid shut. 

"Hi," you greeted him cautiously as you pulled one earbud out. Bradley could hear your music playing in the enclosed space. 

"What are you listening to?" He couldn't help himself, he had to know. 

"Oh, I just have my music on shuffle. Want to listen?" 

He shrugged and you handed him your earbud. The second your fingertips danced across his palm, he wanted to push you against the elevator wall and shove his hands up your shirt. He prayed he didn't have a visible hard on in his jeans as he put the earbud in and heard the opening piano notes to a familiar song. 

"It's OutKast, but I can change it to something else," you muttered, about to tap on your phone screen. 

"No, I like this," he managed to say. Because of course he did. Of course you were listening to an album that he had in his library as well. This was torturous. 

And that's how Bradley ended up walking you all the way to your car, as you both quietly hummed along to "Roses", one earbud for each of you. The way you shimmied along to the chorus was not doing him any favors. He could barely remember why he had been avoiding you in the first place. 

"It's the red one," you gestured to your beat up little car as you unlocked it and then threw your bag on the backseat. "It's ugly, but it's dependable," you added, seemingly in its defense.

Bradley laughed, and before he could think any better of it, he asked, "Does that represent your taste in guys too?"

You looked him right in the eyes for the first time since he got in the elevator. "No, I like them pretty and dependable."

Well that probably ruled him out then, given his facial scars. He handed you back your earbud. "Thanks for the song. Enjoy your weekend," he said as he turned to leave. 

You bit your bottom lip before calling out to him. "Hey Bradley, will you be at the Hard Deck tomorrow night?"

"Uh, probably. I have a standing appointment to lose at darts," he told you with a smile and a small wave before turning back toward his Bronco. 

-----------------------

It took me awhile to think of a song with a baller piano intro that was also long enough for a walk all the way to your car.

The upcoming chapters will be longer, and there will be several of them!

Part 4 is up!

@hotch-meeeeeuppppp @swthxrry @yaboid19 @mak-32

@miles-rooster @solacestyles @avoirlecoupdefoudre

@daisyhollyxox @grxnde-dwt @callsigndiamond

[teenandbeyond]

Hi dear, may i ask for Raph x broadway musical actress reader headcannons pls? And remember to hydrate love 💗

Raphael x Fem. Broadway Reader

Thank you, you too! Edit: Honestly, I wrote this way better originally, but my computer randomly decided to update and Tumblr doesn't automatically save, soooo yeah.

Want more from me? M a s t e r l i s t 2

☆*: .｡. .｡.:*☆☆*: .｡. .｡.:*☆

🧶The Mutant of the Opera🧶

Warning(s): ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Among your admirers, there's one special turtle who's your biggest fan.

✨✨✨✨

The first thing about you that Raph fell in love with?

Your voice.

It was strong and soulful, drawing him in, but warm enough to keep him rooted one night at practice.

It was your third musical, first in New York, and you were a supporting character, so you didn't have to come every night considering you didn't have many parts.

And opening night? He was mad you weren't the leading role.

You had the looks, the voice, and the charisma.

Hence, the giant turtle currently on the roof ignoring his communication device.

He made sure to show up each night, soon coming to the roof mere moments before you appeared. He had you timed.

🎶"Lift your head up, darlin'!... Never let them see ya' down. Never be afraid of yourself, keep your feet up off the ground...as you fly! To the sky! Reach your dreams, way up high!"🎶

He hoped to see you again.

And he did, the next year, you were a main character, yet not a leading role.

He hated not being able to watch you like everyone else.

But you had such a presence, it honestly didn't even matter.

And after that musical, you had a fanbase.

Raphael created an anonymous account to fanboy with the others.

Then he was waiting, waiting for you to come back.

Then news came, you were coming to New York to stay.

You lived there now!

And a year and a half later, you got that leading role.

"'Bout time. She ain't fit for anythin' else but lead," Raph complained.

"What're you talking about?" Mikey peeked over his shoulder at the newspaper article Raph was reading.

"Don't worry about it--"

"That broadway star you have a crush on?"

Raph scoffed, awkwardly looking away, "It's not a crush..."

"Dude, you've been talking about her for at least three years. It's a crush."

"Is not!" he weakly defended.

It kinda was.

He didn't tell anyone about the magazine he stole that you did an interview in.

And he refused to actually show Leo how excited he was when he came home with a poster of you for him.

He was excited for tomorrow night, you got a role that you deserved and he couldn't wait to see you play it out.

Okay

He was not ready

Your voice sounded different, a good different like you've been working hard on it. It had a different strength to it.

You pulled off a dark, edgy look quite well

And combined with your stage presence being stronger than ever, he was quite flustered by your performance.

🎶"I might be the good girl goin' bad. Getting hotter by the degree. But this freedom makes me glad. I'm happier just bein' me!"🎶

Okay, yeah.

He could admit the dark look was hot on you.

Well, what he could see from this angle anyway.

By the time the show ended, he hadn't even realized it.

No one had, you were that captivating to your audience.

Thundering applause.

And then the musical was over.

But something, something that night had him following you as you left the theater after everyone was gone, your shoulders sagged in relief as you stopped in the alley for a moment.

"Sheesh. That was so nerve-wracking! I hope I did well..."

Are you crazy? You could've been a tree and still be the star of the show, Raphael thinks.

"But I suppose I always get nervous the first night..."

He might have a thing for your voice.

You bite and release your lip as you go into thought.

"Now I have to drink all that wine by myself, everyone kinda just dipped out on me. Even the staff left..."

And the worst thing happens.

Raphael unconsciously adjusts his footing and you hear movement.

"Who's there?"

Raph wished it wasn't him.

Your arm snapped up in defense, "I have pepper spray and I'm not afraid to use it!"

He couldn't help but smile at the cute case the painful spray was in. If not for the contents inside, it wouldn't be very intimidating.

"Come out! I know you're there! Don't bother trying to leave now!"

Fierce little thing, aren't ya'?

"I don't wanna scare ya' doll face," he graces you with a response after some silence.

"I don't scare easily, I lived in Baltimore for a while, so I've seen a lot."

"You ain't seen me."

"Try me."

He sighed, time to scare his crush.

He eased down and out of the darkness, hands up in surrender.

You dropped your pepper spray in shock.

"Well. You're right, I haven't seen someone like you, before."

Your eyes were wide, trying to process what you were looking at.

"I won't hurt ya'...I was just watching you--That don't sound right, uh..."

You tilted your head, the large man--was he a man, he seemed more like an animal...a shell, a turtle--seemed to be more afraid than you were.

"Are you male?"

He didn't expect that to be the first question you asked...he didn't expect you to ask anything at all.

"Yeah. I'm a guy, why?"

"Just checking...I...I know some animals are genderfluid or whatever. I don't know how it is for...turtles, right? You're a turtle. Not a tortoise?"

"I'm a turtle."

You blinked, "A...big...turtle. I don't remember them being that big."

"Mutant turtle, princess."

"I...see."

"You're not scared?"

"Honestly? I'm too confused to be scared at the moment."

"Suppose that's fair."

You apprehensively put away the pepper spray after eyeing his weapons. "I'm [Name]."

"I know."

"..."

"I-I didn't mean for that to sound creepy...I just--I'm a fan..."

A giggle bubbled from your chest, "You're a fan of mine?"

"How could I not?"

Then he continued to go into a ramble.

Which was flattering.

"Eh...That's so embarrassing."

"It seems you've been watching my work for a while."

"I've watched every show you've done here."

"Really? Where? I would've thought you'd be noticed for sure."

"The roof."

"The roof? You could hardly see much from up there."

"Well, I mainly just listen to ya'. I see what I can."

"Hm..."

Raphael did not expect to get a private performance in the empty theatre.

After double-checking everyone was gone and the cameras were off, of course.

You were such a doll and ordered pizza, too.

He snuck in a little wine.

No one had to know.

He'd crack some jokes in between, cutting off your singing and trading it for laughter.

"Raphael--let me--let me finish!"

He had lots of fun.

And during the ordeal...he found his heart beating even harder for you.

[heartofholland]

tom recs <3

hi guys! here is a fic rec list i made of all the fics i’ve loved. personally, i consider myself an avid fic reader so i have read a shit ton of fics. these are just my highlights. let me know if you want more like this! and if you do end up reading any of these please make sure you REBLOG them to spread the goodness. these writers work their ass off and deserve all the credit in the world. enjoy! <3

SERIES

riding my by @worldoftom this fic is barely started but i love everything this writer puts out. very smutty, very hot. innocence kink check!

breaking curfew by @wazzupmrstark ASSHOLE TOM! my weakness. enemies to lovers but make it FWB. what I wish my summer camp was like instead of my thighs sticking to chairs and lice outbreaks.

eighteen by @angelic-holland corruption/innocence kink! basically all smut but damn do i want bad boy tom.

the situationship by @fairytelling can’t say enough about this fic. the definition of falling in love with your best friend. if my relationship isn’t like this i don’t want it.

happiness is a butterfly by @blissfulparker soft mob!tom and they’re forbidden soulmates! updates are WELL worth the wait!

i only feel you by @stuckonspidey the first time i read my watch thought i was working out for how high my heart rate was. shit keeps you on your toes. there is a sequel fic but just a heads up you will want to unstan tom on multiple occasions.

make me love you by @mrs-hollandstan frat boy player tom turned soft. mans does a whole 180. fuck dom.

perfidy by @peeterparkr couldn’t be more obsessed with this fic. they’re both so fucking stupid but too afraid to get hurt. also the social media posts are so fucking cute and crucial to the story 

eloped by @worldoftom getting married to tom in the most beautiful vacation spot? sign me the fuck up

you. by @txmhoelland i think there’s definely worse men to be set up with as a PR stunt.

erotas by @farfromparker i have definely read this fic for more days than i’ve been on this earth but every time i lose my goddamn mind

dare you to move by @starksparker-archive the best version of FWB tom is when you’re his roommate…

gone by @dahliaspidey this one… hurts. but i just know it will bounce back.

take me out by @angelic-holland warning this one is really dark. like serial killers. but it was so fascinating i am completely obsessed with the psychology of it all. jake is featured and please don’t imagine the mr. music the entire time like i did </3

single all the way by @heyhihellowhatsup0 i read this whenever i need a lil christmas pick me up

sweetener by @keepingupwiththeparkers cute awkward relationship. it is so real i feel like it could actually happen to me.

ex on the beach by @heyhihellowhatsup0 THE ANGST GIVES ME LIFE

SMUT

bartender by @t-o-m-holland tom happens to own your favorite bar. your subtle flirts aren’t working. the banter between reader and the fam makes me wish i didn't have social anxiety.

siren by @rosyparkers don’t get me wrong i will scream ACAB til the day i die but police officer tom could definitely get it.

best of three by @mrs-hollandstan one of the 3000 threesome fics i have saved. imagine not getting one of the hottest men but TWO.

roommates by @hollandbaby what a coincidence we both want to fuck each other! this checks all the kinks my man. i’ve read this probably no less than 100 times.  

that was that by @moorehollandplz dom!tom but something flips and he’s never been more gentle. mans got both sides of the playing field covered.

know your enemy by @angelic-holland short but sweet. hate sex is always hotter behind the scenes.

wasabi by @angelic-holland literally everything about alice is phenomenal but this is on of my faves. when i read this it makes me feel smarter. also body shots.

say good night by @madmadmilk this writers work never fails to blow me away but this time she managed to encapsulate my entire life. (minus the execution with a very hot and experienced best friend).

buwygf-ib by @hholyholland just ignore tomdaya for a sec and take in the hottest dom!tom i’ve ever witnessed.

cocky by @sykoxartist yeah he’s an asshole but he’s your asshole. at least that’s what he thinks.

sovereign by @farfromparker sub!tom is so hot. man will beg for DAYS.

summer vacation by @kidney9-9  when is hate sex ever like…. not hot as fuck?

ride by @tomhollandsstan face riding. period.

coincidence by @starshinebucky actor!reader and tom fuck��� at least they’ll have good chemistry next time.

skin by @hollandbaby dom!tom is not ok with being a sub. unless it’s for you.

you can bet on it by @kiwi-bitchez all of this writers smut makes my pussy throb. this is my fave. just wait for the twist.

a rose blooms by @cornacopicimagines prince!tom drives me wild. but wait til he finds out you’re not a virgin.

begging by @raewritesfiction tom makes you beg for it.

self reflection by @stuckonspidey this is actual proof tom has a praise kink.

minor inconvenience by @angel-spidey toms an idiot but at least he can get you off.

flesh by @starshinebucky cocky tom kills me.

keeping him nice and warm by @marvelouspeterparker mob!tom the gif itself to sends me.

after hours by @cornacopicimagines never had sexual tension with a teacher but this will do.

ANGST

josslyn by @multiharlot messy situation but reader handles it like a champ. if your heart isn’t broken enough, the last line will make sure it’s unfixable for days on end.  

moral of the story by @kelieah listen to the song while you’re at it to make your cry sesh take a turn for the worst. 

cherry by @xoluvx this one hurts real bad. so does the song. 

a complicated love story by @samhollandssweaters an emotional rollercoaster for real.

he dies in the end by @allfandomxreader ignore the title and just cry your eyes out with me.

eighteen by @fancyxholland you’ll be confused why it’s in the angst category but trust me.

all the lies by @peteywillproceed getting cheated on but the girl is toms gf, how do you tell him. 

memories by @nycparkers i sob to this whenever i need a good cry. 

don’t be a fool by @nycparkers breakups that dont end messily make me so fucking jealous.

FLUFF

kiss currency by @madmadmilk borderline smut. confused and oblivious harrison. dialogue inspires me to talk to males.  

plank all over me by @waitimcomingtoo FILRTY TOM! THE BANTER! i really am a whore for well written dialogue. there’s additional parts but i won’t spoil.

 playing cupid by @marvelobsessedteenager you set everyone else up but wait a damn minute how did you forget about tom?

 little flirt by @webslinger-holland oh to flirt with tom while he’s sweaty from intensely dancing for the lip sync battle.

pour it out by @rhapsodyparker i don’t know what it is but famous!reader going on talk shows or having interviews and they ask the reader cheeky questions about tom might be one of my many kinks…

hubby by @t-holland2080 it’s the small things that make me want to bawl my eyes out for being so lonely.

going live by @redrebecca the dialogue makes me cry of happiness! tom doing a live (what a concept).

paddy’s crush by @tom-holland-is-spiderman jealous tom but of his younger brother.

 wannabe by @sailingintothenight the cliffhanger at the end demands a second part.

flawless by @missnxthingg  tom is a simp.

you and me by @sunshinehollandd best friend tom makes me soft.

dick appointments. web shooters. the duality of a man. by @porterporker  it gets a lil steamy but man is “web shooter” a funny name for a dick.

best day by @thollandss dad!tom gives me baby fever even though i am a virg.

 tom asks your dad by @blissfulparker can i just skip through the bad boyfriends and just marry the love of my life already.

baked chicken by @waitimcomingtoo there isn’t a category for awkward but if there was this would be in it.

lover boy by @starshinebucky  tom being so oblivious you like him that you need to call for backup.

afterglow by @wickedholland i wish someone would treat me like this when im drunk instead of leaving me to hold my own hair back.

[quirklessidiot]

title : cigarettes and parfaits [1] pairing : older!nanami kento x younger!reader [13 year age gap, ft toji fushiguro] Genre: romance, fluff, super duper mild angst, slice of life, josei, bad comedy, strangers to lovers au

Summary: you’re pretty sure you’d remember marrying a man 13 years older than you, right?

Warnings: alcohol, smoking, very,very mild smut, y/n making stupid decisions, everyones a human-au so yeh non-canon stuff and everyone’s happy (periODT BECAUSE NANAMI DESERVES HAPPINESS)

Notes: after repeatedly giving you jjk angst, i have been very happy to announce that i am able to write something fluffy now. Yay! (Anyways this is based on the manga sesame salt and pudding, yall better read that. It’s just *chefs kiss*) also this may or may not be written ebcause of the amount of smoll nanami content i’m seeing around this site hmPH 

masterlist  || taglist || [next  ; updates every friday]

The sound of your alarm blared at the crack of dawn, making you immediately jerk up in an unfashionable manner, you shouldn’t drink on Sunday nights. Good lord,  why did you even do that?-

Your thoughts are cut short though when you feel something, better yet, someone, next to you. It’s dark but you could definitely tell that whoever this stranger is, had settled himself quite comfortably by your side. You blink once then twice then slowly reached out to switch your lamp open to get a good look on who was next to you.

Thankfully, you’re still in your clothes from last night.

Also, who the fuck is this?

Your brows are furrowed together as you try to remember who this person was. Blonde hair and jaw so sharp that it could probably cut the vegetables on your kitchen counter, some fine lines littered his face as he wrinkled his forehead in his sleep.

The tie on his neck is loose as you slowly peered to observe him even more and for some odd reason that made your ears turn bright red as you check out his rather lean figure (he wasn’t overly muscular, he was just right)

“Oh shit.” You mumbled, snapping out of your daze, you had to focus! This was a stranger for crying out loud, “Who the-”

Before you could even say anything more, his eyes shot open and you’re greeted by chocolate brown eyes. You try to stutter out a reply, clearly in your frazzled state the only thing you could let out was, “What the fuck?”

“Oh, you’re awake.” his voice was deep and quite raspy, and daresay, it suited his rather sharp appearance.

Was this stranger awake this whole time that you were gawking at him under the dim light? Your ears turn even a brighter shade of pink. Was it just the heater or was this room getting hotter than it should be?

Yet despite your flustered state though, he thankfully remains oblivious, “Are you feeling any better?” he asks.

Despite his bland facial expression, there was a certain warmth in his tone and that made your heart beat quicken. It wasn’t everyday that you’d wake up to find a good looking older gentleman next to you after all, “I’m good…” You shyly replied, the confidence you had moments ago while you were cursing him was gone when you heard his soft tone, “I- sorry but who are you? What happened?”

He stares at you for a moment and purses his lips, “Nanami Kento.” he introduces himself briefly. From the likes of it, he seemed like a professional, “To be honest, I don’t have much recollection from last night due to the alcohol. When I woke up a few moments ago, you wouldn’t let go and I had no choice but to lay there and wait for you to wake up.”

You paled just a bit at his explanation and turned bright red right after, how embarrassing! Not only did you just embarrass yourself in front of this older gentleman awhile ago, you did something so unlike you last night! Thank god this ojisan was a lot more calmer than you. He didn’t even look that perplexed or annoyed by your state at all.

He runs his hands through his soft blonde hair after and lets out a low groan.

“D-Does your head hurt, Nanami-san?”

“Yes.”

“I-would you-” you tried to stammer a few words out yet you're immediately cut off by his phone ringing.

Right, boundaries. You shouldn’t overstep them since you already did so much last night to disturb him despite you two being so out of it. You watch him as he answers his cell phone in a quick and suave manner, all traces of hungover gone, “Nanami speaking.” He greets as soon as he answers the call, “I understand. Please try to help them out and I apologize for the inconvenience.”

He ends the call and stands up, tightening his tie. Despite him spending the night here, he still looked orderly and it’s so unfair because right now, you knew you looked like absolute shit with the alcohol and booze in your system.

“I have to take my leave now. I apologize for intruding.” he bows down formally.

You’re pretty sure you were the one who intruded, his actions makes you immediately stand up despite the throbbing headache which was definitely a wrong move because the moment you did, you felt your legs giving out.

Great.

“I-sorry, I would bow…” You tried to stammer out an apology, ears bright red once again, just how much could you embarrass yourself in front of this gentleman?  “Sorry for the intrusion too Nanami-san.”

He leaves without saying anything much to your relief and as soon as you hear your front door close, you scream right at the pillow.

“Stupid, stupid, stupid!” You muffled at the pillow.

Thank God you wouldn’t be seeing him ever again!

“L/N-sensei.”

You turn to find Maki and Megumi standing there, they were members of a rather elite family in Tokyo, Most often you avoided bumping shoulders with Megumi’s father since he was, well, quite a tease and although you do admit that Toji Zen’in is a very good-looking and fine man from a very good background, you couldn’t look past the fact that you taught his kids mathematics and there was a good fifteen year age gap between you two, “Hi there.” A warm smile dances on your lips, “Is this about the earlier math problem again?”

The question was directed to Maki, Megumi wasn’t one to ask questions about his lessons since he wasn’t fond of academics.

“Actually, it isn’t. Toji-ojisan says you should come to his birthday.” Maki shrugged, “He says his 40th birthday wouldn’t be complete if you weren’t there.”

Ah, that’s why Megumi didn’t want to go alone. The young boy’s cheeks are painted pink, clearly embarrassed by his father’s antics, “Ah,” You laughed, trying to play it cool. Despite his father’s relentless teasing, he had never made you feel uncomfortable. If he hadn’t been asking you out a few times, you’d consider him a friend, “Your otosan does love to joke around a lot doesn’t he, Megumi-kun?”

“I could deck him for you if you’d like, sensei. I swear that old man needs to realize that you’re way too young and good for him.” He mumbles the last part, clearly annoyed.

“Oh have you gotten married, L/N-sensei?” Maki cuts her younger cousin off suddenly, clearly surprised, “I thought you never had a boyfriend..or girlfriend...or a lover…”

“I- excuse me?” You sweatdrop, “Married, where?”

“Am I mistaken? You have a silver band on your ring finger at your left hand.” Maki points out, “Congrats sensei! It seems like Toji-ojisan won’t be bothering you anymore!”

You were too much in a frazzled state this morning that you hadn’t even noticed the ring band on your finger. You weren’t married, heck, you haven’t dated since college but where in the hell did you get this ring?

“L/N-san?” You’re snapped back to reality by a coworker, “We have two new enrollees, would you mind handling them since they’ll be added to your section?”

“Right,” You smile, “That’s my cue to leave. I’ll get going now. Enjoy your snack time.”

Before Maki could say anything more about the silverband on your ring finger, you scurried away to the faculty room, shaking that weird feeling off since you had to get back to work. 

Job first, ring later.

As you went in, two abnormally bleached pink hair stood out and you could immediately tell that they were going to be the new kids that you’d be teaching. You walk closer, realizing how much they looked alike despite the markings on the other.

“Hi, Good morning.” You greeted kindly, “You must be the new kids.”

“Ah,” the one with tattoo markings on his face gloated, “Aren’t you too bright?”

“Sukuna, shut up.” his twin frowned, “Sorry Sensei, My brother isn’t feeling so well since our ojisan had told us off before going to school.”

It seemed like the other twin would be a handful, nevertheless, you were still going to be his teacher so you let out a small smile, “It’s fine.” You waved off, “We all have bad days, don’t we? I’m L/N-sensei and I’ll be your homeroom and math teacher.”

“Hai.” The one without tattoos replied, enthusiasm leaking on his tone, “Itadori Yuuji and this is Itadori Sukuna, please take care of us.”

You watch Yuuji force his twin to bow down to show a sign of respect. For a high schooler, Sukuna and Yuuji’s parents seemed so lax, bleached hair and tattoos? That was definitely a first one on your list. You take a look at the data they passed and a small frown settles on your lips, it seemed like you had to take back the words you said earlier.

Both their parents had died a few years ago.

You cleared your throat and tried to put on the smile and enthusiasm from earlier, “I’ll be sure to introduce you to the class right after break and since it’s your first day I’ll be lax but please try not to go in late again.”

Yuuji’s grin remains the same as he agrees enthusiastically while Sukuna still looks mildly uninterested, something that you realize oh-so quickly that you’ll have to get used to.

After introducing the twins to the class, you settle on your desk at the faculty and peer at the ring on your finger. The only conclusion you could come up with was that this was from the older gentleman from the night before but why would he even give you a ring?

It didn’t even look cheap and it was surprisingly just your size, meaning it was definitely for you.

You inwardly let out a groan as you placed your hand on top of your eyes. God, you definitely needed to lay off the alcohol next time. You feel the phone in your pocket start to ring, peerlessly glancing at the unknown number. People really need to lay off the scam calls.

“Hello, I’m sorry I’m not-”

“Yo-ho, is this Y/N-chan?” The voice on the other line is so unfamiliar yet familiar at the same time.

“Uh, who is this?”

“Is your husband with you?” the voice sounds so playful and teasing that you almost ignore what he had just said earlier.

“E-Excuse me?” You sputtered out, cheeks turning red, “I don’t have a husband.”

“Huh…” the playful voice switches to disappointment, “Don’t tell me you forgot what happened with us last night, L/N-chan.”

You feel something bubbling on your stomach, oh no, this definitely didn’t sound good!

“I- wait, what? who are you? What do you mean? what happened?” countless of questions started to pile up in your head and out of your mouth, panic immediately engulfing you because for a prank call this guy sounded way too legit, confirming your irresponsibility the night before. 

“Silly Y/N-chan. How could you ever forget me? I’m such an important person! I’m Gojo Satoru, your witness from your wedding!” 

taglist (if crossed out, i cant tag u im so sorry ack ;-;)

 ; @coldbookworm  ; @frankenstein852  ;  @neavil​  ; @shephard17895​   @kristineyoshaii​ ; @airybnb​​

@Kurok1717 ;  @hcn421 ;  @shinhiromi ;  @airybnb ;    ; ​

[hlizr50]

Update: The Raven and the Songbird

Chapter 3

Read on AO3

Four days.

Four days of training with no sign of Azriel.

Four days of the pitying side-glances from Nesta and Cassian when she arrived to the ring to find that he still wasn’t there.

Gwyn gritted her teeth and peppered the post with blows from her fists and feet. She hated pity. She didn’t want it. They knew it, too. It was all she could do not to scream at them, and part of her wondered why exactly she hadn’t. A few weeks ago she probably would have. Her scowl deepened.

She punched harder.

As much as she’d denied it to the general and her friends, she was acting differently. She wasn’t upset about being spurned by a male. She had never had any claim on Azriel, never had any expectations. She was not a female that would allow a male to have power over her emotions – her very being – like that.

But she felt like she had lost a friend, and not due to tragedy or death. She had lost a friend by their own choice. She wasn’t sure how to handle that.

Had it been pity that made Azriel placate her? Is that what he had done? She’d told him that she missed him. It was true, and she had never questioned uttering her truth to anyone.

He hadn’t returned the sentiment.

Perhaps it had been pity, then. He had said what he knew she wanted to hear, enough to get her out of his hair…

“NO,” she scolded herself through her panting. Gwyn would not allow herself to go down that road. She did not need pity from herself, either. She was strong and capable and confident. She was a Valkyrie.

The dull ache in her knuckles distracted her from her rushing thoughts and the sun beating down on the training ring. It was hotter than she could remember it ever being since she’d started training – so hot that Cassian had allowed the trainees to forego the Illyrian leathers in favor of lighter, cooler clothing. A year ago the idea may have terrified her, but she had fought Illyrian warriors in nothing but a nightgown, so she graciously accepted Nesta’s offer of the light blue linen tunic that bared her shoulders and lightweight leggings. Gwyn was grateful for her friend’s consideration, even though she knew the sun would likely end up burning her rarely-exposed skin.

Another distraction. For the best.

“Gwyn.”

The priestess started as the general’s voice boomed from behind her. She turned her wide eyes to him and saw an eyebrow raised at her.

“Cassian?” She had grown increasingly comfortable with him in the months since his and Nesta’s mating ceremony. She had spent a considerable amount of time with both of them, and while she still used his title, it was usually in jest and banter. He had become a friend, something of a brother, perhaps.

“I said you need to take a break.” His eyes shifted to her hands before returning to her face. “Water. Now. And take care of those hands.”

“I’m fine -“

“You will take care of them or I will sideline you for the rest of the day, Berdara,” he spoke sternly, every bit the weathered veteran and general of the most feared forces in all of Prythian. He had mischief in his eyes, as per usual, but there was something that darkened them.

Concern.

“Yes, general,” she drawled before muttering under her breath as he walked away, “Mother-henning busybody.”

“What was that, Berdara?” he challenged over a broad shoulder.

“Nothing!” she sing-songed back to him as sweetly as she could muster, lest she not sound convincing. His wings flared slightly as he paced away, and she waited until he was halfway across the ring before she stretched out her arms in front of her to survey the backs of her hands. The fabric wrapped around her hands was stained crimson across her knuckles where her skin had surely cracked open. In multiple places.

She hadn’t even noticed.

Gwyn uttered a low curse, scowling to herself, and stalked over to the table where Nesta and Emerie were watching her. Her sisters. Regardless of whatever this storm was that she was experiencing, she knew that she was not alone. That was the greatest comfort.

“If I were you I’d save some of that aggression for someone who actually deserves it,” the eldest Archeron offered, eyebrows raised. “What did that post ever do to you anyway?”

Gwyn scoffed, looking back at the padded wood that she had been battling for Mother-knew how long before glancing at her bloodied hands. “I think it still came out on top, anyway,” she grinned, and began peeling the fabric away. Emerie passed her a basket of gauze, ointments, and clean wraps as Gwyn lowered herself to sit cross-legged on the ground.

“You… uh… you were really in the zone there, Gwyn,” the Illyrian female said as she knelt beside her. “Are you sure you’re okay?” The copper-haired priestess looked at her friend, warmth blooming in her heart when she saw the concern written across her tanned face.

“I’m fine,” she smiled brightly at Emerie and then looked up to Nesta. “I promise.”

“Regardless,” Nesta answered as she sat down with her. “Save a couple of those shots for that idiot Spymaster. That’s what I’m doing.”

Gwyn managed a laugh before returning her attention to her stinging, bloodied hands. She hissed as she dabbed ointment over where her skin had split before laying gauze over the freshly cleaned wounds. Maybe she would save a punch or two for Azriel, if she ever even saw him again.

Or maybe she would just continue to savor the distraction of the pain.

~~~

Punching something until her hands bled had proven to be an effective distraction during training.

And again that night, when her demons had chased her out of bed for the third time in five days. She hadn’t told Nesta and Emerie how bad it was getting since Azriel had chosen to remove himself from her life. They were already worried, and it was something she would need to learn to manage on her own, anyway. At least she could still go to the training ring, work herself to bone-numbing exhaustion, and then collapse into slumber for a few precious hours.

Azriel was never there.

And while punching and kicking until she was bruised and bloody bought her some reprieve from her nightmares, it was not conducive to her work in the library. Her swollen fingers could barely grasp her quill.

Definitely weapons tonight, then.

She paused, feeling her eyes prickle as she realized her assumption: that she all but planned on being unable to sleep yet again.

What a mess she had become.

Regardless of what potential may have existed between her and Azriel before, what tore at her was the loss of a dear friend, a confidant. He had seen her darkest days and nights and had never run away from her. She had tried to ignore it the first night she had sensed him in the archway to the training ring before he retreated back into the House. But he’d kept retreating, again and again.

And now he didn’t approach at all. She hadn’t even sensed or scented him in the House, ever since that day he’d assured her that they were friends, and that things would go back to normal. What a foolish hope that had been.

“Gwyneth, girl, where are those books I told you to fetch? I sent you for them hours ago!” Gwyn winced as Merrill’s voice carried through the stacks. She had known it would only be a matter of time before the elder priestess found her. To an outsider, Merrill’s voice would have sounded pleasant, but the Valkyrie heard the venomous threats underneath. She put down her quill and rubbed her eyes as the beautiful white-haired female approached her, eyes gleaming with malice.

“I apologize, sister. I have been struggling with this transcription.” Indeed, the pain in her hands had caused her to be much slower than usual. “I’ll retrieve those books for you immediately.” Gwyn moved to push herself from the table when Merrill’s soft tanned fingers yanked her bruised hand to study it, her grip like a vice. The teal-eyed priestess winced.

“Poor little Valkyrie, can barely even write her own name,” Merrill scoffed. “Perhaps I should replace you, Gwyneth. Nobody has use for a foolish girl who is too broken to look out for herself.”

Gwyn pulled her hand back, the pain forgotten after the words that lanced into her soul. It was a ‘gift’ of Merrill’s, knowing exactly what to say to cut her to the quick.

“Can’t sleep without someone to coddle you, so instead you resort to brutality. Poor excuse for a Valkyrie. Poorer excuse for a female.” How could she know?

Gwyn rose abruptly, tears stinging at her eyes. But she would not let them fall in front of the witch. “I’ll go get those books now,” she managed to rasp, before retreating into the stacks.

~~~

That night she hadn’t even tried to sleep, the scholar’s dagger-like words twisting in her chest. Merrill was right, wasn’t she? For all Gwyn had done, all that she had overcome and accomplished, she was falling apart. She was adrift, uncertain of where to turn. Nesta and Emerie would never turn away, of course. But Azriel…

It had been different with him, she didn’t know why. But the gaping wound left in his absence was proof that maybe the necklace had meant more than she cared to admit. So had not being the intended recipient. It hurt.

Losing him hurt.

And even though she had realized that day that she wouldn’t have his heart, she had hoped that he would be willing to continue with the friendship they had built.

But she had lost even that.

Gwyn burst through the door and into cold rain, steam rising from the training ring as the droplets hit the stone floor still warm from the daytime sun. She stood there for a moment, letting it wash over her. Her robes grew heavy with water but she barely took note as the downpouring cold soothed her aching hands and soul.

Robes swished as she moved to the center of the ring. She sat down and hugged her knees to her chest. Closing her eyes, she tilted her chin up, allowing her tears to fall and mix with the rain that had dulled her usually vibrant hair to a drab chestnut.

Just breathe. Let it be and breathe.

She didn’t know how long she had been there, letting the storm wash her clean, when she felt him. She had always been able to sense him, shadows or no. She faced forward, determined not to turn toward him, lest he see how weak she had become. So she simply gathered her courage and spoke. It sounded steadier than she had expected, much stronger than she felt.

“Hello, Azriel.”

~~~

He wasn’t surprised that she knew he was there. She always seemed to know, and not just because his shadows were traitorous bastards who would tend to attract her attention – seemingly on purpose.

Gwyn always seemed to… sense him.

And, if Azriel were ever honest with himself, he would probably admit that it was the same for him. She had a presence that he was drawn to.

Constantly.

The restraint that it had taken to stay in the townhouse, maintain his home base there as he fulfilled his reconnaissance missions in Vallahan and the human lands – it was wearing on him. He’d barely slept in the last week, throwing himself into his work and training when the darkness and shame kept him awake in the night. The guilt was a festering wound inside of him.

He’d told Gwyn that they were friends. That things would return to normal. And then he’d run from her like a fucking coward.

Azriel. Spymaster. Shadowsinger. Death Bringer. The lethal dark of the Night Court had run from a 29-year-old priestess who loved nothing more than to smile and laugh, whose only crime was caring for him. Five centuries of training and death and calm calculation had not prepared him for her innocence and trust. It was dangerous.

The shadowsinger stared at her rain-soaked form huddled in the middle of the training ring, shadows curling around him – begging him to go to her. Even without the moon her skin seemed to glow. It was pinker than usual, likely due to her training underneath the midday sun. His gaze drifted to her hands, long fingers wrapped under her knees. His eyes narrowed as he spied the discoloration of her skin and cracks over her knuckles. He’d assumed that Cassian was exaggerating when he had told him that Gwyn was beating herself bloody, taking out her emotions on every piece of equipment available to her.

That knife of guilt twisted in his gut.

His brother had been waiting outside his room when he’d returned to the townhouse the night before, leaning on the doorframe casually with crossed arms.

“So this is where you run off to when you have too many feelings?”

Cassian had never been known for his tact.

“I’m working, Cassian. It’s quieter –“

“Cut the bullshit, Az. You and I both know that things are quiet and that your spies can more than manage their assignments.” Azriel growled and barged through the door, Cassian on his heels. “And you and I both know that this has nothing to do with your responsibilities to the court and has everything to do with Gwyneth Berdara.”

The shadowsinger halted, suddenly finding the navy silk sheets on his bed very interesting. Anything to avoid looking at the other Illyrian in the room. No matter what mask he slid over his emotions, Cassian could see right through it. Always.

He shook his head and tore his shirt off over his arms, stalking into the bathing room without acknowledging what the general had said. “I’m exhausted, Cassian.”

“Then listen to what I have to say, Az. You listen, then I’ll leave.”

He turned back to his brother, Cassian’s hulking form taking up most of the doorway. The dim fae lights of the bathing room cast shadows that sharpened the angles of his face. His usual mischievous glint had been replaced with resolution and concern. The shadowsinger sighed and motioned for Cassian to speak before turning to lean his hands on the refreshing cool porcelain of the bathtub.

“She’s working herself until she’s black and blue and bleeding. I’ve had to threaten to sideline her twice this week, just so she’ll take a break and tend to herself. Sound like anyone you know?”

Azriel could only sigh and hang his head. Of course it did. It was exactly what he always did to work through his frustration, to battle the demons that chased him out of bed too many nights. It was the reason she had found him in the training right that first night, the beginning of that friendship he’d told her he would uphold.

“I know you, Az. I know you feel guilty for upsetting her. I know what you see inside yourself. But you need to give yourself more credit, and Gwyn, too. Whatever this is, it’s hurting you both. So stop getting in your own way and be honest with her. Both of you can have what you deserve.”

The spymaster didn’t answer but raised his head to gaze at the moonlit garden through the window. He imagined there were lovely summer blooms and leafy vines slithering around the pane of glass – a lovely view for a relaxing summer bath. Cassian’s wings rustled has he turned to leave.

“If you can’t get your shit together and come back to help with training I need to know. The advanced females are having to sacrifice their progress to help with the novices. If I can’t depend on you to be there, I’ll need to find someone else.”

Azriel let out a sardonic laugh. The general knew just how to play him, like a fucking fiddle. He could never stand a jab to his dependability.

“I’ll be back next week.”

It was that conversation that had brought him to the training ring tonight, only to find the copper-haired priestess sitting in the cold rain. Even through the downpour he could smell the salt on her cheeks.

“What brings you here tonight?” he asked, like a useless fool. He knew the reason. Azriel was not the only one with nightmares.

“Same as usual, Shadowsinger.” Gwyn’s voice was tight. “Fourth time since we last spoke.”

He inhaled sharply. It had only been six days since he last saw her, in this very spot. “I thought they were getting better.”

“They were.”

They were.

Those two words hit him like a physical blow, but the white hot brand against his soul was the implication – the words she hadn’t spoken in that voice that was too shaky and small for the Gwyn he knew.

Her nightmares were getting better. But now… worse.

He had done this.

His absence, his cowardice, his stupidity, his darkness. It was his fault. He’d ripped his support away because he was a coward, unable to forgive himself for something her generous heart had forgiven almost as soon as it had happened. She had assured him of that. The sincerity had shone like stars in her incredible eyes. But he hadn’t accepted it. She had considered him a friend, and he had abandoned her to face her darkest memories alone.

Azriel’s eyes stung with the understanding, the wretched self-loathing, and he dared a glance again at those gentle hands he longed to hold. Bruised fingers and cracked skin.

He may as well have put those marks there by his own scarred, cruel, sadistic hands.

“I thought – maybe I just hoped – that I’d find you here one night.”

He swallowed the threatening emotions and could only manage a rasped, “I had work to do.”

“Of course.”

She saw right through him. She always had. Panic and guilt and grief rose like a tidal wave within him. He could never forgive himself for this pain he had caused her – a Carynthian warrior trying to hold herself together in the deluge. He would not forgive himself for the tears that she’d shed, the pain that she’d put herself through to cope.

I miss you, Azriel.

The shadowsinger took a shuddering breath.

Cassian was right. Gwyn deserved so much more than he could ever give, ever be. She was light and joy and he would not let his darkness snuff her out. He was broken, soulless, and cold – death on the wind. The terrible things he had done, would continue to do, would make even the strongest warriors flee in terror. He would not bring any more blood and fear and pain into her life. She deserved happiness and joy, and he deserved suffering and the dark.

They would both get what they deserved.

“You should get inside, Gwyn. The rain is cold and you’re soaked to the bone. Get inside, warm up, and get some rest.” Azriel had no idea how he’d managed that cool, detached voice when his chest was cracking open, allowing the shadows and shame to flood into him. He watched her form, swallowed in waterlogged robes. Everything about her seemed less vibrant in that moment.

“Yes. I will. Soon.”

He waited a moment longer, and when she made no move he stepped back into the stairwell, letting the night cover him. He dared one more glance over his shoulder, heart splintering when she lowered her head to her knees, shoulders shaking.

Azriel bolted down the stairs then, knowing that facing the 10,000 steps down to Velaris would be nothing compared to facing the gut-wrenching sobs he pretended he couldn’t hear.

~~~

Gwyn knew that he could probably hear her, but she didn’t care. It didn’t matter.

So she let herself cry – full choking sobs – into her knees. But she didn’t cry for Catrin, or her lost innocence, or for Sangravah. For the first time in a long while she cried for her – this pain, heartbreak at losing someone who had become so dear to her and being powerless to stop it.

Tomorrow would be better, she knew. She had overcome far too much to let this break her. She would survive this, maybe even be better for it.

But tonight she would cry.

Because for the first time in over a year Gwyneth Berdara did not feel strong.

Tag List: @tealnymph-writes @trashforazriel @secretlovelybeauty @meher-sumedha @imsointobooks @flora-shadowshine @positivewitch @tanvee1231 @imwritingthesewords @camreadsum @vikingmagic33 @shisingh @ddsworldofbooks @gwynrielsupremacist

[stellocchia]

This is part 4 of the Comprehensive Analysis of c!Tommy and c!Dream’s relationship during the Exile Arc

Part 1 -  Part 2 -  Part 3

We’re here once more just to suffer... though be fair I did decide to do this to myself, so I can’t really complain there...

As always under the cut we will be exclusively be talking about the characters unless stated otherwise and we will be talking about some serious topics, so keep that in mind

We’re starting this off with the infamous Beach Party stream: Tommy Is Left ALONE at his Exile Party with Dream

Now, quick introduction to this vod, since we find out about some details later on: no-one, aside from Dream, shows up because Dream destroyed the invitations and also Ghostbur won’t be around any longer because Dream sent him away (knowing fully well that that could have killed him since he already heard directly from Ghostbur that rain melted him). 

Basically at this point Dream is taking a step further into the manipulation process by not only making everyone else believe that Tommy didn’t want to see them but by also physically ensure they’d believe that. Also Tommy doesn’t start this one drowning either (perhaps because he was in high spirits the day prior?)

*creeper blows up* “Shit shit shit shit (...) I’m stupid I’m stupid I deserve that I deserve that. No no no no I didn’t I didn’t, today is gonna be a good day, today is gonna be a big day” (first response to anything negative has become taking on the blame, which we see later on with the Community House situation)

“Will Tubbo be there? Maybe! Myabe he will! Maybe he will!” (Tommy still very much missing his best friend)

“He [Tubbo] did boot me out... no no! you know what? I’m in the mood to reconcile!” (a big trait of Tommy’s has always been his loyalty to people, no matter how much they hurt him)

“It was definitely 8 pm GMT, 8 pm G-” *Dream joins the game* *Tommy pauses for a few moments on the Nether bridge completely still and then turns back* (I want to point out that the reaction any time Dream joined was one of absolute fear, for good reasons of course)

One thing that I’ve noticed is that Dream rarely comes from the Nether when visiting Tommy, opting instead for the objectively longer route through the water, which honestly seems to reinforce something he said early on, which was basically that even with the longer route it doesn’t take much effort to visit, and yet Dream is the only one willing to make that effort.

“Hello!” “H-hello?” “Hi!” “Hi ho-” “Where is everyone else?” “Oh... I don’t- I don’t know...” “I’m running a little late, I’m sorry” 

Considering that we know that Dream was in fact the one who sabotaged the invites, therefore meaning he knew fully well that nobody would be there, does the fact that he came late seem like he really wanted Tommy to stew in his own loneliness for a while to anyone else? You know, to properly break his spirit. Also Tommy immediately after this goes to take off his armour (Tommy Slippers included) and weapons, but this is the one time Dream lets him keep it (which, once again, he’ll use as a point against him later on). 

“Wilbur sent out the invites, didn’t he?” “Yeah, yeah no he sent them to everybody. He actually told Tubbo to his- like, he told him, he didn’t even need to give him an invite” “Really?!” “Yeah” (just want to point out that this is in fact not gaslighting, as some people seemed to think at the time, but it is still manipulation)

“I’m sure they said they’d be here by the day-” *watching the sun go down* “Time...” “I- I thought I was late so I’m surprised people aren’t here, but...” (turns out Dream was around 15 minutes late supposedly)

Tommy at this point takes out the cake, but he doesn’t eat any. I do think this is a good time to point out that the further we are into the exile the less we actually see Tommy eating (sometimes he straight up throws away any food he has in the inventory). He also sleeps less and less (or, at least, rests less, after all sleeping doesn’t necessarily mean being well rested afterwards) which we can deduce both from his comments on the subject and his rapidly deteriorating state. 

“Dream, no-one’s here” “I don’t know why... guess I’m most surprised Tubbo isn’t ‘cause he said he was gonna be, but-” (once again harping on to the retoric that Tubbo specifically willingly abandoned Tommy)

“I figured, I mean I figured you’d probably care the least if I was here so I just- I didn’t mind being a little bit late because everyone else would be here, but...” (once again the idea here is: “even if I was late I still came, no-one else did”)

“No-one cares about me anymore!” “That’s not true...” “No-one cares about me!” *Tommy takes his armour off again* “Tommy...” “No-one cares- no-one cares about me!” *Tommy destroys the rest of the cake* “No no no *sigh*” “No-one cares, do they? No-one showed up to my party... and it was the one thing, THE ONE THING they had to do for me after exiling me and fucking me over and not one of them came with me. And... none of them care about me anymore... ‘cause I’m not in L’manburg anymore, ‘cause I’m not with- ‘cause I’m not the vice-president”

Okay, that was a long quote, but 2 things I want to point out here: Tommy had about half of his health here, he refused to eat, take of his armour and marched towards the Nether, which is again him acting with no regard for his own self-preservation. And also there is a bit of Wilbur retoric sprinkled in there, with the whole “people only care about you when you have power” mentality. That’s exactly what Wilbur tried to convince him of in the Pogtopia era and it looks like he’s seeing a confirmation of this through the party. 

“If no-one is gonna put in any effort to come and see me, than I’ll make the effort harder to come and see me then, alright?” 

At this point Tommy has borrowed Dream’s netherite pickaxe and he proceeds to destroy a chunk of the bridge he’s made in the Nether, swapping it out for a one block wide wooden bridge. Of course, it goes without saying that he is not acting rationally, he is hurt and angry at the moment and he wants to convince himself that if others don’t care about him then he won’t care about them, which is why he starts lashing out more after this. And this is the result of Dream’s direct actions by the way.

“What is everyone saying about Tubbo’s compass? What is that? What is it? Explain to me” “I- uh I’m pretty sure that he burned it or something... or he lost it, something like that” “Wha...?” “He doesn’t have it anymore”

Tommy, up until now, didn’t even fully believed that Tubbo had a compass, but with the official confirmation of it being paired with Tubbo possibly willingly burn it, it’s the last straw for Tommy who decides to do the same. Though he doesn’t end up actually burning it, he does goes to take it out of the enderchest and bring it to the Nether. I do want to point out that Tubbo did not, in fact, either loose it or burn it willingly. It was blown up by accident in a creeper explosion.

*Tommy holding his compass over a sea of lava* “He burnt it? On purpose?” “I- I think so” “You know what, wou know what? Y- you know what?!” “Why don’t you- why don’t you sleep on it Tommy? Just wait don’t do anything, you know? Anything you can’t take back and then...” “I don’t sleep anymore Dream...”

Pretty sad scene... also a confirmation of what we said before about Tommy sleeping less and less. Also I’m not entirely sure why Dream was suddenly against Tommy burning the compass when he didn’t seem to be at the start, though it could be because Tommy was so obviously hesitant about it, so he probably wouldn’t have done it either way. Which means that it was a good moment to get friendship points. 

*Tommy standing in front of the portal in the main Nether hub* “I just want to go home... please can I go home...?” “Uhm, do you wanna see the Christmas tree for, like, 10 seconds?” “Can I stay?” “You can’t stay, but you can go look at it, I’ll let you out-” “Why can’t I stay?” “It’s not like they want you anyway Tommy” “wha...?” “Tommy, no-one showed up to your party and everyone was invited. Do you want to see the Christmas tree?” “I’ll just go back...”

This is the one single scene that is capable of making me emotional every single time. Just Tommy’s broken and small voice throughout it is something else... also Dream’s absolutely smug tone in all of it. But, the one thing, aside from the great acting, that I want to point out in all of this is how the reason for why Tommy can’t go back now has shifted from Dream killing him if he does to his old friends not wanting him around any longer. This way Dream gets to fully play the part of the magnanimous friend who still cares while everyone else is depicted as the enemy. Also I do find it interesting that in this scene Dream keeps insisting quite a bit for Tommy to go see the tree (in contrast to the first time where he refused for him to go back even for a few seconds), which almost looks like him testing how effective his conditioning was.

“That guy is gonna kill me, the little guy” *pointing at a baby piglin* “Oh” *Dream proceeds to get rid of it* (Tommy is by now basically dependent on Dream for his own safety)

“Do you need food?” “*sigh* No” (Tommy is literally on 3 hearts with 3 1/2 hunger bars and he is still refusing to eat)

They spend quite a bit of time after this by playing with Dream’s riptide trident and later also with the throwing one. Also Tommy changes his “girlfriend” hot girl for HOTTER girl (because I know you all deeply care for this kind of updates)

“I actually didn’t have a trident before and it took forever to come here, so I got a trident to come here quickly” “Oh thank you! You obviously care about me Dream” (Tommy feeling compelled to thank Dream for literally anything paired with Dream constantly showing off how much effort he is willing to put in)

“Let’s make a guest tent, let’s make a guest tent!” “That’s a... great idea” “In case any guest wanna- I mean maybe even- maybe you- we’ll make it here. It- it needs to be close to me because I’m- I’m really missing contact” (on top of everything else, Tommy was also canonically touch starved)

Dream and Tommy also make a guest tent together (and it’s implied a few times that maybe Dream will use it) before playing with tridents a bit more when it starts raining. Also Tommy builds a cobblestone smartphone were he keeps snapchat streaks with girls (this goes in the list of sentences I never thought I’d type). 

“Hey thanks for letting me keep my armour today” “You’re welcome” “It was nice of you” “I just thought it’d be good for the party and everything” “I’m sorry it wasn’t that much of a party in the end” “Eh, we make it a party together, so” “Yeah”

So, once more I want to point out a couple of things: there is no reason, aside from Dream’s conditioning, for Tommy to feel grateful that Dream didn’t take away his means to defend himself, nor is there any reason for Tommy to be the one apologizing for the party turning out the way it did. But also one other thing I want to point out is Dream’s insistence over them having fun together, which he keeps saying even later on during the prison visits. And I want to point that out because I do really think that Dream believes that or that he, at the very least, does try to convince himself of it. I’m still not entirely sure on that point, but, by now, I’m fairly sure that Dream really does believe that him and Tommy are his warped and toxic version of what “friends” would be...

“I should have died and then- and then I didn’t! I should have died...” (suicidal thoughts)

*Tommy reaching the maximum height with the trident* “I’m alone...” (just a very famous scene here, but also keeping to the theme of loneliness even when other people are around, in this case Dream)

“Just- just build a guest tent Dream! You’re probably gonna be the one who stays in the most so... since you’re my guest” 

*Dream standing inside the guest tent* “I’m in- I’m in my tent my tent” (the implications I mentioned before)

“Maybe I’m just gonna stay here, maybe I’m just gonna live here instead” (referring always to the guest tent and Logstedshire)

This all ends with Dream gifting Tommy the throwing trident (which he then puts in his enderchest) and Tommy also gains a zombie head from their mob hunting.

“Let me keep the other trident please” “What the one that you can throw?” “Yeah” “Okay Tommy, I’ll let you keep it” “Really?” “Yeah, as a gift, a beach party gift. You can remember our bonding experience from today” “Awww, thank you” (this is the conversation as a frame of reference)

“Listen Dream, what do we do now, then? If no-one is gonna come and visit me, what do I do?” “Nah, I’m visiting you!” (Dream really is convinced to me as much the center of Tommy’s universe as he is of his, huh?)

“Dream, as much as I’m feeling happy, I’m not. I’m not Dream. Where do we go from here?” “Uhm, I think that you will come around to liking it here, and you’ll build up your own ‘empire’ here, and you’ll be happy and maybe they’ll come and visit you- like you said! You said the thing about all, like, power right? You have no power and now they don’t visit you, maybe you’ll be- you’ll be back in power and then they’ll...” “I’ll always be exiled” “Yeah but that doesn’t mean you can’t become powerful, you can become powerful away from- away from them”

This is the closing conversation, that ends with Tommy entering the sea and disconnecting once he is on only one bubble of air left. Which, by the way, is a case of Tommy dissociating, which we know because he always later seems confused when logging in and finding himself in the water (meaning the confrontation with Jack at the hotel wasn’t the first case of him dissociating).

Also, while Dream is spewing all of this stuff about how “Tommy can still be powerful here” it’s obvious that that’s not the case. Tommy is not allowed armour or weapons and he is basically not allowed any allies (what with Dream sending Ghostbur away, intercepting Ranboo’s mail and making sure to keep away from Tommy as much as possible). Tommy is quite literally stuck in a position of powerlessness that he cannot escape from with someone who actually enjoys having him at his weakest.

I’ll leave it here for today, because this was literally one of the most intense streams so I had quite a lot to say and this became so damn long... I’ll probably condense the next two together.

[kiribaku-queen]

The Blood King and his Queen [7]

Pairing: Bakugou x reader

Romance, Angst, Drama

Word count: 2.4K

Summary:  From being a mere servant girl to marrying the scariest prince in existence, your world changed right before your eyes. Exchanging places with the princess, you knew, wasn’t going to be easy. But could you have found love on the way? Or was it never meant to be?

A/N: I hope you guys really enjoy this chapter because I think its my favorite chapter so far! FYI, if I don't update this series in a while, it'll be because I am working on an 18+ oneshot for a collab for Bakugou's birthday. So if that does happen, the regular uploads will happen after Bakugou's birthday. And let me tell you, its going to be S P I C Y~

But I can't express how surprised I am by all the love I'm receiving! I really wish I could respond to all your comments, but again, this is my side blog so I can't comment! If ya'll want to follow me on my main... please dont. LOL not to be mean or anything but I don't use my main at all and I don't post ever so there's no point in following me there :)

PLEASE ENJOY AND LET ME KNOW IF YOU WANT TO BE ADDED TO THE TAG! JOIN THE FAMILY!

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Your heart physically dropped when he said that. You felt sick. Your palms were sweating and shaking. The air around you grew dense and you felt like you couldn’t breath. You couldn’t move for that matter.

Ruin?

What would he do to you if he found out that you weren’t really a princess? That you were a fake lying to him this whole time. It made you sick, just imaging every cruel thing he could do once he found out. But then you remembered, he wasn’t like all the rumors you heard. He was different. He was kind and understanding. He wouldn’t really ruin you if he found out, would he? You shook away the thought. The more you think about it, the more you were likely to get caught.

You were completely exhausted from all that labor you produced in a week’s time. Town after town, you were able to help his people even if it was just a little bit. But it sure depleted a lot of energy out of you. You don’t know if you’ve ever been this drained before in your entire life. It’s not like you had to do hard physical labor back at the palace. This experience was hard on you but also gave you insight on the prince and his kingdom.

Completely drained of your energy, you sat down on one of the tree trunks his soldiers brought for you at the camp not far away from the village you were at. The impoverished village didn’t have enough shelter as is, so you were left with no option but to set up your own shelter. It wasn’t a big deal to you anyway since that’s how you’ve been spending your nights so far.

All the soldiers had gathered around to take a breather for the night and drink away the stress. You weren’t a drinker, but enjoyed the atmosphere the soldiers created: fun and rowdy, like they didn’t give a care in the world. They were dancing on tables, clinking their drinks together, singing songs while hooking their arms around each other’s shoulders.

You laughed at the sight and stretched out your arms. How you wanted to continue the night away but your muscles were soar and aching. A physical exhaustion that you weren’t used to and didn’t want to get used to.

Bakugou was watching his crew from the door, arms crossed and enjoying his crew have fun. He was never the one to be center of attention, so he had his own fun from the back. He saw the way you extended your arms, faced wincing from how sore you were. Cute. It was your last night of volunteer work, why not end the night with something special?

You felt the Blood Prince’s breath sneak up behind your neck, sending chills down your spine.

“Tired?” he asks.

“Maybe just a little,” you admit. You look up at him and he’s giving you those soft yet piercing eyes. He goes to sit next to you and everything is just… peaceful. In that moment you felt content. You felt free. If this was how life was out of the palace, if this was more to life than just serving a spoiled princess, then you didn’t want to leave.

“I am impressed, princess,” Bakugou spoke. “This whole trip, you never, not once sat out. You helped the whole time. Are you sure you’re a princess?” he side eyed you.

“If I am not a princess, then what am I?” you asked back. (y/n), what are you doing? You could expose yourself and everything would be ruined! But for some reason, you wanted to be selfish. You wanted to know his reaction and how he would respond. Maybe you would give up your whole mission for him.

“An innocent and hardworking beauty that is not a princess. She is my future queen who will help me restore this kingdom.” He came closer to you, meaning every single word. Your eyes softened and you got emotional, almost to the point of tears. He’s smiling at you, but suddenly gets up. But gestures for you to take his hand. Of course you did.

“I want to show you something,” he says and leads you away from the crowd of people and into the woods.

You two were walking for a while, your hand in his the whole way. He hadn’t told you where he was leading you to but it had to be something special if he was dragging you to what seemed like all across the country to get to your destination.

“Your highness, are we almost there yet?” you asked, fatigue hitting you once again.

“Almost,” he responds, continuing to look ahead. You huffed and held on tight to his hand so you didn’t get lost or left behind. After a few more minutes of walking, you felt the air get hotter and thinner. Bakugou smiles in front of you, looking excited.

“We’re here,” he announces. He pulls back these huge leaves, revealing a natural hot spring. The water was clear enough that you could see right through it, steam rising from the water, and rocks surrounding it, creating this gorgeous, peaceful atmosphere. Your eyes lit up and a loud gasp escaped your lips.

“How did you find this place?” you asked, getting closer to the hot spring.

“You like it? None of my men know about this place,” he says.

“It’s beautiful!” you continue to gasp, feeling the water with your hands. The heat of the water made you giddy and you couldn’t wait to hop in.

“You deserve it,” Bakugou comes up to, whispering in your ear. His statement made you blush, but this time, you didn’t hide it. He smirks behind you and you heard something falling to the floor. You dare turn around to see Bakugou shirtless, discarding his clothes one by one. As if your face wasn’t hot enough, steam was coming out of your ears with embarrassment.

“What are you doing?” you freaked out, turning around immediately.

“Getting in,” he said in the most obvious tone of voice.

“Together?”

“You’ll be on one side and I’ll be on the other,” he points out a huge rock, separating the hot spring into two pools. That seems a little better, but the idea of soaking in a hot spring together with the prince was nerve wracking.

“Princess, you can enter first, if that makes you feel better,” he suggested. When you turn to look at him, he already had his back turn out of respect for you.

So you undress and enter the heated water, noticing that all your muscles relaxed and the aches started going away as soon as you hit the water. You lean the back of your head on the rock and allow yourself to fully relax and destress. You could hear water splashing from the other side of the rock, indicating that Bakugou had also entered the water. Humming in satisfaction. You grew deeper and deeper in the hot spring until your nose was sitting on top of the water.

“Princess, I realize that I don’t know your name,” Bakugou spoke. Your name? You stayed silent. Was it wise to use your own name or should you continue to play as the princess?

“(y/n).” you decided.

“(y/n),” Bakugou repeated, elongating your name as if he stopped saying it, it’d disappear from him forever. The way your name left his lips felt like butter to him. He couldn’t help himself from repeated your name over and over again in his mind. You giggled and looked over the rock, arms crossed and head resting over them.

“Your highness, allow me to scrub your back,” you offered. Bakugou waved his hand while shaking his head.

“Nonsense. You shall not attend to me. We’re here to relax,” he had to remind you. But you insisted.

“But I want to, Prince Bakugou,” you pouted, jutting out your bottom lip.

“The high and mighty princess wants to wash the blood Prince’s back?” he questions playfully. He glances back to see you resting on top of the rock, giving him your big doe eyes.

“If you insist,” he gave up. He turns his back again, making sure to give you the privacy you needed to be able to come over to his side. You make your way over to him, covering your breasts in case. When you got settled behind him, you started washing his back.

You expected Bakugou to have scars from his many battles he’s had, but you didn’t expect his back to be covered in decolored and deformed wounds. Unknowingly, your hands went up to caress each scar.

“Does that frighten you?” he asks.

“Not at all,” you tell him honestly. “I think it makes you very brave.”

A comfortable silence fell upon you. Only the sound of water running and insects in the background could be heard. That was until you felt poke your butt. The hairs on your body hiked and you screamed as loud as you could, rising from the water in panic.

“Princess!” Bakugou instinctively put protection mode on, shooting up from his place to see what the danger was. You immediately clung to him, Bakugou wrapped his arms around your waist and pulled you close. What Bakugou saw wasn’t an enemy but rather, a wild Japanese macaque monkey poking his head out of the water.

“Shoo!” Bakugou scared the monkey out of the water and back into the forest. Bakugou grunted and relaxed his shoulders. “Damn monkeys. I thought they only came out during the winter season. Are you okay, prin…cess,” he looked down at you only for you to look up at him with your exposed chest fully pressed against his chest. Now this could easily be the most embarrassing moment of your entire life. Your face heated up with embarrassment and you let out another scream, using all your force to slap him across the face. Bakugou wasn’t expecting such a reaction and it caught him off guard. You put for much force into the slap that Bakugou flew back and fell into the water. You ran out of the spring, covering up as fast as you could.

Bakugou had never been so flustered in his life. He was a blushing mess and now the image of your naked breasts on him could not escape his mind. He needed time to calm himself down and a certain friend from getting too excited.

When you both had returned back to the rest of the crew, everybody had been knocked out cold from the alcohol. Thank goodness, because they couldn’t see how awkward you two were at the moment. That night, you slept in the tent again while Bakugou camped outside.

But you couldn’t sleep. How could that situation happen to you, out of all people? You weren’t sure how much he saw of your naked body. Maybe he didn’t see anything at all. But you saw the expression on his face, he definitely saw something. You covered your chest and closed your eyes. To think that a man saw your body and it wasn’t even your wedding night.

You felt the wind enter your tent, the chill making you shiver. If it was cold inside the tent, it must be extra cold outside. Bakugou was sleeping outside. You bit your lip in confliction. You wanted him to be warm but that means you had to confront him. Ah, fuck it. You opened your tent and saw Bakugou resting on the grass with his cape wrapped around him. And it wasn’t doing a very good job because you could see him shivering. He couldn’t hide it no matter how hard he tried.

“Would you like to come inside?” you invite him in.

“It’s for you, princess,” he reminded you.

“I understand. But it’s too cold to be sleeping out here. Please. I insist,” you urged. He opens one eye and sighs.

“As you wish, princess,” Bakugou gave in. You scooted over to make room for the large man to sleep next to you. Bakugou made himself comfy but he was a tad too tall for the tent that he had to have his legs hanging out. The opening of the tent revealed the big, bright moon overhead.

“I’m sorry for hitting you,” you apologized. Bakugou just lets out a breath.

“It’s whatever. I didn’t see anything, by the way,” he reassures you. Embarrassed again, you unconsciously covered your chest.

“You sure?”

“Erased from my mind,” he says as he closes his eyes and moves his hands around his head, as if he was erasing his memory. You laugh at his antics, more comfortable with the mood that was created. Bakugou laughs with you and turns to you, meeting eyes. This is the nth time that his heart leapt when you stare at him with those innocent, childlike eyes. He clears his throat and all of a sudden, his ears got red.

“The moon is beautiful, isn’t it?” Bakugou professed. You blinked in confusion. You weren’t sure why he said that. Glancing up at the moon, you guess you could say that it was beautiful. It was a full moon, and shone brightly above your heads. You weren’t versed in the poetics so you couldn’t comprehend the message the Blood Prince was trying to get at you.

“The moon is especially beautiful tonight. But isn’t the moon beautiful every night?” you responded.

Bakugou looks are you in mortification. Fuck, did he just get rejected? His ears got hot and he covered his mouth with his hands.

“Yeah… yeah it is,” he agreed, embarrassed. He took a deep breath in and back out again to calm his beating heart. You look over at him to see him a little distressed. You softly smiled, another side you got to see of him. It was cute. You could feel your heartbeat starting to pick its pace up and that’s when you realized. Gathering up all the courage you could muster, you leaned over to kiss him on the cheek you slapped.

“Good night,” you quickly say, then turned over to face away from him. Bakugou stops everything in his tracks and is frozen. He couldn’t help but smile and fall asleep next to you.

The moment you made the decision to kiss him was when you knew that you wanted to be selfish. You wanted to become his queen and rule his kingdom together. You were going to forget your past life. You were going to forget this mission you were on. You were the princess now. That was his truth and you weren’t going to change it.

A/N: For those who don't know, the phrase "the moon is beautiful, isn't it" or 月が綺麗ですね is a more poetic way of saying "I love you" in olden Japanese. And then the response to that would be "I can die happy" or 死んでもいいわ. Just for reference.

As I said before, I absolutely love this chapter and I really really REALLY want to know your reactions and thoughts!

Spoiler: drama starts in the next chapter :)

If you'd like to be tagged, please let me know in the comments or DM me! and if you'd like to be tagged when my 18+ oneshot comes out, let me know too! I love you all!

Tagged: @superblyspeedydragon @melasnchz-things @animexholic @bkgwrites @sam-i-am-1025 @apexqueenie @katsukibabe @germfart3 @tspice283 @angie-1306 @bakugous-trauma @bakugousmrs @random-fandom-girl-24 @monetfatalia @triviajeongin @readingslumpfanfic @softredrobin @briefhoundpartynickel @bnhahegao

[magnoliabloomfield]

Possession

Chapter 2: Do the Right Thing

song suggestion: Divisionary (Do the Right Thing)- Ages and Ages

The gathering broke up pretty soon after that so things could get done. Alby and Newt started showing the girl around together while Minho went to collect his cot for her. Gally went to the gardening shed and started taking out some things to make room for it. His mind was blue as he scribbled white lines of architecture on it, preplanning what he could do that would be structurally sound, safe, and almost defend-able.

Alby said the bonfire was still on for that night so the boys could let out their excitement, but this was the first one Gally planned to sit out. He was going to get a working blue print, list the materials and put the steps in order, then he was going straight to bed so he could get an early start. He looked across the Glade and spotted her near the kitchen getting a snack from Frypan. He noticed that since she became more resigned to her fate, her expression had flattened out until it was like she had none. No emotions played on her features as she ate, listened to Alby and Newt and was blatantly ogled by boys everywhere.

She said something to Alby, he nodded, and she spoke again. Alby looked around and his gaze came to a halt on Gally, one brow raised in a mix of mild surprise and confusion. Gally tried to be nonchalant as he nodded to Alby, playing it off as giving him a sign it was going well, then he turned away, hoping he’d be left alone. His face felt a little hotter and he wondered what she might have said, but he wasn’t going to do anything to find out.

He stood at his work table, paper and pencil’s littering it as well as his dishes from dinner. He was doing the finishing touches by candle light when Alby came up to him.

“It’s weird not having you in the circle on bonfire night,” he commented.

Gally stared at him a little apprehensively, not used to him making small talk. “Yeah, well.”

“Listen,” Alby went on, leaning on his work table and peering over his sketches. “She asked to start her working rounds with the builders, she said that she should help since this is all because of her,” Alby said as he gestured at all the blueprints and lists on the table.

Gally froze. For one that was pretty shucking decent of her, but on the other hand he was not ready to babysit her first, probably not ever. “You told her no, right?” Gally asked him, trying not to sound hopeful but make it a firm statement.

“I tried,” Alby admitted as he rolled a pencil across the table. “I tried to tell her that it would be hard work and you’d be busy trying to get it done quickly, but she was pretty adamant that she do something to help.”

Gally sighed. It was admirable but annoying.

“Look, just give her something simple to do, something that will take her a while and keep her out of your hair most of the time, just let her do something. I think… I think she felt a little guilty about all the work you had to do for her.”

Right, girls had feelings. Gally hadn’t meant to make her feel bad, he wasn’t even complaining, he was just stating the facts and trying to convey the time restraints he’d be under to get it done in time for her to be comfortable.

“Alright, fine,” he mumbled.

Alby laughed. “Don’t be such a shank about it! Acting all mad that the first girl to show up picked you first.”

“She didn’t pick me,” Gally refuted even as he felt his cheeks go warm. “She’s just trying to be responsible. Which is something we need more of around here,” he said as his gaze roamed over the boys whooping it up at the bonfire. He guessed she wouldn’t be anywhere near that, probably went to bed early. After all, the first day usually came with a massive headache.

“Ah whatever man,” Alby slapped him on the shoulder before taking steps back toward the action. “I hope you don’t get too attached to her tomorrow, she has other rounds to make, remember that. You can’t keep her," his words reminding Gally of the rule the keepers made without her around to hear.

Gally didn’t even respond to that, he just turned back to his work and gathered up his papers in meticulous order and weighed them down with a rock before putting all his pencils and such away in their jar. He strayed to the bonfire for one drink, telling himself it was to help him get to sleep faster, knowing it was really to calm his nerves.

He was the only one up with the sun that morning. He didn’t wake up any of builders yet even though they deserved it for goofing off at the bonfire when they knew a hard days work was waiting for them. He took the opportunity to have some peace and quiet, time alone to really picture what it was he was going to do.

He thought he had picked a good spot for it, close enough to food and the bathrooms that she wouldn’t have to go far if she got up in the middle of the night, but far enough to avoid the sound of the kitchen and the smell of the outhouses. She’d get plenty of shade here without anyone being able to use the trees to get into her house.

Satisfied with the location he measured and marked off the area. Luckily he had been planning on building a house on stilts before this and set aside the things he’d need for it as they had come along. Pretty lucky, he thought as he ran a hand over his short hair, looking up at the place where her house would be, imagining it there in detail.

“Morning,” came a small voice behind him.

He was glad he hadn't visibly startled as he turned around and saw the girl sleepily rubbing her eyes as she walked up. For some reason he didn’t have a response to that, it felt too intimate to say ‘good morning’, he never said that to any of the boys, so he just nodded at her.

“This where it’s going?” she asked as she looked at the markers.

Suddenly Gally was questioning what he had been so sure of a second ago. “Do you not want it here?” he asked her, looking around, hoping someone else was awake by now so he wasn’t alone with her.

“Honestly that was a dumb question for me to ask, obviously that’s what’s going on,” she admitted as she gestured at the plot. “And yes, this is perfectly fine location.”

She was standing about three feet away from him, but they were otherwise shoulder to shoulder facing the plot and it took on this weird feeling that it was their project. A silence sat between them for a moment.

“I’m sorry you have to go through all this trouble for-“

“You have nothing to be sorry about,” Gally cut her off, he kept his eyes on the plot even when he could tell she had turned to look at him. Why had he blurted that out so fast? “It’s just something that needs done, not like it’s your fault or anything,” he shrugged to try and keep it casual. He couldn’t explain why, but he didn’t want her to feel bad on top of everything else she must be feeling.

“Might not be my fault, but I’m still the cause,” she pointed out after she considered him for a beat. Then she placed her fists on her hips. “Well, where do we start?”

@gladerscake @crazysheeplyca @thesuitkovian @poulterholland @anniemylennox @poulterjonas @carp3d1em @neilox

I've started to make them a little bit lyric inspired but it's kind of hard atm because they're still strangers, but I think Divisionary with it's line of "Do the right thing, do the right thing, do it all the time, do it all the time" is SO Gally, so therefore it's his song this chapter as he tries to do the right thing for her.

Btw, since everyone in the Glade has a name given to them by Wicked, I was going to give her a real name instead of YN, so let me know about any historical figures you think she should be named after. In Garden of Heathen I named the girl Aussie after Jane Austen since she wasn't a genius but she had the highest emotional IQ, and then in The Reason I named the girl Nikola after Tesla.

If you want updates without following me you can always follow the tag "Will Poulter protection squad" because I'm pretty sure I'm the only one using it and from now on I'll put it in the fic tags.

Possession Masterlist

[whatifxwereyou]

The Oncoming Storm Part 27: Untangling

Liu Kang x Reader and Kung Lao x Reader (gonna do both, two paths!)

Relaxing(?) with Chen and taking some time for yourself... and things are uh... interesting, to say the least.

The choice is like 3-4 posts away- and I just wanted to give you a heads up that it won't be an overt "i choose so and so" choice. It will be a... seemingly monotonous choice that will lead you, dear reader, down a path to end up with one or the other! Do you guys want me to label which choice goes where? I mean it'll be obvious after the next parts are up which one is which SO I guess it doesn't matter?? Just figured I'd ask! Smooches.

Part 26 Part 28 Chapter Index

You left Kung Lao to rest and decided afterward to relax in the hot springs. Your body was sore, even more so after having gone toe to toe with a second monster. At least the second monster hadn’t tossed you around like a ragdoll the way the first one had. Still, you were sore. You made your way to the springs, rinsed off in the changing room, found a towel, and then walked inside. It was peaceful and there were only a handful of other people there.

You explored the pools a bit further back in hopes of finding some peace and quiet. Thankfully, your time in the springs in Huangshan hadn’t ruined this for you. They were so drastically different.

Peace and quiet were exactly what you’d been granted for a time.

Resting your head back against the natural stone formations, you let your sore body bask in the warmth of the water. It was enough to clear your thoughts of the word ‘monster’ being so frequent in your vocabulary and both the men that you’d left with fevers in their respective rooms.

It was no wonder that you drifted to sleep so quickly. Your sleep wasn’t restful though. You kept seeing flashes of the nightmare you’d had before you’d crawled into Liu’s bed that night. Then you saw the man with the horns, his white eyes staring into yours, and you felt the pain of his hand in your chest.

There was a splash next to you and you sat upright quickly, fists clenched at the ready for a fight. Chen was looking at you in surprise. You sighed with relief and relaxed. Chen and a few of the other women from the infirmary, as well as two of the cooks that you’d met a handful of times were getting into the water alongside you. You had tried to get to know the people you interacted with every day if not just a little bit. They worked hard and you wanted them to feel appreciated.

“It’s good to see you back, Y/N!” One of the younger girls chimed in and then went about chatting to the woman next to her animatedly. You greeted them politely and then rested your head back against the stone. Chen sat close to you. So much for peace. Even so, you smiled. Chen pestered you sure, but she was also a delight to talk to. Your smile faded quickly as you remembered the last conversation you had.

“How are you feeling?” Chen asked discreetly. You sat upright and covered your bruised neck as Chen made to poke at it. It was still sore. “I’m guessing that’s not from anything fun, huh?”

“Definitely not something fun.” You sunk down so that your neck was in the water, to hide, and Chen giggled. “I’m fine, by the way. Just tired. I haven’t been sleeping well the past few nights.” You hadn’t, you supposed. There had been nightmares and then you and Kung Lao had gotten about four hours of sleep before you’d had to roll out of bed to go and meet Raiden. The women stared at you with rapt attention as if expecting an exciting reason for you to have not been sleeping.

“Because…?” Chen urged you onward hopefully and you splashed at them.

“I am so not in the mood, Chen.”

Chen and the other women laughed. “It’s all in good fun, Y/N. I know that things were crazy for you in Japan. I’ve heard you had quite the adventure.”

“Is that so?”

“Yeah! One of Raiden’s scribes overheard Kung Lao recounting your adventure with that tar thing.”

“Are you all gossips?”

“Look, it can be really boring here sometimes while those with the marks are off going on adventures and protecting the world. We’re here to protect you so I feel like in return we get to live vicariously through you. Is that so much to ask?” Chen had her chest puffed out proudly and you bowed your head and gestured toward her friends.

“My apologies, gossip away.”

“I was promised more information after you’d ditched Liu Kang. Define complicated please.”

The eyes of the other monks were on you, as curious but less forward than Chen. You bet it was so they could all update their little betting pool appropriately and you narrowed your eyes at them. “I will no gossip about myself. Especially not in front of everyone. No offense, guys.”

“Boo! You’re no fun, Y/N! There must be something steamy you’re not sharing with me. I swear that I interrupted something that morning with Liu Kang. I’ve thought about it on repeat since you left.” Chen poked your shoulder and the other women agreed with her, so you held your face in your hands to hide your embarrassment. Your skin was officially hotter than the spring water. They were whispering about what Chen had seen and it was much more dramatic than what had actually happened.

If they only knew that Chen hadn’t been completely wrong with her assumptions. Liu had asked you to stay in bed with him. Ugh, you wished that you had.

“Oh, stop picking on Y/N, guys. We have plenty to gossip about and she deserves to relax. She’s all bruised up, look at her.” One of the younger girls came to your defense and you were relieved.

They seemed eager to talk about whatever other gossip they’d picked up in the temple. You tuned most of it out as much as you could. You’d always struggled with gossip. Most of your life you’d been gossiped about, and it had never been in a good way. You didn’t like making other people feel like they were being talked about behind their back. You supposed it made you bottle everything inside which wasn’t exactly healthy either. No one was perfect. The kind of gossip that these monks were involved in didn’t bother you as much. It seemed harmless. No one’s feelings were getting hurt.

You listened to the hum of conversation. Apparently, one of the groups of monks who had gone into the closest town to pick up goods had gotten themselves into a bit of trouble with one of the women there. The story was ridiculous, and you wondered if this was how they talked about you when you weren’t around. It probably sounded just as absurd. It was funny. At least the gossip seemed distant from the truth. Unless this was the truth and, in that case, you felt terribly sorry for the woman and the monk who had gotten into trouble with her husband.

They were terrible monks.

The group drifted in the water until they were out of earshot, and you were grateful for the peace. You almost managed to fall asleep again but instead you felt Chen lifting your arm out of the water to check your pulse. You peeked one eye open and found Chen smiling at you.

“Still feeling okay? You’re pretty pale.”

“You can relax, Chen. You don’t always have to be on call. I’m fine. Really.”

“I work extra hard to make up for all the gossip.”

“I’m really okay. Just tired. I’m probably going to go back to my room and sleep soon. Less risk of drowning if I pass out there.” Only marginally less, you thought. You’d almost drowned yourself in ink the other night.

“Aww, not going to regale me with any stories of danger and romance?”

“I don’t know if I’m emotionally up to discussing the danger and romance, as you call it.”

“Why not?”

“It’s… a lot. It’s escalated in complication. I’m mixed up right now. I think my discussion needs to be more… mental.” You realized, suddenly, that Chen had weaseled you into talking about it.

“Oh? Going to make a decision soon?”

“You’re such a sneak. You know that, right?”

“Do go on.” Chen batted her eyelashes happily, resting her elbow against the stone.

“Yeah, yeah. It’s time to make a choice. I’ve got to… sort it out. I have to talk to them about it or just… make an honest move. It scared me for a while, but it needs to happen. No matter what happens next? I have to stop kissing both of them but there’s so much conflict in my heart…”

“Oh, hold on, excuse me? You’ve kissed them both? Y/N! You have been holding out on me!”

“Could you please lower your voice.” You sat up higher in alarm. “You’re completely missing the point that I was making.” You scooted further back from the other monks and Chen followed you. Your face was on fire again and the water was too hot.

“I need details immediately.” Chen’s eyes were filled with glee. “Which one of them kisses better? Are they good kisses? When did this happen? Has this happened more than once? Was there tongue? Did you do more than kissing?”

“Oh, for the love of all that you believe in, please stop!” You laughed and held your hands out in a panic to try and silence Chen. “I’m begging you to lower your voice.”

Chen cackled with laughter and pointed at your red face in amusement. You waited for Chen to get herself together. It took an awkwardly long amount of time. Chen cleared her throat and then straightened her posture as if she had to prepare herself to have a conversation. “Okay. Sorry. Yes, continue. That was delightful. What is it that has you so mixed up?” Besides the fact that they were both gorgeous? Besides the fact that their kisses and their touches literally took your breath away? That they both filled you with a deep and desperate longing that made you want to rip your insides out and offer them as sacrifice?

Liu Kang was the proverbial spark. You’d never once been drawn to another human being the way that you were drawn to him. It was like your bodies called to one another and as silly as you felt for thinking it, it was also true. Kung Lao, however, was your childhood love, but all grown up and while he was a complete mess, he was also romantic as hell. It wasn’t the same attraction you shared with Liu, but your attraction was different and just as wonderful.

“You’re just going to make fun of me.”

“You were quiet for a long time there. Getting lost in memories of kisses?”

“See?”

“Of course I’m going to make fun of you, Y/N, but I will also try to be a good friend.”

“You’re also going to just tell everyone else about it.”

“…true.”

“Ugh.”

“You could still tell me. I promise I’ll twist it enough that no one will quite believe me.”

“I’m… I just…” You sighed in frustration, mussed your hair, and then decided to just go for it. It would make Chen happy to get something of substance from you and maybe putting it out into the universe would offer you some reflection. Chen was hanging on your every word. “I have this crazy attraction to Liu. Plus, he’s so sweet and funny and smart. He holds me in such reverence and it’s going to sound so crazy cheesy but he’s made of fire in just about every way and… ugh he calls me beautiful and…” You whined and leaned your head back against the stone and felt your insides tighten up just at the thought. This hadn’t helped.

Chen was fanning herself.

“Hard to beat that. When was this steamy, fiery kiss…?”

“You are fishing for more information than I’m willing to give you.”

“You can’t blame me for trying. So, what’s the hang up with Lao then? I’ve seen you with Liu. You two are natural together.”

“Like I said, it’s complicated. I… ugh, I am bad at this. I hate this, Chen. I hate talking about it.”

“I know. It’s the worst. I wish you were drunk. You’d go on about it.”

“I kind of wish I was drunk too.”

“Raiden said no liquor for now.” Chen was disappointed. “Focus. Lao. Tell me.”

“We… it’s complicated, okay? We butt heads but he’s so damn nostalgic and surprisingly sweet when he’s not… trying to be. It’s hard to explain why I’m hung up on it because it’s… emotional? When he kissed me? The world disappeared. It makes me think that maybe if we hadn’t lost touch, if he hadn’t disappeared, then we probably would have been together from the beginning. It’s not any less magnetic, just different. Lao and I are very alike. Liu balances me out.” You sighed and briefly forgot that you were talking to the biggest gossip that you had ever met. “I care deeply for them both. I don’t want to hurt either of them, but I can’t take the emotional turmoil of bouncing back and forth between them anymore. And it’s not fair to any of us.”

“Wow, this is actually eating you up inside. I thought you were just being ridiculous to avoid telling me dirty details.” Chen seemed impressed and you turned your attention to her in surprise. Of course, it was eating you up inside! How could it not? “You’re really not going to just get them super drunk and then get spit roasted by both and have a wild night none of you will remember?”

You choked on your own spit and then coughed, leaning out of the water and onto the stone to escape the heat of the springs. Chen patted you on the back but laughed. “I have to look at and talk to them every day, Chen!”

“Have fun picturing that for the rest of your life.”

“Oh, I hate you right now.” You laughed, but the mental image was there, and Chen was right. It would live in your brain rent free for the rest of your life.

“You’ll be fine, Y/N. Just follow your heart and please get laid. Then get drunk and give me all those dirty details.”

“I’m so glad that I’m asking you for advice.” You managed to clear your windpipe, finally. “That was sarcasm. Sorry, choked up.” You shook the mental image away again. Your morning with Liu Kang hadn’t helped that mental image at all. “I’ll figure it out. I’m at a point where I’m ready to figure it out. But I think you’ve teased me enough. I’m going upstairs to get some rest because I am hotter than the springs now.”

“Good. Rest. You’re still pale when you’re not as red as I made you.”

“I plan too.”

“I hope you run into one of them and you can’t shake the mental image!” Chen called to you as you started out of the water, and you nearly slipped and fell back in.

“Goodbye, Chen.” You waved back to her and then bowed to the other monks before returning to the changing room, getting back into your clothes, and heading back to your room. Thankfully, you didn’t run into Liu Kang or Kung Lao. You hoped that they were still resting.

You threw yourself into bed and laid face down for a while, contemplating your options. It was kind of nice to think of how it might wind up. What were you complaining about? There were two incredibly attractive men chasing after your heart. Even so, it filled your stomach with anxiety and dread. You didn’t want to hurt either of them. You wished there were a reality where you could have them both but knew that would end messy too.

After changing into a nightshirt, you went to bed. You really were exhausted but your sleep wasn’t restful. You tossed and turned throughout the night, plagued with nightmares. When you opened your eyes, there was a silhouette of a horned man standing at the side of your bed. You struggled to move, to blink, but you were paralyzed by fear. Breathing was difficult and he leaned over you and reached for your throat. His face was shadow with the exception of a wicked white smile. You felt like he held you down, pinned to your bed, pushing you further into it.

Your body ached.

You were seeing spots, unable to breathe. No matter how you tried, you couldn’t fight it. It was like sleep paralysis. You’d read about it, but it also felt real. He was closer to you, inches from your face, and his clawed hand rested over your cheek.

Then suddenly you were free of the grip that held you prisoner, that had trapped you in bed. You were alone and gasped for struggled breaths. Panicked, you crawled out of bed, collapsing onto the floor and bursting into sobs. Ink spilled from your hands, staining the floor. You struggled to stop shaking and push yourself up, catching your breath.

Then you froze in horror.

Strands of ink were spread across your room from wall to wall, floor to ceiling, creating an elaborate and dangerous web.

What the actual hell?

What had you done?

How had you done it?

Reaching out with a shaky hand, you brushed your fingers over the thick web of ink and pulled your hand back immediately. It had been solid and sharp, slicing the tip of your finger.

You trembled with fear and leaned as far against the bed as you could press your body. You tried to get up, to will yourself to move, but instead it felt like your lungs were being squeezed by invisible hands. Your fingers were curling up and you pulled them close to your chest. Closing your eyes, you tried to take deep breaths to calm down but you could barely exhale.

You’d filled your room with ink in your sleep.

That had to have been a vision, but it hadn’t been the future or the past. It had been of that thing in your room with you, hovering over you. What, was this some Catholic-style possession? Maybe finding the artifacts had been a mistake.

You laid on the floor, stretching out into child’s pose to try and help yourself calm down, to breathe. This moment mattered. Not the nightmare. Not the vision. Not the fear.

Just the moment.

You would be okay.

After an agonizingly long time, you felt your heart finally slowing down. Your fingers uncurled and you were able to sit upright. Your head was spinning but you could at least think without the screaming adrenaline of panic.

You couldn’t get out of your room with the ink like this.

The strands were too closely knit together. Pushing your hair back, still shaking, you held it away from your face and tried to think. You’d trapped yourself in the room. But you’d made the ink so maybe you could unmake it too. Holding your palm close to the nearest strand of ink, you closed your eyes and focused. It wouldn’t move and your whole body was shaking.

Your brain was buzzing with panic still. You tried again and were thrown back against the bed, but the ink was gone in a blink. Your hands were aching like you’d been punched right in the palms. They were dark and bruised. But you’d done it. The ink was gone.

Wrapping your arms around your knees, you pressed yourself against the bed.

You had to get a hold of yourself.

What the fuck had just happened?

There was a knock at your door, and you whined, buried your face against your knees, and then took a deep breath. You felt like you could vomit but you managed to get yourself up, vomit free, and made your way to the door. Shaky on your feet, you recognized the monk on the other side. He kept guard outside of Raiden’s chambers. He bowed to you politely as the monks often did.

“Lord Raiden requests your presence.”

“I-I’ll be there in a few… few minutes. I just… I need to get dressed.” You tried not to sound like you had been hysterically sobbing only a few minutes ago. The monk didn’t seem to notice. He bowed and walked away to deliver your message. You leaned against the door after he’d left, taking shaky breaths. You had to calm down.

Liu Kang would have had you meditate so you decided to do just that. You sat on your prayer mat and closed your eyes. Deep breaths. Grounding exercises. You could hear his comforting voice in your head, guiding you along.

In truth, you just wanted to be held.

[haikyuuishete]

Black Jackals has a crush on you|| Headcanon special

Author note: I would like to say thank you to everyone because I have my first 100 followers and I’m very happy that people like my writing (つ﹏⊂) so I introduce you the time skip haikyuu

MAYJOR spoiler to the people who hasn’t read the manga but if those who want to read the manga for free please let me know and I’ll send the link where to read it! Because haikyuu has been postponed because of the virus and most people are egar to watch it so maybe reading the manga might help!

Sooooo thank you to everyone!

You were their manager that worked for them, you brought them food, updated their schedules and even made sure they were in good health and even made sure they were always healthy and have a strong mental state

At first everyone liked you as a friend, Sakusa was distant but treated you like you were apart of the team

It took a while for them to have feelings for you

Shugo came into practice really late because he overslept and apologized to everyone, he didn’t eat at all and didn’t even eat breakfast

You immediately noticed because you heard his stomach grumbling

You had spare time on your hands, you rushed to the nearest store to get him some food

After everyone left to the lockers you stopped him, “you should eat Shugo or you’ll get sick” you were quite small in front of him, ruffling your hair “thank you y/n come I’ll share” “oh you don’t have to-“ “it’s fine come” pulling you to the corner of the gym you two joked around while eating, that sparked something between you well at least to him

Adriah had a hard time pronouncing some words which was understandable, you were there to help because the rest of the team kept teasing him non stop

“Leave poor Adriah alone” you warned the rest then began to tease “what are you gonna do shorty pants?” Atsumu teases, “oh I’ll show you!” You grab a metal spoon “come here Atsumu” you started to chase him with a spoon while he started to laugh like a maniac

After practice Adriah walks up to you, “can you help me practice a bit more and help me with pronouncing?” He asked you, of course you helped him out.

He came by to your apartment and helped him a bit which took a long time but you never minded and even made him dinner

He enjoyed your company quite a lot, he felt kinda connected to you, every night he would come over to have dinner with you

Shion was very calm and collected one, nothing really bothered him unless it was Bokuto’s and Atsumu’s pranks on him, but this is a different case, a interviewer bothered him with his question “why couldn’t you get the ball it was in front of you? That’s not very professional” bothered him the whole day and the team couldn’t cheer him up, he didn’t want to talk to anyone

You got worried, you sat next to him “you know Shion that interviewer is well known to embarrass and even ridicule athletes” you pointed out, “to me the ball was too fast to catch and I know you were analyzing it” passing him a bottle of water, “Don’t let that guy get into your head okay Shion to me you’re an amazing libero” He softens a bit, “Thank you” he rested his head on your shoulder smiling to himself

Bokuto was a piece of work and can get too excited at times but he’s so kind, whenever Atsumu tossed to him it always turned to him over working himself trying to hit the ball full force reddening his hand to deep red and he even worked out only lead his hand to hurt whenever he touched something

You always brought ice packs, “you should be careful!” You scolded him softly holding his hand on your lap as you rest the ice pack on his palm, “I’ll be careful I promise” he whispers pouting a bit not sure if you’re mad at him, at times he can get you super worried, one time Sakusa spiked the ball at his face causing his nose to bleed

“Stay still Kou!” You push his head up trying to stop the bleeding but Bokuto wanted to go back to practice, “you can’t play like this, stop moving!” You playfully hit his shoulder “owww y/n why would you hit meeee!” He’d tease causing you to laugh out loud, he didn’t know why but hearing you laugh always made his day better “your smile is pretty” “thanks Kou” you smile

Atsumu is a pain in the ass, he literally teases and even bicker with you over the littlest things, “SO YOURE TELLING ME THAT MY BROTHER IS WAY HOTTER THAN I AM?!” “Tsumu you two are TWINS you guys look the same!” “ANJEDBBE”

He would always flirt with you non stop which you always brushed it off knowing he’s teasing you

In reality he likes the little reactions he gets from you it’s adorable, he thinks about you all the time, he always had a crush on you

Sakusa got on his nerves once and Atsumu flipped him off and walked off like a pro, which shocked everyone because usually he would say something back

You of course follow him, “Atsumu!” You gently called him over to you, “Sakusa is a meanie” Atsumu laughs at your cuteness, “I know” he pulls you in a hug

He didn’t know how but his anger was all gone just with a single hug form you

“Let’s go eat” “yes!”

Sakusa wasn’t any trouble to handle, whenever you hand him a towel he always smells it , you use his detergent because he’s very strict about it

Every place he goes to, you make sure it’s spotless and sometimes chip in to help clean knowing him he would complain

You always have extra masks for him, extra cleaning wipes

He notices your efforts which he appreciates a lot, sometimes he brings some food for you

“Omi you don’t have to do that” you smiled taking the bag out of his hand, “no you deserve it, you really make an effort for me so thank you”

It brought you two together, he really cares for you and always worry about you at all time, you just make him happy in way he can’t explain

So stand next to him and he will be a content omi

The youngest out of the team Hinata Shoyo, he’s a ball of sunshine and you love being next to him

But unfortunately he doesn’t do good with alcohol at all

The team was celebrating for winning a match everyone was drinking unfortunately Sakusa went home early cause he thinks it’s gross (but you weren’t gross to him)

Hinata was so drunk very drunk and you helped him walk home, Shugo wanted to help because it wasn’t safe for a drunk man to walk with beautiful woman (Shugo hated that you took him home)

Coach stopped him saying he has to take Bokuto and Atsumu home which made him sigh

Bokuto and Atsumu are very dangerous than Hinata

You got to Hinata’s apartment, he was all hazy “y/n I need to change I feel dirty!” “Hinata Wait don’t pass out!” You help him change by closing your eyes

You literally babied him the whole time, he didn’t want to be alone, he didn’t look drunk because he’s talking causally to you

He told you about his high school days which made you stay a little longer because it was interesting

Hinata head was on your lap as he happily told you while you just brush your fingers through his soft locks

After that you had to go home and left him under blanket

The next morning you weren’t next him which made him sad but he was happy that you stayed next to him until he fell asleep

Then jealousy was oozing from each teammate, someone is flirting you

Atsumu and Bokuto shooed them off by one word “bye” with the scariest death glare but turned to you with puppy eyes “y/n let’s go eat!” They would push you to the nearest restaurant

Shugo is literally all over you, he teases you about your height but still a total sweetheart, he makes sure to help you carry heavy stuff, always grumbles at Adriah for helping you first

Since they are the oldest they always have this rivalry but not bad one a playfully one

“Y/n I can help you with that!” They said at the same time “oh too late I got it” Shion grabs the box out your hands walking out with you leaving a glaring older ones behind

Sakusa hated when Bokuto picked you up whenever he was happy it was even worse when Atsumu is just touching your hair

He won’t talk to you the whole day but it won’t last long

Adriah and you always have dinner together and even study (he’s getting better) he loves staring at you as you talked to him, he just adores it

Everyone hates when you baby Hinata, “Hina are you hurt??” “Yes” he pouts like everyone now knows Hinata is very dangerous with his cuteness and bubbly nature

“HINATA BOKE!” Atsumu explodes when he sees him hug you

Shinon stayed the night with you (no not that!) he slept over at your place

You two watched movies together and laid his head on your lap (he did that intentionally) you didn’t mind at all

You two laughed and enjoyed each other’s company as you played with his hair

Atsumu kidnapped you to have quality time with you which didn’t even work because his twin brother tagged along “I will choke you” glaring at his brother “what did you say?” “Nothing y/n!”

Shugo brought you to meet his parents “uhh finally Shugo brought a girl home! She’s quite beautiful!” His mom was all over you

You felt bad so you didn’t say anything to her, Shugo appreciated it but secretly wants you to be his girlfriend oop

Bokuto always makes you set for him while he practices solo which you didn’t really mind and always help and always made sure to bring ice packs for his hand

“Bokuto that’s enough let’s go home”

He liked the way you said that, “okay let’s go!” He drops the ball and grabs your hand dragging you out which made you burst out in laughter

To him your hand fits perfectly in his hand

Sakusa asked you if you wanted to go out to a museum with him which you gladly accepted god it was the best day ever

Museums never had crowds it was perfect, the way you were excited made him excited too, he was hesitant of holding your hand but manned up and did

At first you were surprised but he didn’t even look bothered even though he was panicking in the inside

You two had a pleasant day with each other, a day he will never forget

Atsumu and Sakusa would still bicker but once you come into the room they fight over who will talk to you first “excuse me boys!” Hinata bounces over to you “hey y/n want to go to Miyagi with me to visit?” He asks, you didn’t have the heart to tell him no so you accepted

Atsumu and Sakusa is heard to be grumbling to this day

You and Hinata had the best vacation together, a lot of people mistakenly you as his girlfriend, his little sister didn’t let you go at all and made Hinata jealous of her

Everyone got drunk one night at the hotel and Bokuto was sleeping in your bed, Shugo didn’t want you to stay in that hotel room (Bokuto is dangerous)

You stayed in Shugo’s room instead,he’s a gentleman and slept on the floor, but when you had a nightmare he was the one that calmed you down from it and hugged you all night......

They loved how you cheered for them during games which made them invincible

You would always cooked food for them after a tiring game and Sakusa would never miss it like ever; your food is heaven

It was Christmas and Adriah couldn’t go home because all the planes were booked which meant he was alone for this Christmas, which sadden you a lot “Adriah come celebrate with me!” You smile, he literally combusts and spends Christmas with you and sent it to the team group chat

Everyone sent the middle finger emoji while Adriah was having a blast

Atsumu helped you bake a cake for Shion’s birthday, it was a whole mess it was you sitting on the counter eating the left over icing as he jokes around, he was covered with flour so were you “you look dumb” “you look dumber” you stuck your tongue which made him roll his eyes but in the end of the day it was worth helping

You were sad because of a movie Bokuto was next to you, “don’t be sad y/n it’s just a movie” he pulls you into his chest, “but it’s sad!” “I know” he smile at your childish antics, holding you in his arms felt so right

Their feelings started to run deeper like they couldn’t function without you at their sides

Sakusa woke up because of a dirty dream featured you

He literally jumped out of bed and took a cold shower for 2 hours

During the long rides on the bus you would sit next to Shion and accidentally fell asleep on him which he didn’t mind

The guys glared at him but he ignored them and fell asleep too

Since you were so attractive that they had to have their guards up because every guy you pass will come flirt with you

Hinata got you out of a sticky situation from a guy that was on the opposite team

All them have feelings for you but they won’t confess as long they are sure you have the same feelings for them

And for the team they have a strong bond that won’t break them apart even if losing you was the cost then so be it as long you are happy

[tswaney17]

I Do Bad Things with You - Part 5

Okay, here we go, Part 5. I’m not super happy with this one, but this needed to get pushed out. We are finally moving into more Elriel interactions. I know it’s been a lot of back-and-forth so far, but I had to set up a lot before we really start digging in. You’re going to get a little background history in this update. Please let me know what you think. I love getting feedback. Constructive criticism is always welcome. 💙💚💜

Catch up here:  Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4

Here’s the inspiration for Elain’s Dress, I forgot to add this originally to the last update. 

Credit to @featherymalignancy​ for Cassian’s nickname, Cash. 😘

Trigger warnings: violence, sexual assault, language, NSFW

Word Count: 4,255

“Hello, Elain,” his voice purred, sending shivers down her spine.

She tried to pull out of his grasp but Az held her tighter, keeping her flush against him. “What are you doing here?” she demanded instead.

He spun her around the dance floor, easily flowing through the steps. For a half second, she wondered where he learned to dance like this, but that thought was drowned out when he said, “I’m the head sponsor of Rhys and Feyre’s Home for Under Privilege Children.”

Now that he mentioned it, she did remember seeing “Knight Securities” as the leading donor, but she never thought he’d actually show up here. “That’s not what I meant and you know it. Why are you here, dancing with me?”

Az’s lips quirked up. “Is it so wrong of me to want to dance with you?” His eyes traveled down her neck, her chest, all the way to the floor and slowly back up again. He took in the plunging neckline, the slit that showed off her toned leg. “You look beautiful, Elain,” he murmured, voice like honey.

She hated that his voice made warmth pool in her belly. Hated even more that she blushed from her cheeks down her chest. Shaking her head, she looked down towards their feet. “You don’t get to say things like that to me. Not anymore,” she whispered.

“I’m not allowed to tell you you’re beautiful?”

The humor in his voice made fire burn in her veins. Her head snapped up. “No.”

His mouth pressed into a thin line, his only show of his annoyance. He twirled them again, her dress floating around them exposing more of her leg. “Fair enough. Let’s talk about something else. Rhys tells me you were engaged.”

She froze, pulling him to a stop in the middle of the dance floor. “I’m gonna kill him.”

Az’s hand slid from her hip to her lower back, urging her into movement again. “Why did you break up?”

At that, her eyes locked with his. His face was carefully neutral but he couldn’t mask his eyes. Because in those hazel irises, ire burned hotter than the lick of an open flame. His scarred hand gripped hers tighter. “You already know why. I can see it in your eyes. You’ve always been good about concealing your face, Azriel, but your eyes give you away.”

He ran his tongue over his teeth. “Tell me his name,” he ordered.

“Fuck off Azriel,” she hissed, pushing away from him.

He reached out, gripping her wrist. “Elain-”

She whirled, “Don’t! Don’t start with me.” Her voice cracked as she tried to rein in her tears.  

“He hurt you.”

Elain scoffed. “Yeah, well so did you.”

His eyes darkened. “Not like that, I didn’t. Not physically.”

“I felt it physically.” She laid a hand over her heart. “Here.”

A defeated look passed over his face and his gripped slackened on her wrist. He sighed, “Just tell me his name. Let me help.”

Her face contorted in anger. “I don’t need or want your help Azriel.”

“Elain-”

“Stop!” she shouted causing people to turn and look at them. “Just stop. Don’t think I don’t know why you want to know his name. I hate him, Azriel. Believe me, I do. But you don’t get to fight my battles. Just leave me alone.”

“So, you’re fine with him living a normal life? That he doesn’t deserve to be punished?”

She scoffed again. “The same way you handled the robbers from the bank?”

He blinked at her. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

Elain rolled her eyes. “Don’t lie to me Azriel. The cops came to the hospital to have me identify the tattoo on one of the robbers. They were shot point blank,” her voice was raising again.

“Keep your voice down,” he hissed, grabbing her by the elbow and dragging her out of the ballroom and into an empty corridor.

“Get your hands off me!” she snapped, using her other hand to beat on his bicep as he dragged her. When the door to the ballroom closed behind them, Elain planted her feet, forcing him to stop and look back at her. Grabbing her wrist that he held with her other hand, she yanked out of his grasp, throwing her elbow up and connected with his nose.

“Fuck!” he bellowed, grabbing his nose as red liquid poured down to his lips. He turned his head and spit blood on the marble floor.

Elain shoved his chest and he stumbled, eyes going wide. “You listen here, Azriel Knight. I am not your girlfriend anymore. You manhandle me again and you’re going to find out how it feels to get throat punched. Leave. Me. Alone,” she demanded, enunciating every word. Turning on her heel, she left him standing in the hallway, staring after her.

As he stood there, watching her in a flourish of skirts walk out of his life, he failed to notice the red-headed woman watching from the dark corner of the hallway, a wicked grin painted on her ruby lips.

~~~~~

Az wiped blood from under his nose. He was still in shock watching Elain walk away from him. Like he did to her all those years ago. He sighed, gently prodding at the tender flesh. He hissed when pain shot through his face and down his body. He knew it wasn’t broken, but he’d likely have a bruised face within a couple of hours.

That move though. He knew only one person would’ve taught her that move. And he was in this very hotel.

Az stalked back into the ballroom, wiping the blood he felt dripping from his nose again, eyes searching for his brother. He found him standing with the rest of their family, a glass of whiskey in his hand. He moved towards them, prowling with a purpose, like there was a darkness roiling within and around him. People seemed to actively move out of his way.

Cash saw him coming and barely handed his drink off to Nesta before he shoved him.

“Az!” Nesta shouted.

He shoved Cash again. “You neglected to tell me, brother, that you taught her some self-defense moves.”

Hazel eyes, near twin to his own, flashed. “If she had to use one on you, you probably deserved it, brother,” he spat.

“What did you do to my sister,” Nesta demanded, pushing herself between the two full-blooded Illyrians.

Rhys reached out, tugging him backwards by the shoulder but he shrugged off the touch.  

Stormy-gray eyes found his. Out of all of his family, Nesta was the only one who made him pause. She was a storm to be reckoned with. Could hurl barbed words and insults without even blinking. Not to mention that she had a powerful law firm to back her up. “What did you do?” she snarled.

“She’s the one who almost broke my nose and I’m getting the third-degree,” he deadpanned.

Nesta stepped forward, hands clenching at her sides. “I swear to god, Azriel, if you hurt her, I will kill you myself.”

“Did you apologize for your fight the other day?” Rhys interjected.

Sharp grey eyes turned towards his brother. “What fight?”

When he didn’t respond, Cash explained to Nesta the details of the robbery. What Az had done to try and protect her.

“What happened tonight?” Feyre finally asked. “What set her off to do that to you?”

He sighed, running a hand through his hair. “I asked about her ex.”

“You what?” Nesta screeched, lunging at him.

Cash caught her around the waist, pulling his snarling wife against him. “Easy, Nes.”

People were staring at them now. Not subtly trying to watch, but full on gaping at their little group.

She whirled on her husband. “You knew he was going to do this?” she accused, poking him hard in the chest. “You let him do this.”

“Nes, sweetheart. They are both adults. I don’t let them do anything. They need to deal with this on their own.”

She whirled back on Az. “Why would you bring that up? Why are you even interfering in her life?”

Her accusatory tone lit a fire in his blood. “Because you all seem to be okay with what he got as his punishment. I don’t accept that,” he snapped, unable to control that coldness within him.

“Hey!” It was Rhys’ harsh voice that silenced the group. Violence danced in those violet eyes. “Don’t you dare accuse us of not caring that he only got three-months jail time. None of us are happy about it. But if Elain wanted it to be more, she would’ve done something about it.” When he was about to rebuttal, Rhys stopped him. “This is her decision, Azriel. Her choice. We don’t like it but we accept that it’s not up to us. And it’s not up to you. So, let. It. Go.”

He shook his head, not wanting to give up on this. But looking at their inner circle, he knew he was outnumbered and going down this path would likely break the fragile relationship he still had with his family. He sighed. “Fine. I’ll drop it.”

Feyre stepped forward, handing him a tissue. “Here, your nose is still bleeding.”

He tried smiling, but ended up wincing as the muscles pulled at his sensitive nose. “Thanks, Fey.” He looked back at Rhys. “I’m going home.”

“Probably a good idea. Might want to get ice on that before it starts to bruise,” Rhys smirked though it didn’t reach his eyes. “Damn she got you good.”

“Good,” Nesta muttered.

“Nes,” Cash warned. She glared at her husband before stalking off for the bar area.

Cassian sighed. “Ignore her, she’s just concerned about Ellie.”

Hearing her nickname coming from his brother’s lips made something ache in his chest, but he pushed down that pain and nodded. “I’ll see you guys later.” He turned, heading out of the ballroom and back to the parking lot where Cerridwen was waiting for him.

She eyed him and the bloody tissue but wisely didn’t mention it. “Hello, Sir,” she greeted, opening his door for him. “Where to?”

“Thank you, Cerridwen. Back to the penthouse.”

She nodded, shutting his door and climbed into the driver’s seat.

The drive home was silent. Without his permission, his thoughts went on a rampage. Reliving the conversation he had with Elain tonight. Running a hand through his hair, he gripped the ends, giving it a tug. Fuck, he needed a drink. Or a smoke. He had no idea that one woman could cause him such distress, but she sure as hell fit the bill.

Life forced her to be strong. To overcome so much pain. He’d be lying to himself if he thought that he wasn’t making it worse for her—it wasn’t his intention and he didn’t want to stop trying to make things right with her. She deserved that much at least. But she clearly didn’t want it, so perhaps, he was better off disappearing from her life altogether again.

To think, he did everything in his power to try and prevent anything from happening to her. Gave up the best thing in his life because she deserved better than the future he could offer her.

And it still wasn’t enough.

~~~~~

Az was working on the finishing touches to Elain’s graduation present. This beautiful metal flower he made himself out of the scrap materials around the repair garage. It was to hang in her dorm room when she left for college. The garage had closed an hour ago, but his boss said he could stay late to finish up his project. It was already dark out when he heard the door to the office open and close.

“We’re closed!” he called, grabbing a rag to wipe the grease from his scarred hands. He thought it might be one of his brothers coming to check on him, but the footsteps sounded wrong. When he turned, it wasn’t either of his adopted brothers standing in the doorway.

No. It was one of his biological half-brothers.

The ones he ran away from after they mutilated his hands and tortured him.

His heartbeat quickened, but he steeled his voice. “You’re not supposed to be here.”

His oldest brother, Alec, clicked his tongue. “Oh Az,” he mocked. “Did you really think a piece of paper was going to protect you?”

Rhys’ parents filed a restraining order after they took Az in. Against his father, step-mother, and three brothers. For the abuse he suffered at their hands.

He took another step into his workspace and Az took a hesitant step back. His brother was twenty-five years old, to his barely eighteen, and had at least twenty pounds of muscle on him. Though he was taller than Alec, his teenage body was still fairly lanky.

Alec grinned in challenge at his retreating footstep. “You may be a bastard, but you’re still expected to join the family business.”

The family business. His father was a high-ranking official in the Illyrian mob. He had no desire to get into that business. He swallowed hard, hoping his nervousness wouldn’t show in his voice. “I’m heading into the military. They expect me next week. If I don’t show, they’ll send people for me.”

“Ah, I did hear a whispering of that. Do you really think they’d take a worthless piece of shit like you?”

“I got in, didn’t I?” he challenged back. He had passed all the tests and physicals required. He’d be lying if he said he wasn’t concerned about the physicals. The abuse his body suffered as a kid could’ve prevented him from passing. He was grateful that it didn’t.

“Because you’re expendable.”

He tried not to flinch at the taunt, but his brother was too observant and saw how it struck a nerve.

His lip curved up. “It’d be a shame if something happened to your little girlfriend while you were away.”

His head snapped up, hazel eyes flashing. “Leave her out of this,” he growled, fists clenching at his sides.

“What was her name again? Oh, that’s right, Elain,” his brother purred.

“You touch her, Alec, you so much as look in her direction and I’ll kill you,” he snarled.

The smirk on his brother’s face vanished, replaced by a cold, calculating look. “That’s a pretty big threat for someone who’s going to be thousands of miles away.” A lethal smile returned to his face. “I wonder how good she’ll be riding my cock when you’re away? I hope she likes it rough because I know the boys will just love having her around for their pleasure.”

White hot rage burned down into his soul and he launched himself at his brother, swinging and connected with his jaw.

Alec took the hit, falling back into the workbench, but that was all he took. He shoved Az back, punching him in the gut and knocking the wind out of him. When he doubled over, his brother grabbed his shoulders and slammed his knee into his side. Az hit the ground, knocking over a tray of tools in the process, his head smacking the concrete floor. Dazed, he couldn’t do anything as Alec straddled his waist and wrapped his hands around his neck.

Az clawed at his brother’s hands, which only made his brother laugh at the mangled scars.

He leaned over, whispering in his ear like a lover would. “Should I let you watch as we take turns with her?”

He tried bucking his hips, but Alec only settled more of his weight on him and tightened his grip on Az’s neck. Strangled sounds came out of his throat. His vision blurred and he realized, he was going to die if he didn’t get him off. And if he died, he couldn’t protect Elain from them. Reaching out a hand, he snatched a screwdriver on the floor, and plunged it into the side of Alec’s neck.

Blood sprayed over his face, neck, and chest.

His brother choked, rolling off of him and onto his back. The gurgling sound of blood was the last thing he heard him make before his eyes rolled into the back of his skull and his body went limp on the floor.

Breathing heavy, Az lurched for the nearest trashcan and hurled up the contents of his stomach. He heaved and heaved until nothing but bile came out.

After the retching subsided, he looked back at his very dead brother on the floor. Panic flooded him. He would get kicked out of the military. He’d go to prison. His father would send his crew after him.

Or worse, Elain.

No! He wouldn’t let that happen.

With shaking hands, Az pulled his phone from his pocket and called the one person he knew would know what to do. Swallowing hard, he clicked on the number in his contacts. “Hey, it’s Azriel.” His eyes darted to the body on the floor. “I need your help.”

~~

Thirty minutes later, he heard a car door shut and the front door of the shop opened up.

“Azriel?” Kier’s voice echoed in the empty garage.

He wiped under his nose, blinking to stop the tears from flowing down his face. Clenching his fists to try and stop the shaking. “In here,” he called, voice cracking.

He heard his footsteps before Kier peered around the corner.

His eyes immediately found Az’s, looking him over closely then turned to look at the body, still lying on the cold floor. “What happened?”

Az took a gasping breath. “He threatened Elain. We fought. He tried to strangle me.” He took another breath, trying to calm his racing heart. “I grabbed a screw driver and impaled him in the throat.”

Kier walked over to Az, gripping him by the back of the shirt. “Get up. Off the floor.”

He stumbled to an upright position, his legs wobbling nervously.

“Pull yourself together. If you lose your shit, you’re gonna get caught.”

He nodded, wiping the tears that still fell down his face, embarrassed to be crying in front of the head of the Velaris Mob.

“Why did you call me?” Kier demanded.

He swallowed the lump in his throat. “Because I knew you would know what to do.”

“I’m a mobster, Az. Not a charity case.”

“Please,” he begged. “Please, I need your help. I have no idea what to do.”

Kier sneered. “Stop begging. You’re a grown-ass man, Azriel. And right now, you’re going to learn how things work in this world.” He looked back at Alec’s body. “Let me tell you how this is going to go. I’ll help you cover up this body. Get rid of any traces that you are the reason that the eldest son of the Illyrian Mob Boss is dead.”

“Thank you-”

“I’m not finished,” he snapped. He gripped his shoulder, squeezing almost to the point of pain. “I’ll clean up this mess, but it’s going to cost you.”

Eyes widened, he asked, “What do you want?”

Kier’s answering smirk could only be described as predatory. “You. I want you, Azriel. In my crew.”

All the thoughts eddied out of his head. Kier wanted him to join the Velaris mob? “Why?”

“What better way to shove it to dear ol’ dad than to join his opposing crew?” His eyes travelled back down his body, and Az repressed shuddering under that scrutinizing gaze. “You’re going to go into the military. You’re going to get trained and an education on whatever the fuck you want. But when you return, you will join my crew. You will learn to slaughter. You will learn to lie and deceive and to spy. And then you will bring that back with you to me. Otherwise, I’ll leave you here to pick up the pieces of your mistake. And I’ll make sure your father knows who killed his precious son.”

Az looked up into Kier’s dark eyes. This wasn’t the life he wanted. He had no desire to join a gang of sorts. To follow in the footsteps of his father. But looking back at his now dead brother, perhaps that was exactly the future he deserved. To bathe in blood and gore. To bring down sorrow upon those who harm or threaten the ones he loves.

Because at the end of the day. He was his father’s son.

“And if I don’t?”

“Then your father will make good on the threats to your precious little girlfriend.”

Kier knew he had him. That he would do anything he wanted if it meant keeping Elain safe. “I’ll join you on one condition.”

He raised a brow. “You’re conditioning me?”

Feeling bolder than before, he nodded. “Yes. My condition is that you keep Elain and my family safe while I’m away. Look out for them when I cannot.”

The older man grinned. “I’ll do you one better. Not only will they have my protection, but I’ll even let your father believe that my crew killed Alec.”

He raised a brow. “Why would you lie?”

“Is it a lie? Technically you are in my crew if you choose the hand I’ve laid out for you. Plus, I’d like to take credit for bringing down the Second in Command of the Illyrian mob. Makes us look better.” There was a flicker of darkness in his eyes that terrified him.

Az debated, weighing all his options. He knew it was a lose-lose choice for him, but only one kept her safe. Finally, he stuck his hand out. “Deal.”

Kier’s lips quirked up, shaking his hand. “Welcome to the Velaris mob.” He looked back at the body growing cold on the floor. “Here’s what you’re going to do. Go home, clean up. Burn everything that you’re wearing. And keep your lips shut. I don’t want anyone knowing about our little deal here, especially not Rhys’ father.”

He nodded, glancing back at his dead half-brother. “You don’t need any help?” he asked, indicating towards his body.

Kier cocked an eyebrow. “Do you want to help?”

Az blanched. “Not particularly.”

“I didn’t think so. Now scram so I can get this taken care of.”

“Thank you, Kier,” he started, heading towards the door.

He heard a hmph, and then an, “Oh, Az.”

Turning back, he looked at the man who he considered an uncle. A very distant, complete asshole of an uncle, but an uncle non-the-less. “Yes?”

“This life,” in dictated between the two of them, “it doesn’t bode well for the ones we love. I don’t see her fitting in well and will likely be a liability for you.”

His blood froze. He knew what he was trying to say, but he needed to hear the words. “What are you getting at?” he snapped with more force than he intended.

His uncle simply shot him a look at the tone. “I’m saying that unless you want Elain’s blood on your hands, you’ll break it off with her before it’s too late.”

It is too late, he thought to himself, looking down at the metal wallflower he made for her—as he remembered the rings he had been looking at online.

Without another word, Az picked up the metal artwork and left, dropping the wallflower in a garbage bin on his way out. He knew Kier was right. That Elain would be better off without him, without this mess he created. Knowing he would never love another woman like he loved her, Az made a vow to himself as he drove home.

He would do anything to keep her safe. Because Elain hating him forever was better than her being dead.

When his adrenalin finally faded, a sob tore out of his chest. Tomorrow, after graduation, he was going to break her heart.

Breaking his own, in the process.

~~~~~

Az woke with a gasp, lurching up out of bed. Sweat was running down his face, neck, and back. He took short, panting breaths, trying to shake off the feeling of the dream. His hands still felt sticky with the blood of his brother, Alec.

He shot out of bed, barely making it to the toilet before he puked, his body contracting with the movement.

When he finished, he flushed, leaning back against the porcelain of the bathtub—the coolness a stark contrast to his flushed, sweaty skin. He hadn’t had that dream in years. He buried it deep within himself, to hide it from everyone. His brothers to this day still don’t know the reason why he joined Kier’s crew. Better for them to believe he was a monster than try and interfere with his life and get swept up in this shit-show.

He pushed everyone away. He isolated himself to keep everyone around him safe. Sometimes he wished he’d just let Alec kill him all those years ago. Because being dead sounded more appealing than living like this.

Forever alone, holding people at arm’s length. Never fucking a woman more than a night or two so as to not get attached.

Sitting utterly naked on the floor of his bathroom, Az propped his elbows on his knees, rested his forehead against his arms and let himself grieve.

Grieve for everything he had given up.

Grieve for the pain he put everyone through.

Grieve for the life he so desperately wanted, but could never have.

In the early morning hours, the big, bad Mob Boss of Velaris, sat there on his bathroom floor and cried until exhaustion pulled him back into a black, dreamless slumber.

~~~~~

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[simp-4-kylo]

Could I request some soft Ben Solo hc’s? Just like, your life together and some domestic fluff? TY! 🥺👉👈 ❤️

yes!! I live for soft Ben Solo!! I honestly just live for Ben Solo in general and he deserved better, PERIODT! Okay please enjoy and indulge on whats below! 

Quick side note!! I will be updating more this month!! I will get to some of my older requests first, and I’m sorry if I haven’t gotten to yours yet!! I do them in what order my brain thinks is best. You all know I want to give you my best, rather than getting stuff out that I don’t feel confident about. Much love <3 

P.S- I am working on a masterlist! So look for that in the coming weeks.

UNDERCUT!!! 

There is nothing more that Ben enjoys than spending time with you. He will take every waking moment he has and run to find you. 

Sometimes he’ll find you in a nearby field with the younger kids, you loved watching over them and playing with them. 

Ben smiled at the sight of you in a long summer dress, hearing the birds chirp and the sounds of children giggling. 

When you turned around you smiled at the sight of Ben just standing there in awe of you. With the smile still plastered on your face you pointed to Ben and told the younger ones to go “attack him”

They all loved when Ben would come around, he was tall and muscular so he was very easy to climb and swing off of, and Ben would be lying if he said he hated it. 

Once the sun would start to set and the little ones would start to yawn and rub their eyes, Ben would pick up as many as he could carry whether it was on his shoulders or have a strong hold around them, with one under each arm. 

You and Ben would make your way back towards the base where the rest of resistance was stationed at. 

Once all the little kids hugged you and Ben goodnight and ran to their homes to go to sleep. Ben would pull you close to his body and wrap his arms around you, he would sway with you in the musky night air.

He would grab your hand with his bigger one and lead you to your shared home, you and Ben were the youngest couple to have a shared home and not even be married.

Everyone in the resistance knew you two were destined to be together, Han and Leia knew that Ben loved you more than anything so of course when Ben approached his parents asking them if you two could live together they smiled and said yes. 

Once you arrived home, Ben went to go change out of his grimy training gear he had on. He would come back in some black sweats and a grey shirt. 

He always found you cooking dinner in the kitchen, he would walk over to you and stand behind you with his arms wrapped around your waist while you were stirring some soup.

Once the dinner was done, Ben grabbed two bowls from the cabinet that was too tall for you to reach. You never liked that the bowls were high up because you couldn’t ever reach them, but Ben liked when you would come to him asking for something as simple as reaching up to get a bowl because you were too small. 

Once you two had filled the bowls, you made your way to your shared backyard. It was more of a garden than a backyard. You loved planting different flowers and fruits. Ben could watch you all day, kneeling on the dirt and pulling at the roots of different plants. 

Ben had build a small pond with a little water fountain on the other side, it wasn’t anything huge but it was just big enough for the two of you to sit in the cold water on hotter days. 

The smell of native flowers filled the air as Ben sat down in the grass near the tree by the walkway. (Does that make sense ?? Lmao idk landscaping)

He patted his lap, a signal for you to come sit in his lap. You both ate dinner in silence. Just enjoying being in each others company. 

Ben rarely had days off, and if he wasn’t training, working on something around the base, helping the pilots, then he was with you. 

Gosh he wanted to be with you forever, he hated that you would stress when he went away on missions, never knowing if he would make it back.

He would always kiss you on the head and say “My sweet thing, there is nothing in this Galaxy that could take me away from you. I will always come back to you.”