#they could have made it a special 10th anniversary edition but i feel like they would've missed the zeitgeist

[inklingofadream]

they should've done an "enhanced/remastered edition" DVD of Shrek 2 in ~2012, identical to the original release but Fiona's "Sir Justin" poster has been changed from a picture of Justin Timberlake to a picture of Justin Bieber

[things-about-cars-in-posts]

Talk to us more about miatas. The sillies

There's so much I could say about it, but I feel like a nice thing to do is to start from Miataland, the wonderful place I alluded to in my kei car post (you really ought to read that section before this post) - or more specifically its collection, for despite being some half-hundred Miatas, it's not monotonous at all.

While sure, there is some bit of "this one's a different color!" going on (which I definitely can't say I understand, but being a collector often comes with being a completionist), the bulk of the collection is extremely varied - not least because the above is just the first of the four generation the Miata has been sold for.

Well, more accurately the MX-5, since that's the only official name that lasted all throughout, with the American "Mazda Miata" being ditched by the third generation in favor of MX-5 and the Japanese "Eunos Roadster" name turning to "Mazda Roadster" with the second generation since the Eunos brand got nixed. And every generation, known by the two-letter codes that represent the model in their chassis number (VIN for yankees) that span from NA to ND, has further changes within it!

The NB, seen left in the beautiful 10th Anniversary Edition, received interior and exterior updates in 2001, seen right in the rare Mazdaspeed Turbo edition, one of the extremely few factory turbo Miatas (leave it to Mazda to turbocharge a sportscar engine and manage to gain only 26hp out of it) - and, being more of a huge update of the NA than a new car, it retained the two engines, the 1.8L that many have because they say it's the better engine and the 1.6L that many say is the better engine because it's the one they have (though updating the 1.8 with Variable Valve Timing for, in other markets, more power, and, in the US, less more power).

The NC did it one better - not only did it get an exterior refresh and two engines -1.5 and 2.0- but it even had different tops, with an optional "PRHT" electric metal top that further cemented its reputation as a big fat boat of a Miata, for its outrageous increase in size (two inches all around) and weight (up to 90kg or 200lb). No, seriously. This generation is actually extremely overlooked, so much so that Andrea, the owner of this whole shebang, only has two (which I do appreciate is quite an insane sentence). But that means you can scoop one up for not that much, and I do recommend it!

The ND, instead, is quite the enthusiast's darling - how many cars these days get smaller and lighter with a newer generation? How many cars out there are no bigger nor heavier now than thirty years ago? Oh and also just look at it. Once again, a refresh (i.e. "The lights are 'new', the mirror's bigger, and there's a software update! Please care :)") was just unveiled, and you can get them in 1.5 and 2.0 flavor and optionally with the "RF" hardtop on the left. Well, not those two you can't, because the one on the right is the only example of the 300-unit 30th Anniversary Edition in Italy, and if you think Mr. Miataland can't flex harder on the Corvette dads of America who insist theirs is super rare because of that specific year (that is no different from the others) with that specific combination of options (that is in no way special) with that (random) color they only made 503 (and yes there's many people like that), the other car in this picture is a 1-of-1 Miataland edition. I should clarify: he didn't just make up his own special edition; Mazda asked him to make up his own special edition for them to build for him to celebrate his collection. Which, I want to stress, Andrea is not at all vain about. And props to him because if that happened to me I cannot fathom being humble about it.

Hell I am not humble about having sat in this M2 (IT'S INCREDIBLE!!!! IT FEELS NEW IT SMELLS NEW), imagine owning one PAIR.

Which also makes an important point: the Miata is probably one of the cars they made the most special editions of. I mean, G-limited, R-Limited, S-Special, S-Limited, RS-Limited, SR-Limited, VR-Limited A, VR-Limited B, Tokyo Limited, V-Spec II, 93LE, BBR Turbos and of course the M2 1001, 1002 and 1028. And want a kicker? Have three: those are just the first generation ones, and just the ones he owns because there's some he's missing, and they're not even all the special first generation Miatas he has - because we've not even gotten to modifications.

From fiddling with the engine as per the supercharged one in the foreground or outright replacing it as per the 5.0L V8 (!) one in the background...

...to completely altering its shape by way of changing bumpers and lights, as per this Pitcrew kit-adorned example...

...to just fucking making it an extremely bad Ferrari 250 GTO... replica? It's so far off I can't even tell if it's sincerely trying.

And such modifications are genuinely innumerable. I could hit the image limit just with full-transformation body kits for the first generation Miata, let alone all the weird bumpers, side skirts, spoilers, mirrors et al across all of them!

And that's the thing about the Miata - it can go in so many directions and will take it just fine. That's what they mean when they say Miata Is Always The Answer (M.I.A.T.A.): classy old roadster cruiser?

Miata! Get the Nakamae quilted interior bits and any of the plethora of chrome accessories and you're good to go! Barebones weapon?

Miata! The existence of CarbonMiata alone is proof enough that you'll have no problem sourcing weight reduction bits. Serious track car?

Miata! Even a stock one will be competent in autocross (oh right, we're trying to be accessible: "What If We Pretended This Parking Lot Was A Racetrack? We Have Cones!") and you're going to spend six digits before you run out of possible upgrades. Silly track car?

Miata! The thing is so small and light that you can just upgrade it with stock components from bigger cars, and they made a million of 'em (not hyperbole) so even if the bit you're looking for isn't one of the plenty used in many other cheap cars it will still be in plentiful supply. Drift car?

Miata! Obviously you can get drift modifications for it, it's one of the cheapest rear wheel drive sportscars out there. You can use a stock one or go as hard as you want, DestroyOrDie makes front suspension components that allow for more angle and of course every suspension you could want is available. Rally car?

Miata! This is an actual 90s picture, they even used a couple for ice racing! Rock climber?

Miata! Paco Motorsport makes a lift kit for them and the owner of the one in picture, Jimmy Has No Garage, also sells a kit they codeveloped with Godspeed Project, and that's just to talk about off-the-shelf solutions! Four seater?

Okay, maybe that's a bit of a stretch. Pun intended.

And again, please note: all these are just the first generation.

The Miata really is an insanely versatile car that was so beloved all over the world all through the years that from the most outlandish to the most minute every part of it has been taken in every imaginable direction, most often by people who dedicated their lives to it. The enthusiastic curiosity it oozes has thoroughly proven contagious.

And throughout the years it remains determined to get to experience more adventures! You find a ton of them that racked up hundreds of thousands of miles with nothing but a happy owner to show for them. Road and Track notably bought one with some 350k miles and were, shall we say, impressed.

(How's that car going now? Who knows, they put it up for sale after eight years and a car chase) Like I like to say of many old Japanese cars, it'll keep going until it dissolves. Its only real problem is it's very prone to dissolving, so look out for rust.

And now, since today is Halloween, y'all have a chance to scare me for good: I have a list of modifications I would do to a Miata were I to own one. (And have lots of money. (And lots of time. (And a clue how to turn a wrench. (And probably other requirements I am forgetting about.)))) It is an extremely, extremely long list. Like, over a hundred items long. WAY too long for one post. Probably too long for a chain of ten. Where was I going with this? Huh, I must have been thinking out loud again. Anyhow, here's a poll. It boosts engagement!

Links in blue are posts of mine about the words in question - if you liked this post, you might like those!

[themattress]

If I may vent a little...

Now that we are upon the 10th anniversary of the end of Pokémon's fifth generation and the dawning of its sixth, which also means the end of the Best Wishes anime series and start of the XY anime series, I have thoughts and feelings I wish to express. I still love Best Wishes for what it is, and respect XY for what it is, and will forever tout that both of them were crucial stepping stones in the anime producers' learning curve toward the greatness of the Tomiyasu era we're enjoying today (well, we who have good taste in Pokémon cartoon shows, anyway).

........With that said. Thinking about what they could have been really pisses me off.

As I've covered before, Best Wishes was planned as a Black/White-based series where every major running plot thread would ultimately converge in the third year and result in a games-inspired finale at the Unova League. Ash's quest to collect badges from the Gym Leaders, Iris' character arc and the Village of Dragons, Cilan's position as a Pokémon Connoisseur who evaluates how trainers have brought up their Pokémon, Team Rocket's covert military operation to conquer Unova, the legend of Reshiram and Zekrom / the Heroes of Truth and Ideal, and of course Team Plasma....all of that was to form a greater whole, and it would have been revolutionary for the anime. Unfortunately, Game Freak decided they were in the mood for doing something revolutionary themselves: making full-on sequels Black 2/White 2 rather than the expected Gray edition. This single-handedly destroyed the writers' big plan for the anime series, meaning the plot threads would remain mostly segregated.

And as much of a shame as this is, it couldn't be helped. What absolutely could have been helped, though, was how the third year unfolded even with the separate plot threads. @ultraericthered nailed it in this post - we could have had a Unova League that, while not entirely satisfying, is a step above the mess we ended up getting; we could have had Iris' arc come back in more meaningful ways than just some random filler arc episode with Clair and a post-series special episode tying into it; and we absolutely could have had the Myth Arc hodgepodge of BW/B2W2 material fleshed out into something that was truly great and that lasted the duration of the year. I love Episode N in a bottle, but when I step back and look at it in relation to the greater whole it aggravates me so much. The third year of Best Wishes that we ended up with aggravates me so much! Because there was no good reason for it to be as mediocre as it is; it only happened because Junichi Masuda started on the whole "worldwide release for new gen games on this specific date" trend that the franchise has suffered from ever since. And as a result, we get the year / season (called "Adventures in Unova - and Beyond!" in the international dub) that does little but provide all the valid justification that Best Wishes haters in the online fandom ever needed to justify their hate.

Speaking of which, both the fuckery that Best Wishes' production went through and the online fan hatred for it helped shape the following XY series into being the way it was: the darling of the online fan community but the bane of the Japanese target demographic...and thus the producers due to the free-falling ratings. And I can't help but imagine: what if things went differently? What if we had a series where Ash wasn't hamfistedly turned into the power fantasy his rabid online standom wanted him to be, if Serena wasn't in love with him and like her Pokémon Adventures manga counterpart pursued Sky Battles as her goal rather than Showcases (which makes infinitely more sense given that it's rebelling against her mother pushing Rhyhorn Racing on her and helps make her far less of a retread of May and Dawn), if the early kinks in Clemont and Bonnie's characters were ironed out and their father being a masked superhero made to actually matter, if Team Rocket's zanyness was reigned in and they were allowed to have more carryovers from Best Wishes while still keeping their humorous qualities, and above all: if Alain and Mairin's journey wasn't confined to four occasional side-specials but was the subject of entire episodes? Yes, what if the show had Alain as a dual protagonist and actually rotated his and Ash's stories on a regular basis, which would create less filler and build even more hype for when they cross paths? That would have been absolutely amazing, and set a natural precedent for Ash not being as much "the lead" as he used to be that gets followed up in Sun & Moon where he's part of a large ensemble and Journeys where he and Goh are co-leads side by side. The third year where everything comes together, XY&Z, would have been made even stronger this way and made the series as a whole even more cohesive. I honestly wouldn't dare argue the XY series was overrated if that was the XY series we got! I'd be right there in the chorus singing its praises!

But alas, we got a series where Ash was hamfistedly turned into the power fantasy his rabid online standom wanted him to be, where Serena was in love with him and she pursued Showcases as her goal because the writers wanted to do the May/Dawn formula again except far more gendered this time, where Clemont and Bonnie suffered early kinks in their characters and their father being a masked superhero was absolutely pointless, where Team Rocket suffered a drop in relevancy and competence while behaving crazy to an irritating degree, and where Alain and Mairin only got the four occasional side-specials prior to their involvement in XY&Z which helped make the preceding two years a pandering, formulaic and largely aimless slog. As such, it ended up as just another stepping stone to greatness rather than something great in of itself; forever stuck in the shadow of what it could have been.

Well, I've vented. Now to loop back around to end things on a positive note.

[putschki1969]

December 17: Kalafina Acitivities & Ambient Border -DAWN- Pre-Event Report

Tweet 1 & 2 by Hikaru | Instagram post by Hikaru

Finally have some time to sit down and post a little. I did tweet a few pictures here and there so if you follow me you will already know what I have been up to. But I have been feeling too exhausted to actually make proper posts. With such a busy schedule, it’s really no surprise that I keep falling into bed as soon as I get back to the hotel. Today was a more or less relaxed shopping day so I got back early.

After arriving in Japan on December 16 and having a pretty hectic first day, I spent December 17 doing a ton of Kalafina-related stuff. Was wearing a HiKei-inspired outfit to match the occasion and of course I brought my Cakey-beret which I won during her fan club lottery. Feels so nice to wear it here in Japan.

A fellow Kalafina-fan was kind enough to accompany me on some of my Kalafina activities. I get lost quite easily so I am always grateful to have someone around who knows the area.

Kalafina Pinky Ring: FINALLY!! I have been waiting for this opportunity FOREVER! The ring is so much prettier than the one they came up with for their 10th Anniversary. Also, they actually wore this themselves. Quite religiously back then. Keiko wears hers regularly up until this day! The other day Hikaru also wore it for Keiko’s birthday live broadcast. I am sure Wakana still owns hers as well.I have always wanted this ring but in the past I was too stingy and then the pandemic happened and I really didn’t wanna order something this pricey online. So yeah, first thing on my list was the AHKAH store. Best Christmas present ever! Is it weird that I kinda feel married to them now? XD Haha, okay, maybe “married” is not the right word. Oh well.I guess you could say that I am feeling a very strong connection now. Even stronger than before.

PIERRE HERMÉ cake: We all know that Hikaru surprised Keiko with a special chocolate cake on her birthday. It was actually quite easy to figure out where she got it from so of course I had to get one. It’s affordable and pretty small so I was able to finish it within a few days. Since it was a special limited Christmas edition, it tasted a LOT like Christmas. Very gingerbread-y with a hint of jam. Delicious!

Meguro River: I’ve never actually been to Meguro river so I thought I’d check out some of the spots that Hikaru had visited. One day I wanna see the cherry blossoms. I kinda regret not coming at night because there seems to be some sort of nice illumination thingy going on there...Oh well...maybe next time.

Ambient Border -DAWN-: Still can’t believe how easy it was to get a ticket for this. Was a bit intimidated by the TIGET service at first but it turned out to be quite convenient. Simple payment and you get a digital ticket. Had no issues with it. Seems like it was on a first-come-first-serve basis because depending on how early you bought your ticket the lower your number was. People were then allowed to enter the venue in order of their number to find a good spot. Thank God they provided chairs! Wouldn’t have liked standing for this event. Anyway, my number was 41 and I ended up on an aisle seat a few rows away from the stage. Pretty much had a clear view. I chose the Christmas ticket so I got a little A4-sized character card as present. Also bought the pamphlet since I hadn’t ordered that online (only got the Asebi bromides back then). The event started with Hikaru’s Ambient Border and OMG, seeing her in real life again for the first time in THREE years almost killed me. I quite literally teared up. To get an up-close view of her in such a tiny venue while she was wearing this super sexy cyber-punk outfit, I mean, who wouldn’t have combusted at that?! Hikaru sounded great and I was happy to finally hear the song live (it’s one of my faves from her album). Also made sure to buy the special Hikaru drink ^_^ It was a fruity ice-tea so thankfully something I was able to enjoy. After Hikaru, Yuki Sasaki sang his song for the the play and that concluded the first live corner. We pretty much transitioned right away to the two Q&A corners. The cast of the play is way too big so they had to separate the group. During the first set Hikaru was on stage together with a bunch of the other cast members (including Yuki Sasaki and Marina Hamada - I feel like their stories will be quite tightly interwoven which is also why they are singing the insert song “Under the Rain” together but more on that later). The mods had a little box from which everyone got to pick two short questions. It was mostly play-related stuff but I loved how carefree everyone was. I’ve actually never seen Hikaru like this on stage. Usually it takes her a while to warm up to her surrounding and most of the time she is a bit nervous or reserved but among this group of nerds she seems to feel 100% at home. She was clowning around with everyone as if she had known them forever. Super precious. Won’t lie, the second section of the Q&A and the prologue act for Ambient Border dragged a bit because Hikaru wasn’t involved in those but overall they were interesting and got me quite hyped for the play. I REALLY hope we’ll get a broadcast just like we did with her first play. They finished the event with another live corner. First Marina Hamada performed her solo song and then she was joined on stage to reveal a brand new insert song called “Under the Rain”. It’s a collab with Hikaru and Yuki Sasaki. All three got to sing a verse and then they all sang the chorus together. The verses are really lovely, the chorus is just okay I guess. I wonder if this song will ever get an official release. There was some talk about a CD but they didn’t really make an official announcement. Honestly, a CD for the entire play would be neat.

I really regret not getting a ticket for the evening show as well just to see and hear a bit more of Hikaru but then again, it was probably a good thing because jet lag would have kicked my ass sooner rather than later.

[being-of-rain]

Some thoughts from my Classic Who watch, season 10.

The Three Doctors has some incredibly iconic moments, almost entirely scenes inside the TARDIS, and its kind of strange to finally watch the rest of it as well because so much of it is very much not iconic. And it’s not hard to see why. In fact I’d probably say that this is one of the Classic Who stories I’ve seen that feels the most like it could’ve been edited down to like an hour-long special. Or a 45 minute one. There’s just not much plot here! But it’s still a pretty fun watch. Obviously Patrick Troughton was a joy to have back. The joke with the silicon rod in episode one is hilarious. The mystery of the weather balloon and the missing warden feels like an X-Files episode, especially when his face turns up in the capture of cosmic rays. But not to worry, it quickly becomes very Doctor Who again. Diving into the Time Lords’ history for the first time is a great way to mark the show’s 10th anniversary and give the Doctor back his freedom. It’s interesting that when Omega announces his name and the Doctor responds “that’s impossible!” the moment is supposed to be a mysterious one, but for me who’s watched/read/listened to about a million Dr Who stories that laud Omega as a founder of Time Lord society, it’s much easier to put myself in the Doctor’s shoes. Finally, there’s a moment I liked near the start of the story where Jo understands some technobabble from a scientist, and it’s a small moment but it does feel like how much Jo has grown and learnt is a theme continued throughout the season, and it’s just a sweet thing to see.

Going to be honest! I zoned out while watching Carnival of Monsters. It’s the second story in a row that made me think “this really could’ve been a 45 minute episode.” It’s a shame that it feels so stretched out when it includes so many intriguing and fantastic elements: the time loop, the miniscope, the hand reaching down to grab the TARDIS, the juxtaposition of a 1920s cargo ship with an alien spaceport. And, most of all, Vorg and Shirna’s outfits. That’s it, not really much to say about this one.

Frontier In Space has pros and cons. It has space politics, which is interesting, and Ogrons, which are not. Unravelling a conspiracy is also interesting, but hitting a brick wall with everyone the Doctor and Jo try to talk to about it for a few episodes is not. But in the end the story has Roger Delgado, and as always that’s a definite pro. Jo never really got into travelling to other worlds in the TARDIS did she? Even so, she again acts like a very experienced spacetime traveller in this serial. She makes a lot of comparisons to other times she’s travelled to the future, but I love that kind of continuity references, where it’s to show that the characters remember and have learnt from their previous adventures. She helps to bamboozle the Master like a professional, and later manages to resist both his hypnotism and his fear machine, which really is quite a feat. And on top of all that, the Doctor tells her, of meeting her on Earth, “that alone made the exile worth while,” which is the cutest shit ever. I know the story leads into the next one, but it still ends very suddenly. We spent 6 episodes dealing with the politics of Earth and Draconia, and then we don’t get to see them even receive the news of the Doctor’s discoveries. And the Master just straight-up disappears in the final scene after shooting the Doctor.

I watched Planet of the Daleks with a good friend because it was her favourite story, and it was good fun! Felt like a return to form for Dalek stories after Day of the Daleks, and a sequel to the original Daleks as well as Frontier in Space. Lots of alien dangers on the hostile world of Spiridon! It’s a pretty tense start to the beginning of the story, because I guess the Time Lords couldn’t have done anything helpful, could they, instead of just dropping the wounded Doctor and Jo in the middle of a deadly jungle infested with Daleks. I liked the plot mechanic of the TARDIS log being used for Jo to monologue, but then it isn’t used much. I guess someone else thought that, which is why the wonderfully creepy audio Ghost in the Machine exists. The squad of Thals were nice. The Doctor’s talk with Codal about courage when they’re both locked up is just so lovely. My friend and I laughed when they broke out and started yelling whenever they saw a Dalek, even when the Dalek hadn’t seen them yet. These two need to learn to use their inside voices. And poor Jo getting asked by Latep to come with him back to Skaro, that was awkward. If she’d said yes then that would definitely have been the most random companion romance of the show, they really didn’t interact much. The Dalek Supreme surviving at the end surprised me, but I guess the Daleks really couldn’t be defeated forever by this point.

I really liked The Green Death! Especially the first episode. I loved how it showed how the Doctor, Jo, and also the Brigadier were drifting apart in separate directions- the first to outer space where he so wants to travel, the second to find other, better ways to save the world, and the third to follow his orders and do what good he can from his place inside the system. It really gives you the impression that the three splitting up is inevitable, but does so with a lot of humour (why do I never see anyone talk about how funny the Doctor’s subplot in this episode is? Every so often cutting away from the plot to him being attacked and chased around in a nightmare landscape is hilarious). Clifford Jones isn’t the most likeable character, and his condescension to Jo would’ve got him cancelled sooo quickly today, but I couldn’t help but like how his annoyance with Jo’s clumsiness in their first meetings acted as such an obvious parallel with the Doctor’s first meeting with Jo three seasons ago. And despite Clifford’s unlikable qualities, I really loved Jo’s exit from the series. It’s made clear that she loves his determination to save the world, and leaves the Doctor behind the help him do so. It feels like a reason that’s very applicable to the modern day, and it’s perhaps not surprising that the only other companion I can think of who left for it is Ryan Sinclair, the latest to leave the TARDIS. I haven’t talked about much apart from Jo, really. BOSS is a fun villain with a good voice, the Doctor’s rotation of outfits and Hitman-style disguises were great. But ultimately Jo is the star of the story for me, and I think the star of the season as well.

[jaeyunzie]

your first -- jay

pairing: park jongseong x reader

word count: 987 words

genre: angst!

there will be a pt 2!!

----

jay was beautiful. you were never the type to be interested in love, rather, the concept confused you. coming from a household where love wasn’t prominent clouded your perception of love; until you met him. you didn’t know what made you felt that way, was it his looks? the way he was always ambitious? the fact that he never gave up? you still don’t know what it was but you knew that you fell in love with the park jongseong. 

in jay’s eyes, you were unique; in a good way. you didn’t treat him like a bank like most people he had met, you never doubted him everytime he would make the wrong step and you were always there for him. he liked this. he liked you being there for him and believing in him. so naturally, he fell in love with you too.

it was a surprise to your friends that you ended up with him. how could you? the person who was never keen on love, the person who never payed attention to any conversation about love; ended up falling inlove? they felt transported into another universe. but you couldn’t disagree. being with jay made you feel like you were in another universe. everything felt just right.

today was your 6 month anniversary and you wanted to surprise him. his parents had approved of you, they loved you probably just as much as he did. so it was to no surprise that his mother welcomed you into his house with open arms. “y/n ! what a surprise. jay isn’t home so what’s the occasion?” she welcomed you as she cups your cheeks and slightly pinching them. “hey mrs park, it’s our 6 month anniversary so i wanted to ask if you could maybe help me make some food? i’d love for us to celebrate it with you guys.” you smile at her, pulling up the bag of groceries you’d just bought. “of course! well I have to leave in a few hours to meet some friends so I don’t think I could celebrate but I’d love to help cook.” she replied, taking the groceries from your hand and putting them on the kitchen table.

besides the groceries, you already had a store decorated cake, a gift and some flowers prepared. taking off your shoes, you enter their house. you’ve been here so many times yet you can’t get used how big and how beautiful the interior design was. you wanted to put the gift in his room, as it was special and you wanted him to see it in his private time. “mrs park, is it okay if i put these in jay’s room?” you asked, and the moment she nodded; you head upstairs to where his room is located. you twist the door knob and it was unlocked, as usual. jay had a habit of always leaving his door unlocked no matter what. when you entered, the lights were off and as your eyes scanned the room, it landed on something peculiar. it was a diary. jay has a diary? was your first thought. he had a hard time expressing his feelings and sometimes you would have to beg for him to spill it out, so it was surprising to see but also made sense maybe this was how he relieves his stress you thought. 

for some reason, albeit you knowing it was wrong, you wanted to read it. setting aside the gift, you sat down on his chair and opened what was inside. as his girlfriend, you expected to see your name pop up once or twice. but as you examine the pages even more, another name popped up constantly. you recognised this name, it was his ex, the person he loved before you. this diary is probably old, it’s only been 15 pages was the thought that lingered in your head. you were jealous and there was no denying it, he wrote about her as if them as if they were his whole world. 

10th February

i can’t live without them, i don’t wanna let them go but they wont even look at me. 

you decided that looking through old pages wasn’t gonna help your jealousy problem, so you find a page that had a date in which you knew was significant to your relationship. march 28th, the date you got together. you sighed out of happiness when you saw that your name was the first thing on the page, but that smile on your face did not last long when you read the page even further.

28th March

y/n , they’re beautiful. reminds me too much of them though. i can’t get them out of my head and it has been 2 months since we broke up. i see them in y/n and it hurts when i have to pretend y/n is someone else.

as you flipped the pages even more, his writings were just full of regret and sorrow. Regretful that he was not honest to you, regretful of letting his ex go, regret and regret. the book fell out of your hand and laid on the table, you closed it making it seem as if it were never touched. tears didn’t come out. you don’t know why. it hurt too much to cry. it hurt so much you couldn’t feel anything and you wished you never picked that stupid diary up. you wish you never knew.

as you stood up, you looked down on your gift. your head was filled with voices, should you take it back or act like everything is okay. how could you leave; his mother was downstairs waiting for you. but what do you mean by how could you? the real question was how could jay? how could jay pretend this whole time. he told you that you were unique, he told you that he loved you just as you loved him. how could he?

to be continued

--------

author’s note HAI THIS IS MY FIRST EVER UM work?? idk what to call it lmao im so sorry its crap i havent written anything since my 2018 middle school fanfic phase n now im HORRIBLE at writing anyways yes stay tuned for pt 2!! ill edit this later cuz i wrote this on a whim n theres probably plot holes and mistakes here n there

[theydontknowaboutusimagines]

The Set Up - Harry Styles One Shot (Part 5)

Part 1    Part 2    Part 3   Part 4  

**

Everything was still going great, if not better in your relationship with Harry since becoming official. You still hadn’t really told many people in your lives yet because you two wanted to sort get used it for a bit. You knew you would tell Gemma eventually, but right now it was nice watching her squirm for information. 

Your co-workers were also very interested in learning about your love life ever since they found out you were dating someone. But you couldn’t worry about adding into workplace gossip because you had a huge event and issue coming out. The 10th anniversary of The Mixtape was in a few days and everyone was working on the issue by piecing different article from the past, some behind the scenes moments and also the story and history of where it all began. 

While, the magazine part of The Mixtape hasn’t been around for ten years, what started it all as been. In addition to the magazine issue, you were having a huge party for everyone who helped make your dream possible. You really wanted Harry to be there, but you also knew what that would mean. Everyone would know about your relationship and it’s not like you wanted to hide it or anything, but you weren’t sure how he felt about doing that just yet. 

You two had sort of talked about what it meant now that you were together, but there was never really a full discussion on it. You’ve never dated someone that was as famous as he was and seeing how was how his past relationships usually become known at some point, you weren’t sure how you were going to handle that. 

Since, you were working so much on the newest issue, you hadn’t really seen Harry much since that morning when he asked you to be his girlfriend. And you felt bad about that especially since in only a few short weeks he’ll be on tour. 

Luckily, the first few dates weren’t too far and you were planning on going to at least opening night, but still, you wanted to spend as much time with as you could before then. You were eating lunch at your desk when you got a text from Harry. 

Gooooood afternoon, beautiful. Just letting you know, you are to be at my house by seven tonight. 

There will be dinner on the table, dessert in the freezer, and a surprise for you on the telly. 

You may also wish to bring a change of clothes because I’m in need of someone to tell me if I snore or not.

You smiled reading his text before quickly trying a response. 

Lucky for you, I should be done no later than five. That should give me plenty of time to head home and get back to your place. 

See you then, lovely. 

The next few hours passed by slowly and after being on the phone finalizing everything for the party you were exhausted. Part of you really wanted to just go home, take a hot bath, relax and go to bed, but the bigger part of you really wanted to see your boyfriend. 

When you got to your place, you decided to grab a quick shower, and change into more causal clothing before pulling some clothes from your closet and drawers to throw into an overnight bag. Once you had everything you needed you went straight to your car. 

You weren’t terribly far from where Harry lived, but sometimes traffic made it seem further than what it really was. It ended up taking you almost an hour to get there and you were behind annoyed and had to pee. Since Harry buzzed you in at the gate, he was already waiting for you at the door. 

He smiled holding his arms out, “You’re here.” 

“Finally,” you groaned. “Bloody traffic.” 

“I’m sorry, love,” he said taking your bag from you. 

“It’s fine,” you smiled giving him a quick kiss. 

“Hm, I’ve missed that,” he whispered pulling away. 

“Sorry,” you sighed. “Work has been crazy with everything going. You know when I had the idea to do the grand celebration and special edition issue, it sounded so much better than actually doing it.” 

“I’m sure it’ll be worth it once it’s finished,” he said pouring you a glass of wine. 

“I know, I know, I keep telling myself that, but it’s not just me. Everyone is stressed and fuses are short,” you sighed. “I really want to enjoy this celebration because I worked... my team.. everyone has worked too fucking hard to get where we are and I want to be happy about that.” 

“Hey,” he said looking at you. “Everything’s going to work out, it’s going to be fine, and you’re going to enjoy it once it’s done.” 

“I’m going to hold you to that,” you joked. 

“And besides, that’s what I decided to all of this,” he smiled. “I know you’ve been stressed and working crazy hours, so why not have a nice at home dinner with your boyfriend.” 

You smiled wrapping your arms around his waist, “Thank you, this is something I really needed.” 

He smiled leaning down to kiss you before the two of you sat down for dinner. 

Once you were finished eating, you helped him clean up, despite his protests and the met over on the couch. 

“So, what is this about something being on the tele?” You asked looking over at him. 

“Well, I asked Gemma what your favorite movie or tv show was, something that you could watch that would de-stress you a bit,” he said. 

“Oh my god!” You gasped. “You did not!” 

“I did,” he laughed. “I found it on Hulu, so I figured we could watch your favorite episodes or something.” 

“You are amazing!” You smiled wrapping your arms around him in a tight hug. “Have you ever seen it?” 

“Actually, no,” he said. “Maybe one or two episodes, or part of an episode, but no I’ve not.” 

You pulled away from him, “Wait? What? You have never seen the without a doubt the fucking best TV Show in the history of tv shows with the greatest couple ever?” 

“Uh, no,” he said with a laugh. “Damn, Gemma wasn’t lying when she said this was your favorite.” 

“Damn fucking right,” you said. “Screw my favorite episodes, we’re watching this from the beginning.” 

“Fuck, what did I sign up for,” he laughed. 

“Shush!” You said grabbing the remote and selecting season 1, episode 1. “Let the binge watching begin!” 

**

It was the day before the anniversary party and not only have you not found something to wear, you also hadn’t asked Harry about going. Gemma would be there and you wondered if she had mentioned anything to him. He hadn’t said anything to you about it and you weren’t sure how you felt about that. He obviously knew about the event, but he asked about if you wanted him there. 

You knew you would have to say something to him and now that you thought about it, the longer you waited the more awkward it would be. Since everything was set in place, you would spend the entire day finding the perfect outfit. It wasn’t going to be a super fancy party, but you were the co-owner, founder, and editor. 

Jam had already found her’s and was not stressing as much as you. That was one of the reasons why you two were able to work together. The two of you balanced the other out. You were at your place getting ready to head out, when your phone rang. 

“Hey, Harry,” you smiled. 

“Hey, are you on your way to the office? I thought we could get breakfast, or I could bring some coffee or something in,” he said. 

“Actually, I’m not going in the office today,” you said. “I’ve got some shopping to do.” 

“Oh, shopping? Do you mind if I tag along?” He asked. 

“That depends, how do you feel about tagging along?” You laughed. “I can’t promise it’ll be a quick trip.” 

“I don’t care,” he smiled. “I’m spending time with my girlfriend, that’s all that matters.” 

“We’ll see if you still feel that way by the end,” you laughed. 

A bit later, Harry ended up picking you up and the two of you headed into the city together. 

“So, what’s the goal for this day of shopping?” He asked. 

“I need an outfit for tomorrow,” you said. “The uh.. anniversary party is tomorrow night.” 

“It is?” He asked. “I mean, I knew it was coming up, but didn’t realize.” 

You winced, “Yeah, sorry.” 

“I take it, you don’t want me to go?” He asked softly. 

“No, it’s not that,” you said. “I want you to go, actually. I thought you wouldn’t want to go, is all.” 

“Why wouldn’t I want to go?” He asked. 

You shrugged, “I figured it would be too public for you to want to come and plus, it’s not going to be this super fancy, extravagant party like you’re used to.” 

“I don’t know if I should be offended by that or not,” he sighed shaking his head. 

“I-I’m sorry,” you sighed. 

“The public thing, I could understand, but the last bit about the party, Y/N, do you really think I’m that fucking shallow or whatever?” He asked. 

“What? No,” you said.

He simply shook his head and continued driving after the light turned green. You sighed knowing this would was going to come back and bite you in the ass. 

You reached over taking his hand in yours, “I’m sorry, I should have mentioned it earlier, but honestly, I didn’t think you’d want to come. You’ve got a lot going on, plus, we haven’t even told our friends and family about us being together, so I didn’t think you’d want to be seen publicly with me. I mean, yeah, there’s not going to paparazzi or anything there, but there will be public people who are attached to their phones.” 

“Y/N, you’re my girlfriend. I care about you, I’m fucking proud of you, so of course, I want to be there for your big night. This is a two way street, baby, I want to support you, just as much as you want to support me. I’ve seen how hard you’ve worked and how stressed you’ve been and I want to be there to enjoy it with you,” he said. “If you want me there.” 

You smiled bringing his hand up to your lips, “I want you there.” 

“Well, then it looks like I’ll be needing an outfit, too,” he smirked. 

**

The night of the big anniversary party was here. You were at the venue with the party planner making sure everything was getting set up and there weren’t any mishaps. Harry’s place was actually not too far from the venue, so you would be getting ready there and staying over night. Even though you two mostly talked it out, you could tell it still bothered him a little about you not mentioning the party before. 

But you couldn’t worry about that now because you had the party to worry about. Most everything was already set up, there would still be a little final touches added here and there, but you were so happy everything was going well. Once you got the thumbs up, you went back to Harry’s house to get ready for the party that would start in less than three hours. 

When you arrived, Harry was making lunch for the two of you, he smiled when he saw you. 

“Just in time,” he said. 

“Hey,” you smiled. “Thank you.” 

“You’re welcome,” he said kissing you quickly. “How’s the set up going?” 

“Great,” you smiled. “I can’t wait to see everything once it’s finished.” 

“Me either,” he smiled taking a bite of the sandwich. 

“Can I ask you something?” You asked. 

He nodded, “Anything.” 

“Are you still upset about me not asking you to come before last night?” You asked. 

“A little,” he shrugged. “But like I said, I can’t blame you for feeling like you did. This is still new to both us.” 

You nodded taking his hand, “It really means a lot that you’re coming though. I want you to know that.” 

He smiled leaning over to kiss you. 

A few hours later, your hair and makeup was done and you were all dressed ad ready to go. You had found a gorgeous black and white jumpsuit with a sweetheart neckline. 

“Oh boy,” you groaned. 

“What?” Harry asked pulling his suit jacket over his shoulders.

“I didn’t realize “the girls” were going to be this noticeable,” you groaned. “I don’t remember it looking like that in the fitting room yesterday. Does it look bad?” 

He smirked, “Quite the opposite actually.” 

You rolled your eyes, “You would say that.” 

He laughed putting his hands on your waist, “It doesn’t look bad, I promise. I don’t think there’s going to be any nip slips, so you’re good.” 

“I’m going to take your word for it,” you said pointing at him. 

He smirked kissing your cheek, “But you are missing something.” 

“What’s that?” You asked. 

“Hold one second,” he said walking over to his dresser and taking something out. “Now, before you freak out, I want you to know that I just happened to come across this and thought it would be perfect for you.” 

“Why would I freak out?” You laughed. “What is it?” 

He handed you a medium sized box and you looked at it suspiciously before taking into your hands to open it. When you do, its a necklace with a little diamond incrusted charm in the shape of an old cassette or a mixtape. 

You gasped looking at him, “It’s beautiful.... I... wow.” 

“Here let me put it on,” he smiled taking it from the box while you turned around. 

He wrapped it around your neck and clasped it, “There you go.” 

You turned around wrapping your arms around his shoulder, “Thank you, I love it,” you smiled before leaning up to kiss him. 

Arriving at the venue, you were shocked to see how many people were in attendance. You squeeze Harry’s hand and he gave yours a kiss. You smiled a bit before getting out of the car and headed into the venue. Harry stayed by your side as you went in through the back. 

“Ready to meet everyone?” You asked. 

“Born ready,” he joked. 

You laughed walking in to where everyone on the main staff was waiting before the big entrance and speeches. When you walked in with Harry Styles on your arm, everyone froze and their jaws dropped. 

“No fucking way,” Jam said. “This is the mystery bloke?” 

“Uh, surprise,” you laughed. “Everyone, this is Harry, this is everyone. The Mixtape staff.” 

Harry smiled making his way to greet everyone. Most everyone was still in shock and Jam smirked looking over at you with a big thumbs up. You laughed rolling your eyes before grabbing yourself and Harry a drink. 

“So, what do you think?” You asked taking a sip. 

“They seem lovely,” he laughed. 

“I think there a bit starstruck right now,” you laughed. “I’ve never seen them this quiet before.”

The rest of the night when smoothly. All the speeches, the little videos playing, photo ops, everything was just how you wanted it do go. Gemma was there and she kept giving you and Harry a knowingly smirk with a few i told you so’s thrown in the mix. Once all of your duties were finished for the night, you really were able to enjoy it and you did. 

You danced with your boyfriend and took pictures with him. You also noticed that neither of you were downing the drinks and that caused something to cross your mind. You and Harry still had yet to take that next step in your relationship, not for the lack of want. 

And the want was very high that night. When the party was over, the two of you got into the car the was picking you up. On the drive to his house, he took his hands in yours, playing with the rings on your fingers. You giggled laying your head on his shoulder. 

“Was it everything you wanted?” He asked. 

“It was perfect,” you smiled. “Thank you again for coming.” 

“Of course, baby,” he smiled looking over at you. 

The car was mostly dark aside from the glow of the screen in the front and the streetlights and cars that passed by. You brought your hand up to his cheek, pressing a kiss against his lips. He ran his hand up your arm and down your back, bringing you closer to him as he deepened the kiss. 

Both of you are obviously to the driver until he let out an awkward cough. Blushing you two pulled away from the other, anticipating the final minutes until he pulled into the driveway. You two got out from the car, making sure you had your bag and headed for the front door. You giggled as your boyfriend took your hand and practically pulled you up the steps of his home before fumbling with his keys again. 

It only took him a few short seconds before unlocked it and pushed the door in. As soon as you both were inside, he slammed the door shut, locked it, and took your hand. He pulled you closer to him, wrapping your arms around his waist as he took your face into his hands. 

Smiling up at him as you leaned your head towards him, he smirked hovering his lips over yours, teasing you for a bit of a kiss before finally pressing his lips into yours. His fingers soon found themselves in your hair as he deepened the kiss. You gripped onto his shoulders as both of you started making your way through the foyer. 

“Bedroom?” He whispered against your lips in-between kisses. 

“Fuck, yes,” you mumbled before pulling him in for another kiss. 

He smirked putting his hands on your ass and picking you up. Your legs wrapped around his waist as he carried you into his bedroom. After turning on the light, he walked over to his bed, sitting down with you on his lap. You pushed his suit jacket down his shoulders as he pulled his arms out of the sleeves. 

You bit your lip as you felt his lips against the skin of your neck and collarbone. Your fingers trembled with anticipation as you unbuttoned the remainder of his shirt, slipping it off his shoulders and down his arm. 

“So, fucking hot,” you smirked running your hand over his chest and shoulders. “And all my mine, right?” 

He smirked, “I’m all your’s baby,” 

“Good,” you whispered kissing him again. 

Less than a few minutes later, you felt his fingers on the zipper of your jumpsuit. He pulled it down slowly, his hand softly touching the newly revealed skin of your back. Since it was all one piece, you got off of his lap long enough for him to pull the fabric all the way down your body. 

“I didn’t realize you weren’t wearing a bra,” he noted as you retook your place on his lap. 

“There was one built into the top,” you smirked. “Why? Disappointed with what you see?” 

“Far from it,” he smirked. 

He didn’t waste anytime attaching his lips to your naked chest and cupping it with his hands. A moan escaped your lips as you gripped onto his shoulders. The longer he paid attention to your chest, the more you wanted his attention elsewhere, as well. 

Sensing this, he brought his hand down and slipped his hand into the last remaining piece of fabric on your body. Your grip on his shoulders, tightened as his hand moved in slowly in a circular motion. Removing his lips from your chest, he kissed his way up your neck before finally placing them back onto your lips. 

Moaning against his lips, he smirked moving his hand a little faster. 

“Fuck,” you groaned his lips. 

Smirking, he removed his hand, much to your dismay before placing his hands on your hips and rolling you over onto your back. You stared up at him, chest heaving up a down a bit more at your elevated heart rate, cheeks redden, and sweat starting to glisten your skin. You moved hair out of your face as you watched he slowly pull the black, cotton fabric from your body. 

Once it was in a ball on his bedroom floor, he ran his hands up your legs as he pushed them a bit more further apart. He crawled onto the bed, hovering over you before planting  a kiss on your lips. You smiled putting your hands on the sides of his face. 

“You’re beautiful,” he whispered. “Gorgeous, fucking sexy as hell.” 

You giggled, “Hm, thank you.” 

He smiled kissing you one last time before making his way down your neck and chest, slowly. Once his lips finally left your chest, he made his way down kissing and licking your stomach before you felt his hand returning back to it’s previous position. You gasped when you felt him inside of you, one finger, moving at an achingly slow pace. 

Needing to hold something, your fingers found their way to the sheets, gripping them as pleasure started taking over your body. Not that you were holding back  before, but the sounds erupted from your body as soon as you felt his tongue working it’s magic on you, where quite loud and you were happy the nearest neighbor was far enough away. 

The build up in your body was starting to rise, your body practically begging for releasing. When your boyfriend start picking up his pace, you knew he had realized this, and soon after you were screaming his name, along with a few choice words as the waves of pleasure took over you body. He stayed where he was until you were completely finished and then he kissed his way up your body before licking his fingers as he hovered over you. 

“I uh, take it you like that, huh?” He breathed out. 

“A little bit, yeah,” you smirked as you tried catching your breath. 

“Only a little?” He raised an eyebrow. 

You giggled nodding, “Yep,” you said making sure to pop the ‘p”. 

“Hm, then I guess you wouldn’t want to continue then?” He asked. 

“Not even close,” you smirked pulling on the top of his trousers. “We’re in for  long night ahead of us.” 

“Oh fuck,” he laughed pressing his lips against yours. 

You didn’t waste any time removing the remaining clothing off of him as you kissed him. He rolled you over onto your back as he deepened the kiss. You ran your hands over his chest causing him to moan against your lips. He pulled away from a bit, reaching over to grab something from the table near the bed. 

You smirked bringing your lips up to his neck as you kissed along the skin there. 

“Shit,” he groaned. 

“What?” You laughed. 

“I dropped it,” he groaned. 

You giggled as he leaned over even more trying to reach the foil package on the ground. You smirked reaching over and tickling his side causing him to yelp out, which made you laughed even more. After picking it up, he took in his hand and looked over at you. 

“Why do you always do that?” He groaned with a laugh. 

“Because it’s funny,” you smirked. 

“Oh, just like this is?” He smirked before tickling your sides. 

“AH! Okay, okay,” you giggled. “I’m sorry, I just couldn’t resist.” 

“Hm, you know what I can’t resist?” He smirked. 

“Hm, don’t know?” You asked. 

“You,” he whispered. 

You smirked leaning up to kiss him as he fumbled opening the wrapper. He pulled away from the kiss briefly and looked down at you. He brought his hand up to your forehead, pushing a strand of hair away. Smiling up at you, you reached up to return the favor before you felt him gently push into you. 

Neither of you moved for a moment, savoring the feeling of being together. You moved your hands down his sides putting them on his waist as he moved slowly. You let out a whimper against his lips. One of his hands ran up your leg as you gripped onto his back. 

By the time both of you were finished, sweat practically dripped down your bodies. The room was filled with your heavy breathing as both of your chests heaved up and down. He rolled off of you before bringing you close and taking your hand in his. He smiled bringing it up to his lips and leaving little kisses on each of your fingers. 

You giggled, “I figured you’d be tired of kissing me for a bit.” 

“I’d never get tired of kissing you,” he smirked. “Hell, I do it all the time if I didn’t need to breathe.” 

You laughed shaking your head before pushing the sheet off of you and getting up. 

“Hey, what, get back here,” he groaned. 

“I need to wipe my makeup off,” you laughed. “I’ll be back in a bit.” 

He looked over at you with a pout as he reached for your hand, except he leaned over too far causing him to lose his balance and fall onto the floor bringing you down with him. 

“Ow, fuck,” he laughed. 

“Was that because you hit the floor or because I hit you?” You laughed looking down at him. 

“Both,” he laughed. “You know this is your fault.” 

“What? How?” You laughed. 

“Because you got up,” he said. “Had you stayed in bed cuddling, I wouldn’t have fell on my ass.” 

“Or maybe it’s your fault because you’re so needy,” you giggled. 

“No, I don’t think that’s it,” he laughed pushing hair behind your ear. 

“Oh, well, then I guess since you’re not needy, you wouldn’t want to join me in the shower then?” You asked raising an eyebrow. 

“Baby, I’m as needy as needy can fucking get,” he smirked. “Now, let’s go.” 

You laughed as you got up, quickly making your way to the bathroom. 

**

Welp, looks like there’s going to be another part! With a bit of angst for all those who want it!

[holysmotez]

Jealous Tifa in AC

Please pardon my delay on this, RL work tied me up this afternoon a bit, but it did give me time to think on this question @magicalchemist asked me: 

"Why do you think the devs decided to point out so specifically in an Ultimania about Advent Children Tifa's jealousy of Aerith and have Cloud hiding that he went to the church from her. To push the LTD? Or to highlight communication issues? I would love your take on that"

My short answer is that I think it’s some of column A, and some of column B.  My full reply is under the cut due to length (I’m sorry) and for spoilers

The following is the section I believe you are referencing from the 10th Anniversary Ultimania (credit: https://thelifestream.net/lifestream-projects/translations/66/the-compilation-of-final-fantasy-vii-ultimania-translations/):

A close friend as well as rival? The complicated emotions she feels towards Aerith.

「Both of them share feelings for Cloud 」 — Tifa was close to Aerith, who can also be called a love rival. With that point in mind, they were also good friends. Nevertheless, it is not hard to imagine that she carries complex feelings as a woman toward Aerith, who had built up a special bond with Cloud that was different from Tifa’s.

Tifa’s complicated feelings continue even in AC, two years after Aerith had departed the world. This was due to the fact that Cloud, succumbing to the notion that Aerith’s death was his fault and condemning himself, construed that Denzel was “the child which Aerith brought here” and took care of him. In addition, Cloud had also gone away to the church that Aerith had been in. The thing which she is unable to hide in her irritation towards Cloud is the fact that he isn’t merely dragging the past around, but because that reason might perhaps be related to Aerith.

[FFVII] Seeing Cloud and Aerith developing their world together before her eyes, she inadvertently lets slip her peevish feelings. [AC] Upon knowing that Cloud had been residing in Aerith’s church after leaving the place they had been living in together, her expression becomes complex. 

From a marketing perspective, I do tend to think bringing up Tifa's jealousy is partly to ladle on some soap opera-inspired drama.  I think SE is well aware that the perception of there being a LTD, regardless of the reality, is one of FF7′s biggest hooks.  

However, I also don't think the jealousy angle is totally without basis, either, but I also tend to think that Cloud was actually the one more worried about her feelings of jealousy than Tifa herself was.  He was the one who acted like going to the church and finding Denzel was on the level of having an affair:

From Case of Tifa:

"Well..." Cloud looked like a kid that about to be scolded as usual. "Tell me. I'll decide whether I'm angry or not after I listen." Cloud nodded and continued. "Denzel had collapsed in front of the church where Aerith used to be. That's why I thought Aerith lead him to "my place"". Saying all that in one breathe, Cloud looked away. "You went to the church." "I wasn't planning to hide there." "You were hiding." "I'm sorry." "I didn't say you couldn't go. But next time, I'll go together with you."

Meanwhile, I get the impression at this point that Tifa’s just trying to understand what the hell is going on.  She wants him to feel comfortable being vulnerable with her, and where her anger comes out when he doesn’t seem to get that, culminating when she tells him earlier in the text, “Then drink in your room.”   I think she sincerely regrets doing that, and knows it’s not the right approach, and so her response to him above isn’t that of a jealous, forgotten wife who just found a different shade of lipstick on his shirt.  It’s a partner who wants to understand so that she can help.

But when you're scared for your partner and your relationship, rational thinking tends to go out the window.  The situation feels out of control, so you slip out of control.  You might question everything and blow stuff out of proportion that would otherwise be ridiculous to you in normal circumstances-- and I think in Tifa’s case, it's reasonable that some of her irrational thinking could also include dredged up memories of jealousy concerning Aerith.  After all, that also aligns with her biggest fear: losing Cloud.  It’s also understandable that she might feel jealous of the fact that the succor Cloud is looking for is something he thinks she can't help him with, but Aerith can.  But the problem is Tifa doesn’t know whether anything she is feeling is ridiculous or what’s on Cloud’s mind at all because Cloud’s not communicating well enough.  And at the end of CoT, Cloud’s just plain ol’ gone after she thought she made a breakthrough with him.

So then Tifa, when she finally has an opportunity in AC, lets him have it.  Whether her emotions are fueled partially by jealousy is debatable, but it’s definitely fueled by her very human feelings of hurt and insecurity.  Which, I might add, is not an ideal communication pattern...ideally, you shouldn't let your grievances build until you blow up, and neither should you avoid your partner until they feel they have no other recourse. 

BUT!   The good news, though, is that AC is meant to show Cloud & Tifa both demonstrating change as they come to understand and trust each other much better.  The experience reaffirms for both of them that they do cherish what they have together, and I think it nurtured a stronger faith in each other.  Yes, even Tifa changes, because despite her saying that Cloud needs to accept help and let others in, SHE is the one to identify that Kadaj is Cloud’s fight alone and holds back the cavalry.  She demonstrates an understanding that his decision to go without her isn’t him saying “I don’t care” or “Aerith is bae”, but rather it was a way of saying, really badly, “this is my fight.”

And at the end of the day, it works out because they do know they are each other's biggest supporters.  When both partners are committed - as I think Cloud & Tifa are - when the hurts heal, they tend to heal back stronger.

Lastly, before I exhaust you all completely, I think this caption to this pic from the quoted Ultimania should not go unmentioned:

Tifa, smiling towards Aerith’s presence. Cherishing Aerith is Tifa’s honest feeling.

Let's repeat that again.  Cherishing Aerith is Tifa’s honest feeling...not jealousy.  So yeah.  Despite the jealousy blurb, the Ultimania is also rather quick to set us straight on that.

Edit: my dumbass forgot to credit the Case of Tifa text, it’s from Final Fantasy Kingdom

[eleamaya]

Zerith and Cloti Lines & Quotes Parallels

FFVII Original Game, Advent Children (sequel), and Crisis Core (prequel) are written by Kazushige Nojima.... so it’s not surprised to see how he wrote both pairings in similar way as I found these parallels:

Parallel #1: KOIBITO ( 恋人 )

Zack and Aerith

The two characters deeply involved with Aerith were Zack, who would become her lover (koibito), and Tseng, her guardian.  (CC: FFVII Complete Guide)

One day, Zack is suddenly landed in a church in the slum. His cheerfulness and dependability capture Aerith’s heart and they’re being in a (koibito) lovers-like relationship. Although they can only see each other periodically, their thoughts keep them close in spirit. (Aerith’s profile, CC: FFVII Ultimania, pg. 22)

Aerith gently embraced Zack, who came back sad. The atmosphere makes them feel like lovers (koibito).   (Aerith’s profile, FFVII 10th Anniversary Ultimania)

Cloud and Tifa

“Is Tifa your girlfriend (koibito)?” (Aerith asking Cloud, FFVII Remake Chapter 8)

There are many dimensions to Tifa’s character. She’s like a mother, also a sweetheart (koibito), and a close ally in battle (Advent Children Reunion Files book, pg. 19~ Nomura’s interview)

Parallel #2: SWEET YOUNG LOVE, WHAT SHE LIKES ABOUT HIM 

Aerith about 16 years old Zack: 

“He’s strong, kinda funny, and there’s something special about him.”  (Crisis Core Chapter 5 - First Date) 

Tifa about 14 years old Cloud: 

“You were so small then … and cute.”  (Original Game scene 116 - Cloud Dark Past) 

Parallel #3: THE GIRLS’ DESIRE TO BE WITH HIM, JUST THE TWO OF THEM

Aerith, before Zack went to Nibelheim

Thinking that he would at least be of help to Aerith now, Zack began to make the flower-selling wagon as he had promised to make before. The two struggle to get use to the unfamiliar task, but they relish the happiness of spending time together. When Zack is called for duty, Aerith writes down 23 tiny wishes on a piece of paper and gives it to him. The note was filled with her earnest desire to be with Zack.

(FFVII 10th Anniversary Ultimania, Crisis Core Story Playback)

Tifa, before Cloud went to Midgar

"It was just an idea, but from the moment it was made, it became an irreplaceable promise. And that night, when Tifa realized that the Cloud she admired was just an ordinary boy, she fell in love with him. The kind of "love" that made her want to be with him, just the two of them. "

(Traces of Two Pasts, a novella written by Kazushige Nojima)

Parallel #4: SHE DRESSES UP FOR THE PROMISE THEY MADE

Zack and Aerith

For when they meet again on their next date, Zack’s specific suggestion was Aerith wearing pink. Aerith–who continued to wait for Zack’s return–starts to wear pink after making this promise (CC: FFVII Complete Guide--Keyword Collection)

Cloud and Tifa

Believing in Cloud’s promise, Tifa’s waiting to see Cloud become a SOLDIER like Sephiroth. Tifa dresses herself in a pretty and sexy look. Does she do that to spirit up herself in preparing for a touching reunion? (Tifa Lockhart Character Profile from CC: FFVII Ultimania)

Parallel #5: SHE ASKED IF HE KNEW A CERTAIN SOLDIER

Zerith: Aerith asked Cloud about Zack in SOLDIER in the Playground (FF7 Remake)

“Did you have any SOLDIER friends? Any war buddies? So Cloud, you were SOLDIER 1st Class, right? Weird. Just that you were in the same rank with the first guy I ever loved.”

Cloti: Tifa asked Zack about Cloud in SOLDIER via mails (Crisis Core)

“Are there any blond guys in SOLDIER?  Well, it's just a dream... Any girl would love to have a blond SOLDIER guy protect her when she's in a pinch. I almost forgot. Please don't tell anyone in SOLDIER that I asked about the blond guy. Okay?” 

Parallel #6: THEY THINK OF EACH OTHER UNDER THE SKY

Zack and Aerith -- the cloudy & azure sky

Zack think of Aerith:  “I wish I could show this sky to…” (Crisis Core DMW Cloud Scene #4: Cloudy Sky)

Aerith think of Zack: “He was like a cloud drifting through the skies. As we peered skyward through the rafters of a heavenless Midgar, we made a promise. And that was the last time we spoke.” (Crisis Core 1st Official Trailer)

Cloud and Tifa -- the starry & night sky

Cloud think of Tifa: “I was just thinking about the past.”  (Crisis Core DMW Cloud Scene #3: Starry Night At The Well)

Tifa think of Cloud: “Like the sky that night, the heavens were filled with stars. Did you imagine the sky? The stars were gorgeous. It was just Cloud and I. We talked at the well.”  (Original Game scene 116 - Cloud’s Dark Past)

Parallel #7: PROMISE AT THE NIBELHEIM WELL/WATER TOWER

Zack and Aerith --  CC Chapter 013: I Promise

Aerith: Hello… (calling by phone) Zack: Aerith! Aerith: Finally, got through to you! Zack: Ah, sorry about this but I’m in the middle of something right now. I’ll  give you a call a little later . Aerith: No. it’s okay. You don’t have to. Zack: I understand. I’ll come visit. Aerith: I’ll be waiting. Zack: I’Il see you. It’s a promise.

Cloud and Tifa --  OG scene 6: A Childhood Promise

Tifa: You said you wanna tell me something. Cloud: This summer… I wanna leave this town to Midgar. I wanna join SOLDIER… like Sephiroth. Tifa: Is it tough being SOLDIER, isn’t it? Cloud: Yeah, I probably could not go back to this town for a while. Tifa: Hey, why don’t we make a promise? Mmm… if you really get famous and I’m ever in a bind, you’ll come save me, alright? Whenever  I’m in a trouble, my hero will come rescue me. Cloud: Alright, I promise.

Parallel #8: SHE WON’T BE AFRAID WITH HIM, HE PROMISED

Zack and Aerith -- CC Chapter 8: 23 Little Luxuries

Aerith: “When you come back from your assignment, let’s go sell flowers under the sky together. I won’t be afraid if you’re with me.”

Zack: “Yeah, I’ll go with you. That’s a promise.”

Cloud and Tifa -- OG Scene 136: Understanding

Tifa: “But, it’s alright even if no one comes back. As long as I’m with you… As long as you’re by my side… I won’t give up even if I’m scared.”

Cloud: “Afterall, I promised. That if anything were to ever happen to you, I would come to help.”

Parallel #9: MUTUAL AFFECTIONS/RECIPROCAL FEELINGS

Zack and Aerith

Zack and Aerith meet by chance in a church in the Slums. They become intimate with each other. (FFVII 10th Anniversary Ultimania Compilation Timeline)

From the boy’s profile

Having fallen into the sector 5 slum church during a mission, Zack has a fateful meeting with Aerith, a young girl who was tending to flowers in the church. They share a “puratonikku koi” / chaste romantic love, satisfied just to be together. Those joyous days seemed like they would last forever… (Zack’s Profile, CC: FFVII Ultimania, pg. 13)

From the girl’s profile

CC shows her meeting and relationship with Zack, and the budding love between them. However, fate would tear the couple apart. (Aerith’s Dengeki Profile)

At that chosen day, she accidentally met Zack, SOLDIER 1st Class, and they were attracted to each other. (Aerith’s Profile, FFVII 10th Anniversary Ultimania)

The destined encounter with Zack makes them becomes the irreplaceable existence to each other.  (Aerith’s profile, CC: FFVII Ultimania)

His cheerfulness and dependability capture Aerith’s heart and they’re being in a lovers-like relationship. (Aerith’s profile, CC: FFVII Ultimania)

Cloud and Tifa

When their companions disperse to the places where people important to them await, Cloud and Tifa, who remain, reveal their feelings for each other together. (FFVII Ultimania Omega, pg. 198; story summary)

When Cloud and Tifa remain behind alone, in their final hours, together they disclose their feelings for each other. (FF 20th Anniversary Ultimania File 2: Scenario guide, FFVII Story Summary, pg. 232)  

From the boy’s profile

Declares that the team should dissolve in the final hours before the final battle, and communicates his feelings together with Tifa, who remains behind at the airship with him. (Cloud’s Profile, FFVII Ultimania Omega, pg. 15)

From the girl’s profile 

She ventured into Lifestream together with Cloud. Amidst the course of him trying to ascertain his memories, they became aware of the thoughts/feelings which each other was holding. (Tifa’s Profile, FFVII 10th Anniversary Ultimania. pg. 42-47)

In FF7, Tifa is the only one who knows Cloud’s childhood, and furthermore, she holds the key to people involved in the story of Nibelheim’s burning down, which is also depicted in CC. She and Cloud came to realize their feelings for each other in the end of the story, and live together in AC and DC.(CC:FFVII Ultimania, Tifa Lockhart Profile)

For many years, Cloud and Tifa have been holding favor for one another. At last facing the impending final battle with Sephiroth, they confirm together their feelings of desire toward partnership. (Tifa’s Profile, FF 25th Memorial Ultimania)

Parallel #10: THEY GO BACK TO WHERE THEY BELONG

Zack and Aerith -- Afterlife

Zack Profile in FFVII 10th Anniversary Ultimania: In order to help Cloud recover, he assured him from the Lifestream together with Aerith.

Aerith Profile in ACC Dengeki: She joined the Lifestream, but even then she carries on watching over the planet and Cloud. At all times, her first love Zack is always by her side.

Both are mentioned: ...She starts to leave, together with the friend who had given his life to Cloud. Cloud no longer has to suffer in loneliness. And so they too go back to where they belong. Back to the current of life flowing around the planet. (FFVII 10th Anniversary Ultimania--Revised Edition, ACC Playback)

Cloud and Tifa -- Living World

Cloud Profile in FFVII 10th Anniversary Ultimania: With the help of his friends, he defeated Bahamut SHIN, which Kadaj’s gang had summoned. He defeated Sephiroth after his Advent, and returned to Tifa and the children.

Tifa Profile in ACC Dengeki: At the end of a long struggle, she gently welcomes back Cloud on his return home after settling things with himself.

Both are mentioned: “Inside, I felt one thing was for sure: Cloud and Tifa would be together. Everybody would be living back home where they belonged.” (Kazushige Nojima-the scriptwriter, Advent Children Reunion Files book)

Parallel #11: DESCRIBED AS A SINGULAR ITEM / A PAIR

Zack and Aerith described in ACC

For Cloud, they were people whom he can never forget. The two irreplaceable people; Zack, “who was sent to death because protecting me” and Aerith, “who met a tragic fate as I couldn’t protect her” became “the unforgivable sins” in his heart.

(Advent Children Complete Post Card Book)

Cloud and Tifa described in CC

Cloud and Tifa are childhood friends, both born in Nibelheim. When Cloud leaves the village, he calls Tifa out to the water tower and promises that he will become a SOLDIER. At the same time, he is also made by Tifa to promise that he will come to rescue her if she is ever in trouble.

Following this, the pair experience many hardships, such as the Nibelheim incident which also appears in CC, and the Jenova War in FFVII, and through these the distance between them shortens. And in AC they live together, with Barret’s daughter Marlene, and a boy named Denzel. Though there was also a period later where Cloud lived away from them after having contracted Geostigma, they finally reach a commune with each over and return to living together once again. In DC, they rush together to Vincent’s aid, in his battle against Deep Ground SOLDIER.

(CC:FFVII Complete Guide Book)

Parallel #12: NOBUO UEMATSU COMPOSE A MUSIC SCORE BASED ON THEM IN THE SCRIPT

Zack and Aerith - “Aerith’s Theme”

I really like “One Winged Angel”. I guess, I also like “Aerith Theme.” I’m happy that it’s always well received when it’s played at concerts. Honestly, when I made it, I didn’t think it would be popular. In the scenario, there was the line “Aerith waited. Every single day, she waited and waited.” So I made the song to match that scene which means, it wasn’t made for the scene in Forgotten City. The scene where Aerith waits for Zack at the station was first. It’s a song about “a poor girl who waits for someone who doesn’t come.”

(Nobuo Uematsu’s interview from Game Symphony Japan FF7 2014 concert pamphlet)

Cloud and Tifa - “Cloud’s Smile”

One of the staff’s favorite scenes was where Cloud smiles in embarrassing way towards Tifa. Nomura liked it as there was almost no dialogue and the expression of Cloud’s face communicated his expression to the viewers. Composer Nobuo Uematsu commented, “It sounds cool!”, considering the fact that gamers who have finished FFVII (OG) would find it hard to imagine how Cloud smiles. Upon reading that scene in the script, Uematsu was inspired to write the score

(FFVII Advent Children Distance: The Making of Advent Children)

[thegrimmsisters]

The Problem Child, Chapters 6-8

Hello everyone! As promised, a chapter review update! For those of you who started following me since my last update, or just a refresher in general: I’m going through the 10th anniversary editions of the books and comparing them page by page, word for word with the originals to see what MB changed, because there have been A LOT of changes. 

The changes for chapters 6-8 are below and as (almost) always, I’m dissapointed. 

(side note when I search the tag ‘sisters grimm 10th anniversary edition review; on my blog, I’m missing the last few posts of mine. Similarly when I search ‘sisters grimm’ in the general search some of my posts don’t appear so please please please, let me know if you see this!!)

Chapter Six

(This picks up after Sabrina and Jake get caught in the Hall of Wonders after Granny forbid Sabrina from magic)

-Daphne no longer asks if Jake killed Basil.

-When Sabrina and Granny argue, Daphne now says to Sabrina, “you just accused her of not caring about us!”

-Instead of smiling at Sabrina the next morning, Granny nodded stiffly.

-When Jake brings Doughnuts, Granny now says “Doughnuts are not going to win me over,” but she smiles and takes one, saying that she missed them.

-Sabrina no longer says she saw the view of the town from the mountains when she was running from the Jabberwocky

-Granny makes Jake promise he won’t take them to the asylum.

-In the original Jake says he wants to make sure Mirror gets to try the doughnuts. Now Granny tells him to share with Mirror and Jake says “I’m not wasting these on him!” and Granny replies “Mirror is part of the family, go give him one!” (this makes me sad despite what I know about Mirror.)

-When Charming comes over he no longer looks at Sabrina and says “Captain, permission to come aboard?”

-Granny no longer even says goodbye before closing the door on Charming and Snow.

-Jake no longer says that Charming threatened to have him arrested as a kid

-The girls no longer interrupt to ask Jake what he did to make Granny erase him in the minds of everyone in Ferryport Landing.

-After Jake storms out Sabrina asks “is that the price for using magic you were talking about?” (which seems super savage!! Like wow.)

-When Sabrina goes to find Puck he is sitting on a jewel encrusted toilet instead of a throne, which I suppose is more fitting.

-Sabrina no longer accuses Puck of being in a bad mood

-MB spells doughnut two different ways in the same sentence?? Originally this didn’t happen. He literally had to change one spelling and not the second. I repeat, in the same sentence. 

-Sabrina says “So this is about my uncle” instead of “why don’t you like him?”

-The kiss scene is reworked. From what I can tell it’s all still there, just in slightly different order. The only thing missing is she now never tells Puck to meet them at the car.

-Jake apparently named the car Genevieve???

-In the car Sabrina thinks that every time Puck looks at her it felt like her face was on fire.

-The signs that say “A vote for Heart is a vote for change” aren’t there anymore

-When they start to practice with the wand, Jake originally says practicing is important because otherwise someone could get hurt. That line is gone.

-When you see Canis run through the forest Sabrina no longer says that Puck is just dumb enough to fight him. Daphne’s response is gone as well.

-This is new though: ‘“Did anyone see that guy’s face?” Daphne asked. Uncle Jake shook his head. “Maybe he’s one of those Scarlet Hand weirdos.” “Maybe” Sabrina said. The thought made her worry for Puck which made her feel ridiculous. Since when did she worry about stinky old Puck? She wanted to dig a hole and bury herself.’

-The Blue Plate Special is now hyphenated to The Blue-Plate Special

-Sabrina thinks that she doesn’t care if The Blue Plate Special employs Everafters as long as they can make disco fries.

-There’s a menorah on the counter in the diner!!!

-Jake now clarifies that Farrah owns the diner, not just works there.

-Sabrina’s order changes to add disco fries. (what the heck is disco fries?)

-Sabrina specifies that Heart and Nottingham are in ‘regular’ clothing when they walk in the diner.

-When Sabrina threatens Nottingham, he normally says “You’re bluffing!” and Jake replies, “Is she?” This is gone.

-Sabrina notes that the thump from the Jabberwocky almost knocks the Scarecrow off his stool.

-The wand is no longer knocked from Sabrina’s hand.

Chapter Seven

(This picks up in the diner fight with Red and the Jabberwocky)

-Oh. NOW the wand is knocked from her hand. (Previously it happened in Chapter six towards the tail end)

-Uncle Jake tells them to stay down instead of Sabrina saying that.

-Red’s line about people saying she’s confused and had imagination is gone. (which is really sad because I always liked that line)

-Jake tells Red he “knows where her grandmother and puppy are” to get her to put Heart down.

-Sabrina tells Daphne to stay put as she goes for the wand.

-The whole bit where Sabrina tells Red she’s crazy and Red says ‘Sabrina is making her and her kitty mad’ is gone.

-Puck no longer says he’s a hero now, but the rest of the line is intact.

-Sabrina says “You expect me to apologize because you’re doing a good deed?” to Puck

-Puck’s line “If I’m going to be a good guy, than people are going to notice!” is gone.

-One of Puck’s lines used to go; ‘”Don’t worry girls,” Puck shouted, almost laughing . “I’ve got all this under control!”’ Now it goes, ‘” Don’t worry girls,” Puck shouted sarcastically. “I’ll save you!”’ This change doesn’t make a lot of sense, why would he be sarcastic? I feel like Puck’s dialogue has suffered so much already.

-Puck getting his wings ripped off is still as awful and gut wrenching as normal.

-Instead of backing both Sabrina and Daphne into a corner after Sabrina hits it with lightning, the Jabberwocky only backs Sabrina into a corner.

-Daphne no longer jumps up to run to Mr. Canis when he appears.

-Canis now tells the girls to stay down.

-Red now says she has a basket of goodies for Granny- which is a little too on the nose for me.

-Canis used to say “Get home children.” Now he says, “I will get him (meaning Puck) help girls, you and Jacob need to get home now.”

-The first thing Sabrina asks when she runs in Granny’s room is whether or not Puck will be okay. Originally they talked about Canis first.

-The conversation with Canis about the Wolf is different. Sabrina asks Granny how she could lie when Sabrina had been blaming herself for Canis’ death. I really like this addition.

-Canis also heavily implies he still wants to commit suicide. In the original I feel like it wasn’t as heavily implied that he still actively wants to.

 Chapter Eight

(For context this is the chapter they go under the Hudson to meet the Little Mermaid)

-When they are approaching the sea floor bottom Sabrina says there are soda bottles instead of pop bottles. I googled where in the country people use what term and according to multiple sources, in New York they say soda, so…well done?

-The Little Mermaid now “requires” their presence instead of “seeks” it.

-Lake is corrected to River. I never caught it before that MB accidentally says they’re at the bottom of a lake.

-When describing Ariel it used to say “Still, her over abundant body couldn’t hide the beauty she was”. Now it simply says, “Still, she was beautiful”. While it still describes her as overweight, I suppose it’s not as blatantly negative as it was previously.

-Her hair now reaches her “fins” instead of “ankles” because…she doesn’t have ankles…

-“Back of the little boat” is changed to “stern” We’re teaching nautical terms here, kiddos.

- “Faerie” is now spelled “fairy”. Interested to see where this one goes. It’s used in context of the “Faerie Folk” so we might see more changes about this.

So that’s the updates for 6-8! As always, I think MB needs a better editor. Like full stop. He needs a better editor to catch some of these blatant mistakes. 

I still don’t think removing any of these lines made the story better or made things flow better. At best, I don’t see why MB made the changes he did, and at worst, he stripped us of some of my favorite lines. 

As always let me know what you think because I love hearing your opinions on these!! 

(side note when I search the tag ‘sisters grimm 10th anniversary edition review; on my blog, I’m missing the last few posts of mine. Similarly when I search ‘sisters grimm’ in the general search some of my posts don’t appear so please please please, let me know if you see this!!)

[zephyrthejester]

Three Years Blog Anniversary!

Well, would you look at that. In the blink of an eye, an entire year has gone by! It has now been a grand total of three years since I started up this liveblog, and ever since, it's been a whirlwind of an adventure that has introduced me to amazing shows, amazing games, and above all, amazing people! As has become tradition, it's time for us to gather 'round by the fire, bundle up in blankets, sip some hot cocoa, and reminisce about the shenanigans we got up to in the year 2019.

You know the drill! Click "Keep Reading" to see the rest! Let's go!

January kicked off with the closing episodes to Steven Universe's fifth season, and what a finale it was! In true SU nature, it managed to be wholesome, funny, terrifying, and sad all at once! Not to mention the finale episode specifically, which was rife with both fan service and a breath-taking final confrontation. It even prompted me to type up three whole Addendum posts just so I could get all my thoughts out there. Intermingling with these episodes were some rather poignant and touching episodes of RWBY's 6th Volume, which saw some great plot advancements for some of my favorite characters. And of course, there was one liveblog session early on dedicated to Fate/Stay Night, a series I began back in 2018. And that would end up being the last I'd liveblog about it. Following the technical difficulties of the Visual Novel crashing at an important moment, I lost much of my motivation to keep going at it, putting Fate/Stay Night on the bench... For now. But more on Fate/Stay Night later.

Then came February! Where I proceeded to do absolutely nothing at all. For 42 days, I fell into a pretty bad funk that I called depression, at the time. Well! I must be in a better mental space right now, because until it came time to make this post, I forgot all about it! Moving past the shame I felt for wordlessly abandoning my blog and discord community for over a month, come March I pressed right into a brand new liveblog: Kill la Kill! A frenetic, frantic, freaky series that serves as the spiritual sequel to what was, once upon a time, my favorite anime ever: Gurren Lagann. I was immediately charmed by it's absurdist humor and over-the-top everything. However, it wasn't long before I succumbed to my greatest flaw. I'm exceptionally picky about what I liveblog, and sadly, Kill la Kill didn't tick the boxes that needed to be ticked for me to stick with it. I eventually dropped the series after only three episodes.

Needless to say, I was getting desperate to reinvigorate my lost momentum. It was then and there, at the tail end of March, that I introduced the most significant change to my brand ever: Liveblogging itself was being benched in favor of a fanciful second attempt at running my video game focused Youtube Channel! While I would certainly continue to liveblog new episodes of shows I had previously caught up with, my efforts would be redoubled and focused upon something I hoped would shake things up for me. I put in the effort of buying a new, fancy, high-tech microphone, and set about to new projects!

First up was a tense and troublesome self-imposed-challenge: A playthrough of Resident Evil 2 Remake on its hardest difficulty, with the added stipulation that I can never access the item storage box! My knowledge and skills of that game were put to the test as I skirted by the dangerous zombies and mutants while carrying only the bare essentials on my person. That series lasted 7 videos, plus a Highlight Reel, over about a week. My new microphone really brought out my screams of terror. Yes.

Immediately following the conclusion of the REmake 2 challenge run in early April, a new series debuted: A blind let's play of Subnautica! A simply incredible sci-fi survival game set on a planet that's nearly entirely an ocean... But much to my surprise, it was secretly a horror game all along. Spanning 18 episodes + a highlight reel between April 5th and May 23rd, we descended ever deeper into the abyss, deciphered alien riddles, fled from toothy leviathan-class predators, established a lovely home base, and had a great ol' time overall. A truly remarkable game with a surprisingly good story, for its genre, and it left me eagerly looking forward to making a Let's Play of its sequel: Below Zero.

Simultaneously, beginning on April 10th, I embarked upon yet another adventure that was of such a large scope, I made my channel's primary time slot dedicated to it. The Phoenix Wright Trilogy! A collection of the first three Visual Novels in a wonderful, wonderful series about the titular attorney at law. It wasn't long before I fell in love with this series, big time. It had everything! Immensely satisfying mysteries for me to solve, memorable and lovable characters, great pacing, and it knew how to keep things fresh and interesting. Although I started out the Let's Play by saying I wouldn't read everything aloud, that proved to be a lie. As of now, the series is a whopping 78 videos long (I do expect it to reach 100 before all is said and done), and I have given voice to roughly 50 unique characters so far. The series really helped awaken my Let's Play chops by improving my speech, vocal clarity, and focus. Swapping between my first video ever (for Legend of Grimrock II) and the most recent Phoenix Wright video is a real night-and-day difference! Overall, it's very safe to say that the series has stolen my heart. Unmatched hype, dizzying plot twists, and delightful shenanigans burst from the seams, truly. The Let's Play is currently ongoing, though the end is within sight...

As the Let's Plays of Subnautica and Phoenix Wright Trilogy progressed, so too did the production quality of my videos. I got a better grip on editing, improving the design of my video thumbnails and taking more care to edit out needless and dull moments of gameplay. I even introduced a brief and stylish video intro, which was my avatar appearing over a dark background before it faded off into gameplay. That would be the image up above! However, as we move into 2020, I’ve begun to feel that it could do with a slight improvement... Wink wink!

Following the end of Subnautica came a new Let's Play involving yet another sci-fi horror game: Prey! Spanning 25 videos + a highlight reel between June 3rd and November 19th, it immediately gripped me with its stunning attention to detail, marvelously crafted environments, and boundlessly creative gameplay. It was a pleasure to explore the varied regions of the Talos One space station, blasting aliens, uncovering secrets, untangling the connections between the employees there, and making some seriously difficult moral choices. A truly impressive video game that's just begging for a second playthrough on my own time at some point.

July 20th saw the beginning of new activity on my blog. In a spur-of-the-moment decision that I didn't think out too well, I brazenly announced out of nowhere that I would be doing a re-watch of Steven Universe! I proceeded to liveblog the first 11 episodes of Steven Universe over a week, lovingly looking back at the series' origins, calling out moments of foreshadowing, and analyzing everything with the lens of all my knowledge about the show. And then... Nothing! Just as soon as it began, the project was dropped. I had hoped it would rekindle my interest in Liveblogging (outside of new episodes of SU and RWBY), but I had no such luck. You know I'm burnt out when even Steven Universe, my favorite thing ever, can't help...

By September 3rd, the Steven Universe Movie had finally released! Over a hype-as-hell two days, I liveblogged the entire film. It truly was Steven Universe at its absolute best! Touching, sincere, unexpected, and rife with some stellar songs that are STILL stuck in my head. It proved that the Crewniverse hadn't lost its spark since the conclusion of the original series.

November 5th was my 25th birthday! My family celebrated by all going out for an amazing sushi dinner. Good times! Sometimes, it's really hard for me to grasp that I'm actually 25... I'm a kid at heart, really! Or maybe it's that I'm a social recluse who enjoys watching anime a little too much. Regardless, I feel no shame!

November 10th saw the debut of RWBY Volume 7, and so far it has been an exceptionally strong season. I've long maintained the opinion that the show gets better and better every season, and Volume 7 has given me no reason to doubt that. One episode in particular became my second favorite in the series, right behind a certain one from Volume 6! I'm really enjoying how the characters, new and old, are playing off each other this go around, and the fights and art direction have been no slouch either. This season's a looker! I'm really looking forward to seeing how it ends.

Hot on the heels of the ending Let's Play of Prey, I immediately started up a new series on November 20th... Chrono Trigger! A legendary and widely loved JRPG from the SNES era of gaming that I had somehow gone all my life without playing. Better late than never to fix a mistake like that! I eagerly dived in and nearly immediately understood why it's heralded as an all-time great. The series is currently 13 episodes long, and each one is an endless stream of me being hyped and giddy. I’m already excited to record more!

December 8th saw the debut of Steven Universe Future, a very special epilogue series that's sure to tie a nice bow on the franchise as a whole. As of this post, I have liveblogged the first 8 episodes, and it's fair to say that while it's not holding back in giving the audience exactly what it wants, it's also doing something very unexpected and very, very interesting with Steven himself. Only time will tell how it all ends and whether every remaining mystery will be answered, but so far I have been more than satisfied with it.

And that brings us to the present! Wow, it felt like a lot less happened this year than you would think, huh? No, it's been jam packed with new adventures! I think I am very content with how the year has gone, and I hope you are as well. We'll be striding into the year 2020 with more Steven Universe, more RWBY, more Phoenix Wright, and more Chrono Trigger! Plus, it may very well be that we'll see the return of Made in Abyss and Madoka Magica, both of which (I believe) are getting continuation movies in 2020. I may or may not be entirely wrong about this. Forgive me if I am...

In the near future, the Phoenix Wright Trilogy will be followed up by a Let's Play of Fate/Stay Night! Indeed, the canceled Liveblog will be reborn in youtube video form! And following Chrono Trigger, well... It's mostly up in the air, though I do have a few good ideas. In particular, I recently got a Virtual Reality system set up... Wink wink!

So that's really all there is to it! Cheers, lads! Cheers to a good year, and cheers to the next year being even better! To our good health, our unbreakable friendships, and all the stupid bullshit we’ll get into together! 2020 has arrived!

[douxreviews]

American Gods - ‘Come to Jesus’ Review

Wednesday: "What do you believe, Shadow?" Shadow: "Everything."

American Gods finishes its first season strong, but storms brewing both in front of and behind the camera leave us with questions...

Let's just deal with the elephant in the room up front, since it sort of colors everything about this episode. If you're not the sort of person who follows behind the scenes shenanigans in TV production, allow me to introduce you to the elephant.

A few months after the initial airing of the season one finale, word came out that the showrunners, Brian Fuller and Michael Green, were exiting the show. Details were scarce, and those we did get were probably overblown to a degree, but the general reason given at the time was the traditional 'creative differences' with just a dash of 'budgetary concerns.'  The first series had come in enthusiastically over budget, which probably didn't make the network terribly happy but seems unlikely to be a deal killer on its own. Reports that Fuller and Green quit after clashes with Neil Gaiman over the direction of the show seem equally unlikely, as Neil is a profoundly decent human being and I just can't see him doing that sort of thing.

I suspect, and this is purely my opinion, that it was a combination of little things and was probably fairly amicable. It would appear, based on choices that they made in series one, that Fuller and Green saw the show more as an anthology series, with Wednesday and Shadow serving as a vehicle to explore other stories set in the universe. Gaiman was reported as wanting a more direct adaptation of the novel. The network, probably a little irritated with the overspending, came down on Gaiman's side, and so Fuller and Green moved on to other projects.

Again that's just my personal guess. What we do know for certain is that whatever happened behind the scenes led to both Gillian Anderson and Kristin Chenoweth deciding not to return for season two, which leaves a curious plot void after the conclusion of this episode.

We'll look at how this was handled when we talk about the season two premiere, but for now suffice it to say that it's impossible to watch this episode without being aware that both of them are about to exit prematurely, which definitely affects watching it now.

Whew. That's a lot of preliminary elephant.

So, after that brief come to Jesus moment, let's talk about 'Come to Jesus.'

As long as I'm breaking my own rules about what we do and don't consider in these reviews, I'll note that Jesus is notably absent in the novel. He gets a couple of mentions, but never actually pops in to have a chat. In the 10th anniversary edition there's a sort of appendix where Neil includes a portion of a chapter where Shadow meets Jesus, but notes that the interaction never felt exactly right for the story and so he kept not including it in the novel proper.

Here, almost as if to compensate, we have a lot of Jesuses. So many Jesuses that we're going to need a collective noun for a group of Jesuses, and I'm going to suggest that we call it a Faith. So, Wednesday and Shadow, and Mad Sweeney and Laura, arrive independently at the home of Ostara, aka Easter. Ostara is one of your 'harvest/fertility/spring/rebirth' sort of deities, and the nominal foundation of the holiday of Easter before early Christianity colonized it. She has the whole place tatted up for her annual celebration of herself, Easter, and is politely ignoring the many Jesuses who have kind of overrun the place.

So, no visual metaphor for the displacement of old beliefs there, no sir.

Easter is kind of a crystallization of a couple of things that have been going on over the course of the first season. For one thing she's the final instance of Wednesday individually seeking out an old god, wherever they might have ended up, and making a sales pitch for them to join his upcoming war. The fact that he appears to be successful in this case is deeply entwined with the other plot thread which she represents. Namely, the various ways that many of the old gods have or have not been co-opted and suborned by the new gods who have replaced them. Czernobog was never suborned, he was forgotten and left to rot. Vulcan allowed himself to be redefined completely, substituting bullets for volcanoes. Wednesday was offered the same deal as Vulcan and turned it down. Sweeney was never important enough for the new gods to even bother with – he'd been co-opted by General Mills long before. And Bilquis... well, we'll come back to Bilquis in a moment.

Easter shows us yet another variation on the theme; instead of being redefined, she's allowed herself to be overwritten. Christianity came along and claimed her special day, and pretended that the bunnies and the eggs had been part of their thing all along. And over the centuries, as the focus on her special day turned more and more away from her and toward whichever Jesus you happened to root for, she became more and more entrenched in her self delusion that it was really still all about her, deep down. They still followed all the old practices with the egg hiding and the rabbits, so she couldn't have been forgotten. Kristin Chenoweth did a great job here showing us a woman whose illusions are being brutally stripped away. She's made herself comfortable behind a layer of artifice, and once that's gone she faces the situation and reclaims her power. That's the point of her elaborate hairstyle coming undone and her hair falling wildly around her shoulders while Media's hat blows away. It's the pagan forces reasserting their power over the forces retraining them.

That said, while I appreciate what's happening thematically, and Mr. Wednesday is clearly successful in convincing Easter to reclaim her power and force humanity to worship her again, I'm almost positive that if Kentucky had a huge crop blight humanity's first response probably wouldn't be, 'Oh, I guess we should probably pray to Easter to take care of this.' Call me cynical.

Women being disempowered by men who fear them was a pretty strong theme all around this episode, and nowhere more so than the story of Bilquis, as told to us by Mr. Nancy. The visuals of Bilquis were great, particularly the fade from her ancient face makeup to her disco face makeup. I really like that we saw her in pre-revolutionary Tehran in the 70s. It's a period that American schools say absolutely nothing about, as if we talked about it we might have to discuss our own unfortunate involvement. Generally, I expect that US audiences know next to nothing about what Iran was like before the revolution, and that may be partly what made the incoming revolutionaries shooting up Bilquis' disco such a strong image for the female disempowerment metaphor they were building.

Watching Bilquis slowly deteriorate in the new world was heartbreaking, and it made perfect sense that she'd fall in with the new gods after Technical Boy offered her a new altar in the form of hook up aps. She doesn't seem to happy to be working for them now, however. It'll be interesting to see where that goes.

Which brings us to Laura, yet another woman who men are attempting to disempower. In this case it was Mr. Wednesday, via Mad Sweeney who had her killed, or as Sweeney puts it, 'sacrificed,' for no other reason than that he needed her out of the way so he could get to Shadow. And because it was a god who had her killed, Easter can't give her back the gift of life, which is convenient from a storytelling perspective. It also presented a great opportunity for the story to have Laura find out that Wednesday had her killed and sabotaged her casino robbery. Although I feel like we as a people need to accept that the 'eye holds the last image before it's death' trope is kind of tired at this point. Maybe let's rest that one for awhile.

So, ultimately season one was all about two things. Getting Shadow to a place where he is ready to believe in the existence of Odin and the other gods, and getting Mr. World to a place where he's willing to publicly commit to going to war against the old gods. Thanks to a prodigious sprinkling of Jesuses, this episode accomplishes both. I could have lived without Wednesday running over the bunnies though.

Quotes:

Mr. Nancy: "We should start with a story." Wednesday: "Oh Jesus, Nancy." Mr. Nancy: "I’m gonna tell you a story." Wednesday: "We haven’t got time for a story. Just do the f**king work." Mr. Nancy: "Let me tell a goddamn story!"

Mr. Nancy: "So long as I’m still alive, I can adapt. I still know what I am."

Technical boy: "Worship is a volume business. Whosoever has the most followers wins the game."

Wednesday: "Do not confuse confusion for anger."

Shadow: "I love Easter." Wednesday: "Many do. Some for the rabbits. Some for the resurrection."

Wednesday: "Believing is seeing. Gods are real if you believe in them."

Jesus: "I… feel terrible about this."

Technical Boy: "Hands free, honeypot. I have no intention of spending the rest of my days feeding your soul from the vagina nebula."

Media: "We popularized the pagan. We practically invented brunch."

Laura: "I will squeeze them straight out of the sack. It’ll be like shucking peas. I swear to Jesus. He’s right outside."

Media: "Put a pillow over that feeling and bear down until it stops kicking."

Bits and Pieces:

-- Jesus, sitting cross legged on the surface of a swimming pool with a drink sets his glass down next to him. The glass immediately sinks to the bottom of the pool. I get why they couldn't resist that sight gag, but there was really no reason for him to be sitting on the pool otherwise. Still funny, though.

-- So, after killing Vulcan, Mr. Wednesday and Shadow went directly to Mr. Nancy's place so that he could make them dapper new suits for the Easter party. Nancy knows that Wednesday killed Vulcan, but Easter believes the lie that it was the new gods who did it. That whole plotline is a little muddy.

-- What exactly is Mr. Nancy's relationship with the spiders? Are they his friends? Does he control them? I have so many questions.

-- I really hope Orlando Jones is enjoying his wardrobe for this series, because I certainly am. His outfits get more and more fabulous.

-- Are the bunnies all CGI? They have to be CGI, right?

-- One of the available Easter cookies was a sugar cookie in the shape of a hand, with red jelly in a neat circle in the center of the palm. I watched this episode four times before getting that.

-- I'm old enough that I remember it firsthand, but it seems just unfathomable that there was a point when smoking on airplanes was a thing.

-- Media seemed genuinely sad to lose Easter as a friend.

-- There's an adorable moment when Easter primps herself in her reflection on the sword while Wednesday is giving her his sales pitch.

-- Do ice cream trucks automatically play music when they're in gear? Because TV shows are unable to resist the music playing in inappropriate circumstances.

-- Sweeney still didn't tell Laura what he sacrificed for her last episode, even when she had him four feet in the air by his balls.

-- It was a serious mistake for Media to take the hard line with Easter over Mr. Wednesday's offer. That's what ultimately made up Easter's mind.

-- Technical boy comes up as 'The Man' on Bilquis' phone. You just know that he programmed that himself.

-- Genre fans should note, the primary Jesus we see here is played by Jeremy Davies. He's as good as you're imagining.

A really strong finish for a really strong year. Easter and Media are going to be missed.

Three and three quarter out of four CGI Bunnies. Is that allowed?

Mikey Heinrich is, among other things, a freelance writer, volunteer firefighter, and roughly 78% water.

[sinceileftyoublog]

Mint Field Interview: Return to the Light

Photo by Adrianna Tangassi

BY JORDAN MAINZER

Take a look at the cover for Mint Field’s debut album Pasar de las Luces: two eyes, everything else obscured by black. It’s about how much the then duo of Estrella del Sol Sánchez and Amor Amezcua let you in, creating mere moods with instrumental expanse, letting whatever image the music conjures up to the listener. Then, look at the cover for their recent EP Mientras Esperas: a photo by photographer Adrianna Tangasi, taken by a lake in San Diego, reveals much more even if from afar: the now trio, including touring bassist Sebastian Neyra. Likewise, the music, including its composition and structure, is much more clear, despite increased levels of distortion. The message resonates: This is the new Mint Field.

The Tijuana-based band--a mix of shoegaze, dream pop, and krautrock--has seen tremendous growth over the past few years. When they were recording their debut, Sánchez and Amezcua had barely picked up their instruments. They slowly learned to play as they toured, and the songs on Mientras Esperas originated from soundchecks and were written last year between tours, recorded in mid-October in Los Angeles. As radically different as it sounds from Pasar de las Luces, according to the band, Mientras Esperas is a mere transition; they already have demos for their next album, which they’re hoping to record this summer and release either later this year or early next year.

I spoke to the band from Mexico City, the day before they played the 10th anniversary of Festival NRML. They’re about to embark on an East Coast and Midwest tour with California indie band Film School, which includes a stop at the Empty Bottle on Sunday. Read our conversation below, edited for length and clarity.

Since I Left You: Is the title of Mientras Esperas (“while you were waiting”) a reference to something like, “While you’re waiting, here’s something between the debut and the next album”?

Estrella del Sol Sánchez: Yeah, it could be something like that. But I also think it’s a reference to waiting for something to happen. It could be music, it could be anything.

SILY: When did you realize you wanted to make Sebastian a permanent part of the band?

ES: He was playing with us since May of 2017, and it was just very natural. We just started touring at that time in Mexico. Last year, we were touring a lot, so we were playing almost every day. With him, we have a special connection playing. We were like, “Yeah, of course, why not.” He’s an amazing bass player and musician. He was a very nice contribution to the band.

SILY: What exactly do you think he brings that’s different than you had before?

ES: Amor and I taught ourselves how to play. We never took lessons. At the beginning, we were just figuring out how to play instruments. He has a more clear idea on how to settle down songs. He’s a very good musician. He knows how to take the song to another level. I feel like sometimes that’s what you need. It’s not that you can’t do it, you just need someone to push you to do better things. He was that person.

SILY: When I read that you had just recently learned how to play your instruments, I was amazed. Pasar de las Luces definitely doesn’t sound like that. It is very aesthetically definitive, though, and Mientras Esperas is more varied.

ES: I think the EP is supposed to be like that. I feel like it’s this step to get to the next record.

Amor Amezcua: It’s like a new phase in us. We want to experiment with new sounds we’ve learned. This EP, we wanted to do a transition to the next LP we’re gonna release. We already have songs to the new album.

SILY: A song like “Jardin de la Paz” sounds like it could be on the first album, but “Ella Se Queda” has much more of a groove and is much more fuzzy and rock-oriented than anything on the first album. And “Vamos Rapido” is very folky.

ES: I think it’s important to say that most of these songs, especially the first two, were made during soundcheck. They reflect how we sound live. I think Pasar de las Luces is a very studio album. To be honest, I don’t think it sounds like that live. It has a lot of layers and is spacey and ambient. This EP is very live.

SILY: What’s the inspiration behind the album art of Mientras Esperas?

AA: We wanted to of course face it, that this is the new face of Mint Field, so we thought it would be important to appear on the cover. “This is the three of us, and this is how we sound.” It’s something we haven’t done, and we didn’t grow up doing that. Especially me, I don’t always feel super comfortable with pictures. The girl who took these pictures is a long friend of mine, and I’ve always thought she’s a very good photographer. She has a very different style than the picture of the EP, but she’s very good. I asked her if she could take the pictures, and she was like, “Yeah of course.” We told her we wanted black and white and a little bit of a nostalgic feeling on the pictures, and she was like, “Okay, yeah.” It turned out very nice. We’re all very happy with the cover. The point is that we were facing what we are and the new us in the cover.

SILY: Have you played the new songs live before?

AA: We’ve played some of the songs on the past European tour. We had a tour with the band Ulrika Spacek in the U.S., and we also played those songs there. We played these songs before recording them live, so we needed to play them more live to figure out how to record them.

SILY: Is there anything you’ve been listening to, watching, or reading lately that’s caught your attention?

AA: I’ve been listening to Mexican bands. These bands who are going to play NRMAL tomorrow. El Shirota. There’s another girl from Panama who is a mix of a lot of countries. Her name is Michelle Blades, and she’s also very good. I’ve been very excited for NRMAL, so I’ve been listening to who we’re going to see tomorrow. I’ve been listening to Massive Attack, also. Boards of Canada, Aphex Twin.

[ao-anonymousobsesser]

So I'm writing a VLD fic

@comfortably-chaotic-mind I'm tagging you bc you know this fic and I'm sure you'll want to hear this lol plus this is kind of a funny story...sorry for the long post though

Everybody else, I'm very very very sorry you have to put up with this but I'm really upset about this right now so I gotta get this out

Basically, Keith's dad was super close with the latest Admiral of the Galaxy Garrison. Like I'm not sure what happened with them (maybe graduated together?? or the admiral taught him some life lesson??? idk) but Kogane trusts Dos Santos with his LIFE okay

And he basically says that Dos Santos is Keith's godfather in his will

So when Kogane dies...Dos Santos shows up and is like bitch u ain't takin this boi to the home

So Keith becomes like the housecat-ghostboy-orphan of the Galaxy Garrison. He likes sitting with the old people, climbing in the rafters, and sneaking around to scare the shot out of the cadets.

He's also an avid reader. (A personal headcanon of mine but blown up to a massive proportion.)

Like I mean this boy eats books for breakfast lunch and dinner. If he's awake, he's reading. He listens to audio books to fall asleep half the time (the other half of the time he's blasting Disturbed or FOB or something edgy like that).

This boy has read every book that could even VAGUELY be considered interesting.

Okay, let me just tell you:

The average school library has a ratio of between 10 and 20 books per student.

Let's say the Garrison has 5000 students (just larger than West Points cadet count) and their ratio is small at 10. That's 50000 books in the library.

Probably 10000 are extra copies or second/third/twelfth editions of the same books (going by the ratio of 1/5 that my school had). That's still 40000.

I'm gonna be nice and say that 500 are reference books, another 500 are random (small, informational or entertaining, don't fit a special category), 25000 are nonfiction, and 14000 are nonfiction.

Keith is almost 13 at this point in the story.

As an avid reader myself, I started reading at four. Keith started at five in the story.

I was six when I read my first 200pager. So was Keith.

So let's say he started on the smallest books in the Garrison at age 5. That's 500 in a year. About a book and a half a day.

Boom. Down to 35500 books in the library.

(As we all know, I hope, the library will rotate books, causing the number to fluctuate a bit. But let's say for the sake of math that it stays this way)

His dad already gets supplies from the Garrison (because he lives on Garrison property shhh it makes sense) so he starts asking for more books because Keith is just eating them up.

So the countdown to 15000 starts.

This is where I should explain that I literally lived down the road from a small town library until I was ten years old. I know what it's like to have access to books. I went to the library with my uncle every saturday afternoon. The librarian knew my name and used to come to my soccer games when he could. He was my best friend.

I remember when I was about seven I started getting frustrated because I would go through all my books in the first few days of the week and then be out until Saturday. I started taking my bookbag with me. I made my uncle (in his teens) take one, too. We crammed anywhere from thirty to sixty books into those bags and carried more with us.

The only reason we got away with it (because there was a 20 book limit) was because we had six library cards between the three of us--i had mine and my mom's, my uncle had his, his best friends, and my grandma's, and the library dude was nice enough to lend us his if we needed it.

So yeah. On a good week, I got about seventy books. That's ten books a day.

(I should explain that I still went to school. I went to public school with plenty of kids who hated reading enough for all of us. I had teachers who either insisted I was some kind of genius--i wasnt--or banished me to the hallway for reading Jane Austen during reading time when they specifically said to pick something at the class reading level. I know this life. It's kinda sucky.)

So yeah. Ten books a day, seven days a week, for fifty-two weeks. I got through the entire small-town library (4000 books) in just over a year.

Yes, I even read the reference books. Yes, I had to ask for help with some of the more sophisticated books in the library. (Yes, I skipped a few of the research books. I was eight. Sue me.)

What I'm saying is that it is realistic for me to have Keith reading 5 or 6 thousand books a year for eight years, because in this story he has LITERALLY NOTHING ELSE TO DO.

His dad homeschools him without schooling him at all (unschooling, look it up on wikipedia--yes I know it probably doesn't work like that, but it's my AU and I do what I want). Then his dad dies when he's just over eight and he's alone in the house for a year. Just books to keep him company.

Then (after meeting Sam Holt) he starts trekking out to the Garrison, creeping around the halls and camping out in the library when he feels like it.

He makes friends with the campus librarian. Professors give him books for his birthday. At twelve, he got Sam and Dos Santos to help him build a room onto the old shack so his books weren't just lying wherever in the house. The room has twelve bookcases (three on each wall) each with five shelves (60 shelves total) and full of books (about 2000 books total, give or take).

He doesn't socialize a lot (he's still Keith) but it's not that he doesn't want to. It's just that he's awkward (he's still KEITH). If people would stick around for a while (more than ten minutes), he's actually really cool and funny, even if he's a little defensive/shorttempered/oblivious/clueless.

(Just because you're smart and read a lot doesn't mean you understand everything. Just because you know how to make jokes doesn't mean you always catch them or that you understand idioms or innuendos or anything that isn't straight talk.)

His jokes are literature based. He uses sarcasm a lot even though half the time it comes out wrong. He identifies with both Darcy and Elizabeth on a spiritual level.

He has a room at Dos Santos' that has a bookcase full of composition notebooks, themselves full of notes on all the books he's read, little doodles of scenes he really likes, and jokey little summaries of long reference passages.

He's a nerd who never had to learn how to socialize with real people. He LIKES people. He's not a robot, and he doesn't automatically hate you on sight.

He's just been through a lot in his life, and he's still just a lonely little kid.

Anyway. Keith reads about twenty fiction/short books some days, four longer reference/textbook books other days. It varies. It took him six hours to get through Under the Dome, and there was one time he read eleven aeronautics manuals in eight hours and then passed out for fourteen, but mostly he takes longer for reference books/textbooks than fiction books/memoirs.

Also he's read the dictionary/thesaurus like forty times by the time he's thirteen and he shows ZERO sign of stopping. It's basically a religion at this point.

So let me break this down again:

Garrison library has 50,000 books. Minus 10,000 because they're copies/lame editions. That's 40,000 books.

1000 are reference books or random (small, informational or entertaining, don't fit a special category) books, 25000 are nonfiction/memoir/diagram based/school or lesson based, and 14000 are nonfiction.

Keith starts reading at five. His first five hundred are done when he's six--he starts on the next five hundred and finishes within months. His dad starts asking for larger shipments.

By the time Keith is seven, he's read 2000 books.

We're down to 38,000 books in the Garrison library.

Between seven and eight, he reads another 3000. Down to 35,000 books in the Garrison library.

A couple months later (500 books down, 34,500 to go) his dad dies. He's alone in the house for 10 months, only books to keep him company.

He reads another 4,000 books in this time. By the time he turns nine, he's reading at a high school level. 30,500 to go.

Sam visit on his ninth birthday. He brings more books, invites him to visit the Garrison sometime. The librarian could use some company.

Keith does.

By the time he's ten, he's read another 6,500 books. It's a really good year. 24,000 to go.

Age 10-11: 6,000 books. 18,000 to go.

Age 11-12: 5,750 books.12,250 to go

He's turning 13 in a few weeks. This year he has so far read 5,375 books. He wants to hit 5500 again. For the five year anniversary.

It's not a good year. He's not feeling great. He starts talking to Matt more than he used to. Matt pushes him a little. He says he can do it. Keith believes him. He's never lied to him before.

(That Keith knows of. What goes to his benefit is unnecessary knowledge for him.)

He hits 5,500. 6,750 to go.

This is where I am now.

Now by all accounts, there are a few notes I should make.

There is a portion of books at Keith's home that he has not read. They are books the librarian gave him because she knew he hadn't read them before they were getting rotated out for a new shipment. This is probably 500 books.

That makes the total 7,250.

Less than ten thousand.

He has read 33,250 books in eight years (ages 5 to 13). Average: 4156.25 books per year, 11.3 books per day.

I'm almost twenty and I read 55,383 books between the ages of 4 and 18 (between the first book I read at home and the last book I read before my graduation ceremony). Average: 3955.93~ books per year, 10.8 books per day.

I didn't have a lot of friends. I was bffs with every librarian I met/had. In 10th grade world history we had to give one cool/weird fact in an introductory assignment and I told them I had read every book in the school library. No one believed me. I told them I could prove it. She said go ahead.

"I have read every book in the school library. The librarian can vouch for me. They have not rotated their books since I was in eighth grade. My grandmother works here, so I know. There are exactly 17,488 books in the library, not including extra copies or "editions" like all they did was change two sentences in the intro that's hardly new information. But whatever. I started reading that year. I made a list of every book i read that year. There were 3272. That's 14216 to go--all of which were in the fiction and nonfiction sections. My grandmother checked them out. If you go into her records from that year and take that list and add it to my list from last year in 9th grade, you'll see that I read every single book. I started with the reference section that year and then went to the manga, then the nonfiction, then the historical fiction, then the fantasy fiction. I had already read most of the books in the fiction section. 6,791 out of 7,918 to be exact. That's 7425 to go. I'd also read 3577 if the 6298 nonfiction books. That's 3848 to go. Over the course of the last school year, which lasted exactly 42 weeks, I checked out 30 books every Monday and 50 books every Thursday. That's eighty books every week. Times 42, that's 3360. 488 left. I hung out with my grandmother while she worked over the summer. I kept my reading up, only for the first half. By the end of July--the 29th--I had read the rest. That's nine books a day every day. Don't believe me? Ask the librarian."

So the teacher did.

She put the librarian on speakerphone.

The librarian went on a full ten minute rant about how ridiculously difficult it was checking out fifty books at a time.

My history teacher wouldn't come within 2ft of my desk until after holiday break, and she didn't go into the library at all that year.

Moral of the story: IT IS TOTALLY LOGICAL/ACCEPTABLE THAT I HAVE KEITH READING OVER 30,000 BOOKS IN EIGHT YEARS IN THIS FIC OKAY PLEASE DON'T COME AT ME OVER THIS

[chibalein]

Kalafina Live Review - 10th Anniversary

Finally it’s available and I watched the whole 10th Anniversary Live (again and again), so I thought I’d give a review on it. Here is my original Live Report -> click. My opinions didn’t really change much, though, so I’ll be repeating myself here and there :p Here we go!

Ring your bell ~ in the silence

I love that intro, especially with those flags opening

other than that, boring entrance -> the 9+ONE intro would have PERFECT for that occasion

Ring your bell

fuck that song

However, I like the performance, surely one of their best, I love their bright smiles and movements

 BUT it gave me reminder of why I don’t like this song: the final “ring your bell”s, Wakana always makes me cringe

Quick opinion: I really came to hate Keiko’s dress. Not the colors or the golden/black pattern, that’s pretty cool: it’s those lace shoulder pads and the leather corsage. They make her chest area look super bulky and the chest part of the dress is not form-fitting at all. She has such a beautiful body but this dress just doesn’t support it.

Mirai

Fuck that sooong and everyone who voted for it

But even I have to say, I have a lot of fun watching them perform, they move around, interact with the audience, it’s lovely and more carefree

Lirica

Definitely one highlight of the night

I realized for the first time that the Strings are actually plucking their instruments lol I thought it was a background sound by the manipulator

I barely hear Hikaru in the chorus, is she singing high or low? xD

Keiko is the best here, so deep and dramatic!

Booooring stage show. No movements by the girls is one thing, but no special light show or anything? They could have been so creative with this dark piece..

Manten

OMG some choreography

Wakana is greeeeeat

Yane no mukou ni

First performance where I almost cried during the actual live, perfect and emotional

Still don’t like Hikaru here, she sounds like she is shouting which kills all emotions she might have had while singing

Cool plucking violins at the end, never noticed they do this

Hikari no senritsu

overplaaaayed

OMG light dude, DO SOMETHING

Best flute solo of all time

Quick opinion: all the performances where I criticise the lack of creativity, movement etc. look actually great on the DVD, because we have the cameras. Changing angles, focus on each girl, their faces, the audience and the band give variety and it makes it look a lot more interesting. But sitting in the actual audience is absolutely tiring, because there is just nothing happening on stage. It’s just like you listen to a CD, especially if you had a seat in the far back and could only rely on the screen. Such a shame and waste.

Storia

oh god no

their steps in the middle part are all over the place XD

fun and good performance

Quick opinion: almost all songs by now have been completely or partly illuminated in blue light. Uncreative? Yes.

Natsu no Ringo

Hikaru again sounds strange and shouting, she definitely was edited

Other than that super beautiful performance, Wakana was in top form that night

Serenato

Another big highlight, one of the best performances Kalafina ever did

Actually a nice, refreshing intro by the accordion, but I personally find it kinda dominant throughout the song, which was a bit distracting and which I didn’t really feel in the actual live

ARIA

Hikaru sings lower and I like it a lot, although they definitely enhanced her voice to sound a bit “prettier”

she did such an emotional and sad performance, you could see that is not struggling as hard as e.g. in Red Day

Sprinter

that Keiko hug

finally some action on stage and interaction with fans!

super fun to watch and OMG Keiko is using the pedestal

Oblivious

still bad place in the setlist

great AMV and surely also a highlight, sadly this is the only special treatment for their debut song, should have been celebrated more

Poor Hikaru gets always ignored during WaKei duet lol

Kizuato

Great performance, I adore that song

Keiko’s voice a bit too cute for me here

Kimi ga Hikari ni Kaeteyuku

Keiko’s stupid cutesy voice

Very emotional and those sad faces at the end kill me every time

I just realized that they have sung all Kara no Kyoukai songs in a row XD

Quick opinion: It’s like they only have red, white and green filters, all while the light technician’s finger is apparently stuck on the blue light button. This is BUDOKAN! This is ALL you can deliver?!

Kantankatan

I honestly wonder why this song made it into the setlist. Hyakka Ryouran sure, being their most recent single, but why this B-side song (and e.g. why not Tombo?). Since fans couldn’t vote for it, it makes me think that the girls just really love this song and wanted it included in their last recorded live performance.

Wakana is simply perfect, Hikaru... well... she’s there. Where has her “neverending” voice gone to?

Where is the second violin dude? Toilet break?

This song becomes so much better when the Strings join in the last part

Symphonia

I still hate Keiko’s dress

omg girls, please move around or something

good and nice performance

Red Moon

finally SOME DARK SONG and finally something for the eye with the video

Hikaru still sounds kinda weak, but during the actual live she was barely audible, so I guess that’s a plus here

Keiko is amazing, you can hear her so clearly! Wakana too! Epic performance

Waaaaay too much blue for a song called Red Moon

Adore

Flashback to After Eden with Red Moon -> Adore xD

Wakana is suuuper!

What the hell is wrong with you Hikaru? What happened after After Eden? She’s sooo shouty, this is definitely her weakest performance of the night

Great violin solo

OMG they use the pedestals FOR THE FIRST TIME and they use it for GODDAMN 12 SECONDS

And I noticed they actually played some video -> good!

To the beginning

finally after way too long, an upbeat song since Sprinter (which is 6 songs ago)

It took me years to realize that they sing “down to zero we go”, however Hikaru sounds suuuper strange singing that line

finally some light action, took you long enough, eh

That Keiko punch at the end xD Not enough of those cool shots

Progressive

YEAH SOME REAL ACTION

also one of the best performances of the night, I love Keiko here, she’s moving so much and having so much fun, it’s infectious

Hikaru killed it and that very last line is awesome

Ongaku

Aaaaw that hug in the beginning

of course, Ongaku is a must, I still think this would have been a better entrance or encore song

look at this power, fantastic

those band solos are the best thing of the whole concert, honestly I love them so hard

however, accordion solo is so out of place and unnecessary beyond belief

Bongo duuuuuuude, LOOK AT HIS FACE I can’t even xD

KONNO HITOSHI VIOLIN EPICNESS!!!!!!! With great justice he got the best reaction from the audience

They edited that Keiko jump/hug, it took her much longer to reach Wakana xD

The interaction between the girls is gorgeous, something we have been missing overall a bit

they included the flute at the end too, very nice (I suppose the accordion too, but fuck that)

that was the best Ongaku performance they ever did

Heavenly Blue

they still should have gone to MC after Ongaku

other than that, good performance I guess

Into the World

well hello there blue filter, it’s been a while

is it just me or has Keiko been made more dominant than she is supposed to be in the beginning?

Nightmare Ballet

come one, at least do that Zaregoto BGM THAT SOME ASSHOLE CUT FROM 9+ONE!

Great intro by accordion though, her duet with Sakurada is so cute

I feel I should take that blue spotlights to a date by now, because I have spent more time with them today than with my boyfriend

Great performance by the band, though too late into the concert in my opinion

Hikari Furu

best performance of this song of all time

Wakana kills it so hard, I feel bad for the others

fantastic mix of normal and acoustic version

that epic pause, THAT EPIC PAUSE

Quick opinion: I am not the biggest fan of those white “wedding” dresses. While their “final” version is pretty cool, I don’t like the veils, simply because they serve no purpose, especially since they’ll be thrown away immediately afterwards.

Hyakka Ryouran

nice flute intro

Red-Blue-Red-Blue-Red-Blue FUCK YOU

Ah, that middle HiKei dance, now you finally can see what I was talking about in my live reports. Wakana would have been better standing on the middle stairs though... #needless nitpicking

the flags are waving, that’s admittedly pretty cool

great performance of everyone, good that this song made it into the setlist

Alleluia

this doesn’t have many live recordings I think, so I am really glad that Alleluia made it as the last and most popular song of the night

definitely a marvellous farewell song for Keiko

look how powerful she sings, she knew this was her last big performance and she delivered

- Why is the manipulator celebrated to heavily? Is he particularly popular or something? XD

- Ehm, Wakana’s dress are actually pants? Do I have that correct? XD

- They should have thrown in “snow falling” as a surprise encore, just for the joke

-------------------------------

+ the musicians brought in so much variety and creativity even in highly overplayed songs, they made this truly a special concert

+ very good camera work, some great and cute shots and not so many cuts like in 9+ONE for example

- apparently an intern did the lighting here, I can’t explain this amateur work otherwise

- it’s a pity that there wasn’t any extra content included like some kind of Making Of or something on the Commemoration Lives. Sure, they reserved it for the movie, but still, at least something would have been nice

I really love this Live, although I had a lot of criticism. Kalafina delivered and they gave some of their best performances of their career. It was worth it all and it’s simply sad that this is their last concert. They deserved better treatment for this and it should have been even more special, with more effort and creativity by the staff/the agency.

Oops, that became longer than intended, sorry! Thanks for reading!

[putschki1969]

Kalafina 10th Anniversary Film Interviews ~ Highlights/Summary/Translation

Source 1: https://www.animatetimes.com/news/details.php?id=1520904726 Source 2: https://spice.eplus.jp/articles/178230 Source 3: https://news.walkerplus.com/article/139920/

Note: These interviews contain quite a lot of interesting info so I thought I’d provide a summary/translation of all the juicy bits (details regarding the movie’s content, some background info on their 10th Anniversary Live, a glimpse at ‘their future’!)

~ Regarding their 10th Anniversary Film ~

The film will have a runtime of 1h 40 minutes

According to Keiko it apparently contains a lot more live footage than anyone expected

Wakana says the film is packed with live performances from their 10th Anniversary Live (which has me quite worried because maybe all these cameras were only there to film footage for the movie after all o.O I definitely didn’t expect them to show THAT much of the live in their documentary. I am assuming this will be similar to their 5th Anniversary WOWOW release which showed a total of 11 songs...)

One of the songs is most likely “sprinter”

This film will include solo interviews. Aside from that there will also be an interview with the director 河東茂 (I have no idea how to read his name, my best guess would be Kato/Kawahigashi Shige.) Seems like the girls have become pretty close to the director, they were a bit intimidated by the prospect of having a director around them all the time but he immediately let them know that formalities were not necessary. They are even on a first name basis! The girls have only good things to say about him, apparently he always made sure they were comfortable.

Big sections of the movie will be dedicated to following each member to important places of their past. Hikaru considers those parts the most interesting aspects of the film. Seems like they learned a lot about each other while watching these solo scenes. This also applies to the footage we get of their solo rehearsal sessions.

On the day of their Fukuoka Acoustic Tour performance they filmed Wakana’s section. Wakana is taking us along to visit Tenjin, a popular downtown area in Fukuoka. Apparently we will get a glimpse at a place where she used to work part-time and a club where she used to perform on a regular basis.

Keiko is taking us along to Shibuya. However, it seems like it wasn’t a particularly nostalgic experience for her. She says everything in Tokyo changes so rapidly, none of the places she used to frequent exist anymore. She actually felt quite lost when she walked around the area. However it did feel nice to walk down the streets where she used to go home from vocal training school back in the day.

Hikaru says that contrary to Tokyo, nothing ever really changes in her hometown in Toyama. She takes us along to a YAMAHA place where she used to take vocal lessons. She says everything still looks the same. Keiko comments that after watching the movie, everyone will want to go there and take lessons. Alas, the music classes are no longer offered but you can still check out the place. As we have already seen in the trailer, Hikaru’s section also includes footage from their acoustic live. It’s very special because we get to see Hikaru cry which is a rare thing to happen. Both Keiko and Wakana think it’s great that this special moment will forever be captured on film. Even staff and band members were surprised to see her cry this much. Hikaru suspects it’s because she was visiting all these nostalgic locations earlier in the day. There’s also mention of a funny moment during one of the MCs when Hikaru was talking. Keiko is seen turning away and seemingly ignoring Hikaru. Keiko was quite shocked to find out that scene had made it into the final cut. She was like, “why are you showing this moment where you can only see my back? Why couldn’t I just stand there and support Hikaru the same way as Wakana? Why was I talking to the freaking wall???” (LOL at Keiko worrying about such things) At the end of the day Keiko is happy though because they managed to include so much lovely footage from Hikaru’s “triumphal return performance”.

Hikaru’s favourite scene in the movie is the opening scene when we get to see them walk up the stairs onto the stage of Budokan. She thinks it’s so perfect because it somehow symbolises the progress they have made. Just looking at the backs of the other two members conveys their will to move forward. She doesn’t even have to see their faces to be motivated, she will pretty much follow them everywhere. It’s so funny because the interviewer gets all cheeky and says, "but it’s not really your backs we are seeing, it’s your legs!” Keiko thinks that’s hilarious and explains that Hikaru is just too innocent to talk about legs so she would rather use the word ‘back’. Anyways, Keiko agrees that it’s very fitting that a movie about all the progress they have made would start with a ‘leg scene’.

Another scene that’s precious to all of them contains footage of one of their Janken sessions for the recording of their regular radio show Kalafina Club. Apparently something super funny happened, something that has NEVER happened before, Everyone should be looking forward to that scene because it's absolutely hilarious. And Keiko wants us all to know that it definitely wasn’t staged or anything. (I wonder which episode it was and if that incident made it into the final cut of the episode. In the trailer when you see them playing Janken, it says it’s the 25th on that ‘face training’ calendar but I am not sure which month.)

Something else to look forward to: A detailed scene of them changing outfits during their 10th Anniversary Live (including all the mistakes that can happen in such situations). Wakana explains that everything always seems so peaceful to the audience while the band is playing but their outfit changes are actually crazy stressful (I guess we already got a glimpse of that during the Best Documentary but this time we’ll get to see even more). Apparently Wakana had quite some trouble with her outfit, first she forgot something (I am assuming it was her big tulle skirt attached to the corsage thingy) and then the zipper wouldn’t work. *poor Wa-chan*

~ Regarding their 10th Anniversary LIVE ~

I am guessing these are things that will be mentioned in the film in some way, shape or form but for all of us who won’t be seeing the movie any time soon, here are some background infos regarding their anniversary concert.

Hikaru was the one who chose the BGM for the intermission. (I wonder if that means that she always gets to pick it)

Wakana says that even though they sang 27 songs (without really getting any proper breaks) she never felt tired or exhausted. Her throat and singing voice may have gotten a little tired throughout the live (she is only human after all) but her body seemed to have endless energy. She says it’s thanks to the past year where they kept creating amazing lives together with their audiences.

The setlist was changed quite extensively shortly before the live. There’s a scene in the movie where they talk about their setlist and apparently that is quite different from what they actually ended up performing (I think that mostly refers to the order of the songs).

Originally they had planned to start their live with “oblivious” but in the end they thought “ring your bell” would be more fitting because it pretty much represents the theme of putting their flag in a new place. The whole “flag” theme first came up when Yuki Kajiura mentioned it a few years ago while they prepared for their first Budokan Live. Yuki Kajiura told them that they should be proud that they finally get to plant their flag in such a special venue. Seems like this talk also inspired the PV for “ring your bell” (and possibly even the lyrics for “Koibito no Mukashigatari no Yuugure no”??). Following their first Budokan Live, the flag theme became a pretty big deal for them. From then onwards the act of putting their flag in new places became a manifestion of their intentions. That’s how they came up for the theme of their “far on the water” tour. So yes, it seemed very appropriate to them to continue with this flag theme for their 10th Anniversary. And that’s the story of how “ring your bell” ended up being the opening song (because it’s their trademark “flag” song :P). [I was right all along about the whole flag theme]. They decided to pick “Mirai” as their second song because they thought it was perfect to go out and greet the audience with smiles on their faces. It was also a nice way to reflect upon their past.

~ Regarding Kalafina’s future ~

There’s one section in the SPICE interview where they talk about their future. In light of recent events there are many ways to interpret this part. I am not sure what to make of it but I thought I’d provide a translation so you can all decide for yourself what their answers could possibly mean. As always, please be aware that my Japanese is not perfect (this was a pretty quick translation and I might go back later to edit it).

―― Now that you have celebrated your 10th Anniversary, how will Kalafina spend the rest of 2018, how would the three of you like to spend 2018?

Wakana: The ten years we have exprienced together are precious to us, right now we are living a future we couldn’t have ever imagined when we first debuted. I never thought we would celebrate our 10th Anniversary together with everyone at Nippon Budokan. Originally we didn’t even expect to ever perform live with band members. To think that we have come this far and that we got the chance to introduce Kalafina’s music to so many people makes me incredibly happy. It feels like what the three of us have always dreamed about, our shared dream, has come true. We wanted to do lives, we wanted to do tours, these were aspirations born out of our burning passion, that was our wish so that’s why we were able to get this far and why we were willing to continue onwards through all the hardships.

―― I see. 

Wakana: So far the three of us have lived with the same dream in front of our eyes. But the three of us also have a lot of curiousity when it comes to our individual dreams. As Kalafina we have had so many dreams and together we have seen them all come true so now I would like to get a glimpse of different dreams, of all the dreams the other two have. Very reminiscent of the lyrics of “I have a dream”. I wonder what those dreams will be.

―― So even if you weren’t 100% on the same page all the time, you have always been active working in unison?

Wakana: Yes, we have always pretty much worked towards the same vision. That’s why I am interested in more personal perspectives.

Hikaru: That’s right. Even after ten years I still have a long way to go so I would like to use this year for self-improvement. What else...? Personally, I still want to learn and absorb so many things, my thirst is insatiable. I am able to say that doing this job has made my dream come true but it is only one dream that has come true, beyond that I think many more things are necessary so I can continue to make my other dreams come true.That’s why I want to improve myself so that one by one I will become able to do all the things I want to do. I’d also like to improve my personal live.

Keiko: You can definitely do that!

―― What about Keiko-san?

Keiko: I have changed so much during our 10-year activity as Kalafina so now I am asking myself whether I can change even further. I am my current self because of these past ten years but to make progress even beyond those ten years, I would like to encounter more genuine works, I would like to create music that I find real, that I am enchanted with. Our activities as Kalafina singing Yuki Kajiura’s music, it was a time spent delving into something genuine together with everyone. It’s amazing to lead a life where you can pursue something that feels worthy of being pursued.