#they changed the flight to EARLY compared to the original time. meaning I had 4 minutes to get to the gate. 5 minutes out from the airport. | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

saylors-universe · 4 years ago

Text

All Hands on Deck, Rowanʻs POV 4

Rowaelin Cruise Vacation AU

Masterlist here

Word count: 5378

[This is an interactive story! I will include Authorʻs Notes throughout the chapters to inform you when to start a particular song that you can find here in the All Hands on Deck playlist (Also can be found on the masterlist). For the best experience, listen with headphones, AND FOLLOW ALONG WITH THE STORY. Please try to use your imagination when listening and reading - live through the words. Have fun :) - Saylor]

Day 3 - ANIELLE PORT - “Welcome to Anielle! The Ellywe Voyager will depart tomorrow at noon, so make sure you are back onboard!”

“Thatʻs what I like to see Whitethorn,” Connal motivates from above, spotting Rowan on the bench press, his hands closely following the bar up and down.

Rowan forces a grunt, gritting his teeth as he pushes out one more rep, the 400 lbs tapping his sternum and returning upward. Exhausted from their early morning workout, Rowan returns the support bar to the rack and sits up, grabbing his nearby gym towel, wiping away the sweat on his face.

Within their group, Fenrys and Lorcan were the original gym rats that then converted Connal and him to workout with them. Physical exercise was Rowanʻs outlet for his anger after the passing of Lyria. He would work himself until he passed out, needing to release all his pent up fury with the world, the universe, and himself. He eventually found a more creative outlet through his music and writing, but in the time being, he got very fit, his muscles defined and toned. The Cadreʻs fan base would often get into toxic arguments of which man was the pretty-boy of the group, each working on their looks. Usually the debate was between either Fenrys or Rowan, both the main faces of the band who earned the most attention.

Connal switches spots with Rowan, beginning his turn with the bench press. Rowan spots him but Connal can tell his mind is elsewhere. Lorcan and Fenrys, the former doing reps with dumbbells and the latter on the pull up bar, both notice Rowanʻs daydreaming.

“So, what do you guys think of the girls?” Fenrys asks, mid chin-up. “Elideʻs a lot quieter than I pictured, she must be freaky in bed, huh Lor.”

“Watch it asshole,” Lorcan sneers, defending his fiance.

“The brunette one is really pretty, Lysandra I think is her name,” Connal inputs.

“Pretty and spoken for Iʻm afraid, and not by us unfortunately,” Fenrys shares how he learned that the hard way when Aedion nearly decked him for flirting with her.

Lorcan and Rowan, the only seemingly smart ones of the group, remain silent, not wishing to participate in their review. Fenrys and Connal both whisper when covering Manon, as if mentioning her would summon something evil, both sharing how they are completely intimidated and scared of her. Rightfully so, Rowan thought, she seems like the confident, sophisticated boss woman that she is, who couldnʻt give a fuck about either of them. Then they got to Aelin.

“The blonde one though. Wow. Sheʻs-” Fenrysʻ eyes widen as he talks about her, like a kid in a candy store.

“Aelin.” Lorcan cuts, “Her name is Aelin, you ass.”

Lorcan defending Aelin?

“Aelin, ah even her name is beautiful.”

“Hmm, what do you think Rowan? I mean you two are high school sweethearts after all,” Lorcan reveals, setting down his dumbbells.

There it was. He was waiting for Lorcan to bring up their past, wondering if he completely forgot about their history. He wouldnʻt have been the only one, Aelin obviously remembered who he was, but it didnʻt seem like she remembered what they were? From their conversations, he gathered that she remembered him from high school, possibly remembered that they dated. Does she remember that we were in love once? Does she remember any of our moments?

“What?” Fenrys and Connalʻs surprised looks and unison question distract Rowan from his thought.

“Rough break up,” Lorcan answers for him. If only he knew. The breakup that utterly and completely destroyed him. He hates to compare it, but it was more devastating than Lyriaʻs death. God thatʻs so fucked up. Yeah he was heartbroken from losing his girlfriend in the accident, but breaking up with Aelin... losing her... that shattered his heart, lit all the pieces on fire, and trampled them to smithereens.

In a sense, Lyria was a rebound. They had gotten together really early in his freshman year at Orynth University, right after the breakup. Aelin pushed him away, but he also let her, he left. He was just as much to blame. Lyria was there to distract him from his sorrow, to help him get through school. Along the way, they found love, but not the same kind of love he had with Aelin. Lyria deserved so much better, he scolds himself and taps out with Fenrys to spot Connal, giving an excuse that he had to go.

“Yeah me too boys, Elide an I have an appointment,” Lorcan states.

“A dick appointment Salvaterre?” Fenrys snickers.

“A massage appointment you fucking prick,”

“Oh yeah Iʻm sure, enjoy that massage Lo,” Fenrys banters with air quotes around -massage.

Fenrys gets whacked up the head, and Rowan and Lorcan leave the Moonbeams to finish their workout.

Expended from the physical excursion, Rowan opts to clean up in his room with a cold shower, and also use his music outlet to further release his emotional turmoil. With his platinum locks still dripping water, he sits on his bed against the headboard, guitar in hand, working out a tune that came to him in the shower.

He writes down some chords on a notepad laying on the nightstand. Lyrics. It needs lyrics. The Cadreʻs best songs have always come from his personal situations, when he found need to release his emotions and feelings through music. His best songs however, those are the oneʻs he wrote with Aelin.

He closes his eyes to relive the memory of the first song they wrote together.

Sophomore year, Aelin had just transferred into the school and he immediately fell in love with her the moment he saw her out in the campus parking lot. He rushed ahead to hold open the building door for her.

“Hello,” HOLY WOW. Those eyes, she has the most spectacular turquoise eyes with a ring of gold. Magnificent.

“Hi,” even her voice is perfect.

“Rowan,” he introduced himself, offering his hand just as she got to the entrance. “Welcome to Terrasen High...”

“Aelin,” she takes his handshake, breathing in his pine snow musk, the corner of her lips curling up into a smile.

Oh no, he thought to himself, sheʻs it. Sheʻs my one, He claims as she takes a part of his heart with that smile. That smile, I would give anything, do anything to see that smile for the rest of my life. He was in such deep, unending shit.

Weeks go by within their friendship and he racks up the nerve to make a move. “Finally,” she responds, and he internally cursed himself for taking so long. Before he knows it, she became his family, and he hers. The two lovebirds composed a song of their meeting, and of being deeply infatuated with each other. Sitting on his bed, he strums and they sing.

[A.N.] Play “Everything Has Changed (feat. Ed Sheeran)” by Taylor Swift now, follow along, and let your imagination do the work. {Keep in mind this is high school Rowan and Aelin so they should sound different, younger} Find playlist here.

Rowan: “You good to go?”

- He getʻs the thumbs up from his muse and plays. -

Aelin: ALL I KNEW THIS MORNING WHEN I WOKE

IS I KNOW SOMETHING NOW, KNOW SOMETHING NOW

I DIDNʻT BEFORE

AND ALL IʻVE SEEN SINCE EIGHTEEN HOURS AGO

IS GREEN EYES AND FRECKLES AND YOUR SMILE

IN THE BACK OF MY MIND MAKING ME FEEL LIKE

I JUST WANT TO KNOW YOU BETTER, KNOW YOU BETTER

KNOW YOU BETTER NOW

I JUST WANT TO KNOW YOU BETTER, KNOW YOU BETTER

KNOW YOU BETTER NOW

Aelin & Rowan: I JUST WANT TO KNOW YOU BETTER,

KNOW YOU BETTER, KNOW YOU BETTER NOW

I JUST WANT TO KNOW YOU, KNOW YOU, KNOW YOU

CAUSE ALL I KNOW IS WE SAID, “HELLO”

AND YOUR EYES LOOKING LIKE COMING HOME

ALL I KNOW IS A SIMPLE NAME

EVERYTHING HAS CHANGED

ALL I KNOW IS YOU HELD THE DOOR

YOUʻLL BE MINE AND IʻLL BE YOURS

ALL I KNOW SINCE YESTERDAY

IS EVERYTHING HAS CHANGED

Rowan: AND ALL MY WALLS STOOD TALL, PAINTED BLUE

AND IʻLL TAKE THEM DOWN, TAKE THEM DOWN

AND OPEN UP THE DOOR FOR YOU

Aelin: AND ALL I FEEL IN MY STOMACH IS BUTTERFLIES

THE BEAUTIFUL KIND, MAKING UP FOR LOST TIME

TAKING FLIGHT, MAKING ME FEEL RIGHT

Aelin & Rowan: I JUST WANT TO KNOW YOU BETTER,

KNOW YOU BETTER, KNOW YOU BETTER NOW

I JUST WANT TO KNOW YOU BETTER,

KNOW YOU BETTER, KNOW YOU BETTER NOW

I JUST WANT TO KNOW YOU BETTER,

KNOW YOU BETTER, KNOW YOU BETTER NOW

I JUST WANT TO KNOW YOU, KNOW YOU, KNOW YOU

CAUSE ALL I KNOW IS WE SAID, “HELLO”

AND YOUR EYES LOOKING LIKE COMING HOME

ALL I KNOW IS A SIMPLE NAME

EVERYTHING HAS CHANGED

ALL I KNOW IS YOU HELD THE DOOR

YOUʻLL BE MINE AND IʻLL BE YOURS

ALL I KNOW SINCE YESTERDAY

IS EVERYTHING HAS CHANGED

COME BACK AND TELL ME WHY

IʻM FEELING LIKE IʻVE MISSED YOU ALL THIS TIME

AND MEET ME THERE TONIGHT

AND LET ME KNOW THAT ITʻS NOT ALL IN MY MIND

Aelin: I JUST WANT TO KNOW YOU BETTER,

KNOW YOU BETTER, KNOW YOU BETTER NOW

I JUST WANT TO KNOW YOU, KNOW YOU, KNOW YOU

Aelin & Rowan: ALL I KNOW IS WE SAID, “HELLO”

YOUR EYES LOOKING LIKE COMING HOME

ALL I KNOW IS A SIMPLE NAME

EVERYTHING HAS CHANGED

ALL I KNOW IS YOU HELD THE DOOR

YOUʻLL BE MINE AND IʻLL BE YOURS

ALL I KNOW SINCE YESTERDAY

IS EVERYTHING HAS CHANGED

Aelin: ALL I KNOW IS WE SAID, “HELLO”

SO DUST OFF YOUR HIGHEST HOPES

ALL I KNOW IS POURING RAIN

Aelin & Rowan: AND EVERYTHING HAS CHANGED

Aelin: ALL I KNOW IS A NEWFOUND GRACE

ALL MY DAYS IʻLL KNOW YOUR FACE

Aelin & Rowan: ALL I KNOW SINCE YESTERDAY

IS EVERYTHING HAS CHANGED

Everything has changed. One of the many ballads theyʻve written together, showcasing their epic love story. Rowan snaps back to his present time, although he wishes he could reminisce a little longer. He collects his thoughts, and tries to put his feelings into words.

Does she remember any of our time together? He writes down - Do you remember when?

Does she ever think of our music? The songs we wrote? He jots down more lyrics.

Does she remember our love? I was the first to say “I Love You” but my whole world was made the first time she said it back. He notes some more.

Rome. Boom. He had a title and a chorus.

DO YOU REMEMBER WHEN

MIDNIGHT DRIVES WHEN YOUʻD SING

IʻD PLAY YOU SONGS YOU WERE IN?

I JUST WANT TO BE THERE AGAIN

DO YOU REMEMBER WHEN

WITH ROME BELOW US THAT DAY

YOU SAID, “I WISH WE COULD STAY”

I JUST WANT TO BE THERE AGAIN

He worked on the song for two hours, until he felt satisfied with it. Finally completed, he practices it and found it encompasses everything he wished he could say.

Feeling better, he freshens up in the bathroom and leaves his cabin, not sure exactly where he is going or what he will do, but finally feeling lighter, a stressful weight lifted off his shoulders. The soft chatter from the luminous ballroom catches his attention, sucking him in.

He gets stopped by fans who demand he takes pictures with them and sign his autograph on their clothes and skin. They request him to play something for them and he is tempted to comply. He succumbs and takes his throne at the grand piano, playing the first thing that came to mind [A.N.] “Pantomime” by Ben Hammersley if you want to re-experience that.

His music attracts a larger crowd and he basks in their attention. His gaze sets on the turquoise eyes with the gold ring that will forever be etched within his memory. Aelin. He does the only logical thing he could think of in the moment, and he plays her his song.

With a soft smile from being in her presence, and the sudden anxiety and nerves of performing this new song, he clears his throat and addresses,

“This one, I wrote recently, itʻs called Rome.” I hope you like it Ace, the words go unspoken.

[A.N.] “Rome” by Dermot Kennedy, if you want to be in the moment again.

Rowan: SO WHATʻS THE PAST FOR?

IʻLL NEED IT IF LOVE DONʻT LAST LONG

YOU CAN RUN AROUND INFINITE IN MY HEAD

She does. The thought of her has run through his mind constantly since he saw her that first night.

OH YOU CANʻT SEE, OH, IʻD STAY IF YOU ASKED ME

He often wonders what his, her, and their life would be like if heʻd stay. If sheʻd let him stay.

NOW YOU KNOW I CARE,

BUT ITʻS HARD TO TELL WHEN YOUʻRE SCARED

BUT LAST NIGHT

IT HURT ME TO HEAR YOU SAY IT FELT BROKEN

AND EVEN THOUGH I TRIED

ALL THESE MEMORIES RUN MY MIND IN SLOW MOTION

Seeing her hurt, physically pains him. When she had shared that her parents had passed, he saw the curtain drop, revealing a distraught woman, still mourning the loss of her parents, faithfully clinging to the joys in her life. For the first time in a long time, he wished, he hoped, that someday he could once again be someone that brought her joy.

DO YOU REMEMBER WHEN

MIDNIGHT DRIVES WHEN YOUʻD SING

IʻD PLAY YOU SONGS YOU WERE IN?

I JUST WANT TO BE THERE AGAIN

DO YOU REMEMBER WHEN

WITH ROME BELOW US THAT DAY

YOU SAID, “I WISH WE COULD STAY”

I JUST WANT TO BE THERE AGAIN

Please remember. Remember us. Remember me.

REMEMBER THAT FIRST LAUGH?

ALL IT CHANGED ONCE I HAD THAT

LIKE A HURRICANE, BUT I DONʻT CARE WHERE I LAND

Her beautiful laugh.

I DONʻT EVER WANNA LEAVE WHEN YOU CRY

I KNOW I GIVE YOU REASONS TO HIDE

I NEED YOU TO STAY BY MY SIDE

FIRST SHOOTINʻ STAR THAT YOU EVER SAW

WE WERE RIGHT ON OUR FEET THOUGH, RIGHT?

OPENING THE CAR DOOR FOR LIGHT

I REALLY THOUGHT IʻD LOSE YOU THAT TIME

Please, I canʻt lose you again.

- Their eyes lock onto one another and for a few brief moments it is only them. Just him and her. Like how it should have been.

DO YOU REMEMBER WHEN

MIDNIGHT DRIVES WHEN YOUʻD SING

IʻD PLAY YOU SONGS YOU WERE IN?

I JUST WANT TO BE THERE AGAIN

DO YOU REMEMBER WHEN

WITH ROME BELOW US THAT DAY

YOU SAID, “I WISH WE COULD STAY”

I JUST WANT TO BE THERE AGAIN

DO YOU REMEMBER WHEN, OH

DO YOU REMEMBER WHEN

DO YOU REMEMBER WHEN, OH

DO YOU REMEMBER WHEN

OOH, AH

OOH, OOH

Silver lines his eyes as he bares his soul out for her. The audience praises him in an applause, but his concern is with the her. Like an open book, he reads her confused expression, praying that the message translated correctly, pleading that he would receive some reciprocation, any small sign, proof of their bond. Before he can say anything else, she runs away, dragging her friend off with her.

It was her turn to leave. And like the heartbroken boy he was years ago, he got the message, loud and clear.

He tries not to overthink it, but the darkness in his mind persists the notion that they had become not friends, not enemies, just strangers with memories.

Night 3 - ANIELLE PORT - “Movie Night: ʻBeauty and the Beastʻ Tonight on the Lido deck at 8:30pm, Come join us!”

Somewhat distraught, Rowan seeks out the company of his brothers. He was unsuccessful in determining the location of Lorcan, but ends up finding the twins in the club, hogging the karaoke machine and hitting on the bartender.

He takes a seat at the bar next to Fenrys, smooth talking his way into some free shots from the poor woman, her name tag reading: Ansel. She laughs at something he said, giving him all her attention. His brother was center stage, belting his heart out to “Killer Queen”.

Rowan asks for a water and sits in solemn silence, lost in his thoughts.

He could sense something was wrong. Everything was going so right with his life, he should have expected it, prepared for the other shoe to drop. “Hey you wanna go outside to talk?” He initiated it, feeling her need to get something off her chest. His whole world revolved around this girl, whatever it was, they would work through it, they had to.

They sat on the porch bench swing, facing each other when she began to cry. Oh no, Oh gods no. What did I do? Please, I hate seeing her upset, what can I do, what needs to be done, I will do it.

“Are you going to break up with me?”

A sharp punching pain hit his gut, “What. No. Never.” He runs a hand through her hair, tucking a few strands behind her ear so he could properly see her beautiful face. “Fireheart, talk to me, whatʻs wrong?”

“I- I didnʻt- I didnʻt get in Ro,” she manages to say through sniffling.

School. She had been torn up from the news of being rejected from Orynth University. Yes, they had talked about attending school together and starting a life, but the moment he met her, all his plans flew out the window. The moment he heard her laugh, the moment he saw the fire in her eyes, his world shifted, it gravitated around her.

“I donʻt care,” he consoles her, rubbing small circles along her arm and back, holding her close, “Iʻll figure something else out, I could take a leap year, find a job in town, or I could apply to TCC or wherever you want to go, or- or we could even get that Volkswagon van youʻve had your eye on, and weʻll go roadtripping, I know youʻve always wanted to do that,”

He felt her tense beneath his touch.

“No,”

“Okay we could-”

“No Rowan. Youʻre going to OU.”

“Ace I donʻt -”

“You need to go. You canʻt pass up this opportunity, thereʻs so much to learn, so much to grow fr-,”

“I donʻt want to grow up if itʻs not with you”

She faces him, her sad eyes welling, cupping his face in her hands, and he fights the tears swelling at his eyes,

“Aelin please donʻt,” he cries, his voice cracking in the whisper, a single tear running down his cheek.

“I love you Rowan Whitethorn,” she stares deeply in his wet eyes, “with all of my being. And because I love you with all that I am, I canʻt have you stay here.”

He presses his forehead against hers, closing his eyes, tears streaming down, and breathes the scent of her in.

“To whatever end.”

They both sniffle, wiping away each others tears as they take turns bawling, “You are going to live an extraordinary life Rowan Whitethorn. You will learn all that you can, grow into an honorable man, a perfect husband,” Please donʻt do this, “If we are destined to be together, life will put us together again.”

He could tell that this pained her just as much as it did him. If it hurts us both, why should we have to endure it, spare us the pain, donʻt do this. The things that are really worth holding on to, you would not have to let go. But maybe the true test is letting go. Maybe, if given the opportunity to grow and expand their capacities for love, they would be molded into their destined matches. The idea of handing their future together to the hands of fate, troubled him. When have the fates, the Gods, destiny, ever been kind of them.

But this is what she wanted. And he was not about to disobey her, even if it kills him, if it rips his heart out of his chest, staying with her while she pushed him away.

He couldnʻt recall when they had finished crying that night, he couldnʻt even remember sleeping that night, or many nights after. No, ever since their breakup, he remained empty. Emotionally dormant and unavailable.

Somehow, he convinced her to drop him off at the airport, However painful, he had to try one last time to change her mind.

“Goodbye Rowan,” she reaches up on her tippy toes to place a soft kiss on his cheek. His heart races, as she comes down, Rowan zones into only her, the rest of the world disappears.

“This is not the end,” he says calmly, “This is not goodbye. We will find each other again, I promise,” he vows, bending down, sweeping her into a slight dip, claiming her lips in a cry, searching for the cure to their plagued situations. Her core warms, and he commits every detail of her to memory. To whatever end.

Eight years later, a college dropout, adult loser, recovering alcoholic; he had failed her so miserably. Not only had he not finished school, but he found love with someone else. Lyria had been a cruch, she temporarily numbed his pains. Eventually, they had grown to love each other, however it wasnʻt the love he had with Aelin, it didnʻt even compare.

His relationship with Lyria was complicated, they often fought more than they talked, their quarrels usually resulting in Rowan at a bar late at night. One unfortunate night, their fight had him escaping to the nearest pub, where she later had to drag him home from once they both had cooled down. But the accident. He had killed her, not intentionally, but situationally. And he was still working through that trauma, that guilt, he was still healing.

When you lose someone, or experience tragic grief, the instinctual response is to shut down, push people away, and board up the walls. Although it took a while for his brothers to get through his walls, he learned to share his pain, not only from Lyriaʻs passing, but also the untouched aftermath of his broken heart.

It was then that he realized, people who get broken, they are never fully fixed. They may be physically, but there are always scars. And the brave, they are the ones who are comfortable with showing their scars. He wants to be brave, to show her how much she means to him still, show her that he still loves her, to whatever end.

The booming voices and cheers snap him back to life. After bowing, Connal spots Rowanʻs silver head in the crowd.

“Oh Whitethorn, get your ass up here,” he yelps in the mic, pinning the rooms attention onto him.

“No thanks bud,”

The crowd yells and booʻs, “Oh come on,”

Forced against his will to get on the stage, he ends up making the most of the situation, choosing a song that hopefully letʻs him blow off some steam. He queues it and takes the mic.

[A.N.] Play “Power Over Me” by Dermot Kennedy now, follow along, and imagine it. Find playlist here.

Rowan: MMM, MMM

I WANNA BE KING IN YOUR STORY

I WANNA KNOW WHO YOU ARE

I WANT YOUR HEART TO BE FOR ME

OH I

WANT YOU TO SING TO ME SOFTLY

ʻCAUSE THEN IʻM OUTRUNNING THE DARK

THATʻS ALL THAT LOVE EVER TAUGHT ME

OH I

CALL AND IʻLL RUSH OUT. [MMM]

ALL OUT OF BREATH NOW

YOU GOT THAT POWER OVER ME, MY, MY

EVERYTHING I HOLD DEAR RESIDES IN THOSE EYES

YOU GOT THAT POWER OVER ME, MY, MY

THE ONLY ONE I KNOW, THE ONLY ONE ON MY MIND

YOU GOT THAT POWER OVER ME

REMEMBER THE LAKE IN THE MOONLIGHT?

REMEMBER YOU SHIVERED AND SHONE

IʻLL NEVER FORGET WHAT YOU LOOKED LIKE

ON THAT NIGHT

BUT I KNOW THAT TIMEʻS GONNA TAKE ME

I KNOW THE DAYʻS GONNA COME

I JUST WANT THE DEVIL TO HATE ME

OH I

CALL AND IʻLL RUSH OUT. [MMM]

ALL OUT OF BREATH NOW

YOU GOT THAT POWER OVER ME, MY, MY

EVERYTHING I HOLD DEAR RESIDES IN THOSE EYES

YOU GOT THAT POWER OVER ME, MY, MY

THE ONLY ONE I KNOW, THE ONLY ONE ON MY MIND

YOU GOT THAT POWER OVER ME

IT WAS ALL IN DOUBT

THEY WERE ALL AROUND

SO WE HIDE AWAY AND NEVER TELL

YOU DECIDE THAT DARKNESS KNOWS YOU WELL

THAT LESSON OF LOVE, ALL THAT IT WAS

I NEED YOU TO SEE

YOU GOT THAT POWER OVER ME, MY, MY

EVERYTHING I HOLD DEAR RESIDES IN THOSE EYES

YOU GOT THAT POWER OVER ME, MY, MY

THE ONLY ONE I KNOW, THE ONLY ONE ON MY MIND

YOU GOT THAT POWER OVER ME. [WOO]

AND I KNOW THAT I LET HER DOWN, NO

LET HER DOWN, NO

YOU GOT THAT POWER OVER ME, MY, MY

EVERYTHING I HOLD DEAR RESIDES IN THOSE EYES

GOT THAT POWER OVER ME, MY, MY

THE ONLY ONE I KNOW, THE ONLY ONE ON MY MIND

YOU GOT THAT POWER OVER ME

MMM, MMM

The packed club whistles and cheers and Rowan leaves the stage, feeling a lot better. Minutes pass of the boys talking, listening to other passengers sing, when Lorcan finds them, his face bright and glowing.

“Salvaterre! How was the massage”

He just grunts, paying no mind to their insults. “You guys better get cleaned up if you want to come to dinner with us, our reservations in an hour. Thereʻs a movie showing after that if youʻre up for it too.”

Fenrys, of course, is the most excited to spend an evening with lovely women, but Rowan on the other-hand, he found himself extremely nervous. He spends way too long, trying on different outfits in his cabin. If Aelin will be there, he needs to look good. He compromises with a fitting suit and styles his hair with gel. Once hyping himself up, convincing himself he was as dashing as they say, he left to find Fenrys and Connal. They make their way to the Antica, arriving a little late.

It took everything in him to not fall to his knees at the sight of Aelin. She wore a brilliant blue dress, complimenting her glorious features. He had a difficult time comprehending how this beautiful creature was real, and sitting right next to him nontheless.

A sharp tinge of guilt ran through his soul. Was he betraying Lyria? Although they fought often, they loved each other. He had been prepared to propose after all. After the accident, he closed off access to his heart, not letting many in. Now that he was here, with her, he could feel things again. Should he allow himself to feel things again? Where was his punishment from Lyria? His heart dropped in his chest.

One glance at Aelin and his body calmed. Aelin made him feel things that no one else had, not even Lyria. She silenced his rambling thoughts, calmed his anxieties. She brought a light into his life, everything was an adventure with her, he never knew what to expect next. She was full of wildfire. His Fireheart.

He continues to steal sly glances at her whenever sheʻs not looking. Sheʻs absolutely radiant, just as gorgeous as the day I first saw her. But there was something different about her. She was more refined. She still had that contagious, care-free spirit about her, but there was something there, something holding her back. With deeper inspection, he could see the scars there. The scars of a young woman who endured many pains, a daughter mourning the loss of her parents, a friend learning to express herself, a brave woman, not afraid of showing her scars. His heart tugged.

While lost in his thoughts, the waiter came around to take orders. He had been so lost in his world, in her, that he had no chance to scan the menu. He turned to the waiter and asked what the most popular dish was. The waiter names the dish and Rowan orders it, having no clue what it was. Fenrys and Connal both give him a strange look of disbelief. What?

He was even more surprise when Aelin ordered the same thing as him. Fairly certain that she also had no clue what “escargot” was, he assumed it was just her spontaneous spirit pushing her to try new dishes. He missed that spirit, missed everything about her. There was a strong pull to her, and he was just happy to be caught in it once again, this time he will not leave, and he will fight like hell to stay, no matter how hard she pushes away.

The dishes arrive and he bites back the urge to barf.

Snails.

Stupid fucking idiot.

He didnʻt even think to ask what the dish was, he just unknowingly signed not only himself but also Aelin up for eating snails.

Shit.

It took everything in him to not vomit out his insides. He wouldnʻt be able to stomach the embarrassment, and he would never hear the end of it from Fenrys and Connal. So he found it within himself to eat his dish in silence, desperately wishing he could retract his vow to remain sober. Alcohol would definitely numb his receptors to this meal.

The rest of the night was very pleasant. He learned a lot about Aelinʻs friends. Aedion, he had heard of previously when they dated, he appreciated how protective he was of Aelin, she deserves to be looked after. She deserves the world.

Lysandra, Aedionʻs fiance? they acted like honeymooners but he spotted no ring on the womanʻs finger. Hmm. Lysandra was spunky, like Aelin, but more reserved and reasonably logical.

Manon. She was terrifying. Like Lorcanʻs persona on crack. If someone did Aelin or any of their friend group wrong, itʻs not Aedion they would be worried of, itʻs Manon.

Elide, he got to know a little better. She was kind, gentle, and exactly what Lorcan needs. They balanced each other out very well, and he could tell they were madly in love with each other.

The group left dinner to catch the showing of Beauty and the Beast, when Rowan noticed that Aelin strayed from the group. Slightly curious, he follows her and finds her face stuffed with chocolate cake. She was so cute.

“Still a fan of chocolate, I see,” You idiot. Sheʻs probably trying to clean her palate from the snails you unintentionally made her eat.

Aelin turns, mouth full of cake, “you caught me”

She says it so innocently that Rowan canʻt help but laugh.

“Did you want some?” she offers him a bite. He holds up his hand.

“No, thank you though, I just wanted to check on you, make sure youʻre okay.”

She laughs, “Hm let me see, besides eating snails, Iʻve found the library, read a really fascinating book, taken a nap, and tried the best cake Iʻve ever tasted, Iʻd say Iʻm doing pretty great.”

He feels extremely guilty for the snail part.

They share an intimate moment of pure laughter and joy.

“Well we better get back to everybody, Iʻm sure the movieʻs about to start.”

He doesnʻt catch much of the movie. He spends majority of it, admiring Aelin. Watching her sing the songs at the top of her lungs. Watching the nearby childrenʻs annoyed glances. Watching her smile, her genuine, bright smile. His heart leaps. There was a time where heʻd do anything to get to see that smile. A time where sheʻs let him do anything.

His vow plays through his head, This is not the end. This is not goodbye. We will find each other again, then her words, “If we are destined to be together, life will put us together again.”

Now here they were, together again. And he would spend the rest of his days, reminding her of their love, reminding her that they are destined. That he will love her, to whatever end.

--------

All Hands on Deck taglist: bolded tags arenʻt tagging

@smalltddygothgf

@booksbqueen

@underworldboxers

@live-the-fangirl-life

@islabyrnex

@kathi2599

@booknerdproblems

@rowaelinismyotp

#all hands on deck #rowaelin #throne of glass #tog #aelin galythinius #rowan whitethorn #throne of glass fanfic #cruise

17 notes · View notes

cutie1365 · 5 years ago

Text

A Kid from Queens Part 17

Pairing: Peter Parker x Stark!Reader

Info: CA: Civil War Era. Tony Stark enlists his daughter to find the web slinging spider in Queens.

Word count: 2.5k

Warnings: Language

A/N: Please let me know what you think! Enjoy!

Masterlist linked in my bio. Taglist in the reblog.

- - - - - 🕷 - - - - -

Another restless night of tossing a turning, not knowing if you really slept or if time has passed, you found yourself reaching for your phone on the nightstand. Your eyes flitted to the time- 3:50 AM. You were about to groan and plop back onto the bed when your eyes journey down to another notification from an hour ago.

“Override 17A” it read, and right below it another one.

“Training Wheels Protocol Disabled”

“What the fuck?” You muttered out loud. 17A was Peter’s suit. Certainly your father wouldn’t have done this, which only left one explanation.

“He didn’t-” You stopped, almost in disbelief. Did he just hack your suit?

“F.R.I.D.A.Y. where the hell is he?” you asked angrily, sitting up in bed.

“It appears the tracker has been removed from the suit, boss.” The AI informed you.

You threw the covers off of yourself and jumped out of bed.

“He better be dead, because if not I’m gonna kill him.” You huffed, moving to your desk and pulling open your laptop.

“Can you get me the last location he pinged?” You began pulling up the reports you had on his suit, to see if you could get any more information on what he’d been doing. It showed you a map of him bouncing around Queens and occasionally into the city. There was one last dot 200 miles away.

“A hotel in D.C.” F.R.I. said.

“Why wasn’t I informed the suit left the city?” You asked.

“Mr. Hogan was informed.” She said.

“When?” You shut the computer, turning back towards the middle of the room waiting for an answer.

“4:00 PM yesterday.” She informed you.

“What the hell is he doing in D.C.?” You asked yourself, “Get me Happy on the line.”

You had a bad feeling about this, did Peter disable the tracker himself? If he did, it meant he was going to do something he didn’t want any of you knowing about, likely meaning it’s dangerous.

“Are you sure? It is four in the morning.” She asked for confirmation.

“Call him.” You instructed, standing to pace the room.

“Y/N, what’s going on?” Happy answered, his voice frantic. He knew you’d never call this early unless it was important.

“Where’s Peter?” You asked, the anger evident in your voice.

“The kid? He’s got a school trip in D.C? Why?” Happy asked, curiously.

“The suit’s tracker was disabled an hour ago, and some systems were changed without my authorization.” You tried to explain calmly.

“That’s not good.” Happy said, and you could almost feel his stress levels spike through the phone.

“Has he been giving you reports? Anything that could clue us into what he’s doing?” You asked, still pacing the room.

“He’s just been doing what he always does, helping old ladies, and bike thefts and muggings.” Happy shrugged.

“Shit. Ok, I’ll take care of it Hap.” You said, not wanting to stress Happy out even more.

You would have dug more to see if he knew anything, but in your pacings you figured a way into Peter’s suit. He may have disabled the tracker, but if the Training Wheels Protocols was deactivated that would mean his AI was now online. You should be able to enter through a backdoor in her system remotely.

After about half an hour you were able to get in, and although you wouldn’t be able to transmit anything you would be able to overhear any conversation between Peter and the AI. Hopefully that would tip you off to their location or what he’s planning.

“What is this place? Suit lady, where am I?” You heard Peter speaking, his voice transmitting through your computer.

“You’re in the most secure facility on the Eastern Seaboard. The Damage Control Deep Storage Vault.” His AI answered, casually.

“Son of a bitch.” You shook your head, jumping up and slamming your computer shut once more. Anger wasn’t the right word to describe what you’re feeling right now. Peter was meddling in something larger than himself, and he likely didn’t even know it. You didn’t want him to get killed.

Your dress pants were strewn over a chair in your room, they were closest so you grabbed them and a sweater and began to search for your keys. You knew the drive would take about 4 hours, it may be morning by then and you may miss him, but it was a chance you were willing to take. You couldn’t take the jet since it was upstate and you couldn’t get a pilot at this hour, with the Accords everyone was under such scrutiny that they couldn’t take you. If this had been years ago Steve or Clint would have gladly piloted last minute.

You did have one more option, but it was too risky. You hadn’t tested it enough, and certainly not for long distance flight stabilization. Plus your father would kill you if he found out you had made a suit prototype for yourself.

Once in the garage, you looked at the motorcycle next to your car. That could work... maybe shave an hour or two off of your trip by weaving in between cars and traffic. Though you’d almost certainly get pulled over and be slowed down even longer.

“Next time.” You glanced at the bike once more, as you climbed into the car and revved it up, praying you’d get there in time.

Once you were on the highway you put the car into autopilot, using your phone to connect to your remote desktop and back into his AI, to see if you could get any more clues as to what he was doing.

“Hey it’s like the glowy thing.” Peter spoke, excitement in his voice.

“That glowy thing is an explosive Chitauri energy core.” His AI, who you learned he named Karen, spoke very matter of factly.

“What!” You said out loud. “Peter Parker you’re so dead.” You groaned, flipping autopilot off, throwing your phone onto the seat next to you, and flooring it down the empty highway.

You were able to make the trip in three and a half hours, but you were too late. Peter was no longer at the facility. You had a worker let you into the deep storage vault, your name was practically on the door so authorization wasn’t an issue. You were thankful for grabbing nicer clothing though. You planned on looking for clues to where Peter ran off to, but you were distracted by a shipping container that had clearly been tampered with. This was something Peter couldn’t have done, nearly half of the items were missing. This had to have been the weapons dealings with the major.

You called in your FBI contacts to come investigate, and you were momentarily distracted and forgot about Peter, the whole reason you came here. You showed the agents the containers and the items missing, they must have been using the parts to make and sell weapons. They asked you questions about the protocols of this facility and shipments. When the venture between Stark Industries and the government was struck for this department, you’d read all the documents word for word, as your father was too bored to. Wasn’t really his area, paperwork. You answered their questions and discussed possible entries. A complete catalog of the other containers would have to be done and compared to the original records to see how much had been stolen, security would also have to be increased.

“Hang on.” Another agent to your right took a phone call that seemed important, “Where?” He said, concern evident in his voice. This caused everyone to look in his direction.

“Sir, we have an incident at the Washington Monument.” He turned to his boss saying.

“What kind of incident?” He asked, hands on his hips.

“Someone’s climbing it.” He said, in disbelief, the room went silent.

“Shit.” You muttered under your breath. That had to be Peter.

“Are we good here?” You turned to the agent who was your main contact and asked.

“Yeah, we’ll finish up here, see if we can get any prints.” He nodded, placing his hands on his hips as well, turning away from the rest of the group and dropping his voice slightly before continuing, “We’re getting intel on a possible rendezvous for a sale, we’ve got a guy posing as a buyer. We’ll let you know, we might need to use you as a distraction, but you’re free to go.”

You nodded, and tried to not look suspicious as you slowly rushed off to your car.

You drove as fast as you could, weaving in and out of traffic. As you got closer to the monument you saw D.C. Metro police helicopters circling. You hit the breaks as you saw fire trucks and ambulances surrounding the entrance. You put the car in park and stepped out, attempting to get a better view.

“F.R.I.D.A.Y. what happened here?” You asked nervously.

“I’m sensing radiation from a Chitauri energy core detonation.” She spoke plainly.

“What? How the hell?” You walked closer to the scene, they were beginning to put up police tape.

“It appeared to be from inside the elevator.” She said.

“Is everyone ok?” You asked slowly.

“No casualties reported. Students inside the elevator were saved before it collapsed.” You now stood at the police tape, with a full view of the monument.

“Peter saved them?” You asked quietly, you could see the broken window at the very top, that must have been how he got in. He saved his friends, you really couldn’t be mad at him for that.

“Where are they now?” You slipped the sunglasses from the top of your head over your eyes, getting a view inside the monument at the crumbling elevator that would have meant certain death for all occupants if it weren’t for Peter.

“Their bus has departed and is heading back to Midtown, parents have been informed and sent to meet them.” The AI informed you.

“Is Peter on the bus?” You asked, worried.

“Traffic cameras confirm Peter Parker is on board.” She confirmed, and you hung your head in relief. You took one more look around the scene through your tech glasses as two firefighters moved to stand next to you.

“Shit’s crazy, five more seconds and those kids wouldn’t have made it.” They spoke to each other, and you quickly turned and rushed back to your car to make the trip back upstate. You knew what you had to do.

- - - - - 🕷 - - - - -

It was dark when you finally arrived. You saw the bus with kids greeting their parents. They were milling about as a teacher was unloading luggage from the bus. You saw Peter leaning against the brick of the school building as May talked to other parents. Coming from around the corner behind him, you grabbed onto his arm and pulled him backwards, immediately wrapping your arms around him and pulling him into a hug.

He remained frozen for a second, before recognizing your signature scent and hugging you back. You pulled away quickly, keeping your hands on the side of his arms as you scolded him.

“What the hell were you thinking?” You scolded.

“I-” He tried.

“You hacked my suit! You turned off the tracker.” You seethed.

“I-”

“I don’t know how you got into Damage Control, you tampered with federal property and a federal investigation.” You waved your hand in anger.

“I-” he tried once more.

“God Peter, I was so scared,” You hugged him again, “Don’t do that to me again.”

“I’m sorry.” He finally said, as you pulled away and he could see the tears beginning to form in your eyes.

“I can’t do this.” you admitted.

“Do what?” Peter asked, furrowing his brow.

“It’s been killing me, trying to stay away from you. I just- I want to be with you, I don’t care what happens.” You shook your head, letting a stray tear fall down your cheek.

“What about your father?” He asked, as his thumb gently came up to wipe the tear away.

“He’ll understand. The plan worked, we just have to be more careful.” You grabbed his hand to reassure him.

“You just can’t be seen with Spider-Man.” He nodded.

“But I can be seen with Peter Parker.” You smiled.

“What about Harley?” He asked, causing you to let go of his hand in surprise of the question.

“Harley? What about him?” You asked, confused.

“I thought you two were-” Peter began.

“Oh no, no. He’s a friend. He knows dad, it’s a long story. We’re hiring him.” You chuckled slightly.

“Oh.” Peter nodded, feeling dumb for assuming.

“Jealousy isn't a good look on you.” You teased.

“I just.” He shrugged, smiling and giving up. He laughed at his own assumption.

“Happy Birthday by the way, I’m sorry I missed it.” You said, it had killed you not being able to send him a message on the day almost two weeks ago now.

“That’s ok.” He smiled, taking your hand once more.

“I may know how I can make it up to you.” You smirked.

“How’s that?” He asked, knowing what it might be. You leaned in to kiss him, as you felt him smile into the kiss. You’d both missed this. Something just felt right whenever you were together.

You smiled as you pulled away to look at him in the moonlight, you stared into his eyes like it was the first time.

“I have a gala next week, come with me?” You asked, with a hopeful smile.

“Are you sure that’s a good idea?” Peter raised a brow with the tilt of his head.

“Lucky for you, it has a masquerade theme.” You smiled.

“Lucky me.” He smirked, moving his fingers through your hair to the back of your head to pull you into a kiss once more. The both of you were so lost in the moment that you didn’t see someone coming around the corner.

“Peter? Oh-” Aunt May stopped as her eyes landed on the two of you. You quickly pulled apart, you could feel your cheeks begin to blush in embarrassment.

“Oh- uh, hi Ms. Parker.” You stuttered, your finger brushing your lip slightly before holding your hands behind your back.

“Hi Y/N.” She smirked, looking to Peter. She had known that he liked you, but she never expected to find the two of you like this.

“I should- probably- uh.” You pointed towards your car, looking back between Peter and May, nodding and taking a step towards the car.

“Y/N.” May called.

“Yes.” You turned back around with a smile.

“Would you like to come over for dinner tomorrow?” She asked with a smile.

“Tomorrow?” You glanced at Peter, who’s eyes went wide in embarrassment, you smiled, “I’ll be there.” you nodded, you did owe him a raincheck.

As you turned and walked back towards the car you heard them whispering to each other, causing you to smile.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” May giggled to Peter.

“Shh... May.” Peter whined, causing her to giggle once more.

- - - - - 🕷 - - - - -

Taglist in the reblog, link in my masterlist in my bio to join it

89 notes · View notes

mateasha · 4 years ago

Text

rendevous 18.6y

summary: chikage shows up at the front door of MANKAI after disappearing from the face of the Earth for 3 years. itaru is not happy. fandom: a3 pairing: chikage x itaru word count: 6882 tags: original characters for the sake of plot, friends to strangers to lovers, angst, fluff, flashbacks, mentions of death, bad attempts at action, bad attempts at comedy

chapter 6: confusion

There’s not much to think about this late at night, when he looks up at the ceiling and everything is done for today. His brain feels like TV static— or better yet, the hum of a microwave warming up his frozen pizza. He wishes he could toast it so it’s better quality (as “quality” as a frozen pizza can get) but he wants that pizza now, and fast. At least, that’s what he would do if he was home, but he’s not...

He’s again sleeping in the bed on this slightly cold spring night, which is odd, because he’s in LA, where it’s supposed to be warm. It’s not like he necessarily minds the cold, but he’s just a bit confused. But his brain is telling him to just go to sleep, but his body is still jittering as if he’s being electrocuted.

Which comes up as a problem (obviously, regardless of prior obligation) when it’s 6 fucking am in the morning, and he has a flight to catch at 9.

He gives up, and goes over the list of things that happened yesterday.

He went to the meeting.

They got the deal, which he was surprised about.

He hugged Chikage.

Wait. He hugged Chikage?

He jolts up after remembering what seemed to be a crucial detail on an important day, which he doesn’t understand. Maybe his brain was trying really hard to forget it. (thanks, brain) But unfortunately for him, he remembered that detail. Fuck.

Well, looking back on it he doesn’t think that Chikage particularly disliked it. Chikage just… may or may not have hugged him back for the most awkward 4 seconds of his life. Scratch that, he definitely did, when tracing back the events of this afternoon, which is unexplainably vague to him for some reason. Which he could definitely attribute to his brain starting to re-realize all the events that happened, rolling over in his bed and groaning, before looking to Chikage’s side of the room, which is in a state of a little disarray, which he is a bit out of character for him, who brought basically nothing but what he needed, where at least Itaru brought a couple extra things. Mostly skincare, but Azami would hurt him, and his skin would basically revolt against him.

Itaru gets up, rubbing his eyes a bit, taking one last look at the night city, looking like grids of lights that remind him of pixels on a screen, the streets actually looking a little empty compared to their first day. The window seems a bit cloudy, and he can see his reflection in the glass window, which he observes for a bit, looking at the slight pimple or bump on his jaw, then rubbing over it as if he was fidgeting with it. The moon seems to be coming right through the window, but this time, it’s a new moon that barely has any light shining on it that would reflect, but it feels as if the moonlight is extra piercing. The clouds have seemed to clear the way of the moon from the angle that he’s looking at, like someone shot an arrow through it.

He walks away from the window, getting his glasses from the nightstand, and goes over Chikage’s side of the room. The bed seems freshly made, like something hasn’t settled down on it, with the slight wrinkles in it, which gives it a sense of chaos, like the rest of his side. Should he? He doesn’t, and takes a couple strides over from the foot of Chikage’s bed to the bathroom, checking to see if the light is on. It isn’t.

Where has Chikage gone? Well, fuck if he knows. He doesn’t know shit about where he is. Probably. There’s nothing for him to do in LA, right? Frankly, he doesn’t car— Care? He thinks to himself before finishing the sentence in his mind, which he doesn’t. He is aware of how he cares. Now he’s really glaring at the laptop and the bag that’s still open on the side of his bed. Should he? Maybe. He ends up doing it.

Well, he knows he won’t find anything. Chikage isn’t stupid. Maybe it was foreseeable that he would try snooping around which— wait. The laptop comes back from sleep mode, which is on a browser tab.

Ah. What did he expect?

—

Chikage knows it isn’t good to be out here so late.

But he still is for some reason, which confuses him to no end, when his thoughts have been occupied for so long for no reason.

He shouldn’t be confused.

He knows he shouldn’t be confused, but still is, which he guesses is basically inevitable, and comes with his “humanity” which he wishes he could do away with, but for some reason, no matter how hard he tries to do it he can’t. Maybe in a sick, twisted way, he still wishes to keep his humanity, which he just does not understand about himself. He can’t have it both ways.

But he definitely knows why he’s in such “emotional turmoil”, if that’s what you can call it.

Itaru hugged him.

And if he’s being honest, it’s the warmest hug he’s felt since— Yeah. He can still feel the phantom pressure caused by Itaru’s arms which he’s basically just berating himself for in his mind that’s only a bit cloudy from the grogginess that you get from staying up till 3 am, which he didn’t even know it was till he checked his watch.

He feels lost in time, in a vague area as he looks out on the pool that ripples in the wind against the fluorescent lights that seem to light up the bottom and top of the pool, with circular lights lining it. No one is here— just how he likes it— and the staff have seemed to call take a rest for the night. Which is understandable, of course. But it’s good. To have no one here. The wind feels like it’s howling at him, even when the leaves on the trees aren’t rustling in the early spring breeze that still has the bite of cold from the winter, with only just a slight movement as the air isn’t completely stale here. It still feels like it is though, with some of the air pollution, but what does he expect— it’s a large city.

And now he needs to think, when he can’t distract himself from the scenery anymore. Think about specifically the events of this afternoon.

Itaru hugged him.

There’s not much to say other than that. Well, he hugged him, and then broke away super quickly before saying sorry, quickly packing up before walking out quickly after beckoning to him in a meek voice.

He’s not going to say he didn’t like it though.

He definitely did— he’s not going to lie. But he should. Some people are such good liars that they begin to believe their own lie, which genuinely is what his end goal is— even if he doesn’t state it himself.

Life is so difficult. Too difficult for what it’s worth to him anyways. But for some reason he’s still here. He could’ve just found some place to stay. A coworker. A female coworker, because they always seem to welcome him in. But he didn’t. Why? Why is he so compelled to come back to MANKAI, to come back to Itaru. He shakes off the thought, already heading back inside, setting his mind on the walk back to the hotel room.

—

Itaru isn’t hurt at all, really. It doesn’t matter. It didn’t matter to him in the first place but it still stands— the fact that Chikage is looking for another job isn’t too detached from reality. Chikage doesn’t really have the best relationship with him anymore. Well— they never had the best relationship ever since he came back but that’s beside the point.

Itaru is not hurt.

He refuses to be hurt. I mean, there was no reason to get his hopes up obviously. It’s not like Chikage was going to get up one day and decide magically that he liked him. Right? Well, it seemed like that sometimes when they went to work together this week. Even if it seemed forced.

But it does hurt. It strikes him right in the heart, like he was stabbed with a needle in the heart; nothing too hard to create a health complication, but enough to where it would sting a bit. Itaru definitely can’t sleep. He closes Chikage’s laptop quickly when he hears footsteps that sound as if they would be Chikage’s, and goes back into bed with his phone tucked away. He hears the click of the lock of the door, and the creaking of the door when it opens. It’s Chikage. Probably. It really can’t be anyone else, but he can’t help but open his eyes just a little bit to peek at him.

He’s disheveled. But not particularly hurt, just his hair looks a bit like a bird’s nest, and he’s not wearing his glasses. His eyebags seemed to have gotten bigger, but that might just be a trick of the light, as he comes back into the same dark room. He sighs loudly, ruffling his right hand through his hair slowly, stretching before picking up the laptop and moving it over to the desk.

Itaru is not hurt. Definitely not.

It’s not like he was expecting much from him— it’s Chikage Utsuki for fuck’s sake.

But maybe there was just a little hope.

Just maybe.

Which is just him affirming himself— or trying so hard to convince himself it doesn’t hurt, when it does. He was hoping. Maybe he would stay, or maybe he would have a change of heart, but he obviously got his hopes up. Just like he always has, from highschool to now, when he’s 27 long years old. So why the hell does he still get his hopes up even when he already knows how everything is going to end? Asking the questions he knows the answer to already, but he refuses to answer them in his head, so what was even the point of asking them?

He gets his hopes up because he cares. That’s what he knows.

He cares so much for certain people (like Chikage) that it begins to hurt.

But caring isn’t really a thing he can afford, can he?

—

The drive back home is completely silent, but Chikage isn’t nearly enough of an asshole to just drive off without Itaru, leaving him stranded until he finds a cab. Does he even have the money to pay for a cab to drive him back home?

Never mind that, does he have the money to pay for an Uber to take him home?

Itaru and him step out of the car quickly, to be greeted by Izumi.

“Welcome home, Itaru! Chika—” Chikage quickly walks by Itaru and Izumi, opening the door and taking a brisk walk inside.

“Hey, Director.”

“Have you been.. studying your role?”

“...No.”

“Itaru.” Izumi can already tell something went wrong. “...Let’s head inside. Never mind the role. That doesn’t matter right now.”

“Thanks.” Itaru shoves his hands in his pant pockets, and follows Izumi closely behind. It’s night time on a weekday, so most people are asleep, excluding the people who are basically adults and decide their own bedtime because Sakyo can’t really yell at them, can he? Well, he could, but it’s not like any of them would listen to him. Scratch that, they would. Sakyo is loud and a bit fearsome.

“Take a seat. I have some tea brewing. I was going to head to sleep after I welcomed you two home, but we can talk.” Izumi gets up. “Of course, if you want to talk. Tea?”

“No, no, I can talk. I can go for some tea too.” Itaru laughs. “It wasn’t too bad, if that’s what you’re asking.”

Izumi is in the kitchen when she responds, the stream of tea pouring from the teapot adding a nice bit of white noise to the environment in a relatively silent area. Just what he needed. “It obviously was pretty bad though. Chikage didn’t even say hello. Like, even when he just came here he was at least polite! Not like he needs to be polite with me, but just at least a greeting would be nice. Just… recount the events that happened.”

“Well… First day was fine. Well, relatively fine. I texted you about it anyways.”

“Yeah, I know.” She comes back quickly, holding two mugs, handing one to Itaru. Izumi takes a big whiff of the tea before taking her first sip.

“Second day was the first meeting, which wasn’t too bad, I just fucked up. But for some reason, he consoled me? Which was weird, of course, because he hadn’t treated me like that in a long while, but he consoled because I just couldn’t answer one of the easy questions. So I asked him, are we friends or not because he kept treating me like one.” Izumi nods. “He said no, this is just for work. And of course, reasonably I got mad!”

“Well, you’re definitely right in how you reacted. It is an asshole move of course, but is that it?”

“No. Last meeting which happened on the last day, I hugged him because we made the deal.”

“You hugged him?!”

“Yes, I did, which I do regret, but it’s not like he particularly disliked it, like he didn’t push me away.”

“I see. So why is he so pissed?”

“I don’t know.”

“Well, do you need him out still?”

“It’ll be awkward… but I’ll be fine. I’m used to it by this point.”

—

Walking into the office, there’s not really much of a difference between a week before today, which does make sense, considering that it’s only been a week, but now there’s a framed photo of his daughter on his desk. It’s not very ornately decorated on the outside, but he can see his boss stare into it very softly, before looking up at them, and telling them to sit down. “I saw your report, you two!” Their boss greets them with a wide grin on his face, which just seems a bit brighter than it usually would be.

“Ah, yes.” Chikage starts to respond to him first, a stern look on his face, as he fixes his glasses, pulling them back very confidently in one, deft motion. “Did you need anything explained? Everything is up to your standards, of course, but me and my coworker here would be glad to explain anything that you’re confused by.” Coworker is tinged with a hint of venom, just enough to cause him discomfort, but not so obvious that it notifies everyone else that Chikage does not like him.

“No, no, the report was extremely good! I’m proud of you two. Maybe it could contribute to later pay, haha... “ He tries to lighten the serious mood set by Chikage, who’s obviously a bit irritated at the new mood that’s been set. Chikage and Itaru forcibly laugh, even when they’re far too tired to laugh in the first place, because they’re just so jetlagged from the flight that it hurts. “Anyways, let’s drink! It’s on me! After work! Some bonding would be nice with my two best workers!”

“Oh, yes, definitely!” He gives a smile to him that could fool even him if he wasn’t paying attention.

“Great! Itaru, how about you?”

It’s silent for a bit again, causing him to panic because he isn’t responding to him. “No, no, I’ll be fine. I have… things to attend to.” Itaru does not have anything to attend to. Which was obvious as a blatant lie, as Chikage gives him a look that just screams “that was a terrible lie.”

“Like?” He seems to have bought it, but now he actually has to think of a good excuse, so he compiles a quick mental list to try to pad out the time.

Groceries.

Why does he keep thinking about groceries? He mentally bonks himself on the head to punish himself. “Um… Just things.” Now he’s fucked.

“C’mon! I insist!” His boss gives him a big grin which is unsensible when he’s at work. He wouldn’t doubt him if he said that he loved his job though.

Itaru darts his eyes around the room to try to come up with something, but it’s pretty much obvious that he doesn’t have an excuse, so what even is the point of it?

Itaru is basically trapped. “...Okay, okay, you’ve convinced me. I’ll come.”

“Great!” Itaru has never seen someone so excitable by a small drink outing. “I’ll meet you at the entrance once your shift is over!”

Itaru is not convinced.

—

Ah. He’s here. He’s really here. Sitting here. At the entrance. Next to Chikage. But this time, he doesn’t even try to start a conversation. He just doesn’t understand why his heart is beating so fast next to him. The entrance of the building is a bit too sterile for his liking, with muted greens and oranges that color block the wall, with the same vibes as the office building back in LA, with the generic office plants that don’t take as much maintenance to keep alive, and the weird abstract paintings that look almost like a smattering of paint, which he doesn’t think is so bad, as some people do, but it feels a bit pretentious with the plaques that are plastered onto the bottom of the bigger ones that have the title, the author, and the date it was made.

Not to shit on anyone’s work, of course.

The lounge chairs he’s sitting in at the front entrance are at the weird intersection of uncomfortable and comfortable, where you shift your position every 5 minutes to accommodate your spine, but no matter what you do, you still just can’t find that right position. (without getting into some weird ass one that makes you look like a complete fool) The glass table has slight finger markings, maybe from a child of a coworker, but the janitor comes quickly to wipe it down, with a quick excuse me, making it seem more spotless, with a citrus scent coming to fill his nostrils.

But other than that janitor that came in and is already out like a ninja, there is no one else here, excluding Chikage. The receptionist has already gone home, and the light of the sign that would be over her has already turned off. The office building seems to have gone to sleep.

And onto Chikage. Chikage. What a character, Itaru would call him, neither negative or positive, because of course he still harbors some feelings towards him. Some feelings. Nondescript, but already aware of what he’s getting at. Chikage is dressed in his same salaryman suit, but a different color, still with a bit more wear and tear on it, with some stains on it that aren’t so obvious that you could see them from conversation distance, but based on how close they seem to be sitting (probably like a foot) he can see them on his sleeve. Nothing seems to have frayed though, and it’s still relatively spotless.

Itaru hasn’t studied Chikage like this. Or anyone like this, if he wanted to become more specific than Chikage. His skin seems to be a bit rough with tiny scars on his face that are, of course, too small to be noticed from conversation distance, but if he was close like a lover, it would be obvious. It’s almost like it’s beckoning to be traced over, but he knows he can’t do that. His skin is still spotless though, with basically no acne scars, and his pores so small that if he were to take his skin and use it as a strainer, the liquid coming out would be so smooth that it would rival the clarity of some fancy water.

Time is weird. Time truly is weird, because for a moment, he forgets that he’s been gone for three years, so it makes sense why he’s beginning to pick up on all these details and how they’ve changed over the years, because he means— you eventually do pick up on these.

He’s not fidgeting at all, his hands still deft as ever, but still with the same “problems” as Chikage’s face does: A bit rough with tiny scars. He’s holding a magazine, which Itaru already knows he’s not reading, but just looking at the photos, trying to distract himself from the slightly awkward atmosphere that Itaru and Chikage have created around them, which… may be a little out of character for him, but he doesn’t want to state that.

Itaru takes out his phone because he doesn’t want Chikage to notice that Itaru has been staring at him for a solid 5 minutes at this point, clicking on the KniRoun app that he’s been grinding, his phone muted this time because unfortunately, he does not have his earbuds with him to be able to listen. Gawain greets him with a “Hmph.” and something aloof which would not be out of character for him, and he opens an area and starts playing, which is a period of time which is shortly ended by the laughter of what he assumes to be his boss, and people from the other departments.

“Ah! Itaru! Chikage! My star workers! Are you two ready to go?”

“Ah, yes, of course.” Itaru already has fatigue beginning to take over his voice slowly, which is barely masked by the slight chatter that follows his boss.

Chikage doesn’t have to respond, as he closes the magazine he was reading about home life which— what would he know? And gets up and follows closely behind, Itaru trailing behind. “I already know a good bar that’s in walking distance. We can go. Did you guys take your cars here?”

“I have my own. Itaru took the subway here.”

“Got it.”

—

He definitely was right in saying that it was a pretty quick walk, but god, this bar is a bit too fancy for his taste, with classy decor which makes it feel like a speakeasy, but it’s nice. The alcohol is nice. But he may have drunk too much.

Itaru and Chikage are laughing together, and it almost seems like old times when Chikage mentions something funny and Itaru adds something onto it. They’re talking about the time Misumi got lost with a crow and was thought to be the god of it by the priest for some reason, which everyone doesn’t seem to believe— which, understandable, because Misumi is basically a cryptid in the flesh— and the showing the video of Misumi dancing in the middle of the shrine is basically all they need to prove their point, as well as show an article about the Sankaku Shrine.

“He made that?”

“Technically!” Chikage and Itaru chuckle together. “Everyone in the dorms was looking for him, but my fri…” Chikage stops talking, but Itaru quickly finishes the sentence.

“Our friend Hisoka helped us out with everything.”

The scenery seems a bit blurry, clouds seemingly gathering over his eyes as he tries to take in the bar’s atmosphere once more. It feels comfy somehow, but mostly because it isn’t too loud, and it’s softly lit with an amber glow that gives everything a warmer hue. It’s a little more fancy than he’s used to, but it’s okay, because it’s at that fine intersection of fancy and far too casual for his taste. It’s not quiet, but it’s not too loud, given how small the bar is. He’s not mad at it though. There’s not too many people here, not even full for a work night that closes in the week, and allows people to escape into the weekend, which he’s grateful for— meaning that he doesn’t have to try nearly as hard to be a sociable person.

He’s not technically drunk but he will admit, he’s tipsy, and his eyes are glossed over making them extra shiny, but not to the point where his eyes are red and look like he’s a complete drunk. He doesn’t even like the taste of alcohol, and would much rather prefer a fruity drink, but at the risk of seeming weird to his coworkers, he got some weird craft beer that he can’t even pronounce the name of, and it doesn’t even taste that good. Itaru swears people drink this shit to get drunk.

He’s not particularly against getting drunk though.

It’s a fine escape for a short amount of time, but he would much rather be home playing games.

Itaru is sort of aware of what’s coming out of his mouth, but a conversation about work while drunk would not be the best decision to make, so he’s relatively silent, and pretty good at keeping his mouth shut.

“Hey! Itaru…! Another round?” His boss looks at him and his empty glass with just the ice in it.

“No, no, I’ve had too much alread—”

“Another round! C’mon! It’s on me~! You can’t just pass up some nice beer!”

“...Fine, fine, okay.” He was not aware that he said that, but he said it anyways, which he already knows might fuck him over. This is the last one, and then he’s done.

But onto Chikage, who’s still talking, and already done with his drink, and doesn’t seem nearly as affected as Itaru who’s teetering on the borderline of drunk and tipsy, and so far, it is almost obvious that he is going to be drunk if he drinks this last one. Which he will have to. God, how will he get home, he thinks, interrupted by the next round of drinks served by the waiter. Chikage isn’t even flushed for some reason, which doesn’t exactly aggravate him, but rather confuses him to no end, as this is expected. Someone’s alcohol tolerance doesn’t change just like that, right? His movements are a little less sharp, his tone a little less pointed, and his shoulders relaxing just a bit more than they would usually when he’s sitting down. He doesn’t seem nearly as on guard as he usually is, which is a welcome change, even when he knows him and Chikage won’t be talking.

“Thank you!” His boss passes it around, the chattering still going on, which he comprehends none of, nor does he want to occupy his thoughts with it. It is odd for him to be silent during these times though, so he lets out a little quip in response every now and then, Chikage, for some reason, staring at him but without Itaru’s notice, probably acknowledging that Itaru’s eyes keep drifting back at him. Itaru throws back the last gulp of it back into his throat before standing up, and saying, “Thank you very much for the drinks. However, I must be… uh… going!” He doesn’t even know how he’s gonna get home. He definitely cannot drive in this groggy state— which is more than obvious, even to him, the person who he’s criticizing. Itaru isn’t too drunk, but he’s definitely not sober enough to drive. He’s just… somewhere on that spectrum.

He’s not even sure if he can find his way to the subway though, which might just be a little bit too much of a struggle for him for him to do, so he’s probably just gonna get himself an Uber. He still has to be wary of those, but at least he knows what his ride is now. His boss frowns at the statement, almost giving him puppy eyes. “Ah… what a shame. Maybe next time, hm? This isn’t going to be the last time right?” He wishes it were going to be his last time, but he knows that he’s going to have to do this stuff again. It’s just for the social footing and getting that raise he really wants.

“Definitely.” Itaru slowly gets out of the booth, losing his balance slowly, but obviously, which Chikage notices and gets up to catch him when he finally falls down. Chikage catches him in his arms quickly, able to support his weight, standing him up straight.

“Are you okay? Chikage sometimes actually sounds like he cares, which Itaru doesn’t even know anymore, and the line is even more blurred by the amount of alcohol that’s in his system currently.

“Haha… yeah. I’m okay. Thanks, Utsuki-san.” Itaru’s speech is a little bit more slurred than usual. He slouches back down again. “I’ll call myself a ride.”

“I’m taking you home.” His tone is stern, as if he was going to wag his finger at him.

“What?”

“I’m taking you home.” God, he’s serious.

“No, you aren’t. The hell?” Itaru looks at him in disbelief in his eyes.

Chikage just ends up making the decision for him. “I’ll be taking him home, okay?”

“Ah, Chikage. You’re going as well?” He’s not particularly phased by Chikage leaving, which he wasn't nearly as whiny as he was with Itaru, mostly because he’s probably realized it’s 7 pm, and he needs to get back home.

Chikage quickly makes up an excuse which shows that he isn’t drunk, and also gives him a free pass to get out. “Yes. I’m not feeling particularly well with all this alcohol I’ve consumed, so I hope you understand.” Not like he needs this excuse, he probably could’ve just left and after saying he’s leaving.

“It’s completely understandable!” He’s borderline yelling out the words which he doesn’t need to when this bar is just way too small for that. “I’ll see you guys at work next week, okay?”

“Yes. See you guys.”

He drags Itaru out by the wrist quickly.

“You drank too much.”

“Not really. I just don’t want to be there for too long.”

“Yeah. I know. Let’s go. My car isn’t too far.”

There’s not anything remarkable about the car ride, except for the deathly silence that seems to have taken over the entire car after that “scene” that they created in the bar, which was relatively convincing. Well, it’s not like they were specifically trying to make it convincing, as it was basically just a scene between him and Chikage, which weirdly affected how he perceived Chikage. For some reason, Chikage looks a little mad, or just feels like he’s mad, even with the hardest poker face he’s seen come from someone. Maybe that’s just his face. It doesn’t look like he’s particularly focused on the road, even with the fair share of complications that come from driving.

Itaru’s vision is a little bit clearer, but his brain is a little hazy with the fogginess that comes with alcohol, now just being a tipsy fog rather than an almost-drunk fog that seems to coat his brain in a condensation of water. He’s just a little bit more aware of everything. The highway seems to be getting longer and longer for some reason, even when he is driving oddly fast, even for Chikage. He’s not angry at that, because he does want to get home. He’s tired. But the sun seems to be almost setting, and it feels just a little bit late for it to be setting. The scenery slowly gains more greenery, which is beginning to grow back its leaves for the upcoming summer as they get later and later into the season of spring.

But aside from that, Itaru’s just a little mad.

Not even a little, but maybe just a moderate mad.

He’s pretty mad for multiple reasons, rightfully so. He lists them down for later to tell Izumi.

He does not want to be with Chikage right now.

Chikage forced him into this car.

Chikage said that it was just business, but this is definitely not business.

Itaru breaks the silence. “Why?”

“What?”

“Why are you taking me home?”

“None of your business.”

“Well, it obviously is my business. I’m the one being taken home here.”

Chikage goes silent, no response, which is another reminder of how the trip went. Itaru decides to speak up again. “Are you going to respond?” Chikage seems like he’s thinking, but a little slower because now he’s focusing on driving, as he lifts his foot a little bit off of the gas pedal as they make a right turn to exit out of the highway. The silence in the car is almost suffocating, too thick that it becomes almost tangible for him. He weaves quickly through the roads, and quickly reaches the dorms.

Chikage stops and pulls into the driveway with his rental car. “We’re here. Let’s head inside.” Itaru gets out of the car, just a little bit more heated than usual. The living room is open as Chikage fiddles around with the lock to get in, opening it slowly, and closing it slowly, and they both head quickly to their dorms.

The dorms are quiet again with only a few lights on, but no loud noises, even for a weekend. Nothing is really going on, even for a Friday, when he’d expect it to be just a little bit more loud. They both enter the room, which was practically untouched, except for when he sees his fridge with a note from Banri saying, “I wanted the soda in the fridge. Sorry for taking it, I’ll be sure to pay you back later.” He looks at the little signature in the bottom from Banri, scoffing at it, and then throwing it quickly on the floor.

Itaru is more than just a little bit mad, obviously, when he throws it on the floor with half anger and half carelessness for the cleanliness of the room, but he starts talking, resuming their conversation from where they left off.

“Is everything just business to you? Do I mean nothing? Chikage.” No response from Chikage, who just continues to unpack his little to no luggage quickly. He takes out his laptop, still ignoring Itaru, not even looking at him. He doesn’t even break a frown, a twitch of the face. Just completely neutral. Itaru places his luggage quickly near the desk underneath his loft bed, already procrastinating on unpacking.

Itaru continues on. “Chikage, I missed you. I know I sound fucking insane, but I seriously missed you, Chikage. I missed you so fucking much and I can’t just let you go again, not without hearing you say that you hate me. Enough with that bullshit, ‘it’s just business’ excuse.” Chikage opens his laptop already, and is already typing something up quickly, which only agitates Itaru more and more. He takes a step towards Chikage’s desk, underneath the loft bed. “You didn’t need to be nice to me on the trip. Who the fuck was there to see you be nice? Who was there to see you be caring when you just completely threw me away after you were nice to me. Say it. Say that you hate me.”

Chikage finally responds, almost meekly, but his voice still seems to reverberate around the room with power. “Listen. I don’t… hate you.”

“Then what?” He walks over to Chikage.

Chikage gets up. “I just can’t deal with you. This.”

A switch goes off in Itaru that turns what he means to be a straight question into a one sided yelling match. “Deal with me? What the hell? What the fuck?” He places his fingers on the bridge of his nose in stress. He can already feel the heat of crying reach his eyes slowly, the tears already starting to creep into his vision from the bottom lid.

“I didn’t mean it like that, I—” Chikage is swiftly interrupted by Itaru’s sudden assertiveness.

“You didn’t? You didn’t? Just fucking say it, Chikage! Say that you hate me!” He keeps taking steps forward, the first teardrop falling down his face.

No response.

“Say that you hate me, and then I’ll let you go.” He takes another step forward, more tears streaming down his face.

No response.

“Say that you hate me, and I’ll go away. I’ll stop.” He takes more steps forward, imposing more and more on him while the tears reach his chin and practically drip down, hitting the floor almost theatrically because he didn’t wipe them away.

No response.

“I’ll stop caring so fucking much about how you think about me and how you’re feeling. I’ll stop loving you!”

No response.

The room reaches complete silence, as if you could hear a pin hit the floor. The wind outside is rustling the leaves of the trees oddly loud, and the dorms are quiet too, so he’s sure that the others can hear him through the walls. God, he doesn’t even want to think about the conversation they’re going to have because of this argument.

Itaru and Chikage stand in complete silence, Chikage watching the streams coming out of Itaru’s eyes fall down his face, and Itaru staring back with almost desperate eyes. Chikage seems like he’s in shock as he walks over to the couch quickly putting on his sweater that was draped over it, and walking to the door.

“Wait, Chikage, where the hell are you going?”

No response.

Itaru runs to the open door quickly, seeing Chikage almost run to the driveway, Izumi heading to their dorm, looking back at Chikage run, and looking forward at Itaru.

“Itaru, what happened? Wait. Don’t tell me. Just… tell me what you need right now.”

“We need to reach him. I know where he might be, just… drive me.”

—

When Itaru and Izumi reach the cemetery, the sun’s already down, but there are still slight bits of light popping out of the horizon, tinting the sky a little orange at the bottom, when it’s mostly just night sky already. He can still see though, because the lights that line the walkways of the cemetery are on, but he already knows where he’s going without light.

“Izumi, drop me off.”

“What?”

“You can drop me off here.”

“Okay. Want me to come?”

“No. I’ll be fine.” He wipes away the last of his tears before opening the door and heading out.

The cemetery feels a little odd with the lack of light coming through from the sky, but the little to no moonlight doesn’t supplement the oddity of being here. He already knows where Chikage is. And he’s already found him.

“How’d you know I’d be here?” He doesn’t look back, but just continues to look down at Hisoka’s grave, reading his name over and over again as if he’s trying to memorize it, as if he’s going to forget it the second that he stops looking at it.

Itaru speaks up shakily, trying hard to push the words out. “Intuition.”

“Sorry.”

Itaru continues to walk towards him. Chikage is still looking down at the grave, looking at the bag of marshmallows that he placed down there last time he was here. It almost hurts to stay here for Chikage, with how much emotion it harbors. “Sorry for what? What is there to be sorry for?”

Chikage doesn’t respond to that, but quickly changes the topic. “This is unlike me, Itaru. Just… leave. I’ll be gone soon anyways. I have another assignment anyways.” He sounds melancholy, as if he’s saying farewell again, or like he’s doing to die.

Itaru already feels like he’s going to cry again just standing next to Chikage, looking down at the grave. “I’m not letting you go without a goodbye, Chikage. Just some sort of answer.” Itaru sounds almost desperate for him. “Do you hate me?”

No response, but this time, the silence feels different. It doesn’t feel like the silence that used to distance them, but as if this silence is pulling them together.

“Do you like me?”

Chikage opens his mouth, and closes it again, not knowing what to say. It feels like they’re stuck, unable to speak, until Chikage finally seems to work up the courage to speak. “Listen, Itaru… I just can’t be with you. I can’t be with them. Itaru, I like you. I like you, and I like the others, even if this emotion is irrational. I know that even if we started dating, it wouldn’t work out.” Chikage says it like he’s warning Itaru. “I know it won’t work out. I can’t lose you again. I can’t lose you for real. As long as I know you’re still alive, I’ll be fine. Just being around me is dangerous, and I just can’t lose you. I wouldn’t be able to walk the Earth knowing that I hurt another one of my loved ones. It happened to Hisoka. What if it happens to you? What if it happens to the others?”

“You know I don’t give a shit.”

“What?”

“You know I don’t care if I get hurt, and I don’t care if I die just by sticking around you again. I can’t do this again. I can’t lose you again. I don’t care if I die. I’m not letting you go without a fight. Just stay.”

He takes a breath.

“Just… stay.”

“Listen… Itaru. I think I like you. Not in the friendly way.”

“Then that’s all I need to hear.”

chapter 1 / chapter 2 / chapter 3 / chapter 4 / chapter 5 / chapter 6

#a3 #a3!#a3!chikage #a3!itaru #a3! chikaita #ckit #chikage utsuki #itaru chigasaki #a3 fanfiction #a3! fanfic

5 notes · View notes

a-dinosaur-a-day · 5 years ago

Text

Pelagornis

By Ripley Cook

Etymology: Sea Bird

First Described By: Lartet, 1857

Classification: Dinosauromorpha, Dinosauriformes, Dracohors, Dinosauria, Saurischia, Eusaurischia, Theropoda, Neotheropoda, Averostra, Tetanurae, Orionides, Avetheropoda, Coelurosauria, Tyrannoraptora, Maniraptoromorpha, Maniraptoriformes, Maniraptora, Pennaraptora, Paraves, Eumaniraptora, Averaptora, Avialae, Euavialae, Avebrevicauda, Pygostaylia, Ornithothoraces, Euornithes, Ornithuromorpha, Ornithurae, Neornithes, Neognathae, Pelagornithidae

Referred Species: P. chilensis, P. longirostris, P. mauretanicus, P. miocaenus, P. orri, P. sandersi, P. stirtoni, P. tenuirostris, P. wetmorei

Status: Extinct

Time and Place: Between 30 and 2.5 million years ago, from the Rupelian of the Oligocene through the beginning of the Pleistocene (in the Gelasian age)

Pelagornis, being an extremely common seabird, is known from nearly everywhere around the world, usually associated with the coast.

Physical Description: Despite the incredibly generic name, Pelagornis was quite an interesting bird. Like other pseudotooth birds, both its upper and lower beak bore toothlike spikes, in an alternating small/big/small/big pattern. Its beak was robust and fairly long compared to the back of the skull. These pseudoteeth appear to have grown in relatively late in Pelagornis’s growth, implying the keratin covering the beak may not have been fully hardened until close to adulthood. Interestingly enough, fossil evidence indicates that Pelagornis probably held its head upright at a vertical angle.

By José Carlos Cortés

Pelagornis was fucking huge, m’kay. P. sandersi has an estimated wingspan between 6.1 and 7.4 meters! This makes Pelagornis the bird with the largest wingspan (but not the heaviest flying bird - that record belongs to Argentavis). Its wings were even more proportionally long and narrow than those of the largest flying birds alive today, the albatrosses. In comparison, its body was fairly small. There were, of course, some species of Pelagornis that were smaller than this, reaching only 4 meters long in terms of wingspan. Still, this large wingspan size is really only characteristic of these birds in flight - compressed, they would have looked much smaller, especially given that they were very light weight. They had stout legs and shorter tails, which indicates that they weren’t very good walkers, and spent most of their time in the air or sitting on the land.

By Jack Wood

Diet: Probably fish. The pseudoteeth are likely an adaptation to grab and hold onto large fish. Similar toothlike serrations are seen, albeit much less exaggerated, in modern mergansers, which also eat fish. In addition, the vertical position of the head would have allowed Pelagornis to skim-feed, grabbing fish and other aquatic organisms from the top layer of the ocean and scooping them into their mouths. Thus, the fake-teeth would have allowed Pelagornis to grab onto fish better than non-toothed skim feeding birds. It may have also used these sharp fake teeth in order to grab onto the slipperiest fish and cephalopods - rather than harder shelly animals.

By Scott Reid

Behavior: As with modern seabirds, Pelagornis likely spent most of its time out at sea. Gliding on oceanic thermals would have helped to support its huge body in the air without wasting energy just to stay aloft - which was important, since it wasn’t very good at flapping its wings and would have had trouble staying aloft long enough to get food if it had to flap too frequently. Think an albatross, but a giant, evil albatross. Landing and taking off would have been more awkward, though. It probably needed to take advantage of headwinds, drops in elevation and/or air gusts to get into the air at all. Albatrosses also kinda have this problem, but nowhere near to the same extent. The late appearance of the pseudoteeth implies that Pelagornis may have fed its young back on land like many modern seabirds before they could feed themselves out at sea. As such, they would have sought out good nesting sites, which may correspond to where fossils of Pelagornis are found - indicating that their spread around the world was greater than that we know of. Since it was a sea bird, it probably would have been very social, living in large colonies - and it would have cared for its young in similar social groups. In fact, it seems more likely than not that it would have laid its nests on cliffs and in rocky areas and plateaus, where being able to take off would have been easier than flatter, sandier beaches. Whether or not these animals were as noisy as modern seabirds is really another question altogether.

By Jack Wood

Interestingly enough, Pelagornis had a salt gland in the eye that would have allowed it to excrete excess salt, which was an extremely helpful trait when Pelagornis ate almost entirely seafood. That seafood diet didn’t meant it wasn’t a danger, however - today, seabirds will venture away from the coasts in order to scavenge food on the beach, and they are certainly defensive of their nests, young, and territory. Also fascinatingly, it had a very very very long skull - with all of those pseudoteeth packed in - which had similar shapes and organization as to the extinct really toothed birds of the Mesozoic. This implies that there was a certain amount of evolutionary regression in Pelagornis, allowing it to better support its teeth and chomping ability than it would otherwise. There is also an interesting furrow in the skull, which allowed it to be better support the head and possibly to better grab prey in the ocean.

By Scott Reid

Ecosystem: Pelagornis lived around coastlines worldwide. Because of this, it is difficult to pinpoint with certainty the types of animals it lived with. In fact, it was so long-lived and widespread it is more likely than not that Pelgaornis interacted with any ocean-going creature or animal found along the coast. It doesn’t seem to have a preference in the fossil record between rocky coasts or beaches, though it did seem to stay in at least somewhat warmer ecosystems and where cliffs would have been present for easier take-offs (and it is reasonable to suppose that cliff areas would have been its preferred place for nesting). Some notable animals it would have interacted with include extinct penguins, cetaceans, the famed giant shark Megalodon and… humans. Yup, Pelagornis is known from locations where early members of genus Homo ventured to. So, if you can imagine being afraid of a giant bird with fake teeth a little too well, that would be the instincts of your ancestors talking.

By Scott Reid

Other: Pelagornis is a fun time, classification wise, for multiple reasons: one, a whole bunch of different types of Pseudotoothed birds are actually, apparently, species of Pelagornis; and two, we don’t really know what Pseudotoothed birds really are. So, let’s break this down into those two parts. What’s going on with the species? Well, in the 2010s, a lot of research has been made that shows a bunch of the Neogene Pseudotoothed birds that we’ve counted as different genera are actually… just… part of Pelagornis. Why Wikipedia has not chosen to update their information as to this effect is beyond me, but the fact remains is that a lot of Pseudotoothed birds are just different shades of Pelagornis, primarily due to the fact that they really… aren’t different. In fact, a lot of the differences were just based on time and place, and the fact that Pseudotoothed birds weren’t really well known at all. The loss of Osteodontornis is a bit of a bummer, but there aren’t any major differences between this genus and Pelagornis, so it’s gone. We’ve also lost Pseudodontornis, you know, the name that actually means “fake toothed bird”, unlike the crappy name for Pelagornis, which just means Sea Bird. Like, come on people. Why are we here. Just to suffer. We’ve also lost Palaeochenoides, Neodontornis, and Tympanonesiotes. Hence the extreme amount of art in this article - the last time I covered Pseudotoothed birds, these were separate. So we have an abundance of terrifying tooth art.

By José Carlos Cortés

Finally - what the heck are Pseudotoothed birds? We don’t know. We really don’t know where they go. Are they related to the sea birds we have today (the Aequorlitornithes)? Are they related to ducks? Are they something else entirely? We have no idea, because, frankly, they seem to just appear in the fossil record without any sort of origin whatsoever. Like magic. Suddenly, toothed birds were back like the asteroid never hit. Honestly if I were to hazard a guess, based on the fossil characteristics, they’re probably none of the above - but an early branching group of Neognathous (aka, all birds that aren’t ratites and their cousins) birds that evolved from a non-easily fossilized ancestor. Whether that ancestor had weak bones or just lived in places where fossils don’t happen is a different question entirely, but either way, so far we have nothing. They just appear, in the Paleocene, out of nowhere. And, eventually, Pelagornis also disappeared.

By Jack Wood

Why did Pelagornis, the latest surviving species disappear? The most likely answer is climate change. The onset of the ice age would have caused extreme changes to the water patterns, currents, and air flow. Since Pelagornis didn’t flap its wings much, and relied almost entirely on soaring and thermals, it probably would have been greatly affected by changes in these weather patterns. So, changes in the ocean and the air by the ice age would have decreased its ability to reach food, and then the dramatic changes in its home climate would have been a further death knell. Interestingly enough, they only began to become uncommon right before they became extinct - indicating that Pelagornis really was finished off by this change in climate. Which is sad, because that’s right around when humans were becoming more of a thing, and it would have been nice to see one of these things in life. Except it wouldn’t have been. Because they’re terrifying. But I laugh in the face of danger. I think. I dunno I just think they’re neat.

By Scott Reid

Species Differences: The different species of Pelagornis differ primarily due to location and time, though there are some differences in shape and size - those fossils that were once assigned to Tympanonesiotes, for example, were on average smaller than other members of this genus. The largest known species was decidedly Pelagornis sandersi, though the best known species is Pelagornis chilensis. For now, however, Pelagornis is kind of a mess, since so much research is needed on this species complex to make sure things are where they belong and one genus is enough, so species differences are difficult to parse out until more research has been published on the subject. Just know that there were a lot of Pelagornis - and they came in all kinds of different shapes and sizes all over the place.

~ By Meig Dickson and Henry Thomas

Sources Under the Cut

Becker, J.J. (1987): Neogene avian localities of North America. Smithsonian Research Monographs 1. Prentice Hall & IBD.

Bourdon, Estelle (2005): Osteological evidence for sister group relationship between pseudo-toothed birds (Aves: Odontopterygiformes) and waterfowls (Anseriformes). Naturwissenschaften 92(12): 586–591.

Brodkorb, Pierce (1963): Catalogue of fossil birds. Part 1 (Archaeopterygiformes through Ardeiformes). Bulletin of the Florida State Museum, Biological Sciences 7(4): 179–293.

Cenizo, M., C. Acosta Hospitaleche, and M. Reguero. 2016. Diversity of pseudo-toothed birds (Pelagornithidae) from the Eocene of Antarctica. Journal of Paleontology 89 (5): 870 - 881.

Hastings, A. K., and A. C. Dooley. 2017. Fossil-collecting from the middle Miocene Carmel Church Quarry marine ecosystem in Caroline County, Virginia. The Geological Society of America Field Guide 47:77-88

Hopson, James A. (1964): Pseudodontornis and other large marine birds from the Miocene of South Carolina. Postilla 83: 1–19.

Ksepka, D.T. 2014. Flight performance of the largest volant bird. PNAS 111: 10624-10629.

Louchart, A., Sire, J.-Y., Mourer-Chauvire, C., Geraads, d., viriot, L., de Buffrenil, V. 2013. Structure and Growth Pattern of Pseudoteeth in Pelagornis mauretanicus (Aves, Odontopterygiformes, Pelagornithidae). PLoS One 8(11): e80372.

Mayr, G. 2009. Paleogene Fossil Birds. Springer-Verlag Berlin Heidelberg.

Mayr, G., D. Rubilar-Rogers. 2010. Osteology of a new giant bony-toothed bird from the Miocene of Chile, with a revision of the taxonomy of Neogene Pelagornithidae. Journal of Vertebrate Paleontology 30 (5): 1313-1330.

Mayr, G., J. L. Goedert, S. A. McLeod. 2013. Partial Skeleton of a Bony-Toothed Bird from the Late Oligocene/Early Miocene of Oregon (USA) and the Systematics of Neogene Pelagornithidae. Journal of Paleontology 87 (5): 922 - 929.

Mayr, G. 2017. Avian Evolution: The Fossil Record of Birds and its Paleobiological Significance. Topics in Paleobiology, Wiley Blackwell. West Sussex.

McKee, Joseph W.A. (1985). "A pseudodontorn (Pelecaniformes: Pelagornithidae) from the middle Pliocene of Hawera, Taranaki, New Zealand". New Zealand Journal of Zoology. 12 (2): 181–184.

Mlíkovský, Jirí (2002): Cenozoic Birds of the World, Part 1: Europe. Ninox Press, Prague.

Olson, Storrs L. (1985): The Fossil Record of Birds. In: Farner, D.S.; King, J.R. & Parkes, Kenneth C. (eds.): Avian Biology 8: 79-252.

Ono, Keiichi (1989). "A Bony-Toothed Bird from the Middle Miocene, Chichibu Basin, Japan". Bulletin of the National Science Museum Series C: Geology & Paleontology. 15 (1): 33–38.

Rincón R., Ascanio D. & Stucchi, Marcelo (2003). "Primer registro de la familia Pelagornithidae (Aves: Pelecaniformes) para Venezuela [First record of Pelagornithidae family from Venezuela]" (PDF). Boletín de la Sociedad Venezolana de Espeleología (in Spanish and English). 37: 27–30.

Scarlett, R.J. (1972): Bone of a presumed odontopterygian bird from the Miocene of New Zealand. New Zealand Journal of Geology and Geophysics 15(2): 269-274.

Zouhri, S., P. Gingerich, S. Adnet, E. Bourdon, S. Jouve, B. Khalloufi, A. Amane, N. Elboudali, J.-C. Rage, F. Lapparent De Broin, A. Kaoukaya and S. Sebti. 2018. Middle Eocene vertebrates from the sabkha of Gueran, Atlantic coastal basin, Saharan Morocco, and their peri-African correlations. Comptes Rendus Geoscience 350(6):310-318

288 notes · View notes

insideanairport · 5 years ago

Text

Nietzsche’s “Thus Spake Zarathustra” (part II/II)

❍❍❍

Iran between Zoroaster (زرتشت) and Islam

Last Thursday night (June 20th), Trump approved an attack on Iran after a US drone was shot down, yet he suddenly changed his mind and pulled back from the attack. (5) While Trump almost attacked Iran and started a new area of war and misery in the world, Iranians inside Iran and around the world are frightened by this escalation. Today, Iran’s Jewish community is the largest in the Mideast outside Israel – and feels safe and respected. (6)

Iranians in the diaspora have a variety of ethnicities, languages, religions, and political views but with different intensities, they all share the common Iranian-something else identity. There are many different political oppositions to the current Islamic Republic which in itself is one of the most straight-forward opponents of the United States hegemony and its imperial projects. Politically, Iranian Left has a wide spectrum; from the ultra-radical MEK which is supported by no one else but John Bolton, to Tudeh Party of Iran. Iranian right-wing opposition has also a wide gamut from ultra-right nationalists such as Persian Renaissance, Jason Reza Jorjani who hangs out with American white-supremacists Richard Spencer, to the good old monarchists, and of course the recent infamous Mohamad Tawhidi a fake Muslim cleric educated in Iran who is now a hero for the white-nationalists and Islamophobes. (7) (8)

Iranian nationalists see themselves as Caucasian or white. This might be in part due to the fact that etymologically the word Iran means “land of Aryans”. The Avestan name Airiianəm vaējō "Aryan expanse", is a reference in the Zoroastrian Avesta (Vendidad, Fargard 1) to the Aryans’ mother country and one of Ahura Mazda's "sixteen perfect lands". (9) Before the Islamic Revolution of 1978, Shah of Iran was seeing himself as a descendant of the great ancient Persian kings. In 1971, Shah decided to organize a huge event on the 2500-Year Celebration of Persian Empire (officially known as the 2500th year of Foundation of Imperial State of Iran). Many historians argue that this event resulted in the Iranian Revolution and eventual replacement of the Persian monarchy with the Islamic Republic. If you fancy watching some part of the event, there is good propaganda video narrated by Orsen Welles.

Before the Shah, for a short period, Iran had a cozy democracy in 1951-1952. Iran democratically elected its 25th prime minister Mohammad Mosaddegh (محمد مصدق‎), who was a supporter of secular democracy and resistance to foreign domination. He nationalized the Iranian oil for the first time in 1951. The oil industry had been built by the British on Persian lands since 1913 through the Anglo-Persian Oil Company (APOC/AIOC -later British Petroleum and BP). Mosaddegh’s government was overthrown in a coup d'état (28 Mordad 1332) orchestrated by the United States' CIA and the United Kingdom's MI6. (10)

Nietzsche and Postmodernism

Zoroaster [Zarathustra as its older form] was the ancient Persian prophet who lived in Iran at some point between 1500 BCE - 1000 BCE. Nietzsche chose the older version of Zoroaster’s name “Zarathustra”. Before publishing the book, Nietzsche included the first paragraph of Zarathustra’s prologue in his previous book Joyous Science (1882). There are two differences between this paragraph and the opening in Thus Spoke Zarathustra. (1) The title Incipit Tragoedia [tragedy begins] and (2) in Joyous Science the lake of Zarathustra’s home is mentioned as “lake Urmi” [today’s lake Urmia] compare to the prologue in Thus Spoke Zarathustra where the name of the lake is left out. We know that the real birthplace of Zoroaster is uncertain. (11)

Nietzsche’s anti-Christian and anti-majoritarian views (it's reversals of Christian morality and values) are picked up by white feminists and queer theorists for obvious reasons. As Michael Hardt wrote in the forward for Deleuze’s "Nietzsche and Philosophy”, postmodernists didn’t just use these concepts to get away from the dominant French Philosophical establishment of ’50s and ’60s but they were also genuinely interested in Nietzsche’s anti-universalities views.

Although very similar in methodology, there are some differences between the Nietzschean concept of solitude (which is very predominant in this work) and postcolonial marginalization and anxiety. Words such as "happiness” and “joy” has a distinctive meaning for Nietzsche which wasn’t unpacked in this book but was the main topic of his previous book Joyous Science (1882). Nietzschean Dionysius is more tonal in this book rather than descriptive and maybe has giving its chair to the bigger umbrella of Eternal Return as the "fundamental conception" of Thus Spoke Zarathustra. (-Ecce Homo, 1888)

Importance of writing as an activist

“Of all that is written I love only that which is written with blood. Write with blood: and you will discover that blood is spirit. It is not easy to understand the blood of another: I hate the reading idler. He who knows the reader does nothing further for the reader. Another century of readers – and spirit itself will stink. That everyone is allowed to learn to read will in the long run ruin not only writing but thinking, too. Once spirit was God, then it became man, and now it is even becoming mob[populace].”

At the end of chapter 4 in Joyous Science, Nietzsche inserted the opening of the Zarathustra’s prologue. He is making his readers ready for a transformation. For understanding Thus Spoke Zarathustra, it is essential for the reader to read Joyous Science first. Nietzsche wants to prepare his readers for his philosophy, so in a way, he is selective about who is he talking to.

“We not only want to be understood when we write, but also just as surely not to be understood. It is by no means an objection to a book that someone finds it unintelligible: perhaps this was precisely the author’s intention – perhaps he did not want to be understood by ‘just anyone’. Every individual with a distinguished intellect and sense of taste, when he wishes to communicate himself, always selects his listeners; by selecting them, he simultaneously excludes ‘the others’. All the subtler laws of style have their origin here; they simultaneously ward off, create distance and forbid ‘entrance’ (or intelligibility, as I have said) – while allowing the words to be heard by those whose sense of hearing resembles the author’s. And between ourselves, may I say that, in my own case, I do not want my ignorance or the vivacity of my temperament to prevent me from being understandable to you, my friends; certainly not the vivacity, however much it may compel me to come to grips with a thing quickly, in order to come to grips with it at all. (The Joyous Science - Book V, 381 On the Question of Intelligibility”)

Anti-Nietzsche writers

Anti-Nietzsche writers usually refer only to Nietzsche’s text from his early period (before the break with Wenger) without taking his later works into consideration. Taking his works out of context is a sign of dismissal of his philosophy and art. Nietzsche met Wagner at the home of Hermann Brockhaus an Orientalist who was married to Wagner’s sister, Ottilie. Brockhaus was himself a specialist in Sanskrit and Persian whose publications included an edition of the Vendidad Sade—a text of the Zoroastrian religion. (12) It was only after the publication of “Richard Wagner in Bayreuth” that he realized who Wagner really was (an anti-Semitic coward). After completion of “Human, All-Too-Human” (1878) and continuation of his friendship with Jewish philosopher Paul Rée, Nietzsche ends his friendship with Wagner, who comes under attack in a thinly-disguised characterization of “the artist”. (12)

“Nietzsche had long hymned the sublime power that Wagner’s music exercised over his senses but now he realised how it robbed him of his free will. The realisation filled him with a growing resentment against the delirious, befogging metaphysical seduction that once had seemed like the highest redemption of life. Now he saw Wagner as a terrible danger, and his own devotion to him as reeking of a nihilist flight from the world. He criticised Wagner for being a romantic histrionic, a spurious tyrant, a sensual manipulator. Wagner’s music had shattered his nerves and ruined his health; Wagner was surely not a composer, but a disease?”

(Sue Prideaux, “I Am Dynamite!: A Life of Nietzsche”)

To even start talking about Heidegger and Nietzschean metaphysics, is to miss-read Nietzsche, just as taking "Will To Power” as something that Nietzsche actually published is wrong. Will to Power was never meant to be a book, it was put together by Nietzsche’s Nazi sister Elisabeth Förster-Nietzsche and Heinrich Köselitz. They have selected, added and subtracted parts to Nietzsche’s notes in order to compile a book that is accessible to their average readers. (See Will to Power introduction by R. Kevin Hill, Penguin Classics 2017). Sue Prideaux described this perfectly in Nietzsche’s biography "I Am Dynamite!: A Life of Friedrich Nietzsche”. And Carol Diethe’s wrote a biography on Elisabeth Förster-Nietzsche which gives us more insight into her proto-Fascist mentality.

The Will to Power book, did everything that Nazis wanted, hugely swerving from Nietzsche’s philosophy, the book starts with "European nihilism" and ends with the forceful sentence “This world is the will to power – and nothing besides! And even you yourselves are this will to power – and nothing besides!”. No other philosophy could do better justice to the Nazi cause than this fabricated assemblage.

Majority of Nietzsche’s work can be hijacked by ultra-right and the new alt-right, expect his fundamental critic of Christianity which is at the heart of his philosophy. Fascist and racist white writers such as Jordan Peterson, Oscar Levy (who wrote the introduction to Untimely mediation in 1909 and according to Walter Kaufmann, forged a fake autobiography of Nietzsche titled “My Sister and I”), Richard Spencer and others have tried to utilize Nietzsche in their hatred of brown and black peoples, religious minorities, Muslims and Jews, Queer people, and liberals. (13)

Methodologically, Nietzsche doesn’t throw away, archaic classical concepts such as; nobility, civilization, and barbarism, he appropriates and instrumentalizes them for his philosophical end. He didn’t have everything perfect, after all, we are talking about a dude who lived his mature period 140 years ago and was using a “writing ball” to type. (14) He has comical and outdated stuff as well. His rejection of vegetarianism is one of them.

Who is living in Nietzsche’s world

It seems to me the worst thing that we can do when reading Nietzsche is to put his philosophy into a functionalist and majoritarian (national) use. He argues in Joyous Science concerning consciousness (which he perceives as a communal category rather than an individual one):

“the growth of consciousness is dangerous, and whoever lives among the most conscious Europeans even knows that it is a disease. As one might have guessed, it is not the antithesis of subject and object which concerns me here; I leave that distinction to the epistemologists who have remained entangled in the snares of grammar (the metaphysics of the people). Even less is it the antithesis of the ‘thing in itself’ and the phenomenon; for we do not ‘know’ enough to be entitled to make such a distinction. We have absolutely no organ for knowledge, for ‘truth’; we ‘know’ (or believe, or imagine) exactly as much as may be useful to us, exactly as much as promotes the interests of the human herd or species; and even what is called ‘useful’ here is ultimately only what we believe to be useful, what we imagine to be useful, but perhaps is precisely the most fatal stupidity which will some day lead to our destruction.”

Nietzsche’s critique of European Universalism and Western Humanism is still valid and timely, yet if we stay within the hegemonic “white domain“ (White-main) our theoretical understanding of Nietzsche, will be centered somewhere between the Alt-right racism, white phenomenology, European Modernist and localists, Silicon Valley accelerationism and Nick Land (which is equally racist). The only way to get out of this binary is to step out of White-main and find Nietzsche in between the lines of the second-generation non-European Nietzsche intellectuals (Fanon, Derrida, Aimé Césaire, Muhammad Iqbal, Ali Shariati) and the third-generation intellectuals (Spivak, Bhabha). At this time in history, Europeans can’t (and shouldn’t) any longer teach or perpetuate Nietzsche’s philosophy for any end. Not for Germany, not for any other white-majority nation. This is simply because they are already living in Nietzsche’s post-God reality.

Bib.

1. NIETZSCHE, FRIEDRICH and HOLLINGDALE, R. J. . Ecce Homo. s.l. : PENGUIN BOOKS, 2004. 9780141921730. 2. Sandis, Constantine. Nietzsche’s Dance With Zarathustra . philosophy now. [Online] 2012. https://philosophynow.org/issues/93/Nietzsches_Dance_With_Zarathustra. 3. Ashouri, Daryoush. Nietzsche and Persia. http://www.iranicaonline.org. [Online] July 20, 2003. http://www.iranicaonline.org/articles/nietzsche-and-persia. 4. Nietzsche, Friedrich. the joyous science . s.l. : Penguin Classics, 2018. 5. Michael D. Shear, Eric Schmitt, Michael Crowley and Maggie Haberman. Strikes on Iran Approved by Trump, Then Abruptly Pulled Back. nytimes.com. [Online] June 20, 2019 . https://www.nytimes.com/2019/06/20/world/middleeast/iran-us-drone.html. 6. Hjelmgaard, Kim. Iran’s Jewish community is the largest in the Mideast outside Israel – and feels safe and respected. msn. [Online] 8 29, 2018. https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/world/iran%E2%80%99s-jewish-community-is-the-largest-in-the-mideast-outside-israel-%E2%80%93-and-feels-safe-and-respected/ss-BBMAVgX. 7. Mackey, Robert. How a Fringe Muslim Cleric From Australia Became a Hero to America’s Far Right. theintercept.com. [Online] June 25, 2019. https://theintercept.com/2019/06/25/mohamad-tawhidi-far-right/?fbclid=IwAR25hr0TV8w0erffRrGhccVkC5G0KFwjR3y7tM7n2j-4nx4pp_b5PssuFzo. 8. Schaeffer, Carol. ALT FIGHT Jason Jorjani Fancied Himself an Intellectual Leader of a White Supremacist Movement — Then It Came Crashing Down. theintercept.com. [Online] March 18 , 2018. https://theintercept.com/2018/03/18/alt-right-jason-jorjani/. 9. ĒRĀN-WĒZ . Encyclopedia Iranica. [Online] http://www.iranicaonline.org/articles/eran-wez. 10. Kinzer, Stephen. All the Shah's Men: An American Coup and the Roots of Middle East Terror . s.l. : John Wiley & Sons, 2004. 11. Nietzsche, Friedrich. Joyous Science. s.l. : Penguin Calssics, 2018. 12. Wicks, Robert. Nietzsche’s Life and Works. The Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy. [Online] 2018. https://plato.stanford.edu/entries/nietzsche-life-works/. 13. Illing, Sean. The alt-right is drunk on bad readings of Nietzsche. The Nazis were too. www.vox.com. [Online] Dec 30, 2018. https://www.vox.com/2017/8/17/16140846/alt-right-nietzsche-richard-spencer-nazism. 14. Herbst, Felix. Nietzsche’s Writing Ball (Video). felixherbst.de. [Online] https://vimeo.com/43124993.

(Part II/II)

______________________

#read #reading

2 notes · View notes

aureliasaid · 4 years ago

Text

Arizona & Utah - National Parks

30 Years & Parkatecture

A 9 day tour of the National Parks of Arizona and Utah.

The Short Version (read on for more details)

Thursday-Saturday, April 23-25 2021

Historic El Tovar

Dinner in the dining room both nights

Kaibab Trail

Scenic Drive

Saturday, April 24

All en route to our next set of stops:

Glen Canyon

Navajo Historical Bridge over the Colorado River and numerous rafts having just started their jaunt into the Grand Canyon from Lee’s Ferry Page Horseshoe Bend Under Cover Lake Powell glamping “resort.”

Sunday, April 25

Boat rentals were out due to weather/winds so visited Wahweap Marina Lone Rock Beach Zion and Zion Lodge Zion Adventures to figure out the Narrows Hike dinner in Springdale at Oscar’s

Monday, April 26

Angel’s Landing hike

Whiptail restaurant in Springdale for lunch Zion Lodge for dinner

Tuesday, April 27

Bryce Canyon National Park is a much higher altitude at 9100 ft and thus the rain of Zion was snow at Bryce.

The Lodge at Bryce Canyon

Figure 8 trail which combines the Navajo, Peekaboo and Queen’s Garden Trails Dinner in Zion Lodge

Wednesday, April 28

Capital Reef National Park via Scenic Highway 12 Grand Staircase-Escalante National Monument Cassidy’s Arch Trail. A+.

12 mile very rustic scenic drive

Moab Hilton Curio Collection Hoo Doo Hotel Antica Forma Italian restaurant

Thursday, April 29

Canyonlands National Park

The Maze

scenic drive, hiked several 2-3 mile hikes (XXX) Dead Horse State Park Dinner at Josie Wyatt restaurant

Friday, April 30

Arches

Salt Lake City - Kimpton Monaco Hotel.

HSL restaurant

LDS Temple

Know before you go

Utah liquor laws are odd. No food no drinks. 1.5 oz only per drink Lots of places with only beer and wine, though marijuana is legal. Go figure.

Study up on the Moab area esp how to attack Canyonlands which takes more than a day unless you just do Island in the Sky area, but it deserves much more than that. And there is something for everyone - esp if hiking is not for you - 4x4, airplane flights, etc.

Avoid the parks on the weekend if at all possible. Esp Zion and Arches I would not go to any of the Utah parks if you are going to do fairly serious hiking much after mid-May IMO. And def not the Grand Canyon. Books say start back in Sept...TBD. The heat and dry air are dangerous.

The Utah parks in particular are great for families as there are lots of short and fairly easy options climbing all over the rocks. Not so much for the Grand Canyon.

I might do southern Utah separate from the Moab area....so much to do in both areas on their own. Could combine Moab with some of Colorado.

Consider going to the parks during winter for a different experience esp Bryce where there is lots of cross country skiing and snowshoeing. There would also be plenty of snowmobiling.

Capital Reef is an easy park to do in a day. No huge need to spend a night here. We were glad we went on to Moab. Great park though cause it’s not crowded.

If you are visiting 3 parks in one year, an $80 annual pass will be a great investment and for a good cause.

Gran Canyon Tips

Def do the Kaibab Trail over the Bright Angel Trail...way better scenery and more dramatic Don’t go in the summer months period; Early May would be the latest I would go It’s coldest on the rim where it at 6000’. Every 1000’ descent, add 5 degrees Do lots of the overlooks on the rim scenic drive; all a bit different Layers and more layers Electrolytes The Grandview Trail looked like a great option as well.

THE FULL VERSION

Thursday, April 22, 2021 - Grand Canyon

In yet another reason to hate Ameican Airlines, our direct flight was cancelled 48 hrs before departure now with stop and change in DFW. 😡 But such is a travel and it didn’t suppress excitement and anticipation other than cut down on a potential late afternoon activity. Arrived Phoenix 1:30 and set off in our new home, a Mazda CX-5 past Sedona, to Flagstaff and felt right at home on I-40, except the end destination is LA, not Wilmington.

First stop is What-a-Burger for lunch and convenience store for styrofoam cooler and provisions. On to Grand Canyon Village with a stop outside the park for more substantial provisions. Don’t forget your yearly NPS pass if you have it!

Covid regs very prevalent as all museums and visitor centers closed, limited bus service and seats, mandatory masking, and reduced capacity in the restaurants that are open. BUT still packed. Lots of lodging options.....Historic El Tovar is the place of choice, designed in the 1904 by famed Mary Coltar, it has the divine feel of the parkatecture meant to be in keeping with the environment, but also more “luxurious” and cozy than the X Stanley Underwood historic lodges in many of the of parks. El Tovar def considers itself luxury and the prices reflect that both in lodging and in the delicious, highly desired dining room where tuxedoed wait staff show off their desserts as you enter and offer main courses $35 and up. The main theme is to highlight the Native American culture (Navajo, Hopi, etc.) through artwork, rugs, aesthetics, carvings and on the hotel china. Rooms are modernized and very comfortable with spacious and updated bathrooms.

If you don’t want to afford the EL Tovar, check out the equally historic, but perhaps less lux accommodations at the Bright Angel Lodge just down the way, also built in 1935 in the same log cabin feel. This also has individual cabins that look quite quaint and several dining options and bar. Aside from these, there are several other hotels right in the village with great views and up the way by the Visitor Center area.

A quick jaunt on the Rim Trail to get acclimated to Canyon Village and breathless views esp at sunset before having a relaxing dinner in the EL Tovar dining room which is a must whether staying there or not. Open breakfast, lunch and diner, reservations are essential though walk-ins are welcomed (the line had already started at 5pm!) It is the best room in the hotel....large, yet cozy with large stone fireplaces at either end flanked by large window views of the Canyon. Very sumptuous in its own way.

Friday, April 23 - Rim to Rim Hike, Grand Canyon

East Coast time works to your advantage as the earlier the better in getting on the trails. The Kaibab trail is considered the most picturesque and we can vouch for that. We had our styrofoam cooler breakfast at 6am, caught the hikers shuttle at 6:30 and got on the trail at 6:50 though the sun had long been up since 5am. You can pick your turnaround point at various miles. We had thought to turnaround at the 4 mile point of Tip Off, but the Colorado RIver was just (seemingly) close and lured us as if sirens beckoning us on. And so we did. After all it was only 2 more miles and all those other seemingly unlikely people were doing it. In fact they were going Rim-to-Rim. Why not? We had plenty of provisions after all and it wasn’t too hot.

The Colorado River was in fact gorgeous. the color of grass and so inviting, we made it to Black Bridge, the lunch-stopping point for rafters and the home to the famed Phantom Ranch and campgrounds. BTW, reservations to Ghost Ranch is by lottery and a year out. Good luck. And so, against all better judgement, we recklessly decide to go the Rim-to-Rim following the RIver Trail since Silver Bridge was closed and hooking up with the Bright Angel Trail which meant another 10 miles after having done 7. The theory was that it was different and not as steep as the return on Kaibab, but would be 3 more miles. Hm....lesser of two evils?? The River Trail was gorgeous, but as for the Bright Angel.....well, its a grueling slog. We are milking our R to R feat, but our feet (and knees) are still recovering. In hindsight, we shoulda stuck with the original plan which was down to Tip Off and then back (still uber strenuous) but then rent bikes and bike the Rim Trail which for non-canyon hiking sorts is perfectly gorgeous and can be 26 miles or 100 yards, whatever you want, and all flat!

Recovery consisted of ice cream, bath soak, laid out on the bed, and a martini with dinner back in El Tovar dining room.

TIPS: Def do the Kaibab Trail over the Bright Angel Trail...way better scenery and more dramatic Don’t go in the summer months period; Early May would be the latest I would go It’s coldest on the rim where it at 6000’. Every 1000’ descent, add 5 degrees Do lots of the overlooks on the rim scenic drive; all a bit different Layers and more layers Electrolytes The Grandview Trail looked like a great option as well.

Saturday, April 24 - On to Lake Powell, Under Canvas

An early, but comparatively relaxed morning. Though breakfast starts at 7am, there was already a 45 minute wait at 7:15, which may be more likely cause of Covid restrictions, but worth the wait with a divine breakfast that we deserved having eaten in rationed portions throughout the previous day’s death march.

Off by way of the Canyon Rim drive to numerous overlooks....check out Mather Point at the Visitor Center for a great view of all your previous hiking (bike rentals here too); then Hance Point for great river views and on to Lipton and Grand View.

Onward waving good bye to the GC our next set of stops including the Glen Canyon for the Navajo Historical Bridge which is just an awesome view over the multi shades of the deliciously green Colorado River and numerous rafts having just started their jaunt into the Grand Canyon from Lee’s Ferry which is the put in point and considered the start of the Grand Canyon. Back to do the Cathedral Wash hike, this seems an easy and unique 3 mile round trip walk through a gully canyon that can be a death trap during summer storms from flash floods. Beautiful, it is unique, but not easy and it involves lots of rock climbing, some butt walking, all fours at times, and some bread crumbs would be good too as the trail, inevitably always changing, is not well marked other than by some well meaning folks placing rock stacks/cairns. The prize though at the end is the Colorado riverside and a delightful foot dip is invigorating in its icy temps.

Highway 89 to Page where the famed Antelope Canyon Slots are closed after 11 people perished in a storm induced flash flood. (Another option to see this is by guided Kayak tours from page which we didn’t pay much attention since we planned to see it buy rented motorboat. Unfortunate decision.) A stop by Horseshoe Bend is a good bathroom break and leg stretcher for a beautiful view of the Colorado. BTW, Page, clearly a jumping off point for Lake Powell, is seemingly very skippable. On to Under Cover Lake Powell glamping “resort.” A nifty spread of 50 “permanent” tents and the main tent with lots of outdoor seating, fire pits, and food truck type kitchen for breakfast, lunch and dinner. An engineering marvel, each tent is set up with all the modern conveniences. More of a Radisson than a Ritz in the world of glamping, you want for nothing other than decent weather and maybe a pair of earplugs for that tent down the way on their 3rd bottle of wine. Each tent is outfitted with full working toilet, wood burning stove, sink with potable water, hot shower (hand held) delightful bed linens and full USB mighty battery packs for lighting, and any personal charging needs. A porch and porch furniture, inside leather chairs, and a king bed made for very attractive and comfy digs right down to the wicker tissue holder.

Winds were really blowing so we ate inside the main tent where there was live music and very fresh and creative food cooked on demand. A fun experience that may not be for all, but certainly unique and well done. Would be great with kids, though not small children IMO.

Sunday, April 25 - on to Zion National Park

Our MO of Lake Powell was to see it by boat. Alas, the weather did not cooperate. So what to do? A drive by. So back to Wahweap Marina where the house boats that are 3 stories high and sleep up to 20 are docked like dominoes. Something to behold. The lake is HUGE with majestic and classic red rock formations all around. We scooted over to Lone Rock Beach to see....Lone Rock....a huge rock in the middle of this part of the lake and a big “sandy” beach with tons of people camping, etc. Then onto check out the Amangiri Hotel, tucked away in the desert mountains...but alas...the intercom person at the gated subtle entrance said “we are fully booked and are not giving tours at this time.” Eye-roll. At $4000 a night, ok whatever. We skipped the suggested Wire Canyon slots in Buckskin Gulch and headed for Zion.

Beautiful day and clearly everyone else thought so too. Zion is not for Zion, but for Zoo! Our main goal is to hike the Narrows and when we see the weather for Monday looking rainy and cold, we hustle it up to get going today since its warm and sunny.

Zion is a large park, but very cut up, so the mainly visited section is actually very small. To cut down on traffic, the park closed the lone in and out road to cars except those staying at Zion Lodge, who get a special parking pass and code for the gate. If not at the Lodge, PLAN this well ahead to get your shuttle ticket, reserve your dry gear for the Narrows, food, etc. Otherwise you are dooking it out with the masses. Springdale borders the park and is a touristy but very attractive town with plenty of places to stay and loads of restaurants. There aren’t that many hikes, so you really don’t need more than 2 days here unless you want to horseback ride. They tout biking, but it is really mostly as a way to get about in the park. Rentals abound and I would get an e-bike if you need it. But just if you can’t navigate the shuttle, cause the road is not really suited to biking.

So we hurried to Zion Adventures to figure out the Narrows. Supposedly 6 hrs round trip, we decided just to do as much as we could. It can be 1.5 miles or 13 miles. But MOST important is a good hiking stick, then the water shoes and socks. Additionally, we were geared up in springtime recommended dry pants and very happy with that as well. And we are off. Shuttle to Sinawava, the last stop, walk the riverside trail and get in the Virgin River. We started at 2:30 and were like Salmon swimming upstream. The masses, hoards and throngs of people were amazing. A river of people in everything from Tevas and shorts with logs as walking poles to one woman with a 6 month old in her arms which is crazy as the walking is quite tricky picking your way thorough and around the rocks, quick current, and various water levels, typically to your calves, but to my waist in some sections. Fortunately most people were returning and we could avoid them. At its widest, the river is maybe 25 yards wide and at the point where we turned around about 2 miles upstream in the Wall Street area, its perhaps 5-8 yards wide. And beautiful. There is a reason it is so popular. Smooth canyon walls and cliffs straight up with varying colors of red, black, gray, and white plus the green vegetation, not often seen in the other desert areas. Totally unique and worth the effort. I would have been very bummed not to do it. Oh, and it took 3.5 hours, not 6 for a total of about 6 miles from the shuttle drop off.

Feeling very satisfied with ourselves, we had to have the equipment back by 8pm, so decided on dinner in Springdale at Oscar’s was recommended by the young staff at Zion Adventures. Excellent. Super casual indoors and outdoor seating with excellent Mexican and creative burgers. Outstanding. Note: Utah ain’t big on drinking, but know its big revenue, so they allow it with lots of regs: must have food with the drink, lots of places beer and wine only. Another note: my buddy Kirsten is a native Ute and Mormon who said that Mexican is the way to go in Utah and the Utah burger which is a burger with pastrami and gruyere cheese plus “Fry Sauce” - 1000 island/aioli type concoction of mayo, ketchup, pickle juice and salt. It’s quite tasty, but will opt for Mexican over the Utah burger....

Monday, April 26 - Zion National Park

Not sure if its the weather or that its Monday, but the crowds have slightly dissipated. Nevertheless, our hike to the famed Angel’s Landing was also packed. This is quite the hike. Straight up and on the cliff and ridges. Not for the faint of heart or fear of heights. I bailed about halfway through. Then on to do all the 3 Emerald Pools, which are a great set of trails throughout the rugged terrain with great views, though once again, it felt like Mt. Everest with stop and go hiking at times. A store owner said that Zion had more visitors last year than Yellowstone though minute in size compared to Yellowstone and is busy 9 months out of the year. Something to think about. Go in very off months IMO.

Then the rains and wind came and with the chilly temps, we packed it in to Whiptail for another delish meal not unlike Oscar’s. We toured some shops, art galleries, and checked out the visitor center which is open because of course its open air...funny that the Park museums and centers such are closed but the shops are open......and then took it in to give our calves and thighs a break.

Had to eat in the dining room, which given Covid and maybe (Utah) and the weather, was not ideal. Disappointing dining room in general with a cafeteria type buffet line, though closed, that made the atmosphere pretty utilitarian. Add ordering everything at the host staton and it delivered to your table. There was a full bar, so that was a bonus. And if we could have easten on the great deck, it would have been significantly better. Back in the room by 8pm....

Tuesday, April 27 - on to Bryce Canyon Nat Park

Cold and overcast, we blew out for Bryce by 7:30. Bryce Canyon National Park is a much higher altitude at 9100 ft and thus the rain of Zion was snow at Bryce. Beautiful drive through the Red Canyon in the Dixie National Forest which was gorgeous. Snow everywhere and the red cliffs and hoodoo formations of Bryce were simply magical with a dusting of snow.

The Lodge at Bryce Canyon was much more what we hoped for in terms of parkatecture expectations. Not grand, but cozy log cabin style with good common spaces around the large fireplace, comfortable dining room with several fireplaces and overall homey and welcoming. The historic cabins looked desirable, but alas are not heated and don’t open til summer. Which was good since more snow arrived late afternoon and night.

We took off immediately for the Figure 8 trail which combines the Navajo, Peekaboo and Queen’s Garden Trails for about 7 miles. Fantastical scenery of the hoo doo formations with the trail carved into the side of the cliffs and through the canyon bottom. Lots of fun and challenging. Afterwards, the scenic drive is a good way to rest legs and see remarkable scenery along the 18 mile way. A quick mile loop at the end for views (and the 1800 year old Bristlecone Pine tree.)

And the snow came again. Gorgeous wet, granular (called Grapple) flakes accumulated quickly and was beyond beautiful. A break in the clouds gave way for a blue sky sunset, but the snow showers returned covering the firs and junipers.

Dinner was much the same as Zion Lodge, only more utilitarian, but at least a more inviting setting. Order with the host, pay and they give it to you not on Poland but literally in complete take out paper bags. You can at least sit at the tables after sanitizing and if discreet, the staff looks the other way with regard to the no alcohol in the building. Makers and water in our water bottle worked just fine with the elk chili.

Wednesday, April 28 - Capital Reef Nat Park to Moab

Once again, a “take-in” breakfast at the Lodge and then on the road to Capital Reef National Park. The big question: is Scenic Highway 12 ok to drive after the snow? The pass at Boulder is almost 10000 ft and can be tricky. With temps predicted to be 60 by afternoon, we decided yes. And well worth it. Ducking through the Dixie NF and the Grand Staircase-Escalante National Monument, which BTW is not a monument per se, but 1.9 million miles of area that refers to the stairstepped terrain from the seismic shift 60 million years from the Colorado Plateau down to and help setting the stage for the development of the Grand Canyon.

Anywho, arrived CRNP to low fanfare. A mid-major park, it is unique in its own right of white sandstone domes like Capital buildings and reef by the seafaring pioneers who were finding the travel difficult to navigate like reefs. Those determined Mormons MUCH later than the Paiute and Fremont natives) who did make a success here as the canyon bottom is quite fertile from the Fremont River. WIth limited time, we headed for the two starred hikes - 3.5 mile 1200 elevation Cassidy’s Arch Trail. A+. Get your knees limbered and Mountain Goat Shoes on as you climb the rocks - challenging and gorgeous but not scary and great rewards at the end for Cassidy’s Arch (so named since the area was a fav haunt for Butch and the Wild Bunch.) Then the 12 mile very rustic scenic drive to the Canyon Groge in and out. The last section is dirt road and is the Narrows for carsa Dan is more entertaining than the dry canyon narrows walk, which is still good. And that’s it folks for CRNP. Check. Off for another 3 hr drive to Moab.

So Moab....well described in the guide book - a cross between Aspen and Gatlinburg. The main drag is just that....Main Street is 4 lane and constantly busy and loud with major 18 wheelers heading right through town. We were very uneducated about Moab and it was much different from what we expected as were the parks there too. Much revolves around motorized sports - 4x4 wheeling, motocross, airplanes, etc. We missed that whole aspect. Places renting every kind of vehicle with it without guides, then all the mechanical shops to fix it right on Main Street. It has exploded with 7 new hotels having gone up in the past 2 years, but it is a real mishmash of tourists stuff. It clearly developed as a means to an end and gentrification and sophisticated take a back seat.....so far. And that’s true with restaurants too. Plan ahead and get a rezzie at the Desert Bistro.

Checked into the Hilton Curio Collection Hoo Doo Hotel which is new and quite nice. ANd quite nice after 7 days to be in some commercialism. Get Hoo Doo has a great heated pool area, with excellent restaurant Josie Wells with a big outdoor space and also opens up into the pool. Quiet, spa and right in town which is just what we wanted vs the much pricier and out from town Sorrel Lodge. We walked to dinner at Antica Forma Italian restaurant, which left ALOT to be desired in terms of atmosphere - loud, a sort of independentyl owned Olive Garden type, BUT the food was quite good - thin crust pizza and light, homemade tomato sauce in the lasagna.

Thursday, April 29 - Canyonlands National Park

A more relaxed, sunny and beautiful day going to 80 degrees with a sit down breakfast with Canyonlands National Park as the day’s destination. About 30 miles outside Moab, Canyonlands is all about the 4x4 and seeing the park is almost next to impossible without it. Not having planned for this, we decided to enjoy only the more popular section of Islands in the Sky. It’s almost 2 hrs to get to The Needles section or a different 1.5 hrs to get to the XXX section and The Maze is basically only reachable by 4x4 or long hikes. So, we did the ubiquitous scenic drive, hiked several 2-3 mile hikes (XXX) and called it a day to go back and explore Moab, the pool, and get needed lunch provisions. Great decision. BUT if we had researched more or had more time or probably just now that we know, we would allow more time and plan for some of the other activities because it is beautiful and amazing. Maybe more than the Grand Canyon, which while awesome, is just one canyon and this is HUGE, vast millions of canyons in every direction being carved by both the Green and Colorado rivers. We were dumbstruck. Once again, the hikes were sorta crowded so ice there is not so much that can be done in one day for the average tourist like us.

Dinner at Josie Wyatt restaurant at the hotel which was quite good.

Friday, April 30 - Arches National Park

We had seen the long lines of cars to get in Arches en route to Canyonlands, so we were up and atta’em at the gate by 8:30 still to a mass of cars filing in. Perhaps the horse heading back to the barn, or 9 straight days of hiking or the heat or the loads of people, but we were somewhat underwhelmed by Arches. Still a wonder to see, this is the park for families. Like many of the other Utah parks, there is endless rock climbing hikes, but here there lots of short hikes just off the road easy for all. And they were there. Packed and wither ranger directed parking or circling lots hoping for someone to leave. Ugh. We saw the most impressive arches and they were fun, had our picnic and pointed our car north to Salt Lake City where we stayed in town at the Kimpton Monaco Hotel. We scouted out the nest eats and landed at HSL about 10 blocks away and scored major. Creative and outstanding followed by a night walk around the city where the Temple is something to see for sure.

Saturday, May 1 - Salt Lake City departure

Flying the friendly skies, which BTW, the Salt Lake Airport is pretty great. Very close to town (stay in town unless your flight is seriously 0:dawn thirty) new, clean (like all Mormon stuff plus organized.) The Delta terminal is quite nice.

#usa #utah #arizona #nationalpark #national park

0 notes

allinyourmindclimbing · 7 years ago

Photo

The pictures all belong to John Gill / copyright John Gill !!

INTERVIEW with the legendary John Gill.

(Interview done by - and intro written by Jean-Marc Winckel in 2008)

John Paul Gill Jr., born February 16, 1937, in Tuscaloosa, Alabama (USA) is my all time climbing hero beside Wolfgang Güllich, Klem Loskot, Tony Lamprecht and some others. I admire his philosophy about climbing, especially bouldering. He is a mathematician, a gymnast, a climber and for me a philosopher, a wise man. « There is an affinity between math and climbing. It has to do with independence of effort and good pattern recognition skills, coupled with a desire to solve problems and explore. », so John.

As a gymnast, he discoverd bouldering and introduced the use of magnesia (chalk) and the dynamic movements into climbing. The jumps were aesthetically pleasing him. The picture where he does a one-arm front lever (see the pictures) became very known throughout the whole world. Therefore, he is also known as the father of bouldering. Climbing was for John an extension of gymnastics. In his first article in the « American Alpine Journal » in 1969 named « The Art Of Bouldering » he wrote : « …the boulderer is concerned with form almost as much as with success and will not feel that he has truly mastered a problem until he can do it gracefully. » But what I admire the most about him are his ideas about the mental strength in climbing and how he experimented with it.

Pat Ament writes in his biography about John Gill : « … He found in bouldering sharp, clear reality, and on occasion a feeling that – with the right consciousness – he weighed a little bit less. The right mental attitude might inspire « a slight sensation of telekinesis » or in fact minutely perceivable levitation. It was easy to listen to such concepts, as they flowed subtly and with somewhat of a sense of humor from Gill. After all, he did at times seem to defy gravity. »

In Yosemite in the late ‘70s Yvon Chouinard said about John : « Climbing is still in a stage of pure physical movement, and the next step is going to be mind control. I think Gill has already gone into that, from watching him prepare for a boulder even in the late ‘50s. … You’re going to have to use meditation and Yoga to be able to get up some of the new climbs, because pure physical strength and technique are not going to be enough. … I think it’s going to be Zen and the art of rock climbing. »

In the beginning, John found inspiration for his mental training by reading the books of Carlos Castaneda (« A Separate Reality », « The Teachings of Don Juan », « The Art of Dreaming », …) Often he soloed long, easy graded routes to enter mentally another world and experiment with the flow effect. Experiences such as these were entirely the consequences of meditative practices, for he NEVER had used psychedelic drugs.

Furthermore, Pat Ament writes in the biography : « Gill spoke of a mystical reality that, as he described, was an « extension of the hypnagogic state. » He suggested that certain exertions in bouldering occasionally produced an apparent separation of « I-consciousness » and physical body, « similar to how the mind of a long-distance runner seems to soar above the automaton-like running form… » … Gill seemed fond of the phrase « kinesthetic awareness, » meaning perhaps « self-realization, » a turning inward where all realms – sensory, mental, athletic, artistic, intellectual, mystical, spiritual and aesthetic – are united. »

In his essay « Notes on Bouldering – The Vertical Path » John described that the « outer value » of bouldering, pure difficulty, is just one aspect of the sport. The « inner value » of bouldering has much more to offer. But to acquire it one has to break away from competition !

In his description about a climb near Pueblo that John Gill and Chris Jones soloed together, Chris said : « One must be free to choose a more difficult way than the easiest, if that is what strikes the fancy of the moment. The rock must be a menu, for this « menu-soloing .» The choices, freedom, movement, mental acuity inspired by the exposure, warmth of the sun, feel of the rock – the EXPERIENCE is everything. »

I am SO happy that I had the chance to have contact with John and ask him to make a little interview with this living legend. I hope you enjoy this interview as much as I did ! Let it be a little inspiration for you to improve yourself, change the way you see things, change your views about climbing and enter mentally another world while climbing.

I advice you to read the biography « John Gill – MASTER OF ROCK » written by his friend Pat Ament (ISBN : 0-8117-2853-6) and have a look at his website www.johngill.net !

Have fun … it’s all in your mind !

1. When and how did you discover bouldering/climbing ?

In 1953, as a junior in high school in Atlanta, Georgia, a classmate, Jeanne Shearer (Bergen) took me along to north Georgia on a one-day expedition to try to find a cave in the middle of a limestone cliff. She had ropes and carabiners and slings, and I was fascinated with dangling above an abyss and scrambling about. I started bouldering – without knowing that was what I was doing – in 1954, while a student at Georgia Tech. Seemed like a natural extension of the gymnastics I was learning. A couple of years later in the Tetons Yvon Chouinard told me I was "bouldering", something he and his pals did in a light-hearted way at Stoney Point near Los Angeles. No one had the faintest idea of the history or origin of the activity, and it was strictly playtime on the rock, not serious climbing. Some Brit, I'm guessing, told someone at Stoney Point in the late 1940s or early 1950s they were "boulderers".

2. Do you still boulder/climb a lot? If not, how did you put the sport behind you?

I quit bouldering over twenty years ago after tearing the biceps off my right forearm in a bouldering accident. After thirty-something years of chalked-up dynamics, my body said "enough". I returned to my other climbing love – modest freesoloing – for a number of years. These days, with arthritic shoulders and chronic rotator cuff problems, I still enjoy traverses right above the ground, and I may get back into some solo climbing this summer, as well. However, I can't jump off boulders anymore, regardless of mats.

3. Do you consider climbing in general as a sport or a lifestyle?

For me it was an athletic lifestyle.

4. In how far do you relate mathematics with climbing and gymnastics with climbing? What do they all have in common?

I'm not sure mathematics has much to do with gymnastics, but the problem-solving aspect bears some relationship with the more cerebral aspect of rock climbing or bouldering. Gymnastics was good for me, for I began climbing with no athletic background and the still rings and gymnasium rope led to chalk, dynamics, and strength. I did gymnastics for its own sake as well, enjoying learning difficult moves and feeling the grace and precision necessary for the sport.

5. What do you mean by “option soloing”?

Picking and choosing among different possible lines according to difficulty or aesthetics when going up otherwise relatively easy terrain.

6. Do you stay in tune with modern bouldering, the magazines or websites?

Not really. I read some of the articles occasionally.

7. What differs in your opinion the climbing of today from the climbing when you discovered the sport?!

The level of naiveté. When too much is known about an activity and the standards are very high, it seems more like work than play. There was a different sense of adventure back then, more like a pilot flying by the seat of his pants in the 1920s when compared to modern flight training. Jets are neat, but think of the time the old barnstormers had!

8. What do you think of the current grading system in bouldering and the 20+ moves boulder traverses? Should they be graded as a route or a boulder problem?

The V-scale seems adequate, although I'd like to see one set of numbers or letters for all kinds of rock moves, low or high, short or extended – a system incorporating some sort of additional marker to distinguish power from endurance.

9. What do you think about the recent grade-explosion? Wouldn't a scaling system that is in constant evolution or a grading system depending on the number of ascents be more appropriate?

Every generation since the 1950s has seen a "grade explosion". If the circumstances are right, yes, a simple ratio of attempts vs. success might be a nearly-objective system. But this is very unlikely to occur. In gymnastics, in the 1950s, there were A, B, and C level moves. Now there are D and E and super E additional levels of difficulty. The open-ended structure is entrenched and would take a nuclear detonation to change!

10. How many moves had a typical boulder problem "at your time"? And how high were they?

Depends on where they were. At Jenny Lake the problems were very short, just three or four moves, if that, on 12 foot-high boulders. In the Needles of South Dakota, they were somewhat longer, sometimes up to 30 feet, but that was rare. I used to compare a problem with a gymnastic routine, which would have 7 or 8 moves at most. More than that and you were on a climb.

11. Why didn't you put a mattress under your boulders? For ethical reasons, transportation issues or are the young guys cowards? :-)

Are you kidding? Pads were invented to make money. We would take a simple and cheap top-rope along for some of the problems with bad landings or exposure. The "ethics" of not using a top-rope was subtly encouraged by pad makers. A mattress? Puleeese!

12. Is a boulderer a better gymnast or a gymnast a better boulderer?

I don't think there is a solid correlation. In my time – in the 1950s – being a gymnast helped, but not necessarily now that rock climbing has become so specialized and advanced. Better to avoid the excess weight of gymnastic muscle tissue.

13. Didn't you offend any purists and climbers of your time when you started using chalk and doing dynamical movements?

There were some – usually those lucky climbers whose hands stayed dry naturally – who complained about chalk. They didn't feel good losing their genetic advantage! There weren't many who complained about dynamics, although climbers had to become stronger over the years to successfully apply dynamics to the rock. The old adage about three-point suspension came down through the ages in British circles, where climbers objected to the "excessive" use of modern gear. Geoffrey Winthrop Young and others recoiled from the idea of risking falls. Also, the US Army strongly encouraged their mountain troops to follow that practice.

14. You began rock climbing around 1953! Does climbing guard against arthritis?

Little correlation, if any. My shoulders are badly arthritic, but that came mostly from still ring work years ago. My hands and fingers are fine, and it's been 55 years now. I suspect, however, that some types of crack climbing may lead to the condition./p>

15. Do you think the best climbers in the world are that good mainly through good genetics or through dedication?

First genetics, then practice. Without a good anatomical structure, the higher levels of difficulty may not be attainable.

16. Do you believe that yoga and meditation exercises help a lot to increase the level of climbing?

What I found was that meditation increased my enjoyment of climbing no matter what the level. Why does everything have to relate to reaching a higher number?

17. In Pat Ament's biography about you, Yvon Chouinard said: "Climbing is still in a stage of pure physical movement, and the next step is going to be mind control. I think Gill has already gone into that,... in the late '50s.". Please comment on that and do you agree with our saying "it's all in your mind!"?

Speaks for itself, doesn't it? But I think mental control is achieved while actually struggling on the rock – itself a disciplining authority - rather than sitting in an ashram.

18. In how far did the books of Carlos Castaneda help you to enter mentally another world?

They were a tremendous help. After entering another form of reality I saw the true and ancient foundations of religion. Saint Theresa of Avila was a pioneer in this realm.

19. In your essay "Notes on bouldering-The Vertical Path" you wrote that aiming for difficulty in our sport is unhealthy! Why?

Did I say that? Huh. It's not unhealthy, but it is overly confining. There are other dimensions of the sport. One can climb as a moving meditation – not to increase difficulty levels, but to enjoy a kind of epiphany.

20. Please explain and tell us a little bit about "kinaesthetic awareness" and the "flow effect" you experimented with for many years?

Any gymnast can understand the flow of a routine and feel graceful and precise movement. It's not merely to impress the judges. It's an inner reward. It's too bad that the sport of bouldering has been taken over by those who see it as simply competition and a numbers game.

Thank you very much for this interview John and we wish you good luck & health and all the best for the future and may the force be with you!

6 notes · View notes

altughuner-blog · 6 years ago

Photo

Mahalakshmi temple and Kolhapur – you probably hear these words in the same breath. From a pilgrim and travelers’ perspective, both mean the same. Most visit the city for the darshan of Mahalakshmi goddess.

Mahalakshmi Temple Stock Photos – Shutterstock

Kolhapur is an ancient city in Maharashtra on the banks of Panchganga river. It is mentioned in many scriptures like Devi Gita of Devi Bhagwat Puran and other Shakta texts. It is also known as Karvirpur Kshetra and Mahalakshmi is also known as Karveerpur Vasini – the one who lives in Karvirpur. The city still revolves around Ambabai – another name of Mahalakshmi.

An old image from Ambabai website

Kolhapur is named after asura Kolhasur who was killed by the Devi. It was his dying wish that the city is named after him.

The temple is a Shakti Peeth, one of the most important Devi temples in India. The number of Shakti Peethas vary depending on which text you are looking at, but Mahalakshmi of this city is always a part of that list. It is a Maha Shakti Peeth.

Mahalakshmi Temple or Ambabai Mandir

It is at the heart of Kolhapur just like Kanchi Kamakshi is at the heart of Kanchipuram. The whole town revolves around the holy place.

Landscape view of the entrance

I had first visited the temple on my Deccan Odyssey trip. It was a quick darshan, but with a promise to come back. It took me a few years to go back. This time we landed in the city around 4 AM and headed straight to the temple. We reached just in time for the morning ritual of waking up the goddess. I could not have asked for more.

Mahalakshmi Temple Architecture

When you enter, you see the base of the big structure in dark grey stone. You get a hint of Chalukyan architecture. Most of the sculpted images on the walls are broken.

The architecture of the Mandir

If you understand Indian temple architecture, you can make out a lot of Madanika or Sur Sundari figures. The literature points out that these were probably 64 yoginis carved on the niches all around. It is difficult to identify or count them as it is covered by many things at the moment. Some deities can also be seen.

On the steps leading to the mandir, I could see a huge Varaha image holding the Bhudevi in its mouth.

Shikhara’s

The Shikhara’s is painted in pale lemon yellow with saffron outlines. The Shikhara’s are triangular or conical in shape and look like a much later addition to the original mandir. Were the original Shikharas destroyed or they were simply renovated, I am yet to find the answer.

Conical Shikhara in pale lime color

From the ground level, it is difficult to understand the formation of Shikharas. There are 5 Shikharas in all. The central one is on top of Koorma Mandap and the four in four cardinal directions surrounding it are on the temples of Mahalakshmi, Mahakali, Mahasaraswati, and Ganapati. The one on top of the presiding deity is the tallest of them.

Typical Maharashtra style Deepstambhs stand in one corner. It would be a pleasure to see them lit up like olden days. I was told they are lit up on the festival days.

Deepstambh of Ambabai Mandir

The main entrance gate is called Mahadwar, you see the deity as you enter from this gate. There are other entrances in North and East called Ghati and Purva Darwaja respectively.

Varaha Holding Bhudevi – Mahalaxmi Temple Kolhapur

There used to be two ponds in the complex called Kashi and Manikarnika but they no longer exist now.

The main temple is surrounded by many small ones.

Mahalaxmi Murti

The main Murti of Mahalaxmi is in black stone. It is four-armed Mahalakshmi in standing pose, about 3 feet in height.

Kolhapur Mahalakshmi or Karvirpurvasini

If you want to see the Murti, visit early in the morning for the first Arti called Kakad Arti. You will witness the waking up the Goddess by singing songs. After which, her clothes are changed and morning Alankar is done. During the Abhishek, you get to see the Murti.

During the Arti, few women are allowed to sit inside the Garbhgriha. It is a divine experience to sit next to the goddess as the deep goes around her and the bells ring all around.

Old photo of Murti of Mahalakshmi Devi

The big Alankar Arti is done around afternoon time. Sri Mahalakshmi is dressed in a colorful silk Sari and then adorned with lots of jewelry. I would later find the same jewelry designs in the markets of the city.

Ambabai Murti from Ambabai website

The Pradakshina path or the circumambulation path around the sanctum is rather plain compared to the rest it. It was built in 11th CE by King Gandaraditya of the Shilahara Dynasty indicating that temple pre-dates it. Try tapping the wall just behind the deity and you will hear a different sound from the other stones around it.

Mahakali & Mahasaraswati

To the right of Mahalaxmi’s Murti is a small temple dedicated to goddess Mahakali. On the left, is another dedicated to Mahasaraswati. Together the three deities constitute the highest trinity of Shakti representing the three guns – Rajas, Tamas & Satva. All three images are in the main temple. As per Durga Saptashati, Mahakali and Mahasarawati emerge from Mahalakshmi.

Opposite the sanctum is a small Ganesha mandir.

Koorma Mandap

In front of the sanctum, there are two mandapas. First one is called Darshan mandap and is used to have darshan of Mahalakshmi.

The second is Octagonal Rangmadapa called Koorma mandapa as the central stone or Shila is carved in the shape of a tortoise. It is also called Shankh Tirth Mandap as this is where the priest stands to sprinkle the Tirth on the devotees using a Shankh or a conch shell.

I stood there as the priest came with the water used for the Abhishek of the Mahalakshmi as he sprinkled it generously on us using a conch shell. People close their eyes and open their mouths to take the water in.

All these constructions are in dark black stone.

Matulinga

Right above the sanctum of Mahalakshmi temple, there is a cave-like temple with a Shiva linga called Matulinga along with Ganesha and Nandi. You have to take a flight of stairs to reach this. This gives the impression of being a cave temple.

Matulinga mandir is opened briefly after the early morning Arti, and you are allowed to visit it. I think it is kept closed for the rest of the day.

Matulinga shrine dates back to 12th CE. The linga represents the linga that is carved on the crown of Mahalaxmi as it was not visible to the devotees.

Sri Yantra

In one wall niche, there is a Sri Yantra carved. Haldi, Kumkum and flowers are offered to it just as they are offered to the main deity.

It is covered with glass so it is difficult to see it properly.

Other Temples in the Mahalakshmi Temple complex

Navgrah

Navagraha – Dedicated to the nine planets

Sheshashayee Vishnu – This octagonal structure closer to the eastern gate has a panel of 60 Jain Tirthankaras. It is suggested that this was dedicated to Neminath. However, as of now, Vishnu sits here comfortably.

Vitthal Rukmai

Old photo of Datta Temple in Ambabai Mandir complex

Datta mandir

Radhakrishna, Kalbhairav, Siddhivinayak, Sinhavahini, Tuljabhavani, Lakshmi-Narayana, Annapurna, Indrasabha, Rameshwar, Narayanswami Mahara, Jyotiba and Temlai Bai mandir.

Festivals of Mahalakshmi Temple Kolhapur

Every Friday night, around 9:30 PM, Palki of Mahalakshmi goes around the mandir. I missed attending this, but hopefully, I will get to go there again, soon. Some prominent festivals celebrated here are:

Navaratri

Being a Devi Mandir, Navaratri is the biggest festival here. For 9 days during Ashwin or Sharad Navaratri is full of celebrations. The daily Alankar of the Devi is grand. A palki procession takes places every evening.

Navratri Decorations

On the 5th day of the Navratri, called Lalita Panchami, Devi visits Tryambuli Bai mandir located few km away. This is her annual visit to her sister. On the way she stops at Shahu mill where she is offered Puja. The local ruler called Chhatrapati offers her a symbolic sacrifice by cutting a pumpkin with a sword in the presence of a Kanya.

On Ashtami or the 8th day of Navratri, she is offered a one cannon salute. This tradition was started by Rani Tarabai – the daughter-in-law of Chhatrapati Shivaji. After this, she goes around the town in a Palki and is offered Paan-Supari and other things like Sari, flowers, Puja.

Kironatsav

The Kolhapur Mahalakshmi temple is so designed that twice a year, the sun rays fall on the Murti.

On 31st Jan and 9th Nov – Sun rays fall on the feet of Mahalakshmi 1st Feb & 10th Nov – Sun rays fall on the middle of the Murti On 2nd Feb & 11th Nov – Sun rays fall on the entire body of the deity

This is the engineering marvel here.

At Vidyashankara Temple in Sringeri too, the sun rays fall as per the movement of the sun through 12 zodiac signs depicted on different pillars.

Rathotsav

In April, the Utsav murti of Mahalakshmi goes on a ride on her chariot. There is a golden Palki that is worth seeing.

Markets around

Outside the mandir, there were shops selling colorful Saris, bangles, jewelry, coconut and bunches of Lotus flowers, to be offered to the Goddess.

In the evening, the lanes around are full of eateries and hawkers selling all kinds of Kolhapuri street food.

Kolhapuri Saaj

The jewelry of Mahalakshmi can be seen here on the official website. You can buy the same jewelry in imitation, in silver or in gold in the lanes around.

I spent an evening looking at all kinds of jewelry that was made using small coins with Mahalakshmi in it. Some are made using coral beads adding a bright color to the gold. Some are made with small balls of gold. There were pendants with Mahalakshmi on it.

I saw a lot of women buying their Mangalsutras here along with something with the goddess on it. After all, she is the giver of prosperity and jewelry is the ultimate sign of auspicious prosperity.

Other Devi Temples

Kolhapur is a town dominated by Devi Temples. Let us visit them one by one.

Just like the three main deities are present in the Mahalakshmi temple complex, the three deities are also present in the city.

Mahakali Temple

Mahakali Sanctum

If you walk towards Rankala, roughly a kilometer down the road you will find an arch on your left. Enter the narrow lane and you will find a small but ancient temple on your left. I discovered this by chance while walking around the city.

We saw an ancient Murti of Mahakali. Again we got lucky as the Abhishek was going on and we could see the Vigrah in its original form.

Next to it is a smaller mandir with Rasai Devi in it. I could not gather much about her.

Renuka Devi Temple

Sri Renuka Devi Murti

Renuka Devi who is a form of Mahasaraswati is located on the other side. It is small but very interesting one. It has a smaller mandir dedicated to Parshuram who is the son of Renuka & Rishi Jamdagni. Another one is dedicated to Matangi Devi.

Renuka-Jamdagni Wedding Invite

Renuka Devi here is believed to be a form of Yellama Devi too.

I discovered an interesting ritual here. Celebrating the wedding of Renuka and Jamadagni. A board outside announced an open invitation for the wedding that was due in a few days.

Tulja Bhawani Mandir at Bhawani Mandap

Bhawani Mandap is the old Palace. Tulja Bhawani is the Kuldevi or the family deity of the royal family of the region. Her mandir continues to be in the old palace premises through the palace itself moved to a new palace in Kolhapur.

The open courtyard is where I got to see Dand Patta or the martial arts by the Maratha women during my earlier trip to the city. Watch the video:

youtube

Triambuli or Temlai Devi Temple

This is a small one located a few kilometers away. This is the mandir that goddess Mahalakshmi visits of Lalita Panchami or 5th day of the Navratri.

Triambuli Devi Mandir

The story goes that when Mahalakshmi was fighting asura Kolhasur, she was assisted by the daughter of the ruler here. However, after the fight was over, Devi forgot about her and the girl was annoyed. So, Devi visited her and blessed her that she would be worshipped in Kolhapur. She also promised that she would pay an annual visit to her mandir. The tradition continues.

Triambuli or Temlai Devi Idol

Triambuli Devi or Temlai as she is fondly called is treated as the younger sister of Mahalakshmi.

There is also a mandir dedicated to Magai Devi close by.

Kapileshwar or Kapil Tirth Mandir

Ancient Kapileshwar Mandir or Sri Kapil Tirth

Not too far, there is a Mandi or the vegetable market. We walked into the market just out of curiosity or maybe some divine forces led us to it. We discovered a small but ancient Kapileshwar Mandir here. Standing on typical Chalukyan pillars it is an ancient Shiva temple.

Later, at the town hall museum, we discovered many artifacts that have been discovered from an excavation that was carried out in this complex. We also learned that the market is at a place where the temple tank used to be.

In fact, all the temple tanks of the city no longer exist.

Sri Yantra Carved on a Linga at Town Hall Museum in Kolhapur

My biggest discovery was a Sri Yantra carved on the Yoni like a Shivalinga usually is. This is a unique carving that I have not seen anywhere else.

At the museum, I realized how big pilgrimage center or Shakti Khsetra of the city must have been at some point in time.

Travel Tips

The city is well connected with big cities like Pune and Mumbai. It is also well connected by train and bus network

There are ample hotels in Kolhapur city. Sayaji is the only luxury hotel I know of. We stayed at Maratha Residency and it was a decent place to stay within a reasonable budget.

Mahalakshmi Temple opens for visitors at 4:30 AM and remains open till 9:30 PM or so.

No photography is allowed inside the premises. You can take the structure from a distance.

There are shops inside as well as outside the Mandir where you can buy Puja items. It gets very crowded, especially on Fridays and festival days.

Other temples are open from morning to evening. They were practically empty with the countable number of people when I visited.

The post Mahalakshmi Temple – Jewel Among Kolhapur Temples appeared first on Inditales.

1 note · View note

ciathyzareposts · 6 years ago

Text

Pimax 5K+ Impressions – The First of the Second Generation of VR

In case you haven’t figured it out, I am a Virtual Reality enthusiast. I’ve been looking forward to the coming of consumer-level Virtual Reality since the early 90s. I expected it a lot sooner than it got here, to be honest, but I’m glad it’s here now. I love that I get to work with it as part of my day job. Anyway, I have been willing to sink a bit of cash into it this hobby… to the extent that I pre-ordered a Pimax 5K+. Offering about the highest resolution out there and 170+ degrees of field-of-view, it seemed like a game-changer for PC-based VR.

My headset arrived a few weeks ago. Due to crazy work hours, I haven’t had as much time to play with it as I’d like, but I thought I’d share my impressions so far. The company and the PiTool software are still kind of young, so there’s plenty of room for both to grow. In fact, that’s probably the first alarm bell you should be hearing: There’s always a chance that one big disruption could cause the company and all its support of this product to disappear tomorrow. It’s no longer a “boutique” product, IMO, and has been growing to meet demand. My pre-order took months to arrive, but I understand that lately people have been getting their orders within 3-4 weeks. So… it’s improving.

Since it arrived, there have been a ton of announcements of new and impressive VR headsets for 2019. I’m going to state for the record that I’m calling this the second generation of VR hardware. Yes, annoyed pundits have their own list of demands for second-generation hardware, a bunch of revolutionary changes, but I call tough toenails. It is what it is, and the latest stuff coming out is definitely pretty exciting. I count the new Pimax headsets to be the first of this new generation. For the next couple of years, you’ll be able to treat yourself to much higher resolution, bigger field of view, inside-out tracking without the need of external sensors, untethered (or standalone) use, lighter weights, foveated rendering with eye-tracking, and improved frame rates for cleaner tracking. The problem is… I don’t know of any system coming out that will give you all of the above (or even a significant subset of the above), at least not at a consumer price-point.

Unfortunately, it’s hard to describe a VR experience. You can’t even show videos, really, that capture the experience properly. All I can do is offer comparisons and hope that it works.

Construction / Appearance: Construction feels a little more rugged than the Oculus Rift, but not as solid as the Vive / Vive Pro. It’s lightweight, though, in spite of its wide size and beefy lenses – less than the original Vive, I think. Anyway, I dig the LED Cylon-looking thing across the front. Maybe it makes me look less dorky or less like a hammerhead shark when I’m wearing it, but honestly, I don’t care. While it looks weird, it works. All is good.

Fit / Comfort: The strap that comes with the Pimax 5K+ is… well, functional. Kinda like the strap that shipped with the original Vive. I ordered some 3D-printed adapters for less than $10 that allowed me to hook up my Vive Deluxe Audio Strap to my Pimax, and it worked GREAT. I mean, really…. it feels like it belongs there. Pimax is coming out with their own version of the DAS for the Pimax, but I have a tough time imagining that it’ll be any better than this. I keep saying the Deluxe Audio Strap is a “must buy” for the original Vive, and it holds true here, too. With the strap, the Pimax is plenty comfy.

Some caveats, however: If you wear glasses in VR, you’ll need some thicker padding and adjustments to make it work right. Also, it seems to me that you really need to dial in your inter-pupillary distance (IPD) pretty closely… it’s not as tolerant as most headsets to being off by a couple of millimeters. If you don’t do this, you’ll probably see double and feel some eye strain after a while.

I’ve played for up to 90 minutes at a time with no significant feeling of eye strain or discomfort.

Setup: Getting things working with my computer is always a little bit of a chore, requiring software installation, reboots, etc. However, once it was set up, everything worked and kept working. Sometimes VR is finicky. The Pimax (currently) requires Lighthouse base stations (for position tracking) and controllers only available from HTC, which is great for an upgrade from the Vive, but not so great for new owners. However, Pimax is supposed to have both available really soon now, if they aren’t already.

Image Quality: Okay, here’s the biggest part – how are the visuals? In a word, fantastic. But you probably want more. Compared to the early 1st generation headsets, they are amazing. Compared to, say, the Vive Pro (which I have available for comparison), I think they aren’t quite as good. The LED display isn’t quite as bright and vivid, and the vertical resolution is about 10% smaller (1440 instead of the Vive Pro’s 1600). The horizontal resolution for the nearest 110 degrees (the standard FOV of headsets today, including the Vive Pro) is as good or better. The images do seem a little bit sharper than on the Vive Pro, and the screen door effect is hardly noticeable for me.

Of course, the selling point of the Pimax 5K+ is the wide field-of-view (FOV). It does not disappoint. The software allows three display modes: Small, Normal, and Large. Small FOV is about the usual 110 degrees that other headsets offer. If your game is having a really tough time running at higher resolutions at a decent frame rate, try this. “Normal” offers about 150 degrees of horizontal FOV, and it’s fantastic. “Large” opens up an extra 10 degrees on either side, giving you 170 degrees of horizontal FOV (they advertise 200 degrees “diagonal” FOV, which is a bizarre way to measure it that only marketing schmucks could come up with). Honestly, the difference between “Normal” and “Large” is hardly noticeable, and that last sliver is a little distorted by the lenses anyway. It’s really just good for catching stuff in the extremes of your peripheral vision. However, I didn’t notice a big difference in frame-rate for the large FOV, either, running on an RTX 2080Ti. So… YMMV. I may switch to “Large” mode in the future, but right now I’m extremely happy with Normal mode.

Normal Mode captures most of what your eyes see. You no longer feel like you are wearing blinders. It’s more like ski goggles than scuba goggles. This makes it much easier to “check six” in a flight simulator, or to catch a glimpse of bad guys attacking you from the sides in a shooter. Some people say they can’t go back after experiencing the wider FOV for a while. I don’t have that problem, but it really is nice. The higher resolution and sharp image quality make it easier to read the instrument panel in a flight sim, or to spot the details in Skyrim VR.

Looking at hard numbers: The original Vive and Oculus Rift offer 1080 x 1200 resolution per eye. The Vive Pro offers 1440 x 1600 resolution per eye… about a 75% improvement in resolution. The Pimax 5K+ has up to 2560 x 1440 resolution per eye – 184% better resolution than the original Rift and Vive, and about 60% larger than the Vive Pro… but it’s also spread out over a 55% wider field of view.

Software / Tuning: The Pimax 5K+ is compatible with SteamVR. I haven’t found anything that doesn’t work yet. However, you do need to run support software called “PiTool”. There are a lot of things to tweak here, in addition to the options inside SteamVR, in order to get the performance optimal for your tastes. Tweaking stuff in PiTool requires a restart of SteamVR for many of the changes to take effect. One of the most annoying issues is that a lot of older VR programs require the “Compatible with Parallel Projection” option to be activated. This forces a slower rendering system to avoid seeing double, and it’s a significant hit to performance. Unity games and the newest Unreal games don’t require this option (and, happily, neither does DCS). Sadly, IL-2 Sturmovik does require this option, and I can’t get a solid 90 fps anymore in this game. Still, I’m generally ranging near 80, so it’s not terrible.

Other options include changing the field of view, modifying the brightness of the display, enabling their own version of Motion Smoothing (“Smart Smoothing,” which I don’t like as much as the one for the Vive), allowing “hidden areas” to be left unrendered (which can sometimes be noticed in the periphery of your version, but increases performance), changing the frame rate target (to sacrifice max FPS for a smoother frame rate… very important) and a bit more. One size might not fit all games — particularly with Smart Smoothing and parallel projection compatibility. However, I like that they enable so many options to try and get the optimum performance / quality balance.

Overall: The VR landscape is about to get a bit more complicated, but as of right now, I’d say the Pimax is an excellent upgrade to the original Vive, if you have a machine beefy enough to keep up. You can keep your Lighthouse sensors and your controllers, and even keep your Deluxe Audio Strap if you have one. Put the original Vive in a box to remember it fondly, and rock on to the new, higher-resolution, wide-FOV new world. I consider it an upgrade over the Vive Pro, but not nearly as significant. The positives and negatives in the differences in visual quality probably balance each other out. The Pro has a wireless adapter allowing untethered gaming, but the wide FOV of the Pimax is a huge improvement.

If you do not already own the Vive “Lighthouse” base stations and controllers, it is a far more expensive system (even before you consider the costs of the PC). Pretty much the cost of a Vive Pro.

Is the high resolution and wide FOV a game-changer? Not exactly, but for some games it really makes a tremendous difference (especially flight sims). I think foveated rendering doesn’t make much sense until you go outside the 110 degree FOV window. It’s a big enough deal that my next VR upgrade a few years down the road will have to offer a similarly wide FOV. Nothing announced so far is giving me any semblance of buyer’s remorse. If I didn’t already own the Pimax, I might be looking very closely at the upcoming HP Reverb or the Vive Cosmos. Then, I still might choose the Pimax.

I think it probably represents the hardware limits of graphics cards for the next few years, and unless you really MUST have an untethered experience or the absolute bear minimum of Screen Door Effect, I think this headset looks like something that will grow with me for several years.

source http://reposts.ciathyza.com/pimax-5k-impressions-the-first-of-the-second-generation-of-vr/

#retro games #dos games #retro #crpg #adventure #amiga #oldcomputers #8bit #16bit #blog #repost

0 notes

rissaroundtheworld · 8 years ago

Text

The Journey to Colombia: How a One Day Trip Turned into Four, and All of the Rules We Broke Along the Way

It feels like we just arrived in San Blas, but here we are in Cartagena, Colombia. This trip is one of both personal necessity and immigration law evasion: Nate recently invested in some property in Medellin and needed to oversee the final stages of the renovation, and I decided that would be the perfect opportunity to go back home and see my family and friends. Seems like a simple idea, but this is Panama! Land of beautiful beaches and nonsensical rules. The country recently introduced a law stating that foreigners must leave the country every six months, and that when we leave, we must stay out for a month. This is incredibly inconvenient when you're operating a semi-illegal business (1) in said country. But, we decided to make the best of it and get some (actual) sailing and some new adventures under our belt. I'll briefly describe our original plan, and then go into detail on exactly how this all changed, how we're now 4+ days into this journey, and I will even number all of the rules we broke while doing so (see #1 above).

THE ORIGINAL PLAN (OP) We wrapped up our final charter, a really really fun group who indulged my love of Bananagrams and also brought me sliced bread. At this point, this (or ice cream) may be the way into my icy cold heart. We spent a few days regrouping, during which we mostly ate leftovers, didn't wash dishes, and watched a ridiculous amount of my new favorite show, Qi. Our plan was as follows: knock off a few "must-do" items prior to leaving, including laundry, obtaining food (don't mistake this for grocery shopping, that would give you a false impression of the ridiculous lengths we go to to get food here), doing a few things on the internet, and getting our exit paperwork: a small but very important document called a Zarpe. The Zarpe (the only item on this list that absolutely could not be skipped) would be obtained on an island in northern San Blas called Por Venir, and from there we would sail directly across the ocean to Cartagena, Colombia. The trip would be non stop for about 36 hours, and when we arrived we would immediately go out to eat and I wouldn't cook the food and I wouldn't do the dishes and we would walk on solid ground and maybe I would even wear pants. Maybe. Easy, yeah! ... no.

Day 0: Gringos love the internet

While we were regrouping, we were fairly close to Por Venir (the check out point), but we REALLY needed to do some internet work (part of which was looking at the weather to know exactly when to leave), and so we decided to make the half day sail down to Green Island, where we knew we could (usually) get 3G. A quick note on Panamanian internet: first of all, 3G is a real luxury that should not be taken for granted (don't even begin to dream about 4G you goofballs.) Secondly, the cell phone plans here are different than those in the states. You pay per gigabyte by purchasing cards with a certain value associated with them. If you're running low you can sign onto the internet and re-up, but if you run out entirely... you're completely screwed because, guess what, you don't have internet! A stellar business model if I've ever heard of one. We've always felt pretty safe as we have 3 devices on board: two phones and a small wireless device which takes the same sim card. When one runs out, one of the others saves the day. But, fairly quickly into our stay in San Blas, Nate's phone decided to pull a Chris Cornell (too soon?!?) and is no longer with us. And as you may have gleaned by now... phone stores are DEFINITELY not a thing here here. So, down to 2 devices. A few days before our charter guests arrived, our wifi device decided to lock our account. Now our gringo-born thirst for internet was residing entirely in the hands (case?) of my little iPhone 5S. We sailed far away from the checkout point, signed online... and realized my phone was out of data. Zero devices. We both sat in front of our respective electronics repeating back and forth "hey mine's not working, is yours?" "You're taking up too much data, sign off so I can send this email." "Is Instagram really that important right now?" "Raise your phone up the mast, it probably just needs to be higher." Until, finally, we had to accept our fate: an internet-free evening. A box of wine and a kayak trip masked our frustration, and the next day we decided to backtrack entirely and just begin the process of checking out.

Day 1, take 1: Getting a Zarpe in a really hot place I'm not entirely sure how much of our previous experiences were illegal, but we had to rewrite our alibi for when we met with the migration officer, so I have reason to believe we've been a bit naughty. (2) I chose not to inquire too far into this. Luckily, when being asked difficult and important questions by a foreign official in another country, you can play the language barrier card! When he asked how long we've been here, I stared blankly and said "uhhh... no entiendo?" He seemed satisfied with my response. (3) We laid out our passports, all the necessary documents, and requested our Zarpe. My blank stare was promptly returned to me and the officer said that they no longer issued Zarpes. He pointed to a door which had cleared once said "maritime migration (migración marítima)" but had been hastily painted over with a nearly sheer coat of white paint. He explained to us that the migration officials found Por Venir to be too hot... so they left. You read that correctly. An official government organization (in a tropical country close to the equator!) closed their doors due to heat. Oh, Panama. The migration officer laid out our options for us. Option 1: backtrack another 50+ miles to Puerto Lindo, a fairly disgusting place which we had already visited, get our Zarpe, and then head straight across to Colombia from there. Option 2: rather than sail directly across the ocean to Cartagena, we could first sail south to the Panamanian/Colombia border (think Darien Gap! Yay human trafficking!), obtain our Zarpe there (he said he was PRETTY sure we could, but wouldn't commit 100%), and then sail north to Cartagena. Essentially taking the tangent of a triangle rather than the hypotenuse (I've been kind of bored and reading an Applied Physics book). Option 3: Roll the dice and head to Colombia without a Zarpe, and deal with the repercussions when we get there. The migration officer seemed particularly excited about option 3 and kept suggesting we try while grinning and shrugging his shoulders, but for some strangely rational reason we opted for option two. A new place, a new adventure(!!), and a longer but more broken up trip.

Day 1, take 2: An uneventful journey to the middle of nowhere

The second first day of our journey was incredibly unusual. What I mean by that is, nothing went wrong. We woke up on time. We made a healthy breakfast while the sun was rising, and as soon as we had a little light we headed out. We had some wind. When we didn't, the engines cooperated. The weather was beautiful, the journey was long (12 hours) but pretty, and we reached our destination, Los Pinos, just before sunset. We caught a great tuna on the way, and we had some cheese that needed to go soon, so we enjoyed some perfectly seared tuna with a side of disgustingly unhealthy mac and cheese. Balance, right?

Days 2 and 3: To Zarpe or not to Zarpe

Day 2 began with a bang, literally. Our intentions to wake up early were aided by a small and yet unresolved bug issue. The actual event is still unclear, but it resulted in two grown adults flailing around a tiny bedroom, jumping and throwing things and falling into doors. We might have bruises, and in true Nomad form minimal clothes were involved. I truly wish I could have been a fly (or the potential cockroach in question) on a wall for this one. The perp was never found and we quickly realized that going back to bed was not an option, so we pulled up the anchor and headed out around 4 am. Our destination was Puerto Obaldia, where we were prepared to either get our Zarpe or decide how many more immigration laws we were willing to roll the dice on. This leg was only about 6 hours and I spent four of them asleep on the couch, so it felt like we arrived there in the blink of an eye! Now was the tricky part: could we get a Zarpe? The conversation with migration in Por Venir was entirely in Spanish, and though we're both pretty good, there is always a risk of miscommunication. There's also always a risk that we heard correctly, but the migration officer didn't actually know/wasn't telling the truth/just didn't actually care (the last being most likely). Finally, it was Sunday, - would it even be open, or would all of Panama be observing the Sabbath!? We pulled up to the dock and walked around what felt like a seriously hopping town compared to what we've been used to, which means there were actual people and restaurants with chairs and probably menus, and even a store or two! What would we ever do!? But we were there to conduct business, so we walked directly to migration. The office was very clearly closed, so we asked the locals whether it was permanently closed, just closed because it was Sunday, or if the officials were maybe just taking a siesta. They yelled across to a restaurant (walls here are lacking), and we were delighted to hear that they would be opening in just a few hours. Apparently, migration only opens when a plane is arriving, or sometimes whenever they feel like it, but we luckily showed up on a flight-friendly day (where they fit an airport on this tiny island is still an unsolved mystery). We decided to sit down at the restaurant and grab a beer to celebrate possibly being able to continue our arduous journey. At this point, we were sure of one thing: we were not turning back. If they wouldn't issue us a Zarpe, we were going to go for option 3: just head to Colombia and hope we could bribe the officials into letting us in without arresting us (4). We sat down for a beer (which they didn't have), and immediately a Panamanian man sat down next to us. He said "I think I can help you" and slapped a badge down in front of us that said "migración marítima." Would this man give us our Zarpe?! We were skeptical, but it seemed like this might be our guy. Anyone with a badge has to be legit, right? The badge carrying "official" suggested that we let a small child take all of our important, irreplaceable documents to go make copies, which of course we agreed to. She returned and charged us $2 for about 5 pieces of paper, little nina hustler. The "officer" then suggested we follow the reggaeton music which was reverberating throughout the entire island if we wanted a beer (they were NOT observing the Sabbath), so we did. We enjoyed a few Balboas and lost at least a small amount of hearing while watching the clearly intoxicated locals groove/fall all over the place. Growing impatient, we took our beers over to the migration officer and asked if he would just help us now. Surprisingly, he agreed, and opened the migration office for us. We continued to enjoy our beverages while paying for an alarming amount of stamps. The only question the officer had for us (me) was "eres un actriz?" (Are you an actress?) to which I responded "no" and we both moved on. Finally, over a million(ish) stamps later we were handed our paperwork. The next step was to bring some paperwork over to the machine gun-wielding military police, where they would continue to add to our stamp collection and then inspect our boat. Though we had nothing to hide (....5?), we were hoping that we wouldn't have to deal with them pulling apart the boat and leaving us to put it back together. We had another country to get to!

The two officers jumped in the dingy and we drove them to Nomad. Upon arrival, we politely asked them to remove their shoes as we don't wear shoes on the boat. The plainclothes officer was happy to oblige, but the officer in full military regalia said he couldn't take his shoes off. Since he was military we assumed he was just going to come and dirty our floors, but instead he chose to stay in the dingy and simply ignore his work obligations (6). We rewarded him with some tuna (7?). The plainclothes officer boarded the boat, looked at absolutely nothing, then began to pry into our personal lives. Where we were from? Were we married? What were our full names so we could be friends on Facebook? (I am not kidding) Pleased with the acquisition of my WhatsApp number and two new social media contacts, he thanked us, told us to get married, and then left. And thus, our formal exit of Panama was successful. This was now early afternoon, and we had decided to relax and not sail the following day. Our current anchorage in front of Puerto Obaldia was not terribly inviting, and we knew there was a better island right around the corner.... but around the corner was Colombia. And there wasn't a check-in point, so technically, we were illegally crossing the border. Luckily, we both like to live dangerously, so on day 3 we spent 24+ hours unaccounted for in the country of Colombia, exploring the funky little area called Sapzurro (8). We hoped to find internet to check the weather, but this was clearly not an option here. We settled for ice cream and a beer (we've now switched from Balboa to Club Colombia), and enjoyed these luxuries while watching a bunch of Colombian toddlers grooving with moves I can't even dream of having. A miscommunication lead to me being left alone in Sapzurro while Nate had the dingy, which helped me semi accomplish my goal of hitchhiking! I won't give boat hitchhiking the same merit as with a car, but I did put myself at the mercy of a group of Argentinians (hi Pablo!) who kindly brought me back to my own boat just before I began to get nervous. Inspired by our time in town, we listened to the full Shaggy album before going to bed early to prepare for our final and longest leg of the trip.

Day 4: The final countdown

Day four was my day of most trepidation. We expected at least a full 24 hour sail, and due to the lack of internet/basic civilized things in Sapzurro, we weren't entirely sure of the weather. The only overnight sail I had participated in was from Bocas del Toro to Puerto Lindo, and there were a total of 5 people on the boat. We each took two hours shifts overnight, meaning only one shift each, but we were all still miserable by the next morning. Someone left the Hozier album on repeat for 2 straight shifts, and though I think its a great album, "Take Me To Church" now makes me want to throw myself into the depths of the ocean. This time, we only had the two of us to make it through the long night. Luckily, we had a LOT of daylight thanks to our 5 AM alarm (no one will believe me, but I've actually been waking up early nearly everyday! Its a whole new me!) We began our venture up the coast of Colombia, still very much illegal aliens. (9) Living on the edge! Entertainment options on the boat while on passage are fairly limited, so the goal is to fish. We "troll" - I always thought this meant the laborious process of obtaining every ounce of someone's personal information on the internet, but apparently it also means dragging fishing lines behind your boat. Neither of these things have anything to do with actual trolls, which I still find bothersome. About halfway through the day one of the lines started ripping, and for some still unknown reason Nate suggested I reel it in. Let me give you a quick run-down on my fishing experience: Prior to this new boat life, I had fished zero times ever. On our first passage, I was asked to reel in one of the lines to check for weeds. There was a tuna on my line, and I was so inexperienced that I didn't know until it was practically hanging off the edge of my rod. This should teach you that A) I don't know a goddamn thing about fishing, and B) this was now how I expected all fishing to be. As usual... joke’s on me. The fish on this line was a mother-effing marlin! As I began to reel it in it jumped out of the water, and I was pretty sure it was either a whale or an alien spacecraft. Nate estimated it to be 400 lbs or so. Surprisingly, he continued to deem me capable of reeling it in, and I fought this thing with everything I had (which was not impressive whatsoever). When I started really struggling, I was given the job of driving the boat while Nate pulled the fish in... an equally questionable distribution of power. The privileges one receives when there are no better alternatives! We hoped to get the marlin close enough to the boat to get a picture and we came really, really close, but we lost him in the last minute. About 30 minutes later, we rinsed and repeated. Let me just say - my right arm got a serious workout today!

Finally we nailed ourselves another tuna, so I think its fair to say we'll be devouring sushi in the near future. The rest of the ride was, once again, uneventful. The bat shit amazing seasickness patch that our prior guest Kristin shared with me (THANK YOU KRISTIN) was a complete lifesaver - turns out when you're not curled up in a ball of agony, sailing is actually quite fun! (Sidenote: currently seeking individuals with low co-pays to commit insurance fraud and get me more, any takers!?) The only thing better than traveling to a new place is being able to do it in your home. No need to pack, just bring it all! So I relaxed, did some leisure reading, continued my study of applied physics, made some hemp bracelets, ate a lot of food because there wasn't much else to do, took catnaps for the same reason, and marveled at the beautiful night with a super bright moon.

We saw dolphins and whales, zero other human beings, took 2-3 hour night shifts which felt like forever... but we made it. We're exhausted, cranky, and sweltering in this heat (we both agreed that we miss the temperatures in San Blas, which are generally in the mid nineties and 70+% humidity - that should say a lot). We have a lot of work to do while we're here, but have built in plenty of time for play - Cartagena is a really fun city with lots to do (and 3G everywhere!!!!) So adios for now my friends, but thanks to being in civilization - talk soon!!

1 note · View note

perhapsthevision · 8 years ago

Text

ok I don’t think there are any security questions in here so why not

Tagged by my sister @prodigaldaughteralice. Also, tumblr is bizarrely laggy so now I'm typing long posts in a text editor like it's 2005...

1. Coke or Pepsi: I don't actually dislike cola any more, but I also don't drink it enough to have an opinion or be able to tell the difference. Anyway, I'm white so I can hand anything to a cop and be okay :p

2. Disney or Dreamworks: I can't tell if Dreamworks actually hasn't made anything good lately, or if knocking Dreamworks has just become a meme. But their old stuff was good. Disney always makes a few really good things, and then a lot of dreck. But I kind of resent them from keeping anything from passing into the public domain, as long as their lawyers have money.

3. Coffee or Tea: I probably drink more coffee per day, but tea is the one I have opinions about. I drink coffee with a lot of milk and am just looking for something that doesn't taste nasty; tea we keep a lot of varieties of and pick based on how we're feeling.

4. Books or Movies: In the abstract I tend to prefer books, but I enjoy both.

5. Windows or Mac: I typically prefer Apple stuff and my primary computer will probably always be a Mac. But it is one of my someday goals to build a PC to act as a media/game center.

6. DC or Marvel: I'm not that invested but I think there's more Marvel stuff I like.

7. X-box or Playstation: I've always had Playstation consoles but I have nothing in particular against the XBox line that I know of.

8. Dragon Age or Mass Effect: I stopped playing DA:I when I learned Cassandra was straight and I've never had access to the ME line of games. But I'd still give this to ME since my partner loves them and he's showed me hilarious stuff from them.

9. Night Owl or Early Riser: I really enjoy being up late, sleeping, and being up early, so I think my chronotype is officially "gets all her sleep in a time machine". But when I was really little I was a super early riser and I wouldn't be surprised if my body eventually shifts back toward that.

10. Cards or Chess: There's a running joke about me hating chess but I'm not that into card games either.

11. Chocolate or Vanilla: Chocolate for most purposes but my test of an ice cream brand is whether or not they can make a really good cream or vanilla.

12. Vans or Converse: I haven't really found either to be supportive enough for me to wear.

13. Lavallan, Trevelyan, Cadash, or Adaar: Apparently this is a DA thing?

14. Fluff or Angst: I don't really like either if it's just that and no plot. But I guess I'd go with fluff because lately I don't like even very good media that are just All About Pain.

15. Beach or Forest: Forest, but the beach can be beautiful too.

16. Dogs or Cats: I prefer cats but dogs are pretty great. If I had a giant house with a big yard I'd give my cat his own personal army of large dogs to ride into battle.

17. Clear Skies or Rain: I've lived somewhere really rainy for eight years and I loved it, especially since I'm light sensitive and sunburn super easily, but lately I've been really into clear skies for weird psychological reasons. (OK, not that weird: someone I care about a lot passed away and then we kept having storms and rain.)

18. Cooking or Eating Out: I make the majority of the food we eat, and lately I've been trying to spend more of our food budget on good food to cook and less on going out to eat, but there's a great food scene here so I really do enjoy going to restaurants and food carts.

19. Spicy Food or Mild: I like it when the person at the spice store is like "it scares me that you're buying this"

20. Halloween/Samhain or Solstice/Yule/Christmas: Christmas is my favorite holiday. My family tends to come together and most of us have time off from work to spend together, and then we get to both give and receive presents, and the cookies are good. Kids don't come by where I live and I was never into Halloween parties, so Halloween kind of fell off after I got too old to trick or treat myself.

21. Little too cold or little too hot: Little too cold -- but lots too hot.

22. Superpower: There are others that would do more good in the world but for myself, flight or time travel.

23. Animation or Live Action: There are a lot more live action things than animated things, so it seems unfair to compare them.

24. Paragon or Renegade: Like I said I haven't played ME so I never had to pick. In general, I usually want to play evil as amoral/practical, and way too many games instead present save puppies vs kick puppies, which pisses me off. Also, when it seems like you're picking good for less reward vs evil for more, but you KNOW that good gives you a better reward down the line, it really saps the meaningfullness of the choice.

25. Bath or Showers: On a daily basis showers are way more practical. I do like a nice bath now and then especially if my muscles are achy, but our tub isn't really deep enough to get comfortable. Also I get bored in the bath and have to listen to music or something.

26. Team Cap or Team Ironman: No, you move! Which is weird because I otherwise find Iron Man a way more interesting character.

27. Fantasy or Sci-Fi: Lately I've been picking up more sci fi but I don't have a hard preference.

28. Fav Quotes: I could make a post at least this long with random quotes I like.

29. Youtube or Netflix: They fill pretty different roles though I know YouTube is trying to get into the business of movies/tv and original content.

30. Harry Potter or Percy Jackson: Harry Potter was a generational thing, Percy Jackson came out after I was too old for it.

31. When I Feel Accomplished: When something works out, particularly if I get praise for something I've been trying very hard to do. Lately I got praise for my coding style and was told that I'm personable and easy to work with, and both of those made me really happy because I've been putting particular effort into them.

32. Star Wars or Star Trek: There's a special place in my heart for the original SW trilogy but there's much more of the Star Trek verse that I'm into.

33. Paperback Books or Hardback: I usually buy paperbacks because they're cheaper and easier to carry around, but really beautiful hardbacks are cool as art objects, and more durable.

34. A world without literature or music: Would probably mean some fundamental change in the psychology of humans. Even dictatorships tend to have state-produced art to use to control the people. I don't think it's sustainable to have humans and not have some of them trying to make art.

35. Who was the last person to make me laugh: My cat being cute. Are you gonna tell him he's not a person?

36. Sour or Sweet Candy: Sweet, I've never gotten the point of sour candies.

37. Believe in aliens?: There is probably some form of life somewhere but I have no reason to believe it's interacted with or been exposed to us.

38. Dawn or Dusk: Probably dawn, but I see a lot more of dusk.

39. Piercings or Tattoos: I see more people with a lot of tattoos that I think look good, than people with a lot of piercings that I think look good, but that is my personal aesthetics and obviously nobody made that choice to appeal to me. I have pierced ears and want to get a (particular) tattoo on either my wrist or ankle someday but it keeps getting pushed down the priority list.

40. Girls? Hot?: Is this a choice or a song reference or ...?

41. Snow or Fog: I have a thing about snow because snow shut my city down repeatedly over the winter to a downright embarrassing extent and it probably accelerated the wear on my car. In a city with decent infrastructure I'd dig snow. Fog is pretty until you have to drive in it.

42. Sleep facing the wall or room: I share a bed so I always sleep facing the outside of the bed, I don't care which side I'm on.

43. TRC of AFTG: All Google tells me is this is some series I've never heard of

44. Horror or Drama: In terms of movie classifications, drama. But again it's much broader.

45. Orcarina of Time or Majora’s Mask: I haven't played either, the only Nintendo products I ever had were DSes

46. Living in nature or city: I think about this a lot, nature appeals to me but I can't actually handle living in a remote area.

47. Any addictions: TBH this is a weird question to put on a lighthearted quiz, like it's written only expecting caffeine and "lol this fandom pairing" answers but it's actually very personal information?

48. Languages: English natively. Still pretty good at Japanese though I'm a bit shy about actually using it any more. I can passively understand some Mandarin but I don't tend to speak it myself because I probably couldn't keep up with a conversation. (Though I feel like a donk because people speak Mandarin around me a lot and I feel like they should know I understand like 60% of their conversation?) French and Latin didn't really stick at all. I can discuss who's making the coffee/tea in Korean and I'm trying to learn more, it's a goal of mine to get in a real class when I'm out of grad school.

49. What music do I listen to: I draw from a bunch of different genres, the core ones are probably indie rock, k-pop, and electronic. Then I tend to be picky about which artists I actually like. Since I got a streaming account I've been enjoying trying out a lot of new stuff.

50. Fav mythical creature: uh do mindflayers count?

51. Safe zone: My apartment I guess? That's where I can change into sweatpants and not feel self-conscious so let's go with that.

52. First fandom: I think it was Utena. That was definitely the first one I was really into and old enough for the internet for.

53. Cartoons or Adult Shows: No matter how you define cartoons there's way more "adult shows" than that, unless maybe you mean "adult" shows, in which case this question gets even odder.

54. Current music: Dishwasher Noises by My Old Tiny Dishwasher. It's an ambient classic AND gets most of the dishes mostly clean.

55. Favorite starter?: I'd better go with the one in my car so it doesn't get offended and act up. (Litten though.)

56. What would your witch’s familiar be? Maybe my cat, or maybe a floating land octopus. Or a hawk. But that might eat other people's familiars.

#perhapsthevision personal

1 note · View note

a-teamu-blog · 8 years ago

Text

Hwaiting - Prologue

4.5.2016, 9 pm

Korea,Seoul,BigBang`s changing room

The silence in the room while the members were getting out of their practicing clothing and into their normal clothes was suddenly interrupted by the muffled ringing of a phone. Daesung, currently pulling his shirt over his head, looked at the smaller man next him who was vacantly staring at one of the posters on the wall “Jiyong, that´s yours”, he reminded him. “Err...yeah, sure”, even said man quickly blinked and started to search through his stuff for his jeans where he had put his phone. “He looked as if he saw a naked woman”, Seungri grinned from the other side of the room. “Well, there actually is a naked women on the poster, if you haven´t noticed in the past few years, but...”, Seunghyun said but got interrupted by Youngbae; “As if he wouldn´t know that” “Shhh!”, Jiyong had found his phone, looking onto the display; “It´s the CEO” “Maybe Seungri got too many solo parts again”, Youngbae whispered, earning a muffled laugh from the others, except for their youngest member, who hit him with the next thing he could grab; in this case a shoe. The others just laughed even more but were shushed by their leader who was rolling his eyes and trying to stay serious, now accepting the phone call. “Annyeong? …Yes, we just had a dance practice, everything went pretty well...Uhm, no, actually not...Tomorrow already? For how long? ...Alright, thanks for letting me know...Ok, bye” Frowning he stuffed his phone into his pocket again. “Did anyone of you know about the new dancers?” “New dancers?”, the others echoed. “Yeah, seems like a group of five dancers from Germany will be here tomorrow and replace our current ones” “Tomorrow already? And why from Germany?”, Daesung asked, buckling his belt and sitting down on one of the couches. “Something like an exchange of background dancers between YG Entertainment and some universities and other institutes to get a littlebit more international and stuff. We should´ve known that before but somehow everybody forgot to tell us”, slightly annoyed he shrugged and sat down next to the other members on the couch. “Do Germans look good?”, was Seungri´s first question while typing something on his phone. “I don´t know...Seriously?!”, Jiyong, leaning over and looking at what he just searched on google, sighed; “I´m more worried about how they are supposed to learn all the choreography we already have till now...But Germans are said to be ambitious, right? Hopefully they won´t affect the upcoming concerts in any bad ways” “I don´t think so”, Daesung just said, shaking his head. After talking a bit about the news, Youngbae´s phone ringed. “Gotta go, see you tomorrow morning!” After a while the other members also went home, each one with different thoughts about the new dancers...

4:13 pm

Germany,Neumarkt i.d.Opf.

“Girls, I don´t understand a word, plus Skype´s a bitch again”, trying to fix the group chat she currently was in with the four other girls on Skype, Katja laughed at the awkwardly frozen videos of the others. “My computer nearly crashed a few minutes earlier, too”, Katha sighted “I gave up on having the videos on, I just turned them off, works better.”, Yana´s voice sounded muffled, she most likely got lost in the chaos of her closet. “ANNA, I found your socks! The pink ones, I mean. They were in the back of my closet!” “You did? Finally!”, suddenly Anna´s voice also was on her best friend´s end of the chat. “You seriously are both skyping even though you´re living in the same flat? Baka...”, Katja had to grin and finally the videos were working again. Yana was trying to throw the socks at Anna now but failed and not even hit her once, Katha was looking through her traveling documents again and checked if everything was there and Hanna held two pairs of pants in her hands, comparing them. “Shit!”, she suddenly frowned. “What is it?”, was immediately asked four times. “I forgot the Korean word for ´Pants”! Again! This can´t be true!”, she ruffled through her hair. “If you want one of the boys to take off his pants just do it by yourself without asking”, Yana suggested grinning while shoving Anna together with the pair of socks out of her room. “Wasn´t it ´baji´?”, Katja asked snickering. “Right, it was...Why do I keep forgetting this word? It can´t be that hard, can it?” “Don´t worry, your Korean is damn good! I mean, you´ve been learning the language for some years now, compared to us...Katja and Katha are also really good in understanding and speaking because of all these years as kPop-fans, but look at me or Anna. I started learning about two months ago, I just hope, I´ll manage to talk in a mixture between Japanese, English and Korean. And Anna...most likely started to learn some phrases just yesterday”, Yana calmed her down, putting her washbag into her suitcase and tried to close it while sitting down on top of it to condense the content. “Hey!”, Anna shouted but was interrupted by Katha; “We should talk about this at the airport. Our plane leaves in about four hours, so you should keep an eye on the clock to catch a train to Munich early enough” “Only four hours? Oh my gosh!” “We should end the chat and get ready then” “Yeah, we definitely should”, Katja nodded, looking through the leftover pieces of clothing in her dresser. “Wait, wait, wait! Do I see a red dress there?”, Katha asked, staring closely at the screen of her computer. “Uhm...yeah...but I´m not sure...” “Take it with you! Take it with you!”, suddenly also Hanna demanded. “If you say so...”, Katja mumbled and put the red leather dress into her hand luggage as she was too lazy to open her suitcase that had been completely packed for a whole week already. “However, I really need to go now, my train leaves in half an hour and I have to say goodbye to my family and stuff. Where are we gonna meet at the airport?” “I´d say, at the gate”, Yana suggested and the others nodded. “See you then!” “Gosh, I´m so excited...” “Same here” “Annyeong!” Several good-byes were said, then Katja quit the chat, switched off her laptop and put it into her backpack.

6:37 pm

Germany,Munich,Airport Gate C

Silently Hanna, Katha and Katja, who had already met by coincidence at the check-in, approached Anna and Yana, sitting with their backs to them and watching the planes take off and land in front of the big window, and quickly grabbed their shoulders. Letting out a shocked cry, the red-haired girl cringed heavily while her purple haired friend just laughed at all the people turning around to Yana´s loud cry. “You...you can´t just scare me like that!”, even said person complained but couldn´t help but laugh along with the others as the big hugging and greeting started. Finally, they sat down, nervously staring out of the window for a while and checking their social media. After a few minutes, everybody started to talk again at once, causing the five to laugh. “This is slowly gettin´ so real...” “Yeah...I really wonder how everything´s gonna be there...The people, the food and stuff, the language barrier, the dancing and especially BigBang...” “What if they´ll hate us or something?!” Once they had started to talk, they didn´t stop for the next hour, till the boarding of their flight was announced. “Whoop whoop, time for business class”, Anna grinned, waving around in the air with her ticket and got up to lead the others to the desk. Once they all were on the plane, time just seemed to fly away. They spent the first hour with battling each other through the on-board games, then the dinner was served but the excitement was just too big so they just barely ate anything and stuffed all the packaged food into their hand luggage. Then they tried to revise and learn a bit Korean and somehow ended up watching movies in Korean for a few hours. At some point Katja had fallen asleep, so the others tried to follow her example but they weren´t successful, so they listened to some kPop and eventually danced to Dope, Fantastic Baby and some other songs on the small space between the seats until a stewardess noticed it and asked them to sit down again. Silently laughing they did and even slept for a few hours. When they woke up one after one after some time, they decided it was time to eat something and ate the things they had put aside during dinner but as they were still hungry after that, they snuck some rolls from the nearby kitchen and had some sort of very late midnight snack. After that everyone spent the last few hours different until the breakfast was served and an announcement told them they would be landing soon which got them so excited that they nearly started to scream through the whole plane. They had been staring out of the windows for a few minutes when the plane´s wheels touched the ground which earned a cheer from the five girls. “We´re in Koreaaa!” Smiling like idiots they got off the plane and succeeded the process of arriving at the airport, staring wide-eyed at all the Korean writing and advertisement, listing fascinated to all the Korean that was suddenly spoken everywhere around them. They were picked up by a driver and driven to the hotel where they would stay for the first few days. In one hour they quickly showered, got into some nicer clothing and put on some make-up as they would soon meet Big Bang for the first time. It originally was planned that they would´ve met the CEO first but he was busy, so they would spend the afternoon with Big Bang and go back to their hotel early because of the jetlag. Being so excited and tired at the same time was a deadly mixture as they noticed when talking about completely weird stuff on their way to the YG headquarters. Trying to calm down and get serious again, they walked up the stairs to the floor on which amongst others Big Bang´s and their dancers´ group rooms and dancing studios were. Luckily Hanna and Katha had translated everything since they got here as the others were just too stunned and excited about every single thing, the only Korean word they were able to say at the moment was ´Annyeong´. And then, they stood in front of the door which simply said ´Big Bang´.

#by: yana :3 #bigbang #yg #ff #bigbang scenario #bigbang fanfiction #gdragon #daesung #seungri #taeyang #youngbae #top #seunghyun #kpop #south korea #ateam #ateamu

3 notes · View notes

pogueman · 8 years ago

Text

4 devices that'll take the shakes out of your amateur videos

In the olden days, it was easy to tell the difference between amateur and professional video. Even if the composition was identical, pro video had obviously better picture and sound—and it was stable.

Over the years, the video and sound quality of phone cameras have dramatically improved. But in general, the stability of the picture is still a giveaway. Pros use tripods or Steadicam rigs; amateurs hold their phones in their jiggly, unsteady hands.

To help out, the tech industry has devised a whole raft of mobile stabilizing rigs to hold your phone or GoPro (GPRO), like these.

Four ways to stabilize your video.

They’re not as good as an actual Steadicam, the expensive, professional, body-worn rig that lets you walk or even run while still allowing the camera to float, bump-free. (That shot of Rocky running up the Philadelphia art-museum steps was an early, famous Steadicam shot.)

The one and only Steadicam.

But they’re infinitely better than trying to shoot with your hand, as my video above should make clear.

(A note about stabilized phones: Some high-end phones have built-in, optical stabilizers—the iPhone 6s Plus, 7, and 7 Plus, for example, and the Galaxy S6 and S7. They work at least as well as the inexpensive stabilizers described here, but not nearly as well as the motorized ones. Lots of people get truly amazing footage using a stabilized phone in one of these stabilizing products—but lots also report that the two stabilizers sometimes fight each other, resulting in an unpleasant “judder” [shudder/jitter] when you’re panning. The solution would be to turn off the phone’s built-in stabilization—but most phones offer no way to do that. You’ve been warned.)

There are, by the way, dozens of these stabilizers. I tested four of them in a range of designs and price tags. Here’s what I discovered.

StayblCam

Weirdest darned thing you ever have seen. The StayblCam ($75, a Kickstarter hit) is a 10-inch, white or black plastic capsule/stick thing. You wedge your phone into the rubber grippers. You pull the plastic capsule ends apart, revealing a metal extension pole In the center of it with a ring on a ball bearing.

Weird and somewhat effective.

The central idea is that you’ll hold onto this ring, allowing the stick to swing freely like a pendulum.

To set this up, you must first fiddle with the ends of the StayblCam until it balances on that ring horizontally. Getting that right is fussy, and there’s no way to memorize the positions of the end chunks to make the setup faster the next time.

Once it’s perfectly balanced horizontally, you can turn the whole thing vertical. You wrap your thumb and index finger around the ring, and use your ring and pinky fingers on the pole itself, to prevent the whole thing from swinging as you walk. Even then, the swinging can be a problem, especially if it’s windy.

The correct technique.

If you compare the footage, there’s no question: Your video is smoother with the StayblCam than without it.

But this is a polarizing pole; on Amazon (AMZN), people tend to give this thing either 5-star or 1-star ratings. It’s goofy, it’s clunky to set up, and it only kind of works.

On the other hand, it’s waterproof and rugged. It never needs charging. You can unscrew the phone holder and replace it with a threaded mount for a camera or GoPro. You can turn the whole thing upside-down, for smooth ground-level (or pet-level, or baby-level) video that’d be hard to shoot otherwise. And poles telescope out quite a bit—enough for the phone to sit 3 feet above your hand.

Steadicam Smoothee

The Steadicam Smoothee is another steady-er that uses gravity as its stabilizing force ($90). This time, though, you’re holding a pistol grip, and a curved arm places the counterweight directly below your fist.

From Tiffen, makers of the original Steadicam.

Here again, the first step is to make sure everything is balanced; this time, you use two little red knobs to tweak the rig’s center of gravity. Also here again, the pendulum effect both helps you—by stabilizing the phone or camera—and hurts you, by swinging as you move. And finally here again, you’re supposed to keep additional fingers on it, to keep it from turning off the axis you want.

The footage is indeed much, much smoother than what you’d get handheld. Like many stabilizers, though, the Smoothee’s weak spot is quick pans. When you’re pointed in one direction—shooting a skateboarder just ahead of you, say—it’s a champ. But if you suddenly whip your hand to a different angle, you get a delayed reaction and an overcompensating swing.

Note, too, that you can’t hold the Smoothee upside-down, as you can the other products here. You can’t shoot those great dog’s-eye-view videos.

Incidentally, the gravity-based handheld stabilizer concept is available from copycat brands at much lower prices. I found these on Amazon:

Copycats abound.

I haven’t tried them, but it’s likely they’ll offer the same pros and cons as the Smoothee.

GoPro Karma Grip

You may recall (or maybe not) that GoPro, the struggling sports-camera company, unveiled a drone last fall, the GoPro Karma. (Here’s my review.) One of its chief virtues was the stabilizer that held the GoPro itself—a stabilizer you could pull out of the drone and use handheld.

Incredible smoothness–for GoPro only.

The Karma drone is a flawed product (and not just because it was recalled when a glitch caused some units to shut off in mid-flight). But the Grip, sold separately for $300 (GoPro not included), is a cool idea.

This is a motorized gimbal. You can move your hand all around, and the camera just sits locked in space, as though freed from the bonds of physics. It’s freaky in the way that a spinning toy gyroscope is freaky.

You have to charge it up before you use it; fortunately, the Grip also charges the GoPro attached to it.

The stabilization is unbelievable. It’s miles better than the gravity-based steadiers. In fact, no other product touched the fluidity of the chase shot it produced in my tests (see the video above); I mean, it looked exactly like a Hollywood movie shot. I tried it again, holding the Grip upside-down, with the camera down by my feet. Once again: GORGEOUS, smooth, floating video.

Since it’s just a handle, something like a flashlight, you can also stuff it into your jacket or backpack strap, point it forward, and let it film your skateboard, skiing, or mountain-biking run. You will be so happy with the results.

On the other hand, the Karma Grip has a couple of forehead-slapping drawbacks. First, it can’t hold a phone; the only thing you can put on it is a GoPro Hero 4 or 5 (be sure you buy the correct version).

Second, the gimbal mechanism spends most of its time blocking the Hero’s screen—and covering up one of its microphones. Oops.

DJI Osmo Mobile

DJI is another drone company that has branched out into stabilization products. The Osmo Mobile ($300) is another motorized gimbal, but this time, your smartphone is the camera. (It’s a spinoff of the regular Osmo, a much more expensive device that has a built-in camera.)

King of the motorized stabilizers (for now): Osmo Mobile.

Here again, the results are astonishing. You just can’t believe this video came from your phone. It looks like it was shot from a helicopter or a camera on a dolly (“train tracks”).

But it gets better—much better. There’s a four-way sliding button on this handle that motorizes the pans (side-to-side) and tilts (up-and-down) of your camera. The Osmo not only stabilizes your phone, but it also motorizes its movements, smoothly and gracefully. Between your own arm’s motion and this button, you can create spectacular, cinematic moves—either at arm height or, held upside-down, way down low.

The grip has dedicated shutter buttons for video and still photos, too. On the far side, there’s a trigger; hold it in with your index finger to make the camera lock its gaze. Now you can raise or lower your arm; the camera tilts to stay focused on the subject.

You can use your phone’s regular camera app. But if you download DJI’s companion video-capture app, you get some bonus features. One of them lets you draw a box around your subject—and then as you move (or it moves), the Osmo automatically tilts and pans the phone to keep the subject in the frame. So cool.

Another app feature is designed for time-lapse video: It stretches out a pan or a tilt over a very long time.

SteadiCam Volt

The whole stabilizer field is about to get a jolt with the Volt, which is SteadiCam’s motorized consumer stabilizer. If it were a movie, it would be called “Volt: SteadiCam’s Revenge.”

Revenge of the Steadicam.

It’s only a Kickstarter prototype right now (although one that’s already shot way past its goal), so I haven’t tested it. But once it’s a shipping product, it will offer two killer advantages.

First, its price will be $200, not $300. Second, the company says that it doesn’t lag when you do quick turns—like sudden pans or tilts—the way the Karma Grip and even the DJI Osmo Mobile do. If you want to do a whip pan, do a whip pan. (The Kickstarter video shows this feature in action.)

Of course, $300 or even $200 is a lot if all you ever film is your toddler’s waddles or your roommate’s antics. But it’s next to nothing compared with the $50,000 SteadiCam rig whose steadiness these motorized handles resemble. If you’re aspiring to be a YouTube celebrity, journalist, extreme sportster, or budget filmmaker, a stabilizer could be a powerful way to upgrade your work without changing cameras.

And you know what? Even one of the cheapies works better than your hand.

David Pogue, tech columnist for Yahoo Finance, welcomes non-toxic comments in the Comments below. On the Web, he’s davidpogue.com. On Twitter, he’s @pogue. On email, he’s [email protected]. You can read all his articles here (http://finance.yahoo.com/news/david-pogue/), or you can sign up to get his columns by email (http://j.mp/P4Qgnh).

#Pogue #David Pogue #_lmsid:a077000000BAh3wAAD #$GPRO #_revsp:yahoofinance.com #_author:David Pogue #_uuid:99c6fb14-c982-32b8-ae4e-f1c681395236 #$AMZN

6 notes · View notes

syndranker1 · 5 years ago

Text

Interview: Skydio CEO Adam Bry on Autonomy, Scaling Up & Taking on DJI

Last month, California startup Skydio launched a new drone for the consumer market: Skydio 2. Then came a docking station that looks set to propel the same aircraft onto worksites around the country.

The first impression is that Skydio 2 is a drone that could provide serious competition to DJI‘s market dominance. It’s lighter, smarter, more compact and more versatile than the original R1. It’s also cheaper, with a better camera and a couple of accessories that make it an adaptable creative tool.

In short, everything is in place for Skydio to have a big 2020.

DroneLife recently spoke with Skydio CEO Adam Bry about the response to the Skydio 2, what’s changed under the hood of the new drone and the company’s plans for the future.

The first thing Bry admits is that the initial response has been overwhelming. The focus is suddenly on scaling up supply to meet the demand and having enough drones ready to ship for next year.

At the moment, customers can reserve a Skydio 2 with a $100 downpayment, but doing so now will place you in a queue for Skydio 2 production batch 3, which is expected to start shipping in the 2nd quarter of 2020.

“The response has been phenomenal. I think that we tapped into something that a lot of people have thought about and wanted.” – Adam Bry, Skydio CEO

The Skydio Dock was announced last month, and will initially be launched with DroneDeploy.

This is only the beginning

In a short space of time, Skydio has risen to prominence as a manufacturer at the cutting edge of autonomy, pushing the boundaries of what’s possible with consumer drones. But Bry sees these latest developments as still scratching the surface of what will eventually be possible with the technology.

“My view on the whole industry: I think everything is still very early. With Skydio 2, we’ve got to the point where we’ve fulfilled the core product vision that we had, at a price and in a form factor that’s acceptable and useful for people.

This is a real milestone for the company and it’s a product that we’re incredibly excited to get out there. But I think that as an industry we still have a long way to go.”

The Skydio 2’s camera has been upgraded and almost every aspect of the hardware has been improved, culminating in a lighter drone with a longer flight time. Beneath the surface, the AI has also had a revamp.

Bry explains that Skydio 2 represents the next major revision of the company’s computer vision software. There are two key areas of progress.

First is an entirely new mapping system.

“With R1, we were using traditional stereovision techniques. We took that as far as it could go in terms of performance”, says Bry.

“With Skydio 2 we have an end-to-end deep learning system that estimates the depth and 3d structure of the world around it, which means it can use all the context that a person would. It knows if it’s looking at a tree, a wall, the sky or water, and it uses all of that to figure out the 3d structure.

This is one layer in, hidden from the user, but it means the drone moves in a much more smooth, reliable and repeatable way, so we can fly faster and see more challenging obstacles and structures that we couldn’t see previously.”

The second major change beneath the surface is the Skydio 2’s planning system: how it figures out which way to go.

“We’ve basically created a system in which the drone is simultaneously reasoning about what its motors are capable of, how fast each propeller can spin and how much thrust that will produce: a full aerodynamics model of the vehicle – along with its knowledge of the 3d world around it and the task that it’s trying to accomplish.

500 times a second, it figures out exactly what it should be doing with its motors. This is one of the reasons why the motion is now smoother, so much more cinematic and why we’re able to fly faster. Because when we need it to, it gives us faster reaction times.”

The Skydio 2

Read more: New Developer Platform Could Make Skydio R1 The Go-To Commercial Drone

A superior drone, for less

When the R1 was launched back in 2018, we were hugely impressed by the capability but concerned that the original $2,499 price point would put it beyond the reach of drone pilots and aerial photography fans.

The Skydio 2 is more advanced in every single department but is retailing for just $999. Bry says the accessible price is down to a number of things.

“Part of it is just making progress as a company. When we started building R1, when you go and talk to a supplier, rightly so it’s difficult to get them to pay attention and want to work with you at a significant capacity.

But having the credibility of the R1, we’re in a much better position to go out there, work with the world’s preeminent hardware component companies, and get the advantages of higher scale and higher volume.”

The Skydio team has also made a point of simplifying the hardware through further software advances. “The most obvious example is going from having the 12 navigation cameras around the outside to having 6 on the inside,” says Bry.

The Skydio 2: Affordable autonomy

“It’s a challenging algorithmic problem to do that because we’re now using rolling shutter fish eye cameras. Because they don’t expose all the pixels at exactly the same point in time, they’re very challenging from a computer vision perspective.

That’s something we’ve done a huge amount of work to enable. It lets us use lower-cost sensors but actually have better performance.

There’s no one single thing, but we’ve designed much for cost this time around. We have the technology foundation of the R1, better support from suppliers and several technological breakthroughs.”

Read more: Cape Ditches DJI for US-Made Skydio Drones Amid Security Concerns

Challenging DJI

DJI is often the drone industry’s he-who-must-not-be-named, particularly when you’re talking with manufacturers vying for a piece of their market share. But Skydio went against the grain with several references to the Chinese industry leader when marketing the Skydio 2.

Many of those references are direct. Footage on the website compares DJI drones to the Skydio 2. An image quality report that pits the Skydio 2 against several DJI drones is available to download. The first few seconds of the promotional video (below) are dedicated to a “dumb” DJI Phantom 4 flying straight into a street sign.

youtube

Some references are a little more subtle. Skydio have made an effort to highlight their ‘made in the US’ USP, for example. With DJI struggling to convince the US Government that their aircraft are secure and the backdrop of an ongoing trade war with China, the time certainly feels right for an American manufacturer to make a mark.

There’s a narrative that US companies can’t compete in this space. We obviously don’t think that’s the case and we’re hoping to prove that with Skydio 2.” – Adam Bry, Skydio CEO.

“I think there’s often this unspoken, elephant in the room thing when it comes to DJI,” says Bry.

“Our approach as a company and our culture is that we’d rather be upfront and honest about how we see things and talk about the stuff we know other people are thinking.

I have a lot of respect for DJI. They make really great products and they’ve obviously been responsible in a lot of ways for getting the industry to where it is now.

But we’re at this unhealthy point where they have so much market share that it stifles the ecosystem. In general, I think it’s always healthy to have different companies doing different things and going in different directions.”

Bry suggests many have read too much into the narrative that DJI’s domination is set in stone, that drones today are the way that drones are always going to be.

“I think we’re still very early, that there’s a lot of room in every direction for these products to get better in new and interesting ways. We’re not going to do all of that ourselves. DJI is not going to do all of it. There’s a lot more room for innovation and improvement than people realize and we want to be a big part of that.”

Later this week, we’ll be publishing the second part of our interview with Skydio’s Adam Bry. The focus of that will be the ethics of autonomous systems. Keep an eye out.

Source

قالب وردپرس

The post Interview: Skydio CEO Adam Bry on Autonomy, Scaling Up & Taking on DJI appeared first on Drone Magazine.

0 notes

tshirtfashiontrend · 6 years ago

Text

Toy Story 2 is the best Toy Story

Link Buys Now: https://kingteeshops.com/toy-story-2-is-the-best-toy-story/

Toy Story 2 is the best Toy Story

It’s also one of the best movies ever made.

With Toy Story 4, Pixar has the unenviable task of following up what was already a perfect trio of films, charting themes of birth, life, and death with lovely grace, despite the fact that their main characters are just a bunch of toys.

That it is able to find yet another new spin on the secret lives of toys is a testament to the studio’s continued strength of imagination. That it finds a new angle on the themes of mortality that 2010’s Toy Story 3 already handled, but one that is bittersweet and wistful to the sheer bombast of Toy Story 3, is even more impressive.

I greatly love both Toy Story 3 and Toy Story 4. But in recent years, I’ve begun to bristle a bit when Toy Story fans say the third is the greatest of the movies. This is, of course, inevitable in a franchise where every movie is superbly designed, lovingly written, and wonderfully performed. There will be partisans of all four films until the end of time.

But I am here to tell you that people who don’t think 1999’s Toy Story 2 is the greatest Toy Story film or that the two films that follow it will forever live in its shadow are wrong. Toy Story 2 isn’t just the best Toy Story movie. It’s a genuine American movie classic.

Toy Story 2 delves into themes both the Toy Story franchise and Pixar itself would dissect over the next decade

Buzz and Woody’s friendship drives all of the Toy Story movies.

The first Toy Story was released in 1995 and became the biggest hit movie of that year. It was the first animated feature entirely created with a computer, and even though it looks primitive by modern standards, Pixar’s choice to depict characters made out of plastic means that its artificiality has held up in a way that other computer-animated films from the ’90s just haven’t.

What’s more, Toy Story — which didn’t feature big musical numbers and focused on a buddy comedy between a cowboy and a space ranger, rather than an adolescent coming of age story — felt remarkably different from the other animated movies of the ’90s, its technology aside. It changed the industry so much that American studios almost never produce hand-drawn animated films anymore (a travesty, but not really Pixar’s fault), and it was recognized for its achievements with not just a massive box office intake, but a handful of Oscar nominations too (as well as a special-achievement award for being the first “feature-length computer-animated film”).

Naturally, Disney, who distributed the film, wanted a sequel. But Pixar was reticent. Consequently, Toy Story 2 was originally designed as a direct-to-video sequel to that film, before early work on the movie (initially by a very small team within Pixar) suggested it would play well in theaters.

In late 1998, however, folks within Pixar (including Toy Story 2 co-director John Lasseter, who was booted from Pixar in 2018 after accusations of rampant sexual harassment) got a look at the then-current state of Toy Story 2 and feared it would compromise whatever love the American public had for Woody, Buzz Lightyear, and the rest of the toys. Their bet was that they could make a movie that would live up to the legacy of the original and still hit the movie’s projected November 24, 1999, release date — leaving them a little more than nine months to lock the film.

That resulted in a production schedule that was decidedly worker-unfriendly (since the movie was in production basically around the clock for those nine months). And an awareness of that level of “crunch,” as well as Lasseter’s involvement, can make Toy Story 2 harder to revisit.

Yet there’s a wild creativity to Toy Story 2 that arises from Pixar’s desperate need to prove itself. Its 1998 release, A Bug’s Life, was warmly received, but nowhere near the level of Toy Story’s universal acclaim; some critics compared it unfavorably to the competing computer-animated release Antz, which came out a couple of months earlier from Dreamworks and has aged atrociously. (It’s one ugly movie.) Still, at the time, Antz’s celebrity voice cast — including Woody Allen, Sylvester Stallone, and Sharon Stone — and its “what if a Woody Allen movie was about a bug?” premise made it seem like the more “adult” choice.

Thus, Pixar went into Toy Story 2 with a chip on its shoulder. That shines through, but the sheer “we have to fix this now” desperation that resulted from the one-year-to-fix-this-movie timeline created a film that enriches and deepens the ideas introduced in the first Toy Story.

Where Buzz had the identity crisis that drives the first film (in which he has to accept that he is a toy), now it’s Woody who discovers that he is actually a 1950s holdover, a quite valuable TV show tie-in toy who can fetch a pretty penny on the collector’s market. But to become his best, most famous self, he would have to ditch Andy, the kid who owns him and all of his toy friends, by moving to live in a museum in Japan. He will get the immortality of being perfectly preserved on a shelf. But he won’t have Andy or his friends.

The Toy Story movies very loosely form a series about raising children and coming to realize that as your children get older, you get older too, and a little closer to death with every passing year. On this thematic level, then, Toy Story is about Buzz, like a new dad, learning that his needs often have to come second to those of his child.

This basic idea becomes even more potent in Toy Story 2, where Woody literally has to accept that his destiny is vaguely utilitarian, that he exists to fill a void in Andy’s life, and eventually, Andy will be done with him. But he can make Andy’s life better in that time, and that will have to be enough.

What’s beautiful about Toy Story 2 is how these themes develop mostly by implication. Toy Story 3 takes place in a world where Andy has grown up, and it gains substantial emotional power from that. But its choice is, effectively, whether or not to accept that time moves forward, and that your friends and loved ones will get older and die. Which is to say, it’s not actually a choice, because time will move forward whether you want it to or not.

But Toy Story 2 takes place at a time in Andy’s life when Woody really could choose himself and leave the kid behind. It might be more personally fulfilling, even, to embrace his cult icon status and live out his life in the hermetically sealed environment of a museum. We even get to see what will happen to Woody if he chooses to remain with Andy instead of that museum in a poignant flashback to the way Jessie, a cowgirl doll, remembers the girl who loved her, then tossed her aside as she grew older. It comes complete with a heartbreaking Sarah McLachlan performance, and is perhaps the saddest moment in the entire Pixar canon. And that’s saying something.

youtube

So, yes, if Woody wants personal fulfillment, he should probably choose the museum. But there would be no risk in it. Raising and loving a child is, on some level, a choice, each and every day, to accept the end of the self in favor of another person who needs your love, protection, and help.

But Toy Story 2 is also a rollicking adventure tale with tremendous storytelling economy

The toys go on a quest to save Woody, which adds lots of adventure and comedy to the film

If all Toy Story 2 had were weighty themes, however, it would be a bit of a bummer. What sets the film apart from the other Toy Story movies is how beautifully those themes are integrated into an incredibly fun adventure story that leaves plenty of room for action sequences and comedic flights of fancy. What’s more, it accomplishes this in just 92 minutes, while also giving every single major character their own story arc.

Much of Pixar’s success as a studio — “this was made by Pixar” has become a selling point in and of itself — can be tied to how good it is at classical Hollywood storytelling construction, screenwriting basics like paying off setups, and creating believable character motivations. These skills are present in Toy Story and A Bug’s Life, but they took full flower in Toy Story 2.

Take something as simple as Rex the dinosaur trying and failing to beat a Buzz Lightyear video game at the start of the film. At first, this feels like a silly one-off gag about how Rex’s tiny arms can’t work the controller as well as he’d like. But then, late in the film, the movie pays this off in the form of a sequence where Rex essentially has to live out the sequence he was stuck on from the video game in the real world. What was a funny joke becomes a thrilling moment of a character facing up to his own weaknesses and overcoming them.

That the movie finds a way to do this with every single character is striking, but even more incredible is that Toy Story 2 also finds ways to play off the character arcs developed in the first film, particularly when it comes to Buzz, who confronts another Buzz Lightyear doll who doesn’t yet realize he’s a toy and is forced to deal with just what an idiot he was back in the first film. It’s terrifically funny, and it allows the film to subtly underline the ideas of personal growth seeded throughout the movie.

Toy Story 2 succeeds because it’s a thematically thoughtful movie, yes, but it’s also a fun movie. That has given it a reputation among some fans that it’s a little slight, and it has the lowest average rating on IMDB of the first three films. (Time will tell how fans rate the fourth.) But the way that Toy Story 2 weds its themes to its more rollicking elements in a way that complements both makes it among Pixar’s crowning achievements. Compare it to, say, Toy Story 3: a real tearjerker, but one where the movie’s adventure story (about escaping a day care center) has next-to-nothing to do with its themes about mortality and aging.

One of Pixar’s greatest strengths when it comes to its storytelling is how often its stories aren’t about individuals overcoming all odds to win the day, but about individuals abnegating their own desires in favor of what’s best for the community. Toy Story 2 makes this the core of every scene, every moment, every joke.

Toy Story 2 is a beautiful, complex film about what it means to choose others instead of yourself every time, and about the weight of making that decision. (Intriguingly, Toy Story 4 explores the flip side of this idea. I won’t spoil it too much, but I think I might come to think of it as just as rich as this film.) But it’s also about how that choice really is a choice, one that different people might make in different ways. That it’s also one of the most action-packed Pixar movies of them all and stuffed with great jokes marks it as a tremendous achievement. It’s not Pixar’s first movie, but it’s the movie when Pixar became Pixar.

#Toy Story 2 is the best Toy Story

0 notes