#they carry for up to 11 months so i'm extremely excited for it finally happening

[barksbog]

MY CEACILIAN IS GIVING BIRTH

YES YES BABY SLIME SPAGHETTI

[reigningqueenofwords]

I'm Sorry, Sweetheart

Pairing: past Dean x Reader, Dean x Allie (OC), Benny x Reader Word count: 2,427 Warnings: Character deaths, a looooot of angst

Read on AO3

Part 6 of Unholy

Allie’s gifts came in a week later, and you’d put them all in a cute bag with tissue paper. Her baby shower had already happened, and you had not been in attendance. Because it happened before the pair of you were even acquaintances. You’d texted her that you had something for her, and invited her for dinner. She eagerly accepted. 

That night, she left Dean with the kids and made her way to your house. Ethan was due in two weeks, and it was a good way to relax before caring for a newborn. “Hi!” Allie beamed when you opened the door. “I brought some mocktails.” She chuckled. 

“That sounds amazing.” You told her as she stepped inside. “I made tacos. They’re just about ready.” 

“They smell amazing.” She set down her purse, making herself at home. 

Once dinner was served, the two of you made your way to the living room for your usual two episodes of Criminal Minds. “Before we eat, here.” You handed her the bag of goodies. 

Taking it, she removed the tissue paper and pulled out the first item. A tiny pair of baby jeans. “So cute!” She gushed, reaching in. It didn’t occur to her until she reached the baby shoes what you’d done. “Oh, baby Reid clothes!” She teared up. “Ethan will look adorable! Thank you!” She reached over to hug you the best she could. 

Smiling, you looked forward to seeing pictures. “You’re welcome. Ethan will have us all melting.” You said before you both got comfortable to watch your show and eat. 

Finally, you were 5 months pregnant, and it was the day you’d find out what you were having. You got a text that morning that Allie was in labor, and you sent her all the well wishes. Benny planned to work until mid morning, and then would meet you for lunch, and then your appointment. 

Come 11:30, however, Benny wasn’t there. Your appointment was in an hour, but you felt he was cutting it close. You tried to call him, but you got no answer. Which was extremely odd. Finally, you felt like you should call the shop. If you needed to leave, you wanted to let him know to meet you at your appointment. 

“Winchester Auto, this is Garth, how can I help you?” 

“Garth, it’s Y/N. Benny was supposed to pick me up half an hour ago. Is he still there?” You asked. 

Garth made a noise. “No, he left 45 minutes ago.” He told you, sounding confused. “He reminded us he’d be out the rest of the day, but to call if we got too busy. Since Dean’s out John came in.” He explained. “Is he not answering his phone?” 

You sighed. “No, it just keeps ringing. Thanks, Garth. I’ll be in with dinner later.” 

“Can’t wait. We’re all excited.” It was a good day to Garth. Allie was having Ethan, and you were finding out what you were having. 

After the pair of you said your goodbyes, you let out a small huff. You couldn’t figure out where your boyfriend was. He’d been so excited for today! 

Finally, you had to leave. You would be late if you didn’t. Hopefully he’d meet you there. 

Walking out of the doctor’s, you looked at the ultrasound and smiled. You found out you were having a little girl, and couldn’t stop picturing Benny with her. Pulling out your phone, you tried his number one more time. There was still no answer. Now you were getting really worried. Did something happen? 

Sliding into your car, you let out a sigh. Maybe when you brought dinner to the shop one of the guys would have heard from him. You’d be upset because he missed this, and wasn’t answering your calls, but as long as he was okay! “Damn it.” You muttered, pulling out of the parking space to head home. 

The entire afternoon, you kept checking your phone. You just kept hoping that Benny would call. Or text. Something! By the time you loaded dinner into the car, you were nearly panicked. 

Cas jogged out to the car to help you carry things in. “Hey, Cas. Have you heard from Benny?” You asked, hopeful. 

He shook his head. “No, I’m sorry.” He said sadly. “This isn’t like him, so we’re all worried. John is calling around to different hospitals, claiming he’s looking for his son.” Hearing that, you swallowed. “Come on.” He led you inside. 

Once in the breakroom, your heart sank at the look on John’s face. “John?” You breathed. 

He cleared his throat. “I’m sorry, sweetheart.” He told you. “I just got off the phone with the hospital. Benny was brought in with a gunshot wound this morning. He didn’t make it.” He watched you get held up by Cas, your knees buckling. 

“He-” You felt like you’d be sick. “Someone shot him?!” Who the hell would shoot Benny? You’d never see him again. Benny would never know you were having a daughter. You’d never see him hold her. 

Cas stayed by your side, helping you sit down. While he was in pain over losing a good friend, he couldn’t even fathom what you were feeling. You and Benny hadn’t been together long, but that didn’t mean anything. Time together did not dictate the pain someone felt when their significant other was ripped from them. 

Garth came in, drinks in hand. “What’s going on? Why does it looked like someone just died?” He asked, shocked when you started sobbing. 

“Benny was shot this morning.” John’s voice was soft, barely above a whisper. He knew that he’d have to tell Dean, and soon, but not right then. Not when he was welcoming Ethan. 

“I-I need to go home.” You tried to stand, but your efforts were weak. 

John got up. “I’ll take you home, sweetheart. One of the guys can follow in your car.” He offered. 

All you could do was nod. “Wait. I know Benny will never know what I’m having, but I want to at least tell you three.” You sniffed. “I’m having a girl.” You told them. 

Cas gave you a small smile. “He loved her already, I know that much.” 

“I didn’t think I’d ever see him be a father, but he would have been a damn good one.” John spoke up. 

You tensed a bit at that. “He was stepping up when he didn’t have to.” You noted. “That takes a good heart.” If he hadn’t, would he still be alive? Would he have been at work, safe?

John looked confused. “What’re you talking about, sweetheart?” He asked.

“Cas, I’m going to the restroom. Can you tell John? I can’t right now…” You didn’t trust yourself to be able to explain things properly. 

Cas nodded. “Sure.” He agreed. 

The three of them watched you go. They waited until they heard the ‘click’ of the bathroom door shutting. “Alright, what’s going on?” He asked, hands on his hips. 

“You…might want to sit down.” Cas suggested. “I’m sure you gathered that Benny is not the father.” John nodded. “Y/N didn’t know Dean is married, and a couple weeks after she started, Dean asked her to join him for dinner. Well, they were having dates and such at the shop. She didn’t know he was married until she met Allie when she came in for lunch.” He gave him a much shorter version. “Y/N quit the same day. She only came back because she wasn’t getting interviews and needed a job. Her and Allie are friends now, though. Allie knows. Dean came clean, and I guess her and Y/N had a talk, too.” 

John groaned, shaking his head. “Explains why Dean’s been off lately.” He sighed. “Damn it, Dean.” He was extremely disappointed in his son. 

You came back in, and you were worried about how John would react to you now. 

“So, looks like we’re getting another granddaughter.” He gave you a small smile. When you started crying again, he came over to hug you. “Come on, let’s get you home. I’ll talk to Mary. She’ll come in for you tomorrow. Take the day off.” 

You shook your head. “I can’t. I have bills.” You countered. “And the last thing I need is to sit at home with my thoughts. Work will be a good distraction.” You sniffed. With that, you allowed yourself to be led from the shop. “Oh, here’s my keys.” You turned to Cas, who was following.

That night, you put your phone on silent. Something you didn’t really do a lot, but you needed the rest. You couldn’t risk waking up to a text or anything. Your mother seemed to be on the mend, so you knew she would want you to get some sleep. She was so excited to be a grandmother. 

You’d cried yourself to sleep, and slept very soundly. Well, as soundly as you could 5 months pregnant. When you woke up the next morning, you just laid there for a few minutes. You had to get up and get ready for work, but getting your body to actually move was something else entirely. 

Finally sitting up, you unplugged your phone and paused. When you screen lit up, you had a ton of missed calls from Dean. And a single text message. Looking at all the times of the calls, and then the text, you realized that when he didn’t get through, he just texted you. Opening it, your heart sank. Allie didn’t make it through having Ethan. ��

Instantly, you were far more awake. You hit call, heart hammering in your chest. What the fuck was going on in your friend group?! 

“Y/N.” Dean answered, sounding nothing like himself. 

“I’m so sorry, Dean. I put my phone on silent to get some sleep last night.” You told him. Did he know about Benny?! “What happened? She seemed so healthy.” 

“I don’t even know, to be honest. The doctor told me, but I didn’t hear anything he said. It felt like my world just blew up.” He let out a breath. 

Your heart broke for him. “Do you need anything? Can I do anything?” Of course, you didn’t know what he could possibly need from you. You couldn’t bring Allie back! 

There was a moment before he spoke. “No, but I wanted to tell you myself. I know you guys were getting close. She had been talking about the outfit you got Ethan when we got to the hospital yesterday.” 

“Let me know when you go home. I’ll bring you something to eat, okay?” 

“Sure. I think we’re staying at my parents for a few days. I think it’ll help the kids.” That was his focus. “Speaking of kids, as odd of a question as this is now…I need good news. What’re we having?” 

You had a small smile on your face. “We’re having a little girl.” You told him softly. 

“Well, a little girl gives me something to look forward to.” He sounded so broken. 

After you got off the phone with Dean, you didn’t know how to feel. A numbness washed over you. Could so much pain and grief make you go numb? Swallowing, you got up and went through the motions of getting ready for the day. You’d come to town worried about losing your mother. Instead you lost a boyfriend and a friend. 

Blinking, you stared at the shop. You’d managed to get yourself to work on autopilot. As you slipped out of your car, you saw John’s truck. Which made sense. You doubted you’d be seeing Dean any time soon. Walking in, you made your way straight to the breakroom to put your lunch away and put down your purse. Cas, Garth, and John were sitting quietly drinking their coffee.

“Morning, sweetheart.” John greeted you. It was clear the poor man did not get much sleep the night before. “Today I’ll need you to call anyone who has appointments this weekend to reschedule. We’ll be closed Saturday and Sunday. Benny’s funeral is Saturday, Allie’s is Sunday.” He told you. 

“Okay.” You said softly, nodding. It was Tuesday, so hopefully you didn’t get grumpy customers. You didn’t think you could handle that. 

Saturday came around far too quickly. It was a wet and gloomy day, which you felt was fitting. Cas was picking you up, which you appreciated a great deal. You didn’t trust yourself to drive. It turned out that Benny was simply in the wrong place at the wrong time. He had stopped at a gas station to get you flowers, and walked into a robbery. Who robbed a place during the day?! You assumed that’s what the robber was thinking- it would take people off guard. While part of you was thankful it wasn’t someone who just wanted Benny dead, it was still so senseless. 

No one said much of anything as you stood around the hole in the ground. Dean was across from you with his parents and the kids. John held who you guessed was Layla, Mary had Ethan, and Dean held the hands of his two oldest. He looked like a shell of himself. 

Slowly, people left as the funeral was over, but you couldn’t move. Finally, it was just you and Cas. “Come on.” He said gently. “Let’s go get something to eat.” He just didn’t want to bring you home and leave you alone. 

Finally, you gave him a sad smile and nodded. “Okay.” You agreed. 

The next day, the funeral was a tad bigger. There were people you didn’t know, so you stuck to those you did. The weather was still dreary, and you idly wondered if the universe knew that your group had dealt with too much sadness for sunshine. “Are you Y/N?” Came a voice you didn’t recognize. 

“I am.” You replied. 

Without warning, her hand met your face. “How dare you show up to Allie’s funeral? After what you did.” She seethed. 

Your eyes watered as you had your hand on your cheek. Swallowing, you turned and walked away. You didn’t even know who the hell that was, but it clearly didn’t matter that Allie had been your friend. Garth went after you. “That’s Holland. She was Allie’s best friend. I’m surprised that she did that. Allie liked you.” 

You rubbed your cheek. “I can’t blame her for slapping me.” You sighed. “She probably told Allie to hate me, anyway. It’s her job as Allie’s bff, ya know?” 

“Doesn’t make it right.” He countered.