#they can’t have me suffer for 12 episodes for this

[jsprnt]

I swear I’ll cry if when the phone rings has a unhappy ending

[tenwhiteandalusians]

olivia rodrigo get him back! dot mp3. so you’re telling me tenax ARRESTED his boyfriend while he was emotionally at his lowest for a trick they used to pull together in order to convince him to come back to him. it’s not like you could’ve just asked or anything.

and then no one said anything about the fact that if i watched ONE MORE episode tenax pulls a "i'm not angry i'm just disappointed i'm hurt" about scorpus signing with the white faction.

[hugmekenobi]

S3: The Bad Batch (12)

Chapter Twelve: Juggernaut

Gif by @azertyrobaz

Hunter x femaleJedi!reader

Series Summary: Ever since Eriadu, Clone Force 99 had been a fractured squad. Months have passed but you're finally back with the Batch but Omega is still out there and you won't stop until you find her again.

Chapter Summary: The Batch seek out an unlikely ally to get you and Omega back. Meanwhile, you and Omega find out what's in store for you on Tantiss

Masterlist for S1 and S2

<Previous Chapter

Genre: Friends (idiots) to Lovers (we're in the lovers stage now)

Chapter Warnings: Canon-typical violence, swearing, me making up an SP number, humour used as a deflection tactic, Hunter losing it a bit, brief injury descriptions, threats, implications of torture, mentions of scars, Rampart, Hemlock being a creep, lotta angst,

Word Count: 5.7K

Author's notes: Had a bit of creative fun doing this episode but it should also hopefully feel like an angsty one lol

You braced yourself against the weather as you exited the ship.

The gusts of wind on Tantiss swept the steady drizzle of rain in a diagonal against your face.

You and Omega stopped just before Hemlock as he came to meet you both.

Then, a move occurred that genuinely surprised you.

In quick succession, the operative took Omega’s cuffs off and then did the same to yours before he took to his ship and left.

You and Omega massaged your wrists as you regarded the man ahead of you with suspicious curiosity.

“I trust we won’t have any issues with you and your… talents. Unless you want Omega to suffer the punishment for your disobedience?” Hemlock directed the question to you.

You knew that would be the card he would play, and it was a fucking effective one. “No issue.” You said tightly.

Hemlock nodded before he addressed both of you. “Turning yourselves over was a wise decision. Come with me.”

Omega glanced up at you, but you gave her a nod and the two of you slowly followed Hemlock inside.

--

The route to the lab had not left Omega’s memory and she recognised the familiar corridors that Hemlock led you both through, although the heightened stormtrooper presence was new.

“Bring the Jedi to the cell we arranged below but keep her away from the vault. She and Omega are not to be together.” Hemlock directed the group of troopers that approached as you all came to a halt outside the lab doors.

Your head snapped over to Hemlock as you heard that.

Omega frantically looked between you and Hemlock. “No!” She shouted.

You saw the group of troopers moving in on you. You called on the Force and pushed them further down the corridor and smacked them into the wall, but you couldn’t do anything more than that. You couldn’t risk Hemlock punishing Omega.

You saw another squad closing in.

You had to let them take you.

Omega looked up at you, tears in her eyes. “They can’t take you! I won’t let them!” Omega turned to Hemlock but all she saw on his face was a cruel sneer. “Please-”

You wouldn’t have her begging that man for anything. You bent down and hugged Omega tight to your chest. Do what you need to do to get outta here. I’ll see you again. You don’t worry about me. You said hurriedly as you felt numerous hands grab you and yank you away from her.

The butt of a blaster smacked against your temple, making you lightheaded and your body more compliant with the soldiers as they pulled you down the corridor.  

“No!” Omega fought against the strong grip a trooper took of her shoulder and she couldn’t free herself. But they couldn’t stop her words.

“Bring her back!”

“No! We stay together!”

“Let me go!”

“Stop!” That was the last thing she was able to say before she was dragged into the lab.

--

Omega’s fading cries were all that echoed through your head as the troopers dragged you away and through another maze of levels and hallways.

--

Emerie had heard the commotion outside, and she saw the fear and sadness on Omega’s face as she entered but she had to hide her lingering discomfort as Hemlock brought her over. The small smirk that graced Hemlock’s face did not escape her though.  

“Begin testing her at one. I want confirmation.” Hemlock ordered but he saw hesitance demonstrated by Emerie at the order. “Is there a problem, Dr. Karr?”

“No.” Emerie replied swiftly. “I’ll handle it.”

“Where’s Nala Se?” Omega asked as she looked around the lab but found no sign of the Kaminoan.

“In a cell. I’m afraid the Kaminoan won’t be aiding you in another escape.” He said to Omega before addressing Emerie, “I’ll return later for the results.” He walked out the lab. He had other preparations to oversee.

Omega walked over to her sister, “Emerie, you don’t have to do this.”

Emerie sighed as part of her wished the words didn’t affect her as much as they did but what else was she supposed to do? This is where she wanted to be… didn’t she? “I’m sorry, but I do.” She prepared the syringe and approached the young girl. “For what it’s worth, I’m glad you’re safe.” Emerie took the sample.

“Am I?” Omega questioned uncertainly. “And why did he take her from me? What is he going to do her? Will she be okay?”

And the reassurance Emerie once might’ve been prepared to offer couldn’t be said anymore.

--

Pabu was a ghost town.

The people of the island were recovering and hiding in their homes.

All that remained were the signs of destruction the soldiers had left behind.

But there were no more troopers.

No more gunships.

And he knew what that meant.

He couldn’t deny it to himself anymore.

It had happened again.

They’d taken his home.

They’d taken Omega.

They’d taken you. The love of his life.

Gone.

Your time spent together had been so rushed, so interrupted and there had been too little time for him to express how important you were to him since you’d returned.

The life that the two of you were preparing to have together had been snatched away. And now you were gone. You were gone before he’d had the chance to-

And both of you would be subjected to whatever torment Hemlock wished to inflict. The very thought made him sick to his stomach.

If only he’d been quicker, stealthier. If only he’d handled that gunship pilot better. If only-

He stopped short and clawed at his chest as he felt the guilt constrict around his heart. His knees buckled as the entire weight of his failure crashed into him and he had to brace himself against one of the ransacked stalls to keep from collapsing but he forced himself to calm down.

He couldn’t allow himself to lose himself in it. Not anymore.

He’d done that before but that was then.

Now, he let clarity overcome him.

Now he would not lose focus.

He would not falter.

He would not be dissuaded.

Everything he had was going to go into getting you two back.

Hemlock would die.

Nothing was going to stop him from achieving that.

He felt wet nose nuzzle against his palm and he glanced down to see Batcher looking up at him with concerned eyes.

He straightened up and carried onto Archium.

--

Hunter took his helmet off as he approached his brothers, and he was glad to see Wrecker awake and back on his feet. “The troopers have pulled out, but the cruiser’s still jamming our comms.”

“I still can’t believe you let them turn themselves in.” Wrecker said reproachfully to Crosshair.

“The Empire would have destroyed this whole town. They stopped them.” Crosshair responded, his frustration at the whole situation seeping into his tone. He was more surprised however that the admonishment had come from Wrecker and not Hunter but then again, there was still time.

“Yeah, and they’ve got them again.” Wrecker replied dejectedly. “And we’re stuck here without a ship.”

“Even if we get our hands on a ship, we still have no way of finding Tantiss base.” Hunter said.

The trembling from his hand was an instant reaction. “That’s not exactly true.” Crosshair said cagily as he held his hand.

Hunter stared at his brother carefully and made himself wait for further explanation before he said anything he might regret.

“Wait. You’ve known where Tantiss is this whole time?” Wrecker questioned accusingly.

“I didn’t say I know. There’s someone who might have the coordinates.”

“Who?” Hunter asked urgently.

“Admiral Rampart. He sent Nala Se there when we decommissioned Tipoca City.”

“Why didn’t you say anything before?” Hunter took a few aggressive steps towards Crosshair but checked himself as he caught the way his brother kept massaging his shaking hand. It wouldn’t benefit anyone if he jumped down Crosshair’s throat, he didn’t deserve that.

“Because Tantiss isn’t a place I ever wanted to go back to.” Crosshair admitted. “And Rampart’s not particularly trustworthy. He is a last resort, but he’s our only option.”

“Where’s Rampart now?”

“I was still in the Empire when they arrested him. He was sent to-”

Batcher growling and the sound of a platform opening interrupted him and the three of them turned to see a hatch in the middle of the Archium floor opening up.

“Do not shoot!” AZ yelled as he and Phee came into the room.

“I second that.” Phee agreed as she saw the three clones with blasters pointing in their direction.

The three of them holstered their weapons.

“I saw the Imperials on my approach. When I landed, Doc here briefed me on the situation.” Phee explained.

“How did you get in here unseen?” Hunter enquired.

“Used the hidden cavern access when I docked my ship.”

“We’re gonna need to borrow that.” Crosshair insisted by way of greeting.

Phee regarded the new face with a knowing smile, “You must be Crosshair. Tech told me all about your… sparkling personality.”

“Is that a no?” Crosshair replied, crossing his arms in his typical unimpressed fashion.

“Any friend of brown eyes is a friend of mine. Where are we heading?”

“An Imperial labour camp on Erebus.” Crosshair divulged with a heavy breath but if it meant a chance to get you and Omega back, he would face the demons of his past.

“Ooh, I like this already.” Phee said with a roguish grin. She led the way down, with Wrecker joining her first.

Crosshair faced his sibling and started nervously, “Hunter-”

Hunter just about managed a single, reassuring nod. “I know, Crosshair.”

“I wanted to- if there had been any other way- I’m-”

Hunter touched his brother’s shoulder. “I don’t blame you, Crosshair. Not at all.” He exhaled a sharp sigh, “It was the right call. Besides, you couldn’t have stopped them, no matter how much you wanted to. All that matters is that I know we’re getting them back.”

Crosshair studied his brother. Of all the reactions he’d expected, this one had been low on the list. This was a different type of determination that gave him the impression that Hunter meant what he was saying, but there was more that he was not allowing himself to feel or express anymore.  

Hunter removed his hand before they both stepped onto the platform to follow the others down.

--

Being helpless to Phee’s plan of sending the ship into a vertical nosedive in order to get past the perimeter had emulated Tech’s crazy, yet somehow effective piloting, and it became very clear why the friendship between the two of them had been growing into something more.

With Phee being on standby for a retrieval after she’d dropped them in, they’d managed to infiltrate the system and find out what prison transport Rampart was on and taking the turbo-tank from the Imperials on-board had been a simple task in the end.

Hunter took control of the steering.

Wrecker and Crosshair took up position by the doorway to the prison hold.

Crosshair touched the walls, “It’s magnetically sealed. Wrecker, remember Plan 55?” Crosshair waited patiently as his brother worked on remembering the details of it.

“Oh. Yeah. 55. Waiting on you. Go.” Wrecker said in quick realisation as he prepared his blaster.

Crosshair opened the door, and they advanced down the corridor.

--

The door opened and Crosshair instantly ricocheted his blaster bolt around the walls, killing most of the troopers and Wrecker took care of the few stragglers that remained.

“Ct-9904?” Rampart said in disbelief as he recognised the uniformed clone.

“You remembered. How touching.” Crosshair sneered as he stared at the former admiral. The ill-fitting, dirty orange jumpsuit and raggedy beard and untidy hair gave a distinct worn and dishevelled appearance to the Imperial that Crosshair knew he would despise, and he found the whole thing rather satisfying. He tapped the side of his helmet to let Hunter know, “The target’s secured.”

“The target?” Rampart repeated with outrage. “What is this? Are you here to kill me?”

“Tempting, but no.”

Wrecker cleared his throat, interrupting the discussion between them, “What about them?” He asked in reference to the other prisoners on board.

--

Hunter slowed the turbo-tank to a stop to let Wrecker and Crosshair release the remaining prisoners.

“All clear.”

Wrecker’s confirmation on the comms prompted Hunter to get the tank moving again.

--

“And what about me?” Rampart asked as the larger clone came back from freeing the others.

“You’re fine right where you are.” Crosshair replied tersely.

“If you’re not here to execute me, and you’re not letting me go, then you must need something from me.” Rampart deduced.

“Tantiss base. Where is it?” Crosshair asked briskly.

“Ah. Tantiss.” Rampart repeated as if the answer had been what he’d expected. “And how much is that information worth to you?”

“You’re not in a position to bargain.” Crosshair growled.

“Hmm. I disagree. I’ll talk after you get me off this planet.” Rampart negotiated smoothly, “You don’t get what you want if I don’t get what I want.”

“We’re approaching the bridge. Wrecker, man the cannon.”

Hunter’s voice on the comms interrupted the tension settling between the three men and Wrecker set off to do as instructed.

--

From the activation of the bridge gates and barricades and the tank that was approaching from the other side of the bridge, it had become pretty clear that the Imperials were onto them, but Hunter wasn’t about to let that stop him. It would take a lot more than that and probably not even then. He increased the speed of the vehicle and powered through them.

The enemy tank opened fire on them, but Wrecker was quick to respond however the blaster fire wasn’t making a dent in either transport.

There wasn’t time for a firefight, “Their armour’s too strong. Take out the wheels.” Hunter ordered Wrecker as he kept the speed of the tank on a steady increase.

Wrecker did just that and the tank came to a crashing halt as the front set of wheels exploded.

Hunter simply ramped up the power and sent their tank flying over the downed Imperial vehicle.

--

In the chaos of the tank righting itself, Crosshair and Rampart had gotten thrown to the ground.

Rampart attempted to use the opportunity to grab a free blaster, but the clone shot it out of his hands.

Crosshair got to his feet and trained his sniper on Rampart.

 “Oh please. You’re not going to kill me.” Rampart said confidently.

Crosshair set his rifle to stun. “Hmm. Not yet.” He replied simply before he knocked the man out and grab him by the collar.

--

He’d managed to get the tank through to the other side of the bridge, but the sight of approaching gunships caused Hunter to dramatically drop the speed and he drifted the tank onto an off-road path- the narrow cliffside wasn’t enough to deter him from the pace at which he was driving.

Crosshair opened the door to rejoin his two brothers and he dragged Rampart’s body inside.

Hunter tapped the side of his helmet, “Phee, we’re past the perimeter and need that pickup.” He said into his comm but all he heard was the fuzzy sound of static.

Wrecker was able to fire back and destroy one of the gunships on their tail, but he couldn’t stop the other one from making up ground. “Cannons are offline!” He shouted with an aggravated punch to the console as he saw the power go down. “We’ve got troopers up top.” He said as another sensor beeped. He and Crosshair both got ready to deal with it but the reaction from Hunter stopped them both.

Hunter, uncaring about the precarious path, merely weaved the tank in an aggressive pattern to toss the troopers off. This entire thing was getting old rather fast, he had more important things to be doing now. Most fell quickly but one soldier managed to tumble over the side that had a ladder he could cling onto, so Hunter smashed the lone trooper into the cliffside.

Whilst that plan had worked, it hadn’t deterred the final gunship which landed a successful shop that disabled the steering. The controls went rigid in Hunter’s hands. “Controls are dead.” He voiced aloud. They could really use that pickup now.

“We’re running out of road!” Wrecker cried as he saw the end of the path rapidly approaching.

Then, the glorious sound of explosions sounded from the outside.

“Not exactly a stealth exit, boys.” Phee commed in as she took out the final gunship.

“Let’s move!” Hunter directed as they all made their way to the roof of the tank.

--

Wrecker watched as his brothers made the jump to Phee’s extended ramp. He tossed Rampart’s limp body on the stairs but the gap between the tank and Phee’s ship was increasing, and he couldn’t be confident that he’d make the jump. “Move closer!”

Hunter saw the end of the road was drawing nearer and there wasn’t more time to get the distance exactly right. “Hurry! Jump!” He urged.

Wrecker took a few steps back before he ran and leaped over. He slid down the last couple steps but fortunately, Hunter had a secure hold on his upper arm, so he was able to be pulled securely on board.

Phee got the ship out of any further harms way.

--

Crosshair, being the only one of the three of them to keep his helmet on, kicked Rampart’s leg to wake him up.

Rampart came around with a wince.

“We got you off the planet. Now tell us where Tantiss is.” Crosshair demanded.

Rampart released a reluctant groan, “It’s more complicated than that.”

“Complicated how?” Hunter asked snappishly.

“No one knows the coordinates to Tantiss. It was designed that way. But I might know how to get around that.” He said but he didn’t elaborate.

Crosshair was getting tired of his games. “Either you tell us now, or we drop you back in that Imperial prison.”

“Now, now. No need for threats.” Rampart tisked. “After all, we’re in this together. Retrieving the young girl will be no easy task, but the girl and a Jedi? You’ll need my expertise so best play nice.” Rampart smirked as he saw the way all three of them stiffened their posture. “Oh yes, word travels amongst the unsavoury characters I was forced to be in close quarters with and between the officers.”

He fixed his stare on Hunter whose jaw was clenched so tight; Rampart wondered if the act was causing him physical pain. “CT-9904 had some rather interesting information to share about the two of you. I didn’t think the protocol would’ve allowed for such… fraternisations.”

Crosshair recoiled slightly as he remembered the conversations. Rampart’s words felt like he may as well have just punched him in the gut, and Crosshair risked a glance to Hunter as he readied his own apologies, but Hunter wasn’t looking at him.

Hunter stalked around the table to stand over the seated form of Rampart who was already beginning to cower into the booth. “You’re here because we need your information but let me make something very clear to you…”

This particular demeanour Hunter was exhibiting was foreign territory to the two brothers. Crosshair and Wrecker watched the interaction closely in case they were needed to intervene, more for their brother’s sake than Rampart’s.

Hunter’s voice took on a tone that was so low and so threatening, it even put Wrecker and Crosshair on edge and made them stand up a little taller. “Mention her or Omega again and you’ll wish you were back on Erebus.”

And Rampart could tell by the intensity of his stare and the conviction behind his words that the clone wasn’t bluffing either. Rampart’s throat went dry, and he swallowed a few times to find his voice again, “P-” He cleared his throat. “Point- point taken.” He said shakily. He’d miscalculated his power in this situation rather badly. Despite the fact he was the one that had the information to offer, it would only be worth it if he got out of here in one piece and the clones kept to their end. Evidently, that would not happen if he pushed that particular button too much.  

Satisfied that his words had landed, Hunter turned to go back to the cockpit but jutted his head for Crosshair to follow him.

Wrecker offered a supportive pat on Crosshair’s shoulder as he left.

--

“Phee, can you go watch Rampart with Wrecker for a few minutes?” Hunter asked tightly as he felt his emotional control slipping.

“Uh, sure.” Phee said with a questioning look between the two clones but the tension in the air was palpable, so she didn’t linger.

Crosshair removed his helmet and waited nervously for his brother to speak.

“What did you tell him?” Hunter ground out as he pushed the rising wave of emotions back down.

Crosshair looked down at the floor in shame. “Nothing. I-”

The wave came back stronger this time, and he couldn’t stop the knee-jerk reaction to his brother’s evasiveness. “Crosshair!” Hunter interrupted heatedly.

Crosshair met Hunter’s stare.

Hunter started talking but his words came out short and sharp with his voice rising with each sentence. “Rampart can’t gain any leverage here. If he has anything about her, about me, about our relationship that he could use against us… against me then I have to know! I need to know what he knows!”

Crosshair kept his voice level; a shouting match would do no good here and Hunter had every right to be reacting the way he was. All Crosshair could do was hope Hunter would believe him. “He doesn’t know anything. Not really.” Crosshair took a breath. “I told him getting her in Imperial custody might be a good way to get you. It would be a way to get you to slip up and come out of hiding. And if you came, the rest of the squad would follow. Nothing specific, I swear.”

Hunter looked at Crosshair but everything on his face and everything he knew about his brother told him he was telling the trust. He didn’t sense any dishonesty and he wasn’t about to throw away the trust he’d built and regained with Crosshair over some stupid comment from Rampart. He relaxed his stance and his tone, “I’m sorry I snapped at you.” Hunter said as he pinched the bridge of his nose in an attempt to quell the oncoming headache that had been brewing since leaving Pabu.

Crosshair dismissed the unnecessary apology. “I’d expected a lot worse.” He recognised the signs and knew his brother needed a moment to himself now, so he quietly left the cockpit.

Hunter exhaled deeply and reached under his clothes and clasped the leather chord as he pulled out the necklace. He fiddled with the Jedi symbol that decorated it and allowed himself the few seconds of ease and happy memories the action brought before he hid it once more.

Hunter shook off everything that had just transpired and put everything else that wasn’t involved in getting you and Omega back to the back of his mind before he rejoined the others.

--

Omega’s body was heavy with weariness. These tests had taken hours and after the night she’d already had, her body was struggling to fight against the urge to just slide of the stool and sink to the floor.

Her ears pricked up as she heard a cheering dinging, but she saw the curious yet slightly concerned look Emerie shot her way. Omega didn’t have any time to enquire more about that since Hemlock returned.

“Dr. Karr, what are Omega’s results?”

“Her blood sample yielded a favourable M-count replication.”

“As expected.” Hemlock said as he looked to the young girl.

“What does that mean?” Omega asked.

“I’ll show you.” Hemlock replied.

Omega was left with little choice but to follow Hemlock out and walk a route that was unfamiliar to her.

--

“Did you know an individual’s M-Count cannot be directly replicated?” Hemlock quizzed as he led the way to the vault. “Attempts have been made but each time, the levels degraded. And so we experimented.” He opened the doors to the corridor illuminated with red beams and gestured for Omega to carry on.

Omega didn’t move yet. “Where are you taking me?”

“The vault.”

Together, the two of them then carried on walking.

“We tried various methods, mixing samples from out other test subjects, yet nothing worked...” Hemlock continued to divulge, “until we combined your sample with one of our M-Count specimens.”

Together, the two of you would make a scientists dream so Omega couldn’t understand Hemlock’s command to separate the two of you. What did he have planned for you that was so different to anything else that would lie behind the doors ahead. “Then why couldn’t we stay with each other?”

Hemlock paid no attention to the broader meaning behind question. He kept his focus on her role here instead. “You are a vital piece to our work here, Omega.”

Omega stopped short as the doors opened and she was met with the sight of three children- they were a few years younger than her- and a baby. She recovered quickly and asked, “Who are they?”

“They are the rest of the puzzle. And this, this is your new home.” Hemlock turned around and walked out.

Omega heard the doors shut with a secure clash and she gulped as she took in the space.

She was confined. Again.

--

You felt a flicker of fear as the door opened and you saw the tiny cell you were to be put in.

The walls were blank and grey.

There wasn’t any type of bed.

All that was there was a thick silver chain with shackles attached to it that was weaved through a notch in the wall.

All of that added to the already freezing temperature of the cell.

One of the troopers shoved you hard in the back and you tripped into the room.

“SP-42, you need to wear this uniform now.”

You studied the face of the woman that gave you the drab, grey clothes and you saw traces of Omega in her face. Plus, it was obvious she was doing her best not to give away the fact that she knew who you were. “Emerie, isn’t it? Omega mentioned you.”

Emerie shifted uncomfortably but subtlety nodded. “She talked about you, too.” She said quietly before she addressed you at a louder volume with a more official stature. “But I really need you to follow my instructions, SP-42.”

“Please, SP-42 was my father. My first name will be fine. I have a feeling we’ll be spending a lot of time together.” You quipped as you took off your armour, the rest of your clothes and changed into the uniform that was handed to you.

“Ah, the use of humour to distract one from the pain of their current situation.”

Your blood ran cold at the soft and quiet yet threatening voice, but you masked your discomfort quickly as Hemlock came into view. “Oh great, it’s SP-Fuckface.” You remarked crudely as you fixed him with an intense glare.

Emerie tensed up at the comment as she took your personal items from you and handed them to one of the troopers.

“Come now, I thought your people were above such vulgar words.” Hemlock fully came into the cell.

“My people and I tended to differ on a lot of things.” You responded icily.

“Indeed.” Hemlock mused.

You forced yourself to keep your eyes up and not look disgusted by the way he touched the half-skull insignia on your old top.

Hemlock nodded to the one of the troopers to take them away and he inhaled deeply before he gave you his full attention. “I must say, this has been a long-awaited reunion. I offer you my congratulations- the search for you always proved most troublesome, despite your rather public endeavours against the Empire. You were a hard one to predict. Even the information I’d been given ahead of time was not always relevant.”

“Sorry I couldn’t make my capture convenient for you.” You retorted as the troopers took your hands behind your back and secured the shackles to your wrists. You pulled against the chain to test it, but it was strong and only extended a short way, so the bitter metal of the shackles instantly dug into your skin.

Hemlock ignored you and kept to his train of thought, “So, imagine my surprise when I got word that you’d handed yourself in all those months ago.”

“What are-” The realisation that hit you brought with it an overwhelming nausea as you stared at him and the cruel smile on his face.

It had always been Hemlock.

From the moment he’d known what you were.

From the moment you escaped him and made the decision to stop hiding.

From the moment you handed yourself over to the Imperials on Christophsis.

It was never just any Imperial official that wanted you.

It all led back to him.

“The secure prison facility…” Your voice hoarse and barely above a whisper as you recalled the words of the Imperial’s that had been getting ready to transport you off Christophsis.

“Very good.” Hemlock complimented. “If it weren’t for the incompetence of those officers in charge of you, I would’ve had you here a lot sooner.”

You reminded yourself of your training as you felt your breathing quicken and the panic that flared in your gut. You got your emotions under control and made sure you presented yourself as if his words had no impact on you.

Hemlock nodded as he saw your reaction, or lack thereof. It only proved he was right to take this course of action with you. You were no mere specimen. “Do you know that little display of yours in the hallway caused several concussions and a few dislocated shoulders?”

“If you’re looking for an apology, you’re not going to find one here.” You snapped.

Hemlock simply gave you a cool smile, “You misunderstand. I know that was only a taste of what you are capable of and it’s that strength of yours will prove most useful to my operation here.”

The panic came back again. “Useful?” You repeated, determined to keep the quiver out your voice as he started to circle you. You kept your eyes firmly towards the door as you felt him pause by your side.

“You see, I have great plans for you.” Hemlock whispered into your ear.

His breath was cold against your skin, and you were fighting against every instinct that was telling you to flinch away.

“Why am I here?” Still managing to keep your voice steady.

“You are here because I wish to study you.” Hemlock let out a deep sigh as he breathed in the scent of your hair. “You are here because having someone with your talents will be most beneficial.” He stroked his hand down the back of your skull. “You are here because you are going to join my operatives. With you being a part of them, nothing will stop me from achieving my goal.”

You had to jerk away from him then, “No.” You breathed in horror. “Never.”

“The very fact that you think you will have a choice shows how little you understand your situation.”

The walls of the room felt like they were closing in around and you could feel your knees growing weak, but you pushed yourself to stay upright. “You can’t break me. Your fellow Imperials tried already.” But the low, mocking chuckle you got in reply deeply unnerved you.

“You will find my methods to be more… sophisticated than what you’re used to.”

You felt his gloved hand trace down your clothed back, following the exact pattern of the scars left behind after everything you endured on Christophsis. You forced down the bile that rose in your throat.

Hemlock traced the pinprick scar on your neck, enjoying the way you attempted to flinch away from him before your stubborn strength kicked in and you stood still. You would provide him a most stimulating challenge that he was yet to meet, even the other prisoner hadn’t resisted as much as he expected. “I focus far more on the mind than those imbeciles on Christophsis. Perhaps if they’d used their interrogation droid more wisely, I would’ve been reacquainted with you sooner.”

Your entire body went numb. His vile words were far more threatening than any of the Imperials and troopers you’d come across.

“They didn’t understand what they had in their possession, but I do. Your mind will become mine. You will be one of my operatives.”

“And if I don’t?” You would sooner die than join him and you knew he had to know that too.

Hemlock came round to stand in front of you once more. “Then your time here will be short-lived. But I hope we can avoid such an unpleasant outcome. After all, Omega’s fate could depend on it.”

You lunged forward but the chain tugged you backwards immediately.

“Take her vitals and return to the vault.” Hemlock ordered as he placed his hands behind his back and walked out.

It took everything in you to keep standing as Emerie drew a sample of your blood.

Emerie avoided eye contact with you. That entire interaction had her struggling not to bolt. She just kept her sights firmly on the vial as she stepped away from you and headed towards the door.

“Emerie.”

Emerie paused but kept her back to you.

“Look out for her, okay? She might not need it but it’s looking like I can’t be the one to be there for her if she does.”

Emerie nearly turned to face you, but she stopped herself and said nothing as she exited.

Only when Emerie left did you collapse to your knees on the stone ground and let the emotions leave you in frantic, terrified breaths.

You allowed yourself a moment to lose yourself in your situation before you regained your composure.

You adjusted yourself into as comfortable as a position you could manage.

You closed your eyes and allowed the Force to wrap you in its calming and secure presence.

He wouldn’t break you.

No matter what he thought he could do.

He wouldn’t get to you.

You would get out of here somehow.

Next Chapter>

Tagging: @noeasyisnoisy, @arctrooper69, @andreaaxy, @dominoeffectsworld, @notgonnaedit , @allthingsimagines @nightmonkeysstuff, @jellybeanstacey0519 , @callsign-denmark , @superbookishhufflepuff

[mulders-too-large-shirt]

my favorite scully and mulder moments from s3

mulder bursting into his apartment in episode 2 after actually returning from the dead, only to find scully and skinner holding each other at gunpoint. he immediately asks if she is okay and pulls HIS gun on skinner, too (yes, he WILL threaten to kill their boss for her, thank you very much)

(and then they have this moment where they reunite for real and she smiles at him- i thought they were going to kiss but they didn’t, but either way it was so precious and genuine it made me lose my mind)

this exchange in the disease center archives: “lots of files” “lots and lots of files” yeah <3

after they flee through the back exit of the archives escaping what seemed like the entire US military, they meet skinner at a little diner in maryland, with all things seemingly forgiven between them

how he holds her after she learns melissa passed away, and how they both agree that they need to get back to work in order to keep them from going mad with grief (they were both in mourning at the same time- his dad's death was still very recent- and it is so touching to me how they were there for each other at every step)

they way they glance at each other while the “psychic” stupendous yappi is making incredibly vague claims about the killer at the crime scene in episode 4 (omg... does anyone have this gif?)

(and when the psychic claims that mulder has “negative energy” and needs to leave the room, she leans in and says “i can’t take you anywhere)

later in the episode, he comes in with the news that the item at the crime scene was made of chantilly lace, and he says “you know how i like it” in reference to the song by the big bopper. she makes the FUNNIEST face!!! it's a momentary mixture of horror and disgust before she composes herself. it is hilarious, i’ll see if i can find it. then she slaps a file on his chest and wishes him good luck in observing bruckman.

also, he is nearly killed in that episode, and scully shoots his would-be murderer- then they have one of those “comforting each other on the floor after nearly dying moments” that are like catnip to me

“imagine if it were true, scully. imagine if you could come back and take out five people who had caused you to suffer. who would they be?” “i only get five?” “i remembered your birthday this year, didn’t i?” <3 (from episode 5)

in episode 7, scully noticed that mulder had been carrying dental x-ray plates throughout their whole investigation, but never bothered to ask why because they were at the point in their relationship where such things do not need to be discussed

scully learning in episode 9 that she is slowly dying from the tests they performed on her while she was taken, and breaking the news to mulder- how he softly says “but you’re fine, aren’t you scully?” because he cannot bear to lose her (AUGHHHHHHHH) (and she confesses that she doesn’t know if she really IS okay… why do they place so much sorrow on her shoulders?)

mulder trapped on a ticking time bomb of a train in episode 10, calling her to say “scully, let me tell you, you haven’t seen america til you’ve seen it from a train” “DAMN IT MULDER, WHAT HAPPENED?!” <- lmaooo he has this constant Need to diffuse tension with a quip

scully is going through A Lot of Emotions in episode 11, and when it is time for them to go, mulder holds out her jacket for her to put on <3 and then goes and does the statement by himself as per her request so she can go “run an errand” (confession for the first time in 6 years), which he obliges without question

so much of the episode 12 dialogue: “mulder, you’re not thinking about trespassing onto government property again, are you?” “it’s too late, i’m already inside” (incredibly deep scully sigh) “well, what’s going on? what do you see?” <- yeah that’s them. if you’re gonna break federal law, at least tell her about it in depth.

scully sleeping with her phone on her pillow, waiting for another of mulder’s calls. when it finally comes, he’s going on and on about bambi and she is clearly displeased. finally, he asks “scully, can i confess something to you?” and she VISIBLY winces, with pain in her voice, but pushes through and says “yeah sure, okay” (this one KILLED me because she did NOT want to hear about his love life but she wanted to be a good friend... scully is so kind)

(and all he had to say was that he hates insects lmao)

((and how the episode starts with the two of them making a planet of the apes reference, then ends with bambi and dr. ivanov flirting by making a different planet of the apes reference))

mulder is losing his damn mind in episode 14, hadn’t slept for days, and was sneaking out to a crime scene. scully is so worried she tells him to stay exactly where he is and that she will be there soon so they can “work this thing out together, okay?” trying to talk him back into being himself, making sure he is safe... that's partnership <3

in episode 16, mulder gets in a car crash, but wakes up to find scully next to him in the hospital. he has a bandage on his head looking all pathetic, and she greets him with a smile. i wanted to bottle this moment and drink it like fine champagne.

their drive to north dakota after scully confronted the man who shot skinner and her sister- how tense that ride had to have been. what did they say? anything at all? i need to know, i need 10 fics NOW

and their conversation at melissa’s grave- how they both bring flowers, how he touches her shoulder, the way she shares her father’s friend’s theory that the dead speak to you from beyond the grave, which is a conscious. and how he, the man who is always pondering the meanings of life and death and what comes between, says honestly “that’s interesting. i’ve never thought of it that way” 

her falling asleep on his shoulder during the stakeout in episode 17; how he lightly taps her face to wake her up and says “i think you drooled on me”, which prompts a very fast and very embarrassed apology (!!!!!!!!!)

(also, pusher kept calling mulder "g-man" over the phone, so when they hang up he turns to her and calls her "g-woman" <3)

their very excellent coordination between scully grabbing the fire extinguisher and mulder using his jacket to douse the flames that episode

(and all the times in pusher they lean their heads together to share a phone <3)

when mulder has to go into the hospital to catch the pusher, he leaves his gun behind so he won’t hurt anybody- and he’s terrified and so is scully, so they look into each other’s eyes while holding hands before he departs

how she runs into action when he is in danger in the hospital; how she interrupts his game of russian roulette with pusher, and how she SCREAMS when he puts the gun to his head and pulls the trigger; that visceral "damn it, mulder!" filled with so much emotion in just a few words

how he fights the pusher’s mind control to prevent shooting her harder than he fought the mind control that made him fire at himself (!!!)

and after mulder escaped, having fired every round into pusher so he knew he wouldn’t hurt anyone else ever again, he watches as he is on life support. scully grabs his hand, having seen how terrified he had become, and tells him not to let this man take up any more of his time.

in episode 20, they receive roky’s fantastical report on his men in black encounter, which mulder reads aloud while scully lies on the bed of their hotel room, looking baffled (it is so CUTE!!!)

waking up to mulder in her room soon after that, having been under some mind control influence the night before, wondering why he was in there, and mulder trying to explain no, she actually invited him in!!

walking into the bait shop together in episode 22, sharing an umbrella while she holds the dog's leash <3

mulder offering to join her walking her dog, but she smiles and lifts up her jacket to show her gun and says she’ll be fine 

the whole conversation on the rock, but some highlights include “hey scully, do you think you could ever cannibalize someone?” and how she compares him to ahab (they’re both “so consumed by your personal vengeance against life, whether it be its inherent cruelties or its mysteries, that everything takes on a warped significance to fit your megalomaniacal cosmology”, which he responds to with “scully, are you coming onto me?”)

but then he gets very serious, talking about how he wishes it were enough to just Persist Despite It All and be free of expectations, how he loathes that “you’re actually expected to make something of your life- achieve something, earn a raise, wear a necktie”, and he is the antithesis of ahab because he might be happier with a pegleg. and god, that one makes me emotional.

(and then they both quote a line from the book <3)

oh, and i could not finish this list without this banger from episode 23: “he’s lied to me from the beginning. he’s never trusted me” “scully, you are the ONLY one i trust”

(cue tears as scully collapses into her mother's arms) (cue tears at mulder's dogged persistence he could bring her back, but it took a mother's love instead) (and cue tears that such love had been extended to him by mrs. scully, so much so that she knew he would never, ever threaten her baby)

[waterlilyvioletfog]

10 CDramas I Enjoyed Enough To Recommend!

1. Nirvana in Fire (2015) — 5/5 ⭐️ 54 Episodes. This is genuinely as good as its reputation. It is a political palace drama and it is insanely compelling. My mom agrees that this is good. You can watch it on YouTube, but I recommend watching on Viki (which you can sign up with for free) bc cdramas on YT can have weird issues with audio + I’m pretty sure the versions available on YT are heavily edited to cut out Zhang Zhehan.

2. The Untamed (2019) — 4/5 ⭐️ 50 Episodes 🏳️‍🌈 Owns me. Censored BL low-xianxia setting. None of my family believe me about how good it is because they keep seeing out of context episodes and scenes. The Untamed is something you have to just sit through. It is a boiling frog situation. Beats out #3 despite being of lower quality (look. Those special effects…) because this is my best friend my silly rabbit my blorbo my love. My stinky cheese, even. Netflix, YouTube, and Viki.

3. A Journey to Love (2023) — 4.5/5 ⭐️ 40 Episodes. A mixture of court drama, wuxia adventure, and romance. So so so many dramas WANT to be this show, to balance court politics and wuxia shenanigans and epic romance but, frankly, only AJTL manages to perfectly balance all of its genres, plots, and characters. I cried watching the end. I watched this on YouTube, but it’s also on iQIYI.

4. Love Between Fairy And Devil (2022) — 4/5 ⭐️ 36 Episodes. Xianxia romance. Despite outward appearances of trite banality and overdone tropes, this show is gorgeous, insanely compelling, and will sit with you. My mom calls this “the fairy show :D”. Suffers in pacing towards the end, but sticks the landing. Netflix, Viki, iQIYI.

5. Word of Honor (2021) — 4/5 ⭐️ 36 Episodes 🏳️‍🌈 Wuxia adventure censored BL. Lead actor Zhang Zhehan is… a bit of a touchy subject, but I still consider this one of the best cdramas I’ve watched and I do still recommend it. Like LBFAD, pacing suffers in last quarter, but sticks the landing. Netflix, YouTube, Viki.

6. Lost You Forever S1 (2023) — 4/5 ⭐️ 39 Episodes. Xianxia reverse harem romance. Now that description may not sound compelling. But. Idk how to tell you this but I’m insane about this drama. Is it ~good~? I honestly can’t say. I’m insane about it. S2 is probably gonna be a flop and kill my love for it but for now? We’re riding high, baby!! YouTube, Viki, probably iQIYI.

7. The Rise of Phoenixes (2018) — 4/5 ⭐️ 70 Episodes. Court drama/romance. Actually you know what I DON’T recommend this. But like I DO need people to watch it so I have people to talk to about it with 🥺 Watching this is an exercise in masochism. It is gorgeous. It is insanely compelling. Watch like. The first 50 episodes because pretty much the rest of it is just [muffled screams]. Apparently it’s coming soon to Viki which is good bc it’s not on Netflix anymore 🙃

8. Couple of Mirrors (2021) — 3.5/5 ⭐️ 12 Episodes 🏳️‍🌈 1930s Shanghai censored GL romance. Hardly the highest quality, but it’s really fun, and you know what. Does a thing have to be good, historically coherent, and have two full seasons? Is it not enough for a show to be about lesbians??? Who are wanted for murders they may or may not have committed??? YouTube and Viki.

9. New Life Begins (2022) — 3.5/5 ⭐️ 40 Episodes. Fluffy court romance. Is this actually good idek I haven’t re-watched at all. What it is is a solid, serviceable, fluffy little het court romance with Feminism 101 undergirding it all. I liked it perfectly fine. There are many kinds of women and they should all be happy and free to pursue their passions!! Women who are friends!! And you know what? So true, cute little cdrama. So true. YouTube, Viki, iQIYI.

10. The Starry Love (2023) — 3/5 ⭐️ 40 Episodes. Xianxia romance. For the most part, a lighthearted comedic romance drama. It’s cute. It’s fun. It is sometimes comically low-quality, but it’s mostly charming and I like the visuals in general. The main pairing, while fun, doesn’t interest me as much as the secondary pairing or the friendship/sisterhood aspects of it. YMMV with this one. Viki and YouTube.

Honorable mention— The Blood of Youth (2022) Probably better overall than at least a few of these entries, but I’m just still so sad abt my favorite character dying :( Could be gayer.

[amyrlinegwene]

It’s become really apparent to me how TV has changed based on the shorter seasons.

I feel like so many TV shows want to tell really in-depth complicated plots, but they’re only given eight episodes (sometimes less). And this can work if you have a smaller cast, or you are very strict about who the core cast is, for example in succession, the core characters are the family unit and the secondary characters—the people who work at the company— are not given a similar level of focus, the actors do a really great job of conveying who those characters and what their motivations are, but they still leave you wanting more because ultimately, you know, you might get a hint of something in the script that you can’t go into in depth.

I think the problem is trying to fit a really complicated plot(s) in an eight episode season that also has an extremely large cast of characters that they want to focus on. I see this in Wheel of Time, I saw it in The Gilded Age too.

And one of the main ways I feel like the stories really suffer is that you don’t really get to sit with a story or the implication of things that happen like you do if there is a longer season. For example, there’s a lot of cutaways right after dramatic event instead of seeing peoples’ reactions and afterwards reactions are implied, or perhaps you skip an important scene altogether, and then just tell people that it happened. 

And I think there’s choices that you can maybe make as a writer or a director once or twice for a meaningful reason, but sometimes it happens so often it really feels like it’s only to save time. You didn’t want to see the character having in that emotional reaction for more than two seconds because you don’t have enough time the episode to focus on them, now you have to go to someone else’s plot. Or you skipped over that explanation/event to just have the character have already found out in the next scene because you know if they were to have that scene, it would take up at least a couple minutes because of course they would react to strongly to that news. But now they have known for hours/days etc so their reaction is stale and can be implied with a withering look or a long sigh and a quick mention to let the audience know that something happened.

When you have a large ensemble cast in a short season, there simply isn’t time to give everyone a meaningful plot all the time or there isn’t time to examine everyone’s deeper characterization as a result of their plot; this often ends up with audiences wanting more and writers relying slightly on stereotypes or character tropes to help round out the character in audiences minds.

I really hope the strike helps reverse the trend of shorter and shorter seasons for television shows, because while not every show needs to be more than eight episodes, many shows would benefit from the ability to have more time to tell their story. It is wild to me that a 12 or 13 episode season for a drama series is now a long season to me.

[starcrossed591]

CDrama Year in Review 2024

Another year, another crop of CDramas! I had less time for dramas this year than I'd have liked and still have a few that I'm finishing up, but am close enough to done that I feel like I can commit to rankings/reactions. I'm not sure that anything truly took over my brain this year, but there were still a number of dramas that I loved, so here we go! (And if you're also a KDrama person, you can find that list for the year here)

Disclaimer: Rankings based on my personal preference, not objective quality.

14) The Substitute Princess’s Love: I didn’t really have any problems with this inoffensive historical, but also wasn’t grabbed by it, either. Dropped about halfway through.

13) Fortune Writer: I liked the premise of this one—a villain who learns she is in a novel and is determined not to be killed off by the plot—but picked it up too soon while it was airing and wasn’t caught up in it enough to keep up with it. Dropped.

12) Follow Your Heart: I so enjoy so much of this rockstar cast, which includes Luo Yun Xi, Song Yi, and Ryan Cheng, that it was especially disappointing how much the script let them down. A remake of sorts of the KDrama The Beauty Inside, this drama features an ML with face blindness and an FL who occasionally shape shifts, which was fun at first but did not hold up for as long as it needed to to maintain any sort of real tension. It had maybe a little too much of a youth/idol historical vibe for me? I kept up with it for about 30 episodes, but even the beautiful suffering of Luo Yun Xi could not keep me hooked, alas. Dropped.

11) Different Princess—Definitely a lower budget drama, but I lowkey enjoyed this transmigration drama in which the writer gets stuck in her story as (of course) a female character supposed to be immediately killed off. Instead, she keeps herself has a romance with the villain initially supposed to kill her off, which I was very here for. There are certainly higher production value dramas with the same premise that do it better, but I enjoyed this one for what it was. I also always appreciate a drama that takes seriously the difficulty of a transmigrated character who knows she can’t stay and doesn’t know what that means for a relationship that she is really, truly invested in.

10) Snowfall—I really, really liked the first 15 episodes of this drama, but then I got distracted and just…never came back? That said, vampires in Republican China are an excellent idea, and I’m glad this story exists. Would still recommend if you’re in the right mood for a very gothic tragic vampire romance with gorgeous set and costume design.

9) Amidst a Snowstorm of Love—This drama is definitely relationship propaganda (affectionate), but I enjoyed it nonetheless, especially after the turmoil of The Princess Royal when I wanted more of Zhao Jin Mai. She’s lovely here as Yin Guo, and of course, Leo Wu brings his overpowering smolder even as a contemporary billiards player rather than a historical general. Although this drama has heavy doses of Finland-travel-ad and For-the-glory-of-China sports ball and I somehow know approximately zero percent more about snooker than I did when I started, I still really liked it overall and would recommend if you’re in the mood for a slice of life comfort watch.    

8) Are You the One—Look, will this drama blow your socks off? No. However, since Lost You Forever rewrote some of my brain chemistry and I am Zhang Wan Yi trash, I really enjoyed more time having him on my screen. Though it plays with domestic bliss, the setup of a general setting up a woman with amnesia as his “wife” to use as a bait for the bandit he’s trying to catch is pretty foul, actually, and the drama was at its best when it leans into how truly fucked up it is of Cui Xing Zhou to deceive Liu Mian Tang (played wonderfully by Wang Chu Ran) that way, especially when she at first trusts him completely and does her best to support her ‘husband’. I did kind of call the twist that turns it from a game of cat and mouse to a game of cat and cat fairly early, but the slow burn as they creep towards an entirely preventable tragedy was fabulous. I think it was a mistake to market this drama as a rom com, and even though it doesn’t ultimately end up a tragedy, very much appreciated the angst and situational irony that the drama put its characters through to get them to their well-earned ending.    

7) Love Game in Eastern Fantasy—I like this one! Esther Lu is charming as a modern day woman transmigrated into a video game version of a novel from her favorite author that flopped for her. As these things normally go, she finds cast as a villain she found supremely annoying upon reading, and she must get grouchy SML Ziqi (Ding Yu Xi) to fall in love her, along with a few other tasks, to escape the game. It’s pretty typical xianxia cultivator vs demon stuff, but the characters are fun to spend time with, the costuming and styling is gorgeous, and the it’s generally all around delightful. Full disclosure—I have about ten episodes left, but fully intend to finish as soon as I get the chance.

6) Fangs of Fortune—Another one I quite like but just haven’t *quite* had the time to finish. A fabulous found family/polycule just dripping in angst are at the center of this beautifully shot drama, and for the first fifteen episodes or so, I was totally riveted until life got in the way and I had to pause. Still, the cinematography is so gorgeous and distinctive, the characters and their tangled relationships are fantastically developed, and the OST is just as good. I’ve heard the last few episodes are a bit messy, but I’m really looking forward to finishing this one, too, as soon as I have the time.

5) Lost You Forever Part 2—I’m not even really sure what to say about this drama. LYF Part 1 was my top drama of last year, and Part 2 was always gonna be tough for them to put together, especially under current censorship restrictions and with the episode cap they were given. I did ultimately still enjoy it overall and would still recommend it because I loved Part 1 so very much, but will always sort of yearn for the drama it could have been had they been allowed to follow the path of the novel. Xiaoyao, Cang Xuan, Xiang Liu, and Tushan Jing are still some of my favorite characters to have encountered, and I look forward to what their actors do next. (If you’re interested, I…actually co-host a podcast where we did two episodes on LYFP2 analyzing what worked and what really, really did not, which you can find here and here.)

4) Will Love in Spring—A contemporary romance with some actually very adult characters whose relationship I very much enjoyed watching develop. Much more angsty than the fluffier Amidst a Snowstorm of Love, this drama features a not-always-likeable FL and ML who went to school together, but haven’t seen each other for years before they reconnect in their hometown. The ML is a funeral makeup artist, which was a fascinating to see, and the FL, though very well put together on the surface, has her own trauma to overcome because of her prosthetic leg. I really liked the small town setting as these two damaged adults manage to make their way to each other despite both being extremely prickly when rubbed the long way, and if the end is a little bit hand-wavey in it’s neat resolution, I enjoyed spending time with these characters so much that I don’t care.

3) Blossom—I’m not *quite* done with this historical transmigration story, but I’m close enough to the end to know that I love it. I love a realistically competent—and complementary—FL and ML, and Dou Zhao knowing the general strokes of the past she’s going back to but not the finer details of crazy political plots she wasn’t involved in is a clever way to keep viewers on their toes as well. I also really love the consistent refrain of Song Mo that he knows Dou Zhao will thrive on her own but could do even better with love and support. I also have appreciated many of the ensemble characters who have turned out just a little differently in Dou Zhao’s second go round, perhaps her little sister Ming’er the most (poor Ming). I’ve also really enjoyed Li Yun Rui in a male lead role, since I quite enjoyed him as a smartass SML in Love Like the Galaxy in my early CDrama days. Definitely recommend checking out if you haven’t!

2) The Grand Princess/The Princess Royal—This drama *just* edging out Blossom because of how much I adored and latched onto Li Rong (Zhao Jin Mai) a more bitter—and honestly more damaged—transmigrated FL than Dou Zhao. In this transmigration historical or was their first life all a dream, who’s to say, Li Rong and her prince consort husband/political enemy die on the same day, Li Rong of poison and her husband of the assassination Li Rong orders because she assumes he did it (oops). Li Rong and Pei Wan Xuan (Zhang Ling He) thus both transmigrate back to their youth before their politically arranged marriage, and in a delightful turn of events, recognize the other almost immediately because of their *Go strategy* (yes they are also giant nerds, actually), and decide to team up to prevent the tragedy that had ensued in their first lives and then go their separate ways. Seeing these two choose to grow together in this life rather than apart was a real treat. Did the SML get too much screentime in the second half, and could he have benefited from a stronger actor? Absolutely yes. Did it take away from my enjoyment of Li Rong’s rather profound emotional development as she chose to trust people she didn’t before? Not at all (or at least, only a little). The combination of political maneuvering, the mystery of just where Li Rong went wrong in her first life, and sweeping second chance romance all really hit for me. I adored this drama.

1) The Legend of Shen Li—I was absolutely hooked by this xianxia whose mature leads found themselves growing inexorably closer to each other even though the literal rules built into the fabric of the universe are against them. I adored Zhao Li Ying in The Story of Ming Lan, and she didn’t disappoint as demon general Shen Li, and she had such fantastic chemistry with Lin Geng Xin as Xing Zhi, the last of the old gods. I was all in for every narrative arc of this drama, from their domestic bickering in the first arc in which Xing Zhi is a sickly mortal and Shen Li is largely stuck in the form of a phoenix aka ugly chicken, to when Xing Zhi does his very best to pretend a complete lack of interest in Shen Li even as he can’t seem to leave her alone, to Xing Zhi absolutely losing it when he thinks Shen Li has been lost and defying the universe itself to try to find her, to their determination to save the demon realm even at the cost of their own lives. And (spoiler) their comfortable domestic bliss mixed with flirty, gender bendy shenanigans in the epilogue episode was such a treat. There may have been characters and moments in other dramas that I occasionally had stronger emotional reactions to, but this one was hardly lacking in emotional punch and was also the most solid from beginning to end. I would recommend it without reservations or caveats.

Favorite Female Character: There were a lot of female characters to like this year, but the one that hit hardest for me is Li Rong (Zhao Jin Mai) in The Princess Royal. She pretty quickly recognizes that her quest for power and single-minded mission to keep her brother on the throne in her first life came at great personal cost *and* failed to make her happy.  Her resulting determination to make different choices—often ones that make her more emotionally vulnerable—in her second go round at life made her really compelling. I appreciated that although Li Rong is inarguably a strategic genius, she still often completely misread of other’s people’s emotions and totally misunderstood how those emotions will affect their actions. I also loved seeing her relationship develop differently not just with her husband, but with the other female characters that she forms an alliance with early on. Li Rong Still ultimately chooses to trust those people again even after she has been so deeply betrayed in her first life by the people she loves the most in the world, which took tremendous strength.

Favorite Male Character: Look, I just loved that Xing Zhi (from The Legend of Shen Li), the last of the old gods and the most powerful being in the universe, just wanted to putter around at home and take care of his wife. He also had this undercurrent of amusement and good cheer even when he was annoying the heck out of Shen Li by needlessly following her around while also refusing to admit his true feelings even to himself that was really fun to watch. It was also nice that he was played by a fully grown man in his thirties rather than someone younger—Lin Geng Xin’s layered performance was a big part of what made this character who he was.

Favorite Secondary Female Character: Lost You Forever Part 2 had many, many weaknesses, but A’Nian’s growth from impulsive, bratty princess to an even-keeled, clever, far-seeing queen was not one of them. I’ve always been very fond of A’Nian (yes she is my icon, why do you ask), even before she really deserved it, but I was so obsessed with both her arc as an individual—she even led troops?? Successfully?? After obsessively studying The Art of War to prove that she can be *helpful*??—and in her relationships both with her sister, Xiaoyao, and with Cang Xuan. (Spoiler) A’Nian’s long awaited and longed for wedding to Cang Xuan that she realizes she no longer wants for herself but nonetheless must follow through with for the good of her country broke my heart.

Favorite Ship: This one was pretty close with the leads of The Princess Royal, but Shen Li and Xing Zhi from The Legend of Shen Li. They had such chemistry from the beginning (somehow even when she was a CGI chicken??), and I loved that they were played by/as grown ups making grown up decisions. They balanced the big, dramatic, end of the world scenes with quiet, domestic ones really well, and I loved that even though Xing Zhi was much more powerful than Shen Li (that whole last of the old gods thing), he always stood back and let her do what she was gonna do unless she asked him otherwise. (Spoilers:) The sequence that has stuck with me the most for these two is when Shen Li has been disabled and never knows which of her sense will work when she wakes up—sometime’s she’s blind, sometimes she’s deaf, sometimes she can’t move, etc.—and at one point, she wakes up with none of her senses working. After a terrifyingly indeterminate space of time in which she can’t see, hear, or move and feels trapped in her own body, she regains her senses to find herself leaning against Xing Zhi’s shoulder. When she asks if he’s always been there, he responds that he will “always be around,” and she answers, “Since you are always around, I will no longer be afraid” (giffed here by ladydynamie). For a determinedly independent and competent woman like Shen Li to be able to really lean on Xing Zhi, both literally and figuratively, really speaks to their dynamic and is part of why I loved them so much.

Favorite Secondary Ship: Shanguan Ya (Cheng Guo) and Su Rong Hua (Yi Da Qian) from The Princess Royal have got to be it. Li Rong’s total ignorance of their romantic tragedy in her first lift contrasted with their narrowly avoided tragedy in the second really hit for me. Their personalities also meshed so well, and it was delightful to see Rong Hua fall for the rule-breaking version of Shanguan Ya who disguises herself as a man to sneak out to gamble all the time, rather than her role as well-behaved daughter of a prominent family. Rong Hua falls both first and harder for his lady, which is a trope I love, and refuses to give up on her even when all hope is lost and she seems to choose another path. And not for nothing, a solid and sober Rong Hua showing up for a desperate Shanguan Ya in their first life with the line “In this life, I’m willing to descend into hell with you” is seared into my brain (giffed here by nunafilms).

Favorite Trope: Extremely competent women who do really well on their own but find that they’re even better with the right partner—Li Rong (The Princess Royal), Shen Li (The Legend of Shen Li), and Dou Zhou (Blossom) are three of the best examples.

Biggest Disappointment: I know I still ranked it rather high, but Lost You Forever 2 really was so disappointing. Giving us exactly what it would look like for Cang Xuan and Xiaoyao to tear each other to pieces after that pitch perfect buildup of Cang Xuan getting closer and closer to losing it whenever he feels like he might lose Xiaoyao….and then making it all out to be a drug dream was such a rug pull. I hate that I can’t recommend LYF now without big caveats about part two.

Drama from Another Year: I picked up Meet Yourself after Will Love in Spring when I was wanting more of Li Xian, and I was not at all disappointed. I’m on the record as loving female leads who are Flight Risks™, so of course I was all in for Xu Hong Dou deciding to quit her job and abscond to a small village in the country that she had always meant to visit. The beginning may be a bit fraught (I’m used to first episodes having a lot going on to get things set up, but oh boy was this one rough), but once things get going, I adored this quiet, warm-hearted drama. Each episode felt like spending time with friends, and I would recommend it both for the central romance and it’s fantastic ensemble cast.  

Dramas I Missed: It’s been a bit of a rough year for me professionally, so there were a lot of dramas I really wish I’d had the time for but just didn’t—The Doubleis probably the biggest one here. Other dramas I’m hoping to get to eventually are Liu Yu Ning’s Eternal Brotherhood and Heroes as well as Zhang Wan Yi’s The Rise of Ning. I still kind of want to check out The Story of Pearl Girl, even though I know it was a flop for most people, but looking at my to-watch list (as well as who knows what else will come out in the meantime), I probably won’t make it to this one for a very long time, if ever.

Dramas I’m Looking Forward To: Predicting when (if ever) CDramas will actually air remains a fool’s game, but: A Dream within a Dreamhad an absolutely fire teaser, plus I adore Liu Yu Ning; and Legend of the Female General is giving Ryan Cheng his big break as the ML—I’ve been rooting for him since his mini drama days with A Familiar Stranger. I’m cautiously optimistic about both.

[leedongwook]

“Petit Nail. Bar Exam Meal. Fried tofu rice balls. Ten square root of two. I remember everything now. Does this mean you’re all better now? Yes. I see. I’m so relieved. You’re better now? Then I can give you a beating now, you asshole. Hey! Why didn’t you tell me? I wanted to die multiple times a day. I cried, I cursed, and resented you every single day. How could you put a pregnant women through such a difficult time? You know why Ye Jin and Seo Jin are bad tempered? It’s all because of you, you asshole! If I ever saw you again, I was going to kill you. But you were unwell. So I just waited till you got better. Then I found out that you were in more pain than I was. I’m the one who was abandoned and hurt. So why can’t I resent you for what you did? Why did you have to suffer more than me? I’m sorry. I’m sorry, Mi Joo.” 

The good bad mother 나쁜엄마 // Episode 12

[khaopybara]

Top ten seductive/hot Ray moments according to you? 😊 You can just list them or yap about them. Whatever you want 🤗🤭

*Cracks knuckles* Anon, first of all, thank you for asking. In this dissertation, I’ll unravel all the moments Ray made me pause for a second or ten because he looked absolutely out of this world hot/seductive/enchanting/surreal. For the purposes of this, I’ll try not to overlap my Ray’s greatest hits with Sarah’s, who has already pointed out some excellent moments here. I agree with basically every one of her choices, but it’s not like we lacked on hot scenes from Ray. Because I’ll take every opportunity I have to gif Only Friends because at the time it was airing, I didn’t possess the skills to do a thing for the show, I certainly have a gifset queued for later this evening, and I hope it shows up 😀. Now, without further ado, let’s begin.

1. Checking Sand out after he lit his cigarette, episode 1.

Already starting by doing something I said I wouldn’t do, but listen, right when Sand walks off after lighting his cigarette, Ray just looks at him and checks him out with such a laid-back charm. You can clearly see he’s getting ready to hunt and his eyes are on his prey. Honestly, 10/10, no notes, super-hot.

2. Stop playing and tell me what you wanna tell me, episode 6.

If I’m not mistaken, SandRay only has three scenes in episode 6 and this one is the least angry one. Ray has been trying to reach Sand who has been actively ignoring him after the disaster at Sand’s apartment (when he was going to get birthday sex and instead got, I’m my crush’s second option). Suddenly, Sand contacts him and he thinks they’ll finally reconcile, but instead he’s faced with Sand trying to manipulate him by using his feelings for Mew. Ray ain’t stupid, he acts on his emotions quick and hot, but he knew he was being played, and right there when he sighs and rolls his eyes and forces Sand to go to the point? Quite hot.

3. Smoking in the bathtub with Sand, episode 11.

How do I describe this one? Maybe it’s the peacefulness in Ray and like, the genuine happiness from having cleared the misunderstanding with Sand and with no immediate issues in sight (we don’t count the substances abuses for this) that simply makes him glow. His hot score is high. His attractiveness score is high. Happy Ray makes him look hot.

4. Deal with him or I’ll do it myself, episode 12.

Possessive and mad Ray will always have a place in my heart. In this one, he was not only pissed, but he was also fucking insecure the man he recently realized he was in love with was going to ditch him for the hot muscular ex-boyfriend, and he still had in it him to say if you’re going to pick him let me know but if you pick me, deal with this quick or I’ll do it my way. So good.

5. The boy is mine, episode 2.

Ray being a little shit is one of my favorite types of Ray. In this case, it’s a good type of little shit because here he is making sure for the first time in his and Sand’s relationship that Sand will chose him before anyone else. The little satisfied smirk as Amm walks off because he won? Amazing. We love confidence.

6. Take the shirt off me, episode 5.

What a fucking menace, Ray Pakorn. He wanted to be fucked the whole day that day but unfortunately, Sand is working class man and had places to be and things to do. Doesn’t mean Ray can’t get his way, and he will get his way some way or another. When he told Sand to take his very tight shirt off him, I was already at the other side of the room screaming silently. I appreciate Sand’s self-control. I would have none.

7. Stop fooling yourself, Sand, episode 8.

I don’t know how many of you are traumatized by episode 8. For me, it’s pure suffering. Maybe it’s also because discourse that week literally anywhere was insufferable. But anyway, Joker!Ray is a nightmare. He’s drunk and high and very out of his mind but stay with me a little bit. The I can have feelings for as many people as I want thing? Problematic? Yes, but also kind of hot ¯\_(ツ)_/¯.

8. He could convince you to kill someone or at least help him get rid of the body with his eyes alone, episode 8.

Ray being a little shit has a certain charm, we must agree on that. You have to admit that you need a certain level of confidence and lack of shame to show up to the person you didn’t pick and say, “hey, how about you help me with community service, hun?” And Sand folded like a wet piece of paper, and do you know why? Because Ray had his best pleading for cock 🥺 eyes on, and he was so charming and so manipulative, and so attractive. (I mean, the poking thing? It’s endearing.)

9. Just Ray, episode 2.

I think this is a serious case of lone wolf hotness or something. There’s just something especially attractive about Ray being by himself near the pool, with his sunglasses and a flask.

10. Watching Sand, episode 3.

Sand knows for sure how to fuck someone good, because Ray followed this man looking for a round 2 since that morning they woke up together, and he was sure he’d get that when he invited Sand to play at the hostel’s party. He had eyes on Sand up until Boston reminded him he should have feelings for Mew or whatever. He’s just exhaling hot energy. Let’s never forget the scene we didn’t have of Ray throwing his cup after his “confrontation” with Top, too.

[zenkor123]

Katniss approaches Delly (October 3rd)

Katniss does not know how to approach Delly now that the mutt took away Finnick, and Annie  she asks him about Peeta hoping to strike up a friendship. 

The words come out involuntarily  

“What did you do to him?”  

“Peeta, I gave him the shovel to bury himself with”  Delly replies, smoking morphling. 

I apologize “sorry, I’m on  his rotation”

“I’m sure Peeta’s soo  happy about that” Delly says sarcastically 

“He chased me off the rotation” I shout, Peeta  wants nothing to do with me “he hates me”

“He does not hate you, he’s giving you what you want, didn’t you tell Coin you want him to leave you alone, he’s doing that, Peeta thinks he’s giving you what you want, everyone in 13 saw your exchange with Coin, including him, if I gave him the shovel, you gave him permission, he would not have been so eager as he is now if he thought people cared, we told him you did but then I saw the smile on his face when he saw the news report stating that we were all  wrong.  And I’ve seen your meals with Finnick, why on earth would he treat you nicely? He wants you to leave him alone, he doesn't trust you to help him with his episodes, why would he? “

“Coin sent him to kill me” I yell

Delly laughs “I don’t think he cares he’s to busy with the exposure therapy and  his ‘civic duty’ to 13 to treat you as anything more than an obstacle, he is dealing with enough if your not going to be helpful you should get out of his way” 

The guard who insulted me in front of district television walks by and yells “Delly’s right, hasn’t Peeta suffered enough? He shouldn't have to suffer you. Now, piss the fuck off! I hope you get your ass removed as guard” he continues walking. Delly says "He must have had a bad shift, also he's drunk on morphling" she is joking but her voice becomes serious.

“Katniss I know your suffering I’m so sorry for what I did to him, I’ll regret it for the rest of my life but seriously you consented to him burying himself, he didn’t even need to seek you out hoping  you would call him a mutt, and let him go, you even said “I don’t want him.”  And don’t say you don't care I saw you”

“I don’t care!” 

“I can’t help you then, Peeta is merely giving you what you want then, just like you gave him what he wanted, he thanked me and I wouldn't be surprised if he hasn't thanked you already. What he really is thanking us for is for forcing him ask " if I'm not Peeta Mellark, who am I now? What does it mean to be a mutt? Katniss you have to understand he believed us! It's terrible.

"Why are you smoking morphling" I want to storm off.

"my brother Arthur got killed in 2, he was training to be a medic, Prim was friends with him, he went right into a dangerous pass where Peacekeepers ambushed him"

"I'm sorry, are 13 year olds allowed in combat" I say, I am afraid for Prim

"The nurses say that this is frequently overlooked especially for healers from 12 and the other districts. I like morphling, its really not bad, you should try some"

"No!" I cry out

"Alright so I have to go to work now, best of luck with the rotation, Katniss, it was nice talking to you, I'm always here if you need anything"

[she-karev]

Maya Gives Birth (Maya x Carina Sweet Imagine)

Carina Gives Birth Here

Age Rating: 12+

Chapters: Two of Two

Fandom: Station 19

Ship: Maya Bishop x Carina DeLuca

Canon Episode: After Series Finale

AN: Happy Pride guys! For the last day of this pride month I wanted to do something special and what’s more special than the miracle of life? Here’s the final chapter that has Maya giving birth to her and Carina’s third child. Enjoy you guys and let me know what you think down below!

Summary: Maya gives birth to her and Carina’s third baby with Carina by her side.

Words: 1633

September 13th, 2028

“Good, you’re doing so good Bella, breathe deep.”

Maya breathes in deep sitting up in her hospital bed as her enormous pregnant belly rumbles with contractions. Today is the day she gives birth to her, and Carina’s third baby and she is starting to see why her wife was so cranky when she had Andrea.

When Carina brought up the idea of them having another kid once Liam and Andrea were fully potty trained, Maya instantly said yes to the idea. She even offered to carry this time knowing full well how scary Carina was when she was pregnant. A part of her wonders how she looks to her wife now that she’s the one with the hormones and the growing belly and contractions that feel like a gorilla squeezing her body.

Maya groans in pain and exhales as the contraction finally ends and their OB, Linda Perez, comes up from behind the blue curtain covering Maya’s legs.

“Okay Maya we’re almost there, your almost fully dilated we just need you to ride out the next contraction and then your gonna push.”

Maya whimpers at that, “Oh god another one!? Why does it have to be so painful? Why can’t it just be like an egg? You pop one out and wait for it to hatch, it saves so much time and so much pain for me right now.”

Carina chuckles, “It’s exactly how I felt with Andrea except I am an OB, so I know it’s the natural order of things. I don’t know why women have more complicated organs and why we have to suffer but what can you do?”

“I should’ve just masturbated like you said.” Maya says with regret while Carina wipes the sweat off her head with a towel grinning, “God why did I talk myself out of an epidural? How did I make life and death decisions on the job with that kind of thinking? Why did I let you talk me into this?” Maya asks Carina exasperated, “How did you not strangle me when this was happening to you? Aah!”

Carina rubs Maya’s arm in comfort still grinning in amusement, “If I recall you volunteered up front because you said it was only fair for me not to do this twice.”

Maya groans, “That’s right, you are extremely lucky to have such an understanding wife who underestimates her own pain threshold.”

“I know.” Carina states with a smile, “But for what it’s worth you’re handling this a lot better than I did. I know I was not easy when I was pregnant.”

Maya nods, “Yeah you were an absolute and beautiful nightmare. But sitting here now while my insides are in a vice grip, I realize you were reacting normally to this terrifying experience. Oh god how did you do this? How were you so sure you wanted to do this after seeing this up close so many times? How did this not scare you as much as it’s scaring me?”

Carina grins at her wife and smooths her blonde hair back, “That’s easy. At every one of the births, I helped deliver I saw the pain and the bodily fluids and the screaming that can pinch your ears in different scenarios every time.”

“And once again I ask, how were you not scarred for life?!” Maya yells out feeling more scared from Carina’s recollection.

“Because all of those births were different but the one thing that was the same was the ending.” Carina smiles tenderly at those memories, “When you hear your baby crying and everything stops. Everything changes and everything feels complete in that moment. And when you hold your baby against your chest where they belong…the most painful part turns into the most beautiful experience you can ever have. And I know this from experience too because I had you there to share that joy just like I’m gonna share that joy with you again.”

Maya sniffles at Carina’s words knowing their true. When Carina gave birth four years ago Maya saw the pain she had when she was pushing instantly shift into that of wonder and love once they met their baby. It’s the same feeling Maya had only instead of pain it was fear over her very cranky and hormonal wife. And that terror was so worth it because it made her love for Andrea grow the second, she saw her.

Maya swallows, “…Okay but once we get this kid is out, we’re good with three kids because I don’t want to do all of this again for the sake of my uterus and yours.”

“I was thinking the same thing.”

Maya sighs in relief, “Thank god.”

“Good then were in agreement.” Carina kisses the top of Maya’s head and looks at the clock, “Okay your next contraction is in ten seconds.”

Maya whimpers and faces Carina, “Hold my hand.”

Carina holds Maya’s trembling hand and lets Maya grip it as the next contraction crashes over her causing her to groan out in pain. Carina says words of encouragement hoping it will mend the pain a bit, but Maya can barely hear her over her own yells. Normally Carina would be behind the blue curtain with her hands inside a pelvis so she can catch the baby, so it feels weird to be on the other side of this journey. But it’s a journey she’ll cherish forever.

Linda pops up from the curtain, “Okay Maya you are at ten centimeters, it’s time to push!”

“Oh god!” Maya yells out in fear but does as the OB says and pushes. The pain causes her to scream while Carina holds her hand telling her to push that causes Maya to snap, “Don’t tell me to push I know I need to push!”

Maya pushes until she can’t and slumps back on the bed exhausted from her 12-hour labor.

Linda speaks once again, “You did great we’re almost there.”

“You said that last time!” Maya snaps and groans as the baby kicks around her uterus.

“Linda how close are we?” Carina asks causing Linda to look at them from her spot between Maya’s legs.

“It was a great push the baby is crowning so just one more big push Maya, and your baby is gonna come. You can do this Maya okay? Just one more push and your home free.”

“You better be right because if you aren’t I’m gonna jump over that curtain and slap you to the next century.”

Carina grins at Maya’s ferociousness and steps in to humanize her, “She means yes, come on bambina one more push I’m right here I swear.”

Maya groans but sits up again with Carina’s help and grips the bed handle and Carina’s hand knowing this push will take all of her strength and Carina’s patience.

“Okay Maya it’s time to push.” Linda tells her from her side, “Push!”

Maya pushes with everything she has causing her to scream out loud in pain as she feels the baby exiting her body. Carina holds her hand astonished by her monster strength but doesn’t complain, instead she encourages Maya over her screams and the whole moment feels like it’s lasting forever for both of them. Maya feels relief hit her for the first time in twelve hours and slumps back in the bed finally able to relax.

A baby’s cries call her however and she smiles as she looks up to find Linda holding the baby in her arms like she did with Andrea. Gianna is already crying her lungs out and looks just like Andrea did when she first came out, bloody, pink and beautiful.

Carina laughs in joy along with Maya, “She’s here, look at her.”

Maya nods and let’s go of Carina’s hand observing the baby Linda is cleaning, “I know. We make such good-looking babies.”

Carina laughs seeing that Maya’s crankiness has passed causing her to kiss her, “Yes we do, what did I tell you? Did it not just become a beautiful experience?”

Linda hands the blanket wrapped baby to Maya directly on her chest while Carina cuts the cord. Their daughter quiets a bit still wiggling as her moms look at her in amazement like they did with Andrea. Maya smiles at the life she grew in her own womb knowing how resistant she was to carrying a baby when she and Carina first got married. Now she sees that those reasons back then don’t matter now because this moment right now more than makes up for it.

Carina looks at the baby with so much love and tenderness she’s worried she’ll cry. For so long she wanted a big family filled with love unlike the one she had growing up. She wanted to break her family pattern along with Maya and they did. Even with their other children at their Uncle Alex’s and Aunt Jo’s Carina feels their family complete at this very moment with Gianna Deanna DeLuca-Bishop being the final piece they needed to have their dreams come true.

Maya laughs with tears in her eyes as their daughter begins to sleep on her chest and answers Carina’s question, “It is, it’s the most beautiful thing I ever did and it’s all thanks to you.”

Carina smiles at that and clarifies, “It was all you bambina, and me. This was all you and me.” Maya reaches up and caresses Carina’s cheek causing her to lean down and kiss her.

Maya pulls back and grins at her wife, “I love you.”

“I love you.” Carina says back and holds their daughter’s tiny hand in Maya’s arms connecting all of them as one. They look down at their sleeping daughter and enjoy this moment with the newest member, Gianna Deanna DeLuca-Bishop, completing their family and making them whole.

[the-meta-tron]

The Book of Lies: A Good Omens Theory

One of the thoughts I’ve had since watching and re-watching Good Omens Season 2 were all the references to the Book of Life. In the very first episode, Michael threatens that anyone involved with Gabriel’s disappearance will suffer extreme sanctions, aka the Book of Life.

Daniel 12:1: At that time Michael, the great prince who protects your people, will arise. There will be a time of distress such as has not happened from the beginning of nations until then. But at that time your people—everyone whose name is found written in the book—will be delivered.

Later that episode, we see Crowley and Beelzebub discuss the extreme sanctions:

BEELZEBUB: According to what I’m hearing, on a grapevine that obviously doesn’t exist, upstairs is seriously troubled by Gabriel’s disappearance. I’m hearing that anybody they find involved in this affair will be dealt with.

CROWLEY: How?

BEELZEBUB: Extreme Sanctions

CROWLEY: That isn’t actually a thing. That’s just something we used to joke about to frighten the cherubs.

BEELZEBUB: No, it exists! Extreme sanctions. Anyone found involved in Gabriel’s disappearance will be erased from the Book of Life. They won’t just be gone, they will never have existed.

This of course is the thing that pushes Crowley to help Aziraphale with Gabriel, to protect him from being caught helping.

Despite being a fairly serious threat, it isn’t brought up until episode six, again by Michael.

MICHAEL I am authorized to remove the name of anyone who helped Gabriel from the Book of Life. You will never have existed, Aziraphale. I am the Supreme Archangel.

URIEL: Duty officer.

MICHAEL: And I-

METATRON: Excuse me, I’m sorry. I must interrupt you there. Um... Oh, and I’ve brought over a coffee.

MICHAEL (not recognizing him): I don’t believe I asked for any interruptions.

METATRON: I couldn’t help it. You’re talking utter balderdash. I mean, complete piffle. You don’t have the authority to do anything like that.

So... that’s it? This Chekov’s gun, this ability of Michael’s (and Heaven) to remove anyone from existing past or present is just a bunch of bullshit? Was it all just a contrived and poorly-written plot device to get Crowley to quickly make up with and help Aziraphale in the first episode and then this scene in episode six is the clumsy way of resolving the loose thread?

It is possible, but I’d like to operate under the assumption that there is a different story happening here than the one initially presented to us. I could very well be wrong. But this is just a theory.

So I’m going to make a couple of possible conclusions based on what is presented two us in these two scenes.

The Book of Life can erase people from existence but Michael doesn’t have the authority to do so, and was bullshitting the entire time.

The Book of Life can’t erase people from existence and Michael knows that and was bullshitting OR doesn’t know that (and was probably still bullshitting).

I don’t think that the first conclusion is true, either, and simply because if Heaven did have the ability to erase anyone from existence or modify reality on such a grand scale, why have they never done it before? You could argue maybe they have and nobody knows because of the whole existence-erasure. But I would argue that even if that were the case, why would they use it in some secret, unknown situations and not in the situations we see play out on screen where erasing certain people from existence would actually be useful?

Take season one, for example. The whole triumphant ending of the last episode was that Crowley and Aziraphale tricked Heaven and Hell by swapping bodies so they could avoid execution. Why, if hiding an Archangel is sufficient for extreme sanctions like being un-written, is stopping the apocalypse not? Do we really think if Gabriel “shut your stupid mouth and die already” the Supreme Archangel had the ability to erase Aziraphale and Crowley from existence, he wouldn’t do it? If anyone in Heaven had the power to erase Aziraphale and Crowley from existence, they would have done it already.

One could argue maybe also Gabriel/the Supreme Archangel doesn’t have the authority, but then who does? The Metatron? Then why didn’t he let Michael erase Aziraphale from existence (or do it himself) instead of manipulating a loose canon like Aziraphale to come back to Heaven? If the whole point of splitting Crowley and Aziraphale up is to stop them from averting the Second Coming, again, why not just delete them if Heaven has the power to do that?

And going back to The Beginning, if Heaven really could erase any being from existence, even demons, why did they not just do that instead of having them all fall down? Why not just erase Gabriel when he nah’d the apocalypse instead of wiping his memories and demoting him, if Heaven didn’t want him to become an indication of an institutional issue? That would have prevented him from being a problem and retroactively undone his nah.

So, in conclusion: I believe the Book of Life can’t erase people from existence and someone was telling a lie before that piece of information trickled down to Crowley.

But it does raise the question, what does the Book of Life do?

Some might argue that the rules of world-building in Good Omens doesn’t have to follow scripture exactly, except they really like to.

According to the Virtual Jewish Library:

BOOK OF LIFE, or perhaps more correctly BOOK OF THE LIVING (Heb. סֵפֶר חַיִּים, Sefer Ḥayyim), a heavenly book in which the names of the righteous are inscribed. The expression "Book of Life" appears only once in the Bible, in Psalms 69: 29 (28), "Let them be blotted out of the book of the living; let them not be enrolled among the righteous," but a close parallel is found in Isaiah 4:3, which speaks of a list of those destined (literally "written") for life in Jerusalem. The erasure of a sinner's name from such a register is equivalent to death (cf. Ps. 69: 29, and the plea of Moses, Ex. 32:32–33).

In the Mishnah (Avot 3:17), R. Akiva speaks in detailed terms of the heavenly ledger in which all man's actions are written down until the inevitable day of reckoning comes. On the basis of the above-mentioned reference to the Book of Life in Psalms, however, or, according to another amora, of the plea of Moses, the Talmud states "three books are opened in heaven on Rosh Ha-Shanah, one for the thoroughly wicked, one for the thoroughly righteous, and one for the intermediate. The thoroughly righteous are forthwith inscribed in the Book of Life, the thoroughly wicked in the Book of Death, while the fate of the intermediate is suspended until the Day of Atonement" (RH 16b).

So getting erased from the Book of Life doesn’t mean you won’t exist anymore. It just means that you aren’t on God’s nice list anymore. The Book of Life is for those who are good and righteous, Book of Death is for those who are evil and wicked, and the people who aren’t wholly either exist in some kind of intermediate limbo waiting for future judgement. It’s the exact same structure that we see for the construction of Heaven vs Hell vs Earth.

Remember how we were talking about the Second Coming being the big set-up for the next season? Well, fun fact, the Book of Life also makes an appearance in Revelations from the Christian New Testament:

Revelations 20:12: And I saw the dead, small and great, stand before God; and the books were opened: and another book was opened, which is the book of life: and the dead were judged out of those things which were written in the books, according to their works.

Revelations 20:15: And whosoever was not found written in the book of life was cast into the lake of fire.

So if being erased from the Book of Life means being cast out of Heaven into a lake of fire, aka Falling, why do Beelzebub and Crowley care? They did that already. Crowley wasn’t that bothered by the concept of extreme sanctions until Beelzebub brought up the Book of Life. It means something to them. Maybe because they know what it really does?

Now admittedly I’m not 100% sure that this works with Beelzebub because they seemed pretty convinced that Michael was telling the truth in their conversation with Crowley. But that entire conversation was hiding a lot, because we learn later on that Beelzebub was after Gabriel the entire time to protect him.Their desperation wasn’t selfish self-preservation, but saving the one they loved.

Gabriel was told that he would remain an angel, but his memories of his time as Gabriel would be erased. As if after his memories were erased, he would no longer be Gabriel, just a 38th-class angel. Then, when he put his memories in the fly, Heaven couldn’t find them anywhere or find Gabriel at all. All Gabriel had done was store his memories in something from Beelzebub (something from Hell, from The Book of Death) and take an elevator to Earth, but to Heaven he basically disappeared. When Beelzebub described what happened to Gabriel, they said that he vanished. There seems to be a strong connection with Gabriel’s amnesia and his absence from Heaven, for Heaven to not know where he was once he forgot who he was. Remember, they only “found” him because of Crowley and Aziraphale’s miracle drawing their attention. And they only actually found him after Crowley realized where Gabriel stored his memories and Beelzebub returned them.

The Book of Life is more than just a list of names of people, it’s a record of their works. This sort of stems from the Mesopotamian belief that the gods kept records of mankind’s actions and destiny. In Good Omens Season 2, there’s a lot of emphasis on people’s memories. Gabriel’s missing ones are the focus of most of the plot, but we get important flashbacks woven in with the story in present day, Crowley and Aziraphale even make references to their past events in the current day.

A lot of people have also pointed out how Crowley seems to be suffering from his own subtle amnesia. He doesn’t seem to recognize Aziraphale in Eden when we saw them meet before the Big Bang. He doesn’t remember Saraquel but she remembers him and their nebula work. He knows he helped create the stars but not that he was responsible for Banging Out the Big Bang and Letting There Be Light. Later on, he doesn’t remember the specifics of the gravitational rules he helped write and was once geeking out over. He remembers fighting the war, but he doesn’t remember doing it alongside Furfur. In short, I think it’s very possible when angels fall, they forget things. Maybe not everything, but certain details. They forgot their good works. Crowley didn’t remember what he did very clearly, except for the thoughts and feelings that led to his fall. (I admittedly have no explanation for how this can be true and how Crowley can ‘remember’ Heaven’s password but so many other things seem to match up. Maybe Heaven’s passwords just suck).

Once Gabriel lost (hid) his memories, he seemed to disappear from existence to Heaven and Hell (something further perpetuated by Crowley and Aziraphale’s joint miracle). Even Crowley and Aziraphale hiding Gabriel altered the memories of other characters, like Uriel and Michael, who could barely remember even meeting Jim once they got back to Heaven. Forgetting and erasing/hiding seem to be parallels to one another, if not basically the same thing.

So to go back to my previous question: What does the Book of Life do? It’s a record Heaven keeps of “good” people and the “good” works they did. Erasing them completely from the Book of Life may not erase who they are and what they did, but it would erase the record and more importantly their memories of who they are and what they did (at least for Angels and Demons). It wouldn’t retroactively re-write the universe, but it would take away someone’s sense of identity and their existence. And if that person were an Angel, they would probably also Fall.

Which, to me, sounds like a pretty good reason for both Beelzebub and Crowley to be worried for their respective angels, right? They may know that Heaven isn’t threatening to literally un-write them from existence, but that their angel is in danger of suffering some kind of cruel and terrible fate where they forget fundamental aspects of who they are (maybe even the person they love?). Which is a different way of erasing someone than what Michael was threatening, but still fairly awful. Crowley, after learning about the Book of Life being involved, only cared about Aziraphale, which admittedly doesn’t mean much since he usually does that. But also, Michael only threatened to erase Aziraphale for his role in everything, not Crowley.

Maybe that’s because Crowley has already been erased?

It’s interesting how the show refuses to tell us anything about who the demons were before they fell. Particularly Crowley, who’s angelic name purposefully is a large hanging question mark. It could be because Gaiman doesn’t want to commit to a certain angel for Crowley to have been, or it’s intentionally vague because the whole point of Crowley’s character is that he isn’t an angel anymore. But it’s also interesting to think the reason why it hasn’t been said is because it can’t be said. From a metaphorical standpoint, Crowley’s name from when he was an Angel has already been blotted out.

Who whole idea of “existing” with Angels and Demons reminds me of this weird response Neil Gaiman gave one time:

The angel Lucifer doesn’t exist anymore. Now there’s just Satan, the Adversary. Like whatever made Lucifer an angel was erased, and Satan is what remains.

It doesn’t fit everything perfectly and there are still a lot of pieces of the plot regarding the Book of Life that I still don’t entirely understand. But I feel like I’m onto something with the themes that memory is linked to identity/existence and how that is linked to Falling, and that the ability of the Book of Life as it is explained to us by Michael (and Beelzebub) in the show is misleading in some way.

Anyway, this is just a theory I came up with while reading some other theories about season 2, and it’s all in good fun so please don’t take it too seriously.

[clonebrainrot]

Maybe basing how much I like a show off of how much anxiety an ending gives me isn’t the best idea, but I think it works for me.

When I say I suffer from bad anxiety I mean it. And shows ending usually just makes it all the worse. It did with Rebels and it did with TCW. I still get that anxiety with the bad batch being over. Especially when scrolling on tumblr or watching YouTube reactions.

But if I am not on tumblr or YouTube I am completely content with how the show ended and that’s the first time that’s ever happened. It’s a nice feeling to have for the first time since 2013. I know it means absolutely nothing, but it feels healing to not absolutely lose my mind over a show ending. And I think it’s due to just how the show ended. I think if any of the bad batch had died this season I would probably be feeling that anxiety build up. And no I am not saying season 3 was perfect it isn’t. But the last two scenes were perfect. And that’s what matters.

Even though I thought Tech was alive until episode like 12. I think I was mourning him regardless. And I am so glad we didn’t lose anyone this season.

I do think in another universe where the bad batch was 4 seasons long. Wrecker would totally be a goner.

It’s weird I think this is the first Star Wars ending scene where I can’t really find a problem with it at all. So thanks for giving me a piece of mind the bad batch something no Star Wars show has done ever I think.

[otomehoneyybearr]

Act 12

Episode 10: Decision Time

Working w/ Maybelle Lace

Note: As you read, you will see that some sentences highlighted in a different color, this is what they indicate.

Pink: Flashback

Blue: Characters are acting

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Tenma: I can’t believe a board member was behind all of this...

Banri: Shit. It’s been that guy, all this time.

Sakuya: Amadate...

Izumi: Are you okay?

Sakuya: It's hard to believe, but it's the truth...

Izumi: I'm sorry I didn't tell you earlier.

Sakuya: No, it's fine. It’s surprising, but I have to accept reality...

Syu: It's unfortunate that we're in a situation like this.

Zen: Originally, we planned to deal with it ourselves.

Hiro: Sorry for causing you trouble.

Kasumi: I'm sorry that we put you all in danger.

Izumi: There's no need, it's not your fault...!

Syu: But this is the seed we sowed. We were supposed to corner him, but we got outsmarted.

Syu: It may take a while, but we will definitely take responsibility and drag him out.

Hiro: You all of the next generation shouldn't become a repeat of what happened to us, the first generation.

Hiro: If you all become torn apart, you will just give him exactly what he wants.

Izumi: ——I see what you mean.

Izumi: But, let me just say one thing. We call ourselves the first generation and the new generation, but aren't we all a part of the same Mankai Company?

Izumi: We can't just leave these matters to you guys.

Izumi: The new generation has faced a lot of hurdles up until now, but each time we all talked it over and worked together to get through it.

Izumi: I am sure we will be able to overcome it this time too.

Izumi: The new generation has strong members, and if we work together, we'll definitely be able to beat any opponent.

Banri: You can't just make the first generation look cool while ignoring us.

Tsumugi: We’ll fight too.

Tenma: Let us help you.

Sakuya: With all of us together, we will never lose!

Izumi: Once again, I would like to ask for everyone’s cooperation on this.

Izumi: As the general director, I will absolutely protect the Mankai Dormitory and Mankai Theater, where everyone's home is.

Izumi: So please, lend us your strength to overcome this crisis!

Sakyo: Obviously we’ll help.

Masumi: We'll do anything.

Yuki: Naturally.

Homare: Leave it to us.

Muku: I will do whatever I can to help!

Juza: I won't let ‘em hurt something important to me again.

Citron: If push comes to shove, we'll mobilize an army!

Itaru: How strong.

Guy: That may cause a diplomatic issue.

Syu: But there’s one thing we should be cautious about.

Syu: If the performance is canceled, the audience won’t be harmed, but the theater company members are a different issue.

Syu: Unless the troupe is disbanded, they will come after the troupe members. Nowadays, Amadate will stop at no lengths as long as it is a means to an end.

Syu: We won’t know what he’ll do next if he realizes that we’re still active despite canceling the performance.

Yuzo: We have to be very careful so that things don't end up the same way as they did before.

Izumi: ...

Izumi: (That's true... If the theater company continues any longer, everyone will be in danger.)

Izumi: (I don't want us to fall apart, and it's frustrating to have things go the way he wants...)

Izumi: (But in order to protect everyone, we may have no choice but to disband.)

......

Board Member A: I would never have thought that a theater company with so much promise would suffer such misfortune.

Board Member B: Their performance was supposed to start tomorrow, correct? The situation seems quite hopeless for them...

Board Member C: Do we have any more details on the situation?

Board Member D: There haven’t been any announcements from the theater company yet.

Board Member A: Hmm, I wish there was something we could do to support them...

Amadate: It's a tragic incident, however the board of directors can't support any particular theater company...

Chairman: ...

Chairman: Let’s move on to today's agenda. We will introduce our new board member candidates.

Reni: ...

Amadate: So the Chairman's recommendation was Kamikizaka.

Reni: ...

Amadate: ...What’s wrong?

Reni: ...It's nothing.

Chairman: Now then, each candidate, please give a brief introduction.

Board Candidate: That is all. Thank you.

Chairman: Next, is Kamikizaka.

Reni: I am Reni Kamikizaka. I am the founder and director of the GOD Troupe.

Reni: ...Having been in the theater industry for a long time, I know that the theater world is not as pristine as it seems.

Reni: I, myself, have engaged in acts that touch upon taboos that made me lose sight of myself just to surpass or undermine other theater troupes.

Reni: And I continue to regret those actions.

Reni: But that’s precisely why I want to dedicate myself to the actors and theater groups who earnestly devote themselves to the stage.

Amadate: It takes courage to confess your own mistakes. I am curious about the details of this.

Amadate: But do you really think someone who has made mistakes can get votes?

Reni: Because I can never change what I did in the past, I want to sincerely dedicate myself to the future of the theater world.

Reni: ...And I vow to never overlook the presence of those who, like me, have made such mistakes and lurk in the darkness.

Amadate: ...

Reni: (However, since the deal with K fell through, I can’t continue the plan to expose Amadate.)

Reni: (After all, he’s a tricky opponent. I’ll have to work more carefully than I did before.)

Reni: (But I won’t give up. I WILL break his stronghold.)

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Prev | Next

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[whathehe11]

Spoiler for heartstopper season 3

Here are my thoughts

Over all I loved the season. It’s been such a fun watch (I say after being emotionally devastated after this season). And I can’t wait to see more!

1. Im glad that they didn’t have Imogen and Sahar be together. I like that they show that it’s normal and ok to want to be friends with someone instead of dating them.

2. Isaac, my beloved, I related to him in so many ways. I love that we got to see more of him.

3. Michael is absolutely adorable. 10/10 my compliments to the chef.

4. I really wish they waited a bit more to be able to get Olivia Colman in. The season felt off without Sarah Nelson. Especially since in the comics she plays such a large role here. (Also I just love Olivia Colman)

5. I related to Charlie in this season, even though I wish I didn’t. I will say some things I found were better done in the comics, but still it was well done and Joe did a really good job.

6. Kit pulled at my heartstrings so much. His break down scene with Tao broke me to bits. Also kit is hands down one of the best actors of his age.

7. I wish we got the scene where nick stays over at Charlie’s place. The scene where Charlie says “today was shit” it just felt like it was missing. Idk, maybe I like it when characters suffer.

8. I wish the episodes were a bit longer to give us time to breathe.

9. Like the previous season, there were times when the dialogue was a bit clunky but it wasn’t as distracting as season 2.

10. My favourite season is still season one but season three comes in at a close second.

11. Tao and elle figuring things out was really nice after everything last season.

12. Im low key sad we didn’t get to see Charlie’s outfit for the summer fête from the comics. That outfit was iconic and I feel like the show version wasn’t quite goth/edgy enough.

[absolutebl]

This Week In BL - GMMTV Holds the Line

Feb 2023 Wk 1

Being a highly subjective assessment of one tiny corner of the interwebs. Organized by which ones (in each category) I’m enjoying most.

When they say “famous last words” this is what they mean. 

Ongoing Series - Thai

My School President (Fri YT) ep 10 of 12 - They are so stinkn’ CUTE as bfs. Possibly the cutest. I chuckle a lot with this show. And that’s great, very serotonin inducing. Also 2nd half had good soapy drama tension with the music competition + the mom’s surgery at the SAME TIME (gasp). Can’t wait for next week.

Moonlight Chicken (Weds YT) 1-2 of 8 - Oh it’s great. Messy gays struggling with both internal and external conflict. It has a Taiwanese gritty queer authenticity to it. EarthMix are perfect for these roles. Khaotung is the most adorable thing ever. And GeminiFourth are fun to see as new characters. Fourth is showing off his acting chops, the way he holds his jaw and mouth for this more sullen complicated part - it’s completely different from Gun. His acting style reminds me of Nanon a bit, he’s very nuanced in his facial expressions.   

Never Let Me Go (Tues YT) ep 9 of 12 - 15 minutes of cute bf and dumb tattoos and then SUFFER! I love how quickly Palm put to rest your bog standard gay boy fantasies about a bisexual’s options. Palm was basically: “All the things that you dream for me with a woman, I can do that with you.” Honestly? I wasn’t that moved by the noble sacrifice of this episode. It was fine. More peril please. Looking forward to things going very very badly for the next couple of episodes. Bring on the pain GMMTV. 

Hit Bite Love (Sat YouTube) ep 3 of 6 - Baby Dom is quite the kink dilettante, I don’t think I’ve ever seen a kinkster with more varied tastes. Maybe baby just hasn’t found his true fetish yet? I feel for poor Shogun who just wants a boyfriend who treats him decently and ends up with Mr. Experimental. The humorous outcome is, of course, predictable. Not wild about the stepbrothers storyline (despite my taboo preferences). Really? I just want more King and Burger.

609 Bedtime Story (Fri WeTV) ep 11fin - With the exception of Mum, every character suddenly started acting totally OUT of character. Anygay, Mum comes back to find Dew single and all obstacles to their romance magically cleared. The pub staff setting them up was cute. But all in all it felt like we were suddenly in a completely different show. Series review below. 

I cannot believe we have 3 BL’s airing AT THE SAME TIME from GMMTV. It’s insane. I remember when it was exciting because we had 3 BLs airing at the same time at all.

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

HIStory 5: Love in the Future (Taiwan Weds Viki) ep 7 of 10 (or 13&14 of 20) - It’s an office romance BL, so I like that office politics is complicating matters for both of our couples. I personally don’t believe in scions (with very few exceptions, we know it tends to be bad for a corporation, and that has certainly been my experience). Still, it’s suitably traumatic to see our couples in angst over the power transition. The confession scene for the leads was very sweet. And a nice kiss. And cute bf. Taiwan always just does these beats better than anyone else. 

Candy Color Paradox AKA Ameiro Paradox (Japan Fri Gaga) ep 8 fin - K needed to realize O is a big boy. Yes we get it. Bummer he couldn’t figure out that for himself and had to be told by somebody else. I do feel sorry for the bartender character who keeps having to deal with all of these gay boys and their inability to communicate and resulting overdramatic depression. Meanwhile O needed to realize K needs him. And they both needed to learn to communicate, these… journalists. Good kiss and decent sex scenes for a JBL, with an HEA. Careful Japan we may start to develop expectations. I bumped up my rating on the strength of this finale. It was good! Series review below.  

Individual Circumstances (Thurs Viki) 7-8fin - I like the resolution and explanation for the conflict, a lot more than I liked the conflict itself. The kiss wasn’t awesome, but it wasn’t entirely dead fish either. However, Korea has proved that it can do better, so I was annoyed by it. Also, no shirtless scene this time around, we were robbed. Series review below.

The End Of The World, With You AKA Bokura no Micro na Shuumatsu (Japan Sun Gaga ep 2 of 8 - This is way too high heat for them to end it happily. It’s all v weird. I guess I’ll keep watching? Even if everyone dies, this one is not gonna ruin me the way Eternal Yesterday almost did.

It’s Airing But I’m Not Watching it 

My Beautiful Man S2 (Viki & Gaga) - Because there are only 4 episodes, I decided to wait and binge this one. What can I say? I just do not trust Japan. Sorry I’m too scared, those of you braver than I must watch first - I salute you and look forward to the gifs.

Egoist (Japan) cinema - Japanese movies are notoriously difficult to get ahold of.

Marry My Dead Body AKA Ghost and I Becoming Family (Taiwan) - movie about a police officer forced to marry a ghost.

Cafe in Love - Can’t find it 

Finished this week

609 Bedtime Story 

An interesting time slip concept and a great set up ultimately disappointed. It opened strong, on one of my favorite under appreciated Thai actors: Plustor (as Vee) in a side bartender romance with younger bisexual king, Games. Unfortunately, it went downhill from there. OhmFluke’s solid chemistry and romantically soft kisses were ill served by a reformed rake meets rich-kid cheater pairing. While it was nice to see Ohm play a part with more animated facial expressions, his was the only character that remained consistent. All in all, this was a confusing show about disloyalty and parallel worlds that never made sense or stayed true to its characters. A promising start, confusing middle, and disappointing end. I don’t say this lightly, but Oh My Sunshine Night is better, and OhmFuke deserve better than either. 6/10

Individual Circumstances 

A second chance romance between a movie director who was once promising and a writer who disappeared due to past hurt. Stars JunQ (main rapper of MYNAME) and Han Jung Wan (Mr International Korea winner). Reunion romances are not my thing but I liked the bratty director despite his stalking (and prob because of his naked chest). Using a guitar to torture someone is entirely appropriate, in my book/BL world it happens all too often. I did want to know what happened in the past but the mystery got drawn out too much and the tsundere character became frustratingly mean spirited as a result. I like the resolution and explanation for the conflict a lot more than I liked the conflict itself. I could tell what this show wanted to be, and what it could’ve been, but it simply never got there. In the end, like a host of other KBLs over the last couple of years, it is serviceable but eminently forgettable. 7/10

Candy Color Paradox AKA Ameiro Paradox 

Innocent but talented gay tabloid journalist partners (and falls in love with) a jaded player bisexual cameraman. This is a solid JBL of the more emo, cringe, and navel gazing variety that never really resonates with me. The main pairs’ chemistry felt weak and their characters were pat (for live action yaoi, I’ve seen or read this couple a million times). Bringing Izuka Kenta in to guest star was a stroke of genius and also challenging, because he has a complex history with JBL which I could not forget as I watched him EAT up the screen so hard he made the leads feel insipid. There were a lot of aspects of this show that felt more KBL than JBL. I missed the kinky edgy pushing boundaries we usually get from Japanese office romances. It did have a stellar ending (featuring a decent kiss and 2 nice sex scenes, you go Japan) but for me CCP was fine, just no more than fine. 8/10

Look you know how I feel about JBL, when it’s good it’s some of my absolute favorite (Seven Days, Old Fashion Cupcake, Minato’s Laundromat, Takara & Amagi), nothing else whips me into wit and eloquence and film crit like it, but when it’s off, for me, it’s really off. And Ameiro never gelled with me. It was too much work to watch. I don’t like chewy BL - nourishing and necessary though it may be for others. 

Gossip

Issues and Controversies of Thai BL Actors - I get asked about these a lot, so I’m just gonna point you all at this YT henceforth.

Viki picked up Boys Planet so I’m watching it. I have FEELS but I’m not going to ruin a perfectly decent BL blog with Kpop reality TV, no matter how pretty. Just know I’m over here suffering for 4 hours every week. SUFFERING. Some of the singing during the first ep alone was SO BAD it put Thai BL boyfriends to shame. I am so glad they got 3 vocal coaches in this show. People better vote with their goddamn ears and not just (as they did with iLand) much lower down. (Oo, I’m salty already.) 

In Case You Missed It

Feb releases list is here.

2023 forthcoming BL master post. (see comments some are inaccurate, NOT UPDATED)

Next Week Looks Like This:

I am so spoiled these days, now I’m upset there isn’t a good KBL airing right now. Do you remember when we barely got one or two a year? What a demanding monster 2022 turned me into. Anygay, 4 more Thai BL starting this week... 

Destiny Seeker (Tues WeTV ) 1 of ? - Feb 14 we think, MDL is janky on this one. Engineering student Songkram is head of dorm 3, for "strong & athletic" students. Aye is head of dorm 2, for the "good looking" students. Aye used to be Songkram's tutor and friend, but they fell apart after becoming dorm heads. Aye is actually in love with Songkram but thinks Sonkram likes someone else. Songkram actually likes Aye. So, Bad Buddy the pulp rebirth meets that weird Japanese “girls-crossdressing-as-boys for love and infiltrating secret society of hotness” tradition. 

Boyband (Thurs YT) 1 of 10 - Feb 16, it’s on the tin, BL drama about putting an idol boyband together. AKA how to make ABL suffer by combing favorite (celebrity romances, Kpop) and least favorite (bad singing) tropes.

Bed Friend (Sat YT & iQIYI uncut) 1 of 8 - Feb 18, but we’re looking for the rerun/uncut, so not sure on drop date for those. Fuck buddies get messy, AKA Between Us the second cuming, this time in an office (and on a desk). I have been waiting for James to hold down (or be held down in) a BL for years! Watch out, new kings of high heat are heading our way. 

Chains of Heart (Sat Gaga) 1 of 10 - Feb 18 Suspense thriller about a forest ranger, smugglers, memory loss, and lost love. Stars Haii (Cirrus in TT2) and Poppy (Porpla in YYY). Adapted from a Y-novel of the same name by TJ Tommy. 

Supposedly, but I’ve no idea where to watch it:

Jack Frost (Japan) - Feb 17 After saying goodbye to his friend, Ritsu had an accident and lost his memory. His roommate, Ikuya, struggles to rebuild their relationship and help him regain his memories. In the process, Ritsu falls in love with Ikuya, but he was unaware that they were already in a relationship.

Moments Of Love (Thai) Feb 14 Foremorfilm Production movie for cinema release. Was originally Golf (Director of 609 Bedtime Story & The Eclipse) to direct stars SmartJames (LeonPhob from Don't Say No) in a series. Is now something totally different and a movie. We are all confused.

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS

Open boys are the best boys. Never Let Me Go

Moonlight Chicken with ALL the zingers, plus verse characters. Thank you GMMTV! 

Why so cute indeed. My School President 

(last week)

Current Kpop earworm? Villain by Key (Shinee) just on hard rotation. It’s great.