#they can also just casually forget to mention that bruce is old enough to be the love interest's father

[chocolateteapotsvis]

This has next to nothing to do with the latest chapter of Missing You in the Soulbond, but I just can't get over Batman: Masque. From the timeline, we should be due for Batman: Love Never Dies any day now.

[ectonurites]

hey! how knowledgeable are you on stephanie brown? because i got in a bit of an argument with a dc fan on reddit who claims she's all these awful things, but im still relatively new to steph and i want to see what was true and what wasn't. link to screenie right here: https://ibb.co/vh6CYCJ

these may be matters of opinion, but even then, i'd like to know your take. i haven't read her firsthand often enough and i trust your judgement over this random redditor who seems to have some sort of blonde-woman related trauma left untapped.

I'm not necessarily the most knowledgable on her in the world, but I do know a decent amount because she's one of my absolute faves and I love her

But ohhhh boy that screenshot is a lot.

I will say that several of the things this person brings up are based in canon but are taken in the worst faith and framed in the way that makes her look as bad as possible, if that makes sense? It’s ripping things away from any context, because there's a very clear bias against her here.

I'll go through it point by point under the cut

First of all though before digging into this, I want to make it clear she was a 15 year old for the majority of the things this person is talking about. Like just pause for a second and remember she’s a 15 year old victim of abuse. That is something that I think factors into a lot of her behavior! Anyways, I kinda while doing this got into a ranty 'talking at you' format in response to the person who wrote all that, so don't take any of this as me yelling at you who asked the question/you anyone reading this.

"She always acted entitled" - Saying Steph is entitled is absolutely ridiculous to me. Stephanie grew up with a very unstable childhood due to her dad frequently being in prison and her mom dealing with a drug addiction, living in a lower class part of the city. Tim is entitled. I don’t mean that as like a bad thing about him, but he is based on his living situation, she is not. She has wanted life to be better for herself and her mom, and is determined about that, but she is not and does not act entitled.

(Secret Origins 80 Page Giant)

"and stubborn" - I will give you stubborn though, that one is true. She’s stubborn as hell! I don’t really see that as a bad thing though, pretty much every bat is stubborn?

"demanding that Batman and Robin accept her untrained ass" - Steph may have been untrained in fighting but she's shown to have exceptional gymnastics skills from the start, and at one point Bruce even says that with the right training she could be as good if not better than Tim (in Robin #88)! So like... her realizing she enjoys trying to be a hero after she tried it out to deal with her personal business, so she looks to the local experts… and is determined about it… how is that a bad thing? It’s also not like she walked up to them and said ‘im perfect as i am let me in’ what she wanted was a chance to be a hero. But she also wasn't even really looking for approval, either, not having Batman's blessing was never going to stop her. ("So excuse me if I don't jump when you bark, Batman." in Robin #16) Later when Bruce does bring her in to train (and she also gets to train with the BoP) she's excited! She’s stubborn about wanting to be in the hero business, but it’s not like she’s unwilling to work for it.

"advocating leaving criminals to die because they 'deserve it'" - She’s a 15 year old who grew up knowing firsthand how dangerous Gotham criminals can be because of her dad, of course off the bat when they’re in a dangerous situation where any of them could die (because that’s the context here, this is in Robin #35 where they’re trapped in some super dangerous snow) she thinks they shouldn’t go back for another criminal who just tried to kill them and should instead save themselves. But she also literally WITHIN THAT SAME ISSUE then says she realized she learned something after listening to Tim and trying to save the guy! In the same issue! Characters in a story aren’t supposed to be perfect from the start… they learn things along the way???

(Robin #35)

"trying to steal from the shops they just stopped from being burglarized" - She’s 15 and doesn’t have a ton of money. She was gonna take two sodas, and when Tim said not to do it she paid with very little fuss. They stopped people who were robbing the place at gunpoint for prescription drugs. If you can’t understand the difference in severity between those things like… I do not even know where to start. (this situation is in Robin #56 btw)

"forcing physical affection onto Tim despite his visible discomfort and repeated objections (not even stopping when he told her he had a girlfriend)" - This one I will give you because she did cross boundaries with all that! But I do also want to clarify that she didn't start coming onto him until after Tim kissed her first (in Robin #5) while not telling her he had a girlfriend. That doesn’t excuse her later actions but for the first issue that she’s coming onto him from her perspective he expressed interest and she was just returning it! She even specifically says 'Maybe I should pay you back for saving my life the same way you paid me' (in Robin #16) before kissing him. That first time she kissed him unprompted was under essentially the same circumstances he kissed her unprompted, and she literally did not know about Ariana until after the fact. From that point once she knew about Ari she definitely should have backed off and she didn’t, that’s a very fair thing to criticize about her as a character. But Tim lead her on first, and I feel a lot of people like to casually forget that when talking about this situation. The way this is phrased of ‘not even stopping when he told her-‘ implies she was repeatedly doing the bad behavior before he told her, which is not the case. She still did bad things here but don’t misrepresent the situation.

"And lashing out at Tim, her mother, and her classmates in violent fits of anger" - Every comic book character lashes out at other people for the sake of drama like, I dare you to come up with a well-known superhero character who hasn’t done shit like that to a partner/family/friends in a moment of high tension/stress?

"She treated the girls around her like they were stupid bitches" - frankly this ones a little too vague like, I'm not sure off the top of my head exactly what they're talking about? in that era right around her pregnancy and stuff I really don't recall her being mean with other girls? I could be forgetting something I guess but the closest I can think of is a bit after this period of time when she has the confrontation with Greta in Young Justice but that was Greta attacking her first, not the other way around.

"got insanely jealous if Tim so much as expressed concern about another girl" - Steph getting jealous and thinking Tim was cheating isn’t that crazy when STEPHANIE BASICALLY WAS THE OTHER GIRL DURING TIM’S LAST RELATIONSHIP? Tim has cheated a little bit before! Tim cheated on Ari with both Jubilee from Marvel (during a crossover thing where he even mentions Ari specifically so it’s not like this was out of continuity/a setting she wasn't an issue or something) and also with Steph. While most of the kissing between them was Steph coming onto Tim which I wouldn’t count as cheating on his end, he did still kiss her which I would count. Not to mention that the jealousy thing (I imagine they’re talking about the instance with Star, the girl who taught Tim to skateboard, this arc of stuff starts in Robin #80 and continues for a few issues) is happening during the time she’s dating him while she still doesn’t even know his real name. He literally has a whole other life she doesn’t know about, and is someone who has initiated romantic moments with other girls while in a relationship multiple times before! With that in mind I don’t think a 16 (she's def 16 by this point) year old girl being kinda paranoid about how he interacts with girls he might know in his civilian life is that unreasonable? The later big instance with jealousy is the Darla situation- where Steph sees Darla kiss him and gets mad about it (and doesn’t talk to him about it) and thats what prompts her to become Robin. The important thing to remember about Steph in this time frame is that DC decided she had to die and they wanted to make her Robin first to drum up more attention for that death. They were doing ooc things with her to set those pieces in motion, and that needs to be taken into account. I think her getting upset about seeing something like that isn’t even ooc, but her using it as motivation to become Robin and not even saying anything to him about it is. In the earlier instance where she’s upset/jealous about Star, she does communicate to him what’s going on at least a little bit on the rooftop after they’d saved her. She makes it clear the thing she was upset about is that she feels like she can’t trust him because she doesn’t really know him while he knows everything about her, and that’s why she thinks he’s cheating. Her reaction to the Darla thing is not in line with how earlier in canon Steph would have handled the same situation, because they wanted her to die and needed a way to explain her becoming Robin.

"and expressed that jealousy by accusing him of cheating and throwing things at him" - I just addressed the cheating stuff but the throwing things was fucking slapstick oh my god this is a comic book for kids/teens like. ah yes this is horrible abuse in this little funny montage of how Steph wants him to leave her alone because she’s mad at him and he refuses to give her space

(Robin #82)

I don’t think anyone at DC or even in fandom would/should try to argue she’s perfect, because she’s not! And I don’t want her to be because perfect characters are boring. Steph is flawed, Steph has been compared in canon to Robin-era Jason by Cass & Bruce

(Detective Comics #790)

And I think these highlight some of her very real flaws that are an interesting part of her character. These plus her stubbornness and determination are part of what makes her her.

And for fuck's sake the world was mean to her, and to act like it wasn’t is just blatantly ignoring a lot. A criminal father who made her life really difficult (‘when my dad was mad at me he’d lock me in the closet!’), that time she got kidnapped for two weeks and her mom had left her (a 15 year old) alone at home so long she didn't even find out it happened (in text Steph says Crystal was visiting friends, a lot of people interpret that as her mom possibly being in rehab for her addictions again), that whole thing about how one of her dad’s friends tried to sexually assault her as a child, also just how due to her dad's work sometimes criminals would be living in their house (Literally the fucking Riddler at one point!), the fact that we as an audience watched her get tortured for several days because a plan she tried to enact to prove herself backfired since Batman didn’t trust her with important information (something Selina even calls him out on in her internal narration), like… sorry but in what way is all that not the world being mean to her?

She was Robin, she dated Robin, she likes Eggplant (because purple would've looked stupid), and makes jokes. She’s also impulsive, headstrong and determined, and wants to prove to herself and others that she can be more than just the daughter of a shitty criminal, that she can actually be a force to do good in the world.

She’s a complex character, and nobody is required to like her, but to act like she doesn’t have a single redeeming trait is ridiculous. You could write a paragraph like that with the worst moments of basically any character and make them look like shit if that's what you were setting out to do.

[butwhyduh]

The Batmobile

Jason todd x reader

Warning: angst, fluff, smut, it’s fucking in the fucking batmobile 🤷🏻‍♀️😏

It was a whole year ago that you found out about Jason being Red Hood. He had left a spare helmet in the back of his closet and you had pulled it on top of you when you grabbed a hoodie. After mentally freaking out, Jason had gotten you a bag of ice for the knot on your head.

It took a whole freaking year of knowing his secret and almost 2 years of dating for you to be invited to the Wayne Manor. Okay, actually Bruce had invited you within the first 6 months of dating. Jason was the one who wanted to keep you a secret.

You spent a good 2 hours looking through your entire closet to find something to wear. What the hell do you wear to dinner at a billionaire’s house? You relaxed a little when you saw Jason wearing plain jeans and a hoodie. Okay, yeah good. Casual was better. Not to mention that you were taking a motorcycle there.

You arrived in skinny jeans and a leather jacket that felt like a protection. You could act like a punk and most people won’t touch you. Especially when Jason had the scowl he was currently wearing. You followed his eyes to see the unmistakable form of Bruce Wayne in the drive.

Did Bruce specifically find children that resembled him? Much like Jason he was tall and muscular with dark hair and as you got closer you could see he also had blue eyes. He had a few wrinkles around his eyes and grey in his hair that seemed to add to his beauty rather than take it away. You’d never met a billionaire before.

“Hello,” Bruce said.

“Hello.” You shook his hand.

“I apologize for not having you over sooner but Jason seems to have wanted to keep you a secret,” he said with a tiny smile you almost missed.

“I wonder why,” Jason whispered sarcastically. Bruce ignored it. “Hello demon spawn,” he said and you gasped at the person you hadn’t seen before standing only a few feet from you.

“Damian Wayne,” he said with his hand out to you. You shook the young man’s hand and stated your name. He was only a inch or two within your height despite his youth and heavily resembled his father except for his deep olive skin tone and green eyes.

The door opened and a voice called out, “perhaps you should bring your party inside the manor. It will be snowing soon.” The polished English accent must have been Alfred.

Bruce moved to the side and you all walked in. Alfred had walked to the dinning room. The hallway had deep polished wood walls and was dimly lit by candles on candelabras. As you walked towards the room, a warm body grabbed your hand and you shrieked.

“Sorry! Sorry!” He said releasing your hand. You flushed, embarrassed. “I thought you saw me. I’m Dick.” He rubbed the back of his neck with his hand.

Jason grasped your hand and stepped towards Dick with a look of murder on his face. You put your hand on his shoulder. “It’s okay. It was an accident,” you said with a little awkward laugh. Jason relaxed a little.

Alfred stood in the doorway to the dinning room with a small smile. He gently cleared his throat and you all followed him in the dinning room. It was then that you truly took in the beauty of the house. You had been too nervous about meeting his family when walking in.

The room was breathtaking. A long mahogany table was lined with emerald tuffed chaired and heavy gold curtains over the windows. The wooden floor gleamed and you noticed that your feet were the only ones making any noise as you sat down.

“Hello master Jason. It’s nice to see you here again. And you must be y/n. I’m glad he finally brought you around,” Alfred said quietly, shaking your hand. “Excuse me, I must serve dinner.”

A lovely smelling soup was placed before you all and water and wine was served. You watched as everyone ate. Bruce ate casually while Dick animatedly told a story. Another brother, Tim, shook your hand across the table before eating and typing away on his phone. Jason stared at Damian while eating and the teen glared back. You put your hand on Jason’s knee and he seemed to relax a little.

“I need to speak you, Jason, about work after dinner,” Bruce said casually. All of Jason’s tension came back.

“Not today,” he said. “We can talk later.”

“Well it’s quite important WE business,” Bruce said and everyone at the table watched the two closely.

“Is that why we came over? For you to talk business?” Jason said. He almost had a grimace on his face.

“Of course not. We wanted to meet your girlfriend,” Dick interjected. Jason ignored him.

Bruce finally spoke. “He’s right. We can talk about it later. Tell us more about yourself, y/n.”

“Oh, uh...” you said quite put on the spot. “I’m a photographer.”

“You should have brought your camera. The courtyard can be very pretty in the evening,” Bruce said. “Do you work for a newspaper?”

“Of course she doesn’t,” Jason scoffed.

“I don’t. I mainly take portraits but I have been taking urban photos lately,” you said. “Like the effects of urban areas. I mean-“ you felt a loss of words to describe what you meant.

“She takes photos of the worst parts of Gotham to expose the poverty. That’s where we met. I don’t really let her go alone anymore,” he said with the smallest hint of a smile. “It’s pretty damn dangerous.”

“I’ve been fine,” you insisted and Jason thought back on the multiple shady characters he’s had to beat for you to get your shots without knowing what he was doing. “But I’m putting together a piece for South Gotham Gallery. A few more shots and it will be complete.”

“I’ve heard certain areas can be very dangerous,” Dick commented. “I would be very careful. Especially with a camera.”

“Yeah, like the East End,” Tim said.

“I grew up there,” you admitted with a laugh. “Stay away from Crime Alley and you’re probably okay. During the day.”

“It’s unwise to visit at all. Crime has risen 11 percent in the past 3 years,” Damian said. Alfred served a salad next.

“And unemployment by over 15 percent in the Bowery. That’s why I’m doing my piece. Poverty and crime is caused by wealth,” you said frankly before realizing that you just said that to a bunch of billionaires. Jason stifled a snicker.

[[MORE]]

“I suppose so,” Bruce said slowly. Jesus, you had just insulted your boyfriend’s adoptive father.

“Sorry,” you said quietly looking at your salad.

“It’s fine. It’s true,” Jason said with a shrug.

“So do you two live together,” Dick asked, changing the subject.

“You’re saying that crime is caused by wealth? Can you explain,” Damian said. Jason almost crushed the stem of his wine glass.

“I just mean, Gotham’s rich have gotten richer and the poor poorer and the ones with the money can control that,” you said delicately.

“So the rich can prevent poverty? All poverty?” Damian asked. And to the 13 year old’s credit, he just seemed to be curious. He could clearly feel the tension he was creating but didn’t actually care as he wanted answers.

“Paying people enough to live, healthcare for all, rehabilitation services that actually rehab, good education. All will help prevent crime and poverty. Many studies have shown this,” you said and you wanted to remain impartial but your voice betrayed your passion for the subject.

“We donate and run many foundations that support most of those things. Right father?” Damian asked. You sighed but kept silent. Throwing money doesn’t solve a problem.

Bruce cleared his throat. “Yes.”

“Drop it Damian,” Tim said. He roughly stabbed at his salad.

“I just want to know how she could possibly know what the rich do if she has always been poor.”

Jason crushed the stem at this point. “Shit,” you said quickly wrapping his bleeding hand in a handkerchief from the table. He looked close to exploding.

“Don’t forget that she’s not the only poor kid at the table. I grew up on the streets and moved here. Rich people are shit,” Jason said. He started standing and Damian watched him with a glint in his eyes. He was ready to fight too.

“Sit down, Jason,” Bruce commanded. “He’s just a curious boy.”

“Not surprising. He gets it from his old man. Disregard for anyone else,” Jason all but growled. Tonight was only the tip of the iceberg. You put a hand on his forearm. The last thing you wanted was a fight.

“You’re angry,” Bruce said quietly. He swallowed harshly. “Sit down.”

“I’m a grown man,” Jason said scoffing.

“Not acting like that,” Bruce said. Jason’s hands twitched towards his gun on his hip but he resisted the urge.

“Come on. Let’s get out of here. Alfred, food was great. Fuck you, Bruce,” Jason said grabbing your hand.

“Don’t leave,” Dick called as Jason pulled you down the hall. He didn’t go towards the front door but downstairs to a garage. There was probably 20 cars. Many of them were cars you had never seen in person.

“You wanna go for a drive?” He asked and you felt a thrill.

“One of these?” You asked.

“Nope,” Jason said pressing a code into a computer. A hidden garage door opened to expose a very conspicuous vehicle. The batmobile. You’d definitely never seen that car in real life.

“Seriously? Won’t he get mad?” You asked a little shocked.

“Fucking furious. We’re just going to get something to eat,” Jason said grabbing the key and unlocking it.

“Ugh... what the hell? Why not? Yeah,” you finally said. You knew the value of not missing a ride in the freaking batmobile. He grinned and opened the door for you. You climbed in and noticed a billion buttons. As Jason started the car, a string of lights pulsed on before the car showed multiple sensors. Jason pressed a few buttons before shifting the gear and driving out of the garage. The front gate automatically opened and he started putting on some speed once the car hit the road.

It felt like he was driving 50 when the speedometer was showing a cool 120. Your heart beat quickly in fear and excitement. Jason slowed down to 70 and grasped your hand. You could see tiny little cuts on his hand from the glass he crushed earlier.

“Is your hand okay?” You asked looking it over.

“It’s fine. Doesn’t hurt at all. Let’s get some food. I know a spot. But you’ll have to wear this,” he said pulling out a small black mask to cover your eyes. He took his own. “Can’t exactly drive the batmobile and show our face.”

The spot he knew was a tiny little taco truck strung with Christmas lights and a white board advertising “elotes con chile y limon.” It was on an empty corner lot in a not so great area of Gotham. It was extremely conspicuous as the pair of you got out of the car. Most people watched but as they thought they were watching freaking Batman order tacos, they didn’t say or do anything.

“Hello,” said the truck owner nervously. “Would you like something to eat? Elotes? Carnitas?”

“Yeah, 6 carnita tacos with cilantro and lime. A Mexican coke. 2 orders of sopapillas. What do you want?”

“That’s all for you?” You laughed always amazed at the amount he could eat. It made sense with all the energy he used but still. “Same but just 2 tacos and and a coke.”

Jason wrapped an arm around you waist and swayed slightly to the Mexican music playing in the truck. People started to get used to you both being there. Maybe Batman just wanted some tacos?

After receiving a plastic take out bag with foil wrapped tacos, a sign of good tacos, you both climbed back in the car. The masks were haphazardly tossed on the dash. Jason drove you both back the way you came and you wondered if you were going back to the manor when, no he was taking you to a quiet rest stop outside the city. You ate the tacos and sopapillas on the hood of the car. You watched as Jason added way to much spicy green chile sauce to his tacos.

“Want some?”

“I choose life but thank you,” you said. You giggled as he cleared his throat and gulped down his coke. But to his credit, he ate it. Maybe he just enjoyed pain? “Now what?” You asked watching the stars. They weren’t visible in the city.

Instead of answering, Jason pulled you close. Your back against his chest and he wrapped his arms around you. You held his hands and looked at the little scars that littered his skin. Always fighting. Jason bent to kiss your neck.

“Wanna be really bad,” he asked with audacity that you knew meant something interesting. You leaned into him more.

“What do you mean?” You purred. Dating a guy like Jason Todd, you weren’t exactly new to taking some risks.

“Let’s fuck. Right. Here,” he said and with every word he slowly spoke in a husky voice, he pushed his hips against you and you knew exactly what he wanted. You went to turn in his arms but he moved quicker and you were quickly bent over the car with a gasp. He pulled off his jacket and threw it on the hood. Little did you know but he was covering the camera.

Jason’s hand ran along your back and you shivered as your skin pressed against the hard metal. He kissed the back of your neck and kneaded the flesh on your hips and he ground his hard on against you. “Fuck you’re pretty. And letting fucking Bruce know what you think of the rich. That was hot as shit. I’ve been wanting to do this for months.”

“This was on your bucket list,” you asked grinding your hips back against him. “To bend me over the batmobile and fuck me?”

“Jesus,” he said before pulling down your jeans and panties in one push. You shivered at the cold air touched your ass. “Your fucking mouth, Princess. I love it.”

You weren’t cold for very long because after a few seconds of rustling with a belt and zipper, you felt Jason press against your ass. He rubbed his cock through your folds a few times before pulling away. You turned to whine only to see him rolling on a condom. He sunk into you without ceremony. His fingers roughly held your hips as he thrust into you.

You moaned and the echo reminded you that you were outside. Anyone could come up on the pair of you fucking on the goddamn Batmobile. It made you moan even louder. He rubbed his hand up and down your spine before sliding down to the front of your body to rub your clit. It didn’t take long for you to grip him tighter.

“Fuck, Princess, are you close?” He moaned in your ear. His thrusts were rough and deep and his fingers moved quickly over your clit.

“Yeah, oh shit, yeah,” you moaned. “Jay,” you whined when he readjusted his hand.

“I got you. Let go, Princess,” he purred in your ear. You reached a hand up and grabbed his hair. You pulled him close and moaned his name on repeat as you came. He grunted and a few more thrusts found his release. Jason pulled out and pulled up your pants with a pat on your ass and took care of his condom.

“We probably need to get the car back before Bruce come looking for it,” he said grabbing his jacket. Jason gave you a long sweet kiss before getting back in the car.

“Does he have a tracking device in it,” you asked with sudden realization.

“Yeah but all we did was get some tacos and stopped to eat them,” Jason said with a wink. “He won’t care too much. Plus he’ll only be mad at me anyways. Don’t worry about it, Princess.”

You held his hand all the way back to the front drive of Wayne Manor. As soon as you were in his car, his phone lit up and before he put it away, it was a message from Tim. “Clean it before you bring it back. I don’t even want to know what happened and Bruce is ofc mad.😩”

You laughed a little and Jason went from grinning to laughing out loud. “At least we didn’t fuck in the car,” you said. He laughed some more.

“Maybe next time, baby,” he said with a wink before speeding out of the drive.

“Oh god. I wouldn’t do Alfred like that.”

“I knew I liked you for some reason. Let’s get home. It’s cold as balls out here and I’d like to spend some time with my hot as shit girlfriend before the other shoe drops,” Jason said taking your hand again.

“That’s a fan-fucking-tastic idea.”

[petersasteria]

The Forces of Nature || Ch.6

Pairing: Peter Parker x Superhero!Reader

Summary: “There’s this kid out there that can control the wind or something. I think she’s a great addition to the team. Let’s recruit her.”

SERIES MASTERLIST  ||  PP MASTERLIST

Click the pictures for better quality

After creating the list, Peter immediately went to the compound to show the list to the rest of the Avengers. They approved of the list and teased Peter about step 7.

"Oooh, Peter's getting a love life." Scott teased and wiggled his eyebrows. Peter scoffed, but his face was slightly pink from blushing.

"No, I'm not ready for spider-babies. Please graduate college first." Tony said as he pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Anyway, as long as Queens isn't distracted by step 7, he can do it." Steve said as he gave the paper back to Peter. "Go and make us proud."

"Yes and you can't come back here until you've fulfilled step 1. Stop patrolling if necessary. We need all the information we can get: her attitude, her skills, or whatever random thing that can benefit this team." Tony said sternly as he looked Peter.

Peter nodded, "Yes, Mr. Stark. I'll do whatever I can."

For once in his life, Peter Benjamin Parker felt confident. Too confident. Starting today until he has the information he wanted, he'll be observing Y/N Y/L/N and what her deal was. It would be really easy because they have the same school. He was also glad that he could observe her after school. He was everyone's friendly neighborhood Spider-Man, after all

When he was still dating MJ, he was able to pick up her ways of observing people. At that point, he was thankful that they dated and he felt blessed. Peter didn't follow Y/N around, no. He didn't need to. They both have the same classes and they sat next to each other on each one.

"This'll be really easy." Peter whispered to himself when he went to school earlier than Y/N. He went to the classroom of his first class with Y/N and waited for her. Five minutes later, Y/N walked in wearing a simple casual outfit. She was wearing light brown pants that were slim fit and a white long sleeved polo shirt tucked in with the first two buttons unbuttoned. Her hair was up in a ponytail which was loosely curled on the tips of her hair. She had a little beige kerchief around her neck which was tied the side-tie western way. She had her classic white Keds on and that necklace she always seems to wear in whatever outfit she's wearing. Her bag was a simple white tote bag with only a few things in it. She looked cute.

"Hi, Peter." She greeted with a smile as she sat down next to Peter.

"Hi. Nice outfit." Peter complimented. She looked down at her outfit and looked at Peter shyly, "Thanks. I didn't really feel like dressing up today so, I went for a simple and cute look."

"It suits you." Peter smiled at her and winked. She blushed and turned away with a smile. Peter brought out his notebook and pen as he started observing her. He grabbed a book and started "reading".

At one point, Flash went up to Y/N to ask for some help which she gladly did. Peter thought she was only doing it so that Flash wouldn't bully her or she was only doing it because she had to and not because she wanted to.

'She'd probably roll her eyes when Flash leaves.' Peter thought to himself as he kept "reading".

To his surprise, Y/N didn't roll her eyes nor complain. In fact, she still had a smile on her face. It was as if she was glad to help Flash Thompson. Peter didn't get it at all. However, he wrote it down on his notebook to keep track.

Throughout the rest of the day, Peter noticed a lot about her. Maybe he was the only one to know or maybe others knew too, but Y/N seemed to not have any bad bones in her body. She was perfect. Too perfect and that scared Peter.

"How's Code O doing?" Ned whispered to Peter after the last class. Peter looked at him confused, "Code O?"

"Yeah! Code O."

"What the hell is Code O?"

"The 'O' stands for 'observation'; code observation = code o." Ned shrugged. "How's it going?"

"I got some of it written down. I'll have to do more, though." Peter said. "I'll try to observe her as Spider-Man so that it wouldn't be suspicious." He added quietly.

"That's a great idea, Peter!" Ned said loudly.

"What's a great idea?" MJ asked out of nowhere causing Ned and Peter to jump slightly.

"Don't do that!" Ned clutched his chest and slightly glared at her.

"But I love it." MJ laughed. "Anyway, Y/N here has something to say." She looked at Y/N and gently nudged her with her elbow. Y/N cleared her throat and looked at the boys with a smile on her face, "My birthday's coming up and Eunice told me to invite my friends. I, uh, I don't really have that much friends. I actually only have MJ, but she said that I could invite both of you. If you guys could come, that'd be really really awesome."

"Give us a time and place and we'll be there." Ned grinned. "How old will you be?"

"18." Y/N said. "I have to go now. I'll see you guys tomorrow and I'll tell more details of my birthday celebration. Bye!" They all waved her goodbye and Y/N walked away.

Peter closed his locker and said, "I have to go too. Bye guys!" He didn't give Ned and MJ the time to say goodbye because he was already running towards the exit hoping to get a glimpse of Y/N.

One thing Peter noticed after that night at Y/N's house was that he lived near her. He didn't notice it on the train and on the way there because he was busy talking to her and taking a peek at the book she was reading.

Thankfully, he was able to catch up with her and they got on the same train going home. Y/N didn't notice him, of course. Her nose was stuck in a book again and Peter was glad that it occupied her. It gave him time to really observe her. There was not much to know about her while she was reading.

When they got off the train, Peter walked a few feet behind her. It was a little far but near enough to still see her. Peter quickly turned to the alley he always changes at and began to change in his Spider-Man suit. He webbed up his backpack somewhere and quickly walked back out to the street. Y/N wasn't that far because she stopped to buy some fruits from the little shop nearby.

He quickly swung there and to make a nice entrance, he hung upside down on her left. He signaled the owner to be quiet and they did. Y/N was too busy picking out oranges and apples to see that a local, friendly neighborhood hero was hanging upside down next to her.

"I love apples." Peter said, startling Y/N. She jumped slightly and she turned to her left and smiled, "Hey, I know you!"

"Y-You do??" Peter was nervous. He was pale under the mask. 'Holy fucking shitballs. She knows who I am! She knows my identity!' was all he could think about.

"Yeah, silly! You're on the news." Y/N giggled. "Spider-Man!"

"Oh, yeah!" Peter chuckled in relief. "Yup, that's me! Your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man!"

"Yeah." Y/N nodded with a smile. "So, to what do I owe the pleasure, Spidey?"

"Oh, nothing. It's just that I always pass by here and I haven't seen you before. Did you just move here?" He asked.

Y/N shrugged, "Kind of? I moved here during summer. I'm in my last year of high school at Midtown."

"Midtown, huh? You must be a genius." Peter landed next to her perfectly and crossed his arms.

"Oh, no!" Y/N laughed and shook her head. "I'm not- I'm not a genius. Peter Parker is the genius, not me."

"Peter Parker?" He didn't know you thought of him that way.

"Yup! He's this really cute guy who's, like, super smart. He messes with me all the time, though. But that's okay. I forgive him every time."

"Why? Surely, he doesn't deserve that." Peter said.

"I know, but life's too short to hold grudges and not forgive. I love to give people chances." Y/N smiled sweetly at him- well, Spider-Man. "I admire you, Spidey."

"Aww, thank you!"

Y/N paid for her fruits and gave one apple for Spider-Man, "Here's one for you because you mentioned that you love apples. Think of it as a 'thank you' for all the trouble you went through just to keep everyone safe. Oh and don't listen to the Daily Bugle; you're not a menace."

Peter toyed with the apple for a bit and thanked her. Genuinely thanked her.

"I have to go now. Hopefully, I can see you around again." Y/N smiled and left. Peter stared at her as she walked away, kind of forgetting that the owner of the shop was still there.

"Don't let a girl like that walk away." The owner of the shop said. Peter looked at him and read his name tag, 'Stan'. Peter chuckled, "I don't even know if I like her. We just met, Stan."

That was a lie, but it was kind of true. Peter knew her, but Spider-Man didn't. So technically, they did just met.

Stan shrugged, "If you ask me, I think both of you were meant for each other. You look good together."

"U-Um, thanks... I guess. I'll see ya around, Stan!" He shot a web and swung to the rooftop of the shop. He ate the apple before swinging away.

"Hey Karen?"

"Hello, Peter."

"Do you know where Y/N is? You know, the girl I talked to earlier?" Peter asked, in hopes to find her.

"She's at home, Peter. Do you want the address?" Karen asked. Peter said, "No, thanks. She lives near me." He swung to her apartment and saw her bedroom window open. He could see her doing weird gymnastics stuff.

"She's flexible." Peter whispered to himself.

Observing her became Peter's routine. He didn't even notice that a month has already gone by and he already got the information he needed. As promised, he went to the compound after school with his list of observations. As usual, he was late... again.

"Next time, you'll buy donuts for the team when you're late." Tony said as he watched Peter take a seat.

"I'm so sorry, Mr. Stark. It's just-"

"Zip it." Tony said. "Where's the list?" Peter wordlessly passed the paper to Tony and Tony read it.

Occasionally nodding, he finished reading and passed it to Steve who read it with Scott. After that, Sam and Bucky read it. Then Nat and Wanda, Thor and Bruce, and Clint and Rhodey. Peter got the paper back and waited for them to say something.

"What exactly do you mean by 'a follower, not a leader'?" Nat asked with a raised eyebrow.

Peter gulped, "Well, the teacher asked her to be the group leader in one of our classes and she declined. In fact, she said that herself. I just wrote it down." Peter wasn't lying. He could vividly remember it.

"Really?" Wanda said. Peter nodded quickly and told the story.

It was math time and Mr. Jones formed everyone into four groups. Peter was the leader of group one, Cindy was the leader of group two, and Mike was the leader of group three. Mr. Jones smiled at Y/N, "Ms. Y/L/N! Are you in group four?"

Y/N nodded and politely smiled, "Yes, sir."

"Well then, I pick you to your group's leader!" Mr. Jones said.

Y/N visibly frowned and everyone saw that, "Um, excuse me? I'm so sorry, sir. But I have to politely decline your offer. It's nothing personal. It's just that I'm really not interested in being a group leader for anything. I think that I'm better off as a follower and not a leader."

"Oh." Mr. Jones frowned too. Y/N was one of his best students. "Well, I'm kind of upset, but I respect your decision. You could just be the assistant leader."

"I'd be glad to take that position." Y/N chuckled.

"See? She said it herself." Peter said.

"What about the 'doesn't put hands on the ground' thing? That's kind of weird." Scott mentioned as the others agreed.

"I'm not really sure, but when I asked her about it, she kind of froze." Peter trailed off.

"Hey, Y/N!" Peter said during gym class. Y/N turned to him and smiled, "Hello, Peter."

"I just noticed something." Peter said coolly. Y/N motioned for him to continue. "Um, why don't you put your hands on the ground? Like, why? I'm just curious."

Y/N froze and her smile dropped. She immediately hid it, though. She let out an airy nervous chuckle and said, "Oh, that? I, uh, I-I have this thing with, um..."

"With what?" Peter raised an eyebrow.

"With dirt?" Y/N said that sounded more like a question. She grinned and said, "Yes! I-I have this thing with dirt! I don't like dirt. I could only put my hands on the ground if there's a towel or something separating my hands from the ground."

"Oh... okay." Peter eyed her suspiciously, but brushed it off.

"I have a hunch that it has something to do with her powers." Peter said. "My Spidey senses are telling me that."

"Okay, then." Clint said. "These random stuff are so nature related."

"I know right!" Rhodey nodded in agreement. "Maybe our guess is right- maybe she can control all four elements. It's not that far-fetched if you think about it."

"That's true." Steve said. "Well, let's move on to the next step!"

"What's the next step?" Tony asked and looked at Peter.

"Step two is befriending her. I don't know how to do that and how close should we even be?" Peter asked.

"Close enough for you to bring her here and to your apartment." Tony chuckled.

"My apartment?!" Peter shrieked. "Why?!?!"

"That's what friends do, right? They invite them to their home?" Tony asked with furrowed eyebrows. "What was on your mind, Peter?"

Peter blushed and shrugged, "N-Nothing. I just wanted to make sure I heard it right."

"OH MY GOD. HE WAS THINKING OF SEX." Scott gasped and laughed.

"AHH, YES!! MATING SEASON IS UPON US!!" Thor said loudly. "The young spider boy will mate with his lady friend and they shall have spider babies!"

"Thor, no." Tony said sternly. "Trust me. All of us aren't ready for that."

"My apologies." Thor said. "It's mating season in Asgard at the moment. Asgardians make cute babies."

Peter's eyes widened as he looked at everyone now talking about sex.

"I remember my first time." Scott said. Clint nodded along, "Same here. It was awkward."

"I was once a playboy, so yeah. Eat that, bitches." Tony boasted.

"Can we- Can we talk about something else?" Steve asked as he cleared his throat.

"Why? A little shy, Cap?" Sam teased. "When was your first time?"

"I prefer not to answer that." Steve said sternly. Everyone laughed except for Peter.

"Oh my god. What have I gotten myself into?" Peter asked himself.

"Because you love us, silly." Wanda said and chuckled before joining the conversation. Peter smiled to himself as he looked at everyone having a laugh and sharing their first times.

"Yeah." Peter said softly to himself. "I do."

* * * *

yeet his recruiting is starting

𝐏𝐄𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐊𝐄𝐑 𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓: @myblueleatherbag @harryismysunflower @buckys-little-hoe @justanothermarvelmaniac @itstaskeen​ @sandystoriess​ @heeeyitskay​ @slytherin-chaser​ @quaksonhehe​ @yaya4302​

𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐋 𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓: @marvelousell​ @justasmisunderstoodasloki​ @rubberducky-jrr​ @petersholland​ @osterfieldnholland​ @miraclesoflove​ @god-knows-what-am-i-doing​ @perspectiveparker​ @hollands-weasley​ @itstaskeen​ @call-me-baby-gir1​ @the-panwitch​ @iamaunicorn4704​ @chloecreatesfictions​ @holland-styles​ @halfblood-princess-505-deactiva​ @spidey-reids-2003​ @herbatkazmiloscia

[merakiaes]

Hello! Can I get Marvel, Harry Potter, Twilight, Stranger Things, The Witcher, Peaky Blinders, The Walking Dead, Suicide Squad, Game Of Thrones ship? 💖 179 cm tall; dark brown, past shoulder-length hair with bangs; blue eyes (the left eye is mixed with hazel, aka, heterochromia iridium); heptagon face shape with dimples; rectangle body shape. Hufflepuff. INFP-T. Bi-curious. Pisces-Aries cusp sign. ”Looks like could kill you, but is actually a cinnamon roll.” At first, I may come off as reserved, shy, yet polite. I, as many of us, have a resting bitch face, that’s why people may think that I’m in a bad mood. It takes me a lot of time to warm up to somebody, cause I have social anxiety. Hate small talk, or speaking in front of the public. When I’m nervous, I tend to mess up my words or forget what I was supposed to say. I’m usually playful, dirty-minded and goofy around close friends. I’m the so-called, ”fashionista and mom” from my circle of friends. A perfectionist, punctual, over-thinker, slight control/clean freak. Stubborn in some situations. If I’m annoyed or getting impatient, I can say something witty or sarcastic. I’m constantly fighting an inner battle with myself, trying to accept myself. I don’t like to smile or laugh in public, cause of the small gap between my front teeth. I really hate taking selfies or somebody else taking pictures of me. The clothes I wear depends on my mood (and the weather outside), but it’s always a mix of smart casual or comfortable. Don’t like doing things out of my comfort zone, prefer to stay indoors. Dislike asking people for help (it makes me feel uncomfortable). I don’t like arguments, but I will square up if they come for my family or I snapped. I’m a kind-hearted person, always ready to help someone in need, quite modest as well. My hobbies include listening to any type of music, reading, watching movies or tv shows, traveling (if given the chance), and cleaning. Have a thing for writing. Very protective of my family. Divorced parents. Motherly towards kids and friends. An old soul, and the ”black sheep” of my family. A feminist, support LGBTQ+ community. Sometimes I like to try and cook easy recipes. Dislike black coffee, prefer tea or orange juice. That’s it, - thanks!

MARVEL

I ship you with Bruce Banner!

He would be kind of wary and scared to talk to you to a start. The other guy may be big and strong, but he’s not. He doesn’t have much confidence in himself when in his human form and he would be intimidated by you at first glance, but once he actually works up the courage to come and talk to you, you’d get on great.

He knows what it's like to struggle with social anxiety so he would be patient and need some time to become comfortable with you, as well, scared of messing things up by saying the wrong thing and/or sharing too much. 

Like you, he rambles when he’s nervous so that’s just another thing you have in common, but once he’s comfortable with someone, he’s more than happy to participate in some sarcastic, dirty-minded banter. 

He’s very reserved and, like earlier mentioned, doesn’t have much confidence. He would never understand how someone like you would want someone like him but he would be so in awe of the fact that you did want him. 

He knows all too well what it’s like to be at odds with yourself and accepting who you are so he would be very understanding and supportive of that, and he’d comfort you about your insecurities and let you know that you’re more than good enough. 

You’re also very similar in that you prefer to stay indoors, away from all kinds of social activity, and not go out of your comfort zones while, as well as the way you’re both more than willing to help other people in need while disliking asking for help for yourselves.

HARRY POTTER

I ship you with George Weasley!

George is the literal definition of a cinnamon roll. He’s so kind, caring and thoughtful, and I feel like we don’t talk about that nearly enough. 

You’re shy and reserved, and he’s forward and energetic. You struggle to warm up to people, and he has no problem whatsoever getting to know new people. So I feel like it would be a good match. He would kinda just force all his energy onto you so that you, as a result, wouldn’t feel as anxious about meeting someone new, you know?

He could help you let loose a bit more, and I mean that in the most respectful way possible; not because you’re uptight, but more so to help relieve some of that stress and pressure that everything always has to be perfect.

He’s so loud as a person that neither you nor anyone else would even notice your mistakes, like messing up your words, because George and his twin just take the stage wherever they go. 

George loves pushing his limits and discovering new things so I feel like he’d definitely try to get you out of your comfort zones on some occasions, but at the same time, he’s a lot less pushy than his twin and would give up if he noticed that you really didn’t want to do something, whereas Fred probably would’ve just dragged you along by your arm and bugged you until you gave in.

He’d find your shy personality adorable to a start but once you got comfortable enough to show your playful, dirty-minded and goofy side, he would just be amazed and get even more excited around you. 

And knowing him, he’d love both your heterochromia and the gap between your teeth. He would find your eyes the most fascinating thing in the world, and he’s just generally a person who loves “different” and finds it beautiful. 

Being protective over family and loved ones is a plus for any of the Weasleys, seeing as the most precious thing they have is just that; family. So the fact that this is a quality you have would make George even more attracted to you, as would your motherly instincts.

 TWILIGHT

I ship you with Embry Call!

Like Bruce, Embry probably would’ve been a bit intimidated by you on first sight. Not only because of your resting bitch face, but also because he just has no experience with girls, whatsoever. 

After much encouragement from the other boys, however, he probably would’ve been able to work up the courage needed to approach you and most likely, knowing him, he would’ve stumbled over his words and completely messed up, so you’d never have to worry about messing up like that, yourself, because he would just be such a mess that it would be hard to beat. 

Embry is, like you, playful, dirty-minded and goofy when he’s in the right company, but he’s much quieter and shyer than the other boys on the reservation, as well as reserved in general - like you. He’s also a lot more caring and loving than his pack members but, like the rest of them, he’s very protective of family, which is just another thing the two of you share. 

Embry is a wolf so, obviously, he enjoys being outside and participating in fast-paced activities, but I don’t think he’d mind staying inside with you, watching movies, or just listening to music and hanging out. His mom definitely wouldn’t mind, as he’s technically grounded for life for sneaking out every night, which he keeps ignoring much to her dismay. 

He’s just so kind and humble. He’d be so sweet and supportive about your insecurities and never force you to do anything you’re not comfortable with, and he’d be all over your cooking, no matter how good or bad you are at it!

 STRANGER THINGS

I ship you with Jonathan Byers!

Jonathan knows everything about being the black sheep. He had to find himself and learn his value completely on his own, so he knows what it’s like to be at war with your own mind in accepting who you are. 

He believes that people should be judged by their ability to work rather than by what gender they are and that women should be respected just as much as men, as seen when he disapproved of how Nancy was being treated by her co-workers, and therefore also shares your feminist ideals. 

He would be the sweetest to you about your insecurities and tell you that it’s okay to be different no matter what and that you’re beautiful and enough just the way you are. 

He’s introverted, asocial and kind just like you, cares very deeply for family and knows what it’s like to have divorced parents. 

He’s very much into music just like you are and is not very fond of small talk nor fighting either, so I feel like you would have a really calm and stable relationship. 

 THE WITCHER

I ship you with Jaskier!

Jaskier is a little like George Weasley in the way that he always steals all the attention whenever he walks into a room. He’s got a very loud personality and for the same reasons I think you’d be good with George, I think you would be good with Jaskier!

Unlike you who prefer staying within your comfort one, Jaskier might care about that a bit too little. Let’s just say that he would never bother you about not being more adventurous, because he’d be far too busy stepping out of his comfort zone and getting into trouble, himself, to notice.

Jaskier is also a big fan of writing, reading and, of course, music, so I think you’d be able to have some really good times together.

 PEAKY BLINDERS

I ship you with Ada Shelby!

Being the only woman as well as the only really sensible member of a family full of gangsters for sure puts a person under the “black sheep”-category, so Ada knows all about feeling out of place. 

She’s the only member of the Shelby family who absolutely hates violence which is one of the main reasons I think you’d suit each other, seeing as you don’t like arguments. Just like you, she will square up if she absolutely has to in order to defend herself, but she’d much prefer not to. 

She’s very level-headed and tries her best to stay well clear of all the illegal activities that her family get up to, instead, putting her focus into activism and trying to improve equality for everyone, as well as trying to embrace the beautiful and sensuous things life has to offer.

She has a natural instinct to take care of those who can’t look after themselves, she’s kind-hearted and humane, accepting and understanding, so she would be very patient with getting to know you and let you take the time you needed. 

Out of all the Peaky Blinders characters, I can almost guarantee you that Ada is your best shot at getting a peaceful and unproblematic life. 

THE WALKING DEAD

I ship you with Daryl Dixon!

Daryl may be brave and good at surviving, but he is, at the same time, constantly facing challenges from his past as an abuse victim. Because of his trauma, he’s very socially awkward and doesn’t really know how to connect with other people, even though he does seem to have the desire to do so. For example, at the beginning of the apocalypse, he often spoke to people without making eye contact and cringed away from physical touch, with little to no social skills, and even though he has definitely gotten better at it, the struggle is still there to some extent.

His childhood trauma is also the reason for his insecurities, of which the biggest one is his scars. He’s ashamed of them and every day he’s reminded of the fact that he, through all his life, has been nothing and no one. He often shows signs that he considers himself to be worthless as well as depressed, and shows clear discomfort and distrust for people he’s not all that familiar with. 

Because of the discomfort of being around people, he prefers to keep his distance from groups, because he functions best when he’s either alone or in the company of just one or two people; preferably the former. So naturally, he’s very quiet, not at all fond of small talk. Even with people he’s comfortable being around, he’d rather sit in a comfortable, mutual silence than speak. 

You have all these things in common; finding it hard trusting and opening up to people, being over-thinkers, disliking small talk, constantly fighting inner battles with yourselves and struggling to accept yourselves, disliking asking people for help, as well as having big social anxieties in general.

But what you also have in common is that you’re very protective of family. Daryl may prefer to keep to himself, but he doesn’t hesitate to risk his life in order to save the members of his group. He’s incredibly selfless and loyal to a fault and would stop at nothing to protect his people as well as help people who can’t protect themselves. 

As a result of his abuse, he also an extreme attentiveness to others. He’s so hypervigilant that not only is he always prepared for zombies, but he can also attentive to the emotions of people. So even though he might struggle with communicating sympathy verbally and through touch, he will go to great lengths to use his special skills to help those in pain, this meaning - you wouldn’t have to communicate your feelings through words every time since he’d most likely pick up on your body language, which can be a really big relief when you’re self-conscious about stumbling over words when nervous and struggle with social anxiety. 

He would just be very understanding of your social issues in general and as he absolutely hates when people try to pry into his life before the apocalypse, he would never put any pressure, whatsoever, on you to open up to him in anything other than your own time. If anyone knows what it’s like to feel out of place, it’s him. 

SUICIDE SQUAD

I ship you with Rick Flag!

It’s no secret that Rick is very serious and short-tempered when in combat and on the job. His personality is usually described as sturdy, stoic and serious and he’s been trained to serve and follow orders without questions. He takes his responsibilities very seriously and gets frustrated when others don’t pay him the same respect.

But away from his job, Rick also has a softer, more vulnerable side and is capable of warming up even to enemies through his ability to see things from different perspectives, as seen when he happily hugs Floyd after defeating Enchantress. He’s deeply protective of those he loves and would go to unthinkable lengths to protect them. 

He isn’t a person who willingly goes out of his comfort zone either; on the contrary, it’s usually something he’s pressured to do by other people who, often, have some kind of leverage on him. 

So had he only been presented with the choice, I think he’d really be into the idea of a simple life with no drama, no danger. Just him, his significant other, living together and going about their ways either separately or together, before having dinner and falling asleep together in front of a good movie or tv show. He’d be more than happy living a life as simple as that. 

Underneath that whole military attitude, he also has a sense of humor hidden away; the goofy and playful one, just like yours. And I think that you would be really good together in that sense. 

GAME OF THRONES

I ship you with Jon Snow!

Jon is known to be humble, calm and withdrawn and would, at least after the events of the last season, much rather live a calm, simple life than one full of adventure and challenged limits since he’s so clearly shown to be burdened by the constant danger and responsibility. 

All his life, Jon has lived as an outcast; a bastard, and the black sheep in a family of wolves. Because of Catelyn’s consistent hatred and torment, he never felt anything other than hatred, self-doubt and shame toward himself and has never felt like he belongs anywhere, with anyone. 

He was forced to quietly wrestle with dejection and loneliness his entire life; always among them, but never really one of them, and because he never quite fit in, he was naturally more susceptible to anti-social behavior, as shown in the way that he always tends to mind his own business, prefers to stay within his comfort zone and also in the way that he isn’t big on small talk.

He was so ashamed of himself and who he was that he pledged himself to the Night’s Watch in order to escape the label of a bastard, so he knows better than anyone what it’s like to try and accept oneself. 

To finish it off, he’s the ultimate feminist, who takes powerful women for what they are and understands the importance of lifting them up. He encouraged Arya and her proclivity for archery and combat and he admitted to his misjudgments and faults without being derisive or sexist when Sansa outsmarted him and saved his ass in the Battle of the Bastards so he doesn’t consider it to be emasculating to be equal, or even inferior, to a woman, and doesn’t pick and choose what kind of woman to support. He supports all of them and their individual strengths, whether it be physical power in combat, or mental power in politics. 

FAST AND FURIOUS

I ship you with Leon!

Little is known about Leon since he was only in the first movie with minimal screentime, but I have, over the years, built my own opinion of him through his way of behaving in the moments we actually got to see him.

My first thought on him was that he’s a bit of the lost loner type and that he’s much more rational and level-headed than the others.

He voices his disapproval to Dom on several occasions and got shut down every time, which showed that he didn’t really trust him to keep them safe and out of handcuffs, and that he wasn’t comfortable with how far they were taking things. 

This, to me, equals that he’s not a person who is very fond of stepping out of his comfort zone and would much rather play it safe and stick to the things he knows.

I wouldn’t go so far as to call him a coward, but he’s definitely more cautious than the rest of the squad. Rather than getting high off the thrill, he just seems like he’s along for the ride, without actually needing the excitement like the others do. Plain and simple: he’s a tag-along:er, not an adrenaline junkie.

In the scenes he’s in, he was always the one to, in one way or another, look out for the well-being of the others, and I can imagine, since he and Jesse met before the two joined the squad, that he looked after Jesse for a long while, as well.

Jesse had pretty severe ADD as well as slightly faulty instincts and understandings in some social settings both because of his ADD and because he was raised by his criminal dad to know no better, so looking out for him would probably take a little bit of work since I’d guess that he got himself into trouble a lot. 

Because of this, I’ve kind of put him in the “caretaker”-category, since he seems to be so much more genuine and caring than the rest, and that, in turn, is why I think he’d be a good match for you. 

I also think that you’d be good together because of the fact Jesse shares a lot of qualities with you; a bit reserved, stuttering when nervous, and being generally anxious around strangers. Since Leon has experience with this, he wouldn’t judge you but rather know how to handle it, support you and make you feel more comfortable. 

His mother left him when he was still young and he has clearly been struggling to find a place where he belongs. He thought that he found it with Dom’s crew, but when Jesse died and Vince and Letty got seriously hurt, he obviously had enough, decided that the heat had become too risky and that he didn’t want anything more to do with the illegal activities. 

Once again, after Jesse’s passing, he was left alone, and I’m one hundred percent sure that he left the crew to go live a safer, calmer life because, like Rick Flag, he just seems like the type to want a quiet life with a like-minded significant other, maybe some animals and/or a kid or two. Basically just a “perfect, happy family”-situation with no risk-taking, just staying safe within your comfort zones. 

[fractualized]

I tried to respond to this with a “read more” cut that didn’t work, but I made the mistake of adding some HTML editing, and I didn’t realize deleting the post to try again would DELETE THE MESSAGE? Super cool website. Luckily I still had the ask in another tab for a screenshot.

ANYWAY, I’ve only gotten a few asks, actually, but this is many in one! And this took me a while because when it comes to writing I don’t know when to shut up!

The first question is interesting for a Telltale game, because the player chooses what Bruce does, so the answer could easily be whatever YOU like about John that makes you want to treat him more like a person than a tool. Then again, the times when you can make choices are limited, as are the actual choices (see: no opportunity to contact John post lab attack), plus Bruce does have reactions you can’t control. So his character is whatever blend results from the writing and the player.

But we’re specifically talking about the shipping-friendly scenarios! So let’s forget the meta and just assume the player makes the non-jerkass choices with John. Points are in the order they occurred to me.

>>>>>

1) John’s “light outside of Arkham” speech comes to mind first of course. The first time I watched that monologue and the camera switched to Bruce, I realized he and I had the same expression. Interactions with John are largely off-beat, and what he says about the lights still is given that it’s centered around an asylum, but it’s also very earnest and honest. It’s a very humanizing moment that makes clear that John’s attachment to Harley is very real.

I recognize that that is jarley-centric, but a) I don’t subscribe to the idea that John is actually talking about Bruce in this scene and b) that said, I think it still extends to Bruce. John is expressing genuine attachment to a person he admires and seeks guidance from (and sees as attractive), after all. His vulnerability should only emphasize to Bruce the importance of taking him seriously.

2) John is very open with Bruce immediately, starting at Lucius’s funeral. When John talks about being “the new guy” on the outside, it’s very sympathetic, even if you think John is actively playing for that sympathy to get Bruce to help him. Both things can be true. (I imagine this is a tactic he used in Arkham.) Later you get the sense that if John tried to talk to Harley about wanting to retreat to the asylum, she’d probably make fun of him.

John is up front with Bruce constantly, and that can be difficult not to reciprocate at least to some degree.

3) Speaking of the funeral, I think the fact that John brings a card calls for the “thoughtful” option. It is the wrong kind of card, and you wouldn’t normally give one to nonfamily of the deceased at the funeral, and if you’re going to do it anyway I guess you should also bring one for the family, buuuuuuuuuut I can see Bruce appreciating that John tried. And you know what? Telltale wrote that scene with no option to tell John to wait to talk to you OUTSIDE, which is what anybody on earth would do when someone arrived uninvited to a funeral and one of the main facts you know about them is that they happily knifed a guy, so we’re left to assume that Bruce finds John THAT intriguing.

4) When John says he likes Batman, Bruce has this proud little look on his face. “Hell yeah, you think Batman is cool!” He seems too pleased to hear it to think of John as just a game piece.

Jumping back to the coffee date, Bruce also has that semi-sheepish proud little shrug when John tells him how well he’s doing impersonating Harley. Bruce is having more fun in that scene the longer it goes, and probably wishes it really was just a casual conversation with a friend.

5) And related to that, Bruce has multiple opportunities to advise John about Harley (and, really, about how to behave appropriately in general). I don’t think Bruce puts in that effort if he doesn’t feel for John, in how he’s new to… almost everything. Also, to Bruce, the chances of John ending up back in Arkham or in prison must be HIGH, yet he puts in that effort anyway.

6) Taking the time to train John to throw a batarang seems like a little much to keep a good contact happy. Why waste precious laptop hacking time if not because you want to do your little buddy another favor? Also, if you so choose, why GIVE HIM ONE OF YOUR WEAPONS? Just… you don’t do that for someone you don’t like, or for someone you don’t think could be reliable help in combat later.

7) We don’t see Bruce laugh that often in the game, but I think he thinks John is funny. No way Bruce reflects on the shadow puppet scene later and doesn’t at least crack a smile at the idea of Gordon having that mustache as a baby.

8) John saves Bruce’s life multiple times. There’s rescuing him from the Arkham attack in Season 1, and then there’s triggering the EMP generator before Bane decides to kill him, as well as saving his butt from either Freeze or Bane in the virus storage area depending if you threw Catwoman under the bus or not. (If you didn’t, maybe John doesn’t get Bruce out of the ice machine back at Old Five Points, but his attempt to stand up to Harley is a pretty big deal for him.)

John will also save Bruce at certain quick time events, like if Bruce doesn’t duck when you’re with the Pact in the incinerator. You gotta like someone who helps keep you alive.

>>>>>

I tried to stay pre-funhouse, because narratively, that seems like the point where “this person is my friend” should be locked in, whether you tell John you believe him or not. I’m sure I’m forgetting moments since I haven’t played in a while, but I’ve listed enough to demonstrate that the writers provide ample opportunity for a friendship to form.

When it comes to romantic love, though, I’m not sure there’s a definitive moment, especially given the situation Bruce is in. He knows he cares about John, but I think he might need downtime (relative downtime for Batman, so like quiet cave research time) to realize he feels something more. So maybe in the couple weeks before Vigilante Joker’s debut, Bruce realizes he’s not just worried about where John is with the virus, but he really misses his eccentric pal. Or maybe it takes longer and happens post game when he visits John in Arkham, and has time to reflect on what John said about wanting Bruce’s love, not to mention the brief but memorable experience of having John as a partner. (Instant combat coordination! What!)

Now if we’re talking Villain Joker, the whole “I did love you” speech at their final confrontation indicates that Bruce realized his feelings before that. (I mean, people can still interpret that line as nonromantic love, but… come on.) Which seems odd, given that John and Harley started running around offing people by the hundreds, buuuuut that just makes me think it was the fact that John ran off with Harley and abandoned any of Bruce’s influence that made Bruce realize sooner how attached he felt.

(And maybe also that John made out with Harley right in front of him. I know that scene upsets some people, but it just made me laugh. Every single thing John does in the villain scenario is to get under Bruce’s skin, so I just thought, “Are you trying to make him jealous?? dkjfalshgalgha”)

As for BPD, it certainly matches up with a lot of John’s behavior. Honestly, though, fleshing out John’s particular diagnoses is not something I’ve focused on. It was part of a whole load of research I did on mental health care overall, but I just sort of blend what I’ve retained with trying to keep John consistent with his game portrayal. I don’t have substantial experience with mental health care so my personal comfort with representing him as having anything specific is looowwwww.

[valkerymillenia]

What are ur headcanons for brudick?

That is a VERY good question... I actually need to think about it and add more details to this list later.

Anyway, here are some hc's, many are nsfw.

Autistic Bruce.

Sorry, the way I see it autistic/Aspergers Bruce is basically canon and the reason why I'm mentioning it in ship headcanons is because I hc that Dick learned to understand Bruce well enough that, other than Alfred, he's the only person that figured out Bruce is in the spectrum and thus knows certain things others don't (like how to tell what Bruce is feeling by his stims, knowing what causes sensory overload in Bruce, knowing how Bruce likes to be touched and when not to touch him at all, knowing when Bruce is trying to be humorous, understanding Bruce's SI's, etc, etc, etc).

Basically most people assume Batman is just emotionally and socially constipated, brooding control freak but Dick knows that Bruce actually just has issues interacting and expressing himself (unless he's playing a role like "the billionaire playboy" because scripting) because of how his brain works, and even though he doesn't know how to really express emotions he's actually hyper empathetic.

Surprisingly gentle in bed

They totally have potential to be kinky af in the bedroom (I mean, masks and leather and between Bruce's vigilante persona and Dick's flexibility...) and their relationship is often intense and turbulent but they're actually super dedicated and gentle with each other because Dick is a helpless romantic and Bruce is secretly starved for affection and will take all he can.

Nonetheless, they do have kinky sides, like:

Bruce is more experienced and knows a lot of positions, some of which can only really be performed with someone as bendy as Dick.

Both of them are thrill seekers and kinda get really turned on by danger even if they won't admit it (Bruce keeps trying to be responsible and not get distracted in dangerous situations but when Dick is also around sometimes things happen, specially if Dick gets bored).

Dick kinda really likes roleplaying (and likes the idea of pulling out his old police uniform or Robin costume to play with).

Sparring as foreplay.

They are both pretty flexible in bed when it comes to who tops and who bottoms but ultimately they are both just very generous lovers

Dick is the loudest is bed but the thing he loves most is when he gets Bruce to be a little noisy too

Dick is a damn tease and Bruce secretly gets jealous easily. On the other hand, Bruce knows how to tease back by letting others flirt with him in public because he knows it riles Dick up

Bruce really likes backrubs. Dick really likes cuddling.

Bruce also gets grumpy and jealous of Dick's fanboying over Superman (although they both secretly have Clark as their guilty choice for a threesome)

They actually argue a lot less than people think

A lot of awkward pinning for the longest time

Bruce doesn't mean to but occasionally dads Dick, surprisingly Dick doesn't mind and actually find it kinda... amusing

Bruce learns Dick's Romani dialect specifically to have private (and affectionate) conversations with him in public

Bruce is actually really frustrated by Dick's puns and word play but he doesn't say anything because Dick's smile is worth it

Bruce really, really, really doesn't like Midnighter because he gets irrationally jealous when the man interacts with Dick (he's not sure why)

Sometimes people start talking about vigilantes around Bruce Wayne because it's Gotham, Bruce pretends to be disinterested, however if anyone mentions anything negative about Nightwing, Bruce goes immediately defensive and tense ("what do you mean some people don't like Nightwing? Who? I need names")

Whenever they have a fight, Bruce has a really bad habit of buying Dick gifts instead of apologizing (because he's way too stubborn), they are always thoughtful and interesting gifts though, he actually puts more effort into them than he cares to admit (there was one memorable time that they didn't speak for two weeks and Bruce ended up buying Dick a rare classic car)

Bruce often has nightmares but Dick knows how to soothe him, on the other hand, Dick usually only has nightmares when he's sleeping alone and sometimes he'll call Bruce in the middle of the night because he "misses him" and Bruce immediately knows what's up

Dick is not the best at it but he actually likes to cook for Bruce so sometimes he'll give Alfred evenings off; the one single time Bruce tried to do the same, well, they ended up eating Chinese takeout

Dick is naturally more paternal towards Damian than Bruce is and it's actually a big thing in their relationship that nobody really has the guts to talk about (except Talia, who hates it)

Damian once caught Bruce and Dick making out in the batcave showers and spent the rest of the week avoiding them like the plague because he just didn't know how to cope (Jason actually took the kid out for ice cream and Tim chose not to give him a hard time about it because they can both relate)

Whenever Bruce buys Godiva chocolates for Dick it's because he did something Dick will be mad about

Bruce has had more than one fantasy about proposing to Dick but never actually goes through with it

Dick has a habit of sending flowers to Bruce's office every once in a while just because he likes flowers and wants Bruce to know he was thinking of him (he likes people to know Bruce is taken)

Dick's desktop picture is a photo of him and Bruce at the circus

Their first kiss was a hot mess, all desperate and anxious and intensely emotional. There were a lot of mixed feelings going around because they still kinda had some hang-ups about their past mentor/ward relationship but they also dragged out the pinning and sexual tension for so long that it ended up being a hell of a rush

Dick really likes pet names but Bruce isn't creative in that front so while Dick will call Bruce a myriad of things like "old man", "big bat", "daddy bats", "big guy", "B", "honey", "sweetheart", etc, Bruce usually just sticks to "Dick" and occasionally "dearest" ("Robin" also slips out sometimes, as does "chum" out of habit)

Bruce steals the covers at night (Dick doesn't really care that much though)

Bruce remembers everything, every special date, every little casual comment Dick might have made about something he likes, every kiss, every memory, every request, every birthday, every anniversary. He just remembers everything about Dick (who isn't forgetful either but doesn't make as big a deal out of it)

Bruce doesn't curse often, Dick does but usually not around Bruce. Unless they're in bed, then they both curse but in a good way.

If Dick gets hurt Bruce just automatically feels guilty (even when there's nothing he could have done to prevent it) and will do anything to fix the situation. He will also avoid Dick out of said guilt.

When Bruce gets hurt, Dick also has the unbridled desire to fix everything but rather than blame himself he tends to angry at the situation in general and does all he can to fix it. Unlike Bruce, Dick will actually hover and refuse to leave Bruce alone.

[scandalsavagefanfic]

Hii! Congrats on 500 followers. For the prompt a thon, I'd like to request a continuation of your Ra'sJay wedding au with Mpreg Jason. How does the batfam and the Al Ghuls coexist?

Thank you so much!

This is the weirdest version of Ra’s al Ghul I’ve ever written but it was a lot of fun so it was a great start to this thing :D

Breakfast Guests - Read on Ao3!

Rating: TeenWarnings: NoneWords: 1600 (because I said 1500 so I really should have known)———————————————

Bruce does not like this newstatus quo.

It’s bad enough when Jason is offat whatever League location he and his… and Ra’s are calling home for themoment.

It’s even worse when they’re atthe manor.

Honestly, when he suggested theyspend more time here, desperate to see his son and his… granddaughter, andwanting to have his family all in one place again, he’d been prepared to makethe concessions for that to happen. Rationalized that at least Jason and hischild would be where he could keep an eye on them. Protect them from Ra’s ifneed be.

To that end, he put them in theroom next to his. All the rooms in the manor are master suites with attachedbathrooms but only Bruce’s and the one next door have additional sitting roomsthat were made to function as nurseries.

That was his first mistake.

They need their own wing of thehouse or Bruce is going to snap.

He pretty much raised four teenageboys in this house. He’d never put much thought into it before but if he hadbeen asked, he would have said that the manor’s soundproofing was on par withthe cave’s.

Then Ra’s and Jason moved in andBruce hasn’t managed a good night’s sleep since.

Ra’s is doing it on purpose. Bruceknows he is. The Demon’s head looks far too smug at breakfast in the mornings.Jason looks tired but blissful. Which is somehow even worse. There are alwaysthe little hints of purple marks that aren’t quite covered by his clothes andhis voice is always raspy.

Do people really scream that muchduring sex? Can Ra’s possibly be so good that Jason gets lost in the moment,forgets where he is, and just lets go?

Bruce shudders and looks back tohis eggs, trying to ignore the smirk Ra’s is leveling at him.

They will be gone soon, hereasons.

Then Jason walks in and he feelsguilty for thinking it.

He likes having his kids aroundmore than he hates hosting their terrible taste in partners.

Aliens, villains, and mercenaries.Bruce resolutely ignores that his own past romances may have made those seemlike acceptable relationships to enter into.

But just like every morning forthe past week, Jason comes down looking sleepy. The dark circles under his eyesaren’t prominent but Bruce notices them. His black curls stick up at allangles, wild and bed-tousled.

He yawns and stretches, making themuch darker purple bruises on his hips peek out from above the green cashmerepajamas. He’s lost most the baby weight but he’s still soft around the edges. Littlelove handles, rounded cheeks, fuller chest. It makes him look… sweet. Almostcherubic. Jason hasn’t looked that gentle since his early days as Robin. AfterAlfred got his hands on the child and got him up to a healthy weight.

Jason makes his way over to thetable to slide up next to Ra’s, sides pressing against each other, as the mucholder man pours him a cup of herbal tea and pulls him close with an arm aroundhis waist before placing a chaste kiss to his cheek.

These displays of affectionatedomesticity really rankle Bruce’s nerves of steel. It doesn’t suite either ofthem. Ra’s al Ghul is a genocidal fanatic who runs a clandestine society of highlytrained assassins.

And Jason is a gun-toting hero,forged into sharpened titanium by a life of misery and pain.

The way both men’s faces light upwhen Dick enters cooing down at the fussy bundle in his arms, Damian followingclose on his heels, is so off putting it makes Bruce want to leave the room.

“I think she’s hungry, Jay,” Dicksays, gently putting the baby in Jason’s arms when he reaches for his daughter.

“Of course she is. I heard yousneak in at the ass crack of dawn to get her,” Jason says before singing downto his baby, “Uncle Dickie is even more smitten with you than we are, isn’the.”

The baby grins and giggles andreaches up to grasp her mama’s face.

Bruce’s ire has been dissipatingsince the moment Sora entered the room. She has Ra’s sharp features and darkerskin. But her eyes are all Jason. Wide, curious, intelligent, and the same shadeof aquamarine.

The way even Ra’s softens as hewatches Jason feed their daughter makes Bruce relax a little.

He knows Ra’s is purposefullymaking him uncomfortable. Flaunting his… entirely too sexual relationship with Bruce’sson in his face, just to be an ass.

But Bruce also knows that Ra’scares about Jason. And their daughter. Maybe he can put up with the Demon. ForJason’s sake.

If he stops reacting, maybe Ra’swill no longer find enjoyment in his torment. Maybe they can find a way tocoexist.

The al Ghul’s have already agreedto keep their work out of Gotham as a result of this union. Perhaps they cancontinue to move in a positive direction.

“Shouldn’t be too much longerbefore I can start patrols again, boss,” Jason says, still smiling down at his pup.“Just a few more months. Tops.”

The comment snaps him back to themoment. “You plan on returning? But—”

“I would reconsider your approach,Detective. He is quite adamant.” Ra’s goes stiff as he says it. Means it’ssomething they’ve discussed before. Means that Ra’s disapproves but isn’t tryingto force the issue. Letting Jason make decisions about his own life.

It’s something Bruce still struggleswith, people making decisions he disagrees with and sticking to them even whenhe’s outlined why they’re wrong.

But he’ll be damned if he lets Ra’sal Ghul be more understanding than him. And it occurs to Bruce that the wayJason mentioned it was to get the fight out done with and he’s certainly notgoing to be the one to disturb the weird happy family aura everyone is projectingright now.

“We’ve talked about it,” Jason says,still without tearing his eyes away. He’s been in awe of Sora ever since helaid eyes on her. Bruce questions whether he’ll actually be able to leave herto return to his incredibly dangerous night job when the time comes. “I’m goingto move back to Gotham full time. Ra’s will pass most his duties to Talia on aprobationary basis at first.”

He looks up at Ra’s out of thecorner of his eyes with a quirk to his mouth that says he thinks his husband isbeing ridiculous. Then Jason glances around the table. At Dick who is stillmaking faces at Sora, at Damian who is ordering more baby toys from histablet, at Alfred who looks relaxed in a way Bruce hasn’t seen in… well, maybehasn’t ever seen.

Finally Jason’s eyes find his andhold Bruce’s gaze.

“Lots of parents go back to workafter they have kids, B. Especially if it’s something they love doing. I think havingthis will make me a better parent. And Sora has so many people who love herhere. Dick’s already agreed to watch her at least one night a week and let mecover for him in Bludhaven. And Damian said he’d be willing to switch off too,if it was ok with you.”

That makes Bruce’s heart skip abeat. “You want to patrol with me? As partners?”

Jason smiles up at him and it’spurest, brightest thing Bruce has seen on his face since Bruce signed theadoption papers.

“Of course. You’re my dad. It’stime we reconnect.”

Jason refers to him as ‘dad’ socasually Bruce has to repeat the sentence in his head several times for it toprocess. He hasn’t been the best at showing it in the past, but reconnecting withJason, having the family complete again, has been his heart’s deepest desire.

“And once a week you’llstay behind,” Jason adds. “Bond with your granddaughter.”

Bruce is nodding before Jason evenfinishes the sentence. When his relationship with Talia came to and end, Brucewas positive he’d never have to worry about welcoming Ra’s into his family. Itwas, in a small way, after the heartbreak over his split had subsided some,been a relief. The al Ghul’s and the Wayne’s are too ideologically opposed.

But if Jason’s relationship withRa’s (he refuses to acknowledge that his ex’s father is now his legal son-in-law)is what heals the deep wounds between both himself and Jason and Damian withhis family, then he’ll consider that a win. Well worth every concession.

Still.

He fixes Ra’s with Batman’s steelygaze.

The old man just chuckles untilJason elbows him lightly in the ribs. Then he clears his throat.

“I apologize for tormenting you inyour own home. I have been reprimanded and we—” another elbow, “—I willbe appropriately considerate moving forward. You have been a most gracious host,detective.”

Dick and Damian look confused, butthat’s because they don’t share a wall with the new al Ghuls. Jason would bethe picture of calm if it wasn’t for the way he won’t meet Bruce’s eyes and thelight dusting of heated color on his cheeks.

“Uh… thank you,” Bruce says,feeling heat rise in his own face. “I would appreciate that very much.”

There’s a beat of near silence wherethe only sound is happy baby gurgles.

“Well then,” Alfred says as hestands and starts to clear the table, “here’s to a bold new adventure.”

[bat-lings]

I love everyone in the batfam no matter how problematic, but the Rhato 25 discourse bothered me. As a Bruce fan I didn't like the complete crucifixion of his character by the Jason diehards. Personally I feel Bruce was justified (the brutality felt like a publicity stunt for shock value, which I didn't like), but seeing these same fans (that hate Bruce for daring to hurt their fav) then celebrate when Jason did the exact same thing to Damian in the teen titans annual. It's so hypocritical.

Oh, Anon, I fear you inadvertently put the finger on the exact thing I despise about current storylines. I agree in that they’re taking the shock value too far and that every character suffers for it.

Frankly, I have more of a problem with what the fans are served than with how they reacted to it.

Fair warning, I’m gonna get very critical with the writing of the two events Anon mentioned. I’d be extra interested to hear about those events from the perspective of someone who actually enjoyed them, but it’s not worth your good mood if reading a post basically trashing said storylines upsets you.

I’ll respectfully disagree about Bruce’s behavior towards Jason. It was excessively brutal and nothing justified it. The scene can be summed up to shock value, to the point it would need to be entirely rewritten to exonerate Bruce. Jason relapsed into lethal force for understandable reasons. Even if we consider nothing excuses Jason; even in an alternative scenario where he’d have shot the Penguin out of the blue, Bruce’s behavior would be plain wrong.

Bruce went after him, assaulted him, and kept on beating him while Jason wasn’t defending himself.

Let’s forget this was Jason for a second. This is not the kind of violence Bruce should resort to against any criminal. I don’t just mean that hey, this isn’t ideal morally speaking, I mean that Bruce Wayne, as a character, as the man who was always written to believe in redemption/rehabilitation, as the man who willed never to use lethal or even unnecessary force, can’t do this and pretend to be remotely what Bruce’s character is supposed to represent. I hate it every time Bruce is written to use that kind of empty violence, preboot or reboot. Miller went down that road too and it never fulfilled my idea of entertainment.

Then you add on the fact that Jason’s his son, and it makes it all so much worse. Bruce legit puts the blame on Jason, not only during the confrontation (“I told you if you left me it’d be your choice”), but also in a later issue when Lobdell serves us a disastrous attempt at a reconciliation scene. “I love you but you deserved a kick in the ass.” Like, I don’t think Lobdell could’ve portrayed a more abusive father-figure if he wanted to.

As a comparison, have similar confrontations between Bruce and Dick in preboot.

[Batman (1940) #600]

So here there’s an actual fight. Dick is actively participating rather than being used as Bruce’s punching-ball. Power-wise, they’re equals.

You want a true equivalent to the scene between Jason and Bruce, where Dick suffers from a power-imbalance + Bruce being toxic?

[New Titans (1988) #55]

Note how it doesn’t go further than a punch because it’s bad enough that way and doesn’t need to escalate further to drive the narrative home. There’s no “I love you but you deserved a punch” bullshit later on either.

Even in Teen Titans: Year One where Bruce was particularly terrible (too much imo), he’s brainwashed when he hits Dick and nothing in the story/framing exonerates Bruce for his global behavior.

Those confrontations had a place in their narratives other than shock value. Bruce’s descent after Jason’s death, his mental state in Murderer/Fugitive. They illustrate how fucked up Bruce is at a specific moment due to specific events and context. They’re not casually dismissed afterwards by a hug and a dubious line. And again, they don’t require Bruce to beat Dick half to death to drive their point home.

By the way, this is reconciliation.

[Batman (1940) #605]

This is a component of the circle of abuse.

[Red Hood and the Outlaws (2016) #27]

“I love you. If only you weren’t so stubborn, you wouldn’t deserve an occasional kick in the ass. Like when I inflicted you severe physical trauma. But I love you anyway. Aaah, the woes of father-son relationships!”

There was no narrative reason for Bruce to take it that far with Jason in rhato. It’s just physically more violent and emotionally less impactful, because it’s so damn cheap and because it tries to pass abuse for a normal familial dissension that can be cured with a hug. I can’t get emotionally engaged with that kind of writing.

It’s a reboot, it’s entitled to change characters, but it’s simply not a Bruce I recognize nor one whose existence I’m particularly eager to acknowledge.

As for the Jason-Damian confrontation…

I don’t care that Jason didn’t want to fight and tried so hard to de-escalate the situation until Damian pulled out that mystery drama-box. I don’t care that Damian’s a trained fighter. Frankly, I don’t care about the specifics. At the end of the day, an adult beat the shit out of a child. A child who was framed in earlier appearances to be his little brother. A writer/editorial team/whoever the hell made the conscious choice to put those characters in the specific situation where an adult would beat the shit of a child family member.

You know, for all that I hate TT#29 for its cheap violence (and Jason’s less than ideal portrayal), it at least had the decency to oppose two characters of roughly the same age. And in this continuity, Jason was revived to be a villain. I may not like it but it’s expected that he acts villainous towards the fam, or Tim here. Plus Tim and Jason were never ever portrayed as brothers in post-crisis. They’re strangers. Them beating each other simply doesn’t have the same significance.

Have another preboot parallel where neither perpetrators are villains.

[Red Robin #14]

Here the writer puts Tim in a situation where he has to defend himself against a ten-year-old. There’s a punch, and then the violence stops. That’s it. Much like the preboot Dick-Bruce confrontations, it doesn’t need to be taken further. The story delivers its point without any ten-year-old getting beaten senseless by an older ally.

Seriously, how does this…

[Batman (2016) #16]

…exist in the same continuity as this?

[Teen Titans Annual 1 (2019)]

How is this a good way to portray familial dissensions/confrontations of any kind?

You’re the writer. You decide if the 20 something is gonna throw hands with the 13 year old. You decide how the father figure reacts to the son’s actions. You decide how far each confrontation goes. You decide whether two characters that were explicitly portrayed as brothers are gonna bleed each other out. You decide whether the father figure is abusive. You decide what happens, how it happens, how it’s resolved, and how every element is framed.

Physical violence is just another narrative tool that should be used to construct a story. You can’t just throw it in, dial it up to 11, and hope it’ll make your scene impactful. It just proves you don’t know how to write a vivid scene without relying on cheap tricks.

Anon, I get your frustration, I don’t like what’s done of Bruce either. I made a post about his parental failures in preboot ( bat-lings.tumblr .com/post/180901354160/do-you-think-bruce-was-a-bad-father-im-starting); none of them ever reached rhato’s caricatural empty brutality. Bruce is less and less well received by fans as he’s sometimes instrumentalized in sequences that don’t fit his character. It’s not fair on him.

But I can’t seem to disconnect with what we are given long enough to worry about how we react to it. And to be fair I’ve seen as many posts hating on Jason’s recent actions than hating on Bruce’s.

Tbh bad writing/ooc-ness aside there’s little anyone can say to exonerate either character here. The fans are reacting vividly because they’re faced with a story that has little else to sell other than vivid brutality. We all go “gasp!”, pick sides, and that’s it. It’s hard to breed interesting discussion among fans with that configuration.

The good news is, each of those characters have seen better days, and not everything in reboot is as bad as the above sequences. Also we have fanfictions :D

[whindsor]

a little talk about babies

ship: implied mucky, mika/pepper friendship rating: teen word count: 1,250 prompt: for @buckysbitch4hire, who won a spot in the SaH 1k giveaway and wanted mika and pepper after endgame!

Whoever said pregnancy was beautiful lied. 

Mika felt bloated constantly, but also somehow hungry, and yet also nauseated. It was terrifying to feel as her clothes started getting tighter, and despite being so happy about becoming a mother, she’d cried the day she was no longer able to button her jeans. Of course, then Bucky pointed out that now she could wear leggings and his flannels constantly and no one would be allowed to judge her for it, and her tears had stopped immediately. 

She wandered up to the penthouse of the Stark tower, renamed now in memory of Tony, in an effort to find some tea to stave off the “morning” sickness (though why they called it morning sickness when it lasted all day, she’d never know). Bucky was down in a meeting with Sam and Bruce, and while she normally liked to sit in on these little get togethers (to know exactly what Bucky was getting himself into), this morning she needed a little bit of space. She found the peppermint tea in the cupboard and heated up a mug of water to drop the bag into, resting her head against the cabinet and absent-mindedly rubbing her belly as she watched the tea slowly steep.

“You okay?” someone asked, making Mika jump and hit her head against the cabinet. 

“Fuck!” she murmured, rubbing the offending spot and turning to see Pepper, a smile on her face and a tiny Morgan standing with her. She immediately felt herself pale. “Oh, my god, I’m so sorry.” 

“That’s alright,” Pepper said with a laugh, “she’s heard worse. My original question still stands, though.”

“Oh, right, uh, yes, thank you.” she said, her accent extra thick with her nerves. Her heart was still beating fast from the surprise. “I’m sorry, I was just trying to get some tea.” Her hands dropped protectively to her abdomen again, now that her headache was subsiding. Pepper gave her a sympathetic look.

“Morning sickness?” she asked, and Mika couldn’t help but blush as she nodded. Seemed mother’s intuition was universal. She hauled Morgan up, depositing her on the island before going to the pantry. “I never understood why they called it that when it lasted all day.”

“I’ve said the exact same thing.” Mika agreed with a smile. Pepper pulled out a different box, this time of ginger and lemon tea. 

“Trust me, this is the one you want.” she said, and she began preparing a cup for her before Mika could say anything. “How far along are you?”

“Nineteen weeks.” she said. Pepper nodded again, smiling.

“Good news is, the nausea will probably stop soon. Bad news is, that’s when the kicking starts.” she said with a grin. As if to augment her point, Morgan started kicking her legs, her heels making a rhythm on the cabinets below her. 

“Mom said I was a good kicker.” she said, and Mika wondered not for the first time exactly how old she was. Pepper smiled, raising her eyebrows and giving her daughter an amused look.

“You were. You even bruised a rib once. Daddy was very impressed, said that you were already the strongest Avenger.” she said, making Morgan laugh. Mika stayed quiet, unsure of how to continue the conversation when she so casually mentioned her late husband. Pepper looked to her, and her expression changed to one of annoyance. “No, no making that face. I get enough of that face from other people.” she said, dropping the tea bag into the now-warm water and going to get some honey.

“Sorry.” Mika said, still rubbing her belly just to give her hands something to do. “Is the kicking bad?” 

“First few times, it’s the most amazing thing you’ve ever felt in your life.” she replied, looking nostalgic and happy. “Then it just gets annoying. I’ll tell you the secret though: ice packs.”

“Ice packs?” she asked, unsure of where she was going with this. Pepper nodded enthusiastically.

“She liked to hang out up here,” she said, gesturing to the top of her stomach, “but put on a little ice pack, and she’d wander back where she was supposed to be. Still don’t like the cold, do you bug?”

“No!” Morgan said emphatically. Pepper handed the mug to Mika before going back to the pantry, getting out some bread and peanut butter. Mika felt bad for distracting them; clearly they were here to get the girl a snack. 

“And the ending...how bad is it?” Mika asked, the question that had been plaguing her since she found out she was pregnant. None of her friends had children, and her own mother still wasn’t taking her calls, despite everything. Pepper laughed, shaking her head.

“Horrible. It really is.” she said, making Mika’s heart drop and land somewhere in her shoes. “But the minute you hold them...you forget the pain. Then it’s just pride and love. Not to mention, you get to lord it over your husband for all eternity.”

Again, Mika was uncomfortable at the casual mention of Tony, and skirted around it. “I guess that’s why they give us medicine, hm?”

“If you get there in time, yes.” Pepper agreed, cutting the crusts off the peanut butter sandwich and handing it to her daughter. “Or, if you have a little nugget that likes to be very efficient, you get to do things all natural.”

“And the fear sinks right back in.” Mika said, cursing to herself (this time in Romanian). The tea Pepper made for her really did help, much more than the peppermint that she’d been drinking this whole time. The other woman laughed, coming up and putting a comforting hand on her shoulder. 

“You’re going to be fine. You’re much tougher than you give yourself credit for.” she said seriously, and Mika didn’t know if it was hormones or the fact that she was finally talking to someone who knew what she was going through, but she suddenly felt the prickle of tears behind her eyes. She gave into her instinct to pull Pepper into a hug, and while she was stiff at first in surprise, she soon sank into it and hugged her back. Even though there couldn’t be more than ten years between the two of them, there was still something special about getting a hug from a mom.

“Thank you.” she said quietly, sniffling and pulling back. She rolled her eyes at herself, wiping away the couple tears that had escaped. “Oh wow, I’m sorry.”

“No need to apologize.” she replied, still with that easy grin on her face. She held herself with such poise and strength, and Mika wondered how she did it. Pepper was clearly above her peers. She picked up her daughter and set her back on the floor, Morgan immediately taking off towards the door. “If you need anything, you can call me, okay?”

“Thank you.” she said again. “I appreciate that.”

Pepper smiled and gave her a nod before turning towards the door, Morgan already babbling happily about whatever mission they were on in the Tower. Alone in the silence, Mika picked up her tea and took another sip, letting the warmth soothe her. She thought she was going to be somewhat on her own with this pregnancy thing; sure, Bucky was there, and supportive, but he couldn’t really get it. But Pepper did. And she was kind, and helpful, and everything her mother should be at this time.

Perhaps she wasn’t as alone as she thought.

[sunlitroom]

Gotham – s4e08 – Stop Hitting Yourself

As I watched it, and some random observations here and there.

 Previously on Gotham:

Sofia manipulated Oswald. Jim and Oswald squabbled. Jim was self-righteous and forgetful. Harvey made a terrible mistake.  Selina, Tabitha and Barbara teamed up. Butch Lee and Ed teamed up.

As always, long post will be long.  There are likely to be rambling digressions. Gobblepot might appear (although I welcome all shippers and non-shippers alike :)).  There will be naked favouritism and naked not-favouritism.  Broader comments at the end on plotlines and parallels and general direction.

The Narrows, Cherry's Place, where Ed is putting on a pre-fight show all about

The most-hated man in Gotham, the Penguin!

Being Ed, it’s screechy and theatrical.  It’s also informed by personal knowledge – zeroing in on Oswald’s emotional neediness. Ed plays to the crowd, referring back to the joint raid on the area – yelling that Oswald underestimated the Narrows.

Lee watches, amused, while drinking pretty heavily.  I’m tee-total and even I would like a drink at this point.

The crowd starts cheering for Butch, who comes into the ring and mock-strangles Ed as Oswald. Finally, the pantomime ends and the lights go down.

(An aside.  I feel like they ‘re not sure what they want me to think about the Narrows. We’ve seen two sides to it.  We saw the ordinary people who were struggling day to day – the residents who were terrorised by HeadHunter last week.  The rest of the time, we see these people – baying for blood. That’s not a unified group.  In fact, in normal versions of places as poor and hard as this, the ordinary people we saw last week are as much at the mercy of these people – their own fellow residents – as they are anyone else.  The idea that this crowd is morally outraged at what happened last week is silly.  Beyond a knee-jerk response to having their toughness challenged - nope)

Cherry introduces main event. Mr Murderface, a misplaced HotCop with a poor sense of self-preservation, is going to fight Butch.

Lee and Ed watch from the balcony. Lee’s pissed that Ed’s whipping up a bloodlust in the crowd with no real sense of responsibility or leadership. Ed doesn’t care, and tells her that the fans are not his problem.  Lee persists, telling him that he can’t do this and then just bail when trouble arrives.  Ed retorts that Lee isn’t willing to step up either, and tells her to lead.  When she looks away, he tells her that seemingly neither of them are willing to put their necks out.

They look back down at the ring.  Costuming-wise, Lee is also in green this week – echoing Ed’s outfit, and reinforcing the sense of some kind of bond.

(An aside – I’m not massively sure what either of them wants the other to do here.  Lee is running a free clinic – what more is Ed looking for? As for Lee – does she think Ed is going to lead some kind of revolution?  If Ed were still working for Oswald, he wouldn’t give a stuff for anything that was going on in the Narrows.  He’s a fundamentally selfish, exploitative creature.  Aside from any of that, the notion that the Narrows’ troubles are all down to Oswald is plain old bizarre.  Go talk to Bruce, or any of the rich, influential people in the city who allowed it to slowly rot.)

The fight takes place. Butch seems to be getting flashbacks of Tabitha when he’s hit hard enough.  The fight continues, and it seems (I missed a lot of because I was covering the screen with my hands) that Butch rips off the other guy’s arm and beats him with it.  The crowd loves this, brainlessly whooping and roaring for more.  They chant stop hitting yourself – as this is clearly some kind of signature move of Butch’s.

(An aside - I hate all these people. Sorry. The part of me that likes all the order and discipline of the bad guys in Star Wars comes to the fore.  The Narrows needs the kind of help Lee offers in the shape of her clinic, but places like this just need swept away)

 Elsewhere in the city, we see a certificate which tells Jim he is now captain, as he is congratulated by the mayor.  Jim seems conflicted about this.  According to the mayor, Harvey lost the rank and file after the Narrows, due to allying with Oswald and falling into Pyg’s trap.  The Mayor calls him a disgrace.

(An aside. Hmmmmm.  Did Barnes lose the rank and file after the Strike Force debacle? After insisting that everyone drop their criminal activities?  I don’t think he did.  I’m not so sure – then – that Harvey would have.  He’s worked there for years.  Unless it’s being ‘one of us’ that’s worked against him this time)

Jim doesn’t like Harvey being called a disgrace, and asks the Mayor what that makes him.  The Major makes oily noises.  Jim then asks what Oswald thinks of this.  The Mayor says he doesn’t know – and says things that make us think that Oswald’s grip on power is loosening.  Jim still looks reluctant, and the Mayor pushes harder by telling him that none of the other candidates would hesitate at working with Oswald. If he just signs on the dotted line, then he’s the new captain.

He leaves Jim sitting alone, staring unhappily.  We hear the string music motif that they use for GCPD moments, but the notes are distorted.

Oswald is trying to adjudicate between a representative of the bikers SBT (it’s faster to give Selina, Babs and Tabs an acronym) robbed last week, and SBT themselves.

(An aside - The whole dispute sounds massively irritating.  Oswald – you must have made a fair amount of money by now, just quit. Go live a stupidly luxurious life somewhere nice.  Get pretty apartments in European cities.   Let them get arrested if they want. Whatever)

As they continue to argue, Mr Penn enters and tells Os in a whisper about the stage act.  Oswald, predictably, loses the plot.  Twitching with rage, he gestures to Mr Penn to tell everyone what has caused him flip out.  Poor Mr Penn explains how the ungrateful Ed is staging a commedia dell’arte.

Os is twitching with rage. Selina doesn't know what a commedia dell'arte is.   I’d like to think that Barbara and Tabitha look less confused, because that would be a nod to their doubtless expensive educations – but I may be deluding myself.  Selina laughs at Oswald’s reaction.  Tabitha nudges her to stop.

Too late, though. Oswald hears, and starts to laugh himself.  The biker totally misjudges the situation, thinks this is sincere, and starts to laugh too – saying that the Riddler doing a Penguin act is pretty funny.

This manages to press several of Oswald’s buttons at once, and he stabs him in a rage.  Babs thanks him for clearing their debt – but he tells them that they now owe him the debt and, since they like a good laugh, they can go to the Narrows see Ed’s act bringing him back by nightfall.

Selina doesn’t like this and tells him that they’re not his toadies, and wants to know what they get in return.  You get the debt cleared, Selina – did you miss that bit?

Barbara seems pleased by Selina’s attitude.  Moving closer, Oswald says he won’t tell every criminal in the city to murder them and rip out their eyes and tongues.  Tabitha shifts a little closer to Selina.  Oswald stares her in the eyes and tells her that is what she gets – if that’s acceptable.

Babs steps forward and tells him this is acceptable.  Before they leave, Selina smirks at Oswald.  After they’ve gone, Oswald tells Mr Penn to get in touch with his Narrows informer, and liaise with Firefly, who will kill SBT if they’re unsuccessful. Firefly asks Oswald about ripping out their eyes, but he tells her it’s too messy to be practical.

(An aside – I posted about this elsewhere but yes – while Oswald can be funny – the sheer amount of sneering sent his way is disproportionate, and this weird hate-figure everyone has of him makes no sense given their personal histories, in which there are plenty of real antagonists.  

But then, sneeriness is one of the main characteristics of the newly formed Sirens which – I have to confess – leaves me pretty cold.  There’s not much of substance there.  When Tabitha has become the warmest person in the trio – something bad has happened to your other characters.  Selina did used to be selfless, altruistic, warm, annoyed by unfairness – that all seems to have flown out the window in favour of this, which is a pretty poor trade-off, for me.)

In the city, Selina gives Barbara convenient backstory on the Narrows. Tabitha is distracted by the thought of getting her hands on Ed.  Barbara was in league with Ed, but this seems to be OK by Tabitha.  Selina asks whether Ed isn’t supposed to be a genius, but Barbara mentions the rumours about his new state of mind.  They decide to go prepared anyway – if by prepared they meant, just wander in and make no attempt to be inconspicuous.

Nothing, however, could prepare them for Ed’s act.  Babs is open-mouthed while Tabitha just looks revolted.  Her eyes wandering, presumably in a desperate bid not to look at the stage, Barbara spots Lee watching from the upper level. Meantime, Tabitha steps forward when Butch enters the ring.

Butch!

God – another arm is ripped off. Tabitha says his name again and asks Barbara if she knows what this means. Barbara thinks this means she is owed apologies for her electrocution.  Tabitha runs off to try to get to talk to Butch.  Barbara stares up at Lee again, and says that she has to know what is up with this outfit. Selina irritatedly mentions that they do have a job to do.

 GCPD. Harvey looks at bullets in a box.  Jim enters the room.  After last week’s unpleasantness, his tone is casual and friendly – mornin’ Harve.  He apologises for being late, and says he was stuck in traffic.  

Harvey tells him that these are the bullets taken from the wounded cops.  Jim tells him that he’s not responsible for that.  Pyg is the one who set the trap, and they need to move on and find him before he can hurt anyone else.

Harvey nods, seemingly grateful for the support.  Lucius walks in.  Jim asks him what the word is.

 The word, as it turns out, is ‘absence’, as in – there’s a lack of any useful physical evidence from the crime scenes.  Harvey says that Pyg is a crafty loony.  Jim and Lucius walk off to discuss the case more.  Harvey calls after Jim, and tells him he’d appreciate it if he’d be at the Bullethole Club with him today.  Jim tells him of course, and Harvey thanks him for having his back – calling him partner.

Lucius asks what this club is, and Jim explains that when officers shot in the line of duty come back they’re given the bullets that wounded them.  Lucius eyes widen, as he realises that Harvey will have to give bullets to the officer he shot, and comments that it’s no wonder Harvey wants a friend there.

 At the Orphanage, Oswald is ranting to a busy Sofia about Ed turning his idiocy into a way of taunting Oswald.  He says that no-one appreciates how hard it is to be a crimelord.  Sofia comments that she understands, since she grew up with one. Oswald smiles tightly, and asks if she’d like to go to lunch and

talk over the vagaries of this capricious calling

Unfortunately, Sofia has to see the caterer for a fundraiser.  Oswald is irritated and disappointed, and – grimacing - says of course he can't expect her to be at his beck and call.  Sofia gets up her chair and, as she walks closer to him, strokes his arm briefly, telling him that he needs a different source of relaxation. Oswald flusters for a moment before Sofia tells him he needs chickens.  

Oswald blinks at the sudden shift in tone.  Sofia continues, and Oswald tells her than he does remember the Don’s predilection for chickens.  She tells him life can’t just be about business, and when her father was stressed, he spent time with his birds.

Oswald seems puzzled until Sofia clarifies that he needs some kind of interest outside the business. She smiles and tells him to give it some thought, and they’ll talk when she gets back.  Oswald smiles incredulously as she leaves, repeating chickens to himself.  

He wanders over to the window and watches as a small boy is bullied in the playground by a much larger boy and girl.  After they finish with him, the small boy walks away with some purpose.  Oswald watches him frowning and then wide-eyed as he sees him with a can of kerosene (where the fuck did he get that?) and matches. He calls out the window.

Boy - come here this instant

When Oswald asks him what he was going to do, the boy – seemingly mute – draws a fire on a notepad he keeps round his neck.  Oswald tells him he cannot do things like that. The boy looks serious, and then Oswald follows up with your enemies will know that it was you, and then he looks happier – albeit sinister.

(An aside – there’s quite a lot here.  First of all, a small point, but Oswald’s got a huge vocabulary – he’s pretty wordy later, too.  I always headcanon that he skipped a lot of school due to bullying, but that Gertrud probably had a lot of old books lying around.  Oswald’s vocab at points throughout this episode has that feel to it.

Next up.  Oswald is openly confiding in Sofia here, and seeking out her company.  I think it’s worth noting that given the change in mood later in the episode which, to me, feels very abrupt.

Again with Sofia there’s the combination of sincerity with manipulation.  From what she’ll say to Jim later, she’s still plotting Oswald’s downfall – if, indeed, she’s being sincere with Jim.  In the meantime, though, the observation that Oswald needs some other interest to provide relaxation seemed a genuine one, and she’s not wrong.

The moment with her hand on his arm was brief, but it was there.  Oswald, for a split second, thought she was going to suggest something romantic/sexual – otherwise the chicken comment wouldn’t have confused him so much, and he wouldn’t have been so flustered.  It’s interesting to wonder whether Sofia still has that option on the table in the event that she feels it would be useful.  I’m also not entirely sure how Oswald, as we see him in this scene, would have reacted.  I’ve never really felt that Oswald has demonstrated any physical attraction towards women at any point on the show.  However, while he was presented as flustered, we were not shown him recoiling, or stepping away.  I don’t know whether they’ll follow this up, although it would be pretty twisted, given – as we’ll see later – that he starts to get suspicious of her.)

Backstage at the Narrows, Tabitha hugs a confused Butch, and then frowns when she realises that there’s something very wrong with him

On the gallery, Lee is looking out when Barbara covers her eyes and gives a

Guess who?

Psycho killer stalker

Lee is aiming a gun, but Barbara says if she was going to shoot her she’d have done it by now.  Lee backhands her instead, commenting that it felt good.  Barbara regroups quickly, and literally turns the other cheek – but Lee seemingly only wanted one slap.  She tells Barbara that this seems like a low rent neighbourhood for her, and on hearing that she’s working, tells her that being Penguin's flunkey suits her. Barbara has a jab at her own life choices.  Lee tells her that some people make decisions not just for themselves but for others.

(An aside.  Lee talked earlier about her guilt over stopping Jim from preventing the release of the virus, although she did mention being infected. I’m not sure if I’m to assume here that she’s also feeling guilty about the selfishness of infecting herself in the first place?  If not, she’s a bit hypocritical.  That was as self-indulgent as it gets).

Barbara comments that she’s sexy and self-righteous now, and asks what Jim makes of this.  Lee offers a flat Jim who? – before swigging back more booze.  Barbara smiles.  She tells her it’s been interesting, but she has to get back to her kidnapping.  Lee takes a minute to put two and two together, and rushes after her.

 Ed is tying up his laces and fails to twig that the little girl voice congratulating him is a ruse. Selina kicks him hard in the face, and – unimpressed – comments that she though he was supposed to be smart.

Jim and Sofia walking together.  She’s telling him to relax – that she has Oswald wrapped around her finger.  Jim brandishes the certificate and asks her to explain this, if she has such a good grip on him.  She tells him that wasn’t Oswald – and that the mayor and commissioner presumably just feel the wind changing.

Light dawns for Jim.

it was you.  You must have made a hell of a contribution

She makes a deprecating face and says no – it was just the Falcone name.  Jim says he won’t do it – not like this, at Harvey’s expense.  Sofia impatiently tells him Harvey is weak, and asks when he’ll stop propping him up, and how many cops have to die due to his incompetence.

Turning to face him, looking displeased, she tells him he needs to stop pretending that he’s not taking the job.  Jim protests, but she said if that were the case, then he’d have thrown the contract away. Walking away from him, she tells him to visit after he takes command, and that they’ll celebrate.

(An aside – Jim is not bright.  Not only did he think Oswald might be behind that promotion, he seemed surprised to hear that it was Sofia.  He then had the nerve to be affronted by her methods, when they met while he was begging her gangster father for a favour.  I just…. what?)

Oswald and Martin are in the office.  Oswald is telling him that revenge can’t just be tit for tat.  It has to be specific.  He asks Martin what he imagines revenge to be, and he draws his enemies dead with knives in their eyes.  Oswald feels this is a little overly ambitions, and tells him to be crafty. Oswald’s hair is deliberately styled in this scene to look like a devil’s horns.

He tells Martin that friendship itself can be a deadly tactic, and asks him how he might use it. Martin writes that his enemies are failing maths.  Oswald guesses that Martin is very good at maths, and asks him to tell him more.

 We see Martin enact his revenge.  He makes a friend of one bully by letting her copy his maths test.  Out in the playground, he then pretends that the other bully hit him.  His new-found friend is outraged, and his enemies end up fighting each other.

He smiles and makes his way to Oswald, who praises him and tells him

See? Minions are so much better than friends

Martin frowns and writes on his pad.

But I'm YOUR friend

He smiles.  Oswald tears the page out in a temper.  He tells Martin the greatest friend he had became his worst enemy.  Friendship should be shunned.  They’re better than friends.  They’re conspirators.

He shakes hands with Martin. Martin looks back at his still fighting classmates, smiles, and walks off.  Oswald watches him go, smiling.  He then glances back at the page and looks pained.  He closes his eyes for a moment before leaving himself.

(An aside.  Oh Oswald….

In a slightly longer aside, Oswald’s state of mind is not good.  I mean, it’s never good – but his response to Martin’s assertion of friendship is painful.  He’s on the edge of what looks a lot like a breakdown a couple of times in this episode.  

It’s also a little confusing.  Yes – Ed’s stageshow has reopened old wounds – although Oswald conveniently glosses over the fact that he murdered Ed’s girlfriend.  However, his recent interaction with Sofia – so we’ve been led to believe – has encouraged him to believe in the idea of friendship again, their scene where he tells her that it’s hard for him to trust, even earlier – when he genuinely wants to have lunch with her.  Yet here he’s violently anti-friendship again?)

 In the Narrows, there’s a messy scene I’ll tie up fast.  Selina has Ed tied up – which pleases Babs.  Tabitha is trying to get through to Butch, showing him her scar – but just as he’s getting somewhere, Butch says Ed restrained and flips out.  Tabitha tries to convince him that Ed’s not his friend, while Ed tells Butch to rip them all to pieces.

(Just an aside – in an episode where Oswald is apparently the lowest of the low, we know that Butch could actually physically do this)

Lee appears on the scene, and says that they’re not taking Ed anywhere.  Barbara dismissively calls her a bleeding heart.  As everyone squabbles more – Selina calls on some law of the Narrows: they settle this in the ring.

 Nighttime in the Narrows, and this pantomime again.  Fuck off with this, Ed.

Cherry watches alongside Lee.  Ed announces that the winner tonight takes…. him.  Not even for free, Ed.

At the ringside, Tabitha is confident Butch loves her too much to hurt her.  Barbara tells her she loves her faith – but wants her to take a large club.

Lee and Cherry are still watching.  Lee is worried that Butch will throw the fight because of his relationship with Tabitha – but Cherry says it doesn’t matter: Ed will be taken to Oswald anyway.

In the ring, Tabitha keeps trying to get Butch to remember her.  Butch hits her very hard in the face.  Tabitha falls to the floor, and Selina and Babs urge her to get up. Butch grabs her by the leg, but Tabitha grabs the club and hits him in the face with it.  Butch starts flashing back to moments with Tabitha.  He blinks round at the crowd, and then at her, and manages a Tabby?  This – however – coincided with Tabitha taking another swing, and he drops.  Tabitha drops to her knees beside him.

 At the bar where the bullet ceremony will take place, Harvey hasn’t shown up.  A disappointed Jim hands out the bullets in his stead. Officer Patel attends in a wheelchair. Jim squeezes her hand lightly when he gives her the bullets.  She nods in response to his salute, and he swallows.

 Back at the Narrows the crowd is screaming as Tabitha tries to wake Butch.  Babs tries to leave with Ed, but the crowd won't let them leave.  Firefly arrives, she tells everyone – in the name of Penguin – to back off, and tells an incredulous Selina and Barbara that they missed the deadline.

Ed is now trying to wake Butch up.  He’s confused and angry – but very scared of fire too.  This amuses Brigit.  Selina calls up to her, and tells her she’s from the Narrows.  Brigit says that this is true – and she couldn’t wait to escape. She also says she agrees with Oswald – the place is a sewer.  She’s going to burn it down.

Lee approaches her on the stairs.  She tells Firefly she's the only thing that stinks here and shoots a gas canister on her back, knocking her out.  Ed laughs maniacally, while Barbara stares.

An irate Cherry tells Lee Firefly is Oswald’s enforcer.  Lee – in turn – tells the whole crowd that Cherry works with Oswald.  Cherry tells the jeering crowd to shut up – this is her club, her turf, and they’re all scum.  She points at SBT and tells the mob that they’re the problem – they work for Oswald.

Babs sees this means death at the hands of an angry mob and shoots Cherry.  The crowd is silent.  Barbara announces that they no longer work for Oswald.  The crowd cheers.

Barbara – all the while retreating – tells Selina that they sure love their coldblooded murder down here. Meantime, Ed is trying to encourage Butch up from the ground, telling him that the fire lady can’t hurt him, while Tabitha promises she’ll come back for him.

Barbara glances up at Lee and makes good her escape.  Lee smiles down at her, satisfied.  The power has shifted in their interactions – and Lee is now the one to be feared, not Barbara.

(An aside – Cherry’s death seemed rather wasteful.  She was a very striking character – what was the point of ditching her so easily?)  

GCPD, where Harvey drinks alone at his desk.  A sad-eyed Jim enters the room and asks Harvey where he was.  A drunk Harvey tells him he was having a little drink and invites him to join.  Jim shakes his head.  Harvey tells him not to be like that and fixes him one anyway.

Jim tells him those cops were waiting for him.  Harvey bitterly says only because they wanted to spit in his face.  Jim says yes – if that’s what they wanted to do.  He owed it to them to look them in the eye, and if he’d done that, then he’d have got their respect.

A bleary-eyed Harvey glares at Jim like he’s stupid and tells him that he doesn’t deserve their respect.  How could he have possibly looked Patel in the eye.  Jim tells him that’s the job – taking responsibility for what happens to his cops.  Harvey angrily asks if he’s telling him what the job is.  Jim simply answers yes.

Well today, Jim - I just couldn’t do the job - so I sent you because I knew you could

Jim tells him that’s not good enough, not today.  They needed him.  Harvey tells him that there’s nothing he can do about it now.

Rising, Jim asks Harvey for a pen.  Damn, Jim – this is cold.  He signs the contract and shows him it – telling him that he’s relieved from duty. Harvey looks pained and bitter.

Well well - look who finally got what he always wanted.  But what did you have to do to get it?

Jim sanctimoniously remarks that all he did with his job.  Jim’s job description apparently specified collusion with the mafia.  

Harvey narrows his eyes. He comments that

Nothing in Gotham is free, Captain Gordon

Taking his hat and bottle, he shambles out.

As he’s about to leave, he turns and tells Jim

You just better hope you can pay up when the bills due - and it'll come, too.

Jim is left alone. Interestingly – we leave him facing the empty chair.  This role doesn’t yet truly belong to Jim.

 Night-time in the office at the Orphanage.   We hear cricket noises

(An aside – crickets? Is Gotham warm enough?)

Oswald is teaching Martin how to stab someone in the heart.

Sofia enters, momentarily pleased that Oswald has met Martin – less so when she sees what they’re doing. A twitchy Mr Penn interrupts to tell Oswald of the comprehensive failure of the night.  Oswald yells.  Interestingly, we see Sofia jump.  She’s usually fairly smooth with just about everything – but if this episode has tried to remind us of anything, it’s that Oswald has a hair-trigger temper.

He adds that Jim was promoted.  We see Sofia look shiftily back at Oswald.  Martin steps forward, seemingly because he can see that Oswald is upset.  Oswald however, coughs and seemingly manages to control himself, remarking that

That is quite a lot to go awry in one day

A relieved Mr Penn leaves. A smiling Sofia turns to Oswald and tells him.

You see, Oswald - business is not the end of life.  There are other rewards: companionship, peace of mind, friendship

She hugs him.  Oswald’s face over her shoulder has about 10 different emotions shifting over it.  

She invites him to dinner back at her house (did she forget she invited Jim?), but Oswald says Martin needs more training.

As she leaves, a strained Oswald passes his hand over his face.  Turning to Martin, he says

Martin - remind me: what did we learn today about friendship?

Martin draws a picture of people stabbing each other in the back.  Oswald smiles.

Yes.   If you’re not careful, friendship can blind you to what is staring you in the face.

Turning, he walks to the window and watches Sofia leave.  His jaw clenches. Behind him, Martin watches.

Lee examines Butch, calling him ‘big guy’ with some degree of fondness.  In the background, Ed is admiringly mimicking what she said to Firefly.  Lee better hope Ed doesn’t go wig-shopping, or she’ll be the latest character in his show.

Lee brushes it off, and tells him that she gets melodramatic under pressure, asking Butch how he is.  Butch tells her that he’s confused.  Ed looks round the crowd – quiet for once.  Lee asks what’s going on with them.  Ed says that they’re acknowledging their new leader.   Lee rolls her eyes and asys that they do love him.  Ed comments that he thought he was supposed to be the dumb one, and points out that she is the new leader.  She heals their children and their warriors – vanquished a fire-breathing monster, killed the queen.

He then uses the same line as the mayor used on Jim.  If she doesn’t do it, someone else will – likely someone worse than Cherry.  A nervous Lee looks rounds and asks where she should start.  Ed tells her to do something to make them happy.  Lee thinks for a moment before calling drinks on the house!  Ed tells her that was a good move, and Lee smiles – enjoying her new position.

 Outside Sofia’s house, Jim is waiting on the steps.  She smiles as she gets out the car, commenting that he came to celebrate after all. Seeing his face, though, she asks what’s wrong – she made him captain, after all.  

Jim stares and echoes you made me.  Yes, Jim – this is why you turned Falcone down way back when you arrived in town.  You knew how hollow it would be to know that he owned you – so quite why you were so willing to go ahead with this is a mystery.  He bitterly tells her that she can toy with Penguin all she wants (er – no she can’t, Jim.  Oswald has caught on faster than you, even though you knew the score from the beginning) - but he’s not her puppet.

She retorts that he’s not her puppet, he’s her partner.  Jim sneers at her.  He tells her he just stuck a knife in his partner’s back.  Sofia tells him coldly that was a mercy killing, and that he needs to grow up.  He wanted a gangster to help get rid of Oswald, and this is what that help looks like.  Harvey had to go.

Jim – now showing an eye-watering lack of awareness – tells her that he doesn’t need her help anymore, and that it’s time she left Gotham.  Did Jim honestly think she’d just go because he said so?  Wow.  Sofia smiles, and tells him that she’s not going anywhere. She came here to restore the Falcone name.  Standing in the doorway, she asks him again to come in and celebrate.  Jim answers that he’d rather stay out here where he can breathe.

(An aside – the wounded self-righteousness after you’ve got what you wanted - a destabilised Oswald and more power – doesn’t count for much, Jim)

He turns and walks away. Sofia watches, obviously displeased, the wobble to her jaw similar to Oswald’s anger earlier.

 General Observations

Remind me, what did we learn today about friendship?

To Oswald, friendship is a double-edged sword.  He’s desperate to be loved – hence Ed’s harping on that point in his show.  He’s also pretty desperate to give love, but we often see this impulse stymied, or twisted into different shapes – like his mentoring of Martin.  He’s decided now – apparently – that the whole venture leaves you too vulnerable to hurt, instead talking about conspirators, minions – anything to avoid the word he used to use so often.

All that said, he seems to have had the wool pulled over his eyes by Sofia.  His relationship with her has seemed to jump about here – and I felt that some more ‘show your working’ would have been nice in this episode.  He goes from being apparently clueless that he’s being manipulated to all out suspicion.  The hug seems to have been the moment this happened – but it’s hard to exactly say why.

Somewhat ironically, Sofia is currently probably closer to Oswald than she is Jim.  She’s hard to read – but some of her advice to Oswald seems pretty sincere.  That’s not to say she probably wouldn’t be able to knife him in the back – Oswald, too, can profess fondness for someone and still want them dead, but it’ll be interesting to see where things go.

Lee and Ed are forming a strange little partnership.  I’m not massively sure why – aside from the money – Lee prevented him from being kidnapped, but we’ll see if Ed can manage some gratitude.

Jim and Harvey’s friendship is disintegrating.  This whole ‘Harvey is weak and incompetent’ feels too sudden and contrived to me, to be honest.  We’ve had seasons of Harvey pretty deftly treading the line between managing Jim and the rest of GCPD, covering for Jim on several occasions, and sitting down and actually using his brain when Jim just wanted to speed ahead.  For him to be over on the basis of one bad decision seems strange, and – to be honest – the decision itself was OOC.

As for Jim – Harvey is his closest confidante and best friend.  He can feel disappointed by his failure to show up at the bullet club – but his total condemnation was cold.  It was also utterly hypocritical.  Jim might be the hero right now, but he’s going to topple from that pedestal fast when everyone finds out he’s been colluding with the mob. Also – am I ever going to find out why Harvey is in such dire financial straits? No?

Lots of power shifts too. in this episode, some less evident than others, and some only superficial.

At first glance, power has moved in Jim’s direction.  He’s been given the captaincy over Harvey.  We know, however, what Harvey can only suspect: Jim is not his own creature. He’s not earned this.  Sofia used the fear and power of the Falcone name to obtain it.  Jim’s essentially meekly taken what Falcone dangled in front of him way back in season one. Sofia says they’re partners – but the truth stings for Jim: he’s her puppet.

Power is slipping away from Oswald, which is intolerable for him – because Oswald has learned that the only way to guarantee yourself respect and safety is through power. When you lose it, you’re at the mercy of others – and that’s not a safe place to be in Gotham.  

He has - though – regained some personal power in the shape of his new-found suspicion of Sofia.  He’s not quite as meek and clueless as she thinks – which could lead to very unpleasant time for her later.

As for Sofia – she’s seemingly on top, but wobbling more than we’ve seen.  Jim’s suspicion has blossomed into outright rejection.  She can’t very well rescind the captaincy now, either – not without looking indecisive.  We now know that Oswald is suspicious.  Martin is an unknown quantity, but I wouldn’t be surprised if he ferried information to Oswald.

Lee unexpectedly found herself with power and seems to like it.  That was a very amused smile she sent Barbara’s way as she scurried quickly home.  How she’ll run the Narrows remains to be seen, as does the possible role Ed might play by her side.

Randomly thinking of Carmine – he’s very quiet.  He’s not remotely suspicious that Sofia left town almost immediately after Jim’s visit? Surely he’d have people still in Gotham reporting back to him?

Lastly – the title – stop hitting yourself.  Harvey doesn’t think he deserves respect or forgiveness, and is drinking self-destructively.    Oswald losing his temper resulted in strategic losses at the Narrows, and his angry shunning of the friendship Martin offered seemed to physically pain him.  Jim put the cherry on his self-destructive cake by taking the captaincy obtained through mafia interference, and stabbing his friend in the back.

Thoughts?

[hysterialevi]

In the Smoke pt. 17 (Cobblebats)

From Falcone’s POV

LATER THAT WEEK

Picking up a glass of champagne from one of the tables, I took a short sip before turning to greet the flood of guests filling up my manor, their chatter starting to drown out the eloquent music in the background. It was a fine evening tonight, and most of Gotham had seemed to calm down just a little ever since old Ham’s death. Though, they were still worried about the dire threat of Penguin and his men.

I had to admit, a lot more people showed up than I expected. Even though Penguin had been somewhat quiet recently, most of the city was still on edge ever since the horrific debate, and lived in a constant state of worry, hiding in their homes for the majority of the day. I saw no reason for them to break that routine, but perhaps they saw this banquet as a chance to forget all about it.

Normally, I wouldn’t have chosen to throw a banquet in a time such as this, but with Ham dead, it was important that I made new allies. I trusted Tommy with my life, sure, but he was just one man. And one man wasn’t enough to watch my back. Not to mention that he was on the verge of losing his own company and being dragged through the dirt by the press. I needed someone else to help carry the weight. Someone with a bit more muscle. The only question right now, was who?

“Carmine.” A familiar voice said from behind me. I smiled to myself.

“Well,” I spun around and opened my arms in a welcoming manner. “Speak of the devil. You know, Tommy, I was just thinking about you.”

The other man didn’t return the smile. Instead, he only scanned the crowds with narrowed, suspicious eyes before approaching me and lowering his voice to the point where it was almost inaudible.

“Something wrong, old friend?” I questioned. “You look a bit...troubled.”

Tommy leaned in and whispered. “Carmine, you need to get out of here. Now. You’re in serious danger tonight.”

I chuckled. “Whoa, relax, Tommy. Just take a step back. What are you talkin’ about?”

“I’ve been studying the Children of Arkham’s moves,” he continued, “tried to figure out what they want--and I have reason to believe that you could be their next target.”

“Wait, what? Children of Arkham?” I asked, confused. “Who the hell are they?”

Tommy sighed. “In short, they’re a terrorist organization. Penguin’s with them. I’ll explain more later, I promise. But right now, you need to leave. This banquet’s just begging for them to attack you. Look how many people there are! They could be hiding in plain sight, and you wouldn’t even know it.”

“I appreciate the concern,” I replied, unconvinced, “but I’ve got bodyguards at every entrance--every corner. Eyes all over the place. If anything happens, they’ll let me know.”

I turned to walk away, but Tommy grabbed me by the arm, holding me in place.

“You’re not listening to me,” he persisted. “I am trying to save your life here. Penguin’s already gone after you once--in your own club, no less. What makes you think he won’t try again?

“Security’s tight, and I’ve got multiple cars waiting just outside in case I need to bail. I’ll be fine, Tommy. Don’t worry.”

He finally decided to drop the subject and let out a breath, crossing his arms. 

“Say, where’s Bruce?” I asked him. “He’s not with you?” That didn’t seem to make Tommy any happier.

“Bruce has been...busy...lately,” he answered. “Always in and out of the manor. Constantly working. On what, I don’t know. But it’s been hard to get even a single word in with him. I thought it’d be best to leave him alone for now. Give him some space.” Tommy suddenly threw a glare. “And besides, I’m not too fond of the idea of bringing my son to a banquet full of assassins.”

I shook my head, holding a casual hand up in defense. “All right, all right. I’ll have my guards sweep the perimeter. See if they can find anything shady. Will that make you feel better?”

“I’d rather have you leave entirely, but I suppose that’ll have to do. For now.”

Pressing the button on my earpiece, I took another sip of my champagne.

“Do a brief check around the manor, would you?” I said. “Make sure no one...unfriendly’s skulking nearby.”

“Right away, sir.” The guard replied.

“There,” I looked at Tommy. “Done and done. If they spot anyone suspicious, we’ll be the first to know.”

Tommy still didn’t look completely satisfied, but said nothing further and instead, only stayed by my side for the rest of the banquet, insisting to keep an eye on me, no matter how unnecessary I thought it was. Though, despite the absence of any obvious threats, a part of me couldn’t help but wonder if Tommy was right. He was known for his strong instincts, and to go as far as to say that my life was at risk...it was unsettling, to say the least. 

Oh, well. It was too late to back out now. If the Children of Arkham, whoever they were, really did end up coming after me tonight, I was going to show them what it meant to screw with the king of Gotham.

From Bruce’s POV

Softly laughing to myself, I turned to the multiple, tied-up security guards who had been shoved in some secluded room, all of them trying to struggle out of their restraints as I turned off the earpiece.

“Naive, isn’t he?” I taunted, referring to Falcone. “Or perhaps just in denial. Looks like Falcone’s not as smart as I thought. Not that I’m complaining though. Every bit of help counts.”

I switched the line over to Oz. 

“Penguin, Falcone’s just asked his ‘guards’ to check around the manor. I think he might know we’re here. Or at least, he suspects it.”

“Then let’s get to work before he decides to flee,” Oz replied. “All right. Let’s get this show on the road. Wait for my signal, then carry on with the rest of the plan, just like we discussed. And remember what Lady Arkham said: our masks never come off. Got it?”

“Got it.” I confirmed.

“I knew you would. Just try to stay safe. Okay, mate? As much as I love seein’ you in action, I love seein’ you not get hurt more.”

“Don’t worry about me,” I reassured. “I can handle myself.”

“Of that, I have no doubt. Well, anyways, let’s get this party started, shall we? I’d hate to keep the audience waiting. Falcone dies tonight.”

From Falcone’s POV

Conversing with the more prominent guests at the banquet, I swiftly made my way around the manor with Tommy in tow, exchanging words with anyone who looked like they could be a potential ally. Tommy still hadn’t let down his guard at all ever since our talk, and in fact, he only seemed to grow more cautious as the minutes passed by, refusing to say more than a “hello” and “goodbye” to the people I spoke to. If paranoia were a person, it’d be standing right next to me right now.

“Enjoy yourself,” I told him. “Tonight isn’t supposed to be a kidney stone. And I know you’re not exactly a social butterfly, but at least have some wine. It’s expensive.”

He bit his lip. “They’re here. I know they are, and I really don’t feel comfortable allowing you to just stick around. This isn’t a goddamn gala, Carmine--it’s an assassination attempt.”

“Okay, now you’re startin’ to sound crazy.”

“Better crazy than dead.”

I sighed. “I’ve said it a million times before, and I’ll say it again. We’ll be all right. Trust me. This place is locked up tight. Now go get some food and have a good time.”

Just then, before our conversation could carry on, the distant sound of someone clinking their spoon against a glass reached our ears, and out of nowhere, a random man suddenly stood aloft one of the tables, making sure everyone could see him.

“Hey!” I called out. “Get down from there!” He ignored me. I guessed someone had a little too much wine.

I opened my mouth to say something else to him, but before I could even utter a single syllable, Tommy had yanked me backwards, his eyes nailed onto the man’s face.

“What?” I snapped at him. He pointed in the man’s direction.

“The mark that’s painted on that his mask,” Tommy thought aloud, “I recognize it.” He turned to me in realization, his eyes widening with fear. “It’s the Children of Arkham. They’re here. We gotta get you out of here. Immediately.”

“Sorry to interrupt this fabulous banquet,” the unknown man announced sarcastically. “Really, it’s so, so wonderful to see this many people still able to laugh and have a good time with their friends, even with Gotham on such high alert these days, but I’m afraid that a few adjustments have been made to tonight’s agenda that you may not all be aware of.”

A bodyguard approached him. “Hey, circus freak, no one cares. Now get down from the table--”

Before any of us could even blink, the masked man had already whipped out a gun and shot the bodyguard straight through the head with a violent bang, splattering his blood all over a marble pillar and causing everyone to shriek in panic and freeze in place.

“Carmine,” Tommy whispered to me in terror, “that man’s voice...I think...oh, god...I think I know it.”

“You do?” I exclaimed back. “Well, who the hell is it?”

“I think it’s--”

“Carmine Falcone!” 

Interrupting Tommy, the masked man began to walk towards me with open arms as everyone watched him, his eyes lit up with excitement as he strolled in my direction.

“There he is. In the flesh. Apologies for the abrupt announcement. I hate to spoil your evening in such a blatant manner--I really do.” He looked around. “After all, it’s such a perfect night to meet with your fellow gangsters, isn’t it? Also a good opportunity for people to relieve a little stress. But there’s something urgent I think you should know.” He placed a gestural hand on his chest. “I’m the new host of this party.”

I scoffed. “Listen, kid, I don’t know who you think you are, but you’ve got two seconds to scram before my men mount your head on the wall.”

The man let out a cackle. “It would add some spice to this place, at least. Though, I’m afraid your men are pretty useless at the moment. I mean, the dead can’t really do much, can they? That’s what makes them so easy to work with. Oh, well. You’ll see for yourself, soon enough.”

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw even more men in masks emerging from the shadows as they joined the crowds with assault rifles in their hands, surrounding the entire manor so that there was no escape. They all had the same uniform as the criminals from the debate, and the one that the man wore appeared to be more ornate. It was obvious that he was a leader of some sort. Though, he had yet to introduce himself.

With the raise of a hand, the other Children of Arkham followed his signal and suddenly fired a storm of bullets into the air, shattering the chandelier’s glass above them as guests dropped to the floor in a cowering fashion, attempting to run away before they could be taken hostage. 

What remained of my pathetic security hastily started to fight back with mere handguns, easily being throttled by the brute strength of the infiltrators as the rest of them surrendered, joining my guests in restraints at gunpoint .

I gaped at the masked man in front of me. He flicked his eyes towards a nearby door.

“I’d start running if I were you.”

Without a second thought, I bolted away from my pursuer, shoving guests out of the way as I ran for my life, still able to hear the man’s nightmarish cackle behind me. Tommy was nowhere to be seen at the moment, and with most of the lights out, it was hard to see where I was going, causing me to stumble over my feet multiple times. Occasionally, I glanced over my shoulder to catch a glimpse of the masked man, only to be greeted with a maniacal laugh as he gained on me, practically in-sync with my shadow. I had no clue who this lunatic was, or what he wanted, but I had to get away...and fast. Goddammit, why didn’t I listen to Tommy? Where the hell even was he?

From Thomas’ POV

Pulling my cowl on once I finished gearing up, I hurriedly contacted Alfred before jumping back into the pandemonium of the banquet as Batman, taking on multiple of the Children of Arkham as guests flailed around in mindless horror, tripping over bodies of the ones who had already been killed.

“Alfred,” I exclaimed between punches, “I need you to get Gordon on the line.”

“Of course, sir. Switching now.”

After a short period of sharp static, the lieutenant’s voice came through, a bit broken at first.

“Batman,” he greeted casually. “What’s the situation?”

“Gordon, There’s a group of terrorists attacking Falcone’s manor as we speak, and as for the man himself, I haven’t seen him ever since the culprits went guns-blazing. They’ve also taken a number of hostages. Some of them are already dead.”

“Christ. I sit down for two minutes, and the city’s already in chaos. The crime never sleeps in Gotham, does it? All right. I’ll gather a squad and head down there immediately. Thanks for the heads-up, Batman. Do whatever it takes to protect the remaining hostages.”

I nodded. “Already on it.”

“And what about Falcone? Any idea how he’s doing?”

From Falcone’s POV

Darting into my office, I slammed the door shut and barricaded it with a tall bookshelf, frantically trying to open my safe as I fumbled with the lock, a heavy thump aggressively pounding against the door.

“Hide all you want, Falcone!” The masked man outside threatened in a sing-song tone. “I’m still here!”

Snatching my machine gun from the safe, I fired an array of bullets through the wall in hopes of killing the unknown culprit on the other side, splintering the wood as broken chips soared through the air.

“You got no goddamn right to be here!” I shouted. “I run Gotham. And if you think you can take the throne from under me pal, you’ve already lost the game.”

After a few minutes of fighting blindly with my opponent, the ruckus outside seemed to calm down for a second until suddenly, with a thunderous boom, one of the walls blasted open and sent me flying backwards into my desk, bruising my back as the masked man sauntered inside, gun in hand.

“Heh, you think that’s gonna work?” I teased, sitting up. “I’m gonna light up this whole goddamn place--”

Ferociously grabbing me by the neck, the smaller man managed to lift me off the floor without any visible strain, glaring at me dead in the eye.

“Get your hands off my suit! Do you know who my lawyers...my lawyers are!? I’m a respectable businessman! You can’t do this to me!”

A light chuckle escaped him. “You’ve certainly got much more fight than my two previous victims,” he commented. “I like that. There’s just something about your fire that drives me, and who am I to resist it?”

Without hesitation, he hurled me into the office’s fireplace, setting my sleeve aflame before continuing to prowl towards me, but I still didn’t quit.

“You got a lot to learn, kid.” I warned, activating another, bigger machine gun installed into the ceiling as it aimed at him, preparing to fire.

Before it could shoot out a single bullet however, the man had taken out some sort of device--similar-looking to Batman’s gear--and tossed it onto the floor as a blue, digital sphere surrounded the room and killed all the electronics, small sparks erupting from them.

“Oh, I think I’ve learned enough,” he countered, retrieving the EMP device. “It’s why I’m here.”

I groaned in pain. “And why are you here!? What do you want?”

He cocked his own pistol. “Your time in Gotham’s run out, Falcone. Every king’s reign has to come to an end at some point, and I’m afraid yours ends tonight.”

As one last, desperate attempt to fight back, I threw a random punch at the man and managed to take him by surprise, staggering him for a moment and knocking his mask off in the process. Though, once I saw the face hiding behind it, I kind of wished it had stayed on.

“The hell!?” I exclaimed in shock, unable to move. “...B...Bruce Wayne? Tommy’s son!?”

Not even bothering to put his mask back on, Bruce simply glared at me with an unfamiliar thirst for blood, acting nothing like his usual self as he kept walking towards me, eyeing me in the same way a predator watched its prey. There was a frightening vibe surrounding him, and it was clear that the drug had started to take complete control of him, rendering him all but defenseless against it, just like the new mayor. What the hell had happened to this boy?

“I’m not...his son,” Bruce growled at me sadistically, almost sounding offended. “And I’m no longer a Wayne.”

He aimed the gun directly at my head, inching his finger towards the trigger as he took a deep breath.

“I’m the new king of Gotham.”

[ciathyzareposts]

Rex Nebular – It’s A Man’s World

Written by TBD

Rex Nebular’s Log: Stardate – 27th of Last Seed.7: I’ve explored the abandoned underground land of men. I have a few more items, but none of them are getting me closer to getting the vase that I’d almost forgotten about or escaping the planet. I’ve found some locked doors so I know I’ll at least need a few more keys. And I’ve just had a crazy idea that I’ll try soon…

When we’d last left our hero, he’d just come out of the gender bender with his original gender back in order to explore the subterranean land of men by way of gender-locked vehicle.

The vehicle gives us nine possible locations. So let’s explore them in the order of… well, in the order I explored them. At each location I’ll finish with a short list of what I think needs to be done there. I have no illusions that all of my suppositions will be correct, but it’s what I was thinking when I left the location.

The driving requires no input from me beyond selecting my destination. On choosing the location, the car drives there for a few seconds while Rex casually taps his fingers on the console.

Driving in Rex Nebular – much less tedious than Mean Streets or Police Quest

818 WIDEPIPE LANE: ABDUL’S SERVICE STATION

Our first trip will be to Abdul’s Service Station, where we find a small barking dog.

Is that a shattered window on the left, or is Wile E Coyote hiding in the darkness behind it?

I of course start by trying to befriend the dog by giving him some bones I found on the surface.

The neon sign behind me is lying – this dog is NOT my friend!

After the dog systematically turns me into a small pile of blue goo like a hungry land piranha, the death screen tells me I shouldn’t have gotten so close to him. In response to that hint, I use THROW instead of GIVE.

This doesn’t solve my dilemma though. The dog devours the bone as easily as it did me and continues waiting to kill me if I get close. He won’t take my twinkifruit or my chicken so I ignore the side door behind the dog and look at the rest of the area.

There is an air hose here. It seems the garage was for old-fashioned cars with tyres rather than modern flying cars (MLV’s). And there’s a sign that points down – I don’t know if that means anything or not at this point. There’s also a manhole I can’t open.

Things to do later:

Find something to distract the dog – more food perhaps?

Come back to inflate something deflated.

CITY PERIPHERY: NORTH SEA WINDOW

The next location I visit contains a viewport with a curious sea monster behind it.

I try to talk to the monster.

I will name him ‘viewport’ and I will love him and pet him and squeeze him!

I look around to see if there’s anything else useful in here.

What the hell is a specimen epithet?

Dictionary result for epithet

/ˈɛpɪθɛt/ noun: epithet; plural noun: epithets an adjective or phrase expressing a quality or attribute regarded as characteristic of the person or thing mentioned.

Well that clears that up perfectly!?!

Sometimes the creature sticks its tongue out frog-like and hits the window with it.

There isn’t anything else here obvious enough to interact with, so after trying a few things I move on.

Things to do later:

Find something to do in this room… anything at all would be useful…

14 DRESSET CROSSING: RESIDENTIAL

In this area, the car stops outside a place called “Bruce’s”. I enter and explore what seems to be Bruce’s interestingly designed house. Apart from the unusual colour scheme and decorations, Bruce has a wall safe.

Well, of course it is.

Looking at things in the two rooms of Bruce’s house, it’s obvious he’s a cross dressing entertainer, and a very popular one at that. I hadn’t thought of it before, but this makes a lot of sense in an all-male society. They may not trust women, but they still want to see people who look like women so cross dressing entertainers would be very popular.

I take the only takeable item I find in the house, a compact case, which seeing as it comes with the verb “REFLECT” I suspect will be used as a mirror at some point.

Things to do later:

Find a way to get into Bruce’s locked wall safe

34 ½ LONELY WAY: THE SLEDGE MALL – SOUTH MAINTENANCE ELEVATOR

I can’t find anything to do here yet. There’s a card slot outside an elevator but the only security card I have is from the women-controlled section and likely won’t work here. I save my game and try anyway, expecting a gruesome death.

I’ve never been more disappointed not to die.

Things to do later:

Come back when I have a male security card

14 POWERTOOL AVE: SANDBAR RESTAURANT – POLLY’S PLEASURE DOME

I think I’ve found Bruce’s workplace.

Noting the precariously suspended boat above the entrance, I enter the Sand Bar first and take a fishing rod from the wall.

I also take a padlock key out of the cash register.

Back outside I get a hint that I’m never going to be able to enter the Pleasure Dome.

Hint taken.

Things to do later:

Come back in about 10 paragraphs when I’ve explored the rest of the city.

226 BICEPS WAY: KANE LABORATORY – MACHO PROSE SOFTWARE – BARNETT MOTEL – SID’S CYCLES

This screen has lots of buildings to interact with. Or so it appears at first. The air bike is disappointingly too rusted to use and I can’t enter the hotel or restaurant.

I’d be more concerned that the restaurant that’s shaped like a toilet has the seat down – IT WAS CLEARLY DESIGNED BY THE ENEMY!

I can enter the software store, so I do.

Obvious references to the game’s own company of Microprose, and Sierra On-Line in here.

I’m not sure if the fourth wall is broken, but it’s at least being bent here.

I take a penlight from the counter, which I can disassemble to get batteries.

The other enterable shop in the area is the laboratory. It contains a large laser and one of the more lazy attempts at referencing current-world items, a ‘spinach patch doll’

I can turn on the laser, which much to Rex’s delight obliterates the doll, but I can’t turn the laser off. I try to throw my explosives at them, but I’m not allowed – I’m sure there’s something I’ll need to use the laser for, and I’ll find out what soon.

Things to do later:

Destroy something with the laser

CITY PERIPHERY: CITY SECURITY – EAST MAINTENANCE ELEVATOR

Well, this is just the area I started at where I first found the car, so let’s move right along

Things to do later:

Use the teleporter whenever I want to go back to the surface (or other teleporter)

MAINTENANCE ACCESS: WILLIAMS BYPASS

This is not the first time the game’s made it clear there used to be wheeled cars in this city – does this become relevant at some point? Guess I’ll find out soon enough.

Based on the hanging boat and the woman’s torso, I’m clearly above the Sand Bar and Pleasure Palace from earlier. The boat that hung above the Sand Bar is held in place by a winch up here.

The winch controls are behind a padlocked panel. I have a padlock key in my inventory. I wonder if those two items could be used together…

Now I’ll have a boat I can use!

Things to do later:

I suspect by dropping the boat I may already have done everything in this area!

4 MONUMENT STREET: EDUARDO’S NEWSTAND – BUCKLUSTER VIDEO

The newsstand just contains old newspapers talking about the women working on biological weapons. I try to enter the video store.

How many of these puzzles solutions are going to be simple ‘come back when I have a key’ solutions.

Things to do later:

Find a key to the video store.

REVISITING LOCATIONS

Now that I’ve visited all areas at least once, I go back to the sand bar to see what I can get out of the boat that I’d dropped.

Well that was anticlimactic.

I couldn’t find anything to do with the boat or anything useful in the boat. But while looking through my inventory I had another thought and went back to the laboratory.

Remembering the compact mirror I took from Bruce’s house, I used it to reflect the laser beam.

I was actually attempting to make the laser shoot itself in the hopes of getting some useful electronics from the wreckage, but this works too.

Getting back in the car and looking at the map, it seems the residential area is the closest to being directly above the lab. So let’s go back there and see if we’re right.

I doubt Bruce is up to date with his laser beam insurance premiums.

Well, it seems like if I could find a second mirror I could direct the beam to Bruce’s safe in order to get what’s inside. But trying to take, push or pull the vanity mirror from the next room doesn’t work so I forget that idea for now.

Before doing more detailed exploring of this city I have the brilliant idea of using my fishing rod to get the piranhas out of the stream in the village above ground. I spend a bit of time and teleport back to the women’s base, bend my gender again and try out my brilliant idea.

Thanks for making me think the last five minutes was a waste of my time, game!

So let’s stop for now. I have a few things I can do next time I play. Apart from the short ‘things to do’ lists I have above, I’ve since thought of something to do in the NORTH SEA WINDOW section. I figure I can flood the place. As for how or why I’d do that, I have an idea…

Flood the place.

How – put/throw my explosives on the sea monster’s viewscreen? Why – I frankly have no reason to want to flood the city other the fact that I dropped a boat that seems to have no purpose without water.

Session time: 1 hour 20 minutes Total time: 5 hours 5 minutes

source http://reposts.ciathyza.com/rex-nebular-its-a-mans-world/