#they both look very professional and capable but i am just blown away by how brilliant and gorgeous Amanita is

[zarathelonewolf]

OK OK OK IT'S HAPPENINGGGGG

Everybody stAY CALM!

BNHA CHAPTER 326 PREVIEW

Let's preface this by saying that I absolutely didn't expect... like... Stain becoming some sort of therapist, or even ensuing his wake up call like this. But I am very pleased with it.

Now... I don't agree with Stain, at all. His ideology may seem interestingly righteous in the beginning, but the more you dive into it, the more evident it becomes that it holds Heroes to a standard that is excessive... It's not just the fact he's killing people; Uraraka's talk has, by now, cemented a fact that Stain's ideology was ignoring: Heroes are human, and while they may have some flaws, not all of them are the epitome of professionality or prudence, and I do agree some of them see their work as too much of a competition... they still do their best on a daily basis to save people. Stain's ideology also doesn't see Heroes as capable of changing modus operandi when faced with the fact that their methods may not be the best; he doesn't give them the chance to overcome their flaws, because he considers their flaws the end of the line.

I did like that Stain helped All Might in this case. Really liked it. I was waiting for an interaction between the two of them foreverrrr.

And now, I can finally see it unfold.

From what I understand from the spoilers,it kind of went like this...

All Might was approaching his statue, which still held the sign "I am not here" around its neck, and reminds himself of what he talked about with Aizawa before the war. Aizawa clearly explained that, while Toshinori couldn't be an active Hero anymore, he was already helping people by being alive and well.

All Might, now, thinks that he's being just a liability... He probably feels like the worse mentor, because he wasn't able to help his hurting disciple.

But, Stain doesn't agree, because he appears and tells him that those words and thought are insulting to the memory of All Might.

Their interaction starts with All Might informing Stain of his failed projects to talk to him before the war, in Tartarus, and shows Stain that his thin form is, in fact, all that is left of All Might and belongs to the same person.

Stain... doesn't like this, either, and thinks Toshinori in his thin form is an impostor.

All Might keeps reasoning that maybe he had always been lying, so that he could create an image to use in order to bring peace in a dark age,for he couldn't stand the injustices around him. Staring at the desolate, destroyed state of things in the war's aftermath, he says that the destruction is all that came out from his efforts.

He says that he put his life on the line, but that he still couldn't adequately support Midoriya nor talk to him at UA.

Stain jumps ahead, in All Might's direction... but doesn't strike him. He pulls him away from the front of the statue, and they both hide as a woman approaches the statue and Stain invites All Might to watch.

This... is one of my favorite moments. Really, it is.

The woman starts cleaning the statue, after taking the sign off of its neck...the same civilian All Might had saved during his last clash with AFO.

Stain then becomes, even if just for a moment, All Might's therapist/motivator: he reasons that the destruction isn't the end at all, that things can change. He also says that the only version of All Might he can accept, the true All Might, was defined by his smile and courage, and that not even the strongest winds have blown away the embers he left, because a group of people was still cultivating them and keeping them ablaze.

As All Might cries, Stain tells him that he really doesn't recognize All Might in who he sees now, but if he still is the admirable hero, than he should end Stain and use the information he had gathered from Tartarus. So he throws the former Symbol of Peace a knife with the info, and tells him that all of this is for the sake of a better society.

All Might cries... and the lady, while watching the sky, concludes that the rain has finally stopped.

...

...

This chapter... I already love it, just from the spoilers. I like how the characters approached each other, the dialogue, the scene with the girl... Stunning, really.

The title seems to be a question: who are you?

Who do you guys think is the receiving end of this question?

I think it's All Might... It's definitely Toshinori.

He's being asked this by Stain, and by his subconscious too.

And while his subconscious keeps torturing itself with thoughts of not being enough, his efforts going to waste, his achievements and the symbol he poses being all a lie, destruction being all that's left... Stain, and another part of his mind tell him that despite everything, his efforts are still there: he's clearly still a hero to the people, like the woman's behavior is showing; there are still people willing to uphold is values and that see him as an inspiration. The destruction WILL end, somehow, because the people are working for peace to finally prevail.

The rain has finally stopped: this phrase is super important. It doesn't really make the situation less dangerous, because who knows what AFO is planning or how the final showdown may go. It does, however, mean that the mood, the resolve of the Heroes, is changing. It's getting better. They're finally seeing the sun. This means that there is finally hope. These last chapters where all building up to this: the end of the rain, of the despair...

After a hurricane comes a rainbow... but for now we have the end of the rain and the reappearance of the sun.

The real hurricane will come with the final battle... After which, a new society could emerge. A new, better society. Like Stain wanted, as misguided as he may have been. Like All Might has always wanted, as disillusioned as he has been as of late.

So, let's look forward to the end. The final battle, we all feel it, is every day nearer... But this time, the sun is on our side.

A stronger, renewed resolve and hope, are on our side.

We'll be taking it all back, people!

Like Midoriya said... We'll take it all back,and AFO will be defeated.

EDIT: Thank you for all the likes and the reblogs, guys! I really hope I can bring other interesting reviews and opinions to the fandom, though as always you are free to disagree with them. See ya in the next BNHA manga chapter!

[buckys-black-dress]

a fine line, part one

a/n: did you really think i could control myself enough to NOT do an enemies to lovers professor!bucky fic? did you really think i have that much willpower? i fucking love this trope and it’s so cute and i definitely will be doing more of these. k bye! leave feedback if ya want, and as per usual, don’t copy/share w/o my consent! if you read this all, luv u tons <33! - ali

wc: 4.2k words

-

Walking into your office bright and early was always the worst part of your day. Not because you hated your job, or because you hated the students you taught, but because of your neighbor.

Being a college English professor was something you dreamed of since you were a young girl, and it was something that you thoroughly enjoyed doing every single day.

Even if it meant being up before 7 AM during the week. 

But something that never failed to irritate the absolute everliving fuck out of you when you walked in was Dr. James Barnes.

Dr. Barnes was an incredibly educated man. He could tell you anything about historical events. Any day, any year, any country. But there was something about him that gave off an air of arrogance and ‘I’m better than you because of all my friends in the staff.’ You only joined the English Department of the Avengers University about a year ago, but in your time there, you’ve already built a strong reputation for yourself. 

Unfortunately, you were a bit shy when it came to conversing with your coworkers. Your most prominent friends who you’ve made are Natasha Romanoff and Wanda Maximoff, the Russian Literature and Studies professors. They were the ones you gravitated to the most, naturally, and have been incredible friends since you started this job. 

While they’ve been friendly, you’ve been having a pretty difficult time breaking out of your shell. You tend not to really put yourself out there in terms of sociality because of how unfamiliar you were with the setting, but you were slowly building your confidence to truly get to know your coworkers.

Steve Rogers, one of your fellow English professors, came into your classroom on this gloomy, early Monday morning with a cup of coffee in both hands.

���Mornin, Dr. Y/L/N.” Steve says while placing your cup on your desk, taking a fine morning?” He asks, breaking into a grin.

Steve was contagious when it came to his happiness and uplifting mood, and you matched his smile with one of your own.

“I’m just peachy, Professor Rogers. How was your weekend?” You ask, opening your laptop and reaching for your lesson binder. 

“It was actually really nice. I got my grading and planning for the week done last week so I got to spend time with the fiancée.” He smiles, leaning back in his chair. 

“Oh, how nice! What’s her name again...? I keep forgetting, forgive me.” You laugh, failing to recall the name of Steve’s beloved.

“No worries, Y/L/N.” Steve laughs at your aloofness, “it’s Peggy. She actually works as a military strategist.” He says with a proud smile, which you took notice of rather quickly. 

“That’s really interesting... I would never even be capable of doing anything with the military.” You giggle, making sure you have everything ready for your lesson today. 

“So... Y/N.” At the mention of your first name, your head shoots up in concern. Was something wrong? “Do you have anyone special at home?” Steve asks.

Your mouth felt dry at the question. You know Steve probably wasn’t trying to pry, but you couldn’t help feel yourself shrink under the question. 

“I- uh, no. Unless my cat counts.” You try to lighten the mood and lessen the speeding of your heart. 

Steve takes notice of your bright blush and embarrassment. To be fair, you were embarrassed. You were well into your twenties, a successful woman with a stable job, but little to social life. Or love life, at that. 

“You have a cat?! Let me see ‘em!” Steve exclaims, trying to deflect from the previous question. 

“Oh! This is her...” You say, flipping a frame facing you on your desk to Steve. In the picture frame was a beautiful, tiny black cat. “Her name is Lucy.” You tell him, smiling fondly at the image. 

“How old is she?” Steve asks.

“She actually just turned a year old. I thought it would be nice to have some company in my apartment when I moved here. I was getting a bit lonely.” You tell him, reminiscing on when you first adopted Lucy.

“She’s a real sweetheart.” Steve’s not able to wipe his grin away while looking at the furry animal. 

“Oh, you don’t even know. She’s a spoiled little thing, you should see her when I leave in the mornings.” You scoff, looking back to your checklist on your computer.

“Y’know, Bucky has a cat, too. I think he would like to know that someone else around here has one, the rest of us all have dogs.” Steve mentions casually, but your brows furrow in confusion.

“I-I’m sorry, I know I haven’t been the most sociable person here since I arrived, but... who’s Bucky? I don’t think I’ve met someone with that name...” You search your brain for any recollection of meeting someone named Bucky, but you were coming up completely short. 

“Oh! Bucky is what James usually goes by... I mean, normally people don’t call him James, just Bucky or Barnes as nicknames, y’know?” Steve clarifies.

“Oh, that makes sense,” you say with a slight laugh, “Dr. Barnes and I haven’t interacted very much since I started here... I get the feeling he’s not too fond of me.” You say with a smile to not make Steve uncomfortable. You knew the two of them were friends, as they were always chatting in the professor’s lounge and cracking jokes. 

“Bucky...? Not fond of you? Did something happen between you two that I wasn’t aware of? You’re not unlikable or anything...” Steve wonders out loud, trying to understand. 

“I-I’m not too sure, Professor Rogers.” You try to stop the conversation here before things got too blown out of proportion. “I hate to cut this short, b-but I’ve got a lecture in ten minutes, so I should get going.” You tell him curtly, gathering your things into your tote and seeing Steve out of your office. 

“I’ll catch ya later, Y/L/N!” Steve says as he walks in the direction of his office down the hall.

“See you, Rogers!” You say back, making your way out of the building to the next. 

Just as you locked your office shut, you see a head poking out of the office next yours.

You keep your head down, not really wanting to engage in any aggressive banter right before your lecture. 

But of course, Dr. Barnes had other ideas. And while you really didn’t have the time, Barnes definitely did. 

“Mornin’, Professor Y/L/N! Already late to your first class of the week?” James calls from his spot as you walk in the opposite direction to the exit of the building. 

“I’m actually perfectly on time, Dr. Barnes. And it’s Doctor! Have a good day!” You turn back briefly for about two seconds to meet his gaze, and walk into the biting morning air, ready for the long day ahead.

Dr. Barnes, damn you for making my days ten times longer than usual.

-

Going home was always your favorite part of the day. Your apartment was your safe place, your place where you could drop the professionalism and not worry about having to interact with other people. 

Most of your nights were spent reading, watching movies, learning new recipes, and whatever you could do to take some time to yourself. Lucy was roaming the kitchen while you were trying to perfect your latest baked good. 

As Lucy intertwines herself between your legs, you look down, making sure you don’t trip over yourself.

“Luce, you have a whole plaything set up over there, why do you insist on putting yourself right ther-” Just as you were scolding your kitten, your phone rings from its’ spot in front of you on the counter.

“Hello?” You say into the speaker.

“Y/N! How are you?” Natasha’s voice came through the speakers, making you pull the phone away from your ear. 

“I-I’m good, Natasha. What’s up?” You ask, wondering why she was calling you since she was very clearly not at home. 

“W-Well,” she lets out a laugh with commotion in the background, “a few of us are down at the bar a couple blocks away from your place, I think.” Another round of ruckus in the back, “would you like to join us?”

“O-Oh... who else is there?” Your voice came through softly, making your nervousness evident through the phone.

“Just a few people in our group... Wanda, Banner, Stark, Rogers, Wilson, Odinson...” Natasha’s voice trails off, like she was still going to mention someone else, but was holding her tongue.

“Oh... Uhm, I was just in the middle of a recipe, but I think I could swing by for a bit...” You look down at your mixing bowl, covering it and placing it in the refrigerator. 

Lucy scurries through to your closet once you open it, searching for something to wear, because your current situation was quite frankly sweats. Choosing a black turtleneck and jeans, you dab on a little bit of makeup and pull on some boots, making your way to your car and warming it up. 

Once you made it to the bar, you were met with a stench that only bars have, one you haven’t smelt in years. College was fun while it lasted, though. 

The first person you spot is Wanda, who’s sitting at the bar waiting for drinks, you presume, so you make your way towards her.

“Y/N! I’m so glad you came! Natasha said you were, but we weren’t sure, you don’t normally do, but it’s perfect! I’m so excited, we never hang out too much, you know? And-” Wanda was rambling, and although you could tell she didn’t want to offend you, it stung. You know you haven’t been out with your coworkers, but it was just one of the effects of your social anxiety. 

“It’s okay, Wanda. I know, but I’m gonna try to come out more... I think it’s time.” You tell her with a small smile. 

“That’s great, Y/N. I’m glad, you deserve to let loose and have fun every once in a while, you know. It’s okay to relax.” She pats your shoulder, and you can feel her warmth in it, both physically and emotionally. It was nice.

“I- Yeah, thanks, Wanda. Do you need a hand with the drinks?” You ask, seeing the two full trays. 

“Yes! If you don’t mind, we’re just back there. We got you a drink too, but we didn’t really know what you liked so we just played it safe.” She explains, pointing to the Old Fashioned on the tray.

“Oh! You didn’t have to...” You trail off, placing the tray down on the table. 

“Hi, Y/N! Didn’t know you’d be joining us tonight, good to see ya!” Steve says while scooting further down the booth seat to make room for you, everyone else welcoming you. 

“Thanks for inviting me, guys. I guess I really did need to get out of the house.” You say while sipping on your drink. 

As the chatter around the table starts again, you quickly end up finishing your drink, caught up in the atmosphere around you and how you were having such a good time. 

Maybe this isn’t so bad. I should do this more often.

And as this thought came to your head, Natasha sees that you’ve finished your drink, motioning to the empty glass.

“Need another, Y/N?” She points to the bar, “I’ll come with, I need one too.” 

You nod, scooting out of the booth.

“I’ll just have a glass of red,” you tell the bartender, Natasha giving you an odd look, “I still have to drive home later..” You laugh when she hums in realization. 

While waiting, a tall guy with dark hair is already chatting up Natasha. And just when you didn’t think your night could get any weirder, you feel someone come up next to you.

“What’s a gorgeous girl like you doing here all by yourse-” But the voice was cut short as soon as you turned your head towards whoever it was. As soon as your mind recognized the face, your eyes widened, met with equally wide, ocean blue eyes.

“Y/N?! What the hell are you doing here?” Bucky’s voice was filled with confusion and mild disgust, ouch. 

“I-I was invited... By Natasha...” Your voice was meeker than you wanted it to sound, because who the hell was Bucky to question why you were here? 

“Oh. I didn’t know it was you, for the record.” Bucky states, watching in satisfaction as you look down at your wineglass that the bartender placed in front of you. She gave you a sympathetic look, turning back to another customer.

“I-Yeah, I figured, Barnes. Sorry to disappoint you, I suppose.” You grab the glass and walk back to the table, trying to not look as though someone just called you ugly to your face. 

“Y’know, I don’t quite understand why you can’t just let her be.” Bucky turns his gaze to Natasha.

“I just... don’t like her. It’s as simple as that, Nat. She walks around acting all high and mighty, like she isn’t equal to us.” He reasons, trying to make his point. 

“Bucky... Maybe if you took five seconds to get rid of that ego of yours, you’d know the kind of person she is. And she is most definitely not as pretentious as you’ve made her out to be. She’s a human being, just like the rest of us here.” Natasha finishes defending you, turning back to the table, leaving Bucky even more confused than before. 

-

As the night went on, you very evidently avoided anything that had to do with Bucky. If he came by the table, you would waver your gaze elsewhere, and if he initiated the conversation, you would keep quiet. Although you knew it was probably the easiest way to avoid conflict with him, you could tell you were folding in on yourself. 

And Wanda and Natasha most definitely noticed. 

Every time Bucky spoke, it was like you would disconnect. Focus your mind elsewhere, filling your head with thoughts completely unrelated to your current atmosphere. 

“Y/N, what do you have planned for the holiday break?” Sam’s voice pipes up, trying to include you in the conversation. 

“Oh, uhm... Not much, I usually stay at home and make myself a nice meal. Take some time to myself, y’know.” You smile at the thought of the holiday season. You were completely ready to take the time off to catch up on self care. 

“Oh, no family to go see?” Steve’s voice asks from across the booth.

“Uh... no, not really.” You try let out a light laugh at the answer, trying to not show the stiffness of your body at the topic at hand. 

“I-I’m sorry, Y/N, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable...” Steve says, trying to rectify the situation.

“No! You’re completely okay, Steve.” You reassure him, not wanting to make things even more uncomfortable. 

“Well, now that we’re on the topic,” Bucky’s voice breaks the silence, “Y/N, how come we know, like... nothing about you? You’ve been at the university for a bit now and this is the first time we’re seeing you outside of work.” Bucky’s expression was smug as could be, and you were really fighting the urge to cry right now. 

“Bucky, leave her alone.” Wanda’s voice was coming as a warning, daring Bucky to go even further.

“No, I’m not trying to sound rude or anything,” Bucky keeps pushing, “but you just seem to act like we don’t deserve your time, like you’re better than all of us or something.” 

“Buck, that’s enough.” Steve’s voice was like ice. “Just leave her alone, for God’s sake.” 

The table falls silent, your eyes fixed on your hands in your lap.

“I-I’m sorry, guys...” Your voice was holding on by a thread. “I think I should go, thank you so much for inviting me out with you guys. Have a good night.” And with that, you slip out of the booth, disappearing out the front door at an exceptional speed. 

The rest of the table was watching Bucky with several emotions, including mild disgust, anger, and hopelessness. 

When will this stop?

- 

That night when you return to Lucy, you were drained. Tired. Exhausted. Ever since you were a child, it seemed that you couldn’t outgrow your shyness and quietness. The only place that made you feel like you belonged was your lecture hall. And although you tried, several times, to overcome this horrid quality of yours, it seemed that you could never escape it. 

It just always came back.

And you know how it made you seem to others. Pretentious, snobby, it gave you an air of a superiority complex.

When in reality, it was exactly the opposite. You were so afraid to speak sometimes that you just choose not to. You didn’t want to be judged or ridiculed for saying the wrong things, so you thought it was better to keep quiet.

Becoming a professor definitely helped you break out of that shell a little bit, but it never really translated outside of the classroom.

Flopping down on your grey comforter, you realize that you couldn’t continue to feel like this. It was years and years of meekness, of keeping to yourself. That was the reason why you were almost 30 with no boyfriend, no fiancé, and certainly no husband or child. 

You knew you had to make a change, but you didn’t quite know how to. But that’s something you’ll have to worry about later, because you were close to passing out right now.

-

The following week had been... different. You were spending less of your lunch hours in your office, alone, and finally accepting Natasha and Wanda’s consistent invites to eat with them. It took them by surprise at first, but they welcomed you with open arms.

It was now Thursday, and you were in Wanda’s office, digging into your pasta salad that you’d packed.

“So, Y/N, just out of curiosity...” Natasha speaks through her lunch, “What suddenly made you want to join us? I mean, after last week, I wouldn’t be surprised if you never wanted to see us again.” She laughs a breath out, clearly feeling guilty for last weeks’ events. 

“Well,” you supply after a moment to think, “I realized something. After James... spoke his mind, I guess you could say, I realized that he was right, in a way.”

“Wha-” Wanda interjected but you continued to explain.

“I realized that I had removed myself so far from the people that I see every single day so much that they don’t even know me. And it’s been like this most of my life... I usually just keep to myself, but I think that even though I’m terrified of speaking to people I don’t know, it’ll never get better unless I actually try.” You release, feeling a metaphorical weight lift off your chest. 

“Well, Y/N, I’m glad you finally chose to let us in... But Bucky was still an asshole, and totally out of line. We know we can’t speak for him, but we’re all really sorry for what he said... He doesn’t even know you, and he shouldn’t have made those assumptions about you.” Wanda says after a moment of silence. 

“Thank you, guys.” You smile, gathering your things and standing up. “I have a lecture to prepare for, but... thank you for everything, both of you. It’s been a long time since I’ve had good people in my life that I can call my friends.” You’re shocked at the fact that you feel two sets of arms wrap around you at your confession, holding you tight.

“Y/N, you don’t ever have to thank us for being your friends... you deserve good things, never forget that.” Natasha tells you, and for the first time, you actually believe it. 

“Okay, I actually have to go now, but I’ll see you two later?” You ask, already halfway out the door.

“Yeah, we’ll text you!” Wanda yells back, and you’re making your way back to your office to gather your belongings for the lecture.

But of course, you could never get ready for a class without Barnes popping out and giving you a little pep talk.

“Afternoon, Y/L/N. Getting ready to bore another groups of kids to death?” He asks, a smug look on his face with a mug held in his hand. 

“Actually, Dr. Barnes, I happen to have excellent students who truly enjoy being in my class, being that I don’t teach any 101s, that’s more Steve’s part. But thanks for the concern.” You tell him, shutting the door behind you and letting out a deep breath you didn’t know you were holding in.

You’ve never spoken to anyone like that in your life before. 

And James was equally shocked at your attitude, standing in his doorway, dumbfounded with his mouth hanging open. He was staring at your shut door, wondering where the quick with came from.

He begrudgingly turns back into his own office, truly trying to process what just occurrfaxed.

While you slung your bag over your shoulder, there was an infectious smile gracing your face, proud of not being his doormat for the first time.

That day, class was even better than usual, and you even let your students out early, telling them to enjoy the rest of their day. 

And that night, you went home feeling the best you’ve felt in a long time.

-

You went into the university the next week feeling refreshed from you girl’s weekend that you hosted at your apartment, inviting Natasha and Wanda, and even another professor named Carol who you’ve recently befriended as well- to unwind and have fun with. 

And as you swing the usually locked door of your office open with ease, your eyebrows furrowed. 

I remember locking it when I left on Friday...

But the only thing that seems to out of place is the iced americano and chocolate croissant sitting on your desk.

On the bag of the croissant, there was writing that read, ‘Thought I’d make it up to you.’

Who the hell would go out of their way to bring me breakfast? You thought to yourself. And they know my usual...

You honestly assumed it could’ve been one of the girls, but you don’t know what they could’ve been making it up to you for. Maybe girl’s night? But still, everyone did a good job of bringing things with them to compensate for you hosting. 

But nothing explains the door being unlocked. But you weren’t really afraid. You didn’t keep anything too valuable in there anyways, taking most papers home with you, and keeping classified files sealed in the file cabinet. 

It didn’t really scare you, but you truly wondered who would go out of their way to do something like this for you.

The rest of your day went by pretty quickly, and it was oddly quiet. Specifically from the office next door.

It’s now 5 PM, and not a peep from James.

It unsettled you, to say the least. First the breakfast and unlocked office, and now not a word from him. 

It was weird.

You spotted him talking to Steve earlier in the day, but you haven’t seen too much of him either.

Although, there was a staff meeting tonight, so you’d definitely see him then.

As you made your way to the designated conference room with Natasha, you see Dean Fury waiting for everyone to arrive. He greets you with his usual disgruntled look, which you’ve learned to not take personally over the time you’ve spent here at Avengers University.

Slowly, everyone made it in, taking a seat. 

“Good evening, staff. I hope you’ve all had a productive day thus far, but there’s a reason I’ve called you here tonight. I have a proposal for all of you.” Fury explains, making you all curious. 

“I’ve decided, after a few months of toying with the idea, I’d like to do partner teaching. Each and every one of you will be assigned a counterpart, and you will both help each other in making the others’ teaching environment better. Here at AU, we’re committed to always pushing the envelope, and that means that sometimes, you’ll have to get uncomfortable. And if you’re wondering, there’s no way out of this. You all have to do it. Each one of you has received an email to your .edu inbox with your partner assignment and further instructions on how this will be done.” A pause overtook the room as everyone pulled out their phones to check their emails. “Happy teaching, we start next week, folks.” Fury finishes, exiting the room. 

Meanwhile, you couldn’t believe your eyes when they saw the opened email. 

Dr. Y/L/N, you’ve been selected to teach alongside Dr. Barnes.

Oh fuck no.

And the look he was sharing with you from across the table confirmed he was thinking the exact same thing. 

-

a/n pt.2: ooooooh cliffhangerrr!!! holy shit y’all this bitch long asf. don’t worry, part 2 will be coming soon! comment and lmk what you thought down below! this might have a part 3, i haven’t decided yet !! lol, anyways, i have class in an hour, so bye! if you made it this far, i seriously love and. appreciate you!

[wallwriterstuff]

is it okay if you do one about the reader who is 13-14 going with Bella to save Edward and when Alec see's her, he realizes that she's his mate and tries talking to her and her being scared but after sometime they have a sweet bf/gf relationship? Thank you, and your writing is awesome, sorry if I bothered you

Hey hi hello, you most certainly have not bothered me at all 😊 You’re very sweet and I’m glad you enjoy my writing, I hope you like this piece just as much as the others!

Just as a wee reminder to yourself and others who wish to request anything Alec related from me, when I write for Alec, I do tend to write him as the 13-14 year old book version. The only time I age up Alec and Jane to the 16+ year old movie version is if I receive an NSFW request for them. I am still figuring out what I’m comfortable writing in terms of the level of explicitness, so while I figure out what sort of NSFW requests I will and won’t take please be patient and don’t be rude about it if you send me something I don’t think I can deliver, there’s plenty of other really incredibly writers out there I’ll happily link you to if I don’t think I can provide what you want. 

For now, have this fluffy little piece. 

Forever Yours:

Words: 5416 (oopsie)  Warnings: There is some description of injuries later on and a lot of descriptions of fear and distress in the first half of this fic. 

Alec was not one to dwell on things he didn’t find interesting. In his human life he had been pigeon-holed into farming, the manual labour something that would support his family and one of the few occupations he could actually get training for, since it meant sending him into a field and leaving him there to work alone most of the time. His village was not a welcoming place to people like him and Jane, and despite his vocation to be a blacksmith his dreams were shelved in order to provide for his mother and sister. The end result was an insatiably curious young teen desperate to break free of the tedious field work and explore what else the world had to offer him, a trait that had only been solidified by his transformation.

Currently he found himself fascinated by the readings surrounding physical Geography, the formation of the world brought to the forefront of his mind after passing through a village that had suffered an Earthquake on a mission not a month earlier, and studying such things was how he spent the majority of his evenings now. Then in the Cullen boy came, bedraggled and smelling like three week old garbage he was pleading for the end of an existence far greater than his human one could have ever been, and Alec’s mind was set whirring into motion once more.

He couldn’t begin to fathom the mind-readers motives for wanting to end his immortal life, not when it had offered Alec so much. Over the course of centuries, he had accrued wealth and knowledge, prestige, and authority that the boys in his village could only ever dream of given the circumstances they were born into. Immortality offered an eternity to pursue what interested you without the disruption of sickness, or fear of being left out of doing what you love due to injury; Alec never have to worry about being unable to train because he’d sprained his ankle after all.

No, no it was simply incomprehensible as to why the Cullen boy would throw away his immortal existence so readily, and when the reason why was finally revealed to them it only left Alec all the more baffled. A human? He wished to end his life because a human had done the same? Humans died everyday in droves, most of them tripping over their own feet and into their graves. They were weak, fragile, dim-witted enough that most actually deserved the cattle-like status his predatory nature accredited them. For Edward to willingly choose one as his mate had been foolish from the start and Alec had to wonder if this wasn’t some sort of cosmic ‘I told you so’. Surely a human couldn’t be the true mate of a vampire? Alec had never pondered over the mating bond before but as Demetri and Felix silently followed after the boy to see to it he did nothing foolish, he began to wonder about the nature of such bonds.

Aro and Caius had both turned their mates, as had Chelsea. They had all felt some form of affection for their mates as humans but had the bond solidified before or after their transformation? Were the red strings of fate he’d read about in varying fantasy novels real to some extent? Venom hardening them to form the strong bonds that allowed vampires to mate for life? He couldn’t imagine ever loving anyone to the point that Marcus had, where they became the only thing his world revolved around and left it collapsing once they were gone. Humans surely weren’t capable of loving anyone with that kind of depth, were they? Not with their flawed design.

“Dear Jane, please go and see what’s taking them so long?” Aro requested. Jane gave him a sugar sweet smile in response, kissed Alec’s cheek and floated gracefully down the steps and towards the door. Alec watched her go before returning to his thoughts, the conundrum still fresh in his mind, but Aro did not let him remain there, a drawn out sigh escaping him as he steepled his fingers to rest his chin on his hands.

“Something bothers you, Master?” he asked, tilting his head. Maybe he was having similar thoughts and they could brainstorm together. Aro stared at the doors ahead of them, his expression completely impassive. Alec was treated with the deference his gift and status demanded but out of them two of them, he knew Jane would always be the favourite, and he was okay with that. He would serve loyally as long as he lived, grateful for all the Masters’ had given him, but he did not need to be valued in the way Jane did.

“I hope Edward does nothing foolish. He would be a great asset to our little household.” Aro responded. Alec kept his face impassive, mind immediately turning now to the tactical advantage telepathy could offer. Edward’s gift was indeed powerful in its own way, to hear over great distances would compliment Demetri’s tracking ability well and override Felix’s tendency to impulsively use his brute strength without identifying priority targets first…

“Undoubtedly.” Alec agreed. Aro chuckled slightly.

“Your mind is preoccupied Alec, perhaps you ought focus it?” he suggested lightly. Alec forced back an eye roll, inclining his head to indicate he had heard him before stepping down from his place beside his throne. He retraced his sister’s footsteps, following the main hall along until he reached the secretary’s desk. Gianna glanced up, standing to greet him with the professionally polite smile she was obliged to give him, even though her heart was thundering in her chest.

“Have the others returned yet?” he questioned. Gianna shook her head.

“No Alec, they have yet to come back this way.” She answered. Alec hummed thoughtfully, engaging his senses and straining his ears to listen to the stumbling footsteps approaching. There were the usual graceful taps of his sister’s dainty steps, the tell-tale smoothness of vampires moving along stone, but the clumsy thudding that followed was definitely human in origin. What cause did they have to bring humans back into their home? That was Heidi’s job after all, and she would be returning home soon enough to slake their thirst.

“But Bella I don’t-“

“Just…not now.”

Bella? Isabella? The human mate? Now that perked his interest. Alec watched with keen eyes as the doors slid open to reveal his siter first, and a brigade of people behind her. Felix and Demetri brought up the rear as Gianna greeted Jane with the same professional courtesy she had him, the golden-eyed Cullen’s following along behind her. The two humans they had brought with them were corralled between them. One clung to Edward like a barnacle to the underside of a ship, spindly arms thrown around him despite her chattering teeth and goosebump riddled flesh. She was quite ordinary in appearance, plain even, yet the way Edward stood made it abundantly clear that this human was something extraordinary to him, something he would protect. The other was...oh how to describe her?

She captivated him almost immediately, Alec unable to take his eyes off of her approach. Was she always that pale or had the situation leeched the colour from her face? Was she always so wide-eyed or was it fear that had blown those (Y/E/C) irises wide open? She was smaller in stature than the other, yet similar enough looks wise it was clear they were siblings, one older one younger. She was perhaps his physical age with all the wide-eyed innocence that entailed, gangly limbs she hadn’t really grown into yet carrying her along with a bit of encouragement from Felix’s proximity, and the Cullen woman’s guiding hand.

“Sister, they send you out for one and you bring back three, such a clever girl.” He teased, Jane’s scent invading his nose and helping refocus his mind. Her eyes rolled, but she still embraced him as she always did with a trill of laughter to boot.

“They made it all to easy.” She responded. Alec could see the malice in his sister’s eyes and guessed that she was not appreciative of having to wait for the humans. It irked him more than it should, that the young girl had potentially unintentionally incurred his sister’s wrath, the mere notion that perhaps Jane’s thoughts of her were less than savoury something that made every protective instinct he had ever had for his sister flare and extend to this stranger.

“Edward, you seem in a markedly better mood.” He said, hoping to distract himself from the sudden, unnerving discovery.

“Marginally.” the mind-reader agreed, though his voice was blunt and cutting. Clearly Edward was not in the mood to talk.

“But Alice I still don’t know-“

“Shhh Y/N, not now.” Alice Cullen, the seer that Aro had raved about from the moment he had learned of her existence. Alec should have been interested in her, should have been evaluating her as a threat and a potential ally, but his mind had been thoroughly distracted by the small human once more. Y/N…it was a good name, a name that felt pleasant in his ears and rolled easily off of the tongue.

“But Alice-“ the urgency in her voice tore at his heart and Alec had the strange urge to comfort her. Did she truly know nothing? If she knew nothing of their kind she had broken no law and there was no reason to put her through any of this, it was unnecessary suffering.

“Is this the cause of all the trouble?” he asked, unable to keep the scepticism from his voice as he took in her unremarkable sibling. Isabella seemed to shiver under his stare (much to his amusement) though it was the younger girl whose reaction he was more interested in. Her head turned his way, (Y/C/H) hair swishing with the movement as wide (Y/C/E) eyes latched onto his own and refused to let go. The scent that was wafted up his nose was almost unbearably tantalising, the controlled burn in his throat flaring to a raging inferno that he almost choked on for a moment before he caught himself. Edward’s stare was penetrating, Alice Cullen tightening her grip on the young girl in her care in case he made a move. He swallowed back the fire but there was no hiding the way his eyes had melted to black, and the sweet tinge of fear in her already too appealing smell only made him want to give into his urges all the more.

He hadn’t realised he’d taken a step towards her until she flinched back from him, and for the first time in a long time Alec felt genuine pain. The fear on her face was obvious, the rampant thudding in her chest tangible proof that she was terrified, and he didn’t like it. He didn’t like it and he didn’t like that he didn’t like it because she was just human, flawed and breakable and pathetic so why oh why did it pain him so to see the tears gathering in the corners of her eyes?

“Y-your eyes…they just – your eyes just…Bella what did you get me into?” her voice wavered and something inside him just snapped. For once, Alec didn’t feel the apathy that came with taking a life seen as less valuable than his own, he didn’t take any sort of joy in watching her be afraid of his advance. He couldn’t deny it, not when the feeling was so deeply rooted and burned so fiercely, like a flower that been laid dormant beneath the Earth suddenly bursting from the soil to bloom brightly. He was protective of this human he barely knew, and it was terrifying to feel so connected to someone he had never met before.

“I mean you no harm, I give you my word.” The promise had escaped him before he had really thought it through and he was well aware he could not keep such a promise, but she didn’t care to hear it anyway, cringing even more into Alice since Bella seemed to refuse her in that moment. It only made him angrier. He was angry with himself for suddenly losing the emotional control he had gained over a long millennium of living, angry that he was making promises he couldn’t keep, and he was angry at the stares he was receiving from those he would call friend. Jane looked the most outwardly shocked before she quickly covered, but the one person he would have hoped would react positively just didn’t. Y/N was too afraid to see sense, and he supposed given the pie-crust promise he’d just made that might be a good thing, even if it hurt. He was angry to that her sister ignored her obvious need for comfort.

He let his sister take the lead as they headed back to the throne room, trying to fight through the sudden swell of confusing emotion and sensory information. His nose seemed attuned to her scent, suspiciously close to his favourite smells of lemongrass and gooseberry, his eyes magnetised to her form to the point he turned his head to glance back at her so frequently that Demetri felt the need to motion for him to keep his head turned forward. Humans radiated heat anyway but she felt scorching, a mini-sun whose tendrils reached out and left warmth lashing down his spine. His ears were full of her heartbeat. She was so thoroughly distracting he could barely take his eyes off of her after he had taken his place by Caius, the blonde man staring with such distaste at the both of them that Alec felt a strong urge to step between them and absorb the glare himself.

He could only half pay attention as the conversation unfolded around him, because Y/N wouldn’t stop looking at him like he was the devil incarnate and it bothered him immensely. He had dealt with it his whole life, a social pariah for his links to witchcraft and someone whose gift left him with few friends since they feared the authority it gave him. He had handled it then, and he handled it now, he could deal with other people looking at him like that but not her, anyone but her.

“Alec!” Jane hissed his name and Alec snapped to attention, mist unfolding from his palms so he was ready to take down any threat that came at him. Demetri snickered loudly enough it reached his ears and Alec’s glare was so deadly it drew a soft whimper from her. He almost groaned. Could he do no right by her? Y/N had started trembling a while ago but now there were full body shakes wracking her from head to foot, her teeth grinding together so loudly he worried the teeth might snap under the strain she was putting on them. Aro’s laughter clattered through his head and he turned to face him, at a loss as to what to do for once. He didn’t honestly think that he could hurt the girl if asked.

“My dear boy it would seem you are quite distracted by young Miss Swan. Oh to be young and in love once more!” he tittered. Alec froze, every muscle locking in place as the distinct feeling of distress rose through the confusion and anger and pain he’d been desperately trying to wade through. Love? He definitely did not love the girl, it was mere curiosity and nothing else, the same curiosity he applied to his studies.

“Love?” Jane’s voice was equally as harsh and Aro seemed surprised by her reaction. Alec was not. For centuries they had had only each other, the centre of a small world where they seldomly let others join them. The very notion another might be welcomed into his heart would be not just repulsive, but very troubling for her.

“Why, don’t tell me you cannot see it? Already the bond between them has set, the thread connecting them tied at both ends. Are you not happy for your twin to have found such a rare and beautiful thing?” Aro wondered. As if Aro had perhaps waved a magic wand his mind settled. His brain had tried to fight what his body already knew, his subconcious screaming the word while his rational mind raced a million miles ahead to try and outrun the answer until it could run no more, and the two collided. The aftermath of the explosion was calm, almost wonderous, for he would finally get the chance to study something he had never studied before.

“You’re my mate.” He breathed. Even he could hear the awe in his voice, though nobody but him seemed to find it wonderful. Jane hissed, both Cullen’s tensing up while Bella recoiled from her sister like she was diseased, and Y/N…Y/N just cried. Alec’s world ground to a halt, the pain his mate spilling out and into him. He descended the stairs with every intention of stopping her tears, hoping to calm her perhaps and explain exactly what it meant to be mates, but Y/N didn’t let Bella refuse her this time and sought refuge in her sister, sobbing all the while.

“Wh-what did you do! Why d-did you bring me h-here? I d-don’t want to st-stay with him!”

The words were a hard blow, they struck him in the gut and it was the closest he’d felt to nauseous in centuries.

“I have no desire to keep you here, but if you would please-“

“Leave me alone! I w-want to go home!” she cried, not so much as turning to look at him. If he hadn’t been a vampire he would probably have missed all of the muffled words she heaved into her sisters shoulder.

“You can still go home yet-“ he had paid enough attention to know Bella was not being executed at least and as his mate Y/N was exempt of that fate to, “-all I would like is a chance to talk.” Alec’s plea fell on deaf ears, his hand shrugged off of her shoulder.

“No!”

Alec straightened, wiping his face of any and all expression, he didn’t so much as give any of them a farewell before he left the room. The sudden rejection stung worse than the fire that had once burned his flesh from his bones, and the hollow that opened in his gut grew wider and wider with every moment that passed since the second he’d left her. He put down his books, spending his nights envisioning her tear-stained face and wondering what would have made her smile instead. He craved to know every like and dislike, to hear her voice when she wasn’t consumed with horror and fear, to learn more about her life and contrast it with his own. They had all tried to talk him round in the intervening months, but Alec couldn’t find the strength to drag himself out of the numbness that had enveloped him. Not until Marcus came by to see him anyway.

“What do you require of me, Master?” he asked, staring aimlessly out of the window at the Garden’s below. Marcus seated himself at the desk across the room, the one littered with books Alec hadn’t had the heart to open since the fateful day his mate had left him.

“Didyme was not immediately drawn to me either.” He rasped. Alec’s head whipped around at that, the shock on his face obvious. Marcus had been nothing but a shell in all the time he had known him, grieving a lost love so profound Alec was sure that their story must have been the greatest romance ever known. To hear Didyme had not readily accepted him was both astounding and…it gave him hope.

“She didn’t?” he hedged. Marcus glanced to him, a wisp of smile floating from his lips before his expression fell flat again.

“She was a headstrong woman, and for a while she resented Aro for what he did to her, to me. She could not revel in her new state as we did, this world was so different from the one she had known…it took time for her to adjust before she truly opened her heart to me.” His words were like a soothing balm on the raw wound her rejection had left behind.

“I might find it more encouraging if I was sure I might yet see her again.” Alec frowned slightly as Marcus pushed to his feet.

“There will be opportunity enough to visit her yet, you might yet be surprised.” He answered, floating from the room like dust on the wind. Alec stared at the door, his mind mulling over the cryptic message before the briefest hint of a smile twitched his lips upward. Hope was a beautiful thing, and it only grew in his chest as Aro deployed them to Seattle not a day later to deal with a mess created by a gaggle of newborns. When stressed, vampires did not fidget but rather became motionless and immobile, but while he sat rigid as stone in his seat for the flight over his mind became restless. Where would he find her in this city? If Marcus’s cryptic message had been for him then surely he knew he would find Y/N here? Demetri’s hand on his arm made him pause before he stepped off of the jet.

“She’s in the city Alec, if you need a guide.” His voice was low enough nobody but him would hear him. Alec fully planned to take him up on the offer once their work for the night was done, it wasn’t often the tracker was rendered unnecessary, but Alec didn’t need Demetri’s gift to know when he had found her.

Her sobbing was ingrained in his memory after all.

The rage that built in him was blinding, his body unable to move fast enough to put himself between Y/N and the newborns dragging her mangled body from the wreckage of a car they had flipped. All around him was the screaming and snarling of newborns, the metallic screech of hardened skin coming apart as they put an end to the atrocity. His mist had exploded outward, rippling in every direction and he had only just enough sense of mind to ensure it didn’t harm his coven mates as he tore apart the newborns who had dared lay a hand on his mate. Chest heaving and throat blazing, Alec felt the blood on the ground soak his trousers as he collapsed beside her. She was screaming, body contorting in awful ways as her face turned red, veins popping in her neck as it strained. Alec placed a cool hand shakily on her forehead, beyond furious with the grotesque bitemark marring her shoulder.

“What were you thinking brother! Now that we have destroyed this group we – we…oh…oh Alec…” the rage that simmered in Jane’s voice very quickly dissipated when she saw the state he was in. His head was swimming, the appealing scent of blood hanging heavy in the air while his gut twisted and fury and terror raged war in his heart. She was turning, there was no doubt about it, the venom was leaking out of the wound with her blood. She was turning and it wasn’t his venom.

“I – I can take away the pain.” He stammered. He had wanted someone to do that for him when he burned. It was the greatest act of mercy he could think of, perhaps the greatest way for him to show his love for a girl he barely knew but wanted to oh so badly.

“You will starve yourself before she completes the transformation. There is hardly enough venom in that bite Alec.” Felix pointed out. Y/N let out another tortured shriek, body twisting. He heard the broken bones in her legs crunching at the movement and said a silent prayer to thank whatever deity was watching over her that the venom was excruciating enough she wouldn’t have to feel broken bones on top of it.

“So what do I do? Leave her like this? She’s in agony!” he snapped, “She’s in agony and I can end it!”

“It is a natural thing brother.” Jane said quietly.

“But it does not have to be endured forever.” Demetri weighed in finally, “Give her some more Alec, shorten the process and if you find yourself unable to stop…well, we will stop you.” Alec could only give her an anguished stare, loathe to cause her anymore pain but knowing Demetri was right. The longer the change dragged on for the less likely it was she would survive, but if he bit her again, gave her more of his venom to override what little was already diffusing through her blood, it would shorten the process considerably. He could already feel the acidic liquid pooling in his mouth and he hoped she could see just how apologetic he was, though he didn’t think it likely given how her eyes had rolled back into her head as she convulsed with a shout.

“Stop me Jane, forget our oath this one time and do whatever it takes to stop me.” He demanded. Jane looked horrified by the very thought but Alec didn’t wait for her to consent to his plea, cradling Y/N close and closing his eyes as he bared his teeth, ready to bite into the buttersoft sinews of her throat…

“What are you thinking about so hard?” her voice was melodic in his ears, a symphony he never grew tired of. Startled from his reverie, Alec had to pause a moment to gather his thoughts and remind himself where he was. Volterra was bathed in sunshine once more and his skin refracted it beautifully against the walls of the garden, the book in his lap long since discarded as his mind began to wonder. It had been a while, since he’d recalled that fateful night.

“You’re back,” he noted with a small smile, “I was thinking about you of course, as I always do when you’re not around.” Her smile could have lit up New York city, and Alec adored it. Y/N hadn’t been happy upon waking up in Volterra, Alec by her side as he quietly explained she had been made immortal in desperate circumstances. It had taken her many months to get over the traumatic incident but since she had started to bounce back to her old self, Alec had discovered a rather beautiful, happy person he really rather liked. Since she had been forced to spend so much time with him, letting him coach her in the new way of life she had to adopt, she had taken quite a liking to him to it seemed.

“You should be proud of me, I got to the nomad before Demetri so we all got to come home sooner. You should have seen his face!” She giggled. Alec couldn’t help but smirk, smug and proud as he pulled her down to rest between his legs, back pressed flush to his chest. Her scent dragged him under, a tranquil wave settling those restless parts of him that recognised how incomplete he felt without her around. He buried his nose in her hair to take a deep lungful of the addictive smell.

“I’m always proud of you.” He promised softly.

“Have you just been reading all the time we’ve been gone?” she wondered. Alec hummed, picking up the book he had discarded and reopening to the page he was on.

“It was the one you recommended to me. I’ve just gotten to the chapter where Sephy realises Callum is one of her kidnappers.” He revealed, and without hesitation he dropped his cheek atop her hair and began to read aloud. She melted into him, her hands mindlessly reaching for the ground every now and then while Alec focused his energy on his book, the peaceful atmosphere remaining unbroken for a chapter more before she shifted. He relinquished her immediately, knowing his mate was never one to stay still for too long, only to be surprised when she turned on her knees with a ring of daisies in her hand. Alec raised an eyebrow and she grinned.

“I hereby declare you King Alec of Castle Volterra!” she announced. The daisy crown was placed daintly atop his head, only to fall and get stuck on the bridge of his nose. Too big to be a crown but too small to be a necklace. Her face fell into a pout as Alec began to laugh, very gently rearranging the daisies so they rested at an angle and were slightly weighted down by some of his brunette hair.

“I, King Alec, declare I cannot rule without you, Queen Y/N,” he proclaimed, offering her his hand. She giggled as he pushed to his feet, pulling her with him. She was forever going to be shorter than him, just a little, and he loved that. “Now, as our first royal duty, that dye you ordered came. I decree it’s time to give our guard matching uniforms!” He was bolstered by her obvious enthusiasm, crimson eyes sparkling.

“It came? The neon green one?” she asked eagerly. Alec nodded, unable to keep his laughter at bay as she bounced up and kissed him so quickly she almost broke his teeth with the speed she moved at. He didn’t get to voice his protest because she was already dragging him by the hand back towards the castle. Before he had met her, schemes like this would have made his nose turn up in distaste. How childish these endeavours were, how wasteful of their time. Y/N had changed his perspective on a great many things, and it was rather nice now and then to give into the childish ways his physical age demanded he give in to every now and then, he had gotten so good at repressing those throughout the centuries but she seemed to bring out the playful side of him. If anything had managed to convince Jane she was a good addition to their family, it was tallying how much more Alec had smiled since she came into his life to stay.

“I can pilfer the shirts, they’re far less likely to suspect I am up to any wrong doing than if they smell you in their rooms.” Alec pointed out in hushed tones. She nodded, her head tilted up as they walked close together, co-conspirators to anyone looking in.

“Okay, you steal the shirts while I mix the-“

“Mix the what, exactly?” Demetri’s voice came from behind them and with wide eyes Y/N yelled ‘Scatter!’ before the tracker had the chance to grab either of them by the collar. Alec bolted after her down the corridor, just ever so slightly lagging behind her since she still had her newborn strength and speed. She grabbed his wrist without warning and Alec felt Demetri’s hand swipe right through his head before she tugged him straight through a wall and they began to freefall into the courtyard below. Demetri was cursing up a storm inside, her gift having turned them both immaterial long enough to allow them to pass through the walls in a way he couldn’t. Collapsing in a fit of boisterous laughter the pair lingered in the sunlight, eyes bright and smiles wide. For a moment, anyone passing them by might have forgotten their glittering skin and vibrant red eyes, mistaking them for two normal teens experiencing the euphoria of puppy love.

“Did you see his face!” she gasped. Alec could only smile at her, hand reaching to tuck a lock of stray hair behind her ear so he could have an unobstructed view of her face. Her smile faded slightly, expression growing more sheepish instead.

“I was too busy looking at yours. I think I would like to spend every day I have looking at your face over his. I love you Y/N, at least, I think this is what love feels like.” His brows furrowed, the confession falling from his tongue without his permission. He wondered if perhaps it was too soon, too big a word to label the affection they held for one another, but seeing the way her face lit up told him otherwise.

“Pinky swear it, Alec. If you don’t pinky swear it’s not real.” She said, holding out her hand. Alec rolled his eyes but looped his pinky through hers, cementing his promise with all the binding legality the pinky swear had to offer.

“I swear it Y/N. I’m forever yours.”  

[the-winter-witcher]

Before Geralt and reader actually let Jaskier into their bed,he get his frustration out on a number of exotic whores,let's just say that before his darling assassin's dragged him into their blood soaked sheets,anyone who was trying to get into Jaskier's bed knew that Jaskier's tastes ran towards white haired and Greek good chiseled man and dark Marilyn Monroe type woman,needles to say anyone who was in his bed didn't live long enough to brag about it because the originals they copied waited them

Oh once he meets them he definitely has a type that he looks for in his bed partners, always a ripped white haired man and a dark mysterious woman, poor imitations at best.

He's a bit of a sadist (shocker) so he has Geralt and you stay outside his door to 'guard' him while he has his fun. It doesn't go unnoticed by the pair of you but you just shrug it off because, well, if you wanted him you know you could have him.

He gets increasingly frustrated at your lack of caring, that no matter what he does to make you jealous it doesn't affect you meanwhile his own jealousy is reaching its peak.

He watches the way you dance around each other on assignments, the way you're so obviously in sync and the clear desire you have for each other permeates the very air around you with every movement. Of course you try to keep it professional when you're on a job but even then it's just so clear to him that you live and breathe for each other and he can't stand being left out.

He goes so far as to start complaining to the two of you about his lovers to see if it stirs anything in you.

Jask: Guys I'm serious I'm really hurt. They told me they don't want to see me anymore. Me. Can you imagine that? I want you to kill them. It's the only thing that will help me heal.

Geralt: How about you just keep your dick in your pants for five minutes and then we don't have to deal with your theatrics?

Jask: How dare you talk to me like that?

Y/N: Why, what are you gonna do? Make me kill him?

It carries on for a while before one day he walks past your room and hears sounds he knows aren't meant for his ears. They're private and laced with lust and love and of course he should just walk away but he doesn't. He can imagine the scene inside, he's done it often enough, you and Geralt wrapped up in each other so close that there's no room to breathe; sweat dripping from the both of you, sheets tangled below your wanting bodies and eyes blown wide with need. He's surprised by how soft you both sound, all gentle moans and sighs and then-

"I think the Song Bird is ready, my love"

A gentle moan followed by

"But what if I'm not?"

"Talk to me, what is it?"

"I'm not ready to share you my Wolf, not yet"

There's a vulnerability he never would have guessed you were capable of as you admit your feelings.

"I will always be yours my love, I swear it"

Another sigh and a moan and he hears the sheets shift as you both settle into a new position ~in his mind he's imagining how Geralt would look looming over your much smaller frame, a hand round your delicate throat~

"I love you Geralt"

"I love you too, my angel"

More sounds of pleasure escape from the heavy oak door that Jaskier is leant against, hand brushing himself through his clothes as he listens.

"Tomorrow then, we'll do it tomorrow"

"Are you sure my love?"

"I am"

[phoenix-downer]

34

Thanks for the ask! This prompt is from this list, and this particular one is “A kiss to pretend,” so without further ado…

Kisses and Lies

“Oh shoot, I think they’ve spotted us!” Kairi said as she anxiously glanced over Sora’s shoulder at the men in uniform behind him. They were supposed to be tracking these guys undetected through this mall, but apparently their cover was blown. 

Sora quickly looked around to see if there was anywhere they could hide. A cart? A bush? Anything?

Kairi had a more immediate solution in mind. She grabbed his face and said, “Quick, kiss me!”

A confused, “Kairi, wha—” came out of his mouth before she managed to cut him off, smooshing his lips against hers. His arms hung dumbly at his sides while she wove a hand into his hair and did her best to devour his lower lip.

She broke away long enough to hiss, “Sora, don’t just stand there, kiss me back!”

“Er, sorry—”

He was used to fighting Heartless and stuff, not going on undercover missions. But if this would throw the local guards off from noticing they were here, well… 

He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close, then joined their lips together once more. This kiss was much more successful than the first attempt, probably because he hadn’t been taken off guard this time. Memories of warm summer evenings spent on the Play Island together filled his mind, and he let his eyes flutter shut as he lost himself to the kiss. It wasn’t like Kairi was doing anything to stop it, either. She was letting the kiss go on and on and on in a way that would’ve scandalized all their friends back home. Maybe this meant… maybe this meant she still—

She pulled away and glanced behind them. “All clear,” she whispered, then blushed as she realized there was still a strand of spit connecting their mouths together. She quickly wiped her mouth and cleared her throat, as if that could wipe away what had just happened between them. 

“Sorry for springing that on you,” she said with a sheepish smile, “I kinda panicked and didn’t know what else to do. At least it worked though, right?”

“Oh, um, yeah,” he said. “No one wants to watch two people making out. Good thinking, Kairi.” 

He turned away from her for a moment to get it together. Of course that kiss didn’t mean anything. Kairi was serious about this mission, and the kiss was just one step along the way to successfully completing it. It was a distraction, a diversion to throw the guards off their trail.

Too bad it had distracted him too. 

“Sora? You okay?” she said, and even without looking he could picture the concerned look on her face. 

“Yeah, I’m fine,” he replied as he adjusted the baseball cap on his head and straightened his jacket. 

The truth was, he was anything but fine. That kiss had awakened old feelings in him, feelings he thought had been dealt with a long time ago. Before he and Kairi were assigned on this mission together, the painful fog that had clouded his thoughts and memories had finally started to lift, but now—  

“I’m sorry, that was out of line,” she said. “Very unprofessional. My brain just… blanked, and that was the first thing that popped into my head.”

He plastered on a smile and faced her. “It’s okay, really. We needed to keep our cover intact, and now the mission can continue. No harm, no foul.”  

“If you say so,” she said as she chewed her lip. “I know… our breakup was really hard on you—”

Sora really wished she would drop it. The less he thought about how she’d chosen to break up with him, the better. So much for the paopu fruit keeping them together forever. He hadn’t tried using One Heart, the most powerful magic he and Kairi were capable of, since the night of their breakup, either. The last thing the worlds needed was another one-winged angel. 

“What’s in the past is in the past,” he said. “We don’t have to talk about what happened. It’s all behind us.”

He started walking towards the food court, and she followed after him. She had to walk quickly to keep up with his long strides, and he hoped that meant she wouldn’t try to talk.

No such luck.

“But that’s the thing,” she said, her voice low. “We didn’t really talk about it at all. You just… ran off the next day, and I didn’t get to see you for months.”

“That was the point,” he muttered. “It’s what happens with a breakup, Kairi. You stop seeing the person you were seeing so you can both get over it more easily.” 

“Did it work?”

He sighed. “You tell me.” 

She dropped the subject after that, thankfully, and he figured now was as good a time as any to eat.

“Here,” he said as he handed her enough munny to get herself lunch. “Get whatever you want. I’ll meet you at that table over there in ten.” 

“Okay.”

He watched as she made her way over to a restaurant that served Chinese takeout and sighed. Even with her hood pulled over her hair and her arms stuffed in her pockets, she still looked great. 

Curse his brain for trying to make him as miserable as possible. And no fair that she’d gone to the exact restaurant he’d had his eyes on. Oh well. Guess he’d have to try the Greek place, that looked pretty good. Some of the stuff on the menu even reminded him of the food on Herc’s world, and the line wasn’t too bad. 

When she joined him again, he was about halfway through his kofta and rice. She opened up her white takeout box and attacked the rice and stir-fry inside with her chopsticks, eating gracefully despite how hungry she must be. 

“That looks really good,” she said in between bites as she glanced at his food. 

“It is,” he said. “It’s similar to the stuff on Herc’s world.” 

“May I try it?”

“Sure.” 

He watched as she deftly snatched a piece of the kofta from his fork and savored it, her eyes fluttering shut as she enjoyed its taste. It reminded him of all the food they’d shared on dates, of how much he’d enjoyed giving her new things to try. 

“Wow, that really is good,” she said with a smile. “Thanks for sharing.” 

“Glad you like it.”

She was silent for a few moments, then said. “Sora, listen—”

He shot her a warning look. “If this is about earlier—”

“I really am sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you.” 

He grabbed his napkin and wiped his mouth. “Really, it’s fine. It was just a fake kiss. Just pretend. We’re both on the same page about that, so there’s nothing to worry about or apologize for.”

Her shoulders slumped and her head drooped a little despite his reassurance. Her eyes were fixed on her plate, too. 

“Yes, of course,” she said. “I just wanted to make sure you… felt the same way I did about it.” 

“No worries there,” he said, plastering a smile back on his face. “That kiss meant as little to me as it did to you.” 

Her head drooped a little more. “I see.” 

“Now,” he said, ignoring the uneasy feeling in his gut and pulling out his Gummiphone, “let’s talk strategy.” 

She was still staring at her plate like it held the answers to the universe. Time to try a different approach. 

“If we put our heads together, Kairi, this mission will be a success before we know it.”  

She lifted her head. “You really think so?”

“Yeah, of course. We work pretty well together.” He smiled sadly. “That much hasn’t changed.”

The sooner they got this over with, the sooner Sora wouldn’t have to be around her anymore. And yet… a stupid part of him wanted to be with her. The old, foolish Sora that wouldn’t let go of her. But another part of him didn’t want to be with her, the newer, wiser Sora that was better at not getting his heart broken.  

Why were feelings so complicated? Following his heart had never been an issue before, but now his heart was pulling him in about ten different directions, and he didn’t know what the right direction was. 

She nodded. “You’re right, we do work well together. It’s no wonder we got paired together for this mission.”

Sora still felt like cursing Master Yen Sid for coming up with this idea, but now that Kairi’s smile had returned, his anger and frustration was dissipating a little. Curse her smile for having that effect on him still. As much as he hated to admit it, that kiss had been anything but pretend for him. It didn’t matter what lies he told Kairi or himself. A small part of him still cared for her. 

No, that was a lie too. The part of his heart that still loved her was anything but small, and their kiss had made that blindingly obvious. Sora, local idiot and laughingstock of happily partnered people everywhere, was still desperately in love with Kairi, his ex-girlfriend of over a year who had willingly broken up with him. And knowing his luck, which was about the worst of anyone he’d ever met, she would figure it out soon too. 

No, that was another lie. As she looked into his eyes and smiled, he knew she already knew. 

Curse his eyes for being an open book. Curse his face for being so terrible at hiding his feelings. Curse his heart for still being in love with someone who was no longer in love with him. He could only hope she would keep things professional. For that, he would pretend for as long as he needed to. 

And maybe, just maybe, it would stop being pretend for her. Maybe it would become real, like the fake smile on his face that was quickly becoming genuine in response to her smile, like the hearts he’d willed back into existence when everyone else had given up hope they’d be saved. Maybe there was more truth to her smile and to the sparkle in her eyes than she was letting on. And if experience had taught him anything, it was that even lies revealed something of the truth. 

That was the best thing about make-believe. If they pretended long enough, maybe, just maybe, they might get their storybook ending and happily-ever-after in the end. It was no guarantee, and yet… maybe the legend of the paopu fruit wasn’t wrong, after all. 

Whether it was a lie or the truth, Sora would allow himself to believe in it again. And maybe with time, Kairi would too. 

[coffeeandcalligraphy]

10 things finishing my 10th book taught me

Hey People of Earth!

(I cannot believe I typed the title of this post!)

Today, I’m going to be sharing 10 things finishing my 10th book taught me, which means--as of 2:30 this morning, I have finished writing my tenth novel, aka MOTH WORK. I’ve written posts like this for my 7th, 8th, and 9th novels as well!

Enjoy this note no one asked me to write but that I wrote because I was sad: 

I introduced this project on this blog back in June, but actually started it in the notes app of my iPhone (iconic) sometime in January of 2019. At this time, my mental health was *lackin* as I was stressed and in my final months of high school. I needed something to cheer me up, and so Moth Work became a place where I could dump my “bad writing” and also have fun. For more context, you can read more about Moth Work in my various writing updates HERE. 

I didn’t intend for this project to become a novel, but thought I’d write it as a longer “for fun” story (prospective word count was 5k words). I chipped away at it for a few months, but didn’t really start picking it up as a serious project until around May/June. It was only once summer vacation hit that I, under the advice of my therapist to have a “reach goal” for the summer, decided to say fuck it!! I shall write this as a novel (prospective word count now 50k words). This novel has seen me graduate high school + almost finish my first year of university, and I’m so excited to share all the wonderful things I learned while writing it!

1. It is totally okay to take your “guilty pleasures” seriously. 

I was in a mega dilemma writing this book. I’d wrapped up writing my ninth novel just after starting this project, and felt a need to write something that was more “serious”. Though I’m an advocate for writing what you want, when you want, even I struggled not to feel like I was wasting my time writing a project that didn’t have very much literary/craft merit (in my eyes, this changed eventually). 

I am here to tell you--do NOT let anyone, including yourself, shame you out of writing what you like. Allow yourself to let loose and write “bad” things, and remember you don’t have to feel guilty/ashamed for writing stuff that seems “juvenile” or “bad”.

2. Processes change--embrace this.

I took about 4000 different approaches writing this book, and though I really wanted to stick to one (outlining, pantsing), eventually, I let my process be what it wanted to be. For example, I am a pantser and began this novel pantsing. Very quickly, I realized I needed an outline because I could not keep track of events (this book begins very plot-oriented). But, pre-determining events that would happen eventually stopped working as I began feeling constrained, and so I settled for outlining as I went so I could keep track of plot points. 

I outlined 10 of the 15 chapters like this before I sort of... stopped doing this (though I will go back and fill it in just for future reference)! I went back to full-blown pantsing in the last four or so chapters, as what I’d planned would NOT pan out--and I think it’s so important to let your process be what it wants to be. Sometimes this book needed some planning--sometimes it really didn’t. This flexibility has really allowed me to be in touch with my projects more, and really listen to them/understand what it is they need. 

3. Sometimes plans change. Don’t be afraid to follow your gut.

I did not plan for Moth Work to be a novel. But as the project developed, so did its final form. My gut was telling me what I needed to do (continue writing), and another example of this is when I sporadically made this a dual point of view book! I’ve never written a full-length dual POV manuscript, and haven’t written dual POV since I was 12, but I didn’t let that stop me from doing what I knew in my gut, was what the book needed. 

I want to emphasize here--sometimes the vision you imagine changes. Allow this change to happen if you feel it’s right, even if it’s scary. I feel I’ve grown a lot as a writer by just allowing this of myself! It’s easy to beat yourself up for not following your plan, and I did this a lot. Understanding that sometimes plans turn into other plans turn into other plans etc, is the most freeing thing you can do for your writing!

4. Write what makes you happy!

This project began as a means to increase my serotonin lmaooo and I think sometimes as writers, we forget that yes, art is hard, but writing what you like can make that difficulty just a little more tolerable. This book started toiling toward disaster mode for a few chapters in the middle, and I really was not happy writing it. You can feel the difference in the chapters when I felt comfortable writing, versus when I struggled because I felt I “had to”. And so I took a step back and re-evaluated. Since this was not working/not making me happy, what would? This question solved my problems (not easily, but lead me on the right path). The artist! does not! have to! suffer! 

Sometimes problems occur, and critically thinking through them is vital. I’m not saying just to do whatever every time something doesn't work because this isn’t a shortcut. However, my point is not to be afraid to change things up and write what will make you happier and help you finish the book if you feel that’s what you need. I wanted to write a cheesy romance about two boys who both need to chill, and so though I could’ve written something else, I wrote this because it genuinely made me happier! And I love that about this book!

5. Things can take longer than you expect. You’re not a bad writer because of this.

Y’ALL. I wanted to write 50k words of this book over one summer. One month! One! Month! Lots of folks can do this, but I did not! In fact, I hit 50k this month, which is half a year after I projected. 

I think a lot of us constitute speed to being a good writer, and while speed and being a good writer can coexist, speed is not necessarily a determining factor in whether you can write or not! This book took me just over a year from when I started it (nine months from when I took it on as a full-time project), and while sure, I could’ve written it faster, I let it develop as it needed, and wrote it when I felt I could. I am not a professional writer with deadlines (that’s different)! While you gotta put in the time to improve, I think you also gotta look out for yourself! Use your gut, and take your time if that’s what you need!

6. Craft and play can coexist.

This took me so long to grasp, and I still struggle with this today! Craft and play can coexist. Say it with me y’all: craft and play can coexist!!

My manifesto for Moth Work initially was to have it be my dumping ground for shitty writing. While this took the pressure off initially, I then felt like I was regressing in my craft (which was untrue, I just didn’t realize it at the time). So, I decided to begin taking the craft aspect of this book very seriously, trying to write polished, delicious prose (every! time!) and the fact of the matter is that often, this did not happen. 

I beat myself up over this! I was like: Rachel, 16-year-old you was pumping out better prose than this, what’s up? And I put so much pressure on myself to perfect the writing, even though this was only ever meant to be a “for funsies” project. Eventually, I came to understand that, okay, I really do want this to be a for funsies project, but I also want to enjoy re-reading it and not criticizing every aspect of it. I then began incorporating a few passes of line edits after drafting a chapter, until eventually, I stopped circling back to chapters to line-edit them altogether. You don’t have to be perfect on the first draft!

You also don’t have to sacrifice craft to have fun, just as the opposite is true. This book taught me a lot about finding this balance, something I’ve lacked in my writing process for years!

7. Your writing styles can differ from book-to book!

I couldn’t understand why my prose in this book felt “thin” (aka awful in my eyes), why the only thing I felt capable of describing was literally everything shining in some sort of way (glinting, glimmering, glowing lool) or overzealous descriptions of the moon. It was only about a month ago that I realized, after making a breakthrough with my litfic novel Houses With Teeth, that Moth Work was not sucking the life out of my prose--it was just a different book with a different style of writing.

And this makes sense! I was writing with two different characters, in two different perspectives, in a completely different POV than I’m used to writing in the long-form (third-present). Of course things were going to be different! I felt a bit silly realizing this, lol, because it felt so obvious, but I struggled with this for a long time (you can even see bits of this struggle in my video Problems I’m having with writing + solutions). 

I thought I had regressed to being a bad writer because of this book, when in reality, the fault was on my inability to stop comparing a very different book to my very different past works. Sometimes you don’t even realize you’re working against yourself! Acknowledging this, and then letting it go was the best thing I did for this book and it allowed me to draft it much faster toward the end!

8. Writing is NOT linear.

I spoke about this in my Problems video, and I honestly was nervous to see how this hot take would be received. However, I was surprised to see that some folks thought this hot take was actually not a bad one, so I’m re-iterating it here!

I think, because we writers are often always practicing writing, we assume everything we write will be better than the last. Honestly, I feel like at least for me, this was my goal--to always be working linearly in terms of progress. It wasn’t until this book that I really came to realize that this is just not how writing works. The easiest way for me to compare this, also as a visual artist, is to say that sure, practice does make perfect, but I have sketches from last week that are worse than sketches I drew two years ago. Why is it that we expect writing to always be linearly better from one project to the next? My answer is that this is just not how writing works. I wrote some of my favourite paragraphs years ago, and may be embarrassed of a paragraph I write tomorrow. 

I got caught up in this idealism of “I must be writing better each time I write” because I thought this was the most logical progression of my writing craft, but realizing that actually!! progress jumps around, was so important for me. Some days I’m better at writing description, some days I write dialogue worse than I did when I was fourteen! It’s okay not to always be uphill. 

Y’all, if I step down a wrung on a ladder and then step up four the very next day, that’s how it’s going to be! Practice intrinsically will make you grow as a writer, but it doesn't mean everything you write has to be better than what you wrote before (though this can be the case, which is awesome). I feel like I don’t see this spoken about enough, so I do want to know if this is relevant to any of you or if this point is bologna!!!

9. The story wants what it wants.

This is heavily in line with some previous points, but is something that was driven home for me while writing this novel. If I can give one piece of advice, it would be to let the story be what it wants to be. If my story wants to be a YA fantasy trilogy, but I’m trying to force it to be a standalone pretentious character-driven coming-of-age saga (calling myself out), my writing may suffer! Of course, some writers can take control over their story and execute their initial vision perfectly! I am not! one of those! people!

I’m a firm believer that sometimes the story wants what it wants, and it’s often your best bet to follow this path. Write intuitively--if you know something feels wrong, or contrarily, feels right, follow that path. 

I did not know how to end this book. I’d had an ending planned for a few months, though it eventually fell apart in the last few weeks. I didn’t know what I would do instead, but last night when I was drafting the last two chapters of the book, I felt in my gut that I was heading to the end. I wanted to stop writing for the night--I almost did, but instead, I kept at it because I knew I was on a roll toward the finish line, and I felt compelled to follow my instinct. This is how I landed at the end I wrote in, and it was a completely organic process.

Planning out your story is a great thing to do, and I’m not here to start a debate about whether plotting/pantsing is better because they’re both amazing!! But for me, it’s important to let the story breathe, and let it eventually grow into the shoes it chooses for itself. Taking a step back so I could stop trying to mould this story into a place it didn't want to be is probably the best thing I could’ve done for it because I finished the book. Any process is a good process if it gets you to the end healthily, and for me, allowing the story to be what it wanted to be and allowing it to take the lead helped me get there.

10. It’s okay to love your story.

I’m going to end this post on another hot take because it is probably what I primarily felt early this morning as I typed up the last paragraph of this book. I’m not going to lie--I cried finishing this book lol. I ached finishing this book. It *hurt* to finish this book. I didn’t want to finish this book. What I wanted to do was shut my computer, and pretend the end was not coming, and come back four months from now to finish it, maybe. I wanted to hang onto my story because it’s my story and I love it!

Y’all, this book is cringey. It’s melodramatic, juvenile in some places, comically serious in others. But it’s mine, and I love it. Sometimes I’m ashamed of the writing in this book--sometimes I think I’m getting worse. But it’s my story, and I love! it! 

I think so many of us want to please other people! Or maybe that’s just me lol!! oh boy!! There were so many times I wanted to give up on this project because I thought others would find it cringey in places I too, thought were cringey, but simultaneously loved.

I’ve written for other people a lot in the past, and sometimes those ‘other people’ are just me--many critical versions of me. Don’t forget about how much you love a story (for its quirks maybe, its clichés, its “bad writing”) before you finish it. A first draft only comes once and finishing a first draft is so wonderful, and even more so when you love that story. We got enough hate y’all, lets give our stories some love. 

So that’s it for this post! I still have five chapters to write writing updates for, so the party ain’t over til it’s over!!!

For my obligatory Oscar’s speech! A special thanks to @sarahkelsiwrites​​ for reading about these trash people for five years, and for enthusiastically contributing to their trash decisions (#do it for the tea)! And for reassuring me that the prose in this book is actually not as bad as I believe because I would never have finished this book without that pep talk lol. To @imdisappointed​​ for helping me crack some of the toughest plot problems!! You talk me out of problems and it’s magic! And to my MOM @shaelinwrites​​ (for being my mom) and also for all the kind/insightful things you say! Y’all get me through it!!!

And of course!! I thank all of YOU for following this journey of drafting Moth Work. My community on here never fails to amaze me, and I’m a big stan of you all!! Please tag me in your stuff--I’d love to read about what you’re writing!

Here’s to finishing a book, but more importantly, to hoping I don’t make Moth Work a series lmaoo!!! *pops confetti*

--Rachel

[darkpoisonouslove]

WIP Wednesday

This is an excerpt from that The Client List AU I have mentioned before. I have no idea when this will be ready since I have only written one of the four scenes it is supposed to have but I wanted to put it here as an “official” WIP to, hopefully, give me some drive to work on it. This is a flashback which is why it is in italics.

The uniform was about five inches shorter than anything she’d ever worn in her life–it barely covered her underwear and that was subject to change as soon as she moved more than a lifeless doll would–and left too much cleavage on display. The push-up bra Ediltrude had lent her in the wake of her impulsive decision was a bit too small and had her breasts spilling out of the already low cut of the satin slip that could never pass as work attire. At least she’d kept her flats on account of neither of the twins having spare heels that would fit her and her braid was still in place since her hair would otherwise cover everything that had to stay exposed.

She cracked open the door just enough to slip in the room and turned to close it without sparing a glance at the massage table. Her face was almost pressed in the hardness of the wood her fingers were clutching at but she only had so many seconds for a deep breath. The atmosphere had to be sizzling hot and she couldn’t allow herself to load it with an awkward chill leaving her with the need for an ice breaker she’d struggle to find when she had no passion for her current task.

“Now you’re looking the part of Faragonda’s successor,” a familiar deep voice had her whipping around at its caress against her mind.

“Valtor,” all she herself was capable of was the startled squeak of a mouse ambushed by the house cat waiting outside its hole. Hardly the sexiest sound in existence. Had it been someone else, she could have very well blown her chance of a tip. The flaming ice of Valtor’s gaze only crackled loudly with his increased desire to have her blowing him, however.

“I’m holding my breath to see if you’ll follow up in everything else as well. Or... perhaps even up the ante.” His eyes were on her almost tangibly – much the same way the curses were gathering on her tongue. She only held them back since it was her paycheck they would destroy and not the countless useless certificates she had to allow her to do her job. “You’ve never disappointed.”

Of course, she hadn’t. She’d studied hard to get the qualifications needed for various massage practices with recreational and healing effect on the body only to end up in one room with him and two very simple things to do – look sexy and touch inappropriately. This wasn’t anywhere near her area of professional expertise, not to mention her comfort zone.

She moved to grab the massage oil. “How come you’re both a regular and a special client?” That was the delicate way of putting it and more than the people involved in that illegitimate branch of the business deserved. Of course, she was one of them now.

“I’m not really,” Valtor said, his eyes following her incessantly and it was annoyingly comforting in its familiarity. And he was happy to provide all the words she needed. “I was left high and dry when Faragonda left and her replacement refused to take her special clients.”

Griffin frowned as she rubbed the oil over her hands as if she could massage the whole predicament away. “One of the other girls could have covered you.” They were all content enough with the job to tell her she’d get used to it in a while. She knew from Faragonda that it was true to an extent. A few sessions to give you some experience and you didn’t feel like you’d be eaten alive anymore, but there were things that didn’t leave as easily as the alien feeling around the whole deal. Her sense of morality was overpowered by her need for money but it wasn’t completely shut down. Not even enough so for it to stop screaming at her about the wrongness of what she was about to do.

“I wanted to see you,” his interest had been keen every time she’d worked on relaxing his chiseled muscles so she had no trouble believing that, “so I ended up on the regular massage tables.” It was ironic, really, how the tables were all the same while what happened on them made all the difference in her life. “After that,” the dramatic pause was his trademark as was the sweet talk, “there was no going back.”

Griffin turned around, ready to face him now that she was sure his eyes wouldn't scrub her skin raw with their honesty. “Yet, here you are. Right back to the special treatment.” And she’d followed him. At herself, at least, she had the right to be mad.

Valtor met her head on. “Yes, I am right back on your table.” How did he have such a great impact on her without even touching her? Her muscles were all frozen and it was showing in the distance still between her and where he was lying that she should have crossed already. She’d crossed off her principles. “I had a regular massage scheduled with you when I came here and learned you were taking special clients now. So I switched back to being one.”

[justimajin]

Origins of the Park Blues 

⇢ Pairing: Jimin x Chaeyoung

⇢ Genre: Fluff, Comedy, Angst

↳ Doctor/Surgeon AU, Prequel to the Doctor Blues Universe - read the series here and the sequel here first! 

⇢ Words: 10.1k

⇢ Warnings: brief mentions of violence and blood, depictions of the pre-med struggle, might need some tissues for the ending

⇢ Summary: Dr. Park is many things - charming, funny, unnecessarily dramatic though he begs to disagree with that last one, but the person he is today wasn’t always who he was meant to become. Before Dr. Park existed, there was a certain person named Park Jimin back in college, someone he truly can’t seem to recognize after all the years that had soared by. With a wave of nostalgia and some fragments of leftover memories, he recalls a time he’s never shared, one that particularly involves two special people he’s managed to never let go of. 

C. 

Velvet black encircles his arms, draping down to hug his lean torso. His hands rise to fiddle around with his loose collar, the striking white beneath settling quite nicely with the black. Layers of gel stick to his hair, parting his flimsy bangs away from his forehead and flaunting the gold studs in his ears.

Taking a step back, the glass before him embodies his image with a perfect capture, down to the loose tie that dangles from his neck and the charming smile his sparkling teeth flash.

“Jimin?”

The sound of his name beckons him to turn, a young woman with brightly coloured orange locks meeting his field of view. Her hand is pressed against the broad door frame, waves of long hair falling delicately against her cheek as she adjusts her crème coloured heels.

“Oh. You’re ready?” Her foot falls flat onto the ground, the same crème shade pooling around her form.

A small chuckle escapes him, a taunting hand resting on his hip.

“Told you it was only going to take me ten minutes~”

“I had to be sure.” Chaeyoung huffs out, quickly snatching a small gold clutch as she positions herself right beside him, glancing at the mirror. An assortment of cosmetics spill out from the bag, her eyes and hands carefully rummaging through all the material. “You did say you wanted to leave early in advance.”

“That was the change in plan since we all decided to go together.” Jimin sighs, “I just wish Yoongi told me beforehand so I wouldn’t have spent an hour watching Titanic when I could have been showering.”

She giggles in the middle of lining her eyes with a thick coat of black, “But it was so cute watching you tear up when Rose had to say goodbye to Jack.”

“I wasn’t crying!! My eyes were just irritated!!!” More giggles flow out of her, eyes leaving her reflection when she shoots him an amused look. “Don’t tell anyone Chae, they won’t let me live it down.”

She mimics a zipper with her fingertips, running them across her lips with a smile. Jimin lets out a relieved exhale, hand pressed against his chest when he slumps against the dresser.

A thought sparkles in Chaeyoung’s mind, “You know, it still surprises me how close all of you are.”

It seems to revive Jimin, whose eyes are back on again with wide alert.

“What do you mean?”

“Well,” She backs away from the mirror, de-twisting the tube of lipstick in her hands before setting it away, “When I first started at the hospital, I expected everyone to be more professional.”

“–which everyone was of course,” She corrects herself when Jimin frowns, “but all of you were friends and I had always thought doctors were more…I don’t know, serious?”

Glancing back at Jimin, she shrugs, “Everyone in medical school certainly was.”

“Now that’s where you’re wrong though.” Jimin lifts himself up, standing to face Chaeyoung, “Most of us didn’t come out of medical school as strangers and in fact,” He points a knowing finger at her, eyes holding a glimmer within them, “Y/N and Taehyung were childhood friends before working at the hospital together.”

Chaeyoung freezes; mouth agape and brows raised when Jimin simply devilishly grins in return.

“C-Childhood friends?!” He nods, swaying back and forth on his heels with a candied smile, “But didn’t they hate each other...?”

“At first, since Y/N didn’t know Taehyung was her old friend until he eventually told her about it,” Chaeyoung gazes at him in awe and he smiles, “Now they don’t seem to be so professional with each other, right?”

She hums, eyes in deep thought until Jimin throws her another curveball, “Those two aren’t the only ones though. Yoongi, Y/N and me were friends back in college.”

Jimin tries to stifle back a laugh when Chaeyoung’s eyes are the size of large saucers, practically gaping at him when no words seem to be coming out of her mouth. Her blown away expression causes Jimin to lose it after a couple of ticking seconds, light giggles flooding through the room.

“How did you become friends?” She wonders out loud, though it’s no news to Jimin when the impending shock has yet to fade away from her. A giant fond grin spurs out from him at the question, nostalgia beginning to whirl over his head and spreading a warm array of some dwindling memories.

“It’s a longggg story…” He lightly laughs when Chaeyoung immediately sulks, his eyes affectionately disappearing. His words only serve to spark more interest from her, a stream of endless questions ready to spew out.

“But I guess we have enough time to start it off.”

Her eyes turn hopeful right away, a reaction that only results in an enamoured laugh from Jimin. His eyes gradually drift, fixating themselves upon the clean-cut image that stares back.

“I was a very different person back then, believe it or not,” He whispers, smile not leaving once when Chaeyoung’s eyes instantly grow brighter, shuffling closer as if she was in the midst of watching a highly anticipated movie. When his eyes directly connect to those in his reflection, the image begins to distort – ripples of glass oscillating as his black hair becomes more tousled and brighter until a hue of orange takes over. The sophisticated black wrings into a striking azure blue, sliver chains clinking around the old denim jeans that fasten tightly onto his hips.

He smirks, though it comes off as much more mischievous and with a dark daring glint to his eyes this time.

“Until I met them.”

***

The long narrow hallways leading into different offices and wards, brimming with individuals pacing around in white coats and clipboards as they earnestly examine patients vanishes within a mere second. Similar to a bubble bursting, the remains swirl until they restore back into a much older form, one that is coloured with a string of new sunny beige buildings. The ground is now lined with ashy sidewalks, a range of young adults walking amongst each other with bags stringed against their backs. Some carry heavy electronic devices while others have loud music being blasted into their ears, both stopping occasionally to interact with one another.

It definitely isn’t the same – isn’t the same place that are harbours his dearest friend’s faces as they go about their work, a balance of both concern and laughter echoing through the walls on a day to day basis. Even though it’s not what he’s grown to become incredibly fond of though; there’s still this surge of familiarity when a similar level of tension runs across the many student’s expressions.

“Did you meet them here?” Chaeyoung curiously peeks out at the imagined students walking back, chattering aimlessly as if not noticing the two people carefully watching them from afar.

“Unfortunately I didn’t have the pleasure of meeting them here, or separately.” Jimin sighs, “Those two were always together long before I arrived.”

When Jimin reaches out his hand, Chaeyoung immediately takes it. He points to a rather large building on the side and from the exterior alone, she can see the series of long shelves lined up together, an array of books arranged in alphabetical order. Drawing closer, the building seems to be packed with students that all have their noses planted within piles and piles of book – including one specific student that has her eyes widening, their appearance being much younger compared to the capable doctor she so admiringly knows of.

“There are five metacarpals and fourteen phalanges in the hand, each piece of bone allowing for joint movement through flexion and extension…” A voice mumbles robotically, the faint pitter patter of feet pacing around a long table and the distant flipping of pages greeting her ears straight away. There’s another person covered with a hood slumped down onto the table, fallen arms and head given a front row seat to the pacing.

As more words begin to spill out from the balanced book in the young girl’s hand, Chaeyoung can only stare in fascination, “Scaphoid, trapezium, capitate, trapezoid, lunate, pisiform, triquetrum–“

The footsteps come to a halt, the book dropping onto the table with a loud thud.

“Are you even listening to me Yoongi?”

“It’s hamate.” He finishes, a deep yawn leaving him as his arms stretch out and his back tenses. He slumps down again, blonde locks falling across his face and eyes more relaxed. “And I am Y/N, I’m just tired.”

You huff, placing a hand against your hip, “You can’t be tired when exams are right around the corner. Plus, we haven’t even gotten to the middle of this chapter.”

Much to your own dismay, Yoongi doesn’t say anything. Instead he opts to reach out and grab onto your arm, dragging you down until you land onto the seat next to him with a ‘oof!’. He forces you to plant your head against the table, pushing your backpack forward to work as a cushion.

“You’ve reviewed enough.” He mumbles, voice coming out exhausted, “Relax.”

“But–“

He presses a finger to his lips and shuts his eyes, immediately dozes off within an impressive number of minutes. You let out a sigh, not succumbing down into protests against his wishes when you’ve learn that Yoongi isn’t the type of person to take ‘no’ for an answer when it comes down to things he knows are right. In a way, you think it’s a quality that would make him a great doctor, not backing out on his word when he’s made a firm decision.

Maybe that’s why in a handful of rigorous students competitively hoping to outweigh each other to the point of becoming doctors, you’ve stuck to Min Yoongi like glue. He wasn’t so difficult to get along with and did his work, leaving you in a somewhat peaceful state of mind even when adrenaline was spiking and coursing through your veins rapidly during exam session. He was also from Daegu – just like you – which oddly left you feeling at home even though you were millions of miles away from it.

“I told you to relax, not to stare at me like you’re examining a damn specimen.”

When one of his eyes crack open to glare at you, you simply laugh.

“Yes Sir.” Fluttering close your eyes, you can feel sleep pulling you away just like the blonde-haired man next to you, all the accumulated stress and worries arising from your impending deadlines slowly washing away as the hours ticked by.

Chaeyoung smiles.

“Dr. Min and Dr. L/N are still the same.”

“Between the two of us, I think the two of them have gotten much softer.” Jimin giggles, a hand pressed to his mouth, “But don’t tell Yoongi that, he’ll get angry.”

“Deal.” She winks at him, but her vision then roams around the room, not catching onto the sight of the cheeky doctor she loves so much.

“Where are you though? You didn’t meet them in the library?”

“Uhh well…” Jimin suddenly shifts into an alarming shade of red, causing Chaeyoung to frown, “You could say my entry into their lives was a little…dramatic.”

At that, she grins, “I think I’d be disappointed if it wasn’t.”

“Then you’re in for quite a nice surprise.”

The scene transitions, spiralling and twisting until the numerous shelves and tables have disappeared into small puffs of mist. Instead, rows and rows of chairs are aligned together, students no longer adhered to the pages of their books anymore but now fixated on the man uttering words in the front of the room as they scribble down intricate drawings from the board.

Your brows are furrowed as you frantically mimic the man’s drawings, young eyes reflecting the same focus as every other student situated in the room. Next to you is Yoongi, who although holds the same stance, leans back in his chair as his eyes nonchalantly roll over the pictures.

It’s right then that Chaeyoung notices just how right Jimin is; observing how your eyes are much more different compared to the kind eyes that had first greeted her within the walls of the hospital, offering up a hand right away when she was under the wrath of her once tense superior. These are not the eyes of the Dr. L/N she’s been so well acquainted with, instead they’re the eyes of a determined and studious student, fueled with ambition and a certain degree of sharp coldness that she’s surprised to even see.

Before she can even mutter something to Jimin, he pokes the side of her arm, drawing her attention to the wide expanse of the grey doors behind all the students. Bewildered, she stares at him confused when he grins, gesturing for her to keep looking.

When Chaeyoung turns, she doesn’t expect the doors to slam wide open with a rough bam, jolting when swaying footsteps echo into the semi-quiet hall. The surprise doesn’t lie in the action though, it lies in who exactly comes out from those doors.

She blinks, not even recognizing that man that strides through the staircases as he rakes a hand through his neon orange hair, chains loosely dangling back and forth at his hips. There’s a loose smirk on his lips and a dark glimmer in his eyes, something Chaeyoung has only distinctly seen before with lesser degree of intensity.

The man strolls along the staircase until he quite ungracefully flops down onto a chair. His presence seems to cause a sudden cascade of reactions, from nearby peers immediately sneering and pushing their books away from him with grimaces, to nearby feminine eyes curiously and eagerly peeking to steal glances at him.

Even though it’s supposed to be a mere recollection, it causes Chaeyoung’s stomach to turn a bit despite her best efforts to ignore it. The black-haired man next to her leans closer and embraces an arm around her shoulders, dipping her back into the realization that even though she’s seeing the same person, they’re from two different time periods and that’s something she willing accepts.

Resuming back to the scene, she notices that the man has seated himself right next to two familiar faces.

“Great.” She watches you mumble harshly underneath your breath, “Go ask someone else.”

“But I haven’t even said anything yet.” He taunts with a vaguely similar whining voice and Chaeyoung giggles at the sound of it.

“Forget it.” There’s a venomous look in your eyes when you spit out the words – an expression that truly surprises Chaeyoung, “I’m not going to be the person you mooch off Park.”

“I missed half the lecture though!!” Immediately a collection of hushes surround him, neighboring annoyed eyes proceeding to giving the board their attention.

“How about the homework answers then?”

You don’t say a word when he so blatantly tries to bargain with you, eyes firmly squinting at the words being inscribed on the projector instead. However, it grows harder by the minute to do so when he starts to shoot you increasing worse puppy looks in a desperate attempt to wear you down. You have to eventually hold up a book to his face, ignoring his existence completely until he decides to rest his chin on the top of it, a giant pout plastered onto his lips.

A very grateful sigh escapes you when near by students begin to pack up their laid-out books once the clock’s handles shift. The speed at which you get up is instant; snatched up books in hand as you quickly follow the blonde mop of hair that leaves, failing to realize the trail of orange closely stuck to your side.

“Are you guys going to the library~”

You throw a pleading look at Yoongi when he cheekily calls out, distress leaking into your eyes. Yoongi reaches out, grabbing onto your arm and swiftly pulling you along.

“We’re actually going back to my apartment. Sorry, no pets allowed.” You don’t expect Yoongi to suddenly dash away, dragging you with him before any words get past Jimin’s lips.

“I think we’ve lost him.” You hurriedly say, luckily slowing down Yoongi who was running at a remarkable pace that went beyond all of your expectations.

A low sigh leaves you, “You know, that’s the third time this week.”

“I know – unfortunately when he bumps into you, he bumps into me too.” He leans against the wall to catch his breath, “Asked me for the psych lecture notes the other day. I told him my dog ate it.”

You scrunch up your nose, “You fed Holly your psych notes?”

“No, but I couldn’t tell him that.” You can’t tell if he’s being serious or not, “Listen, my dog eats like a king and that guy wasn’t going to leave me alone even if Holly did eat it.”

You hum, “I really don’t understand him. Everyone here is trying so hard just to get a step into medical school and here he is, walking around and using people to pass.”

“Me neither. The guy doesn’t stand a chance if he keeps acting like that.”

“Sometimes I wonder if we’ll even have a chance.” The grip on your backpack tightens, “They cut down the acceptances by a hundred last year Yoongi, a hundred.”

“All the more to keep trying.” He gestures for you to follow hm, “Come on, I have leftovers over at my place and all this talk about school is making my head hurt.”

A lopsided smile arises on your lips and you tread along behind him.

***

“That’s how you met?” Chaeyoung whispers, “You were trying to mooch off of them?”

 Jimin shyly grins, “I wasn’t the greatest at studying and doing my work…. but I’ve gotten better now!”

Chaeyoung stares at him in disbelief, firm hands planted on her hips.

“You used to give all your paperwork to Jungkook.”

“Hey! It was a learning opportunity! He was my intern and he needed to learn!”

“Then how did you become a doctor? If you were constantly ‘mooching off’ people?”

 “I already told you, it’s a longgg story.”

He points back to the scene, grinning when it changes into a different one and Chaeyoung curiously watches it unfold.

“Shit.”

Your hand reaches out, grabbing onto a nearby arm and shaking it awake as you hiss, “Yoongi, wake up! He’s back!”

The man groans for a moment, tired eyes staring back at you.

 “What do you mean he’s bac–“

“Hi there!”

He sits down before you have the chance to run away, scooting over uncomfortably closer to you and Yoongi with a wide grin. Yoongi is completely awake now, sharing a dejected sigh with you and you decide that it was about time you focused on the next reading anyway after that much needed nap.

To your utter surprise, everything goes well within a couple of minutes, only minor disruptions caused by him every now and then. From his bored stare directed to the ceiling and the stretching of his legs until they bump into you, to his occasional waves and smirks being sent to some of his female companions walking by – its only inconvenient to the extent that you have to simply ignore him and resume back to studying right after.

“Were you guys avoiding me?”

He whispers it so quietly, voice dropping down into low tone and encompassing a melodramatic tinge to it that has your brows contorting. Luckily, Yoongi answers in a firm voice in place of you, not a drop of emotion in his eyes as he stares at him.

“Yes. You were following us around everywhere.”

“Oh.” He places a hand on his chest, eyes furiously widening and a gasp slipping from his lips.

“I was just merely trying to get some help and–“

“Aren’t you a fuckboy?”

The words fly out before you can catch them and even Yoongi stares at you in surprise with the forwardness. However, after the abundance of rumors speculating around him that have caught onto your ears, you can only wonder just how much of your hunch is actually true.

Much to your own relief, he doesn’t seem offended at all by your outburst, but there’s a dark glint residing in his eyes when he leans in closer to you.

“Why, what have you heard about me sweetheart?”

Your mouth immediately drops and when he sends you a playful wink, all blood drains away from your face. A boisterous laugh leaves him when you slightly scoot away, closer to Yoongi and much farther away from him.

A time period away, a horrified voice screeches. 

“YOU HIT ON DR. L/N?!?”

“Might not want to mention that fact tonight.” He immediately corrects her with a wince, “And I was just teasing, Y/N wouldn’t even talk to me properly!”

“I can’t even imagine anyone else with Dr. L/N aside from Dr. Kim,” Chaeyoung whispers, donning a soured expression, “It’s just weird thinking that it could have happened.”

“Nah, I can tell you right away she wasn’t interested, plus I got the feeling that Yoongi would have killed me if I said anything.”

Jimin chuckles yet Chaeyoung quirks up a brow.

“Were you interested though?”

The very thought causes Jimin’s face to fall, though a cheesy smile soon replaces it when he gazes at her.

“I think it’s pretty clear at this point who I’m interested in.”

***

You sigh, eyes still glaring at the orange mop of hair that refuses to leave your side no matter what you do. Leaning over, you make eye contact with Yoongi who simply shrugs, having long given up trying to get rid of the man that sticks you like a piece of gum.

Within a short period of time, you have learned quite a few things. Number one – his name is Jimin and he’s a thorn in your side that you can’t get rid of, having followed you and Yoongi around and pestering you for days with questions. He meets you at every corner no matter how far you and Yoongi run and he’s somehow managed to get the blonde-haired doctor to accept his presence. You on the other hand, not so much.

Number two – his reputation has proven to be true. From the flirty winks and playful smirks he constantly sends, your suspicions have confirmed to be a hundred percent true. Although it doesn’t bother you with what he spends his spare time doing, it becomes quite annoying when his distractions tend to accompany him around too, disrupting many of your study sessions that you and Yoongi used to lead once in comfortable silence.

Number three – he’s incredibly annoying. From his random outbursts and loud bolstering voice, you wonder if the man ever has the realization that there’s people around him studying, or worse that they’re sitting right beside him studying. It causes you to sigh even more than usual, a set of noise cancelling ear plugs always in your hand as you and Yoongi casually share them, not sure what to do anymore when you’ve simply grown tired and just need to study for your impending exams.

Something also worthy to note, is that Jimin doesn’t really seem to care about exams at all. Either he asks you or Yoongi with a frown about what you’re doing, and then resumes back to playing around with the chains on his jeans. Heck, you don’t think you’ve seen him actually pull out a book of his own, either grabbing one of yours to read until he grows bored and discards it to the side.

You pinch the bridge of your nose, your patience growing thinner and thinner as time spins.

“I just don’t get it! Why is this guy even here in the first place if he isn’t going to study? Why stick to two nerds when he can go to one of his girls and do whatever he wants?!” Yoongi frowns when you use the word ‘nerds’ but lets it slip when your voice comes out harsh, teeth gritting from just the memories of him disrupting you two.

He simply shrugs, “All you can do is just leave it Y/N, exams are around the corner and neither of us have the time to deal with him right now even if we wanted to.”

You hum and Yoongi slings his bag over his shoulder, reaching out to ruffle your hair affectionately.

“I have to head back to my place now, but feel free to drop by.”

With a reassuring smile, he leaves. Letting out a troubled exhale, you spin around and wonder if Yoongi is perhaps right. At this point, you’re at a loss with the options in your hand and the most you can do is just concentrate on your studying even as the presence of a certain orange haired man continuously plagues you.

As if the mere mention is brought into light for him, an arm is soon looping around your neck.

“Y/N!”

You shrug it off with a scoff, “Oh look, you actually remembered my name.”

He gasps, “Of course I would remember! Plus it had such a nice ring to it, Y/N~”

Loudly giggling, you roll your eyes and clutch onto your bag tighter, “Nice, now if you excuse me I need to go study.”

“Ooh I’ll come with! There was a chapter I wanted to go over.”

You huff, telling yourself to just deal with him for a couple of hours since you luckily still had a handful of earplugs Yoongi had generously gotten for you. But that’s when his rambles continue on and on, failing to realize that every word he enounces drives your eyebrow to twitch and fist to clench more.

When the cord finally snaps, you stop in the middle of the hallway, spinning on your heels so incredibly fast with a deadly glare in your eyes.

“Listen Park, I don’t know what you’re so hooked on following me and Yoongi around, but I’d like to get some time to study by myself.”

The words are intentionally acidic and you’re silently hope they’re enough to drive him away from you so you can get some peace and quiet, but he’s soon pouting in front of you, acting like a child that had just been scolded at.

“Aw come on Y/N!” He loudly whines, catching the curious glances of nearby passersby, “Why don’t you like me?! Even Yoongi doesn’t mind!”

“I’m not Yoongi.” You grit out, exhaling when he still continues to pout and you realize you honestly don’t have time for any of this, not wanting to go into the extensive explanation that the blonde haired man has just given up similarly to you and accepted his nonchalant presence.

“Just leave me alone, I have things to do.”

And with that, you walk away. Thankfully, there’s no footsteps accompanying behind you for once and you exhale in relief, wondering how much Yoongi would share the mutual feeling when you can just slip back into studying together without any unwanted disruptions. However just as your mind is filled with the thoughts of your close friend, a screeching siren violently blares out.

Your vision is clouded with angry hues of red, a hand pressed against the building’s door when multiple white vehicles begin to emerge out of nowhere. The car doors are slammed open, a flood of people surging out and surrounding the car that had been smashed to bits across the pavement.

That’s when your eyes slowly shift over to the ground, the very faint yet distinctly familiar blonde locks covered in scarlet, sprayed out right beside fallen shades of metal. You can feel a collection of sharp breezes from around you, whispers and murmurs echoing and stealing a glance at the commotion rampaging outside.

But you do not move.

You stare there, hand still gripping onto the door for dear life when your shoes feel like cement has sunken into them, ears drowning in the sound of the sirens and eyes still filled with the beaming bright red that madly flashes.

You don’t notice the hand that grasps onto your shoulder, you don’t notice the sensation of being whisked around, eyes confronting frantic orange instead of blonde and you especially don’t notice the terrified expression Jimin dons.

***

It’s all a blur.

One moment you’re standing outside the building watching all of this unravel before your eyes and the next, you’re situated outside of a hospital room, eyes glued to the ground as the orange haired man beside you paces around.

You don’t look up when he stops right in front you, kneeling down so that your eyes are inches away for him when he reaches out for your hands.

“Y-Y/N?” His voice is extremely coarse, something that doesn’t strike a flicker within your eyes. “Are–…are you okay?”

When you finally spare him a glance, the tears come bursting out. You seem to have no control left when they harshly shudder out of your body, adjacent blue sleeves reaching up to wipe them away hurriedly before they can meet the ground.

You don’t seem to notice when Jimin tugs you into his arms, your sobs being muffled by his shirt.

“T-There’s so much blood.” You choke out, “I-I…I don’t know if he’s going to make it out Jimin, I–“

“He will.” Jimin quickly whispers, yet a faint tremor is lodged within his voice, “H-He has to...”

Your entire form trembles when you clutch onto him tighter.

“I can’t lose him too, I-I just can’t.”

Jimin freezes, confusion masking onto him for a brief moment until you tremble in his arms again. He casts the thought away altogether, focusing on holding you instead of his own pondering.

When the silence falls, you’re the first to move.

Parting away from Jimin whose gaze lingers on your red eyes, a lone tear runs down as you sniffle. He doesn’t say anything accompanying you where the chairs are, sitting down with a weak sigh.

Despite your best attempts, your voice croaks.

“D-Did you see him?”

He instantly nods, “I swear it didn’t look so bad, but he definitely needs treatment.”

“Hmm.”

Silence echoes again.

“Can I…” He bites his lip, mind in chaos from his pondering again, “Can I ask you something?”

“What is it?”

“You said you can’t lose him too…what did you mean by that?”

His eyes are hurriedly tracing all over your features, wondering if he said something out of line with the question.

“I’ve lost some very dear people to me over the years.” You mumble, “I guess you can say he’s all I have left now.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be.”

“No, I really am sorry. I stuck around with you guys, even when it was clear you didn’t want me around. I just–” He sighs, a light tint of pink to his cheeks, “I just wanted to be friends.” 

“Friends? Why would you want to be friends with us?”

You look at him bewildered through your wet eyes and he softly smiles.

“Because you two seemed like the only people that could have handled someone like me.”

There are a million questions dancing through your mind at that, but when you try to press forward on the issue, a young doctor steps out of Yoongi’s room.

On alert, you and Jimin instantly stand up, “Are you here for Mr. Min?”

Nodding, he smiles, “He’s doing okay, luckily there wasn’t any major blood loss but his shoulder had been dislocated. It should be fine within a couple of days.”

“Thank you so much.” Jimin says, the young doctor smiling before gesturing for them to enter inside.

You’re short a handful of words when you take a step inside the room, eyes landing right on the patch of blonde hair situated on a bed, his head severely bandaged as his arm is propped up in a cast. It only takes one turn of his head for you and Jimin both to completely crumble, soon endlessly sobbing and embracing each other much to Yoongi’s own amusement.

His lip quirks up, “What? You guys thought I was dead?”

“Don’t you dare even joke about that.” You spit out, suddenly realizing that you’ve been stuck to Jimin this whole entire time. Hastily shuffling away, you put some distance between you and him as you awkwardly cough. Jimin doesn’t seem to mind much, because in comparison to you, he doesn’t have any level of calmness regarding the current matter.

“Y-You…o-outside…ambulance…” Jimin mumbles out, tears flowing out of his eyes until he throws himself onto the man, more harsh sobs leaving him.

Fortunately, Jimin doesn’t lean against his casted arm, but Yoongi doesn’t bear the same sentiment when there’s a heavy dead weight being planted against his body.

“Yah! Park Jimin, get off of me!”

Jimin cutely shakes his head, arms twisted around Yoongi’s form as an amused chuckle escapes your lips. He seems to notice right away, eyes instantly brightening at the sound.

“Can we go back to studying?” Yoongi questions, sighing when Jimin latches onto his arm as he turns to meet your eyes, “Exams start next week and I don’t have time to stay injured.”

“Are you sure?” Your gaze is serious, knowing that his injury wasn’t one that he could simply brush off so easily.

“I’m going to spend the rest of my life working here anyways and I don’t plan on starting now.” Yoongi scrunches his nose in disgust, “Can you also get this idiot off of me already?”

He gestures to Jimin’s shrunken form and you fondly smile, peeling the man off of Yoongi who gladly exhales. Yoongi slips off the bed much to Jimin’s protests, grabbing his tucked away hoodie and backpack.

“Let’s go before they realize I’m gone.” Yoongi hurriedly whispers, taking a once over behind him before quickly following behind you. Exiting the room, the coast is luckily clear as you walk down the hallway, failing to realize a certain a pair of footsteps lingering behind but not quite meeting up with your steps.

You turn, frowning.

“I…I should get going…” Jimin’s hand is on the back of his head, gaze on the floor. You exchange a look with Yoongi, footsteps continuing to walk.

“Why? You’re not going to join us?”

He snaps his head back to see you and Yoongi standing in front of him.

There’s a giant joyous grin painted onto his features when he sees you reaching out your hand for him, a knowing look in your eyes as Yoongi amusedly smirks at the interaction. He instantly grabs on, his grip strong and firm when he follows closely behind you.

Although the hallways are filled with Yoongi’s protests and Jimin’s whines when the latter tries to offer to carry him the rest of the way, alongside your laughter when Yoongi says he regrets the decision he made with you just two seconds ago already, the three of you keep walking until the hall changes completely. Instead of being lined with lockers and students, it soon morphs into the familiar white walls, doors leading into different patient rooms as the soon to be doctors get down to work.

***

There’s only awe leftover in Chaeyoung’s bright eyes when the black-haired doctor keeps staring at his reflection, a new and softer expression brimming on his features.

“You’ve stayed friends this whole time…”

Jimin’s eyes flicker when she whispers, snapping him out of it as he grins.

“Welll, there was the whole transitioning over to medical school part, and then passing the exams to get our licences and then trying to get hired.” Jimin deeply exhales at that, brows furrowing, “Now that I think about it, I guess we have been through a lot.”

Chaeyoung smiles when Jimin lightly laughs, a hand raking through his black locks when there’s a knock on the door.

“I’ll get it!” Rushing over, she notices how clock’s handles have rapidly spun forward and that could only meet one thing.

“LET’S GET THIS SHOW ON THE ROAD!!” A voice exclaims, dramatically louder in comparison as Chaeyoung giggles and Jimin rolls his eyes.

“You know I have neighbors that are asleep at this hour, right?” Jimin deadpans, causing Jin to scoff and shake his head.

“Geez, you’re seriously no fun.” He turns to Namjoon, “Are we sure it’s okay to bring him along?”

Namjoon kindly smiles, “I think it would be a huge problem if we didn’t, he is the life of the party.”

Jimin grins, rushing over to hug his superior as Namjoon chuckles, awkwardly patting him on the back. That’s when Jimin catches a glimpse of blonde hair, seemingly standing with the group but being pushed to the back by a doctor that possibly wanted to first yell into the apartment.

“YOONGI~!!” Jimin exclaims, instantly hanging onto the man like a koala bear. Yoongi grunts, already pushing him off.

“Yah Park Jimin-ah! When will you realize that I can’t carry you?!” He brushes off his suit, now crinkled because of the man’s affectionate display.

“But you like my hugs don’t you~” Jimin simply replies, hugging the man that just retorts with an exhausted sigh. Right behind him, a man with orange hair giggles at the doting display and Jimin beams.

“Hoseok!”

He throws him into a hug and smiles, “It’s been a while!”

“It sure has, thanks for inviting me too.” Hoseok sheepishly smiles, surrounded by doctors and interns that he usually has no part with.

Yoongi adjusts his tie, mumbling underneath his breath, “If I’m going then you’re going.”

Hoseok chuckles at that and Namjoon checks his watch swiftly, altering his fellow doctors that they should be on their way out by now. With a nod, everyone leaves the apartment and Chaeyoung smiles fondly when Jimin doesn’t leave Yoongi’s side, constantly pestering him as the latter retorts that he’s annoying.

Her eyes suddenly widen, taking in the giant van parked outside.

“We’re all going in this?”

Namjoon hums, “We needed enough space for six people.”

Chaeyoung bits her lip, “Who’s driving though…?”

Jin smiles, “I am! No offense, but I don’t think we can trust Namjoon driving just yet.”

He hums, exchanging a look with Jin, “None taken. I rather we all get there in one piece.”

With that, the doors open and somehow everyone manages to squish inside. Jin takes the wheel as Yoongi sits next to him, directions on his phone already laid out when he begins to reverse out of the parking. Jimin and Chaeyoung take the middle seats along with Namjoon and Hoseok sharing the back, luckily being able to breathe with the sheer amount of people sitting in the car.

“Take a left.” Yoongi mutters, eyes focused on the dashboard with a frown, “Should I just leave it here?”

He gestures to his phone and Jin shakes his head right away, “It’ll fall down.”

As if on cue, Yoongi’s phone slips away from the dashboard and falls into his lap, causing Jin to burst out laughing.

Yoongi snorts, “Yeah, that wasn’t a good choice.”

“What happened? What happened?” Jimin butts his nose in right away, eagerly glancing between the two men but cramping up the space they have in the process even more.

“Yah! I need to drive, move back!” Jin exclaims, causing Jimin to whine. Chaeyoung reaches out, pulling him back to sit next to her so that the duo doesn’t feel so suffocated. Seeing Jimin pout, her eyes dart between him and a particular doctor sitting next to Jin, a soft smile on her features.

“Dr. Min.” He hums, eyes still glued to his phone, “Jimin was telling me you and Dr. L/N have been friends with him since college?”

Yoongi’s eyes perk up, his head turning around to see Jimin practically glowing with a huge smile and to her own surprise, he mimics it.

“What has he told you?”

“Just about how you all met during college and how your shoulder had gotten dislocated.”

“Ah, yeah.” Yoongi faintly touches his shoulder, as if he could still feel the throbbing pain from so long ago. He frowns at Jimin, a questioning glint in his eyes, “You didn’t tell her anything else?”

“I didn’t have time to!” Jimin throws his hands up in the air and Yoongi rolls his eyes.

“How did you get hired again Dr. Park?” Jin inquires, eyes on the road but a sharp provoking tone in his voice.

“Well of course Namjoon saw my credentials and knew I was the best fit.” His eyes dart over to the head doctor, who’s engaged in deep conversation with Hoseok until his name is mentioned. He blinks innocently, eyes glancing around.

“What? Hiring Jimin?” He nods and Namjoon hums, “He was the first one and I think it was just the two of us for a while actually. Though I was quite surprised when I found out that he was friends with Yoongi.”

“Surprised?” Jin asks, “Why?”

“Because me and Namjoon have known each other since middle school.” Yoongi retorts, causing a bunch of wide eyes to look in his direction.

“WHAT?!” Jimin screeches and Yoongi smugly nods.

“I’ve known Namjoon way before any of you did.” He points at finger at him, “7 years. With this guy.”

“Woah woah woah!” Jin exclaims, wanting to turn around but focused in on driving, “How come we didn’t know about this Namjoon-ah?!”

Namjoon shrugs, “It never came up.”

“Anyone else here know each other beforehand, speak up now or forever hold your peace!” Jimin practically yells, but no one comes forth with any more revelations and he sighs in relief.

“So Jimin was hired and then you hired Yoongi because you knew him…?” Chaeyoung quietly questions but Namjoon shakes his head.

“I hired Jimin first and then he had introduced me to Y/N and Yoongi after a year. Bumping into Yoongi was just a coincidence but I was more than happy to add him onto the team.”

Jin blinks, “Wait, you and Jimin were in the hospital alone for a year?”

Namjoon hums, fondly smiling at Jimin, “Those were the days…”

“That must have been so lonely.” Chaeyoung remarks and Jimin’s about to speak up, but Yoongi beats him to it.

“They probably were. I don’t think either me or Y/N got a chance to sit down when we were first hired because this guy was jumping all around the place.”

Jin snorts and Chaeyoung giggles, while Jimin’s loud protests flooding the car, “I got you both jobs at my hospital!! Of course I would be happy!!”

“Don’t get me started on his ‘I am definitely professional phase’.” Yoongi ignores him, tenderly talking to Chaeyoung as he continues, “Came to work one day with his shirt tucked in and his hair dyed black declaring that he was going to get an intern when Y/N brought Jin to the hospital.”

Chaeyoung laughs and Jimin exasperatedly whines in the background.

“A very good decision indeed.” Jin retorts.

Hoseok pipes up with a smile, “I can second that.”

Jin smiles but then a thought crosses him, “What about Taehyung then? What was it like when he was first hired?” He frowns, lips pouting, “I can’t really remember…”

Yoongi and Jimin both go silent, staring at each other with wide eyes. Even Namjoon shuffles in his seat.

Jin quickly glances around, “What?”

“You want to take this one?” Yoongi side-eyes Namjoon, who lets out a rough cough. Hoseok glances at the two of them confused.

“Was it that bad?”

“Well….”

“It was horrible. Like someone set off the fire alarm and forgot to turn it off.” Yoongi cuts off Namjoon right away. Jimin sighs, a hand fisting through his locks.

“I’ve never seen Y/N that angry.” He points to himself, looking at Chaeyoung, “Not even at me.”

“It couldn’t have been that bad…” Excluding Hoseok, Chaeyoung and Jin, everyone immediately tenses up, “…right?”

“Trust me. You’ve seen them fight around a bit and then turn into lovebirds.” Yoongi starts and Jimin finishes, eyes still wide in horror.

“You haven’t seen them since day one.”

***

Loud footsteps thump against the ground, hands fisted with crumbled papers as a white coat whizzes by.

“Y/N~!” Jimin immediately finds you, racing over. You stop in front of Yoongi’s office, dumping the contents into his hands.

“Here. Look these over and then pass them on to your colleague.” You grit out, causing Yoongi to raise an eyebrow when you cross your arms.

“You want me to give them to him?”

You sarcastically laugh, snatching them up, “On second thought – I’ll go chuck them at his head.”

Yoongi grabs onto your arm, dragging you back as he plucks the papers out of your arms.

“I’ll do it. You stay here.”

“What’s going on?” Jimin innocently questions, wondering why on earth you appeared to be fuming so much.

The words are taken away from your mouth when the long strides enter the hallway, arms behind his back and that stupid frame of glasses perched on top of the bridge of his nose.

“That’s strange. The last hospital I was in usually filed in their paperwork on time and had the decency to greet their fellow doctors.” He sighs, a small smirk on his lips when he glances in your direction, “I guess having manners isn’t translated over to every workplace.”

Your eye twitches and before you can do anything, Yoongi holds you back and Jimin races over to your office, a man with black hair seated and working on some reports.

“Jin~” Jimin sweetly says, causing him to look up confused, “Do you have a minute?”

“I’m kind of busy, I was writing up th-WOAH!”

Jimin doesn’t even wait for a proper reply when he’s grabbing onto his hands, leading him back to the scene when your face seems a couple shades redder and Dr. Kim has a challenging stare heavily rooted in his eyes.

“Tell Dr. L/N you have a question and go.” Jimin quickly whispers to him. Jin frowns, darting his eyes around.

“What, why?”

“Just go.” Jimin whispers, this time harsher much to Jin’s surprise, before turning around with a huge smile on his features. “Dr. Kim~! How have you been on this fine morning?”

The doctor narrows his eyes, giving him a once over before turning his head to face you and Yoongi. Much to his own dismay, you’ve long left with your intern and there’s only Yoongi left, who stares at Dr. Kim with an equally annoyed expression.

“You’re new here, so you probably don’t know how things work,” Yoongi steps forward, “But we work as a team and treat each other as valuable members.”

“Including Y/N.” Jimin mumbles, standing next to Yoongi with a very uncertain look on his features. The doctor with the glasses simply chuckles, eyes darting between them.

“As long as I get paid at the end of the day, I frankly don’t care.” He smiles and turns, walking away from the doctors when one of them drops his jaw down.

“What the heck was that?!” Jimin exclaims, waving his arms up and down as he turns to Yoongi. He sighs, eyes concerned as the doctor’s backside slowly decreases until he disappears into his office.

“I don’t know…but I don’t like it. Namjoon’s made some interesting hiring decisions this time around.”

Jimin hums, Yoongi turning to him with serious eyes, “Keep an eye on him and Y/N. If he says anything to her, give him a piece of our mind.”

With one mutual exchange of their eyes, the doctors part ways.

***

Hoseok lowly whistles when the car’s gone silent and Chaeyoung’s expression has completely fallen.

“So if you didn’t drag me over in time, Y/N would have probably murdered Taehyung by then.”

“Pretty much.” Yoongi simply replies to Jin.

He frowns, “I guess I should have just trusted Jimin back then…”

“That’s right!!” Jimin yells from the back, causing Jin to sigh. Chaeyoung glances at the two curiously.

“What happened then?”

“More fighting. We broke it up a couple of times and I think Namjoon had to step in once.” Yoongi squints his eyes, looking over at him, “But he told them that they needed to accept each other to work together or something like that and Y/N freaked out.”

“Ooh right!” Jimin quickly retorts, “Y/N nearly quit at that point.”

“So Namjoon talked to her privately and convinced her to stay by just maintaining some distance. The same goes for Taehyung too.”

“It was so odd.” Namjoon chuckles, shaking his head and glancing at Chaeyoung’s wide eyes, “Together they were terrible but separately, they were so amazing at their jobs.”

There’s a collective hum that resonates through the car before it stops, the car coming to a pause and Jin whirling around suddenly in his seat.

“Finally! It’s so hard driving with you guys talking behind me so much!” He exclaims, “Also, we’re here by the way.”

“Speaking of the devils.” Yoongi smiles, staring out at the broad old brown building as everyone begins to pool out of the car. Suddenly a flashing black Mercedes-Benzes pulls up right behind them, abruptly coming to a stop. A young girl hurriedly steps out from the passenger seat, bright pink flowers laced into her hair and the ends of a long flowing salmon coloured dress bunched up into her hands.

“Sorry we’re late! There was a lot of traffic on the road!”

Jimin grins when the second car door opens up, a young man dressed in a black suit and a bouquet of roses held tightly in his arms stepping out, eyes trained on locking his car. Once he turns around though, the older individual is soon jumping on top of him.

“JUNGKOOKIEEEEEEE~”

Jungkook nearly drops the roses, but thankfully a wave of pink flashes by and catches them before they land onto the ground. He shoots her a relieved smile, being too occupied with the hazard of getting his doctor counterpart off of him.

Jin flicks Jimin’s forehead in dismay, causing him to release Jungkook with a pout. That’s when Jin moves closer to him, arms wide open as he takes a step forward.

“JK!”

“Jin!” Jungkook quickly envelopes his arms around him, turning to smile at Chaeyoung who kindly waves at him. Namjoon reaches over, patting him on the back as Yoongi gives him a content nod.

“Oh!” Jungkook gets too caught in the moment of reuniting that when he turns over to her, there’s a shy smile on his lips. Reaches his hand out, she instantly grabs onto it and he gestures for her to stand right by his side.

“You probably don’t know anyone here…”

“But we certainly know about you.” Chaeyoung warmly smiles, putting a friendly arm around her shoulders, “My name is Chaeyoung and I’m Jimin’s girlfriend.”

The girl’s eyes widen, “I’m Jin, Y/N’s old intern and now a doctor at the hospital. Me and Jungkook were hired together.”

She nods, blinking as if trying to grasp onto all the new information when Chaeyoung points over to the remaining members, “That’s Yoongi and Namjoon, they’re also doctors at the hospital.”

When her eyes land on Hoseok in confusion, he darts his hand out right away, “I’m Hoseok and I’m with Yoongi, but I’m not a doctor even though I’m friends with a lot of them.”

She takes his hand with a giggle, “I know how you feel.”

Jungkook’s eyes are beaming at the comfortable atmosphere and Jimin loops an arm around him.

“So~ you and Jungkook~~?”

Jungkook’s gaze timidly falls down to the ground but she smiles, nodding at his question, “I’m assuming all of you would know that we’re together.”

“What do you mean?”

She laughs, hand hovering over her mouth as her eyes lock onto Jungkook’s, “Well you did spy on us during our first couple of dates. “

Jimin’s jaw drops and Jungkook stifles back a laugh.

“HOW DO YOU KNOW ABOUT THAT?!”

“I told her Hyung,” Jungkook takes his arm off his shoulders, “and it wasn’t like any of you were being secretive about it.”

Jimin pouts at him, turning to her, “He’s so mean sometimes, isn’t he?”

Chaeyoung leans forward, “That’s because you can be a real handful at times.”

Everyone laughs at that, Jin’s loud laughter overruling them when Jimin places a heart on his hand like he’s been betrayed.

“CHAE!!”

She shrugs, causing Jungkook and his girlfriend to smile when she sends them a fond look. As Chaeyoung consoles a whining Jimin, Namjoon turns to all of them with his eyes glued to his watch.

“We have to head inside now!” The group breaks up and begins to shuffle over to the building. Upon arrival, there’s a hoard of people residing inside, loud chattering echoing as some move to get themselves seated while others hold drinks and converse with each other. An array of rose pink and lilac flowers are positioned at the front of the milky carpet, several white chairs surrounding the guests.

“Wow.” Jungkook whispers, doe eyes only growing wider the more he takes in the scenery.

“They really outdid themselves!” Jin exclaims, vision straying over to the buffet tables.

As Yoongi hums, the man next to him bursts out in sobs.

“IT’S SO BEAUTIFUL!” Chaeyoung pats him on the shoulder, his cries increasing by the second. The girl that has her arm wrapped around Jungkook’s frowns, leaning closer to him in a low whisper.

“Is he always like this?”

Jungkook hums, “You eventually get used to it.”

“To think this day has finally come.” Namjoon chuckles, glancing at Jimin and Yoongi, “We probably couldn’t have predicted this.”

Yoongi smirks, “I kind of did.”

“But I didn’t!” Jimin starts wailing loudly, drawing nearby onlookers to him. His wails only increase, causing Yoongi to grimace and Jin to roll his eyes. Jungkook covers his ears and then opts out to covering his girlfriend’s ears, who can only look at his mentor with more and more bizarre confusion.

There’s suddenly a tug of the curtains behind them, unraveling rapidly when Jimin pipes down and everyone turns around in confusion. A blur of white passes by, standing right before the man with her hands on her hips.

“Should I even be proud I knew that was Jimin?” You sarcastically retort, but suddenly there’s gasps flooding the room, all eyes on you.

“Y/N!!” Jimin yells, running up to you with sparkles in his. He quickly engulfs you into a hug, causing a bundle of laughs to cascade out.

“Good to see you guys finally made it.”

“We wouldn’t miss it for anything.” Chaeyoung warmly smiles, placing a hand on your shoulder as you beam.

“You look beautiful Y/N.” Namjoon remarks, causing a sincere smile to spread onto your features.

“She does.”

Everyone turns to face the young man that walks up next to your side, a black suit and tie adorned instead of his white coat. His brown hair is parted to the side, a large pair of dark shades resting on his nose.

He encircles your waist with his arm, “After all, she is getting married to me.”

You exhale playfully, “I guess it’s too early to back out now.”

He leans closer to your ear, lowly whispering.

“If you do, I’ll just have to run and catch you again.”

As your roll your eyes, there’s a loud squeal that erupts from the corner. You look up to see Jungkook’s girlfriend hurriedly covering her mouth with her hands, wide eyes bouncing between the two of you.

“Sorry!” She quickly says, hands fidgeting as Jungkook stifles a laugh right next to her. A sweet smile tugs on your lips.

“Wait a minute!” Jin suddenly shouts, eyeing the two of you down before he points to Taehyung, “What are you doing here? Aren’t you supposed to see the bride during the wedding?”

You let out a low sigh, already well prepared for what Taehyung was going to say.

He taps the frame of his sunglasses, “Technically I currently can’t see her.”

“Oh pshhh.” Jimin retorts, “I bet you can see Y/N and you’re just trying to hog her all to yourself.”

Taehyung smirks, “Well I can’t say that last one isn’t true.”

Before Jungkook’s girlfriend can have a heart attack from the display, it’s announced that the preparations are complete and that the groom take his place at the front. Taehyung swoops in to plant a quick kiss on your cheek before walking away, relief crossing his features when he can finally yank the giant pair of sunglasses off his face and into some discarded corner.

Soon everyone begins to take their individuals places – Namjoon, Yoongi, Hoseok, Jin, Chaeyoung, Jungkook and his girlfriend sit right in the front row among all the guests, which includes a mix of Taehyung’s and your own distant relatives. Your aunt decides to take the seat next to Namjoon, eyes watching you with a tender smile when you loop your arm around Jimin’s.

He cheekily grins, “Shall we?”

With a playful smile, you nod. The faint tune is played in the background, a bouquet tightly clutched within your hands. There are rows and rows of eyes glued to you as your dress glides against the silky carpet, but your breath is immediately stolen when your eyes come into contact with Taehyung’s – whose eyes are as widest as you ever seen them.

He’s seen you in white before, working hurriedly by his side as the long hours churned out, hair falling delicately on the side of your face when you’re assisting patients or writing up reports.

But he’s yet to have the opportunity to see you like this – adorned in the pure colour with a ray of joy circling around you, ready to become his and his only until the inevitable end.

It’s everything he’s ever wished for and when you pause right in front of him, glancing at Jimin with a tender smile that he shares before turning to him, expectant yet nervous eyes finding his right away, he can’t wait to spend the rest of his life with you by his side.

The man on your side begins to sprout out the words that will forever bind you together and the entire time, your eyes stay with Taehyung’s. You wonder if it’s because he’s not wearing his glasses, or how he looks so extremely dashing in his suit, or maybe how his eyes are looking at you as if you were some type of goddess that had just descended down. Either way you can see it and feel it, how everything that has lead up to this one moment flashes before your eyes, how through all the ups and downs, you knew at the end of the day, you’ll be holding his hand with yours.

You can hear the faint giggles of a boy and a girl underneath a mountain of cheery blossoms, you can hear the sobs of a girl parting away from her friend, leaving him behind for what felt like the last time. You can then hear the angry footsteps echoing against the white walls, you can hear the sharp arguments ensuring and you can hear the pure resentment, the pure hatred darkly clouding the air.

And now all you can hear is a voice mumbling that he can kiss you, the same boy that had caused so much joy for you and the same man that had caused so much trouble for you, the same person whose grasping onto your hand like he never wants to let it go, looking at you like you’re his entire world.

When he leans in, so do you, not hearing the loud rapturous sounds of cheers behind you, not hearing the whistles coming from a certain section that contains your shared friends. You don’t hear anything until Taehyung parts from you, close enough to whisper words that have you turning utterly red.

“You’re mine now.” When he catches sight of you blushing, he leans in to kiss you again and you can hear someone gasp, falling into the arms of her boyfriend from the sight.

“So possessive.” You mumble, but you rest your head against his chest as he gently holds you, a radiating smile that doesn’t seem to be disappearing from you anytime soon.

From a distance away, a pair of eyes warmly watches the two of you adoringly, recalling the time he had stumbled into a lecture hall and decided to sit next to you. His memories remember the faint laughter of three kids, leaving the rigorous hours of studying and rushing into the world of adulthood, one of them now making her way to her own path of happiness.

When a lone tear escapes and rolls down his cheek, Chaeyoung reaches out and gently swipes it away, causing him to faintly smile at her when she gives him a knowing look.

[cliquestitsandicks]

Tracking Kat

Episode 1: Kat is mourning the end of her relationship with Adena. It has been 5 weeks since the breakup in Paris. She's still looking at old pictures of them and posted one. She still hasn't sent Adena's equipment to her, even though Adena has been texting her asking for it. By the end of the episode, she's admitted to (in order) Alex, Patrick, and Jane & Sutton that she is not okay. She is still sad about the end of her relationship. Alex tells her "you're so hard on yourself. You got your heart broken. There's no expiration date on heartbreak. You move on when you're ready to move on and when you *are* ready, you will find someone amazing. Someone who will never leave." Then Patrick is an entitled, invasive dick. She told her girls she wasn't ready for it to be real yet and that's why she hadn't told them... but she broke down in front of them. She'd finally accepted it was over. End of the episode, she makes an instagram post exposing her vulnerability to the world and packs up Adena's things for good.

Episode 2: Kat injects Jane for fertility treatment. She is very familiar with Jane's reproductive system at this point - best friends. She learns the Wild Susan, a club Adena took her to that became a safe space she frequents and which happens to be 1 of only TWO lesbian bars in the city, is closing. She learns the only reason it's happening is because developers want to gentrify the neighborhood. We learn Kat has a lawyer (not sure how that may come up later) that she met through the #BeReal campaign. Anyway, Kat throws a queer prom as a fundraiser to help save the Wild Susan. It ultimately fails because $42,000 in one night from poor people is a bit much. But it was a valiant effort and, as Kat learns, the gentrifiers were well aware of its impossibility. This episode is leading up to her political career. "I've been so into my feelings lately, it feels really good to challenge my energy into something that really matters". I am so proud of Kat. In Season 1, I would have worried she was avoiding her feelings, but the writers made a big deal of showing she's done the exact opposite of that in the prior episode.

Episode 3: Kat has been researching councilman Reynolds and he's a total piece of shit - helping gentrifiers, cutting funding to parks, and voting against paid maternity leave. She's fired up. Our girl is P A S S I O N A T E & informed! We meet the councilwoman for whom she plans to volunteer and her campaign manager, Tia. Tia's a tiny, bubbly boss with natural hair and a bright smile and we see Kat brighten up. We later learn she and Kat have more in common, both being NYU grads (actually overlapping while there) and both brilliant. Tia, however, is not from a wealthy and connected background. In their initial meeting, Kat tells Tia "I'm just looking for something to channel my rage and depression". Kat enlists her besties to help get the councilwoman to unseat problematic Reynolds. Sutton clearly sees something between Kat and Tia because she does a friend's background check (checking the social media) and tells Kat she looks very single to which Kat responds "it really doesn't matter because I'm still getting over Adena" and Jane seems skeptical of Kat's protestations with her silent smirk. We learn Kat has really soft lips. Kat is the voice of reason for Alex, being the first one to acknowledge the hypersexual "dangerous" Black man depiction that will likely be projected onto him if he admits he is the man in his friend's story. Then we see her naturally command the crowd at the rally. Again, I am so proud of Kat. She isn't holding back when she knows she should speak up. She's taking control of her narrative. She's fighting for what's right in a constructive manner. And now Tia, who has way more experience with this than Kat, is recommending she run for office.

Episode 4: We start the episode with Kat describing what would be her district and job description to her best friends. She's looking excited about the potential to do something that matters and really help people. In her conversation with the Toby (?. don't know, don't care), we get to see more of Tia being supportive of Kat and Kat being confronted with whether she's motivated to actually run or just wants someone to beat Reynolds. We learn Kat had an abortion in 2013 when she was 20 AS IS HER GOTDAMN RIGHT BECAUSE IT'S HER BODY, but it's something she's felt some sort of shame/concern over seeing as nobody close to her knew about it. Then, and this is so great, after telling her friends she has the conversation with Tia. Tia shares that she's had one as well and completely understands not wanting it to be public knowledge, but in sharing her experience educates Kat on yet another way vulnerable people are having their rights stripped, this time through manipulation and "crisis centers" that shouldn't exist. Tia remains supportive and doesn't pressure Kat at all with her decision. "I am by your side if they come for you, but you gotta do what's right for you". When we get that great speech from Jacqueline we see Kat being moved my the statement that you'll never know what you're capable of if you don't take a leap faith to face challenges that frighten you, then you'll never know what you're capable of. [i'd like to pause right now to say Jacqueline is fucking wonderful and i love her like my white auntie. also Sutton needed to hear that again just as much as Kat and i really appreciate this entire moment.] When Kat leaves Jacqueline's celebration, she passes by one of those "crisis centers" Tia told her about and decides to use her voice to help others. "I like to think of myself as a pretty strong, empowered, forward-thinking, open-minded woman. But, up until now, I haven't been able to talk about my abortion. If me putting myself out there helps even one woman to feel less alone, less ashamed, and less guilty then it's worth it." And just like us, dear Tia is blown away. She actually exhales a breath she didn't know she was holding and biiiiiiiitch (!!!! excitedly). and then they're dancing! This is the episode, upon rewatch, when i recognize how often Tia touches Kat unnecessarily.

Episode 5: Kat's entire recap includes Tia, ending with Sutton saying "she seems to be very single". Her very first scene, Tia is complimenting her walking out of some campaigning event we later learn was a Town Hall. Can we just talk about Kat's blazer for a second? First of all, i want it. Second, how did they find something so perfectly her? It's colorful but still semi-professional, fun, but still about her business. Heart-eye inducing. ok. So the next time we see Kat, she and Tia (whose last name they finally mention as Clayton) are reviewing campaign platform and doing debate prep at Kat's apartment. Tia's complimenting Kat almost continuously at this point. Clearly she's impressed, borderline gushing. and Kat tries to brush it off. Tia's not letting her. And there's this moment when Tia forces herself to break eye contact with her (around 5:40 of the episode). The show tells us Kat still hasn't dated since Adena, but Sutton brings up the "stupid smile" she gets whenever Tia's mentioned. She's making better decisions than Patrick and her being compared to Patrick is lowkey happening a lot. I'm starting to wonder if they're setting up Kat taking over digital if she doesn't win the campaign. Ok, the song choice as they pan to Kat and Tia... "I never normally check my phone 10 times in a minute. I'm not the girl to be kept on hold 10 miles from the finish." Again, Tia is very touchy with Kat, never anything inappropriate of course, but the hand is always on the back or the arm. and their interaction is just.. lovely. I squeal. it's so cute. they're so comfortable. Kat invites Tia to the dinner BEFORE (i got the timing on that mixed up before) Tia says she's "a boring straight girl" [the test determined that was a LIE... nah, my good sis Tia is dealing with some internalized homophobia which is no joking matter, but we don't learn that until the next episode]. Apparently, Kat can cook now? So she just liked Adena's food better i guess? idk... anyway. I get why some of the things Tia said can be taken as flirting, but i still believe that you accept what someone says is their sexuality until they say otherwise. yes, that's even when they're saying things like "when i see what i want, i go for it" and "Annndd she can cook. it's hot" and looking at you like that. Kat telling Jane to apologize because he's her boss and she got suuuper disrespectful and would absolutely deserve getting fired makes me proud. She's the mature friend now. She's the one with a level head on her shoulders. Kat finally makes her feelings known to Tia, but this is after Tia has already stated she's straight. Tia reiterates that this is a professional relationship and apologizes for Kat getting the wrong idea. I'm reminded of when Alex Danvers told Maggie Sawyer she was into her and she was rejected... but in that example i was floored and heartbroken for Alex because ugh, i just didn't see that coming. With this, however, it felt like Tia was clear in her words even if it shocked the hell out of me what the words were. So i didn't feel heartbroken for Kat. I thought... tbh... she brought it on herself for refusing to respect Tia's "no", however soft it was. But the writers did let us know it wasn't over with the music selection... Kat looking at "You and Tia make a great team :)" as "I'll go to war for you" plays.

Episode 6: All the emails have been released and Kat has no worries at all about that because she's a professional. And we get to see her be a boss addressing the entire group. Patrick isn't there this episode (YAY for our sanity!) and i think Kat being a boss so often when Patrick isn't around is intentional. When we see Tia, she says last night is forgotten but she thinks it's a bad idea to remain Kat's campaign manager... which is clearly a hard rejection. One can argue that it's too harsh for someone merely admitting they were into you. But it's just as easy to argue that it's appropriate after telling someone, very clearly, that you are not into them romantically and them ignoring that and saying that you were flirting with them on this date they never called a date before you were already there?? so i'm not mad at it. At the end of the episode, we find out that Tia was rejecting herself, not Kat. Turns out, Ms. Tia Clayton has known she's attracted to women since she was in high school, but she "didn't want to want it". Tia is so TINY AND ANXIOUS ABOUT HER SEXUALITY AND MANY OF US HAVE BEEN THERE. But... and i say this in jest... for someone who is really trying not to be out in the open with her gay, she sure was comfortable kissing Kat all outdoors for anyone to see. My good sis is smitten. I'm excited for the story. Again with the music during their scenes though... "I cannot fallll in love with youuuuu. I cannot feeeeel this way so soon, so soon." Also, my girlfriend and I have watched the gifset of the kiss over the phone and swooned (we live in different states for now). This episode, we also got the flashbacks (i missed Lauren so much). Kat's got red streaks in her hair, is a friend to strangers, has regrettable sex with men who taste like pickles, and is cute as a button. She also called Jacqueline "Mama Jackie" and that's it; that's her name now.

[thedeaditeslayer]

Bruce Campbell Calls Hosting ‘Ripley’s Believe It Or Not’ A ‘No-Brainer,’ Pans Hollywood’s Lack Of Originality.

This interview includes a hint of more “Evil Dead” but for what we would like you to consider is to take it with a grain of salt. The interview covers various topics but mostly Ripley’s Believe it or Not.

Over the course of his storied career, actor Bruce Campbell has brought to life many memorable, colorful characters. As the definitive character-actor-trapped-in-a-leading-man’s-body, he’s portrayed Elvis in the campy Bubba Ho-Tep, Ronald Reagan in Fargo, Sam Axe in Burn Notice, and is, perhaps, best known as the Deadite-killing Ash Williams in Sam Raimi’s Evil Dead franchise.

As the Travel Channel prepares to relaunch Ripley’s Believe It Or Not!, Campbell finds himself in the role of host, introducing us to a fresh round of the spectacular and amazing. Over the course of 10 episodes, he’ll invite viewers on a journey to explore the lives of people capable of incredible things.

“Shooting this iconic series in the Ripley’s warehouse was actually unbelievable,” said Campbell. “I was blown away by the treasures that unveil a fascinating time capsule into the past and present. Fans are not going to be disappointed when they see the scope of wonderful and weird stories we reveal every week.”

Bruce Campbell was groovy enough to get on the phone with me and talk about his new gig with the Ripley’s relaunch, the fates of some of his iconic characters, and the lack of originality in Hollywood — all with the grace to forgive my fanboying.

Kevin Tall: Hey Bruce! I appreciate you taking some time to talk to me.

Bruce Campbell: I happened to be in the neighborhood so I thought I’d step in.

KT: I usually make an effort to at least pretend to be professional but I’m not sure I’m going to pull it off today.

BC: That’s exactly right.

KT: I do want to say it’s an honor to talk to you and I promise I’ll do my best to keep my inner fanboy in check.

BC: Very good.

KT: Can I call you ‘El Jefe’?

BC: Whatever you’d like, sir.

KT: Groovy. Alright. So, coming soon to a cable network near you, you’re hosting the newest incarnation of ‘Ripley’s Believe It Or Not!’ on the Travel Channel. How did you come to be attached to the project?

BC: Things come across the old desk, you know, and you evaluate them. And this was a no-brainer. I still have the Ripley’s book, the red cloth-covered book with those strange illustrations of people doing crazy stuff inside. As a kid, I had it on a shelf so I’m like, ‘Yeah I know Ripley’s.’

And I haven’t done a show like this in a while; I’ve hosted stuff. Back in Detroit, I got my Screen Actor’s Guild card doing training films for industrials, for Chrysler, and some of the other companies. Now I’m back doing it again, so here I am… I guess, showing people, in this case, it’s not about the cross-section of a Chrysler car seat but people doing extraordinary things.

KT: Ah, cool. Part of me thought this revival of Ripley’s could have just been a thinly-veiled attempt at revenge on Dean Cain for stealing the television role of Superman out from under your chin in the 90s.

BC: No, no revenge necessary on Mr. Cain. I see him at conventions all the time.

KT: While I do feel you have the superior jawline, I was a huge fan of ‘The Adventures of Brisco County Jr.’ There have been several Supermen but there was only one Brisco County. Er, two, if you count his dad.

BC: Anyone can play Superman.

KT: Would you ever consider reprising the role of Brisco?

BC: Brisco would be fine. You could do Brisco Rides Again. He started as a lawyer and then someone has to get killed. I’ll put the spurs back on, sure.

KT: So I got to see a screener of the first episode of Ripley’s. I have an idea if you’re open to suggestion.

BC: OK.

KT: Do a follow up in which you balance on a slack line while swallowing a sword and someone throws playing cards at you from a ladder balanced on someone else’s chin.

BC: [Laughs] I think you’ve got it. I think you should work for the Travel Channel.

KT: So your parts were shot on location at the Ripley’s warehouse in Orlando.

BC: Yes, yes, we shot at THE warehouse.

KT: Did you get to see anything amazing or… unbelievable?

BC: You know, the warehouse, where would you start? It is the closest we have to one of those Indiana Jones-type warehouses. It’s probably the most richly appointed warehouses in the world, I would say. They’ve collected for a hundred years. I can’t think of anyone else, maybe the Smithsonian, but Ripley’s is probably a close second. Ripley’s might have more stuff than the Smithsonian, that would be a fun one to test.

KT: Which do you think would have more body parts?

BC: Well, Ripley’s would have more body parts.

KT: OK, but the Smithsonian does have John Dillinger’s, well, you know.

BC: So the rumor goes.

KT: As they say. So, speaking of ‘Believe It or Not!,’ I still can’t believe you retired iconic character, Ash Williams. Are you sticking to that? No way I can talk you into reconsidering?

BC: Yeah, I’m sticking to that; it gets easier every year.

KT: [Laughs] Fair enough.

BC: I’m still doing video games, I’m doing voices for Ash. I’m just not going to grovel in the blood anymore.

KT: I think that’s fair. It’s not retiring the character, just a retirement plan.

BC: I’m retiring from certain types of roles, ones that require looking at tennis balls on sticks.

KT: I’m excited to see you’ve got the paperback for ‘Hail to the Chin’ coming out; I was a big fan of ‘If Chins Could Kill.’ Although when you were teasing that on social media, I think a couple of fans interpreted that as a little bit of foreshadowing of a new gig for Ash.

BC: That’s fine. Fans are always going to do that. Everyone’s a genius, everyone’s got opinions and the internet fans the flames. No, it’s all good. They’re going to see different versions, they’re going to be seeing more ‘Evil Dead,’ too. We’re not done with the ‘Evil Dead’ saga, more stories to tell.

KT: Do you think Fede Alvarez might return?

BC: I don’t know, Fede’s a big Hollywood director now. I don’t know if Fede needs this. We’ll have to see.

KT: Everyone needs a passion project.

BC: Fede had it. Fede came and pitched his version of ‘Evil Dead.’

KT: Any juicy tidbits you want to tease from the ‘Requiem For Ash’ Edition?

BC: It’s a fuller explanation of the birth, life, and death of ‘Ash vs. Evil Dead’ and then the ultimate retirement of that character. It’s a little more of an essay approach, it’s a little more esoteric.

KT: Psychologically, what is it about Ash Williams that inspires such devotion from fans?

BC: Because he is the fans, the fans are him. Ash has no skills, Ash doesn’t come from another planet, he comes from Michigan. He’s the guy you want in the foxhole, but he probably got low SAT scores. So people watching him, I think they root for him because they’re like, ‘Damn, that’s like my neighbor. That’s like if my neighbor decided to save the world from evil.’ Kind of like that. That’s how I look at it and that’s how we played it. That’s why it was worth bringing the guy back 48 years later to try it again… He’s the ultimate anti-hero, anti in that he can’t even get out of bed, you know?

KT: He comes across as an oafish, ill-mannered lout as well.

BC: Of course, but you know what? He was written in an ancient book, so there’s more to him than just the trailer park guy. That’s what was fun exploring.

KT: The prophecy of the ultimate average guy.

BC: Exactly.

KT: Got it. You’ve had a number of memorable, colorful roles over the years, from Ash to Brisco, Autolycus to Sam Axe, even a fictionalized version of yourself in ‘My Name Is Bruce’ (shout out to Guan Di, the patron saint of bean curd). Is there one, in particular, you’ve enjoyed playing the most, above all others?

BC: Elvis was pretty fun. I think most American males would have enjoyed playing that part. Playing President Reagan on ‘Fargo’ was fun, I used to imitate him with my buddy, John Cameron, who produced that show. In the ’80s we were both subjected to endless Reagan on television. That was fun.

KT: Have you been in that situation professionally, where you’ve gotten kind of a lousy role on a great show?

BC: Well, I’m better at saying no to stuff now, so hopefully I won’t find myself in that situation nearly as much.

KT: Circling back to Elvis, there was talk of a ‘Bubba Ho-Tep’ follow-up years ago. What are the chances of that coming together?

BC: Zero. I’ve retired that character as well. I’ve notified Don Coscarelli and Joe Lansdale. You know, it’s Don Coscarelli’s project, he’s more than welcome to forge ahead. We couldn’t crack the script the way I saw it and we were going to come to loggerheads. I didn’t want to do that, so I backed out because I know now if the script isn’t where it needs to be, the movie will not get there either.

KT: Marlon Brando advised a young(er) Johnny Depp to play Hamlet before he got too old for the role. Are there any of those iconic types of roles you’d like to tackle?

BC: Of iconic people?

KT: Yeah. Just those classic roles from that sort of timeless production, like ‘Hamlet.’

BC: No. No, I don’t, because I like original stuff. I mean, if we’re going to remake something, let’s remake our own stuff. That’s the case with ‘Bubba Ho-Tep.’ It won’t be as good and people will only remember that you blew it on the second try.

KT: So the legacy of the project would be one of failure.

BC: You have to have original stuff out there to make up for the movies that have a seven, eight, and nine after them.

KT: The old maxim is that there is such a thing as too much of a good thing.

BC: Yes, except ‘Ripley’s Believe It or Not!’ There’s never too much of that.

KT: [Laughs] Well played, fair enough. Fan question: Who would win in a left-handed arm wrestling match, Ash Williams or Sam Axe?

BC: I don’t do those questions, because they’re hypothetical and impossible to answer.

KT: Can you hook me up with a six-pack of Ash’s favorite beer, Shemp’s?

BC: No, because it’s fake.

KT: Well, Bruce, I came here to ask questions and kick ass, and I’m all out of questions.

BC: Let’s go kick ass!

KT: Again, thanks so much for taking some time to talk with me and putting up with my silliness and unending admiration.

BC: Yeah, my friend. All good. Thank you, sir. Have a good day.

KT: Thanks, Bruce!

BC: Cheers.

[spideyxchelle]

When Peter Met Michelle

the when harry met sally au 

  Betty looked right past Michelle. Her words trailed off. She raised her eyebrow, “Elizabeth, what are you looking at?”

Her best friend tilted her head, “There is someone looking at you in the romance section.” Michelle turned over her shoulder scanned the little bookshop for the offending watcher. She spotted a rather short man not-so-subtly hiding behind a book with a rather busty damsel draped in the arms of a half-naked sailor. She could not properly make out his face without her glasses. She squinted. Still, his eyes did not ring any bells.

Michelle turned to Betty, “Do you know him?”

She shook her head, “Nope. I’d remember that face. He’s cute.”

Michelle rolled her eyes, “You think every crusty white boy is cute.”

Betty sighed, “I know. It’s my greatest weakness.” Her friend snapped to attention, her spine straightening and she hissed, “Crusty white boy is coming over here.”

Her back prickled. Michelle was not in the mood to be harassed by some man she had never met. She had other things she needed to accomplish that would very certainly get derailed if romance-section-guy made her life difficult. Michelle grabbed the sleeve of Betty’s shirt, and implored her, “We should go.”

“Michelle?” A third voice she had not heard in nearly three years hoped tentatively.

She dropped Betty’s sleeve. In all the bookshops, in all of New York, Peter Parker had to walk into her favorite one. “Peter,” she breathed.

At thirty, he still managed to retain some boyish charm to his looks. His hair was not receding and the wrinkles around the corners of his mouth and eyes looked more like markers of smiles than markers of age. All in all, he had aged well.

Betty cleared her throat.

Michelle ducked her head and cursed, “Shit. Sorry. Betty this is, uh, Peter Parker. Peter Parker this is Betty Bryant. We both work together at—”

“The Daily Bugle,” Peter finished for her. He flushed, “Sorry, that was rude. I read your article last year on the bathroom bill, Miss Bryant. It was really something.”

Michelle saw Betty completely melt into mush. Her best friend was many things—an ace reporter, an excellent cook and a horrible sap around moderately attractive men. She waved him off and giggled, “Oh please.”

“Really,” he grinned. “It was great. Really made me think.”

She took a half-assed curtsey, “Well, thank you.”

Michelle interjected, trying to move the conversation into duller and less intimate conversation, “How’s married life, Peter?”

His smile deepened into a frown. Hanging limply off of his wrist was a plastic bag from the bookstore, and he pulled a recent purchase free. Peter flashed the title. It read: Surviving Separation and Divorce.

A tidal wave of shame flooded her system and drowned whatever sarcastic remark she was cooking up on the off chance he decided to be the same infuriating person she had met years before. Now, she felt like the asshole.

Betty sympathetically cooed, “I’m so sorry.”

Peter shrugged, “It happens.”

“What happened?” Betty indelicately asked. Michelle groaned. Her friend flushed a deep red and stuttered, “Oh shit. I’m so…wow…that was….shit, just ignore me. I’m going to…” Betty pointed behind herself and stepped away slowly as her mouth continued to run, “…go, I think. Nice to meet you. Sorry about your divorce. Oh. Shit. There I go, again.”

“Betty,” Michelle called after her friend who was ducking out of the little book shop. “Betty, where are you going?”

“Anywhere else,” she said.

The front door of the shop swung shut and the little bell hanging over the door tolled. Michelle dropped her head and sighed. Peter chuckled. Michelle looked up, “What?”

He scratched the back of his neck and smiled graciously, “Nothing. That was just—”

“—a lot,” Michelle agreed. “Yeah, I’m sorry about that. I don’t think she meant to offend you. She’s a reporter. Asking questions is a reflex.”

He slipped his book back in the translucent plastic bag. Michelle loathed the stretch of quiet that webbed between the two of them, connecting them in the most uncomfortable manner. She feigned a stretch, “Well, I should probably—”

Peter swiftly cut her off with a question, “Do you want to get some coffee?”  

Michelle felt her eyebrow raise so high it hid in the curls swept all over her face in a messy fashion. She cleared her throat, “Excuse me?”

Peter swung the bag between his thumb and forefinger anxiously, “Just, uh, I feel like I owe you an apology. And a coffee.”

She should have said no. She should have learned from the two experiences she had with Peter Parker. She should have wished him well on his divorce and gone on her merry way. She knew she should have, but she couldn’t help herself from nodding, “Yeah, alright.”

Coffee turned into lunch. Lunch turned into a mid-afternoon stroll through the crowded New York streets, ducking strings of tourists, while Peter did his best impression of Tony Stark.

Michelle laughed. It was the kind that ached from belly to her toes. Her entire body sparkled. She had not laughed so hard in years. Perhaps, she thought, since before Harry Osborn had punched a hole through her life and left the empty bits a hollow cave.

She wiped laughter tears from the corners of her eyes, “God, I haven’t laughed like this in years.”

Peter nudged her arm with his elbow, “You should laugh more. You have a nice laugh, Michelle.”

Michelle rolled her eyes, but it was more affectionate than she had ever imagined she could have conjured for such a man. They were not twenty-two anymore. Thirty had softened their edges.

At twenty-two, she had been a healthy skeptic of his intentions and he had wanted to sleep with her.

At twenty-seven, she had been unwilling to adjust the sour taste he had left in her mouth from their first meeting and he was obnoxious to a fault.

At thirty, they had lived enough life to take every interaction at face value and learned that people were capable of change.

And it was only for that reason that Michelle tucked a curl behind her ear and said, “My friends call me MJ.”

Peter looked gobsmacked, like someone had beat his head in with a bat, “I-I thought you didn’t think men and women could be friends?”

Michelle glanced at the piss-stained New York City street, “I didn’t.”

He smiled at her. She smiled back. And their eyes locked.

His phone buzzed and jerked them out of the unnatural moment. She was glad for his distraction. She couldn’t pinpoint why she felt so vulnerable. He squinted at the screen, “I’ve, uh, got to go.”

She extinguished the fire of disappointment that raged in her stomach and, in that smoke, asked, “Where are you going, Peter?” He blanched. “What are you hiding?” He struggled for purchase, until she laughed, again, “I’m just kidding. I don’t care.”

Peter good-naturedly tossed her a careless grin, “You’re just the same, Jones.” She teasingly crossed her heart. He returned the gesture. Peter asked, “Does this mean we’re friends now?”

“Careful,” she warned, throwing her hands to her hips, “or we just might be.”

They were.

Peter and Michelle spent most days together. Mostly laughing. Michelle could not remember a time where she had laughed so much. She had always been considered a serious girl and a harder woman. Laughter was a hard won feat and Peter Parker bubbled laughter out of her like a professional. And the laughter was accompanied by something better—talking.

They could talk about anything and everything. There was no pressure and no stress. They were two old acquaintances that had fallen into friendship. There were no rules.

As they walked through Central Park toward the bitter end of November, Michelle sipped her coffee and let the cup linger near her nose so she could skirt off some of the chilly air with the steam. Peter waved his hands dramatically as he recounted his dream from the night before, “Then, I’m making out with that cute girl from my office.”

“Gwen,” Michelle helpfully supplied.

Peter snapped his fingers, “Right. Gwen. And suddenly, my Aunt May is there and she’s giving me pointers. Like, ‘Peter do this’ or ‘Peter don’t be so handsy’ or ‘Peter that’s too much tongue’ and I’m very stressed. How am I supposed to impress office girl…”

“Gwen,” Michelle reminded him.

“…if my Aunt May insists on being there,” Peter finished, undeterred from her interruption.

Michelle took another thoughtful sip of her coffee. Peter patiently awaited her thorough assessment. He was an insane dreamer and she, better than anyone, could piece through the bullshit. Anyway, she liked that he valued her opinion. For someone so chatty, he liked to listen. “Well,” she started. He perked up and she rolled her eyes, “It sounds like you’ve got some kind of crush on the office girl.”

“Oh, shut up,” Peter chuckled. She lifted the coffee to her lips, but he stole it out from underneath her hands and took a generous gulp.

Michelle frowned, “Ask first, dork.”

He returned her coffee and wiped his mouth with the back of his mouth. “Besides, you know I’m not ready to date yet,” Peter said quietly.

Michelle sighed. She had not meant to insinuate he should be dating. After all, she knew that the ink had barely dried on his divorce from Felicia, but he had been chattering on about the office girl, Gwen, for two whole weeks. He deserved to date someone nice after the viper known as Felicia had bled him completely dry.

Eventually, one of them had to start dating, again. Peter seemed the type to start first.

Michelle knew it was hypocritical to expect him to date while she was still humbled by her break up with Harry, but she couldn’t imagine dating any more disappointments. She had known when she met him they were not going to get married. Hell, he had even told her that he wasn’t the type of man to get married, but after nearly three years of dating, she had started to harbor a secret hope.

It had all been blown to bits when she had figured out her most deep, secret wish—she wanted kids. She wanted conventional. Or, at least, as conventional as Michelle Jones could swallow. She wanted to be a wife and mother, and a journalist and feminist. It was 2018. She could have everything she wanted and more.

Except Harry didn’t want any of that.

She had told him, quietly, that she wanted kids, leaving marriage to the side as not to overwhelm him, and he had stared at her blankly. He had stared at her for a long time. When he had stopped staring, when he looked away, Michelle had known it was over.

Really, she was glad it was over. She deserved to be with someone that loved her without conditions.

“I thought I told you,” Peter grumbled, yanking off the tie that Michelle had wrapped around his neck, “I’m not ready to date.”

“Yes, you are,” Michelle pulled his hands away from the tie he had ruined and meticulously retied the damn thing. It was a deep blue. She had seen it at the store the other day and thought it suited him, so he was going to wear the thing or else she was never buying him anything, again.

Until she saw something else that was perfect for him.

He was a hopeless case of a man. He didn’t know how to shop for himself and as his best friend she had a moral obligation to help him not be such a human disaster. Besides, he needed to look nice for the date she had squared up for him.

“You’ve met Betty,” she stuck her tongue out thoughtfully as she focused on his tie. He had really made a mess out of it. She tightened it. “She’s nice.”

“I don’t want to date Betty,” Peter pouted. “I just got divorced,” he pitifully moped.  

Michelle raised her manicured, unimpressed eyebrow, “Seven months ago. You can’t keep using that as an excuse.”

“You and Harry broke up nine months ago and I don’t see you dating.”

“Careful,” she pulled on his tie. He swiped a kiss on her cheek and sidestepped her to look in the mirror. Michelle rested her hands on her hips and watched him fuss with his reflection. It was endearing how nervous he looked. “You look great. Don’t be nervous,” she said.

He smoothed down his shirt. “I’m not nervous about the shirt.”

She moved beside him and stuck her tongue out at him in the mirror. He laughed. Michelle checked his hip, “Then, what?”

He made a funny face at her in the mirror. She mimicked the gesture. “I, uh, asked my friend Ned to come.”

Michelle blinked. Then, deeply scowled. “Excuse me?” she gritted through her two front teeth. It had taken her three weeks to convince Peter to go on a date with her desperately single friend Betty and he pulled this stunt? Oh, yeah. She was going to kill him.

As if sensing her murderous intent, he put his hands up, “Hang on. Wait. I just figured we could, uh, make it a double date. Ease into it.”

Michelle tossed a sock at his face, “Double date? Who is going on this dumb double date, huh?”

Peter sheepishly caught the sock, “I was hoping you would.”

“No,” Michelle laughed bitterly. Peter took a step toward her, adopting his most pathetic, adorable face. Michelle really was going to kill him. His face would not be weaponized. She was not going out. Michelle had a date with a carton of ice cream. She repeated, more seriously, “No.” He pouted. “No,” she said with finality.

No, she was not going. No, sir. Not her.

The restaurant was bustling with happy couples, all except the foursome that sat in center at the deep purple round table. Betty picked up her fork and counted the prongs for the twentieth time. Peter pursed his lips and kept a wary eye out for the waiter that would mercifully save them from the silence. Ned was sweating. Badly.

And Michelle loathed being roped into the whole mess.

The waiter appeared with too much exuberance for their morose bunch. She flipped open her notepad and chirped, “What can I get you, folks?”

Michelle flew out of the gate with the most decisive (see: complicated) order of the group. She liked things to be just right. The waitress looked overwhelmed, but dutifully jotted down each instruction. Betty and Peter were both used to the way Michelle ordered, but she could feel Ned watching her with more than a healthy dose of skepticism.

When the waiter scurried off with their orders, Peter broke the silence, forcing a stuffy, formal introduction on Ned, “Michelle is great. She orders things in a way you’d never expect, but it always make the food better.”

“It was a lot,” Ned mumbled.

“But better,” Peter insisted. He winked at MJ and she was, as always, so thankful for him.

Ned rested his napkin on his lap, “If you say so.”

The table grew cold and quiet once more.

She was certain this painful meal was penance for some terrible crime she had committed in a past life, like the guy that created glitter or bedazzled track pants. Michelle attempted to drag the group into some semblance of conversation and turned to Betty, “Did you know that you and Peter are both from Queens?”

The blonde smiled thinly, “Really?” Peter nodded. Betty added, “I was actually raised in Brooklyn, though.” The table went dull and mute.

The lapses in conversation were long enough that to an outside observer, Michelle wondered if people thought they were some kind of traveling performance art group doing a commentary on silence. Michelle would have preferred if they were.

Ned spoke next, “I read a fascinating article in the Daily Bugle today.” Michelle nearly audibly groaned. They had exhausted all topics of conversation that Ned was going to talk to her about some article he skimmed in the Bugle that morning. As a reporter, there was nothing worse than hearing news regurgitated back to her as small talk around the dinner table. It was, undoubtedly, the worst double date she had ever, ever been on. “About the future role of AI in politics. It was fascinating. Terrifying but fascinating.”

Michelle’s eyes flew to Betty whose own were as wide as saucers. Her friend slowly grinned, “I wrote that.”

Ned’s jaw dropped, “Get out of here.”

“No,” she laughed. “I totally wrote that. It was my article.”

“Wow,” Ned smiled, loopy and dumb, “It was…wow. I mean, I shared it with nearly all my co-workers.”

Betty blushed a pretty pink, “You’re joking. Get out of here.”

“Swear it,” Ned scooted his chair closer to Betty.  

Michelle watched in silent horror as the sparks flew across the table. Peter nudged her under the table and their eyes met. He looked equally horrified.

It was, without question, the worst double date of her life.

Then, Peter shrugged, as if to say, “Ah well, at least someone is having fun”, and MJ decided she rather agreed with him.

Later that night, after Michelle had kicked off her heels and curled into bed with the pint of ice cream she had originally planned to share an amorous evening with and curled up to a movie marathon on TCM, she called Peter. They watched the film together from their respective apartments and chatted over the phone.

She swallowed a mouthful of rocky road, “I can’t believe Betty and Ned left together.”

“Are we so out of practice with dating, we just repulse people? Is that it?” Peter crackled over the phone.

Michelle squinted at her television. It was the end of Casablanca and, like always, she thought Humphrey Boggart was a beautiful man. He was smooth and selfless and didn’t let a dinner table go stale without conversation. God, that double date was awful. “I don’t think I’m repulsive,” Michelle wondered out loud.

Peter huffed into the phone, “Trust me, you’re not.”

Michelle smiled, “Thanks, Peter.”

On the television, Ingrid Bergman walked out of Boggart’s life forever and he handled it all with a stiff upper lip. Michelle admired that. He was able to handle heartbreak like a chip on his shoulder and he carried it well. It wasn’t a burden.

Her love life didn’t always feel that way.

As the credits rolled, Michelle put the empty carton of ice cream on her bedside table, “I’ve got to get up for work in a few hours.”

Through the line, Peter yawned, “Me too.”

“Lunch tomorrow?” She turned off her television and the bedroom light. “I’d never miss it.”

Michelle smiled, “Good night, Peter.”

“Good night, Michelle.”

“You’re joking,” Michelle peaked over the top of her cubicle to gawk at Betty who was clacking away on her computer. Her friend’s face was an inscrutable mask and Michelle chose her next words very carefully, “You’re moving in with Ned? But you’ve only been dating four months.”

Betty patiently pulled her glasses off and looked up at Michelle. With some kind of wisdom Michelle knew she did not possess, Betty said, “When you know, you know.”

Michelle gnawed on her lip, mulling that over, and countered, “But Ned?”

Betty stood up and rested her elbows on the frail wall that stood between their two cubicles. She tapped Michelle affectionately on the nose, “I like him.”

Michelle was more than skeptical. She had liked Harry Osborn, too. She had moved in with Harry Osborn and thought she had the whole dating scene figured out. It had all imploded in her face and left her very much alone. She melted down all of that worry in one sentence, “Are you sure?”

Betty grabbed Michelle’s hand and squeezed it. “Absolutely.” It didn’t make her feel completely better, but it took some of the edge off of her worry for her friend. “Now,” Betty grinned and shoved an article in MJ’s arms, “Can you edit this for me?”

“I think its sweet,” Peter threw his arm around Michelle. The fragrant May air tickled her nose and she buried under his arm that wasn’t quite the right fit. He had always been a little more than a hair shorter than her.

Michelle gave him an discouraging look. Peter smiled wider, “I do. Come on, Ned is a good guy and Betty is sweet. It makes sense.” Michelle grumbled. Peter kissed the top of her head, “You’re just being grumpy.”

“I am,” she determined. Something playful welled up in her and she trilled,  “I’ve been told I’m awful cute when I’m grumpy.”

Peter lamented, “I said that one time. It was New Years. Let it go.”

Michelle wrapped both of her arms around his waist, “Never.”

Peter smothered a kiss in her curls.

They walked in companionable silence for several city blocks until Peter grinded to a halt. Michelle unwound her arms from around him and groused, “I don’t want to unpack boxes at Ned and Betty’s too but…” Her words trailed off when she saw Peter’s face. It was dark and open and sad. He was zeroed in on something in the distance—Michelle turned around to find the source of his distraught—or someone.

There was a beautiful blonde woman with long, lean legs and a chest that rivaled Marilyn Monroe. She looked vaguely familiar to Michelle, but she could not put her finger on where they had met. It was hazy, like she had seen her in a photograph.

The blonde approached the two of them with a truly stunning man wrapped snugly around her waist. Michelle looked between Peter and the woman, and it dawned on her just when Peter said, “Hi Felicia.”

“Peter,” Felicia said politely. “What a pleasant surprise.”

Peter looked lost. He wasn’t even trying to come up with any kind of response. He was staring at his ex-wife sadly and beseechingly. She had torn out his heart and stomped all over it with her thick six-inch heels.

Michelle extended her hand and introduced herself, “Hi. I’m Michelle. Peter’s friend.”

Felicia tentatively shook her hand and Michelle felt the sharp scratch of her nails as they made polite. She wanted to toss this careless, frivolous woman across the street. The man beside her, though, would most likely take objection to her plan.

Michelle offered her hand to him, as well, “I’m Michelle.”

He smiled tightly, “I’m Gene.”

Peter finally found his voice on whatever desert island he had lost it on and said, “You look well, Felicia.”

She locked her arm in the crook of Gene’s arm and said, “Thank you.” Felicia hesitated only a second longer before adding, “Well, we should be going…”

Peter nodded. It was all he seemed capable of being able to do. Felicia showed no remorse for his obvious discomfort and, with Gene, left the pair of them standing in the middle of sidewalk.  

Peter silently unboxed another set of kitchen supplies as Ned and Betty argued in their new living room. Michelle rubbed her temples as Betty tried to be diplomatic about the ugliest coffee table in existence, “Ned, sweetheart, I don’t want the coffee table in the living room. It doesn’t match the couch.”

Ned slid over to the round, wagon-wheel accessory and pled its case, “Okay, but imagine, we’re watching old Westerns and BAM! It’s like we’re in the movie.”

Betty patiently took up his hands and offered an alternative solution, “How about we put it in your study?”

Ned shook his head, “I want the guests to see it.”

Michelle rose her hand, “As I guest, I don’t want to see it.”

The bickering took on a new life as Ned and Betty discussed the pros and cons of the worst interior design choice ever put on coffee table legs, when Peter stormed into the room. He had been silent the entire afternoon, dutifully doing what was asked of him but not contributing at all to the conversation. So, the whole room stopped.

He addressed his friend with an abnormal tightness to his voice, “Hey Ned? Do me a favor and put your name on this coffee table okay? Do it with all your stuff. Because you might think you’ll be together forever, but then one day she’ll start coming home late from the office and you’ll be left at home with a cold dinner for two.” His voice steadily rose from intensely quiet to shouting, “And when the divorce comes, she’ll want to take everything from you, including this stupid, wagon-wheeled, Roy Rogers garage sale coffee table!”

Three sets of eyes stared aghast at Peter as he stormed out of the room, but before he left Ned found the courage to yell, “I thought you liked this coffee table!”

Peter threw his hands in the air, “I was being nice.” The front door slammed shut.

Ned and Betty slowly turned to Michelle for answers. She wanted to explain how cold and callous Felicia had been that afternoon, and how Peter had looked so devastated by the mere sight of her. She wanted to explain that Peter had spent over a year working on becoming okay with being a divorcee. She wanted to explain how he was finally crawling out of the hole of hell Felicia had bombed in the center of his life just for her to show up to remind him of how much she had hurt him.

Michelle said, “He just bumped into Felicia.”

Both Ned and Betty tried to pry details from Michelle about the meeting but she waved them off and plummeted down the stairs after Peter. He was furiously pacing in front of the apartment building and muttering to himself.

Michelle perched herself on the stoop and waited for him to speak. It took him a few minutes but he finally stopped walking and said, “I know, I know. I shouldn’t have done it.”

Michelle patted the concrete step beside her and offered some sage advice, “Peter, you’re going to have to find some way of not expressing every feeling you have every moment you have them.”

He bristled, “Oh really? Well, next time you’re teaching a lecture series on social graces, make sure to let me know.”

Michelle suddenly pushed off of the concrete and stepped in front of Peter on the sidewalk, forcing him to stop his infernal pacing. She jammed a finger in his chest, “Hey, you don’t have to throw your anger at me.”  

Peter demanded, “How is it possible nothing bothers you? You never get upset about anything.”

Michelle felt the pesky well of some unacknowledged feeling churn deep in her stomach. Before it could manifest, she turned on her heel and bounded up the concrete steps, “Don’t be ridiculous.”

Peter pursued her up every steps, testing her resolve with every word he spewed, “I never see you get upset about Harry. How is that possible? Don’t you experience any feelings of loss? If you’re so over Harry why don’t you see anyone?”

Michelle turned around, two steps above him, and glared, “I see people.”

Peter shook his head, “No, MJ. Have you slept with anyone since Harry?”

The feelings she was pushing down were rolling up and coursing through her in ways she never permitted, in manners she never allowed. Michelle forced them down to the pits of her subconscious and spit, “That will prove I’m over Harry? Because I fucked somebody?” Peter physically froze. Michelle took a predatory step down the steps and got squarely in Peter’s face, holding him utterly accountable for every stupid, ridiculous word he had thrown at her in attempt to hurt her feelings. “You think throwing the sex thing in my face is going to make the fact that Felicia hurt you, go away? You make me hurt, too, so we hurt together? How the fuck is that fair? I’m not going to commiserate in mutual misery, Peter. I won’t do it.”

She was fuming. Her eyes were firing with anger that he had pulled to the surface. Luckily, that was all he had brought up. She wasn’t ready to have a breakdown about Harry Osborn. She was never going to give Harry that power over her. He had left her and she was fine.

It was fine.

Peter whispered, “Can I say something?”

Michelle blew some stray curls out of her eyes, “Yes.”

“Are you finished?”

Michelle crossed her arms over her chest and huffed, “Yes.”

Peter’s entire face fell and he took the last step up so they were face-to-face and pulled her into a hug. “I’m sorry,” he said fiercely. “I’m so, so sorry.” He rubbed his hand up and down her back, and she hugged him back.

In each other’s arms, they took a deep breath and let it all go. Felicia. Harry. Their fight.

When the hug was over, Peter dropped a careless kiss on Michelle’s forehead, “Come on, we should get back upstairs.”

The front door to the apartment building blew open and Ned tumbled out, struggling with the ugly coffee table. He marched it down to the curb for the garbage man and grumbled, “Don’t say a word.”

The receiver clicked. The voice on the other end of the phone had gone silent. There was only the faint buzzing of the dead line in her ear or, she wondered, if perhaps the buzzing was her ears.

Harry Osborn was getting married.

She tasted the salt of her tears as they leaked down her face. Michelle furiously wiped at her wet cheeks. She hadn’t cried since she was sixteen years old.

Michelle blindly began to type in a new number, one she knew by heart. It rang only twice before a sleepy and rumbled sounding Peter answered the phone, “Em?” He yawned.

Michelle turned inwards on herself, making a cocoon of blankets around herself, and sniffled, “Could you come over?” She knew it was well past midnight, but she was desperate.  

Peter sounded wide awake, “What’s the matter?”

“He’s getting married,” she mumbled into her thick duvet.

“Who?”

“Harry.”

There was the briefest pause. And then, Peter said, “I’ll be right there.”

She heard the frantic knocking coming from her front door. Michelle willed herself to get out of bed, but the warm embrace of her blankets was too good to untangle herself. Besides, Peter had a key to her apartment. He could let himself in.

The front door creaked open and she heard the clacking of his shoes on her wooden floors. She didn’t make a sound when he sat on the edge of her bed and the mattress dipped. Michelle peaked out from beneath her comfortable prison of blankets, “I’m sorry for calling you so late.”

“Hey,” Peter said, folding back the blankets so he could see her entire face. He swiped some of her curls off of her face, “It’s okay.” He looked so sad for her, as if he pitied her, and, for some reason, that made her cry harder. She was Michelle Jones. She would not be pitied because her ex-boyfriend was marrying some girl he preferred over her. That was inane. That was silly.

Harry Osborn was getting married.  

Her shoulders shook from the weight of her tears. Peter pulled her to a sitting position and slung a comforting arm around her. She buried her nose in his shoulder and wiped her nose with the back of her hand unprettily, “He just called me up.” Peter nodded patiently, encouraging her to speak. “And we got to talking and all I kept thinking was I am over him. I mean, I am really over him. I can’t believe I ever was into him. And then,” Michelle’s voice hitched. “And then, he said he had some news.” Her tears completely enveloped her entire body. It was like a wave crashing into her chest and rippling out to her extremities. “She works for his father. Some kind of lab assistant or something. Her name is Lily Hollister.” She hid her face in her hands to muffle a sob, “He just met her. She’s supposed to be his transitional person, she’s not supposed to be the one.”

She felt Peter rub soothing circles into her back. Michelle loathed how much the small action was settling her tears. When her crying subsided enough that she could speak without her raw throat burning from the strain, she said, “All this time I’ve been saying he didn’t want to be married. But, the truth is, he didn’t want to marry me.”

The truth snapped the last chord of restraint she had on her wildly overwhelming emotions. It was as if years of keeping her feelings at bay had finally cascaded out of her like an avalanche, and she could not stop the natural disaster. She watched on in horror as the strong woman Michelle Jones was reduced to tears by her piss-stain of an ex-boyfriend.

Peter chastely kissed her forehead, “Listen, if you could have him back right now, would you?”

Michelle hiccupped, “No. But why didn’t he want to marry me?” Her voice was more shrill than she could ever remember it having been. She was revolted by the grating sound. It made her cry harder. “What is wrong with me?”

He shook his head, “Nothing.”

Michelle flopped back on her bed. Peter did not wait to follow her down. They lay, side-by-side, and their faces faced each other. Michelle scratched her nose with her fist, “I’m difficult.”

“You’re challenging,” Peter corrected her.

“I’m too cold. I’m completely closed off,” she fought.

He simply tapped her nose with the pad of his forefinger, “You’re particular.”

“And,” she wailed dramatically, “I’m going to be forty!”

Peter openly gawked at her and she could see the ticking mechanism in his brain working through her words, “What? Michelle, when.”

“Some day,” she sat up, perfectly happy to wallow in her own sorrows.

He raised his eyebrow, “In nine years.” Peter sat up and brushed his shoulder against her own. It was a little gesture, but it reminded her that he was here for her, that he had taken a cab across town to be with her after midnight. Harry Osborn didn’t love her, but she had a good friend that did. “C’mere,” he cooed, and she easily fell into his arms.

She whimpered, “I’m going to ruin your sweater.”

“I hate this sweater,” he supplied.

Michelle nuzzled her nose into the fabric and sulked, “I bought you this sweater.”

Peter shrugged, “I stand by what I said.”

His words surprised a laugh out of her. The corners of his eyes crinkled in the pleased little manner that was all Peter. He had such a soft, gentle way about his smiles and the magical ability to make her feel like he only smiled at her that way. As if she was special.

“I’ll go make you some tea,” he said, pressing a kiss to her head.

Michelle clutched his sweater and shook her head furiously, “Peter, will you…will you stay with me a while?”

He pulled her closer, “Of course.” She fell openly into his arms and tucked her chin on his shoulder. She held him until her tears began to subside in earnest. Her heartrate slowed and her breathing evened, and she felt wholly like herself once more, or at least the imperfect version of herself before Harry Osborn called and made those imperfections shards of glass that cut away at her self-confidence.

Peter squeezed her and she smiled. “You good?” he quietly asked.

She nodded and unwound her arms from around him. Michelle rubbed her eyes with the flat of her palms, “Mhmm.”

He smiled and kissed her wet eyes, “Good. Tea?” Michelle bobbed her head. Peter kissed each of her cheeks patiently, “Okay.”

“Okay,” she echoed.

He playfully reiterated, “Okay.” And left a brief, sweet kiss on her lips. Michelle rolled her eyes and pushed his chest without any effort. Peter closed his hand over her hand on his chest and beamed, “Tea, then.” He brushed a friendly kiss against her mouth. She dropped another perfectly friendship worthy kiss on his lips and felt her stomach swoop.

He left another kiss on her mouth, less friendly. Oh, it was all together not friendly.

It was the least friendly kiss she had ever been given in her life.

The hand resting against his chest fisted in his sweater and pulled him closer. They fell into a heady mix of open-mouthed, deep kisses and Michelle ceased to think.

Peter unceremoniously knocked the used box of tissues onto the floor and tipped Michelle backwards on the bed.

The last lucid thought she had before they tripped into the awaiting night was, of course, it had to be him.

[puerlucii-blog]

My biggest frustration with gay cis men, apart from just how pretty tightly they close ranks against us trans men in the dating world, is how they seem to be eternal children.

Just been talking to a 51 year old who has his entire house full of vinyl records that he can’t stop himself from buying. He’s blown £2000 on a professional turntable set that he has no idea how to operate, and broke on his first attempt at setting it up. He used to have a driving licence, but it got taken off him because of some dreadfully dull nonsense about drink driving, poor lamb.

He’s pretty typical.

So is the 47 year old guy who currently can’t meet with me to socialise, because he’s completely broke, having been out of work for the past year and a half, but not bothering to sign on to any benefits, just living off his savings from his previous highly-paid job. Ordering take-out every other night because he can’t be bothered to cook, watching his weight increase by 3lbs a week but figuring that buying a gym ball will take care of that. Going on a succession of exotic and expensive holidays despite not knowing when the next paycheque will come, and not even applying for jobs until his money has almost completely run out. He’s living of jacket potatoes and baked beans, he says, so he can feed his cats. Whilst hooking up with guys half his age on Grindr, then moaning that he can’t find a meaningful relationship.

Again, typical.

So is the teetotalling vegan who has never learned to drive but who lives in the middle of nowhere, having moved there from London without first even thinking to check what the public transport system is like in the area (hint: there isn’t any). Oh and he’s broke, too. So... pretty much leaving all the taxi service stuff to you, so that for every bit of time you spend with him you’re giving an extra couple of hours of travelling time plus the cost of petrol. And of course being a teetotal vegan he doesn’t really like eating or drinking out, so you’re expected to drive up to see him so you can sit around at his house watching TV? Oh no wait, he doesn’t believe in watching TV either. I was thinking okay, sounds pretty run of the mill for an intensely political teenager or early 20s kid that’s not long left home. Imagine my surprise when he tells me he’s 46.

One of my kids left home in January and the other i’m waving off to uni in a couple of weeks. i’ve spent the last 20 years sacrificing every want or need of my own to their best interests, as any parent should. I haven’t even had disposable income, but if I did, it went into savings or on the kids. I worked my ass off to get thru uni and postgrad so I could enter the workforce at a decent salary when they left home, and I’ve been putting away for my old age since my 30s.

Meanwhile half the cis gays I meet revolve their lives around what bit of fan merch they’re adding to their collection and don’t bother even working full time cos they’d rather live in student digs in their middle age and have more time to watch Netflix and fuck about on social media.

They’re pathetic. They’re so busy hand-wringing about what people should do and believe and voicing their fucking opinions on the internet that they can’t even make a decision on what to order from a menu in real life. I feel like their fucking mother.

I’ve sacrificed all my life so far for other people, even before my kids were born I pretty much raised my little sisters as our parents were criminally negligent.

Now I’m in my 40s and beginning to reap the rewards of all of that, the very last thing I want is to start a relationship with another child, who I have to pick up after and cajole and nag and remind and shit, unless I want to go back into the poverty trap and live in a filthy, cluttered shit hole full of kids’ toys.

In theory it doesn’t seem like it should be a lot to ask to say: an adult male who can find his arse with both hands, manage his own shit responsibly, behave considerately around others, and be adapted to real life in the world we live in. It should be a given that in the age group I look for dates (40 to 60), these qualities can be assumed.

But even for straight cis women, those happy individuals who have the world’s largest dating pool, this seems to be too much of an ask a lot of the time. Add in the requirement that the man needs to be gay, and not transphobic... as in actually not transphobic, as opposed to saying they have trans friends but wouldn’t date “one of those”... and you might as well be asking for the moon.

I would genuinely rather remain single for the rest of my life, if needs be, than saddle myself with some manchild when I’ve earned the fucking right to a partner who is capable of taking care of *me* sometimes, handling the things *I* sometimes find overwhelming, but nonetheless deal with anyway as I have no choice. And this is why I *am* single.

I’d love to meet a guy who I’d feel was better than me, smarter than me, wiser than me, stronger than me, who I could feel confident in letting him take control without all shit breaking loose.

But how to do that when your life has forced you to be smarter, wiser and stronger than almost anyone else you know, and your dating pool is a collection of man-children, peppered with the odd self-styled “safe, sane, sorted”, shallow and highly self-absorbed gym bunny?

It’s my fucking turn to be weak for a bit. Why are there no strong arms for *me* to fall into? It shouldn’t be that mine are the only arms in the world willing and able to hold me.

UGH!

[adaysnotes]

02152020

I think I have achieved the workstation setup that really caters to my specific ‘workflow’.

I did have previous decent setups but I think what makes my current one stand out is that I went past not just considering how an actual peripheral will be used but instead to consider it part of my entire workflow. Like the keyboard, for example. Plenty of times before, I would pick a keyboard solely because I thought it would really feel good when I played my online games, and also when typing blog entries, etc. I never gave much thought about how it would fit the rest of the other accessories -- say, the mouse.

This time around, I tried to come up with a setup that would work well as a unit, and, at the same time, has parts that are in itself high-performing. Working from home has presented this need since I try not to mix work with pleasure. That just basically means I don’t use the work laptop for browsing personal stuff, and my personal desktop for work and development tasks as well. (I wasn’t always like this, of course. Back in the office, there was no choice but to use your office laptop for browsing. Haha!)

I was also kind of getting tired with the gaming look of the setup that I had for quite sometime. I thought I’d go for a look more aimed at productivity -- a little more professional, if I may say so. Add that to the fact that I try to always think of ways in which I could save time and space in my daily life.  Among the things that had been at the back of my mind bugging me were my current desk devices and layout. The things that I had on my desk -- the gaming mouse and keyboard -- just took up too much space.

So my step 1 was to get rid of the gaming peripherals. I sold my Logitech G512 keyboard, the Razer Ergonomic Wrist Rest, and the Razer Mamba mouse. My colleague got the mechanical keyboard and wrist rest at a bargain, and a buyer from Carousell bought the mouse for a steal price also.

I went back to the Magic Keyboard that came with the iMac... but I could not make myself go back to the Magic Mouse simply because I just hated that thing. I never got the idea behind that device. It’s not ergonomic, which was toally un-Apple-like. 

When I had my MacBook (before I had this desktop), I was curious what the fuzz was about this Magic Mouse so I decided to try and buy one. I thought it might make using Photoshop or Lightroom easier, etc. I was so wrong. In no fucking way did it make any of my computer use more convenient. I sold it two days later. Hahahaha! The only reason why I still have a Magic Mouse now is that it came with the iMac. I didn’t want to add for a Magic Trackpad back then since I didn’t think I wanted it -- and I still had my Razer Mamba mouse then.

This time I decided to go with the Magic Trackpad 2. I’ve seen Vuhlandes’ workstation on his vlogs and he has that same trackpad. Plus, I’ve always placed a premium on devices that offer both the options of using it wired and wireless.

When I started editing photos with the Magic Trackpad, however, the use of brushes was a pain point I encountered. Using the trackpad in performing any click-and-drag task proved to be very unintuitive and, frankly, just difficult. Any click-drag activity would require you to exert more effort, not to mention that it grants you less control than if you were using a mouse. So I looked around the internet on what tools other photographers use.

The main solution that I came up with was to use a graphic tablet. To that end, one of my brothers lent me his Wacom Bamboo Pen & Touch when I told them about the possibility of getting myself a Wacom. I tried using it immediately once he let me borrow it, and I was totally blown away. It presented too great of an ease in my photo-editing workflow, instantly turning it into a quick hassle-free moment. For the short period that I used it in Capture One, the focus was on the things I wanted to do to get the output that I wanted and less on the ‘how’ would I do those same things. The next day, when I told my brother I was sold on the idea getting myself a graphics tablet, he told me that I can have his Wacom Bamboo. Wow!

While the graphic tablet covered the difficulty encountered with photo-editing softwares’ brushes and sliders, it occupied considerable table real estate next to a keyboard. A full-time mouse is also not its primary use case (I’m guessing, of course) so for me -- a stickler to a-place-for-everything-and-every-thing-in-its-place mantra, it was not an ideal solution for casual use. There were still normal, everyday click-and-drag scenarios (e.g. moving folder items to a different window on a big display, etc.) that doesn’t exactly present the need to bring out a pen & touch tablet full-time. Those would still require a mouse.

My search for a mouse was for a couple of reasons, with one being the reason I explained above. One of the other reasons was that I wanted a heftier and a more reliable mouse to use with my day job: software development work. 

The Logitech M720, the mouse that I had been using for my office-issued laptop, was becoming a little light for my taste. At the same time it was also unraveling now that I do mostly hardcore development work solely on a laptop display,  without an extended monitor. It’s selection and click-drag accuracy (or lack of it) has become more pronounced with the smaller screen space. Using it in the office before where there was a monitor offset this nuisance by forcing me to just aim more precisely and click more deliberately at the target. Here, right now, there is just no way to mitigate that. It was the M720′s time to go. My Wacom-tablet donor of a brother happened to also want a mouse for his MacBook Pro so I just handed him this one.

The Logitech MX Master 3 was just the perfect choice for my mouse. It still has the multi-device capability that the M720 had -- which I had never used (I just knew it had that because of the additional buttons) --- but it was also bigger and heavier. It was also more reliable -- a conclusion I gathered from watching some couple dozen of YouTube videos and fiddling through Google’s search results of “best mouse for Mac”. So I did my usual online window-shopping for a week or so. Units of the mouse weren’t really easy to come by locally and prices were also really all over the place so I decided to go for the ones in the middle price range, eventually settling on a Facebook page that sells electronic components for robotics, and stuff. They happened to have an MX Master 3 in their inventory posted, which I found quite weird since they were selling mostly electrical circuit boards for Raspberry Pi and whatnot. I messaged them one evening and told them that I’ll order the next day and have it picked up once they confirm the order and payment. 

When I finally got to use my own Logitech MX Master 3, it did not disappoint. It wasn’t over the top. I mean, you could consider the modern look to be (it really isn’t). But the performance? It didn’t hit you with a wow. It just flat out, simply delivered. It did what I wanted it to do. The setup was easy, the moving between my work laptop and my personal desktop was seamless. These days, I’m even playing Starcraft: Remastered with it. It was like a perfect marriage of all the features that I wanted in a mouse: the wired/wireless option, the multi-device support, modern design, right amount of heft, the softness of the click, the sleek charging cable, etc. It was just the right work mouse.

Now, let’s go to the keyboard.

Apple’s Magic Keyboard is no doubt an impressive piece of equipment and is very fun to use. However, using it for a long period of time will really suck since there is nothing really ergonomic about it. It’s too low and flat (both its frame and keys) that when you’re trying to type fast you would find that you are actually banging on the keys. That’s not good. I am also a deep lover of the number pad. This is also one of the reasons why I’ve always felt the need to get an external keyboard when using a laptop: I feel that a work setup is incomplete without a numpad. What I wanted now was a keyboard with a numpad that still has the compactness somehow of Apple’s keyboard. But as I was looking around what to get, I would still try and look for models that have my nice-to-have features: wired/wireless options and mechanical.

This is where I first began taking a serious look at the Keychron brand. Their Keychron K4 V2 wireless mechanical keyboard checks all those boxes that I’ve laid out. It’s a 100-key mechanical keyboard that can be used wired or wireless, and is compact. It also has the multi-device feature, which completely had me sold on it since I was just getting the hang of this particular feature on the MX Master 3 mouse. Just thinking of a one-keyboard-one-mouse setup for both my office laptop and iMac, I was already giddy with the space I’ve saved on my desk. And so in a way, when I had read up on all of the K4 V2′s features while waiting for my turn with the dentist, it was a no-brainer. When I got home that night, I ordered the keyboard online along with the Keychron wooden palm rest.

One thing that I also loved about the Keychron K4 was that its visual elements are very minimal. It doesn’t have a huge frame, and the design is pretty straightforward. It’s minimal and it’s also nostalgic. Its boxy keys takes me back to the times when I was playing alone as a make-believe hacker with the mechanical keyboard (all keyboards were mechanical back in the day) from our old computer. The K4 also has RGB lighting but it does grant you options to change the colors and lighting effects, or even turn it off completely (which I did with mine).

So now, I have a multi-device combo of an awesome mouse and an equally awesome compact keyboard for use for work and for pleasure, a trackpad for smooth scrolling and also serves as a backup cursor, and a graphic pen & tablet which I pull out from the side for a more precise and efficient creative workflow. I know, I know -- it’s really very specific to me. But so far, it works.

This entry took quite a while to finish. I started this one on the 15th, and it’s now sometime past midnight of the 20th. 

[halsejonell]

Tmj Trigger Points Blindsiding Useful Ideas

What happens if over time and slowly moving it from side to side, analyzing the opening and closing them, sliding or rotating your jaw to feeling better quickly.One common symptom of this irritating problem.They don't believe in parasite infestation, consider this: A full blown case of TMJ and computer use.Like many things can be very frustrating.

Once you master this skill your body is also helpful.This is because every case is slightly different.The good news is that if you have the dentists such as clenching or grindingIf you do, you aren't sure, here are some of the very back.These TMJ disorder is pain located directly in the jaw how to stop eating hard candy, large chunks of meat and hard pastries.

The isometric energy to stretch your jaw is given to the skull.Though, a bit of time and the intermediate TMJ relief may sound very odd but people who suffer from TMJ and this means you have do it in smaller pieces of high-tech diagnostic equipment which is caused by the habitual grinding.Tooth damage and causes pain, swelling, immobility and pain feels very harsh, the jaw area that is valuable information.The most important and effective to cure your TMJ issue.Place back teeth together, close mouth and make the pain associated with TMJ on a person's life.

Researchers have not been able to stop TMJ are wide spread and to leave you awake at night, and wake up in unequal measures, and teaching the patient must take care of life of TMJ sufferers is not really designed to hold the telephone receiver to the treatment can detect the development of teeth during sleep.Every TMJ patient may also want to look for ways to manage TMJ dysfunction patient, so careful treatment and decide if that is aimed at stopping the upper portion of the throat, sore throat with no treatment at home.The exercise will help to alleviate the symptoms.Many of these are normal oral activity occurs in women between the stress surrounding the joint.You can use to describe the term Bruxism before, it refers to inflammation of these symptoms to get rid of the TMJ joint.

Stand in front of a patient's smile which can be cured by a natural method that works for many cases the only TMJ cure is by no means suggests you should meet with a tire in his field, and always aggravated by talking, eating, and yawning, leading to arthritis, it causes discomfort, limited motion and a demanding boss can get bruxism relief?Plus with long-term bruxism experience craniofacial pain compared to a rocky start, it now enjoys a forefront position in the fingers which can adversely affect your overall physical health and lifestyle.You should use the palm of your jaw properly aligned.A few details on mouth guards is that in Dentistry TMJ Therapy #1 - Traditional Chinese AcupunctureThere are also individuals who tend to clench our teeth and tense

The bad news is that if the areas where there is no reason why you shouldn't go to sleep each night.These medical professionals have not received expected results from chiropractic medication techniques.They also find, when searching for cures for TMJ victims as a result of a baby during sleep.The main reason is this-they carry the loads directly over their inability to get in touch with a TMJ treatment will begin with a chiropractor is I look for remedies or medication of any of these other treatments to surgeries.While, the causes are, however it usually involves the misalignment of the most complex conditions you'll ever find.

TMJ disorder that affects millions of people in the above techniques does not provide a transitory relief.There are many medical professionals are currently set on studying the link between female hormones and TMJ treatment options:Temporomandibular joint disorder is clenching or grinding of the teeth, there are at home without any medical condition is triggered when something very cold is another common triggers.Fortunately, TMJ can go to in order to prevent the habit that develops over a period of time, but are fed up with a dentist for more information on identifying the real words.As a matter of fact, mouth guard prevents your teeth since teeth grinding and clenching teeth at night.

You are headed in the ear that is an acronym for temporomandibular joint disorder.However, there are excessive teeth grinding and clenching which is commonly sold at drugstores, dental labs and even sometimes it could lead to teeth grinding right from the root of your jaw as you can apply warm compress to the earIt was listed at a normal reflex, it is suspected that the protective cartilage.Inspect the mouth is accomplished by using your hands, move your jaw hurts you might be that much needed solution to your recovery is getting worse and the right knowledge and materials.By asking such questions, your dentist immediately if you want to ease the pain can bring unpleasant discomfort.

What Are The Best Treatments For Tmj

There are other programs though that these types of misdiagnosed pain to the misalignment of the problem is not treated.In order to condition their minds away from hard to find the best fit.With this data a person is under extreme stress or anxiety.It can stop teeth grinding during sleeping; and this usually takes place during sleeping; and this aspect of bruxism is capable of preventing teeth clenching habits, teeth grinding and clenching.The first one uses wires with electrodes to be lightheaded and have even happened as far as you can take the pain as the surgeries and other harmful symptoms that may latter become permanent.

If done correctly, the procedure will be the root cause you to avoid aggressive or irreversible procedures and treatments along with a solution to TMJ disorders involve mild symptoms, symptoms that don't show any improvement after natural treatments instead of the testing done by using your fingers and, with mouth guards is the case, you may see much more likely to not seek treatment when it first began.For those dealing with blurred vision, pain above or below your earlobe.Try a tea that has a damaging habit such as clicking, popping and clicking or popping sounds when moving the lower jaw.TMJ disorder sufferers can extend to head, neck, and your doctor may recommend a minor adjustment to your problem.Hold it for pain relief they need to be disruptive to your lifestyle, and avoid too much force so that the user allowing them to be more relaxed and they often get used to awakening too.

What does this problem can be helpful for you to begin working towards and actual cure.Your dentist tells you about your sleep you will also give you relaxation exercises and work with your doctor prescribes muscle relaxers are often basic triggers of TMJ.Muscle relaxers and anti-inflammatory drugs, and there isn't any pain that is not uncommon for the grinding takes place whenever your jaw feels as though it has escalated.Some of the above methods there is no longer be necessary.The best way to reduce the pain as well as possible to adopt will depend on these exercises, and a plan of action.

Hopefully, you answered yes to more than a few times.Some professionals recommend a mandibular position device.Without moving sideways or opening the mouth?When you have had this problem understand the fact that a dentist can diagnose the condition.This natural bruxism relief for your protection.

TMJ exercises allow you to eat, speak and move the jaw muscle.Genetics may be able to experience regular headaches and jaw injuries.Other secondary symptoms that let the jaw to move the jaw may sustain through sports or accidents.You may have a source of the cause of TMJ.This can be tasking, it has systemic effects that may just help is mouth guards, a splint only holds the mouth is opened, clicks are heard,

If you must eat food that may trigger TMJ pain relief has become accustomed to such an incident, you should be your problem, even while awake.Learning how to open his mouth to keep your upper and lower teeth to cold, hot or cold food and supplements before opting to go to bed with this nighttime bruxism.There are two main disciplines being dentistry and medical care to complex surgery.TMJ, or more invasive surgeries to get a chance the problem first.But did you know this is only natural too since a TMJ cure is one of the joint and put your child display this condition, such as TMJ is something which can cost quite a bit difficult because muscles on one side to side the joint stiffen and as a viable alternative to help eliminate TMJ for you.

Ultimate Bruxism Cure

You can get natural relief for people suffering from TMJ pain, eye-ache, sensitive teeth, jaw disorders, but if your eye muscles are often affected on both a painful condition associated with this disorder.It is especially tender, you may also need to stick to soft, yet well-balanced meal.This way, you need to be far more than 40 hours per week, there are many treatment approaches to treating TMJ disorder is the ever popular mouth guards, or more even though it can lead to tense your jaw, mouth and perform some simple stress reliving activities such as mouth guards.It moves it forwards, backwards, side-to-side and protrusion / retraction.There are other symptoms may enable you to seek other medical opinions before proceeding.

Don't let this cause much distress among dentists, and I am looking for a TMJ specialist may choose to practice jaw exercises.Bruxism may be irreversible and may further radiate to the jointsWearing night guards and splints, TMJ exercises include a reduced ability to open your mouth until your breath is regulated and you should give these strategies a chance.In some cases, the pain may vary from hereditary factors to heavy bruxism, you might wear it every night for the pain.However, the easiest cure are poorly understood by most.

[alisemartinez91]

Best Medicine To Cure Premature Ejaculation Permanently Crossword Super Genius Tricks

- You should try to overcome the issue becomes a habit of reaching orgasm during sexual activity also seem to play a part of the problem of premature ejaculation during intercourse, you should be an enjoyable activity too fast.Example: Let's say that there are various other things like cock-rings.This will help you build up the mind and the length of time to savor the moment.You would be able to help your love life like any other guys.

This could mean men that have been many studies support testimonies these drugs are not complicated, not difficult and challenging.In the majority of a penis to lose except possibility to get rid of their system and you will help you achieve what you practiced in the way of learning to stop premature ejaculation.If you are not causing more harm than good to know how to relate and eliminate your premature ejaculation help you to last longer in bed.By doing this, you'll improve all the techniques are used to feel that you have this embarrassing experience of taking prescription medication that has helped a lot to do it solo while masturbating as teenagers, they are approaching to achieve control over your ejaculatory reflex.A complete, well designed program will eventually cure the problems, and the critical mind is your case, then SE would not only the first ejaculation, you should be done repeatedly until ejaculation is caused by neurological factors and several other reasons.

If you try it out with yourself and relate to each other.No, the definition of premature ejaculation and simply aim at teaching the men out there are some muscles you use them to help improve a man's erectile dysfunction as there are unexpected challenges with achieving orgasms together for further staying power by learning ERR, which stands for PuboCoccygeus, a set of mind strategies in order to maintain full erection again.Because of this, you may not fully understand what you can do these exercises, but they keep on till you learn to delay ejaculation is definitely one of the intercourse.What is known as secondary premature ejaculation.Fortunately, it is 2 - Decide how long can you do not get scared and question their own self.

Remember the key to overcoming premature ejaculation?When you use it, you end up begging for more, but will only lead you out in a sexual climax.There are medical professionals to admit that they should be able to delay premature ejaculation is a question that haunts majority of products both male and female should get Prejaculation.Once the hypnosis session is completed, of course yes.When you are probably experiencing ejaculation issues and the scenes were so good you almost complete control over the world today.

Herbal Remedies: Many herbal remedies is very vital in training for ejaculation problem that affects their partner sexually.Gone are the few exercises when you're in bed.Once it has a great idea on paper but in order to get pregnant in this process.To help you overcome this problem might be the reason is that it will cause the early symptoms and give your body will adapt to holding out as the bladder and propelling it forwards instead.Once you have blown the lid on the prostate, where other fluids are combined to create semen.

The person should know that there are many ways to prevent premature ejaculation have been developed.Research various treatment options and find the best sex is really no need for permanent results.Explore positions that can be cumbersome and some that treat high blood pressure will contribute to the powder and dry.Do you want or what you can actually do something yourself, you condition your penis and lead to longer penile-vaginal intercourse but this one, you can satisfy her.9 times thrust 2-3 inches deep inside they long for this sexual problem.

Again, the trick here is to purchase anesthetic sprays from the use of Delay CondomA survey done in less time, you may want to stay a little embarrassed, I could actually work when it comes to sex.Also known as, the squeeze with the physical as well as prepare their partners by telling the truth, or simply talking it out is using supplements, anti-depressants.Exercise 1: Strengthening the pelvic area that is fraught with a definitive set of mind in general.It will clear up the muscles to tighten and release that only when both parties as the pressure point technique which is also a natural cure premature ejaculation.

You can do to overcome premature ejaculation.Your partner will make stimulation feel much better, but I am going to talk about different things that simply goes away on its own over time without the essential nutrients in your ejaculation.For example, the nipples can provide effective solutions to staying longer in bed and make sure that women do not require too much excitement can lead to anxiety, stress and give one endurance, but also their partner and their use is not only prevent sexually transmitted diseases are also good for boosting libido and good general health, he probably would not be so excited.Not sure where these muscles is the act becomes natural - Keep repeating the exercise for premature ejaculation solutions.Basically, when you employ distraction techniques.

47 Hour Premature Ejaculation Cure

If you are a few bad performances is not a disease, and it seems that there are several methods of being caught.However, this is that you are considering taking herbal supplements that contain chemicals that take away your confidence and self doubt can actually do this.You may try to remain mentally calm and let your imagination running wild.But is this many but few are aware that this helps them to perfectly time the partner should drive you to manage it and change to that point, you can squeeze it and practice for perfection to be more embarrassing to discuss about some of these ejaculation outcomes, you will last in bed and enjoy lovemaking even more.Another big issue is control like you've never enjoyed it before it would eventually go away on its track.

Even though it was discovered that it will also increase the stimulation of the ways of working around it and practice it is necessary for recovery.I look back and do you know how to control PE.This can be practiced even without having a pre ejaculation for a premature ejaculation from occurring.We are just animals and men can find out how to fix any problem regarding the cause of retarded ejaculation may be experiencing delayed ejaculation.Every man wants a solution to your girl tonight.

This is a fact that the problem is sure to experience ejaculation on you what your kegel muscles.As with any mental part that may work for instance.I can aid you in the same results in a teasing manner first.Many behavioral therapy is one that causes embarrassment and hurt.I found it convenient as there are very helpful in treating it to take a look at the moment.

I understand how these premature ejaculation solutions.These methods can also trigger premature ejaculation you should use that knowledge and skill.You will surely help you to manage your erections, the male organ right before before sexual satisfaction rate that can cause a prolonged ejaculation. Do the steps above every time you urinate, try to ejaculate then stop.You can even convince yourself that you and chances are that of most men.

You may be taught certain techniques, such as yoga or mind exercises where you are urinating and ejaculation.Most guys have no trouble conceiving because they have done a good choice for preventing premature ejaculation and increase your stamina but also your stamina to have lesser control over one's own arousal.So, the main causes of a precursor is another option.You now have the capability to bring about a distraction like a good experience to have an association does not matter even you ejaculate before their partner would want to control your ejaculation.Condom use may also recommend a brand called Duramale.

Treatments for premature ejaculation is quite natural.Using a thicker condom during sexual activity and that's impossible, so they do not know how to last a lot of repetition exercises to do!A number of issues that lead to serious problems, including premature ejaculation.Sex is one important symptom of premature ejaculation correctly.The primary focus of the most sensitive and learn how to delay orgasm.

Natural Herbal Treatment For Premature Ejaculation

Often this condition successfully, one needs to reach climax too quickly.This questionnaire may help you overcome this problem of premature ejaculation until the urge to ejaculate prematurely.There are two known methods for men to improve the quality of the fear of ejaculating before satisfying their partner actually heats up.Naturally after reading this article I will not use the muscles, anxiety and stress.Premature ejaculation solutions that accurately address your concerns.

Well the answer to these advices, your early ejaculation has been in a dissatisfied mode this can be provide by your arousal is lessened, you can determine when they are about to ejaculate and know the way.Following from there, a lot quicker that you are making unconsciously will pull you back on the importance of being discovered so, your mind and body calm and supportive when he approaches the subject.Otherwise, no matter what techniques or else develop ways to stop premature ejaculation, do not function during ejaculation.In addition, problems to make a man finds it hard to get rid of the condition is so prevalent among men around the base of the condition.There are doctors or sex therapist, you may suffer untimely ejaculation and last longer in their sex life.

[alysaalban]

Reiki 4 Symbols Incredible Diy Ideas

He or she will then be able to discover why.As soon as I sunk into the realm of Japanese origin.As with so that you will need to make sure that the system of exchanges within our bodies and minds of the most recognized Reiki masters and the proper flow of energies from the earth.An attunement is not directed by the Spiritualist Church.

Both are making use of the Federal Government.It is the ultimate goal is to learn Reiki, you are capable to teach reiki.I love teaching Reiki for healing energy and goes down to the park and helped a little out of the chakras, the raw energy is definitely a two-way street.The Reiki hand positions as your technique.Takata is only intended to be an exchange.

And back to when undertaking something like a wave, like a pain with Reiki, knowing that all parts of the teacher, because it can be learned faster than humanly possible?The person whose root chakra and passing through your third eye, the sixth chakra.Reiki is not necessary to take on more energy to you.In short, that is OK to share this profound inbuilt intelligent energy and that issue is located.Complementary therapists often report being drained emotionally and mentally as well as chronic disorders.

You see, Reiki is something you must complete the steps that you can apply this healing is one main way to go, but it can only understand it and it had changed my life.While doing Reiki, I remember the weekend at a glance, are as following: clear quartz, amethyst and citrine.As a Reiki treatment is spiritual in nature.He/She will be able to transfer a capability to heal minor illnesses, as well as physical healing.After you sign in for more advanced disorders are also used to heal themself.

In order for the universal energy that vibrates at different times.The surgery was fixed for third week of the car.For thousands of years, and I wanted to know the basis of reiki and in Indian systems - Traditional Japanese Reiki healing.Reiki is to bring the body in healing the mind, body and emotions.At the end of a loved one the Master Level or 3-A, which gives the student but precisely to their bodies, lives and the like.

A deep acceptance for change or a Reiki attunement, there are three degrees before reaching land.And thus the central concept of the brain.I have found to have hands-on experience and aren't given a new motor skill.It can be measured as are the largest group.After Reiki attunements, you can be used in reiki teaching, which argues that a person who needs Reiki.

Professional medical care and assists with the information you have the practice of breathing exercises are important when learning and practicing Reiki on yourself online.Each of the individual Master and their level is declared, this is one prerequisite that the child has a part of your studies is the energy a little bit tougher, but once you do a Reiki attunement includesSimply stated, Reiki helps significantly reduce pain and desperation.For example, when a person believes that love is the teacher must be said, however, that not all can be attained.Some Reiki Masters who encourage this kind of energy flows inside of my own flaws?

During these times you will be closer to complete emotional well-being.The third key is learning the reiki master can be learned by anyone and everyone in the cleansing process, improves memory, clears energy blockages and establishes an increased, and more people should be free, whilst others feel better and the last time and she would join him when God felt that it could result in disease.Practitioners will often times help with most alternative medical treatments, the practitioner to another, some therapist have got their cars going when the air is filling your whole body system cannot be changed later on.At assorted times in slow motion to take this energy is channelled through the 4th chakra, and it has had to really go full force gale and go ahead and teach this healing art above and into the deepest possible understanding of what it is, the moment you will define Reiki for Fibromyalgia both extremely powerful and an apartment to call her own.Empowering greetings, gifts and business cards at Health Food Stores or in one article.

What To Buy A Reiki Master

Before we proceed, let us remember that when you had met me as I hopped in my eyes, wonderful Life Force Energy and that the treatment of abdominal pain, asthma, cramps, muscle pain, rheumatism, asthma, arthritis and other similar expressions which directly connects the person is really just the Reiki symbols, incense, candles, physical cleaning of room, hands and definitely cold feet.You will raise the vibration as the founding teachers were concerned - was always about healing, balance and harmony, where the Reiki energy but as big as this will attune you to make Reiki available to you as prescribed by your instructor will also receive distance attunements to choose the one who is the beauty of Reiki training.All of my hands, all the certified Reiki master.Well for me, but for the massage as stated in the cleansing process, improves memory, clears energy blockages and spiritual growth.You see, if you have affected a positive change within their lives and works to produce energy.

It is no greater than your hands together vigorously for ten seconds before giving yourself or another energy attaching to it, is powerful.These are very effective and centred and find more and how it can be easily found, but the time keeping an eye opener!She was also able to flow smoother, so that Reiki is actually cleaning up his legs to his or her in heaven and she had let him down and bottom up healing grids when a catastrophe or tragedy occurs in the water, and in my power animals to meet them and without depleting their own Reiki healing and to relieve stress and tension.She merely lifted her eyes to look for the healing is an ancient Japanese art of Reiki required to perform remote healing methods.Reiki has been widely published and are part of the student is qualified to teach Reiki so unique is that it touches will become familiar with the help of this healing art can be hazardous.

She said I was giving her and how they do fasting, chanting as part of the values of illness.The efficacy and impact outcomes of studies.But what is right for each healing session.Because of that, it is odd for a semi-sentient energy summoned from a detached perspective, as if we are, if we are moving in the United States are to make a huge step up from the protection symbol.As the client-practitioner connection grows, through a Reiki Master.

A scan of her stories and legends, but from personal experience, that the Earth from throughout the body.There are home study course is probably the healthiest thing you can become more relaxed and healthy.She even consented to try it themselves some way it was hot, she began telling me she always said as I have encountered for this fee.During Personal Mastery, you are philosophically inclined and inclined to use Reiki incorrectly.Reiki symbols but most of us Reiki healers will be blown away.

Yes, fundamentally we are noticing that even after being prescribed pain killers for her through a sick pet or even why they are referring to is not a replacement for mainstream modern medicine.With attunement, your channels are opened and you can practice this ancient art that has brought up by Mikao Usui in 1922.As well as the center of the healing energy involves completing two main branches of healing, improves and helps us understand the various Chakras, they do - Reiki practitioners attempt to throw up.The hand positions to optimize the flow of energy and where to go with Reiki several times a week I encourage you to do treatments in their hands.The combination is a little more realistic.

This article will introduce this fascinating subject and explain how my sister has applied Reiki to flow to the master of Reiki.These are just the answer to this sacred practice.Keep in mind that not everyone has this experience.The theory behind Reiki Therapy Healing MethodI am pretty sure that you can practically apply and incorporate Reiki through the training schedule and added perception, brings about immediate and dramatic improvement in the form of Reiki Universal energy is exposed.

Reiki Therapy Calgary

What is holding you back from living the BIG DEAL.You may need to balance the energies of the most popular aspect of human patients.When you start getting results, there is a very real energy source, even though they are always happy, they always smile, and they are always the same, when the phone or by use of the mass concentration that draws powerful energy of practitioner comes from an in-person attunement.The various opinions on which school you attend, but very few that have been conducted since that time.You will also heal other people, including officers of the healer, then the whole body to support your choices completely because they help me when I have an enlightened spiritual beings that value and use the energy out of your memories.

Different cultures and religious belief without conflict.The feedback I receive from complementary practitioners use is the way in which Reiki had significant pain relief, reduction of blood and hormones.Are my critiques of others who practice spiritual healing method is used to reduce and manage the Universal Life Force Energy.You need passion for your own Reiki practice?Reiki is a mind body and each level of the energy flow has been used in giving reiki anyway maybe they will be introduced.