#they basically told her 'eh you're old we can't do much to help you'

[fly-sky-high-09]

I got a terrible reminder how much older generations were brainwashed to think that they have to shut down any discomfort to keep working and take pride in that

I was waiting for mom to finish her MRI scan and this old lady prompted a chat with me, clearly distressed and with voice you could tell is on verge of tears. She was shaking from all the anxiety and distress.

she was visibly anxious and worried, the doctors and nurses didn't give her instructions that could help her understand but the nurses at this facility told her to sit and wait before they come back to explain to her along with needed papers

she assumed they basically left her hanging, just like they did on previous medical institutions, as she explained to me

she had terrible luck with both nurses and doctors who kept convincing her she's "fine and should not have come for the doctors appointment" while this woman went through three heart interventions and a hip surgery and is under distress because either her therapy was unclear or the checkups she still has to do

I listened and watched this woman get progressively redder in face from rising blood pressure because she was trying hard not to cry. I sat and calmly shared the general troubles we have with medical institutions nowadays and that, while perfectly valid to be upset, she should not allow them to make her health even worse with their lack of care and that she should look after herself

Then she started explaining how she feels bad bothering nurses and doctors at this point, as if it was her fault that she's ill. I suddenly flashbacked to my grandmother and mother from just few years ago

Like, no! It's their job to care, even if hypothetically she could be fine, it's their job to be there and ask how they can help even if she comes in and visits every single day

She told me she even got fired when she was 50 the firm bankrupted and no one was to hire anyone at her age so she had to push through the pension with works not fit for someone with her health, making it even worse over the years

Her distress and mentality of having to be quiet, take it in and just abide to her obviously mean doctor (who told her "I'm sure you won't die from that") and nurses who didn't want to bother with her made ME distressed. Because I HAVE seen this happen to my mom, I HAVE heard this happen to my family members and I KEEP HEARING that's just a norm now. Frustrating!

Luckily, as the nurse at this facility said, came back with papers, calmly explained to her where to go, what to do, wrote everything down and answered her further questions. She was so overjoyed and thankful she kept giving her thanks to this nurse, left outside, came back and thanked me for a chat and told me how much it meant to her at the moment. I was just waiting and killing time, a chat was welcome on my end as well but I got worried about this woman too.

When she left I just felt mad. I can't believe how much it all sounded like basically any of my older family members who just learned to be quiet and take the problems in, to push through and continue to somehow prove they're still fit to serve the society

I can't believe they still want to push this rhetoric down the throats of recent generations and it's so much easier for them to do because so many are struggling now

But they don't deserve that. Please, remember, you will thank yourself in the future. Don't let them think you're only fit to live in society if you can work and offer something to them...

[midnightcreator12]

So about that Live Action Avatar

....so, I don't think its going to be good....but I'm going to TRY and give the Netflix Avatar a shot....

.....this is just my thoughts during episode 1....and I'm trying very hard to not be biased but...eh...

Apparently we suffer from the same affliction as Shamalan: For some reason, we have to make the bending look slow as hell and lack any kind of power.

Oh, but hey, you killed a dude on screen. Nice, are we gonna see the darker sides of murder via bending?

Why tf is Aang flying without the glider? No, he's not falling slowly, he is FLYING. Boy thinks he's superman out here.

I'll give you the Aang and Gyatso bonding, I appreciate that. Love what you're doing with that.

Apparently, the writers think I can't remember basic information because they've told me FOUR TIMES 'The Avatar, the only one who can master all four elements' you gonna tell me again later.

Why is Aang freaking out at being the Avatar? He's a ten-year-old boy, any kid would be hyped. I GET the not wanting to leave bit but he's just instantly like 'no, no, I'm not the Avatar' I get we're in a rush but please tell me he's not gonna act like a full-fledged adult.

Appa! You look good buddy!

So, Aang KNOWS that the Fire Nation is planning to start a war before he gets iced....I feel like this undermines how HARD the emotional hit is going to be when he realizes he's the only Air Bender left.

That gut punch when he finds Gyatso's body hits so hard because Aang doesn't know how BAD things have gotten. From where he's standing in the cartoon, he ran but after his ice nap, he calmed down and was like 'okay, I'm ready now!' But then he gets smacked with the 'last of his kind' trope and it firmly shows him how serious this war is.

....he's totally gonna be acting like a grown ass man through this.

APPARENTLY FIRE BENDERS CAN FUCKING FLY TOO, WHAT THE FU-

On-screen murder number 2 and, yeah, the bending looks cool here!

The fire nation is human cannonballing themselves into the temple, what the heck is that??

I do give the show props for showing the genocide of the Air Nomads.

Whhhhhy is there so much slow-mo showing nothing?? Did Shamalan help shoot this??

We have flashed forward and...as much as I appreciate the time in the temple, I still feel like it's going to undermine the emotional impact when Aang goes back. Part of why that scene hit so hard was because, up until then, there was reasonable doubt that all the air-benders were truly gone. Now, anyone coming in who has watched the toon already knows that but the hit when we see the bones of Gyatso, after sending two episodes with Aang being a goofy lil ten year old.....yeah, it won't make as much of an impact for new people coming in.

Hey Katara....WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING IN THE FIRE NATION BOAT!? WHY ARE YOU PRACTICING BENDING IN THE FORBIDDEN BOAT!?

Good sibling dynamic, off to a very good start.

Wait, she's not allowed to practice?? I thought the writers said they were ditching the sexism??

Hmmm, no, no. I liked it better when Katara got pissed and cracked the ice so Aang could come up. Also she's very meek so far. Sokka snaps at her to quit worrying about waterbending and she just...backs off?? I'm reaaaaally hoping that this issue will not stick.

Sokka...the boat is still close enough to grab....just...get it...

Oh hi Zuko! Did they do your scar right this time?

Nope! You showed SEVERAL people being BURNED ALIVE, but Zuko just forgot to put on sunblock? Did...did everyone just MISS the fact HALF HIS FACE IS BURNED TO HELL?!

Also, apparently, Katara just trying to pull the boat was enough to crack the iceberg?? No, still liked it better when she got mad and snapped open half the ocean. (do not make her meek, do NOT make her meek, I will tap out if you took her fucking fire)

Sokka: Nice, we're not gonna die. K, okay, that was funny. Good thing you're still funny so far Sokka.

....I don't know why yet.....but I don't like this Iroh....he's too....upfront.

Wait, Zuko is looking to get the throne??? wtf, NO, that makes his motivations just like every other fire nation General or Noble. I liked it better when he was a kid desperately trying to get back into his dads good graces by restoring his honor. wtf is this 'I am destined to be fire lord' bs?!

Okay, Aang can just FLY NOW! I GUESS!

Wh- why is Gran-Gran reciting the intro. WE JUST SAW THAT! I FEEL OFFENDED THAT YOU KEEP REPEATING INFORMATION TO ME!

Yeah, just cause you recited the og intro doesn't make you clever! That was a weird-ass segue into that.

Gran-Gran might as well have an 'Inset coin for exposition that we just saw' sigh on her neck.

OOP! There's Iroh aaand he's gone...you had it and then you didn't.

There's some Katara bite. More of that, please.

No, no, I don't like Sokka just going straight to 'Turn Anng over to the fire nation' Yeah, his attack was pathetic but at least he FOUGHT in the cartoon. Here he's just 'welp, see ya kid' ....guess they had to replace the sexism with just zero empathy.

Yay, Katara has some bite! ....shame it undermind Sokka.

The scene cuts are weird...the pacing just jumps all over the place.

I do not like Iroh flipping between 'serious, straightforward' and 'lol, I'm just a silly old man' PICK ONE!

Oh so NOW Aang suddenly can't fly.

Called it, having Aang know what happened right off the bat makes the impact hit less. So him going Avatar mode feels outta place as hell.

Again with the weird scene cuts.

Pft, aw, Zuko has a conspiracy board

Aaaand that was episode 1

....This feels like a checklist. Like when Disney remakes just go through all the most memorable bits of the cartoon because 'thats what the people want, right?' But they're skipping around all the buildup that helped MAKE those highlights hit so hard.

Scenes are rearranged and there is potential there but the choices made just...undermine the moments that are supposed to really hit us.

The kids do well acting but Gran-Gran looks like a younger woman with a wig on and all she does is quote the cartoon.

Katara has moments where her spitfire personality comes through but most of the time shes being very meek and backs down from conflict. The only time she doesn't is to convince Sokka 'hey, don't sell out the 10 year old to the fire nation.

And this is having the same pacing issues that the Live film had. They rush scenes that need to be slow and hold on bits that don't need to be slowed down.

I give the show props for effects and occasionally the bending looking good and for showing people being burned alive but the things it does right are outnumbered by the wrongs so far.

Maybe it'll get better as it goes but...I doubt it.

[mlbpotter]

Sole Crusher and why I hated it.

Ahh, one of the most prodigious episode for Zoe-fans.

You see, we see Zoe in a car touring Paris as she came from New York. She entered a bakery to get something for her family (A.K.A Audrey) Marinette entered, and slipped on the floor, but Zoe being who she is, clever perfectionist, nimble, quick blah blah blah, whatever the directors want to show us, caught Marinette in a blink of an eye.

In irl, I think if somebody did slip, in front of me, I’d be too shocked to react in seconds. I’d be gaping, mouth open, too shocked to catch anyone.

Ahh, well, Marinette then talked to her a little, learnt how she only had one friend, made some of us feel pity for her (eh, Thomas). So, NOW THE NEXT PART REALLY GETS ME! Marinette didn’t know who this unknown Zoe girl was (could be a thief, murderer, kidnapper idk) yet she gave away her phone number, free pastries, and invited her to HER FRIEND’S CONCERT! OMG you dumass, you don’t just give away these things to unknown people!

Well, still, moving on, zoe went back to the car, and to the bourgeois hotel. She gave away the pastries to the driver saying her family preferred sour from sweet, meaning they were not exactly caring. Just showing what a bad mother Audrey is, Zoe, like Chloe tried to act all snobbish and mean to get her mother’s attention.

To keep it short, Zoe met Chloe and they had a very meaningful conversation. But the thing that bugged me the most was that what Chloe said. 'Your father exists only to do whatever you want, whenever you want.'

Huh? Forgot this, in origins pt.2? This shows that chloe actually loves her father.

Also, Chloe was shown locking Sabrina in a locker, and forcing her to do her homework.

......

So how do u explain this?☝️

Chloe cares about Sabrina. Thomas really ruined Chloe's character her smh, in sole crusher.

Anyways, Chloe took Zoe to the school in a limousine, with Sabrina running behind them!

BrUh, thomas? R u serious? This is a kids show, no? You are supposed to show how to be considerate, not treating ur friend as slaves!

After some more uneccessary chloe-being-cruel moment, Chloe introduces everyone to Zoe.

She says, that Zoe needs a guy to pamper, who is preferably rich....wow, Thomas you already destroyed Adrien's friendship with Chloe, what more do u want?

When Zoe pretended to hate Marinette's macaroons, Sabrina started idiolizing her immediately. SABRINA ALSO NEEDS CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT!!!!!

Obviously, Chloe 'tried' to teach Zoe some mean habits, and Marinette was confused about the way she acted so differently at school.

Being Marinette, she texted Zoe about the the confusion, and obviously blamed Chloe. When Chloe found out that her sister was texting her arch-enemy Marinette, she became furious.

Zoe lied and said that she was planning to humiliate Marinette. One of the worst things about Zoe is that she tries to change her nature just to meet up the needs for others. Chloe only does that to impress her mother.

Zoe went up the blacony, and was met by Andre, Chloe's father, who tried to console her, by telling her his own dream. Ok, listen up, how come Andre is only nice to his step-daughter, in a fatherly way??? And treats Chloe like a spoilt queen?? What kind of a father u r, even though u know that's wrong? Ugh

Anyways, the part where Andre wanted to be a film director was pretty cool. Again, we get some background history about the character. And yes, he listened to Audrey, about being rich, not a film director, blah blah blah, showing again how bad of a wife Audrey is.

Then, we discovered that Zoe wanted to be an actress for no good reason, and yest, admittedly she is pretty good a hiding her emotions and 'acting'.

This is how Andre tried to cheer up Zoe, but obviously made the situation worse, as she only thought about the way Chloe, treated her, and not her mother. So yeah, She only has a grudge against Chloe, again showing how horrible and cruel Chloe could be, right?

Just because Chloe said, 'You either step on other people, or I step on you!' This is so out-of-character for, Chloe. She would never say that, I reckon this much.

And there we go, Zoe reluctantly wears the diamond shoes, and becomes akumatized by shadow moth.

So, her power was touching other people with her shoes, and she became bigger.

Sole crusher, found Chloe in her room taking selfies of herself, to shoe how vain she was and how much she admired herself. Ummm..when did Chloe have an obsession with taking her photos? Except maybe in the episode where Marc was akumatized.

Chloe caught a glimpse of Sole Crusher, on her mobile's photo.

She said, 'How come you are using my image without my authorization?' Old Chloe loved to be idolized, so out-of-character.

So, when Chole discovered that it was Zoe, she began running like she was in a marathon, which was again out of character, as she wouldn't run, it'd be too much of work for her.

I think the running was just to show how bad of a character Chloe was, as she pushed Marinette's parents and Marinette herself towards Zoe, to show how cruel, evil and selfish she really is.

Another thing, I think that the kwamis shouldn't be allowed outside the box very long, as someone might catch them, like Chloe almost did.

So, the reason Sole crusher didn't step on Marinette, was because Marinette is the main character of the show, and she just can't be in a dangerous situation (Thomas logic). It'd made a great plot if Marinette was crushed by sole crusher. It would keep the viewers on their toes.

Eh, well, To make look Chloe worse, they made her run further, and order Zoe to literally step on the 'losers'. AKA rest of Marinette's classmates. (Do students really meet each other like this irl?)

So Marinette discovered that Zoe was Sole crusher, and gave some advice.

Marinette: That's not true, you don't need to crush on anyone. The 'winner' and 'loser' thing doesn't exist. It's just people, each one with your differences and unique features. (after Chat Noir interrupted) Zoe, no one will judge you here. You can be yourself! You can trip, you can fall, there's always going to be someone to help you stand up. I will always support you!

Shadow moth manipulated Zoe again, So Chat Noir tripped sole crusher giving Marinette the chance to run away and transform in a place that no one can see (totally). Since Tikki followed Marinette, and Kaalki alerted Adrien about the akuma, they both were able to transform.

Since I am no good at writing battle scenes, I'll tell the main points. Ladybug used her lucky charm, and got a shoe horn. So basically, Chat Noir and ladybug both destroyed the heels of Zoe's shoes, but the akuma didn't come out. Chloe insulted sole crusher, and got crushed.

Chloe : Look at how you're treating ur very expensive shoes! Go back to wearing you hideous and plain sneakers.

So ladybug figured out that the Akuma must be in those sneakers Chloe mentioned.

So the team tried to find out those sneakers in Chloe's house. Ladybug saw Sabrina in the closet, yet asked her about the sneakers, and ignored her. Wow, shoe some empathy ladybug, or even Chat Noir!

They saw Andre, and he told them where the Akuma went. So basically Andre showed them the box, and was so scared of Audrey, that her had hid those directories a secret from her. Since that box was not opening, ladybug used her shoehorn to open that box thingy. Long story short, ladybug repaired everything, and gave Zoe the lucky charm, and left.

Skip to the noon, where Zoe went to the concert she was invited in, and Chloe still believed Zoe's lame story about humiliating Marinette, and was super pissed off when Zoe ate the macaroons.

So yeah, Zoe apologized about her akumatizatidon, and told her 'tragic' backstory. She didn't want to disappoint her family's expectation, so she pretended to be mean.

In her boarding school, she was being bullied, and pretended to be someone she was not.

And since er...the miraculous fandom characters are so 'different' and tried to be nice to her, which was pretty cool of them....

Chloe demanded that Zoe leave for New York, but Andre was pretty cool about it, and made a lame yet nice excuse for her, to be enrolled in anther boarding school. So she had a different room. Obviously, the creators showed how err..awesome Zoe is as she said to Andre, 'Promise me that you are not going to give up on your dreams for too long.' But Andre's dream was very irrelevant, as nothing of that sort was mentioned after that.

Zoe's new found friends helped her become a better person, and there were some ending pics of her.

Zoe's message to Marinette was pretty cheesy ngl. But if only Zoe was introduced as a character who didn't out smart her sister, I would honestly love her so much!

(If my dumb shit post doesn't get famous, I will quit. I literally worked so hard for this post, and also had to rewrite it multiple times)

[fanfiction-funtime]

Self insert oc: Alexander Vodka

AKA: Eis Cay'zar

Author of fate

A writer from Schneznaya who was driven from his home for his anti-Tsaritsa paper.

_____________________

Physical description:

A chubby fellow in a 1950's style noir trenchcoat and hat, some would even say he looks like he jumped right out of a noir comic book and into reality. He has brown hair and green eyes, a cowboy mustache, and a pointed beard like some kind of comic book supervillain genius.

He often acts confidently and even a bit egotistical when in places he's recognized and famous in, however in newer places he often seems distant and shys away from almost all contact.

Noone knows where his vision is, but they know he has one because of the cold aura that surrounds him.

At night he'll often trade his outfit for one more reminiscent of demons or vampires.

_____________________

Abilities:

Weapon type: Catalyst

Basic attack-truth: uses his catalyst to shoot a short burst of up to 3 ice shards, can attack in fast succession.

"Truth hurts, especially in bursts"

Charged attack-Bifrost: Alexander quickly makes an ice clone behind the enemy and fires 6 shots, this can increase to 3 clones if charged enough(times: 1 for 1 second, 2 for 2 seconds, and 3 for 2.5 seconds)

"I hate crowds, best company has always been myself"

Elemental ability-ice wall: creates an aura of sheer cold around himself that will damage enemies the more they stay in it, and apply the normal sheer cold to them. Does not affect party.

"My therapist said I put up walls because of trauma, but I couldn't hear them through the wall I had just built"

Elemental burst-a story to be told: Alexander takes out his book and opens to a random page, then randomly summons ice sculptures of one of 8 beings:

"Aster": this summon looks like the flatwoods monster, it surrounds the party in a swirl of ice blades that deal 2X damage as the character for 10 seconds.

"Who needs brawn, when you got brain"

"Ultimate foe": a demonic, pointy being of shadow. Will independently deal 25000 damage to three random foes.

"Meet my penultimate friend"

"Beethoven": a sculpture reminiscent of a ww1 zombie general, calls down a barrage of ice bombs that deal 5000 damage to enemies hit for 7 seconds.

"Good scifi doesn't predict, it prevents"

"Sorrows Joy": an angelic, faceless, robot like humanoid that spawns 25 angel shaped traps that freeze enemies around the character.

"With any luck, you're the only real one I've made"

"Death rider and the magic prince": two statues, one of a mummy like Schneznayan mystic of ancient barbarian times and the other an elven cavalry knight from the myths of mondstadt. The knight gives the party a 45% boost to speed and attack while moving, and the Schneznayan gives +10% damage bonus to elemental skills and +55% damage bonus to Catalyst.

"Feel the wrath of honor long passed"

"Zero point and Lion queen": a knightly man of spiked armor and a golden ottoman warrior woman whose golden chain completely obscures her head. Your enemies become inflicted with pyro and you are surrounded by thorn bushes that deal continuous damage of 1000 for 10 seconds.

"Walk down the way on a moonlit day"

The traveler: a child in a red straight jacket, his binds become undone after 4 seconds at which point all enemies take 10,000 X Alexander's level of damage.

"I uh,wont have to pay any copyrights will I?"

"Giota": a child in pyjamas who looks ready to sleep, this summon is very rare. It fully restores all party members and gives a 200% boost to both defense and damage of your characters.

"This fella's been with me since I was a kid"

"If it is a soldier's duty to escape the confines of a prison, is it not every person's duty to escape reality if even for a moment? A wise man said that, pray that I may one day be like him."

Passive-part the wasteland: Alexander is immune to sheer elements, and Grant's 50% resistance when in the party to all members.

_____________________

Story

Abandoning a dream

As a kid, Alexander was always put down when he said he wanted to write fiction, "there's no money in it" they all said.

He couldn't get into any art schools without support so he focused his mind elsewhere, a place he could hopefully use his writing to do just as much good: the first newspaper in Schneznaya.

Horrible truth

He didn't start as a trouble maker, but the more he sought out the truth the more he couldn't stand back and watch. He published numerous papers about the Tsarista's wrongdoings and the crimes of the fatui, how they would harass merchants in other nations, the unfair taxes many shipping businesses had to keep quiet about, all the way up to the war crimes the Tsarista had done in direct contradiction to her own laws.

Sadly, not many believed him even with evidence, but some got his message.

Those who fight

One day Alexander was approached by a man who claimed to have formed a resistance against the fatui. Alexander had inspired many people to disrupt the organization, and have even begun working with those outside Schneznaya.

With their help he didn't just publish some crimes, he published them all, he even got information that turned the general public against the fatui even if just a little.

In a way h had achieved his dream of helping others with his writing, even if it wasn't how he wanted.

Stop the presses

When the Tsarista started her big move of taking gnosis, she brought the hammer down on dissent like a boulder on a ten year old's wrist. One day a squad of thirty fatui stormed Alexander's home and business to silence him, and while they shut down his business they couldn't catch him.

Alexander fled into the wastelands of ice and snow and wasn't seen for several weeks.

Deus ex Vodka

One day Alexander showed up in Inazuma, a nation that had been oppressed for some time now and had recently reached it's height, yet no resistance had formed.

That was until Alexander came along.

Alexander published numerous books, spreading them throughout Inazuma. All of them spoke of freedom, of bravery, of rising up to achieve your ambitions.

And with those stories he inspired countless to take up arms, and in turn inspired countless to join the resistance.

And with mere fiction he had brought about hope,

And with mere fiction he shall do it again, in every form, and in every nation.

Vision: cold hearted

While wondering the waste Alexander fell down and looked to the skies.

He did not ask celestia why, he did not grieve or blame that he did not do more, instead Alexander did something he hadn't done in a long time:

He imagined.

And after he imagined he took out his notebook and wrote. In the freezing cold for seventeen days he wrote stories of hope and freedom.

For seventeen days the cold did not so much as cause him to flinch as he wrote tales of bravery.

For seventeen days Alexander Vodka lived how he wanted to live.

And at the end, he lied down to die.

Then a light shown, and when he opened his eyes to look he saw that the storm parted around him, and in his hand was an ice blue gem.

But Alexander was too paranoid from years of abuse from his peers as a child to wear it loosely, and far to extra to just get a lock. So instead Alexander shouted to celestia "if I shall have this Vision for my art, then it shall not kill me no matter what I do!"

He then shoved the vision into his heart and fell down.

Before he could bleed out however, a woman appeared.

"Hey Tsari, how ya doin." Alexander said as blood poured out his mouth.

"You dramatic fool," the Tsarista sighed as she put a hand on his chest, "you have my element, do you know how bad it'll look for me if you die by shoving your vision into your heart?"

"Why do you care? We hate eachother, in case you forgot."

The archon sighed, "you're just rebelling against what you see as unjust, just as I am. To be honest I feel a sort of rivalry with you, so it'd be a shame if you just died. Also," she painfully shoved the vision all the way in, painfully, "if your going to die it better be because of me, got it?"

Then Alexander sat up, and the god was gone. Along with the hole in his chest.

"Rival of a god eh?" He sat up, putting his gat back on his head, "I like the sound of that."

_____________________

How is this an insert?

Well his story can't be the exact same as mine, so I took my life and goals and made predictions, then fictionalized those predictions and expanded.

His appearance is pretty close to how I'll likely look based on my current appearance, and his dramatic attitude is exactly how I wanna act.

Him being shy in new places with strangers is me exactly as I am now really, however I do believe I'd act confidently if I were famous so he does as well.

Him being Catalyst is because I'm not athletic at all, and I figured a dps Catalyst would be cool. His main ability and resistance/immunity to sheer cold is based on how I wrap up in warm blankets when it's cold, and his ultimate is made up of characters I've made.

_____________________

Tagging: @genshin-obsessed, @golden-wingseos, @storytravelled, and @love-psxlm

[echo-three-one]

Whatever It Takes

It's Task Force 141's first mission after gathering intel about the whereabouts of Samantha Coleman. Gary and the rest of the team proceed to briefing and would probably head straight to their rescue mission. Do these mini summaries even make sense? Find out soon.

Chapter 3 to another story made by Ray (echo-three-one) Comments and Reviews appreciated! I hope you enjoy! Love you all ❤️

Previous Chapter : Soap - F.N.G.

"Run Through the Jungle"

Gary "Roach" Sanderson

Task Force 141

Task Force 141 - Mess Hall

Gary was almost done with his raccoon story when the PA system alerted them of an immediate briefing. Simon nodded to him and got up making his way to the briefing room. Gary also noticed the rest of his squad from earlier walk to the door, and was France crying on Alex? Much to his curiosity, he went to John who was still sitting by the chair.

"Anything you want to tell me, Soap?" he asked, patting his comrade's shoulder. 

"Bugger off, mate. Let's just go to the meeting." he replied, Roach couldn't tell if he was sad or disappointed or mad, but it may have something to deal with France crying.

"Whatever mate. I'm always here if you want to talk it out." he assured, and he was in fact true. It's been a month since the Task Force was created and Gary was the team's therapist, everybody's friend and ally no matter what. He always felt that he could feel everyone's emotions and believes he could be a sponge for someone who's unable to deal with the trauma. Ghost was one of his customers, he had a lot to deal with and Gary was always there for him.

"Few hours ago, our informants intercepted with a group of armed men on a safehouse near the borders of Germany. They told us that there was a man named Augustus who happens to be our step closer to Nero." Gary took note of the information General Shepherd relayed, his scribbles became faster as the General continued.

"We also received word that our hostage, Samantha Coleman is with them in one of these houses. We have to proceed with caution as this area may be rigged with traps or surrounded with tangos." he added.

"As for rules of engagement, fire only when fired upon. This is a local settlement and civilians may be anywhere. We don't want to create unnecessary civilian casualties just to retrieve a single person." he instructed. Gary took a quick survey of the room, everyone looked at the screen intently, he could see MacTavish's eyebrows furrowed in anger, France's eyes were downright sad and Alex, despite being a CIA agent, actually looked worried.

"As for assignments, I'll let your captain take the floor." Shepherd concluded and exited the area, Price then stepped forward and began briefing.

~

The silent chirping of the crickets echoed from the nearby forest. Gary took a cold exhale and leaned on the railings just outside their quarters. 

"Big day tomorrow, huh?" Ghost surprised Roach as he spoke.

"Yeah, it's been a long time since I spotted, but I still know the basics." Gary answered. He and Ghost were assigned for sniper support a few clicks away from the Alpha Team lead by Alex and the Bravo Team lead by Captain Price.

"Your math is good and fast?" Ghost asked, chuckling at the question. Gary inhaled before he answered the question.

"Yeah. Try me." he dared, glancing at the masked man.

"Suppose there's a target about 516 meters far, the wind is one half value." Ghost planned out the situation. Gary's gears started turning as he scratched his freshly shaven chin.

"Five degrees. Descending." he muttered. Ghost thought about it and agreed.

"Yeah. Your math is still on point." he mused laughing at him.

"What do you think Nero is up to? I mean it all doesn't add up. And what's with erasing memories?" Gary flooded the man with questions. Simon just pondered without saying any words.

"I dunno mate. I'm as baffled as you are." he replied, waving to Alex and France who were out on a late night walk.

"Say Gary, what's the deal with the new girl? One minute she looks tough as nuts then the second Soap comes in she's fucking crying?" Ghost rambled. Gary could feel a hint of jealousy but not entirely. It's as if he's mad and jealous at the same time.

"Well, we were too far from their table and I couldn't hear anything. Maybe they had an argument while Soap was out with her on the training room?" Gary speculated, he saw Simon's fists clench as he left his side.

"Eh. Not that I care anyway. Get some rest, spotter. Big day tomorrow." he remarked and went to his room.

"Yeah yeah." he replied waving at the two walking around the oval. They both waved back and Gary yelled good night to them before entering the quarters himself.

Gary plopped on his bed and closed his eyes. He was actually nervous enough that he could hear his own heartbeat, he took deep breaths and lulled himself to sleep. He wanted to see to it that they save the hostage tomorrow and a perfect sleep is what he could contribute right now.

GERMANY

0458H

Gary hated the ghillie suits. It was heavy, uncomfortable and animals sometimes land on you, but it does the job well. Treading the dense forestry just above the safehouse, Gary and Simon head out to look for a perfect spot.

"This one's got a view of the houses." Ghost whispered, signaling Roach to move forward.

"This is Echo Three One, we've cleared the two houses on the right, all empty. Over." Alex reported over their comms.

"Bravo Six copies that and the two houses here are also clear." Price reported.

"Looks like it's going to be the one on the far side." Soap concluded.

"I've got eyes on the safehouse. There's no activity on all windows. Proceed with caution." Ghost reported.

"Rog." Price replied.

"Copy that, eye in the sky." Alex replied.

Gary put out his spotting scope and placed his eye behind the lens.

"I've got my eyes on them, Ghosty. Alpha Team is on its way." he whispered.

Ghost rolled some knobs on his sniper making a soft clicking sound as he spins it.

"Don't call me that, Bug. I have eyes on Bravo Team. Still no movement from the safehouse." 

"This is Alpha Team, approaching the left side of the safehouse."

"Bravo Team is Oscar Mike as well."

"Roach, did you see that?" Ghost whispered.

"Yeah. The winds are shifting." Gary noted, sticking out a tool that detects wind speed.

"Three Fourths value at 400 meters. 15 miles per hour. Adjust to 15.3" he informed, calculating on Ghosts still shoulder with a pen. Decimals are too dangerous to calculate mentally. Ghost's sniper clicked once again to adjust with the wind, he took a deep breath and his targets stabilized once again.

Leaves rustled behind them, Roach quickly held on his rifle and slowly turned back to check if it was an animal. Nothing, but before turning back on his scope, he saw a black figure from the corner of his eye.

"Bollocks. We've got movement on our Six." Roach reported. 

"Remember our ROE, Roach. Fire only when fired upon." Price reminded.

"I'll take care of it from here. You go check on that." Ghost said as he turned back to his scope.

"Roger that. Be safe." Roach quickly ran to the direction if the rustling.

He couldn't make out much of the figure, but he was sure enough it was human. He tried to look for areas where the leaves were disturbed but with the wind picking up, he was clueless. Then there it was again, movement. He quickly dashed to it's direction, not wanting to get lost again. His boots slapped the fresh soil as he made his wauy to a clearing.

'Left, right then left by the rocks.' Gary mentally noted his each turn so he could easily remember but when he's chasing someone whom he felt like it doesn't know where it goes, then it's a whole different story.  

Gary was alone in the windy forest, in pursuit of a person who's out on the woods at five in the morning. He wanted to go back but there's something that bothered him and convinced him to keep chasing it.

"Roach, you okay? They're almost in the safehouse." Ghost pointed out.

"Yeah haaaah… I'm still haaaah… hot on its trail." Gary panted. He suddenly turned when he heard a yelp.

"It's a girl. It might be our hostage." he radioed and followed the direction of the sound.

Soft sobs and English curse words could be heard from where Gary emerged. This alerted the injured female and she plead at the British solider.

"Please. I'm not an enemy. I'm I'm- I don't know who I am or where I am… Please. Don't hurt me." She was an American girl, possibly around 20-30 years old and had blonde hair wearing a black tank top and grey sweatpants, there were a few bruises on her arms and she was threatening him with a stick.

"Maam, put down your weapon and calm down. I will not hurt you." he dropped his weapon slowly on the ground stepped forward, his hands both raised.

"Good good. I need help." she whimpered, looking at her sprained ankle.

Gary immediately took his ghillie off and ripped a piece of his sleeves to wrap around the sprain, treating it with something from his medical kit.

"There you go… You're feeling better now? Maam?" Gary accommodated. The unknown blonde nodded in agreement.

"So.. you don't know who you are?" Gary asked.

"All I know is that I'm with another girl, Brunette." she added.

"I located the one out on the woods. She's American but I can't ID her. She's about 20 - 30 years old, short blonde hair." Gary informed.

"Is that Maxine?" Alex and France simultaneously replied over comms.

"Excuse me. Do you go by Maxine?" Gary asked politely. The girl quickly covered her ears and screamed.

"Aaaaaah! My head hurts!" She yelled. Gary was quick enough to cover her mouth as soon as she opened it as to not give away their presence.

"I don't know if that's a yes or a no guys. But that definitely is a reaction." Gary said over the comms. He assisted "Maxine" and lifted her up as he tries to get back to Ghost.

"Thick trees everywhere. Any Idea where you are Ghost?" he asked over the secure radio.

"I'm at the same spot I've been since we got here. Can't you retrace your steps?" he replied.

"I could try." he muttered, carrying an unconscious woman on his shoulders across the jungle.

Next Chapter : Déjà vu

[eyitsroseau]

Across the World Part 1 (Dr. Xeno dad! x Reader) Dr. Stone fanfic | A mini-series

This will be in two or three parts. I don't know yet. But I hope you like it!

Part 2

Part 3

In which you found out you were pregnant pre-petrification to your long time boyfriend NASA scientist, Xeno. However, when you told him the news, he wanted nothing to do with it because his top priority is his research. Hurt, you decided to find refuge and start anew in the country you have always wanted to live in, Japan. Post-petrification and Senku announced they'll be traveling to America. As you have lived there before, they took you and your one-year-old daughter along. Now, thousands of years later, you'll find yourself face to face with the man who had hurt you the most across the world.

"Hey, babe?" Your nervousness seeped out of your body and your trembling hands are the evidence.

"Yeah? Look, my mentee from Japan messaged me. Looks like he's building a rocket again. Hmmm. All he needs is niobium-alloy nozzle..." he replied, giving you his divided attention. Again.

"Uh, babe?" You said a little louder this time. Sensing your urgency, he sighed and faced you fully.

"What is it?"

"This may sound shocking but, I'm... pregnant," you finally announced, clutching at the hem of your shirt while you waited for his reply.

You know this is unexpected but he'll take responsibility, right? Right? But the nagging gut-feel inside you knows what his answer will be.

With a straight unforgiving face he replied,

"I don't want it."

Remember that pain. Remember the hardships you went through. Remember how you wanted to go far away from the man that hurt you the most. Remember how he never contacted you even a year later. Remember how he didn't even ask for your child- the daughter he never got to meet.

Your daughter, oh God, your daughter! Never forget the way her eyes glimmer when she's with you. Never forget the smiles and giggles she reserves for you. Never forget how she nuzzled you on her first birthday. Never forget the time when you are taking her for a walk near a high school and suddenly you saw a blinding light which rendered you motionless.

Remember those memories again and again. Don't you ever dare forget any little details. No matter how much time passes, always remember.

Never forget.

Suddenly, you feel something cracking. And for the first time in what feels like forever, you can see the light. Your eyes widened when you see trees surrounding you. Not only that but the stone that seemed to cover your body begin to crumble. Little by little, you are gaining back your motility, and you have never felt so refreshed.

When you are finally free, you stood with shaking legs while scanning the area. Where are you? Are you still in Japan? How many years have passed?

Then, something hits you. Where is your daughter? Oh my god! Where is she? She couldn't be separated from you right? You have held her tightly when you saw that light. Panic and worry surged through you and you were about to set out and find her when you heard a familiar song.

Snapping your attention to where the noise came from, you realized that it was the lullaby you have always sang to your daughter, Xenka. Your feet had already started moving before you can register anything.

Alas, there in the middle of the forest, your daughter sat in front of a bonfire, grilling what appeared to be mushrooms. Taken a back, you only stared in shock when Xenka finally looked at you and the widest grin you have ever seen has graced her little face.

"Mama! You're back!"

You can't still wrap around the fact that your one-year-old daughter is facing you right now while talking about what she thought happened. Yes, your lovely Xenka who has not even said her first word before is now talking and had even made her own fire. Plus, she said she has been surviving for a week on her own.

"Sweetie, tell mama what happened when you're still a sto-"

"Mama, the perfect term is petrified! I told you I saw it in the dictionary, right?" your daughter pouted while crossing her chubby arms.

You chuckled. This situation is absurd but what can you expect from Xeno's blood daughter?

"Right, right. I apologize. Xenka-chan what happened to you when you are petrified?"

"I remembered I was really scared, mama! But you hugged me and told me to remember. But, I don't know what you meant so I remembered and studied again the words you taught me. I even memorized the books that I used to play with," she started. Well, what you were trying to say was that she has to remember that you love her. And the books she mentioned were from your roommate who is a researcher in the field of astrophysics and chemistry. You can also remember how Xenka used to scan your biology books.

You are surprised to hear that she basically became a genius over time. But to be honest you are not that surprised. She is Xeno's daughter after all.

A slight pang hit your chest when bitter memories started to fill your mind. As sudden as those memories come, they instantly go away when you feel your daughter sitting on your lap and cuddling you.

"I miss you so much, mama! You didn't hug me back when I awoke!" Her cries echoed through the vast forest and you can't help but to tear up also.

Your biggest fear is the thought that you lost her. Fortunately, your daughter is smart enough to survive on her own even just for a week. You cried with her as relief washed over you.

She must have been so afraid of being alone. And so, you let her wail for hours. It's alright, after all she's still a child. You held her close while whispering words of reassurance that from now on, you won't be separated anymore.

Once the two of you calmed down, Xenka reported that she saw what appears to be a tower when she was scouting the area. And with that, the two of you began your journey. But first, you have to make DIY clothes or else you'll walk in naked if there really is people around.

The stone statues that litter the forest is a little creepy. It reminded you of that village in Japan famous for their stone statues. It took you a day to finally arrive at your destination. That must mean that Xenka has wandered far from where you were depetrified.

To your utter shock, a big ship is what greeted you upon entering the village. What the heck? You feel your daughter squirm in your arms wanting to be set down. You obliged and followed her when she suddenly ran to the direction of the ship.

The nearer you got, the more you see that there are a lot of people gathered around. Hope blooms in your chest as you know now that you and your daughter will survive seeing as they have this kind of resources.

A group of people went down the ship and the villagers seemed to buzz with excitement. I was about to grab Xenka so we can introduce ourselves but to my surprise, she's already in front of a young man with white hair that turns green in the tips. That reminded you of a leek which Xenka hates.

"Eh? Whose kid are you?" the man said while picking on his ear.

You sighed and hurried to walk beside your daughter. Upon seeing you, everyone erupted to loud whispers, questioning your identity. Some people from the ship even took a defensive stance and had their weapons at the ready. You suddenly felt scared and the young man sighed.

"Oi, what the heck are you doing?" He scolded his friends.

"We don't know her. She could be an enemy. Protect the chief. Rules are rules," the tall man with glasses replied.

"I am ten billion percent sure that she's not. If I deduce it correctly, you have been depetrified on your own, right?" You nodded and then his eyes trained on the little girl who has already taken a bottle from his bag.

You tried taking it from her but it's too late as she poured it on your left big toe that still remained as stone. The two of you watched in wonder when it cracked and revealed your smooth skin.

You watched as your daughter crossed her index and middle fingers as she mulls over something. This scene is painfully familiar as it is also the same mannerism as her dad's when he's too deep in his work.

Like a light bulb suddenly lit up, the crease on her little brows smoothened.

"I see now. That concoction smells like nitric acid with ethanol. The place where mama and I laid had a cave that gave nitric acid from bats but it is now gone. I thought that it is one of the factors for depetrification. However, you have more bottles with it that means you have a continuous supply of those two."

Her lengthy explanation has not just amazed me but everyone around the area. Some even had their mouths hanging open.

"What the? How did she know that?"

"But she looks like she isn't even a year old!"

"Woah! That's crazy!"

You can't help but be proud as the villagers scream from disbelief. That's your daughter alright! Even if her intelligence didn't come from you. But she did came from you.

"Kukuku! You're not just an ordinary kid, right? Then answer my next question. We have no source of Nitric Acid as the cave has been destroyed. What mineral will make the production of Nitric acid possible?" He tested her with a smirk in his face.

However, your daughter also showed a similar smirk and faced him on, "Huh, easy! It would be platinum!"

He grinned and outreached his hand to her, "My name is Senku."

You see your daughter's eyes widen and you can see why. Someone who has almost the same name as her and a genius at that too?! Who wouldn't be surprised.

"Senku-niisan, I am Xenka! And that is my mother, Y/n," she introduced while pointing at me, "please let us stay here. I can help you with your work and mama can treat people. She's a nurse!"

The young man, Senku, looked at you and grinned, "Well first, you two need some clothes. Yuzuriha, take care of them,"

-------------------------------------------

It has been a few months now since you joined the Kingdom of Science. You are still at awe at how Sengku managed to build everything from scratch with the help of these young people.

It is also crazy how your daughter fits in the science team so easily. The gaps in her knowledge is easily supplied by Senku and the two grew even more closer. She really views him as her older brother. At this point, the two are inseparable. They even finish each other's sentences at times.

But the craziest of it all is that, you are now entering San Francisco California in the ship they made. You never thought that you'll go back to where you used to live. However, this is one of Senku's plan to go to the moon and you all need the corn here.

Apparently, they needed you because 1. you are a nurse and 2. you know the geography of the place- well at least from 3700 years ago. Also, your daughter has decided to go so you really had no choice.

It has been a few days since Perseus docked here. A few nights ago, Senku was shot and you have been tending him. Apparently, there's another Kingdom of Science here in America. It surprised the lot of you since they are already advanced in terms of weaponry but you believed that your team can handle it. They already have a plan to take their leader.

And now you are in a quest to find your patient who was out of his bed when you checked a few minutes ago. Little Xenka is even crying because she didn't know where her oniisan went to.

You are also silently fuming because you specifically told him to rest so his sutures won't break. Suddenly, you are being dragged. You were about to fight back (Kohaku taught you basic self-defense) but when you see the dazzling suit of the butler, yoi sighed in relief.

"Where are we going, Francois?" you asked.

"They seized their leader and we are going to escape. Senku still needs you to tend his wounds," upon hearing Senku's name, Xenka immediately stopped crying.

"I hope he's okay," she mutters while you tightened your hold on her.

"Don't worry, sweetie. We'll make sure to scold your oniisan, okay?" You tried cheering her up and it works. You wonder what's gearing up in that little big mind of hers.

The three of you made your way to a smaller boat that looked like a yacht. You guessed that they hijacked it from the enemies. Without wasting a second, you and your daughter roamed from room to room for your leek-y boy.

You and your daughter's annoyance grew the farther you searched and alas, only one cabin remained. You and Xenka looked at each other and nodded. Without further ado, you kicked the door open, startling the two people in the room. However, the two of you are focused on Senku that you didn't even realize a man was standing beside him.

"You brat! What did I say about taking a rest?! If you want to bleed badly you can just say so!" You nagged at him while Xenka pouts and glares at him.

"Xenka is upset oniisan! You said you'll never leave my side!" she said and refrained looking at the boy.

"Y-y/n?"

Suddenly, it felt like a bucket of ice-cold water is poured on you. Even thousands of years have passed, you still remember that voice. It's the one that whispered sweet words in your ear at three in the morning but broke you in the end.

"Mama? What's wrong?" You felt two warm hands touch your cheeks but your gaze snapped and remained at the other man in the room.

"Xeno," you breathed.

Suddenly, a burst of memories that you had together appeared on your mind like a broken record. The first day you met, the day he asked you to be his girlfriend, the first time you kissed and made love, and then the last time you have seen each other. You realized you had so many happy memories together but it took less than ten minutes for it to shatter.

"Y/N, I-"

"I don't want to hear it," you said and was about to go out of the room but Xenka squirmed wanting to be out down. You hesitantly obliged.

She went in front of Xeno. The two stared at each other. White hair to white hair. Black eyes to (e/c). Indeed, looking at them like this just enhanced how they look so much alike.

Xenka crossed her middle and index finger which made Xeno surprised. You know he already knows who this child is. You're even sure that Senku must have known this the moment we entered the room or even way before that.

"I see, so you're my father. Based on mama's reactions and how you're not in my life, Xenka's 10 billion percent sure that you never wanted me," her little voice broke and it made your heart clench in hurt.

"Well, if you don't want us, Mama and Xenka don't want you either!!" She screamed and ran out of the room. Without hesitation, you followed the little girl out after glaring at Xeno.

You know that your daughter is hurt right now and she needs you the most. You find her hiding in one of the lower rooms. The sight shattered your heart and you immediately went to crush her in your embrace. This only made her cry more. Even at this young age, she understands what's happening. And for the first time, you wished she's an ordinary one-year-old.

[chaotichuman0090]

"His safest place" | Kayden Vescovi x Josephine Everhart

A/n: YESSS it's finally here!!!! My first fic! 🥳🥳 Well it was done a while ago (after a lot of planning), but I'm posting it now because I finally have some spare time and space lmao.😅

That being said, I didn't expect it to be so long (no pun intended). I should've probably split it in two parts but eh...

It's been a nice experience. Might do it again sometimes. I'd also prescribe a dose of Kayden to everyone here. I mean, just take a look at him.... *whew* 🥵

Oh, by the way, tell me if you catch any mistakes or weird typos, please. (english is my second language so I might get things wrong sometime).

This is set a few months after the end of the book.

Pairing: Kayden Vescovi - MC (Josephine Everhart) | The Royal Masquerade |

All characters belong to Pixelberry.

Vonberry is the name I gave to my dear bear cub, bless him! 🧡

Words: 3370

Warnings: N*FW content (basically the whole second part, no pressure; almost smut at the end of the first part too. Almost because... I just thought it would be too much for a first attempt)

Tagging: @walkerswhiskeygirl @masquerade-reimagined @kayann9

P.s. Thank you guys for your support!! I appreciate it and it helped a lot! Sorry to keep you waiting though..

I can't wait to hear what you think of this. Big hugs!

If you'd like to be tagged in future let me know!

Okay. Enjoy!!!

Annalisa paced the outside of Josephine's house, growing slightly unpatient, yet still feeling overjoyed at the thought of seeing her sister after so long.

It was well past noon when she arrived after a whole day journey. It didn't took much for her to take matter into her own hands and went to see how she's doing.

And today was a day she was looking forward to.

She scowled at herself and leaned her back against the railing and examined the little garden in front of her. Last time she had seen her sister was after King Fabian's coronation.

When she finally felt like she had enough of wating she decided to go inside, leaving the door open on her way in.

The sweet, delicious smell of fresh baked goods instantly reaches her nose as she quickly moved closer, she heard the faint sound of Josephine's voice and stops into the doorway without announcing herself yet.

"Vonberry, I told you before, you are not allowed in when I'm baking, you little... oh.." Josephine looked behind and stopped abruptly. It was safe to say she was taken aback by the person in front of her.

"Annalisa?"

She didn't have enough time to react as her sister enveloped her in a big hug that reminded them both of all the moments they've spent together at the Everhart estate.

"What... what are you doing here?" She stammered on her words, her eyes glossy and full of emotions accompanied by a big smile on her face.

"Well, forgive me for wanting to see how my dear sister is doing." Annalisa remarked quickly, puling back from the hug."I only hope you missed me just as much."

"You know what I mean." Josephine said, looking fondly at her.

"I suppose you've been quite busy."she said, looking around the messy room, with a grin on her face. There was flour and pastries of all kinds spread on the counter.

"I think I had spent all morning here."Josephine let out a long breath, the corner of her mouth curled upwards.

"Did you came all the way here alone?"She asked her sister, surprised.

"I did not came here on a fancy carriage with two white horses and dozens of sevrants anyway, if that's what you're asking." Annalisa stated with a lightly amused tone, expresing how giddy she felt about their reunion.

"I always knew you had an odd sense of humor". Josephine's eyes glimmered, matching the smirk in the corner of her mouth.

Their sweet joyful laugh echoed through the halls, in the whole house. Josephine decided to finish her task later, before joining her sister at the table, proceed on serving a cup of tea and carried on with the conversation.

"So, tell me, how did you adapt to your new life? And Kayden?" The question gained Annalisa a funny look and a quiet snort. To her disbelief she continued ..."He better treat you well or so help me-"

"Of course he does. He's... a dream come true" Josephine responded quickly, reminiscing about their wonderful, precious memories together, with a soft smile plastered on her face the whole time.

" I know, sister. I was merely joking." An easy smile replacing her previous frown.

"Anyone can see it on his face. He loves you with all his being. He would give his life only for you to be happy. It's a strong love. It's unbreakable." Annalisa said while looking her in the eyes.

"Speaking of which," Josephine spoke after a small pause. "I presume things are going well with Percival." She looked up, raising a brow, a teasing smile on her lips.

"Oh, you know how self-restraint he can be sometimes," Annalisa declared nonchalantly, "But we balance each other, since I'm an excellent lover, so to speak." She remarked with a grin, nodding proudly to herself.

A brief utterly childlike laugh escaped Josephine's lips, dissolving soon into a fit of laughter and her sister followed her soon.

"You're a breath of fresh air, Annalisa!" She said with a shake of her head.

The truth was she couldn't wait to spend the rest of the day in the company of her dear sister, catching up after long time away.

After Annalisa left, Josephine began preparing diner for her and Kayden, deciding on a delicious roasted chicken over a bed of fresh, hearty vegetables.

Everything was done by the time Kayden arrived home and she carefully put the meal on a tray with legs, picking out a few baked rolls as well, and took them to the table.

Needless to say the food tasted delicious as usuall, the rich aroma of the dish making her mouth water.

They ate in comfortable silence, listening to the wind gusting through the tree branches outside.

He watched her pick a small piece of meat off with her fingers and pop it into her mouth, chewing slowly.

A sweet smile reached her lips as she looked up at him, watching his hand that is holding the wine glass while picking at the food in his plate.

"I can tell your mind is full of busy thoughts without reading it. How can I help?" Josephine asked with evident concern, placing her hand on top of his.

Kayden looked down at their hands and mumbled something inchoerent, then cleared his throat.

He gave a quick shrug as a response while keeping his eyes on the table, looking lost in thoughts.

Slowly, he stood, and rounded the table to her, offering his hand. After a few moments she took it and he helped her stand but didn't go anywhere.

"Dance with me?" The question left his lips hesitantly, almost like he tried to restain his desire.

She agreed, allowing him to twirl her around, soon developing into a mix of passion and heavy, graceful footsteps without the steady drum of music.

They moved together, her arched back over a bridge of emotions, relishing the way their breath quicken with each step, feet guiding them across the floor, spinning, dibs, slow sways and more.

They danced for a while, the candlelight flickering shadows across the room. Nither of them said anything, feeling content with the silence.

Kayden was holing her, but not the way he held her the first time they danced, months ago, or even after that. He didn't hold her like she was his saving grace, his light in a world of darkness. Instead he held her softly and sweetly like they've been lovers for years. Like she was his safest place.

Josephine held him back that way, as she imagined a wife would hold her husband, lovingly, wrapping her arms tighter around him, closing her eyes and leaning in to rest her head on his chest.

Kayden welcomed her embrace, holding her tighter as well.

Their pace slowed and they stayed in one place , moving as only seemed natural.

"I love how we're always in perfect sync". Josephine said with a small smile playing on her lips.

Kayden did not reply to her straight away, instead he debates on a way to express his next words.

"With all the time I spent working these past few days," he continued carefully "I neglected you."

"Forgive me." Kayden's voice sounded tense and concerned for a moment; he looked deeply into her eyes, before kissing the top of her head.

"You need a break you know" Josephine gave a quiet sigh then raised on her tip toes to give him a delicate kiss filled with desire and devotedness, her hands sliding from his jaw to his hair, lips not breaking apart as their emotions took hold on them.

"I am taking a break now and... plainly wishing you would join me in our room later." His breathless, husky voice was close to her ear now, making the hairs on the back of her neck stand up.

"Careful, Kayden. I might just keep you there for good." Josephine went on, waiting for a reaction from him. Kayden just raised an eyebrow at her and smiled subtly.

"Or perhaps I have planed to spend my night with a new book." She teased , exchanging a smile with him.

"I don't believe that even for a moment." He murmured in a deep and low voice, his warm breath close to her forehead.

The two of them were aware of the unconditional love they held for each other. They whisperd it with each glance of their eyes and each brush or their lips.

Kayden was open now. He told her many things, stories of his life when he was a child, growing up at the Vescovi estate, as his father son, still unsuitable for that also. He told her how that place became devoid of any significance, of life, as he grew older and more resentful by it every day.

Josephine understood that he'd been spurred on by whispers of untold secrets and the unmistakable feeling of guilt and inadequacy resting on his shoulders for too long.

It brought her back to the realization that he was still haunted by old pains. Things that happened in the past that he'll never get over. She couldn't bear to watch that pain flood his eyes, not again. It would not be the reason it came back again.

But she knew well that whatever was holding him back before, would not hold him back from now on. In a whole chaotic and nosy world, they managed to find each other. She swore to cherish every moment she has by his side.This world has already lost its magic for some, that she knew.

Spine tingling sansations, carrying so much emotion that she believed they'd had both gotten enough, still they find themselves observing the backside of his palm reaching out to the surface of her neck, under her ear before leaning forward to place a few more kisses and soft bites. Truthfully, she was unable to find the right words, her whole body burning with passion as she felt a flooding urge in other hidden places, that Kayden was well aware of.

"You've had a long day too. What is absolutely necessary right now is a... foot massage." His tone making it plain he meant more than he said."I believe that would be rather satisfying."

That sounded more like a promise, she thought.

She hummed in agreement, followed by a short laugh, her head hiden in the crock of his neck.

"I'm glad you find me amusing" Kayden quipped instantly. Not waiting for another response, he lowered her in a graceful dip, her long hair now swaying close to the floor.

Josephine can only stare up into those impossibly beautiful brown eyes, watching with bated breath as they morph into her own, seeing their entire future layed out.

Kayden pulls her back with him squeezing her hands gently before releasing them and took a step back. His eyes lingered on her with anticipation of his next words.

He was tall, ethereal, intimidating and formidable to her.

"Take off your dress!" said Kayden, his voice soft but demanding, nodding to her simple thin red dress that she had on.

Josephine starts to strip the material off her skin, taking her time, while silently enjoying his half-lidded eyes still gazing hungrily over her. Upon seeing the way he was looking at her sent shivers down her spine.

Soon after she's done and left only in her undergarments, Kayden moves closer to her and brushed the hair from her face, sweeping all of it over one shoulder before gripping it in a strong fist like he can't hold back anymore.

He crashed his lips down on hers, his hands burried withing the strands of hair, urging her towards him. His other hand pressed at the small of her back and drew her closer, just as he angled his head to kiss her deeper, mingling their scents along with their lips.

Josephine felt like she was losing not only her footage but also her mind. She griped onto his broad shoulders, trying to get even closer, if that was possible.

He hummed something against her that got drowned in a kiss, but whatever he wanted to say was not important, she gathered as his lips moved down to her neck, tracing the pulse pounding against her skin with his tongue. A soft moan found its way out of her parted lips as Kayden firmly gripped her waist, trailing kisses down the exposed skin along the way, making her back arch up.

He took a moment to let her breath and, with a quick movement, tossed his shirt to the side,while she starts undoing the buttons of his trousers, letting them drop to the floor.

They stumbled carelessly around, heading for the bed, Kayden letting them both fall onto the soft matress. Their limbs were entangled together, under the warm quilts of the bed, hidden from sight; it was a special moment which only they were witness to.

_________________________________________

It was well past midnight when Josephine woke up suddenly, sensing the coolness of the room that was illuminated only by the starlight and the bright moon through the tiny window, casting them in blue shadows. She turned around in bed and sat still, rubbing her eyes and blinking slowly and just laid there wondering what cound have interrupted her sleep this early but did not ponder over it too much.

Shortly after, she found herself musing on the unforgettable events from last night, blood rushing to her cheeks at the thought. Looking over at Kayden who was still sleeping soundlessly next to her, his lower body covered by the blanket and his arm draped over her side of bed.

She had a crooked, sleepy grin on her face and brought her hand up to his face, touching his lower lip with the tip of her finger.

She was looking at him in awe, taking in the smoothness of his features illuminated by the moonlight. Kayden. Her Kayden.

After a few moments of deliberation she moved carefully, not to disturbe him, and climbed on top of him, straddling his hips.

Gently touching his cheek, she ever so slightly brushed her lips against his jaw. Of course he was too deep in his sleep to notice but it made her heart dance.

She then began nipping at his ear lobe, softly, with just a right hint of passion, then worked her way back, trailing lingering kisses from his stubbled jaw to his neck, down to his defined collarbone.

Josephine's hands travel from his chest down to the taut muscles of his stomach, sliping lower, caressing him through the material of his briefs and he harden further beneath her touch.

She could feel his arousal where she was straddling him as she pressed down on his hips, and it sent a bolt of heat straight to her core. She drew a slow, careful breath and her hands tightened around his shoulders.

A grunt slipped out of his parted lips, the sound matching the dark look in his now open eyes. He always found appealing that lascivious yet lovely look on her.

He lifted his hips, pressing his hardness against her and Josephine sighed and instinctively rolled her hips against him in return. Kayden hissed against her lips and his hands moved down, holding her tightly to him as he repeated the action.

Kayden kept his eyes closed momentarily and he took a deep breath, and then his eyes opened. Holding her gaze he rolled her on her back in a swift movement and pinned her beneath him before grabbing her face and slammed his lips to her.

This kiss was almost explosive, with the way they’d been teasing each other all day, and she moaned when Kayden nibbled on her lower lip before he dragged his mouth down her neck to the sensitive spot there. She practically melted against him, and she felt him smile against her as he tugged at her skin with his teeth, then lavished the spot with his lips and tongue.

Shifting his body and lowering his head, he circles her nipple with his tongue before tugging gently with his teeth, heaving her instantly whimper softly and arching into him.

"Ohh, don't stop." She gasped, panting for breath, her heart hammering in her chest, not daring to look away.

"Oh, I assure you, we're not finished yet." Kayden said, a mischievous smile tugging at his lips as he does so. He gave her that smoldering, piercing gaze that made her swallow hard and made a shiver run down her spine.

She knows that he's playing with her, making her wait when she can hardly bare it.

"I need you... please." her voice broke in a throaty whisper, and hearing that was all it took for him to stop and look at her one more time before his touch stirred every nerve in her body and brain.

She drew a sharp breath as he entered her in one, long, steady push; pulling all the way out, before he slid inside her again until he filled her completely.The muscles of her thighs tremble and then relax as his thumb massaged high on her inner thigh while his mouth worked its magic. 

Kayden quickly wraps a hand around her wrists and pins them above her head as he thrusts his hips into her, picking up his pace. Instantly she noticed that his eyes held a row intensity, never looking away from her.

Josephine savored the feeling of him inside her, moving only to lock her legs around his waist and pull him deeper.

Repositioning a hand between them, his fingers moved with purpose, using firm movements that weren’t too hard; slow enough to draw things out, but fast enough to keep building her pleasure.

He felt her tighten around him as he continued to thrust deeper into her, the action setting off another shattering moan from her.

A deep groan escaped his lips as the tension inside him coiled tightly and his thrusts becoming more erratic every passing second.

His hips now jolted hers, spearing her with each thrust until she was reduced to shuddering gasps.

"Kayden!" She gasped, barely able to get his name out, her toes curling and back arching into him as pleasure radiated throughout her body.

Kayden followed her shortly and, after a few more deep strokes, his body went rigid, shuttering in pleasure as he found its release, breath hitching and fingers digging into her flash.

Right after that, he collapsed on top of her with a heavy sigh, burying his head in her chest, still moving shallowly into her spent body, while she tenderly ranks her fingers through his hair, crooning at him.

He took a few moments to breath, then rissing up slowly, his strong arms supporting him above her, he kissed her swollen lips twice and paused and gave her a look that Josephine could only describe as love.

"What is it, love? Are you well?" She asked but he knew she was just teasing now from the evident gleam in her eyes.

"Trust me, I am. I'm just... taking you in." He whispered, not being able to retain the intimate tone in his voice.

"But I think I'll spare you the details." He chuckled when her face flamed up a little, being aware that she caught on the hint.

After what seemed like ages he moved himself from atop her, settling on his side and tugged the sheets around their bodies before wrapping her tightly up against his chest while pressing himself in closer somehow, to her, despite already leaving no space between them.

Josephine could sense the corners of Kayden's lips lifting up to a small smile before silence fell between them. She let herself get confortable in his soothing arms, in the quietness of their house, savoring the blissful afterglow, as every bone in her body relaxed and her covered chest slowly rose and fell, gentle breaths escaping her mouth.

The world can wait, Josephine thought. As far as she's concerned this man in her bed is the only world that matters, and she intends to give him just as much love and care, if not more so, as he gifts her.

[fortunatelyhauntedblackcherry]

Moonshine - A Beetlejuice Fanfiction 09

Warning: swearing (as always), BJ being horny, fire hazard.

The next day was monday, and every monday night since the girls moved together years ago was movienight. They prepared dinner together, bought a shitton of snacks, sat down on the floor in the living room and watched at least 2 movies. Most of the time they fell asleep during the third one.

So they were all in their kitchen, which had pretty peach-colored walls, a big window framed by curtains with various embroidered wildflowers on them, and olive green / beige french country-style kitchen furniture. Rei was making guacamole - which Sirius made quite a hard activity with all the jumping and whining for a piece of chips or basically anything delicious - while Sofía was talking about her business dinner from last night and Ari was sitting on the countertop, in the middle of the kitchen, eating Nutella out of a jar with a skull-shaped spoon. Minerva was laying beside her on her back, playing with a piece of breadcrust, getting occasional earscratchies.

- So I was like "No go amigo, I couldn't possibly share an exhibition with them" and my manager was like "why?" and I was like "because I'd have to be talkative and cute with them and man I couldn't" and he was like "but they are respected artists in the community" and I was like "yeah but they can't even use photoshop MICHAEL how could I work with people who are sooo past century"? - said Sofía, flipped her hair and took a sip out of her lemonade. - So yeah, he arranged the whole thing and now my coworkers for the next couple exhibitions will be not so known, but rising photographers instead of old people, isn't that awesome? - all of a sudden Minerva lifted her head up, pricked her ears and started to hiss in the entrance's direction.

Beetlejuice just arrived after his hunt for bugs in the winter garden. He was leaning against the entrance archway, and shaked his head in disappointment.

- I can't believe that you still hate me this much, you waste of fur. - the cat hissed harder. - What?!? Two can play this game, if you're not nice, I won't be either! - he pointed at Sirius, who let out one bark, then continued harassing Rei. - Look, even the dog got kinda used to me!

- I wonder what her problem is. - said Sofía while Ari pulled the kitty into her embrace.

- That's the point where you should tell them that "yeah she sees my demon buddy, yeah, we have a spectre, and I can hear him!" - said Beetlejuice in a girlish voice while he stepped closer to Ari. The girl stroked the slightly hissing Minerva, who was now laying on her lap. Ari licked her Nutella-covered spoon clean. Beetlejuice stopped in his movement and his jaw slightly dropped. He started to drool a bit. - Hooooly shit babes, it seems like you know how to turn my software into a hardware!

Ari blushed a bit and tried really hard not to giggle so she started to talk.

- ANYWAY... - that was way louder than she intended, so she cleared her throat - ...what did you do last night, Rei? - knowing exactly what happened to her poor sister (since after she got better, Beetlejuice told her everything), she was just curious if she would talk about the posession of her computer. Rei's ginger hair flew over her face as she turned to Ari and put the guacamole down to the countertop.

- Well you could say I was practicing poetry, since Robert Lewis Stevenson insisted that wine is bottled poetry, but to be honest after streaming I was just drinking and wondering what I wanted to be when I grew up... I'm sure it wasn't an anxiety ridden bitch disgusted by people with a wine problem, serving exactly those whom I disgusted by, but... - she put her hands up in the air - ...here I am! - she giggled as she turned to the fridge.

- So I suppose your "fans" were mean again? - asked Sof. Rei took some cheese out of the fridge, and scoffed while giving a piece to the very excited Sirius.

- Not mean, fuckin nasty. - she shut the fridge and rubbed the bridge of her nose under her glasses. - I mean, some of them spammed my IG DMs with requests of "please send me the bra you wore during today's stream, I saw the strap and I'm hooked", like... Ugh.

- Can't judge a man for wanting some lingerie from a pretty girl, that's my opinion. - said Beetlejuice while he hopped on the counter next to Rei.

- Jesus fuck people are weird... - commented Ari as she got off of the middle countertop. Minerva ran away to upstairs.

- Oh so that's the socially acceptable opinion now? Okay wait... - Beetlejuice cleared his throat and continued in a sarcastic manner, heavily gesturing while doing so. - OH YES PEOPLE ARE AWFUL UGH DISGUSTING EW HOW COULD SOMEONE ASK ANYTHING LIKE THAT EWEWEW. - his voice went back to normal as he looked at Ari, who just hugged Rei. - Was it good and totally believable? - Ari smiled and gave him a thumbs up behind her sister's back. - God I'm good! On the other hand, did I tell you that when I walked into Rei's room yesterday, I almost tripped on a bra? You could say... - he floated next to Ari's ear. The girl could feel his icy breath on her earlobe. - ...it was a booby trap. - Ari shut her eyes and bit her lower lip while smiling widely. - SERIOUSLY HOW ARE YOU NOT LAUGHING YOUR PRETTY ROUND ASS OFF, THAT WAS PHENOMENAL!!! - Ari let Rei go and went to one of the cupboards. Rei poured herself a glass of red wine.

- I don't even know why I'm getting upset by these kinds of shits anymore. I've been doing this job for years, I should be used to creeps. - she shrugged. - Eh, whatever, it felt nice to vent.

- And we're here to listen every time! - shouted Ari, head inside one of the lower cupboards, fistbumping the air. After some rummaging, she lifted her head out. - Hey guys, where did we put the ultimate bathbomb?

- What? - asked Sofía with a tilted head.

- The toaster. Obviously. - BJ slapped his knees as he started laughing.

- Gee, doll, that was good! Your humor is getting worse and worse under my influence and I'm living for it! - he scratched his head. - Wait, is that appropriate for me to say? Or should I say I'm dying for it? Since I'm dead? - he shrugged his shoulders. - I dunno both sound good.

After Sof got the machine out of one of the highest cupboards, Ari started making grilled cheese sandwiches. Beetlejuice floated right next to her and flashed a pretty evil, toothy grin. He wriggled his fingers while looking up at the ceiling lamp, which started to flicker. The girls quickly looked at each other but didn't say a thing. BJ giggled. Ari stuck the toaster's plug into the power outlet, which instantly made it sparkle. One of the sparkles fell on Ari's hand. She quickly got it away with a quiet "ouch", and looked at where Beetlejuice's very uproarious laugh came from. The angry face she made almost made the demon tear up.

- What? You thought I'd never mess with ya, doll? After seeing this face, I'll do it even more often, you angry little toddler you... - and with that, the lights flickered again.

- Am I hallucinating or did ya see that too? - asked Sofi, pointing at the lamp.

- Maybe it's just bad wiring... - said Rei, with a rather nervous chuckle. She didn't sound believable at all. - It's nothing to worry about...

- Oh so you think I'm nothing to worry about?! - said Beetlejuice with annoyement in his voice. - You underestimate me, little one. - he pointed at the chandelier in the living room and the lamp in the kitchen. They both started to shine and flicker in the same rhythm. The girls looked at each other.

- I'm pretty sure that's not bad wiring... I think... - one of the light bulbs in the living room shattered, stopping Ari for a moment. They all ducked as the light bulb in the kitchen exploded. - I THINK THIS HOUSE REALLY IS HAUNTED!!!

- THANK YOU! FINALLY! - shouted Beetlejuice, his eyes and his neon green hair glowing. - I'M FINALLY GETTING THE RECOGNITION I DESERVE!

- IT'S NOT, GHOSTS ARE NOT REAL! - shouted Rei, while trying to help Ari get hold of the angrily barking Sirius.

- It's scientifically proven that they are... - commented Sof.

- Shut up, I'm not superstitious like you two! I mean sure, weird things are happening in the house, like my PC acting strange, or the hairdryer sucking Sofi's hair in, but I'm sure there's a logical explanation!

Beetlejuice grinned like a maniac.

- Oh baby you really want logical explanation? You think there's any logic to ME? Then watch... This! - the demon cracked his fingers and chuckled as he looked at the plugged in toaster. Ari looked at the voice's direction and gasped when she saw what Beetlejuice was doing. The toaster's heating wires were glowing red hot, and an awful stench came from the machine. The smell of burning plastic.

- OH FUCKIN HELL!!!

- Who doesn't like a bit of electrical fire? - said Beetlejuice, laughing, looking at the infurious Sof. Ari quickly jumped up and started to go through the drawers quickly. Sof was quicker, she handed her the oven mittens, which Ari put her hands into and lifted the now flaming toaster.

- Okay... Now what? - Rei jumped up in panic too.

- What what?!?

- Where do I put it?!

- ARIADNÉ, YOU JUST LIFTED THIS FLAMING SHIT UP WITHOUT A PLAN?!?!?!?!

- I'M NOT A VERY BRIGHT WOMAN, OKAY?!?!?!? - Rei opened up the window and pulled the curtains back.

- THROW IT OUT!!! - Ari quickly threw the machine out of the window, into the birdbath that was under it. The flames started to fade and the girls let out a huge, relieved breath.

- Welp... I may sound like a hypocrite but... After this I think we're haunted. - Sofía and Ari both looked at Rei.

- You said, literally a minute ago, and I quote, that you are not superstitious like us two. - Rei threw her hands up in the air.

- I'm not superstitious! But I'm a... Umm a little bit stitious.

- Do you seriously think this is a right time for Office quotes? - asked Sof, with folded hands and an eyeroll.

- Hey this is how I cope! Toasters don't start spitting flames normally, man! That shit scared the living Hell out of me!

Ari bit her lower lip. A faint idea crossed her mind.

- Ummm... I think we should ask our presence what do they want. - the girls and Beetlejuice both looked at Ari with lifted eyebrows. - Sof, don't you have an Ouija board? We could ask them stuff and maybe help them out. So they won't cause trouble like this again. - Beetlejuice covered his smiling mouth with his hands.

- OHMYGOD BABES THAT'S A GREAT IDEA! I never tried playing with those things but...

- Okay let's do it. - stated Rei decidedly. - Sofía! Get your Ouija board. We're adjourning movienight. Let's ask this bitch what the everliving fuck is their problem!

[ineedahiddencorner]

6.23.20

One thing that I was just reminded of in a dream:

Part of the reason why I don't feel completely myself, no matter how well I fix my algorithm?

No real dancing.

I've been swing dancing since I was 13. I don't know the official date of my swingiversary (unlike some folk) because I was dragged along. My sister's then-boyfriend's sister was a regular there and had gotten my sister involved. My sister had been trying to get me to come for weeks. In theory, I was down - she'd taught me the East Coast basic and two turns years before, but only the lead's footwork. (This was very quickly discovered at a volleyball teammate's swing birthday party, where the instructor asked for volunteers for a demonstration. I was so excited, and then did so terribly because I kept trying to start on my left foot.. it was a learning experience.)

I distinctly remember the day she got me to come. She was in the downstairs bathroom, door closed, and I was chatting with her from just outside. I don't remember any of our previous conversation, but just the following:

"Hey [my name]"

'Yeah?"

"Guess what day it is"

[I knew it was Thursday. There was a moment of silence.]

I can't remember the exact words of my reaction, but I'm certain I started fumbling around trying to make excuses for my completely open evening. Sequins just kept firmly saying, "Nope. It's Thursday, you're coming to [Lindy]."

Little did I know..

.. Just how TERRIBLY I'd do my first night!

Of course I jumped into the beginner Lindy lesson. This was when they still taught an actual lindy basic in that time, plus one move.

I don't remember the lesson or most of the evening. I only remember my first actual dance on the floor - the first one they played after lesson - where a kind gentleman asked me to dance and I could not get through a count of 8 without stopping. I may have once or twice in the whole song. We just stuck with lindy, no East Coast.. It did not go the greatest.

Part of it might be terrible memory (as previously found out this last week), but I don't remember being upset.

As mentioned, I don't know how the rest of the evening went, but evidently I kept going.

I don't have too many early memories - mostly things like wearing the red dress that was really a Latin dress but was the only dance-y dress I owned. Then wearing a different dress that I was.. hmm.. not old enough to fill, and one embarrassing dance related. With the addition of dresses came the one night that taught me to wear dance shorts. (I'm certain nothing actually happened, but that concern when you normally wear baggy shirts and jean shorts, and you feel the skirt lifting higher than you'd like? It changes you.)

My first most common outfit (though I can't remember how soon this was after I started) was my red latin dress, a red flower clip in the back, and my slightly-too-big red flats. (A.k.a. the ones I wore EVERYWHERE through ninth and tenth grade.)

Eventually [Haute] gave me my black and white, polka-dot diner dress. I still have that one, and wear it on occasion, but it's just getting old. (It started my Heart of Haute collection though, which was all I would wear for years.)

But that second common outfit was that diner dress, the red flower, and red flats.. clearly there was some easing that needed to happen. Somewhere around there I must've gotten into a single red lip color I had - but I only applied on the main lip area, no edges and most definitely no shape. Ah. Oh very grateful we've come a long way on that end.

I would stand immediately left of the door, cause that's where our friend and Sequins would stand. That stuck even when Sequins stopped coming. (I don't remember why.. but our friend and her friend kept coming for a bit and then stopped too.)

I remember learning the subtle art of asking for/declining a dance even before partners asked - I thought it was the coolest, subtlest thing. I remember watching follows do swivels and admiring them. If I wasn't dancing, I was standing with my arms behind my back, leaning against the wood of that door-left area.

I learned to love dance so much.. in tenth grade my teacher (and mom of my dear friend Caesar - one should also note the class consisted of Rose, Caesar, and I) told us about a dream she had about me getting all the boys from dance. I was mortified, everyone laughed, and it's been a tease since.

Oddly enough, somewhere in there I had the first gentleman ask me out. We were great dance friends! Tried to get a dance with him each time - we got along so well. At one point he asked if I had a boyfriend. I laughingly replied some variation of no. He asked if he'd have a shot. I kindly (and genuinely!) explained that I was 14, but sincerely appreciated it and if I'd been older, absolutely! (I never got his age but knew he was older than me.) He was embarrassed, and I don't really remember seeing him much after.. I understand the embarrassment but still miss him. Alas.

(And there-related, I'm either impressed with him or myself - either he had a very kind eye or I looked relatively together at the time, cause let me just tell you, compared to today's get ups? Oh honey. Oh I was so not properly dressed. Pretty sure this was still when I'd slick my hair back into a tight ponytail.. oof nope not my best look.

That said, we all start somewhere, but dang..)

I definitely had regular partners through that time, though they've changed drastically! It wouldn't be for a couple years that I'd meet Kaiju, Respect-women-juice, and Steals - my longest running, in-and-out-of-dance friends! Let alone more recent friendships..

Oof the early days. Parents dropping me off and picking me up. Then me driving myself but having to be home by 11 for the first year of my license. The different parking lots - North, South, and finally the underground (and my SPOT. I miss my spot. And B. I hope she's doing okay.)

I miss Lindy so much. I relatively regularly attended from that point on. It was a key part of my week for almost half of my life. It's definitely shaped so many parts of my life - respect, communication, kindness, joy, confidence, self-respect.. and much more I know. Heck, even gender roles - I remember getting so excited about leading and talking to a non-dance person as I got better. They were confused as to why being ambidancetrous was a goal and thought it was odd for people to be swapping around the 'fundamental dynamic' of a guy leading and girl following. Meanwhile I was so excited about leading I forgot that was even a view.

(My feelings were captured in the in image below:)

I miss dance. I miss the feeling of a good swingout. Of hitting the break perfectly. Of a favorite song coming on and despeRATELY NEEDING TO FIND THAT PERSON. I miss seeing other dancers in public and getting all excited. I miss trying a dance with a stranger and having it go REALLY FREAKING WELL. I miss finding story songs with Sandman and playing all sorts of characters. I miss laughing when messing up. I miss messing up but playing it off. I miss playing off an entire song cause neither of us are feeling it so we both just act ridiculous. I miss switch dances. I miss getting more confident in my lead. I miss dancing outside Lindy and Peanut-Butter & Dance. I miss hugging my friends. And getting good dips. And everyone's "dance outfits." I miss the Sisters' elaborate themes. The regular FEAST of snacks. I miss Heroes sneaking me in. I miss helping afterwards and catching up with everyone. I miss the peppermints at Lindy and having to move my "spot" for my stuff when the corner would get crowded. I miss the friends I'd make in the ladies lounge. I miss dance shoes. And space. And Camp Hollywood.. frick I miss Camp Hollywood. Days of dancing. The whole mindset being different. (And I was even going to bring ACTUAL food this year! (Not that protein bars and bananas aren't great, but.. variety)

I miss the music. The go to songs. I miss the smells of each of my favorite dance places. I miss feeling like I'm "coming home" every time.. And even if I have very low energy, still having a lovely night talking away to someone.

Especially Lindy. It did feel like home. I knew so many folks there. It was a wonderful home outside school, outside Old Street/New Street. It was my own space where I'd created myself. (Not in a facade way - quite the opposite. Where I'd built myself and my adult identity up from the roots.) It was my space. Not in an owning way, but in an independence way. Before I attended professional mixers and conferences, before I started at Engineering School, before I'd really had full on interviews - I was already my own person, forged by way of jazz music and incredible dancers.

That last part of the sentence is still off. Mostly cause it reduces dance to two things. But eh.

Of course as an adult there's so much more to learn about dance. Now is the perfect time to catch up on my swing history. It's changed over the years and I want to know that change. It's meant more than just light-hearted movements, and I want to catch up.

It's not stagnant. There's much more to know.

I've ignored dance due to "new physics" and therefore subconsciously not letting myself connect with that part of me. But there are other pieces I can learn without actually dancing.

Now is the perfect time for that.

[punkscowardschampions]

Janis & Grace

Janis: I'm coming back Janis: like, I'm en-route now Janis: so you can tell the parentals or whatever Grace: okay Grace: fine Janis: 👍 Janis: tah Grace: sure Grace: literally don't mention it Janis: alright Janis: forget I was even here, like Grace: ugh that means I don't wanna talk to you Grace: you can stop now Janis: Charming Janis: not asking for fanfare, or a shit banner, don't worry Grace: 🙄🙄🙄 Janis: if you don't wanna talk, you can shut the emoji keyboard and all Grace: whatever Grace: so sorry I'm busy being your PA rn Janis: how hard is it Janis: I did it in three Janis: even you can do it in under 10 Grace: I'm actually home so no, I can't Janis: well that's on you for being there and them for being annoying Grace: just leave me alone Janis: fucking hell, fine Janis: make your mind up Grace: I have & so have you Janis: what are you chatting about Grace: I called you SO MANY times Grace: until I literally couldn't cos Iggy said I had to call dad Janis: I weren't looking at my phone Janis: you know I can look after myself Grace: Duh Grace: but like you said, how hard is it, babes? Grace: like, 1 text you know Janis: Defeats the point of fucking off if you're gonna make a song and dance about it Janis: you wanna be my keeper or don't you Grace: I wanna know you're not fucking dead in a ditch Janis: You do now Grace: yeah thanks Janis: Look, I don't have to tell you my every move Janis: when do we text Grace: idk what you think I can say to that Janis: I'm just saying, you didn't need to freak out Janis: no need Grace: how dare you Janis: what Janis: I'm trying to save you the hassle it clearly is Grace: literally spare me this convo Grace: you're not this stupid Janis: Whatever then Janis: this is bollocks Grace: yeah exactly Janis: no, you Janis: don't pretend to give a fuck just 'cos mum and dad are getting on your nerves Grace: mhmm that's what this is Janis: yeah Janis: easier faking it when I ain't about Grace: I was totally crying so hard that I threw up cos I was worried about mum and dad giving me a lecture Janis: don't start Grace: I told you, leave me alone Janis: don't try and guilt trip me Janis: I'm literally on my way, can't do fuck all else Grace: don't tell me I'm pretending to care Grace: or pretend that you're coming home Janis: What's the point Grace: again idk what I'm meant to say to that Janis: Exactly Janis: I don't have to step over the threshold for it to fucking count Grace: you don't want to Grace: you literally could care less about me Janis: behave Janis: you don't wanna talk to me, we're hardly gonna hug it out Grace: like you're SO !!!! to talk to me Janis: I started this convo Grace: to get me to get mum and dad to be less extra Janis: yeah 'cos give a shit about them Janis: they're chewing your ear off, not mine Janis: so either way, I'd be doing you a favour Grace: wow Grace: thanks so much Grace: you obvs don't care about anyone but him so Janis: Oh yeah, cheers for spreading that about Grace: you've done that yourself, babes Janis: You don't know why I left, you never have, so don't be chatting shit Grace: excuse you, I haven't said anything to anyone Janis: he showed me the texts so you have Grace: that doesn't even count Grace: I didn't say anything he doesn't know Janis: clearly does to me Janis: as he's the only cunt I care about Janis: you didn't have to do that Grace: yeah well I was drunk & thought you'd gone forever Grace: sorry, okay Janis: you didn't know what you were talking about Janis: whatever, sorted now regardless Grace: duh Grace: I said he better get you back, you're back Grace: we know the boy can listen Janis: yeah, he just did it 'cos he's well scared of you Grace: I didn't threaten him, I'm not you Janis: ehh Janis: debatable Grace: oh please Janis: weren't exactly miss sweetness and light but alright Grace: he didn't deserve me at my sweetest or lightest thank you Janis: I told you, you got it wrong Janis: it weren't like that at all so Grace: she got it wrong, not me Janis: yeah Janis: he didn't fuck her though Grace: obvs! why would he? Grace: she knows nothing about camera angles and that's literally what she was there for, she probably gets her sex position tips from Cosmo Janis: probably Janis: clearly got community service for stalking anyway Grace: someone totally attacked her for whoring all over their man & then it was a whole thing™ Grace: like nobody wants to hook up with you if you're that tragic & so white you're basically see through, sorry about it Janis: Fair, Asia gets through 'em pretty well Janis: don't be catty, like Grace: cos she doesn't get her sex tips from Cosmo like a grandma duh Grace: & anyway he's like totally into you, boys aren't totally into Asia Grace: not the ones she picks Janis: hadn't escaped my notice Janis: cries as much as you Grace: RUDE Grace: I wouldn't cry over a boy that cringe Janis: 👌 Janis: least you have something in common Grace: OMG don't even Janis: you're mates, you're meant to Janis: or would you rather be like blondie and Mia Grace: 🙄🙄 Grace: that's not how you mean it Grace: I'm not THAT stupid, hun Janis: didn't say you were Grace: copy & paste it from literally any other convo from the last decade Grace: whatever Janis: you're well paranoid Janis: so, she got a new one yet or what Grace: idk I've been totally preoccupied wondering if you were still alive Janis: 👎 boring Grace: stop doing it to me then Janis: it's as much about you as it is him Grace: it doesn't have to be about me to effect me Janis: soz Janis: why would I help you, yeah Grace: if you ever did it'd be an event Grace: & I'm not dressed for one so Grace: 🤷 Janis: 🙄🙄 Janis: it ain't gonna happen so don't plan an outfit on my behalf Grace: 💔 obvs but I won't Janis: Good stuff Grace: 👌👌 bye Janis: you gonna say sorry Grace: no Janis: 💔 rude Janis: shouldn't call people names, Gracie Grace: you shouldn't run away from your problems, babes Grace: but like here we are Janis: What's your plan, going well? Grace: Why would I EVER tell you anything I'm thinking? Janis: Yeah, have to be thinking something first Janis: I get it Grace: sure Janis: 👋 then Asia Grace: don't Janis: 😏 Grace: I have no energy to be upset any more Grace: so just stop Janis: Then try a smile Janis: there's nothing to be upset about Grace: not for you Grace: & what are you an old man on a bus? telling people to smile is so gross Janis: It's old Janis: you're bored, we all are Janis: switch it up Grace: go away Janis: stop being boring Grace: literally what do you care Grace: annoy your boyfriend Janis: who knows Janis: might stick around if you weren't Grace: that's not funny Janis: it is though Grace: you really scared me Janis: stop worrying about me, jesus Grace: Oh my god, do you think I wouldn't just stop if that was a thing I could do?! Janis: it is Janis: ask me how much I think about you Janis: you don't need to, you told me, I don't Grace: again, I'm not you Janis: try harder Grace: I hate you Janis: 👍 Janis: there we go Grace: next time I hope you don't come back Janis: 🤞 eh Grace: yeah Janis: be back for dinner then Janis: get da to make my favourite Grace: he'd have to know what it is first Janis: yeah Janis: pretty shit ain't he Janis: sad times Grace: like I said, my energy's dipped too low for this Janis: best go lick a stamp Janis: perk you right up, Ells Grace: that's not a comparison anyone's making Grace: but thanks anyway Janis: should be Grace: maybe but mistaken identity never Janis: no shit Janis: no one's mistaking you for kate moss either but you understand what I meant Grace: totally Janis: thank fuck Grace: any more shade you wanna throw or can I go? Janis: huh? Grace: like can that be it now or? Janis: I don't give a fuck, babe Grace: cool Grace: such a fun catch up Janis: not at all Janis: go back to crying and vomming though Janis: sounds like a blast Grace: obvs Janis: oh, and don't ever try and stick up for me again, also obvs Grace: 👌👌 Janis: state Grace: I won't speak to him again, it's fine Janis: good Grace: 💜 Janis: ugh Janis: fuck off Grace: [does]

[missouris-googlehistory]

A change of hearts | chapter VIII

A/N: I am so sorry I haven't updated this story in so long, I've been dealing with school and depression honestly. Sorry if everything isn't super politically correct I am not European so I am a bit stupid on their political happenings. This isn't meant to be offensive to anyone.

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For a long time things had been going well between Ludwig and Francis. Their relationship blossomed and Germany eventually proposed, with France happily accepting the offer. However they knew there were challenges ahead. The first obstacle was their fellow nations.   

"ABSOLUTELY NOT! FRANCE HOW COULD YOU!?" Was the first response exclaimed after Germany formally made the announcement at a world meeting. The other nations were equally as confused and disgruntled with the match. England marched right up to the German, "YOU BRAINWASHED HIM OR SOMETHING DIDN'T YOU!?". Ludwig, offended by such a notion retorted. 

"Of course not." In a polite yet stern tone, 

"Angleterre that's rude of you to suggest! Even for a connard like you!" Francis stood up to defend his partner. 

"OH I'M BEING RUDE FOR TERRORIZING YOU!? THE MAN THAT HELD YOU PRISONER? THE ONE WHO DESTROYED NOT ONLY YOUR COUNTRY BUT COUNTLESS OTHERS!?" Germany immediately left the room, sensing that he wasn't wanted. A fist fight broke out as perusal between the two nations while the others pondered and discussed the proposal. 

Italy and Japan had followed Germany to make sure he was ok, the waves of guilt hit him all over again. "Maybe Britain's right, maybe France just pities me...maybe I never deserve a second chance or love at all..." He put his head in his hand. 

Italy rubbed his back, "That's not true at all! Everyone deserves love and kindness! Japan and I love you!" Japan nodded in agreement. Prussia who was peering a nearby window saw Germany's sad face. 

He banged on the glass. "Who made you cry like a little baby!? That's totally unawesome!" 

"Just go away Prussia, I want to be left alone." As he muttered the phrase America popped out of the doorway. 

"Yo Germany dude we need a little help in here!" 

"Huh?" The Axis trio went back inside to see France and England on the floor while America tried to separate them. 

"FRANCE DUDE LET GO YOU'LL KILL THE OLD MAN!" 

"YOU DID IT! YOU KILLED HER! I COULD FORGIVE GERMANY A THOUSAND TIMES OVER BUT I WILL NEVER FORGET WHAT YOU DID YOU BASTARD!" England was turning blue in the face, 

"That was six hundred years ago you crazy frog!" 

"Frankreich! Ludwig wrapped his arms around the Frenchman's waste and pried him off. Arthur finally stood up and recovered, the others starring at the scene. Ludwig was holding Francis and whispering "it's ok" to help calm him. 

"Let's go back to the hotel so we can all calm down." The German suggested. 

"Why?" England snapped back, "You two can leave the rest of us will continue the meeting."

Ludwig was not one for bragging but Arthur was getting on his nerves, he growled and snapped back, "How are you going to hold a meeting without the two most powerful European nations? You can't talk about the European Union issues anymore since you backed out like eine Muschi!" The room fell silent, Ludwig was not to curse in a formal setting. Arthur stepped back a bit. 

"Well at least let us discuss this 'engagement' of yours." 

"There's nothing to discuss!" 

"We're nations we can't just marry whoever we please!" 

"Oh for Gott's sake do you watch T.V? Or do you not own one because you're so old. I've never seen two world leaders have more sexual tension unless you count Churchill and Roosevelt." 

To which Arthur and Alfred yelled. "HEY!" 

Francis sniffled and looked up at Ludwig. "Allemange it's fine don't worry. Can we just go back? The two of us?" 

Ludwig sighed in defeat, "Fine." The two men gathered their things and left the world to decide their fate.



Back at the hotel they tried to relax, Ludwig poured himself a drink. "Why do you always attack England?"

Francis chuckled and laid on the bed. "Because Mon cher, he is a dick."

"And I'm not?"

"Oui but a cute one."

"Ja but why am I more deserving of forgiveness than him?"

"He killed the love of my life. My very soul was crushed. Not to mention all the other dickish things he did. I know he gave me the plague."

"The plague spread everywhere Liebling."

"Oui but he started it."

"Whatever you say." Ludwig took another swig of his drink



Back at the world meeting it seemed more like a riot than anything else.

"I don't see the big deal dudes, being gay is gay. Who cares? I don't."

"It's not a matter of gay or not, at least not in most countries; it's a matter of alliances." England tried to school the American in politics.

"Oh yea cuz you and France are best friends. Who would marry Germany for the sake of an alliance anyway?" Again the room fell silent. Italy almost raised his hand however his brother smacked it down.

"I don't think it's really fair to pick on the guy eh?" Spain retorted. "Germany mentioned it himself, their bosses get along really well. They old the European Union together Si?" On this most everyone could agree. "Heck I was married to Austria for awhile, it wasn't that bad!" To this the Austrian flushed in embarrassment; Hungary twitched ever so slightly. However the room filled with laughter.

"He is still a person and should be treated as such." Belgium spoke up, which was a surprise to many of the nations. "The world needed justice for what he had done and it was served. Most of our people have moved on and don't even remember the war. His punishment was paid. Even if we don't like to think about it he suffers too."

"Belgium...can you really forgive him?" England asked with concern and shock. Poland was still very angry and made it very clear to the rest of the world. Many other countries had done the same. Yet Belgium and France were different.

"At first I really didn't want to. During one of my visits to France's house we shared what had happened to each other...He told me about how he forgave Germany because you should not live with that kind of hatred towards another human in your heart." 

"Well France is Catholic, you don't have to share his beliefs Belgium, you're lucky he didn't get you pregnant. You have every right not to forgive him, just like Poland." England tried to rationalize her anger, Poland agreed with him as well as a few other nations.  

"Joat but living the rest of my life being angry at my neighbor who I have to see a lot isn't helpful to anyone. Especially me, we aren't humans. We make sacrifices. You and France don't get along well but you still work with each other. Germany still works with Russia after all he's done." Suddenly the energy in the room shifted; It became dark and ominous as everyone turned to the innocent looking nation. "And America."  She quickly added and began to retell the story of the Berlin wall and all that Germany and his people had suffered. "We need to lay this to rest; Maybe their marriage is the best answer. Maybe we can all find some kind of happiness in this. We shouldn't deny him happiness when he's grown so much as a person." 

"Ja, I agree for once." The focus shifted to Austria. "He isn't the only one to blame, and it isn't like we haven't done bad things to each other before. The Napoleon wars were a mess. England killed Joan of arc, and conquered a lot more of the world than he ever did. Belgium had issues with the Congo, Hungary and I had issues with the Serbians," Though he would never publicly admit he was the cause of the first world war. 

"Will their marriage be like most peoples or is it like ours?" Lithuania piped up. "Because they're two guys and we've had arranged negations with two guys before but this isn't for legal reasons, so like...what about the countries who still...don't recognize that stuff?" The focus was again negatively drawn back to Russia and many of the eastern European countries, the Asian nations watched in silence.  

"WELL THEN FUCK THEM DUDE AM I RIGHT!?"  America very loudly interjected the awkward silence. "We basically said their bosses want some kind of weird alliance thingy so whatever! I say we let them be happy! If Francy-pants likes sausage dude why do we have to tell him what's wrong or right?  Like Emma said we're not mortal and unfortunately we all gotta get along whether we like it or not. Yea to us it might feel like it was just yesterday but to the rest of the world it's history, and our pain eventually goes away. I'm not mad at Britain dude for being a giant douche. I got a cool holiday to celebrate! I get to piss him off!" 

"WHY YOU-" England was cut off by laughter. No one really dare to go up against the loud mouthed American, at this point not even Russia cared anymore about the German-Franco union. The meeting was quickly adjourned afterwards and everyone went back to the hotel. 

Luckily the two were met with love and support, everyone decided to go out and party a little since Germany did announce they were now formally engaged. It was cause for celebration, to forgiveness, happiness and a new beginning for everyone. 

Translations: 

1. Frankreich: France - German 

2. Eine Muschi: A female body part - German 

3. Allemagne: Germany - French

4. Mon Cher: My love - French

5. Leibling: Love - German 

5. Joat: Yes - Western Flemish 

[punkscowardschampions]

Fearghal & Kaitlin

Fearghal: [So the setup is sending her a postcard pretending to be a mate visiting in England for whatever reason (could be fam you get the vibe, nothing suspect given the time this is) but giving enough info that she 1. Knows it is him 2. has the number of at least a phonebox nearby if not a phone in his care home 3. a time when he plans to first call the phonebox nearest their home in Ireland, assumedly this is some sneaky twin shit they've pulled similar enough before that she can catch on without any of the rest of the fam also doing so; only question is how long do we want it to be since he left?] Kaitlin: [3 months ish later then and they've turned 15 but only just for our ref how do we think the situation is with his dad etc like would he just be acting like he's dead cos is to him?] Fearghal: [basically my vibe was they wanted to weaponize Tabby killing herself for their gain, like make it something political even though literally not about that bar the fact her family and his family and co didn't want them together and she was a dramatic teenage girl in love (no offense but like) and so when he wouldn't go along with that there was a massive fight, actual, between him and his dad and then Fearghal left 'cos there's never any option but to do as your told with this fam and he can't lose face with all the other people etc etc and the story the dad is telling the fam etc is that Fearghal deserted them which not untrue but yeah, good enough for all the olders to disown him too so it'd be like we don't talk about him and if someone else bring him up you denounce him] Kaitlin: [let's say there's a crying baby in the background cos like in my OG post she can use her youngest sister needing fresh air as an excuse so casually left her outside the phonebox but might be able to hear her if she's going for it] Kaitlin: How ya Fearghal: K? Fuck's sake, you've not had a bastard, have ya? 's'not been that long, like Kaitlin: Catch yourself on! mind how ya ma was fit to drop, you eejit? well we're all lurred she had another girl who I'm hauling about as my cover, so I am Fearghal: [Laughs] Still easy to windup then [slight pause to take in that it's a girl and is here, like not the biggest shock but also literally no way of knowing at this time so] And go on, don't leave me in suspense, what name they burden the poor fucker with Kaitlin: [makes an unimpressed noise like fuck off] full of that good craic you are, bet the brits are buzzing to hear it. You ready? Niamh Roisin, it's a cracker, like [sighs] Fearghal: [laughs some more] Yeah, catch me on that most wanted list, obviously [makes a wincing noise like no] Christ, actually lost it fully then, has she? Made it longer than some but dunno if mentals get to heaven, haveta ask Father Quigley, like Kaitlin: [laughs herself] yeah yeah [makes like a idk noise] can you lose what you've never had? A good catholic'll find a way, to be sure, and she is that, our ma [makes a scornful noise at the mention of the priest as is standard for her] Fearghal: [makes a mm noise to agree] Suppose so, don't reckon much was said 'bout being good to 'em once you had 'em, so be alright [sighs] What have you been up to, then...How's it been Kaitlin: if it was she'd recite between the lines to keep us anyone's problem but hers, poor critter [sarcastic laugh because mum's getting no real sympathy] it could've been 3 days from when you went off for what's changed and not- [a long pause because everything's shit and we know it is] Fearghal: What's God if not top babysitter, eh? Cheaper than telly and who's giving money to the BBC [scoffs but cuts it short 'cos yep] And I'm fine too, you rude cow Kaitlin: and stand him next to our earthly da and he comes out lookin' class [chefs kiss noise] Hey now! [makes a fake noise of shock like she's appalled at the mention of the bbc] watch your profanity around me, dicko! [really long exaggerated sigh as a pisstake] a'course you are, land well anywhere, but hit me with your bars, it's no bother to hear how right I am Fearghal: If you can get him stand still long enough, like and you ain't a lad so no chance, babe [does pisstake wistful sigh] Forgot you needed protecting from the evils of this world, my apologies [coughs awkwardly then, stalling for time, fiddling with the phone in ways she can probably hear] Taking a bow as we speak, can't fit in here with me but the adoring fans are aplenty over this way, well more than there so fuck it, life's grand so it is Kaitlin: Wise up, boy, he only sways slightly of an evening on these ones lately so he does [but her voice is MAD because fuck being a girl in this fam] Did you now? Thank fuck my new lad has his uses then, like [takes a deep breath to try and calm down but exaggerates it for the pisstake because have to, god forbid they are serious rn] I went and saw your former biggest fan under that rock they've carved with protestant shite, no word on if life's grander for her now it's ended or if she's regretting she didn't send her prayers up saying she wanted another bite of the cherry, one that wasn't yours- [stops like I've probably gone a bit far here and shouldn't mention his dead ex anymore] Fearghal: Good for him [through gritted teeth like let's never talk about him thank you] Like you need a replacement protector, got how many ready and willing at home, just DYING to beat the shit out of some 15 year old kid for your honour and just for the craic of it [does it back, like and then is silent until the pips are going but he's still there 'cos they stop when he puts more money in] You'll be under some rock with Catholic shite if they catch you in their graveyard [says it much more quietly than he's said the rest] Kaitlin: [makes a noise of disgust that doesn't need to be exaggerated for the pisstake cos genuinely horrified at this fam thanks] what honour? Shame you brought down on us with what they caught you at [but her voice is softer too because didn't mean to go off and also doesn't mean any of that we know] supposed to scare me, is it? [said like I wouldn't be here to give them a chance to do it just like you weren't] Fearghal: Why you need to ask one of the others, ain't it; can't be the best looking of the bunch and the best behaved, got to leave something for 'em to do and impressing n pleasing him 's'never been high on my to-do so have at it, lads [does meh noise like this is all so casual] Called the fear of God for a reason, aye Kaitlin: [does the meh noise back and it's her turn to awkwardly fiddle with the phone/cough while she works up to saying what she does next, more quietly than she has anything else] how's it truly then? Away and everything. Free and clear Fearghal: It's, like- just shit because you realize that everything that happens in that fucking town, all the stuff that rules our lives and is all they give a shit about, no other cunt does, you know, Kait? Sure, its on the news when another bomb goes off or don't and that; but the English don't even have to think about it, their day to day ain't affected at all, no fucker but our lot cares and what's the point, honestly? Everything we were forced to at least think was important, if not fecking stupid, ain't and now I don't- [Stops to do some actual breathing to calm down] Not to mention I'm thick as shite, thanks for that and all- 'cos frees a bloody joke [laughs bitterly] I get by, now, got a place to stay so, don't haveta worry but don't be hopping the next ferry yourself, girl Kaitlin: [when you're just silent for ages because as much as you think it's bullshit you're basically in a cult rn with no chance of getting out so what can you say like] not that thick, warning me off coming to keep an eye on all these english girls with theirs on ya but no bother 'cause mind I get sea sick and class as boking on brits sounds I'd get fairly covered myself before I made any casualties of 'em Fearghal: Know enough about girls and enough about you to know the two don't need mixing, that's just school of life, that [moving away a bit and telling someone who's impatiently waiting to fuck off] Stay put [when you say it firmly like serious voice] That wain and the rest needs someone VAGUELY sane about to stand any chance, fuck me, Aislinn's already been corrupted and she's barely in double digits [kicks the box] Kaitlin: [laughs because yeah don't let her around any girls you like babe] you should know enough about me to know what giving me your orders'll do fer ya and what it'll make me do [but there's no actual real threat in it we all know she's staying for the bubs] Sane as you by that count, ain't I? [can't help genuinely sighing] Mammy's girl is Aislinn been like it since she was old enough to play house [grimaces at the thought cos never that bitch] got the rest under MY apron strings, grand they are and it goes for the stories I tell 'em every night after prayers, rest easy yourself knowing that, yeah? Fearghal: Alright, alright [hear the 🙄😏] But if you wanna be the next to bring shame on 'em, you can do better than a cheeky abortion, surely? [shakes his head] Yeah. [Pause] Yeah [Coughs again] I'm doing my bit, swear, it's gonna take a while 'til I can send you anything and I've got to work out how when I do- it ain't for them, just you lot but like I said, not cheap Kaitlin: [an outraged noise like who do you think you're talking to, of course I can do better than that etc] Yeah. [Pauses herself because again what to say, there's so much it's too much] I've got faith in the right shite, Gally [nickname ftw because feels] it'll work out. We'll work it out, like we did this Fearghal: 'Course we will, K. No other choice, is there [definitely not a question] Kaitlin: not a real question, is it? [she knows its not] Fearghal: you want me to ask you one? Kaitlin: do English girls fall for that? Fearghal: Enough of 'em, yeah Kaitlin: [makes a ugh noise] how you've got a bed, is it? Fearghal: Theirs top where mine is Kaitlin: I deeply feel that Fearghal: [makes the kinda sad 'ha' sound like 'I know'] Not all bad though, some class drugs about and you don't get kneecapped for taking a casual interest Kaitlin: [does a little hooray down the phone] Fearghal: Send you some but your phones probably tapped so I definitely won't Kaitlin: thanks or no thanks, depending who'll be listening Fearghal: Cover those bases and the baby's ears Kaitlin: nothing to be heard over her crying Fearghal: don't lie, you miss me that much [laughs] Kaitlin: fuck off [but laughs too] Fearghal: Will do Fearghal: so many English girls Kaitlin: [exaggerated being sick noise] nowhere close to a ferry and sick as a dog, don't start me any further Fearghal: You think I escaped to pray every day and fight the good fight, like Kaitlin: if you still pray you ain't escaped fuck all Fearghal: Not living on my knees for no cunt, sis Fearghal: am being haunted, for my sins, though Kaitlin: Be on track to commit more, you'll have enough ghosts for all manner of shite to get done Fearghal: No rest for the wicked on the one hand, but on the other, idle hands and idle minds [breathes out like so conflicted and confused] Kaitlin: [a change in tone because serious] She's gone, so are you. Leave it here. Leave it in this fucking town Fearghal: Not a choice Kaitlin: Can be Fearghal: Nah, s'not, boths already happened Kaitlin: Happened to you, gives you a say in how you deal with it Fearghal: Yeah Kaitlin: You've lived in one haunted house as things stand, ain't you? Miss home that much, is it? Fearghal: How could I not? Live for these lectures, like Kaitlin: [an unamused noise because you're basically calling her a nagging girl which ain't a mood] Fearghal: [the pips again] Oh shit, should robably let you go, yeah? Kaitlin: Yeah probably [but she obvs doesn't wanna that'd be clear] Fearghal: Tell the kids I miss 'em, won't ya Kaitlin: I'll even include her out there Fearghal: Try and send a picture some time, alright Kaitlin: 'Course Fearghal: You too, kid Kaitlin: [laughs but in a more genuine way] You're my twin brother, calling me kid is calling yourself a wain, you eejit Fearghal: That's alright by me, like Kaitlin: I'll not baby you, got enough noses and arses to wipe here while you're hand holding these brits Fearghal: No handholding, on me life, just good old-fashioned- [will cut him off before he can be gross] Kaitlin: [we can say she cuts him off with a very unamused noise as per like no thank you] Fearghal: G'wan then, piss off before that kid freezes to death Kaitlin: [doesn't wanna be the first one to hang up obvs] Watch yourself then Fearghal: You too Fearghal: When can we do this again then Kaitlin: When can you? It's no bother for me to slip out with this ginger whinger, needs fresh air so she does Fearghal: [laughs then is pondering like umm] Try next Sunday, after church, if I don't answer then I'll send another postcard or whatever, yeah Kaitlin: Tryin' to get a free sermon told to ya, respect that hustle if not the message Fearghal: Obviously, how am I getting to heaven from England? Kaitlin: [laughs] no angels in England is there not? You'll have been thinking on your feet for fresh pick up lines all these months, no wonder you ain't had time for me, like Fearghal: Something like that... [Trails off 'cos don't wanna tell her what's really been going on but also does 'cos not its like that and its been a lot to just deal with on his own] Kaitlin: But it's something else like what? [cos sees through you boyyy] Fearghal: It's alright now, like Fearghal: but it ain't as if the old man sent me on me way with anywhere to go, is it Kaitlin: He didn't put a bullet in your head as a send off, that's what gets me to sleep of a night, but- [trails off because she was gonna say she knows it hasn't been easy but she doesn't know how hard it's been and she's not trying to guess like let's compare struggles] Kaitlin: Yeah [another pause] Fearghal: Should've put one in his [so under his breath it's like did you mean that to be heard or] Kaitlin: You'd have to take ma out an' all, I don't reckon the broken heart myth is anything other than another story, and probably a few of us would make the cut for cute little orphans but you and me'd have to catch ourselves on quick and wise up Fearghal: Make Tara look after you all as well as Diarmaid's kids, see how committed to the family she really is [sniffs 'cos we been knew] Kaitlin: [makes an identical sound cos twinning] I'll take her out if she was bothered to try and get near 'em Fearghal: Least Owie is old enough to help out, young enough to give a clout, yeah? [genuine concern] Kaitlin: [scoffs because we know he's a bit of a knob but it's still affectionate because] Fearghal: He'll be alright [but doesn't sound as reassuring as that's meant to be 'cos like unlikely at this point] Kaitlin: He's got me, my will's stronger than god's so father Q likes to say [laughs] under his breath, a'course Fearghal: [laughs back but its less 'cos sad] He doesn't always chat shite Kaitlin: Reckon he's a soft spot for me Fearghal: [makes noise like 'hopefully not too soft' but is joking, doesn't need to be that kind of priest] Kaitlin: I don't wish you were here Fearghal: How could he not, with the charm [but just jk like] Is it better, in some ways Kaitlin: It's...[trails off cos we all know even if there's less hassle it's not better as far as she's concerned and the loneliness is a real mood] I'm buzzing you got out [genuine but her voice is sad] Fearghal: Your turn next, I mean it Kaitlin: After we get a few birthday's under Niamh's belt [pauses because it's sinking in how stuck she is for now] and the rest, give 'em a fighting chance Fearghal: Yeah Fearghal: I'll make it easier, any which way I can Kaitlin: Me too, for you, I mean Fearghal: I'm grand, honest but cheers [more pips] I am outta shrapnel though so- Kaitlin: Don't be putting honest on a lie [frustrated sigh because nobody wants this to end but she wouldn't have money] speak Sunday and like I said, watch yourself Fearghal: Love ya, K ['cos no time to take the piss for it or protest] Kaitlin: [let's say she gets cut off before she can say it back for the pain]