#they arent even lavender this is a crying shame

[professionalpattycakechamp]

Good Luck, Babe

Artist Cred: Samson's Tale (Found on Pinterest)

[Rough Translation: "Yes honey, I'll be late to come home"]

Warnings/CW: Religion, religious guilt, cheating, internalized homophobia, Implied sexual activity

Word Count: 1,654

Characters: Joseph Christiansen , Mary Christiansen , Willie Prent (Dadsona)((heh...cringe but I'm FREE))

Context: If you know Dream Daddy, this is based on Joseph's route. Basically, Dadsona and Joseph have a talk about Joseph's unfaithfulness. (This is an old draft, SPARE ME)

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Joseph sighed as he wrapped a strong arm around Willie’s waist. “That was great.” Willie hummed, playing with Joseph’s hair. This wasn’t the first time Willie had been invited to Joseph’s yacht to get into the “Margarita Zone” and it had become a common way to hang out.

Joseph was still in his failing marriage with Mary and constantly kept inviting Willie to his yacht. Even if Willie occasionally helped when it came to church events, he would still come back to the yacht, regardless of the circumstances.

It wasn’t right. Something had to give.

“Joseph.” He hummed, looking up at Willie. “What’s u…You’ve got that face.” Willie cleared his throat, scratching his head. God, this was going to be a difficult talk.

“What face? I don’t have a face. I-I mean I do have a face-” Joseph sat up, looking into Willie’s eyes.

“What’s wrong, Will?” Willie sighed, fiddling with the comforter.

“Listen, this-” Willie gestured to the entire boat around them. “-It’s not right. It feels wrong. You have 4 kids and a wife at home.” Joseph physically bristled at Willie’s words.

“It’s not fair to them, and it’s not fair to me.” Joseph’s eyebrows furrowed, glaring at Willie.

“How is this not fair to you? I made the margarita zone for you-” Willie huffed, putting his head in your hands. “You don’t get it, Joseph! You have a wife! I can see your marriage isn’t the best and it seems like it hasn’t been for a long time. I…I would kill to see my husband again.” Joseph’s expression softened. “That doesn’t give me the right to take someone else’s husband. I can’t hurt someone else because I’m hurt. It isn’t right.”

Willie looked Joseph in the eyes. He knew what he was about to ask was a…Very…Loaded question.

“Do you love Mary?”

“Ye-”

“No. Think about it. Do you love Mary, or are you platonically in love with her?”

A wave of realization rushed over Joseph. “I…” Joseph rested his back against the headboard, looking down at the comforter.

“I love Mary, but not as a husband. I care about her, of course, I just…Can’t feel the way that I should.”

'Alright, Willie. You’ve had a fair share of denial growing up. Maybe you can lay it down for him.' Willie adjusted, sitting how he usually would talking to Amanda.

“Joseph, I get it. When you’re around certain people, especially growing up, getting out of their norm is a scary thing to do. You probably might have had signs when you were younger, but you have a lot of signs showing right now. You’re married to a woman, but you can’t really find that feeling you’re supposed to get when you get married. Think about it. When you…” Willie faltered, attempting to soften his wording.

“When you had sex with Mary,” Failure. “Did you have a nagging feeling that you couldn’t really place? That something wasn’t right about what you were doing?” Joseph nodded.

“Each and every time. The thing is, it felt-”

“-Different with a man?” Joseph’s eyes widened.

“How did you know?” Willie motioned to himself. “Have you seen me? You’ve been down south enough times to know I’m not exactly a regular Joe. I went through the denial dance enough times to know what it’s like. I also know that it isn’t the same for you. You’re a Christian, you have different values to follow. As the youth minister of the community church, it’s hard, but if you ever did…I dunno, come out if that’s what you wanted to do, they’d understand! If your family has something to say, you’re an adult, Joseph. You can speak for yourself.” Joseph wiped his face, huffing.

“That’s…That’s not…They aren’t the full issue.” Joseph seemed to have a hard time getting the words out.

“God sees everything. He sees us on this boat, and he sees everything I could possibly do in the future.” Joseph sighed, slumping onto Willie.

“There’s not a place in heaven for me, Willie.” Joseph sniffed, avoiding Willie’s gaze.

The two sat in silence except for the rolling waves surrounding them.

“I don’t know much about Christianity, but isn’t there something that says everyone isn’t perfect?” Joseph nodded.

“Romans 3:23-24 23.”

“I don’t know what that word nor those numbers mean.”

“ ‘For everyone has sinned; we all fall short of God's glorious standard. Yet God, in his grace, freely makes us right in his sight. He did this through Christ Jesus when he freed us from the penalty for our sins’.” Willie nodded.

“Exactly. We all mess up and that can hurt other people, but the best thing anyone can do is say sorry. It’s simple, yeah, but it’s a start.” Joseph sat up and looked at Willie. “Yeah, I guess you’re right.” Willie rested a hand on Joseph’s back. “If you don’t sort yourself out, you’ll hurt more people than you realize. If you live in denial, you’ll just stay unhappy for the rest of your life. If you accept who you are, you’ll feel way better.”

Joseph groaned. “I’m gay, aren’t I?” Willie shrugged. “I can’t read your mind, Joseph. You have to figure that out on your own.” Joseph nodded, hugging Willie.

“Thank you, Willie.” Willie patted Joseph’s back, feeling much less tense than before.

“Anytime, Joseph.” Willie pulled back, grabbing his clothes. “It’s getting late, we should get back to dry land.”

***

Mary swirled her wine glass, looking at the red liquid slosh around in the cup. She didn’t bother looking at the time now, Joseph was probably out with that nerd around this time.

Somehow, she still stayed with him. Why did she put herself through all of this so often?

She heard Joseph’s keys at the door and felt anger well up inside of her. Joseph quietly came inside, locking the door behind him.

“Hello Mary,” Mary grunted.

“Welcome home, sweetheart.” Mary’s tone was bitter, something Joseph learned to get used to. Joseph sat across from Mary, leaning on his knees.

“We need to talk.” Mary snorted, taking a loooooong sip from her wine. “We always talk.”

“No, Mary. We always argue. I want to have a conversation. It’s…Important.” Mary sighed.

“What.”

“I talked to Willie.” Mary bit her lip, swirling her glass. “You always talk. With your dick.” Joseph winced. Ouch.

“-He gave me some advice and…Said something that made me think. I love you, Mary.” Mary laughed bitterly. “You always say that. You’ve said that so many times, yet our marriage is about as much of a wreck as our house is.”

“There’s more, Mary. I love you, just not in the conditional sense.”

“If you have something to say, don’t beat around the bush.” Joseph straightened, letting out a sigh.

“I’m gay, Mary.”

Mary, for the first time, changed her expression. She looked extremely surprised.

“...Are yo-” Mary laughed, cackled really, setting her wine down. Joseph felt his face get hot.

“Why are you laughing?! This is serious!” Mary reached over, still laughing, smacking Joseph’s leg. She regained her composure, wiping her eye.

“Oh, Joseph, did it take you this long?”

Mary sat next to Joseph, resting a hand on his knee. “You don’t hide it well, Sailor. I mean, outside of Willie, it’s pretty clear.” Mary tugged on Joseph’s pink polo. “Not subtle at all, Joseph.”

“About Willie, we aren’t-”

“No. Stop. If you’re going to tell me anything, be truthful about it. You’re ‘art holier than thou’, so tell the truth. I know you’ve been boning Willie.” Joseph sighed, nodding his head.

“Y’know, as much of a shitty move that is, I’m more pissed about the fact you’re using me as cover. Be real about yourself without using your so-called wife and four unsettling kids as a cover.”

“It’s just…Scary. I’m supposed to serve God. I can’t do that if I’m in a relationship with a man! What will the church think?” Mary sighed, sipping her wine. “To hell what they think. I stopped worrying about the weirdos at the church a long time ago. I’ve listened to enough sermons throughout our marriage, and I should know that wherever you want to put it is between you and the man upstairs.” Mary threw the rest of her wine back.

“Be honest with me, Joseph. I don’t want to do this circle of break up, get back together all over again. Do you seriously want both me and you to be miserable until we die to keep your cover, or do you want to stop hiding and be yourself without being as miserable?” Joseph thought about it.

He’s hurt so many people denying his identity. If he keeps going like this, he could lose everyone, including Mary and Willie. It’s settled. If it ever gets too bad, he knows he can pray about it.

Joseph huffed.

“It’s past time for a divorce,” Mary smirked, patting Joseph on the back. “Proud of you, sweetheart. If it makes you feel better, I met this girl while bar-hopping with Rob. I never got with her since we were married, but at least I won’t be lonely over here.” Joseph’s mouth went agape.

“You-?” Mary barked a laugh.

“No, I didn’t cheat. Unlike you, Joseph, I know how to be faithful. Besides, I’ve turned her down before. She did say she’s open if I ever want to get with her. I like who I like, Joseph. I don’t make a big deal out of it.” Mary stood up, smiling at Joseph for the first time in a long time.

“You should thank Willie the next time you see him. I sure will. Night, sailor. It’s been a long day.” Joseph watched as Mary toddled into her bedroom, closing the door. Joseph looked at the floor, sighing. It would be hard, but the least he could do is clean up.

Jeez, didn’t he tell those kids to stop cutting up their toys?