#they are Monigote and Lloron so

[monigote001]

today is my birthday, December 28th

take a simple and quick drawing guys, hope y'all have an amazing day ♥️

Some thoughts I have in this hard month for people who have felt the same

Warning for suicide, Alzheimer, the loss of someone, take that in mind! Just sharing some delicate stuff of my life in these hard times for many, thanks in advance for reading <3 have a great new year!

The suicide rate usually increases on birthdays and after holidays such as Christmas and New Year's Eve. In a day like this, not so many years ago I chose that route. It is not a surprise how hard it is, how deep the sadness can be. Hearing people celebrate, I don't have that happiness to share with myself. I can't tell you a story of overcoming myself, because I am still building it. You are not alone, you will never be.

A few years ago I wouldn't have been here, a few years ago I would have left my mother without a son, my sister without a brother, my cats without a father, my grandmother without her grandson. me without another opportunity to see for myself that things can change, that there is more than hurting myself and feeling that way.

Years ago I was 11 or 12, years ago when I was so young I tried to end it all for the first time. Years ago I lost my grandpa, my Tata, someone so important that treated me like he treated his daughter. He gave me everything, even when he was so sick, when the Alzheimer got him and slowly made him lose himself. Every time he saw me, he thought I was my mom, his only daughter. I held him the night before he passed away, I took care of him all those years, I was the one who gave everything to show him all the love he taught me, and to be with my Grandma in those hard years.

Today I'm 19 years old, and you didn't see me get this far in life. But I had to see how yours ended that night. The grief I still hold against my chest will never leave me, more than a grandpa, you were my dad. I will be forever grateful about you giving me the comfort I will never experience again. And for that, I will keep living to give someone that gift.

A few years ago I had my Tata, a few years ago I lost him.

A few years ago I didn't find the strength to continue anymore.

But this year I'm learning to stand up again,

with love, some deer called Monti. ♥️