#they also seemed to mirror back to me every quality i'd ever wanted in a partner to an uncanny degree

[sanityshorror]

[The creepypasta ft Julius the Dressmaker by Sanity's Horror]

Julius the Dressmaker

[official creepypasta; also known as/former title: the dressmaker from hell]

2024 illustrations of Julius the Dressmaker will be shown after you finish reading. The ones above are from June 2022

I don't have much time left, he'll return any moment. It's beyond me how I'm still conscious, let alone alive. Even the smallest movement causes indescribable excruciating pain. However, I feel it necessary to push through this agony because everyone desperately needs to be warned of him. It's far too late to save myself, anyone who attempted to try would be embarking on a suicide mission. This is simply a warning I hope could save others. The fate of meeting this man, this demon, isn't something I would even wish on my worst enemy.

My name is Casey O'Sullivan. The events that lead to my predicament all truly began a long, long time ago. My youngest days, actually. Maybe even before my birth, this fate had been determined for me. The more I think about it, yes. It was inevitable I'd meet my maker at the hands of Julius Doherty. Hopefully, this will all make sense to you by the time you're done reading. I don't know if I'll be able to even finish telling my story before my imminent death. Forgive my rambling, I'm very foggy in the head. I've gotten ahead of myself. Let me get back to where I started.

Ever since I was a little girl, I'd dreamed about my wedding day. In fact, I actually began planning it as a child, going so far as to have my gown picked out by the time I was 8. After seeing a photo of my great, great grandmother on her wedding day, I knew I wanted a replica of the gown. As expected from a photo from 1890, it was rather low quality and unfortunately deteriorating. Every time I touched the image, another bit of ink seemed to fade or blur into nothingness. Despite this, I could still make out most of the details on the gorgeous dress. Given my determination to preserve the treasured image, I didn't look at it all too often. I'd made a great effort to keep the grainy photo from further eroding. Sealing the photo airtight in a Ziploc bag, I'd tucked it into a labeled envelope and kept it locked in my nightstand drawer.

Logan was my highschool sweetheart. We've been together ever since he asked me to junior year prom. He's the first and only boyfriend I had. In fact, we'd been close friends since childhood, so much so that both our parents joked about us marrying when we grew up.

It was a lovely day when Logan proposed to me. The location may not have seemed anything special to your average person, simply the gardens of our neighborhood park. However, for us, it was the park we'd played as children where we'd met nearly two decades ago.

Logan sat me on one of the aged swings that hung on the faded red set, the same swings that were nearly as old as we were. He'd gotten down on a knee in front of me and asked me to marry him, right there in the wood chips. Being the sentimental person I am, and how much thought he'd clearly put into the proposal, had me in tears of happiness. Of course, I said yes without hesitation.

It was at our engagement party when a tall, strawberry haired, well dressed man approached me. I felt like I knew him but couldn't quite place the name to his face, which was obscured by a pair of mirrored sunglasses despite being indoors. The scar on his neck stood out though, and I wracked my brain attempting to remember where I recognized him from.

Clack! Clack! Clack!

Interrupting my thoughts and before I even could open my mouth, the man spoke quickly but confidently in a hushed tone, "I heard through the grapevine you wanted an authentic Victorian wedding dress. I know where you'll be able to get the perfect, handmade dress better than you could dream. I was sent by the owner to extend this offer, he says to consider it a personal invitation." He took my hand in his own, pressing a slip of paper into my palm before letting go.

Taken aback by the unexpected and sudden encounter with the stranger, I wasn't sure how to immediately respond. For a moment I just stared at him and blinked, then glanced down at the paper he'd given to me. On what appeared to be torn from a notebook page, the words 'Doherty's Dress Shop' had been scrawled, accompanied by what I assumed was the address, along with a date and time. It was only a few blocks away from my apartment yet initially I couldn't recall ever seeing it.

The man startled me as he suddenly spoke again, "It's the Victorian era styled boutique store," he told me, as if he'd read my thoughts.

Hearing that from him was all it took for me to suddenly remember the place. "Oh, yes! I've always been curious to pop in there and have a look, actually. Unfortunately the place has always either been closed or I was in too much a hurry when it was open."

The man smiled widely. "Well, you'll finally get the chance to do so. Simply show up on the time I wrote, the owner has it scheduled as a personal appointment for you."

That night, I debated whether to go to the shop, ultimately deciding to. Despite the odd invitation, it easily could be explained. Likely one of my sisters or close girl friends, all of whom would be bridesmaids, had gone to the shop to surprise me. Yes, that had to be it, given how many times I remembered bringing up the place and my curiosity of it. As for the unnamed stranger who'd given me the invite, I gave up trying to remember where I recognized him, reason being he obviously was an employee of the shop he'd invited me to.

Upon entering the store the following Saturday, I was greeted by a tall, flamboyant man who I assumed to be the owner.

Clack! Clack! Clack!

The heels of leather boots he wore clacked loudly, giving audio to his already striking appearance. Dressed in a button down shirt with shiny gold and blue stripes, it had an oddly pleasing clash with the dark yet bright purplish hair that framed his face, which reminded me of a porcelain doll. On his right cheek bone, a small, black heart had been tattooed beneath his eye.

With a soft, almost harmonic voice, he spoke to me, "I see you accepted my invitation, how wonderful to meet you, ma'am!" The man smiled gently, "and congratulations as well, on the engagement."

Offering my hand out to shake, "Nice to meet you. I've been looking forward to our appointment!"

He didn't take my hand, instead crossing his arms in a manner that felt a bit intimidating. However, the relaxed smile on his dollish face kept me at ease. "As have I! Your sister is acquainted with an employee of mine and happened to mention your wedding to him."

"Oh, yes, that would explain how you knew." Though it hadn't been exactly what I'd assumed previously, it made even more sense and calmed the bit of remaining anxiety I held.

"Mhm," the purple haired man nodded at me "I heard you had something specific in mind?"

"Yes, my great, great grandmother's dress," I reached into my purse to get the treasured photo, "I have a picture I brought with, in fact!"

The tall male wordlessly uncrossed his arms and held out a rather delicate hand. His long, slender fingers were manicured better than my own. I hesitated upon noticing how sharp his glossy, black nails appeared to be.

"Well?" he raised an eyebrow, "I can't read minds you know," the tone of the man's voice was playful and friendly. Once again, my worries were put at rest and I proceeded to hand him the photo.

Snatching it out my hand, the man studied the photo in silence with a blank face for well over a minute. I figured the faded and smudged ink of it was causing him to struggle to figure out whether he'd be able to replicate it accurately.

When he finally looked up at me again, the soft smile had returned to his face. "I can most certainly do that for you," the man spoke enthusiastically. "We'll make sure this dress both meets and exceeds your expectations. You must have a perfect dress for the big day, after all, weddings are always something to celebrate to the fullest extent. How about a lovely pair of white, leather ankle boots to match?"

I beamed, the idea sounding perfect. "Yes, absolutely! Thank you so much!" I had agreed without a second thought.

The photograph was handed back to me. I looked down to inspect the old picture in my hand, expecting to see another mark of wear. Oddly enough, not only was it in the condition it had been previously, the ink actually appeared less faded than before and wrinkles not as noticable. I would have thought more about the weird predicament of the photo, if it hadn't only then occurred, "What's your name, I don't think I caught it?"

However, by the time I looked back, the dark haired male had disappeared. Shuffling through my bag I took out the appointment card which I'd received at the engagement shower. Though I didn't remember any name being on it before, I was surprised to find it had been scrawled on the bottom: Julius Doherty. The name rang a distant bell in my mind, though I couldn't place it.

Tilting my head back up to look for the man who had seemed to vanish in thin air, I was startled to find he now stood directly in front of me.

"Do you believe in God, Casey?" Julius asked softly. His icy blue eyes locked on my own, catching me in a stare down I couldn't escape from.

I blinked at the question, confused at not only the seemingly instantaneous, silent way he'd moved but also baffled at the sudden curiosity in my faith. "Yes," I answered carefully.

"You believe in heaven and hell?" Julius asked in a manner that felt a bit more like an interrogation.

Nodding, I answered, "of course."

"Where would you rather go?" the man asked in a tone that filled me with dread despite the gentleness of his voice.

"Heaven, of course," I told him.

Julius chuckled, shaking his head to himself as if I'd said some joke and motioned me to follow. "Very well, let's go measure you for your gown now, dear. We must make sure it's just perfect!"

As odd as the man's behavior was, I foolishly wrote it off. Chalked it all up to his obvious eccentric and rather quirky personality. Julius was odd, certainly, but as he began to casually chat with me about life and latest celebrity gossip, the strange aspects of him were forgotten. As our lighthearted conversation flowed while he'd taken my measurements, he began to feel like an old friend. Julius was friendly, sweet and kind, even. He decided to make the veil for my wedding gown free of charge and when I pushed back, he insisted.

Once we'd finished covering all the bases for my wedding attire and scheduled my next appointment, Julius saw me out. He walked me to the door and held it for me, a real gentleman.

"You get home safe, now, Casey," he'd told me, opening the door into what I only now realized was early night. I could have sworn I'd been there no longer than two hours at most.

"I will, thank you again, really! Just gotta give Logan a call and let him know I'm alright, he must be worried," I reached to take my phone out. 8:30pm. How the heck had it been over eight hours?!

"You can just blame me," Julius chuckled lightheartedly. "I shouldn't have kept you so long chatting. Time is an odd thing."

I didn't understand exactly what he meant by the last part so I just agreed, as I was running late already and didn't have the time to ask for an explanation. "It is. Alright, I must be going now. I'll see you in a month for the fitting appointment, Julius!" I smiled and gave a wave goodbye. Julius returned the gesture before disappearing into the shop, while I began my trip home.

The appointment for the fitting of my gown had been scheduled for exactly one month later. Today. I woke up this morning thrilled, clueless to the hell, quite literally, I would be walking into.

It was raining and despite leaving a bit early, the weather caused me to run late, albeit only by a few minutes. I was half soaked once I made it into the shop, which seemed to be scented by fresh roses.

"You're late," Julius's voice alerted me to his presence. His tone was flat and he appeared to be rather unpleased by my tardiness.

"My apologies, Mr Doherty, I left early actually. I'm excited for today!" I held my hand out to shake with an apologetic smile.

Upon hearing me, a small smile spread across Julius's face, though it appeared very forced. Rather than returning the offered handshake, the tall male simply crossed his arms across his chest as he'd done our previous meeting. "I, as well, have been looking forward to showing you the dress I've made for you." He turned on the heel of his boot, walking towards the back of his shop and motioning me to follow. "No need for such formalities between us, yes? It's just fine for you to address me as Julius."

"Alright, then, Julius," I agreed, following along, admiring the dresses and various accessories that the shop was packed with.

"Every customer of mine is special to me and means a great deal," he told me as he walked over to a curtain hung in a circle, obscuring whatever was behind it from view.

"You're a kind man," I'd chuckled.

"Oh, you're far too sweet, my dear," he laughed lightly.

For some reason, his reaction made a pit of dread form in my stomach. However, I didn't have more than a second to register it. At the same moment, he whipped open the curtain to reveal the mannequin that modeled what would be my wedding wear.

What immediately caught my attention was how life-like the mannequin appeared to be. A woman, strikingly similar to Julius's own appearance, down to the doll-like face. However, her eyes were ocean blue instead of the near white, icy blue of the dressmaker's.

"Do you like it?" Julius's voice cut through my distraction.

I looked at the gown finally and was taken aback by just how perfect it was. The attention to detail was stunning. Each bead and sequin was placed flawlessly in a manner that could have only been done by hand. The dress successfully made me forget about the oddness of the mannequin that wore it.

"Yes!" I nodded, blinking back tears of joy, "I love it! It's-"

"-perfection." Julius cut me off, finishing my sentence for me. The man smiled proudly at my reaction to his hard work.

"Beyond perfection, thank you, Julius," I beamed at him.

"Shall we get you in the gown to make sure it fits properly, then?" Julius began unbuttoning the gown to remove it from the mannequin, leaving it in a plain underdress slip.

"That sounds wonderful!" I agreed.

Julius showed me over to the dressing room. I changed into the dress in privacy, emerging only once I was ready for him to help button up the back and tie the corset for me.

Clack! Clack! Clack!

Bringing me over to a mirror, Julius helped me on a small platform.

"You remind me so much of my sister," Julius hummed to me in his soft voice, "look just like she did on her wedding day."

He did up the buttons of the dress.

"Oh, you have a sister?" I asked while admiring myself in the gorgeous, hand crafted gown. It was so flawlessly made that may have as well have been a true Victorian era vintage dress.

The corset was laced and tightened to the extent I could hardly breathe.

"I did," the man sighed, placing the lace veil upon my head. Julius stood behind as he adjusted it, while I watched both our reflections in the mirror.

"Did?"

A sad smile on the dressmaker's face was visible. "Yes," Julius spoke, "but she's dead now." There was something about the way sweetness dripped from the words that made my stomach twist.

"I'm sorry to hear," I turned my head to look him in the eyes while expressing my condolences.

"Don't be," Julius's voice grew softer and sickeningly sweet, "she was a real bitch." To my horror, his sad smile warped into a demented grin, showing razor sharp teeth that were inhuman.

"Excuse me?!" I attempted to back away but didn't get very far as I stumbled on the long gown.

Clack! Clack! Clack!

The sound Julius's boots made was deafening as he stepped forward, grabbing my wrist and digging, what I realized in terror were claws, into my flesh. Julius's expression grew unsettlingly gentle again as he spoke, "just as I said, she was exactly like you. No worries, though, my dear Casey! I'll turn you perfect just as I did for her!"

Those words made it click why the mannequin which had modelled my dress resembled the man, the demon, in front of me. That…had been his sister.

I yanked my arm out of his grip in disgust and fear, adrenaline helping me ignore the pain of his claws ripping through my skin. Julius just stood there, watching me with icy, dead eyes and an unreadable expression as I backed up, clutching my injured arm to my chest.

"You…you fucking monster!" I spat.

Clack! Clack! Clack!

I'd made him angry, furious. He reached a clawed hand out towards me again but I managed to just escape it, making a mad dash towards the door.

Clack! Clack! Clack!

I tried the handle but it was stuck, locked. I was trapped.

Clack! Clack! Clack!

I felt my stomach drop as outside the glass, the world blurred and faded until it was nothing but black. It was surreal to witness, as if suddenly everything had been drowned in the darkest ink. There was truly nothing beyond the window panes of the shop.

Clack! Clack! Clack!

"Unfortunately, heaven was never an option for you," Julius hummed.

Clack! Clack Clack!

He was right behind me now. "You're in Hell, Casey."

"Let me go!" I screamed, turning to face my capture.

Julius didn't respond, he simply raised a hand and struck me across the face with enough force I fell to the ground. Something heavy hit my head, there was a searing pain, and then my own vision faded to black just as the world outside the shop had.

I awoke strapped down on the surgery table in the most severe pain of my life. The stench of blood was mixed with the overpowering sweet scent of rotting roses. Looking down at my body, I realized to my horror, I was missing multiple patches of skin. Though I was still dressed in the gown, the fabric had simply been removed along with my flesh beneath. The amount of anguish my body was in prevented me from being able to tell if I was dreaming or not. I was still groggily coming back to reality when I heard the unmistakable sound.

Clack! Clack! Clack!

The clacking of the dressmaker's heels alerted me to his presence. My vision was blurry from pain but I could make out he carried a large pair of old, rusting and dulled but jagged scissors. The blood covering him confirmed that he indeed had skinned me.

Clack! Clack! Clack!

Julius leaned over me while threading a long needle. He almost was singing as he softly spoke, "Pain is perfection…and you'll be perfect forever…here, with me…in Hell."

I wrongfully interpreted this as him possibly wanting company, a friend. "I'll stay, be your friend even! Just don't kill me like this! Please!" I begged, "we can forget about all this and just chat and gossip and-"

Suddenly enraged, Julius cut me off with a smack across the face, snapping loudly, "what in the damn world would make you think I want your friendship, you worthless slut?! You'll be perfect company for me, once you're dead and cannot speak!"

Shocked and in even more pain, I didn't have a chance to respond, as he instantly switched back to a calm and relaxed demeanor.

"Why are you doing this?!" I finally managed to ask between tortured screams.

"Oh, I'm simply making you your wedding dress, my dear." Julius's voice dripped with sickening sweetness. The gentle smile on his lips contrasted with the pure maliciousness in his cold, dead eyes was enough to make bile rise in my throat.

I forced down a gag, choking out, "what?!"

"Skin is such a lovely fabric," Julius hummed the words with a content sigh, stepping next to the makeshift surgery table I was tied to.

The man stared down at me silently for a good minute before slowly lifting his hand which held the scissors into the air. As if to put on a display, he used his index finger and thumb to hold up the large, worn scissors. He smiled for a brief moment before his expression changed into one of focus with pure evil intentions.

Without waiting another second, the demon took the scissors to my skin, cutting in effortlessly. He seemed deaf screams of pain, like he'd tuned me out while going about his slow, torturous work. I thought I was going to pass out from the pain as the old, razor sharp scissors unceremoniously tore into my flesh repeatedly. My vision blackened again and everything spun. For a brief moment I thought I'd be spared from any further agony before my death.

Then, just as my eyes drifted shut and everything faded, I heard his voice. "Oh Casey, wakey wakey!" followed by a painful jab of a large needle into my arm. A sudden, searing pain shot into my body followed by an intense wave of energy and euphoria. I looked over, becoming even more disturbed upon realizing his actions. It was a large syringe that he'd stabbed into my arm, obviously to inject some sort of drug into me.

"We can't let our bride fall asleep on her special day!" Julius sneered in the most gut wrenching sugar sweet voice.

"What the fuck is wrong with you, demon?!" I spat, energized by whatever concoction he'd given me enough to ignore the pain a bit.

"Nothing is wrong with me, my dear," Julius spoke softly in a tone that sounded like he genuinely believed the words. "The only problem here is you, in fact." He talked while continuing to cut into both my dress and skin.

My throat was raw from screaming in agony. The pain had become so blinding I was not sure whether I was beginning to fail to register it completely or if it simply encapsulated my entire existence.

"You see," Julius kept talking. When I didn't look at him, he smacked me across the face with a bloody, clawed hand, "hey! You look at me when I speak, goddamn worthless bitch!" The demon dug his claws into my cheeks, making me turn my head towards him. Shockingly, Julius looked rather calm. "That's better." He patted my cheek then returned to cutting my body. "As I was saying, to make sure your dress is actually perfect and fits flawlessly, I have a trick."

"Oh lemme guess? You sew it right on me?" I managed the sarcastic comment through my misery. My brain ran at warp speed, fueled by whatever amphetamines had been given to me.

"That's exactly right!" Julius responded, delighted. "No need for new hair, so we won't have to scalp you," he smiled, "that's always a very painful process, no one has lived through that. You've actually lived much, much longer than most. I must say, I am impressed, Casey."

"Fuck you!" I spat.

"Such rude language," he responded as if he hadn't been throwing around curses moments ago. "And to think, in response to compliments? A 'thank you, Julius,' would be much more appropriate." He punctuated his words by cutting into my waistline.

"Stop!" I screamed, thrashing about in the restraints.

"Got to make your waist smaller if we want perfection, dear," he patted my cheek again with a blood soaked hand. "No worries, though, we'll get you right stitched up, we will!" A large needle pierced into my skin and I could feel the thread tugging my body into the shape he desired.

"For the love of God, stop, please!" I begged as tears streamed freely down my face.

"There's no God here, Casey, you're in Hell," he repeated his earlier words as he finished stitching me. The other side of my waist was given the same treatment, though I could tell he purposely was taking his time. His expression gave away how much he enjoyed my suffering.

Finally, once Julius was finished, he straightened up right. The noise of his boots could be heard as he backed away.

Clack! Clack! Clack!

"Time to put your boots on you!" Julius declared, moving to the foot of the table.

"Huh?!"

With a grin, the man held up a hatchet for me to see before raising it into the air, preparing to deliver a strike.

"Don't, please-" I never got a chance to finish my sentence.

In one, brutal but clean blow, the limb was severed. I didn't even realize I'd been screaming until I felt a hot iron press against the stump to cauterize it. That feeling was what caused me to screech so loud my vocal cords blew out.

Julius spoke as took his large needle and thread back up, "finally, you've shut the fuck up, thank goodness." With quick yet small pristine stitches, he sewed a white boot over the injury to replace where my foot had been.

I glared the best I could through the torture and my tears, ignoring excruciating misery I was in to give him the middle finger.

Julius simply rolled his eyes and stretched his shoulders before giving my other foot the same treatment as the first. This time he seemed to work quicker, almost in a rush. I couldn't scream but I didn't even want to anymore. Instead, I silently wept and accepted my fate.

….Clack! ....Clack! ….Clack!

He backed away again, covered in my blood. Julius wiped his face down with a cloth then told me, "Usually I prefer to do all my work in one go," he told me as he stared, seemingly admiring what he'd done to me. "However, I have a matter I must attend to briefly."

I must have given him the most baffled expression because he grinned and patted my cheek. "Oh, I'll be back Casey, don't you worry about that." Julius undid the one of the cuffs which had restrained my wrists down. The man took my hand in his own, placing what I realized was my phone in it. "Go ahead and amuse yourself while I'm gone, there is WiFi in Hell." And with that he turned on his heel and walked away.

Clack! Clack! Clack! Bang!

Julius had left the room, slamming the heavy door behind himself in what seemed like a rage.

That leads me to where I am now, typing this out, trying to finish in time before he returns. It's been well over an hour.

Before I began writing this, I spent a brief bit of time searching up his name. After browsing various results, I discovered something that disturbed me deeply. His sister…Annabella O'Sullivan, she's my great, great grandmother. And she…she killed him, back in 1898. Behind his shop, she murdered Julius single bullet to the face. Which I realized is right where his heart tattoo now sat. It was only a few weeks later Annabella disappeared under mysterious circumstances, along with her husband, my great, great grandfather. Their children had been left orphaned, which explains why I'm here today.

What led her to kill him remains a mystery to me. Maybe he'd hurt her…or maybe, just maybe, could she have done something that warranted her to meet the same ending which I soon will?

These questions will never be something I'll find the answer to. I don't have much time left. Once Julius returns, it's inevitable my death will come swiftly. I'm already bleeding out. My vision is turning hazy and I'm beginning to no longer be able to think straight.

I'm no longer afraid. Telling my story has come to set me at ease with my fate. The pain has faded to numbness. I'm already at peace, knowing this will all be over shortly.

One final time, I must beg of you: do not fall for this demon's tricks and trap. Don't fall for his disguise as harmless, he's anything but that. Should you be invited to a place by a tall man with a scarred neck, don't speak to him and run away as fast as you can. I figured out once you engage, these monsters can plant false memories. I never knew this shop, in fact, it never was here before I was invited. And if you can't, then may Lord have mercy on your soul. I met the Dressmaker from Hell, I hope you never do.

Clack! Clack! Clack!

Please, tell my family, friends and fiance, Logan, that I love them all, so very much.

Clack! Clack! Clack!

Sincerely,

Casey O'Sullivan

…Clack! …Clack! ….Clack! …BANG!

[art from 2024]

[image 1: redone cover art; image 2: what happened after the end; that's Casey, yeah]

[thebookreader12345]

750 Followers Celebration - Q&A

Thank you so much for supporting me through this journey! You guys don't know how much this means to me. Every single one of you is amazing.

Below the cut are my answers to the questions that you all submitted.

Q: Do you think Jay is going to become Sergeant this season? A: There has been a lot of debate over this question because of the past few seasons and all of the "Easter eggs", like the sergeant exam poster hanging in the background of the show. In my opinion, I do not believe Jay will become Sergeant. Yet. I think it won't be until the beginning of next season because, if this is a possible storyline, I would expect that the producers and writers would make the finale of season 9 about Voight stepping down/getting promoted, etc.

Q: Did Chicago Justice deserve more episodes? A: I'm sort of split with this question. I loved the fact that there was a big episode involving Kevin, and they always included people from Med, Fire, and PD in some of the episodes. However, the whole plot of the episodes was kind of slow because it wasn't like they were police officers and could go out and chase suspects and arrest people and what not. Their job was just to gather the evidence and then present it in court. I think for many, the show fell flat because there wasn't much action, and part of me does agree with that, but the whole idea of the show itself was kind of cool.

Q: What would make you stop watching each Chicago show? A: This is a tough question because I've only ever dropped one show that I can think of, and it was only because the plotline got really dumb. Maybe if some major characters died in each show I'd stop watching it? But then again, I love the One Chicago universe so much that I don't think even that would stop me from watching. So yeah. I really don't know.

Q: Do you believe in magic? A: As much as I would love for magic to be real, I don't believe it is. But I feel like everyone thinks that way. Cause lets be honest, Harry Potter and Disney make magic look so cool. However, we all know deep down somewhere that it's almost impossible for certain things to be real, and magic just so happens to be one of them.

Q: Are you superstitious? A: I'm not the most superstitious person out there, but I do somewhat follow a few superstitions. Whenever I find a penny on the ground with heads facing up, I pick it up because I believe I'll get good luck. Doing the whole "fingers crossed" thing is something I do a lot. I believe you shouldn't open an umbrella in the house or else you'll receive bad luck. Broken mirrors are bad omens. Those are the top 4 I believe in, but other than that, I'm not really too superstitious.

Q: Is your perception of yourself similar or the same to how others perceive you? A: I mean, I would hope so. I appreciate my level of smarts, and whenever my friends acknowledge them or compliment me on them it makes my day. However, with that, people think that I'm always only doing things to boost my intelligence. For example, I love to read. So whenever I say that I didn't do much over the weekend, people always assume that I read a bunch, when I really didn't. Or that I always study for tests or do homework like a week before it's do. That is not the case. But for the most part, I believe my perception of myself is the same as how other people perceive me.

Q: Who is your favorite couple on each One Chicago show? A: Okay, so for Med, there aren't really any couples at the moment besides Maggie and Ben, whom I love but they aren't my favorite, so I'm gonna pick a past couple. When I first started Med, Manstead was my prime ship, so I'll choose them. Will had been pining after Natalie for so long so I was glad when they finally got together. For Fire, it's gotta be Kelly and Stella. They were literally made for each other, and they support each other with everything. Also, they are so cute together and all of Firehouse 51 ships them as well! And for PD, while I do love Burzek, Upstead is my favorite ship at the moment. I've seen the connection between Hailey and Jay since season 5. You don't understand how angry I was in season 7 when Hailey was so close to confessing her feelings. So season 8 made me very happy when Jay and Hailey finally got together.

Q: Jay and Lindsey or Jay and Hailey? A: I respect everyone's opinions on this matter, so hopefully you all respect mine. I thought that Erin was almost toxic in a way for Jay. She continuously broke his heart when all he wanted to do was help him. But what really does it for me is that she left Chicago without telling him goodbye. Hailey, on the other hand, has pushed Jay to seek out help when he needed it, like when she recommended he take seeing a therapist seriously to help with his PTSD, and she is always there for him, no matter what. That's why I believe Hailey and Jay are the better pairing.

Q: Which character death got to you the most? A: There have been too many sad deaths in the One Chicago world. But if I had to pick one, I've gotta go with Otis on Chicago Fire. Otis was always one of my favorite characters, even way back when I watched Fire with my dad when it was first coming out. He was witty and funny, and his friendship with Cruz was everything. So, when I watched the episode where he died, I was full on balling. I had to pause the episode for 10 minutes because I couldn't stop.

Q: Who is your favorite character on each show and why? A: I'm gonna do favorite male and female character because I've got too many favorites from each show. On Med, my favorites are Will and Natalie. Will has been my favorite since day one, and I like that he will go out of his way to help patients, even if it means he could get in serious trouble. Natalie, even though she's not in the show, always pushes for the best of care for her patients, and whenever she dealt with kids it was always the sweetest thing. On Fire, I like Kelly and Sylvie. Kelly is so headstrong and driven, and he will do anything to protect the other members of Squad 3. Sylvie is such a hard worker and you can tell she is passionate about her job. I feel so bad that she's had to go through so many partners. On PD I love Jay and Hailey. Jay has not always been my favorite male character. Back when I watched the show for the first time, I adored Adam. However, I love that Jay has such good morals and is always pushing to do the right thing even when Voight disagreed. Now, it took a few episodes for me to warm up to Hailey, but after seeing her be so badass, it was hard not to like her.

Q: Where do you get inspiration for your stories?/How do you get inspiration when there's not a request? A: This question is always hard to answer because I really don't know. Most of the time I'm fulfilling requests sent in by you guys and I just write what comes to the top of my mind. If there are requests that are not requested and I come up with them on my own, chances are I saw the plot somewhere else, like in a book or show or movie, and I just tweaked it a bit to fit the One Chicago universe. Either that happens, or while I'm trying to fall asleep, I make up random scenarios in my head, and if I find one that I really like, I'll make a note of it on my phone so I don't forget it, and then I'll write about it.

Q: Do you think Brett and Casey are endgame? Why or why not? A: I'm gonna go with yes on this one. Now, Brettsey is not one of my top ships in the universe. However, they are cute together, and I've been expecting them to get together for a while. The two of them, even when Gabby was around, had a great relationship and always cared for each other. Plus, Matt jumped out of a firetruck to go help Sylvie when the ambulance flipped. He was willing to risk an injury just to make sure she was okay. And now that they are officially together in Chicago Fire, you can see that they really love and care for each other.

Q: What inspired you to start writing? A: I always seem to get this question whenever I do a q&a, but that's okay because I don't mind talking about it. I first got into stuff like this as a reader. Basically, I went on to Wattpad and Tumblr to read other people's stories. I had no intention of creating my own. And then, one day, I started imagining myself in some of the fandoms I was apart of, and I thought, "If I'm imagining myself in these fandoms, chances are others are too," and I began creating stories that followed the plots of movies and shows exactly, just adding Y/n in it. However, that got tiring after a while because I wasn't able to have much freedom because I was following a set script, and that's when I remembered I had a Tumblr account I never used. So, I revamped my account just a little bit and started posting story ideas I had that I couldn't post on Wattpad because either they didn't fit with the stories or they were for someone I didn't write for on Wattpad. And now, here we are. For anyone interested, I've posted this before but I'll post it again, my Wattpad handle is @Writer_Reader05.

Q: Jay or Will Halstead? A: I'm sorry, but I really can't choose between the two of them. I love them both so much. Will and Jay are two of my favorite characters in the whole One Chicago universe. While they do have some qualities that I'm not the fondest of, at the end of the day, I adore the both of them, and I could never choose between them.

Q: Who would you rather date: Jay or Will Halstead? A: Why do you guys do this to me? I love them both so much! But, if I have to choose, I'm gonna pick Jay. The only reason is because I like the characters in PD more than Med, so if I'm dating Jay, chances are I'm friends with Hailey and Adam and all of Intelligence. Will is just as awesome as Jay though and I feel like sometimes people sleep on that.

Q: Which of the requested fics you’ve written is your favorite? A: I think I'm gonna have to go with a Jay Halstead x reader I wrote titled Two Becomes Three. Something about the plot just makes me smile. And to think of Jay being a father......So yeah, while I have so many amazing requested fics thanks to you all, that one has to be one of my favorites.

Q: What’s your favorite series you’ve written so far? A: I love all of the series I have written. Something about creating a whole story that's more than just one part is always fun. If I have to pick one series, I'm gonna pick On the Loose. It was the first series I wrote on Tumblr and the plot of it is something I'm really proud of. However, From the Big Apple to the Windy City, Identity Loss, and Difference of Opinion are all amazing! The first two are finished series and the last one still has a few chapters left to go. Go check them out if you haven't already.

Q: What's your favorite imagine you've come up with and why? A: I don't have a lot of fics that are solely my ideas. Most of my stories have plots that were sent in by you all. However, if I had to pick a favorite out of my stories, it'd be Back Home for Christmas, a Halstead Sister fic I released when I was somewhat new to the platform. Something about writing sibling fics always makes me happy because I get to express the familial side to the characters.

Q: If you had to be roommates with 5 of your mutuals/fellow writers, who would you pick and why? A: I love all of my fellow writers/mutuals so much! I know how much work we put into whatever we post, and most of us are very active on this site. As for who I would pick to be my roommates, I'd choose @hereforhalstead @fighterkimburgess @halsteadlover @resanoona @sylviebrettsey because I feel like we'd all have great conversations, mainly over One Chicago. And every Wednesday night we'd all watch the episodes live together and experience them as a group and then freak out over what happened..........Now watch me fantasize about this all day.

Q: Do you listen to music when you write? A: It depends. On some days when I plan that I'm gonna write, then yes, I do put on some music. When there are days that I have a few minutes to spare, I don't put on music just because I'm only writing for a few minutes and I don't want to waste time. But mostly when I'm writing I do play music in the background.

Q: Do you know how your fics/stories end before you finish writing it? A: This is a really interesting question. The answer is no, I do not know how I'm gonna end a fic before I finish writing it. The only story I had a set ending for was my series On the Loose, but that one wasn't even fully planned out until I got a chapter or two in. Obviously, if I get a request that includes a set ending, like two characters get together or something like that, then I know what the ending will be. Otherwise, I have no clue.

Q: Have you ever met someone who had a very similar personality to your own? Did you get along? A: You know, I can't say that I have. Everyone is different in their own way, and that's what makes us all unique. I would imagine if I did meet someone with a similar personality we'd get along because we'd basically be a carbon copy of each other, but who knows. Maybe our similar personalities would cause us to clash.

Q: Do you hold yourself to higher standards than you hold others? A: Not really. I know myself more than anyone else so I know what my limits are and when I've reached them. With people, on the other hand, I always feel like they can be doing more with themselves and their lives. So I do not hold myself to higher standards than others.

Thank you to all of you who sent in questions! I never thought I'd reach 750 followers on this platform. The only reason I have is all thanks to you wonderful people out there!

@winterberryfox @maximeevansblog @scarletsoldierrr @i-like-sparkly-things @dreamingmanip @soph0864 @ryliegh8 @lorenakaspersen @wanniiieeee @nevertoofarfromivar @securityfriendly-jay @pinkbay-love @stephie123

[ariparri]

Calum Introduction Post

Calum was voted in a character poll in the HPHM Amino. So here's a simple introduction post to get him started!

Name:

Calum Nikko Karasu-Ivey

Nickname:

Cal

Brototype (by Raylene)

Broccoli (bro-ccoli) (by Raylene)

Brotagonist (by Raylene)

Cellito

Loyalty:

Ravenclaw

Karasu Family

Ivey Family

Relations:

Carson Ivey (father)

Tulip Karasu-Ivey (mother)

Raylene Karasu-Ivey (sister)

Hudson Ivey (grandfather)

Raylene Ivey (grandmother)

Rose Karasu (grandmother)

Ren Karasu (grandfather)

Appearance:

Calum is a young male with fair skin, dark hair like his father which he combs over to the left and brown eyes like his mother. He often wears an uncertain or worried expression.

His casual consists of a dark blue button up shirt with a reddish brown jacket. He wears smokey blue pants with maroon shoes and two silver chain chokers. His Hogwarts attire has him wear the standard Ravenclaw uniform without the robe and a vest rather than the sweater.

Magic Qualities:

Boggart

A laughing or booing audience

Patronus

Brown Owl

Wand

11 inches” Pine Wood with wolf heartstring which enhances the owner's adaptability in combat and has a fairly plain look

Mirror of Erised

Performing in front of an audience in the Royal Opera House

Personality:

Calum is quite the socially awkward older brother to Raylene. He has a bit of an inferiority complex where he feels like he's being overshadowed by his own sister as she retains most of their parents' shared qualities. What he doesn’t realize is that Raylene also feels quite inferior to him due to his effortless skills to cast spells where she can hardly cast one at all.

Despite his low self esteem, he is quite intelligent. He is able to grasp complex concepts, quick to notice when someone is lying or point out hypocrisy.

Calum, like his father, has a love for music. Though he isn’t as open about it like Carson is, he will talk about his passion as if it was the only thing to talk about till he forces himself to stop and apologize for rambling. When he plays, he’s focused on the music and seems to be disconnected with his surroundings until his performance is done.

Origin:

Calum is the older brother to Raylene and only son to Carson and Tulip Karasu-Ivey. He attended Hogwarts along with his friend, Marisol Caplan and her sister Carina. While in Hogwarts, he spent most of his time in the library studying or in the Astronomy Tower to play some music. He would sometimes be invited to join the Frog Choir to perform for the entire student body.

Current Role:

After graduating from Hogwarts, Calum decided to go to a muggle university to continue studying, particularly for music, rather than take on a magic based career. While he is perfectly okay with magic, he doesn’t see himself following through with it for the rest of his life. He visits his family every now and then. He’s working towards getting a degree in music and the performing arts.

Favorite Quotes:

"You know those times when nothing's going your way? How do you get past them?"

"As you can probably see, I'm having a little trouble... Please, help me.”

"The sooner we get this done, the sooner I can get back to reading."

"Getting angry is what you want me to do. So no."

"Ray, why do I always have to be your guinea pig? Isn't that the reason why you built those little contraptions?"

"Listen, Ray. I know we don't always get along, we're still family. I'm your brother, you can always ask me for help."

"Marisol is very... frightening... I'd rather not get on her bad side. Ever."

"Um, I don't know how to say this, but I saw this coming..."

Fun Facts:

Like his father, animals and creatures, with the exception of Dennis and Pudge, do not like him but he has a better experience with most of them.

He's an introvert who spends most of his time reading a book to the point he forgets that time is passing and someone has to pull him away from it.

Calum has a pine cone in his possession as it was the first thing Raylene had ever given him something when she was younger. She thought it was something special and wanted to give it to Calum. She doesn’t know he kept it all this time.

Calum showed interest in music when he was younger and started taking lessons to play the cello.

He has a ridiculous amount of nicknames by Raylene. All in some form of calling him ‘bro.’ Brosky, Brotein Shake, Brofile, Broseidon King of the Bro-cean, Brodin, Brotato Chip, et tu Brote, Brometheus, Bro-bo Cop, Brolitical, Brofessional, etc. The list goes on.

🚫No Reposting🚫

[odyssey-system]

Enchanted: Part of Your World #1

"Can you do me a favor, sweetheart?"

Fiona Seville was on the phone with her father Dave as she sat on the couch in her apartment. Her frizzy hair was a slight mess as she adjusted her legs. "Y-Yeah, of course, Dad."

She could hear him sigh on the other end of the phone, along with a cough. "I was supposed to go to a benefit masquerade ball tomorrow night. The one that I go to every year."

"Right! The one for state arts programs?"

"That's right. Well... I can't make it this year. I ended up with bronchitis and your brothers have to take care of me at home."

Fiona frowned. "I'm sorry, Dad..."

"It's alright. I was just wondering, since you were closer, could you make the donation in my place at the ball?"

She bit her lip. She was not typically a person to deal with large crowds, but for the only parent in her life, she'd take a leap of faith. "O-Okay but if I make the donation for you, can you transfer me replacement money after?"

"Of course, sweetheart. You have my word."

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

After a few phone calls with her agent, Ethan Blake, Fiona was able to donate money, book a ride and acquire an outfit for the night. She'd spent the past few days looking around for pop culture tidbits she might have missed over the past week or so. She practiced talking to people in the mirror, and she arranged to get out an hour early from work that day.

So now, here she was, sitting in the front seat of a Dryve car in a stunning silver ballgown made by one of Ethan's friends, Addison Sinclair. The driver wasn't much for conversation, preferring to listen to the radio, but she didn't mind.

Eventually, the car pulled up to the designated drop-off point for the masquerade in front of the Sheridan Hotel in downtown Los Angeles, a line of paparazzi along the velvet roped red carpet. Fiona put on her mask and took a deep breath.

Showtime.

Fiona made her way out into the stream of flashing lights, walking toward the start of the red carpet. She only recognized one face in the line of paparazzi: Ana de Luca of Trend Magazine, one of her favorites. She put on her sweetest smile as she heard murmurs about how no one knew who she was, and she prepared for the barrage of questions with a nervous glimmer in her eyes.

Surprisingly, none of them approached her but she was asked to pose for pictures, to which she obliged.

What mattered more to her was getting inside after speaking to both of the hotel's front door bouncers and the bellhop, who helped her find the ballroom in which most of the event was held.

The ballroom was massive, much more extravagant and intimidating than Fiona could have ever imagined. It felt like she was walking around in a fish tank full of people.

It terrified her.

"This place is pretty cool, isn't it?" A young man in his early twenties asked her confidently. "Definitely better than my prom."

Fiona smiled, the conversation alleviating some of her nerves. "Yeah, it's beautiful in here."

"Is this your first time going to this?"

"Yeah."

The man gave an understanding smile. "Me too. I'm Chadley."

"I'm Fiona." She fixed her hair and her mask, shifting her remaining nerves into movement.

Chadley smiled. "Do you want to go get something to drink?"

Fiona nodded back at him. "I'd like that."

The two made their way over to a table with refreshments, Chadley immediately going over to the flutes of champagne. "Bubbly?"

"No thanks." She tried looking for other drinks but only ended up finding water on the table. She grabbed a glass and a reusable straw kit, following Chadley.

"How'd you get an invite to this party? Did you have to pass some initiation or something?"

Fiona laughed. "No. Why, did you?"

"Yeah, kind of! Mr. Groot said that I needed to start sharing my brain cells with my kind and jump into a canyon with no braces for my teeth." He said it with nonchalance, making Fiona recoil a little. His eyes widened. "No no, it's okay! My agent Ethan told me that it was his way of saying I needed to venture out of my comfort zone or something.

She sighed in relief. "This Groot guy might need to find a better way to come across with what he's saying correctly... But at least you have Ethan. He's my agent too."

"Oh sweet! He always has the best suits."

Fiona could think of a few other outstanding qualities about Ethan that would rank higher, but she did have to give Chadley that. "What do you do?"

"I'm a film actor. What about you?"

"Oh! Um..." Fiona's cheeks tinged pink slightly. "I'm a barista but I do have this character acting gig. I do birthday parties and stuff."

"That's cool! Do you like it?"

"Yeah! It's fun to make characters on your own that you can help people with, you know?"

"Hell yeah! So are you working during this party then?"

She shook her head. "No, my dad's a composer. He comes here every year, but he got sick and couldn't make it this time. He wanted me to make a donation this year for him, and I'd do anything for my dad."

"I get you. I'm gonna go talk to more people but-" He took a napkin and wrote down a set of digits. "Here's my cell phone number if you need something. I've gone to some stuff like this, I can help you."

Fiona smiled warmly. "You're so sweet, Chadley! I appreciate this, thank you."

"No worries, Fiona! Hope I see you around." He went off into another portion of the ballroom.

Afte watching him go and making sure he was alright, Fiona went to go sit next to the stage. It was sparsely used at the moment, a few musicians tuning and doing mic checks. She took a few minutes to browse her Pictagram feed idly, pausing on a post by the Wilshere siblings when she noticed something familiar about the backdrop.

"Excuse me." A tall male with shoulder-length hair and a beard said as he approached, gentle and calm with his security badge visible on his belt. "I need you to not block the stairs, ma'am."

Fiona blushed and glanced at the stairs. "Sorry, sir..."

"It's okay. Some of the acts are just ready to sound check."

"Right, of course." She followed him out of the way before spotting a pair of blondes approaching the stage: the Wilshere twins.

Fiona was in awe.

The male of the pair nodded to the security guard. "Thank you, Damien." He turned to Fiona. "Sorry for making you find a new wallflower spot. We just don't want anyone to get hurt, especially a charming young thing like you."

"Arthur! Don't tease the poor girl!" His sister strode over and gave a wide, warm smile. "Sorry about him." She took Fiona's hands. "You seem overwhelmed, love. Are you alright?"

Starstruck but true to Avery's observation, Fiona bit her lip. "I'm not used to navigating parties like this."

"I understand. These things can make a girl feel so small in a world so big, especially for your first time at one of these parties." She squeezes her hands. "There's a few different rooms next to the ballroom being rented out for the ball as well. Those might help you find a smaller group of people around here."

"Avery? Your turn for sound check," her brother called out.

The blonde sighed. "I have to go. But you've got this. I believe in you."

Fiona watched Avery go onto the stage, still anxious but more hopeful than before. She gave both her and Arthur a wave before walking around the ball a bit more.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

After half an hour of roaming all of the other rooms, Fiona found herself in one that resembled a casino. It was a bit smaller than the other rooms, which helped her anxiety, but it felt very much like a boys' club in there with the amount of older men. Several men stared at her as she walked in, appraising her like jewelry. Or worse. She did her best to not give them any ideas or pay them any mind.

Unsatisfied playing games with any of the older men, she made her way over to the bar that was for the most part unoccupied. She sat on the other end of the bar, ordering a coffee instead of alcohol because of her need to have a clear head to survive the night.

When her coffee arrived, the waitress also placed a notebook in front of her, a pen tied to the spiral. She opened it cautiously, seeing neat handwriting on the first page.

Are you alright?

Fiona looked up from her spot and noticed the only other patron at the bar: a younger male but still considerably older than her, nursing a glass of scotch in his hand. His eyes met hers, and he smiled genuinely back at her. She pointed to him and then down at the notebook. He nodded in response. She quickly wrote a response after grabbing a pen from her purse:

Yeah. My first time at one of these events. It's a little scary.

She slid the notebook over to him so the waitress didn't have to do it. She watched him write, moving his hand in a gentle and elegant fashion, before he slid it back to her.

I understand. I didn't want to scare you and add to that. Do you want to sit with me?

Fiona took a moment to collect her thoughts before sliding her purse onto her shoulder. She collected the notebook and her coffee, walking over to sit next to him. "Sorry. I-I just figured if my answer was yes, I didn't want to be redundant.

He nodded in reply. "That's alright. I'm Thomas, by the way."

She smiled. "I'm Fiona."

I want you to know I'm a mirrorball I'll show you every version of yourself tonight

Thomas crossed his legs, right over left. "So what got you to come out here tonight, Fiona?"

"I-I came for my dad. He normally comes down here but he's sick this year."

"What's your last name?"

"Seville."

The name seemed to click in Thomas's head. "Ah yes, I believe I'm somewhat familiar. Dave's his name, right?"

"Y-Yeah."

"I remember him. We've met in passing before, I believe. The most I know is that he's a composer. Are you in the music industry as well?"

I'll get you out on the floor Shimmering beautiful And when I break, it's in a million pieces

Fiona shook her head. "Not exactly. I'm a barista most days, but I also do children's birthdays and other stuff like that as a costume actor. Sometimes it involves singing, but it's not the bread and butter of what I do."

Thomas smiled. "Impressive. You definitely achieve the Disney princess aesthetic tonight."

She blushed. "Thank you. You look nice too."

Hush, when no one is around, my dear You'll find me on my tallest tip-toes Spinnin' in my highest heels, love Shinin' just for you

The two could hear the bartender turn on the television, and a picture of Thomas without a mask on flashed across the screen as part of a television tabloid, along with his full name.

Mortified, Thomas partly covered his face with his hand.

Fiona looked at him sympathetically, reaching for his empty hand. "Is everything okay?"

Hush, I know they said the end is near But I'm still on my tallest tip-toes Spinnin' in my highest heels, love Shinin' just for you

"I... I have a problem with fangirls sometimes." He held her hand gently. "I'm sorry."

She shook her head. "D-Don't be." She looked around. "In all fairness, half of the people here look like you because of the masks and everything."

He uncovered his face. "You're not even a little starstruck at me?"

Fiona smiled and shook her head again. "I-I mean, I *do* know who you are now. But... I mostly look at Trend and music industry magazines, so I don't get your exposure a lot."

I want you to know I'm a mirrorball I can change everything About me to fit in

Thomas took another sip of his scotch, contemplating her words. "Well... What is your impression of me, then?"

You are not like the regulars The masquerade revelers Drunk as they watch my shattered edges glisten

She looked at him thoughtfully. "I-I think you seem like a hard worker. You have ambitions that aren't always in the realm of reality, but you try. And you make every effort to keep your private life and your work separate. You think art is a second life in and of itself."

Thomas sat silent for a moment, stunned. "And how did you manage to decipher all of that?"

Fiona's smile hinted at a hidden laughter. "You don't seem like you've sold your soul to any towel rack of a tabloid, Mr. Hunt."

He knew the game she was playing now. She seemed to warm up to him quickly, something that could hurt them both if they weren't careful.

But the angle she was going for now? Two could play at that game.

Hush, when no one is around, my dear You'll find me on my tallest tip-toes Spinnin' in my highest heels, love Shinin' just for you

"You'd think correctly, Ms. Seville," he said with a regal and teasing side-smirk. "However, seems it's my turn to pick your brain."

Fiona flushed, almost retreating from the teasing as her fingers on one hand started playing with the edges of her frizzy hair. "G-Go ahead."

Thomas was gentle as he shifted on the barstool, taking a full look at her. "You are definitely in touch with your inner child in a way I don't see often around here. Not necessarily the innocence, but you tap into that with your curiosity, your sincerity, your kindness."

Fiona shied away slightly at the very accurate read of her.

He let her have a moment to recover before continuing to speak. "I would love to have more time to figure you out fully, to get to know you, person to person... if you'll have me."

Hush, I know they said the end is near But I'm still on my tallest tip-toes Spinnin' in my highest heels, love Shinin' just for you

She looked up at him with soft silver-blue eyes, searching herself for the answer as she contemplated his request. "O-Okay. Can some of that time be without a crowd...?"

He smiled. "I know just the place." He took her by the hand and led her out to an open balcony, pulling her into a slow dance as the door closed after them when they got outside. He led her, one arm around her waist and the other holding her head protectively to his chest.

And they called off the circus Burn the disco down When they sent home the horses And the rodeo clowns I'm still on that tightrope I'm still trying everything to get you laughing at me

She pulled away from the close embrace, moving to hold his hands again. "I-I..."

Thomas smiled, a patient ease to his posture. "Yes, Fiona?"

"Can we have... more than just tonight to know each other?"

He held her cheek. "I would love nothing more."

And I'm still a believer, but I don't know why I've never been a natural All I do is try, try, try I'm still on that trapeze I'm still trying everything to keep you looking at me

In an instant, her lips tilted to reach his.

And nothing else that night mattered for a weightless, ethereal, eternal moment.

Because I'm a mirrorball I'm a mirrorball I'll show you every version of yourself tonight

[my-mystic-messenger]

I saw that a while back you wrote about who needs therapy the most in the RFA. Going off of that, since I see this discussed a lot in the fandom, who do you think might have suffer from mental illness? Everyone struggles and is deserving of help. That's obvious and I hope people know that. I just see a lot of different opinions on the subject, and since (with the exclusion of Rika) nothing's ever confirmed in-game, I'd love to get your perspective. Your analyses are so well-done!

This request was a little difficultmainly because I really don’t want to insult anyone or say somethingwrong that could hurt anyones feelings or such. Therefor I want topreface this by saying that I am, by no means, a professional. Iwanted to become a Psychiatrist so I did learn a couple of things onmy own, but nowhere near enough to be accurate about everything. Ihave a couple of ideas what kind of mental illnesses the MysticMessenger crew might have based on internet research, but as alwaysdon’t quote me on this…

|| REQUEST ARE (ALWAYS)OPEN!! ||

♬ Zen =  Body Dysmorphic Disorderor BDD ♬

HonestlyI don’t reallythink that Zen has any mental illnesses, after all you can strugglein life without it being a full blown mental illness, but if I wouldhad to say one that he might have I’d choose BDD. Not all peoplesuffering from BDD are those stick thin girls that see themselves asoverweight when looking in the mirror. There are many nuances toevery mental disorder, including BDD. Let’s have a look why I thinkZen mighthave BDD:✓ preoccupation with physical appearance

✓ belief that one has an abnormality or defect in appearance thatmakes her ugly

✓ frequently looking in the mirror

✗ avoiding mirrors altogether

✓ believing that others take special notice of ones appearance in anegative way

✗ frequent cosmetic procedures with little satisfaction

✓ excessive grooming

✓ feeling extremely self-conscious

✗ refusing to appear in pictures

✗ skin picking

✓ comparing appearance with that of others

✗ avoiding social situations

✓ camouflaging (with body position, clothing, makeup, hair, hats,etc.)

✓ excessive exercise

✓ changingclothes excessively As I said many times before, I feel likeZen’s excessive narcissism is nothing but a facade to hide that hereally just hates his body and himself due to what happened in hischildhood. In order to overcome one negative extreme he throughhimself into another extreme, self-hate to excessive self-love, evengoing as far as to pursue a career where everyone could and would seehim. He constantly talks about his looks, is self-conscious about hisalbinism, constantly stares at himself in mirrors or phones, knowsthat people notice his albinism and fears it’s negative, constantlygrooms himself, is self-conscious, has an excessive need to comparehimself to others, exercises excessively and for his job heconstantly has to camouflage and change clothing. Out of all thesymptoms for it, Zen sure fits a lot of them. There is even agood reason why he might have it:

?   having biological relatives with body dysmorphic disorder

✓ childhood teasing

?  physical or sexual abuse

✓ low self-esteem

✓ societalpressure or expectations of beauty

He got teased by his parents and hatedby his teacher. He had low self-esteem because of it and then ofcourse societal pressure got added to the mix later on once he becamean actor. I’m not sure whether he suffered physical or sexual abuse,although I wouldn’t completely cut out the possibility, if youconsider that it was hinted at that his teacher had a thing for himas well as the fact that his parents seemed like the abusive type andhe was in a biker gang. I also don’t know whether his parents mighthave had BDD, but it is a possibility. Either way, looking at allthis Zen could be suffering from BDD, although I don’t fully believehe does.

★ Yoosung = Addictive PersonalityDisorder ★

Ialready mentioned before that I think that Yoosung has quite theaddictive personality and look there, the shoe kind of fits. I’mbasically 99% sure that Yoosung has some kind of addictivepersonality disorder or something similar now let’s see why:✓Low self-esteem

✓ A tendency to impulsive behaviour

✗ An antisocial personality

✓ Difficulty delaying gratification

✓ A disposition toward sensation seeking

✓ Someone who values nonconformity to an extreme

✓ Someone with a weak commitment to the goals for achievement thatare generally accepted by “normal” society

✓ Someone who is tolerant of deviant behaviour

✓ Someone who is socially alienated

✓ Having an increased sense of stress

Basically…almostall of the symptoms fit to some extend or the other. It is undeniablethat Yoosung has low self-esteem, something that is mentioned inbasically all of the routes. He is very impulsive and never thinksthings through, like getting his eye almost cut out by one SaeranChoi, because he just had to safe you right then right now withoutplanning. He barely makes any friends outside of his games and thepeople he already knew, namely the RFA members, when Yoosungs wantsto play he needs to do it instantly without any patience to wait, hehas given up on studying in order to pursue his addiction – gaming– tolerates a lot of deviant behaviour going on in the RFA, namelywhatever one particular hacker is up to, and despite being a lazyfart who never cleans nor studies nor does care for himself properlyhe seems to be under constant stress. On top of that he is completelyobsessed with the women in his life; first Rika then you. He latcheson and is incapable of letting go until something new comes aroundthat catches his attention. All of these are pretty fitting, don’tyou think?

♨ Jaehee = Anxiety Disorder♨

Justlike with Zen I don’t really think that Jaehee has any disorders orillnesses in particular, just your every day stress of Koreanworkplaces wearing her down. However, if I had to pick one that mightbe fitting it would be Anxiety Disorder. To clarify, I don’t reallymean the anxiety most people would picture; being afraid to speak inpublic etc – as we all know that Jaehee is capable of doing that –but more on the lines of being constantly stressed and on edge:?  Irrational fears

✓ Muscle tension

?  Chronic indigestion

?  Stage fright

✓ Self-consciousness

✓ Panic, fear, and uneasiness

?  Flashbacks

✓ Perfectionism

?  Compulsive behaviors

✓ Self-doubt

✓ Problems sleeping

✓ Not being able to be still and calm

✓ Dizziness (mentioned in one of thebad endings)The amount of question marks is precisely why Idon’t really think she has it, but potentially could. A lot of thosewe cannot know for sure, as such things are never explicitlymentioned or even hinted in in the game, but I definitely could seebeing the case. I’m about 90% sure that Jaehee has compulsivebehaviours as well as the kind of flashbacks connected to anxietydisorder. I also believe that while she is able to hold a meetingthat speaking in front of people is something she had to forceherself to learn and that Jaehee actually has stage fright. As forany physical symptoms I can’t even deduce whether she might have themor not, but as I said I could imagine it. Then again, I’m really notsure and this is all just me thinking of possibilities I don’t reallythink are true.

♛Jumin = Obsessive Compulsive PersonalityDisorder ♛

This is something I have personalexperience with, since I have OCPD. Just as a side note, OCPD is notOCD and has very little in common with what you see OCD beingportrayed as in the media. Also, to make something clear, I am notgiving my favourite my own disorder to feel connected to him. I feelconnected to him, because I feel like he has the same disorder. Juminis very similar to me, which is why I understand his struggles thebest and connect to him. Now enough about me, let’s dig into whatOCPD is and why I think Jumin has it:

Obsessive-Compulsive PersonalityDisorder is characterized by a preoccupation with orderliness,perfectionism, and mental and interpersonal control, at the expenseof flexibility, openness, and efficiency.

- may have such difficulty decidingwhich tasks take priority or what is the best way of doing someparticular task that they may never get started on anything.

- prone to becoming upset or angry insituations in which they are not able to maintain control of theirphysical or interpersonal environment, although the anger istypically not expressed directly. On other occasions, anger may beexpressed with righteous indignation over a seemingly minor matter.

-  may be especially attentive to theirrelative status in dominance-submission relationships and may displayexcessive deference to an authority they respect and excessiveresistance to authority that they do not respect.

- Individuals with this disorderusually express affection in a highly controlled or stilted fashionand may be very uncomfortable in the presence of others who areemotionally expressive. Their everyday relationships have a formaland serious quality, and they may be stiff in situations in whichothers would smile and be happy. They carefully hold themselves backuntil they are sure that whatever they say will be perfect.

✓ Is preoccupied with details, rules,lists, order, organization and schedules

✓ Shows perfectionism which caninterfere with task completion

✓ Is excessively devoted to work andproductivity to the exclusion of leisure activities and friendships

✓ Is overconscientious, scrupulous,and inflexible about matters of morality, ethics, or values

✓ Is unable to discard worn-out orworthless objects even when they have no sentimental value

✓ Is reluctant to delegate tasks orto work with others unless they submit to exactly his or her way ofdoing things

✓ Adopts a miserly spending styletoward both self and others; money is viewed as something to behoarded for future catastrophes

✓ Shows significant rigidity andstubbornnessIs there really anything I need to explain aboutthis? All of these fit Jumin like a glove tailored for him. There arereally only two things that I need to clarify something on. For onewe don’t know how Jumin acts about discarding things he has nological need for, but I feel from the way he treats the pen hisfather gives him, that said point fits. Despite not needing a goldendiamond pen and probably having a million more that work just thesame he starts an entire search party to get it back, probably out ofsentimental reasons but also because he can’t discard such things. Asfor the miserly spending style, something most people would disagreewith, Jumin doesn’t waste money. He lives in luxury and he does likespending his money, but he doesn’t waste it. The things he buys orpays a lot of money for are practical for the better part; like anutritionist and gym to keep him healthy. With the money he earns hecould live a lot more extravagant than he already does, but he’s notwasteful and exactly like described values money and hoarding it.Other than that, everything else fits perfectly!

☼Saeyoung/Seven = Major Depression ☼ 

Honestly guys, does this even need explaining? He’s flunking hisdepression in everyone’s faces all day, every day and yet no oneseems to care. Despite the fact that he doesn’t have just ordinarydepression but major depression. I’m talking hardcore bullshit hereand rightly so. Let’s break this down once and for all:✓Fatigue or loss of energy almost every day

✓ Feelings of worthlessness or guilt almost every day

✓ Impaired concentration, indecisiveness

✓ Insomnia or hypersomnia almost every day

✓ Markedly diminished interest or pleasure in almost all activitiesnearly every day

✓ Restlessness or feeling slowed down

✓ Recurringthoughts of death or suicide

✓ Significant weight loss or gain

✓ Change in your appetite (not eating enough or overeating)

✓ Low self-esteem

✓ Feelingof hopelessFor a while I was torn between Saeyoung being justdepressed or having manic depression aka bipolar disorder. I decidedto depression, mainly because his ‘episodes’ of euphoria are mostlyfake and don’t really happen in proper cycles. Then again, we onlyget to know them for eleven days and usually those cycles can take upto weeks when not regulated with the proper medication, so who knows.However, it’s a 100% clear that Saeyoung is majorly depressed. Otherthan his eccentric chatting behaviour he barely seems to have energy,even the smallest things can break his concentration, he neversleeps, other than his interest in cars he has no other interest orpleasurable activities left, Saeyoung constantly mentions howworthless he is, how guilty he feels over his brother, how hopelesshe feels of getting out of where he’s got himself stuck and how hewants to die. As for the significant weight loss, he barely eats butwhat he eats is horrible junk. He should weight much much more thanhe does considering his diet, which I put into the same category asweight loss. Therefor Saeyoung shows all the symptoms of a majorlydepressed person. 

☀ Saeran = BorderlinePersonality Disorder ☀

Fora hot minute I thought about Saeran having depression as well, but Ifeel like his mental issues go a little deeper and more complicatedthan 'just’ depression. Upon researching some of the symptoms he hascompared to his twin brother I stumbled over BPD, not to be confusedwith bipolar disorder (happened to me ones). People with BPD usuallyexperience symptoms like:

✓ Frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment

✓A pattern of intense and unstable relationships with family,friends, and loved ones, often swinging from extreme closeness andlove to extreme dislike or anger

✓ Distorted and unstable self-image or sense of self

✓ Impulsive and often dangerous behaviours

✓ Recurring suicidal behaviours or threats or self-harmingbehaviour

✓ Intense and highly changeable moods, with each episode lastingfrom a few hours to a few days

✓ Chronic feelings of emptiness

✓ Inappropriate, intense anger or problems controlling anger

✓ Having stress-related paranoid thoughts

✓ Having severe dissociative symptoms, such as feeling cut off fromoneself, observing oneself from outside the body, or losing touchwith reality

Muchlike with Saeyoung this case of mental illness needs very littleexplaining. The symptoms speak for themselves, as they perfectly fitto Saeran, all of them. Now some might say that he didn’t show thosesymptoms as a child and that is true, although I wouldn’t say thathis BPD was caused onlyby what Rika did to him, although that surely played a big part.There are three main reasons that are considered risk factors:Genetics, Environmental and Social Factors and Brain Factors. Theenvironmental/social factor is quite obviously what Rika did toSaeran. Most notable factors in that category are traumatic lifeevents such as abuse (mother then Rika) and/or abandonment (hisfather then Saeyoung) during childhood. What Rika did to Saeran alsoworks into the brain factors, as her torture probably causedstructural and functional changes in his brain that changed hisbehaviour and way of thinking so drastically. As for the genetics, Iactually wouldn’t be so surprised of the twins’ mother had some sortof mental disorder or even BPD that caused her to lash out on theboys like that and in Saeran’s case pass it on. It might even explainwhy he was sickly as a child while his brother wasn’t. Although thatis purely theoretical, the rest isn’t as much. Poor baby…

📷 Jihyun/V = White KnightSyndrome 📷

Now I honestly have to say that I’m not sure whether White KnightSyndrome falls in the mental illness category or not, but it fit soperfectly to V and there was very little else I could have come upwith, so I’m putting it into the list. Now what exactly is WhiteKnight Syndrome or what are the symptoms:

✓ Fears emotional distance

✓ Is very emotionally vulnerable and sensitive

✓ Has a tendency to idealize the partner

✓ Has an extreme need to be viewed as important or unique

~  Tends to be self-critical or reactively blames, devalues, andmanipulate others

Inrelationships:

✓ Is attracted to a needy partner or a partner with a history oftrauma, loss, abuse, or addiction

✓ Fears being separated from the partner, losing the partner’s loveor approval, or being abandoned by the partner

✓ Engages in controlling behaviour, often under the guise ofhelping

✓ Maintains or restores connection with the partner by beingextremely helpful or good

✗  Responds ambivalently to the partner’s success

✓ Describes a sense of “oneness” with the partner

✓ Fails to recognize the partner’s manipulative behaviours

✓ Is seduced by the sexual or dramatic behaviour of the partner

✓ Evokes strong feelings in the partner in order to avoid his orher own emotional discomfort

✓ Maintains hope for a gratifying relationship by denying thereality of the partner’s issues

I mean…hello V? Other than the point about his response to hispartner being ambivalent everything fits perfectly. That is preciselywhy I find it so irritating when people describe his feelings towardsRika as love. No, V did not love Rika or at least not in a healthyway. He loved her instability and he was obsessed with the idea ofsaving her. So much so that he was willing to manipulate, devaluateand fuck over the rest of his friends. The only reason I used ~ onthat particular point is because while he is self-critical as well,he never reactively blames anyone but himself. Frankly rightly so.Anyone who thinks that V is in any way innocent is wrong. He didn’tstop Rika. Despite knowing of her plans all along he never once didanything to stop her and therefor he is almost as much at fault asRika is. In fact my American law he would be charged with accessoryto a hefty crime amongst other things earning him a couple of yearsin prison, just saying. I’m sure his White Knight Syndrome playedinto why he did what he did, but that doesn’t make him any moreinnocent nor excuses what torture other people were put throughbecause he put Rika first and did nothing to stop her.