#they all hate the bit about the witch ALL MY HOMIES HATE THE BIT ABOUT THE WITCH

[jupiterlandings]

Howl would THINK Sophie wrote the book because “it portrays her in a better light” while Sophie, stubbornness & pride radiating off her at atomic levels, INSISTS she would never go to the trouble of sharing such a ridiculous man with her OWN world, let alone his. Neither of them knows that, after years of being Howl’s Emotional Safe Deposit Box, Calcifer really has come to favor Sophie (though not enough to stretch the truth about *her* flaws). Howl and Sophie are also both too preoccupied to note that the only inaccuracy of the book is Calcifer himself who, while described as a fierce and impressive demon, really does more resemble the bug eyed little gremlin from the movie who makes up for the occasional lack of spark with more than a healthy dose of sarcasm.

Was gonna make a post about Sophie wrote under the pen name DJW since people say the book is her perspective events and the movie was Howl whispering in Miyazaki’s ear after years of mourning the accuracy of his portrayal & semi-jokingly threatening sue his beloved wife for defamation but the only one who would be 100% honest about what happened in that castle is, in fact, Calcifer. In this essay I will-

[travelingtwentysomething]

✨Are you new here?✨

✨🌚)))))(✨Hailey on AO3✨)(((((🌝✨

🪩 Let's Be Honest, If You Could Hop Dimensions, You'd Save Eddie Munson Too (AO3 // REBLOG // My Art: Eddie in Disguise/Comparison) - A Steddie+Original NonBinary Time/Dimension Traveler Character Fix-It Comedy/Adventure

🌚 Devotion Tastes So Sweet On Your Lips (AO3 // REBLOG) - A Spooky Steddie Horror One-Shot (Maybe Series...) Steve Prays To The Old Gods And Eddie The Banished Answers

🕸️ A Sticky Situation (AO3 // REBLOG) - A Harringroveson x Spideypoolverine Crossover Comedy One-Shot +Inspo Post for A Sticky Situation

—+++—Some Bonus Tumblr Only Ficlets—+++—

+Steve Throws Eddie His Yellow Sweater, Eddie Throws Steve His Vest. It's a Whole Thing (It's Canon. Gone a bit Viral, this one🤘) (Further Evidence: Steve Puts on The Vest and Eddie Checks Out His Ass, Also Canon. + Bonus Canon: Every Time Eddie Puts On His Steve Smile)

+Eddie Realizes Steve Is More Than A Babysitter (w/ Inspo Post Steve Slays Demo-Bats, Eddie Reacts, this one has Gotten Popular, but I mainly attribute that to Steve's Titties 🤘)

+Stephanus Concubinus, Emperor Geta's Vita (a Steddie x Gladiator II au blurb inspired by kingsandsaints ' gorgeous painting of Joe Keery wearing laurels and a white sheet🕊️)

+Rockstar!Eddie, Meets Server Duo Stobin, is an Asshole and Gets His Just De'Soup- Later Eddie Comes Back to Apologize and Gets Steve's Number- Then, A Misunderstanding and a Proposal (An Add-On Ficlet started by two very talented writers sabbathbloddysabbeth and estrellami-1🤘)

+Rockstar!Eddie in a Case of Mistaken Identity Gets Dragged to Dustin's 21st "Rockstar Hotel After Party" Themed Birthday by an Oblivious Steve +Bonus Robin Has Something To Say About That (An Add-On Ficlet inspired by Whathehonestfuk's post🤘)

+Rogueddie Famous!Steddie, Eddie Reads Tumblr RPF of Steve, Steve Gives a Rec (Rogueddie Wrote A Blurb, I Wrote A Blurb, an Add-On Ficlet)

+S4 Cut Scene: Steve Pines For Eddie, Dustin is Excited For Two Dad's, or Whatever, He's Not Picky (Eddie Witnesses This Interaction From Afar, Wonders Fondly, an Add-On Ficlet)

+Steve is afraid to scare Eddie away by treating him 'like a girl,' Eddie is frustrated, thinking Steve just can't bring himself to cuddle him because he's a guy. (Until Eddie opens Steve's closet and a mountain of dead and drying bouquets and boxes fall all around him. An Add-On Ficlet) +The Add On Where They Go From Idiots to Lovers

+Steddie!Little Mermaid AU Blurb-let (It started with a whisper- *Steve Herrington* and ended when Prince Eddie kissed he- er, uh, no wait- that's actually Henry the Sea Witch with Prince Steve's stolen voice... Violence and Magic and A Happily Ever After, Oh My!)

+Eddie Doesn't Give A Fuck About Sleep Paralysis Demon Steve (a bit personal, turned into a Steddie prompt)

+Eddie, Post Apocalypse, Joins The Military Supernatural Special Forces, Until He Receives a Call from an Old Friend in Hawkins (a Steddie Prompt Blurb)

����A Tale in Gifs🍿

—++++—Stories Told in a Montage of Gifs—++++—

+Steve Definitely Doesn't Have A Type: A Steddie Tale in Gifs (+Because I Can't Leave Well Enough Alone, Emotional Damage) (Learned how to make gifs for this post lol took me hours give it some love, my first sort of popular post🤘)

+Steve: All My Homies Love Boobs And Hate The Government / Robin Looks At Eddie: *Gay Silence* / Steve: Right?! (Robin Looks At Eddie: *Cringes* / Steve: *Bi Panic Sets In*)

+Eddie Munson the Lunchtime Menace... He Does All His Best Menacing at Tables: A Tale in Gifs (A Montage of Eddie Being Menacingly Innocent 😇👀)

+Steve: If He Fuck Me Good I'll Take His Ass To Red Lobster / Steddie Version / Metal Sandwich Version (🍨⛵🦞)

+The First Time Little Eddie Munson With The Buzzed Hair Gets Called A F*reak, He Is Too Stunned To Speak (Literally, just a sentence ✨with gifs✨ but now I need 100k words, on my desk by Monday morning. Prompto.)

✨everything else you need to know under the cut✨

🪩My Original Posts🪩

#op

+My Singular Piece of Art (Eddie in Disguise/Comparison)

+Jack Whitehall Incorrect Quote/Shipping Gays is the Glue That Holds Fandom Together🤘

+Harry Styles Raps to Girls Just Wanna Have Fun Video (if you've never seen this, you're not fully realizing your potential)

+Joe Quinn is Dating Doja Cat? (It only took me a couple minutes to make this gif, skill issue defeated)

+Someone Asked Me "Favorite word?" And I Am A Comedian, So I Said- (you won't regret clicking on this one, here's your first clue that I am hilarious.)

+My Theory on Why Hollywood (And Men™) Thinks All Women Over 30 Are Witches (added to this already hilarious post about the Disney Movie Freaky Friday, your second clue that I am actually the funniest person you don't even know)

🪩Gems You Missed🪩

+ I just realized I caught the GHOST in my haunted house on video 🫥👀💀

+A Break-up Cake Commissioned By Me From The WM Bakery: Mario Kart - "Welcome Back To The Streets" (If We Are Friends, This Is The Kind Of Moves You Can Expect From Me)

+15 Minute Roast Beef and Potato Soup (I make up easy recipes sometimes, ask me about my rotisserie chicken enchiladas with cilantro lime sour cream sauce)

+My Halloween Tree and Blockbuster Wall (About 4,000 DVDs lit up by my Halloween Tree, it's a Spooky Vibe, ask me for a Movie Rec... When I die I'm fixin to haunt the Criterion Closet👻)

+🍯My Dog Honey Watches Scooby Doo / Honey Cuddles Then and Now / Honey Plays Then and Now 🍬 / Honey's Pug-pies: Scooby, Momo, Pickle, and Ponyo / Honey Helped Make Better Pugs 😂

+My 2010 1D Tumblr Origin Story (🤣The true story of how I ended up on Tumblr)

+My Ridiculous Laptop Sticker Collection (feat. Some Steddie Stickers from Raynecreates)

+I'm Allergic to Cats, But I Would Get A Blue Russian to Name Them Comrade, Nickname: Commie (Big Brain Name Game™, Give me some credit and reblog this post🐈‍⬛)

+My Epitaph (My Personal Philosophy, It's A Banger™)

+My High Thoughts About Pyramids (Higher Thoughts💭)

+My Review of the Movie A Real Pain with Jesse Eisenberg and Kieran Culkin (An Ode to Real Pain, My Stream of Sleep Deprived Consciousness Sounds Like Beat Poetry🥲)

👇Check the #Tags below to narrow down the fun👇

(I go a lil ham with the tags, trying to be thorough, so I'm a safe blog if you utilize tag blocking, search my blog for any of your own interests, you'll most likely strike gold 😂 give it a try if you're curious, or scroll on down and click on a tag, if it's not clickable use that tag in the search bar to search my blog)

I RECOMMEND:

#op - posts that I created or I contributed a significant comment to

#trauma dump and #dream journal - the drama, the tea, the weird dreams that are so ridiculous I had to tell someone, even if it is just shouting it into the void to hear the echo, basically over sharing

#personal - if you're trying to see more than just fandom- really get to know me 🥹 also #is it me, #tism, #tis me

#interest - anything that is of interest to me, stuff like #therapy, #linguistics, #anthropology, #sociology, #psychology, #archeology, #movies, #film theory, #politics, #house hunting, #location scouting basically anything that interests me outside pretty people and shows

#my recipes - I occasionally make up something easy peasy, you like cooking quick churched-up struggle meals?

#thoughts - my own comments/thoughts or posts that made me think, try #high thoughts, #higher thoughts

#comedy - anything that made me #lol

#writing - my own fics and posts I actually contributed commentary to or a lil blurb, or writing inspo and prompts I am interested in, as well as writing resources, tips, etc. #fic prompt

#steddie - probably my most common tag I love them but there's a plethora of tags #steddie art, #steddie fic, #steddie comic

#pretty - it's the boys and the girls and the #aesthetic stuff too

#boys - any of the pretty boys I like to reblog

#femme fatale - pretty girls, alternately #laissez faire

#smile - if you wanna smile, I heard they're contagious and this tag has some beautiful smiles 😁 and a few things guaranteed to bring joy

#spooky - It's #spooky season baby and #halloween is in my veins. We got #spooky art, #house hunting, #halloween decorations, and best of all #spooky steddie

🤌Like this post and I will definitely follow you (*except minors soz)👀

✨REBLOG✨ and we will be ✨MUTUALS✨

[autisticempathydaemon]

Hello hello! I would love a matchup!

What song are you fixated on at the moment? What lyric or verse, and why? - Playing with Bad Luck by Set it Off ... Its a kinda day/ its a kinda week/ Its a kinda year/ When you cut and paste/ When you're on your knees/ When you're out of tears (damn)/ examine every scar. i'm auditing my karma/ something just ain't adding up/ it's close, but no cigar/ i'm dancing in the dark cause/ every light keeps shutting off/ i'm playing with bad luck

What is your Enneagram type? - I'm an 8w7! also an ISFJ personality type

Tell me about your childhood imaginary friend.- I created a lot of stories and characters as a kid, most of them were knights or huge creatures

What is your go-to way to fall asleep? - I usually have a cup of tea and sit with my dog. On nights where I can't get my brain to shut up I'll play audiobooks/redacted sleep aid lol

What is your favorite of Redacted’s audios, and why? - Okay but something about the comfort/ reverse comfort audios hit a place in my heart I didn't think was in me. Like, I get why I like the healing audio cause the listener is getting doted on, and that's cute. (No matter how many times I listen to Gavin's comfort audios I will sob every time) But when I listen to a reverse comfort, it makes me love a character even more. Like the fact that they trust their listener (i.e., David breaking down, Gavin giving bits and pieces of his past to freelancer/ breaking down in the inversion, Milo injured, etc), makes my heart swell.

What Redacted boy holds no appeal to you, and why? Like, not the one you hate but the one who you don’t get the hype for. (I won’t judge, I promise.) - Okay, the character is made for the audience to not really like them, but Marcus (Project Meridian) sets a wave of anger in me I could never begin to explain like the manipulation tactics and gaslighting make me want to murder someone, BUT SOMEHOW IM LIKE "Oh I like Vega" which don't get me wrong also hate Vega at times but the way he acts with warden makes me love him

Tell me about that one book/movie/TV show you know all the words to. - does Redacted count "just gotta say ding dong the witch is dead fucking goes off and you better promise to play that at my funeral ALSO unrelated macho man unironically fucking goes off AND YOU KNOW WHAT actually IT IS related because you absolutely need to promise to play that at my funeral too back to back Macho man immediately followed by ding dong the witch is dead what do you say?" .... don't ask BUT IF NOT I also know pirates of the caribbean, the Grinch (live action), Mitchells vs the machines, Monty Python and the holy grail, too name a few

Which Redacted boy are you platonically attracted to? Like- forget dating, which dude do you want to be your best friend? - OH MY GOD CAN VINCENT BE MY BESTIE (obvi also love ash and guy but let me explain) Okay vincent is one of those guys who's sarcasm is top notch like homie could roast anyone without a second to waste. Also I feel like I could literally sit in silence with Vincent and it not feel awkward yknow

Do you have a go-to thing you ramble about when you’re tired, and if so, what is it? (For example, my boyfriend knows I’m ready to sleep when I start talking about space.) okay, I will ramble about history like there is no tomorrow. for example, did you know that Constantine the Great considered himself such a great Christian that he called himself the "13th Apostle" on his tomb (which very few people have been able to see because you have to be closely enough related to him to enter) he didn't write his name on his coffin instead it says 13th apostle also he put the remains of the other apostles in his tomb because "he deserved it" ......anywayssss

Tell me your go-to gas station and drink combo. - flaming hot Cheetos and a sprite reset my life in a way that makes me want to achieve my dreams

Tell me about your favorite playlist at the moment. - The Balance, its so beautifully made, starting with a close experience to death, to cult antics, to AN UNEXPECTED CROSSOVER. its just made sooooooooooooo well

What’s your guilty pleasure in media, and why? - Okay cringy middle school emo/ animatic music from my past is engrained into my brain

And whatever else you think tells me about who you are! - i'm 5'2 and the youngest of a big family. I'm an artist and currently working on an illustration degree. I love love love voice acting. Thats about it! THANKS

You gave me so much to work with here, and yet it was a challenge. Like, I could have gone in so many directions. I think you could work so well with so many of the boys, but ultimately, it had to be Asher.

Your submission gives me the vibe of someone who’s loyal, unique, and confident, who knows what they’re about and always has something interesting to say even if you’re not particularly extroverted. I like the idea of pairing Asher with you because he would perfectly uplift you, pulling you out of your shell and giving you the stage to shine while also knowing when to take the reins and support you, in your education, social situations, whenever.

Your life would be so genuinely fun together- not just because Asher’s so fun as a dude but because y’all have so much in common. You two would have the same taste in music (that FOB fan boy) and pop culture. You’d be the tea drinker to his Monster Energy vibes, the perfect balance in the house to feed his bubbly nature but also ground him. Also, Asher should totally have a dog he can play with, so it’s even more perfect.

Song:

If you don't swim, you'll drown/ But don't move, honey/ You look so perfect standing there/ In my American Apparel underwear/ And I know now, that I'm so down/ Your lipstick stain is a work of arts I got your name tattooed in an arrow heart/ And I know now, that I'm so down

5SOS seems like just the sort of group y’all and Asher would like now, the group that was pop-punk adjacent and has evolved with its audience. This track in particular is a classic, and I can see Asher totally jamming out to this in the car, air-guitaring at red lights, and demanding applause from you when he’s done (which you’d give because he’s just that cute).

Runner-Ups:

Like I said, there were so many boys that could have been matched with you, so there were also too many options for runner-ups! I settled on Anton because he’d be so cute with a tea-drinking dog lover. He deserves a puppy and a partner who makes them a pot to share. I also like you with Guy because an artist and writer couple is just too cute to pass up.

note: thank you for waiting 🖤

Read this post and send me an ask if you’d like a match-up of your own! 💌

[sarahnotjmaas]

Here it is, my chaotic note taking as I experienced Queen of Shadows 4.5/5⭐️

I do not trust Arobynn. Why does this woman keep working with this man.

Who is with Chaol?? SHE!?!?

I heard the fandom is full of Chaol haters and tbh I don’t get it. I’m only on the 5th book but not seeing it yet

Chaol is kinda dumb haha and super sensitive and 5 books in has yet to prove he can fight like at all. He killed Cain but it was a single strike and that was like his first kill. Ever.

SJM wouldn’t write another tragic love story right!? Cuz Chaol is in need of character building and Nesryn and him are already giving me Dorian and Sorscha vibes.

Listen in SJM books endgame relationships are slow burbs. They have chemistry to quickly

HE PAWNED THE RING???

Kaltain has a collar too!!

Dorian battling for his life with that demon 😭

Aelin, we’re officially calling her Aelin now, is wasting her time with Arobynn she is capable without he’s gonna double cross her I know it

Her showing up to the shadow markets was dope!

When is Manon gonna for something cool. She has an awesome dragon puppy Abraxos and she’s doing nothing. Low key I love Asterin and she clearly has her back so demoting her was a bitch move

This book has more action, I like it

Sneaking into the party as a dancer, nice.

The smoke, very Harry Potter! I could see this scene so vividly in my head

Chaol is being a jerk a little bit. He acts like the whole rebellion isn’t for Aelin. When you start holding your own then you can talk, Mr. I’ve only ever killed one person, otherwise stop bossing Aelin around……

Oh shit Elide is a witch. So she’s in with the witches meaning when she links back up with her childhood homies Aedion and Aelin they will be a steaming pile of shit in the kings bed! Hell yea

When does Rowan come back 😭oh okay

27 chapters lol

I read pine and snow and my heart fluttered

No she made a bath for him with all her fancy soaps!!! BECAUSE SHE YELLED AT SAM FOR USING THEM!!!!!!

Gavriel is Aedion’s father!?!???

Oh no poor Aedion, the blood oath was sworn to him but also…. Why can’t she have both she’s the queen she can make her own rules

THE NIGHTGOWN!!!!! She better get a fucking good night gown i stg!!

My boy Chaol is BITTER! Damn he fucked up in the second book and is gonna be bitter the rest of the series. He’s giving big soft boy energy. #NiceGuysFinishLast lol but I low key still want the best for him. He’s loyal to Dorian at the end of the day. Period. However if he’s trying to free Dorian doesn’t he think giving him full access to his powers might help him beat that demon in his body… just saying

Rowan’s and Aelin are literally dating

Going to Sam’s grave. Having Rowan go with her😭 I’m welling up it’s too much. I fucking hate Arobynn and it better be the sweetest death cuz I hate him so much

So I’m definitely not a fan of the witch maternity prison ward that’s happening. Everything about that is uncomfy and I need it to end immediately. Asterin seems to be the only sane one.

Rowan wearing the almost oil, power move!

No, not the room where she saw Sam’s mangled body😭HE PUT THE RING ON HER FINGER!!! Is she faking it??I knew it lol wait but why did he say don’t touch me like that 😭well good for Lysandra I guess

This book is an emotional rollercoaster

There is something SO sus about her Manons grandma. She bowed to the king!?!?!? What’s in the trailer?? What did Manon see??????

Hold up!!! The King is just another victim!?!? No fucking way!!!! That’s a twist I didn’t expect

ALL THOSE CENTURIES, I WAS JUST LOOKING FOR YOU fuck me up Rowan 😭

Slamming the door on Aedion’s face was a little rude but his timing is awful. Wait Lysandra and Aedion???? Love that, that’s fierce pair

Still not a Chaol hater and the trio of friendship between Aelin, Dorian and Chaol is so sweet. Is Chaol ever gonna find a woman he lives as much as Dorian lol CHAOL IS PARALYZED!?!? He broke his promise to Nesry cuz he can’t walk! I’m screaming “Let’s have an adventure,Nesryn Faliq” okay cute but am I alone in thinking Chaol needs someone meeker?? Like someone softer because I think nesryn is too much woman for him…….kinda (don’t come for me)

I never know what part of an SJM book will make me cry but making Lysandra a lady and having Evangeline be her heir got me actually tearing up!

Manon and Dorian. MANON AND DORIAN!!!!!!

Crying again cuz Rowan smells like Terrasen!

[mansionofmuses]

Alright fuck it I figured it's time to put my nuts in the ring when it comes to writing up rwde reviews about shiddy writing.

I already made a post about how closure doesn't exist in rwby, so that SHOULD trim this a bit. Hopefully.

These last two of seasons of rwby have been ASS and idk even know where to start. So lemme do some character progressions instead of jumping all over the place. Let's start with my fav: Neo. And I'll be as unbiased as possible.

Starting from v6, she came back and teamed up with Cinder. Cool? Cool. Fair enough. V7 onwards she's been treated like a BITCH by Cinder and has visibly shown her disdain for that on screen. And yet she still chooses to hang with her? Why? Like... Genuinely why? Is Neo not like the stealth queen? And the driver of a thousand vehicles? Why does she even need Cinder? Could she not have just jacked an airship herself, flown to Atlas after getting the info from Cinder, and began her hunt there? Instead she's just some minion to her now? Okay fine so let's say their team up makes sense in some odd world. Why the fuck would Neo agree to go to Cinder in the Satan Whale? Why? Why the fuck is she there? After being denied multiple times to get to Ruby and even being treated like shit with visible disdain, she should have absolutely left with a middle finger to Cinder. But nope. We get to see her be visibly uncomfortable in this cult and clearly wants out. Which she does, so good shit. She snatches the lamp and heads out. Fair enough, I guess? I don't know why the fuck she trusts Cinder to go back to her after being treated like shit. After Cinder's doodoo attitude towards her, Neo should be like "wow maybe she's lying to me about roman lemme check with this genie bitch" but no. And don't say "oh well she can't talk so jinn wouldn't be able to answer her." Fuck that. 1. I should hope that the password wouldn't be so ableist against mute people. 2. Neo's resourceful as hell. Text to speech and boom. There ya go. Instead she goes back to Cinder like a lost puppy after being shown multiple times how much she hates her. Why the fuck does she need Cinder to get to Ruby? I have no fucking idea! And then everyone's favorite scene. I know I know she killed Blake's hip atta-- I mean character devel-- I mean Yang. That scene. Was doodoo. And I'll get into more intricacies about it much later. But for now, why the hell was Neo so sloppy in that assassination? Like gurl you revealed yourself so early from, apparently so far away? Pretend to be a passerby with everything disguised (I saw that lamp) impale her and boom. Done. Not sure why she went for a slash either when a thrusting weapons like that would be best for a quicker impale. It would have made any on screen death so much more confirmed instead of up in the air bullshit.

Next we have Ironwood. Oh James. How far you've fallen. I don't really understand what the hell they're doing with this character any more. Like... At all. I fully expect him to turn into the joker and join salem at this point lmfao. At first he was complex, but cool, right? Ok a stern leader who still wants to help people and see team rwby in beacon grow and be successful. Fair enough. Then came v4 and he was like "hey yang. Heard about the arm. Here ya go homie." That was pretty cool to give to a young veteran. Fair enough. But good god once v7 hit, everything just went haywire. He started making the dumbest decisions. Kind of. I understand how he's like "aite let's sack mantle to ensure atlas lives cause otherwise both parties will be dead." except idk why he didn't just make a plan to evacuate everyone to mantle first but whatever. I mean team rwby did it like... In a day? Shouldn't have been hard. Then he started losing his fucking mind. There was an entire thing about trust issues and plans (ngl I didn't care enough to pay much attention) and he ends up wanting to arrest the kids more than actually stopping Salem. Like homie. Why. You have a gang of strong ass hunters on your side, don't just throw that away. They could say "acab fuck the police anarchy reigns" and you should still keep them just to fight literal satan on your doorstep. But he fucking drops everything and resources and materials on arresting them. Like why???? And then he just shoots a child just because? And he goes around full fascist mode and his character is just gone at that point. He literally actively wants to kill the people of Mantle now instead of stopping Salem and I don't fucking get it. He could literally plot with salem about how to nuke mantle and I'd be like "shoulda seen it coming". And then when he gets outta jail he kills Jacques... Just cause? Like why? I understand Jacques let Salem's forces in and eventually led to this shit show, but like... Atlas was falling. Just leave. I don't understand. But I guess it's to show how hateful he is towards those who oppose him, so whatever. Idk I'm so done with him. This man is just so boring I just can't wait for him to get killed off so we can be done with him. I'm sure I missed a fuckload of intricacies about Ironwood but I really don't care at all about this schmuck.

Next on the shitlist is the entirety of team rwby. Just to compact it all into one. Ruby has been getting on my nerves SO much. She is so holier than thou and always right. If she had just openly talked with Ironwood about all these secrets and shit, none of this would be happening. Yeah there would be panic, but homie what's the alternative? Fight in secrecy against the police and Salem?

"hey Ruby I noticed that lamp you keep hanging around. What is that?"

"oh uhhhh definitely not a grimm magnet HAHAHAHAH"

Like no shit everyone's gonna be pissed when you lie to them and keep these secrets. Also these plans are dogshit. "We gotta get a message out." To who??? The rest of the world is gonna see some lil kid be like "hey Ironwood's gone crazy and some evil witch bitch is here tryna kill us all." Like who are they gonna believe? A random girl or the fact that ironwood is the head of the largest military state in the world? For all they know it's just some prank and it's totally unbelievable.

Team RWBY sippin team for v8 and doing nothing all volume? Nice. "But they needed to protect Nora." You mean to tell me Ruby, May, Blake, and Weiss all had to be there to protect someone. The Grimm attacked once and that was it. You guys have no medical history. At all. All you did was wrap her up and drink tea during the volume where there's a literal war happening outside. You don't just "wait for help" you ARE THE HELP you're hunters you fucks! Go out and get shit done. Have like one person stay behind just in case shit goes wrong. Preferably Weiss so she can have those meaningful conversations with her family members she never fucking had. But whatever. Ruby and Yang get into... A fight? That lasts for five seconds when they leave and then when they see each other again it just doesn't matter so I'm not sure why the fuck it was brought up at all. It had no impact whatsoever. And there's a ton more I'm sure I'm just burning out at this point. But let's just talk about the big shit. Yang's death. Everyone's saying she'll come back because plot armor but I'm in the "I genuinely think she's dead" group. She turned to Dust as she fell. I mean who knows maybe Deus Ex machina rears it's convenient head. I hate hate hate how that scene was done. That was such an unbelievable death. Weiss, Ruby, and even Blake all have ways of catching her. Easily. Weiss has like fifty ways of catching someone between summons and semblance. Ruby can teleport around the world. And Blake can just shadow clone jutsu her way there but WHATEVER. I guess everyone was too busy being nerfed and sucking ass. Again. And the reactions? Dog shit. Even when she sacrifices herself for Ruby, it's still all about the bees. It's so genuinely annoying. Ruby just whispers her sisters name and that's pretty much it aside from a >:( face here and there. Weiss doesn't even grieve she just comforts Blake who's losing her shit. And I don't know why Weiss doesn't grieve cause SHE WAS HER HOMIE TOO LIKE C'MON RT LET'S SEE SOME UGLY SOBBING DAMN so now everyone's gone feral (except Weiss who just doesn't give a shit about Yang apparently.) And despite Blake saying "yo let's not kill people aite Yang?" She's gonna say fuck that and have it out for Neo and Cinder out of revenge. Alright I guess. That's fair honestly. Challenging ones own morals based on emotions. Good enough. But god I just wished we could see more from Ruby and Weiss during that. Also I'm so sick of the "oh this character fell are they dead are they not?" Thing that rt keeps doing. Just have Neo impale her and go. Easy as that. On screen confirmation. I'm sure team RWBY has a fuckload more to crit but I'm done with this topic.

Winter. Bootlicking to the extreme that she casts aside her own sister and doesn't care if her friends die. Nice. No closure at all after she turns back to being a good guy I guess. I'm done with her. Not a whole lot to say.

The aceops are just so dumb. I'm done with them. Everytime they talk about genocide for the good of atlas I'm just rolling my eyes. Just say you're fascists and move on. And idk why the fuck harriet is gonna bomb an empty mantle. Atlas is already falling on it, you literally have no reason to do this. And this plot point is stupid as hell. Next.

Cinder. I'm not sure why they decided to randomly drop her background story into the mix. Like I don't think anyone gives a shit after all the crap she's done. I'm so sick of rt trying to make her some "uwu woe is me" woobie after doing so much shit and killing so many people. Her uwu crying moments are just stupid. Honestly watts is one of my fav characters just for telling her how crappy she is. Next

Hazel. Homie is dumb as hell. He hates Ozpin because his sister died in a mission. Fair enough. Why the fuck would you ever join Grimm Hitler when Grimm are what killed her in the first place??? Like??? Just hate him on your own time dude, jesus. And he is consistently hypocritical and it's so stupidly funny how bad this character is.

"HOW MANY MORE CHILDREN WILL YOU HURT OZPIN" as he beats the piss outta Nora, Ren, RWBY, Oscar, and probably some random five year old on the street while shouting OZPIIIIN to the skies. It also didn't take a whole lot to convince him how stupid he was thank god. His character was so cool in design and in theory but good god he got executed soooo fucking poorly. Kinda glad he's dead just so we don't have to deal with his stupidity. Next.

Emerald. This bitch. I can't. I LOVE how easily rwby just forgave her. It was so stupidly funny. "oh but yang was ready to fight her at first and snatched her weapons" yeah for five fucking minutes. Then came the part where she helped stabilize Penny and gave a half assed speech about switching sides. Meanwhile everyone's just magically forgiving of her like OH THAT EMERALD AHAHAH like she didn't help orchestrate the fall of Beacon, the death of many, including Penny, and all the terrible shit that's gone down. No resentment from RWBY except for my favorite line delivered this volume. It was Weiss's ever so beautiful "SHUT UP" LOL (I play Smite and I love how her VVGQ Quiet voice line sounds the same. So when I heard this line, I thought of Smite and immediately laughed. Kudos to you Weiss.)

Salem. The hound attacked Penny in the mansion... Why? You already established connection with Watts in jail. Did he not tell her "ay she cool with us." And in turn did she not tell him "ay she cool with us don't hit her"? I guess not? Cause the hound and penny shoulda bounced together the second they met up lmao. Other than that, salem's done nothing this volume except try to be scary and get her ass beat by hazel. She could easily just go out in the field with her grimm and blasts some people or SOMETHING GOD so far our main villain is just so boring and unimposing that literally every other villain, including her subordinates, feel more like threats than her.

Now I'll just talk about scenes.

The scene with ambrosius was COATED IN CONVENIENCE. Apparently Ozpin didn't tell the gang about the WinMore button they could just fucking walk to until now because??? Idk. I LOVE how team rwby just assumed that penny would be okay when they took her robot parts out. Realistically she should just be a floating husk of aura and nothingness. Like she never had organs. I don't understand how she's a real person now? Which, by the way, I'm pretty fucking insulted about how they handled that. Why make Penny human? She was already a real girl and accepted by her loved ones. Like shit, she was a character that a LOT of transgirls, myself included, could relate to on a personal level and we LOVED how Ruby handled it in v2. It was cute! It was sweet! She said she was a real girl back then and it made all of our collective kokoros go doki doki. Fun stuff!

But now? It feels like none of that was validated until she got an actual human body. Like damn I wish I could just get my ideal body within seconds. Shit. I've seen and heard a lot of upset from my fellow tgirls about how doodoo that scene was, because it's implying penny wasn't a real girl until after she got her human body and that's probably how most of the rwby fandom is gonna see it too. "oh wow penny's a real girl now!" And just forget Ruby's cute speech in v2. So annoying. Minor nitpick, if she's got the aura of a black man inside of her (her father), and her robot body is gone, why the fuck isn't she black? Like? Idk minor nitpick I guess. But anyways back to ambrosius scene. I love how rwby had the answers for everything within the hours worth of planning they were given by Ironwood's motive. Totes believable. And yet the "one way ticket to vacuo" thing was the simplest shit they could have avoided lmfao. Like THAT is what you trip up on? Not the portals you're trying to make or the assumption that penny lives without her robot parts? Insane. (side note: how did oscar have a flashback to that scene if he wasn't even there?)

And now everyone's favorite scene. Yangs death. Already covered it early I just wanted to add more on. This scene is insane. Like... If they actually go through with killing her (i don't see how she could have survived turning into dust) then roosterteeth is dumber than I gave them credit for. Like... They have to realize the shitstorm they're gonna receive right? First they kill off clover, an lgbt+ coded character. Next is Yang? A main character who is WIDELY loved by all. Apart of their most pandered ship in existence: bees. (Both the ship and the character make them so much money in merch btw so this was stupid from an objective standpoint.) You can't just kill a main character that is heavily lgbt+ coded in THE most popular ship in the show. Like... How dumb can they be? They're gonna lose so many fans at the very least. Sales? Down. Death threats? Way up. It would be astonishing if they weren't up to their necks in shit in backlash by that decision. Bury Your Gays trope strikes again folks. But this time with everyone's favorite! Like I just... Idk that decision was stupid and that scene hardly was given any real pomp or circumstance it deserved. She's a major title character and that scene lasted like a minute lmao. It's gonna be RWBY without the Y. RWB. As in rt is a bunch of rubes for making that decision. A cynical part of me thinks they did that just because they want an excuse to off Neo, another really loved character. (Well if everyone hates her now we can kill her off cause god knows we don't know what to do with her), but I'm not gonna make this about her. I honestly don't know how to feel about this death tbh. On one hand it's shitty and *points to essay above*. On another it lets Blake be her own character for once. We get to see who she is on our own. And we can finally shift gears from The Bees Show featuring Some Plot to RWBY without the Y. But again that scene was done horribly with doodoo writing already explained up above. They're gonna use this as some edgy excuse to have the heroes start killing again or grieve or whatever bullshit shock value.

(now that I think of it tho, Neo shoulda killed yang in v2. How the fuck did Raven know she was finna die again. Lmao)

Anyways, that's my two cents. I'm sure there's so much more I forgot. Love or hate my ramble idc these are just my thoughts. I'm sure I made doodoo arguments at some points so feel free to call me an idiot and point them out. Imma bounce. My fingers fucking hurt lmfao

[phoebehalliwell]

Yo that anon with the Bianca/Dency 👌🏻👌🏻 but like ohhh Dency coupd totally meet a cute Phoenix in her universe tho!! 👀 Or maybe a dark Witchlighter? Idk I think her falling I love with a more “neutral” witch hybrid would be cute!

And like do you think her little agency would work with neutral magical sources like phoenixes to find people? Because like Dency could be like a Penn but for the opposite side? If that makes sense?? Like Penn is bringing all the “light” witches together but Dency is really the figures head for the “dark/neutral” witches like the witch hybrids and the phoenixes…like Dency is kinda like the unintentional beacon of light for that side…just by being herself? Like maybe she doesn’t actively campaign for more acceptance for hybrid witches but her mere existence alone and the good she does is enough to get the ball rolling?

tbh as far as dency love interests go i'm a little bit torn because i have this mortal rashid idk if i've talked bout him before but like. he and dency have a classic rivals to lovers arc going on in college liek they fucking Hated each other blah blah blah she definintely gaslighted him a lil with her powers nothing malicious jsut like. teleportation like ha there's no way she'll beat me 2 the best spot in the library bc i just saw her walking up the steps while i am already inside and then boom he walks over there and she's there how?? the fuck>? teleporation fuck u. the point is thru their quasi spy vs spy antics i think they start to gain a sense of respect for one another than and he goes political journalism did this question even mention love interests idk That's Not The Point rashid does politics while dency's a bit more of a muckraker kinda more on a corporate side fraud and all that so they no longer are competitors and um. like they can finally appreciate the other as they are no longer and opponent as with most dency characters they have hooked up a couple times i shouldn't say that because as far as characters that have been introduced dency has slept with none of them bc they are all her besties u should never sleep w ur besties only ur homies but i think. i've stated this before? for starters dency doesn't do a lot of long term relationships just because you know that level of vulnerabilty and like if u really like someone then it's just leverage thatcan be used agianst u Or if u die then ur gonna break their heart but i think she does casual relationships with literally anyone but witches i. haven't posted the chaapter fuck i'll post it now because i've been sitting on it for so long and like i'm worried i'm gonna back myself in a corner w a it's not a plotline i don't like maybe just a plotpoint but i've like. written half the next chapter anyway. i'm also sitting on about 10k i think not only. 7k? unpublished w&s because it's like ending the narrative is ending i really need it to be coherent Speaking of incoherent. dency. i'm gonna post the chapter. but dency hangs out a lot at p3 which has changed hands piper owns her restaurants the backstory for this is.

paige has a charge back in the late aughts she's in a coven the point is her bestie has some traumatic incident happen to her and she wants revenge and it's something that (imo) totally justifies revenge like a killing her rapist type thing and like. it depends how we're going with charmed morality but i've established before i think (?) it's canon that if a witch takes an innocent's life she becomes a warlock like it's possible for witches to defect and become warlock if they take a life Specifically an innocent's life and even tho like that guy would be a mortal he def doesn't get innocent status because he's fucking evil she's allowed to murder him but i think she would murder someone else in the process and then causes her to lose her witch powers and gain a couple warlock powers and the rest of her coven shuns her for it which could have easily sent her down a dark path but paige's charge her bestie like stood by her thru all that like. like it's shit cosmic rules tbh. maybe. for legal reasons: i am not endorsing murder. please for the love of god don't make me admit to a grand jury i have a tumblr that'll be so cringe bro do not murder anyone. but paige's charge stands by her and idk maybe paige gets her a job at p3 all that the point is when piper sells the club to open her restaurant she sells it to paige's charge and her gf the warlock. so p3 kind of becomes a neutral power for magic no vanquishes allowed and it's one of the few places dark magic has on the surface just to vibe u just have to be able to tolerate being served by a witch like she owns the place so that kind of filters it. idk if this is more rambly than it normally is. i promise i'll go back in later and add periods. maybe. i am also a liar. but the point is i think p3 is one of the few places dency can really be hersefl because herself is half demon!! and at magic school she really is suppoed to feel ashamed of that like she hates it or something wishes it gone and Yes. it does scare her. being the source's heir all that. she's always worried about giving in to dark magic but like. she's a demon!!! there's no changing that there's no fighting that pushing it under the rug like. she can't change it she does want to spend her life hating herself like. it's who she is. fuck. so i think she doesn't date witches but like the regulars at p3 some warlocks the occasional like darklighter. dency has had romantic trysts with.

beck to rashid her mortal homies who she has hooked up with who they've always had this rapport they have this thing. bc rashid's smart okay that's why he's at dency's level (respectfully she gets her brains from her father i love phoebe but she's intuitive not intelligent cole on the other hand passed the bar exam (i think) so like.) rashid knows something's up. the point is they each give the other three questions. three questions you ask that the other has to answer fully honestly cards on the table no half truths nothing just the answer. rashid used one of those to find out dency's a witch, but she made him work for it. nothing vague like what are you strange things happen around you why like she's like ask your question but you better be specific about it and he's like fuck it. whatever. magic. that's my answer i think magic happens with you and no i'm not flirting i'm dead serious is magic like. are you magical? and the answer was yes. and rashid like while he was asking while he was like confident enough to admit that out loud to ask that to her face Did not see that coming. of course. there's a difference between like yes i can cast a couple spells and yes i'm the antichrist so. : )! but i think that's like a rapport thing between rashid and dency like whenever they ask hard hitting questions like "is that one of your three questions?" but idk if he's gonna. if he's gonna be it for her. there's also jack dency's childhood bestie so there's the childhood friends to lovers thing but like. i just don't see jack being in love with dency in that way like they're best friends. but not lovers. (but maybe they are??? idk)

But. third potential love interest is if i weren't goign for those two i was actually thinking.

two options here a cupid who reocgnizes dency as "the demon with the cupid ring? yeah that's gotta be the source's heir". so there's that i like the idea of. yeah. : )

but also. and i came up w this in an ask which i will not evne attempti to find. i'm sorry i can't spell you guys but it;s not happening 2nite beloeveds. but if u'vemade it this far. i do love u w my whole heart. dency. love interests. old ask about a squad a half-grimlock. appeal of being able to see auras see good people. this was originally in the ask. a love interest for billie?? maybe. idk. but just like. for dency someine who's always known htey have this immense dark side like. hmmmmmm okay i just thot of somehting. for lili. whish is phillipa. which is the prandy thirdborn. she's phsycics. however tf u spell that sykick. that's not the point dency who has. the source on her soul. falling with someone who can literally see the good in her. i'm picturing the half grimlock just ot like like a normal albino human. and they run a halfway house for those born of evil. because he or she or they idk>??? maybe neorponounds idk!!> whoever they r they run a halfway house for these kids born from demons warlocks darklighters bc they can see the good in them and that shouldn't. you get so scared gifted with these powers you don't understand they need a place to turn to. and the grimlock grimmy offers that place. def not their name but like. grimmy lmoa. ao. yeah. i think jsut opening i think integating magic schoolesp in a dency timeline what with penn and the elders and their pomp and circumstance i think it'd be a pain in the ass. but at the very least A magic school for kids wihtout light magic like they deserve it. evil shouldn't just be their default option. like they're just kids man they're jsut kids they deserve a shot at not even good man not everyone has to go on to be exceptional cure cancer and save the world just like. a chance to understand themselves not be scared. not be hated, jsut be/ like. do they not deserve that? so if grimmy's not a li for dency at the very least they are homies and they like pull together a magic school for neutral/dark beings.

[suffering-and-happy-about-it]

... Of the Destiny and the Stars (Geralt x reader, Part 5.1)

CHAPTER STATUS: REVISITED AND REVISIONED - While revisioning and going through it, I realized the scenes I'd like to fit in are much longer than anticipated, so I decided to split the part in two.

Description: Geralt of Rivia, also known as the infamous Butcher of Blaviken or the White Wolf, was traveling the Continent along with idiotic, yet humble and kind bard Jaskier, settling in a small town near the free city of Novigrad. That was when Geralt bumped into an old friend of his - and realized that all the wrongdoings he had committed in the past would eventually return to him.

Summary: The only thing everyone on the Continent wholeheartedly agreed on was that... Destiny was a bitch. You knew it, Geralt knew it and even Yennefer was aware. And even through realizing all of this, Geralt was willing to take the risk of defying it, as well as the horrible consequences coming to him, just so you'd stay by his side. While discovering and deepening your bond, you have a few interesting discoveries about yourself.

Warnings:

➡ Our homie queen Calanthé is making a guest appearance along with her beloved husband Eist. Triss, Philippa, Radovid, and Foltest are name-dropped and Djistra and his handsome face are here. Radovid's character is inspired by the games, however; it's not Jaskier's love interest from the show, but the insane kind of Redania (the timeline's fucked anyway lmao). ➡ Mentions of in-world politics, famine, death, mature themes, and dying children (due to pneumonia). ➡ Mentions of sexual acts and practices, mature language. ➡ A lot of fluff for our favorite grumpy old man (hate to break it to you, but Geralt is like... 80 years old). 🩵 ➡ Jaskier and the reader hit it off, in a sense, a subtle reference to the relationship between Geralt and Jaskier (wink, wink, we stan a bi-con). ➡ We are also having a little bisexual and poly situation rocking up - so if you're not into this, just don't read this. ➡ I'll be alluding to a lighter form of philophobia, aka the fear of love.

A/N: Jaskier's song is 100% Sriracha by Bbno$ and no one is changing my mind on that.

Announcement regarding the timeline:

This isn't your regular story chapter - it's more of a collection of events and memories that unravel through the years. It would be wiser to split it up so it would make sense, but then, I wouldn't have enough content to create interesting story chapters. I pushed through and created two chapters (30-40K words in total) that cover this time period. Sadly, I don't even know when the part takes place because everything is so difficult to map out with the show completely altering the canon. I mean, the books already made it difficult but now, it's fucking impossible, and since the story is a combination of both the book events and show events, as well as a combination of all the characters' traits from both, I just said 'fuck it' and balled. It's sometime before Nilfgaardians attack the kingdom of Sodden and Cintra and Cirilla are still under Calanthé's protection, but Geralt and Yennefer have already fallen in love and she also already left him behind in 'The Shard of Ice'. I'd say it's a bit before the shenanigans in Cintra go down - pinpointing it in the horizon of Cirilla's age, it should be happening when she's around 5 - 11 years of age?

I'm so confused, man, Lauren singlehandedly short-circuited and fried my fucking brain.

Word count: 16K

Tagging: @soleil-dor​, @axk111​, @nemesisplayboy​, @american-duchess

Master list: H E R E | The Witcher playlist: H E R E

The witch's house in the middle of nowhere - the lonely fairytale-like log cabin smelling of mint, honey, and jasmine occupied by a lonely, nice 'witch', according to the folk. She wasn't remotely close to being one, but who was to argue? The door to her modest home was kept three inches open under any circumstance. Didn't really matter who wandered inside, the witch always made sure to give them the utmost warm welcome. Sometimes, wandering travelers, bards, or adventurers knocked on the ajar door, asking for a place to stay, a glass of wine, and a warm dish in exchange for a few stories or items unattainable on the outskirts of Novigrad. Other times, the good folk of nearby villages asked for her advice and medical attention. Once in a blue moon, even one of the most infamous bards known under the name Jaskier stood on her doorstep. The one she was expecting, however, made sure to always come back.

He dear wasn't no ordinary man, oh no. It was a man surrounded by mythical tales and rumors. He'd been known under many names throughout his existence - The White Wolf, Butcher of Blaviken, Gwynbleidd, or the White One.

For you and with you, he was simply Geralt. He had stumbled upon your cabin many times, searching for it in times of loneliness and need. After a bit, you couldn't even call these instances coincidences anymore. It wasn't the Stars bringing you together, it wasn't Destiny threading his path and leading his steps... Geralt was coming back on his own accord, based on his own decisions. Each time you'd hear the familiar gait grazing the dirt road leading to your doorstep, you'd put everything down just to peek out of the window to ensure you're not making things up. Each time you'd see the white-haired man, your body would become uncontrollable as your brain blanked and heart fluttered and before you knew it, you took off to run to Geralt with the brightest smile decorating your face. The moment he'd return the smile (not even attempting to contain the contagious joy and happiness you provided), you'd ensure to erase it with a kiss, taking his belongings off his hands and tugging him inside the cabin the fastest you could. Geralt would never oppose your actions, he'd never object because he was longing for the same emotion you were. Your enthusiasm often tended to ease his own mood, mainly when he stopped after dealing with Dijsktra or goofing up a contract. Your giggling was heavenly to his ears, the sound of your laughter didn't once fail to fill his chest with serenity and warmth. The more Geralt made you laugh, the better he felt.

At the start of your affair, you found it difficult to keep your hands to yourselves - usually, neither of you remained clothed for too long. Only when you sat in your bed intertwined, body and skin pressed against each other as you whispered sweet nothings and stole hasty kisses, was the moment Geralt truly came home. It wasn't so much about the sex itself (not that either of you could complain about the quality of it) - it was the vulnerability and closeness this simple act provided. That did it for the Witcher. In those moments, Geralt not only felt human, happy, and enamored, he finally felt... Home. In those moments, Geralt didn't have to use his words or actions to let you look under the wraps and guess how he felt, there were no social cues he'd have to honor or dull and tedious social dances he'd have to be a part of. It was as simple as holding you in his arms, listening to your fluttering heart, and feeling the gentle tremor on your fingers. You'd giggle breathlessly before kidding him, letting all his thoughts disappear.

No matter how selfish the situation was, Geralt was unwilling to deprive himself of these moments. This led the duo to prolong his stay in Novigrad for longer than anticipated. Jaskier surely wouldn't be caught complaining about staying in the city (as he said - beer, breasts, and banquets) and because it was painfully obvious why are they staying for so long, the bard didn't even have to pry why is Geralt (of all people) willing to stay in the city even though he passionately hated people and their problems concentrated in one place. If Jaskier would have to describe Geralt's stance on big cities, he'd simply say Geralt's one of those who ~is aligned to be one with nature~ and all that other crap.

The first time Geralt would come back to your cabin was a week after everything went down - a few weeks ago, you'd reconnected after 20 long years, spent a whole night saving a striga, he'd apologized for his behavior way back in Cintra and fucked you senseless right after. On his way to your cabin that night, Geralt got worried - what if it'd be awkward? What if the two of you would have trouble starting a conversation? What if... The anxiety disappeared when Geralt saw you doing your laundry in the booking right beside your cabin - dressed in a simple outfit, you were doing your best to carefully wash some linen shirts. When satisfied with the result, you immediately hang the wet clothes over your humble garden filled with herbs and homegrown vegetables. It took Geralt a moment to gather his shit back together and to continue on his way, prompting Roach to ride into your field of vision - taking a moment to watch you performing simple daily chores and mundane activities made it so easy to imagine how things could be.

The two of you would probably grow up alongside one another, brought up in the same village, never leaving outside the boundaries of your region or exploring the Continent. Your universes would be incredibly smaller and emptier, but also much easier to navigate and orient in. He'd fall in love you desperately and court you until your father would agree with your marriage. To ensure you'd be happy, Geralt would find himself a stable, good job - lumberjacking seemed to allure Geralt the most. You'd have the freedom to do as you'd please; you could be a seemstress or a herbalist, anything you'd seem fit. He wouldn't mind. If anything, it would make him sure in his shoes, having a smart and independent woman by his side. The two of you wouldn't be rich, but you wouldn't be in need either; you'd have just enough to live a fulfilling life. In his dreams, you'd lead a simple life away from the big cities, but settle down in one's vicinity - it would be convenient for commuting to the city to buy supplies and food. That way, Geralt wouldn't have to deal with solving people's problems while reaping the benefits cities brought.

Each time Geralt would come home from the woods, he'd most likely come to this view - you'd be doing the laundry, cleaning the house, organizing your herbs, talk to your friend who'd come over for a visit or taking care of your humble livestock. For some reason, Geralt liked to imagine you'd be fond of owning a goat or perhaps a few hens. After taking care of the essentials, you'd sit in front of the fireplace, resting after a long laborious day. Watching you knit for a bit, his ankle would bump to yours, smoothing its way up your calf as you'd send him one of those lusty, sensual smiles. Over time, it wouldn't be only you waiting for him back home - in one of his recent dreams, there were downright three little, restless devils. First and oldest, there was a girl; her facial features were identical to yours, but her face was framed with locks of brown hair, which she'd get after him. This alone would surely make her the prettiest girl in the village, so the two of you would have to fend off endless courting attempts until the right time and person comes. The other two kids in his dreams were boys, too rowdy to be held in one place, a bit mischievous yet surely growing out to be good men overall. Your home would be filled with everything that comes with building a family - there would be laughter, tears, screaming, long lectures about important life lessons, loving embraces, goodnight kisses, torn clothes, and bumped knees.This is how things could be... If you weren't what you've turned out to be.

Starting with your high age (even though the infused chaos slowed your aging down considerably), to your consistent volatility and a considerable amount of promiscuity (even taking into account Geralt's 'It's complicated with Yenna'), ending with the shared factor of infertility, this simple life was unachievable. Those dreams were never to be fulfilled, but beautiful nonetheless. Watching you doing the chores, however, was making it a bit more believable if Geralt had to be honest. He was sure that in due time, he'd let you take a look at the dreams - after being by your side for only a week, however, Geralt concluded it wouldn't be the wisest to spill the beans. The anxiety of being sent away or the meeting being awkward left him as soon as you stood up, furrowing in the distance to determine who the newcomer was. The moment you waved at him, Geralt knew everything would be alright. The two of you would figure things out together.

After the first night he'd returned, Geralt started seeking your presence every two to three days, staying in your cabin for as long as he could. As expected, this whole treasure-seeking endeavor turned out to be rather pricey - the cost was bumped mainly by their place of stay being none other than Rosemary and Thyme. Since you were the main reason for Geralt hanging around for as long as he had, you announced that you'd pay for their expenses. This caused a series of debates and arguments, to be honest. The men accepted your sponsorship very reluctantly. Jaskier wasn't making too much fuss around it - the bard enjoyed being maintained, kept in luxury like the cream of society he envisioned himself to be, not complaining about anything. Geralt was the one to stir up the waves, actually. It took you endless evenings of sex, arguments, bargaining, and negotiations to make Geralt believe you were, indeed, loaded. A full-on two-month stay at the most expansive inn in the city? You were fully capable of spending the same amount on a shopping spree, it just was change for you. All the money you saved in the bank of Novigrad was past courtesy of Emhyr Var Emreis himself - he paid you a ridiculous sum of Orens for your position, enough to feed a village for a lifetime. In the end, you remained victorious. Geralt accepted the money, sighing and giving you the look.

By the time the summer rolled around, the two had to move on. Dealing with the lifestyle of living in Novigrad was taking a considerable toll on Geralt's mental - not only did he have to deal with Jaskier's constant yapping and romantic endeavors (as well as with their often messy results), but the folk of Novigrad was also starting to get volatile too. On top of that, Dijkstra caught onto Geralt's track and attempted to contact him with the promise of cooperation. Yes. As if. He explained that the contract that kept them around had been solved, and Novigrad didn't have more monsters to be caught. No contracts posted, no nightmares to be silenced, no job propositions for the Witcher - Geralt ran out of excuses to remain in your vicinity.

When mentioning the contract, Geralt also explained that per usual, the contract turned out to be a fluke - the pair of adventurers left the city with much less gold than originally promised because the gold indeed turned out to be courtesy of the Leprechauns. This meant that as soon as the bandits died, the hordes of gold disappeared. That's the life of a Witcher for you, Geralt laughed while explaining. As per usual, Julian hoped to end up loaded at the end of their adventure just to get a load of bullshit in return. Well, at least the two had all the fun and the memories to hold on to, right? ... Right? No gold to be had, the payment was much less than promised and both the bard and the Witcher were treated as clowns. The fun and the memories, Julian mumbled on repeat, the fun and the memories.

The day of their departure fell on the morning after Saint John's Eve. Surely, more nights were to await you, but it will take a long time before Geralt finds his way back to you after he leaves Novigrad the following morning. You both understood what his departure meant - there was no reason to dwell on the topic. It could be weeks, months, or years until he'll kiss you again, until you ghost over his cheek with trembling fingers, whispering sweet nothings in the Elder. Notably, this Saint John's Eve was one of the quietest nights you've ever spent in each other's presence. Every word and look had an underlying weight that neither of you wanted to take into account, each action and talk was enhanced with the prospect of a separation that can take any sort of time frame. The emotions felt more intense as if they would burn a hole in your chest if you'd faced them head-on. Therefore, everything was subdued and kept to a minimum, as if nothing was going to happen early in the morning. Geralt wouldn't leave on Roach's back and you wouldn't be commuting to Novigrad to meet Dijkstra in his bathhouse.

Realizing the incoming separation, Geralt made sure he was holding you in his arms no matter what. It was impractical as you tried to put something to eat together, but his clinginess made you laugh. Whenever he couldn't put his arms around you, he made sure he was hovering behind you, ghosting over each move you made. His nose would tangle in your hair so he could breathe in your scent, kissing his favorite spot on the nape of your neck whenever he had the opportunity. When the night finally came, both of you stood in front of the window and watched the dusk settling in. The woods were quiet and the waves of the lake were crashing into the shore, nicely lining up with crickets buzzing. Geralt's brain was sure to memorize everything as you stood in an opened window, letting the humid air caress both your bodies. A storm was coming.

Since you've just got out of bed (because you were adamant about his being the best view of the year), you were only lazily covered in a linen bedsheet. Geralt didn't even bother with putting on any clothes. Neither of you said a word as you watched the view slowly changing - the sun slowly setting down, the sky starting to glow with orange and pink, fireflies flying around in clusters, local folk throwing a celebration in the nearby village. Props to you, Geralt hadn't seen prettier scenery in a long time. "Come back to bed with me." - He whispered, his voice breaking with each word. It was a plea from a lover to a lover, the first sign of incoming departure. Geralt hummed as he kissed the sweet spot on your neck, feeling how soft and warm your skin was. - "Please." "I'll be there in a moment." - You promised, smoothing his arm loosely thrown around your shoulder. - "This is my favorite night of the year. No chance I'd miss my yearly tradition of staring out of the window instead of joining the folk in their celebrations." "I'll miss your warmth in the meantime, darling." - The Witcher hummed, smoothing the curve of your lovely bottom before he left you. All the various pet names still made you look at Geralt funny, leaving an amused grin on your lips. Both of you were having a troublesome time getting accustomed to Geralt using terms of endearment unironically. He likely wouldn't use any pet names by his own initiative, but upon discovering how undone you became in bed after calling you his dove, Geralt started to warm up to the idea. Notably, some pet names didn't land in the slightest, giving you a fit of laughter - he still had a long way to go, but you were getting somewhere.

The morn was bittersweet and saying goodbyes was hard. The chilly morning air was smoothing your body as you stood in the opened door, watching Geralt disappear in the distance on Roach's back. The crickets were still buzzing between the blades of grass, and morning dew was irrigating your small garden. The ground was soaked from yesterday's rainstorm. On that morning, you could feel your heart growing heavy in your chest. As you said, it was all fucking bittersweet. Before Geralt, the pure thought of being in love was unimaginable, horrifying even. While he showed you how beautiful resonating with another human could be, you had to swallow the pill of dealing with loneliness coming along with your lover's departure. You were passionate about your past lovers, and you even took a liking to a few of them back in the past... But letting go of the reigns was making your skin crawl. With Geralt, though, it felt like the right thing to do. So you trusted the process, remaining incredibly anxious about it. You noted asking Jaskier about dealing with being enamored the next time you meet him.

As expected, you wished Geralt the best of luck on his journey, praying to the Stars to see him safely return to your arms before kissing him for the last time. The man dried the tears rolling down your cheeks before drowning them in gentle pecks, begging you not to cry - seeing you miserable would make his heart grow heavy in his chest, ensuring his departure would torture him on his following journey. Trying to make it easier for the both of you, you did your best to take control of your emotions (Geralt was holding his in a tight fist of iron, not letting a sign of weakness seep through into his expression). Gathering your composure, you nodded and gently pushed him over the doorstep in jest. While you had his spare shirt on (Geralt brought you one just so you could wear it in case you'd miss him), your own spare shirt was tucked away, safely hidden in his leather bag like some precious cargo. You gave it to Geralt for the same reason - you knew that Geralt was able to smell your scent long after it was gone for everyone else, reminiscing of you when he'd play with the silky fabric. Just a piece of memorabilia, you thought when you exchanged the pieces of clothing. For Geralt, the shirt meant much more. It was a small reminder of your lonely log cabin hidden away, a reminder of the sense of home you found in each other. It was to serve as an anchor after he'd lost all his reason to Yenna.

Saying you were a damsel in distress during Geralt's absence, however, would be plainly wrong. Sure, being in a new situation, you took a few days to ponder about the right course of action - should you give into the drama, wearing only black until he comes back? Bollocks, you didn't have enough clothes to pull that off. Were you supposed to keep your hands to yourself, not having a lustful thought about anyone else? Yeah, as if - Geralt knew you well enough to not try to tie you down. Just as he'd be with Yenna, you could be with anyone you wished to - he ensured his mind would be with you the entire time, but he couldn't promise what course of action his body would take - he expected nothing less from you. Pushing on with your daily life came on top of your priorities - it eased your mind and let you deal with petty bullshit, ensuring you wouldn't be drowning yourself in tears over the man you loved.

Shortly after deciding not to be dramatic (much to Jaskier's dismay), you decided not to spend more time sitting on your doorstep, despairing for the one you love - quite the opposite, actually. While having the Butcher of Blaviken on your mind all the time, you simply continued on. First, you took Novigrad's gambling scene by storm. Bumping into Jaskier during his visit to Nobigrad one late summer night, he swayed you into enrolling in one of the most high-stakes tournaments in Passiflora (both of you were almost blackout drunk, holding hands and giggling like little kids when signing the enrollment form)... And to your surprise, you managed to win. It were the most satisfactory games of Gwent you've played in a long time, and there also were moments you thought you were fucked, but you kept your head in the game, ensuring a ridiculous sum of Orens to your name. You took some of the money to yourself, just out of politeness, ensuring the rest will fund the modernization of Novigrad's hospital - when comparing the quality of health care in Wyzima and Novigrad, it couldn't differ more. No wonder Temeria had more than three times less healthcare mortality rate, my oh my. The rest of the prize money was given towards buying new equipment for Novigrad's rather humble school and the mimics of 'schools' in nearby villages. It wasn't much, but the knowledge of making at least a bit of a difference warmed your soul.

After you were done with Gwent for a bit (realizing you weren't to find such opponents for some time) and watched Jaskier leave the city in good health, you concentrated on cooperation with Dijsktra and his other ratty friends. As much as you couldn't trust the guy an inch, you found common ground and soon enough, you were considered allies of sorts. The spy invited you to accompany him to various public events as his plus-one and guest of honor, taking you out to royal balls and celebrations to introduce you to the political leaders of neighboring kingdoms. This didn't mean you'd be introduced to the kings specifically - you spent more time with their counselors and counseling witches. To be frank, the counselors tended to be more fun anyway. Nilfgaardian forces were close to being unstoppable, especially with allowing their mages to use all sorts of magic forbidden by the council... But the Northern Realms consisted of vast kingdoms and landmasses - the mass of land was practically impossible to contest on foot and maneuvering and strategizing was therefore very difficult (via army battalions and war machines, that was). Until the moment Cintra, Sodden, and Temeria hadn't fallen in flames, there were still choices to be made and hope of defeating them.

To your luck, King Foltest, while undoubtedly being a sister-fucker (that's what Geralt told you), was also wise enough to listen to both you and the council - you spent a considerable amount of with Triss Merigold, his consoling witch. Queen Calanthé and her husband, Eist Tuirseach of Skellige, were a tougher nut to crack - thanks to Mousesack's (Calanthé's good friend and advisor) calming presence, the four of you were able to come to a pact. You were sure that Calanthé would love to see you dead, just like the bigger half of the council. It was when she started inviting you to her infamous Cintran balls and celebrations, having you seated at her table while complaining about men in general and not having the opportunity of meeting you sooner (because you slipped up and mentioned you were supposed to be part of Pavetta's ball), you decided it was quite the opposite. The two of you found unlikely friendship in one another, exchanging letters and small, meaningless gifts. That's a good sign, Dijkstra assumed after you informed him of your ongoing correspondence, surely, it's strengthening the alliance.

To even more relief, the councils (both the witches and the spies simultaneously) decided that sending you back to Nilfgaard just so you could woo Emhyr Var Emris under your spell would be more or less reasonlessly suicidal, illogical, and extremely time-consuming. Don't take it the wrong way, many of those people hated you. They wanted you dead, but your mind-reading and mind-altering abilities were more valuable than just having you headless on a whim. The council didn't even force you to participate in negotiations with the Black Ones - the risk of Emhyr realizing it was you pulling the strings, revealing the inner workings and power schemes of Nilfgaard to the others was too great. Your consulting was highly appreciated by the Northern Realms but also paid handsomely, so you had nothing to complain about. Even though you didn't admit it, it felt good to be back, meddling with politics. They sure as hell didn't get more fun, but for the first time in a long time, you were a highly regarded member of political scheming and affairs, oftentimes balancing the fragile alliances between various kingdoms on the tips of your fingers (and yes, there were moments when it came to using Axii too). You weren't just that lonely puny priestess living in that cabin in the woods anymore, you had the power to make people's lives better and on top of that, save them. There were instances when the spy syndicate took you for travels around Redania, having you complete odd jobs and negotiations with the mad king Radovid himself. You've been one of the few who came back to Novigrad alive.

Rumor had it that Dijskra himself admitted that you were one of the best strategists and most valuable sources of help they could have, mainly due to your extensive knowledge. Whether Dijkstra said it or not and if he was sober when making the admission was up for debate, but he never complimented you directly.

While being busy with all these politics, there still were nights when missing Geralt got harder than ever. Sometimes, you'd listen to Jaskier talking about their recent meeting - that was when you bumped into the bard in Oxenfurt and as per usual, decided it would be much more fun to spend the night getting hammered in his presence than whatever other shit you were doing. Once, Calanthé brought him up - you've been watching the court dancing, the night was deep and the drinks were plenty when the talk came to the Law of Surprise. The queen was tipping on the line of being blackout drunk by that point, telling you about Pavetta, Duny, and how it all came to be - that was when she dropped the bomb on you. Ensuring no uncalled ears were in the radius, she drunkenly admitted that Geralt claimed Ciri in such a law. Calanté realized the Witcher did it out of the ridiculousness of it all, for shits and giggles as she eloquently he put it - what none of them was expecting, however, was Pavetta being with a child. Rest assured, Calanthé hated Geralt's guts. You had a hard time computing the information before accepting that Geralt is a deadbeat godfather to the poor, little blonde girl running around the table. Other times, it was the small details reminding you of him - smoothing a wolf hide between your fingers, smelling something that reminded you of him, or having a shot of his favorite spirits.

Holding a grudge against Geralt leaving wouldn't make much sense. It wouldn't do you no good either, of which you were aware - it was much better to occupy yourself with all the boring schemes and politics, as you kept on telling Dijkstra. The spy knew even the things he wasn't supposed to, so he asked about your white-haired friend every now and then. Each time Dijsktra said his name, a small jolt of pain spread through your chest - each time, you had to put your best mask on just so Disjtra wouldn't see tears cumulating in your eyes. No matter how much you missed Geralt, you understood Destiny was a tickle power. With each night Geralt spent in your bed, the two of you were just asking to be punished for being defiant; however, nothing in the whole wide Continent could make you feel better.

However, no matter your small acts of rebellion, Destiny swayed the Witcher away from you continuously. Each time, it was different - sometimes, Geralt announced that he'd accepted a contract that would take a few days at most, coming back home to you as soon as he's done... Disappearing for months. Other times, Julian dragged Geralt into deep shit that almost every time incomprehensibly connected to some sort of political mumbo-jumbo. On a few occasions, you had to even pull a few strings just so the two idiots wouldn't get thrown into jail. Explaining to Eist that Jaskier truly didn't mean to call his aunt 'interesting as a withered apple tree' during his and Geralt's field trip to Skellige was one of the most humiliating situations you've got yourself in. Calanthé, on the other hand, almost lost his shit when you told her during the dinner, laughing so gutturally and genuinely she started crying. Mind you, she was almost sober, so it really had to be funny. Lastly, there was her. Yennefer of Vengerberg, Yenna, or simply Yen, had the worst luck when it came to Geralt. He'd always appear suddenly and uninvited, shaking up her world and whatever she had going on. The wish fulfilled by the genie had their fates intertwined, ensuring they wouldn't be able to shake the other off their back or escape the relationship unscathed. As you've discovered, the relationship was rather toxic - hate and love, untamable passion was the prominent trifecta accompanying the two lovers and no matter how much Geralt wanted to come back to you, as soon as he'd seen Yenna, his senses were clouded until the moment they had an argument and... Again. Geralt, no matter how much he'd like to, couldn't avoid these instances just because. Just like the ball of Cintra, it was bound to happen. It wouldn't be wise to defy Destiny much more than you already did.

This didn't mean you could keep yourself from pondering - when the loneliness and separation got through to you, you'd ask the Stars to show you where Geralt was, even if for a moment. Each of these instances cost you a small amount of your blood that had to be spread on your humble altar in the backyard. It was one of the reasons you'd chosen this particular cabin back when searching for a place to settle in. The thing that convinced you was the place of raw power and chaos humming in your backyard. Your palm was covered in scars soon enough. You've been good with covering them and getting them to heal well enough to remain almost invisible (much better than Geralt anyway), but Geralt scolded you each time he noticed a new addition to the collection. No matter the Witcher's whining, you kept performing the ritual just to satiate the need to know Geralt was safe and alive.

On some nights, you'd see him on his toes, potions coursing through his veins, holding a silver sword in his palms, fending off monsters. Those visions made you worried sick from the stomach, uneasy until Roach and Geralt rolled into the road leading to your cabin. Sometimes, the visions got cryptic. A flock of ravens cut your field of vision short, their annoying shrieking filling your ears. Soon, the scent of lilacs and gooseberries filled your nose, and then, for a glimpse, you'd see someone kissing each other just to hush the want and heat in their groins. These visions made you sigh as you sluggishly dragged yourself back to your cabin, opening the strongest bottle of Temerian wine you found lying around. Fucking hell, not that you'd be the jealous type, but Yennefer was leaving a sour taste in your mouth - if he was bound to anyone else but her, you'd reconcile with the fact much easier, surely. The problem was that you knew her, you knew her ways and how she acted, and for that, you hated her to bits. What was worse, Yenna's ways reminded you of yours, and that was making you hate her even more. The visions you loved the most were as clear as the summer sky. No blood or shrieking, no dangerous monsters, and no death - just Geralt sitting on Roach's back, his fingers playing with the silky fabric of your shirt as the inseparable duo (him and Jaskier) pressed on forward. Seeing him reminiscing about you as much as you did of him made you smile, heart fluttering in your chest. The buffoon, the moron, the idiot... You loved him so much.

So much so that no person could match him in your eyes. Rest assured, you tried. As mentioned, Geralt knew you well enough to be naïve and think you wouldn't be fucking anyone else. It was obvious to him that you wouldn't just you wouldn't just sit on your ass all day, saving yourself for him. If anything, it wouldn't be anything like you. Geralt wasn't the one to throw childish tantrums of jealousy either. You both talked about your other lovers frequently, actually, sharing your escapades and mishaps. At first, you seduced both men and women, didn't really matter, in search of that spark that would set you ablaze.

Soon enough, you realized it wasn't worth your time. No matter how handsome, beautiful, witty, or funny the people were, none of them had anything which would satisfy you. The sex was fine, truly - there was little that could go wrong in this regard. What was not fine were all the missing emotions - the endless, almost overwhelming love in their eyes, witty remarks, and inside jokes someone would mutter only after spending a lot of time together. Before him, it was unimaginable you'd get vulnerable enough with someone to let emotions and feeling seep into fucking - now, it was unimaginable to fuck someone without catching feelings first. No matter how horrified you were of love, it intensified everything, heightened every small emotion, and made you feel alive - as if you were asleep until that night. Even though you thought you were in love with someone before (back when you were in Emhyr's services), only now you realized how stupid that assumption was. You weren't stupid either - you knew the people you've slept with couldn't know as much information about you if you weren't giving them the time and space... But the cycle of seduction and one-night stands wasn't doing you any good. Honestly, it all started getting tiresome and boring soon.

Sure, it was pleasant to have some sort of company in your solitude now and then, but as time went by, you became uninterested. If anything, it left you unsatisfied and hollow - searching for something more. When you so desired to imitate having an actual life, you'd preferably swing by Rosemary and Thyme. This inn ensured you'd bump into an acquaintance of yours, someone who knew you and liked spending time with you... These pub tours left you more satisfied than sex itself.

While on the topic of sex, sex with Gearlt was getting better and better each time. It was always great, but as time went by, you started bringing toys and inventions purposed for lovemaking, introducing each other to unfamiliar concepts and ideas. As you built up trust in one another, you'd occasionally let him tie you up - sometimes, the Witcher would eat you out like the most delicious dish drowning in the sight of you fighting against the silky ropes, other times he'd fuck you senseless, letting you hang in the air like an art piece that he admired. Just as Geralt reaped the rewards of your trust, he was trying his best to trust right back. He'd reluctantly let you blindfold him, stripping him off his most important sense just so you could do as you pleased. It was unfamiliar and potentially frightening at first, so much so that you had to slowly coax him into trying it because Jaskier swore it was so much fun during your last drinking diversion. Geralt had to admit these were the most intense orgasms of his life. Besides the ropes and silky blindfolds, there were many more toys you got creative with. When you didn't feel adventurous or decided not to complicate things much, Geralt would let you hypnotize him, stimulating his mind with the sweetest and sultriest scenarios. Usually, you'd suck his dick while projecting the imagery, panting excitedly each time he'd come undone.

It took years before you fully committed to expanding on the fragile fundaments you've built. While not being exclusive, you were finally ready to proclaim your situation as 'being in a relationship' after the infamous Witcher started courting you. Saying the sentence out loud was fantastical in itself, let alone realizing it was actually happening. Since you could afford anything you wanted or needed, Geralt assumed that a materialistic approach to courting you wouldn't bring much success. Instead, the man concentrated on sharing memorable moments with you, making memories, and trying to build at least the illusion of the simple life he'd dreamt of for the two of you.

It started out slowly. One night, Geralt asked if you'd be interested in spending the evening riding your horses - soon, you realized it wasn't just any ride, not like the hundreds of other rides you've gone on before; the folk were celebrating the first of May, the day of love and lovers. It was wonderful to partake in the celebration instead of quietly watching it from afar. That night, you felt like you belonged in the local community for possibly... First time ever. Folk liked you, sure, but never invited you over. This celebration changed it all. Local girls made you a flower crown, gushing over local boys and the latest events as if you were friends forever. Even though you were reluctant in the beginning, the locals asked you to dance with them and drink up, telling you all the hottest rumors and fables going around. The folk even ignored and carefully accepted Geralt's presence, which was almost unheard of. You loved to sit aside and watch him play games with the children - the Witcher even agreed to perform cheap magic tricks for their pleasure, sharing some of his less gruesome stories. The elders weren't overjoyed with having a Witcher (whose eyes glowed in the dark) taking part in such celebrations, but since he was your plus one, they tolerated him.

The courting continued throughout the following year, making you giddy each time Geralt asked you if you 'had some time'. It took a lot of courage for him to finally choke the words out and ask if you'd become his lady. It wasn't a marriage proposal by any means, but it finally made things feel a bit official.

From that point on, his stays in your cabin started to feel... Different. Sure, you still fucked like your life depended on it, but that wasn't all. Suddenly, there was much more to discover and experience, even though you didn't deem it possible. You started to do all the lovey-dovey things you've read about in your romantic novels, just like other couples did. You'd bake and cook together (Geralt loved to bake and he was actually good at it), read books while cuddling under one blanket on rainy days, and bask in the sunlight on warm, sunny ones. If the weather got too hot and unbearable, you'd go for a swim in the lake. In the fall, you'd go forage and hunt in the woods, occasionally spending hours in silence as you sneaked behind the trees or sat on the shore, fishing. When you felt the need for company, you'd ride to Novigrad to either visit the theatre Julian showed you or spend nights in taverns, either indulging in gambling or listening to bards and other performers while sipping on ale. Geralt still wasn't the biggest fan of the latter, but you were teaching him to appreciate art, step by step.

Both of you remained the same as before, which you appreciated endlessly. While you were all lovey-dovey, Geralt wasn't afraid of getting broody and you weren't afraid to call him out on his bullshit. His dry sense of humor remained unchanged and his rants about the evil and moral compasses still made you roll your eyes. You still didn't see eye-to-eye regarding politics or his rather free style of bringing Cirilla up (especially the fucking part when he was being a deadbeat). Sometimes, Geralt would even do or say something so uncalled for that you'd just pick yourself up to leave. This was foreplay, generally leading to a very heated argument. These ended the way they always did - you spat insults at each other (some of which were very creative, Geralt had to admit) until you sat down, fuming for a bit.

"Better?" - He'd ask silently, the corners of his mouth slowly forming a smile. "Much better." - You'd agree, sighing. "Sorry for being a cunt-bitten coward." - Geralt would then say, making you look at him with a small smile. To that day, the Witcher choked when it came to apologies, especially when Geralt had no doubt about being in the right. However, he also discovered the hard way that admitting and owning up being a dick (as you oh so eloquently put it) was a first step when it came to rectifying the spoils of said arguments. "Sorry for being... How did you even call me?" "... Dismal-eyed and anused." "Gotta admit... That's a new one, Geralt... And a good one." "Learned it from the children when passing through the village earlier today. Glad you like it."

Everything remained the same but evolved ever so slightly. Included in this everything was also your relationship with Geralt's best friend in the whole wide world... At least according to the bard himself - knowing Jaskier, Geralt surely had little to no say in this matter. You were talking, of course, about none other than the renowned and infamous bard Julian Alfred Pankratz... Commonly going under the alias Jaskier. Geralt, however, preferred to call him a jester... Or even better, an idiot.

Ever since you've met this chaos walking on legs, you liked him. Jaskier was the polar opposite of Geralt's broody, keep-it-short-and-simple personality - the bard lived for all the drama and mythical, fantastical stories. You were positive that he was breathing for heartbreak, excitement, love, and life in general - he found inspiration in anything around him (mostly in women, though). Theatrics and excessive ballads were right up his alley. With his jolly, talkative nature, however, came a plethora of problems. The biggest one you could think of was his inability to keep his cock in his pants, having at least one man chasing after his throat at any place he showed. Sometimes, Julian could be a bit naïve and even though he was one of the smartest and wisest people you've met (in his own regard), he could suffer with momentary verbosity - saying the most unnecessary shit at the most inappropriate time.

Julian shared his most scandalous escapades with you in person, others and more recent moments usually made it to you in the form of stories - Dijkstra didn't waste a second before sharing them as soon as he heard them. The depth or nature of your relationship towards Jaskier wasn't known to Dijkstra - the spy, however, knew you were both friends of Geralt's. In Djikstra's book, this translated into the two of you surely meeting at least once. Your favorite story covered a ball in Redania. There, Jaskier unknowingly, however continuously, insulted one of the crown princes to Redania's throne simply because the prince said Julian's singing is 'about as delightful as a roast burnt to crisp'. This almost resulted in Julian's head being cut off. If Philippa Eilhart wouldn't have stepped in, he'd surely be dead by now.

You could recall the first night Jaskier searched for you in the time of need - it was during deep winter, one of the harshest ones you've lived through. The sun was nowhere to be seen for weeks, nights coming as soon as early afternoon. The weather was cold, and the blizzards didn't stop coming. The folk required your assistance and herbal hooches and conjunctions almost daily. At the end of December, you've even decided it would be better to set out to nearby villages and knock on each door yourself, instead of risking the folk getting lost or freezing to death. So, you've committed - every other day, you'd set out on the road to see if the folk needed your help and to what extent they needed it. On the worst of nights, you rode from village to village in your territory until morning came. It was the busiest winter in the last decade - the types of illnesses and ailments varied greatly, making you worried about your impressive herb supply... Which was significantly getting smaller every time you opened it. At this rate, you were getting worried about where in the fuck were you gonna get more herbs.

Nightmares and depressions were simple enough to deal with - passionfruit or peppermint teas usually did the trick if used in combination with lemon balm for a good night's rest. When the bad dreams and other demons got too out of hand, you'd offer to use Axii to ease their minds. Colds and flu were giving you a run for your money, but they were easy enough to deal with - pepper or garlic soup and ginger teas brewed with a spoon of wild honey tended to do wonders. If the folk mixed just the right amount, they were back on their feet in no time. Sometimes, you had to deal with frostbite, which was not that hard - to your surprise and horror, you've become something of a midwife during the upcoming month. The snow was blocking the paths and there were not enough druids and certified healers to take care of every case. Not that you'd be requested by the folk for this purpose - you usually had bad fucking timing, coming at the right place at the wrong time. Rest assured, during your fifth labor, you already knew what to do and how things should be progressing - if there was something off, you were enough experienced of a healer to make a concoction to help get the mother on the right track. Pneumonia, however, horrified you deeply. There was no certainty if the infected folk would make it to see the following morn, let alone be cured successfully. You spent night after night mixing peppermint concussions at local taverns, praying to the Stars for saving at least one of them. Some slowly started getting better under your care... But.. The images and memories of watching children passing away with high fevers, their bodies trembling ever so gently, sweaty and pale as snow, their lips dark blue due to asphyxiation were sure to haunt you for the rest of your day.

Even worse than that all the ailments were monsters and wild animals. All these creatures were also becoming desperate for a morsel of food and a place of shelter that would offer at least some degree of warmth and cover. Attacks were becoming more frequent when it came to wolves and wild dogs. Wolves were usually timid and ran way before humans could spot them - if these animals were desperate enough to tear an arm off a man's shoulder, how long would it take for bears and other predators to endanger the folk? Your question, thankfully, wasn't answered. The 'arm incident' was the worst that animal attack got. Monster nests found around the fields and farms were frozen - the creatures who used to inhabit those nests lay around the remnants of their creation lifelessly. Rigor mortis was slowly setting in as ice and snow covered them, hiding the horrifying view out of sight. That was, possibly, the only good thing this winter brought. How would the balance be restored in the spring? You didn't have the energy to ponder such things during those trying times.

The folk didn't exactly blame you for being unsuccessful, mainly because the success rate was 50-50; they were grateful knowing someone was working hard to keep them safe and in good health. Even though the hate wasn't coming and likely wasn't ever going to come, you had trouble living with yourself. Looking at your own reflection was proving to be a tedious, dreadful task. Taking care of yourself wasn't simple, something like a proper sleeping schedule, let alone a drinking and eating schedule was becoming alien to you. You could barely recall the last time you took a proper bath. Anytime you'd arrive home, you'd break down in tears, thinking about what you could do differently - to maybe say one or two more poor souls. Were your mixtures too weak? Were your concoctions brewed wrong? Did you pick out the wrong herbs or add the wrong amount of ingredients? You've done everything you could... But it wasn't enough.

On top of illnesses galore, the overall quality of your life was also slowly going down. The snow drifts blocked paths and roads, complicating the transportation of supplies, exclusive goods, and food from the south. You hadn't seen fruit, such as grape wine or lemons, for a month by that point. Good news? There was enough alcohol in Novigrad to supply you until the spring rolls around. Sure, you realized you had the luxury and affluence to eat potatoes and miserable vegetables bought in the city. You also hung and portioned a deer hunted down, ensuring you'd have enough for at least two weeks. Your horse wasn't overjoyed with sharing his stable with a skinned venison, but you didn't spend time arguing with him. No matter, eating the same dish every night wasn't fulfilling. It was fine and kept you on your feet, but nothing to get too excited about... Thankfully, that was the night the bard came and shook up your entire world.

It happened in the deep of the night. The wind was howling, and your fireplace was filled to the brim with logs just so you could rest safely, assuming you'll have all your fingers by the morn. The ice-cold wind was bumping into the walls of your cabin, seeping through the small cracks. It was also loud. It could've been shortly past midnight when you decided to call it a night, put your book away, and blew the candles out so you could dive into darkness. As you found the right position for sleeping after half an hour of rolling over, someone frantically knocked on the cabin's door. The sense of urgency was unmissable. You reacted immediately, got out of bed, and threw a heavy coat of fur over your shoulders in case you'd have to leave immediately. Thankfully, you were tasked to stay on hand. The wife of one of the local farmers, Martička, was due to go into labor any day now, but the midwife needed to stock up on some herbs and medicine in Novigrad. Naturally, you offered the farmer to seek you out in case of need.

Instead of Janek, however, there was someone you didn't recognize at first. The moment the door opened, his knees gave out. The stranger, seemingly unable to control his freezing body, collapsed into your arms, making you falter to the ground. After kicking the door closed with your foot, you started to inspect the newcomer... Just to realize it was Julian lying in front of you. His eyes were cold, the tip of his nose dark red, his skin turned ashen pale. His cheeks were frozen, his lips dry. "Oh, Melitelé." - You mumbled, smoothing and gently pinching various spots on his face just to get a reaction. When nothing happened, you started to snap your fingers next to his ear, finally making his eyes flutter open. Knowing he was at least alive made you let out a peal of relieved laughter as you leaned your forehead to his chest. - "Thank the Stars, thank to Melitelé, you're alive. You're looking fucking tarnished, dearest bard." "My apologies, m'lady, I'll make sure I look my best the next time you lay your eyes on me." - the bard chuckled dryly, patting your shoulder. As soon as he did that, he started hissing - the pain in his fingers just multiplied. - "I don't know if it's the fever, but you're looking lovelier than the last time we met." - Julian got out with trouble, choking on his cough.

Hearing how Jaskier coughed, you could feel the panic rising in your chest. No. Not this. Not him. Not your drinking buddy. Not a person you were actually attached to. This didn't sound good at all, the sound of his cough was reminiscing of the sick children... The way they choked. You ordered Jaskier to get into bed, starting to heat up a whole cauldron of water so you could use it for preparing warm and other herbal wraps. You had to work quickly. The moment you started taking his clothes off you realized... The clothes didn't match the outside weather at all.

"What in Vesemir's name were you thinking?!" - Now, you were full-on scolding him like a little boy, hanging his summery jacker over the fireplace to warm it up and make all the snow and crystals of ice unfreeze. The clothes Jaskier wore were paper thin, no wonder he looked the way he looked. - "You go out in this fucking weather in this clothing? What were you thinking, you darned artless, beef-witted barnacle?! That you're going for a summer stroll by the lake?!" "Your hands..." - The man whispered weakly, ignoring your screaming altogether, looking at you with his eyes glassy. His cheeks were reddening, his body was starting to burn up. Fever was coming. You had to get on brewing hooch and tea right away. - "They're... Burning hot, Y/N. Do you have a fever?" "You're the one who has a fever." - You answered, chuckling dryly. Yelling at him in this state would be as useful as trying to shut him up. - "Lift your legs for me, come on now, let me take the trousers off." "No." - Jaskier protested, shaking his head as he weakly tried to preserve the last remnants of his dignity. - "If it's supposed to happen, it surely won't happen like this. I've imagined this night many times before and this is certainly not the way it goes down." "You've imagined... Julian Alfred Pankratz." - There was a clear warning in your voice accompanied by a hint of amusement as you started taking his boots off, making sure you were able to cover most of his body with a thick blanket. The way he thought about having sex even on his deathbed, however, was making you laugh. - "I'm not about to fuck you. I'm about to heal you." "Yeah... That makes more sense." - The bard agreed, helping you slip his trousers down so you could hang them over the fireplace too.

"Fancy answering my question now, bard?" - You asked as you sat next to the cauldron, letting Jaskier sprawl all over your bed. He was huddled in thick blankets and various hides and furs; you made sure he didn't have any frostbite before you put a heating pan under his ankles and made him sip on peppermint tea with honey and jasmine mixed in. "What would you like to know?" "Why aren't you reasonably clothed?" "I didn't have much time to pack my bags before he threw me out." - Julian admitted silently. You've turned your head to him, furrowing at him. Who threw him out? Geralt? No, he might've found Julian annoying and yappy but he also loved him dearly - you've heard Geralt admitting it a few times after drinking all night. What happened, then?

"Who threw you out, Julian?" - The tone of your voice was now gentle, it was silent and patient. When was Geralt when Jaskier got his ass in deep trouble? Long gone, obviously. - "Were you attacked? Are there people after you?" "I was..." - The man started answering, yet as soon as you heard the tone of his voice, you realized where was this fucking ordeal heading. "Again? Seriously? Come on, bard!" - You exclaimed, clicking your tongue in disappointment. You were almost about to get mad at Geralt for letting Julian die somewhere in the wilderness. "It's not pleasant to watch a husband struggling to approach his very own wife, trust me. And for the record, I wasn't seducing her - I was nudging him to flirt with her... And he took it the wrong way." - Jaskier explained as if it was as simple as that. "If you hadn't done your damnest to fuck the poor lass, Jaskier, you might as well call me fucking Foltest of Temeria. You need to learn how to keep your cock in your pants, seriously." - By that point, you were handing him roasted potatoes and venison you'd just warmed up on the stove. The hooch was almost finished by that point - it was sure to knock Jaskier out cold.

"Thank you, dearest friend. The dish looks delicious." "Eat up, bard. Hopefully, it will taste as well as it looks. To be honest, there's something on my mind... How did you find my house? You've never been here, we mostly bump into one another in Oxenfurt... Or Novigrad." - You asked, sitting on the bed beside the man, leaning into the wooden wall behind you. Jaskier put the plate down for a bit, chewing on the food absentmindedly - even before Jaskier figured out how to put it, you already knew what he was about to say. "He... He sent me here. He was just leaving the city when I caught up to him, begging for help." - Jaskier explained silently, still chewing on the same mouthful. - "Said you'd understand and that he was sure you'd be willing to help me. Also asked me to pass his best regards." "Oh." - Was all you said, picking yourself up so you could check on the hooch.

So... Geralt was in Novigrad, just a few kilometers away from you. Yet he didn't pull up at your doorstep. There was only one possible explanation - he was with Yenna. Trying to keep your head in the moment, you let out a long exhale. "I'm... Sorry, Y/N." - Jaskier apologized tenderly, an unhappy expression on his face. He knew about your relationship, of course he did. Neither you nor Geralt talked openly about it in front of Jaskier, but it was more than fucking obvious that things were going great between the two of you. It was just earlier that year when Geralt started courting you - now, their paths collided again. She was under his spell as much as he was under hers.

"There's nothing to apologize for, friend, it was all accounted for the moment I voluntarily kissed him. This is the grudge I chose, this is my path to trudge." - You smiled, pouring the hooch into a porcelain mug so you could serve it to Jaskier later. - "I brought it on myself." After he was done with his meal, you were there to hold the mug next to him. - "I'll be by your side for the night, don't worry. This will help. You'll be better by the morn, I promise." - You promised when you noticed that Jaskier was eyeing the liquid with rising suspicion. Nodding, Julian accepted the medicine and drank all of it, not mouthing a word against its strong, herbal, dreadful taste. As Jaskier's lids got heavy, his breathing started to steady itself. The fever was slowly going away, you noted with a smile. It was nothing but flu, thankfully. "For the record, Y/N..." - Julian managed to get out half-asleep, his tongue struggling greatly with those simple words. - "You've always been my favorite... Out... Out of the two of you." "Thanks." - You whispered, smoothing his hair and mindlessly playing with his locks. This act prompted Jaskier to put his head on your thighs, hugging them with his forearm. As he did that, deep slumber finally overtook him, leaving you stuck in this position for the rest of the night. Honestly, you appreciated it - knowing Geralt was so close yet so far away gave you a heartache, especially knowing he won't be making it to you anytime soon. Jaskier was an unexpected company, surely, but not spending the night on your own felt... Nice. Given how much shit was going down lately. For the first time in a long time, someone else gave you the feeling of home and serenity you couldn't find anywhere.

Just like you promised, Jaskier felt much better in the morning. Jaskier was walking around the cabin, stretched his limbs, and checked if he still possessed all of his fingers. You, on the other hand, were bound to be cranky. You were sleeping while sitting, the muscles on your back were tightened and in pain. You were lying down when you woke up only thanks to Jaskier waking up before you, carefully laying you down himself. That said, your mood was abysmal when you opened your eyes. The man was thoughtful enough to make tea and prepared the last piece of bread for breakfast - presumably, Jaskier also found the last bits of blueberry marmalade you've hidden in the far corner of your pantry. Clearly, it wasn't hidden well enough.

"I'll buy you a new jar, my promises, m'lady." - The bard swore, putting down a mug and plate on the edge of the bed, letting you take your time to wake up. - "Don't know what herbs you've put into that hellish concoction, but I'm feeling like a brand new man. Even better, my lute made it out unharmed. All is fine and well." "Glad to hear that." "Anyway, what you've planned for the day, dearest friend?" "Gotta do my routine check-up on the village down south - promised I'd stop by yesterday. Couldn't, because I needed to be ready to assist during labor. Anka, the midwife, should be back around noon today, so I'm free to go today." "That sounds wonderful!" - The man laughed, clapping his hands together. - "Or... You could come help me get my bags back and in return, I'll assist you with... Whatever stuff you herbalists do." "How would you assist me?" "Trust me, I'd find a way." - Jaskier winked at you. Even though you were very inclined to stick your boot up his arse, you sighed and nodded, taking a bite from the bread. You'd rather get done with Julian's shit first, so he wouldn't pester and yap about it later. Melitelé, Julian was fucking lucky that the blueberry marmalade was as good as it was, the sweet goo alone made your mood significantly better.

Later that day, you handled haggling with the disgraced husband in hopes of Jaskier not getting his ass manhandled by the 6'2 man, no matter how hilarious the thought itself was. After ensuring Jaskier had all of his stuff back, the bard did everything he promised in return. First, Jaskier caught your hand and dragged you all the way to the slums of Novigrad, introducing you to an elven bootlegger, who, funnily enough, had a ridiculous sweet tooth. Anytime you'd have a craving for something sweet, it was worth a shot to ask this guy. As promised, you were gifted seven jars of various types of marmalade. Ensuring you'd swing by soon, the elderly elven rascal even gave you an extra jar of marmalade.

Since you've also mentioned running low on herbs sometime during the morning, Jaskier also introduced you to yet another friend of his. This time, it was a sweet elderly lady, whose shop was right next to Passiflora. You've never noticed it, but she had everything you required and promised that if you'd ordered herbs right there and then, they'd be delivered to her later that week. Julian unintentionally rescued you out of a deep shithole. Keeping all of his promises, the chatty bard also accompanied you during check-ups on the folk. You were mentally prepared to apologize for his verbosity and ensured you could cover his mouth fast enough. The prospect of Jasker running his mouth horrified you, but... It wasn't half bad, actually. No matter the ailment, Julian was sure to bring a good mood and peals of laughter into each home. When asked, Jaskier didn't waste a second before telling the children unbelievable whimsical stories or chatting with the adults, helping him to come to other thoughts. There were a few times when people even asked him to sing. Sure, under any different circumstances, he'd be perceived as yappy, annoying, and unbelievably unpleasant - yet during this winter, the folk took every chance to ease their minds and brighten up their mood.

You dozed off during your ride home; your last night's sleep sucked shit, your body hurt and your brain was fucking exhausted, turned into mush. Julian, naturally sitting right behind you, took the reigns out of your palms and assured you were huddled into your furry coat tightly, cuddling you in a more comfortable position before prompting your horse to continue. Since you saved his ass last night, Jasker promised himself he'd take care of everything for the night - first in order, he carefully put you in bed, taking your shoes. Cleaning the fireplace and starting a fire was simple enough, just like feeding your horse, and ensuring the stable was warm enough for the animal. The duo even shared a measly carrot Jaskier found in the pantry before it was time to cook dinner. That was when the trouble started. He wasn't the best cook... Well, he probably wasn't even a good cook to begin with. With enough nerve and confidence, however, he found spices and got to preparing roasted potatoes and some venison. It was your grumbling stomach and the smell of tasty food and warm tea that woke you up later.

As you sat inside your cabin in utter silence later that night, both paying attention to your separate activities, Jaskier asked if you'd like him to stick around for a bit. Jaskier explained it would be beneficial for both of you. He needed to have a place to stay (had to take part in some scholastic nonsense at the university) over the following month and you desperately needed some help. When you woke up the next morning, first, you rode to Novigrad to commission a sleeping hammock for him - you asked if he'd prefer his own bed, but the idea of a hammock was more alluring to the bard.

The two of you were friends for quite some time by that point; he had known you for a long time and seen you at both your best and worst (usually hammered under the table in Rosemary and Thyme, that was). Jaskier would've to be blind not to notice how torn down and exhausted you were. The bard gladly offered to run errands for you and help you with chores around the cabin - he'd gladly travel to Novigrad to get you the herbs you'd need (only if you'd write him a list, that was) or vegetables, wine, pastry, and other good, so you could ease up a bit and have more time to rest. That offer... Sounded fucking heavenly. With a grateful smile and not much thought to it, you accepted. A week turned into two weeks, two turned into three, and before you knew it, March came around the corner, spring following closely. The blizzards stopped. The snow melted as the temperature rose. The morning you spotted the first daffodil poking its bright yellow bloom through the remnants of snow, a wave of relief crashed over your chest. Everything was going to turn around. Everything was going to be alright.

It brought new hope and signaled things were changing ever so slightly. Life was coming back to frozen woods, lakes, rivers, and fields. If you and Jaskier were lucky and very quiet, you could watch hinds and baby deer walking through the surrounding meadows or hear the distant buzzing of bees waking up from slumber. The air smelled sweet, humid, and heavy with pollen. Nature had a lot of work cut out for that spring, so it wasted no time - you've noticed a whole bunch of early bloomers. Farmers wasted no time with planting the upcoming year's harvest. Trade was starting to stabilize in no time. The goods were even a bit cheaper before the economy stabilized once more. It took a bit before the value of crowns went up, so Oren was in a very good position. It didn't take long, but it was nice to buy your morning bread for one fucking Oren. As you've said, everything was going to be okay now.

Sadly, Geralt was nowhere to be seen... But things weren't as bad and dark when you had Julian around. Mainly because the two of you got along very well, you liked to think. It was calming to come home after a long day to find Jaskier attempting his best to cook dinner (the poor soul was doing his best with doing the chores, but he wasn't cut out for it) while bumbling about his newest scholastic finding. The longer his stay, the more new things you found out about him - you've always known Julian was very intelligent... In his own regard. Bards had the memory of a library, remembering every little silly story and fact they learned. That was why Jaskier was able to tell you about every Gwent card you owned. As he was explaining his scholastic discoveries to you, however, you realized Jakier was very fucking intelligent in general. He was just unable to take things seriously and concentrate for one damned day of his life... And also cursed with easily falling in love.

Your friendship worked well, the best it ever had in fact. The man knew how to make you laugh, complimented you on each chance he got, and even did his best not to involve himself with married women during his stay so you wouldn't have to deal with the ruckus these affairs tended to end in. Admittedly, Jaskier failed once or twice during your visits to Rosemary and Thyme and other inns of Novigrad, but overall, it was a great success. You, on the other hand, knew how to handle his moods and insecurities, and didn't scrutinize every little step or decision he made (as others tended to), no matter how senseless and idiotic it might've seemed. Even though you laughed at his actions or choices of words, you never laughed at Julian. That quality of yours was so fucking refreshing for Julian because he felt like he was not taken as the butt of the joke for once.

It wasn't easy to pinpoint what caused it... But... Something started to shift. It was a few days before he was set to leave when you finally took notice. You were both preparing for the following morning in your own regard - you've been reading through a formal request you've received from Triss Merigold and Jaskier was putting together his best outfit, asking you if he's looking presentable enough. He was supposed to be debating over whether his thesis was good enough to be accepted by the scholastic community... Whatever that was about. As he walked around the cabin mumbling to himself, you caught yourself staring at him, unable to look away. His hair was disheveled, too long for your taste, his stubble was getting a bit too stretchy and visible, and he was furrowing at something regarding those damned jackets. "I was asking... What is it?" - Jaskier asked, seemingly repeating the question. Furrowing at him, you shook your head. "What... Is... What, precisely?" "That's what I am asking you... You've been staring at me for the last ten minutes, you haven't moved a bit. Can I help you with anything? Are you perhaps searching for a specific word again?" "I wasn't... Staring. You're being delusional, I think. The jackets got to you." - You mumbled, your face flushing in reaction to his accusation. Not the accusation about being unable to remember a word, you've been over that before... But the accusation. Were you staring? Surely... No, according to the shit-eating grin, you definitely were staring.

You caught yourself staring and daydreaming over more occasions. The alarming part was that you weren't daydreaming about Geralt. You even got these... Impulses and small, selfish thoughts running through your head. For example, you were fucking itching for Jaskier to finally take you by your hand - each time his fingers would brush over yours, you could feel a giddy spark of electricity shooting up your arm. At first, you thought Jaskier wasn't even aware; you never shied away from being touchy-feely... Bumping his hand to yours... No big fucking deal. That was until you noticed he stumbled on his words and had to cough whenever it happened. Sometimes, he'd be yapping away over dinner... Telling you a story that happened earlier or something like that. What were you doing instead of listening? Staring at his lips in hopes you could just... Lean in and kiss him. Whenever nightmares got to you, Jaskier would sit by the bed and sing you the loveliest of tales and lullabies to lull you back to sleep; he'd remain there until being sure that you were truly asleep, nothing frightening you to death. Before, it wasn't hard not to stare at him when he took his clothes off when taking a bath - your eyes never gravitated towards him even though Jaskier's vain attempts at making you look. Now, all you wanted to was stare at him as he let the expansive, fancy shirts slip off his forearm and fall to the ground... It was hard as fuck to control yourself enough to close the door leading to the cabin, letting him get some privacy. You were becoming... Confused, to say the least. No matter the approach, you couldn't grasp the situation.

You've been in love with Geralt - that much was a given. Despite this 'given' in particular, Jaskier was excellent at making you flustered and speechless. For whatever fucking reason, he could make your heart flutter as if it were a bird trying to break free of its cage. The rest... Started slowly coming on its own.

You fought the urge to address the confusion for the longest time, secretly hoping it would all stop if you waited long enough for the situation to fizzle out. At first, you were sure the emotions and love you felt for the bard were strictly platonic, that it was all inside your head. However, as the first signs of Julian possibly developing identical feelings started to show, the whole 'platonic' part was out of the window. But before you mustered enough courage to ask him if it's real and whether he'd be interested in giving it a shot... It was his time to leave Novigrad.

It was utterly gutwrenching to watch him leave after two whole months - he informed you, however, that he'd be back in Novigrad in early summer. You made him promise he'd surely come to visit his favorite priestess in his whole wide world. That was the first time this man smoothed your chin to turn your head a bit, placing a soft, sweet kiss on your cheek. After pulling away, Julian seemingly waited for something (anything) to happen - whatever it was, you just smoothed the palm that held your chin, smiling at him. "The summer can't come fast enough." "Indeed, m'lady... Indeed."

What was the moment you realized you were fucked? As Jaskier waved at you for the last time before disappearing into the woods, the gaping hole inside your chest opened up again - bigger than before. This time around, there wasn't anyone drying your tears, so you allowed yourself to slide down the doorframe in tears. This time, it wasn't just missing him that you had to worry about - how in Bruxa's were you going to explain this? 'Listen, haha, Geralt, the funniest thing had happened - I got this sudden urge to kiss and fuck Jaskier... Also, I've fallen in love with him I think, what's your take on it?' Fucking no. 'So, Jaskier hanged at my place for the last two months, and remember how I always joked he'd never get under my fucking skirt? Yeah, well, about that...' Well, that sounded like the start of a bad anecdote. Funnily enough, you got too caught up in your own head to realize Geralt was one of the very few people who'd understand your situation.

As promised, Jaskier arrived in Novigrad in late June - as soon as he managed to sort out his future concert arrangements, he set out on the long walk to your cabin. Just as you spent the last few months overworking yourself and worrying over what you're gonna go when you slip up (yes - not 'if' you slip up but 'when' you slip up), the bard, surprisingly, spent a lot of time thinking of you. Jaskier wasn't entirely oblivious and noticed some signs of attraction here and there... The depth of the emotions he felt, however, wasn't clear to him at first (mainly thanks to his ability to be enamored by every living, breathing humanoid creature, constantly being interested in anything else other than reminiscing), but he worked towards the realization over time. During his travels in Toussaint, Jaskier often missed the smell of your perfume lingering in the air after you'd leave to deal with those boring fucking politics. He missed helping with the small things - fastening your necklaces or buttoning up the parts on your back you couldn't reach with your hands. He'd look up from his lyrics in search of you, to get your opinion... Realizing you were hundreds of kilometers away.

Well... Fuck, was all Jaskier concluded. On his way to your cabin, he did his best to create an acceptable bouquet of wildflowers to give to you. He hoped it would soften you so you'd listen to the confession he planned for the last two weeks. Jaskier tried scribing his thoughts and emotions into a letter he'd send you, but that didn't feel personal enough. He wished to look you in the eyes when confiding and confessing something so intimate and important. That was how he found himself stumbling through the meadows, mumbling nonsense under his breath. He was probably seeing things that weren't real, signs that were never there and if anything, Jaskier was getting ready to be rejected. However, he was willing to give it a shot, being a fool in love. The excitement of seeing you after months of being apart, the nervousness, all the heightened emotions overtook him... He could feel his stomach tingling, his palms tingling and his breath was short as if he walked a hundred miles.

Until his heart dropped in his chest, his skin turning ashen pale as he watched two particular people dancing and laughing. His two best friends were the two particular people embracing. The two people he was a fool for (except his petty fallout with Geralt back in Caingorn a few months back, but that was a different story). What... What was Jaskier even thinking? Watching as you fell onto the man's chest, laughing while putting your head on his shoulder just so you'd bring him closer... What was he thinking? No matter how many scenarios Jaskier had imagined, Geralt was never present during his love confession. Of course, Jaskier knew about the two of you (had his idea, anyway) but watching it really happen was otherworldly, agonizing in the worst sense. The sight of you two looking so happy caught Jaskier off-guard.

Suddenly, the meadow didn't feel the same. Jaskier got used to watching early spring slowly approaching beside you, and when looking back, he loved every second he was able to spend in the cabin; you'd set out to pick herbs and flowers, sometimes sat beside the window and watched baby deer wobbling around, and even sat by the fucking lake for the entire afternoon and caught fish, lazily basking in the weak March sunlight. A few times, when neither of you had to deal with papers, you'd take him to the brook and walk in it with your ankles bare, laughing at how cold the water was. All those beautiful, peaceful memories turned increasingly grayer the longer Jaskier watched you. The windows of your cabin were wide open, the smell of honey and mint lingering in the air; even though this remained identical, it didn't bring him comfort this time.

Laughing at his stupidity, Jaskier let out a frustrated scream before forcefully throwing the flower on the ground, turning on his heels, and disappearing back into the woods as fast as he could. The screaming caught Geralt's attention - putting his palms on your waist and holding you in place, he stopped to take a peak out of the window, searching for the source of the ruckus.

"Were you expecting someone?" - The Witcher asked, unable to make out who the stranger walking down the road was. "No, I don't think I was..." - You mumbled, joining Geralt in staring into the night. You couldn't see shit, however, so you weren't that much of a help. - "Wait a moment... Did I lose track of time again? Geralt, what time of the month is it? It's late May, right?" "Late June, actually. Think I've been here for far too long, your pretty head is all messed up." - Geralt remarked with a grin, smoothing your lower back. Usually, you'd jokingly tease him about this comment, so your silence was worrying, to say the least. Well, at least he wasn't wrong - Geralt tended to have this effect on you. Every time he appeared on your doorstep, the greater universe around you shrunk into the size of your cabin, making you ignorant of everything that was going on around you. Five years later, he still affected you like this. Realizing Geralt was living with you for the past few weeks, it wasn't hard to believe your perception of time got all messed up. Fuck, you felt like a dud. As you processed the information, colors faded from your face, your lips whispering one singular word.

"Jaskier?" - Geralt repeated with genuine surprise, letting out a huffy chuckle. - "What does Jaskier, of all people, have to do with all of this?" "Before he left to... God knows where, Jaskier told me he'd be back in Novigrad in early summer." - You admitted, trying to calm your anxiety down - your knuckles were running up and down your ribcage, hoping the dull pain would help a bit. Your breathing got heavy the moment you sat on your bed, almost as if you were about to faint. - "Promised he'd stop by. Fuck, how could I forget?" "Oh, have you two met recently? How's he doing? Mingling with the Novigrad's cream, I'd presume." "Don't play stupid with me, Geralt. We both know well that you smelled him as soon as you opened the door. Came the night you sent him out to look for me, that's when. Poor fool stumbled in dressed in summer clothes, almost froze on his way here." - You clarified, stretching out your neck. - "Why are you acting so weird about it anyway, had the two of you argued again?" "Did Jaskier mention anything?" "Now that I think about it, he didn't talk about you at all... Which is fucking weird." "I'll tell you about Caingorn later, Y/N. Let's just say I couldn't stomach him for a bit back then and... Yes. Almost forgot that happened." "No wonder you can't recall, Yenna had you wrapped around her pretty little finger... No offense." "None taken." "Geralt... I think... There's something we need to talk about." - The moment you opened this genie in a bottle, all the amusement and mischief left Geralt's expression. He followed in your steps, sitting on the bed beside you - carefully, Geralt took the palm you had on your ribcage, holding it in his. "Whatever's on your mind, I'm here to listen."

You spent the night clarifying the mess inside your head, detailing everything that happened, all you felt, and all the other conflicting thoughts and emotions. By the end of the monologue, Geralt was lifelessly staring somewhere next to you and you were in tears, assuring Geralt you loved him, as if it wasn't obvious enough already. His expression was unreadable, but at least he wasn't spiteful or enraged. There was a hint of tenderness in his eyes, but that was it. That was something, you guessed. It wasn't the clarity you were searching for and remotely near to the answers you wanted, but still... Something.

"What have you concluded?" - You whispered, staring at Geralt. His palm tightly held your upper thigh, forcefully drawing small circles into your skin, kneading it like dough. It was starting to hurt quite a bit, to be honest. You did your best to dry your tears, waiting for what Geralt had to say. "Well, isn't it quite obvious?" - His voice gave you goosebumps. It came across as lifeless and animated. You didn't know about Geralt's confusion with how you complicated things. You both knew you were in love, always knew you'd search for each other in the deepest ends of hell, and found each other no matter how many bones would Destiny throw at you. As long as you wouldn't be leaving him behind (the only thing Geralt was truly horrified about), there was no problem. Never in his life would he expect to be your only lover, just as you didn't expect to be his. - "Why don't you just cut the pain and tell him?" "Tell Jaskier what?" "That you're in love with him." - Geralt clarified as if his point couldn't be more comprehensible.

Everything from how he looked at you to the tone of his voice was enraging you, making you grit your teeth together and stand up, doing your best not to scream out loud. Why was he so calm? In all the romantic novels, the lovers would argue and clarify everything, promising undying love - instead, Geralt furrowed at you as if he wasn't fully getting your point. Before stopping yourself to try to understand the point Geralt was trying to get across, you were already screaming at him.

"So, this is how it all ends. The great, forbidden romance between the Witcher and the Priestess? Hm? Why did we defy the Destiny and the Stars for so long? Just for the fun of it? Just so you'd forget how Yenna always tosses you aside like an unwanted pup? We both knew that what we were attempting was hard and took a lot of time and patience, but I'm not willing to give up on it if that's what you think. I told you that I'm clueless because I know my heart's beating for you, moron. Every time you leave, I become restless. Sometimes, I get lonely and confused, wishing someone would be by my side. Every time you leave, a part of me leaves with you. I'm doing my best to fight it, but... I'm weak, my love. Jaskier... He... Showed up when I was going through the worst of it, this winter was slowly making me lose my mind. I held dying children in my arms, Geralt. People were starving, wolves tore people's limbs off, I had to take care of fingers that fucking fell off of someone's hand, and I helped newborn babies come into the world. I was burning out, crying myself to sleep every night, and here and there were even moments when I thought about just ending their suffering mys... Doesn't matter. Then, Jaskier appeared. He made everything better, helped me around, kept an eye on me, and distracted me whenever it was too much. I thought it was nothing - we had been friends for a long, nothing ever happened... I mean, you know how he gets, but that was it. And then, when he was leaving... A part of me left with him too. That was the moment I realized."

"Y/N, stop yourself and take a breath. What are you talking about? You don't have to explain or humiliate yourself because you think you've done something wrong." - Geralt reiterated immediately, standing up to match your actions. - "What kind of an end are you anticipating, wench?" "I just admitted that I've fallen in love with someone else, dim-wit. What else could it mean?" - You squealed back at him, crying again. Upon hearing what you've said, Geralt straightened up and chuckled, almost blowing your fuse off again. Just to be sure, he quickly closed the distance between you, smoothing strands of hair off your sweaty forehead, and drying your tears with his thumps before offering you a gentle, sweet kiss.

"Have I told you that you can be the most hot-headed, headstrong woman I know?" - The man whispered, kissing your cheeks ever so lightly to calm you down. "You've mentioned it here and there." - You nodded with your eyes closed, a relieved grin growing on your face. "Listen. If there was anyone who should apologize, it's me. I knew what kind of relationship I dragged you into, but selfish enough not to let you go. While I'm traveling the world, you're here, alone and..."

"Not true, come on. Haven't you heard I'm consoling Eist and Calanthé? Dijkstra is making me busy..." "That's not the point. You deserve a simple, good life with someone who loves you. If... If we weren't what we turned out to be, I'd do everything in my power to court you and make you the happiest woman on the Continent." - Geralt whispered while kissing your forehead, making your heart crack a bit. "But that's not what I am - it's not who you are either. Look at me." - Holding onto his palms, you looked him in the eyes. Now, Geralt looked truly anxious - his lips pressed together, eyebrows knitted, eyes narrowed, his fingers ghosting over your cheeks as if you were to crumble into dust if he truly touched you. There was the reaction you were looking for - now, it worried you to death. - "Do you love me?"

"Of course I do, Geralt. That's a given." "Then... I'm not in the right to judge you for falling in love with someone else. It's my fault I'm not here and it's not your fault you're alone. As long as you're counting on me, I trust you." - With that, the man brought you close to his chest, slipping his palm into your hair and other on the small of your back. - "If that's what you desire, I want to let you have it. Depends on whether he's feeling the same, but knowing Jaskier... Actually, I'm lucky it's him of all people." "What do you mean by that?" "Imagine you'd tell me you've fallen for Dijsktra. Or worse... Foltest." "Oh dear, can you imagine the travels? Yuck." - You laughed, a warm feeling spreading through your chest.

"So, you are really not... Enraged or disappointed?" "If anything, I expected that we'd have this conversation sooner. Enraged? Not in the slightest. Being disappointed is up for debate - you could've fallen for anyone... And from all of the people of Novigrad, you chose this jester." "Come on, he's your best friend, you grumpy bastard. The two of you are so in love it pains me to watch you dancing around the topic instead of addressing it." "I know." - Geralt answered ambiguously, sending you a warm smile. To which part of the sentence the 'I know' belonged was unclear, but you figured it was an answer to all of it. Then, not addressing the admission, Geralt furrowed at you with jitters in his eyes. - "You're still saying that you're sure we're attracted to each other, wench? After all this time?" "The jury's still out... But I'm more or less positive." - There you were; the girl Geralt loved to death. The bright smile, the lusty look in her eyes, the heavenly smell... For a bit, he was worried he might lose you.

"So, you believe me, then?" - You asked, letting go of him so you could pour each of you a glass of wine. Your brain couldn't grasp the topic quite yet, especially since the conversation turned out entirely different than what you'd braced for. "Believe you what, precisely? That that the jury's still out? I know you well enough to believe you never let these things go easily." "Fuck off, you cunt-bitten brood. What I'm asking is if you believe me when I tell you I'm in love with both of you... And him?"

"Fine, let me put it the unpleasant way. For how long am I coming back home to you while still being allured by Yen?" "... A few years now." - You whispered in agreement, finally catching onto his point of view. Truthfully, you never tried looking at the situation from this perspective. The least you expected was for Geralt to either leave the cabin after you confess to him or to ask you not to do it. While going insane over what a horrendous hypocrite you might be, you never stopped yourself for long enough to piece this information together.

"While I know it pains you to hear it, I, of all people, know it's possible to be in love with multiple people at once." - Geralt admitted silently, accepting the glass you offered him. "But why him? That's what confuses me. We both know what an idiotic, restless charmer Jaskier is. I was sure I was making things up, noticing things that weren't real - but he managed to sweep me off my feet." "Can I ask you a personal question?" - Geralt wondered, making you chuckle upon hearing his words. He'd asked you a million personal questions before, why was he now asking for permission. "Of course you can, darling. If you're capable of asking me how I like it when I take your dick so well, why would you stop yourself?"

"Were you in love with anyone before that night? I don't mean fucking, Y/N. I mean feelings you'd describe as truly being in love." Well, you could understand why Geralt asked for permission. You've mentioned your time in Nilfgaard here and there, mainly when Geralt asked how your business with Djikstra and the Nothern Realms was going. You've also indirectly admitted to having a lot of lovers and sex while acting as Emhyr's consort... But he never asked you directly about anything in connection to Nilfgaard or anything you'd been up to during your separation. If there was anything you thought Geralt should know, you simply told him already. To answer his question, you had to think for a bit. There was one person who you were vulnerable around... But the 'L' word never slipped past your lips. As soon as you caught onto what unraveled in your chest, you panicked and cut ties with them. You told a few filthy little lies to see them leave the court, but you ensured he wouldn't hang them. They were just... Discharged.

It wasn't the right time and place - you weren't ready to fall in love back then. Your entire world revolved around war, politics, and ensuring you were one of the most dreaded generals of Emhyr's army and the commander of his private troops. Love and emotions were scary. That's why you never let people under your skin, rather charming everyone than being your genuine self with them. Until these two idiots showed up.

"No. The answer is... No." - You admitted. "And for how long were you seeing the other people? Now and back then?" "Not for too long, honestly. A couple months was the longest 'relationship' I can recall. Now that I think of it, the thought of falling in love and belonging to someone horrified me... Until you happened to me." "We're getting there... How long do you know Jaskier by now?" "Four... Maybe five years? Ever since we've met in the inn." "I think you just answered your question." "What do you mean?" "That's up for you to decipher, my dove." - Geralt sighed, gently kissing your temple before putting the empty glass away. - "I'll come across as a cock with what I'm about to say... But can we go to sleep now? I'm fucking tired and have to leave by dusk tomorrow." "Having a rendezvous at five sounds awfully like Dijsktra. This is what you get from agreeing to go on his little field trips."

[lunermagick-sims4]

Huntress & Hunter Part 4

You ever believe in destiny? Things happen or end when they should. A hunter always believes they are in the right spot at the right time to get the kill.

Blair’s POV

  Blair been studying a lot trying to keep her mind off of Jill. She felt awful she was not there to protect her as she had for her many times. Blair signed. She studied long enough today she is now a neophyte level witch and she proud and she has learned a few new spells. She can now use fire magic. “Mischief making here I come”. She laughed and then stopped because she thought maybe it was to soon to laugh. Blair thought it be a good idea to go outside and get some air. The view of the water always makes her happy. Blair zoomed out and found the place she liked to look out. The water was beautiful as always and the land scape makes it even more gorgeous. She was taking in the view when she noticed trash in the water and on the beach. How could anyone leave garbage in such a beautiful place. Blair decided she would work hard on cleaning the beach up to make it looking nice again. She figured she better start the water first. She saw things floating about out there. It made Blair boil with anger, how could other sims be so careless. Next sim she sees leave one little tiny bit of garbage she cracking a bat over their head. It be a good warning to other. Blair laughed wickedly at her own thought. She changed into her bathing suit and got into the water. There was a few patches of garbage every where and she worked away at it all. Swimming here and swimming there. It seem like a lot for one sim but she finally got it all cleaned up and started back to the beach.

Blair got back to land and she found herself sticking from all that garbage. She figured she better go home and take a bath. She speed home and threw all the trash where it was suppose to be, in a trash can! She goes up stairs and runs water into the bathtub. She liked soaking in the bath more then showers. Whenever she could take a bath she did. Her life was never busy like it use to be when she worked. Now she can take time to herself whenever she likes. She started to remove her clothes to get into the water. She sat in the tub and the water felt refreshing against her skin. She was laying there and Ragnar pop up in her mind. He was sweetie for giving her that rose. He really did save her. She was caught off guard but she will never tell him or anyone that Blair Nightwing was caught off guard. She build a reputation that she is bold and can take care of herself. “My reputation not ruined I just need to chill.” She told herself. She relaxed back into the water and then she got thinking of Ragnar how cute he was and those emerald eyes. Blair started to think about him kissing her and then her imagination went wild and her body reacted to her thoughts as it should. Blair started to have some fun with herself in the tub.  

Ragnar’s POV

  It was late when Ragnar got up, he stayed up late into the morning to make sure the cops did not follow him home. Ragnar got up and was sore from them air lifting him into the helicopter. Ragnar stretched and figured a small jog would help loosen up the stiffness. While he was out for a jog he was starting to get hungry so he found someone out hiking and he took advantage to fill his hunger. After getting some blood he felt much better and started for home to get a quick shower. He wanted to go check out the bar at  Glimmerbrook to see what it is like.  Glimmerbrook was suppose to be where all the witches live and maybe their blood would be nice and tasty. He got cleaned up and started toward Glimmerbrook.

Ragnar got to Glimmerbrook. It was small but was a bit bigger then Forgotten Hollow. He was craving for a ale and he started into the bar.  The bar was not fancy,  but was actually kinda homie and comforting at first glance, it was small and busy tonight. When he got to the bar he notice blue hair girl. When she turned it was Blair. “Well hello again!” Blair caught sight of him. “Hey! Nice to see you again.” Ragnar thought she looked beautiful with her hair down and her outfit was very sexy. “Here I will get us a drink.” He ordered a couple of ale. “I am going to go over there to the chairs in the corner where it may be quiet. Wanna join me?” Blair asked. Ragnar nodded happy she wanted him to join her. Ragnar was feeling tension of lust toward her. She was such a stunning girl and he was trying to control himself not to jump her bones. The two walked over together and sat down in the chairs. They were actually comfy to sit in.

He really starting to like this bar the best. “I think this is one of the best bars I been in.” Blair took a sip of her drink. “It is nice. I only been to Sulani bar, since I been in town.  The sims really hate me.” She giggled. Ragnar smiled at her. “Every where I go no one likes me either by the time I leave.” Blair snickered. “Where are you from, Ragnar?” Ragnar was taking a sip of his drink. The ale here was actually good too. He might be coming here more often. “Brindleton Bay. You?” She looked like she actually had to think of the question. “Well I am originally from the city.” Ragnar nodded. “You look to be a city girl. But your home to you is Sulani isn’t it?” Blair nodded. “Yes! It meant to be my home. It such a beautiful place and where I live is off the beaten path and I just love it.” Ragnar was engaged into what she had to say holding onto ever word. “Same I live near the volcano.” Blair was shocked. “Oh my gosh! We are not far from each other!” She seem to be all excited about it. “What the odds!” He smirked and she smiled at him so sweetly. “Tell me a bit about yourself?” Blair asked. “What  would you like to know.” She shrugged “Whatever your willing to tell.” Ragnar chuckled. “Well going to let it out I have problem killing.” Blair shrugged. “So do I.” Ragnar became even more attracted to her. “My zodiac sign is Scorpio, Chinese sign is a dragon and I am free spirited.  What about you?” She smiled slyly. “I am very loyal, I am a dragon as well and my zodiac sign is Sagittarius so I am pretty adventurous.” Ragnar felt intrigued. “Are you now?” She smiled seductively. “Oh you dirty man.” She teases. “I am not thinking nothing. I promise.” He teased back. He took a few sips of his drink to calm down. He still felt tense and trying to keep control of himself. It been a long time since he been with a women. After thinking about it, he has not felt attracted enough to any woman since he was a teenager. Ragnar could not believe he left these feeling behind for such a long time. She was making him feel things again he has not felt in so long. He never notice he shut his emotions off like this. She was talking along about her familiars she had I think I caught Gidget, Slayer and Hoodoo. Ragnar thought. “Which name goes with what?” He smiled sweetly at her. He wanted her to know he was paying attention to her babies. She felt proud of them. “Gidget is a bunny butterfly, Slayer a raven and Hoodoo a owl.” Ragnar thought that was pretty neat. “Your a hybrid aren’t you?” She nodded. “I knew you were a vampire when you took off the other night but a witch as well is amazing.” She smiled. “Yes it pretty cool. My grandmother was a hybrid both my parents were vampire so I was late starting to learn my magic. My gram died before I was old enough to train.” Ragnar touched her leg to comfort her. “I am sorry. We’re you close?” She nodded. He could tell memories were going through her mind. “Well I’ve got to be getting home.” I certainly enjoyed our time together. I needed this.” They stood up and Ragnar still never finished his drink he was so enjoying chatting with her and getting to know her better. “I enjoyed this to. Glad we ran into each other and we could talk without having to defend ourselves.” Blair smiled. “Right. Let’s do this again soon.” They said goodbye and she left. He felt a bit empty without her there. He finished his drink but started to feel very hungry.

He found a women who looked good and started to drink. He really was not paying attention on how much blood he was taken and he drained her. He shrugged “oh well” he went to turn and he was punched into the gut. Then another and another. Once he finally got so he could get in view who was hitting him it was Grim. “I told you to stop!” Grim yelled. After a few hits Ragnar finally got his composure together to get himself away from Grim.

Ragnar took off in flight and got out of there. He never had been so humiliated in his life!  He just kept flying with no destination in mind. He wanted to strangle Grim. He hates he could not touch him. He never had been shown up like that by anyone! Everything swirled around in his mind, the embarrassment, the humiliation of his pride being tested. When he looked around he started to notice familiar things. He was close to home but it was not his house. Once he noticed the water fall and saw the house, her house.  He landed near the water fall and turned back. He passed back and fourth wondering if he should go in!  Would she think he was stalking her if I go there? Ragnar thought and thought. “I am going there.” He said out loud and started toward Blair’s house. He walked over and came to the gate. He looked at it and he figure it be easier to fly over it, so he did and came to the front door. He took a deep breath and knocked. It felt like forever before the doors open. When the doors open he came face to face with a barrel of a gun. He put his hands up fast. “It me Blair! Don’t shot” she put the gun down. “What the fuck! How’d you get in here?” Ragnar scratched the back of his neck. “Well I flew.” Blair dug her pale brown eyes into him. “I am sorry.” She was ready to blow he could tell. “I could of shot you! How dare you just break in and fly over my fence. You should of buzzed. If I shot you I would of never forgiven myself!” Ragnar thought he get a slap or something. “Get in here!” She still seemed reeved up. “I am sorry.” Blair swirled around “what happened to you?” Ragnar took in the kitchen it was amazing compared to his place. He could see through the door to her garden and the place was amazing. “Mhmm?” Ragnar said. He heard her talk but not what she said. “Your bleeding.” He touched his mouth and there was blood. “Embarrassing thing. I-“ he trailed off. should he lie or tell the truth. Her eye gazed into him. Felt like she could read him. “Truth is.. Grim was mad.” Blair looked confused “Mad why?” Ragnar sighed he felt so unmanly telling her this. “Because I killed again and he punched me a few times.” Blair looked at him and comforted him. He was shocked at first but it felt good to get it off his chest. “It embarrassing and I am so mad.” Blair seem to understand it all. “Grim should of never done that in public. He is a jerk. Ragnar you are strong and you can take on anything. Do not let the Grim Reaper get you down. You hear me.” Ragnar looked at Blair. She was right. Grim is nothing and he was still a hunter. He perked up some and he got a little to brave. He held back long enough all night and he kissed her. If she pulls back right now or rejects him, he probably would lose it but he had to go for it. The build up all night and being here with her now has made it impossible not to try. 

When she started to kiss him back he relaxed and soaked her in. She smelled of lavender and she felt so right to kiss. He pulled back first and she really seem like she did not want to stop. He smiled at her and she smiled back and he kissed her again and again. She made a small moan. He picked her up and she rapped her legs around him. He started for the stairs and she started to kiss his neck by the time he reached the stairs. He slammed her against the wall. She laughed. He started to kiss her neck. She let another moan escape. They made it up the stairs and she pointed to which door and he went towards it. Once they got to the door Blair bite his neck. He moaned. Now they were standing by the bed. They looked at each other and kissed softly and gentle. She pushed him onto the bed and climbed onto him. The clothes started to fly off then in all directions. She was even more beautiful without clothes,  her fair skin was so soft to touch. He melted into her and  let her take control. All the tension he was feeling was fading away more and more. Every moment made him forget the world. All he could think of was her and how she was a cat goddess. 

[holmesianpose]

Homie I need this next chapter I'm dying over here where are the precious sea babies

omg FRIEND! I am sorry! I SO FEEL YOU.

Ugh--I have not managed to do ONE SINGLE WORD of fic writing this entire academic term (basically since I got back from Sweden at the end of March). Hence why I have not posted anything since March! I have been so busy teaching, trying to write this damn dissertation, and organize my life in preparation for being abroad again all of next year. I leave my little fairy/witch cottage in Oregon on July 8th and then I am traveling all summer, and then next year I am living in Sweden (!!!!!) until the spring. So there is a lot to organize. 

Anyways, that is why you have had no OFD and it SUCKS, I know. I hate it. BUT!!!!!!! THE GOOD NEWS! IS! That I am literally about to go post my students’ final grades, which means that I am about to be 100% done with my teaching duties for the term, which MEANS that I will finally have a little bit more time to devote to OFD writing! I have been itching to work on the next chapter all week but I have been mired in piles of final grading. I still have like 38439802953 things to do in the next three weeks before I leave but I DO NOT CARE. OFD CANNOT WAIT ANYMORE. 

I have to go meet with a professor tomorrow and then go to graduation tomorrow afternoon blah blah blah but I think I am just going to spend ALL DAY TUESDAY working on the next chapter. *furious chest heaving*

At LEAST one day this week is going to be a DEDICATED OFD writing day, and I’D LIKE TO SEE SOMEONE TRY AND STOP ME

[jiminie-and-his-pinky-finger]

lemme start by saying-

MAAM YOU JUST IMMEDIATELY jumped into introducing the characters and i had to take a minute to take it all in ;-; why does Indigo sound like such a wild-spirited but kind name? thats what i imagine the girl being like too u-u

and umm... 👉👈 when tae said that he kind of realizded he was in love... i think i was in love too 🥺 this was such innocent love i cant even get over it

okay now it gets to the good part- well not in my freaking out over how much i love this retelling but of HOW YOU JUST MADE ME COMPLETELY HATE THE WITCH/MOTHER GOTHEL woman EVEN MORE- >:( she laid a hand on my homie tae's cheek and she got what she deserved

:( i almost cried when i read the part about indigo being stabbed... (i think) ;-; begone witch, im glad you tumbled out the window-

"I love you too, Tae," she giggled.

I love you both too T-T *nani cried* yall have a nice life togeth- OH MY I ALMOST FORGOT- when she was shy about wearing a dress uwuwuwuwuw gosh i do NOT have enough time to say everything i want to now...

but also i love when i have my emotions are enhanced or maybe even changed a bit because then i know i'm being engaged and ma'am you have done that again with this story T-T i absolutely love it and i will forever

Beyond the Tower Walls

Pairing: Taehyung x OC

Genre: angst, fluff, fantasy

Rating: PG-13

Word Count: 5.4k (I’m so proud of myself!!)

Warnings: emotional abuse, manipulation, physical abuse, bullying, blood, character death

A/N: the climax is really bloody and pretty graphic, so read with caution.

Summary: Taehyung has spent his whole life living virtually alone in a tower, wishing he could just see once glimpse of the outside world until one day, a girl climbs through his window. That’s the day Taehyung’s life flips on its head.

—————

Taehyung sat in the window, chewing on his pencil as he stared at the sky. He was running out of inspiration. He had so many more notebooks, but nothing to fill them with. He glanced down at the faraway city that was the size of an ant to him, and frowned. He wished he could go out there. He was sure he was missing so much by staying inside. But his mother insisted he stay. It made no sense to him, really. Why could she go outside but he couldn’t? He didn’t bother asking. Even one mention of him going outside had her yelling at him. So, he stayed inside and didn’t ask questions.

It was nearing dusk when the shutters of the window swung open. Taehyung thought nothing of it. His mother scaled the tower every evening and climbed through the window. But he finally glanced up when he heard a gasp. Standing in the window seat was a girl with curly, brown hair. He dropped his notebook and let out a shriek.

The girl cringed and plugged her ears. “Hey! I’m not gonna hurt you!”

“Who are you?” He demanded, grabbing the first item he could reach. That item just so happened to be a broom.

“Me? My name is Indigo. Who are you?”

“T-Taehyung,” he stammered out.

She hummed. “I’ve never seen a man with such long hair before.”

That was odd. His mother always said it was too short. She’d never let him cut it, telling him it would lose its sandy blonde hue and healing powers, but even still it wouldn’t grow past his knees.

“Is it ugly?” He asked quietly.

“Ugly? No! It’s quite gorgeous. Just odd. Anyway, I’ll take my leave. I never realized someone lived up here. Just looked like a nice place to read a book if I could climb it.” She turned around and was about to swing her legs over the edge of the windowsill when a loud voice rang out.

“Taehyung! Mummy is home!”

Taehyung’s eyes went wide. “Shoot!” He exclaimed quietly. “Go hide in my closet! She’ll kill me if she finds out someone else is up here!”

Indigo raised an eyebrow, but followed his directions to the closet willingly.

“Oh, Taehyung! Your new sketches are gorgeous!” His mother gushed as she scanned his notebook.

“Did you bring back strawberries?” He asked, excitement lacing his voice.

“Oh, no, sweetheart, I’m sorry. It slipped my mind today.”

“Oh.” Taehyung’s mood dampened.

“I’ll get them tomorrow; don’t worry.”

“I just. . .was hoping we’d have some for tomorrow morning.”

“Tomorrow is just another day. Nothing important. I’ll bring some home tomorrow night.”

And Taehyung’s heart dropped again, for he recognized that she’d once again forgotten his birthday.

“Right. Did you bring home anything for dinner?”

“Did you do all your cleaning today?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“You didn’t forget to dust again, did you?”

Taehyung shook his head.

“Use your words.”

“No, ma’am. I didn’t forget. It’s done.”

“Good boy. I brought some rolls home from the bakery.”

Taehyung gasped. “Really?”

“Yes. You must eat in your room, though. I want quiet tonight.”

◇◆◇◆◇

Taehyung found himself in his room that evening, silent tears streaming down his face as he ate the cold bread. He looked up when he heard the closet door squeak open.

“You ok?” Indigo asked.

He nodded fiercely before scrubbing the tears off his face. “You’ll have to stay in there tonight,” he whispered. “I’m sorry.”

Indigo sat herself in the doorway of the closet. “That’s all right. It’s my fault for assuming this place vacant.” She paused. “You sure you’re all right? Your mom wasn’t talking to you very nicely out there.”

“What? No. . .she was being nice.” He hung his head.

“That. . .was nice?” Indigo recalled what she’d heard. “Is tomorrow something special?”

“Um. . .no. Just my birthday.”

Taehyung heard a small gasp. He glanced up just in time to see a grin light up Indigo’s face. “Oh! Happy early birthday!” Then her face fell. “Did she. . .forget?”

He shrugged. “Always does. I’ve stopped mentioning it because she always brushes it off. When I was younger, she’d bring me all sorts of gifts from the village and make me my favorite cake. But now. . .it’s not important anymore.” He buried his face in his hands as his eyes brimmed with tears.

“Would you mind if I took you somewhere?”

The room went dead silent. “You want me to. . .leave?”

“Sure. Why not?” After another few seconds, she asked, “have you never been out before?”

He shook his head. “I’m not allowed to leave.”

“Do you have any rope?”

◇◆◇◆◇

The next morning, his mother left at 8 am sharp. As she always did. It took Indigo all of fifteen minutes to decide it was ok for them to tie the rope.

“Ok, so you climb down the rope, I’ll take it down, and then I’ll climb down. How’s that sound?”

Taehyung shook his head, terrified. “I don’t think I can do it. What if she finds out? She-she’ll ground me from my sketch books. And she’ll lock me in my room.”

“Simple. If she finds out, I won’t bring you back.”

His eyes widened. “No! No, please. . .this is my whole life. My sketch books, my. . .my. . . .”

“If they mean that much to you, bring them with.”

He rushed to his room and grabbed the ten notebooks his mother hadn’t burned. He knew why she had to burn them. They didn’t have room in the tiny tower they lived in for hundreds of notebooks. But that didn’t mean seeing his art burn didn’t hurt.

Once he had all the books packed into a bag, he joined Indigo back at the window.

“You ready?”

He nodded. As much as he was terrified what his mother would say, he was curious. He wanted to see the city whose buildings appeared like tiny ants to him. He wanted to see another plant besides ivy.

“Oh. We should probably do something with your hair.”

◇◆◇◆◇

Once Tae’s hair was tied up in a bun and they’d climbed down to the ground, they were ready to start their adventure.

“What’s that?” Taehyung asked, pointing to a small frog by the river they were walking beside.

“That’s a frog. Don’t touch it, though.”

Taehyung squatted down next to the tiny slimy thing. “It looks sticky.”

Indigo laughed. “Does it?”

“Yeah.”

The frog suddenly leapt forward, and Taehyung shrieked, tumbling backwards into the dirt. Indigo giggled.

“Sorry. I forgot to tell you they jump.”

Taehyung sat back up and watched as the frog made once last jump into the river. “I wish I could jump like that.”

◇◆◇◆◇

“So, what do you want to see while we’re out here?”

Taehyung hummed, tapping his chin in thought. “I’d like to see the city. I’ve always been able to see it from my window, but it’s little tiny from there. I want to know what it looks like up close!”

“Oh! That’s a great idea! You’ll love the city!”

“Really? What’s it like?”

“Well, it’s big. They sell all sorts of goodies there, and there’s plenty of cool shops to look at!”

“What kind of shops?”

“Oh, many different kinds. They have clothing stores and appliance stores and paint shops and grocery stores.”

Taehyung stared at her with wide eyes. “They sell clothes?”

She raised an eyebrow. “Yeah?”

“I’ve been making my own clothes since I was seven!” He huffed.

She laughed. “Oh, well I guess we should definitely go there! Do you mind if I visit my parents first, though?”

◇◆◇◆◇

“Mom! I’m home!”

Indigo flung the door open before toeing her shoes off by the door. She dunked her feet in the bucket of water on the floor before wiping them off. Then she wandered towards the kitchen, leaving Taehyung to wash his dirty feet himself. He watched in shock as the dirt on his feet came right off with the wet washcloth.

“Tae! Come in here! Mom made pastries!”

Taehyung poked his head into the kitchen. An older woman was standing next to Indigo at the counter. If Taehyung hadn’t known better, he would’ve assumed they were sisters.

“Oh, isn’t he a doll. Where’d you find him?”

“He was in the forest too! He lives out there!”

Taehyung took a few cautious steps into the kitchen, unsure how to act in someone else’s house.

“What’s your name, sweetheart?”

“It’s Tae. . .Taehyung.”

“Oh, what a lovely name! Come, sit down! I’ve just finished lunch.”

Taehyung found it odd when Indigo pulled his chair out for him and her mother set a plate full of food in front of him.

“I have to eat all of this?” He asked, gulping.

“Oh, no, of course not. If you’re full you don’t have to finish it.”

This contrasted greatly to his mother’s usual, “finish your plate! I spent hours making that! Be grateful!”

The sandwich Indigo’s mother had put on his plate was the best lunch he’d ever eaten. Much to his disappointment, his stomach didn’t seem to have room for more than half it and a few grapes.

“You’re not going to finish that?” Indigo asked.

“Oh. N-no, I’m full.”

“Can I have it?”

He nodded, pushing his plate towards her. He was surprised to find her plate already empty as she bit into the second half of his sandwich.

“You don’t eat much, do you?” She asked as she chewed.

“Mother doesn’t usually have much left for me when she gets home,” he admitted. “And I rarely eat lunch.”

Indigo stopped chewing. She just sat there, gaping at him.

“You’re kidding.”

His eyes widened, and he shook his head.

“Are you sure you don’t want this?” She asked, holding the sandwich out to him.

He stomach growled, and he realized maybe he’d been lying to himself. He was just accustomed to eating so little that eating more than what calmed his nausea didn’t seem right to him. Before he could say another word, Indigo was holding the sandwich up to his mouth.

“Eat it, please. I’ll make another one if you’re still hungry.”

The sandwich was gone in less than a minute, and he practically inhaled the grapes and peach slices that had been left on his plate. He hiccuped before letting out a quiet burp.

“Excuse me.”

Indigo giggled. “You still hungry?”

He shook his head. “I feel like I’m going to burst.”

“Oh. I’m sorry. Did we over feed you?”

He shook his head. “No. It’s just an odd feeling. I’m not hungry.”

He didn’t miss the frown on Indigo’s face.

◇◆◇◆◇

“Tae, welcome to the market.”

Taehyung’s jaw was practically on the ground as he followed Indigo around. There were so many people that he had to stay right next to Indigo so he didn’t lose her.

“Here. I’m sure you’d like this.”

Indigo grabbed his hand and pulled him towards a booth. She grabbed one of the headbands and held it up in front of him.

“I noticed you’ve got this little strand of hair here that likes to hang in your face.” She tugged on the one short, black section of hair on his head. “I figured we could get you a headband to fix that.” She tucked it behind his ears and used it to push his hair back. Then she grinned.

“Lovely.” She turned back to the vendor. “Sir, how much is this headband?”

◇◆◇◆◇

“Oh, I do apologize, sir. I did not realize that this was your square of concrete!”

Taehyung wished he were smaller as Indigo argued with the big, bulky man she’d just ran into.

“I’ve told you before and I’ll warn you again, missy, I own this whole market and I’ll tell you where you can and cannot stand.”

“Nonsense! You don’t pay any of the property taxes on this market, nor do you bother to care for the land! If you’d like that responsibility, I can always tell Mr. Piper that you’d like to pay his bills.”

Taehyung shuddered, backing away slightly as the argument progressed. He didn’t make it far, though, because the man grabbed his arm and yanked him forward.

“Indigo, I see you have yourself a boyfriend here.” He yanked on Taehyung’s hair, freeing it from the bun that Indigo had spent so much effort twisting into his hair that morning. “A man with long hair? I knew you were an odd girl, Indigo, but I never thought you to go for a man with feminine charms.”

Indigo was about to open her mouth when Taehyung grabbed the man’s arm, unfurling his hand from Taehyung’s sandy locks. Then the boy looked up at him.

“Who says long hair makes me feminine?” He challenged.

The man snickered, bending down slightly to meet Taehyung’s gaze. “I see. You’re a child, aren’t you? You’ve got quite the baby face. I’d imagine you’re easy to beat in a fight to-“

Indigo sent her fist flying towards the man’s face, busting his lip open in the process. Taehyung took this opportunity to yank his wrist free. Indigo picked up the headband that had gone flying to the ground and settled it back on Taehyung’s head before grabbing his hand.

“We’re going.”

◇◆◇◆◇

They found themselves heading back to her parents’ house. Indigo was grumbling the whole way, complaining about the man they’d run into back in the market.

“Just like Garrett to ruin a good day. Couldn’t his mother have raised him better?” She kicked a rock, hissing in pain as it cut through her skin. She came to a stop, grabbing Taehyung’s arm as she held her foot up to examine it. “I’m a idiot. Why didn’t I wear my loafers today?”

“Are you all right?” Taehyung asked.

“Yes. I just cut my toe. It’s fine.”

When they entered the house, Taehyung guided her to sit on the couch before insisting he wash her feet. She stared at him, quite bewildered as he used his hair to wash the dirt and the bit of blood off her feet. After a few moments, he examined her feet. Then he ran his hand over her toe. She winced, expecting it to hurt. But then she stilled. She glanced down at him to find him smiling.

“There. Does it feel all right now?”

She reached down, pulling her foot up so she could examine it. The cut was completely gone, not even leaving a scar. She gaped at him, causing him to turn red under her gaze.

“What did you just do?”

He stuttered. “Um. I. . . . I can heal people with my hair?”

“But. . .how?”

He shrugged. “It’s why my hair is so long. It loses the magic if it’s cut.” He reached up and freed his hair from the headband, separating the dark piece from the rest of them. “My mother cut my hair once when I was little. When she saw it turn black, she refused to cut anymore.”

Indigo gasped. “Really?”

He nodded.

“That’s amazing!”

He shrugged. “It’s a curse, honestly. Mother tells me when I was a baby, people tried to kidnap me for my hair. It’s why I’m not allowed to leave, I guess.” He huffed. “I don’t understand how anyone would recognize me. No one today questioned it besides your friend.”

“Friend?” Indigo scoffed. “That man is my enemy. Has been since second grade.”

She stood up, marching out to the kitchen. “Do you want a drink?”

◇◆◇◆◇

Indigo dragged Taehyung through the village.

“You have to try Mama Gina’s cooking. It’s so good!” Indigo exclaimed.

“Where are we going, exactly?” Taehyung asked.

“The weekly cookout! Those of us in the smaller part of town get together and have a potluck every Monday!”

“Oh, really?”

“Yep! We’re like a little family down here. Some of us don’t have much, so other people like to pitch in and share food even during the rest of the week.”

Taehyung grinned. “That’s kind of them.”

Indigo grinned as she skipped along the path.

“Hey, why didn’t you bring shoes with us?” She asked as she caught sight of his feet.

“Shoes? Oh, I don’t have any. I never leave the tower, so there wasn’t reason for me to have a pair.”

Indigo tsked. “I should’ve given you a pair. My dad has many old ones he doesn’t wear anymore.”

Taehyung shrugged. “It’s all right. I’m headed home tonight. I don’t need any.”

Indigo pointed at the jagged path below them. “Won’t you get hurt?” She paused. “I suppose your hair can always heal it, right?” She giggled.

“Of course.” He stared at the sky for a long spell of time before he met her gaze again. “Will your friends not think it strange that you’re bringing someone they don’t know tonight?”

“Nah. We bring guests all the time.”

Taehyung smiled and look up at the lights framing the pathway. “This place is beautiful.”

“Isn’t it? Sometimes there are butterflies out here during the day. We have to watch the paths, though. The butterflies like to lay in the sun.”

Taehyung grinned. “Yes! I’ve seen a few on my windowsill! They like to sit up there sometimes. They don’t come up often, though. I think it’s too high for most of them to want to make the trip.”

They reached the bottom of the winding staircase soon enough, and were met with an open courtyard filled with tables. A tan woman with dark hair greeted them.

“Indigo, darling! You’re early tonight! Who is this you’ve brought with you?”

“Mama Gina! This is Taehyung. Taehyung, Mama Gina.”

The woman smiled at him. “Well, I hope you enjoy our dinner tonight. It’s my night to cook the main dish, and my meals aren’t the greatest.”

“Mama Gina! Don’t be ridiculous! You food is the best I’ve had besides my own mother’s.”

She shook her head. “You’re too kind, sweetheart. Well, I’d better finish up.”

“Of course. Don’t let us keep you.”

Indigo grabbed Taehyung’s hand and lead him around the courtyard. She point to a tree that was split down the middle. “This is my favorite tree. It’s easy to climb.”

“Can we climb it?” He asked.

“Sure!”

Indigo let go of his hand and heaved herself up onto the tree. Then she held her hand out to him. He smiled and grabbed her hand before pulling himself up.

“Is there anything else you’d like to do tonight?”

He shook his head, belatedly realizing his mother would probably get back home before he did. He sighed.

“Is something wrong?”

“I just realized it’s getting very late. My mother will probably be home before we have a chance to get there.”

Indigo gasped. “Oh no! We should leave now! I’m so sorry! I didn’t realize how late it was!” She was about to jump out of the tree when he wrapped his arm around her waist.

“Don’t mind it. At this moment in time, I’d rather not head back.”

She looked up at him. “Are you sure?”

He nodded. “Whatever punishment she has for me tomorrow, I can stand it if it means I get another few hours with you.”

◇◆◇◆◇

“Why doesn’t Mama Gina have any kids?” Taehyung asked quietly as he took a bite of food.

“Oh. She nearly died having her firstborn. There’s a myth that she made a deal with a witch that if she could have one petal of a healing flower, she’d give the witch her baby.” Indigo shrugged as she whispered back. “Who knows if it’s true. She won’t confirm or deny the story. She was never married, though, so if she was ever pregnant, she would’ve gotten kicked out of town. Honestly, if that baby is even alive today it’s because she gave them away.”

Taehyung stared at her for a few seconds, completely shocked by the story she’d just told him. She glanced up at him and giggled.

“It is an odd story, I’m aware.”

“More than,” he murmured before taking another bite of his dinner. “So, what? Does no one know if she was pregnant or not?”

Indigo shrugged. “I wouldn’t know. It was a year or two before I was born that those rumors started.”

He nodded. “I see.”

“It’s a shame, really. She’d be a wonderful mother. I haven’t even seen her with a guy in the sixteen years I’ve been alive.”

He frowned. “It is a shame. No one to feed this delicious food on the daily.”

Indigo giggled, and for that moment, he forgot the dread he’d be facing when he got home. He forgot what it was like to feel lonely. And he realized that perhaps, for once in his life, he might understand what it meant to be in love.

◇◆◇◆◇

“Oh, look, you can see the stars,” Indigo gasped as she stared up at the sky.

“Can you not usually?”

“No. The city is too lit up at night to see most of them.”

“Oh, that’s sad.”

Indigo grinned suddenly. “You know, I think you’re a lot more talkative than you were this morning!”

He laughed. “I’m not used to having the freedom to say whatever I want, I guess.”

She sighed and nodded. “You’re sure you want to go back?”

He looked down at her. “It’s my home. I have to.”

“But do you want to?”

He hesitated, but nodded. She sighed.

“All right.”

They walked in a companionable silence for a while. It was clear that neither of them really wanted to be making this trip. They both walked at a slow pace as they made their way down the dirt path.

“I’m gonna miss you,” Indigo admitted. “Most people my age don’t pay attention to me. They think I’m odd.”

“Why?”

“I climb trees. I wear pants. I read books.”

“Do your people not do that? I thought I saw many people at the market wearing pants.”

“Those are things for boys to do. And clearly, I am not one.”

He scoffed. “Next you’re going to tell me skirts are only for women.”

She gave him a pointed look.

“No! They are not!”

She laughed. “They are.”

He groaned. “I couldn’t imagine not wearing skirts!”

“You’d be the first and last man I’ll ever hear say that.”

He shook his head, going silent as he stared at the ground.

“What is it?”

He wiped a tear off his face. “Oh, it’s nothing.”

“Clearly, it isn’t.”

He let out a bitter laugh. “It’s just. . .I don’t fit in anywhere, do I? I disappoint everyone.”

“Tae.”

When she didn’t speak further, he glanced at her.

“You don’t disappoint me.”

He shook his head. “You’ve known me for a day. What’s there to judge from that?”

“Well, me wearing pants is enough to disappoint someone who’s never even seen me before. I think a day is more than enough time to decide I like someone. I daresay you are the kindest man I’ve ever met.”

He stared at her for a few seconds, breathless. “What?”

She smiled at him. “You’re the kindest man I’ve ever met, Taehyung.” She held her hand out to him. “Now, come on. We still have three and a half hours ahead of us to walk. The sun will be rising before we get there.

◇◆◇◆◇

Indigo began to scale the wall.

“You’re sure this is safe?” Taehyung asked as he watched her. It was pitch black outside, and climbing the wall wasn’t the easiest thing in the world, he was sure.

“I did it the first time and I’ll do it again. I promised I’d get you home, didn’t I?”

“You did. . .but. . . .”

“Shhh. Let me climb.”

Taehyung sat there for half an hour, nervously chewing his nails as he watched her. Eventually, she reached the top and climbed in the window. She hastily grabbed the rope hanging next to the window before tying it to a hook on the wall and throwing it down. Taehyung caught it and scaled the building in five minutes using it. He was panting when he reached the top.

“Thanks. You’re a lifesaver. You’d best be going now.”

◇◆◇◆◇

“You know what? I’m cutting your hair off.” Indigo decided as she was about to climb out the window.

“What?” Taehyung asked.

“You said it kills the magic. If we get rid of the magic, there’s no reason you can’t roam free!” She pulled a pair scissors out of her pocket, leaving Taehyung to wonder when she’d put those there.

She grabbed half of his hair in her hand, grinning widely before slicing the huge chunk of hair off his head. She was in the middle of cutting the second section of his hair when his mother appeared in the doorway to the kitchen.

“What on earth are you doing?” She cried, running straight at Indigo.

Indigo smirked, cutting the remainder of Taehyung’s hair off, marveling at how it all turned a dark shade of brown as it was separated from itself. She dropped the scissors just as a loud bang echoed through the room, causing her vision to go black.

◇◆◇◆◇

Taehyung didn’t have time to react as his mother pounced on him, causing him to fall to the ground. She grabbed a piece of thick fabric laying a few inches from them to tie his hands together before she dragged him to the oven and used the rope to tie his wrists to the handle.

“Let me go!” He protested.

“No. You have been very disobedient these past two days. You snuck out overnight, leaving me to have to find my own way up here, and now you’ve let this little girl cut your precious hair. Do you really hate me that much?”

Taehyung considered it for a moment. “Yes.”

She gasped, slapping him harshly across the cheek. “You are ungrateful. I’ve kept you safe your whole life, feeding you and giving you shelter, and this is how you thank me?”

He felt his head spin at the pain radiating from his cheek. He had barely a clue what his mother had just said. And worse yet, he knew Indigo was laying unconscious on the floor. He’d heard the sound that his mother’s pan had made as it hit Indigo’s head.

His mother seemed to think he was ignoring her, because she crossed the room to pull Indigo off the ground. His eyes widened as he watched her shove the unconscious girl against the tower’s brick wall. He watched as his mother picked up the scissors Indigo had dropped when she passed out.

◇◆◇◆◇

The only thing Indigo could feel was pain as her back slammed against the wall. She briefly heard Taehyung’s horrified scream as a searing pain cut into her abdomen. She glanced down, faintly realizing her shirt was covered in blood before her legs went weak and she slid to the floor.

“No! Stop, please stop!” Taehyung cried, working at the fabric knot with his teeth in an attempt to free himself.

The moment he was untied from the oven, he ran mindlessly towards the woman he’d called his mother, ripping the scissors from her hand. He looked at Indigo, tears filling his eyes as she lay there, nearly unconscious.

“You’re a fool, Taehyung,” his mother growled as she took a step towards him. He took a step back.

“I’ve spent years protecting you by keeping you here, and you disobey me the second you see someone from the outside world!”

Taehyung continued to pace backwards until he was leaning against the window frame.

“This is how you thank me?” She asked, suddenly lunging towards him.

He jumped to the side, landing on the floor. He turned back only when he heard the scream his mother let out as she tumbled out the window. He sat there for a moment, stunned as he realized what he’d just done. But his attention was diverted as he heard the faint groan Indigo let out. He tossed the scissors to the side and crawled over to her, his heart pounding in his chest. He pulled her against his chest, lifting her shirt up to see the damage that had been done.

“Tae. . .” Indigo gasped out, looking up at him. He could tell she was having trouble focusing on him. “I. . .love you. Tell my parents I love them. . .please.”

“I love you. . .too.”

He felt her grip on his shirt loosen, and he let out a choked sob as her eyes fluttered shut.

“No! No, please!” Tears streamed down his face. “Why did you cut my hair? You’d still be here if you hadn’t!” He buried his face in her hair and sobbed, not caring that her hair was getting soaked.

“I’m. . .sorry,” he whispered. “I shouldn’t have left with you in the first place. I should’ve let you go alone. I was. . .selfish.” His lip quivered before another loud sob erupted from him.

The sun was peeking through the open window, mocking him. Everything in him had died the moment Indigo took her last breath. He could feel his whole world collapsing in on him as he held the only person who had ever loved him. She’d shone so much light into his world one day, and stomped that light out the next. He could feel himself shaking as he let out loud, painful sobs. He wound his fingers into her hair, holding her as close as he possibly could.

He startled a moment later as he felt a tug on his collar.

“Tae. . .what on earth did you do?”

He sat up ramrod straight, staring down at Indigo. She appeared a bit woozy, but the wound in her abdomen had disappeared.

“What?” He gasped, running his hand over her stomach in shock. He laughed, tears still spilling down his cheeks. Then he lunged forward and pull her into a hug. “You’re ok!” He exclaimed, another sob bubbling up from him.

Indigo winced. “Ooo, that hurts.”

He instantly flinched away from her, his whole body going tense. “What? What hurts?”

Indigo grinned at him before laughing. “Nothing hurts. I’m playing with you.” She grabbed his collar, pulling him back towards her before pressing a kiss into his lips cautiously before leaning away slightly.

His face lit up like the noonday sun as she pulled away, and he bent down again to capture her lips with his.

“I love you,” he mumbled against her mouth.

“I love you too, Tae,” she giggled. Then she pulled away from him ever so slightly. “Short, dark hair suits you.”

◇◆◇◆◇

“Garrett, if you say one more word-“

“What? You’ll call your little husband? I’ve seen how wimpy he is.”

“Who’s wimpy?” Tae asked, chuckling when Garrett flinched at the sound of his voice.

“Oh. Um-“ Garrett stuttered, trying to come up with an excuse. He looked up at the large clock tower in the middle of the square “Oh would you look at the time! I have some business to attend to!”

Tae laughed as the man ran off. “Does he still think I’m the kid he met last year?”

“Apparently,” Indigo muttered as she brushed off her dress.

“Indigo.”

“What?”

“Is that a dress you’re wearing?”

“What-?” She glanced down at it. “Oh this thing? Nooooo. It’s just. . .a very long shirt!”

“Hmm. That’s odd. It seems to be missing buttons on the front here.” He pointed to the top of her dress.

She grinned sheepishly. “Ok, I must admit. The dress is pretty comfortable.”

He grinned. “I told you!”

She smacked his shoulder. “Oh, lay off it. I’m not wearing this again.”

“Oh yes, of course you’re not!”

“That reminds me. Did I mention that Mama Gina confirmed that the rumor about her was true?”

He scoffed. “Yes. Yesterday. And last week. And a month ago. I think you might’ve mentioned it quite a few months ago as well. . . .” He smiled. “I know you’d like me to discuss it with her, sweetheart, but I’m not ready yet.”

Indigo sighed. “You’re sure?”

“Yep!” Taehyung scooped her up into his arms, causing her to shriek. “Let’s go home! Mom said she’s making lunch.”

Indigo giggled and planted a kiss on his cheek. “All right. Let’s go home.”

—————

Taglist: @jiminie-and-his-pinky-finger @taehoneycheeks @jinnie-forthe-winnie

[sofxrst]

warning: lots of rambles ahead

BASIC INFORMATION

What is your character’s full name? Sofia Robbin Sloan-Torres

How is it pronounced? GOD DAMN. So-Fe-Uh Rob-Bin Slow-n Tore-es.

Does your character have any nicknames? Sof, Sofs, Sofie ( not as frequently used ), Sofa ( thanx 2 Charlotte ), Little Miss, Little Goose, probably a ton more because apparently she doesn’t have enough names as it is.

When and where were they born? Seattle Grace Mercy West Hospital like 26 years ago.

What’s their occupation? Homie is a resident surgeon.

What gender do they identify themselves as? Female.

PHYSICAL APPEARANCE

What’s their eye color? Brown.

Do they wear glasses or contacts? NAY.

Hair color? Dark brown with light tones.

Have they ever dyed their hair or wanted to? She’s gotten highlights and ombre type things but there was a point in time where she wanted to dye it probably rainbow or something but she knows damn well that dying a full head of thick dark hair would not be a good time.

Height? 5′5′’

Do they have any birthmarks? Uhhh probably but she doesn’t have any that’re prominent or anything like that.

Do they have any piercings or tattoos? Her ears are pierced and we’re gonna say she does have a tattoo that she sneakily got as a smol but it’s a secret because she knows for a fact 2/4 parents would NOT ENJOY WOULD KICK HER ASS.

If not, do they want to get some? -

Do they take an healthy life style? I mean I feel like I have to say yes because of how fit Sofia’s FC is she cOULD SMOOSH ME WITH HER BICEPS.

How easy do they get sick? Not very easily but when she does she’s SUPER DRAMATIC.

Any marks on their body ( injuries, … )? She has a slight scar on her chest from when she had heart surgery when she was like 5 weeks old.

How do they usually dress like? When she’s not in scrubs she’s usually in like workout/athletic wear but sometimes she gets super dressed up for absolutely no reason other than the fact that she CAN!!

What is their favorite and least favorite feature about themselves? Her favorite is probably her smile because it’s really bright she probably get it from Arizona somehow and her least favorite is her height maybe?? Like Mark & Callie are pretty tall and she’s NOT she was disrespected by genetics THE NERVE.

PERSONALITY

Positive traits? She’s intelligent, quick-witted, & caring.

Negative traits? She’s impulsive, stubborn, & really tends to make bad decision like she’s super book smart but not common sense smart at times.

What do they consider to be the best and the worst on their personality? Sofia thinks her drive/stubbornness is the best of her personality, and her worst is that she tends to make really bad decisions. 

Are they more extroverted or introverted? Extroverted for sure.

Any talents? Sofia’s really sneaky/good at messing with people it’s a talent she acquired having many parents. 

What are their fears? Sofia’s fears are kind of the basic things like letting her parents and 254,459 siblings down because she has so many smol siblings and she worries that if she screws up they won’t look up to her or anything like that if that makes sense.

Do they have any phobias? Sciurophobia, and Emiliophobia ( the fear of Amelia Shepherd ).

What is their soft spot? CLAIRE!!! HER SIBLINGS!!! And literally any other child like she loves everyone she probably babysat most of the kids when she was younger she lOBES THEM!!!! SHE PROTECTIVE AF AND SOMETIMES MOTHERLY BECAUSE SHE LOBE THEM LET HER LOBE THE SMOLS

List 3 pet-peeves they can’t stand? I don’t know Sofia’s really obnoxious so it’s hard to bother her but when she was younger she really hated when people made a fuss about her family like especially teachers.

EDUCATION

How far did they went in school? Are they still studying? Homegirl hecking got her degree she rolled through med school and now she’s living her best life as a resident.

Do/Did they like school? Sofia really actually loved school because she was super smart and social and had a grand ass time.

What type of student are they? Type A for sure but she wasn’t super annoying she was just a teeeeeeeeny bit of a nerd. She did lots of clubs and stuff too she was super involved 10/10 good Sofia.

What is/was their favorite subject? She’s wanted to be a surgeon since she was a teeny so Sofia’s always loved science mostly because it made sense to her. AND SHE WAS A NERD.

And their least favorite? Uuuuhhhhhh probably math even though she’s smart af it’s tedious and bores her.

What were they / would they be voted as “most likely to…” in the yearbook? UNLIKE OUR GOOD PAL EMILIO SHEPHERD, Sofia for sure got ‘most likely to take over the world’ AND SHE WILL!!!!!!!!!!!!! with her parents’ permission :-)

FAMILY

Who are your character’s parents? WHO AREN’T SOFIA’S PARENTS!!!?!! She’s got Callie, Arizona, Mark, and Lexie.

How would your character describe them? DAMMIT THIS ABOUT TO BE AN ESSAY HERE I GO: okay so Callie is kind of ( I imagine ) the most authoritative parent and Sofia loves her to death but if she had to decide which parent scared her the most 10/10 would be Callie even though she knows Callie is a sweet kind woman she listens to Callie the best though she’s the one who the other parents would threaten to get if she was being bad as a smol and Sofia would BE GOOD. Arizona is goodcop 100% she’s Sofia’s homie I always imagine them having a really sweet relationship, Arizona’s the one Sofia goes to when she FUCKS UP!!!!! And she knows Arizona will make her feel better or tell her wtf to do. CHEATERS GOTTA STAY TOGETHER!!! MARK O MARK!!!! Sofia loves Mark so much mostly because she knows she’s a lot like him and she loves being around him because they have really complimentary personalities and their egos are HUGE AS HELL AND IT’S A FUN TIME. Lexie smol Lexie, Sofia used to call her ‘my Lexie’ when she was a teeny smol she loves Lexie so much she really really tries to be more like Lexie sometimes because Lexie’s so calm and chill and sweet most of the time and Sofia is typically LOUD AND NOT CHILL AND WILD. When she was little she also was convinced Lexie was a witch/superhero ( it alternated ) because of her photographic memory.

Do they have any siblings? DOES SOFIA HAVE SIBLINGS?????? SHE HAS !!!NINE!!! SIBLINGS

Are they close with their family? Because she was gone for 8 years with some limited contact because she was so damn busy things are a little hmmmmm right now but she’s really trying and it’s all fine because thE LOVE IS STILL THERE SOFIA LOVE HER FAM JAM.

ROMANCE & SEXUALITY - * you can totally skip for younger characters

What’s their romantic and sexual orientation? Biromantic & bisexual.

Are they seeing anyone right now? Nope but that’s only because she’s trying not to jump right into anything serious rn EVEN THO SHE WANNA BE WITH CLAIRE.

Have they ever been in an relationship? She’s really only been in one, like she started dating Michael when they were 14 and they just broke up they were together for like 12 years. Sometimes they would break up for a week and she’d try to date someone to piss him off but it never worked because they always got back together.

Have they ever been in love? YES YES.

How easy to they fall for someone? Sofia has a really big heart so she always falls for people she probably falls for someone at the grocery store who says ‘have a nice day’.

In their view, why didn’t any past relationships work out? She’s like slowly coming to the realization that she and Michael didn’t work out because they planned their lives when they were like 16 they didn’t account for the fact that they’d be busy as HECK when they started their internships. They also grew apart HELLA like they got together as teeny smols and now that they’re adults they’re completely different people who just aren’t compatible.

What do they look for in someone? Someone who’s witty and can handle teasing and can make jokes with her, and someone who’s sweet and caring and can put up with her dumbass.

Do they believe in love at first sight? or fate? Yes & yes, she a little goof.

What’s their views on romance? Do they go after it or avoid it? Sofia is 100% someone to mock cliche cheesy stuff but lowkey she loves it and she’s a total sucker for it so she TOTALLY goes for it.

What are their turn ons and turn offs? Turn ons are obviously a good sense of humor & intelligence, like someone whose wit matches hers. And her turn offs are idiots and ignorance and boring people.

Were they ever cheated on or cheated on someone? Yes. 

Do they want to get married in the future? Right now tells herself that she doesn’t because she just had a FLOPPED ass engagement but she definitely does.

Have kids? Sofia wants kids so so so much she loves kids and she’s super good with them but a few years ago she found out she can’t carry them and she’s kept that from literally everyone but it’s been really rough on her even though she knows she has tons of other options it makes her sad.

QUIRKS

Are they right or left handed? Right handed.

Is there a saying they keep on repeating? uhhh no not right now but she does mention her ‘flopped’ engagement a lot because if she’s not joking about it she CRYING ABOUT IT.

Do they curse? Oh yes very much.

What’s their worst habit? Something small like cracking her knuckles.

Do they drink or smoke? How frequently? She drinks sometimes but not that often because Sofia is a very GO HARD OR GO HOME woman so it never ends well but she doesn’t smoke no.

Are they an early bird or a night owl? She’s probably THAT BITCH!!! Who’s somehow wide away at 8am and not in a shit mood.

How tidy is their room? Super tidy becausE SHE HAS NO STUFF BECAUSE IT’S STILL IN MARYLAND. SHE LITERALLY HAS LIKE A BED AND SOME DECORATIONS SHE’S WAITING FOR THE REST AND SHE’S GOTTA DO SOME SHOPPING.

How long to they usually take getting ready in the morning? Not too long because she doesn’t do much.

FAVORITES

What’s their favorite color? She love a good nude color.

Favorite movie? HM probably like Inside Out and she cries every time but she only watches it when she’s drunk which is probably why she cries every time.

Music Genre? Pop and Latin she get LIT.

Food? Fries. Sofia love fries.

Books? SHIT I DON’T KNOW SHE’S A NERD uh maybe like ‘It’ because it’s long af and terrifying she’s probably hella into that frickin nerd.

Favorite non-alcoholic drink? Probably chocolate milk because she’s five years old.

Ice Cream Flavor? Cotton candy.

Indoors or outdoors? She hella sporty and stuff so she loves the outdoors and jogging ew gross.

[blissfulsunkisses]

To The Boy I’ll Forever Love.

A year ago God blessed me by putting you in my life and I’ve never been more thankful. 2017 was the roughest year ever, I was played several times and ended up with many heartbreaks and unfortunately I let these people break me. So much was changing that year for me, we sold our house and were going to be moving to America and to be honest I really dreaded it as I was leaving my whole life behind to go start a new one where I knew nobody besides my uncle. It’s really hard to pack up everything, all the memories and just go. The worst was leaving my friends behind but the absolute killer was leaving you behind. After 7 months of intense heartbreak I had given up on love, I truly believed that love was not in my future and that it just wasn’t meant to be. Maybe it was because I kept rushing into relationships and trusting no-good people or maybe it was that I was destined to find true love before I left. It was finally coming up to the end of July and my first thought was “schools finishing I can finally go out and party” but I clearly jinxed myself and partied to hard that weekend and ended getting acute bronchitis and was not allowed to attend my last week of school. The last week of July also brought some good things into my life, I had recently been stalking you on Instagram and then 2 days later you followed me on Instagram and I was filled with happiness because I thought you were a cutie even though I’d only ever seen you on Instagram. I spoke to my one friend a lot about you because there was just something about you that kept taking me back to your Instagram page and eventually I didn’t have to search your name anymore, you were now my top searched, who would’ve thought in a million years I’d go through your page so much.

It was now the second week of August, I was finally better and was ready to hit the town again as my final day in the homeland was approaching and I knew once I moved, there would be no more partying. That weekend (August 12th) I was with my friend and I suggested we go out so we got our group of friends together and told them our last minute plans and they were down. Unfortunately who would’ve known that we all ended up being broke that night and could only afford the free water. Our one friend was speaking to his group of friends while I stood behind them all with my girl friend being shy as ever until I heard my instagram name being called out followed by “I follow you on Instagram.” I tried to act dumb as if I couldn’t think of your name but rather it was sitting right on the tip of my tongue ready to be shouted out. We then became “instagram homies” as you said. The night went on and we all went our own ways, my friend and I were skitting the night away in the basement and then I saw you again from the corner of my eye. I thought “it’s a sign let me get closer” but I turned around to make sure I could still see my friend and as I turned back, you were gone. I ended up going on my own mission to find you and hopefully speak to you, I walked out the basement and I passed you sitting on the one bench but you looked occupied so I went to the next stage and stayed there. The night was coming to an end and I successfully failed my own missions of talking to you. We got home and while lying in bed I asked my friend “should I dm him now and say it was good meeting him?” And she told me to wait till the morning so I didn’t look desperate. 6am came and I couldn’t be more excited to send you a message, I sent it and now the wait for your reply had begun.

After I got out the dms with you, we finally started having proper conversations and if I’m being honest, I started to like you but I warned myself not to fall so fast and get hurt but I did the exact opposite but never got hurt. Our first date (August 21) left me with millions of butterflies in my stomach and with your jumper that smelt of heaven covering my neck. I couldn’t wait to tell my mom how amazing our date was and how I thought you were the one, she looked at me and her eyes lit up and I knew she knew you were the one for me. I never slept all night as I knew it was a sign, I prayed so hard to be given a sign if I was destined for love and you, you were the sign... I fell in love with you but I didn’t tell you that until later on. Every time I saw you, every day I spent with you, I fell more and more in love with you.

My last week in the homeland had arrived and I did not want to leave, mainly because I was leaving you and I did not want to leave you. I spent every single day with you during my last week and I think that was my best week ever. I learnt so much about you and saw sides to you I could never imagine a person to have. You made me feel like I was the only girl in the world when I was with you. The first day you held my hand in public, I knew you were a keeper because no matter how shy you were to hold it you still did and I to be honest, I didn’t want to let your hand go. Every day I saw you I wished that I had met you before me moving was even in my future. I never wanted to leave you, each day when it came to our goodbyes I hated it because it meant I was a day closer to leaving you and each time I got in the car to leave my throat felt as if it was closing due to me wanting to cry. My final day with you has and forever will leave a hollow in my heart, I should’ve climbed out the car and given you one last goodbye but I couldn’t let you see me cry. My last date with you, I wouldn’t want to change it one bit because that was the day I truly fell in love with you, it was the day where my heart was so full it felt complete again, the day that left me with happiness and butterflies as it was the start of something I hoped would never end. Our last goodbye, the goodbye I prayed would never come was absolutely heartbreaking, I wanted nothing more than to cry in your arms and be by you and your heart forever. My Uber arrived and I could already feel my throat croaking and I was trying so hard to keep my tears back, the look on your face and our last touch will forever be a memory stuck in my head and heart. I should’ve stopped the Uber to give you one last hug and I’ll always regret that. I cried the whole ride home and couldn’t wait to get to my grans house so I could see my mom and hug her as I felt a hole forming in my heart and you were the only one who could fill that hole. You, you stole my heart.

I settled down in America and continued to fall in love with you even though we were 10,299 miles apart from one another. We FaceTimed every day and every night for about 3/4hrs, every chance I got I’d FaceTime you because seeing you made me so happy and warmed my heart. You always had a smile on your face, you’d wake up before the sun had even risen to call me. You truly were heavenly sent. September 13th you wrote on your leg “will you be my gf” and showed me your leg at 9pm when I FaceTimed you, and that was the day my life changed. I planned a future with you, you were part of my life, you held a special place in my heart that I knew would never be lost.

It was now 2018 and we still were the happiest couple ever. The months went on, we grew closer, we started planning our futures together, everything was just perfect. I had finally booked my ticket to come home and see you and spend at least 8 days with you and I couldn’t have been more happier but due to family issues that had occurred during February I started attending therapy from April and have been going ever since. I really enjoy going to a therapist because it’s not always easy to speak to those you love about your problems especially until somewhere down the line my happiness changed and I became selfish. I started to rethink this whole long distance relationship due to always seeing other couples out and having fun and being able to physically touch their partners while mine was 10,299 miles away and I wasn’t able to touch him or properly see him until June 18. Summer was approaching, graduation was coming up and all I could think of was going out and experiencing this 3 month summer holiday everyone always boasts about.

I unfortunately let the selfish part of me take over and started drifting away from you, every time I wanted to tell you I couldn’t because your happiness was so special to me and you were in such a good space in your life, I didn’t want to wreck that. Instead I wrecked something I’ll forever hate myself for. I wrecked us. I wanted to go out and do crazy things but I was scared that you wouldn’t approve of the crazy summer I had coming for me. I let people convince me that it was better to be single than do long distance. I cried in so many therapy lessons because I felt as if something was taking over my heart and my mind. I held several things so deep inside of me that I physically made myself sick. I didn’t want to make a decision but my therapist told me “if it’s meant to be it’ll be, even if it doesn’t turn out how you would like, try again in the future because a love this deep could never fade” and those words have stayed with me until this day. Ending things with you was never something I planned, please know that. It was never something I hoped would happen. I wish it never did and that I was still with you, I miss the sound of your voice, I miss you, I miss your incredible personality and sense of humor but I mainly miss the memories and time I could’ve been spending with you right now. I should’ve waited and spoken to you, I shouldn’t have just gone straight ahead and ended it because you didn’t deserve it. You deserved nothing but happiness and when I ended it, I sat in my school bathroom and cried myself into a state. So many summer nights I’d be sitting with a bottle pressed against my lips but rather hoping it was your lips instead of a bottle. I cried so many nights but couldn’t man up and tell you that I missed you because I had ended it and felt like a witch who shouldn’t be feeling anything besides hatred as I hurt the only person I ever truly loved and never wanted to part with.

I know there’ll never be enough words in this lifetime to apologize to you but I’m so sorry. You never deserved the pain I put you through and I’m sorry I put you through it. I’m sorry I sprung it all upon you when you weren’t expecting it. I let you go and I’ll never forgive myself. I can’t say that I’ll send you this to read but if you do, please know that you were my world and I’m sorry for the pain I caused you. I miss you so much it’s scary. I wake up most nights at 3/4am with hurt in my body and I just want to cry and it’s all because I let a selfish part of me make a decision I shouldn’t have made.

I wish you all the best of luck with your future. You’re so special and you have a bright future coming your way. Never give up on yourself or the goals you set because like I’ve always said to you, you can do it and many people believe in you so keep going! I wish you all the best of luck for the adventure coming your way in these next few months, you're going to do great and shock people with your extraordinary mind. I hope one day we can figure things out as I don’t want to let you go from my life. You do and forever will hold a chunk of my heart and I’ll never forget you.

To the one I let go of, I love you.

[sativasaku]

About Saku

I know this is one of those send a number to my ask things but I’m bored af and I’m gonna fill out this whole bitch lol

1: Full name Saku

2: Zodiac sign Cancer sun, Scorpio moon, Capricorn rising.

3: 3 Fears Snakes, rejection, failure.

4: 3 things I love The moon, crystals, drawing.

5: 4 turns on Good smell, big hands, scruffy face? xD

6: 4 turns off Bad smell, smol hands, baby face? LOL

7: My best friend Adam (my boyfriend)

AND MADISEN I MEAN I GUESS

8: Sexual orientation Bisexual

9: My best first date Uhhhhh idr lol

10: How tall am I 5'6’’

11: What do I miss My pipe I broke a few weeks ago (RIP Rhaegal)

12: What time were I born 9:42 pm

13: Favourite color Green, teal and orange.

14: Do I have a crush Jon Snow

15: Favourite quote Idfk

16: Favourite place Oregon.

17: Favourite food Pho and ramen.

18: Do I use sarcasm Not really lol

19: What am I listening to right now Dr Phil ripping someone a new one.

20: First thing I notice in new person Idfk.. I always feel vibes lol

21: Shoe size 8 ½

22: Eye color Blue/green

23: Hair color Black.

24: Favourite style of clothing Boho, comfy hippie fashion. Also goth/witchy 😘

25: Ever done a prank call? When I was a teenager lol

26: What colour of underwear I’m wearing now? Light blue and black.

27: Meaning behind my URL Saku has been my OC/pen name since I was like 13. Targaryen is from Game of Thrones.

28: Favourite movie I hate his question 😅 Blair Witch Project, Hayou Miyazaki films, A Tale of Two Sisters, Harry Potter, Se7en, Labyrinth,

29: Favourite song Rain of Brass Petals 3 Voices edit

30: Favourite band Chevelle

31: How I feel right now So full😩😩😩

32: Someone I love My cats

33: My current relationship status Taken. Slightly open relationship? Like we would probably have a 3some with a chick 😂

34: My relationship with my parents Hmmm…

35: Favourite holiday Halloween duh.

36: Tattoos and piercing i have Nose, ears stretched to 2g, sailor moon broach on left forearm, cancer symbol + heart on right wrist, pokeball on right foot, anarchy A on left foot, crescent moon and stars on left hip.

37: Tattoos and piercing i want I have a list lol

38: The reason I joined Tumblr Boredom.

39: Do I and my last ex hate each other? We are non existent to each other.

40: Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts? Not really xD

41: Have I ever kissed the last person you texted? Uhhhhh idr who I texted last 😅

42: When did I last hold hands? Idfr.

43: How long does it take me to get ready in the morning? What are mornings

44: Have I shaved your legs in the past three days? Yes

45: Where am I right now? Sitting in my closet smoking lol

46: If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me? Probably Adam…

47: Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level? LOUD.

48: Do I live with my Mom and Dad? Yes

49: Am I excited for anything? Going back to Oregon.

50: Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to? My boyfriend.

51: How often do I wear a fake smile? Lol

52: When was the last time I hugged someone? Earlier today.

53: What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me? I’d lose my fxkin mind lol

54: Is there anyone I trust even though I should not? Nope.

55: What is something I disliked about today? How hot my room is 😫

56: If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be? Can I meet the entire cast to Game of Thrones????¿

57: What do I think about most? Anxiety

58: What’s my strangest talent? I have freakishly good aim

59: Do I have any strange phobias? Not that I can’t think of

60: Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? Uhhhh either

61: What was the last lie I told? Idfk

62: Do I perfer talking on the phone or video chatting online? No I HATE talking on the phone like there is a 99.9% chance I will never answer your phone calls lol

63: Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens? Yes/yes

64: Do I believe in magic? That is a diverse question

65: Do I believe in luck? No

66: What’s the weather like right now? Cool

67: What was the last book I’ve read? The first Game of Thrones

68: Do I like the smell of gasoline? Sure

69: Do I have any nicknames? Saku, Taychan, Tayla, Tay

70: What was the worst injury I’ve ever had? Either when I busted my eye open on the trampoline or when I broke my arm.

71: Do I spend money or save it? I ain’t got no money to do either 😅😅😅

72: Can I touch my nose with a tounge? Nope

73: Is there anything pink in 10 feets from me? My phone case.

74: Favourite animal? Cats, penguins, foxes, dragons, white tiger

75: What was I doing last night at 12 AM? Probably smoking lol

76: What do I think is Satan’s last name is? Homie

77: What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it? A lot of songs 😅

78: How can you win my heart? Don’t be fake. Be genuine.

79: What would I want to be written on my tombstone? “420 blaze it ayyyyyy lmao”

80: What is my favorite word? Fuck

81: My top 5 blogs on tumblr UGHHHHH idk, everyone ?

82: If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say? Fuck you.

83: Do I have any relatives in jail? Nah.

84: I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power? The power to shit out money whenever I please

85: What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on? ☺☺☺

86: What is my current desktop picture? I don’t have a computer but my phone background is Jon Snow lol

87: Had sex? Yep

88: Bought condoms? Yep

89: Gotten pregnant? Nope

90: Failed a class? Yep

91: Kissed a boy? Yep

92: Kissed a girl? Yep

93: Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain? Yeeeeeep

94: Had job? Many

95: Left the house without my wallet? Always

96: Bullied someone on the internet? Never

97: Had sex in public? Yep

98: Played on a sports team? I am not athletic at all 😅

99: Smoked weed? Everyday. 😎

100: Did drugs? Ecstasy, acid

101: Smoked cigarettes? I quit 2 years ago 👐 I smoked for nearly a decade

102: Drank alcohol? I very very rarely drink.

103: Am I a vegetarian/vegan? Nope 🍗🍖

104: Been overweight? Probably

105: Been underweight? Probably

106: Been to a wedding? Yep

107: Been on the computer for 5 hours straight? Try 12+

108: Watched TV for 5 hours straight? Binge watching shows on Netflix 👍

109: Been outside my home country? No

110: Gotten my heart broken? Yep

111: Been to a professional sports game? No

112: Broken a bone? Both bones in my arm/wrist

113: Cut myself? No

114: Been to prom? No

115: Been in airplane? Many a times

116: Fly by helicopter? Nope

117: What concerts have I been to? 😅😅😅 so many! Chevelle, warped tour, extreme thing etc

118: Had a crush on someone of the same sex? Yep. More like a “damn I’d fuck u” crush lol

119: Learned another language? I was taking Japanese in college

120: Wore make up? All the time

121: Lost my virginity before I was 18? Lost it @ 15 a month before my 16th birthday

122: Had oral sex? 😘

123: Dyed my hair? Let’s just say I haven’t had my natural hair color since I was like 13

124: Voted in a presidential election? I voted… But didn’t vote for either of them so

125: Rode in an ambulance? A few times

126: Had a surgery? Yep

127: Met someone famous? YEP Laura Bailey, Mary Elizabeth Mcglynn Johnny Young Bosch etc 😍

128: Stalked someone on a social network? We all do a little creepin’

129: Peed outside? Oh yes

130: Been fishing? Yep

131: Helped with charity? Yep

132: Been rejected by a crush? Yep 😧

133: Broken a mirror? I don’t think so??

134: What do I want for birthday? I want to go to Oregon. But I also want my medical card lol

135: How many kids do I want and what will be their names? I have 3 cat kids now and their names are Yuki, Kittler and Arya

136: Was I named after anyone? Some country singer 😐

137: Do I like my handwriting? Not really

138: What was my favourite toy as a child? My puffy (stuffed bear thing I still have actually lol)

139: Favourite Tv Show? GAME OF THRONES

140: Where do I want to live when older? Oregon

141: Play any musical instrument? Violin, little bit if piano. Havent played either in years tho

142: One of my scars, how did I get it? I got drop kicked on a trampoline when I was younger and had to get stitched right under my left eyebrow, you can still see the scar.

143: Favourite pizza toping? PINEAPPLE BITCHES 🖕🖕🖕🖕

144: Am I afraid of the dark? No

145: Am I afraid of heights? Not really

146: Have I ever got caught sneaking out or doing anything bad? Lol yes 😂 One time I snuck out @ like midnight and my Mom just so happened to be driving down the same street and picked my ass up and took me home LOL. I snuck back out when she left again.

147: Have I ever tried my hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end? Who hasn’t?

148: What I’m really bad at Wow, a lot of shit 😅😅😅 Dealing/talking with people is my worst probably. I’m bad at math and being an adult

149: What my greatest achievments are My art

150: The meanest thing somebody has ever said to me Don’t wanna talk about it

151: What I’d do if I won in a lottery Buy a house in Oregon.

152: What do I like about myself I guess my drawing skills. And loyalty.

153: My closest Tumblr friend Don’t have tumblr friends yo

154: Something I fantasise about Yo mama

155: Any question you’d like 👉👌