#theuselesscarmilla

[sleuthllis]

“ will you ever forgive me? ”

     She frowned, concerned, baffled. “Do you even need to ask?” Forgiveness was a tricky concept that Laura wasn’t always so adept at conveying, her stubborn nature making it all too easy to hold a grudge, but with Carmilla…

“Always.” 

[summersxldier]

To who it may concern

I don’t even know how to begin this. I can’t get into my laura account (hollis-in-horrorland) so I am praying that by tagging this with the old usernames it reaches the right people.

This is overall just an apology. I’ve hurt so many people for no reason other than wanting to belong somewhere and to someone.

For a long time I was unmedicated, or diagnosed improperly and this isn’t an excuse but a realization of just how poorly i treated so many people. 

I’m really hoping I’m not overstepping boundaries or hurting anyone by trying to reach out and find you to give you this apology and if I am I’m so fucking sorry. I owe apologies though and I’m just really hoping it reaches the right people, I’m hoping more than anything else in this world it reaches two or three people specifically.

Steph (theuselesscarmilla), I’ve reached out before through someone else and while that apology was sincere I don’t think I’d actually understood the damage I did. And the worst part is I didn’t even mean half of what I said when I said it, it just felt so good to have someone so close when I felt so horrifyingly alone and I took advantage of that on the deepest level and it’s disgusting. I want nothing more than to take it all fucking back and I know I can’t and that’s not even what hurts the most. What kills me is knowing how much I hurt you, how I refused to see your side at the time because I was broken. I’m sick to my stomach thinking about it every single fucking time and I wish so bad that I got to say how sorry I was before it was too late. It was the worst thing I think I could have done to anyone. You were my best friend, and I hate that I sacrificed that just so that I could temporarily not feel so alone. I don’t know WHY you’ve been on my mind the last three days, I can only assume it’s due to me obsessively watching WandaVision remembering she was your favorite. But overall I hope you’re happy, I hope that life’s been better to you, I hope this finds you only if it won’t hurt you. You were everything I needed but I was never truly there for you. I was an awful friend to you. I’m sorry. Sarah (girlthehellup), our friendship was absolutely destroyed at my own inability to think for myself. I had this person that freshly entered my life tell me how to interpret the things you said, how you spoke to me. And literally for no other reason than my own inability to trust my gut. I had a habit of being most comfortable when people told me what to think and do, and I fell right back into that trap for someone who didn’t have good intentions for me whatsoever. I miss our friendship so much because it was the first friendship where I felt I was doing everything right for once, and then I let that asshole’s voice get into my head about every single thing. And I don’t mean for that to come off as me blaming her, I was the one that chose to listen despite knowing you better. I shouldn’t have done that, and if you see this I truly hope that you’re doing okay, that you have your own pet goat, and that you’ve left that shitty town by now.

Sam (elvirxarchive), You gave me the tough love that I absolutely needed and didn’t want to hear. Just like with Sarah I let someone else get in my head. You were going through hell and I just...I didn’t even try to consider that whenever we talked. I didn’t even try to understand or help or anything. I think I still have the drawing you did when I couldn’t move my legs and refused to go to the doctors. I’m sure its somewhere. I definitely still have the youtube video up of us playing prop hunt! I regret so much letting that stupid fucking snake in my head because you nor sarah deserved for me to just give up on trusting you. It wasn’t worth it, I hope you can forgive me for bailing and letting that happen. Letting someone gaslight and manipulate everything just so she could isolate me and make my entire life about her to be at her beck and call.

I miss all of you, and for whatever reason this has been on my mind so damn much. I don’t know if it’s a divine timing deal or what, but I’m hoping that I still have a chance to make it right, and to make amends because the universe knows you all deserve that more than fucking anything.

If, and this is a big if as I know that I fucked up, any of you would like to try and talk again, or get a less public apology my socials are below. I’m hoping people don’t take advantage of this. You can also use it to block me of course, I’d understand that as well. I’m just hoping for a chance to do right. Cammie/Camden (I go by Connor now tho) Tumblr/Twitter/TikTok: Lostboyfritz Discord: LostBoyFritz#0655

[ihrsternn-blog]

@theuselesscarmilla cont from x

“ you look as if you have seen a GHOST , my love . of course I am not afraid. even if you did have the teeth of a fierce WOLF or CAT i would still love you the same . “ She said, striding closer to Carmilla. her eyes stayed  f o c u s e d�� on the woman’s fangs . they didn’t appear to be fake yet they couldn’t be real -- could they? reaching a soft hand out, Elle gingerly ran her fingertips across Carmilla’s cheek, drawing her in closer to her . “ may i see THEM ? “

[perrynormalisms-blog]

" Are you really trying to stage an intervention? Well, good luck, Cindy Lou. "

【❥℗】— @theuselesscarmilla & @girlthehxllup

   ❝ Well, aren’t you worried that at the rate she’s going she’ll get scurvy, too? ❞  

[runawaybun]

“Wait, are you actually scared?”

send things to a 🐰: trick or treat~

They roll their eyes and audaciously scoffs at the question directed at them. “Scared? Yeah, right. It takes way more than some dark, dusty house to scare me.” They continue walking forward, an uppity confidence into their steps as if they had no care or worry at all. Or maybe it was just their puffed out exterior, simply making a show to conceal any goosebumps hidden underneath. “Maybe you’re just asking me that cause you’re in fact scared. It’s cool if you are, isn’t being scared part of the appeal of these places?”

[overachievrs-blog]

           "Look at you all...human...Kitty Cat. Tell me, how does it feel to be human again?"

@theuselesscarmilla

[cuvari-blog]

HC + family ( for Laura )

family?

in the novel, laura’s mother is described as a styrian lady — and while i know abiding by that isn’t technically a headcanon, i’m taking it one step further.

laura’s mom, mrs hollis, was pretty patient, calling sherman’s overprotectiveness endearing rather than a pest. the only reason, or one of the reasons (because laura had several well argued points as to how she’d be allowed to attend university out of town) was that mrs hollis attended silas many, many years ago. it’s safe to assume she didn’t tell sherman much about it, and that his soft spot for his wife’s memory contributed to the wildly risky (although he wouldn’t have known it at the time) aspect of letting laura attend silas.

how they met? she was “bear” hunting and he was hiking. sherman’s scout-like tendencies to carry bear repellant made an otherwise really awkward situation surprisingly hilarious. 

[tallandbronzed]

@theuselesscarmilla

▌               ➸    ●  ♘                “ LISTEN ,           i don’t want to be here     just as much as you don’t want me here     but someone has to DO something  -- &                                               i’m TRYING to help. “ 

[imjustsmol]

post TEN characters you’d like to roleplay as, have roleplayed as, or might bring back, then tag ten people to do the same. ( If you can’t think of ten characters, just write down however many you can. )

PLEASE REPOST INSTEAD OF REBLOGGING!

CURRENTLY PLAYING:

beca mitchell ( pitch perfect ) / low activity, but very much active

cheryl blossom ( riv.erdale ) @chaosblossomed

chloe price ( life is strange ) @firewalkcd

carmilla karnstein ( carmilla ) / semi hiatus @theuselesscarmilla

HAVE PLAYED:

elphaba thropp ( wicked ) / technically on hiatus but...

nessarose thropp ( wicked )

erin gilbert ( ghostbusters )

sameen shaw ( person of interest )

darla ( buffy the vampire slayer / angel )

audrey jensen ( scream )

lorelai gilmore ( gilmore girls )

clary fray ( shadowhunters )

peggy carter ( mcu )

chanel #3 / sadie swenson ( scream queens )

MIGHT COME BACK:

audrey jensen

WOULD LIKE TO PLAY:

wynonna earp

tagged by: @hadshrimp tagging: anyone who wants to do this tbh

[cosmosiism]

🏚️

creepy Halloween starters  — accepted

She knew this would be a bad idea, as soon as she had step foot in that house, not only did it give her the creeps, but there was also something off about it. Call it, her six sense or maybe even her vampirism, that seemed to have developed more over the years to a point, she could not only hear things more clearly but also feel presences. She definitely felt another presence in the room. She knew it wasn’t Carmilla, since she was right beside her, holding a flashlight so they could at least see where they were going. With how old this place was she highly doubted there were even lights able to actually work. A thud, head snapping in the direction of the shorter girl, a raised brow, if she thought this hadn’t been a good idea from the start now she was even more sure. ❛ Okay, so clearly you weren’t the one that did that so what the –  ❜ Another sound, this time something seemed to be floating in the air, as the summer looked dumbfounded by what she had seen.  ❛ Um, hey, Karnstein, please tell me you’re seeing this. The book is floating, right? It’s actually – in the air? Just chilling. Okay. This should be an interesting night.  ❜ @theuselesscarmilla 

[sleuthllis]

⚰️

@theuselesscarmilla​ | meme status: selective. ↪ ⚰️: explore a cemetery at night.

         It wasn’t the moonless night sky or endless sea of carved stone that had her on edge, but rather the total absence of sound; the insects were silent, no buzzing or chirping and the howling winds had stilled the second they’d stepped foot onto hollowed ground. Laura huffed, desperate to break the quiet but half convinced anything louder might wake the dead. “Suspenseful silence foreshadowing our doom: check.”

[ihrsternn-blog]

@theuselesscarmilla

           “ WELL now isn’t this fun. POOR little  h u m a n  CARMILLA and vampire ELL . or ARE you human ? if so i could go for a late night  d r i n k . “

[perrynormalisms-blog]

【❥℗】— @theuselesscarmilla liked for a starter

   ❝ It’s just a simple check-up. We just want to make sure there aren’t any NEW surprises with your...spark... ❞ 

[runawaybun]

@theuselesscarmilla continued from 🌠🌠

[ text ]: leave the hornets nest alone and find something else to poke, cupcake. [ text ]: or get slowly digested. your call.

[text]: something else? you mean like a bear? that sounds like a real great idea! know if there are any bears around here? [text]: but you gotta admit those pics looked really nice yeah???!

[cosmosiism]

‘be careful.’ ( danny )

different ways to say ‘i love you’ — Accepted

❛ You actually want me to remain in the world of the living? – Well, color me shocked, Karnstein. ❜ She would be lying, if she said she wasn’t taken aback by the words that fell from the other’s lips, she didn’t necessarily expect it, mostly because ever since she was brought back to life, she had been told time after time, that nobody cared about her, as soon as she had died she was long forgotten, for awhileshe had allowed herself to believe that to be true, unawarethat maybe, just maybe someone did give a shit about her. Apparently, Carmilla gave a shit if she was still around or not, if she was safe or not. ❛ What’s the worse thing that could happen? It ain’t like I can get any deader? Do me a favor, alright? Make sure you stay away from imminent death.  ❜ Was she implying she wanted nothing bad to happen to her? Maybe. @theuselesscarmilla

[sleuthllis]

// Sooo I'm late to the party here, but there really aren't enough words to describe how much I love your blog, or how beautiful your writing is, or how you manage to capture Laura's voice ( and Elise's, too ) so well. You really don't give yourself anywhere near enough credit for how amazing you are, and I wish you would, because you are so deserving of all the praise you get and more. I'm the one who is not worthy!

@theuselesscarmilla | meme status: accepting.   

     Whatever ability I might have, I owe in large part to you! The quality of your writing made me up my game, inspired me to pour so much more thought into my replies. I’m actually really self conscious about how I depict Laura and am ridiculously flustered that you think so well of my portrayal. I don’t remember clearly how we got to talking to one another, but I am so glad we did. I’m not sure I could carry on with this character without you.