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#theswedishblonde
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morning after. // gwilym lee
posted: august 12, 2019
genre: tooth-rotting fluff
words: 745
setting: y/n and gwil’s bedroom the morning after the oscars
warning/s: none really? probably bad grammar and spelling, but then who cares
playlist/based on:
- the beautiful dream (george ezra)
authors note: so this is a quite old piece which i once uploaded and then removed, but now i’ve edited it a bit so it’s way more readable than before. i’m also working on another joe angst fic which should be done in 1-2 days, but the gwirst has really been feeling itself for a couple of days now if you get what i mean.
ah, the beauty of mornings. slow rays of sunlight made its way through the breezy curtains, casting an ethereal-like glow over this complete mess that once upon a time used to be called a bedroom. clothes from last night were spread all over the floor not bothered to be taken care of. your quite expensive and beautiful dress- thrown haphazardly into a corner. gwilym’s three piece suit- scattered piece by piece, all over the floor.
it was the morning after the oscars, which was the main cause of all this mess. you and gwilym had stumbled right into apartment in the early hours of the morning, all giddy and happy and very, very tired after several hours of dancing and partying to classics, celebrating bohemian rhapsody and rami’s victory at the oscars.
he holds you close, almost impossibly so, to his chest, his body, almost as if he was afraid of letting you go. being too exhausted from last night, he didn’t care to pull the curtains when they went to bed, which he silently cursed himself for as he slowly stirred from a well-needed sleep. but what a sight for sore, tired eyes it was to wake up like this, with you, in his arms, in his bed. your impossibly messy hair, falling in curls that stood out in every angle from your head, the faded stretch marks on the curve of your hip, the soft dip of your waist. he felt the heat radiating from your warm body as he pulled you even closer to him, pressing the softest of kisses to your neck, making you groan in your sleep. as he ghosted his long, slender fingers across your spine, he thought about how lucky and grateful he was for getting to wake up next to this beautiful, brilliant human being next to him. as cliché as it sounds, he felt like he could stay like this for forever and ever.
somewhere, very deep in your sleep, you felt a pair of fingers that traced shapes and circles all over your back and a pair of soft lips that pressed feathery kisses all over your neck. slowly, you fluttered your eyes open, which you regretted very fast as you was blinded by the golden sunlight, making you groan. it was also then when you realized how warm you were as you felt a thin layer of gross sweat cover your skin. ah, the beauty of mornings. you shifted out of his arms, burying your face in his neck instead; somewhere in the state of not being asleep, but still not awake.
“i feel like a goddamn radiator”, you sleepily mumbled into his chest, making him chuckle, a deep rumbly sound, echoing through your ears.
“good morning to you too, cariad”, he murmured, drowsily placing a kiss in your hair.
“slept well?”, you asked.
“well, i see that i have sheet marks on my arms, so i suppose so, yes”, he joked. “no, but seriously, i haven’t slept this well for a long time. having you in my arms only added to that experience.”
you stayed like that, arms and legs all entangled for a while, not saying anything, only listening to each other’s steady breathing. as much as you loved to be the little spoon, you felt yourself getting sweatier and sweatier, warmer and warmer. not wanting to ruin the moment, you shifted ever so slowly out of his arms and tried to get out of bed.
“gwil, i could stay like this the whole day, but i’m actually feeling like a human radiator and your arms doesn’t really help the situation.”
“nu-huh, you’re staying here”, he yawned as he pulled you back into his arms again, pressing the most tender of kisses on your lips. 
“what about the clothes on the floor, then?”, you sighed.
“screw them. i’ll take care of them later.”, he breathed in-between kisses.
“do tell me, when exactly is later?, you shot back at him as you pressed a finger to his lips, pushing his face away from you, much to his dismay. 
“well, if you first will let me have you my way, i can take care of them after that”, he huskily whispered onto your finger.
“hurry up then. i don’t want my dress to be completely ruined”, you said.
“please shut up and kiss me”, he said as he flipped you over onto your back, making you giggle in return.
ah, the beauty of mornings.
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imaginationlane · 7 years
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Hi! Can I give you some advice on the Swedish phrases? ”Lyssna mamma, jag kan inte hjälpa det” can/should be put like this: ”Mamma, lyssna, jag kan inte rå för det” (There aren’t really a translation for this phrase, but we say this in Sweden a LOT) And ”Han kommer snart vara här” can also be put (in a more correct way, like Swedes would talk) like this: ”Han är här snart” (which means ”he will be here soon”) I hope it isn’t too blurry to read, anyway thank you for an amazing story! xx
Okay for everyone wondering what the hell I was raving about, it was this lol.@theswedishblonde - Your ask wasn’t too difficult, it was spot on and perfect. I’ve went ahead and made the suggested corrections. Do not be surprised if I hit you up in the future asking for more tips lol. Thank you so very much
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milkchu · 5 years
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❝anyway the wind blows❞ ♔ fifteen. [final]
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Summary: (Y/N) Mercury’s journey of love, fame, and pain, alongside what would become one of the most legendary bands ever, Queen.
Pairing: Borhap!Queen x Reader, Brian May x Reader
Warnings: none really, just a really tiny mamma mia reference (i couldn’t help it) and a little surprise.
⇦ previous chapter // series masterlist // end.
July 13, 1985
It’s 12 noon in London, 7AM in Philadelphia,
And around the world, It’s time for LIve Aid.
“Ready, (Y/N)?” Brian sent you a soft smile, resting his hand on your knee. You slowly breathed in and out, looked to Brian at your side and said, “Ready.”
After getting out of the car, you both walked towards the house you haven’t been in for a long time, Brian following behind you while his hand rested itself on your shoulder, trying to make you relax.
In front of the door, you turn your back to look at Brian, who sends you a soft, reassuring smile and a nod, before taking a deep breath and ringing the doorbell.
After a few moments, you heard shuffling steps behind the door before it was opened, revealing your aunt.
“(Y/N)?”
“Hi, auntie.”
Then finally bringing you into a deep, warm hug.
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In the living room, both your aunt and your cousin, Poppy, who probably know of you and Brian’s… thing, have been laughing and chatting with Brian, whilst you stood in front of the piano, looking at a framed picture of your mother. 
It was a picture of your mother in one of her extremely flamboyant stage outfits, behind her you could see two other figures, wearing similar outfits, probably her friends, Roxy and Tessa? You couldn’t remember their names anymore.
Meanwhile, your uncle simply sat on his usual chair in the living room, carefully sipping on his mug of tea.
Your eyes then landed on the wall clock, revealing that it was almost time for you to go to Wembley. “Bri and I have to go.”
Your auntie replied, “But you just got here, sweetheart!”
“What do you mean, ‘go?’” Your uncle suddenly stood up.
“We’ve gotta get to Wembley,” You grabbed Brian’s hand, gesturing for him to stand up, “We’re all doing our bit for the starving children in Africa, and nobody’s taking any money.”
Your uncle then slowly walked towards you, a million things running through his mind but he couldn’t seem to say it out loud.
You sent him a soft smile, “Good thoughts, good words, good deeds. Just like you taught me, Uncle.”
He didn’t say anything but just simply pulled you in for a tight hug, “Your mother would be so proud of you,” He whispered, his voice almost breaking.
You let out a soft chuckle before pulling away, firmly patting your uncle’s shoulder.
“Love you, darling,” Your aunt said, tears coming through her eyes.
“Bye Pops. Love you too, auntie.”
Before finally walking out the door with Brian.
“Poppy… put on the telly.”
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Sitting in the little trailer, you sat beside Brian, who was currently playing some tunes on his guitar until he put it down, replacing it with your hand instead.
Deacy squinted, before pointing between Brian and yourself, “You two?”
You looked towards Brian, who softly stroked your hand with his thumb, before simply sending Deacy a knowing look.
“Knew it,” Roger added, each and every one of you letting out some laughs, until a knock came from the door.
It opened, revealing Matthew and his wife, Daisy. “Hello, Matthew,” Brian smiled.
“Hi, Brian, we just came to wish you good luck.”
“Hello, darling,” You smiled at them, before leaning down to kiss his cheek, giving Daisy a soft hug afterwards.
As soon as Matthew saw your hand place itself inside Brian’s, he immediately sent you a knowing smile.
“I’ll see you after,” You said to them, before Matthew nodded and left with Daisy.
Closing the door, you sat back down, sighing, “What do we think of Daisy?”
“She seems nice.”
“I think she’s into me,” You joked, before looking over to Brian, who was jokingly shaking his head.
“I know everyone is probably in love with me already but I think you’re the only one I have fallen for, darling,” You squeezed Brian’s hand.
Cue fake gagging sounds from Roger and Deacy.
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When you’ve all been finally called in, your heart thumped faster with every step you took towards that stage. 
Standing in front of the entrance, you turned back to your three best friends.
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“Her Majesty… Queen!”
Walking towards the middle of the stage, you let your ears go deaf from all the cheers and whistles from the seemingly endless crowd, waving your arm around for them, before finally walking to the piano and sat down.
Letting your fingers do a few tunes before you start, you looked at everyone around you.
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John. Roger. Brian.
Miami. Matthew.
And finally, upwards. Mum.
“Mama… just killed a man…”
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Hertfordshire, 2017
Brian watched as the (H/C) haired girl on stage moved and danced around, following the movement director in front of her. Moving so much like you.
It took a lot of work and convincing to finally be able to do this project, but he knew he had to. He had to tell the entire world the story of one of the greatest and influential women in history.
When the practice run had ended, everyone clapped their hands together at the cast, as Joe, Ben, and Gwilym bowed down together with the panting, but grinning actress.
Brian clapped along, almost wanting to shed a tear because it was like he relived that moment back in 1985 again. Feeling a pat on his back, he already knew who it was.
“She would be so proud of you, dad.”
Brian let out a soft sniffle, “I know, Freddie. I know,” receiving another pat from his son.
As soon as Brian looked up to the sky to try and rid of his incoming tears, a car came driving through the airfield. A car he knew all too well.
Once the car had stopped, a man in a black suit stepped out of the driver’s seat and opened the door to the backseat before a heel clad foot stepped down.
“Sorry, I’m late, darlings.”
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a/n: and that ends atwb. or is it? (tbh i would love to do some more stuff from this series like some blurbs so i might post some in the future. pls do send in some ideas if you’d like!) THANK YOU EVERYONE FOR SUPPORTING THIS SERIES. I WOULDN’T HAVE DONE IT WITHOUT YOU GUYS. I FUCKING LOVE YOU ALL.
tags: @b-hardys // @hunterswearingplaid // @livingforrt // @bensrhapsody // @jennyggggrrr // @little-weirdo-13 // @kemeryyyy // @yoonlatte // @geek-and-proud // @everything-you-dont-wanna-be // @itsametaphorbriansblog // @marequeenii // @killer-queen-xo // @jedi-dreea // @achernarsaa // @nevaeh-potter15 // @banana-tree-freddiemercury // @rogertaylorssunglasses // @pyrotechnic789 // @mirkwoodshewolf // @stuff-exists // @toger-raylor // @langdonzvoid // @imamazzellhoe // @tbird20165 // @destiel-stucky4ever-loki-queen // @theswedishblonde // @oliviaharddyy // @sunflower-borhap-boys // @rocknrollsavedmysoul13 // @sincereleygmg // @mylifeissucky123 // @teenwolflover28 // @perrythefrickinplatypus // @deakysmisfire // @simonedk // @rockyroadthepastryarchy // @warren-lauren // @sarai-ibn-la-ahad // @danny-fucking-mercury // @destiel-stucky4ever-loki-queen // @gracelynn318 // @sargent-barnes // @anonymouse-not-so-anonymous // @leah-halliwell92 // @captainlarsonn
*i couldn’t tag some of you for some reason :/
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tessimagines · 6 years
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Can you please add me to the ”What have we done” list? It’s amazing!!
Sure, lovely! Not a problem :)
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somebody else. // joe mazzello
request by @deakyclicks: “Loved your recent!! Could you write some angst with Joe about the reader finding out he cheated while on press tour? Hc maybe?”
posted: august 12, 2019
genre: angst
words: 645, its a baby
setting: the aftermath of cheating
warning/s: bad writing? bad grammar? some swearing
playlist/based on:
- blue in green (miles davis)
- somebody else (the 1975)
authors note: soooo, here’s more joe angst for ya. i’m not really pleased with how this one turned out, but it’s better than nothing and I really wanted to finish it. as always, feedback is appreciated, i really want to improve my writing. also, requests are open!
“were you ever going to tell me?” you croaked out, your voice barely a whisper above the miles davis record playing in the background. he dropped his knife and fork on his plate, looking down, too afraid, ashamed and angry of himself to meet your gaze. he knew exactly what you were talking about, there was no point in denying it.
“do you know what’s even more humiliating? look at me while i’m talking to you!”, you snapped, making him look straight into your eyes, his oh-so-beautiful hazel eyes full of regret, brimming with tears.
“that i heard it from gwilym, one of your best friends, and the fucking fact that you didn’t tell me!”, you snarled, tears slowly streaming down your face.
it was true. you heard it from gwilym yesterday when you all were out together celebrating, since the boys had come home from the bohemian rhapsody press tour, he, joe, had been acting weirdly all night, as if he was hiding something from you. he, gwilym, had in turn been acting weirdly all night too, as if he was hiding something from you as well. when he finally got the chance to be with you alone, he pulled you over to the bar, making you sit down on the ratty chairs.
“y/n, i need to tell you something.”, his voice cracked.
“gwil, what’s the matter?”, you looked at him, becoming more worried and worried for every passing second.
he took a deep breath. “look, i can’t hold it back anymore. i-i’ve known for weeks now, i need-i have to tell you. joe...h-he slept...he cheated on you while on press tour.”
the memory played like a movie in your mind, over and over again, like it was mocking you, making your head spin, with anger, with sorrow. at first, you couldn’t believe it: your adorably dorky Joe, who could make you cry of laughter for hours, who would cook often very disastrous three-course dinners for you, who randomly would take you to Paris for the weekend, whom you could share all your darkest parts of your mind at 3 am with. that Joe, didn’t exist anymore for you anymore, instead, what was left was just Joe, who carelessly brought some blue-eyed floozy of a journalist into his bed, just because he felt lonely and missed you while on press tour.
“tell me”, you looked straight into his eyes, daring him to do the same. “why?”
he remained silent this whole time, not saying anything at all, he simply didn’t know what to say, being too ashamed of the person he had becomed, a cheater. truth to be told, he had no reason whatsoever for why he cheated.
“i-i’m so fucking sorr-”, he finally uttered, only to be interrupted by you:
“i know exactly from experience what you’re going to say. just give me one perfectly good fucking reason why you cheated on me, or leave.”, your voiced cracked, betraying you, making your voice shaking with tears.
“it meant nothing” he croaked out.
“nothing? imagine what it means to me!”
your relationship were always strained by joe going away for sometimes months without seeing each other, but the two of you always managed to pick the pieces up of your relationship and slowly nurture it back to health, as it always had been before he went away, except for this time. this time, the wounds wouldn’t, couldn’t mend, and the pieces remained broken, unmendable.
the record stopped playing, as if on queue. and that, was when you realized you couldn’t stay.
you stood up, the only hearable sounds in the living room being your and joe’s steady breathing, making him do the same. you walked over to his lanky frame, facing him. you pressed the softest of kisses to his lips as you looked into his brown eyes, breathed out a “goodbye, joe”. and then, you left.
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someday, my pain. joe mazzello
posted: july 22 2019
words: 922
setting: the aftermath of a breakup.
warning: anGST, brief mention of sex, a tad of swearing
playlist/based on:
- the wolves (act 1 & 2) by Bon Iver
authors note: ouch, this hits close to home, it’s quite personal. anyway, probably loads of grammatical errors, very sorry. also, it’s very angsty. despite that, please enjoy. xx S
someday, my pain
someday my pain will mark you
harness your blame
harness your blame and walk through
waking up alone was the worst of it all. no, he corrected himself, the worst was going to sleep alone. during the day he could at least, he had to for the sake of his job, distract himself from the pain of his broken heart by acting out someone else’s story, all dressed in a wig and clothes that didn’t belong to him, speaking in a different accent that disguised the person he truly was, a simple man in hurting, with a heart shattered by a woman’s few actions. it was more than shattered, it was shattered to tiny, tiny particles, shattered to the point where his body and mind hurt whenever she entered his thoughts.
solace my game
solace my game, it stars you
swing wide your crane
swing wide your crane and run me through
she walked straight into his life with a spark of fire to her, bringing new life to his apartment, making it feel alive within her presence. now, when she was gone, it felt empty. cold, as if someone blew out a candle. when he came home from a long tiresome day of filming, the first thing he would do was to sink down in his old leather armchair, staring into the empty blank void of the wall, all alone with only himself and his own thoughts. he wondered; everytime she huskily had declared her love for him, everytime she would plant the most tender of kisses to his lips in the morning, everytime she would curl just a bit closer to him in the middle of the night, was it all just pretend? if it wasn’t pretend, then what was it?
and the story’s all over you
it had all started one day when she came home one evening after what she called “working late”. she started to do that, “working late” more often and often, but as the naive, dumb, hopelessly-in-love man he was, he didn’t suspect anything. he didn’t suspect anything until that night. that night, it all cracked to pieces. he had come home earlier from a dreadfully boring press tour than he said he would, to surprise her, to make her happy. screw happy. he came home only to find her in your shared bed fucking someone else into your shared mattress. 
as the memories of them together came alive to his mind once again, he felt hot tears streaming down his face, like lukewarm water running through a crane. he remembered it vividly: he stood on the threshold of the door, bag in hand with a blank expression to his face, too shocked to react. he wanted to say something, but he couldn’t. he wanted to scream, but he couldn’t. because, the only thing he felt was pain: a knife-sharp pain that broke his heart to pieces, a burning-like flame that raged wild in his heart.
completely silent, he just dropped his large bag onto the wooden floor, and it landed with a loud thud, interrupting the pair. he remembered the rest of the encounter in a haze-like state that just passed by. of course, the guy had a body toned like an ancient greek god, like someone taken straight from a fancy magazine. he barely remembered what she said to him as she left their apartment, if she even said something at all. the only thing he remembered was the look the guy gave him as he pushed by him through the door; it said everything and nothing at the same time.
what might have been lost (don’t bother me)
he stayed like that, in his old leather chair for a while, just staring into the blank wall as the tears streamed down his face, staining his cheeks. he allowed himself to cry for a while, then he had to move on. he allowed himself to think about her for a while, then he had to move on. he allowed himself to dwell i the memories of their lost love for a while, then he had to move on. he had to move on.
as the seconds and minutes went by, he felt a desperate need to take a shower, almost as if he wanted to wash away the pain of the memories, so he did. he stood there under the drain, just letting the warm water cascade down his body, too tired, too exhausted to even move. as he turned off the drain, standing there, warm soft skin against cold hard tile, he dreaded to face the fact that he was going to fall asleep alone. despite that, he forced himself out of the shower and desperately tried to push away the thought of her, but he failed over and over again. who could blame him?
when he brushed his teeth and unmade his bed, the only thing he reminded himself of was how much he didn’t need her. he didn’t need her and all her lies, he had to move on now.
someday, my pain
someday, my pain
someday, my pain
someday, my pain
he woke up the morning after, alone. he went to work as usual, acted out someone else’s story, dressed up in his wig and the clothes that didn’t belong to him as usual. he distracted himself from the pain of his broken heart, as usual. his life still went on as usual, yet he couldn’t get used to living it without her by his side.
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Brian and Reader both shop at the same music store and clearly find each other attractive. But there both too shy to talk to each other.
I hope I did this justice. 😬 Let’s pretend it’s the 70s. And he’s not famous yet.
(Italic sections are from his POV.)
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You didn’t need another record, but still you come to the shop, same time as every week. Tuesday at 1:59. You were always there first, that way you could make sure you didn’t seem too obvious. You took your place in the back by the jazz records - that’s always where you’d start. You didn’t even listen to jazz before you bought all of these jazz albums – at last count you now own 7 – because you didn’t want to seem too obvious.
You check your watch. 2:02. He always walks in at 2:01 but he’s not here yet. Maybe he’s running late. Maybe he’s not coming. Your heart sinks a little. If he doesn’t show up it’ll be the first Tuesday you don’t see him in two months. Two months, and you don’t even know his name.
2:03. Clearly he’s not coming, so you walk over to the rock section, where he usually goes but you never do because you don’t want to be too obvious.
Wait. There he is. 2:05. He’s late. His eyes see yours the second he walks in. And he smiles that smile that people smile when they know you, but they don’t know you. You’re a familiar face. They’ve seen you around. Or in this case, he’s seen you in this record store every Tuesday around 2:00 for the last two months. He’s beautiful. Tall – you always loved those really tall guys for some reason. And his hair? Completely chaotic, but it suits him and only adds to the quiet, mysterious vibe he gives off. And when he does that smile when he shows his teeth and his eyes light up when he talks? Your heart literally flutters. He’s never smiled at you like that, though. Because you’ve never spoken to him.
But now he’s walking in your direction. Shit. If you walk away now it’ll be too obvious that he makes you nervous. Turn around. Turn yourself around and at least look like you’re there to buy an album.
He’s standing right next to you now. You’ve never been this close to him. God, he smells good. Some odd leathery, woodsy mixed with what you think is patchouli but you can’t make it out. Whatever the combination is, it’s perfect. Just like he is. You subtly turn your head and … he’s already looking at you. And he’s smiling that toothy smile, so you smile back and he does this cute eye blinking thing before looking back at the records.
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He feels like a stalker. He knows that you walk into the record store at 1:59 every Tuesday afternoon. He watches from across the street, just to make sure you show up, because he really doesn’t need another record, but he comes because he knows you’ll be here. He looks forward to Tuesday afternoons.
You’re always there when he walks in at 2:01 – purposely timed so he’s not so obvious – standing by the jazz records. He’s not into jazz, but he wants to be, since you are. Maybe he’ll muster up the courage to go ask you for some recommendations. Today. Today he will. He’s talked himself into it. He’s going to walk in and he’s going to walk right over to you and ask you what he should listen to. It’s the perfect way to strike up a conversation.
He sees you. You’re walking down the sidewalk. He thinks you are the most beautiful person he’s ever seen in his life. Your hair, your face, your eyes, your lips, your body – perfect. No, not today. He’s not going to talk to you today. Not when you look like that, exceptionally beautiful today for some reason. He’ll wait until next week when he’s dressed better.
On second though, maybe he will. No, he will. He’s going to walk in there and go straight to you. There’s nothing to worry about. You smile at him so sweetly. There’s no way you’d be anything but nice. But what if you’re seeing someone? Surely someone as beautiful as you is seeing someone. Now he’s wondering why he’s even thinking about that. He needs to worry about actually speaking first.
Shit. He looks at his watch. It’s 2:05. He’s lost 4 whole minutes standing out here pacing around. With a deep breath, he heads across the street with confidence. He’s going to walk in, look to the back of the store so you don’t know he’s looking for you, and then he’ll turn left and head by your favorite section.
But when he walks in and looks to the back of the store, there you are, and the smile crosses his face on its own accord. He couldn’t help it. He never can. Now his plans have to change. Maybe since you’re in his section you’ll be the one needing recommendations. Maybe if he stands close enough you’ll talk to him. He’s not sure what perfume you’re wearing, but it’s very nice, and sexy. You’re even more beautiful from this close. Oh no, you caught him looking at you. At least you smiled and didn’t run away. He turns back to the records, trying to figure out what to do.
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This is silly. This has been going on for two months. Oh? You never noticed his hands before. You’ve never been this close to him before to notice them. Ok, enough of this. One of you has to say something. Anything at all. It doesn’t matter what it is. Something. Anything. But nothing comes out. You look over at him again. You can’t help it. He looks back at you. And you sneeze.
How graceful. How attractive. How embarrassing.
“Bless you,” he says with a chuckle.
“Thank you,” you chuckle in response.
You quickly turn back to the records, trying to pretend that didn’t even happen. There’s no recovering from this, so you do the only thing you know to do. You pick up the first thing your hand touches, because that’s what you’re going to buy so you can get out of here and go home to wallow in your embarrassment alone. There’s always next week, after all.
“I don’t think you’ll like that one,” he laughs, pointing at your choice. “It’s not jazz.” You look at him and you’re suddenly relieved. He’s blushing.
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He’s mortified. “It’s not jazz.” Of all the things he could have said, he said that. He could have said “it’s pretty heavy,” or even “it’s not very good.” Anything but “it’s not jazz.” Now you’re going to know he pays attention to what you buy; that he watches you when you’re in the store. He wants to sink into the ground and never come back up.
“I mean… It’s not…” He can’t even think of a way to recover. His words are stumbling.
You start to laugh and it’s making him even more uncomfortable. “Good. I’m tired of listening to jazz,” you tell him. Relief. That’s what he feels. Obviously you don’t know.
“It’s really not good,” he tells you. “I bought it last week.” Then you turn and put it back and start sifting through the others. He feels like an idiot. Now you’re not looking at him anymore. Clearly you know he’s been watching you. Surely you think he’s a creep.
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Your face is starting to flush now. You can feel it and if you look back at him he’s going to notice it. Calm down. Calm down. You want to say something else. His voice. You want to hear it again. You love his voice. Say something. Anything.
“Well? What’s good?” You look at him and you don’t know why, but he looks almost shocked that you’re still there. “You’re here every week so you must know what’s good.”
Great. Shit. Now he’s going to know…
He reaches over in front of you and flips through the records before pulling one out and handing it to you. “You’ll enjoy this one,” he smiles. “It’s a new favorite of mine.” That smile. You could look at that smile all day and not get tired of it. And you could listen to him talk all day like he’s doing right now, telling you all about the intricate details of the sound. He’s even going so far as telling you about his favorite tracks and why they’re his favorites. His face, already beautiful is even more beautiful. He’s beaming. And you’re standing there, smiling like an idiot as you listen to his passionate detailed review. “I’m sorry. I tend to over analyze everything,” he says when he’s finished, putting his hands in his pockets and starting to blush a little bit again.
“No! No, thank you,” you say. You don’t want him to crawl back in his shell. “I’ll get this one, thanks to your stellar review.” You hold out your hand. “I’m Y/N.” And when he takes your hand in his you swear you feel your entire body tingle.
“I’m Brian.” He’s smiling again. And you’re standing there and have no idea where to take this conversation now because you’re afraid of saying something stupid. He still hasn’t let go of your hand. You don’t mind. Not at all. “Would you like to go get a drink?” Of course you would. So just tell him you would. Maybe let go of his hand.
“Yeah,” you smile. “I’d like that.” Let. Go. Of. His. Hand.
He softly releases his gentle grip and nods his head for you to follow him. You put the record back and start to walk with him. “You’re not getting it?” he asks.
“I just remembered that I didn’t bring enough money with me,” you say. A little fib won’t hurt. Besides, you already have it at home.
“Ah,” he chuffs. “You can always get it when you come back next week.” He freezes, the embarrassment rushing back over his face, especially when you start giggling.
“And then maybe I can introduce you to some jazz.”
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(Permatags) @clogwearingspacepoodle @briansfatbottomgirl @culturefiendtrashqueen @jennyggggrrr @shutup-sorry @dontstopmemeow @letmelivetaylor @tommyleeownsme @ziggymay @drowseoftaylor @mariekuuuuuh @biscuit-barrel @givemequeen @luvborhap @quirkydeaky @capsparrowtara @vousmemanqueez @vanitysfairr @langdonzvoid @i-cant-hangout-im-drumming @thigh-your-mother-down @toomuchlove-willkillyou @lauravic @loveandbeloved29 @catch-a-deak @rogxrtaylxr
(Perma-Brian-tags) @rocknrollsavedmysoul13 @reedusteinrambles @theswedishblonde
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milkchu · 5 years
Text
❝anyway the wind blows❞ ♔ thirteen.
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Summary: (Y/N) Mercury’s journey of love, fame, and pain, alongside what would become one of the most legendary bands ever, Queen.
Pairing: Borhap!Queen x Reader, eventual Brian May x Reader
Warnings: just a hint of angst.
⇦ previous chapter // next chapter ⇨
“I’m not even hurt by the fact that she’s let me go as a friend. But you can only be there so much for a person.”
“And so, Mr. Prenter, all these stories about (Y/N) Mercury and her lovers… that there were so many. Is it really true?”
“Yes, it is. Her lovers were countless.”
You stare blank-faced at the television, thinking, of course he would do this. But, you didn’t care. Not even one bit.
“So, you really did see what was behind the mask?”
Not wanting to hear any more of it, you grabbed the telephone from the table beside you and dialed a number you should have before, “Hello?”
“Miami?” You said, almost croaking.
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Jim raised his brows up, definitely not expecting a phone call from you, “(Y/N)? How are you?”
“There was this Africa concert… that wants Queen to play. Is that still…”
“You mean Live Aid?” Jim leaned back in his chair, sighing, “They’ve announced all the bands, (Y/N). It’s too late.”
“I need… I need to reconnect with the mothership,” You said softly.
“(Y/N), they don’t want anything to do with you. They’re still very upset.”
Feeling your chest ache a little bit, you continued, “Maybe if you ask them… they would meet me. Tell them I want to talk. Just talk.”
Tears glossed over your eyes, you managed to let out, “We’re family.”
“You know, family have fights… all the time.”
“I can call.”
“Thank you… Jim.”
Looking back towards the television before ending the call, you heard the interviewer ask, “How would you describe her on the inside as a person?”
Paul scoffed, “For me, (Y/N) will always be this frightened little girl who’s afraid to be alone.”
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Next thing you know you were sitting on one of the seats in Miami’s office, tapping your fingers on the armrest, patiently waiting. For the first time.
You tried to occupy yourself and avoid the uncomfortable feeling in your stomach by fixing your hair, fiddling with the hem of your black dress, or adjusting your leather jacket.
You looked towards Miami, who was carefully watching you the whole time, “Where are they?”
“They’re late.”
Nodding at his sentence, you couldn’t help but let a small smile grace your lips, almost chuckling at the thought. But your thoughts were soon interrupted by knocks on the glass door.
You quickly let out a breath and adjusted your position, before looking up to the three, Brian coming in first. Miami greeted, “Hi, guys.”
“Jim,” Brian acknowledged before he looked towards you, his face unreadable. Though the sight of him, especially after not seeing him for so long, never fails to make your heart beat faster than normal. Roger came in after, a glare hidden under his sunglasses, while John simply looked at his feet.
“If anybody wants any tea, coffee, bladed weapons… just ask.”
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The three took their seats, Brian letting out a sigh as he sat nearest to you.
“So…” Miami started, “Who wants to go first?”
Staring at the coffee table, you spoke up, “I’ll start.”
“I’ve been hideous. I know that, and… I deserve your fury. I’ve been conceited, selfish…” You tried to look for more words but just decided on, “Well, an asshole, basically.”
“Strong beginning,” Roger retorted.
“Look, I’m happy to strip off my shirt and flagellate myself before you,” You said in a louder tone before saying softly, “Or rather, I could ask you a simple question.”
“I’m good with the flagellation.”
Ignoring Roger’s words, you let out a sigh, “What’s it gonna take for you all to forgive me?”
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“Is that what you want, (Y/N)?” Brian asked, “I forgive you? Is that it? Can we go now?”
You immediately shook your head, “No.” Everyone in the room now looking at you, puzzled, before you continued, “I went to Munich.”
“I hired a bunch of guys. I told them exactly what I wanted them to do and the problem was…” You looked at them, “they did it.”
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“No pushback from Roger. None of your rewrites,” You turned to Brian, then to John, “None of his funny looks,” a tight-lipped smile made its way to John’s face, Roger softly smiling at what you said, “I need my boys.” 
“I need you... and you need me.”
Hearing no response, you decided to lighten up the mood by patting Brian’s shoulder, letting out a chuckle, “Let’s face it. We’re not bad for four aging queens.” His face not changing.
“So, um, go ahead. Name your terms.”
Brian continued to stare at you before speaking up, “Could you give us a moment, please, (Y/N)?”
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Your smile fell, before slowly standing up, and walking out the door. Once you were out of the room, John asked Brian, “Why’d you do that?”
Brian shrugged, “I just felt like it.” The three of them letting out soft laughs.
Meanwhile, outside, both hands in your jacket pockets, leaning your back against the wall just beside Miami’s office, you stared at the floor, a million things going through your mind. Hearing the door open and close again, Miami walked towards you.
“They’ll be all right. They just need a bit of time.”
You continued to stare blankly at the floor, “What if I don’t have time?”
“What do you mean, (Y/N)?”
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Thankfully, for now, you didn’t have to tell him as John opened the door and stepped out, “You can come back in now, if you’d like.”
Sitting back down on your seat, Roger spoke up, “We decided… what did we decide?”
John sighed, “From now on… every song, no matter who wrote it, music, lyrics… it’s by Queen. Not one of us, just Queen. All the money, all the credits split four ways evenly.”
You nodded, “Done.”
“We have a problem with the people around you,” Roger added.
“Paul is out. I fired him.”
“On what pretext?”
“Villainy. What else?”
“Bob Geldof,” Miami spoke up, “I called to convince him to squeeze you guys into the lineup for the Live Aid concert but he wants an answer now. You have to make a decision. Every ticket is already sold.”
“A hundred thousand people at Wembley, hundred thousand people at JFK Stadium in Philadelphia. A global TV audience around the world of a hundred and fifty countries, thirteen satellites. The Olympics only had three.”
“We haven’t played together in years,” Roger started, “It’s kinda suicide to play again for the first time in front of millions.”
Brian corrected, “Try over one point five billion,” before he scoffed, “Who are these four dinosaurs? Where’s Madonna?”
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“It’s a twenty-minute set. Everyone gets the same,” Miami said, “Jagger, Bowie, Elton, McCartney, The Who, Led Zeppelin, Phil Collins, REO Speedwagon, Bob Dylan.”
“Certainly good company,” John said.
“Anybody who is anybody is doing this concert.”
“Look,” You spoke up, “All I know… is that if we wake up the day after this concert and we didn’t do our part… we’re going to regret it till the day we die.”
You didn’t know how, but you managed to contain yourself. Not in front of them. Not right now. Saying out in an almost shaky voice, “Please.”
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a/n: sorry for the short chapter, i think you all know what happens next and i just wanted the next part to be its own chapter since it’s very major!
tags: @b-hardys // @hunterswearingplaid // @livingforrt // @bensrhapsody // @jennyggggrrr // @little-weirdo-13 // @kemeryyyy // @yoonlatte // @geek-and-proud // @everything-you-dont-wanna-be // @itsametaphorbriansblog // @marequeenii // @killer-queen-xo // @jedi-dreea // @achernarsaa // @nevaeh-potter15 // @banana-tree-freddiemercury // @rogertaylorssunglasses // @pyrotechnic789 // @mirkwoodshewolf // @stuff-exists // @toger-raylor // @langdonzvoid // @imamazzellhoe // @tbird20165 // @destiel-stucky4ever-loki-queen // @theswedishblonde // @oliviaharddyy // @sunflower-borhap-boys // @rocknrollsavedmysoul13 // @sincereleygmg // @mylifeissucky123 // @teenwolflover28 // @perrythefrickinplatypus // @deakysmisfire // @simonedk // @rockyroadthepastryarchy // @warren-lauren // @sarai-ibn-la-ahad // @danny-fucking-mercury
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imaginationlane · 5 years
Text
The Assistant [Part 7 of ? // Bill Skarsgard x Reader Imagine]
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Warnings: Adult Language / Themes, Angst, Sexually Suggestive References & Minimal Gore References (in relation to a dream / nightmare sequence).
Author’s Notes:  Because I know that a lot of you have been waiting forever for this, I am back and I am so sorry for the wait. This chapter was supposed to be posted a little while ago, but I wanted to tweak it as this chapter will be important, and has major plot developments -- that will have an effect on future chapters. Plus, the wonderful, talented and amazing @andthereisawoman just recently created a new cover for this fic for me -- that I can’t stop marveling at! How wonderful is this new cover, guys? I’m in love, and I’ve officially found my forever cover lol. 
As for this chapter: I will say this, it opens up with a dream / nightmare sequence in Bill's POV -- and the nightmare sequence alone has given me the most hell with this chapter. You guys have no earthly idea how much of a fight that this one scene gave me, for an entire year lol. 
Also, the nightmare sequence sort of plays into the fact that Bill admitted shortly after the first IT movie came out, that he had nightmares for a few weeks after filming. While this nightmare will not be centric to the IT film in any way, I can say that the stress of playing such a complex character, and well... an affair, are heavily contributing factors in this scene in the story. 
Finally, I’d like to give a big “thank you” to @theswedishblonde for her time in translating several of these dialog lines into Swedish for me. I really and truly, couldn’t do this without their help, and I sincerely appreciate the time they afford to me, whenever I need their help! 
I’d also like to publicly thank @poeedamerons & @greenofallshades for literally putting up with my incessant back and forth on this nightmare sequence -- for the past year on Whatsapp lol. Also not tagged (because she’s not here on Tumblr), but no less important, Tav!
Musical Inspiration: I Still Wait For You by: XYLO
Missed the previous chapters and need to catch up? Please check out The Assistant -- Masterlist, here.
Summary:
A night out on the town for a few drinks, was all I had signed up for. But in reality… I got way more than I had ever bargained for when my boss and close personal friend, Bill Skarsgard, asked me to join him during a wrap party that the crew was hosting that night. In hindsight, I should have seen this coming. After all, we were both having issues in our own respective relationships and for some reason, we had found it easier to just confide in each other – rather than in our own significant others. Yet in the end, do the reasons ever truly matter when you begin an affair with your friend who also happens to be your boss? I often ask myself just how selfish could we be; he and I? The answer is: we’re completely selfish and neither of us really cares if this secret burns us alive – because it’s within each other, that we have finally found the things we had been looking for the whole time…
___
Stockholm, Sweden --
Feather-light kisses sprinkled themselves carelessly, all over Bill's shoulders and chest, as he began to stir out of his sleep. Gently luring him out of his serene slumber, a pressing weight could be felt on top of him, as he shifted his body to stretch out on the mattress slightly. Soon enough though, those sweet innocent kisses that he felt tickling against his skin, turned into open-mouthed pecks; leaving a small trail of saliva exposed to the open air. Closer and closer, the affectionate kisses drifted towards his mouth before finally -- Bill opened one eye and peeked at the woman who was adorning his body so tenderly with affection, this morning. Y/N's hair was marginally messy, but in spite of that minuscule detail, she was still a vision of absolute beauty to him. A content sigh filtered through his nose, while a peaceful smile inched its way across his face.
"Good morning to you too," he mumbled gingerly, as she peered up at him and returned his smile with one of her own.
"Mmmm... Good morning baby."
He could tell by her voice that she was perfectly happy, and had probably been awake a little longer than he had. In this perfect moment, there were no worries and absolutely no stress; it was just tranquil bliss. Everything with her was so easy. It always had been, and he was legitimately sorry that it had taken him so long to see it; yet, it was undeniable to him that he was happy that he had finally gotten out of his own way -- and made her his.
Streams of golden sunlight poured through the flimsy and airy curtains, while a gentle breeze blew into the room from the cracked bedroom window. Their home was one he didn't completely recognize, but instinctively, he knew it was theirs. It was a perfect late spring morning, and he could almost smell the scent of freshly cut grass lingering in the air. The tranquilizing sound from the wind chimes outside, meandered throughout the room, as he took a deep breath in from his nostrils; feeling the air expand in his chest. He could smell her faint perfume from the night before; and it instantly made him want her in the worst way -- all over again. Judging from her actions, however, he deduced that he wasn't the only one in the mood again this morning.
Grabbing her face with both hands, he pulled Y/N up towards him -- closing the gap between them and kissed her ever so affectionately. Bill could feel her relax into his warm embrace; coxing out a renewed spark of passion from him. Her breathy little moan, virtually undid him right then and there as his tongue intertwined with hers. Before he knew it, he pushed her down on the bed and hovered over her perfect body that he couldn't get nearly enough of. Y/N broke the kiss just long enough to pull her tank top over her, and Bill was more than pleased to assess that she wasn't wearing a bra. For a moment, he closely contemplated telling her that there was a new rule between them: She was no longer allowed to wear any bras. It had to be considered a crime against nature to keep something as magnificent as her breasts, hidden under such an annoying and burdensome garment.
Returning his attention to the task at hand, Bill's lust-filled eyes wandered back to the gorgeous woman in his arms; a woman he simply couldn't function without -- no matter how hard he tried. Her breath came out as ragged pants and gasps, as he continued kissing her neck and working his way down to her perfectly shaped peaks.
"As much as I'm enjoying this attention, and trust me Bill, I'm enjoying the hell out of this -- I did leave our breakfast on the stove," she hummed softly, hoping to divert his attention away from his task.
Begrudgingly, he pulled away; not wanting to actually stop just yet -- but willing to do so if she insisted.
"Is it still cooking or is it already made, and just waiting on us? Because if it's already done, I don't see why we just can't keep going," he chuckled lightly, causing her to giggle as well. Gingerly, she pushed him back once more.
"It's still cooking, babe. I just came in here to wake you up. But I'll make you a deal... I'll go finish preparing the rest of our breakfast, without my top on -- and you can even watch. Deal?"
He had to admit, the promise of watching her prepare breakfast topless, was a tempting prospect indeed.
"Fine," he sighed tiredly, moving off towards the side and allowing her to get up. Y/N slid off of the bed, leaving her shirt abandoned on the floor; just as she had previously promised with a wicked little glint in her eyes.
"Get up slowpoke, you don't want to miss out on this..." She teased back, hoping to coax him out of bed faster.
Bill smirked at her; stretching his long limbs across the bed as he watched her tiptoe out of the bedroom. The muscles in her back flexed elegantly, while she made her way out the door and into the hallway -- closing the bedroom door behind her. Running a hand over his face, he laid there for a moment trying to collect himself before heading out to join her. After all, she did leave him in a semi-hard state, and he was tempted to follow her out there and bend her over the kitchen counter to take care of this pesky problem. Smirking to himself, he couldn't get over how lucky he felt in that moment. She was here, with him, and there was nothing in this world that could kill this joyous feeling he felt. Everything felt whole and right within the world.
Y/N was perfect in every single way, and she was finally his. He had been waiting for what seemed like an eternity for this; and If the rest of his life would play out this way, then Bill found himself hard-pressed to find anything to complain about...
Throwing the covers off of his slender, yet muscular body, he sat straight up and tossed his legs off the side of his bed -- running his right hand through his messy bed hair. The moment his bare feet touched the floor, it was only then that he noticed the entire floor was soaked through with murky water. Finding himself absolutely perplexed by this, he leaned his head off to the side -- trying to discern what exactly was going on.
"Y/N? Why is the floor all wet?" He curiously called out to his lover.
However a moment or two went by, and there was no response at all; which was highly unusual.
"Y/N?" He hollered out once more, hoping to grab her attention. And yet again, there was no reply.
Now, Bill was finding himself feeling apprehensive at the situation.
Where the hell was she?
Soon thereafter, he gave up hope that she would even return to their room; so he stood up and proceeded to walk over towards the bedroom door; all the while, dirty water sloshed around his feet -- causing him to grimace. But it wasn't until the very second, once he opened that wooden bedroom door, that he knew something was inherently and terribly wrong.
It took more than a moment for the sights, sounds and smells to genuinely register within his mind; regardless, once they did – there was truly no mistaking the atrociously horrifying scene that laid before him. Everything that had once resembled the hallway in their shared home, was gone. Instead, it looked as if either a bomb had gone off, or a storm had come through and ripped their home to shreds. Large parts of the wall were either cracked, knocked over and completely blackened. Broken picture frames were either smashed on the floor, with glass shattered like intricate spider webs in the frames or hanging lopsided on the only parts of the walls that were left standing. Wires that were once hidden away, out of sight and out of mind, were now exposed and dangling carelessly from the ceiling; and randomly placed holes seemed to have appeared in different parts of that very same roof -- from out of nowhere. Electrical sparks shot freely from the exposed wires and flew only a few precious feet ahead; their loud pops and bright flashes caused him to jump back violently and turn his face away momentarily.
For the life of him, he couldn't figure out what had happened or even how he had even missed it happening. He should have heard the unmistakable sounds of his house being ripped apart, shouldn’t he? None of it made any sense, and he was left second-guessing himself on if he was actually seeing all of this.
"What the f..."
He couldn't even finish his sentence before the shock finally began to set in, and the bone-crushing chill in the air made the hairs on his arms stand at attention. Something wasn't right about this, and now, he was beginning to feel afraid for both himself and Y/N. Eventually, he took a hesitant step forward, causing the water that swished around his bare feet to echo slightly in the darkened and damaged corridor. Once he took another step ahead though, the bedroom door that he had just walked out of slammed shut behind him with a resounding and thunderous bang -- causing him to leap back into the nearest wall. With his heart hammering wildly within his chest, his eyes glanced back at the door in wide-eyed surprise. After he managed to take a brief moment to calm his nerves, he rushed back over to the door trying to open it, only to discover that it wouldn't budge. It was well and truly stuck; almost as if someone had sealed it shut -- from the inside.
No matter how hard he tugged, pushed, pulled or rammed his shoulder against the door -- it refused to give. Bill soon found himself surrendering hope on the idea of trying to get the door to open for him again, and instead, he turned his attention back to the eerily dark and smelly hallway before him. The odors that hit him were rancid and offensive; practically singeing off his nose hairs, and if he had to take a guess, he wouldn't be surprised if the wastewater from the sewer had managed to get backed up into the house -- thanks to whatever had caused all of the damage that he saw all around him. Treading lightly and thoughtfully, he decided to press on and try to locate Y/N and find out what exactly happened here.
"Alright, pull your shit together," his quiet words, served as the only other sound around him with the obvious exception of the electrical pops being thrown off from the nearby wires. Without a shadow of a doubt, he swiftly figured out that he needed to get his bearings in order if he had any hope of making it out of here alive. "You're going to find Y/N, and you're going to get the hell out of here." Yet, in the grand scheme of it all, he wasn't entirely sure if his words were meant to convince himself that things weren't as bad as they looked -- or if they were meant to be a source of self-comfort instead.
Large chunks of knocked over drywall, littered and blocked his path; meaning he would have to crawl over certain spots in order to make it to the other parts of the house. To make matters worse, a haze of smoke filled the small area, making it increasingly more difficult to breathe or see. Nor was that even mentioning the fact that he carefully needed to navigate around the loosing and hanging wires, that were in his way. One wrong move and he could either get a cut on his foot from something hidden in the water, accidentally electrocute himself, or potentially fall over something laying across the walkway. Nevertheless, with his mind made up, he gently prodded his foot forward in order to feel around before taking his next step; hoping that nothing would nic or cut himself in the process.
More statically charged, popping noises exploded from the looming and threatening wires nearby. Just when he thought the situation couldn't get any worse, he noticed how low one of the wires on his left, was hanging dangerously close to the wet floor. Refusing to take any chances at becoming electrocuted, he hastened his efforts to make it past the first piece of wall that was blocking his path. Luckily for him, it was only slanted against the other wall that sat on the opposite side. And as it turned out, this piece would be a lot easier to get by, because all he had to do was duck down and crawl underneath it.
He felt his stomach grow queasy at the idea of crawling through potential wastewater, but the fear of potential death was an excellent motivator in getting Bill to tough it out and complete the simple task that laid before him.
Once his hands hit the water, he had to stop for a minute to give his shaky limbs time to adjust to the temperature. The water felt frigid to the touch, and it was a miracle that his feet hadn't gone numb already. Determination propelled him forward, and steadily, he slid his hands onward under the water; mindfully looking out for any objects that could likely injure him. As soon as he emerged out from under the large piece of drywall, he stood back up and attempted to wipe the gunk from his hands and on his soaked, flannel pajama pants. Of course, it had been in vain, but he couldn't think about that at the moment; there other more pressing matters to worry about.
Coincidentally, there weren't as many exposed wires the further he drifted down the hall, but there were more fragments of burnt cream-colored drywall and wood, that was obstructing the pathway. The next two pieces were large, cracked and sitting side by side, and they required him to meticulously crawl over them -- without possibly falling through and hurting himself on whatever lied underneath. Parts of the insulation were strewn about all over the place, and the smoke was making it harder to breathe. It was a painstakingly slow process, but he managed to lay his body flat against the piece of plaster and wood; pulling himself across the planks with ease.
After he made it over the obstacles and back on his feet, the film of unforgiving smoke started to miraculously dissipate; thankfully allowing him to see a boldly, extravagant tree -- standing right in front of him. Bill stood there with his mouth gaping, feeling dumbfounded and transfixed at the mighty and wondrous sign of life before him; all the while trying to specifically figure out how a fully grown tree -- managed to grow in the middle of his fucking house. It stood there vibrantly, with its dark green leaves standing out brilliantly in a perfect juxtaposition to the wasted wreckage that laid all around him. Instantly giving in to his more inquisitive nature, he seemingly forgot the need to be conscious of where he stepped, as he made his way over towards the tree. It was only after he stepped closer to it, that he realized that it was actually an apple tree.
The magnificent apple tree had have been just over 30 feet tall, with ripe fruit good for the taking. In a moment of all-encompassing awe, he reached out with his right hand and plucked down the first captivating apple that caught his eye. The fruit was a beautiful scarlet red in color, and heavy to the touch. Without even thinking, he was overwhelmed with the urge to take a bite; but before he could -- another apple also snagged his wayward attention. Suddenly, he extended his left hand up and picked off the fruit from the branch as well. This particular one may have been smaller in size, but it was no less pretty or appealing to him.
He stared in fascination, at the apples in both of his hands, utterly blown away by the fact that something so amazing could survive whatever happened here.
It was only after he let out a sigh, that he finally heard it. A noise so uncharacteristic and out of place, that he had to wonder if he had only imagined it.
Quietly, he listened to the sounds that were taking place all around him -- noticing that something was off in the atmosphere. It took a few seconds, but he finally heard that peculiar noise again. It sounded as if something was weakly tapping against a hallowed surface. Curiosity got the better of him, effectively causing him to turn his head to look over his right shoulder. Sure enough, sitting behind the dark, overcast shadows of the room, there was a closed-door that appeared to slightly jolt forward against the frame -- every time the knocking was heard. Inching closer to it, he tried to remain as silent as possible while straining to hear the sound once more. He couldn't be certain if there was a person in there or not. Just as he arrived in front of the door, a loud whisper broke through the intense silence of the room; forcing him to halt in his tracks.
"Don't look back."
The whispered command startled him; causing him to turn his gaze downward in an attempt to subtly peek back over his shoulder. The energy in the room had changed ominously, whilst the air began cackling all around him; practically demanding him to fight against the urge to shut his own eyes. However, the millisecond his glossy eyes drifted down, it was then that he saw the haunting sight that he never expected to encounter. There, in his own hands were no longer two lovely apples he had picked earlier, but instead -- were two warm, slimy and crimson-stained human hearts. A terrified scream tore from his lips; causing him to drop the bloodied hearts into the murky water below -- and turn back around to find the most horrific display he had ever seen in his life...
The once pristine apple tree he was staring at not only one minute ago, was now dead. The leaves and apples had fallen off and onto the greywater saturated floor; instead, what was hanging on two strongest branches in their place -- were the deceased bodies of Y/N and Natalia. Both women looked to be hanging by their necks. Their chests appeared to be hacked open and exposed, with blood still dripping down the front of their white-colored dresses. Horrified by what was happening, Bill quickly stepped back; unable to comprehend the ghastly situation that was playing out in front of his very eyes. His left foot, caught on one of the hearts that was laying behind him, causing him to lose his footing and topple backward; landing harshly on his backside in the filthy water. The confusion and despair that shot through his mind, was raw and unparalleled.
This felt real, too real; and he was on the verge of a full-blown panic attack as he realized that when he took what he thought to be apples from this tree -- he was actually ripping their hearts directly from their chests.
Thanks to the horrendous vision in front of him, he couldn't breathe -- much less process what was happening. His eyes filled with tears, as the numbness silently crept in. The skin on both ladies was pale and void of any signs of life, plus their hair was matted to their heads. If he had to take a guess at how long they had been displayed in that tree, Bill would have assumed they had been dead for hours. Blood was splattered haphazardly across their faces, as their toes were tipped and pointed to the ground. He felt his own stomach bile beginning to rise up to his mouth; leaving an unpleasant burning sensation, scratching at the back of his throat -- yearning for an impromptu escape. The tragically twisted view before him had robbed him of all rational, and sensible thought, as he peered up at their lifeless bodies -- and screamed out once more. 
Abruptly, and with next to no warning whatsoever, Natalia's eyes snapped open; causing Bill to jump back and let out another scared and confused yelp. Her light grey, cataracted eyes, drew his attention away from the gaping hole in her chest where her heart used to be.
"Come back to me, Bill."
Her voice was strained, while she struggled to call out to him.
He inched closer to her bruised and battered body, whilst wondering how just how on Earth she could even be alive. Those few precious steps, though, were all it took; allowing Natalia to finally reach out and grab his shoulder in her vice-like, death grip -- causing him to cry out in pain, as her nails embedded themselves deep within his tender flesh.
"Come back!"
___
Sitting in her living room, Natalia was calmly smoking a cigarette and watching the smoke waft around, silently drifting deftly out of the window -- and into the cool and dampened, pre-dawn air. She rarely smoked inside her home, but at the moment she didn't particularly care about abiding by her day to day rules. If anything, she needed the preferred release that only nicotine could provide for her nerves. While she snuggled further down comfortably in her favorite chair, she watched the glowing purple and pink hues, light up the early morning skies above her.
A huge part of her plan, would be going into effect today; and depending upon Bill's reaction to what she had coming -- it would also determine if she managed to adequately see the rest of her plan through or not. There was a relatively sizeable chance, that after she enacted this crucial part of her plan -- he could end up splitting up with her. However, it didn't matter because this was a risk she had to take. Admittedly, some part of her, sincerely wondered if he would even do such a thing. He had been home for well over a week and a half now, and he hadn't bothered to end things with her yet. She couldn't help but wonder why.
Why was he dragging ass on this?
It was a question that had been burning in the back of her mind lately. In her view, it was obvious to her from the start, that he had always had long-buried feelings for Y/N. The fact that he hadn't mentioned one measly thing to her about taking a break, being unfaithful, or splitting up for good since he had been back home -- had made her insanely curious into his reasons on why he was staying quiet about this. 
Was there a part of him that had legitimately grown to love her? Was he having trouble coming to grips with what he had done to their relationship? Was he feeling guilty about what had happened, and was it eating him alive? She pettily hoped so. More importantly, did he have hidden doubts about Y/N? There had to be a reason, some semblance of an explanation there, and he was doing a great job at leaving her in the dark -- which was not something Natalia appreciated in the slightest.
These days, she had elected to sleep on the couch; pretending to be catching up with her work and wanting to get things done while she had the chance to do so. Thus, in the process, giving herself ample time and space away from Bill -- in order to sort herself out. Actually attaining any sleep though, was practically impossible; and these days, it was beginning to show. However, she was talented enough at masking the dark circles under eyes with concealer and other makeup products, all the while maintaining her regular schedule of activities and appearances. Ever since the first night he arrived back to her shared apartment, and she had attempted to lightly seduce him into bed and he shot the idea down, only for her to discover the reasons why in Ace's email to her after he left their apartment -- she had decided to distance herself from the idea of being intimate with him anyway. It would only put both of them in an awkward position; one that not even she was ready to face herself. Natalia knew he would possibly rebuff her advances if she made any further attempts, making them both feel uncomfortable and embarrassed; plus, she was no longer in a frame of mind to allow him to touch her. He had betrayed her trust, and while she wasn't entirely innocent over the course of their relationship and she acknowledged that to herself privately -- she didn't exactly feel right about rewarding his shitty behavior with sex either.
Not to mention, he wasn't even fucking smart enough to not get himself caught.
The thought alone, caused her to roll her eyes in annoyance. 
Over the past several days, her mentally exhausting anguish was beginning to morph into silent fury and anger. If she could get through the rest of this day, with their relationship still intact, then she stood a chance of making sure that she could end this bullshit affair of his -- once and for all. By the time she would be done, Bill's choice would be made for him. And if she were lucky, she would be getting Y/N out of the picture for good.
From across the hall, it was the sound of strained moaning coming from the bedroom, startled her out of her perpetual trance-like state. Remarkably, the noises had sounded as though Bill were distressed. Natalia quickly stubbed out her half-smoked cigarette, tossing it outside and closing her window, as she silently tip-toed over to their shared bedroom door. Leaning her head against the door, her eyes fluttered shut as she concentrated on listening to what was going on inside the bedroom. The moans were becoming progressively more distressed. Going against her better judgment, she slowly clasped the brass handle within her small hand and opened the door -- taking in the scene before her. Bill was laying on their bed, tossing and thrashing about, almost as if he were trapped inside of another hellish nightmare. He had been having them a lot more frequently over the past week. For a second, she wondered just how much his role of playing a psychopathic, child-eating clown in a horror movie -- had potentially messed with his head.
If that were the case, it could certainly explain some of the changes in his behavior recently...
Thinking quickly on her feet, she briskly walked over to his side of the bed and snapped on the bedside lamp sitting neatly on top of her black nightstand. She reached out timidly and slowly began to rub his shoulder; calling out his name.
"Baby, wake up. You're having a bad dream," she mumbled quietly, trying not to startle him out of his dream. It took a few moments, but it finally worked.
Bill shot straight up in the bed, gasping for much-needed air and clawing at his chest. His heart thundered wildly against the breastplate of his chest, and he felt beads of sweat pouring down his face. Off to his left, he saw her... Natalia. And thankfully, she was alive and well.
"Hey, it's me! Calm down! Du har bara haft en mardröm, du kommer bli bra," Natalia tenderly assured him as she pulled herself closer to him, if only in order to help him realize that he wasn't dreaming anymore. Noticing that he was squinting while he attempted to look over at her, she reached back over to the lamp -- quickly snapping it back off as to not hurt his delicate, sleep-ridden eyes.
As furious as Natalia had been with Bill over the past few days, since she found out about his affair with his assistant, she did feel some slight remorse that he was having recurring nightmares over the past several nights. It was obvious to her that his role, of playing Pennywise, had taken a lot out of him -- both mentally and physically.
A part of her, felt a tad bit silly for even caring about his comfort at the moment; particularly given what she had just found out only a week or so prior. But the other half of her, even through the indescribable anger she felt churning away below the surface, did still care about him. At the moment, however, she had to push those warring feelings to the side, because it was imperative that she keep up the appearance -- at all costs.
"Baby, it's okay. Du är säker," she cooed faintly, pulling him into her embrace.
Bill, on the other hand, didn't catch onto her conflicting temperament. His mind was still racing, from the awful things he had experienced, and his breathing was still erratic. He felt her rubbing relaxing circles against his back, as his head rested against her shoulder; graciously taking a free moment of the peaceful serenity she offered to him.
"I'm sorry, Nat."
If she weren't paying attention at the time, she would have nearly missed his softly whispered apology. It was so faint that for a second -- she began to second guess her own hearing. His apology startled her; capturing her completely off guard and totally unaware. Her eyes widened in shock and surprise, causing her hand that was continuously rubbing soothing circles on his back -- to falter for a moment.
"Allt är bra, kom tillbaka till mig."
Almost as if on cue, a sweeping feeling of guilt started to creep into the deepest recesses of his very mind. As much as he cared for her, she wasn't Y/N. And it began to feel wrong to even take comfort in Natalia's reassuring arms. Taking solace in her embrace, wouldn't make what he needed to do, any easier -- in fact, it would be much harder on them both. In spite of that though, he couldn't deny that they did have a complex history together too.
Natalia had surprised him at a time when he least suspected it was possible. She had conveniently arrived in a disastrously messy period in his life, when he had all but given up on the idea of being able to find someone to take his mind off of the one woman he couldn't seem to have. Back then Y/N had John, who was an utter fool that couldn't even appreciate how good he genuinely had it with her, and even though that bastard didn't deserve her for a number of reasons, some that she wasn't even aware of yet, she appeared to be happy with him at that point in her life. It wasn't until shortly after he had gotten with Natalia, that he figured out just how wrong he was in that assessment on Y/N and John's relationship. Even with that knowledge, however, he couldn't bring himself to be selfish with her back then because her happiness actually meant something to him. But somehow, that managed to change for him recently. Now that things had changed and he had Y/N's affections, he knew it wouldn't be able to give it up. She was like a drink of fresh water, on a hot summer's day. There was no way in hell, he was passing up this opportunity to make her his.
When Natalia had shown up at that holiday party he was reluctantly attending, it had seemed like fate had opened up a new door full of opportunities and possibilities. Slowly, but ever so surely -- Bill found himself captivated by her charm and opening himself up to her. It was remarkable in the wonderfully unpredictable way that she managed to weave herself into his life. He couldn't lie, in the beginning, it felt as easy as breathing and he felt as if maybe he could finally get over the fact that he would never have Y/N. Admittedly, he would pull back at times, in the beginning, owing to the fact that it kind of freaked him out just how easy it was to turn to her in his moments of weakness. It was a feeling he wasn't quite used to with anyone else, outside of Y/N. But Natalia wasn't deterred by his reluctance, and she knew exactly how to push him out of his more elusive shell. It was something he had found himself respecting about her... At first.
As time went on though, certain things began to shift between them and it took a while for him to notice the things he had either never observed before -- or had simply overlooked during the time. While it was no secret that Natalia had an unrelenting Type-A personality, and it worked to her favor because she was smart enough to hone in on her emotions, it was also something that Bill really wasn't about on his own individual level. He gravitated more towards being a little more laid back, but also kept himself astonishingly well-organized. He went with the flow of the situations around him, whilst respecting the fluidity that life naturally offered; plus he liked to rationalize his decisions prior to making them, while quickly improvising and thinking on his feet when things changed -- much like Y/N did. It was a major reason why they worked together on both a professional and personal level. Their temperaments and approaches in life, were synced up and matched on a staggering level. Natalia, on the other hand, was incredibly analytical and tactical in her thinking, so when plans changed, she didn't like it as she generally strived to have control over a situation. Surprises tended to make her quite moody. In fact, just about two weeks ago, he had to talk her out of taking him on an impromptu trip to Greece -- when he had gotten back home.
She wanted a take him on a romantic getaway, just for the two of them with no distractions, within a day of him flying back home. It should have been obvious that it may have been cutting it a little close, however, the thought of that flew right over Natalia's head -- or she didn't care. On the other side of this proverbial two-headed coin, while he acknowledged that it was a sweet gesture, Bill had also wanted to spend time with his friends and family at home; catching up with the people he had missed for the past few months, due to his filming schedule. When he told her he was unsure about her idea to travel so far away from home, she didn't exactly take it too well. Of course, it should have gone without saying that the conversation had broken down into another strenuously heated argument between them. It was commonplace at this point. Natalia needed to have control over every situation; and it was something that, more often than not -- had rubbed Bill the wrong way over the past year. At times, he felt her incessant need to have total control over every minuscule aspect of their daily lives and activities, became downright disrespectful; made him feel kind of like his voice shouldn't fundamentally matter. Moreover, it was getting especially annoying since their disagreements almost always were dissolving into screaming matches; matches that left him feeling drained and where he would have to be the first one to apologize -- even when it wasn't his fault. It felt as if she couldn't accept any faults in the issues at hand, and it had been taking its toll on him.
His problem though, was that he hadn't properly communicated any of this. The only time he had said anything to her, was in the middle of their epic meltdowns. Bill was now realizing just how badly he fucked up, and it wasn't a smooth pill to swallow or digest.
This wasn't even counting the times she tried to ask him to get rid of Y/N as an assistant, or to essentially break their ties of friendship altogether. Those requests alone, back in the beginning when Natalia sincerely didn't have anything to worry about back then seeing as Y/N was wrapped up in a committed relationship, damn near drove him up a wall.
Nor, was he even mentioning the fact that over the past few months, she had been putting an astronomical amount of pressure on him to start house hunting with her; as if he didn't already have a jam-packed schedule as it was -- this new issue began to spark off new arguments too. Since their engagement, which was quickly becoming the biggest regret he had in all of this, getting him to commit to buying a new home with her had become her top priority recently and her reasoning was solid on the surface: If they would be getting married, it made perfect sense for them to buy a house together.
Bill understood that, on the surface level. It was the logical next step after all. And he would also be lying if he didn't admit that something was holding him back. He wasn't committing to it, even before things with Y/N started evolving to where they were right now.
Had they really both inherently doomed their relationship, from the start? Bill was beginning to suspect they had. His role, however, was entirely on him. His reluctance to pull the trigger, put his foot down and be more open with his himself, his emotions and face every single little thing he was thinking, feeling and experiencing in between -- that was all on him. That part, would never be on Natalia or Y/N. He needed to own up to that, or else he was doomed to repeat the same mistakes.
He knew what he had to do, but as he thought back to his hellish nightmare -- he felt afraid. He didn't want to hurt Natalia, even though he had quickly been noticing that they wanted two very different things out of life. They may have had contradictory viewpoints with how they each carried themselves within their personal lives, or within their own personal goals and aspirations, but he didn't want to hurt her either.
As soon as Natalia pulled back from his embrace, Bill looked in deep into her pale blueish-grey eyes and noticed for the very first time -- just how tired she looked. There were bags and dark circles under her eyes, and she looked like she hadn't gotten a proper nights sleep in days. Remorse filled his soul, whilst he absorbed her rough appearance. Could she not see that she was miserable too? In a stunning moment of pure clarity, he sadly knew that if they continued down this road that they would end up resentful and potentially even hateful towards one another; and it was in realizing that agonizing fact, that he knew what had to be done. It was time to end this with her. And he would do it tonight, after their joint annual family dinner. Once they arrived back here, in the privacy of her apartment, he would sit her down and talk to her about everything.
He just prayed that she wouldn't hate him forever because of this...
_____
Laughter, merriment and mumbled sounds of social chatter could be heard, floating throughout the air of the Holm's country house -- as Bill and Natalia's family members conversed smoothly with one another in the light and airy dining room. Natalia knew that Bill had always appreciated this little ritual that both of their families came together for. Since he was gone quite a bit to North America, filming for projects, auditioning for others, or even doing press junkets -- Natalia enjoyed being able to pull their families together so they could catch up once Bill was back in town.
Candles were set up all around the dining room, bathing the room in a mild ethereal glow. The wine was flowing generously, and the ostentatious table was covered with a luscious satin white table cloth; proudly displaying a bountiful amount of culinary dishes that made her mouth water. The delicious aroma's caused her stomach to rumble; forcing her to acknowledge the fact that she hadn't eaten properly in days. She was surviving off coffee, water, cigarettes, and the occasional snack. Soon though, that would potentially be behind her -- if, of course, everything went accordingly to her plan. Being seated in front of such a feast, finally got her in the mood to fill up her plate and actually eat a decent meal for the first time in a week and a half.
Natalia's older sister, Agnes, was located across the table from her; holding her six-month-old daughter in her arms -- while her husband William sat to her left. Their younger brother Max, was seated off to the other side of William; thankfully engaging in a conversation with Bill's younger brother Valter. Both young men were in their prime, and not looking to settle down anytime soon; which meant they had more in common with each other -- than they did with anyone else at the table. Bill's younger sister Eija, sat off to Valter's right, with her long-time boyfriend. Both of them were enjoying a tender conversation together, and paying no attention to anyone else at the moment. Natalia smiled at them, as they looked so happy and in love with one another. And beside Eija’s boyfriend, was her own mother -- Monica Holm. Bill's mother, My, was seated to the right side of her father, Viktor Holm who sat at the head of the table. Gustaf and his new girlfriend were both seated on the left side of Bill, and right beside Gustaf's lovely lady, was Bill's eldest brother Alexander -- who also took his place beside their mother.
Opportunities to get everyone together like this, were exceptionally rare. And for a nervous Natalia, it all came down to this. The festivities were beginning to wind down, and soon, her father would begin the round of toasts to congratulate everyone on their newest accomplishments. Her parents were sticklers for positive reinforcement as they were growing up, so it was only natural that they not only continued their tradition after their children had all flown the nest -- but that they also brought the partners of their children on it as well.
Like clockwork, Natalia had just taken her third bite of the jordgubbstårta, that her mother had prepared as a dessert, before she heard the light tapping of a polished silver fork, knocking on a dazzling crystal wine glass -- coming from the head of the table. She smiled adoringly up at her father, as he stood up and locked eyes with her; giving her a wink to let her know he wouldn't mind if she wanted to continue eating. She had truly been the apple of his eye, and he always made sure that his children knew how much he loved them.
"I would like to propose a toast," Viktor began confidently. "For some time now, our two families have gotten together to catch up, enjoy delicious food and to spend quality time with the people we hold most dear to us. Monica and I, always enjoy when it’s our turn to host these dinners and we’re grateful for having you all here." He paused, taking a quick moment to glance adoringly towards his wife of over thirty years. "Bill, son, thank you for introducing all of us to your beautiful family who we have grown to care for as an extension of our own. To my wife, thank you for putting up with me as I destroy our kitchen trying to help you prepare for these gatherings," he gently lamented, as everyone else began to chuckle. "And to my children, you continue to make me proud with each passing day. Skål!"
Everyone raised their glasses, echoing his hospitable sentiments and clinking them together lightly with their neighbors -- before taking a sip at the contents within each of their cups. Time passed, and a few more toasts were given around the table. It turned out, that Max had come prepared to this specific gathering -- as he announced to their parents that he had been accepted into law school. Witnessing their father beam with pride, and their mother's jaw drop -- had been worth the wait on telling them. It was an astonishment, that their mother didn't scream after he told them. It was a universally known fact, that their parents had been worried about what Max would decide to do with his future. Being bestowed with the knowledge that he had an overall direction now, had possibly put them at ease. It was a moment, that had made her immensely proud of her younger brother.
Once everyone had settled back down, however, the moment she had been waiting and psyching herself up for -- had arrived. Natalia cautiously looked around, scanning the room and watching everyone sharing their support for Max as they set glasses back on the table. Now, all she needed was to fester up her courage and get this show on the road. It was time to put those acting chops to good use, and appear more confident than she actually felt at the moment. One wrong move, and she was convinced she would lose her nerve. So she reached for her glass, gulped down a rather large swallow of wine, before taking a deep breath and steeling her frayed nerves...
"Well, I hope you all don't mind but I wanted to share some news with everyone -- since we're all together and it feels like we never get together enough these days," Natalia declared shyly, as she pushed back her chair and decided to begin her speech.
It's now or never. May God have mercy on me, if this shit goes sideways...
"I'd like to propose a toast of my own." She spoke more confidently this time, as she pushed her chin forward in a show of conviction. Bill, however, briefly looked confused by this sudden development, as he caught his brother Valter's eyes from across the table. Turning his focus back to Natalia, he noticed that she was looking down at him with her hand held out for his. Graciously, he smiled back at her and laced his larger hand through hers.
"For a while, I often wondered when I would find someone who would be special enough to love me for who I am; at the same time, I also questioned if I would ever be in a place that would allow me to recognize and accept that person for everything that they were -- once they managed to appear in my life. Alla vet redan att jag kan vara ganska jobbig ibland," her confession caused her siblings to chuckle and nod vigorously in a show of silent agreement. "Yet, when that special someone comes into your life, så vet du bara. With Bill," she paused momentarily, as she stared back at him. "I always knew he was special and unique. He's kind, caring, and compassionate; but he's also devoted, hard-working and best of all -- he's incredibly loyal." Bill felt his heart skip a beat, as he gulped. If there was ever a moment in his life, where he felt like the shittiest person on the planet -- this was quite possibly it. He didn't miss it as Gustaf choked on his wine, causing the elder Skarsgard to apologize and make an excuse about it 'going down the wrong pipe,' before Natalia methodically continued.
"I am so proud of each and every one of his new milestones, and while the road may get bumpy sometimes, I know that he will always be there -- no matter how difficult things may get."
Bill could hear her sister and mother, murmuring their agreements with Natalia comments in the background. The battle within him though was only just beginning; he could feel the pressure beginning to rise, whilst his anxiety stirred to life deep in the pit of his gut. Something didn't feel quite right about this, but nevertheless, he felt like shit as he listened to her sing his praises to everyone in the room. She had absolutely no idea what was coming later tonight, and she was inadvertently making him feel even worse without even meaning to.
"Therefore, I would like to privately announce to our families,"
Without warning, a foreboding feeling slammed into him at full force. The wheels in his head worked overtime, as he tried to piece together her end game here, when abruptly -- it all snapped into place.
Oh no...
Time slowed down to snail's pace. Seconds felt like several agonizing minutes, causing him to hear every beat of his own heart pounding away furiously in his ears. He wasn't an idiot, and he figured out exactly what she was about to do. His stomach felt like it was doing somersaults in his throat, and before he could think of a way to stop her...
"Bill and I are now engaged!" she gushed excitedly, as she pulled out the Ruby and Diamond engagement ring from her pocket, that he had previously given her -- leaving Bill sitting there in stunned silence. Gasps filled the air, as both families happiness caused them to erupt with celebratory rounds of "congratulations," being showered on the couple. The rest of her family stood up to give them hugs while Bill sat there in barely concealed shock; his composure, sloppily falling away momentarily as he absorbed the reality of what had just happened.
Suddenly, he felt the impact of a stiff kick on his shin from underneath the table, as his older brother Gustaf watched him intently. His lip curled up, signaling to Bill to smile. Once more, his mask of indifference slipped it's way back onto his face, as he stood up and accepted hugs and handshakes from her family members that began to surround them.
It was not as if he had any choice in the matter; what the hell else could he do? Just stand up and say, "I’m sorry everyone, but there seems to be some sort of mistake. I actually planned to break up with Natalia later tonight," and believe that it wouldn't cause a massive scene? Unfortunately, he knew that wouldn't go over well. Moreover, he didn't want to subject his mother to the needless drama either. He had too much respect for her, and even for Natalia's own parents, to legitimately consider doing that to them. Besides, when it boiled down to it -- Natalia didn't deserve to be humiliated like that either. Bill was well and truly stuck, with no other choice but to pretend that he was the happy and doting fiance.
In the end, he gracefully acted the role of dutiful fiance and leaned over to kiss her on the cheek. It was a brazen move, Natalia would give him that. Deep in her heart, she knew that the real test would be the one that took place later on tonight -- when they were both away from the prying eyes of their families and finally by themselves. 
Tactically, Bill took a subtle peek around the table and noticed his own siblings watching the interaction intently. Each of them knew that this wasn't what their brother had wanted anymore. It seemed that even his own sister was giving him the side-eye. Her stern look, conveying a simple message: We're going to talk about this later, you fucking idiot.
Briefly, he wondered if his brothers had told her about his time with Y/N because she certainly didn't seem to be too impressed with him at all; and neither were his brothers. Regrettably, while Bill didn't want to make their judgments any worse, he knew it was coming when he felt his mother wrap her arms around him -- telling him just how proud of him she was. His green eyes glazed over and shut, as he hugged her back. Even though his eyes were shut, he could still feel the piercing stares of his siblings; harshly and silently criticizing him for not standing up and putting a stop to this.
His hands were tied, and there was very obviously nothing he could do, presently, to stop or curb the situation. So with that in mind, he sat back down in his seat and waited for the festivities to come to the inevitable end.
Natalia had well and truly fucked him and his plans up tonight, and there was a part of him that was a little bit angry about it; more so with himself for getting himself into this mess. His plan to end their relationship tonight, was effectively shot to hell. He literally could not leave her right now -- not after this grand little display of hers.
Fuck.
Bill shifted uncomfortably in his seat, knowing that his older brothers Alexander and Gustaf were probably waiting on what their younger brother's next move would be. They were already well aware of what had happened, between Y/N and Bill, since he had already told them about it -- once he made back home.
On his first night back in town, he had gone to meet up with his younger brother Valter at the local pub -- only to realize that his two older brothers, Alexander and Gustaf, were joining him as a surprise. It was a welcomed reprieve to just be able to sit down and catch up with each of them individually. A few hours and several drinks later, he ended up confessing about the affair to his brothers. None of the men were even remotely surprised by the turn of events; even going as far as to tell him as they all had seen it coming. Valter and Gustaf both cherished Y/N already, and while Alex also thought she was perfect for his younger brother -- he also didn't exactly like the situation they had both gotten themselves into. He was leary of the fact that Natalia would just accept Bill breaking up with her. Of course, Alex was simply speaking from personal experience with that particular subject. It was no secret that he wasn't exactly considered any kind of saint in some of his former relationships. But it was those relationships alone, that had taught him how to spot the signs of trouble yet to come. It was because of that, that Bill tried to take Alex's advice to tread carefully, to heart.
Now, Natalia had him by the balls and if Y/N found out -- any potential future they may have together could be ruined. He had to think, and fast. Because if the looks on his siblings' faces were something to go by, they weren’t going to let this go; if anything -- there was going to be severe consequences for this.
------
Headlights flashed ahead, as the dark grey Audi A3 sedan pulled into the small parking spot located just underneath the decently sized and sturdy white apartment building. The silence in the air was thick and palpable, with anticipation and suspense. Natalia was unsure of what to expect next, as Bill hadn't said a word to her since they both left the dinner party.
If she were lucky, Bill would simply go inside and simply feign sleepiness in order to get out of the discussion with her; but somehow -- she highly doubted that was about to happen. She was far from stupid, and she didn't miss the look of complete shock on his face when she told everyone of their engagement tonight. Of course, he straightened up and smiled; even going as far as thanking people for their well-wishes that they showered upon them -- yet his hesitation was certainly not missed by her clever and observant eyes.
Nervousness seemed to be settling deep within her spirit, at an almost rapid pace. In her defense, this felt like a good idea in her head at the time; back when she had gotten Ace's email, and learned about Bill's affair with Y/N. Hindsight was fifty-fifty though, and she was wondering if her impromptu announcement at the dinner party would push him over the edge -- causing him to leave her for good. If it did, she could conclusively kiss her revenge plan goodbye. To be fair, she knew there was a high likelihood of her getting an adverse reaction from him when she went into it; but when you're wrapped so tightly within the welcoming embrace of pure, uninhibited fury -- you tend to lose sight of the things are that should be undeniable. And although she wouldn't admit her fears so openly, due to her own anger and pride, she was particularly petrified of the possibility of him leaving her for doing this. Of course, when she sat back and thought about it, in the middle of those lonely nights recently, it was definitely considered downright pathetic to be worried about something like that. After all, without a shadow of a doubt, she should be the one leaving him. Yet, when it came down to it, she couldn't seem to pull the proverbial trigger. The love she felt for him, while wounded in the worst possible way -- was still there for him. How it was surviving, was beyond her own comprehension.
It was too late now though. Once her decision was acted upon, she knew she needed to see it all the way through; regardless of the repercussions. Ironically, it was the image of Bill kissing Y/N, which felt permanently seared into her mind -- that propelled her forward with her plan. 
Neither of them said a word after she killed the engine to the car. She sat back in her leather seat, anxiously fiddling with her keys as she trained her eyes down towards her lap. A feeling of restlessness surged through her veins and Natalia had no idea why she was so nervous. In her opinion, it should be Bill who should be over there sweating bullets. There was no way he could get out of this, without having to come clean. Yet, even knowing that, didn't calm her down at all. If anything, it just put her on edge even more.
Why wasn't he saying anything?
The longer he sat there quietly, the more jittery she became. Realizing that she didn't plan to spend all night simply sitting in the car waiting for him to finally address her -- she lifted her hand to the silver door handle and propped open the driver's side door. They had some leftovers, in a couple of wrapped up dishes which sitting on the back floorboards, so she went ahead and opened the back door to grab them and bring them inside.
Bill exhaled deeply, as he too, finally opened his door and decided to help her get the food inside.
His mind was in a much different place than Natalia's, and it was consistently swimming between anger and fear. Luckily for Natalia, it was predominately aimed at himself at the moment; well, with the notable exception of his anger at her for once again -- going off and doing something, without consulting with him beforehand. This seemed to be an ever-repeating pattern among them, and quite frankly, it felt as if they could never find themselves sitting on the same page. It was annoying, and bothersome, to say the least.
Upon opening the front door to her apartment, Natalia quietly thanked him for his help as she pushed her way inside and Bill flipped the kitchen light switch on for them. He never said a word, as he took off his jacket, brushed a hand through his thick brown hair, and watched her put the leftover food on the stove in order to pull out her Tupperware dishes. He simply watched her work her way around the kitchen, just as he had always seen her do over the past year and a half -- and thought about how to approach the rather big elephant in the room. As he stood on the other side of the counter, he pulled out a stool and continued to watch her work.
"Nat, can you stop doing that and come here, please? We need to talk."
He noticed the way her back froze, the moment he uttered those words. Setting aside the aluminum foil package, she turned around and took off her own jacket; hanging it on the coat hanger she had next to the door. For the first time, since they left her parents house, he observed that her engagement ring was still sitting on her ring finger. She hadn't taken it off, since leaving the dinner party. The way the bright light in the kitchen hit the diamonds, causing them to sparkle and shine -- had caught his eye.
Instantly, he lost focus and remembered back to the night when he had asked her to marry him. Oddly enough, he proposed to her right here, in this very room of her apartment -- right after they had made dinner together. At the time, he was focused on doing anything that made her feel happy. And he knew, without a shadow of a doubt from their numerous pillow talks, that an engagement was something she certainly looked forward to having in their future. Natalia didn't know it, but he had purchased the ring a few weeks prior. Bill knew she adored rubies and thought they were stunning. It had taken him a little bit of time, but he was able to track down the ring that appeared to be perfect for her. A single teardrop-shaped, two and a half-carat Ruby, surrounded by a halo of diamonds -- with a plentiful amount of diamonds adorning the white gold, crisscrossed double band.
In retrospect, even he had to admit that was quite foolish of him to do that simply to keep her happy. It was dawning on him now, that it was a mistake because he wasn't actually ready to commit himself to a marriage; yet -- that didn't stop the fact that he still felt bad about causing this dysfunction in the first place.
"You're upset."
It wasn't a question, it was merely an observation and it hung in the air like a knife, causing him to momentarily flinch at her accusation. Was she wrong? No. He just didn't want this to turn into another row between them either. Enough damage had already been accomplished for one night.
Carefully selecting his next words would be imperative, and he knew it.
"I'm simply wondering why you chose to tell our families about the engagement; jag trodde att vi hade en överenskommelse."
Natalia slid into the barstool, just on the other side of Bill and folded her hands neatly in front of her. Her quiet demeanor only enhanced his sense of dismay, even further. And strangely, the sigh that exited her chest, sounded like one of defeat; leaving him wondering about what was to come next.
It wasn't that long ago, when she used to bring him happiness and a ray of hope to his future. When he thought about it, it was just after he had agreed to start seeing Natalia exclusively, that he began to start seeing a chance of happiness outside of Y/N and Natalia had a lot do with that. She made him feel comfortable, at least during that brief period in time; yet he couldn't lie to himself -- because the idea of fully giving up on his feelings for Y/N never fully resonated in his heart either. Those feelings only sat idly by, like the embers of once raging fire, threatening to reignite once again at the sign of any change in the environment. 
And that was exactly what they did; those emotions reignited in a big, fiery and all-consuming way. It was something, he wouldn't let go off.
This was his fault, and he knew it.
"Since you're asking for my honesty, here it is; I'm tired of hiding something like this from our families. I agreed to be your wife the moment you asked me. I'm in this for the long haul. But asking me to keep it quiet, hasn't really settled well with me either. I want to be able to share this with our mothers, my mother -- even my own sister." She exclaimed wistfully; her ice-blue eyes bore into his, imploring him to see reason and understand her valid emotions.
"I have been so incredibly excited just to tell my own mother about this. And you..." She paused briefly, before looking down at the bar; unable to maintain eye contact any longer. "You asked me not to tell anybody about it. Do you realize how hard that is? Or even how unfair it is? To make me keep this news all to myself, that I just truly want to be happy about? And recently, I've been thinking about that; you do know that it feels a little silly to be hiding something this major from our own friends and family -- right? I'm not asking to announce it to the whole world yet Bill, I just wanted to privately tell our families."
Bill exhaled calmly, trying not to let his grip on his patience slip from him. Of course, he understood why she wanted to tell them all; he certainly wasn't impractical or uncaring in that sense. However, there were other underlying issues at the center of why they had both agreed to keep it quiet.
"I get that, I truly do. But Nat, we talked about this and you even agreed to it. You said that you understood the reasons we needed to keep it quiet. I told you, that with IT coming out -- things are going to change. If everything goes the way I hope they do, my career could be taking off. That means more offers, more auditions, more projects, more locations and with that comes more attention. Not all of that attention is going to be good either. If news about the engagement gets out, even through an accidental post on social media from one of our friends or family members, you could be dealing with a hoard of female fans talking massive shit about you, stalking you online, or following you around in real life -- and making your life absolutely miserable. And all of it, would be because you're with me! That's not even including the fact that we've been fighting more over the past almost several months. If I'm being perfectly honest here," he sighed, before turning back to her and grabbing her left hand in his right one. "I'm not sure if that would be something we would survive, because we have more than enough issues without that being added on top of our plates."
Natalia sat back in stunned silence, unable to fathom that he genuinely said that out loud to her. Her act of telling their families, couldn't have happened at a better time, as it became increasingly more evident that he really was planning on ending things with her. All she knew in that instant, was that she had to turn the tide of this conversation, back in her favor and quickly -- or entire plan would only dissolve from here.
"Are you --" her eyes filled with tears, threatening to spill over and down her lightly blushed cheeks, while she sniffled. "Are you ashamed of me?"  Quickly, she pulled her hand back from his and stood up from her seat. Anger surged throughout her body, causing her cheeks to heat up in embarrassment and tears began to shine through her eyes, as Bill was left with emotional whiplash at what was happening.
"What? Natalia, no! That's not what I'm saying," he swiftly attempted to explain, but he knew it would be no use.
"That's what it feels like you're saying! It feels like you're saying that you don't think I know what lies ahead, or that I'm even strong enough to handle it! Do you really think so little of me?" Turning on her heel, she briskly walked back into the kitchen area and picked up the aluminum foil again -- trying her hardest to hold it together and finish her task of re-wrapping their leftovers.
"Where the hell did you even get the idea that I was ashamed of you? I never said that at all," Bill's frustrations were growing by the millisecond, as he stood up from his own spot at the bar. "I explain to you that I'm afraid of something, and suddenly that somehow means I'm ashamed of you? You always manage to do this! Every single fucking time, Natalia! You run off and do something on your own, never ask me how I may feel about it before you do it -- and then you get pissed off when I don't react the way you think I should. You did it right before I came back home too!" He finished accusingly, as he pointed a finger at her.
Just like that, the fuse was ignited and neither of them was prepared to back down from this long-overdue fight.
Propriety could be damned, he didn't care if his voice was starting to elevate anymore, because this thing right here -- was exactly what the main problem was between them. And honestly, Bill was at his wit's end with the drama she brought to the table in this relationship.
"So that's what this is about! You're still mad at the fact that I tried to book a private getaway for us, for when you got back home from Toronto? Jesus Christ, Bill!" She slammed the plastic see-through dish on the stove, as she shook her head and began to laugh sarcastically. "Excuse the fuck out of me, for trying to spend time with my fiance after not being able to see him for three fucking months!"
"Actually, I wasn't upset about that incident anymore and was more or less using that as an example; but yes -- you go off and do things, all the while, you don't even bother to include me in the equation at all! It's like I've become an afterthought to you! Did it ever occur to you, that I wanted to come home, see my family and actually spend some time with my mother? She's getting older, Natalia! I won't have her around forever!" He leaned across the bar carefully, both arms stretched out with his palms braced across the surface; narrowing his eyes at her.
Natalia pressed her lips together, as she pulled out a sheet of aluminum foil from the pack and set it off to the side.
"You’ve been acting like a jackass, since you've been away." The moment that allegation left her lips, Bill scoffed.
"Me being gone for work has nothing to do with this. We’ve been at each other’s throats even before I left. Have you ever tried considering the fact, that I may be annoyed by the continuous fighting we do all of the time? We fight over the most ridiculous bullshit! And if we’re not fighting, we’re fucking. I told you over the phone a few weeks ago, this shit needed to stop and here we are -- right back at it again!”
The sound of a wooden spoon scraping against the ceramic plate filled the room, as she finally set it down and wiped her hands on the hand towel that was hanging off the oven door.
"Let me ask you a question, do you even love me anymore? Because I love you, Bill! But Jesus fucking Christ, I really feel like you don't love me at all."
That one question managed to hit him dead center in his chest, almost knocking the wind right out of him. Just then, it was as if he were transported back to that nightmare with Natalia and Y/N both hanging in the tree, with their chests cut open and their hearts were laid out his hands. He was fearful of answering that question, because he didn't want to essentially rip the proverbial heart out of her chest and destroy her like this.
Now, it was Bill's turn to sound defeated. Without another word, he didn't wait for her reaction as he turned around and began walking down the hallway. Taking a couple of minutes to clear her own head, she finished wrapping the plastic bowl and stuck it on the bottom shelf in the refrigerator; wondering if she finally pushed everything too far.
Finally, she pushed herself away from the large appliance and decided to follow him down the hallway. If she were expecting to see him feeling defeated, she was in for a rude awakening; instead -- she found him packing his bags again.
"Bill, what are you doing?" The hesitation caused her voice to slightly crack, as she watched him continue to put more clothes into his suitcase.
He never spoke a word, as he ignored and pushed past her. Instead, he moved into their shared bathroom. Once he collected what he needed, he snapped the light back off and made his way back to the bedroom -- packing his toiletries away. After he was finished a few moments later, he belatedly glanced over at her. For the first time since this argument began, he noticed her silently crying as she watched him.
"I fell for you before I ever put that ring on your finger," he stated carefully. "I didn't think I could ever find someone who could potentially make me happy, and for a while -- you did. But we're changing Natalia, and I don't like the people we're changing into."
"So you want to run away, instead of facing our problems? Vad är det som du inte berättar för mig?" Her lips trembled, as she stood there -- waiting for an answer.
"Natalia," there was a delay, as he tried to take a step towards her. Natalia, on the other hand, took a quick step back. Her eyeliner and mascara were running carelessly down her cheeks, creating dark streaks which made him feel even worse.
"I'm saying we should use the time while I'm away in California working, to think about what we both want. Because we cannot keep going like this. It’s not fair to either of us. I’m not saying it’s over right now, I’m saying let’s take this time apart while I’m gone, to think and once I come back -- we can sit down and decide once and for all where we go from here.” 
With that, he grabbed the handle of his large rolling suitcase and walked out of their shared apartment. Leaving a shocked and struggling Natalia behind. 
He hadn’t ended it with her, but he did let her know that they needed time apart. And that was the opening a reeling and emotional Natalia needed, to enact the next step in her plan. 
____
[Extended Author's Notes: Trust me, I'm shaking my head at Bill too! Bonehead! You should have just ended it with her while you had the chance!
I get why he didn't, because that's got to be a mind fuck where you're feeling your back against the wall, flashing back to a nightmare where you think you've ripped out her heart already and you don't want to hurt someone...
But man, I have to hand it to Natalia, the girl knows how to manipulate a situation when things are going off the rails. She saw what was coming, and threw a massive roadblock in Bill's path. She is not the one to play with, and Bill may have bitten off more than he can chew with her. He's obviously figured out, that he's backed into a wall; so it'll be interesting to see how if he's able to keep up the facade and find a way out of the mess he created -- or if things are going to blow up in his face.
One small part of me, feels a tiny bit bad that Bill is in this conundrum. After all, he started dating Natalia, because he was attempting to get over his feelings for Y/N in the first place; which he felt were always going to remain unrequited on the readers end. He and Natalia have had a bumpy road, but overall he did care about her and even asked her to marry him -- only for everything to finally come together with Y/N (who doesn't know about his engagement)... And now, it's all a big mess.
Now, our boy finally has the woman he's wanted all along and had finally mustered up the courage to tell Natalia it was over -- and she blew his plans all to hell!
Speaking of Bill though, I wonder where he's running off to after failing to completely break it off with Nattie... Guess you'll have to wait until the next chapter to find out lol.
____
And finally: If you've enjoyed this chapter, please don't forget to (kindly) leave a vote and/or comment! Each vote and comment helps more people see this story; so please be kind and submit a vote/comment before you leave.
And if you don't want to leave a vote on this particular chapter, just go back and leave on the chapters you liked the most.
I hope you're having a wonderful day/evening/night.
Take care lovelies, see you in two weeks (or less) with the next chapter! --ImaginationLane xoxo]
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milkchu · 5 years
Text
❝anyway the wind blows❞ eight.
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Summary: (Y/N) Mercury’s journey of love, fame, and pain, alongside what would become one of the most legendary bands ever, Queen.
Pairing: Borhap!Queen x Reader, eventual Brian May x Reader
A/N: sorry for the late update! also, this chapter hurted™️. happy reading! 💓
Warnings: swearing, implied use of drugs, cheating and sex, angst
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“In the studio today…singer (Y/N) Mercury!” Kenny spoke in the microphone, continuing, “So what have you got today for us?”
Right after you all had left and quit from Foster’s hold, All the boys, especially Brian was worried about what would be the outcome of the new album. You reassured him that you would take care of it, which is why you’re at the radio station right now, with your good friend, Kenny Everett.
“Have you got a little taste of the new record?” Kenny reached over to the record in your hand, with a smug smile on his face.
You played along, twirling it around your fingers, “I’m really not supposed to.”
“Oh, forbidden fruit? Don’t tempt me,” He said, before finally getting a hold of the record before reading the name written on it, “Oh, I’m in Love with My Car!”
You rolled your eyes, “Other side.”
“Bohemian Rhapsody.”
Behind the glass window separating the recording booth from the waiting area, Paul and Matthew sat on the couch, watching the two of you talking to each other.
“I didn’t know (Y/N) knew Kenny so well,” Matthew spoke up, looking at the pair with a blank stare.
Paul chuckled, “Nor did I.”
“The BBC won’t play it. In fact, no one will play it on the radio so EMI won’t release it,” You said, twirling the glass of champagne in your hand.
Matthew stood up from his seat, and walked closer to the window to get a better view. Though, he noticed something peculiar, he couldn’t quite put his finger on it.
“What’s wrong with this song?” Kenny asked.
“Nothing’s wrong with it at all,” You leaned closer, speaking in a lower voice, “Except that it’s six minutes long.”
“Six minutes?”
“You’d have to be mad to play it,” You smirked.
Kenny squinted his eyes at you, “Oh, you’d have to be bonkers.”
“I positively forbid it.”
Matthew continued to watch by the window, you sending him some smiles here and there, and he would smile back, but he could sense something was wrong.
“Let’s hear it!” Kenny said, before clinking your glasses together, “Ladies and ladies, a Capital Radio exclusive for the first time ever…Bohemian Rhapsody!”
Is this the real life?
Is this just fantasy?
The song definitely received a lot of reviews, most of them negative, describing the song as meandering and meaningless, pompous and overlong, or calling your own band, a wannabe Led Zeppelin.
But, you know what?
Fuck the critics.
“So you think you can stone me and spit in my eye?” You sang with all your heart, the Edinburgh crowd shouting along.
So you think you can love me and leave me to die?
Oh, baby
Can’t do this to me, baby
Just gotta get out
Just gotta get right outta here
You threw your microphone and leather jacket off, and sat down on the piano as the end of the song was approaching.
Matthew, Miami, and Paul were watching from above, Paul speaking to Matthew, “How much do they love her? Can’t get enough.”
Nothing really matters
Anyone can see
Nothing really matters
Nothing really matters to me
Miami mouthed along to the song, while Matthew just smiled softly at your playing figure, watching as you drowned yourself in the music, your fingers dancing along the keys.
As Brian’s guitar sounded through your ears, he looked over to you with a small smile, as the your cue was fast approaching.
Anyway the wind blows
When Roger signaled a new beginning for the band with just that simple sound of the echoing gong, you didn’t know what else was coming your way.
Liverpool. Tokyo. Detroit. Perth. Glasgow. New York. London. Boston. Santa Monica. Osaka. Chicago. Pittsburgh. Sydney. And then finally, Rio.
You felt like you couldn’t hear anything anymore as the crowds everywhere, you don’t even remember anymore, were deafening and wild, and you fucking loved it.
It was definitely a new beginning, you finally got a new hairstyle for heaven’s sake.
You stood by the phone booth just a robe, speaking into the phone, “Tom, Jerry, can you hear me?”
Matthew, on the other side of the call, rubbed his brow as he was tired from the long shifts and just wanted to see you, “(Y/N), when do I get to see you?”
“I’ll be home soon, darling,” You replied, “Will you put Romeo on the phone so I can tell him I miss him?”
As the said cat purred into Matthew’s touch, he asked softly, “Do you miss me?”
You paused. You never paused at anything.
“What a stupid question,” You chuckled, “Of course I do,” Matthew immediately noticing the change in tone in your voice.
Matthew felt a tug on his heart, his smile falling right away.
You looked over to your left, seeing as Paul was talking to a man you’ve never seen before, gesturing towards you. You also swore you saw the man reach into his pocket for a plastic bag and handed it over to Paul. You know what it is.
Matthew whispered into the phone, “I love you,” Just to make sure.
“Good night,” You hung up, before walking towards the pair. You never said it back.
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When you woke up to the Rio sunlight blinding the whole room, Paul was sitting casually on the table, reading the daily news, while the man from last night laid down on the couch, in just a pair of boxers.
The room was a complete mess. Empty wine glasses filled the coffee table, along with the plastic bag from last night that was now empty, as the contents of it were smeared across the glass table.
Walking towards the window that looks out to the city, you felt an ache in your body. A familiar ache. The one that you always felt with Matthew.
Paul smirked at the sight of your slightly limping left leg, before turning back to the newspaper in his hands.
As you looked towards the beautiful view of Rio, completely contrasting what has happened in your own hotel room last night, you spoke up, “Clean this mess up and get rid of your friend.”
Paul snapped at the yawning man, “Get dressed,” Before the man immediately stood up and gathered all his clothes and left the hotel room, hopefully all the negative energy and thoughts leaving along with him.
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Kneeling in front of the television to make sure the video was working, you looked over to your boyfriend, who was sitting on the couch, “According to Brian...it was the largest paying audience in history.”
Walking over beside Matthew, you sat down, Matthew adjusting his position to get a better look at the television, who currently had Brian on it, playing the guitar, who looked kind of tense, probably because it was such a large crowd.
“The whole night, I didn’t know if they understood a thing I was saying. And then…”
Love of my life, you’ve hurt me
Instead of hearing your own voice, you heard the large crowd of Rio singing the song.
You’ve broken my heart
And now you leave me
Love of my life, can’t you see?
Matthew smiled softly at the television as the lyrics filled his ears, while you just simply watched your boyfriend in admiration.
Bring it back, bring it back
Don’t take it away from me
Because you don’t know what it means to me
“They’re all singing,” You began, “Thousands of them. All singing to you.”
Matthew looked back towards you, before you continued, “Because it’s true.”
He noticed something wrong, as you weren’t looking at him when you said those things. You always looked at him. “(Y/N), what’s wrong?”
He adjusted his position to face you completely, a serious look on his face, “Something’s been wrong for a while now.”
You couldn’t look at him in the eye. He was right. “Say it,” He whispered.
Finally looking at him in the eyes, you couldn’t say anything before Matthew said it once more, in a louder tone, “Say it.”
“I’ve been thinking about it a lot,” You gulped, before finally saying, “I think we’re drifting apart.”
Matthew sighed, before saying it, the real truth that hit you right in the chest, “(Y/N), you cheated on me.”
Not knowing what to say, you simply looked at Matthew with a seemingly blank stare, but you were undoubtedly hurting on the inside. He swiftly stood up and walked towards the window.
With his back turned towards you, you could only hear him sniffling with the sounds of the television contrasting it, “I’ve known for a while now. I just didn’t want to admit it.”
“It’s funny, really. This is what I always settle for,” Matthew began, breathing shakily.
“I love you, but…”
“I love you, Matthew, but I need space.”
“I love you, Matthew, but I’m busy.”
“And now, I love you, Matthew, but I’ve met someone else...”
Each statement that he mentioned was like a bullet that went for your heart, it hurt. It hurt because it was all true.
Matthew glanced over to the television, knowing who or what, you truly loved, instead of him.
You swiftly walked towards him, wrapping your arms around his waist, his hands immediately pushing you away before facing you completely, “What do you want from me?”
Tears filled your eyes, finally saying the truth, “Almost everything.”
“I want you in my life.”
Matthew’s eyes were bloodshot, tears threatening to fall down his cheeks, he glanced at your hands, thumb moving against the small stone on the ring on your finger before whispering, “Why?”
“We believe in each other. And that’s everything. For us.” You both leaned in closer, his hand placing itself on your cheek, his thumb wiping away your single fallen tear.
“Your life is going to be very difficult.”
And with that, he was gone.
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atwb taglist; @yoonlatte // @alexfayer // @everything-you-dont-wanna-be // @itsametaphorbriansblog // @marequeenii // @killer-queen-xo // @jedi-dreea // @achernarsaa // @nevaeh-potter15 // @banana-tree-freddiemercury // @rogertaylorssunglasses // @pyrotechnic789 // @mirkwoodshewolf // @stuff-exists // @toger-raylor // @langdonzvoid // @imamazzellhoe // @tbird20165 // @destiel-stucky4ever-loki-queen // @theswedishblonde // @oliviaharddyy // @sunflower-borhap-boys
other tags; @monochromedeacon // @b-hardys // @spideyyypeter // @hunterswearingplaid // @livingforrt // @bensrhapsody
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milkchu · 5 years
Text
❝anyway the wind blows❞ nine.
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Summary: (Y/N) Mercury’s journey of love, fame, and pain, alongside what would become one of the most legendary bands ever, Queen.
Pairing: Borhap!Queen x Reader, eventual Brian May x Reader
A/N: ngl this chapter really hurts. it’s also kinda short btw. happy (or sad) reading! 💓
Warnings: swearing, ANGST.
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London, 1980
“What do you think?” You asked Brian, grinning widely after turning back from your huge framed picture of Marlene Dietrich.
Brian seemed to study your face a little bit, a small smile on his face as he looked at your now newly cut hair that he thought fit you perfectly.
“Beautiful,” He breathed, making your heart flutter, but you let out a ‘tsk’ before saying, “Not this darling,” You pointed to your face, before gesturing to the new mansion you just bought, “The house!”
“Isn’t it amazing?” You smiled as you walked around, decoration plans already coming to mind, Brian following you.
“Matthew’s already moved in next door, so he can visit the cats and me.”
“Uh-huh,” Brian said, looking up at the high-ceiling, wondering how the hell this huge mansion can only be occupied by you, and the cats, of course.
“Each cat will have his own room!” You bubbled, Brian letting out a soft chuckle at your excitement.
“Delilah’s by the kitchen, Miko’s next door....”
“Tiffany, Oscar, and Romeo, all upstairs!”
“Lilly’s room is even larger than this one! Spoilt thing.”
“Well, I’m not sure the echo is quite pronounced enough,” Brian joked, walking back towards you in the living room with a chandelier on top.
You chuckled, before singing out, “Ay-oh!”, Brian letting out a soft laugh at you.
“Oh, I knew you’d appreciate it,” You smiled, placing your hand on his shoulder, before continuing, “Stay for dinner! Anything you fancy.”
Brian sighed, before saying, “I can’t. Wife, kids, you know.”
Your smile immediately fell. You swore you felt your heart ache a little, but nodded at him, a forced smile forming at your lips, “Of course.”
But, you still insisted. “Oh, come on! We’ll eat off the floor, it’s clean enough!” You jested.
Brian grinned but then sighed, patting your shoulder, “Another time, (Y/N/N).”
Yup, your heart definitely ached even more.
But, your lonely thoughts were soon gone when you felt long arms wrap around you, pulling you into an embrace. You closed your eyes at the contact, wanting so desperately to stay like this forever. But, he pulled away.
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As soon as Brian left, you immediately felt so alone, even with the company of your cats. Alone. That’s what you were. So, you decided to call a certain someone that night.
Dialing in Matthew’s number on your phone, you waited anxiously, heart beating fast before he answered, “Hello?”
“Matthew?”
“Hi,” Matthew answered. You immediately noticed he was panting a little bit.
“Hello, my love,” You smiled to yourself.
Matthew chuckled, “Hi,” before you heard a muffled giggle in the background. A female one. That’s not you.
“Did I catch you at a bad time?” You chuckled.
“Uh-no, no, no, you didn’t!” He stuttered before he let out a soft giggle, then making a ‘shhh’ sound, probably at his female companion.
“Do you need something, (Y/N)?” He asked.
You wanted to talk to him. Just to hear his voice again.
“Oh, uh, no. Just wanted to see how you’re doing.” You said, feeling tears forming in your eyes.
“Are you okay?” He asked with sudden concern.
You let out a sniffle, before rapidly wiping your tears away, “Yeah, I am. I’m okay.”
“(Y/N)...”
“Well, I hope you enjoy your night, Matthew! Goodbye.”
“(Y/N)-” But you hung up. He didn’t need you. Right?
Letting out a sigh, you rid of your tears again, before sitting down on the piano bench, dialing another number. Someone who doesn’t make you feel alone for once.
“Paul?”
“(Y/N)?”
“Sweetheart, I want to throw a party.”
“Okay, who do you want to invite?”
You scoffed, “People!”
“I want you to shake the freak tree and invite anyone who plops to the ground.”
Paul laughed in response, before you continued, “Dwarfs and giants, magicians, Zulu tribesmen, contortionists, fire eaters,”
“And priests,” You smirked.
“We’re going to need to confess.”
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Striding down you staircase, with your royal crown and ermine robe on, the crowd erupted with laughs and cheers.
Walking over to Paul and Reid, Paul went behind you and undid your robe, revealing your short dress that was a two-piece with a tube top and some jewel embellishments on it.
“Fill me up, will you, Trixie?” You joked to Paul.
“Marvelous, (Y/N)! You’ve outdone yourself!” Reid said to you, patting your shoulder.
You grinned, walking over to the dwarf in the other room, “Thank you, John. I’m so glad you love it!” Before you took the two small boxes from Tiffany’s from him.
“They say money can’t buy happiness, darlings!” You exclaimed, throwing one in the air. “But it does allow you to give it away!” You gave the other one to a random woman.
“I see you and Paul are getting along quite well,” Reid said to your ear.
“He’s Trixie now! ‘Cause he’s always up to something,” You grabbed a glass of champagne from a waiter.
You walked through the crowd, trying to find your way to the living room, until you went up to a man you’ve met before, whispering some things into his ear, then walked away.
Finally reaching the living room, you found your three mates, along with their wives, sitting on the couches in the middle.
“Well, well, well!” You put your arms up, twirling around before Brian greeted you, chuckling at your ensemble with the crown, “Ah, your majesty!”
“No, I’m not her majesty! We’re her majesty, darling!” You exclaimed, before jumping down on the free seat, your champagne spilling out a little bit, making everybody laugh.
“Cheers!” You held your glass up, before everybody said the same, clinking your glasses together.
“Where’s Matthew?” You looked around, before Brian responded, sighing, “It’s not exactly his scene, is it, (Y/N)?”
Your smile fell a little bit, as you took your crown off, placing it near by Deacy’s seat, before breaking into a smile again, “Fabulous, isn’t it?”
Brian nodded, “If you say so.”
Paul then came in, refilling your glass without saying anything.
“You two are close now, huh?” Brian said, gesturing to your and Paul.
“What’s wrong with that, Brian?” Paul smirked.
“You’re supposed to be with Queen, (Y/N). Not the Village People,” Brian joked.
You laughed in response, “You might want to think about cutting your hair one day!” Grinning at him.
“Never. I was born like this,” He smiled, pointing to himself, everybody laughing in response.
Hearing Super Freak by Rick James suddenly come on, you stood up, “Come on!”
“Let’s dance!”
Brian squinted his eyes, shaking his head, “I don’t dance, (Y/N).”
“I need a few more of these for that,” Deacy joked, holding his drink up.
“It’s my party, and I demand you dance!” You exclaimed to them, “By royal decree!” before you noticed Roger and Dominique stand up and walk towards you, “We’re gonna go, actually.”
You frowned at the blond, “Oh, God! You’re dull. If you were any more dull, you’d be Deacy.”
“What are you complaining about?” Roger said, in a serious tone, “You’ve got your little pet,” He glared over at Paul.
You followed his gaze and decided to fire back at him, “I have, and he’s loyal,” You stared at Roger, “Loyalty’s so important. Don’t you think, Dominique?” You looked over to her.
“Careful, (Y/N/N),” Roger warned as you casually sipped on your drink, before he said to his Dominique, “Let’s go.” Brian and Chrissie standing up to leave as well.
They both brushed past you, leaving the room. “Where are you going?” You whined, “Just a joke!”
Brian and Chrissie walked up to you before Brian said something that completely crushed your heart, his hand on your shoulder, 
“(Y/N), sometimes you’re a total bitch.”
Then leaving. Chrissie looking at you sadly but greeting you goodnight. Deacy and Veronica following.
You felt your chest ache as all of them left. Looking at the floor with tears threatening to come out of your eyes.
Paul then interrupted your thoughts, “Forget them. Come on! Your guests are waiting!”
“They all want a little Mercury in their cup.”
You both smirked, before Paul pushed, “Come on!”
Walking over to the couch, you stood up on it, “All right!”
You raised your glass up, “My darlings…”
“The time has finally come…”
“To get absolutely...shit-faced!”
The entire house erupted with cheers, but little did you know, a certain curly-haired friend of yours heard your little announcement.
Shaking his head as he felt nothing but pity for you at that moment.
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milkchu · 5 years
Text
❝anyway the wind blows❞ six.
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Summary: (Y/N) Mercury’s journey of love, fame, and pain, alongside what would become one of the most legendary bands ever, Queen.
Pairing: Borhap!Queen x Reader, eventual Brian May x Reader
A/N: sorry for the late chapter! was a pain to write that one scene bleughgihghghgdh happy reading! 💓
Warnings: Swearing, some angst, that P*ul Pr*nt*r scene ew
{previous chapter} {next chapter}
Rockfield Farm, 1975
“Recording studio?” Roger said, looking around the farm with a puzzled gaze.
 “Well, the idea was to get away from all distractions,” Paul replied, grabbing the suitcases from the trunk.
As you all entered the little house that you will all be staying in, you all followed Paul up the stairs to head to your rooms.
“Right, I know it’s not the Ritz. Not even close,” Paul pointed to the first door to the left, “Roger, you’re in here.”
 “Right,” Roger sighed, entering the door before Paul continued, “(Y/N), this is you. Biggest room,” He smiled, as you passed him to enter your room.
“Brian, that’s you. John, you’re downstairs.” He said, as he gestured John to follow him.
As soon as you settled into your bedroom, you immediately grabbed your notebook and sat by the window.
You’ve been working on a song lately, and it was for B- Matthew. As cliche as it sounds, it was very difficult to write since words cannot express how much you loved Matthew.
Thinking of all the memories you’ve shared with him, you immediately scribbled on the paper, feeling tears fill your eyes.
Chuckling lightly as you thought of a line, your hand shakes as you start to breathe in deeply, trying not to get too emotional.
But, you did.
Leaning back onto your seat with a small smile, “Oh, that’s really good,” You sniffed.
As you tried to finish the song, you finally let it all out, tears dropping onto the paper.
Love of my life, you’ve hurt me
You’ve broken my heart
And now you leave me
Love of my life, can’t you see?
Bring it back, bring it back
Bring it back, bring it back
Don’t take it away from me
Because you don’t know
What it means to me
When your fingers stopped dancing along the black and white keys, you swore you felt tears rushing through your eyes again.
Trying to ignore it, you leaned over the table next to you and took some notes.
“It’s beautiful,” Paul said, sitting down on the seat not far from the piano.
He stood up from his position and walked towards you, “What’s it called?”
“Love of My Life. I wrote it for Matthew,” You smiled, the brunette coming into your mind again.
“If you say so,” Paul replied, before taking another drag and reaching over you to extinguish the cigarette on the ashtray near you.
As you took some more notes, clearly aware of the very close proximity between you and Paul, you felt his heavy breathing and gaze on you.
Shrugging it off, you just continued to write until you suddenly felt a pair of lips smash themselves against yours.
As your lips moved against each other for far too long, you pulled away quickly, your hand on his chest, but not pushing away.
His hand squeezed your shoulder, as he looked down on you with an almost hungry gaze.
You looked up at him, biting your lip before letting out a chuckle, “Don’t, don’t misunderstand, Paul,” You shook your head, “Matthew knows me in a way that no one else ever will.”
Paul pulled your chin up to look towards him, “I know you, (Y/N) Mercury.”
“Is that what you think? Oh no, you don’t know me,” You smirked, pulling his hand away from your chin, “You just see what you want to see.”
“We work together, that’s all.”
 The next morning
“What does that even mean, ‘not strong enough’?” Roger fumed, before you walked into the kitchen.
“I know I’m late, what did I miss?” You asked, as you walked over beside John, grabbing a cup of coffee.
“Discussing Roger’s car song,” John sighed, before Brian added, “Is it strong enough? That’s all I’m asking. If I’m on my own here, then I apologize,” He held his hands up.
Roger looked at each of them in disbelief before pointing over to Brian, “How does your new song go then, hm?”
After he hastily grabbed the paper in front of Brian, “You call me sweet… like I’m some kind of cheese.”
“It’s good,” Brian nodded, before Roger barked, “Wow!”
“When my hand’s on your grease gun...That’s very subtle isn’t it?” Brian read out loud from Roger’s lyrics.
You and John were just trying hard not to laugh at these two idiots argue over their songs.
“It’s a metaphor, Brian!” Roger argued before John replied, “It’s just a bit weird, Roger, what exactly are you doing with that car?”
“Children, please. We can all murder each other but then who would be left to record this album?” You disputed, putting down your coffee on the table.
“Statistically speaking, most bands don’t fail, they break up,” John added.
“Why the hell would you say something like that?” You looked at John with a frown, before he shrugged.
“Roger, there’s only room in this band for one hysterical queen,” You stated, before taking a box of cigarettes and leaving the room.
As soon as you left the room, you already heard plates and glasses breaking, Roger screaming, which was totally normal.
“Not the coffee machine!”
Chuckling to yourself, you shook your head because you didn’t get to see what was happening in the kitchen once you left.
As you walked through the farm, you let all the sights in, breathing in the smell of grass and cold air.
After taking a drag, you began to walk more until you reached the house, mind immediately switching on the sound of that tune that you played for Matthew for the first time.
Throwing away the cigarette, you immediately walked towards the house and went inside.
Goodbye, everybody
I’ve got to go
Gotta leave you all behind and face the truth
Mama, ooh, ooh, ooh
I don’t wanna die
I sometimes wish I’d never been born at all
Gasping as your fingers paused on the keys, you let out a breath and laughed softly to yourself,
This is it.
 Bonus:
 This was it. This was the song.
You let out a chuckle, immediately grabbing your notebook and started writing down notes for this new song.
As you were scribbling, your door suddenly slammed open to reveal John with a clearly frustrated expression.
“Roger locked himself in the cupboard.”
atwb taglist; @yoonlatte // @alexfayer // @everything-you-dont-wanna-be // @itsametaphorbriansblog // @marequeenii // @killer-queen-xo // @jedi-dreea // @achernarsaa // @nevaeh-potter15 // @banana-tree-freddiemercury // @rogertaylorssunglasses // @pyrotechnic789 // @mirkwoodshewolf // @stuff-exists // @toger-raylor // @langdonzvoid // @imamazzellhoe // @tbird20165 // @destiel-stucky4ever-loki-queen // @theswedishblonde // @oliviaharddyy
others; @monochromedeacon // @b-hardys // @spideyyypeter // @hunterswearingplaid
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“39 Shades” Ch. 1 tags
CHAPTER ONE HERE
Have to tag you separate because Tumblr only lets 50 get tagged at once.
@queensilveryrog @rethought @crazylittlethingcalledobsession @rushingheadlong @lapofthemusicgods @iwanttoridemybri @trymymachines @xlucylennonx @stephydearestxo @bohemiansweede @disasterdeacy @hannafuckingsucks @caborhapch @delilahmay39 @im-just-a-musical-prostitute @mrfahrenhcit @rogerseyeliner @rocknrollsavedmysoul13 @reedusteinrambles @theswedishblonde @theangrylizard @fflowerxchild @spacedust1124719 @amcquivey
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39 Shades tags
Chapter 3 is up!
@queensilveryrog @rethought @crazylittlethingcalledobsession @rushingheadlong @lapofthemusicgods @iwanttoridemybri @trymymachines @xlucylennonx @stephydearestxo @bohemiansweede @disasterdeacy @hannafuckingsucks @caborhapch @delilahmay39 @im-just-a-musical-prostitute @mrfahrenhcit @rogerseyeliner @rocknrollsavedmysoul13 @reedusteinrambles @theswedishblonde @theangrylizard @fflowerxchild @spacedust1124719 @amcquivey @misskvegas @just-alysssa @radio-hoo-ha @painkiller80 @rocknrollsavedmysoul13 @reedusteinrambles @theswedishblonde @theangrylizard @notevenlxvely @awkwardangelshezza @backchatdiscourse
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Obligatory taglist post
39 Shades chapter 4 is up.
@queensilveryrog @rethought @crazylittlethingcalledobsession @rushingheadlong @lapofthemusicgods @iwanttoridemybri @trymymachines @xlucylennonx @stephydearestxo @bohemiansweede @disasterdeacy @hannafuckingsucks @caborhapch @delilahmay39 @im-just-a-musical-prostitute @mrfahrenhcit @rogerseyeliner @rocknrollsavedmysoul13 @theangrylizard @fflowerxchild @spacedust1124719 @misskvegas @just-alysssa @radio-hoo-ha @painkiller80 @rocknrollsavedmysoul13 @reedusteinrambles @theswedishblonde @theangrylizard @goodoldfashioned--queenie @notevenlxvely @awkwardangelshezza @backchatdiscourse
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Obligatory tag post
Finale of 39 Shades is up. 👍🏼
@queensilveryrog @rethought @crazylittlethingcalledobsession @rushingheadlong @lapofthemusicgods @iwanttoridemybri @trymymachines @xlucylennonx @stephydearestxo @bohemiansweede @disasterdeacy @hannafuckingsucks @caborhapch @delilahmay39 @im-just-a-musical-prostitute @mrfahrenhcit @rogerseyeliner @reedusteinrambles @theswedishblonde @theangrylizard @fflowerxchild @spacedust1124719 @amcquivey @misskvegas @just-alysssa @radio-hoo-ha @painkiller80 @rocknrollsavedmysoul13 @theangrylizard @goodoldfashioned--queenie @notevenlxvely @awkwardangelshezza @backchatdiscourse
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