#these were honestly so fun I kinda would wanna do more lmaooooo

[rodentbloodart]

I needed some bg assets for a piece I'm working on and decided my time would be 100% best be spent spending several days making unique snack brands based off my friends and fav artists loooool lotta these are just what I thought would fit best but some are just straight up memes lmaooo either way it was fun to make 'em all and I got to practice bg objects so win win character's belong to: @alfafilly Smashmat on Bluesky, @ekstez @stupidshepherd @ariallybadpun @xxslurkuxx @lilaira @vmod @smokyjack and Vaxsin (and there's a random enderman themed product just cause I thought a ramune soda with an eye of ender as the marble was cool / funny get it they don't like da water so it's kinda fucked up )

[snickiebear]

yo nadia <3333 i'm bored in my online classes and u reblogged the questions thingy at the right time lmao, so get ready: 1, 4, 5, 9, 10, 17, 23, 24, 28, 30!!!, 34, 38, 39, 40 (the intimacy of being understood) (imma stop here lol) (also i'm sorry u're not feeling well, ily and hope u'll feel better soon!! <33333)

ELE ILY. (and thank you, i’m stayin home today cause,,, yeah. i appreciate you sm.) you’re the literal best, i adore you. 

1. How long ago did you start reading fanfiction? Writing fanfiction?

The first fanfiction i read was for The Lunar Chronicles when I was like 11?? and it was 100% on accident and it scarred me because it was a hardcore porn one with a period kink and i was like WHAT IS THIS??? OH MY GOD???? LMAOOOOO i didn’t pick it back up until i was 13-14 and really got into the Fairy Tail fandom. I still reread my favorites on ff.net cause i love them. 

As for writing, I wrote a horrible, terrible x-men fanfiction when I was twelve. (my friend still brings it up and REFUSES to delete it so it still gets comments and views, that shit HAUNTS ME ELE.) then tried again for Fairy Tail, posted like two chapters before taking it down cause i wasn’t really feeling it. And then I posted The Intimacy Of Being Understood and here we are. 

4. Link your three favorite fics right now.

OMGG okok 

@murd3rm1ttens ‘s The Problem How Time Works IF YOU HAVENT READ THIS YOU GUYS NEED TO HOP ON IT ASAP. MITTEN’S WRITING SO SO SO SO GOOD. SAKURA AND INO ARE TOTAL BADASSES. KAKASHI IS A SIMPPPP. ITS SO FUCKING GOOD. 

@mouseymightymarvellous ‘s We Were Screaming In Color (Only A Possibility) yes, yes I KNOW. i always point into mousey’s direction but i WILL always advocate that everyone reads her fics, they’re literally so beautiful???? i just happen to be rereading WWSIN rn 

@safelycapricious ‘s Shaking Up And Breaking Down series. I found this like?? idfk but i’ve been raving about it ever since. ALSO CHECK OUT THEIR FICS IN GENERAL. 

fuck i have more than three but also check out @ambivalens999 ‘s Masks

i do wanna make a fic rec thing where i just rav about my favs,,, might do that later or sum

5. What are your fanfic pet peeves? Do they have a huge effect on whether or not you decide to read something?

Omniscient third person. I don’t like it. Like I can understand that it can be a little hard to stay in one person’s perspective but, in my opinion, if you can, it shows how disciplined you are as a writer. Plus, i just get so confused when I go from A’s thoughts to suddenly what B is thinking about A. 

When writers use ‘ ‘ instead of “ “. When writers put thoughts in ‘ ‘ instead of just italicizing them. It’s small things but like they just bother me sO MUCH. most of the time i can ignore it and try to enjoy but other times i just dip. 

9. Tag 3 fic writers you think are underrated/unknown in the fandom/fanfiction community.

@espoir-et-reves !!!!! THEIR SHISAKU FICS ARE SO SO SO SO SO GOOD. And they have a warring states one going on THAT I AM SO OBSESSED WITH. 

@writer168 idk if they’re really “underrated” but THEY HAVE SUCH GREAT FICS ON AO3. Like theres an AU with sakura, kiba, and shino that i reread constantly because it just. is. so. fucking. GOOD. and they posted a new one that i’m YELLING about. 

@eggtoasties okay they only have 2 in the naruto fandom (one shisaku which is still ongoing) BUT THEIR WRITING STYLE IS SO NICE?? I ABSOLUTELY LOVE IT. I still go back and reread their shikasaku one cause UGH i can’t get enough. I love it. 

10. What’s your favorite fandom, pairing, or character to read fic for?

Fandoms: Naruto, Soul Eater, The Old Guard, ATLA

Parings: KakaSaku/ShikaSaku/ShiSaku/MultiSaku, SoMa, Joe X Nicky, Zukka

Character: SAKURA. I will read anything with Sakura as the main character and her being a fuckin badass or becoming a badass. I love her.

17. How obsessively do you sit and stare at your fic after you’ve just posted and wait for feedback?

aha.. haha.. well. I check my email like three times an hour. its the first thing i check in the mornings too. I’m literally a whore for praise and literally eat up feedback like its going out of style. I also reread a lot of my stuff because i make so many mistakes and spelling errors, or the spacing is weird oR SOMETHING. plus, literally any and all comments make my day, i go back and reread them cause they just make me feel so tingly and warm like “wow. this person enjoyed the fic/my writing enough to tell me. thats HUGE!”

23. What’s your absolute favorite trope to write?

Angry, feral, bloodied, morally gray women. They aren’t bad guys, they’re probably the good guy, but that doesn’t mean they cant be fucking raging at the world with raw knuckles and blood on their teeth. I just love an angry woman who struggles with her emotions and just has so much inner conflict but that doesn’t take away from her character or badassery, it adds to it. 

24. What’s a trope that you’d like to never hear about as long as you live, let alone write?

The fake dating or miscommunication troupe. LIKE GUYS JUST TALK. AND TELL EACH OTHER OMFG. the entire like obliviousness of “nah they dont like me” while the They holds their hand and kisses their cheek. MOFO WHAT. it makes me so impatient and like mad HAAHHAHA. its probably because i’m a pretty confrontational person so seeing stuff like that just “cmon bro, USE YO HEAD.”

28. How do you deal with writing pressure (ie: pressure to update, negative comments, deadlines, etc)?

I have yet to receive a negative comment! Which i was really surprised about tbh. As for deadlines or pressure to update, i just kind of do whatever. I do set goals, but i set them flexible enough that hey, if i can’t do it, that’s okay. 

I have a lot of mini goals, like “i want to write this chapter and get it done this week” and then the large goal is “FINISH BY END OF MAY” so i have time. 

Actually, now that I think on it, the entire pressure to update thing is probably why i’m waiting until I have all of OL&W written to post it weekly,, cause well. I wouldn’t wanna leave you guys waiting as I tried to write and work out the next chapters and stuff, you know?

30. Post a snippet from your current WIP without context - no more than 300 words.

AAAAAA YOU KNOW I LOVE THESE AHAHAHAH

Have you seen the way the dead dance, World Breaker? They roar, half mad and starving. Do you not wish, do you not hope to see them twist and bend and dance to your will?

Shikamaru snarls, looking behind his shoulders to where his Shadows lay. “Patience.” He spits. “Is of the essence, Things of Ancient. Know your place as the dark you are.”

34. How much of yourself and your life experiences do you put into your writing? What do you think your readers’ image of you is?

None of my experiences match up to anything I write tbh,,, probably the only thing that is me in my writing is maybe the emotional turmoil? I’m pretty emotionally and mentally mature because from a pretty young age i started forming my own opinions, started looking into the world around us and being like “dude what the fuck this is not what disney advertised”. Then i started talking (read: arguing and debating) with my dad about a lot of it. So, like emotions are kind of hard for me. Like i’m pretty good at controlling them or understanding them, but still. idk its hard to explain ig.

Like the weight of stress, the anger, the sadness. It’s kind of therapeutic to write. Cause i don’t know how to put those feelings to verbal words so writing them really helps. 

As for my readers’ image? Probably like some kind of hunched over figure typing away in the dark with a maniacal grin on their face. I honestly don’t know AHHAHAHA but it is fun to think about. I think they’d see me as someone with potential but a lot of room to grow and someone who is imperfect but in a charming way LMAOOOO

38. What does your writing process look like? How chaotic is it on a scale of 1 (very tame) to 10 (you can’t handle this kind of chaos)?

I’m gonna be real honest. Its probably like a 2. I’m a bit of a control freak so I almost always go in chronological order, my writing is pretty linear. Unless, i get bored and jump to one of my fav parts. It's pretty much i sit down, i open the doc, read over my notes and just start writing. 

It’s a little boring to explain AHAHAHA but once i get into the groove of things its really fucking great, I can like feel myself in the world, I can feel what i want the characters to, i love it. I catch myself mouthing the words as i type too, which i find hilarious.

39. What’s something about your writing that you pride yourself on?

I rather like how raw my writing is sometimes. Which might sound really vain, but i do like the way i word things or describe things. I love juxtaposition and repetition, or making a good ole circle back to some minute detail that wouldn’t stand out until i repeat it at the end and you’re like “omg” AHAHAHAHA.

Like those little poetic snippets or certain wording i just sit back and go “damn thats kinda good nadia! go you!’ HAHAHA  

40. How did you come up with the idea for The Intimacy Of Being Understood?

AAAAA this fic is like my first child, my pride and joy LMAO

so the idea initially came when i was reading some fic, idk if it was even naruto, but i was like “i don't like this, but i do like the rain symbolism.” And I knew i wanted to write something kind of slow paced, something a little sad and angsty, but would show KakaSaku slowly but surely falling in love.

Idk if you’ve noticed but a lot of my fics, the pairings don’t change each other dramatically. They accept each other as they are and then they grow with together. Like that acceptance is something i just love writing, its so subtle, it isn’t something you declare. Its simply “I am going to love you. I am going to love you despite your flaws and faults. I am going to love you unconditionally because I know you, I understand you, and there is nothing you could do to drive me away.” 

The fic kind of wrote itself after that first scene. I kept going back to the rain, go being ghosts, and resurrection, and the small epiphanies one gets. I wanted to focus on each character’s growth with each other. They didn’t find light in life because of each other, but with each other. And i think that’s my favorite thing about that fic. 

I wanted something raw and real and just something beautiful. I’m actually really proud of it tbh. Would i go back and rewrite/edit it? Oh of course! I’d do that with every single one of my fics, but i’m not gonna cause i think its in its rawest form right now. :))))

ask me shit plz

[therodrigator6]

Well, hello there fellers.

You can ignore this text post if you want, it comes straight from me, completely outside of Drawings or Proyect updates.

I just really felt as though I needed to take the time to write up my thoughts into a, very possibly, LOOOOOOOOOOOONG post, since I have a LOT on my head right about now.

So, my melancholy, rather depressing, but perhaps amusing, musings, under the cut.

Right, so my whole string of thought was sort of just... proppeled out of me reminiscing about the past... 2 years, maybe year and a half.

I got thinking hard about She-Ra again, LMAO. and I know, I KNOW, why am I even thinking about that damned show again.

BUT, I was really thinking hard about how much I went through, positively I mean, how much growth I had (Around my art and my vocation obviously) with She-Ra.

And really, if you were to scour through my blog, if you went back all the way to... maybe it was late 2018, early 2019, when I posted my first fanarts around She-Ra, you’ll see how far back I was, skill-wise. I mean I wasn’t exactly a beginner, but I weren’t no Grade A artist neither.

And PRIOR to all of that I had more or less drawn fanart intermitently.

Anyone who followed me back when I made RWBY stuff, specifically Whiterose fanart could attest to that. I wasn’t consistent at all, and I experimented more often than not with every single drawing I was making. And don’t get me wrong, I really enjoyed drawing stuff for RWBY, I sort of miss it now LMAO.

But I can certainly see just HOW POWERFULLY drawn I was to She-Ra, because my output of content and the growth of my skill as an artist was EXPONENTIAL. I suppose in a way I owe it really to MY sudden... obsession? Fixation? on that show.

VERY HONESTLY, at this point in time, I feel like I could REALLY speak on what things drew me to She-Ra, and precisely what things KEPT me there. IDK I think it used to be a very special little show.

On one hand? I really had just decided to watch it because I was starting to fall out of love with RWBY.

RWBY WAS a show I’d also loved, and which also meant a lot to me, but the things that MEANT a lot to me, were just not given the story I would’ve been interested in. That AND the small fandom space I’d carved out for myself was getting even smaller. Smaller AND very... toxic? Uncomfortable? I felt as though... my efforts and my involvement in that fandom were neither welcome nor appreciated at one point, let alone the fact that on the SHIPPING side of things, it stopped being fun.

So there I was, starting She-Ra up. I’d known about it for some time before, and I’d *Heard* that it was a fun good show, and most specially... *With an active, HUNGRY fandom, raging about a very popular Ship*. So I thought to myself, YAY, I’ll watch this show and I’m REALLY gonna do my best to go for everything popular.

I was tired of unwelcoming fandoms, tired of enjoying the very little measly, *Unpopular* things about shows, this was all about having a GOOD time. And maybe finally getting my works out, really finding a motivation to create stuff.

I mean in hindsight, now I know I fucked myself over MANY times.

You see because, as soon as I started watching She-Ra, I TRIED to do something different about the way I consumed shows.

In the past I used to be VERY ship-centered about my show experiences, to the point were FANON-Ship-centric relationships with shows would make the stories I was watching really boring and bleak in comparison. I had been afraid at the time, that THIS would also ruin She-Ra for me. So I really thought about... NOT tainting my vision and perception of the show with... Fandom stuff, Fanon or Ship-centric views, NOT EVEN CREATOR INTERACTIONS. I really tried to watch it blind and enjoy it for what it was.

Fool I was, I should’ve done the opposite.

It’s a tired old story, and a really redundant thing for ME to talk about. But I really felt a DEEP disappointment with She-Ra. Akin to LOSS almost.

Cuz you see, for a year and a half I ended up CENTERING myself on She-Ra, on more than one level.

On one hand, I TRULY believed She-Ra was a show with a story that I loved, there were plenty of characters that REALLY spoke to me. Characters like Glimmer? for example? And her storyline? for me are *one in a million*.

Of course I’m... REALLY compacting my She-Ra experience. I had come to appreciate MANY things about it. It’s world, it’s story, the characters, the comedy, the animation, the people who loved it and grew because of it, etc.

Furthermore, once my initial *doubt* about the show had passed, I really immersed myself in the fandom side of things. And I gotta say, I really enjoyed it for as long as it lasted. I think I experienced a new level of feeling like I *belonged* in a community, and a feeling that people LIKED what I did for it, and that people wanted MORE of ME in it.

Alongside that, and going back to animation. Geez, She-Ra came at the best *or worst* (depends on how you wanna look at it in hindsight now, LMAO), time of my life.

Literally on the verge of me finishing up with Prepschool and having to chose a career for University.

Prior to She-Ra, I really was trying to pinpoint my vocation, and animation had been in my mind for a LONG time, since Steven Universe really.

AND... Idk, AGAIN, THERE WAS SOMETHING ABOUT SHE-RA... which told me... “This is important”. Animation is important, being able to tell tales for people is important. Telling tales for people who need it, or people who don’t often get to tell tales is important. This medium is BEAUTIFUL, I MEAN, LOOK AT EVERYTHING IT CAN SPAWN OUT OF PEOPLE.

So it helped me make THAT decision.

Also alongside these things well... I go back to all of that about “Belonging”, and “community”.

Boy I met some of the most amazing friends I ever have in my life. People whom I respect, people who I admire, people who thought like me, liked ME, enjoyed this show, etc.

OF COURSE, at the time, and I really should’ve known better. We met out of our mutual LOVE for Glimmadora, LMAO.

ME? FALLING IN LOVE WITH AN UNPOPULAR SHIP? Who’da thought.

AND I DID SO, *DAMN NEAR DIVORCED FROM FANDOM* LMAOOOOO, you can see how my “I’ll learn to love whichever aspects of this show I’m *gonna* love, outside of fandom influence” policy really just fucked me in the ass.

AND GOD, DID I *LET IT* BE A PART OF ME.

That comunity, those friends, that ship, that show, those creators. It was all I thought about, and it DROVE me. so much so I put up with so much shit from my University. I put up with so many bad things in my life that were going on because of that show.

And I see now that many of those friends I mentioned did too. GOD, how I wish... we just hadn’t.

I think... for most of us things had already been pretty shit, not gonna lie.

There was the pandemic, for a start. Prior to May the 15th I had an uncle of mine die of COVID, which shook me to *my* core, but dear old She-Ra and the Glimmadora fandom gang were there to cheer me on. (This was around the time really horrid people in the She-Ra fandom, whom LOATHED Glimmadora with a passion were making “Glimmadora shippers must have Covid, since a symptom of Covid is a lack of taste” Jokes btw.)

And I think of my friends also, who have always spoken to me about their problems and their lives. For all accounts I think, they’d always had it harder than me, and they found themselves a WILL and a DRIVE to go on... through this, through She-Ra, and our friendship.

Then May the 15th came and it’s all been going downhill from there HSEBRGJKSEHRBGKJSERHGBJK.

I mean... I understand NOW, just how DAMAGING for myself it was to... cling so much to that show, to all of it. NEVER should’ve connected the drive of my vocation to it.

Cuz yanno... even if I HAVE continued to grow and get better the past few months, some things haven’t changed for the better.

For instance, I basically LOST my entire space here, in fandoms, in ejoying shows. I LITERALLY ONLY CREATE NOW... Either out of spite, or for my friends.

There is a VERY DEEP loathing now within me about stuff like... Catradora for example. I hate it, it makes me feel disgusting, simple as that. And THAT kind of feeling isn’t welcome here, also simple as that. So I’m out of a space and that hurts.

PFFT, basically all the pieces I produce now, which I still do with a She-Ra theme. Nobody’s gonna wanna consume MY content anymore, and they don’t. I made sure they couldn’t because I knew, I wasn’t going to be able to stomache this She-Ra fandom anymore.

That’s been another thing too. I don’t like being a contrarian, I don’t like being the guy who thinks the thing everybody loves is bad or wrong, and if I could SO HELP ME GOD, I’d change my entire view of it all. I don’t really care about being right or wrong anymore, I just want that peace of mind back.

HELL, there were people I knew since 2016 almost, who kinda just told me...

Shut the fuck up or leave.

On some cases I shut my mouth, on others I just left.

And yanno... I do feel miserable about it. But it also makes it all the harder when I think of my friends?

GOD DAMN, EVERYTHING THAT *COULD* GO WRONG, WENT WRONG FOR THEM.

ALWAYS, for all of my friends. And even through the hurt, I sit here and think, well I think I still have hope! I think I still have a drive to go on and persue animation  and tell good stories.

But I understand now... that *I* have a priviledge over my friends. The priviledge of support. I’m not REALLY alone, there’s people helping ME.

My friends don’t have that, and I can’t give them that, how I wish I could.

And it does just HURT only being able to tell my friends, “HEY! Have hope things’ll be better!” And then we all turn to the only beacons of hope we shared, and seeing them all dull and out of light. No Glimmer of hope.

Like, how do you tell people to hold out, to keep fighting, to keep trying to STILL CHASE THEIR DREAMS... When you can’t even help them keep their heads high when they’re trying yo get a damned job. When no matter how much THEY try they keep getting knocked down.

When there’s no longer a space were they feel confortable sharing their creations, because everyone they had ONCE tried to please with them? suddenly decided they were of no value.

So here we are.

I’m starting up a new semester in a couple of days, hopefully building myself up more to chase MY dreams... whilst all my friends suffer and can’t chase theirs.

Shit’s fucked. I wish I could do more.

PFFT, I guess, long story short:

Life unfair, Me Sad.

Me Angery, Me Bitter

Me Lost, They Won

Boohoo I guess.

SO ANYWAYS... I really just... needed to put these thoughts out in words. Scream to the void as it were.

I can’t wait to go back into discord or twitter or tumblr and see how my friends can’t catch a fucking break.

And how things will continue to get worse before they get better.

God I hope they get better, for all of us, if not atleast for them. They’ve already gone through enough.

[kinkymagnus]

Big au headcanon incoming you have been warned!!!! You don’t have to respond I just want to dump ehehe But listen a slow burn friends to lovers malec au is what we deserve!!! I have so many thoughts and feelings about this akshakhdej maybe they’ve grown up together? Or met when they were teenagers?? I’m thinking Alec pretty quickly notices that he looks at Magnus differently than anyone else, but he’s not Out, so he just pretends he’s fine lol. So he’s around when Magnus starts to date and is there for him during the breakups too because he just wants Magnus to be happy. And maybe that’s when Camille happens (or she doesn’t happen at all because Magnus deserves so much better) and Alec just hates her but Magnus doesn’t understand why and then when the shitstorm is over Alec is there for him during his healing without the I told you so bullshit because he’s not like that he’s just There exactly in the way Magnus needs and it takes some time but then oops maybe this is the person he should have been looking at all along?? Has Alec always looked at him like that?? It’s very Intense™ and Magnus is just like woah what do I do with this. But they’ve always had a very tactile relationship so I’m thinking cuddles because Magnus needs comfort and then at one point they just look at each other and kinda lean in and Alec is like shit no!!! I’m not taking advantage of you when you’re hurting!! And Magnus is like you’re not!! I want you to kiss me!!! So Alec just... blinks and does it because he can’t hold back anymore and then after they’ve talked they tell Izzy and she slaps them both over the head and says that she’s been trying to get them both to understand their feelings for each other for years what took them so long but they all just laugh and they also talk about what scared them and reach common ground and it’s pretty much the same?? They just kiss now?? It’s nice

god look i love enemies to lovers and all but friends to lovers does not get enough credit

also i like them meeting as teenagers just for the salt of like. alec wouldn’t have looked at jace twice if magnus were around lmaooooo 

but like alec being there for him, and they’re like honestly good friends, it’s not all pining, and they’ve always lowkey had feelings for each other but you know magnus moved on, thinking alec would never like him like that, and he dated and had fun and then he met camille and she broke his heart and treated him like absolute shit 

and CUDDLES TO COMFORT MAGNUS AAAAAAAAA and alec refusing to kiss him so he’s not taking advantage of his friend when he’s hurting and aaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

also this makes me think of “done with love” by zedd like

give me one night to mend the pain

because the second we touch

you’ll forget the day 

you were done with love

(oh, you were done with love)

i’ve had this song bouncing around in my head for a malec au forever (literally i have a draft from like. fucking 2016 or something. i don’t know years. the point is, ages ago. with this as a title) and the idea it’s like 

post camille, magnus is hurting and he’s sworn off love and closed himself off 

but there’s his friend alec who wants to be there for him??

i mean not literally like “ok kiss me now everything is fixed ur trauma is gone” but you know like, eventually

in the draft i remember it was like a high school au (cos i was in high school lmao) alec was his secret admirer just trying to cheer him up and let him know he was like, loved admired and shit, you know? but idk how i’d connect that just thought it was an interesting little tidbit 

also more lyrics

baby, if you’re done with love, who’s gonna hold you tonight?

are you done with love, so they can’t hurt you tomorrow

you don’t wanna keep swimming

in the ocean you’vecried

but i won’t let you drown, i’ll pull you back to the shallow

and

‘cause all i ever really wanted

in this short life

was you

tell me who took your heart away

because you know it breaks mine 

when i hear you say

that you’re done with love

(oh, you were done with love)

sure there’s a little romantic love supremacy here (i forget the word flkgjfgh forgive me) but i mean just the general vibe of like.... let me support you, you don’t have to close yourself off, i’ll keep you safe, i love you???? aaaaaAAAAAAA SOFT MALEC VIBES

friends to lovers malec..AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

[extreme-technicality]

does talking to an anon help about ninjago help? cuz I'm down

DHDKCKGSC YES IT DOES THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR OFFERING YOUR SERVICES

Okay now that I know I won’t be clogging people’s dashes buckle the fuck in my dude and I should stress that I literally would not be talking about this as much as I will be if I didn’t genuinely enjoy the show. I’m gonna go season by season and just Rant

S1 has the serpentine as the bbeg and like, as far as villains go they’re p lit. They’re early enough that they haven’t been done to hell, things are fresh, the characters and dynamics are being fleshed out, and all in all s1 is a pretty solid season. There’s some fuckery that gets brought up re: how the FUCK aging works and what the actual timeline of Ninjago is and how Wu and Garmadon fit into that timeline, fuckery that LITERALLY NEVER GETS RESOLVED IN A SATISFYING WAY BC ITS REVEALED IN A LATER SEASON (s8, dw we’ll get there lmao) THAT THE ONLY REASON THE FIRST SPINJITSU MASTER, WU, AND GARMADON LIVED AS LONG AS THEY DID IS CUZ THEYRE BASICALLY DEMIGODS AND ITS IMPLIED THAT LLOYD WILL ALSO LIVE FOR A LONG ASS TIME WHICH MEANS ONE DAY HES GONNA OUTLIVE ALL HIS FRIENDS AND EVERYONE HE EVER LOVED WHICH IS A FUN THING TO THINK ABOUT AT NIGHT But anyway I digress, s1 also coincidentally introduces Lloyd (he wasn’t in the pilot episodes that set up the rest of the series) and the existence of Evil Dad Garmadon.

S2 is where Garmadon starts acting a lot more Evil and a lot less Dad. He’s the main antagonist for that season, and I actually read somewhere that the show was originally slated to end after s2 which high key explains the fuckery of literally every single season after this lmaooooo. Much like s1, I really can’t find much to complain about, the first two seasons are pretty decent as far as I can remember

Season. Fucking. Three. Where the fuck do I start??? I hate season three for entirely personal reasons revolving around the STUPID GODDAMN ROMANCE WRITING. okay lemme back up and explain a thing first so, Jay is dating Nya and they’re fine, they’re going steady, aND THEN????? THE BEGINNING OF THE SEASON INTRODUCES BULLSHIT LOVE TRIANGLE FUCKERY FOR ZERO GODDAMN REASON, BITCH I HATE LOVE TRIANGLES AND I HATE THEM EVEN MORE WHEN THEYRE DONE FOR NO GODDAMN REASON!!! AND THEN. AS IF THAT WERENT ENOUGH. THEY SHOEHORNED A ROBOT ROMANCE BETWEEN ZANE AND PIXAL AND I KNOW I RANTED ABOUT THIS A LITTLE BIT WHEN I WAS ACTUALLY WATCHING BUT I DIDNT GO INTO ENOUGH DETAIL!!!! THEY MADE THE OTHER NINJA OOC IN ORDER TO PROP UP THEIR SHIP!!!!!! AND AT ONE POINT ZANE GOES “its like we were…made for each other” AND I HAD TO FUCUCJDHVE I HAD TO SCREAM INTO A PILLOW BRO, IM SO TIRED!!!! NO THE FUCK YOU WERENT!!!!!! YOU WERE MADE FOR YOU AND PIXAL WAS MADE FOR PIXAL AND IF YALLS WANNA BANG BOLTS THATS FINE BUT DONT IMPLY THAT EITHER OF YOU WERE MADE INCOMPLETE!!!! THATS AN INSULT TO YOUR MAKERS AND YOURSELVES, MOVE ON, PLEASE AND THANK YOU. anyway that season also killed Zane (for the first time, but not the last) (spoiler alert lmao) and like, not to be an emotional little shit but I did cry a bit at his funeral.

S4 is honestly one of my favorites, even though the romance crimes continue (the love triangle bullshit is continuing and honestly I maintain that Cole, Nya, and Jay should all have gotten together and in my personal canon they DID, and also Kai has a forced romance) the VILLAIN makes up for it imo. He’s campy!! He’s funny!! He’s a clown!! He’s serious enough that if he says “I’m gonna kill you” HE MEANS IT and that’s so fucking refreshing!!!! S4 is honestly 8/10 just for the villain alone, don’t like that it retconned the SHIT out of the elemental masters and how many different elements there are TO master but eh, it’s ninjago, shit is stupid.

S5 was…interesting? OH WAIT I FORGOT TO MENTION THAT S3 INTRODUCED A GARMADON WHO WAS A LOT LESS EVIL AND A LOT MORE DAD, HONESTLY I THOUGHT IT TOOK A LOT OF THE FLAVOR OUT BUT THATS JUST ME LMAOOO. anyway s5 killed Garmadon, and I was a little sad cuz I like him okay??? I just think he’s NEAT, he’s got big dad energy, he was teaching Lloyd some shit that just got DROPPED and literally was never brought up again which is honestly a theme in Ninjago. Ninjago drinking game: take a shot every time they introduce a plot point or ability and drop it at or before the end of the season. WHICH THEY ALSO DID IN S5 WITH A DIFFERENT POWER ACTUALLY, so all the ninja are masters of Spinjitsu right, well s5 introduced the concept of Airjitsu which only Spinjitsu masters can learn and it lets them FLY and they used that for seasons 5 and 6 and then they nEVER BROUGHT IT UP AGAIN EVEN THOUGH IT WOULDVE COME IN HANDY FOR S E V E R A L DIFFERENT SITUATIONS ACROSS THE SEASONS, ONE OF THEM WOULD BE FALLING TO THEIR DOOM AND MY ASS WOULD BE YELLING “YOU CAN FLY, DUMBASS” - anyway, they do that again later lmao it’s fine. But what’s low key NOT fine is they made Nya the WATER NINJA!!! Like I’m not mad she has powers, except I kinda am, she was doing just fine as Samurai X and honestly the only reason she has super special ninja powers is for plot reasons. Also Cole got turned into a ghost, but by s7 he’s????? No longer a ghost????????? And that’s NEVER addressed or reasoned away, so like. Cool lmao

S6 didn’t happen. Like, canonically, s6 ends with wish fuckery that undoes the entire season and none of the characters remember anything that happened except Jay and Nya because S6 is the season where they get back together so they remember all those events for???? Feelings reasons?????? Unclear, moving on. The actual bbeg for S6 was a djinn with a vaguely Spanish accent, and to this DAY I don’t know why they made him have a SPANISH accent. Djinn are Arabic, not Spanish!! They’re not central or South American, either!!!! Your villain design makes no sense, do better

S7 had MORE time fuckery, and retconned what happened to Kai and Nya’s parents and hmmmhmhmhmhmhm that makes me Upsetti Spaghetti :3 not just the retconning, but the fact that they LITERALLY brought them back oNLY TO NEVER MENTION THEM AGAIN!!!!!! LITERALLY!!!!!!!! Okay so at the VERY very beginning, like pilot episodes beginning, Kai talks about their dad like he died/left fairly recently, BUT s7 contradicts that and claims that both of their parents were essentially abducted when Kai and Nya were little kids, which makes me question what in the fresh fuck two little kids were doing for all those years alone. SETTING THAT ASIDE FOR A HOT SECOND, their parents were also apparently good friends of Wu’s and old war buddies (from the Serpentine wars, which is YET ANOTHER bit of the timeline that doesn’t quite add up but honestly I could make a whole other post about that shit). But if they were such good fucking friends, why didn’t Wu check in every now and again??? What the fuck was Wu doing that was so fucking important that he couldn’t have been assed to visit his friends ONCE in like TEN MOTHERFUCKING YEARS and realize “oh shit, they’re not here and there are two tiny children running around unsupervised…My Kids Now : )” LIKE????? WU YOU LOW KEY SHOULDA LOOKED OUT FOR YOUR FRIENDS’ KIDS BETTER, THEY COULDA DIED BRO!!! Uhhhh the time fuckery also results in Wu getting yeeted ahead in time a bit and the ninja gotta find him

Season. Eight. I have…mixed feelings about this one. The beginning absolutely SLAUGHTERED me, and not in a “this is so fucking funny” way. No, the beginning made me feel like I was being flayed alive with just about every episode because Ninjago was back on its forced romance bullshit and this time it was Lloyd’s turn on the chopping block. That hurt my soul cuz like, look at that mans color scheme, he’s CLEARLY alloaro, why are you forcing romance on my aro man, why would you hurt me like that, BUT ALSO BECAUSE HE AND THE GIRL HE WAS BEING SET UP WITH HAD A LITTLE HEART TO HEART REALLY EARLY ON AND IT WAS THE MOST QUEER CODED SHIT!!!! IT DEADASS READ AS A CONVERSATION BETWEEN AN OUT AND PROUD QUEER AND A CLOSETED QUEER AND THEY MADE!!! IT!!!!! STRAIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!! The only thing that kept me watching at first was wanting to find Wu, and then I started enjoying myself once Cole found a plot-relevant baby and had fatherhood thrust upon him. Everything went from “ehhhhh” to “holy shit this FUCKS” once it was revealed that Rumi (Lloyd’s love interest) wAS PLAYING HIM THE WHOLE TIME AND WAS EVIL AND HAD AN EVIL GIRLFRIEND!!!!!! LITERALLY IMPROVED EVERYTHING ABOUT THE SEASON FOR ME, I COULD EVEN FORGIVE THE WHOLE “let’s resurrect Garmadon, but as evil as possible” BULLSHIT!!!!!!

S9 is a continuation of s8, Garmadon is back and 1000% Evil, 10% Dad, but none of the Dad energies is directed at Lloyd - it’s all directed at Rumi, and honestly I could write a whole ass post on just RUMI cuz that’s honestly my DAUGHTER and I LOVE HER and I’m MAD SHE DIES AT THE END OF THIS SEASON!!!! SHE DESERVED THERAPY AND TO LIVE WITH HER GF AND MAYBE SOME CRIME. AS A TREAT. RUMI DESERVED BETTER AND LOW KEY IM GONNA WRITE A FIC ABOUT IT, BUT ANYWAY WHERE WAS I

Ah right, so s9 has the four major Ninja stuck in the original dimension with no way home, while Lloyd has no powers (cuz he almost died last season) and has to somehow lead a resistance against Garmadon (who has taken control of Ninjago City and is working on the rest of Ninjago). Actually, s9 is pretty cool. Like, the end of s8 and into s9 are low key my favorite episodes, and I kinda wanna rewatch them now -

S10 is a FUN one. Garmadon got got last season, but he didn’t DIE, so he’s in cold storage and now there’s Another Threat and he’s the only one who knows wtf they’re up against so they let him out and he works with them. The funny part is, he is still Very Much Evil and doesn’t quite Get emotions like he did when he was, uh, human lmao, sO HE WOKE UP EVERY DAY DURING THAT SEASON AND DECIDED TO CAUSE PROBLEMS ON PURPOSE. IT WAS THE FUNNIEST FUCKING SHIT. 1000000/10 MY FAVORITE GARMADON, he ended that season by literally fucking off into Ninjago and they never decided to track him down 😭😭😭😭😭and I’m so SAD about it dude

S11 has another Serpentine as the bbeg, though in the setup to that they retconned how the fucking Serpentine tribes and history work??? I think???? Also Wu was a good 150% angrier and generally Done with the ninja’s shit, which was honestly refreshing tho I’m not quite sure I liked what the refreshed view was, but whatever lmao. S11 also had the ninja get yeeted to the dimension farthest from Ninjago, and honestly - okay, so they didn’t all go at the same TIME, Zane left about a week or two before the others did but there was time dilation fuckery afoot which I’m not too mad about cuz low key it makes sense. What I AM mad about is that they didn’t play the angst up to its full POTENTIAL!!!!!! Zane was EVIL in the other dimension!!!! Okay so I’m Ninjago he was only gone for maybe a week or two, but DECADES had passed in the other one, and all that time Zane was alone and disconnected from everyone he knew and loved, with a staff that boosted his power while slowly corrupting him and Turning Him Evil to help him, and like???? The thought of Zane trying to find a way home, trying to get SOME sort of message back, while he has to use the staff more and more to help him survive the long, lonely decades, so that by the time his family DOES show up its too late??? BRO. B R O. THAT JUST HITS DIFFERENT, BUT NINJAGO DIDNT DO THAT!!! THEY MADE HIM EVIL DUE TO MEMORY WIPE!!!!!! MEMORY WIPE IS BABY SHIT COMPARED TO A LONG, SLOW CORRUPTION!!!!!!

S12 was alright. It went into Cole’s mom, touched on some of the adventures she had had, threatened another forced romance (this time on poor Cole, just leave my mans ALONE) but thankfully didn’t follow through this time, introduced cool new powers that honestly hasn’t been elaborated on since that’s the most recent season I think lmao

Anyway thanks for reading and letting me rant!!!! I have,,So Much More I could talk about, PLEASE ask me about Rumi, some of my headcanons re: Garmadon and Wu’s dynamic, the Serpentine, my top five times they butchered Kai’s character for Plot Reasons, or anything else I brought up here that you want me to elaborate on!!!

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #235

“the monster you made is wearing the crown; i’ll be the king and you be the clown.”

What is your favorite move franchise? The Lion King. What was the last fast food you ate? I had a hot dog from Sonic and one of those pretzel twists things. What is the saddest book you’ve ever read? Johnny Got His Gun by Dalton Trumbo. Do you prefer heroes or villains? Villains. Duh. They're like, always more interesting. What is something you think is overrated? Uhhh coffee, for one. But like what you like. What political cause are you most passionate about? Gay rights. What country would you most like to visit? South Africa. Have you ever considered having children? Literally the only period where I wanted kids was later into Jason's and my relationship. Hell, I wanted three while he was always like "onLY TWO." Now, I don't want a single one, ever. I would be an awful mother for many reasons. If you ever took field trips as a child, which was your favorite? The zoo with Dad, my then-best friend, and her mom. One and only time I've seen meerkats. I was so excited I almost cried. Do you have any weird family traditions? It's not like, a tradition, I think, but we have a unique thing where saying "I love you mostest period" is something Mom, Dad, and my sisters have used for all my life. It's a way of saying "I love you more than you could ever love me, no arguments." Now Sara's been dragged into it lmao. Have you ever considered acting? Nope. Who was the last person you slept next to? Sara. Do you think you can be in love and still cheat on your S.O.? You can't "be in love" with a person and fucking cheat on them, no. Do you subscribe to any streaming services? We have Netflix. Idk about anything else. Have you ever been in a physical fight? No. What is the most embarrassing thing anyone has on video of you? I don't even wanna know. Did you ever get lost as a child? Yep, in a Wal-Mart lmao. This old lady helped me find my fam. What is your favorite condiment? Honey mustard. Or ketchup. Depends. Have you ever had an existential crisis? Very surprisingly, not really. Do you like country music? Begone, demon. It's still so weird to me that I loved it as a kid, but I really just grew up with it. What color are the eyes of the person you love? Brown. What is your favorite kind of flower? I looooove orchids. What town were you born in? Not the best thing to share on the Internet, eh? Do you know how to play any card games? I only vaguely understood/understand Magic: The Gathering. It's honestly really fun, but very complex in rules. It was Jason's thing so he got me into it. I miss my PS3 working because I used to have the "Duels of the Planeswalkers" on there, and doing it digitally is much easier and helpful. I loved it mostly because the art is fucking incredible. It was an old little aspiration to wind up designing the art some day and I don't think I ever saw Jason more excited. What is something about your childhood that you miss? Being more into video games than I am now alskdjf;awe. I'm more of a viewer of let's plays now than an active gamer; meanwhile, as a kid, video games were my favorite things in the world. Did you ever have MySpace? Do you miss those days? Yeah, I had one. Honestly though I can barely remember it (other than the song on my page was "Pocketful of Sunshime" lmaooooo as well meerkat-flooded), so it doesn't matter. What is the best television show you’ve ever watched? Meerkat Manor is my favorite show of all time, but as a proper show could have been better. AP made up their own shit and deviated from the KMP facts A LOT (guess what: Mozart killed a competitor's litter before; not exactly MM's her, right?), and not only was that confusing, but just annoying. Give me the real shit; don't just tweak stuff for dramatic effect. I could list a novel of lies in the series. Now, what I feel is the best show without a meerkat bias and just has an overall good plot. I kinda wanna say Supernatural, but the boys dying five million times got old. Possibly Fullmetal Alchemist. Are there any songs you can’t listen to because they bring back memories? I 110% refuse to hear "Stairway to Heaven." Have you ever saved someone’s life? Funny this is brought up after recent events. My sweetheart online bud had a cerebral aneurysm while having an extremely difficult time talking to me, and no one was home quite yet. Her final message was concerning and she didn't reply to me for a while, so I wound up messaging her again after a bit, and her boyfriend heard the b.net notification sound. Saw it was me and asked what was up. Told him, and he figured out she wasn't sleeping on the couch, she was passed out. He told me he never would have known if I hadn't said something. So does that count, even though I didn't like, physically save her? Have you ever broken any major bones? No. Are there any websites you’ve used for over 10 years? Good question? Idk. WAIT HOLD THE FUCK UP, KM's 10th birthday is coming up real soon. Wow. I know YouTube has been much longer. Idr when I joined deviantART. Maybe there's more, I dunno. Do you have any siblings? If so, what are their ages? My two immediate are 22 (ew) and 26 (double ew). Anything exciting taking place today? No, today was A N X I E T Y !! ! ! !! !! What are you craving? Okay so I have been MEGA in "the mood" lately and it's frustrating especially because I don't masturbate so I have like nO OUTLET. Who did you last hit? Nobody saving for when I was a kid repeatedly slapped my sister's arm for doing something I don't remember. How do you do in school? It depends on the subject, but in anything, I am a MASSIVE procrastinator, and I need to fix that. Schoolwork, good good, homework in the library, good good, but when I'm at home, I cannot seem to convince myself to work. As Sara puts it, home is like my "safe" place, and I don't want to bring school into it. Adjusting to school life again after like... two whole years or so of doing NOTHING at all, almost every day all day, is very difficult. I'm SO glad I picked school again, it's just a lot for a person who was so isolated and void of responsibilities to get used to. What’s your biggest goal? Right now, continue to improve my mental health. Fight social anxiety and AvPD. Who have you texted today? Just Sara. Who do you aspire to be like when you grow up? In most ways, especially in kindness, wisdom, relentless determination, passion, creativity, etc. etc. etc. etc., Mark. I think it's obvious he's Role-Model #1. I would loooove to be like Jane Goddall and Steve Irwin, too, feeling with such ferocious potency for animals and how they should be respected and loved. UM AND ALSO, EUGENIA COONEY IS THE SWEETEST PERSON ON THE ENTIRE GODDAMN EARTH AND I WOULD LOVE TO BE AS FRIENDLY AND PRECIOUS AS SHE IS. Oh, and then there's Shane Dawson. I relate to him SO much. He is the most selfless angel that seems SO down-to-earth and relatable as hell. I feel like he could be like, my best friend. Ahhhhhhh there are so many more, I love talking about my inspirations, but I'll chill here. Do you know if you want to go to college or not? I'm in college right now, and I desperately want it to stay that way. I'm fucking going somewhere in my life, and the education it provides will bring me closer to that. College is far from mandatory for everyone, but I feel it is beneficial for me. Do you like grapefruits? I haven't had one in a LONG time, so I don't really remember how they taste. I just know sour. What do you think of guys who wear eyeliner? *drools in Darkiplier* the fuck do you think Do you like online games? Only World of Warcraft, really. Who’s one person you care about more than yourself? Okay, real talk, and I hope this is everybody's answer. No one. I'm putting my goddamn self and my mental peace first for the rest of my life. Are there any pets you’re wishing for? I want another ball python. When’s the last time you used hand sanitizer? Two days ago when Mom and I stopped somewhere to eat. Wearing anything that isn’t yours? No. What type of bread did you use on the last sandwich you made? White. How many doors are in your house? Uhhh six. What was the last compliment you received, that made you smile? Sara said she was really proud of me, and to me, that's one of the biggest compliments you CAN give me. Think you need to lose weight? How much? ugh When was the last time you watched a VHS movie? I don't have a clue. We kept our VHS longer than most, though. We had too many movies on it. What event would you go back in time to see, if you could? Ummmm I dunno. Do you remember the last thing you said you wanted? To hug Sara. Who was the last friend you hung out with&what’d you do together? Sara stayed for a week. We did a lot. Who is the person, other than a spouse, that you are closest to? Sara. If you watched it, who was your favorite Hey Arnold! character? Oh my god, I hated that stupid show, but one of my sisters liked it. Have any good school pictures? or do they all just suck? There is literally ONE picture from elementary school where I think I looked pretty. Do you like trying on clothes or not? & Why? NO. I try to avoid it if I can. It's just annoying to change clothes for like five seconds. What are your thoughts on marriage? It's sweet, but I've come to find it... kinda needless for the most part? Like I know it has financial pluses and the symbolism is beautiful, but it's just that: symbolism originating from fantasies (imo, don't scream at me). It only adds pressure to stay in a dying relationship and makes splitting much more complicated. BUT, even with all that said, I personally want to get married someday, but only if I am *sure* about this person. It's the symbolism I like. That and it's so ingrained into my head that that's the "end goal" of relationships, so I'm pretty much just conditioned to want it. How long have you lived in the current place you’re living? Two years. Do you plan on moving anytime soon, if so where? I want to, but I am not in the financial position or at a level of independence where I'm ready for that. Are you more of a follower, or a leader? Be honest. This may alter with the situation, but mostly, I'm definitely a follower. Are your dreams/nightmares in black&white or color? I've heard of this condition before and it really intrigues me. I dream in color. Have you ever wanted to be some sort of hero outside of video games? I mean, define "hero." Like an action superhero in a literal way, nooooo. I'd die on Day #1, lmao. As a hero/inspiration as a person, of course; who doesn't? Will you admit that you’re at least somewhat superficial? I mean, probably in some places? How often do you go to the mall closest to you? Almost never ever. Our mall sucks and has experienced too many shootings. Do you still count with your fingers, even if only every so often? Yep. Like, always. Have you ever gone on a road trip with just friends? No. Well, I went to the beach with my friend and her mom, but just for a day or two because my separation anxiety from Mom got too bad oof. Without trying, do you act differently around different friends? Depends on the friend. I don't "fake it," just how reserved I am can move around. What was the last thing you drew/wrote on your own or someone else's skin? Probably a butterfly on my wrists when I was actively part of the Butterfly Project community. The last time you spent money, what was it on & how much did you spend? $1.25 for a drink at school. What’s the most money you’ve ever spent on one piece of clothing? Idk, but definitely not a lot. In elementary school, were you more of the bully or the bullied? Thankfully, neither. Do you like when a spouse is clingy, or can you not stand that? I'm sure to a certain degree it would be annoying, but for the most part, hell, I think it's attractive. Especially since I NEED validation you like me. How much do you say you walk in a week outside of school &/or work? Just around my house if you exclude school. Is there anything you wish your parents did differently in raising you? I wish they'd given us chores. Wish Mom didn't spank us. What would you do if the last person you texted asked you out? Lol yo we JUST broke up like an hour ago. We're not ready to get back together yet, obviously. Don't worry a bit, we're both cool. Still best friends, even. To compress a long story, needed personal growth and distance have brought us to returning to just friends. For now, at least. Have you ever received a scholarship? I think so... but not like a huge one, I believe. Who was the last person who got frustrated with you? Most likely Mom. When was the last time you mopped your kitchen floor? I myself have never mopped it. Or maybe once. What is your favorite work of art? I mentioned the Denialism painting in my last survey. What was the last appointment or plan you had to cancel? Plan, my next one with my psychiatrist. What spur-of-the-moment decision that you’ve made has had the biggest impact on your life? I don't know if any have truly changed my life. The ones that did (that I remember) were pondered over. Do you know anyone who is (or has been) a refugee? I don't think so, What is your best friend’s worst habit? She doesn't have faith in herself for ANYTHING lj;ljalwie Do you like spinach and artichoke dip? alksd;fjwei no Have you ever felt like you were about to pass out, but didn’t? Yep, a couple times. What was the name of one of your childhood imaginary friends? I didn't have any. What’s your favorite phase of the moon? Full. Do you wish you were richer? I physically refuse to be anything less than stable, hopefully even above that, once I'm independent. We've been poor all my life and it is fuck-ing HARD. It's stressful as a motherfucker and I am done with it. Very. What’s a middle name you like? Quinn. Fits a lot. I planned on giving that middle name to my hypothetical daughter. Are you scared of spiders? y e a h Do you weigh the same as your mom? No. Were you a Mary-Kate and Ashley fan? Like the average 90s/early 2000s kid. Coffee mugs, teacups, or water bottles? Uh, aesthetically? Teacups, probably. Bubblegum or cotton candy? Gum. I like the taste and texture of cotton candy, it is just RIDICULOUSLY sweet. It bothers my sensitive teeth sometimes. Do you prefer to drink soda from cans, bottles or cups? Cans. They get the coldest. Game you were best at in P.E./gym? Idk, I didn't excel at any. What do you have for breakfast on an average day? I'll typically just have a meal replacement shake or a Pop-Tart. Favorite non-chocolate candy? Sour Punch Straws (gotta be red). Favorite book you had to read for school? The Outsiders. Most frequently worn pair of shoes? My flip-flops, 'cuz they're easy to just slip on. Ideal weather? Cool but not windy (a light breeze is fine) with a partly-cloudy sky. Obsession from childhood? Webkinz. Favorite crystal? Dragon's breath opal. Favorite activity to do in warm weather? Swim or stay the fuck inside. Favorite activity to do in cold weather? Taking pictures in the snow. Five songs to describe you? "Get Up" by Mother Mother, "That's What You Get" by Paramore, uhhh... I don't feel like thinking over this any longer. My iPod isn't near me to scan through what I have, so yeah. Best way for someone to bond with you? Let's have deep philosophical talks about like the meaning of life 'n shit. Top 5 favorite Vines? Oh my god, this is impossible. To name some that come to mind first, in no order: "It's Wednesday, m'dudes *insert mating call*", "I cOUld'vE dROPPED My croiSSANt," "this is why mom doesn't FUCKING LOVE YOU," that one at a club where a girl is doing smoke tricks and the dude just goes "check that out" (or "wow," idr) or something similar (I couldn't find it), and omfg I adore that Snoop Dogg one with the little boy just semi-dancing to that iconic song???? I LOVE IT??????? Man, there are so so many more. Very honorable mention: "a d a m". Ads you have stuck in your head? None, thankfully. What is the first meme you remember seeing? Uhhh maybe Happy Bunny? Idk. Sci-fi, fantasy, or superheroes? Fantasy. Favorite type of cheese? American. What saying or quote do you live by? There's a lot I've picked up on and cling to. #1 is perhaps "Deal with life, or life deals with you." What are you currently stressed about? Some... things I realized about myself that disgust me. Favorite fairy tale? Shrek is a goddamn fairy tale and I will fight to the death against anyone who claims otherwise. Favorite tradition? I don't really have one anymore, but I remember as a kid, I would NEVER let Mom forget to throw some "reindeer food" outside for them lol. Talent you’re proud of having? One that warrants pride, exactly? Not just random talents? Well, uhhh. I suppose writing. I mean it modestly, I really do, but as a kid, my teachers all the way through high school always thought I was cheating or a parent did my papers at home. Some were only convinced by me writing in the classroom. I don't feel as good about my writing as I did in high school, but I am sill proud of excelling in it and taking writing anywhere seriously. If you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be? I mean, name the game and genre here. Probably like "what the fuck" at like, everything, because I already do that. If you were an anime character, what genre of anime would it be? Like, based on my current life? I dunno. A sad and repetitive one with some bright days to it. Ohhh, and the color scheme and lighting vary with my mental state. Yo that would be dope. Character you relate to? lmao THRALL from WoW for being like "can y'all bastards just chill tf out" until he goes off to an isolated land away from civilization bc he's seen enough shit. Also compelled to help. Any good luck charms? I don't believe in those. Least favorite flavor of food or drink? As far as consistent flavors go, normally cherry or grape. Left or right handed? I'm a righty. Favorite potato food? Fries, when I wish they weren't. Earth tones or jewel tones? Jewel. How many phone numbers do you have memorized? Literally just Mom's. Not even mine.

[winedownwithcoffee]

DWTS Season 27 TRIO WEEK Trashy Thoughts

Whew this season is a cluster and I LOVE IT. Unpredictable my friends. Keeping us on our toes. I am going to make and insert my favorite gifs from each dance too

Opening: Cute little opener. Not much to say about it lol

JP & Cheryl+Melissa Rycroft: He got a ROUGH package, which is very interesting to me…Very interesting. I hate this dance. Everything about it. The music styling, all of it. He can move his hips. That is about it. This is a whole as mess. At least she added a couple of cha cha steps? But this is trash and I hate it. All of it.  A whole ass posing trash mess. I actually agreed with CAI for the first time, I canNOT connect with him. At all. 8-8-8 shoulda had a 7 IMO

Tinashe & Brandon+Amy Purdy: Amy & Tinashe should have had DIFFERENT colors. They straight up SAID the best dancers don’t last AND high scores don’t keep you there. WE ALLLLLLLLLLL should have seen it coming tbh. I honestly didn’t hate this dance, but Amy messed up a few points and also I hate Brandon’s facials something fierce… It was forgettable. Plain and simple.  9-8-9 would have said 8.5. It was fine but like I just don’t really remember it until now that I have rewatched it.

John & Emma+ Joey Fatone: I. LOVE. JOEY. I adore him. I adore her costuming. If her hair hadn’t gotten stuck it would have been amazing at the beginning. I actually REALLY enjoyed this dance. Like a lot. And the music was STUNNING. I didn’t expect to like John as much as I do this season. And I can’t with Joey’s makeup. KILLING me  lmaooooo I skipped through the judges because I am over it lol I liked it and him with the judges kills me. 7-7-7 and I agree

MALE.PRO.BUMPER. IS EVERYTHING MY THOT ASS NEEDED LAST NIGHT. WHEW GOD SHINED DOWN ON US LAST NIGHT LADIES. Though my hoe ass wishes they were shirtless. Also obviously Artem and Val don’t hate hate each other

Evanna & Keo+ Scarlett Brynne: I still don’t understand why these RANDOM ASS PEOPLE are in these fuckin trios man. Why?? I hate it. It’s crap and dumb. She kept up overall. Keo overdanced her again though. I watch him more than her sometimes because he is more dynamic. Scarlett missed steps. Also she kinda looks like Janel LOL. 8-8-8 and I concur. Also I couldn’t find any other giffable moment than this LMAO

Demarcus & Lindsay+ Rashad Jennings: Okay I KNEW this was going to happen with this dance. Okay the package was whew. That broken finger man gahhhhhh and he was so chill about it LOL that football mentality man. Okay as for the dance, I knew this was going to happen. Rashad is too good to go with Demarcus. It highlighted that Demarcus is the weaker dancer of the two. Rashad danced down to Demarcus’s level and Demarcus tried too hard to dance to Rashad’s level and it lost the intensity in my opinion. He doesn’t hit things like Rashad does and this made it apparent. It wasn’t a bad dance AT ALL but it highlighted the WRONG things. 7-7-8 I think that was about right

MLR & Sasha+Nastia Lukin: I am glad ya’ll enjoy her because I just don’t care one way or the other for he. Probably because she’s with Sasha and every time I see him I wanna hit him. The package was good though, she needed that. I think this dance suited MLR more because of alllllll of my issues with her the last three weeks. She still poses so much. There wasn’t as much trio as I would have preferred but that’s the first dance of hers I liked. 9-8-9 I’d have said 8

Milo & Witney+ Riker Lynch: I have been looking forward to this dance all week tbh. Riker should have won that season LOL I really really enjoy Milo. And I am glad to see Witney back to her old self. LMAO Witlash. Milo coming off a little cocky though. She almost fell twice though lol It was what I expected. I did love it. A lot. 10-9-10 and I agree

Joe & Jenna+Jordan Kimbrell: Okay. I have so many thoughts. WHY THE AF DID THEY PUT THIS RANDOM SHIT ON HERE?? Jordan is more charismatic than Joe tbh. Whew okay. Time to start the actual dance. Jenna looks stunning so there is that. I can’t stop laughing though. The minute they ripped the shirts off I lost it lmaooooo omg the “body grind “ was so Bad. Then gleb and Val came in and saved the shit out of it. Omg I can’t with this dance. I can’t quit laughing. And Val and gleb at the end. WHEW that was a fucking hot mess. But I cackled LMAO Jenna’s just like fuck it I give up LOL Bruno is me. This is a unique experience. I said 3 but yeah that sounds about right. And OMG stop I never saw alan and bobby booty popping omgggg

Alexis & Alan+Maddie Ziegler: AGAIN WHY TF IS THIS RANDOM ON MY SCREEN. Though they look like twins. Still don’t care about Alexis tbh. Don’t care at all. This dance wasn’t bad. She overdanced Alexis imo. And they didn’t dance together. Alexis has the same problem as demarcus this week. She is way too soft. But she seemed to enjoy this week the most so that’s good. But meh whatevs 8-8-9 also, see below the most WTF choreographed bit last night

Bobby & Sharna+Lindsey Sterling: I think they kinda got jipped getting cha cha with Lindsey. She’s not the most hip actiony person lol but they cute. Cute package. Really pushing about the dreams he’s living. This is 100% a  lipsync battle lmao he hit those hammer moves though. I just can’t stop smiling through this though. It was a whole ass blast dude. The cha cha was lacking but it was fun! 7-6-7 which I mean okay yeah

OKAY so my thoughts re: that elimination that none of you asked for but if you actually read this shit show then you will get. I am ONLY shocked about her going home last night because of the jeopardy last week. I am not shocked she went home early. She’s entirely forgettable when you have people like Bobby and Joe and Milo and Evy. The people that don’t really vote or don’t watch live or are just basic casual viewers continuously forget her. My flip phone loving, email incapable memaw forgot she was on until she started dancing. Mama asked what dance she did last week because she honestly couldn’t remember. That is Tinashe’s problem. She was a superb dancer but easily forgettable this season. I was only shocked because I thought that jeopardy would carry her another couple of weeks.

[myhiddeagenda]

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Stranger: Hey

You: F, 21, Norway

You: Sup over?

Stranger: M

Stranger: 19

You: Apparently, I can't English

Stranger: 😂😂😂

You: How ya doing?

Stranger: I’m good, you?

You: Fairly cool

You: The temperature has finally started to get lower than 30* degreees

You: Thank lord

Stranger: Lmao, it’s pretty hot over here in Michigan

Stranger: Wyd

You: Fucking gross

You: Not much really

You: Bored, my friends ditched me

You: So here I am, passing time

Stranger: Ahhhhh, I just got out of football. I’m just laying down

You: ooh, football which is not soccer rofl

Stranger: Yes, American football

You: I've tried it once, it's shits and giggles till someone tackles you with their shoulder to your gut

Stranger: Try that six hours a day

You: No thanks. I'm ok with my decent amount of hockey

You: haha

Stranger: You wanna play truth or dare or something

You: Sure

You: Hit me up

Stranger: Truth or dare

You: Truth I guess

Stranger: You got a bf

Stranger: ?^

You: I'd like to say yes, but it's complicated

You: How do you even do a dare over Omegle?

Stranger: Idk, you just trust the other person does it I guess

You: I ain't devouring boogers

You: no thanks

Stranger: Lmao

You: How's your lovelife going?

You: You must have girls swooning after ya

Stranger: I mean, sex is fun

You: hahha, all of the testosterone

Stranger: It’s fun for the other person too

Stranger: Trust meeee

You: wooowzers, I ain't judging you

Stranger: Truth or dare

You: Truth

Stranger: When was the last time you’ve had some good sex

You: Shit, hard question

You: hmm

You: After "boyfriend" did the "what are we" talk, I honestly went out partying out of pure anger with a couple of dude friends

You: Of my friends cousin was having hard luck finding "fun" so I joined him home

You: Not proud of it, but it was damn good

Stranger: Be proud of it, you got some good sex

You: Guilt trips my conscious

You: Okay

You: Truth or dare

Stranger: Dare

You: Take the closest inanimate object

You: and take a comparing dickpic

You: send it to the first dude on snapchat lmao

Stranger: I’ll do the first two but I ain’t sending that to any dudes😂😂

You: hahahaha

Stranger: Damn, my dick is surprisingly big

You: Have to admit I haven't really played truth or dare before lmao

You: haha, what'd you compare it to?

Stranger: A pillow

You: pfffffffftttttttttttttttt

Stranger: Lmaooooo

You: Good on you 😂

You: Does your dick go in the vagina and out the mouth?

You: Sounded really long 😂

Stranger: I give her a good time, I don’t kill her😂

You: hahaha, I'm laughing so hard

You: So, what music do you like?

Stranger: All music

Stranger: Depends on my mood

Stranger: Truth or dare

You: Truuuth

Stranger: Hmmmmm

Stranger: What’re are you rn

You: What? What am I right now?

Stranger: Where*

You: A lonely, confused woman?

Stranger: Lmao, we’re both lonely. Twinning

You: Sadbois v_v

Stranger: I choose dare

You: hmm

You: If you have the number of the last person you slept them

You: Tell them you had a good time *winky winky*

Stranger: Ok😂😂

Stranger: You seem like a dope person, if only you didn’t live halfway across the world

You: Well damn, never gotten that compliment before

You: I am known of being the best wingman, so I guess I'm a bit dope

Stranger: Lmao, you could me my wingwoman

Stranger: Be

You: Like, it help being the ugly in the group!

Stranger: I bet you’re not ugly

You: I bet I was 😂

Stranger: You definitely have a better personality than all these fake girls I hook up with

You: Or at least in the latest situation, where this girl nonchalantly told my friend that he shouldn't be hanging with me 😂 And I just took my drink said have fun and left, I didn't even need to wing him, she caught the bait anyway

Stranger: Lmao, that’s me sometimes

Stranger: Truth or dare

You: I'm keeping it to truth really, I'm a bit unsettled with dare lmao

Stranger: You’ve dared me the craziest shit, I’ll dare you some low key shit

You: Oh boy 😂

Stranger: Dare?

You: Come at me, bro

You: Show me all you got

You: GGRRRRRRRR

Stranger: I dare you too...

Stranger: Hmmmmmm

Stranger: Take off all your clothes, go to the shower, and stand in it for thirty seconds under the coldest setting the water goes

You: hahaha, oh now

You: no*

You: That won't work here

You: The coldest isn't considered cold, it's like, lukewarm

You: I can stick my feet and hands in the freezer?

Stranger: No no no

Stranger: I may have a better one😂😂

You: Is lukewarm even a word... jees wat are engresh

Stranger: I dare you to grab do the same as said, except for the shower, and instead grab an ice cube and let it melt on your stomach for a minute😂😂

You: Youre talking to someone from Norway, I'mma do that shit with 4 cubes

Stranger: Bet

You: brb I guess

Stranger: Lmao, I’ll do it too

You: Wait, can I have it in a plastic bag?

You: Don't wanna have it spilling down my bed D:

Stranger: Nope, it’s gotta melt

You: man, fuck you

You: Fine, brb

Stranger: I just grabbed some ice cubes

Stranger: Alr, my clothes are off. You ready?

You: Jupp

You: I done it

You: And I take it back

You: It's suprisingly VERY cold 😂

Stranger: This is cold

Stranger: Shit mine is melting a little bit😂😂

You: Is it now I say shove it up your ass, son

You: 😂😂😂

Stranger: no😂😂😂

Stranger: Oh god, it’s falling towards my dick

You: I'm literally planking, that shit sliding nowhere

You: But I can bet my phone is gonna slide outta my hands and hit me in the collarbones

Stranger: Lmao, hold it tighter

Stranger: Damn, the water on the dick was t as bad as I thought it would be

Stranger: I took mine off

You: only 1 outta 4 has melted completely

Stranger: Your skin must be warm, damn

You: Not really, my doctor tend to say I got blue blood

You: But ought to think I'd be warmer

You: Taking long time to melt

Stranger: You should just take them off now

You: DARE IS A DARE! I whisper as I wipe it all away

You: What a wild ride really

You: 😂😂😂😂

Stranger: Lmao, I bet if we were together right now we’d have some better dares for each other

You: "Let's see who dies first" kinda dares really

You: "Yo catch" throws a fucking bag of nails and a hammer

Stranger: Lmao, idk about those kind of dares

You: I guess a dare ain't shit to me cause I'd do it anyway

You: Or well, I'm never downing 4 fireball shots under 1 minute

Stranger: I guarantee that if we were together rn we’d literally be racing to see which ice cube melts the fastest

You: It's important to learn from mistakes

You: hahaha, jupp

You: I would definately dare you to have you put it up your ass 😂

Stranger: If you did that then I would dare you to have it melt on your vagina😂😂

You: Guilty as charged, I've tried

Stranger: Really?!

You: It's just as bad as it sounds

You: Don't put it in the vagina

Stranger: Lmao, I dare you to put it on the vagina😂😂😂

You: Nope

You: Hell nah, sonny

You: I'm outta this game

You: 😂

Stranger: Damn, you’re dope

You: 😂😂😂😂

You: It's such an American expression, I find it kind of funny of you calling me it

Stranger: Dope is my thang. I’ll always be like “that sex was dope”

You: Yeah, it's equivalent to cool, rad, amazing etc I guess

Stranger: Yes it is

Stranger: I’m bored, you wanna get kinky?

You: Well, not-a-soccerboy

You: recommend some music

You: Nah, I ain't the kinky type

Stranger: Don’t you listen to Norwegian stuff though?

You: If you up to kinky, you rather skip me so I don't go waste your type honestly >_<

You: What do you mean with Norwegian stuff?

You: Most of them sing in English 😂

Stranger: Like, songs

Stranger: Ohhhhhh

Stranger: 😂

You: hmm, Breathe by SeeB is pretty cool

You: that song just finished playing

Stranger: Runaway by Kanye West

You: let's have a toast for the douche bags

Stranger: Best song

You: I remember being surprised when he released that song

You: Maybe one of the "not kanye" songs that are close to my heart

You: one of the few*

Stranger: Yo, I think I’m gonna take a nap before I have to go to football again, want my number so we can talk again?

You: Anonymity is a thrill for me, I rather not

You: I hope you enjoy your nap and prosper in football!

Stranger: Come onnnn, I wanna talk again

You: Nothing more, you better stick to that

Stranger: Ok

You: Snapchat? I don't do social media much

Stranger: Sure

You:  <<<

You: I'mma probably show up as 

You: Don't fret, I've got a vagina

Stranger: Ok

Stranger: I’ll add you

Stranger: Adios muchacho

You: l8ers

Stranger has disconnected.

[ts-seychelles]

EP. 1 - “The Ghosts of Tumblr Survivor Past, Present, and Future“ - AUGUSTO

So getting to know my tribe, I see a couple of familiar faces like Jared and JG from other places. Regan also hosted Flops which is a good thing since I got along with her. However if I'm being honest I feel like I connect with Dan the most, hopefully we can talk a bit more because I want to work with him in the future. 

from deep within the void* hi sisters It’s me, Dan. So I really am like doing nothing in this game rn. I’m the only person who said they could do the flag and I know my gay ass isn’t good enough for that. So I’m just going to submit some bullshit I make in five minutes and call it a day. Fucking Alex Crooks is on the other side and I can hear his cocky little ass right now being like. “WeLl I’m MoSt QuAlIfIEd BeCaUsE i MaDe GrApHiCs FoR pReViOuS tS sEaSoNs” I literally don’t even know him that well but I hate him so I hope he’s an early boot so I don’t even have to entertain the idea of speaking to him on a game or personal level. Call me a bitch, call me jealous, but seeing him stroke his own ego for no reason in VLs has completely turned me off to ever wanting to talk to him ever. Don’t even get me started on that extra ass intro video sis. Get a hobby. As far as my tribe goes, I will do anything for Sam Bosse, so. Jared knows Amanda and is dating Nicole and may be the weirdest person I’ve ever had to talk to. Agus is cool and I wanna work with him I think. And honestly I don’t remember anyone else’s name rn.....oh Allison! She’ll probably be inactive for the first week, we’ll lose the challenge and hopefully vote her out. It’s just #EasierThatWay And that’s all you really missed on Glee. *fades into the abyss*

REGAN SCARES TF OUTTA ME. DRAKE IS A COOL DUDE. I LOVE SAM. AUGUSTO DESERVES THE WORLD. AND FRANKIE IS PRETTY CHILL. ALSO, I MESSED UP REALLY BAD AND CALLED ALLISON AMANDA. 

It’s time to open shop cause we’re back for business, baby! And this time we REALLY mean business. Okay, yeah… that’s cringy but I’m just really thankful that I’m back for the fifth time to redeem myself. Redemption means to finish what I’ve set out to do the four times I’ve played before; to win. I’ve messed it up for myself countless times before and it’s up to me to do better, be better. Now it’s just a matter of how it’ll happen. :D 

Just put back 99 bottles down with Johnny and Vilma. We knocked it out perfectly in about as little time as possible, so I think we've got at least 1 of our 3 that we need to win immunity. We spent an hour and a half talking to each other so we really got to build something too. I'm glad that we did that and hope we can all move forward together. 

With this being my fifth game, this isn’t my first rodeo per se but I need to act like it is for my sake. I always come into games with 150% effort right off the bat and it gets me out incredibly early, so I guess you could say my strategy is to be more chill? I want to really put effort into my relationships with people on this first day so there’s a semi-solid foundation for at least this round. More often than not, the people that are active and likable during the first day end up staying at least for the very first round. After I make good conversation with a majority of our tribe the first day, I’ll be a little less active in talking to people and see who keeps up the effort to talk to me, etc. Let’s see how long I keep this up though… 

*a few moments later*

This cast = stacked, period. I’m genuinely happy for everyone returning to right their wrongs (yes, even Johnny). The Lazare Tribe has the better tribe color, no cap… but I’m glad I’m on Malabar. I’ve played with Johnny and Roxy in Flops and Great Lakes respectively, plus I lost to Alex in my first ORG ever. While being on a tribe with Roxy would be a good time guaranteed, it wouldn’t be good for either of us in terms of longevity cause I feel we’d be clumped together and targeted for it. So for the moment, I’ll have to be without the icon herself and hope to be on a tribe with her in the future. As far as Johnny goes, he was a large reason why I left Flops in the first place plus we were super close allies that never trusted each other, so if we do meet again it would either be a clash of the titans or the best collab since Mariah and Whitney. (K, I cringed @that but it works). Plus, he was the one who randomized the rock draw that got me out in Socotra so the universe is basically saying he is not one to be trusted! If we would’ve started on a tribe together, things would’ve gotten awkward quick so I’m glad I’m spared from that and can spread my own wings until I meet him again. SO yeah, thank you hosts for putting me on Malabar, xoxo.

*a few moments later*

Guess the hosts are feeling the Christmas spirit by bringing the Ghosts of Tumblr Survivor Past, Present, and Future to us. You guessed it, our season’s twist is Ghost Island, which centers around all the mistakes, misplays, and misfortunes of all who have played TS before. I mean they played TS to begin with so that’s probably the first mistake, but in all seriousness… I probably have like 58493 items hidden at Ghost Island. We got the misplayed extra vote from Flops, the idol I went home with in Flops, the exile pass I didn’t use in Great Lakes, the rock I drew in Socotra, we could probably even include the whole Aomak tribe and Great Lakes as a whole. All in all, we got options! As you can see, I don’t have the best experience with advantages but as part of my unfinished business, I want to go to Ghost Island to at least have the opportunity to redeem myself. This’ll be interesting for sure, especially since someone will be exiled from Tribal Council every round which is an advantage and disadvantage within itself. Realistically though, I can see them sending in Regan every round cause people are like that lmaooooo 

* another few moments later*

Okay, I think I’m doing okay for like the first time ever? I don’t know, my tribe is just really cool and I’ve vibed with almost everyone to some extent. If I had to pick my favorite person on the tribe, I would say Samantha just because we legit have so much in common and had some surprisingly deep conversation like about how diversity is super important in our society. So yeah, she’s awesome. If I had to pick a second, it would be either Ashen or Jared just because we’ve had tons of laughs in our conversations, which is nice. For example, Ashen talked about being from Tennessee and hating country music which turned into us having a fake band and then with Jared, we were making jokes about how we are making profit off of our fake OnlyFans account. Regan and I are somewhat close, just because she hosted me and like I try to be really nice to her since some people act kinda messed up towards her. Drake and I were both in Flops, but we never interacted since we were never on a tribe together and same goes with Dan in Great Lakes, so hopefully I get the chance to play with them. While I started interacting with Frankie kinda late, we’ve had some cute little chats which is nice. JG was a little hard to talk to in PMs, but we were interacting a lot during the tribe call so who knows! The only person that I, and I think everyone else, haven’t really talked to is Allison just because she hasn’t been here all that much. I do know her somewhat from playing Izu Islands with her though, so if she and I talk it’d be fun to catch up and get to know each other more. This is all great, but it’d make a future tribal kinda difficult. I do think that Allison would be a scapegoat for everyone, which is a tiny bit reassuring but again, you never know. 

The Art of the Meme: My social game is good enough to get me through to a potential tribe swap. I HOPE. And it is all encompassed in my ability to make others laugh. How, you say? Memes. I try my best to analyze the personalities of the tribe and place whichs memes fit best with each person during lulls in the conversation. That way, it never seems like the convo is drying up! Relationship Rankings: 1. JG 2. Dan 3. Drake 4. Samantha 5. Augusto 6. Reegan 7. Ashen 8. Frankie 9. Allison

Normally I do video confessionals, but we'll do this just to have something in real quick while it's fresh! Just jumped off call with Alex. Hands down this is the guy I wanna work with coming into this game. Only guy I know who's a loyal type of player unless given reason not to be. That's who I want on my side. He's also a threat in these games and having a nice little punching bag in front of me throughout this game will be nice lol. So without even second guessing, he's the guy I'm riding this game out with. Obviously though I need to make some other connections and right now priorities lie with Johnny, Roxy, and Zach. Johnny I connect with the most outside of Alex. He seems pretty tight and honestly they like each other so maybe forming a 3 with them in the future would make my day!!! Roxy on the other hand is a little intense and is obviously a social threat. However having people like her on my side to make connections that I can't is vital to my game so I really want to work on her/him too idk lol. Finally, we have Zach. This guy I didn't even talk to up until recently, however Alex seems to think he's in a really good spot with the entire tribe already with 24 hours of the game starting lol. Alex seems to think it's impossible to get this guy out early and you know what they say? If you can't beat them, join them! So my "mission" right now is to get super tight with this guy because if not, I could easily be the first boot on this tribe for not connecting with the "King Pin"

Ok, so we lost the first challenge and Alison is basically guaranteed first boot due to her inactivity. But I kind of hope they send her to ghost island so we get the real drama and have to make rifts in the game and go for blood instead of an easy target. As long as it’s not me I don’t really care.

okay winning the first immunity while I tried to plan the strategy of all three components of the challenge? LIVING FOR IT Not sending Regan to the first ghost island because she's a troll and I kind of hate everything she does as a person? Also here for it. Very happy Jared went to Ghost Island because I'm trying to get him to trust me this time around, and hopefully my friendship with Nicole can blossum into something great. I know not many people are going to actively try to work with both of them, so if I can manage to work with both of them for as long as they're in the game, I feel it'll benefit me? idk. it's tricky At least I'm safe! No 20th for me whewwwwwww 

*a few moments later*

I DONT KNOW HOW I DO IT BUT I LITERALLY FOUND AN IDOL ON MY FIRST TRY Not telling anyone. If people ask me about my searches im going to get so triggered because i don't know how to lie about not finding anything yet, but god speed. I can't wait for my three episode unfinished business stint to be OTTNN for 3 episodes and then be voted out because I went to someone's house and actually set them on fire? Queen Ashlyn WHO? 

So my tribe lost first immuntiy such a bummer, I mean i hope im not first boot but honestly i dont know. People say Allison since shes been inactive so im fine with that but im going to hold my vote until i know for sure since everything can change in 24 hours i had it happen to me. 

so roxy and alex are sending fucking audio messages of themselves singing in the tribe chat and it’s kinda annoying like damn i didn’t know this was the voice //: 

The idol hunt is on. I already know 7 places that it isn't thanks to everyone else. I'm going to keep trying to figure it out using communications with other people. I'm going to give it a shot on my own now. 

Hello this is Roxy and it's my first confessional. We just finished our first immunity and we want really happy because I like my tribe and I do not know who I would have voted out if we went to tribal I think I'm in a very good standing but my social game is plummeting with everyday I need to really get my head in the game and to get to know people I haven't been able to do that and that's not good like I talked a bit and it's all Hollow on Surface but if I really want everybody to be in my pants when I need to crank up by social game two little bit hard with the fact that I'm only Australian and I'm not the best at social because I don't know what to say or how to start a conversation other than when it comes to strategy and talking to my strategy is not good and Elsa leads to paranoia which leads to getting voted out or idoled out. I'll see if there are some words that don't make sense in those days because I'm doing a speech to text thing because I'm too lazy to type but I really want this n text nobody's gonna watch the video. So I will do a cost assessment now for ACL to my tribe so we have alex crooks I love it looks crooks he's really nice and sweet and have a connection through steam but the problem is I haven't been able to socialize with him alot or connect with him so that will be my top priority because I really want to work with him and I think you'll feel loyal to me Next we have asya.  She's nice and I know her from house of shade I haven't been able to talk to her much apart from the first day I got a 6 that I don't think I see myself working with her long term but I know that is supported to have strong social connection with her because I think she's a loyal type it should stick to her Ally and she could also easily turn people against me I think she has that kind of social power Next is Johnny I like him and I really want to work with him I f***** him up into other or something lol it cencored me. Anyways I want to work closely with him and I think it will be better official to me beneficial not official to be bothered to backspace and Away the only problem with him is that I don't have that much impact usually I feel like I'm seen more as under the radar the matter what I do so then I brought up the bigger players and Johnny is somebody who easily get so much credit just because he is a present and I don't have my skills but still want to talk with her VI: There's my girl and I think if I have a final 2 she would be it I think she's loyal once you're stuck with me and yeah she's cute nice nicole: I haven't had a lot of chance to talk with Nicole she's been sort of not that here because it she's sick but I think she is potential big Ally but I don't feel a lot of potential or f*** I just said potential twice I mean like this potential but I don't know for sure and we'll see how time Curtis but we'll see I don't know Ruben: There is another contender for final to it'll be Reuben I think that he won't ever but he'll be super loyal and I'm going to put a lot of effort into my relationship with them because I believe that is the why is this for me strategically and he also seems really nice he always apologize for everything must be from New Zealand lol jokes VIlma: Barely seems to be on but I think when I go overseas I want to go to Israel time zone is my line better but I'm not sure Zach seems to like her and he wants to bring her into reliance in says oh because she's not that on that much she'll be loyal to us and I think that workout zach: So I can I have a tricky past but I think he will remain loyal to me which is why ive decided to allign with him. He has already made a 1 on 1 chat with me and a f3 chat with vi and i and wants an allaince with alex myself johnny vi and vilma. lets see how that goes. ALso we fuckin squashed them. Heh. 

"It's been almost 5 hours on Exile... I haven't eaten in days. The rumblings of my stomach are a chorus to the ears of a wild, lonely man. Only strategy crosses my mind now. How do I win this game? How do I maximize the advantage of having Nicole here and minimize the potential detriment? I have good bonds already with the occupants of Lazare. Johnny, though once a foe, could prove to be an asset to me in this game. I won't count my chickens before they hatch." *BONG BONG BONG go the drums of the natives* "Cannibals, certainly. And so I hide, erasing my plans, finger-drawn in the dirt." ~4 hours pass~ "The hosts have come and gone. 'Eureka!' they say, their camera phones foreign to me now. I have decided to give the Legacy Advantage to Nicole. Still, I question this decision. It is unlikely that this tool will have much utility now. There are benefits to being away from Malabar. Obvious in it's nature- Ghost Island will protect me from eviction. Though alliances will be formed without me, I should be able to make it to the tribe swap with the relationships I've nurtured, needing only a majority of 5 when I return. I will sleep for now, dreams bound to be boasting new plans. Sweet byebye forever Cao Boi." 

The challenge flop from Flops jumped out and so did the losing Great Laker from Socotra… and the Sarpang member from Bhutan…. All in all, a sis sucks at challenge as shown by me bringing a DODGEBALL to a PAINTBALL fight. Starting off on the losing tribe is something I’m sadly used to, but I hope it doesn’t become a Aomak Part 2 as that was enough for me to take tbh. With Malabar losing however, it gives us a chance to form strategic connections which sucks for Jared who was sent to Ghost Island. Him being sent was a little weird to me since I expected someone like Samantha or even Allison to be sent, but I’m glad he’s going since we were pretty tight those from 3 days. Speaking of Allison, where is she? She legit hasn’t shown up and I hope it isn’t anything serious outside of the game and if it is, I’m sorry Allison (when she sees this). That being said, she’s the likely first boot since she’s the most inactive. Although, I am a bit concerned for Samantha since she’s been a little quiet recently and she told me not many talk to her. Plus, Dan let me know her name was out there a little bit and gave me a backstory on Sam and Regan’s supposed beef. Dan and I have really gotten closer in these past few days and he actually approached me about working together, so I’m glad I actually have a semi-solid ally this early! Tribal council seems easy for this first round and I hope it stays that way for at least a little bit :D 

so tbh im super nervous no one is speaking to me and like I honestly think it can't possibly be as simple as Allison. But then again are they dumb enough to vote me, who could be an asset over an inactive like Allison? Also I trust Dan, Augusto, and Drake

[365daysof2017]

50/365

Dear tumblr,

I’m gonna start off my posts like this. Hi it’s me. Ash. I’m back. Sorry I didn’t post much last January but you know me, I get lazy, and I procrastinate. I’m just gonna continue where I left off with my previous blog, 366daysof2016, though, I still can’t process that it’s already 2017. 

So how am I? Great. Honestly, not. Life is really really really complicated. It’s probably really simple, just me making things complicated, I don’t know.

 I actually have been worse. I thought I’ve already moved on from David. You see, I told myself that I already need to forget him and all, and I actually did. I met some guys on kik, some lasted on my chatbox, and some didn’t, but everything seemed okay. Everything seemed okay. Then for some reasons, I started cutting my wrist. I have plans to do it again sometime but, I can still hold it.

Okay back to the “David” topic. Everything keeps coming back and it was really hard for me cause I don’t have any space in my mind to think about him. I’m already thinking about a shit ton of crap in my head, and I don’t want to think about him anymore. I thought I already forgot about him. But everything keeps coming back.

So this one day, last Saturday, we went to an Amusement Park. Nothing connected to him at all. I had so much fun! I got home at around 11PM. Then I had a fucking dream. 

It’s the worst type of dream, cause I was lucid. I’m always lucid when I dream about him, so it makes it  even harder. In my dreame, he went to the Phillipines, he apologized. He did everything. I already kinda forgot, but one thing I remember is that it was fun. I had fun. I was happy.

The morning after, I realized how important he was to me, god I was thinking about him the whole fucking day! How I was so happy with him, how he made me feel special... The whole fucking day.

At around 10PM, I was on kik, just randomly flirting with strangers online. I did something impulsive. I messaged him. 

me: dude me: I fucking hate you so much me: I wasn’t done with you yet and you fucking blocked me. So here’s the time where I was supposed to reply another message cause I was gonna flood him with hate messages, but he fucking replied. Instantly. I didn’t expect that. He never replies fast.

David: Ok. me: You fucking left me hanging David: Yea David: I suppose so me: You even called the night before you blocked me! me: what me: that’s it David: I’m sorry me: no explanation or anything David: I dont know what to say me: right me: just fucking say something please

Oh god I was so annoyed and so pissed and so nervous I felt everything at once. He didn’t even say anything. I wanted to hear something from him. I wanted an explanation. That was the only thing I needed to move on and yet he couldn’t give it to me.

David: I just David: Idk I got caught up with the army David: And I was afraid I’d hurt you David: So I ran from the situation David: Which still hurt you but atleast left room for hate me: and went to her instead me: yup

Ohhh shit put an ice to that burn, bitch.

David: Lol I’m not dating anyone so don’t try that

Uhm excuse me? Don’t you think I know anything you’ve been up to? Man I know everything. I have eyes everywhere. Everywhere. It’s kinda creepy, tbh.

me: lmaooooo me: songia??? David: Go look at my stuff David: Not dating anyone David: In fact we broke up and I slept with someone else and now we don’t talk at all First thing that came up to my mind: He’s not a virgin anymore. LMAOO.

David: So that’s that sticky situation I wasted 2 years on

Ha. Sticky. Cause you slept with someone? LMAO OKAY. me: right me: fuck me: its been months me: and its still you me: fuck you okay David: What do you mean me

Dumb-fucking-ass?? Are you that ignorant? or are you just dumb???

me: I hate you so much me: you’re still the one I remember David: Okay I expect that me: I keep having dreams

(lmao why did I say that?)

David: I’m sorry David: I dont know what to say or do me: and its fucking annoying me: its so hard to forget you me: I keep getting these dreams me: and it just made me remember you even more David: Sorry David: I don’t know what to say

ikr, it’s not like it’s your fault I get the dreams??

me: why did you just block me though me: why didn’t you atleast say something David: Trying to run again David: Realized it’s not the right thing to do David: I don’t have anything to say David: You’re right I shouldn’t have left you hanging David: It was wrong of me David: I thought about it too David: I felt bad David: But I couldn’t face it me: fuck you for leaving me when I already fell for you. me: you even said you’re gonna go here me: ugh David: Fuck me David: Okay I get it David: You hate me David: I’m shit David: Leave me alone if that’s all you want to say

Seriously dude, do you really not sense my purpose here? I want you back.

me: I just wanted an explanation lol me: and I didn’t want you to leave me: those were the words you said and I can’t believe I’m saying it me: I don’t want you to leave me alone

So that’s it that’s the serious part. The next part of our conversation wasn’t as long as this one but we were just bantering around. I don’t think he’s as comfortable with me as he was before but I feel like there’s still something.

I just feel so confused about my feelings for him, confused about what we are, confused about what he feels for me. Last Friday, he sent me a message, and I was in school

9:51 AM David: Hey David: You busy?

So I read it during my lunch time cause we were doing something

11:39 AM me: I’m in school

1:42 PM David: Call me after

2:32 PM me: I can’t I have like 100MB left

9:43 PM David: Ughh David: Noooo David: When do you get more David: You are legit so cute David: In your picture David: And your body looks good lol David: JUST SAYING.

I wasn’t able to reply cause I was watching this Selena Gomez film, Monte Carlo. It was really nice btw, I loved it.

11:00 PM me: LMAOOO me: I’m home now it’s like 11 David: What lol. David: I know, I know David: Why you laugh. me: idk me: whats up David: Laying in bed being lazy David: Hbu Piper

Fuck. Right in the feels. So much nostalgia. Piper’s the daughter of Aphrodite in the series that we love, he used to call me Piper, and I told him if I’m Piper then he’s the Jason to my Piper. (Jason’s the love interest of Piper in the books)

me: I just finished watching a movie me: and it was greatttt I loved it David: What movie? David: *sends a cute selfie* David: Lol look @ me

okay so I totally forgot that he asked a question cause a cute fucking selfie just popped in my screen.

me: you look different David: Do I? David: How so?? David: Bad huh David: Thanks I’m ugly ik me: yeah idk me: you look happy me: no wdym ugly David: I am ugly David: You making fun of me lol David: Thanks me: wtf you’re not ugly shut up me: what time is it there me: and where are you David: I’m in kentucky US David: And it is 0912 there!

Idk that’s probably how they read time in the army

David: Girl you’re obsessed David: Lmao jkjk me: ruuude David: No me: Kentucky though me: KFC David: I like you dw

okay... fuck... that was sudden. I mean, good job! That’s a great way to make me even more confused about what’s happening here!

me: ha David: Yes lmao! David: It’s not that good David: I figured it would be the best here David: But it’s the same as everywhere else me: really? me: that’s sad David: It’s nothing special David: Send me a selfie? me: I dont have a selfie me: jk David: Send me one David: Now David: I order you me: dude me: chill David: Lol nope I wanna seee youuuu me: I’m still looking for something decent David: Send them all David: Right meow me: *sends a selfie* me: tada me: I like that one lmao me: hoe filter me: I got more pimples me: smhhhh me: *sends another selfie* me: and one time my hair became like this hahah David: Fucking cute David: Is that overalls lol me: yes hahah

Then he left me on read. But because I’m a creepy-ass stalker that knows his facebook account, I saw his post that he shared. The post said, “I like clingy. I’d rather have someone who blows up my phone and shows they care than someone who texts back 12 hours later” So I messaged him this morning. I didn’t care if I double texted. 

me: dude me: when are you free David: Not tonight, I don’t think me: aw but when David: Idk I’m with jocelyn rn

Who’s Jocelyn???

me: ohh okay me: tell me when you’re available David: Okay

So that was it. I notice that I keep on using the word ‘dude’. Idk what to call him?? Maybe I’ll refer to him as Jason soon. Back to his facebook though, he also shared a post that said, “I blocked my ex on everything but she somehow managed to message me through direct tv *a pic of that*”.. Well.. Was that me? Lol. I dont know!! Someone commented though, “Man, if she goes through that much trouble to try to talk to you I would have to give her a second chance haha” then he replied, “that’s true hahah” UGH ITS JUST SO CONFUSING. So that’s all I have to say about him.

Now I’m here typing this blog. I don’t know, I just wanna talk to him, on the phone. Maybe that’d clear things up, but for now, I never think about our future. I don’t wanna think about the next step, cause when it doesn’t happen, I’m just gonna be twice disappointed. 

This was really a long first blogpost. See ya next time. 

Love, Ash