#these two physically hurt me
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my favorite changbin looks (10/∞)
#staysource#bystay#3rachasource#userbeepls#usersun#userlau#jaybrainrot#melontrack#cheekyuser#stray kids#changbin#m.gif#m.scb#m.binlooks#not to scream under my own gifset but the first two gifs..... physically hurt me to make#he's so HOT#honestly...... really proud of these#i think they look rlly pretty 🥺😬
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Life is beautiful
#wrote I two years ago after scratching a hole in my arm#yeah personal art inspired by a vent doodle on my Italian notes from two years ago#I used to feel so much anger it physically hurt my lungs#literally burning on the inside typa thing#and today I woke up thinking about the small sun character hugging the flowers I drew#I wanted them like that#it made me happy#very self indulgent#but it makes me happy#fight club#soapshipping
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What do you guys think they're talking about?
#art#drawing#wrightworth#narumitsu#ace attorney fanart#ace attorney#phoenix wright#miles edgeworth#I love yaoi men#yaoi yaoi yaoi yaoi#AAHHHHH#AAAHHH IDK ANYMORE I DIDNT EXPECT TO BE IN A FANDOM FOR MORE THAN A MONTH#EVERYTIME I SEE ANYTHING ACE ATTORNEY RELAED I GO NUTS#THIS IS LIKE THAT ONE TOMTORD PHASE I HAD#AND I NEVER TALK ABOUT THAT PHASE#I LOVE THESE TWO SO MUCH IT PHYSICALLY HURTS#Also#I haven't played Apollo Justice yet so wish me luck thnxx#I LOVE PHOENIX WRIGHGTTTT RRRAAGHHH!!!!
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Reunion
"Rook, is that really you?" "It's me."
This render has been sitting basically finished, just un-rendered and un-edited in my folders for WEEKS now, which is a crime, because it's fucking adorable.
Rook finally got to see his former captain and mentor, Zara, again for the first time in 3 years, and it was a very bittersweet reunion. She ended up revealing that she was aware of every single things that Wolf was doing to him during his time on the Sea Snake, but was unable to do anything about it because if she or anyone under her employ were to attempt to rescue him, Wolf would have killed him. As it turns out, she gave up sailing in order to protect him, lest Wolf take any movement of hers as a threat.
Here's my write-up of the first part of the scene:
And of course the reunion was then interrupted by the arrival of a giant snake which proceeded to eat Jay, the former surgeon's apprentice on Zara's ship and Rook's only friend prior to meeting the party. When he showed up Zara had been about to explain something very important to Rook (why Wolf hates her so much, and why she went after Rook), and after weeks of delays and fighting the giant snake, Rook (and I) finally get to find out the truth on Saturday.
Zara's been hinting that it's something Not Good and that she's worried about his reaction, but luckily for her, Rook would forgive her literally anything. And I do mean anything. She was the first person in his life who was ever truly kind to him, and she means more to him than any other person in his life. And this is the same man who tried to tell the BBEG of the entire campaign that he "wasn't that person anymore", after only knowing him for a matter of months. (In his defense he didn't know he was the BBEG.) In comparison, he'd been sailing with Zara for 6 years before he was captured.
Oh, and she's also going to give him her old ship, the Tide Breaker, and name him captain, which is going to be a bit of a mindfuck for him, given his intense guilt over Jay and like 18 other bad things that have happened to the party recently. Augh, I can't wait.
#ts4#ts4 edit#the sims 4#sims 4 edit#my edits#ts4 render#sims 4 render#my renders#oc: Rook#oc: Zara#dnd renders#ts4 fantasy#sims 4 fantasy#fun fact: Rook completely froze up when she hugged him because he's barely had any positive physical contact in the past 3 years.#Not so fun fact: He was also focusing all of his energy into now showing her that her hug was hurting hm because the keelhauling wounds on#his back are still healing and he has a horrible habit of hiding his injuries from her. In this case he doesn't want to make her feel even#worse with her guilt about him getting captured. She knows he was captured a second time and tortured but she doesn't know about the#keelhauling or the fact that he arrived in Xen half-dead. (Jay probably would have told her but Jay was dead and is now a bird so...)#But I'm pretty sure she's going to find out this session and it's going to break my heart.#Goddddd these two make me sick. /pos I love them so fucking much. I could talk about them for HOURS.#I've written some little tidbits from when Rook was sailing with Zara and the way she treated him... Augh.#No wonder he would do anything for her. She was the first person to ever show him genuine kindness.#Sailing with her was the first time he was ever truly happy and he could never ever repay her enough for that.
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never has there ever been a ship that goes through this cycle like asaden does
#IMAGE NOT MINE. ITS FROM THE TWITTER FOLKS#almost fooled myself into thinking that i got over this ship.. i was finally gonna live my best life but this chapter reeled me back in DAMN#like SIKE u thought#theyre so ENDGAME otp it actually hurts#the chokehold asaden has is unmatched#asaden#chainsaw man#csm spoilers#chainsaw man 149#denji#csm#asa mitaka#denji hayakawa#csm denji#mitaka asa#DENJI AND ASA ARE SO STARVED FOR LOVE IM SICK#ASADEN IS LIKE. TWO POOR STRAY PUPPIES LEFT OUT IN THE RAIN TRYNA KEEP EACH OTHER WARM DESPITE THE WHOLE WORLD DROWNING IN A NEVER ENDING#ONSLAUGHT OF MURKY PUDDLE TYPE WATER#SICKENING. I FEEL PHYSICALLY ILL
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fears of inadequacy
#dirk strider#jake english#dirkjake#angst#hurt but not quite sure about the comfort#im just saying that as much as these two work on themselves they do not know how to handle intense emotions#its not a bad thing its just something they deal with#growing up completely alone with no one to physically comfort you would kinda emotionally stunt anyone you know#UGH damn it theyre so important to me#they both struggle with self worth like crazy#i love them being disasters together#i want to see them grow but more importantly i want to see them suffer
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Wyll breaking up with the player character if Ulder dies so Wyll must become the Duke makes me wanna throw up sobbing because he actually thinks that just because his father's first duty being to Baldur's Gate made him a Bad Father that Wyll himself will inevitably be a Bad Lover because surely no one could match love with duty if his father couldn't, unknowing he has more love in one hand than his father had in his entire body. fuck
#More in my reblog#“my father taught me more lessons than I can count” yeah dog they were called CAUTIONARY TALES 😭😭😭#“pull me too close and I'm destined to hurt you” FUCKIGN. BITING YOU#“a champion's heart is as sharp as a new blade” SO CRAZY I GOT THIS SICK ASS ARMOUR. TRY ME.#I'm actually in physical pain over this. Wyll my love.#I need to rip ulder in two with my bare hands right now.#sorry I JUST saw the breakup scene for the first time today and I haven't stopped thinking about it it's making me ill with sadness#he didn't even break up with ME but it fucking feels like it goddamn#bg3#Wyll Ravengard#baldur's gate 3#baldurs gate 3#bg3 analysis#oh my GOD and the fact that he offers one last dance. I'mgoing to ufckingexplode#and he spends five whole seconds just. holding the character. not even dancing.#I watched the version with him and astarion ofc I don't romance wyll myself (lesbianism)#makes me wanna write a fucking fic (derogatory)#why the fuck is everyone so ill over astarion when mr insane mental health issues is RIGHT here (i know why. but still)
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breaking the tumblr fast to ask for prayer :') it is currently the WORST of times (though, in intense joyous flashes, occasionally also the best of times). I am bulldozing my way through the dregs of midterms, final exam prep, graduation plans, job applications, dorm volunteer stuff, all while trying to deal with/reckon with/endure/come to terms with/persevere through literally the deepest emotional pain I've ever been in lol
#is this the price you pay for consciously deciding to keep your heart open and vulnerable to both joy and pain ??? !!!!!!#anyway it is not always misery but the miserable parts make my chest physically hurt :-) which is fun#would deeply deeply appreciate prayer my friends! i do not want to graduate as a jaded tired weeping girl! and i am so tired!#the world is so big and i am so small and i did not think i had it in me to be so sad but i AM#it would take too long to explain but suffice it to say i've never wept for two hours straight before but now that i have#i must tell you that it is not a good time. at all.#i love you and i miss you and i am doing my best :'))))))) I AM DOING MY BEST!!!!!
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I live very very peacefully knowing Sakura would canonically beat the shit out of anyone who slightly hurt Nirei
#don't mind me i just adore protective boyfriends#not to fall like. in the cliché but sometimes you just need an 'if you touch him i'll kill you' vibe from your ship#i keep wanting nirei to get hurt badly so they have to physically stop sakura from hurting himself fighting whoever hurt his boyfriend#but honestly they're already so in love i don't even care anymore#can you tell i'm having a moment regarding these two today#wind breaker#wind breaker (satoru nii)#sakura haruka#nirei akihiko
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fuck vague posting I’m just full on ranting
#today was the first time I felt really jealous... someone I like was on a date with a dude which lasted multiple (like at least 6/7) hours#And it hurts more than with her situationship because there you always knew that it was more physical than emotional#but well she can't do anything about my feelings and I can't blame her for going on dates#the thing is… we wanted to meet up together since before our last exam… that was AGES ago#I just have the feeling that I'm just being pushed around to fit in the schedules when everything else is being taken care of first#and now we actually agreed to meet this Saturday but guess what... another friend has concert tickets for Saturday evening#which means that I'm being pushed back again (tho I don’t think that friend doesn't knows anything about the person and I's plan)#and now I feel like I'm being pushed back from both of them :/#because the two of them are going to have a nice day together again tomorrow#(for context this other friends wasn’t in the country for a few months and this’ll be the first time any of us sees her since she left)#and yes it shouldn't be important to me who "meets her first” but it still hurts for several reasons…#sometimes I just feel a bit left out with the two of them#and I would like to just cry about all this crap but I just can't… I've forgotten how to cry about my problems (and that fucks me up too)#op dasloddl
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thank you for coming home my dearest wife and for letting me win 50-50 for the 3rd time in a row. i promise i will go attend an online mass this sunday as thanks to u. i also hope you like the ice soup that we'll be having for xmas bc damn ur so expensive 💸💸💸💸😭😭😭😭 (worth)
ALSO OK I ACTUALLY RLLY DID RAN OUT OF LUCK BC WTF DO U MEAN I WON 50-50 FOR THE 3RD TIME ON A LIMITED CHARACTER BUT THEN I LOST ON A 75-25 ON THE LIGHTCONE BANNER??? IS IT REALLY TOO MUCH TO ASK FOR A 2ND WIN ON A BANNER WITH 75-25 CHANCES??? I HAD A 75% CHANCE BUT FELL TO THE 25% INSTEAD??? AT LEAST GIVE ME A 5* HARMONY CARD???
they rlly drained me for this one bc i got sunday at around 78th pull, then the standard lc at around 68th pull.
we will still ball though!!! i'll just slowly grind for his lc bc i don't wanna spend more than i budgeted (i have a legit huge expense coming my way soon 💀💀💀). there's still time, next one is guaranteed to be his lightcone. so it won't be a repeat of that fucking gen/shin donut incident. 🫡🫡🫡
im actually so afraid to continue pena/cony story quest bc even without that he alr hit bullseye on my preferences, it's insane. judging from the summary cyl gave me, im abt to be more ill for him. last time i was ill enough to spend money to pull for both chara & lc, it was for jing/liu, so yeah.
on the brighter & more positive side of things! life could be worse! hiba/ri kyo/ya could've been a limited 5* character in an alive & thriving mi/hoyo-like gacha game! even i don't know hm i would whale for that mf if that happens. would highly likely e6s5/c6r5, then i rlly will be having some delicious ice soup this december. i'll then have the text "one copy of hib/ari ky/oya, for each dying will of the sky flame type" in my game profile. why am i even imagining this so vividly.
when the k/hr mobage was still running, i actually got both of his present & tyl units thru f2p grind lmao (un?)fortunately only started to play at the late stages of its lifespan, so i didn't get too addicted to it, but it's for the better.
#eingaming#eintxt#dawg I did not only get anti-ra/bies shot yesterday but also anti-te/tanus ugghhhghh my arms hurt sm but it's a bit better now#I'm also going thru it rn in other aspects of irl so I've just been on autopilot#for both work games & webcomic#will try to catch up to dms/notifs soon#getting Sunday gave me a good amt of serotonin boost#still in shambles mentally & physically but we ball#(in fairness I didn't have to file for sick leave after these two shots bc every time I got the co/vid 19 vaccine I'm just deadass wrecked)#also have brainrot for another game but that's for another post 🥴🥴🥴✨💖💖#prepping for work now! 🫡🫡🫡
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so guess who forgot about art
#i forgot that halloween is here so heh#im posting my big beautiful boy from a month or two ago#i need him to Physically hurt me#phighting#banhammer phighting#roblox#mart
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the official twitter being this out of pocket in june of all months is making me laugh
#i love it. genius marketing unfortunately#i'm just a gay man. show me two men getting handsy and i'm seated in the theatre#also: this is the definition of queerbaiting. not real people being affectionate or fictional characters being headcanon'd lol#not complaining! would happily be queerbaited into watching austin smoke cigarettes and ride motorbikes if i wasn't already gonna watch! <3#just pointing it out bc the amount of terrible takes i see on queerbaiting every day physically hurts#queerbaiting is purposefully marketing smth not queer in a queer way to get queer audiences to watch#it is not something real people do and it's not smth fanfiction does xoxo#johnslittlespoon yaps
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reading tsc . im not having a good time .
#JEREMY KNOX UR FINALLY HOME#also . ouch . everything hurts??#kevin and jean physically pains me like??#i missed them but goddamn#im not even half way through it?? and STILL#i need to stop and take deep breath every two pages#gagged me soo bad#the sunshine court#all for the game#aftg
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just going about my day idly contemplating how some of the ways hawke can interact with a romanced anders are not at all unlike how they interact with leandra (and a bit of carver too, especially with a purple hawke), and then thought about my hawke in the timeline where he romances anders and was hit straight in the face with 'was he ever actually in love, or was he just desperately trying to renegotiate with his mother's ghost in any way he could' and now i need to lie down. this is the power of dragon age 2
#'you don't know my mother' haunting me through the years#dragon age#dragon age 2#hawke#On second thought let's not go to Kirkwall; it is a silly place#there are of course as many ways to do/read that relationship as there are players to interact with it haha and all valid!#but my personal version of handers is sooo fucked up and bad times for everyone involved and I love it haha.#this is a relationship neither of them should have been in and that made everything worse and everyone unhappy in the end#locked tomb levels of the horrors of love. i ship it but in the way that I want to make it sadder and more gutwrenching each time#to be clear this is a very mutual two-way kind of fucked up but I think varric in his loyalty and love would downplay hawke's side of it#for huge swathes of their relationship anders is not in a mental place to be a good partner and the emotional blackmail is Not Okay#(but it's just like how mother used to make it! hawke's soul cries sadly as it reaches for it hungrily)#which is in some ways fair enough no one could accuse him of not warning you ahead of time fjskda#but hawke is messy about it in a way only available to a covert people pleaser who has never had a millisecond of therapy#with some added stuff that my hawke is always acespec in some form and when he gets together with anders...#is the sex something he doesn't particularly care to have or not have but it 'makes anders happy'/he longs to feel wanted *and* needed#and also a way he gets out of ever being *actually* vulnerable (which I think he'd had to be with varric for example if he Went There )#'you want the hawke who's in your head so badly and I kind of wish I were that hawke too. so let's be collaborateurs with that fantasy'#(and then maybe if I do it right every time you'll finally be happy hawke says in his heart looking at this leandra-anders phantom form)#(and echoing stuff in varric's relationship to hawke but I think the important distinction there is that varric -- is a craftsman haha#he KNOWS when he's lying/making up a story he KNOWS the difference between what is and what he wishes the world was#(I think there's some deep longing there to not know; for it to blend together or have the power to change things. but he always knows)#which ironically leaves him in a better position to actually see and understand hawke the person#even as he is creating hawke the literary figure. almost to protect him in some ways? god da2 is so full of STUFF!!! I adore it)#and of course anders gets so disillusioned with hawke's inertia and lack of action (you all but married this man anders!#you should know this about him he's already carrying the whole family and city on his shoulders if you add a gram more he'll collapse!)#and hawke feels so desperately hurt that the promise anders seemed to make that he'd be enough -- that he could fix things for him --#('I'm the one bright light in kirkwall and that apparently doesn't count for shit so I'm just slowly turning to ash for you')#turned out to be untrue. anyway. sad now. imagine them meeting like twenty years on what the fuck could you even say to each other then#(I can't imagine Hawke ever physically hurting anyone he loves so he just tells Anders to leave at the end of DA2. they COULD meet again
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Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!!!
#meronia#mello#near#mello x near#doodles#Christmas meronia#this took me an embarrassingly long time and I'm criminally late but ngl I'm kinda happy with it!!#honestly though I love these two so much it physically hurts#Mello lives AU#Mello and Near work together as L AU#tinyowl doodles
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