#these sandwich bits are getting long and i have to remind myself i'm not supposed to be writing a novel here lmao

[shadowonwater]

Pokemon Scarlet, part the 4th. I fought a giant crab and then beat an avant-garde artist.

Whenever I start these it always feels like there's so much to cover. Well I guess one of the first things of note that happened to me since my last post was that Yarn Ball evolved. It turned into a spool spider. Well I don't think it's as cute anymore and it's clear it's not evolving again so I made my first teammate switch in a while. I replaced it with Tinkerton (the small pink thing with the mallet).

I had fun exploring the maze that is that rocky area. At one point I ran into a level 25 Hariyama, which was pretty high for the area, at first I was intimidated, but then I was like, nah, my Flamingo can take this guy. And it totally could have too! But the coward used Whirlwind and disappeared! I was like "Come back here and fight me like a Poke-MAN"

When riding on Koraidon, I keep finding myself trying to click on the button in PLA that let me dash, only to be disappointing at my lack of dashing. I really wished I could Dash, this will come up later.

While I was in that maze I saw a tera raid. The silhouette reminded me of a Tailow. Now I don't know what Pokemon are in this game and what are not so I thought it might be a Tailow. But instead it was something new! It was called Wattel I think? So now I have a tera bug Wattel, named Watt. (really creative, I know).

So I get to the Pokecenter next to the town so I can heal up before seeing the first titan. And I see those Squakabilly birds, so I catch the which plumage one and blue plumage one. I didn't see anyother kinds around there so I assume the green ones are found else where, I think there are also orange ones too. I'm not sure how many colors there are.

I also saw red Oricolo, I went into a battle with one and tried to catch it before going to the center. A bit of a mistake because I was starting to run low on balls. It had just a sliver of health left, yet it kept breaking out of the ball. I eventually caught it with the very last ball I had left, a Nest ball. I ran out of everything else. Glad my effort still payed off I guess.

So I go back and follow the map to try to find the titan crab, and it doesn't take too long. Oh btw, I also caught one of the non titan crabs that were around. I spent a bit of time beating up random crabs in the area because Floragata had such a nice time advantage. I kept one-shotting them. Soon both Lechonk and Wooper evolved while I saw doing this. I didn't even do it for long, they just both close to evolving. So I had a Cludsire and a female uhhhh whatever the Pig's evolution was called, Oinkage?

So I walk up to the crab on the wall and it just kinda scuttles away from me, and I was a little bit confused because I thought it would fight me right away but I guess not? So I follow it up the hill and *then* I battle it. I tera my grass cat and Magic Leaf it, suddenly it's low health and the battle is already over.

The crab goes back down and the game is like "follow the crab!" so I try to directly follow it down the cliff but the game is like NO that's too steep! So jump on Koraidon and go down there anyway. I tried to land atop the crab, but I don't the game expected me to do that so I went right through, so I was under the crab. Then the cutscene plays and I am no longer under crab. Arven also shows up, guess he's just been hanging nearby?

We battle the crab again together, which is cool. I was worried I wouldn't be able to Tera my grass cat again because already just used it, but the game let me, so cool. And it only takes 2 attacks. Sorry Arven but you really weren't needed here.

He makes sandwiches. And I already knew that completing one of the different paths was supposed to give Koraidon more abilities. And I figured it was this one, what with the herbs healing abilities. So no surprise when Kori wanted my food, so I gave it to it. And just as expected BOOM! New ability, I was delighted realizing it was the Dash ability, because I really wanted to Dash! :D

Arven gave me the other half of the sandwich, very nice of him actually. He doesn't seem to be very found of Kori though. (btw I decided to call Koraidon, "Kori" for short if you haven't already picked up on that).

Anyway the weird part is that I leave and Arven is talking to something or other. I assume a Pokemon, but we don't see what it is. He seems to be trying to heal some Pokemon. Whatever it is, it must be something major because the game won't show me it.

Oh man this has been a lot of typing only to just now get to the end of the titan part, now to get to the gym leader! I pretty much went to the gym leader right afterwards, no dilly dallying.

But one random thing I meant to say but haven't yet- Washing! During the picnics I mean. Washing my Pokemon. Similar to a feature from the Alola games, where you clean up your Pokemon to heal them from damage and status conditions. So similar feature, similar function. Playing it reminds me of giving my nintendogs a bath, what with the suds and shower-head.

Anyway I was washing all my Pokemon up to heal them one time. And I wondered if I could also give Kori a bath despite not battling with it. And I can! This pleases me :3c Can I pet the dog? Yes I can!

Anyway the gym. Apparently the town has a real artistic population, and I can see that reflected in how beautiful the town is. I was told to find 10 Sunflora hidden around the town. Was a bit worried about my frame rate already cause I heard about the sun flora messing with it. Well it didn't really affect me.

Anyway I wonder if the sunflora locations are randomized or not, I already found 3 just a laying there immediately outside of their pen, not very good at hide and seek, are they? It wasn't much trouble finding the rest, one battled me but that was it (I wonder if something like that is also randomized too). I also climbed around on that playground, that was neat, even if there wasn't anything that cool on it, just being able to climb it was cool.

Anyway, I forgot to also mention this but I switched out my pig for my electric bird Watt, was kinda excited about the bird because I had no clue what it would look like when evolved. So I used Watt to take out the grass leaders first 2 Pokemon and used my Flamingo for the last one. It was pretty easy, I'll be honest. Had a bit of trouble with Petlil's sleep powder but a berry was all I need to wake up my bird again.

Anyway the plant guy is... interesting? Didn't really expect the personality he has with the look that he has. If he were a Pokemon, he looks like he would be a grass/dark based off of appearance. But maybe not. He's just some eccentric artist and a bit of a weirdo.

"Avant-garde"? Nah All I did was creme you with a type advantage. There wasn't really skill to that at all. Anyway he's an artist, but of what? fine art I assume. But is it paintings? sculptures? Also do you think he's be friends with Burg? After all they are both gym leaders and artists. I assume that someone out there has already made fanart of them hanging out.

Anyway I talked about the titan, I talked about the grass gym leader, so you think I'm done right? No, I got more to say! I walked around in the area around the town and caught the fighting Tauros. As well as Dunsparce, the koala (which really packed a punch), Tandem mouse (which reminds of Pokemon like eggsacute and falinks), and Flabebe. I'm forgetting anything else I caught.

Then I went towards the 1st Star base. I haven't started the raid yet but I will soon. Something I only just now noticed, 18 types, 8 gyms, 5 titans, and 5 star bases. I bet all of them are a different type right? that's cool, I like that!

I haven't been battling random trainers much, because the game no longer forces it, I have a hard time keeping track of who I fought and who I didn't. I keep passing up fighting trainers because I want to keep exploring.

Anyway I love my shit when "Clive" showed up. You ain't foolin' anybody Clavell! I guess when he overheard all the way back in the school he wanted to get involved with Starfall. I must say, from the trailers I didn't trust him, but he's really endeared himself to me now.

I wonder how he's going to help me with the raid, will he be healing me maybe? I guess I'll see.

[keefwho]

October 30 - 2023 Monday

3:06pm

Still thinking about what I want to do with myself to start changing something. I think constantly trying to express myself is a good first direction. Its just barely started helping me get a grip on who I am and made me feel a little free like I used to. First and foremost anything I feel is valid and my wants are appropriate, until I determine they aren't. I guess I'm trying to take a sort of "innocent until proven guilty" kind of approach with myself because I'm too used to shooting myself down right away. This is a sort of extreme opposite response.

Its hard to know when to act on something. I can't constantly keep trying to figure things out because it gets tiring and inefficient. Maybe it's every time I feel stressed/sorrowful which is unfortunately very often because I feel like my problems go deep. Maybe every time I feel like writing or talking about it means I can do something to address my current state. I know I want to do acting more than talking, I've fallen into the talking trap. I know I used Daisy to feel better under the guise that a "talk" will help but it usually doesn't. The occasional emotional support is healthy but I've caught myself wanting to talk basically all the time like she's my therapist. It's not fair to her and not effective for me so I will be cognizant of that moving forward. That being said, there are some things I think I do want to talk with her about as long as I can confirm to myself that it is actually needed and I'm not just overcommunicating. I intend to do this right because I care about whatever is going on between us. Dare I say it's one of my top 3 priorities.

I feel afraid to admit that sometimes because I'm reminded of a previous dynamic where the other party was so interested in me but I wasn't reciprocating in the way they wanted. In my case it made me distance from them even more because I got more and more uncomfortable. But I sorta led them on because I didn't want to let them down and at the same time I was convincing myself that I wanted to be there. But I didn't. So I have unfounded fears that I am that same position but I'm the one caring too much and pushing her away. It's the only experience I have which kinda sucks.

8:17pm

Another evening spent feeling a little forgotten. I don't have any reason to on the surface and I know that. But I feel like this a lot and that's okay. As long as I come to terms with it I can figure out how I want to proceed. I'm just so tired of every day being a fight. Its like nothing can be good. Even if things are, I assume they aren't going to last and catastrophe is just around the corner. I so rarely feel okay anymore.

10:46pm

I don't really wanna talk about my day right now but I'll at least summarize. I have lots of weird feelings right now and way too much on my mind.

Breakfast was a jimmy dean sandwich and rice. I had to go to the store to pick up some water and soda and my weekend drinks but they were out of water. Mom was supposed to pick some up for me when they got more in today but she must have forgot. I'll live as long as I get it tomorrow. Stream went well. I remember doing Inktober well and the commission. I ran out of things to work on though because I needed responses from people but I worked the rayman meme thing I had with Daisy's horse.

Afterwards I did my workout well, I was a monster on the treadmill. Also cleaned up just a bit before showering again. I took care of myself while I was at it which made me late to lunch. Lunch was some more homemade soup I've been making lately. Its a really good meal, especially after a workout. Since there was no way to stick to my usual schedule, I made sure to revise it and stick to the new times all day. I got the request done quickly and finished that rayman pic before moving onto a drawing of Zipp I had on my desktop. Afterwards I played some Cities, some dungeons, and watched Twitch kinda on and off. I took care of myself again because I was stressed out I guess and wanted a distraction. Daisy called at bedtime and we chatted just a little bit before she fell asleep.

I think I want to make this blog only about recounting what happened on a given day and I might make a new one for my deepest darkest feelings. If I do that it might be on a different website and totally anonymous. I should probably just have a physical journal to write in or a notepad file or something but I do want them to be maybe potentially witnessed by strangers. I just want to be seen in a way. But since I'll be dumping some pretty heavy and specific stuff it's gotta stay extra secret.

[verdadurmaz]

From strangers, to friends, to lovers, to friends? It was a roundabout of labels, a story for the ages. She studied the woman's features and a smile pulled faintly on her mouth as a warmth flushed over her cheeks. She'd found a comfort, happiness, and safety in the woman now standing in what once had been nothing more than a whispered dream.

Verda tore her gaze away from Ale long enough to do a once over of the bakery. Some days it felt like boss energy, other days felt as if it were all slipping from her grasp. "If I think about it too much, I'll probably get emotional." It was the combination of the journey she'd ridden out to get there and the reminder of the conversations the both of them had shared years earlier.

A quiet laugh echoed off the whistle that fell from Ale's lips, the woman's wink causing the baker's smile to double in size. Her ex's honesty wasn't surprising, but a twist of concern knotted in her chest. "A bit of a mess?" A brow lifted, her curiosity piqued.

Teeth raked over her bottom lip as she called back to the times she had sought out a sense of drunken comfort. Could things have ended differently if she had been around the whole time? "I get it though. I found myself in a similar place before this whole marriage thing," she admitted with a shallow breath into her lungs.

Married women weren't supposed to think back on their past, but some parts of it weren't so easily forgotten. Especially the parts that had healed her from the inside out. California had been her best attempt at distance, but what she'd found there in Alejandra had been more than she could've ever asked for.

"Harlan Coben has been the go-to lately, but I've also been reading books on business. It's been on my mind for awhile, but I'm thinking about going back to college for my business degree. I figured if I'm going to run this place, I should know how to do it properly," she mused, passion flowing through her tone as her gaze held steady on the woman she couldn't take her eyes off of.

She blamed the familiarity, but a part of her feared that if she looked away, even for a second, the other would disappear.

"Oh," she started, a vertical crease forming between her brows as she shuffled through her memory. How could she think of a single thing she'd saw when excitement beamed at her from pretty brown eyes? "One time, I watched a guy walk straight into that glass door." Against every instinct, she panned away from the other long enough to point towards the building across the street. "And another time, I watched a bird bully a sandwich away from a woman."

Both stories seemed lackluster by some of the fun she recall them sharing, but she looked onwards for some sign of approval or amusement from the other.

The compliment wasn't lost on her, but the clarification of pride nearly knocked her off her feet. "I'm happy you're here to see it." It made everything feel that much more full circle than it already had. Verda reached out, her fingers curling softly around the woman's wrist where she offered a gentle squeeze. Her skin was warm to the touch and as comforting as it had always been, but after a few short seconds, she dropped her hold and cleared the thickness from her throat.

Her own gaze lit up as she nodded. "Hope you're hungry, because I can't show you around and not offer you samples. Plus, I think I remember what your favorites were and I just so happen to have plenty." Was it because she'd worked on a fresh batch a little bit earlier? Maybe.

Verda's hand brushed against the dip of the woman's back as she stepped towards the double swinging doors that led towards the back. It was brief, but her heat had settled in her fingertips before spreading to every inch of her.

In a matter of a couple steps and one left turn, they'd reached the very kitchen that had become somewhat of a second home to her. "And here we are. When I picked this place, it already had a lot of equipment, but I had to replace a few things and add some of my own." Once more, she store her gaze away from Ale long enough to sweep over the room before dark hues fell back on the woman.

"So, are you hungry or what?" For a moment, she wavered on mentioning Ayla. Did the other know she was around? Was it any of the baker's business? In the end, their policy had always been honesty. "Ayla's in town," she added, that same vertical crease returning, this time forged by concern rather than confusion. "I just thought you should know if you didn't already."

@alesolcno

At the mention of the truck the photographer's brow rose and a slow smile spread across her lips. Quite a lot of pride caused her chest to swell. In the intimacy of their once relationship hopes and dreams were spilled from freshly kissed lips, wine stained or morning breath— they'd told each other things that mattered.

"I wouldn't call two years late..." As difficult as it was to take her eyes off her ex, a woman that had breathed new life into her in the aftermath of Ayla, her gaze did pan around the space. "That's actually boss level success," the brunette tacked on.

A low whistle slipped through her lips, then she winked at Verda.

"I better not with the rum. I've been a real mess lately, lonely and frayed at every edge, and it'd be too easy for me to try and find drunken comfort in you." She'd watched the woman get married, after all. There was respect for the fact that it wouldn't be right to breach that, no matter how badly the photographer may have wanted to.

Even for old time's sake.

The bite to her bottom lip prompted Ale to look away, the flutter in his chest was something she knew wasn't good for her. Instead, she focused on the space the baker had claimed was her favorite and walked over to the spot where Verda had explained she spent much of her free time and lowered herself to it. "What are you reading these days?"

Curiosity only piqued higher at the mention of interesting things. A smirk toyed at the corner of her mouth and Ale let her head tilt to the side as she regarded the stunning baker. "What kinds of things?" Brow quirked, the brunette wasn't entirely sure of what she was hoping to hear.

Then, that frightened part of her in the midst of overturning every little stone in the search for Mari, her big sister, had a heart racing moment that caused Ale to blink rapidly and look away. Why was she having fun and flirting when her sister was in danger? How was any of this helping?

Part of the photographer had hoped Verda would mention seeing Mari there, that she'd passed the window once or twice and had looked happy. Whatever had happened to her sister she prayed there were some good moments in there that she'd experienced.

Should she ask now or later if she could leave a few of her sister's MISSING PERSON flyers?

Ale got back to her feet and pushed a smile onto her troubled lips, adjusted the bag hanging from her shoulder and decided to push on for the time being. "Love it, this space is incredible. Look at you, the babe with the corner shop, so damn proud of you."

A few steps forward and the brunette was back at the counter, "okay, show me some more? Lets see where the magic happens." / @verdadurmaz

[elsecrytt]

not sure if anyone else has already asked but- lucifer/mc/satan? 👀

It's not a rarepair sandwich,,,,, BUT I LOVE IT SO LET'S GOOOOO

SO. The father and his rebellious son, huh? "I HATE you dad" and "Ah, yes, my six adult brothers, all thousands of years old, acting like actual children"

Separately, they're among the most reliable, calm, and intelligent members of the cast. Absolutely the person you go to for help with your problems.

They do individually have their eccentricities - Lucifer likes to make demands for his help, and enjoys teasing or playing with you, whereas Satan is very generous and friendly but can get quite absorbed in his interests (cats, books, new experiences).

But outside of that, you can pretty much count on either of them for anything. Dependable loves <3

Probably the real meat of the relationship here though is in the dynamics between them.

Independently, they're both excellent partners, not necessarily much to comment on that. It's when they spend time with you together, or have other occasion of "sharing" that things get... neat.

Satan and Lucifer are actually both very confident partners who wouldn't normally worry about your affection for them. And Lucifer doesn't, but Satan definitely feels some inferiority towards Lucifer.

I don't think Lucifer is wholly unaware of this, either. He's pretty conscious of Satan's... issues, and at points he even seems to blame himself for them.

Their relationship can be very up and down. Satan, at his best, expresses affection for Lucifer through pranks and can carry on a conversation about tasks or everyday activities with civility.

Satan at his worst sometimes just kinda wants to fight his dad to the death. As you do.

There WILL be some competition over your time, but they're both reasonably calculating over it.

Neither of them expect you to cancel plans, and Lucifer has too much self-respect to barge in on yours, but Satan will feel free to invite himself along through various socially acceptable means.

Lucifer isn't necessarily opposed to this, either. Satan's main focus is to steal Lucifer's time with you, not sabotage it.

Lucifer's reasonably fond of Satan, and while he doesn't like his time with you being stolen away, somewhere, deep down, he's happy to spend time with his son brother without an attempted murder.

And he also thinks it's a good way for Satan to "get out" his resentment, as well as assert some form of superiority/get a "win" against him, without causing any real harm.

Satan's not stupid, he will get suspicious, though he doesn't necessarily understand Lucifer well enough to realize Lucifer would give him a victory if he just asked for it.

And of course, the two will happily compete for your attention. Luci's not giving Satan anything for free, after all >.>

Definitely each one tries to offer you some of his dish, wants you to sit closer to him, brings up a topic of conversation for you all to chat about.

You're free to do as you please, although you can't favor one over the other consistently or the neglected one might back out of the relationship out of pride.

Specifically Satan will probably be particularly hurt if you favor Lucifer, who you can probably make it up to in private.

Lucifer is normally pretty invested in appearances, but when Satan competes with him for your attention, it's his pride on the line - Lucifer doesn't worry about being inferior to Satan, and he knows it.

The competition is somewhat unhealthy on Satan's part and he probably gets kinda unreasonably upset if he doesn't come out on top - which, sometimes, he will have to, bc Lucifer can't be the third wheel on every date you make with him that Satan intrudes on.

It can be a pretty uncomfortable situation, too, and Satan might take it out more on Lucifer than on you - he knows he was the intruder in that situation, and Lucifer is the one he dislikes.

Luci will take it like a champ tho. Ya gotta love 'im. It's not like it particularly bothers him, anyways.

And then ofc, there's intimacy - Lucifer tends to be very private about his intimacy with you... but Satan has a pretty intimate connection with Lucifer, considering they both acknowledge they were once one being.

They could totally double-team you. It could be really great, too, if they weren't both constantly focused on outdoing one another.

Expect lots of overstimulation. They snap at one another relatively often - they both race to make you cum first, and then they want to make you cum last; your pleasure is absolutely the focus of the encounter but that might not necessarily be a good thing.

They're also completely ruthless and efficient about it - they'll do whatever position or stimulation you like best, nonstop, while the other one experiments around to find something different to add to it that you'll enjoy.

Your private encounters with either of them are mutual acts of lovemaking, or safe, sane, consensual engagements in kinks. This is a competition, and you are their game and their prize.

Lucifer prefers to make use of his hands - you can tell he is quite practiced, his control and refinement, plus his long pianist fingertips, make him excellent at finding every spot, applying just the right pressure, rubbing or stroking exactly the way you like.

Satan's not afraid to use his mouth - Lucifer quite prefers to leave his tongue free for dirty talk - and he knows how to use his tongue better than Lucifer.

When you watch him on his knees beneath you, staring straight up at your face with electric green eyes, licking and swirling his tongue against your arousal until your mind is reduced to mush -

A hint of that black, neon-tipped tail swishing behind him reveals just why Satan is so good with his tongue.

Wet and smooth and writhing against you, he never fails to disappoint, and because he never lacks for lubrication he can get you off much faster than Lucifer can.

But Lucifer has two hands, ones that exert more strength than Satan's tongue ever will. And he always does know the right thing to whisper into your ears to make you shudder and buck into him - or Satan's mouth.

It's a tradeoff between pressure and texture, and it's not as if they always stick to the same thing.

Satan's particularly prone to pulling out his cock, pressing up against you however you prefer while he hisses his own retorts to Lucifer's dirty words - whether it's about being your pet, fucking you, or making you cum your entire brains out, he'll always find the hottest way to insist he'd do it better.

[p33paw]

broken contract

zhongli x f!reader

summary | breaking a promise to zhongli, and paying the price with spread legs (pwp, thigh riding, cockwarming, overstimulation, praise kink, sir kink, degrading kink)

warnings | nsfw

word count | ~10k

links | ao3

I would never get drunk in the middle of the day.

But— Beidou is only in town for the day, a short stop sandwiched between two several month long expeditions spent sailing the sea, too far away for contact. We settled to meet at the Third-Round Knockout. Her, me, a table of food, and all morning to talk before she visits the other people she cares about. We each got a single drink to toast with, then one became two, two became three, and... well...

I might be drunk in the middle of the day.

"Zhongli is going to kill me—" I groan, planting my head into my arms, leaning into the table.

I was supposed to meet with him today as well, as soon as Beidou's left. I can feel the heat on my flushed face where it connects with my skin. I'm drunk. He hates when I drink, enough that he told me to never drink before I see him.

Beidou grunts, and I hear the creak of her chair as she leans back in it.

"What's with you and that old man?" She asks, followed by the thud of her empty glass hitting the table. She calls for another round, and I groan again, tilting my head up to look at her.

"Wha'd'you mean?" I ask, pouting my lower lip out.

Beidou squints at me, then lifts her hands to gesture.

"Are you—" She holds her tongue with her teeth, a look of concentration knitting her brow. She forms her index finger and thumb on one hand into a circle, then pushes her other pointer finger out, jamming it into the circle she created. "—y'know."

As she continues to thrust her finger into the space created by her hand, the waiter approaches, dropping two new drinks in front of us. Beidou doesn't notice, but she's shot a dirty look.

I squint at her, knowing exactly what she's asking, but refusing to answer truthfully.

"No?" I sit all the way up, batting my eyelashes to antagonize her. "What are you talking about?" As I finish speaking, I lift my new drink, sipping it to keep my buzz if this is the conversation we're having.

Beidou blinks back, a delirious and gullible look in her eyes.

"Are you gonna go have sex with him?" She asks, point blank.

I choke on my drink, not expecting to hear the question. I have to take a moment to steady myself, eyes flicking up to Beidou as she crosses her arms and stares me down.

"I— I—" I blink, stumbling over my words, trying to collect my thoughts. I settle for a jab back, looking at Beidou with as much courage as I can muster. "Are you gonna go have sex with Ningguang?" I ask.

Beidou's brows tick in, a no less severe expression on her face. "Of course." She says, just as brash. "Now answer my question."

I falter, pursing my lips. Damn, I thought that would buy me more time.

"I'm—" I start, trying to look up and meet her eyes. I end up shying away from her severe stare, hiding in my drink. "Yes." I admit, no way around it. "We are... involved."

"Involved?" Asks Beidou, leaning in, "Like more than just having sex?"

I suck my lower lip in, hesitant to talk about it. This is something that happened recently, more than a month after Beidou last left Liyue Harbor. My hands instinctively come together, my fingers resting on a bracelet that was a gift from Zhongli. He called it the contract of what we have between us, the guarantee of the promises we've made each other, and the reminder than I belong to him. There's no official title, but...

"A lot more than just sex." I say.

Beidou 'oohs', leaning in even closer.

Before she can get another word out, the door to the tavern swings open with a slam. Beidou and I both crane our necks to look. Standing in the entryway, tall, elegant and beautiful, is lady Ningguang. Her eyes are locked to Beidou though, and intimidating enough that I find myself faltering.

She walks in, tailed by two guards.

"You're in trouble now—" I whisper back, trying to make myself look at small as possible.

Beidou shoots me a glare of her own, before pulling her face into a wide smile, staring at Ningguang as she approaches.

"Hey—y my beautiful flower, has anyone told you how lovely and gentle and beautiful and intelligent and—" Beidou starts, interrupted by Ningguang.

"I've been waiting for hours." Ningguang says, voice severe, barely flicking her eyes over to me. She gives me a curt nod of acknowledgment and I blink back in surprise.

Beidou squints at her. "I— told you I'd finish lunch at twelve." She says as looks over to me. "My friends are just as important to me—"

Ningguang immediately reaches to her side, pulling a pocket watch from a chain where it's fastened. She flips it open, pushing it forward, directly toward Beidou. Beidou leans in, lifting her brows as she reads the time, surprise clear in her expression.

"Now what does that say?" Ningguang asks, staring Beidou down.

Beidou swallows, eyes flicking up to stare at the other woman. "Two-oh-six." She says, lifting her drink, finishing it in a single swig, dropping the empty glass to the table, then slowly starting to stand.

Shit. I promised Zhongli I'd be done by noon, myself.

Beidou turns to me once standing, reaching a hand over to clasp my shoulder. "I'm glad to have seen you," She starts, "If my next adventure finds me dead—" She nervously glances toward Ningguang, "Know that you were my greatest friend." At that, she reaches into her pocket, pulling out and slamming down a satchel of mora that is certainly— more than enough to pay our tab. She turns, walking away from the table.

Ningguang smiles, small, watching Beidou approach her, before turning her gaze to me. "I'm sorry for interrupting—" She says, lifting her hands together, looking apologetic. "I'm sure you understand?"

I nod, giving her a reassuring smile of my own. "I had plenty of time with her." I say back, waving her off.

I lift to my feet to stand and leave as well, met with a head rush that makes me waver. I have to shoot my hands out to the table to steady myself, coming into the realization that I drank much more than I should have.

A hand darts forward, landing on my arm, holding me steady.

"Are you alright?" I hear Ningguang ask, much closer than before.

I nod, slowly blinking, trying to focus my eyes, batting her away.

"I'm fine— just a bit—" As I try to step away, I stumble, barely catching myself on another table. "—drunk." I sigh out, then look up to Beidou to glare. "I hate you." I bite out. I always try to drink as much as her, and, inevitably, end up far drunker.

Beidou gives me a toothy grin, shrugging. "Learn to hold your liquor." She says.

Still next to me, Ningguang turns to glare at Beidou, until the smile slips from her face. She looks to the side, sheepish.

"You're in no condition to get home alone." Ningguang says, lifting her hand and snapping her fingers together.

One of the two guards steps forward, at attention, walking up next to us.

"Assure that she arrives home safely." She says, voice stern, before turning back to meet my eyes again. "If you tell him where you live he'll get you home. Let me know if there are any problems." She says, then steps away before I can protest, back to Beidou's side.

Together, the two turn, walking for the exit. Beidou looks back, giving me another wave as she's ushered away, until the door swings shut behind them, and I'm alone with the guard.

"Where do you live, ma'am?" He asks.

I look up at him, feeling sheepish. I'm drunk, that doesn't mean a need a guard to walk me home.

"You can— leave me." I start. "I'm more than capable of getting home, I'm not sure why Lady Ningguang even—" I take the first step forward, lose my footing, and fall over face first, collapsing to the ground.

I groan, collecting myself and sitting up, blowing a stressed breath. Maybe it's good Beidou's only home a few days a year, she'd drink me into an early death otherwise.

The guard's hands land on me this time, helping me to stand. I let him, but once I'm up, the hands don't come off. Instead, I'm lifted up into his arms, until he's carrying me.

"Just tell me where to go." The guard starts, looking embarrassed for me. "Ma'am."

I huff a sigh with half a mind to struggle to get out of his hold— but— realize it isn't worth it. I would probably just fall on my ass if I attempted to walk anywhere, this is likely for the best.

Now, I have to consider my options. Fake sick and abandon my plans with Zhongli because I'm in no state to meet him, or—

Zhongli's address spills from my mouth, something selfish and needy rearing in my chest. I want to see him, I don't care how much trouble I'll be in once he sees my current state.

The guard nods, walking forward with me in his arms. It's foreign to exit a bar belligerently drunk and see it's still the middle of the day. The outside is busy with working people despite the clouds in the sky and the threat of rain looming above them.

I hide my face in my own shoulder, embarrassed as the guard strides forward, down the streets, deeper into the city, carrying me to where Zhongli lives. The closer we approach, the more nervous I get, mind racing at how he might react to the mistake I've made.

I really shouldn't be drunk.

My stomach twists as I spot Zhongli's home, and consider my current position. I'm already going to be in enough trouble as it is— I don't need him to see me in another man's arms. I lift my hand, tapping the shoulder of the guard, signaling to be let down. The guard listens, lowering me to my feet. I have to take a second to balance myself, but finally find my bearings, walking forward to close what feels like an immeasurable distance between me and Zhongli.

I approach his threshold, but before I can knock, the door opens. Zhongli stands in the entryway, his eyes flicking between me and the guard at my back, his expression set.

"Didn't we agree you'd arrive by noon?" He asks, finally staring at just me.

I nod, then stumble toward him. He receives me in his arms, holding me tight as I bury myself in his chest. His arms feel massive as they wrap me, cradling me like I'm something fragile. I drag in an inhale, breathing in the scent of clear spring and mountain air that seems ever present on him.

"Are you alright?" He asks, softer.

I tilt my head back to look at him, and see his face is knit with concern. I nod, staring up at him through my lashes.

"I'm— f-fine." I slur out, then watch as Zhongli's brow ticks in.

There's a drop in my stomach as it happens, knowing he's become aware of what's made me late. He looks away from me, up to the guard.

"Thank you." He says, voice firm, before guiding me into his house.

"I'm sorry—" I try to start, keeping pressed to his side, my fingers curled in the fabric of his shirt.

Zhongli closes the door, soft, careful, before turning to look at me again.

"You're drunk, aren't you?" He asks, disappointment clear in his voice.

I nod, moving my hands against his abdomen. I keep touching, grabbing, pawing at him.

"I'm sorry—" I repeat, lifting my hand to his chest. "Can I make it up to you? I—"

Zhongli catches me at the wrist, holding my hands still. He sighs, then walks away without another word. I stay in place, fidgeting with the bracelet on my wrist, restlessness and guilt twisting my stomach, as I wait, I hear water start to run.

He reappears, walking straight for me. He lands his hands on me in silence, lifting me into his arms. I curl my fingers into his shoulder, holding tight as he carries me to the bathroom. I look around, noting that the bath is running, filling with water.

I'm carefully lowered to my feet, then Zhongli steps back, creating distance, crossing his arms across his chest. He looks right at me.

"Do you need help undressing?" He asks.

I shake my head no, stumbling over my own feet as I grab the hem of my dress, lifting it up and off. It falls to the floor with a thump. Standing in my undergarments, I can feel Zhongli's eyes on me, burning me in the way they flick across my body, studying me. I embarrass, shoving my panties down and off as quickly as I can, shedding my bra even faster, then standing nude with my arms wrapped around my core.

"It's ready for you." Zhongli says next, the sound of water flowing cut short.

I look up to meet his eyes, finding them locked to my body, searching the expanse of it. I carefully step forward, until I'm directly in front of him.

"I'm sorry—" I repeat, feeling small, watching as his steady gaze locks back to my face.

"It's okay." He says. "We can talk about it later."

I nod, tight, still in my own head. I almost want him to be mad, to express the upset I see clear on his face so that the guilt in my stomach settles. Instead, his words and actions are measured with restraint.

I look away from him toward the bath. It's drawn high, shimmering with soap. I lift my leg, stepping in, until I'm standing in the water. Then, I lower myself in, sinking into the warm feeling that envelops my body.

I glance back over to Zhongli, watching as he walks to the door, sheds his jacket, and hangs it. From there, he turns, walking back toward the bath, removing his gloves, unpinning his cufflinks, slipping them both into his pocket. He carefully rolls his sleeves up his forearms, one at a time.

My heart jumps to my throat as he reveals his arms, thick with muscle and defined veins like his hands, a light ghosting of hair that covers the entire limb. He kneels next to the tub, lifting a bottle of soap. He pours the soap into his hands, then pushes those hands forward, landing them on my body.

"I'm sorry." I repeat, voice as small as I can make it, searching the hard line of his unwavering expression.

His eyes flick up to meet mine, piercing in the way they look at me. He slides his soaped hand against my skin, over my chest, up to my neck. He rests there, caressing with his thumb, keeping his eyes on me.

"You reek of alcohol." He says, voice low and gentle. "Didn't you promise to never drink before seeing me?"

I duck my head, heart jumping to my throat. I nod, tight. "Yes." I breathe out, blinking down to watch my hands curl around each other underneath the water. "I'm sorry." I repeat.

Zhongli says no more, but continues to move his hands. He drags them along me with purpose, washing every square inch of my body in silence, before he's up, grabbing a toothbrush from his counter. He kneels back down, holding the brush, staring at me.

"Can you open your mouth for me?" He coaxes.

I swallow around my tongue, but do, just parting my lips.

Zhongli's free hand comes up, cupping my face. His thumb forces between my lips, pressing to my bottom row of teeth. He opens my mouth, pulling his thumb back, only to dig his fingers into my cheeks, holding my face in place. He moves forward with the toothbrush, pushing it into my mouth, watching it go in, all while I search his face.

He starts to move, brushing the caps of my teeth, moving the brush in and out of my mouth, dragging it against my lips. I find my eyes fluttering shut, embarrassment overwhelming me.

All of this is because I couldn't control myself, and now, I have to be cared for. He finishes brushing my teeth, allows me to rinse, then pulls the plug from the bath. He stands up, finds a towel, dries his hands on it, and brings it to me.

"Will you be okay on your own for a moment?" He asks, waiting until I nod in confirmation to stand up and walk away.

Once he's gone, I lift my knees to my chest and wrap my arms around them. I wait in the bath while the water drains, consumed with upset. I just want him to kiss me the way he always does, hold me tight, and make me feel like nothing else in the world matters. Instead, I'm helpless as he picks up the pieces of me.

There's a small tremble in my core as I stand up. It's a sinking feeling that acknowledges my fault, a repeated reminder that I'm the one who fucked up and crossed the boundaries we set.

I reach for the towel that Zhongli used, dry off with it, then walk out of the bathroom. I go straight for his bedroom, finding pajamas already laid out for me on the bed. It's a top and bottom set, silken, too large, I lift the buttoned top, slipping it over my head without unbuttoning anything. The hem falls past the middle of my thigh, wearing more like a dress than anything else. I don't bother with the pants.

I poke my fingers from the oversized sleeves, curling them into the fabric at the collar of the shirt, lifting it to my face. I breathe in, finding it rich with the scent that lingers on Zhongli. I nearly buckle, eyes fluttering shut as I breathe it in, grounding myself in it.

When I open my eyes again, reality comes crashing back.

I walk out of the bedroom, eyes peeled for Zhongli. I find him in his kitchen, dropping a mixture of leaves into a pot of still water that sits on a low flame. His sleeves are still rolled up to his elbow, the muscles of his forearms flexing as he uses them.

I make a noise, watching him, wishing his hands were on me. He glances back.

"You should lay down until the tea is done." He says, quiet.

Though I know it's for the best, I refuse to listen. I shake my head no, walking toward him with uncertainty.

"I don't—" I start, taking a ragged breath. "Are you angry? I don't want you to be upset with me— please, I—" I falter as Zhongli pauses his movement. "Please." I repeat, begging, breathier than last time.

Pin prick tears collect at the corners of my eyes, desperation for reassurance fueling my courage.

Finally, Zhongli turns and approaches me, his expression strained. He lands one hand on my waist, sliding it up my side. His other cups my chin, gentler than I expect, running his thumb along my bottom lip to my cheek.

"Go lay down." He repeats, his face relaxing into something kinder, more familiar. "You'll feel better if you lay down."

I whine, wrapping my arms around him tighter, hesitant to let go now that I've got some of the attention I desperately wanted.

"Do you hate me now?" I ask, voice small.

Zhongli's brows lift, his hand traveling higher to thumb the tear from my eye. He moves in closer, holding eye contact with me.

"Of course not." He says, quiet, holding my face steady to lean in and press a chaste kiss to my lips. "I am upset." He says, his breath warm against my lips, tightening his hand on my waist to pull me closer. "But we can wait to address it when you're sober." He presses another kiss.

Though the words are severe, it's a relief. I press into his lips with all of my might, digging my fingers into his shoulders, steadying myself. He can still love me the same, despite my mistakes.

Zhongli pulls back from the kiss with a soft noise, quickly turning to attend to the pot. I finally relax, moving with him, keeping myself pressed against his broad back, my arms looping his waist.

"You're too kind to me." I mumble, muffled by his shirt.

Maybe it's the drive of the alcohol, or the way his hands felt when he ran them along my body as he washed me, or maybe even just his kindness, but I find myself craving intimacy. I carefully drag my hands down his abdomen, grazing my fingers against the fabric of his shirt, until I reach his belt. There, I move carefully, working my fingers to lift the clasp, my other hand dragging down across his lap as I hold my breath.

Zhongli goes still beneath my palms. I move slower, glacially, pressing against his belt. I don't make it far before his hand covers my own, stilling my movement.

"No." He says, voice low and soft. "Not while you're drunk."

I whine, pressing against his back. "But I want to—" I pout.

Zhongli turns to face me, an unfamiliar stern look on his face. "No." He repeats, just as he lands his hands on me and lifts me into his arms.

I'm helplessly carried to his bedroom, then, unceremoniously dumped onto his bed.

"Rest until the tea is done." Zhongli says, an order, before leaning in and pressing a parting kiss to my forehead. "I'll be back when it's ready." He says, then pulls back.

I puff my cheeks out, pouting, but refrain from protest. Zhongli turns, walking back out of the room, leaving me alone. I decide to settle, admitting that he's right, I should lay down. I wrap myself in a comforter, burying my face in his pillows, and let my eyes shut. I find myself relaxing, mind filled with memories of us in this bed together, and how safe I feel here, until I slip into sleep.

***

I open my eyes, disoriented, watching Zhongli's back retreat from the room. I blink slowly, sitting up, lifting my hands to rub my eyes. I must've fallen asleep, and, I glance out a window, noting the setting sun in the sky, it must've been for hours.

I take in my surroundings, noticing that to my side is a cup of tea on a plate, billowing a soft cloud of steam. I steady myself before reaching for it, then lift it to drink. It tastes floral, minty, bright against my desensitized tongue.

I blink again, trying to focus my eyes as I recollect the events of the day. I notice a slight ache in my head, and remember the fact that I was drunk.

Embarrassment heats my face, the automatic memory of Zhongli's disappointment in me springing to the forefront. I hide in the cup of tea, willing myself to forget.

It's a useless effort.

Though, as memories come back in, I come to a conclusion: I owe Zhongli my thanks, and maybe another apology.

I tilt the cup of tea back, finishing it despite its temperature, then set the empty cup down on it's plate. I lift from bed, stumbling out to the living area, searching for what I want. I find him lounging, a book open in his hands. He hardly glances up at me, brows raised.

"How do you feel?" He asks.

I ignore the question, striding right for him. I plant a hand on his shoulder, swing my leg over his lap, then crawl on top of him, forcing my way into his hold. His arms come back together behind my back, keeping his book steady.

"Better." I finally mumble, once I'm in his lap.

"Yeah?" He asks.

"I'm better." I mumble, pressing my face into his neck, taking care to breathe in a way he can feel. "Thanks to you."

Close like this, I find the same feeling from earlier, a desire for his hands on me, running along my body, the desire to be wanted. I tilt in closer, arching my spine to press our bodies flush. I land a hand on his chest, and slowly drag it down his abdomen.

"Is that so?" Zhongli asks back, voice low, breathy.

I nod into his neck. "You took care of me..." I continue, dragging my hand lower with my goal in mind, resting my fingertips against his belt. "Now I want to take care of you—" My hand ghosts lower, until I'm resting my palm flat against where his cock sits.

I only make it that far before Zhongli's hand covers mine, stopping my movement, pulling it back. I tilt my head back, looking at him with a confused pout. This is the second time he's stopped me. His face is calm, neutral other than the slight uptick in the corner of his lips, his lowered eyes flicking down my face in a controlled way.

"You can't have everything you want." He says, voice low enough my stomach tightens.

He drops my hand from his hold, lifting his own hand to brush my hair from my face. He grazes his fingers against my cheek, holding his eyes on me until I falter, tucking my chin down, embarrassment burning my skin.

He immediately catches my chin, tilting my face back up.

"What am I supposed to do with you?" He says, then sighs, pressing his thumb to my lower lip. "You disobeyed our contract, broke my trust and—" His eyes flick across my face, calculating. "—you need to be punished for it."

I swallow, retracting my hands to myself, curling them in the loose fabric of the shirt I'm wearing, unable to look at up at him. This isn't what I expected, but—

"I'm sorry." I mumble, tilting my hips to press against his lap, keeping my legs spread. "You can—"

"No." Zhongli says as his other hand drops to my hip, his fingers digging into the soft flesh to hold me in place. "What kind of discipline is that?" He asks. "Giving you exactly what you want—" He leans in toward me, until his lips hover next to mine. "Exactly what you're desperate for—" His hand slides up my side, to the bottom of my ribs. "—aren't you?"

I whine, nodding, breaking my thin restraint to roll my hips, pressing our bodies together as close as I can without him being inside of me.

"Please—" I breathe out, not above begging.

Zhongli's hands both drop to my hips, stilling my movement. He handles me with his firm grip, until I'm forced off of his lap. He moves my hips into place, sitting me down on his thigh. He holds me there, his expression relaxed as he stares me down.

"Why don't you show me? Show me how desperate you are." He says.

His leg lifts, pressing against everything bare between my legs, giving a moment of pressure. I nearly buckle, relief and arousal curling in my stomach as I finally feel him stimulate me. Then, he stops. I buck my hips, grinding myself against his thigh, chasing to find the same pressure again.

"That's it—" He coaxes out. "Just like that."

I warm under the praise, looking up at him through my lashes, continuing to move my hips, fucking myself against his clothed thigh. All I have the mind to do is roll my hips, my breaths coming out heavier, cut only by soft moans, the pressure between my legs from my movement enough to stimulate my clit.

"Such a pretty sight—" Zhongli continues, watching me. "—getting yourself off on my thigh." At that, his thigh lifts again, the pressure enough to pull another whine from my throat

His lips twitch to smile as he hears it, his thumbs hooking into the hem of my shirt. He pulls it up, just barely, not far enough to expose more than my thighs. He lifts his leg again, pressing until I gasp, clenching around his thigh with my own.

He relaxes his leg as I whimper, leaning in toward him. My hips buck, grinding at a more rapid pace, arousal burning low in my abdomen. I whine, lifting one hand to his bicep, curling my fingers around it, holding on to steady myself.

Zhongli tilts his chin back, watching me through half-lidded eyes.

"I bet you can cum just from my thigh, can't you?" He asks.

I nod, swallowing around my tongue, struggling to keep my eyes open as I roll against his thigh in a rhythm, fighting to stimulate my clit, everything between my legs dripping wet as it slides together.

"Pathetic little girl." Zhongli sighs out. "Undisciplined, so easy to make finish." He lifts a hand, sliding it up my thigh, until he's holding my waist with the shirt hitched up around his wrist.

He exposes me with the motion, his eyes turning down to watch me grind myself against his thigh with short desperate movements.

"I bet you feel good, don't you?" He asks, briefly flicking his eyes back up to my face. "Do you want something?"

I whimper, nodding, the movement of my hips losing rhythm, unevenly jerking against his thigh.

"Use your words." He says back.

"Please— please— let me cum— let me— let me cum—" I breathe out, eyes fluttering shut as I chase the pleasure.

"Not yet. Keep going." Zhongli says back. "I want to hear you keep begging... those little noises you let out when you're desperate."

I blink my eyes back open, searching his face as I nod. Though his expression remains calm, there's a flush collecting on his cheeks. And, when I look down, I see his cock is standing to attention, the fabric of his pants tight around the length. I whimper out another moan, twisting my hand in the fabric of his shirt on his bicep, changing the pace of my hips to move faster, the pleasure drawing me in.

Zhongli lets out a noise, holding my hip tighter to slow my movement. He leans in, pressing a kiss to my neck, the warmth of his mouth catching my heart in my throat as his lips continue, brushing along my jaw, until he reaches my ear.

"I can tell what you want." He says, voice low. "You always spread your legs for me, beg me to fuck you, like you deserve it." He moves in closer, nipping my earlobe. "Slow down." He demands.

I'm quick to listen, changing the movement of my hips to slow, intentional rolls, careful to stimulate everything between my legs with each movement. He lifts his leg between mine, pressuring until I whimper, arching my back to move with him.

"Such a pretty noise." Zhongli sighs out, relaxing his leg and leaning back again to watch me. "You can be such a good girl when you listen to me."

My eyes flutter shut, heat warming my chest as I bloom from the praise. I move my hips with intent, pleasure at the forefront of my mind.

"Please—" I beg again. "Let me cum, please sir—" The honorific slips off my tongue, followed by a breathless moan.

Zhongli responds with a pleased noise, his hands tensing on my hips.

"Go ahead." He finally assents. "Ruin yourself with nothing but my thigh. Let me see it."

Permission is all it takes, my entire body rocking as I roll against his thigh the final few times, crashing into an orgasm that grips my muscles tight enough I tremble.

I lift from his knee with a broken moan, tilting forward, arching my back as I succumb to my climax.

As I still tremble, coming down from the high, my breathes panted, Zhongli releases my hip, moving to press his hand between my legs. His other hand hooks into the fabric of my shirt, pulling it above my navel, displaying my body to him. His fingers slide against my pussy, eased by the collecting slick. They feel blunt, spreading me open, then—

I gasp as his fingers press to my clit. My still cum sensitive pussy flutters, gripping on air. My body is torn between pressing into it, or jerking away in over-sensitivity. My thighs twitch, abdomen held tight enough to hurt.

"Look at you." Zhongli sighs out, his eyes locked between my legs. "Such a mess just from riding my thigh— spread open like that's all you're good for." He moves his fingers, gently pressing his index and middle to circle my clit, playing with me despite the way I twitch in oversensitivity.

"You're beautiful like this." He breathes. "I can't imagine how beautiful you'll look when I'm inside of you." He says, then finally retracts his hands, landing them both on his belt as he carefully works to unbuckle and open it.

His fingers move quick, intentional, knowledgeable in the way he undoes the clasp. He doesn't go further than that, instead lifting his hand to catch my wrist, pulling it toward his lap. I whine, taking control back as my hand is guided, fumbling to push into his undergarments, wrapping my hand around his cock. He lifts his hips, helping me adjust further, until his cock is free, flushed red with blood, painfully hard, resting against his stomach, exposed.

My stomach tightens just looking at Zhongli's cock. I'm up before I realize I am, sinking to the ground on my knees, directly between his legs. He watches me with a relaxed smile, his eyes half lidded. I wrap my hand around the base of his cock, steadying it as he lifts a hand to cup my cheek, helping me guide in. I push my tongue out, making contact with the head of his cock first. I lap at the slit, the taste of his skin salty on my tongue.

Zhongli's stomach twitches, his cock pulsing in my hand as I finally stimulate him back. I lower my eyes, staring only at his cock, then lean all the way in, taking him into my mouth with a soft moan.

I hear a breathy noise from above me, quiet, and force myself to take his cock deeper, feeling it throb against my tongue.

"Perfect— such a perfect girl—" Zhongli praises, running his fingers through my hair, petting me before he grips again, holding tight. "You know just how to make me feel good— so pretty with my cock down your throat—" He moans again as my mouth tightens. I fight to relax my throat, desperate to take him deeper.

I rock my hips against nothing, like I'm still sat on Zhongli's thigh, moans high in my throat vibrating around his cock. I can feel the arousal between my legs, cascading down my thighs, creating even more of a mess as I move my mouth on his cock, sloppy, focused only on making him feel good as I move my head.

I'm doing well if the constant low moans from Zhongli mean anything.

"Just like that—" He continues to praise. "So good—"

I flutter my eyes shut, forcing myself to take him into my throat again, curling my tongue along the shaft of his cock to follow a vein. His cock throbs against my tongue, his abdomen twitching above me. It lasts for only a moment before a hand lands in my hair, holding tight, pulling me off.

I look at Zhongli with a pout, noticing he looks fucked out of his mind, slowly blinking back at me. I move forward, pushing my tongue out, leaning in open mouthed, desperate for the taste of cum down my throat.

I look up at Zhongli through my lashes, begging with my eyes.

He huffs, blinking down at me. "Not yet." He says. "You don't deserve it yet."

Before I can protest, he releases me, moving his hands back to relax on his thighs.

"Up." He demands.

I nod, swallowing around my nerves, lifting back to my feet on unsteady legs. Zhongli's eyes flick down to my thighs, the slick coating them, glinting in the lowlight. His hands move toward me again, landing on my hips, tugging me closer between his legs. Once he's satisfied with my position, he lifts his hands to unbutton the shirt I'm wearing.

He does each button slowly, intentionally, revealing a new line of skin down my chest, down my stomach, following it with his eyes, until he opens the shirt, putting my body fully on display. I fight to not shy away as he drags his eyes along me, his jaw tensing in restraint.

He doesn't hold for long.

Zhongli's arms wrap my waist, pulling me even closer as he leans in, landing his lips on my stomach. His breath is hot as he drags his mouth across my abdomen, pressing a kiss when he sees fit.

I lift my arms, curling them around his shoulders to cradle his head, one of my knees lifting to rest on his thigh. He keeps one arm wrapped around my waist, tight, holding me in place. He drops the other, pushing his hand back between my legs. This time, he has a goal in mind, his rough fingers sliding against the soft skin of my pussy just to wet them, before pushing them further back, until the pads of his fingers just rest at my entrance.

I pull in a sharp breath, my legs tensing in anticipation for him to finally be inside of me, even if it's just his fingers. His mouth moves again, up my ribs, to my chest, his breath hot against my breast, his tongue pushing out to lap at my nipple just as— ah.

I gasp, my body tensing as Zhongli's fingers finally push in, two sinking into me, stretching me out as he curls them up, petting my insides. He distracts me by rolling my nipple with his teeth, a pleased noise low in his throat as I react, arching toward his stimulation, melting into his control.

His fingers are slow, careful to not hurt me as he pumps them in and out of me. I flutter my pussy, gripping down, desperate to feel him deeper. I lift my hands, carding them into his hair to hold tight, still cradling his head as he moves his mouth of my breast up to my collar, scraping with his teeth.

I feel the pressure of another finger resting at my entrance and tense my thighs, already stretched tight. His lips move higher, pressing a kiss to the base of my neck as the only warning I get before the third finger pushes in, pulling a whimper from low in my throat.

Zhongli keeps his stimulation gentle, darting his tongue out to drag it up the tendon of my neck, sinking his fingers back into me, stretching me with the taper of his fingers' girth. I tug his hair tight, tight enough to pull him from my neck, forcing him to tilt his head back and look at me. His expression is dark, unsated, desire apparent. I take panted breaths, staring back down at him as I milk his fingers.

"Please—" I breathe out. "Please, sir."

It's all it takes, the corner of Zhongli's lips twitching to smile as he pulls his fingers out of me, dragging a wave of slick with them. I tilt my head down to watch as he leads that hand to his lap, wrapping it around his cock, pumping and wetting the length.

His hand on my waist drops down my hip, guiding me to turn my back to him. He holds tight, lifting and handling me until I'm spread on his lap, my knees planted to either side of his, his mouth pressed to my shoulder. He wraps my waist from behind, holding me in place to his chest.

His other hand stays on his cock, guiding to press the head of it to my pussy. He slides against me, dragging the tip through everything sensitive, before lining up with my entrance. He holds his cock steady, kissing along the length of my shoulder, to my neck, waiting with his lips pressed to my ear.

"Go ahead." He breathes out. "Take it."

I swallow, nodding, looking down my abdomen, staring at his cock where it connects with me. I lift my hands, curling them around the arm he's wrapped my waist with, digging in with my nails to hold tight as I shift my hips, sinking down on his cock. I feel his stomach tighten against my back, a jagged breath escaping his lips as I finally envelop him, lowering onto his cock until I'm resting in his lap, our bodies fully connected.

I only pause for a moment, small moans slipping from my mouth as I adjust to finally being stretched on his cock. I can't help but move, lifting my knees to bounce in his lap, fucking myself.

Zhongli's sucks in a breath once I move, sharp, tightening the hand he has on my waist to hold me in place.

"Not yet." He says, voice low, restrained. "You don't deserve it yet. Sit." He demands.

I whine, fluttering my pussy along the length of his cock, just barely shifting my hips to keep stimulated.

"Please—" I beg again, desperate to move.

"No." He says back, firm in his resolve. "I want to see how desperate you can get—" His free hand drops between my legs, sliding against my pussy to explore where I'm stretched on his cock.

"Keep begging." He sighs out, dragging his fingers to my clit, evenly pressuring.

"Please, I— ah—" I draw in a sharp breath as his mouth continues to move against my shoulder, tightening down on the skin, sucking to bruise.

I whine as he loosens his mouth, dragging his tongue along the mark to soothe it, then moves higher, sucking another.

"I—I—" I swallow around my noises, hips fighting to move as Zhongli keeps me held in place. "I want you to feel good— please—" I manage to gasp out. "Let me— let me make you feel good—"

Zhongli makes a noise, low, that rumbles his chest where it's pressed to my back. He moves his arm from my waist up, dragging his fingers into my soft skin that gives under his touch, up to my neck. He circles my neck with his hand, his palm flat to my throat. His chin hooks over my shoulder, tilting down so he can watch the muscles of my abdomen tense, his fingers still playing between my legs. The hand on my throat tightens, holding me still, until there's a fuzz in my brain, intoxicating in the way he's controlling me.

"I do feel good." He breathes out. "—watching you like this— trembling little thing—" He squeezes the sides of my throat tight, speeding his fingers to a stutter against my clit.

I whimper, entire body pulling tight enough to shake, being forced toward another orgasm quicker than I can handle.

"You can't even control yourself— all those noises— you're so reactive." He tapers off, voice low.

He slows his fingers to more intentional strokes, dragging my orgasm out of me. I shout, eyes rolling back as the feeling overtakes. I dig into his arms with my nails, shaking through it as I cum in waves. It pulses through my abdomen, making me tighten on his cock. He goes until it's too much, continuing to pet my clit even as my hips jerk, whines constant in my throat, body arching away from the stimulation in oversensitivity.

"Please— sir—" I beg again, whining as tears collect in my eyes.

"You should see yourself—" He continues speaking, unfazed despite the way his fingers finally move from my clit, dragging up to rest his palm flat to my twitching abdomen.

I swallow, fighting to open my eyes, head rolling back, thoughts fuzzy.

"I want—" I start, mumbling. "I want to make you feel good— please fuck me—" I beg.

Zhongli huffs a laugh against my back. "So," he starts, soft, "You want—" His hips adjust, his arm steadying me as he finally snaps his hips up, fucking into me once.

It pulls a guttural moan from my throat, my mentality lost as I melt in his hands.

"—this?" He asks, rocking his hips against my ass before pulling back and snapping them again.

I whimper, managing to nod despite the way my head rolls back.

"Yeah— yes—" I mewl out, completely pliant in his hands.

Zhongli hums in consideration, tightening his grip on my hips to hold me still, then finally fucks himself into me, rolling his hips in a rhythm. The room fills with the sound of our skin connecting, my wanton moans a constant that he meets with heavy breaths of his own, unwavering as he fucks himself up into my lax body.

His endurance might be the death of me, his thrusts never stopping as I bounce in his lap from the force he's using to fuck into me, nearly just along for the ride, holding on tight.

I try to last, but don't make it long before the threat of an orgasm builds again, low in my abdomen.

"I'm—" I whimper out, thighs tensing where they bracket him, before crashing into another orgasm.

It rips through my body, hard enough to hurt, every muscle feeling exhausted, weak. Zhongli's hips never slow. Instead, he fucks into me harder, even as I feel myself cry out, face wet from tears and saliva, digging my nails into his arm deep enough to draw blood.

"Please— please— Zhongli—" I whine, tapping his arm, begging for a moment of mercy.

"Pathetic." Zhongli sighs out from behind me, though, he slows his hips to a stop, holding my stomach as I fight to catch my breath.

I try to relax, fluttering around the length of his cock buried inside of me. I realize, sitting down, his lap is soaked. I must have—

"What a messy thing." Zhongli observes first, rocking his hips against me.

"I'm sorry." I whimper out, flexing my numb fingers, trying to get a handle on myself. "I keep— I— it hurts— it's— I'm sorry."

"We can stop." He says, voice finally soft. "If that's what you want."

I'm quick to shake my head, refusing to finish until he's cum, until I've pleased him. I lift my own hips, fighting the ache in my thighs to ride, rolling back into his lap.

Zhongli hums, pleased, pressing his lips to my shoulder. "Good girl." He breathes out. "That's why you're mine."

I nod, moans high, whined, fighting my own body to ride his cock. I move in rough, jerky motions, lifting as far out of his lap as I can manage, sure to drag the full length of his cock out until the head catches my entrance, then sink back down.

I'm encouraged by the noises that start to slip from Zhongli, low, exhaled moans that come in tandem with each bounce. I steady myself, arching my back to ride with as much fervor as I can muster, colliding with his lap as I bounce.

Zhongli's hands begin to tense, his moans more frequent, his stomach tight against my back. It's almost a relief when his hips snap up, colliding into my movement, his cock jerking to flood warmth low in my belly as he exhales a shuddered moan against my shoulder, throbbing inside of me.

Shaking, I lift to my knees, only for Zhongli to pull me right back into place.

"I'm not done with you." He says, voice steady. "You're staying right here. I'll use you again when I feel like it."

I whimper, nodding. I can feel myself throbbing, milking his cock that remains buried inside of me, the mess between us growing.

Zhongli settles back, one arm still looping my waist, the other reaching to his side, lifting the book he was reading earlier.

It's humiliating, crumbling back to lean into his chest, eyes barely staying open, watching as he occupies himself by reading, all while his softening cock is buried inside of me, twitching every time I clench. Though, the break is needed, pain from oversensitivity fading.

He doesn't let me rest much, occasionally pausing only to fuck up into me, his cock growing increasingly hard as the time ticks on, until he's fully erect, rocking against me again. Though, he doesn't seem to react to it, instead continuing to read even as he tilts his hips hard enough noises slip from my throat.

Zhongli holds, unmoving, unwavering, keeping me split open on his cock until I'm throbbing, arousal low in my abdomen demanding I be fucked again. I squirm in his lap, clenching down, desperate for him to react, hold my hips, take what's his.

Instead, he reads his book like he doesn't feel it, feel me pulsing around his cock buried inside of me, cum and slick dripping from my thighs, my stomach warm where he's filled me.

Every movement becomes torture, every breath forcing his cock to move inside of me, teasing in the way it drags along everything sensitive. He continues to let his hips twitch, fucking his cock up into me with no real intent other than to make me whimper.

I only make it so long before I break, tilting my own hips, carefully lifting my knees to bounce in his lap in short, careful motions.

Zhongli notices.

"Did I give you permission?" He asks, voice low, freezing me in place.

I whine, shaking my head.

"N-no—" I mumble out.

Zhongli sighs, lifting his hands, slowly, carefully marking his page and setting the book down. His arm wraps my legs under my knees, lifting and holding them to my chest. His other wraps my waist, holding me in place, then, he stands, still inside of me, carrying me to his bedroom.

He releases me onto his bed on my stomach, keeping his cock locked inside. He presses a hand to the center of my upper back, holding me in place, then finally shifts his hips, pulling his cock out. I whine, clenching on air, feeling the cum-slick mixture pulse from my abused pussy, drooling out, across my clit and out onto the sheets.

Zhongli lets out a low noise at the sight, pressing his hand firmly against my back, before finally stepping away.

I whine once out of contact with him, shifting to flip to my back, look at him carefully slipping out of his clothes. He peels them off, layer by layer, until he's nude, then finally comes back to pay me attention. I lift my knees, keeping my thighs held together, watching as he watches me.

"You need to learn to obey me—" He sighs as he approaches, landing his hands on my thighs, pulling them apart. "You can't get out of trouble just by spreading your legs open and being my whore, no matter how much favor it wins you."

He digs into the soft flesh with his fingers, glancing down between my legs as he slots his cock against my pussy, sliding against it. His fingers hook into the shirt I still have on, roughly jerking the fabric to tear it off my body, until we're both nude.

Zhongli's hips roll, dragging his cock along everything sensitive while he stares at me, a mess in his sheets, twisting my hands and panting, begging for more.

"No one wants a disobedient girl—" He sighs out, shifting his hands up to my hips and holding on tight. He tugs, dragging me down the sheets until my ass hangs over the edge of his bed. He stands between my thighs, leaning in toward me, holding my spread legs upright.

"I'm— sorry—" I choke out again. "I'm sorry, sir."

Zhongli inhales, slow, restrained, staring down at my face. He shifts his hips back, until just the tip of his cock is pressed to me. He moves his hand until he can wrap the base, guiding it lower between my legs until the head rests just at my entrance.

"Beg." He says, low.

I whimper, nodding, a repeated 'please' spilling from my mouth like breath. I rock my hips, feeling the head of his cock catch as it slides against my pussy, desperation taking over the way I lift my hips, until I'm begging with my body, too.

Zhongli slips into a pleased smile, watching me break beneath him, until his hands tighten on my body again, holding me in place.

"You're such a good girl when you listen." He praises, then finally shifts in, pushing his cock inside of me.

I gasp as I feel him enter, eyes rolling back, scrambling to wrap his hips with my legs. My hands lift to my chest, curling there.

I brace as Zhongli drags his cock out, just in time for him to snap his hips forward, fucking into me hard enough I drag up the sheets. There's no mercy in his pace, the snap of his hips rough, colliding into me as he grips my thighs, trying to hold me in place.

I moan with each thrust, pulsing in tandem with the drag of his cock inside of me. I know I look like a mess, but I'm not present enough to care, instead focused on panting through my breaths as he fucks himself into me, the sound of our skin connecting filling the room.

The drag of his cock is perfect, stimulating everything inside of me, keeping me stretched open. I keep moaning, desperate, held tilted back, barely present enough to watch Zhongli fuck himself into me through my lashes.

I have to tilt my chin back, guttural moans carving my throat, entire body pulling tight as Zhongli fucks me like it's nothing. An ache starts in my core, forcing me to grip harder on his cock. It's a familiar tension in my muscles, dragging me closer to an orgasm, his cock pounding against every sensitive spot.

"I'm— I can't—" I sigh out, turning my face into my shoulder through my whimpered moans.

"Already?" Zhongli asks, never slowing the roll of his hips. "Pathetic mewling thing—" He moans himself, guiding his hand to wrap my throat, loosely holding it, digging his other hand into my thigh.

I whimper through my moan, too embarrassed to look at him, the roll of an orgasm building low in my stomach, close enough to hurt.

"I'm—" I manage to whimper out, before cascading into an orgasm, pussy fluttering around the length of Zhongli's cock.

"So quick." He chastises, seemingly unaffected.

I can feel my body trembling with the effort, it takes to be fucked, constant mewled moans spilling from my throat. I feel messy, used, my hands curling against my chest as he continues to fuck into me. The drag of his cock overstimulates, my cum sensitive pussy making me desperate enough that my thighs fight to close, preserve what's between them.

Zhongli refuses it, dropping both hands to hold my thighs tight, keeping me spread.

"No." He chastises, breathless. "You'll take it until I'm done."

I mewl out, desperate, darting both of my hands down to hold his forearms, digging in with my nails, jerking my hips as his movement never stops.

"Please—" I beg, not even sure what I'm asking for at this point, shaking with the effort, head rolling back on my shoulders. "I'm sorry, sir— please— please— it hurts— I'm sorry—"

I look up to Zhongli, pleading with my eyes. It takes a moment, but his expression finally softens, his thrusts slowing until he's resting with his hips flush to my ass, I continue to tremble, clenching around his paused cock. I jump as his hand connects to my chest, his rough skin tenderly dragging down my ribs and abdomen.

He goes to my own hands, prying them from his arms, lifting them until they're above my head. He slots his hand against mine, threading our fingers together, squeezing tight. The motion grounds me, preparing me for when hips rock, gently stimulating me with his cock again.

"You can do it." Zhongli sighs out, rocking himself into me, carefully moving his hips. "Just keep taking my cock like my good girl." He squeezes my hand with his as he talks, tilting his hips back to drag the full length of his cock out of me before fucking it back in.

"You're perfect—" He praises, even as my eyes roll back, "Such a— such a good girl."

I warm under the praise, blinking up at Zhongli as I come back to my body, stretched open on his cock.

"I'm—" I mumble out, disoriented.

He holds me tighter, leaning in to catch my lips. He exhales against them before we meet, kissing me with an even pressure. I arch into it, heart thumping as I warm from the affection.

Zhongli pulls back, hovering his lips next to mine as he speaks.

"You can do it—" He breathes out. "That's my girl."

I tilt my head back, eyes fluttering shut as I relax against the mattress. The drag of his cock in and out of me continues, gentler than before. He rolls his hips against me, breathy moans of his own escaping, a relaxed look on his face.

Zhongli squeezes my hand tight, a grounding motion, before his hips speed, chasing. I lift my shaking legs, wrapping his hips and holding on for the ride, my lax body dragging up the sheets, until, finally, his thrusts lose rhythm again, stuttered movement matching the moaned noises from low in his throat. I watch his face, until his expression breaks, the surrender of ecstasy taking over. There's a catch in his breath, noises low in his throat all warning whats to come.

I flutter around his pulsing cock as it finally jerks, flooding my stomach, his hand holding mine tight enough to hurt.

He watches my face as he cums, looking relaxed, before coming down, meeting my lips with his hips resting flush to my ass. I'm kissed hard enough my head tilts back into the sheets, trembling body otherwise pliant in his hands. He handles me up the bed, to the center, carefully to stay inside of me. I sigh as he relaxes, pressing me into the mattress with his weight, coming down from the high as our bodies continue to rock together, no real chase for pleasure in the movement, just a desire for closeness.

"I'm proud—" Zhongli starts, pressing another kiss to my lips. "—so proud to call you mine."

I muster just enough energy to smile, lifting my hands to thread them into his hair and hold him against my lips a moment longer, before I fully collapse, exhausted.

Looking up at Zhongli, wrapped in his arms, I watch his face soften. The severity of his expression eases, tension melting from him, until he finally seems relaxed.

"I'm sorry." I mumble again, quiet. "I'm sorry for breaking the contract."

Zhongli smiles, soft, bringing a hand up to cup my face, running his thumb along my cheek.

"I forgive you." He says. "It was a mistake."

His hand lifts from my face, grabbing one of my hands at the wrist. He places it above my head, curling his fingers around the bracelet he gave me to signal our bond.

"If you choose to do it again... I won't hesitate to remind you that you belong to me." He says, pressing a kiss to the corner of my lips.

I nod, eyes barely open, body sinking into the exhaustion that envelops it, finally feeling settled with the spoken forgiveness.

I would never get drunk in the middle of the day.

—but, if it means getting punished like this...

I might repeat the mistake.

[strawbearisamu]

for a day like this

timeskip! hanamaki takahiro x gn! reader

summary: a coincidence on a train ride home leads to a confession and kissing in the rain.

note: requested by anon :) here, semi long one guys

cw: light swearing, semi makeout scene

wc: 1.8k 

the sky shrouded by a dense fog, the blue of it completely concealed by a covering of wooly grey clouds. rain continuing to pour from the desolute atmosphere as you heard a disembodied female voice announce the departure of the train. you sighed, train starting to move as you look out your window only to see a strike of lightning, the muffled thundering of the storm only growing louder, reminding you of the impending consequences of today's events.

"miss..miss...excuse me miss?" shaken from your daze, you meet the face of a middle aged woman carrying an infant and a young child, "miss, would you mind switching seats with me? there just isn't enough space for my baby's breastfeeding equipment on the other side." she asked apologetically, "even though i specifically requested it," mumbling the last part under her breath.

you press your lips in to a small smile, grabbing your things as she thanked you in relief, your eyes light up at a familiar shade of strawberry brown, occupying the very seat next to the one you were supposed to replace, "makki?" you couldn’t help the grin as called out from behind.

he whipped his head towards you, eyes widened, mouth slightly agape as he eyed you a few times. as if making sure you weren't a fake, making sure the familiar resonance and tenor of your voice, the one he replays to himself some nights, making sure it wasn't just an auditory hallucination. "y/n."

eyes lighting up with excitement, you speed up towards him, engulfing his sitting form in a warm hug, arms wrapped around his neck as he breaths in your scent.

"missed me huh?" you don't miss the playful glint in his eyes as you finally let him go. "yeah," a beaming grin displacing the forlorn look on your face.

"what were you doing in the city?" you asked, squeezing past him into the window seat as he towered over to the side of the walkway to make room, you see his eyes glaze over for a split second before he says "just a reunion with the boys."

"how are they! you guys were always quite the gang."

"yeah," he paused, slight hesitation lingering in his voice, "they're good i mean, really good."

the thunder crackling, a shot of lightning briefly lighting the gloomy sky as the scenery beyond your cabin window blurred with the speeding train.

"you look awful," he says, words slipping out absentmindedly, his eyes widening in absolute horror as he spluttered an apology, rambling on, "not as in you're ugly but your clothes, your stuff, it just looks a little...disheveled."

you burst into laughter, the first time today, "my bag was stolen today, some guy on a motorbike snatched it and knocked me over, it was crazy! i tried chasing him too!" you recounted the story again, but for the first time today, in humour.

"pfft, sorry not the point, you tried chasing him?" his mouth curving into his signature lazy grin.

"what's your point strawberry head?" narrowing your eyes at him as he raised his hands, pleading innocence. "you okay though?"

"i'll survive, can't say the same for my job, had some really important work documents there, weren't supposed make copies, now they're gone."

"oh..."

"yeah, i'm so pissed but well the jury will be out after the weekend," you sighed, "but anyway should we be talking about how you look just as bad as me, makki?"

a boyish laugh resonates from him, it does something to you, the familiar scratchiness of it inscribed in your mind from long ago. the corner of his eyes crinkled, "shit i guess i do," he said. "mhmm," you hummed, nodded along in laughter.

"the reunion," he cleared his throat, "i mean first off, this is not even close to being as bad as your day," he precautioned.

"just get on with it," you rolled your eyes.

twisting and fiddling the ring on his pinky, "just saw everyone doing really well, what with oikawa and iwaizumi being on olympic teams, even mattsun has a steady career and plan you know? i think i'm second guessing myself? i thought i was living life, having fun, but sometimes everything feels like filler before death.”

you nodded along to him, listening intently. you had always known makki to be more of a free spirit so this was rare.

"we all have those days," you mumble under your breath.

you let a comfortable silence fall between you, rummaging your bag for the slightly squished convenience store sandwich and your earphones.

"it’s tough huh, trying to find our place now.” you said, handing him one side of your earphones.

“yeah, so much easier when you’re two dumbasses goofing around, playing with erasers and tic tac toe during class," he slotted in the bud, and you do the same, as the ambient music filled your ears.

“you and mattsun?" you probed.

“no you, you and me.” for second his playful facade falters. his eyes lingering on yours as you held each other captive, your stare burning through his enigmatic grey eyes, a raw emotional intensity that made it seem like time had slowed down, neither of you finding the courage to make a move in the moment of impenetrable tension.

"i guess the rain is quite fitting for a day like this." you finally dared to look away, taking in the storm weathering just beyond your window, "but somehow i feel a little better now makki. maybe it's your pink hair."

"you do love it," he said, "i feel a little better too," he whispered, and you barely catch it.

—

he took a deep breath in, releasing it in a heavy sigh. “miyagi air right? nothing like it.”

“can’t tell if you’re a free spirit or an old man now.” you stepped off the platform, bags in hand.

"let me walk you tonight. you don’t have an umbrella.”

“neither do you?” you pointed out, handing him one of your bags as the both of you walked towards the exit.

"don't worry, i've got a plan," he winked a cheeky smile playing on his lips.

—

the wind howls, your hair violently blowing into his face, "this was your genius plan makki? run a little faster will you!" you shout over the blaring pour of the rain, incredulous.

"easy for you to say, you're not the one hauling your heavy ass bag." one of your bags slung around his shoulder, arms stretched around the both of you as he holds his jacket up for cover. well, your cover, his exposed side completely drenched.

"we're close," you called out, awkwardly trudging across the puddle ridden road, his warmth emanating from beside you as your heart raced in your chest, though you couldn't decide if that was the rain or makki, more probably both you finally decided.

"we actually made it in one piece." you breathe a sigh of relief as you finally made it under the roof of your home, catching your breath a little as he twisted his rain soaked jacket.

"what are you waiting for? aren't you gonna open it?" he asked.

"okay what?"

"open the door?"

"i don't have the keys, they got stolen remember?" you said dubiously, now working the water out of your clothes as he gave you a baffled look.

"what? how are we gonna get in?

"well i assumed you had the keys?"

"how in the world would in have your keys?"

"in that confe-, letter i gave you? said you were here all the time you might as well have the key and gave you a key?"

"letter? what letter, y/n?"

"wait the letter...you didn't receive it?" the colour in your face drained, you took a sudden notice to his drenched figure.

"you're soaked dumbass." you say in an attempt to quickly move on, unzipping your bag to pull out a fresh t-shirt. he tries to stop you but you don't let him.

"shut up just let me do this makki." you pull on his forearm, tugging him down to meet your eye-level, his face inches from yours as you gently pat his face and neck dry.

"is this just an excuse to kiss me?" the same lazy smirk playing on his face again but his expression morphs into an unreadable one, eyes clouding, "the letter," he whispered looking down at you, his bangs skirting his lashes as you dabbed his cheek with a t-shirt.

"you wish you could kiss me," you joke.

"i do wish," he doesn't.

"was it a confession?" you didn't answer him, "can i kiss you makki?" the burning desire held off long enough as you somehow found the courage to ask.

makki broke into a smile, clumsily taking your hands in his, hurriedly dragging you back into the rain shower. hard rain hitting you, massaging your head, but even as you felt your senses become overwhelmed your attention was still singly engrossed by the man in front of you.

"what are you doing? i just patted you dry!" you reprimanded him, shouting over the pour of the rain, looking up at him, now 6'1, his soft gaze easily slipping past your faux stern one.

"it's more dramatic this way," he whispered, his hand gently caressing your face, thumb running circles on the now flushed apples of your cheek, his eyes becoming clearer to you as you finally begun to understand the liquid grey eyes that held you captive for so long. your heart speeding up again, butterflies fluttering aggressively in your stomach.

you tiptoed a little, eagerly reaching a hand into his now drenched strawberry pink hair that you were always so fixated on. he responded in kind, securing an arm around your waist, hoisting you up, you body colliding into his warmth, lower lip tingling a little as he traced it with his slightly calloused thumb. finally, he cups your jaw, taking your lips in his.

his lips warm, soft, impossibly plush against your own, the soft tickle of your hair on his cheek, your honeyed taste playing on his tongue, the shared warmth between you melding into one, your heartbeat synchronous, in perfect parallel with your harmonised movement. lips slightly parted, he bit your lower lip as you moaned a little.

"you think the neighbours can see us?" you pulled away, holding his cheeks in your hands, still in a slight daze.

"don't know, don't care."

"when did it become a drizzle?" you asked as he shrugged in response, desperate to capture your lips in his again.

and you guys stood there, in the light drizzle of the rain, soft rays of sunlight finally peaking through the glum clouds, making out for the audience of your entire neighbourhood, enjoying the petrichor of the rain. because yeah you were still locked out of your house, yeah you were probably getting fired and yeah he still didn't know shit about what he was gonna do, but everything seemed just a little bit better.

"i guess the rain was quite fitting for a day like this.”

sol's comments: can you tell i have no idea how to write a makeout scene? :")

m.list | each and every reblop is appreciated ☻ (+ free hugs)

[watchyourbluesturngolden]

the shrooms cafe

part 1- watermelon tea with strawberry boba

hello everyone 🥺 this is the first series i've ever done so i'm a little nervous but i'm so excited because I really like this story!!!

this is the first part, and I have literally no idea how long it will be because I don't have a solid plan/outline yet! so feel free to send little concepts or things you would like to see included 🥺 i can't guarantee they will be added but i'll definitely try my best :)

shrooms cafe masterlist

my masterlist

warnings: none

word count: 2k

"Stella, we have to leave in 10 minutes!" You called up the stairs. "Come down so you can eat breakfast!" "Yeah Stella, hurry up!" Seraphina yelled from her spot at the dining table. She was finishing up her fruit loops with a grin on her face. "You're going to make us late!" As the youngest, she often liked to bother her sisters. She was only five, just starting kindergarten, but she was already a master at getting under their skin.

"Sera, don't antagonize your sister, please," you reminded her. "She's not going to make us late." Sophie rolled her eyes. "Seraphina, you're so immature." Despite only being 11, Sophie was clearly the mother hen. You sometimes joked that the girls didn't even need you; Sophie would take on the role of their mother with no problem. "Besides, you were the one who made us late yesterday." "It's not my fault I couldn't find my purple socks. What was I supposed to do?" "Maybe wear different socks?" Sophie suggested smugly. "You know I need my purple socks, otherwise I can't write my words!" Sophie rolled her eyes again. "You don't need a certain color socks to write." "Yes I do!" You smiled to yourself, turning back to the fridge as the two bickered. You pulled out the ingredients you would need to make their lunches, then reached up on your tiptoes to get their lunch bags from the top of fridge. "Okay girls, what kind of sandwiches do you want today?" "Peanut butter and jelly!" Seraphina said excitedly. "Why did I even ask?" You smiled. "And Sophie?" "Turkey please, but I can make it myself," She said, sliding off her chair and bringing the breakfast dishes to the sink. "Thank you, love," you said, leaning over to kiss the top of her head. "You are such a big help in the mornings, I don't know what I would do without you." "You would have a real handful dealing with those two," She said matter-of-factly. "That I would," you laughed, handing her a butter knife. "Stella!" you called again. The 8 year old came running down the stairs, carrying her backpack and another bag. "Did you forget I have dance today?" "I did not forget," you reassured her. She liked to plan things, and got worried quickly if she wasn't kept in the loop. "I'll pick you up at the door by the playground, does that work?" "Actually, I was wondering if I could walk today? A bunch of my friends do, and I feel kind of weird having my mom drop me off." "That should be fine," You nodded. "But stay with the group, don't go off by yourself." "I won't," she groaned, rolling her eyes. "You're so overprotective." "Oh yes, I'm so sorry for trying to keep you safe," you laughed. "Now what do you want for lunch?" Once everything was ready, the four of you made your way out to the car. Stella climbed into the back, and Sophie helped Seraphina get buckled. Even though the three of them bickered a lot (as sisters often do) it wasn't hard to see how much they loved each other. "Everybody buckled?" You asked, looking behind you. When you heard a chorus of confirmation, you started your playlist and smiled when the opening notes of Adore You filtered through the speakers. It was easily one of your favorite songs, and the girls liked it just as much as you did. It wasn't a long drive to the cafe; it took about 15 minutes if traffic was good. The girls' school bus stopped about a block away, so they walked there together every morning. Then after school, they would come back to the shop and read books or finish homework until it was time to close up and go home. You parked in the lot behind the shop, helping the girls out of the car and making sure they had all their things. Seraphina held out her hand, and Stella grabbed it to help her jump over a puddle on the sidewalk. Sophie gasped excitedly. "I think that was the biggest jump you've ever done!" The girls promptly launched into a discussion about who could jump farther as you unlocked the door. As soon as it was open, they made their way over to the mushrooms to find some books for the day. Their voices filled the shop as they chatted about school and the cute boy Stella liked and the kitten they had seen outside their house the other day. You went about your morning duties, flipping on the lights and starting up the coffee machine. You also turned on the oven, preparing to bake the muffins. (They were frozen- who has the time to bake them fresh? Certainly not a mother of 3.) Once the kitchen was ready, you went over to the radio and tuned it to a familiar station, the soft

music adding some pleasant background noise. "Okay girls, it's time to get to the bus stop," you said, leaning over the counter to speak to them. "Don't forget, I'm walking to dance," Stella said, pointing at you as she walked to the door. "I won't forget," you said, pointing back at her. "Have a good day!" "Bye mom," Seraphina waved her small hand at you. "Bye honey, bye Sophia," You smiled, blowing a kiss to the three of them. "See you later!" Once the three of them were gone, you went around to the shelves and straightened up, getting ready for your first customers.

-----

After the lunch rush had dwindled down and the shop was nearly empty again, you were getting ready to go on your lunch break. You had just leaned down to grab a sandwich from the deli case when the bell above the door jingled, alerting you that a new customer had come in. You straightened up, your eyes going wide when you realized who it was, but you quickly fixed your face and smiled. "Welcome to the Shrooms Cafe!" "Hello," the man smiled back, speaking in a deep British accent. "I saw your sign for boba tea, and I've been looking everywhere to find some. You're the third shop I've been to today, so I'm really hoping you're not sold out like everywhere else," he grinned, coming closer to the counter. "No, we're not out! What kind did you want?" You asked. "Um... probably should have thought about that before I came in," he laughed nervously, looking at the menu above your head. "Oh, don't worry about it, we're not busy right now," you said reassuringly. “Take all the time you need.” He smiled gratefully, stepping off to the side while he read the menu. Meanwhile, you fidgeted with towels and wiped off the work surfaces and tried to pretend you weren’t staring at him. Who could blame you, really? Harry Styles had just walked into your coffee shop. Who wouldn’t stare? “I think…” he spoke again, breaking you out of your trance. “I’ll do the watermelon tea, with strawberry boba, please.” You nodded, laughing lightly. He quirked one eyebrow, smiling along with you. “What’s funny?” “Oh, no, it’s just… of course you would order the one with watermelon.” “Oh,” he smiled, and you thought you detected a hint of a blush on his cheeks. “I guess I do have a bit of a reputation with fruit, don’t I?” “Just a little,” you grinned. “One watermelon tea with strawberry boba, coming right up.” After ringing up the order, you quickly got to work. Instead of his real name, you wrote “watermelon man” on the sticker on the cup. Hopefully he would appreciate your little joke. “Here you are,” you smiled. “I hope it’s good, seeing as you worked so hard to find some.” “I’m sure it’ll be amazing,” he laughed, grabbing a straw from beside the cash register. You also noticed he had dropped a generous tip into the jar, probably while you had been busy making the drink. “Have a nice day,” you smiled. “You as well,” he said with a small wave before he made his way out the door, sipping his drink as he went. You sighed, shaking your head with a small grin as you grabbed the sandwich from earlier and went to a table for your lunch break.

-----

“Hi mom!” Sophie yelled, holding open the door for Seraphina. “Hi girls!” You called from the back corner of the shop. “I’m by the mushrooms!” The girls quickly found you, Seraphia hugging you and Sophie situating herself on one of the short stools. “How was your day?” You asked. “Good! I gave my report on monarch butterflies and guess what Mrs. Wilson said?” Sophie asked, leaning forward. “What did she say?” “She said it was the best report she had heard all day. She waited until the other kids left so they wouldn’t feel bad, but still,” she said proudly. “Oh wow! I’m so proud of you,” you said, moving over to hug her. “What did I tell you? You can do anything you put your mind to,” you smiled. “Including writing the best report in the whole class, hmm?” She nodded happily before turning away from you to pull a book off the shelf closest to her. “Which one are you starting now?” You asked, leaning over her shoulder to see the book she had. “Anne of Green Gables,” she said. “Oh, I loved those books when I was your age,” you smiled. “I think you’ll really like them.”

She nodded, already immersed in the book. You turned back to Seraphina, who was pulling her folder out of her backpack. “And how was your day, miss Seraphina?” “It was so good, look!” She handed you a paper with two gold stars at the top. “My teacher gave me two gold stars. She said my writing was very good!"

"All that practicing we did must have worked, then!" you said, beaming as you looked at her letters. They were still wobbly, but a huge improvement over how they had been at the beginning of the school year.

She nodded. "And then I colored this picture for you!” She handed you another page. This one had a drawing of you holding hands with her, Sophie, and Stella. The three of you had big smiles and lots of adorable little details. Stella had her hair in a bun and was wearing ballet shoes. Sophie was holding a book in her free hand. Seraphina had drawn herself wearing a shirt with a cat (her favorite animal) on it, and she was wearing her purple socks. Lastly, there was you, holding a cup of coffee and wearing a shirt with a big red heart on it. “Since you like coffee so much,” she explained. “It's beautiful,” you smiled, hugging her. “We’ll hang it on the fridge when we get home, okay?” “Okay,” she agreed. “Why don’t you find a book and read with Sophie for a little bit? We have just over an hour, then we have to go get Stella from dance.” She nodded, handing you the papers and her backpack before running over to the shelves. She grabbed a picture book, settling into the red cushion in the tree and beginning to flip through the pages.

----- “Alright girls, it’s time to pick up Stella,” you said as you wiped off the counter one last time. You had already turned off all the machines and packed up everything else for the day. You flipped the lights off on the way out, smiling a bit when you saw the hand painted sign for boba tea in the window. Harry came into your mind again, with his easy smile, his kind words, and his blushing laugh. You really hoped you would see him again, even though you knew you probably wouldn't. Your shop wasn't very big or well known. How likely was it for him to come to the same little shop in the middle of London again? Still, it didn’t hurt to hope. Maybe he would decide to try the other flavors and stop in again. Your smile spread even further when you started your playlist and Lights Up was the first song to come on. Apparently, it was going to be hard to forget about him.

[emeralddaydream]

𝙸𝚜𝚗'𝚝 𝚃𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚆𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝙻𝚒𝚏𝚎 𝙸𝚜 𝙼𝚊𝚍𝚎 𝙾𝚏?

Kit x GN!Reader

Rating: General

Word Count: 2848

Warnings: None, just lots of fluff✨

Requested by Anon: Mayhaps prompt 84 (“No, Mom, don’t tell him/her I said that about him/her!”) with Kit Walker, but instead he's talking to Jude, Thomas, and Julia. Kit had been dating you for a while and he accidentally had let it slip that he loves you to his family (they all tease him about it constantly). You were planning on visiting later (so everyone could go to the park together or do some other adorable activity) and Kit just knows that someone is going to tell you, and he is trying desperately to avoid that

A/N: Okay, firstly, anon, thank you so much for your lovely message. I haven't been too kind to myself lately (workin' on it), so I really appreciate you being so understanding💜

I kind of went off the rails with this one, and it doesn't actually include the prompt sentence, and the prompt itself is a lil different, but same basic idea, I think... I really hope you like it!!

Also, Jude is healthy bc I refuse to make this angsty.

The title comes from 'I Think I Love You' by The Partridge Family, and on that note, I'm also dedicating this to one of my favorite humans. She's not really into AHS, but David Cassidy is her mans, so Sierra, this one's for you!! Thank you for always being a wonderful friend💜💕

“Jude, I need your help.”

In general, Kit Walker considers himself to be a pretty easy-going guy; usually, there isn't much that gets to him. But today’s different. There’s something that he’s simultaneously ecstatic about and dreading.

Today's the day you’ll be meeting his family for the first time.

“With?” Jude’s smirking amusedly where she sits across from him at the kitchen table sorting dish ware and arranging it carefully in the picnic basket in front of her. Kit glances at the clock on the wall and sighs; he's got just over an hour before he, Jude and the kids are supposed to meet you at the park, and he couldn’t be much more anxious about it if he tried... Not for nothing, though.

“I just wanna make sure today goes well.” He finishes wrapping the sandwich in his hand, placing it in the basket to join the plates.

“And you don’t think it will?” Jude raises an eyebrow; she may be a particularly perceptive woman, but it isn't very difficult to see that there's something Kit isn't saying.

His mind drifts for a moment to the other night, when he and Jude sat in the living room, chatting quietly after the kids had gone to sleep. She’d asked about you, and before Kit knew it, he was spilling his guts to her, finally speaking the words he’s been unable to say to you. It’d felt amazing to finally get them out... until he noticed Julia peaking around the door frame, brown eyes trained on he and Jude She scurried off, giggling quietly down the hall, and when he asked her about it the next day, it was clear to Kit that his daughter had heard the entire conversation. And it didn’t need to be said that she had told Thomas; the two of them have never kept anything from each other in their lives…

“I hope it does.” Kit replies after several moments of silence. He’s not at all concerned about whether or not you’ll get along with his family. There’s no doubt in his mind that Jude will be taken, and the kids are going to adore you. “I just need help makin’ sure they don’t say anything.” He glances toward the two small figures in the next room where they lie on the floor, markers in hand as they draw colorful pictures and fill out puzzles from the day-old newspaper Jude had provided to keep them occupied.

“About?” Jude's smirk grows into a playful grin. She’s having fun with this; a little too much, in Kit’s opinion. He scowls and she laughs quietly.

“About... y’know?”

“About how you love them?” Jude’s voice carries into the next room a bit too loudly for Kit’s liking, and his eyes go wide. He places a finger to his lips, eyes darting to the children to make sure they’re still distracted; so far, so good.

“Yes.”

“Well, when are you going to tell her? You’re not getting any younger, y’know.” Kit's unable to stop the smile that breaks across his face.

“Soon. I just… need to find the right moment.”

“There’s no such thing as the right moment, Walker," she chortles, rolling a bundle of silverware into a napkin. “But…I’ll do my best.” Kit smiles gratefully, but she shakes her head continuing. “But they’re kids. Kids'll say whatever they want to.” Knowing she's right, Kit groans, running a hand through his hair before feeling around in the pocket of his jeans for his pack of cigarettes.

He's in for an interesting day.

——

The worn wood of the bench feels rough under your fingers as you tap against it anxiously. You take a quick peak to your right again, in search of the vehicle you’re waiting for. It’s a big day. In just- you glance down at your watch for the fifth time – two and a half minutes, your boyfriend is supposed to arrive with his family.

It terrifies you.

It’s not that you have any issues with kids. You love them. Becoming a parent has always been a part of the plan for you. However, you don’t have much experience with them and, this is the first time you’ve ever been with someone with children of their own. It’s... intimidating.

Kit, however, has been nothing but reassuring. A small smile crosses your face, thinking of the last thing he’d said to you when he'd called last night. Don’t worry, babe. They’re gonna love you.

God, you hope he’s right.

Kit’s told you so much about his kids over the last several months the two of you have been together, and you can tell by the warmth in his voice, by the way his eyes light up when he tells you something funny one of them did, that they are his world. As they should be. You wouldn’t want it any other way.

There's absolutely no doubt in your mind that you've fallen head over heels for this man... That’s what's so frightening; you don’t want to screw anything up. For anyone's sake.

You’re in the middle of reciting some of the things Kit had told you about the kids- ‘Julia’s really into football right now, a little chatterbox, and Thomas loves readin’, but he’s pretty shy’- when you hear tires making their way along the narrow dirt road. Turning your head again, your stomach flips when you see the familiar station wagon- much fuller with people than normal- pull into the small parking lot. You smile, raising your hand in a wave when Kit sees you, and swallow hard.

The driver’s door quickly opens, and Kit makes his way over, basket in hand. The passenger, Jude, stays behind to help the kids out of their seats.

“Hey, you.” Kit murmurs, a smile on his face as he leans down to press a tender kiss to your cheek.

“Hi.” With a shaky breath, you take your bottom lip between your teeth when he pulls back. With a sympathetic smile, Kit takes your hand, giving it a gentle squeeze.

“They’re gonna love you,” he reminds, and you huff a laugh. Julia begins speaking excitedly as she hops out of the car; you can’t make out what she’s saying, but she sounds enthusiastic, so you’re taking that as a good sign.

“If you say so.” You grip his hand more tightly and he chuckles as the two of you make your way toward the sound of the animated voice.

Now or never.

“Y/N!” You jump at the sound, completely taken off guard- even more so when something barrels into you, wrapping around your waist. You look down to see the small girl- the one that you recognize from the many pictures Kit has shown you -beaming up at you. Kit laughs, scooping her up into his arms as Jude moves to stand in front of the three of you. Thomas hangs onto her hand, hiding behind her dress.

“Y/N, this is Jude, Thomas, and you’ve already met Julia.” He shakes his head, tickling his daughter’s ribs until she’s leaning into him, in a fit of giggles.

“It’s so nice to finally meet you all,” you say, hoping the smile on your face doesn’t come across as uneasy.

“We could say the same to you. This one,”- she gestures to Kit- “is talking about you constantly.” You smile widely at this, eyes moving to Kit to find his cheeks turning rosy.

“Oh, really?”

“Uh-huh!” Julia chimes in, Thomas slowly nodding his agreement.

“Oh, you.” You nudge Kit’s arm gently, and his eyes shift quickly back and forth between the children. Jude lets out a trill of laughter then, taking Julia’s hand in hers.

“Why don’t we find somewhere to sit? I’m sure we’re all getting hungry.” The kids agree enthusiastically, taking off in a sprint toward a nearby gazebo where several tables sit. “Hey, slow it down, you two!” Jude calls, following them.

You turn to Kit, who brings your hand to his lips, placing a kiss there; there’s something about his expression that you can’t quite place, but he seems happy, so you’re happy. “I’m glad you’re here,” he says, letting your hands fall and dangle together as the two of you slowly make your way to the table where the children sit, awaiting their lunch. Julia laughs beckoning the two of you over, and there’s a shy little smile on Thomas’ face. Your nerves are slowly fading, and you let out a breathy sigh, smiling up at him.

“I’m glad I’m here, too.”

--

The meal is fantastic, and by the time you’re wiping your mouth on your napkin and placing it down on the empty plate in front of you, you can hardly remember why you were so panicky about this meeting in the first place. The food is delicious, Jude accepting your compliments on her potato salad graciously. The two of to you discuss your job, her asking about the intricacies of what you do. Not in a prying way, though; she seems genuinely interested.

It’s not long before the kids take to you, either. Julia already has, it seems, as she insists on sitting across from you while you eat. She tells lots of stories; everything from the science project she and Kit have been working on for school, to the time that Jude took her and Thomas to the zoo.; you find out that hippos are her favorite animal. “Isn’t it so cute when they wiggle their ears??” she asks.

Thomas takes a bit more coaxing, but not much; not when you decide to ask him what his favorite book is. His eyes light up and he brings up several, speaking excitedly about a chapter from the one he's currently in the middle of.

“Daddy, can we play now?” Julia asks, setting her fork down; she bounces around like she’s ready to jump out of her seat, and you can’t help but giggle.

“Sure,” Kit chuckles, placing his empty glass of iced tea on the table. I’m just gonna use the bathroom real quick, but go onnahead.” He stands, patting your shoulder. Shooting what he hopes is a discreet glance Jude's way, he moves toward the small bathroom stalls a few yards away.

Jude laughs, a soft smile on her face, watching as Julia moves to cling to your arm. “Alright, Thomas, it. looks like it’s you and me. What do you wanna do first?” She takes the small boy’s hand, and he leads them in the direction of the sandbox.

Julia glances around, and when she sees that everyone’s out of earshot, she leans into you, bringing a hand to her mouth to ask, “Y/N, can I tell you a secret?”

Her over-exaggerated whisper and enthusiasm make you giggle, and you nod. “Sure.”

She climbs into the seat beside you, leaning in closer to speak into your ear. “My daddy loves you.”

You’re quiet for several seconds, having absolutely no idea how to respond. You look down at her, eventually stuttering out, “O-oh… really? How do you know that?” You're half expecting a nonsensical answer, but when she opens her mouth, the young girl is serious.

“I heard him and Nana talking about it the a couple'a nights ago when I got out of bed for a drink of water.” She grins up at you. “…But I can just tell.”

“H-how can you tell?”

She shrugs. "He smiles when he talks about you." Her answer is so simple, so pure, and it holds so much meaning; you're sure there's a dopey grin growing on your face right now.

“Well, your dad’s pretty great. And I think you’re pretty great, Julia.” Her smile grows impossibly wider as she wraps her arms around your neck, pulling you into a tight hug. You hold her tiny frame and are on cloud nine when you spot Kit closing the door to the restroom behind him; when he sees the two of you still sitting there, he makes his way over.

Kit chuckles to himself, overcome with joy when he walks out of the bathroom to see you holding Julia in an embrace, smiles on both of your faces. He walks slowly toward you, silently praying that his daughter hasn’t said anything she shouldn’t have. So much for Jude’s help… Should'a known better. He glances at his friend, sitting on the edge of the sandbox with his son. Jude looks up, smirking, and he rolls his eyes at her.

Nevertheless, he’s decided. It has to be now.

“What’re you two doin’ over here?” He places a warm hand on your arm as he stands behind you, appraising his daughter. “Jules, I thought you wanted to play? You’ve been sayin’ how excited you were for the jungle gym all week.” Julia’s small legs swing back and forth as she watches her father, with a shrug.

“I wanted to talk to Y/N first.”

“Well, we can keep talking while we play, then,” you decide, standing quickly, but Kit grabs your hand, stilling you.

“Actually, I wanna talk to you about somethin’ real quick.” His voice is low in your ear, and he watches his daughter tensely.

“Oh, o-okay.” Your eyes move to Julia and you smile. “Why don’t you go down the slide a few times, and I’ll be over there in a minute?”

“Okay!” The little girl jumps from her spot, sprinting toward concrete of the playground.

“Be careful!” Kit shouts after her. With a chuckle, he takes his previous seat and pats the one beside him. You smile happily, leaning your head on his shoulder when you move next to him.

“They’re really great, Kit. All of them.”

Kit smiles proudly, watching as Jude helps Thomas make some sort of sculpture in the sand. “They are,” he agrees with a nod. “Jude likes you. The kids really like you.”

“I’m so glad.” You sigh in relief, turning to meet his gaze. “I was so worried they’d all hate me.”

“How could they?” he asks, leaning in to place a sweet peck to your lips. You smile against his mouth, your own tingling as he pulls back. You can’t help but glimpse toward playground to see if the kids have noticed. They’re still preoccupied, but Jude’s noticed; she sends you a wink and your cheeks grow warm. Seeing the exchange, Kit scowls playfully, waving a hand at her. She laughs, turning back to the sandy masterpiece Thomas is working diligently on.

“So,” Kit begins... Deep breath. “There’s somethin’ I’ve been wantin’ to talk to you about.”

“Okay.” Your heartbeat pounds in your ears. “What’s up?” …Could it be?

“It’s something I’ve wanted to say for a while, actually. He’s looking at his hands as he says this, biting down on his bottom lip when his gaze finally meets yours. “I haven’t felt this way about anyone in… a long time. Not since...” He trails off, but you know he’s thinking of the kid’s mothers, so you nod in understanding. “Honestly it’s a little scary, but I think I- I mean, I know I-“ He cuts himself off, and takes a deep breath, shaking his head slowly. “Christ. I dunno why this is so hard, I just…” He sighs deeply.

“…Kit?”

“Yeah?”

“…I love you, too.”

“You… you love m- wait, what?” His eyes grow wide, and he groans after a moment, knowing exactly who the culprit is. “Julia told you?” You can't help but laugh quietly, nodding your confirmation. “I shoulda known. My little blabbermouth.” A wistful smile grows on his face, and the amount of adoration you feel for this man in this moment is staggering.

“So… it’s true, then?” you ask, taking one of his hands in both of yours.

He nods, smiling as he leans in to press his forehead to yours. “I love you, Y/N. I do.” His voice is hardly above a whisper, but it feels like a shout; a declaration. Your returning smile is bright, certainly one of the best Kit’s ever seen- one he’s sure he’ll remember for the rest of his life -and when you wrap your arms around his neck, his own widens further, the muscles in his face beginning to ache, but he couldn't care less.

“I love you, Kit Walker. So much.” You move in for a kiss of your own; it’s short, but full of more meaning than any you’ve ever had.

Pulling back, you pat his knee gently. You stand from your seat, offering a hand out to him. “C’mon. Earlier, I promised Julia I’d watch her on the monkey bars.” Kit laughs, taking your hand and slinging an arm around your waist once he’s standing. You make your way to where the girl is currently whizzing down the largest slide in the park, squealing with laughter. Glancing at the sandbox, you see Jude eyeing you, a knowing smirk on her face; you blush, but smile back.

Right here, right now, moving toward the laughter of Kit’s loving family, there isn’t a sliver of doubt in your mind that this is meant to be.

This is where you belong.

taglist: @therenlover, @tatestripedsweater, @kitwalker02, @ladyfogg, @mossybank, @undeadcortez, @sallyscigarettes, @xmaximoffic, @samsassinparvismagna, @liandav, @kitwalkerangel, @elaineygrace, @milly-louise @americxn (please feel free to fill out this form to be added/removed for future fics)

[ask-beacons-finest]

Tarra, nervously speaking up, standing in a moonlit hall of the Schnee manor: I-I don't think we should be out by ourselves...

Basil, spinning around, in tandem with Clove: Shhh!

Basil: You're gonna get us caught!

Clove: We're just exploring. Don't be a wuss!

Basil, poiting over to a large and ornately carved wooden door: Ooooo! Lookit that! I wonder what's behind there!

Clove, excitedly: Maybe treasure!

Basil, slinking down, crawling towards it: Maybe food...

Tarra, glancing around anxiously, her hands fiddling with eachother: Mmmm...definitely trouble.

Clove, grabbing onto Tarra's wrist, dragging her along: C'mon! Let's go look!

Basil, standing at the door, checking the handle to see it's locked: Hrmmm...

Clove, catching up to him with Tarra in tow: What's wrong?

Basil, holding up a hand, a claw on his pointer finger extending as he sticks it into the keyhole: It's locked...

Clove, amazed: Ahhh!!! Where'd you learn how to do that!?

Basil, his tongue stuck out in concentration: Remember when were locked out of the house? Mom did this and it worked. I watched her, I think I can do it.

Tarra, bouncing a bit back and forth, whining: We're gonna get in so much trouble...

Basil, just pointlessly jangling his claw in the keyhole, perking upright in surprise at the sound of a click: Wha-? Oh!!! Oh it worked! I can't believe it worked!

Clove, with a big grin, her tail lashing back and forth in excitement: Amazing!!! Not bad little brother.

Basil, reaching for the handle, defensively spitting at Clove: You're only a few seconds ol-!

Basil, turning to stare at the handle as it turns, the door opening to reveal a young woman in a maid uniform staring down at the children: ...uh oh.

Clove, through gritted teeth: Busted...

Tarra, already with tears in her eyes, her voice a squeaky mess: We're in so much trouble.

Pollination!Maid, standing in the dark doorway in complete silence, staring down at the children: ...

Pollination!Maid: Why are there three pairs of eyes staring at me from the void...

Pollination!Maid, reaching over and flipping a lightswitch in the room, then taking a deep sigh of relief: Oh, thank the gods...they're just children.

Clove, glancing from Basil to Tarra, then back up to the maid: Who're you?

Pollination!Maid, bows her head in greeting, speaking with a smile: Hello, my name is Marion Rivers, I've been employed by the Schnee Manor for the past two years. You all must be the young triplets of Lady Weiss?

Basil, being the first to speak up after a second: ...what?

Marion, with a small chuckle: I'm a maid, I work here.

Clove, nearly shouting: MUTTER HAS MAIDS!?

Basil, excitedly pointing into the room: What's in there!?

Tarra, still in tears, through sniffles: Are w-we in trouble?

Marion, clearing her throat, answering them in turn: Technically we're employed by the estate, not your Mutter specifically. It's the Manor's study, the Master Lady of the House's, actually. And that is unfortunately not my decision little one, that belongs to your mothers and only them.

Basil, his eyes lighting up: Can we go in there!! We're not allowed to go into the study at home, can we go in this one!

Marion, awkwardly slipping out and closing the door after shutting the light back off, locking the door with a key: I umm...I think it would be best if you didn't, young Master Basil. I think it would be best if you all hurried back to your rooms, it's very late.

Tarra, quietly: I agree...

Clove: But I wanna explore!

Basil: And I'm hungry!

Marion, thinking for a moment, then sighs: Very well, it's better that you'd all be chaperoned at the very least. Please, follow me.

~~~~~

Basil, sitting up on a counter in the large kitchen of the manor, eating a sandwich: Oooooh! This is really really good!

Marion, with a smile, spreading peanut butter on another piece of bread while Clove waits patiently: I'm glad you enjoy it, young Master Basil, everything is homemade.

Clove, in awe: Even the peanut butter?

Marion, nodding: Yes, everything. Bread, jam, peanut butter. All of it. How are you enjoying yours young Lady Tarra?

Tarra, quietly sitting on the counter next to Basil, nibbling on the sandwich: It's...tasty. I really like it.

Marion, her face brightening up: That's wonderful to hear.

Clove, happily taking her sandwich and hopping up onto the counter next to Basil, as Marion steps back and leans against another counter in front of them: Thank you Miss Marion!

Marion, with a smile: No need to thank me, young Lady Clove, I'm only sorry that your first meals in Atlas are so simple.

Basil, already nearly done with his sandwich: Are you kidding!? This is so good I want it for breakfast!

Marion, laughing: Well, I'm sure that can be arranged for you! I'll even be more than happy to make them myself.

Tarra, still quiet, looking down at her sandwich, mumbling: I like your hair...

Marion, tilting her head: Hmm? What was that?

Tarra, speaking up a little louder: I like your hair...it's pretty.

Marion, paused for a moment, then smiles and lets out a small laugh, taking her long brown ponytail over her shoulder and strokes it: Ah, thank you so so much. That's very sweet of you. I've thought about cutting it, but my little one loves it so much I couldnt stand to. She reminds me of you too, Tarra, I think it's the cute little ears.

Clove, curious as Tarra turns into a flustered mess and covers her ears: You're a mom?

Marion, shaking her head, a bit embarrassed: Ah! No no no. Well...I suppose sort of? I have a little sister, sort of...I took her in a few years ago, the poor child was without a home and family and I...well, I know how that feels. She's the reason I got this job here in the Manor, it pays well enough to take care of us both. She's probably only slightly older than you all.

Basil, with a last big bite of sandwich in his mouth: Sounds like a mom to me.

Marion: Hmph...yeah, I suppose it does. But! It's truly getting late, please, let me bring you all back to your rooms.

Clove, still eating: But our sandwiches!

Marion: You can bring them with you.

Basil: But I want another!

Marion, sighing, though still with a gentle smile on her face: I will make you each one more. One more. Then it's bed time.

Basil: Yes!

Clove: Deal!

Tarra, nodding: ...

[rogue-barnes-16]

SECRETS (part V/?)

Summary: Detectives James Barnes and Y/n Y/l/n never really got along, despite being partners for seven months. You could say they hated each other, however, when James’ past shows up threatening to break him all over again, the truth about their feelings comes to the surface.

Pairing: cop!Bucky Barnes x cop!Reader

Genre: angst

Tags:

Permanent taglist: @notexactlythatgirl @thisismysecrethappyplace @sofreakinmanyfandoms @pizzarollpatrol @bubblycypress87 @1a-girl-has-no-name1 @loislp @lovenaturefirst @dyanna-corona @2ptonpt @goodnightmode @disneyprincessbuffyannesummers @mannls @cutie1365 @catch22inareddress @mybooradley @sebastianisasnack @butifulsoul125 @unlikelygalaxygiver

Warnings: language, makeout??? Not really.

A/N: previous parts are on my Masterlist under the name of "Secrets".

Rogue-barnes-16 masterlist

I saw my phone starting to ring due to the alarm that Bucky had begged me to set up after we had called Steve, and I quickly reached for it to turn it off.

The reason why I had been able to observe the alarm go off before it had actually done, was because I hadn't sleep again. I couldn't sleep after the fit Dot had thrown in my living room just a couple of hours ago.

Well, 'throwing a fit' was a goddamn understatement, considering Barnes, even asleep, was still gripping my hand like his life depended on it.

"Hey, it's time" my words, even if they were softly spoken, made him instantly retreat from his initial position. "chill, we got time" I reminded him, when he started to change his clothes.

"I know" he replied dryly while he was buckling his belt. "I just wanna leave already."

"fuck okay" I yielded through clenched teeth, sitting up to change my shirt and pants to outdoor clothes. "Did you sleep?"

"yeah" his eyes were everywhere but me while he grabbed his jacket and phone. "c'mon, we're already late"

I held back the scoff, and I held back the sarcastic comment, because I stole a glance at him to see that he was now completely composed, as if nothing had happened.

As if there wasn't now a bullet hole in my wall, as if Dot hadn't come all the way to my house, just for him.

He was completely composed, and that made me wonder how many times he had to put himself together that quick after his so-called wife had done something like this, or even worse, to him.

"c'mon Y/l/n, we're already-"

"I heard you the first time for fucks sake" I got up and picked up my things before following him to the entrance of the apartment.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

BUCKY'S P. O. V.

I guided the way when we entered in the precinct, but as soon as Y/n spotted Steve coming our way, she took the lead to reach him first.

"Thanks for covering us" Steve replied with a dismissive but concerned nod at Y/n's low voice.

"what happened?"

I took a peek at Y/n who was already staring at me, silently asking if it will be okay, to which I replied with a nod. "I'm gonna leave you guys alone."

When she left, Steve took a step towards me and I pulled him aside, away from any nosy ears. "she came to Y/n's"

The blond man needed a moment to process what I had just said "wait what?"

"she came in" before he questioned how she had, I answered. "I opened the door. I didn't know who was it and then she was inside and- I don't know."

"Did she hurt you?" Steve inquired concerned.

"I... I don't think so"

"what do you mean?" another question, this time quieter. "you don't remember or she... She insulted you or--?"

"Kinda. I don't know" I took a deep breath, passing one of my hands over my face. "I remember, but at the same time I don't."

"fight or flight" I nodded at Steve affirmation. "and then? Y/n-"

"she was yelling something at me and I shut my eyes and when I opened them-" I looked at the girl that had stood up for me a few hours ago, the same girl that had been helping me to actually put myself together, and not just the facade.

The same girl that was now eating a sandwich from the vending machine with her feet crossed over her desk while she went over the files of the case like this morning hadn't happened.

"Y/n was there." I turned to Steve again. "Dot lost it"

"Did she hurt Y/n?" this time he was louder than any of us would have wanted, and we saw Y/n directing us a warning glance.

"Y/n aimed her gun at Dot" I swallowed, suddenly remember vividly that instant of the morning, in which, for a second, I thought the woman that had been hurting me for so long was going to die. "Dot was convinced it was a bluff. Y/n gave her a warning shot and then kicked her out."

Steve stared at me for way too long with that look.

"what?"

He didn't answer instantly. Instead, he waited a couple of seconds to measure the words that would leave his mouth. "Today you sleep at my place." he whispered.

I scoffed so loud at his stupid solution that I made Y/n look up from the files. "what the hell?"

Steve looked down and took a deep breath. He closed his eyes for a second and I just knew he was trying not to lose it. "this was a bad idea in first place" my puzzled expression made him sighed exasperated "staying in the apartment of the girl you've been-" he checked on Y/n to make sure she wasn't paying attention. "crushing on for months- months Buck— was definitely not the best idea."

"it wasn't"

"And it's even worse if you consider that you two fucked while you were blackout drunk."

"You're walking on thin ice, Steve." I warned him when I started to feel an emotion I couldn't really describe, apart from the fact that it was bad.

"let's not forget that you stayed with her in first place" my fists clenched trying to hold back what I was feeling. "You're hiding from your mad wife."

It was anger.

"You're mad wife, who is dangerous."

No, not just anger. It was guilt, because I knew Y/n was now caught in the crossfire.

"Shut up"

"She's really dangerous, Buck."

"Steve, I swear to fucking God--"

And it was also shame, because why didn't I think it through? It was me who got Y/n in the middle of all of this, right? I shouldn't have explained my situation any further.

"Y/n had to shoot her gun for her to back off."

READER'S P. O. V.

I looked up to check on the two men I had left standing in the corner of the precinct, like I had been doing periodically since I heard the sentence 'you sleep at my place' coming from Steve.

This time, something happened that made me double check. Steve's voice started to raise gradually, which made Natasha and Sam take a peek at them.

Now Barnes' fists were clenched and his teeth gritted, as if he was planning on punching his bestfriend in front of all our colleagues.

That was a big no. I stood up as casual as I could and made my way to them, just in time to subtly tug the brunette back by his forearm.

"what the hell, guys?" my eyes went from Steve to Bucky, who was staring at me like he didn't know where I had come from, nor what had just happened. "you both get down to work. Now." Barnes glared at the blonde, which made me tug his arm again, this time to divert his attention from his friend. "Now."

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Steve, Bucky and I were the only ones left in our department.

I didn't want to make things uncomfortable for Bucky, so my plan was staying and working in the case until Steve left with him.

But Steve stared to pick up his things and Bucky didn't move. He was hesitant, observing me and from time to time, peaking at his bestfriend.

The blond man walked to the door and stopped for a second before leaving to look at Bucky intently. It seemed to me like they were having a silent argument only using their eyes.

After a few seconds of tension building up, Steve decided to give up. "g'night, Y/n." he spoke. "be careful, 'kay?"

I looked away from the whiteboard in front of me, and, turning my torso to Steve with my arms still crossed over my chest, I replied "sure. Don't worry," I glanced at Bucky, who was pretending to be immersed in the report he was writing. "I'll call you if something happens."

He nodded and, after I had mimicked him, he turned around and left.

"I thought you were leaving with him" I spoke the moment I heard the elevator door closing.

"I wasn't planning on it" he replied, quiet and absent.

"why?"

"I like your bed more than I like his couch"

I spun around to face him. "I'm serious"

"And Peggy doesn't like me one bit" he continued with what I supposed was another excuse. "I don't wanna cause any arguments." he kept typing in his computer carelessly.

"Barnes" he swallowed when I called his last name "I swear if you give me another lame excuse-"

"she knows where you live" even if he was using the same monotone voice, I could tell he was opening up now. "I don't want you to be alone." the typing stopped and one of his hands, the one that had previously been over the mouse, started to fidget with his ring. "And get hurt 'cause I got you caught in the crossfire."

'I can take care of myself' was the first reply that came to my mind, but considering the situation and context, it didn't seem appropriate.

Despite knowing that, for some reason, I wasn't able to find an appropriate response to my colleague's words.

Maybe it had something to do with the fact that his words sounded like an encrypted message, almost as if he was trying hard to tell me something that, at the same time, he wanted to keep to himself.

Unable to come up with the answer he wanted me to give him —or most likely the answer he needed me to give him— I opted for another way to communicate.

I made my way to his desk in silence and, once there, I sat on the table right besides his computer, and let my hand travel to his fidgeting one.

His eyes searched for mines, and when they found them, I gave him a smile. A tired one, though, because I was spent.

Spent because of the unsolvable case we were working in, spent because I had barely slept lately, and spent because I wanted Dot away from him and I had no idea of how I could accomplish that.

He was exhausted too, I saw it in his smile, which probably looked just like mine, just a little bit sadder.

"c'mon" I climbed off the desk and tugged his hand lightly for him to follow me. "we're going home."

We picked our things up without letting go, and made our way to the shitty, tiny elevator, where we let our fingers untangle, not before lingering on.

We both rested our backs against opposites walls while the elevator took us to the first floor.

His gaze was trained on me, and mine on his.

And for an instant, those words he hadn't told me before, those words that he had kept to himself no matter how hard he had wanted me to understand, were shown in the blue of his eyes.

And maybe, just maybe, the words that I hadn't said, those words that I didn't know I needed him to know until a couple of days ago, were shown in mine.

I wasn't sure who got close first, nor who closed the gap between us.

Maybe it was the both of us.

It didn't matter now that his left hand gripped my hip while the right one held my cheek.

It didn't matter now that my right hand's fingers were tangled in his hair, tugging it lightly, while my my left hand's fisted his shirt.

It didn't matter because it was an instant, a moment that would vanish in a couple of seconds, when the elevator gates opened.

But they opened and Bucky was still holding me still.

They opened and I was still gripping his shirt and tugging his hair.

[rixxy8173571m3w1p3]

Winter Rain

I'd like to thank @xerxezra for the encouragement. I really needed it, and to the Enya song in which the title and fic is based on. I'm still working on the fic to go with a fanart of mine, but until then feel free to check out my other fics which can be found on my Fanfic Masterpost or Ao3 links which are in my description under my header.

In this fic the reader deals with a change in plans.

_______________

City streets were passing by, underneath stormy skies. No, there were no neon signs but there were cargo trains rolling by on the tracks parallel to the main road. Hmm, wasn't that an Enya song? Perhaps it was.

Funny that you were thinking of new age songs when none were playing on the radio, though you wouldn't have minded if any music was on; it would've made a difference. Enya's songs in themselves reminded you of that one teacher in elementary school who wore that cherry brooch you liked and drowned herself in a bottle of perfume. Your teacher, whatever her name, was halfway pleasant, but always wore a blouse which was a size too big and thus you always saw more of her then you cared to whenever she leaned over a desk to assist another student. Another Enya song, Only Time, reminded you of that one book you tried to read around that time with the questionable cover. Of course, neither of these things had anything to do with the drive home, but it was a passing nostalgia you couldn't pass up.

Wiry, naked trees were scattered along the way; none of them of much consequence except to the fragments of your imagination, where they were dancers in a wintery, mournful ballet. For his part, Rick was unaware of these random thoughts, for you had not mentioned them, but you did wonder about something else when you took a glance at the time and found you two were getting home a little faster than usual. “Rick, do you prefer driving? Or is flying in your spaceship easier?”

“I-I think each one is great in its own way,” he answered, keeping his eyes on the road. “but th-the fastest way to travel is by using my portal gun.”

“So it is. Hmm, makes me wonder what the Flash would have to say about that.” you commented as rain pitter-pattered against the passenger side window. “I bet he'd have a few things to say if you can catch him.”

“Gee, I don't know. I'll ugh - I'll have to ask him the next time I'm in his Earth dimension.”

Sometimes you didn't know if he was being serious or simply joking, though you tended to believe him, especially since it only added to your natural wonder. Your curiosity was a quality which tickled him immensely, but whether he could withstand it while driving was not something you were about to test. Outside, straight ahead, the roads looked all the same, although, to the discerning eye, one would notice the cracks here and there, and the splattered paint on the curb closest to city hall and the fire station. And while the roads were neither empty or full, you would say they were in want of life and perhaps a good shoveling, but with whatever technology hidden in the nooks and crannies of his station wagon, you two drove on the icy roads with ease. It was cold outside, but you weren't cold; Rick made sure of that by giving you the heated seat and a quilt to drape over yourself.

You were, however slightly bored because Zeta-7 hadn't been talking all that much this evening. He had been in a mood and you thought it could've had something to do with the phone call he received while you two were at the craft shop but he didn't say. It hadn't made him any less sweet, but he seemed distant in a familiar way that you were sure you had experienced some time ago. Perhaps he was fearful, he would have reason; contemplative as always; afraid, to an almost unhealthy degree, but risking a chance to placate him, you joked. “Are you trying something new? Is it a seduction tactic, cause I'm certainly intrigued.”

“Wh-what?” he blushed, as he turned the corner to head towards your street.

“Aren't you trying the broodish thing all cool guys do in those cheap romance novels? You know, the kind they sell at the drugstore?” you giggled, turning up the heat in the car to fit your preference.

“Gosh, n-n-no. I ugh - I-I don't think I'm cool enough t-t-to do that.”

“Really? Well, I think if you wanted to you could, though I doubt you'd try it unless convinced it would work. Not sure how effective it would be on me, but this isn't about me. What's going on with you,” you questioned with a serious, but gentle candor. “you haven't said much tonight.”

“I ugh - I have a few things on my mind is all, but it's going t-to be okay. I'm sorry if I alarmed you.”

“Not too much, I just wanted to make sure you were alright. Are you?”

Stopping in front of your home, he admitted with a sudden disheartenment. “I don't know. Sometimes it's - it's hard to know especially if you hear bad news but I th-think I will be. Eventually.”

One of his watches was flashing, and it made you wonder if it meant what you thought it meant. While you couldn't read the line of code which passed over its digital face, you thought you'd seen a similar line of code before. “Are you going to have to go? Is that what's bothering you? I know you promised that we'd paint together tonight, but you won't be able to will you?”

“No, I'm - I'm sorry. I had asked for the whole week off, but this - it's from my supervisor. I can't ignore it. I have to go in. I-I really wish I didn't have to.”

“Oh Rick, if you had to go, why didn't you tell me earlier? I would've understood.”

“You were having such a-a great time picking out supplies that I didn't - I couldn't bring myself to crush your excitement. Now th-that I think about it, I don't know if this was any better, but I-I asked that I'd be able to bring you home first so that I wouldn't have to worry about leaving you there without a-a word.”

Zeta-7 hated to break his promises, and you hated the feeling of a broken promise, but as he switched the car off, and you two walked towards your porch, you admitted. “I would've figured it out and got home somehow. I mean there's enough Uber drivers in this town, and one of them would've driven me home, but I'm glad that at least I had this time with you. Please be careful and visit me whenever. You know you can.”

Instead of comforting him as your easy resignation usually would, he balled his fists and hit them against the railing; hateful of his own inadequacies. You had to admit that when he got upset, it caught you off guard, but it also reminded you that he still was very much a Rick, albeit a softer one. “Th-this wasn't supposed to happen. I-I don't understand why it always comes to this. We were - I had so many things planned out for us and th-”

You hugged him from behind, interrupting what he was going to say. “There will always be next time. Calm down,” you cooed, “it's all going to be okay. It's not the end of the world and I'm not upset by it.”

“But I don't - I don't want t-to keep doing this to you. I promised.”

“I know, but it's not like you do this on purpose. You see, this is what happens when a girl like me dates a guy like you. Expect the unexpected, and maybe a few space worms every once in a while if I eat a sandwich from a gas station on a comet somewhere. These things happen.”

“I wish it - it didn't. Lately,” he confessed, his voice taking on its softer quality. “I've been thinking a-about when I'd like to retire. Maybe I finally should.”

“Whatever you want to do, I'm okay with it. As long as it makes you happy, but only if you do it without regret. You would know best of course.”

“I-I certainly hope so.”

You two stood there in silence for a moment, but you heard a beeping noise emanate from under his sleeve. “I d-don't want to say goodbye, but I'll miss you m-mi corazón.”

When he wasn't around, your home felt emptier,

though you refrained from saying so, and because you didn't want to add to his guilt you simply said. “I'll miss you too.”

“Th-there's a chance I won't see you in a few days. At least it will feel th-that way for me.”

“You can always call me, and if you can't then I'll see you when I see you. You know where I'll be.”

“Yeah,” he sighed. “somewhere I-I'm not.”

“Don't say that. You're always on my mind, and I'd like to think you're always with me, in one way or another. There's no way I couldn't think of you.”

He turned around to face you, his eyes appearing twice as expressive through his glasses. Zeta-7 studied you and brushed his thumb across the back of your hand. “Siempre estás c-conmigo, and because of - of that, I'm never truly l-lonely.”

“Oh Rick, I love you.”

As easily as it was to adore him with your entire being, so it was to break his heart. Whether it had been a lack of love or an abundance of heartache in his life thus far which shook him to his bones, a replenishing of spirit was always in order. You weren't tall, you never had been, but stepping on the tips of your toes, you pressed a kiss on his cheek that never failed to floor him, and marvel as though it were from a fairy queen; one comprised of stardust and moonbeams. “This means you belong to me. Got it cutie? No one else has dibs except for me, so don't look so surprised. You're mine.”

Like a tease, the weather picked up and the strong gust which followed made you shiver, which alarmed him and prevented his reply. You were trying to tough it out because he could be gone at any moment. And must've sensed this, for against your control you shivered once more, but he pulled off his own scarf to wrap around your neck. “It's going t-t-to get colder,” he said protectively. “so please don't forget to wrap yourself up tonight. I um - I placed a-a few thick blankets in your closet just in case. Why d-don't you go inside?”

“Because I can bear it for a little bit longer. Thank you,” you smiled sweetly up at him, despite losing feeling in your cheeks. “but I doubt I'll try to leave my house for the next few days. I'll look after this for you. Hopefully, it's going to be warmer where you're going.”

“I-I can't say, it's…”

“Classified information.” you finished.

“Gosh, I-I-I guess you know th-the drill by now. Smart girl.”

“Maybe. I don't know much, but I know you, and that you can't tell me certain things because you don't want whichever information to be held against me. At least I'm learning. Either way,” you softened, buttoning the top button on his jacket. “please be careful.”

“I-I will. Can I um - can I-I give you a kiss?”

“Do you even have to ask?”

Though of course, he would ask as though your disappointment would disqualify his validity to partake of your affection. He bent down to try to kiss you goodbye, his glasses fogging up at the closeness between you two, but a portal opened right behind him and the guard Rick's on the other side pulled him through. And like that, he was gone again; without a choice; without a goodbye. Your arms which had been around his waist a moment ago, you brought down to rest at your sides, and you too clenched your fists in quick frustration but found yourself halfway exhausted by the cold temperatures and suddenness of it all.

His scarf felt warm and soft about your neck and smelled like him; of vanilla, and of whatever his house smelled like. You thought of the painting that you two would not do tonight, and how you were once again alone. That seemed to magnify it all, intensify the fact that you might've always been alone and destined to remain as such. It used to make you cry when you realized that he could be taken from you at any moment, but you had gotten used to it, or at least you thought you did. Only a few hours ago, you two were at a café, discussing painting techniques and how with a little practice you too could paint that little tree you liked that was growing in the corner of your yard; his enthusiasm was contagious, and you were pumped because you really wanted to show him you had been practicing.

If once again someone cried, then it was you because he couldn't cry where he was going; he wouldn't dare to and repress it for as long as he could help it; if only you were as strong.

Oh, winter rain, how could it relate? It knew little except its natural way; of falling upon the earth; of life; of beginnings; of letting go; of uncertainty. Yet, it wasn't the rains fault; it does not know and could not know; if only. It was cold, and you were cold, with the only part of you that was really warm being where his scarf was.

Thinking of what lied in store for him made you want him back all the more so that you could hold him, and make him feel safe. You wanted him back now because it seemed so unfair that they'd take him when he didn't want to go, but you couldn't bring him back; not even for his sake; being against your power just like the rain. For now, all you could do was only open the front door to your home and step in as the last train passed by; not knowing when the next will come.

Fin

[rhymingtree]

This snippet-

I'm so ready for more Peter and Ghostie

They're waking up next to each other again!!!

I truly hope this whole chapter is just joy and fluff and whatnot...

... Nevermind our girl is already battling the intrusive thoughts. This early in the morning too.

I too would like to wake up next to a large hulking supersoldier with cold hands and a warm smile.

“What do you want to do today?”

“I wanna go back to sleep,” 

Same.

Boone making sure Bucky took care of himself is honestly just... so fricking sweet. It reminds me of how my friends are.

Now that I think of it, they're a lot like Boone. Which is both really nice and also really fucking terrifying.

I too would like James Buchanan Barnes to plop himself on top of me in bed.

Ghost is living the dream (if we take away the whole Wraith bit)

Steve wasn’t afraid of throwing Bucky around and Bucky wasn’t afraid of hurting him.

True besties aren't afraid of hurting each other. Throwing each other across the room is their way of ✨bonding✨

YES SAM DESERVES SOME LOVE. HE'S THE BEST

AND NAT IS FINALLY HAPPY. YEEEES

PETER TIME WOOHOO

We love nerdy Gen-Z Peter. As long as Wraith or any other unwelcomed being stays away from him, this is bound to be a great time.

Also, is Wraith aware that both the Avengers and Aftermath are tracking him down? Was this part of his plan? Having every single one of his moves followed?

PETER FELL ASLEEP

When Peter falls asleep in the middle of something it's cute.. but when I do it I'm "missing a lot of my lectures" or "not taking care of myself properly".

My goodness, the double standards.

NO

PETER. DO NOT ASK ABOUT WRAITH. YOU DON'T NEED TO KNOW, AND HOPEFULLY YOU'LL NEVER KNOW.

Agent Casablanca? It kinda has a nice ring to it...

Peter being afraid of Boone both makes complete sense and at the same time, seems improbable.

She has a death glare that can turn into the sweetest smile in a split second.

Don't worry about being locked out of FRIDAY, Petey. Boone will be more than happy to help you out with that.

Steve threatening Bucky for even thinking about waking up Boone... kinda hot ngl.

Also, she's not up yet? Huh, must have had a busy night again, right Rogers? 😉😉

A hundred bucks is a lot of money, Sam... but sure, suppose you're betting on the right horse.

This is gonna be amazing...

Nat calling Bucky COMRADE!? 😭

She's terrifying and you love her for it, Bucky.

“You better not pull your punches.”

“You better pull yours,” he said before jutting his bottom lip, “Please?”

This is cute, but if I took it out of context it would be concerning.

Take anything out of context about their relationship and you'd be one step away from calling 911.

This is like the barn scene again! Hopefully it ends the way Bucky wanted it to end the first time... 🙂😉

WELL-

UM

SO THAT'S A HUNDRED DOLLARS MORE IN (F/N)'S POCKET.

Oh, poor Sam is never gonna move on from this.

Oh dang we don't get to see Ghost kick Sam's butt. Damn you Steve's POV.

Hehe, Darth Vader.. leave it to Tony to make Wraith a nice nickname.

“Darth Vader is on the move.”

Steve blinked, wracking his brain for all of Tony’s confusing nicknames.

“Ghost?”

“No.” Stark shook his head, “The other one.”

Oh, if only you knew...

I can confirm that Wraith made a lil stop to the Philippines to shut me up because I've been sending Darke a lot of taunts that somehow made their way to him.

I also sent him a TikTok. Thought it would make him laugh. Apparently Wraith doesn't have a sense of humor.

Don't tell him I'm still alive though. Wouldn't want to disappoint him.

Also I stalled him with a chicken sandwich. I think he liked it.

Aw, Sam... Knew he was going to regret it.

SHE DID WHAT-

HE WAS THROWN ACROSS THE ROOM!?

What is it with super soldiers and treating humans like footballs?

OF COURSE. THE INTRUSIVE THOUGHTS ARE AT IT AGAIN.

Crashing every happy lil moment like this...

Oh, Peter... he's such a dork

“Sorry!” He called to it with a grimace before helping it up. He patted the dummy's shoulders before rocking back into what looked like a defensive stance.

Your Honor, I love him.

I SHOULD HAVE SEEN THAT FLASHBACK COMING FROM A MILE AWAY

WHY DID IT SNEAK UP ON ME LIKE THAT

Oh my god, imagine Ghost meeting Tobey's spidey. BECAUSE HIS WEBS ACTUALLY DO COME OUT OF HIM IT'S SO GNARLY

I love how they've barely started the conversation and Ghost is already kicking him. This is just how superpowered people converse.

Boone needs to drop her skincare routine, I wanna know what concealer she's been using for me to forget that she has some pretty badass scars

“What did I do?”

“Wraith.”

She blinked, cocking her head to the side, “I think I'd remember if I did him—”

I let out a very uncharacteristic laugh.

Oh god, they're really talking about this.

Fuck, he figured it out...

“He was one of yours, wasn’t he?”

I'm still holding onto the hope that he isn't but sure okay we'll jump to conclusions.

OH WAIT THEY'RE ALREADY MOVING IN ON HIM

WAIT CAN'T HE MAKE A STOP HERE AGAIN I'M GONNA SHOW HIM AROUND THE CITY

Ghost's teaching him the rules... oh nonononono

I'm not sad. Promise I'm not.

Oh no, now they're talking about following Wraith...

Um, Ghost is on Sabbatical, also she's like, down the hall from you guys.

Seriously, I'm shocked that some of the world's best spies, a genius billionaire, and a literal fucking all-knowing synthezoid hasn't figured it out yet. But they'll get there soon, right? Something's bound to happen.

CLINT HI HELLO WE MISSED YOU

I also completely forgot you weren't at the Gala... oops. Sorry Clint.

I love how everyone is literally stressing out about Wraith but Ghost is just happily tutoring the spiderling. It's so sweet.

SHE TAUGHT HIM THE LEFT RIGHT UPPERCUT KICK

AAAAAAAAAGHH

I love their dynamic so much...

SHE DID WHAT WITH HER THUMBS

I KNOW WE'VE SEEN HER DO THAT BEFORE

BUT EW

Just two super-soldiers who lost their badass girlfriends, la dee dah...

“We never should’ve introduced them.”

Honey, I hate to tell you this but... you technically never had to...

No but Sam's right... it would be so cool to see Boone and Ghost spar...

Those two would take the whole building down with them

 “You haven’t seen Cavanaugh in action. She’s a psychopath.”

Joke's on you Nat. They're both psychopaths! 😁

Oh come on.. Penguin-Man? Penguins can't fly tho!

Oh God, Bucky's making me sad.

“Can you guys do me a favor?” He asked, his eyes never leaving (F/N) as she moved across the training room, “Don't tell her where we're going or what we're doing. I don't want to get her caught up in this.”

Natasha raised a brow, looking him over slowly “She's fought aliens and robots and—”

“Me,”

Ow.

"...I don’t want her caught up with Wraith.”

Little did you know, she's all Wraith wants right now. But you don't need to know that, Buck.

Oh God. What are they gonna do.

Are they gonna jump on Peter

Oh God

“My Peter tingle is tingling—”

This sounds like it's referring to something completely different.

PETER HIDING BEHIND GHOST! MY HEART-

“We talked about a lot of things,” he mumbled, “And I just forgot every single one of them.”

I will be quoting this everyday from now on.

WAIT WHY'D YOU HAND HIM OFF TO BUCKY

DID GHOST JUST THROW NATASHA!?

THESE ARE PEOPLE, GHOST. NOT FOOTBALLS. STOP

I should be studying for a test too, Pete. But this is a lot more fun

WHY DID BUCKY AIM FOR HIS FACE

What if... Peter said 'yes, the webs are coming out of me. deal with it.'

that would be disarming. also incredibly disgusting

I love that this fight is friendly and not... almost deadly like in Civil War... but I just saw Natasha Romanoff get thrown around like they were playing rugby. There is nothing friendly about this.

Are they-

Okay, wait-

Ghost and Bucky having a casual conversation during a messy four-against-two match is kinda cute and slightly hot.

I love Spiderman and Ghost together... I love it so much

As long as we forget that No Way Home exists, it's a beautiful pair.

I also have to study... but it's a bit too late for me...

Poor Sam is getting bullied again.. though it would have been hilarious and they just left him there and told him to wait two hours for the webs to wear off

They're so warm when they're all together, like a real family

It's sweet. It's fragile.

A training mission? He's lying to her now?

“It'll be okay, I promise,” he said, pressing a kiss to your lips again, “Trust me.”

Tell me why I don't believe him.

That GIF at the end, c'mon. Let's be honest, if I even had the chance to be able to beat up some Avengers, I'd be all giddy too.

I love this so so so much, I love the budding mentor-mentee relationship between Spidey and Ghost.

Truly hope it doesn't end the way other mentor-mentee relationships had gone in Spidey's life... 🙂 *cough* Mysterio *cough* *COUGH* Aunt May.

And the Avengers going after Wraith? With Bucky lying to her.... well.... okay.

She's gonna be so pissed when she finds out I'm kinda excited. But I'm fucking terrified. What if Bucky does get hurt?

What if Wraith tells him about how much she'd lied to him?

HOPEFULLY IT DOESN'T HAPPEN... hahahaha...

Loved this so much Darke, can't wait to see how the Avengers and Wraith meet up in that little training mission...

Chapter 68 // CAP'S QUINTET

┍━━━━━━━━ ★ ━━━━━━━━┑

Your eyes flicked between the four as they approached you. 

There was a look on Natasha’s face that you couldn’t quite place. 

You raised a brow, your jaw setting into place as your body tensed. 

Peter stood behind you, biting his lip as he studied the group, “My Peter tingle is tingling—”

“What did you just say?” You swung around with a snap and a confused blink. 

“Nothing,” Peter said quickly, hiding behind you as the four continued their approach. They fanned out around you, carefully watching you and the kid. 

“Romanoff,” you hummed, keeping a careful eye on her, “What are you doing?”

“Seeing how good of a teacher you are.” She shrugged with a smug grin.

“Great.” You rolled your eyes, turning to Bucky as he came behind you, “Buck. I ain’t gonna pull my punches this time.”

“You pulled them this morning?” He asked, a soft smile playing on his face as his arm clicked into place, “I didn't notice.”

You scoffed a laugh, shaking your head and rocking back into defense as you nodded to Peter, “Remember what we talked about.”

“We talked about a lot of things,” he mumbled, “And I just forgot every single one of them.”

┕━━━━━━━━ ★ ━━━━━━━━┙

Chapter 68 // CAP'S QUINTET

✪ Bᴀᴛᴛʟᴇ Sᴄᴀʀʀᴇᴅ : Aғᴛᴇʀᴍᴀᴛʜ

♜♠ Tʜᴇ Sᴏʟᴅɪᴇʀ & Tʜᴇ Sᴘʏ

⧗ Tʜᴇ Rᴇᴅ Rᴏᴏᴍ

» Jᴏɪɴ ᴛʜᴇ ᴅᴀʀᴋᴇ sɪᴅᴇ Tᴀɢʟɪsᴛ

@thexbookxnerdx // @autumn-em // @fadingbakeryfarmoperator // @rhymingtree // @itsmeatballworld // @kippykasey // @turtleedovee // @kamalymaly // @onewithnomightypowers // @y-napotat // @riahmcq // @thequeenofthefallen // @jesuswasnotawhiteman // @fnnshelbys // @knowyourworth-sellyoursoul // @banbananas // @beans-and-toast // @violetvictoriabarnes // @oikawasblueearbud // @itsarussian // @mrsbarnesinmyimagination // @oopsiedoopsie23 // @luhuhzy // @heyimjustlaura12 // @moonlightreader649 // @petalren // @aftermatharchives

[riverdale-jugheadjiii]

I'm sick ( Reader X Jughead )

Reader X Jughead

Request: yes

Warning: topic about a disease

A/N: TO ANYONE SUFFERING WITH ANYTHING! You will be strong okay, YOU WILL FIGHT AND ILL BE HERE IF YOU NEED ANYTHING! I’m sorry if anyone suffering with The disease that’s in the story and I didn’t describe it as it is. Because no one will know how to describe such a terrible thing unless it’s the person going through it. Once again to anyone going through any problems , illness or disease. I’m here for you at any time ♥️♥️ Once again I’m sorry for any mistakes.♥️ —-

Sunday was yet another normal day, everything was going great.. Well that’s till I started noticing a small circular rash around the area of my left rib. I didn’t think much about it, just thought it was an allergic reaction or something, I added a rash cream and went on with my day to see My best friend Jughead at Pop’s.

When I had arrived at pop’s and sat down with Jughead everything was pretty much normal. When I say normal, I mean it’s quite. Jughead and I sit at our spot and order our milkshakes and drink them away

“( Y/N/N), what do you say we go enjoy the river and swim?”

I of course agree because it’s summer and basically we’re the only ones left from our group that didn’t take a road trip with our families. Right after our milkshakes Jughead and I agreed to meet at the river in about an hour, that way we get the stuff we need and I make some sandwiches for lunch. When I arrived home, I removed my clothing and was just about to grab my two-piece swimsuit but remembered the red spot that was visible. Changing my mind I wore my one piece bathing suit and dressed in a shirt and shorts , and quickly headed down to make the sandwiches.

Once I was done with everything I grabbed my bag with food, extra outfits, towels and sunscreen and i ran out the door like I was sonic the hedgehog. When I arrived to the river I noticed Jughead just arriving too, thank God. “Juggie, why on earth don’t you have a bag with your extra outfit and why do you still have your beanie crown still on, you’re going to get it wet!”

“(Y/N/N) please I know you well enough knowing you’ll bring me a towel and extra outfits that I leave in your room, besides this crown reminds me that I’m king.” Jughead smiles at me knowing that I didn’t exactly just that.

“ you know Juggie what if I didn’t bring anything, what would you do?”

“(Y/N) I know you, you’re just so caring. Any guy would be lucky to have you… and when I say any I mean ANY, including me.”

After those words i could feel my cheeks turning pink because God knows how much I have a crush on Jughead. Anyway I ignore his comment and walk to the side of the river and lay down the towel and basket, remove my outfit and get inside warm water of the river.

“JUGHEAD JONES HURRY UP AND GET IN THE WATER!” I shout from the top of my lungs because jughead looked like he was dreaming for a second. After my call jughead walks into the water and slowly swims towards where I am, during that Process He slowly starts to lower himself into the water until only his nose and eyes are the only things showing. I start to swim away because I don’t even know what he’s about to do, but before I can completely get away Jughead pulls my hand toward him and I’m now stuck with both of his arms around me.

“Juggie, don’t you dare push me down!” I wrap my arms around his neck and my legs around his hips because if he plans on taking me down, he’s going down with me.

What I didn’t think or expect was that Jughead would end up gripping my waist and pulls me closer towards him till our chests are basically touching.

“ I actually like this position, for once you’re actually relying on me.”

“Juggie, I’m only holding on to you because if I die you’re dying with me… I’m not gonna let you be the Cheryl Blossom here while I’m Jason .” I joke with him

“ Look at you using sardonic humor on me.”

“ What can I say, I’ve learned from the best… Yup I knew I was a great teacher for myself.” I laugh at my own joke but notice Jughead is just looking at me. Before I can speak and ask what’s wrong, Jughead’s lips crash onto mine and I automatically kiss him back because once again I HAVE A FUCKING CRUSH ON HIM!

We kiss for a couple of seconds more until we both pull away with the sound of a ‘Pop’. Due to Jughead and I being one of the most awkward people on earth, we shy away and swim back to shore and act as if nothing just happened. By the time it’s time to leave we both have changed and picked up our things, Jughead offers to walk me home because in his words “ no one has found the killer yet so it’s safer if I walk you home.”

Once we reached my house, still I feel all fuzzy but don’t mention anything. Jughead on the other hand thought differently.

“(Y/N), I was wondering… umm I’ve been meaning to ask you out but wasn’t sure if you liked me, but after that kiss which you kissed me back. I was umm wondering if I could, i don’t know take you out on a date? I mean if you don’t want too it’s okay, but I would like it if you would.” Jughead jumbles his words as he asks me out.

“Jughead I would love to go out with you, how about Tuesday?”

He quickly nods without any hesitation. I smile and kiss his cheek and wish him a safe walk back home. I close my door and hear a small “Yes” from the other side. With a smile on my face I walk to my bathroom, shower and get ready for bed.

It’s currently Monday but I’m not feeling well, actually I’m feeling terrible. I noticed the small spot by my rib area has doubled in size and my muscles are aching me. I tell myself it was probably from the swimming yesterday and that this red spot is just an allergic reaction to something. I go on with my day and talk to Jughead on the phone for hours and don’t mention anything to him regarding my pain… it’s 7 p.m. and it’s time for me to eat with my family.

“ Mom, my joints are hurting me and I have this weird red spot by my rib area.” I inform my mom after dinner. She tells me to show her the spot and when she saw it she said it was probably an allergy or a mosquito bite. After my mother’s clarification I walk to bed and once again think that another day passed and all I can hope for is that tomorrow the pain leaves and I’ll be able to enjoy my date with Jughead.

It’s officially Tuesday the day which I’ll have my date with Jughead. My joints still hurt me and my spot is still the same size, which I think is good considering it didn’t get bigger. It’s only 3 in the afternoon but I know I have a lot of getting ready. When I’m done with everything for my date I notice that it’s 6 and that Jughead will be arriving to walk us to the one and only Pop’s. Just as I thought of that the doorbell rings indicating he’s here. I skip to get my purse but I end up feeling a great ache on my knee joint, I hiss a bit but walk it off and walk down to greet Jughead.

When i reach down the stairs and open the door, I notice Jughead standing there with his usual S shirt but layered with a blazer and his little crown. “You look beautiful (Y/N).”

I blush and close the door behind me. “ you don’t look so bad yourself Jones the third.”

After the date, Jughead asked me to be his Girlfriend and obviously I had to have fun with this moment

“ I don’t know Juggie, I’ve always wanted a crown and I’ve always like your crown.”

“Well you can’t have mine, this is my beanie crown , only the king wears this one. The queen must wear something else. ”

“Well then Jughead, this just won’t workout I should have let you drown in the river.”

Jughead quickly removes his beanie and puts it on my head. I laugh and nod my head agreeing to be his girlfriend. To say that was my best night in my life is an understandable.

— Two days have past since I’ve agreed to be Jughead’s girlfriend.. two days have passed since I was admitted into the hospital. After Jughead dropped me off home, my body and head were in so much pain that I had completely fainted. My parents walked in finding me passed out on the floor which is when I was sent to the hospital. The red spot has spread around my body and my joints are practically as hard as a rock. After countless of tests and checkups The doctor has diagnosed me with Lyme Disease,the doctor told me that living life would be a bit difficult from now on. He said I would have the good days when everything is fine and the bad days when I would be in this room with medication.

After the fourth day of me being in the hospital and countless of lies to Jughead I guess he had to take matters into his own hands and look for me.

“(Y/N) why didn’t you tell me?”

I stay quite and play with my hands. “(Y/N) (Y/L/N) I said why didn’t you tell me? Why did you lie to me? How long has this been going on?” He raises his voice and walks closer to me.

“ Because Jughead, what do you want me to tell you? ‘ oh hey Jughead I’m sick and I’m in pain,anyway; how’s your day?’ I didn’t want to worry you okay! It started the day we went to the river, I didn’t think it was anything but the day after I started to feel pain. After our date I just fainted and I’ve been here ever since..” I try to keep my eyes away from him.

“(Y/N) you were exactly supposed to tell me you’re here! I’m your best friend and boyfriend! I should be helping you, just like the way you helped me during my bad times when I had no one, back to the times I would hate myself because I never fit in and back to the times I felt unloved by my own family! Now it’s my turn to be there for you.” He walks over to my resting bed and grabs my hands.

“ Jughead you don’t understand! this isn’t like any of your situations, this will go on for God knows how long! There will be times when I’ll be perfectly fine and the next when I’ll be in the room attached to all these needles unable to move a bone in my body! I’m sick, and I’m not going to get any better any time soon.”

“(Y/N/N) and that’s why I’m going to be there the whole way! The whole way till you recover, the whole way till you smile and the whole way till I know that you won’t need me anymore

[scripturient-manipulator]

Hey! You said in your recent reblog that people could ask questions about things like coming out and whatnot. Do you have any suggestions for someone coming out as trans very casually? Specifically, I'm writing a novel, and while issues of sexuality I can handle, I'm a bit unsure of how I can do it for my trans characters

Hi anon! So do you mean your trans characters coming out rather than casually showing them to be trans? I think you do, so I’m gonna run with that if that’s aokay. I’m not trans myself, but as the vice president of my college’s LGBT+ club and just knowing many trans people I can tell you how they did it.

*One friend tested the waters first. With a “oh did you hear there’s a trans support group starting up in town?” and a “this character in this book I was reading came out as trans, isn’t that awesome??”. Little stuff to gauge who would be safe to come out to and who wouldn’t be. It’s a method I always highly recommend to people who’re planning on coming out, it’s safer that way.

*My ex came out to his dad in a less-than-casual way, he said he needed to talk to him and explained trans and what that was and then explained that he was a trans guy. It’s not very casual, but I’m including it in case that might line up with the personality of your character(s).

*To his little brother another friend waited he was called “sis” or something of the like and then explained that there had been a mistake; it’s like when you label a PB&J sandwich a tuna fish sandwich by mistake. His little brother understood very well and very quickly that way, which can help with all ages groups not just little kids.

*One girl I know went shopping with her parents and when they tried to steer her to the boy’s section explained it then. That she needed to shop in the girl’s section, and here’s why.

*You know those “fun facts about me” ice breakers that teachers always make you do? One member of a play that I worked on came out that way.

*Getting misgendered sucks for people who’re trans, hardcore, and a guy I know always corrects people when they do; in that way, he’s coming out as trans again and again, in an easy way since if you get corrected (in this point of time where we’re finally relearning that trans people exist) many times your mind jumps to trans.

*My first ever trans friend came out to a few people, and then the school newspaper asked to interview him. An article is more formal immediately, but then anyone who picked it up knew that he was trans, it was him coming out to everyone without having to go to each individual person. You could easily modify this to being a blog post or something.

Not a friend who did it, but me thinking. If you’re passing in ways that aren’t related to hormones there’re limits. Safety-wise, you can only wear a binder for so long (and wearing one to the max limit for a long time actually can cause back issues and diminished lung capacity, there’s no 100% never-bad safe way to bind, unfortunately) and you can only tuck for so long. I recently read Not Your Sidekick by C.B. Lee. It’s a really great book in itself, and has several LGBT+ characters and an Asian protagonist. One of her characters came out as trans by a little alarm going off to remind him to take off his binder. It can be that easy.

Also, there’re ways to lower or raise your speaking voice without hormones, I use a few of the tricks for drag since I’m a drag king. But they require patience as well as practice. Plus you have to concentrate. I can slip into my deeper voice with some ease now that I’ve practiced numerous times, but I still have to be aware of how I speak to keep it deep. So your trans character could break concentration or not successfully keep their voice high/low and someone could make a comment. Or react with a bit of body language. Might make your character feel a little put on the spot if they’re that type of person, but it can open up a chance for a casual coming out.

There’s other stuff to take into mind with a character coming out (past responses that they’ve taken to heart, the view ((or the equal harmful lack of view)) of trans people they grew up with, what they know of the other person/people, what they know about the area, if they’re the type of person who hopes things will go as they plan rather than what’s likely, if coming out casually is a fake-it-’till-you-make-it where they’re acting casual (they might even think they’re not nervous) but really they’re suddenly very aware of their surroundings and their heart is beating super fast.

And world-wise, if it’s in a different time/place/world, if it’s fantasy or the future or anything else you have to consider those influences as well. Also, if it’s in the past, do some digging! It’ll be hard at first, but trans people’ve always existed and there’s always some trace of them somewheres. Hell, my drag persona is time-era wise supposed to be among one of the first drag kings which was a socially-acceptable-ish way for trans men to exist.

So yeah, those’re a couple options, feel free to message me if you’ve got any other questions about anything! :)

~Jessica

[thesoujishow]

S01E02 - Raimei Tsubusu

[vaporwave lo-fi song]

Souji: Testing? Hello?

Raimei: WUUUUSSSSHHGFGSHSHSHSHSHSHSHS...SSHAAAAAAAA....

Souji: Ok. There we go.

[INTRO - glitchy transition music]

Souji: Hello, and welcome to the Souji Show. I'm Souji and this is a show where I talk about anything I want. 'Cause this is my show, and not yours.

Souji: This episode is sponsored by WcDonalds! WcDonald’s wants to remind you that the most important meal of the day is breakfast. [ominously] So why would you let a morning go by without staring deeply into the mirror until you no longer recognize the face staring back at you – mimicking your every gesture, mocking your every movement?

Souji: [confused + ominous] How else will you get the energy you need for a full day’s work or recreation if you aren’t silently screaming into the visage of a person who gives you such uneasy spirit, such unshakable terror, a queasy feeling every time you make the connection between what that thing is and what you are becoming? What you have become? Where does the void end? Where do you end? When do you end? What time is it now? You’ve been crying, but for how long?

Souji: [cheerful] WcDonald’s! I’m lovin’ it.

[MAIN - glitchy transition music]

Souji: For this very special episode, we have an extra special guest. You may know her as the Violet Vendetta or the captain of the baseball clan. Everyone, give it up for Raimei Tsubusu! You look fantastic today, can you tell our listeners what you're wearing?

Raimei: My sincere apologies for the white noise that was the sound of a closing inter-dimensional portal.

Raimei: It's good to be here. And a great sacrifice on your part, Souji. Not a lot of men would have the guts to expose themselves to this level of danger. As for my attire, these are unique garbs crafted by the Lunarian Moon People, forged in the pits of the thirty-second moon crater. They have plus fifty resilience to all forms of stabbing, cutting and elemental weapons, and the shirt comes with the added benefit of granting me the unique ability: Instantaneous Gangstah Charm. With this ability, I can instantaneously cast any Gokudō spell written within the Book of Yamaguchi.

Souji: Gokudō, that's a synonym for the yakuza, right?

Raimei: Yes, it is. It means the Extreme Path, the hidden school of mysticism I and others subscribe to—one of the five routes to enlightenment, alongside the Mafioso talent tree, and Mexican Cartel Member.

Raimei: In terms of appearance, I had the most excellent designers from Gucci collaborate with the moon people to compress it all down into a pair of pearl white trousers, a tuxedo jacket, white dress shirt, and leather shoes. The Gucci Glasses of Information allow me to see in infra-red and night vision, and I've also got a watch made of platinum that tells me the timezones of all the countries on the world, the moon people's time cycle, and of course, it also dual functions as a holographic mind reader.

Raimei: Some people believe Prada is better. They are wrong.

Souji: I'm more of a thrift store kinda guy, but to each their own. I'll have to get some tips from the Lunarian Moon People on how they make clothes. Most of my clothes are custom made for my Quirk to work on them so I like to sew them myself. Does your inter-dimensional portal go to the moon as well?

Raimei: I lived in this dimension for almost three hundred years before I finally managed to make my first slip into the dream-zone, and that was nearly one hundred years ago. It isn't precisely possible to take a direct, inter-dimensional portal to the moon itself. But it is possible to reach the mirror version of it in the ninth dimension. In that dimension, the moon's where the earth is. So that solves a lot of things. Has to do with the Lunarian's Mystic Mirror view. As you probably already know, portals like these are dependent on reflections. So their mirrors make that impossible by reflecting everything back onto the earth. That's why the moon looks white. It's actually a verdant landscape, filled with grass and trees and everything. But it seems like a rock because we're just looking at a dull reflection of our own planet.

Souji: That's a very unique way to look at the moon. Shoutout to the huge unknown object that smacked the shit out of the Earth billions of years ago and gave us the moon. The sun is cool but that was the real MVP.

Souji: I gotta say, you do look very gangstah. Not to mention a holographic mind reader? Quick, what am I thinking of right now? [laugh]

Raimei: I'm... not sure if that would be appropriate for me to say. Last time I mind read a guy... didn't end well. Besides, this holographic watch would also immediately turn it into a visualization, which can be very embarrassing. So I'll spare you that. But maybe I'll show you a glimpse of my power at the end of this podcast. Sounds good?

Souji: Sounds good. Guess the listeners will just have to stay tuned and find out. Tell me Raimei, how does a multi-dimensional creature end up in Kyoranki Academy? What motivates you to become a hero?

Raimei: That's a good one. There are several reasons. I've lived for about four hundred years in total, so technically speaking, there's no reason for me to go to school. But you might've noticed that there's an expansive underground movement hidden beneath the shadows... the recent events were just one example of that. The CIA, FBI, Interpol, Europol, they're all part of it in some way, preparing for the inevitable Todeskrieg Event. All the major crime groups are getting ready for that, so we are too.

Raimei: On a different level, related to my current incarnation, I'm not unfamiliar with thrift stores either. My dad works long hours... so I want to find a way to help him. I don't know, it's not really black or white. But why Kyoranki Academy? It's one of the best schools in the country. A lot of my middle school friends didn't even get to go to high school. So I consider myself very privileged. I think that alone is motivation enough to be here.

Souji: I get what you mean about helping your family. I think that's a noble cause, Raimei. I grew up poor and mum and dad were mostly out making ends meet. The money's still my number one motivator but it makes me happy knowing that I'll make the city a little bit better for everyone living in it.

Souji: I'm excited that we finally get to go on missions. It makes you think how much far we’ve come. It’s been a crazy year and now we’re actually doing our part to be heroes. I don’t know about you but I’m excited to take down my first villain.

Raimei: I'm concerned people are going to be misinterpreting their roles in this entire thing. Based on what you said earlier, you're from a poor neighbourhood as well, right? So you know what it's like on the streets. What I'm just concerned by is that a lot of the people in our class, like, ... I watch them. I see that the majority don't have that. They don't have any street smarts, they don't know what it's like to be in that situation, to be poor... to be under the influence of junkies across the street. Yea, we've been trained, but I'm unconvinced that we've been prepared to deal with those situations.

Raimei: I think we can take down villains, sure. And there might even be a few out there we could stop. But I'm not excited about running into one; nothing is exciting about meeting someone that potentially wants to kill you. And I'm not sure we're helping the city by pushing our authority down people's throats, especially by a bunch of teenagers that have been told this is their big shot at heroism. Your local twelve-year-old marijuana seller doesn't need juvie, they need role models; good, role models that can inspire them—structural improvements to their lives, like decent food.

Raimei: You know how crazy it is that I can buy five fast-food hamburgers for the price of one piece of supermarket vegetable? If people wanna help the neighbourhood; go help out at a shelter—a soup kitchen. Hand out food; give your homeless newspaper salesman some cash to get him through the day. Japanese society is harsh, man. The second you fall out of the boat, your chances are pretty much zero. Everyone despises you. Your family ousts you. It's not fun. I know it, I've seen it in friends; how they're getting torn apart just because they're like, half-Chinese or something.

Raimei: I hope our peers just remember that when they're going out. If you're going in there guns blazing, you're just going to hurt more people than you'll save.

Souji: I get what you mean. I grew up in the middle of downtown Osaka, nothing but skyscrapers. Our high rise apartment was small, but it kept us safe from the streets. The news spoke of heroes that roamed the streets, shutting down crime wherever they went. People spoke of bright, shining icons in colourful suits, flashing cheesy grins at the camera. But only a few came to ours.

Souji: Growing up in the poor meant that at a young age, I was very cognizant of how the money would and could limit me and my life as I attempted to get to the place where I am supposed to be. Most people our age will never know about ketchup sandwiches, adding water to milk or to an empty shampoo bottle to get more shampoo. Hand-me-downs clothes, books, toys. Having a ‘candle day’ because the lights don’t work. [chuckle]

Souji: When I say to people I know downtown Osaka like it's the back of my hand, I really do mean it. I know which places to avoid during certain times of the day. You had to be street smart to survive, those are the rules of the game.

Raimei: Mhm, mhm. That's what I'm saying. I'm from the outskirts of Airin-chiku, so it's pretty much the same issue.

Souji: It's easy to get caught up in the title. A hero. Believe me, I'll admit that fame is enticing but at the end of the day, we're here to protect the whole city. Trust is a fragile thing. I think most of us in Kyoranki know that because of what happened. Villains and heroes are two sides of the same coin. We're both them in nature. Both are corrupted by the noble illusion of spreading ideas and helping others who on the 'good' side defined by them respectively. It's always been the human struggle in defining 'help' more importantly 'the others'. I don't know if I'm making sense but that's how I feel. [chuckle]

Raimei: And there's a couple of areas in between that too, mind. Not everyone's a bad guy, and not everyone's a good guy like the heroes that just pander for attention or the bad guys that are in it to support their families financially.

Souji: This Todeskrieg Event sounds interesting, what's going to happen?

Raimei: The Egyptian Pyramids. The moon landings. Global warming. Why did they happen? Did they happen? Or were these just small glimpses out of a much larger conspiracy? Why dedicate millions, tens of millions of dollars only to put a guy on the moon?

Raimei: The various gangs around the world know the answer. At least, the established ones. It's all a part of this cybernetic A.I that has kept us trapped in a virtual reality dimension, Souji. You think all of this is real, but like, do we have any proof? How can we reliably say that this isn't just...computer generated?

Souji: I'm a big arcade, video game fan so this is right up my alley. I had the same hunch as you, Raimei. The truth is that there’s much we simply don’t understand about our reality, and I think it’s more likely than not that we are in some kind of a simulated universe. Now, it’s a much more sophisticated video game than the games we produce, just like today World of Warcraft and Fortnite is way more sophisticated than Pac-Man or Space Invaders. If we develop the ability to produce even one simulated reality, we will almost certainly produce more than one.

Raimei: That's what confuses people. They think I'm going on about some sort of magical thing. But magic and science are one and the same, magic's just another way of trying to add rationality to it. And that's part of the Todeskrieg event. It's French for "Totem Pole Disaster"... it's written about in various religions. Some call it the Apocalypse, others Ragnarok ... basically the end of the world. When the simulation will be using too much data for the computer to handle.

Souji: Maybe we're just figment of imaginations and our creators are just forcing their every whim to us for fun. They're our writers, and we are their characters. Maybe they're just a bunch of roleplayers in a Discord server together? Do you hear that creator? I'm The Glitch now, a bug in your system. A disruption to the simulation.

Raimei: Based on archaeological data, humans, in our current shape and form... have existed for about two-hundred thousand years. Now, of course, imagine you're a person living in those sorts of environments. Yes, you'll be stuck most of the day, collecting food and whatever. But do you think those people were dumber than us? Of course not! They might've not had the schooling, but they had the same type of brain.

Raimei: Now, imagine that sort of situation. Okay, so, the first generation of Humans... they got it hard. The second one does as well. The third generation, well, it's a bit easier. And the fourth one... we're talking about everything within the span of a hundred years, considering people lived shorter lives.

Raimei: Now multiply that by a hundred. One hundred thousand years and they're trying to convince us that people only invented farming techniques twelve thousand years ago? It doesn't make sense. You can't convince me, people, before that time didn't... invent something. Didn't create something. Didn't create a civilization. Imagine, with our technology, with our A.I systems, our virtual reality capacities... I mean, if you're into gaming, look at the last fifty years.

Raimei: Now multiply that by four. Imagine just how bizarre that technology would be. Already, we've got games that are borderline lifelike. So how can we know that this isn't just.. some giant simulation? We can't. And we have to look at the empirical, most logical type of data. There's more evidence to suggest all of this is just a program than there is evidence to the contrary. But scientists aren't willing to recognize that.

Souji: I know! I can't believe no one is talking about this. Paranormal events like hauntings or alien encounters can be glitches in the simulation. Stuff like the Mandela Effect is supposedly proof that whoever is in charge of our simulation is changing the past. And don't get me started on Quirks! Superpowers born from radiation. You’re not going to get proof that we’re not in a simulation, because any evidence that we get could be simulated. If I were a character in a computer game, I would also discover eventually that the rules of our universe seem completely rigid and mathematical.

Souji: We’ve spent billions sending probes through outer space and should probably have found evidence of extraterrestrials by now, right? Not so fast: Aliens would likely be far more technologically advanced than we are, the thinking goes, so the fact that we haven’t located them suggests we live in a simulation they’ve figured out how to escape from. Or maybe the computer we’re in only has enough RAM to simulate one planetary civilization at a time?

Raimei: That's what we've been preparing for. The drug trade, the crime cartels, it all has to do with that.

[ASK SOUJI - glitchy transition music]

Souji: Now, let's shine the spotlight back towards the main focus of his podcast... me! Now, Raimei, it's your turn to ask me questions. C'mon, don't be shy, ask anything you'd like.

Raimei: are you sure you want to give me that sort of power? Because if I get to ask anything I like... First up, what's the deal with you and Ken? I don't want to pry into your love life, but you two looked very cosy in that meeting room.

Souji: Me and Ken? Love life? Oh, umm. I mean, umm. No, we aren't. You know. Together like that. [stammering]

Souji: We're just rivals! Yes, rivals. We started talking over the summer and we got closer during the campfire trip. Bunk buddies. Yeah, that. No love life here.

Raimei: Uh-huh. ... Bunk buddies. Well, if that's the official answer...

Souji: ...yes! Bunk buddies. That's the official answer.

Raimei: And I guess, another question is... why did you start this podcast? I'm not exactly famous or especially well-liked around the school, so I'm wondering why you're inviting someone like me to do this sort of thing.

Souji: I started this podcast because of Starlight. He's my favourite hero as you can probably tell. I always watched his talk show growing up, and it was what inspired me to enrol in Kyoranki in the first place. So this podcast is me passing it forward. I want to inspire other kids just like what Starlight did to me. One interview at the time.

Raimei: That's good. That you got a role model to follow, I mean... that you know what you want to do, and who ya wish to emulate. It's the same thing with the guys I mentioned earlier. ... Don't have plushies of them though, unfortunately.

Souji: You say the weirdest stuff in our group chat and I like it! You're interesting, zany and fun. You have a unique point of view, and having you in my show is an honour in it of itself.

Raimei: And I appreciate that about inviting me on your show I mean. Glad I could mention those frustrations I've been holding up. Don't have to go out of your way for me though, I'm okay with sticking to my own little bubble. That's just the life of a made-man. Forever in the shadows.

[Qs from the GC - glitchy transition music]

Souji: Let's move on to our audience questions! These were submitted by our classmates in our group chat. Ready?

Raimei: Yea, audience questions. I'm honestly surprised anyone finds me interesting enough to ask questions, but okay, let's go

Souji: Chia wants to know who are the special people in your life? What's something you're proud of and embarrassed by?

Raimei: Special people, huh? Well, I've got my dad. My mom ran out on us when I was little, so it has always been us versus the world. I've been going to a gym now for about... five years? And the people there are my role models, I guess. They inspired me to get into sports, like boxing. One in particular... the guy's a genuine sumo wrestler. But of the old generation? But yea, those guys have made a significant impact on me.

Souji: Haruto asks, why is your skin purple? Likewise, Ao inquires, do you know the girl who turned into a blueberry in Wonka's factory?

Raimei: As for my skin colour, ... I guess I've gotten a bit desensitized to questions like that. It's a skin mutation on my mother's side, supposedly to do with Quirks. I don't know, I always find it a bit weird to talk about. That nickname they gave me too, it's like calling someone with a darker skin pigmentation the "Black Vendetta". I mean, not that I mind. Asking about the pigmentation's no problem because it's odd. I'm just saying, it feels a bit shitty to compare me with some fucking Willy Wonka scene when like six months ago a kid got bullied out of school because people kept comparing him to a video game character; so, uh, Ao, you're cool. No hard feelings. I'm just going to subtly compare you to a fucking Star Wars Droid if you try that shit again.

Souji: Ken wants to know what you think of the recent baseball team tryout. And to that I say: we have a baseball team? Can I also try out just to beat that monkey boy?

Raimei: Yea, we got a baseball team! I mean, we got teams for nearly every popular sport, right? It's a prestigious school, after all. But we're doing our best to try for the nationals. And you're welcome to join up if you want, we can definitely use a few more clan members. As for our most recent try-out... that all depends on whether he joins up or not.

Souji: Kotoe inquires, do you play the bass?

Raimei: I don't play the bass or any other instrument.

Souji: And finally, Fumi wants to know your favourite genre of book.

Raimei: My favourite genre of books is crime novels.

[ENDING - glitchy transition music]

Souji: Well, we're nearing the end of our show, Raimei, is there anything you'd like to remind our audience, maybe plug whenever they can find you online? Maybe some tips on how to prepare for the Todeskrieg Event?

Raimei: I had an excellent time Souji. Thanks for inviting me. As for preparations, the people can make for the Todeskrieg Event, consider this a bit of an unofficial announcement; we are in fact a highly secretive group. But we, that being me and a few other highly skilled individuals steeped knee-deep in the criminal underground, decided to create a sparring group a few months ago. A fighting ring, as it were.

Raimei: There's no real focus on anything other than fighting a lot, gaining that sort of experience. I don't really bother with rankings or who's best or whatever either, I mean, my choice to just not participate in that tournament should prove of that. So there's no ego thing going on. Whether ya win or lose, it's all good. It's like a clan...But our meetings are sorta irregular, so you can still be part of another, like how I'm still in the baseball clan.

Raimei: As for the best way to contact me, all the usual underground channels work.

Souji: You've been pretty cool to talk to, so before you leave, I have a special surprise just for you. But don't forget, you promised to show me a glimpse of your power.

Raimei: And I did promise to show you a sample of my hidden, mystical power, didn't I? Alright- I'll try and make sure to contain it so that we don't blow up this entire office.

[sounds of moving chairs]

[sound of an 80s disco beat from silly cartoons transformation scenes]

Raimei: Ultra-Mobster, transformation! Percentage; three hundred!

Raimei: Yamaguchi-Gumi spell; Fifty-Five! Gokudō code, page three. Entering heat mode. Specialized skill; DISROBE.

[sounds of thunder]

Raimei: Looks like I got a new favourite shirt. Thanks, Glitch.

Souji: What a way to end the show! [applause]

Souji: Well listeners, if the world does turn out to be just a simulation, remember to make the most of it. Make a point of seeing some good in every day. Drop your resentments. We all have them. Make every day count. The end of the world is coming but until then, to keep up with the show follow me @thesoujishow, and to support my small clothing business, follow @glitchgear on all social media platforms. Once again, this has been Raimei Tsubusu and Souji Yoshihiro, and you’ve been listening to the Souji Show! A show where I talk about anything I want. 'Cause this is my show, and not yours. Until next time. Insert catchphrase here.

[vaporwave lo-fi song]

[EXTRAS - glitchy transition music]

Souji: If you listen to this podcast, chances are you go to Kyoranki Academy. Kido Kotoe is looking for a bass player for her band. So if any of you are interested, please contact her at [Kotoe's school email].