#these perspectives are for both biological and adopted kids btw

[nightcolorz]

So while it’s all unbelievably angsty (I both want it so much and am begging it not to be true) I am absolutely compelled and unbelievably here for your Armand and Marius thoughts. I just want to hear ALL of them.

The idea that’s where he goes in the wake of s2 is absolutely devastating. Please tell me more about how you think that goes. How the other characters react, really anything. I never even considered it as an option and now that I am… Oh The Possibilities. What’s even going through his head that he thinks that is the choice he needs to make???

oooooo thank u for the ask hehe!! I’m a lil overwhelmed by the freedom of “just say any thoughts u have on this topic u love”, an autistic kids dream truly lmao, tyy

I’ll start with “what would be going through Armand’s head if my theory were to come true and Armand goes back to Marius in season 2”. The important factor here is that I think that Amc Armand particularly is still in love with Marius. It would be hard for him not to be, I mean Marius has played every formative role in armands life (adoptive father, vampire maker which is akin to biological father to a lot of vampires, first love and love of his life, actual master who owned him, man who saved his life, man who he considers actual God, first kiss, guy who beats tf out of him often, his only family, his caretaker, his savior, the guy who pimped him out and molested him, his past, his identity, I could go on).

So with that in mind it makes sense why Armand would not let go of his feelings for Marius easily. Despite how much he was harmed by him, and how Armand is aware that he was harmed, Marius is quite literally everything to Armand and that is incredibly difficult to just discard. But in addition to how important he is to him, Armand also likely doesn’t consider what he went through at the hands of Marius to be abuse. Obviously he knows he was abused in the brothel, but think about how he words his story when he tells it to Louis. “I was in the brothel, it was horrible, Marius saved me, he’s so good to me, he is so merciful, yes he did do these very bad things to me, but it was his right”. That is not how someone who does not love their abuser speaks about their abuse 😭. Armand doesn’t present his relationship with Marius as good, then vaguely word the trauma Marius put him through in a way that both downplays it’s reality and implies in word choice that Marius was entitled to do that, just for dramatic affect. He speaks about his past that way because that’s how he sees it!!

the way Armand perceives it, Marius sexually abusing him, though it was horrifying for him to experience and he is aware of that, was not something he is entitled to resent him for because Marius also, in addition, showed Armand mercy and kindness and care that no one in Armand’s life has ever shown him before or since, and so marius was entitled to take anything from Armand regardless of how it hurt him in return. I also think Armand has a warped view of how seriously wrong it is for people to rape and abuse him because he was taught in his very formative years in the brothel (which btw r his first memories bcus he has forgotten his entire life before that), that Armand’s purpose first and foremost is for people to have sex with him, and therefore it’s not fair of him to judge anyone for taking that from him. Over all, Armand thinks Marius was a good man who treated Armand with more kindness than anyone ever has and Armand will always love him for that.

So looking at it from Armand’s perspective, in season two he is super vulnerable, he feels like “hes nothing” as he says, because Louis left him, and Armand when he isn’t in a relationship or attaching himself to some greater purpose or system (like the cult or the coven), literally doesn’t know how to live. Bcus of his trauma he can’t function or feel safe if he isn’t submitting to something (literally or figuratively). He doesn’t trust himself to be capable of being an independent person bcus he never has been, in his life. So….after season 2 he is very desperate. He turns Daniel which other characters perceive as being both an unhinged, mentally ill move, and potentially a breaking of his core values (if an unstable person is suddenly giving up on their values that is very bad news), and now literally no one knows where he is. It definitely makes sense that if Armand is aware that Marius is alive, he thought, “hey I’m completely and utterly alone and abandoned and I feel like I can’t exist, I’m not capable of living like this bcus I’m weak and submissive and I need someone to give me a purpose, oh my god I wish things just went back to the way they were when I was a kid and my dad took care of me. My dad did abuse me but I deserved it, and he was so gentle and kind to me, and no one ever treats me like that anymore. I know he will let me stay with him if I just go back to how I used to be, which I am willing to do.” Likeee from Armand’s perspective that is a very understandable choice to make 😭 tho I’m sure one he’s very ashamed of, which would explain why he’s dropped off the face of the earth.

I think the other characters would definitely judge Armand for this 😭 and not understand it, and treat him like he’s being insane and irrational. Which I think bcus so far none of the amc iwtv characters have much empathy or understanding for Armand’s trauma and how he reacts and thinks about things bcus of it. I feel so bad for him 😭😭

[theshortolivia]

Do you ever wonder who your real parents are

First, thank you for my first ask ever! It’s super cool that I exist to people I don’t face to face know.

I’m gonna assume that by ‘real parents’ you mean biological parents. (Just a note I would try to stop using the term ‘real’ when talking about biological relationships it might offend people). Anyway, I actually do know my biological parents! I have two moms, one of them is my biological mother, and my parents used a non-anonymous sperm donor and artificial insemination to conceive me.

I used to be really uncomfortable about the donor thing as a kid, it weirded me out that there was a stranger involved in my conception. But I love to talk about this now for education purposes and as a fascinating story most people as old as me don’t have to tell (a two mom family having a kid not from a previous hetero marriage in 2000? pretty rare at least where I’m from!) so here’s some further explanation:

When my moms decided they wanted kids they actually chose sperm donation instead of adoption because as a lesbian couple in 2000 Ontario, they would have been pushed to the bottom of the adoption list and it would have been really difficult to get a child basically. So they went with a non-anonymous sperm donor. (This is better than anonymous for a million reasons I could go into another time if you’d like I’d love to talk about it from my perspective as a donor baby!) My moms decided which of them would get pregnant based on who wanted to, health, and family health history. They chose the donor based on a multitude of things: someone who looked like my non-bio mom so I’d look like both sides of the family, someone with good genetics both health wise and characteristic wise (no diseases run in family and family are very smart, creative), and because this donor specifically provided much more information than other did, way more than required. He gave us a video of himself talking about why he chose to do this, family and childhood photos of him, extensive family history including professions and personalities, etc. Then on March 21st 2000 (I’d have to check with my mom but if I remember correctly this is when) at 10am my mom got artificially inseminated and I was conceived. (I think it’s super cool that I know my exact conception date and time btw). Fun (not so fun) fact my moms were common law partners (mostly same legal bindings as marriage in Canada) when I was born but my non-bio mom was not put on the birth certificate out of discrimination (a common law husband to a woman’s biological baby would have been placed on the birth certificate), so, to have legal guardianship over me she had to adopt me. To make things equal my bio mom disowned? me and they both adopted me together! In similar discriminatory fashion, my non bio mother did not originally get granted leave from work and they had to go to court to fight it because a man would’ve. (My parents are trailblazers they’re so cool!)

I can meet the sperm donor if I’d like, he allowed meet ups on his profile at the sperm bank, so once I was 18 I could meet him. I’ve never really cared to though since I don’t see him as anything other than half of my genetic information, i suppose it could be interesting to see what similarities we share since I’m studying genetics but that’s about it. I do think it’s really cool I know my genetics so closely because it’s all written down though. Im half European Jewish on his side and have his eyebrows, and a mix of his and my bio moms hair!

I also know of the other 5 I think? children whose parents used him as a sperm donor scattered around the North America, my parents were in contact with them when I was a baby not not really anymore though, I also don’t really wanna meet them cause they’re strangers to me? Like idk it’d feel kinda weird to make up some connection to them cause we have genetic info in common.

Thanks again for the ask, im pretty much an open book and it’s super cool that I can give my perspective’s answers for questions!

(Sorry this was so long winded and probably disorganized, that’s just how my neurodivergent brain be)

[wellfine]

Hey so I rambled for like a million words on Sanji’s and Zoro’s and a little bit of Luffy’s characterisation re: living for the sake of other people vs. yourself inspired by @eastdemons recent very good character analysis so I tucked it behind a read-more to spare you all

(WCI spoilers)

realised/remembered that Sanji as a child went seamlessly from being born to exist for the sake of others (his biological family), to wanting desperately to exist for the sake of others but being rejected and treated as though his very existence were a nuisance no matter how hard he tried, to finally finding a sort of unspoken crude acceptance with the Baratie and Zeff which was conditional (in his own mind) on him existing for their sake instead, that he finally had a target to project his rejected desire to be useful onto, to finally have a reason to exist and a tangible benefit he could point to - “if I weren’t here, then the Baratie wouldn’t run as smoothly, cook so nicely, defend itself so strongly”

and sure, tethering himself to that one floating restaurant meant he could never actually go out and achieve his own dreams but he was used to that, he had already accepted from childhood that his life never belonged to him, that he existed for the sake of others and self-sacrifice was naturally a part of that to the point he didn’t even consider it “sacrifice” any more but rather just the natural order of his birth. Like how you know to queue at the supermarket because that’s what your parents taught you. I don’t know if he ever even would’ve registered on a conscious level that that’s how he thought of himself? You could argue that a lot of the Straw Hats (maybe even all of them, in their own way) believe that sacrificing yourself is "natural” to do when your convictions are on the line, like Luffy’s acceptance of his fate at Loguetown, but Sanji’s is different. The Straw Hats might say, “it’s only natural to risk yourself for what you believe in,” but Sanji believes “it’s only natural that I would sacrifice myself for others.” The others all may have a sort of “put your money where your mouth is” attitude towards self-preservation (even Usopp and Nami), but moreso than any others I think Sanji says “no, the rest of you, sit down. None of you get to sacrifice yourselves, that’s foolish. Only I may die for the drama of it all”

So even at age 19 it’s not until Sanji meets the Straw Hats that he even considers the choice of living his life for himself, based on what he wants, and not what others want or need from him. Like obviously he cared about Zeff and the Baratie and he did genuinely want to see it succeed, but it wasn’t his life’s goal. He was trying to make it his life’s goal but you could see the look on his face when he talked about All Blue and traveling for his own sake. And then a bunch of smelly weird pirates crash into their restaurant and confront him with the idea that “hey, you know, your life belongs to you, and you actually have, you know, CHOICES you can make, and it’s okay for you to prioritise your own goals and live your life the way YOU want to”

You could argue that this is a recurring theme with all the Straw Hats - “personal freedom” is probably one of, if not the most prominent theme in One Piece - where most of the crew has felt like they’ve been held back from living the life they want to lead before joining the Straw Hats. Some were held back by external influences (Nami with the Arlong Pirates and Marines, Robin with the Marines again, Brook by Hogback), some by personal obstacles (Usopp’s struggles with his own cowardice, and fear of leaving the comfort of his seemingly safe village for the risk but allure of the sea). There were other members who were held back by a sense of social obligation, too - Chopper to Dr. Kureha and his memories of Hiluluk, Franky to Galley-La in general, the Franky Family, and his memories of Puffing Tom - but those were also slightly different. Chopper, who was still just a kid, all things considered, needed “permission” from his parental figure to leave home, and Franky, conversely, needed to be sure that his adoptive family-figures would be fine on their own. Sanji and Zeff obviously have a father-son relationship but Sanji didn’t need Zeff’s specific permission or approval, nor did he need reassurance that the Baratie would be okay without him - because he already KNEW he had both those things. Zeff is implied to have been trying to get Sanji to leave for a long time. What Sanji really needed was someone to tell him that he would be okay. That he could exist outside of the construct by which he defined his existence (his usefulness to Zeff and the Baratie). That this was a thing he was allowed to do. That God wouldn’t smite him where he stood if he dared to get out of bed in the morning for his own sake, and not someone else’s. And that came from meeting the Straw Hats - all of them, but Zoro a little bit more, and Luffy most of all.

Of course he still struggles with that even after joining the Straw Hats LMAO and the poor dude has a self-sacrificial streak longer than his legs. But now I’m gonna pivot into talking about how Zoro and Sanji contrast against each other in this exact regard

Of all the Straw Hats, Zoro (and I’m still not 100% up to date with the current Wano happenings so maybe we have more insight into why Zoro is the way he is but I still don’t think it could totally disrupt anything I’m about to say) is the person who is least able to identify with where Sanji is coming from but also somehow, the most?? Because Zoro is a paradox of both living fully and wholly for himself in the moment but also being someone who has dedicated his entire life to living out someone else’s dream. Like, yeah, it’s his dream, too, but it’s been made clear throughout the series that the force behind his terrifying drive is his oath to Kuina, not just his own desire to be the strongest swordsman.

But I’m not sure Zoro sees a distinction there? And I’m not sure it’s even relevant to make the distinction in the first place? Kuina has passed away, so Zoro’s own interpretation of what her dream would’ve been, how to fulfil it, and what their promise to each other means is, essentially, his own free will. Often times in fiction when you see a character living in another character’s memory they basically model themselves around what they think the other person would’ve done, but not Zoro. He doesn’t model his fighting style after Kuina’s (quite the opposite). He doesn’t train how he thinks she would’ve trained. He even went ahead and defined the parameters of their “dream” all on his own - defeating Mihawk (is that how Kuina would’ve defined “becoming the strongest swords[wo]man”?). He is, undeniably, living life however it naturally occurs to him and pursuing whatever he wants to pursue.

But Kuina is still also undeniably a fixture in his life. He still wields her sword (fingers crossed for Wano). He still thinks of her and is still driven by the bond and oath they shared when they were younger, and he still considers her father to be his mentor. He would say that he wants to become the strongest swordsman because it is his dream and also because he’s doing it for Kuina, and they would both be independently true.

And so all of this culminates into Zoro not understanding Sanji’s perspective one tiny little bit, lmao. You’d think he would because on the surface they both live for another person’s sake but when you get deeper into it they’re opposites, as is usually the way with those two. Sanji is someone who presents himself as a “lone wolf”, sort of - the strong, cool, independent “Mr. Prince” who is often separated from the other characters, working on his own. But he’s not. He defines his entire existence by his utility to others and the capacity for his sacrifice to them. That’s why he keeps TRYING to sacrifice himself for others even when it’s pretty unnecessary lmao. And Zoro is someone who readily claims to be living his life for the sake of another person, but then doesn’t give a second thought to how that person might have lived their life. He can live his own life while also living FOR someone else. That’s not a contradiction at all in his mind. Zoro has made it no secret that he would leave the Straw Hats if he had to in order to pursue his own dreams and I genuinely still think he would, as loyal as he is to Luffy (which, btw, Luffy would unequivocably support).

And so it’s why Sanji can’t understand why Zoro would fight against Mihawk knowing that he would lose, because in that moment Zoro was living blisteringly for his own sake and nothing else, because throwing yourself into a fight you KNOW you will lose simply because it’s what you WANT is the culmination of “living your own life”. To Sanji, that makes no sense, because Zoro could still live and be useful to others. Sanji completely understands dying to protect others and so thinks dying because of your own resolutions would be a “waste”. And it’s why Sanji left so easily in WCI, and why Zoro couldn’t/can’t understand that, because to Sanji it made sense in what he still believed to be true in his mind - that he ultimately only existed to be useful to others, and that his brief sojourn with the Straw Hats had been fun, but that leaving them would be inevitable, because it was too “selfish” on his part to dare to live life for himself and that the universe would correct itself eventually. He still thought that it was wrong of him to live his own life. He still, on some level, thought that his life belonged to someone else. And at least, like this, he could save the people he actually cared about (the Straw Hats) along the way, making the best of a foregone conclusion, in his mind. I genuinely think even after everything the SHs went through together it wasn’t until he saw Luffy still waiting for him that it finally clicked in Sanji’s mind that he was the sole owner of his own life and that he had a choice in what he dedicated it to.

Speaking of Luffy, I think he 100% lives his own life for himself only, even more than Zoro - he sacrifices himself for others, but only because he wants to because he personally likes those people, not because he thinks it’s the “right” thing to do - but I also think he deeply understands and appreciates Sanji’s mentality in a way that Zoro doesn’t/can’t. I think Luffy learned from Shanks that the way you act/the things you do have a broader impact on the world around you, and so living life “for yourself” is something you have to do mindfully and consciously of how that will affect other people. And I think he learned about the idea of being expected to live for the purpose of others from Sabo and Ace, and the subsequent rejection of that idea. So he fully embraces the notion of living your life for yourself only, but he does so being aware of the implications that has for the other people in your life.

I don’t know if this makes any sense or if it’s still coherent at this point I have written (checks) almost 2000 words about one piece and I’m a litte embarrassed but you know what I'm just gonna hit ‘publish’ without proof reading thanks for coming to my TED Talk i’m sorry if any of these paragraphs just stopped mid-sentence as I hopped to finish off some other sentence

[deepblooberc]

Aaaaand here is my take on all five reasons:

#1. Can reach the top shelf: as if bio women can't be tall enough to reach the shelves...? Seriously, tell that to the 5'10" and up lesbians. Honestly.

#2. Can have kids be genetically both (bc frozen sperm): *sighs* if you wanted to do that, give it to a bisexual woman. Why do you wanna keep trying to pressure and "convince" lesbians to do this? Btw I know a shit ton of lesbians who don't want kids (ok it's like the majority of them), but the ones who do can either use bone marrow or adopt (which keeps kids off the streets).

#3. Makes regular male clothes look oversized on them: ok, so can bigger butches and masc lesbians. Like, maybe you're dating a masc lesbian who is bigger or is fat. We can wear her clothes. What if you, the OP of the TikTok, get with a woman who is bigger than you in terms of weight distribution instead of tall height from being born male? How would those clothes be "oversized?" Comparing lesbians to a little fucking kid is telling the OP of the TikTok doesn't GET lesbians.

#4. Can bench 150lbs: SO CAN LESBIANS. Maybe not as easily but like imagine the lesbians who carry around their very big dogs. I knew one who basically is a husky lover. She carries around the husky effortlessly because you get used to that weight. Again, this person uses the little kids as a benchmark, but like... Here's the thing, I'm also working out and generally picking up heavy objects at work (because I work with computers and stuff), and generally speaking I don't even have to do that because males there refuse to let me to heavy lifting. Why? Because YOU AS A BIOLOGICAL MALE HAVE MORE TESTOSTERONE ON AVERAGE THAN ME. YOU ARE BUILT TO BENCH OR LIFT 150LBS EASIER THAN ME. THAT IS WHY MALES AND FEMALES OR SEXUALLY DIMORPHIC. MOST TRANS AND "CIS" PEOPLE UNDERSTAND THIS.

#5. "I've been through so much trauma coming out as trans, I know how to show good love to a woman so you'll never have to go through bad times": um....let me tell you something.

Lesbians have literally gone through misogyny and homophobia and in some cases abuse from their sexuality being classed as a porn tag or taboo. Framing this whole "I know how to love deeply for people" as a positive on you as a trans person is counterproductive because most of us have had to go through shit too and learn how to spiritually and professionally seek help on our issues. Your issues were solved by taking estrogen to try to be like us.

Do you wanna know how many times I've had men hit on me or sexually harass or even abuse me because they wanted something they could never have? Do you wanna know how many young men and boys have groped me or leered at me, even when I had a girlfriend and was holding her hand or giving her a kiss? Do you know how many dating spaces I have had to filter out grown ass fucking men because they put their profiles as women using the excuse of "I just wanna girlfriend" to like lesbians in order to prey on me? No? Of fucking course you don't. You decided to live on easy mode and transition your way into our pants.

I don't care who I offended with this post. I don't care if you wanna "disavow" me for this. I'm sick of hiding these thoughts because I need to walk on eggshells and live a lie to believe that TWAW. I'm not on your team, that also goes for any of you all. I get all perspectives but mine to hear, so I'm putting mine to be heard.

[childrenofcain-if]

The marriage asks in particular have me thinking about the baby carriage… what WOULD the ro’s thoughts on parenthood be? Would Elias be excited to be a grandpa?

elias would be over the moon about becoming a grandfather! he’s the kind of man who, despite his big flaws, deeply values family. the prospect of grandchildren would awaken his softer side, and he would likely spoil them, enjoying the chance to pass down stories and wisdom.

he would see becoming a grandfather as a second chance to contribute to the family legacy, this time with a bit more patience and less trauma hopefully. all he asks of MC is that they do not bring a child into the world while they’re in college 🤦🏻‍♂️

when it comes to the ROs tho:

C LACROIX: C’s feelings are complex when it comes to parenthood. on one hand, they would likely feel some hesitation, perhaps even fear, given the deep scars left by their own childhood. the thought of becoming a parent brings the risk of repeating the same cycle of trauma.

a child is too fragile, too malleable, and C would never forgive themselves if they bent that child into something broken, something like them. still, there’s a small, infinitesimal part of C that would see their child—if it ever happened—as a way to prove they were better than alain. they would probably be deeply protective, albeit occasionally overbearing, but they’d channel their ambition into ensuring their child never feels the abuse or pain they did.

V NÆSHOLM: V would feel a deep, quiet fear at the mention of parenthood. their faith is a comfort, yes, but it’s also a reminder of their own failings, of how often they fall short of the ideal they cling to. what would they teach a child? how would they guide them? they’d feel the weight of moral obligation, the pressure of doing right by the child in the eyes of god. after all, their own biological parents had abandoned them and their fraternal twin on the doorsteps of an orphanage.

but there’s also a strange tenderness there, something hopeful in the way they might imagine holding a child in their arms, a child that’s half them and half the person they love. they’d worry about their own sins, but somewhere in their heart, they’d believe that raising a child could be an act of redemption and understanding.

W OSTENDORF: W is likely to approach parenthood with both fear and fascination. as a reclusive and introverted person, they feel quite overwhelmed by the responsibility that comes with raising a child. they struggle to take care of themselves sometimes—how could they possibly take care of a child? they’d doubt themselves constantly, convinced that they’d never be enough, that they’d fumble through every decision and even end up faring worse than even their neglectful parents.

but—and this is the tender part—there’s also a quiet yearning in W for family, for a place where they belong. they’d look at a child and see it as a second chance, a way to build something safe, something pure, out of the chaos of their own life. that’s their call to start a family filled with nothing but care and love. of course they’d be scared and unsure at first, but they’d try to never make their kid(s) feel abandoned in any turn of their life.

D DIACONU: D would laugh, loud and carefree, brushing off the notion of parenthood as something too serious for them. they’re the one who wants no attachment whatsoever, the one who flits from one moment to the next without a care in the world. they’d make some offhand joke about how they’re too pretty to settle down with a kid, how they’d be the worst parent in the world and even give their mother a run for her money.

but deep down—far, far down—there’s a part of D that craves a connection like that. a child would be terrifying, yes, but also intriguing. could they really do it? could they be more than their own fears, more than the mess of emotions they so often try to bury? they wouldn’t admit it, but they’d be tempted by the idea of a child who looks at them with nothing but trust, with pure love untainted by who they are and where they’re from. you will not be able to recognise the person they’d become after that.

M WHITLOCK-SINGH: there was never a question of never having kids with M. it didn’t matter if the kids were biological or adopted, their list of responsibilities included being a parent sometime in the future. there’s duty in it, a sense of tradition that’s woven into the fabric of who they are. they’d be meticulous, careful in how they planned for this future, because they know that everything they do would reflect on their child.

there’s love in it too—deep, steady, enduring love. M wouldn’t be the kind of parent who lavishes their child with expensive stuff, but they’d be the kind who makes sure that child never wants for anything, who guides them with a firm but gentle hand. they’d take it seriously because for M, parenthood would be as much about a legacy as it is about love and care. they’d feel the pressure obviously, but they’d carry it with the grace expected of them.