r5gggm5y-blog

[zoediacbeets]

just finished watching the purgatory finale vods :] the event was so much fun and definitely not traumatizing at all!!!!

[willowwzz]

𝕺𝖚𝖗 𝕾𝖜𝖊𝖊𝖙 𝕻𝖆𝖓𝖉𝖊𝖒𝖔𝖓𝖎𝖚𝖒 ℭ𝔥𝔞𝔭𝔱𝔢𝔯 2

                                             𝒞𝒽𝒶𝓅𝓉𝑒𝓇 𝟤

"You didn’t eat much did you?" James questioned as he walked thru the door. Closing the book, you walked past him and headed over to the fridge, grabbing an apple out. Taking a big bite, you held the apple in front of him. "I’m eating now arnt I?" you snapped, walking over to the back door and taking a seat on the old wooden bench that you had found at a junk shop and couldn’t resist buying. "Just worried about you that’s all" James replied, his back towards you. Quickly you shoved your feet into your boots and headed off down to the stables. The last thing you felt like doing was getting into yet another fight with James. Throwing your apple over the fence to one of the horses you quickened your pace as you realised it was getting a lot colder, and darker. Switching the stable lights on and grabbing a jacket, you threw it on as you walked into the feed room. One by one you fed all the horses that were in work, 12 in total, and loaded up the trailer with hay for the rest. You loved this time of the day, even though it took nearly an hour and a half just to fed everyone, but the enjoyment you got from sitting on the deck after a long day with a glass of wine watching the horses munch away happily, nice and warm, made it all worthwhile. "There girl" you whispered to Munchie, as you did the straps on her neck rug up, giving her a pat before placing her feed and hay down in front of her. Munch was the first horse you ever owned and she meant the world to you. So much so that you sold everything you owned and paid a small fortune to bring her over with you from New Zealand. Reaching old age now, Munchie was definitely the most spoilt horse on the property. Climbing the fence you were just about to hop back on the bike and head back up to the stables when you thought you saw a faint light coming from down in the gully. Walking slowly down the path you realised that the light was coming from the first cabin. The curtains were pulled and soft smoke was flowing freely from the chimney. Thinking nothing more of it, you jumped on the bike and within minutes were back at the stables. After locking up you made your way back to the house laughing as you were greeted by an excited Goldie, jumping and bounding like she was 2yrs old instead of 12! Her excitement meant one thing...you had a visitor.

"Bloody hell!" you screamed as you were scared half to death by Sam jumping out from behind the back door. "Surprise! Mwah haha I rang from in town, you weren’t expecting me this early were you!" she laughed, grabbing you in a bear hug. Wrapping your arms around her waist, you rested your head on her shoulder and squeezed your eyes shut. "I stopped at the grocery store and got all your favourite things, oh and some of mine too. Didn’t know how much wine you had so I brought a carton!" Sam laughed as she still hugged you. “And I also got some...." Sam was saying when she stopped suddenly, dropping her arms and turning you to face her. "Hey what’s wrong?” You couldn’t even bring yourself to look her in the eye. "Long story" you managed to whisper, fighting back the tears. "Oh no here's trouble" James laughed, walking into the kitchen after shaking his boots off at the door. Sam gave you one last glance before turning to James. "Don’t you know it buddy!" she laughed, heading over to James and giving him a hug. "So how long are you staying? Hope you’re not going to be too much of a bad influence on my girl" he smiled walking over to the fridge and giving you a kiss on the forehead as he passed. "Unfortunately only a few days, then I have to head home, but...." she said as she rummaged thru her bag, finally pulling out a bottle of wine, "...I do have a few weeks off in a month or so, and will definitely be out then". You walked over to the cabinet and pulled out 2 wine glasses. "Plus...” Sam continued, "I might even let this one...” she pointed to you, "...talk me into riding one of those smelly brown things out in the paddock!" she laughed, pulling out a seat at the breakfast bar. "I’m going to hold you to that!" you smiled, thinking of the first time you had talked Sam into going for a ride. You were laughing so hard you thought you were going to fall off the horse! "Well I'll let you girls catch up. I’m heading to bed, got an early start" James said, leaning in to give a kiss. You felt him tense as you turned away so instead he had to give you a kiss on the cheek. "Night" he smiled to Sam as he headed up the stairs. "Wow" Sam gasped, filling your wine glass up again. "What’s up with you guys?” You took a deep breath and followed her out onto the deck, grabbing a blanket as you passed. 3 hours and 4 bottles of wine later you were exhausted. You had, laughed, talked nonstop and were now rather drunk, listening intently to Sam as she filled you in on her latest boyfriend. "If only my life could be that easy" you sighed, pulling the blanket up around you. It was nearly 3am and the valley was so still you could hear the odd bird call and the soft sound of horses munching away in the closest paddock. "It can be Hun, and it will be" Sam said, kissing you on top of the head as she stood up. "But for now...I’m off to bed". "Hey Sam?" you called out, just as she was heading in the door. "Mmm?" she said, turning to face you. "Thank you for everything" you smiled. Sam blew you a kiss and turned, closing the door behind her. You sat for a moment, with your eyes closed. Your mind swirled, thoughts racing at a million miles an hour and you wished you hadn’t had so much to drink. You thought about Sam and you thought about James. It wasn’t fair to him that you carried on with this relationship and as Sam made you realise tonight, it wasn’t fair on you either. Standing, you slipped your boots on, nearly falling over in the process, and threw the blanket around your shoulders, holding it in front of you. Even though it was pitch black you knew this place better than anyone and made your way slowly down to the bottom paddock. Taking a short cut thru the bush, you stepped over logs and branches, trying your hardest not to fall into the creek that ran beside the path. You heard the familiar nicker of Munchie as you walked up to her, throwing your arms around her. She grazed quietly as you freely and openly sobbed into her neck until you couldn’t cry anymore...

You didn’t know how long you had been outside, but you knew you were cold. Laying for what seemed like forever in the soft damp grass, you watched Munchie in what light the moon reflected thru the trees, eating away happily, her life so simple and carefree. Rolling over onto your back you stared up at the sky, the stars visible thru a clearing in the trees. You knew it was going to be hard. Probably one of the hardest things you were ever going to have to do but it had to be done. 'I can’t go on like this' you thought. 'It’s killing me'. Your mind was made up; there was no way around it. You were going to leave James. 'Shit...I’m going to do it' you told yourself. "I’m actually going to do it" you made yourself say aloud. Guilt overwhelmed you as you thought how horrible you were being. That you were actually happy, almost proud that you were going to break someone’s heart. No matter what, you had made up your mind. If James loved you, he would understand, wouldn’t he? "Ahh...excuse me?" someone spoke. You jumped up suddenly, almost pushing the person over as you clambered to your feet. Spinning around you saw a dark figure with long brown hair peeking out from under a black woolen hat. Stepping backwards slowly you didn’t know wither to punch him, or run away screaming. "I'm sorry..." he spoke again.”I didn’t mean to scare you...but when I saw you walking into the forest awhile ago, I was worried that you were lost or hurt". He stepped closer to you as you held your breath, not sure what to say or do. From under his hat as he got closer, you could see the most intense, yet softest, green eyes you had ever seen. "Are you ok?" he asked again. Nodding, you picked up your blanket and started to make your way back up to the house, not saying a word. You couldnt say a word. A combination of drinking, being freezing and just getting the fright of your life, you could only just manage to breathe let alone talk and you didnt even care that a random stranger was walking on your property, you just had to leave. You turned just as you were leaving the forest to see the man walking back down towards the cabin and disappearing into the darkness...  

'Oh god my head hurts' you groaned as you rolled over. Opening one eye you noticed that the curtains were open and dark grey clouds loomed overhead, threatening to downpour at any second. 'Shit...need to put rugs on'. Sitting up and brushing your hair out of your face you managed to drag yourself into the bathroom. Tying your hair up, you threw on yesterday's dirty clothes. 'No point putting on clean clothes if you are just going to get drenched' you thought. Slowly you made your way downstairs, the smell of the cooked breakfast made your stomach churn. It was nearly half ten so you knew James would be at work. Walking over to get a glass of water you noticed a note from Sam saying... 'Gone into town, not sure how long I’ll be but have my cell if you want anything. Love u x x'. You grabbed a glass of orange juice, carrying it out onto the deck. You had only just reached down to pull your boots on when you felt the first faint drips of rain blowing onto your face. By the time you got to the stables the rain was pouring down. Watching from the stable doors you waited a moment to see if the rain would pass. 'Damn it' you muttered as you made a run to the bike shed throwing your jacket on as you went. About half an hour had passed by the time you had loaded rugs and the feed's you had made onto the trailer and were on your way around the paddocks putting rugs on certain horses and feeding the others. Finally you arrived at your beloved horses paddock and were greeted, as usual, by her nicker, excited at the sight of her breakfast. The sky was getting darker making it seem more like nearly dusk instead of 10am. Quickly jumping the fence you placed her feed bin in front of her which made her stand still while you threw her rug on. The wind had started to pick up as you reached back to do the back straps up. As you walked around behind her to do the other side, the cottage down in the gully came into view. You noticed smoke still coming from the chimney and just as you were doing the front straps up you saw the front door of the cottage open. Sheltering behind Munchie to block the wind, you could see thru the blowing trees as someone walked out onto the small deck and stretch their arms above their head. Slowly last night’s events crept back as you remembered what had happened. You thought that you had imagined it or maybe even dreamed it. Jumping the fence and climbing back onto the bike you made your way back to the stables glad that this morning’s chores were over and you could finally have a coffee. Pulling the stable doors closed and switching off the lights you were on your way back up to the house, glad that the wind was finally starting to ease, as a truck pulled into the drive. With everything that was going on with James, and with Sam arriving you had completely forgotten that you had a client’s young horse arriving. 'Great...just great' you thought as you motioned for the truck to back into your round pen. The client who owned the horse, Susan, as you often thought of her, a bitch. One of those people that had more money than sense. Yes she had top quality horses that were on the competition scene and earning top money, but horses to her were like a machine instead of an animal, with real emotions and feelings. You had worked many of her horses that were on their last chance or had problems, so she had always sent them to you. As much as you didn’t like dealing with her, you couldn’t stand it if any of her horses went elsewhere and plus she paid well. Pulling the truck door down, you were nearly knocked off your feet as a black blur flew past you, smashing straight into the side of the round pen. "Whoa...easy" you soothed as the horse tried to run back past you and out the door. The truck driver quickly shut the round pen door behind you and climbed up on the viewing step that went around the outside of the pen. "Got a good one on ya hands this time!" the driver laughed. "You should have seen us trying to get the bloody thing on the truck! Talk about dangerous. Might just be the one you can’t beat!" he smirked before jumping back in his truck and leaving. You had abit of a reputation on the horse scene for trouble horses and when you had moved into the area, you weren’t entirely welcome. A lot of the older horse breakers where not impressed that someone was moving in on their territory and taking their business, let alone a woman. Watching as the horse ran in panic around you, you could tell by the look in his eye that this was indeed going to be a hard one. Looking at your watch, your stomach started rumbling as you saw that it had just turned 12. Slowly you edged your way to the door, squeezing out as soon as the horse went past. You could hear the horse instantly slow down when he realised any possible threat had gone. 'Poor thing' you thought to yourself as you made your way back up to the house to be greeted by Sam on the deck, two coffees in her hands.

"Ha! You look how I feel!" Sam laughed, handing you your coffee. "I haven’t drunk that much since, well last weekend!” "You’re such a bad influence" you smiled, sitting down on the deck beside's her and dangling your legs over the edge. Listening to Sam talk about everything from when she was in college to what she had to do when she got home, she were startled by banging coming from your round pen. "What the hell is that?" Sam asked. "Yet another of Susan's stuff up's" you murmed, making a mental note to call her. "Oh dear, just don’t get hurt please" Sam said, concern in her voice. "Mmm don’t plan on it" you replied. You were just about to head in doors to ring Susan when you heard James truck pull into the drive. Taking a deep breath you grabbed the phone and headed into the office. Flicking thru your address book, you found Susan's number as James walked into the office. Dialling quickly you prayed that Susan would answer so you wouldn’t have to talk to James. Instead you got her answer phone. After leaving a brief message, you quickly headed back towards the kitchen, hoping not to run into him. You knew you had to talk to him, but at that moment, you couldn’t face him let alone tell him what you had decided, what you had to do... "Hey Morg, making a sandwich, you want anything?" James yelled from across the room. "Ah no thanks, going outside for a few hours" you replied, grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge as you walked past. You had just reached the back door when James spoke. "Hey.." he said. "Mmm?" you asked, turning back to face him. "I won’t be home till late but..ah.. I need to talk to you about something, but later though, ok?" he asked, not looking at you. "Sure, ok" you said, wondering what was up. James didn’t seem his normal, laid back self. Even though you knew things could never continue between you two, it didn’t mean that you didn’t care about him, or wished him any harm. Sam had gone upstairs to make a few phone calls and answer some emails and you heard James leave again just as you were heading out to the stables. You had grabbed a halter, lead rope, jacket and a book. You loved this part of dealing with horses, gaining his confidence and trust for the first time. You were heading out the door when the stables phone rang. "Hello" you answered breathlessly. "Hi, it's Susan, has the horse arrived?" she said, emotionless. "He has" you said, again thinking to yourself 'why did you deal with this woman'? "Look, I'll put this bluntly, I don’t like the horse, but it has potential. He hasn’t been handled much and what handling he has had is, well let’s just say, that you need to be careful around him. He has a month, if he isn’t up to scratch by then, then he has to go, and I mean go" she said. "Ok, I'll see what I can do" you replied. As you were about to ask her his name, she cut you off. "He doesn’t have a name, don’t care what you do with him, just fix it" she said before hanging up on you. 'Ok good to talk to you too, bye' you muttered sarcastically. Finally getting to the round pen, you looked thru the viewing hole in the side of it. The horse was standing at the far side, sweating and shaking. 'What has she done to you?' you thought opening the door and stepping in. Instantly the horse started to pace, facing away from you to avoid any eye contact. Walking out into the middle of the round pen, you laid your book, halter and lead rope down and put your jacket on. All the while the horse still kept walking, every now and then when you made a sudden move he would pick up the pace and start trotting. 'And so it begins' you thought as you sat down on the sand and opened your book. As much as you tried to concentrate on your book, you couldn’t. Your mind kept wondering back to James, Sam and the mysterious man staying in the cottage. All you could remember was his voice, so deep and soothing and his eyes. You had never seen eyes that colour. Your attention was brought back by the black horse snorting. Slowly he had calmed down but his breathing deepened as he edged closer and closer to you. Ignoring him, you turned your back to him, looking down at your book. Behind you, you could hear him edge a little bit at a time closer to you and every time he came around your side to face you, you again turned your back on him. This continued for over an hour until eventually the horse was less than a metre away from you. Just as he put his head down to sniff you; you held your hand out. At the sight of your hand the horse reared, before spinning and again running manic around the pen. 'Definitely been beaten' you sighed turning to your book again. Eventually he settled, but this time watched you from a distance, too fearful to approach you again. After looking at your watch and realising that you had been in there for over 4 hours, you slowly made your way out of the round pen. Filling his water bin and putting in a hay net and a feed, you peaked thru the viewing hole as the horse sniffed at his food, then walked back to the far end, dropping his head and trying to rest, visibly exhausted. 'That explains a little' you thought as you headed back to the stables. 'Obviously the horse has been bribed with food before, as hungry as he is, he doesn’t even have enough trust to eat'. Feeding the other horses and putting rugs back on, you checked the horse again on your way back up to the house. He had picked a little at the hay but hadn’t touched his hard feed. 'At least it was something' you thought as you walked in the front door to be greeted by a beaming Sam. "Guess what, guess what, guess what!" she squealed, taking your hands and spinning you around the kitchen. "Mmm I don’t know..." you laughed, "but it must be good!"... "Guess who is the new regional manager with a big, fat pay cheque to match?" she laughed, dancing around the room. "Oh I don’t know?" you smiled "Tell me?” "Ha Ha" Sam laughed, playfully punching your arm. "Yay...congrats!!" you replied, pulling her into a huge bear hug. You knew how hard she had fought for that job and to finally be put in that position must have felt amazing. "What a perfect excuse to open a bottle of wine" you said as you walked over to the fridge. "Oh come on!" Sam laughed, grabbing two glasses from the cupboard. "You know I only drink on special occasion's...oh and any day of the week that end's in Y!” You couldn’t help but laugh at Sam, happy that she was happy. "But..." Sam continued, a sad look spreading over her face. "Mean's I have to leave earlier....like tonight". "Never mind" you lied, trying not to let your disappointment spoil her good news. "You never know..." you continued as you walked out onto the deck with Sam following behind you, "...maybe it will be me secretly surprising you next time". "I hope that's a promise!" Sam laughed, sitting down beside you on the deck. For awhile you both sat in silence, sipping your wine, watching the horses and listening to the birds wildly going about their business as the sun started to set, taking any last morsels of food back to their young one's before dark overwhelmed them. "Isn’t life funny?" Sam asked, turning towards you as she pulled her legs up to her chest. "What? As in you spend the day with gorgeous men in suits and I spend the day covered in hair and shit?" you laughed, sculling the last of your wine before Sam topped your glass up. "Exactly!" she laughed, wrapping her arm around your shoulder. "But..." she smiled, giving you a peck on the cheek, "But...I wouldn’t have it any other way!" you replied, giving her one back. "Amen to that!!" she laughed as she raised her glass in the air.

An hour and 2 bottles of wine later, Sam was packed and ready to go. Standing on the deck, you felt guilty that you wanted Sam to stay, but also knew that no matter what, she would always be there for you and you would no doubt need her in the weeks to come. "Please please PLEASE promise me one thing?" Sam asked hugging you as her taxi pulled up. "Anything" you said, carrying her bags down the stairs. "Do what your heart tells you" she almost whispered, giving you one last hug. Fighting back the tears, you closed her door as she wound the window down. "Will call you tomorrow and also tell James I said bye" she yelled as the taxi went down the drive. Running up to the deck you just managed to see her wave as the taxi disappeared out of view. Instantly, as soon as you realised Sam had gone, the tears started...and you didn’t think they would stop.

Walking back into the kitchen you headed straight over to the fridge. You were glad you had run out of alcohol, choosing water instead. As you were about to head upstairs, you saw a note on the table.

"Hey babe....Dry those bloody eyes and harden up!! Love u, miss u all ready, will call u first thing :) Sam x x x".

God she made you smile! You headed up to your bathroom this time noticing a card sitting on your pillow. 'Sam!' you smiled again to yourself as you opened the card. Instantly your heart dropped when you realised it wasn’t Sam's writing, but James'.

"M, please don’t worry but I'm staying at George's tonight. Lately I've sensed that things have been abit off between us, and wanted to give you, and myself, some time out. I have my cell on me, and George's number is in the office so please call if you need anything...or me. J". Lying down on the bed, you held James' card to your chest and squeezed your eyes shut tight.  'So he does know what's going on' you thought to yourself as you rolled onto your side and pulled your pillow under your head. Knowing that gave you some sort of relief amongst the guilt. At least it wouldn’t just come out of the blue, like blurting out one day at the dinner table 'So hunny how was your day?...Oh good, mm mm yes me too oh by the way...I’m leaving you, can you pass the salt please?'. Ha if only it could be that easy! Tomorrow night, defiantly tomorrow night you decided. Walking back downstairs, you pottered around for an hour or so before lighting the fire. It wasn’t until you realised you had spent nearly 40 mins watching the flames that you forced yourself to get up. You were exhausted. Physical and emotionally. Back in your bedroom you ran a bath and poured way too much bath gel in, nearly causing bubbles to spill over the edge. Removing your clothes you slipped slowly into the hot water, feeling your skin tingle at the sudden heat. After what seemed like hours, and several refills of hot water, the tiredness had started to kick in as you slowly drifted in and out of sleep, when you were woken up by knocking. Not sure if you were just hearing things you ignored it as you rested your leg on the edge of the bath. There it was again, there was someone definitely knocking on the door. 'Damn it' you muttered, deciding to ignore it before reality kicked in. 'What if it was an emergency? What if the horses were out?’ 'Grr' you groaned as you pulled yourself out of the bath, wrapping a towel around you. Your wet hair, still clinging to your face and neck, covered your shoulders and was still full of bubbles. The person knocked again. "All right, all right, I’m coming" you yelled as you got to the front door and opened it. Gasping at what you saw, you felt like your legs were going to crumble as your heart leapt in your chest. Standing in front of you was possible the most beautiful person you had ever seen in your life. Wearing a navy beanie, his dark hair curled out from underneath, swirling it's way over his intense green eyes and down around his neck, sitting on his black hoody that was pulled up around him. "Um....hi" was all you were able to say. "I'm sorry..." the man apologised, "Didn't mean to interrupt...” he smiled nervously, motioning to your towel. You had been so mesmerized by this man that you had totally forgotten that you were standing there practically naked. Blushing, you instinctively wrapped your arms around you, holding the towel firmly. "Can I help you with anything?" you asked, suddenly shy. "Oh sorry, I just wanted to make sure you were ok?" the man replied, staring you straight in the eyes. 'What?' you thought to yourself as he spoke again. "I saw you the other night...was worried that you were lost or hurt" he continued as it all came flooding back. 'He was the man in the forest' you remembered. 'The man with the eyes'. "Mmm I'm fine!" you laughed. "I had a date with Mr Beam that night....Mr Jim Beam". The man laughed a deep, throaty, yet cheerful laugh. "Oh I've met him too!" he replied. "Many...many times!!". You both laughed, followed by an awkward silence. "Ah would you like to come in?" you asked. You don’t know why you had asked him, but secretly hoped he would say yes. "No no, I'll let you get back to your bath" he replied, motioning to your wet feet. Turning to walk down the stairs. "Might be able to sleep tonight now that I know your ok" he said quietly. "Thank you" you managed to whisper as he turned away. You stood in the doorway momentarily as you watched him disappear into the darkness. Closing the door you bolted upstairs to get changed. Quickly throwing on your pj's you were pulling back the duvet on your bed when you suddenly stopped. Staring at your reflection in the mirror opposite your bed, you were slightly shocked. You hadn’t realised it......but you were smiling.

That night was possibly the first night that you had slept peacefully in a long time and when you woke that morning, instead of groaning and rolling over to sleep some more, you were up and out of bed in a flash. You had no idea why you all of a sudden had an energy burst, but wanted to use it to your full advantage. After showering, you actually felt like eating for once and wolfed down a bowl of cereal before feeding Goldie and headed down to the stables. Within the hour you had feed out and taken rugs off, finishing at your beloved Munch. As you walked down to the far end of her paddock to get her feed bin that had blown under the tree's, you noticed the front door of the cottage down below open and you instantly thought of the man that was staying there. The man that had visited you last night. The man who's eyes you couldn’t forget. Smiling to yourself, you headed back up the hill, climbed on the motorbike and made your way back to the stables. After bringing in a few horses to work you let them settle in the yards with a fed and a hay net each before checking the horse of Susan's that had spent the night in the round pen. Looking thru the viewing hole you could see that he had eating his hay net but not touched his hard feed or water. You grabbed your gear, a halter, lead rope and book and slowly opened the round pen door. The horse stiffened his body as soon as you entered and watched your every move. Still not making eye contact you kept your back to him, slowly edging your way into the middle of the pen. As much as you enjoyed this part of dealing with horses, you also knew how dangerous it was. Many times you had been kicked, run down and knocked out by horses in the same situation as this one. But for some reason, this one was different. 'So far so good' you thought as the horse still stood still, not yet fearful enough to run from you. After ten mins or so, you heard the horse move as he edged closer and closer to you until you could feel his breath on the back of your head. "What a good boy" you murmed softly. The sound of your voice made the horse snort as he backed off a few steps. "Must think of a name for you aye boy?" you told him, still not turning to face him. "What about Black Beauty?" you laughed at your stupid remark. "I know...I know...not very original for a black horse is it?” After awhile of blabbering about nothing in particular, the horse had become more and more comfortable with your voice, and was even standing beside you, sniffing your hair, your folded legs and spreading his slobbery lips all over the pages of your book. "Oh thanks for that!' you laughed as you folded up the book, placing it under your jacket away from his prying lips. Slowly you stood up, standing right beside the horse’s head, the closest you had been to him yet. As you gently held out your hand, the horse took one quick sniff before backing up and again you turned your back on him. This time you walked a few steps away, and as expected, curiosity got the better of him until you could walk a whole lap of the round pen with the horse following behind. After filling his feed bin you walked with it in your hand before stopping and placing it at your feet and again turned your back on him. Within seconds the horse was happily munching away. Silently you left the round pen and peaked thru the viewing hole and watched as he stood contently, head in his feed bin. "I don’t know much, well anything, about horses, but he is a beautiful" someone said behind you. Startled, you jumped around. It was him. "He is" you whispered, turning back to face the horse so you wouldn’t have to look at him. You didn’t know what it was, but around him you felt odd, intense, as if time stood still. "Is he yours?" he asked, this time standing closer to you to look thru the hole as well. "No sadly, a clients horse" you replied, turning to pick your gear up. You started to head down towards the stables, and turned the corner into the yards as you looked over your shoulder back at him. He stood watching the horse for a moment before turning and walking back towards the cottage. 'What a dick!' you told yourself. 'Why the hell did you just freaking walk off? God imagine what he thinks of you now?' you thought as you started to tidy up, banging the buckets together in frustration. Grabbing the two horses from out of the yards, you were walking them back down to their paddocks when you noticed him patting Munchie over the fence. "Sorry for just heading off like that" you apologised as you were letting the horses go. "Not a problem" he replied, picking some grass for Munch. "I can see you are busy". "As always" you smiled as you jumped the fence. It had started to get warm so you decided to take her rug off. "Ville" he said suddenly, catching you off guard as he placed his hand out. "I’m sorry?" you asked him. He started laughing. 'That laugh' you thought, causing you to slightly smile. "Ville, my name's Ville" he said again. "Morgan" you replied, placing your hand in his. Your fingers tingled as your hand touched his. As if you were placing them in a hot bath again. "Pleased to meet you Morgan" he smiled. "I didn’t recognise you with your clothes on!” You couldn’t help but laugh, your cheeks flushing with embarrassment. "Ha very funny!" you smiled as you were climbing over the fence. Right at that moment, your foot got caught in the wire, causing you to trip. Suddenly you felt Ville's arms around you, saving you from completely falling. You stood up catching your breath. Looking up, your face was so close to Ville's that you could feel his soft breath on your face. "Ahh...thanks" you whispered as you felt his arms still around you. A small smile spread across his face. The curl in his lips was almost unbearable not to kiss. As you leant closer you could see the surprise in his eyes, yet also the urgency for you to kiss him. What the hell were you doing! You scolded yourself, but you just couldnt stop.Your heart beat quickened and you felt Ville's arms tighten around you as he pulled you closer towards him. Just as your lips were about to touch, you were both startled by the sound of a truck pulling into the drive. James' truck. "Damn it" you muttered as Ville's arm's left your side. "Umm better go" you said, stepping away from him. "Another time" he replied as he bowed, turned and left. You watched as he walked towards the cottage and once you felt like you could walk, you took a deep breath and made your way up to the house. 'Here goes nothing'...

Walking into the cold house, you switched the jug on and pulled two mugs out of the cupboard. "Not for me thanks, all ready got one" James said as he walked into the kitchen. You sat down as you waited for the jug to boil. There was an awkward silence as you watched James finish his coffee and rinse his mug in the sink. He turned to you, resting against the bench. For a moment he looked at the ground, shifting on his feet. It wasn’t until he looked you in the eyes that the tears started to flow. And once they started, you didn’t think they were ever going to stop. James walked over to the table and sat down opposite you. "I love you" he said reaching out to take your hands in his. "I love you too" you replied. And it was true, you did love James. "But..." he asked, taking a deep breath. "I'm not IN love with you" you whispered. James sighed, his hands tensed around yours for a brief second before he dropped them and sat back in his chair. "I'm sorry" you sobbed, wiping the tears from your face. You could hear James' breathing deepen and forced yourself to look up at him. Silently you cried as he held his face in his hands, his elbows resting on the table. You heard him sniff every now and then, eventually standing up. "I'm glad you finally decided to tell me the truth" he said, a slight hint of anger in his voice. "I don’t know why you couldn’t have trusted me enough to tell me earlier". "I thought I could have made it work, I really, really did" you replied. James walked over to the bench grabbed the tissue's and placed them in front of you. "Drink?" he asked. You nodded yes, watching him as he poured you a large coke. You’re favourite. That was James, knew all you quirk's and habit's, like's and dislike's, and even though you had just broken his heart he still made you his first priority. "So what happens now?" he asked, getting himself a beer out the fridge. You shrugged your shoulders. What did happen now? "No matter what...” James continued, "...this place is yours, I'm not taking your dream away from you". "Thank you" you murmed. You both sat in silence for a moment when James stood up. You watched as he headed upstairs. He returned a few minutes later with a couple of bags. "You don’t have to go...” you said quickly, standing up. James smiled as he placed his bags on the deck. "Yes I do" he replied, turning to face you. "I'll be back at some stage to get the rest of my things and sort stuff out". The tears started falling again as you squeezed your eyes tight trying to fight them back. You felt James step closer towards and wrap his arms around you. "I'm sorry...” you wept again into his shoulder. "I know...” James replied before letting you go. You watched as James threw his stuff into the back of his truck and climb in. He gave a simple wave before heading off down the drive. You don’t know how long you sat on the step that night, Goldie by your side. But once the tears finally stopped and your body couldn’t take the cold anymore, you dragged yourself to your bed, not bothering to change and fell instantly asleep.

[supersoldierslover]

The Accidental Mrs. Rogers Part 5

Summary:  (Modern Au) To celebrate your birthday, you and your friends go to Vegas. After a very drunk night, you discover that your life changed forever.

Pairing: Steve x Reader

Words: 1710 

Warnings:  Just fluffy for now

Thank you @unbetaedimagines for beta this for me,You are the best

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4

Looking at yourself in the mirror, you look different than before; you look happier. You can’t stop smiling and there is now a spark in your eyes .

Today is your first official date with Steve, and you have all kinds of feelings going on inside of you. You are excited, you are anxious; you are feeling self-conscious but more importantly, you are feeling hopeful.

It was nice to feel like this, like everything was possible.

You know that Steve is a romantic at heart. You’ve watched him in past relationships and the little things he did for his lovers. The roses, the gifts, the midnight calls; all the little things.

Even when you think about your relationship with him, you’ve had a taste of this treatment. The necklace that he gave you on your birthday was never off your neck. It was one the most thoughtful presents that you ever got.

But even before that, you can’t count how many times he’s let you borrow his sweatshirt because you were cold, or how many coffees he bought you during college.

However, you never thought of him as a mysterious guy. He refused to let you know where you two were going tonight. All he told you was for you to dress casually and to feel comfortable.

So this is what you did, with a pair of black jeans and nice shit in the same color. You add the red lipstick as a final touch, and you are ready for your date.

At 8 pm sharp, Steve knocks on your bedroom door. He looks extremely handsome in his blue jeans and white jersey. But what really catches your attention is the fact that he is holding a bouquet  of white daisies in his hand.

“Hey… you didn’t have to.”  You say, picking up the flowers and smelling them; Daisies are your favorite. “Of course I did, it is our first date.” He says simply, making you smile “Thank you, Steve. So where are you taking me?” You ask, going to the living room and picking a vase to put the flowers in. He shrugs, following you around.

“There is only a place that I want to take you and you are going to find out soon.” He says, picking up his jacket that was on the sofa. As curious as you are about the date, you would be happy with whatever he chose. It doesn’t matter how simple or cliché, a dinner and movie with Steve sounds like perfection.

Outside of the apartment, instead of going downstairs and outside of the building, he takes you upstairs to the rooftop. You have been there a few times; once on Bucky’s birthday and the other was at a Halloween party.

The rooftop that is usually crowded is now empty. There are some candles on the floor leading to a blanket with pillows, and a picnic basket. It is the perfect night to have a picnic; the stars are shinning and the weather is warm.

“This is incredible, Stevie.”  You say, looking around. You could only imagine a date like this in your wildest dreams. “I wanted to make it special.” He replies, sitting on the floor and helping you do the same.

You smile as he starts to take the food out of the basket; he bought all your favorites, from the cake of the bakery down the street, to that wine close to his workplace.  He didn’t have to be this sweet, but you love that he is.

“This is already the best date that I’ve ever had.” You say, taking a bite of the croissant. “Better than your date with Ben? That guy from our second year of college?”   He asks playfully, and you roll your eyes at him.

“You know, that was the worst date of life, how dare you to bring it up!” You say, pretending to be offended, making him laugh. “Come on, I remember you saying it wasn’t that bad... You said that he was nice.” He says coltish; you know that he is messing you with you

. You remember the day after that date, you meet Steve at your favorite coffee place and you couldn’t stop complaining about the guy. That was the day you swore off  men.

“Should I remind you of your date with Natalie?”  You ask, deciding to give him a taste of his own medicine. “She was a lovely girl, but not my type.”

You laugh;  Ben was a jerk who was very late for your date and in the end called you a bitch because you didn’t want to have sex with him; Natalie was crazy.

After only one date, she decided that she was totally in love with Steve and when he let her down gently, she slapped his face and told him that he was going to regret this.  For a whole month, she made his life hell, calling in the middle of the night and texting him nonstop.

“That is nice of you to say.” He shrugs, like what she did was no big deal. “Well, I didn’t really care about Natalie. She was not the one on my mind back then.” He says, looking directly at you. You bite your lip, putting a  piece of hair behind your ear.

“Stevie, when did you know that you liked me?” You ask, avoiding eye contact. This was something that was on your mind for a while now. He blushes, running his hand through his hair.

“Since forever, but I think the day I realized it was during that trip when we went to Spain. More specifically, that day we went to that beach , just the two of us.” You nod; that day in Alicante was perfect.

Before Steve started grad school, he wanted to go for one last adventure, so you and a few other friends went to Spain for a couple of weeks. You spent two weeks exploring the cities and all the country had to offer.

One day you, the two of you decide to do a little adventure. One of your friends told you that Alicante was beautiful. So you explored the city, taking silly pictures in the tourist spots, and at the end of the day you two were on the beach.

You never have felt so close to Steve. You two shared secrets and stories from your past and he told you a little about his family, especially his mom and you told him about yours.

You don’t remember much, but you know that you laughed a lot that day and that you felt good.

“What about you, when did you know that you liked me?” He asks shyly. You smile, but you don’t know how to answer that. Part of you has always liked him, since the moment you saw him at that party, sitting outside, talking with Sam and Natasha.

Still, you don’t remember the exact moment  you knew that you wanted something more with him. You two shared so many moments over the years, how can you choose one?  But when stop to think about it, there is one moment that you knew that you were in love.

“I don’t know if you remember, but there was one day that we were in your dorm. I was lying on your bed and you were sitting on the floor, reading a book and I was playing on my phone. We were just there, sitting in silence. It was nice, and then you looked at me and you smiled…  I knew then that you weren’t just a friend.”

He gets close to you, his fingers tracing your cheek and his thumb on your lips. “It’s ridiculous that we’ve been pining for each other for so long and only got together now.” You say, breaking the silence making him smile.

“I agree, but I think this happened for a reason. I don’t know how to explain it, but I think it was good for us to go in all the bad dates, go thru college and grad school to truly appreciate each other… “

You nod; you understand what he means. You two needed to grow up as people to truly to value each other’s company. You already love Steve; you never want to do anything to hurt him or to break his heart.

“Yeah, I really understand that.”  You say, caressing his cheek, getting closer to him. For a moment all you can do is stare at his lips; you want to kiss him, you want to know the taste of his lips on yours, but instead, you pull him in for a hug.

For the rest of the night, you two reminisce about the good times in college, eating the delicious food that he bought, laughing at the memories. If you were being honest, this was one of the best dates that you’ve ever had.

Steve always knew how to make you laugh and feel special, like you were the only person in the universe.  You love how thoughtful he was planning this date. He chose the perfect place for the two of you.

After you two finish eating, you gaze at the sky. Steve lays on the pillows, and you lay on his chest, listening to his heartbeat. You don’t know how much time you two spent like this, just enjoying each other’s company.

“We should get inside, it’s almost 1 am.” He says, caressing your back, you nuzzle into his chest. “But I’m so comfortable.” You whine, making him laugh. “Come on darling, it’s cold out here.” You nod, getting up and going inside.

“Thank you for tonight, it was really fun.” You say, stopping in front of your room, Steve smiles, running his hands through his hair. “I’m glad that you had fun and maybe we can do it again sometime?” He asks, hope in his voice.

Instead of answering him, you get closer to him, and you pull him in for a kiss. This is your first kiss since the night you two got married; the kiss was gentle and short. His lips are very soft and the kiss is everything you ever wanted.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, Stevie.” You say, breaking the kiss and going to your room.

Part 6

I was so excited for this chapter, i wanted to do something that was pure fluff and i hope you guys enjoyed. Please leave feedback keeps motivated to write.