#these designs are very fun to draw so i wouldnt be surprised if i end up doing more lel

[taxed-up-trotter]

Lambs by @dogiperson !!! Always a delight to see your concepts and designs :)

[pbandjesse]

I'm sitting at a wedding and I am having a really nice time. I really do hope that this can be more regular in the fall. Because I do really love doing the events and I want to do it more. It makes me happy.

Today was a pretty good day overall. Not as successful a market day as far as sales go. But I had fun. It was a good day.

I slept better. Had an easier time falling asleep. The air conditioner noise helps. And I wore a hoodie which seems to trick my brain into sleeping more securely.

When I woke up at 7 I was tired but it was fine. I got washed and dressed and when I got out of the bathroom James was there and they said that when they come upstairs to make the bed and I'm not out yet they get all excited to get to see me and I thought that was so cute.

James had already loaded up the car and they even remembered my tablet. I would still forget my knitting in the end but it was okay. I would draw on my tablet for a lot of the day. It all worked out.

We stopped for breakfast and then over to the market. We were pretty early so James was able tos gay outside and help me set up before they went inside to do their job.

They would continue to help me though. Making a little flyer for my workshop. And they would come out to get baked goods with me later on. I would spend the first part of the morning helping with new vendors and just talking to Ann and Stanley about the drama around the events department and how I got my feelings hurt. They had their own thoughts and issues but it was nice to get another opinion on the whole thing.

I would make some sales. But I wouldnt get my sales goal for the day. I had gotten so many sales last week that it still evens out in the end but it can be discouraging. Especially when it was still a particularly busy day. Lots of people.

I was very focused on my drawing. I haven't made new bear designs in forever and people keep suggesting sports bears. So that is what I did. A baseball. Two football. A Michael Phelps. And then I would make Edwin my best I sleep with but that's mostly for me.

I would also have some nice conversations. The child who I promised the squishmallows to came and got so super nervous but her mom came up to double check with me that I was giving them to her. And I was like yes please take them happy birthday I'm just so glad that a child is actively getting them.

I would spend time talking to Stanley. And just enjoying a beautiful day.

At noon two guys walked up to me and were like "hey Jesse!" And it didn't hit me at first but it was James's friends Meir and Brooks! They were in town for a baseball game and it was so nice to see them. We would talk for most of a half hour. Eventually they would go inside to say hi to James.

I told them I would be able to pack up in 2 minutes and when the market was done I did just that. I packed up. I got eveything in the car. And I went to say goodbye to my husband

Meir and Brooks were leaving as I was coming in and they were surprised I actually was done packing up so fast. (They would come to our house after the game to see it and I was happy to hear about that from James. I hope they thought it was cute.)

I would go right home after hugging James goodbye. We weren't sure we would cross paths when I came back to the musuem later. So we said goodbye and I went home to rest.

When I got home I brought in my one basket because it has baked goods in it. I would hug in Sweetp for a little. And went to put a little frozen pizza in the microwave.

While that cooked and also cooled down I went and changed into comfy clothes. I put my hair in a bun and ate my little lunch. I was in bed by 2.

I struggled to stay asleep. I kept waking up panicked that I had missed my alarm. But even with the waking up I got a good amount of rest.

When I woke up I was pretty dehydrated and a little confused. But I got cleaned up and redressed and felt real nice and very pretty. Everyone loves this dress and I always get lots of compliments. It felt like the right day for that for me.

I would makes a stop at the dollar store before I went to the wedding. I grabbed a small frame and a snack. Paid was $4 and went over to the museum where I was able to briefly see my husband and get a hug. I love them so much.

I'm just getting to my car now after the wedding. And man was tonight busy. It was very exciting in many different ways. But honestly I had a great time. For being probably one of the last events were all three of us will be there I had a really wonderful time and I really hope that we can have more shifts just in general because I really love doing the weddings and I want to continue to do events. Maybe I'll even look into doing events at other locations. We'll see.

After James left I really jumped into my conversation with Merrill about what was up and what I needed to know and all that kind of stuff. And I had been there for the rehearsal yesterday so I kind of had a brief and fleeting idea of what was going to happen at this wedding. And we would pretty much kill it. There was definitely some problems. specifically two medical emergencies. Someone passed out hit their head on the ground and we thought they had a seizure. And then someone else threw their back out so hard they were in tears. So I was getting people ice packs and wheelchairs. My first day training really kicked in in those moments. I was very calm and I was able to help as much as possible but there was also a few people who were there that were nurses so I was also deferring to them and I felt very helpful and that was nice.

The wedding though was beautiful just it was very quick. I feel like some people's ceremonies are 45 minutes and others are 10. This was more like a 15 minute but it was really nice and the dog was involved which is always fun. And people were cheering and just really happy. We were sitting at the front desk after ushering people in and making sure that there was no one getting in pictures that weren't supposed to be there. And it was just really nice.

me and maril would act as educators for the evening. I was doing the first half and she did the second half and honestly I could have done the entire thing and had a blast. Because once I got people to come back and listen to me I was working the crowd and telling my stories and jokes and just really loving it. And just having so much fun just talking about history. And I think that's something that I miss sometimes because I just know those stories so well that it's just nice to fall back into. And I think that I really did a great job tonight and made the guests learn something but also just have a lot of fun.

There was also kids at this wedding and they were really cool and were dressed really awesome and I just thought that was really nice that I was able to connect with them as well. Once Merrill took over I had to like completely disengage and walk away because I want to share more stuff but I don't want to walk on her toes. So I went to go find Jesse and I ate a bunch of deviled eggs which were very good. And that's when the medical emergencies all happened. So I was busy busy busy for a little bit there. And just periodically checking on them throughout the night. Making sure that they were okay and feeling better. We did not call an ambulance for our friend who passed out per request. But honestly I feel like we might have benefited from that. I just thought it was funny that it was the guest that yesterday at the rehearsal told me he was going to cause the most problems at the wedding. So it was something I could bring up later on to him and made him laugh so I hope that he's feeling okay.

The rest of the evening was great. A lot of just talking to people wandering around checking on stuff. There wasn't much I could eat at dinner so I was glad that I had multiple deviled eggs. And much later than we expected we were able to have cake. And it was pretty good. The raspberry one was better than the chocolate. The chocolate's one's icing was not great. It was a little too sweet and gritty in texture. But I was just having a great time talking to Meryl and Jesse and joking and being silly. It was a really really nice event and the couple was awesome. I had come in with my frame ready to print and I made three copies of the print for them. And framed it up all nice. And was able to put it on their card table and I even saw the photographers taking pictures of it and that made me feel very good. I am very glad that I was able to make that for them and I hope that I can keep doing that in the future.

After cake Merrill went home. And me and Jesse would hang out for a while. I talked to Mark our security guard for a bit. He told me some of his backstory and lower. Turns out he was paralyzed for 2 years and in a wheelchair. This came up because after our medical emergencies gave the wheelchairs back I was sitting at one at the front desk. And just kind of rolling myself in a circle for a bit. Which led to me telling him about my dad and I really feel like the imputation, while was very hard on him emotionally, is really for the best in the long run and I think that he will be able to heal and get some of his life back. Even though he is going to be 70 years old he still has multiple decades left that I require him to be alive. And I want him to be having the best life possible so I'm really glad that that talking about that with other people that have family members ( Mark told me that his sister and his niece are both amputees ) are thriving and living with a similar injury is something that I am glad that I can hear from other people.

The last 2 hours of my night was organizing with the caters and making sure that things were getting cleaned the way they were supposed to be. And making sure that I knew where things were supposed to go. Thankfully I already know where a lot of it goes so it really is just me get it gusty to say things out loud so that I am positive that I understand. I am still very uncomfortable with some of the light switches for some reason but I am doing my best to not let them flex me. It is difficult at times.

So I was turning on and off the same lights because I was a little confused about a few of them. And then I ended up missing that there was a puddle on the ground and we had to send the caterers back to finish cleaning. But it was like not a huge deal and it was good for me to practice. I kept saying that I had failed us as a team as a pair of Jesse's.

Caterers were great though. There was some communication stuff that was a little wonky but they were totally down to do their job and we were all just ready to get out of there but we wanted to leave the space nice.

While we were going through checking the lights Jesse gets a phone call from the event planner. The groom had lost his suit jacket somewhere at the wedding and he apparently remembered that they had gone on the roof! No one supposed to go up there! So Jesse went up to explore to see if we could find the suit jacket but I felt like he was up there for a long time. So for the first time I went up on the roof. And I found he was talking to someone who was sitting up in our lights. And apparently this is that person's special spot and I thought that was so funny and so cute. I am glad that they were super chill and they're like we just want to have a nice time and we don't want to ruin anything and we were like cool. We won't lock you in. So we did see them off at the very end of the night but it was pretty funny.

After we finished turning all the lights off Jesse told me that we needed to deal with the gates and I was like cool can do. But then the gate was stuck and then I noticed that the farmer's market sign was still out there and that was a little confusing. So I carried that back to France so that it can get put away in the morning. And then it was time for me to go home. I said goodbye to Mark. That's a good night to Jesse. And then I headed home.

And that's where I am now. I am going to go inside and I'm going to get ready for bed and then go to sleep. James went to bed like an hour ago. And tomorrow I'm going to drive up to meet with Jess and we're going to go to antique stores and I'm really looking forward to spending time with her. I just hope that it is a beautiful day. I hope that you all have a great time and hope the weather is nice. Sleep well everyone. Until next time.

[starlight-writes-stuff]

hey! i sent in the ask for the party fic with ethan (which was so good holy shit) and i was hoping you could do the SFW alphabet for him? can I be ⚙️ anon, as well? (get it?)

⚙️anon (thats so clever ily for it) , welcome !! im sorry this took me forever , but here’s your sfw alphabet - this came so easy to me i spend too much time consuming ethan content - anyway ! i really hope you enjoy this ((: reblogs are always appreciated <3

AYO LOOK AT THESE : soft , fluffy ethan content , no tws ! also , yall rockin with the new blog theme ⁉️

a = affection (how affectionate are they? how do they show affection?)

ethan is incredibly affectionate in all senses of the word- big gestures, small moments, and everything in between. he brings you flowers or food quite often, just something small to show you that you were on his mind while he was out and about. you two would have a designated date night once a week where he’d clear his schedule to spend quality time with you; either taking you out to dinner or cooking and watching movies at home with spencer. also, ethan would definitely go out of his way to do little things around the house to help you out - washing the dishes, vacuuming, folding the laundry. however, ethan wouldn’t shy away from larger gestures of affection, either: he’d take you on surprise vacations or road trips for holidays or anniversaries. 

b = best friend (what would they be like as a best friend? how would the friendship start?)

being ethan’s best friend would be so much fun. he’s definitely the kind of guy that would send you a text when he was 10 minutes away from your house because he was bored and wanted to go do something together. you’d never be bored around ethan- he can talk for hours, and would 100% know how to make you laugh, even if the two of you were just chilling on the couch. a friendship with ethan would be filled with adventures; concerts, midnight snack runs, campouts in the backyard and lots of fun with spencer. 

c = cuddles (do they like to cuddle? how would they cuddle?)

yes, 100%. thinking back to unus annus, ethan was a vvv touchy guy with mark, and i think that would only be amplified with his significant other- touch is one of his love languages, for sure. he’d be the type to always have some soft of physical connection; a hand on your thigh while he drives, mindlessly drawing patterns over your skin while your working, aways holding your hand in public type beat. if ethan wasn’t getting your attention when he wanted it he, would not hesitate to pick you up over his shoulder and carry you to the closest soft surface before plopping you down and wrapping you in his arms. i think he’s probably a fan of having you laying on your side, facing him so that he can hold you, but still see your face/ talk to you. he’d also love laying on your chest because he’s such a boob guy but that’s a conversation for another time ,,,,,

d = domestic (do they want to settle down? how are they at cooking and cleaning?)

i think that if you and ethan were committed and had been dating for a while than he would absolutely want to settle down- but i feel like dating ethan would also include being around each other all the time (constant sleepovers while you aren't living together) so it wouldn’t be that drastic of a change. while he was living on his own, though, ethan obviously had to take care of himself, so he taught himself to cook and clean and do general, domestic tasks. i think he’d be a really good partner when it came to things around the house like that; ethan would always do his fair share and would pick up anything that you needed him to. 

e = ending (if they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

ethan just comes off as a very feeling, sensitive person (his brand is literally soft boy what do u expect), so i think breakups would be really hard for him. he wouldnt break up with his s/o until he was 10000000% positive that it as the right choice, and had thought through it multiple times. even then, it would rip his heart out to end things- he wouldn’t be afraid to show his emotions. ethan would definitely break up with whoever he was dating in person- he knows that he owes them that.

f = fiance(e) (how do they feel about commitment? how quick would they want to get married?)

okay, this one is up in the air for me. i definitely feel like ethan would settle down with his person and be completely loyal to them- thats a no brainer. i just don’t know how he feels about marriage? i feel like ethan wants a life partner, i just dont know if he would marry them. (this could 1792049384% be my personal bias peeking through because i think marriage is fkn weird, but for some reason i think he would too ????? maybe thats just me)

g = gentle (how gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

ethan is just ,,,,, soft hearted, dude. he’s just gentle in general. i think emotionally he’s a total teddybear, and he feels all his emotions incredibly deep- he rules with his heart, for sure. he wants to make sure that everyone around him is happy, and if they arent, it would affect him more than he’d like to admit. physically, ethan can vary- like i said, he’s always touching you in some way, but i think he’d be down for getting a little rougher in bed when you guys want to. 

h = hugs (do they like hugs? how often do they do it? what are their hugs like?)

ethan is an envelope-the-whole-ass-person kinda hugger, hug-with-your-whole-body type deal. if you look at pictures from unus annus, even old old pictures from the tour he did w/ mark, ethan is always completely wrapped around someone, hugging them with everything in him. i think if his s/o was shorter, he’d love to stack his head on top of theirs, and if y’all were around the same height, he’d bury his face in your neck. he’s very huggy- when you’re out and about, he’s always hugging you from behind, pulling your body closer to his. i also think ethan would love koala hugs, where he was sitting and his s/o wraps their arms and legs around him- he’d sit like that forever, rubbing up and down your back.

i = i love you (how fast do they say the l-word?)

hhhhhhhhhh don't clock me for this one, yall- if ethan was feeling some type of way, he would tell you. i don't think the length of the relationship would matter as much to him as the intensity and depth of his feelings; if ethan really truly loved you and wanted to say it, he would. he’d definitely preface it with the fact that you didn’t have to say it back, that he just wanted to get it on the table and out of his head. 

j = jealousy (how jealous do they get? what do they do when they’re jealous?)

ethan would be very secure in his relationships, and i think it would take a lot to get him jealous. however, when he was,,,,,,,, it wouldnt be pretty. like, at all. if it was a situation where someone was hitting on his s/o, he wouldn’t step in until you’d already tried to get them to leave you alone- not because he didn’t want to, but because he knew that if he did, it would get ugly. when he did step in, he’d start by saying something (not kindly worded, but to the point), and if that didn’t work i don’t think ethan would be above getting physical- he’s extremely protective of you. 

k = kisses (what are their kisses like? where do they like to kiss you? where do they like to be kissed?)

I THINK ABOUT THIS A LOT AND I HAVE SO MANY THINGS I'D LIKE TO SAY SO THIS ONE’S GOIN IN BULLET POINTS , GANG

okay- ethan loves to kiss you. he just loves kisses- they feel so personal and intimate to him, and he kisses you all the time, everywhere

he’ll dip you and kiss you in the middle of the grocery store aisles, he dgaf

but i think his favorite spots for kissing you would be your forehead, your lips (duh), collarbones/shoulders, down your spine and on your inner thighs hngggggg

but it goes vice versa too

ethan wants ALL your kisses . all of them , everywhere

He’s such a sucker for you kissing his neck and you cant talk me out of that (:

l = little ones (how are they around children?)

cute. literally so cute. i think that ethan would love other people’s kids, but definitely doesn’t want any of his own- at least, not right now. however, with other people’s babies he is S O F T; he loves to hold them, and would absolutely offer to try and calm a crying baby down, rocking them and singing soft lullabies to calm their woes. i also think that he would LOVE toddler aged kiddos- like 3-6. he’d be cool uncle ethan, playing catch with them, taking them to the park, finding games to play and always letting them win. he’d totally try to teach them how to ride their bike, or how to do a cartwheel, or how to jump off the swings for maximum height. ethan would totally bring them a fun lunch at school or sneak the kid’s favorite candy over to them and eat it together in a secret spot.

m = morning (how are mornings spent with them?)

mornings with ethan would be slow and lazy and filled with golden light filtering in through the blinds. if he woke up first, ethan would be as soft as humanly possible in order not to wake you up & would sneak downstairs to make coffee and start breakfast for the two of you, sometimes bringing it up to surprise you with breakfast in bed. the two of you would spend an hour (at minimum) in bed together, waking up and peppering each other with soft pecks all over. i think ethan would be extra soft™ in the mornings- he’d be super cuddly and affectionate. 

n = night (how are nights spent with them?)

nights spent with ethan would always hold a sort of unexplainable magic- there’s something about the thought of falling asleep next to him thats just so… comforting? he’d be so warm and easy to fall asleep with, all soft and hazy and gentle; he’d fall asleep holding you as big spoon, but when y’all woke up he’d be wrapped in your arms, laying on your chest. also, if you were having a hard time falling asleep, ethan would stay up with you, talking through whatever was on your mind even if he was barely able to keep his eyes open. 

o = open (when would they start revealing things about themselves? do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

i think that ethan would open up more and more as the relationship progresses, going along with the natural advancement of things unless something happened that made it crucial for him to open up; if that did happen, though, you wouldn’t have to pry anything out of him. ethan is a pretty honest, open person and wants to be transparent with you always- trust is something that he values above all else and he wants to remain very truthful with you.

p = patience (how easily angered are they?)

ethan is incredibly patient and understanding- it would take a lot to truly upset him. sure, the two of you would get into little tiffs here and there about stupid things, but the small arguments would be resolved within the hour with lots of hugs and kisses and soft “im sorry”s. however, if yall managed to get into a big argument, i think it would take ethan a bit to calm down and he would want to put some space between you two while he did- not to anger you any further, but to make sure that he didn’t say anything he didn't mean. ethan has a bit of a temper while he’s angry, and he wouldn’t want to say anything just to hurt you out of anger. after he cooled off he would come back and be willing to re-examine whatever had caused the issue with fresh eyes. 

q = quizzes (how much would they remember about you? do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

if you’ve watched ethan ever, you know that the sweet bby doesn’t remember shit (cue the instagram live thats purpose was to help him remember a word)- but listen. i think that ethan would go out of his way to hold on to little pieces of information about his s/o, and would put so much effort into trying to remember little details. he’d store them in his brain (things like your favorite flower, the brand of chocolate you like best, etc) and reference them when he needed. 

r = remember (what is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

a couple moments would stick out to ethan - when y’all first met being his favorite. he’d remember every detail of the moment he was first introduced to you; what you were wearing, where you were, what y’all had been doing that night. it was something that he though about a lot, actually- he loved to reflect on the way you’d blushed as he’d introduced himself, how you’d hugged him at the end of the night. 

s = security (how protective are they? how would they protect you? how would they like to be protected?)

ethan isn't possessive, but he is incredibly protective of you. he secretly hates whenever someone flirts with you, even if it’s strictly platonic- you're his s/o, and he doesn't want anyone thinking any different. like i said earlier (reference letter j), ethan wouldn’t be afraid to step in and put someone in their place of they were getting a little too friendly. he likes when you’re protective of him as well, even if its something very subtle to show that he’s spoken for, such as calling him a nickname or dropping a kiss on his cheek.

t = try (how much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

romantic ethan my belOVED- he would try so hard. ethan would plan surprises for you for weeks before they would unfold, even roping your family and friends into his schemes. He’d be so creative with date ideas too; picnics, art classes, different seasonal excursions around california. For bigger occasions like anniversaries, holidays, birthdays and all that, ethan wouldn’t hesitate to go bigger- i definitely think he would take you traveling. he wants to see the world with his love :,)

u = ugly (what would be some bad habits of theirs?)

ethan bites his nails, which is why he’d had you paint them- he’s trying to break the habit

he’s a very sweary human, but so are you; the only issue is he has no filter and accidentally swears in front of kids all the time lmao

v = vanity (how concerned are they with their looks?)

eh. ethan is more particular about certain aspects of his appearance over others, but he’s generally well put together. he likes for his hair to look good, though- that’s the one thing that he’s picky about. 

w = whole (would they feel incomplete without you?)

ethan is his own person and is able to function on his own, but the two of you have developed a sense of codependency with each other, like any couple does. he can’t see his life without you at all anymore, and would much rather have you around than not. the two of you have fallen into a flow together- you and him against the world. life is much easier when you have another person on your team, and he’s honored that he gets to play that role for you. 

x = xtra (a random headcanon for them.)

(this may or may not be a lil hint to a fic i'm working on shshhshshhhhhhhh)

on the night unus annus ended, ethan was a wreck - rightfully so

he had a bit of an existential crisis , and started to spiral a bit

you were worried about him , and knew that he would just continue to get into his own head

so you got him out of bed

and took him on a v special date

thats all for now ;)

y = yuck (what are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

ethan wouldn't like smoking (nicotine), and if that was a habit that you were willing to budge on, he would really try to help you break it. 

overall, ethan is a very considerate and kind person, so someone that was rude or had a sense of entitlement just wouldn’t fit well with him.

z = zzz (what is a sleep habits of theirs?)

ethan can’t fall asleep without background noise. his brain gets too loud when he’s just in bed in complete silence, for better or for worse; sometimes this leads to great video ideas or new concepts for the channel, but other times it just lead to him overthinking his life. when it was that kind of night, ethan would fall asleep to soft music or one of those white noise apps- then he became dependent on it to be able to fall asleep. something about filler noise managed to calm him right down and lull him to sleep, and he pays $5 a month for the premium version of his favorite white noise app.

[burgermiester]

Stella Glow Review

(spoiler-free)

Stella Glow is a tactical turn based RPG with visual novel/dating sim elements for the Nintendo 3DS.  It was originally released in Japan on June 4th 2015 and arrived in the US on November 17 of the same year.  It was the final game made by developer Imageepoch.  I picked up the game shortly after it released in the US, I even got the special edition.  But despite that, I never really played for more than a couple of hours until a few weeks ago.  As of this writing I have beaten the game once and am pretty far into new game plus, so I think I have seen enough of the game to give an accurate review.

Before I go any further I need to mention that I will be comparing this game quite a bit to Fire Emblem.  Ordinarily I get a little bit grumpy when people get too comparison happy between Fire Emblem and isometric TRPGS like Stella Glow (or FF Tactics, Disgaea, Tactics Ogre) or say things like “if you like FE you will like FF Tactics!” because even though they are both technically in the same genre, the huge emphasis on height, directional combat, magic and skills using mana, turn order calculated by unit, and battles being between smaller numbers of stronger units, isometric TRPGs usually have a completely different game feel from Fire Emblem.  While this is still mostly true for the actual combat, the gameplay in Stella Glow is split between mission segments where you have the main story and tactical combat and free time segments where you have an affinity building conversation/relationship system.  So while Fire Emblem (specifically Awakening and Fates) and Stella Glow both have their genre listed as “turn based rpg” on Wikipedia, I wouldnt be surprised to learn that most players of both are playing more for the romance.  Add on to this the fact that virtually every playable character (and all but one of the prominent NPCs) in the English version is voiced by someone who also voices a Fire Emblem character (including Matthew Mercer as one of the principle characters) and its hard to not to think about Fire Emblem when you play it. Plus most if not all of my followers are Fire Emblem enthusiasts, so hopefully this will help you decide if Stella Glow is the game for you.

Story, Characters, and Affinity System:

Stella Glow follows a young man named Alto as he joins the knights of the kingdom of Regnant to find the witches of water, wind, fire, and earth so they can save the world from Hilda, the witch of destruction. In the world of Stella Glow witches are the only people who have the ability to sing, and within both the narrative and gameplay the witches songs have special effects (this also cant help but make me think of Tokyo Mirage Sessions, but theres not much to say except that I like TMS songs on the whole more than the ones from Stella Glow, but theres some good ones in Stella Glow.)  I cant say that anything about the main narrative is particularly new or shocking or memorable, but it serves its purpose.  You’ll probably want to keep doing the main story to meet more characters more than to see what happens, but near the end I got pretty invested in the narrative.  The biggest thing the story has going for it is the characters.  There are 16 playable characters, and with the exception of the final (and only optional one) they are all involved in main story scenes. Alto and the witches and a few others do drive the plot more and thus get more dialogue than some others, but the whole cast still speaks up pretty regularly.  This is quite refreshing compared to FE where outside of supports, only a handful of characters get to participate in the story.  I wouldnt say that FE should switch to doing a cast size this small because I like the replayability that comes from using hugely different unit composition between playthroughs, but its still nice to see in a non-FE game and with 16 characters and maps that let you field 6 units you still get a bit of the feeling that you are choosing your army based on the characters you like. 

And you will probably like a lot of these characters. The character designs are bright and fun and they are written and acted fairly well and there is an affinity system that lets you get to know them all even better.  When you compare Stella Glow’s affinity system with Awakening and Fates’ support system there are upsides and downsides to each.  The biggest downside to Stella Glow’s system is that, in a very visual novel sort of way, affinity building is only between Alto and the other characters, whereas in FE the whole cast can talk to each other.  The trade-off is that there are a lot more of these conversations and they will last for most of the game unlike in FE where its not uncommon to meet a character and be married with children in under an hour.  So I apreciate the added depth longer lasting relationships gives, but I do wish I could have seen the more colorful characters talk to each other as opposed to just Alto who, like the Avatars of FE, is written with a pretty minimal, deliberately inoffensive personality.

From a romantic perspective the longer lasting relationships are mostly a good thing but with one big downside.  FE struggles to make the romance organic, since characters can get up to A support with anyone, relationships are usually platonic right up until marriage.  In Stella Glow the romance grows much more organically, but as the game goes on and Alto gets into increasingly romantic situations with the female characters it feels more and more like a harem anime.  I know thats an instant turn-off to a lot of people and its one of the reasons I kept dropping the game for so long, but I personally am glad I stuck with it because the characters and their struggles are interesting and memorable.  I sighed at a few parts for sure but it was worth it for the rest of the experience.  Building affinity also gives gameplay bonuses: either passive abilities, new skills, or new songs (for the witches.)  For me these are more exciting than the raw stat pair-up bonuses in Awakening and Fates because the effects are more varied and personalized. 

Combat:

I have less FE comparisons here, as I said before isometric tprgs like this feel very different from FE.  If you have played something like FF Tactics then you should be very familiar with how this game plays.  Turn order doesnt alternate from all allies to all enemies, but rather one at a time where faster units will go sooner and more often than slower ones.  You do more damage if you hit enemies from behind and they do the same to you.  Theres no permadeath, you only fail a chapter if you fail the main objective, which is usually just to not let Alto die.  On the whole I’d say this game is pretty easy; I had to replay one chapter 4 times before I beat it but aside from that I had maybe 3 chapters I had to reset.  There are optional objectives for each fight and going for them can make the game harder but it is mostly for your own satisfaction as the rewards are rarely noteworthy.  The main thing that sets it apart from other similar trpgs is the song meter and song system.  As you fight with any character a song meter fills up (up to 5 times) and you can expend the meters to do a special attack (usually costs 1-2 meters) or have them sing (usually costs 4-5)  which will have an effect on the whole battlefield, depending on the song its a buff or heal to all allies, a debuff to all enemies, or an attack on all enemies, or some combination.  Songs last for a few turns and during that time the witch cant do anything else.  The whole system is pretty fun.  Of all the isometric trpgs I have played, I liked the combat in Stella Glow the second most; only Jeanne d’Arc I find more fun to play. 

Presentation and Final Thoughts:

Overall the game has pretty good presentation.  Its got that typical jrpg look and sound to it, but its got enough of its own style that it doesnt feel generic.  In battle it switches to a chibi style, which isnt my favorite thing in the world but it still looks good.  The animations remind me a lot of the GBA FE games, they are super over the top but they are also the same everytime, which for me means they get turned off pretty quickly even though they are pretty nice.  Thats about the only quality of life setting the game has, by the way.  Skipping enemy actions isnt a thing so youll unfortuntely spend a lot of time waiting for the enemies to do something, or even more frustrating, waiting for them to do nothing, as you will oftentimes see enemies who dont move until you aggro them, yet you still must wait for them to wait before another unit can go.  The music is nice, a quick look at the composers wikipedia page shows that he did a couple of songs for a few beloved games like Chrono Trigger, Xenoblade Chronicles, and Kid Icarus Uprising.  The game also has a new game plus.  In the new game plus only your money carries over but the big draw is the free time sections are longer which lets you do the affinity conversations for every single character and the exp formula is modified to let you level up more easily.  I dont normally play new game pluses, so to me the fact that I was so eager to jump right back in to learn more about the rest of the characters is proof that this was a good game. 

If you decide to purchase this game for yourself, the physical launch edition comes with a CD containing 5 songs, the first song of each witch, as well as a cloth poster of Hilda and a particularly large keychain of Bubu, a little pig who I guess is something of a mascot but honestly its barely in the game which is why I havent mentioned it until now. If you get the digital version I think it comes with a 3DS theme.  Its currently ~$30 online or $40 on the eshop, and if any of this has made you interested there is a demo on the eShop.  I hope you do decide to check it out because I found Stella Glow to be a very fun and enjoyable game.  As I type this I am downloading the demo for Disgaea 5 on Switch to give that game a try next, so not only was Stella Glow a ton of fun but it got me interested in isometric trpgs again. 

[comicteaparty]

April 18th, 2019 CTP Archive

The archive for the Comic Tea Party chat that occurred on April 18th, 2019, from 5PM - 7PM PDT.  The chat focused on The Carpet Merchant of Konstantiniyya by Reimena Yee; Edited by Atla Hrafney.

Featured Comment:

Chat:

RebelVampire

COMIC TEA PARTY- THURSDAY BOOK CLUB START!

Good evening, everyone~! This week’s Thursday Book Club is officially beginning! Today we are discussing The Carpet Merchant of Konstantiniyya by Reimena Yee; Edited by Atla Hrafney~! (https://reimenayee.com/the-carpet-merchant-of-konstantiniyya/)

Remember that Thursday discussions are completely freeform! However, every 30 minutes I will drop in OPTIONAL discussion questions in case you’d like a bit of a prompt. If you miss out on one of these prompts, you can find them pinned for the chat’s duration. Additionally, remember that while constructive criticism is allowed, our focus is fun and respectfully appreciating the comic. All that said, let’s begin!

QUESTION 1. What is your favorite scene in the comic so far and why?

my favorite scene is definitely the one where zeynel sneaks off in the middle of the night after eating the cat to go pray. i love this scene for how emotionally raw it is. like this is somewhat being stripped and presented at their most desperate and vulnerable, and every part of the scene shows that. while at the same time, it has a good balance of feeling sort of mystical and expressing zeynel's faith through the choice in visuals and how many of the panels are composed together.

another of my favorite scenes is the end of volume 2 where certain ppl kick the bucket. it too was a powerful scene in terms of emotion and vulnerability, and another moment where i truly felt like the character in question was being their truest selves without the layers that ppl build up to protect themselves. not to mention i appreciate the bittersweetness of how it played out and how kindness kind of won in the end.

mathtans

Heeeey there. So, I kinda screwed this one up. Because normally when I reach the navigation page, I hit "FIRST". Aaaand... yeah, that wasn't the Carpet story. There's apparently a whole lot of other stories that come first. I was very confused, and this was a busy week. I figured it out half an hour ago and am reading now.

RebelVampire

oh dear. thats a lot worse than i was assuming too cause i knew the other comic was interspersed between the first and second volume. but now im glad i was vague in that last answer XD

mathtans

I was surprised it had been running since 2013 and then I noticed the artist had said they started it in 2016 in their kickstarter and derp. So I'll just kinda thumbs up stuff as I spot it.

reimena

If it makes it easier; here are the ebook versions of Volume I and II

Vol I: https://reimenayee.itch.io/the-carpet-merchant-voli Vol II: https://reimenayee.itch.io/the-carpet-merchant-volii

mathtans

Oh, hello author. Thanks.

(And now I must go tend to the wee one.)

RebelVampire

let's see then in the meantime. i loved the first scene where we see zeynel plying his trade and selling a carpet. like the scene immediately paints a picture for the visuals and draws you in with them. and the visuals are consistently beautiful throughout the comic.

but by contrast, i also appreciate the scene later on in the second volume where Mora wtfs Zeynel just taking the insults and Zeynel explains how its part of the job etc. etc. It was interesting to see this other take on his job and that not everything about selling carpets is all that fun and even if youre a cool vampire, sometimes you gotta swallow your pride and accept customers being dumbasses.

mathtans

Back-ish. Oh yes, the visuals are amazing. Not just the carpet patterns either. Even the sheep were different.

Lots of neat cultural stuff too.

RebelVampire

what i appreciate i think is the character of the backgrounds. cause a lot of them have what im going to describe as this splash effect. and while it may not always have anything to do with whats in the main panels and is mostly there to not be white space, i feel they always add great atmosphere to each individual page.

yeah i really adored the culture stuff. this is definitely not a heavily featured culture in comics so it was super interesting to get to see it.

though i also appreciate later zeynel's ability to just kind of meld into different cultures. cause it really gives the opportunity to compare, contrast, and appreciate

one thing i also want to say in regards to culture is that i also appreciate that the comic balances having unique culture features while still telling a story that is really universal to anybody. so you dont need to have some deep specific connection to the culture in order to appreciate the story in its fullest

QUESTION 2. One of the comic’s central themes is related to stories and story-telling. Overall, what do you personally think the comic is saying about the importance of stories in our lives? Of the fables that were juxtaposed to the main narrative, which one captured your imagination the most? How did you feel it related to what we were seeing in the story? In what ways did you see stories affect the lives of the characters within the story? Additionally, what did you make of Zeynel’s explanation about each carpet having a story within it? How do you think this applies to the works we see in our own lives? In total, how has the comic changed the way you see stories and how they shape our lives?

mathtans

Okay, little one's settled back in the crib, more fully back now.

Yeah, the story seems universal (from what I've gathered so far, with the two families). So it's more a bonus, the phrases and references and things.

RebelVampire

ill tackle the second question first. my favorite fable juxtaposed to the main narrative was Karagoz and Hacivat. there were a lot of reasons this juxtaposition really worked for me. first off, its premise of being a show that zeynel was watching i think somewhat helped build a feeling of nostalgia. like because the show was in the past, it helps illustrate how far away zeynel is from that. however, i think it further helps set up the idea of culture clashing. and predictively shows that both sides kind of have a negative and specific view of the opposing culture. so when these come up in the story, they help paint a particular perspective regarding them. and kind of force us as the readers to recognize that both sides have their biases as zeynel adjusts to life in different places.

mathtans

I know the feeling of being a better listener than talking about oneself. (Just as I'm reading, not sure if that necessarily relates to the stories idea.)

RebelVampire

in terms of the importance of stories, i feel like the comic was overall trying to say that stories help us connect to the world around us. and i kind of think this is represented with young zeynel. cause he sucks at talking about himself, but tells and listens to stories to connect with others. and this is how he bonds with people, learns about the world, and somehow down the line eventually learns about himself.

reimena

I do have thoughts of the intention behind the Karagoz and Hacivat scene, but I'll wait until everyone's done typing! (unless you want it now)

RebelVampire

you may go ahead since math definitely wouldnt be close to that one. participate as you would like

mathtans

I agree with what Rebel said, both about the bonding and learning through stories, and about the do your thing and don't wait for me, I'm a slow reader in general.

reimena

Haha I'm just lurking (doing other things while keeping this discord open). Only dropping in when necessary. (I appreciate all of the discussion though! <3)

mathtans

There's some really good non-dialogue panelling as Zeynel is opening himself up to the merchant life.

reimena

With the Karagoz and Hacivat story, it was meant to act as first, a parallel to Zeynel and Mora (with Zeynel being Hacivat, and Mora being Karagoz). Second, a subversion of the Other. Since Vol II is a jab at Orientalism, I thought it would be fun to have characters who are normally seen as "Other" to call out the Western world as their "Other".

Muslims both in the past and the present have always been constructed as monstrous or barbaric in Europe. Very rarely in a visual medium's critique of Orientalism do I see the opposite. Especially in the context of the era the comic is set in.

RebelVampire

i definitely appreciate the subversion of the "Other" then if it was intentional

reimena

Which explains the European wooden puppets at the end. The costumes, the white facepaint and blush, and the 3D construction of the design. Those are European. And they look rather jarring and out of place in a book that's mostly visually Ottoman.

mathtans

I was a little worried about how Zeynel's parents would react to his independence. It felt spot-on in the end, in particular the embrace and such, I'm glad he managed it. (Then fainting, hah.)

RebelVampire

this is true, their design really is odd compared to the rest and it did make me wtf for a moment admittedly. but i also definitely thought it made sense in the context

zeynel's parents reaction surprised the heck out of me, but probably in the good way

usually when you have overbearing parents, you expect them to be stubborn and not able to be persuaded. and yet here they were not and i thought that was a nice variety.

mathtans

Yeah, I was wondering about that, but the conditional acceptance worked for me.

Oh, well, the next sequence is a kick to the heart for me.

reimena

That's because they really love Zeynel. It's more overprotectiveness than being stubborn

mathtans

Speaking as someone with infertility issues in the family, ouch. Captured well though.

RebelVampire

QUESTION 3. Though much of the comic is about stories, there is also a lot of focus given to defining ourselves and achieving our dreams. Between Zeynel and Ayşe, which character’s struggle with their future path did you identify with most? What about it made it compelling? What do you think the comic shows and says about the way we define ourselves and pursue our dreams as it relates to others? Further, the narrative somewhat creates an identity crisis for Zeynel when he becomes a djinni/vampire. What part of his transformation did you find most compelling in his reaction towards it? What do you think we can learn from the comic in regards to moments like this where who we are changes? Is there anything else you’d like to mention in regards to identity and the comic?

i think i identified most with zeynel in regards to the future path struggle. cause ive been there with zeynel where you dont know what to do. and then you encounter ppl like Ayşe who just are 100% of what they want to do. and it can be an intimidating experience that makes you feel more lost sometimes, which i do think at first kind of happened. mostly cause zeynel really opened up and laid everything bare after some pressuring and i think its because Ayşe caused those emotions to reverberate more strongly than ever.

mathtans

Yeah, I've never really been clear on where I'm going, but I'm highly organized in the moment. Then there's those times when I know where I'm going (start a family) and reality just kicks you from behind and says you need to adapt those plans.

RebelVampire

yeah. but ultimately what i found about zeynel's struggle was how we were shown how he overcame it. in that he found something interesting that he was good at and decided to give it a try against all he was taught. but that it was something he did with those around him supporting him. and i think in a large way this is part of what the comic shows about defining ourselves. that in essence we are defined somewhat by the people around us, such as how zeynel's parents picked his career or how Ayşe herself was defined by her family's occupation. but at the same time changing how we see ourselves is made a lot easier when those around us who originally helped define us support explorations into other areas.

mathtans

Yeah, Zeynel also got a lot better at talking about himself. (I'm at the part where he heads off, runs into a guy and is suddenly telling him all about himself and carpets.)

RebelVampire

its easier to talk about yourself when youre proud of what you do

i really enjoyed how zeynel's vampire situation kind of goes through a lot of the stages of grief. though not all with zeynel either. cause i think denial hit Ayşe a lot, lot harder. but i think it played out really well because of that since his reaction felt extremely realistic.

and i love how hard they tried to make it work before hitting that acceptance stage

but all together i think the comic shows us that sometimes we do change, its sad, but we have to accept it cause no matter how hard we may try to make something work, the reality is it doesnt always

mathtans

I'm at the transformation part. That's rough. Some stuff you can just write off, but then reality hits you once again... and yeah, I agree Rebel, reality can be at odds with what we want or believe.

Interesting how the tavern guy, while being a jerk, still had an element of sympathy to him, what with his history.

RebelVampire

i felt bad for tavern guy. cause he was definitely a jerk, but at the same time all i can think of is how this poor guy will be found and no one will know who the murderer was. and maybe therell be a vague description of some out of town dude showing up. but then nothing cause this isnt modern day and its not like they have forensics or security survellaince footage.

mathtans

Yeah. Though I guess he did kinda want death, just earlier when he was with the sultan... his reality didn't work out either.

RebelVampire

it certainly did not.

i like to think tavern dude was the showcase of what happens when you choose to define yourself with anger and revenge

mathtans

Perhaps he wanted to beat someone up and figured an out-of-towner was better than someone who might have relatives nearby.

The night imagery when he goes back home is very effective

RebelVampire

that is probably true cause that scene made me marvel about how if you killed for self defense, the best course of action probably is to just run the heck away. cause like, who are you going to tell? and what is the liklihood those you tell are going to believe you that it was self defense? cause if i was like some town guard and some out-of-towner said to me "nah dude it was totally self defense" i might be like "idk man that sounds suspicious"

QUESTION 4. Much of the second volume focuses on the character of Mora and Zeynel’s affect on him. Overall, what is your opinion on Mora? Do you feel Zeynel handled the situation correctly, or would you have done it differently? Why do you think Zeynel had the affect he did on Mora? Do you feel Mora’s regrets at the end redeemed him, or do you feel that he had done too much damage by this point? Do you think Zeynel was sincere in saying that he would try and start forgiving Mora at the end? In essence, what do you think Zeynel and Mora’s story together says about good and bad people? Additionally, what is your take away in regards to the themes of redemption and forgiveness? What in the comic made you feel this way?

i love mora because he is a conflicted, murderous teddy bear who got dealt the worst hand in life.

and i think zeynel handled the situation 100% correctly. because i think that played into a large reason why he has an affect on mora. cause i think its relevant to even the scene where we first see mora. in that mora is flat out just not used to kindness. and that she be shown kindness reminds mora that not everyone are the people who were awful to him in his past.

mathtans

I don't think I'll get that far. Ayse is taking this better than I thought she would.

RebelVampire

honestly i didnt know what to expect for how Ayşe would take it. i was legit as nervous as zeynel about it. cause this is an unbelievable situation where you have to ask a person to 1) believe youre now a supernatural creature and 2) be okay with the fact that you sorta murdered someone, even if out of self defense

but i enjoyed i didnt know what to expect

cause it helped put me in zeynel's shoes

mathtans

Yeah, I kinda thought she'd let him go and try to find a cure or something. But in the story she told, I guess she still needs him as a constant in her life.

It's kind of regressed Zeynel back to the point where he's not sure who he is any more, or what he wants. Before it was his family affecting him, now it's this inner demon.

RebelVampire

since you wont be to that volume i wont dwell on it, but i do want to finish the last set of questions off by saying i do feel mora earned his redemption in a sense. not in the lets all forgiveness sort of way, but in the sense he finally took a satisfying step in the right direction since he acknowledged everything he had done to that point was wrong. but with mora and zeynel, i think the story is saying bad and good people are still people. and that bad people are often bad for reasons and that while we dont have to forgive them, theres a degree to which we should still show them some human decency. and that if said bad person is trying to redeem themselves, its good to encourage it even if to us personally they cant be redeemed.

mathtans

Definitely address your questions, they seem like good ones.

RebelVampire

i think thats a good way to look at the transformation. that hes regressed. cause its definitely an identity crisis

like even without the vampire thing i doubt zeynel would have labeled himself as someone capable of murder

so that in itself is a holy crap moment

mathtans

He never knew what he was capable of until it was thrust onto him.

Something I've noticed narratively is the use of flashback. We started with the little blurb on the boat... then to the carpet selling... then back again 25 years. (There was something similar in the very first story too, the one I started reading accidentally.)

RebelVampire

yeah and tbh i think thats kind of within the comic as well regarding identity. that as much as we can come to define ourselves, we may still be missing portions of that definition if we never test ourselves in certain ways and find out what were actually capable of in certain situation.

mathtans

I always hesitate a bit with that style, like I wonder if it's really necessary, but I thought it worked well in terms of how the 25 years got kind of "fast forwarded" through the relationship to bring us to the present rather than jumping back. That was good.

(No idea if that narrative idea happens again.)

That's a good way of putting it, Rebel. Not only missing portions from testing but if other people are needed to bring those things into focus for us.

RebelVampire

yeah the use of flashback is interesting. though i think i most appreciate the first flashback transition from the boat to zeynel's successful merchant life. cause i think the boat really set up some great expectations. so when you see zeynel all happy selling a carpet youre like "hey werent you just eating a rat on a boat how did that come about."

mathtans

I'm not sure I made the link that fast, I just thought they were related or something.

RebelVampire

well even related i still think it sets up ominous tone for future events. so eh.

mathtans

I'm reminded of a conversation earlier today with colleagues, of when someone gets old and feels like maybe it's just their time and isn't necessarily proactive about health and stuff. But others may need that person to still be around. So they make an effort for that reason.

This two-panel style between Zeynel and Ayse is pretty effective.

RebelVampire

i think thats true to whats happening in the story for sure. cause as confident as Ayşe is, i dont think she wouldve accomplished her goals without zeynel. and tbf we dont really see them have that many friends who arent family and working for them. so they probably a close knit group

one thing i want to say at that end is that this comic really made me want to learn how to make carpets so i too can have beautiful carpets on my floor

mathtans

It's like, there's so much emotion here, it needs space to breathe.

I think there was a tutorial panel somewhere in there.

(For making carpets.)

RebelVampire

there was and id be lying if i said i didnt legitimately studied it for a bit

but then i gave up

and felt Ayşe's pain

mathtans

Made it to #300. Rough stuff. Very emotional.

You'll just have to weave your stories in the meantime, Rebel.

RebelVampire

this chat was missing a pun

COMIC TEA PARTY- THURSDAY BOOK CLUB END!

Sadly, this wraps up this week’s Thursday Book Club chat for now. Thank you so much to everyone for reading and joining us! We want to give a special thank you to Reimena Yee and Atla Hrafney, as well, for making The Carpet Merchant of Konstantiniyya. If you liked the comic, make sure to support Reimena Yee’s efforts however you’re able to~!

Read and Comment: https://reimenayee.com/the-carpet-merchant-of-konstantiniyya/

Pledge for a Hard Copy: https://unbound.com/books/the-carpet-merchant-voli/

Reimena’s Twitter: https://twitter.com/reimenayee

[vitalmindandbody]

Tragic, fascinating, bright- living for’ wild progeny’ Zelda Fitzgerald revisited

Two films and a TV line out soon portray the life of the jazz-age novelist and spouse of F Scott Fitzgerald

She is thought of as the original wild child, a pearl-twirling defendant girl who died at the age of 47 after a ardor broke out in the North Carolina sanatorium where she was a patient. Now Zelda Fitzgerald, the southern belle grew jazz-age heroine, dubbed the first American flapper by her husband and partner-in-drink Scott, is to have her own Hollywood make-over two films are in the pipeline and a television series will air on Amazon Prime early next year.

All three activities have starry appoints fixed: Jennifer Lawrence will take the lead in Zelda , a biopic directed against Ron Howard and based on Nancy Milfords best-selling biography; Scarlett Johansson will bob her fuzz for The Beautiful and The Damned ; and Christina Ricci will play young persons and impetuous Zelda in the Amazon series Z: The Beginning of Everything. The designation of the TV serial comes from Scotts awestruck provide comments on meet Zelda: I love her, and thats the beginning and end of everything.

So what is it about Zelda that fascinates nearly 70 times after her sad discontinue? In persona it is that the turmoils the couple lived through find an echo in our own hectic times.

Interest in the Fitzgeralds will no doubt been on the projected increase is not simply since Baz Luhrmanns film of The Great Gatsby in 2013 but too from the many parallels between their lives and production and the period were living through right now, does Sarah Churchwell, author of the critically acclaimed Careless Parties: Slaying, Mayhem and The Invention of the Great Gatsby .

Its a narrative of thunder and bust and it resonates as “were about” grappling with our own boom and failure, our own concern about the cost of our extravagances and our own social lacks. The lives and lucks of Scott and Zelda peculiarly mimicked their periods: in the 1920 s they were roaring for all they were value, but with the clang in 1929, everything descended apart.

It helps, too, that Zelda was so vibrant a digit. It begins with her beauty, does Churchwell. But likewise with the floors told in the 1920 s about the high jinks and recreation she and Scott seemed to have. Beings really liked her: she was surprising, intelligent, astute, amusing and adoration a good defendant. She too liked to be the centre of attention, and so had her detractors very. These occasions combined to draw her a legend.

Scott repeatedly returned to their relationship in his myth, most notably in his second novel, The Beautiful and Damned , which details the exhilarating early days of their union; and his mournful fourth, Tender Is The Night , in which the gilded daydream has faded into a more tawdry reality. Zeldas simply novel, Save Me The Waltz , presented the relationship from her side.

They were arguably Americas first fame pairing: a carefree golden couple who wrote their course into the spotlight, composing their own myth of gin-soaked days and fun-filled nights, simply to linger too long once the light-headed had started to dim. Their recklessness sees the fib exciting and dramatic, announces Churchwell. But they paid a the highest price.

After a few giddy times, all the youthful promise deteriorated away, leaving Scott a perplexed and drunk jobbing hack in Hollywood and delivering Zelda to breakdown at the age of 30, a diagnosis of schizophrenia , now widely thought to be a bipolar illness, and a life in and out of sanatoriums.

Her story is both fascinating and unfortunates, announces Therese Anne Fowler, on whose novel Z the Amazon series is based. Here we have a woman whose flairs and vitality and ability “shouldve been” became her a brilliant success, who was determined to be an accomplished creator, columnist and ballet dancer in an age where married girls were supposed to be wives and fathers, period. Her devotion to Scott was, in many ways, her undoing[ although] he was just as imprisoned as she was. Had they adored each other less, they might both have come to better ends.

The idea of Zelda as a bright girl caught by her period has gained traction in recent years, with a number of pieces re-evaluating her through the prism of feminism although it is not always the most wonderful of fits. As early as 1974, the couples daughter Scottie refused such affirms, writing that to make efforts to vistum her baby as a classic put-down spouse, whose efforts to express her quality were frustrated by a normally male chauvinist husband were no longer accurate.

Writing in the New Yorker in 2013, Molly Fischer agreed , mention: Saving Zelda Fitzgerald is no easy-going proposition …[ she] does not want to be anyones baby, and theres something mortifying about the literary readiness to domesticate her, to alter an irritating girl into an appealing heroine.

The new films may well further Hollywoodise Zelda, sanding away her bumpy borders and reinventing her as a relatable heroine for our modern times. The molding of Lawrence so often was regarded as Americas Sweetheart in the Howard biopic is no accident.

A report about the upcoming Johansson film in the Hollywood Reporter suggested it would draw on previously unreleased cloth to indicate that her husband stole his wifes ideas as his own.

Mark Gill, chairwoman of Millennium Films, the production fellowship behind The Beautiful and The Damned , agrees : She was massively ahead of her time and she took a defeat for it. He plagiarized her ideas and gave them in his notebooks. The wedding was a codependency from blaze with a jazz-age soundtrack. The movie has, nonetheless, secured the co-operation of the Fitzgerald estate.

Fowler agrees that there is a thriving propensity to utilize our own concerns to Zelda. We do anoint her as a kind of proto-feminist heroine, even though she didnt visualize herself as a feminist and didnt fully attain at anything, she supposes. But her original honour is based on conventional paternalistic standards of what the status of women, baby and bride ought to be and do. Her desires and her insistence on prosecuting them were considered inappropriate and undesirable; after her psychopathic crack she was literally told that this insistence had created her divide psyche and that the path to a antidote lay in giving up all passions that didnt conform to the paternalistic ideal.

Scarlett Johansson, Jennifer Lawrence and Christina Ricci are all set to play Zelda Fitzgerald in the forthcoming yields The Beautiful and the Damned, Zelda and Z: The Beginning of Everything. Composite: Getty Images

The backlash against this image is understandable considering the fact that popular opinion of Zelda was initially driven by Ernest Hemingways notoriously corrosive descriptions in A Moveable Feast , produced posthumously in 1964, in which he dismissed her as insane and accused Scotts flourishing dependence on beverage on his wife.

Our perception has very much changed, mentions Churchwell. We have come to sympathise with her frustration, to recognise her endows and has become still more fair-minded about her alternatives. That mentioned, she cautions against attempts to create a Team Scott/ Team Zelda divide, as is so often the subject in famed literary partnerships. Its important to say that they always desired each other and wouldnt have appreciated beings taking slopes Fitzgerald wrote a few years before he was dead that it was a moral obligation that their friends understood they were a pair, a component and would abide that behavior, even if her illness necessitate they couldnt live together.

Churchwell is also scathing about attempts to suggest Zelda had a larger role in her husbands make than previously presumed. There are people who want to credit Zelda with Scotts work, which is just silly and doesnt do females any prefers, she mentions. Its not a zero-sum competition: we can recognise both of them for who they were.

Zelda had many aptitudes, but where writing was pertained she was probably extremely ill when she started to hone her gifts, and while it is true that Scott didnt especially want her to write partly out of territoriality but partly because medical doctors told him it was bad for her its also true-life that her work isnt in the same class as his. Her individual sentences are often lovely, and she can create a humor and has clever comes of phrase but her makes tend to be sketches rather than full stories. If they had acquired different selections, perhaps she could have been an important scribe, but current realities is that she wasnt.

Perhaps, then, the real key to Zeldas resumed pull on our imagination lies not in her design but in her modernity. I dont want to live I want to cherish firstly and live incidentally, she extol and it is that verve and desire for all of lifes know-hows, both good and bad, that unfolds down over the decades, granting each generation to see something new.

Z: The Beginning of Everything will air on Amazon Prime early next year

THEY SAID

I have rarely known the status of women who uttered herself so delightfully and freshly: she had no ready-made words on the one side and no striving for outcome on the other. Critic Edmund Wilson

I fell in love with her fearlessnes, her honesty and her flame self-respect, and its these happenings I would believe in even if the whole world pandered in wild surmises that she wasnt all that she should be.

F Scott Fitzgerald

I did not have a single inclination of insignificance, or shyness, or disbelief, and no moral principles.

All I miss is to be very young always and very irresponsible, and to feel that my life is my own to live and be happy and croak in my own direction to delight myself.

Other families ideas of us are dependent predominantly on what theyve hoped for.

Read more: www.theguardian.com

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