#these can be used to describe actor!mark and ME 🙈

[themagical1sa]

something I've been thinking about

I'm not an Actor!Mark fan nor am I an Actor!Mark hater, but I may be a secret third thing: an Actor!Mark kinnie. /hj

Okay, let me explain-

-the idea came back to me when my friends brought up an ex-bestie again.

This ex-bestie sexted my then-crush for several days. She only admitted after my ex-crush admitted to me, and the both of them only confessed to me about what they did the day after Valentine's Day back in 2021.

And to think, I wrote them poems along with my other best friends...

...anyway, all this made me remember that day, that unfortunate, God-forsaken day that was February 15, 2021. It was an exam day, and I didn't think much when my then-crush said he had something to confess (aside from how he liked me and wanted to properly court me someday), but God, I didn't think he'd confess about sexting with one of my friends either.

I could have been furious -- no, I was furious. I remember having been so infuriated that I wanted to stab someone like myself or something. I wanted to burn the gifts they gave me. I wanted to burn my room. I wanted to destroy everything including myself.

I was enraged, but I still tried to be civil while confronting my ex-bestie who gaslit me about the feelings I had told her about.

I could have just lost my composure and let it out on her, but I didn't.

The following months were hell, though. I remember wanting to create an elaborate plan just to drag both my ex-best friend and my now ex-crush, but I felt I was better than that. If they were so horrible and handled my feelings and trust and heart so carelessly, then why should I be giving them any form of thought or attention? Why create an elaborate plan against them when I could simply cut them out of my life?

Creating an elaborate plan against the two who personally and gravely wronged me was really tempting, honestly, but like I said -- I felt I was better than that...

...so imagine how uncanny I felt when I realized what Actor!Mark did exactly when I rewatched Who Killed Markiplier? after five years since I first saw it.

Mark the Actor was betrayed and cheated on by his best friend and his beloved wife; and, in his hurt, he created an elaborate plan against both of them. It backfired immensely and affected all their friends, but still...

...I felt an extremely uncanny feeling when I realized that I'd been through a similar experience. I couldn't hate nor love him for his character arc because I went through practically the same thing (without the elaborate plan part... yet...?).

Man. Relating to Mark the Actor was not on my Markiplier fandom relapse bingo card, but here I am now, I guess...?

On another note, I've been very tempted to undergo some flavor of "villain arc" myself. I don't exactly know what that implies nor entails, but it's been in my mind for a while. Something about focusing more on myself than other people -- I hear that's what a personal villain arc is.

Anyway, that's it for this thought piece thing.

If you made it this far... thanks...? Haha... hatdog 🌭